Took advantage of yesterday's lovely weather and headed out along NCR75 with the intention of going as far as I could in training for the Five Ferries later this summer, and getting the train back.
I picked up a pair of dhb Dorica MTB shoes from eBay, and spent my £40 of confused.com reward vouchers on a pair of Shimano EH500 hybrid pedals (sometimes take the bike to work so wanted double sided pedals). Not sure I felt much difference from a power point of view, although there were a few times when I felt my right foot lifting and my left foot catching "up" on it's down stroke. Probably get a better comparison on a shorter route that I know. Probably was because it's new and I was very conscious of it, but had no issues remembering to clip out, and the combination of the MTB cleats and the channel of the shoes made it very easy to clip in. With the dual sided pedals it was also easy enough to get away from lights etc and then flip the pedal and clip in later.
Lastly, I asked here a few weeks back about drink options and as you can make a custom tasting pack I elected to give Torq a shot. Bought 2 each of the Berry, Lemon and Tangerine drinks, 1 each of the Blackcurrant, Lime Lemon, Lemon and Cola energy drinks and a few gels and flapjacks to make it up to 15 items and get a 10% discount.
Overall quite impressed. I usually like string flavours, and these are quite subtle, but refreshing. Think more like flavoured water such as Volvic touch of fruit, the Lemon hydration drink for example is quite sharp tasting like cloudy lemonade. Haven't tried all of them yet but IMO worth a shot, and the custom tasting pack option means you don't have to buy a big bag of something you might not like or buy a bottle (my other pet hate with such things, got so many High5 bottles cos their sample packs are always on offer!). Haven't tried the gels yet but the flapjacks are tasty, although the 2 I had (carrot cake and ginger) pretty much tasted the same.

My great grandfather served in the Austro Hungarian army, he was captured a few months in to WW1 but was held in Russia until May 1920.
I have hundreds of letters that he sent my great grandmother over this time (delivered by the Red Cross) - but haven’t been able to translate them yet. It does appear that he was moving around Russia quite a bit though (as opposed to being in just one ‘camp’).
He went on to make it safely home, only to have to eventually flee Austria as he was Jewish - but interestingly my grandfather and great uncle (his two sons) both buecame staunch communists in their 20’s once they had settled in Australia.
Is it possible that the communists in Russia helped them get home?

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

​

I found out I was pregnant in October 2022, and in July 2023 I’ve delivered my little girl the whole time I had my insurance from my employer that I had had for years. My husband had picked up insurance on me as a secondary insurance. I had no problems with billing the entire time I was pregnant. I had to see specialist have extra scans, bloodwork, etc. anytime I had anything to pay out of pocket. I did so in office and then after my daughter was born, I went for my check up. I was told I had an outstanding balance, which didn’t make sense because I always paid so I followed up and come to find out my primary insurance that had paid all my bills had unpaid everything. I had never heard of this so I I tried to get a hold of the insurance company, but I had already terminated the insurance as I did not go back to work after I gave birth. They did not want to speak with me because I no longer remember and give them my information. Finally I found my member number. I was able to talk to someone explain the situation to them. They argued with me. I told them that this was my primary it always has been. Why would they pay my bills? I never got any answer they told me they would put it down as a dispute And a request for repayment, but I was never sent a letter or informed them paying any bills. They’ve never told me if they are going to cover any of the bill. I’ve tried to call back and talk to someone but I just had to keep telling the same story over and I never get anywhere. I’m getting bills and collection notices for other doctors offices. Come to find out they have unpaid every bill. They have paid from the date that I took a pregnancy test at the doctor, but I was never informed of anything. Just bills and collection notices. How should I resolve this? Should I reach out to a lawyer or should I write them a letter? If so, would anyone have any sample letters? I could try to follow my credit score is in the 805 have worked very hard to get it there and I don’t want the years worth of medical bills piling up. Also, my daughter is 10 months old now I’m worried that my insurance is going to tell me. I’ve waited too long to dispute this, but I’ve tried to contact them over the phone several times and I get nowhere with them.

Last paragraph is the main, if you don’t want to read the context.
My ex gf was my friend for almost 6 years. During those years she ghosted me twice without a reason at all and she would come back regretting it a lot what she did, telling me she loved me, that she kept my poems and letter and that she thought about me almost everyday. I forgave her both times.
The second time she came back she confessed she had been drug abusing and that her life was a mess. She told me doing drugs didn’t allow her to think about what she really cared as me.She started lovebombing me even we lived in two different countries of Europe and about 1500km away. She wanted to come to visit me so badly. Love is blind and I ended falling for her as she treated me so damn well. We talked everyday, a lot, and she finally came to my house in summer.
We started dating and came again in autumn. Everything was perfect but after she left on autumn she started went into a depressive episode where she wanted space and time for herself. We talked less than usual. She asked me if I would dump her for being depressed. I ensured her that wouldn’t happen at any case. At winter I got depressed after a bad medical new. At this point everything began to be complicated. She argued with me for no reason, she was mad at me for being depressed. I begged her for company to feel better which she said no all the time. I was preparing to visit her in a month but she always gave me excuses not to buy the flight ticket.
Two weeks after new year she broke up with me saying I made her life miserable. I begged for a break which she accepted and surprisingly she asked me the next day to give each other good night as she missed it. The first week she gave it and told me everyday she loved me, the next week she disappeared and when I stopped giving her good night she broke up with me. It was really traumatic as she went mad when I suggested she could have BPD as my psychiatrist and therapist know her since we met and for her bad childhood, drug abuse, other weird things she did, and how she treated me during all this time they believed in a high probability she had BPD.
I feel after 5 months I moved on and probably having one of the best times in a long time, but I still feel sometimes the emptiness I have from having someone talking me everyday 24/7 to total blackness. I have my friends and I hang out with them having a really good time. I met a girl who I like and would like to date, but I feel empty. How have you dealt with this those who had been devalued and discarded from one day to another?
Thanks

Hello Roleplayers!
I've felt the itch to write something a little less on the modern side and rather based in the good old west, inspired by the read dead redemption universe! I would like to have this all be about being a little possessive in a relationship, a fling, whatever. Make it all about the passion, the struggle, the craving of romance and need to be with each other all while there is the ever-so-present need to fight for what truly is good, or perhaps, just for that fat cash. Showdowns, robbery, heists, being on the run, maybe a little touch of fantasy and myth in here to make it spicy and interesting.
This could go any way. I have plenty of ideas I would love to share and discuss but the main plot or premise is described below:
I would like this to be based in the region / map of the RDR2 world we can create and shift as we like, so no 100% accuracy is expected. I'd like both our characters to be familiar with the culture and vocabulary of course, maybe have a runaway outlaw involved as one of them, perhaps the other even a figure of the law.
I am perfectly fine if you want to play as canon character! (Bonus points of you write Arthur Morgan for me ❤️)
I don't want either of them to be alienated by slang or quirks that may end up creating any unnecessary friction. I do like a good little difference between characters and make it as natural as possible, since no one could ever really get along 100% from the start, but I want both characters to have a mutual understanding of the time and habits.
A possible plot point could be that they are getting together as outlaws, maybe coming from rivaling gangs, maybe it could be an enemies to lovers situation, or perhaps one of the characters is rather on the "good" side, perhaps even on the side of law to create some tension there.
Events that can take place naturally are great droughts, the outburst of illness, the general fight for survival in difficult times and conspiracy, all of this combined in a longterm roleplay! This can involve characters of all origin, rich and poor, I am very open and like different dynamics!
There are a few things I want to make clear here though! I am looking for this to be a detailed, extensive and hopefully longterm roleplay! That being said I prefer third-person writing, no self-inserts and longer posts. I am talking 2+ paragraphs that consist of more than three sentences per paragraph. Also, I only write on discord, no exceptions, sorry (:
I like my roleplay partners to communicate a lot, in the sense of saying if anything is the matter, criticism and input is much welcome as well as constructive conversations. Further details to be discussed separately!
The following will be an example of my own writing in detail and literacy, something I would expect at least somewhat matched by my partner hopefully. This sample is unrelated to this posts idea and not an open starter! :
The Moon stood high that night upon the treeline, mist rising from the dampness that had been gathering in grass and bushes keeping the surroundings shrouded in mystery as it seemed. In the depths of the forest was a light however, red and smoking, a campfire of someone who had settled there, and that someone was currently being hunted. Deeper in the undergrowth and bushes surrounding the little campsite crouched a woman watching the group of three that occupied the camp it seemed, and also, the surroundings. However, this was no ordinary sight as the occupants of the camp were crimilas on the loose hunted by the law and with personal interest on them, which brought Ilyana there.
She was a sword for hire, eager to complete her job and wanting to be certain this was done correctly so she could gather her pay. It was the least she could do, as much as she needed to, since there was a certain reputation she had to keep up, and also, she needed to keep herself fed and also alive. Thus, she would need to be careful with her approach. The long, slender blade she owned was still sheathed along her side, and she was near crawling forward on all four, her joints bending and used to this, given that she was well aware of who she really was. What she did not know however, was that there was another hunter present that night, that there was someone else stalking the campsite.
Seated along the fire were three man, all brutes with muscles, their skin scarred and dirty, their hands busy tearing apart venison and refilling mugs of whatever they had carried along. They were deep enough in the woods to remain hidden and yet, they had left tracks that were easily found by those that knew where and how to look. Ilyana could not hear what they spoke of, but she knew if she wanted this to work out well, she needed to be careful, and keep her senses sharp.
////////
If this catches your eye please reach out and message me :)

I'm looking for suggestions for a gift for my backpacking partner.
10 years ago he asked if I would be interested in going backpacking with him. Neither of us had any experience with it, but we both decided to go for it. Nearly 10 years later we've bushwhacked in Alaska, canoe camped in Canada, hiked in the alps, and hit up a bunch of other US locations.
This summer will be our 10th year of going (big trip this year is a multi day trek in Iceland). I kind of want to surprise him with something.
Neither of us need any more gear. I was hoping for something more sentimental. Any ideas?

As the last rays of summer sun faded into dusk, I stood at the threshold of a new chapter, my heart racing with anticipation and a touch of apprehension, as I prepared to embark on my first day as a senior in high school. The familiar scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the crispness of autumn in the air, signaling the end of carefree days and the beginning of a journey filled with new challenges and opportunities. With my backpack slung over my shoulder and butterflies fluttering in my stomach, I took a deep breath, ready to step into the halls of academia, where friendships would deepen, memories would be made, and the path to my future would unfold before me. As I walked down the main hallway to my first period class, a girl I had never seen before bumped into me, as she was walking hurriedly down towards the cafe. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed, as she bent down to pick up one of my binders. “Watch where you’re going, good God.” I huffed back. “Geez… it was an acc-“ I cut her off- “You look familiar… have I met you somewhere before?” “Umm. I don’t think we’ve ever met before. Maybe you should get your vision checked.” she replied back, annoyed. “Whatever, asshole.” I sighed. “Excuse me?” She said, raising an eyebrow.” I could’ve sworn I had seen her somewhere before… maybe I was losing it. “Look, this is going to sound really, really weird, but in the near further, you’re going to be asked to play a game. You HAVE to say no, or really bad things are going to happen…” I took a step back, looking the girl up and down. “You sound schizophrenic. I’m going to class.” I said, turning back towards my classroom door. As I turned to walk away, her words echoed in my mind, a strange sense of foreboding creeping over me. But dismissing it as nonsense, I pushed through the classroom door, eager to start the day and put the strange encounter behind me. The day passed in a blur of introductions, syllabi, and catching up with friends. Yet, despite my attempts to shake off the odd encounter, the girl's warning lingered in the back of my thoughts like an unsettling whisper. As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, I found myself retracing my steps through the bustling halls. Glancing around, I caught sight of the mysterious girl disappearing into a throng of students.Curiosity gnawed at me, and against my better judgment, I followed her, weaving through the crowd until I spotted her slipping into a secluded corner of the school courtyard. Approaching cautiously, I cleared my throat, "Hey, um, sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to come off as rude." She turned to face me, her expression guarded yet somehow relieved. "It's fine," she said, her tone softening. "I understand. It's not easy to believe something so... unbelievable." I frowned, puzzled by her cryptic words. "What do you mean?" Taking a deep breath, she met my gaze squarely. "I know this sounds crazy, but I need you to listen to me. That game I mentioned earlier—it's real. And it's dangerous. People are disappearing, and I think... I think you're next." My heart skipped a beat as her words sank in, sending a chill down my spine. "What do you mean I'm next?" “I have to go. It’s Friday, I need to go pick up my little brother from school. We can talk on Monday… just, trust me.” She said, rushing towards the parking lot. As the days passed, I found myself haunted by the girl's warning, the memory of her urgent plea lingering like a ghost in the back of my mind. But try as I might to push it aside, the sense of impending doom only grew stronger with each passing moment, a shadow looming ever larger over my once-ordinary life. Sunday morning rolled around, and I was still as anxious as ever, when suddenly an option appeared in front of me. “Would you like to play Truth or Dare?” It read. I sat there for a second, absolutely dumbfounded, thinking I had completely lost it. The two options, lingering in front of me. If I were to complete all of the dares and truths, I would win.. whole million dollars!? “The dares couldn’t be that bad, especially for a million dollars, right?” I thought to myself, hovering the “yes” option. As the option appeared over her head, my heart pounded in my chest, a sickening sense of dread settling over me like a suffocating blanket. But as the stakes grew higher and the dares more dangerous, I found myself unable to resist the lure of the prize dangling just out of reach. One by one, I completed each dare. Confessing my love to my crush, licking a toilet bowl, chugging a bottle of vinegar… everything seemed, moderately alright.. the thrill of the challenge mingling with the gnawing fear that clawed at the edges of my mind. But as the night wore on and the dares grew increasingly sinister, I began to realize the true cost of my greed. Although, I had more important things on my mind. Friday once again rolled around, and the most popular guy in our school, Jackson, had invented me to his house party. This was absolutely a dream come true, but, how was I supposed to tell my mother I was going to a random frat boys party? As 6:00pm rolled around, I grabbed my keys and told my mother I was going to a movie with my friends. As she was about to reply, a new option for Truth or Dare showed, stating, “tell your mother where you’re really going.” At this point, I knew I was screwed. “Are you sure?” My mother asked. “Actually, I was invited to a party by Jackson, the new football teams quarter back.” I said, shuffling my feet. “Do you think I’m crazy? Absolutely not, you are staying home tonight!” My mother shouted back. Maybe it was for the better, after all, mother knows best, right? As 8:00 rolled around, I was sitting on my bed reading, as a new dare showed. “Sneak out and go to the party.” It read. “Well… shit. I’m screwed either way, at this rate.” I muttered, taking the screen off of my window. I grabbed my keys from my desk, and climbed out into the fresh, cold air. I made it to the party about 15 minutes later. As I took my boots off, and walked through the front door, I noticed my friend Samantha sitting next to Jackson with a group of others, drinking out of shiny, red cups. Jackson came up to greet me, handing me a strange smelling concoction. “Here, I’m sure you’ll like this!” Jackson said, cheerfully. “I’m sorry.. I’m not much of a drinker. It’s not good for you.” I stated, slightly uncomfortable. “Oh come on… look, everyone’s drinking! This is my special, everyone loves this. It has extra lime in it!” He yelled back, trying to make himself heard over the loud music playing from a speaker in the kitchen. “Alright… just a few sips, I guess.” I said, shyly taking the cup from his hand. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it was quite citrusy, and I love sour things. As the night went on, I continued to drink the mysterious beverages from Jackson. All seemed fine, until around 11:45pm. In a blur of flashing lights and pounding music, it happened. Someone spiked my drink, sending me spiraling into darkness as my world shattered into a million jagged pieces. When I awoke, disoriented and groggy, I found myself trapped in a nightmare of my own making. Bound to a small wooden chair, surrounded by four other girls, each one bearing the same haunted expression of terror etched into their pale faces. As the reality of our situation sunk in, a cold wave of despair washed over me, the harsh truth of my actions crashing down around me like a tidal wave. And as I stared into the darkness, the option still hanging over my head like a cruel taunt, I knew that the game was far from over. But as the hours stretched into days, and the terror of our captivity threatened to consume us whole, I clung to the fragile hope that somehow, someway, we would find a way to escape the nightmare that had become our reality. The only times we had seen the light of day, was when Jackson brought food and water down to us. And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, we fought tooth and nail against the forces that sought to break us, forging bonds of strength and resilience that would carry us through the darkest of nights. And though the scars of our ordeal would never fully heal, we emerged from the depths of hell stronger than we ever thought possible, united in our determination to reclaim our lives and rewrite our own destinies. As the days stretched on in our captivity, each one blurring into the next in a haze of fear and uncertainty, a glimmer of hope appeared on the horizon in the most unexpected way. One day, as I sat huddled in the darkness, my mind drifting back to the events that had led me to this nightmare, a strange option materialized before my eyes, shimmering like a mirage in the desert of my despair. "Lifeline, Time travel: Go back to the first day of school," it read, its words pulsating with an otherworldly glow that seemed to beckon me closer. For a moment, I hesitated, the weight of my past mistakes bearing down on me like a crushing weight. But as I stared into the depths of the option before me, a flicker of determination ignited within me, burning bright against the darkness that threatened to consume me whole. With a trembling hand, I reached out and pressed the option, the world around me fading into a swirling vortex of light and color as time itself seemed to bend and warp around me. Within in the blink of an eye, I found myself standing once again at the threshold of a new chapter, the familiar sights and sounds of the first day of school washing over me like a balm for my weary soul. “Wait a minute” I thought to myself. “Isn’t it that in all of those time travel movies, doesn’t your past self seeing your future self create some sort of paradox? Or singularity? Or the end of life as we know it…?” I knew then I had to disguise myself before approaching my past self. As I put on glasses, and changed my clothes in the locker room, I scurried around trying to find some sort of hat. “Ugh, finally!” I exclaimed, grabbing a beanie that was left is someone’s open locker. “I have to go find myself.” I said, bolting out of the locker room door. As I ran through the halls, I had accidentally bumped into a girl, walking the opposite direction of me. As I apologized profusely, bending over to hand her one of her purple binders, she looked at me puzzled. “Wait a minute, have I met you before?” My heart sank. “Umm. Maybe you should get your vision checked.” “Whatever, asshole.” She muttered under her breath.

Record temperatures, record migration, record emissions, record displacement, record PFAS……start building an ark.
Last Week in Collapse: May 12-18, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 125th newsletter! You can find the May 5-11 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
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Flash flooding in northern Afghanistan killed 300+ people and destroyed 1,000+ homes. Hundreds of thousands of others have been affected. Last month, similar floods in the region killed 70+. Four died in Texas storms last week as well.
Venezuela is suffering from record wildfires, which so far this year have burned about 5M acres—almost the size of Sardinia. Some experts think indigenous people started the blaze as an attempt at forest clearance, which quickly got out of hand. “Institutional failures” compounded the disaster when the ailing government responded with an inadequate number of poorly equipped firefighters. Another study from last week examined the impact of wildfires on soil health.
Flooding and “cold lava” killed 50+ in Indonesia, injuring dozens and displacing several thousand. Cold lava is a mixture of water and rocks tumbling down the side of a volcano. Meanwhile, an actual volcano erupted in Indonesia, sending smoke & ash 5000m high; further eruptions are possible soon.
The Swiss Re Institute published a 37-page report last week about natural disasters in 2023—and how much damage, in USD, they caused. The largest catastrophe was the February 7.8 earthquake in Türkiye & Syria, which killed 59,000+ people and caused $163B+ in damage. The report is full of interesting graphics & data about natural disasters.

“Last year, economic losses from natural catastrophes reached USD 280 billion, meaning that 62% of the global losses were uninsured….the insured losses surpassed USD 100 billion for the fourth consecutive year….annual insured losses will grow by 5–7% over the long term…today’s insured losses could double in 10 years….There were 142 insured-loss inducing catastrophes in 2023, a new record. Most were of medium severity, which we define as events resulting in losses of USD 1–5 billion….Over the last 30 years, we estimate that natural catastrophe insured losses have grown by 3 percentage points more annually than the global economy (in inflation adjusted terms)...”

Flooding and heat waves are impacting Brazil’s oranges, responsible for about 70% of the world’s supply. One food analysts declared that the “era of cheap food is over”—in the UK, at least. That may be one reason why UK residents took record food bank packages last year. Madagascar is struggling to adapt to a future with far less rainfall.
France is growing more concerned about a dam on Lake Geneva, controlled exclusively by Switzerland. The Rhône River, which begins in Switzerland and flows south through France, is shrinking in summers as climate change melts Switzerland’s remaining glaciers.
The Tonlé San River has been dammed in Vietnam, lowering the level in Cambodia and sometimes drying the river downstream entirely. Meanwhile, China’s lychee harvest is getting blasted by rain, impacting the world’s largest source of lychee. And, once again, Saudi Arabia is suffering flooding in its inland regions. 7 dead in historic flooding in Iran.
The eminent climate scientist James Hansen posted that, since “human-made aerosols and their cooling effect are in decline,” the cooling effect of La Niña will be counterbalanced by these rising temperatures. He also identifies a “large anomaly of increased absorbed solar radiation at midlatitudes in the Northern Hemisphere” responsible for rising temperatures there. CO2 levels are rising faster today than they have at any point in the previous 50,000 years…and a study of millennia-old trees determined last summer was the hottest worldwide in 2,000+ years…
Record nighttime May temperatures were tied in the Philippines and Vietnam. A couple Indonesian cities broke records for May temperatures. And a number of southern African states saw more records drop. And Toronto saw a record tied for the number of days reaching 14 °C (57 °F). A heat wave has returned to Bangladesh. Flooding in Cali (pop: 2.9M), Colombia.
The University of Washington was ordered to stop a geoengineering project that scientists sere conducting from the deck of a decommissioned aircraft carrier. The experiment ejected aerosolized saltwater in an attempt to reflect solar radiation. A comparative study in Nature Communications of a number of carbon pricing found that, yes, carbon pricing does work to reduce the total CO2 emitted.
It’s that time of the year again. Wildfires in Canada grow, some of which are moving towards the tar sands—forcing thousands to evacuate. 39 of the total nation’s blazes are “out of control,” resulting in air quality alerts in the United States. Meanwhile, across the Caribbean, water shortages have become the new normal, and residents (and tourists) are finding their old consumption habits hard to change. St. Lucia has declared a water emergency. In Myanmar, water shortages worsen, particularly as related to the spiraling conflict.
At least ⅛ of Europeans live in a place at risk of extreme flooding—so says a 175-page report from the European Environment Agency posted on Wednesday. The number of people living in flood-risk coastal areas in the EU & UK is expected to jump 24% by 2050. The graphics-packed report also considers how flooding will impact healthcare facilities, mental health, wastewater treatment plants, the spread of disease, cyanobacteria, permafrost thaw, and much else.

“Europe has seen devastating floods following record rainfall, droughts of magnitudes not experienced in hundreds of years, continuing sea level rise, and increasing lake and sea temperatures….permanent water stress already affects 30% of people in southern Europe….since 2018, more than half of Europe has been impacted by extreme drought conditions….Climate change is expected to increase mercury bioaccumulation in the marine food chain due to rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification and permafrost thawing….Depression, anxiety and PTSD may persist for years after a flooding event….Under the changing climate, northern Europe is becoming wetter in general, but drier in summer. Southern Europe is becoming drier, especially in winter. For central-eastern and western Europe, the trend is less clear…” -selections from the report

Milan suffered flooding last week, the worst May flooding in 170 years. Early spring in the UK has disrupted migratory bird species and their usual patterns.
A 74-page working paper which is not yet peer-reviewed claims that earlier estimates for how much GDP would be impacted by another 1 °C temperature rise is way less than it would be in actuality. The paper claims the real cost (in USD) is about 6x greater. They claim “global temperature has much more pronounced impacts on economic activity than local temperature” and that extreme weather is mostly behind the projected decline in productivity.
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Epidemiologists are worried about how climate change in Africa may extend the life of disease-bearers like ticks and mosquitoes. Other epidemiologists are worried about how cattle may become a permanent reservoir for H5N1. Growing traced of bird flu have been found in wastewater testing in the U.S., but investigators think it may be runoff from infected dairy farms.
Obesity, high blood sugar, and high blood pressure rates today globally are 50% higher than in 2000—though researchers claim that air pollution still poses a larger threat. Of a study participants in Hawai’i, 75% had respiratory issues, probably from the Maui wildfires last year.
The 2024 World Migration Report is out, and its 384 pages are not as apocalyptic as one might think. However, internally displaced people are at their all-time highest. India, Mexico, Russia, China, and Syria lead the world in emigrants; another document contains the definitions for who exactly constitutes a migrant. Unfortunately much of the data relied upon ends in 2022. Data from this year, not included in the above report, indicates a 40% jump in traffic through the Darien Gap compared to the same time period in 2023.

“The last two years saw major migration and displacement events that have caused great hardship and trauma, as well as loss of life….There have also been large-scale displacements triggered by climate- and weather-related disasters in many parts of the world in 2022 and 2023, including in Pakistan, the Philippines, China, India, Bangladesh, Brazil and Colombia….disinformation tactics are increasingly being used by nefarious actors with negative impacts on public, political and social media discourse on migration….Forced displacement is the highest on record in the modern era…overconsumption and overproduction linked to unsustainable economic growth, resource depletion and biodiversity collapse, as well as ongoing climate change (including global heating) are continuing to grip the world….the risk of further conflict has not been higher in decades, as military spending reached a new record high of USD 2,240 billion in 2022…” -excerpts from the introduction

Another report, focusing on internal displacement, came out last week; its 69 pages show a cross-section of about 47M people displaced by natural disasters (56%) or armed conflict (44%). Most of the disasters were storms & flooding, and most of the conflicts were civil wars of some form. This report also provides detailed region-by-region analyses—with sub-Saharan Africa accounting for 46% of global IDPs.

“Conflict and violence triggered 13.5 million movements, the highest figure for the past 15 years….Disasters and conflict are presented as different triggers, but their impacts can overlap, often leading to repeated and/ or protracted displacement….Drought triggered 331,000 displacements in Somalia….Floods triggered 550,000 displacements in Ethiopia….Conflict and violence triggered 3.8 million displacements in DRC in 2023, a slight fall from the record four million in 2022, but still the second-highest figure globally after Sudan….nearly two-thirds of the internal displacements recorded in 2023 originated from Khartoum state. More than 39 per cent of the state's inhabitants were forced to flee, leaving entire neighbourhoods empty….Criminal and communal violence triggered nearly three-quarters of Nigeria's 291,000 conflict displacements….” -selections from the spotlight on sub-Saharan Africa

Experts are concerned about the mental health impacts that climate change has on our minds. Hotter temperatures reportedly increase depression & aggression. Wildfires and storms can cause PTSD. Workers feel stress and desperation as their usual industries are impacted. And air pollution influences ordinary brain processes in many ways.
Some analysts believe “Peak China” may be over, signaling a period of economic tapering-off, as well as a growing militancy. Increasing U.S. tariffs on Chinese goods are continuing to separate the two economies. The Netherlands finally formed a provisional government, though its proposed immigration & farming policies have set it at odds with the EU.
The Federal Reserve, the U.S. central bank, released a 46-page report on potential climate risks to the banking system’s resilience. As far as I understood, most of the risk lies in extreme weather events and the risk to insurance agencies.
Part of southeast England experienced an outbreak of Cryptosporidium, a diarrhea & vomiting illness, highly contagious, which can last weeks. At least 22 cases have been reported. Meanwhile, the CDC is issuing warnings about the more dangerous strain of monkeypox circulating in the DRC, although cases are currently limited to Africa.
North Carolina’s Senate voted to ban mask-wearing last week, under the reasoning that it would make police identification of protestors difficult. An fMRI study found lasting neurological changes in COVID survivors; they “had significantly higher cognitive complaints of mental fatigue and cognitive failure….even two years after recovering.” Experts say a summer rise in COVID cases is coming to the United States.
A study on The Canadian/American Great Lakes found that PFAS levels are increasing in the 3 largest lakes (Superior, Huron, and Michigan), while decreasing in the other two (Erie, Ontario). The study also found that precipitation is the primary means by which the Lakes are accumulating PFAS, since the chemicals are small & stable enough to move through the water cycle. Meanwhile, in England’s Lake District, a telecom failure resulted in raw sewage being pumped into England’s largest and most famous lake, Windermere, on-and-off for 10 hours; and a major British water CEO took a $4M USD pay package last year. And a look into the Chicago River’s health found that microplastics & trash are endangering health & biodiversity.
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An assassination attempt by a lone wolf on Slovakia’s PM left him in critical condition, but likely to survive. 11 civilians were slain by cartel fighters in a few battles in Mexico. Violence continues to spiral out of control in Goma, DRC.
In Haiti, everything worsens indefinitely. Guns have reportedly entered from Florida, a phenomenon which officials call an “iron river.” Police have been put on the defensive against the growing might of the gang warlords.
A brawl broke out in Taiwan’s parliament. An Iranian plot was allegedly foiled to smuggle weapons into Jordan to destabilize the pro-U.S. regime.
Dozens more died in Sudan from escalating violence around Darfur. People are warning about “a disaster on top of a disaster” and the possibility of Sudan splitting apart. Others have called it “hell on earth” as 1,000+ refugees cross the Chad border every day. Disease and malnutrition are growing, while famine encroaches upon 9M helpless victims of the conflict—but the world’s attention is elsewhere.
The U.S. Army Engineers completed constructing the pier in Gaza to deliver humanitarian aid. Some 600,000 Gazans have been displaced from Rafah already, and fighting has escalated against Hamas militants in northern Gaza.
Taliban forces skirmished with Pakistani soldiers for about 90 minutes last week. Taliban attacks in Pakistan, and counterattacks have resulted in a kind of ambient disruption for the rocky border zone.
Violent protests—and counteroperations—are continuing in New Caledonia (pop: 270,000), a Pacific island part of overseas France. The riots, which have killed 6 people so far, began after metropolitan France proposed a plan to expand voting rights beyond indigenous residents. A state of emergency has been declared amid worries about a spiral of violence taking hold.
As the Sahel dries out, experts are concerned about the links to rising terrorism in the region. The Sahel accounts for over 40% of global terrorism deaths—according to the analysts’ understanding of “terrorism.” Mali in particular has reportedly become home to 41 new, different non-state armed groups (NSAGs) since 2007. A contested election in Chad resulted in the consolidation of the interim leader’s power.

“If governments are continually unable to solve regional issues, the people will be at the whim of any terror group that has a basic organization. It serves these groups’ interests to promote insecurity where they can and create security where they want. A “hearts and minds” campaign in the Sahel could lead to long-term and locally supported insurgencies in a land that is currently rife with civil strife.” -from the article

Some wargamers concluded that a Trump victory in 2020 would spell the end of NATO, or at least the end of its utility. Vladimir Putin replaced his minister of defense with a top economic advisor, just before going to Beijing to reaffirm their friendship with “no limits.” Some say Putin is planning on a forever war. Some say NATO is gearing up for one, too.
Russia made several gains in the suburbs of Kharkiv, seizing several settlements which some analysts doubt they will hold. Putin claims they aren’t really trying to take Kharkiv anyway… Russia also made small progress in the Donbas—although they suffered their largest one-day casualties since the start of the war. The U.S. allocated another $2B to hasten the delivery of weapons to the front lines. The next weeks will be crucial on the front. Switzerland has invited 160+ nations to send delegates to a peace summit intended to design a path to making peace in this War.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-Brazil’s flooding was really, really bad, judging from this post and its accompanying images. Across just one of Brazil’s 26 states, 600,000+ people have been made homeless, 100+ have died, and the storm season isn’t over yet. Some of the flooding isn’t expected to subside for another month.
-How specifically might climate change make humanity extinct? This thread crowdsources a number of plausible ways, from ordinary famines to nuclear war and even a massive deoxygenation process. I tend to think it will be a consequence of an eventual nuclear exchange, followed by extended famine and disease.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, doom prophets to follow, hugelkultur guides, directions to off-grid bunkers, ark schematics, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?

Hi everyone,
I am undecided AF right now. We are going to go camping and of course summers are only going to get hotter as time goes on. I am up in the air deciding between getting the Ryobi Days deal with the 7.5in hybrid fan or just getting a bunch of 4in clip on fans for camping (tenting).
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

My sch had like a camp spanned across 4 weeks to join SU, this being the last week. There was this guy who i met earlier on then getting closer on another day . he started texting me out of the blue. he invited me out to like to eat together , then we hanged out at some of the places at sch. dont wanna disclose to much cuz he might use reddit lol.
we talked abt what we thought abt relationships with another friend recently and idk what is tripping with me. but i started imagining these delulu things of us together. right now, I'm inviting him out in a roundabout way to a place. yadayada.
he exercises and like goes to the gym and im like abit chubby not like very fat or obese but like seeing the post will u date a fat girl has like demoralised me to even try. im planning to exercise and work on my body but thats like a plan i had already before but i keep putting it off. i guess the motivation is there.
this is very messy but he reminds me of a guy who was previously very nice to me and we got very close. then he had found out abt my feelings before i found it out myself, then ghosted me without any warning. right now i know now so its easier to hide, but like i dont want to get hurt.
bro whats funny is that im failed a test and i have another test on mon. i should be focusing on studying to get a good gpa but ugh...
never thought that i would be falling in love again aft that bro.omg what should i do..Bruh from reading the weekend relationship posts to the one posting them...

Ive been with my husband for the past 12 years and we have known each other since we were 17. I’ve been around his family for that long. But yet, his parents and I still don’t have a good connection (he’s Caucasian and I’m Pacific Islander). We were both culturally raised differently but my husband is very cultured because he has chosen to be friends with people who come from different backgrounds which exposed him greatly to diversity.
Ever since I became a mom, my relationship with my in laws just progressively went downhill. They were the least understanding and most judgemental folks when I was a new mom. They were a know it alls type of boomers. I breastfed and coslept with all my babies. My MIL did the exact opposite. They were very boomer in their type of parenting. My husband and I are both authoritative and “big little feelings” type of parents. They gave me a hard time when I was going through postpartum with my eldest. My MIL had apologized in the past for her actions as she wants to be a part of my children’s lives. But my FIL never really apologized but just said “we are new grandparents. You need to give us some slack.”
Every Mother’s Day, to be honest, we celebrate it with my side of the family because they are my main support. We see my MIL the day before or after. My MIL never says Happy Mothers Day. She says hi how are you? How was your Mother’s Day?. No direct greeting at all which I find very strange. It communicates to me that she is struggling. I don’t know what it is. But to be honest, if I were ever to be a MIL, I want to be a MIL that will support and embrace my future daughter in law and treat her like my own. My family has warmly welcomed my husband and treated him like their own son. My husband thoroughly enjoys being around my family more so than his side. He told me that he was often micro managed as a kid and his parents asked him too many questions growing up and that they handled everything for him. I really feel for him. He comes from a good family but they are not perfect. I don’t really understand my in laws especially they’re hot and cold & passive aggressive treatment. Every time we come over, there’s always a feeling of unsaid tension. They are nice in front my face but the energy the feed off is very tensed. In the past, I’ve felt very disrespected by them especially my first year as a new mom. Thankfully, I come from a loving and supportive family. My parents are my rock and support.
From what we notice of them, they only care about the kids. When I shared with them that my daughter started some activities, they wanted to come by and watch. I let them watch one of the activities. But a part of me wants to relay to them that you can’t have a relationship with my kids without having a relationship with me first. I’m legit waiting for the right time to say this to them. Today, they asked again if my daughter is signed up in any classes. I said to them that she is going to do some summer camps this summer. I was waiting for my MIL to ask if she can come so that I can tell her how I feel. I don’t care about awkwardness but man, it’s not just about the kids. It’s about me and my husband too.

I don't feel comfortable around my mom and brother, and I felt much better at college with my friends, teachers, and mentors from a mental standpoint. Began to realize that even if my family ISN'T abusive, the way I was raised was still the reason why I fell into certain harmful behaviors and thought patterns.
I've only got about $470 in my checking and savings accounts combined (kept needing to lend family money last school year and they either wouldn't or couldn't pay me back). I will be able to stay on campus throughout the whole year, with the only possible exceptions being winter and summer breaks if my requests don't get approved.
My meal plan will cover any food, any places I might need to go to are well within walking distance, I will be taking my TV and fridge with me when I move this summer, I have my social security card with me, and containers of medicine with me, too. I can work with my school's Office of Student Involvement all year, and I get paid $10 an hour.
In terms of financial aid for next year, I will not get my award letter until mid-July. Last year my family had to pay about $2500, and since my father (the one whom I felt most comfortable with and the one whose information I used for financial aid) is dead, that will slightly alter my award now. I still need to apply for more scholarships and get additional funding. Currently, I am doing summer research on campus from June to the end of July.
The other problem is paying for all my other finances, as well as what my plan is once I graduate in two years. I am studying to be a Computer Engineer. I've seen lots of starting salaries ranging from $60,000 to $90,000, but I have a feeling that sounds too good to be true for most people and need to check if that's not the case.
I also need a plan if
A) I don't win my school's senior housing lottery and have to become a commuter
B) I decide to the 5-five year program and need to find a place to stay as soon as my 4th year is over
C) I get a summer internship next summer that isn't close to the school.
I only know how to cook eggs for myself right now, and I need to learn more recipes. My debit card also expires April of next year.
What are other things I need to consider? Does it look like I have any chance of surviving on my own with these conditions?
TLDR: Need advice, don't feel comfortable home, need a plan to survive if I only have $470 overall

Hello and welcome! I’m Cyber, the writer and artist of the Webtoon comic “Camp Ridgeback”.
This sub was created for discussion and anything else related to the Webtoon Camp Ridgeback.
Camp Ridgeback is a TTRPG inspired summer camp story following the adventures of campers Lucy, Aiden, Quincy, and Casper throughout their summer at camp as they are guided by their mentor (and ex adventurer) Sebastian Smite.
The first “Mini” chapter of CRB is up on Webtoon under the title “Camp Ridgeback”. And the first full length episode will be released this June on the 14th!
Happy reading!
-Cyber ✨🦇

Hey everyone! Random Appalachian here. I just wanted to check back in with you all and provide some updates, as well as some exciting, if personal, news. I have to type this quick, as my work break ends soon, so pardon any typos, grammatical errors, or weirdly structured sentences.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a park ranger in real life, and work at a wildlife reserve in Ohio. We’ve been having some issues with vandalism in our northern woods for a few months, and despite our best attempts, haven’t been able to find the culprit. It’s been immensely frustrating, especially when more paint has shown up on more trails, ranging from slashes, lines, and crosses, to dots and even letters. Normally we wouldn’t get too bent out of shape over a few trees being painted, but it’s well over 60 at this point, and widespread throughout the forest. None of the official people who help us maintain the trails in that area say they are responsible, and yet many of the markings seem to be blazes for trails. However the markings are at times absurdly close together, or in abstract places that make no logical sense. One “trail” is no more than perhaps 30 yards long and runs right along a massive clearing in a semi-circle, within plain sight of the clearing, and goes to nowhere; it goes into the woods, and pops back out into the clearing only 30-ish yards away. Most of our established trails that have been painted already have well-made trail markings of our own, and the trails are well-blazed. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to why these things are there at all. I don’t think it’s anything sinister, though the painter has left his/her paint cans in the woods before, so at the very least, they’re a litterbug. There is the concern about potential poaching, which can be a problem in our area. Sure, deer and turkey are commonplace in my rural community, but they are only that way because of conservation and game laws that keep populations intact. Local hunters play a big part in conservation, and if someone starts taking more than their fair share through poaching, that means less for everyone else, and upsets the balance of things. The sad thing is, unlike legal hunters who often hunt for meat for their families, (food is expensive nowadays) poachers usually do it for trophies, antlers, or ‘fans’ from the turkey tail-feathers. But our painter has yet to take any game to our knowledge. We’ve found no gut piles, blood, or discarded gear anywhere. So, if he’s not poaching . . . what on earth does he want?
Then a few weeks ago, we did find a camera inside our central perimeter.
To put this into perspective, we have roughly 10,000 acres to our little reserve. Only 1/3 is fenced in, containing our exotic animals for our tours, and our buildings that we use to operate. Offices, mechanical garages, barns, and storage sheds, that sort of thing. Usually if we have trespassing issues, it's in the northern woods, which is open to the public for walking/biking trails. Sometimes in the southern prairie reserve we get some wanderers, but it's pretty open, so people tend to shy away from it. But our interior, the central area, most of which is fenced in, is sacred ground for us. We have a children’s camp in there for kids to learn about nature, we have our animal barns, and even some staff housing. For people to walk around in there would be like a stranger walking through your bedroom at night, while you’re in the shower.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
One of our ecology survey teams found the camera in a lesser-used section a mile or so north of the children’s camp. Naturally, they assumed it was one of ours, until one of the staff innocently asked another ranger why we’d put a camera by that lake. When the ranger told her that we didn’t have any cameras there, it began to sink in.
We either have two trespassers, or the painter has decided to move his game further into our land.
I’m hoping it’s the former, that I’m overthinking things, but after all, the mystery painter had to have seen a few of the trail cameras we put up in the north to catch him. Could he be doing this as a form of tit-for-tat? I don’t know, but it’s got us rangers frustrated, and our ecology team is spooked. It was fun and games in the unpopulated north, but now he’s getting close to our people, our guests, and our animals. This is serious now. We removed the camera, but there’s not really much we can do without more patrols, more cameras, and more rangers. With our budget already restricted, the last part just isn’t possible.
My foray into trail cameras yielded no results as to a culprit. In fact, the day I came in early to pull them out of the field, it seemed nothing went right. Only two came off the tree, as I forgot the keys for the locks for the other two. I couldn’t find the last one at first, and darkness fell before I could locate it, so that I was wandering around in the northern district in the blackness searching for it. Inadvertently this helped me find the camera in the end; I saw the red light flash as it took my picture and was able to retrieve the SD card. It was in my long return trek to the patrol truck that I discovered the marks on a remote trail I hadn’t walked yet. A capital O and a capital N were scrawled in various places, with dots over the letters. I took German in university, so I know they aren’t grammatical marks from that language, known as umlauts (pronounced as “oomlout” for my fellow English speakers; for all my German speakers, if I spelled that wrong, I apologize). I’d left my phone in the truck (stupid rookie move for a seasoned ranger, I know) so I couldn’t take any photos, and didn’t want to follow the trail too far in the pitch dark. I had a flashlight with spare batteries, as well as my gun (I’m not a complete moron after all) but I didn’t have time to do much exploring, since I had other duties in the park that were waiting on me. I had some VIP’s that were coming in late, and had to be escorted, which meant I had to clamber back to my truck, swatting at mosquitos the whole way. Nothing on the cameras showed any definitive proof, though we might have a lead on a guy with a bow case on his back. Could be nothing though; it’s not illegal to wear camo or carry things, and it could very well have been a camera case, a backpack, or an empty bow case.
In any event, we rangers are working on a strategy for changing up our patrol routes and putting more cameras in the field, as well as checking in on the children’s camp frequently throughout the night. So far, this mystery person hasn’t actually hurt anything that we know of, but even if this is just local kids having a prank, it’s not funny anymore.
Anyway, on to the other news. For the aforementioned reasons, as well as others, I’ve been super swamped this past month, and so writing on the third book in the Barron County trilogy has been slow. I wanted to release it at the beginning of June, but at this rate, I’m going to have to push that back to late June, possibly early July. I hate to think I’ve disappointed you all, but it’s just not ready yet. That, and I’ve been busy with something else . . . something big.
I’m getting married next week.
It’s been a long time coming, but my fiancé and I are super excited. We’ve known each other since kindergarten and have been best friends since forever. We’ve both been running like chickens with our heads cut off to get everything ready, and naturally, we’re both exhausted/somewhat nervous. Our honeymoon will require some flying, and since my fiancé has never been on a plane before, that’s a point of nervousness for her. I’m sure she’ll be fine once we’re in the air, but until then, she’s a bundle of nerves.
All that is to say, I am working on the story, it’s just taking a bit. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things for all of you and thank you again for your supreme patience in this. You guys and gals are great, and entertaining you all is a massive privilege. Stay tuned for the third installment of the Barron County trilogy, and the epic conclusion of Hannah Brun’s journey into the unknown! Until next time.

Week 1
I saw an opening on Linkedin for content writer at this company SurveySparrow. Looked them up on Glassdoor - US based company, great reviews - so I went ahead and applied.
Week 2
Got a DM from their recruiter on Linkedin asking me to send my CV to another recruiter's email. My CV was already submitted when I applied, so why couldn't you just pass it over? Strange. So I emailed my CV to this second recruiter.
Week 3
Got a call from this second recruiter who asked my experiences for 15 mins. Next day, she gives me a 1500 word unpaid assignment with a deadline of 48 hours. It required a lot of first hand research. Somehow I scrape through it and submit it within time.
Week 4
Recruiters calls me to say that my interview is scheduled tomorrow at 3 PM and she will sent me the interview link. It's almost 2:45 PM but there is no link. I call the recruiter and she tells me the panel is out for some other business and my interview is post-poned for the next week.
Week 6
The next week, I receive an invite for an interview for "Growth Marketer role". I thought I applied for the Content Writer role. Strange.
Interview starts and the guy straight away asks me ...
"Why do you want to get into Content Writing despite having an Engineering background?"
"I don't have an Engineering background".
"Your CV says that you do".
"No, it doesn't".
Turns out, they had the wrong CV of another candidate. The rest of the interview goes awkwardly since he did not have access to my CV nor the assignment I submitted.
Week 6
Recruiter calls me to tell that the panel liked my profile and second interview is scheduled for the next day. The next day, my second interview starts. I ask why my invite says "Growth Marketer". He clarifies that along with content writing, I'll be having some marketing responsibilities as well and that my performance will be measured by my success in these marketing campaigns.
Week 7
Recruiter calls me to tell that the panel liked my profile and third interview is scheduled for the next day. Interview drags on for more than an hour. The guy grilled me thoroughly regarding my marketing expertise (SEO techniques, Digital Marketing campaign success, Social Media Marketing tools, B2B framework etc). Things that I had very little knowledge about.
After asking each question, he had a smirk on his face which made me think that he wasn't really trying to understand my expertise, he was just trying to see how I handle stress. A day letter, I get an email from the company with the headline "Until we meet next time!".
So I just have one question: Is this normal? Have you guys had experiences like this before?

Spoilers ahead.
Bollywood’s roster of adult films is a barren wasteland, dotted by the occasional Tusshar KapooMilap Zaveri release. Yet, there may be hope for the genre as long as trailblazing production house YRF keeps churning out experimental masterpieces. For well before there were Kyaa Kool Hain Hum, Masti, and Ragini MMS, there was Mohabbatein. As on several other occasions, YRF embraced the role of innovator and at the turn of the millennium brought to Bollywood what is till date the industry’s only sex-ed film. Unlike Bollywood’s other attempts at adult cinema, Mohabbatein seeks to educate—not titillate—as moustachioed maestro Aditya Chopra examines attitudes towards male masturbation, specially amongst adolescents. To avoid offending conservative sensibilities, this sociological examination is cleverly hidden within a family-friendly romantic drama tale and presented in allegorical terms.
Mohabbatein features an ensemble cast, led by Amitabh Bachchan and DDLJ background actor Shah Rukh Khan, with Aishwarya Rai as a guest star. Although the cast also includes celebrated thespians Uday Chopra, Jugal Hansraj, and Shamita Shetty, a complete listing is omitted here for the sake of brevity. Bachchan plays Narayan Shankar, headmaster of the prestigious Gurukul boys’ college. Shankar is a stickler for rules, and imposes upon his students the need for tradition, prestige, and discipline. His rules extend to a blanket ban on romantic relationships, which forms the crux of the film’s conflict. SRK plays Raj Aryan, a music teacher and disgraced Gurukul alumnus who has returned to the institute under anonymity, with the single goal of melting Shankar’s icy heart and impressing upon him the power of love. Finally, Aishwarya Rai plays the deceased Megha, Shankar’s late daughter and the love interest of Raj Aryan.
In a figurative sense, Gurukul—with its forced confinement, all-male student body, and rigid rules—is a portrayal of restrictive societies that enforce adolescent sexual repression through gender segregation and harsh oversight. Narayan Shankar, as headmaster, is the enforcer of said oversight and abides by his oppressive regulations to set an example. Gurukul’s official motto—‘Parampara Prathishta Anushasan’—may be shortened to ‘PP Anushasan’, the word ‘PP’ being slang for a man’s meat pole of love and ‘Anushasan’ meaning discipline or regulation. Thus through its motto, the institution reveals its intention to exercise total control over its students’ genitalia.
Metaphorically, Narayan Shankar’s rejection of all things romantic/sexual, and his stubborn opposition to any form of change—stated by him multiple times throughout the film—is an allusion to his opposition to puberty and the sexual changes it brings along with it. His choice of garments throughout the film—dull black trousers coupled with matching black sherwanis—prevents viewers from getting a view of his lush curves and adds to his thoroughly sexless demeanour. Additionally, Shankar takes pride in his habit of staring right at the sun for several minutes every morning, which is a clever allusion to the popular myth about masturbation causing damage to eyesight—a lifetime of total abstinence from masturbation has prevented Shankar’s eyes from taking any damage, and therefore he can stare full-bore into the sun for as long as he pleases. Given all this, it is unknown how he fathered a daughter in his state of permanent prepubescence, so it may be deduced that he somehow reproduced asexually. In sum, Shankar is a man struggling to indefinitely delay his own sexual maturity, and thereby desperately clinging on to a simple, childlike innocence of all sexual matters.
Raj Aryan exists as the foil to Narayan Shankar, having arrived at Gurukul with the singular purpose of altering Shankar’s stunted outlook towards sexual maturity. In an allegorical sense, he portrays the biological agents and changes that act as messengers of puberty and sexual maturity, such as gonadotropin-releasing hormones and testosterone. Visually, his urbane, well-dressed appearance, along with his suave and cultured manner, stands in contrast to the dull cluelessness of Narayan Shankar and his wards, and is indicative of his sexual confidence and maturity.
Furthermore, his choice of musical instrument—the violin—is hardly coincidental. A violin requires precise, well-timed stroke-like movements to be made using a long, cylindrical piece of wood. The sight of Raj Aryan lounging comfortably in a chair and playing the violin with long, languid strokes, whilst wearing an expression of both contentment and pleasurable exertion, is certainly suggestive without appearing crass. The fact that his lover Megha is deceased does not decrease Raj Aryan’s passion in the slightest, as she makes an appearance in his imagination every time he leans back, closes his eyes, and handles his violin. Through such a combination of clever visual double entendres, the film conveys Raj Aryan’s use of masturbation and masturbatory fantasies as a healthy outlet for sexual expression and release.
To Gurukul’s ignorant masses, Raj Aryan is nothing short of a revelation. Like a masturbatory Pied Piper, he draws the ignorant, curious, and hypnotized students to his lessons, where he impresses upon them the need to break free of Gurukul’s restrictive confinements and open their hearts and prostate glands to the power of love. In a metaphorical sense, he encourages the students to accept the changes coursing through their bodies, and let puberty begin to run its course.
To best educate Gurukul’s students, Raj Aryan organises a secret dance ball, inviting over students from a neighbouring women’s college. Considering the allegorical nature of storytelling in Mohabbatein, the college and its students are likely imaginary, and the secret dance ball is actually an educational musical lesson on some of the more practical and logistical aspects of masturbation. YRF films have always been renowned for making their song-and-dance routines an integral part of the story, and Mohabbatein is no exception to this tradition of artistic excellence. As Gurukul’s students shuffle into the dance ball, Raj Aryan takes the centre stage and croons, ‘Aankhein khuli ho ya ho band/Deedar unka hota hai/Kaise kahoon main o yaara ye/Pyaar kaise hota hai’, with the lyrics making it clear that while there are many paths to self-pleasure, the path one takes does not matter so long as the destination is the same. With sufficient practice, a master of the art may hone his skills to the point where imagination is all that is required. Meanwhile, the less-skilled are free to keep their eyes open and rely on whatever visual aids they may prefer. Bearing in mind the wide variety of means and techniques employed, it is not for one man to tell another how best to beat his meat.
This educational demonstration, however, is cut short upon the surprise appearance of Narayan Shankar, who discovers Raj Aryan's attempt to arouse Gurukul’s pupils to rebellion against his rules. Shankar uses his authority to turn Raj Aryan’s movement temporarily flaccid, but a defiant Raj Aryan takes up Shankar’s opposition as a challenge, and vows to bring about love in every heart, a cramp in every right hand, and a scraggly hair sprouting from every smooth chin. Raj Aryan begins his campaign by asking Gurukul’s pupils to each write a love letter upon orange maple leaves. The orange maple leaf is a common visual theme throughout the movie, and for good reason—a maple leaf with its five lobes bears an uncanny resemblance to an outstretched palm with its five fingers, coloured an inflamed red perhaps due to excessive use. Thus, the act of writing a love letter upon an orange maple leaf is a clever visual metaphor for the students actually expressing gratitude and affection towards their own hands for the newly-discovered joys their hands have provided them with.
However, the ever-vigilant Narayan Shankar eventually catches onto Raj Aryan’s actions, and realizes that his fearsome gaze is no longer capable of wilting students’ defiant boners. Faced with this prospect, a desperate Shankar begins expelling students, hoping to discourage their peers and Raj Aryan, and therefore stave off the advent of puberty and sexual maturity amongst his wards. This leads to the film’s climax, wherein a gratuitously dripping-wet Raj Aryan meets Shankar, and defiantly tells him that whilst he may have won the battle, he has lost the war, for despite all his authority, Shankar will be forever left alone, because he lacks the powers of imagination and fantasizing that Raj Aryan possesses. Raj Aryan then reveals to Shankar that despite the death of Megha (Shankar’s daughter, it may be remembered), he still fantasizes about her with perfect clarity. However, as previously mentioned, Shankar had likely reproduced asexually to sire Megha, and asexual reproduction leads to genetically-identical offspring. A horrified Shankar realizes that therefore, by masturbating to Megha—his clone—Raj Aryan has been indirectly masturbating to Shankar himself for the past several years. Left shaken by this discovery of the transitive properties of masturbation, a broken Shankar is unable to recover from his shock and resigns as headmaster of Gurukul, leaving Raj Aryan to take the helm and finally bring about his purpose to a glorious conclusion.
Over two decades after release, Mohabbatein stands alone in Indian cinema. Few films have ever attempted such deftly-layered storytelling in treatment of such delicate subject matter. Indeed, if the bar were ever raised, it was only by YRF’s own other creations in subsequent years. No other films, however, have ever had the courage and wit to portray sex-ed as Mohabbatein so well did, and if the subject shall ever make an appearance in the educational curriculum, there can be no doubt that Mohabbatein shall be required viewing for all students, educators, and educational policymakers.