Dip causing a white spot on my gum what is it

My dog, Sweet Pea, is a 15 year old pit bull terrier. Until earlier this year, she showed zero signs of slowing down.
She yelped one day while doing a bit of play in the bed. (March 11th) After which she acted as if her leg was a little tender, but nothing terribly concerning. She's geriatric after all.
After a week of no improvement, we did a telehealth vet visit, and were told she most likely had arthritis. Suggestions of glucosamine supplements and fish oil were given, which was followed.
Still, there was no improvement. April comes and her thigh muscle becomes tense, her leg is up against her body. She is NOT holding it up. It requires force to move down.
A in person visit is completed, no x-rays done at time. She is diagnosed with an ACL tear, but I disagree because she passes the cruciate failure test. White willow anti inflamatories are given. Shows small improvement for a few days, then returns to the same.
May 10th. Comes out of crate after sleeping with severely swollen leg (50% larger than other leg). We are in a rural area and call to go to a better vet. First appoinment possible is June 7th.
June 3rd. Wakes up with SEVERE swelling in leg. Triple the size of the other leg. Leg is now straight down. Bears weight on leg, mobility severely affected. NO pain. Eating and drinking, playing, not lethargic, not dehydrated, no fever.
June 7th. Vet visit. Tentative diagnosis of osteosarcoma, pending x-rays on June 28th. Given carpofen for swelling, gabapentin as needed if pain. Kidneys and liver tested with good function.
Gabapentin has not been given. She's not in pain. I know a lot of vet owners won't see the signs of it. But truly she is not in pain. Willing to run on leg. Happy. Sleeps well. No panting. You can manuever the leg, squeeze the leg, palpate the leg and she'll sleep through it if asleep.
Carpofen given 5 times. And the mass is now no longer AS hard. It seems to be breaking up in spots, which (correct me if wrong) osteosarcoma wouldn't do.
But what else could it be? Could it respond this way if osteosarcoma. Please please help.
Images and videos of progression included in imgur link.
https://imgur.com/a/m7zmoD7

The Winds of Winter
Prologue
A storm was coming, but that was not part of the plan.
To the east, dark grey clouds and flashes of lightning were seen afar while thunder could be heard mumbling its rage in the distance. Here where they stood, fierce sea-chilled winds blew from the clear skies of the west. Two weather fronts were on course for a collision, and caught in between was a giant rock that mountains above the shoreline, a hard place. The old natural stonewalls of Casterly Rock were half bathed in gold from the even-falling sun, while the other hid in the shadow of the approaching storm. And soon enough, everything will be clouded in black.
The sound of the strong waves smacking into the face of the stony cliffs can be felt from a mile away, as it was no different from the ones crashing into the wooden hull of their galley. Above their rocking swanship, three tall wooden masts sported simple dark black sails, filled with winds from the west, speeding their eastern course towards the home of House Lannister, ready to hug the coastline tight, fast and dangerous.
The Summer Isle captain at the helm shouted his accented announcement, “Awww shittt! Everyone get yo shields and weapons ready. It’s about to go down! Adventurers and avengers, assemble up to the deck of Motherfunker. Be sharp and stay on yo toes! We’re running this so let’s go!”
“With me to the boats!” the legendary stern knight Ser Brynden Tully called out as his fighting men rallied at the starboard rear of their ship, emerging from the cabins below.
“We all chose to be here. If any man wants to back down now, then do so quickly. I would not die in that man’s company. We elected to do this task for honor and for justice. Some of us are here for vengeance and we may even chance to kill some of them. If so, you may enjoy your short moment of pleasure. But what I offer here is the IMMORTALITY of the songs and tales. And when it is all said & done as we return safely home, the singers will sing of this glorious day, our honorable deed, and their shame of a jape. And they will sing it from this day to the ending of the world, and we in it shall be remembered! We few, we brave few, we band of brothers. For he who shed blood with me today shall be my brother forever in song!”
A roar of cheer exploded in the air, loud and thunderous. As the ruckus died down, Lady Mormont proclaimed, “And a sister too!”
“Aye Maege,” said the Blackfish. “But we have always considered you as one of our brothers. Between your legs, your sacs are larger than most men, especially all the Lannister soldiers.”
“Well that is easy to say, all those Lannisters are a bunch of golden eunuchs!” Lady Mormont declared unlady like.
Laughter swept the deck.
The Summer Isle captain above shouted again and prayed, “Today is The Day, and the moment is upon us my friends. Thirty seconds until the drop zone lads! May the gods be with yo!”
On the starboard stern, three small rowboats hung out from the hull, hovering above the rough waves. Attached over the swanship’s parapet was a roped ladder, allowing the fighters to lower themselves down onto their watercrafts. Each one was designed to hold four pairs of oarsmen abreast, and a single coxswain to steer at the rear.
They were twenty good men and Maege. Each one scaled in black boiled leather armor, with a quiver of arrows slung on one back shoulder, and a Summer Isle goldenheart bow on the other. Most fighters had their own selection of close quarter combat weapons that sat on their belts while a round black-painted wooden shield rested at the center of their backs. They wore no sigils and smeared mud spots on their faces to mimic dark ghostly shadows for this stealthy task. They were lightly armored and had fewer weapons, as their goal required speed. If all goes to plan, they would not need any of them. They could accomplish this mission without a soul lost on either side. But this approaching storm was not part of the plan.
The Blackfish made one last heroic call on the deck of the Motherfunker, before he lowered himself on the ladder, “Come with me and take this song!”
Rico added to the cry, “Come on brothers! Do you want to live forever!?!”
They roared proudly again and began their descent as the Summer Isle crewmen assisted the Westerosi to the ropes, sharing firm ebony and ivory handshakes as they told them they will be back.
Ser Brynden Tully reached the rear rowboat LionsJape along with June, Jory, Jess, Fess, Ben and Benjen. Though it was the end boat, it will be the first to fly.
Aboard the middle boat WinterStorm was Lady Maege Mormont, and the other six oarsmen Phyl, Rico, Sam the Shredder, Ser Barnabus the Goose, Scrooge, and Queen Jeyne’s brother Ser Raynald Westerling.
Lord Galbart Glover commandeered the third boat BattleWolf, which hung closer to the center of the swanship. On it were the younger men Donal, Mikkal, Raff, Leo, and Alesander, all merely teenagers.
As he watched from above, Ser Olyvar Frey thought they were little dark turtles crawling down the ladders with their black shields slung on their backs. As the last turtle, Olyvar hugged & kissed his sister Roslin, and then their brother Perwyn. Ser Perwyn Frey was Lady Tully’s sworn shield, charged with her life’s protection, and her unborn child’s too. Though they were all Frey as family, Rosby blood thorns in their veins as well. We were all just sweet Roses By another name, a horrible name.
Olyvar descended. Alesander Frey was waiting for him adjacent to an empty seat on the boat. He was Olyvar’s nephew, but because they were of a similar age, Alesander felt more like a cousin to him, a cousin that felt more like a brother. He wondered what their mothers would have thought if they saw them there now. As Olyvar sat, he stretched his arms wide at the starboard-bow of BattleWolf and the brothers both grabbed an oar each. Alesander sang and japed, “Are you ready to fly this boat to the moon somehow?”
“Nothing is impossible!” Olyvar smiled.
Ser Olyvar Frey never thought he would be on this boat, absorbing the wrath of the big blue watery roads, rocking BattleWolf as it clung to Motherfunker. But his new knightly confidence was so high he could roar at the Drowned God to look at him and tell him to piss off. But he knew better and kept his silence. With his Frey luck, he believed his corpse would be bedding with mermaids down under the sea if he ever cursed the Drowned God aloud.
The owner of the swanship Motherfunker was an exiled prince of the Summer Isles, a big man with a short black beard, shiny bald head and a dark patch over his left eye that he can’t see through. He was Captain Samullu Jaqenssen, but notoriously called the Black Sparrow … though Olyvar had never heard of him until recently. He and his crew were the only sailors that would assist them in their cause, hypnotized to be a part of their upcoming famous Westerosi song. He was to help navigate his galley at high speeds hugging the rocky coast of the Westerlands. With the three rowboats hung to the side of Motherfunker, it would be hard for the sentries on top of the Rock to spot from above. The Motherfunker stayed far away from the coastline to only emerge near their objective at the time of attack. With a single swanship with plain black sails, the Black Sparrow hoped that the Lannister watchmen would pay them no mind as a regular trading galley on its way to Lannisport or wherever, instead of a vessel for an amphibious assault on their castle. And the stronger the winds and the faster the ship, the window of time to be exposed was much shorter. “They had the need for speed, and the speed needed the wind,” Goose had said the night before. The gods have blessed them with strong winds now. They were to come with the sun setting at their backs in the west, blinding any coastal lookout. Because they were cursed with this approaching storm, the plan changed and they had to depart earlier. Olyvar prayed that this would not compromise the mission. Only time will tell.
Racing onto the storm and nearing the rising cliffs, the Captain spun his ship quickly to a southern course and gave the crewmen the signal to dismount. “Ahhhhhhhhh-ah Ahhhhhhhh-ah!”
“Get ready to push!” the Blackfish commanded.
Each oarsman pressed the tip of their long wooden stick onto the hull of the galley, ready to push off. The Summer Isle crewmen began severing the connections of the mothership and its three rowboats. Single-handed axes swung as LionsJape pushed itself off, the first of three. The rowboat plummeted and the waters swallowed it before spitting it back out just as quick. After allowing itself to lose in Motherfunker’s wake, the oarsmen redirected the bow towards the rocks at the Blackfish’s orders.
The WinterStorm followed right after with Lady Maege’s commands, “Push lads! Push! Push!” as it dropped.
Now it was BattleWolf’s turn. “Gods damn it, I’m too old for this shit,” Lord Glover said as he raised a gloved hand and swung it down, giving the signal to cut. At the main deck, the crewmen swung their axes, gleaming gold in the western sunlight as the oarsmen pushed off. For a heartbeat, the fall had taken Olyvar’s breath away as Lord Glover’s BattleWolf floated in the air. Are we flying? Are we on a dragon? His rowboat slammed into the water, splashing chilled wet droplets inside the boat and out. His hair of short black curls flew and fell, dampening at the plunge. The collision almost knocked Olyvar and the men overboard, but they hung on. The Motherfunker left them with a white salty wake as it headed south. Lord Glover then commanded the starboard men to pull their oars, aiming towards WinterStorm. Olyvar pulled. Once aligned, both sides of BattleWolf began to rev hard. The men were howling and roaring with each tension, trying to evade this dangerous zone of being spotted.
Since the Red Wedding and the death of his beloved King, Robb Stark, Olyvar could not sleep. Grief, anger, vengeance, insomnia and drowsiness took him over the days and nights that felt like half-dreams. But the crashing kiss of the water dive had re-woken Olyvar in shock, as he realized what they were about to do was no fantasy he had ever known. Nothing can stop us now, this is really happening. His heart was pounding to the rhythm of the oars and he wanted to scream his battle cry. He could still hear Jaqenssen the Black Sparrow sounding his siren “Ahhhhhhhh-ah Ahhhhhhh-ah!”
We are brothers loyal to the King in the North, the land of ice and snow. We serve Riverrun and Winterfell, where the hot springs flow. And now the divine winds of the gods had driven our mothership to the Westerlands. To fight for honor, the North will sing and the West will cry. Casterly Rock … Winter is Coming! On we sweep with threshing oars, our only goal will be the western shore!
As Olyvar’s oar rose and fell, he looked up to the windows of Casterly Rock’s tall stony towers, searching for the signaling candle light. But it could not be seen this early. Only when the sun was fully set as planned, this candle would replace it as the guiding light. They rowed by rocks and rocks and more rocks. Seagulls flew in spheres above them, chasing one another. The sun still hung in the air, slowly falling to splash onto the western horizon of the Sunset Sea. They then rowed by a courtyard that just floated on the earth forty feet above the sea’s surface. Suddenly on the other side of their boat, they eyed a whale skimming off the glimmering golden ocean. The boys of the vulnerable BattleWolf did not say a word as the monstrous water-beast swam the opposite direction just twenty yards away from them, paying them no mind. It was a good thing I did not curse the Drowned God as I was going to earlier.
Olyvar, Alesander, Leo, Mikkal, Raff and Donal were seated on Galbart Glover’s rowboat, rowing to Galbart Glover’s commands, “Row! Row! Row your boats you son o’ whores!” and taking in Galbart Glover’s cold stare as he eyed the two Freys specifically when he said it. Olyvar’s arms began to tire, but this was not the place to show weakness to his brothers. So he pulled on while keeping their rowboat as close to the stony walls as possible to avoid detection from above.
They trailed the Lady Bear while following the Blackfish. Soon after, Ser Brynden Tully had found his mark and grounded LionsJape onto a small beach. His men exited, flipped the rowboat above them and dashed forty yards straight toward the rocky edge, where a small barred cave was fitted at the base. Underneath the rusted iron, a thin valley of brown watery slush stank & trickled into the sand & sea. Everyone knew what that was when they agreed to participate in the assault. The Blackfish was told back at Riverrun about a sewer path inside Casterly Rock that allowed all the shit and piss to drain out to the ocean. This tiny hole by the foot of the mountain was all and everything for the mission.
When the sprinting men reached the end with their boat, they dropped it at the skirt and pressed themselves against the wall. The façade was conveniently arched outwards as it ascended, making it difficult to be sighted from above. With the waves muffling the noise of speech, any of them can speak freely outside at sea level. From the cliffs above, their human conversations below would only sound like ghostly whispers. No casual listener should be alerted to such. But hearing and seeing are different things, and they must not be seen.
WinterStorm and BattleWolf soon followed. As Olyvar departed BattleWolf, he cringed at the soreness of his arms that the work had left him. His arms will have to ache again as his squad lifted the rowboat above their heads. They stormed towards the barred entrance, with bow and quiver slung on each shoulder, a turtle shell shield at the center of his back. While the others carried shorter lighter personal weapons, Olyvar was equipped with a longsword that once belonged to his King, Robb Stark.
They dropped off BattleWolf when they reached the wall, waiting for a way in. Ten brothers on one side of the cave, and eleven on the other. The closest ones to the door had their small axes and weapons drawn along with their shields, while the further ones notched an arrow onto their bow. Olyvar had his Summer Isle goldenheart bow ready. The entrance was small, the same size as their black shields, guarding the realm of Casterly Rock, and they continued to wait.
This thunderstorm was coming, and it was not part of the plan. It was the Blackfish’s decision to leave Motherfunker earlier before the storm surges would flood the sewers of Casterly Rock. Their forty yard dash from the beach to the gate may be twenty yards if they arrived an hour later … and there may be no more exit by the time they escape back. But Stark loyalists hidden in the woods outside of the castle were told of executing this assault at the exact evenfall of Queen Jeyne Stark’s arrival to Casterly Rock. The Lannister soldier escorts would be exhausted from their march and acquired a false sense of security when they reached the safe comforts of the castle. The Stark land forces led by Lord Gawen Westerling would create a mummer’s farce with trumpets and drums, sending the weary Lannisters to one side, as the Blackfish himself attacked the other from the sea. Evenfall of this day was the golden time to do this, but they arrived an hour too early. With the storm, Olyvar prayed that everyone else would adjust to the plan. He wondered if Lord Westerling would account for the storm surges. But it makes no difference now. They were here, and they cannot turn back.
Suddenly the rusted iron of the barred cave unlocked and swung open, creaking like a loud squealing rat. Emerged was a crouching older man with a short gray beard and a jaw squared like a mason spice jar. “Welcome to the Rock!” Ser Rolph Spicer declared.
Ser Brynden greeted him with a hug, “I’m so glad you came early, we would be sleeping with the fishes if you were late.”
“It was Edmure’s idea to leave early, he said the storm would flood the sewers, and we prayed you would come sooner too.”
“Like that damn Mill again, Edmure acting prematurely? That boy will never learn! Thank the Gods!”
They both chuckled and began entering through the gate. The others soon followed, ducking into the small hole and into the darkness.
Once inside the caves of Casterly Rock, Ser Rolph grabbed his torchlight and lifted it to the air, showing the brothers the vastness. The lobby was an open abyss where the ceiling was fifty feet high. The walls had multiple rocky openings naturally carved in, small and large. Some were wide enough to walk through. Inside were all shadows, saved the areas illuminated by golden sunlight spying in through each seldom hole or fissure. Where the flames can brighten, hard brown rocks glowed and flickered, as well as old metal tracks, mining carts, abandoned tools, ladders, rusty chains and the occasional plant roots that brewed in the darkness of the caves. The smell reeked. Olyvar was sure there would be no real gold here as it was probably mined out over the centuries. Only shit shits down here in the sewers and caves of Lord Tywin Lannister’s home, not gold, Olyvar thought. This was where Lann the Clever started his legend, swindling the Casterly residents out of the castle, cheating them. It was their turn now to write history, these archers from the sea facing off with their own modern Casterly ploy … accomplishing it without being seen, doing it as faceless warriors.
They followed Ser Rolph and his torchlight in single file, going deeper up into the caves, fitting in burrowed hallways that barely fit them, pursuing his decisions at each fork in the paths, squishing their feet on sluggish wet slopes and steps. The very first entrance they encountered required them to descend a few yards before climbing up the rest of the way. It was hundreds of feet in elevation that they must ascend to. At times, the way was lit well enough. But at other instants, the darkness blinds them, only facing the brother in front of them for their flight. I have promises to keep. And steps to go before I sleep. And steps to go before I sleep.
“By now the guards at the top of the Rock should be asleep after I spiced up their ale,” Ser Rolph Spicer said with a cheeky smile. “Before my sister Sybell married into House Westerling, I explored these parts of Casterly Rock in my youth as a smuggler, going up and down many times. Your legs will tire, no doubt about that. But you lads are years younger than I, and I better hear no complaints unless I am the first one to make it.”
“I’ll do my best,” young Leo announced for himself.
“Your best?” Ser Spicer questioned. “Losers whine about their best. Winners rescue crowned queens.”
“Lady Jeyne Westerling-Stark is THE crowned Queen,” Leo replied.
“Is that so?” Ser Rolph gave Leo a sarcastic look with a raised eyebrow, before continuing up the steps inside the Rock.
“I’ll decide the turns and I’ll establish the security checkpoints. There, we can rest for a moment. A few of you will be left there to guard the area as the others will continue to ascend. Those few will wait until we fall back. But remember, the journey down is far less exhausting. For now, let’s go up and up. Ser Olyvar Frey, would you take the honor of watching our rear?”
Ser Olyvar Frey. The name was still queer to him. As much as he liked the ‘Ser’ in his name, he would like to rid the “Frey” in the surname. He had been the most loyal squire a king could have asked for. He would have stayed with King Robb Stark to the end of the world, but his own blood tore that away from him. Olyvar was not blind though. His young king had made grave mistakes, more than Olyvar wanted to count. As much as he would have favored his sister Roslin to marry him, Olyvar knew you cannot choose the people you love. And Robb genuinely loved another, he hoped. Jeyne Westerling was just as sweet as Roslin. Olyvar would have stayed at Robb’s side as his brother-in-law, or some uncle-in-law by Lord Edmure Tully. Though by choosing Jeyne, it slighted Olyvar’s father Lord Walder Frey. But Seven Hells father, did you have to murder him? At my sister’s wedding feast? Under your own roof? Under my roof? Robb Stark was my king. He was brave and good, and Olyvar Frey loved him. And his soul was tortured in sleepless days and nights, knowing he shared the same blood as the murderers … knowing he could have stopped it if it was not for impulse. You are an honorable fool Olyvar. His father had told him of the treacherous plan the day before, but Olyvar cursed it aloud, defending Robb as it was still his duty. You should’ve been smart and played stupid with father. You could have informed Robb while you were still free, breaking this bad dream. Olyvar shouldn’t have tried to bargain with his father. He should have known he made up his mind a long while ago. Olyvar was imprisoned in the dungeons of the Twins during the Red Wedding. The gaolers were japing at him, “Go ahead, do your duty. Save your king!”
My king. The sad memories faded into blurred flashbacks.

I apologize for reposting but I wasn’t able to edit my original post or add additional photos.
Original Post: We purchased our home a little over 3 years ago. It was remodeled in 2020. We recently had an entire home surge protector added to our 200 amp panel after losing power for 8+ days due to storm. Electrician said we needed to replace/upgrade 6 GFCI’s (3 in kitchen, half bathroom and 2 full bathrooms) with new WR GFCI on areas required by code. Seems like that would have come up in our home inspection if the existing GFCI’s were a problem, right?
He also said our breaker panel was all wrong and needed troubleshooting. “Remove 6 existing square D breakers from panel and install new 20 amp square D breakers, balance voltage on panel and reorganize”. He said he would need to come back to re-label the panel because everything has moved around now. My husband and I tried to figure it out ourselves and it doesn’t make sense. The washer and dryer are now on the same 20 amp breaker. Before the washer was on its own 20 amp and the dryer was on its own 30 common trip (#20 & #22). We are not sure what the 50 amp common trip for #1 & #3 goes to either. I feel like we got conned for an additional $530 of unnecessary work. Or am I wrong? Any thoughts, advice or suggestions?
Edits: I appreciate the feedback that was given in my original post. Thank ya’ll! I had a feeling something wasn’t right and feel so dumb but I did want to give a little more background here…So on saturday 5/25/24 first night home after losing power during storm (derecho) on 5/16/24, we noticed all kinds of electrical issues with breakers tripping. Appliances were not working properly including microwave, oven/stove, and washer and dryer. Driveway gate didn’t open either. It took 4 hours to cook a casserole! It was like poltergeist with random lights flickering and breakers tripping etc when running any of our appliances. So we had this electrician come out on Sunday 5/26/24 to check it out. We explained the problems and he checked our equipment. He said we needed a dedicated breaker added to our panel for our driveway gate. We had the gate motor installed after we bought the house. The contractor that did the gate install tied in the power for the gate opener to the breaker that controlled our living room lights. I might be wrong in thinking that made sense because we have never been able to run a space heater in the living room during winter without everything tripping. Per the Viking installation instructions, power requirements are “120 VAC/240VAC (4.0* Amp/1.0 Amp) Single Phase (50Hz/60Hz) *includes 3 amp load on receptacle”. This electrician added a 20 amp breaker into the #7 slot for the driveway gate. Is this what he should have done? He said we needed a back up generator in the event of another power outage but we can’t afford that right now. He also said we needed the whole house surge protector as it would protect our appliances. He also said that some breakers needed to be replaced and the panel re-organized bc there shouldn’t be any blank covers like we had causing it to be off balanced…? He said something about the covered/blank slots all needed to be in the bottom slots of the panel… After that, he took off the panel cover and did some sort of testing and said “oh wait…before I can do any of this work, you first need to call Centerpoint because there is a problem on their end.” He said one side of the panel was pulling 140 and the other side was getting 100 from CP when it should be pulling evenly with 120 on each side. He said it should not be pulling more than 130 at the most on each side. Of course all of this is greek to me. Anyway, I called Centerpoint around 445p and was told they would send a technician out but if the issue was found on our property (ie: damaged weatherhead etc, CP would charge us $109. This electrician said it was likely a CP transformer issue. CP technician arrived at 10:45pm. He checked our equipment and said it’s not a transformer issue. If it was, our neighbors would be affected as well. Rather it was more likely a neutral wire issue. He proceeded to climb up 3 different poles on our street before he found the issue where the ground wires had become loose/disconnected and were causing problems with the power being evenly distributed to our house. After that, around midnight everything worked fine in our house just like it had before the storm. The next day, this electrician came back to do the following: “electrical panel troubleshooting, GFCI device upgrade, entire home surge protection and new circuit installation (for driveway)” for a almost $1000. It’s upsetting that after over a week without power in 100 degree weather, being displaced from our home and losing all of our food that we were taken advantage of. Unfortunately I don’t have any photos of what the panel looked like before without the cover but he did include these pics on his invoice. I definitely don’t trust anything this guy says now. He replaced my dad’s breaker panel not too long ago and we are getting ready to sell his house. Hopefully he did that right but I am wondering if when we go to sell our house, will these WR GFCI’s that he installed be an issue? I still have the GFCI’s that he removed. Only one of the 6 had this yellow sticker that says “ATTENTION the load terminals under this label are for feeding additional receptacles. Miswiring can leave this outlet without ground fault protection. Read instructions prior to wiring”. I have no idea which receptacle this GFCI was originally in and I am not sure if it matters. I did notice when I went around to push in the test buttons on the WR GFCI’s that he replaced in our 2nd floor secondary bathroom, it trips that outlet as well as the GFCI outlet in our 2nd floor master bathroom as well as the non gfci outlet in that same bathroom. However, when I push the test button on the GFCI in the master bathroom, it trips that outlet as well as the non GFCI outlet in the master bathroom only. Perhaps that’s okay? Last question, is there any value to having these new 20 amp breakers over the ones we had before with the white test buttons on them? Now I am questioning everything he did!

Kinda Anxious Feeling like What's The Purpose Of Living Sometimes.
Like Just Life People Is Not As Compassionate of someone with differences
As I feel Like Someone in my Position I Would Emphasize and try to understand
And not make Judgements because I'm not in their position
Just I'm Trying Not to Commit Suicide
I'm trying because the Thought is always in the back of my head through the Day
Like People Don't understand Which is understandable since they not on my Two feet
They are Not JaMarcus So They wouldn't Understand JaMarcus Perspective
Just Im Trying to Survive In A World Where I feel I should Die
I'm trying To Cope
Found Working out at home as a good coping mechanism
Mentally and physically
Only last a Hour post workout but really helps my anxiety temporarily
And helps me cope because everyday I wake up and wonder why
People Make me feel like I should Die
Constantly hear you are a burden
Or you are not good enough
I feel like I don't have any talents
And if I did have talents it's limited due to my Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety
and Panic Attacks Generalized Anxiety and Bipolar disorder I have
Feel like Capitalism kinda brutal
If you have a Disability which this issue is disabling
Makes me really sad
Just take the advice of my therapist and try not to dwell on it
Because if I do I probably wouldn't be alive right now . So I try to watch movies or listen to music
Or workout when I feel like that
Doesn't get rid of the feeling of not wanting to live
But it distracts me
Working out definitely does
It just my workout equipment really helps me
It's like having a support animal
Just feel like I'm not ready for a Service Animal or Support animal
I have difficulty leaving my house
And that wouldn't be fair to a animal if I couldn't take them outside to urinate or defecate
So I'm trying to wait until my condition improves so I can maintain another animal
Plus I live alone and don't have a wife or anything that would watch my Animal if I could not do it
Which Is not their responsibility it's mine since it's my animal
So working out at home really helps
I be scared of what my neighbors think
Because I literally tip-toe around my house which is not normal
Because I be scared I'm disturbing the neighbors
Even when I work out I have Silencer Pads that literally absorbed the vibration and sound of my weights
And I don't even drop my weights like a lot of people do
I don't Deadlift I only do bent over rows
And I gently put the weights on my silencer pads
When I lift dumbbells I don't drop my dumbbells on the floor
I gently put them down on my silencing pads
I squat lightly
I ride my cardio bike quietly
I bench press quietly
Just be scared my neighbors would complain
Even though I'm very gentle
And tip toe literally around my house
Because I be scared
I don't even play loud music
Like I have a neighbor that does play loud music
But he doesn't bother me
But I gently have on my noise cancelling headphones
But I'm scared because July 4th is coming up
And fireworks and Gunshots
I get nightmares and bad anxiety
Flashbacks of being shot at by my dad
Some of these fireworks now sounds almost like a gunshot but not quite
A gunshot you feel vibrations a gun has more velocity and force
And loud its scary
Especially them big guns I used to hear in Adamsville
Just I be feeling like I don't deserve to live
Because people make me feel guilty and I didn't ask to have bad anxiety
Got worse after getting shot at and other experiences that happened in my life.
Like People don't understand this just don't effects me Financially and employment wise
It also effects me interpersonally and romantically and recreationally even sexually
I can't even orgasm from sex regardless of how good the Woman feels.
And sometimes I have Erectile issues because of my anxiety
Like I'm limited to just dating apps and social media
Which I rarely be on because of my anxiety..
But people especially Extroverts don't really understand
Because they like people and stuff
Like Wendy Williams Famous Gossiper
Extroverts love crowds they love people
They love parties the more people the more energetic they get
Like when I tried to play Football 🏈 and Basketball 🏀
I quit though regardless of my talent
And basketball I couldn't get the play structure.
Because basketball plays keep going on until someone shoots the ball
Atleast at School level
And my anxiety and Stuff makes it hard to get the plays
And organized basketball is not freestyle like I played at home
Which I was good 1 on 1 or 1 on 2.
I'll quit the basketball or football 🏈 team before the season starts...
Because of the agoraphobia and my Generalized Anxiety
Like Royce White he difficulty riding airplanes which they do in the NBA automatically due to schedule
He couldn't continue A NBA career because of that
Just in practice
Like I relate To Kobe Bryant
I'm not All the way Personality Wise like Kobe Bryant
But Similarities
Like Teammates had a problem with me
Because I didn't go to social gatherings and get pizza and stuff
After practices and scrimmages
Like due to my anxiety I was feeling in practices
I had good practices performance wise if it didn't involve running plays
But they didn't understand
But Teammates always had a problem with me
Call me Stuck Up Arrogant and all kinds of stuff
During the school day
Because my teammates were extroverted like
They like to talk and hangout after practice
And talk in the locker room
And I would immediately go home after practice
Because of my anxiety I was feeling
People don't understand I was having headaches and etc
Because I couldn't go but people get mad
Because they don't understand why I stay in my house
Like People online They extroverts
I attract extroverts
I'm already I guess introverted
Due to My agoraphobia and Generalized Anxiety and panic attacks I get
Just Shaquille O'Neal was More of A Extroverted Guy
I'm assuming Kobe Bryant was More introverted
Especially After The Incident in 2002-2003 probably became more introverted
But Shaq didn't understand
Because he is a extroverted he likes making people laugh being in public places and stuff
That's the part I relate to Kobe Bryant on
Just People don't understand people online get mad because I don't call or text them
Even extroverted family members
They take it so personal if I don't call
They don't understand what it's like to have Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety and etc
They don't understand they take it so personal
Like I personally don't like them or something
I have family members dead or alive..that's probably were or is mad at me
Because I didn't call them as much
It's not that I don't like them it's just hard to hold a conversation over the phone
But nobody understand since I'm a rare person
People call you lazy or all kinds of stuff
Because they just can't accept that this issue which Been
Effecting me my whole life
They don't understand because it's not them
They think it's not real or I'm faking It or exaggerating it
But this my life
This causes my depression genetically to get worse
I think being housebound and alone
Without social connections
Would make anyone depressed or even suicidal
Because 2020 I seen people feeling the way I feel in my day to day life
And some people still don't understand
Just I also don't like Georgia Whether Albany or Atlanta
I just don't like Georgia
I have so many bad memories and nightmares in Georgia
I'm never going back
I rather kill myself before I go back there.
Pain emotionally, Racism people Act like Atlanta Georgia doesn't have Racism
But This Is Where Dr King is from
Not as bad as Albany Georgia
But it's there not in the inner city
But all throughout the Suburbs and further
They are there
It's White people in Atlanta Metro as well
They keep acting like Atlanta is this black metropolis
Which is not I'm from Georgia
It's Not!!!
I had prejudiced teachers in the metro Atlanta area
They keep acting like Atlanta is this Extremely progressive place
If that's was the case Why Georgia Atleast In my lifetime there
Was red every election since 1992 because I wasn't born yet in 1992
Until I left in 2020
Even during the Obama years
I remember Georgia going red in 2008 before the night was over
They act like we don't have those people down there
Yeah 2020 it was a battleground
But the Obama years it went red quick
Even in 2016 red a little quicker than 2020
Just not true
Not saying Atlanta is Horrible
But it's very Overrated
It's no different than any other major city
People that are not from Georgia saying this
It makes me very mad kinda trigger me
Makes my blood boil
But it's their opinion doesn't mean it's true
Act like Atlanta doesn't have problems
Like HIV issues
It's a bunch of people that don't even know they are HIV positive in Atlanta . Some people scared to get tested which I understand
I wouldn't recommend prep to everyone unless you are a Sex Worker
Or kinda Impulsive like I am
Trying to make people happy and not make people feel weird
Because I wear condoms
Because some people get offended if I want to wear a condom
So HIV Medicine is kinda hard on the kidneys I take prep
Which is a HIV Medicine not 100% but helps but is hard on the kidneys
Since HIV Medicine is very powerful which it should . because it saved a lot of people lives
But as a person that doesn't have HIV it's hard on the kidneys
But Atlanta has problems It has Poverty I lived in impoverished areas on the West Side and Eastside
Throughout my life
Have family members living paycheck to paycheck
It's just like any other American city living paycheck to paycheck
Majority of the City is named after Mr Ted Turner
Mr Turner Had a baseball field named after him
Just Not saying Atlanta is bad but just overrated
It's no different than any other city
Actually when I moved to Atlanta I first seen Snow ❄️
Because Albany Southwest Georgia where I'm from
It doesn't snow it never snows
Maybe ice but doesn't snow
It rains a lot though in South Georgia
More Prone To Floods
Swampy Coastal Plain
Black Belt Cotton Belt they call it.
But Atlanta has homeless people as well
I remember when I first moved to Atlanta in 2006 I remember seeing
Black homeless people sleepy under bridges
And seeing them in centennial Park
And at the crowded underground Atlanta
And of course the train stations
Because it's warm in the train station
It has AC and Heat on the trains
So I don't blame the homeless
They trying to survive
But I remember seeing that all the time
On my end of Martin Luther King Drive
Remember seeing a church's a Kentucky fried chicken and a new Popeyes
On the same street
But no good quality grocery stores
Just family dollars and low quality grocery stores
That unfortunately doesn't have the resources
That's all I seen
I lived on the Westside of Southwest Atlanta for a long time
Remember being on Simpson road now Joseph E Boone
But remember seeing people smoking crack in broad daylight
Remember Seeing impoverished black people
My mom used to work on Simpson road as a property manager at a apartment complex
So I was over there Alot riding Marta with my mom
And I remember seeing the Georgia dome and centennial Park further down
And it looks so good
Vine city train station
Why where the Georgia dome it looks so good
But just further down Simpson road or Joseph E Boone
I see poverty like night and day
I lived there it's has poverty and homeless actually majority of the homeless is black
Cost of living since people is moving to Atlanta at high rates
Rent went up probably not California or New York level
Since those are bigger way larger cities
But Rent is not the same as it was in 2006
I remember you could get a 2 bedroom in a bad area for 700$ in 2006
On Simpson road you could get a 2 bedroom for 500$
But very run down and of course the bluff is across the street
But it's not like that
The music scene Is okay
Personally I don't like it
Atlanta been on top since 2001 when Jermaine dupri came out with Ludacris
And TIP came out with I'm Serious
But I never liked the music scene
I was stuck On Outkast and the 90s East and West
Mainly New York Rappers and Tupac and Kendrick and Ras Kass and stuff.
I know I don't remember I was young
But I grew up On East Coast Rap mainly and Tupac
Just when I was younger I was forced to listen to radio
And V103 used to play guys in Atlanta
And they would play their songs like 5 times in 1 hour
Got tired of it and they never played rappers from other regions
Seem like Atlanta labels payed V103 especially 2013
I had to stop listening
Because I really didn't like the sound
I'm kinda stuck on The Lyrical East Coast sound.
Or Tupac
So I listen mainly to Seattle Grunge and Jazz and Soft Rock
Alternative rock
No Country because not all country music is bad
But gives me prejudice vibes
Because I remember Kid Rock Did A Song with a Country Music Legend
And I remember hearing him and He Said All Kinds Of N-Words and etc
Just life Atlanta is overrated
Just in my experience I got shot at by my dad
Racism which is everywhere
But listening to these people you'll think Atlanta has no racism
Kinda anxious
Just be venting
Because life is hard to live in trying to
Just people don't understand why I have a hard time functioning
Done with the new paragraph
Just going to repost the older paragraph because I'm basically going to type the same thing again like I always do
Just a regular dude venting my life
I talk like this on camera which is exhausting
And off camera to my mom and to myself in my room
Thinking because I do talk to myself since I don't have friends
I don't answer my self
But speak aloud my thoughts and feelings to release tension and stress
So this just me venting on my life.
This something I been feeling Since I was like 5 years old
I kinda knew when I was 17 it was going to be even rough adulthood than childhood
Which I tried to kill myself in 2010 when I was on Gresham road
Which that Was behind the scenes at home
Only my brother and mother seen it
Just I kinda tried numerous jobs
From McDonald's to Goodwill to factories working upwards to 16 hours some days
Trying to push through but my body couldn't handle that
Like I was feeling "Flight or Fight" responses like I was Running From Being Shot at night
By My Dad in 2011
Still have nightmares about that it just doesn't go away
And more scenarios in my childhood as well I'm not going to disclose.
People don't understand I jump when I hear gunshots
I try to not look crazy around people
So I try to look normal
But every time I hear a gunshot or something my heart starts pumping
And I start feeling exhausted and sad
Like I can't control if someone shoots a gun or pops a firecracker
But I try to put on my noise cancelling headphones
Even certain songs I have to mute if I hear a gunshot sound
If I can catch it
Even movies I'm not familiar with
I try to mute sounds if a gunshot scene comes
If I can catch it
This really a big issue
But people don't see that when I have to mute my TV
They also don't see
When I have bad days
They probably don't see if I have good days
I try to get laughs in
Because laughter is natural medicine
To distract from the negative thoughts I have everyday
They don't see due to my meds
That have me very sleepy which I take at night.. but carries on to the next morning
Sometimes I wake up at 12 pm sometimes late as 5 pm
Seroquel just does that
Even I tried waking up early I end up going back to sleep
I literally have to take a pre workout supplement
Which has caffeine which makes my anxiety worse
Just to fight it the medicine
Like I workout it's the best medicine
Better than any Prescription drug I don't do recreational drugs
But it naturally gets rid of my anxiety while working out at home
Didn't work In a commercial gym.
Which this gym equipment saved my life
It really helps me
If I lose that I probably will kill myself
And I was at risk of Type 2 diabetes
And my blood work was off due to I couldn't work out since I didn't leave my house
And of Course mentally I got really depressed since I didn't have no coping mechanism
I be depressed Alot but working out helps me cope with the thoughts I have
And temporarily gets rid of my anxiety
But only last 1 hour post workout
And anxiety comes back
Some people think I'm on steroids
Which I think I'm small
But I can't keep a stable job
Plus steroids cost money
If I can barely afford food and amino acids
Which comes from protein and food
How can I afford steroids?
I never took a steroid
I don't even take creatine anymore
Because my kidneys
And I have health issues which my natural testosterone is ok
So I have no reason to take steroids and I'm not competing in bodybuilding shows
I'm not a YouTuber or social media influencer making $1000s or even 100,000$
Making money on the Internet so I don't have a reason to
Plus due to the medicine I take it effects my Kidneys
Like I hope my kidneys are ok
Because I love to workout and it really helps me
I probably would kill myself if I can't workout and build muscle anymore
I don't use steroids
Just men's vitamins and fish oil and beta alanine and protein and amino acids from protein
I eat 200 grams daily since I'm 235 right now
Just hope my kidneys get back normal
Because I take a lot of medicine
Might have to stop one of my medications
Because I take Prep Which is A HIV medicine
Because I'm so paranoid of Contracting HIV
But I Don't even have sex like that since I don't leave my house
But I just take prep because I be scared I'm going to get HIV for a Hypothetical reason
Which I know HIV medicines I don't have HIV
I understand if I had it
But I don't Have HIV I take Prep Which is a HIV Medicine to prevent Catching it
Which HIV meds is hard on the kidneys
But Weird Thing is I don't even have sex
I haven't had sex with a woman since 2022
I haven't been in a relationship since 2019
Which was my only relationship with a woman
Just I Do Have a Desire for sex like every other human being
But Masturbating is such a lonely experience
And sometimes gets depressing

In honor of my parents' upcoming 24th anniversary and my aunt's 6th I am going to share the chaos we all experienced 6 years ago today.
To start off, I will say that my aunt is not known for making good decisions or having good judgement. She gets herself into sticky situations and then relies on my mom (her older sister) or my grandma to rescue her.
About 7 years ago, after a disastrous engagement that ended explosively, my aunt started dating a new guy. We'll call him A and my aunt M. They dated for about three months before my aunt got pregnant. She was in her mid-40s at the time, so it was definitely unexpected. A wasn't super happy (I'll touch on why later), but he stepped up and accepted that he was going to be a dad. They moved in together and M said she wanted to get married.
A is an elementary school principal and M worked for a small non-profit, so neither of them were making much money. But A bought a ring and proposed and they were making things work. Then M decided to officially introduce A to the rest of the family.
We all had dinner at my grandma's house and it was super awkward. A is a loud, blunt guy who says what's on his mind, and he wasn't fond of us. My aunt later explained to my mom and grandma why.
A's parents died when he was in his early teens and he and his sister lived with his aunt afterwards. She wasn't a good guardian and he was pretty miserable. His sister was also a disaster in her own right and he was ready to get away from them all. Now, my grandma raised my mom and aunt as a single mom since my mom was 9 and my aunt was 5(?) (I don't remember how much older my mom is... oops!) My great grandma and great aunt were closely involved too, and the five of them were all super close, and still are. (RIP Great Grandma). Apparently, A was jealous and resentful of how close M was with her family and he didn't want us in their future kids' life because it was unfair.
A didn't outright ban M from seeing us but he was very vocal in his displeasure. As you can imagine, this caused a lot of fights. But they went ahead with the wedding.
They decided to get married on the beach in our town. M is Jewish, so she rented a chuppah (this is important later). She booked a few hotel rooms at a beachside hotel so she had a place to get ready and so my grandpa and his partner (who were flying in from across the country), had a place to stay. My grandpa's partner can't walk very well so a room near the wedding spot was requested by my grandpa. (Yes, they could have just been driven there and dropped off. My grandpa just didn't think of it I guess.)
My mom's contribution to the wedding was to buy my aunt her bouquet, and to surprise her by flying in her best friend from college (who lives in Kazakhstan). Part 2 of the surprise went great. Part 1 did not.
And so, we get to the fun part of the story. (Note: my aunt is 6 months pregnant at the time of the wedding.)
The wedding is supposed to start just before sunset. We arrive, we go to the spot on the beach, we say "hi" to A, and we wait for things to start. My aunt's best friend (she can be known as K) surprised her in her hotel room as she was getting ready. They had a sweet reunion and then it was K's job to come out and let us know that M was about to come out.
So, K comes out to the beach. The music starts. Good. Great. There's just one problem. The officiant has disappeared.
The officiant, who was A's close friend, apparently had a really bad fungal infection on his foot and the sand was bothering him (and because it was a beach wedding, A and M wanted everyone to be barefoot). My dad and I went searching and we found him washing his foot in the sink in a bathroom block. Super gross. Since we were in a tourist-y area, there were several stores. So my dad ran to one and bought some overpriced tennis shoes for the officiant.
Okay. Problem solved. We go back to the beach. It's getting windy now, and my grandma is worried about the chuppah. So my mom, dad and brother go to hold it in place. But with the wind comes the smell of weed. While we were tracking down the officiant, A's sister has gotten tired of waiting and decided to smoke a joint.
K starts arguing with her and it gets heated. Meanwhile, my great aunt, who has leg and back issues, is starting to get tired and sore from standing for so long. My grandma is about to go find out where M is (because she was supposed to come out ages ago at this point). But finally, we see her come out.
She makes it about halfway to us before she realizes she forgot her bouquet. For some reason, whether it be pregnancy hormones or stress or just sheer emotion, she bursts into tears and refuses to continue walking. K sprints back to the hotel room to get it, hands it to her, unpauses the wedding march music, and things start moving again.
K has a weird look on her face at this point, but we figure "hey, we're all miserable now. don't judge her", so no one says anything. My aunt FINALLY gets to A, under the chuppah (which is still being held in place by the rest of my immediate family), and the ceremony begins. It's basically nighttime now, but luckily, the ceremony and the vows were short.
There is actually a lot more chaos, but this is already super long, so I will try to wrap it up. There are rules about being on the beach at night, which we wouldn't have had to deal with if things had happened in a timely fashion, but because they didn't, we did. As the officiant says "you may kiss the bride", a sheriff comes up to us. My mom steps away from the chuppah to explain the situation and he was actually very understanding. He told us we had 30 minutes to wrap up and was about to walk away as my mom and grandma thanked him profusely. But then he sees the joint in the sand.
In my state, marijuana is legal. Littering is not. And A's sister reeks of weed. So she starts getting a citation... and then the canopy on the chuppah blows away. We're all so exhausted that A just sighs and says "leave it". So we take the chuppah structure down and load it into my family's ancient pickup truck. A is trying to wrangle his sister now, who is furious about the citation. And my great aunt, who has those leg and back issues? She is now in extreme pain and we actually needed the sheriff's help to get her to the car.
So we get into our cars and start driving to the restaurant. Nobody wants to go, but we paid for it, so my grandma insisted. I, however, am autistic. And lucky little me was so close to a meltdown that my dad took me home.
Remember when I said K had a weird look on her face after fetching the bouquet? It was because she sprained her ankle running in the sand. And when she got out of the car at the restaurant, it buckled and she fell. She managed to hobble inside though.
Apparently the dinner went smoothly, but it did end with my grandpa having explosive diarrhea in the bathroom. And I honestly think that summed up the whole experience pretty well.
M and A are still married and have two sons. They still fight all the time and A only sees us when he has to, but they are both in therapy and my cousins are happy kids.
Sorry for the length of this, but if you read it, I hope you enjoyed the ride. It's still our family's best disaster story and I sincerely hope nothing beats it... for many reasons.

In P17, Mr C magically materialised in the Twin Peaks Sheriff's station parking lot. Andy was first to spot him, thinking Agent Cooper had returned.

Andy: "Everyone's gonna be so happy to see you!"

Andy also pointed out he had a picnic basket, in case we thought it didn't matter.

Andy: "I was just taking this picnic basket in."

Mr C went in to have a chat with Sheriff Truman. Even if Andy stayed behind in the reception with Lucy, next he and his basket were in the Sheriff's office, helping Mr C to get a seat for himself. Then he rushed away, still excited that Cooper was back.

Andy: "I'm going to go tell Hawk you're here!"

What happened then was not clear. Andy's basket was not seen again. He didn't appear to have gone to see Hawk either as it was only later when a gun was fired that Hawk rushed to the scene. It looked as if this Andy just ran out of the story, jumping somewhere else, like Mr C had magically jumped into it. The Andy that we saw next may have been somebody else - unless then he was the same Andy, having spent some time elsewhere before thrown back to the station, now fully alerted to what was going on.
So what happened to Andy and his picnic basket?
When you jump, it can all be different, including your picnic basket.
Much earlier in P3, Andy and Lucy were in the station's conference room looking for "something" that was missing. Hawk came in carrying another kind of basket, an RR Diner coffee cup box. They had trouble figuring out what Hawk expected them to find. Andy spread his hands over the piles of folders and other stuff they had gathered on the table.

Andy: "This ... is here."

The gesture he made would have been meaningless if it wasn't the same that Cole asked Tammy to do with her hands in P7. As she spread her fingers out, Cole assigned a meaning for each of them.

Cole: "I'm very, very happy to see you again, old friend."

These two scenes also shared a red letter X, one in the EXIT sign next to Cole and another on the carton box next to Andy.
Is the old friend you are talking about in the room with us right now?
As usual, Lynch appears to have again taken things to the dreamlike absurd extreme. If the purpose was to indicate that when Andy made the same gesture, he also delivered the same message to Hawk, the scene in the conference probably was in continuation of Andy leaving the Sheriff's office with the basket in P17, whatever then caused such an abrupt jump in his story. Andy would not only have told Hawk that he was happy to have seen their old friend again - presumed to be Agent Cooper - but that this old friend was now right there and then, not just in the station but on the conference room table.
It's knot about the bunny, and probably about its basket and tie as well.
In line with this idea and suspected abstractions, Andy's disappearing picnic basket probably was to be found in the cover of the chocolate box, held both hands by the bunny. This would be followed by another throwback to the later showdown when Hawk appeared to understand what the message really was about.

Hawk: "It's not about the bunny."

This should apparently be heard a bit differently.

Hawk: "It's knot about the bunny."

There was a knot in the bowtie that the basket-holding bunny had around its neck. A bowtie can also be called as just a bow which takes us to another kind of bow, the weapon that Native American archers used to propel arrows at invading colonizers. That connected the bunny to Hawk's heritage, just like the Log Lady told him the missing "something" would.
Reflecting this back to Mr C in P17, when Mr C was shot by Lucy, Hawk rushed to the scene.

Hawk: "But that is Agent Cooper!" Sheriff Truman: "No ... it's not."

Again, we may have needed to hear the Sheriff differently.

Sheriff Truman: "No ... it's knot."

The knot and the bowtie.
That this was the intended approach was suggested a bit earlier when Mr C walked in to the station's reception. Andy turned towards him.

Andy: "Lucy, look who's here!"

On the other side of Mr C, visible through the glass doors and also in the line of Andy's sight, there was a quick glimpse of a white 2015 Chevrolet Trax parked in front of the station. Famously, Chevrolet's logo is a bowtie, thus connecting the knot and the bow again, like the bunny did. As a reminder that this wasn't to be missed, Cole arrived to the scene with another kind of Chevrolet the bowtie of which was pushed at the camera at 30:02.
Chevrolet Trax made space for a basket case.
If we pondered whether this really was something to pay attention to, the same Chevrolet Trax made a more pronounced appearance a few episodes earlier in P15 when it left the RR Diner just as Ed arrived there. Ed was dressed in a plaid shirt that had the same colors and very similar pattern as Andy's picnic box. Ed was excited about his freedom, but something wasn't right, and Norma looked at him with friendly pity, as if he was a bit of a basket case.
We got a further suggestion what to do with all this abstract strangeness when Cooper rushed to the scene and placed the green ring on the lifeless doppelganger's left hand ring finger. That is often regarded as the finger for the wedding ring.
Tying the knot.
If you marry someone, you tie the knot. There was a quite literal performance of this in P15 when furious Audrey tied her hands around her mystery husband Charlie's neck, after feeling she was "knot me" in P14. Here then, Cooper would have used the green ring to tie the "knot", causing the doppelganger and the green ring to disappear. But only the ring fell on the Black Lodge floor, leaving it for us to figure out what really happened to the doppelganger when the knot got tied.
She gave the basket to Mr Toad ...
Elsewhere in P5, basket-carrying Rebecca "Becky" Burnett was asking money from her mother Shelly while Norma watched on, playing with her bow - the rim of her eyeglasses - that between the cuts suggestively jumped here and there on the table. When Steven and Becky drove away, there was a subtle play with her green eyes that connected her to the knot of Cooper's tie, seen last in P6 on the Jones's table among piles of folders that reminded us of the piles on the Sheriff station's conference room table surrounding the bunny with another kind of tie.
In line with these connections, the name Rebecca means "to tie", here in likely further reference to her having tied the knot and married Steven.
... and the Country Squire gave it then to Andy.
There probably was another amusing play with contexts here. Becky left the basket with Toad, the diner's cook. The most famous toad is probably the one from The Wind in the Willows, Mr Toad, the squire who lived in a country house and was passionate about cars. This takes us back to Andy and his picnic basket that he took from the trunk of his 1979 Ford Country Squire, parked right next to that white Chevrolet Trax, these two cars now suggested to be abstractions of Becky and Toad and thus Andy's basket the same that Becky had, whatever that would then mean.
Steven was introduced in P5. The scene started with an exterior establishment shot that featured a large Chevrolet signboard, equipped with its bowtie logo. Mike asked to send Steven in. In the reception, Steven was sitting close to the glass doors through which we could see the same Chevrolet bowtie in the distance. As he walked in and sat down, the bowtie remained right next to his head.
This is a tight knot to open.
Comparing the scene to the Sheriff station's reception when Mr C walked in while another Chevrolet was visible through the glass doors, they also shared a lifesize duck figurine and a man carrying a large case. As a further reminder to think about the tie, when Steven left in anger, he was tearing his tie off.
As it seems, mindless Black Lodge doppelgangers needed someone to possess them before they got anything meaningful done. Here, we got good hints that the "knot" coming to the station as Cooper's doppelganger was actually Steven, the knot Becky had tied, the problem to solve.
Figuring out what this might mean, it is something to think about that both Mike and the Sheriff's office had two deer heads mounted on adjacent walls. The round, black top of the chair on which Steven sat was framed so that it resembled the round black mould that held BOB's head inside.

I've seen a lot of overzealous predictions on this subreddit so I thought I'd share my two cents.
If you're up to date on the 2024 map you'll realize that 287-251 signifies a Georgia would flip for Trump and everything else stays the same. The reasoning comes down to a couple main things:
The Polls:
So far polls are not looking good for Biden, if we just base a prediction on that, Trump claims an easy victory and glides to a second term. However, if we look a little bit deeper we see something interesting.
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/3/6/2227952/-The-538-GOP-Super-Tuesday-poll-averages-Way-way-off-and-systematically-overestimating-Trump-data
It seems 538 is overestimating democrats in safer blue states and underestimating in the swingier states, making election such as 2022 seem more accurate on the aggregate but in the states that matter, such as PA in 2022, 538 put Oz ahead of Fetterman by over a point only to lose by nearly 6. Same with Nevada where Laxalt was up over a point in 538 polling average only to lose by about 0.8%.
Why is this relevant? Because in the states that most matter, PA, MI, WI, AZ, NV, and GA, polls were off in favor of republicans by 1-8 pts. (My guess as to why this happens is because in both 2020 and 2016 polls were too much in favor of Democrats so pollsters had to adjust methodology and stratification)
When taking this into account, the gloomy polls surrounding the many swing states are within margin of error, and if the 2022 trend continues, this margin is just tight enough for Biden to squeek out a win.
The Economy:
By far what's holding Biden the most is inflation. Whether or not it is his fault is irrelevent for this because the electorate certainly thinks its his fault.
The current data shows economic problems looming ahead, however with the recent PCE report and wage growth it is clear that the effects of inflation aren't being felt nearly as much. Mutliple wholesalers have cut prices on commonly used items as demand has dried up, and the majority of current inflation is held up by energy, transportation, and housing inflation. Although all important for the average American, especially energy, this does not have the same effect as seeing high grocery prices (which in fact fell 0.2% MoM in the last CPI report, falling for the first time in a while).
I do not doubt that inflation has and will continue to be a major issue for the Biden campaign, but it does not cause the same vitriol as it did before. This means that many of the White Suburban Moms who came out for Biden in 2020 will not be turned away from him and will continue the trend established in 2018 of the suburbs shifting leftward.
Israel Palestine:
No doubt recent headlines have the Biden campaign shook, this issue has been extremely divisive and hurts the current president.
While I do think it absolutely will cause issues for his reelection campaign especially amongst the younger voters, I do not think this will be enough to flip the election. This is simply due to the fact that as the war winds down, people will care less about it. The death rate in the war has plummeted as Hamas is seemingly running out of any chance for counterattack; as less is talked about the war people will care less.
Furthermore, Biden's mostrecent statements have continued to be admonished by many of the Pro-palestine wing, yet as a consensus less people are agsint his policy as he aligns himself as a more ceasefire orientated person.
The Trump Conviction:
Just as seeing less Israel Palestine makes people care less about it, having headlines be bombarded constantly by "Trump is a convicted felon" will make even the most steadfast undecideds be turned off from Trump. The simple fact is that people care, Democrats care, Independents care, and Republicans care. This only stands to hurt him amongst avid voters such as Suburban Moms.
Why Georgia?
Unlike the other swing states which are within margins of error, Trump boasts a strong lead in Georgia polls. Furthermore, it seems that despite his best efforts, black voters are extremely unenthusiastic about voting in 2024 and they represented the demographic that won Biden the election in 2024. Furthermore, unlike the other swing states which boasted higher wage growth, Georgia had the lowest wage growth YoY meaning people are feeling inflation more there.
i hope you guys liked my prediction! I am very open to any criticisms or concerns, especially as I brushed over Israel Palestine quite quickly.

Will be headed to a neurologist soon and I heard an MRI and a CT is not the same thing? I had a CT in the ER and it showed nothing.
Newcomer: Sutter after cannabis OD
New Comer Here looking to make buddies to talk to for recovery motivation.
Male 19 years old. Used weed for the first time out of a bong my friend gave me and overdosed. I had a derealization, passed out when the medics came and had a panic attack while unconscious. I don't know how bongs worked so my friends gave me too many and I took 3 heavy ones which I about 6 "rips".
I thought I died, saw only white and thought I was paralyzed, so I tried to kill myself by holding my breath. It was soothing thinking I was dying as I saw nothing but I did hear the nurses talk, and then saw myself gain consciousness again and felt disappointed I did not die.
I was given benzodiazepine by the medics. I was fully conscious during the period by was unconscious body wise.
I feel the anxiety and the panic attacks that may come. Right now I am trying to figure out why I have a fuzzy numb feeling in my right side of the head.
I am still stuttering, my speech is bad. I have heard recovery is made after awhile.
While I was high I could not think and felt right side of my head as if something was attached to it. My right eye was dented and at a different angle compared to my left eye. I saw everything out of a box.
I have heard people who experienced what I did recover after 4 years. I wonder if I have created some sort of permanent brain damage or something that may lead to a stroke in the feature. Has anyone experienced this?
It has now been 24 hours but still feeling weird. Entering my second day. On Monday I will find out if I have recovered to a degree.
I feel less alone here. My family is all the way back in the mother country.
I am traumatized. I have seen people die in the ER, I have felt the pain and sadness before death. I do not understand, what the purpose of living is. I did not choose to feel all of this pain. 07/06/24
Update 06/09/24
Hi, right now I am back home, had one panic attack in the plane and two doctors on flight made me feel more safe. I was gasping for air and twitching. That’s gone now. I found out that the stuttering is caused by trauma. I feel as if my brain cuts out during the sentence I am speaking.
Sometimes it feels like my brain is shutting down and getting numb. Reading books exhaust me, I am very tired. Sleeping is hard.
I am kind of dazed and feel confused…sometimes I am scared that my brain will fail on me. Sort of like brain dead ish, exactly like it felt while smoking…never again.
I am looking for a friend group to talk to.

Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance. With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles! Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound. Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl. Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight. Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice. Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!” Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky. Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees. Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls. After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore. Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust. Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep. “Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview. The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?” Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him. “Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…” Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel. “Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?” Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back. “You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!” Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.” Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend. Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is. With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation. Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose. Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office. Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility. Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence. “This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!” “Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!” “No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.” “What the FUCK do you mean?” Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause. “That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face. “No, no, what the fuck. How?!” “You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.” “But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.” “That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…” “Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him. Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run. Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button. Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.” Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care. 1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble. The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors. Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly… “Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!” “Wait! I just need help!” “I said put your hands above your head!” Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.

A postal carrier, that anonymous stranger who knows your first, middle, and last name. They know if you’re married, single, or divorced; if you’re struggling to pay the bills, called to jury duty, or how well you’re liked by the amount of Christmas cards you receive. They know more than they should, and yet we know nothing about them. That never bothered me until my new postal carrier introduced himself with a complaint about a nonexistent problem.
One evening I came home from the office, and as I was launching my briefcase up into the air, aiming for the couch, and loosening my tie, I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and standing on the front porch with his arm extended, was the postal carrier holding a piece of paper. Was he new? Didn’t seem familiar but then again all I ever saw of the postal carrier was a shadow sitting in a tiny truck.
He was covered in dark, matted hair. I could see neither the skin on his arms or legs. The pale pigment of his skin revealed only under his grey eyes above a thick long beard and mustache.
He handed me the piece of paper. It was a form with a checkmark by one of many categories of complaint, of which I was accused of parking in front of the mailbox. On the very bottom was penciled: Please kindly move your vehicle from in front of the car.
It was a strange request since I never parked on the street. In fact, I never parked in the driveway. I always put my baby in the garage.
“But I’m not parked in front of the mailbox!” I explained. He simply flashed his pearly whites and walked away.
The very next afternoon the doorbell rang again. It was him, with another piece of paper in hand.
“This is ridiculous. I’m not parked in front of the mailbox. Holy shit, I’m not even parked outside!”
He grunted and shook his head no and pushed the note into my stomach. I grabbed the piece of paper. This wasn’t a form, but lined paper with a note:
This neighborhood sure does have a lot of rabbits, Jerry! You must be a very lucky guy.
Confused, I handed him back the letter. Jerry, great, he knew my name. Well of course he knew my name, but just to see evidence of it- that unnerved me.
“Yeah, well I don’t know about lucky,” I said as I tried to turn away.
“Why are rabbit feet so lucky?” he asked in a barely audible whisper.
“What? Rabbit feet?”
He cleared his throat. “Is it an award for catching them. Is the luck in their belly at first and then it just kind of sinks down into their feet. Seems a little weird to me. So, if I catch a rabbit and cut its foot off, how long will that luck last?”
“I got to go…” I tried to answer.
“I bet its only for about a week. I mean they’re real easy to catch. Doesn’t seem right you would get much luck for such an easy task.” He was excited about the topic and unwilling to stop the conversation, so I abruptly walked into the house and shut the door behind me. I could hear him still talking for a bit before he finally realized I wasn’t there.
“Ok Jerry, we’ll talk tomorrow. See ya, buddy.” I watched through the door lite as he walked back towards the mail truck.
“I like Jerry. That was a good talk. He don’t know much about rabbits though,” he said to himself.
For a third day in a row the doorbell rang. I refused to answer the door and stayed upstairs in my room. He was a stubborn carrier, that anonymous whoever standing on my front porch. He rang the doorbell for over an hour. When he finally decided to quit on the doorbell, he stepped out into the front yard and yelled up at my bedroom window.
“Ok Jerry, we’ll talk tomorrow. I left you something on the front porch. It’s a whole lotta luck. Should last you about three months.” I heard the truck door shut and the engine fade away into the distance.
I pulled the shade down to make sure he was nowhere around. I saw that the truck was gone, so I made my way downstairs. Outside on the front porch was a green plastic tote, with a flip-top lid. Flies were buzzing in and out of the partial opening where the two sides of the lid did not fit tightly. I could see dried blood on either side of the tote. I searched around the yard and found a stick. I took the stick, forced it into a small opening and lifted open the lid. The tote was filled with severed rabbit’s feet, what looked to be the remains of a whole bunch of rabbits. There on top was a piece of paper that read:
Jerry, I like you. Here’s some luck!!!!!!!!! Hope it lasts a long, long time.
Rabbits are so slow. It’s funny. Why are they lucky? But if that’s the rule.
Your friend.
The bottom of my throat bulged with the contents of my stomach. I vomited into the tote, not so much out of disgust, but out of fear. I went inside and called the police.
The police came and took my report, along with a detective that wanted a statement.
Detective Fletcher had a few questions. It wouldn’t take long. “What did this man look like?”
I explained to the detective as much as I could remember but felt it a little unnecessary since he worked for the post office. How hard could it be to apprehend him?
“No, this guy doesn’t work for the post office. Your postal carrier is on vacation this week. There was a report of a stolen mail truck, but we haven’t tracked it down. Seems like the carrier filling in runs earlier in the day. This other sick fella came afterward.”
“You guys are going to catch him, right?”
“Well…,” he shrugged his shoulders. He then pulled out a card and handed it to me. “If you remember anything else give me a call, otherwise call 911.”
Not feeling very confident with the detective’s answer, I decided to buy a gun. I found a pawn store on Dickerson Road and bought a small caliber revolver. Being that I had never owned a gun, or shot one for that matter, I resolved to get to the firing range and practice, but instead I tossed it unloaded into my nightstand and forgot all about it.
Months passed and the regular postal carrier resumed his route. Mike was his name. I forced myself to get to know him. I owed it to him, and I was thankful that he wasn’t a rabbit obsessed loon. He was rather confused by my unwarranted admiration, but we got along well. Mike had gone to Panama City Beach the week of my strange visitations. He had bought some bright yellow socks with palm trees embroidered across the seams. He wore them every Friday as a reminder that he now had less than a year before his next trip to the beach.
“Man, I wish I was back on the beach, but I wouldn’t feel right leaving you with my substitute. I hear the U.S. Post Office will hire anybody. Maybe next time I’ll leave you a rabbit foot for protection,” he would often say, never realizing that he had said it to me numerous times already. I would always laugh even though the joke had long run its course. Yet, I felt safe with him around. Everything was fine and right until that November.
Thanksgiving was two weeks away and I was getting ready for a trip back home to visit my parents. By the end of the night, I was exhausted from packing, planning, and the general chaos of holiday maneuverings. I laid down on the bed to take a load off my feet, and unintentionally fell asleep.
I was awakened by something landing on my chest. The lights were still on, so it didn’t take my eyes long to focus. There standing at the end of my bed was the crazy, fake, not-so-real postal carrier. The hair on his body had grown long, and hung in twisted, filthy knots. His eyes were dark red, and set deep under his protruding brow. He flashed his teeth, but this time there were long incisors situated on both his upper and lower jaws.
“I thought you would like the luck I gave you.” He struggled to speak through his fang-fitted mouth. “But maybe it wasn’t enough. My gift was not so good, so I got you something better.”
I pulled my eyes away from him and looked down at my chest. It was a severed human leg wearing a bright yellow sock with Panama City Beach embroidered across the seam. I shoved the leg off of me and onto the floor.
“Don’t do that,” he admonished. “I worked hard for that. He fought real hard. That kind of fight-back has got to be worth a lot of luck.” He lumbered over to the side of the bed, picked up the leg, and tossed it on my lap.
I quickly moved to the other side of the bed. This offended him; he growled and hunched over in an intimidating stance of defiance. “Jerry, you make me confused. Why don’t you like my gift?”
“I do. Believe me, I do. I appreciate the gift.”
“And the pretty sock?” he added.
“Yes, and the pretty sock.” I slowly reached over and pulled open the nightstand drawer to get the gun. He saw what I was doing and hurried around to the other side of the bed to accost me. I pulled the gun out and aimed, but there was nothing but a click. I had forgotten that the gun was empty.
“Jerry tried to kill me,” he bellowed in anger.
“No, no. I was just getting my gun to go hunt rabbits with you. I like the yellow sock, but you still got to get rabbits for luck. Human feet just have a very little amount of luck. I don’t know why but for some reason rabbits are magical and they got a lot of luck stored inside them. You said I didn’t like your first gift but that’s not true. Man, that was the best time of my life. I had all kinds of good luck flowing around me. Thank you. Now, I need more.”
“Really, Jerry?”
“Yes. Now I want to show you a special place where there are lots of rabbits, so many in fact, they fill up a whole field. You can just step out and pick one up without even chasing or shooting it.”
I convinced my bestial antagonist to wait outside while I got the car out of the garage. I told him that we had to drive across town to get to the field. I opened the garage door and backed out. I was hoping he was in the driveway so I could run him over, but the goon was waiting in the yard. He opened the door and hopped in the passenger seat. He smelled awful, like a wet dog, and his foul essence exuded throughout the interior of my car. I feared I would never be able to wash the stench out of the seat fabric. His labored breathing was loud and obnoxious. I was ready to be rid of him.
I drove over two hours to the next county, deep in a rural, swath of hills and patchy forests. I spotted a dirt road to the left and turned down it.
“This is it.” I stopped the car.
“Where are all the rabbits?”
“It’s on up the road but we got to get out and walk from here.” He looked over at me with a quizzical look. “Well go on. I just got to get something out of the trunk. You’re going to miss out on all that luck.”
We both got out and he walked on ahead as I walked around to the back of the car. He looked back, but I motioned him to move forward. I opened the trunk to complete the ruse. As soon as he was a good distance up the road, I closed the trunk and jumped in the car. I reached over and shut his door as well, pushing the button to activate the door locks.
He hadn’t noticed anything at all was awry. I was tempted to slowly roll up on him and then run him over, be done with the threat of him forever, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I put the car in reverse and slowly backed out onto the road. At that point he turned and ran towards me, wailing like a child, begging me not to leave him. I put the car in drive and sped off.
As I turned onto the road that led to my neighborhood, I noticed an abandoned postal truck parked up at the elementary school. It was at that moment I realized a crucial mistake in what I had done. Although difficult, I should have finished him off. I should have put him down. I traveled a long distance to rid myself of this ragged old dog, dropped him off in the country, in the middle of nowhere, as so many other irresponsible pet owners have done in the past, but unlike all those other pet owners, my damn dog can drive.

So today i turned on my lenovo loq 15IRH8 i5-2450H RTX 4060. some weird thing happen, suddenly my fan is loud for a moment when turned on, then second monitor become black and white only while my laptop monitor still normal. i then tried using print screen and paint in the laptop monitor but it shows normal color (i thought my external monitor broken). after entering desktop i can heard small fan noise, even thought usually i won't heard any fan noise unless i'm playing games.
after i restarted, my second monitor become normal again. but the small fan noise still persist.
my CPU package temp on idle is 50°C on HWiNFO
my second monitor is asus vz239H
anyone have any idea what just happen? the recent mobo issues cause me to be paranoid.

Hello 👋🏼Please bare with me as I try to type this without triggering an episode.
What my episodes consist of: shaking, twitching, my arms bend, neck bends almost as if it wants to rotate backwards, I make a "duh, duh" sound or gurgling as if I'm choking, muscle spasms, arms pop from moving in awkward positions. Other things they have morphed into, teeth chattering, babbling, total silence and inability to speak each time before and after it's over, rapid stomach pumping/jerking as if I'm out of breath or struggling to breathe. To add, I am aware with each one and know what's going on. I try not to talk much anymore because it sends me right into an episode.
Auras: sharp head pain, fuzziness, sharp stomach pain (new), nausea, restlessness (fingers rubbing and moving rapidly, rocking, swaying, etc), instant feeling something bad is about to happen 😳
Background: I had my 1st (what they thought was an allergic reaction or panic attack) on 4/25 and was hospitalized for 4 days. Had a video EEG done and MRI. Previously I had an incidental finding June 2023 of a small brain lipoma after bad inflammation/migraines that lasted over 30 days straight which no one seemed to be worried about. Fast forward, no abnormalities from EEG and MRI reflects various spots of white matter (small vessel ischemic disease). I had physical therapy while I was there. I did not speak or walk for 2 days. I was discharged without direction or guidance even after speaking with ER neuro, I was confused. May 19, I have another one but it was intense, unconscious after but lasted awhile. Hospital still did nothing. After that I continuously had 15+ daily until 6/1 they stopped but started back up again 6/5.
My neuro feedback each time: this is "great news" as it still doesn't seem to be epileptic although your episodes are morphing 🤦🏽‍♀️ I'll stop here as I'm exhausted from thinking about it. Thanks for letting me share 😊

So today i turned on my 15IRH8 i5-2450H RTX 4060. some weird thing happen, suddenly my fan is loud for a moment when turned on, then second monitor become black and white only while my laptop monitor still normal. i then tried using print screen and paint in the laptop monitor but it shows normal color (i thought my external monitor broken). after entering desktop i can heard small fan noise, even thought usually i won't heard any fan noise unless i'm playing games.
after i restarted, my second monitor become normal again. but the small fan noise still persist.
BTW my CPU package temp on idle is 50°C on HWiNFO
my second monitor is asus vz239H
anyone have any idea what just happen? the recent mobo issues cause me to be paranoid.

I'm a cancer(m) and I was dating a sagittarius(f) for over a year in an open relationship. She was ok with it and my partner was ok with it because they were close friends(partner is a virgo). Started out great, hit it off immediately, casual, and was having a great time together because I'm a moon Leo and we shared a desire for adventure and experience. The three of us would regularly hang out and go out because the three of us worked very well with each other. After a while though she wanted more commitment from me( very unusual for a sag) but being the supportive type I am I happily gave it which was ok with all parties involved. She then started feeling a type of way about my partner and they started drifting apart(completely understanding if I may have caused that dating both of them) on top of that she was having work, life, and medical stresses that she was grappling with. I pick up extra work to save up to help her put a down payment on an apartment because she was still living with her parents, so for about two months I barely saw either of them but consistently made sure to do what I can and reassured them it wasnt a permanent change. She told me after a very difficult health attack that she need to recoup which was completely fair, she needed time to re-regulate her body(she has very serious immune and blood issues) We talked to each other everyday essentially, knew everything that was going on, and the month before it broke off everything seemed ok, still texting everyday, giving affirmations and trying to make her feel better during the recovery. After the last month went by I asked her what was going on? Haven't seen you in a couple weeks wanted to know if everything was ok. She explains to me that she wanted to break things off because she wanted a more monogamous relationship and just wanted to be friends. I was upset of course because it seemingly came out of nowhere(it was a week before Valentine's day and two weeks before our anniversary) I wanted to talk things out but she wasnt having it and stopped talking to my partner and I where prior we saw each other every day. Finally I say to her that I wanted to talk in person and see how we move forward but she wasnt having it and decided to block me. Before blocking me she said she needed space and wait for the feelings to die down. I took it on the chin because I knew the type of person she was, but she kept contact up with my partner and explained how she was feeling guilty(we would see each other everyday on our ways to work) My partner as well wanted her to just talk things out but she refused until about three months later. We didnt talk in person but over video chat and after a four hour chat we came to a level point where we were ok. However as a sag she was extremely flirty to me still, and I was back because she explained how she still had feelings for me and I explained that to her as well. Nothing came of it though because she was adamant we remain friends even though she still was feeling a certain way. We still chatted everyday but less frequently, we would stay up late talking to one another and I asked what was going on with this. She explained how she flirts with everyone and not to take it any certain way. She still wanted to hang out with us but only in certain circumstances (like in large groups or at events where we wouldnt really talk with one another) I thought that was odd because I've had more platonic relationships with women than men and I saw no issue with chilling with just her because she wanted to see me still. After about a month I ask her if we really can talk in person, she threatens to block me again so I leave it. One night we start sexting one another, sending stuff back and forth and I explained how I wanted to meet up, she wouldn't have it. I let it go because I'm loyal, and yes still had feelings for her as well but then we began to talk alot about really personal details about herself and her problems(she never talk about that stuff with any close friends or family only her therapist) and I started feeling a certain way because I began feeling like I was being used or that she wanted me there but without the commitment. We argued and in typical sag fashion she was very blunt and high roady so I finally was fed up with it and told her in the most cancer way possible that she needed to get her shit together(no job, driving her parents car, still living with her parents at 30, medical and college debt, very egregious spending problem) she blocked me on the spot, put our personal conversations over snap and blocked my partner who had nothing to do with it. (Note:Through it all my partner knew everything that was happening, updated her with info and she did the same to me, kept communication very open because it was a difficult situation for them as well because they were very close being friends for over a decade. I'm just not sure what to do about it because she might come back and try and spin it a certain way and try to not take accountability for her actions and whether or not to give her another chance so I'm open to whatever advice can be given👍

I have no idea what's happened to my tree. Shortly after winter there was a bald spot and the branches were directly below the tree. I thought maybe the weight of snow caused them to break. Fast forward to today and the bald spot is now bigger. Everything on the ground is green and not dead. Is this plant health related? An animal? Aliens? Obviously I want to fix the problem so it doesn't get worse. I'm in southern Pennsylvania, US.

hi all! i'm on what i believe is session 9 and have been experiencing horrible brain fog, cognitive impairment, memory problems, severe/worsening depression, worsening anxiety, more s/i, the whole squad. during sessions the discomfort is a 7/10, and after sessions i feel cloudy, spacey, and disconnected with fatigue and head discomfort.
i'm worried i've damaged my brain permanently... should i stop now or keep trying? i don't want to make things worse, but i know there's a "dip" and maybe this is it. idk if the dip causes cognitive deficiency though. i can't focus on things and it feels like i can hardly have proper conversations with people :/

The blaring of the fire alarm woke me from my sleep. I swore loudly as I dragged myself out of bed. The alarm had been malfunctioning since early evening and this was the third time it had gone off since I had decided to go to bed for the evening. Each time I had checked everywhere for any sign of a fire and each time I had found nothing. The landlord would not come to fix the problem until the next day and I was not willing to take the risk of taking out the alarms.
So it was that I decided to put on my housecoat, grab a blanket and head out to sleep in my car for the night. Perhaps this was not the best idea. Perhaps I should have gone to a hotel, to gone to stay with a friend. However, I was exhausted both from lack of sleep and the previous days’ work, and my brain was not really working at full capacity. As such, I decided to sleep in my car. If I had known what would happen I would probably have just tried to suck it up and sleep through the fire alarms.
Needless to say, trying to sleep in my car was no fun. It was hard to find a comfortable sleeping position and, even with my pajamas, my housecoat and the blanket, it was cold. I am pretty certain that I spent at least two hours uncomfortably laying in the driver’s seat, trying to sleep and getting increasingly frustrated with my inability to do so.
At that moment, it started to rain. It had been overcast for most of the previous day and the forecast had been for overnight showers, so I suppose I should not have been surprised. Nevertheless, it came as a shock when I saw the flash of lightning and, about twenty seconds later, heard the thunder, followed by the tap, tap, tapping of raindrops on the roof of my car and on the windows. The already cold weather got a little bit colder and I contemplated going back inside, but then I heard the distant sound of my fire alarm once again going off for several seconds before stopping and decided not to do so.
And so I remained where I was. Lying in the driver’s seat of my car, a decidedly uncomfortable position. Clutching my blanket to myself and trying in vain to escape into unconsciousness, to ignore the discomfort of my impromptu bed, the discomfort of the cold, the sounds of the thunder and the tapping of the rain. And deep down inside, I felt, though trying to suppress it, the slight gnawing sensation of fear, a deep-buried, primal fear of the storm outside, the sort of fear that most can ignore, sheltered behind walls and doors when the bad weather comes out, but from which I had only the limited protection of the metal and glass box which I normally used for transportation but which had now become my shelter.
It was at that moment that I heard another tapping. At first I could not distinguish it clearly from the raindrops but eventually I started to tell it apart. A light tapping, regular and persistent, coming in a sequence of three, then a pause, then another sequence of three, then another pause, then another sequence of three, and so on. At first I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, just the rain. After a time, however, I could no longer convince myself of anything other than that somebody must be on the other side.
Part of me thought that perhaps it was somebody who needed help, or maybe someone who had noticed me and had gotten worried. I thought for a moment that perhaps I should look and see if one of these things was the case. However, the other voice in my head, the frightened one, was stronger and overruled in my thoughts. I wondered if perhaps it was a burglar, or someone on drugs who might attack me. And deep down inside, I feared something else. The persistence, the fact that there had been no interruption to the regularity of the tapping, the fact that nobody had called out my name and, possibly, something else, all made me wonder what could be on the other side of the glass. While the rational part of my mind told me that it was just a person or, more likely, a tree branch being blown by the wind or some such thing, some part of me, buried deep in my mind, feared the source of the tapping, feared that it might be something far worse than human, and did not dare to look.
But I did look, eventually. The tapping just would not stop and the worry would just not go away. I do not know how long, it felt like hours but it was probably not more than thirty minutes, all while the rain kept coming down. The tension kept building and building as the tapping would not let up and I clutched by blanket to myself like a frightened child. In the end, it was simply too much and I uncovered my face and stared through the driver’s side window.
What stared back at me was not human. A face, white as paper, oval-shaped and far wider near the top. The entire top part of the face was dominated by two circular, lidless eyes, solid silver glinting in the streetlight save for small black pupils rimmed by red irises, no nose and a wide mouth stretching in a grin from one pointed, bat-like ear to the other, revealing what must have been more than a hundred needle teeth. There was a strange quality about the apparition, which I do not know how to properly describe, something insubstantial, as if it were a reflection in a pond. Except for the eyes. Those were solid, silver disks with black pinpricks staring at me with hatred and nothing can convince me that they were not real.
As I stared at the creature, stiff with terror, the pale white fist that it had raised to knock once more stopped and opened slowly as the grin on its face grew even wider. Moved by a sudden realization of how much this thing resembled a reflection, I turned suddenly to face the passenger side, fearing that it might be in the car. Noticing that nothing was there, I breathed a sigh of relief, turning back to face the driver’s side window, only to see that the creature was on the other side of the glass, in the car with me.
I did not have time to scream before it was upon me, one hand covering my face, claws digging into the flesh of my cheeks, the other holding me down by my chest as its mouth filled with needle teeth opened wide, slowly approaching my neck.
I had accepted, in those seconds, that I was about to die, when suddenly the force of the creature’s hands bearing down on me seemed less solid, almost as if it were fading somehow. The expression in those terrible eyes which had been one of sadistic glee, suddenly turned to one of frustrated rage as the horrifying mouth which had been slowly approaching my neck rushed in that direction, as if the creature were desperate to finish what it had started. The needle teeth were barely able to break the skin, however, before they faded along with the rest of the creature.
After my attacker had vanished I looked about, bewildered, wondering how I had suddenly survived this attack. I noticed in that moment that the rain was beginning to die down. Looking out of the window, I even perceived a few stars. I was not able to register anything else, however, before I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The sound of tapping on my driver’s side window caused me to wake, screaming, only to realise that it was my neighbour wondering if I was all right and why I was sleeping in my car. Tired from my poor night’s sleep put relieved that this had apparently all been a dream, I lowered the window and explained to him the situation with my fire alarm.
I was about to exit my vehicle and return indoors to get myself ready for work when my neighbour asked “what happened to your face and neck? Did someone attack you?”
I felt my spirits sink as I asked “what do you mean?”
“You’ve got scratch marks on your face and neck,” he answered.
Looking into the rear view mirror, I noted with growing horror the puncture marks and scratches breaking the skin where the creature’s claws had cut into my cheeks as it held a hand over my face and where its teeth had broken the skin on my neck. The proof that what had happened last night had not been a dream, that it had all been real. Struggling to come up with an answer, I simply mumbled something about having been fallen and scratched my face before returning indoors and calling in sick from work.
There is not much more to say, really. My landlord showed up that day and fixed the fire alarm, which worked fine up until I moved eight months later. I am living in a new place now and doing all right.
There are a few more things which I would like to say, however. I did some research about what had happened to me the day after this horrific experience, to try and get some explanation. Most of the results which I got online were related to sleep paralysis and night terrors and in truth part of me believes that that is what happened to me that night.
However, in my research I came across two news articles. One was about a woman found dead in her car one morning seven years before my experience, having died the night before. Her throat had been torn open and a wild animal was suspected of being responsible, even though her doors had all been locked and the windows were up. The front driver’s side window was shattered, though police investigation suggested that it had been broken from the inside. The other story was from twelve years before my experience. This was about a man who was fatally attacked one night. He was found by a pedestrian running down the street, clutching his bleeding neck, then collapsed and died before he could say anything. The man was found to have run from his car which was parked beside the road, and blood stains indicated that he had been attacked while seated in the driver’s seat. Both attacks had taken place at night, during heavy rainstorms, while the individuals in question were alone. I will not provide their names out of respect for the deceased.
Whatever attacked me that night, I think it can only manifest itself at dark and in heavy rains. I also think it meant to kill me and that I only survived by chance, from the storm letting up just in time. I also firmly believe that it has killed before and intends to kill again. This is a warning to everyone to be careful when alone at night in the rain. That is when it hunts.
For my part, I rarely go out at night these days and never when rain is forecast. I especially avoid driving. I furthermore have always shut my blinds when it has gotten dark or overcast ever since that night, and when it rains and I hear the tapping of raindrops on my windows, I never look in their direction, especially when I hear a certain regular tapping that does not quite sound like rain.

The blaring of the fire alarm woke me from my sleep. I swore loudly as I dragged myself out of bed. The alarm had been malfunctioning since early evening and this was the third time it had gone off since I had decided to go to bed for the evening. Each time I had checked everywhere for any sign of a fire and each time I had found nothing. The landlord would not come to fix the problem until the next day and I was not willing to take the risk of taking out the alarms.
So it was that I decided to put on my housecoat, grab a blanket and head out to sleep in my car for the night. Perhaps this was not the best idea. Perhaps I should have gone to a hotel, to gone to stay with a friend. However, I was exhausted both from lack of sleep and the previous days’ work, and my brain was not really working at full capacity. As such, I decided to sleep in my car. If I had known what would happen I would probably have just tried to suck it up and sleep through the fire alarms.
Needless to say, trying to sleep in my car was no fun. It was hard to find a comfortable sleeping position and, even with my pajamas, my housecoat and the blanket, it was cold. I am pretty certain that I spent at least two hours uncomfortably laying in the driver’s seat, trying to sleep and getting increasingly frustrated with my inability to do so.
At that moment, it started to rain. It had been overcast for most of the previous day and the forecast had been for overnight showers, so I suppose I should not have been surprised. Nevertheless, it came as a shock when I saw the flash of lightning and, about twenty seconds later, heard the thunder, followed by the tap, tap, tapping of raindrops on the roof of my car and on the windows. The already cold weather got a little bit colder and I contemplated going back inside, but then I heard the distant sound of my fire alarm once again going off for several seconds before stopping and decided not to do so.
And so I remained where I was. Lying in the driver’s seat of my car, a decidedly uncomfortable position. Clutching my blanket to myself and trying in vain to escape into unconsciousness, to ignore the discomfort of my impromptu bed, the discomfort of the cold, the sounds of the thunder and the tapping of the rain. And deep down inside, I felt, though trying to suppress it, the slight gnawing sensation of fear, a deep-buried, primal fear of the storm outside, the sort of fear that most can ignore, sheltered behind walls and doors when the bad weather comes out, but from which I had only the limited protection of the metal and glass box which I normally used for transportation but which had now become my shelter.
It was at that moment that I heard another tapping. At first I could not distinguish it clearly from the raindrops but eventually I started to tell it apart. A light tapping, regular and persistent, coming in a sequence of three, then a pause, then another sequence of three, then another pause, then another sequence of three, and so on. At first I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, just the rain. After a time, however, I could no longer convince myself of anything other than that somebody must be on the other side.
Part of me thought that perhaps it was somebody who needed help, or maybe someone who had noticed me and had gotten worried. I thought for a moment that perhaps I should look and see if one of these things was the case. However, the other voice in my head, the frightened one, was stronger and overruled in my thoughts. I wondered if perhaps it was a burglar, or someone on drugs who might attack me. And deep down inside, I feared something else. The persistence, the fact that there had been no interruption to the regularity of the tapping, the fact that nobody had called out my name and, possibly, something else, all made me wonder what could be on the other side of the glass. While the rational part of my mind told me that it was just a person or, more likely, a tree branch being blown by the wind or some such thing, some part of me, buried deep in my mind, feared the source of the tapping, feared that it might be something far worse than human, and did not dare to look.
But I did look, eventually. The tapping just would not stop and the worry would just not go away. I do not know how long, it felt like hours but it was probably not more than thirty minutes, all while the rain kept coming down. The tension kept building and building as the tapping would not let up and I clutched by blanket to myself like a frightened child. In the end, it was simply too much and I uncovered my face and stared through the driver’s side window.
What stared back at me was not human. A face, white as paper, oval-shaped and far wider near the top. The entire top part of the face was dominated by two circular, lidless eyes, solid silver glinting in the streetlight save for small black pupils rimmed by red irises, no nose and a wide mouth stretching in a grin from one pointed, bat-like ear to the other, revealing what must have been more than a hundred needle teeth. There was a strange quality about the apparition, which I do not know how to properly describe, something insubstantial, as if it were a reflection in a pond. Except for the eyes. Those were solid, silver disks with black pinpricks staring at me with hatred and nothing can convince me that they were not real.
As I stared at the creature, stiff with terror, the pale white fist that it had raised to knock once more stopped and opened slowly as the grin on its face grew even wider. Moved by a sudden realization of how much this thing resembled a reflection, I turned suddenly to face the passenger side, fearing that it might be in the car. Noticing that nothing was there, I breathed a sigh of relief, turning back to face the driver’s side window, only to see that the creature was on the other side of the glass, in the car with me.
I did not have time to scream before it was upon me, one hand covering my face, claws digging into the flesh of my cheeks, the other holding me down by my chest as its mouth filled with needle teeth opened wide, slowly approaching my neck.
I had accepted, in those seconds, that I was about to die, when suddenly the force of the creature’s hands bearing down on me seemed less solid, almost as if it were fading somehow. The expression in those terrible eyes which had been one of sadistic glee, suddenly turned to one of frustrated rage as the horrifying mouth which had been slowly approaching my neck rushed in that direction, as if the creature were desperate to finish what it had started. The needle teeth were barely able to break the skin, however, before they faded along with the rest of the creature.
After my attacker had vanished I looked about, bewildered, wondering how I had suddenly survived this attack. I noticed in that moment that the rain was beginning to die down. Looking out of the window, I even perceived a few stars. I was not able to register anything else, however, before I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The sound of tapping on my driver’s side window caused me to wake, screaming, only to realise that it was my neighbour wondering if I was all right and why I was sleeping in my car. Tired from my poor night’s sleep put relieved that this had apparently all been a dream, I lowered the window and explained to him the situation with my fire alarm.
I was about to exit my vehicle and return indoors to get myself ready for work when my neighbour asked “what happened to your face and neck? Did someone attack you?”
I felt my spirits sink as I asked “what do you mean?”
“You’ve got scratch marks on your face and neck,” he answered.
Looking into the rear view mirror, I noted with growing horror the puncture marks and scratches breaking the skin where the creature’s claws had cut into my cheeks as it held a hand over my face and where its teeth had broken the skin on my neck. The proof that what had happened last night had not been a dream, that it had all been real. Struggling to come up with an answer, I simply mumbled something about having been fallen and scratched my face before returning indoors and calling in sick from work.
There is not much more to say, really. My landlord showed up that day and fixed the fire alarm, which worked fine up until I moved eight months later. I am living in a new place now and doing all right.
There are a few more things which I would like to say, however. I did some research about what had happened to me the day after this horrific experience, to try and get some explanation. Most of the results which I got online were related to sleep paralysis and night terrors and in truth part of me believes that that is what happened to me that night.
However, in my research I came across two news articles. One was about a woman found dead in her car one morning seven years before my experience, having died the night before. Her throat had been torn open and a wild animal was suspected of being responsible, even though her doors had all been locked and the windows were up. The front driver’s side window was shattered, though police investigation suggested that it had been broken from the inside. The other story was from twelve years before my experience. This was about a man who was fatally attacked one night. He was found by a pedestrian running down the street, clutching his bleeding neck, then collapsed and died before he could say anything. The man was found to have run from his car which was parked beside the road, and blood stains indicated that he had been attacked while seated in the driver’s seat. Both attacks had taken place at night, during heavy rainstorms, while the individuals in question were alone. I will not provide their names out of respect for the deceased.
Whatever attacked me that night, I think it can only manifest itself at dark and in heavy rains. I also think it meant to kill me and that I only survived by chance, from the storm letting up just in time. I also firmly believe that it has killed before and intends to kill again. This is a warning to everyone to be careful when alone at night in the rain. That is when it hunts.
For my part, I rarely go out at night these days and never when rain is forecast. I especially avoid driving. I furthermore have always shut my blinds when it has gotten dark or overcast ever since that night, and when it rains and I hear the tapping of raindrops on my windows, I never look in their direction, especially when I hear a certain regular tapping that does not quite sound like rain.

Paradox, Viciate, and Lorenzo continued on their descent into the castle to the Well of Wisdom. A sacred place bestowed on the Alphaverse since its creation. A well that possess the most valuable wisdom from across the Megaverse. Paradox had his group stop in one of the chambers for he assumed his prisoners will be awaking from the poison soon. He then had his chains wrap around King Alexander, Venessa, Cross, Tray, Selena, Malissa, Lucrest, Leoped, and Phonix. Viciate deployed several drones that aimed their weapons at the chained prisoners with Paradox standing resolute holding the Matrix of Eternity in his hands. The prisoners eventually woke up one by one and were greeted by crude words and jeers directed towards them. The chains that bound them prevented them from utilizing their powers to break their bonds and even if they did, the bullets from the drones will prove extremely lethal to their weakened state. Paradox ordered the prisoners to be placed in a line on their knees as he snapped his fingers which summoned imps and more infernal warriors to act as guards. King Alexander, "You can't restore the Matrix in the Well of Wisdom, it will shred you to pieces." Paradox smugly, "Maybe, but that's why I'll have each of you go in for me and see who can withstand the Well." Malissa, "He's going to sacrifice us! Where is Joan? Did she escape?" Paradox, "Oh I believe Tray knows the answer to that." Everyone turned wondering where Tray could be until he finally spoke, the others were shock at his new appearance for he appeared otherworldly to them. Tray did not lift his eyes towards the group, but rather hung his head low. Paradox's eyes beamed with sadistic delight as he spoke, "I guess one can say your sister is now very OPEN MINDED!" It took a few seconds for this joke to register in the minds of the prisoners, but when it did, all of them violently shook the chains in order to be free. "Go ahead use all your powers to break those chains, it only transfers your power levels into my soul. Lockjaw was right, all of you are complete fools in underestimating these accursed chains!"
He grabbed Phonix as his victim but stopped when what seemed to be an earthquake began to shake the foundations of the castle. The earthquake only intensified the longer it went, Venessa, "Does anyone else hear bass boosted music?" In a spectacular explosion of dazzling lights and rifts across space and time, Diamond's glowing body appeared in a giant hole in one of the castle's walls while blaring Hit Me Baby One More Time. Everyone was left speechless when they saw Diamond, believing it to be a ghost. "PARADOX!!!!!" In terror Paradox began to back away, "Impossible, I scarred you for life! HOW ARE YOU EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE?!" "It is not for you to know the circumstances that brought me here before you today. Regardless I am back. AND THIS TIME THERE IS NO POWER IN THE MEGAVERSE OR THE NETHERWORLD THAT IS GOING TO STOP ME!" Paradox ordered Lorenzo, Viciate, and the rest of his minions to dispose of Diamond as he journeys deeper to the Well of Wisdom. Viciate used his powers to generate clones of his allies as he slowly approached Diamond. Observing this, Diamond began to smile, "How about I even those odds." After finishing his sentence, 20 identical clones of Diamond manifested themselves behind him. Unlike other clones or copies, these 20 were able to act independently as a collective hive mind. The original Diamond attacked Viciate head on while the duplicates attacked the other clones and others attempted to free the prisoners. Viciate attempted in drawing his sword to strike Diamond in an exposed position, but Diamond's intense senses was able to prevent Viciate from using his sword. In a matter of seconds, Diamond punched Viciate to a bloody mess before leaving him stuck on one of the walls.
His abilities alerted him of several imps closing on his position, and in a swift motion, Diamond created a new Sword of Light, which was far longer and sharper to simultaneously decapitate all of the imps that circled around him. While watching all of this unfold before her very eyes, Selena could not help but smile at seeing Diamond restored to his former self, "He's back." A clone of Diamond randomly appeared next to her, "Nice to know I'm no longer on house arrest." The clone was able to free Selena from her chains and started to free the rest of the prisoners. After freeing them, he gave the group a new set of orders, "I may not know all of you, but focus your abilities in taking down those devilish warriors over there. I'll handle Paradox." The clone soon vanished alongside the other copies leaving only the original Diamond left. Just when Diamond started to follow Paradox's trail, Lorenzo used his acidic whip to suspend Diamond in place. Lorenzo was successful in his attack and used this advantage to expel fatal toxins into Diamond's lungs. "Ugh. Dude, you got some serious oral hygiene problems. Here take a mint!" Lorenzo's mouth was open due to him being stunned seeing his foe unphased with his lethal toxin. The supposed mint landed on his tongue, which resulted in a strong electrical shock being sent all over his body causing him to black out. "Nice whip though, I'm for real going to take this for my collection." Diamond bent over and collected the whip before resuming on his mission to destroy Paradox. Paradox was nearly at the entrance of the Well, but felt his body frozen in place, no matter how hard he tried to move. He finally realized he was frozen by Diamond's soul manipulation, yet when he made this realization, Diamond was already floating horizontally whispering into Paradox's audio receptor, "I think I am going to show off my newfound abilities."
Paradox tried to slice Diamond with a chain along his back, but Diamond vanished before he could land a hit. He reappeared behind him and with a simple flick, Diamond sent Paradox crashing through the castle's walls and ceilings. Paradox regained his stance as he morphed into Astros as he stopped a punch from Diamond which sent shockwaves, shattering any neighboring glass. Paradox kicked Diamond at his shin before hitting him with brute force across his face. He summersaulted backwards a few yards as he morphed into the Ice King. He then summoned several frozen daggers and sharp projectiles as he sent them flying towards Diamond at light speed. Diamond noticed the projectiles flying towards him as he achieved speeds that made time around him slow down several seconds. It was if things were occurring to him at a quarter speed, so with a wave of his arm, he took control of the projectiles and had them float around him before resuming time and sending them back to Paradox. Paradox moaned loudly as the projectiles lodged themselves in tight crevasses of his body and interfering with some of the vital mechanisms. The two teleported away from the castle into the depths of the grand city where they continued their battle. Paradox changed into Shen the disgraced Shogun as he desperately tried to slice off Diamond's limbs and head. Diamond casually dodged each attack with ease he summoned the Sword of Light which has grown longer and sharper to reflect his reunion with the Light. The two blades collided with each other, but Paradox was no match for Diamond's swordsman skills.
Diamond noticed Paradox's right arm malfunctioning from one of the ice projectiles and taking advantage of this weakness, he punched Paradox repeatedly in the chest before kicking him to the floor. He then created a revolver from his nanites and fired four bullets consecutively into his weak spot. He knew his bullets succeeded in wounding his opponent, for the sound of loose air began to hiss from broken wires and Paradox's arm glitching by morphing into many different appearances before changing back to its default appearance. Diamond smiled smugly as he released that Paradox was truly terrified in that moment, "Where has your self-confidence gone? Are those appearances not making you comfortable in your mechanical body?" "SHUT UP!" Paradox then changed into Mecha-Diamond as he was able to grab Diamond by his throat and threw him into multiple buildings. The two eventually landed on top of a commuter train before Diamond could free himself. Diamond sliced his opponent's arm to free himself and used his thrusters to fly backwards as he observed Paradox's body shifting gears to re-forge the missing arm. While in the form of Mecha-Diamond, Paradox had four mechanical tentacles grow out of him, which resulted in Diamond activating his suit to grow tentacles of his own. The two opponents had their tentacles wrap around each other as they fired their blasters at each other. Diamond tried to create two clones of himself, but Paradox's tentacles grabbed him and tossed him into one of the train carts as the civilians screamed in terror. He gradually regained consciousness as he prepared to find Paradox, but for a long minute, he could not sense Paradox. It was not until a lady screamed of a large spider approaching them from the other end when Diamond released it is Paradox crawling on all fours with great speed. Paradox shifted back to full height in a most grotesque fashion as his body spun in different ways before his head shifted back to its normal size. Diamond yelled at the passengers to run to the other cart as he dealt with Paradox. While the passengers fled, two extra mechanical arms began to form on Paradox's appearance of Mecha-Diamond as all four of arms ignited red plasma blades. "Attack Diamond!" The four arms began to spin in opposite directions of his body in quick movements as he rapidly approached Diamond that it was impossible to strike him above or behind.
Confused on what his next move should be, Diamond noticed parts of Paradox's chest plate were loose as it was glitching in and out. Out of options, Diamond swung at Paradox which he swiftly blocked with the four blades, but Diamond was able to have his nanotech grow on Paradox's arms as he then had the nanites send an electric shock on the foreign host, which granted him an opening in tearing off the chest plate and firing two blasts from his repulsers into Paradox's chest. This stunned Paradox as Diamond charged at him and began to tear all the vital wires, buttons, and controls that operated Paradox's mechanical body. Paradox's voice box became affected as it began to shift into different tones and voices as he tried to speak, "No, I will.....not.....be bested a.....second......time." Paradox was able to gain control of his arms as he threw Diamond out of the train cart out into the city's skyline. Diamond was able to shoot a grapple around Paradox's legs as he pulled both of them out into the air as his body began to glow golden with pure Light. Paradox descended towards him with chains around his body as he prepared to strike fatal blows on Diamond's body. Diamond closed his eyes as he extended his right arm while having his fingers form a finger gun. He whispered silently with firm conviction, "Through the power of Heaven's Light all things are possible......grant me the power to send this foul demon of a man back to the infernal depths where he belongs." Diamond then fired a large blast of pure Light towards Paradox as his enemy screamed in anger, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" The power caused from this blast was so strong and hot that it started to melt the metal on Paradox's body and causing any remaining circuits to fry.
Diamond floated towards the ground as he stared at a ball of fire fall towards the ground as it created a large crater. He stepped forward and saw Paradox's mangled body as his soul still held possession of it. Paradox was still able to manipulate his body to change into whoever he chooses, and as a last resort he changed to Diamond's mother. "Trevor.......how could you do this.....to me......your own mother.......after all your father and I have done for you this is how you repay us?" "Quit your bull you pathetic character of a soul. If I had the power to judge you in the afterlife, I would create a separate place for sadistic manipulators such as yourself so all you scoundrels can do nothing more than hurt yourselves for your sins!" Diamond then used his power to lift Paradox in the air and was about to crush his body and seal his soul permanently, but as he did so a blazing portal appeared as a pitch-black arm reached out and snatched Paradox before Diamond had time to react. Dumbfounded, Diamond de-activated his suit and left his Light form in order to process what happened. Realizing there was nothing else to do he traveled back to the castle. When he arrived, he saw how the group of heroes easily defeated all of the devilish creatures and were tossing all the dead bodies into a giant pile. Only one thing concerned him, the fact Lorenzo and Viciate's bodies were both missing from the battle. He reasoned they managed to escape, but with the injuries they sustained, it would be a long while before they would show themselves again. After making this assumption, Diamond's family greeted him with open arms and hugs, yet even Diamond did not recognize Tray's new body. Tray had to explain his entire story again to Diamond so he would understand why he looked like "A living glowstick." Hearing Tray's story about Joan made Diamond sorrowful and offered to help in making sure Joan's body receives a proper burial. King Alexander and Diamond hastily organized the funeral and gave Joan's family time to grieve and remember their youngest member that was stolen from them.
While the mourners were conversing with themselves, the king wanted to lead Diamond through the many rooms and wings of the enchanting castle. He wanted to show Diamond the inner secrets and history of this castle, so he very discretely led him down a flight of stairs into an older section of the castle where even most of the king's court were not allowed to enter. The two stepped through two enormous emerald doors and continued on through the darkness. The king ignited a turquoise flame from his hands and led Diamond to a large wall. King Alexander, "Stare at these murals Diamond. Notice the story they tell." Diamond stared at the murals and paintings on the wall trying to understand the history behind them. He saw what appeared to be angels directing two races. To the right were humans with their leader baring a resemblance to Alexander with folded hands in prayer as their eyes gazed at the Heavenly specters, in addition it appeared that swords and shields were descending towards them. To the left were the ancient race of Enders who also had their gaze towards Heaven, but descending towards their hands were scrolls with quills, signifying their role to write and document. At the front of the line of Enders stood none other than Ranfus, although significantly younger. Diamond continued down the wall as the next scene involved the leaders of the humans and enders being coronated with the two leaders' hands being locked in agreement. The next scene depicted what was either a battle or war where many humans and enders were dead, brough to their demise by rebellious humans. It depicted how after the battle Ranfus took the remaining enders away to a place that could supervise the entire Megaverse free from human interaction. The last scene showed the battle worn king of the humans siting on his throne with a tear in his left eye, while his right side remained stoic. His left arm pointed downwards to a decree while his right arm pointed upwards with a grand castle and city floating in the palm of his hand. "The Enders used to dwell with you?" "Indeed, for you see, the king in those murals is actually my great-grandfather. Time goes by very slowly for us here, not only that but we tend to live for thousands of years. Originally, after the first man and woman were created and fell into sin, we were created in the aftermath of that event. We bear the same weaknesses as other humans after the fall, but we were created to protect the Enders, who would document the shifting tide of Creation across the Megaverse. Our special duty connected us more in tune with the messengers of Heaven and we strived to live up to our mission of acting as the second example for the Megaverse, the Main Omniverse being the first. Yet, a few of the humans of my great-grandfather's time were seduced by the powers of evil for the many fallen angels, now turned demons, preyed upon their fallen status and sparked division between human and ender. Eventually a genocide broke out where rogue humans wanted the power of the Enders to themselves and would slaughter anyone who opposed them. My great-grandfather and Ranfus ultimately triumphed, but the damage had been done for the Enders no longer trusted us and collectively agreed humans everywhere were unpredictable and destructive. Ranfus left this Omniverse with the survivors of his race, thus leaving us as the sole inhabitants of this realm. From the ashes of the old kingdom, my great-grandfather led the creation of a new one as you can see here, but the reason why his left side is sad is the fact he did not kill the leaders of the rebellion. He did not want to take their lives, so instead he banished them to the wildness of the Megaverse. After casting them out of this Omniverse, he placed a ban where no one will be able to enter or leave. Using his divine gifts, he was able to practically make it seem like this Omniverse was erased and could not be discoverable unless him or another king wills its borders to open up once again."
"And what happened to the exiled ones?" "Most of them died across the Megaverse but their main leader, Mek'el continued following the path of evil and grew stronger in the powers of darkness. This granted him an unnatural talent of cheating death, but when an event in Omniverse 63,745 occurred when that Omniverse's Celestial had an offspring with that Omniverse's name for an angel, Mek'el sensed the potential of such an offspring." "Hold on, that's the Omniverse the Megaverse Council and I had named Evangelion. Yeah, those creatures they call angels are definitely not real angels, but you mean to tell me that this Mek'el influenced The Devourer?" "No, Mek'el BECAME The Devourer. He transferred his soul into the newborn soul of the deadly offspring, completely fusing with the new soul. In response to this, my great-grandfather on his deathbed, ordered my grandfather to create a device that could end Mek'el once and for all. That device was the Matrix of Eternity. It was hastily crafted before my grandfather sent it to Omniverse 63,745 hoping it could destroy Mek'el there. Unfortunately, it did not fulfill its original purpose due to Mek'el fully becoming The Devourer and traveled across the Megaverse eating the Core of whatever Omniverse he entered. His travels would take a long time to reach his next destination, but nothing could stop him. The Matrix continued to grow with wisdom in Omniverse 63,745 before an apparition of an Ender ordered a singular person to send the Matrix in the direction of the Main Omniverse. Eventually, the Matrix landed in your Omniverse, but was kept hidden for a long time with only glimpses and rumors of such a treasure of untold power being passed on from dimension to dimension. Finally at last, you found it in 2021 just as The Devourer arrived in your Omniverse. Little did you know, but upon his defeat when you unleashed the power of the Matrix, it sent shockwaves across the Megaverse. Myself along with my people celebrated when we felt the destruction of The Devourer, finally knowing a dark piece of our history has been put to rest." "When I traveled to Omniverse 63,745 last summer, it was promoted that they created the Matrix of Eternity." "Their leaders simply changed the story and wiped our part out of their history books, for the select few who told you it was their ancestors that created it are not at fault. For they too believe this error, this is simply a mistake on their ancestor's part and nothing more. Come along now, let's head back up a few stairs back to where there was an intersection, there is more I need to show you."
The king led Diamond to a room with many floating orbs that had different colors symbolizing a different Omniverse. "I am aware that you and the Megaverse Council have a broad idea to all the soldiers at the disposal of our enemy. But I want to show you some specific souls that are.......unique. The person known as The Ageless managed to recruit several corrupted versions of the strongest beings in your Omniverse's hierarchy. Among them consist of a fallen Omniversal Tribunal, Protectors, Insanity Trio, Bad Time Trio, many alternate timeline versions of you, and other powerful individuals from the Megaverse. The Ageless and Demonic Council calls this elite group the Bad End Friends. King Alexander brings forth an orb that displays the souls of those fallen humans. This reveals the true thoughts of their soul and what their soul really says." Diamond leaned forward to hear the cries of their souls and was surprised to hear their souls cry out in unison. "We just wanted to heal but now our nightmares are real, and we'll never wake up for we're torn apart! We want freedom! Freedom! Freedom!" Diamond could not believe what he heard, for it caused him to step back to avoid their cries. "Secondly, I want to briefly touch on the Ageless' story. Thousands of years ago lived a man born with unnatural gifts, he could enter into violent places and leave with minor bruises. He was able to kill the celestials in his world with his mere hands and crude weapons. Yet, he was not satisfied, he wanted more power and more entities to kill, for he enjoyed the bloodlust. This led to him being sought out by the fallen Seraphim now named Black Hat. He offered him more power and an entire place beyond his imagination to live the rest of his days as a butcher. The man agreed and henceforth became an unwavering servant directly to Black Hat. Eventually, he earned a reputation by parading himself as a savior wearing polished white and gold armor, in order to win the trust of many defenders who protected their native Omniverse. Once he won their complete trust and learned their secrets and fears, it would be too late for that Omniverse. For it would be a matter of time before complete carnage would be unleashed on all the helpless souls in that Omniverse. Thus, he was given the title Harbinger of the End.......a human who is an undisputed champion in gladiator battles with a mind to match his muscles.......a man always youthful, laughing at the hands of time........The Ageless."
"The last thing I want to reveal to you is the location of our enemy's base. The Megaverse Council has discovered it and that is Omniverse 6,666,666. That Omniverse had so many events that ran parallel with your Omniverse it was almost an exact copy. However, before your Omniverse was assaulted by Black Hat's forces in 2021, they won a resounding battle in that Omniverse. Everything that could have gone wrong in that final battle, did indeed go wrong." King Alexander used his powers to generate a vision of that fateful day. The scene pans to a bloodied and defeated Diamond with a shattered Sword of the Omniverse with Black Hat towering over him. The two listened intently when Black Hat spoke, "The Initiative has fallen. Its members......lost. You have been deceived......betrayed.........purged." The vision hovers over countless bodies of Initiative members that had died in the battle with some of their corpses disfigured and mutilated they were unidentifiable. "I can feel you are scared of judgement day. You led millions of souls to their grave. Your lukewarm faith shaken due to your pleas and petitions being ignored. So, I offer you a choice. Join us and postpone the judgement day, have all the pleasures of the world handed back to you, and avoid living the life as a failure!" The defeated Diamond raised his teary eyes and spoke, "I......accept!" The crowd around him chuckled as Black Hat stepped away with Alastor taking his place, "It's a deal!" The defeated Diamond shook his hand and became controlled and a vessel for Alastor until his original body could be restored. After this moment a large echo of thunder echoes across the battlefield with a bright light shining in the distance. The Ageless, "What is that?" Black Hat, "The veil of the Main Omniverse has been lifted. We are no longer kept out! We must seize this opportunity before it's too late." Ageless remain here with Alastor's vessel." "Why?" "If things go sour for me and my forces in the Main Omniverse, I want us to still have a strong foothold here in the Megaverse. This Omniverse will be perfect. I will be taking half of our forces with me." "What of the few people who survived this battle, should I find them and use them as prisoners and entertainment?" Black Hat had a sadistic smile, "There are no survivors!" The vision then played the sounds of screams with Diamond begging Alexander to end the vision. "That's enough! I cannot watch nor listen to this vision anymore! Please end this nightmare!"
Alexander ended the vision as the two were brought back to reality. Alexander spoke with sympathy to Diamond, "I did not show you that vision to torture you. I revealed it, because you need to understand exactly what to expect from our enemy and take deep root in your faith." "Why did the pleas and petitions of that Diamond go unanswered?" "Truthfully, that Diamond did not pray for deliverance, he instead wanted more glory and praise. When he was in public and prayed, it was for show, and he was not sincere in the words he said. Even at the last moment, he received a message from Heaven begging him to repent from his prideful ways and deliverance would come. Yet, in that last moment, he refused with his soul saying no it has to be my way and I do not want to change the life I am living and that's final. It was his fault no Heavenly aid came, now he has no one else to blame other than himself for his misdeeds and wickedness." Diamond's body had a series of goosebumps when King Alexander finished speaking. He always wondered what would have happened in the final battle for his Omniverse if there was no intervention, now he wished for this catastrophic example to leave his mind.
After this event, King Alexander led Diamond to a sacred place called the Veil of the Celestial Plane to speak with his angelic friends. Along the way, King Alexander explained to Diamond the difference between True Balance and Perfection. How True Balance is the perfect imperfect form of Perfection, because as mortal creatures that are finite with flaws no person alive can reach True Perfection. He explained how demons fear True Balance and how the demons only focus on temporal goals not eternal, for all that awaits them in eternity is eternal punishment. (This is a footnote, because at the end of this post in the comment section I will share the entire conversation in greater detail, for some reason the Sub-Reddit automatic rules count it as a rating post no matter how hard I rephrased the dialogue. Very weird that happened because it never happened before, but hopefully I will be able to share that conversation in full under this post, because it took a lot of effort in composing the dialogue.)
Filled with courage and zeal from their conversation, Diamond entered into the Veil and soon found himself in a vast empty white plain where numerous figures of light floated around him before manifesting themselves as angelic beings. He observed how each of the nine choirs of angels were present. "The Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels, and Angels. All present here at this very moment." A Seraphim spoke up, "Why do you wish to commune with us?" "I am here seeking advice from my Heavenly friends in these trying times. I'm sure all of you are very much aware and can sense in the Celestial Cosmic Plane that the forces of evil are growing ever so powerful. I can feel it within my being that soon a final confrontation may happen." Saint Michael the Archangel, "You already possess all that you need. You know the prayers for deliverance and aid. Furthermore, you know how your enemy thinks." "With all due respect, this time it is different. Different than the way it was for the fate of the Main Omnvierse. This....is the fate of the Megaverse....of everything that had exist, currently exists and will exist. Please there must be some advice all of you may be able to bestow upon me." A Virtue floated towards Diamond's soul to speak, "These particular demons feast on fear, chaos, and revenge. They want nothing more than to see the righteous fall, yet their common weakness is the sin of pride." Uriel intervened, "Pride, that ancient sin which was the sole root that led a third of our former brothers and sisters into disobedience. Fully rejecting the True Love of the Father and willingly following the arrogance of the fallen light bearer, who now brings darkness and death to everyone." Azrael quickly followed up with Uriel's statement, "When they fell from grace, they still retained their position and powers. Now with their leaders nearly having their bodies restored before their fall, through the power of The Seed, they are more of a threat to the Natural Order."
Diamond came to a sudden realization, "With Cloaked Shadow having control of the Dark and shadows in general, does that mean he was a Power before he fell?" The choirs nodded as Diamond responded with his hands near his mouth deep in thought. "I see, well if pride is their weakness than surely arrogance is a key factor in their personalities. Perhaps if the Matrix of Eternity is re-loaded with the knowledge accessible from the Alphaverse, it could overwhelm them." A Cherub, "Yes! The knowledge from the Alphaverse can restore the Matrix and used to harm the demons!" Saint Gabriel the Archangel, "Do not be afraid in this next step in your journey, Trevor. Since the fall of man, the Devil and his minions have actively been at war with mankind, searching for ways to snatch souls from Heaven. Yet, in the history of not only the Megaverse, but your own world, you know that God conquers all, even in the darkest times. From the persecution of the early Christians under the rule of the Mad Emperor Nero, deadly heresies, scandals, political and religious wars, the French Revolution, Napoleon Wars, Russian Revolution, Mexican Revolution, World Wars, down to the present. The demons worked through man to not only bring ruin to the face of the Earth, but to attack the Church. However, both the Earth and the Church have endured and will continue to endure until the end of time when God will come in all His splendor and glory and reward the just while punishing the wicked. For they will receive their reward." A Throne, "There is one more thing that will surely turn the tide of the war, but only as a last resort." Diamond, "What is it? Please share." A Seraphim, "The hypothesis of you being able to fuse with your friends Ben Tennyson and Xavier is true. If Xavier is fully in tune with his scarab and enter into his phase known as Sacred and Tennyson into Alien X, you three will become the singular most powerful entity in the entire Megaverse." Saint Michael the Archangel, "Be warned for this should only be used as a complete last resort. For there can be no going back when you three become a singular entity. There might be potential for you three to separate from this final form, but if there is, it will be certain death for no mortal can yield that much power. Arise young warrior, take courage, and have total faith on the Lord, He will hear your prayers. Remember we are at your side and every warrior in the final battle will have their guardian angel with them at all times."
The Heavenly beings once again became balls of bright light, which slowly blinded Diamond before he awoke from his vision back in his own body just before the Veil of the Celestial Plane. King Alexander stared at Diamond before helping him to his feet. Diamond, "I know what I must do. I must re-load the Matrix in the Well of the Megaverse." Alexander, "That's suicide. For you to be exposed to so much power and knowledge, it will vaporize you." "Believe me, it will work. Just help me recover the pieces of the Matrix and I will reforge it with the nanotech from my suit." Diamond sprinted with great haste through all the flights of stairs Alexander had them take, back to where the pieces of the Matrix laid. He had Alexander hold the pieces together in their proper position as the nanotech from his suit crawled around the broken pieces and fused the Matrix back together again. During this time the other heroes caught up to Diamond and Alexander and decided to watch as Diamond would enter the Well of the Megaverse. King Alexander led the group to the entrance of the Well where everyone wished him good luck. Diamond transformed into his Light form and entered the Well. This form allowed him to withstand the pressure around him as he opened the Matrix to collect wisdom from all corners of the Megaverse both the good and bad. When he did this, thousands of images and lifetimes flashed in his mind causing him to scream, in order to avoid his mind from overloading he constantly switched to different forms and phases every 30 seconds. Everyone waited anxiously outside after hearing Diamond's screams and began to fear for the worst, but just when their hope wavered, a silhouette started to walk towards them. From the depths of the Well emerged Diamond holding the restored Matrix of Eternity firmly in his right hand. King Alexander, "Welcome back Diamond!" "Thanks. With the Matrix restored and the new alliance your Omniverse has made with the Megaverse Council, hope for our victory has reached an all-time high." The heroes only stayed for a few more hours at the Alphaverse before returning back to the base of the Megaverse Council. Upon arrival, the Council members were stunned to see the return of their leader, and with swift orders, Diamond once again regained leadership of the Megaverse Council.
Epilogue
In a desolate place with abandoned buildings in Omniverse 3. "Volxi, can you head downstairs into our storage to bring some refreshment to our party?" "You got it sis!" Volxi entered into one of the chambers to find a spare stash of spiked beverages but was startled when she heard a voice echo in the darkness. "Time's running out Vol." She leaned over to view where the voice was coming from until her eyes landed on a glowing dark green warrior. She gasped as she recognized it was her old friend from Omniverse 8. "Cayden what happened to you?" "That name no longer has any meaning for me." "You look so different. Your skin is green and your eyes black. You look like......" "A ghost? Phantom? Condemned Soul?! Truly a miserable fate I have fallen into. Given a body constantly degenerating and repairing itself, allowing me to phase between matter but how painful it is feeling my cells destroy themselves before regenerating and repeating the process all over again." "Is this a dream?" "No." "I thought not, if it was there would be something to replenish my throat." Cayden hands Volxi a bottle. "Thanks mate. I still have a cup on me. Here it's on the house." Cayden took a long sip before speaking. "We haven't seen each other since the destruction of your people's original home. A lot has happened since then. Last year a terrible event plagued the Megaverse and I tried to stop it. I made my own device that enabled me to visit other Omniverses. I could sense something sinister causing many Omniverses to die. I took my weapons and went to who I thought was responsible. That man was so strong and talented, he mortally wounded me without taking our fight seriously. I thought at that moment when I laid dying that I would give anything to get a second chance at life. To see my friends and family again. My requests were answered by a figure in black business attire and a top hat."
Volxi groaned for she knew who he was referring to while Cayden continued on with his speech. "I accepted his offer and became what you see before you. The only part that was positive is in our contract, I managed to still own partial control of my soul. Perhaps it is through this partial ownership that causes me to experience great pains and desperately seek liberation." "And you came back to your friend for aid huh?" "No, I came as a messenger." Volxi stared at him with concern. "You struck a deal with him too, Volxi. A deal before your home, the ninth Omniverse was destroyed, causing you and all the survivors to wander throughout the Megaverse." "I forgot all about that deal. It can't happen this soon, he did not even stay true to his promise." "Is that really a surprise?" "DANG IT! Alright I'll wager my way out of it. I always do." "You can't talk to yourself out of this one!" "How long do I have Cayden?" Cayden stepped close to Volxi where he was only a few inches away from her face. "That name has no meaning for me, I'm The Shameful now. You have only a few hours. He will send his terrible leviathan to drag you, your sister, and this entire Omniverse along with you! Already his army sets their eyes on this world, drawn by ravenous hunger, by the one who bears the crimson scar." The Shameful laid his hand on a piece of Volxi's face that was not covered by cybernetics. "Make peace with your losses and may it only be a swift end and not a contract of servitude. Alas, he always comes to collect what is his." In that moment The Shameful vanished from her sight and without a moment to lose, she started running back upstairs into the settlement screaming for everyone to pack their things and prepare to leave. Her sister, Val stopped her, "Did you fall down the stairs giving you that slash across your face? What's coming after us?" Volxi stared deep into her sister's soul, "We need to run as far as we can and get our people to safety before it's too late." From a few hundred yards away The Ageless stood waiting for the perfect time to strike with Maestro Zorro summoning the nightmarish Leviathan.

Wasn't sure were to post this so if this is the wrong spot I will delete it but just wasn't sure what to do in this scenario.
To set the basics I am part of a pretty big family, my parents had 12 children and I am the 10th child in the lineup, so pretty far down. To be honest big families like this aren’t as rare as you would think especially in more rural states like the one we live in. Big families do come with a whole host of other issues which is what is causing this post.
Some of my older siblings have basically been dancing around the subject that they think we were abused/neglected. Or at least they are from my perspective and after talking with my friends who also think that I am getting really confused. When I think of abuse I guess I always think of the most extreme cases like beatings and stuff but my friends pointed out that there has to be milder cases which is what they think we were.
I grew up Christian (Not currently religious but no one in my family knows that yet) and my parents are pretty mainstream in that aspect. My mom’s dad was a pastor and was one of this fire and brimstone bible thumping ones. He was a riot when he wasn’t preaching though :D My dad had gone to college to be a pastor before deciding to go into another field, we grew up non-denominational but really baptist leaning for those who know those terms.
To get this out of the way from the beginning my parents did believe in spanking which I know is contentious in some circles as being abuse or not. In my families circles its not as long as it’s not done in anger and doesn’t leave bruises. (Funny story about that later)
My parents had kids pretty young which is why they were able to squeeze out 12 all in a row, no double ups or adoptions, 1 kid every 2 years. Of course this inevitably led to parentification (according to my friends) They had a buddy system. Each person had a younger sibling they took care of and the tasks varied. (for privacy reasons all siblings will be referred to by their number in order of age)
Sibling1 was my buddy, for me at least she did basically everything, she made sure I brushed my teeth at night, helped me get dressed in the morning, she taught me to read, helped me with school, did my hair, in public spaces made sure I didn’t wander off and get myself killed (this was a real worry lol I was a wild child) and generally was basically like a nanny to me. As I grew up her tasks slowed until eventually I took care of myself with no help but I remember a lot of times when I was sick, her still being the one to come in and make sure I was feeling okay.
My friends say that could be considered neglect but I am torn because like my parents couldn’t have handled all those kids themselves and really had to have the help but I digress.
I do have a scar on my hand from when my dad threw a glass at my sister and it broke and the shards hit me since I was next to her. My sister Sibling11 was also told that really early on (like age 4-6 I believe) she was spanked so hard she had bruises for a couple weeks on her bum. My dad did kick out some of my siblings when they were underaged but that only ever lasted like a couple hours so it was seen more as like an empty threat than an actual worry?
My dad does this thing when he’s mad were he grabs that back of your neck in like a “friendly” and “comforting” way but in reality he is squeezing really hard and it gives me like the heeby jeebies. I actively don’t stand near him when he is mad because of it. I remember listening for the back door because if he was mad you could tell by how it slammed and if he was mad you DIDN’T want to be the next person he saw. If you disobeyed or did something stupid at like the dinner table he would send you to his room in front of everyone which was humiliating as HELL and everyone knew you were going to be get spanked and then either you were sent to your room or sent back to the table with a smarting butt and I hated being humiliated like that (but that could be a personal issue)
I remember being chased by a dog down the street and screaming for my sisters who were really far ahead to come back because I was scared and mom and dad heard me and got mad that I was screaming in public and I got sent to my room for a couple hours because of it.
But all of these were really spaced out isolated incidents. I guess it also came in like waves? Usually we would get like really terrible and mom and dad would come down hard and then when we were more obedient they loosened up and like that might just be parenting right?
I feel kinda groddy saying it’s abuse and trying to claim something that awful happened to me because thats me trying to claim my issues were just as bad as like legitimate abuse which is exactly what I’m trying not to do. I know my parents loved me and did the best with what they had but I also remember I lot of my childhood being overlooked and really just kinda terrible? I always thought it was just because I was a bad kid on some way and now people are saying it might not actually be my fault which is apparently a very radical thought for me. I remember having fun. Dad taking us to Disneyland, us listening to him read aloud. I guess it’s hard to think he could be both things at the same time?
My dad has said some really messed up things in the past. I’ve been called obese (I was like 150 lbs which didn’t make me feel great) a slut, a whore, a prostitute etc. I was told when I moved out at 20 years old that I wasn’t ready, had no street smarts and would become an alcoholic because I have an obsessive personality. (Let’s just say Dad did NOT agree with me becoming a Doctor Who fan and getting merchandise like a sonic screwdriver replica) Not sure how fandom leads to alcoholism but I am here at 24 still waiting for the magical switch to flip. It is seen as a hobby though if its something they agree with which is way they didn’t think me being interested in learning how to write with a quill was in anyway strange. I have like 4 quills all supplied by them, I have books on the subject. I was told several times that I should have been born in the victorian times. I was allowed to sew dresses and WEAR dresses that were period accurate. Mom bought me an etiquette book from that time period because I was curious. So like actually cosplaying in everyday life as a victorian women was totally okay but wanting to own all the seasons of Doctor Who and buying a plastic nick nack that stayed on my shelf and was only used as a flash light to get to the BATHROOM was seen as concerning.
I actually recently got into kpop and my favorite group right now is Stray Kids for those who know and I told my parents. For my birthday I asked for one of their albums because I haven’t really been able to justify making that purchase on my own because of bills and stuff. My dad immediately said no. My birthday rolled around and they had bought me a record album (vinyl) of Owl City’s lasted album. Not to bash Owl City I do actually enjoy his music but not as much as other artists. When I asked Sibling11 why that gift was any different then me asking for a Stray Kids album she told me that I just had to face it like the Doctor Who stuff that they would never buy me those things because they think I am obsessed and so I would just suffer with other gifts instead. Anyway this probably to long already so I will leave it at this. Just really confused and don’t know what to do.

I'm 16 and I am usually regular with my cycle, but recently there has been a change. I have missed my period for about 2 weeks now and I am having a pregnancy scare..? We use protection everytime and he changes it out if he feels it's not safe and pulls out with protection on. I don't know if there is a way I am pregnant but also ive been hit with pretty big news. My mom told me I might be moving to a new state (obviously hit me hard bc duh) and we got into an argument and she didn't talk to me for days which caused me to stress and cry a lot more than I do within a span of 3 months. Apparently stress can be a contributing factor to a skipped/late period. I've had sore breasts and white discharge and some cramps which are usually what I get when im about to have my monthly.. but it also sucks because they are also pregnancy symptoms. Am I just going crazy?