How long have we been together

For .gifs that provide knowledge!

2013.01.30 07:21 IIHURRlCANEII For .gifs that provide knowledge!

Gifs are great at getting quick to digest info, and /educationalgifs strives to give you educational info in this quick to digest format. From chemical processes, to how plants work, to how machines work, /educationalgifs will explain many processes in the quick to see format of gifs.
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2008.09.23 13:27 /r/hair

Welcome to the /hair community! This community is all about hair and beauty.
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2009.06.15 01:12 buu700 Relationship Advice

Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!
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2024.05.14 18:24 Connect-Score3561 How do get over who I thought was the one?

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.
submitted by Connect-Score3561 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:24 Connect-Score3561 How to get over who I thought was the one? I need advice(F27, M29, other Female 23)

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.
submitted by Connect-Score3561 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:23 ilovecrossiant girlfriend broke up with me

i dont know how to get over this. we have been together for 6 months and i know that’s not long but im so upset i cant eat or sleep and i feel awful. its been 3 days. she asked me to come to her house which is 1.5 hours away on the bus just to break up with me. the bus ride home was horrible. she told me it’s because she doesnt feel as strongly about me than i do with her. it was so hard to hear her say that to me. it seemed like everything was normal. all i can do is sleep and stay in bed all day. i dont know what to do. i cant stop thinking of all of our memories together. and its not even fixable. its not like we had an argument, i cant just say im sorry and try to fix it, its literally just she doesnt love me. any advice on how to get over this?
submitted by ilovecrossiant to LesbianActually [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:20 LisaBerglund Is it wrong to date someone that you don't wanna commit to or get serious with?

Last friday I swiped on a girl, thinking that if she swipes back we can have some fun over text you know. And she did swipe back, and proved to be really nice and cute, but also very fast forward. She wanted to meet up, right away. And it was in the middle of the night.
I told her that she was a little bit fast, but that we could go out the next day. Spontaneous but not bad right?
I was very nervous, like I took the date serious ofc, and she was still very cute and charming when we met. Like a true lady. She picked me up in her car, paid for the food, and bombed me with compliments, told me how beautiful I was. Like once every minute...
What can I say. I'm a sucker for that kind of attention, but it was almost too much. It felt rude not responding with the same things back. She's cute, that's a fact. But even if I alos can come across as fast forward and very interested I still need time. My biggest red flag is that I'm a people pleaser, I validate and compliment people all the time, that not a bad thing per say. But it can cause a lot of trouble while dating.
Every time she gave me a compliment I responded with the same thing back at her, while also being genuine and open about what I liked about her. If I had felt no attraction what so ever I would have let her know. But their is some attraction there, and it felt nice acting on it.
After the dinner we landed at my place, and we barely made it through the door before we laid cuddling in my bed, kissing and hugging.
She wanted it, I wanted it, like I have been single for over a year. I didn't only want it, I was craving it. But I have a complicated relation with sex, and when I noticed how willing she was I asked if it was ok if we just cuddled, and she was fine with that. But now she didn't tell me how cute I was anymore, but how hot and sexy I was.
She was grinding against me, I could feel how frustrated she was (she even told me) So.. I decided to please her, only with my fingers though.
She asked for more but I calmly told her that I wasn't comfortable with that. Please understand, It wasn't a problem. I didn't give her a clear explonation to why I didn't wanna do it, and when I gave in I get that she thought that I had changed my mind. I was OK with pleasing her, but not the other way around.
I felt that our date was a little bit too intense. Like... All the cute cuddling and affection towards each other. It was nice but if someone would have seen us they would have though that we were romantically in love. And I didn't know how to tone it down without hurting her.
Well, she'll be gone in the morning I thought. But then my friend called me and told me that she's still pissed at me over a thing and didn't want me to stay at her place when I was fixing a thing in her town on the upcoming Monday. My date had heard the conversation, and told me that it was chill cause she could drive me on Monday.
It was really cute of her, and it solved my problems, so I said ok, and we spent all weekend together. Making everything even more intense and complicated. Cause it was nice, she is damn nice. But I don't know, I don't feel that I wanna get serious with her, but now I already am... Like we were like lovers this weekend. Holding hands in public, kissing and giving long hugs all the time, being all cute and dorky with each other. Grabbing... (You know)
And I know that she have STRONG feelings for me. Like she is all over me. Lovebombing me all the time, and now she asked if I wanna hang out the upcoming weekend. And I said yes, cause it would've been nice. But I feel so bad, cause I'm almost certainly sure that I don't wanna get in a relationship with her. Like I'm posetivt. So now it's like I'm just using her and giving her false hope.
I don't wanna hurt her, I don't wanna stop seeing her, but I don't wanna commit. What should I do? She's really vulnerable which makes this so much worse. She's wonderful and deserves the same commitment and affection back. What should I do!?
submitted by LisaBerglund to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:20 Winniehiller ⏰⏳⌚️THE OLDEST EXCUSE IN THE BOOK! It’s the easiest too: “I DON’T HAVE TIME”. It’s often our way of avoiding what we want the most. “If I don’t try, I can’t fail”. So many who long to be actors subconsciously let this stop them from even getting started. Is this you? Read on!⌚️⏳⏰

A couple years ago I woke up in the middle of the night and shared this extremely vivid dream on actingclass. I’m glad I did, or I would have forgotten all about it. I think it’s time to share it again and remind some of you who might have seen it. Here it is. It’s a wild one!
I was working in the Amazon forest with people who were born, first, as tiny little flies, but quickly turned into human beings. But their life cycle was extremely short, and they were aging at an incredibly accelerated speed. And I was there because many of them wanted to learn acting before they died. So I was trying to teach them. Some at their bed side as they turned into very old people. But they still wanted to learn, working until they took their last breath.
One gray old man was about to die and I could see his spirit start to leave his body. I felt so bad that he hadn’t achieved what he hoped. But just as I thought he was gone for good, his spirit returned to him and he opened his eyes and ask me to tell him more.
I don’t know why these people wanted to act. They wouldn’t live long enough to have careers. But it was what they wanted, even on their deathbed, so I was there with them until they couldn’t hang on any longer.
It’s not so hard to interpret this dream. It’s kind of the way I feel now, knowing there are so many of you out there, ignoring what your heart has been telling you for years. If you are 20 years old, 70 seems a long ways away. But I am looking back from 69, and it seems like yesterday I was 20. We do all have a limited time on this earth. If we were more aware of it, we wouldn’t waste the precious time we have. And I think we are all born with our dreams and inclinations planted within us that need to be fulfilled. It may not make sense, but that desire is there and it will never go away. You already know—it hasn’t gone away yet.
If acting is your deepest desire, I do want to help you achieve it in your lifetime. I don’t want you to run out of time. You are blessed with a long life so you CAN achieve so much. But it is only a blink of an eye in reality. You can’t take it for granted. It will be over before you know it. At 69 years old, my desire is to help everyone to be able to fulfill their dreams. That is my passion. I know I don’t have forever to do it. So take advantage of this opportunity while you can—me wanting to help you. In fact, treasure every moment of your life and use your time to do what brings you joy and fulfillment.
What do you really mean when you say “I don’t have time? Plain and simple it’s that you haven’t made acting one of your priorities. If something is important to you, you will find a way to fit it into your schedule. You know, even as busy as you are, you waste time on things that don’t help you to move forward. Think about it! And try some of these alternatives:
1. Wake up Earlier! Set your alarm 15-30 minutes earlier. Read one of my WRITTEN LESSONS. Read them in order. Or watch one of my VIDEO LESSONS and work your way up from the bottom to the top. Leave comments on both so you can go back and remember what you learned. I will respond to you and keep track of what you are learning and give you pointers.
2. Go to bed later. If you’re not a morning person, maybe devoting some time to learning about acting would be better right before bed. It’s the commitment that counts. Do what I described above. I will be there to help.
3. Commit to One of my Weekly classes Check out YESTERDAY’S POST. It describes a step be step plan to become a professional actor. When you become a committed member of my student body you will be in the loop for whatever you should do next. But making yourself answerable to going to class and rehearsing with scene partners is a way to make sure you don’t let time slip away. It will change your life and help you to become “Acting Focused”. When you “don’t have time”, you sometimes need to commit to something in a definite way—like getting a trainer at the gym. I did that so I had to show up at appointment times. It made me find time. It got me in shape. My Acting Classes are like going to the “Acting Gym”. They will get you in shape for what you need to become a professional actor. A new session of “Intro to Acting” starts tomorrow.
4. Visit actingclass at least once a day! I want to encourage everyone to visit actingclass, every day. It’s a gold mine of information. It’s almost impossible to take in all that’s available here. But do a little at a time and get started. And if you want to start putting all those concepts and techniques into practice and you really have no time to join any of my scheduled classes, try taking a couple private lessons. We can do it at a time that perfectly fits into your schedule. Together we can take you to a whole new level of understanding. HERE is the post that describes all the possibilities and costs of working with me on Zoom.
I know you are busy. But are you too busy to do what your heart desires? Make time. Make a commitment. I’m here to help you every step of the way
submitted by Winniehiller to Actingclass [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:17 PinkGummyBear74 I (33F) found out my boyfriend (36M) emotionally cheated on me when we first started dating. How can I get past this?

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?
submitted by PinkGummyBear74 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:15 Many-Patient2894 I think my cousin was replaced, and I think I know when it happened. I don't know what to do

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.
submitted by Many-Patient2894 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:14 Silent_Raspberry_921 I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck

Throwaway vent because I don’t know what to do with myself right now. My heart is aching. He’s staying at our apartment until he finds a new place to live and I can’t even look at him without starting to cry.
After almost five years, he sat me down and said he no longer sees me as a romantic partner. Our relationship isn’t exciting. He’s not attracted to me. He wants to fall in love again (ouch).
I asked what changed. He said he’s been feeling so tired lately and coming home to me used to brighten his day, but it doesn’t anymore. He would still feel tired, so instead of talking about it he worked longer hours, distanced himself… he said he reached a point where he didn’t want to do it—us—anymore. He said he realized he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore in March. He told me yesterday. I want to fight for us but it feels like it’s too late, like he’s made up his mind.
He said he wanted to tell me Sunday on the drive home from my grandmother’s house. He cried to me in the car about feeling dissociated all the time and guilty that he can’t show up for the people in his life; when I asked what he meant he said that he never had issues feeling anything for me before but now he feels nothing. I should have known then but I stupidly thought he might be depressed and didn’t want to make his struggle about my own insecurities. I encouraged him to seek therapy and promised to stay by his side the whole time. I was so worried about him and he knew the whole time that he just wanted to end our relationship. He was clear about that yesterday when I expressed concern for his mental health.
I asked what I could have done differently. He said I could have confronted him about the distance growing between us but then said he would have lied to me had I brought it up. I asked if I could have supported him better, and he said no. I’ve never judged him, I’ve encouraged him to be open with me, but his fear of confrontation always wins. I don’t even know if he’s telling the truth when I ask him these questions.
He carried this around for two months, holding me, kissing me, telling me he loved me, and it was all a lie. I feel so blindsided by all of this. I knew our relationship wasn’t perfect but I thought rough patches where you aren’t as close due to life stress, mental health, etc were normal struggles we could work through together. He always told me we would :(
I’ve resented him for past dishonesty and choosing porn over our intimacy. I knew it was a problem but I wanted to trust him. He always said the right thing, always reassured me that it was stress or performance anxiety or (insert reason here) and it had nothing to do with how he felt about me. I let it go on for too long. At some point the love died and I never noticed because I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit and taking him at his word. Now I know.
I feel like I poured all of the love I had to give into him, even when I was running on empty, and he said he could see me trying for him. I wanted to believe all of his reassurances so badly. I know that was my decision and I don’t hold it against him. It just wasn’t enough and I hate that so much. I want to scream and cry and beg him to stay, but I know it wouldn’t be good for either of us.
I still love him so much. I want him to be happy. I wish that could be with me. We hugged so tightly the night before he ended things and he felt like home. I thought it was a sign that we would be okay. I was so wrong. It might be the last real touch we ever share and I had no idea. I would have held him longer if I had.
submitted by Silent_Raspberry_921 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:14 Connect-Score3561 How to get over who I thought was the one.

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.
submitted by Connect-Score3561 to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:14 adapascal How to Deal with My (f34) Boyfriend's (m37)Decision-Making Struggles and Its Impact on Our Relationship.

My boyfriend (36M) struggles significantly with decision-making, and I (34F) am becoming increasingly impatient. We have been together for 2 years and while I love him dearly and believe he is a good person, his indecisiveness is prompting me to reconsider whether I can cope with it for the long term.
Background: My boyfriend takes an eternity to make any decisions, whether it's about purchasing pants, buying electronics, or even leaving his miserable job. In contrast, I find decision-making relatively straightforward. I usually follow my intuition and plan when necessary, then move forward. It isn’t pleasant trust me. He might argue that I sometimes act impulsively, but I'm comfortable dealing with the consequences, whereas he seeks perfection in the outcome.
Initially, I admired his distinct decision-making process when we first started dating. However, the more I'm exposed to it, the more I find it burdensome. He acknowledges that his approach can be excessive. I've tried to be patient and understanding, refraining from pressuring him or making comments about his pace. Instead, I let him take his time and offer encouragement when he does reach a decision. However, it's becoming increasingly bothersome, and I feel it's impacting our relationship.
Issue: My boyfriend detests his current job due to its long and tedious nature. He has the opportunity to move to my country (currently LDR) to pursue his lifelong dream. He's been diligently saving and planning for months. Yet, with each passing day, he becomes more hesitant to take the leap. He keeps delaying, citing the need to stay longer at his current job to save more money due to the exchange rate and cost of living. However, I've assured him of my support, even offering financial assistance and emphasizing that I don't expect anything in return as long as we can be together. Despite my efforts, he remains uncertain, admitting to being afraid of the choices he makes will be right. I'm at a loss for how to reassure him further. I express optimism and readiness to help, but it seems to have the opposite effect. I simply want him to make a decision of some sort, as his indecision is hindering our progress. I desire to marry him and start a family, and when I express my worries, he claims to share those desires, but without clarity on how or when. I feel time slipping away as he remains on the sidelines. I can't help but wonder if my desire for progress is selfish. I don’t believe in ultimatums, but what should I do? Should I leave him alone to work through his leap anxiety ? Should I walk? I want to protect us but at the what cost?
TL;DR: 2 year relationship. My boyfriend (36M) takes forever to make decisions, causing frustration in our relationship. While I appreciate his thoroughness, it's becoming burdensome. He's hesitant to leave his miserable job despite having a chance to pursue his dream. I've offered support, but he's still uncertain. Unsure if I can cope long-term. What to do?
submitted by adapascal to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:10 BlinkSpectre My ex GF messed me up mentally and emotionally and I’m still trying to recover

This isn’t something I would normally post but I am hoping it’ll be cathartic for me. This might be a long one and a bit of a mess so feel free to skip if you’re not interested in the read.
I 28f up until last August I was in a relationship with who we’ll call ‘M’ 24f for almost 2 years. We met on hinge. In general I’m very shy and not very confident person, and definitely new to dating as I spent most of my teens and early 20’s in the closet due to internalized homophobia. So I don’t have much experience dating. That context is important for the story. By all accounts, M was probably out of my league, (that’s what I told myself, again I have zero self confidence ) she was attractive, smart, came from a good family and on the surface a nice girl. The beginning the relationship was fine, she was in uni for medicine and her school schedule was pretty demanding. We’d only see each other maybe one every month in the beginning of the relationship, I understood she was busy with school and honestly I was still feeling lucky that she chose me to date.
A few months go by and we still remain only seeing each other once a month because her school schedule was so demanding. This is when the red flags start to wave, her school schedule was so demanding yet she was in multiple choirs that she would sing in once a week. She made time for choir but when I asked to hang out I was made to feel like a bother. Plus she played DND with at least 2 different groups of people.
Early in the relationship we were in her car after she dropped me off I asked if we could see each other a little more and she had a strange reaction, I didn’t want to seem needy so I backed off and later apologized via text. She responded with; “sometimes I just like to be alone.” Which as an introvert; I get 100%, so I let it be. But like….we only saw each other once a month as it was…..how could you possibly be alone any more??? I was always the one to ask to hang out, always. And every time I did I would sheepishly ask if she had some free time that weekend to hang out, because I felt like such a bother to her. I’m not exaggerating when I say we would easily go 3-5 weeks without seeing each other in person. We would text every day. But seeing her in person was a luxury. But don’t worry she always had time for choir every single week. Twice a week. Or DND. But seeing her girlfriend was too much strain on her school schedule.
I was always the one to text first. Whether it was good morning, or saying good night. Later in the relationship I wouldn’t text her just to see how long it would take her to text me that day, most time it wasn’t until 3-4 pm that I heard from her.
We never had sex, we barely even kissed.(which isn’t really important to me but damn). It was so difficult to have alone time with her so there was quite literally never an opportunity for intimacy. Towards the end of our relationship we would watch the bachelorette with her mom at her place, so we never had alone time for the last 3 months of dating.
For both valentines days we were together I sent flowers and chocolate to her house. She didn’t get me anything. For my 27th birthday we went out with my friends, and a small part of me wondered if she would offer to pay for my meal. Nope. She also didn’t get me a birthday gift or even a card. Flash forward to Christmas I get her a 250$ makeup palette that she always talked about and a blanket from her favourite K-Pop band. I got an xbox gift card and a cookbook. I need to emphasize that I DO NOT CARE ABOUT presents, I just literally wanted any sort of acknowledgment that she cared about me at all. I also feel the need to point out she has money, both her parents are lawyers and they are very well off and she gets paid to go to school because her field is very specialized. I was raised by a single mother and while I have my own career now, I’m far from rich. But I always went above and beyond to make her feel special and she did the bare minimum. Sometimes not even the bare minimum. This next one really bothered me; its my 28th birthday and I hadn’t mentioned it was coming up. A sick part of me wanted to see if she would remember, I know it’s stupid to test people in a relationship but I was genuinely curious to see if she would remember. It comes the day of my birthday, and I don’t hear from her until 3:30 pm. “Happy Birthday!” That was it. I was floored. A couple days later she managed to squeeze me into her schedule and we go out for dinner. Again, didn’t pay for my meal. For her birthday we went to a nice restaurant and I paid for the entire fucking thing it was almost 150$. Don’t worry she got me an xbox gift card though……..
But the worst part, beyond not seeing each other was how she treated me and made me feel. In the beginning she was very nice and kind, but slowly I think her true colours came out. She’s very smart, but she needs to be right all the time. Like literally every single conversation she needs to come out as right. I was never allowed to have my own opinions, she would make me feel stupid and correct me every time. I’m a bit of a goof and like to be silly, but she would look at me like I was an idiot, if I did a pretend British accent she would criticize it and tell me to stop. In the end I felt like a shell of myself. I was terrified to say something stupid. She would call out every single thing I did, if I merged a lane early while driving, called out (that actually happened). If I wiped my mouth after every bite, called out. If I said something she would have to google it to prove she was right or at least prove that I was wrong.
I would participate in her family activities, like birthdays and holidays. Side note: her family is lovely. I got especially close with her mom. Her mother is a sweetheart, a lovely human being and she treated me better than her daughter ever did. Her mom and I even snap chatted every day. M wouldn’t open my snaps for days and I could see when she was online. As weird as it might seem, I would have rather hung out with her mom than her. There were a couple times when we were with her mom, that M would call me out on something trivial and even her own mother was picking up on the vibes.
I had convinced myself I really liked this person, once I told her I loved her. Why, I’ll never know. She responded with “thanks, I’m not there yet but thanks for telling me.” I was gutted. I didn’t love her. I never did. In the end I hated her.
I would lie to my friends about her and say I was happy, my mom liked her which was the worst part because it would break her heart if she knew how I was feeling and being treated. I would make it seem like I was happy and she was this lovely person, but deep down I was dying. Towards the end of our relationship I was hanging out with a good friend of mine and someone who helped me a lot through my journey of accepting my identity as a lesbian. She asked me about my relationship and how it was going, and I honestly couldn’t say anything positive. This was the first time I was honest with someone in my life about how unhappy I was and I wasn’t sure how to process it.
Eventually she broke up with me; she said she felt like she made me nervous and that I cared about her more than she cared about me. Initially it hurt, and I felt bad. But after an hour, I wanted to do a freaking backflip. I was elated to be free. For the past 2 years I had felt like less of myself than I had ever been. It was the worst 2 years mentally of my life. I had twisted myself up into this sheepish person who just felt lucky to be chosen by someone. My self worth was so low that I thought this was the relationship I deserved, that I would never find anyone else and I should just be grateful that she chose me.
As the title says I’m still trying to recover and heal. It’s been about 9 months since I last saw her and I’m working on myself. That relationship showed me how compromised my mental health was and that I need to take care of myself. I have been seeing a therapist. Now don’t get me wrong I have struggled with mental health my entire life, but those 2 years were the worst of it. I’m not dating right now because I want to focus on myself and my personal goals first.
I’m still embarrassed for how the relationship went and that I let her treat me. If anything I learned a lot from this relationship.
If you have made it this far props to you because this was kind of a hot mess and wayyy too long. But it’s been bothering me even more lately and I guess I just felt like this might help. Even if no one reads it.
She didn’t want a relationship, I don’t know what she wanted. She used school as a buffer to limit the amount she saw me. I feel bad for the next person she dates and I hope they come to their senses quicker than I did. I deleted her off everything and I hope to never see her again. In closing, I fucking hate her guts.
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2024.05.14 18:09 Designer_Band_1052 Having a hard time between letting go and facing my fear of rejection to try again with her

This might be long, but i dont have anyone to talk to so if even one person reads this and helps i'll be super grateful!
Basically, had this “situationship” last November. Me and her were best friends in high school and were in like a 1.5 year talking stage lol, we never confessed feelings and eventually I told myself I had to move on from her bc I didn’t think it was ever gonna go anywhere. Fast forward to my junior year of college and her sophomore year, she had broken up with her bf (late October, a couple weeks before we started talking talking) and we had been in some contact the past few months. She drunk texted me the night she broke up with him and confessed how much she liked me in high school and it just sucked we never confessed feelings bc we would’ve been perfect together.
A couple weeks after all that, we’re on thanksgiving break and we hang out. We then talk about that in person, about how we would’ve been perfect for each other and we should’ve just confessed feelings, etc. Our next hangout, I decided that we shouldn’t talk right now. She had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and I had to study for my dental school admissions test. We would also be long distance, and I could sense how insecure she was in herself due to her past relationship, and she def needed time to be alone. I told her that, and she agreed. We agreed to try again after my Test, which would’ve been 3 months from then. Butttt then we eventually we kissed lol…
That led to us still talking and this was a topic of conversation like every couple of days. We would agree to not talk anymore and try again after my test, but then we would both fold and still talk. Winter break came around, and we said we’ll continue to talk and hang out until winter break ends. We’re with each other every night, she’s telling her friends about me and all her friends love me too. They all made an effort to meet me and they say I’m perfect for her. However, her ex would still hit her up, but she would show me everytime she rejected him so. Although, there was this one night they saw each other to talk and she said "i dont make any promises nothing wont happen btwn us" and that made me so scared, but nothing happened so ig its okay...??? Anyways, My hope was that by the time winter break ends, she’ll see we're good for each other and we can give it a chance, but she was still set on wanting to be single and heal from her last relationship, which I understand.
The night before winter break ended, I went over to her apartment. We basically did everything but have sex. She wanted to but I didn’t want her to get attached, and I didn’t wanna get attached myself so I told her we shouldn’t bc we were gonna be in no contact after this. She understood, but it was still one of the greatest nights of my life. I was finally with the girl I wanted to be with, and it just sucked we had to stop talking after this.
2 days after we're both back in school, she drunk texted me saying how much she missed me. So ofc we talked again that day. Next night, she drunk called me this time...She was talking about how i am her person, she sees herself falling in love with me and marrying me, and all this sorta stuff. She then told me "i dont think im good enough for you" this completely shattered my heart, no matter how much i told her thats not true and that shes perfect for me, she wouldnt agree. this confirmed that shes too insecure in herself to be in a relationship. After this, i wanted to talk to her sober about what she said, but she didnt want to. then she said we shouldnt wait for each other to try again after my test because she said she felt pressured to wait for me to be done...this made me so frustrated bc we agreed to try again every time we talked about this. Anyways, her bday was coming up, so i texted her friend to get her flowers on her actual bday and not tell her its from me (i had already gotten her flowers and a buncha gifts the night i went to her apartment) and she said she would. On her bday, i texted her and she just said "thanks" The combination of this and her bailing on the plan to try again after my test made me super frustrated. So that friend had asked me what happened btwn us and i kinda was in a rough place, so i told her that i dont think anything is ever gonna happen btwn us bc of the way things ended and all this tainted my image of her. I regret this so much. A couple weeks later, her friend texts me again to check in and i apologize to her friend about all the things i said, and i told the friend to tell her i am so sorry about it and i didnt mean any of it.
Okay, so throughout this semester, she texted me every now and then, wishing me happy bday and sometimes just asking me random stuff about school. After my test was done, which i did well on thankfully lol, she asked me how it went and i told her and stuff, but the convo never advanced. Now, I am stuck btwn wanting to ask her to hang out to try again or letting go of her and let fate bring us back together. Idk if she wants to hang out with me or not and its killing me. I feel like i completely ruined my chance with her bc of what i told her friend and its created a pit in my stomach. She def seems more confident and secure in herself bc shes finally posting on social media and stuff like that, which makes me so happy for her. Idk im just stuck. My fear is that she'll say no to hanging out, but i feel like if i never ask her then i'll never know. Like what if i ask her and shes willing to give it another chance, i wouldnt know if i didnt ask her ya know.
T; dr Do i let go of her and improve myself as much as possible and let destiny bring us back to each other like it did the first time, or make an effort to try again with her, with the fear of being rejected from the girl i've always wanted to be with?
submitted by Designer_Band_1052 to relationships_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:08 t_urbulent should I [21F] break up with my boyfriend [20M]?

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now.
Lately I've been kinda jealous of my friends who have had experiences with different people, from random make out sessions to full on sex. I've only kissed two people in my life and only had sex with my partner.
Like for example, I am bi and never experienced anything with a girl and I would like to.
I feel like I'm tied up in a relationship where I'm not even having much fun rn.
I've been thinking about it only for a few days now, but it makes me act completely different around him ( because I wouldn't like to act as if nothing was happening and just randomly break up with him one day, but I also don't wanna act weird to end up not breaking the relationship).
Maybe the best thing would be to break up, but he's always saying how in love he is with me, and I feel like I am not anymore. Like, I love him, but I would say more as a best friend or family, I lost that spark some time ago. But the thing is that it's not that easy because we're in the same class and we share all of our uni friends, and we got over so many things together.
And also, last year around this time I broke up with him for some time because I was feeling so much pressure around having sex (Ive been very low libido for like 1,5 years now) even though he didn't push me that much. I felt like it was the best for my mental state, but turns out it broke me and I was sad everyday and stuff, so we ended up coming back, but every other day I wish I hadnt.
Also, I haven't been able to have piv sex for like +6 months now??? Idk if it has to do with this too.
This is my first long term relationship and I feel like this is normal and it's not bad to break up, but I don't wanna hurt him but I dont wanna hurt me either...
I don't wanna jump to conclusions because I think part of this comes because of the stress I have right now because of the soon to come final projects and exams. And because we're in the same class we see each other every day and that's not helping me much.
And before you suggest it, no, I wouldn't like an open relationship
Thanks in advance for your advice!
submitted by t_urbulent to relationships_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:08 Mophandel Archaeotherium, the King of the White River Badlands

Archaeotherium, the King of the White River Badlands
Art by Bob Nicholls
Nowadays, when we envision the words “prey,” among modern mammalian fauna, few taxa come to mind as quickly as the hoofed mammals, better known as the ungulates. Indeed, for the better part of their entire evolutionary history, the ungulates have become entirely indistinguishable from the term “prey.” Across their two major modern branches, the artiodactyls (the “even-toed ungulates,” such as bovids, pigs, deer, hippos and giraffes) and the perissodactyls (the “odd-toed ungulates,” including horses, rhinos and tapir), the ungulates too have created an empire spanning nearly every continent, establishing themselves as the the dominant herbivores throughout their entire range. However, as a price for such success, their lot as herbivores have forced them into an unenviable position: being the food for the predators. Indeed, throughout the diets of most modern predators, ungulates make up the majority, if not the entirety, of their diet, becoming their counterparts in this evolutionary dance of theirs. They have become the lamb to their wolf, the zebra to their lion, the stag to their tiger. If there is a predator in need of lunch, chances are that there is an ungulate there to provide it. Of course, such a dynamic is not necessarily a recent innovation. For the last 15-20 million years, across much of the world, both new and old, the ungulates have served as prey for these predators through it all. Over the course of whole epochs, these two groups have played into these roles for millions of years, coevolving with each other in an eons-long game of cat-and-mouse. The shoes they fill are not new, but have existed for ages, and within their niches they have cultivated their roles to perfection. Indeed, with such a tenured history, it seems hardly surprising the ungulates are wholly inseparable from the terms “prey,” itself.
However, while this is the case now, as it has been for the last 15-20 million years, go back far enough, and we see that this dynamic is not as set in stone as we would think. Indeed, back during the Eocene and Oligocene, during the very earliest days of age of mammals, things were very different for the ungulates. While today they are considered little more than food for modern predators, during these olden days, the ungulates weren’t quite so benign. In fact, far from being fodder for top predators, the ungulates had turned the tables, instead becoming top predators themselves. Indeed, though nearly unheard of today, throughout much of the Eocene and Oligocene, carnivorous ungulates thrived in abundance, developing specializations for catching large prey and establishing themselves as top predators that competed alongside the more traditional carnivores, and even dominating them in some instances. Given such success, it’s no wonder that multiple such clades had arisen during this time. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of (ironically) hoof-less ungulates with large jaws and sharp teeth for capturing large prey. There were also the mesonychians, a lineage of dog-like ungulates with massive skulls and jaws that allowed them to reign as the top predator across much of the Eocene.
However, among these various lineages, one stands stands out among the rest, by far. Arising during the Eocene, this lineage, though superficially resembling modern pigs, hailed from one an ancient lineage of artiodactyls far removed from swine or most other ungulates in general, with few close relatives alive today. Through perhaps not the most predatory of the bunch, it was among the most formidable, as their superficially pig-like appearance came with giant predatory jaws and teeth unlike anything from the modern era. And of course, as if all of that wasn’t enough, this lineage also went on to earn arguably one of the most badass nicknames of any lineage of mammals, period. These predators, of course, were the entelodonts, a.k.a the “hell-pigs.” More so than any other predatory ungulate lineage, these formidable ungulates were the ones to turn the current paradigm upside down, becoming some of the largest and most dominant carnivores in their landscape, even with (and often in spite of) the presence of more traditional predators. Through impressive size, fearsome teeth and sheer tenacity, these animals became the top dogs of their time, ruling as behemoth-kings of their Paleogene kingdoms, domineering all comers, and throughout the ranks, one entelodont in particular demonstrated such dominance the best. Though not the largest or most powerful of their kind, it is one of the most iconic, being among the most well-known members of its lineage to date. Moreover, this enteledont also has some of the most complete life histories ever seen out of this clade, with its brutality and predatory prowess being displayed in the fossil record in a way seen in no other member of its kind. More than anything else, however, it was this predator that best turned the notion of “ungulates being prey” on its head, living in an environment that bore some of the largest carnivoran hypercarnivores to date and still reigning as the undisputed top predator of its domain. This fearsome beast was none other than Archaeotherium, icon of the entelodonts, terror of the Oligocene American west and undisputed king of the White River badlands.
The rise of Archaeotherium (and of entelodonts in general) is closely tied to the ascendancy of carnivorous ungulates as a whole, one of the earliest evolutionary success stories of the entire Cenozoic. Having become their own derived clade since the late Cretaceous, the ungulates were remarkably successful during the early Paleogene, as they were among the first mammalian clades to reach large sizes during those early days after the non-avian dinosaurs had gone extinct. As such, it was with incredible swiftness that, as the Paleogene progressed, the ungulates swooped upon the various niches left empty by the K-Pg mass extinction that killed the dinosaurs. This of course included the herbivorous niches we would know them for today, but this also included other, much more carnivore roles. Indeed, early on during the Paleogene, it was the ungulates that first seized the roles of large mammalian predators, becoming some the earliest large mammalian carnivores to ever live, well before even the carnivorans. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of vaguely dog-like, hoof-less ungulates with robust jaws and sharpened teeth that acted as some of earliest large carnivores of the Paleocene, with genera such as Arctocyon mumak getting up to the size of big cats. Even more prolific were the mesonychids. More so than what pretty much any other lineage of predator, it was the mesonychids that would stand out as the earliest dominant predators of the early Cenozoic. Growing up to the size of bears and with enormous, bone-crushing jaws, the mesonychids were among the most powerful and successful predators on the market at that time, with a near-global range and being capable of subjugating just about any other predator in their environments. Indeed, they, along with other carnivorous ungulates (as well as ungulates in general), were experiencing a golden age during this time, easily being the most prolific predators of the age. Given such prevalence, it should be no surprise that there would be yet another lineage of predatory ungulates would throw their hat into the ring, and by early Eocene, that contender would none other than the entelodonts.
The very first entelodonts had arisen from artiodactyl ancestors during the Eocene epoch, at a time when artiodactyls were far more diverse and bizarre than they are now. Through today known from their modern herbivorous representatives such as bovines, deer, and antelope, during the Paleocene and Eocene, the artiodacyls, as with most ungulates of that time, were stronger and far more predaceous, particularly when it came to one such clade of artiodactyls, the cetacodontamorphs. Only known today from hippos and another group of artiodactyls (one which will become relevant later), the cetacodantomorphs emerged out of Asia around 55 million years ago, at around the same time that artiodactyls themselves had made their debut. These animals included the first truly predatory artiodactyls, with many of them possessing large skulls with powerful jaws and sharp, predatory teeth. Among their ranks included animals as puny as Indohyus, a piscivorous artiodactyl the size of a cat, to as formidable as Andrewsarchus, a giant, bison-sized predator often touted as one of the largest predatory mammals to ever live. Given such a predatory disposition, it wouldn’t be long until this clade produced a lineage of truly diverse, truly successful predators, and by around 40 million years ago, that is exactly what they did, as it was at that time that the entelodonts themselves first emerged. From their Asian homeland, the entelodonts spread across the world, spreading through not only most of Eurasia but also colonizing North America as well, with genera such as Brachyhyops being found across both continents. Here, in this North American frontier, the entelodonts began to diversify further, turning into their most successful and formidable forms yet, and it was around the late Eocene and early Oligocene that Archaeotherium itself had entered the scene.
Just from a passing glance at Archaeotherium, it is clear how exactly it (as well as the other entelodonts) earned the nickname of “hell-pigs.” It was a bruiser for starters; its body bore a robust, pig-like physique, with prominent neural spines and their associated musculature forming a hump around the shoulder region, similar to the hump of a bison. With such a bulky physique came with it impressive size; the average A. mortoni had a head-body length of roughly 1.6-2.0 m (5.3-6.6 ft), a shoulder height of 1.2 m (4 ft) and a body mass of around 180 kg (396 lb) in weight (Boardman & Secord, 2013; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes, an adult Archaeotherium the size of a large male black bear. However, they had the potential to get even bigger. While most Archaeotherium specimens were around the size described above, a select few specimens, labeled under the synonymous genus “Megachoerus,” are found to be much larger, with skulls getting up to 66% longer than average A. mortoni specimens (Foss, 2001; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes and using isometric scaling, such massive Archaeotherium specimens would attained body lengths over 2.5 m (8.2 ft) and would have reached weighs well over 500 kg (1100 lb), or as big as a mature male polar bear. Indeed, at such sizes, it is already abundantly evident that Archaeotherium is a force to be recorded with.
However, there was more to these formidable animals than sheer size alone. Behind all that bulk was an astoundingly swift and graceful predator, especially in terms of locomotion. Indeed, the hoofed feet of Archaeotherium, along with other entelodonts, sported several adaptations that gave it incredible locomotive efficiency, essentially turning it into a speed demon of the badlands. Such adaptations include longer distal leg elements (e.g. the radius and tibia) than their proximal counterparts (e.g. the humerus and femur), fusion of the radius and ulna for increased running efficiency, the loss of the clavicle (collar-bone) to allow for greater leg length, the loss of the acromion to enhance leg movement along the fore-and-aft plane, the loss of digits to reduce the mass of the forelimb, the fusion of the ectocuneiform and the mesocuneiform wrist-bones, among many other such traits (Theodore, 1996) . Perhaps most significant of these adaptations is the evolution of the “double-pulley astragalus (ankle-bone),” a specialized modification of the ankle that, while restricting rotation and side-to-side movement at the ankle-joint, allows for greater rotation in the fore-and-aft direction, thus allowing for more more powerful propulsion from the limbs, faster extension and retraction of the limbs and overall greater locomotive efficiency (Foss, 2001). Of course, such a trait was not only found in entelodonts but in artiodactyls as a whole, likely being a response to predatory pressures from incumbent predatory clades arising at the same time as the artiodactyls (Foss, 2001). However, in the case of the entelodonts, such adaptations were not used for merely escaping predators. Rather, they were used to for another, much more lethal effect…
Such notions are further reinforced by the entelodonts most formidable aspect, none either than their fearsome jaws, and in this respect, Archaeotherium excelled. Both for its size and in general, the head of Archaeotherium was massive, measuring 40-50 cm (1.3-1.6 ft) in length among average A. mortoni specimens, to up to 78 cm (~2.6 ft) in the larger “Megachoerus” specimens (Joeckel, 1990). Such massive skulls were supported and supplemented by equally massive neck muscles and ligaments, which attached to massive neural spines on the anterior thoracic vertebrae akin to a bisons hump as well as to the sternum, allowing Archaeotherium to keep its head aloft despite the skulls massive size (Effinger, 1998). Of course, with such a massive skull, it should come as no surprise that such skulls housed exceptionally formidable jaws as well, and indeed, the bite of Archaeotherium was an especially deadly one. Its zygomatic arches (cheek-bones) and its temporal fossa were enlarged and expanded, indicative of massive temporalis muscles that afforded Archaeotherium astoundingly powerful bites (Joeckel, 1990). This is further augmented by Archaeotherium’s massive jugal flanges (bony projections of the cheek), which supported powerful masseter muscles which enhanced chewing and mastication, as well as an enlarged postorbital bar that reinforced the skull against torsional stresses (Foss, 2001). Last but not least, powerful jaws are supplemented by an enlarged gape, facilitated by a low coronoid process and enlarged posterior mandibular tubercles (bony projections originating from the lower jaw), which provided an insertion site for sternum-to-mandible jaw abduction muscles, allowing for a more forceful opening of the jaw (Foss, 2001). All together, such traits suggest a massive and incredibly fearsome bite, perhaps the most formidable of any animal in its environment.
Of course, none of such traits are especially indicative of a predatory lifestyle. Indeed, many modern non-predatory ungulates, like hippos, pigs and peccaries, also possess large, formidable skulls and jaws. However, in peeling back the layers, it is found there was more to the skull of Archaeotherium that lies in store. Indeed, when inspecting the animal closely, a unique mosaic of features is revealed; traits that make it out to be much more lethal than the average artiodactyl. On one hand, Archaeotherium possessed many traits similar to those of herbivores animals, as is expected of ungulates. For instance, its jaw musculature that allowed the lower jaw of Archaeotherium a full side-to-side chewing motion as in herbivores (whereas most carnivores can only move their lower jaw up and down)(Effinger, 1998). On the other hand, Archaeotherium wielded many other traits far more lethal in their morphology, less akin to a herbivore and far more akin to a bonafide predator. For instance, the aforementioned enlarged gape of Archaeotherium is a bizarre trait on a supposed herbivore, as such animals do not need large gapes to eat vegetation and thus have smaller, more restricted gapes. Conversely, many predatory lineages have comparatively large gapes, as larger gapes allow for the the jaws to grab on to more effectively larger objects, namely large prey animals (Joeckel, 1990).
Such a juxtaposition, however, is most evident when discussing the real killing instruments of Archaeotherium — the teeth. More so than any facet of this animal, the teeth of Archaeotherium are the real stars of the show, showing both how alike it was compared to its herbivores counterparts and more importantly, how it couldn’t be more different. For instance, the molars of Archaeotherium were quite similar to modern herbivores ungulates, in that they were robust, bunodont, and were designed for crushing and grinding, similar in form and function to modern ungulates like peccaries (Joeckel, 1990). However, while the molars give the impression that Archaeotherium was a herbivore, the other teeth tell a very different story. The incisors, for example, were enlarged, sharpened, and fully interlocked (as opposed to the flat-topped incisors seen in herbivores ungulates), creating an incisor array that was seemingly ill-suited for cropping vegetation and much more adept at for gripping, puncturing and cutting (Joeckel, 1990). Even more formidable were the canines. Like the modern pigs from which entelodonts derived their nicknames, the canines of Archaeotherium were sharp and enlarged to form prominent tusk-like teeth, but unlike pigs, they were rounded in cross-section (similar to modern carnivores like big cats, indicating more durable canines that can absorb and resist torsional forces, such as those from struggling prey) and were serrated to form a distinct cutting edge (Effinger, 1998; Joeckel, 1990; Ruff & Van Valkenburgh, 1987). These canines, along with the incisors, interlock to stabilize the jaws while biting and dismantling in a carnivore-like fashion. More strikingly, the canines also seem to act as “occlusal guides,” wherein the canines help align the movement and position of the rear teeth as they come together, allowing for a more efficient shearing action by the rear teeth. This function is seen most prevalently modern carnivorous mammals, and is evidenced by the canine tooth-wear, which is also analogous to modern predators like bears and canids (Joeckel, 1990). Indeed, going off such teeth alone, it is clear that Archaeotherium is far more predatory than expected of an ungulate. However, the real stars of the show, the teeth that truly betray the predatory nature of these ungulates, are the premolars. Perhaps the most carnivore-like teeth in the entelodont’s entire tooth row, the premolars of Archaeotherium, particularly the anterior premolars, are laterally compressed, somewhat conical in shape, and are weakly serrated to bear a cutting edge, giving them a somewhat carnivorous form and function of shearing and slicing (Effinger, 1998). Most strikingly of all, the premolars of Archaeotherium bear unique features similar not to modern herbivores, but to durophagous carnivores like hyenas, particularly apical wear patterns, highly thickened enamel, “zigzag-shaped” enamel prism layers (Hunter-Schraeger bands) on the premolars which is also seen in osteophagous animals like hyenas, and an interlocking premolar interface wherein linear objects (such as bones) inserted into jaws from the side would be pinned between the premolars and crushed (Foss, 2001). Taken together, these features do not suggest a diet of grass or vegetation like other ungulates. Rather, they suggest a far more violent diet, one including flesh as well as hard, durable foods, particularly bone. All in all, the evidence is clear. Archaeotherium and other entelodonts, unlike the rest of their artiodactyl kin, were not the passive herbivores as we envision ungulates today. Rather, they were willing, unrepentant meat-eaters that had a taste for flesh as well as foliage.
Of course, even with such lines of evidence, its hard to conclude that Archaeotherium was a true predator. After all, its wide gape and durophagous teeth could have just as easily been used for scavenging or even to eat tough plant matter such as seeds or nuts, as in peccaries and pigs, which themselves share many of the same adaptations as Archaeotherium, include the more carnivorous ones (e.g. the wide gape, using the canines as an occlusal guide, etc.). How exactly do we know that these things were veritable predators and not pretenders to the title. To this end, there is yet one last piece of evidence, one that puts on full display the predatory prowess of Archaeotheriumevidence of a kill itself. Found within oligocene-aged sediment in what is now Wyoming, a collection of various fossil remains was found, each belonging to the ancient sheep-sized camel Poebrotherium, with many of the skeletal remains being disarticulated and even missing whole hindlimbs or even entire rear halves of their body. Tellingly, many of the remains bear extensive bite marks and puncture wounds across their surface. Upon close examination, the spacing and size of the punctures leave only one culprit: Archaeotherium. Of course, such an event could still have been scavenging; the entelodonts were consuming the remains of already dead, decomposed camels, explaining the bite marks. What was far more telling, however, was where the bite marks were found. In addition bite marks being found on the torso and lumbar regions of the camels, various puncture wounds were found on the skull and neck, which were otherwise uneaten. Scavengers rarely feast on the head to begin with; there is very little worthwhile meat on it besides the brain, cheek-muscles and eyes, and even if they did feed on the skull and neck, they would still eat it wholesale, not merely bite it and then leave it otherwise untouched. Indeed, it was clear that this was no mere scavenging event. Rather than merely consuming these camels, Archaeotherium was actively preying upon and killing them, dispatching them via a crushing bite to the skull or neck before dismembering and even bisecting the hapless camels with their powerful jaws to preferentially feast on their hindquarters (likely by swallowing the hindquarters whole, as the pelvis of Poebrotherium was coincidentally the perfect width for Archaeotherium to devour whole), eventually discarding the leftovers in meat caches for later consumption (Sundell, 1999). With this finding, such a feat of brutality leaves no doubt in ones mind as to what the true nature of Archaeotherium was. This was no herbivore, nor was it a simple scavenger. This was an active, rapacious predator, the most powerful in its entire ecosystem.
Indeed, with such brutal evidence of predation frozen in time, combined with various dental, cranial, and post cranial adaptations of this formidable animal, it’s possible to paint a picture of how this formidable creature lived. Though an omnivore by trade, willing and able to feast on plant matter such as grass, roots and tubers, Archaeotherium was also a wanton predator that took just about any prey it wanted. Upon detecting its prey, it approached its vicim from ambush before launching itself at blazing speed. From there, its cursorial, hoofed legs, used by other ungulates for escape predation, were here employed to capture prey, carrying it at great speeds as it caught up to its quarry. Having closed the distance with its target, it was then that the entelodont brought its jaws to bear, grabbing hold of the victim with powerful jaws and gripping teeth to bring it to a screeching halt. If the victim is lucky, Archaeotherium will then kill it quickly with a crushing bite to the skull or neck, puncturing the brain or spinal cord and killing its target instantly. If not, the victim is eaten alive, torn apart while it’s still kicking, as modern boars will do today. In any case, incapacitated prey are subsequently dismantled, with the entelodont using its entire head and heavily-muscled necks to bite into and pull apart its victim in devastating “puncture-and pull’ bites (Foss, 2001). Prey would then finally be consumed starting at the hindquarters, with not even the bones of its prey being spared. Such brutality, though far from clean, drove home a singular truth: that during this time, ungulates were not just prey, that they were not the mere “predator-fodder” we know them as today. rather, they themselves were the predators themselves, dominating as superb hunters within their domain and even suppressing clades we know as predators today, least of all the carnivorans. Indeed, during this point in time, the age of the carnivorous ungulates had hit their stride, and more specifically, the age of entelodonts had begun.
Of course, more so than any other entelodont, Archaeotherium took to this new age with gusto. Archaeotherium lived from 35-28 million years ago during the late Eocene and early Oligocene in a locality known today as the White River Badlands, a fossil locality nestled along the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains. Though a chalky, barren landscape today, during the time of Archaeotherium, the White River Badlands was a swamp-like floodplain crisscrossed with rivers and interspersed with by a mosaic of forests concentrated around waterways, open woodlands and open plains. As with most ecosystems with such a lush disposition, this locale teemed with life, with ancient hornless rhinos, small horse-like hyracodonts and early camels roaming the open habitats while giant brontotheres, small early horses and strange, sheep-like ungulates called merycoidodonts (also known as “oreodonts”) dwelled within the dense forests. Within this locale, Archaeotherium stalked the open woodlands and riparian forests of its domain. Here, it acted as a dominant predator and scavenger across is territory, filling a niche similar to modern grizzly bears but far more predatory. Among its preferred food items would be plant matter such as roots, foliage and nuts, but also meat in the form of carrion or freshly caught prey. In this respect, smaller ungulates such as the fleet-footed camel Poebrotherium, a known prey item of Archaeotherium, would have made a for choice prey, as its small size would make it easy for Archaeotherium to dispatch with its powerful jaws, while the entelodonts swift legs gave it the speed necessary to keep pace with its agile prey.
However, the entelodont didn’t have such a feast all to itself. Just as the badlands teemed with herbivores, so too did it teem with rival predators. Among their ranks included fearsome predators such as Hyaenodon, a powerful, vaguely dog-like predator up to the size of wolves (as in H. horridus) or even lions (as in the Eocene-aged H. megaloides, which was replaced by H. horridus during the Oligocene). Armed with a massive head, fierce jaws and a set of knife-like teeth that could cut down even large prey in seconds, these were some of the most formidable predators on the landscape. There were also the nimravids, cat-like carnivorans that bore saber-teeth to kill large prey in seconds, and included the likes of the lynx-sized Dinictis, the leopard-sized Hoplophoneus and even the jaguar-sized Eusmilus. Furthermore, there were amphicyonids, better known as the bear-dogs. Though known from much larger forms later on in their existence, during the late Eocene and Oligocene, they were much smaller and acted as the “canid-analogues” of the ecosystem, filling a role similar to wolves or coyotes. Last but not least, there were the bathornithid birds, huge cariamiform birds related to modern seriemas but much larger, which filled a niche similar to modern seriemas or secretary birds, albeit on a much larger scale. Given such competition, it would seem that Archaeotherium would have its hands full. However, things are not as they appear. For starters, habitat differences would mitigate high amounts of competition, as both Hyaenodon and the various nimravids occupy more specialized ecological roles (being a plains-specialist and forest-specialist, respectively) than did Archaeotherium, providing a buffer to stave off competition: More importantly, however, none of the aforementioned predators were simply big enough to take Archaeotherium on. During the roughly 7 million years existence of Archaeotherium, the only carnivore that matched it in size was H. megaloides, and even that would have an only applied to average A. mortoni individuals, not to the much larger, bison-sized “Megachoerus” individuals. The next largest predator at that point would be the jaguars-sized Eusmilus (specifically E. adelos) which would have only been a bit more than half the size of even an average A. mortoni. Besides that, virtually every other predator on the landscape was simply outclassed by the much larger entelodont in terms of size and brute strength. As such, within its domain, Archaeotherium had total, unquestioned authority, dominating the other predators in the landscape and likely stealing their kills as well. In fact, just about the only threat Archaeotherium had was other Archaeotherium, as fossil bite marks suggest that this animal regularly and fraglantly engaged in intraspecific combat, usually through face-biting and possibly even jaw-wrestling (Effinger, 1998; Tanke & Currie, 1998). Nevertheless, it was clear that Archaeotherium was the undisputed king of the badlands; in a landscape of hyaenodonts and carnivorans galore, it was a hoofed ungulate that reigned supreme.
However, such a reign would not last. As the Eocene transitioned into the Eocene, the planet underwent an abrupt cooling and drying phase known as Eocene-Oligocene Transition or more simply the Grande Coupure. This change in climate would eliminate the sprawling wetlands and river systems that Archaeotherium had been depending on, gradually replacing it with drier and more open habitats. To its credit, Archaeotherium did manage to hang on, persisting well after the Grand-Coupure had taken place, but in the end the damage had been done; Archaeotherium was a dead-man-walking. Eventually, by around 28 million years ago, Archaeotherium would go extinct, perishing due to this change in global climate (Gillham, 2019). Entelodonts as a whole would persist into the Miocene, producing some of their largest forms ever known in the form of the bison-sized Daeodon (which was itself even more carnivorous than Archaeotherium), however they too would meet the same fate as their earlier cousins. By around 15-20 million years ago, entelodonts as a whole would go extinct. However, while the entelodonts may have perished, this was not the end of carnivorous ungulates as a whole. Recall that the cetacodontamorphs, the lineage of artiodactyls that produced the entelodonts, left behind two living descendants. The first among them were the hippos, themselves fairly frequent herbivores. The second of such lineage, however, was a different story. Emerging out of South Asia, this lineage of piscivorous cetacodontamorphs, in a an attempt to further specialize for the fish-hunting lifestyle, began to delve further and further into the water, becoming more and more aquatic and the millennia passed by. At a certain point, these carnivorous artiodactlys had become something completely unrecognizable from their original hoofed forms. Their skin became hairless and their bodies became streamlined for life in water. Their hoofed limbs grew into giant flippers for steering in the water and their previously tiny tails became massive and sported giant tail flukes for aquatic propulsion. Their noses even moved to the tip of their head, becoming a blowhole that would be signature to this clade as a whole. Indeed, this clade was none other than the modern whales, themselves derived, carnivorous ungulates that had specialized for a life in the water, and in doing so, became the some of the most dominant aquatic predators across the globe for millions of years. Indeed, though long gone, the legacy of the entelodonts and of predatory ungulates as a whole, a legacy Archaeotherium itself had helped foster, lives on in these paragons of predatory prowess, showing that the ungulates are more than just the mere “prey” that they are often made out to be. Moreover, given the success that carnivorous ungulates had enjoyed in the past and given how modern omnivorous ungulates like boar dabble in predation themselves, perhaps, in the distant future, this planet may see the rise of carnivorous ungulates once again, following in the footsteps left behind by Archaeotherium and the other predatory ungulates all those millions of years ago.
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2024.05.14 18:08 JessieWinter Is my [23F] boyfriend [23M] still in love with his ex? Am I the rebound?

My boyfriend and I met in December 2023, started dating February 2024, and have now been together for almost 3 months. We live three hours away but see each other 2-5 times a month and call every day.
In January 2023, both my boyfriend and I went through long term breakups with our first loves. I had been with my ex boyfriend for 3 years, and he had been with his ex girlfriend on & off for 4 years.
When they were broken up, he was still very much obsessed with her. He would date and sleep with other people, but never seriously. He would leave relationships for her and block people once she would tell him she wants him back.
Their relationship was a toxic, vicious cycle that neither could break. But she was always the one that had the most power over him and would initiate all the breakups, while he would come back to her any time she was done dating other people for a little while. The final time she came back, he even proposed to her and they were engaged for a few months.
My past relationship, on the other hand, was a consistent one, and I didn’t have much dating experience after we broke up. My current boyfriend is my second relationship ever, so I’m still learning how to love someone while we both have pasts.
He acts obsessed with me. Super in love, always taking pictures of me and posting me on his social medias, spending so much money to visit me, calling me every night, making a private couple Instagram devoted to our pictures, but still brings up his ex a lot. We both had that problem a bit, but I slowly stopped doing it as often when I realized it wasn’t healthy. However, he always compares me to her. “() would do this.” “() liked this kind of music.”
Well in March, after a year of no contact between them, she (like always based on what he said) finally texted him just to see where he lived now and tell him she’s back in their hometown, asking how he is. He told me they had a short texting convo. I was a little jealous, but since he told me about it and it seemed small and short, I didn’t think too deeply. But it sent him into days worth of a spiral thinking about it. I tried not to bring it up too much.
Then one time in April, he got super depressed and wouldn’t tell me anything. I figured it was about his ex, as he still seems sad about her sometimes and talks so often about her. He got so bad that he drove the 6 hours back to his hometown where his parents live, took days off of work, which is also where she’s from and they met, and stayed with his parents.
I was dumb and suggested that he calls her to finally get some closure. He didn’t tell me if he would or not, until a week later after he was a bit himself again, he confirmed they talked but said “it’s just between me and her.” I said okay and didn’t bring it up even though it bothered me to know what the talked about.
We’ve been doing good since then, but he gets REALLY jealous of me talking with any guys at all. Like REALLY jealous. He likes to look through my phone and read my messages sometimes, which I don’t mind bc I have nothing to hide. But he don’t let me see his. Then two weeks ago, I got curious to see if he did really meet with his ex, and I saw the dreaded messages when he was sleeping (I know, it’s not good but I had suspicions).
During that time he was depressed, they didn’t call but he asked if they could meet in person. It seemed like she was really distant and not interested before or after their meeting, but he texted her things after they met up like, “I would’ve really regret if I didn’t get to see you before going to work abroad for 3 months.” And, “Are you sure you don’t have any feelings for me?”and, “I could never hate you, why would you think that? Please talk to me, I want to hear how you’re feeling.”
I tried to silently leave his apartment while he was asleep, but he woke up and cried, begging me to stay and that he’s over her, he loves me, he just needed closure to confirm she doesn’t have feelings for him so he can move on.
But it hurt me that he needed to know she doesn’t have feelings before he could continue a relationship with me. It makes me feel like if she wasn’t so distant and did have feelings, he would’ve left me immediately. I feel like a placeholder.
He also never told her about me, and told me that the reason he’s taking a work trip abroad for 3 months is because she always comes back in the summer and is scared she’s gonna final his new city and address and he won’t be able to turn her away. That was his explanation while crying to me and begging me to stay. And I said, “So the reason I’m losing my boyfriend for 3 months is because you think your ex will come back again like usual, find your new address, and you won’t be able to say no?”
It caused a huge fight, him sending her a message saying he’s with someone new now and loves me, wants to be with me, and is saying goodbye to their relationship forever.
But then after saying he blocked her, I saw a few days ago he didn’t and only hid her chat. He also sent her contact to a no name social media account that I think is his second account so that he has another way to contact her when he’s away for three months, but he says it’s not.
He said it’s the account of a friend that liked her while he was dating her and wanted to get with her if they ever broke up, so he sent her contact to this friend (which is still weird). But there’s no call or chat history with this friend. Just her contact.
So I’m wondering, should I break up with him? Is he still attached to his ex and I’m the idiot rebound?
submitted by JessieWinter to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:05 redditorwquestions32 My nanny won’t stop trauma dumping in every conversation

Hi everyone - I’d love some advice regarding my nanny situation.
The short version: I recently hired a nanny for my 6 month old, and overall we love her. She’s great with my little one’s care, generally open to our feedback, and just a nice person overall. She has experienced a lot of unimaginable trauma in her life, and I am in awe of her strength. That being said, every conversation we have - including instructions for the baby - somehow gets tied back to the trauma, her parents not loving her, or some other really deep and touchy subject. It’s to a point where it’s hard to have a conversation with her because she’ll talk over what is being said to just talk and talk through her past traumas. And she’ll just keep talking, even when I walk away because I need to work. I fully understand she’s got a lot on her mind, but I just don’t know how to give her the feedback of “it’s a lot”.
The long version: On the first day of the job, 4 hours in, she started crying entirely unprompted and telling me every deep trauma from childhood to now (she’s in her 40s and clearly very troubled by her relationship with her mother, feels unwanted). It stemmed from me asking for help with something and her just equating it to her life. If I’m doing tummy time with my little one and encouraging them, she’ll start talking over me about how her own child never felt such love from their family, issues she’s had with the child’s father, etc. By the end of our first few days together, I felt drained. If I’m showing her how we make our LO’s bottle, she dives into her traumatic births, how her children were overweight at birth, and missed the bottle instructions so I had to repeat them.
I had to leave for work recently and came to say bye to my LO. She started talking over me talking to my LO about how taking care of a baby is easy, but her life has been so hard. She literally stopped and grabbed her forehead and started talking about how hard her life has been… again, talking over us as I’m telling my LO I’m heading out.
Or she asked me recently if we have plans to have other children, I told her we weren’t sure. She used that as a segway into discussing how she couldn’t have children immediately, married her ex husband within a week at 18, and all because her mother didn’t want her in her house anymore. Or if she hears me having a phone conversation with someone in my family, when I hang up she’ll start unpromptedly talking about how her mother is threatening to kick her out of her home and she may be homeless soon, so it is probably nice to have parents who love me.
By the end of the first week, I knew everything from her traumas from age 7 to now, divorce details, her children’s allergies, her extended family’s hospitalizations, etc. I want to have a good relationship with our nanny and know them well, but this is entirely different. If my husband and I mention anything about childcare being difficult (I.e. we had a rough night because the baby didn’t sleep well), it’ll segway into how much harder her life was raising 4 children etc.
She wiped down the baby’s changing station yesterday (which I greatly appreciated) but it then prompted her to also tell us about her previous run in with chemical pneumonia due to expired cleaning products she once used, tied all of that to her father’s lung cancer given their coughs were similar, and just talked for a good 5-6 minutes about that. It ended with her telling us her father died thinking no one loved him… all from the update of the changing table.
Someone else on here has a recent post about how the parents’ words really matter. Given the amount of time our nanny spends around our LO, I think her words really matter as well. We’ve had to talk to her about negative tonality with the baby, which she’s working on fixing. If the baby is hungry, she generally asks if her parents haven’t fed her versus asking if she’s hungry, or if she’s sleepy the nanny would ask hee if we didn’t let her sleep versus asking if she’s sleepy. As the baby grows and develops her own language skills, I let the nanny know I don’t want the baby to associate those remarks with us. She’s working on talking to her differently but I think a lot of it is unfortunately rooted in her own experiences and parental issues.
We love her work and how she cares for our little one, she’s super in tune with the baby’s needs. But the trauma dumping is very draining. I understand wholeheartedly it may not be easy to be her, and everyone needs an outlet, but it’s to the point where that overtakes every and any thing she says or does. I want to give her honest feedback without hurting her feelings - but not sure it’s my place to do so. It’s getting to the point where we are considering interviewing others (but don’t want to). I mean this in the nicest possible way but we hired her to help us out with our child, not to be her built in therapists.
submitted by redditorwquestions32 to Nanny [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:05 stuetel My cousin is having a baby so I made a card

My cousin is having a baby so I made a card
It's been a long time since I've really put effort in making a card, but my cousin is having a baby (it was unexpected but still a happy thing). As soon as they could they figured out the gender, which is a girl. The baby can be born any day now and I looked for some inspiration on Pinterest. I printed the designs I liked and had a vision in my head about how I wanted it to look. But I never quite manage to get what's in my head on paper. This time it worked out though. When you shake the card they pink and white rounds under the bird will move. This is a reference to a Dutch tradition (we are Dutch) that's called 'beschuit met muisjes'. It's aniseed covered in a sugar coating and when it's a girl the 'mice' are white and pink and with a boy they're white and blue on a biscuit with butter. It was quite a hassle because I had to make a little bag from the back of a Ziploc baggy and glued it all together with a biscuit coloured paper behind all the little curled, then covered the inside with the same color paper so you can't really see I did a little trick. On the ribbon on the basket I wanna write 'welcome ___' but she won't give anyone the name yet so that'll have to wait haha. I'm quite proud of it, because this is exactly what I had in my head!
submitted by stuetel to crafts [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:03 Psychics4U_net The Fool Tarot Card Meaning: [The Complete Guide]

This complete guide on The Fool tarot card is brought to you by psychics4u.net. For more valuable information, insights and resources, visit: http://psychics4u.net/
What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:
  1. The fool’s journey tarot card description and symbolism.
  2. Personality traits.
  3. The meaning in love, relationship, money, work, career and health.
  4. Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
  5. Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
  6. How to read the fool’s journey tarot card in upright and reversed position.
  7. The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future.
  8. The meaning of the number 0 (zero) and 22.
  9. Interpretation of astrological zodiac sign.
  10. Meaning as feelings.
  11. The fool tarot card art and history.
The fool tarot card meaning: Description and symbolism
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
Feel free to write your thoughts or questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!
submitted by Psychics4U_net to freepsychicreadings4u [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:02 No_Carrot_9750 Positive for Chlamydia, but in a 3 year committed relationship

Looking for some insight from people who may have had similar experiences.
I(F) have been with my partner(M)for 3 years. There have been no lapses in our relationship where we took breaks and could have had intercourse with other partners. I went to the gyno last week to have my annual exam, and was tested for STIs/STDs for the first time. Yesterday, I got results back that I am positive for Chlamydia.
I am very puzzled, as my partner expressed when we first got together that he was a virgin, which would mean hypothetically I am the only person he has had sex with. This would mean that I have had Chlamydia for nearly four years if I would have contracted it from the most recent person I had intercourse with before my current partner and I got in our relationship.
While on the phone with my gyno, I asked if you can be asymptomatic for this long of a stretch of time, and she said there is ABSOLUTELY no way I have had it for nearly four years. She said I DEFINITELY contracted it from my current partner. This is obviously very upsetting to me, because this would mean my partner has cheated on me.
My question for people who may have dealt with similar experience, how did you navigate this situation? Is my gyno correct that there’s no way I’ve had it this long?
Thanks in advance
submitted by No_Carrot_9750 to STD [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:01 epileptick Credit for wins in OWC

I'm sorry this is a lot of words. The simple version is: I wasn't getting credit for wins. I fixed it. Now I know the problem is a servebug issue. I want help from the players to get microsoft/EA to fix it.
The long story is this:
For the last year I haven't been credited for my wins more than approx 30% of the time. Originally i thought it was people glitching the system to leave early and rob me of the win. But soon i realized that it happened even fighting people i knew were honest. The only way I could get a win was to not skip end game cutscene, then in the score screen I had to wait about 2 mins before pressing A or it would say something like "the server could not be reached" or something like that and I got no win. But losses happened EVERY TIME. Weird eh?
Long story short i found some posts talking about making a new xbox account with a yahoo email. This worked. I do get credited for my wins now. There is clearly no one responsible for this other than Microsoft and EA. The players are just victims of server issues and bad porting to xboxone.
Before this started- I was one of the people being called a hacker - i was the one always getting wins - rarely losses. And I couldn't lose a fight if I tried. I had records of like 30-0 before I would lose a fight.
Well now I lose more than I win. And I'm no noob. I'm really good. I have been #1 on Canadian leaderboards and won belts more times than I can remember. I even proved my skill to a friend once by getting #1 on ps3 as well.
Fast forward to now. I see the issue. It still needs to be fixed. I shouldn't have had to buy all the XP packs and add-ons again just to play the game and get credited for wins online. We pay $20 monthly sub to play this game online. You can't play online without that sub. And they let the game get THIS messed up. It's criminal.
Anyway I just wanted to share my experience so people stop making nonstop posts saying "hackers" are responsible for this. It's annoying. Please stop. Make a yahoo account and try for yourself.
There is one very weird problem now.... I can't delete my character and start over. My record stays even if I make a new fighter. If this was the case for everyone I would have no problem with it. But clearly there are bugs making some people more fortunate than others.
My BEST GUESS at what's happening, is the old tuner sets are staying active for old accounts and new accounts have the newest. Or something like this. Because I'm not flash KOing people ever anymore. And before it was almost every figut in the first 3 rounds. I remember the early days of FNC they tried updating tuner sets to allow less flash KOs.
I used to be the one flashing everyone and now very often I get flashed by a bum in the first round. This is why I have so many losses. I'll usually be winning then get flashed.
How do we fix this? How do we make EA and Microsoft listen? A petition? I'm not a fan of making posts just to complain. I want everyone to put their heads together so we can fix this once and for all. It's illegal what they are doing. We bought this game. They have no right to do this. In Canada very soon there will be strict laws preventing developers from abandoning games like this. But I fear Microsoft knows this and that's why the Xbox store is going offline for FNC in a couple months. I hope it's the opposite and they are making it work better. But I fear we will get abandoned before the laws pass.
Help me people. What do we do?
submitted by epileptick to FIghtNight [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:59 No_Cricket_6374 Do my letters to my family make sense?

Some of my family from Korea came to the US and we went to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon. I want to write them all letters. Did I write them ok?

미연언니 (older female cousin from my dad's side):

English You are so lively and funny! I love the way you talk and the stories you tell. Sharing the same room at Circus Circus was so fun even though you snore haha. When I go to Korea, please do my eyelashes and hair! And maybe learn some taekwondo from your husband that you love but don’t always like.
I hope I can go to New Zealand soon and hang out with your children. If they are like you, I know I will have a lot of fun.
Korean 언니는 정말 활기차고 재미있어요! 언니의 말투와 이야기하는 방식이 너무 좋아요. 서커스 서커스에서 같은 방을 쓴 것도 너무 즐거웠어요, 비록 언니가 코를 골지만요 ㅎㅎㅎ. 제가 한국에 가면 언니가 제 속눈썹과 머리를 해 주세요! 그리고 언니가 사랑하지만 항상 좋아하지 않는 그 남편에게 태권도도 좀 배워야겠어요.
뉴질랜드에 빨리 가서 언니의 아이들과 놀고 싶어요. 아이들이 언니를 닮았다면 정말 재미있을 것 같아요!
————

소연언니(older female cousin from my dad's side):

English I hope you get more time to rest because you took care of not only your daughter, but also me. You and your sisters took care of me too much! Every time you were in the kitchen, I would hear “and what about for Julie?” I’m so thankful that you don’t judge me for being vegan and instead accept who I am. With that heart, I know your daughter will become a wonderful woman as she gets older. At the very least, she will have a loving and supportive mom.
Korean 언니가 딸뿐만 아니라 저도 돌봐줘서 더 많이 쉴 시간이 생기길 바라요. 너와 네 언니의 저를 너무 많이 돌봐줬어요! 주방에 있을 때마다 "줄리는?"라는 말을 들었어요. 제가 비건이라는 걸 판단하지 않고 저를 있는 그대로 받아줘서 너무 감사해요. 그런 마음으로 언니의 딸도 나중에 멋진 여자가 될 거예요. 적어도 사랑과 지지를 듬뿍 받는 엄마가 있을 거예요.
———

혜연언니(older female cousin from my dad's side):

English The massage you gave me was so amazing haha! And the sauce for the soodubu too. Please share your recipe! I’m so happy I got to see more of your personality because it’s so fun and playful. I can see why my dad liked playing with you and your sisters back then. I also really enjoyed our conversation when we walked to the Bellagio fountain show. Even though I’m so bad at Korean, you were patient with me and didn’t make me feel ashamed for my broken Korean.
Korean 언니가 해 준 마사지는 정말 최고였어요 ㅋㅋㅋ! 그리고 순두부 소스도요. 레시피 좀 알려주세요! 언니의 성격을 더 알게 되어서 너무 기뻤어요. 정말 재미있고 장난기 많은 성격이네요. 왜 아빠가 예전에 언니들과 놀기를 좋아했는지 알겠어요. 벨라지오 분수 쇼로 걸어갈 때 우리의 대화도 정말 즐거웠어요. 제가 한국어를 잘 못하지만, 언니는 저에게 인내심을 가지고 부끄럽게 하지 않았어요.
————

큰엄마 (my uncle's wife on my dad's side):

English I was so cute to see you too shy to come inside the house for Mother’s Day until the rest of the family came. That made me realize how gentle and soft you are. And even though my Korean is really bad, you never made fun of me or got frustrated at me. You still continued to talk with me and ask me questions. I always get nervous when speaking Korean, especially with elders, but you remind me that I don’t need to be so fearful with family. Also, thank you for making all those side dishes! They were delicious and the best things I ate on the trip.
P.S: Thank you for taking care of grandma for so long. You have put in so much love and work for our family.
Korean 어머니의 날에 나머지 가족들이 올 때까지 집 안으로 들어오지 못할 정도로 부끄러워하는 모습을 보니 너무 귀여웠어요. 그 모습에서 큰엄마가 얼마나 부드럽고 온화한지 알게 되었어요. 제 한국어가 정말 서툴지만, 큰엄마는 절대 저를 놀리거나 화내지 않았어요. 여전히 저와 이야기하고 질문도 해주셨어요. 특히 어른들과 한국어로 대화할 때 긴장하는데, 큰엄마 덕분에 가족과는 그렇게 두려워할 필요 없다는 걸 깨달았어요. 또한 많은 반찬들 만들어 주셔서 감사해요! 정말 맛있었고 이번 여행에서 먹은 것 중 최고였어요.
P.S: 할머니를 오랫동안 돌봐주셔서 감사합니다. 우리 가족을 위해 많은 사랑과 노력을 쏟아주셨어요.
——————

큰삼촌 (my mom's uncle):

English My dad and I were talking about how much we loved having you! Sometimes, I get more nervous with older adults because my Korean is so bad and I mess up on showing respect to Korean elders. But you never minded that and made me feel comfortable. And thank you for also driving so much and paying for that meal at Grand Canyon. I'm sorry you got pulled over by the cops for speeding, that must have been so scary. But you didn't seem worried at all. You being so calm about it made us all feel less bad. Also, you were the only one with enough strength to not complain about walking so much haha. When we meet again, let’s work out!
Korean 아빠와 저는 큰삼촌과 함께 시간을 보낸 것이 너무 좋았다고 이야기했어요! 가끔 나이 많은 어른들과 함께 있을 때 제 한국어가 너무 서툴러서 존경을 제대로 표현하지 못할까봐 더 긴장되지만, 큰삼촌은 항상 편하게 대해 주셨어요. 그리고 많이 운전해 주시고 그랜드 캐니언에서 식사비를 내주셔서 감사합니다. 경찰에게 속도 위반으로 걸린 것 정말 무서웠을 텐데 죄송해요. 하지만 큰삼촌은 전혀 걱정하지 않는 것 같았어요. 큰삼촌이 그렇게 침착하게 대처해 주셔서 우리 모두 덜 불안했어요. 또한, 많이 걷는 것에 불평하지 않은 유일한 분이셨어요, 하하. 다음에 만날 때는 같이 운동해요!
———
작은고모 (my dad's sister):
English The massages you gave were one of the best parts of the trip haha. Also, just seeing your face, how you talk, how you move all made me so happy! Your cuteness brings me so much joy. And I’m glad you like to be around me because I love being around you. I wish I could have been with you more, but you always wanted to be next to 예진언니, like at the coaster ride, the Awakening show, and for sleeping. Next time, we have to sit next to each other and ride something together!
Korean 고모가 해 준 마사지는 여행 중 최고였어요 ㅎㅎㅎ. 그리고 고모의 얼굴을 보는 것, 말하는 것, 움직이는 모든 모습이 저를 너무 행복하게 했어요! 고모의 귀여움은 저에게 큰 기쁨을 줘요. 고모도 저와 함께 있는 걸 좋아한다고 해서 기뻐요. 더 함께 있고 싶었지만, 고모는 항상 예진 언니 옆에 있고 싶어 했어요, 롤러코스터 타기, 어웨이크닝 쇼, 잘 때도요. 다음 번에는 우리 서로 옆에 앉아서 무언가를 함께 타요!
————

예진언니 (my older female cousin on my dad's side):

English You take care of your mom so much. You are a great daughter. And also a great cousin to me. I really enjoyed our conversation at Grand Canyon. You are always open with me and easy to talk with. Also, I’m so happy you speak English haha. Speaking Korean takes so much effort for me, so when I was with you, I can rest a little more. I always feel comfortable around you. If I didn’t have you on this trip, I would have been way more stressed out. You’re just so awesome!
But next time, let me ride with 작은고모 and sit next to her at a show. I really wanted to see her reactions haha.
Korean 언니는 어머니를 정말 많이 돌봐줘요. 언니는 정말 훌륭한 딸이에요. 그리고 저에게도 훌륭한 사촌이에요. 그랜드 캐니언에서의 대화가 정말 즐거웠어요. 언니는 항상 저에게 마음을 열고 이야기하기 편해요. 그리고 언니가 영어를 할 줄 알아서 정말 기뻤어요, 하하. 한국어를 하는 게 저에게는 힘든데, 언니와 함께 있을 때는 좀 더 쉴 수 있어요. 언니 덕분에 여행이 훨씬 덜 스트레스받았어요. 언니는 정말 멋져요!
하지만 다음 번에는 작은고모와 함께 타고 쇼에서도 고모 옆에 앉고 싶어요. 고모의 반응을 보고 싶었거든요, 하하.
————

한을 (my cousin's 8 year old daughter):

English We didn’t talk much because you’re still shy. But that’s ok, I understand. I’m a foreign stranger to you and you were the only child with 10 old people. It must have been a pretty boring trip for you, but thanks for not complaining too much haha. I’m really glad we got to ride that Canyon Coaster ride together. I loved seeing you so happy and lively. It was also funny when you told me I was going to fast and you were scared haha. It was also so cute to see you amazed at the Bellagio Fountain show. Seeing you get excited and happy made me excited and happy. Be good to your mom and aunts because they are very good to you. Sometimes they might get angry at you, like the time at Grand Canyon, but it’s because they want to protect you. Don’t be so shy next time we see each other. We can have more fun that way.
Korean 우리가 많이 대화하지 못했어요, 왜냐하면 한을이가 아직 부끄러워하니까요. 괜찮아요, 이해해요. 저는 한을이에게 낯선 외국인이고, 한을이는 10명의 어른들 사이에서 유일한 아이였으니까요. 한을이에게는 아마 좀 지루한 여행이었을 텐데, 불평 많이 하지 않아줘서 고마워요 ㅋㅋㅋ. 캐니언 코스터를 함께 타서 정말 기뻤어요. 한을이가 행복하고 활기찬 모습을 보는 게 너무 좋았어요. 그리고 제가 너무 빨리 간다고 무서워하는 모습이 재미있었어요, 하하. 벨라지오 분수 쇼를 보고 감탄하는 한을이의 모습도 너무 귀여웠어요. 한을이가 행복하고 즐거운 모습을 보니 저도 같이 행복하고 즐거웠어요. 엄마와 이모들에게 잘해줘야 해요, 그분들은 한을이에게 정말 잘해주시니까요. 가끔 그랜드 캐니언에서처럼 화를 낼 수도 있지만, 그건 한을이를 보호하려는 마음 때문이에요. 다음에 만날 때는 덜 부끄러워해요. 그러면 더 재미있게 놀 수 있을 거예요.
submitted by No_Cricket_6374 to Korean [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:58 hiedra__ Feeling hopeless and scared

It’s been a year and five months since my relationship with my ex ended, around a year or so since we stopped talking altogether. We were together for seven years and experienced a lot of life defining moments together. It was a relationship with a lot of good in it, and what I believe was genuine love.
The last few months I’ve fallen into a deep depression and still ruminate a lot about the relationship and them, especially about the feeling that they moved on and I have had such a hard time about this. It’s hard to feel hope when you’ve felt this for so long and so deeply. Sometimes I wonder how much more pain and sadness can I feel? How long does this go on for? Does it ever end?
I read about coping mechanisms, about rebuilding your life, and how it makes it easier, but I have a hard time feeling like it has become easier. I need some hope.
submitted by hiedra__ to heartbreak [link] [comments]


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