So far I have 75,000 spread out between a regular savings, thrift savings plan, a roth IRA, an HSA, a 401K, and a HYSA. I'm stuck. I feel like i have too many accounts.. I also have a new 500,000 mortgage and 10,000 left on my car, no other debt. Parents are elderly but not in a nursing home (yet). Dual income no kids we make 180,000 a year, I just got this new job a few months ago and I've never made this much in my life. Im extremely grateful to have this "problem". I've just been used to saving my whole life. I just don't know where to put everything now. I want to max everything out, pay everything off save it all... but how do I know what to do first?? Do I go by interest rate? I'm inclined to kill my car debt. I know I need a better emergency fund now that we have a mortgage...
To note - company does not match the 401k. I have it from a previous job that DID match. HYSA is 4%. Mortgage is 6.5%. I don't plan to touch my thrift savings. I do want to max my roth. How should I spread this out? Would love to see how others have their setup and gain some wise advice.

I don’t exactly know where to start here. Since turning 18 I’ve had many financial struggles and long story short I have a TON (~70-80k after interest added) of school debt, a bit of medical debt (~3000 from an emergency surgery), and some personal loan debt (~2000). No credit card debt because I’ve never had one and don’t plan on having one.
Needless to say, I get a ton of voicemails from debt collectors and scammers pretending to be debt collectors. So it’s really hard for me to weed out the legit debt collectors. I’m always too afraid to call them back and ID myself in case I screw myself over. Especially since I finally just now started making enough money to just pay all of my regular bills on time. Sometimes I do have to pick between eating for the day and gas in my car but it’s becoming a bit less frequent now. I’m so scared all these debt collectors will sue me for the debt I cannot repay yet before I’m officially “back on my feet” and plunge me back deeper into the hole.
These two recent voice mails I received are concerning in a different way. The voice mail said “This is (Name) calling from the law office of Brett Boylan please return this call when you receive this message.” That’s it. Every other debt collector call I’ve ever gotten has been “This is (Name) calling to speak to (My Name). Please return this call etc”.
I looked them up and they are in fact a real law firm that specializes in “Corporate, Municipal, Elder, Environmental, Estate Planning, Plaintiff’s Negligence Litigation, and Real Estate as well as Trust and Estate administration” (taken directly verbatim from their website). So that further confuses me as to why they have my number and are calling me since it seems they don’t do anything involving debt collection. But I’m not a lawyer so I may be mistaken.
Now, I know legally they probably can’t leave a voice mail detailing what the call is for (I wish they would it would relieve my anxiety a lot) but it’s weird that they didn’t even mention my name.
I’m just worried and so lost. If I barely make enough to pay my bills now how will I ever pay them if they garnish my wages? Should I call this law firm back or does it seem like another scam?

Hello ipad users. I'm not the typical use case for these devices, but was hoping to gain insight on these devices and which to choose. This will be my first apple device since the ipod touch 5 gen when I was a pre-teen. I don't own anything in the apple ecosystem, but wanted this device for a very specific reason: There is a guy who builds iPad dash mod kits that allows you to use iPads as a removable center console in any vehicle. I own an old school mercedes and rather than buying those cheap chinese head units, I was going to get a sony double din stereo then use the dash kit to have the iPad mini sit overtop for a clean aesthetic. This device would primarily be used for listening to music and navigation while driving. I primarily use either my android phone or desktop computer for everything, and I have an old lenovo yogabook android tablet (actually writing this post on it) that I only use for media consumption, reading, and signing PDFs, so that is what the ipad mini would potentially replace outside of use in my car. While the current specs of the mini 6 are more than enough for my use case, what I'm more concerned about is long term support by apple. Seeing as this will be a somewhat permanent mod to my vehicle, I want to get the most use out of it, as this is a for life car for me. Since the mini 6 is 3-4 years old now, how much longer does it have for software support (mainly for apps, OS version doesn't matter to me) before it will be dropped, and does it make sense to just wait since mini 7 release is about a year away. Mini 6 prices are really good now but I'm willing to pay extra for greater support and longevity. My yogabook is on android 7 but thanks to larger freedom on downloading applications on android, its still useable 8 years later. Thanks in advance for the help!

My wife and I are looking to buy our first car ever.
We have finally decided to choose between the cars mentioned. We are both 27 years old and planning to have a child in a year or two, so we want the car seat to fit comfortably when needed in the future. Since this is our first car, I don't have much idea about how much we will drive, but I am assuming around 1500-2000 km per month. I don't have any preference in terms of driving, and I honestly liked both cars when I did the test drive.
I know I'm comparing a sedan with a CUV, but this is what we have come up with.
From my research and talking with dealers, I am getting the Civic Sport (second top trim below Touring) for $31,500 CAD and the CX-5 (base trim) for $33,600 CAD. I will not be changing my car for at least 5 years.
On top of the Civic pricing, I am also getting all-weather mats, theft protection, my choice of color for free, and a few other extra fees removed, which I am not getting with the CX-5 and would have to pay extra for if I wanted them.
Regarding the driving and feel of the car, I liked both but felt the CX-5 (AWD) is more refined and smooth with the automatic transmission compared to the CVT on the Civic. Fuel-wise, the Civic is better due to the CVT, FWD, and smaller engine. In terms of features, I don't think I'm missing much with the Mazda, but the Civic definitely has the upper hand due to the trim level (moonroof, better looking 18-inch alloys, remote start). Safety-wise, the Mazda has better ratings, but I won't get better resale. I felt the interior space is almost similar in both, but it seemed the Civic is bigger.
For the first year, I am paying the same insurance, but as I gain more experience, I believe the Mazda will be cheaper in the future.
I'm so confused and unable to make a decision about which one to go for.
Tldr;
My wife and I are deciding between our first cars: a Honda Civic Sport ($31,500 CAD) and a Mazda CX-5 ($33,600 CAD). We're 27, planning to have a child soon, and expect to drive about 1500-2000 km/month. The Civic offers more features and extras at a lower price, while the CX-5 feels more refined and smooth to drive. The Mazda has better safety ratings but potentially lower resale value. Both have similar interior space. Insurance costs are the same for the first year, but Mazda might be cheaper long-term. We're struggling to make a decision.

(Asterisk)
I don’t think this post will last long.
One thing I’ve learned over these past few years is that life isn’t like the movies. In the movies, the widower learns to love again and they walk hand-in-hand into a sunset as the credits role. The trouble is, they never show the scenes in between.
I need to dump an old fashioned rant – it won’t make sense, I just need to say it… because I’m in one of those scenes tonight.
I don’t know what’s happening to me right now. Dotty saw it all over my face earlier and she asked me where I was. She’s so good to me and so kind. She wanted to know if I was okay. I was looking at her as she spoke but I had to look down and stop myself. Because I damn nearly told her that I didn’t know who she was.
It’s a simple relapse, nothing more. It’s just that it’s been a lot this week. And I loved her so much.
I have a rule with Dotty, and I would impose it tonight. It’s a good rule, really, and it works either way. All we have to do is say, “I need to be irrational for a little while,” and off we go - no questions. Though I know she hates not asking questions, but I always let her after.
I think PJ brought his mother closer when we had our rowdy discussion because that’s what he needed to do. Part of the deal we brokered was that he could remember her out loud, any time the moment struck him, and he has. We all talk about his mother every day and have from the moment she left – it’s not that. It’s just different with PeeJ. It’s more personal.
He said things that only he would – because PJ sees the world as only he does. Well, maybe not only. He sees the world like I do. And that’s the hitch.
Nobody tells you that the things you’ll miss the most are the little ones. He misses the little things. And for a while, he told me what they were. He misses, for example, how she always asked, “What am I?” before adding whatever fit the moment.
“Mommy, how do geese know when it’s time to fly south?”
“What am I, and ornithologist?”
He misses the way her ankle clicked when she walked, but only in the morning. He misses how she loved to sing, but never got the lyrics right. He misses how she would lead him down wild paths of fantastic stories just to get him to do things, and then blow it all up in the end.
“And it was because of that one book report that a young Hemmingway would change the world.”
“Wow, really?”
“No. But my point is…”
Suzie’s memory is alive in this house and will be for the rest of our lives. It’s just that, recently, it’s been less of a cliché. And I wonder if how I feel tonight is the way he’s felt all along. I don’t know if that makes sense. He’s just a boy; his view is different from mine; his world is smaller. But he sees it just like I do.
I come here to be honest because it helps. The things I can’t say out loud, and all that. The trouble is that honesty is a moving target where things don’t always stay true. In the moment, for example, I wish I had let Dotty go, because I want to be alone. I don’t want to have married again, it was a mistake. Tomorrow will be different.
It’s hard to love Dot and not feel as though I’ve betrayed another promise; it’s always in the back of my mind. And it’s hard to have these thoughts and not see Danny’s face that night, when he lost his temper and yelled, “She’s dead, Mack.”
It wasn’t supposed to be this way and I wonder if I've just been playing along.
I’m also conscious that something more is missing. I watched the boys playing basketball earlier and I watched Zach. He’s perfect. I’m fairly convinced that, had Zach not been hurt, I would have simply stopped living that night, in any real sense of the word. I hate me for that thought, but I’ve had it before. And I wonder if I would have been the same father. While Zach needed me, I had a reason – I will always see to the boys. I feel selfish seeing to me.
The moment in the car with PJ yesterday was substantial – I think I called it one of the most significant moments that I’ve ever shared. There’s a void now, where once there was guilt. People dream of being relieved of such a burden, and here I am wondering what to do without it. Typing that now, I think my epiphany is that if the boys are alright, then I have nothing left but to look at myself. I’ve known this, I’ve said this before. I guess it’s just different when the time actually comes.
I never had a moment to say goodbye – I never saw her again, not even after because they wouldn’t let me. I had no time to process it all and maybe that’s why I came here. If it’s true that in some weird way the idea that I didn’t have time to process it all saved me then, it’s killing me now. I think it’s hitting me at last, for as insane as that may seem and for all that’s happened since.
I’ve always been a simple man, astonished by my own fortune and eternally grateful for it. I came from nothing, but I had it all. I want to type “I still do” but losing Suzie breaks the math. And it feels like nobody will ever understand why. She was my life.
I’ve moved on, I’ve held the hands of my son as they moved on and I still do. I’ve found love again and I’ve motored through the transition with sincerity and a dose of frank honesty. I’ll never lie to Dot. And I do love her – more each day in fact. And I am astonished that the world would offer me something as wonderful, twice in a lifetime. But I hope you see that there remain some things that I still can’t say out loud.
Maybe I just need to feel bad tonight.

Hello. I am a very young adult man with no family (lost to drugs unfortunately) and a badly paying job. I live in Kansas and I am trying to move to Washington, in a specific city, so I can be near someone I know. This part is not gonna change, I know what's best for me, and moving in this specific city is what I am going to do. This is also due to me needing their availability for rides and such, as I do not have a car.
That said, I need to move ASAP. Due to severe issues and my current living situation putting me in physical danger, I need to be out of here by the end of the month, before these changes take place. I'm planning on moving June 1st, arriving the 2nd. I have been endlessly searching for the last few months to no avail. Either the apartments are way too expensive, like, 1,500+ dollars a month, or, they're not available until months out. I found a perfect apartment suited for me, within my budget, etc. But the woman I was talking to told me she'd send me an application, and after calling every couple days to follow up on her empty promise, she finally answered my call today and said something along the lines of,
"I'm so sorry! I know we planned on you being sent the application about a week ago now, it's been in my drafts. But unfortunately the units you were looking at are now taken. I can send you the applications now, and we can get you in here as soon as September!!"
Obviously that isn't going to work for me, and I was highly saddened to find out that the one apartment that would work for me was out of the question for such a silly reason, like her saying she forgot to send me the application, despite me calling every other day checking in to see when she'd send it.
I have poor credit due to my illogical decision when I was 18, letting my druggy mother use my credit card, and I haven't been able to pay it off in it's entirety yet.
Most apartments require you to be making at least 3x rent per month, which isn't in the cards for me, as I am moving states.
I would prefer to find something that pays a utility or two, but that seems to be non-existent. There aren't even any options without utilities paid.
I've been searching and searching, lowering and lowering my preferences, to the point where now, all I require is a roof and a water source. Yet, I can't even find that.
I 'spose I am just posting this here to see if anyone with more knowledge than me has any advice on how to find low income/affordable apartments.
TLDR: I am poor and no apartments are cheap enough for me. I NEED to move from Kansas to Washington due to a dangerous situation and emergency, by June 1st. I have 0 time to push it out. Very stressed and feeling defeated.

Hello! I finally got around to post this, we got married over a month ago and it was such a rollercoaster of emotions. The month before I was the more stressed I have ever been. We got into a car crash, we got sick, flights got canceled. The rehearsal dinnecocktail hour was such a mess I had a panic attack. But none of that mattered the day of the wedding, once I saw my husband there everything was alright, I didn't think once about all the people the didn't show up, all the drama that happened or all the little details that weren't perfect. It ended up being a 40 person wedding which is on the smaller side but everyone was so genuinely happy, supportive and just being able to share that moment made everything worth it. It wasn't perfect but all the little mishaps made it more memorable, like I got an allergic reaction to the greenery and I couldn't do my make up and my husband lost his shirt, it was such a beautiful night and everyone had so much fun.
I hope this helps anyone that is feeling stressed out. I spent the night before crying because of how I stressed and tired I was feeling but everything ends up working out in the end.

I’d like to start by saying this is a sensitive subject for me. I don’t ever discuss or think about it. I may go into more detail than necessary in case it is relevant. If there is somewhere else that I should post this instead, please let me know. This took place in Florida, where we both still live.
I (31 F) met an 18 year old guy on the internet when I was 12 in 2006. We started “dating”. the month I turned 13 our already physical relationship became sexual (which I think was calculated, and by this time he was 19). I was not allowed to date this guy, he was picking me up when my single mom was at work and sneaking me out late at night. He did know it was illegal, and he made sure I was careful not to tell people and frequently coached me to delete our calls and texts from my phone. Eventually we were caught by the police in a park late at night having sex in his car. A report was made, but for whatever reason it was up to me whether I wanted to press charges for statutory rape. I thought this person loved me so I did not want him to get into trouble. He told me he wanted to be a Dr someday and that if I pressed charges I would be ruining that for “us”. As a result of choosing not to press charges my family gave me some pretty harsh consequences, sending me away and taking me out of school. I had contact with him a few times and he was pretty much just making sure I still believed that we were star crossed lovers and that I understood how important it was to protect him from any legal consequences. He did try to get involved with at least one friend my age once I was no longer accessible to him, so I do think looking back maybe it was more predatory than I was able to understand at the time.
Anyway, fast forward 18 years, I decided to look him up today and I have discovered he is a fairly popular plastic surgeon in a VERY popular area for plastic surgery. His social media pages are filled with photos of naked women’s pre and post op photos. And the thought of him having access to anesthetized women is literally making me ill. I know we are well beyond the statute of limitations, and I’m not after any personal gain. Is this something I should report to some sort of medical association? I think because this relates to my own unprocessed trauma I’m not really able to discern whether this is just a “bygones be bygones” type of situation, we were both just teenagers etc, or if perhaps it’s a little more serious.

Today I went to their HQ to make sure I could see some REAL cars that they have produced. I did this because their Marketcap was less than a few million. Yes - you read that right - LESS THAN A FEW MILLION!!
Go back a few years ago and $FFIE marketcap was $4 BILLION.
This stock is REAL, it makes cars, cars for the future, yet how is valued at less than $1,000,000 a few days ago?!
It's been SHORTED and the SHORTS want this thing to die. It's been squashed to a pulp, yet now it's starting to breath again... and fight back it will.
I put a photo in another post that I took today of the cars. wasnt sure how to add a photo into this post - it seems like one or another
Check it, and ride the wave...
As a Tsunami is approaching!!

Saw a post from yesterday and seeing how many people defending audi boiled my blood. So here is my side of the story Not only they make shitty cars, but also services are really sketchy and nickel and dime you.
I have a 2016 Q5 Premium Plus
Bought this car when it had 25k miles on it. Now 65k miles on it and it’s crumbling.
All maintenance was performed timely 25k-35-45-55-65k etc. Up until 50k car was perfect because it was under warranty dealer never pointed out any problems to me at all.
Then warranty expired on next maintenance I got a hefty list of problems needed to be fixed.
Let me list problems so you think twice before buying from this horrible company

• dealer didnt fix backup camera under warranty claimed I had an accident, fought a lot to get it fixed
• coolant and water pump recalls
• back cv joints was broken costs close to $2k to fix it
• engine oil leak is a huge problem, from what audi service told me is that all audis has some sort of adhesive that needs to be re-applied but it’s delicate work so it costs around $2k-$3k
• right headlight unit replacement $2k you go to the dealer for simple light replacement walk out with $2k headlight unit replacement
• stock brakes didn’t last so changing brakes was $2k
• panoramic roof started make crackle noises while driving
• audi pre-purchased maintenance wasn’t honored because I missed the maintenance date by 2 weeks, that was another $850 worth of money going down the drain for no reason then audi being a shitty company

I barely drove this car maybe 5k miles a year and I took the car to audi maintenance as suggested, so dont come at me like “maintenance” bullshit.
Last 10k miles has been hell, now car is shaking over 60 mph and independent mechanic said it’s not an alignment issue, maybe a gear or a belt issue .
Yes car is 8 years old, rubber gets old, wear and tear happens. But if you dont want to drown under constant bills and horrible service steer clear this brand. Once your car gets to 60k miles and 6-8 year mark it’s pretty much trash

Hi I'm just little girl from Asia come along with the unsuccessful of life and relationship family ya come with broken heart and fuck up feeling mind messy soon will get 🤣 .try to find some space that I can out my feeling can say from the bottom of my feeling 😑 thank you for Reddit finily find spot ,I'm not good at write and my economy English I'm not a written so if any of my annoying or any my mistake apologies first at here🙏🙏 what the target of life?what ur target of life?I never know what is the target of life .make money build house car family?? I think is too simple for me ,all I can do by my self I was an strong girl from young until now , fighting life by my self some times in relationships but most are the same with sad ending , starting in love got a level 1-2-3 or strong relationship 4 until forever ,all are same whoever told me not same at the ending is same ,level 1 very happiness I 1 u 1 sweeties ever never care anything's .Level 2 👉 get slow motion Abit .not really sweet just so so ,ask do or help wat just reply WAIT ... Level 3🔥 start qural some got fighting no more promotion ,ask do favor NNona you won't get any help at all or maybe got but very slow motion until jam ady to get up and help you favor .make each other borling become think of give up on relationship it so hard and tired borling no happiness and sweet romance anymore ,all same like dreaming happiness just awhile .some too love too hurt to hard to leave eveydays must suffered self and damn!! Relationship is the things that can't really talk and share out to anyone so eveydays keep keep coz can't put down the bad relationship I can understand this point that ,even know is suffer but still go ( coz the day Begin until now was not easy and not just break wids that awhile then no smell,eveytings narmal , I can say mostly relationship I heard and happen to me all are selfish maybe have 2% are geltman .but that times also young don't know how to cherish the good one ,times to times pass by are teaching me alot of things and yes I have learned alot too ,learn until when I will have that happiness again ??? Have narmal life and trust...next ep I want come talk about trust ..

Engaged 8 years- with him for 10 years this August. Long story short - it’s not good. Hasnt been for over 7 years tbh. I know ya’ll know what that means basically. We are both 49. Both never been married before our engagement 8 years ago. No kids. I am downright trauma bonded I finally see for the last 8 yrs tho. Sure there’s polite talk, literally that’s all it is. Polite talk until I “freak out and get emotional” by asking if we can have a date night or take a walk together. Because he is sooooo far away from me today and all I’ve been doing is questioning myself, trying to be prettier, trying to cook more, trying to not show hurt feelings when he’s dismissive or worholding….. It’s apparent to anyone in the room and I’ve had feedback from concerned friends over the years. Basically my friends arent fans - haven’t been for years.
Ok sorry- usual daily- he comes home from work. Says hi. I say hi. He shows enormous amounts of love to the dog then goes to his computer to social media surf. I make dinner he eats it and goes to bed. Thats our interaction every day unless I’m working. I’m an semi successful artist. (I pay my own bills, rent and run my own art studio, make enough to survive as I try to grow but def couldn’t do it without a supportive partner. Which he was supportive in our 2 year together. He knew I owned my own townhouse then, and bartended twice a week to make whatever ends my art didn’t meet at the time. I was pretty well known in our little downtown from bartending and having my art in neighboring restaurant in the community. We reconnected through fb messenger- he tagged me in a lot of bartending themed posts- we dated and a year later he sold his condo and moved into my townhouse. I was ready for my life long partner. After a year of co living, he proposed - we made plans to get a larger home together so I sold my townhouse, put 15k downpayment on it because I had the recent liquid cash and he didn’t- he just had the good salaried job to get approved for financing. fast forward to today- I am on the deed not on the mortgage. I pay cash to my “fiancè” every month to contribute this house we own together. After a year of giving him straight cash every month at his request, I asked if he would just give me some or all utilities so my name would be back out in the credit space. And he said no. I asked if we could get a joint account so I could put that monthly cash money in a “house” account where we would both contribute and pay house stuff from that. He said “sure, but not right this second”. That was always his answer to me - “Not right this second”. Basically I went from having my own place, utilities, mortgage, credit, etc and being madly in love with this guy (who I’ve known since highschool but we never dated, just always shared mutual crossovers/crossed paths a lot since 1995) to living in a house that only had my name on the deed. I worried I was a ghost in the credit space. Like the only thing he allowed me to put my name on was the trash pickup service. (He said he’d rather not get trash service and use his jobs trashbin… like wtf?). But said of if I wanted to get trash service then I could pay for that. Ahhh usual me- not a short story and I’m rambling. I’ve also had drinks. Just trying to give context. Ok- We never go out together. He goes to his BF music studio most weekends and stays til 3-4am. We haven’t had sex in over two years. I sleep in the guest room for the same amount of time. (I went there one night after a fight because he said he was tired of being my crutch and I need to contribute more financially and it literally came after him being silent/bad mood for a week and I would ask “Hey, did you have a bad day at work? What’s wrong how can I help?” He doesn’t talk to me about “feelings”. Anytime I ask to sit down and talk about how to fix whatever is wrong his response is ALWAYS and defensive curtness “I don’t want to talk about it”. So we just had one of these outbursts. Where I say “hey, what’s going on. Why are you being so curt with me? Talk to me” and he said “ya know what’s wrong with me? You owe my $1100 because you haven’t paid xyz and it stems back to August. “ I was floored because it’s just not true. But I give him cash and I guess that’s where I fucked up. Sometimes I get paid in cash for my paintings and when I do, I put it aside and give him that cash when it comes due every month. Anyway it blew up to me crying being confused and asking him why he didn’t say anything in August or September why is he bringing it up now. Why is he talking to me like a dog and to please stop and just talk to me about why he’s so damn angry. It ended up with him telling me he’s tired of being my crutch and we haven’t been “good for 5 years” and he wants to sell the house, get his money and live the life that he wants. And I pointed out that all I’ve been doing is trying to fight for us, trying to get us to be together and be number one for one another. And why if he knew all this and yet was still unsatisfied with me why he has kept me around for so long without communicating his displeasure with me. And he said - “Because you won’t leave”. It ended with me saying we can get a mediator or lawyer and figure out the easiest way to sell, split whatever we agree on and move on. Ot all just hit me that I need to let him sell this house and I will figure it out. This all happened Saturday. Jesus this sucks. Anyway- it blew up to where I said I’m done. I felt done. He clapped. I went to my room and have basically been avoiding being in the house when he’s here and just going to my studio until he goes to bed. Thing is he took off work today. Dont know why. So when I got up and saw his car out front, I went to the studio all day and worked late on purpose. Came home at 10:30pm- he usually goes to bed around 9:30 but was still in living room watching tv. I walked in and went to the kitchen and he instantly said “I’m going to bed you can have the tv” and I didn’t respond. He went to bed. I was getting iced tea out of the fridge when after standing there for a min- I smelled gas. I look over to the stove and the knob is turned slightly to the left as if you were about to ignite it. I instinctively turned it back to the off position but then kinda freaked out a bit. Like why does it smell like gas. And why was that knob turned. Literally the gas was seeping ever so slightly out enough for me to smell it after about 30sec drinking my tea. Am I just being paranoid? There is no evidence of cooking - I even checked the trash for leftover or scrapings of food. This took me forever to write. But I just felt I had to document this without freaking out my mom or my friends.

So I’ve posted my stories in here a few times, but for the past about 14 years I’ve been plagued with my next door neighbors getting agressive pits. Their yard is not fenced in but ours is and they just let them out to use the bathroom in the yard and the dog wanders. On many occasions their dog at the time would try to break through our fence to get to my dog. They even tried to poison my dog before. Cops would be called but someone in the house would always throw the dog in a car and leave for hours so they could claim I was lying despite the officers knowing they have a dog. One of the last dogs they had was so violent they actually called police on it which resulted in the cop firing at it, but of course they had a new one the next month. They breed the females they get and then dump them by just letting them out and leaving for the day, the dogs are never chipped so they can’t be blamed for any havoc they cause. The dogs always end up at the SPCA. Well now a new family member moved in and they have one as well. I was surprised by it today when it ran out the yard towards me when I was walking to my car. The owner was outside on the phone and he started screaming at the dog to go back into the yard. I hate this and I hate that I froze. But I see videos and posts in here about protecting yourself so I was afraid if I ran it would definitely make it chase me and if yelled it would like the screaming noise. I was standing there thinking how I can use my car key as a defense mechanism while watching it run while holding pepper spray however I know it wouldn’t stop an attack. So now I have to go buy a 🔫. I’ve been putting it off but I refuse to be a victim. I didn’t want to have to buy one, especially since my neighbors are so crazy they would probably 🔫 me for defending myself. I’m so stressed I feel sick. Why can’t people just get normal dogs and not blood sport animals, my family shouldn’t have to live like this but I refuse for any of us to be a victim. I apologize for the rant I’m just so stressed about this and it’s one of the only place I can go to with this.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/WholePomegranate5342
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
My Parents Tried to Screw Over My Dying StepMother, Blew Up All Of Our Lives Instead
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, imminent death, terminal illness, financial exploitation, physical assault, emotional abuse and manipulation
Original Post: February 13, 2024
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My (17F) stepmother "Jane" is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She and my father got married when I was 4, and she's been a rock in my life ever since. My mother was always my primary caregiver, but up until that point her relationship with my father was acrimonious and I basically never saw him. Jane was the reason they developed a stable co-parenting relationship, she encouraged everyone having a good relationship with each other and was always there to support me and my mom when things got rough.
Jane was always a really hard worker. When she met my dad, he was living out of a hotel and my mother was doing everything in her power to keep me away from him because she was petty and angry that their relationship didn't work out. Meanwhile Jane had a great job, a nice house, helped my dad get back on his feet, negotiated a visitation schedule with my mom (who hated her for a long time), and made sure my dad sent us money every week because neither one of them could afford an attorney to negotiate child support payments. Jane had no reason to do any of these things but as I got older she made it clear that she loved me as much as she loved my (half) brothers who were born a few years later. I even have my own room in her house because at the time we lived with my grandparents / various boyfriends of my mom and Jane felt that I needed a more stable environment than that. She's like the opposite of the evil stepmom.
When I was 15, Jane won a big lawsuit against an airline company and got awarded upwards of a million dollars. She used the money to build sizable trust funds for me and my brothers so that we would be taken care of later in life. Despite having a lot more money she still wanted to live a fairly modest life, so she paid off the house she has and has been living there ever since with my dad. Sure she bought a new car and they went on a few nice vacations but she didn't blow all her money on stupid things, which I respected.
About a year ago, things started getting really weird. Whenever I saw Jane she seemed to look sicker and sicker, but no one would tell me or my brothers why even though I know they knew. All we knew is that she was at the hospital a lot. Around the same time, my mom has been coming around my dad a lot more and acting really strange, basically like she was trying to romance him. Whenever Jane was in the hospital my mother would insist on spending the night at their house and playing mom to my brothers, which was so weird to me because she never liked them or Jane. She'd be the perfect little housewife and my mom is NOT like that at all. It was super fake.
Worst of all, my dad started falling for it. I'm not stupid - I'm pretty sure they were sleeping together. I tried to shield my brothers from it but they're not dumb either. I tried talking to my dad too but he insisted it wasn't like that.
Then a few weeks ago, my mom started talking about all the places she'd like to visit, how she wanted a new car and was looking to invest... which is weird because my mom has been a bartender her whole life and has lived paycheck to paycheck since before I was born. She was acting like she was about to get a lot of money, which started to make me really suspicious. Between Jane being sick and my mom acting all nouveau riche, I had a lot of questions.
Finally I decided to visit Jane in the hospital and ask her about my trust fund. I found out that if anything happened to her, that my dad would inherit all the money including full control of the trusts for me and my brothers. She asked me why I was so interested in the trust fund so I told her what's going on with my parents and how my mom has been acting with my dad. I didn't want to but after everything she did for me, she deserved the truth. It really hurt me to break her heart like that, especially once I found out that she was basically in hospice at this point because of irreversible kidney failure. She's only got a few more months. We both cried so much.
Then, two days ago everything came to a head. My mom stormed in furious and started arguing with my dad. Apparently Jane met with her lawyer and changed the trust so that my dad would get nothing and all of the trusts would be controlled by my step-aunt. She demanded to know how Jane found out about their relationship and I came out and told them that I told Jane everything. I told them that if they wanted to play stupid games they would win stupid prizes and that I wasn't going to let them screw Jane over after all the help she gave my family when she didn't have to.
My mom slapped me and my dad just looked so defeated. Then my mom told my dad that she didn't really love him, that she was just pretending to so he would marry her and she could get all of the money. The worst part about it is that my brothers witnessed the whole thing and now on top of their mom dying they have to deal with a cheating dad and his vindictive ex. Our whole family is in ruins and I feel like it's my fault even though I know it's not.
Yesterday I visited Jane again and told her about the fallout. She apologized and said that she had to dissolve my trust fund to make sure my mother didn't get a hold of the money, but that as "her oldest" I will inherit the house/property after she is gone and that's worth more than the other two trust funds combined. My father won't get anything because she's going to divorce him before she dies, and honestly I'm happy for her. She made me promise to take care of my brothers and told me that once I turn 18 this summer I can kick my dad out of the house if I want to. And I FULLY plan to do that btw.
I haven't talked to my dad since and I can't even look at my mom. I can't believe they would conspire to do this to Jane after all this time. Just proof that they deserve each other and I'm embarrassed that they're my parents. Once I turn 18 I'm going to cut my dad out as much as I can and cut my mom out completely. I hope she rots. Meanwhile I'm going to try and be at the hospital as much as I can until Jane passes away.
Anyways. I just needed to vent. I'm really messed up about the whole thing and I feel super betrayed, although I can't even begin to imagine how Jane feels. I'm gonna be so f-ed up when she dies. I can't even think about that right now. But at least she's not surrounded by people who just want to bring her down.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Some people are asking a lot of the same stuff so I'll just clarify here --
My brothers - My plan is to use some of the estate money fight for guardianship for my twin brothers so that they can live in the house while I kick my dad out. If I can't get guardianship then I will have to let my dad stay in the house. However once I turn 18 I will technically be an adult so even if my dad leaves I'm still legally able to be responsible for them. The only thing I won't be able to do is stop him from taking them if he leaves. But they will be 18 in six years so even if they do have to leave they will always be able to come back whenever they want. In a perfect world my dad would just leave and let my brothers stay with me which I'm sure my bio-mom would be very supportive of because right now she hates all of us and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
The trust - from what I understand, my brothers will inherit 1/3 each of the estate and the remaining 1/3 will be used to keep the house running until they turn 18. After that it will be up to me if I want to keep the house or sell it. At that point my brothers will still have money left in the trust so they can branch out or do whatever they want, otherwise I will not sell the house and just pass it on to them or keep it and maintain it myself and they can just stay with me as long as they need to.
(Edit to the edit) So I just spoke to Jane and she told me that the reason she dissolved the trust is because originally it was going to be split 3x between us kids and my dad would inherit the house. She dissolved my 3rd and switched it over to make it to take care of the house maintenance, and instead put the house in my name so my dad wouldn't get it. Plus by doing that at least financially I would be getting a much bigger share (the house is worth about 1.5x the amount of my brothers trusts) I just wouldn't be able to do anything with it until my brothers are 18, which I'm totally cool with. Sorry if I don't have a better answer but I'm just trying to translate what she told me.
My parents - The big fight happened on Sunday and I haven't spoken to either of my parents since, I think they're both at my mom's place right now but that's fine with us because we're all still mad at them so they can stay gone for all we care. I know technically that's not legal to just leave us alone but I've been taking care of my brothers for over a year I can handle a few days while he gets his shit together. Screw both of them.
Hope that clears some stuff up.
TLDR; My bio parents tried to screw my terminally ill stepmother out of trust fund money, but she caught on and now no one on my side of the family gets anything.
Additional Information from OOP on her parents, stepmom’s health, trust funds

OOP: (Why isn't Jane on dialysis) - I don't remember the exact details but Jane has a genetic condition where she gets cysts on her kidney. She already had a transplant a few years ago but now she developed problems with her arteries or something in her legs so she doesn't qualify for dialysis. She could get another transplant but she doesn't want to because the last time was so traumatic (rejections, etc). So she decided to just let herself go onto maintenance medications to prolong her death until she gets her affairs in order. She has a few other health problems that make the typical treatments really dangerous and according to her she'd rather die surrounded by loved ones than on an operating table.
(Dissolving the trust fund) - Jane told me she didn't technically have to do it, but she didn't trust my bio parents not to do something shady and get a hold of the money before I turn 18. Even if my aunt controlled the fund my dad would still be able to collect if something happened to Jane before I turn 18. Her lawyer suggested it's better safe than sorry and I agreed that it was the best option. I'm not an expert tho I don't know the details.
(How my mom knew) - Like I said before I'm pretty sure Jane told my dad, who then told my mom and that's how the argument started. I can't think of any other way and I didn't really care enough to ask.
(Jane's thoughts on my mom) - she didn't know my mom was doing all of that. My mom has her own place and would only come over whenever Jane was in the hospital for a few days at a time. I've been living with my dad for a little over a year so he probably told Jane that my mom was there to spend time with me, if he told her at all. Besides she didn't "move in" until a few months ago, which I guess is when they started hatching their plan. Jane never outright banned my mom from visiting so there really wasn't anything she could do.
Hope that helps.
Edit for the last part: The remainder of the money belonging to the estate that hasn't been put into trusts for my brothers is going to be used to maintain the house (utilities, taxes, etc) until my brothers are 18 and then I can either choose to sell the house or keep it and maintain it myself if I'm able to. I plan to go to school in that time and get a better job with the goal of keeping the house, but if I can't then I have the option to sell it. Not that I will but that's how it was explained to me.

OOP on her stepmom and their relationship, provides thoughts on her bio mom

OOP: Honestly it's because she's more of a "real" mom than my actual mom.
My bio mom is kind of ambiguous about my existence but Jane was always extra involved, sending me to sports teams and paying for dance classes and just showing interest in my hobbies as I got older. Plus as the only girl I think we bonded on a level she can't with my brothers so she always made sure to let me know I was on equal terms with them. When I was younger we would watch movies and have girl time where it was just us 1:1 and those are some of my best memories with her.
Jane is also really mature and someone I wanna be like when I get older whereas it feels like my mom is a teenager in an adult's body. She was constantly picking fights with my dad about dumb things and Jane was always there to smooth things over and keep my best interest at heart over her own feelings. I know my mom made Jane's life really difficult for a long time but Jane never complained or said anything to me about it whereas my mom CONSTANTLY complained about Jane. As I got older I just always felt more at peace when I was around Jane than when I was around my mom.
If you want your step kids to love you just be there for them and treat them like your own. Ignore whatever drama you have with your husbands ex and just love your kids. Trust me if you really care about them they will know.

Relevant Comments
mattdvs1979: My only advice is make sure you work with a lawyer once she passes so you get your inheritance and your parents can’t try to intervene, and then you keep your promise to use that money for you and your brothers’ welfare.

OOP: Oh absolutely, Jane already gave me the lawyer's info and between him and my step-aunt I'm sure I will be able to do what I need to do for them. I don't even care about the money, most people don't have trust funds and turn out just fine. I'm actually more glad that she gave me the house because you can be damn sure it's going to be a safe space for my brothers whether I end up getting custody of them or not. My brothers are basically Jane's legacy so my goal is to give them the life and guidance that I got from her, and that they won't get because she'll be gone.

OOP on the relationship between her father and her stepmom before they got exposed

OOP: Honestly it hurts a lot because before Jane got sick they seemed to have the perfect relationship. Until my birthgiver (I like that) came in and fucked everything up with her toxic personality. Honestly in a perfect world my mom will end up broke and alone and in a shitty nursing home with bed sores. And when she calls me and begs me for a relationship (because she needs the attention) it'll feel so good to hang up on her over and over again.

OOP on Jane (stepmom)’s health and if Jane is mentally okay on the whole situation

OOP: I think so. Apparently it's a genetic disease so she always knew she was going to get sick she just didn't know when so mentally I think she was prepared for it. I just hope that she can find peace knowing the truth and knowing that I'll be there to make sure her sons don't grow up all fucked up.

OOP on her brothers getting therapy to deal with their mom/step-mom’s health and her imminent death

OOP: Yeah. I've already sat them down and talked to them about what's going on, they seem to understand but they're understandably really sad about the whole thing. I told them that when they go to school they should ask about a grief counselor and I'm trying to get their health insurance info from Jane so I can find them a therapist for kids. As much as all of this sucks I think it's brought the three of us a lot closer together.
Thanks a lot. I really love my brothers and I know it's my job to take care of them properly now that they won't have a mom around. Jane did so much to raise me and my brothers won't have the opportunity so it's only right that I help them.
Since finding all of this out my plan has always been to have my brothers live with me, I'm already in charge of taking care of them and the house for the most part the only thing my dad does is help pay the bills. Unfortunately I won't be able to kick my dad out as long as he's their legal guardian which is why I'm trying to find some other solution to that. But if/when that gets resolved he can live under a bridge for all I care.

 
Update: May 8, 2024 (3 months later)
Please check my profile for my previous post. :)
Hi guys it’s me again, a lot of you asked me for an update on my situation with Jane and my family so I’ve come back with a few things that have happened since I initially posted. I will try to organize this in a way that addresses the major points of last time.
Jane is still alive and doing surprisingly well considering the circumstances. She’s always been a fighter and although her disease has been progressing she’s keeping a positive attitude with everything that is going on. She says she’s grateful that she was able to see everyone’s true colors before she passed so she could go into the next life knowing the truth. We have become so unbelievably close in the past few months and it’s getting harder and harder to know that she’s getting close to the end. She doesn’t ever talk about it though and I know it’s because she doesn’t want to hurt me but we both know the situation so we’re just making the best of our time. I'm also not being completely transparent about all of the drama at home but tbh I don't think she needs to hear all of that.
We did end up having that surprise celebration of life that I planned, a lot more people showed up than I thought but they all got an airbnb near the hospital where Jane is and we were able to take her out and spend some time at the lake near the facility. It was super lowkey which I know Jane preferred and I was even able to get her old college friend to come after I found him on Linkedin lol. We had food and there was music and we played games and it was overall a really great time, except Jane started crying at the end but she promised me it was just because she was grateful.
My brothers are also doing okay, my aunt (Jane's sister) is currently paying for them to go to therapy and they've become a lot more open about talking about the situation. They just turned 13 but a lot of the time it feels like I'm talking to actual adults lol. They've become really independent lately (in a good way) and aside from me driving them places I don't really have to do much for them anymore. Their grades aren't super great but they're not failing and considering the circumstances it could be a lot worse. They still hang out with friends and I'm keeping an eye out for like depression symptoms and stuff.
The situation with my mom is as funny as it is embarrassing tbh. She spent a few weeks ignoring us and then she tried to crawl back into my life basically begging me to let her move in because her lease is about to expire and she has nowhere to go. That convo went about as well as you'd think and she ended up calling me an ungrateful b**** and that I couldn't just ignore her because she's my mom. I told her to get out of the house before I call the cops and to go back to my dad (who at that point was only coming home every few days to "check on us" and grab some clothes.)
After that she tried coming by a few times and when I wouldn't open the door she would lose her mind and start yelling through the neighborhood. After three instances of this I finally called the cops but because I'm 17 they told me there's a possibility that I would have to go home with her since technically I'm a minor and need to be with the custodial parent. I told them no way because I was the only one watching my brothers atm. That led to a whole thing where after a few hours my dad basically showed up and I was allowed to stay there because there was finally an adult present and I'd basically lived there for over a year.
After that the cops firmly told my mom that if she keeps showing up and causing drama (my neighbors confirmed that she'd been there a few times screaming) that they would arrest her for trespassing since technically it was Jane's house and not hers. She left and hasn't tried coming to the house anymore but for a while she would call me constantly telling me I owed her and all kinds of stuff. She's now blocked on everything and anything she needs to say to me gets filtered through my dad.
As for my dad... well, since he's basically required to be here for another 2 months until I turn 18 we've basically just avoided each other. It's not too bad though because I've been heavily relying on guilting him for everything to get my way. For example he was going to contest the divorce but I threatened to kick him out when I turn 18 if he does that so he just signed all the paperwork for a "quickie divorce" and is basically doing whatever Jane tells him to do. I don't openly disrespect him or anything (he's still my dad) but I've made it clear that I have no intentions on doing anything he says ever again and he doesn't fight me on it. Most of the time he's just in his room and sometimes he'll go back to my mom's but only for a day or two before they argue and she kicks him out again lol. I haven't decided whether or not I'll kick him out yet and we haven't talked about it either so I'm kind of playing it by ear.
As for me, I'm handling everything as good as I can. I found a new job where I make a little more money so I've been focusing on saving as much as I can and just being there for my brothers. Between working and school and visiting Jane I've been so busy I haven't really had time to really stop and think about everything, but I know it'll come. One of my friends has really stepped up and helped me manage everything and I'm super grateful to him for being there for me and my brothers so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways I wish I had something more exciting to share but that's what's happened since my last post :) Thanks again for all the support on my last post.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the possibility of her stepmom being poisoned from her parents to get Jane’s money

OOP: Hi there,
A few people have mentioned this and yes we are absolutely certain she is not being poisoned, it’s a genetic disease causing her kidney failure and we have known about it for a long time but she shielded us from the worst of it hence why her “sudden” decline in health was such a shock to us, we thought she had more time.
My brothers have also been screened for this disease and thankfully neither of them have it.
Edit to add: I’m turning 18 in a few weeks so I don’t need to get emancipated and my dad has already agreed that my brothers will stay in the house with me because they have nowhere else to go.

OOP on Jane making video clips for her brothers

OOP: Yes actually a few people suggested this on my last post and we have been doing this for a few weeks now. Jane has a little digital recorder that she’s been putting her thoughts down on and she’s also written a few letters to us for major milestones. My brothers do not know about this as we want to surprise them but that said they have been coming to the hospital more now that they’re in therapy and able to deal with it. I know they do not want to have any regrets even though it’s a difficult situation.

OOP on her father after being exposed and her bio mom trying to manipulate him

OOP: I do think he’s remorseful, he hasn’t said it but the way he’s acting is telling me that, he’s being really passive when normally he gets a little belligerent if he really feels like he didn’t do anything wrong. Also I know I have every reason to kick him out but he’s still my dad even tho what he did to Jane was terrible. He’s just kind of a weak minded person and my bio mom really manipulated the crap out of him and continues to manipulate him but I can tell he’s getting tired of her BS because he’s spending less time with her.
He didn’t know she was showing up at the house and when he found out he was super pissed at her, they’ve been fighting nonstop and I can tell he’s not as much under her spell anymore because he’s at home more but who knows.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/xndjskos
I am asking you on a date
Originally posted to USMC
Previous BoRU
Original Post Apr 18, 2023
Hi I'm [20F] long story short my boss hates me and wouldnt stfu bragging about her bf who's like 20 years younger than her and in the ARMY. Wanted to make her shut up so my dumbass said "yea mine is a marine". She insists I bring my "bf" to her birthday party. Guys pls help
Edit: god damn thanks for the award! Feels like I won an Oscar or something..
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Otherwise-Bad-7666

Just 1? We travel in packs. When and where is the party?

OOP replied

next weekend, oceanside. also, do you stay sane when you travel in packs too?

[deleted]

No, no we definitely do not.

Httplickmyballllss

Okay I’ll do it, but I’m gonna be drunk

OOP replied

Don't get me fired.

Cogadh87

Congrats on your wedding in 3-6 weeks.

OOP replied

This is ridiculous

TOP COMMENTS FROM THE USMC
ObviouslyNotALizard

I need one motivator to accompany the nice lady to the event. Hit on the boss, top her GOARMY boyfriend then throw up in her car

Apache1One

Fuck it, I'm in. I mean, I've been out for 10 years, and don't exactly look like a Marine anymore, but hey, once a Marine, always a Marine, amirite.
DM the address and I'm there.
Edit: if you're ugly, I'm leaving.

Dry-Tangerine-4874

Do you mind being picked up in a Dodge ChargeChallenger?

Curious_Location4522

Only if it’s 40% apr financing agreement

Update - 6 months later Oct 28, 2023
Hey there, it's been a long time lol. The last time I posted on here was when I asked for a guy to accompany me with my boss. I'm gonna delete reddit soon but thought I'd update some of you guys since you've asked for one. I was getting hopeless since some people in my dms were asking to fuck after the night and some weren't at the same place as I was. I was about to text my boss and tell her that I wouldn't go until I got a notice from reddit and decided to give it one last shot and THANK GOD I did lol. I ended up taking him there and we had such a great time. It was kinda awkward at first and we had to come up with the same stories but it was so worth it. We've been together since then and he told his family and friends about me. Shoutout to the folks who encouraged me to give it a shot.

NEW UPDATE

Update!! AGAIN Jan 5, 2024
Yall remember me from the boss thing? Some of yall asked for me to post this when I told yall so here's the last update
-hopefully-
He proposed! I KNOW!!
I said yes -obviously- but this is crazy how everything ended up the way it is, we've been dealing with a bunch of issues through the relationship but I'm engaged to that mf rn ♡
I'll try to find pics of that boss party thing we first met at too I think this whole things so wholesome lol
Anyways thank you everyone for encouraging me to give it a shot! And I'm sorry I stopped responding to some of you guys, hoping that there are no hard feelings. The big day is somewhere in September btw
Love yall.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
RiflemanLax

A Marine proposing after knowing someone for a ridiculously short amount of time?
Totally unheard of…

Unlucky_Reading_1671

How else are you going to get out of the barracks?

~
Unlucky_Reading_1671

Tale as old as time. Tune as old as song. He'll get drunk and find some strange. You'll fuck his SSgt out of rage. Learning you were wrong.

OOP

Whyd you gotta be such a bummer😂

~
psybro3r0

Thats one way to one up your boss. Being married to a Marine comes with it's own special set of challenges but also rewards (I'm married 33 years now so I'm gonna assume there's something in it for the wife, cuz she ain't left yet.)

~
Outk4st16

Engaged in less than a year? A true Marine Corps love tale.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

“ Your husband mirrors how you cherish yourself, what you already give to yourself.
It’s so important that you tell him how you want him to cherish yourself for you.
When you’re angry, what do you want him to understand ? what do you want him to do for you ?
What do you feel as you’re cherished by your husband ?
What do you feel like your joy and your gladness and your happiness ?
Your husband won’t know what helps you and what makes you happy more and what liberates you more while you don’t tell him your feelings honestly.
To understand you yourself is necessary for telling him your feelings.
You need to understand why you’re angry for telling him your feelings.
Have you built trust relationship to one another for telling him your feelings that you’ve written below on reddit, even it's a little comment for you ? "
I’m sharing my messages with you through reading this message below.
" I (F ●) am almost at my breaking point after my husband (M ●) walked in a room and asked "what have you been doing for the last 20 minutes” while I’ve been working my ass off. How do I convey the severity of my feelings? " from relationship_advice on reddit ( I don’t write the age for protecting your personal information. )
Me (●f) and my husband (●m)have been married for two years and just had our first child, who is 11 weeks old. With a newborn, there’s a LOT more work to be done around the house than before, and I’ve had a difficult recovery from birth. We've gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, because he's at work all day and doesn't get to spend time with her.
Typically, while he does that, I start the dishes and clean up. Tonight, I decided to throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it rather than starting the dishes. I consciously made this decision because my husband actually knows how to do the dishes, as opposed to a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house that he’s largely blind to.
Husband came out after spending about 15 minutes feeding the baby and asked me "what I had been doing for the past 20 minutes" once he saw the dishes hadn't been done. I flipped out, because I'm exhausted and burnt out. He insists he asked because he "was just curious" and doesn't understand why I'm so angry. Am I overreacting? To me, the question does not seem innocent and makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate everything that I do. It also makes me feel like I don’t have the space or “allowance” to relax if, god forbid, I needed a break, even though I WAS cleaning.
He has asked me this question many times before, to the point where l've started making mental lists of things I accomplish in case he asks. Also, I am not a stay at home mom, i have a high-intensity and demanding job and am returning from maternity leave in a few weeks.
I am almost at a breaking point. My husband used to treat me like a princess, especially when I was pregnant. Now, I feel like he has no appreciation for me or how hard this has been. How do I convey the severity of this without it seeming like I’m making a huge deal out of a little comment?
TLDR: my husband asked me “what I’ve been doing for the past 20 minutes” after I had been working my ass off and it’s almost got me to my breaking point.
『 Me (●f) and my husband (●m)have been married for two years and just had our first child, who is 11 weeks old. With a newborn, there’s a LOT more work to be done around the house than before, and I’ve had a difficult recovery from birth. We've gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, because he's at work all day and doesn't get to spend time with her. 』
【My view】; I stay considerate of your feelings that you’ve had a difficult recovery from birth, I understand there’s a lot more work to be done the house than before. You’ve done your best for your child and him and you. You’ve gotten into a routine at night where he feeds the baby her last bottle and puts her to bed, what he helps you is good even it’s a little for you, although his help won’t be enough for you who have too much and reach your breaking point.
『 Typically, while he does that, I start the dishes and clean up. Tonight, I decided to throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it rather than starting the dishes. I consciously made this decision because my husband actually knows how to do the dishes, as opposed to a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house that he’s largely blind to. 』
【My view】; It’s so important that you tell him what your mind is too busy focusing on that you throw in a load of laundry, clean up our car, pick up the living room, and hand-scrub a piece of clothing that had formula spilled all over it, because he won’t know what your mind is too busy focusing on that.
Did you tell him what you want him to do the dishes ?
Did you ask him for his help to do the dishes ?
He won’t know what you want him to help until you ask him for help to do the dishes ?
You need to tell him a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house even he’s largely blind to, it’s so important to make your effort for keeping telling him until he understands what you need his help.
He won’t know that, so he will ask you, “ What have you been doing for the last 20 minutes ? “
He won’t know what to do even he wants to help you.
A man is different from a woman.
In more deep words, a man’s brain is different from a woman’s brain.
A woman will understand your feelings and a lot of the miscellaneous things that need to be done around the house even you don’t say that, but a man can’t do it, he won’t be able to understand what you guess he will understand even you don’t say to him, he won’t be able to understand what you guess he will notice what to do through your actions even you don’t ask him for help.
Your husband, how to take the things for him differ from you, how to take the things for you. You will be able to decrease feeling your anger if you notice a difference between you and him.
To notice what he doesn’t know until you ask him for help and you tell him your feelings will liberate you a little from your anger.
『 Husband came out after spending about 15 minutes feeding the baby and asked me "what I had been doing for the past 20 minutes" once he saw the dishes hadn't been done. I flipped out, because I'm exhausted and burnt out. He insists he asked because he "was just curious" and doesn't understand why I'm so angry. Am I overreacting? To me, the question does not seem innocent and makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate everything that I do. It also makes me feel like I don’t have the space or “allowance” to relax if, god forbid, I needed a break, even though I WAS cleaning. 』
【My view】; Did you want him to do the dishes ?
Did you tell him what you want him to do the dishes and did you ask him for help to do the dishes ?
He won’t know what to do until you ask him for help to do the dishes, so he will ask you such question. A man, he can’t notice what to do while you don’t tell him what you want him to do.
Do you understand why you’re angry ?
He won't understand why you're angry while you don't understand what makes you feel anger and you don't tell him that.
Do you share what makes you feel anger more deeply with him ?
What you’re angry will mean you do too much at your breaking point, you believe you have to do too much and you try to do what you can do and what you have to do until you’re exhausted and burnt out. He won’t know what you do until you’re exhausted and burnt out, so he won’t understand why you’re angry.
Do you ask him for help regarding what you can do, too ?
Do you ask him for help regarding what you have to do ?
His question won’t have what saddens you, because a man and he consider what they don’t do as trust until you ask them for help and you tell him what you want him to do. Even you’re angry through his question, his question will hide his real feelings which he wants to help you but he doesn’t know what to do, he won’t notice that even him.
The actions of a man have love, but the words of a man don’t have the meaning deeply, a man doesn’t say a real feeling more than women think, a man doesn’t notice a real feeling even a man.
What you feel through his question mirrors yourself, what you already believe, what you already give to yourself.
You have already your answer within your inside through his question.
Regarding “ to you, the question does not seem innocent and makes you feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything that you do. “, what you feel mirrors yourself. What makes you feel like he doesn’t appreciate everything that you do mirrors that you don’t appreciate everything that you do.
While you feel what you want him to appreciate everything that you do, you need to give you that and to tell him that.
It’s so important that you appreciate everything that you do, you appreciate yourself who do everything. That means the relationship between you and yourself, mirrors what you give to yourself.
Your evaluation you already give to yourself will link with your work which you have a high-intensity and demanding job.
In my counselling, you will get what you give to yourself more deeply for appreciating you unconditionally.
『 He has asked me this question many times before, to the point where l've started making mental lists of things I accomplish in case he asks. Also, I am not a stay at home mom, i have a high-intensity and demanding job and am returning from maternity leave in a few weeks. 』
【My view】; Do you share mental lists of things you accomplish with him ?
What is mental lists of things you accomplish with him ?
You’re almost at your breaking point, so you need to ask him more for help and you need to choose your actions you’re not exhausted, it’s so important that you don’t try to do too much and you trust him and you take his help for you.
What you do too much until you’re exhausted and burnt out, restrains what he wants to help you and you take his help, makes you feel anger.
You need to face what you already give to your inside through his question, to let go that.
『 I am almost at a breaking point. My husband used to treat me like a princess, especially when I was pregnant. Now, I feel like he has no appreciation for me or how hard this has been. How do I convey the severity of this without it seeming like I’m making a huge deal out of a little comment? 』
【My view】; Your husband mirrors how you cherish yourself, you need to tell him how you cherish yourself until he understands that.
What you feel like he has no appreciation for you mirrors you have no appreciation for you, what you don’t appreciate yourself.
What you don’t appreciate yourself makes you feel like he has no appreciation for you.
You feel what you already give to yourself through his actions and his questions.
You need to give you what you want him to do.
While you feel he doesn’t understand how hard this has been, it’s so important that you tell him how hard this has been for you until he understands it.
Although you write how you convey the severity of your feelings without it seeming like you’re making a huge deal out of a little comment, what do you think about your relationship you hesitate how to convey even a little comment ?
I understand that you guess how he also thinks you while you're worry about his evaluation and how he thinks you through conveying your feelings with a little comment.
While you’re worry about that, how have you built trust between you and your husband ?
I understand you’re worry how he takes through conveying your feelings with a little comment, do you fear to hurt him and to be disliked by him or to be unloved by him through conveying your feelings with a little comment ?
A man is different from a woman.
As the nature of a man, he doesn’t think how he thinks you.
He’s worry about helping what makes you happy, so you don’t have to be worried how he thinks you through conveying your feelings with a little comment.
It’s so important that you keep sharing your feelings and a little comment more honestly with him for you until he understands that and you take his help.
Even you feel like you’re making a huge deal out of a little comment, you’re almost at your breaking point, so it’s not a little comment for you, what he has his views you fear as the same with you is not necessary.
Even a little comment, telling him your feelings and a little comment will grow trust between you and him more deeply strongly..
About some points for conveying your feelings

• Why you’re angry, you need to notice your real feelings you feel anger.
• What you want him to help.
• What he does as you’re not exhausted.
• What you want him to do as you’re not exhausted.
• What you feel like you’re cherished by him.
• How do you want him to cherish yourself ?,
• You notice what you’re glad and you’re happy, what you’re at your breaking point.

In my counselling,

• You will find the root of your anger more deeply.
• You will get more deeply that you tell him what you want him to help.
• You will get what you take his help happily.
• You will get what you build trust between you and him without fearing his evaluations how he thinks you even when you tell him a little comment.
• To find what you learn through your husband will liberate you from his evaluations and your evaluations, you will find what you learn.
• You will get what you give to yourself more deeply for appreciating you unconditionally.

Guidance for getting my counselling
Regarding my counselling
【Pricing plans of E-mail counselling】

• 8,000 Yen per 2 times；You can get my counselling twice about your sufferings and your worries.

1. You talk to me about your sufferings and your worries.
2. I answer about that, I will share with you if I give you your work.
3. You question me more if you have another questions. You talk to me through experiencing your work I give.
4. I answer about that.

• 20,000 Yen per 1 month

1. There’s no limit to the number of times you can get my counselling for a month.

※ It won’t be easy to change your habit of your thoughts and your actions so far for you through once counselling, it will take time to get a new habit and keep to get it for you, so it will take time more than two plans for getting a new habit and keeping to get it in your case.
※ Price, given in Japanese yen, differs depending on exchange rate against your local currency. Make some adjustment, as a result, money you send will be a little over your calculation. Fee for sending money is yours.
I recommend you to use “ Wise ” regarding Procedure of remittance ( sending money ) because fee for sending money is lower rather than others.
For procedure of remittance ( sending money ), you need my mail address and the registration of Wise. Registration fee for Wise has no charge. I’ll send my mail address to your mail address.
After my confirmation of your payment, you can get my counselling of E-mail.
by Orga Mitsuki

So my father used to own a cabin. In fact he used to own a lot of different properties. Which I suppose is just a roundabout way of saying that we grew up with money. Where things get a bit complicated is how he actually made that money.
The line that he constantly fed us was that he was an accountant running his own firm in an office in the city. Long hours, lots of business trips. We never saw him much. And whenever we did, he always seemed tired, his eyes perpetually bloodshot, as if he were always trying to force them to stay open.
He was sent off to prison right after I’d finished my first year of college.
The sentence? Fifteen years, for washing hundreds of millions of dollars for numerous cartels. Two weeks after he’d been booked, my mother committed suicide. As it turns out, she’d been helping him out through the entire thing and was facing some time herself. I guess she didn’t want to deal with all that and took the drastic way out.
A few months later, the government had seized pretty much all his property.
All of it, except for that cabin in the woods.
It took a long time for me to feel normal again. But eventually I managed it. Went back to school and graduated with a good enough GPA which allowed me to snag some shitty office job a few months later. But it was enough to pay the bills.
Fast forward about another year and I’ve basically scrubbed that entire sequence of events out of my brain. It took a little bit of therapy, a lot of psychedelics, but I finally did it, to the point where I was comfortable enough to go back to that cabin, the one place where I’d see my father for more than a few weeks at a time during our summer trips.
I decided to take along three of my friends from Uni - Jack, Pedro, Randy.
We drove down there at the beginning of May. The road leading to the cabin hadn’t been maintained at all and as a result, it had become borderline undrivable. I decided to save my vehicle the stress and parked in a nearby lot, leaving us about a one-and-a-half-mile trek through the woods, which really wasn’t so bad.
Our time in the cabin was pretty much spent getting drunk and stoned, and by the third night we had completely run out of food.
We decided to take the thirty minute walk over to the nearest rest stop, where I knew that there was a 24/7 diner. So we go there, eat our meals, and on the way back we notice a burning smell in the woods, as if there was a bonfire raging about nearby.
Of course that was a bit strange given that it was around 2AM. But we didn’t think too much of it at the time and we kept walking.
It was only when the smell continued to grow stronger as we got closer to the cabin that we understood something was very wrong. Soon it had become suffocating, and we could see the night sky tinged with orange in the near distance.
I felt my heart drop into my stomach and immediately I was sprinting, my worst fear realized as I reached the clearing where the cabin was located.
Completely up in flames, plumes of dark smoke blending in with the night.
It was a mix of different emotions that hit me all at once, the combination of them creating a sense of dread so deep I hadn’t thought it possible.
After reeling myself in, I called 9-1-1, with the operator telling me that the fire department would be on their way but wouldn’t be able to reach us for at least thirty minutes. The four of us walked away from the cabin in silence, getting far enough so that the smoke was no longer scratching at our throats.
Around ten minutes later, we noticed that the orange tinge in the sky had suddenly disappeared. And I mean suddenly. Like, gone in a single blink. I thought I might’ve been hallucinating, but it was clear from their expressions that my friends were seeing something similar.
Cautiously, we started making our way back towards the cabin, noticing that the smoke was no longer heavy in the air, having cleared up considerably. Once we reached the clearing, it had disappeared altogether.
I looked ahead, my brain working overtime to comprehend the sight before me. The cabin was no longer on fire. Burnt to a crisp, sure. But the raging, overwhelming flames that had been consuming it just minutes prior had somehow completely fizzled out.
The four of us looked between each other, as if to confirm we were all still seeing the same thing.
Using the flashlight on my phone to survey the damage, I found pretty much what I’d expected. Complete destruction. Absolutely zero hope of recovering anything.
I started taking some deep breaths, trying to calm myself down when I heard Pedro yelling out from the other side.
“Guys… where the fuck did this thing come from?”
We all walked over to him. Nestled in the debris was the corpse of… something. A monstrosity.
It was about the size of a bear, with the sections of its body that weren’t burnt showing pale, clammy skin with deep cuts etched throughout it, in what looked to be some kind of crude pattern. Its head had been smashed in, leaving nothing but an abnormally wide bottom jaw which was still baring long, black teeth. It had an uncountable number of long, thick arms that it was using to hold something that resembled a human infant, one that appeared to be completely unscathed, devoid of any burn marks. The longer I stared at it, the more that I was convinced I could see it breathing.
It was a bizarre enough sight to put us into a near-trance. What eventually snapped us out of it was the chanting.
It was barely noticeable at first, slowly escalating in pitch until it was clear that there were several human voices shouting in unison. Their tones were animalistic, their words strung together with just the bare beginnings of a rhythm. It sounded like they were speaking English, though I could hardly make out anything they were saying.
The strangest part though, was how quickly it was getting closer to us. Definitely not a walking pace. It was more like a sprint.
The four of us shared a quick glance between each other and immediately there was an understanding.
We ran like bats out of hell, tripping over branches, our own feet.
But eventually we reached my car, all of us scrambling to pile into it. As I was fumbling for my keys, the chanting had become deafening, to a point that hardly made sense. It sounded as if there were speakers lined up in a circle around us, all blasting that horrible noise.
And the second that I had put the keys into the ignition, things went silent. I found myself holding my breath as I looked up, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness until what I was seeing was unmistakable. Several figures standing completely still at the edge of the woods. All human-shaped but far too large to be people.
All the air being held in my lungs flooded out with one big exhale and I slammed the vehicle into drive and took a sharp turn before speeding the hell out of there, refusing to look in the rearview until we had made it into the highway.
I drove until I had reached the rest stop, which was now hosting an absurd number of police cars. I parked, got out, and approached one of the cops, asking if they were here because of the fire.
The cop shook his head. “Fire? No. Has there been a fire?”
I explained the situation with the cabin to him, deciding to leave out the creature and the chanting for the time being.
The cop nodded slowly, his expression remaining largely the same throughout.
“Alright,” he said. “We’ll look into it. And then give you an update in the morning. For tonight, just get a hotel or something.”
We exchanged numbers and I thanked him. As I began to walk away, he called out to me.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
I turned back around.
“Yeah,” I said. “Sure.”
“Do you happen to be (my dad’s name)’s son?”
For a while I just stared at him. Eventually I nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “I thought I recognized you.”
“I don’t understand,” I told him. “I’ve never seen you before.”
The cop took a deep breath before taking a quick look around. “Come here,” he said. “Come close.”
Tentatively, I did so.
“I can’t tell you everything. I don’t even know everything. But I think you should have the right to know the truth about your father. All of the stuff that’s happened here tonight, all of the shit that you’ve seen… it has something to do with him.
He took another look around before continuing. “Cartels, right? Was that the story they told you? It’s not so creative. But I guess it doesn’t have to be creative to be believable. Cause the shit that he was actually mixed up in… you would not believe unless you’ve seen it for yourself.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.
“Look, I have your number. I’ll be in touch tomorrow morning. This is something I’m curious about as well. Maybe you can give me some answers, point me in the right directions. But not here. So get out of here before people start noticing you. And stay safe.”
I didn’t feel like staying in a hotel that night, so I drove back into the city, dropping everybody off before arriving back at my own apartment.
Of course I couldn’t sleep that night, my eyes wired open into the morning as I waited for the officer to call. He still hadn’t by the time that noon rolled around and so I tried calling him instead.
No answer.
Eventually I did receive a call from the police, telling me that my father’s cabin had burned down and that it was due to a forest fire.
I told them that wasn’t possible because there had been no forest fire and that I suspected foul play and wanted it to be investigated.
“It’s already been investigated,” are the exact words that the officer told me. “Don’t worry about it. Just get in touch with insurance. Go over your options.”
And before I could say anything else, he had hung up on me.
It was a mixture of anger and curiosity that compelled me to drive back down there. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for the road leading towards the rest stop to be blocked altogether. There were two cop cars guarding the barrier, with a single officer signalling any vehicles approaching to turn around.
I pulled over to the side of the road and after some careful deliberation, I decided to get out and approach him and ask what was going on. Just to see what he might say.
When I finished the question, he stared at me for a long time. Uncomfortably long.
“Emergency construction,” is what he eventually told me.
After that encounter, I pretty much dropped trying to figure things out.
Some weird things have started happening to me since. Every night, I swear I can hear a baby crying in the apartment across from mine. The apartment that I thought had been occupied by a pair of college kids who definitely do not have children.
That cop that was supposed to call me finally did, a few nights ago. When I answered, I was met with dead silence on the other end. Nearly thirty seconds of it until the line clicked dead.
There’s an abandoned house sitting across the street from my apartment building, one that’s supposedly been there for years because the development of the store meant to take its place keeps getting delayed.
Somebody has started staring at me through its second-floor window. Whenever I catch them doing it, they’re quick to close the blinds, so I can never catch any details. But I know that the moment I turn away from it, their eyes are back on me.
I can’t confirm that any of these things are related. Whether it has anything to do with my father.
I just know that I don’t want to deal with it and that I want it to end.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nocontact4you
None of my family knows this trip will be the last time they see me.
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Poems
Thanks to u/lolfuckno for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, cancer, ableism, bullying, abandonment, emotional abuse of a child, verbal abuse, neglect, lies, mentions of miscarriage
MOOD SPOILER: Depressing
Original Post Feb 4, 2024
Firstly, I’m okay, physically anyway.
Honestly, I have no idea who this is for, but I think I just need it out of my head.
The circumstances of my birth were complicated. I broke up two marriages, and my family has never been shy about how they feel about me for that. Only one of my brothers has gotten drunk enough to tell me to my face that he resents me for existing, but I know it exists within all of them, at least in some way. Im much younger than all my siblings, and there was so much that happened out of our hands that I made excuses, but my whole life, I’ve never quite felt “part of the family”.
As a child, I told myself we’d make up for lost time once I got older and we could talk as equals. Now, at 23, I see glimpses of the life I wished I’d have, but in the end, I’m always too much trouble to involve. I hear EVERYTHING from my father. I had to find out my niece was in a car accident from him; I had to find out my other niece had a miscarriage from him; I had to find out my oldest brother had a BRAIN TUMOR haphazardly on a phone call with my father, which he didn’t even know I was unaware of.
I’ve known for a while I’m the only one trying, but for the sake of my dreams, I’ve given every opportunity for them to let me in, but I just can’t do it anymore.
I have a psychiatric service dog who aids me with CPTSD. He is the single greatest thing to happen to me. Not only did he save my life from myself, but he has made life livable. He can tell when I’m panicking and he knows pressure therapy to help me through an attack. He stops me from hurting myself in meltdowns, sits with me until the only noise I can hear anymore is his snoring on my lap. He allows me to go grocery shopping by myself. He is my soulmate, and anyone who knows me knows how important he is to me.
My dating life isn’t thriving, so I took a shot in the dark and asked my niece if she minded if I brought my service dog as my plus one for her wedding at the end of this month. I have to fly across the country to go, so I will be bringing him anyway since I cannot fly alone. I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if he could not have to stay in the hotel all night. I do not technically need him for the event, since I’ll know every guest and I will be drinking pretty heavily to cope, but getting to spoil him with a bow-tie, dancing, and STEAK, sounded like the perfect reward for helping me on my flight. Several times, I emphasized that I understood it was an odd request and she could say no if she wanted.
She was EMPHATIC that he could come! She said even if I found a date, he could come! I was elated! For once, I felt seen, I felt cared about, I felt valued. And then I got a call from my dad. No one wanted to make things awkward, but the mother of the bride was NOT okay with a dog being at the venue. I explained that he is a trained service animal and will not impede the ceremony in anyway, and I’d of course remove him if he did. Still, he said they didn’t like it. I was so tired of hearing everyone else’s words through my father. He won’t be around forever and sooner or later, they will have to start talking to me
I had one request: let the bride tell me. When I asked her, she said yes, and until she told me she changed her mind, I was under the assumption he could go. Well, I never heard back. My dad kept dropping hints when i’d call him, but I told him what my expectations were. When I RSVP’d, I put my dog as my plus one on the response to let them know I wasn’t backing down this time. At this point, I didn’t even care if she said he couldn’t go. I just wanted to hear it from her.
The next morning, I woke up to an EMAIL from my father. Not even a text, a fucking email explaining that my niece didn’t want to be the bad guy, but my dog was NOT welcome at the wedding. He said he was sorry, but he could still come with me to the hotel if I wanted.
Something inside me broke, I think. I think I realized this is truly a helpless case. They are never going to respect me the way I crave them to. To this day, not one of our conversations has been started by them. I always initiate, and now, the one time I request a direct contact, I get an email.
Family means everything to me. Over the last few years, i’ve redefined what a family can be, and if right now, my family needs to be a very damaged orphan and their service animal, I’m grateful I have that much.
So, I’m going to the wedding, and then I’m never going to talk to any of them again.
And the sad part is, I didn’t even think they’re going to notice.
Update:
First, thank you to everyone for the kind words, and all the advice. It sincerely means so much that so many people care. I want to address all the questions about why I want to go to this wedding at all. There are plenty of practical reasons that I can name, but the truth is, I need to go for my own closure.
I have a strange relationship with death, and loss. My mother died when I was 5; my family split up right after. I’ve lost several caregivers to serious diseases, grieving their death as they lived. I’ve learned how to navigate MY grieving process. If I don’t go to this wedding, I will regret it. Not only is it my last chance to see my childhood family all together in one place, but if I don’t go, I show them they can bully me. I do not want to make a spectical of my trauma with them, but that does not mean I have to walk away with my tail between my knees.
I’m not scared of them. My relationship is non-existent, but I did see my siblings/cousins/neiecesandnephews fairly regularly. When I was a kid, they intimidated and bullied me into silence, but I’m not a child anymore. I lived with these people; I can manage one night, if for no other reason than to prove they cannot control me.
Thanks again for all the kind words. Happy to provide a pupdate if someone can tell me how to post pictures from the app?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
When told not to go to the wedding

I spent $700 on a plane ticket and $200 on a suit. Least I can do is go drink someone else’s liquor and dance my worries away. Besides. It feels like goodbye

&

The cherry on top is they are all very conservative Christians, and I will be going in a suit with my hair dyed green and makeup done to the nines, so this will be my biggest “fuck you, I’m here anyway” I can pull off. Truthfully, my father’s memory is starting to go as he gets older, so even if I did explain my feelings, he will end up sharing anyway, so I’ve made my peace with the fact that it will be a one-way-street because lord knows they’re not gonna ask what I’m up to.

When told to call the bride directly

The last 20 years of trauma will not be solved with one phone call. This was their last chance to prove to me they want me in their lives. It’s not about the dog. It’s the fact that all I asked is to be treated like a person and talked to directly, and they have proven to me they don’t care, so I’m leaving. I already did my job of reaching out to her and she said yes. Why is it my job to reach out and make sure she hasn’t changed her mind?

When told her father is an asshole and he is the one responsible for everything

THANK YOU! I have felt like the only one who cannot fathom how that conversation could be had over EMAIL?? It’s sadly not uncommon for them to communicate through him, and I always have the receipts after the fact when they’re no longer worried about the awkwardness. My brothers don’t even know where I work. I am building a career around my job. They couldn’t tell you what my relationship status is, and I’d be hard pressed to tell you if they knew my middle name to be honest. My father is not innocent, but they are responsible for their part in our relationship. I have stopped reaching out to them directly because I barely hear back, and it’s clear they don’t really care what I’m saying. I could honestly write a book on the road that’s led me to this choice, but who’s got the time in this economy?

Pupdate for Everyone Asking! Feb 6, 2024
He’s a 2.5 year old, Black and Tan Coonhound☺️
Dog tax
Update Feb 26, 2024
Original Story Here:
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/s/2MfJ98m6kP
POST-WEDDING UPDATE!
So, I went to the wedding. It went about how I expected it to go, though one can never be ready for a spontanious conga line. Sadly, there was no secret last minute invite, nor any secret plot of which the bride was unaware. She felt bad saying no, so she lied, and she didn’t want to tell me that, and she still didn’t, even at the wedding. No one really said much at all, in fact. The mother of the bride did not speak to me at all, my brother tiptoed around the subject until the end of the night. To his credit, he did apologize, “for all the dog stuff” as he said goodbye. Strangely, the apology didn’t make me feel much better.
There was no big confrontation either, mainly because no one cared to listen to me if I tried. As the reception began, part of me wondered how much I was going to miss the people, the environment, the vibe, really. Truthfully, I surprised myself with how ready I was to leave. Goodbye was short, and bittwersweet.
The venue was pretty and the alcohol was free, so I made the best of my night, but I got what I needed out of it, I think. Getting home tonight felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I know more than ever that I need to do this, and what I once saw as cutting my family in half, I can now see is clearing space for new family, one that cares.
Thank you for all your kind words, and all the support for my dog!
Arrogance is Bliss March 25, 2024
You don’t love me.
You love an idea of me you fabricated in your mind when I was a child.
I’m no longer a child.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m growing, I’m glowing, and I’m grieving the reality that none of you will ever know the person I become.
You call it love, but my scars disagree.
You hate my hair, my style, my beliefs—you hate me.
And the saddest part is, I don’t even think you know you do.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I (27M) just finished what I think was my first real date in my life (I don’t think I need to explain why I think that’s my first real date, but could) and think I hit it off with this (31F) woman and my only problem is I was supposed to be set up by her with her (30F) friend.
For context I’m a waiter at a restaurant. Two weeks ago, the older woman was at a table of mine, said I was her friend’s type, and asked for my number to give to her for her friend. Since then however, I’ve been exclusively in contact with her, the one who got my number. We made some jokes back and forth over a couple of days and followed each other on social media. I suggested that we could go out somewhere for drinks and she could introduce me to her friend, plus, I’d bring a friend too so it wasn’t just me. Her and her friend accepted and we met up tonight. It was a pretty tough environment if I’m being honest. It was an extra loud night at a local pub and I’m hard of hearing, so it was tough to enjoy the conversations being let alone try to initiate them. Her friend, super sweet and from what I picked up on possibly a little shy was overwhelmed by the situation and decided to head out after a couple hours. She gave me a hug on her way out and said it was nice to meet me.
After another 15 minutes my buddy said he wanted to het a bite at a different bar since where we were was packed and loud. I said I wouldn’t mind and I thought it was the end of our time with this woman, but she also was interested and came along. She asked me to come with her to direct her since it was only up the road. In the car we chatted and immediately seemed to hit it off. We got to the bar and continued talking, getting to know each other, some shared interests and things we like to do locally. Throughout the conversation I noticed her getting comfortable with me and beginning to touch me every now and again. We hung out for another two hours before she left. When she did I decided to make my exit too and as I walked past her car she gave me a hug, but didn’t say anything like “hope to see you soon”.
I did have a good time with the younger woman, her friend. Big laughs, similar senses of humor and interests, but I didn’t get to make a connection with her. With that said, I felt like I made a connection with the woman who facilitated this meetup. I really don’t know anything about her friend, the person who I was intended to make a connection with, but had a great time with her and would maybe like to pursue something again with her.
I’m not sure how to handle this. If I got to know her friend more I’m sure we could have hit it off, but circumstances didn’t play out for that. Should I peruse something with the friend? Something with her? Neither? I just don’t want to be reading into anything too much or make the wrong call and mess up something in the future with the two of them. Suggestions?

Let me explain. Yes $GME. Yes $AMC. Yes $BTC. All are warriors for the truth! This is what we love. I'm in them ALL.
Yet this post is about another one to throw in there, which I have also done.
$FFIE. Faraday Futures!
Faraday Future is an American startup technology company focused on the development of electric vehicles, based in Los Angeles, California, it began producing vehicles in 2023 and markets them in the United States and China.
Today I went to their HQ to make sure I could see some REAL cars that they have produced. I did this because their Marketcap was less than a few million. Yes - you read that right - LESS THAN A FEW MILLION!!
Go back a few years ago and $FFIE marketcap was $4 BILLION.
This stock is REAL, it makes cars, cars for the future, yet how is valued at less than $1,000,000 a few days ago?!
It's been SHORTED and the SHORTS want this thing to die. It's been squashed to a pulp, yet now it's starting to breath again... and fight back it will.
The photo attached was a photo taken by myself today May 14th 2024 at the Faraday HQ in Los Angeles, California.
Check it, and ride the wave...
As a Tsunami is approaching!!