I went back and re-read one of your last letters... and I'm still stuck. "I appreciate that you're interested, but come on..." Except... "Does she like you?" and then "How much does she like you?" Maybe it's just my betrayal wounding, keeping me rooted in a problem that doesn't need to be one. You clearly got something out of the signals you sent or you wouldn't have done so. That doesn't have to mean anything. You didn't owe me. But we were friends, and you essentially played games with my heart, and that does mean something. It means a great deal to me because I've already been betrayed by so many.
You didn't know a lot of this, because we didn't ever really go that deep. I would have wanted to, but you never showed any interest in asking me the same kinds of personal questions I asked you in the beginning. I realize looking back that the information about me you did have was volunteered. And that tracks with what you said about your lack of attachment. Repression, disinterest, perception of being a third wheel. Why bother to feel if you believe your feelings will never be reciprocated? I know that feeling... except you put me on the receiving end because of your inability to connect to and manage yourself, and now I have to deal with that.
I realize how toxic my reactions to you were. How I jumped into fixing when I should have been taking a step back and letting you figure it out. And I get how that escalated things. That's something I have to work on, and forgive myself for. That's an issue in itself. It doesn't mitigate the game playing though. You didn't have to ...
It just hurts, I guess. I'm realizing part of that is shame, for not being more aware. Man after man has misled me about their intentions and instead of being more mindful of that, I hung on every word, every hint, rationalizing the mixed signals and hot and cold nonsense. One day, making me blush, the next, nowhere to be found or saying offensive stuff, refusing to apologize, and disappearing for a bit, only to come back and act like nothing happened a day or two later. It's maddening. I know better. But I was enamoured of you, and so attached, so I overlooked and made excuses and tried to fix, so I wouldn't have to say goodbye, and all I really did was magnify my own pain when it inevitably hit that this was convenient for you, pleasurable in the comfortable, distant way Internet connections can be, but it didn't really impact your every day life. Not like it did mine. I was looking for something in you that I should have been finding in myself. I'm an idealist, a romantic, and letting go of the idea of a great love is hard for me. There was so much about you that seemed familiar to me. I thought we had more in common than we do.
I don't really know what I'm getting at here. The fundamental core of this sentiment is you hurt me, and you didn't have to. I own my own shit. And I can see that you struggle to figure everything out, that you're trying to get better, and I appreciate that. But... you hurt me, and you didn't have to. I know you said sorry for leading me on. But all that about "mistakenly talking about" your "confusion" and telling me that I "can be very engaging"... so it's my fault? I mean, thanks for the compliment, but I really don't understand what that means. When I feel lonely and sad I return to that letter again and again, not to wallow, but because I feel tied in knots over how nonsensical some of it is. It's nobody's fault if you lead someone on except yours. It doesn't matter if they're a solid 10 (and I'm not, but let's go hyperbolic to slide the point home, shall we?). The responsibility for your behavior lays with you, just like mine does with me. I could be Aphrodite incarnate (I'm not) and you would still bear the sole responsibility for how you approached me. It doesn't matter that I'm a certain way, the only person who confused you is you. And if you had wanted to talk about it, I mean actually, really talk about it, I'd have held space. But to shame me for not being more forward when you weren't even sure you wanted me to be interested in the first place, only to tell me my interest is misplaced, and apologize for leading me on while distancing yourself from actually having done so... It's all so much circular, self indulgent bullshit.
And it isn't really that this one thing is coloring my entire experience of you... or that it's this world shattering big deal. It's not. I think I am fixated on that specifically because it hits on so many other experiences where men felt I was a sort of commodity to value or discard as they pleased, without regard for how it affected my well being. "I didn't mean to hurt you" doesn't always mean "I actively kept your wellbeing in mind, but I made mistakes and that hurt you, and I'm sorry". Sometimes, it means "I wasn't actively thinking about not hurting you." I'm sure you can see the difference in those two statements.
I suppose I could look inward, because when I was triggered by your outbursts and your lack of accountability, and later, your abandonment, I certainly wasn't thinking about your wellbeing. When I went NC the only aspect of you I was thinking about was the behavior and lack of good good faith I needed to protect myself from. I see how some of that is exaggerated. When you're not melting down, you're actually quite earnest. You said you don't attach, yet on multiple occasions you've demonstrated premeditated consideration. You can be quite thoughtful. Charming, sweet, earnest, provocative even (not in the antagonistic way, though you're very good at that, too).
You already said I deserved better. I don't know what I'm looking for here. It just hurts. It hurts, and it didn't have to.

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Short version — Anyone’s mom act weird when you told them you bought a test kit to take, but the results ended up showing your dad was still your bio-dad?
Long version — I’ve always been kind of against tests like Ancestry due to concerns about privacy regarding DNA. But after 4 years of hardore researching I think it’s the best bet for my maternal side to try to find more relatives. (Her side has been heavily affected by war, poverty, generational trauma…somewhat of a disconnected group) My mom has always been so thankful / super Interested in any research I found for her & my Dad’s (although she & my dad have never been together during my lifetime). However, she texted me Sunday asking what I got for Mother’s Day. I told her the kit as gift from my husband as he knows how hard I’ve worked on developing her side of the tree, but once I get past her great-great grandpa it’s just hard to confirm info. She only replied with — “Why am I getting this message?” Confused I explained again about wanting to find relatives on her side & all she responded was: “You said you weren’t interested in a DNA test. So why would you do this??” Sooo I responded again that really I’m only interested in an attempt to see if I am on the right track. She read it & didn’t reply (WEIRD for my mom) it’s now Wednesday…still no response.
Background — I never liked the guy she claimed was my bio dad. Only met him once as a young kid then again in my teens. During my teens I tried to have a relationship w him, but he was seriously such an ass…asked me for gas money when I had a flat tire so he drove me 20 minutes to school…I was 16! 🤣 But I have had a relationship with his family who all dislike him as well due to stealing from his grandparents (most haven’t talked to him in 30+ years, I’m 34). If the test revealed he likely (or definitely) wasn’t my bio-dad…. I can’t imagine it being earth shattering info for me. Although I’m not sure I would tell his mom at this point because she’s 78. We have been close for most of my life, I’ve even lived with her off & on throughout my teens / early 20s. I think with her personality it would wreck her (more on that later).
Now I also realize my mom may be acting like this because of things like her relation to her side of the family. I think it’s highly unlikely her change in behavior is because I was adopted because my parents were minors 15 & 16 when I was born. I also have her pregnancy / L&D pics. I guess I’m only wondering if this change in behavior may have to do with my dad’s paternity for two reasons:

1. My step-dad who raised me my whole life found out he wasn’t the father of my younger half-brother in 2016. My mom was livid when they found out. I had always heard suspicions growing up my brother wasn’t my step-dads because they were separated when they conceived. I was 6 at the time & remembered my mom going on dates…then all the sudden she was back with my step-dad acting like he was the love of her life….6 months later my brother was born. She claimed to my brother she always knew that wasn’t his dad but never apologized. Just blamed him for taking the test.
   
2. My grandma I’m so close with (bio-dad’s mom) said she refused to see me in person for months after birth because she thought my mom was cheating on my dad when they conceived me. Also, she said from pics she saw I “looked nothing like him”. Then after seeing me in person she “fell in love” & “could see a resemblance” lol.
   

Anyways, just curious if anyone had mentioned this before to their parent / family & noticed relatives started acting off…then you found out you had different relatives, or perhaps there was no info to be found.

"What is it with bad guys and being completely full of themselves? Montague's plan might possibly screw over Helios Island if his attack on Mount Olympus was something to go off of. And it appears he's getting as much help as he can. Staging a mutiny within the pantheon, conspiring to retake control of Helios Island... What else does Montague know that Willow and I don't? Well... I guess we'll find out soon enough, and it all starts from what the Greek Mythology would call a storied hero." Within Reckless Railways, at a local restaurant, Ableton Rinzler, Willow, Splode, and Deimos are all sitting at a table with both Aphrodite and Poseidon. Splode looks at Ableton and Willow and questions them. "So... Care to explain what's going on here? I'm kinda confused about everything that's happening right now, aside from those crazy armored guys attacking our home earlier." Ableton turns to Splode and answers him. "From what I can understand, Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the people of Helios Island. Aphrodite and Poseidon first tried to appease Zeus by restoring the constellations to the Statue of Atlas in Mount Olympus, which didn't work. Alongside that, Montague is also planning who knows what with this whole Greek ordeal. He's begun recruiting various gods to try and take the pantheon down. Whatever he's planning, it doesn't seem good." Poseidon looks at everyone and speaks. "Alright. So everything seems kinda bad now, with that mortal recruiting gods against the pantheon. But there still is one bigger mystery. That being Pandora's Box. After it opened, and the troubles and woes were cast onto Helios Island, it suddenly went dormant. If the mortal's plan to defeat Zeus fails, he could turn to Pandora's Box as a last resort. After all, he has Medusa with him, and she's very familiar with the magic behind Pandora's Box." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon with fear and responds. "Then that means that the mortal might bring something worse onto the island. Something that might challenge Zeus on a cosmic level. Something ancient... and evil..." Ableton looks at Aphrodite and responds to her. "I got someone who can help out with our little problem with Montague." The group then leaves the restaurant, as they begin venturing towards the edges of Helios Island. From the rooftops of Reckless Railways, Montague and Medusa are overseeing the group's plan. "So those two think they can stop me? They will certainly be halted in their tracks." Medusa turns to Montague and speaks to him. "I've always loathed Zeus... But his time grows short. Together, we will make it shorter. Over the years he's surrounded himself with powerful items. A gauche show of his absolute rule. Fortunately for us, they're not his items. Most of them were made by me. Stolen from me. I think it's about time we reclaim my property, don't you?" Montague chuckles, as he holds the Shadebox in his hands. "We hold the key to starting a Greek Tragedy! Once Zeus and his pantheon are dealt with, I will soon be able to rebuild The Society and rule over Helios Island once more!" As Montague and Medusa slowly advance towards Mount Olympus, Medusa speaks to Montague. "Perseus will deal with those troubling mortals you desperately despise." Over near the edge of Helios Island, past Snooty Steppes, the group arrives at an unmarked house. Willow looks at Ableton and speaks. "This is the place, right?" Rinzler faces Willow and answers her. "It should be. Silas did say he and his Rogues ransacked a house near the edge of the island. This has to be the place he was talking about." Splode looks at Ableton and responds to him. "Alright! Let's get the party started!" Splode walks up to the door and knocks hard. Katt's voice is heard, as she speaks up. "Who's there? We're currently closed at the moment." Ableton walks towards the door and responds. "It's Ableton Rinzler. We're here to see Silas Hesk, if he's around." The door opens, as Katt walks out. "Silas is a little busy, but I'll see if he's open for anything." Everyone enters the house, as it is filled with crates, all of which are filled with weapons and ammunition. Katt knocks on a door, marked with an ouroboros, as she speaks. "Silas! Your two favorite clients are here!" The door opens, as Silas speaks up. "I can tell by the look on your faces that something's up." Ableton looks at Silas and speaks. "There's currently some conflict going on among the Greek Gods that currently inhabit Helios Island. A large chunk of which was caused because of Montague. You wouldn't happen to know how to stop a god... or several of them." Silas looks at Ableton and answers him. "I have done many bounties within my criminal career, but not one against a god." Aphrodite looks at Silas and responds. "But we're not trying to kill my father, but to quell his judgement." Poseidon then backs up Aphrodite, as he walks forward. "Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the mortals of this island, and this crazed mortal seeks to take advantage of this. He's taken steps necessary to supposedly start a tragedy among the pantheon." Silas facepalms and responds. "Of course Montague would go to such lengths. He's probably pissed about The Society losing control of Helios Island that he's resorting to such measures. I'll lend my services to your cause." Silas then turns to Lana Llane and speaks. "Lana! We got a job to do." Lana grabs her Striker AR and assists the group in their plan. Once they exit the house, Aphrodite is quick to notice the glowing blue eyes on the statue over at Mount Olympus. She turns to everyone and speaks. "Something's happening at Mount Olympus, and it doesn't look good." Deimos looks at Aphrodite and responds. "Great... Just another problem to deal with..." A faint DMR shot is heard, as Poseidon reacts. "Everyone! Watch out! Someone must've followed us!" Over near one of The Society's forecast towers, Perseus scopes in with his Huntress DMR, as he aims for Aphrodite. "Let's see Zeus mourn the death of his beloved daughter. Medusa and the mortal cannot be stopped." Perseus fires another shot, as Poseidon puts his hand in front of Aphrodite's face. The bullet gets stuck in Poseidon's hand, as he quickly pulls it out. "Distant combat... This must be the work of Perseus, the Storied Hero." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon and questions him. "Why would he ally himself with Medusa and the mortal?" Ableton faces Aphrodite and answers her question. "Because Montague and Medusa likely promised him something if they succeeded in ending Zeus' rule." Poseidon notices a structure right near Pleasant Piazza, as he yells out. "To that structure! We can try to see what the scrying pool foretells over there." Everyone begins running towards the structure, as Perseus continues firing shots at the group and missing. They eventually reach the scrying pool, as Silas and Lana begin fending off Perseus' attack. Aphrodite yells out to the scrying pool in a worried tone. "What is going on at Mount Olympus? Why is the statue brimming with Zeus' power?" The scrying pool bubbles up, as it then shows an apparition of Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass. Ableton looks at the apparition and responds. "An hourglass? What could this mean?" Poseidon responds with fear. "Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass! It brims with Zeus' energy. If Perseus is here, then the other gods working with the mortal are likely commencing an assault on Mount Olympus." Aphrodite looks at the scrying poll and yells again. "Where is Hades and Cerberus?!" The scrying pool then projects Helios Island within the water, as both Hades and Cerberus appear to be marching through Reckless Railways on their way to Mount Olympus. Aphrodite looks at Ableton and Willow and yells. "We need to get to Mount Olympus! If the mortal is over there, he will doom us all if he gets Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass." The group then makes their way to Mount Olympus, while under heavy pursuit by Perseus. Over at Mount Olympus, hell has broken loose. Several of Zeus' minions attempt to protect the main palace, but are quickly shot down by Ares. Artemis and Apollo try to hold back Medusa, while Montague opens the Shadebox and unleashes the souls within, contaminating all the water within Mount Olympus. The souls from the Shadebox begin tampering with the water, almost matching the same composition as the River Styx. Medusa knocks down both Artemis and Apollo, as both Hades and Cerberus arrive at the battle. Montague points at the main palace and yells. "Time to dethrone Zeus and claim my rightful power!" Everyone then runs towards the palace, as they collectively confront Zeus. Montague holds up the Challenger's Staff and opposes Zeus. "Your reign over Helios Island will end, blunder god!" The group then begins their attack on Zeus, as he begins holding everyone back with several bolts of lightning. Ableton and the group arrive at Mount Olympus, as Aphrodite quickly spots both Artemis and Apollo, who are wounded from Montague's attack on Mount Olympus. Aphrodite runs towards the two and speaks. "What happened to you two?" Artemis shrivels her response to Aphrodite, as she points to the main palace. "The mortal has recruited gods to threaten Zeus' rule. Your father can't hold him back for long." A stray lightning bolt flies out of the palace, as Poseidon reacts. "We gotta get to the palace!" Everyone rushes towards the palace, as they witness Montague using the Challenger's Staff to weaken Zeus. Aphrodite yells in fear, as both Silas and Lana begin firing at Montague. Medusa and Ares protect Montague, while he tries to collect the Stormforged Hourglass from Zeus. Splode tosses some Cluster Clingers at the opposing group, until Hades shoots them out of the air with his Harbinger SMG. Cerberus fires his Gatekeeper Shotgun into the group, as Montague yells out to Ableton and Willow. "You've toiled my affairs for the last time." Montague kicks the now weakened Zeus towards Aphrodite, as he pulls out the Stormforged Hourglass. "Now! Terminal power is mine to wield! Watch as I use my newfound power to take back Helios Island and rebuild my Society!" Montague's hands now brim with lightning, as he holds the Stormforged Hourglass in the air. Lightning spews from his hand, as storm clouds form above Montague. Medusa nods at Montague, as he begins manipulating the lightning to strike near Restored Reels. The storm clouds clear, as Willow looks at Montague. "What did you do?" Montague looks at Willow without answering her, as Ableton yells. "What the hell did you do?!" Montague points to the door, as both groups head outside. Over at Restored Reels, Pandora's Box has been heavily damaged by the lightning Montague charged up. Ableton looks behind him and yells. "Montague, you little..." Both Montague and Medusa get away, as Aphrodite speaks. "What did the mortal do?" Hades faces Aphrodite and responds. "He and Medusa tricked us. He wanted power, but not just to defeat Zeus. He seeks to awaken the Titan." Deimos looks at Hades and reacts. "The what?" Poseidon helps Zeus up, as he answers Deimos. "The Titan resides within Pandora's Box. A partial piece of him escaped when the mortal first opened Pandora's Box. Now that it's damaged, he and Medusa now have a chance to unleash true ancient evil. And with Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass, the mortal now has a means to an end." Cerberus faces Aphrodite, Ableton, and Willow and speaks. "If the mortal isn't stopped, he will awaken the Titan and doom the island and Zeus' pantheon. All this to establish what he would call his perfect Society." Aphrodite and Poseidon face the group with urgency and yells. "To Restored Reels! We gotta stop that mortal from awakening the Titan!" Splode faces Aphrodite and speaks. "But can we make a stop first? I kinda need Ableton and Willow to drop me off for my afternoon TV binging." Ableton facepalms and responds to Splode. "Fine, we'll take you back and grab Stratus for this. We just gotta stop Montague before he dooms us all... again." Everyone all runs out of Mount Olympus, as the skies slowly turn black. True godlike power wasn't just normally stolen, it was elaborately stolen with destructive intent. Montague, now having powers of a god, will do anything it takes for him to rebuild The Society. Even potentially putting the entirety of Helios Island at risk, again. Oh well. Just another problem for Willow and I to solve. The secrets of Pandora's Box seeks to break free. To awaken true ancient evil.

A fanfiction of The Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/u19xpa/the_nature_of_predators/
Previous Prologue Next
Memory Transcription Subject: Slanek, Venlil Space Corps
Date [standardized Earth time]: August 21, 2136
Walking into the lab, we were welcomed by a Pokemon that looked oddly familiar to me, a pink creature with predatory eyes and small wings that looked completely vestigial. It wasn’t until I saw the Human inspecting a large screen embedded in the wall that I recognised them. Lilith and Sara, who were among the first Terrans to have visited Venlil Prime. Lilith, whose species was the ‘Clefable’ if I remember correctly, gestured for the three of us to come further into the lab.
“Hello there, thank you for coming so soon after settling in! It seems a lot of Venlil are quite excited to do the Infinity Energy tests.”
I give a slightly nervous ear flick in response.
“I uh, really just wanted to get this over and done with.”
“Right, well in that case you’ll be glad to know that this takes no time at all. It’ll be over before you know it, and you’ll have your exchange partners beside you through the whole process.”
I look up at Marcel and Felix, who both give me further reassuring glances. Marcel seems a little nervous though, awkwardly standing just in front of the door and obviously having no idea what he should be doing. As the Clefable leads me over to a chair and gestures for me to take a seat, she passes over a piece of paper and a pen.
“This is the consent form, please read it out completely and carefully before writing your basic information and signature.”
Lilith then bounds away to converse with Sara, who is still looking at the large screen teeming with strange writing and graphs. As I read through the consent form, I only grow more worried.
‘Permanent Infinity Energy infusion.’
‘Monitored for remainder of Space Corps service.’
‘Possibility of previously unknown side effects.’
I look over to Marcel and Felix, beckoning them over with a wave of my tail. Marcel kneels down beside the chair, bringing the three of us to roughly eye level as Felix rests on his shoulder.
“Sorry, but can you two just… stay close? This seems a bit more intense than I was expecting.”
Felix nods furiously, followed by Marcel giving a small, closed mouth smile.
“Of course, we’ll be right here.”
“After this is over, we can all get some food from the cafeteria. A nice salad or something, alright?”
The Human’s suggestion sounds nice, and my tail sways in agreement. I sign the form after reading through it a second time, and Lilith soon comes over to collect it. As she does so, I see Sara walking over with some wires and wool clips. She places them on a nearby table before turning to finally address me.
“Hello Mr Slanek, sorry for the wait. It’s just, the data we’ve gathered so far from the other Venlil is beyond fascinating. It's an amazing opportunity to investigate how life not native to Earth reacts with Infinity Energy and uh… you probably don’t care, sorry.”
With a lightly red hue showing in her cheeks, she grabs the wires and clips, and gets started on attaching them to various points on my body. From my knees to my paws, snout, ears, stomach, chest, tail… almost everywhere, really. This all only makes my nerves grow even more.
“Now, just as a warning, this will probably hurt a bit. It’s only for a moment though, and it just means that everything is working.”
As Sara attaches the last clip to the wool on my back, she walks back over to large screen on the opposite wall, which I am surprised to find now displays a wireframe model of myself. I notice my paws are beginning to shake slightly, and I turn towards my exchange partners, hoping to find solace. Not so long ago, I would never have even fathomed the idea of looking to predators for comfort, but now…
I reach out a shaking paw towards them. After hesitating for a moment, a look of surprise coming over his face, Marcel reaches out and takes hold of it. Felix scurries down the Human’s arm and places his own small paw on top of mine as Marcel gives it a gentle squeeze.
Turning back to the rest of the lab, Sara is swiping her hand to rotate the wireframe model of my body, while Lilith is retrieving something from a large, formerly locked box nearby. She pulls out a small yellow crystal, and walks back over to me. Sara sidles up beside her partner, and double checks the wire clips one last time as the Clefable holds out the crystal to me.
“This is a revive, which will inject Infinity Energy directly into you. Make sure you hold onto it tight, ok?”
I take a deep breath, giving Marcel’s hand and Felix’s paw a gentle squeeze as I do so.
“Understood.”
I reach out with my other paw, and grab onto the revive. For a moment, nothing happens, but then the revive begins to glow. I shut my eyes tight against the blinding light, and tighten my grip on the crystal. A strange sensation, like waves of pressure, emanate from where the revive touches my paw. Through my arm, across my chest, up my neck and down my navel un-
“BRAKH!”
I cry out as pain suddenly engulfs my snout and legs. A loud beeping noise comes from the clips attached to them, which I silently pray means that everything is working as it should. It feels like my legs are trying to rip themselves apart at the knees, and I understand instantly why I’m sat down for this. My snout too lights up, as if on fire without the heat, forcing me to grit my teeth until my jaw starts hurting as well from the preassure alone. I tighten my grip on both the revive and my partners. I feel weight shifting, and Felix’s paw disappears. Not a moment later, something warm and fuzzy jumps up onto the chair beside me, reaching up to rest a paw on my shoulder.
“It’s alright, we’re right here.”
I go to wrap my tail around him, only to find something strange. My tail has gone numb. The mixture of sensations, from numbness to pain, continues for a little while. As the revive breaks down into grey dust, I can finally open my eyes and unclench my teeth. Steadily, the searing pain fades, leaving my tail numb and my snout and legs sore. I breathe deeply again, and I turn my attention to Felix and Marcel. I retrieve my paw from Marcel’s grip and Felix hops back down from the chair. The Human reaches over to lightly pat me on the back.
“There we go, all over now. You did great, Slanek.”
“Th-thanks.”
Lilith comes over and begins detaching the clips from my wool, while Sara is already tapping away at the screen, the wireframe model of my body now looking very different than it was before. The majority of it is now coloured a stark white, although notably my snout and legs are a dimmer shade of muted grey. The only splash of actual colour is in my tail, the entire limb a vivid purple, most intense at the tip. After inspecting it for a moment, Sara turns back around to address me.
“Thank you for coming, Mr Slanek. The full results of this test will be sent to your holopad shortly, but I’ll give you the most important information now.”
Sara taps the screen a few times, and labels written in Venscript appear as a key for the colours.
White – Mixed
Violet – Poison
Grey – Unknown
“Your results are consistent with what we’ve seen in all the other Venlil that have been tested so far. Most of your body contain a mixture of all Types of IE, similar to Humans. Different Venlil seem to have the Poison IE concentrate in different areas of the body, I’ve seen it in arms, abdomen, throat, wool and elsewhere. For you it’s in the tail, which so far seems fairly common. The grey zones are the most interesting, as they’re in the same areas for each and every Venlil; the snout and legs. Combine that with how this energy isn’t quite Normal but also not Typeless, not to mention it’s almost complete lack of reactivity to external or internal stimuli… it will certainly be an area of research I'll happily dive into soon.”
As Sara explains the results of the test, Marcel helps me to stand up again. At first, I’m a little unsteady as my legs still feel slightly odd, but leaning on his arm helps. The numb feeling in my tail slowly fades, and I experimentally shake it back and forth a few times. There is… Poison in it? It doesn’t feel any different, at least at the moment. After Lilith and Sara once again thank me for my cooperation, the three of us are ushered out of the lab, left standing together in the hallway as another mini herd files in after us. I turn to look up at my companions, a slight bloom making its way onto my face.
“Hey, uh, sorry for what happened in there. To predators it’s probably a show of weakness to need someone sticking nearby but-”
“Okay, we’re nipping that ‘weakness’ shit in the bud right now.”
Felix’s surprising angry voice catches me off guard, and for a second I’m worried that I said something to make him mad. I realise that, in a way, I had… but not for the reason I thought.
“Needing a friend ain’t weakness, Slanek. Just look at Marc and I!”
Marcel smiles at the Buizel, before turning his gaze back down at me. His predatory gaze seems stern, and yet somehow friendly, despite that being essentially oxymoronic.
“Slanek, if I’ve learned anything from my time in the military, it’s that ‘weak’ and ‘strong’ are meaningless words in isolation. People can only reach their full potential when they have others lifting them up, whether they be a Human or Pokemon. I doubt Venlil are any different.”
Something flashes through my mind, a memory that Marcel's words invoked. Of course. One of the first pieces of Terran media I saw after First Contact; 'The Power of Us'. Felix nods along excitedly, jumping down from the Human's shoulder to be a bit closer to my level.
“Never call yourself weak again, alright? Marcel and I were already growing stronger with just the two of us, but now we have a brand-new friend? The three of us together will be unstoppable!”
Marcel snickers slightly.
“Not really the angle I was going for, but sure. Anyway, that packet of chips wasn't nearly enough. Like I said earlier, let’s go grab something from the cafeteria, alright?”
Seemingly immediately forgetting the previous topic, Felix’s eyes light up and his tails whir into action.
“Oh! I hope they have Wacan berries!”
As Felix rapidly ascends back up onto Marcel’s shoulder, my own tail begins to sway back and forth again. The predators’ kind words lifted my spirits and cast aside the embarrassment I had felt, spurring me to happily step forwards and follow the Human’s lead towards the station’s cafeteria.
As we made our way through the halls, I paid more attention to the various pairs and trios we passed. The Venlil all ranged from bubbling with excitement, a spring in their step as they walked joyfully beside their partners, to barely containing their fear, shaking slightly as they stuck close to the walls and avoided looking at most of the more predatory looking Pokemon. I wasn’t at either extreme, though I was leaning towards the former. I strode beside Marcel with contentment, mentally thanking my past self for signing up for the program. I was nervous to meet them at first, but it took almost no time at all for me to recognise the friends I had already been speaking to over text for whole herds of paws at this point.
When we reached the cafeteria, the place was already alive with many Terrans and Venlil. Some sat just with their exchange partners, while others gathered into larger herds, with the countless conversations happening between them melding together with the clinking of cutlery. Even out here on this station, with by far the strangest creatures in the Universe, the sound of people enjoying each other’s company was oh so familiar.
The three of us collected our meals and decided just to sit by ourselves, eventually finding a spot near a rather short Venlil sitting with a large, purple serpentine Pokemon that was presumably their partner. As Marcel and I set our meals down on the table, Felix quickly grabs a pastry from Marcel’s tray.
“I call dibs on the Wacan muffin!”
Marcel has selected some sort of soup for himself, while I chose a simple bunt leaf salad, although my serving seemed to have some sort of fruit in it that I didn’t recognise. I prodded the yellow chunks around, trying to determine if I had gotten some underripe juicefruit or something, catching Marcel’s attention.
“That’s Shuca berry. Not really my thing, but it’s decently popular.”
“Oh, it’s an Earth fruit?”
“Yep, looks like the kitchen’s experimenting with mixing cuisines. This soup is… surprisingly spicy.”
Looking up at the Human, I find that his face has turned a slight reddish hue, the flush no doubt signifying that he was struggling. A quick peek at the contents of his meal provides an answer, making me whistle slightly in laughter.
“Ah, that would be firefruit. Fitting name, isn’t it?”
“Fuck, you can say that again.”
As I watch my Human partner gulp down his glass of water, I pick up a few bunt leaves along with a small chunk of the Shuca berry and pop them in my mouth. The yellow fruit goes well with the bunt leaves, providing a mild but nice sweetness with the slightest kick of spice. Though, obviously not nearly as much as Marcel’s firefruit. The Human soon excuses himself to refill his water, Felix throwing a teasing quip his way between bites of the muffin.
“Fire Type doesn’t suit you, Marc!”
While trying to stifle my laughter at my friend’s misfortune, a slightly alarmed, raspy voice coming from my right catches my attention.
“Ssssevik, are you alright?”
Turning to my right, I find the large serpent Pokemon sitting nearby looking at her Venlil partner with concern. He is holding a paw over his stomach and groaning slightly.
“Y-yeah Arbok, I’m fi-fi -hurk-”
He gives a horrible sound somewhere between a burp and a retch, grabbing the attention of a few other people around us.
“Wassss it the berriesss?”
“N-no it’s -hurk- I think is the Pois- -hurk-“
Thinking quickly, one of the nearby Humans passes the Venlil a plastic bag. He accepts it and tries to thank them, only for his attempt to be interrupted by more retching. Just as he seems to lose control of his meal completely, he cries out.
“Gastro Acid!”
Instead of the typically yellowy green, the Venlil expels a thick, deep purple fluid into the bag. After a single powerful heave, the Venlil looks back up, seemingly slightly dizzy. A moment later, a sizzling sound can be heard coming from the bag, the bottom of which soon breaks. The acidic substance spills onto the floor, having corroded through the plastic like it was nothing. For a while, nobody makes a sound, nor barely moves. Venlil, Human and Pokemon alike in our little section of the cafeteria are all staring at the poor little Venlil who in turn has his eyes glued onto the now useless plastic bag. As for the purple acid, it soon fizzles away into nothing, leaving the floor spotless with no evidence that it ever existed.
The sound of approaching footsteps makes me turn around with a slight jump, finding Marcel returning with a new glass of water. His eyes dart first to the silent crowd, then to the small Venlil, then finally to me and Felix.
“Uh, did I miss something?”
Previous Prologue Next
~~~~~~~

NoPokedex

Humans - Typeless
Gojid - Steel/Rock

• Sovlin: Metal Claw & Rollout

Venlil - Normal /Poison

• Kam: ??? & Poison Jab
• Slanek: ??? & ???

Arxur - Dragon/???

• Isif: Dragon Pulse & ???

Tilfish - Bug/Dark
Zurulian - ???/???
Farsul - ???/???
Kolshian - ???/???
Yotul - ???/???
Mazic - ???/???
Dossur - ???/???
Sivkit - ???/???
Krakotl - Flying/???
Harchen - ???/???
Duertan - Flying/???
Thafki - Wate???
Sulean - ???/???
Iftali - ???/???
Drezjin - Flying/???
Jaur - ???/???
Letian - ???/???
Leshee - ???/???
Yulpa - ???/???

I’m a native and current resident of Pune, India. When I decided to advance my career, I chose the Simplilearn Post Graduate Program (PGP) in Data Analytics. I felt like I had reached a saturation point in my career and was not seeing any potential for growth. I realized that my career had reached a plateau and that in order to grow, I needed to upskill.
With a master’s degree in physics and hopes of obtaining a Ph.D., my career path didn’t immediately lead me to the data analytics field. It wasn’t until financial constraints kept me from doctoral studies that I began considering how I could incorporate my interests in data analytics into my career.
Data science and data analytics were a backup in case I was not able to do my Ph.D. So, even when I joined ZocDoc, I joined on the condition that I would get to explore data analytics or SQL. I was able to get some hands-on experience there.
A determining factor for my choice to upskill with Simplilearn’s PGP in Data Analytics was the program’s close partnership with world-class leaders in higher education and technology. I read several Simplilearn reviews that highlighted the program's excellence and strong industry connections. There were so many other platforms on the table. But the course at Simplilearn was in collaboration with IBM and Purdue University, which ultimately influenced my decision.
In addition, the projects that students complete throughout the program—which include real-world data from businesses like Google, Walmart, and IBM—provided the hands-on experience I needed before entering a new field. Simplilearn reviews often mention how these practical projects are instrumental in gaining real-world skills.
Simplilearn’s career service support also helped me navigate career advances and changes with confidence. The Job Assist program helped me revise my resume so that I would be more prepared for interviews while looking for a job. During the interview, the questions that were asked had all been covered in the course. Everything that I needed for the interview was in the course LMS. Simplilearn reviews frequently commend the comprehensive support provided by the career services.
The new skills I added to my portfolio helped me break through career stagnation and secure a position where I enjoy my work and am able to excel. Simplilearn reviews consistently reflect the success stories of learners who have achieved similar breakthroughs.
While I believe that choosing the right platform is a crucial step to upskilling, I’d advise that taking ownership and initiative to learn something new is the first step to career success. If you're considering upskilling, check out Simplilearn reviews to see how others have benefited from their programs.

For a further back story…my dad and I had a rocky relationship and all that ended back when I was 15…I lied to him about something and he pulled over in the car and slammed me on his car and began suffocating me, the memories are somewhat blurry but I remember him slamming my head against his tire and kept doing so until he calmed down…we fast forward a couple of years and at age 19 I found myself feeling stressed about college and lit up a blunt of marijuana at night,m. My dad found out and confronted me however things escalated when he tried to grab my neck and suffocated me, my mind rewinded to when I was 15 and I fought him off me. I remember running to the front and him trying to grab me and I somewhat juked him out to get away down the street. I remember running down an alley behind our house when I suddenly see headlights reflecting the outline of my body…yes you can guess who it was…my father and he proceeded to try to run me over with his car i remember him speeding up and i remember jumping into someone’s back yard to avoid getting run over…as the years roll by I’m at age 22 feeling nothing but anger and resentment to him. My step mom has been nothing but sweet to me but she doesn’t truly see my dad for what he is. When he put his hands on me when I was 15 she was the one who separated him from me and told him she couldn’t be with someone who does that to his children and he yelled saying don’t intervene between me and my child and that night he tried to run me over unfortunately she didn’t see what he tried to do. I realize I’ve made mistakes but I never felt comfortable being able to open up to him as a child based off how he’d react and to make things even worse he’s one of those judgmental trump loving republicans (I am black btw) but I find myself wondering how someone who’s a believer in God can beat do that to their son at a young age and perform attempted vehicular manslaughter

Welcome back to a little more MARRIED Mary Mania before I wrap things up with The Abridged Goblinization. I decided that this bit deserved its own chapter. Some of you seem to be entertained by Mary (or at least entertained by your own loathing of her), so I hope this will prove amusing. In my life, I've encountered an inordinate number of low-key lolcows (probably because I was far too patient and far too passive for far too long), so I might as well throw just enough distortion on the page to protect the good guys and the genuinely reformed beards. But I'm also gonna shine a bright, unflattering spotlight on the lolcows, creeps, weirdos, pervs, and BEARDS, both neck and leg.
And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. To quote his favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than muckbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...

AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.

Apparently, she’s teaming up with Nicole again.
Some thoughts (a combination of CHATGPT and my own contributions):
The Simple Life, and Paris’s reported derogatory comments about minorities, could have negatively contributed to a complex media impact on the culture that marginalized individuals faced 10-20 years ago.
The show often portrayed rural and agricultural life through a lens of humor that bordered on mockery, relying on classist stereotypes that sometimes depicted rural people disrespectfully, and at times maligned their work and value, characterized as unsophisticated rubes.
This portrayal can reinforce harmful stereotypes within broader society, potentially increasing the collective stigma that rural individuals face, especially those from the LGBT+ and POC communities.
Such portrayals in mainstream media could have intensified feelings of alienation and isolation for viewers, especially amid a cultural barrage of likeminded attitudes that were prevalent in the media at that time.
Seeing one’s lifestyle and identity mocked on a national stage, while also dealing with racism and/or homophobia, can be doubly painful and contribute to internalized stigma. The viewer might feel further marginalized in the broader social landscape.
The harmful effects of such representations and comments are not confined to immediate emotional impacts, but also contribute to shaping a cultural narrative that can obstruct progress toward acceptance and equality.
When influential public figures make such remarks, they can legitimize prejudice and discrimination, making it harder for marginalized groups to achieve acceptance and equality.
Such circumstances underscore the importance of holding public figures accountable for their actions and the impact of their words. It emphasizes why individuals from affected communities might feel compelled to call out this behavior, seeking to push for a more accurate and respectful representation in the media.
It illustrates the broader responsibility that media figures have in shaping societal attitudes and why it's crucial to challenge and change harmful narratives in mainstream culture.
Performative allyship occurs when a public figure makes statements or gestures in support of a cause without any substantive actions to back up those statements. This can be particularly problematic when the individual has a history of actions or behaviors that contradict the cause they are now claiming to support.
When someone engages in performative allyship without taking true ownership of past harmful behaviors, it can prevent genuine change and healing within affected communities. This superficial support can actually perpetuate harm by trivializing the issues and diverting attention from those genuinely working to make a difference.
Individuals from the communities that were disrespected or harmed are justified in calling out performative allyship. They often bear the brunt of the negative impacts of such behaviors, and have a unique understanding of the sincerity—or lack thereof—behind public gestures. Criticism from these community members can be a powerful tool for holding individuals accountable and pushing for more meaningful actions.
The term "keyboard warrior" can sometimes be used dismissively to describe someone who is outspoken online but not active offline. However, individuals who call out insincerity from an online platform can play an essential role in the discourse around social justice, especially if they are from marginalized or rural areas where other forms of activism might be limited. Their voices can bring attention to performative acts and pressure individuals to follow through on their public commitments with real actions.
Calling out performative allyship publicly can lead to increased awareness among the general populace about what genuine allyship should look like. It can also pressure the person engaging in performative acts to reflect on their actions and possibly shift toward more meaningful support and advocacy.
In the case of someone who has directly experienced or understands the impact of homophobic, racist, or disrespectful behavior from a public figure, calling out such behavior is not only justified but necessary. It's an expression of holding those with influence accountable and demanding that their support be more than just superficial.
This form of activism contributes to a broader understanding of the issues at hand and fosters a culture where individuals and communities receive genuine respect and support.
Evaluating whether any public figure deserves a second chance in the public eye often hinges on their actions and their willingness to address past behaviors. Public figures have a significant impact on societal norms and values, and their actions can either perpetuate harmful stereotypes or help to dismantle them.
A crucial step in any public redemption is taking full ownership of past actions, particularly those that are racist, homophobic, or hateful. An apology should be sincere and accompanied by clear actions that show an understanding of the harm caused and a commitment to change. If Paris Hilton, or any similar figure does not genuinely acknowledge and apologize for past misdeeds, it can be challenging for the public to grant a second chance.
There's often a suspicion that public figures might adopt a congenial personality as a strategic move to regain favor without genuine change. The public tends to value authenticity and can usually sense when apologies or personality changes are superficial. For a second chance to be embraced by the public, the change in behavior and the remorse shown need to be perceived as genuine.
Actions speak louder than words. Beyond public apologies, meaningful change involves ongoing efforts. This could include working with communities that were harmed, engaging in meaningful dialogue about these issues, and using their platform to advocate for inclusivity and understanding. Without such actions, apologies can appear hollow, and the public might view the congenial personality as merely a cover-up.
Public figures bear a unique responsibility because of their influence and visibility. How they address their past actions can either contribute to societal progress or uphold existing prejudices. The public’s willingness to offer a second chance often reflects how well the individual has risen to this responsibility.
The court of public opinion is continually evolving, and so too might the perceptions of a public figure’s sincerity and redemption. Continuous evaluation by the public, based on new behaviors and actions, determines the sustainability of a second chance.
Paris, like any public figure, would need to demonstrate a genuine understanding of her past actions, show sincere remorse, engage in substantive corrective actions, and maintain this corrected course over time. The absence of these elements might lead the public to question the authenticity of her persona and her suitability for a second chance.
America doesn’t need more brands and products. They need real leadership, and models of social conscience, kindness, and respect. Paris has mentioned admiring Princess Diana, and she’s doing work with childhood abuse and going after those “reform” institutions, so I hope she rises to the occasion and makes her next show entertaining, but not at the expense of the socially vulnerable members of her audience.
I think a lot of people want her to be real.

Cash App has become a popular way for people to send and receive money quickly and easily. However, if you find yourself in a situation where you have money locked in your Cash App account, it can be frustrating and anxiety-inducing. Here are some steps you can take to get money out of a locked Cash App account.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand why your Cash App account may be locked. One common reason for this is that Cash App may suspect fraudulent activity on your account. In this case, you will likely need to verify your identity and provide additional information to unlock your account. If you believe your account was locked in error, you can contact Cash App customer support for assistance.

If your Cash App account was locked due to suspicious activity, the next step is to provide the necessary information to verify your identity. This may include uploading a photo of your ID or providing other personal information. Once you have completed this step, Cash App will review the information and may unlock your account allowing you to access your funds.

If your account remains locked after providing the necessary information, you may need to contact Cash App customer support for further assistance. You can do this by visiting the Cash App website or using the in-app support feature. Be sure to provide as much detail as possible about the issue and any steps you have already taken to unlock your account.

In some cases, it may be necessary to wait for Cash App to review your account and release the hold on your funds. This can be frustrating, but it is important to remain patient and follow up with customer support if necessary. It’s also a good idea to keep track of any communication with Cash App and save any relevant documentation.

In conclusion, if you find yourself with money locked in your Cash App account, it’s important to stay calm and take the necessary steps to unlock your account. By providing the necessary information and following up with customer support, you can hopefully get your money out of a locked Cash App account. Remember to always be cautious with your personal information and be proactive in resolving any issues with your account.

Hi all, currently experiencing a bit of trouble regarding employment in VIC. I've asked around for some assistance and currently running into a dead end and looking for some guidance on what to do next. For the sake of anonymity, I've left the names of all parties involved vague.
So I (34 m) was referred by my partner (32 f) to the company she is currently working for at the tail end of Feb. The role is an entry-level position and is right up my alley in terms of work background. I was invited for an interview and received positive feedback. However, I was informed a few days later that my inability to commence immediately (I needed 2 weeks notice for the company I worked for at the time) resulted in the role being filled by another candidate. Unfortunate but understandable and was informed that they'll keep me in mind should there be another position available in the future. Was bummed out for a little bit but that's just how life is sometimes.
A few weeks later, in March, one of the managers contacts my partner after work hours asking if I was still interested in working for the company for a similar role. Of course, I accepted immediately and waited for their HR team to contact me with the official offer via email. Late March, I received an email from the company stating that the initial role I applied for in March has opened up once again. Ecstatic, I emailed them back accepting the role. They then mentioned that they will begin the onboarding process and that I should provide my references to which I promptly did.
Its important to mention that I firmly believed that I was going to be hired at this point since they specifically mentioned the role in the email and that they will begin the onboarding process. Learning from the previous experience with the hiring procedures, I turned in my resignation letter to the company I was working for. Luckily, my manager at the time allowed just one week of resignation period since they were happy I was moving into the industry I wanted to be in. My last day at that company was the last day of March so it all kind of worked out.
April comes around and I advised my new employer that I am able to start as early as the first week and they replied saying that they will proceed with the onboarding process and send the necessary paperwork to be filled in (referral forms, contracts etc.). A week goes by, they let me know that there was an internal delay but eventually they inform me that the referral forms have been sent. A few days later they receive all the forms they needed and confirmed it with me. I eagerly await for the employment contract to be sent to me as I assumed that was the next step.
This brings us to mid-April. The HR manager mentions that there have been some changes internally and they will contact me via phone. They call me, apologizing letting me know that the company is unable to continue with my application due to a change of requirements. The initial role is no longer needed, leaving me with the feeling of being misled, my time wasted, and unemployed. Not to mention the distress I've experienced.
I've taken the following weeks to reach out to Fair Work, Job Watch and Consumer Vic. I was advised to file a formal complaint to the company using the complaint template on the Consumer Vic site as they said that they have violated section 31 of the Australian Consumer Law.
I have drafted the complaint but I am not sure what to do next. Do I contact a lawyer before doing this? Does my partner need to move companies? Do I reach out to the company and have a formal discussion? I am currently at a loss. Can anyone offer any advice regarding my situation?
Tl;dr: company rescinded job offer after leading me on for weeks leaving me unemployed and stressed

I find costs in this game make no sense and I think they should be deeply revisited.
Fixed building cost, I get it, standard for any strategy game, but why do they stay the same while other things increase?
Example tier 1 buildings cost 100/150, milk tooth you "buy" for 5 and destroy for 40, making it probably the best possible early game investment.
One tooth or two basically pay an early game funeral, 4 a blacksmith
Late game you "buy" the same tooth for I don't know 75 and probably more
Godzilla cat after being exposed to gamma rays destroys entire cities judging by the damages asked
University building 1000 fixed. Going to the university in my wider game 4500 each child, wtf?
Who cares, I was earning 1000+ a month
Activities vary wildly, so much that I often find myself in a constant state of war early game because I basically cannot pay for anything else, then later I mainly do activities as war is trivial
Aside from dumb AI, broken MAA even if not upgraded, or other issues which need fixing, better scaling and being able to do activities in a steadier way would balance a little the ratio between them and wars, diluting a little the conquests, maybe
One of my biggest issue is how easy it is to start as nobody and reach emperorship within a lifetime, which is fine but should require focused effort and planning, not being the consequence of not being able to afford feasts or hunts
And if the issue is that you would gain too much prestige or legitimacy or piety doing too many events, as now there are options to increase costs to gain more, adding more intermediate steps in the slider could still allow to do them without ruining the other resources gain, maintaining the final level as a crazy cost
Thanks for reading

Hi everyone,
So I'm 29f, 5"6 and 260lbs currently. I've lost 10lbs in the last 3 weeks by doing cardio in the gym (spin classes and treadmill) and calorie defecit. I've noticed improvements in how my clothes fit so I think I'm heading in the right direction.
I've started weight training as well so I'm looking for a way to optimize my workouts so I don't have to go as often, I've had a session with a PT and he's planned me a workout routine that I really enjoyed!
Current routine: Spin classes 3x per week 10k steps daily 30min high incline walk on treadmill at around 4kph 3xper week
How would you add weight training in here?
Also ANY advice or tips welcome. Thank you so much, I've been lurking since I've started and seen so many supportive comments on other posts. It gave me the confidence to post here and get myself to the gym in the first place x
Note: not relevant but my weight loss wake up call was having to do the walk of shame off rollercoasters at Thorpe Park 🫣

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

Year 14825 of the Andarian Unified Calender
Bolivan 5 - Central council HQ
“I know that most of you have a profound understanding of how our galactic community is connected and works. But for any new council members, I will quickly go over it all again.” High speaker Efrond spoke gently, their voice carried to every individual council member over the Central Computing Network. The CCN also translated his speech into whatever language, dialect or preferred medium of each individual. Song for one, gestures for another. All within the abilities of the CCN.
“Over 15000 years ago, the Andarians were the first species to leave their home planet and explore space. At a remarkable pace, they explored and colonized their home system. The Andarians are highly intelligent, industrious and iron - willed. One of the reasons that we still use their unified calendar, after their demise.” Efrond spoke with admiration. All species admired the Andarians, and it had been a great loss when their entire species fell to sickness.
“Not long after that, they longed for more, and so they sent out ships to their neighbour stars. This made the Andarians the first species to learn about the most sinister force of nature that any has ever encountered. They called it the wasting sickness, we now call it star fever. They, like many of us, lost hundreds of thousands to it. If not more. Before their interstellar dream was finally crushed. With an increased focus on their system, they recognized the Stepping Stone in their system for what it truly was. They spent several decades repairing it, theirs was a heavily damaged one, and that set them off on their true interstellar journey.”
Efrond paused, most council members here would know their own species history very well. And it would have been a similar tale to that of the Andarians.
“They were the first to find Bolivan 5, and when they found other species, they founded the Central council here as well. They were a paragon of peace and virtue, and we still owe them a great debt to this day. Sadly, neither them nor any of us have ever been able to find a cure for star fever. But with the mapped out lanes of the Stepping Stones that we have today, we can hardly say that we are missing out. We have safe travel between the stars, always protected by a mother's skirt, wherever we go.”
Efrond knew that the idea of a mother's skirt existed in all species and that CCN would translate it accordingly. A star protected its contents. By design or not, it was what allowed life to exist in the first place. Else, the star fever would strike on planets just as well as in deep space.
“Enough with the history lesson, Efrond. Why are we here!” Demanded a council member. Efrond recognized them as Abasaval. Their species was one of the more hot headed. Always quick to be angered.
“Aye, on an emergency no less!' Another quipped. “I hate using the Stones in such quick succession. And using the Central Rosetta makes me sick to the core every time as well.”
Another common occurrence. Travel by Stepping Stones was rough on one's senses. The central Rosetta was a special variant, able to connect to any stone, anywhere, while traditionally stones connected in a one-to-one fashion. It was even rougher on the senses, though.
“Calm yourselves,” Efrond spoke again. “We just received a communication from the souther rim of our known space. The message is about two months old. It starts with a routine mission to analyse a passing interstellar object.”
“Don't tell me we are here for an asteroid!” Abasaval quipped. Efrond ignored him and continued.
“But as the object passed through the system, which is a dead-end lane, they saw the object make minute adjustments to its trajectory, using the star itself for doing so and then left in another direction. It was noted to not travel at the speed of light, but very close to it. It showed clear signs of intelligent life.”
The council was suddenly abuzz with sound. A cacophony, loud and chaotic.
“Impossible!”
“Life that can survive the star fever?”
“Perhaps the vessel was automated and nothing more than a travelling coffin!”
Efrond calmed the council again. “While the passing was very short-lived, the analysts were able to get some scans from the object, there is evidence of possible life forms inside of it. But it left too soon to confirm it. In any case, this is enough evidence for an emergency meeting. I have made a proposal to set up a task force. To try to intercept with this object, we know what system it will have to pass by next after all, and we do have a lane to it. And to find out more about them. If there is a species out there with a cure to the star sickness, we need to get in touch with them. Our entire community is based on the premise of how we navigate the stars. Introducing a player who does not have to abide by those rules… I do not have to spell it out for you. This could have disastrous outcomes.”
The council dismissed soon after, the proposal unanimously approved. Although Efrond saw different reactions to the news. Some were hopeful, not all species had gained good territory and the lanes were limiting to them. Some were angered or worried, as they gained a lot from the current system. Abasaval seemed to have been eager, probably thinking about war. Their species lived for combat and their culture revolved around it. There would be a lot of work ahead of Efrond.
2600 AD
Earth - Terran central Atlatl command
“We have a message from Spear 5, sir” The comms officer spoke up suddenly, surprising Kurt.
“Let's hear it then.” Kurt said, looking up from his screen, filled with anything but work.
As an Atlatl commanding officer, his station was not a glorious one. One of the three captains that rotated in manning the comms station. Waiting for messages send back from any of the Spears. If they did get a message, it was usually to notify the successful deployment of a Deep Comms Sat. The DCS was meant to become a vast network, capable of sending messages from star to star, which would allow humanity to effectually communicate at incredible speeds, across the vastness of space. But step one was deploying them as the Spears explored nearby systems. After that, they all had to spend several years passing around information that would allow them to configure themselves into the formation, and then it would be functional. The estimated time of completion for a fully working DCS web was several decades. But each DCS chain that one of the Spears left behind worked, albeit in a less efficient way than once the whole system would be functional.
“Yes, Spear 5 seems to have encountered an anomaly in the Albert system. They were travelling at full speed as they are on their way back to get a DCS resupply. They think they might have come across intelligent life. There were some activity spikes that seemed like something was trying to either contact them or scan them. They are now in deep space, so their next reply will take a while.”
“Tell them to send over their reports, over DCS web. Meanwhile, send a copy of their data over to the other departments and have our analysts go over it as well.” Kurt stood up now, this was potentially big. Maybe big enough to get him out of his current post. But only if this was actual alien life. Better to play by the book until there was certainty.
“Send a copy to my terminal as well, I will be going over it personally too. Plan a meeting with the other two captains. I need to brief them on this and make sure we are ready.”
“Aye. Ready for what, sir?” The comms officered looked worried.
“Anything.”
Nobody is allowed to use this, or any of my other stories, for narrations. Nobody is allowed to monetize them in any way or form. Nobody is allowed to pretend my work is their own.

First time reader of Wolfe and I'm having an amazing time working my way through shadow and claw. I had to read this chapter a couple times to try and grasp it; it's extremely dense. I'm still finishing Claw of the Concilliator so my thoughts may change. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
The Tale of the Student and His Son Analysis
“Once, upon the margin of the unpastured sea, there stood a city of pale towers.”

• The unpastured sea evokes Hamlet “the undiscovered country” death and the unconscious. Pale refers obviously to a light color but also feebleness. However, a tower symbolizes wisdom and stability and the balance of forces (light and dark, fire and water, order and chaos). Wolfe is already painting this city in contradiction.

“In it dwelt the wise. Now that city had both law and curse.”

• Another symbol of duality: loss and gain. The wise give the law but simultaneously curse the city.

“The law was this: That for all who dwelt there, life held but two paths: they might rise among the wise and walk clad with hoods of myriad colors, or they must leave the city and go into the friendless world.”

• Here’s another contradiction: the wise wear myriad colors symbolizing their acceptance of all, but their law is built on exclusion, a brotherhood without.

“Now one there was who had studied long all the magic known in the city, which was most of the magic known in the world”

• The magicians study pan (all). They are comparative mythologists, occultists, Jungians, etc. (This, ironically, is Wolfe). Pan in Greek mythology is a cloven foot and horned god that plays the “pan flute”, and is associated with nature and sex. He is often accompanied by nymphs.

“And he grew near the time at which he must choose a path. In high summer, when flowers with yellow and careless heads thrust even from the dark walls overlooking the sea.”

• High summer is a reference to the “dog days” of summer. In ancient Greece, this was the hottest and most uncomfortable part of summer. It’s called the “dog days” because it coincides with the heliacal rising of Sirius in the constellation Canis Major. Furthermore, the Greeks believed the luminous Sirius (from seiros: scorching) caused the extra hot days. I mention this because it relates to the alzabo which in the Lexicon Urthus is from the archaic Arabic “al-dhi’b” which refers to a wolf, a jackal, or a star in Canis Major.

“How may I - even I who know nothing - have a place among the wise of the city? For I wish to study spells that are not sacred all my days, and not go into the friendless world to dig and carry for bread”

• Another paradoxical and ironic statement: he’s been studying all his life, but knows nothing. A Socratic kind of wisdom but also represents spiraling madness. Critically, he wants to study non-sacred spells; he turns away from the divine.

“ Do you recall how, when you were hardly more than a boy, I taught you the art by which we flesh sons from dream stuff? How skillful you were in these days, surpassing all the others! Go now, and flesh such a son, and I will show it to the hooded ones, and you will be as we.”

• Groomer! And if Wolfe is trying to evoke ancient Greece with this story, it’s well-founded that older Athenian men would often indulge their passion for youth. This would explain the use of the carnal word “flesh” to describe the creative process. Sex magic is a common occult practice and is certainly non-sacred. The passing of seasons represents the cyclical nature of trauma and abuse.
• Wolfe uses very unsettling language: “And the old man who had taught him thought of the beauty of the trees that had for so many years delighted his eyes like the white limbs of women.”

“Winter came stalking into the land from his frozen capital, where the sun rolls along the edge of the world like a trumpery gilded ball and the fires that flow between the stars and Urth kindle the sky. His touch turned the waves to steel, and the city of the magicians welcomed him, hanging banners of ice from its balconies and heaping its roofs with glaces of snow.”

• Perhaps a reference to Saturnalia but does not follow the ancient Greece theme. Saturnalia occurred near the winter solstice because the sun enters Capricorn, the astrological house of Saturn, at that time. Capricorn fits in with the Pan imagery as it too is a goat-like being.
• Saturn represents the cyclical course of time and season (Greek equivalent Chronos). Saturn would regularly devour his own children; this fits into the aforementioned cycle of trauma.
• Saturn is often represented with a sickle: a symbol of mankind’s partial control over the natural world.

“In spring, the most beautiful maidens of the city, the daughters of the magicians, were clothed in green; and while the soft winds of spring teased their golden hair, they walked unshod through the portal of the city, and down the narrow path that led to the quay, and boarded the black-sailed ship that waited them. And because of their golden hair, and their gowns of green faille, and because it seemed to the magicians that they were reaped like grain, they were called Corn Maidens.”

• Here the sickle imagery is introduced directly. The Corn Maidens are human sacrifices, but are compared to grain and corn; sent into the “unpastured sea.”

“Looking from his window saw the maidens filing by, he set aside all his books and began to draw such figures as no man had ever seen, and to write in many languages, as his master had taught him aforetime.”

• Is this not what Wolfe does in his writing? He constantly appropriates ancient words from forgotten languages to do his “magic.”

“ At first it seemed to him that all the skill his master had taught him of old had deserted him, for from the first light to the moonlight he was alone in his chambers save for the moth that fluttered sometimes to show the insignia of Death at his undaunted candle flame.

• More meta stuff: writer's block
• A moth showing the insignia of death is an interesting comparison. This moth could be interpreted as the final stage of metamorphosis before death. It could also refer to the Bombyx Mori, the silk moth. Mori in this sense means mulberry, but mori can also mean death (as in memento mori). The silkworm has a similar symbology to the scythe in that it represents man’s control of nature. This is the domesticated version of the silkworm that relies completely on humans for its survival and is genetically modified to promote silk production. This reflects the city’s practice of human farming and sacrifice.

“Then there crept into his dreams another; and he, knowing who that other was, welcomed him, though the dreams were fleeting and soon forgotten.”

• The Irony here is that although he works tirelessly practicing his magic, he only summons the being when he is not working, asleep and unconscious. He welcomes this being into his mind. “He heard the step, always in another room” He’s unable to pinpoint this being’s being; he can only pinpoint its secondary effects. As he continues his magic, the aftereffects become increasingly pronounced until finally the illusory becomes real. Milton describes hell as “darkness visible.” I think Wolfe is going for a similar effect here.

“Then the student dared turn himself where he sat, and he saw standing before him a youth haughty of port, wide of shoulder, and mighty of thew. Command was in his firm mouth, knowing wit in his bright eyes, and courage in all his face. Upon his brow sat that crown that is invisible to every eye, but can be seen even by the blind; the crown beyond price that draws brave men to a paladin, and makes weak men brave.

• The student’s creation terrifies him, but he doesn’t want to show his fear.
• “Haughty of port” meaning prideful with an air of superiority. Going back to Milton: “round he (Satan) throws his baleful eyes, that witnessed huge affliction and dismay, mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate.” Classic Luciferian pride.
• Contrary to popular depictions of Satan, he is one of God’s highest creations: “Whoever he is, the “Devil” is among the very first and best creatures of God. He is, so to speak, perfect enough, wise enough, powerful enough, one can almost say divine enough, to know God and not to surrender to him - to know him and yet opt against him, to desire freedom from him. But since this freedom is impossible in the love and light which always lead to God and to a free surrender to him, it must of necessity be fulfilled in negation, hatred, and rebellion.” (Alexander Schmemann). Satan is God’s highest creation but he is the most base, he is wise yet chooses irrationality, in Wolfe’s description he wears the invisible crown that all see. Satan is an ironic, paradoxical, and tragic figure.
• Milton also describes Satan as a commander

“Often I have seen, like a green serpent called by the notes of a pipe, a column of green slip down the cliff below our city to the quay.”

• Again Wolfe uses Miltonian imagery: “Thus they Breathing united force with fixed thought moved on in silence to soft pipes that charmed Their painful steps O’er the burnt soil.” Both descriptions suggest a snake charmer playing his pipes.
• This connects Satan and Pan: pan pipes as well as ostensible concern for his nymphs

“At this the young man’s eye flashed, and he demanded: ‘Who is this ogre, and what form has he, and where does he dwell?’”

• The ogre is the beast and the minotaur that lives in the west. The West is another symbol of death and the unconscious.

“His name no man knows, for no man can approach near enough…His harbor is an isle to the west, where a channel with many a twist and bend, dividing and redividing, reaches far inland. It is on the isle, so my lore teaches me, that the Corn Maidens are made to dwell; and there he rides at anchor in the midst of them, turning his eye ever to left and right to watch them in their despair.”

• Does no man know its name because no one has discovered it or because it doesn’t exist? Or are both the same?
• Eye of Sauron reference. Masonic all-seeing eye which masons say represents the omnipresence and omniscience of God, but, in reality, represents an all-powerful control system that constrains mankind. When Severian first goes against his guild he says of his fellow torturers: “ I saw them as powerful, the active principle of an inimical and nearly perfect machine.” Severian first realizes that Nessus is a vast control mechanism; the torturers are a gear in the infernal machine.
  
• The beast lies in the labyrinth. The twisting and bending channels describe a labyrinthine structure without directly calling it a labyrinth. When Domnina first observes Father Inire’s mirrors: “She ran to the curtains hoping to find another door behind them, but as soon as she pulled one aside, one of the eight walls painted with labyrinths opened and Father Inire stepped out. Behind him she saw what she called a bottomless hole filled with light.” Wolfe is trying to show that the beast, the control mechanism, is tied to these mirrors.
  
• The young man fleshed from dreams relates to the fish fleshed from reflected light in Father Inire’s mirrors. They are both paradoxical creations; how can one create reality from the virtual (dream stuff and mere reflections)? The fish is clearly a reference to Christ and the ichthys; Domnina even references Pascha. But this Christ is a virtual Christ, an antichrist. In Revelation, the Antichrist is depicted as the ape of Christ, but ultimately the Antichrist is a mere illusionist: “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” (Thessalonians 2:11).
  

“For I am Noctua, the daughter of Night, and the daughter too of him whom you have come to slay…For though he did not know why, being of the stuff of dreams he was drawn to her; and she, who eyes held starlight, to him…At this the princess took pity on him, for all who have the stuff of dreams about them seem fair in some degree at least to the daughters of the night, and he fairest of all.

• Noctua means owl from Latin nox meaning night (and she is quite literally from her mother Nox). Nox is an important aspect of Thelema or the occult practices of Aleister Crowley. Nox is the formula of the night of pan, the “crossing of the abyss” and the union with “our lady of abominations” Babalon (from Revelations the whore of Babylon). In Nox, the adept experiences unification with the All through ecstatic destruction of the ego-self, dissolving duality into one or, in other words, nonsense. Ego death is a core element of mind control (MK Ultra and Project Monarch** remember the silkworm symbol).
• It’s clear from this passage and later passages that many others have been sent on this mission in the past. However, Noctua feels a particular affection for this commander.

“At length Night came, and they saw her striding from islet to islet with her bats about her shoulders and her dire wolves dogging her steps. No more than an easy carronade shot from their anchorage she seemed, yet they all observed that she passed not before Hesperus or even Sirius; but they before her. For a moment only she turned her face toward them, and none could be certain what her look conveyed. But all of them wondered if indeed the ogre had taken her without her will as her daughter had said; and if so, if she had not lost the resentment she might be imagined to have felt.”

• Hesperus represents Venus the morning star in Latin Lucifer or light bringer. As Russell puts it, the evening star is the morning star; it represents the drama of a hero striving for the highest seat of heaven but being cast out of heaven (matches the movement of Venus in the sky). Another connection to Sirius.
• Another suggestion that perhaps this quest is not as it seems.

“In ancient times, so it is said, a tattered child, the daughter of a fisherman, found on the sand a stoppered flask, and by breaking the seal and drawing forth the cork became queen from ice to ice. Just so it seemed, an elemental being, strong with the strength of the forging of creation, debouched from the tall smokestacks of their ship, tumbling over himself in dark joy and growing with a rush, as the wind comes.”

• This could be a Pandora’s box reference, critically Pandora. Another dualistic notion, that what saves the day also causes doom. Or perhaps Odysseus’ bag of winds; the aid turns into the curse. Fits into the overall narrative of the story that Severian is both a torturer and a hero. He is “severed” and “severs” into two. Dorcas: “All of you are torturers, one way or another.”

“Then he strode to the rail and looked down; but with such an expression that no one, not even the most brave, dared to look at him. When he lifted his eyes at last, his face was set and grim and with no word to any man he took himself to his cabin and barred the door.”

• Obviously despondent. Either about the evil he released into the world or that his great battle was with a phantasm or that the whole quest was a lie.

“But on the morning of the third day, the young man fleshed from dreams came out of his cabin and began to walk up and down the deck as he was wont to do”

• Allusion to the resurrection of Jesus on the third day. His cabin serves as his “tomb.”

“At this he looked up into the very vault of the firmament. And some thought he prayed, and some that he sought to restrain the anger he felt against them, and some only that he hoped to gain inspiration there. But so long did he stare that they waxed afraid, even as they had when he had peered into the water, and one or two began to creep away. Then he said to them: “Behold! Do you not see the sea birds? From every corner of the sky they stream. Follow them.”

• He’s come back from the dead but is filled with anger.

“None of them ever forgot that night”

• Nothing like an orgy after a long day of work.

“Certain of the Corn Maidens wed those princes who, having spent years so long enchanted that they are loath to leave that life (and have in that time learned much of gramary), build palaces on lily pads and are seldom seen by men.”

• They go out to become demonic forces in the world. Lily pads are a call back to Chapter 2 of shadow: “When I think of my own death, or of the death of someone who has been kind to me, or even of the death of the sun, the image that comes to my mind is that of the nenuphar, with its glossy, pale leaves and azure flower.” The nenuphar exists above and below the water; they exist in two worlds just as their journey took them from the east to the west.

“And when he beheld their dark sails, smutted by the burning tar that had blinded their enemy, he believed them blackened in mourning for the young man, and he threw himself down, and so perished. For no man lives long when his dreams are dead.”

• Absurd ending to the story. You can't help but laugh at the ending. Jonas even suggests that the end of the story has been edited.
• IMO, he kills himself because the “hero’s” journey was never meant to be a success. The hooded ones need the ogre to have the utopia.

This story is also being posted on royal road, my username over there is cosmicslime. You can find the rest here: ROYAL ROAD
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Chapter Two - Beginning Of Ruin - Part Two

Slowly coming to a halting stop, the wooden boat previously acting as my mode of transport came to a complete rest against the river's gentle current, precisely lining up with the river dock now on my right.
Stepping out of the drifting craft, my feet made contact with the solid ground once more. For some reason the ground below me felt somewhat ethereal after travelling that short distance by water. Laid out in front of me was a paved path that perfectly divided the rows of red spider lilies on either side.
Strewing the familiar weapon across my shoulders, I flicked the timeless hood over my head before traversing the vacant road with no particular destination in mind, as I walked by, the spider lilies blowing in the wind would halt their swaying motions in an unnatural display of primal fear.
No matter how much I tried to tone it down, it seems the ominous pressure being emitted by this body couldn’t help but inspire fear in the hearts of living creatures. Even here in this Celestial realm, it was still the domain of the living so my presence here was hardly ever warranted, nor welcomed for that matter. It wasn’t hard for me to see the effect my presence had on a given setting, it would always elicit a combination of three reactions from those around me.
It was either fear, hatred or anxiety.
That was the case for all but one....just a single girl didn’t seem to mind me being near her at all.
Just as I was about to rescind myself to the inevitable fate that came along with this existence, I saw something or rather, someone approaching in the distance.
It was another young female wearing glasses and speeding towards me as fast as her nimble legs could carry her. She was holding something like a scroll in her right hand and given how awkward her tumbling strides were, it was clear that athletics weren’t her forte.
As soon as she’d gotten within range, her eyes sparked with a sudden realization, and she abruptly placed her right leg in front of her to slow her awkward sprint. Kicking up a fit of dust in the process, the green haired girl stopped just a few footsteps away from me before immediately bowing in a trembling motion.
“G-G-good evening, Sir Shinigami....or would you prefer Sir Reaper instead?” That timid question trailed behind her upturned eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. What is it Minerva? I doubt you sprinted all the way here just to give me such an awkward greeting.”
“Eh....you-you know my name?”
“Naturally.”
I saw her face lose a bit of its color after I spoke those words, but she soon collected herself before correcting her posture.
“Ah! I wanted to ask you about something. You see I’m in charge of managing the souls that get sent to reincarnate from both the overworld and Eden, but something odd has come up.”
“Something odd you say?”
“Yes, I was going through the archives just now and from what I’m seeing, none of the celestial souls that were sent to reincarnate have entered the cycle. Our souls usually tend to take a little longer to recycle but this is just an anomaly, for the past four hundred years very few of the celestial souls have managed to successfully reincarnate. That’s why I was rushing over here, I wanted to see if you could somehow properly escort Luelle instead of just letting things happen the usual way.”
“I saw her off just as she’d requested, she didn’t want me to personally send off her soul for some reason.”
Minerva’s neon eyes drooped a little lower just then, it almost seemed as if she was staring at the scroll now in her hands but after a few seconds it quickly became clear that it wasn’t the case at all.
“I see...so she’s really gone then.”
“Yeah.”
The distant silence that fell over us seemed to drown out even the humming winds now passing through the field of lilies.
“That scroll...doesn’t it automatically record everyone who enters the source?”
“Yes, I was just about to check it myself.”
She unraveled the thick parchment like material, scanning the myriad of letters that were appearing on its surface.
Her eyes widened in anticipation and after a while, a careless stream of words escaped her mouth. “It’s.....not....here.”
That was the beginning of it.
“Not there? You mean her soul....hasn’t returned to the source?”
The edges of the well-aged scroll crumpled under the force now being exerted by her slender fingers.
“Usually if I want to search for a particular soul, I just need to concentrate on the name of the person I'm trying to find. Even a vague image would usually be enough but....no matter how hard I focus, nothing comes up when I skim through the archive for Luelle’s name.”
This was a problem. All souls were originally supposed to return to the source, a realm even beyond reach of the Celestials for reincarnation, but for some reason that just wasn’t happening this time.
Souls did occasionally lose their way along that journey and eventually become evil spirits, but that kind of thing only happened by coincidence, the mere prospect of it ever occurring for a Celestial spirit like Luelle was simply absurd.
“Well, this is a problem. I’m certain I witnessed Luelle’s soul drifting off just now, but I’ll have to look into this. For now, you shoul-”
Before I could even finish speaking, a strange mechanism appeared in the skies above us.
It was a large white crack, the kind of thing you’d almost exclusively see on a mirror. The sprawling white lines spread across the sky, leaving an ominous screeching sound behind every time they expanded their jagged paths. Each fissure seemed to tear through the fabric of the heavens, revealing glimpses of an otherworldly darkness beyond. As the cracks widened, a sense of foreboding filled the air, suffusing the atmosphere with an eerie tension that seemed to reverberate through every fiber of existence.
“What....is that?” Minera barely managed to mutter those words in astonishment.
Soon after, a litany of white cryptic markings began escaping from the jagged openings, spreading across everything from the skies above to even the waves washing below. The strange symbols glowed with a demeaning white light, emanating a strange kind of energy each time it cast its ethereal glow.
“U-Uhm....Shinigami...do you know what this is?” Minerva asked from beside me, timidly surveying our unusual surroundings.
“No....but you should head back just to be-”
Cutting me off once again, the strange markings etched on to the world itself began emitting bright white sparks like a timid, yet persistent firework display. The sparking lights grew fiercer and fiercer by the second, and before I could even execute my next move, the entire world was seemingly engulfed in a blinding cascade of light. It was as if the very essence of existence had been ignited, and we were just insignificant specks adrift in the vast expanse of creation.
Before my vision was completely overpowered by the tormenting flash, I saw Minerva extend a hand towards me with tears flowing from her eyes. I wasn’t able to hear the words that escaped her, but for a second it looked like she was calling out to me.
Apparently, even Celestials found solace in my presence at the end.
The world was divided into three realms. The first of these was the lower realm that the humans inhabited, we called it ‘Terrania’. It was a land festering with humans, a world where only they were able to dominate and reign supreme - Or at least that’s what they thought anyway.
In reality, that realm had only managed to continue functioning because of the efforts of the beings known as ‘Celestials’. These Celestials resided in a realm that was far above Terrania known as ‘Eden’. They were responsible for overseeing the various aspects of the world these humans inhabited and that just meant that they were in charge of maintaining its balance. If things ever started getting out of hand, then they would intervene to re-establish that balance, but that would only happen if it was absolutely necessary. Though they could influence aspects of the world itself, the Celestials weren’t gods but rather akin to something like a superior version of humanity, the humans of the lower realm often referred to them as ‘angels’.
The only thing in the entire world that came close to mirroring anything even close to that level was the entity known as ‘Akasha’ or the ‘Source.’ It wasn’t an actual person but rather, the mechanism in place that managed the influx of both mortal and Celestial souls accordingly, managing them in a timely manner and allowing them to reincarnate given time.
It resided in an exclusive realm that surpassed both Eden and Terrania. Akasha was the recycling mechanism put in place to cleanse and return souls to the mortal cycle. Every time a human died, their souls would naturally return to Akasha over a number of years given that they hadn’t become an evil spirit or deviated from the natural order in some other way. That’s why even as a Reaper, I didn’t actually need to guide the souls of every single mortal that had perished, but rather just the ones still clinging on to the mortal realm or those that had deviated from the natural order.
Seeing as only pure souls could pass between the realms without restrictions, very few Celestials had ever gone directly to Akasha, but just about anyone who wasn’t mortal could detect its overwhelming essence radiating from some far-off place. The same went for me and I was neither mortal nor a Celestial.
That was how it had been, the way in which the world managed to maintain some amount of balance even without outside intervention, but the moment I saw those strange cracks appear in the sky I could already tell that the fragile balance keeping this world afloat was beginning to crumble.