I'm sorry for posting this but I haven't been able to talk about what's really happening the last 12 months because no one cares to listen to people like me. I just really need to write this down so it isn't just inside me forever, I'm not expecting any replies or help, I just want someone to know my story because i dont know when or how it will end. (also i wrote this at 11pm after not sleeping for 3 days, so theres a chance none of this makes sense)
I am 14, turning 15 in a few months.
I have been dealing with severe depression(?) for around 4 years now, but the issues started way before that. there is something seriously wrong with me, and i am not blaming anyone but myself. I'm diagnosed with adhd, severe social & general anxiety disorder, autism, and ptsd. I have an abundance of issues cleaning and taking care of myself which i am extremely embarrassed about.
I attempted to truly end my life first when i was 10 via od on a prescription. the second time i was 11, i tied a ribbon very tightly around my neck, and fell asleep crying from both sadness and relief. i remember waking up, and it was like my body automatically started desperately searching for anything sharp to get it off my neck. i had a red spot on the side for a while after that, i covered it with a fake tattoo so my mom wouldn't have to worry about my older brother as well as me.
I resorted to online learning for middle school after bullying and sexual harassment, plus issues with the school that lead to cps being called. skip forward to now, my only friends are online, and they make fun of me for being autistic, and say they forget im a real person regularly. I understand, i dont expect them to care that much about someone theyve never spoken to in person before, i just wish i could be someones first choice.
december last year i started smoking weed, and that made me forget about how much i wanted to die. unfortunately, that got me addicted immediately. i couldn't bare being sober, if i wasnt high off my mind i was sobbing and shaking. eventually my mom found out, and I (mostly) stopped. unfortunately, the inevitable happened. i started stealing liquor, drank almost a whole bottle of tequila by myself within ~6 days. mom found out about that too, and stopped buying alcohol as well as starting to lock up the medication in the house. this was the beginning of the end. i hate myself for what i did. my mom did everything right, i, however, did everything wrong. i started abusing gabapentin, which quickly lost its magic. i told myself i was never going to touch stimulants or amphetamines, but of course i did. I was desperate to feel something that i started abusing my adhd meds. i hate them, i cant eat or sleep on them, but they make me focus on something that isnt my thoughts.
I've done everything i wanted to do before i go. today was my friends 16th birthday, yesterday was mothers day, and a few days before that was my one year on HRT. (not getting into that right now lol) i didnt think id make it to 13, I truly dont know why I'm still here. I can't remember a day i havent wanted to just leave and be free from emotion and people. I'll probably delete this when i see it in the morning, but i desperately needed to get this off my chest. I had potential, I was smart and kind and bright, and then the people around me grew up, while i was still waiting for my turn.
Maybe if I was born into a different family i could've been a psychologist like ive always wanted to. In another lifetime.

I'm so sorry about the length of this post but I feel I need to get this off my chest.
I'm almost 38 weeks along (37 weeks 5 days) and my pregnancy is labeled high risk due to a birth defect I have in my uterus that has caused multiple miscarriages. I am unsure if my previous loses have made me more sensitive or if this all is something other pregnant women would have a problem with also.
I feel like I started having negative thoughts towards my mum not supporting me through my pregnancy when she yelled at me and called me selfish when my doctor told me I had to go on bedrest. I was in bedrest for about the first 7 months of my pregnancy. Apparently, my mum does not believe in bedrest or high risk pregnancies (she said this). She has also said some pretty horrible stuff to me about social services taking my baby away because my apartment was a bit of a mess due to me having no help while on bedrest.
Honestly, the negative feelings did get worse when my mum told me I could not have a baby shower because she had a lot going on. I was willing to plan it myself and just needed her to go and look at a venue for me but she refused, then went and told everyone I was not having one. She also got mad at me for making a baby registry, saying she has never heard of a registry for a baby before. My SIL had one for her oldest and we both bought things off it for her.
I have been really sad about not getting a baby shower, so I try not to think about it. My gender reveal was also a bust because nobody in my family wanted to come to it and I ended up doing it alone. My sister told me that the whole idea of a gender reveal was stupid anyway. I just wanted to celebrate getting far enough in my pregnancy to tell what gender my baby was. I have been struggling with depression since no one came to the gender reveal and it has only been getting worse. I'm excited about having my baby but I wish people would be more supportive.
On top of that no one has bought anything off the baby registry, except for my dad. I'm really thankful for my dad as he has been helping me a lot even though he lives the farthest away from me. I know gifts are not really important, but I cannot help but to think about the family members who have had babies in past years and how many gifts and all the support they got from everyone in the family. I feel like my own mum was more excited for my SIL's pregnancies than mine.
Yesterday while out with my mum and sister the topic of me giving birth came up. When I first got pregnant my mum was constantly insisting that my sister should be going to my parenting classes with me and should be at the hospital with me, I always told her that wasn't happening when she brought it up.
For some background, my sister is about 20 years older than I am and cannot have children of her own. She has also always been quite mean to me and therefore we do not have the best relationship at all. Luckily for me, she has since moved 6+ hours away from where I am and my mum has stopped suggesting she go to my parenting classes and the hospital when I give birth.
Now my mum is insisting on being there herself. I'm not a big fan of that at all and on top of that she cannot drive herself, meaning my aunt would have to drive her to the hospital. I am dead set on my aunt not being there at all since she does not respect boundaries and is prone to throwing fits when she does not get her way. I do not get why my mum wants to be there (she has never been there for me for anything else) and am thinking about not telling her until after the baby is born, but I think that will really upset her. I kind of don't care at this point though and I'm so confused on why she would want to be there after everything she has said to me during my pregnancy.
I am having my dad take me to the hospital when it is time because he will be staying with me before the baby is born. He has been more understanding than my own mum through everything, especially my pregnancy. Everything that's happened has made me not want anyone to meet my baby except for my dad and some people from his side of the family.
At this point I do not care about having support after my baby is born because I feel like my entire pregnancy has been lonely and unsupported (except for my dad). So would it be justified to not tell my mother that my baby was born until after? And would it be rude to tell people to not come and visit me?

It sounds terrible already, I (25F) was in a toxic relationship with my ex (30M). Looking back at all the red flags, I’m pretty sure he asked me to be his girlfriend because he was homeless (staying with family). I must have been lonely or bored to ever allow that to happen but I did. It was the worst relationship/thing in general I’ve experienced. The relationship was filled with toxicity, arguing, me calling the police, etc. I could not put him out because “he was a tenant”. He would not ever leave & I should have did more research on how to legally evict someone but I didn’t. Fast forward, I decided to leave. I got a new apartment and just left, I left my furniture, clothes, everything. But today I had to get some stuff for my job so I went to the old apartment to grab what I needed. He locked me out of the apartment, and was looking at me through the windows. I don’t know what bothered me so bad, but before I knew it I was literally kicking the door down. I’ve for the most part never been the aggressor, I’m just so over this alcoholic pos, poor excuse of a man trying to ruin my life.
I will pay for the damages obviously but it’s to the point where I don’t care about getting an eviction in my name . I can’t do it anymore. (I was planning to buy a house soon) . This whole situation is giving me bad anxiety I don’t want to deal with it anymore . I don’t want any contact with him, the lease for that apartment isn’t up until the end of September. I told him initially when I moved I didn’t care if he stayed and paid the rent since the police said I couldn’t put him out. But I don’t want him to use anything or benefit from me in any type of way.
And people push you to your breaking point and play victim. I look at relationships so differently now, I will never play house or shack up again. This was a hell on earth experience.
Thinking of changing my number, I already deleted all social medias, and somewhat disappear from everything and everybody.

So my bf and me have been together for almost two years. My boyfriend has sma type 2, recently we have come into a the same problem, he’s cheating. So the first time I found out he was cheating was from him breaking down from the guilt and telling me, he had been cheating since the beginning of our relationship (we at one year at that point). He told me it would never happen again n he only did it because he was afraid I would leave and that if he cut them off he would have no one left. (His disability makes it hard to meet ppl)i t took me months to get over it and plus it was only sexting and nothing emotional. Well yesterday he was very upset, and I pushed him to tell me what’s wrong and he confessed that he had tried to cheat on me with a girl at his college. He confessed to her and the girl publicly shamed him, he was highly emotional and felt like offing himself. So I was of course focused on him not hurting himself and trying to take care of him, he said he did it because it felt like his last chance to not die a virgin(were long distance and I’m trying to get to him but inflation is a bitch). So I told him I understand but it feels like he’s only with me bc I’m the only one who wants him(not to be rude ofc), he reassured me that he loves me and that he’s attraction was purely sexual. But that kinda made me feel worse, bc tmi but I put In a lot of time n money into making sexual shows fit to his desires and fantasies. But it’s like not matter what he is always looking for someone near him , Ik it’s hard for ppl with disabilities to find ppl interested in them so if he asked to do things with another girl I’m willing to suck up my feelings and let him. We are about to be two years in three months and I’m worried that’s he’s gonna try to cheat again or maybe a girl near him is gonna steal him from me. I don’t want to leave him either because I’m deeply in love with him and this is my longest relationship plus he is my first true love. And even if I do muster up the courage to break up with him, who’s to say that he’ll find somebody before he dies like every day he’s always talking about how lonely he is and how no one else loves him but me and I’m fine with that because I love him with all my heart. And it’s not like I’m just gonna leave him every day. I’m researching about ways I can take care of him for when we live together. I’m saving up for a car to get to him and I’m looking at prices of houses in his area so he doesn’t have to travel that far. I just don’t know if he’s using his disability to excuse his cheating or maybe this is a serious problem in the disability community I don’t really know because I’m not disabled and I can never now. I just want to know other peoples opinions on it.

I cannot believe you can be married to someone and devote your all to them, only for them to treat you suddenly in the most horrific of ways.
I gave my ex wife my all. Two years ago she waited for my father to get to the point of passing away before she started acting crazy and cheating on me. Perfect timing. I had to deal with my parent being ill and a funeral and also deal with a cheating wife who started suddenly calling me abusive and emotionally abusive and all of this other terminology and she took my son away from me and cheated.
She cheated, and cheated, and cheated some more. I tried calling her, reasoning with her, even stupidly sending her money at first. Well, what do you know? Besides the money I voluntarily sent her out of worry for her wellbeing, she stole some of my own money and flew out of state to meet a person off the internet and cheat. She cheated here too. In total I know of 4 people she slept with within 3 months of leaving me. Then she got pregnant by the guy she has been with for the last two years. How long did it take for her to get knocked up? Probably 6-7 months after suddenly breaking up with me (if you want to call it a breakup since we never even had ONE DISCUSSION or conversation about anything).
Now she will randomly text my phone and pretend it’s for our child. I have temp custody, but she will send him a text although it seems like it’s aimed at me just acknowledging her existence as I refuse to say a word to her anymore. She tried once to come back when her and her whatever you call that thing she’s with were having problems. I felt insulted that she felt she could just call me after 2 years and I’d just take her back.
Almost 800 days have since passed as she lives her life as if nothing bad ever happened. She just goes on with a “new normal”, ick…and here I am full of terror over the craziness that transpired. I couldn’t save my marriage. My marriage got destroyed. I thought she was my best friend. She ended up being a murder in my eyes. Because it feels like my soul got murdered. My days are spent pretending to be normal. I go to work, do activities, but it lingers in my mind just about 24/7.
I will never ever understand how this occurred. I am traumatized. People have advised me to “move on and find someone else.” I would if I wasn’t so traumatized and also developed 100% disinterest in relationships or sex itself. It is like asking a cat if it wants to hop in the swimming pool. I don’t understand any of it, all I know is that I’m extremely tired of my life.

I’ve been dealing with this issue for almost 4 years now (I’m 19), and I still haven’t found a solution!
Whether the interaction took place online or IRL, I literally ruminate on it due months or even ~years~ on end (I’m still ruminating on interactions from 2 years ago, but it feels like they happened just a few moments ago).
The worst part is that no matter how many mantras I repeat to myself (I can’t control what people do, focus on yourself, etc.), literally NOTHING CHANGES! On the rare occasions that I do find some relief, it lasts for like 10 minutes before my anxiety takes over.
Pretty much all of my time now is spent feeling numb or having a very uncomfortable angeanxiety feeling.
I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Sooooo I've been seeing a few people putting posts up about coming back to the game and wanted to chime in as a 40 year old playing competitively again aftter pretty much quitting in 2000. I played a lot as a kid to connect with my Pops while he was in town since he was in the Navy so I'm not going to lie it was a lot fun for a while. I learned a lot and it took it as far until my Pops started deploying and those gaps without him I didn't know what to do except hit the wall, cause on the real, that ball is always coming back. I'm a big Pistol Pete and Agassi fan but as I got older I just lost interest. So after 11th grade in high school I decided to call it quits and never really followed the sport, lived my 20s and 30s without the sport when it was so close to me from 5 to 17 years old...
So now I'm 40 now and started playing again and I don't have any regrets being away, when I was younger I was so overwhelmed with what had to deal with outside the game and forgot how to have fun. I didn't really care if I played again but made sure to keep my strokes and ball tracking to hit with my Pops, and I'm glad I did. He can still beat me to this day at the age of 71... But after my wife took interest and decided she wanted to learn the game and it woke the competitive spirit up. If I was to teach her the fundamentals I should play again, I needed to experience the pressure again, the game isn't to give the ball to your opponent. Not going to lie, I was served bagels my first flex league in pretty much all my matches but I told myself I'll learn as I play matches and it's been the time of my life!
So if you're coming back to game and miss the excitement, what's stopping you? If your healthy or want to get healthier, why not?Losing still sucks but how is anyone going to test the skills they have without competitive play? The way I see it is "I want you to give your best so I can give you my best and we can really play..." Learning this again changed everything.
So to you 40 plus players, let's get on those courts!!!

Hi! My first post here.
To cut to the chase, I have a mother who always wants to find something wrong with my life. Ever since I was a child, she found the smallest things to be mad at me for, such as doing a chore just slightly incorrectly, and every single time she'd call me "useless". She constantly compared me to other children, and still does the same now and my big age of 19. Apparently, I'm not independent enough, and I don't care about her enough, even though I'm constantly going out of my way to prove that she's wrong. She's my mother, I would do anything for her. But she doesn't see that at all. Once, I told her I didn't like it when she called me worthless, and she told me that she said it because I am. She never apologized. Trust me, there's loads of things she's done to me that many of my friends feel like would justify me running away, but I'm not going to be too morbid.
At the same time, she's my best friend. I'm an only child who grew up with little friends, so the person I interacted with the most was her. We share a lot of the same interests and gossip about family drama. It's at those times, I feel like I'm wrong about her. But this time, she did something I feel I can't forgive her for.
Last July, I finally got a boyfriend. It seems like we're soulmates...we met on dating app but found that we have so many friends in common and also that we used to go to the same school as children. He's more than I could ever ask for. He travels to where I am by train for more than 2 hours every week (so a total of 4-5 hours). Once, he travelled more than 3 hours (a total of 6 hours) to see me in my university campus because I was feeling depressed about my assignments.
He indulges in my passions and interests. He doesn't have much money but sometimes scrimps on his meals throughout the week so he can afford to get me a small treat like ice cream when we see each other. He bought me roses on Valentines. He buys me meaningful gifts whenever he can. He understands me on a super deep level and we talk about everything. I could call him at 3am with a problem and he'd pick up. He never gets mad at me, and we've never had an argument because we always sort out our issues by communicating effectively. Heck, he even follows me to church sometimes because he wants to show me that he's interested in the things that matter to me and because he wanted to make a good impression on my mom-who married someone who never took interest in anything she did or liked let alone follow her to church every other week.
He's the most amazing guy I could ever want, and his family loves me (he jokes that they love me more than him). It's just that I haven't met them yet, since there's the distance to take into account, and because both his parents work so they're constantly busy. Also, they wanted to respect the fact that my mother might not let me go all the way to their house because of how far it is. Still, he always tells his family about me, and I often speak to his 3 sisters on the phone as they're younger than me and sometimes like hearing my advice.
My boyfriend, though, has met my mother on multiple occasions and she told me she loved him. My dad on the other hand, is actively avoiding meeting him (example: we were supposed to follow my dad to the temple for a special occasion, but at the last minute he backed out. He would never back out from that kind of thing).
If you're wondering, this is where the issue starts. My mother thinks it's incredibly suspicious that I haven't met his family yet (even though I told her I'm meeting them on the day my boyfriend graduates from pre-university). It was never really a big deal to me, since I have met his close friends and spoken to his sisters-and the fact his parents knew about me and liked me was enough. I understood that they are both busy working people and they live quite far from me. But yesterday, all this blew up in my face.
I asked my mother if she'd be okay with me taking a trip with my boyfriend, just for a couple of days, to celebrate our first anniversary. I wasn't expecting a yes or no, really. Just asking. Initially she yelled at me about how I haven't even met his parents yet and how he hasn't met my dad yet (which was entirely his fault) and said we should do it in September instead. I said okay.
Then, when I got back to campus later that night, I called her again to check up on her and she brought this up again. She said my dad disapproved of the trip and went on for 15 minutes about many things. I'll summarize in a list about what she said.

• He isn't good enough for you
• He doesn't want you to meet his family
• His family probably doesn't like you because they haven't met you yet
• You guys are taking things too fast and should continue getting to know each other
• You're always sacrificing for him
• You're getting the short end of the stick
• There are better people for you to date
• You're sacrificing your studies for him and you'll get distracted by him

As you can see, none of these are true. The last one made me especially angry because I go to what is known as a "smart kid school" in my country and it's very hard to get a distinction on our assignments! However, a condition on my student loan says if I get first class honors, they will cancel my debt completely. So my mom kept burdening me with how I dug a hole by myself for choosing to be in a relationship with him during university life (EVEN THOUGH, she wanted me to date around in university before. The difference is, she wanted me to basically be a playboy...playgirl? I don't know. When my mom was young she was exactly that. Had tons of boyfriends and cheated on a lot of them. She even told me to join a speed dating event).
I had never been so hurt in my life! What happened to "don't worry about money just focus on getting your degree"? Anyway, my boyfriend never complains when I tell him I need to be by myself on that day because I need to study and do my work...I'm one of the hardest workers in my class and he knows how much my studies mean to me. It's not my fault I'm not getting distinctions.
Now I'm a mess. I want her to love my boyfriend, and I want my dad to love my boyfriend. But he's truly done as much as he can to get their approval but he's depressed himself knowing that none of his efforts have been seen by them. He has a life, a curfew, and a worrying mother too...he can't always be accommodating to me (his mother initially didn't like me because she felt like he was spending too much time and money coming to see me but came around eventually), so I accommodate to him whenever by choosing a convenient location for us to meet up and meeting up at a later time. Because of this, my mother says I'm doing too much because distance isn't an excuse (it kind of is).
Anyhow, my question is, how in the world do I deal with this? Or at least, I need some comfort...this is the best relationship I'm honestly ever going to have but my mother wants me to date around because that's what she thinks having fun means. She thinks I'm sacrificing everything when the truth is, I'm having loads of fun in university with my new friends, I still see my old friends, and I have more than enough time to focus on my studies. He's not distracting me from everything.
How do I convince such a stubborn woman to be on my side?

I'm absolutely livid. My neighbor, the inconsiderate jerk who lives to the left of my home, throws obnoxious parties almost every damn day of the weekend from 4-8 PM. He blasts his music so loud that I can't even hear my own TV over the noise. At first, it was just irritating, and I tried to ignore it, but now it's become unbearable. Lately, I've had a sneaking suspicion that he's renting his house out to random people by the hour. This past Saturday, it was chaos—at least 50 random people showed up, all black (not trying to be racist), blasting the most vulgar and offensive music imaginable. The nonstop N-slurs, F-bombs, and graphic lyrics shook the entire neighborhood with their speakers and subwoofers. I have two high school kids who are trying to study for their final exams, and this noise is straight up torture for them. My 78-year-old mother, who lives with us, is going crazy with this racket blaring right outside her window. My wife and I have started getting headaches from the constant noise. This is driving us all insane. Our city has sound ordinances, but how the hell do I get the message across that this is absolutely intolerable? This has to stop, and I need to do something now. I feel completely helpless. My neighborhood has no HOA, so I don't know where to turn. I need help dealing with this without turning my neighbor into an outright enemy or facing some consequences by him getting angry.
What can I do to put an end to this nightmare?
Thanks in advance y'all

Hey, so I've started getting quotes for hair and makeup and my first choice was someone who is pretty well known in Cape Town, South Africa for hair and makeup. We chatted at first and she sent the quote which was great (I told her we need to meet with the venue the weekend to confirm the date before I pay the deposit)
Anyways, the weekend I messaged her for bank details to pay the deposit- no reply. And Monday I sent her another message inquiring how long it would take to get done - no reply, none of it even opened.
Me I'm a bit impatient, like to me it seems unprofessional so I immediately want to ask other people for quotes.
Should I wait more or as it as unprofessional as it seems to me ??

I’ve always been different as a kid. I was heavier than most of the kids and I was loud and always talking and cheerful. Which you would think sounds great! But the kids still didn’t like me that much. As I got older as happens to most girls who grew up being unpopular in school, puberty hit me in a different way. I was kind of in my rebellious era and I used to watch anime a lot and just was overall really cringey.
Most of my old friend group turned out to be whack-a-mole and most of them turnt to drugs and their lives were going downhill and so I decided to make a change. Since I was a severely depressed girl who had undiagnosed OCD and was desperate for friendships because it seemed like no one ever wanted to be my friend or stay my friend because I was “too much”. No guys ever wanted to date me either. So I changed everything. My black hair I dyed when I was in what everyone called my “EMO phase” went back to my natural color, blonde, I started dressing more to the trends, started making new friends because I had got some of my old personality back, and started wearing natural makeup, and I stopped watching anime because it was “weird” to like it I guess?
Anyway. Things got better, but I also still always felt like I wasn’t really me. Some boys started paying attention to me, but none I liked. So my old bad eating habits came out and I was trying anything I could do to be “normal” a basic teenage girl. But now, as I just been in a whole friend group argument, leaving me wondering what half of my friends are going to do. I wonder why I changed some of my ways. Because even though I did, people still joke and treat me like that “weird girl” from high school. Like, why did I change my personality? Why am I always drinking? Why am I seeking so hard for validation? Why did I stop doing the things I like? I don’t know if I’m like having a midlife crisis at 18 years old but I don’t know how to deal with it. I just want to do some of the things I used to like but I’m scared people will think I’m weird again. I just want to talk to new people online because I need an escape from the real world and I was thinking about downloading discord (I know, I’m desperate) just because I want to talk to somebody who knows nothing about my past, where I can make myself seem like this great awesome person.
Basically what I’m trying to say is, should I start trying to make other friends online? Should I start doing the things I like even if it might risk my social status? I know this may sound stupid but I’m literally just a girl LMAO. Thanks, if you even read this.

Me and my partner have been together now for a year and a half. This past year has been a roller coaster. I moved in very fast (within 3 months of us dating) due to some financial issues I had going on. Ever since then though, problems arose.. I’m affected by situationships from my past with unhealthy traits such as jealousy and major trust issues. I also have trouble opening up. It took almost the whole first year for to 100% trust my partner and not be so jealous of any woman she mentioned.. I still struggle a little bit but not as much.. and it’s because I’ve started to kind of see other people as attractive.. I have not told my partner any of this but I’d recently made a “friend” on a friend making app, and thought she was cute and had.. thoughts. It went on for about 4 days and I finally blocked her today because I’d realized I was getting excited when she’d text me and not in a friendly way.. After alll of that work that my partner went through and all of the patience, I do something like that. And this person isn’t the only one that I’ve caught myself looking at that way.. there have been a couple of others that I’ve actually caught myself flirting with at work.. it eats me up knowing how much my partner loves me, how loyal she is, and I did something like this. I’ve never seen myself to be a cheater.. I’ve always been the type to be completely infatuated with whoever I’m talking to/dealing with without anyone else being a distraction. And don’t get me wrong, I love her. And she has done so much for me that I’m so more than grateful for.. she’s literally helped me become a better person. I mean that. She’s helped me love myself so much more. She loves me more than anyone ever has and probably ever could. She is truly unmatched as a person in general.. but I don’t deserve her. And she deserves better… I’ve actually told her that before. But she is so adamant on being patient with me and that I’m the one.. she even plans on proposing soon and she doesn’t think that I know. We’re also pretty financially dependent on each other right now and I’d hate to leave her alone in that situation. She already has very bad depression. That’s also another big reason why I’m terrified to end things. She would be so broken… What do I do?

I’m out of words.
A close friend of mine went to a club in Montreal for the first time. She told me how many guys harassed her and her friends, how she and her friends had to repeatedly say no, how they had to watch their drinks at all times, how a group of guys were watching all night waiting for girls to get very drunk, grabbing one of them without consent, … A club is supposed to let you have fun! Not feel unsafe! Not LITERALLY be unsafe!
Before anyone dares to say “that’s just the way it is”, let me just tell you that you NEED to stop normalizing this bullshit. This shit ain’t normal. Harassment ain't normal! Don't normalize it! Call it out!
Most often I hear guys saying how they’d always go to the club when they were younger and had so much fun. Meanwhile, (nearly if not) every woman who went to the bar has a story about getting harassed. There's an OBVIOUS problem here. What's being done about it?
I’m saddened by the fact my friends who are women, unlike their peers who are men, can’t simply enjoy going to the club without dealing with harassment constantly just because there are a ton of men out there who think it's acceptable to harass women. Consent can be learned. This behaviour shouldn't be tolerated. Creeps should be THROWN OUT or thrown in jail.
Clubs NEED trained female staff security. Clubs need to give severe and deserved consequences to the men who won’t respect a woman’s space. And if they won't, then law has to enter the chat to bring justice.
People need to KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS because women should be able to feel safe. So, to the men reading this, speak up, call out your friends when they do something that ain't right, hold other guys accountable when they do something they shouldn’t and make jokes that aren’t actually jokes, talk about this huge issue to raise awareness. Genuinely. Your voice is needed.
And if you feel attacked by this post, a post made by a young woman in Montreal who just wants women to be able to feel safe when they go to clubs, then you're a part of the problem and you gotta figure this shit out.
You're probably wondering : how is one post going to change anything? Well it's by starting the discussion by talking about it that people can be aware of it and speak up regarding it too. We can't leave this problem in the shadows. It's not fair. Women deserve better.

Solo queue sucks.
If you're reading this, you know it. But one thing that sucks about solo queue isn't actually playing the games themselves. It's the daily (or maybe hourly) posts in this subreddit that complain about how bad solo queue is.
So I put together a discord server to solve this issue, You'll be able to connect with other Survivors, put together a duo, trio, or full team, and never have to deal with solo queue again.
This is for all skill levels. From beginner noobie, to dudes who can loop for five gens. You'll be able to meet people and play with any skill level you want - But honestly, a bad teammate with comms is better than any random teammate is.
Once we build a community in this discord, you'll never have to go into a game without a full squad around you.
Link pinned in comments if you want in, If you don't see it, then message me.

Already posted this is shrooms but thought I would post here as well. This is very important: I DO NOT CONDONE THE USE OF SUBSTANCES this is for educational purposes only
A little backstory, I’m 19M and have stuttered all my life. I’m not a very self conscious person but stuttering is my kryptonite. When I say I stutter I don’t mean I trip up on words hear and there I mean nearly every word I say can take me anywhere from a second to 30 seconds if I’m really having a bad block. A good portion of my life revolves around my stuttering. It dictates anything from my major in college to even the food I eat. It makes me feel less than human and is stopping me from being the person I want to be, at least that’s what it feels like. Through the years I have naively taken substances when I was far too young to both experiment and suppress the anxieties caused/formed by my stutter. Some of the substances were prescribed like Xanax and adderall while others I took to recreationally like MDMA, MDA, shrooms, LSD, alcohol, weed and some other more niche compounds. Most of there were done at wayyy to young of an age and I wouldn’t doubt it some of these causes lasting side effects even the LSD and shrooms which are physically safe. I stopped taking those drugs besides weed and alcohol until this year. (Sorry for the long backstory started rambling)
Fast forward to now me and three of my friends went on a climbing road trip with the first destination on our trip being Zion. We planned to take a 1/8 of GT each besides for my one friend who was going to take 2.5 since it was his first time. We took them on an empty stomach and started walking to our pre planned spot. They start hitting and fast, I have a decent bit of experience taking shrooms and have taken up to 5g with a good bit of experience of taking around 1/8 but these hit me like a train. We settle down in our spot when my friend who’s first time it was doing shrooms takes off with no shoes on in Zion national park without saying a word. It took us a while to realize because prior to taking off he was chilling in a dead tree near by and thought he needed some alone time. Anyways the three of us that are left start getting worried and we don’t know what to do. My one friend starts looping, saying “where’s __” over and over again but unfortunately repeating his name doesn’t summon him. At this point we are stopping balls and have no clue what to do but wait and hope he returns. I tried to calm him down saying he will be fine but honestly I wasn’t sure but at the time we couldn’t come up with a plan to find him (we did go looking for him but we were looping so hard there was no chance). This caused a lot of subtle anxiety for the first part of our trip with my one friend ever minute or so saying “where’s __” still. Our lost friend eventually appears out of the brush looking like a 6” 3’ hobbit it was quite a sight. I was scaring thinking he was off having a horrible trip or got hurt but the first thing he says is I quote “I know everything” to which I laughed and though to myself I have had that thought before this kid is tripping balls. Anyways we were all very relived but he tried to leave again saying he was feeling better away from the group which I get we probably weren’t giving off the best vide at that point but we didn’t want to stress over losing his again so I decided to tag along. This is where the stuttering backstory comes in, sorry again for the long post I wasn’t expecting to give a full trip report but here we are.
I was sitting with him on a tree nearby when we started taking about what he had just experienced/ is experiencing. It was very broken English but he was saying how we are all one and exclaimed how beautiful the whole experience had been and started asking me question about my trip and past trips. We somehow got to the topic of anxiety and the cause of it. When I started thinking about it I started to have very basic but meaningful realizations about my anxiety surrounding my stutter. I started speaking to my friend and rarely stuttering and even when I did, I didn’t care one bit, the anxiety I usually feel in the back of my throat wasn’t there and I could speak for the first time in my life. The whole we are all one mind set along with the heavy ego dissolution made me not care about if I stuttered or not it was beautiful. I felt like I could talk to anyone and not have the weight of my stutter glooming over me. I realized they are just people and their judgment (if they even are judging because the assumption that they are judging me is egotistical in a way since I am assuming they care about me enough to judge) shouldn’t effect the way I carry out my life and stop me from being happy. I also thought I am the one causing this anxiety for myself and all of this worry is for nothing since why be shameful about something I can’t change. I would always try to tell myself these things in my day to day life but I never really felt it. When I was tripping I was able to feel these thought and look at them in a new perspective I have never been able to in the past. No amount of alcohol, Xanax, MDMA or any other drug for that matter could have shown me that. During the trip I though I had cured my stutting even telling me friend I think I won’t be stuttering any more after this. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case but now I know it’s possible to reach that point, I feel I should have done a better job integrating my trip but there is still time and I plan to work on it. Maybe I say fuck it and pull a Paul stamets instead ha no jk. Anyways that’s a long story long sorry it was so drawn out and all over the place this wasn’t even the full trip but some of the more important bits. Hope you got something out of this but it was more of a vent because as one would image verbally telling a story to someone feels impossible with a stutter so it feels good get it out somehow.

so to clear things up before i say the story. i understand why this is all happening and i do regret it and i wish i could go back in time and just be a good person in general and treated her way better. every single day i live with this regret and it just pains me.
so me and her have been together for two years now and it really was all fun and romantic. it felt like we were meant for each other and it wasn't just lust. it was love. true deep love and i loved it so much. we fought a good amount but it was never relationship ending. we always overcame our disagreements and learned to apologize and recognize when one of us is wrong. but we had a big problem recently and it was very personal to her and i failed at being a decent human being and instead got mad and defensive and i let my emotion take over instead of understanding.
so one morning i woke up to a text from her saying she found two pictures of instagram girls in bikinis saved on my accounts folder from when i was in freshman year. she politely asked me to delete them. then i did tell her id delete them but i then proceeded to get upset as if this was a common thing to get mad at me about and i acted like it wasn't a big deal and i basically told her to get over it and that "it shouldn't be a whole day problem" without realizing how much those photos impacted her. i wasn't aware of those photos being there and instead of reassuring her and just being nice and deleted them i made a whole big deal about it and i regret it.
she's always told me she doesn't like the way she looks and that she accepted the fact that she looks "mid" and she isn't anyone's type of girl but she's told me before that i made her feel like she was my type and i made her feel pretty at times but that's all gone now. i really was into her and she's still so pretty to me and she kept getting prettier and prettier in every scenario i saw her.
i didn't even think in the moment on how it could affect her seeing those pictures saved on my account. she must have felt awful seeing that and it would make it seem like i had a type and i was attracted to those girls when in reality i didn't even know they existed and im not really attracted to women other than her. i know it sounds like bullshit but i just can't see women the same after being with her and she won't ever believe that. i understand now how she must've felt and how it must have shattered her self esteem and i couldn't even reassure her. and when we eventually talked about it like a day later, i STILL didn't understand how she felt and when i apologized i wrote the most wrong apology saying stuff like "i did nothing wrong" "get over it im sorry" literally no reassurance just anger and i hate myself for not realizing it in the moment. it wasn't until like a WEEK LATER that i realized how she felt and what i should've done.
our anniversary of two years was in like a week and after this bad apology and talk we basically took a break so she can have time to think. we still talked here and there but nothing romantically or about us. and we agreed that we'd try couples therapy one day so i set it all up and this is where i did the most stupidest awful decision ever.
i know it's frowned upon and stuff but my dad tried to raise me to be cold and not show emotion but in reality emotion is all i could show. i ended up being very needy and anxious and just needing her comfort at times.
the night before we were going to talk to the therapy lady. she was having a bad time and told me she didn't want to talk tonight or call. and without thinking i just started being needy and wanted her attention and kept texting her. then i did something so stupid and ruined what i loved the most. i don't know what my thought process was or how i thought it was a good idea but i got on a "second number app" that allows you to text from a whole different number and i texted HER number while she was feeling bad and in the text i acted like i was a coworker i had that was "looking for me" the coworker was a girl and of no importance to me but i used her name practically asking for "myself to catch up"
i wrote a paragraph for when i wanted to reveal myself and in it i tried to say that i did it because i wanted her to see that "i was always there" or that it always was just her and i and that she doesn't need to worry about anyone getting in between us because it was always her and i. that reason sounds like BS now i genuinely don't know what i was thinking. she says she knows that i did it just to make her jealous, but i don't feel like it was that way. i didn't mean to hurt her and i wish i saw how it could hurt her.
after coming clean about it like a few texts on there i sent the paragraph thinking we'd just laugh about it or something like the stupid delusional person i am. she didn't say anything in the first few seconds but i felt a sudden regret and i felt like i couldn't breathe because i suddenly realize how bad of a thing it was. i promised her i would lie to her and i tricked her with this. so i started panicking after sending it and saying stuff like "this was a bad thing wasn't it" and just panicking and apologizing so fast because i tricked her. i didn't even think about how she would be jealous about that coworker and i was stupid to not think that back then. she then didn't reply for a while and it sank in that i really did something so awful to her. so out of panic i got in my car and went to see a friend at 2 am because they worked night shift. and i talked to her about it and she agreed that it was stupid and i shouldn't have done it. i am so conflicted about this right now. i don't know if it was because i was needy or i just wanted her attention or im just plain stupid. i don't know now why i did it and i regret it deeply. she won't accept an apology thought because my reasoning doesn't make sense at all and i understand that now.
i felt sick to my stomach and later that night like an hour or so later she broke up with me. my whole world sank. i dented my car and went back to my friend to tell her and i just broke down for what i have done. and i've been paying for this with karma ever since this has happened. not even an hour later from this, i got fired from the job i was working at and i lost everything. i have this pain in my chest that hasn't gone away since that day and i've been having nonstop stomach problems and my relationship with my family is decreasing and they're resenting me and i even lost my dog i had for 7 years. so many things keep happening but i know it's because i have to pay and i understand that.
backstory on why this made such an impact: i grew up as a lie. i lied to my family i lied to my friends. i lied to be liked in school and i always tried to be something i am not. when i met her i tried to put these lies behind me and bury my past and what i was and i deleted alot of stuff and quit my porn addiction because i really wanted something with her. but she found out about my past one day and i lied to cover it up and these lies only came back and i ended up breaking her trust again and again to the point where she thought things that were never happening. i know im a liar and a bad person but i was never a cheater or unfaithful to her. i've always genuinely liked her and how she looked and i had everything i wanted. i didn't need to cheat or find other girls because i had one and she was all that i wanted. i even made it clear to here that the relationship wasn't about sex because if we ever stopped having it i'd still love her. but i couldn't be understanding and reassuring with her and i messed up so much and i made it seem like i was lying to her again even though i wasnt. and her last relationship was full of lies and she was manipulated and she regrets going back to him after the fact she knew how he was. and this is the scenario i am in right now. what we had was real love and it was beautiful but i messed it up and destroyed it badly. and she doesn't want to disappoint her past self by doing the same thing she did with her ex because she's afraid of getting hurt again. she can't trust me anymore. she doesn't believe that we could fix it again. she doesn't believe that i liked her and that i was attracted to her. she believes i was out there getting crushes and talking to other women and she believes i did it to make her jealous and that i have a type of girl i like and it's not her. she thinks i led her on this whole time but when i ask "then why am i still here" there's no answer because im not doing this out of pity or attachment. i truly loved her and how she looked. she doesn't believe attractions change and that people can change. she's so focused that we can't have what we had before because it's too different now. i just don't know what to do and im full of regret.
so sometime later i gave her her space and just rotted away in my room missing what i destroyed. one day something compelled me to go to the store and i saw her there. i went up to her and she wanted to talk so i agreed and we went to the park to talk. she tried to break up with me in person that day but couldn't and later that night she texted me that we'd break up in person rather than through text because we're adults. so some time later we kept seeing eachother a bit and talking. we even ended up going to the place i rented for our anniversary just out of a spontaneous decision because she felt a comfort in being around me even though it hurts her. that day we ended up doing a lot of stuff and being intimate with each other and acting like normal. the only words that came out while we were doing it were "i love you" from both of us and it was so passionate and real and it felt like what we had before. we acted normal after that and spent the night and watched movies and cuddled and just talked like nothing at all happened. we were smiling and cracking jokes and just having a good time. it was the same. i didn't want to take her home because i knew it would end though. and that it was all just a dream. and it did end. we decided to be on a break for now and we still talk and sometimes even have fun like we used to but nothing romantically yet. we even started making out the other day but then like a few days later she gets reminded of everything and doesn't talk to me again. and i get she's in her feeling and i understand what i did and that she deserves better but i want to be that better. i want to change for her and show her that i wont hurt her again. but she's afraid. she can't trust me anymore and she's afraid to try again because she loved me she genuinely loved me and she looks for me in the person i am now and she can't "find him" and she believes things will never be the same again and that it won't work but she can't leave because it's too painful. BUT i feel like it can be the same... all those moments we had they were like nothing happened. it's still there within us. our love is still there and i know it is but she's afraid of doing it again and disappointing her past self. like we've been calling and acting normal even though we keep thing the same thing and it keeps bothering us. i feel regret and pain and she feels the pain too because she loved me. i don't know what to do. i know the best for us is probably to just leave it and go our separate ways but i can't. i do love her still and i want to be better for her. for my family. a better person in general. i know i can be the better for her and i don't want to give up. and she doesn't want to give up because she loved me but she also doesn't want her emotions to get in the way of what she should do. i don't know. this is a just a big rant i don't know if its a good idea to post it or if anyone will read this far. i just miss her so much. i miss what we were. i miss how happy we were. this kind and good hearted girl loved me and has showed me so much. she was my first for a lot of things. and my first actual commitment to a relationship. she took my virginity aswell but those are not the reasons i want to stay with her. i want to stay because i love her. i really love her and it just begs the question "why did you do it?" and i don't know. it eats me up inside and i can't take it i DONT know and i wish i could take it all back. i want to start over. i want a time machine. i want her. she loved me and i destroyed what i loved the most. my life hasn't been the same since then and so many bad things keep happening to me but i know it's for a reason. how can i regain her trust? is that even possible? i dont know what to do. i know she needs time but will she ever see that i do want to change? that change is possible and i don't want to hurt her anymore? i regret it all. why couldn't i just be more understanding and reassuring and been good to her. how could i be so foolish. if i just kept my stupid thoughts quiet and kept my mouth shut we could've gone to therapy or something. i messed up really bad.
thank you for reading. i feel so lost

Before we start, allow me to lay all my cards onto the table: No, this is not me bashing Stellar Blade, just Eve's character (or lack there of). No, this is not going to be a "Culture War" fest or whatever, go find a Marvel movie to complain about. Yes, I am a Bayonetta stan. No, I did not play the game, but I've watched playthroughs and I'm not talking about gameplay anyway. Ok?
So Eve Stellar Blade is the new It girl that's been causing a stir with her "sexy" boobs and butt and it's all talk of the town and la de da. There's people saying she's a "fighting fuckdoll trope", there's men putting her on their anti woke pedstal and saying she's the chosen one that's going restore the world back to the good old days and kill the left like Sydney Sweetie's chest or whatever, and everything in between.
Well I, the local contrarian, have chosen the position to say she's barely sexy at all. Now, is she sexualized, are her developers pushing her into sex symbol status? Yes, that comes with the territory of her defult clothes being Ned Flanders Ski suit and her unlockable outfits including pin up girl cosplay. But is Eve Stellar Blade sexy? The answer is no and here's why:
1) We've seen this before
Oh boy, a woman in spandex so tight she almost looks like she's wearing nothing at all! There's only like 100 other female characters who do that!!
Eve Stellar Blade needs to fire her wardrobe manager because her design is boring AF, just the tried and true Si-Fi spandex that every other girl has worn before. Sad thing is, her unlockable outfits that give her a cute, baggy jacket make her one million times more appealing than the sexy outfit version of cardbord box that she's wearing.
2) She has zero personality
So the worst part of this whole culture war surrounding Eve Stellar Blade is I've been seeing people compare her to Bayonetta and like, first of all, keep the queen's name out your mouth. She's sleeping.
Second of all, forgive my tone but Bayonetta cannot be compared to any old raggedy trick. She is Bayonetta . Everything about her, from her clothes, to her hair, to her personality, to her name , it all demands you pay attention to her. Bayonetta is a stripper dominatrix witch with the personality to match. There has never been a leading lady in gaming like her before, and there most likely won't be another after her. No. Comparison. But even if there was a new girl that tried to take the queen's throne, it ain't Even Steven Blonde.
Quick question, type one quote, something iconic that came from Eve Stellar Blade's mouth. Cuz I can think of several from Bayonetta, byt I'll wait.
Back on track, Sexy is more than just your looks, it's how you carry yourself. You think the reason why all the girlies are thirsting after corpse man from Fallout is because they have a no nose fetish??? No!!! It's because that guy is charming and endlessly confident. Bayonetta is charming, endlessly confident, and the baddest bitch of every room she ever walked into.
What does Even Stellar Blade do, other than rely on her looks to secure anti wokers? I'll tell you what, nothing!! She has zero personality, zero charisma, zero prescence, her aesthetic is looking like an airbrushed Korean model in Spandex, and her greatest assets aretried and true gainaxing that's been in every game ever! Yall are comparing this girl to Bayonetta when Mother brought you disappearing clothes AND monstergirls? I'd ask you to raise your standards, but worshipping Even Steven requires you not have any anyway.

TL;DR

Eve Stellar Blade is a bitch and Bayonetta's son. She is also the J Lo of video game girls.

My wife's sister Eva has always been the center of attention. She is very self centered and is obsessed with romanticizing her life to her own detriment. She refuses to take a job that she isn't passionate about and has bounced around various countries traveling for the last 8ish years. This wasn't a huge deal, but several years ago, she was impregnated by and married a 20 year old guy.
My wife has always been the responsible one in her family. She raised her other nephew for the first few years of his life because her other sister Dina had severe postpartum depression. Additionally, her parents went through a messy divorce and she had to care for her sisters a lot growing up, so she’s “the responsible one”.
Eva always says that no one has ever helped her and she's always had to do everything herself. That is far from true. She is the kid’s primary caregiver, so I’ll give her credit, but she is by no means raising him alone. She relies heavily on her family for money and childcare. Eva’s father regularly flies her out to see him, paying for everything and also sends her money. Her husband’s family also sends her money monthly. Her mother flies out to her and assists with childcare every month or so for sometimes weeks at a time. My wife flew out when she gave birth, helped with caring for both her and the child afterwards, and none of them to my knowledge ever received a thank you. She thanks them by constantly telling them they need to step up and do more. It's never enough. I'm fully convinced that her family could all care for her 24/7 and she would still tell them they weren't doing enough because she’s fundamentally unhappy and blames everyone else for it.
Her relationship with the child's dad has been rocky from the beginning. She doesn't want to be with him, but she also doesn't want him seeing other people. He’s always seemed like an okay dad, though he travels for his job, so he’s gone for days or weeks at a time. Also like I said, he was basically a teenager when they met, so he doesn’t have much in terms of a career or experience. When he’s home, she tells him he needs to work because they need money. When he works she tells him they need him at home. They live overseas so they do have some free childcare, but she says that it’s not enough time to allow her a part time job.
So yeah, things have never been great and it’s no secret I don’t really like being around her. She’s a pleasant enough person to talk to (most of the time,) but she’s such a chaotic presence that any time we’re with her, I’m on edge. Her family feels the same.
Things came to a head recently when Eva’s husband finally had enough and essentially told her that he can’t make her happy and they need to live separate lives and co-parent. Every time my wife visits them, they inevitably end up screaming at each other, so we all think this is for the best. He’s not the best dad, but he’s far from the worst. He’s also pretty self-centered and romanticizes his life similar to her. Now that they’re breaking up though, she’s accusing him of abuse, though I’m unclear what she’s specifically accusing him of. Since she’s started with those allegations, she’ll also backtrack on them, alternating between being angry that her family won’t support her in her abusive situation, and then being angry that he isn’t around more to help and telling them that she needs him home more. It’s also worth mentioning that her definition of abuse has stretched to saying that her friend abused her by giving someone else a job that they were supposed to give her. Additionally, she was previously diagnosed as a teen for being schizophrenic. I don’t know much about schizophrenia, but she definitely has something going on mentally, though to me it’s more what I imagine BPD or bi-polar to look like. She seemingly floats between multiple different versions of reality, and fully convinces herself that whichever version she’s in right now is the only one there is and ever has been. She’s open to therapy which her family has encouraged and said they’d pay for, but she won’t do the work of actually finding a therapist.
So, now she’s in a custody battle with the father which she’s predictably not handling well. He wanted to move into another apartment in their complex and she refused, saying he’ll be too close. Then she’s refusing to give him the two items from their apartment that he wanted to keep for himself. She’s always been very vindictive once she decides that someone has wronged her. When asked to actually draw up a custody agreement that she’ll agree to she won’t, presumably because she prefers shifting goalposts and not having something that people can hold her to.
It’s new drama every day. She’s constantly berating her parents and sisters for not doing enough for them and “siding with her abuser” when they try and do anything productive with the joint custody discussions. Honestly if it wasn’t for her child, I don’t think they’d put up with it, but everyone is concerned for the kid. He’s so sweet and they don’t want him cut out of their lives. They try to walk a fine line of influencing what they can while stopping short of telling her the whole truth, that she’s the one that’s being unreasonable most of the time. Honestly they’re probably some of the few stable presences in the kid’s life, so they want to make sure they stay in it.
My wife has asked what I think, but I don’t have a great answer. I know generally it’s best to not cater to the demands of someone so toxic and unwell, and by not fully calling her on her shit, they’re enabling her to some degree. On the other hand, they’re right that if they did call her on her shit, she would burn them and likely cut them out of the child’s life. Even if the court battle gets nasty, I don’t see her getting less than 50% custody of the kid. She’s been his primary caregiver and while it’s probably not a great environment mentally for him, it’s not anything that the courts would separate a family over. In general, she’s not a bad mom and doesn’t mistreat the kid from what I’ve seen, though she will weaponize him against the father.
All this is taking a mental toll on my wife, but she’s decided to do what she can to ensure the best outcome for her nephew given the circumstances. So she does what she can to try and influence from the sidelines while also walking on egg-shells trying not to piss off her sister too much. It would be much better for her mentally if she stopped interacting and participating in her sister’s drama, but again, there’s the kid to worry about. She’s tried just engaging less and her sister takes it the same as if she’d disagree with her. Anyone have any advice with how to approach this? What can I do to support her?
tldr; wife's sister is unstable and treats her family poorly but they're forced to cater to her to stay involved her her child's life. What do?

Yes, Sombra is the most hated character in OW and for good reason. Her character design is meant to be annoying at best and hair-pulling at its worst.
She's an assassin with soft CC, out of combat invisibility and essentially an omni-directional dash.
Alot of players find her annoying in all roles. Supports get focused and harassed, DPS get ganked and forced off highground, and Tanks get their defensive abilities and some ults cancelled or prevented.
And, in my opinion, that is okay.
Her kit is frustrating when executed well, but I don't believe its out of reason. Yes, if you throw out the words "Infinite Stealth" or "Silence+Burst Damage" than alot of people start lighting on fire.
But that stealth is only used to reposition, she isnt killing you while invisible and as of later seasons, isnt hacking you while keeping invis either. And staying in stealth indefinetly is actually detrimental to her since she's essentially making the game a 4v5 for her team. Also, spychecking exists.
As my argument though, Sombra plays a critical role in teaching players the importance of awareness and tracking, and how valuable information truly is. Keeping tabs enemy locations, positioning in hard to approach areas, and avoiding bad habits like tunnel vision are all lessons alot of players need to learn in order to improve.
And Sombra emphasizes that more than any character in the game because she wants your attention and wants to keep you confused and upset while she messes up your gameplans.
Other characters do this too to varying extremes. Reaper, Tracer, Wrecking Ball, Lúcio, and Genji all want to approach from off angles quickly to catch people off guard. And the way you deal with those characters is keeping your team aware and focused. Peel for yourself and your teammates, expect incoming abilities like Death Blossom or Piledrive, and ping those flankers if you catch a glimpse of them nearby and chase them down if you have an advantage.
It's not the most fun thing to do sometimes, but it's part of the work that needs to be done to get better at the game. And you're free to hate Sombra sure, but I don't think her kit is a problem to be fixed by devs but to be adapted to by the community.

My wife's sister Eva has always been the center of attention. She is very self centered and is obsessed with romanticizing her life to her own detriment. She refuses to take a job that she isn't passionate about and has bounced around various countries traveling for the last 8ish years. This wasn't a huge deal, but several years ago, she was impregnated by and married a 20 year old guy.
My wife has always been the responsible one in her family. She raised her other nephew for the first few years of his life because her other sister Dina had severe postpartum depression. Additionally, her parents went through a messy divorce and she had to care for her sisters a lot growing up, so she’s “the responsible one”.
Eva always says that no one has ever helped her and she's always had to do everything herself. That is far from true. She is the kid’s primary caregiver, so I’ll give her credit, but she is by no means raising him alone. She relies heavily on her family for money and childcare. Eva’s father regularly flies her out to see him, paying for everything and also sends her money. Her husband’s family also sends her money monthly. Her mother flies out to her and assists with childcare every month or so for sometimes weeks at a time. My wife flew out when she gave birth, helped with caring for both her and the child afterwards, and none of them to my knowledge ever received a thank you. She thanks them by constantly telling them they need to step up and do more. It's never enough. I'm fully convinced that her family could all care for her 24/7 and she would still tell them they weren't doing enough because she’s fundamentally unhappy and blames everyone else for it.
Her relationship with the child's dad has been rocky from the beginning. She doesn't want to be with him, but she also doesn't want him seeing other people. He’s always seemed like an okay dad, though he travels for his job, so he’s gone for days or weeks at a time. Also like I said, he was basically a teenager when they met, so he doesn’t have much in terms of a career or experience. When he’s home, she tells him he needs to work because they need money. When he works she tells him they need him at home. They live overseas so they do have some free childcare, but she says that it’s not enough time to allow her a part time job.
So yeah, things have never been great and it’s no secret I don’t really like being around her. She’s a pleasant enough person to talk to (most of the time,) but she’s such a chaotic presence that any time we’re with her, I’m on edge. Her family feels the same.
Things came to a head recently when Eva’s husband finally had enough and essentially told her that he can’t make her happy and they need to live separate lives and co-parent. Every time my wife visits them, they inevitably end up screaming at each other, so we all think this is for the best. He’s not the best dad, but he’s far from the worst. He’s also pretty self-centered and romanticizes his life similar to her. Now that they’re breaking up though, she’s accusing him of abuse, though I’m unclear what she’s specifically accusing him of. Since she’s started with those allegations, she’ll also backtrack on them, alternating between being angry that her family won’t support her in her abusive situation, and then being angry that he isn’t around more to help and telling them that she needs him home more. It’s also worth mentioning that her definition of abuse has stretched to saying that her friend abused her by giving someone else a job that they were supposed to give her. Additionally, she was previously diagnosed as a teen for being schizophrenic. I don’t know much about schizophrenia, but she definitely has something going on mentally, though to me it’s more what I imagine BPD or bi-polar to look like. She seemingly floats between multiple different versions of reality, and fully convinces herself that whichever version she’s in right now is the only one there is and ever has been. She’s open to therapy which her family has encouraged and said they’d pay for, but she won’t do the work of actually finding a therapist.
So, now she’s in a custody battle with the father which she’s predictably not handling well. He wanted to move into another apartment in their complex and she refused, saying he’ll be too close. Then she’s refusing to give him the two items from their apartment that he wanted to keep for himself. She’s always been very vindictive once she decides that someone has wronged her. When asked to actually draw up a custody agreement that she’ll agree to she won’t, presumably because she prefers shifting goalposts and not having something that people can hold her to.
It’s new drama every day. She’s constantly berating her parents and sisters for not doing enough for them and “siding with her abuser” when they try and do anything productive with the joint custody discussions. Honestly if it wasn’t for her child, I don’t think they’d put up with it, but everyone is concerned for the kid. He’s so sweet and they don’t want him cut out of their lives. They try to walk a fine line of influencing what they can while stopping short of telling her the whole truth, that she’s the one that’s being unreasonable most of the time. Honestly they’re probably some of the few stable presences in the kid’s life, so they want to make sure they stay in it.
My wife has asked what I think, but I don’t have a great answer. I know generally it’s best to not cater to the demands of someone so toxic and unwell, and by not fully calling her on her shit, they’re enabling her to some degree. On the other hand, they’re right that if they did call her on her shit, she would burn them and likely cut them out of the child’s life. Even if the court battle gets nasty, I don’t see her getting less than 50% custody of the kid. She’s been his primary caregiver and while it’s probably not a great environment mentally for him, it’s not anything that the courts would separate a family over. In general, she’s not a bad mom and doesn’t mistreat the kid from what I’ve seen, though she will weaponize him against the father.
All this is taking a mental toll on my wife, but she’s decided to do what she can to ensure the best outcome for her nephew given the circumstances. So she does what she can to try and influence from the sidelines while also walking on egg-shells trying not to piss off her sister too much. It would be much better for her mentally if she stopped interacting and participating in her sister’s drama, but again, there’s the kid to worry about. She’s tried just engaging less and her sister takes it the same as if she’d disagree with her. Anyone have any advice with how to approach this? What can I do to support her?
tldr; wife's sister is unstable and treats her family poorly but they're forced to cater to her to stay involved her her child's life. What do?

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hello again! I’m not sure if you’ve seen my other posts about a fandom roleplay but this one is gonna be about any roleplay in general, fandoms included. This’ll be pretty detailed and I’ll let you know the parts if you want to skip ahead (I suggest you don’t). If you don’t wanna read all of this, then don’t. This was made for people willing to read blocks of paragraphs and maybe even respond with their own.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I hail from Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
GENRES + FANDOM
I am not looking for a specific roleplay. I would say i’m skilled in all genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, horror, apocalypse. All of that. Even slice of life, though that depends on what type of plot exactly. To be more specific on each genre, starting off with fantasy, I'm more used to high fantasy and mythology. I’m not that great with medieval, unfortunately. DnD based role plays aren’t really fit for me and I struggle playing with species like ogres. Just putting that out here. For fantasy, I don’t have any specific ideas.
Sci-fi is the genre I have more skill in. Most of my roleplays are based off of them! Specifically, I’m fine with all subgenres of that.
For other genres like horror and apocalypse, I do have some taste. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and all of that and I even have my own idea set up in older times dealing with vampire lords and hunters and all of that. I also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like that one sun genre of it, like video game horror? I’m not sure how to describe it. I also forgot if it even has an official name or if it’s just something used to describe the horror genre. I like Resident Evil, so maybe that’ll tell you the type of horror I usually enjoy. I do have a developed idea of something more eldritch horror.
More on fandoms! To get some other things down, I usually only play OC unless the character you want me to play is one I know more about and I'm more comfortable playing. The fandoms I like in the more anime way are Jojo’s, Nana, Death Note, JJK, AOT, Haikyuu, and probably more. I’m well versed in the Jojo’s, Aot, and JJK fandoms but less knowledgeable on Death Note since i’ve only seen it once. Other fandoms i’m in include ATLA, TLOK, Harry Potter, Resident Evil, Marvel, DC, and many more.
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕