I’m in FinServ for a small Credit Union. Prior to me there wasn’t a retirement department. I’ve built it from the ground up by myself, 100% my baby. I’ve been an FA for 7 years before at a large wire. I moved from finding your own book, cold calls, cold walking, networking; to referrals, and warm leads everywhere.
I’m going on my halfway through my 4th year. I’ve had sustained growth in tough markets, new assets, no complaints, balanced growth all around.
The Credit Union has been around 50+ years, and they have been a positive for our community.
They can’t prospect. They can’t sell. They are order takers. They can’t dig for more opportunities. They can’t track prior prospects and can’t follow up later in the year. They are successful because of their hospitality, leadership, and marketing.
Given past/current markets, they are struggling with interest rates and stifled demand for cars and home purchases.
I have been asked at the beginning of the year to be on a sales committee. Weekly 90 minute meeting discussing prospecting,sales, accountability, and tracking. Much more busy work than I need. To me, it seems I’m here for them to pick my brain, and try to replicate. It will benefit me down the road.
I have full schedule autonomy, they support me, culture is great, an assistant, love everything about my job. Pay is good and growing, 401k, and pension.
I’ve also had 3 offers to work with local FAs this year. They are both offering Triple current pay for 5 years, plus a 10% commission increase. One is a unique situation.
What option should I consider?

1. Saying nothing and continue to grow
2. Have a conversation and get a raise nearing 3x pay
3. If no, do I jump?
4. If no, revert to option 1 and plan for option 3 when it hurts them the most
5. Something I haven’t considered

Thanks and let me know what I need to clarify.

I (35F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 7 years. and sometimes we’re really happy. But most of the time, at least I, am not. I’ll start by saying things were different when we got married. I had lower self esteem. I was out of abusive relationships and picked a boring but safe man. Not my intention at the time, but in retrospect, I think that’s what I was doing.
Now that I’ve done a lot of healing, inside and out, I’m not sure we still make sense.
He is safe. Never abusive. Does “the little things.” However, I do 90% of the family work. I pay 100% of the bills. He has no desire to get a better job, go to school, etc. His account is only for miscellaneous expenses, because that’s all he can afford. I come home from work, clean, do laundry, run the kids to appointments, all the things. He does do some household things but not a lot, not well, and it’s besides the main point anyway.
The main thing is, I’m lonely. I want to grow. I like having conversations, challenging myself, adventures, learning new things. This man is stagnant. I want to be better, healthier, do more with our family. He could not care less. I enjoy talking about financial planning, investing, healthier routines and activities… He’d rather sit and play video games. We have 3 boys and I’m worried about their future if their rolemodel has no interest in personal growth or health. Will they grow to find a wife that coddles and tends to their every need and ends up as resentful as I am? Who will teach them to be a man? I feel as if I am the man. I don’t want to be! But every day, I run the show.
This leads me to never be attracted to him, simply because I don’t respect him. The more people pleasing he is to everyone, the bigger ick I get. We don’t have sex. He used to blame it on me, but even now when I offer, he says no. Yet, pretty sure he does it himself nearly every day. Idec though. The thought of being vulnerable in order to please this man who can’t stand up for me, push himself, be bothered to become more, makes me sick.
So I ask, if you had a wife who worked her ass off, made bank, bought you a house, car, trips, paid all the bills, was a great mom, took care of all the things, took care of herself, would you step it up for her? Would you try to relieve some of the pressure? Or did I make him this way by being independent and successful? I ask so many times that he do this or do that. Just like picking a career or can we go over finances together, can we have a date night… Let’s start doing this or even can you take this box to the attic? And it’s like another kid I have to keep on. It’s exhausting. It’s heartbreaking. I just want a partner. I want someone to share life with. He’s just cynical and lazy. But I do love him, and I know he loves me. I’m just incredibly lonely and let down.
It’s another night. He says goodnight. I lay here and look at the ceiling and think about all the conversations I wanna have. But it’s not worth watching him pretend to be interested only to feign sleep midway through, and my time getting my hopes up. Again.

This thread is for all Public Service Announcements for today's date. If you want to offer a service or an opportunity for an experience or visit, please post in this thread instead of posting separately with the [PSA] tag.
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I believe that Kylie Jenner was never really dating Travis Scott and i agree with the people here that say he stayed for the mutually beneficial relationship. I did a little research and i found out
Stormi’s birthday is 2/1/18 Aires birthday is 2/2/22
What is 9 months before that time? Around the end of April beginning of may. Thats when travis scott’s birthday is… April 30th!
I believe that they didn’t know each other that long before Coachella as its reported that her and Tyga officially ended their relationship in April 2017. She totally was tryna get back at Tyga or something and then got knocked up by accident by Travis and said fuck it lets keep the ball rolling. Theres no way her first pregnancy was not an accident.
Furthermore her and travis got pretty close after Stormi and then they stopped talking. I know how it is with guys… he definitely hit her up for some birthday sex in 2021. Like does anyone even remember her being with travis at all in 2021/2022? Because i don’t tbh.
The second pregnancy was defienitly more planned on her side then it was on his. He definitely just wanted some good sex and got that nut in. Sorry I’m being pretty vulgar but i feel like this is such facts i don’t think he really cared to have another kid maybe I’m wrong with that but i doubt he would care if it was her or any other woman.
Give me ur opinions I’m so curious because i was always so confused why her kids basically have the same birthday. Theres nothing wrong with it at all i just dont think her and travis were ever serious, just trying to after the baby.

I don't know how to say this, usually, it's the easiest thing for me to say. This time it's hard because, I can't think of many people that will care, or maybe not. due to what I know is becoming more and more inevitable by the day. I can't keep this up. Everything falls apart, my health….. not healthy at all. Not only do I feel it, but it shows. I'm homeless, because talking to one of the 2 people I thought would never betray me, I was wrong about. Not once have I been able to express how I felt how uncomfortable the whole situation made me. She's just get all pissed of. So at first she would take him somewhere during her shift. That feels a little better because I could be home alone or grab an Uber and get the hell out of there overnight I'll invite my own for and over so that I'm not so alone That didn't work out either sorry being at the house all the time I'd wake up to him walking by go to the bathroom because I'm in the living room with a couch he didn't pay for anything he's offer me money for anything for the internet for nothing. A while she reallyreally wanted me to pay half the rent. She wanted us to be able to have the same dynamic Wait not us she wanted to feel like she had the same dynamic she even had the nerve to tell me one night that when I was at home it makes her nervous so she's going to bring Sam over I'm sure that was as big a lie as it was whenever she told me that he was staying somewhere else because I wanted to talk to her about how soon I was going to die. She even blew that off she didn't even look at me the whole time I was trying to explain to her she doesn't didn't even know what I was talking about kept watching her phone and picking it up and finally I said well man if you need to go pick him up go get him before I can even finish the sentence she had the car started. And I tried and kept on trying to be friendly with him and I thought he was friendly with me but then I hear some of the remarks he would make to her and being mad cuz I kept the car but wait I just moved in he doesn't pay anything I had just put gas in that car. My sister never talk to me about any of this. She would just get mad because one day I said something about him shaving his hair and leaving the hair over the bathroom and she rolled her eyes in me and walked off. But my point is who cleans that me. I'd be cleaning the kitchen and you walk up and drop addition sink right in front of me. They're both constantly so high they don't know what they're doing so I guess it's a good thing it's not being there cuz I don't want to get in trouble if you get busted You smell that shit down the driveway. Just progressively worse and then one morning I started getting real upset and so I stopped the internet from working in their room because no one else is ever paid for it. Starving I was nervous to have to go anywhere because she get pissed off or she'd have to wait let me check with him. She blew up on me in the middle of the day mind you we're in Texas it's 85 90°. So she goes outside and start screaming at me and slams the door in my face and locks it and just before she met him she didn't shoot me like that she's kind of standoffish about Corey sometimes but hell. I said some mean things things that I shouldn't have said things that didn't mean I wanted us to be friends again I want her to be my sister before I die! Family shouldn't be like that. So she decided to text my mom that's what got us into the big fight, Mom wouldn't leave me alone. Just kept on and kept on y'all need to work it out every time something was bothering me and I want to talk y'all need to work it out You need to just relax she's under a lot of stress. You're not the easiest to deal with. That feels the best because I don't want my baby sister taking care of me. It's not supposed to be that way I'm supposed to die before she has to do that. So anyways I'm at a friend's now I had chemo last week and God for that friend because that's who got me a chemo and has been keeping the roof of my head while it's storming and I'm suffering. And all this time I'm supposed to just keep kind of keep my head up. She hasn't even tried to reach out oh except for reaching out to say that I took the internet out of the house. I think my biggest fear right now is that. I'm going to live much longer than I'm hoping right now.

Hello All
I have a story I would like to share with everyone.
My ex fiancé who was 30 at the time and I(31f) but was 26 at the time this took place, we were an inseparable couple. We did everything together Travel, go out places locally, etc. my ex travelled a lot for his job,which is how we ended up travelling together. Anyways this one trip he took I couldn’t go I was sick and I wanted to work on wedding plans. I trusted him completely,he reassured me nothing was going to happen on his work trip. The wedding plans were in place and everything was smooth sailing from when he got back from his two week trip.
Flash forward to our wedding day 7 months later everything was going smoothly,everyone was seated my ex was standing at the front with his groomsmen and my bridesmaids were at the front as well. I walked down,I got to the front, and I noticed a woman I didn’t recognize sitting at the back.when the ceremony started and the preacher asked if anyone objected to this marriage,and the lady I didn’t recognize stood up called out my exes name and announced she was carrying his baby. I don’t remember much as I ended up fainting,but I do remember when I woke up from my faint I was crushed. I saw the look on all my family and friends looking super shocked. I was so embarrassed that I ran out of the ceremony and got one of my friends to drive me to their place.
One of my other friends brought the pregnant woman over to my place so I could hear her side of the story before I confronted my ex. She told me they worked together in Italy (he went there for work purposes for the two weeks) they had connected,went out to dinner and before they knew it one thing lead to another and yea they slept together. She told me she knew it was his baby as she didn’t sleep with anyone else after that.i asked her how far along she was,she was about 6 months pregnant. I was still upset and I asked her if she knew about me and she said she didn’t know about me. She told me,he told her that he just broke up with his girlfriend back home.
When she left I got a hold of that shit for brains ex fiancé of mine. I told him to fess up as his fling confessed everything to me. He caved and told me the truth which matched what the fling had said. I was so devastated I ended up blocking him,moved most of my shit out of the place I now refuse to call our home as it was now tainted for me.
When I came back for the last of the stuff he cried and begged me to take him back but I told him to go pound sand. That was the last time I had spoke to him in person. I found it very unfortunate as his parents were the sweetest people I know and when I talked to his mom a couple weeks after that,she was crushed that her son did that to me and wished I was able to be her daughter in law. She had two boys never had a daughter.
The last time I heard about him was just a few months ago. He did end up marrying the fling he had a baby girl with,but they are now divorced. He tried reaching out to me last months and told him I was not interested in speaking to him and found somebody that actually respects me and has never hurt me.
Sorry for the long story.

This is going to be a long one so heads up.
A bit of back story; I started dating my husband when I was 15. I chased this boy thorugh hell and back just to get a chance. Problems between us were immediate but didn't seem significant at the time. A few months into our relationship he had an adult "friend" that was telling him he needed to get control of me or "put me in my place" (referencing he should hit me). He didn't but the ego it gave him was a hard battel. 8 months into our relationship my mother forced me to move states because I was starting the process of emancipation and she didn't like that. I was still going through with it, it was just a buffer. 2 weeks after I left he was flirting with my friends. We were on and off for 3 months long distance before I said I had enough. When my emancipation was complete (6 months after I moved and about 3 months after we officially split) I let him know because we were still in touch. It was a few days after that he decided he wanted to try things again and came to me. Just a few days of being with me he decided he wanted to go home, with or without me. I reluctantly agreed to go with him even though I was comfortable where I was. We stayed in a trailer for months in the snow with no power or heat but I toughed it out. Eventually we moved in with his family. During that time he broke up with me multiple times to mess aground with other girls. We ended up moving again and he would be gone all the time hanging out with his friends. There were nights I would beg him, crying, for him to just come home and he would refuse We ended up moving again and spent some time with my family (i was 17). 3 days in he called his mom to have someone pick him up. He regretted it and I went and picked him up and brought him back. A few months after that he decided to leave again. 3 days later I was feeling weird. I just had an odd feeling, I didn't miss my period or anything but I had a friend get me a pregnancy test anyway. It came out positive. I didn't want kids, I never did. But I decided to keep the baby because he wanted to. He promised a better life. So he comes and picks me up and we move back in with his family. Everything was going great. Then I miscarried. After the miscarriage he was upset, he was really excited about having a kid. We talk about it and he talked me into trying for one on purpose, his family agreed with this. He promised to drop the weed, drop the beer, get a job and work his ass off for us. That never really happened. So here I am 17, and 5 months pregnant, he has 3 tall cans of beer in his system and starts being an ass. We get into it and he lays his hands on me. I locked him out of the room that night. So he finally drops the alcohol for good. We end up moving again. We got married the day I turned 18 because of his religious family. We fought about the weed and he "quit". But in reality he was just doing it behind my back. He would get mad at me for calling people out on their fake service dogs (I have a service dog and the fakes put me at great risk). He held a job for a really long time, making good money, and spoiling the shit out of me. Eventually we argue about the weed again. I almost left but he said he wouldn't be doing it anymore. Then again we argue about the weed, this time I agree to let him have dab carts. 2 a week. He ended up with between 3-5 a week. Things were really good for a long time after that.
Keep in mind everything I listed was not the entire relationship. Between all these bad moments there are lots of great ones. I have thousands of happy pictures and videos of us.
Now to recently. We moved back to our hometown. He spent a lot of time hanging out with his buddies and leaving me with the baby. He started smoking flower again and had the sudden urge to drink again. I was alone 90% of the time. So where do I go? I have a boy best friend that has been through hell and back with me since the first day of middle school. So I spent a lot of time hanging out with him while my husband was off fucking around like a child. Then the weird questions came in. "Are you doing anything with him while I'm gone?" "Your not cheating on me right?" Ect. No I wasn't. About a week ago I told my bsf I was picking him up from work. While I was in the parking lot waiting my husband calls insiting I pick him up first. I told him no because I didn't have room in the car for both and I was already there waiting. Well that started this whole fit about how asking him to wait 10 minutes was prioritizing my bsf over my husband. Eventually we get to my friends house, and my husband was waiting for us. He was just talking shit and being an ass for 20 minutes before he decided to leave in MY CAR. We argue over text for a while and then he tells me he's done with me. Fine. I give up. I don't care anymore. Then 30 minutes later he's accusing me of cheating with my bsf. He has told all his friends and family that I'm a hoe (my body count is 2 including him and the other one is NOT my bsf). My bsf has been doing his best to take care of me and help me out. Feeding me, taking over the baby, putting gas in my car, letting me stay the night. He's been a life saver for me.
Now it's a week later and he's asking if there is a chance we can work things out in the future... I love him I really do. He has lots of issues tho but so do I. My BPD makes me hard to handle sometimes as do my other mental and health problems.
I'm sure I know what the answer is already but what do I do? I'm a mess.

I’ve been wondering a lot recently how different my childhood would’ve been if I had grown up with brothers instead of sisters. In a lot of cases where trans guys talk about their very obvious signs as a child, they often seem to have brothers. Like when people talk about how they tried to pee standing up for example.
But I grew up with only (older) sisters, so I wasn’t aware that boys peed standing up. When I hit puberty, I was very apathetic towards it. I had already seen my sisters go through it, so I just thought of it as the inevitable thing that was supposed to happen, because I was girl. Like, my reaction to any puberty changes or milestones was just “well this is what’s supposed to happen I guess.”It wasn’t until the boys at school started hitting puberty until the gender dysphoria became way more apparent.
My mom constantly holds this against me, saying I can’t be trans because I didn’t show any childhood signs, because expressed myself very feminine. Like 90% of any pictures of me before the age of 7, I’m wearing pink.
But despite that I was very adamant that I was a tomboy, since I didn’t think that being an actual boy was even a possibility since everyone told me I was a girl. So I’m wondering, if I had grown up with 2 older brothers instead, would I have expressed myself in a much more masculine manner?

Having spent a few dozen hours in the game & menu loading a save file that had 230 gold bricks……. I realized how frustrating this game was and the potential it could’ve had. I just am at a loss for words on the game. This game had SO MUCH POTENTIAl but had too much focus on the toys, & bugs or game breaking engine problems.
I haven't touched dimensions in a hot minute but.. really wish lego added more PATCHES before they shut down the game & wish it got its own remastered lego game without the toys…. or some version with a % meter & better save system…. Feel like if TT worked longer on it, they could have been better fixes with the game & the other lego ip dlc’s.
I noticed a few times HOW ANNOYED I was when my many save files from 2019, 2023, & 2024 all were gone….. on ps4 I just gave up caring and was disappointed.
Starting with the dlc's i noticed things felt off like each dlc was the weakest or too short entry or more specifically the simpsons one recreating the episode with homer & the chilli cook off, of all the new story levels it felt weird. All the other lego film games got it down very well gameplay wise so, why not lego batman movie have its own game...? ALSO THE PUZZLES THE COLOR PUZZLES THE KEYSTONES all annoying. DOING THEM EVERY DAM TIME I GOT SOOOOOO BORED… decent game, fun worlds, annoying locking content in it and no 100% to finish. Only letting the player use a character…. That was Dedicated TO THAT SPECIFIC world locking you out… is annoying also cant access mini-kits without said character… This is not fun TT….
The best level was probably fantastic beasts & that could’ve & should have been added in its own lego Hogwarts FB saga game.
I enjoyed the lego ninjago game more then I thought I would, & the first lego movie game was cool just felt weird they put Lego Batman movie in dimensions vs its own separate actual lego game.
The movie scene cutscenes for each dlc were recreated in the dimensions in-game engine. Very disappointing as the quality difference is very noticeable. On the contrary, The LEGO Movie Game used movie cutscenes beautifully and it worked out really well. Could be a licensing issue, but if not I have no idea why they didn’t just use movie cutscenes where they could. I understand not wanting to release 60% of the movie in the game, but they could always shape it around the scenes shown in the trailer. The batman story pack felt like devs rushed it…. Not bringing actors back for discount va’s. Robin sounds like a kid in this dlc not anything like Michael cera. I can understand if they didn't get every one back for the game for rights or contract issues but just was weird. & newt or the FB story were interesting using new keystone & magic abilties. The ghostbuster ones were weird since I never cared for the movie..
There are a few differences like In the dlc levels, Batman is picked up by Alfred outside the power plant and heads directly to Commissioner Gordon's retirement party. In the film, he heads home and the retirement party is the next evening.
Some of the voice work is off. Many characters don’t sound like they did in the movie (I know they’re different VA’s) Alfred sounds nothing like movie Alfred (Ralph Fiennes), Robin sounds nothing like movie Robin (Michael Cera), etc. Other LEGO projects have had fairly good voice replication.
The LEGO Batman Movie expansion is all and all a success. It’s given us the best portal base so far, as well as the first expansion to give us 2 mini-figures which are both great. The game is great and funny as well as a decent length. The game only suffers from occasional bugs and terrible voice acting.
Maybe I just really disliked the keystone puzzles but I was really disappointed in it overall. The scenes were funny bringing in joker & all the villains, I enjoyed seeing the gremlins & agent smith from matrix & sauron’s eye but wish they made a lego Batman game not within dimensions.
If you want to play around in the LEGO Batman Movie HUB world you can access to the HUB world for maximum fun. Id say just try the hub level if you are interested but I felt bored with the lego batman movie game dlc levels. Sadly its REPLAY-Ability was a 5… compared to fantastic beasts and others.
imagine what they could've done with a full roster of batman's villains & heroes in a full open linear game with gotham, & sure we've had tons of batman games but just loved will arnett's version of batman. I really love will arnett so felt like dimensions needed more of that batman.
Too much clutter & focus on building vehicles when they aren't all that interesting or useful…. Switching from the ecto car to the ghost trap each time felt stupid. Even tho they fixed it in 2016 with the characters instant traps. Flying characters freak out when you are next to the edge of the map & fall off repeatedly or just stand there hovering… did NO ONE THINK about patching that?
No percent on gold bricks collected, or the items…. Why couldn’t they added a save system where if you lose your file you can save & quit with the bricks you found why is it on ps4 ps5…. Somehow deleting the game doesn’t remember where you left off?? Was this a patch that they never fixed?
Also, anyone else find it weird that the courtroom from Ghostbusters 2 isn't in the world? They even have the whole Titanic, something that only appears for 30 seconds in the movie, but one of the most important scenes isn't in the world at all or hell adding more side characters or locations why not explore inside of a building?
Also X-PO talks too much, every line of him talking during hints. I've made the choice to leave the main campaign unfinished just so he can stay silent while I play other levels. In the actual campaign and cutscenes he's fine but they made a huge mistake making him react to puzzles.
The bugs and lack of polish ruin the game..massively this is a massively outdated engine and the more they keep adding to it the buggier the games get. I'd love to see a new one built from the ground up for next gen capable created of anything they can think of with some impressive graphics. When you look at the fidelity of ratchet and clank on PS Pro there's no reason this game can't look as good as the Lego movies or very close, it's just laziness and greed (lack of investment from WB wanting to just churn out content quickly on the old engine) even on ps4 its annoying losing your save file deleting the game then reinstalling It AND LOSING ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!!!
So many boring hubs, & races locking variety or enjoyment, too many hubs that had New York…ghostbusters 1980 New York, ghostbusters 2016 New York……. FB New York…..Lego Batman movie Gotham hub just looks like New York.
The vehicles are very boring, not very interesting too small. Why is chima here??? Random moments that just feel weird the battle arena was fun but after a while I got bored.
Also, I kinda wish there were in game unlockable characters: Like if you bought the Sonic dlc, beating quests would unlock the ability to buy Amy, Tails, Shadow etc. or The Simpsons allowing you to buy Marge, Lisa, maggie or each of the ghostbusters, etc. with studs.
Overall it was an interesting level but could’ve been cooler if we got a lego Batman movie game & just surprised at it not being its own game instead of within dimensions. I know sadly this likely wont happen tho.. it disappoints me that the game is mostly looking at build instructions, back & forth again and again….. I am very upset dimensions wont ever be remastered added with better patches because what I had played felt muddied & not crafted well. I don’t mean to be so negative but it was weird having these problems front & center.

My love,
I think I might be delusional calling you that nowadays. In fact, most likely I am.
I lost my mind some time ago. Scattered into so many pieces across the universe time and time again. It is gone, and I don’t intend on gathering what’s left.
Maybe I will create something new.
Something beautiful and full of vibrance. Indulging in self love. Pouring life back into my soul even after everything that’s been taken.
Loving the little moments I had with you. Letting you go with gratitude, because it was the most damn beautiful heartbreaking story I’ve ever experienced.
I got to love with a love that was more than love.
That’s more than most people could say in their life time.
I miss you dearly.

My love,
I think I might be delusional calling you that nowadays. In fact, most likely I am.
I lost my mind some time ago. Scattered into so many pieces across the universe time and time again. It is gone, and I don’t intend on gathering what’s left.
Maybe I will create something new.
Something beautiful and full of vibrance. Indulging in self love. Pouring life back into my soul even after everything that’s been taken.
Loving the little moments I had with you. Letting you go with gratitude, because it was the most damn beautiful heartbreaking story I’ve ever experienced.
I got to love with a love that was more than love.
That’s more than most people could say in their life time.
I miss you dearly.

To put this short, my friend stayed over for about a month and treated me and my mom with no respect she refused to clean and just trashed my room about three days in I found out she had lice and it was very clear that she knew after that my mom spent around $200 on lice treatment and cleaning supplies I then combed thru her hair for 6 hours. her mom did not offer to pay for anything. she’s been treating me really badly because she’s talking to a boy who confessed his love to me and said he want to pop my cherry. I told her that he said that and she did not care. I’ve gotten multiple arguments with her about it and there’s just no emotion. She hasn’t been in school since sixth grade, her grammar is terrible she doesn’t know how to have conversations I haven’t had a serious conversation with her in two years, their house is infested with bugs and it’s dirty. she’s planning to come back and I just can’t do it. She doesn’t care about my feelings and she thinks she’s better than me because she was raised in poverty. I honestly don’t know if I can be friends with her anymore. There’s so much more I could say I just can’t fit.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

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Couple of weeks ago I met a guy on a dating app. At the time I wasn't looking for anything serious and so was he. We met & things went well so we decided to hook up. I admit it was pretty good. Yesterday I messaged him and asked if he'd like to meet up again. He said he's very busy these days & sent me a photo of him in a hospital gown holding a baby. There was a woman in the background also in a hospital gown, who I assumed was his wife. I was shocked and didn't really say anything except congrats & put a heart react to his message.
To be clear, there was nothing on his profile about being married. He didn't say anything about a wife when we met. What's bothering me is that I didn't ask either. I feel like I should've asked and I'm TAH for not making sure he was not married.
Some friends think I should contact the wife & tell her what happened. Others say I shouldn't stress her so soon after childbirth.
So AITAH for not making sure the guy wasn't married before sleeping with him? Should I contact the wife?

Homeworld 3 is on track to becoming my least favorite HW game. Is it terrible? No. Is it great? Also no. Is it *good*? Eeeh... also no, not really. But it's also not bad. It's very mid.
Homeworld 3 *definitely* does not have the original’s gripping story or sense of mystery and player freedom.
It also does not have Cataclysm’s incredibly rewarding rags-to-riches feeling.
It also also does not have Homeworld 2’s polished gameplay.
And it also does not have Desert’s of Kharak fresh new take on the genre and franchise.
It’s okay. That’s about it.
Visuals and UI
It's stunningly beautiful, like every HW game. Space is gorgeous, filled with visual spectacle and lovingly detailed ships and environments (though frankly, space battles in this game are visually far less impressive than any previous installment). I'm not a sound guy so I have very little to say except that for my money the sound design is actually more impressive than the graphics. Everything from explosions to weapon effects to the background chatter sounds lovely.
UI is clunky as hell, I'm about six hours in and I'm still not friends with the camera and I can never orient myself quickly. Ships often feel like they're not responding to orders – I might be wrong, but I find myself going back to double-check that I definitely ordered those corvettes to guard that frigate etc. It feels much more micro-managey than previous installments.
Gameplay
Lots of features introduced in HW2 are gone: Fighters and corvettes no longer belong to squads, you’re back to each fighter being an individual unit. Modules are gone – you don’t build certain types of sensors or research modules or cloaks or fire control modules etc. I’ve not played around with carriers much yet but it seems they also come out of the construction bay completely finished, without any additions you can make, unlike in HW2 where you could specialize them. If there is an equivalent to the Research Module from HW1 or any other way to affect research speed or to give you more options the game hasn't introduced it yet (I'm on mission 8).
The number of units in the game also seems a little disappointing. I've unlocked three types of fighters, four types of frigates and at least one capital ship but only one type of corvette? Leads me to believe there only is one type, which would be very disappointing.
Minor detail but the ship design is for the most part really dull, too. Even quite closely zoomed in it's hard to distinguish one ship from another - their silhouettes just blend together.
In short, HW3 has less choices you can make and much more to keep you constantly busy.
The game takes a lot of liberties with player agency: They've opted to remove the option to let you decide when you’re done with one level and proceed to the next. Unlike previous games (at least unlike HW1 and Cata) once you complete the last mission objective you enter a cutscene and the level ends. No time to gather resources or replace casualties taken.
One of the missions also takes a break for the Mothership to be repaired off-screen and when you are put back into control the game gives you a bunch of mine-laying corvettes, defense turrets and a carrier - units you've not researched, not built and that the game decided you should have for the next mission. The mission after that provides you with a small fleet of ships to conduct a raid – you have no hand in selecting these ships, they’re not taken from your own fleet, they’re just magicked into existence because the game decided you needed them for the story. I've been told there's a custom difficulty setting that changes this - why in the hell you make that setting the default is beyond me.
Disappointing for a game series that used to let you build your own fleet more or less uninstructed and make it work (or not) on your own terms.
In 1998 this gameplay was fine (although better executed) and in 2003 the sequel gave it a much-needed polish that honestly holds up OK to this day, imo. But HW3 has regressed back to what HW1 did in ’98 and then stripped off some of the polish so beware this plays like a very dated game.
Story
The story is a bit messy - though this isn't entirely its fault. HW2 already made a mess of the story of this world. The motivation for you being in control of *another* mothership and once again being given a mighty starting host of a Resource Collector and five scouts despite the Hiigarans by now being major galactic player is no more or less ham-fisted than it was in HW2. HW2 was the game who leaned fully into mysticism and Chosen One prophecies and muddled up the genre, can't really blame HW3 for not course-correcting.
However the game is *way* too in love with exposition dumping. One mission involves navigating the Mothership through an asteroid field and am not kidding when I say that playing through the mission only took marginally longer than the cutscene once I reached the end. It was five minutes if not more. The cutscenes are gorgeous and the voice acting great, but they end up becoming more distracting than rewarding. They also do not go at all for the classic Homeworld look, nor do they attempt for a twist on them like Deserts of Kharak; they’re just pre-rendered full-on cutscenes with people carrying out full conversations to advance the plot.
Honestly I half-expected for there to be a dialogue wheel after a while. The plot is fairly unsurprising so far. Everything is just very predictable and uninspired.
The story focuses on Imogen S'Jet, a descendant of Karan S'Jet. I didn't mind this switch in narrative to follow single individuals so clearly in Deserts of Kharak because that game felt so different overall (in a good way, I very much enjoyed DoK); a prequel not set in space exploring Kushan society rather than Hiigaran society like Cata did. But in a full-blown 'proper' Homeworld game I much prefer the inner workings of the ships to be a little more mysterious and up to the imagination, and for the story to follow the epic tale of *a people*, not of *persons*.
Conclusion
I backed this game on Fig years ago and I’m glad I did – if I’d paid €59 for it now and gotten it in the state it’s in I’d have felt cheated. I can’t comment on the Multiplayer or the War Mode – I only really play HW for the Singleplayer Campaigns.
Fans of Homeworld *might* enjoy it if they go in with low expectations. New players will probably find this game enjoyable enough, if a little basic and clunky to play. Neither should pay €59 for it, though.
Presentation - stunning. Gameplay – disappointing. Story - meh. 6/10

i had two premolar extractions last Friday and yesterday was just the worst lol (so far?)
nothing much to say about the operation itself, i was a good boy and my dentist and his assistants did a good job
post-extraction advice felt kinda casual, like he was confident it won't be much of a deal as long as i followed the advice to heart:

• gargle with some antiseptic solution soon (i actually forgot about this lmao)
• he gave me two more sets of the cotton ball things that i should replace after 30 mins
• no heavy lifting, no fishy(?) foods, no food with small hard bits like peanuts as they can get stuck in the sockets, minimize exposure to the sun
• brush more often than usual (after meals?) and use mouthwash after
• prescribed antibiotics and painkillers just in case they're needed

i was still able to do some errands after (since i was already out) and it didn't really feel like much. just weird i had a smoothie then for lunch which in hindsight i should've eaten with a spoon of some sort as the empty spaces make using a straw kinda weird and difficult
next day there was some pain so i figured i should try my best to just sleep as much as i could, had soup and tofu for my meals
Sunday wasn't so remarkable either iirc there was some pain but all i remember is that i devoured a tub of spaghetti
Now yesterday, i wasn't so sure why but like huh
i probably misremembered the days prior just cause i was already past them but i remember starting my day thinking "oh it's really getting better now"
was it because i tried eating fried chicken for dinner? or that i used my tongue so much to feel the sockets yesterday, only to realize after the pain had been getting worse that i should not have even done that? lmao
anyway the pain wasn't so different from the days before but yesterday it just felt like the pain kept on growing
eating the chicken wasn't impossible but i had to take twice the amount of time than usual so i could be careful
after dinner (i was still at work btw) i was giving myself a lot of pep talk in my head thinking stuff like

• if monks could do it, ignore pain and all that then i can too
  
• old people tend to have perma body pain so it's probably like this, it's understandable they're often so easily annoyed and irritated
  
• this is my life now, i will harbor this pain for the rest of my miserable life
  
• painkillers are for the weak
  

but my god
well it wasn't unbearable strictly speaking, but it was so annoying it was hard to do anything.
my cheeks and temples feel so swollen, and there was a bit of a sharp pain on the teeth next to the sockets. i even munched up a cotton ball like i did day 1 thinking the clot may have been undone but there was no blood in there
so i thought i'm doing fine, the pain is just normal
but ugh it just kept on escalating
btw if this pain is any comparable to period cramps - ladies life is so unfair for you and the whole world as a society needs to do better. it's bs that you'll have to deal with that while biological men don't, plus you get ridiculed for it
so i hurried home and took my usual shower and it kept getting worse somehow, like at this point i was getting chills from rawdogging the pain. it reminded me of that time when i had my hair bleached and the bleaching agent hit the roots. it was painful and when the lady asked if i was fine i said i was okay, but all the sweat dripping on my cheeks suggests we shouldn't continue because i was in pain that i wasn't supposed to be enduring
i thought "huh so that's why my dentist prescribed painkillers" as i realize it's late at night and there isn't a drug store nearby in case i really needed them
fuck it lmao
and here's the cool part
as i laid down in bed to sleep, the pain almost instantly subsided (or cut in half at least) like wtf???? the body is really an incredible miracle
it's like the escalating pain was my body telling me to sleep and rest so they can work on the anomaly, and true enough as soon as i closed my eyes and thought of dreaming the pain was gone (or did i actually die ie "no more pain"?)
the pain throughout yesterday was worse than the days before but unlike those days i didn't feel pain at all when i tried to sleep what the hell is going on
i woke up today and there was barely any pain, i can feel a teeny tiny bit of swelling on the same parts but it sort of feels like a hangover from yesterday's ordeal (and miracle)
hopefully it gets better from here and my teeth begin to move
have painkillers handy. my life is pretty boring so i choose masochism in moments like these ig

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I don’t agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.

Its so cringe. It definitely shows that Islam is written by a man for men who are incel like.
Whenever a video has a hijabi even when the topic isn't religion just things like how do Egyptians cook their rice or whatever you get thousands of Muslim men going like this sister is so beautiful omg. Or praise Allah this sister is so smart she knows how to cook eggs.
However I've also seen when Muslim women say things about Islam they are told they are stupid and can't represent Islam. When a Muslim woman doesn't wear hijab she disgraces Islam the worse is I've seen a lot of videos in support of Islams polygamy and the justifying it by calling women whores. Like some of them are definitely not shy about saying Islam is for men.
Do Muslim men even like women? We see memes asking in general if men like women but I'm gonna be specific and do Muslim men like women?

Can I ask for some advice about something? What would you do if you are in my place. my best friend let's call her Ruby. Ruby moved about two years ago now, she was going to come back and visit for graduation week and wanted the friend group to hang out like we used to, when i told her i didn't believe it would be possible she has continued to push for us to all hang out. I finally told her the reason that it would not work out she completely ignored me. Now the reason the friend group hanging like we used to won't work out is because this ex friend of mine who I'll call cici randomly after a school essay I wrote quite talking to me and started to spread rumors about me the essay was supposed to carry so sort of theme that means somthing to us so I wrote mine on how it can feel to be in the middle of a friend group that is arguing and not knowing what to do. I will copy and past the essay below the rest of the story. After I turn the essay in cici somehow gets a hold of it and spins it to sound like I'm attacking her and im bullying her and so for the month of February everyone ignores me which really hurt because I had no idea why as they just on day started to ignore me it also was my birthday that month and I had no one to share it with. After a while lila,Taylor and Sara realize what happened and apologized for what they did and I quite trying to communicate with cici. After I quite reaching out to her and trying to protect a dying fire my mental health improves to a point where not only I noticed but my teachers noticed also. Back to my earlier topic I told ruby that I refuse to hang out with cici because she has been treating me like shit and my parents won't even let me see/talk to her outside a school sanctioned event because at are very last sleep over before she she started to ignore me almost ended with me In the hospital because her brother threatened me with a knife and their dog attacked me because i used self defense to get the knife from her brother. During this sleepover cici's parents were awar of what happened and didn't tell my mom so after that I wasn't allowed back to their house. Even after all that I still tried to keep that friendship alive if not only because I cared for cici but also for ruby. Still despite all these reasons ruby refused to split her time between us and Is no longer coming. AITAH for refusing to hang out with someone who has betrayed my trust and put me in a dangerous situation just because my friend who moved away wants us to hang out together?
Here is the essay
Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. A few days after spring break in 8th grade my friend Cici started hanging out with a girl that the rest of our friend group doesn’t like because she is mean and rude. So we told her what we thought of this girl and that she could hang out with her but we didn’t want to be near a person like that, however Cici did not listen and kept inviting her to hang out with us. My other friend Sara was starting to get really upset because this girl was calling her names and bullying her. This same girl had also left intentional bruises on my body because I told her I already had a partner in pe. Finally, after months and months of off and on fighting it was the last day of school. Sara had finally had enough of how the girl had treated us and snapped as she listed off all the hateful and violent things that this girl had done to me, Lila, Ruby some of our other friends. The girl then started to ball saying how all of us are liars and cici shouldn'tlisten to us about anything that we say. During this entire situation I stayed quiet and listened to what the others had to say, because I wanted to say something but didn't know what to say to fix the situation.For weeks after that cici and sara refused to talk to each other, until I finally managed to get them to both apologize. Then for a while after that everything seemed good. A new girl who I will call Tyler moved to town and we basically absorbed her into the friend group. Things were going well until about four weeks into our ninth grade year. Sara started to be exceedingly hostile the rude girl Cici had been hanging out with sense last year, Which caused fighting to break out. So then Sara started to distance herself from us to hang out with a guy who i also used to consider a friend i will call him jem. Now the reasonme and jem are no longer friendsis becausehe told my to off myself several times over the course of about two months.So as they are hanging out jem is also constantly flirting with her, so we make a joke that they were dating. This caused sara to explode at everyone in the group chat. When she texted in the group chat she directed all of the texts about it to Cici and when I confessed that it was me who was made and the joke she proceeded to say that it was Cici’s fault and that it “ IS NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT!! You know what I think of rumors and dating.” We all replied saying it didn't mean for it to be a big deal and we weren't making fun of her that it was only a joke. Sara proceeded to snap back “If we are in relationships with guys, it's not something to joke about. When other people believe it, then it's too much.” So in response Ruby answered with “You literally would make fun of me and my old boyfriend tim back when we were dating.” Then Lila added, “Yeah you make me feel like crap about me and Carl all the time and guess what you coming after Cici being a jerk to Cici for everything saying that everything that everything the "rude girl" knows and does is because of her. There's also the fact that when you tease and make fun of us we are supposed to deal with it, but when we do it to you we are rude horrible people." Sara’s only response to that was “You guys never said that you weren't ok with it. You just need to tell us, and we will stop. No one ever said anything, so we thought it was ok.” I responded with “who is the we in this situation, because I told people to stop when they crossed a boundary and that one of the only people who never listened or apologized for it was lila. I haven't even taken anybody's side throughout this whole situation” after I say this, Sara goes off again. “I'm done ok. Just leave me out of all this. Be your own friend group. I'll be a singular person, and then I won't have to be a burden to anyone. Sorry I was such a bad friend. Also I don't want any pity.” At this point everyone is annoyed and tired of this situation so Ruby speaks up again telling Sara that she is not the main character and to grow up, and that she started it. After this Sara separates herself from us and as a week turns to two weeks then two weeks turns into a month. Between all of the fighting, homework, sports, and everyday stress I start to become irritable and snappy because no matter how much I try to stay neutral to keep peace, Sara and Cici are always fighting. So one time when the fighting over text picks up again I end up snapping at my family and yelling something at them that everyone would probably be happier if i just died. The next day I tried to act like everything was fine. I ended up making it until PE where I ended up breaking down infront of my teacher and skipping school for the rest of the day in the office crying my eyes out to the guidance counselor. I told her everything that happened and that sometimes when I tell my friends things I don't like or feel comfortable with, they sometimes will forget or ignore what i say. Which always makes me angry or sad because I always take the time to understand and respect my friends boundaries. that's when I realized that just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. Despite that fact I will always respect others boundaries even if they don’t respect mine and I will always remind others of my boundaries or distance myself from them. Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand and just because you can/want to say or do something hurtful doesn’t mean that you should. Know where to darw the line.

Stuck and need to let it out
Before i start i know i am very stupid for the choices i made. I (26f) got married to my husband (30m) when i was 21 we met from mutual friends and i fell in love with him and it was a feeling ill never forget. He was an amazing guy until he wasn’t he was always very charming and people instantly liked him when meeting him. There is more details but i am going to try to sum it up. I worked a little after marriage than covid hit and i got pregnant with my first born. He took care of me financially always and assured me i dont need to work anyways. I was with him when he was struggling i never complained as a newly wed who barley got to spend time with her husband because i understood i never asked him to take me out or anything i stood by him and now hes very successful (ill get back to why i mentioned that later) my pregnancy was very stressful in my 7th month he hit me and i had bruises on my neck and face i dont even remember what the fight was about after giving birth i struggled alot i was 22 years old i kept finding porn and videos being sent between friends which i have seen before but it started to make me feel bad about myself which i have always been confident before him i told him it bothered me and it never stopped so now im 23 and insecure and i alter my body and do a procedure thinking that will fix things (as i said i know im stupid) he strangled me 2 months after giving birth to the point that i passed out and woke up he almost killed me i never told anyone. He kept saying hes changing and well work things out so i forgave him. My family dosent believe in divorce and as much support i have from them i don’t want to disappoint them. We did good for a little bit we moved to a bigger place and than we moved again to another bigger place that i am in currently. In between all of that there was stuff that i kept seeing that hurt me and bothered me but anytime i say anything he says its me who keeps digging which is true because i grew up having a father who cheated on my mom and i saw it first hand im not going to lie it traumatized me but i did not project it on him until after he started doing the things he did. Hes a very jealous person himself he always tried to control everything he hates that im good looking he tells me all the time he should have married someone “ugly” i do NOT dress provocative at all i barley show any skin but somehow EVERYTHING always leads back to how i dress and all our problems are my fault because of how i dress he says that when we go out men always check me out and it angers him even tho i am not showing any damn skin. Anyways mothers day 2022 he hit me again but he says he didnt but the bruises on my arms say otherwise i have pictures of it and it was bad he tried to throw me down the stairs i begged him not to. Sadly i still wanted to be loved i forgave him moved on he is would buy me gifts and cards and because im so stupid i believed he was sorry anyways now its 2023 and i find out im pregnant i didnt know how i felt my first born was lonley so i thought at least they will have a sibling.. surprise its twins and i knew im going to go through it i had the worse pregnancy i almost died i developed pre eclampsia and my doctor missed it i gave birth early my whole pregnancy i was alone i was so lonley just me and my first born i cried everyday husband was working so i couldn’t complain without it turning to a fight even though its his company and he could afford to have been there a little for me it is not 7 months after i gave birth physically i feel good mentally i dont he is never there for me as a husband i been telling him i feel like he’s just a roomate at this point we have no dates barley any intimacy which had been going on for years i know hes insecure and i never used it against him but he always would to me he hates now that i bounced back quickly and like to dress up again because the end of my pregnancy i was very swollen i was wearing all his clothes. I kept crying telling him i have needs just like anyone else i want to feel loved i dont want to live like this but anytime i say anything he says i complain to much now last week he beat me over nothing it was 60 seconds into a petty argument and he attacked me i packed myself and my 3 kids he watched me packing calling me names i left to a hotel for a night nd than my moms house he got backlash from both our families i ended up having to come home for the kids im miserable hes not sorry mothers day he barley acknowledged me But we spent the day and today any time we try to talk about anything he blames me.
I know im stupid i dont know how i can start over again i have 3 kids i am in the works of going back to school so when the babys start school ill have my career because i am financially dependent on him which is my fault i worked since i was 14 but he convinced me not to anymore My oldest loves their father so much it hurts me to put my baby through this drama There is soooooo much more detail and stuff to add Hes not the worse person i guess i bring out the bad in him when all i ever wanted was to be in a healthy marriage and give my kids what i didn’t have growing up
I dont know what to do i know i have to finish school so i can get a stable job but that means i have to stay and suck it up
I never wanted to be divorced but this marriage is over i always thought cheating was the only reason for divorce i am not in love with him but its so hard to let it go i never was like this i was so out going the life of the party i dont even recognize myself i feel so sad and depressed and alone i have the most amazing friends but i cant get myself to open up

Hi guys. Firstly, burner account for obvious reasons. Secondly I want some.... outside perspective on this.
So I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend John (37M) for close to a year. John has a really great job but has a pet project living his dream of putting a music project together. You would never know he has no formal experience but he has a great ear and he found a really great musician to start off. A beautiful talented young woman by the name of Tammy (25F), whom John has no interest in romantically because, well... he is with me and is happy with me.
Now Tammy is bisexual and it's no secret she has a crush on me. Always hugging me, wanting to put her arm around me to take selfies with me, always complimenting me. I am not uncomfortable with it and neither is John because he feels it's just harmless affection between between two new besties.
One day I ask to speak to her in private and I tell her that John has this weird thing about wanting to lick my armpits during sex (I don't mind, just I never had a partner doing... that before and it actually feels good) and I asked her if she ever had a partner focus on it. She says no, but asks if I can raise my arms up. I do, and she says "I can see why John likes to lick them, even your armpits are gorgeous." She always makes a point to gush on me. Sorry for the TMI, btw.
When me and John got in the car later that day I tell him what I talked to Tammy about. He said, and I quote, "We all know her lesbian crush on you. I know you say you're hetero, but if you ever want to scratch that lesbian itch I am giving you a hall pass.... a lesbian hall pass where I will not consider it cheating as long as it's with another girl." I tell him thanks but it will never be used, and that's the end of it....
....Fast forward to a month later and John is out of town for a work thing. Tammy invites me out to go clubbing with her, and I accept. We go and have a great time, dancing, then she suddenly leans in and kisses me! At first I was taken aback, but then I remember the hall pass and decide to kiss her back. Well let's just say that we couldn't wait to get back to her place and just lay into each other.... she also got why my BF liked my armpits. It was my very first time doing anything with a woman and although I enjoyed the experience, I think I would rather be with my guy.
When John got back the next day, I couldn't hold back and told him I used the lesbian hall pass. He asked, "Who was the lucky lady?" When I tell him it was Tammy, he got quiet, then said "Of all the women you had to pick Tammy?" I told him he didn't say she was off limits or anything so why not? He told me, "What you did was like clicking the unsubscribe link in a spam email. It doesn't do what you think it does. By having sex with her, she is likely going to think she has a shot of being with you as her girlfriend." I tell him that's silly, she knows I am with you.
A couple of days later she comes to my house and tells me that she really likes me and that night confirmed her feelings for me. I tell her that our night together was a one-time only show and I am with John not to mention I am not really into women (Alcohol was involved). She burst into tears, left in a hurry and John said she called him and asked to take a break from the pet project. My friends that I told are saying I am the asshole not for using the hallpass but for deciding to use it on John's partner knowing her crush. But AITAH if John didn't tell me up from the start not to use it on her?