i was blocked by someone and i sent a text message because i was curious to see if i had been unblocked, the message didn’t go through on my iphone but it says delivered on my ipad (linked to my email) and then i tested it and if i send a message from my ipad it shows delivered on my iphone, does this seem like it’s just a glitch? or does anyone know if the recipient is actually getting the messages?

I have iPhones and android I would like to try and unblock as it has a passcode and there are old phone of family who don’t remember the code. Anyone know how to unlock and can teach

My iPhone SE is very low on you-know-what (like, 1%) and has a blocked power port. I'm thinking of getting a Qi charger in case I can't get it unblocked (I've tried a bit with a toothbrush already). Before I make the purchase, will a Qi charger work with a phone as-is, or would there be a setting I'd need to change on the phone to allow it to work? If it's something I can do before my phone dies completely that'd be good to know.

If you are new to the game or have questions about features and functions, check out this Beginner's guide/FAQ first. Last updated 5/15/2024: includes information on the new artist lootbox Quests introduced in version 1.22. See also my Full list of all artists with badges post for a listing of artists you can acquire a badge for in the game.
This is the first FAQ I've ever written for a game, although I have greatly benefitted from Reddit guides over the years. I'm not a developer (though I think they're doing a great job!) or gaming expert, just a fan of the game. Thanks to the subreddit's moderators for pinning this post and to the Soundmap community for contributing your knowledge and insights. Hope this helps!
u/TheStylesReport

What is Soundmap?

Soundmap is a location-based mobile music collection game. Think Pokemon Go, but with songs. You collect the songs and then can trade them for other songs or “coins”, the in-game currency.

What kind of device do I need to play this?

This is an iPhone only app for now. Dev notes that an Android version is coming in the summer sometime.

Is Premium worth it?

Short answer: Yes. (if you intend to play the game long term)
Think of the standard edition as a demo. Reminds me of the shareware model from back-in-the-day (dating myself here). Premium unlocks so many features that make the game truly playable in the long run – expanded collection range, level, etc.
I’d say the lifetime license is a really good deal. (The cost ranges from $15-30 dollars/pounds/euros depending on your region and if you catch a sale). You’re supporting the developers’ hard work so that the game can continue to grow and prosper. And believe me, I’m normally a person that doesn’t pay for ANYTHING on the App Store, but the hours I’ve put in to this game made it worth it. I’ve been neglecting Tears of the Kingdom in favor of this.
You can also get premium if you invite 8 friends to join but I haven’t tested that functionality. I’ve heard mixed reports of it being bugged, but the game purports to have 4500+ users go premium via this route.

What are song rarities?

Each song is labeled with an associated rarity under the artist and title.

• Common
• Uncommon
• RARE
• Epic

You'll notice some Common/Uncommon/RARE songs are glowing in a "hologram" style fashion. These are "Shiny" songs and are worth more than the conventional type of song.

Where are the best places to go to get songs/drops?

I don’t know how they determine where things drop but I'm guessing it’s some combination of cell phone signals and users who have the app installed. As such, places like open fields and parks are pretty sparse, but where I’ve found the most drops are:

• College campuses
• Malls/shopping centers
• Tourist attractions

Also remember to regularly “scan this area” when going to new places to refresh.

How can I tell if something is a rare, shiny, and/or epic on the map? Do they have their own drops?

Rares are easy to spot because they are darker and glowing, and they stand out against the yellow perimeter.
Shinies have their own drops (looks like a shiny mixed with a regular drop) but, if you’re lucky, can also be pulled from other common, uncommon and rare drops (this is very infrequent, however).
The developers initially created standalone epic drops but took them out of the game because of spoofing/cheating. As of now, the only way to pull an epic is from other drops, but they appear at an even lower probability than shinies.

I was going to pick up a drop and it’s greyed out now. Did someone get to it first?

Yes. Drops are shared with other players so someone might have gotten to it first! On the discord people have complained that in popular areas people camp out to wait for the timers to reset and then pick up the drops right away. So if you’re in an area where you don’t see a lot of grey drops enjoy it while you can :-)

Can you own multiple of the same song?

While the game doesn’t allow duplicates of the exact same song, you can have multiples in certain circumstances, such as:
• There are different album covers (ie the regular album edition vs a greatest hits version)
• There is a sped up or radio edited version
• The regular version, the shiny version and/or the epic version are all distinct versions and you can own all three

What do the numbers on the epics mean?

The lower the number, the more valuable it is. #1 means it’s the first copy someone found from a drop. Think of it like collecting comic books or trading cards. Numbers over #25 just read #25+ and over #100 read 100+.

How does the trade economy work? What is X worth? How much can I get for X?

The game’s trade economy generally follows basic rules of supply and demand with commons being worth the least, uncommons more, then rares. What’s “fair” is subjective but in my experience the general range has been this, hard-to-find artists being more:
· Commons: 100 - 500 coins
· Uncommons: 300 - 1500 coins
· Rares: 500 – 3000 coins
· Common Shiny: 500 – 1500 coins
· Uncommon Shinies: 1000 – 10000 coins
If a track is really popular and/or new, expect to pay more (for example, the Kendrick/Drake beef tracks were at premium for a while).
Rare shinies and Epics are all over the place though, with people asking for literally a million+ for a #1 Kanye West epic. I don’t know if they get it but certainly 6 figure trades for the most popular shinies and epics are not out of the ordinary.
Hip-hop seems to be the most universally popular genre, with artists like Travis Scott and Playboi Carti fetching the highest trade prices. Female pop stars like Taylor, Lana, Billie, Olivia, etc. have selling power. K-Pop (StrayKids, NewJeans, BTS, etc.) are also very popular, but a bit more niche.

How do I earn coins?

· Buy via in-app purchases. This ranges from 2 bucks for 1000, to 100 bucks for 100,000.
· Invite friends. Get 1000 coins for each person that signs up.
· Through trade by offering songs.
· Get your free daily drops.
· Converting unwanted songs to coins.
I’m usually free to play on everything (aside from buying the premium license) so I ended up doing the latter three to earn. You can really stock up with some good rares or a couple of lucky shiny or epic pulls.
Converting commons is a good way to earn some coin quickly in the early game, and your pull to earn ratio is usually pretty good, especially if you’re able to farm drops in your area. However, as you get more coins, try to keep and sell commons via trade instead as you’ll be able to earn some coins and get a common back in the process.
Try to avoid converting uncommons or rares whenever possible. Even if you offer them cheaply for a few hundred coins it’s better than burning them outright. Also, you never know what people might be interested in – one person’s trash truly is another’s treasure. Conversely you can get some really great songs that someone is just looking to be rid of.

How do I convert songs to coins?

Long press (hold down) on an individual song to convert to coins. If you hit the … next to “Your Collection” it will give you the option to “Select to Sell” and you can convert songs to coins in bulk.

How do I offer coins in a trade?

When you “request to trade” you’ll see that there’s an “add coins” option. Click on that and add the desired amount of coins. If you are aiming to trade coins only, just use any throwaway common to facilitate the trade (no way to trade without using at least one song.)

How do I hide songs I don't want to trade?

If you add songs to a playlist you can click on settings (cogwheel in top right) and switch "Available for trading" to "Hidden from trading".
Unfortunately, this is only one-way - it will hide those songs so you don't see them when you "Make A New Offer" for trade, but it does NOT hide the songs from people who visit your profile or keep them from offering things to you.
As a workaround, you can create "for trade" playlists and ask people to only look in there for things they'd like to trade for, but not everyone abides by that. Hopefully they fix this in a future update.

What is the benefit of setting favorite artist(s)? Does it actually work?

The favorite artists does work to help you increase probability of picking up your favorites, moreso if the artist has a deep discography. I set Taylor Swift as a favorite and I picked up a bunch of her tracks. (I love classic hip-hop and R&B but I’m a Swiftie nonetheless lol). It does take time as the overall drop rate is still low even at 10x. The favorite artists you set also impact starting suggestions for quests (see Quests below).
I would recommend setting one unique artist for each genre if you’re trying to accumulate. (I.e Taylor for pop, Kanye for hip-hop, SZA for R&B, etc). This can help with badge collection as you’ll see next.

What are artist badges and what are they used for?

When you collect a certain amount of songs by a particular artist, you earn a badge. This badge is a picture of the artists’ face (or a full body shot of the band), and you can designate a favorite artist badge to appear next to your username throughout the game. You can own multiple badges per artist. Badges are categorized as follows, depending on how many songs you collect:
· Bronze – 5 songs
· Silver – 20 songs
· Gold – 50 songs
· Platinum – entire discography (song count varies by artist)
· Diamond – entire discography plus 5 shiny songs
A full list of artists with badges can be found here on my other post about the topic. So far the badges themselves seem cosmetic but they are a great way to keep track of which artists are most popular (and thus fetch the highest trade prices).

How do I know how many songs are in a specific artist’s discography?

After you collect the gold badge for an artist, the game will provide you with the count of the remaining songs to collect for a platinum. As far as I know this is the only way (and thus only works for badge artists).

What are lootboxes and should I buy them?

Lootboxes are basically a way to purchase drops with coins. They can be very, very useful if used correctly and at the right phase(s) of the game.
~Daily Drop – free: You can select a free drop of the genre of your choice (or randomly). It resets everyday at midnight. Always pull this everyday. Most of the time it’s common, but I’ve pulled some really good uncommons and rares from this. And it’s free!
~Daily Free Coins – free: Self explanatory. Always pull this everyday. The reward gets larger and larger as your streak gets longer. For example, my next reward after 42 days of playing will be 1040 coins.
~Best of the Best – 2000: You can pick your genre here and it gives you a pull from a random popular artist in that genre. Note: "best" doesn't mean "rare" necessarily. I've pulled rares but other folks have pulled uncommons. Also, "popular" artist doesn’t necessarily mean badge artist, so be mindful.
~Super Rare – 1000: This is the absolute best drop for beginners aiming to build a collection for trading. As it says, you get a guaranteed rare, though it’s a blind drop (can’t pick genre). With 10,000 coins you can get 10 rares and in conjunction with stuff you collect around town that’s a great platform to start building from.
~Today’s Top Hits – 1000: If you love the most popular songs you can try your luck here. I just tried this to see what I’d get and I got a Taylor Swift rare. Most of the time you should get a rare but not sure if it’s guaranteed.
~RapCaviar – 1000: This is for the hip-hop fans. As it’s curated you’ll get a currently popular artist, but rarity is not guaranteed. I pulled an Uncommon Yeat most recently.
-New Music Friday - This is a new one offering new music that comes out on Fridays. I think it's free but it's a little bugged right now so more to come on that.

What are Quests?

Quests are a feature added in 1.22 where you merge songs based on certain requirements in order to create artist-specific lootboxes. The Quest screen highlights artists you've designated in your favorites but you can click the search (hourglass) and create for any artist in the game.
Quests will ask you to merge songs from different genre, rarity, and initial letters. Example quest requirements (but these can vary widely) are:

• Merge 28 songs
• Merge 7 songs with artist names beginning with the letter "M"
• Merge 11 uncommon Pop songs

Quest costs range from 1-2k per dev. Quests scale in difficulties as you progress through an artist’s discog. It’ll be easier at first and gradually increase in difficulties. If a quest is too difficult, you have 3 re-roll options per day across all artist quests.
Quests are also easier for artists who don’t spawn in map drops.
Once you merge you get a cool animation that spins all the specific songs from that specific artist (reminds me of the Marvel Studios logo, but for music) and then lands on a common, uncommon or RARE song from that artist. You then get a new requirement if you want to unlock another lootbox from that artist.
This replaces the old Favorite Artist Drop lootbox in previous editions (used to cost 2000 coins). You can still open this with coins but now it costs 3000. Open the drop and instead of merging, go to the top right corner and you'll see the option to buy with coins.
I would recommend reserving this function for when you have built up a sizable discography, you’re trying to get artists that don’t seem to spawn from drops, and/or you're trying to go for Platinum. If you're bronze, silver, etc. you may find it more cost effective to trade for songs you need.
You can do as many quests as you want in a day.

What is the point of exp and levels?

Every time you level up you get a 2000+ coin bonus (more at higher levels), which is a nice incentive to stay active. The higher your exp, the higher your worldwide rank, which so far looks to be just bragging rights. The higher your level, the more exp it takes to level up.
How to earn XP:
· Common song: 20 XP
· Uncommon song: 50 XP
· Rare song: 100 XP
· Shiny song: 300 XP
· Epic song: 800 XP
· New drop visited: 20 XP
· New artist seen: 20 XP
· New person traded with: 20 XP
· Daily check in: 100 XP
However – the exp you gain in a week does have an impact on your league position.

What are leagues?

Leagues are another way to compete with other Soundmappers and earn a little bit of coins as well.
Each user is assigned to a league that consists of 30 random participants of a common rank. Like the artists, there are Bronze/SilveGold/Platinum/Diamond Tiers. You advance (or maintain your rank) by earning XP. Top players in each tier get some coins. If you rank highly enough you get promoted, if you are too low, you get demoted to a previous rank.
Check out the in-game League FAQ for more info. (I tried to link it here but it keeps trying to post some huge goofy Notion ad alongside the link so I'll not do that).

What is Discord and why does everyone keep talking about it?

From Wikipedia: Discord is an instant messaging and VoIP social platform which allows communication through voice calls, video calls, text messaging, and media and files.
There is no in-game messaging system (yet) so Discord is the platform you can use to communicate with other gamers to negotiate trades, advertise things you’re selling, contact the developers about desired features. The devs are active and you can often get very good insights from the help and announcement channels.
However, as with any social chat community there is always the danger of people getting toxic/abusive in the general rooms. Generally I stick to direct messages about trades, and everyone I’ve spoken to in DMs is nice and polite, but your own experience may vary.
If you click on the “chat” icon in app it will automatically invite you to the discord.

Why am I banned?

If you’re unlucky you’ll find yourself locked out of login with an error that your account has been banned. Generally, if you’ve violated the terms of service (we all read those, right?).
From what I’ve seen, the following things can get you banned:
· Location spoofing (using apps/tools to pretend you’re in a different place than you actually are)
· Scamming (trying to trick people into giving up high value tracks for nothing, etc.)
· Invite spoofing (using fake emails to sign up for multiple accounts and then using those to get free premium
If you think you’ve been falsely/mistakenly banned, send a help ticket and plead your case.

Speaking of ban, how do I block people who are bothering me, spamming the trade channel, or who are throwing me terrible trades?

Hit the ... in the top right next to a username and Block and/or Report. Use this carefully as there is currently no option to unblock someone after you block them. Once they're gone, they're gone.
That's all I've got for now. Good luck and have fun! I hope both this subreddit and the Soundmap community grows and prospers.

I was here a while back asking about how to block YouTube properly on an iPhone (I came to the conclusion that it’s almost impossible to do it comprehensively without significant negative side effects even with supervision/profile because of how iOS handles blacklisting of domains).
I currently have YouTube and Instagram domains blocked under the “adult content” filtering system (which means I have to deal with the annoyance of occasionally unblocking a domain that isn’t actually “adult” and got caught in the crossfire). This doesn’t prevent me from downloading the apps, which I could do with Configurator, but so far is being avoided purely due to my intense hatred of the iPhone apps and reduced control over the content (ads and such): I used both in browser with filtering/blocking on.
I’ve since realised that it’s almost immaterial, however, because I will simply find another way to inject dopamine blasts into my eyes: if it’s not YouTube then it’s Instagram, and if I block both of those, I try BlueSky, and when I realise that’s not doing it for me, I end up here on Reddit even though I am very much Not A Reddit Person in general. This is quite likely to be highly correlated with the prevalence of ADHD traits that have recently (finally) led to me going through a diagnostic assessment process to see whether I am going to be formally diagnosed or just told that I have traits but it’s not considered severe enough to actually diagnose and treat (another thing piling on the anxiety is how determined the doctor seemed to be to not end up at an ADHD diagnosis).
I have a lot of anxiety about the way my career is going which is of course adding to the difficulty of engaging with it which only makes the problem worse. The only thing that seems to keep me away from the doomscrolling pit of despair is good/engaging things happening IRL, which lately isn’t going so well and I am not finding it to be something I am effective at enforcing for myself (yes, perhaps I should simply “touch grass”, but that too gives me anxiety about task avoidance and is harder work and less instantly gratifying than sitting scrolling bullshit on the internet for seven hours).
I’m going to see if I can also block Reddit, and find out if having access on my computers is still enough of a problem if I get it blocked on my phone. I wonder what my next life-wasting distraction will turn out to be? 😅
If you have found yourself falling into similar patterns and managed to figure out any coping mechanisms, what did that look like?

Using a VPN on your iPhone can be a smart move to enhance your online privacy, security, and freedom while using your device on public Wi-Fi networks or browsing the internet. In this article, we'll explore the importance of using a VPN on your iPhone and discuss some of the best VPN options available for iOS devices.
Why Use a VPN on Your iPhone?

1. Enhanced Privacy: When you connect to the internet through a VPN, your IP address is masked, and your online activities are encrypted. This makes it significantly harder for third parties, such as ISPs (Internet Service Providers), advertisers, or hackers, to monitor your browsing habits and track your online behavior.
2. Security on Public Wi-Fi Networks: Public Wi-Fi networks are convenient but often insecure, making them prime targets for cybercriminals looking to intercept sensitive information. By using a VPN on your iPhone, you can encrypt your data transmissions, preventing potential eavesdroppers from intercepting your passwords, emails, or financial information.
3. Bypassing Geo-Restrictions: Some online content, such as streaming services or websites, may be restricted based on your geographic location. With a VPN, you can bypass these geo-restrictions by connecting to a server in a different country, allowing you to access region-locked content on your iPhone.
4. Avoiding Censorship: In countries with strict internet censorship laws, using a VPN can help you bypass government-imposed restrictions and access the open internet without limitations.
5. Secure Remote Access: If you need to access sensitive work-related resources or connect to your home network while on the go, a VPN provides a secure way to establish a remote connection from your iPhone to your workplace or home network.

Best VPNs for iPhone:

1. ExpressVPN: ExpressVPN is consistently ranked as one of the best VPN services for iPhone users. It offers a user-friendly iOS app with a simple interface and one-click connectivity. ExpressVPN boasts high-speed servers in 94 countries, strong encryption protocols, and a strict no-logs policy, ensuring your privacy and security are prioritized.
2. NordVPN: NordVPN is another top choice for iPhone users, offering a feature-rich iOS app with advanced security features. With NordVPN, you get access to a vast network of servers in 60 countries, double encryption for added security, and specialized servers for activities like streaming and torrenting. The app also includes a kill switch and DNS leak protection to safeguard your online activities.
3. CyberGhost: CyberGhost is known for its user-friendly iOS app and comprehensive privacy features. The app offers one-click connectivity to servers optimized for streaming, gaming, or torrenting, making it easy to access your favorite content securely. CyberGhost operates a network of over 7,000 servers in 91 countries and employs strong encryption to protect your data from prying eyes.
4. Surfshark: Surfshark is a budget-friendly VPN option that doesn't compromise on features or performance. The iOS app is intuitive and easy to use, with unlimited simultaneous connections, making it an excellent choice for users with multiple devices. Surfshark's network spans across 65 countries, and it offers strong encryption, a strict no-logs policy, and features like MultiHop and CleanWeb for enhanced security and privacy.
5. Private Internet Access (PIA): PIA is a trusted VPN provider with a long-standing reputation for privacy and security. The iOS app offers a clean and straightforward interface, along with features like split tunneling and customizable encryption settings. With over 29,000 servers in 77 countries, PIA provides reliable performance and excellent unblocking capabilities for accessing geo-restricted content on your iPhone.

Conclusion:
Using a VPN on your iPhone is an effective way to protect your online privacy, enhance your security, and access restricted content from anywhere in the world. With numerous VPN providers available for iOS devices, it's essential to choose a reputable service that offers strong encryption, a strict no-logs policy, and reliable performance. Whether you prioritize speed, security, or streaming capabilities, there's a VPN option out there to suit your needs and preferences.

Also I had to block a number they kept bothering me so bad and EVEN AFTER I BLOCKED HIM, He could STILL CALL? I unblocked and blocked again. I have an iPhone 15 and sleep and dnd don’t seem to be working at all! What’s wrong with my phone? And yes! I’ve googled it and to no avail. What on earth?

My husband (32M) and I (31F) are a military family. Been married 3 years but together 7. He’s deployed right now to a pretty calm location, with no combat and short work days + weekends off. Currently I live alone in our home, and we’re stationed overseas. He’s set to return here in a few months. For context, it’s nice in a way, to have him deployed. I have the home to myself to present it the way I like. I don’t have to rub his back every night the way he likes. No meals to cook unless I want to. And because he’s not here, I don’t find or feel any crumbs or dipping tobacco in my sheets. But it does get lonely here sometimes. Right now, I’m alone in this foreign place. But I try to make the best of it, because it’s beautiful.
My husband isn’t really there for me emotionally, the way I’d like him to be. But I get by, and for the most part, I try to be patient. Generally he is very loving and affectionate. But he doesn’t like to talk. He doesn’t like to be bothered with much outside of his job. He doesn’t like to plan for the future, or strategize in terms of career. He doesn’t like to talk about finances, and has made a few financial pitfalls. Last year he bought 2 cars he couldn’t afford, insisting that he’d sell them for a profit. He never tried to sell, and the cats are sitting in parking lots out here growing rust. But we all make financial mistakes. When he was here, he had a hard time being here for me emotionally. I like to explore new places, go for walks, and spend time with people I love. He outright refused to do those things with me for a long time, and when I’d ask him he’d get upset and talk about his job. Things got better and he started taking me out some, but he can still be this way with me. He prefers that I don’t go for my daily walks. That I stay home, rub his back, and watch tv or movies with him until he falls asleep. In a lot of ways, this deployment is a great break from that chaos. For a while he seemed happier out there, with a different group of people from other units. But things have apparently taken a turn.
This past week, I asked if he would spare time and talk with me for a few minutes later in the day, as I’d received awful news about a close family member that I needed to talk through. He said sure, and the day went on. But he never offered up a set time. He got off work early that day and told me he was going to take a nap, and when push came to shove, he flaked on talking at all, saying he wasn’t feeling good. The next day I checked in on him and broached the topic of us talking as planned, and he told me he felt he was going through depression. That a lot of dudes out there were going through something similar, and that he could go and do things, but talking was taking a lot out of him. I pivoted and tried to encourage him and asked if there was anything I could do to help. He told me sending funny videos would help and that he enjoyed seeing photos and videos I was taking of my life out here, so I sent some of those along, but he didn’t really engage with it much.
The week went on like this, with very little communication on his part. I would get bits and pieces, he would he out with colleagues to eat, have drinks, and spend time after work. But he didn’t talk to me, wouldn’t share what might be going on with him internally. I told him this hurt my feelings, and that I didn’t feel like he was prioritizing his relationship with me. Specifically during a time when I really needed to talk.
Cut to this past weekend. My husband and I did talk a bit Saturday evening. It was a short phone conversation about channel passwords. At the end of the convo, I’d again told him, I felt frustrated and sad because he wasn’t really communicating with me. My husband told me he understood and that he loved me. We hang up and I feel glad we got to talk, and that he could understand where I was coming from. I call it a night Saturday night and fall asleep haphazardly, forgetting to text him goodnight.
It’s Sunday morning and I wake up, and husband hasn’t texted, his phone is actually off. It remains off for most of the day. I text him good morning and go about my day, and hours later he texts good morning. I ask him how his night went. Usually, when his phone dies over night, there’s been drinking involved. He’s fallen asleep and forgotten to charge his phone. Stuff like that. There’s radio silence on his end, and then it starts to hit me that just last night, he told me he could understand where I was coming from with my frustrations with him. But he’s just continuing to fail to communicate, or prioritize us. I tell him I’m feeling a slight way about all of this. He texts me back a little bit later and is like give me a few minutes to wake up and I’ll give you the rundown about last night.
Two hours go by, and nothing. Then he tells me actually, he “had an accident” last night (not the car kind) and used the bathroom (unsure #1 or #2 on himself), on his bed, and on his rug. He tells me he’s spent the last bit of time trying to clean that up, and that he feels awful about it.
I tell him I’m so sorry that this is happening, and that it sounds terrible. But I add that it has nothing to do with what’s been going on between us. He gets upset and says “Yeah, I’m going through some things right, but I’ll be sure to sit and take a look at how you’ve been feeling.”
I tell him that feels like a slap in the face response. Then he tells me he wants “some space”. These words really trigger me, because 1. He tends to ask for “space” at the slightest hint of conflict between us, but he never, ever offers up a time for reengagement, to sort through our issues. For him, space can take days or weeks, if left unchecked. 2. I just feel so beyond let down by him shutting down for the umpteenth time, right when I’m airing out valid concerns.
This is the part that I’m not proud of. I feel deeply ashamed and responsible for my actions, and at the same time I feel so upset and righteous: I call him non stop for 2 hours, demanding that he talk to me. I text him message after message, imploring him to pick up the phone. I tell him not to speak to me for the rest of the deployment, and then I’m begging him to just talk with me for 5 minutes. It’s chaos. And I’m doing this for about 2 hours straight.
He blocks me on iPhone but keeps me unblocked on WhatsApp. And he just lets the phone ring and ring, which baffles me. In hindsight, he might have been letting it ring to show his buddies how “crazy” his wife is. Or to have documented evidence of how “crazy, unhinged, and disrespectful of boundaries” I can be, just in case we split and get a divorce.
Whatever the reason, he lets me keep calling and calling, until after midnight his time and 2 am my time.
And this is where we’re at.
How do I recover from such a messed up thing that I’ve done? I feel so bad, for ruining this man’s night and potentially fucking up his Monday morning. And I also feel so frustrated that he doesn’t care about me. I feel hurt. And I also feel like I lack self respect or love for myself. How do I recover from all of these hurt feelings and shame I have over what I’ve done?
You know what I hate? I hate that this fucked up relationship I have with this guy can sometimes make me so desperate. Why do I care and try and try with someone who is soiling themselves in drunken stupors, and actively avoiding having solid communication with me?
I feel so bad about myself this morning. I feel alone in my relationship and afraid to just be here, alone with myself. How do I make things right, first with myself, and later with him. Despite his piss poor treatment of me, I do deeply feel that I owe him an apology, for calling like that and not respecting his space. That’s not who I want to be. But is this who I am? It’s what I did in my moment of weakness. How do I recover from this?
TL;DR: I went nuts oh my emotionally and physically absent husband. I feel hurt by him and frustrated, but I know that was wrong. how do I recover from my bad behavior?

I am currently trying to watch the tutorial videos that Unity provides but I am always met with a buffering video. I have put in a ticket but since those take 2 months at the moment I wanted to see if anybody else had the same problem.
I have tried many things such as clearing cache, disabling browser extensions, and trying on different devices and networks. The one bit of information that I can provide is when I try on my iPhone it gives me this error "The media could not be loaded, either because the server or network failed or because the format is not supported". I have not seen anybody else with this problem and the people that I have asked said it might be Unity's fault. The one issue I have with this is that I know people that can still load the videos as of this moment.
Edit:
I have figured it out after way too long. I noticed that the videos were being blocked by CORS policy because the Unity servers were giving me bad headers. The way I fixed it was by installing CORS Unblocked. This confirms my theory that it is Unity's fault, but I don't like that I have to bypass a safety feature because Unity's servers aren't acting properly. Thanks to everybody that tried to help me fix this issue!

Hello. I have purchased an iphone through straight talk and its locked to accept just straigt talk sim cards. I know it can be unblocked by just renewing the contract a couple of times but i just want to switch right now. How do i do it and how much will it cost me? Thank you very much.

My group provides an iPhone 13 to our neighborhood patrol and allow neighbors to call or text the patrol directly for non-emergency needs. The phone number is changed annually and we only provide the new number to members who've joined and paid dues throughout the year. Some members pay on a quarterly basis as that's an option.
We're considering blocking the phone numbers of non-payers, and this would require us to periodically add those numbers to the phone's blocked list manually. Does anyone know if the list could be 'pushed' or uploaded to the phone from a file or by using iCloud? There could be scenarios where a number is blocked, then unblocked when that owner renews the membership. Of course we'd have a big flurry of activity at the start of the year after the number change and New Year's memberships are updated.
In Reverse, would a Whitelist of Allowed Numbers work (not manually)?

TL;DR: Matched with a girl on a dating app who seemed into materialistic things. Despite initial red flags, went on a date with her to build confidence. Turned out she was rude, obsessed with her phone, and showed dangerous driving behavior. Blocked me before I could do it first.
Long story:
Hey bondhas, so I (M) matched with a girl(F) on a dating app. Her looks were below average and bio was "I want someone who gifts cute stuff & iphone and crazy for bikes, Kannadiga"(early signs of red flag). Immediately after we matched she asked me if we can hangout now. Naku endhuko idhi kidney lu dobbese batch anukunna kani I got to know she is genuine and I asked her to meet outside. I shared my number and she sent her location.
I am shy and introvert kind of a guy and I just went on one date before that's it. Never been in a relationship. So my main purpose was to build confidence around woman and to socialize. So I didn't care about the looks and initial red flags coz it was just a normal meet. Her house was kinda long distance so I asked her if she can meet me somewhere in between and she was like "no I'm new here, I'm not a local and I don't have money". Inka sarle ani I went to her location in scooty. I picked her up (She was below below average, filters daya) and we decided to go to a mall. I was driving and I asked her to tell me directions to the mall looking at Google maps. Ee akka emo chatting chestundhi directions cheppatle I was just driving and asking her directions, last ki cheppindhi. and then while I was driving she asked for my phone to make a phone call. Adenti akka indake na phone ki call chesindhi ga ani doubt vachinidhi. Sare mall ki vellaka I will give ani cheppa.
We reached the mall then she was just on phone all the time with wireless earband in her ears. Emaina adugudam ante she removes the earbud and says Enti. Then I gave her my phone to her she called someone and their conversations went like "Nannu endhuku block chesav unblock chey urgent ga ani". Appudu anukunna oho evado ee akka badha padaleka block chesuntadu ani. the entire time she was on phone chatting , checking status, taking snaps (elevator ekkithe oka snap, walking chesthe snap, ekkada padithe akkada random selfies), rude asf and vulgar words in every sentence.
Then we reached the top floor and she said oka 1 min wait chey, I was waiting and she went inside games zone and was taking photos. Idhi ekkadi dikkumalina santha ra anukunna. she finally comes after 10min and says she is thirsty, sare ani there was food court pakkana we went there. she takes to this Thick shake factory (Entire time she was on her phone listening to songs, watching reels, status. just when she wants to talk she removes her one earbud and talks and again puts inside her ear). so i asked what she wants and she removes her earbud and say enti , i asked her in loud voice what do you want? she looks at the menu says Butterscotch and puts her earbuds and starts watching reels. So, I just ordered one for her and I didn't order anything and paid 200rs (bokka ani telisina em cheyalenu). The waiter tell me to wait 10min. So we sat facing each other and I hoped atleast she would throw her phone away but she didn't. she is still watching fucking reels, status, chatting. Naku emo thikka lestundhi and I tried to start conversation and she is giving cold one word reply.
I noticed there were cut marks on her wrist and I ask her what happend? She said she cut herself because of backlogs in first year. Idhi edho teda candidate laga undhi ra anukunna. I was like inka washroom ani cheppi intiki vellipodam without her noticing me anukunna but she told me early she doesn't have any money and Nenu papam le she can't go alone in rapido without money ani I stayed. Then I tried very hard to start conversation and asked her where was she from and she says Mumbai (Adenti akka bio lo kannadiga ani pettav) and asked when did she come here and she said long back (Adenti akka new to this place annav chat lo) and also she shared few things like how she went to this hookah place at 12am with her friends and there was a argument so she switched off her phone and kept walking somewhere until 1am, she used to stay in a room with 4 people and said those 4 girls used to hate her for some reason (Intha teda ga unte hate endhuku cheyaru akka), so she used to argue with her roommates daily and eventually she moved out of her room and is staying with her mom near the college , inka some bullshit stories cheppindhi. She wants Iphone anta and asking her mom to buy iphone (looks like she is forcing her mom). Tarvatha malli same takes out her phone and starts watching status and says my friends are all uploading photos on insta and I don't have any and she asked me to take her picture. I took few photos and she says Heyy pimples kanipiyakunda tiyali ( akka ki namaskaram) and Akka didn't even ask me single question and I even doubt akka remembers my name.
Order vachindi and I gave it to her and I didn't order anything and was sitting idle. She didn't even ask me why didn't you order and she didn't even wanted to share. Her mom was constantly calling her (papam aunty) and She was like my mom is torturing me and I should go back home. Nenu hammayya anukunna and she said she wanted to eat something. I said akka I don't have money. Malli same repeat using phone , taking snaps while walking.
Parking ki vellam and she says she wants to drive. I was hesistant at first but ponile pakkane ga ani icha. She said she didn't want to put helmet and then i forced her. Akka driving skills chusthe mind block ayyindhi, evaro uncle pakkana pothunthe this akka goes and tells him "uncle chuskoni vellandi" and then a car comes from behind this akka doesn't give him way to go and that guy was shouting on her. This akka didn't care and some car was overtaking us and this akka ki emaindho telidhu but she was competing with that car for some reason. Last ki 1 km undhi annapudu ee akka straight ga velli side lo walk chestunna oka senior citizen ni hit chesindhi and continued driving (Adenti akka rider girl ani pettav bio lo). Naku full bp lo unna at that moment and this akka was laughing as if nothing has happened and last ki akka illu reach ayyam and dropped her (fortunately kidney safe, bandi ki, naku em kaledhu).
Intiki vella gane block chedam anukunna but she blocked me before I did. So I feel like this akka does this with every men on the app, she is obessed with materialistic things and wants some rich dude to take care her needs as her mom doesn't give her money because she knows she is spoiled brat ani
Naku picha frustation lo unna, how to take out this frustation on her? I have her number and I know a girl from same college, same year or else edho nightmare anukoni move on aipomantara?

On iPhone I have unfortunately tried all the blocking apps on the market and found them all useless in the end because of how easy they are to switch off in one way or another in screen time (if you haven’t found out how, just consider yourself lucky) Has anyone actually been successful creating a setup that cannot in any way be unblocked on android? (or iPhone but I highly doubt it’s possible on iOS) What I would love is for instance if I want to workout to have the possibility in a blocking app to block all apps besides my fitness app and phone calls - like how cold turkey works on my Mac, so screen time won’t work because it’s not customizable enough during the day

I have been trying to unblock a friend for the last hour now. I’m using an iPhone and I am going through battle.net app and also through hearthstone but I can find nothing whatsoever?! Google has no answers, forums are a nightmare of useless info. I actually ready on official site someone giving feedback and admitting they couldn’t either? . Am I losing my mind?!

Transferring to a new phone (iPhone 11 if that matters) and it won’t let me access cellular on the new phone because when I put my SIM card in, the first pic below pops up. I called both Apple and Verizon and received no helpful information. I also tried setting up an eSIM, but got the second picture. Never had this happen and I have done several phones for myself and family members. Anyone have any experience or input?
Just tried adding images and realized that this sub doesn’t allow them. So the first pic basically says, SIM not supported, the sim is not supported by the activation policy currently assigned to the activation server. Please install another SIM from a supported carrier, or request that this iPhone be unlocked by your carrier. Please contact Apple for more information.
Second one (eSIM error) just says Sim is not supported Phone number cannot be transferred because it is blocked by your carrier, please contact them to unblock it.

First of all, my apologies, I posted this before, everyone told me to leave and I didn't listen.
Here's the full story, with all the possible details
TL;DR: Have I really been a neglecting boyfriend after not organizing a birthday party?
At this moment I feel devastated and heartbroken and I’d like to write my story down. It's rather long and very detailed. I noticed that I tend to switch between past and present tense. I'm supposed to be fluent in English but it’s not my native language and I apologize for any inconsistencies. I also seem to be going back and forth with the timeline, my apologies for this. So about a year ago I met someone from South America, she spoke only Spanish, none of my native languages, which are Dutch and French so I tried my best to speak Spanish (I'm okay, just not fluent) and we went on a date. She talked about her native country, which is Peru, her daughter (8yo at the time), I talked about stuff in my life (I’m a biker, sports shooter and I go to the gym a few times a week), and my daughter (11yo at the time). By the way, all of this happens in my country, which is Belgium. The date went really well, however she started drinking rather heavily and we ended up in my place having sex, the day after everything went really friendly although she was rather embarrassed she went that far on a first date. I assured her that's not really my style either but we were both in a party mood and drunk and one thing led to another. In the upcoming weeks we continued seeing each other (just regular dates, nothing sexual) and we got along really fine, what I did notice was that she never offered to pay for anything. For the moment she's not a legal resident so she can't work legally and she only works as a babysitter at someone's house so I let that slide. I do make a lot more than she does and I drive a company car so money is less tight to me, however this doesn't mean my resources are limitless. I take care of my daughter financially, I try to save for her and myself, for my sports, traveling so although I make a lot, life is very expensive. Let’s say I usually find a balance between enjoying life with my money and being responsible. She making a lot less money doesn’t mean she has nothing either, although I remain chivalrous, in Belgium it’s very common for a woman to pay as well, it’s more about the act and not really about the money. (Of course it’s different when you live together.) Also men and women are equal here, yet at the same time I try to take into account and show respect for the fact that this might be completely different in her culture. She did show she doesn't easily trust men, calling all men liars, continuously saying she believes in actions and is very reluctant towards words, always expressing the fact she’s completely independent. I did find this contradictory with her attitude to let men pay for her, but okay, different culture and a language barrier. (She speaks incredibly fast and sometimes understanding her was a task). At one point she asked (in a message) if I wanted to get to know her sisters, since family is important to her I enthusiastically said yes (I thought she was introducing me to her family), she interpreted this as an attempt to date her sisters and immediately blocked me. At this moment I panicked, I called a friend of hers and tried to explain the misunderstanding. Luckily she unblocked me and we continued talking and dating. However to avoid this in the future, I did say to her that if I ever were to say anything offensive, to ask or notify me, I speak Spanish rather fairly but it’s not my native language, so with this language barrier mistakes are always possible. She once even reacted in anger because she thought I wrote too many messages that indicated I wanted her for sex only, I apologized, assured her that is not the case and I also showed this in my actions. One very positive point, I picked up my Spanish lessons from school again and I started studying again so my Spanish would improve and indeed, these types of misunderstandings did more or less go away. However, now that I’m looking back, her attempts to learn French were no more than some basic phrases and my warning for the mistakes wasn’t taken into account for. After some more weeks passed by, we did seem to like each other a lot and she seemed to let her guard down, she started talking about doing activities with our kids, some time later she really wanted a relationship with me. Her daughter was really nice, she almost immediately became friends with my daughter, my gf was so pleased, we really connected. Then I made a horrible mistake, I didn't delete a dating app on my phone and she found conversations from the first week of our official relationship. (We were a month along) In my defense, I also have friends (non sexual) I met on these apps and the conversations were nothing more than a hello. Still I understand her feeling reluctant, I didn't show respect there, however she said nothing, and that night when I was sleeping she wrote a long message on how I was a horrible cheater and blocked me again. The last I could see was a status update where she filmed herself adding text she doesn’t need a man. Same story, talked to her friend, unblocked and we continued. I delete the dating app, I apologize for the lack of respect and I show her I'm actually loyal. About two months passed and we're in a nice relationship, however her wallet stayed closed. She even went as far as asking me for money to tip the waiter. Note: Tipping isn’t that customary in my country, the waiter was really confused. One night when we were going out I had enough. I just told her I was out of cash. Suddenly she pulls out a 50 euro bill (to the readers from the USA, a Euro is slightly higher than a dollar), gives me the bill and tells me she can lend me money so I can continue buying drinks and pay back the money later. I was dumbfounded. I asked her why she just couldn't offer a drink but she didn't seem to go with that story. In the pub she continuously kept saying I was tired and I should go home, I wasn’t tired at all but after a while I was fed up and I said: “Okay, I’ll go home.” Then she surprised me again, she asked me to pay a few beers forward (with the money she lent me) so she can continue drinking while I go home. I thought: “You know what? Take it, I’ve had it for today.” I pay for the beers and I walk out. Then she follows me and stops me, asking me to stay. At this point she really started to irritate me, ask me to go or stay but make a decision. We went back to the pub, I took one of the prepaid beers, which she didn’t like because those were hers supposedly. Suddenly the police entered the pub, they received a complaint about the noise, nothing special, just a standard visit. However, the bartender (a good female friend of my gf), also foreign didn’t have any identification, apparently she was here illegally. Police, forced to do their job, arrests her, my gf starts lashing out at the police, I tried to stop her because she’s here illegally as well. Had a friendly chat with the police, they were even impressed that I could speak foreign languages, really nice guys. At some point I had to pee, unfortunately the police weren't allowed to let us back inside the pub so I went somewhere between houses. (Not my style either but the pressure was high) When I came back my gf was gone, she thought I bailed, asked no questions and was walking home. I explained here why I was gone and later on she asked me to drive to the police station to find her friend, I tried to talk her out of that idea, trying to explain she’s being held for questioning and she’ll probably just be released in a few hours. She wouldn’t listen and wanted to go to the police station, at that point another friend of hers joined us and I drove them to a closed police station. The night ends, I drop them off and I go home. Luckily not all of our dates went like that, mostly we went to pubs, then ended up at my place where she changed into one of my shirts, looked at latin music on YouTube and then ended up spending the night. We did go to a Peruvian restaurant once, I let her order for me, no tourist food, the real experience. She orders her food, eats a part, decides it wasn’t tasty and just orders something else. You guessed it, I paid the bill. One day she talks about her daughter's upcoming anniversary (in a message), I propose to buy her a gift, however I'd like to wait a few weeks till my funds are replenished. She bursts out in anger, again, still unable to write my name correctly (that’s a real frustration, from the very beginning she wrote my name wrong), telling me how I'm always talking about money (I don't, I calculate a lot but I rarely talk about this) and she blocks me again. I was fed up, I just came from another relationship with a narcissist (true story) and I realized I was still in a people please mode, I couldn’t handle another one of these situations. I didn't call her friend anymore, I picked up the pieces of my heart and I went on. I told my daughter she wouldn't be seeing her daughter anymore (they got along really well so she was sad), picked my life back up and started focusing on healing rather than being with someone. The narcissist I mentioned is not the person in this story, I’m referring to a previous relationship. A few days later she sent me a poorly translated text with her bank account, asking me to deposit the 50 euro she lent me, minus 3 euro for an iPhone cover I bought her online. I ignored the message and went on with my life. I don’t steal from people but this was compensation for me. A few months later she texted me again, telling me how she misses our daughters being together and she really wants to see me. I agree on the condition that it's her time to pay for a drink. Yes you are allowed to call me an idiot here. So we went on a friendly date, she did pay, more or less, scratching the change in her pocket and barely getting to pay the bill for a few beers. However she did make a move on me again, I just went with it without expecting anything. That weekend we went out, the wallet was closed again and the romance was shifted back to friends and nothing more, she even asked me to take her friends out in the future. Yet instead of telling her to sod off, I felt hurt, meaning I wasn't healed as much as I wanted, I did improve but I still had a long way to go. The day after I sent her a message that going out as friends was too much for me and I couldn't see her on these terms anymore. (You could say I should have been more direct or blunt but I felt bad enough as it was and I also wanted to break her stereotypical view that all men take advantage of women). She replies in a very long message on how she's independent, I reply with an apology in case I ever hurt her. I hide my own pain, and once again I move on. Thanks to therapy, self reflection and really good friends I find myself again, I even have a few sexual encounters (always lifts the spirit), I take care of my daughter and I take (and improve) life one day at a time. A few months later, you guessed it, she texts me again. She misses me and she wants to get back in touch. I admit she has a special place in my heart, but no matter how special that is, she's not coming in anymore with that "all men are liars" and "I don't pay anything" attitude. For once I'm putting my brain ahead of my heart. We go out for a drink, she picks up the pill, we end up at my place, she spends the night. The day after I drop her off and I decide to take things differently, I send sweet yet straightforward messages, ignoring her evasive words and she becomes really impressed. I sent her an email, talking about the heavy divorce I had with my daughter’s mom, how she tried to demand way too much money from me and how I had to rebuild enormously financially, explaining why I’m reluctant to let people in my life who demand I pay everything. I don’t mind her not being able to pay a lot, but be fair. I do tell her my daughter needs braces and since her mom doesn’t feel like contributing I’m taking the full bill, which will be between 3000 and 4000 euro, meaning I don’t mind paying but sometimes I’ll be unable. That was only a small part of the mail, I really hate these ridiculous financial conversations and I do not want to give the impression here that our relation completely revolved around who pays the bill in the pub. I talk mostly about what happened with my daughter’s mom and the narcissist and what I expect from a relationship. She reacted very lovely to my mail and she seemed to really want to be with me. I was very clear, she could come back, however she knew my boundaries. I did receive a sad message from her, saying she wants to be with me but she can’t contribute in a financial way the way I demand from her. I simply reply that’s not what I meant with my message and there’s more to contribute to a relationship than money. She starts making an effort, I start getting messages that are more and more romantic. She doesn't freak out anymore, she seems to be dropping this overly independent attitude, I stay vigilant but she seems to be taking a turn for the better. Note that at this point we're more than a year further since our initial date. The insecurity wasn’t gone, one night, as a reply to a romantic message from me, she asks why I’m being romantic. I can just ask for sex if I want, I don’t have to lie and pretend I love her. Instead of denying, I agreed, I said I did want sex with her, but for romantic reasons and not just physical. She replied that she really wants me but she’s just so afraid, I calmly replied I didn’t mind. I accepted her so I also accept her fears, I accept her with all her positive and negative traits, not just the parts I like. This seemed to have given her a sense of trust and security We go out, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with our kids, she pays (a small part but again, it’s the act, not the money), she was really opening up and we were really getting fond of each other. There wasn't a single message that wasn’t followed with hearts and other romantic gestures. On my behalf, I show her that my words are followed with action, I'm not one of these men that give empty promises like she tends to believe. One day I surprised her with concert tickets for a sold out concert for Karol G. She reacts euphorically but suddenly asks if I have a ticket for her daughter as well. I told her I wasn't able to score a third ticket as this was from a reseller and I can only buy what they're offering. (Note: There were more available at that reseller but I was at my limit. I learned from the past, I already take her to her favorite singer for free.) She tells me she can't enjoy the concert without her daughter and starts looking for tickets at resellers (including sites I really don't trust), she even thought about VIP tickets because why not. (I was like: “ WTF, we’re sitting in a pub, I’m buying the beer, you ask me to buy you food, I agree because you have less and then you start looking for VIP tickets) I told her the VIP tickets are not sold out but insanely expensive (about 450 euro), she replied she didn’t mind when it’s for her daughter. In case you're wondering if I accept her daughter, I really do. She's a wonderful child, the concert is just really expensive and also not really a place where I'd take a 9yo. I thought: “Please no, not this financial crap again.” The day after she sends me reseller sites that I find untrustworthy, taking her daughter was the only thing she could put her mind on. In the upcoming weeks I continue having a relationship with her the way I do relations, I do a lot of activities, I show her I'm a man of my word. I make a list of all activities I want to do with her (or our kids), she reacts very lovely to that. And yes I start executing everything I planned, tropical pool for the four of us, private sauna for the two of us, etc. We’re having a double date! On one of our dates she asked me to pick up her sister and boyfriend to go to a restaurant. This adds about an hour to my driving time but I don’t mind, my investment into a slowly opening relationship. That night my daughter was with me but since she’s 13 now she can easily spend an evening by herself. In the restaurant, she still acts like a date and not my gf. The sister makes everything a bit more acceptable since she was the only one that spoke and understood French. Her boyfriend pays for the entire table (I genuinely thanked him) and my girlfriend asks to take all of us to my place for drinks. At my place (my daughter watching tv) I give them whisky cola and beers, she opens my fridge and sees about 12 beers, she immediately starts pushing me on how that’s not enough, we needed way more beer in the fridge. I drove her to the night shop (leaving the sis and her boyfriend alone in my apartment with my daughter, something I bet she’d never ever do if I were the one staying). We pick up more beers and Corona, then at my place she barely touches that beer, they just drink one Corona, why on earth did she make me drive to the night shop? There’s a party! She invited me to a party at her niece's place. I get Peruvian food and they charge 2 euro for a beer. The night begins great, I meet her friends and her father, great people. All of this is still in the concept of a friend, I’m not a boyfriend officially. Her daughter is playing in another room in the house, but she didn’t have any connection on her phone so I gave my phone as an access point. From time to time I ask my gf to give me my phone in case I receive a message or a call. Then I cross a line, I knock on the door of the room containing her daughter, just to check my phone, I notify her it’s me, my gf notices this, completely freaks out, yells at her daughter on how she can’t open for anyone including me. That actually hurt, we might not be dating that long but I’m no stranger either. Still I don't question her as a mother, yet she could have done this more friendly. The party continues, I get along with her dad and all her friends. She’s being nice, even holds my hand, yet to receive a kiss I had to be alone in another room with her. Every time I take a beer, I offer her one. She immediately asks to buy beers for other people, no worries, I agree. A fight breaks out between a few drunks, twice, with a bunch of drunk Peruvians piled up. After the fight one of her slutty friends (really that woman was a trainwreck) starts to twerk against me, I step back because I don’t do that with another woman. People start to cheer upon us, I give in for a few seconds, yet I make sure not to touch her, that's not a message I want to send to my gf, even if I’m just a friend in public. She gets angry again, thinking I’m a cheater and immediately starts to do the same dance with random men. I told her this wasn’t right, I’ve been playing the friend the entire evening, I never even touched that other woman, having this sort of petty revenge is below all means. She remains furious, yet we can talk in private, she turns around, kisses me and we make up. The party ends, I go home, she goes to sleep in that room with her daughter, peace is restored. One day (a few weeks ago) we're sitting in my car, she's all over me and tells me how I belong to her (completely love bombing me), suddenly she tells me how I have to tattoo her name on my manhood. I wanted to call her bluff, so I accepted her challenge if she tattooed my name on her body. Surprisingly she agreed, she even suggested my name on her boobs. A few days later I told her a manhood tattoo is a bit too insane (and also medically dangerous) so I accept her name on another part and my daughter's name on my arm. She agrees and sticks with the idea of my name on her boobs and adds a ring tattoo with our initials and those of our kids. She keeps talking about this for days like she really really wants my name. This was a bit odd, we were together for one month and she wanted our names tattooed, why did I call her bluff? What if she pushes this through? My daughter did react negatively, telling me I’ve been talking about her name for a long time but didn't do anything, yet for my gf’s name I immediately started planning. I told her she’s also in the planning but indeed, I only mentioned the gf and not my daughter, what was I doing? I wake up by this wake up call, I apologize and I prioritize the design of my daughter's name. Still, I’m a man of my words (although my priorities are sometimes overwhelmed by my emotions), so besides my daughter’s name, I also design our other names and the ring. My gf reacts very positively to the designs and appears to look forward to having my name on her body. Is this real? Suddenly, one day she starts doubting and she thinks tattooing a name is way too soon and she'd rather just go for a ring tattoo with my initials. I agree, it’s her body, the idea of my daughter's name remains unchanged. The day before the date for the tattoo, I sent her a message that my daughter picked the design for my tattoo and also hers, she reacted lovely to that. However when I asked what time I should pick her up, she replied with a long answer on how she thought the matter over and it's too soon to have initials tattooed because we don't know what the future brings. And most importantly, she already told me about this (she did not, she just went from name between boobs to initials on finger). I reacted calmly and said I'd still go through with my daughter's name, she's my daughter, I will not regret this. Yet this is just not done, backing down and making me ask before refusing. She didn’t even want to join me to the tattoo shop, but wrote positively that I could use the session for me. On the upside, I did get my daughter’s name tattooed and I’m absolutely thrilled about that. And in retrospect, by not tattooing our names she saved me from a very big mistake. Her daughter’s birthday! Me and my daughter pick them up and wo go to a nautical zoo, a fucking long drive but still an awesome daytrip. We buy a game for her Nintendo Switch packed in a box full of candy, chocolate and crisps and we head off to the zoo. In the zoo we have a blast, we even go through an obstacle course where I take her daughter with me. When the visit is over we visit the gift shop, my daughter chooses something sensibly she likes (she always does this), her daughter ravages the store. No worries, it’s her birthday, have a second gift, I take the bill. We drove off and she started talking about her upcoming birthday next month and she asked me if I could arrange a cabin at a river for about seven people. I told her I'd look. She immediately said she's only interested in that and she doesn't mind if I'm not able, yet I could sense discard in her voice. (I could be wrong here, she did mention her party somewhere that weekend) I tell her again my daughter needs braces, which I'm funding completely since her mom refuses to pay anything, so since braces are insanely expensive there will be moments where I'll be forced to decline activities that cost money, however I do what’s possible. I mentioned this several times since we started going out again and every time she reacted in a positive way, then why this type of reaction now? We go back to my place, she cooks (honestly she cooks amazing), we have some fun and we drive back to her place to deposit her daughter with her dad, my daughter stays at home. She tells me she wants to change clothes, meaning I can add 30 mins to my wait outside, always outside, I never enter her place apparently. Then we go to some friends of mine, I get to introduce her, we’re at their place just having fun and playing pool. My friends welcomed her immediately, trying to speak Spanish and making an effort to make her feel at home. When the night ends we go back to my place, to discover I’m out of coke for the whisky cola, she pushed me to go to the night shop but sadly they were all closed. She kept pushing me to drive back to her neighborhood to buy coke. I drove almost 400 km that day, I didn’t really want to but she kept pushing. Once entering her neighborhood she gets a call from her friend (that trainwreck), she asks me to visit her because she was crying and needed someone, she warned me not to give my number or any contact data because she’s very jealous (this wasn’t the first time she said that, really I don’t like that friend). Once arrived she had a drink with that drunk friend till my gf got sick about that herself, we dropped her off (she peed on the street) and went back to my place, with coke. At my place, she changes from her clothes to one of my shirts and we start watching South American videos on YouTube. Suddenly she shows me a video of a quinceanera party, apparently that’s a big party for when a girl turns 15, with horses, music and all the whatnot. My daughter rides horses as a sport, we know the people from the stables, looking at the video this doesn’t look that difficult to organize so I propose to her we can pull this off. Her mood changes, she reluctantly tells me I shouldn’t be pretending like she meant as much to me as my own daughter. (Yea of course my own daughter comes first to me, so does her to her, but that wasn’t the point. I have never disregarded her daughter, I mentioned many times that she's a fantastic child and I treat her with love. Also this wasn’t a situation where I had to choose, I only proposed that if she wants a party, we know the stables. She continues her rant going on and on, at one point she’s back in Peru and around 10yo and she starts crying because some men from her family touched her in inappropriate places. At that point I thought she was going mental but I still did the right thing, hugged her and calmed her down. Then she jumped up and started dancing. By that time we were around 08:00 and I said we had to turn the music down because we could wake up my daughter, she said we could continue in my room. (That made me happy, watching my gf dancing naked all night without being allowed to do anything but dance was a very strong foreplay) She goes to my room, I look for my phone, I enter my room and I find her dead asleep. I sleep beside her for a few hours, she wakes up, makes a move on me and we have sex. Later on, I drove her home (this is the last time I’ll ever see her) and we talked about her birthday party. When she asked me a few days back what I had planned for her birthday, my ideas weren’t good, she wanted me to rent a house for about 8 people. The house had to be in nature by a river. Driving her home, I admit I’m afraid I won’t be able to cater this on such a short notice, she replied she was prepared for the fact that I wouldn’t be able. Again, I’m a man of my word but I have almost nothing to work with here, I don’t even know how her friends or family are able to get there. One morning I sent her my attempts to find cabins but they’re all ridiculously expensive (I did jack up the price but with her there are always hidden costs), she didn't believe me and gave me an answer like if I'm not able we should just drop everything. I even asked her sister's number, asking if we could organize something together because she already mentioned she was also planning. She did give her contact but I can't help but feel her reluctance over this. The sister replied, making demands, immediately telling me what I have to pay (I did not mention anything about money, I only mentioned location, beers, friends, etc.) I agree, as long as I’m able, that’s all. A few days later the sister changes the house for 8 people to a single space for 12 people. Shortly after my gf aggressively sends me I should stop because I’m not doing anything anyway. Again, I work, meaning several hours of my day are committed to the company, I’m available, just not 24/7. I say I’d rather be involved but I respect her decision, I’m her boyfriend so I should be able to give her an experience for her birthday. She lashes out, telling me if I really was her boyfriend I’d organize her party and not try to make her sister pay. I did nothing of the sort, I wanted to organize with several people for a better organization, nothing more.
Later on she even thought the fact that I agreed to her pushing me out of the organization was horrible. The love in her messages made place for cold text. A few days later she compared our relation with her sister’s, telling me how that Cuban boyfriend makes sure she never has to pay for anything (Drinks, babysit, even parts of her rent) She went on about how I’m cold, never took care of her and only used her for sex. She told me she never had a boyfriend like me, she was absolutely struck by how poorly she was treated compared to how other men treat their woman. She even said I force her to share the gifts I give her. I started thinking back and indeed, a few months ago we weren’t officially together yet and she posted about how Valentine was about love and friendship, I gave her a big box of chocolates and I jokingly said this wasn’t for her alone, also for her daughter and other family members that wanted to try. I told her that’s the friendship part, she loved that idea, yet in silence that seemed to build resentment. I replied that here in Europe men and women are equal, paying everything would be an insult to a woman’s independence. (I didn’t reply on the other accusations) This was not an attempt to discard her culture so I added the fact that with great respect for her culture, she’s living in mine, this should result in a healthy mix and not one culture winning over the other. Yes since I was writing Spanish I accidentally used the word conquer instead of “winning over” so she aggressively reacted to that. I told her that’s not what I mean, that was the last we said, she didn’t reply anymore. Somewhere back in her rant I asked if she was dumping me over text, to which she replied: “Of course not.” Although that could have been sarcasm I was hurt, confused on how a situation with nothing but love and attachment could turn into this nightmare over communication about a party. A good (female) friend of mine told me she should pay for her own fucking party of she wants one, but I was too emotional to accept this. I did something I regret, I wrote on my Whatsapp status that if my daughter ever treats a man like she treated me, I’ve officially failed as a dad and a few other pics on healing from abuse, all in English. Yes it’s petty, I know, my emotions got the better of me. Yesterday (and today), her fb and Whatsapp status is packed with videos on how real men should treat real women. Is she punching back for my status, is she just using a coping mechanism, did she read my status at all? I don’t know but it felt like I was being kicked when I was down. She keeps on telling me how she hates people that waste her time but I'm afraid that's exactly what she did to me. Did I really invest in a person that doesn’t exist? Did I really come short? Was I really a cold boyfriend? If there’s one silver lining, I used the money for her party to buy a new firearm. The story has a lot more details than this, but it's been long enough already, by all means, ask me anything if I haven't been clear somewhere.

First of all, my apologies, I posted this before, everyone told me to leave and I didn't listen.
Here's the full story, with all the possible details
TL;DR: Have I really been a neglecting boyfriend after not organizing a birthday party?
At this moment I feel devastated and heartbroken and I’d like to write my story down. It's rather long and very detailed. I noticed that I tend to switch between past and present tense. I'm supposed to be fluent in English but it’s not my native language and I apologize for any inconsistencies. I also seem to be going back and forth with the timeline, my apologies for this. So about a year ago I met someone from South America, she spoke only Spanish, none of my native languages, which are Dutch and French so I tried my best to speak Spanish (I'm okay, just not fluent) and we went on a date. She talked about her native country, which is Peru, her daughter (8yo at the time), I talked about stuff in my life (I’m a biker, sports shooter and I go to the gym a few times a week), and my daughter (11yo at the time). By the way, all of this happens in my country, which is Belgium. The date went really well, however she started drinking rather heavily and we ended up in my place having sex, the day after everything went really friendly although she was rather embarrassed she went that far on a first date. I assured her that's not really my style either but we were both in a party mood and drunk and one thing led to another. In the upcoming weeks we continued seeing each other (just regular dates, nothing sexual) and we got along really fine, what I did notice was that she never offered to pay for anything. For the moment she's not a legal resident so she can't work legally and she only works as a babysitter at someone's house so I let that slide. I do make a lot more than she does and I drive a company car so money is less tight to me, however this doesn't mean my resources are limitless. I take care of my daughter financially, I try to save for her and myself, for my sports, traveling so although I make a lot, life is very expensive. Let’s say I usually find a balance between enjoying life with my money and being responsible. She making a lot less money doesn’t mean she has nothing either, although I remain chivalrous, in Belgium it’s very common for a woman to pay as well, it’s more about the act and not really about the money. (Of course it’s different when you live together.) Also men and women are equal here, yet at the same time I try to take into account and show respect for the fact that this might be completely different in her culture. She did show she doesn't easily trust men, calling all men liars, continuously saying she believes in actions and is very reluctant towards words, always expressing the fact she’s completely independent. I did find this contradictory with her attitude to let men pay for her, but okay, different culture and a language barrier. (She speaks incredibly fast and sometimes understanding her was a task). At one point she asked (in a message) if I wanted to get to know her sisters, since family is important to her I enthusiastically said yes (I thought she was introducing me to her family), she interpreted this as an attempt to date her sisters and immediately blocked me. At this moment I panicked, I called a friend of hers and tried to explain the misunderstanding. Luckily she unblocked me and we continued talking and dating. However to avoid this in the future, I did say to her that if I ever were to say anything offensive, to ask or notify me, I speak Spanish rather fairly but it’s not my native language, so with this language barrier mistakes are always possible. She once even reacted in anger because she thought I wrote too many messages that indicated I wanted her for sex only, I apologized, assured her that is not the case and I also showed this in my actions. One very positive point, I picked up my Spanish lessons from school again and I started studying again so my Spanish would improve and indeed, these types of misunderstandings did more or less go away. However, now that I’m looking back, her attempts to learn French were no more than some basic phrases and my warning for the mistakes wasn’t taken into account for. After some more weeks passed by, we did seem to like each other a lot and she seemed to let her guard down, she started talking about doing activities with our kids, some time later she really wanted a relationship with me. Her daughter was really nice, she almost immediately became friends with my daughter, my gf was so pleased, we really connected. Then I made a horrible mistake, I didn't delete a dating app on my phone and she found conversations from the first week of our official relationship. (We were a month along) In my defense, I also have friends (non sexual) I met on these apps and the conversations were nothing more than a hello. Still I understand her feeling reluctant, I didn't show respect there, however she said nothing, and that night when I was sleeping she wrote a long message on how I was a horrible cheater and blocked me again. The last I could see was a status update where she filmed herself adding text she doesn’t need a man. Same story, talked to her friend, unblocked and we continued. I delete the dating app, I apologize for the lack of respect and I show her I'm actually loyal. About two months passed and we're in a nice relationship, however her wallet stayed closed. She even went as far as asking me for money to tip the waiter. Note: Tipping isn’t that customary in my country, the waiter was really confused. One night when we were going out I had enough. I just told her I was out of cash. Suddenly she pulls out a 50 euro bill (to the readers from the USA, a Euro is slightly higher than a dollar), gives me the bill and tells me she can lend me money so I can continue buying drinks and pay back the money later. I was dumbfounded. I asked her why she just couldn't offer a drink but she didn't seem to go with that story. In the pub she continuously kept saying I was tired and I should go home, I wasn’t tired at all but after a while I was fed up and I said: “Okay, I’ll go home.” Then she surprised me again, she asked me to pay a few beers forward (with the money she lent me) so she can continue drinking while I go home. I thought: “You know what? Take it, I’ve had it for today.” I pay for the beers and I walk out. Then she follows me and stops me, asking me to stay. At this point she really started to irritate me, ask me to go or stay but make a decision. We went back to the pub, I took one of the prepaid beers, which she didn’t like because those were hers supposedly. Suddenly the police entered the pub, they received a complaint about the noise, nothing special, just a standard visit. However, the bartender (a good female friend of my gf), also foreign didn’t have any identification, apparently she was here illegally. Police, forced to do their job, arrests her, my gf starts lashing out at the police, I tried to stop her because she’s here illegally as well. Had a friendly chat with the police, they were even impressed that I could speak foreign languages, really nice guys. At some point I had to pee, unfortunately the police weren't allowed to let us back inside the pub so I went somewhere between houses. (Not my style either but the pressure was high) When I came back my gf was gone, she thought I bailed, asked no questions and was walking home. I explained here why I was gone and later on she asked me to drive to the police station to find her friend, I tried to talk her out of that idea, trying to explain she’s being held for questioning and she’ll probably just be released in a few hours. She wouldn’t listen and wanted to go to the police station, at that point another friend of hers joined us and I drove them to a closed police station. The night ends, I drop them off and I go home. Luckily not all of our dates went like that, mostly we went to pubs, then ended up at my place where she changed into one of my shirts, looked at latin music on YouTube and then ended up spending the night. We did go to a Peruvian restaurant once, I let her order for me, no tourist food, the real experience. She orders her food, eats a part, decides it wasn’t tasty and just orders something else. You guessed it, I paid the bill. One day she talks about her daughter's upcoming anniversary (in a message), I propose to buy her a gift, however I'd like to wait a few weeks till my funds are replenished. She bursts out in anger, again, still unable to write my name correctly (that’s a real frustration, from the very beginning she wrote my name wrong), telling me how I'm always talking about money (I don't, I calculate a lot but I rarely talk about this) and she blocks me again. I was fed up, I just came from another relationship with a narcissist (true story) and I realized I was still in a people please mode, I couldn’t handle another one of these situations. I didn't call her friend anymore, I picked up the pieces of my heart and I went on. I told my daughter she wouldn't be seeing her daughter anymore (they got along really well so she was sad), picked my life back up and started focusing on healing rather than being with someone. The narcissist I mentioned is not the person in this story, I’m referring to a previous relationship. A few days later she sent me a poorly translated text with her bank account, asking me to deposit the 50 euro she lent me, minus 3 euro for an iPhone cover I bought her online. I ignored the message and went on with my life. I don’t steal from people but this was compensation for me. A few months later she texted me again, telling me how she misses our daughters being together and she really wants to see me. I agree on the condition that it's her time to pay for a drink. Yes you are allowed to call me an idiot here. So we went on a friendly date, she did pay, more or less, scratching the change in her pocket and barely getting to pay the bill for a few beers. However she did make a move on me again, I just went with it without expecting anything. That weekend we went out, the wallet was closed again and the romance was shifted back to friends and nothing more, she even asked me to take her friends out in the future. Yet instead of telling her to sod off, I felt hurt, meaning I wasn't healed as much as I wanted, I did improve but I still had a long way to go. The day after I sent her a message that going out as friends was too much for me and I couldn't see her on these terms anymore. (You could say I should have been more direct or blunt but I felt bad enough as it was and I also wanted to break her stereotypical view that all men take advantage of women). She replies in a very long message on how she's independent, I reply with an apology in case I ever hurt her. I hide my own pain, and once again I move on. Thanks to therapy, self reflection and really good friends I find myself again, I even have a few sexual encounters (always lifts the spirit), I take care of my daughter and I take (and improve) life one day at a time. A few months later, you guessed it, she texts me again. She misses me and she wants to get back in touch. I admit she has a special place in my heart, but no matter how special that is, she's not coming in anymore with that "all men are liars" and "I don't pay anything" attitude. For once I'm putting my brain ahead of my heart. We go out for a drink, she picks up the pill, we end up at my place, she spends the night. The day after I drop her off and I decide to take things differently, I send sweet yet straightforward messages, ignoring her evasive words and she becomes really impressed. I sent her an email, talking about the heavy divorce I had with my daughter’s mom, how she tried to demand way too much money from me and how I had to rebuild enormously financially, explaining why I’m reluctant to let people in my life who demand I pay everything. I don’t mind her not being able to pay a lot, but be fair. I do tell her my daughter needs braces and since her mom doesn’t feel like contributing I’m taking the full bill, which will be between 3000 and 4000 euro, meaning I don’t mind paying but sometimes I’ll be unable. That was only a small part of the mail, I really hate these ridiculous financial conversations and I do not want to give the impression here that our relation completely revolved around who pays the bill in the pub. I talk mostly about what happened with my daughter’s mom and the narcissist and what I expect from a relationship. She reacted very lovely to my mail and she seemed to really want to be with me. I was very clear, she could come back, however she knew my boundaries. I did receive a sad message from her, saying she wants to be with me but she can’t contribute in a financial way the way I demand from her. I simply reply that’s not what I meant with my message and there’s more to contribute to a relationship than money. She starts making an effort, I start getting messages that are more and more romantic. She doesn't freak out anymore, she seems to be dropping this overly independent attitude, I stay vigilant but she seems to be taking a turn for the better. Note that at this point we're more than a year further since our initial date. The insecurity wasn’t gone, one night, as a reply to a romantic message from me, she asks why I’m being romantic. I can just ask for sex if I want, I don’t have to lie and pretend I love her. Instead of denying, I agreed, I said I did want sex with her, but for romantic reasons and not just physical. She replied that she really wants me but she’s just so afraid, I calmly replied I didn’t mind. I accepted her so I also accept her fears, I accept her with all her positive and negative traits, not just the parts I like. This seemed to have given her a sense of trust and security We go out, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with our kids, she pays (a small part but again, it’s the act, not the money), she was really opening up and we were really getting fond of each other. There wasn't a single message that wasn’t followed with hearts and other romantic gestures. On my behalf, I show her that my words are followed with action, I'm not one of these men that give empty promises like she tends to believe. One day I surprised her with concert tickets for a sold out concert for Karol G. She reacts euphorically but suddenly asks if I have a ticket for her daughter as well. I told her I wasn't able to score a third ticket as this was from a reseller and I can only buy what they're offering. (Note: There were more available at that reseller but I was at my limit. I learned from the past, I already take her to her favorite singer for free.) She tells me she can't enjoy the concert without her daughter and starts looking for tickets at resellers (including sites I really don't trust), she even thought about VIP tickets because why not. (I was like: “ WTF, we’re sitting in a pub, I’m buying the beer, you ask me to buy you food, I agree because you have less and then you start looking for VIP tickets) I told her the VIP tickets are not sold out but insanely expensive (about 450 euro), she replied she didn’t mind when it’s for her daughter. In case you're wondering if I accept her daughter, I really do. She's a wonderful child, the concert is just really expensive and also not really a place where I'd take a 9yo. I thought: “Please no, not this financial crap again.” The day after she sends me reseller sites that I find untrustworthy, taking her daughter was the only thing she could put her mind on. In the upcoming weeks I continue having a relationship with her the way I do relations, I do a lot of activities, I show her I'm a man of my word. I make a list of all activities I want to do with her (or our kids), she reacts very lovely to that. And yes I start executing everything I planned, tropical pool for the four of us, private sauna for the two of us, etc. We’re having a double date! On one of our dates she asked me to pick up her sister and boyfriend to go to a restaurant. This adds about an hour to my driving time but I don’t mind, my investment into a slowly opening relationship. That night my daughter was with me but since she’s 13 now she can easily spend an evening by herself. In the restaurant, she still acts like a date and not my gf. The sister makes everything a bit more acceptable since she was the only one that spoke and understood French. Her boyfriend pays for the entire table (I genuinely thanked him) and my girlfriend asks to take all of us to my place for drinks. At my place (my daughter watching tv) I give them whisky cola and beers, she opens my fridge and sees about 12 beers, she immediately starts pushing me on how that’s not enough, we needed way more beer in the fridge. I drove her to the night shop (leaving the sis and her boyfriend alone in my apartment with my daughter, something I bet she’d never ever do if I were the one staying). We pick up more beers and Corona, then at my place she barely touches that beer, they just drink one Corona, why on earth did she make me drive to the night shop? There’s a party! She invited me to a party at her niece's place. I get Peruvian food and they charge 2 euro for a beer. The night begins great, I meet her friends and her father, great people. All of this is still in the concept of a friend, I’m not a boyfriend officially. Her daughter is playing in another room in the house, but she didn’t have any connection on her phone so I gave my phone as an access point. From time to time I ask my gf to give me my phone in case I receive a message or a call. Then I cross a line, I knock on the door of the room containing her daughter, just to check my phone, I notify her it’s me, my gf notices this, completely freaks out, yells at her daughter on how she can’t open for anyone including me. That actually hurt, we might not be dating that long but I’m no stranger either. Still I don't question her as a mother, yet she could have done this more friendly. The party continues, I get along with her dad and all her friends. She’s being nice, even holds my hand, yet to receive a kiss I had to be alone in another room with her. Every time I take a beer, I offer her one. She immediately asks to buy beers for other people, no worries, I agree. A fight breaks out between a few drunks, twice, with a bunch of drunk Peruvians piled up. After the fight one of her slutty friends (really that woman was a trainwreck) starts to twerk against me, I step back because I don’t do that with another woman. People start to cheer upon us, I give in for a few seconds, yet I make sure not to touch her, that's not a message I want to send to my gf, even if I’m just a friend in public. She gets angry again, thinking I’m a cheater and immediately starts to do the same dance with random men. I told her this wasn’t right, I’ve been playing the friend the entire evening, I never even touched that other woman, having this sort of petty revenge is below all means. She remains furious, yet we can talk in private, she turns around, kisses me and we make up. The party ends, I go home, she goes to sleep in that room with her daughter, peace is restored. One day (a few weeks ago) we're sitting in my car, she's all over me and tells me how I belong to her (completely love bombing me), suddenly she tells me how I have to tattoo her name on my manhood. I wanted to call her bluff, so I accepted her challenge if she tattooed my name on her body. Surprisingly she agreed, she even suggested my name on her boobs. A few days later I told her a manhood tattoo is a bit too insane (and also medically dangerous) so I accept her name on another part and my daughter's name on my arm. She agrees and sticks with the idea of my name on her boobs and adds a ring tattoo with our initials and those of our kids. She keeps talking about this for days like she really really wants my name. This was a bit odd, we were together for one month and she wanted our names tattooed, why did I call her bluff? What if she pushes this through? My daughter did react negatively, telling me I’ve been talking about her name for a long time but didn't do anything, yet for my gf’s name I immediately started planning. I told her she’s also in the planning but indeed, I only mentioned the gf and not my daughter, what was I doing? I wake up by this wake up call, I apologize and I prioritize the design of my daughter's name. Still, I’m a man of my words (although my priorities are sometimes overwhelmed by my emotions), so besides my daughter’s name, I also design our other names and the ring. My gf reacts very positively to the designs and appears to look forward to having my name on her body. Is this real? Suddenly, one day she starts doubting and she thinks tattooing a name is way too soon and she'd rather just go for a ring tattoo with my initials. I agree, it’s her body, the idea of my daughter's name remains unchanged. The day before the date for the tattoo, I sent her a message that my daughter picked the design for my tattoo and also hers, she reacted lovely to that. However when I asked what time I should pick her up, she replied with a long answer on how she thought the matter over and it's too soon to have initials tattooed because we don't know what the future brings. And most importantly, she already told me about this (she did not, she just went from name between boobs to initials on finger). I reacted calmly and said I'd still go through with my daughter's name, she's my daughter, I will not regret this. Yet this is just not done, backing down and making me ask before refusing. She didn’t even want to join me to the tattoo shop, but wrote positively that I could use the session for me. On the upside, I did get my daughter’s name tattooed and I’m absolutely thrilled about that. And in retrospect, by not tattooing our names she saved me from a very big mistake. Her daughter’s birthday! Me and my daughter pick them up and wo go to a nautical zoo, a fucking long drive but still an awesome daytrip. We buy a game for her Nintendo Switch packed in a box full of candy, chocolate and crisps and we head off to the zoo. In the zoo we have a blast, we even go through an obstacle course where I take her daughter with me. When the visit is over we visit the gift shop, my daughter chooses something sensibly she likes (she always does this), her daughter ravages the store. No worries, it’s her birthday, have a second gift, I take the bill. We drove off and she started talking about her upcoming birthday next month and she asked me if I could arrange a cabin at a river for about seven people. I told her I'd look. She immediately said she's only interested in that and she doesn't mind if I'm not able, yet I could sense discard in her voice. (I could be wrong here, she did mention her party somewhere that weekend) I tell her again my daughter needs braces, which I'm funding completely since her mom refuses to pay anything, so since braces are insanely expensive there will be moments where I'll be forced to decline activities that cost money, however I do what’s possible. I mentioned this several times since we started going out again and every time she reacted in a positive way, then why this type of reaction now? We go back to my place, she cooks (honestly she cooks amazing), we have some fun and we drive back to her place to deposit her daughter with her dad, my daughter stays at home. She tells me she wants to change clothes, meaning I can add 30 mins to my wait outside, always outside, I never enter her place apparently. Then we go to some friends of mine, I get to introduce her, we’re at their place just having fun and playing pool. My friends welcomed her immediately, trying to speak Spanish and making an effort to make her feel at home. When the night ends we go back to my place, to discover I’m out of coke for the whisky cola, she pushed me to go to the night shop but sadly they were all closed. She kept pushing me to drive back to her neighborhood to buy coke. I drove almost 400 km that day, I didn’t really want to but she kept pushing. Once entering her neighborhood she gets a call from her friend (that trainwreck), she asks me to visit her because she was crying and needed someone, she warned me not to give my number or any contact data because she’s very jealous (this wasn’t the first time she said that, really I don’t like that friend). Once arrived she had a drink with that drunk friend till my gf got sick about that herself, we dropped her off (she peed on the street) and went back to my place, with coke. At my place, she changes from her clothes to one of my shirts and we start watching South American videos on YouTube. Suddenly she shows me a video of a quinceanera party, apparently that’s a big party for when a girl turns 15, with horses, music and all the whatnot. My daughter rides horses as a sport, we know the people from the stables, looking at the video this doesn’t look that difficult to organize so I propose to her we can pull this off. Her mood changes, she reluctantly tells me I shouldn’t be pretending like she meant as much to me as my own daughter. (Yea of course my own daughter comes first to me, so does her to her, but that wasn’t the point. I have never disregarded her daughter, I mentioned many times that she's a fantastic child and I treat her with love. Also this wasn’t a situation where I had to choose, I only proposed that if she wants a party, we know the stables. She continues her rant going on and on, at one point she’s back in Peru and around 10yo and she starts crying because some men from her family touched her in inappropriate places. At that point I thought she was going mental but I still did the right thing, hugged her and calmed her down. Then she jumped up and started dancing. By that time we were around 08:00 and I said we had to turn the music down because we could wake up my daughter, she said we could continue in my room. (That made me happy, watching my gf dancing naked all night without being allowed to do anything but dance was a very strong foreplay) She goes to my room, I look for my phone, I enter my room and I find her dead asleep. I sleep beside her for a few hours, she wakes up, makes a move on me and we have sex. Later on, I drove her home (this is the last time I’ll ever see her) and we talked about her birthday party. When she asked me a few days back what I had planned for her birthday, my ideas weren’t good, she wanted me to rent a house for about 8 people. The house had to be in nature by a river. Driving her home, I admit I’m afraid I won’t be able to cater this on such a short notice, she replied she was prepared for the fact that I wouldn’t be able. Again, I’m a man of my word but I have almost nothing to work with here, I don’t even know how her friends or family are able to get there. One morning I sent her my attempts to find cabins but they’re all ridiculously expensive (I did jack up the price but with her there are always hidden costs), she didn't believe me and gave me an answer like if I'm not able we should just drop everything. I even asked her sister's number, asking if we could organize something together because she already mentioned she was also planning. She did give her contact but I can't help but feel her reluctance over this. The sister replied, making demands, immediately telling me what I have to pay (I did not mention anything about money, I only mentioned location, beers, friends, etc.) I agree, as long as I’m able, that’s all. A few days later the sister changes the house for 8 people to a single space for 12 people. Shortly after my gf aggressively sends me I should stop because I’m not doing anything anyway. Again, I work, meaning several hours of my day are committed to the company, I’m available, just not 24/7. I say I’d rather be involved but I respect her decision, I’m her boyfriend so I should be able to give her an experience for her birthday. She lashes out, telling me if I really was her boyfriend I’d organize her party and not try to make her sister pay. I did nothing of the sort, I wanted to organize with several people for a better organization, nothing more.
Later on she even thought the fact that I agreed to her pushing me out of the organization was horrible. The love in her messages made place for cold text. A few days later she compared our relation with her sister’s, telling me how that Cuban boyfriend makes sure she never has to pay for anything (Drinks, babysit, even parts of her rent) She went on about how I’m cold, never took care of her and only used her for sex. She told me she never had a boyfriend like me, she was absolutely struck by how poorly she was treated compared to how other men treat their woman. She even said I force her to share the gifts I give her. I started thinking back and indeed, a few months ago we weren’t officially together yet and she posted about how Valentine was about love and friendship, I gave her a big box of chocolates and I jokingly said this wasn’t for her alone, also for her daughter and other family members that wanted to try. I told her that’s the friendship part, she loved that idea, yet in silence that seemed to build resentment. I replied that here in Europe men and women are equal, paying everything would be an insult to a woman’s independence. (I didn’t reply on the other accusations) This was not an attempt to discard her culture so I added the fact that with great respect for her culture, she’s living in mine, this should result in a healthy mix and not one culture winning over the other. Yes since I was writing Spanish I accidentally used the word conquer instead of “winning over” so she aggressively reacted to that. I told her that’s not what I mean, that was the last we said, she didn’t reply anymore. Somewhere back in her rant I asked if she was dumping me over text, to which she replied: “Of course not.” Although that could have been sarcasm I was hurt, confused on how a situation with nothing but love and attachment could turn into this nightmare over communication about a party. A good (female) friend of mine told me she should pay for her own fucking party of she wants one, but I was too emotional to accept this. I did something I regret, I wrote on my Whatsapp status that if my daughter ever treats a man like she treated me, I’ve officially failed as a dad and a few other pics on healing from abuse, all in English. Yes it’s petty, I know, my emotions got the better of me. Yesterday (and today), her fb and Whatsapp status is packed with videos on how real men should treat real women. Is she punching back for my status, is she just using a coping mechanism, did she read my status at all? I don’t know but it felt like I was being kicked when I was down. She keeps on telling me how she hates people that waste her time but I'm afraid that's exactly what she did to me. Did I really invest in a person that doesn’t exist? Did I really come short? Was I really a cold boyfriend? If there’s one silver lining, I used the money for her party to buy a new firearm. The story has a lot more details than this, but it's been long enough already, by all means, ask me anything if I haven't been clear somewhere.

Ex and I had a fall out which caused her to block me. We both have iphones and know that when it doesnt give "delivered" on the bottom it means they blocked you. However, I just noticed today that it says delivered now... does this mean I just got unblocked?

Ex and I had a fall out which caused her to block me. We both have iphones and know that when it doesnt give "delivered" on the bottom it means they blocked you. However, I just noticed today that it says delivered now... does this mean I just got unblocked?