Even though the relationship didn't last long, at the time it was great. I felt like we were soulmates because we had a lot of things in common. She was very special for me because she was very kind, sweet, caring and I also never thought that a girl could find me attractive. I was pretty much in love with her. She had some issues with intimacy which I had nothing against and I made sure to let her know multiple times that I am OK with it. I should also mention that she was constantly stressing out about some things and constantly overthinking.
2 days after Valentine's Day she decided to break up with me, out of the blue. We spent the last days of our relationship talking about the relationship itself and how important communication is and what do we both want out of the relationship. This is why it was so shocking to me why she just dumped me out of the sudden. This completely fucked me up mentally. She said that she wasn't as attracted to me as she thought and that she didn't feel safe and that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. I spent the next days struggling to fall asleep because of headaches.
Fast forward a week, she says that she wants us to get back together and that she did a terrible mistake. She said that she was constantly overthinking the fact that she is not that intimate and that I was going to eventually end up breaking up with her. I have never said anything like that and I always told her that I am ok with the intimacy thing. The thing is, during this week she constantly went back and forth between insulting me and then telling me that she is going to be with someone else. I just told her to leave me alone because I wasn't feeling well. She didn't leave me alone.
At one point I said ok to us getting back together, but I told her that I just want 2 days without her texting me or calling me so I can clear my head. She didn't give me those 2 days, instead what she ended up doing is she extended this 2 day period to a whole week just out of spite. She later told me that during that period she went to another guy's place and kissed him. When I said that I don't want to get back with her after that, she changed the story, that they didn't kiss, they just kissed their hands.
To this day she just refuses to move on and I can't help but feel bad for her. I got to know her personally and I know that she usually doesn't let people that close to her. She doesn't have many friends. I wanted to be there for her so we can both move on, but she just refuses and wants us to get back. She started telling me how much she loves me and wants to be intimate with me which was a complete 180 compared to how she was in the relationship. It's just that I was the only one she could vent to and supported her when she needed it. Now that I am not there, she just cries all the time and this makes me feel bad.
I don't want to leave her like that because I feel bad for her, but at the same time I want to move on. I was thinking about starting dating, but every time I talk to her she just kinda stunts that progress. I think about her a lot to this day, I loved every single second of our relationship, I know that secretly my heart and body want her, but at the same time my brain finds it hard to forgive everything she has done.
I'm confused and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I launched the first version of my side project typeup.co (a very small launch). Its a free Windows desktop app (not an Office Add-in) for PowerPoint super users that lets you generate content with OpenAI through type commands in specific places of your slide, in a way that is, IMO, more helpful than MS co-pilot, Gamma etc. It also extends PPTs formatting functions with additional helpful options and adds an inbuilt icon library.
With the app you can:

• Use “@text” on any slide to generate content with your OpenAI account (keys stored locally)
• Keep context of your LLM requests stored in threads to make content generation specific to your presentation
• Upload and manage files to generate content from them (see docs on how to use threads)
• Extended alignment functions e.g. align grid/circle or space add exact spacing between objects - for PPT snobs like myself :)
• Inbuilt icons from the Feather library

App runs locally, and all data is stored on your machine. Most of features should be pretty straight forward but if you're using the type commands to generate text, I highly recommend reading the docs to get familiar with the syntax.
I've really enjoyed using it so far... maybe 1-2 of you will find it useful too. Expect some bugs :) ...let me know and I will fix them when I can
NOTE
Chrome might try to block the download because the .zip file contains the .exe installer. You may have to manually allow the download (working on a fix… let me know if anyone has ideas).

Even though the relationship didn't last long, at the time it was great. I felt like we were soulmates because we had a lot of things in common. She was very special for me because she was very kind, sweet, caring and I also never thought that a girl could find me attractive. I was pretty much in love with her. She had some issues with intimacy which I had nothing against and I made sure to let her know multiple times that I am OK with it. I should also mention that she was constantly stressing out about some things and constantly overthinking.
2 days after Valentine's Day she decided to break up with me, out of the blue. We spent the last days of our relationship talking about the relationship itself and how important communication is and what do we both want out of the relationship. This is why it was so shocking to me why she just dumped me out of the sudden. This completely fucked me up mentally. She said that she wasn't as attracted to me as she thought and that she didn't feel safe and that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. I spent the next days struggling to fall asleep because of headaches.
Fast forward a week, she says that she wants us to get back together and that she did a terrible mistake. She said that she was constantly overthinking the fact that she is not that intimate and that I was going to eventually end up breaking up with her. I have never said anything like that and I always told her that I am ok with the intimacy thing. The thing is, during this week she constantly went back and forth between insulting me and then telling me that she is going to be with someone else. I just told her to leave me alone because I wasn't feeling well. She didn't leave me alone.
At one point I said ok to us getting back together, but I told her that I just want 2 days without her texting me or calling me so I can clear my head. She didn't give me those 2 days, instead what she ended up doing is she extended this 2 day period to a whole week just out of spite. She later told me that during that period she went to another guy's place and kissed him. When I said that I don't want to get back with her after that, she changed the story, that they didn't kiss, they just kissed their hands.
To this day she just refuses to move on and I can't help but feel bad for her. I got to know her personally and I know that she usually doesn't let people that close to her. She doesn't have many friends. I wanted to be there for her so we can both move on, but she just refuses and wants us to get back. She started telling me how much she loves me and wants to be intimate with me which was a complete 180 compared to how she was in the relationship. It's just that I was the only one she could vent to and supported her when she needed it. Now that I am not there, she just cries all the time and this makes me feel bad.
I don't want to leave her like that because I feel bad for her, but at the same time I want to move on. I was thinking about starting dating, but every time I talk to her she just kinda stunts that progress. I think about her a lot to this day, I loved every single second of our relationship, I know that secretly my heart and body want her, but at the same time my brain finds it hard to forgive everything she has done.
I'm confused and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I've been trying to solve this optimisation process since yesterday using solver and VBA (my first time).
It's only giving my 0 as a results, do you have any idea how to fix it ? i've also tried using Gurido but couldn't get my model to work either
here is my excel sheets after i run the script :
https://preview.redd.it/4jwppboa9d1d1.png?width=2405&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4e177e4e6ae11867a70a64339b290567e70b2c3
Here is my script :

Sub OptimizeSupplyChain() Dim ws As Worksheet Set ws = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("SupplyChain") ' Define ranges for demands, costs, and capacities Dim demandRange As Range Dim orderCostRange As Range Dim stockCostRange As Range Dim transportCostRange As Range Dim warehouseCapacityRange As Range ' Set ranges Set demandRange = ws.Range("B2:D7") ' Demand data Set orderCostRange = ws.Range("G2:G7") ' Order cost data Set stockCostRange = ws.Range("H2:H7") ' Stock cost data Set transportCostRange = ws.Range("K2:P4") ' Transport cost data Set warehouseCapacityRange = ws.Range("S2:S4") ' Warehouse capacity data ' Define decision variables range Dim decisionVars As Range Set decisionVars = ws.Range("B10:G12") ' Decision variables range ' Clear previous solver settings SolverReset ' Define the objective function cell (total cost) Dim totalCostCell As Range Set totalCostCell = ws.Range("Z10") ' Assuming total cost is calculated here ' Ensure totalCostCell is actually calculating the total cost ' You might need to verify that the formula in Z10 is correct and refers to decisionVars ' Set the objective function: minimize total cost SolverOk SetCell:=totalCostCell.Address, MaxMinVal:=2, ValueOf:=0, ByChange:=decisionVars.Address ' Add constraints for demand fulfillment Dim i As Integer For i = 1 To demandRange.Rows.Count ' For each demand SolverAdd CellRef:=ws.Cells(13, i + 1).Address, Relation:=2, FormulaText:=demandRange.Cells(i, 1).Address Next i ' Add constraints for warehouse capacities Dim j As Integer For j = 1 To warehouseCapacityRange.Rows.Count ' For each warehouse SolverAdd CellRef:=ws.Range(ws.Cells(10 + j - 1, 2), ws.Cells(10 + j - 1, 7)).Address, Relation:=1, FormulaText:=warehouseCapacityRange.Cells(j, 1).Address Next j ' Ensure decision variables are non-negative SolverAdd CellRef:=decisionVars.Address, Relation:=3, FormulaText:="0" ' Set solver options SolverOptions MaxTime:=100, Iterations:=100, Precision:=0.000001, AssumeNonNeg:=True ' Run solver SolverSolve UserFinish:=True ' Keep the solver solution SolverFinish KeepFinal:=1 End Sub 

Hi,
Here's some DD on Intel. There's a lot of bullshit, just read the TL;DR.
My position:
17 Dec25 $60 Calls, net basis of $1.57, unrealized total gain/loss of ($842.18).
Before discussing ratios, technicals, etc. Let's go through the most relevant business units.

Revenue Analysis

CPU Market
Intel currently produces the fastest CPU chip on the market in the 14-900K and 14-900KS on 10nm lithography, compared to the AMD's 7950x3D on 5nm.
While Intel does fall short in categories beyond speed compared to AMD, such as being much more power-hungry (on a turbo overclock Intel's flagship chip consumes 253W's compared to 162W for AMD) and prone to instability (seen in recent reports of motherboard crashes,) Intel still retains 78-82% of CPU Market share as of February.
Intel will likely retain this CPU dominance in the coming years with its adoption of more recent industry technologies like EUV tech, which should allow for convergence and then surpassing TSMC's manufacturing edge by late 2025/early 2026. Additionally, if Intel is able to effectively compete on old lithography at 10nm, if they were to reach parity of lithography <=5nm, they could actually expand their CPU dominance.
Therefore, Intel's share of the PC/OEM revenue from CPU sales will likely remain consistent and potentially improve depending on AMD's ability to implement new 3D memory and transistor designs, and as 40-45% of Intel's revenue is derived from this market, as PC sales return from the 2022 post-covid collapse, we can expect Intel's revenue to grow at least in line with the growth of PC/workstation sales, which, though weak in Q1, is set for healthy growth throughout FY24 and FY25.
GPU/AI Accelerator Market
Intel did not even compete in this market until April of this year with its launch of Gaudi 3, and as Nvidia currently holds 98% of the data center GPU market, a near-absolute monopoly, raking in $47.5B of revenue in FY23, even if Intel is only able to capture 4% of that market share from Nvidia, that's ~$2B of additional revenue on top of its existing FY23 revenue of $55.4B, and that's assuming Intel only captures 4% of Nvidia's current market share.
Until we see how Intel's accelerator actually performs in the market, however, I don't think additional assumptions can be reasonably made.
Foundry
Intel's foundry business has gotten a lot of bad news lately, especially due to the restructuring of financial statements to better reflect the amount of revenue it eats up.
But I think it's important to realize that by dividing up intel into the design business and the foundry business as separate units, we're likely to see each business more successfully compete against their respective peers (TSMC vs. Intel Foundry, and AMD/Nvidia vs. Intel Design.) But not enough time has passed since the change to see any evidence to substantiate a theory one way or another yet.
And as near-shoring continues and funds from the CHIPS Act are handed out, I do want to point out that Intel's foundry competitor, TSMC, has never operated a chips manufacturing plant in America before, compared to Intel, a company very familiar with American chip manufacturing. And I don't think it's a given that TSMC's new American plants will operate as successfully here as they did in Taiwan, due to staffing and cultural issues; staffing issues would impact Intel's new plants as well of course, but if the issues are cultural, rather than just the ability to find skilled employees, TSMC could lose margin and benefit less from the CHIPS Act than Intel.
But TSMC could also retain its advantage by investing in other Western countries with similar cultures to Taiwan such as Japan and South Korea, which it has already begun. But Intel doesn't need to dominate TSMC, or even effectively compete with the company: if Intel just broke even on its costs, that would be an additional $7B of revenue on top of Intel's trailing annual revenue of $55.4B.

Stock Pricing

Now that we know where Intel stands against its competitors in key products, how does it price against these competitors?
It currently sits with a TTM P/E of 33.6x compared to 237x for AMD, 79x for NVDA, 29x for TSMC (I believe AMD and NVDA are more relevant for price comparisons given their revenue is gotten from Intel's main source of revenue, design, rather than manufacturing, with TSMC.)
Intel's forward P/E is 28.8x, compared to 47x for AMD, 38.2x for NVDA, and 23.4x for TSMC.
Intel has a dividend of 1.56%, AMD has no dividend, NVDA has a 0.02% dividend, and TSMC has a dividend of 1%.
So compared to its design peers, the stock is cheap; compared to its manufacturing peer it's modestly expensive.

Technicals

Intel's stock is within 20% of its 52-week low.
MACD (12,26) is -1.6.
EMA (9) is -2.1.
RSI of 41, off a recent low of 23.

Conclusion

There are better things to buy while we wait for Intel's turnaround to materialization, but Intel is actively trying to revive itself and it's comparatively cheap.
TL;DR
Intel's revenue could pop with the secular return of the PC/Workstation market next year, the CHIPS Act allowing for margin expansion in the foundry business, and the entrance into the AI market with Gaudi 3, but much remains in the air as the CHIPS Act funds were just allocated (not even distributed), Gaudi 3 just launched, and the foundry business was just separated as its own business unit recently.
I wouldn't recommend jumping in until more data comes out on their turnaround.
I'm aiming for a price of $45 before my expiration date as a gamble on the return of PC sales, the success of future Intel GPUs, and the fact I don't want to lose money.

This usually happens but I usually get past it by using my manual save option but this time all my autosaves and manual saves crashes when I try to load it in. I have made the stupid mistake of making one manual save of this world even tho I knew this happens. It might have to do this is a cracked version of the game I downloaded but I would like to try get my world back since I have around 130 hours in it :')
Crash Dump Text 0.000 2024-05-19 15:05:14; Factorio 1.1.101 (build 62011, win64, steam)
0.000 Operating system: Windows 10 (build 19045)
0.000 Initializing Steam API.
0.001 Program arguments: "D:\Desktop\GAMES\factorio\Factorio.v1.1.101\Factorio.v1.1.101\Factorio.v1.1.101\bin\x64\factorio.exe"
0.001 Config path: C:/Users/TyleAppData/Roaming/Factorio/config/config.ini
0.001 Read data path: D:/Desktop/GAMES/factorio/Factorio.v1.1.101/Factorio.v1.1.101/Factorio.v1.1.101/data
0.001 Write data path: C:/Users/TyleAppData/Roaming/Factorio [180355/475708MB]
0.001 Binaries path: D:/Desktop/GAMES/factorio/Factorio.v1.1.101/Factorio.v1.1.101/Factorio.v1.1.101/bin
0.008 System info: [CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 3600 6-Core Processor, 12 cores, RAM: 5757/16332 MB, page: 6886/17356 MB, virtual: 4256/134217727 MB, extended virtual: 0 MB]
0.050 Memory info:
0.050 [0]: Unknown CMK8GX4M1A2666C16 8192 MB 2133 MHz 1.2 v
0.050 [1]: Unknown CMK8GX4M1A2666C16 8192 MB 2133 MHz 1.2 v
0.051 Display options: [FullScreen: 1] [VSync: 1] [UIScale: automatic (100.0%)] [Native DPI: 1] [Screen: 255] [Special: lmw] [Lang: en]
0.285 Video driver: windows
0.285 Available displays: 1
0.285 [0]: \\.\DISPLAY1 - NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 {0x05, [0,0], 1920x1080, 32bit, 75Hz}
0.313 [Direct3D11] Display: 0, Output: 0, DisplayAdapter: 0, RenderingAdapter: 0; d3dcompiler_47.dll
0.586 Initialised Direct3D[0]: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660; id: 10de-2184; driver: nvldumdx.dll 31.0.15.5244
0.586 D3D Feature Level: 11.1, DXGI 1.5+, SwapChain: 3,flip-discard,-,-,-,none
0.586 [Local Video Memory] Budget: 5198MB, CurrentUsage: 23MB, Reservation: 0/2727MB
0.586 [Non-Local Vid.Mem.] Budget: 7501MB, CurrentUsage: 16MB, Reservation: 0/3878MB
0.586 Tiled resources: Tier 2
0.586 Unified Memory Architecture: No
0.586 BGR 565 Supported: Yes
0.586 MaximumFrameLatency: 3, GPUThreadPriority: 0
0.587 Graphics settings preset: very-high
0.587 Dedicated video memory size 5966 MB
0.639 Desktop composition is active.
0.639 Graphics options: [Graphics quality: high] [Video memory usage: all] [DXT: high-quality] [Color: 32bit]
0.639 [Max threads (load/render): 32/8] [Max texture size: 0] [Tex.Stream.: 0] [Rotation quality: normal] [Other: STDCWT] [B:0,C:0,S:100]
0.667 [Audio] Backend:SDL(default); Driver:wasapi, Device:Headset Earphone (HyperX Virtual Surround Sound), Depth:16, Channels:2, Frequency:44100
0.755 Loading mod core 0.0.0 (data.lua)
0.808 Loading mod base 1.1.101 (data.lua)
1.016 Loading mod base 1.1.101 (data-updates.lua)
1.135 Checksum for core: 905122912
1.135 Checksum of base: 1054619811
1.309 Prototype list checksum: 3034860339
1.362 Loading sounds...
1.502 Info PlayerData.cpp:78: Local player-data.json unavailable
1.502 Info PlayerData.cpp:81: Cloud player-data.json available, timestamp 1716116146
1.631 Initial atlas bitmap size is 16384
1.668 Created atlas bitmap 16384x16384 [none]
1.672 Created atlas bitmap 16384x13048 [none]
1.672 Created atlas bitmap 8192x4208 [decal]
1.673 Created atlas bitmap 16384x5568 [low-object]
1.674 Created atlas bitmap 8192x4448 [mipmap, linear-minification, linear-magnification, linear-mip-level]
1.675 Created atlas bitmap 16384x6064 [terrain, mipmap, linear-minification, linear-mip-level]
1.675 Created atlas bitmap 4096x3216 [terrain-effect-map, mipmap, linear-minification, linear-mip-level]
1.675 Created atlas bitmap 4096x1856 [smoke, mipmap, linear-minification, linear-magnification]
1.676 Created atlas bitmap 4096x3088 [mipmap]
1.676 Created atlas bitmap 8192x2272 [icon, not-compressed, mipmap, linear-minification, linear-magnification, linear-mip-level]
1.676 Created atlas bitmap 8192x1496 [alpha-mask]
1.679 Created atlas bitmap 16384x14776 [shadow, linear-magnification, alpha-mask]
1.680 Created atlas bitmap 8192x2352 [shadow, mipmap, linear-magnification, alpha-mask]
1.680 Created atlas bitmap 2048x240 [icon-background, not-compressed, mipmap, linear-minification, linear-magnification, linear-mip-level, ]
1.685 Texture processor created (2048). GPU accelerated compression Supported: yes, Enabled: yes/yes. Test passed. YCoCgDXT PSNR: 35.83, BC3 PSNR: 33.82
2.280 Parallel Sprite Loader initialized (threads: 11)
8.983 Sprites loaded
9.017 Generated mipmaps (4) for atlas [3] of size 16384x5568
9.028 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [4] of size 8192x4448
9.050 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [5] of size 16384x6064
9.061 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [6] of size 4096x3216
9.072 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [7] of size 4096x1856
9.113 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [8] of size 4096x3088
9.124 Generated mipmaps (5) for atlas [9] of size 8192x2272
9.135 Generated mipmaps (3) for atlas [12] of size 8192x2352
9.153 Custom mipmaps uploaded (1942)
9.250 Factorio initialised
9.270 Steam Storage Quota: 1233/1234
95.816 Loading map C:\Users\brian\AppData\Roaming\Factorio\saves\new.zip: 24943725 bytes.
95.861 Loading level.dat: 66668074 bytes.
95.865 Info Scenario.cpp:204: Map version 1.1.101-1
Factorio crashed. Generating symbolized stacktrace, please wait ...
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B275D22C)
00007FF6B275D22C (factorio): (filename not available): luaL_openlibs
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B203DC51)
00007FF6B203DC51 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B203DD57)
00007FF6B203DD57 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B203E3D2)
00007FF6B203E3D2 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B203E361)
00007FF6B203E361 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B188B847)
00007FF6B188B847 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1D07710)
00007FF6B1D07710 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1D06278)
00007FF6B1D06278 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1E2F842)
00007FF6B1E2F842 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1E2AABC)
00007FF6B1E2AABC (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B24229A0)
00007FF6B24229A0 (factorio): (filename not available): lua_gethook
ERROR: SymGetSymFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1466DB9)
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B1466DB9)
00007FF6B1466DB9 (factorio): (filename not available): (function-name not available)
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FF6B2859178)
00007FF6B2859178 (factorio): (filename not available): luaL_openlibs
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FFE23337344)
00007FFE23337344 (KERNEL32): (filename not available): BaseThreadInitThunk
ERROR: SymGetLineFromAddr64, GetLastError: 487 (Address: 00007FFE253426B1)
00007FFE253426B1 (ntdll): (filename not available): RtlUserThreadStart
Stack trace logging done
96.239 Error FluidManager.cpp:474: connectionRecord.otherConnectionIndex < targetFluidBox->connections.size() was not true
96.239 Error CrashHandler.cpp:641: Received 22
Logger::writeStacktrace skipped.
96.285 Info CrashHandler.cpp:315: Executable CRC: 2602457318
96.285 Error Util.cpp:100: Unexpected error occurred. If you're running the latest version of the game you can help us solve the problem by posting the contents of the log file on the Factorio forums.
Please also include the save file(s), any mods you may be using, and any steps you know of to reproduce the crash.
98.037 Uploading log file
98.064 Error CrashHandler.cpp:266: Heap validation: success.
98.064 Creating crash dump.
98.200 CrashDump success

TLDR: My boyfriend is amazing, but has depression which makes him constantly upset and irritated with me, making me extremely paranoid and on edge with everything I say because i’m scared he’ll get upset. He keeps saying he’d change, but goes back to how he was, but he is now seemingly making more of an effort to change by changing his medication and going to therapy. I still feel very paranoid and anxious with him even though he is doing better, but i’m worried that in the process of him getting fully better, he’ll go back to how he was, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take. He is an amazing man and I love him so much, but I’m worried I will always feel on edge when I’m with him. Any advice?
Hi! A little backstory, my boyfriend (19M) suffers from depression, and has always taken medication for it since he was younger. Right before we met, he had taken a gap year to focus on his mental health, and got to a point where he went off his medication because he didn’t like how it made him feel (zombie-like). We first met (we technically already knew each other but that’s besides the point)around 4-5 months before he would’ve started college again, and got together around 2 months into being friends. As school came around, he became really scared that he would have to take another gap semesteyear, because even though getting off his medication helped to an extent, he was still struggling with dealing with his mental health. At the same time, he was worried about getting on medication because he told me that he experiences and adjustment period for the first 6 weeks that causes him to become irritable and agitated very easily and have increased suicidal ideation, but even after the adjustment period, irritability would still be a side effect that he had to deal with and manage.
Eventually, when school started, his mental health did become worse, so he decided to get on medication again, and he did go through an adjustment period. It was a struggle- it was hard seeing him very sad and depressed all the time, and I always tried to help him as best as I could- offering to help him get ready in the morning/drive him to school if he couldn’t get out of bed, helping him with assignments, etc.
At the same time, he definitely became constantly agitated with me. If I didn’t hear him say something and asked him to repeat it (although this was also an issue before he started the medication, but i feel like it got more pronounced), he would basically get very clearly annoyed and quiet, barely talking to me or shutting me down with one word responses. If i didn’t text him for a couple of hours (i have adhd and will sometimes forget to text, which i know is reasonable to be upset about, but he would also do the same thing when playing games with friends), or talked just a bit too much (another adhd symptom, which again i understand can get annoying because i can sometimes go on for VERY long), or if i forget something (an item, memory, or something he told me before), or if we have a recurring joke but for some reason just didn’t like it that day, or if i called him on the phone unprompted (which he does to me too, so i didn’t know that was something i couldn’t do) or if i just say any normal thing but for some reason he just didn’t like it that day, i would be met with irritation, passive aggressiveness, and the silent treatment. I would’ve been slightly more okay with it if it was just a few minutes and then he was back to normal, but he would continue like this for HOURS. If we started talking in the evening, and i said something that slightly annoyed him, it was basically a guarantee that he would be essentially silent for the rest of the night. Not only that, but this happened almost every single day.
I’d like to note that he never expressed his irritation in an angry way, or yelled/said harmful things about me/did anything physical, he would just become very quiet, and anything he did say was very clearly in an irritated voice, as well as passive aggressive remarks.
Eventually, I talked about this with him. When i did, i basically completely forgot that his medication was a reason for a lot of what was happening, so when i talked to him about it, I didn’t mention medication at all. He told me that his medication caused a lot of his agitation and at first accused me of not believing that his medication caused side effects/not taking them seriously, but eventually apologized and said that it wasn’t an excuse and that he’d do better, but also said that sometimes i misinterpreted him as upset when he really wasn’t (which tbh i don’t believe, because sometimes if i pointed something out that he did, he’d say he wasn’t upset or annoyed at all, but a day or two later, tell me he was irritated with me).
He did do better for a bit, but after around a month it basically went to the same way it was before. This went on for a few months, I continued to have conversations with him, he continued to tell me he’d do better, and he would be a bit until he wasn’t. To be fair, after the 6 week adjustment period was over, he still was not doing well at all for about another month, and so he increased his medication dose, which made him have another adjustment period, and he did tell me that his biggest concern was how he’d treat me during that time, so I decided to keep being patient until he got his medication under control.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I was seeing improvements- until about 2 months ago. We saw each other a lot more often; before this time, we’d usually see each other 1-2 times a week and we’d have some sleepovers, but in those two months, i’d stay over at his house for 3-5 days a week. During this time, his irritation got way worse. He definitely valued his independence, but would continuously ask me to stay over, it wasn’t like I urged him to let me stay over. Here are some examples of things that happened:

1. before i came over, he told me how he didn’t want to think about making food because he was stressed over schoolwork. I asked him if I could make him something, he told me yes, so I made pizza while he showered. I’ve made pizza several times before, he made it once with me(also, i’ve cooked for years while he only started occasionally baking things when we got together since i liked to cook/bake), and when he came down, he saw the pizza dough was slightly stickier than it looked when he made it with me. He got annoyed and kept asking what I did wrong, and that from now on, i should only cook when he was with me to make sure I don’t mess it up, and then basically became extremely quiet for the next 15-30 minutes. I think he realized he sounded super weird saying this, and tried to turn it into a joke after those 30 minuted, but it made me feel really bad in the moment becsude I only wanted to do something nice for him. By the way, the pizza turned out great- my friend came over to eat with us and told us it was one of the best pizzas she’s ever had.
   
2. These next few are connected: The next day, he was at school, and I happened to not have school that day so I stayed at his house while he was there to rest because I had a really bad headache. Again, the past few days he told me how stressed he was about school, so I wanted to surprise him. I cleaned his room, made pizza sauce for pizza since we had extra dough (he really likes the pizza), and made him cookies because he told me he was craving them a few days before. He took an uber to school (he couldn’t drive yet at this point), and so I also offered to pick him up.
   

* The first thing that happened was he has a mildly confusing alarm system I had to disable before going outside to get to the car. If i didn’t do the steps correctly, the alarm would sound. Basically, I had to disable the alarm, go through the garage door and close it fully, press the button to open the garage, go back inside and press another button tot turn the alarm back on, and go out the garage door while it’s beeping and fully close the door again to stop the beeping. He told me these directions and I followed them, and the beeping continue to happen even after I closed the door. i texted him that I was walking out the garage but there was still beeping, he told me it was okay, but then the alarm went off. I think he thought that I didn’t close the garage door yet, which is why he thought it was okay? But apparently I didn’t wait for him to fully give him instructions (which I was genuinely confused about bc even looking back at the texts now he did), and he got extremely frustrated with me, telling me that because I didn’t properly follow directions, it was now going to call his parents. He kept saying that it was whatever, and that he’d just take an uber, but I apologized profusely and kept telling him that I’d do it right. He texted his mom, and apparently he told me to press the wrong button, and that i need to press a different one instead after going back in through the garage door. In the moment, he kept saying that the other button was still right and always works for him, but later he admitted that he was probably wrong about it. * The second thing that happened isn’t really a big deal, but i’ll still include it. My boyfriend also has anxiety, and is a very big backseat driver. However, backseat driving makes me extremely paranoid and be a worse driver, so it’s just a never ending cycle. I would be following the directions on the GPS, and he would keep telling me the directions as if I can’t see them myself. For example, if i’m about to turn right, he’d would keep repeating “turn right over here” a bunch of times, each one more with more urgency, as if it isn’t what I was already doing. He will pick apart everything I do, and tell me not to talk too much or turn the music up too loud because it would distract me. Again, to be fair, because of my ADHD, I do get distracted easily, even on the road, but it’s usually pretty manageable, and I’m able to talk on the phone/listen to music when driving when I’m by myself. The problem is with him, I get paranoid over what i’m doing, so I get distracted, and I guess that makes it seem like the music/talking is what’s distracting me. Again, when he backseat drives, he also gets extremely agitated/quiet, and he basically continued on like that for the next few hours. * Lastly, when we got home, he was irritated over everything I did. I did leave a bit later than I told him I would because of the things I was preparing (i think i left at 3:15 instead of 3), but I told him beforehand, and he told me to take my time and come anytime I wanted to since I was going out of my way to drive him(be told me this right when I offered to drive him and after I told him i’d be a bit late). When we got home, I told him about what i made and that I cleaned his room, but he got upset because I made the pizza sauce/cookies because he wanted us to do it together. I told him that I would’ve loved to make them together, but just wanted to surprise him because he told me he had a lot of work to do and told me he was craving cookies earlier. He said that he didn’t have as much work anymore, and told me that he thought I knew that because he told me the assignments he need to do (i did know that most of the deadlines were for that day and the day before, but he told me he had some deadlines for a few days after and had told me his whole week was busy, but I guess to him I should’ve know that most of his pressing work would’ve been done that day). He was upset with me again for another few hours, and I tried to tell him there were things we could still do together like assemble the pizza, make something the next day, etc, but he wasn’t having it. Eventually a few hours later he got over it and told me he appreciated that I made him those things, and he was disappointed that we couldn’t do it together, and then mentioned that he was grateful that I cleaned up for him (he didn’t mention it before). 

Several other things happened, but I think that’s enough to somewhat get the picture. The biggest thing that happened though was just a couple of weeks ago. We hadn’t seen each other in maybe 2-3 weeks, and so I was really excited to get to see him. He had an exam that day, so I offered to drive him, and he again said that he didn’t want to worry about making food. The day before he told me he was craving pizza, so yet again I said i’d make it before i came over (starting to think pizza and me driving is cursed). I asked him before if it was okay that I made him pizza, and he said yes, and so we agreed that I would get to his house around 2 (it was maybe 10 am at the time). I bought supplies and started making the pizza. after a while though, I guess he changed his mind about me making the pizza because it took a while. Around 1, I could tell he was getting annoyed. He kept saying that the pizza wasn’t important enough bc i could’ve been at his house already. I finished making the pizza and got to his house pretty early, maybe 5-10 minutes before 2. After that, I was still waiting in the car for another 30 minutes because he was still getting ready, and he got to my car around 2:30. He was still very upset and annoyed with me and gave me the silent treatment. I tried to keep the mood light, but again, he just didn’t say anything. When we were driving, I asked him if he wanted to play music, and what song I should play, but just… complete silence, not even a nod or head shake or anything. For the entire ride he was just on his phone, texting a few friends, and I started to silently cry because I felt so unappreciated. When we got to his campus, he went to a reserved room, but I had to stay in the car because i have a tutoring job that’s online, and had a session at the same time we parked. The person I was supposed to tutor wasn’t there for the session, which was lucky for me because right when my boyfriend left, I started sobbing. When I got out of the car I was still crying as I was walking across the street, and decided to call my friend to take my mind off of everything. Her girlfriend also went to the same college as my boyfriend, and I didn’t know exactly where I was supposed to go, so I called her to help me find where I needed to go. Since we were calling, I didn’t see some texts my boyfriend sent me, but I finally found the room. I was a bit cheered up from my friend but still sad, but wanted to act happy and normal in case he was just randomly in a bad mood and just needed a distraction. When I came in, I was happy to see him and made some jokes, but all he said was “why didn’t you text me” in the most monotone, upset voice. I told him that I was sorry and forgot, would do better next time, and was going to explain that I was on the phone so i didn’t see his texts, but he interrupted me and said something like “i don’t care about you telling me you’re going to do better, just actually do it” in the meanest, irritated tone. It doesn’t seem like a big deal at all, but he has never retorted at me like that before, especially in the way he did. That was my final straw, and I just completely broke down and started crying. He kept asking me to talk to him and tell me what I was thinking, which only made it worse because it was pretty clear as to why I was crying. He comforted me, apologized, and then had to leave for his exam. For the next 4 hours he was in his exam, I was just crying nonstop. When he came back, I was still crying, and he kept apologizing and asked if I was going to break up with him. I told him I wasn’t, and then told him that this happened so often and I felt like no matter what I did, there was something I was doing wrong, and that I felt unloveable. He again apologized a lot and told me he loved me, and later told me that he really wanted to change his medication and get therapy.
A few days later, a similar thing happened, but not to that extent. My boyfriend just got his license and offered to pick me up from one of my exams. I told him I wasn’t sure how long the exam would be, and didn’t want to let him know yet because it could’ve taken very long. I was right- it was supposed to be from 12-3, but I ended up starting later end ending around 6:30. I texted him after I finished, but he told me he wished I would’ve let him know earlier because he wasn’t comfortable driving in the dark yet, which is reasonable. He became very quiet and upset again though, and again, anytime I made conversation, he would shut it down and be really upset. I also told him that I had to move out of my dorm, and so he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to because it would’ve been a lot of things to haul out. He said that it was okay and that he wanted to see me, and so he came over. When he did, he got upset again because we fooled around for an hour or two instead packing everything up (which he initiated), and then as we started pskcking, he became mean and frustrated again. He kept saying that he just didn’t expect to be moving me out, and that he just wanted to pick me up and go home, even though so told him before that that’s what was going to happen. After everything was packed up and we were in the car, he was still silent and upset but a bit less so. I felt really bad and became quiet, and he told me and i quote: “i’m feeling really anxious to drive this car at night, so can you just act normal”, which felt weird for him to say because I was only acting like that because of he as acting mean. I wanted to get home though because it was pretty late, so I just played some music and acted like my normal self, and that made me feel a bit better. When we got home, he apologized again, and thanked me for being patient with him, and that he’d be getting help soon.
After that, he did become a lot nicer to me. There were things I’ve said which I was sure he was going to get upset over, but he just didn’t at all. Usually, even after he’d apologize other times, he would still get a bit upset with me, but it’d only last a few minutes before he became normal again. This time, he wasn’t upset at all even for the things he’d most commonly get upset about (like me not hearing what he said for example). Hes been this way for around 2 weeks, and had not been getting upset at all, and he said he’s getting therapy soon.
The problem now is, especially because of the last two incidents, I still feel extremely anxious and paranoid when I’m with him. I am constantly on edge because I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing when I’m with him, and it’ll be just like how it has been for the past almost one year.
Looking back at what i just wrote, these instances don’t really seem like that big of a deal, especially compared to how some other people are treated on this subreddit. I think what makes me upset is just how often it happens and how it completely messes up our entire day because he’s just upset the entire time. In the past 3-4 months, I don’t think we’ve ever had a call/hangout where he upset for at least 1-2 hours. I think another thing that really hurts me is that he just acts completely different around me vs anyone else. A lot of the times when I call him, he will get so upset and annoyed so quickly for menial things. He plays games for hours a day, so sometimes when we’re facetime and he wants to play with some friends, he’ll set his camera up so I can watch him play while i do other things, kind of like a youtube video. Whenever we’re on call and he’s upset, and then tells me he wants to play and sets his camera up, his mood instantly changes. His face literally brightens up, and he seems so much happier and talkative. I will sometimes hear his friends on the other end, and they will say/do the exact same things that he gets annoyed at me with, and it just is not a big deal at all, he doesn’t even seem to notice that it happened. Same with my friends- One day, we were planning a trip to the beach, and were supposed to leave around 12 PM. When he came home, he became upset and quiet with me again, and I kept asking him what was wrong and if we’re still going on our trip, but he just ignored me. Finally, at around 6 PM, he was normal again, and then took another hour and a half to get ready, so we ended up leaving at 7:30 PM. My friend was texting me at the same time, so I told my boyfriend to talk to her while I was driving. As we were driving (we were around 15 minutes away at this point), I realized I forgot my license. I asked him if I should turn around, he kept telling me he wasn’t sure, and he was just very upset and annoyed with me, even though judt before we left a whole 7 hours later because he was upset. We drove for an hour before he decided that I should drive back, and I kept apologizing for forgetting my license, and that we could try again tomorrow morning. His mom told us we could go to dinner or something to make up for the day, and I asked him if he wanted to do that, and he just said “why would we do that what would we even eat” in a harsh tone. Again, I tried to keep it light, telling him that I was sorry and we could start fresh tomorrow, and he said that he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore in an upset tone. Again, for half of the night after we came home, he was upset and irritated with me. Later that night, I looked back at. the texts between my friend and boyfriend, and I was in shock with just how different he was acting with me in real life vs how he was acting with her. As he was upset with me, he was texting her with updates, making jokes, and basically just making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal at all that I didn’t have my license. In real life, he acted like I was so stupid for forgetting it, and that it was the worst thing I could’ve possibly done.
I feel like most people who read this might just think he values his independence, and that aim too clingy. I too thought that maybe I just wasn’t giving him his space, especially because I’m his first girlfriend. I will not offer to call/come over as much just to see if I’m the one asking too often and he feels too bad to say no, but when I don’t, he will keep asking me to call him and come over, and ask why I haven’t been talking to him as much/initiates calls or hangouts. He’ll tell me to call more often and hang out with him more often as well. If we hang out, I’ll tell him that I’ll go home for the night and don’t plan on sleeping over, and he’ll keep asking me if I could sleep over or when I could sleep over, and continue to make plans.
Despite what I’ve said, my boyfriend is genuinely the most amazing guy anyone could ever meet. He’s sweet, kind, and thoughtful with genuinely everyone- his parents, my friends, his friends, his professors, everyone. He is an amazing tipper, he goes out of his way to do things for my friends, and anytime i mention the slightest thing he’ll go out of his way to do it for me. For example, in the first month we met, he noticed my backpack and headphones were completely broken, so he bought me a new ones without me saying absolutely anything to him. When I drove him places, he saw that it was difficult for me to look at my phone to follow GPS directions, so he randomly bought me a car phone holder. On my birthday, he made me a card out of the acknowledgement page of the first book we read together, crossed out the authors name, and put my name, and wrote a bunch of sweet, adorable things about me. Because of my adhd, I would constantly forget to chargemy phone/laptop or bring my chargers, and would constantly have no charge on both, so he bought me a pack with 10 of each type of charger, as well as a portable charger. I offhandedly mentioned that I get really carsick, so he bought me dramamine and those carsickness goggles. He bought pads to keep with him just in case I need some, and always carries pepto and advil around because i get headaches a lot and have lots of stomachaches. He helped me move into my dorm, and bought me so many food and supplies even when I insisted that he didn’t. Whenever we go out with my friends, he always covers everything. For my friend’s birthday, everyone was going to chip in to buy her airpods, but he told them he’d cover their part and essentially just bought them for her. He is an insanely hard worker, and I am so proud of him for everything that he’s been through, and he is also just the most fun person to be around. I love him so so much, and I know that a lot of the way he’s acted is because of his depression, and I know that that’s not really him. I visited him yesterday and we had a really good time, but the entire time I kept being really careful with what I said because I was scared of him becoming upset. I’m scared that this anxiety I feel around him will last forever. I want to wait until he has everything under control, but if he becomes the same way that he was before again, I don’t know how much of it I can take. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here- can anyone help me?

The church's earliest visitors on Sunday are a group of kind-hearted do-gooders. And Lucas is there too.
The group, including Lucas, is diligently doing last-minute preparations, carefully and skillfully tending to the food they expertly prepared yesterday. Every single person involved in the work does their part with impressive ease and earned confidence. Lucas's careful contributions, both his direct, visible work, and the boons conferred by his presence allow them to do their work with newfound ease, confidence, and remarkable luck. Lucas occasionally makes minor missteps, but those are due more to the drawbacks he is enduring than anything he actually does. And every time he makes a mistake it's so minor a few deft movements are enough for him to overcome them. All the while he is texting Hannah and is visibly excited to volunteer, even though his motives are still quite selfish.
Lucas wisely does not take a leadership role here. The diligent figure follows the lead of his more experienced peers, and his endless, untiring contributions are enough to allow the group to be ready in an hour, completing work that normally takes them two or three thanks to the various perks Lucas grants them, as well as his actual, material contributions. When the group is ready, Lucas suggests they all swap stories about what led them to volunteer here.
The five volunteers and the pastor encourage the newcomer to go first, and he deftly weaves a tale that incorporates bits and pieces of the backstory he constructed for himself at his job. He explains that he grew up as the only child of a family in a small town and that he has been volunteering in minor capacities his whole life. He tells his new friends the same fanciful lies he told his coworkers and is a bit shocked when he gets the "Storytelling" skill. After that, his companions share their own stories with him. The pastor goes first, explaining that when he took over the church not one charitable act was occurring here and in only a few short years the pastor has massively changed that. The others all share various stories about how they've needed food before, or known people who needed a meal, and so they wanted to make sure that if someone needed a meal they could get it. The stories stir Lucas's heart, and he feels a pang of sincere admiration for his new friends. That said the pragmatic figure is not someone who is so kind-hearted that he'd lose sight of his larger objectives here.
While his companions share their stories he activates "Rogue", but focuses the skill on his hands. This decision almost completely cloaks his hands, rendering them invisible just long enough for Lucas to pour healing magic into the soup. He pours all of his magical energy into the stuff, exhausting himself but that is a minor inconvenience given one of his handy toys and especially when he receives a notification alerting him that he has gained an "Overcharge" skill; the ability to empower something by putting more into it.
As soon as everyone finishes their stories there is just enough time for the group of volunteers to go and get ready for the first of the arrivals at the kitchen. When Lucas is out of view of everyone he reaches into his inventory and pulls out his nifty arcane potion and downs it. The instant that the golden liquid touches his lips his power begins to flow back into him, suffusing his very soul. Minutes later the lad is welcoming guests and visitors to the church. People excitedly greet him, stunned in two different ways by his appearance.
Firstly there is the fact that Lucas is stunning, aesthetically. No matter one's preferences, no one can honestly deny his wholesome movie star looks, and no one tries to. But here, in the soup kitchen, that's the less important part of his appeal. The more important aspect of his appearance is his newness. Many of the people who appear early are people who come to the church regularly, and they recognize everyone there but him. This gives the young volunteer a chance to make several new admirers, and he navigates these social interactions with aplomb. The figure, at this point, doesn't even rely on his perks, having grown accustomed to his new life and reality.
As the figure encourages the visitors to come and grab food he is extremely pleased when he feels time freeze the first time someone tastes the food he made. This is due to the fact that he is making progress towards his quest to become a "White Mage" the formal name given to the "Healer" class he received a quest to become earlier this week, The quest asks him to heal 100 people, and this marks one of the first times he has made progress towards it. The figure smiles internally as he deactivates the notification that froze time and continues the important work he's been assigned; welcoming guests and working to log in the information they're willing to give about themselves. To achieve this task the eager go-getter has a clipboard and is stationed near the entrance to the part of the church that houses the kitchen where the chefs made the food. Every time someone new eats the food he spelled to be restorative the figure has to deal with paused time, but only the first time someone lifts some of the ensorcelled food to their lips, and each time his excitement at the prospect of obtaining a new class grows more intense.
For the first hour only long-term, regular members of the church's congregation, and their hungry friends, come to the kitchen. The pastor is one of the figures serving them food, while Lucas continues the important work he was asked to do. During this time 22 people make their way through the kitchen, greeting Lucas with excited smiles and happily volunteering the same information they've volunteered before to other individuals tasked with doing Lucas's current work. The young jumper listens to distant conversations even as he writes down the information of various individuals. He smiles internally whenever he overhears someone saying that the food tastes different somehow, better than it has before. Such individuals also sometimes notice how immediately the pain they're in lessens, their old aches and pains fading and in some cases disappearing altogether. They don't know about the magic that is repairing their bodies, the sacred energies that course into them with every faint bite or spoonful of food they eat. Also during this time the chef gains more experience
Lucas doesn't consciously know this but his decision to pour all of his magic into the food has supercharged it. If not for his decision to infuse the food with healing magic again time, coupled with the diffuse nature of the soup would have weakened the healing properties of the magic, but Lucas's choice to suffuse the food with as much magic as he could in short order before the hungry congregants and community members began to arrive has sanctified the food and empowered it's naturally restorative and fortifying properties almost making it something like a potion of sorts.
More people begin to arrive during the second hour of the meal serving period. Some of these people are brand new, and of them a handful gawk at Lucas. These individuals, include homeless youth. teen parents, and college students can't resist the urge to take in the cool glass of water on a hot day that is the charming volunteer. His ability to feign kindness and his almost but not quite eerie sense of their emotional states is enough to allow them to develop crushes, platonic or otherwise, on the figure. And in the space of the hour 40 such individuals come through and eat more of Lucas's cooking, enough to allow him to level up his chef class one more time. He eagerly takes a new class ability, one that allows him to grant food he cooks very minor buffs, though he finds that it's not retroactive.
During this time the pastor gives a very brief address to the crowd of gathered individuals, and introduces Lucas to everyone though Lucas has already been social enough and diligent enough to do that himself. Lucas eagerly thanks everyone for joining them today, and during this time he experiences a very subtle glitch where he says a word but no one notices it. The young adventurer simply ignores the glitch, but not before noting that it's the first one he's experienced in a public situation.
During the last forty five minutes of the meal more people come through, and this group is the oddest and the largest. These folks are the irregulars; people who occasionally need the meals the kitchen provides but who don't love prospect of coming to the kitchen. This group numbers a total 45 of individuals, and by the time they eat the effects of the food are less miraculous, but still solidly strong. At the same time when the next to last person to eat grabs a spoonful of soup and lifts it to her lips she is unknowingly responsible for time freezing and Lucas gaining a new class, The excited hero immediately changes classes and gains a boost to his intelligence and charisma as a result of it as well as just enough experience to boost the power of "Support", making this the first time that a perk of his has been directly strengthened to a quantifiable extent.
"Support" is the most subtle of Lucas's perks other than "The Devil's Own Luck". This perk makes him a more effective leader and teammate, and boosts the efforts of his c;lose-by allies by the equivalent of a "+2", until just now, modifier in TTRPG terms and weakens the efforts of his c;lose-by enemies by "-2", or now "-3". In layman's terms all of the efforts of his allies by a tiny but noticeable margin and weakens the efforts of his enemies by an equal amount. The perk also allows for buffs or debuffs to affect all allies or enemies in close proximity to each other, but Lucas has not had many chances to buff allies or fight enemies. One effect this perk has had is that it allows his friends to cook food that is more delicious, more filling, and healthier than their past efforts. Another effect of it is that it has helped those who eat said food to ingest it more easily and thus allows them to eat it without fears of stomach pains. New spells also appear in the hero's mental grimoire, ones that offer minor buffs or debuffs to friends and enemies, targeting their attributes, but none that consider Lucas a viable target.
The hero delights in his new class and is excited to have the chance to grow as a healer and support provider but the day isn't done. When the last of the crowd leaves Lucas and the rest of his friends stay behind to clean up. Lucas is eager to put his newly enhanced perk to the test, and during these efforts Lucas gains the "Cleaner" class, a class whose initial benefits to him include a boost to his senses and to his skill with anything intended to be used to clean something. During the cleaning, Lucas does not quite gain enough experience to level up, but he knows that he will in time.
Eventually Lucas bids his new friends farewell and makes his way to the gym. He works out somewhat intensely during this time, gaining a series of new skills in the form of swimming and boxing, thanks to his time engaging in a decently stimulating jaunt around the lap pool, followed by his participation in a class that revolves around self-defense. Thanks to "Master of All" and his decision to swap classes to "Fighter" he manages to level up both his "Mage" and his "Fighter" class, opting to give himself a boost to his endurance as a class skill for "Fighter", and a boost to the rate at which he regenerates arcane energy as his class skill for "Mage". It is during this time that Lucas figures out that for his classes to level up he needs to gain class-based experience, but this is the first time that he has seen that he can level a class up without having the class equipped, there just seems to be some relative debuff to the experience gained by the classes he doesn't have equipped. This insight boosts his intelligence, the realization itself serving as a sort of training of the attribute.
By the time Lucas returns to his apartment he is immensely satisfied with the day he has had. The moon is visible in the night's sky when he steps into his apartment he is ready to spend the rest of the day honing his skills and gaining valuable experience. He immediately starts this off by using some of his magic to mess with some of his possessions, positioning and repositioning them as he pleases with telekinesis. For the first time the figure shuts his eyes and practices his telekinesis by feeling alone, an exercise which results in the acquisition of a strange new skill: Extrasensory Perception, or ESP. The figure excitedly practices this skill, even as he levels up his "Spatial Magic" skill and gains an expensive new spell: "Minor Teleport". This particular spell lets him teleport objects he can see and hit with a small magical ray, causing light, small objects he hits to appear in his hand. The mage's skills with this are enough to allow him to hit a kitchen knife with it and teleport it to him without any issues. Lucas's mind fills with possibilities as he takes in the wicked potential of this spell. Still, the spell costs enough that he can only cast it once or twice without waiting for his pool of arcane energy to recover which limits it's usefulness somewhat but that's only a short term problem.
Monday rolls around and when it does Lucas is delighted to find that he is familiar enough with his surroundings that he settles into a routine. The jumper almost immediately throws himself into his work the minute he arrives at the office and he quickly grinds the day away. The only notable event is his realization that Amy is developing a crush on him, something he notices during lunch when he is eating with her and their small cadre of colleagues, when she eagerly asks him about volunteering. On Monday afternoon the lad goes to the gym and works out, taking another dancing class and leveling up the class partway through the workout. He gains a class skill which allows him to more easily persuade anyone who sees him perform a few dances, which he realizes probably won't be very useful in this jump but might mean something later on in his "Chain" as his employer called it several days ago.
The figure spends part of the night leveling his rogue class and gaining skills associated with it thanks in part to his "Rogue" perk and his new spells. He sticks to public places, and stays out just long enough for some shopping outlets and malls to close. He limits his targets to small objects like keys and wallets with his magic, and occasionally targets people with debuffs. He also levels "Observe" enough that he can learn the moods of living things just by using the skill, When his rogue class levels up he snags a new skill which boosts the effectiveness of his actions when he is unseen by the people he is targeting. He also snags a title: "Arcane Sneak", which boosts his magical regeneration when he is unnoticed by people or in the immediate aftermath of him using magic to take something that belongs to someone else.
The next month and a half passes in a blur, and Lucas develops a decently strict schedule he sticks to. On Mondays he trains a specific class, not necessarily rogue but definitely something. On Tuesdays he works out, including taking Zumba, a boxing class, and swimming. On Wednesdays he does meal prep and stays at home honing minor stuff. On Thursday he does some sort of volunteering, and on Fridays he actually relaxes and does something like writing or website design. The weekends are filled with volunteering and city exploration.
During this time his classes, other than chef, dancer, and mage, are slow to level up. He actively practices magic, he is a regular chef, and he turns a passive admiration he once had for dancers into something he is surprisingly passionate about. He also begins to volunteer at the hospital he visited, spending a few hours every Saturday in a small room in the back of the hospital looking through paperwork and doing stuff he didn't anticipate a hospital volunteer doing. Still, he quickly racks up trust and admiration from the few hospital staff members who know of him, thanks to his ability to just not complain, coupled with his stunning effectiveness at what he does.
As he begins to approach the two month mark he is a level 10 chef, level 12 dancer, and a level 6 mage, and a level 3 fighter, rogue, and white mage, as well as a level 4 cleaner. It turns out that each class levels a bit differently, which has inadvertently skewed his leveling but he's become an advanced enough chef that his food can be actively beneficial or detrimental and that there is now a 5% reduction in how long it takes him to cook something. He can also now gain modifiers to his interactions with people who've eaten several dishes he's made, provided they enjoyed them. His dancing is similarly useful, and he is a much better mage now than he once was. The figure can also cast spells and use an ability that prevents something from getting dirty, or magically cleanse objects. Despite all of this he remains a level 1 human, having not gained any experience that would level him as a member of his species; it seems that for him to gain such experience he needs to engage in combat and even when he's sparred with people he doesn't fight them to unconsciousness.
He leaves his apartment on the last Monday in October with a smile on his face, ready to begin a new work week.

Hello fellow community,
First, I am sorry if the post is difficult to read but English is not my mother tongue and even in my mother tongue I got issues expressing longer thoughts.
When I (27m) was a child I was able to plan ahead for complicated issues and solve them easily through a chain of logical thoughts and steps. Everything worked fine for me as a child and I was even considered gifted for some people.
Forwarding to now, I can't even solve the easiest things if nobody walks it with me through. When I try it myself and open up a chain of thoughts to lay out my next steps, I feel like a stumble upon my next thought and the chain breaks right at the beginning, rendering me cognitively paralysed.
I had the luck to always find people to box me through exams and assignments when I was studying at university but now I started working at a quite prestigious company and now I face issues as they see potential in me but I still haven't realised it after a year and they start to question my willingness now.
Maybe it is brainrot or maybe it is a late aide effect of my traumas taunting with my brain but seriously I am lost and I would like to walk through my thoughts without stumbling.
Has anybody of you experienced something similar and maybe even got out of it?
Thank you for your help.

Hello fellow redditor, since you opened my post I can assume you're mildly intrigued by my post or perhaps your phone fell on your face and you accidentally landed here.
I am aware that seeking something such as a committed relationship on reddit is bizarre, however I am pretty sure I am not the only one who's still reeling from the effects of the pandemics on our social lives.I feel meeting through the written word at least is slightly less superficial than the commodifying nature of dating apps.
I'm currently at the edge of the tunnel that is university. I enjoy usual introvert hobbies such as reading and exploring movies but I also love concerts, museums and the outdoors(mainly the beach).
I'm hoping to connect with someone in their late 20s or early 30s who's got their life at least semi figured out and is emotionally available. Living around the UTC+1 timezone would be handy to keep our schedules in sync. I prefer voice calls as they add a touch of spontaneity and authenticity that you don't get via text but we could start with text. looking forward to hearing from you!

So I(20F) have only been with 2 girls sexually and it was more in my early high school years. It was kind of just a one and done thing. I’ve never actually considered talking/dating a girl. So my cousin’s friend has been hanging out with us more and more and we have been flirting a lot. She is a lesbian and has never been with a man. I started sharing my location with her and everything. The only time I see her is when we’re around our friend group but we always end up being together the whole night. I cut off all the men I used to talk to because I kind of feel disgusted texting them because I like her so much. The first time we hung out outside of our friend group I was so nervous and could barely look her in the eye, I literally get butterflies and our conversations are always super personal. She’s very romantic and I’m more nonchalant. How can I show her that I actually really like her and want to move things forward?

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

A bit of a backstory… We’ve been dating for about 3 years. Within the first few months I started to notice she’s constantly texting, snap chatting and instagram DMing with this guy who she told me is just a friend. Later on it comes up that she has a sexual history with this guy, which ended not too long before our relationship. I told her that makes me a bit uncomfortable that she is in such constant communication with him and was not honest about their history with me to start.
Fast forward a bit later… I find I that a good amount of their DMs are sexual in nature - mainly the guy sending sexual memes and both discussing them, discussing their sexual history. Nothing about them or her cheating on me that I saw - but these are red flags for me and this is where the boundaries come in. I told her as long as there are no more sexual messages and they are not meeting up in person - then I am fine with the situation. Those are my boundaries.
Now a couple months down the road, I find out these sexual texts are still going on, despite her promise to stop. She apologizes and we set the boundary again… now by this point I have warranted trust issues. I start to ask her to see her texts just so I can have piece of mind and build back trust - but she is extremely guarded and says I’m being controlling by asking to see her text with this specific guy.
Not long after this, I find not only are the sexual messages STILL being sent, but she is talking about meeting up with him for drinks. This cycle of her promising, only for me to later find out my boundaries are still being broken has continued and happened about 6 times in total during our 3 year relationship.
The current situation is we set these boundaries one last time - no hanging out with and no sexual texts, and that she be open to letting me see their convos when I ask, for pieces of mine and to build back trust. We just got in a fight because I we were hanging out and I asked to see a Snapchat that he just sent her, she got really defensive… claiming that I just have a personal issue with this guy and I’m too controlling for wanting to see these convos. That it’s “not fair” for me to ask this.
I’m just curious other people’s thoughts here - am I too “controlling” for these boundaries considering everything that has happened? Would anyone else be okay with their partner sending chats like this to someone they have a history with and talking about meeting up for drinks? In her texts, she even asked to meet up and discuss issues that we’re with our own sex lives. I have no issues with my partner talking to other men - but these things are all red flags to me.

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Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

I (16 f) had a girls night at my house recently. I invited my whole friend group which all up was around 15 people. I had planned snacks, movies, dinner etc. I paid for the expenses and the cost turned out to be around $200. I was fine with it and knew I was going to have to pay some fee to have a good time with my friends.
I should also mention since the girls night was big and involved alot of people, my parents said I could host it however I wouldn’t have a birthday party later that year as they tend to struggle when accomodating people, feeling like they can’t let anything bad or anyone get hurt otherwise it’s their fault. I understand and honestly fair enough.
Anyways I had all of these things planned and fast forward to the night I had spent ages decorating, tidying, setting up and making everything look nice. Everyone showed up and at the start it was really fun. We played twister and talked about school and whatever. We eventually headed into the lounge room and started talking.
One of the girls in my group (let’s call her Marissa) has always had an issue with me. We have had arguments and disagreements before with me always ending up having to be the bigger person. One time she was talking shit about me behind my back and then when I confronted her she said that it wasn’t her fault and we just weren’t similar enough. I even ended up apologising for prying. To say the least we haven’t always been on good terms yet we finally were normal and I didn’t want to not invite her because ik that would cause a stir in the group.
We were all talking and she asks me which of my friends that are guys, don’t like her. I said I wasn’t comfortable saying that, that I thought she would go and contact them afterwards and also the wool group was there and no one needed to know nor did she have a reason. She kept begging me and calling me a gate keeping bitch so I reluctantly agreed to tell her privately in another room and if she promised to not go to them or anyone else afterwards.
She agreed and I told her. I instantly regretted my actions but said nothing as we both headed back to the lounge room. Without a second of hesitation she jumped on her phone and started texting someone.
I asked her if she was texting someone who I had told her and she said no.
I checked my phone a few minutes later and 2 of my guy friends had contacted me furious that I had said what I did. I apologised profusely because I know what I did was wrong. I then revived messages from other people in my class about what I had said (not people I had said to Marissa) and it sounded like she had completely exaggerated and twisted everything around. I was so upset. I went to go back to the lounge room and act like nothing had happened when I heard her talking shit about me. In my own home.
I stayed in my bedroom for most the night with a few girls staying with me unsure of what had happened.
School started two weeks later and Marisa was acting as if nothing had happened. I had tried to let the incident go over the break but when she started acting normal(except for giving me the cold shoulder) I was furious.
I contacted her that night demanding to know why she would break the promise she made to me and then proceed to talk about me. She left me on read so I kept sending her texts saying I wanted to work things out and if she was going to ignore me on text she couldn’t at school.
I showed up at school the next day to see her mom at the front office. I was concerned but tried not to think much of it. I was called to the deputy office later that day. The deputy told me that Marissa was saying I was harassing her and bullying her. Her evidence was screen shot of my texts that yes did involve swearing as I was angry but nothing violent. She showed them to her mum who apparently was asked by Marisa to take it up with the deputy .
I told the deputy my side of the story and luckily she believed me. Otherwise I would have been suspended or worse. I later found that those were her intentions.
This completely divided our group with majority of them siding with her as she told them I was bullying her but continently never showed them the messages. The news spread fast and now I have a bunch of people talking about me and rumours are spreading about what a horrible person I am. Sorry this was so long but AITA?

October last year I matched with a guy on a dating app. I’ve never really had a march quite like it, an instant connection, amazing conversation, so much in common, nice physical spark. I was excited . On dates he would hold my hand and talk about how he feels we get along so well
But he kept me at a distance, never flirted over text, messaged in a really formal way, took several days to reply. Confusing given that we connected so well on dates . He had a few problems in the bedroom where he said he was ‘thinking too much’ but I was patient. He said he felt comfortable with me. But whenever I stayed over, he always seemed to want me to leave asap in the morning, never wanted to hang around for long. He planned dates very last minute. He spaced dates apart once every 3 weeks. I got really anxious but I didn’t tell him this. I was always communicative, put effort in, and I know I put my best self forward
Then he lost his job, had visa issues (he’s from abroad) and eventually said he didn’t feel romantic and that he wanted to be friends. He said it was a him thing and nothing on me. He also said he sees himself moving back home other side of the world next year
He remains friends but still acts a bit strange. Sometimes he texts me all of the time, sending memes and recipes and other times he disappears for a while. Then he asked to see me and he took me to play golf, he was hugging me a lot , touching me subtly and telling me once again how he feels that me and him get along so well. He told me he might go back to his home country next year but he’s not sure
I went on holiday last week and during that time, he was liking every story post I put up of myself, sending me messages asking about my holiday. I then replied back to him and I said ‘how are you doing?’
He didn’t reply. It’s been a week. He continued to like my stories and posts but won’t reply back. This doesn’t make sense to me . He hasn’t even opened the message and I don’t understand and I’m worried once again what’s wrong with me
He’s moved a couple hours away for a new job and I couldn’t help but see if he has a new hinge profile. He has just gotten a dating app profile and seeing it has made me sad. His profile even says he is looking for a long term relationship 😞
I don’t get it . I’m 29 and never had a partner and me and him really clicked. Could it be he still likes me somewhat?
I’m upset tonight cause I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m an attractive woman, he used to tell me I was pretty and that he loved my company, but why would I never be good enough for a relationship. I still have feelings for him and I’m scared I’ll never lose them but also scared i won’t ever be liked by anyone
I’ve never had feelings for anyone like I did him. And I don’t get his behaviour or if it means anything
Like is it even normal to be attractive and get friendzoned.

Me ( 20F ) and my boyfriend (22M) got ready to go camping to relax and just take our minds off stress and daily routine, my stepfather (45) was alone at home as my mother is in the hospital. We didn't want to leave him alone so we took him to come along with us to relax, everything was amazing, we cooked food, sang, went swimming and then my sister ( 27) joined us with her soon to be husband. Before everything happened, I talked with my stepfather about credits and so about my dream to have camera for taking pictures also have driver licence that I was ready to get once I earn more money. My stepfather has some drinking problems, when he starts, he doesn't know when to finish, so continuously he got slightly dizzy from alcohol meanwhile nobody else drank, fast forward time, he went somewhere and came back with 400 euros first, I won't lie, it took me by surprise and I didn't knew how to act, I didn't want to take money from him as I know how hard it is to earn it, but he insisted, so I did. Fast forward more time, he gave me 200 euros more, I didn't accept those but he threw them on the ground so I picked em up from the ground. Next day, I called my mom to discuss the issue and have her opinion and telling that I wanna give the money back, she otherwise told me to keep the money ( it's a lot of money and genuinely it would help me a lot, but I was also feeling bad about it) so with some reassurance from her, I accepted it. Next thing I know my sister is texting me about it and telling me how disgusting I acted for taking them and how I'm using them for money and I want everything to put on a plate for me.( some history, she used to take money from him, get him drunk on purpose and then talk about it, in the end, she'd get money from him) I've never had a thought about using him, nor my mom, I earn my own money, I never even ask them for money. I feel like shit, because she tried moralizing to me about the incident, and her with my other sister with their so talked about this behind my back. I was planning to give money back to my mom today anyways, but am I the AH?

This situation has been going on for quite a while and I need people opinions about it. (I’m sorry for my poor English).
Me and my bestfriend have known each other for almost 5 years. He was the first person I have ever felt a real connection with in all my life and it’s thanks to him that I feel like I’m alive. We spent a lot of time together in school, playing video games and also going outside. We also got to a point in our friendship where we both opened up about our problems.
It was in this occasion that I started to feel that something was off. After some things he said about friendships in general (which I won’t talk about in this post firstly out of respect, secondly cause it would make it too long) I had the impression that he was more connected with a friend we have in common than with me.
At the moment I thought that was totally fine, but later on I realised how unfair it was. He was my brother, my priority in life, my bestfriend above all, even my family, and for him I was nothing more than a second choice. I was second place to someone who didn’t even care about him the way I did and more than that put other people above him. I didn’t talk about it with him though as I didn’t wanna be seen as the one trying to sabotage their friendship despite the fact that everything I had to say was real.
Fast forward a year and the situation is still the same. We are still bestfriends and as all young people do we start to dream about things we could do in the upcoming summer. All ideas and even promises that were broken. During summer we ended up seeing each other only 4-5 times (counting some birthdays that were celebrated in those months) despite the fact I always reached out to him and asked him to hang out, to which he always answered ‘no’ or found stupid excuses becoming dryer and dryer at every text. I ended up rotting in bed for most of the season, even though we told each other we would have done lots of things.
Later on I asked him about why he seemed to be wanting to avoid me, maybe he was having some problems in private so I asked. He said that everything was okay and that we had hang out already too much, but that he would make an effort to hang out more. Blinded by the love (platonic love) I felt for him I excused him once again. However that was a mistake. In the following months (up until December) I still tried to create occasions to see each other. To all my questions he always replied no.
At this time I started to realize that maybe he was a bad friend after all. He never asked about my day (I did), he didn’t read most of my texts, he always admitted to not care about what I was talking about (I thought he was joking but maybe he wasn’t), he was always dry, he never reached out first, he never made time for me. All things that I did to him because I loved him (platonically).
I decided once again to talk about it with him. I specified how I felt about everything, how I didn’t feel appreciated and how I was always comprehensive about the situations. At first he was angry. He replied he was sick of being seen as ‘the bad friend’. Then he calmed down and said that he was sorry I felt that way, that he would try to reach out first and make time for me and that he still considered me as his bestfriend and also loved me.
To cut it short. It’s been 5 months since that conversation and the one to still start the conversation, the one still trying to see each other, the one still putting effort into the friendship was me. All his effort went to that other ‘friend’ we have in common (who I get bad vibes from). That’s when I realised I was watering a dead plant.
So, AITA for ghosting my ‘bestfriend’?

I 27f was going to sign a lease with my friend 24f I'll refer to as x. I was looking forward to the move but x suggested living with a 3rd to make the rent cheaper. So we found a 3 bdrm apartment which would have been fine. We all put our applications in and got accepted to move and I was ready to go. I am going away for a few weeks in a few days and was going to take the weekend to pack. Last minute, our 3rd roommate backed out and it made me second guess everything. It reminded me how unstable living with roommates can be and although I trust my friend I needed to get everything situated by Monday (this happened saturday) because I am leaving to go to another country without service and I would have to move out the day after I come back.
When the 3rd roommate backed out, she introduced us to another girl I wasn't excited to live with but x tried to convince me it would be fine. The whole reason I stopped living with people was because it can feel like I'm on the hook for others decisions financially and I don't like that feeling. So this experience reminded me of how insecure it can be to live with others and the last minute change of plans. (For context my last apartment situation I lived with 3 people and 1 totally left me financially holding the bag when he couldn't pay) She was all on board with the other person the 3rd roommate got as a replacement though and texted her to have her sign the lease but before anything got signed I basically texted my friend saying I'm not on board because if everything with the 3rd roommate and the chaos of it.
I feel like my friend is mad at me rn but I am hoping she will get over it eventually because I really value her friendship and worry I ruined everything by backing out like that. Am I the asshole?

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

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FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.