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2024.05.15 03:05 Safe-Ad-3696 1WPO second surgery update
Following up on on my latest post TLDR: had failed a hysterectomy in February and second surgery was successful.
34 y/o, high BMI, stage IV endo, suspected adeno, (not confirmed in biopsy)dense adhesions and scarring. Had my LAVH, robotic assisted on May 7th. I found a super compassionate doctor who reassured me and gave me hope after I lost it when my first surgery had to be aborted. Surgery went better than expected, with no complications. It took about 6 hours and took forever for me to wake up. I went home the day of the procedure, only took oxy twice and been managing pain with over the counter meds and gabapentin before bed. Hot water bottles and heating pads. Bloating is annoying, I am lonely and bored but I am happy to be done with it. I felt immediate relief, pain peaked on day 2 - gas pain is no joke. I wanted to thank this community for the advice and support provided, it has been crucial for my journey and I am grateful 💗
My hysterectomy was the culmination of more than 13 years of seeking relief from my discomforts that only worsened over time.
It started with anemia on the verge of blood transfusion that had no explanation other than hypermenorrhea. Each menstrual cycle became more tortuous with the passage of time, heavy bleeding, clots, leg cramps, lumbar pain and chronic fatigue.
I will have seen more than a dozen gynecologists and various doctors.
Blood studies, ultrasounds, resonances, endometrial biopsies, colonoscopy, contraceptives, hormonal IUD that ruined my mental health, I tried absolutely everything. Until I went to the middle of the Amazon rainforest to seek relief in the medicine used by the Shipibos.
I came out of many consultations crying, medical gaslighting and gordophobia were 98% of my experience.
They sent me to the psychiatrist because my pain seemed to have no other explanation than to be psychological.
Since I knew about endometriosis I KNEW that surely it was what happened to me, but finding a doctor who would take me seriously and believe me cost so much. It cost time, money, energy, tears, mental health, putting the body.
First they confirmed fibroids, then suspicion of adenomyosis (waiting confirmation of the biopsy), in February I was operated on for 3 hours without being able to remove my uterus due to the intensity of the adhesions and the advanced endometriosis (phase 4 that was confirmed in said failed surgery)
I had my second operation with a specialist and an interdisciplinary team of gynecologists, urologists and general surgeons.
They took out my uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes. The uterus was attached to the abdominal wall, bladder, intestines and basically everything around it. They drained cysts in the ovaries that I keep. I was cleaned of endometriosis of the sacrous ligaments and mainly of the bladder that was very compromised. They took adhesions from me and I'm sure I forget more.
I feel like I was born again and although this disease is chronic and has no cure, I already hope to see improvements and have a better quality of life, make up for lost time ❤️🩹 I can’t wait to see if I can ride a bike again.
Now slowly recovering and feeling very emotional and tired, otherwise happy and excited for my new healing era.
Will include surgery notes, biopsy report and pictures for the curious ones, Hope everyone is having a lovely pre surgery or recovery journey, it’s not easy, but we got this 💪 we are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, we fight relentlessly and we show up for each other, our bodies are amazing and can do incredibly things. Sending lots of love your way, internet strangers ✨ 💗
Surgery notes:
Surgery
Findings: Laparoscopy: Smooth diaphragmatic peritoneal surfaces and liver without gross lesion. No injury under site of injury at umbilicus and no umbilical adhesions. Intraabdominal adhesions in the right lower quadrant at the site of prior appendectomy, with bowel and omentum adherent to the right abdominal sidewall. Once this omentum and bowel was taken down, there was a divot with a small amount of fat seen in the RUQ. Dr. Kim evaluated this did not require intervention. Similarly, no clear indirect R inguinal hernia seen without bowel and omentum involved, so Dr. Kim similarly did not recommend intervention. Omentum, bladder adherent to the lower uterine segment anteriorly. Extensive pelvic adhesions and evidence of endometriosis. Thickening of the bladder peritoneum and tacked up to lower uterine segment. Fallopian tubes and ovaries adhered to pelvic side wall, with left hematosalpinx noted in the setting of tortuous left tube. R ovary with small ~1cm functional-appearing cyst. L ovary with hemorrhagic ~2-3cm cyst. Rectum free, no posterior adhesions but extensive serosal endometriosis between the uterosacral ligament and on R posterior serosa overlying R uterosacral. Due to the ICG and use of firefly technology, the course of the ureters were well visualized. Procedure Details: After discussion of risks, benefits and alternatives to the procedure, written consent was obtained. The patient was brought to the operating room. The patient was positioned in the dorsal lithotomy position in yellowfin stirrups with arms padded and tucked at her sides. An exam under anesthesia was performed with findings as noted above. Urology completed a cystoscopy (no endometriosis) and placed ureteral stents with ureteral indocyanine green dye placement. See their operative note for further details. The cervix was dilated with tonsil forceps. Paracervical block was placed. The Rumi uterine manipulator with medium Koh ring was secured to the cervix. A Foley catheter was placed to drain the bladder intraoperatively. A 0.8 cm incision was made at the umbilicus, kocher used to elevate the fascia, and a Veress needle was inserted. Intraperitoneal placement was confirmed. The abdomen was insufflated until an adequate dome was achieved. A 8 mm robotic port was placed and the robotic scope was inserted. Under direct visualization, 3 additional ports were placed, two 8 mm robotic ports to the right of the umbilicus and one 8 mm robotic port to the left of the umbilicus. The patient was placed on steep Trendelenburg and the bowels were swept into the upper abdomen. The Da Vinci robot was then docked in position. The filmy adhesions in the RUQ were taken down with combination of cautery and sharp technique. The omentum was taken down off of the uterine fundus with bipolar and monopolar cautery. The left fallopian tube was followed out to the fimbria. The salpingectomy was then performed, starting at the distal fimbriated end of the tube and sequentially coagulating and transecting the mesosalpinx adjacent to the fallopian tube and well away from the ovary. The fallopian tube was left attached at the cornua. The procedure was repeated on the contralateral side. Good hemostasis was noted. The bladder was noted to be densely scarred to the LUS/cervical junction. The junction was incised with monopolar cautery and the bladder was meticulous dissected off of the underlying uterus/cervix to the level of the KOH ring as marked cephlad traction was placed on the Rumi device. Due to the anterior compartment scarring, round ligaments were not clearly identified. The thickened tissue in this area was grasped, cauterized with bipolar and divided with monopolar. Both ureters were seen using firefly technology. The left utero-ovarian ligament was ligated with bipolar cautery and divided with monopolar. The same procedure was performed on the right side. Marked cephlad traction was applied to the KOH ring. The uterine vessels on either side were skeletonized and ligated with bipolar cautery. The remainder of the cardinal and parametrial attachments were ligated with bipolar and divided with monopolar. The vagina was opened over the Colpo device circumferentially. The fibrotic uterosacral ligaments with overlying endometriosis was incised below the implants and fibrosis, taking care to avoid the ureters. The endometriotic implants over the right uterosacral ligaments were excised. The uterus and fallopian tubes were then removed through the vagina. Given the extensive adhesions and fibrosis, this portion of the surgery took an additional 60 minutes longer than expected. After that, the vaginal occluder was placed into the vagina to maintain the pneumoperitoneum. Dr. Kim then came to assess the inguinal hernia. He deemed no intervention was necessary for the R inguinal hernia or the RUQ divot. The functional ovarian cyst in the R ovary was drained. The 2 cm hemorrhagic ovarian cyst in the L ovary was felt to represent hemorrhagic corpus luteum. Two <1cm nodules on the R uterosacral were excised using cautery, taking care to avoid the right ureter. The vaginal cuff was closed using 0 V-lock in a running fashion in 2 layers . The area was irrigated, and hemostasis was evident. All instruments were then removed under direct visualization. The skin was closed with 4-0 Biosyn . Sterile dressings and Tegaderm were applied to all port sites. The ureteral stents were removed and inspected by urology and noted to be intact. A foley catheter was placed for routine voiding trial in PACU. Sponge and needle counts were correct times x2. The patient tolerated the procedure well and went to the recovery room in stable condition. There were no complications to the case.
Pathology:
Final Diagnosis A) Uterus, cervix, bilateral fallopian tubes, hysterectomy and salpingectomy: - Myometrium with leiomyoma. - Serosal/subserosal endometriosis. - Early secretory endometrium, negative for neoplasm. - Bilateral fallopian tubes and cervix negative for neoplasm. B) Peritoneum, right utero-sacral, biopsy: - Fibrotic squamous epithelium-lined tissue with scattered lymphocytic inflammation. - Negative for neoplasm and no definite endometriosis. Clinical Information Pre-op diagnosis: Adenomyosis [N80.03] Dysmenorrhea [N94.6] Menorrhagia with regular cycle [N92.0] Pelvic peritoneal adhesions, female [N73.6]
Gross Description A. Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse. Received fresh labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes" is a uterus with attached bilateral fallopian tubes.. The uterus alone is 105 g, 9.5 cm cervix to fundus by 6.0 cm cornu to cornu by 5.0 cm anterior to posterior. The cervix is 3.3 cm long by 3.0 cm diameter with a 0.6 cm diameter os. The ectocervix has punctate areas of hemorrhage. The serosa has scant fibrous adhesions anteriorly and extensive cautery and disruption posteriorly. The endometrium is ragged, hemorrhagic, 0.1-0.4 cm thick. The myometrium is up to 2.6 cm thick and is mildly trabeculated with cysts up to 0.1 cm greatest dimension filled with hemorrhagic material, suggestive of adenomyosis. There is a 0.2 cm diameter intramural well-circumscribed nodule with a whorled cut surface. No areas of softening are identified. The right fallopian tube is slightly serpentine, congested, 5.3 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter and has attached hemorrhagic fimbria. The left tube is 5.0 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter, purple-tan with attached hemorrhagic fimbria. Representative sections are submitted: A1-anterior cervix A2-posterior cervix A3-anterior endomyometrium A4-A5-posterior endomyometrium with possible adenomyosis (A4 with leiomyoma) A6-right fallopian tube and entire fimbria A7-left fallopian tube tube, entire fimbria. (MUA) B. Soft tissue, OTHER. Received in formalin labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 2)right utero-sacral biopsy" are 2 tan red rubbery tissue fragments, 0.7 and 1.0 cm, that are entirely submitted in B1. (AA) Case Report Value Surgical Pathology Report Case: SU24-15696 Authorizing Provider: Chiang, Seine, MD Collected: 05/07/2024 03:42 PM Ordering Location: UWMC Main Operating Room Received: 05/07/2024 05:21 PM Pathologist: Garcia, Rochelle Lorraine, MD Specimens: A) - Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse, 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes B) - Soft tissue, OTHER, 2)right utero-sacral biopsy
Surgery pics
submitted by Safe-Ad-3696 to hysterectomy [link] [comments]
34 y/o, high BMI, stage IV endo, suspected adeno, (not confirmed in biopsy)dense adhesions and scarring. Had my LAVH, robotic assisted on May 7th. I found a super compassionate doctor who reassured me and gave me hope after I lost it when my first surgery had to be aborted. Surgery went better than expected, with no complications. It took about 6 hours and took forever for me to wake up. I went home the day of the procedure, only took oxy twice and been managing pain with over the counter meds and gabapentin before bed. Hot water bottles and heating pads. Bloating is annoying, I am lonely and bored but I am happy to be done with it. I felt immediate relief, pain peaked on day 2 - gas pain is no joke. I wanted to thank this community for the advice and support provided, it has been crucial for my journey and I am grateful 💗
My hysterectomy was the culmination of more than 13 years of seeking relief from my discomforts that only worsened over time.
It started with anemia on the verge of blood transfusion that had no explanation other than hypermenorrhea. Each menstrual cycle became more tortuous with the passage of time, heavy bleeding, clots, leg cramps, lumbar pain and chronic fatigue.
I will have seen more than a dozen gynecologists and various doctors.
Blood studies, ultrasounds, resonances, endometrial biopsies, colonoscopy, contraceptives, hormonal IUD that ruined my mental health, I tried absolutely everything. Until I went to the middle of the Amazon rainforest to seek relief in the medicine used by the Shipibos.
I came out of many consultations crying, medical gaslighting and gordophobia were 98% of my experience.
They sent me to the psychiatrist because my pain seemed to have no other explanation than to be psychological.
Since I knew about endometriosis I KNEW that surely it was what happened to me, but finding a doctor who would take me seriously and believe me cost so much. It cost time, money, energy, tears, mental health, putting the body.
First they confirmed fibroids, then suspicion of adenomyosis (waiting confirmation of the biopsy), in February I was operated on for 3 hours without being able to remove my uterus due to the intensity of the adhesions and the advanced endometriosis (phase 4 that was confirmed in said failed surgery)
I had my second operation with a specialist and an interdisciplinary team of gynecologists, urologists and general surgeons.
They took out my uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes. The uterus was attached to the abdominal wall, bladder, intestines and basically everything around it. They drained cysts in the ovaries that I keep. I was cleaned of endometriosis of the sacrous ligaments and mainly of the bladder that was very compromised. They took adhesions from me and I'm sure I forget more.
I feel like I was born again and although this disease is chronic and has no cure, I already hope to see improvements and have a better quality of life, make up for lost time ❤️🩹 I can’t wait to see if I can ride a bike again.
Now slowly recovering and feeling very emotional and tired, otherwise happy and excited for my new healing era.
Will include surgery notes, biopsy report and pictures for the curious ones, Hope everyone is having a lovely pre surgery or recovery journey, it’s not easy, but we got this 💪 we are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, we fight relentlessly and we show up for each other, our bodies are amazing and can do incredibly things. Sending lots of love your way, internet strangers ✨ 💗
Surgery notes:
Surgery
Findings: Laparoscopy: Smooth diaphragmatic peritoneal surfaces and liver without gross lesion. No injury under site of injury at umbilicus and no umbilical adhesions. Intraabdominal adhesions in the right lower quadrant at the site of prior appendectomy, with bowel and omentum adherent to the right abdominal sidewall. Once this omentum and bowel was taken down, there was a divot with a small amount of fat seen in the RUQ. Dr. Kim evaluated this did not require intervention. Similarly, no clear indirect R inguinal hernia seen without bowel and omentum involved, so Dr. Kim similarly did not recommend intervention. Omentum, bladder adherent to the lower uterine segment anteriorly. Extensive pelvic adhesions and evidence of endometriosis. Thickening of the bladder peritoneum and tacked up to lower uterine segment. Fallopian tubes and ovaries adhered to pelvic side wall, with left hematosalpinx noted in the setting of tortuous left tube. R ovary with small ~1cm functional-appearing cyst. L ovary with hemorrhagic ~2-3cm cyst. Rectum free, no posterior adhesions but extensive serosal endometriosis between the uterosacral ligament and on R posterior serosa overlying R uterosacral. Due to the ICG and use of firefly technology, the course of the ureters were well visualized. Procedure Details: After discussion of risks, benefits and alternatives to the procedure, written consent was obtained. The patient was brought to the operating room. The patient was positioned in the dorsal lithotomy position in yellowfin stirrups with arms padded and tucked at her sides. An exam under anesthesia was performed with findings as noted above. Urology completed a cystoscopy (no endometriosis) and placed ureteral stents with ureteral indocyanine green dye placement. See their operative note for further details. The cervix was dilated with tonsil forceps. Paracervical block was placed. The Rumi uterine manipulator with medium Koh ring was secured to the cervix. A Foley catheter was placed to drain the bladder intraoperatively. A 0.8 cm incision was made at the umbilicus, kocher used to elevate the fascia, and a Veress needle was inserted. Intraperitoneal placement was confirmed. The abdomen was insufflated until an adequate dome was achieved. A 8 mm robotic port was placed and the robotic scope was inserted. Under direct visualization, 3 additional ports were placed, two 8 mm robotic ports to the right of the umbilicus and one 8 mm robotic port to the left of the umbilicus. The patient was placed on steep Trendelenburg and the bowels were swept into the upper abdomen. The Da Vinci robot was then docked in position. The filmy adhesions in the RUQ were taken down with combination of cautery and sharp technique. The omentum was taken down off of the uterine fundus with bipolar and monopolar cautery. The left fallopian tube was followed out to the fimbria. The salpingectomy was then performed, starting at the distal fimbriated end of the tube and sequentially coagulating and transecting the mesosalpinx adjacent to the fallopian tube and well away from the ovary. The fallopian tube was left attached at the cornua. The procedure was repeated on the contralateral side. Good hemostasis was noted. The bladder was noted to be densely scarred to the LUS/cervical junction. The junction was incised with monopolar cautery and the bladder was meticulous dissected off of the underlying uterus/cervix to the level of the KOH ring as marked cephlad traction was placed on the Rumi device. Due to the anterior compartment scarring, round ligaments were not clearly identified. The thickened tissue in this area was grasped, cauterized with bipolar and divided with monopolar. Both ureters were seen using firefly technology. The left utero-ovarian ligament was ligated with bipolar cautery and divided with monopolar. The same procedure was performed on the right side. Marked cephlad traction was applied to the KOH ring. The uterine vessels on either side were skeletonized and ligated with bipolar cautery. The remainder of the cardinal and parametrial attachments were ligated with bipolar and divided with monopolar. The vagina was opened over the Colpo device circumferentially. The fibrotic uterosacral ligaments with overlying endometriosis was incised below the implants and fibrosis, taking care to avoid the ureters. The endometriotic implants over the right uterosacral ligaments were excised. The uterus and fallopian tubes were then removed through the vagina. Given the extensive adhesions and fibrosis, this portion of the surgery took an additional 60 minutes longer than expected. After that, the vaginal occluder was placed into the vagina to maintain the pneumoperitoneum. Dr. Kim then came to assess the inguinal hernia. He deemed no intervention was necessary for the R inguinal hernia or the RUQ divot. The functional ovarian cyst in the R ovary was drained. The 2 cm hemorrhagic ovarian cyst in the L ovary was felt to represent hemorrhagic corpus luteum. Two <1cm nodules on the R uterosacral were excised using cautery, taking care to avoid the right ureter. The vaginal cuff was closed using 0 V-lock in a running fashion in 2 layers . The area was irrigated, and hemostasis was evident. All instruments were then removed under direct visualization. The skin was closed with 4-0 Biosyn . Sterile dressings and Tegaderm were applied to all port sites. The ureteral stents were removed and inspected by urology and noted to be intact. A foley catheter was placed for routine voiding trial in PACU. Sponge and needle counts were correct times x2. The patient tolerated the procedure well and went to the recovery room in stable condition. There were no complications to the case.
Pathology:
Final Diagnosis A) Uterus, cervix, bilateral fallopian tubes, hysterectomy and salpingectomy: - Myometrium with leiomyoma. - Serosal/subserosal endometriosis. - Early secretory endometrium, negative for neoplasm. - Bilateral fallopian tubes and cervix negative for neoplasm. B) Peritoneum, right utero-sacral, biopsy: - Fibrotic squamous epithelium-lined tissue with scattered lymphocytic inflammation. - Negative for neoplasm and no definite endometriosis. Clinical Information Pre-op diagnosis: Adenomyosis [N80.03] Dysmenorrhea [N94.6] Menorrhagia with regular cycle [N92.0] Pelvic peritoneal adhesions, female [N73.6]
Gross Description A. Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse. Received fresh labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes" is a uterus with attached bilateral fallopian tubes.. The uterus alone is 105 g, 9.5 cm cervix to fundus by 6.0 cm cornu to cornu by 5.0 cm anterior to posterior. The cervix is 3.3 cm long by 3.0 cm diameter with a 0.6 cm diameter os. The ectocervix has punctate areas of hemorrhage. The serosa has scant fibrous adhesions anteriorly and extensive cautery and disruption posteriorly. The endometrium is ragged, hemorrhagic, 0.1-0.4 cm thick. The myometrium is up to 2.6 cm thick and is mildly trabeculated with cysts up to 0.1 cm greatest dimension filled with hemorrhagic material, suggestive of adenomyosis. There is a 0.2 cm diameter intramural well-circumscribed nodule with a whorled cut surface. No areas of softening are identified. The right fallopian tube is slightly serpentine, congested, 5.3 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter and has attached hemorrhagic fimbria. The left tube is 5.0 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter, purple-tan with attached hemorrhagic fimbria. Representative sections are submitted: A1-anterior cervix A2-posterior cervix A3-anterior endomyometrium A4-A5-posterior endomyometrium with possible adenomyosis (A4 with leiomyoma) A6-right fallopian tube and entire fimbria A7-left fallopian tube tube, entire fimbria. (MUA) B. Soft tissue, OTHER. Received in formalin labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 2)right utero-sacral biopsy" are 2 tan red rubbery tissue fragments, 0.7 and 1.0 cm, that are entirely submitted in B1. (AA) Case Report Value Surgical Pathology Report Case: SU24-15696 Authorizing Provider: Chiang, Seine, MD Collected: 05/07/2024 03:42 PM Ordering Location: UWMC Main Operating Room Received: 05/07/2024 05:21 PM Pathologist: Garcia, Rochelle Lorraine, MD Specimens: A) - Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse, 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes B) - Soft tissue, OTHER, 2)right utero-sacral biopsy
Surgery pics
2024.05.15 03:02 wtfwafflezor (Selling) 550 Titles Planet of the Apes 1-3 iTunes 4K $10 Godzilla: King Of The Monsters 4K $4
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Brightburn (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.75
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Candyman (2020) (MA/HD) $4.75
Captain America: Civil War (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Phillips (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
Cars 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $15.50 (GP/HD) $9
Central Intelligence (Unrated) (MA/4K) $6.50
Charlie's Angels (2000) (MA/4K) $6.50
Chasing Amy (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Cinderella 'Camila Cabello' (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Clerks II (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.50
Collateral (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Come Play (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Commuter (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Conan The Barbarian (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5
Contractor (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Copshop (2021) (MA/HD) $6.75
Counselor (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Countdown (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $3
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6.25
Croods (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Cruella (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Da Vinci Code (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Crystal (1982) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dead Man Down (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.75
Deadpool 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Death Wish (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Despicable Me Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12.50
Devil's Due (2014) (MA/HD) $3
Devotion (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Die Another Day (2002) (Vudu/HD) $7
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Dirty Dancing (1987) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
DisneyNature: Monkey Kingdom (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Django Unchained (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Doorman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Downsizing (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. No (1962) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $5
Draft Day (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Dragonheart Collection 1-5 (MA/HD) $14
Dredd (2012) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Drive (2011) (MA/HD) $5
Dumb Money (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) (Vudu/HD) $5
El Mariachi (1993) (MA/HD) $6.50
Elemental (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $5
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Equalizer 3 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Eternals (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead Rise (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Exorcist: Believer (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5
F9: The Fast Saga + Director's Cut (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fall (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Fantasia (1940) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fantasia 2000 (2000) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fast & Furious Collection 1-10 (MA/4K) $28
Fast & Furious Collection 1-8 (MA/4K) $23 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast X (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.25
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Fault in Our Stars (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Fifty Shades of Grey + Unrated (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 Unrated (MA/4K) $4.75
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9.75
Five Feet Apart (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Flash, The (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Flatliners (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Forever Purge (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Fruitvale Station (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Fury (2014) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Future World (2018) (Vudu/HD) $4
Gamer (2009) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Gangs of New York (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Garfield (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Gate, The (1987) (Vudu/SD) $3.75
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters (1984) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (MA/HD) $3.50
Gifted (2017) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $2.25
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) (MA/HD) $6
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $6.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) (MA/4K) $4
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Grace Unplugged (2013) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Gran Turismo (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (MA/HD) $3.75
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Grey, The (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Grown Ups 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Grudge (2020) (MA/HD) $6.50
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Hands of Stone (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hateful Eight (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2
Heaven is for Real (2014) (MA/HD) $2.50
Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Hitman (Unrated) (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Hobbs & Shaw (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Holiday Inn (1942) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Holiday, The (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) (MA/HD) $3.50
Home Alone Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6.50
Hook (1991) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hop (2011) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Hope Springs (2012) (MA/HD) $2.25
Hot Fuzz (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Hotel Transylvania Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $16
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of Gucci (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5
How High (2001) (MA/HD) $6.50
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7.50
Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age (2002) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ice Age Collection 1-5 (MA/SD) $16
Identity Thief (2013) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
If I Stay (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Impossible, The (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Incredibles (2004) (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Independence Day: Resurgence (2014) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Indiana Jones Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Inferno (2016) (MA/HD) $3
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Insidious: The Red Door (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Instructions Not Included (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Iron Man 1-3 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Iron Man 3 (2013) (iTunes/4K) $3 (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jason X (2001) (MA/HD) $6
Jaws (1975) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15.50
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Jerry Maguire (1996) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Jingle All the Way (1996) (MA/HD) $6
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $16 (iTunes/4K) $14.50 (Vudu/HD) $8
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50
Jumanji (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Karate Kid (1984) (MA/4K) $6.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25
Zookeeper's Wife, The (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
submitted by wtfwafflezor to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]
Disney/Marvel titles are split codes. Only redeem what you pay for. Thank you.
1917 (2019) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3
355, The (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
65 (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25
A Bug's Life (1998) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
A Man Called Otto (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
A Monster Calls (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
A Most Wanted Man (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
A Quiet Place (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
A Simple Favor (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
A United Kingdom (2016) (MA/HD) $5
A Vigilante (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Abominable (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Ad Astra (2019) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25
Addams Family 2 (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Adventures of Tintin (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014) (MA/HD) $4.75
Alien Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $19.50
Aliens (1986) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6
Aloha (2015) (MA/HD) $2.50
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (2009) (MA/HD) $5.50
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (MA/HD) $4
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $5
Ambulance (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Assassin (2017) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
American Gangster (Extended Edition) (2007) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $5.75
American Hustle (2013) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Underdog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Amsterdam (2022) (MA/HD) $4.75
Angel Has Fallen (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Angel of Mine (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Angels & Demons (2009) (MA/4K) $6.50
Anna (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Antlers (2021) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.50
Ant-Man (2015) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Apocalypse Now (Theatrical, Redux & Final Cut) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Arnold Schwarzenegger 6-Movie (Vudu/HD) $13.50
Art of Racing in The Rain (MA/HD) $5.25
As Good As It Gets (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Asteroid City (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Avengers Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $20 (GP/HD) $7.75
Babylon (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Bad Boys Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
Bad Times at The El Royale (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Barbie (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Batman, The (2022) (MA/4K) $4
Battleship (2012) (MA/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Baywatch (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Beast (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Begin Again (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Belfast (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Ben-Hur (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Between Worlds (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Beyond the Reach (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Big (1988) (MA/HD) $6
Big George Foreman (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Hero 6 (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Big Lebowski (1998) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Short (2015) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Black Adam (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25
Black And Blue (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Black Panther (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Black Widow (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
BlacKkKlansman (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $3.50
Blindspotting (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Blood Father (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Blue Bayou (2021) (MA/HD) $6
Blue Beetle (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Blumhouse's The Craft: Legacy (2020) (MA/HD) $7
Bolt (2008) (MA/HD) $7.25
Bond: Spectre (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Book of Life (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Book Thief (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75
Boss Baby (2017) & Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $14
Breach (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Breaking In (Unrated) (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Brian Banks (2019) (MA/HD) $3.50
Bridesmaids (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
Bridge of Spies (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Brightburn (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.75
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Candyman (2020) (MA/HD) $4.75
Captain America: Civil War (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Phillips (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
Cars 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $15.50 (GP/HD) $9
Central Intelligence (Unrated) (MA/4K) $6.50
Charlie's Angels (2000) (MA/4K) $6.50
Chasing Amy (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Cinderella 'Camila Cabello' (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Clerks II (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.50
Collateral (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Come Play (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Commuter (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Conan The Barbarian (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5
Contractor (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Copshop (2021) (MA/HD) $6.75
Counselor (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Countdown (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $3
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6.25
Croods (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Cruella (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Da Vinci Code (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Crystal (1982) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dead Man Down (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.75
Deadpool 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Death Wish (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Despicable Me Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12.50
Devil's Due (2014) (MA/HD) $3
Devotion (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Die Another Day (2002) (Vudu/HD) $7
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Dirty Dancing (1987) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
DisneyNature: Monkey Kingdom (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Django Unchained (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Doorman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Downsizing (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. No (1962) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $5
Draft Day (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Dragonheart Collection 1-5 (MA/HD) $14
Dredd (2012) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Drive (2011) (MA/HD) $5
Dumb Money (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) (Vudu/HD) $5
El Mariachi (1993) (MA/HD) $6.50
Elemental (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $5
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Equalizer 3 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Eternals (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead Rise (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Exorcist: Believer (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5
F9: The Fast Saga + Director's Cut (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fall (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Fantasia (1940) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fantasia 2000 (2000) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fast & Furious Collection 1-10 (MA/4K) $28
Fast & Furious Collection 1-8 (MA/4K) $23 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast X (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.25
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Fault in Our Stars (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Fifty Shades of Grey + Unrated (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 Unrated (MA/4K) $4.75
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9.75
Five Feet Apart (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Flash, The (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Flatliners (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Forever Purge (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Fruitvale Station (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Fury (2014) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Future World (2018) (Vudu/HD) $4
Gamer (2009) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Gangs of New York (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Garfield (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Gate, The (1987) (Vudu/SD) $3.75
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters (1984) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (MA/HD) $3.50
Gifted (2017) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $2.25
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) (MA/HD) $6
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $6.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) (MA/4K) $4
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Grace Unplugged (2013) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Gran Turismo (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (MA/HD) $3.75
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Grey, The (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Grown Ups 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Grudge (2020) (MA/HD) $6.50
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Hands of Stone (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hateful Eight (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2
Heaven is for Real (2014) (MA/HD) $2.50
Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Hitman (Unrated) (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Hobbs & Shaw (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Holiday Inn (1942) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Holiday, The (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) (MA/HD) $3.50
Home Alone Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6.50
Hook (1991) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hop (2011) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Hope Springs (2012) (MA/HD) $2.25
Hot Fuzz (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Hotel Transylvania Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $16
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of Gucci (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5
How High (2001) (MA/HD) $6.50
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7.50
Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age (2002) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ice Age Collection 1-5 (MA/SD) $16
Identity Thief (2013) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
If I Stay (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Impossible, The (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Incredibles (2004) (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Independence Day: Resurgence (2014) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Indiana Jones Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Inferno (2016) (MA/HD) $3
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Insidious: The Red Door (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Instructions Not Included (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Iron Man 1-3 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Iron Man 3 (2013) (iTunes/4K) $3 (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jason X (2001) (MA/HD) $6
Jaws (1975) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15.50
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Jerry Maguire (1996) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Jingle All the Way (1996) (MA/HD) $6
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $16 (iTunes/4K) $14.50 (Vudu/HD) $8
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50
Jumanji (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Karate Kid (1984) (MA/4K) $6.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25
Zookeeper's Wife, The (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
2024.05.15 03:01 ThrowRA_Lopsidd_Exit Do I '33M' owe my partner '32F' support through an abortion that I don't want?
I never thought that I would be in this circumstance but the pill isn't a safe bet folks.
My partner and I have been dating for nearly two years and she is the love of my life. She's my best friend and I have never been in a relationship that felt this easy or fulfilling before. But, we don't agree on having kids. For me, parenthood is the point of existence to the extent there is one. I can't imagine myself not being a Dad one day. While I am so happy now, I worry about how childless me will feel at 43, 53, 63, etc.
On dating apps she had her preference listed as "maybe one day." Early on in our relationship we broached the topic and she expressed some hesitancy (her divorced parents, concerns about the effect it would have on her body as an athlete, etc) but said that maybe she could wrap her head around it and to give her some time. For the next 18 months we essentially avoided the topic of children at all costs.
Fast forward to this weekend when out of the blue I find out that she is pregnant. She is ADAMANT about aborting the fetus. I learn that she has been thinking about parenthood a lot since our first conversation, and the thought leaves her with a sense of profound dread. She is worried she will harbor resentment towards me if I "baby trap her." I have never been in a better position in life to have a kid. I have super flexible hours at work, I make great money, daycare or an in-home nanny would not be an issue at all. I would love nothing more than to put a ring on this woman's finger and lock it down. I plead with her to think about carrying the pregnancy to term but she is truly a brick wall about it, it's no use.
I am upset but ultimately know that this is her decision to make. I tell her so but also explain that this has to be the end of our relationship since we have such fundamentally different goals in life. I basically try to cut things off entirely.
She is really upset with me and thinks it's unfair of me not to separate "the issue" from our relationship as a whole. She thinks I owe it to her to be with her and provide her support through the abortion, before ultimately moving on if that's what I decide to do.
Is she right? Do I owe it to her to support her and stand by her side this weekend while she bleeds? I know that she is struggling right now but I worry that it will traumatize me too.
To complicate things, she doesn't live with me on paper but practically she does....she Airbnb's her house and it's booked for like the next 6 weekends straight.
Fuck I'm dying guys, thanks for your help.
submitted by ThrowRA_Lopsidd_Exit to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My partner and I have been dating for nearly two years and she is the love of my life. She's my best friend and I have never been in a relationship that felt this easy or fulfilling before. But, we don't agree on having kids. For me, parenthood is the point of existence to the extent there is one. I can't imagine myself not being a Dad one day. While I am so happy now, I worry about how childless me will feel at 43, 53, 63, etc.
On dating apps she had her preference listed as "maybe one day." Early on in our relationship we broached the topic and she expressed some hesitancy (her divorced parents, concerns about the effect it would have on her body as an athlete, etc) but said that maybe she could wrap her head around it and to give her some time. For the next 18 months we essentially avoided the topic of children at all costs.
Fast forward to this weekend when out of the blue I find out that she is pregnant. She is ADAMANT about aborting the fetus. I learn that she has been thinking about parenthood a lot since our first conversation, and the thought leaves her with a sense of profound dread. She is worried she will harbor resentment towards me if I "baby trap her." I have never been in a better position in life to have a kid. I have super flexible hours at work, I make great money, daycare or an in-home nanny would not be an issue at all. I would love nothing more than to put a ring on this woman's finger and lock it down. I plead with her to think about carrying the pregnancy to term but she is truly a brick wall about it, it's no use.
I am upset but ultimately know that this is her decision to make. I tell her so but also explain that this has to be the end of our relationship since we have such fundamentally different goals in life. I basically try to cut things off entirely.
She is really upset with me and thinks it's unfair of me not to separate "the issue" from our relationship as a whole. She thinks I owe it to her to be with her and provide her support through the abortion, before ultimately moving on if that's what I decide to do.
Is she right? Do I owe it to her to support her and stand by her side this weekend while she bleeds? I know that she is struggling right now but I worry that it will traumatize me too.
To complicate things, she doesn't live with me on paper but practically she does....she Airbnb's her house and it's booked for like the next 6 weekends straight.
Fuck I'm dying guys, thanks for your help.
2024.05.15 02:53 Pix0l3r I think having sex after a long time cured my patchy beard
Pretty much self explanatory.
To make it a short post I won't get too deep into it.
Basically I (M20) have been rather hairless when it comes to growing a beard, and not really a hairy guy all over except for a rather impressive head and pubic hair growth-rate.
Im not really sure if this is a universal experience among males but it seemed quite rare given I'd seen contemporary peers of mine grow the equivalent of a corporate beard with no patching. I asked, and obviously googled and was discouraged when encountered with the typical explanation of underlying diseases or hormonal disorders.
Either way, this could be a possibility since I'd say I'm rather low on the masculinity scale (not a big fan of sports, rather calm and not normally in the mood for competing) although at first I didn't want to quite pin it down to testosterone since I had fairly decent developing chest hair and Sagittal line in the abdomen, along with a sexually active and accomplished relationship.
Since that relationship ended, I did notice the low testosterone a lot more, then this year, after approximately 14 months of no sex, I met this girl and immediately felt so much of that energy back. It was like, FUCK where was all this energy for the last year? We instantly hit the ground running and coming onto my 20th birthday we slept together. It's been some weeks since then and it's like a honeymoon now (guess it's the start of the relationship).
But coming back to topic, ever since I met this girl all the bald spots in my facial hair began growing!
Could it be all I needed was to bounce back to life after a heartbreak to actually get my man act together?
I'm pretty happy now :)
TL;DR: OP got laid and grew a beard, off to chop trees and build a kingdom.
submitted by Pix0l3r to BeardTalk [link] [comments]
To make it a short post I won't get too deep into it.
Basically I (M20) have been rather hairless when it comes to growing a beard, and not really a hairy guy all over except for a rather impressive head and pubic hair growth-rate.
Im not really sure if this is a universal experience among males but it seemed quite rare given I'd seen contemporary peers of mine grow the equivalent of a corporate beard with no patching. I asked, and obviously googled and was discouraged when encountered with the typical explanation of underlying diseases or hormonal disorders.
Either way, this could be a possibility since I'd say I'm rather low on the masculinity scale (not a big fan of sports, rather calm and not normally in the mood for competing) although at first I didn't want to quite pin it down to testosterone since I had fairly decent developing chest hair and Sagittal line in the abdomen, along with a sexually active and accomplished relationship.
Since that relationship ended, I did notice the low testosterone a lot more, then this year, after approximately 14 months of no sex, I met this girl and immediately felt so much of that energy back. It was like, FUCK where was all this energy for the last year? We instantly hit the ground running and coming onto my 20th birthday we slept together. It's been some weeks since then and it's like a honeymoon now (guess it's the start of the relationship).
But coming back to topic, ever since I met this girl all the bald spots in my facial hair began growing!
Could it be all I needed was to bounce back to life after a heartbreak to actually get my man act together?
I'm pretty happy now :)
TL;DR: OP got laid and grew a beard, off to chop trees and build a kingdom.
2024.05.15 02:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 02:49 Professional-Time-59 (Repost) type me please!
Sorry this might be a little long. I tried to be as detailed as possible!
Hello! I am 20 years old and a female. I’m not very big on socializing and tend to be pretty introverted, not because I hate people but because it usually is exhausting for me. I try to look out for people and don’t like to tell anyone about my problems or feelings; I am also someone who cares a lot about people but doesn’t normally voice it, but would rather show it through gifts or acts of service. I like to pay attention to the details of things and people, and I often have a weird feeling that I can “predict” people or know how they will be/are… and so far, I’ve usually been right. I have a strong moral code and will always advocate for the underdog. I think deeply about things and tend to have a lot of empathy. I experience things and feel that I also think of things differently than most people. I have a hard time explaining my thoughts, but I’ll do my best!
I don’t have any kind of mental diagnosis that could affect my mental stability.
My upbringing was actually very positive. My family has been big on religion since I was born, but it’s something that I take comfort in and agree with. It brings purpose to my life and helps me to be the person I am. I have two parents who love me and take care of me, and younger siblings that I love dearly. I have cousins who double as my friends, aunts and uncles who have me over all the time, and grandparents that I love so, so much. Having many younger siblings did tend to get lonely at times, especially when they were younger, but it taught me independence and I do my best to take care of them. I count myself as extremely fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.
As a job, I currently work as a barista. To be honest, I don’t really like it very much. My coworkers are very nice and I get along well with them, and I also like a lot of our regular customers, but my manager makes it a very toxic and negative environment that simply goes against my moral code. I also dislike the fact that most people that I see, I only see them in passing. I’d rather have few deep, meaningful connections that many shallow connections, if that makes any sense? I do enjoy the idea of getting to make people’s days, and I like to encourage the bashful people and love seeing sweet children, too! Both customers and coworkers tend to tell me personal stories, and I really enjoy getting to know them truly and seeing what makes them the way they are. I also tend to think sometimes that I feel a higher calling. I want to be somewhere truly helping people. I feel that I need to make a difference and positively influence people.
Spending an entire weekend by myself would be nice. I don’t NEED human contact, and can generally entertain myself without becoming bored. I do, however, find it a little depressing when it’s TOO quiet, especially since I grew up with my environment being everything but quiet. Normally, I like being near people, especially if I’m not even talking to them. Just sharing the space with someone is comforting enough for me! Overall, though, I do need to be alone frequently and tend to run away from life sometimes throughout the day. I would probably find a weekend alone to be really refreshing, so I could connect with myself and not other people.
I prefer activities where you work alone. I like to bake a lot, especially because it makes me happy when people enjoy the things I’ve made! I greatly enjoy sharing my food. I also like to read and can also write, as they both provide me with the an escape from reality at times. My favorite parts about both is understanding and connecting with the characters in the stories. If I have a favorite character, I like to think about what they think about and how they interact with the world. I feel like it’s something most people would find mundane, but I could do it all day! I enjoy being outdoors and connecting with nature, but I don’t particularly enjoy sports.
I tend to be very curious about many things. I like to know how people work. Not normally objects, but people. I find psychology to be extremely interesting, and could spend hours watching true crime investigations. If I see a stray cat, I wonder how it feels and what it has experienced. When I see a person who is upset, I wonder what happened to cause it and how I can help. I can normally tell quickly when something is wrong, and I am usually good at figuring out what I can do to help and am able to read people to understand the best ways to comfort them. It makes sense thinking that in my head, but writing it down sure makes it seem confusing!
Taking a leadership position is not my preferred route. If it falls down to me, I certainly would try hard to make sure the people working under me are happy. I’d rather make the people around my happy than the company itself. I’d like to be an advocate for their rights and happiness if anything was unfair, and I would like for us to be a “team” rather than simply a workplace. I’d like everyone to have fun at work and feel like friends and family. I know the world doesn’t work that way, but I can certainly dream, right?
In terms of coordination, I feel that I’m in the middle. I’d rather play video games than any kind of sport. I don’t have the best balance or coordination, and I don’t typically do things that involve having a good sense of either.
I feel that I am typically artistic, and have a great appreciation for art. I’m not great at drawing, but I like to write a lot. I also think it feels nice to express yourself through music. I’ve done pottery and would like to start learning to crochet. I enjoy looking at certain arts, such as music and books. My favorite art in terms of drawing is abstract art. I love thinking of the endless possibilities of what it could mean, and also wonder how the artist felt when drawing the piece.
The past doesn’t typically have meaning to me. I can be sentimental about certain things at times, but I typically focus my energy mostly on the future. I do things in my present life to prepare for the future, and I have a positive outlook on the future. I don’t like to think of the things that I find unpleasant now, because I believe in a good, happy future where the things that currently bother me will no longer be able to affect me.
I typically will jump at the opportunity to help someone, especially if they are in my family. I do my best to make people’s days, and I try to be of service as best as I can. I used to be unable to say “no”, but I have since learned to enforce boundaries and would never do something that goes against my moral code. If I have a lot on my plate and someone asks me to do something for them, I will typically tell them that I will help them when I can or if I have the time.
Logical consistency is something that I find important, but I wouldn’t mind making exceptions for certain things. I take comfort in knowing that certain outcomes will always remain the same, as I get nervous sometimes when things are unknown. Since I normally can predict what will happen with certain people or events based on prior experience, I find it both interesting and disturbing when the outcome is different.
Efficiency and productivity are not my top priorities, but I do find them important. I like to be efficient in the things I do, but I will not go out of my way to find the “best” way to do something. I like to stay a little productive so that I don’t feel as if I haven’t done anything, but I am perfectly fine with sitting around doing nothing, too. It’s peaceful. I don’t like being in a rush.
Controlling others is something I never do on purpose, but I will admit I can manipulate sometimes. I would never negatively impact someone on purpose, but I am able to manipulate a situation if I find something to be unfair. I’m especially able to do this with the way my mind sees connections between people and things, as well as the way I see into other people’s minds and understand their feelings and actions. It sounds scary but I promise, I mean no harm! :)
Hobbies I enjoy include baking, playing video games, watching videos, writing/reading, and just being around people! I like to share the things I bake, and video games are fun because I can enjoy them alone or with my family. Playing games and watching videos, whether alone or with others, is fun and stimulating for my brain in all the right ways! I much prefer to write over speak, as I feel I can convey things better and express myself through writing. Reading allows me to look into the minds of other people and I think it’s just so fun.
Learning environments are something I normally can adapt to. Whether a teacher is strict or laid back, I am normally able to perform the same way. I can understand each side and typically earn the favor of teachers no matter their teaching styles. I tend to thrive better in environments where things are on a straight path, but I do like to express myself through various pieces of writing when possible.
When I have a project, I would much prefer to start it quickly and finish it as soon as possible. I don’t typically “wing” anything, although I won’t be torn up if something doesn’t go exactly according to plan. I’d rather break things up into manageable tasks and prefer to work alone. I strategize pretty well, but for the most part, I use the strategy as a guideline and like to be creative here and there.
My aspirations are to connect with and help people. I feel a calling to do something and be somewhere that I can help people and understand them. I want to make a difference. I want to be a part of people’s passions and learn their dreams. I want to know the mundane things about them. I want to learn, but I mainly want to help.
I fear being left and not needed. I also fear being taken advantage of and manipulated. I feel that I need to work hard in order to compensate for these things. I also greatly fear having no one to turn to. Being alone is nice, but being lonely is my worst nightmare.
The highs in my life are when I can be around people who don’t drain me. That good feeling after someone tells you you’ve made their day. That feeling you get after you and your family beat the level of the game you’ve been working hard at. The feeling after you look around at your clean room. The feeling after you finally quit that toxic job, or the feeling after someone eats the food you’ve made them. For me, all of those things paired with thinking about and understanding someone’s thoughts and intentions make me happy. They stimulate my brain, and give me that “AHA!” moment.
Lows in my life typically include feeling helpless. I hate when you don’t know how to assist someone, or when all you can do is sit with them. I also hate when people are cruel for no reason. I advocate for justice according to my moral code and I stand up for people as well as what I feel is right. I hate when I think I could have done something better. When I’m upset, I become pessimistic and tend to isolate myself. I hate being stuck with individuals who are unfeeling, uncaring, or narcissistic.
I tend to daydream more than I partake in reality. I have a hard time focusing on what is in front of me, and I like to think more on the hypotheticals. I daydream and think in order to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me, but it causes me to miss some of the simple things right in front of me.
Being alone in a blank, empty room would cause me to think about a lot of things. I would probably think of how to improve myself. I might think of birthday gifts for people, or the next thing I want to cook. I could think of nostalgic things, or the problems I am currently facing in my life. I think I would mostly think on self improvement and the interactions I’ve seen between people.
Making decisions is sometimes hard for me. I normally will go with what my gut tells me, unless there is an obvious logical choice. I tend to be indecisive sometimes, and like to make decisions quickly so I don’t have to think about them anymore. I don’t normally second guess decisions I’ve made.
Emotions are a big part of my life. I like to understand people’s thoughts and feelings, sometimes to the point where I will neglect my own. My own emotions can take me time to understand, but I can read most other people easily. I base my responses to things on how others are feeling.
Agreeing with others just to keep a conversation going is something that I find untruthful. If something goes against my personal moral code, I will either leave or change the subject. I will always kindly stand up for what I believe to be right. I tend to choose my battles, but I will never agree with something that I don’t believe in my heart.
Rules, to me, are made to be followed. Sometimes, I don’t mind bending them a little bit, but I do feel that most people should follow rules the majority of the time. I feel that rules keep things in order and are an important structure in certain places and environments.
submitted by Professional-Time-59 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
Hello! I am 20 years old and a female. I’m not very big on socializing and tend to be pretty introverted, not because I hate people but because it usually is exhausting for me. I try to look out for people and don’t like to tell anyone about my problems or feelings; I am also someone who cares a lot about people but doesn’t normally voice it, but would rather show it through gifts or acts of service. I like to pay attention to the details of things and people, and I often have a weird feeling that I can “predict” people or know how they will be/are… and so far, I’ve usually been right. I have a strong moral code and will always advocate for the underdog. I think deeply about things and tend to have a lot of empathy. I experience things and feel that I also think of things differently than most people. I have a hard time explaining my thoughts, but I’ll do my best!
I don’t have any kind of mental diagnosis that could affect my mental stability.
My upbringing was actually very positive. My family has been big on religion since I was born, but it’s something that I take comfort in and agree with. It brings purpose to my life and helps me to be the person I am. I have two parents who love me and take care of me, and younger siblings that I love dearly. I have cousins who double as my friends, aunts and uncles who have me over all the time, and grandparents that I love so, so much. Having many younger siblings did tend to get lonely at times, especially when they were younger, but it taught me independence and I do my best to take care of them. I count myself as extremely fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.
As a job, I currently work as a barista. To be honest, I don’t really like it very much. My coworkers are very nice and I get along well with them, and I also like a lot of our regular customers, but my manager makes it a very toxic and negative environment that simply goes against my moral code. I also dislike the fact that most people that I see, I only see them in passing. I’d rather have few deep, meaningful connections that many shallow connections, if that makes any sense? I do enjoy the idea of getting to make people’s days, and I like to encourage the bashful people and love seeing sweet children, too! Both customers and coworkers tend to tell me personal stories, and I really enjoy getting to know them truly and seeing what makes them the way they are. I also tend to think sometimes that I feel a higher calling. I want to be somewhere truly helping people. I feel that I need to make a difference and positively influence people.
Spending an entire weekend by myself would be nice. I don’t NEED human contact, and can generally entertain myself without becoming bored. I do, however, find it a little depressing when it’s TOO quiet, especially since I grew up with my environment being everything but quiet. Normally, I like being near people, especially if I’m not even talking to them. Just sharing the space with someone is comforting enough for me! Overall, though, I do need to be alone frequently and tend to run away from life sometimes throughout the day. I would probably find a weekend alone to be really refreshing, so I could connect with myself and not other people.
I prefer activities where you work alone. I like to bake a lot, especially because it makes me happy when people enjoy the things I’ve made! I greatly enjoy sharing my food. I also like to read and can also write, as they both provide me with the an escape from reality at times. My favorite parts about both is understanding and connecting with the characters in the stories. If I have a favorite character, I like to think about what they think about and how they interact with the world. I feel like it’s something most people would find mundane, but I could do it all day! I enjoy being outdoors and connecting with nature, but I don’t particularly enjoy sports.
I tend to be very curious about many things. I like to know how people work. Not normally objects, but people. I find psychology to be extremely interesting, and could spend hours watching true crime investigations. If I see a stray cat, I wonder how it feels and what it has experienced. When I see a person who is upset, I wonder what happened to cause it and how I can help. I can normally tell quickly when something is wrong, and I am usually good at figuring out what I can do to help and am able to read people to understand the best ways to comfort them. It makes sense thinking that in my head, but writing it down sure makes it seem confusing!
Taking a leadership position is not my preferred route. If it falls down to me, I certainly would try hard to make sure the people working under me are happy. I’d rather make the people around my happy than the company itself. I’d like to be an advocate for their rights and happiness if anything was unfair, and I would like for us to be a “team” rather than simply a workplace. I’d like everyone to have fun at work and feel like friends and family. I know the world doesn’t work that way, but I can certainly dream, right?
In terms of coordination, I feel that I’m in the middle. I’d rather play video games than any kind of sport. I don’t have the best balance or coordination, and I don’t typically do things that involve having a good sense of either.
I feel that I am typically artistic, and have a great appreciation for art. I’m not great at drawing, but I like to write a lot. I also think it feels nice to express yourself through music. I’ve done pottery and would like to start learning to crochet. I enjoy looking at certain arts, such as music and books. My favorite art in terms of drawing is abstract art. I love thinking of the endless possibilities of what it could mean, and also wonder how the artist felt when drawing the piece.
The past doesn’t typically have meaning to me. I can be sentimental about certain things at times, but I typically focus my energy mostly on the future. I do things in my present life to prepare for the future, and I have a positive outlook on the future. I don’t like to think of the things that I find unpleasant now, because I believe in a good, happy future where the things that currently bother me will no longer be able to affect me.
I typically will jump at the opportunity to help someone, especially if they are in my family. I do my best to make people’s days, and I try to be of service as best as I can. I used to be unable to say “no”, but I have since learned to enforce boundaries and would never do something that goes against my moral code. If I have a lot on my plate and someone asks me to do something for them, I will typically tell them that I will help them when I can or if I have the time.
Logical consistency is something that I find important, but I wouldn’t mind making exceptions for certain things. I take comfort in knowing that certain outcomes will always remain the same, as I get nervous sometimes when things are unknown. Since I normally can predict what will happen with certain people or events based on prior experience, I find it both interesting and disturbing when the outcome is different.
Efficiency and productivity are not my top priorities, but I do find them important. I like to be efficient in the things I do, but I will not go out of my way to find the “best” way to do something. I like to stay a little productive so that I don’t feel as if I haven’t done anything, but I am perfectly fine with sitting around doing nothing, too. It’s peaceful. I don’t like being in a rush.
Controlling others is something I never do on purpose, but I will admit I can manipulate sometimes. I would never negatively impact someone on purpose, but I am able to manipulate a situation if I find something to be unfair. I’m especially able to do this with the way my mind sees connections between people and things, as well as the way I see into other people’s minds and understand their feelings and actions. It sounds scary but I promise, I mean no harm! :)
Hobbies I enjoy include baking, playing video games, watching videos, writing/reading, and just being around people! I like to share the things I bake, and video games are fun because I can enjoy them alone or with my family. Playing games and watching videos, whether alone or with others, is fun and stimulating for my brain in all the right ways! I much prefer to write over speak, as I feel I can convey things better and express myself through writing. Reading allows me to look into the minds of other people and I think it’s just so fun.
Learning environments are something I normally can adapt to. Whether a teacher is strict or laid back, I am normally able to perform the same way. I can understand each side and typically earn the favor of teachers no matter their teaching styles. I tend to thrive better in environments where things are on a straight path, but I do like to express myself through various pieces of writing when possible.
When I have a project, I would much prefer to start it quickly and finish it as soon as possible. I don’t typically “wing” anything, although I won’t be torn up if something doesn’t go exactly according to plan. I’d rather break things up into manageable tasks and prefer to work alone. I strategize pretty well, but for the most part, I use the strategy as a guideline and like to be creative here and there.
My aspirations are to connect with and help people. I feel a calling to do something and be somewhere that I can help people and understand them. I want to make a difference. I want to be a part of people’s passions and learn their dreams. I want to know the mundane things about them. I want to learn, but I mainly want to help.
I fear being left and not needed. I also fear being taken advantage of and manipulated. I feel that I need to work hard in order to compensate for these things. I also greatly fear having no one to turn to. Being alone is nice, but being lonely is my worst nightmare.
The highs in my life are when I can be around people who don’t drain me. That good feeling after someone tells you you’ve made their day. That feeling you get after you and your family beat the level of the game you’ve been working hard at. The feeling after you look around at your clean room. The feeling after you finally quit that toxic job, or the feeling after someone eats the food you’ve made them. For me, all of those things paired with thinking about and understanding someone’s thoughts and intentions make me happy. They stimulate my brain, and give me that “AHA!” moment.
Lows in my life typically include feeling helpless. I hate when you don’t know how to assist someone, or when all you can do is sit with them. I also hate when people are cruel for no reason. I advocate for justice according to my moral code and I stand up for people as well as what I feel is right. I hate when I think I could have done something better. When I’m upset, I become pessimistic and tend to isolate myself. I hate being stuck with individuals who are unfeeling, uncaring, or narcissistic.
I tend to daydream more than I partake in reality. I have a hard time focusing on what is in front of me, and I like to think more on the hypotheticals. I daydream and think in order to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me, but it causes me to miss some of the simple things right in front of me.
Being alone in a blank, empty room would cause me to think about a lot of things. I would probably think of how to improve myself. I might think of birthday gifts for people, or the next thing I want to cook. I could think of nostalgic things, or the problems I am currently facing in my life. I think I would mostly think on self improvement and the interactions I’ve seen between people.
Making decisions is sometimes hard for me. I normally will go with what my gut tells me, unless there is an obvious logical choice. I tend to be indecisive sometimes, and like to make decisions quickly so I don’t have to think about them anymore. I don’t normally second guess decisions I’ve made.
Emotions are a big part of my life. I like to understand people’s thoughts and feelings, sometimes to the point where I will neglect my own. My own emotions can take me time to understand, but I can read most other people easily. I base my responses to things on how others are feeling.
Agreeing with others just to keep a conversation going is something that I find untruthful. If something goes against my personal moral code, I will either leave or change the subject. I will always kindly stand up for what I believe to be right. I tend to choose my battles, but I will never agree with something that I don’t believe in my heart.
Rules, to me, are made to be followed. Sometimes, I don’t mind bending them a little bit, but I do feel that most people should follow rules the majority of the time. I feel that rules keep things in order and are an important structure in certain places and environments.
2024.05.15 02:46 hageiiiiii Happy birthday Roland and happy anniversary for Library of Ruina!
 | submitted by hageiiiiii to libraryofruina [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 02:45 hageiiiiii Happy birthday Roland and happy anniversary for Library of Ruina!
| | As you guys may or may not know, May 15th is LoR release date, which is also Roland's birthday submitted by hageiiiiii to limbuscompany [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 02:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Breakfast in Fayetteville Ar
 | Best Breakfast in Fayetteville Ar Are you craving a mouthwatering breakfast in Fayetteville, AR?Look no further! We've done the legwork and found the absolute best spots to satisfy your morning hunger.From the enticing aromas of artisan bakeries like Little Bread Company and The Farmers Table Cafe, to the classic American diners like Rolling Pin Cafe, we've got you covered.And for all you coffee lovers out there, Jammin Java and Arsagas Church & Center offer a delightful selection of freshly brewed blends.Join us on this culinary adventure through Fayetteville's finest breakfast spots!Key TakeawaysFayetteville, Arkansas offers a diverse selection of breakfast options, ranging from artisan bakeries to farm-to-table restaurants.Many of the breakfast establishments in Fayetteville focus on using fresh, locally-sourced ingredients, providing a farm-to-table experience.The breakfast menus in Fayetteville cater to a variety of dietary preferences, with options such as gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan-friendly dishes.The atmosphere of the breakfast establishments in Fayetteville varies, from relaxed and cozy cafes to upscale and stylish restaurants.Little Bread CompanyWe love going to Little Bread Company for their delicious pastries and friendly service. When it comes to breakfast in Fayetteville, AR, this artisan bakery is definitely one of the best. From the moment you step inside, you'll be greeted by the delightful aroma of freshly baked goods. The display case is filled with an array of tempting pastries, from flaky croissants to decadent cinnamon rolls. And let me tell you, they taste as good as they look.But it's not just the pastries that keep us coming back. The staff at Little Bread Company is always warm and welcoming, making you feel right at home. They're happy to answer any questions you may have and offer recommendations if you're not sure what to order. And trust me, you can't go wrong with anything on the menu. Whether you're in the mood for a hearty breakfast sandwich or a lighter option like their yogurt parfait, everything is made with care and attention to detail.The Farmers Table CafeLet's try the renowned Farmers Table Cafe for a delicious farm-to-table breakfast experience. This eatery is known for its commitment to using fresh, locally-sourced ingredients, ensuring that each dish is bursting with flavor and nutritional value. As soon as you step inside, you'll be greeted by a warm and rustic ambiance that perfectly complements the farm-to-table concept.The menu at the Farmers Table Cafe is a true testament to their dedication to quality. From the Morning Mushroom Mash to the Arkansawyer specialty, there's a wide range of options to satisfy every palate. What sets this cafe apart is their attention to dietary restrictions, with gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan-friendly options readily available.Whether you choose to dine in the country-style dining area or enjoy your meal on the outdoor deck, you can expect exceptional service from the accommodating staff. They're always ready to provide recommendations and ensure that your dining experience is nothing short of extraordinary.At the Farmers Table Cafe, you can rest assured that you aren't only enjoying a delicious breakfast but also supporting local farmers and businesses. The use of fresh, locally-sourced ingredients not only enhances the flavor of each dish but also contributes to the sustainability of the community.Rolling Pin CafeRolling Pin Cafe is a hidden gem in Fayetteville, offering a lively atmosphere with simplistic decorations that add to its charm.The highlight of this cafe is the customizable breakfast platters, allowing you to create your perfect morning meal. Whether you prefer a hearty combination of eggs, bacon, and hash browns or a lighter option with fresh fruit and yogurt, Rolling Pin Cafe has something for everyone.Customizable Breakfast PlattersI love how the Rolling Pin Cafe offers customizable breakfast platters to cater to our individual preferences. It's great to have the freedom to choose exactly what I want on my plate. The variety of options allows me to create a breakfast that suits my taste and dietary needs. Whether I'm in the mood for a hearty omelet loaded with veggies and cheese or a lighter combination of fresh fruit and yogurt, the Rolling Pin Cafe has me covered. The customizable breakfast platters are a game changer for me, as I can always find something that satisfies my cravings. It's refreshing to have a restaurant that puts the power in my hands and allows me to create the perfect breakfast experience.Customizable Breakfast PlattersChoose your eggsSelect your meatPick your toppingsScrambledBaconCheeseFriedSausageAvocadoPoachedHamSpinachTurkeyMushroomsVegetarianOnionsThe Rolling Pin Cafe's commitment to customization sets it apart from other breakfast spots in Fayetteville. It's a place where I can truly make my breakfast my own. The ability to choose my eggs, meat, and toppings creates a unique and personalized dining experience. I appreciate that the Rolling Pin Cafe understands that everyone has different tastes and dietary preferences. The customizable breakfast platters allow me to start my day off on the right foot, with a meal that is tailored to my liking. But it's not just the food that makes the Rolling Pin Cafe special. The lively atmosphere, with its simplistic decorations, adds to the overall dining experience.Lively Atmosphere With DecorationsWe can enjoy the lively atmosphere at the Rolling Pin Cafe with its charming decorations and feel a sense of excitement. As soon as we walk through the doors, we're greeted by the sounds of laughter and the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee. The walls are adorned with vintage signs and photographs, giving the place a nostalgic feel. The staff is friendly and attentive, always ready to recommend their favorite dishes.We can't resist ordering the One Meat Rolling Pin, a hearty breakfast platter that satisfies our cravings. And for coffee lovers, the John Wayne omelet is a must-try, packed with savory ingredients that pair perfectly with a cup of their fresh fruit juice. With its vibrant atmosphere and delicious food, the Rolling Pin Cafe is a true gem in Fayetteville.Speaking of coffee, let's move on to discuss the next hotspot in town - Jammin Java.Jammin JavaJammin Java is a delightful coffee house and restaurant that has been a staple in Fayetteville since 2002.We love the laid-back ambiance and the personable staff who always make us feel welcome.But what really sets Jammin Java apart is their health-conscious menu options and the wide assortment of freshly baked goods that are sure to satisfy any craving.Health-Conscious Menu OptionsThe health-conscious menu options at Jammin Java offer a wide assortment of freshly baked goods and nutritious eats to satisfy our cravings.From their Breakfast Bowl, filled with a hearty mix of scrambled eggs, quinoa, avocado, and fresh vegetables, to their Cisco Kid Sandwich, stacked with lean turkey, avocado, spinach, and tomato on whole grain bread, they've something for everyone looking to fuel their day with wholesome ingredients.What sets Jammin Java apart is their commitment to using high-quality, locally sourced ingredients, ensuring that each dish isn't only delicious but also good for you.Whether you're in the mood for a quick and nutritious bite or a leisurely meal, Jammin Java is the perfect spot to indulge in guilt-free dining.Variety of Freshly Baked GoodsI'm excited to explore the mouthwatering variety of freshly baked goods at Jammin Java. This delightful coffee house and restaurant, established in 2002, offers a laid-back ambiance and personable staff.As soon as you step inside, the aroma of freshly baked goods fills the air, enticing your taste buds. From flaky croissants to decadent muffins, Jammin Java has something for everyone. Whether you're in the mood for a classic chocolate chip cookie or a warm cinnamon roll, you won't be disappointed.They also have a selection of health-conscious eats, like their popular Breakfast Bowl and Cisco Kid Sandwich. So, whether you're looking for a quick bite or a leisurely breakfast, Jammin Java is the place to go for a delicious assortment of freshly baked goods.First WatchWe love First Watch's brightly lit interior and lively vibe, offering a menu that caters to our special diets and includes a juice bar. As soon as we walk in, we're greeted with a warm and inviting atmosphere. The restaurant is filled with natural light, creating a bright and cheerful ambiance that instantly puts us in a positive mood. The lively energy of the place is contagious, with customers chatting and enjoying their meals, creating a bustling and vibrant atmosphere.When it comes to the menu, First Watch doesn't disappoint. They offer a wide range of options that cater to different dietary needs and preferences. Whether you're gluten-free, dairy-free, or vegan, there's something for everyone. We appreciate the attention to detail and the effort put into creating dishes that aren't only delicious but also mindful of our dietary restrictions.One of the highlights of First Watch is their juice bar. They offer a variety of fresh juices and smoothies that are packed with nutrients and bursting with flavor. It's the perfect way to start the day on a healthy note or to refresh and recharge during a mid-morning break.Overall, First Watch is a fantastic breakfast spot that delivers on both taste and variety. The brightly lit interior and lively vibe create a pleasant dining experience, while the menu caters to our special diets and includes a juice bar for added freshness. It's a place where we can indulge in a delicious meal without compromising our dietary needs.Prelude Breakfast BarAs patrons of Prelude Breakfast Bar, we can't resist the mouthwatering aroma of their pancakes as we eagerly peruse the colorfully plated dishes and sip on various coffee blends. The creative brunch cocktails add an extra level of excitement to our dining experience. Prelude Breakfast Bar is known for their tasty pancakes, and they certainly live up to the hype. The "This is Sin" pancake is a sinful delight, with layers of fluffy pancake, rich chocolate ganache, and sweet caramel sauce. For those who crave a nostalgic treat, the "Milk & Cereal" flapjacks are a must-try, topped with a generous sprinkle of your favorite childhood cereal.Here is a table to compare Prelude Breakfast Bar with other notable breakfast spots in Fayetteville:Restaurant NameSpecialty DishPrelude Breakfast BarThis is Sin pancake, Milk & Cereal flapjacksLittle Bread CompanyVariety of pastries to compliment your coffeeThe Farmers Table CafeMorning Mushroom Mash, Arkansawyer specialtyRolling Pin CafeOne Meat Rolling Pin, John Wayne omeletJammin JavaBreakfast Bowl, Cisco Kid SandwichFirst WatchBarbacoa Quesadilla Benedict, Parma HashPrelude Breakfast Bar stands out with their delectable pancake creations and vibrant presentation. The combination of flavors and textures in their dishes is truly remarkable. Whether you're a fan of classic pancakes or enjoy exploring unique flavor combinations, Prelude Breakfast Bar is the place to satisfy your breakfast cravings.Arsagas Church & CenterLet's head to Arasagas Church & Center for a cozy breakfast and enjoy their wide selection of coffee blends. Located in the downtown district, this coffee house and restaurant offers a warm and inviting atmosphere that makes you feel right at home. As soon as you step inside, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, enticing your senses. The friendly staff greets you with a smile and is always ready to help you choose the perfect blend to start your day.One of the highlights of Arasagas Church & Center is their wide selection of coffee blends. Whether you prefer a bold and robust dark roast or a smooth and creamy latte, they've something for everyone. Each cup is expertly brewed to perfection, ensuring a rich and flavorful experience with every sip. And if you're feeling adventurous, they also offer unique specialty drinks that are sure to tantalize your taste buds.In addition to their amazing coffee, Arasagas Church & Center also serves delicious breakfast dishes. From fluffy pancakes to hearty omelettes, their menu is filled with mouthwatering options that are guaranteed to satisfy your cravings. The ingredients are always fresh and locally sourced, adding an extra layer of quality to each dish.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are the Gluten-Free Options Available at Little Bread Company, the Farmers Table Cafe, Rolling Pin Cafe, Jammin Java, First Watch, Prelude Breakfast Bar, and Arsagas Church & Center?At Little Bread Company, The Farmers Table Cafe, Rolling Pin Cafe, Jammin Java, First Watch, Prelude Breakfast Bar, and Arsagas Church & Center, there are numerous gluten-free options available.From gluten-free pastries at Little Bread Company to the Morning Mushroom Mash at The Farmers Table Cafe, there's something for everyone.At Rolling Pin Cafe, you can enjoy customizable breakfast platters with gluten-free options.Jammin Java offers a wide assortment of health-conscious eats, including gluten-free dishes.First Watch also caters to special diets with their selection of gluten-free dishes.Do Any of These Breakfast Spots Offer Outdoor Seating?Yes, some of these breakfast spots offer outdoor seating.It's always nice to enjoy a meal in the fresh air.Little Bread Company has a patio for al-fresco dining, while The Farmers Table Cafe has an outdoor deck.Arsagas Church & Center also offers outdoor seating, perfect for soaking up the atmosphere in the downtown district.Are There Any Vegan-Friendly Options on the Menu at Little Bread Company, the Farmers Table Cafe, Rolling Pin Cafe, Jammin Java, First Watch, Prelude Breakfast Bar, and Arsagas Church & Center?Yes, there are vegan-friendly options available at several establishments in your area. These include Little Bread Company, The Farmers Table Cafe, Rolling Pin Cafe, Jammin Java, First Watch, Prelude Breakfast Bar, and Arsagas Church & Center. Each of these establishments understands the importance of catering to different dietary preferences and offers a variety of plant-based dishes. Whether you're in the mood for a hearty breakfast sandwich or a delicious bowl of fresh fruits and grains, you'll find vegan options that are both tasty and satisfying.Which Restaurant Among These Offers Customizable Breakfast Platters?Among the restaurants mentioned, Rolling Pin Cafe offers customizable breakfast platters. They've a lively atmosphere with simplistic decorations and a menu that allows you to build your own breakfast plate.You can choose from a variety of options like meats, eggs, and sides to create a breakfast platter that suits your preferences. Whether you're in the mood for loaded omelets or fresh fruit juices, Rolling Pin Cafe has got you covered.Are There Any Specialty Coffee Blends Available at Little Bread Company, the Farmers Table Cafe, Rolling Pin Cafe, Jammin Java, First Watch, Prelude Breakfast Bar, and Arsagas Church & Center?Yes, there are specialty coffee blends available at the following breakfast spots in Fayetteville, AR:Little Bread CompanyThe Farmers Table CafeRolling Pin CafeJammin JavaFirst WatchPrelude Breakfast BarArsagas Church & CenterEach of these establishments offers a wide selection of coffee blends to accompany your breakfast experience. Whether you prefer a bold and robust roast or a smooth and mellow blend, you'll find the perfect cup of coffee to start your day off right.ConclusionAfter exploring the vibrant breakfast scene in Fayetteville, AR, we can confidently say that this city has something for everyone. Whether you're craving freshly baked pastries at Little Bread Company, farm-to-table delights at The Farmers Table Cafe, or a classic American breakfast at Rolling Pin Cafe, you're in for a treat.And with coffee options like Jammin Java and Arsagas Church & Center, your morning brew will be perfectly paired with a delicious meal.So, why wait? Start your day off right with a mouthwatering breakfast in Fayetteville! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 02:40 ShiftYourReality How to Escape the Confines of Time and Space According to the CIA (The Gateway Experience)
In the ’80s, the spy agency investigated the "Gateway Experience" technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape spacetime.
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am merely a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next couple days. Thought you might be interested in a little history in the meantime. Cheers!
submitted by ShiftYourReality to ShiftYourReality [link] [comments]
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am merely a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next couple days. Thought you might be interested in a little history in the meantime. Cheers!
2024.05.15 02:40 melvinmel Ok, I Give Up. Ulta Shipping Wins 😅
Hey all - want to start this off with a question to get a conversation going: What is the weirdest, best, worst, off the wall, item you've received INSTEAD of what you actually ordered?
I'll go first, since it happened not just once, but twice (original and replacement order). I placed an order a week or so ago for 2 Dr. Teals scrubs, a mascara, a concealer, Real Techniques foundation brush and a Scunci raffia headband (along with the birthday gift).
My package came in and some items were damaged: one of the scrubs was opened previously and had visible crud on the rim and less product in the jar when compared to the other one. (the other was shrink wrapped) and the brush looked run over, some dents and separating at the seams on the handle. My headband never showed. Instead, I received a Purity Made Simple pore mask. 🤔
I contacted customer service, who were really helpful and sent them the photos. They put a replacement order together, which I just received.
Opening the box I see a new Dr Teals scrub. Great! I received my headband - so far so good. The brush replacement? dpHUE ACV hair rinse instead. 🤣
submitted by melvinmel to Ulta [link] [comments]
I'll go first, since it happened not just once, but twice (original and replacement order). I placed an order a week or so ago for 2 Dr. Teals scrubs, a mascara, a concealer, Real Techniques foundation brush and a Scunci raffia headband (along with the birthday gift).
My package came in and some items were damaged: one of the scrubs was opened previously and had visible crud on the rim and less product in the jar when compared to the other one. (the other was shrink wrapped) and the brush looked run over, some dents and separating at the seams on the handle. My headband never showed. Instead, I received a Purity Made Simple pore mask. 🤔
I contacted customer service, who were really helpful and sent them the photos. They put a replacement order together, which I just received.
Opening the box I see a new Dr Teals scrub. Great! I received my headband - so far so good. The brush replacement? dpHUE ACV hair rinse instead. 🤣
2024.05.15 02:37 OPs_Peehole I need help, empathy, something
Well here I am at 22 years old digging a hole for myself. I don’t even know where to start. My girlfriend of 4 years and I moved into the city together to start a life together. We got a full apartment and animals together, and have been on so many trips around the country throughout the years. I supported her through college (which she is just now graduating after 4 years) and worked my ass off doing so. I was going to ask her to marry me this spring. Now we’re splitting apart because she caught feelings for someone else, and all of a sudden is not happy with me. There was barely any indication of that previously. It completely blindsided me. Now I’m sitting here feeling pathetic and bawling my eyes out as I watch her pack all of her things and go. We were even supposed to go on a massive trip as soon as she graduated (the one I was going to ask her to marry me on) at the end of this month, and she cancelled my plane ticket without even telling me. I can’t do anything to stop her from going, and her hurting me like that by talking to someone else right before she left (and continues to do so) just pours salt in the wound. I don’t know what to do.
My grandmother passed away a month ago, and it is still a touchy subject for me. I loved her dearly. She will forever be in my heart. Now the childhood home I grew up in is bought and sold.
Lastly, my cousin who I considered a brother, especially growing up, got back from deployment in Africa about a year ago. He’s been struggling with mental health, and a bit ago his fiancé broke up with him. I had to learn through Facebook, two days ago, that he had taken his life.
I am so fed up. Honestly I’ve been trying my best to push through. But life is really beating me right now. Honestly I’ve been so crushed lately and getting drunk everyday (I know it won’t help). I’m hurting so bad guys and I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep my days away.
I apologize for the rant, but I needed to get this all out somewhere.
submitted by OPs_Peehole to sadposting [link] [comments]
My grandmother passed away a month ago, and it is still a touchy subject for me. I loved her dearly. She will forever be in my heart. Now the childhood home I grew up in is bought and sold.
Lastly, my cousin who I considered a brother, especially growing up, got back from deployment in Africa about a year ago. He’s been struggling with mental health, and a bit ago his fiancé broke up with him. I had to learn through Facebook, two days ago, that he had taken his life.
I am so fed up. Honestly I’ve been trying my best to push through. But life is really beating me right now. Honestly I’ve been so crushed lately and getting drunk everyday (I know it won’t help). I’m hurting so bad guys and I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep my days away.
I apologize for the rant, but I needed to get this all out somewhere.
2024.05.15 02:29 balletbouquet My (F30) relatives planned my grandmother's funeral for my birthday. She died months ago and my birthday is this Saturday. How do I navigate this painful feeling?
My grandmother died in February. I hadn't seen her - or many members of that side of the family - since 2018, the year I got married. After my divorce in 2020, I moved to NYC. I've had a rough past few years, emotionally and financially. My Nana and those relatives spent their time in Florida, Texas, and Alabama (where I am from originally). Whenever I visited my immediate family, the extended family wouldn't be there.
I deeply regret not making the time to see my grandmother before she passed. I grieved her immediately, breaking into tears and weeping for weeks. I contemplated and researched the afterlife. When I texted my dad to ask, "When will the funeral be? Nothing could keep me away", he replied, "5.18.2024."
May 18 is my birthday.
I typed a message asking why my birthday was chosen, but quickly deleted it. I tried to calmly ask my mother privately and she became irritable, yelling at me, "Do not bring this up to your father. He's going through a lot."
I found out over time that because the ground was frozen in Vermont (where my grandmother raised her family before retiring in Florida), and Vermont is where she wanted her ashes to be buried, they had to postpone the funeral. She had seven children who had to pick a date that worked for all of them. But still...my birthday? My dad didn't care to speak up about it being his only daughter's birthday?
Here's the thing: my whole life, I have felt like the least favorite grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. I knew deep down that my grandmother loved me, but it was clear she loved others more. One time she chose to take my cousin to Disney World the same day my family had driven in to visit her. She told my father to come the next day, but he didn't listen, and decided to surprise her instead. She grew irate and rushed to beat us home so we wouldn't find out, but my Grandpa spilled the beans. She could have waited a day to take me and my brother, but didn't. We never went to Disney World with her.
She was a devout Catholic her entire life, but rolled her eyes when my eleven-year-old-self - a Southern Baptist at the time - suggested we all pray before we eat dinner. When she and my mother found me sitting alone one day (as a thirteen-year-old), I told them I was contemplating my future, and whether I could get into Harvard or travel to Europe. She burst out laughing as if that was the most hilarious joke ever told. (She never got a degree or worked.)
I've been writing creatively since childhood, but she always told me I needed a "real career" and I couldn't dream about becoming a writer. I have been tall and thin my whole life. When I began modeling, she said, "Modeling is not for you." She showered my cousins in praise and validation and gifts. She sent me gifts and cards, don't get me wrong, but the difference in quality was obvious. She scolded me over things my cousins got away with easily.
I loved my grandmother. I love my parents. I didn't want to hurt my dad so I kept my feelings inside and told myself my birthday was not important. But then my fiance and I went to dinner a week early to celebrate, and my parents didn't even wish me a happy birthday. They didn't send a card. I asked why. My mother replied, "Isn't your birthday next Saturday? We'll celebrate you on May 20 when we are all together in your city."
After she said this, it sunk in for me that they never intended to even acknowledge me at all on my birthday. So I changed my return flight from the 19th to the 18th. I asked my dad if he could drive me to the airport on my birthday after the funeral, and he said no because he had to "spend time with family." So I secured a rental car. I would now fly from Vermont to Detroit and finally return home to NYC at midnight on my birthday.
I have lived in NYC for four years, and for four years, my parents have made excuse after excuse not to visit me. I had to beg my dad to agree to visit me in NYC on their drive back from Vermont to Alabama, which he didn't want to do. He didn't want to drive into NYC to pick me up either. Originally my parents were supposed to pick me up from the train station in New Jersey this Thursday, and I would fly back home on the 19th, and they would FINALLY visit me in Manhattan on the 20th. It was all set. I was looking forward to exploring my dad's home town with him and spending some quality time together a few days before the funeral. Then out of the blue, my mom insisted I fly in on Friday instead, under the guise of saving my PTO. But really they just wanted to get to Vermont sooner. I told my dad this hurt my feelings, that I had been looking forward to spending private time with my parents in his hometown.
Today I called them and asked for help covering my Ubers to and from the airports. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and they know this. Nana's will insisted that her estate would cover everyone's accommodations at her funeral, and I was originally told that I would get my own hotel room. Then I found out that I would be sharing a house with my parents and multiple relatives who were part of the original discussion to plan the funeral on my birthday. That didn't sit right with me. I wanted to go for my Nana and my dad. I didn't want to have to stay in the same house as people who don't care about me.
I finally told my dad today how I feel, on speaker phone while he and my mom were driving across the country towards Vermont. I said I couldn't believe they planned Nana's funeral on my birthday, when they had months to plan for any other date. I told him how my mother wouldn't let me express my feelings to him everytime I tried to calmly ask why, why MY birthday, of all the birthdays in the family? Why did it have to be on anyone's birthday? I said this has been a recurring theme all my life, that nobody in this family cares about me. He replied, "Don't come. If that's how you feel, don't come."
So now I am crying and wondering if I should cancel my flights and rental car, and miss out on my Nana's funeral, or just go, despite the fact that nobody wants me there...and based on their choice of date, maybe they never did.
TL;DR: My relatives planned my grandmother's funeral months in advance on my birthday. I told my parents this made me feel unloved and my dad told me to not come to the funeral if that's how I feel.
submitted by balletbouquet to relationships [link] [comments]
I deeply regret not making the time to see my grandmother before she passed. I grieved her immediately, breaking into tears and weeping for weeks. I contemplated and researched the afterlife. When I texted my dad to ask, "When will the funeral be? Nothing could keep me away", he replied, "5.18.2024."
May 18 is my birthday.
I typed a message asking why my birthday was chosen, but quickly deleted it. I tried to calmly ask my mother privately and she became irritable, yelling at me, "Do not bring this up to your father. He's going through a lot."
I found out over time that because the ground was frozen in Vermont (where my grandmother raised her family before retiring in Florida), and Vermont is where she wanted her ashes to be buried, they had to postpone the funeral. She had seven children who had to pick a date that worked for all of them. But still...my birthday? My dad didn't care to speak up about it being his only daughter's birthday?
Here's the thing: my whole life, I have felt like the least favorite grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. I knew deep down that my grandmother loved me, but it was clear she loved others more. One time she chose to take my cousin to Disney World the same day my family had driven in to visit her. She told my father to come the next day, but he didn't listen, and decided to surprise her instead. She grew irate and rushed to beat us home so we wouldn't find out, but my Grandpa spilled the beans. She could have waited a day to take me and my brother, but didn't. We never went to Disney World with her.
She was a devout Catholic her entire life, but rolled her eyes when my eleven-year-old-self - a Southern Baptist at the time - suggested we all pray before we eat dinner. When she and my mother found me sitting alone one day (as a thirteen-year-old), I told them I was contemplating my future, and whether I could get into Harvard or travel to Europe. She burst out laughing as if that was the most hilarious joke ever told. (She never got a degree or worked.)
I've been writing creatively since childhood, but she always told me I needed a "real career" and I couldn't dream about becoming a writer. I have been tall and thin my whole life. When I began modeling, she said, "Modeling is not for you." She showered my cousins in praise and validation and gifts. She sent me gifts and cards, don't get me wrong, but the difference in quality was obvious. She scolded me over things my cousins got away with easily.
I loved my grandmother. I love my parents. I didn't want to hurt my dad so I kept my feelings inside and told myself my birthday was not important. But then my fiance and I went to dinner a week early to celebrate, and my parents didn't even wish me a happy birthday. They didn't send a card. I asked why. My mother replied, "Isn't your birthday next Saturday? We'll celebrate you on May 20 when we are all together in your city."
After she said this, it sunk in for me that they never intended to even acknowledge me at all on my birthday. So I changed my return flight from the 19th to the 18th. I asked my dad if he could drive me to the airport on my birthday after the funeral, and he said no because he had to "spend time with family." So I secured a rental car. I would now fly from Vermont to Detroit and finally return home to NYC at midnight on my birthday.
I have lived in NYC for four years, and for four years, my parents have made excuse after excuse not to visit me. I had to beg my dad to agree to visit me in NYC on their drive back from Vermont to Alabama, which he didn't want to do. He didn't want to drive into NYC to pick me up either. Originally my parents were supposed to pick me up from the train station in New Jersey this Thursday, and I would fly back home on the 19th, and they would FINALLY visit me in Manhattan on the 20th. It was all set. I was looking forward to exploring my dad's home town with him and spending some quality time together a few days before the funeral. Then out of the blue, my mom insisted I fly in on Friday instead, under the guise of saving my PTO. But really they just wanted to get to Vermont sooner. I told my dad this hurt my feelings, that I had been looking forward to spending private time with my parents in his hometown.
Today I called them and asked for help covering my Ubers to and from the airports. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and they know this. Nana's will insisted that her estate would cover everyone's accommodations at her funeral, and I was originally told that I would get my own hotel room. Then I found out that I would be sharing a house with my parents and multiple relatives who were part of the original discussion to plan the funeral on my birthday. That didn't sit right with me. I wanted to go for my Nana and my dad. I didn't want to have to stay in the same house as people who don't care about me.
I finally told my dad today how I feel, on speaker phone while he and my mom were driving across the country towards Vermont. I said I couldn't believe they planned Nana's funeral on my birthday, when they had months to plan for any other date. I told him how my mother wouldn't let me express my feelings to him everytime I tried to calmly ask why, why MY birthday, of all the birthdays in the family? Why did it have to be on anyone's birthday? I said this has been a recurring theme all my life, that nobody in this family cares about me. He replied, "Don't come. If that's how you feel, don't come."
So now I am crying and wondering if I should cancel my flights and rental car, and miss out on my Nana's funeral, or just go, despite the fact that nobody wants me there...and based on their choice of date, maybe they never did.
TL;DR: My relatives planned my grandmother's funeral months in advance on my birthday. I told my parents this made me feel unloved and my dad told me to not come to the funeral if that's how I feel.
2024.05.15 02:26 Feisty_Injury_8638 I’m so done
My dad has always had a temper. He doesn’t get dangerously mad all the time but when he does it’s scary. He’s never tried to lay a hand on any of us but he’s the type of person you never want to be around when he’s angry.
Today is my mom’s birthday. And I tried so hard to make her happy. I bought her gifts for Mother’s Day and today because she deserves it and I finally have a job and enough money to do that. I felt like today was gonna be a good day. Until my dad got into one of his shittier moods and yelled at her and made her cry. It was kind of bad. I got so overwhelmed and so upset that I asked to take a walk and walked around 5 laps at a track near my house before walking home. I’ve never reacted like this before. We ordered dinner instead of making it like my mom wanted. Her day was completely ruined and I hate it.
Now I know for a fact where my dad’s anger is probably stemming from. My grandmother, his mom, died on Valentine’s Day. It was a rough loss and I can tell he’s still grieving. This morning, his aunt died (exactly three months since my grandmother’s death). He wasn’t that close with her but I think the thing is he’s mostly very upset for my grandfather, whose life has been completely turned to shit since his wife died. Believe me, I understand why he’s upset. Why he’s grieving. But he can’t fucking take it out on us like that. On my mom.
He thinks we should be taking care of him when he’s grieving, and while that is true, I feel like he’s being so fucking selfish. I wasn’t close to my grandmother but I could have been, and that’s why the loss sucked so much for me. Yet he never asked me if I was okay. Never fucking bothered. I can’t even remember the last time he’s hugged me.
It’s obvious I’m not close with him. I’m so fucking angry. I tried so hard to make my mom’s birthday a good one and he completely ruined it. I want to be considerate but I don’t at the same time. I shouldn’t have to be considerate if he’s not going to be. I know I probably sound like an asshole, but I’m so sick of keeping my thoughts from him out of fear.
Please forgive my ranting. I’m just so done with everything.
submitted by Feisty_Injury_8638 to FamilyProblems [link] [comments]
Today is my mom’s birthday. And I tried so hard to make her happy. I bought her gifts for Mother’s Day and today because she deserves it and I finally have a job and enough money to do that. I felt like today was gonna be a good day. Until my dad got into one of his shittier moods and yelled at her and made her cry. It was kind of bad. I got so overwhelmed and so upset that I asked to take a walk and walked around 5 laps at a track near my house before walking home. I’ve never reacted like this before. We ordered dinner instead of making it like my mom wanted. Her day was completely ruined and I hate it.
Now I know for a fact where my dad’s anger is probably stemming from. My grandmother, his mom, died on Valentine’s Day. It was a rough loss and I can tell he’s still grieving. This morning, his aunt died (exactly three months since my grandmother’s death). He wasn’t that close with her but I think the thing is he’s mostly very upset for my grandfather, whose life has been completely turned to shit since his wife died. Believe me, I understand why he’s upset. Why he’s grieving. But he can’t fucking take it out on us like that. On my mom.
He thinks we should be taking care of him when he’s grieving, and while that is true, I feel like he’s being so fucking selfish. I wasn’t close to my grandmother but I could have been, and that’s why the loss sucked so much for me. Yet he never asked me if I was okay. Never fucking bothered. I can’t even remember the last time he’s hugged me.
It’s obvious I’m not close with him. I’m so fucking angry. I tried so hard to make my mom’s birthday a good one and he completely ruined it. I want to be considerate but I don’t at the same time. I shouldn’t have to be considerate if he’s not going to be. I know I probably sound like an asshole, but I’m so sick of keeping my thoughts from him out of fear.
Please forgive my ranting. I’m just so done with everything.
2024.05.15 02:19 yuniah_17 I (F20's) am not sure what my friend/crush (m20's) is up to
Notes: This is more of a venting but I need advice post. Also a lot of story telling for background info.
TLDR; My friend/crush hasn't responded to my texts for 2 weeks after he said he missed me. He's been online but is leaving me on delivered. Everything has gone positively and perfect up until now. And I am nervous for the worst case scenario. What do I do?
I (20'sF) have been friends with this guy (20'sM) for 5 years. We have a lot in common. From religion to music to overall interests. We can agree on a lot. I had a huge crush on him when we went to school. But he had rejected me because he didn't want a relationship. In which he has stuck to for the 5 years I've known him. After school he joined the military and I'd hear from him once or twice every couple of months. Which was okay because it gave me time to relieve my crush on him. But overall he was the ideal guy, I find him highly attractive, super intelligent, and overall a great person.
I never truly got over the crush, but I just let it sit in the back of my head.
We both went on with our lives, I had my first boyfriend. But it never worked out. But last summer he came home and asked if I wanted to go out. So I was excited to agree to it. We spent all day together, just talking about random stuff and catching up on life. He asked me to hang out again the next day so we went to a movie. It all went fairly well, it just felt like we were reconnecting and we became stronger friends.
After he left I went on with my life as he went on with his. I had gone out on one date with a former classmate from high school. And it didn't work out because there wasn't a connection. But when November came around, my friend had text me and asked if he should come home. In fact, his reasoning of coming home was to see his family and because he had missed me.
We had only talked 2-3 times a month between him leaving and him coming home again.
He came home in December and he had text me to make plans. He wanted to go ice skating and so he took me for the first time. He had insisted on putting my skates for me because I was struggling. And he wanted to hold my hand so he could protect me from falling. After that we went to a mall and he bought me a candle (and one for himself). Then we went to a pho cafe and had lunch. I got to hear his fun stories from when he had pho as a kid. It was so fun just listening to him be excited about what he likes. Although he isn't a talkative guy, he's always been known to be really quiet and introverted.
Later after that, we went back to my house and spent some time talking. He found interest in my rings and asked about them. He was just sitting next to me and ASKED if he could kiss me. I have never really heard of someone asking first. But I am also inexperienced in kissing, so that explains it. We had kissed and then we went up to my room and cuddled. We just appreciated each other's presence, kissing, holding hands, laughing, playing with each other's hair, all of that.
A couple days later, I saw this car rolling up my street slowly while I was out walking my dog. It happened to be him and his parents. They knew about me and wanted to see where I lived. So I got to meet his parents. Later on, my friend would text me and ask various questions his parents had for me.
I invited him over a couple days before he left for his home. I made him dinner and we had a drink or two. After that we went to my room again to watch tv and cuddle. We basically did what we did the previous time and some other things. The next day, I was just hanging out at home and I heard a car door outside. It was my friend. He stopped by to say goodbye before he left to go home. He said bye, kissed me once more, and then got in his dad's vehicle and left.
When he got home we talked almost everyday with maybe a 3-4 day break in between talking. Which was a huge step. He'd complement me, say that he thought I was really sweet, he wished me happy birthday 4 times (yes, 4 times. He was also the first to say it), and things of that sort. I returned the complements and so on. He even joked about us getting married. Which was so sweet. We've talk about how we missed each other several times and how we can't wait to see each other again. Talked about when he'll come home and that I'd be one of the main reasons he'd come home. Everything is great. Although he didn't want a relationship until the future. Which is okay, because he has stuck to that for the years I've known him. But everything still went fairly smoothly. It feels like a fresh breath of air.
I would always ask him how he is doing. Or he'd just tell me about his day before I could even ask. If I was delayed in response, I'd always apologize and he'd say there was nothing to be sorry about. He'd constantly reassure me. Which is a great sign, friend-wise and potential-partner-wise. He is such a great guy personality wise, highly intelligent, very kind, likes to listen but is generally a quiet person, always tells the truth, has a good sense of humor, and so on. He's also always happy for me when I talk about something like a job offering or something big in my life. As I'm always happy for him when he has something exciting going on. We're always supporting each other and hoping that we're in the best shape.
All the way up until 2 weeks ago, everything went incredibly well. I have never had a guy actually treat me like this. I mean, things could still be well, but who knows.
He had texted me one morning like usual. So I responded when I was able to (maybe an hour later). And I haven't heard from him since. I get that life gets in the way or he may have to prioritize something differently. But it is unlike him to just drop out. I've occasionally noticed that he had been online. So why isn't he responding? I know well that he isn't seeing anyone. Since he sticks to his word. Plus his last words to me were: "I miss spending time with you" (we were talking about something he missed from back home and that he didn't know when he'll get to return). I texted him after not hearing from him for a week and still nothing. I am afraid he is ghosting me although I feel like he wouldn't do such thing. I just get scared of that from past experiences. So, maybe he is just busy? Maybe he has something high-priority going on? Maybe he is just being his introverted self and kinda keeping to himself? We are just friends for now so it shouldn't bother me too much. But I still get worried for him. (although when I mentioned a few years ago that I got worried for him, he had said that he hopes I didn't worry too much). I understand that it would be difficult for us to date and that maybe right now wouldn't be a good time to date since neither of us are in a position to date (we're both still trying to find a balanced routine, calm down, take care of ourselves, and navigate being adults lol. plus I am just starting in a professional workforce so I am trying to balance life with that too).
What do I do? Does anyone have a take or any advice on this?
Note: please do ask questions incase I come off in a wrong or weird way. thank you!!!
submitted by yuniah_17 to dating [link] [comments]
TLDR; My friend/crush hasn't responded to my texts for 2 weeks after he said he missed me. He's been online but is leaving me on delivered. Everything has gone positively and perfect up until now. And I am nervous for the worst case scenario. What do I do?
I (20'sF) have been friends with this guy (20'sM) for 5 years. We have a lot in common. From religion to music to overall interests. We can agree on a lot. I had a huge crush on him when we went to school. But he had rejected me because he didn't want a relationship. In which he has stuck to for the 5 years I've known him. After school he joined the military and I'd hear from him once or twice every couple of months. Which was okay because it gave me time to relieve my crush on him. But overall he was the ideal guy, I find him highly attractive, super intelligent, and overall a great person.
I never truly got over the crush, but I just let it sit in the back of my head.
We both went on with our lives, I had my first boyfriend. But it never worked out. But last summer he came home and asked if I wanted to go out. So I was excited to agree to it. We spent all day together, just talking about random stuff and catching up on life. He asked me to hang out again the next day so we went to a movie. It all went fairly well, it just felt like we were reconnecting and we became stronger friends.
After he left I went on with my life as he went on with his. I had gone out on one date with a former classmate from high school. And it didn't work out because there wasn't a connection. But when November came around, my friend had text me and asked if he should come home. In fact, his reasoning of coming home was to see his family and because he had missed me.
We had only talked 2-3 times a month between him leaving and him coming home again.
He came home in December and he had text me to make plans. He wanted to go ice skating and so he took me for the first time. He had insisted on putting my skates for me because I was struggling. And he wanted to hold my hand so he could protect me from falling. After that we went to a mall and he bought me a candle (and one for himself). Then we went to a pho cafe and had lunch. I got to hear his fun stories from when he had pho as a kid. It was so fun just listening to him be excited about what he likes. Although he isn't a talkative guy, he's always been known to be really quiet and introverted.
Later after that, we went back to my house and spent some time talking. He found interest in my rings and asked about them. He was just sitting next to me and ASKED if he could kiss me. I have never really heard of someone asking first. But I am also inexperienced in kissing, so that explains it. We had kissed and then we went up to my room and cuddled. We just appreciated each other's presence, kissing, holding hands, laughing, playing with each other's hair, all of that.
A couple days later, I saw this car rolling up my street slowly while I was out walking my dog. It happened to be him and his parents. They knew about me and wanted to see where I lived. So I got to meet his parents. Later on, my friend would text me and ask various questions his parents had for me.
I invited him over a couple days before he left for his home. I made him dinner and we had a drink or two. After that we went to my room again to watch tv and cuddle. We basically did what we did the previous time and some other things. The next day, I was just hanging out at home and I heard a car door outside. It was my friend. He stopped by to say goodbye before he left to go home. He said bye, kissed me once more, and then got in his dad's vehicle and left.
When he got home we talked almost everyday with maybe a 3-4 day break in between talking. Which was a huge step. He'd complement me, say that he thought I was really sweet, he wished me happy birthday 4 times (yes, 4 times. He was also the first to say it), and things of that sort. I returned the complements and so on. He even joked about us getting married. Which was so sweet. We've talk about how we missed each other several times and how we can't wait to see each other again. Talked about when he'll come home and that I'd be one of the main reasons he'd come home. Everything is great. Although he didn't want a relationship until the future. Which is okay, because he has stuck to that for the years I've known him. But everything still went fairly smoothly. It feels like a fresh breath of air.
I would always ask him how he is doing. Or he'd just tell me about his day before I could even ask. If I was delayed in response, I'd always apologize and he'd say there was nothing to be sorry about. He'd constantly reassure me. Which is a great sign, friend-wise and potential-partner-wise. He is such a great guy personality wise, highly intelligent, very kind, likes to listen but is generally a quiet person, always tells the truth, has a good sense of humor, and so on. He's also always happy for me when I talk about something like a job offering or something big in my life. As I'm always happy for him when he has something exciting going on. We're always supporting each other and hoping that we're in the best shape.
All the way up until 2 weeks ago, everything went incredibly well. I have never had a guy actually treat me like this. I mean, things could still be well, but who knows.
He had texted me one morning like usual. So I responded when I was able to (maybe an hour later). And I haven't heard from him since. I get that life gets in the way or he may have to prioritize something differently. But it is unlike him to just drop out. I've occasionally noticed that he had been online. So why isn't he responding? I know well that he isn't seeing anyone. Since he sticks to his word. Plus his last words to me were: "I miss spending time with you" (we were talking about something he missed from back home and that he didn't know when he'll get to return). I texted him after not hearing from him for a week and still nothing. I am afraid he is ghosting me although I feel like he wouldn't do such thing. I just get scared of that from past experiences. So, maybe he is just busy? Maybe he has something high-priority going on? Maybe he is just being his introverted self and kinda keeping to himself? We are just friends for now so it shouldn't bother me too much. But I still get worried for him. (although when I mentioned a few years ago that I got worried for him, he had said that he hopes I didn't worry too much). I understand that it would be difficult for us to date and that maybe right now wouldn't be a good time to date since neither of us are in a position to date (we're both still trying to find a balanced routine, calm down, take care of ourselves, and navigate being adults lol. plus I am just starting in a professional workforce so I am trying to balance life with that too).
What do I do? Does anyone have a take or any advice on this?
Note: please do ask questions incase I come off in a wrong or weird way. thank you!!!
2024.05.15 02:18 TinyNeko98 I'm a 25 yr old female who needs a break
Life is driving me Mad. I've never made a reddit post, so please forgive any ignorance. First I will begin by saying, I'm so done.... I'm a mom of three children, 1 (6 yr old boy) and 2 (2 yr old twin girls). I don't even know where to start... I guess I'll start with how my situation is going right now and then work backwards to how it all began... I am currently working as a FT MA and I live with my son and I don't live with my twin girls. How is that possible? You ask. Well, it all began after I had my twins... I am a petite woman at only 4'4" so my twins came out early (NICU Babies). They thrived in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The twins were in the NICU for 1 month and then finally came home. I was filled with so much joy and happiness. My son would come help me with the bottle and read them books, my life felt complete ❤️ If you know me well, you would know that my life as a child was ust full of bad luck and sadness and pain. I try not to think about it and keep trying to live life. No matter how hard life got I tried to stay optimistic and kept pushing forward... And those few moments of joy and fulfillment almost got me to believe that I finally did it and I was proud of my hard work and success, for those few moments. Sadly those moments did not last and my life got pushed into a whirlwind of pain, depression and loneliness all over again.... And I gained a new fear.... On April 14th... Twin A almost gained her wings that day... And I fell right back into that dark hole I worked so hard to crawl out of... My life at that moment felt like I was trying to control a ship in a really harsh storm, and during that storm I lost my home, I lost a car, someone stole my wallet, Twin B was diagnosed with the same condition as her sister and ended up in the hospital too, we basically lived in the hospital for half a year, hopping from roomate to roomate from Facebook Marketplace until we saved enough money to get our own place again. Me and the Kid's Dad ended up separating, I was paying for a 2Bed 2Bath on my own income and it was a struggle but me and my son managed. I ended up talking to my best friend of 11 yrs (M) and we ended up falling in love. After dating for a while he ended up wanting to help me with finances so we moved in together. And we both work Full time jobs. I thought things would calm down for a while so I can find stability again. And now I can talk about my condition, it's not horrible. I need surgery and if not there's a possibility of me losing mobility in my limbs. I've already been missing days for being sick due to the condition and have been getting paid less. The thing is though, surgery is expensive and I'm already missing days, I get FMLA without benefits and I have to be out of work for a month. I don't even know what to do. My life has to fall back into place like a domino affect. I get healthy again, I do what I need to do to get a big enough place for my children with a stable job. I wish it was that simple.... I need some advice or words of encouragement, I honestly feel like I can't handle this anymore.
Also this kind of felt good to let it out and get this off my chest...
submitted by TinyNeko98 to offmychest [link] [comments]
Also this kind of felt good to let it out and get this off my chest...
2024.05.15 02:17 TinyNeko98 I need to get this off my chest
Life is driving me Mad. I've never made a reddit post, so please forgive any ignorance. First I will begin by saying, I'm so done.... I'm a mom of three children, 1 (6 yr old boy) and 2 (2 yr old twin girls). I don't even know where to start... I guess I'll start with how my situation is going right now and then work backwards to how it all began... I am currently working as a FT MA and I live with my son and I don't live with my twin girls. How is that possible? You ask. Well, it all began after I had my twins... I am a petite woman at only 4'4" so my twins came out early (NICU Babies). They thrived in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The twins were in the NICU for 1 month and then finally came home. I was filled with so much joy and happiness. My son would come help me with the bottle and read them books, my life felt complete ❤️ If you know me well, you would know that my life as a child was ust full of bad luck and sadness and pain. I try not to think about it and keep trying to live life. No matter how hard life got I tried to stay optimistic and kept pushing forward... And those few moments of joy and fulfillment almost got me to believe that I finally did it and I was proud of my hard work and success, for those few moments. Sadly those moments did not last and my life got pushed into a whirlwind of pain, depression and loneliness all over again.... And I gained a new fear.... On April 14th... Twin A almost gained her wings that day... And I fell right back into that dark hole I worked so hard to crawl out of... My life at that moment felt like I was trying to control a ship in a really harsh storm, and during that storm I lost my home, I lost a car, someone stole my wallet, Twin B was diagnosed with the same condition as her sister and ended up in the hospital too, we basically lived in the hospital for half a year, hopping from roomate to roomate from Facebook Marketplace until we saved enough money to get our own place again. Me and the Kid's Dad ended up separating, I was paying for a 2Bed 2Bath on my own income and it was a struggle but me and my son managed. I ended up talking to my best friend of 11 yrs (M) and we ended up falling in love. After dating for a while he ended up wanting to help me with finances so we moved in together. And we both work Full time jobs. I thought things would calm down for a while so I can find stability again. And now I can talk about my condition, it's not horrible. I need surgery and if not there's a possibility of me losing mobility in my limbs. I've already been missing days for being sick due to the condition and have been getting paid less. The thing is though, surgery is expensive and I'm already missing days, I get FMLA without benefits and I have to be out of work for a month. I don't even know what to do. My life has to fall back into place like a domino affect. I get healthy again, I do what I need to do to get a big enough place for my children with a stable job. I wish it was that simple.... I need some advice or words of encouragement, I honestly feel like I can't handle this anymore.
Also this kind of felt good to let it out and get this off my chest...
submitted by TinyNeko98 to u/TinyNeko98 [link] [comments]
Also this kind of felt good to let it out and get this off my chest...
2024.05.15 02:13 Weak-East4370 Vault 329: For the children
This vault will be populated by 125 heterosexual couples from across the nation. They are a random mix of socioeconomic, ethnic, racial and cultural identities with one thing in common: strong personal anti-natalist beliefs. All of these couples are recruited into the vault under the premise that they will be given Tot-X implants, which are permanent, unisex birth control implants. They are told they are a terminal society, with the lifespan of their mission expected to run 35 years before they’re “retired.” The supposed premise for the vault is to maintain servers and systems that serve multiple vaults, but beyond that, residents are sold a life of adults-only childfree leisure. These servers are mostly walled off behind blast doors and require very little work, so most time is free to enjoy a supply of drugs, alcohol, and other hedonistic pursuits.
At 367 days in, the birth control implants obviously start to silently fail. Approximately four months later, when the first evidence of pregnancy becomes undeniable, the “server room” doors unseal to reveal the true Vault staff and overseer, comprised of 25 child development experts. Additionally, there are enough supplies to create a child-specific utopia and sustain the population for an additional 250 years.
Residents are informed that the true purpose of the experiment was to determine if childfree people could be converted into happy parents, as well as determining what kind of parents they would all be. Residents are informed that abortions, infanticide, and any crimes against children are punishable by death, without investigation. The Vault’s constitution is centered around the Children’s bill of rights, and all decisions are made with child welfare in mind. At age 19, children become adults and are expected to start catering to the needs of the vault’s children, as those before them did. The child development experts are the final governing authority, and responsible for choosing and training their replacements.
Vault 329’s fate:
First conception happened a mere 16 days after device failure, and the rate of conception in the vault was 70% in the first year. 15% of implants rendered subjects completely and totally infertile, something that had not happened in the medical trials. Vault tech elected to keep them in the vault anyways, as a form of control group.
In the first 6 months after failure, 14 women and 11 men committed suicide rather than continue on with the mission. 4 women delivered healthy infants and committed infanticide; they were executed as per Vault law. Five men accepted their fate as parents, but went on to kill an infertile couple in a fit of resentful, jealous rage. They were summarily executed as well.
After the initial wave of violence, citizens of fault 329 generally accepted their fate, although their mental states varied wildly as a result. Most became relatively competent parents who ended up loving and caring for their offspring.
The only other wave of violence of note was approximately 20 years after the initial birthdays. Children converting to adult status were found to have intense adjustment disorders from the rapid change in their status in the social hierarchy. Determined to maintain their position of control, a group of 20 year old citizens attacked the governing body’s residential wing with a plan to overthrow them in a coup. However, their own parents stepped in, too thoroughly invested in the experiment to start over with another purpose.
Unable to execute the first generation of children, the governing body elected to exile them instead. In March of 2191, they wandered into the wasteland and were almost immediately captured by Fiends, who extended their addictions to the vaults’ exiled citizens. Unable to contend with the wasteland, most of them died from overdose shortly after arriving.
Vault 329, having learned much from the experience, elected to change nothing, and insisted that “some kids are just bad we guess 🤷🏻♀️.”
submitted by Weak-East4370 to TheVaultEntries [link] [comments]
At 367 days in, the birth control implants obviously start to silently fail. Approximately four months later, when the first evidence of pregnancy becomes undeniable, the “server room” doors unseal to reveal the true Vault staff and overseer, comprised of 25 child development experts. Additionally, there are enough supplies to create a child-specific utopia and sustain the population for an additional 250 years.
Residents are informed that the true purpose of the experiment was to determine if childfree people could be converted into happy parents, as well as determining what kind of parents they would all be. Residents are informed that abortions, infanticide, and any crimes against children are punishable by death, without investigation. The Vault’s constitution is centered around the Children’s bill of rights, and all decisions are made with child welfare in mind. At age 19, children become adults and are expected to start catering to the needs of the vault’s children, as those before them did. The child development experts are the final governing authority, and responsible for choosing and training their replacements.
Vault 329’s fate:
First conception happened a mere 16 days after device failure, and the rate of conception in the vault was 70% in the first year. 15% of implants rendered subjects completely and totally infertile, something that had not happened in the medical trials. Vault tech elected to keep them in the vault anyways, as a form of control group.
In the first 6 months after failure, 14 women and 11 men committed suicide rather than continue on with the mission. 4 women delivered healthy infants and committed infanticide; they were executed as per Vault law. Five men accepted their fate as parents, but went on to kill an infertile couple in a fit of resentful, jealous rage. They were summarily executed as well.
After the initial wave of violence, citizens of fault 329 generally accepted their fate, although their mental states varied wildly as a result. Most became relatively competent parents who ended up loving and caring for their offspring.
The only other wave of violence of note was approximately 20 years after the initial birthdays. Children converting to adult status were found to have intense adjustment disorders from the rapid change in their status in the social hierarchy. Determined to maintain their position of control, a group of 20 year old citizens attacked the governing body’s residential wing with a plan to overthrow them in a coup. However, their own parents stepped in, too thoroughly invested in the experiment to start over with another purpose.
Unable to execute the first generation of children, the governing body elected to exile them instead. In March of 2191, they wandered into the wasteland and were almost immediately captured by Fiends, who extended their addictions to the vaults’ exiled citizens. Unable to contend with the wasteland, most of them died from overdose shortly after arriving.
Vault 329, having learned much from the experience, elected to change nothing, and insisted that “some kids are just bad we guess 🤷🏻♀️.”
2024.05.15 02:12 IceJD 📲 62.2.0 Observations - (OTA May 14th) 📲
This update is deploying as a forced update...... for most people it will be ~1MB in size
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🎼🎶 Music Clear Event
💀🎸🏜 Coco Clear Event
🎭🎨🎬🩰 Festival of the Arts Clear Event
🐸🪕🐷🎤🐻🍅🥁⛓ Muppets Clear Event
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submitted by IceJD to disneyemojiblitz [link] [comments]
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- This information has NOT YET been QAed, but has not yet been fully integrated into original V62 observation posts
- IceJD maintains many other comprehensive resources in this DEB Facebook Group as an admin - join now to ensure access to info given future unknowns about the reddit platform
1. Event Changes
Chart Images will be updated and added soon!
🎼🎶 Music Clear Event
- Dates: 2024-05-16 to 2024-05-20
- Changes were: Options to play Maps changed
- Map 3: Ariel (2023) changed from required L1 to L2
- Map 4: Platinum Jiminy Cricket option removed
- Map 5: Platinum Jiminy Cricket changed from required L3 to L2
💀🎸🏜 Coco Clear Event
- Dates: 2024-05-21 to 2024-05-22
- Changes were: Options to play Map 3 changed (Alebrije Dante changed from required L2 to L3)
🎭🎨🎬🩰 Festival of the Arts Clear Event
- Dates: 2024-05-30 to 2024-06-03
- Changes were: Options to play Map 4 changed (Alfredo Linguini removed; Sketch Figment changed from required L2 to L3)
🐸🪕🐷🎤🐻🍅🥁⛓ Muppets Clear Event
- Dates: 2024-06-04 to 2024-06-05
- Changes were: Options to play Maps changed
- Map 2: Gauzey the Hatbox Bear removed
- Map 3: No more L3 emoji options; L4 options now Swedish Chef, Miss Piggy, Gonzo; L5 options now Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog
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2. Changed/Relocated Emojis
- Meadow Padme's score increment of +219 that people noticed was fixed. It is now +19 each time. Everyone's score increment will automatically be recalculated and adjusted!
- Sapphire Stitch is confirmed to be the June "Treasures of Disney" emoji needed to ultimately get Prismatic Tinker Bell
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3. 📦🏷 One (or Two) Day Special Boxes 🏷📦
- Changes:
- May 28-29 Early Bird: Sketch Elsa
- Asha (20%), Magica de Spell (20%), Valentino (15%), The Book (15%), Young Winifred
(10%)(15%), Magical Enchantress (10%), Sketch Elsa(10%)(5%)
- Asha (20%), Magica de Spell (20%), Valentino (15%), The Book (15%), Young Winifred
- June 7 Box name changed
ColorRainbow Villain
- May 28-29 Early Bird: Sketch Elsa
- New Boxes:
- May 15-16
- Duet Box
- 600 Gems
- Queen Anna (10%), Elsa the Snow Queen (10%), Prince Ali (10%), Disguised Jasmine (10%), Scar (10%), Shenzi (10%), Bob Cratchit Kermit (10%), Miss Piggy Emily Cratchit (10%), Isabela (10%), Mirabel (10%)
- May 15-16
- May 20
- High Notes Box
- 1,200 Gems
- Mary Poppins (20%), Queen Anna (20%), Voyager Moana (20%), Bookworm Belle (20%), Aquamarine Jasmine (10%), Diamond Elsa (10%)
- May 30
- Vibrant Box
- 1,200 Gems
- Pancake Goofy (20%), Honey Cake Pooh (20%), Pumpkin Minnie (20%), Wedding Giselle (20%), Citrine Anna (10%), Pearl Daisy (10%)
- June 3-4
- Dance Box
- 400 Gems
- Mowgli (15%), Baloo (15%), Almost There Tiana (15%), Fancy Beast (15%), Belle (15%), Powerline (15%), Jolly Holiday Mary Poppins (10%)
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4. 🎯Emoji Specific Sales 🎯
This is the new sale type that started just a week ago, described in this post- This new set is still really bad deal, and I'd never recommend spending the costs assigned
- Sale Part 1: Ariel (2023), buy up to 2 for 1,200 gems each
- No sale parts after Part 1, this time!
- Sale Part 1: Honey Bee Pooh, buy up to 2 for $4.99 each
- Sale Part 2 (must fully purchase part 1 both times!] for this to appear): Honey Cake Pooh, buy up to 2 for $4.99 each
- Sale Part 1: Crush (gold box emoji at all times!), buy up to 5 for 50 gems each
- No sale parts after Part 1, this time!
- Sale Part 1: Russell (gold box emoji at all times!), buy up to 2 for 100 gems each
- Sale Part 2 (must fully purchase part 1 both times! for this to appear): Eve (Series III box emoji at all times!), buy up to two for 100 gems each
- Sale Part 3 (must fully purchase part 2 both times! for this to appear): Wall-E (Series I box emoji at all times!), buy up to two for 100 gems each
- Sale Part 1: Cabellero Donald, buy up to 1 for $1.99
- Sale Part 2 (must fully purchase part 1 for this to appear): Royal Magician Donald, buy up to two for 1,000 gems each
- Sale Part 3 (must fully purchase part 2 both times! for this to appear): Astronaut Donald, buy up to one for $29.99
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5. 🏴☠️ "Cascading" Sales Changes 🏴☠️
- May 18-20 sale costs reduced by $3 and is now ~$102
- May 23-24 sale costs reduced by $1 and is now ~$78; Human Sisu and Ping's spots int he sale swapped (so Human Sisu is now the final prize)
- May 25-27 sale costs reduced by $5 and is now ~$100
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6. 🍡🎰 GUMBALL MACHINE SALES 🎰🍡
- May 31st-June 4th Gumball: Dates adjusted and now ends June 1st
- New Gumball added June 3rd-4th
- 1,600 gems a pull
- Platinum Nemo x1, Platinum Genie x1, Topiary Daisy x2, Scrat x2, Merlin x2, Captain Pan x2, Baby Dory x5, Rajah x5, Captain Goofy x5, Diego x5, Archimedes x5, Smee x5
- All alt prizes are 10k tokens, except a Rainbow Emoji Charge for Platinum Nemo and a SilveGold/Series Emoji Charge for Platinum Genie
- New Gumball added June 10th-11th
- 120 gems a pull
- Ember x1, Wade x1, Slightly x5, Tinker Bell x5, Mad Hatter x5, Prince Eric x5, Randall x5, Piglet x5, Baymax x5
- All alt prizes are 12,000 coins, except a SilveGold/Series Emoji Charge for Ember and 10,000 tokens for Wade
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7. Changes to the Friend Invite Process
- In late March, I reported changes potentially come to the "friend invite" system
- The PSA language reported at the time is now going to appear in the game from May 14th to June 4th
- Beyond this, we know NOTHING....... when changes will occur is an unknown date .... what changes will actually be made are unknown ..... what rewards may be earned are unknown
2024.05.15 02:07 anxious_bunny_bun My boyfriend was raped by a family member, he did it back to her.
It wasn’t consensual. Either way. Originally he told me it was when I posted about it yesterday, but he came to me last night and said he didn’t deserve my support, he said he was just as bad.
She was his aunt, they were the same age. She spent his whole childhood touching him inappropriately in his sleep starting at the age of 11 anytime she would come over, he wouldn’t react, he’d just freeze up and pretend to be asleep until she was done with him.
On his 19th birthday, she came over and brought alcohol. Everyone at the party drank, he drank a bit too much but managed to pass out in his bed. When he woke up she was fully on top of him, he said when he realized who it was he wanted to cry but couldn’t, he tried to get up but she just put a blanket over his face and didn’t stop until she was done with him. When she was gone he thought about what just happened for a bit and managed to go back to sleep.
Every birthday, she started doing it to him. He’d drink and wake up to her doing this to him, she would invite herself over so he had no way to hide from her, she was his moms sister after all, outside of what she was doing to him they had a regular family relationship neither of them mentioned it to anyone, not even each other. Eventually he got a lock on his door so when she would come over he would lock himself in his room away from her, he told me the first night he realized something bad wasn’t happening to him because she finally couldn’t get to him, he didn’t even sleep, he felt so happy.
So Everytime she would come over he would go to bed, with his door locked and he was safe. He also started drinking less, he was always told to drink more by her, he was an alcoholic at the time and she made sure to take advantage of that. But he started filling his shot glass with water. She would get too drunk and she would pass out before him. He would go to bed safe.
One day she brought over her boyfriend and he treated her very good, he bought her expensive things and gave her love and affection. She mentioned how she tried anal but she didn’t like it so her boyfriend didn’t pressure her into it again. This made my boyfriend angry, he hated that she got an option, she got to say what she wanted, she got to say no but she never gave him that choice.
That night they drank, he went to his room, locked the door and thought about how lucky she was. She didn’t have anything bad happening to her, she had a choice so why did he deserve this? He left his room. He kicked her lightly and she didn’t wake up, he tapped her face lightly, she didn’t wake up, he splashed water in her face, she didn’t wake up. So he sat there for a long time but eventually did what she had been doing to him all these years. He would yell at her as he did it, telling her that he didn’t deserve that, that he trusted her and she ruined his childhood, he would ask her how she liked it, and he would tell her that he was just glad it finally wasn’t him, that now it was her. but of course she wouldn’t wake up to answer. He would finish and come back minutes later to do it again, he’d yell at her every single time, sometimes he would cry.
So that’s how it was now, she would come over, he would be safe from her. She wouldn’t hurt him. They would drink, he would fake his shots, they would go to bed. Sometimes he would just lock himself in his room and do nothing, he was just happy it wasn’t him, she wasn’t hurting him anymore. But sometimes he would do what she did to him. Every time he would yell at her and say all the things he wanted to say to her.
He explained that he felt like she deserved it, that even if he told anyone she wouldn’t go to jail, she would get away with it, he explained that jail was better than how she made him feel, he had to live with the fear and trauma everyday.
It reminded me of this time he and I drank, we had a bath together, he drank too much and started crying, he wouldn’t tell me why. But I got him out of the bath and put him to bed, he never put his clothes on and just fell asleep like that. When he woke up and realized he wasn’t wearing anything I remember the way he looked at me, he looked like he wanted to cry, he asked if I touched him and I told him I didn’t. He looked relieved when I told him that, but the way he looked, the horror and sadness on his face, I’ll never forget that. Now it makes sense, I asked him about it and he said he just had a mini memory and sorta forgot who he was really with.
When she passed away after an OD it hit him hard, he told me it felt like a trauma relief but he was so devastated that she would never apologize for what she did to him. He felt like he never got closure.
I was also r-worded when I was younger, I remember hoping that the person who did it to me would experience the same thing. In a weird way I understand how he felt and oddly enough I don’t blame him because I understand how it felt, to be powerless and want to gain that power back, to also wish that person knew how it really felt. But how do we move on from this? I’m very conflicted and full of a lot of emotions but I love him dearly.
Edit: details.
submitted by anxious_bunny_bun to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
She was his aunt, they were the same age. She spent his whole childhood touching him inappropriately in his sleep starting at the age of 11 anytime she would come over, he wouldn’t react, he’d just freeze up and pretend to be asleep until she was done with him.
On his 19th birthday, she came over and brought alcohol. Everyone at the party drank, he drank a bit too much but managed to pass out in his bed. When he woke up she was fully on top of him, he said when he realized who it was he wanted to cry but couldn’t, he tried to get up but she just put a blanket over his face and didn’t stop until she was done with him. When she was gone he thought about what just happened for a bit and managed to go back to sleep.
Every birthday, she started doing it to him. He’d drink and wake up to her doing this to him, she would invite herself over so he had no way to hide from her, she was his moms sister after all, outside of what she was doing to him they had a regular family relationship neither of them mentioned it to anyone, not even each other. Eventually he got a lock on his door so when she would come over he would lock himself in his room away from her, he told me the first night he realized something bad wasn’t happening to him because she finally couldn’t get to him, he didn’t even sleep, he felt so happy.
So Everytime she would come over he would go to bed, with his door locked and he was safe. He also started drinking less, he was always told to drink more by her, he was an alcoholic at the time and she made sure to take advantage of that. But he started filling his shot glass with water. She would get too drunk and she would pass out before him. He would go to bed safe.
One day she brought over her boyfriend and he treated her very good, he bought her expensive things and gave her love and affection. She mentioned how she tried anal but she didn’t like it so her boyfriend didn’t pressure her into it again. This made my boyfriend angry, he hated that she got an option, she got to say what she wanted, she got to say no but she never gave him that choice.
That night they drank, he went to his room, locked the door and thought about how lucky she was. She didn’t have anything bad happening to her, she had a choice so why did he deserve this? He left his room. He kicked her lightly and she didn’t wake up, he tapped her face lightly, she didn’t wake up, he splashed water in her face, she didn’t wake up. So he sat there for a long time but eventually did what she had been doing to him all these years. He would yell at her as he did it, telling her that he didn’t deserve that, that he trusted her and she ruined his childhood, he would ask her how she liked it, and he would tell her that he was just glad it finally wasn’t him, that now it was her. but of course she wouldn’t wake up to answer. He would finish and come back minutes later to do it again, he’d yell at her every single time, sometimes he would cry.
So that’s how it was now, she would come over, he would be safe from her. She wouldn’t hurt him. They would drink, he would fake his shots, they would go to bed. Sometimes he would just lock himself in his room and do nothing, he was just happy it wasn’t him, she wasn’t hurting him anymore. But sometimes he would do what she did to him. Every time he would yell at her and say all the things he wanted to say to her.
He explained that he felt like she deserved it, that even if he told anyone she wouldn’t go to jail, she would get away with it, he explained that jail was better than how she made him feel, he had to live with the fear and trauma everyday.
It reminded me of this time he and I drank, we had a bath together, he drank too much and started crying, he wouldn’t tell me why. But I got him out of the bath and put him to bed, he never put his clothes on and just fell asleep like that. When he woke up and realized he wasn’t wearing anything I remember the way he looked at me, he looked like he wanted to cry, he asked if I touched him and I told him I didn’t. He looked relieved when I told him that, but the way he looked, the horror and sadness on his face, I’ll never forget that. Now it makes sense, I asked him about it and he said he just had a mini memory and sorta forgot who he was really with.
When she passed away after an OD it hit him hard, he told me it felt like a trauma relief but he was so devastated that she would never apologize for what she did to him. He felt like he never got closure.
I was also r-worded when I was younger, I remember hoping that the person who did it to me would experience the same thing. In a weird way I understand how he felt and oddly enough I don’t blame him because I understand how it felt, to be powerless and want to gain that power back, to also wish that person knew how it really felt. But how do we move on from this? I’m very conflicted and full of a lot of emotions but I love him dearly.
Edit: details.
2024.05.15 02:05 Downtown-Nature4418 FIL blew out daughter’s birthday candle?
FIL blew out daughter’s birthday candle?
My daughter recently turned 2. At her birthday party, after we all finished singing the happy birthday song, she attempted to blow out her birthday candle for 8 seconds. I know her attempt was only 8 seconds exactly because we have this moment on film. A few family members were cheering her on: “Almost!” “You got this!”
At that point, her grandfather, my FIL, blew out her candle over her shoulder. Everyone, including myself, yelled ”Yay!” and the moment quickly moved forward, but in my mind I was like, did that really just happen? I didn’t get to process the moment until recently, and after some more frustrating antics from my FIL on Mother’s Day, I am becoming more angry reflecting on the fact that he blew her birthday candle out. LOL like excuse me, what?! I am absolutely positive that if one of the other children at her party blew out her birthday candle, the poor behavior would have been recognized/addressed by that child’s parent. I talked about it with my best friend this afternoon and she shared that it bothered her when it happened because my FIL took away my daughter’s moment- he really did! What the heck?!
Unfortunately, the opportunity to address it in the moment has passed.
It is probably in my best interest to just let this one go, but I am struggling with my anger (and I am usually not an angry person!). Words of wisdom? What would you do? End rant & thank you in advance for reading listening!
*Also, it’s not like she was spitting on the cake whatsoever. My husband and I were also directly next to her, so was there was zero chance of a fire / safety issue.
submitted by Downtown-Nature4418 to inlaws [link] [comments]
My daughter recently turned 2. At her birthday party, after we all finished singing the happy birthday song, she attempted to blow out her birthday candle for 8 seconds. I know her attempt was only 8 seconds exactly because we have this moment on film. A few family members were cheering her on: “Almost!” “You got this!”
At that point, her grandfather, my FIL, blew out her candle over her shoulder. Everyone, including myself, yelled ”Yay!” and the moment quickly moved forward, but in my mind I was like, did that really just happen? I didn’t get to process the moment until recently, and after some more frustrating antics from my FIL on Mother’s Day, I am becoming more angry reflecting on the fact that he blew her birthday candle out. LOL like excuse me, what?! I am absolutely positive that if one of the other children at her party blew out her birthday candle, the poor behavior would have been recognized/addressed by that child’s parent. I talked about it with my best friend this afternoon and she shared that it bothered her when it happened because my FIL took away my daughter’s moment- he really did! What the heck?!
Unfortunately, the opportunity to address it in the moment has passed.
It is probably in my best interest to just let this one go, but I am struggling with my anger (and I am usually not an angry person!). Words of wisdom? What would you do? End rant & thank you in advance for reading listening!
*Also, it’s not like she was spitting on the cake whatsoever. My husband and I were also directly next to her, so was there was zero chance of a fire / safety issue.
2024.05.15 02:05 Party_Address5341 Why am I not good enough? seriously?
(29M) About a year ago I got out of an abusive relationship. My former partner(Female a year older than me) would not hesitate to be mentally abusive, and on some occasions physically. She was also financially abusive. And controlling. My former partner had BPD and knew lots of ways to manipulate my neuro divergent tendencies. Things like telling me i was stupid, I was nothing without her, I didnt have any friends ect. The instances of abuse were always framed as my fault because in her words I "just pushed her and pushed her and pushed her". a year ago I escaped that situation and since then have not really shown any interest in having an intimate relationship with anyone in that time. I was also in therapy and still am. Even though I didn't try to pursue an relationship, women would still show interest in me and these things have been detrimental to my self worth because these women show interest and then for whatever reason are deterred from ever talking to me again. The first instance was a girl that showed a lot of interest and even gave me her number with out me asking for it we texted for 2 months and she began to text me less and less. I eventually just asked her about it and said that she didn't want to give me the idea we could be more than friends even though she was the one who pursued me and wanted to talk about deeply personal topics like the kind you would if you were romantically interested in some one. I decided to just move on but this did make me feel really dejected and like I was unfit for anyone to really want to consider me as their partner unless they had ulterior motives of control and abuse as those seem to be the only relationships I've been in throughout my adult life. Which is only reinforced by my cycle of thinking as I didn't date or even have a lot of friends in my teen years. After this I met a girl at a bar who was actually working there. I know that bar staff are supposed to make you feel welcome and be overly friendly as I've been in quite a few, but this was different. I would come to this bar with a friend of mine and it was known and would be well on display that I was the designated driver. I've never really been much of a drinker, my friend on the other hand enjoys his libations. He tends to ask me to go because he knows I can keep him in check, and because I train martial arts can keep the situation under control if things get out of hand. Essentially he knows I can ensure he's safe and I can keep a conversation going. Anyway this girl notices I'm the dd because I'll only get a water when we come in and starts to leave from behind the bar and bring me a water when we walk in regularly. We also start to engage in conversation pretty heavily. So one night I came in by myself because my friends work schedule had changed I gather all my courage and ask her for her number. She seems pretty happy about this since we had been talking for the better part of 3hrs before hand and she even gave me a hug before I left. I texted her a little while after leaving the bar so she would also have my number. I received no reply. I figured she was busy so I didn't think too much of it. A whole week goes by with no reply. I finally decided to send a text jokingly asking her if she was ghosting me. I get a one sentence reply stating "heeyyy I've been busy" about an hour and a half later. I text her back "hey don't apologize I'm here when you're ready to talk" I meant it as a nonchalant reply like "hey no rush I'd just like to talk when your free" I wasn't upset or anything but I suppose it could've been misconstrued as being passive aggressive. That being said she never replied to me again. The feelings I mentioned previously creep back in and I don't even talk to another woman until almost 7 months later. This was also not a planned instance as I had gone out to a bar to participate in a kind of baby shower type get together a friend of mine was having. I didn't plan on talking to anyone who was woman, especially since the party I was going to was divided by gender as some celebrations of a child being on the way will be. I had already been at this bar for a few hours and was planning on leaving until my friends wife decided to bring her party over to the same bar and it ended up being just a casual hang out as the women that were involved with the mother's part of the get-together were now intermingling amongst us. As this was happening I had noticed one of the women had a tattoo of the avenged sevenfold logo on her back. I struck up a conversation with her about how I was a fan of theirs in junior high and so were my friends. We then continued to chat and I found out that we actually had a lot of things in common not just music taste,and that we both played guitar, but also stances on politics and humor and just about anything else we talked about. I talked to this woman for close to 8hrs we even went around the corner to a pub to get food. While we were doing this she invited me to come over to her apartment we then proceeded to sit on her couch and share different songs and genres we liked with eachother and talking about life, while smoking weed as she had a prescription and I suppose didn't want to be rude so offered me some. I'm not a smoker really but obliged. While this was going on I did disclose to her my financial situation and that I lived with my parents because I was trying to get back on my feet again. She seemed really supportive about this as well. We later started watching the show black mirror and were starting to get closer physically her legs were draped over one of mine. Her chest was over top of mine. My arm had slid behind her back and our faces were a bit close. I'm really cautious about consent and personal space because of the abuse I went through so I asked her "hey would I ruin the vibe if I kissed you?" Kind of nervously as I was a little high. She just kind of giggled and said she liked to take things slow. I said it wasn't a problem and respected her decision and we continued watching back mirror in the same position. Later she said she was going to go to bed and I said I would sleep on the couch. I kicked off my shoes and was laying on the couch still high. The door to her bedroom which was across the apartment from the couch only about 8ft away was open and I turned my head and asked "hey did you want me to come to bed with you?" She said yes so I promptly went into the bedroom and we began cuddling. I fell asleep. The next day I woke up and we still cuddling. We both kind of woke up at the same time. We talked a little while still pretty much spooning eachother. While we were doing this she kissed me. We then kind of softly made out, talked a little got out of bed sat on the couch, kissed a few more times, watched black mirror. This whole time I've gotten 2 calls from a friend of mine who I am in a band with we practice on Sundays and I was going to be late I considered not showing up but ultimately relented and decided I didn't want to be clingy and wear out my welcome especially since I hadn't planned on any of this and she had slightly been hinting about starting her Sunday routine and I didnt want to throw off her process to get her week started. So I decided to leave. I kissed her again told her I'd really like to see her again and left. A few hours later while I was at band practice I sent her a meme She replied about a day later. Since then our texting was really scant. She did disclose when we met that she wasn't on her phone a lot and didn't text that much so I chalked it up to that. I tried to really have a conversation going but couldn't. I also asked if she wanted to hang out that Thursday as I had the day off. She said she was busy which I thought no problem. Oddly enough I got an update on Facebook that she had posted in a musicians page I'm a part of about wanting to meet up and jam with other people that same day. Also we didn't add eachother on social media so she had no idea if I would see this. I though it was weird but didn't really think anything of it outside of "hey I play guitar too why can't we hang out and play?" After that I got sick and she happened to stop texting me. The next week I sent another meme and sparked a sparse text conversation that went nowhere. Then a few days after that on the advice of my therapist I decided to just ask her out on a date. I was ignored. This made me feel like utter fucking shit. As well as being confused as to why she would spend so much time with me, kiss me, and even half ass text me. To just ignore me. The thoughts I previously mentioned crept back into my skull and were very intense. I started to spiral and think why it would happen. I thought about my physical attributes, about how I was over six foot tall, about how I was in decent shape, about how even some of my male friends and people in a professional environment had told me I should be a model, that I was "handsome". I'm kind and compassionate. I try to be a great conversationalist. It just didn't make any sense to me it didn't feel fair. I was heartbroken as I thought I had met someone who actually appreciated my taste in music (she Even told me I had good taste in music), the fact I was kind of awkward. She liked my point of view and ideas on things. She liked that I looked out for my friends. She seemed to accept me. After all of that she didn't it wasn't even real I guess. Since then I was having a lot of negative thoughts I even found some old Facebook messages this girl I had known had sent me when I was a teen in which she was emotionally manipulating me Essentially wanting me to be limerent (she had even posted on my wall about how she cared about me and was sorry she couldn't make it to my graduation that she never intended on going to) which added to all of this negative thinking I had been experiencing lately. (I even thought to myself I sounded like an incel which also was disheartening those people suck and I dont even want to be considered in the same catagory as men who would treat women that way) I really just don't know what my problem is and I just don't want to try to get back in to dating as well because I don't like this feeling of being dejected and not feeling worthy of some one else's love. I'm left with this deep hurt and I just want to say fuck it I'm done.
submitted by Party_Address5341 to rejectionsensitive [link] [comments]