Dost ki badi bahen ki chodai

Sal tha Do-Sau-Chauda,
Or usi saal unhone hum subko pela!
Ghotalon ki barish thi, chaya tha andhkar
Anna Hazare baithe gaye anshan par, o nadiya par!
Pradarshan toh tab hua karte the! Hum sab tab andolan jeevi hua karte the!
Ab toh reed ki haddi humne sone ke sath bechdi, Kyunki unhone pyarse kaha "say no to muft ki revdi"
Jab anna daata bhi desh drohi kehla diya jaye,
Jab humari rakshe karne wala sainik hi mehenga lag jaye,
Jab Himalaya ki unchaiyon ko kam karne ki tadap lag jaye,
Tab ache din bohot yad aye!
Asli ghuspatiya toh woh mahamari thi - meri ma, meri hasi, meri roti - sab le gai!
Par jab Pradhan Mantri ne TV par akar do ansun bahaye tab tali bajakar hum sab dukh-bhaye mukht hoye!
Jab jata tha main pathshala,
Doston ki maa - kabhi ami, kabhi aai, kabhi bebe, kabhi amma, kehti thi "tu bhi toh mera beta hain!"
Yad ati hain tab sochta hun, kahan hain woh mera dost - meri ma ka dhyan toh rakh raha hain na?
Bhai, meri yad toh ati hain na?
Haye, ache din, bohot yad aye.

so aj subha abhi 10 15 mnt pehly hi mien aor mera chota bhai walk py gye hoay thy rasty min ek lrka mila uska mobile neechy gira to mery bhai ny thora sa hns diya tha to wo usy galliyan deny lg prha tha......is bad py mene usko confront kia to wo kehta hy mien teri enkien aor isky dant toor don ga mene aj tk wo ma bhen ki galiyan ni di to i was quiet mostly time but jab wo agy agy marny ata to i stood up na aor wo kehny lrkon ko pass sy bulany lg prha do teeen bar bulaya tha pr shd kisi ny suna ni tha is liye koi ni aya itny mien mera dost aya wo bhi meri trha introvert(?) hi hy to usny us lrky ki mintien trly kiye lekin wo kehta mien inhien nhi choron ga udr aor koi bra admi bhi ni tha
ab masla yeh hy k hum gaon sy aye hoay hien aor yahan hamien is location py 2 3 saal hoay hien lekin yahan hamara koi janany wala nahi hy mery abu army retired hy(hawaldar) and indino wo skht bemar hien(he got burned at his new job) i dont have mama jo jaky unky ghr bat kr sky lekin wo bat krny wala lg ni rha tha
ab wo kehta hy k mien lrky bula ky apny tum dono aor tumhary bap ko v pkr k maron ga aor sath hi galiyan dy ra tha and am so scared cuz i dont have anyone to fight for me niether do i have any solution to get rid of this,i cant file complain first of all if i did nothing will happen secndly am under 18 yet if that matters and thirdly i dont wanna tell my father q k wo abhi khhud recover kr rhy hien aor unhien itni pareshaniyan hien peso ki apni jaidad ki n all
so what to do now am scared as hell q k wo ghndy type ni hoty us trha ka tha wo i got my lil sis in my home my aunt and her daughter will also be coming back what if he attacked our house or something yar shareef hona is zamany mien apni grdn py churi pherny wala kam hy but ab mien khud ko change to ni kr skta na aor agr kron bhi to kiya kron!??

I've decided to take a drop for JEE 2025 (online) coz offline me 2 saal Papa ke 2lakh barbad krne ke baad ab himmat nai bachi aur 1 lakh barbad krne ki, I was never like this before, Hasta tha, enjoy krta tha, doston ki kami nai thi, marks bhi ache aate the, female interaction bhi kafi zyada tha but ab at this moment kuch ni raha na dost, na marks, na kisi ka support kuch nai.
Kal se I'll start grinding back once again for my ultimate GOAL kyuki itna downfall dekh liya ab mere se dekha ni jayega aur genuinely so taking inspiration from Daksh bhai kal se I'll start posting my daily goals accomplished and my study hours

emito ee jeevitham, oka Vyardam, Bhatuku oka anavasara yuddam, deniko ardam kaadu ee vyadha yokka yadardam.
bathukulaatalo.., padatham, lestam.., munduki veltuntam.., aah matram ke kastam aipoinda.., kondaru saafi konasagistey., kondaru sukam lo kuda kasta lu chustaru.., mari kondaru kastalalo kuda thoti vallaki soukyam panchutaru., aah vedana vallu chendutaru.., vitlo manam ye rakamo manam mundey aneskuntam.., kani manam atyadika rakam., entha kasta padina kastalu nake unnaye anukune rakam.
avunu enno paddam.., Inka na valla kadu.., deniki ee sangharshana.., evari kosam ee Manasthapana.., enno anukunna.., anni vifalam avtunnai.., prathi vaifalyam ki Karanam ga evarini chupettali.., badi lo thoti vaadu Baga chadivadu ani nindha vaani medha., kalashalalo andaru churuku ga unnaru Ani aparadha akkada vari medha.., baaga udgyogam lo ranincharu ani saha udgyogula paina., Baga sampadincharu ani snehithula paina.., ilaga nindani neduthu., manam aparadame cheyani nindhitulam ga nilabadatam manaki alavtu yega., avunu paddam ento ksta paddam..., intlo vari kosam nachina chaduvu odilesam.., nanna kosam prayogalu manesi udgyam lo sthira paddam., Amma kosam nachina ammaini odilesi tyga pelli ki sidda paddam.., nannamma, ammama lakosam pilla Lani kani yavvanam tyagam chesam., bharya kosam samayam.., umpudugathe kosam jeethamm., ilaga manasuki sukam. lekunda jeevitam anta aparadham lekunda nindalu chestha tyagam ki gurtimpu lekundaa batikesam.
Aina ivvani nakem telusu, inta inta tiruguthu.., intlo jarigi kastalu vinta undhaa.., illa badha lu vinalekaa..,
Oka taadu kattukoni, daniki unna Baruvu ni pai nundi kindaku dimpaa..,
hamma pranam haiga poindi.., unna Baruvu odilii poindi.., dimpi auto lo sardandiraa., next fridge, biruva lu ostunnai.., Edo kooli kosam illu marepudu ochey koololam., see kastala venka badha makem yeruke.., pranam potey ochey haiyi villakem yerukee

(kafam dağınıkken yazdıgım için cümle hataları düzensiz geçişler ve boş karamsarlık olabilir)
çocukluğumdan beri çok yalnızdım genelde ailem dışında konuşacak,dertleşecek kimsem olmazdı bundan dolayı çok karamsar olarak büyüdüm ve ailem ile de fazla konuşmazdım zaten bu yüzden içine atan içe dönük biri oldum var oluş sancıları ve yalnızlığın acısı benim için normaldi ama acı vericiydi anksiyete krizlerimde bile yalnızdım yanimda nadiren biri olurdu oda abimdi ki o da fazla yanımda olmazdı anlaşılması zor biriydim galiba bu yüzden saatlerce yürürdüm bu acıları daha katlanilabilir yapıyordu ve kendime zarar verecek enerji bırakmıyordu ama bir gün şöyle seslendim kendime "artık yükünü paylaşabileceğin birine ihtiyacın var" ve bu işte az çok bir şeyler yaptım sohbet ettim güldüm güldürdüm ve benzeri aktiviteler ve yalnızlığın bir arkadaşla dinecegine emindim en azından böyle öğrenmiştim zaman içinde etrafımdaki insan sayısı arttı ama hepsi ya yalancı yada zaman öldürüyordu zaten neredeyse hepsi gitti kalanlar da toplasan iki veya üç kişidir ama o güzel insanlarla konuşurken bile hissediyordum yalnızlığımın beni yiyip bitirdiğini ve bunu çok saçma bulmuştum yalnız değildim etrafımda beni anlayan dinleyen insanlar doluydu ama yalnızlık hala dişlerini bana geçiriyor her gece geliyor ve kulaklarıma şu sözleri fısıldıyordu "yalnizsın yapayalnız" ve o an anlamıştım kalabalık arkadaş gruplarında bile yalnız olduğumuzu ve bunu hala saçma buluyorum dünya yalnızlarla dolu ama dost isteyenler dost isteyenleri bulamıyordu yalnızlar insanlar arasında bile yalnızdı
kısa özet olarak şu şiir beni iyi anlatır
hayat ne anlamsız hele ki yalnız kaldığınızda bir yakınım ölümünü düşünürken bir aşk hikayesi sayıklarken bir yalana inanmayı seçerken ve hepsinin sonunun kötü olacağını bilirsiniz ama bunlara rağmen onları düşünmekten ve sevmekten vaz gecemeyiz insan olarak ne kadar da aciziz özellikle tanrının labirentinde dünya yalnızlar ve sevgisizlerle dolu ve hiç biri bulamaz birbirini sadece bizi kıran insanları buluruz hatta insanın gelmesi kadar gitmesinide normal buluruz ne kadar saçma değil mi?

05 ki hoon. ek aur saal de diya phir toh 20 saal ki ho jaungi. Baaki school ke dost sab 2nd year complete kar liye honge college mein. Aur aesa koi fix nahi hota college agle saal bhi milegi.
Iss baar 550 aa raha. Papa toh obsess hi ho gaye hain ki beti ko doctor banake chodunga.
5 saal mbbs matlab 25 ki hungi jab tak khatam hoga, phir MD wagera bhi hota hai. Plus ye bhi koi jannat si course nahi hai, toxic hai bolte hain.
Idk kya kar rahi mein. Papa ko khush karne ke liye kuch bhi kar sakti hoon. Aur life mein itna fail hote hote woh zeal khudmein aur aa hi nahi rahi hai ki kuch karna hai. Bas papa ke liye hi karna hai sochke 2nd drop ka socha hai.
Aur ye nahi bhi toh kya karun aur. pcb se hoon mujhe koi aur field interest nahi dilata hai plus scale bhi accha nahi dikh raha. private aur semi government nahi lena kyunki financially burden karna nahi parents ko aur.
Online se karungi iss baar. 1st drop offline liya tha. Toh tablet lene ka soch rahi par lagta hai itni bojh bane ja rahi hoon parents pe ki itna paise kharch karne ko bura lag raha.
I never imagine I'd be in this place. My younger self would so mad if she saw me today.

Let her say (Y)
main 22 saal ka hoon. Mujhe abhi tak yaad hai woh din jab main (Y) se pehli baar mila tha. Woh 20 saal ki thi, masoom si, hansmukh, aur bohot pyaari. Hum dono university mein mile the aur jaldi hi dost ban gaye. Dosti pyaar mein badli aur humne socha ke zindagi saath bitayenge.
Humara rishta bohot mazboot tha, kam az kam mujhe aisa lagta tha. Hum har din milte, ghanton baat karte, aur har baat share karte. Uske bina meri zindagi adhoori thi. Lekin, kuch mahine pehle mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagne laga. (Y) ka rawayya badal gaya tha, woh aksar busy rehti aur meri calls aur messages ka jawab dena kam kar diya tha.
Ek din, jab main uske ghar gaya bina bataye, to mujhe sach ka pata chala. (Y) ek aur larke ke saath thi, aur un dono ko dekh kar meri dunya ujadh gayi. Us din mujhe samajh aaya ke woh mujhe cheat kar rahi thi. Meri aankhon ke saamne uska asliyat aagayi. Dil toot gaya, lekin main chup raha.
Wapas aake main ne usse baat ki, usse pucha ke kyun? Woh sirf rote hue maafi mangti rahi, lekin us waqt mujhe uski kisi baat pe yakeen nahi tha. Har wo lamha jo humne saath bitaya tha, mujhe jhoot lagne laga.
(Y) ke bina jeena mushkil tha, lekin main ne faisla kiya ke mujhe strong rehna hai. Aaj bhi, uski yaadein mujhe sataati hain, lekin main ne seekh liya ke apne aap ko kabhi kisi ke bharose pe na chhodun.
Mera pehla pyar adhoora reh gya 😔😔

Har subject me ache marks agaaye siwaaye maths ke mujhe pata tha maths me kam ayega but itna kam socha nahi tha i had thought ki at least 60 aajayenge utna bhi aajata to bhi thik hojata , maths me saala ganda kaate he maths me mujhe lagta he iss saal mera hi sabse bura chuda he maths,me kyunki mere dosto ka maths me boht ache marks aaye he Mere 75/100 aye he maths aur baaki sab me 90+ he boht ache bas maths ki waje se pura percentage chudgyaa 89.2% agaya main subjects ko agar consider kru abb bologe best 5 lene but best 5 leke kya faida maths to ek main subject he usko to consider krna padega na best 5 me AI ayega usko jaga Par AI Ki Konsi respect he phir bolenge " ye maths me chudgaya he isliye AI leke percentage badhake bolrha" Jab dost ke khudse zaada aajaye na boht dukh hota wo bhi uska jo tumhare level ka hi he jiska padhne ka level tumhari tarha he me uska ni bolrha jo ki hamesha se acha tha Mere saare dosto ka maths acha gaya kyunki tha hi wesa but mera bura chuda. Kher chodo jo hogaya so hogaya abb 11 12 vi ki chudaap chalegi but ye mere liye ek daag zarur hogaya result pe
Iam sorry for the big paragraph but i needed to vent out because this is bugging me very much

so , 10th pass kari thi maine , and me covid batch se tha , 10th me utne acche khaase friends the nhi , then uske baad , gaav gaya and announce hua ki sab paas hogaye , july me wapis bangalore aaya , teachers ne result pucha and i was like xx , then unhone pucha "which college beta " , maine kaha mam me issi school me continue karunga , mam ne bola "what tumne abhi tak college join nhi kari ? maine bola no mam . As maine socha ki jaisa chal raha hai chalta rahega , uske baad admission ke time mam ne pucha neet ya jee maine tukka maara neet , (not having the knowlegde about it )and 7 din tak bio padha and uske baad mam se bolke cs me shift hogaya like pcmc . sab kuch accha chal raha tha and din aata hai xx august 20xx , jis din meri crush ne mujhe propose kara (maine bina hich kichaye accept karliya , me jo kisi cheez ke laaayak nhi hu, if usse crush propose kare to socho meri khushi kya hogi ) uske baad 12th boards hogaye and mere xx kuch aaye , uske baad gaav chala gaya and colleges ka koi plan nhi kiya , kcet ka application form aise hi bhardiya and then maze kar raha tha and uss time meri gf bolti hai ki wo drop le rahi hai and mere gaaav ke ek dost ne bhi drop liya tha , so me aise hi influence hoke drop leliya bina kuch soche samjhe bus aise hi maze keliye but june tak time pass kiya and bangalore aake bhi aise hi baitha raha kabhi socha ki business karunga ya kabhi socha ki jee karunga , uske chalte august aagaya and me padh raha tha atleast 6 hours a day accha khasa chal raha tha , then aata hai november jisme meri gf karti hai mujhse break up , uske baad me gaya pooore depression me , lekin kuch din baad approz 10 days baad wapis ek hojate hai and uske baad se mera padhai se mannn uth gaya tha , gym chod di thi aise hi scroll karta tha , then wapis aata feb jisme humaara hota hai break up cuz usse abroad move hona tha , (just ek question hai ki if usse pata tha ki wo jaane waali hai then kyu relationship me aayi ? ) and at last jab maine ye question usse 4-5 baar pucha usne mujhe toxic boldiya , jisne usko support kiya 1.5 years , uski koi importance nhi thi ??? , bola karti thi , "hubby u are like my new home " but then last me boht bura bola , dk meri kya galti thi , and then maine jee attempt 1 and 2 dono diya and okay okay percentile aayi thi 87 something , ab jee advanced ka preparation chalu hai jisme mujhe lagta hai ki acche marks nhi aayenge , plus kcet me 20 marks choot gaye so ab bus 50 marks aayenge out of 141 , and boards ke result ka consideration nhi Hoga as me dropper hu , (kcet results are calculated on the basis of 50%boards and 50 %kcet ) , no state college no iit no nit no vit , ab kya karu , according to me me itna hoshiyar hu ki like me easily 95 score kar sakta tha bus mann nhi tha isliye padha nhi , so please batao ki kya karu , drop lu for nit ? ya koi ghatiya si college me admission lu? and then ?
ps : ( mujhe pata hai meri carelessness thi , but atleast ab batado kya karu ?) -"-"-

to kal vo live aaya tha or bola ki maine Ishita ke bare m show m ek bhi line nhi boli h(ha vd m iska bhoot aaya tha bolne🤡, Ishita ne pehle cheat kiya vo isne neend m bola tha syd tbhi yad nhi h💀😂) fir he changed the statement and said ki Ishita ne 50% boli h to usne 15% boli h, fir bola maine live pr aajtak nhi bola uske against kuch(accha jii😂) , usne Unnati ke against reel dali h, story dali mere against, live pr aake royi, usne sab kiya mujhe girane ke liye or mujhe bht hate aaya (yrr but tumlogo ne start nhi kiya tha kya pehle? tumhare hi fans jake use despo, unnati se km sundar, digvijay ke piche padi h bolke aare the na 💀) fir bola, kya maine ek bar bhi react kiya? Nhi maine nhi kiya (yrr kitni easily jhuth bolta h, isine narrative set kiya tha na ki Ishita ne kuch to aisa kiya h jo bat agar bahar aagyi to use bht buri hate milegi?🤡😂), he said jab usne vo story lgai thi I lost it maine socha ye kya bolri h fir apne ek dost se bat ki ye bht jyada krri h to tu ise samjhale agar mera dimag fata to galat hojayega(yrr tere bina dimag fate hi bht galat hogya tha or ab or galat hogya, tune aake aaj firse narrative set krdiya ki she tried to defame you🤡😂) bolra itna chdega koi to control nhi hoga, but maine control kiya(yrr control to Ishita ne kiya, show pr bhi bahar aake bhi, you guys started it, ishita ne to bola bhi nhi kuch but uski respect ka kya?)
Brackets m mere reactions h to what he said.

Just realised NTA ne iss saal ke almost saare exams mein baccho ki gend maari hai. I think this is their personal best as of yet,we should congratulate them 1. We all know the 27th and 4th wala JEE fuckup, mera dost jisko hamesha haste hue dekha tha woh rone jaisi halat mein tha after the result. Honourable mention: Bhayankar Reddy🥵 2. NEET centre fuckups, ghatiya centres utha ke diye the baccho ko with bad faculty. There's that video that went viral just recently about that girl from Patna,and there are many more examples. 3. CUET Delhi walo ko kaafi jaldi yaad aaya election duties ka, this is a central agency that we're supposed to trust with our hardwork, aur yeh Babu log yeh sab kar rahe hai.
Take care homies, we're stuck with this apeshit of a system and we'll have to do with it,just keep working hard. And do your needful if you ever get a chance to improve this system(UPSC wale especially) Edit: 6s1,not 4,galti ho gayi🙏🏽

So I gave my 12 boards in year 2022, scored decent percentage(86%) CBSE board so like every other aspirant I thinked let's take drop for 1 year... When I gave jee with 12 I scored around 50 percentile(was not taking any coaching or any sorts of tution,na hi 11 12 mai koi tuition lo boards ke liye yt se padhta tha sirf) so when I write exam after one year of drop I scored 62 percentile in my first attempt aur second attempt mai 69 percentile.... I was shattered whole year I think ki agar 130-120 bhi le aya to state ke nit mai easily ho Jayega kisi circuital branch mai(I belongs to HP, here a general male candidate can easily get any circuital branch if you score 96-97 percentile due to home state quota). So I thought ki ab to kuch nhi hoga but fir ek din ek dost ne bola ki Bhai tu second drop lele.. I thought is year 96 percentile 140 Tak bani hai moderate shift mai to agar ek saal acche se padha to 160-180 tk le aunga(My first mistake ki maine apna goal hi chota seat Kiya like 180 number) Second drop le liya.. starting mai sab sahi ja raha tha up to July scoring good marks in mock like 110-120ish.Iwas happy ki chalo last year se progress ho rhi hai exam Tak 160-180 ho ji jayega...I didn't join any offline coaching was preparing from my home by pw prayas batch( My second mistake ki maine apne comfort zone Mai reh kar padhai karna decide Kiya, I know ki most of log aap mai se bolenge ki Bhai online Ghar se padh kar bhi ho jata hai and I completely agree with you but the thing is if you are preparing online for such big competitive exam you need to be disciplined which In my case was lacking)cut to Second drop result I scored same percentile like last year... Fully fucked up I know ki kuch nhi milega is pe aur kismat itni acchi ki is year 2024 jab exam Diya to first attempt 27 Jan shift2 thi aur second attempt mai 6 April shift 1 which you guys know ki dono mai hi high marks pe low percentile bni hai due to several reasons but mai apni failure ko is se nhi excuse kar raha.. I didn't study properly and I failed that simple ... Jab se exam aya hai zayda tar Ghar pe hi rehta hun aur ab bas suicidal thoughts hi ate haii... Most of the time depressed rehna ... Mai apne aap ko koi bahut bekar student nhi manta agar mehnat krte lag ke to ho jata but ab vo time chala gya aur mai bas ye cheez is liye idhar likh Raha hun kyunki ye sab baate sab log nhi smj sakte ... I hope ki mai mar jaun jitna jldi ho sake taki ye sab baate sochne nhi pdhe

Something crazy happened today and I still couldn't believe it! (context: I live in mumbai and this incident took on local station)
So me and my mother had to go to some family function but I couldn't go due to preparation for advanced. Still I thought I'll drop her till station, so we reached there and I took ticket for her (as there was a long queue) , I didn't took platform ticket for me (no one takes actually) as it was just a matter of 2 minutes.
So train came, I waved her a goodbye and when I was going down the stairs, I was caught by a TC (ticket collector) He asked for my ticket , I said "Mai toh sirf mummy ko drop karne aaya tha." As expected he didn't listened , I told him the whole story but he wasn't convinced.
Then he took me to the railway office where all the TCs stay during there work hours. Then they asked "Platform ticket kyu nahi liya?" I said "Just 2 minute ke liye gaya tha platform pe mummy ko drop karne aap toh piche hi padd gaye ho" (I was hella frustrated as time waste ho raha tha faltu ka)
He asked for fine but I had no wallet, no phone as I left home in rush. I started to defend myself like every normal person will do (I accept it was my fault) but still I tried to defend myself, I said "Paise ghar se laake deta hu, aap pareshan kar rahe ho ab." He got triggered and said to his other TC, "ISKO LOCK UP MAI DAALO" (in really high tone), at that moment I went blank but then I said "Sir I'm just a student in class 12th , how can you lock up a child under 18, (although I'm 19, drop year tha)
Then I pulled the ultimate move , there was a huge hoarding by my coaching of jee mains result with my photo and percentile on it and luckily it was visible from the office, I said "Voh dekho, meri photo bhi lagi hai itni badi uss hoarding pe with 99.xx percentile, Do you think I'll do this on purpose?" (idk why I said it as this doesn't make any sense)
Expression of that TC completely changed and his next line made me lose it, He said "Thik hai sir, AAP jao" with a really really soft tone.
I am still shocked ki ye kya hua par jo bhi hua aacha laga.

Guys,last 2 years i didnt study anything also same story hai jo kaafi log pehle bhi bta rakhe hai focus chuda hai kuch nhi padhta aaj tak hazaro baar start kia or haal ye hai 3 4 ch se zyada kuch nhi pdha 12vi last me 1 month padha hu tum log believe kro ya nhi usse zyada bilkul nhi sch bol rha hu math me 5 day k gap me 10 ch kia hu yt se ncert nyi ki nyi padi hai jo bhi hai 0 pecrent aa gye Bahut chutiya hu manta hu but Ek cheez pakka socha hu krunga to btech cse (i know beggars cant be chosers but i want to change my life upside down) Jo hua hua ab i know kuch saalo ki galti se zindagi kharab nhi hone dunga Dekho scratch se padhna hai mughko aise krna hai ki agle saal atleast ek ache pvt me cse mil jaye ki naami college thoda ho ya koi thik thak gvt mil jaye cse is baar toh jee 60 percentile hai kuch kaha milega aisa kya kru aap btao ki cse nikaal lu next year delhi ke koi thik gvt college me ya koi ek thik pvt me hi (delhi ka candidate hu toh kuch state quotra bhi lag sakta hai shayad) Dekho Resources Socha hu maths -gb sir apni kaksha Phy fastlane Chem ioc and pc fastlane alk sir and oc ka abhi socha nhi kya ye thik rhegaga ? Mains ka kr rha hu isliye kuch kuch me normal lane k jagah faastlane se krunga practice ko time dene k liye ....kya ye thik rhega ?? Kuch or ho sakta hai to btaye sochta hu 98 plus percentile ka aim rakhu but hota thodi hai aim se kuch itna kam time hai agar ana oga toh momentum ban jayega khud kuch mahine me samjh jaunga kitna ban sakte hai Meri ek bahud badi problem hai ki hamesha 20 days max padhke burnout fir 20 din yt wagera me waste matlab hamesha yeh hota hai kya kru aap btao ab nhi kr sakta ye mai soch rha hu youtube ko apne dincharya se eliminate krne k liye koi substitution bta sakte ho jo thoda entertaining ho ? also resource k liye socha hai comeptishun ex 1 and jee main ex sab pls help kro please bhut dukhi hun...........

Jee ni hua pehle s1 me to socha chlo 2nd me nikal lunga fir boards diye boards theek gye the meko laga tha 75+ ajayenge Aram se fir lag gya jee ke liye behenchod paper se 1.5 hafte pehle asthma hogya poore curriculum ki ma chudgyi dhang se ni padhpaya aur vo bi ni nikla result aya as expected me bits me judgya tayyari set thi mocks me 220+ board ka result aya aur m chudgya pehle to meko laga tha bits consider 60% in boards fir asal criteria ab dekha to lole lag gye ... Mere parents mere board ke result se bahut khush hai ham bahar bi gye the maine bahut situations tackle kri kyuki aur Maine ek tution ni lagai in whole 11/12 so they were proud that I was on my own but uhe abi bi lagra me bits dunga par I'm not eligible kis muu se btau bhai unhe 😔 mere rishtedar ache hai dost ache hai in these terms but bimario ne apni ma chudwali poore 2 saal yehi hua hai

So let me start by telling abt how my jee journey has been till now. Mera bachpan se (mtlb 5th-6th) se hi IIT B Jane ka sapna tha 🤡. Mujhe nit aut iits ke bare mein kafi pehle se pata hai. Kyunki mere papa nit trichy se hai, chacha nit warangal aur dusre chacha IIT B se hai (under 100 air thi). Isliye bachapan se hi soch Raha hoon ki IIT B jaunga. There was no pressure from my parents to do engineering. 10th mein 96 percentage the (100 percetage in maths and science). 10th ke result ke baad bada confidence aaya 🤡. Fiitjee aur aakash dono ke entrance mein 75% scholarship mil gayi. Aakash ki coaching join ki. 11th ke aadhe khatam hone Tak aukaat pata chal gayi thi, isliye tha ki bas NIT T miljaye. Let's cut to the present. Baki ki story kisi aur din. 11th poori barbaad hogayi. 12th mein mehnat karke saara portion khatam Kiya upto mains level. Physics and Chem ka 75% portion advanced level Tak tha. Mocks mein bhi acha score karna laga. Jan AYJR mein expected 99.2 %ile Tha. But got the dreaded shift 27 S1. Result ke din zindagi upside down hogayi soch Raha tha ab focus hokar advanced ke liye padhunga lekin sirf 97.1 percentile bani ( scored 205 marks). 27S1 ke sadme se jab Tak nikal paaya tab Tak boards aagye the. Boards ke baad 1 mahina tha jee S2 ke liye. Mai bas revision karta tha aur mocks deta tha. Score kafi fluctuate hone laga tha. Kabhi score 220+ to kabhi 180. Easy questions mein silly errors karne ki buri aadat hogayi thi. AYJR April mein silly errors ke Karan sirf 98 percentile expected aai. Fir 4S2 mein 60 questions attempt karke aaya. Score check karne par sirf 182 hi Bane. Maths mere expectation se bohot lengthy thi, iske Karan mark for review questions ko check karne ka time hi nahi mila aur wo almost saare mark for review galat hogaye. Chem ke ek question mein structure correct banaya lekin no of bonds galat gin liye. I could have genuinely scored 225+ easily but due to me being stupid gave a lot of time to maths and fucked up physics and chem. Sirf 98.2 percentile hi bani.. Ab advanced se koi hopes nahi, maths adv level ka ghanta kuch nahi aata. My father wants me to go to bits, lekin I can't seem to justify the 24 lakh fees. We don't have a ton of money and 24 lakh is a very significant amount for us. Jab bhi padhne jaata hoon, man hi nahi hota, somehow I just don't get motivation to study for bits.. Drop ke liye papa maan nahi rahe. I genuinely believe ki drop year mai I will do better because burnout is not an issue for me (atleast for now) aur social life ki chinta nhi hai. 11th aur 12th itne lonliness mai guzri hai ki ab farak nhi padta. Sirf ek acha dost ban paya. Aur 10th ka friend group poora break hogaya. Ek ladki, kafi close friend thi ab msg karne par reply bhii nhi deti. Last proper female interaction 10th mein hi tha.. Anyways it is what it is. You guys suggest what should I do now. Take a drop or prepare for bits?

So yesterday board exams came out . I didn't know because my father took my phone with him(I don't know why) and I woke up late. My bestie called me and told me that results are out so I checked my result on my mom's phone. I got 87% and got scolded by her which I deserved. I called my dad from my mom's phone and told him the result and he was happy and it and congratulated me. At about 2 when he came back he assured me that I scored good. Then I got a call from by bestie on my mom's phone ( my phone was in my dad's office switched off) that all the students have came to school with sweets and meeting teachers, and asked me we should go too. I asked my dad if I can go he totally denied saying kya karna hai jaake, tumhari dost ke 75% aaye hai vo kyu itna kar rhi hai jaane ke liye. I didn't say anything as I don't expect than to let me go ANYWHERE. Me and my bestie have been making a plan to hangout to a mall, play on trampoline there, eat something and come back and our one more female friend would go with us . I asked him in evening about this and he totally denied. Ulta daantne lag gye. Maine kaha aap hi chor dena aap le lena bas hum teen ladkiyan hai. He shouted on me and kehte abhi toh Agra hoke aaye hai(Mera Mann bhi nhi tha). Before you say itna toh sabke karte hai , they have NEVER allowed me to hangout anywhere even with only girls boys ka toh sawaal hi nhi hai . Main almost ab college main hu muje laga ab toh kahi jaane denge. Par nahi school bhi nhi jaane de rhe teachers ko mithai Dene ke liye ki tumari dost ke 75% aaye hai usko kyu itni Khushi ho rhi hai. I have always seen my friends hanging out with eachother but I have never spent any time with my friends other than school . Aakhri baar main apni bestie last board ke exam main mili thi. 10th Main kehte the 12th main jaane denge . Ab 12th bhi ho gye, result bhi ho gye admission bhi ho gya fir bhi nhi . Mera kabhi boyfriend nhi Raha hai na koi hai aur na hi maine kabhi koi aisi har harkat ki hai ki unko Shak bhi ho. Ek 11th main tuition thi school ke paas Jana pe main padti bhi thi aur friends bhi the par ek baar paas ke ek book shop pe apni friend ke saath gayi thi toh unhone woh bhi churwadi aur colony main koi tuition lagwa di . They don't even let me go to to a shop with my friend. Meri ek friend apni friends ke saath Amritsar gyi hai aur baaki bhi saare bacche kahi na kahi gye hai par sirf main hi hu jo kahi nhi Jaa sakti. I cried a lot last night ki kya reason hai ki Ghar se nahi nikalne dete aur kyu nhi nikalne dete and I got my eyes swollen this morning. I don't know mere hi parents aise kyu hai . Kyu mujhpe itna Shak karte hai and more thing that I forgot to tell that I'm almost in college and I still have to submit my phone at night to my parents.

I know I'll be called out for finding logic in this show (especially the latest arcs) but still I'll carry on. So what's going on is that Tappu Sena and others saw some daily wage workers working under harsh sunlight and heat and they put up a chaas (buttermilk) stall for them. Ok, good initiative, but is it going to solve any grim issue in long term? I don't think so. Coming back to the story, the election season is going on and some other party saw them (TSCS) and put their party banner there. Basically taking the credit. 😐😐😐😐 Matlab itna chota dimaag?? I live in Chandigarh and see these types of stalls at every 300m to 1km radius by several people. Be it Punjab side or Haryana side. What i mean to say is that iss type ke stall lagana koi badi baat nahi hai in terms of capital investment ki koi political party aake tumhara stall hijack kar le credits ke liye. Vo chahe to khud bhi ye ideas implement kar sakti hai considering the money 💸💸💸💸 they spend on campaigns. I know I'm asking for too much but still yaar...........

So yesterday saw my 10th result bohot bura laga mere dada ji ka bday tha unhe pata chala ki result aya kyuki mere ek cousin Jo same 10th mai hai usne pehle hi apna result bata diya tha usse 96% aye aur muje 75-85 ke bhecch mai aye offcourse real percentage nhi reveal kar rha kyuki mere dost bhi follow karte Mera acc coming back mere dada ji ka phone ya papa ne phone handover kiya and I was literally shaking bohot bura lag rha phele mene happy birthday wish Kiya fir unhe result bataya aur unhone acha mene toh bola tuje acha hi yega aur mai rone lag gaya unhone pata chala ki mai roo rha tha toh muje samajha rhe thi ki kitne aye isse koi farak nhi padta and all but mai aur baat hi nhi kar paya fir mere bua (woh cousin ke mom ka) phone aya mene ekdam dhere awaz mai result bataya aur fir emotional hogya unhone ne bhi bola acha hai roo mat mere mai aur baat karne ki himaat hi nhi I feel like my parents don't deserve me baki sare dost 90+ la rhe hai aur sabke mumi status wagera laga rhi i feel bad and ashamed ki mene apne parents ko kitna disappoint kardiya mere mumi bohot sad thi but papa bole tikhe hai jo huya so huya ab agee pe dhyan de but kya karu kush samajh nhi a rha hamesha woh result yaad a rha hai raat mai soh nhi pa rha ekdam ese daar sa gaya hu sab dost maza kar rhe aur muje breakdown ho rha hai panick attacks a rhe....... I know I will do better sabko disappoint kardiya tution wali ma'am ko mumi papa ko family ko 🥲

Hi guys, I’m from Delhi (21m).I cleared foundation in may 22(self study,first attempt) and appeared for CA inter group 1 in may23(got 57 in accounts). But phir ek mentally unstable girlfriend milgyi glti se jisne life ki watt lagadi. Bhai ab tk trauma ata h us ldki ka hrdin ki tune mujhe chora toh sucide krdungi ya apne haath ki nas kaat lungi ya mera baap tujhe maardega mere marne k baad . May23 se may24 agya aur Maine Abhi tk exam dobara nhi diya kisi bhi group ka. But right now I’m thinking of giving exam of g1(new scheme) in sept24 but kuch samjh ni ata ki du ya na du . Is it possible for me to do CA inter g1 in the next 3 months. Accounts and law are the subjects that are within my reach but I don’t know about taxation. Toh kya 3 months sufficient h taxation cover krne k liye aur g1 k exam dene k liye. Ab toh sala guilt feel hota h ki kyu ek saal barbaad krliya poora us ldki k chakkr Mai. Ideal scenario for clearing CA BHI ab at the age of 25-26 h jo pta ni kyu bahut jada lgra h . It feels like Mai baaki bachon se bahut pechen rehgya hu aur ek discarded child bngya hu apni family ka. No one forces me to earn because my brother is a well earning individual but I don’t getting motivation aur satisfaction that I will clear or not. Please help me!!!!
Also should I go for self study or take coaching from my previous tutor(inter wala) because I’m very lazy and procrastinate if left alone at home without any friend circle.
SORRY FOR MY BAD GRAMMAR ek dost ya bade bhai ya ek mentor ke naate hi kuch bata do toh bahut bhala hojayega🙏