Hello! Ok, I F30 have never dated before. I was in 2 long term abusive relationships (I KNOW). First was from sophomore year of high school that lasted 7 years. The second was immediately after for 6 years. I have been single since August 2023 and didn't want to start dating or dating apps until Jan 2024. Fast forward I finally downloaded Bumble and had an instant connection with him M30.
Since we matched we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartments the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things.. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.

I've been desperately unhappy with my life for a very long time. I don't know how to fix it, but I've been daydreaming about starting anew somewhere no one knows me.
For some context/background: life was perfect until I was 9 years old - then my parents divorced and my mum quickly started dating an abusive, alcoholic man whom I had to try and shield my siblings from (I'm the eldest of 5). At 13 I started getting depressive and hypomanic episodes, but received no help. At 14 I had a severe psychotic breakdown and my whole family has treated me differently ever since because I scared them. At 14 I was also r*aped and abused in every way by my ex for 2 years. I tried to end my life but it just made my family hate me more until they stopped caring about me entirely. I'm treated as a literal ghost: they pretend I don't exist. At 17 I began struggling with widespread pain and fatigue. At 19 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and complex PTSD. I had to stay in a mental hospital for a month. At 20 I was finally diagnosed with ME/CFS. I started having severe seizures and was diagnosed with FND just after I turned 21. I cannot work, I cannot drive, I lost all my friends. I have very little money. I'm on strong medications and am mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I use a wheelchair and walking stick.
The only person I have is my boyfriend of almost 6 years now. He has pulled me from the road, he takes care of me when I have a seizure, he's the only good thing I have.
We have £2,000 in savings (which is a lot for us as I only have benefits and he works minimum wage and isn't great with money). We live with my (quite wealthy) dad and pay £500 a month, as well as all our own bills and food. My siblings have everything paid for them (my brother had 3 high end cars in a year, plus an £8,000 watch etc and more and doesn't have to work).
Due to my health, I don't think I could go abroad - but maybe a static caravan somewhere rural would be possible? A little place, where I could be myself and be free! I could wear whatever I want to. I could play music out loud. I wouldn't have to be so scared of seeing or hearing my family or conversing with them. I wouldn't have to pretend and act all the time. I wouldn't care what anyone thinks because they wouldn't be there! I want to know what it's like to be free. I don't want to de in the pathetic life I live now. I know running away won't change my disabilities, but my family have made me more unhappy than my disabilities ever could. If I ded, I truly don't think it'd be that big of a deal. An inconvenience, maybe, but nothing would change. I know it would crush my boyfriend though, and that's the only reason I've lasted so long...
He doesn't want to run away. He doesn't want to leave this room that we're renting from my dad at all. I can't keep going on like this, though. I'm physically and mentally trapped and I see no way out other than disappearing, one way or another. Maybe I could convince him somehow? He's done so much for me - everyone has told us how lucky I am to have anyone and how no one else would ever put up with me. Would it be too selfish for me to try and convince him to try this out?
Sorry for the ramble, thank you for reading.

I (M21) and ex-girlfriend (F21) I’ll call her Kate, have had an on/off relationship for 6 years. We met/reconnected in June of 2018 after having previously gone to elementary and middle school together until her mother pulled her from school.
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.

So I never new what the original Omegle was and came across this site while browsing reddit and wondered what the big fuss about Omegle was and why everyone was looking for a new one? So looking into it I figured out sorta what the fuss was all about and thought I would browse the new omegleme site just to see what’s going on and I spent like 3-4 days like 30 minutes at a time to see what’s going on and.... is this site just geared seriously for gay men or what’s the story? I literally saw 1 girl in 4 days and she was like 12 years old! I’m a bit creeped out by the site and a little concerned! I’m assuming it’s just not for me but wondered what’s the real story with it??

Ok so, I am in the eigth grade and our school does a mini eighth grade “graduation ceremony” for our transition into highschool. Part of this event is three people from eighth grade giving a speech to the student body and parents. I decided to submit my speech and I believe that I did impeccable in my audition, I was able to look up and give eye contact, was able to be breviloquent when reading, and my voice projected enough even without the mic.
After delivering the speech to my homeroom class and the judges I sat down and listened to the next speech. The next speech was by a girl who was infact, dyslexic. She was unable to look up at the crowd and even had to be REMINDED to pause during periods. It was to my utter disgust and trepidation that the dyslexic girl was chosen to deliver the speech.
I just was at a complete loss I what I could’ve possibly did wrong, I had more achievements such as volunteering at a nursing home, being head of student council, being in the gifted program, having the highest MAP testing score, and being chosen to write letters thanking a foundation for donating to my school. Besides I am far better at reading and writing than anybody in our school, even my homeroom teacher said that I am to the entire class!
So I was rather upset by being beaten by someone with a disability and turned to my friend to tell her I believed that this girl was chosen “Out of pity because shes disabled” and one of the teachers ended up pulling me aside to tell me how rude and disrespectful it was that I said that, and said they needed to pick someone who has a harder time to “be inclusive”. I just don’t understand why they couldn’t include someone who can read properly, I mean I know way more about literature than she does! She couldn’t name a classic that wasn’t taught in school, like when I attempted to speak to her about the novel Catch-22.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.

Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundaries
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancée (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we can’t just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says it’s very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancée even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I can’t let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancée did not know her. His fiancée is apparently distraught and claims we don’t see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my mom’s kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I don’t t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughters’ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I don’t want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. It’s not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my mom’s estate, they feel it’s not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothers’s watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the „each child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewellery“ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but It’s hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancée.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.

OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.
It’s worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my mother’s original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.

Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.

OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.

Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.

OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.

Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?

OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our mother’s birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. That’s how she got to know.

Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.

OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I can’t for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view it’s absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, it’s up to me to make the decision. She could’ve left them to anybody else, but she didn’t. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?

Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.

OOP: I actually don’t care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and won’t get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I don’t have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.

Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.

OOP: I don’t know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her nieces’ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girls’ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.

Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.

OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. It’s not that I feel she shouldn’t have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.

Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. She’s never met your mother but is distraught that she can’t wear her dead MIL’s jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didn’t even leave your brother’s wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancée are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again you’ll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughters’ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.

OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and it’s tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I can’t take away from my daughters to help her feel better.

Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.

OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I can’t in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.

Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?

OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.

Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled father’s full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my mother‘s wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancée after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that it’s very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my mother’s wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I would’ve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what she’s doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancé sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know they’re 18 but they’ll always be your babies!)!

OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my mother’s support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!

In response to a longer comment:

Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but it’s hard to tell what they will do. While I don’t believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.

​

I’m 14yr and my whole life I’ve been ugly. I’ve been told by my mom,brothers,friends, strangers who stare,laugh,and whisper to their friends. It’s affected my social life heavily, by the of time 4th grade the fact I was a unattractive female,so I tried making people laugh so I could make friends I always wanted to be one of the pretty girls,the teachers loved,the students loved and parents. I know my mom is embarrassed of me in general. I have a mental illness that I won’t get into because I tend to get off topic about it but I don’t act like normal teenagers my age. I am always told that my mom treats me differently because of my age and I’m female, but I simply don’t believe it’s true. The end of my 5th grade summer I told my mom I hated her,she’d grab me by my hair and throw me around because of my room being a mess,or I say something she didn’t like,even before that she’d fist fought me and pinned me to the ground to hit me in my face,as my step dad watched and smiled. (there was a mess in the floor,my mom told me to clean it the night before) this year she got her tubes untied so she could have another girl my mom already told me the reason she got pregnant to have another girl was for her to be better then me. I do understand where she’s coming from because she was 18 when she had me.
In 6th grade I was smoking because I felt better and I’d kinda forget everything at the time, this continued until 8th grade,the last time i smoked was back in december,I smoked to much and I panicked because I was afraid. Anyways let’s get back to the point tho, i don’t even thing I’m average but at this point I don’t even know what average is I’m Latina but not the ones boys like and the ones girls wanna be friends with. At this point of time I have 3 friends the 2 out of the 3 already called me ugly,and I wanna say I don’t care but i really do they’re all beautiful and there I am,not only am I ugly but I’m weird and a embarrassment to my culture.i never learnt Spanish because my mom or step dad wasn’t taught (I live where majority of white people live.) I’m sorry about this whole rant but i need to let some of this out because I’m trying to get over the fact I’m not attractive,and probably never will.

Hello everyone,

I am trying to get some advice on a situation I have going on. It’s a long story, so please forgive me I will try to make it as short as possible. My grandmother passed away in January. She left everything to me in the will. I am also the guardian of my uncle now who is severely handicapped. Her house was left to me to sell to be able to care for him. Before she died she was in the process of evicting my mother and her boyfriend. Once she died I went through with the eviction. Even gave them a couple extra months and a car. My mom also had an extreme risk protective order served on her for threatening to kill herself and anyone who came onto the property. This made her boyfriend angry who began texting me saying he was going to buy her more guns. At the eviction, he put multiple guns in his car and pointed to a bulge on his hip and told me and the constables he had a .44 and wasn’t afraid to use it. Since then I have gotten texts from him saying he is going to make things up about me in hopes that I get killed. He has threatened to get me charged with grand theft auto. I’m not really worried about that stuff. My issue is he has been coming back to the house. He stole the BGE meter. Has been stealing mail. Going through sheds. I set up cameras to catch him stealing mail, being on the property, riding up and down our dead end street (my house is on the end), and walking through the yard. I went on vacation this weekend and someone shot through my house and destroyed the mailbox. I know it was him, but the police say he hid in the bushes to do it and my camera didn’t pick it up. They were able to find the bullet in the house and have been telling me I need to go get a peace order. That way if he comes back on the property they can arrest him. My lawyer says I don’t have proof of any of this and it won’t work. I am going to the courthouse tomorrow and very nervous and could use some advice. For some background info, he has an extensive record dating back atleast 30 years, was in prison for 18months, assault/DV charges, and is a convicted felon. Do I have a case here? I am also worried about doing this and making him more mad. But the police are telling me one thing while my lawyer says another. 

If you took the time to read all this thank you! Very sorry it’s so much.

I finally trusted you again and I'm heart broken. I thought we were at at point where we would eventually be able to work through this together. It wasn't there yet but, there was hope again.
You were becoming a good Dad and a caring romantic partner.
I've had glimmers of hope through out the years:
-Fruit strip gum and 5th grade mouth shirt.
-When you asked me out in 6th grade and we had a homework date, with your weird nice Dad on his dial up internet.
-When you kissed me on my roof, while I was wearing my striped Contempo belly shirt (the next time we hung out you asked if you could pick Rosemary's sunflowers to give to Rae)
-When we went to homecoming together (but you took shrooms with Vinnie, so you were off, we danced a little.)
-When we had strange sex on your dorm room couch (my first time.) Followed by you discarding me when we were supposed to hang out next, after having my Mom drive 3 hours to get you, you didn't hang out with me when we got home. You NEEDED to go to the mall with again, Rae. I guess not a glimmer.
-Then I guess we were sex friends and kind of together, you spent lots of time at my house. You were so kind to my family (other than the time we got my 11 year old brother high and potentially ruined his mental health forever. This timeline isn't accurate but I thought of it.

• You were kind to my brother. Thank you for that. You really were a great brother in law to him. Be probably misses you.

-When you moved in with me . You had no where else to go but I pretended it was because you wanted to be with me. (We had some good times there, our room was toxic)
-We did ecstasy and had sex the football field. That was fun.
-You introduced me to your cold, cold family. They told/tell me I'm family too but that dynamic is weird. I don't envy that upbringing.
-We were a long distance couple but it was official. I ruined my education to make it work. I don't really regret that you're better than an education at that school.

• You told me a ghost told you we had to be together. I believed that piece only. Blocked out all the red flags, including Jessica (we've gone over that enough.) Dropped out of college and ran to you. You went back to her.

-She dumped you (finally, how many abortions later?) and you called me and played the thrown away song (not a glimmer, I was just glad you broke up, remember I made a decision to love you when I was 13.)
-You got jealous that I had a boyfriend and I brought his dog home from Florida. We had sex on my Mom's porch.
-You came down to Florida and saw I had good friends and was doing ok without you, you wanted me back (but you wanted to keep fucking all the strange that you were fucking and were ok with me doing the same until we got back together. I never touched anyone after that call, I don't care if you did.)
-Our Fernwood house was nice, I loved that you got me Stoops. You punched a hole in the door that I fixed witb painters plaster and we hung out with Jamie too much ( one night while I was sleeping I think something might have happened with you two but if you read everything before this you can see I'm not feeling secure in this relationship so who knows.)
-You were nice to my family, you loved my Mom and could converse with "Cool Cal," Diane and Jackie (they're tough.)

• You started talking about the band. You played a song (I didn't think it was that good, I didn't tell you that.) I wanted you to be famous, you deserve that. You're amazing!

-We went to California. You were so anxious and cruel the day we left. Then you told me you "just wanted to take care of me." My Mom told me to never be with someone who said that, that's what my Dad said to her. I didn't listen.

• You never got a job when we lived in Caifornia, I was OK with that. No one else was including Jesse. You took care of the house and made me food and really seemed to love me. I was happy. (I don't care if you did weird shit on tour, you came back to me,)

-We came back to Michigan, we built a home. We were broke and lost together.

• We went to Karen and Tom's wedding, I was proud to have you by my side, we were in love and I was pregnant.

-YOU DID NOT WANT KIDS (you told me this when we were about 17, you said you wanted to be with me but didn't want kids, maybe we would adopt when we were older.)
-I'm sorry I never listened to your words and tried to wish you into the person I dreamed you were. That's too much to live up to. I really am sorry I do this.
-We had the kids and they make all of this worth it.
-We didn't have 1 of them. I couldn't have another one without your support. We had sex on the washing machine and you told me you loved me and we could keep that baby. The next day you changed your mind. I didn't really want to do it again either but it felt good for a few minutes that you were agreeing to one.
-I cried and cried at that appointment once I was called back, you hardly looked at me while we were waiting, you were stoic. I couldn't have anymore kids with someone that didn't want them.
-I saw a blue meteor, I thought we should buy the blue house. The one I knew you would love, that came up on Zillow from time to time. I never told you about it because it was way too much work. Only the best version of both of us could handle that house.
-Zelda came, I was so happy for that one glimmer when that test was negative. But it wasn't.
-You told me "don't expect anything from me when that baby comes." I should have listened to your words
-Covid- I have writing longer than this and pictures of all the horrible, violent, heinous shit you said when that hit. I thought we would reset and bond and spend quality family time. Ha, see above. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have hope.
-Divorce. You threatened to kill me and all our kids. That's probably time to stop pretending this is working.
-I didn't stop pretending, we kept on. I held you and excused you and supported you. I fucked you with a passion I could never give you before because really it was already over and it didn't matter.
-It started to matter, you were helpful and kind again. You had your set backs but you seemed ready to finally commit to me and the kids.

• You went nuts, I soldiered on trying to make a living to support 3 kids, putting my interests on the shelf. I pushed you away so they wouldn't have to see you like that. I wanted to help you but I needed to protect them more.

-I asked you to get yourself help, you did.
-You called me a trigger and found your support from other women and not me.
-I feel lost without you, this is what I know.
-I feel like you can finally protect and love the kids.
-That's good!
-I'm strong but I need support too. You can't give that to me. I am choosing not to love you so I can find someone who will.

• I let you do this because I choose to love you. Why did you do?

*This shit is really a cycle and I've spun out at 43. I don't regret any of it, he gave me 3 beautiful kids. I was trying to me positive with this but almost every poitive thing is riddled with underlying negative that I pretended wasn't there at the time. *
If he/she's great but constantly makes makes you feel uneasy it's time to go!
Night, night 🌙 strong ladies and gents!

I guess more like “tantrum it out” in this case. Almost 3 year old has been a nightmare at bedtime recently. She’s totally fine up until the minute we close the door, and then starts wailing. When I don’t respond, it turns into screaming, kicking the walls, and now running to the door and trying to get out (locks from the outside).
I do not want to let her cry. She’s had a tough few months with a lot of changes: new sibling, move, potty training, transition to big girl bed, starting “school” (one day per week) and I know it’s hard.
But everything I do seems to make it worse. At first the requests were unusual, so I just went in and helped her. When I realized they were fake, I tried to ignore them but it escalated quickly. I tried standing outside her door and reassuring her, now she gets furious that I’m not coming in. I tried “checking in” every 5 minutes, now she demands check ins.
She has always been a great sleeper and fell asleep independently from about 2 months old on. We never formally sleep trained but we have let her cry it out during various regressions. Very consistent bedtime routine (bath, pajamas, potty, book, songs) at the same time every night. Ready to wake clock.
Do I just need to endure the tantrums for a week? Can I support her without creating bad habits?

I have worked at my company for 3 years and I enjoy the work and most of my coworkers. It's a smaller company and on our team, there is only one other girl somewhat close to my age (about 6 years older and at the company for 5+ years). She was an admin and I was hired as an associate. We were "work friends" - we'd go out for drinks, eat lunch together, I've been to her house, we went on a weekend trip once.
She has been ostracizing and gossiping with me since about January. At first, I thought she was struggling with a new role (she moved positions to replace someone who left) and was frustrated with her job but then she started excluding me from things (such as planning things for our department) and acting like I don't exist. I didn't really notice until March as I don't like to think I'm a main character in people's lives and I was out of office a bunch due to a personal situation. Recently several people have come up to me telling me that she has been spreading (false) gossip about me and trying to "cancel me." I also walked in on her gossiping about me with a managing director by my desk.
The last time this happened was a year ago when I was promoted and she wasn't - but it wasn't this bad and she got over it. Our company has had a lot of drama surrounding the Israel/Palestine conflict (related to our line of work) but we have been able to avoid political arguments in the office. I know we're on different sides so I've danced around the issue/changed the subject and not talked to her about it. I also don't post anything on social media nor do we follow each other except for LinkedIn.
I've never been someone who needed to be best friends with my coworkers - I honestly prefer to keep my work and personal lives separate. But it's really hard to go into the office everyday and sit next to someone who is acting like you don't exist, rolling her eyes every time you join a conversation (we're in cubicles), and trying to "cancel me" or whatever. It's actually made me really depressed and anxious - I even had a panic attack in the office after I heard her gossiping (I thought it was about me but it was about someone else).
We're required to be in office Tues-Thurs and I want to do my job (I really like everything else about my role and the company) but I don't know what to do. Our HR has a policy that they prefer interpersonal conflicts to be resolved without them. I don't really want to talk to her directly because she'll just get defensive and tell me she's free to do as she pleases. I don't feel that close to anyone at work to talk to them about it. I also feel like I have nothing to complain about (just a girl gossiping about me) and that I'm just being overly sensitive.
But this has made me dread coming into the office - to the point where I wake up and lie in bed depressed and show up an hour late (which no one minds, we're flexible about start/end times). I am toying with the idea of requesting an ADA accommodation to work remotely (I do have a documented disability and it would help me) but I don't want to do anything that drastic (nor have that awkward conversation with my supervisor).
I don't know what to do. Am I just being overly sensitive? What's the best way to move forward with minimal drama? Like I said, I don't want to be friends, I just want to feel welcome in my workplace.

My boyfriend and I have been living together since May 2021, dating since January 2021. We both work full-time and have three pets together (2 of which we’ve rescued since living together). We both have the same vision for our future and have been shaping our lives around our future for the last year. Meaning we’ve talked about buying a house together, having kids, etc etc.
I knew previously that he had different views on marriage because we come from different backgrounds with different relationships role modeled by our caregivers…. Maybe you could guess that he came from a home where he’s never seen a happy or healthy marriage.
I have not brought up the topic of engagement or marriage until a few months back when I sent him a Pinterest board nonchalantly and then caught him looking at it. I brought up the topic of engagement and looking at rings together, he didn’t have much to say but I would say it went well. It was a very neutral and calm conversation.
Then two weeks ago, I had two friends get engaged (from completely different friend groups- just coincidentally a few days apart). I’m the MOH in one of my friend’s wedding this summer and have been planning the bachelorette party. Needless to say, marriage and engagement has been on my mind a lot….
And although I’m incredibly happy for my friends who are engaged (and also already married), I can’t help but feel envious. Or more or less, questioning why I can’t be experiencing the same in my relationship? It’s not so much jealousy but more feeling like doubting or questioning my own relationship.
My first friend to get engaged this year had been with her fiancé for a year. My two friends who recently got engaged had both been dating their boyfriends for less than two years. And only one of those three couples has ever lived out of their parent’s home yet…. I am not judging them at all but more thinking how come I’ve been with my bf for more than 3 years and building a life with him under the same roof for three years, but he won’t even talk about engagement.
We’ve had multiple disagreements and arguments since my two friends got engaged. My boyfriend continues to make one of two very conflicting points: 1) he wants that with me but isn’t ready or 2) that he wouldn’t tell me if he was ready because it’s supposed to be a surprise.
I am left feeling unhappy with the outcome of our conversations because he’s telling me he’s not ready but also acting like he doesn’t want to spoil some big surprise. I would know if he was shopping or saving for a ring because he can be a little frivolous with money and he’s made some recent bigger purchases.
How can I communicate with him or ask that he does have a conversation with me when he’s “ready”? He told me that there’s nothing I can do to get him to that point because it’s something he needs to work through and I do believe/trust that. But still it leaves me hanging and questioning whether it’s worth it to wait because I feel ready. I’m absolutely in love with him but I feel rejected and unwanted because of my own insecurities coming up lately.

Idk about you guys but I've always loved how a shower felt after a bunch of work. Something special about it. Anyway thanks for reading! :)
They were both offered showers by town citizens happy to open their homes. Gareth found showers immensely awkward but didn’t need to worry as a few townsfolk drew him a bath. With some extra help from Deag, who had taken a short trip to the ship, he treated the water and was finally able to eat something. It was no traditional Weilan spa, but it was… close enough. If he was being entirely honest, he was just glad to finally be able to eat something. He may have fibbed to Pen when they talked about food. He wasn’t near starving quite yet and even though being carried had allowed him to conserve a lot of energy, it wouldn’t have helped much longer.
He looked down at his poor shell. Its color greatly diminished from the lack of food and immense stress of the whole ordeal. He could feel the buildup of toxins in his system before and it was wonderful to feel them washing out. He sighed and slumped down under the water. Again, he inspected his shell. Wilting and greying all over his eyes wandered to the crack made by Pen when she pulled him out of the way of the turret. Probably another two months to heal but it was coming along. She must have remembered it too when they were falling. She was gentler. It honestly surprised him that he managed to survive that fall without any major injury.
Gareth let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he soaked under the water. After a few minutes, though, he heard a thump from outside the tub. He rose up from the water and peeked over the lip of the tub. A small human child stared back from the washroom door. Small by human standards that is. He was shorter than Gareth but only by a few inches. If Ton’et’s human biology lessons were serving him well the boy wouldn’t remain much smaller than him for more than a year or so. He should be quickly entering a time of quick growth that humans experience periodically in their formative years.
“Mmmhmmmb” the boy mumbled, still hiding most of himself behind the door.
“What was that?” Gareth asked.
The boy shirked slightly but found his voice after a moment.
“You… You’re weird looking.”
Gareth chuckled.
“You’re the weird looking one.”
The boy's brow furrowed, easier to read than Pen by far. The child wore his emotions on his face.
“Nuh uh…”
“Yuh huh.” Gareth mimicked the child.
“No, you don’t look like anyone else here.”
“Well, I’m not from here, am I? I’m from a place where everyone looks like me and nobody looks like you.”
This seemed to puzzle the boy.
“How many people?”
Gareth tilted his head. An odd question.
“Lots? Trillions.”
“Is that more than here?”
It dawned on him the math the boy was doing.
“Definitely.”
“Darn…”
The boy lightly tapped the doorframe with his foot.
“You could go see them.” Gareth offered.
“Really?” A shine came to his eyes.
“Oh definitely, there's a ton to see. More places out there than trees in that forest outside.”
The boy didn’t understand trillions but that comparison made sense to him.
“Waoooaahhh,” a frown came to his face quickly, “but I like it here though. I have friends here.”
“So when you miss them, just come on back. No reason you cant enjoy both right?”
Gareth's words were a joyous revelation to the boy.
“I’d love that I think…”
“I think you would to.” Gareth chuckled.
“You may be weird but you're pretty cool. My names Cameron by the way.”
“Pleasure to meet you Cameron, I’m Gareth. I think you’re weird and cool too.”
Cameron giggled and sprinted away, stopped, turned around, closed the door gently, then turned back around and sprinted away again. Gareth sunk back down into the tub smiling.
Pen stepped under the shower head with her face turned up. Steaming hot water hit her face and ran down taking all the stress and sweat with it.
A proper shower was exactly what Pen needed. She was no stranger to dirt and sweat and when needs must, she had no issue. That said, filthy was by no means a preferred state and after two days hard march, sleeping in the dirt, and only washing off in a river, a proper shower felt divine. It almost reminded her of washing off after a particularly arduous drop. There was something especially satisfying about it.
Soap, warm water, and more time to enjoy it than she’d ever have been given on the Basho. After getting clean she turned the heat up as high as it could go and propped herself against the wall of the shower letting the water run over her shoulders and back. The heat melted through the tension and washed it down the drain.
Ahhhhhh. Perfect.
Something tickled her neck and she brought her right hand up to it. She pulled a long strand of hair away. It struck her as odd and brought her attention to her hair. It had gotten longer. The strand in her hand was almost alien due to how long it had been since she’d allowed it to grow out beyond a few inches.
She brought both her hands up now, raking them through the newfound length. She’d start having to wear it up if she didn’t want to cut it.
She kind of didn’t. Why should she?
After a nice long while in the hot shower she turned the water off and stepped out. The bathroom was heavy with steam, but she saw that towels and clothes had been set by the sink for her. She dried herself and examined the clothing. It was a simple handwoven dress, loose cut and floor length. The dress was dyed olive green and parchment white with a humble little leaf-like pattern embroidered around the wrists and neckline.
It certainly wasn’t her normal fare, but it was clearly a kind gesture and matched the clothing most wore around town. With how little worn and well taken care of it looked Pen could guess that it meant a lot to the person who donated it.
Pen donned it and looked to the mirror only to find it utterly fogged up.
A light knock came from the other side of the door.
“Are you alright miss?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yea…” Pen faltered.
“Oh does the dress not fit? Or would you prefer something else?”
“No, no, it fits fine,” it did reach the floor though perhaps not as much as it was intended to, “How about you tell me how I look.”
Pen opened the door. Steam rolled out as she moved into the room with the young woman. She was a stranger to Pen but looked like the older lady whose house this was. Pen guessed a daughter.
“Oh my, I think you look quite nice! Olive is definitely one of your colors. Here!” The girl fumbled somewhat but showed Pen to a tall mirror in the far corner of the room.
It was… certainly a look. Not one she was used to but that was expected. The dress fit fine and it did look nice. Pen couldn’t help but notice, though, that it sat oddly on her. Not tight or revealing by any means, just… a gentler looking piece of clothing on a less than gently built frame. It wasn’t exactly made to be worn by a muscled body.
“Oh erm here miss,” the young woman handed her a hair tie but pulled back, “or if you want I could help you put it up? Its at that weird point where its not long enough to… you know but too long to uh it can be difficult. If you want I can…”
“I… appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I think I'll leave it down for now.”
“Right. Well, here. Just in case you want to.”
She again handed the hair tie but this time let Pen take it. Pen stowed it around her wrist.
“Is Gareth?”
“Oh yes your friend is across the street at the Patterson's. I can bring you over if you like.”
“Lead the way.”
“Of course.”
The girl led her out of the house and across the street. Pen saw a couple putting up woven cloth streamers across the road. They anchored them in trees with some parallel and others crossing.
As the girl stepped up the front porch of the, apparently, Patterson's house she waved to an older gentleman in a rocking chair.
“Evening Mr. Patterson. This is Penelope, she was just calling on her friend.”
“Evening dear. Evening miss. Yer friend hasn’t come out yet but you can head on up. To the left at the top, far end door.”
“Thanks.”
His hand came up to keep her just a moment.
“Thank you miss.” He said accentuating the ‘you’.
He looked at her like they all did. She knew what he meant and as awkwardly as it always was she smiled and nodded before she pushed past him. At least he had the good sense not to salute.
As she climbed the stairs just inside the door to the house she heard the man ask a question of the girl.
“Dear, could you ask your mother about a few fertilizer spikes? The peach is looking like it needs some help.”
Pen continued too far to make out her reply but could guess by its warm tone that it was a yes. She turned at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hall. Knocking on the door she called out to Gareth.
“You still soaking?”
“Just suiting up. I’ll be out in a min.”
A ‘min’ huh? Pen thought.
Previous
First

I've hit legend with Mech Warrior twice now, but the second list takes a very different form than the first. Admittedly, the first time wasn't "dominant" by any stretch, I just played a lot of games with a slightly-over 50% winrate. This new deck was a much easier coast to legend, and it felt much higher powered both in terms of deck strength and meta positioning. So this writeup will of course be dedicated to the second and current iteration of the deck.

Taunt Mech Warrior

Class: Warrior

Format: Standard

Year of the Pegasus

2x (1) Execute

2x (1) Frequency Oscillator

2x (1) Garrosh's Gift

2x (1) Sanguine Depths

2x (1) Tar Slime

2x (2) Gold Panner

2x (2) Greedy Partner

2x (2) Needlerock Totem

2x (2) Roaring Applause

2x (2) Unlucky Powderman

1x (3) Bellowing Flames

2x (4) Backstage Bouncer

2x (4) Boom Wrench

2x (6) Testing Dummy

1x (7) Containment Unit

1x (8) Inventor Boom

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (3) Virus Module

1x (5) Perfect Module

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Card choices

My absolute most favorite thing about this deck right now is the crazy amount of synergistic cards. Tons of packages come together, with shared synergies and complementary strengths. There are even other packages I tried in other iterations (riffs, armor gain, excavate, etc) which didn't make my cut, but still have definite potential in alternate lists.

Mech package

Frequency Oscillator, Zilliax, Boom Wrench, Testing Dummy, Containment Unit, Inventor Boom
I don't run any tutors for the combo pieces, and haven't needed them. You almost always end up with a wrench + Testing Dummy by ~turn 7 with the amount of draw in the deck, and the deck has lots of survivability in the meantime.
Instrument Tech just felt bad as a 2 drop, particularly for tutoring as weapon that doesn't have any real standalone value or immediate impact. The deck ran way smoother when I just relied on regular draw to dig for pieces.
I'm iffy on Containment Unit. The deathrattle isn't game winning, and the magnetic ability isn't useful very often. Though it's ridiculous to magnetize onto a Testing Dummy and proccing both deathrattles twice with the Boom Wrench. But that's a rare hit, and the deck often wins on its own without really needing Containment Unit. It's the best of the other "big mech" options, but it's worth experimenting with other utility cards instead.

Taunt package

Tar Slime, Unlucky Powderman, Backstage Bouncer (+ Dummy & Zilliax)
Fantastic stabilization against aggro and decent protection against OTKs. Backstage Bouncer also sucks up a ton of removal that suddenly isn't available for your stronger turn 6-8 plays. Backstage Bouncer also turns your weaker drops (Tar Slime, Oscillator, Greedy Partner) into valid threats.
I've flirted with the draw-2-taunts card - who doesn't love a good 2 mana draw 2? - but honestly you're usually looking to draw other stuff when you're really in a pinch. The other draw options were generally more impactful.

Draw package

Needlerock Totem, Gold Panner, Roaring Applause
Since we don't run tutors for our combo pieces, the draw really helps getting set up with whatever is needed for the current match. Digging for taunts and clears vs aggro; digging for executes vs tall minions; etc.
Roaring applause is a pretty interesting card with a surprising amount of hits in this deck. Mechs, elementals, totems, and undead.

Execute package

Sanguine Depths, Execute, Garrosh's Gift
This package is the most surprising performer and became a staple in all my Warrior decks. It was a necessity when Warlocks were running rampant, and still helps vs the assortment of giants and buffed minions that are still seeing play now. Cheap single removal never feels too bad.
Sanguine Depths is such a versatile location, and 3 procs for 1 mana is absurd value in a deck with strong survivability like this one.
I've tried replacing Garrosh's gift with Blast From the Depths (and adding Kobold Miners for a full excavate set), but the versatility of Garrosh's gift just felt more impactful. I wouldn't be surprised if an optimal version made room for the excavate package though; the ox is another ridiculous power swing for this deck.

Other card choices

Greedy partner: accelerates your combos by a turn. This can be the difference maker way more often than you might think. It allows Wrench on 4 into Testing Dummy on 5, sometimes even allowing the mini weapon if you have another coin or the Oscillator discount.

Omissions

More Board clears - the deck can generally put enough minions on the board to contest whatever your opponent has. The goal isn't to save up for one big combo turn. The goal is to apply midgame pressure and then pull off something backbreaking once you have sucked up your opponent's resources. Essentially, the goal is to outlast your opponent's board clears, instead of worrying about your own.
Riffs - the deck wants more minions early, and can't wait for 5 mana to start getting minions on board. The 1 and especially 3 mana riffs don't cut it.
Armor - your best defense is a bit of offense, and these cards are generally zero offense. Part Scrapper is pretty bad without Safety Goggles, as otherwise you're basically spending 4 mana to save 5 mana later (not great). Meanwhile, these cards eat up your draw, while you're looking to draw impactful or combo pieces.
Excavate - this is probably the closest package that deserves to make the cut. Replacing Executes or Garrosh's gift with Blast Charge, and then replacing another 2 drop with Kobold Miner. It was stronger when Pain Warlock was rampant, since you needed the Blast Charges to handle the giants. Now, they're more likely to sit dead, or get wasted on low-impact minions for the sake of the excavate. Also, the flexibility of Garrosh's Gift is hard to quantify, but quite often you're actually going for Shield Block.

Playstyle

The deck is surprisingly capable of keeping early presence to match aggro, while having enough mid and late game threats to pressure control decks.
The deck has a lot of 2 drops, so you often have to make some awkward choices through turns 2-4. Finding ways to get multiple procs off a single totem / gold panner can be incredibly important. And against aggro, these can basically soak up your opponent's attacks to protect your face.
It is not always better to proc both weapons on the same turn. Sometimes you should swing the 3 attack weapon and save the mini for a subsequent combo. Aggro sometimes doesn't even kill the Testing Dummy, allowing the same proc next turn.

Mulligan

Matchup dependent.

• Vs aggro: go for survivability tools (taunts, cheap minions, Backstage Bouncer). If you have a decent early curve, you could maybe keep Testing Dummy. The goal is to contest them as evenly as possible in the early game until you can throw out a Testing Dummy or Zilliax around turns 4-6 (help from Oscillator + Greedy Partner).
  
• Vs midrange: this basically means tall minions in the current format. Warlock, maybe handbuff Paladin, maybe Gaslight Rogue. Dig for Executes and Garrosh's Gift.
  
• Vs control: keep Testing Dummy, Gold Panner, Needlerock Totem, Greedy Partner. Maybe Roaring Applause if you have a tribal 1 drop and are going first. Basically do everything you can to accumulate resources, and trust that you will have the pieces you need to continuously build threats from turn ~5 onward.
  

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions causes us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.

Today I had to do the most awful thing and take my old girl cat to be put to sleep. I was never a cat person before she showed up but she converted me quick, she was nothing but sweet and friendly, even though she was already old and on her way out. I probably kept her around for longer than I should've because of how great of a pet she was. But she quit eating and drinking and didn't want to move, so I knew it was time. She was the sweetest thing to the vet, to everyone all the way to the end. I wish I had met her years ago. Whoever left her out there old and alone had to have been so heartless.
A few weeks ago, another cat showed up on my property, a little fluffy one with boogers all over his face. I took him in and they gave me antibiotics for him, but they didn't work. I called and they said it was just "cat flu" and to wait, but he can barely breathe. I took him back and they tried to blow me off about it, until a big bump showed up on his nose and blood started coming out. Finally they agreed to do a culture to see what was going on. Today they called and said one of the results had come back as a certain bacteria and they gave me different antibiotics to try to treat it. They are still waiting on the other results if there's anything else going on.
I'm so scared I'm going to lose him, too! He is so adorable and funny. I already say he's my son, I have two human daughters and they have no problem with it haha, they don't like that I have named their brother Booger though. My canine daughter is cool with him too. So I'm hoping to hear some stories of your kittens who were sick like this and got better. If that's allowed. I am already actively seeking medical treatment so I'm not looking for diagnosis, just some stories to make me feel less anxious after today! Thanks!

My boyfriend and I met in college. I was in my second year and he was a third year. Honestly, he is one of the funniest, kindest, and smartest people I know. Something about his personality just matches mine and I love his energy, compassion towards people, and just outgoing friendliness. We are both looking for jobs right now since I am graduating in a month. I have been working part time at a restaurant as well as completed an internship during college. On the other hand, my boyfriend has been working as a server at a restaurant and lives with his mom, and although he is looking for a job, he hasn't had any luck. So now that his mom is telling him to find a full time job or move out, he is finding himself applying for more restaurant jobs. This honestly bothers me a lot. I know that he wants to go into marketing and business but he doesn't show any interest in learning about these fields when there are so many resources online. He just likes to go to the beach and surf, hang out with his friends, and just work. Me on the other hand, I am actively sending my resumes and cover letters to multiple companies everyday (not having too much luck either), reading, and just bought a plane ticket to new york to stay there after college. I love my boyfriend a lot but I need to understand that he is 23 years old and should start being more independent and driven towards his goals. As a 22 year old, is it wrong of me to leave my boyfriend just because he doesn't have and hasn't been motivated to pursue a professonal career??
TL;DR My boyfriend and I are so compatible but career and goal wise, I'm not liking where he is at. Is it wrong of me to leave him because of this or should I give him more time?

Hi okay this is my first reddit post so please be patient if it's wonky.
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!

Not really sure where to talk about this and I’m not one for venting to friends. I had a boyfriend for 4 years (I was 15-19) and we broke up in 2021. Im now 22 and have had multiple partners. (Both men and women) and I always have a phase where I become obsessive over them for short periods of time. Once we’ve become “official” it’s like that completely disappitates and I no longer want anything to do with them. Has anyone else gone through this and figured it out? I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for about 2 years now but whenever I have mentioned this to psychiatrists and therapists they make it seem like it’s not a big deal and maybe I just “wasn’t into them” but I was never treated wrong or nothing changed to make me just completely flip the switch. I mentioned this in an off handed comment to my friends and they laughed and said that I sounded like a “narcissist” but looking into it that’s kind of what it sounds like. I also have looked into the aromance spectrum but I don’t think that applies either because I had that long term ex boyfriend who I really did love, it just didn’t work out. Any advice?

I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3

Throwaway because my girlfriend knows my main. So as it states in the title, I (A 27-year-old man) have a girlfriend (a 27-year-old woman) of 3 years. We met through a mutual friend who had been insistent on introducing the two of us because we would, and I quote “automatically fall in love”
Well he was right, that son of a bitch. The moment I met her I knew I would never meet anyone else like her. I stand firm on my belief that she is too pure for this world, she is an eternally kind and loving person. She is the kind of person to give you the food on her plate even it means she starves. I assume that's a trait that comes from growing up as the oldest daughter in a house of 6 brothers. But nevertheless, she's the best person I know and I love her to death.
Now, here is where my problem comes into play. My girlfriend is a songwriter, she writes songs and sells them, and works with different artists on different projects. Recently, she has been working on an album with this guy, Alex. I was first introduced to him about two months ago when she brought him and his band over for dinner, me and my girlfriend cooked it together and even taught one of the bandmates how to make bread from scratch. It was a wonderful night and I was thankful to be able to be a part of my girlfriend's job like that. As for Alex, he seemed like a decent guy, very much a jokester as he had most of us laughing the entire time. Just seems like a very good guy.
My problem started around week two of knowing him. My girlfriend came home practically jumping for joy as she told me she was going to be singing on one of the songs. Alex had apparently asked her to do a duet with him. I was over the moon excited for her, she has a beautiful singing voice, and its one of the things I love about her. She told me that they were going to be recording the next day and she would love it if I stopped by. I didn't think twice before agreeing and when I went the next day I was in awe of her. I stood outside of the booth, next to this couch where the other bandmates were. Alex and her were both in the recording booth. I remember just listening to my girlfriend and all of a sudden I caught a glance of the look on Alex’s face and to say he was completely entranced would be an understatement. He was looking at her with this look that I can't even begin to explain but it was just like he was completely captivated by her. I brushed it off after that because knowing my girlfriend it's hard not to be just in awe of her. I didn't think too much about it for about another week.
Until I got a call from a buddy of mine, he called me and told me to check Alex’s Instagram story. I did and the first thing I see is a picture of my girlfriend in the studio with the words “If I'm dreaming, never wake me up” and a pink heart emoji. My friend is practically fuming saying things like “That's so rude, why would he do that, he knows she is dating you, etc.” I immediately tell my friend to calm down, because it's not the most damaging post ever and in hindsight, it could be a joke. I brought it up to my girlfriend later and she told me that he verbally said that to his friends and everyone laughed so she knows it was a joke that he put it as the caption. I just accepted that answer and moved on.
Then a couple of days after that, we all went out for drinks as a little celebration of my girlfriend and Alex finishing the song. My girlfriend and I excused ourselves to get more drinks, we got them and she told me she was going to the restroom so I should go back to the table. I was walking to the table when I overheard them talking. It was dark and there was a good crowd so I don't think they saw me walking up. But I overheard this exchange;
Guy 1: “She literally brought him, what don’t you get?”
Alex: “It's not like they're married. Plus she hardly talks about him, maybe she's bored.”
Guy 1: “That doesn't mean she wants you.”
Alex: “It's worth a shot.”
I kind of slowed my steps, not really processing what I was hearing. My immediate thought was the optimistic “Maybe they're talking about someone else?” But when I later got home I realized the obvious, my girlfriend was the only girl there. Who else could they be talking about? Again, I tried to brush it off. I didn't want to be the guy who didn’t trust his girlfriend.
Then the second shoe finally came down. About two days ago, I was on a call with this guy, I'll call him Tim. Tim is the assistant manager for the band, and has been the only one I seriously became friends with out of these band guys. I was on the phone with him yesterday and we were chatting about miscellaneous things and it was casual. Until I brought up my girlfriend. I told him how excited she was about this album. Tim got quiet and his voice started to get a bit guilty. I asked him what was wrong and that's when the dam broke. He told me about how Alex had been telling people he is in love with my girlfriend a long time. How almost all the love songs on the album, which Alex has said to my face were about an ex of his, were really about my girlfriend. Tim told me that he constantly talks about getting her away from me, and how he could give her a better life. With fancier things and luxurious vacations. I was sick to my stomach.
I'm a pretty normal guy, I think I'm decently attractive, I take good care of myself, and work out a good amount. I try to give my girlfriend the best things but I'm a junior associate at my law firm, so I make at best 50,000 a year. I give her everything I can even when she doesn't ask for it and the thought that it might not be enough just kills me. Tim was extremely apologetic for not telling me sooner, and I forgave him, I can understand the situation. After the call, I couldn't shake this nagging anxiety. I love my girlfriend, she has never given me a reason not to trust her. I believe that she would never in a million years cheat on me, or even consider it. So it's not her I am particularly worried about. I don't even want to be worried in general, I trust her, and I love her. But there's this nagging feeling of just anxiety I get at all times of the day. I feel helpless to do anything because I don't want to tell her this and ruin one of the best music opportunities she's ever had. Something which she is so excited about. I just can't stand this worthless feeling, this feeling like I'm not enough for her or that I need to do more. Call me insecure, I probably am. I just can't stand to lose her. It would probably kill me. So what should I do? I'll take any advice at this point.
TL;DR: My girlfriend's coworker is in love with her and actively is trying to win her over. I love and trust my grilfriend but I am still feeling poorly about this. What should I do?