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2024.05.14 14:28 Virtual-Grade592 [AA4A] [FF4A] [MM4A] [FM4A] Helping an adoptive vampire with their first time feeding [vampire] [established relationship] [reverse comfort] [infertility] [part 4]
This is part 4 of my infertile vampire series. You can find the other parts in my masterlist: My masterlist :
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
submitted by Virtual-Grade592 to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
I put the script in scriptbin for ease of recording (I heard some VA's prefer reading it from there): Virtual-Grade592: [A4A] [F4A] [M4A] Your vampire partner is infertile [vampire] [established relationship] - scriptbin
It's okay to fill this script and make minor adjustments. Please give me credit for writing the script and put a link in the comments so that I can find your audio. It's okay to paywall, but send me a copy of the audio then.
This part will have 2 speakers, the infertile vampire partner and the adoptive vampire. I’ve given the infertile vampire partner the name Alex, so I’ll use an A to indicate when they speaks and the adoptive vampire is called Ender, so I’ll use an E to indicate when they speak. Feel free to change pronouns and names to fit your audio.
(several days have passed since Ender started living with Alex and the listener. Ender has been gradually getting more at ease with their vampiric nature. Today all of you sit down to discuss the next step in Ender’s education as a vampire.)
[The listener, Alex and Ender sit down on a couple of chairs in the living room]
E: *nervous* I’m not ready for this.
A: *reassuring* Everyone is anxious for the first time they need to feed. You’re such a calm vampire, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
E: *still anxious* But what if I lose control? The blood bags you’ve been feeding me taste so much better than the animal blood I drank before. What if I can’t stop once I start?
A: You’re worrying too much. We aren’t the bloodthirsty monsters that the media portrays us as. Your hunger is the same as when you were human. Only starving or psychopathic vampires would drain a human to the point of death.
E: *unsure* I still feel that this is dangerous. When I arrived here, I had trouble restraining myself from drinking from them.
A: Back then you were starving. Your survival instinct was screaming at you that you needed blood. And you didn’t even give in to it. Now you aren’t starving. At this moment does it feel like you need to bite a human?
E: No, I’m fine now.
A: My point exactly. You’re fine and you’ll still be fine if you feed.
E: *slowly building up courage* I suppose you are right. It feels daunting though. I imagine many things could go wrong, like I could accidentally bite their artery. But those are worst case scenarios right?
A: Yes, that’s right. Those are just worst case scenarios and they are very rare. In all the years I’ve been feeding off of them *pointing at the listener* There were never any problems. All that will happen is that your partner gets a bit fatigued. *cheeky* Or they’ll get turned on if they have a thing for vampires.
[pause]
A: *amused* Aw that’s cute, look at the both of you blushing. I understand that Ender might be flustered at their first time feeding, *Alex turns to the listener* But I’ve fed plenty of times on you, my darling. Why are you bashful about the notion of Ender drinking from you?
[pause]
A: You’re afraid it’ll be too intimate? Hey sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with how you’ll react or feel when being fed on. I won’t see it as cheating if you get hot and bothered. It’s only cheating if you act on it. You don’t need to be ashamed if you get a bit, um how to say this … excited? Yeah excited. It’s okay if you get excited from being fed on. You’re married to a vampire, it’s normal to like being bitten. And if it gets too much for you then *suggestive* we can always retire to our bedroom to ‘deal’ with any overwhelming emotions.
[pause]
A: That seems to have put you at ease. It’s going to be okay darling. It’ll just be like me feeding on you. And I’ll guide Ender through it all to keep you and them safe.
E: *stammering nervously* Um, c-could we do this another time? I-I still don’t feel r-ready. I t-think It’ll be easier if I had more time to mentally prepare myself.
A: *encouraging* Ender, I can tell that you are ready now. You’ve been doing fine this last week and you are cautious. I know this will go alright. If we delay it now, it’ll just become more daunting to bite a human. The extra time will just increase your nervousness, not lessen it. So please believe me, because now is the best time to do your first feeding.
E: *getting more confident* Maybe you’re right. I should try at some point, so why not now. Even if something goes wrong, you’re here to help.
A: That’s the spirit. So when you’re ready, sit down next to our prospective bite victim.
[Ender sits down next to the listener]
A: Now, feeding takes three simple steps. First, put some of your saliva on the part of the skin you want to feed on. Our saliva has a numbing effect on humans, so this way your prey won’t feel pain from your bite. If your victim has been particularly annoying, then I’d spit on them, but otherwise it’s nicer to apply your saliva with a kiss. Second you bite the skin and begin drinking. Third when you’ve had your fill, you remove your fangs and catch your prey if they got too drained from the blood loss. Then you are done.
E: Okay, I think I can do that. Human, if you want me to stop at any moment, just squeeze my hand or tell me to stop. Are you ready as well?
[pause]
E: Good, then I’ll begin.
[sound of Ender giving one kiss on the neck]
E: *uncertain* There’s the saliva. Is it working? Are you feeling numb?
[pause]
E: Yeah? Okay, then I’ll bite you now.
[sound of a bite and the sucking of blood]
[after a few moments Ender stops the bite]
E: *pleasantly surprised* Huh, that was a lot easier than expected. Are you feeling okay?
[pause]
E: Phew, that’s good. I’m glad you’re fine.
A: To me it seems alright as well. Sweetheart can you tilt your neck? I want to check the wound just in case.
[listener tilts neck]
A: *pleased* This is a very clean wound. It’s hardly worse than a papercut. You did well Ender, you can be proud.
E: It felt surprisingly good. I could certainly get used to this.
A: *amused* My, my, you’re really getting used to your vampirism aren’t you. Already eager to bite more humans and taste their delicious blood. It’s a good thing you are kind-hearted or humanity would have to fear a new predator in the night.
E: *flustered* If you put it like that, it sounds like I’m getting bloodthirsty. I just liked biting them. But I don’t want to go hunting them and forcefully feed off of them.
A: *chuckling* That’s adorable dear. You won’t have to worry about hunting anyone. There are plenty of humans with a thing for vampires. Whenever you feel like biting anyone, just find one of them. They’ll happily consent to being fed upon. Especially wit the internet it’s easy to find people who want to do some vampire ‘roleplaying’.
E: *Surprised* It’s that easy? People even like our bite?
A: Oh yes, they certainly do. Just look at my partner. They seem quite satisfied from the ordeal. And you’re happy with how it all went, right darling?
[pause]
E: That’s a relief. I’d hate it if I had to hurt someone every time I ate.
A: Oh that won’t happen. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to find these humans eager to be bitten. And you’ll be surprised how many of them there are.
E: *excited* Ooh, I can’t wait for it.
A: Great, then we’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow morning. But for now let’s start on dinner. My sweetheart can use some food after losing blood.
[fade to black as the three of them get dinner ready]
2024.05.14 13:57 Easy_Bake2740 I've been thinking about selling my pics
Heyy so I'm a 14F and I've been thinking about selling my nudes:3 I'm a bit petite and small, and I've been giving out my pics for free (not like they're worth a lot) but anyways, I don't have any cards so I was thinking about instead of charging real money I could charge robux:3 but I'm not sure if anyone would want young nudes for robux, would anyone be interested? :3
submitted by Easy_Bake2740 to u/Easy_Bake2740 [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 13:54 zeldadinosaur1110 tʷink Grammar Part 2
Good evening, readers. I apologise for the longer-than-expected delay and general inactivity between the publishing of this essay and my last one. I hope that you are not bothered by it, because I cannot promise to increase the frequency of my essays.
With that out of the way, let us proceed to talk about tʷink grammar. If you haven’t already, please read my previous two essays about tʷink phonology and syntax. Those will give you a lot of context as to what the tʷink language is. If you choose to read this without reading the previous essays, please be prepared to be very confused as I will assume that you will have read my two previous essays.
To see an example of the classifiers being used, read the sentence below:
muʔwaʔ siɣ
go-CLF.HMN-1P many
We are going.
submitted by zeldadinosaur1110 to conlangs [link] [comments]
With that out of the way, let us proceed to talk about tʷink grammar. If you haven’t already, please read my previous two essays about tʷink phonology and syntax. Those will give you a lot of context as to what the tʷink language is. If you choose to read this without reading the previous essays, please be prepared to be very confused as I will assume that you will have read my two previous essays.
Nouns
tʷink nouns are relatively simple, especially compared to the rest of the grammar, because they do not get declined for anything other than the obligatory classifiers demonstrated in the table below:| Noun | Pronoun | |
|---|---|---|
| Human | qʷa- | wa- |
| Object | ʔiws- | ʔih- |
| Idea | dam/n- | da- |
muʔwaʔ siɣ
go-CLF.HMN-1P many
We are going.
Notes
•The declensions in the second column are only used for pronounsVerbs
In comparison, tʷink verbs are far more complex, as evidenced by the fact that they decline for person, number and tense. They are so complex that you could make entire sentences using just a single word. To see the charts for person, number and tense, see below:| 1st Person | 2nd Person | 3rd Person | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nominative | -t(a) | -(h)an | -aht/ħat |
| Accusative | -tix | -(h)anix | -aħtix/ħatix |
| Perfective | Imperfective | |
|---|---|---|
| Past | -ginʔ | -(h)inʔ |
| Present | -g(a) | - |
| Future | -gakah | -kah |
Notes
•Some verbs are irregular and do not follow these prescribed patterns, such as the verb muʔ, meaning to goEnding Message
This essay only covers the basics of tʷink grammar, and there are still more details I have yet to talk about. If you have any questions or constructive criticism, feel free to tell me. Otherwise, I hope that any supernatural beings between now and the next time to care for you.2024.05.14 13:53 crispypotat0o My friend blocked for the second time because of his gf after saying he won’t.
Hello guys I’m abit upset with what to do. So me and him have been friends a year now and we met through my online bestie let’s call her Rose. And we got close he told me a lot about his personal life things and he has never said anything weird or flirty he is younger than us also and me and Rose have him as a little bother. So we used to game a lot together and talk all three of us and he got a gf and he was normal in the beginning but as time went on he got abit distant from me? I didn’t think much of it I didn’t say anything or bother him. And then I got blocked for no reason. Cus we hadn’t even talk for a while I didn’t want to bother him. So my bestie Rose called him out on his behaviour and said that I did nothing to be blocked and it’s ass move and I was genuinely upset. And he ended up removing her but not blocking her out of anger. Anyways a week after he asked me to get into game chat and he apologised and he said his gf had an issue with me but he explained to her that there’s nothing between us and we are like sis and bro and nothing else because apparently she has been cheated before but it made no sense because she has no issue with Rose that he knows WAY longer. Anyways he was normal again for a few days until he got weird and distant again. We played like two times ? And never alone (this is important for later) So I was like AGAIN I won’t bother him. And a few days ago he joined game chat with me and my bestie Rose and he said that his gf is fighting him over me again and I was like but why? I haven’t even bothered you. And he said that she just doesn’t like me and wants him to block me again and he told her that he won’t because i haven’t done anything to her or to their relationship for her to act so paranoid and I said to him we haven’t even played u been so distant and I haven’t bothered u and he said he knows and he doesn’t understand why she’s so obsessed with me and she literally said that the two times we played because she wasn’t home at the time and he plays in secret with me the two times we played lol which he doesn’t … he literally tells her and she has been infront when he games with me so she has seen we don’t talk weird ahit even on our messages we don’t say weird shit . Anyways he said he wouldn’t block me again for her Bcs it’s not fair to me and stuff and anyways… I got blocked again two days after him saying that and telling us how it’s nice to fianlly have someone to talk about this and finally talk and laugh... and I don’t know what to do?do I confront him? Do I leave it?do I accept the next apology? What do I do?
Edit: thank you to anyone replying. I appreciate you taking the time. I am going to leave things as they are , focus on the friends I have and be drama free and as someone said if they come around cool if they don’t then that’s okay too.
submitted by crispypotat0o to GirlGamers [link] [comments]
Edit: thank you to anyone replying. I appreciate you taking the time. I am going to leave things as they are , focus on the friends I have and be drama free and as someone said if they come around cool if they don’t then that’s okay too.
2024.05.14 13:01 ImM3llow 26 [M4F] East Coast / Anywhere. I just got diagnosed as your boyfriend. Yeah no they said it's terminal we have to stay together forever until i die🤷♂️
Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#187
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)
submitted by ImM3llow to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)
2024.05.14 12:50 theashtraygirl27 I'm just looking for advice. Am I (20F) wrong for having a reaction every time my bf (19M) is doing something I told him will hurt me or upset me?
Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
submitted by theashtraygirl27 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
2024.05.14 12:50 FantasticCabinet2623 Calling all cheaters.
Yeah, I cheat and I admit it, lol. SDV is a game I play in my limited free time; I'm not interested in making a chore of it. I do have limits, however; I won't add money, for instance, and I don't spawn quest items. My Watsonian logic is, I had to have savings from that soulless Joja job.
There have to be other people like me, so my question is: what are your favorite (small or big) cheats that make the game fun for you? Mine:
submitted by FantasticCabinet2623 to StardewValley [link] [comments]
There have to be other people like me, so my question is: what are your favorite (small or big) cheats that make the game fun for you? Mine:
- Instant Catch, bc fuck fishing.
- increasing my speed a little, because I got things to do.
- spawning a Small Glow Rings, since it's only sensible to have a torch/flashlight.
- spawning some decent-value foods for long mining days. I use them sparingly, but I still used them.
2024.05.14 12:50 JuniorCandidate1136 Has anyone else’s Q family member/friend become incredibly selfish and heartless since joining the Qult?
A close relative of mine became involved with QAnon back in 2020. Since then, it feels like she’s become a completely different person.
She’s always had a selfish streak, but was overall a kind and loving person before joining the Qult.
I know that dramatic personality and behavioural changes are to be expected when someone finds their way into a cult, but I’ve been taken aback by how selfish, spiteful, inconsiderate and downright cruel my Q relative has become.
Since joining Q, she’s cheated on her husband, taken pride in ruining another woman’s marriage (her affair partner was married too), and mocked her affair partner’s wife when she attempted suicide (this was after the poor woman found out her husband had cheated with my Q relative).
After she suddenly divorced her husband a few years ago (they’d been married for 30 years, he has no idea that my Q relative cheated on him), my parents took her in, letting her live with them until she got back on her feet… well, that was the plan.
Two years later, she’s still living with them rent-free and has no intention of leaving anytime soon. She doesn’t contribute financially at all. She’s taken advantage of my parents’ kindness and lives like a queen on their dime.
To make matters worse, my country is currently in a cost of living crisis. My parents are feeling the heat and have maxed out our credit cards just to try and keep up.
I’ve been going without meals, school supplies, etc. because money is very tight. I study full time and will need to rent a place to live after we sell our home. I don’t know how I’m going to manage.
Meanwhile, my Q relative doesn’t care about the dire situation she has placed us in. Before she moved herself in, I was able to live at home and focus on my studies. I could afford essentials without worrying. My parents were financially comfortable.
Since joining Q, my Q relative doesn’t care about who she hurts with her selfish behaviour. It’s all about what she wants. She’ll happily destroy another woman’s marriage without a second thought. She’ll freeload off my parents without any shame, to the point where they’re now struggling. She doesn’t feel remorse for the stressful situation she’s put me in either.
On a smaller scale, she also makes nasty, mean spirited comments that are unnecessary and hurtful. She’ll criticise people’s appearances to their faces, mock how they look in a bad photo, cut people down out of nowhere, dismiss and mock other people’s feelings… it’s really spiteful.
Has anyone else experienced this with a Q relative? The cruelty and selfishness my relative has demonstrated since joining the Qult is something I’ve been really shocked and devastated by. I’m curious to know whether this is a common experience.
submitted by JuniorCandidate1136 to QAnonCasualties [link] [comments]
She’s always had a selfish streak, but was overall a kind and loving person before joining the Qult.
I know that dramatic personality and behavioural changes are to be expected when someone finds their way into a cult, but I’ve been taken aback by how selfish, spiteful, inconsiderate and downright cruel my Q relative has become.
Since joining Q, she’s cheated on her husband, taken pride in ruining another woman’s marriage (her affair partner was married too), and mocked her affair partner’s wife when she attempted suicide (this was after the poor woman found out her husband had cheated with my Q relative).
After she suddenly divorced her husband a few years ago (they’d been married for 30 years, he has no idea that my Q relative cheated on him), my parents took her in, letting her live with them until she got back on her feet… well, that was the plan.
Two years later, she’s still living with them rent-free and has no intention of leaving anytime soon. She doesn’t contribute financially at all. She’s taken advantage of my parents’ kindness and lives like a queen on their dime.
To make matters worse, my country is currently in a cost of living crisis. My parents are feeling the heat and have maxed out our credit cards just to try and keep up.
I’ve been going without meals, school supplies, etc. because money is very tight. I study full time and will need to rent a place to live after we sell our home. I don’t know how I’m going to manage.
Meanwhile, my Q relative doesn’t care about the dire situation she has placed us in. Before she moved herself in, I was able to live at home and focus on my studies. I could afford essentials without worrying. My parents were financially comfortable.
Since joining Q, my Q relative doesn’t care about who she hurts with her selfish behaviour. It’s all about what she wants. She’ll happily destroy another woman’s marriage without a second thought. She’ll freeload off my parents without any shame, to the point where they’re now struggling. She doesn’t feel remorse for the stressful situation she’s put me in either.
On a smaller scale, she also makes nasty, mean spirited comments that are unnecessary and hurtful. She’ll criticise people’s appearances to their faces, mock how they look in a bad photo, cut people down out of nowhere, dismiss and mock other people’s feelings… it’s really spiteful.
Has anyone else experienced this with a Q relative? The cruelty and selfishness my relative has demonstrated since joining the Qult is something I’ve been really shocked and devastated by. I’m curious to know whether this is a common experience.
2024.05.14 12:49 Kaelyr_ looking for a recommendation!
I'm new to Pokémon rom hacks, but I've played PokeMMO. I was wondering what rom hack I should start playing... I've heard very good things about Radical Red and Unbound, but I'm open to other suggestions.
What I'm looking for in the game is: - ability to encounter as many gens as possible - greatly improved difficulty - pixelated graphics (gen 3-5 style) - extra content, so I don't just replay the story for the nth time. If it has challenges, minigames, missions or sidequests and possibly events, all the better! I'm looking for something immersive that you can really spend some time on. - in the same regard, it would be cool if it had features like the bug catching competition or the pokéathlon - breed, breeding and more breeding. I want to breed my favorite Mons to perfection, so it'd be nice if there are items that you can give mons to retain nature or IVs. I'm not sure if it was a feature of PokeMMO or if it's the same in any other game.
What many rom hacks offer but I don't need is: - legendary mons.
What I would rather NOT have is: - ability to change the nature on the fly, especially of for free. I understand that it makes breeding easier, but to me it feels like cheating. - ability to see EVs and IVs, as long as I can talk to some npc to check if they're perfect or not, and breed until then.
submitted by Kaelyr_ to PokemonROMhacks [link] [comments]
What I'm looking for in the game is: - ability to encounter as many gens as possible - greatly improved difficulty - pixelated graphics (gen 3-5 style) - extra content, so I don't just replay the story for the nth time. If it has challenges, minigames, missions or sidequests and possibly events, all the better! I'm looking for something immersive that you can really spend some time on. - in the same regard, it would be cool if it had features like the bug catching competition or the pokéathlon - breed, breeding and more breeding. I want to breed my favorite Mons to perfection, so it'd be nice if there are items that you can give mons to retain nature or IVs. I'm not sure if it was a feature of PokeMMO or if it's the same in any other game.
What many rom hacks offer but I don't need is: - legendary mons.
What I would rather NOT have is: - ability to change the nature on the fly, especially of for free. I understand that it makes breeding easier, but to me it feels like cheating. - ability to see EVs and IVs, as long as I can talk to some npc to check if they're perfect or not, and breed until then.
2024.05.14 12:45 Errora403 PUBG MOBILE VERSION 3.2 UPDATE ANNOUNCEMENT
 | Report bugs here and earn rewards: https://pubgmobile.live/supportPUBG MOBILE will begin pushing out the update on 5/13 at 2:00 (UTC+0). Service will not be interrupted. To ensure a quick and smooth update, please be in a good network environment and make sure you have enough available storage on your device. Update Reward: Update the game between 5/13–5/27 (UTC+0) to get 3,000 BP, 100 AG, and a Mecha Warship Theme (3d). Key Updates
New Themed Mode: Mecha FusionAvailable: 2024/5/13 at 2:00 (UTC+0)–2024/7/9 at 20:59 (UTC+0)Supported Maps: Erangel, Livik, and Miramar (Ranked and Unranked) https://preview.redd.it/6m82y04sfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0ce25f8079e2fabcfe43c9bb5b98fb3d648170e New Mecha Vehicles
Brand New Environments
New Items
New Legendary Pilot ChallengeGet themed items, special vehicle cosmetics, Armamech dance emotes, special Elimination Broadcasts, and more by completing this difficult themed mode challenge.World of WonderAvailable: Releases with the versionhttps://preview.redd.it/p1fd1vgtfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=e85c32e7ca039909f454cf08cf359f0df7137de5 World of Wonder Updates
New Gameplay Devices
Gameplay Device Improvements
New Interactive Objects
Interactive Object Improvements
Controls & Interaction
Game Parameters
Other Updates
Classic UpdatesLivik Map Updates
Erangel Map Updates
Home UpdatesThe Home System is permanently available, and will be updated each version with interesting gameplay and building cosmetics.Home CompetitionSubmission Period: 2024/5/13 at 00:00–2024/6/1 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Selection Period: 2024/6/1 at 9:00–2024/7/1 at 9:00 (UTC+0)
Home Events
Home Building Updates
Home Resource & Content Updates
Metro Royale UpdatesAvailable: 2024/5/15 at 1:00 (UTC+0)Matchmaking: 2024/5/15 at 2:00 (UTC+0)
Firearm & Vehicle Improvements
General Improvements
System Improvements
New Season: Cycle 6 Season 18Available: 2024/5/18 at 2:00 (UTC+0)–2024/7/15 at 23:59 (UTC+0)https://preview.redd.it/4125d8rwfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=a74a0f8340ef11eecf1c7d4c0e9f9104b22ad806
All-Talent Championship S19Available: 2024/5/20–2024/7/4 (UTC+0)
Popularity Gift EventsNew Redemption Shop
Popularity Battle EventRegistration Period: 2024/5/14 at 00:00–2024/5/19 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Battle Period: 2024/5/19 at 9:00–2024/6/18 at 9:00 (UTC+0)
Team Popularity Battle EventRegistration Period: 2024/6/17 at 00:00–2024/6/23 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Battle Period: 2024/6/23 at 9:00–2024/7/9 at 9:30 (UTC+0)
Security & Game Environment ImprovementsAccount Security
Security Strategy Improvements
|
2024.05.14 12:45 theashtraygirl27 I just need any advice on this sinking ship he's calling relationship.
Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
submitted by theashtraygirl27 to relationships [link] [comments]
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
2024.05.14 12:16 Ok_Equivalent_1425 Conclusion: One girl, multiple boyfriends
This is a continuation and the conclusion to the following posts:
Post 1
Post 2
Post 3
Context: I matched with a girl who was sending all her matches the very same messages (long paragraphs while calling them "sweets"). I felt something was fishy so I turned to reddit and made Post 2 which went viral. I got contacted by guys claiming to be in a relationship with her.
What was happening?
TLRD: one girl manipulating many guys.
---- Listen to one of her bf's words: ----
"She was telling half the dudes she loves them, some she was committed to them, some she was inviting over cough cough.
Using all of them for free Swiggy and games and gifts and shit that would be cool.
Because the Reddit post(post 2 and post 3) kind of is spreading around her friend circle right now and the defence now is that it was just texting and wasn't serious.
Couple of her exes reached out to me and told it was the same shit, they broke up because she was cheating.
Girl is ruining lives fr and that too across three cities Bangalore/Chennai/Jaipur"
---- Another one of her BF said: ----
I have officially broken up with her, she begged for half an hour for another chance and that too lies after lies.
bhai, thank you very much, tu Delhi ya Chennai aaye kabhi bataiyo, party karte hai. (He's very happy that I made the post and saved him from further shit show)
Conclusion:
All the boyfriends involved have broken up with her, atleast all that are aware of this activities.
To the girl, please seek professional help. What you did probably scarred many people and their hopes and created trust issues in them that will probably last forever. It is not right to play with people's lives and feelings for your own good. The past is the past, please do better, reach out to your loved ones for help.
I'll not be making any further post on this matter. Captian Doddle signing off y'all.
Linking some mental health helplines visit here
submitted by Ok_Equivalent_1425 to Indiangirlsontinder [link] [comments]
Post 1
Post 2
Post 3
Context: I matched with a girl who was sending all her matches the very same messages (long paragraphs while calling them "sweets"). I felt something was fishy so I turned to reddit and made Post 2 which went viral. I got contacted by guys claiming to be in a relationship with her.
What was happening?
TLRD: one girl manipulating many guys.
---- Listen to one of her bf's words: ----
"She was telling half the dudes she loves them, some she was committed to them, some she was inviting over cough cough.
Using all of them for free Swiggy and games and gifts and shit that would be cool.
Because the Reddit post(post 2 and post 3) kind of is spreading around her friend circle right now and the defence now is that it was just texting and wasn't serious.
Couple of her exes reached out to me and told it was the same shit, they broke up because she was cheating.
Girl is ruining lives fr and that too across three cities Bangalore/Chennai/Jaipur"
---- Another one of her BF said: ----
I have officially broken up with her, she begged for half an hour for another chance and that too lies after lies.
bhai, thank you very much, tu Delhi ya Chennai aaye kabhi bataiyo, party karte hai. (He's very happy that I made the post and saved him from further shit show)
Conclusion:
All the boyfriends involved have broken up with her, atleast all that are aware of this activities.
To the girl, please seek professional help. What you did probably scarred many people and their hopes and created trust issues in them that will probably last forever. It is not right to play with people's lives and feelings for your own good. The past is the past, please do better, reach out to your loved ones for help.
I'll not be making any further post on this matter. Captian Doddle signing off y'all.
Linking some mental health helplines visit here
2024.05.14 12:05 Bonegirl06 The Sad Fate of the Sports Parent
A true sports parent dies twice. There’s the death that awaits us all at the end of a long or short life, the result of illness, misadventure, fire, falling object, hydroplaning car, or derailing train. But there is also the death that comes in the midst of life, the purgatorial purposelessness that follows the final season on the sidelines or in the bleachers, when your sports kid hangs up their skates, cleats, or spikes after that last game.
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/
submitted by Bonegirl06 to atlanticdiscussions [link] [comments]
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/
2024.05.14 11:59 And_be_one_traveler Ever noticed how often r/AITA and all the similar subreddits love to blame feminism for things it doesn't advocate for?
For example, when they talk about how paternity works legally and the susposed acceptance of cheating
Legal Paternity
It's usually the case around the world that if a wife has a child during their marriage, the husband is legally assumed to be the father. Even if everyone involves knows he isn't, and all want to change this, they may still have to go to court.
This is somehow blamed on feminism. Never mind that depending on a guy who resents being a father for child support can be worse than just relying on welfare. And nevermind that all the women who fled their abusive husbands would love to not give him custody rights (because, many abusers see getting custody of their kids as a way to hurt their mother).
So why did it come from?
Firstly, law codes were mostly developed before paternity tests were a thing. This is just a guess, but at least in the West, where it was usually men who controlled the couple's money, lawmakers likely didn't want their sisters and daughters left destitute by false claims of infidelity.
And at least partially it comes from the fact that the state doesn't want to pay benefits it can get a way with. Which also explains why almost no politicians will advocate against the assumption of paternity for the husband. Just paying for a few weeks of welfare until paternity tests came back for every man, and then hoping the men will all pay the state back, would increase the cost of the social welfare budget for little, if any, community gain. And social welfare is often a large part of a state's budget.
And of course, modern DNA tests have their own problems, like the ethics around the use of DNA given for other purposes to catch criminals. And who would pay for them, and some others.
Cheating
Literally no popular feminist work advocates this. You could argue works like the Scarlet Letter are trying to cast sympathy on women seen as cheaters, but even those are asking why women are being punished much more harshly than men. And if cheating should be a purely social wrong, rather than a legal one. Some thing goes for the Handmaid's Tale, particularly the series rather than the novel, where June is the other woman, rather than dating an already divorced man as she does in the novel.
You'll see cheating accepted in some film and TV shows, but I don't think feminist films are more guilty of this than any other genre. Those that do usually protray the women as a victim of abuse by her spouse, however Hollywood does like to sometimes show affairs as romantic simply because the other partner is kind of annoying and the main couple belong together. However, these nearly always have a man willingly a part of the affair. Hollywood is very happy to show men cheating too and protray it as a good or kinda bad thing when it wants too (eg. Oppenheimer).
Thinking about the major feminists I've heard of, I think their responses to having constant affairs would vary.
submitted by And_be_one_traveler to AmITheAngel [link] [comments]
Legal Paternity
It's usually the case around the world that if a wife has a child during their marriage, the husband is legally assumed to be the father. Even if everyone involves knows he isn't, and all want to change this, they may still have to go to court.
This is somehow blamed on feminism. Never mind that depending on a guy who resents being a father for child support can be worse than just relying on welfare. And nevermind that all the women who fled their abusive husbands would love to not give him custody rights (because, many abusers see getting custody of their kids as a way to hurt their mother).
So why did it come from?
Firstly, law codes were mostly developed before paternity tests were a thing. This is just a guess, but at least in the West, where it was usually men who controlled the couple's money, lawmakers likely didn't want their sisters and daughters left destitute by false claims of infidelity.
And at least partially it comes from the fact that the state doesn't want to pay benefits it can get a way with. Which also explains why almost no politicians will advocate against the assumption of paternity for the husband. Just paying for a few weeks of welfare until paternity tests came back for every man, and then hoping the men will all pay the state back, would increase the cost of the social welfare budget for little, if any, community gain. And social welfare is often a large part of a state's budget.
And of course, modern DNA tests have their own problems, like the ethics around the use of DNA given for other purposes to catch criminals. And who would pay for them, and some others.
Cheating
Literally no popular feminist work advocates this. You could argue works like the Scarlet Letter are trying to cast sympathy on women seen as cheaters, but even those are asking why women are being punished much more harshly than men. And if cheating should be a purely social wrong, rather than a legal one. Some thing goes for the Handmaid's Tale, particularly the series rather than the novel, where June is the other woman, rather than dating an already divorced man as she does in the novel.
You'll see cheating accepted in some film and TV shows, but I don't think feminist films are more guilty of this than any other genre. Those that do usually protray the women as a victim of abuse by her spouse, however Hollywood does like to sometimes show affairs as romantic simply because the other partner is kind of annoying and the main couple belong together. However, these nearly always have a man willingly a part of the affair. Hollywood is very happy to show men cheating too and protray it as a good or kinda bad thing when it wants too (eg. Oppenheimer).
Thinking about the major feminists I've heard of, I think their responses to having constant affairs would vary.
- Most common would be the third/fourth wave monogamous feminists who would say all marriages should be equal and affairs are bad, regardless of gender
- You also have the "free love"/polyamorous crowd who insist on honesty, not cheating
- In the past, there was the 60-70s Lesbian separtists who wouldn't understand why you'd want to sleep with more men anyway
- And early suffragists who often argued that women were different to men in that they were more caring and nurturing, so they probably wouldn't have approved cheating.
2024.05.14 11:35 nippost I think my mom is white trash
- Note * Not sure if this is the best subreddit for this question. Feel free to suggest others. Also I’m aware how harsh this may sound but I think it’s important to be clear when asking for advice.
In fewer words, I think my mom is white trash.
This frustrates me because I never used to perceive her this way. But I had been apart from her for 10 years and in those 10 years I continued to change and grow and she also had her own life events that I’m sure impacted her personality. But I just can’t tell if she was always like this and I was too naive or ignorant to notice, or if she is just getting older. Keep in mind, she is only 53. I wouldn’t say that is an age where I would start to expect mental decline like this, if that is the case.
She is sort of living with us at the moment, and it has been taxing on my family. We feel like we don’t have any privacy anymore. She makes us uncomfortable a lot with her social obliviousness (staring, invading personal space, etc) and we sometimes find her stupidity to be frustrating. It often feels like “You should know this stuff. Why wouldn’t you know this?”. Such things include; knowing how to properly clean your dishes or your laundry. We are currently at a point where we need to think of her and treat her like someone with special needs. Because in a lot of ways, she is.
She might officially be moving in with us soon and I are kind of dreading it, but she kind of has nowhere else to go. I feel so cheated out of life, having to take care of her at the relatively young age of 53, when I’m just trying to get my life started. We rent, we have a daughter, soon to be a second child, and now bringing my mom in almost feels like we are getting a 3rd child.
Am I crazy, or is 53 really young to be moving in with your (adult) kids. She should be more self sufficient by this point in her life, right? I fear I am about to be cheated out of some really important years where it’s just my family, alone, building memories together. I was always prepared to have her live with us at some point, but this early just feels wrong.
I probably am, but I gotta ask…Am I an asshole here? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this change of perception of my mom, and how to accept who she is now.
TLDR: I think my mom is white trash and I’m struggling to cope with that.
2024.05.14 10:48 astrobabag Tulsi Ke Patte Se Vashikaran
 | The tulsi, which is also known as holy basil, is considered a holy plant in Hinduism. It has been applied in religious ceremonies and Ayurveda for thousands of years. In the recent times, some people have been pushing the idea of utilizing tulsi for vashikaran, which is the term for controlling or influencing someone's mind. Nevertheless, this way of handling the situation is accompanied by ethical problems. submitted by astrobabag to u/astrobabag [link] [comments] Tulsi Se Vashikaran The Concept of Vashikaran The word Vashikaran is derived from Sanskrit words "vasi" meaning control or influence, and "karan" meaning to do. Thus, vashikaran is the term that signifies the ability to control another person using supernatural powers or mystical techniques. The idea has its origins in Hindu astrology and Tantra and it is regarded as a ritual to control people’s minds and thus, it is possible to influence their behaviors. Usually, the vashikaran rituals are the ones that have the use of the mantras, spells, herbs, and other items that are considered to be of the mystical powers. Advocates of vashikaran think that these ceremonies can make people fall in love, improve relationships or get someone's approval and loyalty. Nevertheless, most people think these claims are superstitious with no scientific data to back them up. Tulsi se Vashikaran The astrologers of the recent times have been spreading the idea that the tulsi plant can be used to vashikaran or mind control. They enforce the practice of particular rituals with tulsi leaves or roots to manipulate people's minds. For example: The tulsi leaves are placed under the pillow so that the thoughts of a person are dominated by that person. Hitting a mantra on tulsi leaves and putting them where the person you want to attract walks every day are just some of the methods to deal with the situation. Infusing food items with tulsi roots is a method of mixing tulsi roots with them. Making a potion with tulsi leaves and asking the person you want to drink it from to do so is a powerful way to get into their mind. Threats Of Benefits Of Tulsi Vashikaran Claims The proponents of tulsi vashikaran make big claims about its benefits, such as: Tulsi se vashikaran mantra will make someone to fall desperately in love with you and will give you all his/her attention. It can modify people’s views, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes in your favor. It can assist a woman to catch her boyfriend or a man to get a girlfriend. Businessmen can employ tulsi vashikaran to achieve success and to gain the confidence of their clients/investors. It is the foundation of trustful relationships and the reason behind the happy marriages. It can appear like it is solving all the relationship issues. Nevertheless, up to now there is no scientific proof that could back up these claims. Besides, ethical and legal issues are there about controlling or manipulating someone's mind without his/her permission. Ethical Dilemmas in Tulsi Vashikaran is a subject that revolves around the moral issues related to the practice of Tulsi Vashikaran. Despite tulsi being regarded as a medicine with health benefits in Ayurveda, its use for vashikaran or mind control is a topic of debate. Ethical and legal issues around it include:Ethical and legal issues around it include:
Although tulsi as a medicinal herb has a lot of health benefits, using it for vashikaran or the mind control is the controversial practice of which there is no scientific basis and a lot of serious ethical concerns about the violation of consent and the manipulation of free will. Legal consultants are of the opinion that no amount of mind control rituals can make the participants disobey existing stalking and harassment laws that prohibit the unconsented surveillance, contact or spying. Therefore, people need to assess risks and ethical issues related to magical remedies rationally before they get attracted by the big promises of such magical remedies. Online Free Consultation With Baba Ji Please Visit: https://www.astrobabag.com/ tulsisevashikaran #vashikaran #tulsilove #loveandmagic #poweroftulsi #herbalhealing #tulsimagic #vashikaranmantra #tulsipower #loveandtulsi #keepitnatural #ancientwisdom #manifestinglove #spiritualjourney #blessingsofnature #herbalremedies #vashikaranspellsDOMNodeTestingModule #tulsiteasecrets #attractionmagic #spiritualconnection |
2024.05.14 10:29 om11011shanti11011om Appreciation for my love, who made our happiness a priority
This weekend was my daughter's 13th birthday and Mother's Day weekend. My love did everything he could to make sure we had a wonderful time!
He volunteered to spend the whole weekend with my (high maintenance) dog, and also bought really thoughtful gifts for the occasion (for my daughter, for me and even for the dog!)
He is not my child's biological father, nor a "substitute father" as her father is in her life... but he has taken the role of being another important, caring person without imposing too much authority. She sees him as a really kind, fun guy who takes good care of her mom.
When put in a similar role, an ex cheated on me. I asked him to babysit so I could do some volunteer work. His reasoning was that I had boxed him into a role he never asked for, and in cheating with a mutual friend, was "breaking free"from that. That sort of betrayal cuts deep in two ways: 1) It leads you to believe that asking for help is something the backfires and 2) it weighs on your ability to trust it when someone does something selfless and kind for your happiness.
That said, the fact that I am now with someone who is capable of putting my happiness before his own on special occasions is so healing, freeing and feels so damn good. I keep telling him how grateful and appreciative I am.
I want to do something equally as lovely for him, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share them!
submitted by om11011shanti11011om to love [link] [comments]
He volunteered to spend the whole weekend with my (high maintenance) dog, and also bought really thoughtful gifts for the occasion (for my daughter, for me and even for the dog!)
He is not my child's biological father, nor a "substitute father" as her father is in her life... but he has taken the role of being another important, caring person without imposing too much authority. She sees him as a really kind, fun guy who takes good care of her mom.
When put in a similar role, an ex cheated on me. I asked him to babysit so I could do some volunteer work. His reasoning was that I had boxed him into a role he never asked for, and in cheating with a mutual friend, was "breaking free"from that. That sort of betrayal cuts deep in two ways: 1) It leads you to believe that asking for help is something the backfires and 2) it weighs on your ability to trust it when someone does something selfless and kind for your happiness.
That said, the fact that I am now with someone who is capable of putting my happiness before his own on special occasions is so healing, freeing and feels so damn good. I keep telling him how grateful and appreciative I am.
I want to do something equally as lovely for him, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share them!
2024.05.14 10:24 Kringlecat Free bloxburg discrimination
Does anyone else not understand not liking people who play bloxburg for free? Like, firstly, there's no reason to not like them for that? Not their fault if they couldn't afford beta, not their fault it's free now. Secondly, we payed to play it in its BETA stage, hence Bloxburg [beta]. You had to pay because the game was incomplete, and it's it's testing stage. Thirdly, I've seen people who payed 25 robux complaining, imagine if someone who payed fifty didn't want you in the game because "you didn't pay what I had to pay".
Personally, I had to pay 50 robux, understood what that meant, that I was playing during beta testing, and that it would some day be free. So quite frankly I don't get being rude to people playing now it's free. Others thoughts?
submitted by Kringlecat to Bloxburg [link] [comments]
Personally, I had to pay 50 robux, understood what that meant, that I was playing during beta testing, and that it would some day be free. So quite frankly I don't get being rude to people playing now it's free. Others thoughts?
2024.05.14 09:34 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to Talesofzippy [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 09:29 Pimasterjimmy Tales of Zippy and Friends: Katniss the keeper of pens. (Boomer tries to get me fired for Handing her a sticker)(tw: suicide)
My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
submitted by Pimasterjimmy to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, do crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.
2024.05.14 08:00 SunstriderAlar Helena - Courtlady of Lannisport
Helena - Courtlady of Lannisport
Part 1
Reddit Account: SunstriderAlarDiscord Tag: u/SunstriderAlar
Name and House: Helena
Age: 22
Cultural Group: Westerman
Appearance: Helena is a young woman with soft doe-eyes, and unmistakable curling, golden hair. Raised by smallfolk, and Septa’s she wears her hair up and away from her face to ensure she does not let it get wet while cleaning or in her mouth while singing. She has delicate, porcelain, pale skin and cloudy soft blue eyes. No taller than 5’5” and is most often dressed in conservative simple fashions gathered by herself, or more elegant options gifted to her by a doting patron for formal events. Never shy to present her opinion, Helena has seen the world change, and her place in it numerous times. She is unafraid to do what she must, but knows the role of a woman.
Helena prefers to wear blue and yellow, the colours of Lord Swyft’s old sigil even though she has not lived in Cornfield for many years, and has no personal attachment to the house. Her real love though is unique broaches, and hairpins, different pins reveal different favours or stylings for different lords. She does enjoy crafting dresses as well, when the rare bolt of fabric comes her way she enjoys sewing and tailoring. She is often seen carrying a unique wooden six stringed lyre, or a three stringed lute; the former the cause for her name the Six Eyed Singer. She daps herself with lavender water most mornings, and cleans her teeth with mint, and rose now that she is employed by the Lannisters of Lannisport. Clean teeth are the hallmark of a charming, easy smile to make hearts of men and women alike flutter.
Trait: Elusive Shadow
Skill(s): Espionage, Devious, Schemer, Covert, Rumourmonger
Talent(s): Storyteller, lyre playing, deft fingers
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): The Six-Eyed Singer, Septa Morgan, Jinny of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening event
Part 2: Biography
Swyft Sept (3AC - 15AC)Helena’s early life began in the Sept of Cornfield where her mother begged the Septa’s to take her. Dutifully, though reluctantly, they agreed, for what else were they to do, and where else was the girl to go. To the Governess of Cornfield, under the sanctity of the confessional, the woman, aching from the pain of birth and shame, confessed that the little girl was the bastard of Lord Swyft. The Governess, doubtful but knowing the man was not without vice, kept the secret to herself and allowed the girl to remain. The woman, who’s name was never revealed even to the Septa's, fled into the night shortly after never to be seen again. Helena was then, as promised, raised by the septas and the Governess of House Swyft. She learns basic literacy from the Seven Pointed Star with the Sisters and numbers from the Governess. Alongside her studies, she was put to work on chores like maid work, baking, cooking, cleaning, and serving Lord Swyft.
In 11AC, a travelling minstrel named The Lying Lyre arrived at Cornfield. A dashing young man with a shock of blonde curls that tumbled down his back like a mullet captivated Helena with his songs of far-off lands and noble families. In particular he sang of the Maiden’s Bay Tourney, the feats of House Targaryen, and after some time the Field of Fire and the failings of House Lannister. House Swyft was wealthy, and the Liar’s talents earned him much and more coin from the silver mines.
Helena of an age where curiosity ruled a child’s mind was enamoured with the man and his songs. She took up practising the lyre with him, and discovered that while no maestro, she had deft fingers and a mind for lyrics. Impressed by her interest and talent, the Liar gifted her a lyre before he left for future profits in far off lands. Some years of practice though, and a natural storyteller and rumourmonger Helena combined tales of the Seven Pointed Star and was invited to sing in the sept and even twice for Lord Swyft.
Six Eyed Singer (15AC - 20AC)
It was not to last though and following the slaughter in the Kingswood, the line of House Swyft was extinguished. Not wanting to test the new residents of Cornfield, the Warriors Sons and Poor Fellows, after all, all men have vice, she left Cornfield, and took to singing on the road. Going under the name Lyrebird, Helena played and sang for her coin and lodgings, a young girl protected only by being seen when she wanted and an elusive shadow when she did not.
Times on the road were not easy and The Lyrebird drew much attention. This necessitated the need for another alter ego and after a year on the road and towns and villages through the West were soon visited by the travelling Septa Morgan. The Septa heard confessions and sins, gave forgiveness and offered small advice to the poor and needy. She spared coins where she could and allowed Helena to remain covert. It did not matter to most that she was no real septa, she wore the robes, knew the words, and offered as a good moral compass to children. For most in the far flung reaches of the West she was enough.
Being raised in the faith though telling a perpetual lie about being a sister of the cloth was a little too much to bear for Helena. After a year with the reputation of Septa Morgan growing through the small folks of small villages, the Septa soon faded away. Instead Jinny of Aegon’s Rest started coming to smaller castles; Turnbury, Redbramble, Parren Hall, Oldstars and the like. She took on odd jobs cleaning, cooking, teaching a daughter to read or a son to do his numbers. She was after all no threat, knew her letters and numbers herself, and was capable of scheming many a septa or fatherly gatesman to let her in.
Jinny of Aegon’s Rest became a traveller through the keeps of the Westerlands. She heard the tales from children and small folk alike. She had never meant to undertake espionage, but her place inside various courts across the land, and her talent for being in the right place at the right time meant she was an unfortunate witness to many a courtly intrigue. As her small gifts earned her again a broad reputation she would be traded between greater lords. Soon she was playing for the elite, and earning the rewards that came with it. Helena of Cornfield once again took a new name, the Six Eyed Singer, which she quickly used to escape her courtly life and take again to the road as a travelling minstrel.
The Strawberry Tourney and Ball (20AC - Current)
The Six Eyed Singer formed a little bard troupe, nothing extravagant, she wasn’t playing for the Lannisters or the Targaryen’s yet, but enough to provide several shows across the Westerlands, Reach, and former Kingdom of the Trident. Her troupe, much like she had been accidentally, was devious, and while she or they sang, pockets were pinched, and many houses were looted. Her troupe when apart played for all the minor and middle nobles of the Trident and of the Reach too now. She and they were as much a part of the debauchery of the West as any of the wealthy merchants. There was no party too scandalous, no whorehouse unsung, no court too far flung for the right price and the West had gold burning through pockets.
The Six Eyed Singer was not the only bard with a troupe though and soon through the Kingdoms after Aegon’s conquest artisans, bards, and mummers alike filled the world with talent. In 20AC the Songbird made its mark, and with a little bit of fun, a lot of resentment for nobility, and an ingrained childlike sense of chaos, the first of the Songbirds’ letters sang. The voice of the little people flooded across the western coast of the Iron Throne. Lord Belaerys’ dragon had eaten several children whilst growing fat and hungry. Lancel Lannister had claimed the maidenhood of his chambermaid, and sired a bastard all at the age of just fifteen. Lord Frey schemed against his overlord for a free and independent Trident once again. Was all of it true? Impossible to say, but there were enough truths to turn heads, and the songs of the Songbird began to cause chaos in the Westerlands most of all. The Six Eyed Singer and her troupe played through it all, they were bards, but the Songbird was the most famous one of all; not their little merry band.
The Six Eyed Singer though continued her good work, and with her reputation came an invite to participate at the Strawberry Tourney and Ball alongside the other bardic troupes of the West and Reach. She was not so famous as to be alone, merely enough to earn an invite, and a paid job. The planning was years long, and with new songs and tunes came new rumours. While the Six-Eyed Singer played songs such as Fleece-eye, Dornish Sour Grapes, and Lion of the West, the Songbird worked their chaos.
A ripple pulsed through the tourney, first a cheater in the joust was revealed, Ser Byron who was disqualified as a result. Then a second cheater, this time in the melee, then a third cheater again in the joust Lord Payne had accepted a bribe from Lord Reyne to fall early. Cheating in the tourney was just the start, cheating in the bedroom of the ball was the main affair. Here the Songbird revealed three affairs; Lords Serret and Lyden were both fathers to children on women , not their wives. While Lady Serret and Lady Ruskin were bedfriends behind their husbands’ backs. There was one final scandal though, which was revealed to all at the tourney. Septon Karron was no true anointed Septon, and worse there was legitimacy to foulness surrounding young boys who served him.
The chaos broke over the tourney and all the artisans in attendance were forced to flee. Yet, all was not lost, for Lord Gerold Lannister of Lannisport had taken his eye to Helena and her playing. He offered her a job, for he wished to be a great sponsor of art in the new Seven Kingdoms. So it was she came to a courtly position, advising the Lord Lannister on matters of fine art, musicians, mummery, and all manner of artisanal dealings.
Timeline
3AC - Helena is born in the Sept of Cornfield, her mother a woman from Silverhill who begs the septa’s to take the girl in. She reveals her identity to the Governess of House Swyft, and claims the child is Lord Swyft’s bastard. She leaves shortly after giving birth and recovering.
4-10AC - She is raised in the cloister with the sisters, her Septa mothers raising her lessons on reading from the Seven Pointed Star, and numbers from the Governess to ensure that she can do basic arithmetic. She takes basic lessons in scullery maid work, baking, and general service work for old Lord Swyft.
11AC - A travelling minstrel, The Lying Lyre, comes through Cornfield to sing songs of the tourney of Maiden’s Bay, House Targaryen, and the Field of Fire. He takes a liking to the young Helena, and gifts her a lyre. He stays in Cornfield for some time, both because it is lucrative and because he enjoys teaching the young girl.
12-14AC - The Lying Lyre departs Cornfield but leaves a talented and hardworking Helena with the sisters once more. She takes to singing sections of the Seven Pointed Star, and even performs for Lord Swyft a few times.
15AC - The House of Swyft dies out and Helena, unaware of her claimed parentage but with a talent for song leaves the cloister and takes to the road, not trusting the new Warriors Sons or Poor Fellows. She uses the name Lyrebird and sings and plays her lyre for coin to survive.
16AC - After a year on the road Helena takes up the name Septa Morgan and takes to hearing confessions of the poor and needy across the Westerlands. Many of them need guidance and wearing her septa robes she is the perfect person to hear them. She is no real Septa but no amount of explaining the technicality of that stops people asking her to forgive them.
17AC - Her reputation as Septa Morgan grows a little too heavy on her shoulders, and Helena takes to wearing more common clothes, moving from keep to keep and working as a barmaid, scullery girl, and baker amongst other professions. She goes by the name Jinny of Aegon’s Rest.
18AC - Chance takes its favour on her, and Helena with her simple lyre is invited to play at a feast in Lannisport. Dressed now as a travelling minstrel she performs for the gathered nobles and earns herself invitations to other keeps. With her generous benefactors she hires a small troupe to perform her songs across the West.
19AC - Travelling the Westerlands, Helena under the moniker The Six Eyed Singer, takes her talents for being present at feasts and gatherings of all sorts.
20AC - Rumour of The Songbird takes hold, and the West is awash in the voice of the little people.
21AC - The Strawberry Tourney and Ball unfolds and Helena’s skills earn her favour with Lord Gerold Lannister.
22AC - Lord Gerold Lannister recognising her many talents picked her up to be one of the primary serving women in his House. His eye for artistic endeavours endeared him to her enough for a comfortable place as a favoured bard, painter, educator, and common court woman.
2024.05.14 06:34 PunkyTay My (28F) husband (28M) goes in for surgery in 2 days for stage IV colon cancer
I’m terrified. On thanksgiving he got diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at the age of 27 with innumerable liver metastasis. He was hospitalized for 11 days, it was the worst 11 days of our lives. The initial oncologists didn’t give much in the way of hope, but he quickly responded wonderfully to chemo.
I got him a consult with one of the best, if not the best, liver cancer surgeons in the world. He said this can still be cured, it just depends on how aggressive we want to be.
He’s been off chemo for three and a half weeks and the whole thing is just terrifying. I’ve personally have had over 10 surgeries for my own medical problems and I’ve never felt like this. I truly love my husband more than myself or anyone in this world. I would do anything for him, I wish I could take this all from him. He doesn’t deserve any of this, no one ever does.
He just had his MRI today and lab works. Hoping that the liver grew from the portal vein embolization they did and that there’s no new cancer. I’m a wreck. I’ve been hopeful as surgery is the most curative measure, but I haven’t been thinking about it. But now that we’re down at the hospital and starting to prep I’m beginning to feel all the emotions I’ve pushed down. It’s just so much.
This is my nightmare. I watched my uncle die from pancreatic cancer in 2013. My second mom (mom’s best friend and also my best friend’s mom) also lost her 16 year battle against a rare and aggressive thyroid cancer in 2021 - she outlived her cancer 3 times, thank god for clinical trials. And my sister also battled chondrosarcoma over 10 years ago, she’s been in remission. I can’t wrap my head around the statistics of my partner also getting cancer, I thought we’d be free of it after the long suffering of those close to me. What were the odds, at such a young age and barely two years into our relationship.
When I met my husband, I had this feeling something was off with his health, but he had zero obvious symptoms. He’d been sick well before I met him but we just had no idea. A couple of months into our relationship I had this awful nightmare that he got diagnosed with stage IV cancer, we got married, and he passed. I woke up sobbing but grateful it was only a nightmare. I hate that this has become our lives but I’m so grateful everyday that I have him. I can’t do any of this without him. I can’t.
I hate cancer, I hate what it does to people. How soul crushing it can be. He’s a fighter, but they all were. We’re very optimistic about this treatment, I’m positive, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of the unknown.
My husband saved my life. He came at a time when I was struggling to find myself again. My second mom had just passed, I bought my house, and got out of an unhappy relationship with my cheating, useless ex. I met him and suddenly everything made sense. It just feels like we’re living some sick cruel joke.
I just love him so much, I want him to be okay. I needed to get this all out.
Also a couple of things, 1) I will not be answering anything about his symptoms or colon cancer symptoms - if you have symptoms of a change in your bowel habits go to your doctor and push for a colonoscopy, colon cancer does not discriminate by age today. 2) I am in counseling and on a leave of absence from work for my own mental health, I’m trying to do things for me.
submitted by PunkyTay to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I got him a consult with one of the best, if not the best, liver cancer surgeons in the world. He said this can still be cured, it just depends on how aggressive we want to be.
He’s been off chemo for three and a half weeks and the whole thing is just terrifying. I’ve personally have had over 10 surgeries for my own medical problems and I’ve never felt like this. I truly love my husband more than myself or anyone in this world. I would do anything for him, I wish I could take this all from him. He doesn’t deserve any of this, no one ever does.
He just had his MRI today and lab works. Hoping that the liver grew from the portal vein embolization they did and that there’s no new cancer. I’m a wreck. I’ve been hopeful as surgery is the most curative measure, but I haven’t been thinking about it. But now that we’re down at the hospital and starting to prep I’m beginning to feel all the emotions I’ve pushed down. It’s just so much.
This is my nightmare. I watched my uncle die from pancreatic cancer in 2013. My second mom (mom’s best friend and also my best friend’s mom) also lost her 16 year battle against a rare and aggressive thyroid cancer in 2021 - she outlived her cancer 3 times, thank god for clinical trials. And my sister also battled chondrosarcoma over 10 years ago, she’s been in remission. I can’t wrap my head around the statistics of my partner also getting cancer, I thought we’d be free of it after the long suffering of those close to me. What were the odds, at such a young age and barely two years into our relationship.
When I met my husband, I had this feeling something was off with his health, but he had zero obvious symptoms. He’d been sick well before I met him but we just had no idea. A couple of months into our relationship I had this awful nightmare that he got diagnosed with stage IV cancer, we got married, and he passed. I woke up sobbing but grateful it was only a nightmare. I hate that this has become our lives but I’m so grateful everyday that I have him. I can’t do any of this without him. I can’t.
I hate cancer, I hate what it does to people. How soul crushing it can be. He’s a fighter, but they all were. We’re very optimistic about this treatment, I’m positive, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of the unknown.
My husband saved my life. He came at a time when I was struggling to find myself again. My second mom had just passed, I bought my house, and got out of an unhappy relationship with my cheating, useless ex. I met him and suddenly everything made sense. It just feels like we’re living some sick cruel joke.
I just love him so much, I want him to be okay. I needed to get this all out.
Also a couple of things, 1) I will not be answering anything about his symptoms or colon cancer symptoms - if you have symptoms of a change in your bowel habits go to your doctor and push for a colonoscopy, colon cancer does not discriminate by age today. 2) I am in counseling and on a leave of absence from work for my own mental health, I’m trying to do things for me.