How to get into gf revenge

I finished this book in around 5/6 days.
RJ went out with a high!
Wow. So many great moments and storylines in this book, storylines being resolved even! All great except a few chapters of Elayne in the middle of the book. RJ is back to his old form, with great characterisation and stuff happens for once!?! Unbelievable.
You can really feel the story torpedoing to Tarmon Gai’don, I can’t wait.
Here are some thoughts on this book:
Nynaeve
Nynaeve loves, trusts, and feels for Lan so much; I can’t help but tear when she rallies for Malkier. Favourite scene of the whole series personally, involving my favourite characters.
“My husband rides from World’s End to Tarwin’s Gap, toward Tarmon Gai’don. Will he ride alone?
CHILLS!!!
Also, give me more Nynaeve, she needs more page time.
Perrin
Great ending to a sometimes lacking storyline (just Faile’s PoV), and it has ended with Perrin ready for the time ahead with his beloved and the shaido finally disappeared, forever hopefully.
Perrin was so blind to everything but Faile this book. Ignoring the signs of Tarmon Gai’don for the one he loves. This obviously isn’t healthy, but I understand him; his whole family died and she is the one who filled the gaps in his heart, if she died I doubt Perrin would ever recover from it.
I guess Aram isn’t a darkfriend as I previously speculated, just a man who is very susceptible to being manipulated. An abrupt ending to someone who got introduced in the first book, and later become a reoccurring character. His descent was quite tragic though; died trying to kill the man who helped him get back on his feet many times over just because of one man’s manipulation. Fuck Masema.
Rolan and the other two brotherless’ death was unjustified but I can’t blame Perrin for killing him. Adrenaline pumping through his veins and he sees 3 men standing between him and his wife. It was bound to end in blood. However, while Rolan was a bit of a creep at times he didn’t deserve to die like that after helping Faile. Now that I think about it though, he was sort of trying to steal her from Perrin, Rolan’s death was inevitable.
Tam finally learned that Rand is the dragon reborn, after I think around 3 years. I would have expected he would know by now, but I guess the two rivers is notorious for being secluded and only getting information from peddlers.
Perrin and seanchan captain has a quite nice mutual respect for each other, another bridge to seanchan relations has been built.
After all these deaths, failures, and triumphs, Perrin and Faile are finally reunited! I am interested to see where the story goes with them, maybe they will go after Masema?
Mat
Mat is always an enjoyable read, and now he has accepted that he can’t escape his luck and the battlefield, Mat now just tries to work out a way to make as little people die as possible.
I have to talk about Moiraine first of course. She is confirmed to be alive, which I hoped for and expected. However, didn’t expect it to take this many books. I have been waiting to long for this, I missed her so much and I am excited for her to be back hopefully soon.
Mat and Tuon are my second favourite couple so far, after Nynaeve and Lan, they have a great dynamic!
From the start Mat knew that he would marry Tuon, but she was slowly deciphering whether this man was truly who she would marry. She did ask many seemingly random questions which was a big giveaway. The build up was worth it though, she completely confuses Mat by doing it out of the blue and revealing her prophecies from her damane. Hilarious moment!
I feel Tuon growing on me but then I remember that she agrees with slavery and leashing those who can channel. I am conflicted on her, but maybe she will change. We have a love-hate relationship.
Mat, please just go free Moiraine already. Please.
Rand
While he hasn’t had the spotlight for a few books, his chapters are always full of major plot points and revelations which are always great.
Lews Therin is creeping in like a parasite, taking control of the power and Rand even confuses his thoughts with Lews Therin. One lack of control and that could be it for Min or others around him. Disturbing thoughts.
One minute I was watching a lovely wedding between Loial and Erith, the next there is thousands of trollocs outside the window. The juxtaposition is crazy.
The new weaves are really powerful, it can’t be nice for random dead trollocs to appear outside your house though.
Did Semirhage expect to defeat Rand? I think there is some other plot she has. Semirhage went down too easy for that to be her only plan. Potentially trying she is trying manipulate his allies to go to the shadow. Or like many of the forsaken are just arrogant.
Hoping that Rand gets his hand back, I loved Rands swordplay and It will absolutely cause issues. Surely he can use the power to create a fake hand.
Breaks my heart, to see Rand so calm after all he goes through. Poor guy. Cadsuane needs to teach Rand to feel again and quickly!
Seanchan truce incoming. Rand will now see what Mat has been up to while he has been battling the forsaken.
Egwene
Thoroughly enjoyed her political manoeuvrings around the white tower, slowly planting seeds of dissent between the different layers of aes sedai. Egwene is great at scheming and manipulation; she is a genius. Not the best person though.
I have a lot of respect for Egwene. Multiple strappings a day, and she carries on twisting the aes sedai, what a powerhouse!
Egwene is consistently interesting to me, I think she will play a big part over the next few books.
Elayne
Elayne was great late in the book, while lacking a bit at the start.
She was overconfident this book, just because she won’t die any time soon (min’s viewing) doesn’t mean she can’t be captured. It was very reckless to just burst into the BA’s house and expect to live.
I loved Vandene getting her revenge on Careane, what a way to go, her short storyline was amazing. Amazing but tragic.
I found it weird how an aes sedai sent by Elaida just stormed in, said Elayne would regret sending her away and ran off. There had to be something larger going on with her.
Problem after problem kept pilling up, but she dealt with them with resilience and it somewhat worked out. A true queen if I ever saw one.
Other
Rand has caused a whole civilisation to kill themselves. Let’s hope he never finds that out. This was a really horrifying moment, left my mouth open for a while.
Taim is not a forsaken, but just a very high ranking dark friend it seems. He must be very high ranking to know about the lord of chaos. What if he is a newly raised forsaken? Only the forsaken know about the lord of chaos, not regular dark friends. I don’t know how one would raise a darkfriend though, does it come with new abilities or just being closer to the dark one?
RJ is great at the small details however he doesn’t touch upon the slavery stuff, which I find weird. Could just be me though.
Overall
This book ends so many dragging storylines, I can’t wait for the next!
I’m sad this is the last Robert Jordan book, but I’ve heard that Brandon ended it well, I watched a few videos on him and read his eulogy on RJ and he seems very kind and admires RJ a lot. I don’t know how his writing style is though, maybe someone can give me an idea of how it compares to RJ?
It is tragic RJ couldn’t finish his series by himself though, but glad someone was found to finish it.
just don’t mess up Nynaeve Brandon!
I probably missed a lot of plot points but I didn’t want this to be too long, and I want to read the next book already.
Book ranking so far - very susceptible to changing:

1. The Shadow Rising
2. The Fires of Heaven
3. The Lord of Chaos
4. The Dragon Reborn
5. Knife of Dreams
6. The Great Hunt
7. The Eye of the World
8. New Spring
9. A Crown of Swords
10. Winter’s Heart
11. The Path of Daggers
12. Crossroads of Twilight

Alright Apes,
I was out walking my dog, ready to get back home to go to sleep, and then it happened. I did one last check of superstonk to get my dopamine hit that is our community and well, I got more than I asked for. Now I have too much energy to sleep because I am so fucking hyped for what I found. So here I am.
This beautiful post popped up at nearly midnight my time.
When it said watch in reverse, I had mixed emotions because one of my favorite post was the one with the opening to the White Stripes glitch mob remix. Go watch the video if you haven’t already. That’s one of my favorite songs for very personal reasons and the idea that GME was about to unleash something that caused a glitch was very exciting to me. I wanted that to be the foreshadowing that RK left us with.
But I like every other GME theory I read, it consumes me. I’m obsessed. So what the heck, let’s go watch everything in reverse.
Lucky for me I realized very quickly that when you go to the X iphone app and watch the latest video in full screen, you can just swipe up to see the next video. So, the next hour of my night was planned out.
That was an hour ago. I am so hyped about what I saw that I’ve decided to sit down and write out the my whole interpretation of what I saw. I don’t have answers for every single post but there does seem to be a theme that matches the theory that these are meant to watch in reverse.
Buckle up.
One last things before I get started. I think DFV has been here all along. I think he has read all of the DD and I think he made his memes with all of that in mind. I highly doubt he knows anything for sure but is just a fan of the DD. Just like I am. And there is one DD I fell in love with from the first moment I read it. I think he did too and this is his thesis. He has read all the tea leaves and doesn't think anyone has put it together like he has so he is sharing his interoperation of the DD, the market conditions, and the news and is going to do one last DD himself.
Ok. Here we go.
Oh, and this is not financial advice.
Ok. Here we go for real.
ET: This might actually be him saying goodbye for now. Hopefully not forever (still kinda sad we never got a ET 2).
Horse Gift: Not sure how to interpret this one. Maybe foreshadowing that he found (or was gifted) the GME bull thesis and at that point, he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing for a bad things. “We’ll see”
Coldplay Backwards: GME had to pull back for him to find the right time to get in.
Forest Running: And then it started running.
Original Sheet Music: Then he started meme. The memes were “MIRACULOUS”.
My favorite post – The White Stripes Glitch Mob video intro: Seriously, if you haven’t watched the video, go now. It’s hype af. This is the video that marks the Jan 2021 glitch. The sneeze.
MIB Kitty: And then GME became RK’s galaxy.
That’s not a Knife: He was the memelord at this point but shorties wanted his gains.
Westworld’s Bernard: Then the bear thesis’ started coming out but we can’t see what we are programed not to see. We were already programed at this point thanks to the bulleproof bull thesis.
Ocean’s Gang in Prison: And then we got thrown in a prison together when so many people bought at high prices.
Beavis and Butthead: We were obsessed with Cohen at this point. We hung on to every tweet. Sex for Dummies was a very popular one. Lot’s of theories popped up with this tweet.
A Few Good Men: DFV visits Congress!
Elaine Dancing: Is this him celebrating his gains and/or not getting thrown in prison?
Aladdin: They tried to take his gains away?
Truman > Mourinho’s In Big Trouble: He was gagged.
ASIP In Therapy: RK went to therapy and found he loved making memes and GME?
Newman: Talking about his experience as his new life as the United States GameStop memer and all the requests he was getting for memes.
Eddie Murphy: Chronicling his time as a memer
SNL The Shooting AKA Dear Sister: Not sure on this one.
Steve Wilkos: RK is ours and we are going to stick beside him
Succession: RK was reading so much about how he was the villain
Borne: More struggles with his identity as the GameStop memer and deciding what to do next.
CNBC > .50: Why does everyone hate RK?
The Dude: Not sure on this one.
Garden State: foreshadowing the jam that he’s about to get into this his next (older) posts
Every Everywhere All at Once: more foreshadowing.
Stand by Me: There’s a game of chicken going on. Shorts vs HODLers?
School of Rock: Reminding us what where here for. This journey isn’t going to be perfect but it’s Rock and Roll.
TeddyBears – Punk Rocker: He has both hands off the wheel now but he’s still along for the ride.
You Can’t Stop What’s Coming: Self-explanatory with likely last-minute cameo of the Chicago (where was Citadel founded?) BEARS thanks to the world’s most famous coke rat market manipulator.
Sicario 2: He’s asking us if we are ready to be the “villain” with him.
Flip Mode: If you really want to party with the Kitty, show him what you got (make some more memes people!!!)
The Shining: Our view of RK at work making his memes for the past 3 years.
500 days of Summer: Talking about why he does what he does. Because it’s going to last forever (more foreshadowing).
Luca: Him laughing at us not knowing everything. Just forget about it if you don’t understand, he has more for you.
Signs 1: This is where things get interesting. This is where we start seeing the signs. Connecting dots. We found something legit in all the DD.
Signs 2: The signs all pointed to GameStop. It’s all about GameStop and what they are going. Nothing else matters.
Signs 3: Are we the aliens? All of our best DD writers talking to each other were some of my favorite moments over the past 3 years. [There are theories about what these signs said and I will go back and fill that in later, I’m getting sleepy]
Signs 4: He is asking us if we believe the DD.
Signs 5: RK is one of us. Assuming we are the Aliens in these signs videos, he is telling us he is one of us.
The Modern Animal: We need to get a little crazy if we are going to take on the big city (NYC? Wall Street?)
Broad City: We made our own language. Memes. SuperStonk is a place for best friend with time to shoot.
GooseBumps: I THINK THIS IS WHERE WE ARE TODAY. RK is letting his briefcase of memes open and warning bears.
Everyone’s favorite Boss: Here some the SIGNS (memes for those who are not keeping up). He is going to his us ONE MORE TIME.
Pay Attention: NOW FUCKING PAY ATTENTION because he isn’t going to do this again.
Kill Bill: It’s time to fight and we are bad asses.
JigSaw + Kansas City Shuffle: Are you ready for the game? Because GameStop has you covered. Everything up to this point has been the inciting incident and catalyst of the Kansas City Shuffle. There is a very short scene where he says, “are you watching closely”? I saw a comments days ago that I can’t find and the very high level paraphrased version is that scene is from the Prestige and all of those hats were a result of him cloning himself. I think that represents the synthetics that plague our market. (I will find that comment that explains it better and go back to watch the movie myself and update this).
Shawshank: RK is telling us all it really takes is pressure and time to break out of their prison. While he was in prison, he went back to get his financial education. We also need an activist (investor, RC). There is a lot more nuance we can try to extrapolate form this one. I’ll save that for later.
Radiohead Karma Police: They have run the price down far enough. They have been leaking gas this whole time. It’s time for the match to be lit.
Neo: This is where Neo figures out how to work the matrix. The market is fake and everyone is mad. We all know it. When it comes to the market, we all took the red pill, and we see it for what it is.
Bullet Scene: Might need some help deciphering this one. I think it’s about how we (maybe not us but the general public) perceive the market. We see cause and effect but that’s now how it works. I think he is telling us that we don’t fully understand the market but our instincts are right and we just feel it. I think we as a community have that instinct.
Fury: Every boss is going to feel like the last one. They are going to pound us with misinformation, price manipulation, and anything else they can come up. But they are just taunting us to whoop some ass.
Trueman Show: They are going to hit us with everything they have but HOLD ON!
Me, Myself, & Irene: Them tanking the price is going to change how we feel and who we are.
Red Right Hand: Might need some help with this one too. The red hand man is stalking someone and the other person can’t do anything about it? Not sure who is who here.
Beat Saber: Might need some help with this too. Is he calling all freaks to show up because we are about to go to war?
Keith and Jake SNL: Everyone thinks Keith is crazy lol
Seinfeld: Calling out the memestock docs for being stupid. He had to some back and tell everyone to “Shut Up Bitch”
Shut Up Bitch: He delivers his best line to the people making him out to be a Vilian.
Coffee Mug Breaks: He is asking us to convince him to do it again.
Bane: RK is saying everything is going as planned.
Oceans (again): RK has been waiting for this time and it was all part of the plan.
Snoop: There was so much drama at GME. People had to be fired because they were someone dressed up as something else. Moles?
Spiderman: It’s time for Keith Gill to become Roaring Kitty again.
Pizza Slices: Guy on the left is a shorty. He is getting mad with how popular things got with the thesis and how many people bought.
Missy Elliot ft Luda: Giving us confidence that he has a worldwide audience and he is about to kill all the rumors.
In Love with RC: He is telling us that RC is the right guy. Don’t doubt him.
Guardians: Everyone already knows who is in charge. Stop fighting to be in charge.
CNBC again: Some of the misinformation actually said RK is in charge. He is not. He is busy drawing dicks (memes).
Oceans (again): I think he is saying that no one person is in charge. It took everyone to give GME all that money. Or maybe it AVOCADO-IN-MY-ANUS all along?
Breaking Bad: His side still hasn’t been told?
Fight Club: RK finally accepting he is DFV
Nice Guy: He is still a nice guy despite what people are saying.
Day and Night: I think he is talking about his struggles day and night over the last 3 years.
Dave: He could’ve ignored it all but he couldn’t stand it. He’s about to keep it real with us.
Star Wars: help me fill in the blank on this one.
Ozarks: help me fill in the blank on this one.
Grim Reaper: The hedgies are trying to figure out what is going on with GameStop. They are I a holding pattern and will be coming with more hitman when what happens in the rest of the tweets goes down.
*******This is where shit gets real********
The Prestige: Alright. Put your tinfoil hat on tight. Here is my interpretation of this one. The magician makes something disappear, but the audience wants to be fooled so we are not actually looking for the secret. So, when something disappears we don’t clap because it’s not as impressive. But as soon as it comes back, the fights is on**~. I think the NFT marketplace is going to come back~**. But I think it’s going to come back as something else. I think they built the blockchain infrastructure for something other than the NFT marketplace. That is when shit is going to go crazy. Don’t believe me, keep reading.
Brand New GME: They finally embrace what everyone has been calling them. They show up one day looking sexy as fuck and blow everyone’s minds.
Prisoner: And now the prisoner (GME’s true price) has true FFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.
The fallout: The hedgies are going to beg us to sell our shares at 14 grand but the nature of us is pure CRAZY. We all knew who was calling on the phone.
Parking Lot Killer: That is who was calling. They are coming for the bears.
Requel: And just like that the requel begins production.
Old Computer Game: Now the question is, with this brand new, sexy af version of GME are we selling or are we staying? I think it’s going to be so fucking amazing we “>Stay”
Kittyman: When this all goes down, RK will return again.
How did they do it?: GME (or we?) seems stupid but apparently whoever it is really good at paperwork and the RK is so happy he’s doing backflips.
What do they need to do it?: They are going to need all of us and the target is up. HODL.
Kingsman: Shorties will then be locked in the room with us and they are going to come in fierce numbers.
The Town: They need our help we can’t ask questions but we have some sick ass rides to get there with.
Morning Affirmation Cat: Help me with this one. I’m tired.
Troy: Sick ass scene. GME just needs to land the killshot.
Pikey Reaction: They pulled the price back so far that it’s a loaded spring and when the shots are fired, it’s going to be raining money. Now “come hang so we go out with a bang”. Does he have your attention now?
Stop Fighting: NOW we can stop fighting.
Pirates of the Carrabin: The Pirate comes back from the dead (NFT Market Place?) and GME presses the red button to go into hyperdrive. This solidified my theory.
Tombstone: It’s not for revenge. It’s for something bigger. It’s a reckoning. Maybe a Glass Castle?
Standoff: Now that the red button was pressed, we have all the shorties in a stand off. But it doesn’t matter because the result of the red button is going to destroy it all? DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?
Avenger Initiative: We have to do it together. It’s not just one person.
Sherlok Holmes: When GME says run, RUN! And remember what it’s running for. You monther, father, children, sisters, and brothers. The DOG DAYS are over.
Drive: We think were all good here right? It’s all over. Guess again. We are going to have every governmental agency coming after us and our gains. We are going to be on the run.
Bloody Blade: Help me with this one.
But First: The overture. This will be how it starts. We must go backward to unlock the secret. Once we do, the dragon wakes up and it’s game on for the game of thrones. We are going to break the wheel.
Still Here: It’s done when we say it’s done. This tweet closes with the song from the whole days evil cept being blown up with green fire. Sick.
Thanos: This was the actual first tweet just like the ET was the actual last tweet. He has read all the tea leaves and doesn't think anyone has put it together like he has so he is sharing his interoperation of the DD, the market conditions, and the news and is going to do one last DD himself.
Hope you were sitting up in your red chair and paying attention.
Apologies for any typos and poor formatting. I've never made a post like this and I'm too tired to figure all of that out. I'll come back tomorrow and clean it all up with that and fill any gaps you guys help me out with.

My bf (M28) has p/rn addiction and I (F24) keep catching payments to private video calls, OF, Fanvue, etc. I already told him it hurts me, I tried to help him for 4 years but instead of changing, he tries to hide it instead, I always find out. I told him about how I felt and it feels like he's cheating. I thought of breaking up, sure. Its easier said than done when you love someone that keeps hurting you. My self-esteem is on the floor and I wanted revenge for hurting me so much. So I created an OF and started making my own page with my photos and my videos in exchange of money that I spend with ME, since he is spending on other women, I spend the money that I got from this resource into myself only so I can get back my self-esteem. But of course, since he rathers keep silent on his video calls to ma/turbate then I am keeping silent on my page too. AITA?

I, 27f, and my ex D.D., 27m, had been high-school sweethearts and moved in together after high school. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and we were happy for years. Then, in the last year of our relationship, he grew cold towards me and borderline abused me. After attempting to talk to him, he left me one week when i was extremely sick and I ended up in urgent care after my family came to get me. My ex was not there nor did he care so I left him. After some time, I kept him in my life as he was still a friend in my heart. I kept him at a distance, but still friends. I never got over him. It's 4.5 years later and he started talking to me more, telling me about work and complaining about his gf, C.S.. I had never met C.S. so I gave him advice. He then starts talking about how he misses me and dreams about me. This makes me feel nice but I kind of ignore it. He again complains about C.S., then goes into detail how much he misses me. Days go by with this. Then, he stops messaging as much one day. After a week, he talks about how he can't leave his gf and how he's not available. I understand but I told him he hurt me. He then goes on to insult me by saying I use him as therapy, that I haven't changed, how we could never be in a relationship, and thay his gf is amazing and he won't leave her. I was baffled since he was complaining about her, saying he thought she was only using him since she was self reliant. I asked if he told his gf what he did and he said she had access to all his texts. He then goes on to tell me I make him uncomfortable and how he's going to block me. I have been a sobbing mess ever since and feel like i lost a friend. I can barely eat, i cant sleep, and he haunts my dreams. I hate it. I have no idea what this is or why this happened. I feel heart broken and don't know what to do or what to make of this situation. What do I do?

My (25F) girlfriend and I (24NB) were planning on having just one birthday party for the both of us next month, since our birthdays are only days apart and I'm going to be visiting her (we are long distance) for the week. We thought it was a good idea to have it together. The ppl invited are just her group of friends (for obvious reasons) whom I get along pretty well and already knew beforehand. The issue came around later when she asked me if she could invite another friend to the party that's not really in the group chat, and I told her that since this is a celebration for the both of us, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Now, the thing is, I don't like this particular friend at all because of some stuff he did and said in the past (about my gf). They fought and fell apart for a couple of months last year and then at the beginning of this one, after blocking her and removing her from his social media and bad-mouthing her, he asked her to reconnect and talk about it. Apparently a mutual friend convinced him. My gf accepted this and went to have dinner with him and they did talk about it, he apologized for being an asshole but told her that he was just waiting for her to reach out (cause she used to do that when they fought before and now she didn’t). At the end, she told him that they couldn't go back to what they were, but they could see how things go. She asked for my opinion on this and I told her that based on the things he said at the meeting and all that, I wouldn't really trust him, but at the end of the day it was her choice and I'd respect whatever she decided on, whether they are friends again or just acquaintances. That doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts about it though. He was an immature asshole and he hurt her and made her cry. She was dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and had depressive episodes after all went down. I understand she wants to forgive him, and I actually like how she can put all behind them and move on, but I'm not really like that.
Anyways, that was it. She told me she wouldn't want to hang out with him like just the two of them like before, but that she wouldn't avoid him if he happen to be in the same place or hanging out with the same friends.
As far as I know, they haven't been talking at all. But now she told me she wants to invite him to the birthday party and wanted to know how I felt about it. And I was honest. I don't like him and I would rather not see him, if it can be avoided. I wouldn't have said anything if it was just her party, of course, because she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but since it was a celebration for the both of us and since she asked, I guess I thought it would've been nice to have a say and all that. This didn't really sit right with her.
We had a huge fight about it and she told me she wanted to invite him anyways, and if I didn't want him there bc it was my birthday as well, we should do two separate parties so she can invite him to hers. Under normal circumstances, that would've been fine by me. But as I established before, we are long distance. None of my friends or family are going to celebrate with me there, so I think the idea is rather dumb; the only person who's not going to be invited to mine is him, the rest of the guests would be the same and really, would they even want to go to two different reunions with a two day difference just because of this one person? At the end, I told her it was fine and I would just bear with it. I'm not an immature person who's going to fill the room with negative energy just because of this, and the things he did are not really unforgivable crimes to the point I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him. He's just an asshole and a bad friend. I didn't really like the fact that she asked me like I had a choice at all, because at the end it was either we invite him or you make your own party outside of mine, but anyways.
So, that's solved. I can compromise on that and I also understand her point, I guess, since at the end of the day he is (was?) one of her closest friends. I don't know.
The thing that has been bothering me now is that after all of this went down, we talked about it more deeply and she told me that it doesn't make sense that I would hold a grudge towards the people that are in her life, cause the problems she has have all to do with her and whoever that person is and not, well, me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that? I had issues with some friends in the past and ex partners that were toxic, and the ppl around me despise them. I have a complicated relationship with my mom as well, and most of them hold resentment towards her for that reason and I'm aware of this. These problems are none of their business, I know, but I thought it was normal to watch them react to it and form their own opinions toward those people because they hurt me. And I'm dear to them. And it's the same the other way around. If you hurt my friends, I don't like you, whether you are a family member or an ex boyfriend or a toxic friend.
I asked her what does she think about the ppl that hurt me, and she told me she doesn't have any kind of resentment towards them because is not her place. She might not like them bc of their actions, but that's about it. If I decide to forgive them, she welcomes them back into her life as well.
So now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to hold grudges against someone who hurts the people who are dear to me? Am I the asshole? Should I stop?
I have spoken about this to my friends but I think I need a little more perspective, cause they all behave the same way I do when we are talking about this particular topic.

Hello, in my opinion Eclipsa was a pretty bad queen for Mewni and i'm going to show you why this is the case.
Ever since i joined the fandom, Eclipsa seems to be a fan favorite in the show, where people and the show see her as a 'misunderstood bad girl with a good intentions' or that she did nothing wrong for the most part at least.
And while i agree she was misunderstood and that she at least doesn't have any evil intentions this doesn't excuse her awful performance as queen especially in the aftermath of Conquer during her short-lived second reign.
Eclipsa's First Reign (300+ years before the main events in the show)
During her first reign she almost caused the collapse of the Butterfly Dinasty by running away from her kingdom(and her duty as queen and legal husband) with a monster, and not any monsters but The King of Monsters, who was known to eat and terrorize mewmans, her subjects. Yes, i know Globgor sucessfully changed and became a vegetarian for his love of Eclipsa but the mewmans and the MHC weren't aware of this fact. You can imagine how mewmans would feel to have as their king someone nicknamed 'Plucker of Limbs' or 'Crusher of Skulls' and he would still be a possible threat as he could at any moment revert back into his old ways without Eclipsa's support, as we seen in the episode 'Doop-Doop' Globgor likey was the one with the idea to have a mewman-style cake hinting that he still has those instincts inside him but i digress.
For all his faults, King Shastacan remaining as the King-Regent after being cheated on and abandoned by the Queen of Mewni understandably wanted nothing to do with the bastard(in royal succession term) offspring of Eclipsa and Globgor and thus he choosed to disinheret her in subtle way possible by swapping Meteora with a peasant mewman baby, he was the one likely who ordered the MHC with finding the replacement heir to the throne which they did in Festivia who was adopted by King Shastacan and MHC into the Butterfly family, again as subtle as possible in order to maintain stability and give the impression of continuance of the royal bloodline.
And another argument to justify this action, in the hindsight, the MHC were vindicated and proven right about their fear of Meteora the hybrid mewman-monster of the most powerful magic Queen and king of Monsters, considering how powerful she became in the season 3 final episodes and especially the finale 'Conquer', she almost caused the destruction of mewmanity and the Butterfly kingdom.
Eclipsa's Second Reign (Post Season 3 Finale after Conquer)
And now getting to her 2nd reign, after Star decided(sadly and unwisely in my opinion) to give the throne back to Eclipsa as she saw Eclipsa being the rightful queen(despite she effectively abdicating when she fled the kingdom the run away with the Globgor but whatever)
One of her first acts as queen was to move the capital to the Monster Temple as the Butterfly Castle laid in ruins after the Star vs Meteora showdown, which is understandable but she decided to keep it as the permanent capital and leave the Butterfly Castle, with so much prestige and history behind it in ruins which probably wasn't taken lightly by the mewman population who felt like their new queen(they already distrust and dislike) snub them for monsters, especially after naming the new capital 'New Monster Town'
This change symbolizing a change of focus away from mewmans and towards the monsters which again likely infuriated alot of mewmans, fermenting an understandable resentment towards Eclipsa the queen who they traditionally depend for guidance and aid.
Another awful act was confiscating the houses of mewmans and "returning" them to the monsters.
This is my opinion was one if not the worst decree done by Eclipsa, not only she expropriating homes mewman family used to live for generations but she let many of them literally homeless and basically to their fate, and you wonder why so many mewmans grew to absolutely despise their "Queen" who had only done them harm so far.
Luckily for the homeless mewmans, their ex-queen Moon who's actually a competent manager and ruler managed to create a small town our of her initial Yurt for her unfortunate former subjects who finally found a place of refugee and belonging even if they had a bit of a rocky relation initially.
Not only that but Eclipsa left former once prosperous towns in ruins(likely caused by Meteora's rampage) and their inhabitants homeless and destitute in 'Ghost of Butterfly Castle' without any plan to repair either by dispatching teams or using her magic to help. Again you wonder why so many mewmans continued to despite their queen.
Yet in another reckless act of of Eclipsa, while understandable from her perspective but very irresponsible was trying to free her controversial husband Globgor.
Thus potentially putting her mewman subjects at risk in case Globgor had desires for (understandably) revenge and straining relations with the other kingdoms who were already (understandably) horrified by the return of the 300 year old 'Queen of Darkness' and her Mewman-eating Husband who they heard so many dark stories and myths about.
She was basically inviting a coup against her by the MHC who didn't trust her to begin with and especially didn't appreciate her efforts to free Globgor who they fought hard to defeat.
While she managed in the end specially in 'Cornonation' to win the hearts of the mewmans who decided to come to her coronation event, this wasn't enough to convince the rest of the disgruntled mewmans to return, and as that wasn't bad enough, many of them took interest and joined Mina's radical movement to remove Eclipsa by force, while partially motivated by genuine racism against monsters, i think their biggest reason to rebel was due to their hatred and disappointment of Eclipsa's rule, which can be understandable considering her decrees.
In the end, while this doesn't justify Moon's decision to ally with Mina (an extremist and insane monster hater) which eventually led to the destruction of magic, Eclipsa pretty much made these conditions possible due to her policies and decisions, from abandoning her people in favor of monsters to refusing to mend ties with the MHC and prove them wrong, the finale could've been avoided if she was to put it bluntly a better queen, Eclipsa wasn't a bad person from the beginning to the end but she just wasn't a good queen for Mewni, and perhaps the throne being returned to her was a mistake, all things considered.

First of all, thanks to everyone who takes their time to read all of this, it means the world to me!
I (m30) met my GF (f30) a year ago on an online dating platform and we are now in a happy relationship since 10 months. She is all I could have ever dreamed of and is the love of my life. I am planning my proposal right now but there is something I just have to get rid of, my RJ. I had massive mental health issues in the past (severe depression) and suffered low self-worth.
My first 2 relationships shared the same „problem“. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 20. At the beginning of our relationship we talked about our sexual pasts. I was a virgin back then and she told me a number of people she slept with. Over the next months, due to conversations on parties, it became clear that the number she told me was a lie and the real number was much higher. I even found out, that she slept with a friend of mine, 3 weeks before we started dating. I started to develop trust issues and did something I am not proud about, looking through her phone. I found out the feeling that she is lying to me was right all along, she had slept with many more guys than she told me about and was even cheating on me, which is why we broke up.
My second girlfriend was the second woman I had slept with. Same problem as before (apart from the cheating stuff). We talked about our past experiences and, as time went by, it became clear that she also lied about her past experiences and has had many more guys, than she told me. Apart from that she was very abusive, attacked me both verbally and physically and drove me into mentioned depression over a course of 7 years. I broke up with her 2 years ago.
At this point it is important to state that both of my exes started the conversations about past experiences. It is nothing I check out when I start to date someone.
I now was 29, had encountered RJ in 2 relationships and thought it was due to my lack of sexual experiences myself. To prevent it from happening again I started dating and gained experience myself, until I met the love of my life 12 months ago.
Our relationship is perfect, aside from my RJ. When we started dating we showed us pictures of each others and I noticed a picture of her with a musician. I asked her, if they had hooked up and she told me no. She also told me that she never had a ons or any „casual“ sex experiences and doesn‘t like such stuff.
2 months into the relationship I stumbled upon her reddit profile (I didn‘t take her phone at this point). I was curious and read the things she had posted and comments she wrote, since it is all online and public. Then I saw the comment, which led to the situation I am in today. She had commented a post that she did have sex with the said musician. The moment I‘ve read this my heart sunk into my stomach and I was instantly reminded of my 2 previous relationships. So I did a mistake again. I took her phone while she was sleeping and looked for pictures, read chats etc. I found out that she also was lying about past experiences. She did had ons and casual sex and also lied about another guy she had told me she had dated, but didn‘t have sex with. In fact, they did have sex, several times. I confronted her about the musician and told her I looked through her phone. She was shocked and disappointed that I checked her phone (and I totally understand that, it isn‘t the right thing to do) but my gut feeling told me something was off and my feeling was right. She admitted that she had sex with the musician, but also didn‘t tell me the whole truth. She lied about the way that ons started out, but I didn‘t tell her that I know the truth. It shook my trust in her. Not my general trust, but the trust about everything she told me about her past. To this day she doesn‘t know that I‘ve read a lot more than just the chat with the musician, because back then I told her that I only read this chat (it was wrong for me to lie to her and I was no better than her, I know!).
Now to the real problem. This triggered something big in me, like a trauma or something. It has been 8 months since I‘ve searched her phone and not a single day has passed at which I haven‘t thought about this musician. I think about it a few times a day and sometimes I even imagine how they had sex when I am having sex with her. It is driving me crazy and I am slowly going insane because of it. Sometimes we randomly talk about things from our past and I catch her lying to me since I know better because I searched her phone. I don‘t tell her that I know better in these situations. I know she ist just lying because of 2 reasons:

1. she does not want to destroy my picture of her and fears that I might view her differently.
   
2. she wants to safe me from getting jealous/sad
   

What is in the past ist in the past, she didn’t know me back then so she did nothinh wrong back then. She could tell me the craziest sex stories and I would just love her the way she is, the most beautiful soul I‘ve ever met. But knowing that she is lying all the time about these things is slowly killing me from the inside. I can‘t get these things out of my head and I‘ve already told her about my past and how important the truth is for me because of that. She still decided to lie to me when I confronted her about the ons with the musician. I can‘t get over it because I know I‘m still getting lied to concerning this particular topic and my brain tries to figure out what the truth is all the time. I made the experiences that if my gf talks openly about a past story the puzzle in my head gets completed and I can stop thinking about it. I already started to search for a therapist (I will DEFINITELY start therapy again) but I feel like I need to confront her one more time to find peace and get her to lay down the lies and start being honest about her past.
She had an abusive ex, too. It is a very sensitive topic for her to search the phone because her ex did it all the time. He controlled who she is allowed to speak to and locked her up in the flat to make sure she can‘t have any interactions with another male. This is why I am afraid to confront her because I don‘t want to trigger her but we both fucked up (me looking through her phone / she constant lies about her past).
What should I do? Should I confront her? I tried to eat it up but 8 months have passed and it didn‘t get better, I feel like I need closure.

I'm so fucking sick of taking 1-3 hours to fall asleep (yes THREE HOURS) each night and then waking up long before I get 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Whereas I know that many other people fall asleep and for a long time uninterrupted much much faster, like my dad who will be snoring in less than 5 mins. No I don't have any diagnosed sleep disorders, my body in particular is just fucking retarded. Just wound up with this sorry excuse for a body how unfortunate oh well
Tonight I made it a point to sleep extra early, at 11pm, when I had been sleeping at 1-3am for a while before. I took a warm shower, then immediately went to bed without looking at any screens (even if I did, both my phone and computer are perpetually on night mode anyway). I also don't drink alcohol or abuse any substances, basically I should be in good condition to have restful sleep most nights. Well guess what? I actually did fall asleep relatively quickly, probably in under an hour, but my retard fuck body ruins what would be a productive sleep by waking up at 2am and it's been an hour of lying in the dark trying every USELESS fucking sleep help technique i know of (counting backwards from 500, thinking of words for each letter of the alphabet, relaxing muscles one by one... all strategies that seem to work for other people having trouble sleeping but OF COURSE NOT ME), so I give up and I'm here ranting about how much I want to inflict suffering on my own useless noncooperative pussy of a body. Daytime tomorrow I'm probably going to be tired as shit and only THEN I'll fall asleep easily........ hmmmm i wonder why? fucking retard
It's like you don't want to work with me you fucking sorry piece of meat. I work out on most days and stuff food down my body, wayyy more calories than my natural bitch body's appetite, both healthy things that would be expected to help sleep, but then this shit happens? Is this shit youre pulling on me your way of getting revenge on me for putting you through this (exercising and eating like a healthy person)? I'm doing this for you and our health you fucking ingrate.
I also have diarrhea rn, have had it for a few days, I don't even know how the fuck that happens considering that my day to day diet (which is pretty healthy as far as I can tell; good macronutrients, calorie surplus to gain weight, and good amount of water) barely fluctuates. In theory 1L of milk every day may in theory result in the shits, but I have been drinking the same amount of milk everyday for months without any problems (I know it's the same because I buy those 3-pack bags of milk from the store and go through 1 bag/day). And if it turns out im lactose intolerant? Oh well just another entry in my body's massive catalogue of faults, no surprise there.
Speaking of eating, also such a fucking pussy in that regard. Tonight 2am woke up with extreme hunger pangs even though I finished eating, meeting my daily calorie/protein goal right before bed (and lying down or taking a shower soon after eating is apparently bad for you, wow very cool! fucking retarded human body requires so much shit and then refuses to work even when those requirements are met) so im here typing this as i eat goldfish crackers. I spend a disgusting amount of time cooking, shopping and calorie counting (which is fine) but also a disgusting amount of time EATING because my body is, again, a fucking pussy. I am probably one of the slowest eaters I know period, I could probably literally be starving and still take 30min to finish 500cal worth of rice. And the constant gagging that always seems to happen in the latter half of any meal, shut the fuck up and down it you useless sack of shit.
Ok now lets talk about the gym. Weak ass pathetic fucking body, of course i am small and skinny by default because my genetics said fuck you and im stuck with this. I've been training on and off for almost 2 years now yet some people who have literally never touched a weight or counted a single calorie in their life can probably lift more than me and somehow also progress faster and gain faster if they keep going because woohoo genetics!!!! maybe if you decided to cooperate and sleep like a normal functional body you would be much better off physically? unless you want to be a fucking loser for good, you sorry cunt. Now don't get me wrong, I have improved quite a lot over my training, but... see above
I wish I could dissociate my mind, soul and consciousness from my body, give it a retroactive consciousness of its own, and punish it for all the bitchmade shit its been pulling. Don't want to fall asleep? Well I hope you enjoy being fully awake for the whole night because I'm going to be torturing you medieval style the whole time. Thats what you wanted right? Hahahaha. Want to pussy out like usual and nap during the day? Too bad, you asked for it. Bitchmade eating difficulty? I will shove more food down your gullet than you can handle, lets see how you are after that... or I'll completely starve you instead since you don't want to eat right? Fucking cunt. And weak ass body at the gym? Either I'll make sure you train to failure every time until your very sinews are tearing, or I'll let your muscles atrophy to nothing since thats what you wanted right?
And this is just the physical side of things, not even going to get into the other shit. At least I'm mentally okay I guess, don't have depression or anxiety or anything, so we know those arent causing my somatic problems its just my body being fucking stunted
There is so much more I want to get out but it's 4am now and i'm tired on less than 3 hours of sleep and we all know why. yes, it's so fun how I'm too tired to do anything, yet unable to sleep! so very fun!! worst of both worlds, thanks for nothing fucking disabled body. I'm going to play video games to hopefully wear myself out ENOUGH, then try to head back to sleep with zero guarantee of success. good night

Link to the post in question.
This Saturday, the Seattle Sounders played the Vancouver Whitecaps in a game that ended in a 1-1 draw. The Sounders scored early, with a goal from Jordan Morris. A second shot on goal by the Sounders is deflected by a Vancouver defender, who extends his arm only to pull it back to his body, deflecting the shot off of his elbow. The ref and VAR officials stay silent, and play continues.
In the 94th minute of the game, Vancouver player Sebastian Berhalter makes a shot on goal, deflected by Sounders defender Nouhou, who also extends his arm out only to pull it back, with the shot deflecting off of his arm as well. This time, the VAR officials call for a closer review, and after several minutes of thorough examination the referee (Victor Rivas) declares Nouhou's block a handball, giving Nouhou a second yellow card, which sends him off the field, and more importantly, gives Vancouver a penalty kick. Vancouver scores on the penalty, tying up the game, and the match ends 1-1.
You can view both handballs here. Nouhou on the left, Vancouver defender on the right. You can decide for yourself whether Nouhou's handball was worse than Vancouver's.
Sounders fans are quick to take to MLS to protest the unfair decision. If you look at the comments section, you'll see a lot of Sounders FC flairs. The fact that Sounders fans have been subject to a disproportionately large number of questionable rulings has only exacerbated the frustration felt by fans. (A recent highlight being Stefan Frei's red card, later rescinded upon further review by the MLS. While the card was rescinded, the game score stayed the same. With how strong the Sounders had played that game with a man down, there's a good argument to be made that they could have won with Frei on the field.)
Highlights:

• PDLV taking it upon himself to (almost) overcome the far-reaching anti-Sounders conspiracy which has been masterminded at the highest levels of international soccer
• Follow-up reply from a Sounders fan - Flair up or shut up

Several fans aren't happy with Victor Rivas, the ref:

• I'll eat a sock if Rivas genuinely thought Nouhou's yellow was more egregious than the Whitecaps.
• Did any previous older generation of Sounders players sleep with Rivas' mom or gf?
• Everybody knows the reason Rivas is making calls this bad is because he's sleeping with Vanni Sartini. (For context, Vanni Sartini is the Whitecap's general manager.)
• Victor Rivas doing his best to rival Ismail Elfath for the worst MLS ref trophy. I'll bet my left nut he had money on Vancouver with how subjective his calls are all of a sudden. (More context: Ismail Elfath has been another referee subject to major anger from Sounders fans for numerous bad calls - he's the ref that gave Sporting Kansas City goalkeeper Tim Melia a yellow card for body-slamming Christian Roldan. It was egregious enough that pro wrestler Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson weighed in on Twitter.)
• I'd say Rivas had to have his hair gel seep into his brain. But he obviously doesn't fucking have one

Others instead blame the VAR officials:

• How are fans blaming Rivas? You know that decision wasn't on him, right?
• VAR is willfully ignoring the call
• This is more on the VAR ref than the ref on the field

From a Sounders fan: Who have we not paid that Vancouver has?
Someone takes the chance to rag on Frei for terrible goalkeeping
Sounders fan names and shames ref and VAR officials
It wouldn't be MLS without someone complaining about sports betting.
One Sounders fan says gg Vancouver, gets downvoted and told to screw off
My personal favorite: For the love of soccer someone please fuck Manchester City like this tomorrow

Do you remember the theory that Marco and Toffee are connected? It is a theory with a lot of negative opinions, but I tried my best to think about it.
Marco and Toffee have a planned and meticulous personality. I think... their gestures are sometimes similar. https://www.tumblr.com/frmacnac/723950017044512769/marco-and-toffee-are-like-mirrors-each-other-or
Marco with purple items is something ominous. The monster arm emits purple liquid, and when Marco is involved in magic, he often wears purple things. The skin color of Marco's corpse in the Blood Moon nightmare is purple, The purple cloth he wears at before beach day has nothing to do with magic but look at the shape.
Besides, The following are the ones that appear in Toffee's first appearance episode.
Star's penstand with holes. This is similar to the symptoms of victims of Solaria's magic. Dead End signs, Star and monsters. A fortune cookie message that Toffee sent to Star says "Love is always the answer". Toffee say that "You're not the only one who is the victim of magic".
What if these are things that imply something? Toffee said he knows the future. What if Star, her friends, and monsters are killed by Solaria's magic? What if Toffee is related to Marco's monster arm? So, Marco may have been shapeshifted to Septarian by dark magic of unicorn and time-traveled to the ancient Mewni. (It might sound stupid) Glossaryck may be involved in it, He may have created a weird time loop. Toffee may be Adult Marco who comes from such a bad future timeline.
Toffee knew that he would be killed as Star's first enemy, so he probably decided to give Star the idea of destroy the magic for change bad future, but in the process, probably he entered Realm of Magic and went crazy. And he may died like "Toffee" on his timeline. and, Glossaryck may have seen Marco as Toffee's childhood. When they first met, Glossaryck said he wouldn't let Marco read magic spells book, and Glossaryck disliked Marco until the day Star rode a bicycle.
Toffee may be a character that assumes as Marco in his thirties. Marco at Neverzone is a child with an adult body. too childish. Star and Toffee's mental age is too far apart, for Toffee, Star will be like a sibling? "Surprise" is a word when the Diaz family celebrates Star every day, so it may be a symbol of friendship and family love. Even if Marco was influenced by the monster arm, he is not necessarily evil. In this case, Toffee wouldn't kill Comet, but his subordinates would do it at their discretion.
Toffee has existed since he was a teenager. The reason why he was shocked when Marco said, "You're boring" would because he had too short time to live as his true self, and he forgot what he was like when he was living as himself. On the other hand, he may have despised his past self who had no power or knowledge to protect the important things. Toffee's last words were probably a warning to his past self, and were probably the answer to what he was told to be "boring". He manipulated Ludo, but it made Buff Frog a Star's friend. It triggered that Star wants Mewni to stop the monster abuse. Marco is the type who is into the role he plays, and he is good at hiding his emotions. If he had felt responsible for the death of Star's grandma, he couldn't have been able to tell the truth. He may have been acting like a crazy, cruel man to Star on purpose.
But how can Marco be so dark and conspiratory?
I think Marco knew very little about monster abuse in Mewni. Marco will be angry if he knows that, and Marco will try to protect the monster from Mewman as one of the earthlings because he knows Mewnians were earthlings, and will be thoroughly research magic and Mewni's history. And Marco's charisma will be gather the support of Septarian. In order to protect the existence of Star, he may had to keep Butterfly family alive while dealing with the monster's hatred for Butterfly family, and he would have been afraid of losing the support of the monsters. Marco was once unable to oppose it for fear of losing the support of the princesses in St. Olga. He may have been bound by his past as Septarian and had limited things to do. I think he has reason for hating Glossaryck. Glossaryck made Star's ancestors, the colonists of Earth, into Butterfly family and Mewman.
"The code name is Sailor V", a spinoff of Sailor Moon came to my mind. The villain in this story was just a soldier who wanted to become a knight to get closer to the princess of Venus, Minako's previous life. However, after everyone died in the war and the queen of the moon reborn everyone with magical powers. He was helping Minako's growth as her enemy but he died while doing fortune-telling that Minako was destined to kill the person she loved. Minako will ended up killing her boyfriend who became an enemy. Daron loves Sailor Moon, and Mina's name is taken from Minako, but Minako looks like Star.
Well, Marco is just a boy from the earth, but he tried to become a knight because he wanted to get close to Star, the princess of Mewni. And what if Marco's Blood Moon's nightmare warn his fate that he will be killed by Star when he falls in love with her? Toffee lives in Star's past, and Marco lives in Star's future. Star and Marco, who are tied by the Curse of Blood Moon, will be bound in a weird time loop forever.
I think the Dark magic that Toffee was melting in Realm of Magic will strengthen the desire for revenge. Toffee may have wanted to neutralize MHC and Moon because them empower Mina's rebellion. What if the magic and Star's family destroyed his life? What if magic doesn't exist? What if the colonists from Earth, the ancestors of Star, didn't go to Mewni? What if Star was born as an earthling? What if Marco chose Jackie instead of Star? His purpose in S1 would to protect Star, but his purpose in S2 may have changed to save Marco's life from Star. The reason he was so obsessed with his lost finger was probably because it was the only point of contact between his past self and his present self. The motivation in that case will be self-love. Realm of Magic will not kill Star, but it will make her suffer. He may have locked Star there to teach her his suffering, instead of telling her who he is.
If Marco's fate is related to magic, it would be right for Star to destroy the magic for Marco. Toffee was watching Star's decision to destroy the magic, and he screamed "surprise". The only person who spoke to Star from the tapestries was Toffee. If the bad future changed, if the timelines merged, would be a happy ending. Will Toffee/Marco trace the fate of Heinous/Meteora?

Let me preface by requesting that you please keep any negative opinions on the age gap to yourself if that’s all you want to express. I am fully aware of the age of my partner and am a fully consenting adult. Thanks!
I moved in with my partner after I couldn’t afford rent anymore, I lived in a 4 bedroom condo with 3 roommates and paid $700 a month, but 2 of them decided to move elsewhere. The remaining roommate and I decided not to try to find two replacements so that we could continue to afford the place. Unfortunately nothing else in the area was affordable either after months of searching. Since starting the search my partner had enthusiastically offered that could move in with her as long as I wanted, and had occasionally alluded to wanting it to be permanent, but I was hesitant to take her up on the offer because I was intending on living independently for a while longer. Ultimately it was my only option besides moving back in with my parents or living in my car.
I lived on the third floor and had several pieces of furniture and roughly a small uhaul full of stuff (mind you both my parents helped me get everything inside in the first place) that I needed to move and store in either her small condo or a storage unit across town because I didn’t want to try to force everything i had into her place especially if it was going to be temporary like I originally thought.
Like I said in the title I didn’t explicitly ask for her help. I don’t think. However there were several nights across several weeks where I had expressed significant stress about the amount I needed to move, and she’d been to my room all the time and had seen what I had, so you’d think she would imagine it might be hard for her 5’1” gf to haul everything to my name down 3 flights of stairs load everything into the car then unload it at its new destination.
I had been chipping away each day but I still had no idea how to get my furniture out so I put it off until the last minute (as in day before the lease was up, yeah i know) and so I had to take off work rent a truck from Home Depot and had the good fortune to remember I have a family friend attending a nearby college who was willing to help me carry the furniture I couldn’t manage to get down myself and help me load it all on the truck and subsequently into the house and storage unit.
Partner didn’t really have anything to say about any of this? Just was incredibly casual while I was losing my mind lol. I know I could’ve asked her help but she made comments like oh you don’t have that much and made me feel like it would be easy to do on my own. However I feel like if it was her moving in with me the only thing I’d be thinking about is helping her move everything. And hell this was my first move after my first home away from my parents so it was a bit of a deal. She knew that. She has moved many times, she knows how stressful that shit is and didn’t offer a hand not even once? I feel my blood boiling now.
So yes I could’ve asked for help, but did I need to? Am I just a big adhd-having baby that wouldn’t have had an issue if i had better time management to begin with?
TL;DR Moved in with my partner who never once asked if I need help moving

I have been dating my current gf for about 2 years now. Her parents are from India and hae been very strict the entire relationship. Even when the relationship with the parents was cordial, they obsessively called me whenever I was with her like I became their child. On my first day of graduate school, the father called me 9 times while I was attending my first class because she hadn't answered their texts in 30 minutes. Another time, we went on a beach trip and were coming home (2 hours before their set curfew) and he continued to call and tell me to drive faster and get her home immediately. Eventually, the relationship with the parents deteriorated. They didn't want us seeing each other at all anymore but we stayed together and made it about a year without their approval.
Today was my girlfriends graduation and it was outdoors, so it was open to the public. The parents didn't want me there and I was not invited to the dinner planned for after the graduation. However, since it was open to the public and a large crowd, she told me that she wanted me there and I could just sit away from them. I went and tried to stay away from the parents, but apparently the father spotted me walking into the stadium and became angry. There was no confrontation, but apparently he wanted to come up to me and tell me to leave but was prevented from doing so. My girlfriend texted me that he had seen me and said to stay out of sight and just leave after they call her name to avoid any crazy drama. I did and left immediately after her name and hadn't been in contact with anyone (including my gf) since the ceremony.
I was driving back home when my gf's best friend called me and said that she had a seizure and I needed to go to the hospital she was going to. I was shocked since she had no medical history and turned around to head to the hospital immediately. I knew the parents wouldn't would be angry, so I called my gf's older sister to tell her everything I knew and see if she was okay (my gf had been staying out late all night and had been feeling sick all morning). The sister told me not to come because it would only make things worse and the dad took the sisters phone and began to yell at me.
He told me that this was all my fault and I'm causing so much stress and anxiety in her life and that I'm the reason she's in the hospital. He told me to never contact her again and I responded by telling him that "This is not okay. You will not blame me for this and you will not speak to me that way." He hung up the phone a few seconds after i began talking and told him that nothing he was saying was accpetable to me.
After hanging up, he grew more angry and I received several follow up messages about how everything is my fault and that I need to leave her alone. When my gf finally regained consciousness, he yelled at her for being "so naive and irresponsible" and he told her that she is throwing her life away with me. I didn't know what to do and obviously wanted to prioritize her well-being when she reached out to me, but when she told me her dad said I had disrespected him and been very rude, I had to share the full story and send screenshots.
I feel liket this pattern of behavior isn't out of a dislike for me or a new thing... She had warned me that her parents were crazy and strict before, but this is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I think that there are deeper issues to this behavior than I can tell from my perspective, but I just dont know what to do or say about any of this.
I absolutely do not want our relationship to end. I also can't continue to let the parents continue to control everything in her life and treat me how they treat their children.
I dont know if I should have skipped the graduation and just stayed as quiet as possible until her parents arent as big a factor in her life anymore.
I also don't know what to say about his comments blaming me for the seizure and yelling at her when she regained consciousness. What should I do in this situation? Is there anything to do/say about overly controlling/manipulative parents? Please help with how to handle this situation.
TL;DR; : Girlfriends father was angry that I showed up to her graduation and sat alone. She had a seizure after I left and he told me that it was all my fault and to never speak to her again. He had tried to limit our relationship and prevent us from seeing each other in the past and I don't know what to do now. How can I confront this and maintain my relationship with her?

my boyfriend ( 20M ) has cheated on me ( 20M ) 3 times so far. but not physically. basically the first time he did, we were a month into our relationship (1.5 years now) and we were in first year university so we spent a lot of time together and basically lived in eachothers dorms. he had his own dorm, and i had a roommate. so later on i moved into his dorm. i found out that he had been texting his ex girlfriend that he broke up with not too long before he went to university, id say a couple weeks maybe a month. he had been texting her saying that he loves her but that he has a new gf. she was mad because she assumed that they would get back together during the winter break (assuming he wouldn’t have gotten with anyone else i guess?) i dont exactly remember details because it was a year ago but it was cheating.
we had been saying i love you to eachother at that point and i saw their messages by sheer coincidence on his phone. so i broke up with him, but he was crying and hadn’t left his room / eaten in days and told me and convinced me he was different and learned his lesson. since then he has never talked to another girl or had any issues like that. recently, id say about 2-3 months ago he confessed to me that he has been watching p0rn.
now, i know a lot of people dont consider p0rn cheating and are okay with it, but i had talked to him multiple times and set my boundaries about this and we both had agreed it was cheating. so when he told me i was crushed. i felt i wasn’t good enough and that he needed to look at other women to actually feel satisfied. he assured me against it and that it was a p0rn addiction and that he wouldn’t do it again and he’s stopping cold turkey. recently i found out he had lied quite a lot about the p0rn he was watching.
i saw he had been watching joi p0rn and things that i know he liked in bed, he watched in p0rn. from a year ago. now he told me about him watching p0rn so it wasnt that bad, but i saw he had been searching up where to get a pr0stitute and details of it in our area while in the middle of all his p0rn search history, as well as omegle and where to find best girls noodes and leaked noodes of famous girls and s3xting snapchats and “why is ___ so hot” (some instagram 0nlyfans famous girl)
he was asleep next to me at the moment so i woke him up and asked if there’s anything he needs to tell me. now ik people will say “ don’t look through his phone that’s private “ but he tells me all the time that he doesn’t care what i do on his phone and that i can look through anything i want. because of the cheating in the past. so when i asked of course he acted all confused and when i brought up p0rn he told me that he slipped up and watched p0rn recently. i didnt know this at the time but just went with it.
so basically he says he’s changed and that after it he as going to tell me but didn’t know how blah blah blah but he’s changed and he’s never going to do it again. crying and begging at my feet not to leave him. now i know im the dumbass in this. i keep letting him get away with stuff and there also a lot i’m leaving out of the sake of summary. but i can’t leave him, im too invested and he’s an amazing man and boyfriend to me.
i just don’t know if i’m over reacting or if maybe i’m just under reacting. i just don’t know what to think or even how im feeling. i feel more self conscious than i’ve ever felt in my life , and im a very confident person. i know that im a relatively good looking person, so i can’t really understand how to deal with the feeling of being less than and not being able to satisfy someone i thought i knew so well. i feel like i don’t know him anymore. any advice? i’ll answer questions too.
TL;DR my boyfriend has a p0rn addiction that he says is done with but i don’t believe him cuz he’s cheated in the past.

Hi Reddit,
I can’t believe I’m writing this post, but this has been on my mind for the past few months and I really need some external input. I need help to figure out if I’m in a toxic relationship, if there’s something I can do to fix it, if I’m over sensitive, or is it time for me to end this?
Context: I ‘M26’ and my girlfriend ‘F25’ have been together for 2.5 years, and known each other for 8 years. We both live in the U.S. but I’m from Europe and she’s from Central America, met in college. Issues started 2 years ago but when things are good she’s amazing (funny/beautiful/caring/makes me feel unconditionally loved/etc) and I always thought the issues were friction we could iron out together. With time I have grown increasingly skeptical of that. This is my first relationship (longer than 3 months) so at the same time I’m worried that maybe I am overly skeptical, that I only see my perspective and fail to see hers. I want to be fair to her, because I love her and care deeply for her as a person, I am just starting to resent the relationship.
History of issues: To me the issues are all centered in my girlfriends anxiety. Frequently, rather than being vulnerable, she projects her anxiety on me and accusing me of all kinds of things. I have both tried to shake off those moments, to recognize that this isn’t her but her anxiety talking, but it still affects me deeply. Not only when it occurs, but when I am doing something and she seems fine I still worry that maybe I will do something wrong and she will snap and this moment will turn to a life or death situation. I have also obviously communicated my concern over this behavior repeatedly, and every time after she takes things too far she apologizes and takes ownership and we come up with a strategy to avoid the issue from repeating. This all sounds very healthy, I think, but the problem is that we’ve had these issues and conversations 25+ times and here we still are. Some things have gotten better for sure but it still feels unbearable to me. Let me provide three examples to illustrate our issues (from my perspective).
Example 1 - 1.5 years ago My best friend and I were victims of attempted robbery from people affiliated with organized crime, the event went to court, and after the trial we wanted to get away from everything. My girlfriend and I had planned to go to a Caribbean island shortly after, so I invited my friend to come a week before my girlfriend and leave the day she arrived. We were both pretty shaken up and just wanted to talk things out and enjoy a tropical paradise. The first night my friend and I arrive (girlfriend still in the US) she starts texting fervently that my friend and I shouldn’t see any of the sights so she and I can see them together for the first time. I get where she’s coming from but this is also a challenging time for me and my best friend so I am not willing to completely sacrifice his week with me to appease my girlfriend. Things escalate and she demands my attention all the time. When my friend and I is out she is calling me 50+ times in a row, texting me that if I love her I would respond and that I am ruing hers and mine vacation and though I’m trying to deescalate I don’t see how to. I end up turning off my phone, although she begs me not to, but I’m still in my head unable to enjoy the night. When I turn my phone back on next day there’s a picture of herself with a cut (very shallow but still) saying I made her do this. This event is the low point of our relationship, and I told her if she ever hurts herself or threatens to hurt herself I’m out, and to be fair to her she has not once since hurt herself. Nonetheless, the calls continue after this (50+ a day) and I spent 3-4h a day on the phone with her and neglecting the trip with my best friend. Damn writing this out really makes me ashamed for not standing my ground back then. Anyways, this really colored the trip with my childhood friend and I think I still resent myself and her for making that happen.
Example 2 - 0.5 years ago I visited a close childhood friend in South America for 2.5 weeks. Because of the events that transpired in example 1, my girlfriend was nervous for my trip. She expressed worry that she would act out in the same way as my last trip. I really appreciated this self-awareness. We therefore talked extensively about how to avoid issues. The first few days were alright, with her being anxious but being vulnerable about it and we managed well, calling once a day and texting 15-20 messages a day (more than I’d want, but that’s a compromise I’m okay with). At this point I make a mistake, but her reactions to it is (in my head at least) not proportional. I told her I was going out with my friend and his friend that weekend, and she expressed that this would make her anxious that I would cheat on her. So I asked what can I do, and we decided I’d send her a text once I left the pre-game, once I left the club, and call her once I got back to my friends place. A little bit much I thought, but I love her so a fair compromise for now. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the moment at the pre-game, and forgot to text my girlfriend. I realized as I was walking home from the club with 25+ missed calls and a bunch of emotional messages about how I forgot because I was around beautiful women and how I don’t love her. Here I understand her pain. She was vulnerable, I agreed to a compromise and I didn’t fulfill my end. 25+ calls is never productive but hey I had some blame here. The following day I call her for 1.5 hours apologizing and we talk things out, and it feels like though she is feeling anxious that she accepts my apology and we have now managed to resolve my mistake. The same night my friend and his friends are going to someone else’s house for a BBQ (which I told my girlfriend about days before). An hour before we are about to leave my girlfriend starts telling me to talk to her on the phone, because I hurt her so bad and when I say I can’t because we are 10 people having a beer before we head out she says she doesn’t care and that I hurt her and now she “wants to make my life miserable”. I tell her “hey I understand you’re upset but I never want to hear those words from the person I love. I know I hurt you but never intentionally”. She says she doesn’t care and keeps calling me non-stop for 40 minutes and I’m worried that if I don’t pick up she will start to call my friend. I try to deescalate and beg her to take a step back and that she is pushing me away by doing this. The whole thing culminates by me getting out of the Uber towards the barbecue and telling my friends that I think my girlfriend and I are breaking up and I need to deal with it. I am crying as I say this and feel so damn embarrassed. Even writing it now I can’t believe this actually happened. Damn. Anyways, as soon as I tell her that I am no longer going to the bbq and I left my friends car she becomes a different person (the person I love) and tells me she is so sorry and realize she took it too far and begs me to order an Uber to the BBQ. She says she’ll pay for it and begs me to go. At that point I’m just so embarrassed at the whole thing and tell her something along the lines of “why the fuck did you push me this far then. I told you you are pushing me away”. I head home, and wonder how someone who loves me so much can intentionally cause me so much harm and I seriously begin to doubt if her and I will ever work. I tell her I don’t think I want to be in the relationship, but that I recognize I’m emotional so I need 7 days without contact to process my thoughts. I won’t block her, but if she reaches out I will. She does reach out (albeit with a nice message) but I still block her.
I probably should have left the relationship here, but damn I love her, we live together, and at this point she was depending on me for her visa to stay in the country. I don’t want to rip all that apart from her. So I say I don’t know if we’ll ever feel okay, but I’m willing to give this one last chance.
To her defense, she take a lot of new steps at this point. She tells her mom and sister everything that happened (including her trust issues and jealousy), she starts with anxiety medication and starts being more vulnerable with her therapist. I am still skeptical that things will actually be okay, but I recognize the effort she puts in and I really appreciate it. The frequency of our arguments decrease, and more disputes now end before they become arguments.
Example 3 - Yesterday My GF flew to Vegas with three of her girlfriends (I know two of them very well) and I know it’s a high risk trip for someone in a relationship but I honestly have complete trust in my GF. I decided to do a dinner with 3 of my friends (who my GF knows equally well, we’re all in a group chat together and do things regularly together) and they invited a 4th person who was part of our sports team (my girlfriend met her 2-3 times, just like me).
She texts me from Vegas asking who’s coming to the dinner and once she finds out this 4th person is coming she asks nicely if we cannot be in someone else’s apartment. When I say hey I’m sorry but I already said we could be at my place she asks at least don’t smoke weed together (my friends are stoners so 100% chance they’ll bring weed), and I say “I’m sorry but I won’t tell them not to and I’ll join In too if they bring it but you have nothing to worry about. I love you and I’ll call you as soon as they leave?” My girlfriend then goes into panic mode and calls me nonstop throughout dinner. I go to the bathroom and begs her to stop, tells her she is ruining this for me, and ask her to trust me. She still calls nonstop until they leave. I try to keep a brave face but again it really ruins the dinner for me.
At this point I have told her how actions like these makes me feel uneasy and prevents me from enjoying life. I told her I need her to trust me. I told her that I won’t have it anymore. And if anything the idea that she doesn’t trust me around 3 people she knows well with a 4th stranger while she’s at a pool party in bikini in Vegas just seems so hypocritical it makes me ever more frustrated.
In her defense: - Her dad cheated multiple times while she was growing up. I understand this makes it excruciatingly difficult to trust a partner. - She started seeing a therapist ~8 months ago. - She now takes medication for her anxiety. - She now has told her mom and sister about her trust issues for the first time in her life. - She began attending codependency meetings regularly. - She says she doesn’t want me to limit my life just for me to communicate better what I’m doing (I think it’s really possible that I’m bad at communicating, because to me this request feels like it comes from a lack of trust).
She is putting in immense effort, but I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. Even when things are good I’m worried that she’s going to explode and that prevents me from enjoying the good times too. I love her and she’s amazing in many ways, but I don’t like feeling responsible for her suffering. I know that by trying to end things she’s going to suffer so much and she’ll beg me to give her another chance. I don’t want to but in those moments I feel like she’s the rational version of herself and that maybe she’ll never explode again. Can I solve my relationship with her? Is it time to leave? Is it fair to leave when she is putting in so much effort? How do I find the courage to go through with it?
Thanks so much in advance, and I’m sorry for such a lengthy post.
TL;DR I think my relationship is toxic and I don’t know if it is fixable, or if it’s time for me to end it? Is it fair to end it when my partner is putting so much effort into the relationship?

1330 Terran Front Fleet Time
On the Turinika homeworld, the first signs of unrest began to manifest like a wave, The broadcast of the most esteemed Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata, Taratanti of the roost Kazatalak, openly performing the act of Kavsa had been met with shock. The last Taratanti who had voluntarily performed Kavsa had done so in protest of the treatment of the Kulorn caste, nearly two thousand years prior. It was an ancient rite, one that signified rejection of the greatest shame. Even more shocking than the act itself was the evidence that had followed it. Visuals of species, brought into the Conclave, not as migrant workers as had been believed, but as slaves, was met with an almost immediate attempt at censorship. This attempt failed spectacularly, mostly due to those who had been tasked to censor the information not only refusing to follow the command, but openly declaring that they had been ordered to do so. A situation that was already, as the humans would say, out of hand, spiraled completely out of control. Within only twenty minutes of the ending of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s broadcast entire cities entered a state of absolute anarchy. Two planetary capitals were stormed and taken by the furious civilian population, demanding the location of those who had been enslaved. The Turinika Armada, which even then was in the middle of a training session meant to prepare the fleet to withstand the Terran Front’s assault, began to cease operations. Within the hour, the entire armada would be recalled to the turnika homeworld. Those who did not take to the streets simply stopped whatever work they were doing and went to their homes to be around their brood. Images of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata with his stripped wings spread wide in front of the human fleet commander were on every news fed of the Conclave, as was the sound of his thunderous voice, and the wails of despair from a turinika female that couldn’t be seen. Close ups of the human fleet commander’s face were shown, with analysts remarking on the shock, horror, and sympathy. Since the outbreak of the Seventh Orion War, the female human known as Simmons had been reported to have made several threats towards the turinika, she had quickly become seen as a warmonger, ready to take revenge against the turinika for refusing to go to war and violate their principles of pacifism. Now the images of her lunging forward to stop the violation of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s plumage, the agonized expression of her face, and the true reason for her threats against the turinika were rapidly reversing her image. On far flung deep core mining stations and agricultural stations, on deep space stations dedicated to material processing, and in other areas hidden from the sight of the normal turinikan population, overseers and taskmasters felt their hearts run cold at the knowledge that very soon, their part to play in the willful enslavement of another species would be known to the wider Conclave. As the data package transmitted alongside the broadcast were fully decompressed and the scale of the Conclave’s government’s involvement was revealed, the entirety of the Conclave itself was teetering on the verge of absolute pandemonium. The image of a member of the kolra species, from the look of it barely a hatchling, quickly was becoming the face of the entire incident. The picture was absolutely damning, and the sight of the image had sent any who saw it instantly into contorting and painful displays of shame. The young kolra was sprawled on it’s stomach, looking to the one taking it’s picture with eyes that had no life in them. It’s shell covered it’s back, and despite the age of the kolra it was already dulled and scuffed. The foot pressing down on the shell was unmistakably familiar to those who saw it, the clawed feet of a turinika. Within the hour, billions of winged figures stood in streets, the normally soft spoken and passive species demanding action, demanding justice, on the hundred worlds of the Turinika Conclave. The bulk of the Taratanti caste, most of whom had been left in the dark of the truth of the situation, quickly went public with their own declaration of outrage, and the eyes of the entire species turned inwards to the mountainous homeworld of their species.
Hakuri Watanabe looked down at his helmet before putting it on his bed, the stylized SEVEN seeming to stare at him. He sat down in his chair and picked up a small cloth from his buffing kit. No one knocked on his door, in fact, mostly he and the rest of his squad were left alone before a major operation. They were just given their time, time to mentally prepare. Some of his squad would go over their mission briefing, some, like him, would spend their time doing something to relax themselves. Hakuri always found that taking care of his suit calmed him considerably. Granted he could simply turn it over to the squads armorers to be tended to and they would do as good of a job as he could, but he preferred it to be done by his own hand. The symbol of a triangle was on his form fitting shirt, the symbol of his special operations command unit. He was known as a Myrmidon, but the official title of his unit was Section Three. He knew this, his superiors knew this, and as far as Hakuri knew, most of the Terran Front was aware of his unit’s existence, but past that, they knew very little about what he actually did. As far as his mother knew, Hakuri was a pencil pusher onboard the TFS Berlin, the troop mothership that all of his letters were sent from. He thought about writing her, but then again, he only liked to do that when he returned from a mission, not when he was expecting to go to one. If he tried to write her when he was waiting, he would just get anxious, and homesick. That wouldn’t do when he was dropping into a combat zone. That wouldn’t do at all. Hakuri instead started to buff his helmet, waiting for the word to come down which meant they were prepared to jump. A glance at the clock made him pause in his circular rotations. The clock said 1330. Operation Naked Sun was about to begin.
Tika was on his side, Kzia standing at the end of the medical bed that had been adjusted for his turinikan physiology. He felt cold in more ways than one. For his people, clothing was more of a decoration than a necessity, but without his protective plumage he felt the cold stabbing him through to his hollow bones. His diplomatic access was already gone, his privilege access revoked. He heard the broadcast for a preparation to jump, but he wasn’t truly listening. There was no question in his mind he had made the right decision. There was no question at all. One of the humans, a nurse, came to his side and gently laid a heavy blanket over him. The human’s hand lingered on his trembling body for a few moments before it was removed, and Tika glanced in their direction. The female was one of the ones who had responded first to the call for medical service for him, had heard what had happened and why. Tika had gotten very used to being glared at on this ship. He was hated, and he knew it. He knew he had deserved it. He was a party to the vral’s enslavement of the humans, the chua, and far too many others. When he had come to Thermopylae station, he had not even given that fact a single thought. He was born into power, being of the Taratanti. He belonged to the most powerful species and government in the entire quadrant of the galaxy. His people, while mighty, did not seek to use it. To him, they had simply been above it all. When the vral had approached him with the offer to sell captured species at first TIka had wanted to reject it out of hand, but a few had told him to go through with the sale. Such was the nature of this galaxy, or so he had believed. The weak were at the whims of the strong, and one’s place in the galaxy was determined only by the power they could wield. The turinika were not nearly the first to have taken a species and used it for slave labor, and while Tika did not approve of the deal, he had not fought it either. As he looked back to the wall, he remembered what the humans had taught him these last days. When he had arrived in Thermopylae he had assumed he would find the chua species to have been at the very least regulated to a subservient role, if not outright enslaved. Finding them sharing power was a curiosity. He had expected to be treated with all the honor and dignity that his station demanded, that the power of his government demanded. Fleet Marshal Simmons had disabused him of that, and had left him humiliated and shamed. As he had laid in the dark as Simmons had declared the Seventh Orion War, covered in his own filth, feeling as if at any moment he was going to be killed he knew true fear and horrific uncertainty for the first time in his life. He had never faced these emotions, these sensations before. He had always been in power. He had stood with the full might of the Turinika Conclave behind him. He had never known anything other than the superior position. Now, as he lay in the hospital bed, staring at the wall, he was ashamed of how arrogant, how blind, and how short sighted he had been. After he had risen from his own filth, he had desperately tried to convince his leadership of the strength of the Terran Front, how it matched or eclipsed their own. The Conclave was not the unchallenged power in the quadrant anymore. The terrans, the human and chua, had somehow defied fate. They had not fallen to the vral after ninety years of near constant conflict, and now if Tika was right they had come out of it nightmarishly stronger than before. Tika had actually begged to be heard by his superiors, and he had never come close to that once in his life. The chua homeworld however, had fully broken him. If he had not been on the Antares, had not been humbled beforehand, he knew that he would have just clapped his hands together and said that it was delightful. As the transmission from the chua homeworld had come in, and the rescue effort had begun, he could only wallow in his own shame. He had profited directly from the chua’s suffering, the human’s suffering. Again he had tried, and failed, to convince his people, and again he had failed. Being on the Antares, for him, was torture. The lights were too dim, every human and chua looked at him with nothing more than loathing and contempt, his entire worldview had been shattered from the way he viewed the galaxy to his own place in it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the shadow of Simmons standing over him, her voice cold with a lethal rage, hearing her voice echo in his mind, seeing the glint from flashes of light shining in her eyes. ‘We Know.’ echoed in his mind in his sleep, the voice of the terrifying Fleet Marshal transforming into the sound of a vengeful god demanding compliance and promising retribution. Then he had watched the humans and chua, who he knew were preparing to go to war with his people, celebrating the return of the shesvie. Once more he had expected them to be integrated into the Terran Front, but as soon as he learned Simmons offer to them, and what it had entailed, he had been called to his room to answer the latest message from his people. Once again, his people had doubled down, the knowledge of the enslavement of the humans had been suppressed, and once more Tika found himself, and his people, standing against a Terran Front that had every justification to declare war, to right the wrongs that had been done to them. All the while, he knew something else. He knew that, after everything he had seen, that his people would lose. The turinika had not been to war for nearly two thousand years. His people were not ready for what the Terran Front could do, and after seeing what they had done to the vral so far, he knew his people were not ready for what the Terran Front would do. He was afraid of the dark. Tika was absolutely terrified of it now, because now he knew the monsters were real. Simmons had shown him that, but the humans, the chua, they were not the monsters. He was. He had refused to be one any more. He had announced his intentions to his staff, who had squalled in rejection, all but three. Kzia was the first to step to his side, Kikumot and Tziki had stepped forward as well. Never, in his most nightmarish dreams, did he ever think that he would stand in front of Simmons and voluntarily have his plumage stripped from him, performing the act of Kasva. He never thought that his staff would have ever compiled and transmitted the data package they had sent. He had never thought that he would betray his people, if only to save them. Simmons had changed that, the humans had changed that. He knew the terror of the dark, he knew fear for his people’s safety, he understood the horror of war, and for the first time in his long life he could truly look back at every interaction he had had, with every species, that had asked for help in their struggle for survival against the vral and truly understand their fear and desperation. Now he lay, his plumage stripped from him, his station revoked, his status removed, surrounded by a people who despised him. He wouldn’t have it any other way now. He knew that they would listen now, if not to him, then to the civilian masses of the Conclave that would not stand for what they had done. He prayed to the Great Mother often now, shivering in the dim light, hoping that it would be enough. He had been wrong, and in his error he had sullied his own people. He had made them complicit. Even now, he did not know how they would ever be forgiven, because right now he wasn’t quite sure he could ever forgive himself. As he heard the broadcast calling out on the ship, announcing one minute to jump, he felt a hand on his side, and looked up to the human nurse. She was smiling at him. Not a smile born of malice, or anger, but a genuine smile. She patted his side lightly, then turned to walk out of the room. For not even the twentieth time since he had come onboard Thermopylae, he was mystified by these people.
The bridge of the Dhampir was thrumming with music and the vibrations of the reactor and Conrad leaned forward in his chair mount, his eyes almost feral as he looked at the empty space that was the mandeville point. He was positively chomping at the bit. Batz was positively roaring the lyrics to the song that was blaring over the ships speakers. Rev and Dev sat side by side in their mounts, throwing their hands up in time with the pounding bass beat of the sound. Towns was the only one besides Conrad that was quiet, both of them looking towards the mandeville point with complete impatience. Conrad felt like jumping from his skin. Fidget, well, fidgetted, holding his hands over his headset and listening as if he were trying to hear secret messages in the music. They were ready, their pulses were racing. The crew of the Dhampir was positively vibrating. Conrad looked to the shipboard clock, seeing 1330 displayed, and his head snapped to Fidget, waiting for the word. They were going to run, they were going to chase, they were going to hunt.
Vicky sat back, looking towards Jess and Kukat as they slept. Jess was in her chair, Kukat in her medical bed. Vicky glanced back at the block print on the paper and read it for the fifth time. She read the individual lines, one at a time, cursing their existence. After reading through the message printed she let her hand hang again. Kukat would be released from medical tomorrow, and both her and Jess still thought they would be boarding the Thumper to join the Vellacore once more. Jess had talked non-stop about her quarters on the Vellacore the past few days, how she just wanted to be back in her room. Kukat was equally excited. Only Vicky didn’t share their excitement. They didn’t know yet. They didn’t know about their battlefield promotions, they didn’t know about their reassignments, they didn’t know the days of them working together were functionally over. Vicky looked down at her hand holding the paper again, and felt like crumpling it. She had lost her crew. She had lost them not due to negligence, or time, she had lost them to fame. Kukat was to be promoted to ensign, and was to be the sensor officer on the destroyer Hadrian, Jess was getting the same promotion, her station on the cruiser Victorious. Vicky? She was the sparkling new commanding officer of a destroyer that was arriving at Thermopylae in two days, the Quarrel. She never wanted this. She had turned down promotion after promotion that would take her from the cockpit of the Thumper, away from Kukat, away from Jess. She wanted to serve in this war in her own way, as a pilot, with the two who had made her life so enjoyable. Now though, they were to be split up, and there was nothing she could do about it. These promotions hadn’t come from simple seniority, they had come from High Command, as had the orders. Tomorrow, when Kukat was released, they would be ushered into the hanger bay of the Barrowmore. They would all three be awarded the Star of Terra, then they would be reassigned. Tonight was the last night they would all be together. Vicky wanted to wake them up, she wanted to tell them, to give them a chance to process it. As she looked to Kukat and Jess she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She held up the letter again, reading the first few lines, then she felt the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked away, her heart panging with sadness, and stared at the wall. The clock read 1330.
Corporal Brandy was sitting on the small rack, with Janet Shippen sitting between his legs using his thighs as armrests. They were both dressed for the first time in the last few hours, both of them staring at the clock. This close to the reactors they could feel them beginning to spool up for the trip through hyperspace. When the news of the operation had come down they had elected to spend as much time together as possible, which Brandy had enjoyed to no end, and he had made sure Janet had as well. Brandy had even taken some time to reach out to his sister Victoria, a rarity for them both, as since they were children they were often barely able to speak to each other simply due to schedules. He had even told her about Janet, and although he hadn’t gotten a response from his sister yet he already knew what she would say. Janet nestled back against him, but he could feel her body was stiff. Neither of them knew what the next few months were going to hold. Their time together might be constricted, in fact, this might be the last few moments they were together for quite awhile. Brandy’s Ghouls were specialists, ship boarders. Chances are he was going to be extremely busy, as was she. He didn’t quite know how he felt about Janet, but he did know that beyond a shadow of a doubt he didn’t want to be away from her. Judging from how she was acting, she felt the same as him, conflicted about her relationship with him, but not wanting to be apart. He knew what he needed to tell her, that he had to get up, that he had to leave. The Ghouls were going to be assembled at 1345, ready to board. Her unit was going to be prepared at the same time, to begin taking on salvage. Her hands were like clamps on his legs, and from how tense she was, he wasn’t going to get up until she was good and ready. The clock on the wall switched to 1330. He stared at the clock, feeling like the clock was mocking him, when suddenly Janet leaned up and turned. Her hands took hold of his shoulders and she threw her body against his, her lips finding his own. Her arms wrapped around her frame and he tightened his grasp on her.
Simmons spread her hands over the panel in front of her, looking at the table. Seven points connected the recently reclaimed chua space to what was former Shesvie territory, and beyond that, the heart of the Vral Empire. Her lip curled in a wicked smile, On the digital display of the table the hyperspace lanes, and more importantly, the avenues of attack her fleet was preparing to take. She held out her hand, all five fingers splayed over the lanes, envisioning the war as it stood now. The war to come. Seven hyperspace lanes, seven systems, branching out into sixteen, branching out again to another twenty. The Antares herself was going to link up with the Barraki, and was set to simply plough through the next five systems to do so. Slowly she tightened her hand into a fist as she looked along the hyperspace lanes, seeing task forces lined up and ready to jump. Drones had already been sent through. The vral had forces along the border, but nothing that could withstand what was to come. Her fleet was ready. She was ready. The Seventh Orion War was at the end of it’s first month, and had taken back six systems. The first moves of Operation Naked Sun would double that and exceed it, then double it again. She had already given her speech, her task force commanders were ready. High Command had taken it’s time making this decision, and while she had railed against the delay that didn’t matter now. All along the front, individual task forces were joined into larger fleets, ready to jump into the next system and eliminate any vral defenses, but unlike now, they simply would not wait. Naked Sun was to be a lightning strike to cut off as much of the Vral Empire as possible, to deny them their own space, to imprison them on their own worlds. Task Forces were designed around three types of vessels combinations, Lighthammer Task Forces were comprised of corvettes and fast destroyers, the fastest vessels in the fleet, meant to take systems quickly, to devastate unprotected infrastructure, and to eliminate light resistance. Simply put, they were going to swarm into vral space, determine pockets of resistance, and move on. They were going to rip entire sections of vral space from them, calling in other task groups if needed. Thunder task groups were the primary capital fleets, meant to be sent into those pockets of resistance, and neutralizing them, joining with the Lighthammer groups if needed. The cruisers, carriers, battleships, they all belonged to these task forces. Her own task force was called the Nova task force, and it comprised only the Antares and it’s sizable fleet escort. Simmons glanced up at the clock, the time was 1329. She breathed in slowly, then unbidden the thought came to her head and she looked to the report from the two habitable planets that had been scanned by the drone cutters, the information having been relayed to her almost twenty minutes prior. She was not worried about the ground campaign, in fact a reserve fleet from Thermopylae would be the ones to escort the landing ships from planet to planet that her fleet left behind in it’s wake, isolated and defenseless from the wider Vral Empire. Fleet escorting was no longer her job, protecting ground invasions were no longer her job. Simmons was positively growling now, as her only job was to take her fleet and use it to rip the vral out of the stars. Still, the thought nagged at her. On both of the planets that her fleet was set to overrun, there were Vral ships in orbit. On the first, there was evidence that the Vral had been bombarding a small area of the surface, extremely similar in size to the hole that now existed on Zvitia, the planet that even now was being integrated into the Terran Front. In the second system it showed Vral ships in orbit, but whatever they were doing during the time they had taken the scans, whatever they were covering up, they didn’t seem to have gotten to it yet. On the radiological scan of the planet a massive bloom of electromagnetic energy painted a broad region of the planet blistering white. She had sent the images back to Earth, back to High Command, but no one seemed to know what was happening. The one thing that every analyst agreed on so far that was that whatever the blooms represented, it meant nothing good. She took another long look at the radiological scan, seeing the intensity of the radiation, and her lip curled in a snarl. She couldn’t think about that right now, but orders had already been given to notify her the moment that they had taken a planet that still bore the radiation signal. The vral were being damned fastidious about it though. She pulled her thoughts away from it, looking back to the hyperspace lanes. The slow grin entered her features again. She glanced at the clock. 1330. Her hand took hold of the receiver next to her station and she pressed the transmission stud, knowing that Hazard had already opened a channel to the wider fleet.
“Commence.”

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Hi Reddit,
I can’t believe I’m writing this post, but this has been on my mind for the past few months and I really need some external input. I need help to figure out if I’m in a toxic relationship, if there’s something I can do to fix it, if I’m over sensitive, or is it time for me to end this?
Context: I (M26) and my girlfriend (F25) have been together for 2.5 years, and known each other for 8 years. We both live in the U.S. but I’m from Europe and she’s from Central America, met in college. Issues started 2 years ago but when things are good she’s amazing (funny/beautiful/caring/makes me feel unconditionally loved/etc) and I always thought the issues were friction we could iron out together. With time I have grown increasingly skeptical of that. This is my first relationship (longer than 3 months) so at the same time I’m worried that maybe I am overly skeptical, that I only see my perspective and fail to see hers. I want to be fair to her, because I love her and care deeply for her as a person, I am just starting to resent the relationship.
History of issues: To me the issues are all centered in my girlfriends anxiety. Frequently, rather than being vulnerable, she projects her anxiety on me and accusing me of all kinds of things. I have both tried to shake off those moments, to recognize that this isn’t her but her anxiety talking, but it still affects me deeply. Not only when it occurs, but when I am doing something and she seems fine I still worry that maybe I will do something wrong and she will snap and this moment will turn to a life or death situation. I have also obviously communicated my concern over this behavior repeatedly, and every time after she takes things too far she apologizes and takes ownership and we come up with a strategy to avoid the issue from repeating. This all sounds very healthy, I think, but the problem is that we’ve had these issues and conversations 25+ times and here we still are. Some things have gotten better for sure but it still feels unbearable to me. Let me provide three examples to illustrate our issues (from my perspective).
Example 1 - 1.5 years ago: My best friend and I were victims of attempted robbery from people affiliated with organized crime, the event went to court, and after the trial we wanted to get away from everything. My girlfriend and I had planned to go to a Caribbean island shortly after, so I invited my friend to come a week before my girlfriend and leave the day she arrived. We were both pretty shaken up and just wanted to talk things out and enjoy a tropical paradise. The first night my friend and I arrive (girlfriend still in the US) she starts texting fervently that my friend and I shouldn’t see any of the sights so she and I can see them together for the first time. I get where she’s coming from but this is also a challenging time for me and my best friend so I am not willing to completely sacrifice his week with me to appease my girlfriend. Things escalate and she demands my attention all the time. When my friend and I is out she is calling me 50+ times in a row, texting me that if I love her I would respond and that I am ruing hers and mine vacation and though I’m trying to deescalate I don’t see how to. I end up turning off my phone, although she begs me not to, but I’m still in my head unable to enjoy the night. When I turn my phone back on next day there’s a picture of herself with a cut (very shallow but still) saying I made her do this. This event is the low point of our relationship, and I told her if she ever hurts herself or threatens to hurt herself I’m out, and to be fair to her she has not once since hurt herself. Nonetheless, the calls continue after this (50+ a day) and I spent 3-4h a day on the phone with her and neglecting the trip with my best friend. Damn writing this out really makes me ashamed for not standing my ground back then. Anyways, this really colored the trip with my childhood friend and I think I still resent myself and her for making that happen.
Example 2 - 0.5 years ago: I visited a close childhood friend in South America for 2.5 weeks. Because of the events that transpired in example 1, my girlfriend was nervous for my trip. She expressed worry that she would act out in the same way as my last trip. I really appreciated this self-awareness. We therefore talked extensively about how to avoid issues. The first few days were alright, with her being anxious but being vulnerable about it and we managed well, calling once a day and texting 15-20 messages a day (more than I’d want, but that’s a compromise I’m okay with). At this point I make a mistake, but her reactions to it is (in my head at least) not proportional. I told her I was going out with my friend and his friend that weekend, and she expressed that this would make her anxious that I would cheat on her. So I asked what can I do, and we decided I’d send her a text once I left the pre-game, once I left the club, and call her once I got back to my friends place. A little bit much I thought, but I love her so a fair compromise for now. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the moment at the pre-game, and forgot to text my girlfriend. I realized as I was walking home from the club with 25+ missed calls and a bunch of emotional messages about how I forgot because I was around beautiful women and how I don’t love her. Here I understand her pain. She was vulnerable, I agreed to a compromise and I didn’t fulfill my end. 25+ calls is never productive but hey I had some blame here. The following day I call her for 1.5 hours apologizing and we talk things out, and it feels like though she is feeling anxious that she accepts my apology and we have now managed to resolve my mistake. The same night my friend and his friends are going to someone else’s house for a BBQ (which I told my girlfriend about days before). An hour before we are about to leave my girlfriend starts telling me to talk to her on the phone, because I hurt her so bad and when I say I can’t because we are 10 people having a beer before we head out she says she doesn’t care and that I hurt her and now she “wants to make my life miserable”. I tell her “hey I understand you’re upset but I never want to hear those words from the person I love. I know I hurt you but never intentionally”. She says she doesn’t care and keeps calling me non-stop for 40 minutes and I’m worried that if I don’t pick up she will start to call my friend. I try to deescalate and beg her to take a step back and that she is pushing me away by doing this. The whole thing culminates by me getting out of the Uber towards the barbecue and telling my friends that I think my girlfriend and I are breaking up and I need to deal with it. I am crying as I say this and feel so damn embarrassed. Even writing it now I can’t believe this actually happened. Damn. Anyways, as soon as I tell her that I am no longer going to the bbq and I left my friends car she becomes a different person (the person I love) and tells me she is so sorry and realize she took it too far and begs me to order an Uber to the BBQ. She says she’ll pay for it and begs me to go. At that point I’m just so embarrassed at the whole thing and tell her something along the lines of “why the fuck did you push me this far then. I told you you are pushing me away”. I head home, and wonder how someone who loves me so much can intentionally cause me so much harm and I seriously begin to doubt if her and I will ever work. I tell her I don’t think I want to be in the relationship, but that I recognize I’m emotional so I need 7 days without contact to process my thoughts. I won’t block her, but if she reaches out I will. She does reach out (albeit with a nice message) but I still block her.
I probably should have left the relationship here, but damn I love her, we live together, and at this point she was depending on me for her visa to stay in the country. I don’t want to rip all that apart from her. So I say I don’t know if we’ll ever feel okay, but I’m willing to give this one last chance.
To her defense, she take a lot of new steps at this point. She tells her mom and sister everything that happened (including her trust issues and jealousy), she starts with anxiety medication and starts being more vulnerable with her therapist. I am still skeptical that things will actually be okay, but I recognize the effort she puts in and I really appreciate it. The frequency of our arguments decrease, and more disputes now end before they become arguments.
Example 3 - Yesterday: My GF flew to Vegas with three of her girlfriends (I know two of them very well) and I know it’s a high risk trip for someone in a relationship but I honestly have complete trust in my GF. I decided to do a dinner with 3 of my friends (who my GF knows equally well, we’re all in a group chat together and do things regularly together) and they invited a 4th person who was part of our sports team (my girlfriend met her 2-3 times, just like me).
She texts me from Vegas asking who’s coming to the dinner and once she finds out this 4th person is coming she asks nicely if we cannot be in someone else’s apartment. When I say hey I’m sorry but I already said we could be at my place she asks at least don’t smoke weed together (my friends are stoners so 100% chance they’ll bring weed), and I say “I’m sorry but I won’t tell them not to and I’ll join In too if they bring it but you have nothing to worry about. I love you and I’ll call you as soon as they leave?” My girlfriend then goes into panic mode and calls me nonstop throughout dinner. I go to the bathroom and begs her to stop, tells her she is ruining this for me, and ask her to trust me. She still calls nonstop until they leave. I try to keep a brave face but again it really ruins the dinner for me.
At this point I have told her how actions like these makes me feel uneasy and prevents me from enjoying life. I told her I need her to trust me. I told her that I won’t have it anymore. And if anything the idea that she doesn’t trust me around 3 people she knows well with a 4th stranger while she’s at a pool party in bikini in Vegas just seems so hypocritical it makes me ever more frustrated.
In her defense: - Her dad cheated multiple times while she was growing up. I understand this makes it excruciatingly difficult to trust a partner. - She started seeing a therapist ~8 months ago. - She now takes medication for her anxiety. - She now has told her mom and sister about her trust issues for the first time in her life. - She began attending codependency meetings regularly. - She says she doesn’t want me to limit my life just for me to communicate better what I’m doing (I think it’s really possible that I’m bad at communicating, because to me this request feels like it comes from a lack of trust).
She is putting in immense effort, but I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. Even when things are good I’m worried that she’s going to explode and that prevents me from enjoying the good times too. I love her and she’s amazing in many ways, but I don’t like feeling responsible for her suffering. I know that by trying to end things she’s going to suffer so much and she’ll beg me to give her another chance. I don’t want to but in those moments I feel like she’s the rational version of herself and that maybe she’ll never explode again. Can I solve my relationship with her? Is it time to leave? Is it fair to leave when she is putting in so much effort? How do I find the courage to go through with it?
Thanks so much in advance, and I’m sorry for such a lengthy post.
TL;DR: I’m I overly sensitive, can this relationship be fixed, or is it time to breakup? Is it fair to breakup if the other person is putting so much effort in?

I had an avoidant lesbian ex who has bipolar disorder, ptsd, and depressive disorder, we just recently broke up last march 29; our situationship lasted around 6 months and we’ve been bestiess for 10 months. We’ve been through a lot whether as friends and lovers; i can say that our emotional connection is pretty deep and no one had made her feel that way as she said that i was her first love and first crush as well as she considered herself as demiromantic before.
i was the one who initiated the break up because i already hurt her pretty badly and we got to a lot of circumstances already although that time she had tried to fix everything about us, i still choose to let go of her for the better. The fact that she also agreed to me at the first place; as she believes that we might not really meant for each other but she admitted that she still loves me that time. So after that, we got to no contact for almost 2 weeks and i got a heartbreaking message from her; she said that she already had move on, she already have realized her worth and she’s no longer romantically attracted to me. At first it truly made my heart broken into pieces and i felt very confused since the last time we talked i thought she still loves me and she still have hopes for us in the future :((( but all of the sudden all those things just completely faded away, all of our dreams just completely gone.regardless of how hard it was, I’ve tried to accept it and get working on myself as well. After those convos, we got to no contact again for another 3 weeks. By this time we got so see each other and talk again irl after a month of break up, she eventually confessed that she’s already with someone :((( but she still wanna be friends to me, hangout and keep in touch; to me i feel very miserable that time, i can hardly believe from everything she said like bro it just one month after our break up and suddenly she’s into someone new?? Wth i think she’s still mad at me for everything i’ve done even until now and even though she had said she already forgave me, i still feel that she hate and love me at the same time. Recently I just found out who’s her special someone and i got deeply burdened and surprised who’s that; it’s her old friend from grade school, he’s a boy omggg like how?? :[[[ and there’s a fact that he’s the boy who made me jealous and the reason of the confict we had at our past arguments. The fact that i already had smelled something fishy to that boy. Now i think h truly have crush on my ex and he just grabbed the opportunity he had after we broke up :((( i feel very miserable now, this pain is unfathomable :(( i can’t imagine them. I think my ex was just seeking revenge to me that’s why she’s in to this boy, i think he was just a rebound. Please help me peeps i’ve been suffering insanely as ever, i feel bad for everything :(( i’m seeking to any advice please, i need to motivate myself to cope up and get over with everything.

I had an avoidant lesbian ex who has bipolar disorder, ptsd, and depressive disorder, we just recently broke up last march 29; our situationship lasted around 6 months and we’ve been bestiess for 10 months. We’ve been through a lot whether as friends and lovers; i can say that our emotional connection is pretty deep and no one had made her feel that way as she said that i was her first love and first crush as well as she considered herself as demiromantic before.
i was the one who initiated the break up because i already hurt her pretty badly and we got to a lot of circumstances already although that time she had tried to fix everything about us, i still choose to let go of her for the better. The fact that she also agreed to me at the first place; as she believes that we might not really meant for each other but she admitted that she still loves me that time. So after that, we got to no contact for almost 2 weeks and i got a heartbreaking message from her; she said that she already had move on, she already have realized her worth and she’s no longer romantically attracted to me. At first it truly made my heart broken into pieces and i felt very confused since the last time we talked i thought she still loves me and she still have hopes for us in the future :((( but all of the sudden all those things just completely faded away, all of our dreams just completely gone.regardless of how hard it was, I’ve tried to accept it and get working on myself as well. After those convos, we got to no contact again for another 3 weeks. By this time we got so see each other and talk again irl after a month of break up, she eventually confessed that she’s already with someone :((( but she still wanna be friends to me, hangout and keep in touch; to me i feel very miserable that time, i can hardly believe from everything she said like bro it just one month after our break up and suddenly she’s into someone new?? Wth i think she’s still mad at me for everything i’ve done even until now and even though she had said she already forgave me, i still feel that she hate and love me at the same time. Recently I just found out who’s her special someone and i got deeply burdened and surprised who’s that; it’s her old friend from grade school, he’s a boy omggg like how?? :[[[ and there’s a fact that he’s the boy who made me jealous and the reason of the confict we had at our past arguments. The fact that i already had smelled something fishy to that boy. Now i think h truly have crush on my ex and he just grabbed the opportunity he had after we broke up :((( i feel very miserable now, this pain is unfathomable :(( i can’t imagine them. I think my ex was just seeking revenge to me that’s why she’s in to this boy, i think he was just a rebound. Please help me peeps i’ve been suffering insanely as ever, i feel bad for everything :(( i’m seeking to any advice please, i need to motivate myself to cope up and get over with everything.

[US-GA] Duplex neighbor causing a bunch of problems and just recieved a mildly threatening letter from them.
So, let's start with the basics. I've been living in this place for almost 3 years now. Prior to living here I rented from the same landlord in a nearby duplex in 2014. My neighbor is a man and his wife. They've been living there together for about 6 years with the man living there for nearly 15. We've remained cordial to this point regardless of the issues that have popped up. At least, that was the case up until recently. We share a front porch that has railing around the ledge and splitting the unit down the middle at the living room.
So, the issues(these aren't listed in any particular order).
First, Over the last 2 or so years they've taken in roughly 7 stray cats. They keep the majority of these cats outside at all times. This wasnt an issue initially as I didn't mind the little fluffballs on the porch but as times gone on it has become an inconvenience. The cats will shit on my porch and walkway leading from the porch to the gravel driveway where I park. I have stepped in cat shit no less than 4 times in the past 2 months. When I moved in I had a welcome mat at the door. Well , after the cats shit on it 4 times in one week and I couldn't get the shit off it the last time so I threw it out. I bought a hose and spray nozzle just to spray cat shit off my porch and shoes. I have tried non-toxic sprays to try and coax them away from my walkway and that hasn't worked. I have spoken directly with both the man and his wife on this topic and all I receive is gaslighting. They claim it's not cat shit, it's actually chicken, raccoon, and opossum shit. Also, these cats are not healthy. They do not look healthy, the majority of cat shit I step in is diarrhea, and their fur is in such poor shape.
Second, roaches. When I first moved in there were roaches. I contacted the landlord and he had pest control out. I also placed multiple different traps at the same time and they died down a bit. The kicker here is I asked the neighbor about the roaches and his response was, and I shit you not, "oh the woman in the other duplex(between 500-1000 feet away from current duplex) was dirty and when she moved out the roaches moved over here." that was roughly 1.5 years ago and the roaches come and go now. I place new traps every few months to try and cull the population as much as possible. I just believe that the neighbors are dirty as all hell as their porch is a mess and I wouldn't doubt the inside is just as bad or worse. Oh, and to top that off, they leave their cat food open on the porch. So, roaches, raccoons(which I've seen eating from the cat plate at night), and opossums all get their fill.
Third, and trigger warning in advance, domestic violence. I'll admit going into that I am ashamed of what I'm going to state here. The man beats his wife. I have heard them fighting on so many occasions. There was one day where I had gotten off work and started to chill and unwind preparing to go to sleep on the recliner in the living room. I heard them start fighting as they normally do. Well, this particular time they brought it out onto the porch. All I heard out my window was things breaking and multiple banging noises. Then just absolute screaming. She was screaming as if she were being murdered. Then there was silence and I heard him say " if you ever talk back to me like that again I will kill you." this is where I am ashamed. I should've called the cops. I didn't. The dude owns a gun, is an alcoholic, and is definitely unhinged enough to retaliate if I were to try and help. I am afraid that there would be retaliatory violence and it is an uncomfortable feeling that I should not feel in my own home.
Fourth, my girlfriend refuses to come over to my house anymore due to the sad looking cats/cat shit, the occasional roach that she sees, and her not wanting to be at my home alone at night(I work nights) knowing how unhinged the neighbor is. She has heard him beating his wife. She is afraid because "what am I supposed to do if he gets really drunk while you're at work and tries to come into the house."
There are a couple smaller things but this is the gist of the major issues.
So, about a year ago I messaged the LL about the cats shitting everywhere. About a week or so later there was cat litter alongside my backyard fence. I wasn't seeing cat shit everywhere anymore so I let it go.
We arrive now at last week. Got home from a long night of work, kicked my shoes off, and relaxed. Woke up for work later and started to throw my shoes on just to notice that there was cat shit on them that I had already tracked through to living room.
I was pissed and messaged the landlord "Neighbors let their cats back out again and they are shitting everywhere. Theyve already ruined the mat that was in front of the door when I moved in. There are shit stains all over the porch. I don't want to call animal control cause I doubt they'll do anything but I'm getting tired of having to either clean my shoes or dodge shit everytime I get home from work."
He didn't reply, which I expected as he rarely replies.
A couple days later I get home from work to see a note left in my door. The neighbors wife was pissed. I don't have the note on me right now so I'm going to summarize.
She claimed that the cats do not shit on my side of the house. They shit near their cars "because that's where they are used to shitting" she said that all the shit I'm claiming to be cat shit is chicken, opossum, and raccoon shit. She threatened me with this line "you told the landlord the lie about the cats trying to get us evicted so why shouldn't we tell the landlord that the house smells like weed." yes, my roommate and I smoke. Yes, it's an illegal state. She then goes on to claim "the smoke comes through our oven vent and dryer vent and my clothes reek of weed." I call bullshit because not even my clothes smell like weed. This is legitimately the only complaint I've ever heard them say about my living there. Throughout the letter she claims multiple times that I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing and I'm just trying to get them evicted.
So, this is where I stand, all I can think of is get photographic evidence of the cats shitting, but I don't really know what it's going to accomplish. The cats definitely need to be taken care of better and them shitting everywhere is not cool either. The other issues I've noted should probably be dealt with as well but domestic violence is a tricky thing to involve myself in. My Gf is mad because I haven't called the cops but I legit don't want to be shot or be evicted/arrested because I smoke weed in my home.
Afterthought: there has been a few instances of the woman being on something, not sure what, and just being a zombie on the porch. I'm playing games and see a figure on the porch. I look out there and there she stands, facing the road, arms and head down, just trying to keep her balance. That was uncomfortable to see to say the least.

my oldest brother is an addict but had been sober for about a year. he lives with his girlfriend relatively nearby. a few weeks ago, we recieved a call that he had been arrested for several drugs. we haven’t seen him since but we’ve seen his gf who is also apparently using. he’s blocked me and my family out via phones, but there are many other details of the story that make cutting ties incredibly difficult. he’s been violent in the past and that’s fueling my anxiety. i’m leaving the state for 3 months this summer for work and i’m dealing with a great deal of anxiety and stress for my family, in fear that somehow they will get hurt because of him.
i’m feeling completely anxious, stressed, and i’m not sure how to deal with these emotions or process them. how can i put my all into my work this summer while beings hundreds of miles away from my family, worried for their safety every day??