So I learned a few days ago that there were Minecraft novel books. The books were not connected to each other, like not having an overall narrative through the books, so that inspired me to make one myself.
This is a summarized version of the idea of a Minecraft series. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Minecraft: The series

Volume 1: The Giant
Chapter 1: Reincarnated

• Our main character gets reincarnated into the Minecraft game because he died due to an earthquake as he was getting ready to play Minecraft. When he gets reincarnated, we see him explore the world, and process what had happened to him, and where he was.
• Chapter 2: Night
  • Night starts to arrive, and the main character is starving. He tries to get food, but then starts to get attacked by different monsters. He finds a secret hideout and goes there, where a village was. The MC explains what happened, and the villager was a bit confused when the monsters attacked them. The village Tom helped them defeat them, and Tom invited the MC to the village.
• Chapter 3: Village
  • We go to the village named Grummor and see the iron golem battle a zombie army. The villagers come, and together they defeat it. Tom explains that the zombies have started to get more active due to the rebirth of the giant, which was a huge zombie. He explains briefly some of the giant lore and how it had a huge zombie army and loved to destroy things. Also, that the giant always rebirths every 500 years., and then we explore the village life a bit.
• Chapter 4: Life in the village
  • We see the average life in the village and what Tom does as a weaponsmith. The MC ends up working as a farmer, and his boss was very strict. Later, the MC gets invited to talk with the leader of the village, Steve. He was a normal human and not a villager, and he explains a bit about why he is the leader of the village and some other things. The main point was that he wanted to know his purpose. The MC explains his lore, and they get a bit closer, and he gets to stay.
• Chapter 5: Into the cave
  • Once again, we see the average life of the MC with the mean farmer, Archibald. This time, the MC tries to have a better relationship with his boss, but he fails. Tom explains that Archibald was a stubborn one but cared about everyone; the MC didn't believe that in the slightest. The leader asks Tom, two villagers, and the MC to go mining; they pack and head off with two new members, Dave and Bill. They were twin brothers, but the MC saw all the villagers the same way. Dave was sarcastic and joked quite a bit. Bill was a bit shy since the MC was not a villager, and in this world, everyone who is not a villager is seen as mighty and powerful. They explore the caves and get attacked by a few monsters, but all goes well. Until the creeper explodes, the land blows them away, and they fall into a mineshaft.
• Chapter 6: Mineshaft
  • In the mineshaft, the villagers get excited and try to find all the loot they can, and Tom explains that their ancestors used to live underground because the monsters were so powerful, but when their ancestors got more powerful, they started to live in the ground, and these mine shafts were stations between the villages and cities underground. The MC was fascinated. Meanwhile, Dave and Bill find an amethyst geode, explore it, and then get surrendered by cave spiders. They come running to Tom and the MC, and they try to defeat them. Realizing there was a spawner, they tried to quickly escape from the cave and succeeded .( They managed to get some of the loot before all the chaos. )
• Chapter 7: The search
  • They go to the village leader, where they get their report. Steve, the leader, promises he will go there and get the rest of the loot and destroy the spawner to see if they can get more knowledge from ancient times. The leader prepares to go to find the wandering trader. The MC asked why, and the leader said they can sometimes predict the future without realizing it. The MC told him that he initially thought he was going to buy something from him, and the leader made sure he understood that they didn't have anything valuable and that it was a waste of money. They pack, say bye to the village, and go on the journey. It took some time, and all three of them noticed that each night the zombie activity increased massively. One day when they were sleeping inside a small cave and their bags were gone with all the food, and they felt hopeless because of it. The MC started to doubt if they could find the wandering trader. All of a sudden, Tom noticed that behind them was the wandering trader, commonly called the “wanderer” or the "predictor.” In specific situations, "an idiot"

Chapter 8: Zombies rise

• The wanderer behind them made the sound of the mob, and they were all relieved. Steve tried to explain the problem and asked the wanderer if the giant had fully awakened and where their chambers were this time, since they change every time. The wanderer took some time to realize some things he said, and Steve had to repeat the phrases many times, but he still could not understand. They concluded that he was extremely dumb and decided to go back to the village with the wanderer. It was nighttime, and they got attacked by zombies. Tom, the McSteve, fought the zombies and protected the wanderer, who continued to make the sounds. After they defeated them, they left and were cautious since they were low on health. When they started to get attacked by the phantoms, the wanderer all of a sudden started to give the prediction, Hmph, hmph... big... big... very big... the mountain.“ and then started to list the coordinates of the chambers, which isn't normal; they couldn't write it down since they were still being attacked by the phantoms, but they managed to make it to the village, and the villagers realized what was happening and were ready to handle the phantoms.
• Chapter 9: Zombie attack
  • Things got rough. The villagers managed to defeat the phantoms, but one villager reported that a zombie army was approaching. The leader quickly assigned everyone their positions for the battle, and defense walls were being built, but it was already too late; the zombies were inside the village. Steve explained that the zombies were coming in four groups: one from the north, another from the east, one from the west, and so on. Steve added that after they were done here, they needed to go to defeat the giant, so he instructed the MC to be careful as he batted, so he batted against the giant. The villagers battled, and it was rough; some villagers had died and others were seriously injured.
  • Things weren't looking so good. Steve decided to evacuate the village. Everyone got ready, and in the middle of the evacuation, as some people began to run away, they started to realize that the evacuation couldn't happen anymore; they got surrounded in the village. Things only got worse. One of the zombies lit a wooden house on fire, and it slowly spread with the rest of the buildings. The villagers only option was to fight fire with fire. Literally. Some lit their sticks on fire and started to burn the zombies, and others tried to extinguish the fire that was destroying the village. Soon enough, they started to win the battle and kill off the zombie army, but they still haven't defeated the giant.
• Chapter 10: The plan
  • It was 1 a.m. in the morning, and some of the villagers started to put up the defense wall while Steve, Tom, the MC, and a few others, including the wanderer, held a meeting on how to progress. The leader gave the damage and the total deaths. Almost everyone was injured in some way, and eight villagers had died in the battle. Steve made it clear when going to the battle that the giants needed to be careful and avoid more deaths. It would be tough since there were propably over 200 zombies in the chambers and in the mountains.The zombie population was continuously increasing because there were spawners in the chambers. With that in mind, one of the villagers, Elica, who was a strong warrior and loved to fight and wanted to become the strongest warrior in the land, told them that they should just storm in and beat up the giant and its underlings. Despite Elica being a great warrior, she was overconfident. The other suggested getting help from another village, but the village they knew was too far away, and they didn't have time to search for another one nearby.
  • After thinking about what to do, the MC got an idea when he remembered what he did when he was being attacked by monsters during the night when he played Minecraft. They agree on the plan and leave the village, and as they leave, the wanderer starts to say things again: “Angry, awake, coming down” and tells the coordinates. Tom wrote them down and thanked the wanderer who suddenly passed out; someone took care of him, and they marched off with the remaining who could fight in the chambers.
• Chapter 11: Battle in the mountains,
  • As they traveled to the mountains, the MC was scared, but Tom explained that Steve was powerful and they could win. Dave and Bill, who were also them, were reassured that the leader would keep them safe, but the MC wasn't sure and wondered where he would go if he got killed here. As they marched in, there were a huge number of zombies in the hills, all coming down. The next wave. The MC and the others took their spots and started to burn the forest in a square shape, trapping the zombies. While the others tried to push them into the square, soon the others came with skeletons, spiders, creepers, and a few phantoms behind them.
  • They ran into the square, and the zombies started to fight with the other mobs, and the fire started to slowly close in while still burning areas surrounding it. They also noticed that there was a larger army from the other village, Rioria. With teamwork, they managed to kill off the zombies. They felt pretty good until they heard a very creepy and ugly voice from the sky. All of them looked up at where the giant was standing and were observing the battle.
• Chapter 12: The giant
  • We get a little backstory to the meeting where Steve explained after the meeting about the chambers, where the giant rebirthed every 500 years, from a special totem that kept rebirthing the giant every 500 years and made it fight against its will and destroy everything. Apparently the ancestors had beef with an ancient tribe who were connected to zombies, so when the tribe was wiped out, they kept reawakening the giant every 500 years in hopes of destroying the world and getting their revenge. The MC was confused about why it had to be every 500 years, and Steve explained that the giant was reborn with the power of a totem (that was a crystal in the shape of a totem). It took a long time for the totem to get enough power to be able to raise the giant back from the dead. Steve also explained that this time, they have a better chance to destroy the totem since they have gotten better materials and new villages have been built in the area, so if they came to the battle field, they could win. Another advantage they have is that they know where the chambers are, so they don't need to waste time finding them and let the zombies have time to cause more damage.
  • Back to the battle: the giant was massive, but it could only fight by stomping and waiting for more zombies to spawn from the spawners. Steve assigned Tom, the MC, Bill, Dave, and Elica to go to the chambers and find the totem-shaped crystal and break it. They agreed and went to the chambers. They had a regeneration potion, so they were fully ready to beat them up. They immediately made their way to the chambers and were ready for the battle.
• Chapter 13: The chambers
  • Going into the chambers, there were zombies, and Elica wiped them all out. Late, they got into a trap. Getting surrounded by zombies, the MC noticed it was a thing that they liked to do and found a way to escape the trap. If they charged through one way, they should get out easier, and they put the plan into action, which worked on some level, but they were still being chased by zombies. The problem was that there were a huge number of tunnels in the caves, and they had to find the specific passageway to the huge opening where the totem was. Meanwhile, on the battlefield, the giant started to go on a rampage. Steve used a few potions of harming, but understood they were no match and the fate of the village and others depended on the MC and the group he was in.
  • As they ran in the tunnels, they somehow got separated once when they accidentally left Bill behind, but they were all together, supposedly close to the area where the crystal is. They assumed that because the zombie activity was very high. Assuming they might be protecting something, like the totem. At one point, the monsters came both ways, and they had no exit; they were stuck. Things weren't looking good, but Elica did not show a slight fear, took out her bow and arrow, and started to one-shot them. She commanded the others to go forward and kill them. They weren't sure about her decision since she was the strongest and she was the one shooting arrows. If she were to kill the zombies with a sword, it would have been much faster, but they didn't want to make her mad. So after surviving the attack and being super weak because of it, they make it to the area where the crystal was, and the number of zombies is huge. Alica started to make a staircase from the stone blocks, which hadn't come to mind for others before. They bridged to the crystal on the roof. It was easier than any of them imagined.
  • Meanwhile, on the battlefield outside, it started to rain, and the giant had totally destroyed them all and walked across the remaining fire like it was nothing. As he was walking towards the village, Steve couldn't imagine him destroying the village; he wouldn't let that happen. He stood up and tried his best to kill it, but he just stomped over him and continued walking. So far, they have reduced half of the giant's health, costing many lives. Many wanted to kill it, but they were all so exhausted and hurt. All of them started to lose hope and prayed that they could destroy the crystal.
  • As they bridged to the crystal, the zombies started to bridge and come towards them. They needed to destroy the crystal fast before they got killed by the zombies.
• Chapter 14: The crystal
  • Tom, whose face turned pale, explained that they couldn’t get out if they all swarmed inside this cave. The MC thought that all the zombies would die if they destroyed the crystal. Tom explained that the zombies came from the spawners, not from the totem's powers. The totem did form the spawners, but according to world logic, it wasn't the totem who was making the zombies; it was the spawner. So they quickly went to the crystal on the roof and ran out of the blocks. The situation didn't look good, but Elica tried to shoot the cystalls, but only a few of the arrows managed to barely hit them.
  • During the battle, the weather got worse. Some stood up and went again to fight, causing some damage. The giant had 42% of its health left but was still standing strong and got close to the village. Steve had enough and wanted to protect the village, so he started to climb him, went close to its head, made his way close to his nose, and stabbed its eye. The giant was in pain and used his hand to get him away, but Steve managed to dodge the first time. The second time, the giant took him and was about to hit him hard on the ground, which would have killed him. Steve tried to stab its hand so he could fall and possibly survive, but to everyone's shock, the zombie just despawned. Steve fell to the ground and somehow managed to break his fall a bit with the help of the villagers, but he was seriously injured and needed immediate care.
  • In the cave, they finally managed to destroy the totem, and it exploded. David started to bridge in panic and made it safely to the other side of the cave. The zombies got closer, and Dave and Bill started to mine their way out. The MC, Elica, and Tom handled the zombies. When the tunnel was deep enough, they ran inside, blocking the exit. Elica had a torch, and they made it out. They were all tired and got filled up with what happened. Steve was in the hospital in Alavania, a city formed from 8 villages, and everyone slowly got back. The fire had died out due to the rain.
• Chapter 15: Rebuilding and continuing the journey
  • When they returned to the village, everyone cheered them on and called them heroes. They explained to the village what had happened, and the villagers were concerned about when their leader would return. The military from Alavania heard the giant’s awakening and destroyed the spawners immediately.
  • A month went by, and everyone was at peace. One day, Tom asked a few times how the MC was going to move forward. The MC wasn't sure since he was still adapting to the new life, but today he made his decision. They were on the beach having a picnic, and the MC announced to Tom that he wanted to stay and live with them. If it would be fine with Steve, the MC had no place for him to go or get back to since he just spawned here. Tom was happy to hear it, and when Dave and Bill learned that too, they were also very supportive. When Steve returned the following day, the village was very happy about his arrival. The MC asked if he could stay, and the leader didn't hesitate to say yes, and he was sure he would be a great help. Everyone celebrated, and the village took the MC with open hands. Everything was back to normal, and the MC got to explore the new world he had reincarnated into.
  • In the final pages, we see Alavania's leader come back to his throne, looking mad. His personal butler, Alvin, the leader of Alavania, asked how the meeting went. Alvania was furious and said how they just kept talking about the giant matter and some other boring stuff, when he brought up his plan, they didn't give him permission. He was mad, but he had a backup plan. He was going to go to the Woodland mansion and make a deal with the pillagers that would fulfill his life's goal. Destroying Grummor.

I tried to get rid of all the grammatical mistakes, if there are any I'm very sorry I'm not the best with these stuff. If anything does not make sense, tell me, and I will make it clear for you.
Thank you for reading!

Pre-Trib Trigger Points
Many within the Pre-Trib Rapture belief camp understand that the Rapture is dealt with in Jesus’ Olivet Discourse. My dear friend, the late Dave Hunt, gave an excellent session on the subject, which he was assigned to address at a conference.
However, in his uncompromising, straight-ahead way of exposition, Dave changed the title of that session early on the morning of December 1998 at the Pre-Trib Study Group gathering in Dallas from “Is the Rapture in the Olivet Discourse?” to “The Rapture Is in the Olivet Discourse.” He told us who were in attendance that he just couldn’t see how the Rapture of the Church was not in that tremendous prophetic teaching the Lord Himself gave as an answer to His disciples’ question: “What will be the sign of your coming, and of the end of the world [age]?”
I have both the transcript and the audio of that session; they are treasures I pull out every once in a while to bolster my understanding of God’s Holy Word on the profound matters involved in the pre-Trib Rapture of believers.
Jesus, in the discourse, gave a number of signals that would be prevalent at the time of His return to Earth in the Second Coming. Mixed within His description of coming back in the Second Advent was the first phase of that return to the earth.
The first things He said to look for were deception and deceivers. He went on to say there would be great upheaval among the populations of Earth. There would be, He said, great ethnic strife.
He further said there would be signs in the sun, moon, and stars. There would be pestilences and an increase of earthquakes in many places. He said that eventually, these terrible things going on would get so frightening that people’s hearts would fail them when they look at what is coming their way.
He stated that the entire world of rebels against God and His order would increasingly come to hate both the disciples—who, of course, were Christians by this time—and the Jewish people. The people with reprobate minds (Romans 1:28) would think to kill both classes of those who are associated with God. For unbelieving Israel – the Jews of the seven-year Tribulation era – persecution by the one who will become Antichrist, the world’s final great dictator, would eventuate in the most terrible time in human history. It would be the same for those, both Jews and Gentiles, who will have accepted Christ for salvation during that horrendous time. Most of these would be martyred—many beheaded—for their belief. For those accepting Antichrist’s satanic mark (Revelation 13:16–18), the wrath and judgment of God would be even worse than for the martyred saints.
So we come to Luke 21:28. Jesus commanded all who are alive when these signals become obvious to do the following:
“And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.”
With this great commandment by the Lord Himself to look for these signals of His return in the first phase of His Second Advent–that is, when they begin to come to pass—we must consider whether we’re now witnessing the pre-Trib trigger points to the Rapture of the Church.
The things we’ve seen “coming to pass” for quite some time include the following:

Deception in every direction we look. Just the political deception alone is in our faces daily. But the lies coming even from governmental institutions, attempting to change America into an anti-God mindset, cannot be missed.
The seas of humanity are roaring; there is great ethnic upheaval. Protests are no longer peaceful but are turning into physical battles, especially among the young on the campuses of higher education. Much of this turmoil is being fomented by the very professors who are supposed to be teaching the young.
The hatred of the Jews is on the rise as it was in the late 1930s of Nazi Germany, bringing to mind our Lord telling about the hatred that would eventuate. Zechariah’s words (Zechariah chapter 12) are being borne out. Israel and Jerusalem are becoming a “cup of trembling” and a “burdensome stone” for the entire world.
Additionally, we see the stage being set for Antichrist controls once the Rapture takes the Church to Glory. Artificial intelligence, fused with demonically inspired acumen, will give Satan’s man of sin godlike powers in the eyes of those left behind on earth to suffer under Antichrist’s rule.
And, of course, there is the unmistakable pre-Trib trigger point of looming globalism storming upon the world scene in preparation for that son of perdition. Antichrist will take over when the Restrainer, resident within the Christians who are with the Lord in the Rapture, no longer holds back evil. Antichrist’s dictatorship is even now in its late stage of development, as the following analysis indicates.

Planetary Emergency
Over the last couple of years, the phrase “planetary emergency” has become increasingly used by the United Nations and aligned organizations to describe their belief that the planet is passing from various states of crisis to emergencies from which humanity might not return unless drastic action is taken. We have even seen the release of opinion pieces calling for “a formal declaration of a ‘planetary emergency’ by the UN General Assembly at the Summit of the Future in September and the activation of an ‘emergency platform.’”
The calls for declaration of an emergency have also reached the White House. Last week, Bloomberg reported the Biden administration is considering declaring a climate emergency.
“White House officials have renewed discussions about potentially declaring a national climate emergency, an unprecedented step that could unlock federal powers to stifle oil development,” Bloomberg wrote.
White House spokesperson Angelo Fernandez Hernandez told Bloomberg that Biden “has treated the climate crisis as an emergency since day one.” (“UN 2.0 Coming This Fall—Setting the Stage for Global Government,” Derrick Broze, Activist Post, May 1, 2024)
All we must do is observe the anti-Semitism—the growing, worldwide hatred of Jews—to know we are very late in the final hours of this Age of Grace. I believe that, soon, Jews in America will become so fearful as to want to move to Israel, where God’s Word says all of Israel will eventually accept their Messiah. Now, of course, that means only the prophesied remnant of Israel will believe and be saved to go into the Millennium under the King of all kings. But the things that are coming against Jews of America at this very moment look to be something that will only grow worse in the prophetic sense. Likely, this movement to Israel in total won’t happen until all Christians have gone to be with Christ. Few defenders of Israel will be left once the Rapture happens. And all the pre-Trib trigger points seem to be in place for that to occur very, very soon.
Whether Jew or Gentile, here is how to go to the Lord Jesus Christ when He calls all believers to Himself, thus fulfilling His promise of Revelation 3:10:
“That if you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and will believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation”(Romans 10:9–10).
—Terry
Rapture Ready - Nearing Midnight Weekly Commentary

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here.
What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.
The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center... the center of danger is here... of a particular size and shape, and below us.
The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.
The danger is to the body, and it can kill.
The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.
The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

[Original source] [Wikipedia]
The above is from a 1993 study on how to warn people in the distant future about the dangers posed by a nuclear waste repository. This message needs to be communicated to people who stumble upon the site, and it needs to be done so non-verbally. As nuclear waste stays dangerous for tens of thousands of years, there will eventually be people who come upon the site who will not share a language with us. They will not share symbols with us. They will not share a culture with us. Yet they will be humans, and we are obligated to protect them.
I came upon this specific ... it's not quite a poem, but that's what Chelsea Weber-Smith of the podcast American Hysteria called it in her most recent episode, which I had the joy to listen to earlier this week. It's about the borderline-bonkers field of study (and one of my occasional obsessions) called nuclear semiotics, which analyzes this problem.
Coincidentally, I started my second playthrough of Tears of the Kingdom the day after listening to this story. As I descended the staircase, through the gloom, past the murals and to G-Do himself, I couldn't help but think... the ancient Hylians/Zonai had a similar problem to our civilization. There is a danger underground that must be contained, and people must be warned. It's interesting how some of the strategies they employ to convey this message are mirrored in the thoughts of nuclear semioticians, and how in other ways went against the most basic ideas of this field. In the end, did they fail? (Yes, the answer is yes) Will we fail to protect our own future people? (yes, but for different reasons)
Worth saying, they had it easy compared to us:

1. We know nothing of the people of 10,000 years from now. They literally had a princess from this future culture at their disposal.
2. All human languages currently in existence will be unintelligible to the people of 12024, more so than how Proto-Indo-European (spoken only ~6k years ago) is unintelligible to us today. Ancient Hylian, on the other hand, is basically Middle English.

They tried many strategies that nuclear semioticians have considered, some implemented better than others, with varying levels of success:

1. An "atomic priesthood", namely the Sheikah and the Royal Family. This is a group of people who are dedicated to the mission of preserving information about the threat across millennia, in the same way religious movements dating to the Iron Age and Classical Antiquity have managed to preserve the teachings of their founders into the present. We know Sheikah tech is seen in the imprisoning chamber, and the royal family pass down the story of the Imprisoning War. Unfortunately, this "priesthood" over the millennia proved small and unstable. Depending on how you place TotK in the timeline, the Sheikah and the royal line were nearly wiped out several times, reduced at one point to kindergarten teacher and a pre-teen pirate captain. Even if the movement survived, the message of "do not go below the castle" was eventually forgotten.
2. Physical monuments. There are three general threads of thought. One is to create some kind of frightening, ominous landscape that communicates "this is a bad place," like a forest of jagged concrete spikes. Another thread, as Weber-Smith put it, thinks that's some very American absurdity, and the best thing is to just hide it somewhere unimportant. Dig a hole in the Arctic, drop it in. Another (more interesting) idea is to make it the center of attention. Build a nuclear-themed amusement park, a nuclear temple, something people will tell stories of and preserve. No one wants to drill for oil on the Acropolis. The Hylians went and built a magnificent castle and their capitol city. It's not clear this helped since the original message was eventually lost.
   1. They appear to have communicated the specifics primarily in writing, and in a single written language: Zonai, a system so obtuse that not even the Internet can crack it. Correct me if I am wrong, but we see no Gerudo hieroglyphs, no Sheikah characters, no other text in the game in any other language warning about what is under the castle. Almost none of this text is near the castle. Much of it is in the goddamn sky. There is text immediately adjacent to the Imprisoning Chamber, on and around statues of Zonai. Zelda just takes pictures and keeps walking.
      1. (I am trying to find a source, and I cannot, but I remember tales of a warning in the castle itself, a very nondescript stela that's like "don't go under the castle." I don't remember what language it is in, but in any case it's not exactly in a prominent place) EDIT: my thanks to u/banter_pants who linked to some screenshots of the stela in question in the comments. You can see it here. Some important points: Link can read it, meaning it is not original to the ancient period, and it is in a space only accessible to the Royal Family and those associated with them. To me, this suggests a later addition related to the "atomic priesthood," preserving this secret memory. What's also really striking is the text really seems to evoke the quote I opened with even including the phrase, "If the site is disturbed..."
3. Written and artistic representations of the message. Nuclear semioticians seem to think this is a challenge. Many proposals that do include written messages would start with it being in multiple languages, with broad, general terms are the periphery of the site (Bad! Malo!), getting more specific as you approach the center (plutonium 1.4km down). There's art, like this, which might not work, as we can't guarantee symbols like ☢️ or skulls will mean the same thing to future people. The Hylians/Zonai just... well they didn't think about any of this.
   1. The statues closest to the source of the danger are Zonai, a race completely forgotten. They are not in a position warning people off. They just stand there, arms at their sides, conveying nothing.
   2. Of course, a discussion of art would be incomplete without talking about the murals... they're a bit too close to the problem. G-Do is literally in the next room. If he was nuclear waste, you're already losing all your hair. The murals are only understandable by people with specific knowledge of the Royal Family's lore. They do not depict useful information (eg. he's literally in the next room), only a legend. And the structure of the space it was in was so poorly constructed that literally the most important bits were obscured by rubble.
4. Finally, there is the physical barrier between the environment and the threat. You bury it in concrete, deep underground, somewhere without a lot of rainfall and earthquakes. The last thing that needs to happen is a bit of groundwater to start carrying plutonium into a well. You don't just leave this stuff in a ditch (unless you do). And yet... there is apparently a staircase directly to G-Do. He keeps spitting out calamities. People are getting sick from the emanation of energy/gloom...

I am not sure I have a point exactly. The lore nerds will rightfully point out that containment failed at exactly the moment it was meant to: ie. when Zelda came upon it and closed the time loop. True fact. I'm just stirring these tropes together. The ancient Hylians/Zonai tried to communicate a danger and how to deal with it to people in their distant future, ultimately showing us a bunch of ways that this did not work.
Us in the real world will have to hope nuclear semioticians have better ideas. Most of this stuff is sitting the parking lots of nuclear power plants as we argue about where to put it. Hopefully we put it underground with good signage before we have our own calamity.

Cigarettes and rebellion have always gone hand-in-hand, and in an age of cigarette packet-sized health warnings, now more than ever, smoking a fag says: 'I do not give a fuck.' But if Brandon Flowers is hoping to strike a seditious pose by sparking up at the start of the interview, it's not going according to plan. The Killers' frontman is on all fours rooting through the junk that carpets the anteroom at the band's rehearsal space. "Has anyone seen my lighter?" he asks, rocking back on his heels. The question hangs in the air while Brandon cocks his head, waiting for an answer like a meerkat listening for a predator. Twenty-five years old and with a delicate bone structure, there's something almost dainty about him. Receiving no response, he returns to his search. "Oh, Jeez," he sighs. "I had it just a minute ago."
It's a scene that emphatically does not suggest a rebel without a cause. The mess isn't helping. The Killers' HQ - an industrial unit sandwiched between a construction supplier and the offices of a housing development just off Dean Martin Drive in West Las Vegas - is ankle-deep in designer clothing. A Dior Homme suit lies crumpled by the door; there's a pile of shoes topped like a sundae by a pair of Marc Jacobs trainers; and anyone wishing to enter the shoebox room the band use as an office must negotiate a mountain of discarded jeans. Many items are identifiable as coming from the wardrobe of Hot Fuss, The Killers' hugely successful 2004 debut album - triple platinum in the UK with two weeks at Number One and five million sold worldwide. Look! There are the shirts, ties and suit jackets they wore when they thrilled Glastonbury 2005 with indie rock anthems Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me. That was the crowning moment of a two-and-a-half year tour that finally concluded in October of last year. It seems that after playing that final date in Miami, they returned to Vegas and shrugged off their image onto the floor of this bland white box.
Now a fine layer of dust covers the dead clothes. The Killers have no further use for white tuxedos on their second album, Sam's Town. Today, Brandon wears a black polo shirt, black pin-stripe waistcoat, black jeans and black boots. Where there used to be a layer of foundation, there is now a beard - an untrimmed beard at that. Dave Keuning (30, guitar), Mark Stoermer (29, bass) and Ronnie Vannucci (29, drums) all echo Brandon's black ensemble. Ronnie has added Aviator shades and a handlebar moustache for a dash of motorcycle cop, Dave's frizzy bubble of hair gives him a Marc Bolan-ish air, and there's something very teenage about Mark's scuffed Vans.
Short of walking around wearing sandwich boards saying, "Our new record is a bit heavier than the last one," The Killers couldn't hope to communicate that message more effectively. And they have gained some musical girth on Sam's Town. The pop hooks that made Hot Fuss so irresistible survive intact - see the ringing guitar riffs on first single When You Were Young - but there's a newfound punchiness, coupled with an epic sweep. The minor-to-major uplifts on Bones are fabulously dramatic, the coda to Why Do I Keep Counting? thrillingly intense. Comparisons to Bruce Springsteen have been made. If they overstate the case a little, they are at leaset qualitatively accurate. The Killers are back and this time it's serious - they've got the bootlace ties to prove it.
"Hey, it says here that Springsteen's headlining Glastonbury next year," shouts Ronnie, who's flicking through the NME. He nods sagely at the page without looking up.
"Really?" asks Dave, nicknamed Crazy Dave on account of his alledgedly volatile nature.
"The Boss is headlining one night, we're playing second on the bill the next night and Kylie's headlining the Sunday," says Brandon, charging like a bull through Michael Eavis' as-yet-unannounced line-up with what subsequently proves to be a characteristic gaucheness.
But that lighter is proving elusive. This being America, none of the people hurrying to-and-fro prepping the world for the release of Sam's Town smokes. Manager Robert Reynolds - Bobby Rey to the band - barks into his mobile, booking his band onto eye-wateringly demanding tours. "We're going to make a lot of money," he cackles to himself before switching calls to make a series of stern pronouncements on legal matters. Dave, Mark and Ronnie disappear for a jam session. Artwork is approved, B-sides are decided on and schedules are hammered out.
"I can't find it," Brandon says, finally. But he's not going to be denied the opportunity to underline The Killers reinvention with a puff of smoke. "Let's go to the gas station. I'll have to buy one. It's too busy to talk here anyway."
+
Brandon's black (of course) Volkswagen Touraeg four-wheel drive is barrelling down West Flamingo Road into town. "I was a bell boy there," he says, pointing out of the driver's window at the stucco facade of the Gold Coast casino. "I was working there when we were signed."
Coming from Las Vegas, it is perhaps inevitable that casinos play a big part in The Killers' story; not only is Sam's Town named after one, it was recorded in one, too.
The band began writing songs while on the road with Hot Fuss, turning up early for soundchecks to run through new ideas. On a trip home to Vegas, George Maloof, a hotelier known for cultivating famous friends, invited them to record the album in the new studio he'd built at The Palms, his flagship hotel-cum-gambling den. When the tour finished in October 2005, they returned to Vegas and spent five month finessing the songs they'd sketched out on the road. Then, in February, they decampled to the third floor studio at The Palms and recorded Sam's Town over 11 weeks.
Producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode) encouraged them to experiment. They overdubbed, fiddled with synthesizers and played with new equipment. It took them five weeks to get the backing vocals right. The band sang the harmonies, then double-tracked them four times. The end result recalls Queen wondering, "Is this is the real life? Is this just fantasy?" When Ronnie, a trained classical percussionist, brought some kettledrums down, eyebrows were raised; but the fabulously bombastic coda on Why Do I Keep Counting? vindicates his indulgence.
"That's kind of the Ben Hur of the album," he says. He's not wrong. Sam's Town is a record on an epic scale. "Yeah, it has drama," he continues. "But, at the same time, I think it's a little more exposed than Hot Fuss. It's a little more naked. Last time it was about a lot of fictional things." By "fictional", Ronnie means that Hot Fuss wore its predominantly British influences for all to see. Brandon's taste in music is rabidly Anglophile - he constantly references The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division - and it showed. By contrast, Sam's Town is an unequivocally American record. The lyrical imagery is pure American dream - cars, girls, wide-open spaces and escaping to a better life. "We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane that started turning/When you were young," sings Brandon on When You Were Young. That's the basis of the Springsteen comparisons then, though the lack of pathos more closely recalls another blue-collar rocker from New Jersey - Jon Bon Jovi.
The phrase "this town" recurs throughout the album, and it's always receding into the distance as The Killers escape to a new life. "This town was made for passing through/I never did get along with everybody else," sings Brandon on This River Is Wild. On Read My Mind he "never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town", while on the title track he offers something of an explanation: "Nobody ever had a dream round here."
"With the first record, there was this feeling that there was this world out there that we didn't know," says Mark later in the day. Before The Killers, he studied philosophy: now he's their quiet one. "We wanted to get out and away from this and be somewhere else. We hadn't had a lot of experience - hadn't travelled much - then we were gone for three years. We didn't sit down and say that we wanted to make a record about how we're glad to be home, but that's what happened naturally."
It's not an angsty record. The Killers have already escaped with Hot Fuss, and, having done so, they view the experience fondly now they're back. There's a mistiness to Brandon's eyes as he explains how the album got it's name.
"Sam's Town is a casino on the edge of Vegas," he says. "I grew up in Henderson, which is out on the way to the Hoover Dam. My mom and dad lived in a trailer park, and my dad used to hitchhike up and down Boulder Highway, which is the only way you could get to Vegas. Sam's Town was the first thing you saw on your way in to town. So, when you're driving down Boulder Highway from Henderson, I always thought you finally knew you were getting somewhere when you saw Sam's Town. It was kind of like a beacon."
"It's not a completely American album," contines Brandon. "We still have our English influence, but we're also from the Wild West. Somehow we've managed to unify all that on this album. it's just such a perfect resemblence of what we are."
At the petrol station, Brandon rummages through the glove box looking for change to buy a lighter. "This is a great album," he says, pointing at Highway Companion, the latest from iconic American rocker Tom Petty. "I've always been a big fan of his. He's such a great American artist."
Yes, Brandon: we get the point.
+
When Brandon finally lights his cigarette, he smokes it awkwardly, like a child mimicking something he's seen the grown-ups doing. However, when he cheerfully admits that, "I feel the same mentally as I did when I was 12," it's not a knowing nod to the fact that he sometimes behaves like a loveably precocious child, but a reference to an unusually comprehensive grounding in pop music at an early age.
When Brandon sings about "this town", he doesn't mean Las Vegas. He means Nephi, Utah or Henderson, Nevada, where he spent his childhood. His parents are Mormon and he is the youngest of six children. "I was a surprise," he says. "I've got a 42-year-old sister." If he was issues about his "surprise" status, he chooses to gloss over them. "It turned out perfect because my brother was a teenager when I was a kid," he says. "He would bring home things like Rattle And Hum by U2 and I would watch it. I remember he bought Live In Dallas by Morrissey. It was always him watching these things, or his door was shut and you'd hear The Head On The Door by The Cure blasting through the house and rattling the walls."
The Killers were formed when Brandon answered an advert Dave had placed in a local paper in late 2002. Dave cited Oasis as a big influence; Brandon had seen them play recently and responded; and, as Dave has said in previous interviews: "He was the only person to reply to my ad who wasn't a complete freak." However, the band was born in Brandon's brothers bedroom.
"His room was like a shrine," enthuses Brandon. "It was a holy place. I wish I could show you a picture of it. It was covered in posters. There'd be a big picture of Elvis wearing a bow tie that just said 'The Smiths' [the artwork for The Smiths 1987 single Shoplifters Of The World Unite]. You had The Cure wearing face paint [the artwork to The Cure's 1985 single In Between Days] - all that kind of stuff. I remember Morrissey being on the cover of the NME, with the halo [from 1985] - stuff like that. You just wanted to know about these people 'cause they were so cool. My brother seemed like such a cool person. But he was a teenager, so he wasn't going to be that nice to me, a kid."
Brandon was fascinated by his brother's collection of music, magazines and posters, but he was denied access to them - officially, at least. "I would sneak in," he says. "I knew he'd be angry if he found out, but I would go in as soon as he left the house." For a long time Brandon was too scared to actually play anything. "That didn't come 'til later. I just used to go in there because I liked it. Then I got to the point where I'd actually take a tape out and put it in. It took more guts to do that."
It was a life-changing moment. "I was ten and the first song I played was Sing Your Life by Morrissey. I remember dancing about to it."
The lyrics to Sing Your Life include the lines, "Sing your life/Just walk right up to the microphone/And name all the things that you love/All the things that you loathe." It's intriguing to wonder what Morrissey makes of the neophyte he inspired with these lines.
Eventually, Brandon inherited his brother's tape collection. "It was around the same time CDs started coming out in a big way. He started buying CDs and gave me his tapes. And that was it: it took off from there. I got a hundred of the best albums - all the New Order, all the Morrissey, all The Smiths, The Beatles. I started buying posters. I went to see The Cure in concert. It was just kind of a continuation of my brother. And it was nice because, though my parents were strict, they were already used to it from him. There was no, 'My dad doesn't understand me,' or any of that kind of stuff. My mum likes The Smiths."
Brandon was 13 and his favourite band was late-'70s/early-'80s American new wavers The Cars, and particularly their jaw-droppingly catchy 1979 single Just What I Needed.
"I wouldn't exist without that song," he says. "That was the one. I remember driving around with my mum when I was 13, and we're living in Nephi - a really small town - and I felt so cool when I put that song on. Like: 'I have something that none of these kids I'm going to middle school with tomorrow have.' That excitement is what music's about, isn't it? That's why I understand the mentality of people that don't like us because we've sold so many records. I used to like it when no one else knew about a band. So I get that - I do."
+
Brandon's first band was called Blush Response. It was never going to work out. Not because he refused to move to Los Angeles with them, but because he is utterly - comically - shameless. He's given to making outrageously boastful statements like: "It's not like the '60s, '70s and '80s now. There are only a few bands around that are really good, that just do it. I mean, there's what, five or six of us?"
For the record, in Brandon's estimation, those bands are Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and, of course, The Killers.
"I don't want people to think I'm lumping myself with other people just to make us sound cool," he says. Really? It sort of sounds like you are. But he just steamrolls through it. "Yeah, but you know what I mean," he says, grinning at his own cheekiness. He's so disgracefully forward you can't help but laugh along with him - Oh you are awful, Brandon! But joking aside, The Killers are the most commercially successful of all the bands he mentions.
Later, back at the rehearsal space, the band run through Sam's Town at deafening volume in preparation for the forthcoming tour - first the US, then the world. The infectious, almost contagious, chorus of When You Were Young sounds fabulous, as do the U2-like guitars and Twin Peaks synths of Read My Mind. Meanwhile, Smile Like You Mean It and Somebody Told Me benefit from the newfound harder edge.
They somewhat heavy-handedly underline the new direction by playing Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Get It On by T Rex. That's the thing: The Killers are not a subtle band. Their songs are like a wet kiss from a girl who's a bit too drunk. They are big and brash, and not everyone loves them for it. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me might go down as well at hip nightclubs as they do on the festival circuit, but the DJs play them with the same guilty look they wear when playing a pop record.
"I hate that," says Brandon. "Like writing a song you can hum somehow cheapens it? It makes me think of this quote by Morrissey. Everybody knows how he read Oscar Wilde, Keats and Yates when he was growing up and that he wanted to be a writer. He was talking to this journalist who asked why he hadn't become a writer, and Morrissey said: 'What I do is more powerful than what you do because I can write down these words and you get it to a melody. How can you beat that?' I'm of the same opinion. I don't understand why a good melody that's memorable is a bad thing."
Being dismissed as pop particular aggrieves Ronnie. "When we first came out we got compared to Duran Duran all the time. Jesus Christ! We got a keyboard player now all of a sudden he's Nick Rhodes! Come on!"
"The people who criticise us for being too poppy don't get it," agrees Mark. "I think that's the problem with a lot of rock music. People are afraid to write a song any more. Either that or they can't. And that attitude hurts music in general. The best bands ever have all written great songs. You can still do it and do it intelligently and it can be original. This isn't a studio creation with a producer writing these songs for us. We're not Avril Lavigne, or something like that. We're a real band writing real songs, just like a punk band would do, except that we write pop songs."
You get the impression that The Killers knack for showboating pop hooks that border on vulgar is inextricably tied up with the brazen side of Brandon's personality. But while his ebullient charisma, not to mention the songs themselves, mitigates his outrageousness, there is a less attractive side to his ego. He has a combative streak. He can't resist taking pot shots at emo bands, notably Fall Out Boy, whith whom The Killers share an A&R man.
Has he heard how many emo kids it takes to change a light bulb? "No." None. They just sit in the dark and cry. It's a full 30 seconds before he stops laughing. When he does he admits: "Yeah, we've had problems with other bands. You know, when you walk in the room it's like..." He whistles the theme to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. "We're like gangs."
And while the other members of the band are diplomatic on the subject of Brandon, you don't have to read too deeply between the lines to conclude that there have been internal issues, too.
"Some people will think Brandon's the big genius," says Dave, visibly bridling. "There are songs, such as Why Do I Keep Counting?, where he's written every note. But there are others, like When You Were Young, that were more of a collaboration - like Mr Brightside, where I had some of the music and Brandon came up with the lyrics. We always have arguments about who wrote what. The truth is that we all help in that process."
When asked how success affected them, Ronnie says: "There were certain things that needed adjusting. When you're on tour for two years, people can get a little needy. It doesn't help that you're surrounded by yes men and everybody's working for you. At times we've had to say, 'Who do you think you are?' to people. No one wears the trousers, but some people would like to. I think if it wasn't for the people in the band kicking each other in the ass... Let's just say there was some ass-kickin'."
It doesn't take a genius to work out whose ass needed kicking most often.
+
It's the following day and The Killers are back at their rehearsal space. The topic of discussion is what to wear in the video for Bones, the second single. It's a big deal: the director is Tim Burton. "I feel like Frank Sinatra when I sing it," announces Brandon. "With maybe a little bit of Morrissey and a little bit of Elvis, too."
Of course he does. But if securing the services of Tim Burton tells you one thing, it's that The Killers are about to get even bigger, perhaps even make the leap to the same level as Coldplay et al. Already stars, they are about to become superstars. Brandon can hardly wait.
"Do you know that Rolling Stone didn't want to put us on the cover last time," he says indignantly. "They didn't think we were stars. We sold five million albums! What more do they want from a band?"
Whatever was required, Brandon would be happy to do most things. "I'll do stuff that some people don't want to do, 'cause I want people to hear the music," he says. However, even he has limits. "The Rolling Stone thing made the record label think: 'What can we do to make them stars?' If I go on vacation with my wife, do they have to send somebody to be there to take pictures of me? Is that how you become a star? I don't want that. I walked down the red carpet one time and I realised I don't like it. But you don't have to walk down the red carpet for people to hear your music. We do still have some of that indie blood running through our veins."
He heads off at a tangent: "When you walk around Liverpool, you think of The Beatles, or you go to Manchester and you think of The Smiths or Oasis. I want you to come to Las Vegas and think of Sam's Town. And I think we've started to capture that, which is a truer version of The Killers, 'cause that's where we're from."
He pauses.
"I used to live across the street from Sam's Town. Maybe it'll be like our Abbey Road where people go to take pictures."
Is that what he'd like?
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, desperately hoping it will come true.
He puts a cigarette between his lips, looks down at his trouser pockets and pats them in search of the lighter he bought yesterday.
"Hey, I don't suppose you've got one?"

So recently the Royal family had a piece of artwork done of King Charles lII. This piece of art is going around the internet gaining all kinds of controversy. I see a lot of people interpret the red/magenta color of this art as a meaning for blood, which it very well could be. But blood isn't quite so vibrant like the Magenta color we see in the painting.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C68_S5iMWZg/?igsh=MXV5bTljaWh1cXoxYw==
Notice there are also small spots of orange as well. I believe this painting is a symbol of the incoming EMPCOE reset event.
The red/magenta/orange colors symbolize the color of the skies during the EMPCOE event when it occurs. The butterfly is a symbol of transformation because of the shift from caterpillar to butterfly. The EMPCOE reset is also a transformative event because it is the beginning and the end of all life on earth. If you read the caption on the post it even says the butterfly is a symbol of transformation.
Check out the trailer for the new movie "I saw the TV Glow"
https://youtu.be/kymDzCgPwj0?si=p5tA9QCQqb3r5MKi
I have been seeing all kinds of mentions of "The beginning of the end" all over the place lately or other variations of that same phrase. This is all very fascinating to me because there is a long running conspiracy in the game Cyberpunk 2077 which involves a hex code that translates to the color Magenta. People can't figure out what is so significant about the color Magenta.
See this post https://www.reddit.com/FF06B5/s/aJV3xxaa4I
Magenta is technically the beginning and the end of the color wheel. Magenta is also the color of transformation/ ascension. Magenta is also the color the sky will be during the EMPCOE.
Mark Zuckerberg was recently seen on his 40th birthday with Bill Gates wearing a shirt that says Carthago Delenda Est which translates to "Carthage must be destroyed". This is quite odd because this is basically Zuckerberg being cryptic and hinting toward destruction soon. l'm sure you guys have heard about the bunker he's building as well as many other celebrities and rich elites.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C69aOWwO4nM/?igsh=MTRuaWJ6NHJ5b3E2ZQ==
It's funny to me that Bill Gates was with Zuckerberg.
After seeing that post I then saw Kim Kardashian received some gifts from Michael Rubin for the yearly All White party on July 4th. If you don't know about the All White parties, please do yourself a favor and look them up. All those people are involved with the worst kind of corruption you can imagine. And guess what? Bill Gates daughter Phoebe Gates is good friends with Meek Mill and Michael Rubin.
I have a post about this here
https://www.reddit.comtherealalian/s/dBMccmHFOO
Michael rubin is close with the Kardashians and Hiltons. The Hiltons are directly connected to the Rothschilds through Paris Hiltons sister Nicky. All of these people are connected, from Bill Gates to Zuckerberg to the Kardashians to the Hiltons to the Rothschilds to Michael Rubin and all the celebrities who associate with the people he associates with. It's a fucking huge club and all of these people have been hinting toward some kind of "transformative event" coming soon, to my understanding.
What a world.
Oh yeah more solar flares are on the way and I'd like to casually remind everyone that there is a giant hole in the sun that the mainstream news is hardly mentioning. 👍🌞
In the coming weeks I expect more solar flares and more pink/red/magenta aurora all over the earth. I also expect more insane storms/floods, as well as earthquakes and volcanic activity. As the earth's electromagnetic field weakens we can expect to see an increase of supernatural/ unexplainable phenomenon both mentally and physically.
https://youtu.be/02h2TNaVDZ4?si=zQkhmJWNPJ7swTy-
If anyone wants to save their electronics from an EMP blast or solar flare, you should invest in some Faraday cloth or bags or cages. This will protect all your electronics that you keep inside of the Faraday.

Looking for this song performance I saw on YouTube many years ago. It’s a sweet love song by an acoustic band and they play in some sort of studio with a small orchestra — mostly stringed instruments, I think, but may have been some brass too.
The room is chaotic and super-crowded with musicians and the video isn’t staged in any intentional way. The song starts off with just acoustic guitar, with a catchy melody — if I remember correctly, many of the lyrics are in second-person, past tense (“You were…”). Over the course, the other instruments fill in and the song builds to a swelling climax. Very catchy, warm, slightly humorous song, some quirky lyrics in English.
Sounds a little bit like Pomplamoose, but I think it might even predate them. Also has a little bit of Mumford & Sons, but with more lightness and humor. I remember hearing that the name of the band was actually some kind of rude phrase in the UK and that the band were somewhat controversial because of that (and may have also changed their name?). Pretty sure the band itself was American or Canadian.
The name of the band and/or song may have been something like Elbow Room or Hungry Buttons or something like that. (Here, I am really starting to plumb the deep recesses of my memory.)

Introduction

ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION, Zepp Tokyo for \"Quarter-Century Tour\"

^(\This article is an updated version of my "Sound Like" article from 2021. I have reposted this article due to difficulties editing the original version*, and have included additional information and recommendations based on the increased popularity of amp simulator pedals*)*

Hello fellow musicians and Ajikan fans!
I have been a fan of ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION for roughly 16 years and as a guitarist was greatly inspired by the band's alt rock sound.
After a few years of research I have written a series of "sound like" articles for ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION. The purpose of these articles is to provide context on how the band create their signature sound, and to support beginning musicians or tribute acts who may wish to replicate it.
At the end of each article I have drafted a Budget Rig, which you could use for both at home and in a live environment. I have also provided some general amp settings to tweak and try, which are based on the band's live sound and be can used to help replicate their tones.
This is a 3-part series and if you enjoy this article I would recommend checking out the other articles:
Sound Like ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Pt.2: Kensuke Kita (2024 version) : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 3: Yamada : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)

^{Please note that the article focuses on the band's live sound, which will be different to the albums and can vary depending on the venue. Also (and is a cliché} every musician and instrument will have small differences, so bear that in mind!)

To help you recognise the individual guitar tones, Gotch's guitar parts are normally panned to the left earphone and Kita's are panned to the right earphone on the band's albums. (On 2016's Sol-Fa, Hometown and some of the Planet Folks singles the panning was swapped, with Gotch instead in the right ear and Kita on the left)

Masafumi Gotoh

Gotch live at the 02 Islington, London, 2013
Let's start off with lead singer and rhythm guitarist Masafumi Gotoh, or "Gotch" for short. Gotch's was massively influenced by the 90's alternative rock, Power Pop and the Britpop scene, and has previously highlighted Oasis, Weezer and Number Girl as key inspirations.
As Ajikan's main songwriter, Gotch follows the principle of "less is more" - keeping the arrangements simple for listeners, but combining pop hooks & traditional Asian melodies with the band's punk rock and indie influences.
Gotch's playing style follows this principle, as he primarily uses chord shapes, bar chords or repeated phrases to anchor the band. (The simple approach also makes it easier for Gotch to sing while performing)
Occasionally, Gotch will use "octave chords" (more on octave chords below) or play riffs with open strings notes, to add further depth. A good example of this is the opening riffs to Easter, where he plays an open D string while also playing the 3rd and 5th fret of the A string.

^{Octave Chords: Octave chords is famously used in punk rock and alt rock riffs, and is when you play the same note in two different octaves. Try play a bar chord on the 4th fret of the A string, and lifting your ring finger off the D string. You should get a "C# octave chord" and will recognise it from the intro of Haruka Kanata. Octave chords are used in many Ajikan songs and by many bands, so they are good to practice!}

In more recent albums, Gotch has also experimented with moving chord shapes across the fretboard. For good examples, check out the opening of Caterpillar or the bridge section of Kouya Wo Aruke.
Gotch's guitar tends to be lower in the overall mix, with Kita acting as the band's lead guitarist and Gotch as the anchor for each song. However, Gotch tends to improvise with ambient sounds during live performances and occasionally will take on the lead role in songs like Hold Me Tight.

GUITARS:

When it comes to guitars Gotch almost exclusively plays Gibson Les Paul Jr's with P-90 pickups, and has been his preferred guitar since 2004. The P-90 pickups have a bright midrange sound in comparison to the muddier humbucker sound, which makes them better suited for Gotch's focus on chords.
Gotch main guitar is the 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special
The Les Paul Jr is also lighter and have less sustain and power compared to a normal Les Paul, which leaves space for the other instruments to stand out in the mix.
Gotch's main guitar is a 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special, which he plays in E Standard tuning and uses for both recording and live performances. Gotch also uses a 1961 Gibson Les Paul Jr (with the pickguard missing) or a 2000 Gibson Les Paul DC (with a gloss yellow finish) for songs in Eb/D# tuning, such as After Dark or Soredewa, Mata Ashita.
Gotch's is also famous for using a 1975 Gibson Marauder during the band's early years. Gotch has mostly retired the guitar (due to the "lack of volume" for larger venues), but it regularly appears in MV's, band merchandise and occasionally during special events, such as the 10th anniversary shows in Yokohama.
Gotch's Gibson Marauder
Gotch occasionally uses a few rarer guitars live, such as the Gibson Custom Les Paul Junior John Lennon model (Gotch has number 54 of 300 such guitars made), and is normally played with a capo for songs such as Maigo Inu To Ame No Beat.
Gotch has also used a Gibson Hummingbird for acoustic numbers, and can be seen used in Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 for the band's performance of Kaigan Doori. Gotch likes to use Tortex Flex .88mm & Tortex Flex Triangle .88mm guitar picks, which he swaps between depending on the song.
If you are looking to sound like Gotch, the best place to start would be a Les Paul Jr guitar with P-90 pickups.

AMPLIFIERS:

After originally touring with a Roland JC-22, Gotch has almost exclusively played Fender amplifiers since 2004. Gotch uses two amps when playing live, one for his "clean" sound and the other for his "heavy" sound.
The band's often implement a "quiet/loud" dynamic into their song writing, so Gotch will often switch between his amps during live performances, using a custom made footswitch on his pedalboard. (A good example of this is Mustang or Solanin)
For his clean tone, Gotch uses a Fender 65' Twin Custom Twin 15. It can be heard on Korogaru Iwa, Kimi ni Asa Ga Furu, Solanin and Wonder Future. Occasionally, Gotch will combine the Twin Reverb with a boost pedal or overdrive pedal for more clarity, with Wonder Future a good examples of this.
(1) Fender '65 Twin Custom 15 (clean tone), (2) Fender Vibro-King Custom, (3) Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head (which uses the Vibro-King as a speaker), (4) Fender '63 Spring Reverb (which runs in between the pedal board and the Super-Sonic 60, and is toggled on or off by a switch)
For his heavier tone, Gotch primarily uses a Fender Vibro-King Custom for recording and appears in most of the band's MV's. The Vibro-King/Twin Reverb was Gotch's main setup during the 2000's and can be seen together on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol. 6.
In 2009 Gotch started to use a Fender Super-Sonic 60 Amp Head and still uses it now. Until 2022, Gotch would use Vibro-King as a "cabinet", acting as the speaker unit for the Super-Sonic. Gotch now uses a Shinos & L Rocket Head for live shows, but has kept the Vibro-king for recording sessions and MVs.
Since 2022 Gotch has used Shinos & L Rocket amp & cabinet instead of the Fender Vibro-King
Gotch "heavy" amps for songs such as Re:Re:, Haruka Kanata and Rewrite. It is important to note that Gotch prefers to use his amps to create his distorted tone, but will occasionally add an overdrive pedal for heavier tracks such as Blood Circulator & Easter.
Alongside the Twin Reverb and Super-Sonic, Gotch is known to use a Fender 63' Spring Reverb Unit. This unit only runs into the Super-Sonic and is used for additional reverb to "thicken the sound". Gotch can control the 63' Reverb with a on/off switch on his pedal board.
Other notable amps that Gotch has used are the Matchless C30 & Bad Cat 30R Head. Both have been used exclusively for recording, most notably on Wonder Future. Gotch is also known to use VOX AC15 amps for recording.
Gotch's '63 Spring Reverb Unit, along with a selection of Vortex Flex .88m picks

In terms of mics, Gotch seems to use a Shure SM57 for his Fender Twin Reverb and a Shure SM58 on his Vibro-King or Shinos Rocket. When you are trying to emulate his sound with modelling or profiling amps, it is worth experimenting with mic positioning and different mics.

If you want to replicate Gotch's amp sound then you should look to replicate his Fender amps. However the Vibro-King is a key component and are unfortunately rare, notoriously loud and expensive. For that reason, I have put together some alternatives that should get you close.

PEDALS & EFFECTS:

During Ajikan's early years, Gotch combined a Roland JC-22 with a ProCo RAT to create the "quiet/loud" dynamic of the band's early records. After buying the Fender Vibro-King in 2004, Gotch no longer required the RAT, but kept a simplified pedalboard to achieve certain tones for live performances.
Gotch's 2004 pedalboard, which includes the ProCo RAT and Ibanez TS9 Tube Screamer
We will cover two different pedalboards that Gotch has used during the band's career. Regardless of which pedal board you look at, Gotch's has always included an overdrive or boost pedal, a phase pedal and a delay pedal.
The boost/overdrive is used to "lift" his clean sound during ballads (Solanin, Wonder Future) or to thicken his sound for heavier tracks. (Senseless, Dororo) Gotch will normally set the drive or gain low and the volume high.
The phaser is a more sparingly used pedal to add texture and colour, but can be heard on Shinkokyū, Blue Train and Rewrite. I will include more detail on Gotch's use of delay in the sections below.
Gotch's "Classic" Pedalboard
Gotch \"classic\" pedalboard, used between 2006-2013, with Gotch's custom made footswitch on the bottom left to control the amps
Gotch started to use this "classic" board during the Fanclub tour and continued to do so until the 10th Anniversary shows in 2013. This would be the easier and more affordable board to replicate for newcomers.
Gotch's setup started with a BOSS TU-3 tuner, which he also used as a "mute" pedal in between songs. From there, his chain would run into the Ibanez TS808 Tube Screamer, the BOSS PH-2 Super Phaser and the BOSS DD-20 Giga Delay. During the Magic Disk tour, Gotch also added a Custom Audio Tremolo.

^{The BOSS DD-20} *^{has been Gotch's main delay pedal for twenty years and is set to "warp". On the warp setting, Gotch can keep his foot on the pedal to create swells of delays. Gotch's standard setting is 173-179bpm (beats per minute} on 1/4 notes and then he has 4 presets. These are 137bpm on 1/4 (for) ^Blackout, 154bpm on 1/4 (for) ^{Kakato de Ai o Uchinarase}, 177 on 1/2 (for) ^{Solanin and the intro of Siren} and 177bpm on 1/4 (for the 2nd half of) ^Siren)

Gotch also included two footswitches for his board; The first one was a handmade footswitch, which he used to swap between the Twin Reverb and the Vibro-King/Super-Sonic. The other footswitch was a BOSS FS-5L, which he used to control the '63 Spring Reverb Unit.
Gotch's "Modern" Pedalboard
Gotch's \"modern\" pedal board.【Pedal List】(1) api/TranZformer GT (compressoequalizer) (2) BOSS/TU-3 (tuner) (3) Spaceman Effects/Atlas III (preamp) (4) BOSS/DD-6 (delay) (5) Spaceman Effects/Voyager I (tremolo) (6) EarthQuaker Devices/Avalanche Run (delay/reverb) (7) Mu-Tron/Mu-FX Phasor 2X (phaser) (8) Caroline Guitar Company/KILOBYTE (9) BOSS/DD-20 (delay) (10) Handmade/Line Selector (11) FAT/514.D (booster)(12) strymon/Zuma R300 (power supply) (13)BOSS/EV-30 (Expression Pedal) (14) BOSS/FS-5L (foot switch)
During the recording of Wonder Future and his first solo album (Can't Be Forever Young), Gotch began to experiment more with boutique pedals, and has resulted in a more complex board since 2014, allowing more ambient experiments on the band's records and during live performances.
Gotch has added a API Tranzformer GT to the start of his chain, only using the E.Q. section and tweaking the settings for each venue.
Gotch's "Modern" board now includes a variety of delay and reverb pedals, such as the Earthquaker Device Avalanche Run and the Caroline Kilobyte Lo-Fi Delay. These are combined with his DD-20 to create the ambient sounds heard on Empathy & the outro of Demachiyanagi Parallel Universe.
The BOSS DD-6 Digital Delay is set to the "reverse" mode and is used during the intro of Re:Re: and the bridge of Rewrite. Gotch has removed the Tube-Screamer from his board and has experimented with multiple alternative pedals, which includes the Xotic Effects AC Plus and JHS Superbolt.
He currently uses the Atlas III Preamp Booster and the FAT 514.D for his overdrive sounds. The 514.D only runs to the Super-Sonic to help "thicken" the distorted tone of the Super-Sonic.
Gotch has also replaced the Super Phaser with the MU-FX Phasor 2x and is using a Voyager I Spaceman for his tremolo. (UCLA & No Name are good references for the tremolo) Finally, Gotch has added an BOSS EV-30 expression pedal, which he uses to control the delay of the Avalanche Run.
If you are looking to replicate Gotch's pedalboard, the best place to start would be a phaser, delay and a boost/overdrive pedal, which would cover most of Ajikan's Discography.

Sound Like Gotch...On a Budget

Now that you are up to speed on what Gotch uses for his guitar rig, we can start to look at replicating his sound. The idea of this section is to offer affordable suggestions to replicate Gotch's tone that can be used for home use and for small live venues.
I would like to highlight that I am just writing as a fan and the equipment I recommend are purely my own recommendations. I do not have any sponsors (I wish I did sometimes) and if you find alternatives that work for you, go for it!
Gotch performing in 2022, during the Quarter Century shows in Yokohama
To buy Gotch's current pedal board alone would cost roughly £2,500 and would be unrealistic for most readers to purchase, however there are options that can get us close to Gotch's tone without breaking the bank.
The key elements to this rig are:

• A Gibson style guitar with P-90 pickups
• A Fender amp with decent distortion
• A Tube-Screamer style overdrive
• A flexible Delay pedal

Let's start with the guitar, which is both important for the P-90 tone. You should always feel comfortable when playing the guitar you pick, so I recommend trying out the guitar when possible before buying.
GUITARS
As an affordable guitar, I would suggest looking at the Epiphone Les Paul Jr. It is the entry level price for Gibson guitars (Epiphone would be the equivalent to "Squier" for Fender) and includes P-90 pickups as the standard setup. You can buy one for around £380 and should also be fairly easy to modify & similar to Gotch's sound.
Epiphone Les Paul Junior
If you do have a higher budget to work with, I would recommend the Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC. These were released in 2019 and you can normally find a 2nd hand version for roughly £650 - £800. (It is also the guitar I currently use!) Failing that, you can also look at the Gibson Les Paul Special for around £800.
Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC
AMPLIFIERS
We are looking to replicate Gotch's Fender amps, so the affordable option to start with would be the Fender Mustang GTX. The newer Mustang amps are an improvement on the original and have simulations of the Twin Reverb, the Vibro-King and the Super-Sonic.
The GTX 50 (which has a smaller speaker) is roughly £390 and the GTX 100 (which includes a footswitch) is about £510, but you should be able to find both versions for a reduced cost second hand.
Fender Mustang GTX 100
If you do have a higher budget or prefer to use a tube amp, I would recommend going for the Fender Super-Sonic Combo or the Fender Hot Rod Deluxe for a solid distorted Fender tone.
Alternatively, you could consider the Fender Blues Junior, Fender Tone Master Twin-Reverb or Roland JC, and combine them with a ProCo RAT to replicate the tones from Houkai Amplifier and Kimi Tsunagi Five M.
PEDALS
To keep the list of suggestions short and simple, we will use Gotch's "classic" board as a reference and will cover most of the band's discography.
For a budget rig, I would recommend the Ibanez Tube-Screamer Mini, which is a miniature version of the standard Ibanez Tube-Screamer and sound great for the price. You could pair this up with a Boss Phase Shifter and a BOSS DD-6 Delay for around £309 brand new to get a very similar Gotch board. (You could buy them for as low as £110 combined on the 2nd hand market)
The Tube Screamer Mini is a cheap, effective overdrive pedal based on the classic TS808
For a more expensive pedalboard, the JHS Superbolt V2 was used by Gotch extensively between 2015-2019 and was once described by Gotch as "the Ajikan sound" on his blog. You could also buy the TS808 Tube Screamer that Gotch actually used for many years or the JHS Bonsai 9 which emulates multiple tube screamers.
For modulation sounds (phase, tremolo) the AmpliTube X-Vibe is one of many great multi-effect pedal on the market. If you have the money for it, you could buy a BOSS DD-20 second hand or the BOSS DD-200 to emulate Gotch's delay sound.
If you decided to go with the Mustang GTX, you would also have a selection of effects built into the amp.
THE TONE MASTER PRO? (and amp simulators)
As a final recommendation, Fender have recently released the Tone Master Pro (TMP), which is a multi effects and amp simulator.
It can be used as a device for home recording, but also as multi effects pedal in front of a standard amp or as your main amplifier when played through a IR cabinet. (I'll go into more detail in a bit!) The TMP are not cheap at £1400, so I would only advise buying one if you plan to use it as your main amp and effects board.
If you have the budget and was starting your rig from scratch I would consider checking it out, as it includes great simulations of the Twin Reverb and Vibro-King. They are also easy to transport & the Fender IR cabinets only weigh 12.5kg. (For comparison, my VOX AC15 weighs 30kg and is a nightmare to transport for shows)
The TMP is Fender's first amp simulator pedal and from what I understand the Quad Cortex DSP, the Line 6 Helix series and the Headrush Pedalboard are more popular choices. However, for the purpose of "sounding like Gotch", I would start with the TMP for its Fender selection and simplicity
The Fender Tone Master Pro can be used to simulate multiple amps & as a pedalboard for live performances

^{If you decide to buy a Amp Simulator Pedal, there are 3 common ways to use it for band practices & live settings. (Outside of just using headphones or running straight to front of house at a venue:
Option 1: Only use the effects on the Amp Simulator and run it into a standard amp .}** ^{(Make sure to not use the cabinets settings within the pedal when doing this. You could still use the amp settings, however they may clash with the physical amps and do not always sound great
Option 2: Use the Amp Simulator as your main amp and combining with a standard guitar cabinet. In order to do this, you will need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run in between the amp simulator and the guitar cabinet. (Otherwise you will not have any volume or oomph when you play through the cabinet}\*)*
^{Option 3: Buy a IR Cabinet. The difference between this and Option 2 is that you would not need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run into the speaker. The Fender FR-10/12 & Line 6 Powercab are good examples.}

Recommended Amp Settings

The following amp settings are based on photos gathered from live performances or from photos of Gotch's social media. Every amp will slightly differ based on your guitar or playing style, so you may need to tweak with your settings to find the right blend.
My personal advice is to not put the gain too high and to start with getting the treble and bass settings where you feel comfortable, before tweaking the mids. The P-90s have a strong midrange attack, so bear that in mind as well.
Gotch's Vibro-King and Super-Sonic
Fender '65 Twin Custom 15:
(Plugged into Vibrato 1) Vol: 3, Treble: 3.5-4, Mid: 6.5, Bass: 3.5
Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head:
Channel 1: Vol: 3.5, Treble: 4-4.5, Bass: 5
Channel 2: Vintage setting ON, Gain 1: 4, Gain 2: 0, Treble: 5-5.5, Bass: 4.5-5, Mid: 5.5, Vol: 5.5-6
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as cabinet):
Plug into the speaker input at the back of the amp, with FAT switch on.
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as amplifier):
(FAT ON) Vol: 3, Treble: 4.5, Bass: 4, Mid: 5.5 (Based on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 settings)
OR
(FAT ON) Vol: 4.5 Treble: 4 Bass: 5 Mid: 4.5
Shinos & L Rocket Head:
Gain: 7, Treble: 8, Bass: 3, Reverb: 0, Master: 7

Conclusion

I hope this has been helpful for you guys, as it has been on my bucket list for some time! Please provide some feedback as it is always appreciated and if you would like more details about the effect settings let me know.

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I am sitting in one of the disused but quite beautiful parts of the neighborhood, waiting for it to rain.
The rain has already come and gone, a light rain that left traces of dampness on the pavement – the shade of the spring day darkens, becomes real, which is a comfort because that realness, that feeling of extra substance, comes from the water cycle working the way it's supposed to.
I feel it around my nostrils, on the cheeks of my face near the eyes, like I'm a frog looking up from its pond water, which is a pleasant feeling to sashay around town with. This is the spring we all know, the moisture appearing on my skin after drifting miles above the earth ten minutes earlier –
an epic plunge is what we are walking through, but it's already rising again, and let's face it – we live in a cook pot set on media, I mean medium – medium is the setting on the cook pot, which notice is more than a crock. From the frog’s point of view, it is ideal.
From our point of view, standing in the chop of the water cycle, we are soaring in the air – then minutes from now, we might be walking in the clouds, and who knows after that, but this is the context for comings and goings this mid-afternoon – this potential for levitation.
I find a broad and elegant tree stump to sit on and record the concrete. Someday we'll all have concrete recorders but today, we just have me.
The stumps are not indigenous to the property, at least I don't think so, but I'm not exactly sure why I don't think that, given that the facility that occupies the block was once probably a forest with abundant marshy places. The forest went, then some infrastructural evolution played out that upcycled into a world-class performing arts center.
Given that my art, before it is anything, is performative – watch the monkey paint words with a stick – I'm hand-in-glove with the performance of the plaza.
I am sitting in a grove of tree stumps, which automatically brings to mind entropy – we all will die someday, become handsome all-weather furniture that slowly disintegrates – but then the overwhelming pleasantness of the day causes the thought to move on, and the stumps become a moment in time that is also a cross-section of full biography, which is quite a thing to be sitting on, waiting for the rain.
The forecast, which I predict would be one of the more impressive modern achievements to the humans who lived through the ice age – just an opinion – the forecast –
I picture ice-age human faces in stunned wonder as weather prediction after weather prediction comes true. The forecast
says there is a one-hundred percent chance of rain later this afternoon, time precise to the quarter hour, but with Doppler weather radar, one can make one's own data-driven prediction about when the rain will start to the nearest few minutes.
Someday we'll wear watches that are nothing but countdown clocks ’til the next time the forecast calls for rain – when the clock reaches the nearest minute, it switches to seconds.
This broad, elegant stump I'm sitting on sets on a bed of gravel which, when it rains, can convince me it is river gravel – pick up a few of the rounded stones, give them a close look for evidence of the past. I briefly imagine
finding the remains of a sauropod, each piece of gravel containing a tiny piece of a single sauropod, which together add up to the most complete sauropod skeleton yet discovered.
The stump is all take and no give, and yet I think I prefer it to popping open a lawn chair – the imperviousness of the stump being conducive to recording the concrete.
My backside is about eighty-years wide, which is older than my age, which inspires thoughts about backing into predestination, at least where just sitting around on a fine spring day is concerned. Like a bump on a log in a way, and let's face it – the concrete doesn't get much more concrete than that. A splashing sound
comes from the page. I scan the paper like it’s the sky, and I'm waiting for an aerial firework to open, then I find the spot of rain splashed across the phrase think so – think so, is the phrase – which is followed by a second raindrop, this one hitting the word water, causing the ink to run a little.
A one-hundred percent chance – does that even make sense? I picture a barrel of rain, rolling across the plains. Perhaps we should feel lucky for being visited by such a probability – possibly years before it rolls around again.
Rain will undoubtedly fall at this time, we say to our ice-age guests, and they will hold up the one hand like it's rain, hold up the other like it's time, weigh the two sides side-by-side maybe, maybe invent that gesture where the dancer holds both palms above their heads, lifts them up and down like they're raising the roof.
Still, I'm not sure they'll really understand all those computer models, hypotheses wrapping themselves around big-data projects involving sensors and rain gauges deployed across the land, starting centuries ago. Science raised the roof, we might say, at least as far as weather prediction is concerned.
I sense the rain not exactly letting up, retreat to the interior of the performing arts center after taking a few notes.
Along part of the gravel is a long puddle of water from the overnight rain, and I would need but a few fish bones or raccoon tracks to believe the whole thing was situated beside a river, the sort of gravel bed surging with snow melt earlier in the season.
This being the Midwest, higher elevations are usually metaphorical, metaphorical before they are anything else, and I think about the campus surging with graduates this past weekend, the landscape of human potential, in all directions, inundated by them.
Inside now, I see a balloon bouquet along one wall of the concourse, with gold Mylar affirmation – The Best Is Yet to Come! – floating on the end of a ribbon.
A one-hundred percent chance of rain – imagine telling all those graduates, you have a one-hundred percent chance of finding love within a fortnight. Call it a graduation gift, then imagine all those rain gauges quivering in their brackets at the thought of measurements certain to be made, collated, used to improve the algorithms that animate the global gods of rain.
At the far end of the concourse, a lady is teaching a gentleman how to dance – they aren’t touching, aren’t even facing each other – side-by-side – and I hear her call out the moves, move-by-move.
Maybe he’s an actor and she’s going over a certain bit of choreography for an upcoming production. Maybe he’s a restless spirit, and she’s teaching him the art of haunting.
That ghost forest in the gravel outside is adjacent to one of the busiest intersections on campus, and yet, turn your back to it, and it becomes just another element in the stopping and starting of the cosmos.
I could see to either end of the block from that broad, elegant tree stump I was sitting on without really being seen from the street which, along with a lush stand of grass in a nearby raised garden bed, brings to mind the wide-open prairie from centuries past.
I picture deer bounding over golden rod. I picture foxes negotiating cone flowers.
The interior of the performing arts center is designed around the premise of potential – four theaters in league with the cardinal directions, plus a blindingly white amphitheater and a low stage in the concourse itself, where they hand out complimentary spliffs and pass around community bongs during free upbeat life-affirming musical programs, attended by folks after the workday is over, plus a helping of retirees.
Okay, not grass but alcohol, but you get the point – people enjoy shindigs now and then. The lady and gentleman are out of sight, but she’s still giving direction – I can hear their back and forth somewhere around the curve in the wall,
which might stand for the passing of time. I imagine myself performing the pasodoble – no, I take it back. I imagine myself performing the pasodoble – no, I take it back! For real this time! I imagine myself destroying the pasodoble – no, god, my boot heels! The planks on the floor! I take it back!
The sun returns, so I pick up my things, head back out to that secluded space, spend a few minutes admiring the resoundingly designed program of the building.
Preformed white concrete panels are suspended twelve feet off the ground to establish the roof of the entrance. Ninety-degree angles abundantly in evidence. Brick pixelates the angled outer walls with the stuff of the earth. Ultra-high resolution, they call it around the masonic lodge.
Someone in the amphitheater is having their photo taken by a professional – everyone loves to do photo shoots there. She is wearing dark knee socks, a navy jumper and a blue bowl haircut, or maybe it’s a wig – I can’t tell from here. I picture anime or promotional material for this fine spring day.
A squirrel bounds through the grass – then poses in front of me, paws together, as though summoning oration.
A robin alights on the stone cladding of the raised beds, begins to stand exclusively on its left leg. The leg is angled under the center of mass – it’s a practiced move.
No one knows why the American robin does this – maybe it’s like bird meditation, though the memory of the American robin is so specifically extraordinary when it comes to navigation and geospecific locations that effectively, at the sensual level on up, it is living in a reality separate from our own, so who knows what meditation might mean.
They can see the magnetic fields of the earth in their eyes using a protein called cryptochrome, which reacts to magnetism. Cryptochrome – like something from the Marvel universe.
Maybe when the American robin stands on its left leg, it’s spacing out to the daytime reality of solar storms, the whole environment all aflutter with a phenomenology of waves passing around the material world.
The robin and the squirrel go their separate ways, and I feel the temperature drop – ah, me! the pasodoble! – as the next part of the front crosses campus.
A peel of thunder indicates the breaking of the sound barrier by means of electromagnetism and the displacement of gasses. Electromagnetic properties experience disequilibrium as a kind of earthquake in the sky that causes the air to vibrate in an awe-inspiring way – the sound magnetic fields make when they rearrange themselves in a gaseous atmosphere.
We are fluid dwellers, through and through, we humans and mammals and reptiles and amphibians and lichen gnawing on patches of the plaza’s concrete. Maybe from the standpoint of the atmosphere, land is just one big coral reef.
When that perfect destiny began to drop rain, the sound at first was curious, expectant – an all-squinty-eyed-and-kissy-faced sort of rain began to fall that grew into a snowy hum that seemed to have a simple song playing inside it, like someone playing a ukulele in the room next door, singing along.
The gig carries on for twenty minutes or so – an opening act – before the rain begins to march double time through the streets – barely soldiers even when they were soldiers.
Less tactic and more matador, this rain storm, and its boot heel crashes down on the planking of the still-lovely spring day. These magnetic storms are not
for war making, nor fighting bulls, nor even for entertaining that cosmic bird called the American robin. What are they for then?
American robins also configure their flight by the stars, by remembering features on the land, by creating mental maps of it all.
And they swim with both grace and endurance, as they navigate this liquid world, this concrete way of life.
In the moment, they are roosting in a tree, observing the silver magnetic waves marching through the streets. Made of what? The pasodoble! Concrete.

In Triplicate #8 - The Beths - Future Me Hates Me / Jump Rope Gazers / Expert In A Dying Field (2018 - 2022)
While a large discography is not necessarily the indication of a great band or artist finding a musician who can release three watershed albums, either outputting high quality work or exploring similar themes and motifs within them is to me nothing short of an amazing feat. It’s an achievement that is worth taking a deep dive to dissect, contrast and compare different works during a time of seeming creative wellspring. “In Triplicate” will be a bi-weekly spotlight on what I feel are artist at their peak by releasing three killer albums in a row chronologically and making observations on the world of music, their creative mindset and how these albums interlink, or pull apart, from each other.
Listen
Future Me Hates Me – Bandcamp - Apple Music – Spotify
Jump Rope Gazers – Bandcamp - Apple Music – Spotify
Expert in a Dying Field – Bandcamp - Apple Music - Spotify
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Guest Review by u/MCK_OH
Sometimes a band is just really fucking good. We all love a band that has a stake in The Narrative, but sometimes a great band is more self-contained. They aren’t great because they tell us something about how the world works, they’re great because they make great songs. On an unrelated note, meet indieheads favorite The Beths. The New Zealand based four-piece formed in 2014 and has since released 3 studio records: 2018’s Future Me Hates Me, 2020’s Jump Rope Gazers and 2022’s Expert In a Dying Field. All three of these records rule. These records do not contain much experimentation. They do not contain a shocking amount of growth. They do not contain messages that will change the way you view the world. They do not contain songs that changed The Narrative. What they do contain is 32 perfect or near-perfect songs, countless brilliant hooks, clever turns of phrase, fun harmonies and cool riffs. And while these records probably don’t contribute to The Narrative they do have A Narrative. I promise I’m not making this up. Let’s view the three Beths records not as three records but instead as one triple LP concept record. Future Jump Rope Experts Hate Me. A power pop Tommy except without all the parts of Tommy that kind of suck. Sadly there’s no “Pinball Wizard” either but you can’t have everything.
Act I: Wondering If You Feel The Same
What does it mean that Future Me Hates Me is so beloved in this subreddit? When we redid our essentials last summer, this record was one of the 40 named to the 2010s essentials. It’s not seen that way, I think. Fellow online music nerds don’t even agree! I think it means that we are a broadly anxious bunch because this is an exceedingly anxious record. Or maybe it just means that Future Me Hates Me is a perfect batch of indie rock tunes for the indie rock subreddit. A bit of both maybe.
Future Me Hates Me is probably the tightest Beths record. It’s the shortest (by 14 seconds, but still) and maintains an up-tempo pace more than the other two. It’s a record whose entire tracklist probably could be singles. Or, as proven by a series of Fortnite YouTubers, a record whose entire tracklist could be background music for your Fortnite highlights video. I’m not kidding! Look it up, there’s a distinctly strange amount of these and they all rule. Opener “Great No One” reveals what the record will be about pretty quickly. Immediately catchy, harmony-laden indie rock. That’s it, that’s the bag of tricks. Sometimes it’ll be slow for a bit - “Less Than Thou,” “River Run” - but mostly, it’s this. And that’s good because this is fantastic. There is no type of music in the world I like more than hooky indie rock. And no one does it better. Every song has something truly special about it. “Great No One” has those layered “Yeah”s on the chorus, “Future Me Hates Me” has the little guitar thing over the riff in the intro and after the first chorus, “Uptown Girl” has the name of a much worse Billy Joel Song, “You Wouldn’t Like Me” gets quiet and then loud (genius maneuver), “Not Running” has its ridiculous forward momentum from the drums, “Little Death” has the brilliant final chorus, “Happy Unhappy” has the way frontwoman Liz Stokes sings the word particularly, “River Run” also gets quiet and then loud (still genius), “Whatever” has the super fun guitar solo and “Less Than Thou” has the entire like 45 seconds when the band comes back in on vocals. It’s a perfect indie pop album. Every song is brilliant. The only records that I think I can fairly compare it to are If You’re Feeling Sinister and Alvvays in terms of indie pop perfection. Just 10 brilliant songs.
Oh yeah, the narrative. This is the first act of 3 in the conceptual masterpiece Future Jump Rope Experts Hate Me. It’s a simple narrative. Our narrator falls in love despite her knowledge that it will probably end badly, it works for a bit and then it falls apart. Our narrator is anxious pretty much the entire time. Simple, but effective storytelling.
Future Me Hates Me is about the first part of that process. Our narrator tries, and ultimately fails to convince herself that she doesn’t have a crush. The evidence to the contrary is simply overwhelming. She may believe that love’s no good idea (at all!) but on “Happy Unhappy” her every moment is haunted by wondering if he feels the same. She can’t even remember to take out the bins! On “Little Death” her body begins to fail her, dying the titular little death every time he comes near. Even then though, she maintains that “I’ll never tell, you’ll never guess.” On “You Wouldn’t Like Me,” she even admits that it “feels so much like being in love,” all the while worrying that she’s too unlikeable for it to work out. But on “Future Me Hates Me,” she comes around: she wants to risk going through future heartbreak. Future her may hate her but there’s nothing she can really do about it. And in the best song on the record, “Not Running,” she confirms that she’s not running away. It’s almost a response to the previous song, “You Wouldn’t Like Me.” It’s finally a song of trust - tell the truth. I won’t run away.. It’s okay to tell the truth. She was wondering if he feels the same and it looks like he does. Enough dying little deaths, worrying about future me. It’s time to meet the Jump Rope Gazers.
Act II: I Wanna Give It My Best Try
There’s a tendency, I think, to say that Jump Rope Gazers is the weakest Beths record. It has the weakest reviews, it has the fewest shooters among us non-critics, it is broadly just not quite as beloved as the other two. A classic sophomore slump. But I think that Jump Rope Gazers is, at the very worst, only like a quarter-step behind the other two Beths records. It would be like calling Ichiro’s 2002 season a sophomore slump. Yes, it was a step down from his rookie year and he would go on to have even better seasons but the dude still hit .321, stole 30 bases and made the all-star team. And yes, Jump Rope Gazers is a slight decline from Future Me Hates Me but it still has “Just Shy of Sure” and “Jump Rope Gazers” on it, which is the indie rock equivalent of hitting at least .321.
What sets Jump Rope Gazers apart from Future Me Hates Me the most at first is that it’s slower. Future Me Hates Me takes until the 8th song to slow down even for a minute, while Jump Rope Gazers slows down by track 3. It will slow down again at track 5 and track 9. These songs tend to be slightly weaker, though the title track is an exception. But there are still absolutely bangers on here. Opener “I’m Not Getting Excited” has a slightly gnarlier guitar sound than anything on Future Me Hates Me. Side 2 opener “Out of Sight” moves forward with the same momentum and pace that drives the best of Future Me Hates Me. “Mars, The God of War” does a little quiet/loud thing which is always welcome. While I can attempt to sort these songs into piles (“the slow ones,” “the bangers” etc) I think at the end of the day this is just another batch of excellent Beths tunes. “Dying to Believe” is a brilliant pop song that pulls out pretty much every trick in the book. I’m sort of in awe of it. It has sick harmonies! A bass solo! It has a part where the guitars are gone and then they come back! It’s another song about nervously waiting for the world to crash down around you but it sounds like a ton of fun. It has a super fun music video, the best they’ve ever made. It’s a ridiculous pop song that pulls out every trick without feeling overstuffed. “Acrid” has this faraway backing vocal at 3:33 that always makes my day. “Don’t Go Away” is like half chorus, and it’s a good choice because the chorus rocks. It’s a trick they’ll use again, to even better use on “Knees Deep” later, on Expert In A Dying Field. And the slow songs do still work. The chorus of “Do You Want Me Now” is absolute gold. One of their best. While “You Are a Beam of Light” is probably the weakest song between all three records, it’s still fun. The final chorus with the full band harmony is excellent. The best of the album’s slower cuts is “Jump Rope Gazers.” “Jump Rope Gazers” was the first Beths song that I loved. It has what is still probably the best set of opening lines of the decade with “I’ve never been the dramatic type / But if I don’t see your face tonight / I, I guess I’ll be fine.” Incredible, every time. The guitars sound really nice. The chorus sounds really nice. The melody is really nice. This whole song is just really fucking nice. It might be the one song from this band that makes you go “I’d want to live in the feeling of this song forever.” It’s the song that got me to fall in love with The Beths, and for that it will always be one of my favorites. But it’s not quite as good as the closer “Just Shy of Sure,” the best song on the record. It’s a high bar, but I think this one might have the best chorus melody of the Beths career to date. It feels like it has the same forward momentum of an “Out of Sight” while still having the more laid-back warmth of a “Jump Rope Gazers.” One of their perfect songs. One of the best songs of the decade. At the end of the day, what Jump Rope Gazers sacrifices in terms of bangers I think it mostly makes up for with a slightly more varied palette that mostly works wonders. It’s still a batch of Beths songs, which is among the highest compliments I’m willing to give anything.
Folks, meet the Jump Rope Gazers. The Jump Rope Gazers of course, are our narrator and the object of her affection. It would seem that our narrator has finally won the day. She is in love, willing to admit it and it seems like he is too. Of course, this has not stopped the worrying. On “I’m Not Getting Excited” she keeps her grip on joy loose, bracing for the potential for everything to fall down around her. On “Dying to Believe,” she’s willing to hope that everything won’t fall down around her but she also spends the song apologizing. She struggles with communication, with trust in herself and in her partner. There are true, earnest moments of joy on Jump Rope Gazers. The title track is a love song with no reservations. She wonders how this could have happened, despite all the worrying from Future Me Hates Me. She offers that she’s willing to give it her best try. The rest of the record tugs back and forth in either direction. You don’t get a sense listening to it whether it will work out long-term or not. While there are songs like “Jump Rope Gazers,” there’s also songs like “Do You Want Me Now” or “Don’t Go Away.” “Do You Want Me Now” indicates that communication here is often difficult. And anytime you need to say “don’t go away” 24 times in one song, it seems like things might not be going perfectly. The penultimate “You Are a Beam of Light” details a stilted phone call with tears involved but our narrator is willing to “meet outside in five.” Maybe they can work through this. Let’s return to the closer “Just Shy of Sure” and its brilliant chorus. What are the actual words in it?
“Oh, my head is aching
But if I keep very still
I might be able
To make this work until
The end of the weekend
Weak, but I’ll pretend
That you still want me
I’m the one you adore
But I’m just shy of sure”
More worrying! Not great probably. Sounds like it’s maybe not the sturdiest relationship in the world. Still, I hope they can make this work. That they can get around the insecurities, the doubts, the communication. Pull it together. Give us a happy ending. What’s the first lyric of the next album, as a sneak peak of where the jump rope gazers are headed?
“Can we erase our history?”
Ah, shit.
Act III: Staring Into Nothing (Or, I Hate Past Me)
If we continue to operate under the assumption that The Beths are the Ichiro Suzuki of indie rock (and we should, to clarify) then I think Expert In A Dying Field might be their equivalent of his dazzling 2004 campaign. After all, just like Ichiro in ‘04 this has a staggering amount of hits. Even more than the already staggering amount of hits from their previous efforts! It helps that, unlike the 10 songs of their previous records this has 12 songs. They manage to more than keep up the quality. While this is their longest and lengthiest record, it’s hardly The White Album. Lead single “Silence Is Golden” is a bit louder than usual, “I Want To Listen” is a bit quieter and “2am” is a slow, sad closer but really this is another batch of Beths tunes. Which, again, hell yeah. Can never have enough Beths tunes going around. Let’s all hang out and watch The Beths do the indie rock equivalent of hitting .372 and breaking the single season hit record.
The opener and title track, “Expert In A Dying Field” is the best song The Beths have ever made. The lyrics are as sharp and clever as they’ve ever been, the hook is gold and the song just keeps building momentum, and building momentum, and building momentum. What starts off as an understated pop tune has turned anthemic in less than four minutes. The backing vocals are fantastic, the guitar sound is great. It’s a song that could make you dance or cry. It’s the perfect Beths song. That last minute is unstoppable. I’ve gotten goosebumps listening to it more times than I can count. “Knees Deep” rocks. It’s like 65% chorus which is fine because it’s one of the best choruses the band has ever put down. It makes sense to keep hammering the chorus button if you’ve landed on something this good. No problems here. Speaking of great choruses, this record is just chock full of ‘em. The chorus on “Best Left” wasn’t my favorite initially but I’ve really come around on it. It’s really fun to sing along to. Important quality. “Change In The Weather,” written by guitarist Jonathan Pearce proves that there’s somehow more than one band member capable of writing brilliant Beths tunes. “Head In The Clouds” and “A Passing Rain” are Beths songs. Which, hell yeah as per usual. At this point it’s almost unremarkable how this band just churns out great indie pop tunes. Unusually happy “When You Know You Know” is heavier on acoustic guitars, providing a minor change on The Beths formula. It works wonders. The heavier “Silence Is Golden” similarly tweaks the formula, providing the perfect musical backdrop for Liz Stokes’ agitated vocal performance. It’s the song that probably best captures the feeling of loud construction being done beside your home. “I Want To Listen” is also a bit of a tweak on The Beths formula. It’s a jaunty little pop tune that reminds me of similar moments in the Rilo Kiley catalog. It is unsurprisingly great. “I Told You That I Was Afraid” returns to both the anxiety and the continuous forward momentum of Future Me Hates Me and does so exceedingly well. It rocks. It’s also an exceedingly tight song, the band seems to be moving as one on this one. “Your Side” is probably my second favorite song on the record, a melancholy post-breakup tune. It’s another one with a practically perfect chorus. Oh and the guitar sound is great. Especially the guitar after Stokes sings the “oo-oo” part after the chorus. That’s what music should be right there. Closer “2am” is a classic Sad, Slower Closing Song. Y’know like “My Hometown” or “Dublin City Sky” or “Gospel” or “Butterfly.” I’m broadly suspicious of this specific type of song. Slowing it down means you lose something in energy and just generally rocking (rocking, always a good thing!) so you’ve gotta make up for it somehow. And “2am” does. This type of song works when the lyrics pick up the slack, when the slow and spareness of the song makes you focus on the lyrics, and when the emotion in the lyrics complements the pace and atmosphere of the song. When the song is sad enough that mustering energy for it seems like it’s beyond the point. “2am” is a song like that. And to be fair to “2am” it does build towards the end. After an album of playing chicken with finally saying goodbye, “2am” finally does it.
So we reach the end of the road for the jump rope gazers. We were with them through the anxious crush stage, the even more anxious early relationship stage and now it’s time to say goodbye. “Expert In A Dying Field” laments all the time and knowledge now gone to waste. While on Jump Rope Gazer’s “You Are a Beam of Light” the late night phone call was stilted and sad at least there was a late night phone call, but on “Head In The Clouds” our narrator has no one to listen to her at night. The nervous self-doubt that’s shown up again and again re-appears at the worst times on songs like “A Passing Rain” and “I Told You That I Was Afraid.” Our narrator remains torn; on “Your Side” she wants nothing more than a dramatic, tearful apology, a romantic gesture, a chance that maybe they can get back together. Maybe it’s not over, or at least not over forever. But on “Best Left” she indicates that some things are best left to rot. Some things need to be put behind, and forgotten. One of the constants in these three records is that sense of uncertainty. On Future Me Hates Me, our narrator indicates that she’ll never reveal her emotions on one song while indicating she has to on another. On Jump Rope Gazers she’ll declare her love on one song, hoping it’s going to work out while indicating that she has no serious belief that it will in others. Finally, on Expert In A Dying Field she’s unsure if the best way forward is to keep looking back or to try to move forward. One way or another the story of the jump rope gazers is over though. On “2am” we finally hear how it all fell apart. We hear about the good times, but we also hear about the communication breakdown. We hear our narrator reminiscing about when it finally fell apart:
“There was news I was nervous to tell you
Through the filter softening the words we said
Were you mad? Tell the truth, I can take it
I could hear the engine as you drove away
Through the blinds, saw the glow of the light fade”
And that’s where we leave it. She asks one more time if he still feels it, but it seems there’s no response. This is it. To some degree, she was right; she probably does hate past her.
Outro: The End of the Weekend
The Beths, great band. If you’ve somehow read this far without having heard them go listen to them. I’d listen to them in chronological order but really you can’t go wrong. I admit I had to stretch the concept a bit, leave some stuff out of the narrative and all that. But I think that puts it more and not less in line with most concept records. In truth, I think these three records do work as a loose narrative if you want to view them that way, which I sometimes do. If you don’t then you can choose to view them as three of the best indie pop records of the past decade. That works too. Either way it’s a run for the ages.
As a music nerd I am naturally list-obsessed (sometimes I worry I’m getting too close to the High Fidelity guys) so here’s a bunch of Beths lists I assembled while I was writing this.
List 1: The Perfect Beths Songs
1. “Not Running”
2. “Little Death”
3. “Less Than Thou”
4. “Jump Rope Gazers”
5. “Out of Sight”
6. “Just Shy of Sure”
7. “Expert In A Dying Field”
8. “Knees Deep”
9. “Your Side”
10. “I Told You That I Was Afraid”
11. “Idea/Intent”
List 2: The Near Perfect Beths Songs
1. All the rest
List 3: The Abridged Tracklist to Future Jump Rope Experts Hate Me. Or, the songs that I think tell the narrative I’m trying to sell the best.
1. “Little Death”
2. “Future Me Hates Me”
3. “You Wouldn’t Like Me”
4. “Not Running”
5. “I’m Not Getting Excited”
6. “Dying to Believe”
7. “Jump Rope Gazers”
8. “Just Shy of Sure”
9. “Expert In A Dying Field”
10. “Your Side”
11. “Best Left”
12. “2am”
List 4: The Top 10 Beths Music Videos
1. “Dying to Believe”
2. “Knees Deep”
3. “Expert In A Dying Field”
4. “Future Me Hates Me”
5. “Your Side”
6. “Jump Rope Gazers”
7. “Uptown Girl”
8. “I’m Not Getting Excited”
9. “Little Death”
10. “Happy Unhappy”
List 5: 10 Actors Who Could Have Been That Actor In That One Particular Film
1. Jackie Chan
2. Jeremy Renner
3. Rebecca Ferguson
4. Dominic Monaghan
5. Owen Wilson
6. Charlize Theron
7. Matt Damon
8. Julia Roberts
9. Paul Giamatti
10. Viola Davis
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(Tentative) Schedule
May 27 - U2 - War / The Unforgettable Fire / The Joshua Tree
June 10 - R.E.M. Part 1 - Murmur / Reckoning / Fables of Reconstruction (Guest Entry u/p-u-n-k_girl)
June 24 - R.E.M. Part 2 - Out of Time / Automatic for the People / Monster
July 8 - Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend / Contra / Modern Vampires of the City
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Archive

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The lyrics are…. Empty? Lifeless? Do they even exist? I’ve listened through 10+ times and have read through every song and… there’s nothing there. Nothing to examine and digest. Nothing to decode and ponder. I loved RKS because the lyrics were actual works of art. Where did that go? Not a single song on the album has any lyrical depth or complexity.
I think the album is a fun, but nothing to truly treasure. My brain does 0 work in understanding any story, any turn of phrase, any visualizing of the pictures the words paint… It’s just interesting computer noises and some catchy rhymes.
I’m listening because I love RKS. I can appreciate diversity in work. I can respect trying a new sound, experimenting with synthesizers and different electronics, etc. I just hope that some day they can experiment with sounds while also producing quality lyrical work too. I miss that so much and honestly, that’s my only true complaint of the album. Where’s the substance? Hopefully somewhere deep in their heads, building and festering for the next album. For now, I’ll mindlessly jam out to these new pop bops in the car on the way to work.

https://youtu.be/AbDEnIVu-zU?si=77ka1zyxsG6tf2-7
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tragicallyhip/whentheweightcomesdown.html
Hello everyone, I hope all is well. Today we are going back to 1989 with the band’s debut album Up To Here and we will talking about the eight track from the album titled “When the Weight Comes Down.”
Now when it comes to this album, I actually think “When the Weight Comes Down” is one of the more interesting songs. The song starts off with a one chord guitar strum that is backed by a solid drum beat that remains even when the guitar strum is done ringing out. This is just the song’s intro though as after a uick fill from Johnny we enter the main part of the verse. The main guitar riff is simple but it’s fun. Basically either Rob or Paul are playing a B power chord (on the A and D strings) but lifting up on the B note every now and again, leading them to playing the D string open. It’s extremely simple but it’s a type of riff that I would write because it’s fun and easy to play.
Lyrically, this is where the song becomes a puzzle. Gord starts off the song with lyrics about a guy wearing rubies on his head while he’s “shifting.” The rubies on his head make me think of him wearing a crown like a king. Then Gord sings “and he's hearing something she never said. On his way back home, under his bed.” Between this line and the “shifting” line I feel like so far this song is on the darker side. Just based on this first verse I wonder if this song is about a doomed relationship as the guy is “hearing something she never said.” But as the song continues I’m less convinced about that theme.
We then arrive to the chorus where we get a slight change to the chord progression. Lyrically the chorus is simple as Gord just sings the title of the song. But the way Gord sings the chorus is incredibly catchy. His phrasing is longer and smooth and you get either Sinclair or Paul providing some fitting backing vocals. And lyrically I feel like the title of this song is suppose to convey something bad that has happened that makes it feel as if the weight of the world is coming down on you.
In the second verse the story gets even more confusing. Gord sings about a girl with ragged sleeves and about someone who is about to grieve. Then we have this guy telling the girl about the biblical story of Adam and Eve which seems pretty random at first. But after another chorus we get the lyric “and a girl walks by the burning bush.” The burning bush is another biblical reference; it was a bush that was on fire but was not consumed by the flames. So I think Gord may be going with the metaphor here that people who have the weight of the world on their shoulders are still standing, just like how the bush can’t burn away despite the flames. But the following lyrics about the girl asking the guy “what’s wrong here” and then “opening wide” are still a mystery to me. Is it more religious references? What I do know is that Gord is singing this verse in a higher and more exciting octave in his vocal range.
It’s after this verse though where the music becomes really appealing. We get a guitar solo from Rob that starts off like an 80’s hair metal solo, but in a good way. I like it because it doesn’t sound like a typical Rob solo. It starts off ferocious and then becomes more melodic. And then we get some great dynamics coming out of the solo. The guitars drops out and it’s just the drums and bass while Sinclair plays some melodic lines. Then we get Paul playing some pretty arpeggios while Rob is doing some basic strums. The energy comes to a slow down while Gord starts singing.
This last verse though lyrically is just as confusing as the rest of them. This time the narrator dreams of a “candy coated train” with a little girl arriving at their door. Followed by the line “you know a letter washes up to the shore, that I cannot read and I probably should ignore.” I think that’s probably the best line in the song. For me it conjures up imagery of regret and knowing you can’t go back in time to fix things. And that fits well with the title of the song. But I’m not sure how it fits the other narratives like the religious tones. Someone online said that they interpret this song about drug abusive but with these lyrics I feel that’s kinda a stretch.
Then the band absolutely kills the outro of the song. The backing vocals during the last chorus become even more prominent and Gord adds a lot of grit and passion to his vocals. Rob goes back to that chugging guitar solo riff from before and as he’s hitting some harmonics, Gord goes crazy with his vocals! He’s yelling “get out!” with so much power that it reminds me of what would come to be on “Locked in the Trunk of a Car.” This whole outro has the energy of songs from future albums like Road Apple and Fully Completely and it’s definitely my favorite part of this song.
Overall I do think this is one of the more electric songs on Up to Here. There are some production choices that hold this song from being on the level as other songs from future albums. And I feel like Gord was getting closer to his genus level of story telling lyrics and his more historical/abstract lyrics. But there’s moments on this song that definitely shine and besides the singles, it’s probably one of my favorites from the album and it should have been played more than ten times live.
But what do you think of this song from the band’s debut album? What do you think the song is about? Favorite lyrical or musical moments? And did you ever catch it live?

🪞 “It's much easier to get in that it is to get out,” Emilie Autumn used to say. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 - Part 4.2
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵

THE PRESENT DAY: “ASK ME ANYTHING (WELL, NOT QUITE)”

​

"Ask me anything" titles are catchy, and that’s why I’m using one. But, obviously, don’t ask me anything, by which I mean that, if you think I wouldn’t answer it, you’re probably right. Ask me something really good. I’d love to answer you. I’d love to have comments on these posts, in fact, so that I could answer questions there regularly and ask you things as well, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or so Einstein is supposed to have said, and attempting to create yet another interactive online venue after every previous attempt has ended in heartbreak—forums, facebook groups, social media accounts—it would indeed be insanity to think that this time would be any different. So there are no comments. This too is heartbreaking in the sense that, and you may not realize this, but I desperately want to connect more completely with you—to be able to intelligently converse and share and exchange. We can do that in person, of course, because the wrong people never show up in person. Isn’t that funny… So, perhaps we’ll have to arrange that;). I’ll start you off with an example question I’d want to know if I were you (I can almost guarantee that you do not want to know this). Q. Hey EA, how do you keep your wireless bodypack transmitter secure when you are leaping about in skimpy costumes and doing frequent costume changes? Also, dye your roots. A. Fantastic question, EA, and I just dyed my roots thank you very much. ... (Deleted blog post followed by a year of radio silence, 2022 📝)

Sooo. For the past five-ish years, the vibe in the Asylum has been that of a protracted Christmas dinner where everyone is tensely moving their food around in their plate, bracing themselves for whatever will trigger the screaming match. Wondering what it's going to be this time. Weary old-timers make small talk about the food because no other topic feels safe. Every glance, every forced smile, is fraught with eons-old grudges and unspoken regrets; every nervous pleasantry sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation. Aunt Emilie always insists on hosting, but not-so-secretly hates having people over. Sooner or later, she finds a way to get all of these assholes out of her house. Most of the adult children are daydreaming about going no-contact.
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.

YE OLDEN DAYS: CUCKOOS OF A FEATHER NEST TOGETHER

In the beginning, it was beautiful.
EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.

It wasn't just about Emilie on the forums. People could chat about almost anything with near free reign, making connections and lifelong friends. ... This community mattered SO MUCH to people. They felt included, accepted, and understood within the walls of the Asylum. People invested their time and creative energy into keeping the forums a vibrant, active community, and made sure that carried over into the real world. ... I've never seen anything like it in a fan space. I doubt I ever will again. (@Asylum_Oracle - “Fandom History” Instagram highlight 🔍📝, which contains most of the sources for this segment.)

And it did, indeed, carry over into the real world. There were numerous meet-ups – a few organized by EA, many more spontaneous. People who didn't know any other EA fans in real life, or were just excited to add new Plague Rats to their friend group, would regularly connect with other forum users from their area to meet up and hang out before EA shows. “Who else is dressing up??”
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.

People who would never normally be involved in an artist's fanbase were in EA's world. And not only were they known – they were respected and incredibly active with the fanbase. These people who managed an online message board were willing to engage in real-world meet-ups (with no security??) because of how tight-knit the community they had built was. People turned out to this event. People traveled to go to this event. It was a short reading of a book that hadn't been released yet, and wouldn't be for some time. Why? Because not only was it a chance to meet Emilie and listen to parts of the new book, but it was also a chance to hang out with their friends from the Asylum. ... The fandom really was a family for a lot of people. (@Asylum_Oracle)

“SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

It all started with The End.
The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.

Fan: Okay. Before I start, I just want you to know that I think it's very good that EA is getting more popularity, and that she can release lots of albums, but - are 5 editions of the same album really needed? You may say now “ah, it's not the same, it has 2 bonus tracks” or whatever, but I mean: it's not new material. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for it, maybe I'll even buy it, but I'm just wondering if she shouldn't keep herself busy with other (maybe more important) stuff? * hides * EA: Nobody's forcing you to buy it. Thanks.

Record scratch.

Fan 1: is this Opheliac release version number 4? lol If she's recording NEW tracks, then surely they deserve to be sold by themselves, otherwise people are going to have to buy an album that they may have already bought twice (like me!). But... alas, I am a fool and adore everything this woman does... im buying it lol Fan 2: exactly – if it was just reissuing the last version of Opheliac to tap into new markets that would be fine (...) but if they start adding extra bits of material to albums people already have then the true muffins are going to feel obliged to buy new copies (...) EA: How exactly are you obliged to buy anything? Nobody is forcing you to spend a fucking penny, my dears. I suppose it would make more sense to you to simply not have my records available any more as the old label I just escaped from will no longer be distributing them? Forgive me for adding extra tracks. No obligation necessary.

...Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can see both sides of the argument here. Fans are annoyed at the idea of spending money on barely-anything-new, because they love EA and buy every single CD she releases. EA is exasperated by fans acting like she's twisting their arm and somehow resenting the inclusion of new material, when she was just ensuring that her album would remain available for purchase and trying to keep things interesting.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?

FantineDormouse: Uhm, Emilie, love, I don't mean to sound rude or anything... but maybe you should have a cup of tea and relax a little.

...
* sound of archduke getting shot *

EA: Excuse me? You can throw this onslaught of absolute cruel bullshit at me and those I work with in my own space that I own, and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing. Relax? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? FD: I'm not trying to piss you off even more, Emilie. And trust me, I have to deal with it myself, and as much as I would really love to punch the cunts I have to deal with in the face, I don't. You're pissed off, I get it. You're bipolar, which makes it 10x worse, I get that. I'm just not the person to stand around and do nothing when a fight where I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of regret is going on.

Famous last words. Literally! Immediately after EA delivered her irate closing statement – which includes one of my all-time favorite EA zingers, bolded...

EA: I cannot believe this... You just don't stop, do you? So just because I've shared the personal information with you all that I happen to be bipolar, I can't get pissed off at all of you being perfectly awful in the very space that I pay fuckloads a month to have up (has it ever occurred to you all that I pay dearly for this space you play around in?) Why not just tell me that I must be upset because it's my time of the month? Seriously, get the fuck out of my house. You are unbelievable, and your level of patronization is almost criminal. Don't make me write another book. With muffins like you, who needs enemies? Nothing I say or feel is legitimate, not ever ever ever because I'm bipolar... discredited before I begin... unbelievable...

...FantineDormouse got permabanned.
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.

To those of you who appear not to understand why said posts, most especially those of the banned party, were offensive to me, I give you the option to either educate yourselves on your own time and in your own space (because please never forget that this is my space that I share with all of you at my own expense, and in which I generally give you all the freedom I would wish for myself), or to resign your posts in the Asylum Army – this is not the place for you, and I humbly suggest that you turn your attention and support towards other artists of a more placid, non-controversial, and less opinionated nature; there are more than enough of them out there, and I’m sure they all have forums of their own.

Some fans did leave. Most stuck around, whiplashed. Soon, the storm quieted down, and business as usual resumed on the forum. But something had been damaged beyond repair. The FantineDormouse fiasco had erected walls and drawn lines in the sand, both around EA and among her fans; its sad specter would haunt every Asylum crisis that spiked up forever after. “Fucking Patronizing Fucking” or “FPF” 🔍 became memetic shorthand in the fandom for overreaction and self-righteousness. 🐀
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠

A NOTE ON HARASSMENT: “MAD GIRL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU?”

Wouldn't they stop When you asked them to leave you alone? (“Mad Girl”, 2008 🎵)

Now, let's be clear, because it should not be minimized: EA has also been the target of genuine online harassment. Based on the simple fact that she is a woman with a public presence on the internet, I have zero doubt that EA has received (and perhaps continues to receive) more than her share of truly vile, bigoted, creepy and threatening messages – and, knowing what I know about the darker recesses of the Asylum, a terrifying amount of emotional blackmail and obsessive projection from people who hold her to punitively high standards. I'm also inclined to believe that it started way before she ever did anything that warranted any backlash. And that fucking sucks. It's repulsive and inexcusable, and the people who harass her should crawl into a hole and live among the worms.
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.

The "public eye" isn't an [enviable] place to be, and the closer I've come to it, the more horrified I've been. Because, for starters, who is "the public?" Is "the public" my audience? Hell no. My audience is special. They are not the general public. If they were the general public I would be a lot wealthier. The "public eye" means getting stalked, harassed, viscously judged, and put in danger. If I do things in the future that gain notoriety, I will do them in spite of fame, not because of it. I am out for world domination, but not fame. (Interview for The Moaning Times, 2014 📝)

In real life (well, mostly online, but I mean: on this shared plane of existence), things play out slightly differently. The Venn diagram of “true blue fans” and “people who criticize EA" and "people who know way too much about EA” is a circle. The call is 100% coming from inside the Asylum, and I think EA rationally knows that. But here's the thing: no matter how many shows and meet-and-greets you've dressed up for, how many loving and supportive comments you've left, or how many family heirlooms you once pawned to purchase a copy of the not-for-sale 2003 DJ pressing of Enchant... the instant EA feels attacked, everyone is a saboteur and a bully until proven otherwise, and suspected treason is dealt with on the spot. One strike, you're out. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her threshold for bullying seems to be “any remotely thoughtless opinion from any stranger on the internet”.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.

You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy, and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you – It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end You will see: It's the Opheliac in me... (“Opheliac”, 2006 🎵)

And YES, it is extremely regrettable to have this as a trigger, when you're a public figure and you're bound to receive more negative feedback than the average citizen. “It's what she signed up for”, “it comes with the territory” and all that jazz. I really don't think EA was unaware of that fact when she decided to become a musician, share her personal life, and form an intense parasocial bond with her audience. But maybe she underestimated how hard it would be to process and recover from.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.

A MADHOUSE UNDER MARTIAL LAW: MARCHING INTO THE FORUM WARS

There are two sides to every story... except for this one! (“If I Burn”, 2012 🎵)

You may have noted the military imagery in EA's “Make a Fucking Choice” response post – “resign your post in the Asylum Army”! What do psychiatry and the military have in common? They're both institutions of top-down social control. 🔍 EA's mixed metaphor may be a bit clunky, but it did foreshadow the evolution of the Asylum – in terms of aesthetics and power dynamics – in the years that followed the FantineDormouse incident and the release of The Book.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.

The Emilie Autumn forum is a dystopian hell. Truth be told, when I decided to leave you could not do anything but gush about Emilie. Otherwise all of her extremist arse kissing fans will be down your throat, ripping you apart in seconds, if you so much as questioned her behaviour. So much for freedom of opinion, let alone the idea of creating a harmonious community for ‘outcasts’. Hahaha. (2014 🐀)

The word filter thing really wasn't a big deal – I'm just pointing it out as one goofy expression of EA's need to control the narrative and rhetoric, which became especially noticeable in those post-book, pre-FLAG years. By that point, EA's fuse had been shortened by near on half a decade of non-stop touring / recording / writing / promoting / adjusting to the pressure and demands of an ever-growing fanbase, while also dealing with a horrorshow of personal turmoil and health issues behind the scenes. In other words: she was done taking any shit, in any form, or humoring anyone's ridiculous feedback regarding anything.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:

Dearest Plague Rats, To be honest, I have no idea of what the hell happened with Aromaleigh, and I don't care to find out – the whole drama is a complete mystery to me, as I've been away for months touring and have not been in contact with anyone. All I know is that I've been promoting the company for ages and have not asked them for anything in years. (...) Please focus on more interesting things. I am. (“Save the Drama...” forum post, March 2010)

Posts questioning her good faith in the conflict were deleted from the forum. Shortly thereafter, citing how prolific and labor-intensive the Asylum forum had grown, EA shut down all non-EA related subforums – which, among many other topics, included a pretty active thread about Aromaleigh products.
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?

I feel like [WVC] is the only place I feel any of that old Asylum community kind of feeling I felt before EA got so focused on the book. It sucks that it’s so full of unhappiness, and I wish she hadn’t poisoned the sanctuary she claimed to have built. It’s just kind of fallen apart, like a crumbling building. (🐀 2016)

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

I was listening to the Joe Budden Podcast and heard Ish mention that he felt like Kendrick won with the sounds and what not. So I wanted to do some research. All of Drake's song lack use of Onomatopoeia. I even said at the start of this, I want to see something new from Drake, but I felt like we got a lot of the same Drake personally.
Now on Kendrick's side:
Euphoria- Shoo Shoo Shoo
Euphoria- Beep Beep Beep
Euphoria- Bow Bow Bow
Not Like Us- Psst
Not Like Us- Emphasis on "Pop" out and show n\*****
Not Like Us- Wop Wop Wop
Not Like Us- Emphasis on "Lean" on you n\*****
More elements of writing Drake lacked unless someone can point out, Acronyms:
F.A.N.- Freak A\* N*****
Lastly, a catchy phrase for people to mock Kendrick and his fans with:
"OV- Hoe"
I feel like Drake could've easily mocked Kendrick in a whole song early on with this angle and won a bit more of peoples vote early on.
Not that I feel like Kendrick solely won off this, but anyone with history in poetry circles can appreciate all the different elements of writing Kendrick uses in his music in general.

1. Leonard Cohen - Songs of Leonard Cohen (1968) A [3 listens B/A-/A] not really a "Rock" album, but it's one of those albums that constantly caught my eye, plus 60s albums are getting hard to come by. His writing is otherworldly. Fully lived experiences and age with every character in these songs. I would hate to live in his mind, as it seems so damn complex and very overanalytical on every single human interaction. If Bob Dylan is a storyteller, he is a painter; the level of complexity in all of these characters and people are so detailed. Similar to Blood on the Tracks, a lot of the songs are about romance and past relationships, however unlike that album, it isn't as heartbroken and shows a lot of value towards those experiences; even if they're all difficult to move past. Great album and that is enhanced by close, focused deep dives into these lyrics.
2. Yes: i. The Yes Album (1971) A++ [6 listens A+/A++/A+/A+/A++/A++] Close to the Edge is still one of the most Epic-like songs in Rock history, so I was thinking it was going to be pretty hard to top that, and it turns out, they already did lol. CttE is a great song, but the rest of the album is merely ok, whereas Venture is the only weak song. Everything else is MAGNIFICENT!! Move over harmonica, the organ is officially the most underrated instrument now. EVERY climax of each song is immaculate, the guitar and keyboards are always on point, the singing has never been better! Nothing could ever match what CttE is, but they started off with making a more consistent album throughout instead of only in one song. All timer. ii. Fragile (1971) A- [3 listens A-/A-/A-] first time I actually felt like I got Rick Roll'd by an album, as I didn't realize that the song from that meme was from Roundabout lol. The song is great and is even better the longer it develops. However, it does fall apart as the album gets deeper, particularly in the second side. I read on the recording of this album and saw that the individual members worked on separate tracks as they were being rushed and it really shows, as there are very understated and disconnected from everything else next to them. It becomes very noticeable when a song like Roundabout literally kicks off the tracklist and you have to follow it. Now, I can see the path on their way to how CttE is formatted, as it's just 3 "Roundabouts" in a row. Good listen, but very unbalanced.
3. ZZ Top - Tres Hombres (1973) A++ [6 listens B/B++/A-/A+/A+/A++] I listened to Eliminator and thought it was kinda meh and someone suggested to listen to this, as this is their "signature sound". Thank God I did, because this is probably my favorite Blues Rock album I've heard so far. The choruses are solid and aren't straying too far from the standard Blues layout, but it's the drumming, guitar licks and the solos that won me. That drum lick on the opening of La Grange is so damn sweet. Hell Raiser's solo is so amazing. The guitar riff on Master of Sparks is so catchy. The guitar & bass interplay on Shiek and Precious and Grace are amazing. Honestly, even though the song structures aren't that unique, they did the absolute best with what they had. But if I'm being honest, the 3 additional live tracks at the end put it over the edge for me. The energy is palpable.
4. Joni Mitchell: i. Court and Spark (1974) A [3 listens A/A/A] been awhile since I listened to Joni Mitchell's Blue, but I still catch myself randomly humming verses from My Old Man and Carey, so she's managed to find a place to hide out in the corners of my brain. It's a more jovial Mitchell and a forward looking project, instead of her sulking in her life experiences. A "recollection" of memories with her stories, with how scattered the writing flows. My favorite songs are Help Me, Free Man in Paris, Just Like This Train, Raised On Robbery. Nice album, she's starting to flirt with Jazz, but not as risky as what would come after. Also, Twisted needs to be cut from this album tho; such an odd fit. ii. The Hissing of Summer Lawns (1975) A [3 listens A/A+/A] she's completely single and ready to mingle now with this one; in terms of the music. Playing off the cover art, its sound likes she's taking a stroll through the park, meeting strangers with different instruments and styles, stopping to sit in the grass or dance around with someone and moving on to the next person. This feels more unplanned compared to the others, which helps it create a separate identity from the rest of her work. I do think the songs struggle in the first half, but the second side are much stronger. Shades of Scarlett, Harry's House, The Boho Dance and the title track are my favorites. Also, the music and the combination of instruments on display is way more enthralling than the lyrics and her signature storytelling. It's very good, but there's definitely more complete albums she's made. iii. Hejira (1976) A+ [3 listens B/B++/A+/A+] For some reason, early on this is the album that hit the wall for me, as I i kinda got tired of her not really changing her vocal cadence that much in the first 2 listens. After getting pass that, it's hard not to respect her. I still don't think this album does much too advance her music on a stylistic level, as the previous two have, but fuck, she's so damn great at writing. Furry Sings the Blues, Refuge of the Road, A Strange Boy... just such amazing storytelling in those alone. Also, Song for Sharon is possibly my favorite Joni Mitchell song now; just perfection. Had that slow, casual feel reminiscent of Blue that is rare to come across. I honestly hate albums like this, "growers", as even now, I feel like if I listen to this a few more times, I'd come to admire it more.
5. Iggy Pop: i. The Idiot (1977) A+ [5 listens A-/A/A/A+/A+] I've gone through all of the Stooges albums and now it's time for Iggy Pop's solo material. Both of these were made along side Bowie's Berlin Trilogy and as the producer, his fingerprints are all over it. The desolate guitars ringing, while a very uncommonly low energy Iggy sings over it all. If the first half of Low could be called a trial run for New Wave music, then this album is the trial run for Post Punk. Also, the album art perfectly matches the tone of the album: a blue/black picture in the cold, mysterious darkness of night... with a clueless Iggy just along for the ride lol. This has his signature deadpan style, but none of the Garage Rock energy he's knows for, which imo makes this effort a more respectable leap then he may think. I read he really doesn't "claim" this album, as he sees it as more for a Bowie project, but this album is definitely made better with his inclusion. Yes, the music is the biggest part, but idk if you could just replace Bowie on any of these songs and it'd be instantly better. ii. Lust of Life (1977) B [3 listens B-/B+/B] Wow, the album where he put his "foot down" and went in on making an album that HE wanted, is of course the one I left unimpressed by. Not that it's bad, but it's just a Stooges album with, again, not of that high octane energy. Success and The Passenger are phenomenal songs, but everything else is just your by "the numbers" Rock n Roll standards with an updated Garage spirit than anything as inventive at The Idiot.
6. Warren Zevon - Excitable Boy (1978) B+ [2 listens B+/B+] Genuinely can't remember how he got on my list or even remember if anyone even recommended him. But this is considered his "best album" and plus, outside of Elton John, I haven't really explored many Rock that centers around the Piano. It's a fun album, albeit very crude and satirical at times, it managed to balance it out well. Outside the double take lyrics, none of these songs are too special. I like the nice piano jingle of Werewolves of London and the title track is an interesting song. However, the last few songs tanked it. Okay listen; not everybody is an "album artist", as the singles were the best parts.
7. Wire: i. Chairs Missing (1978) A [4 listens B++/A/A/A] Wire! Pink Flag has managed to become an all time favorite since discovering it and honestly wasn't aware that they actually had other albums just as critically praised as it. As a 2nd album, it comes off very odd, but with hindsight of what follows it, it's easy to see that it's just stuck between two worlds: the world of "Proto"-Post Punk and the extended end of the "concept" of Post Punk. None of their music really feels like "Post Punk" as they never seem to conform to any genre sound. Where Pink Flag feels like a group of teens making Punk with a solid background in music, they weren't out to be "experimental" with the music. Here the Hardcore edge is removed, which allows their artistry to become more visible, but they're moving away from this subversion. Mercy, Practice Makes Perfect, I Am the Fly, Marooned, Outdoor Minor are the good ones. It's still very ahead of its time and still ahead of the curb. ii. 154 (1979) A++ [6 listens A-/A+/A++/A++/A++/A++] sometimes you have to let the thing you want go in order to fully accept the possibility that something can be better. I still desire a Pink Flag 2, but I'll be a fool to dismiss how amazing this is. The extremely eeriely brooding and atmospheric environment is pushing the limits of what Post Punk should even be. A song like Other Window creepy as fuck, due to Graham Lewis' increased vocal role, adding SO much to this tone. Touching Display is how every droning guitar should be used; deep, whole notes and if it was made in the 90s, it'll be my favorite Post Rock song outside of Slint. This is Avant-Post Punk essentially; carving out a deep future path for Gothic Rock to eventually go down. Also, SYNCOPATED RHYTHMS!! There are many bands to do it (often Pop bands), but none do it better with a heavy and Punk sound as they do. Also, compared to Pink Flag, there's SO little fat on here; so yes, it's definitely their best album. The ONLY flaw is the ending sequencing of it... Map should've been the closer and it would be PERFECT. / Colin Newman - A-Z (1980) A [4 listens B++/B/A+/A] Colin Newman's solo project and the "unofficial 4th Wire album" as many of the songs were written while the band was together. And it is obvious the time frame when, as it's more of a 154 Part 2 with how very unattached it is to being "Post Punk". However, similar to Chairs Missing, it's an unfocused album with so many great ideas. This is probably where I'd say it's too experimental, as some of these songs are just too intentionally eccentric. To be frank, I think he's trying too hard to be "weird" to match that energy of 154, but the weirdness was from the tone and how desolate the energy was. Whereas here, the energy is completely up and down and the oddness is in the erratic style than it's ambiance. This one probably has more moments and songs that I love more, but this makes Chairs Missing appear more concise lol. Still very good if you're a Wire fan, even if you can still sense that it's not really a true "Wire" project.
8. Siouxsie and the Banshees: i. Kaleidoscope (1980) B+ [3 listens A/A-/B+] with a different lineup this time around, interested to see how they will develop their sound going into the 80s. And it's kinda as I expected: more diverse instruments, more grooves with in the basslines and leaning on the singing to lead the direction. As the songs go on, they (specifically Siouxsie Sioux) lose their energy. Side 2 has all the best songs, while the first is lacking. Solid listen, but feels they overdid it when they should've kept it simple like on Scream. I respect the attempt and was probably a needed change due to how fast Post Punk was developing, but it could've been done more succinctly. ii. Juju (1981) A+ [2 listens A/A+] Well shit, it's like they already knew my criticisms lol. Finally dynamic songs! Partially why Bauhaus has become my favorite Post Punk/Gothic band, is that the song's layout and rhythms changes throughout a single song and doesn't remain static. Sioux is an all timer in presence, but not so much with singing imo, so she's used so much better as she's highlighted spottingly, particularly in crescendoing over the music. Also, this is heavy as hell; Monitor sounds like a SOAD track... Damn! Honestly, I thought this was going to be a repeat of Kaleidoscope, but man did they knock it out of the park. Fine tuned what they did and allowed themselves to amplify it without losing their identity completely.
9. Bathory: i. Self-Titled (1984) B++ [3 listens B++/B++/B++] the first "official" Black Metal album or EP given its length. Not only are the song structures primitive, but the mixing is as well. I think it works for what it is; something completely new. Even they didn't know what they were doing and it feels that way. The bassline is what seals the deal, as it keeps things very grounded. And the guitar is... well, it lays down the foundation of what Black Metal will become; for better or for worse. The production is really holding this back; it's very poorly mixed. The frayed sound of the guitars looses a lot of edge, which admittedly does make it an easier listen, but so much of its power is lost. Reaper, Raise the Dead, Necromancy, guitar solo on Sacrifice are the highlights. ii. Under the Sign of the Black Mark (1987) A+ [4 listens A+/A/A+/A+] I really love this album. Woman of Dark Desires, Massacre, 13 Candles, Enter the Eternal Fire, with that AWESOME guitar solo in the middle! This is the perfect step up, sound quality included. More songs with distinct identities, loved the pacing throughout and a very "easy" listen (i.e. no overly chaotic guitar solos). That's usually my main critique with most Extreme Metal albums is that songs tend to run into one another and there's very little differences between them all. The riffs are different, the tempo is different and the drumming is changed up on every song. Great album! But similar to all of their other stuff, I just wish it was longer. iii. Blood Fire Death (1988) A [3 listens A/A+/A] Another great album, but it's not a consistent as UtSotBM. I enjoyed the acoustic sections (that would later influence viking metal) which raises it up some points. It was an unexpected skill I didn't think they were capable of. However, this album is one that's trying to be two things: it does one really well and just "sorta" touches on the other one. It would've been great to see a better balance between these terrific Black Metal sections and these Viking Metal acoustic ones, giving equal time to each. I hope they would find a better balance in a future album, but I'm only listening to these 3. All were good listens and held up much better for pioneers of a genre.
10. The Pogues - Rum, Sodomy & the Lash (1985) A [4 listens A+/A/A/A] a long awaited listen after seeing so much about this. It doesn't really come off as "Punk" but as legit, Irish/Celtic shanties. The novelty wears off after a few listens though. It's very genuine in its execution and doesn't come off as gimmicky at all. It's very 2 note: uptempo or slow wailing songs. Waltzing Matilda and I'm a Man You Don't Meet Everyday are by far the best songs here, with Dirty Old Town, Wild Cats and Sally MacLennane in that 2nd tier below. Really good and takes itself very serious.
11. Butthole Surfers - Locust Abortion Technician (1987) C+ [2 listens B-/C+] speaking of talking itself seriously.... here's the complete opposite. It's very VERY hard to actually get into this as it's just absurdist for absurdism sake as most of it is just so empty. There are a few sparks of musical inspirations that show they are capable of something more serious, but they seem to enjoy being nonsensical over making compelling music. It doesn't necessarily have to be serious satire or just cut and dry (I love Ween), but there has to be a point to this madness or else it just comes off as simply... madness.
12. Queensryche - Operation: Mindcrime (1988) A+ [2 listens A/A+] Sounds like a "Heavy" Hair Metal band. The story is simply "okay" and that's being nice, as this was way over hyped, that I expected something like a To Pimp a Butterfly of themes and stories intersecting. This is like a Hair Metal version of the Wall. It feels more like a musical than a concept album with a linear story, which loses stream after Breaking the Silence. It is very melodramatic especially in the second half, but it was the 80s... However, it has Spreading the Disease so all of that is a wash; we don't got guys hitting high notes like that anymore, which you gotta admit Hair Metal nailed that with perfection. A++ music but A concept, so right in the middle.
13. Coroner: i. No More Color (1989) A- [3 listens A+/A/A-] first non big 4 Thrash. I don't know how popular they were beyond Europe, but they were pioneers in the Technical Thrash Metal (sometimes called Prog Thrash). The main issue is that all the songs run into one another, without any significant parts to either of them. They set their songs around the guitar solos (which can be unmemorable at best and very messy at worse), which furthers mushes everything together. This is why I tend to value pacing in music, especially in Heavy Metal. There's plenty of good riffs to be found, but you have to sludge your way to find them. ii. Mental Vortex (1991) A+ [2 listens A+/A+] great follow-up. The guitar is still leading every song, but it's not fully taking control over the identity of every one. The drumming and the shifts in the music (similar to Metallica's 80s work) better distinguishes each track, making every phrase more dynamic. It's pretty good, but admittedly the She's So Heavy cover puts it just over to be an A+; better than the original because its fully realized metal and ends 30 seconds sooner :p
14. Swervedriver - Mezcal Head (1993) A++ [4 listens A++/A++/A++/A++] a Grunge album in Shoegaze clothing. The music is very unassuming with its generic 90s vocals, but that's how that Shoegaze sound sneaks up on you. The reverb on every guitar note constantly adds texture to every moment, almost drowning you with its heaviness. And THEN, that's when the vocals start to shine; like warm light of a log cabin in the middle of a heavy, blinding blizzard. Also, Duress is up there along side Venus in Furs as those all timers I know I'll forever be listening to for decades to come. Phenomenal album, highly recommend! ii. Raise (1991) A- [2 listens A/A-] literally decided to listen to this days before finishing up as I didn't know this album was also a landmark in Shoegaze (maybe moreso than MH). This is the album shows that less discussed bridge from Noise Rock to Shoegaze, as so many places only consider Shoegaze as a direct evolution of Dream Pop. This is a true Alternate Rock sound, with heavy guitar distortion; but not to the extent to what Shoegaze is really known as. This is closer to Dinosaur Jr or Sonic Youth than MBV or Slowdive. That aside, its pretty good for a debut. The melodies aren't as great as MH, but a few songs like Son of Mustang Ford, Sandblasted and Sunset were great foundation points of what would follow. Wouldn't say it's a must listen, but it's a good entry.
15. Kyruss - Welcome to Sky Valley (1994) A [3 listens A-/A/A] Josh Homme from his original band and the "birth" of the Desert Rock genre. Solid album, I like the atmosphere it creates as a laid back, background album. Complete opposite of QQTSA in where it's like wandering down a barren "desert", instead of a isolated highway listening to a radio station. It works. Nothing here will jump out at you, but it's very clear that that's not the intent with it. Idk if I'd say it's a must listen, as I can see it being called uneventful. But it's a good listen if you want some background music with some grit to it.
16. Swans - Soundtracks for the Blind (1996) A+ [2 listens A+/A+] the last Swans I'm going to listen to as I didn't care much for To Be Kind, so I imagine I'm not gonna like any of their other stuff. This is in a different direction, where it doesn't even seem to be "music" at times. This makes GY!BE appear accessible in comparison. This is like flicking through the channels on a TV in this weird, strange motel in the middle of nowhere. A lot of dull, drawn out moments that actually work this time around, as it helps paint a better scene of this eldritch-like world it's in. If it had more of those spontaneous, random fully formed tracks, I'll love it more, however their sporadic appearances make them more special when they're coming out of nowhere. This is rare project where I feel that more listens would lower my love for it, as that unpredictability of it is its greatest strength.
17. Duster - Stratosphere (1998) A [3 listens A/A/A] VERY lofi with its low quality mixing. It's the pacing of Shoegaze without the distortion and the blasé attitude of Slacker Rock without the traditional song structure, to a point where it's closest to Post Rock but still has that character of your favorite 90s Indie Rock band (I'm also lost as well). RYM calls it Slowcore, which I find kinda cool. This is like if depression was an album; all the ebbs and flows of your mood slowly dropping, staying at a low point, that occasional optimism and right back into that shallow pit of somber, where you managed to make a somewhat cozy cottage due to you being there for so many times. Slowest part of a Built to Spill album, with a budget of $18 for production, bring a singer with possible self-esteem issues and tell them to make a 50 min lullaby to get a shoegaze-loving kid to sleep. I'm all out of metaphors.
18. Gustavo Cerati - Bocanada (1999) A+ [3 listens A+/A+/A+] another album I can't quite remember how it got on my list, but Trip Hop is another one of those genres that outside of Massive Attack and Portishead that I have very little experience with. Even though the lyrics are in a foreign language, it didn't hurt the overall experience of the album (it have may limited it being better though). Melancholy in his voice and the music, contrasting with the Trip Hop style. Tabu, Rio Babel, and Pasco Immoral are the ones that I recommend checking out if the runtime can be off-putting to some; but it's well worth the journey. Wonderful album that I'm glad I came across.
19. Immolation - Close to a World Below (2000) A [4 listens A+/A/A/A] Better than most Death Metal. Love that the vocalist is slow with his pace (he was great!), along with a solid and steady guitar riffs. I really dislike that drum sound (banging on the toms), but that's a hurdle it feels like you have to overcome to really get into the genre itself. Any of the first 4 songs and Lost Passion are worth checking out.
20. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2001) B+ [3 listens B++/B++/B+] I get why they're labeled Blues Rock. Maybe I didn't notice it before, but he sings like John Lennon, where he constantly on that upper octave (which is well out of their ranges) and they crack notes a lot. It's charming to a certain degree, but I don't think it really works with this heavy style. My biggest issue with it is that it's doing multiple things at once, instead of separately. The loud songs are too understated, as Union or Offend should be a bigger, hard, fast paced songs but instead have slow sections. They have this heavy guitar for no reason. We're going to Be Friends and This Protector being tender songs, when it's full acoustic and has a consistent theme, further adds to the lack of uniformity. Also, songs rarely change/switch up, which normally isn't that big of a issue, but when they're all 3+ minutes long, they all drag on. I know what a "perfect version" sounds like from them, so a lot of missteps feel more obvious than if it was blind to me, but I'm not super invested in this album, even with the number of listens.
21. Muse: i. Absolution (2003) A++ [5 listens A++/A+/A++/A++/A++] what if Radiohead chose to stay in 1997? What is it with these Post BritPop bands with incredible sophomore releases? Similarly to Coldplay, I didn't care much for Origin of Symmetry and had low expectations going into this. I don't know if I'm being too generous as only about 3 or 4 of these songs are really strong, however none are what I'd consider skips. This album is so damn tight in its tracklist. Some of the best collections of hooks and bridges ever. The singing isn't always on point, but the way they nail down the perfect formula for every song overshadows most of their faults in not being too special in any particular category. ii. Black Holes and Revelations (2006) A++ [3 listens A/A++/A++] Back to back bangers?! This one is probably my favorite, especially with how strong the second half of the album is. All the songs are great, but aren't straight retreads of what Absolution brought with the varied added instruments. Again, nothing they're doing is otherworldly, but they execute the structures of all of the songs so perfectly, that you tend to ignore the mediocrity of the band members' skills individually. They're the sum of their parts; heavily carried by their collaboration with the songwriting. These two albums are BARLEY A++ though... so if I give these two A++s, then I'm going to retroactively make Ok Computer a "Masterpiece", because it doesn't sit right with me with them being on the same level. Great pair of albums; y'all sleeping on Muse?
22. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004) B+ [3 listens B+/B++/B+] okay, this is emo, like legit emo pop. TBP had a bigger theatrical element infused in its identity, whereas this has all of its personality in its lyrics. And the lyrics are very... tbh cringe. Songs go in too long; great choruses and lyrics, but having the same structure over and over is too repetitive for me to really get into it. It's very melodramatic, particularly in the singing, which at least does make it a compelling listen. I just wish the music followed suit as well. He is also too frantic in his performance, where on TBP it is limited to a few songs. Maybe this is the line where it is too raw.
23. Joanna Newsom: i. YS (2006) B- [2 listen A-/B-] DENSE AS FUCK. Makes Bob Dylan look like an haiku writer. Each song is a storybook, that requires heavy attention. Music itself is not too impressive outside its complexity in the instrumentation. This non-stop, continuous nature of her singing is the major turn off. To a point where it's very hard to follow any story she's trying to paint and the entire thing feels tiring. I do like the harp playing and the orchestral spurts that brighten phrases, but that's the only positive I can come up with. Big disappointment and kinda soured me on her going forward. However, I decided on a whim to give her one more try and.... ii. The Milk Eyed Mender (2004) Masterpiece [3 listens A++/MP/MP] being majorly disappointed with YS, I decided to try her more stripped down Debut before completely writing her off, as the albums following YS are very long listens. And it turns out I actually enjoy this much more; matter of fact, I can't find any flaws within it: ZERO. Yes, her voice is even more of a sore thumb when most of the attention is on it (those harmonies on Peach Plum and Pear sound like Nightmare Fuel tbh). But if I can call Blonde on Blonde a perfect album, I can give a pass to her voice. Her flow in the songs are SOOO much better, that it makes YS looks even worse in that department. The harp playing isn't grand, but subdued in line with her wandering through each song; ebbing and flowing along with her energy in each track. Her cadence and timbre in how she sings is second to none her.
24. The Beach Boys: Brian Wilson Presents Smile (2005) A- [2 listens A/A-] most of my thoughts on in the Sessions review, as his worned voice hampered the album. I will say this imo would've bombed in 1967; baroque ballads, no rock lol. It would've kicked started Progressive Rock about 5 years sooner, but it wouldn't have made such a huge splash considering the trend all of music was already headed in at that point. This feels more like a live album / The Smile Sessions (2011) A++ [5 listens A/A/A+/A+/A++] BWPS felt like a monkey Brian needed to finally get off his back. A personal album made by Brian himself, whereas BWPS kinda feels like the "gift" to the world that SMiLE was promised as. This still has that youthful, tender energy of creation, where it's unabashedly open with its oddities. Kind of like how Beach Boys Today! was a left turn in their careers, this would've been that for Pet Sounds. BWPS was trying to meet SMiLE's high expectations; this is more honest. The harmonies are so warm, with the perfect blend of pathos. There's more playful instruments in the background that make the whole thing feel more playful. A few of the mixes aren't done well - "Wistful" is the best way to describe this project. Good vibrations finally "fits" inside an album; we can all die in peace now. It's too baroque to be really accessible and too Prog to have real standout hit singles. But as a confined experience, BY FAR the best the Beach Boys have made... or uhm would've made.
25. Sweet Trip - You Will Never Know Why (2009) A++ [4 listens A-/A++/MP/A++] ...I wish I didn't look up the background of this band before I listened to this. I went into Velocity Design and Comfort fully blind and while it's not the exact style I'm personally into, it's still so unique in what it brought, that I still think of it fondly. That is until I learned about one of the band members. The thing people don't understand about the "separate the art from the artist" thing is that is isn't because of a sense of "morally superiority", it's that every time I listen or consume the art.... I can't NOT think of them and what happened. I enjoyed this album a lot, but most of my time listening, my mind was clearly distracted. I was dying for them to go fully into the Electronic-Jangle Pop space they only would briefly explore on VDC. Valerie Cooper's singing is still SO awe inspiring and freezes you in time, easily the greatest part of the music. The only flaw is that it has only a handful of jingles that really grip me. Also, no entire song pulls me in the whole run, it's only really the chorus and occasionally the transitions between tracks (which are outstanding btw) which was also an issue with the VDC. If it was also a tad bit heavier in certain moments, that would've helped me overlook a lot of this minor flaws. Phenomenal album and perfect follow up, but it's gonna take some time before I can revisit this, as it's hard to mentally disassociate the individual from the music while it's so fresh in my mind.
Bonus Albums: (shorter reviews)
• Yellow Magic Orchestra - Solid State Survivor (1979) A [3 listens B/A/A] colorful and joyful. Sounds like this was the singular inspiration of every Nintendo soundtrack from the 80s and 90s lol. Liked the slow parts, but the bouncy songs are very fun to listen to. Low stakes but still aged wonderfully.
• Gary Numen - The Pleasure Principal (1979) B [2 listens B+/B] futuristic, yet undefined. Weird vocal style is kinda weird, not everyone can pull it off like David Byrne or Devo. Isn't jovial enough like YMO nor is breaking any new ground with the layout like Kraftwerk to compensate for its simplicity. Cars was a nice surprise tho.
• Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark - Architecture and Morality (1981) A- [3 listens B++/A-/A-] finally a legit "Pop" singer. Synths are used as an aesthetic and not a crutch, now starting to feel like a more modern (or 80s I guess) style. Joan of Arc and Souvenir are my favorites. Good, but nothing too incredible.
• Tears for Fears - Songs from the Big Chair (1985) A++ [2 listens A++/A++] holy hell, way way better than I expected it would be. I knew the two popular songs, but they were more denser and bigger than I assumed they were. The production here is so lush and wide, immediately obvious they were very "familiar" with the technology by then. I will be adding more of their albums for more detailed reviews on a future list. (Prob the Hurting and Seeds)

I've been a hobbyist linguist for the past 15 years, and I've started to notice some interesting patterns in the way languages work. I'm unaware of any prior art on the specifics of what I'm saying, so take your grain of salt ahead of time and just have fun.
One of the ideas that's been rolling around in my head for a while now is the idea of the frontier: Places where no rules have been established because no one knows enough about the world to say what ought to be. A place where pragmatists can't argue from a supposed "self-evident" point of view and crush everything else under their wheel as though they were Lord Jagannath. When writing was new, for example, it wasn't necessarily clear to anyone that a purely phonetic alphabet was the pragmatic ideal, and so through history we see a lot of experimentation with writing systems, including ones based on tying knots. There are far more channels for communicating with symbols than just sounds, and this is where writing verges heavily into cryptography
A while back I wrote the phrase "I believe this is meant to deceive", and I noticed the rhyme on "believe" and "deceive" paired interestingly with how the 'i's and the 'e's flipped in the words. It made me wonder how much of English's odd spelling rules might be the leftovers of a cryptographic tradition that used spelling as a kind of checksum, like how supposedly Genghis Khan issued orders in rhyme to prevent telephone game shenanigans.
Rhyming itself is interesting as a checksum because I've long noted an impulse in my head to be disappointed when clever rhymes are used to lie, as though the precense of a rhyme should imply some aspect of truth. This is an infuriating intuition because it sounds absurd, the kind of thing you'd be afraid to admit to people because it would make you sound like you're easily manipulated. Why would that possibly be a reasonable thing to assume? And I got a potential answer once I realized that for a lot of history oral traditions served the same function as literacy does today, but with a much higher risk of corruption. Mnemonics would be essential for keeping knowledge alive, so rhymes and other catchy ways of making sounds would be closely associated with your people's oral traditions, and yet there would also be cause to defend against just any catchy rhyme causing a memetic infestation. Phrases like "sounds too good to be true" might be more literal than is commonly thought today.
There is a feature of rhyme that I believe might provide a good, though imperfect, defence against poisoned wisdom, which is the fact that the corpus of words available to you very heavily affects what is possible to say in a flowing rhyming mode. Words that got abused to speak rhyming lies too often may have become taboo, and from there you get a selection effect that could cause the graph of what words rhyme to implicitly contain a large portion of a society's oral knowledge. If this goes on long enough, then you might start to see algebraic properties in the spoken languages where symbolic transformations still lead to correct statements, even when the process feels divorced from reality. Math notation is like this, actually. It is a natural language, a written one, that supports symbolic computation.
It is my belief that computation of this kind is an inevitable property of language to deal with the problems of imperfect transmission and lying. You don't get sophisticated language without caring about truth and falsehood. What's interesting to me is that the impulse we have to perform symbolic optimizations on code feels related to the ubiquity of Zipf's law in language making common sentiments more efficient to say, which I believe is also one of the important mnemonic mechanisms behind oral traditions. "If you can't say it quickly, then it better be worth my time. If it's worth my time, then why isn't it already possible to say quickly?" A compiler's maturation cycle might then be far more comparable to a natural language's maturation cycle, at least in my concept of how these things work, than we realize.
Zipf's law also shows a tendency towards the "self-evident" pragmatic point of view, which would have a stifling effect on being able to talk about new ideas that aren't easy to get past any "sounds good to me" heuristic checksums the language might have. In this way I would expect new programming languages to be as inevitable as new natural languages every time something drastic changes in the environment and opens up a new frontier. Sometimes old languages can adapt, and other times a new language will be crowned king.
What esolangs have more value than we know? What value is there in looking for ways to control computers without using language? What new frontiers are opening up in the world, and which ones might not be compatible with our current programming language concepts? A decent programming language that can be spoken aloud would be really nice to have.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
It started with the animals.
Hunters noticed populations dwindling rapidly and inexplicably in our little patch of the enclave. Rumors spread of deers hobbling around riddled with tumors that burst from their backs or splitting their faces in twain. One was said to have been rendered completely immobile, more tumor than deer.
And then people began disappearing. Homes broken into, signs of a struggle, toppled furniture painted red with blood, but with no other trace of the families which lived there.
The fed’s coverup job was as impressive as it was terrifying to see. Seeing how efficiently those men in black worked — the media blackout, the disappearances, the patrols through the night enforcing some unspoken curfew — it made me wonder what else they’ve covered up in the past, to have become this experienced. But it was a huge pit for all those precious taxpayer dollars, and parents were withdrawing their kids from the program en masse. I couldn’t deny it: the Integration Initiative was falling apart.
The headmistress was a shell of a woman. Hollowed out, eyes sunken. Exhausted. I could only imagine how the feds must be screaming in her ear to get the situation handled now, or the truce is off. I saw her sat in her office with a glass of scotch she hadn’t taken a single sip off, staring off into the middle distance. “What is that phrase you humans say? No good deed goes unpunished?”
Her voice was hoarse and dry. “Once, I pulled down merchant ships into the depths of the caribbean. Nothing mattered but my own hunger. For centuries, it was a simple life.” She finally took a swig of her scotch. “To be a thing of horror was easy. It was to be free and without worries. But now that I’ve chosen to live like this, to try to be kind, to try to sow peace between our peoples… look what has become of it. What has become of me.”
I finally noticed what she was staring at: a photo on the wall of that familiar little boy with the dirty blonde hair. Elijah.
I wanted to hold her hand and deliver some rousing speech about how doing the right thing is never easy. But to be honest, I was thinking the same thing. What the hell am I doing here? I’m not cut out for any of this. I kept telling myself — today’s the last day. I’m going to quit for sure… tomorrow.
And then I’d get something like what happened this morning, when Katie walked up to me clutching her favorite little plush butterfly. “You know, Mister Vermeil, all this stuff with Saladin, it’s all been really scary,” she said. “But you know what? Every time I’m in your classroom, stuff doesn’t seem so scary anymore.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh huh! Every time I’m scared, I just think about what you say to me.” She puffed out her chest and lowered her voice, trying her best to imitate me. “Katie, if you ever feel sad or scared, just remember… somebody out there cares about you!”
And then I smiled and we gave eachother a fist bump, and as she ran off, I realized I could never quit this place. How could I?
I had to walk into class yesterday with a cane, limping with every step in whatever fashion least aggravated the aching pain in my chest, where multiple shattered ribs had been restored by some arcane process. The tumors left a thick, bumpy ridge of scar tissue along my chest, and my neck was still far longer than it used to be. Looking in the mirror, I realized I barely even looked… human. I tried not to think about it.
Class had only just barely begun when the headmistress strutted in with a sudden energy to her step, her hands clasped together, and something I never thought I’d see on her face: a big, beaming grin. The kids were just as awed as I was as she replaced me at the head of the class. “I apologize for the interruption, Mister Vermeil, but I think you’ll agree that the announcement I have for you all justifies my intrusion.” She cleared her throat. “My beloved pupils, it is with pleasure that I announce to you that the notorious hunter known as Saladin… has finally been brought to justice.”
In an instant, the classroom was alive with frantic whispers and sighs of relief, until the headmistress silenced them with a raise of her hand. Even I couldn’t believe it. Everything we’ve been through, all that suffering and terror… it was all over? It almost seemed… anticlimactic. I was so filled with relief, I had to dap my cheeks with a napkin to staunch the threat of tears.
Apparently, the hunter had gotten too overconfident. Tried to take out one of the kids while they were in the process of being withdrawn from the Initiative, while surrounded by dozens of agents. Even he couldn’t escape the wrath of Uncle Sam, and I almost pitied him for whatever’s being done to him in some black site somewhere.
The smiles spread through the classroom like a disease, and even I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. Our long shared nightmare was over. Everything would go back to whatever ‘normal’ meant nowadays. “I know it must have been driving you all crazy, being so cooped inside all the time,” the headmistress said, “so I say we celebrate by getting some fresh air. What do you say?” The class’ answer was unanimous.
It wasn’t until we were out in the halls that I started getting a weird feeling in the back of my mind. Where were all the security agents? Why did she waltz into my class in particular to announce the news, instead of using the PA system? How could Saladin have made such a stupid mistake? It all came to a head when I realized she was leading us into those access tunnels.
“Now, hold on, wait a minute.” I suddenly froze in place. “You— want us to go through there? Are you sure that’s safe? Why not just—”
“Oh, come now, Mister Vermeil. I’m just leading them to a particularly beautiful mountain view. Don’t you think they’ve earned it?” She smiled at me again. I didn’t like it. The headmistress never smiled.
I felt I couldn’t even steal a single gasp of air in those tunnels. My experience there was the most traumatic of my life, and just being in those tight halls made my heart pound. But it wasn’t long before we’d all emerged out of one of the side entrances, dotted seemingly arbitrarily along the mountainsides as if they once connected to chambers since deemed obsolete. And I must admit, it was beautiful. I savored the sight of the flock of crows rallying around the long, shimmering beam that was a waterfall peeking out from the cliff face before us, visible even through that impermeable mountain fog...
… and the sound of the metal security door slamming shut behind us.
I turned to see the headmistress’ face pressed against the glass. No, not hers. Someone else’s. Someone familiar.
It made sense. If he could alter his physiology at will, surely he could imitate that of another person. Yet still, I was dumbstruck. It was all I could do blather idiotically, “I… I didn’t know you could do that.”
“I’m trying new things, Mister Vermeil.” His voice rang clear even with the metal door between us. “You should feel proud, you know. It’s not often I run into someone who forces me to innovate.”
And then, from down the mountainside, that terrible roar. The gurgles and guttural creaks of something vibrating some great and malformed vocal chords. The crash of trees being knocked over as something tears down a forest path.
I only caught glimpses of it beneath us, through that fog. The silhouette of a thing so weighed by mounds and stumps of oozing tissues that it’s bent and hunchbacked, crawling on hands and knees like a newborn babe. Teratomas having grown from mere fingernails to entire arms and hands and limbs and faces, which themselves were then consumed by tumors and left swollen with the throbbing spherical stromas of cancerous mass. And poking free from that anathema to all beauty was that tubelike head, that Lamprey maw of teeth longer than our arms and a throat that could swallow us all whole.
It was heaving and letting out those deep, roaring goans as it pulled itself up the mountainside, transfixed by the promise of prey, like the taste of us was all that could quiet its writhing agonies.
There were paths from our perch back up to the school proper, but they were steep — it wasn’t quite a sheer climb, but it wasn’t far from being one, either. I wish I could say that I was the big, bad hero who shepherded all my students up the mountainside. In truth, they left me in the dust. Even average kids were impossibly swift and energetic, and these were no average kids. The class took off up the slope like it was trivial, while I huffed and panted and scrambled up the rocks behind them, realizing all those days I’d skipped the gym would now be the death of me.
“Mister Vermeil! Grab my hand!” Suddenly, an arm distended at least twenty feet lurched out at me from over the cliff face. Billy, I realized. I took his hand, and the grotesque arm retracted like a fishing line reeling in a catch, lifting me as if I was weightless.
The school came into view, but that cancerous leviathan was outpacing us. Horror rocked me as I felt the very earth shake as it dug its limbs into the mountainside below to use like climbing axes, bile spewing from its esophageal tube as it roared with an intransigent hunger. We weren’t going to make it. It was too vast, too powerful.
And there she was before us: the headmistress.
Her face was one of grim determination as she faced down the beast pursuing us. She was clad only in a gold-seamed robe, and in one easy motion, she cast it aside and let it vanish with the wind. For a moment, I froze in horror as her skin began to crack and break like a porcelain doll. Then I noticed the tips of tendrils poking out from the cracks, something working its way free from beneath her flesh like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, and I remembered that terrible leviathan I had once seen in her shadow.
We had just passed by her when her human body broke apart completely, and black tendrils as thick as tree stumps tore forth from all directions, as if glad to be finally freed from that prison of flesh and bone. I could not tell where it began and ended; I know only that it rivaled the Cancer in sheer scale. I tried not to look at her — her true self, not the disguise she’d been donning. I kept my eyes forward even as behind us came the great roaring of beasts and the shaking of the earth as the two colossi slammed into one another.
I grabbed a shotgun off the corpse of a security agent as we re-entered the school, for all the good that would do. My students gawked at me in awe. They’d never seen me like this before. “There’s supposed to be a safe room on the west wing. All we can do is wait it out while the headmistress handles that — that thing,” I commanded. “Go! Now!”
I followed along as they scrambled down the halls, although I made a detour, scrounging around through the headmistress’ office and tucking something beneath my jacket before rejoining the kids. Students from the other classes, seeing the herd, would occasionally emerge from their hiding places and join them. Every child had been packed into the safe room when I heard another voice down the hall. It was Abigail, rushing forth to join us. “Wait! Mister Vermeil! You forgot about me!”
It was impossible. I’d kept a careful headcount of every child, to ensure none were left behind. In an instant, I raised the shotgun and unloaded it into the face of the thing pretending to be Abigail.
“You’re not going to fool me twice.”
The thing bent over backwards from the force of the gunshot, to the point the top of its head rested against the ground behind its feet. Then it sprung instantly back to a standing position, its flesh beginning to twist and meld, the cruel cackle of Saladin emerging from its bullet-shredded lips. “Maybe you really are smarter than I give you credit for, Vermeil.”
I slammed the safe room’s door shut behind me, and stood there with my gun pointed at it, the kids all cowering behind me. There’s a silence for a while, punctuated only by the building shuddering upon its foundations as the leviathans fought outside. Then came a slow, rhythmic tapping on the door. “All I have to do is wait you out, Vermeil,” came the voice. “Sooner or later, one of those kids with you is going to get… hungry. And when they start getting desperate, you’re going to look like a nice, juicy steak.”
“Why are you doing this?” I called. “Just for… what, the money? I’m sure, whatever they’re paying you, the feds can quadruple it.”
“It’s not just about the money. I consider this more of a… self-funding hobby. Clearing these creatures off the streets before they even have a chance to grow up and hurt anyone.”
“Don’t act like you have the moral high ground, here. Not after what you did to all those people. Feeding them to the Cancer just to… what, fuel your little crusade? Was that just collateral damage to you?”
That seemed to actually tick him off. “Those deaths are on you, not me! You’re the one who forced my hand! None of this would have happened if you just—”
“Leave them alone! They’re just children!”
“They’re monsters, Vermeil. Demons in human skin. They’re designed to kill and devour people like you.”
“I don’t care what they are.” I pumped the shotgun. “They’re my kids. And I’m not letting you hurt a single one of them.”
My heroics were interrupted, however, by what felt like a category 5 earthquake rocking me off of my feet. It seemed those titans outside had come crashing into the school amid their brawl, tendrils and cancerous limbs tearing into the very foundations. For a moment, it felt like the entire structure would crumple in on itself and crush us like bugs. It was only by the grace by whatever gods may be that only the other wing of the school was destroyed, although some blackened tentacle tore a hole right through the wall of the safe room.
Everyone and everything in the room lay in a cluttered heap. When I managed the strength to arise, Saladin was standing over me. That big grin on his face. My students were quivering with fear. I knew that, with their strength, if they all attacked at once, they could tear him to pieces. But they were frozen in place, because in the end, human or not, they were just kids; terrified children faced with a man who wanted to hurt them. They couldn’t defend themselves. Someone had to step up and protect them.
“Last chance, Vermeil,” he said. “You’ve proven yourself competent. I could use someone with your… talents.”
I didn’t bother bantering. I just raised the shotgun and blew a baseball-sized hole through his chest.
It didn’t even slow him down, of course. The wound healed almost as quickly as it came. But it did infuriate him, and he came stomping towards me. Good, I thought. Get closer. I need you closer. I managed to blow a few more holes in him before he smacked the shotgun out of my chest with one hand, and curled his fingers around my neck with the other.
I gasped and wheezed as he strangled me, lifting me off the ground as his grip on my throat tightened. Tears streamed down my face as my vision darkened. “Maybe you aren’t that smart after all,” he taunted. “What a shame. But maybe things are better this way. After all, you might be happier down there in hell, surrounded by all these demons you gave up your life protecting.”
And then, that smug grin was wiped off his face by the feeling of something piercing through his chest.
With an almost drunken stumble, he looked slowly down to see the damascened dagger, driven right through his heart. I’d snuck it from the headmistress’ office, tucked it in my jacket, just in case I had the opportunity to end him with his own weapon.
His grip relaxed, and I fell to the floor, gasping and wheezing and sucking down fresh air. A black ichor spouted from his heart, around the throbbing wound that even he, with his powers of the flesh, could not heal. He laid there, staring up at the ceiling, laughing to himself as if at the absurdity of it all. “Clever man,” he whispered. “Clever, clever.”
And then the children descended upon him, and the screaming began.
I was still flickering in and out of consciousness when the kids crowded around me, concerned looks on their faces. When I finally found the strength to look down at myself, I almost fainted at what I saw.
My flesh had been twisted, knotted, calcified upon my chest where I had hidden the blade beneath my jacket, forming a hard crust of thick flesh that ran down my arm where the blade had merged with my hand. A sort of black mucormycosis oozed through cracks in callous flesh like groundwater in the sahara. It was still changing, evolving, like something was growing upon me. I could tell I was being fundamentally changed, but I couldn’t tell how, or into what.
A couple students hefted my arms over their shoulders, and escorted my limp form through the smoldering wreckage that had once been our school. And in front of the building, surrounded by the mangled flesh that was once the Cancer, was a creature so immense that she was half veiled in the fog, a half-formed amorphous mass of stygian flesh and long black tendrils, a single blue eye the size of a building staring down at me from all that darkness. I couldn’t help but smile and wave weakly at her. So this is what the headmistress had been hiding under her skin, all along.
Together, we all watched the school burn, whatever sections still remained crumbling one by one as the fire smoldered. The children kept watch on me as my body reformed itself, bones and joints cracking and reforming painlessly but uncomfortably as my figure morphed. Katie sat by my side, watching the fire consume the place she’d spent the happiest years of her short life. “It’s not over,” she said. “We’ll find somewhere new. Rebuild. Make a new school, far away from here.”
I frowned at that, imagining them finding somewhere new and leaving us all behind. But it was for the best. “I’ll miss you all,” I whispered, weakly.
She tilted her head. “What do you mean, Mister Vermeil? You’re coming with us.”
My gaze drifted down to my reflection in a shard of broken glass on the pavement. My shifting, smoldering, twisted form. I looked monstrous. I looked unnatural. I looked… inhuman.
“After all,” she said with a smile. “You’re one of us, now.”

Do we have a MTG catchphrase for starting a game?
For too long now, Yu-Gi-Oh, Cardfight Vanguard, and games like them have had one thing over us.
And that is a cool starting catchphrase! Yu-Gi-Oh has "It's time to du-du-du-du-dududududu-duel", "Pot of Greed! Which allows me to draw TWO cards from my deck", Vanguard has "dude i swear these characters are over 18" etc. Now these phrases mostly come from their respective shows which sadly to my knowledge we haven't gotten. Idk what happened to that announced Netflix one.
But in my experience despite all our terms we've created for every aspect of this game, milling, commanders, bolt, looting, etc, I've never heard of anyone using a catchy phrase in any of my games.
We need to change that! If you guys have any catchphrases that you use in your games, what are they? Or have any of you come up with ones to use like, "u okay with my custom commander Kuka Beyo?"
We have to one up Yu-Gi-Oh in this realm! Even with the imo superior gameplay, we have to beat them in the realm of cheesy lines!