In your healing journey or personal development as a whole, there's something inherently paradoxical about the journey of self-discovery. This paradox often lies in the tools and techniques utilized, which, while necessary to some extent, can simultaneously reinforce your ego or identity, thus keeping you stuck. These tools may include practices such as journaling, morning rituals, meditation, or any other 'spiritual practice' you may be engaging in.
Tools are good, but they can also keep you stuck with your identity while holding on to the tools. Tools may make your mind feel that at least you're doing something, but you're actually stuck. Tools and techniques are good, but sometimes you may need an intervention of another person who can call out your ‘bullshit’ or nudge you to see where you don't want to see or help you move beyond your own biases.
When you've been stuck in your journey, your mind will cling to anything as it seeks self-preservation, and what better way to cling or what better thing to cling to than tools or techniques that help with your healing? Tools are good, but are you just holding onto the tools without really making progress?
Are you just bragging and patting yourself on the back because you're meditating or you’ve not skipped journalling for some time? or are you just holding onto the tools because you're scared of seeing what you're without those 'beautiful distractions'?
I have been there, meditating every morning and thinking I am ‘spiritual’ while pushing everyone who is not 'doing' what I am doing away. In the guise of being a spiritual person, we may end up feeling resentful and judgmental towards your ex or to your parents for not doing whatever you think or whatever you've learned that they ought to have done?
That's how we lie to ourselves, or rather, that's the cunningness of the mind; it will do anything to look for a solution outside of itself as it tries to keep the self intact.
Imagine your mind as a maze runner, desperately searching for an exit. It's cunning, always seeking solutions outside itself to escape the labyrinth. Yet, every turn it takes only leads to dead ends or familiar pathways. The more it relies on the same strategies, the more entangled it becomes within the maze. In the same way, when we seek solutions while clinging to our existing identity, we often find ourselves trapped in repetitive patterns, unable to break free. That's where deep transformation is, not just rituals or picking fancy techniques and learning more techniques!
As a therapist, we also do fall for all those techniques; I have learned a couple of them, lol. But my last training took me to basics of like, the client or you know how to solve the problem, but you're just complicating it. The problem developed without techniques, and it will be solved by going to the same self and finding out what really happened or calling it out of the games it's playing with itself.
That's why you need breaks in your healing journey, and just do what other humans are doing, but now you are just being watchful of the deceptive nature of the mind. If you could stop everything you're doing and question or introspect on your current state without relying on psychological jargon or all those things you've read, then you'll see that you are not that ‘bad’ and you will heal. Simplify your healing journey. I know how sweet and deceptive it is to pick the latest tools, but you've learned enough.
If you've been learning for a couple of months and nothing is happening, then it simply means you can't do it alone, and you need help from someone who will guide you to see what you don't want to see and not give you other techniques. After all, a therapist provides you with the space for you to get in touch with what you don't want to see or the burdens which may seem overwhelming for you to comprehend.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

I want to preface this post by saying things we not like this. He 27m and 23f have been married for 3 yrs, together for 9. I come to Reddit to get the sanity check I so desperately need. I am writing about yesterday. We had just gotten back from a trip to Greece the day before that. He made a comment while he was driving that really bothered me. I dont remember what it was but it definitely was him being an asshole. I mustered the courage to ask him why he was being an ass to me. He had a BS excuse. He said that I don't support him emotionally for his depression. I told him that it doesn't mean he gets to treat me like that for several occasions because I know I don't deserve that regardless. From my perspective, though, I think I have supported him plenty. He's unemployed because he had a really bad depression during that time and I took on the complete financial responsibility while he worked on finishing school, and got better. It has been 6-7 months since. When he talks to me about it, I simply tell him what he tells me: schedule a therapy appointment and talk to the psychiatrist about it. Honestly sometimes I have nothing to say because it's hard to deal when I'm going through depression myself. When we were talking about this, it's when he'll broke loose. I was telling him that I felt like I was providing support. I let him sleep whenever he wants/needs during the day, play all the video games he wants even if it's hours of game time. (I generally do not disturb his routine or he will get upset.) His response was that it wasn't enough. That i always have something to complain about (e.g. undone dishes, laundry on couch, dirty floors, etc) I personally think this is something that shouldn't be optional but we were discussing it. Sidebar; I do work full time and I sometimes I don't find the time to do it. I am resentful that he has free time but doesn't do it. I tried to explain why I feel that way, and he shut me down. At this point, I let him know that I don't buy it. Him feeling "not supported by me" was still not a good reason to be an asshole to me. He then said that I always make everything about me and that he always is walking on eggshells with me because I always complain. I will admit I used to, but a few months back l just completely gave up on trying to have an adult conversation with him about anything. At this point, I am ugly crying, I don't know why he insists that he is the way he is because of me. This caused a lot of hurt. I have my own feelings about him, but I dont take them out on him, at least I dont think so. The sentiments he was expressing were so strong. I thought we hadnt just gotten back from a vacation, 1 thought we were supposed to be happy. He wasn't. He was complaining the whole time about the way I planned things. I am so angry thinking about it. Back to the plot here - I could not stop crying on our way home. He showed me no signs of emotion. Not an ounce. He watched me cry without saying a word. When we got home, he planned to leave me there to deal with it myself while he went to get his prescription refills. I took the car keys, I didn't want him to leave, so he decided to remove the car battery so I wouldn't take the car. I walked to my grandparents house crying because I couldn't deal with his presence at that point.
I came back home and hour later. Not a single word about what had just happened. He was "lovey dovey" and nothing got addressed. At this point I'm over trying to work things out. TL;DR - my husband was being an asshole, I pointed it out, he blamed me for everything, I was crying, nothing got resolved, he acts like nothing ever happened. I cant talk about this with anyone. Am I crazy? Is this really my reality? Do I need time away?

I want to preface this post by saying things we not like this. He 27m and 23f have been married for 3 yrs, together for 9. I come to Reddit to get the sanity check I so desperately need. I am writing about yesterday. We had just gotten back from a trip to Greece the day before that. He made a comment while he was driving that really bothered me. I dont remember what it was but it definitely was him being an asshole. I mustered the courage to ask him why he was being an ass to me. He had a BS excuse. He said that I don't support him emotionally for his depression. I told him that it doesn't mean he gets to treat me like that for several occasions because I know I don't deserve that regardless. From my perspective, though, I think I have supported him plenty. He's unemployed because he had a really bad depression during that time and I took on the complete financial responsibility while he worked on finishing school, and got better. It has been 6-7 months since. When he talks to me about it, I simply tell him what he tells me: schedule a therapy appointment and talk to the psychiatrist about it. Honestly sometimes I have nothing to say because it's hard to deal when I'm going through depression myself. When we were talking about this, it's when he'll broke loose. I was telling him that I felt like I was providing support. I let him sleep whenever he wants/needs during the day, play all the video games he wants even if it's hours of game time. (I generally do not disturb his routine or he will get upset.) His response was that it wasn't enough. That i always have something to complain about (e.g. undone dishes, laundry on couch, dirty floors, etc) I personally think this is something that shouldn't be optional but we were discussing it. Sidebar; I do work full time and I sometimes I don't find the time to do it. I am resentful that he has free time but doesn't do it. I tried to explain why I feel that way, and he shut me down. At this point, I let him know that I don't buy it. Him feeling "not supported by me" was still not a good reason to be an asshole to me. He then said that I always make everything about me and that he always is walking on eggshells with me because I always complain. I will admit I used to, but a few months back l just completely gave up on trying to have an adult conversation with him about anything. At this point, I am ugly crying, I don't know why he insists that he is the way he is because of me. This caused a lot of hurt. I have my own feelings about him, but I dont take them out on him, at least I dont think so. The sentiments he was expressing were so strong. I thought we hadnt just gotten back from a vacation, 1 thought we were supposed to be happy. He wasn't. He was complaining the whole time about the way I planned things. I am so angry thinking about it. Back to the plot here - I could not stop crying on our way home. He showed me no signs of emotion. Not an ounce. He watched me cry without saying a word. When we got home, he planned to leave me there to deal with it myself while he went to get his prescription refills. I took the car keys, I didn't want him to leave, so he decided to remove the car battery so I wouldn't take the car. I walked to my grandparents house crying because I couldn't deal with his presence at that point.
I came back home and hour later. Not a single word about what had just happened. He was "lovey dovey" and nothing got addressed. At this point I'm over trying to work things out. TL;DR - my husband was being an asshole, I pointed it out, he blamed me for everything, I was crying, nothing got resolved, he acts like nothing ever happened. I cant talk about this with anyone. Am I crazy? Is this really my reality? Do I need time away?

Hi there
When something is downloading (through steam mostly) and I am playing games lag on inputs would occur and sometimes it could cause games to stutter no matter the game. If steam install a game then my pc would freeze for a second or two and work fine but games are completely unplayable. Disk usage can just be 6% and it could be an issue. Which led me to believe it might be disk issues.
But then when I watch YouTube videos while playing games, processing seem to be jumping between the video and the game I am currently playing. The video would stutter and then it would play normally but then my game would lag. The game stuttering much less then the video. This was never a problem before. Opera (not GX) can't play videos at all while in game but I have found better results with Chrome. So this looks like a memory issue but if I only play games or only watch videos everything is fine. High memory usage does not useually cause issues. The steam overlay also opens dramatically slow so if I want to invite friends to my games I have to Alt + Tab and invite from the steam app.
Hopefully this is not an hardware issue and there is something I can do to solve the issue. I have had this issue with my pc for maybe more than two years and I can't tell you exactly when this happened or even recall if there was an event that happened when the issue started. I have, every now and then, taken time to try and resolve it but did not really commit to it. I know I tried to replace my mobo and have upgraded to Windows 11 in hopes of fixing the issue. There might be other things I tried in the past but can't recall what they are at the moment.
If you have any suggestions that would be great.
My specs: Windows 11 Home x64 Hikvision E100 1TB SSD - Bought in Nov 2019 - Portitioned it into two drives - C: Drive 500GB / 174 GB free (OS is installed on here) - D: Drive 500GB / 5.73 GB free (Games and apps installed on here) Hikvision E100 1TB SSD - Bought in Nov 2019 (953GB / 108GB free. Games are installed on here) Some 1TB HDD (931 GB / 103 GB free. I generally just store stuff here, little to no applications installed on here) AMD RYZEN 5 3400G PRIME B450M-K 16GB DDR4 Upgrade Kit - Bought in Nov 2019 KLEVV CRAS X RGB 32GB (16GB x 2) 3600MHz DDR4 Gaming OC - Bought in Dec 2020 ASUS ROG Strix GeForce RTX 2060 SUPER OC - Bought in Nov 2019 (Had RTX3090 installed 2022-2023, same issues happened while it was installed) Gigabyte GA-B550M-AORUS-PRO-P - Bought in - Bought in Dec Nov 2023 (Bought mobo in hopes it was the old mobo that caused the problem, it was not) CoolerMaster V1200 1200W 80+ Platinum Fully Modular Power Supply - Bought in Jan 2024
Looks like I enjoying upgrading my rig during the holidays.
EDIT: Formatting

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First of all I wanna preface by saying I am clearly in a much more fortunate position than so many in this sub, I am very grateful I can live my life fairly pain free for the most part on a day-to-day basis. That being said, costo has still impacted my life greatly over the last year and I desperately want to make a 100% full recovery.
I managed to get to 90% recovery (meaning no pain on a day-to-day basis unless I exert myself too much or do any strenuous exercise) from using the backpod, foam rolling, peanut ball, door stretches, doing the torso twisting movement that Steve August references, cat/cow yoga pose. For the last 6-8 months the main symptom remaining is my upper centre of my sternum crunching and cracking, I can literally press down on it and feel/hear the cartilage moving. Also any return to the gym and any exercise that causes heavy breathing/high heart rate flares it up and causes pain/tightness again for a few days.
Every night I use the back pod, I stretch my pecs on a door frame, I use the peanut ball/foam roller and I do the torso twisting motion regularly throughout the day. I've been able to comfortably use the backpod with no pillows + lifting my bum off the floor for months without any problem. Yet still the costo is there, even if there's no pain I know as soon as I try anything more strenuous the pain returns.
I just want to find out how on earth to get this last 10% of recovery, it feels like I can get the condition to settle down and not actively cause me pain - but somehow the structural problem isn't fully solved and that's why the pain comes back as soon as I try more exercise. I have lost over 20lbs of muscle and all of my progress I worked so hard for in the gym, this has impacted my confidence and mental health quite a bit. I've been patient for so long telling myself it'll finally get better soon but my progress has flat lined for so long that I'm losing hope of ever truly getting back to normal. Anyone that's truly got back to 100%, how? What enabled you to get that last 10% of recovery.

Making Kerbal Space Program into Homebrew Kerbal Space Program 2 with Mods: The Community Lifeboat Project
Hello everyone! This has taken me days to type, apologies for the wall of text that’s about to ensue.
With the coming demise of Intercept Games and their long-troubled and likely-shuttered development of Kerbal Space Program 2, a question I’m seeing come up more and more, and have also asked myself arises: “How do we turn KSP1 into the game that we all dreamed KSP2 would be, with mods?”. is it even possible? I believe I have an answer that will satisfy you. This IS quite achievable, for the most part. While no modlist could ever match the dream we had/have for what ksp2 would become, we can get fairly close with the tools we have presently available. KSP1 is a mature, if imperfect game with a thriving modding community. Many mods are cross-compatible and designed to work together despite independent creation pipelines, and we have a powerful modloader in the form of CKAN that makes modding the game extremely easy. And, the best part, new mods are actively being developed all the time. I'd like to help you all create an aproximation of KSP2 in regular KSP, with mods, I call this list The Community Lifeboat Project. My sincere hope is that this will sate those of you, like me, who dreamed of a KSP2 that surpassed the original in every way, and still hope that we may someday see a version of a complete KSP2 in some form or another. For now, this is the best thing I can offer the community that has given me alot, in its stead.
Who am I? A member of this great gaming community, same as you. Someone who has at the time of writing, 1800 hours in KSP1, and about 300 hours in KSP2, and about 100 hours in modded KSP1, and many more planned. I am someone who prays to the Deep Space Kraken that my rockets will fly and that we someday get a fully-released and realized version of Kerbal Space Program 2. In the meantime, this what I’m playing in lieu of our long-awaited sequel.
Who am I not? I am not techy. I am not a modding guru. I am neither a customer service line, a mod author, nor a troubleshooter. I do not have the answers to any ensuing chaos or game corruption that may ensue from playing this modlist. This modlist is just me telling you all what I am playing with personally, right now. My best effort at Homebrew KSP2, if you will. Many of these mods were added on hyperactive impulse and AFAIK work through black magic. Some may be redundant or break unexpectedly in the future but I have had no major issues to date. It mostly works as far as I can tell, minor graphical bugs aside. However, again, I am not a modder or a game developer, I know about as much about modding KSP as you do, maybe less.
This modlist has worked well, for me, to date, but if you run into issues I can’t help you. You need to do the legwork yourself to learn how CKAN works and install these mods, and to troubleshoot anything that explodes (that isn’t supposed to, many of the new engines do explode, on purpose). This is a curated recommendation list only, not a complete how-to guide. If some more experienced modders and players in the community want to review this list and comment below with improvements and revisions or point out redundancies, please do so. If someone wants to make this list into some sort of compiled modpack, go for it. Also please comment if there are mods known to be in development right now that you all think might be a good fit here whenever they get released, or just other stuff the stockalike-ksp2-in-ksp1 community should be aware of.
Who is this mod for? This modlist is for anyone in the Kerbal Space Program community who wants to make use of it, but is primarily geared towards giving veteran players new mechanics and content to play with. This modlist actively makes the game more challenging with new gameloops and mechanics to account for, it does not trivialize the base game or make it easier to learn. Quite the opposite, in fact. Finally, this is not a modpack persay. Again, if someone wants to make one be my guest. You do need to download and install each of these mods individually through CKAN, it takes roughly ten seconds per mod and is a somewhat tedious process, but the reward is worth it, at least to me.
How many mods are in this list? 142, approximately, at time of writing. About 40 of those are configs/backend/compatibility patches so about 100 actual mods, with varying levels of impact on gameplay.
How are your load times? Startup takes me about 5 minutes, loading VAB/SPH takes a bit longer than stock KSP but everything runs surprisingly well. Your own mileage may vary but I wish you the very best.
Disclaimer: Many of the mods here are relatively old and no longer under development, their most-current versions are built for prior versions of Kerbal Space Program. CKAN will warn you of this on install. Play with them anyway, everything seems to mostly-work so far as I can tell. Further, some of the mods listed here will require other framework mods like Kopernicus to make them run. Make sure to get those, CKAN will tell you when you need something supplemental for the most part, but I cannot remember every necessary sub-mod and may have missed some here. I have listed these under the “Precursors” section.
I will update this list periodically as more suitable mods come online, and am actively looking for more recommendations to add to this list. Many, if not most of these will be well-known to the habitual modders in the community but I’m trying to raise awareness for the rest of the playerbase.
My rules are that these mods must:
1) Be “stockalike” and fit the aesthetic of the base game, I am not looking for a complete game overhaul like RSS or similar.
2) This modlist is designed to be BROADLY compatible and downloadable through CKAN. I am aware there are great mods that are either incompatible with some of the ones on here, or not available on CKAN. The goal of this list is broad accessibility through our existing tools. I will also try to link user-guides for the mods that require tutorials where available, some of these are quite large and I do not understand how to use them all myself. I will answer questions where possible but I have only started using this modlist relatively recently and am not intimately familiar with all of the new gameplay.
Again, if your Kerbals are dying because life support is failing for seemingly no reason, I cannot help you and my Kerbals are likely frozen corpses drifting through space as well. I'm no mod author and have no involvement with any development for any of the mods listed below. If the descriptions here aren’t enough, do some research, there’s probably more/better info out there other than what’s banging around in my head/copied from CKAN.
Mods, if possible can we pin some version of this list going forward for all the people asking how to make a "Homebrew KSP2"? I don't need personal credit, just the modlist is fine by me. This post helps to answer a pretty common question we've been getting in light of recent KSP2 development news, or lack therof.
Anyway, here we go:
Objective: Mod KSP1 into what KSP should have been, principally by:
1) Adding new places to visit in the Kerbol System,
2) Add new star systems and interstellar locations to visit
3) Give the player the ships and engines, and parts to get there
4) Give new parts to build with, with a stockalike vibe
5) Add mechanics like colonization and life support to balance ship construction and general gameplay
6) Increase depth of gameplay for veteran players.
7) Give more/better “campaign” missions to fill out the base game randomized contract system with a bit more purpose.
8) “The intent is to give players a sense of pride and accomplishment”
What does this list of mods add to my game?
This feature list is not all-inclusive, but primary added features include, in no particular order:
1) -Vastly improved graphics, ground cover, and the ability to paint your ships similar to how you do in KSP2
2) -New places to visit: Both the inner and outer Kerbol System have been modified with the addition of 34 NEW bodies to visit between new planets, their moons, asteroids, planetoids, and other Trans-Neidonian Objects. These are all based on real objects in our own Solar system or observed exoplanets. An interstellar mod (Kcalbeloh) adds 7 new star systems and a black hole accessible via wormhole for your intersterstellar gameplay needs, with an additional ~40 new bodies to explore. All of the stock planets are present, plus nearly 75 new ones.
3) -Expanding and improving the Campaign with more meaningful, focused, and varied Contracts apart from the randomized ones stock KSP gives you.
4) -New Game Mechanics including but not limited to:
-New and/or improved UI elements to assist with docking and landing
- Life Support and Cryosleep mechanics
- New engines, mainly from mods by Nertea, a prolific modder and KSP2 dev, including gas-core nuclear engines, new electric engines, cryogenic engines, plasma engines, nuclear pulse propulsion, fusion drives, torch drives, and antimatter engines. New 5m and 7m engines for massive rockets are also available.
- Colonization mechanics and associated management gameplay
- New resources, distribution, and utilization gameloops through colonies
- Vast amounts of new parts to build with that we were supposed to get with KSP2 including hab rings, new ship modules, laboratories, buildings for planetary base construction, etc.
- The ability to explore your ships in first person mode as if you were a Kerbal
- New ways to move resources between ships such as flexible piping rather than docking.
-Orbital construction and construction of craft at colonies, apart from the VAB & SPH, away from Kerbin.
-Harvesting resources from the atmospheres of planets and dust/gas clouds present in outer space.
-Building Custom Service modules with both stock and modded mechanics
-Logistics Systems related to colony activities for sharing resources between nearby installations and craft.
CAVEATS: I am sure I have missed some people’s favorite mods and am open to further additions to this list under the following conditions: All of the following mods and any future additions to this list MUST be available on CKAN, they MUST work with the most current version of KSP1, they MUST be mostly-compatible with each other as well as this list, and they MUST be freely available, not paywalled. The only exception I will allow is Blackrack’s volumetric clouds because he’s our community’s darling and we love his work.
I want this mod selection to be as accessible to the community as possible while providing as much content as possible. Pick and choose anything from this list or the entire thing to use yourself. I play with everything listed here, concurrently, but your performance may dictate the need to leave some of this stuff by the wayside. At a bare minimum, make sure you have the relevant “precursor” category mods so nothing else breaks. This list adds A TON of new and challenging gameplay sure to give even the most seasoned KSP veterans pause and I’m very much a beginner myself, it’s alot of new stuff to learn being thrown at you quickly. Pace yourselves lads!
Without further ado my, modlist, with a brief description of what everything does and broken down by category:
Myst’s “Community Lifeboat Project” Modlist:
Not Required, but highly reccomended:
- Blackrack’s Volumetric Clouds: This is the only paid mod on this list. I like it, other people like it, Blackrack did incredible work here for the community. Costs $5 on his Patreon, everything else on this list is free.
PRECURSORS/CONFIG STUFF TO MAKE OTHER MODS WORK: (33 mods)
- AT Utils: Common Library for a set of plugins made by Allista
- B9 Part Switch: A module which allows parts to switch objects, resources, nodes, attach points, temperature, add mass, cost, and more.
- Background Resources: REPOsoft Tech Background Resources Plugin
- Community Category Kit: Common Parts Categories for KSP mods
- Community Parts Titles: Rename parts for useful and consistent grouping/sorting in the VAB/SPH, Many mods are supported. This mod is intended for the English version of KSP.
- Community Parts Titles Extras: Categories: Highly-Recommended Extras for the Community Parts Titles. Create new categories or place parts in a more appropriate category.
- Community Parts Titles Extras: CCK- No Duplicates: See Above.
- Community Resource Pack- Common Resources for KSP mods.
- Community Terrain Texture Pack: High Quality textures for use by planet-creators, makes other stuff on this list work, probably.
- Contract Configurator: A config-file-based solution for creating new contracts. Makes added contract packs work.
- Cryo Tanks Core: Cryo Tanks standalone plugin, adds functionality to other mods, contains no parts and does nothing by itself.
- Custom Asteroids (Alternative OPM config): Replaces default Outer Planets Mod asteroid config and makes it work with Custom Asteroids mod further down this list.
- Custom Barn Kit: Small Plugin to change parameters related to career, science, and building upgrades when various features are unlocked.
- Custom Prelaunch Checks: C# API to write prelaunch checks that run when the VAB/SPH launch button is pressed. Makes other stuff work.
- Deployable Engines Plugin (Nertea Mod): Plugin to manage extending and retracting engine nozzles.
- DMModule Science Animate Generic: Replacement for Module Science Experiment and ModuleAnimateGeneric.
- Firespitter Core: Core Firespitter .dll. Makes something else work, don’t remember what.
- Global Construction Core: dependency for the Global Construction Mod
- Harmony 2: Library for patching, replacing, and decorating.NET and Mono methods during runtime (I have no idea what this does, other mods probably use it as a dependency)
- Kerbal Actuators: A plugin used to create VTOL engines and robotic parts. Makes other stuff work.
- Kopernicus Planetary System Modifier: REQUIRED for all other planet packs on this list
- Kopernicus Expansion Continue-er: Kopernicus Dev Tools and Footprints.
- Modular Flight Integrator: Modularly Integrates flight models or something idk.
- Module Manager: Modify KSP config files without conflict (ESSENTIAL).
- Rasterprop Monitor Core: plugin and props for IVA use.
- Shabby: Shader Asset bundle Loader for KSP
- Textures Unlimited: KSP Shader, texture and modeling utilities. Makes other stuff work.
- Toolbar: API for Third-party Plugins to provide toolbar buttons
Sub-mod: Toolbar Controller: Wrapper mod for Blizzy and stock toolbars.
- USI Tools: Libraries to make the USI mods work correctly. NEEDED.
- Vertex Mitchell/Netrevali Filtered Heightmap: Makes some of the other graphical stuff work correctly relating to planetary textures. Idk.
- Waterfall Core: Core Waterfall Plugin to drive upgraded fancy engine effects.
GRAPHICAL AND AUDIO IMPROVEMENTS (25 mods)
- Chatterer: Configurable audio that allows you to hear your Kerbals communicating over the radio with Mission Control, breathing on EVA, etc. I like this mod because I find it more immersive and you can tune the audio in the sidebar if certain sounds are too loud/quiet or you don’t want to hear something.
- ChattererExtended: Adds 625 new kerbalized chatter files for added variety
- Distant Object Enhancement: Lets you see other planets all the way back on Kerbin. Works with the modded planet packs on this list as well up to and including other star systems, very immersive.
- Distant Object Enhancement /L default config: default planet colors.
- Environmental Visual Enhancements Redux: Version of EVE which significantly improve performance, used as a replacement for base EVE. Adds clouds, lighting, etc.
- Parallax: PBR tessellation shader for planetary textures,
- Parallax Stock Planet Textures: adds HD textures to the stock planets, highly reccomended.
- Parallax Stock Scatter Textures: adds HD textures to planetary scatters and ground cover.
- Planetshine: light from planets and moons can now reflect up and color your spacecraft, adding realism and immersion.
- Planetshine default config: Support config.
- Restock: Community-built resleeve of stock part models and textures to make them look a bit nicer. Can be disorienting at first and isn’t quite as pretty as the KSP2 models, but its something. This mod may clash with Waterfall, I’ve had issues with offset engine plumes on some of my engines and suspect this mod is the culprit.
- Scatterer: Atmospheric Scattering Shaders
- Shaddy: Collection of Shaders for Kerbal Space Program
- Simple Repaint: Allows you to choose colors for individual ship parts out of a pre-selected list of shades. Adds some badly-needed customizability to the base game.
- Singularity: Black Hole Shaders for KSP by the one-and only Blackrack. Needed for optimal looks for Kcalbeloh.
- Spectra: EVE configs for stock celestial bodies, also grab the self-explanatory sub mods below:
- Spectra EVE 64k Kerbin Clouds
- Spectra EVE Kerbin/Laythe Snow
- Spectra EVE Minmus Geysers
- Spectra Scatterer
- Spectra Scatterer for Minmus
- Spectra Scatterer: Jool Shine on Laythe
- Spectra Scatterer Vibrant Sunsets
- Staged Animation: Plays an animation when a part is staged.
- Stock Waterfall Effects: config to give Waterfall Effects to the Stock engines.
NEW PLACES/THINGS TO VISIT: (8 mods)
- Custom Asteroids (inner stock system data)- Adds asteroids inside the orbit of Jool
- Custom Asteroids (Kuiper Belt Analog for Outer Planets Mod)- Adds “Kentaurs” and trans-Neidonian (Neptunian) objects.
- Minor Planets Expanded: The lesser-known counterpart to the Outer Planets Mod. Stock KSP has planetary analogues for our Solar planets out to Jool, and Pluto. The acclaimed Outer Planets Mod has analogues for Saturn (Sarnus), Uranus (Urloom), and Neptune (Neidon). Minor Planets Expanded adds many additional objects and lesser-known worlds to the game alongside the previous, including analogues for Eros, Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Makemake, Sedna, and more IRL transneptunian objects. This mod also includes analogues for a number of real-life asteroids and comets present in our Solar System that you may or may not have heard of before. Adds 15 new worlds to visit; they range in acessibility from Dres-level difficulty to places requiring enormous amounts of planets, fuel, and time. This mod provides great reasons to start using some of Nertea’s more-exotic engines to live out your wildest, Kerbalest, Expanse-related travel-fantasies.
- Outer Planets Mod: Celebrated Mod that adds planetary Analogues for Saturn (Sarnus), Uranus (Urlum), and Neptune (Neidon), and Pluto (Plock), as well as some of their moons. Adds roughly a dozen new places to visit. Eeloo gets shifted to become a moon of Saturn to make room for the Pluto Analogue. The wormhole to the Kcalbeloh System can also be found in Sarnus orbit. Adds 15 new bodies to land on.
Outer Planets Mod: Parallax with Scatters: Adds the HD Parallax mod ground scatters to the outer planets, dramatically improving their visuals.
- Lt Duckweed’s QuackPack: Adds a slew of new planets, both terrestrial and gas giants, to the inner Kerbol System, inside the orbit of Moho. These are generally based on real-life exoplanets and are extremely difficult to reach and land on due to their hostile environments and include extreme temperatures, lava worlds, metallic atmospheres, etc. Adds 4 new places to visit.
- Kcalbeloh System: Interstellar planetary mod that adds several new star systems, each with their own planetary systems, orbiting a supermassive black hole. The Black Hole is accessible via interstellar-level engines and careful piloting, OR alternatively via a wormhole orbiting Jool. Assuming you have the Outer Planets mod installed and working, the wormhole will be orbiting Sarnus (Saturn equivilant) instead.
- Kcalbeloh System 8k Textures: See Above. For those of us who play in UHD.
CONTRACT PACKS TO IMPROVE THE STOCK CAMPAIGN: (8 mods)
- Contract Pack: Anomaly Surveyor: Contracts that guide you through exploring the stock game’s easter eggs, UFO’s, memorials, etc.
- Contract Pack: Bases and Stations Reborn: Space-station focused contract pack, replaces the base game’s “Build a Space Station” contracts
- Contract Pack: Clever Sats: Overhaul of stock satellite contracts
- Contract Pack: Exploration Plus: Overhaul of stock “Exploration” contracts
- Contract Pack: Field Research: Do more Science! Receive contracts for performing different experiments under a variety of conditions.
- Contract Pack: Kerbal Academy: Training your Kerbalnauts the sensible way.
- Contract Pack: Research Advancement Division: More Scientific Contracts, complimentary to the Field Research pack.
- Contract Pack: Tourism Expanded: 11 new contracts to send Kerbals across the Kerbol system
- Contract Pack: Tourism Plus: Better tourism! A richer tourism experience than stock. Take tourists to space and visit the stations you have created. Build new tourist attractions like the space casino megaproject. Includes 15 new contracts.
NEW GAME MECHANICS: (25 mods)
- BetterTimeWarpContinued: Improved Time Warping
- DeepFreeze continued: adds cryosleep and the ability to freeze and thaw Kerbals for long journeys. Compatible with USI life support featured further down
-GUIDE:
- Dynamic Battery Storage (Nertea Mod): mod intended to help vessel construction by providing electricity planning functions and solve problems related to power-flow. Pairs well with his other engine and advanced poweheat mods
-GUIDE:
- Extraplanetary LaunchPads: Adds ability to build craft in flight mode, including at orbital facilities and at bases on other planets.
-GUIDE:
- FreeIVA: Lets you explore the insides of your ships as well as EVA in First-Person mode from the point of view of your kerbals. Extremely immersive and usable with several of the parts mods by Nertea featured below. Adds a new tab of IVA-compatible pieces into the SPH/VAB.
Sub-mod: -Through the Eyes of a Kerbal: See the world through a first-person viewpoint. Needed for use with Free IVA.
- Global Construction: Lets you build vessels directly on other planets and in orbit around other planets.
-GUIDE:

• HEAT CONTROL: New Categories of radiators to add to spacecraft, neccesary for some of his more advanced engine mods like Far Future technologies with big reactors and exhausts putting out monstrous amounts of heat.
  -GUIDE:
  

- Kerbal Attachment System: Adds new gameplay mechanics in the form of winches, struts, and pipes. Vessels can now be connected in EVA without docking them.
-GUIDE:
- Kerbal Inventory System: Adds new inventory system and EVA mechics and usables. This one works, but does have some odd behavior in-game with the native EVA/breaking ground stuff, I haven’t totally figured out using this one yet and have had some instances of odd item storage or kerbals not being able to grab parts they should, etc.
-GUIDE:
- Kerbal Joint Reinforcement: Fixes issues with unstable joints and wobbliness.
- Kerbal Konstructs: Adds a slew of new buildings and launch sites
-GUIDE:
Submods:
- Off-shore Launch Platform: Designed to be used with Kerbal Konstrukts, lets you launch off an oil rig.
- Omega’s Stockalike Structures: ALPHA BUILD. Statics content pack for Kerbal Konstrukts.
- Konstruction: Weldable docking ports, cranes, magnets, other construction equipment.
- KSP Community Fixes: Fixes many stock KSP bugs and provides some Quality of Life and UI improvements
- Rational Resources: Resource Placement is no longer random but reflects composition templates. Promotes Cryofuels mods and planet pack/life support compatibility.
- Space Dust: Adds atmospheric and exo-atmospheric resource harvesting. Includes a new harvesting system, displays, resource distributions, and parts.
- Space Dust Unbound: Expands Space Dust resource harvesting abilities to other modded planets and systems like the Outer Planets Mod, Galaxies Unbound (not included on this list for now), and others.
- System Heat/associated sub-mods: By Nertea: revamps the core Heat system of Kerbal Space Program, many of his engine mods require use of this new system, or at least strongly benefit from it.
Sub-Mods:
- System Heat- Nuclear Engines Config
- System Heat- Nuclear Reactor Config
- System Heat- Resource Converter Config
- System Heat-Resource Harvester Config
-GUIDE:
- USI Kolonization Systems (MKS/OKS): Interlocking modules that bring planetary colonization gameplay. Expansive mod for building both terrestrial as well as orbital colonies and associated deep gameplay GUIDE
- USI Life Support: Advanced Life Support Mod, more advanced than Kerbal Snax or whatever its called but not as unforgiving as Kerbalism, I was going for a balance between accessibility and depth of gameplay with this one, plus it links seamlessly with the USI Kolonization mechanics. Hooks in seamlessly to kolonization mechanics. GUIDE
NEW ENGINES AND OTHER PARTS: (33 mods)
- AlphaMensae’s Modular Launch Pads: Beyond Launch Clamps: Mix and match components to build all kinds of launch infrastructure.
- Cryo Tanks: (Nertea mod). Liquid Hydrogen fuel tanks and storage for most stock tank designs.
- Cryogenic Engines: (Nertea Mod). Provides new, high-efficiency engines in 1.25, 2.5, and 3.25 sizes that burn liquid hydrogen rather than normal “liquid fuel”
- Cryogenic Engines- Near Future Aeronautics- patch to convert relevant engines in near-future aeronautics to burn Liquid Hydrogen
- Far Future Technologies: (Nertea Mod) Adds theoretically possible engines we might have IRL within the next few hundred years powered by exotic forms of nuclear fusion, antimatter, torch drives, etc. Good for Outer Planets missions and interstellar stuff
-GUIDE:
- JX2Antenna: Adds a special 2.5m antenna with 1,000G transmisison power, important for hyper-range deep-space missions.
- Kerbal Atomics: Nertea Mod. Adds new anbd exciting nuclear engines to use in-game. Included in a slew of size classes and technology levels for greater access to nuclear engines at different stages of the game. Adds things like gas-core reactors, nuclear aerospike engines, multimode engines that switch or utilize both nuclear and conventional afterburning fuel.
-GUIDE:
Sub-mod- Kerbal Atomics Other Mod Support: Optional Patch to allow the KA nuclear thermal rockets to run on LH@ for additional performance.
- Kerbal Planetary Base Systems: Adds multiple parts for building better bases and colonies on planet surfaces such as Habs, Greenhouses, Laboratories, and more. This IS compatible with the life support mods featured above.
-GUIDE:
- Near-Future Aeronautics: Nertea Mod. Adds advanced aerospace parts including propellers, intakes, jet and multimode nuclear engines for massive spaceplanes.
-GUIDE:
- Near Future Construction: Nertea Mod. Structural components and truss segments for building deep space vessels and bases. These will look familiar to anyone who has played a bit of KSP2, Nertea was a prolific KSP1 modder and was hired by Intercept Games to bring his mods native functionality in KSP2.
- Near Future Electrical: Nertea Mod. Stockalike nuclear reactors, capacitors, and more batteries. Neccesary for many of his electrical engine mods.
- Near Future Electrical (Decaying RTG’s): Nertea Mod. Optional patch to make RTG output gradually decrease over time as they do in real life. This will force additional planning for long-range missions to the outer planets and interstellar locales.
- Near Future Electrical Core: Nertea Mod. Standalone sub-mod, needed to make Near Future Electrical work.
- Near Future Exploration: Nertea Mod. Expands probe selection, adds new cores, bus parts, minisatellite parts and a slew of new antennas.
- Near Future IVA Props: Nertea Mod. Prop pack to configure and acessorize IVA spaces on your ships.
- Near Future Launch Vehicles: Nertea Mod. Large launch vehicles including 5 and 7.5 meter engines for launching massive spacecraft and parts.
- Near Future Propulsion: Nertea Mod. Advanced electric engines and new fuel types, stockalike.
-GUIDE:
- Near Future Propulsion (Xenon Hall Effect Thruster): Nertea Mod. Converts NFP Argon thrusters to use stock Xenon fuel instead if desired.
- Near Future Solar: Nertea Mod. Adds new solar panels in lots of new sizes and shaped for utility and customizability.
- Near Future Solar Core: Nertea Mod. Support plugin for NFS.
- Near Future Spacecraft: Nertea Mod. New Command pods, control systems, and engines for crewed spacecraft. Some of the stuff here closely resembles some of the new pods we got in KSP2.
- Near Future Spacecraft-LFO Engines: Nertea Mod. Converts monopro orbital engines to use stock liquid fuel/oxidizer if desired.
- Project Orion Nuclear Pulse Engine: Adds a nuclear pulse engine powered by repeated nuclear device detonations, one of the many planned engines for KSP2 we may never get to see.
- Simple Adjustable Fairings: As described.
Sub-mod: Simple Adjustable Fairings-Plugin
- Stockalike Station Parts Expansion Redux: Nertea Mod. Adds tons of new station parts in a number of size classes, including some new components int he small-medium ranges.
Sub-Mod: Stockalike Station Parts Expanded Redux: Internal Spaces Nertea Mod, adds compatibility between SSER and FreeIVA so you can explore your stations from a first-person view.
- Universal Storage II Finalized: Modular Parts Mod that facilitates the building of custom service Modules, integrates well with life support mods.
- USI Asteroid Recycling Technologies: Can remove Asteroid Mass and attach storage tanks to its surface.
- USI Core: Kontainers, Reactors, and shared tools for the USI mods.
- USI Exploration Pack: Flat-packed rover and parts geared towards exploring planetary surfaces.
- USI Freight Transport Technologies: Modular Parts for hauling, mining, and space transportation needs.
META GAME AND UI STUFF: (10 mods)
- Astrogator: A space-navigational aid for Kerbal Space Program. Shows table of bodies reachable from current in-game location and the deltaV to reach them, can get perfect transfer windows and maneuver nodes for you.
- Better Burn Time: Extra automatic burn time indicators for suicide burns and target rendezvous.
- Better Early Tree: New Disposition of the beginning of the tech tree. Designed for an unmanned start and give stockalike vibe, Needs to be used alongside CTT
- Clickthrough Blocker: Helps eliminate the clickthrough problem with mods
- Community Tech Tree: Modding community-developed tech tree that reorganizes the base game tech tree and is compatible with the vast majority of mods on this list to balance the parts for the campaign. ESSENTIAL.
- Custom Asteroids: lets user control where asteroids appear.
- Docking Port Alignment Indicator: Self-Explanatory, Makes docking stuff easier.
- Hide Empty Tech Tree Nodes: Gets rid of tech tree nodes in the Community Tech Tree mods if you don’t have the mods installed, CTT is huge so this can help simplify it if you only have a few mods installed.
- ImprovedTechTree Placement: Tech Tree Mod that adds an additional engine-focused propulsion line. Grabbed on random impulse, no idea how this interacts, if at all, with other tech tree mods.
- Reviva: Dynamic Switching between multiple IVA’s in-editor and in-flight
- Speed Unit Annex: Adds speed units and some other helpful values to the Navball, depending on vessel type.
End of the List, for now.
Ad Aeternum Inanis
MOD TYPES THAT I AM ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR (please help):

• A mod or combination of mods that gets KSP2’s soundtrack into KSP1 AND TRIGGERS TRACKS IN SIMILAR WAYS (i.e. not just a playlist, but performing in-game actions causes a given track to play, like going from Kerbin orbit to the Mun’s SOI, achieving low orbit and starting descent, etc. )
  
• Some sort of part-welding or optimization mod to facilitate construction of much larger ships and stations and improve performance far past the current 250 part count beyond which stuff starts lagging and breaking.
  
• Alternative/bettemore colonization mechanics mods for proper cities and landmark facilities and such.
  
• More planet packs and places to visit, especially interstellar stuff.
  
• Interstellar mods COMPATIBLE WITH EVERYTHING ELSE ON THIS LIST SO FAR.
  

MODS THAT I AM NOT ADDING FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE (and why):

• Galaxies Unbound: Great mod, but suffered from some usability problems and has been removed from CKAN. I’ll add it back if and when it reappears.
  
• Interstellar Extended: Another great mod, but sadly not compatible with Nertea’s stuff so I’m not adding it here.
  -BlueDogDesignBureau: Way, way, WAY too many parts. Was trying to make use of this before but its craft parts were making it impossible to find other stuff I wanted. Has plenty of useful components; far too many, in fact. Also not super stockalike. Never again.
  

Other Useful Links Here:
(emptiness intensifies)
Changelog:
Gradually improving formatting, your patience is appreciated <3

Living a boundless life presents itself as a novel strategy for personal development and fulfillment in a time when age is frequently considered a decisive factor. A life that is marked by ongoing discovery, intentional alignment, and wisdom sharing transcends time. From inquisitive youth to contemplative maturity, embrace every stage of life with inquiry, flexibility, and a dedication to personal development.
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The unrelenting quest for discovery is the foundation of a boundless life. This includes mental, emotional, and spiritual investigation in addition to physical discovery. Constant exploration keeps the heart open, the mind bright, and the spirit young. It entails accepting different viewpoints, rising to new challenges, and keeping an open mind to everything that life offers. Exploration is the fuel that keeps an ageless spirit going.
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Living proactively is the key to leading an infinite existence. It entails leading a purposeful and deliberate life. Thinking expansively about what's possible is a necessary part of living an infinite life. It entails going above and beyond your comfort zone in an effort to discover new horizons that might lead to exciting new directions for your own growth and development.
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Let the boundlessness be your boundary! ~ Mehmet Murat Iran

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A Limitless Life—What Is It?

Living a life that aligns with your values and accomplishes all of your own objectives is what it means to have an endless existence. For many leading the aforementioned chaotic life, true happiness is a distant dream. Fears and limitations are frequently in the forefront of your mind and they all keep you from achieving greatness.
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Sometimes there are too many things vying for your attention in life, and it may get overwhelming. Your peace of mind may be undermined by obligations to your family, your job, your health, social pressures, etc., without your knowledge. One might quickly become disoriented by social media and other technological distractions like smartphones, making it easy to lose sight of life's purpose.
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Since most are just going through the motions, you aren’t even conscious of how your days are passing. Everyday activities like waking up, getting ready for work, chatting, browsing social media, shopping, and commuting take up your days without your conscious awareness. Every rational individual would want to take a moment to calm down and see the bigger picture in the middle of this. I believe that everyone should have times when they wish to stop, relax, and reflect on this amazing life.
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Set forth no limits. Keep in mind that your potential is boundless. ~ Sal Martinez

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Meaningful Alignment: Leading the Boundless Path

The foundation of this timeless plan is acting in a way consistent with your highest goals and values. Regular introspection and pivoting are necessary to stay committed to a growing mission. Living a purposeful and meaningful life is ensured by making deliberate decisions that are authentic. Purposeful alignment is the compass that steers the boundless voyage, making sure each choice, adjustment, and turn leads to a rewarding experience.
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To live a boundless life, you must first conquer your mindset. Of course, one's mindset is largely influenced by your beliefs about life, other people, yourself, and current situation. You’ve been conditioned to be a specific way throughout your life, either by others or yourself. These unhelpful ideas, attitudes, feelings, anxieties, and routines will prevent you from leading an infinite existence. Nothing you accomplish will ever bring you the long-term success you want until you take the time to unlearn them.
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There are two practices that can help you gain more control over your thoughts and regular impulses: mindfulness and meditation. Your ability to gain these crucial abilities, which can lead to a boundless life, will improve with practice.
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To lead an infinite existence, the second stage is to gain control over your behavior. It all comes down to choosing the appropriate course of action and doing it in the best way possible to assist you achieve your desired outcomes. Put another way, achieving your goals and objectives essentially comes down to doing the right things at the appropriate time.
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I am soaring, boundless, and free, and I know living my dreams is never a question of time, but one of purpose. ~ Leo Lourdes

Mentoring and Sharing of Wisdom: The Foundations of Boundlessness

Mutual mentoring and the exchange of wisdom among all ages are fundamental to a limitless life. Through the reciprocal sharing of information and perspectives, mutual mentorship enriches the lives of people of all ages. Age is not a barrier to this exchange; it acknowledges that wisdom can flow from young to old and from old to young with equal ease. In this setting, sharing wisdom transforms into a dynamic process of teaching and learning, wherein lessons are transmitted, experiences are exchanged, and mutual progress occurs. It promotes a culture of lifelong learning and interaction by embodying the idea that development and progress are ongoing.
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Mastery over your personal development is the third step to having an endless existence. To assist you advance in a more helpful manner, you must be like a sponge that absorbs as much as it can. You must fully dedicate yourself to lifelong learning, progress, and growth if you want to lead an endless life. A person who is living a boundless existence is constantly learning new things and developing new perspectives on the world around them, other people, and themselves.
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Living a limitless existence entails dedicating oneself to doing their best. Everything you do needs to be of the greatest caliber possible, superior to anything that anyone else could model or create. But remember that ultimately, what counts are the outcomes.
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Even today, I dare not say that I have reached a state of achievement. I'm still learning, for learning is boundless. ~ Bruce Lee

Accepting Adaptability and Change: Handling Life's Cycles

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The only thing that is constant in life is change, and living a boundless existence requires accepting this impermanence. People who have developed resilience and adaptability can handle life's changes with grace, seeing each new stage as a chance for personal development and fresh starts. This method makes sure that one is adaptable and receptive to new directions, welcoming the unknown and the opportunities that come with change.
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The ability to control your physical body is the fourth stage of leading an infinite life. You feel more alive, passionate, and driven when your bodies are robust and you are in good physical and mental health. As a result, this gives you the energy you need when you give more of yourself and continue chasing your objectives when it seems impossible by refusing to let fear stop you.
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Lastly, anxiety is the primary source of your limitations. You frequently concentrate on dangers, potential problems, and challenges to the conveniences you take for granted. Put simply, you're afraid to push outside your comfort zones and take a chance.
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But there's a distinction to be made between perceived and actual hazards associated with an undertaking. You should concentrate on estimating the risks associated with your undertakings. Once you are proficient in that assessment, you will overcome many of the constraints you may currently face and your fears will have less space to grow.
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Desire is boundless, and boundlessness frightens us. ~ Martha Roth

Creating Bridges with Common Experiences

The boundless plan places a strong emphasis on the value of forging close, meaningful connections via common experiences. A shared meal, a stroll in the morning, or a coffee break with a friend can foster deeper feelings of empathy, unity, and understanding that go beyond the simple enjoyment of food, drink, or exercise. These communal meals, breaks, and experiences serve as forums for conversation, reciprocal mentoring, and the fortification of ties between people of different ages.
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Mastery over your power over others is the fifth step to having an endless existence. Although gaining this kind of influence isn't simple or quick, it is something you may focus on improving.
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Having effective communication skills is one key to persuasion and influence. You can connect with others, negotiate, and sell yourself and your ideas more effectively if you have strong communication skills. Outstanding storytellers are also excellent communicators. They persuade others to support their cause by using metaphors and stories to convey their points of view.
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Naturally, it takes years of experience and a profound comprehension of human nature and life patterns to read people. Everyone can, however, acquire better communication skills with a little work, perseverance, and practice.
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The more boundless your vision, the more real you are. ~ Deepak Chopra

How then does one lead an endless life?

Imagine leading a life that is shaped by your genuine values and purposeful objectives in every way—thought, action, and living. Happiness, which is the true aim of human life, can only be attained in that manner. You will recognize the true purpose of your existence and act accordingly once you break free from the limitations you set on yourself.
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If we are to truly strive for an endless existence, there are a few timeless truths that every one of us needs to know. While some of these realities may appear or sound frightening, they are only meant to serve as stepping stones for you to maximize your "one" existence. Let's examine these facts.
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Self is a sea, boundless and measureless. ~ Kahlil Gibran

1. Believe me; this life has an expiration date.

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The first fact, which I hate to tell you, is that you have little time left on this wonderful earth. The most terrifying part is that nobody is aware of the expiration date. It may happen now, tomorrow, or in the not too distant future.
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Why is this truth significant? This has the potential to be a very freeing force for you once you comprehend it. Since you do not know how long this amazing existence will last, wouldn't it be wiser to seize the opportunity while it still presents itself? Accept this reality and this lovely life, then observe the results for yourself.
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Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the world and the immense boundless treasures that it holds. ~ Edward Carpenter

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2. Your bank account balance isn't "really" important.

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The goal of most people on the planet is to increase their income. Although it’s wise to safeguard your financial position, there is a timeless fact that says having money does not ensure happiness or a boundless life. Never prioritize your financial success over your well-being, intimate relationships, or health. It's not worthwhile.
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The worst thing about wealth or money is that it can disappear at any time. Everyone has heard tales of wealthy individuals failing miserably in their later years or losing everything they had because of illness or a downturn in the economy. Thus, internalize this knowledge to create a boundless life.
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If your past is limited, your future is boundless. ~ Franklin Pierce

3. Your health is your most valuable asset.

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Everybody has a list of goals for their lives, such as writing a book, getting a new career, getting married to someone they adore, etc. However, you have a tendency to overlook the most crucial aspect of your life—your health—amid all these objectives. Your health should be your first priority in life.
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Why? Because being healthy enables you to fully appreciate the beauty that this life has given upon you, including the relationships, objects, destinations, and everything in between. You can very much count on all other aspects of your life to be in good shape if your physical, emotional, and mental health is good.
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Three things have a limited threshold: Time, pain, and death.
While truth, love, and knowledge–are boundless. ~ Suzy Kassem

4. The opinions of most people regarding you are very irrelevant.

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Before doing any action, one thing that worries you is what other people might think. It could be members of your community, acquaintances, coworkers, family, or even complete strangers. This one characteristic of humanity is the largest obstacle preventing anyone from reaching their life's ambitions.
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The opinions of others are completely irrelevant. Even well-known figures like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, and Mother Theresa encountered their fair share of detractors. You will ultimately find yourself sad in this wonderful life if you make it your mission to impress other people. Thus, take any necessary action to accomplish your objectives. Therefore, quit comparing yourself with others, or trying to be anything than your authentic self.
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You must be free of any expectations, you must be completely open-minded and polite and grateful. Then, the possibilities for learning and growth are boundless. ~ Jozef Simkovic

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5. Your happiness is your concern, not others.

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I want you to accept one last timeless fact: all humans have a tendency to search for happiness in a variety of things, people, and locations. Many think that having your family around or purchasing the house of your dreams will bring happiness. But how has that fulfilled your life experience? You guessed correctly: nothing or no one can.
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You are destined for misery from the start when you think that other people, things, or occasions will bring you happiness. But if you put your happiness first, you'll be fortunate to lead a calm and boundless existence.
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If I must know something in order to believe in it, what I am able to believe in will be severely limited. If I choose to believe in something in order to know it, then what I believe in can be boundless. ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

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Boundlessly Moving Forward

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These five eternal truths or principles will therefore assist you in creating a boundless life in which you welcome challenges and find fulfillment. I ask everyone to join me on this wonderful adventure.
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By the way you think about yourself, your life, and your situations, you put limits on your potential. This often puts a cap on your ability to grow and develop. You’re just not able to pass that limit. Unless you believe you are boundless.
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The lesson here is to not put yourself in a box and believe that your potential is finite. Rather, embrace a development mentality and start making small changes to become more boundless in all facets of your life. Everyone possesses this amazing unrealized potential within, in various ways.
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The limitless life plan defies conventional age-based limitations by fostering an intentional lifestyle of lifelong learning and mentoring among generations. There are no limits to exploration, behavior is guided by purpose, and wisdom is freely given and sought for. An enduring passion for discovery, significant accomplishments, and lifelong learning guarantee a legacy that uplifts and encourages people of all ages.
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Behind me is infinite power. Before me is an endless possibility, around me is boundless opportunity. ~ Mac Anderson

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Since modern diplomacy first begun with the Congress of Vienna of 1815, its role has grown exponentially and it’s now key to understanding world events. As such, it is my belief that Civ VII will inevitably feel incomplete, especially in the late game, without giving diplomacy the attention it deserves
Some ways I would imagine this could play out would be:

1. Political agreements: friendship agreements forming the basis for other forms of cooperation, being able to create international organizations that could form the basis for multilateral agreements, allowing foreign military bases in your territory, conditioned peace treaties (eg. disallowing for raising an army in the defeated country during X turns), pacts of vassalage…
2. Economic agreements: free trade agreements (without which the available international trade routes would be severely limited or outright non-existent), customs unions (which would multiply the benefits of international trade routes), opening up national resources to foreign investment/exploitation in exchange for money…
3. Multilateral agreements (signed in international organizations) affecting only its member states in matters such as demographics (eg. visa liberalization promoting pop growth), resource management (eg. climate change conventions impeding the abuse of certain resources so as to stem global warming), defense (multilateral defense pacts or military coalitions to deal with a specific target), economic cooperation (multilateral free trade agreements, customs unions, collective sanctions)...
4. Unilateral acts: nationalising resources (returns their explotation to you), denouncing another country in an international organisation to put to a vote if they’re kicked out, choosing where to send diplomats so as to strengthen ties and be able to sign pacts, economic sanctions (removing commercial access)…

I feel like 4X games tend to have a weak diplomatic aspect and a weak late game. In my opinion, these two issues go hand in hand, so I believe by giving diplomacy the importance it really has today the final stages of the game will feel more fleshed out, interesting, and historical. Through diplomatic agreements other late game issues could be solved (for instance, you need petrol but haven’t got it in your territory and your friends haven’t researched the technology yet? Just sign a free trade agreement and exploit the resource inside their own borders) What do you think?

<< First < Back
My ears perked up at the shifting of branches outside of my view. A low growl echoed through the dense foliage that surrounded me. Who was there? What was there?
I had been wandering this forest for what felt like days, but in reality, was only a handful of hours. I was searching for anything, anywhere that could help me on my new journey. Minutes earlier, a hunger and thirst had gnawed at my insides, reminding me I no longer had the soul power to simply ignore hunger and thirst. I had chuckled to myself, recalling the moments my soul shattered and a singular piece ejected into this dimension, continuing my existence, but at a cost of most of my soul.
I instinctually willed power into my hand, shaping it into a sword, before sighing when was warned of using too much before I had finished the hilt.
SP: 14
Soul stage: Shattered
Soul power gain multi: 0.01X
I couldn’t risk losing the final shreds of soul power I had left. With a grimace, I stopped making the sword, willing the power back into my soul, and taking quick glances at my surroundings. Even without my supernatural abilities, I was still a talented fighter.
Is what I would have said if the creature charging at me wasn’t a wolf or boar shaped thing twice my height.
Diving for cover and out of the path of the creature, I booked it. Screw hunting, there was no way in hell I was taking down this freak of nature. Sprinting through the trees, I failed to account for the fact that the gigantic wolf-boar was, in fact, faster than me.
Battle instincts hadn’t disappeared with the rest of my soul, however, as I flattened myself again when the wolf was upon me. I was about to scramble to my feet again when I heard something yell behind me.
The language was unrecognisable, but I stayed down when I saw a flash of light from where the voice originated. A searing hot ball of flame flew over my head, nailing the wolf in the face, stunning it briefly. I looked up to see a man, hands coated in a bright purple light, chanting something. He pushed them forwards, bombarding the creature with a flurry of purple bolts.
The animal screams in agony before crumpling, and the man lands, breathing heavily. He turns to me, grinning and spoke in a language I could not interpret. Right. Isekai worlds, different languages. Duh.
Upon noticing my blank face, he stared expectantly.
I instinctively reached towards a universal translator skill I once had, before realising in that space was just… emptiness. I let out a sigh. Power loss was a steep price to pay for survival.
“Um… do you speak English?” I stuttered out.
The man returned my blank stare.
“Well, I guess that’s a no.” I picked myself off the ground and dusted myself off, checking for any cuts and major damage. A couple of bruises, throbbed, a painful reminder of my loss of healing abilities. When I turned my attention back to the man, he had begun a string of gestures.
First, he pointed to me, then made a mouth opening and mimed putting something in. I supposed it had been an offer of food. Odd, but I nodded in response. I suppose I shouldn’t question the culture of the world, and this man was offering me a free meal, which I wasn’t in the mood to turn down.
He turned, gesturing me to follow, which I did. He lead me back to a small cabin, deeper into the woods and lead me inside. It was quaint, like what someone would expect an abode in the middle of the forest to look like. A brick fireplace, a small bed, a bookshelf, it emanated the sense of rustic comfort.
He picked a book from the bookshelves, flipping it open to an empty page and leaving it on the table with what looked like a writing utensil. Then, he made more gestures. He pointed to me and wrote onto the book. A crude representation of a person, an arrow, and a chair.
Was he asking me to attack a chair with an arrow…?
Wait he wasn’t done. He added an extra symbol that showed the person sitting onto the chair. I mentally facepalmed. So much for universal imagery. I took a seat and pondered the exchange. Even though it seemed like images and their representations were universal, it became very apparent that even the simplest gestures could be interpreted incorrectly.
He put the book and the utensil down and went to the small kitchen area, which held a steaming pot. An aroma of a freshly made stew lingered in the air. Stereotypical, but beggars can’t be choosers.
While waiting for the man to finish making the food, I turned my attention to the fragmented state of my soul.
SP: 15
Soul stage: Shattered
Soul power gain multi: 0.01X
In the 10 minutes we had spent walking, my soul had accumulated a whole extra point of soul power. I groaned at the painfully slow speed and mulled over my options. Previously, I had upgraded my generation speed with my soul power. Spending soul power to make more soul power, I had likened it to an idle game. Alternatively, entering higher soul stages would provide a boost in soul power and reduce skill costs.
I tried upgrading my soul generation capacity first. I focused my meagre power inwards to expanding my soul, coaxing it to grow. It was… way easier than normal, which made sense I suppose, due to the small state of my soul. Soul power condensed and coagulated around my soul, making it bigger, stronger, giving it more capacity and power. Sure enough, when I checked my status…
Soul power gain multi: 0.02X
Doubled. Not bad, but still pitifully weak. I tried the next strategy. Soul stages were entered and exited based on user willpower, which I fortunately had a lot of training with. Even if my soul was lost, my mind wasn’t. I called upon the will that would have easily allowed me to enter soul stage 1 and…
Warning, soul cannot handle excess soul power.
A sharp pain pulled me out of entering the soul stage. I had apparently reached the willpower requirement, but my shattered soul couldn’t handle the influx of energy. I sighed, stuck as a shattered soul until I could find some way to repair it.
Fortunately, my downed spirit was cheered by the presence of the fresh soup placed in front of me. I gave the man a smile, which he returned before digging in. Despite the mouth watering aroma, a sliver of doubt remained. What if the food was unsanitary, or potentially poisonous? But the battle for hunger eventually won over, and I scooped spoonfuls of the ambrosia into my mouth.
After our meal, the man pulled the book to him, in which he drew a house and a question mark next to it. I took a gamble and guessed he was inquiring about my home. For all intents and purposes, I was homeless, which I illustrated by drawing a stick figure walking away from a home with a cross through it.
The man had a look of understanding, before getting up and rummaging through his cupboards, eventually withdrawing a roll of some sort of soft fabrics. He handed them to me, started drawing again. Drawing a sun half obscured by a line, most likely a horizon, followed by a house with an arrow pointing towards it. He emphasised his point by pointing towards me and pointing down towards his feet. He wanted me to… stay?
I hesitated. I had far overstayed my welcome, but then where else would I stay? This kind stranger offered a roof over my head when I had none, so I wouldn’t turn down his generosity. I nodded and looked for a place to lay down the linen… mattress… thing.
***
Stretching and yawning, I winced as the remnants of back pain and exhaustion faded. Blinking away the haze of sleep, I gathered myself. Memories of yesterday flooded in, and I sighed. Still stuck in this Isekai world, great. Checking my interface, I noticed I had accumulated a bit of SP to work with.
SP: 158
Soul stage: Shattered
Soul power gain: 0.02X
First things first, I would try repair my soul as much as possible. Focusing inwards once more and directing energy towards my soul, I felt it expand much more readily than yesterday. Newly formed solid structures held much of the power together as it coagulated into one. I exhaled and checked my status again.
SP: 58
Soul stage: Foundation
Soul power gain: 0.2X
Empty talent slots: 1
I smiled, noticing my soul stage had transcended from “shattered”. It still wasn’t in the realm of what I was used to, so it was probably still abysmally weak, but a 10 times increase in soul power was very welcome. Though one unfamiliar feature caught my attention. Talent slots? What the hell were those?
The user expresses a strong desire to understand. Filling talent slot
The question vanished as soon it was arose, but a new addition took its place.
SP: 58
Soul stage: Foundation
Soul power gain: 0.2X
Talents:
Worldly information matrix
A subconscious echo popped into my mind as I read.
Talents were permanent emplacements within one’s soul that greatly boosts one specific aspect about the person. Whether it be mana regeneration, or a group of or even just one spell, it will strengthen that aspect significantly. Talent slots are unlocked upon the growth of one’s soul.
How the hell did I know that?
Before I could ponder any longer, shuffling was heard next to me, and the man sat up and stretched.
“Mmm, what’s the time…?” He muttered. His voice was deep, gruff, yet friendly and had an edge of kindness to it.
I looked around for some sort of time implement, and upon finding one, responded, “I don’t know how to read your clocks.” However, the words left my mouth in a language I never knew I could speak. We locked eyes in disbelief, and both made an exclamation of surprise.
“What the… I thought you couldn’t speak our tongue!”
“I didn’t know I could understand your language!” I fumbled over the unfamiliar words in my mouth. But whatever changed, it allowed me to speak this new dialect.
Gathering ourselves after the recent discovery, he sat me at the table as he poured me some form of hot beverage.
“So you can understand me now. Excellent! Now, who are you truly?”
“I am…” I hesitated. I searched my past, urging it to provide me my true identity. I sighed, knowing that my true name was lost to time. Instead I provided the name bestowed upon me by those I protected, by the world I had left behind. “I am Custos. The guardian of Earth.”
“I see. A pleasure to meet you Custos, I am Orion.” He chuckles, “I am no guardian unfortunately, just a humble hermit alone in these woods. It’s not common I get visitors. I have never heard of this ‘Earth’. Would you please enlighten me”
I hesitated once more. These people did not seem to know about interstellar travel, let alone interdimensional. “It’s a land from far, far away.”
He nodded, and sipped from his cup, urging me to do the same. “That explains why you didn’t know our tongue. Speaking of, how did you manage to learn our tongue so quickly? No translation spells around here, I assure you.”
“Apparently I used a talent slot to unlock a-“
The sound of a cup clattering onto the table cut me off. “You used a talent slot for it?! Why?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Are they that valuable?”
The man gave me an exasperated look. “Valuable? They’re priceless! Enhance magic, grant infinite strength, and you chose being bilingual.”
“Ah I see. Is this permanent?”
The man shook his head. “Every human has 5 talent slots. Permanent, unchangeable, and once a talent has been assigned there is no way of removing it.”
I pondered his statement. It seemed to conflict with the information my own talent provided me, but I shook it off, disregarding it for another time.
“Unfortunate,” I said, taking a sip from my own cup. It tasted like a mocha, but less strong. “You mentioned you know spells? Are you some sort of wizard?”
He chuckled, “Not really, the mages are really up there in terms of skill. I’m just someone who wanted a bit of peace and quiet and learned a bit of magic along the way. This book has been my magical bible.” He stood and fetched another book from his bookshelf, opening it in front of me.
The words shuffled and morphed into a language I could understand, courtesy of my talent, as I read through it. It contained a comprehensive list of spells, alongside Orion’s notes and diagrams, scrawled over the pages.
“Interesting.” I murmured, a spark of curiosity igniting within me. “Well, best I take my leave. I’ve far overstayed my welcome.”
“Friend, no need to worry about that. You may stay as long as you like. Especially if you haven’t a place of your own.”
This man kindness bordered on naivety, but at least I didn’t have to worry about dying for now.

You are not what you convince yourself to be.
You are not your faith, or politics - whirlpools you're shoved into, spun to never set you free.
Not the principles you hold - indoctrination bloating you with prejudice.
Not your gender, nor your pronoun - a premade mold you're intended to conform to.
Neither you're the many names, decided or preferred, finite languages provide you.
Not your sexuality - only a direction, which your instinct bends for.
Not your genetic concoction - just an amalgamation that comprises your entrapment.
Not your civilization - you are within an ethnic zoo, fenced by deserts of colonization.
You are not your ancestry - the latest branch of a tree cannot support its entirety.
Your subculture also isn't you - the false divergence keeps you vain.
Not your indignation - a foreseen response to exploitation.
Not your trauma - wounds hurry your declination.
You aren't your affliction - the hand you're dealt steals all control.
You aren't your addiction - imbibed remedies dull externalities.
And you're not your cloistered angst - a condition you don by default.
Not your dear obsessions - distracting fiction and games you laud.
Not your social media - viral status updates cannot contain you.
Not your meticulous lists - such an arrangement doesn't express you.
Not your opinion, or humor - iterations of what came ahead.
Not even your art - that is not vacuum you mimic with zest.
You're not your consciousness - a wonder eluding explanation.
You're not your mental capacity - you have no say in its saturation.
Not your amorous infatuation - love serves to deplete you.
Not your goals, nor commitments - hurdles to maintain you preoccupied.
Not your career - the grinding of a gear.
Not your property - a shell to jam yourself in.
Not your achievements - checked off unoriginality.
Not your routine - established behaviors to not interrupt the monotony.
By no means your privilege - inherited advantage breeds vulnerabilities.
Not your penitent guilt - a badge of distinction to flaunt.
Not your self-destruction - insanity disguised as martyrdom.
Not your emotions - reactions to stimuli not letting you rest.
Not your satisfaction - a narcotic you chase.
You're not your volition, whilst inertia is the alternative.
You're not your mistakes - when folly is all you comprehend.
You're not your apathy - necessary if the noise is too much to tolerate.
You're not your narcissism - environment obliges to imitate the prevalent.
Not your ignorance - the neglect of investment.
Not your hope - a lure to toy with.
You are not your life - calculated moves on an automated board.
And you are not your death - a zero sum result of a gamble you did not initiate.
You are not what you convict yourself to be.

This is another of my poems I wrote from my book - Graphic Fever. If you like this one, please check my social links in profile for more.
Feedback given: 3,4

Hey everyone, I'm working on finding the best farming strategy.
I've read several times that if the tower range is greater than 63, it's really bad. The problem is that the orbs can't reach the center of the Black Hole, which reduces farming efficiency because when Black Hole and Gold Tower are synched, you really want to kill as many enemies as possible while the ultimate weapons are active.
To fix the tower range, we can't get any Utility and Attack upgrades. Otherwise, over time, these upgrades will increase the range beyond the limit.
That makes sense, but the downside of this strategy is that I miss out on other free upgrades like super-crit, packages, damage, and health.
I noticed, that there's a relatively simple way to solve the Range vs. BH problem: just set Extra Orbs to 85, and you're good to go.
If so does it worth to pay so much attention to Range at all? Am I missing anything here? How do you all farm?
For context, I'm just entering the "mid-game." BH and GT are synchronized, and my total coin gain is around 10 billion.

This campaign is going to go to level 14, start at level 3, and take place in an American Frontier meets Honkai: Star Rail setting. Firearms will be a viable weapon choice, but I have a spellcaster concept I’ve really wanted to explore. I’m still struggling to come up with a name, so I’ll use Akami as a placeholder.
Akami’s backstory is also pretty rough, but the general idea is: she was born a Dhampir and Aberrant Mind Sorcerer who had to feed off psychic energy. Those cravings made finding a consistent home difficult, and she was constantly forced to flee to new settlements on (what’s basically) The Astral Express. The innate magic of her sorcery made finding people to care for her relatively easy as a child, but the world’s understandable intolerance for enchantment magic always shunted her elsewhere. She’d recently received a letter telling her she’ll inherit part of her grandmother’s will – a grandmother she didn’t know she had – which is part of the inciting incident for the campaign.
Mechanically, I want Akami to scout, infiltrate, and serve as a party face. Flavorfully, I want her spells and features to involve bending reality around her to make things easier.
Current starting stat spread is: STR 8, DEX 14, CON 14, INT 10, WIS 12, CHA 17
Current planned feats are: Metamagic Adept, Telekinetic (Charisma), and a Charisma ASI
I am considering picking up a level of Hexblade instead of Sorcerer 13 for medium armor and shield proficiency. I’ve also considered going WIS 13 to take a Cleric dip for the same benefit and spell progression.
Current skills are: Arcana, Deception, Insight, Investigation, Persuasion (Expertise), Sleight of Hand, Stealth (Expertise)
Race is: Dhampir
Current planned spells are: ([P] means it’s a Psionic Spell)
Cantrips: Mind Sliver [P], Chill Touch, Friends, Mage Hand, Minor Illusion, Prestidigitation, Shape Water
1st Level: Dissonant Whispers [P], Silvery Barbs [P], Disguise Self, Feather Fall, Shield
2nd Level: Borrowed Knowledge [P], Suggestion [P], Detect Thoughts, Enhance Ability, Misty Step
3rd Level: Sending [P], Tongues [P], Counterspell, Fear
4th Level: Black Tentacles [P], Charm Monster [P], Banishment, Raulothim’s Psychic Lance
5th Level: Geas [P], Telekinesis [P], Skill Empowerment
6th Level: Mass Suggestion
7th Level: Teleport
The group has some lines Modify Memory easily crosses (mostly gaslighting related), so that spell is off the table. I also get one free first level spell of my choice from any class list. Right now I’m waffling between Find Familiar and Healing Word.
Is there any advice you have for this build? Are there any sleeper (or great) spells I missed for this character? Are any of the spells I picked better replaced by something else? Do you have any different Feat or ASI suggestions?
Thanks for taking the time to read this!

So my boyfriend 28M of two years now, had cheated on me 24F at the start of the relationship and lied to me straight for the next six months. I’ve never looked through his phone, I found out when the other girl reached out to me. I forgave him and stayed with him for various reasons. Even though it was hard to trust him, I chose to give him his privacy, never looked through his phone for the next two years. But due to recent circumstances, I’ve felt an insane urge to look though his phone and wanted access to his Instagram account, which he had conveniently disabled for a month. So I tried logging in from his phone and there was an error and he didn’t try, just said he must’ve deleted the account. He said it was because of me being paranoid, Instagram comes between us with me doubting him and so he ‘deleted’ it. I was furious. Because that does not solve the origin of the problem, it’s him, not the platform. I expressed how upset I was that he didn’t understand me or even try to. (We’ve had this conversation multiple times).
That very same night when he was out of town, he miraculously recovered his account and sent me the password which was repeatedly the ‘incorrect’ password whenever I tried logging in. So I asked him for the login code which would be sent to his number to which he denied forwarding it. He started getting annoyed that I wanted his account. For three whole days, it went on. I wouldn’t push. But when we met up and I asked for the same thing again, he didn’t mind me looking through his phone with him but when I asked to access his account through my phone, he just blew up. We ended up not speaking, yelling, and he left me outside his place saying LEAVE to which I, I have no words left to express the pain I’ve felt. I’ve never imagined he’d treat me like this after all we’ve been through. He never tried calling or leaving a text message. I called him up that night, furious, asking why he couldn’t trust me with his account. After all that he’s put me through, dragged me though the dirt and disrespected our relationship and me, I still stood up for him. And all I ask of now, was his account for mere reassurance. I’ve never asked before nor have I checked but why couldn’t he give me this reassurance for our relationship we built? This one time in our whole time together? I am hurt and I feel betrayed of all things, like a waste of two whole years. He was my everything. And his reply to all of this was why do I have to push him when he denies something. Why can I not trust him by his words and why do I still think he is the man he was two years ago.
Oh for more context, I did trust him until a year back when I found out he deletes messages of women who text him, before he meets me in person in case I check because I’m ‘paranoid’ as he states. Found it out by accident when we were both watching a reel on his phone and even after that I didn’t check his phone, what’s the point, he has deleted all evidence anyway. But that one occurrence is ALWAYS on the back of my head. I try, I try really hard to trust him and I hate that I’m being this toxic woman I absolutely despise but I can’t help it. I hate what I’ve become and he’s not helping. He turned me into this. I’m against checking phones because one’s privacy is their own but why can’t he let me after cheating on me to save our trust?
After a heated conversation last night, he still didn’t even try understanding what I’m going through and I was honestly tired of explaining over and over again. He tried getting me back as it worked out multiple times before hitting me with “So you’re done with this relationship just because of this one thing, after all we’ve been through? And proceeded to express the depth of his love” to which I blocked him in all platforms right away but I think this is it. If I’m the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, what does he have to hide? If he’s treating me with such hostility for a ‘small thing’ as he states, who’s to say about the future? Am I overreacting as he states, am I being stupid and toxic and throwing something beautiful away due to me being paranoid? I adore him, he and me sync perfectly in life, we’ve dreamed of settling together and I love him. Do I make amends or is getting back together just delaying the process and making it more painful for the both of us to part? Am I in the wrong? I have so many questions and I am so confused. I feel embarrassed of all things. How do I tackle this life situation, sigh. I need advice.
TL;DR! Since my boyfriend of two years who previously cheated on me is denying me access to his Instagram account and not giving me the reassurance I need, I’ve left him. Am I in the wrong?

I’ve refused to believe I’m an alcoholic for the longest time because I always told myself I’m in college and it’s normal or I’m just struggling with mental issues and that when I’m finally stress free I’ll be fine. But recently I’ve been coming to terms that the amount of alcohol I drink isn’t normal even for a frat dude like my self. It’s really started last year when my dad cheated on my mom and left, I was stuck home away from college with a mom with a broken heart that couldn’t leave bed and 2 younger siblings (6 male and 15 female) and I felt like I had to be the man of the house and take care of them. So I didn’t show any emotion relating to the situation thinking I was setting a good example for my siblings especially my teenage sister that was already going through so much in her life, and my younger brother that couldn’t comprehend why daddy wasn’t coming home after work. But late at night I would drink a shit ton of wine to “get the edge off” cuz it was the only way I felt sane throughout the day. And then it became a normal thing, put my siblings to sleep then go to the local gas station and drink wine in my car in front of my house. While doing this I saw how much my friends where having fun in college on their Snapchat stories and it made me even more depressed. My mom and little brother moved to a different state and my sister moved in with my older sibling, so I also moved away, as far as I could to try to restart my life but I guess the past haunts me still because I find myself not being able to do express any emotions unless I’m drinking and it’s become I problem. I drink probably 4 times a week and I’m able to take week long breaks in between to try to “prove to myself” that I don’t have a drinking problem but then I realize that I’m almost unable to express any real emotions. Sure when my friends call or I go out I make jokes and people laughing and I seem very relax and fun, but I feel like it’s not real. I’ve come to terms with my situation, including starting to have a relationship with my dad again but no matter what I do it I always feel like I’m putting on a mask or persona until I drink then I allow myself to feel. I’ve seen a therapist but even then I can’t seem to tell her the truth and she thought that I was doing fine. I think when I’m sober I truly believe I’m fine and doing better it’s only when I drink when I realize that I’m not. I know I’m rambling and people are not rlly gonna read this but I thought it would be good to write it down, this is just the very simplified version but I’m just wondering if anyone can offer any advice for me. I don’t need to drink but I feel like I won’t be able to express my true feelings without it. Sorry if this message is full of grammatical errors, it’s 4:50 am here and I’m very tired.

Everyone definitely has a different way of interpreting the choruses of IHWLL, so here’s my two cents I guess
I agree with people who say the statements in the chorus’s first half correspond to the ones in the second half so I’m gonna break it down that way.
WARNING: CANTO content included
Lament!
If you wanted me to speak… Why'd you make my voice stutter?
Contenders for the line:
Sinclair. I think this one is pretty clear cut.
If you wanted me to think… Why do truths never matter?
Contenders for the line:
Ishmael
Ishmael: No… You devoured the crew whole. You painted over their wills, just like the Whales— no! Just like the Pallid Whale! Molding them and shaping them to fit your wants and needs.
Ahab: In truth, I could not care less about your reasons. The moment they set foot upon MY ship, their sights should have rightly been set upon the Pallid Whale! … I am the only one who matters. What matters is that I have declared this beast evil—and that is my commandment, my belief, my religion, and my creed.
If you wanted me to carry on our dreams… Why'd you curse me with "You're a natural born genius"?
The line is confusing because it feels like the two halves are unrelated. But after thinking about it for a while I’ve come up with a few different interpretations of the lyric. I personally think the key phrase here is “why’d you curse me”.
The Sinner I think the line relates to would depend on what it means to curse someone with the claim of being genius.
I might be reaching for some of them, I guess.
Contenders for the line:
Faust
Faust: It's Faust. A genius with whom you're lucky to cross paths even once in your life.
Faust-influenced interpretation: If you wanted me to carry on our dreams (if you wanted me to follow in your footsteps (the will of the creation and creator are aligned))
Why’d you curse me with “You're a natural born genius”? (Why did you tell me my genius was my own?)
I stand by the theory that Faust was genetically engineered into the genius she is currently. Not born, but a man-made creation.
So for her the line is a lament of “If you made me with the intent of fulfilling your purposes… then why did you tell me I was naturally born intelligent, making me erroneously take credit for it and believe I could stand on my own without you?”
Don Quixote
“To carry on our dreams”
Don: Do you carry a dream, Manager Esquire? Verily, I do!
Don-influenced interpretation: If you wanted me to carry on our dreams (If you wanted me to take on your mantle for the both (?) of us, assuming Don is Sancho theory is true)
Why’d you curse me with “You're a natural born genius”? (Why did you remind me of my intelligence?)
We all know Don isn’t really a ditzy airhead but puts on the facade, maybe to cope with her disappointing reality. She dumbs herself down so she can maintain her faith in the dream and forget how unrealistic and futile it is.
So for her the line is a lament of “If you wanted me to keep believing in the dream, why’d you make me remember the truth about myself?” (I’m smarter than I let on, and not really someone who’s foolish enough to wholeheartedly put my faith in it… but I want to be)
(Hear me out) Hong Lu
Hong Lu-influenced interpretation (very similar to Faust, I guess?): If you wanted me to carry on our dreams (If you wanted me to uphold the family legacy)
Why’d you curse me with “You're a natural born genius”? (Telling him he was gifted, and had the ability to make something of himself on his own. Hong Lu’s family is said to consult fortunetellers and trust in divinations, so this could have been said to him by a fortuneteller)
Even though my interpretations for Hong Lu and Faust are similar, I guess what differs is the implications of telling the person they’re a “natural-born genius”.
For Faust, it made her esteem herself highly. Yes, I know the latest Walpurgisnacht shows her admitting her knowledge on certain topics is limited, but her overall attitude remains. Contrast it with Outis who gets defeated and dejected when Ishmael proves to be more capable than her at navigating the Lake.
For Hong Lu, it made him ambitious and want to deviate from the path his family laid out for him, with one of the possible interpretations of the Jia Huan exchange in CANTO I’s ending being that him joining the company might have been highly disapproved.
If you wanted me to live… Why do deaths end my torture?
Contenders for the line:
Yi Sang
Dongbaek: Yi Sang, you look fine.
Gregor: You say it like you're relieved. Didn't you want him...
Dongbaek: You're right. I wanted him to die. But I'm sure he wished for the same. He wouldn't resist while it dug into his heart. It was unpleasant. It felt like I was granting your wish.
Yi Sang: …
If you want me to forgive… Why can't anyone feel my hurt?
Contenders for the line:
Heathcliff
Heathcliff: So I ran. From this manor that degraded me, made me a wretch. From this manor that taught me love, only to deprive me of it. ... No. I was always a wretch. From the moment I was born. A lowly thing like me should not have been allowed to be here in the first place. That's why I tore myself from it. But... I've never given up on Cathy. I only wanted her to realize that she was wrong. To regret what she's done. So that she'll one day return to me.
Carmen: But... what about now?
Heathcliff: Pointless. It's all pointless.
If you want us to pretend like we're civilized humans… Why'd you crown the most violent to be champions?
Contenders for the line:
Rodion
Sonya: Is that why you decided to take matters into your own hands?
Rodion: Absolutely. What our town needed… Wasn’t an empty promise telling people to sit on their hands for who knows when. But someone who wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the axe.
Ryoshu?
Heathcliff?
However, there are only 6 couplets (?) in total, which only covers around half the main cast.
Thus, I think the lines below the “loop” lyrics are also referring to certain Sinners.
For the first two lines, getting a headache trying to define the key words.
Standards. Line.
The standards inside me… lowers to the earth
Contenders for the line:
Hong Lu (standards for his expectations of his journey/life overall?)
Heathcliff (standards for self)
Ryoshu (Art? Aesthetics?)
Gregor (similar to Heathcliff, standards for what he deserves)
Gregor: My own free will never played much of a role in my life. It only makes sense that resisting is meaningless in this reflection of my mind.
The line I drew for me… lowers to the earth
Contenders for the line:
Ishmael (the line between you and the person you despise)
Ryoshu (Theorising: the line between what is and isn’t off limits in the pursuit of art, admittedly she’s already a little unhinged about it so idk)
The justice inside me… rationalize my sin
Contenders for the line:
Don Quixote (the more obvious one)
“The justice (righting the wrongs of the world) inside me… rationalize my sin (justifying to myself why I must spill blood to deliver what I call justice).”
Meursault
“The justice (questioning the fairness of his trial) inside me… rationalize my sin (understanding what I have done wrong).”
Meursault: They are difficult to understand.
(Admittedly not alluding to a trial but the general idea of failing to rationalize something he finds odd is there)
Meursault: They seem so eager to express themselves... Nevermind. That was a pointless anecdote. It was a waste of my energy.
The ego fending me, rationalize my sin
Contenders for the line: Don Quixote (if you interpret her being not so much motivated by justice, and more of the way it makes herself feel- feeding her ego)
…
Actually, all of them.
Pretty sure there’s additional meanings I’m overlooking but that’s all I’ve managed to analyse for now

Hey everyone,
I'm a recent graduate who just landed a job as a VOIP engineer, but I've got big ambitions beyond that. I'm the type who loves to tackle new challenges and constantly improve myself. One of my long-term goals is to transition into a network engineering role, mainly because of the flexibility it offers—I'm not a fan of early morning commutes through terrible traffic!
Currently, I'm enjoying a hybrid work schedule, spending a few days in the office and the rest at home. However, I'm looking to stay in the VOIP field for another 3-5 years while simultaneously honing my skills for a more advanced position like senior network engineer. I'm not just interested in solving problems; I want to understand the underlying principles and reasons behind each solution.
I'm aware that technology evolves rapidly, so I'm on the lookout for courses or certifications that can help me learn and demonstrate my knowledge. I'm starting with free courses for now but plan to explore paid options like the CCNA in the future. Currently, I'm delving into SIP, Asterisk, and PBX, and I already have a strong foundation in networking and Linux.
Could you please suggest any courses, reading materials, or certifications that could help me along my career journey? I'm eager to hear about any resources that have helped you reach where you are today.
Thanks a lot for your insights and recommendations!

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