Letter to boyfriend marry me or breakup

I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (31M) for 10 years. For context, we met via Hinge and he is my first serious relationship (I dated 2/3 person before him but it didn’t last long).
He is the perfect boyfriend : He is supportive, loving, caring, a good listener, loyal, funny, smart, handsome, confident… you name it. Everyone who meets him speaks highly of him.
I love him. He is my best friend, the person who knows me the best. I rely on him a lot since my family is not very present and I don’t have a lot of close friends.
But lately I started to have some doubts about our relationship. Sometimes, I feel like we became an old couple who stay with each other just out of habit.
When we are together, I am the one who usually make small talks, tell him about my day. He rarely has anything to tell me. His job is not the most exciting, I get it, but I can’t believe there is nothing to talk about when I ask him about his day. Sometime we eat in silence (a comfortable silence but still) and I am bored. When we plan a date, it’s often up to me to choose what I want to do/where I want to eat because he says he just want to do what I like. I know that he is telling the truth but I would like for him to be more spontaneous/assertive. I kind of feel like we are used to each other and the routine is starting to eat me up.
We do not live together but we text/call everyday and we see each other every week. We usually spend the week-end together at my place. Before, I wished we could see each other more but he works a lot during the week and we live 1 hour apart so I got used to seeing him once a week.
My friends and family are asking me why we do not live together. There are practical reasons : My flat is too small and he doesn’t want to rent (he is still living with his mother, to save money to buy a house). But also I just moved alone and my not ready to share my space full time with anyone else.
It doesn't bother him. We don’t talk a lot about the future, as we don’t really know if we want to get married or have children. I’m not even sure of what I want.
I know I love him but I don’t know if I am still in love with him.
The worst part is that when I’m doubting my feelings, I know that he doesn't.
I see it, the way he behaves : every time he has a day off he comes to see me, he compliments me, he buys me small gifts for no reason. He shows me that he loves me, not in a stifling way but I have no doubts about him.
I feel guilty about this disparity. I feel like he should be with someone who feels the same way about him.
Maybe I should take some distance for clarity but I also know that if I tell him that, it would break his heart and I feel like it’s unfair to ask him to wait for me to make up my mind. He deserves better.
Somedays I feel like I should just end this relationship but the thought of not having him in my life anymore is excruciating to me. We spent more than 10 years together and I can’t fathom not seeing him ever again. I would miss him terribly, I’m sure of that. If I break up with him, I’m afraid that I would regret it.
But I’m also afraid about the opposite. What if I regret not ending it sooner ? I kind of feel ashamed to say that but I wished I had more experience before committing to a 10 years relationship. I never really had flings/fun adventures. I’m not sure that I actually missed something but still.
Do you have any advices for my situation ? Any insights or opinions are welcomed.
Thank you for reading me.
Ps : Sorry for any mistakes in grammar or vocabulary, English is not my native language.

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago while he was on vacation and I live with him until I move out at the end of this week. He’s supposed to come back from tomorrow and I keyed his dashboard after the breakup (nothing insane just a few words). I cleaned the whole house one moment and then just got fill with anger like 0-100 type shit. Some of my friends say I should fix it, some of my friends say leave it as is. Should I fix it or leave it?
For context (if it matters): I’m diagnosed w bipolar+bpd. we broke up do to poor communication, because I kept asking him “who,what,when,where,why”, because he didn’t bother to mention he was staying with his ex and some friends at an Airbnb. He’s also in the Navy.

I’m on season 18 episode 8, first time watching it. Christine has left, Meri is moving to Parowan and Kody and Janelle just had the huge breakup fight and now Kody is back to “dating” Janelle.
It seems like Robyn and Janelle are the only 2 wives that he was actually kind of in love with, or am I reading things wrong? Kody actually seemed upset that he and Janelle aren’t doing the married thing, but at the same time he seems excited about the prospect of having to woo her all over again. He didn’t react like that with either Meri or Christine, in fact it seemed like he couldn’t wash his hands of them fast enough.
I find Robyn being upset about being “forced” back into a monogamous relationship funny. She keeps talking about how she didn’t want to be monogamous, she wanted sister wives, and it got me thinking… is she after polygamy just so she can continue her shopping addiction without having to worry about being held accountable? Or is her personality so 2 dimensional that she can’t handle having her husband around her all the time?

Hi there, I'm a woman and I'm in my 30s and I am struggling with social connection.
I was diagnosed with adhd last year and have been medicated. But I discovered that my social skills have not improved at all.
Looking back I realize this isn't some new thing.
Some of my worse memories include never successfully integrating with my past boyfriend's families: for example when I was in my teens and was at my bfs social gathering - there came a time when I couldn't stand being in the event. I went out to get air and was berated by his step mum and called "spoiled".
There's been several of these incidents all in the same line. I've been married and now divorced. I've been told over and over again that I just "don't care about anyone"
Okay -- so personal life connections wasnt great but, and I could live with that. But now my life is alot more complicated and this social deficiency is showing up at work. I just don't know how to navigate anything!!! And I feel like I'm a liar. I hate to say this and it sounds so self centered, but I'm perceived as "put together" and I'm aware that I'm perceived "attractive". And when you have an invisible disability it seems people calculate their sympathy or compassion based on how much you look like you're suffering?
I dont want more compassion or sympathy just the normal amount.
If someone has the time, or can relate please DM me. I'm thinking about exploring autism but I feel quite hopeless.

My boyfriend(28M) and I(26F) have been dating for 5 years and we've lived together for over a year. I'm worried that because we are around each other all the time, the romantic element has faded and I'm struggling to feel loved/special to him. He was once markedly more excited by me and I've started to really feel taken for-granted in the relationship, but I can't tell if I'm just being too demanding/needing too much right now.
Besides the typical sentiments in heterosexual relationships where I feel like I do most of the cleaning, etc., I've also planned really cute/well thought-out dates for us (catered specifically to HIS interests) and I feel like he doesn't do the same in return. Honestly, I don't know when the last time was that he planned literally anything for us was, and I don't know if he has ever planned a single date for us outside of going to dinner. Is it too high of an expectation to want more? To him, a date means going out to get drinks or dinner, but this doesn't feel romantic or special to me anymore. I've given him plenty of very specific date ideas that would mean a lot to ME (I don't 'take him out' on these dates, because these ideas are catered to my specific interests, not his), but he hasn't taken the bait on a single idea. In general, I feels like he puts almost no effort into caring about my interests, even though I always participate in his, which in turn makes me feel like he is not truly interested in me? But am I taking that too personally?
When we do go out to dinner, I'll usually get all dolled up and I feel really confident/pretty, and what can I say, I expect to be hyped up by my partner and I just feel like I'm not. Last time we went on a date I got dolled up and he did too. He saw me and told me "You look nice" and then he decided to dress down to a more casual outfit... I didn't know how to interpret that... and I ended up feeling insecure for the rest of the date. In general, one of my biggest love languages (for receiving) is words of affirmation and he is not a man of many words so I really struggle with this aspect. I've told him that one of the easiest ways to be romantic and make me feel special, without needing to plan out a date or anything, would be to write me a cute love letter. He has written me maybe 1 love letter ever, but I had to beg for it so it didn't feel genuine and I can't help but want some more genuine/spontaneous displays of affection. As I write this I'm even questioning, why am I so obsessed with feeling this "special"? Am I asking too much? I just feel like he should be trying to make me feel special the way I know I try with him? For example, on his birthday I spent hours baking and then setting up our apartment overnight with streamers and balloons to make him feel loved and celebrated, yet on mine, he complained about doing things he didn't want to do and gave me a bday card with a couple sentences on it (even though, as I've established, I want a whole love letter haha).
Even when we make love, I want it to truly feel like making love. I want him to make me feel hot, sexy, wanted, and I want it to feel like he is trying to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for us both. Without getting too detailed, he will actually try to make me come maybe 20% of the time. The rest of the time, it's usually just a quickie centered around him, he might go down on me but not for long lol.
I've talked to him about all of this for months and he always acts super sympathetic and loving, he says loves me he will try, but I don't ever actually see any effort being put in even though he's been saying so for months? Is there anything else I can do at this point, or any way I can better express myself? I'm hoping this all makes sense... but basically I've really started to doubt my own expectations and whether I'm the problem in this situation.
TLDR; the romantic element of our relationship has faded from his side, causing me not to feel loved, and he is not showing any real effort to fix anything even though he keeps saying he'll 'try'...nothing changes. I've been trying to take the lead on these efforts to show him an example of what I want. How would you dial up the romance in a relationship? Are my wants reasonable or do I just need therapy?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
jonathan
jonathan bailey
jonathan kuminga stats
jonathan adler
jonathan and jesus
jonathan antoine wife
jonathan adams movies and tv shows
about jonathan swift
adler jonathan
a jonathan grave thriller
antoine jonathan
about jonathan roumie
anderson jonathan
about jonathan edwards
allen jonathan
about jonathan cahn
jonathan banks movies and tv shows
jonathan bennett movies
jonathan brandis movies and tv shows
jonathan bailey met gala
beautiful day jonathan roy
bridgerton jonathan bailey
brandis jonathan
beverly hills cop jonathan banks
bible david and jonathan
bgmi jonathan id
bernier jonathan
be jonathan livingston seagull
banks jonathan
books by jonathan haidt
jonathan cainer
charlotte and jonathan
chef jonathan whitener
colts jonathan taylor
cast of jonathan creek
crossroads jonathan franzen
creed 3 jonathan majors
creed jonathan majors
cahn jonathan
conricus jonathan
crombie jonathan
jonathan davino age
jonathan diller
jonathan davino net worth
dax shepard jonathan van ness
drew and jonathan scott
drew and jonathan
david jonathan
david and jonathan in the bible
don leo jonathan
david and jonathan friendship
davino jonathan
demme jonathan
diller jonathan
jonathan edwards resolutions
ellie and jonathan mafs
emma duncan jonathan majors
escape to the dream jonathan parents
eagles jonathan taylor
esther jonathan chant mp3 download
emily blunt jonathan ross
ellen chung jonathan gerrish
edwards jonathan
equerry jonathan thompson
elvis jonathan rhys meyers
jonathan frakes movies and tv shows
jonathan freeman movies and tv shows
jonathan f. mitchell
jonathan frakes net worth
freedom jonathan franzen
funeral for jonathan diller
franzen jonathan
film jonathan cohen
frozen jonathan groff
fantasy jonathan taylor
friendship of david and jonathan
feliz cumpleaños jonathan
fifa 23 jonathan david
foer jonathan safran
jonathan groff movies and tv shows
jonathan glazer oscar speech
jonathan glazer movies
jonathan glazer speech
goodluck jonathan
grace jabbari jonathan majors
glazer jonathan
general marcus jonathan
glee jonathan groff
gremlins jonathan banks
groff jonathan
greenblatt jonathan
gray jonathan
gilbert jonathan
jonathan hoffman sandra layne
jonathan hyde movies and tv shows
jonathan haidt books
haidt jonathan
haggerty jonathan
hatami jonathan
huberdeau jonathan
how much is jonathan d shoes
height of jonathan kuminga
how much is jonathan owens net worth
how much is jonathan d
hickman jonathan
how much is jonathan majors net worth
jonathan isaac stats
jonathan isaac shoes
jonathan india stats
jonathan isaac contract
jonathan isaac wife
jonathan in spanish
isaac jonathan
is jonathan bailey
india jonathan
is jonathan majors
i jonathan vinyl
it jonathan brandis
is jonathan bennett
is jonathan roumie
is jonathan taylor thomas
jonathan joestar
jonathan jossel
jonathan jackson wife
jesus and jonathan
james jonathan
jonathan jonathan mp3 download
jonathan butler jonathan butler songs
jonathan richman i jonathan
joseph jonathan
jones jonathan
jonathan edwards jonathan edwards
joestar jonathan
jackson jonathan
kingsley jonathan
korn jonathan davis
kang the conqueror jonathan majors
kim and jonathan
kuminga jonathan
kellerman jonathan
keeping me alive jonathan roy
korean jonathan
king jonathan
kellerman jonathan books in order
jonathan lipnicki movies
jonathan lawson
jonathan lewis
loki jonathan majors
lekkerimäki jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis
lethem jonathan
lipnicki jonathan
lehrer jonathan
lapaglia jonathan
larson jonathan
lemire jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis video
jonathan majors movies and tv shows
jonathan majors wife
jonathan majors net worth
jonathan majors girlfriend
meagan good and jonathan majors
michael jonathan peterson
major jonathan thompson
myles jonathan brando
majors jonathan
mr norrell and jonathan strange
mingo jonathan
marchessault jonathan
movies with jonathan majors
mcreynolds jonathan
jonathan name meaning
jonathan nolan movies and tv shows
jonathan nolan fallout
jonathan nyce
jonathan name
nypd jonathan diller
nancy and jonathan
news on jonathan taylor
name jonathan
name jonathan meaning
net worth of jonathan gaming
nelson jonathan
nolan jonathan
nelson jonathan i believe download mp3
net worth of jonathan owens
jonathan owens net worth
jonathan owens height
jonathan owens stats
jonathan owens simone biles
jonathan owens contract
jonathan owens wife
officer jonathan diller
oregon state jonathan smith
one piece jonathan
owens jonathan
opera singer jonathan
open letter jonathan glazer
osorio jonathan
ogden jonathan
order of jonathan cahn books
oscars jonathan glazer
jonathan pryce movies and tv shows
jonathan pangborn
police officer jonathan diller
patience jonathan
purity jonathan franzen
packers jonathan owens
pollard jonathan
pageau jonathan
producer jonathan wang
panzo jonathan
pryce jonathan
prince jonathan
jonathan quick stats
jonathan queer eye husband
jonathan quick trade
johnathan quiles
jonathan quick age
jonathan quick contract
jonathan queer eye pronouns
queer eye jonathan
queer eye jonathan husband
queer eye jonathan van ness
quick jonathan
quotes from jonathan livingston seagull
queen of the damned jonathan davis
que significa jonathan
queer eye jonathan hiv
queer eye jonathan pronouns
quotes by jonathan edwards
jonathan roumie movies and tv shows
jonathan roumie commencement speech
jonathan roumie wife
jonathan roumie net worth
jonathan roumie religion
rabbi jonathan sacks
reddit jonathan majors
rea jonathan
roumie jonathan
restaurant jonathan
resolutions of jonathan edwards
rowe jonathan
real name of jonathan
rhys jonathan
ross jonathan
jonathan simkhai
jonathan sadowski movies and tv shows
jonathan schmitz
sydney sweeney jonathan davino
stranger things jonathan
swift jonathan
seagull jonathan livingston
scott jonathan
stroud jonathan
schoop jonathan
stats jonathan huberdeau
shuttlesworth jonathan
sacks jonathan
jonathan taylor thomas movies and tv shows
jonathan the tortoise
jonathan tucker movies and tv shows
the jonathan ross show
the jonathan club
taylor jonathan
toews jonathan
turley jonathan
the meaning of jonathan
triple jump jonathan edwards
trade for jonathan taylor
t jonathan osgood
the seagull jonathan livingston
jonathan urban dictionary
jonathan uconn
jonathan uhr
jonathan uso
jonathan uhr obituary
jonathan upchurch
unitus jonathan isaac
unitus jonathan isaac website
unitus shoes jonathan isaac
update on jonathan taylor
update on jonathan majors
ultimate spider man jonathan hickman
unravel jonathan young lyrics
urban dictionary jonathan
under the skin jonathan glazer
uconn husky jonathan
jonathan van ness husband
jonathan van ness pronouns
jonathan van ness tour
jonathan van ness net worth
vice admiral jonathan
victoria aitken jonathan aitken
video of jonathan lewis
video of jonathan majors
vikings jonathan rhys meyers
viscount clive jonathan herbert
virgo jonathan cainer
vampyr jonathan reid
variety jonathan glazer
victoria and jonathan amazing race
who is jonathan majors
who is jonathan majors girlfriend
who is jonathan owens
who is jonathan davino
where is jonathan kuminga from
where is jonathan toews
who is jonathan roumie
who is jonathan van ness
who is jonathan bailey
who is jonathan glazer
jonathan xv
jonathan x steve
jonathan xiong
jonathan xie
jonathan x argyle
jonathan x damian
jonathan xiv
jonathan x speedwagon
jonathan x nancy
x-men jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus
x factor jonathan and charlotte
x factor jonathan
xanax jonathan adler
x-men by jonathan hickman vol. 1
xqf paraboy vs jonathan
xanax pillow jonathan adler
x-men inferno jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus review
jonathan yudelman
jonathan yudelman asu
jonathan yudelman rate my professor
jonathan yudelman video
jonathan yudelman reddit
jonathan y rugs
youtube jonathan cahn
young jonathan banks
young jonathan davis
youtube jonathan pie
young jonathan majors
young jonathan taylor thomas
you'll be back jonathan groff
your world jonathan mcreynolds
young jonathan groff
yiombi jonathan
jonathan zallez
jonathan zeizel
jonathan zucker
jonathan zambrano
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott
zooey deschanel jonathan scott split
zack moss or jonathan taylor
zooey and jonathan
zooey deschanel husband jonathan scott
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott married
zooey deschanel jonathan scott baby
zone of interest jonathan glazer
zebulon police chief jonathan hemphill
zoe jonathan wolf
jonathan 007 smith
jonathan 0705
jonathan 0301
jonathan_00
jonathan_0934
jonathan_01
jon 0201
jon-0304jc
jonathan pryce 007
jonathan plots the graph of the equation y=0.5x3−4
jonathan rivera 04
jonathan hunt 007
jonathan's condominiums hampton nh 03842
jonathan rivera 04 tiktok
jonathan a physician earns $200 000
jonathan young 10 000 light years lyrics
jonathan bailey 007
scp 001 jonathan ball
jonathan 15
jonathan 14
jonathan 13
jonathan 192 tortoise
jonathan 1 9
jonathan 191 year old tortoise
jonathan 16
jonathan 12 uconn
1800 jonathan way reston va
1996 jonathan taylor thomas calendar
10 facts about jonathan swift
10 jonathan street warners bay
12 jonathan lane sandwich ma
107 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
1287 jonathan lane wantagh ny
1 samuel david and jonathan
13 jonathan court warwick ny
13 stories jonathan sims
jonathan 2016 cast
jonathan 2013
jonathan 2013 short movie
jonathan 2018 videos
jonathan 2013 short film
jonathan 2 finger control code bgmi
24/7 jonathan crary
2023 jonathan taylor thomas
2/22 jonathan street warners bay
238 jonathan road new canaan
2021 jonathan taylor stats
2021 jonathan taylor fantasy
21 days jonathan roy
2024 horoscope jonathan cainer
247 jonathan paylor
247 jonathan daniels
jonathan 30 rock
jonathan 3 on 1 fight
jonathan 30 rock reddit
jonathan 3 16
jonathan 30 rock season 6
jonathan 3x sensitivity
jonathan 350r
jonathan's 3rd avenue
30 rock jonathan
36 questions jonathan groff
30/90 jonathan larson
3626 jonathan circle augusta ga
3534 jonathan cir
32 jonathan circle merrimack nh
378 jonathan street london
3333 jonathan rd oxford mi
3350 jonathan edwards circle shreveport la
3437 jonathan circle
jonathan 49ers
jonathan 42 survivor
jonathan 494
jonathan 49ers cheerleader
jonathan 4k wallpaper
jonathan 4 finger claw code
jonathan 4k image
jonathan 4x sensitivity
48 jonathan drive east hampton
48 hours jonathan vigliotti
4am jonathan dorf
48 jonathan st greystanes
48 hours jonathan banks
4006 jonathan st waterloo ia
4449 jonathan lane beamsville
4a jonathan street warners bay
4696 jonathan creek road
417 jonathan street hagerstown md
jonathan 5 bullets
jonathan 550 children
jonathan 550 kids
jonathan 550
jonathan 5 goli
jonathan 50 first dates
jonathan 5 star astd
jonathan 550 child
jonathan 50 first dates trans
5 facts about jonathan edwards
5 facts about jonathan swift
5 gifts jonathan gave david
56 jonathan drive mahopac ny
50 cent jonathan ross show
55 jonathan st hagerstown md
50 first dates jonathan
5309 jonathan ct
5137 jonathan
5/19 jonathan street greystanes
jonathan 6 star astd
jonathan 6x sensitivity
6 jonathan court brown hill
611 jonathan hoffman rd
6 jonathan court barrie
68 jonathan street eleebana
616 jonathan glen way
6616 jonathan dearborn mi
603 jonathan lane marlton nj
6a jonathan close coffs harbour
6 red jonathan ct
684 jonathan road hannibal mo
6595 jonathan st pfafftown
600 jonathan hoffman rd
jonathan 70s on 7
jonathan 7 lives of lea
jonathan 7 star astd
john 7
7 jonathan street warners bay
7 jonathan street upper coomera
716 jonathan hoffman rd
73 jonathan lane ontario ny
7986 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
70 resolutions of jonathan edwards
7th avenue jonathan butler
7 lives of lea jonathan
73 jonathan drive manahawkin nj
7434 jonathan drive niagara falls
714 jonathan st athens tx
7413 jonathan drive
jonathan 8n spanish
jon 8 out of 10 cats
86 jonathan lucas st
john 8
818 jonathan way kingsport tn
83 jonathan street eleebana
8 jonathan rd burlington ma
jon 85 south show
89 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
882 jonathan way altamonte springs
8075 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
80s jonathan sceats glasses
8/26 jonathan avenue burwood east
8027 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
8 jonathan court
jonathan 90 day fiance
jonathan 90 day fiance wife
jonathan 90 day fiance reddit
jonathan 90210
jonathan 90 day fiance ethnicity
jonathan 90 day fiance wife instagram
jonathan 90s
jonathan 90 day fiance baby
jonathan 90 day fiancé new wife
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan
90 day fiance jonathan
96 jonathan lucas st
90s jonathan davis
90s jonathan taylor thomas
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan reddit
90 day fiance jonathan and fernanda instagram
97 jonathan lucas street
99 jonathan lucas street
90s jonathan brandis

How to move forward with this relationship if I'm not comfortable with his girl bestfriend, breakup or not? (weird situation during first date)
I had the biggest crush on this guy since 2018 but I never confessed. In 2020 he dated his ex so I was forced to cut contact and I moved on.
I dated my ex (first boyfriend) from May 2021, and this current guy got cheated on in December 2021, I got cheated on by my ex December 2022. I reconnected with him in March 2023, fell for him again, confessed in June 2023.
He confessed that he liked me in 2018, but he moved on in 2019 because he thought I didn't like him back. We fell for each other but didn't make it official though we acted like a couple because I was healing and I was honest about it. I started wanting commitment by February 2024.
In April 2024 he confessed that he had feelings for his girl bestfriend throughout 2022 because she was there for him after his breakup. However I wasn't comfortable as he didn't give me commitment because of him healing from her, he didn't confess it earlier. He told me they cut contact.
Today we had our first date (meeting for the first time, when we were friends we never met each other), we were being all cuddly and I saw a text message from the girl bestfriend he claimed that he blocked. She said "How was the date?" . Then he told me that his friends told her we went on a date. I saw her text and it crushed me. I have been cheated on before and I need a lot of reassurance and emotional security or I won't handle it well. I cried about it to him and he immediately blocked her. He showed me the chat that there was no flirting involved.
He paid for the date, he travelled a long way (12 hours) to meet me, he dropped me, he was sick, he did everything, and then this. Also he's been putting in a lot of effort since July 2023.
20 minutes after the date I was crying at home because his girl bestfriend texted him, but he promised me he's focused on me, he told me loves me and asked me out, we made the relationship official.
All I know is that he is 1000% better than my ex. For some context, I dated my ex from May 2021-December 2022. It was my first relationship and an extremely toxic one. He cheated multiple times, lied about everything, crossed my physical boundaries on a daily basis, talked down on me, controlled me and isolated me. There were 127 red flags and I was severely trauma bonded. We broke up and got back together over 18 times in a year.
So compared to that, this feels like heaven, this guy replies to every part of the paragraph, there's genuine changed behaviour everytime I bring up something I'm uncomfortable with ever since last year.
Now that's it's an official relationship, I am not comfortable with his girl bestfriend. He said they never talk, he forgot to block her on snap and now he did. But I feel something so uneasy.

I had the biggest crush on this guy since 2018 but I never confessed. In 2020 he dated his ex so I was forced to cut contact and I moved on.
I dated my ex (first boyfriend) from May 2021, and this current guy got cheated on in December 2021, I got cheated on by my ex December 2022. I reconnected with him in March 2023, fell for him again, confessed in June 2023.
He confessed that he liked me in 2018, but he moved on in 2019 because he thought I didn't like him back. We fell for each other but didn't make it official though we acted like a couple because I was healing and I was honest about it. I started wanting commitment by February 2024.
In April 2024 he confessed that he had feelings for his girl bestfriend throughout 2022 because she was there for him after his breakup. However I wasn't comfortable as he didn't give me commitment because of him healing from her, he didn't confess it earlier. He told me they cut contact.
Today we had our first date (meeting for the first time, when we were friends we never met each other), we were being all cuddly and I saw a text message from the girl bestfriend he claimed that he blocked. She said "How was the date?" . Then he told me that his friends told her we went on a date. I saw her text and it crushed me. I have been cheated on before and I need a lot of reassurance and emotional security or I won't handle it well. I cried about it to him and he immediately blocked her. He showed me the chat that there was no flirting involved.
He paid for the date, he travelled a long way (12 hours) to meet me, he dropped me, he was sick, he did everything, and then this. Also he's been putting in a lot of effort since July 2023.
20 minutes after the date I was crying at home because his girl bestfriend texted him, but he promised me he's focused on me, he told me loves me and asked me out, we made the relationship official.
All I know is that he is 1000% better than my ex. For some context, I dated my ex from May 2021-December 2022. It was my first relationship and an extremely toxic one. He cheated multiple times, lied about everything, crossed my physical boundaries on a daily basis, talked down on me, controlled me and isolated me. There were 127 red flags and I was severely trauma bonded. We broke up and got back together over 18 times in a year.
So compared to that, this feels like heaven, this guy replies to every part of the paragraph, there's genuine changed behaviour everytime I bring up something I'm uncomfortable with ever since last year.
Now that's it's an official relationship, I am not comfortable with his girl bestfriend. He said they never talk, he forgot to block her on snap and now he did. But I feel something so uneasy.

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago while he was on vacation and I live with him until I move out at the end of this week. He’s supposed to come back from tomorrow and I keyed his dashboard after the breakup (nothing insane just a few words). Some of my friends say I should fix it, some of my friends say leave it as is. Should I fix it or leave it?
For context (if it matters): we broke up do to poor communication, because I kept asking him “who,what,when,where,why”, because he didn’t bother to mention he was staying with his ex and some friends at an Airbnb. He’s also in the Navy.

Originally chronicled here.
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT

tldr; Logically, I understand everything. Emotionally, I am still furious and hurt. How can I decrease emotional pain, understanding that I might not be able to fully eliminate it?
I've gone hermit-mode from dating since my (m) ex (f) broke up with me 18 months ago. The extent of my romance has been a couple Bumble dates and casual workplace flirting. My ex moved on immediately (literally the day after) like nothing happened and eventually found a new boyfriend a few months later. She appeared very happy on social media. Our relationship only lasted 9 months, but felt deep, sincere, and intimate. She was my first relationship, and I was her third. The love was mutual.
She broke up with me on Christmas about 10 minutes after opening my gift, which was a thoughtful picture scrapbook of our adventures together. We had been rocky a couple months prior, as I had been expressing concerns about her poor communication and distancing. I spent months balancing the impossible task of giving her enough space but not allowing my needs to go unmet (personal boundaries). I even broke up with her for a week before getting back together. Everything was perfect the first 7ish months btw. She always wanted to come over, stay late, and spend time with me. She would buy me thoughtful gifts out of the blue, etc. That slowly went away.
Since discovering attachment theory, post-breakup, I can clearly explain the intricacies of everything that happened and why, stemming from her childhood and mine. I've read multiple books and watched countless videos. She was a strong dismissive avoidant and I am a preoccupied anxious.
I've had no contact with her since our breakup. A few months ago, I blocked her phone number and deleted all my social media. It gave me a little power back.
However, there are many nights when I'm alone that I think back on the ways she hurt me. I ask myself questions like: "did she actually love me, or just the idea of me?;" "what did it mean when she did this... ;" "how can you move on to another man if I was such a perfect boyfriend?"; "why'd you never reach out to try again; "was it your ego?," etc.
I consider myself a very good judge of character, and objectively I continually gave her the benefit of the doubt when she said she wasn't hurting me intentionally. She never did anything outright malicious, either. No name calling, nothing. Slowly she became distance and flakey. Near the end of our relationship, we had gone two weeks without hanging out, and when I brought it up, she said she didn't notice. Less time together and more excuses.
I've had time to understand my own anxious tendencies, many of which I apologized for regularly during our relationship. I communicated my insecurities in a mature manner. I wasn't perfect, but I owned up to a majority's stake and will do better in my next relationship. I met her halfway, but she didn't (or couldn't) meet me. Although I'd consider myself preoccupied anxious, I lean more secure than her, and was never overbearing or clingy. I never over texted, etc. I internalized most of my frustrations and continually second guessed myself.
When I think of the ways "I was wronged," the feelings that come up are anger, vengefulness, and jealousy. She would often tell me "I don't deserve you" and "you are the best boyfriend I ever had." It sounded sincere and probably was. We never had a shouting match nor did either of us have outbursts. Despite my blood boiling on the inside, I would do my absolute best to come across calm and collected. Occasionally, I'll think back to certain memories and they'll keep me up late at night. I can feel my heartrate increase. I get furious. She doesn't have a solitary idea (not even 1%) how much she hurt me. She probably thinks I'm doing just fine and did me a favor by breaking up with me. It's totally twisted, like living in two different realities.
I find it so cliche and cringe when someone can't get past their first love. They'd rather take their spite to the grave than get up and try again. My ex doesn't deserve this much real-estate in my brain, and it's not fair to me. I'm okay with having a scar, but it shouldn't be a full on open wound. It was only a 9 month relationship for God's sake.
Outside of this relationship, I've had plenty of success with women and don't have issues dating or being romantic. It's not for a lack of options, but rather this emotional trauma has been holding me back. Any advice is welcome.
Thank you for listening. I appreciate it.

My bf (23 M) and myself (22 F) have been together for a little over a year and a half. When I tell you I absolutely love this man to death and I love him for exactly who he is I mean it, but we have had some really rough times for the past year. After about 4 months of dating he opened up to me about some disturbing thoughts he has. I knew that the average person doesn’t think about that stuff but I didn’t judge him for his feelings and made sure he knew that I would always be there for him. I became a safe space for him and he started opening up to me more about these thoughts he had. I started doing research because I became worried about him and wanted to know how I could help him more than just listening. I also wanted to understand more about him. I found out he has OCD, and before anyone says that’s not OCD, and that OCD is being anal about keeping things neat and organized ( that’s called obsessive compulsive personality) the true definition and behavior of OCD are intrusive thoughts caused by anxiety and based on fears. OCD can vary through people and looks different in individuals but for my boyfriend they are intrusive thoughts.
Now onto the part where I am struggling. So for about a year now he’s been very open about his thoughts and feelings and a lot of his intrusive thoughts have to do with me. At first I didn’t understand so just a warning y’all may be like WTF because when he told me the thoughts he has about me I couldn’t believe it but after some time of understanding what OCD is I have more empathy towards people with OCD and I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like. So I am sorry to anyone who struggles with OCD because it truly is torture. The intrusive thoughts that have to do with me and our relationships consists of him hyper fixating on my impurities and flaws and his mind tortures him about them. He doesn’t want to have OCD and he doesn’t want to have these thoughts about me but his mind makes him. He also lusts over woman, not the head turning kind but he pictures himself with them and pictures what it would be like to have sex with them. He compares me to them and then it’s a constant cycle that loops. Half the time he questions if he should be with me because his thoughts tell him he should be with someone else and the other half of the time he wants to marry me and only sees me as the woman for him- meaning he doesn’t lust over other woman or question our relationship. I know that may sound cheesy but there are glimpses in our relationship where his OCD temporarily subsides and our relationship is wonderful. I feel quilty because at first I had a lot of patience with him, I always let him know I was there to help him and told him that I would be right there every step of the way when he decided to get help because I assumed he’d want help eventually. His OCD has caused him depression as well which I read happens to most individuals with OCD. At first he was very closed off to getting help and over time he became more inclined to get help so he saw a therapist for about a month and then he stopped. There was nothing wrong with the therapist it wasn’t helping him improve it was more of an outlet to get things off his chest. So he gave up on getting help for a while and then he asked if I could help him find someone else that would help him so he ended up going to a psychotherapist. He was awesome and he really gave my boyfriend hope that he’d get better. But then my boyfriend and I went through a really rough patch, he broke up with me and he stopped seeing his psychotherapist. About a month and a half later we got back together because he said he knew he didn’t want to lose me and that month and a half without me was miserable for him, he said he missed me and i’m the only woman he wants. Fast forward to now he only went to that psychotherapist one more time before deciding he could now figure things out on his own since his psychotherapist gave him lots of tips and ways to cope. Of course I didn’t think that was a good idea but I voiced to him that I supported his decision, trusted him and we could take it one day at a time together. It’s been about 6 months now and things have gotten worse. I am constantly in fight or flight because I don’t know when he’s going to feel like breaking up with me. I have gained about 15-20 lbs from all the stress, my mental health is declining, and i’m now second guessing whether we should be together anymore even though I love him so dearly and I would do anything for this man. We’ve had many fights about him getting help to get better. I’ve asked him why he doesn’t want to and he says he doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to. I’ve expressed how it’s affecting me for about 6 months now and he still is not open to it, it’s not an option for him. His mom and grandma are aware of his OCD and they’ve offered to help him as well and support him. He turns it down every time.
I’m at the end here. I am so hurt and frustrated and I can’t imagine breaking up with him but i don’t know what else to do. I’m afraid I may just need to move on from this relationship. If anyone out there who’s reading this and suffers from OCD or knows someone who does I want to know if you’ve gotten help or they have and what was that experience like? Did you or they ever at a time not want help and why? Is it a fear?
I know that was a lot so thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. All advice is appreciated

My older GC sister usually refers to her relationship with our nmom as the same as mine, but we have lived completely different lives. And although I’m aware some GC don’t want to be the GC, some of them are happy where they are placed. My GC sister was always put above everyone else. She got presents on my birthdays even though I’m two years younger than her, and when I reached milestone ages that my sister had, no one had noticed or cared. I was on punishment for something but really they just didn’t want me to get the same things she had. She got a phone before all of us, and at Christmas her and my gc little brother would get a lot of presents and exactly what they wanted! I wrote down a simple list like socks and crafting stuff. I got Hannah Montana jewelry and a stuff animal, at 12. My GC sister now calls or texts me if she needs supply or to complain about our nmom and see if I’ll say anything so she can report it back. I’m 25f and my sister 27f will call all of my family and say I’m being mean to her if I don’t want to talk to her? Her idea of talking is trauma dumping on me while I babysit or clean her house. Other than that I do not exist. My nmom kicked me out at 16 and my sister uses this information like it’s her life story? She kinda treats our mother like I do, but they actually have a relationship that hasn’t ever been tarnished so it’s really weird. My nmom has physically assaulted me multiple times as well as my GC sister but anything I say that’s valid will go right over her head. She just texted me yesterday saying she wishes I was there so I could her laundry. And then for Mother’s Day she said “I’m basically like your mom because you don’t have one.” Lol just cause I don’t have one doesn’t mean that you’re my mother?? I think she does this because I raised my GC little brother (16m) obviously not willingly but I feel like she only talks to me to try and pretend my life is hers. She came to my new apartment last month and she couldn’t even sound happy for me. Her words were nice, but you could tell she had to spit them out. Then she left shortly after that. I just hate that she has hated me my whole life, physically and emotionally abused me, helped my nmom abuse me as well as my ngma, used me to raise her kids, and uses them to get to me emotionally, and then she tries to pretend like she’s nice? “Good vibes only.” Kinda person. She gets mad I don’t want to talk to her and now that we are adults no one can force me to and it feels good. She made my 25th birthday all about her. And every 3 months she picks a fight with me, that’s how bad and predictable she’s getting. I’m just waiting until June so she can make up something to be offended at so she can delete me and send me nasty messages so that I will send her my letter that says until she can apologize and change her behavior, there’s no relationship for us. We have never had a relationship we here we have enjoyed being around each other. She was always fighting with me and all I ever wanted was to be her friend. Now she has no friends and wants me to be waiting for her like I did when we were kids. I protected her every chance I got and she sold me out and told lies about me. She tells people I’m mean and difficult and then her friends beg up liking me and act shocked. “You don’t know the real her.” You mean the one you bullied for years and then let your boyfriend physically and sexually assault? Then you made me raise your kids, while slandering my name, and you think I like you or even want a thing to do with you? I was self harming and started to make fun of me. She told all my family. Yeah I don’t love you sister. We are from the same litter but not the same pack.

I (26) used to date a girl (25) in high school. She was my first real love, it ended poorly, but a couple years after we graduated (and I had a rough breakup with a different girl), she hit me up to make amends. She even came back to my town to visit me. I wasn’t in a good state of mind, I was very depressed, and I think this drove her away from me again.
During that time, she said I was the best boyfriend she’s ever had, that if “we were single still by 30, we’ll get married” and that she “wanted to be with me eventually” when I confessed my still-lingering feelings. Then, we stopped going on dates/hangouts and she kinda disappeared. She ended up leaving the state without saying goodbye to me, and ended up in a relationship with someone else shortly after.
In spite of all of that, last summer she hit me up at 2am asking if I “was still around”. I left her on delivered for a week, too scared to answer her. I was really crushed she had left again and it would hurt me to answer her again. But I did. She caught me up on her life, and all she’s doing, and I got so sad I straight up told her I don’t think I could talk to her anymore. Especially given our history, my feelings, and the fact that she’s got a bf. She told me she didn’t know I had feelings for her. Which confused the hell out of me. But she respected it and the conversation stopped.
Again, this was last summer, but honestly I cannot keep her out of my head. I drown in her words so often that lately it feels like my chest is going to burst if I think about her. And lately, I can’t stop. I don’t want her back, I just want closure.
I wrote out a message to send to her, basically apologizing for my depressive state the last time I saw her. The time she cried and hugged me when she saw my kitchen and damn near forced herself on my sink when she saw how dirty the dishes were. Im in a better place now, and I’m figuring out life. I didn’t write any of that in the letter. I’m not asking her to come back. I’m not trying to prove to her that I’m “better now”. I didn’t allude to anything other than she’s my first love, so I’m sorry that I can’t talk to her the way she wants. She clearly wants to be friends, but it kills me inside. I want closure, I want to tell her I’ll never forget her and I’m sorry I pushed her away when she texted me, but my feelings are just too strong. If anyone wants to read the message, I’ll DM.
I’m not trying to get between her and her BF. I just want to get it off of my chest, because I don’t really talk about anything anymore and I feel like this one feeling is justified. And I think I’d feel better if I got it out. I just want her to know. Even if she reads it and doesn’t reply, it wouldn’t matter to me. I’ve been trying to move on for years. Meeting other girls, but she’s always in the back of my mind.
But is it appropriate? She’s got a bf still, but she also wrote a long heartfelt message to me when I had a gf, that my gf ended up deleting from my phone before I even saw.
I just need to get it off of my chest. My soul literally burns to talk to her again. Every single time there’s peace, I forget about her, she ALWAYS texts me randomly like once every year or two and it fucks me up. Because I truly love her. But whatever, what does Reddit think?

In July of 2022, my house was broken into. Shortly after that happening my wifes mother purchased a security camera kit for the home. I couldn't afford it on my own because of there being just my income and the wife refused to work. Now that we are in the process of divorce and she no longer lives at the house(she has lived with her boyfriend for the past 5 months now while still being legally married to me). She is now threatening to remove the cameras from the property saying they belong to her mother because I have changed the passwords and eliminatedher access to them. She has given me until the end of the week to give her access back or she'll take them. I have been paying the monthly service subscription since July of 2022. Can she legally take them down and remove them from the property?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
jonathan
jonathan bailey
jonathan kuminga stats
jonathan adler
jonathan and jesus
jonathan antoine wife
jonathan adams movies and tv shows
about jonathan swift
adler jonathan
a jonathan grave thriller
antoine jonathan
about jonathan roumie
anderson jonathan
about jonathan edwards
allen jonathan
about jonathan cahn
jonathan banks movies and tv shows
jonathan bennett movies
jonathan brandis movies and tv shows
jonathan bailey met gala
beautiful day jonathan roy
bridgerton jonathan bailey
brandis jonathan
beverly hills cop jonathan banks
bible david and jonathan
bgmi jonathan id
bernier jonathan
be jonathan livingston seagull
banks jonathan
books by jonathan haidt
jonathan cainer
charlotte and jonathan
chef jonathan whitener
colts jonathan taylor
cast of jonathan creek
crossroads jonathan franzen
creed 3 jonathan majors
creed jonathan majors
cahn jonathan
conricus jonathan
crombie jonathan
jonathan davino age
jonathan diller
jonathan davino net worth
dax shepard jonathan van ness
drew and jonathan scott
drew and jonathan
david jonathan
david and jonathan in the bible
don leo jonathan
david and jonathan friendship
davino jonathan
demme jonathan
diller jonathan
jonathan edwards resolutions
ellie and jonathan mafs
emma duncan jonathan majors
escape to the dream jonathan parents
eagles jonathan taylor
esther jonathan chant mp3 download
emily blunt jonathan ross
ellen chung jonathan gerrish
edwards jonathan
equerry jonathan thompson
elvis jonathan rhys meyers
jonathan frakes movies and tv shows
jonathan freeman movies and tv shows
jonathan f. mitchell
jonathan frakes net worth
freedom jonathan franzen
funeral for jonathan diller
franzen jonathan
film jonathan cohen
frozen jonathan groff
fantasy jonathan taylor
friendship of david and jonathan
feliz cumpleaños jonathan
fifa 23 jonathan david
foer jonathan safran
jonathan groff movies and tv shows
jonathan glazer oscar speech
jonathan glazer movies
jonathan glazer speech
goodluck jonathan
grace jabbari jonathan majors
glazer jonathan
general marcus jonathan
glee jonathan groff
gremlins jonathan banks
groff jonathan
greenblatt jonathan
gray jonathan
gilbert jonathan
jonathan hoffman sandra layne
jonathan hyde movies and tv shows
jonathan haidt books
haidt jonathan
haggerty jonathan
hatami jonathan
huberdeau jonathan
how much is jonathan d shoes
height of jonathan kuminga
how much is jonathan owens net worth
how much is jonathan d
hickman jonathan
how much is jonathan majors net worth
jonathan isaac stats
jonathan isaac shoes
jonathan india stats
jonathan isaac contract
jonathan isaac wife
jonathan in spanish
isaac jonathan
is jonathan bailey
india jonathan
is jonathan majors
i jonathan vinyl
it jonathan brandis
is jonathan bennett
is jonathan roumie
is jonathan taylor thomas
jonathan joestar
jonathan jossel
jonathan jackson wife
jesus and jonathan
james jonathan
jonathan jonathan mp3 download
jonathan butler jonathan butler songs
jonathan richman i jonathan
joseph jonathan
jones jonathan
jonathan edwards jonathan edwards
joestar jonathan
jackson jonathan
kingsley jonathan
korn jonathan davis
kang the conqueror jonathan majors
kim and jonathan
kuminga jonathan
kellerman jonathan
keeping me alive jonathan roy
korean jonathan
king jonathan
kellerman jonathan books in order
jonathan lipnicki movies
jonathan lawson
jonathan lewis
loki jonathan majors
lekkerimäki jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis
lethem jonathan
lipnicki jonathan
lehrer jonathan
lapaglia jonathan
larson jonathan
lemire jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis video
jonathan majors movies and tv shows
jonathan majors wife
jonathan majors net worth
jonathan majors girlfriend
meagan good and jonathan majors
michael jonathan peterson
major jonathan thompson
myles jonathan brando
majors jonathan
mr norrell and jonathan strange
mingo jonathan
marchessault jonathan
movies with jonathan majors
mcreynolds jonathan
jonathan name meaning
jonathan nolan movies and tv shows
jonathan nolan fallout
jonathan nyce
jonathan name
nypd jonathan diller
nancy and jonathan
news on jonathan taylor
name jonathan
name jonathan meaning
net worth of jonathan gaming
nelson jonathan
nolan jonathan
nelson jonathan i believe download mp3
net worth of jonathan owens
jonathan owens net worth
jonathan owens height
jonathan owens stats
jonathan owens simone biles
jonathan owens contract
jonathan owens wife
officer jonathan diller
oregon state jonathan smith
one piece jonathan
owens jonathan
opera singer jonathan
open letter jonathan glazer
osorio jonathan
ogden jonathan
order of jonathan cahn books
oscars jonathan glazer
jonathan pryce movies and tv shows
jonathan pangborn
police officer jonathan diller
patience jonathan
purity jonathan franzen
packers jonathan owens
pollard jonathan
pageau jonathan
producer jonathan wang
panzo jonathan
pryce jonathan
prince jonathan
jonathan quick stats
jonathan queer eye husband
jonathan quick trade
johnathan quiles
jonathan quick age
jonathan quick contract
jonathan queer eye pronouns
queer eye jonathan
queer eye jonathan husband
queer eye jonathan van ness
quick jonathan
quotes from jonathan livingston seagull
queen of the damned jonathan davis
que significa jonathan
queer eye jonathan hiv
queer eye jonathan pronouns
quotes by jonathan edwards
jonathan roumie movies and tv shows
jonathan roumie commencement speech
jonathan roumie wife
jonathan roumie net worth
jonathan roumie religion
rabbi jonathan sacks
reddit jonathan majors
rea jonathan
roumie jonathan
restaurant jonathan
resolutions of jonathan edwards
rowe jonathan
real name of jonathan
rhys jonathan
ross jonathan
jonathan simkhai
jonathan sadowski movies and tv shows
jonathan schmitz
sydney sweeney jonathan davino
stranger things jonathan
swift jonathan
seagull jonathan livingston
scott jonathan
stroud jonathan
schoop jonathan
stats jonathan huberdeau
shuttlesworth jonathan
sacks jonathan
jonathan taylor thomas movies and tv shows
jonathan the tortoise
jonathan tucker movies and tv shows
the jonathan ross show
the jonathan club
taylor jonathan
toews jonathan
turley jonathan
the meaning of jonathan
triple jump jonathan edwards
trade for jonathan taylor
t jonathan osgood
the seagull jonathan livingston
jonathan urban dictionary
jonathan uconn
jonathan uhr
jonathan uso
jonathan uhr obituary
jonathan upchurch
unitus jonathan isaac
unitus jonathan isaac website
unitus shoes jonathan isaac
update on jonathan taylor
update on jonathan majors
ultimate spider man jonathan hickman
unravel jonathan young lyrics
urban dictionary jonathan
under the skin jonathan glazer
uconn husky jonathan
jonathan van ness husband
jonathan van ness pronouns
jonathan van ness tour
jonathan van ness net worth
vice admiral jonathan
victoria aitken jonathan aitken
video of jonathan lewis
video of jonathan majors
vikings jonathan rhys meyers
viscount clive jonathan herbert
virgo jonathan cainer
vampyr jonathan reid
variety jonathan glazer
victoria and jonathan amazing race
who is jonathan majors
who is jonathan majors girlfriend
who is jonathan owens
who is jonathan davino
where is jonathan kuminga from
where is jonathan toews
who is jonathan roumie
who is jonathan van ness
who is jonathan bailey
who is jonathan glazer
jonathan xv
jonathan x steve
jonathan xiong
jonathan xie
jonathan x argyle
jonathan x damian
jonathan xiv
jonathan x speedwagon
jonathan x nancy
x-men jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus
x factor jonathan and charlotte
x factor jonathan
xanax jonathan adler
x-men by jonathan hickman vol. 1
xqf paraboy vs jonathan
xanax pillow jonathan adler
x-men inferno jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus review
jonathan yudelman
jonathan yudelman asu
jonathan yudelman rate my professor
jonathan yudelman video
jonathan yudelman reddit
jonathan y rugs
youtube jonathan cahn
young jonathan banks
young jonathan davis
youtube jonathan pie
young jonathan majors
young jonathan taylor thomas
you'll be back jonathan groff
your world jonathan mcreynolds
young jonathan groff
yiombi jonathan
jonathan zallez
jonathan zeizel
jonathan zucker
jonathan zambrano
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott
zooey deschanel jonathan scott split
zack moss or jonathan taylor
zooey and jonathan
zooey deschanel husband jonathan scott
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott married
zooey deschanel jonathan scott baby
zone of interest jonathan glazer
zebulon police chief jonathan hemphill
zoe jonathan wolf
jonathan 007 smith
jonathan 0705
jonathan 0301
jonathan_00
jonathan_0934
jonathan_01
jon 0201
jon-0304jc
jonathan pryce 007
jonathan plots the graph of the equation y=0.5x3−4
jonathan rivera 04
jonathan hunt 007
jonathan's condominiums hampton nh 03842
jonathan rivera 04 tiktok
jonathan a physician earns $200 000
jonathan young 10 000 light years lyrics
jonathan bailey 007
scp 001 jonathan ball
jonathan 15
jonathan 14
jonathan 13
jonathan 192 tortoise
jonathan 1 9
jonathan 191 year old tortoise
jonathan 16
jonathan 12 uconn
1800 jonathan way reston va
1996 jonathan taylor thomas calendar
10 facts about jonathan swift
10 jonathan street warners bay
12 jonathan lane sandwich ma
107 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
1287 jonathan lane wantagh ny
1 samuel david and jonathan
13 jonathan court warwick ny
13 stories jonathan sims
jonathan 2016 cast
jonathan 2013
jonathan 2013 short movie
jonathan 2018 videos
jonathan 2013 short film
jonathan 2 finger control code bgmi
24/7 jonathan crary
2023 jonathan taylor thomas
2/22 jonathan street warners bay
238 jonathan road new canaan
2021 jonathan taylor stats
2021 jonathan taylor fantasy
21 days jonathan roy
2024 horoscope jonathan cainer
247 jonathan paylor
247 jonathan daniels
jonathan 30 rock
jonathan 3 on 1 fight
jonathan 30 rock reddit
jonathan 3 16
jonathan 30 rock season 6
jonathan 3x sensitivity
jonathan 350r
jonathan's 3rd avenue
30 rock jonathan
36 questions jonathan groff
30/90 jonathan larson
3626 jonathan circle augusta ga
3534 jonathan cir
32 jonathan circle merrimack nh
378 jonathan street london
3333 jonathan rd oxford mi
3350 jonathan edwards circle shreveport la
3437 jonathan circle
jonathan 49ers
jonathan 42 survivor
jonathan 494
jonathan 49ers cheerleader
jonathan 4k wallpaper
jonathan 4 finger claw code
jonathan 4k image
jonathan 4x sensitivity
48 jonathan drive east hampton
48 hours jonathan vigliotti
4am jonathan dorf
48 jonathan st greystanes
48 hours jonathan banks
4006 jonathan st waterloo ia
4449 jonathan lane beamsville
4a jonathan street warners bay
4696 jonathan creek road
417 jonathan street hagerstown md
jonathan 5 bullets
jonathan 550 children
jonathan 550 kids
jonathan 550
jonathan 5 goli
jonathan 50 first dates
jonathan 5 star astd
jonathan 550 child
jonathan 50 first dates trans
5 facts about jonathan edwards
5 facts about jonathan swift
5 gifts jonathan gave david
56 jonathan drive mahopac ny
50 cent jonathan ross show
55 jonathan st hagerstown md
50 first dates jonathan
5309 jonathan ct
5137 jonathan
5/19 jonathan street greystanes
jonathan 6 star astd
jonathan 6x sensitivity
6 jonathan court brown hill
611 jonathan hoffman rd
6 jonathan court barrie
68 jonathan street eleebana
616 jonathan glen way
6616 jonathan dearborn mi
603 jonathan lane marlton nj
6a jonathan close coffs harbour
6 red jonathan ct
684 jonathan road hannibal mo
6595 jonathan st pfafftown
600 jonathan hoffman rd
jonathan 70s on 7
jonathan 7 lives of lea
jonathan 7 star astd
john 7
7 jonathan street warners bay
7 jonathan street upper coomera
716 jonathan hoffman rd
73 jonathan lane ontario ny
7986 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
70 resolutions of jonathan edwards
7th avenue jonathan butler
7 lives of lea jonathan
73 jonathan drive manahawkin nj
7434 jonathan drive niagara falls
714 jonathan st athens tx
7413 jonathan drive
jonathan 8n spanish
jon 8 out of 10 cats
86 jonathan lucas st
john 8
818 jonathan way kingsport tn
83 jonathan street eleebana
8 jonathan rd burlington ma
jon 85 south show
89 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
882 jonathan way altamonte springs
8075 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
80s jonathan sceats glasses
8/26 jonathan avenue burwood east
8027 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
8 jonathan court
jonathan 90 day fiance
jonathan 90 day fiance wife
jonathan 90 day fiance reddit
jonathan 90210
jonathan 90 day fiance ethnicity
jonathan 90 day fiance wife instagram
jonathan 90s
jonathan 90 day fiance baby
jonathan 90 day fiancé new wife
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan
90 day fiance jonathan
96 jonathan lucas st
90s jonathan davis
90s jonathan taylor thomas
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan reddit
90 day fiance jonathan and fernanda instagram
97 jonathan lucas street
99 jonathan lucas street
90s jonathan brandis

I was invited by a couple of friends to go camping a few days ago. I'm honestly still exactly not sure if any of it was real, but I wish to share my story nonetheless. It began last Monday, when friend number Six invited friends One through Five to a girls get away. She claims to have found this beautiful spot in the mountain on one of her hikes and she says it’s perfect for seeing the stars at night. I was skeptical at first, to be honest I don't really like being outdoors, but it sounded like an experience worth having, so I thought "why not, this will be a wonderful memory to look back on!". I had just purchased a new camera as well, so I was honestly starting to warm up to the idea. I could take pictures of our excursion into the woods and make cute little picture frames for everyone for their birthdays, it would've been so cute! But things did not go at all as I had envisioned.
So the day of the trip arrives, a bit faster than I would've liked, but honestly I think I was just anxious about… I kept feeling this weight in my chest that made it uncomfortable to breathe, but I was going into the woods, strange things happen to women in movies; Jason Voorhees, Sasquatch, Shia LaBeouf! Who knows what could happen! Not to mention there is always the chance I could fall into a lake and get covered in leeches, or get surrounded by wolves, or chased up a tree by a bear… Hopefully a very soft bear so I'll at least know one pleasure before I die! There are all sorts of fears I had envisioned before the day of the trip, but anxiety just be like that.
I met up with my friends at the trail and learned that friend Six decided to bring her bf along, which I was upset about but I guess he was just going to get a hotel room nearby so he'd be close enough to her to feasibly show up if we needed any help. She later told us that he worries all the time because his father went missing in these woods years ago and he's worried the same might happen to her. This is where I learned that men tend to stay out of those woods because men have been going missing in those woods for years, but according to friend Six, she's been coming to this forest for a while now and hasn't had any bad experiences. Hearing that did oddly put me at ease, but now all I could wonder at the time was what happened to all those poor men.
Deep into the night we're all chit chatting, talking about where we are in our lives, things that are bugging us, what our hopes are, and dancing to the music of nature… but which of course I mean we got shit drunk, smoked some great wee, talked about sex, laughed over silly anime scenes, and twerked to slipknot girly bops!. It was such a fun night at that point that I honestly wish I could go back and never let that night end. It was intoxicating how beautiful the sky looked, and when gazed up it was almost like we could scoop the stars into our hands and sip from the sea of stars. I was worried we'd just be on our phones all night filming tiktoks or something but even with no signal, no one really seemed to be too stressed about it, we all just kind of felt safe… Almost welcomed into the forest, like being embraced by a loving mother. But unfortunately, heaven isn't forever, and men come not but to steal, kill, and destroy.
As we were drinking we decided to tell some scary stories… or well I decided to because I thought "it's so cliché but we have to do it. It feels like tradition almost." plus I would've regretted it if we didn't do it, so fuck it, right? Right. So we go around telling scary stories to one another, and I mention to friend Six that I keep thinking about those poor men that went missing. I then asked if any women had gone missing, and surprisingly she said yes… it was way back in the 1800's but after that there had never been a single missing woman in that forest. The forest was actually named after the first young woman who went missing all those years back, and now there are all these rumors about it but I don't believe in that stuff so I didn't really pay much attention… I kept thinking "I'll just wait for the manga… or the shitty Hollywood cash grab of it…" but I DO vaguely remember the history cause I find dark history lore to be super fascinating. So there was a time when the area had more indigenous citizens living here, before gentrification moved into town. She went on to tell us that indigenous people eventually began to keep to themselves because as more white people moved in, more of their daughters went missing. There are yearly parades to honor the missing daughters and to spread awareness to those living in the town. The police try to shut it down but they still do it every year.
Not long after hearing that we hear something howl in the distance. Friend Three howls back and friend Five falls on her out of her camping chair laughing. I tell them to knock it off because the last thing we need is for her to accidentally attract a wolf during mating season! I don't know if that’s a thing, but it sounds like something that’s a thing… So I'm just going to assume that it is. Don't judge me. She then says "But what if it's Taylor Lautner? Or Joe Manganiello? Personally… I'm more of a Meatloaf guy myself… But you know… RIP… But Joe is pretty fine and my mom did always hope I'd marry a black man to get melanin back in our family… But I don't think a splash of melanin is gonna override this asian/african skin so… Anyways! So these guys come walking past our camp site, and we're all drunk and high so we're already all on edge upon seeing random men this deep into the forest, but friend Four gets up and says "who the fuck are you and what're you doing here!?" One of the men quickly apologizes and tells us they're actually out here camping as well. They said a friend of theirs found this waterfall in the forest that glows because it captures the moon's light. Friend Two hears this and asks if we can go with them, to which we all begrudgingly agree.
At the "mooncuzi" I like to call it, we all sit around this beautiful natural pool lit up by the moon, and we were worried it would be cold but I was surprisingly warm, if I had to guess I'd assume there's a magma vein under there or something? Idk, I'm not a geologist or volcanologist, but something kept it warm and it wasn't my tiny bladder! Everyone was really relaxed and the guys honestly seemed super cool, and guy One honestly seemed really nice. I call him guy One because he's number 1 to me, we're still together now, and we even have another partner now, so yay! We all began talking and some of us were hitting it off, clearly… but we had all been drinking and smoking more which, honestly we had stopped… but we couldn't pass up the opportunity to get cross-faded in a mooncuzi. Nuh. Nope. Not on my watch. But someone clearly didn't get the vibe memo, because friend Two screams out "bro what the fuck I said no!"
The next thing we hear is "You don't have to yell about it like some kind of cunt!" Everyone runs over to try and figure out what's going on. Turns out guy Five didn't like being told no. He and friend Two were playing a drinking game with friends Three and Four and guy Three and Four. We learned that guy Five dared friend Two to take her top off, to which she said politely refused, and the guys didn't seem to like that. They tried to convince her it's part of the game. One of the guys said she was already in her underwear anyway, so she might as well… My guy, One, and guy Two scolded their friends for their behavior, which is why guy Two and friend Two are married now… Guess nice guys don't finish last, huh? Anyways, They scolded their friends for their behavior, I remember my guy yelling "you never speak to a woman like that!" and "If I ever catch you trying to peer pressure a woman again I'll take your testicals in my hand and squeeze on them slowly until I know what it's like to feel one pop in my hand." and it was honestly the hottest thing I've ever heard a man say… a bit violent… but fuck was I glad I was in the water!
Guys One and Two apologized for their friends' actions the whole way back. I asked them why they remained friends with them and guy One had gone off to college while guy Two went into the service, so the two of them had been away for a few years, but they swore their friends never used to be like that. This was actually supposed to be a reunion hike of sorts since they both happened to come back around the same time. After meeting up with guys Three, Four, and Five though, they realized their friends had been warped by these podcasts about alphas and betas and maximizing your sigma or something, and tried to convince him to listen to some pickup artist that claimed to know the secret to unlocking the female brain. Also known as, stupid useless slop grifters make to get rich off young boys with zero confidence and zero bitches. Lastly, he tells me guy Three was actually raised by a single mother alongside his two sisters, so he really wouldn't expect that kind of behavior from him. Guy Four was always sort of sketchy but they thought he was "just being funny", men right? The only thing they felt was weird about him was this one time when they were teens his sister moved away and he got really quiet afterwards, but then he dated a few people that looked almost identical to her, but for some reason he didn't see it, so they started calling him "little sister" (or did they? oooo) or "Lil" for short, joking he had an undiagnosed sister complex… Ew. That’s all I’ll say to that. The last guy, Five, they said always seemed fine to them, they didn't elaborate, so idk what their idea of "fine" is, sorry to disappoint.
Not long after we got back to the camp we heard engines in the distance, and as they got closer and closer we all stared in confusion. No one should be riding vehicles out this way, and friend 6 knows her bf wouldn't come out here without alerting us.
The vehicles stopped after surrounding us with their lights pointing right at us. We heard the familiar voices of guy Three, along with 4 new voices. He whined about how we hyurt his widdle feefees or something obnoxious. I tried to listen but it's just so hard to listen to some overgrown pissbaby go on about their fragile ego. Guys One and Two went to confront guy Three and his posse, asking why they didn’t wait at the car. Guy Three told them they wouldn’t understand because they’ve given themselves over to feminist ideas and allowed themselves to become beta cucks. He told them that simps deserve to die so other men won’t be warped by feminist witch pussy magic like they have… Like we just met these guys and he’s already acting like we had sex… This man's logic was like a runaway train, the cars are all there but they ain’t making it to their destination. Guys One and Two continue to argue with guys Three, Four, and Five, before guys Six and seven come up behind them and put knives to their necks. At this moment I noticed a gleam in guy Three’s eyes. He now thinks he’s invincible… I can see the depravity in his eyes as he looks upon friend Two, stripping her down in his mind, imagining all the sick things he’ll do. And as if to validate my suspicions, he walks up to her and says “You never did complete that dare… How about we start a new game… But this time we won’t have any need for truths.” I watch as fear washes over Two’s face, as she begins to imagine what he is implying, almost as if his depraved thoughts were being projected into her mind, instilling suffering on her before he had even begun to touch her. She catches herself, refusing to give him the satisfaction of fear and spits in his face. She then tells him “you couldn’t even please your hand with a prick that small.” The look of anger on his face was honestly delectable. If I could, I would put it on canvas and call it “Portrait of a Scorned Man” or “Man who just realized being a dick doesn’t make yours bigger”. ANYWAYS, he then began to yell something about "it's up to real men to show women their place in society!" OOO so angwy! They started circling around us like starving wolves. One of them placed themselves against friend Five’s back and said "I always wondered if trans women looked different down there." Which angered friend Five, but not as much as it did friend Four who tends to be a bit of a hot head.
Friend Four may look like a pretty cute petite princess, but she's manlier than most men I know. She's a competitive marksman, as well as being a gymrat who likes to build cars on the weekends. She's also the girlfriend of friend Five, not that that’s important but I feel like it should be important. So anyways, she starts blasting right? And one of these guys yells "what the fuck they’ve got funs!? Who the fuck gave these stupid bitches guns!?" I then hear one of them try to antagonize her by saying "pretty young thang like you shouldn't be carrying such a big piece until she's used to it! AYO!" So she shot a round off at the tree he took shelter behind as if to mock him by letting him know his life is in her hands… She looked like a real boss bitch, like for real! That girl is HIM! She has always been him, she will always be him! While this was taking place, friend Six reached out to her boyfriend now that we could finally use the radio without fear of them taking it. We explained what was happening and asked him to bring help. He told us to tie the button down and to hide it from sight so that he could listen in while he headed to the station to get help. I feel so bad for that man, having to listen to all those screams, feeling completely powerless to do anything in the moment, but we’re so thankful to him for being there in the way that he was.
Gun fire kept ringing out as Four kept firing rounds into the forests yelling “I shoot to maim!” and “You’re not safe here!” hoping to scare the men enough to make them retreat because none of them seemed to have rifles on them… But then we hear it… The first scream… Everyone freezes in their tracks, their heart stilled by this sudden shriek of terror that seemed to only further race towards the all consuming darkness. The moment it stopped nothing remained but the slow encroaching crawl of raindrops and the rapid beating drums of the fear in our hearts. It's then that the rain came down like a closing curtain on the chapter of our innocence, because that’s when we heard the second scream, a scream just as chilling as the first, ascending high into the tree tops before we see something that shocks everyone to their core; the haunting image of a man’s face still screaming, a face still unaware its going to meet, a face that still hopes to be saved but never will. Within unison, as if hell had a chorus, we all screamed in silence as we turned to run. With no other means of safety, my friends, guys One and Two, as well as myself ran for the tent. We don't really know what happened after we got into the tent, but not a second went by that we didn't think we wouldn't be next. We know better now, but in that moment I felt both relief and fear for my life. I just kept thinking how lucky I was that I was fortunate enough to die with my dignity still intact… I kept thinking "at least those man babies didn't get to do whatever depravity they had in mind"
Well by now everyone knows what happened, it's been on the news. Those 3 guys and all of their cronies turned up missing… But what the news won't tell you is that we were saved by Mama Makwa, we call her that due to the sounds we heard, as well as the site we saw afterwards. The bellowing sound of vengeance that came in the form of a bear’s roar was as loud as the mean screaming they saw a 9 ft tall bear with skin dripping off of its bone like fur. We later learned that men referred to it as “Slippy Skin” aka "Wejuk", as it seemed the bear would change appearance depending on who gazed upon its visage, but this was not "Wejuk". One by one, we heard those men scream for their lives, describing a creature with a mouth made of human hands that had palms covered by teeth shaped like hypodermic needles. It had claws that seemed like stone daggers that were etched by native americans. They warned each other "Don't look into its eyes!" before proclaiming how sorry they were for the things they'd done… They complained of the putrid stench suffocating them as they were pulled into its gaping maw. They screamed of the creatures rotting viscous flesh melting into their own, and making their skin a part of it, as if their skins were fuel for the fear this best could instill by its mere dominion over them. But we never saw that creature… Instead, after the screams stopped, we were greeted by this beautiful creature that looked like a bear, only it had this glow about it, and its fur seemed almost like the softest of opalescent feathers. Its eyes looked just like the aurora borealis, and she was mesmerizing. We felt safe, and welcomed, and most of all protected… After everything that happened, I think we will be coming back, because we know Mama Makwa will be there to protect us. We believe Mama Makwa is an avenging spirit born from the fear those women felt, here to make sure no other women ever have to suffer like they did within this forest. We also now understand why those men all went missing. My boyfriend and friend Two's husband weren't attacked by Mama Makwa… Only the men who felt any sort of ill intent toward us women that night saw Mama Makwa in that form, the form they confused for Slippy… But knowing there is a safe haven for women out there, I'm thinking we will have another girls night next year, anybody wanna come?

TLDR: Boyfriend 27M self sabotaged relationship after honeymoon phase ended
I (31F) was dumped by my (27M) boyfriend because he “lost feelings.” Seems like he checked out months ago. It was my first healthy relationship, we were friends, laughed, and had a lot of fun together. I thought we communicated well. We lived together, spent the last two holidays with his family, and would have celebrated two years together in two weeks. He told me when this happened and we went to two couples therapy sessions together before he dumped me. Said he didn’t feel as strongly as before and was having anxiety about if we got married and divorced later (like his parents did).
I’m having a hard time moving forward because I still love him. I think he self sabotaged our relationship and was sobbing uncontrollably when he moved out and took all the photos of us. He seems so insanely confused. He told me he feels like he’s making the biggest mistake of his life with tears in his eyes. He told me I was an amazing girlfriend and this had nothing to do with me.
Has anyone experienced this before and been on the other side of a “I lost feelings?”
It hurts like hell, I thought this was my forever partner. We talked about marriage and kids. Do these types of people normally come back when they realize they made a mistake or is it best I just move on? Any input is appreciated.
I’ve joined a CrossFit gym where I go 3x a week and do daily journaling. I’m still really tearful and struggling. I’m really trying to get on the other side of this. Thank you for reading.

am i in the wrong for thinking about leaving my girlfriend?
i F19 and my girlfriend V F19 have been seeing each other for 9 months, for some context i’ve know her for around 8 years but lost contact then regained contact after seeing her at her job. V is an amazing girl and she truly always has good intentions with me and how she goes about our relationship, my mom loves her which isn’t something i saw often between past people i was seeing.

the issue is her family. Her parents (not sure of their age but they have a 10 year age gap). They are extremely religious and are against same sex relationships. I’ve met both her parents when i was introduced as her friend even though i wasn’t , i have a more masculine appearance with boy shirt hair that her mom would make comments about behind my back and even sometimes to my face ex: why is your hair short, it would look so nice if you grew it out. or ask me if i had a boyfriend. Her father was extremely nice to me and would invite me to dinners and church but i would politely decline due to knowing their beliefs. Her mom is extremely invasive to V’s room and goes through it when she isn’t home, it’s wrong but it’s not going to stop her anytime soon, there is honestly a lot of things she does that are insane . a couple months back V and i were going to hang out at her house after i got out of work, i had just got dropped off at her house and her mom said she wanted to talk to us which wasn’t alarming to me because she always talked to us about praying together and would always go over things she thought was best for us. She ended up finding a love letter i wrote to V when we were first seeing each other. i was stunned to say the least but she goes on about how it’s wrong and telling me how she wants her daughter to marry a man and have kids, she goes to talk about how mom raised me and saying she didn’t take us to church enough. i was so upset i started smiling from the bullshit coming from this ladies mouth. she asked me if i had something to say and i knew nothing i would say was nice so i was about to leave walking to the door, her mom proceeded to grab my arm saying i need god and i yelled to let go of me multiple times before V grabbed her arm off me and i opened the door to leave. her mother told me that i will be going to hell and to never step foot in her house again. i called my friend to tell her what went on and wondering if i could continue to see this girl. After that i only see her at night from sneaking in her house (her room is a hut in the backyard so it’s pretty easy). i rarely see her during the day and it’s something we have to plan at least two weeks ahead of time to make happen during the day. I truly feel a lot for V but i find it very unfortunate that i’ll never have a relationship with her family and continue to hide it until we potentially move in together or she moves out on her own. i’m looking for advice or even a way to talk to V about this, or is this something i should just walk away from. 

I (25F) started dating my boyfriend (30M) and we had an instant connection- everything was perfect. About 3 months in, he comes out of the shower and shows me that he has something on his downstairs. I looked at it and said “looks like herpes- you should go to the doctor”. He was shocked. He said something along the lines of “I can’t believe this- I’ve never had any STD before and this could be herpes?!” He was distraught…. Like acted like the world was ending and he couldn’t believe this was happening to him. I calmed him down & assured him that I know so many people that have it and it’s truly not a big deal. He says with tears in his eyes “will you leave me if it is?” And I was like “oh my god no it’s really not a big deal I promise”. At some point, he asks if I have it & gave it to him…..
So I drop him off at the doctor and he says “the doctor said it doesn’t look like herpes & he won’t give me the meds unless you come in & get tested”. I didn’t have health insurance at the time & I’d never had a breakout & was just tested for everything 2 months prior so I was like no… I was confused because I’ve been told they hand out valtrex like candy & the fact that they didn’t even test him just as a precaution so weird to me because I was pretty sure it was herpes.
Anyways, the little spot just goes away. Now keep this in mind, he was sharing a cat with his ex so they were in communication at this point.
Fast forward to like 6 months in, he has another one. This time though, him & his ex had cut all ties & she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He goes to the doctor, NOW it’s herpes. Interesting. But I believe him that he didn’t know and boohoo whatever & I stay and eventually get it as well (HSV-2 by the way).
Now fast forward to over a year in, he’s out of town. I’m cleaning up and I come across his old phone. Now look, I’m not one for going through phones but something inside of me told me to do so. So, I did.
I found texts from around the time of his first breakout, saying to her “you gave me something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life” and a voice memo saying “he was having a really bad one & needed some of the pills”. Along with all these other texts to his ex during the first month of us dating that looked like he was trying to get back with her.
So, I screenshotted the worst ones, circled them, left the phone with a note that said “open me”, and went to Hawaii with my friends.
Anywho, after screaming & fighting & all of that, he convinces me that he was actually just trying to manipulate her (he used the word manipulate) into giving him the cat by making her feel bad. And he started telling her that she gave him herpes after they broke up to make her feel guilty. And I believe it.
However, my intuition doesn’t let me live lmao. I am an anxious wreck. So about once a week for a year, I bring up a text that doesn’t make sense or another question I have about the situation. I BEG him to tell me the truth if he’s lying because it’s genuinely driving me insane. It’s all I think about. He swears up and down that he’s not lying. He even says “I honestly wish I was lying just so you could have some closure.” And would get frustrated at me for “always bringing up his ex”.
Anyways, life still goes on normally. He asks my parents for permission to marry me, etc.
Now it’s Christmas time. I was at home with my family. I told him during this time that I just can’t shake the feeling that he is still lying and it’s unfair that I keep bringing it up so I’ve decided to go on Prozac (he’s very anti depression/anxiety med bc “it changes people”). So the day after Christmas, he calls me and tells me the truth. I flip the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk out. Because how could you lie to my face weekly when I BEGGED for the truth. My best friend spent probably a total of 300 hours while I talked through all of the evidence for a year. Like……. What. (Also I feel so fucking bad for my friend having to listen to this shit for so long).
Anyways, I chose to forgive him after a month of me just losing my fucking mind. And now, he’s going through a difficult time (seems like he always is) and just sooooo frustrated with life every day because the world is against him & everything goes wrong for him while my life is pretty good lol. And I think he resents me for it. It’s only been 5 months since he told me the truth & he’s getting frustrated when I complain to him, saying he’s picking on me (he said my outfit looked like I was a lesbian— also why is that an insult they have amazing style lmao) and just taking out his shit on me. Anytime anyone tries to help him, he sees it as an attack because he just has to be right.
Oh my god sorry this was so long and honestly just reading it back, I’m like girl………….. but what would you guys do? HAHA I’m so sorry but all I can do is laugh bc this whole thing is so rediculous. Oh, I’ve caught him in some other small lies as well that he didn’t fess up to until I presented him with evidence.
Anyways, do I break up with him? It’s been over 2 years now & the whole time it’s just been his problems & me helping solve them.
Edit : oh and when I bring something up that hurts my feelings, I’m “too sensitive”

It's a very difficult relationship and has many sides to it, but I'll try to keep it short. By very specific events and random happenings we ended up meeting, she had very big issues with her family and I happened to be a very good friend of a member of her family. We go to the same uni, she's finishing this year. We ended up being very good friends for couple of weeks upon meeting each other, we talked about anything and we laughed about anything. We really connected spiritually and mentally and she was at a VERY low point of her life becauase of her family issues. I've helped her tremendously and I showed her that I am capable of being a good man in her life. We both didn't really search for a relationship at that time, she lost hope in men and almost because a lesbian, and I was very stressed because of university. But we did, and it was wonderful, I was romantic and careful, was perfect in bed and we were both really good for each other. Those days feels like dreams, we had sex for hours then we talked for hours, I really thought she would be the love of my life. We both felt really good for the first 6 months and she was at first playing hard to catch but day by day she let her guard down more.
Very randomly, shit started to happen. She got jealous of my mom, because I talked to her too much, a matter that I did not understand at all at that time, she started to think that I am immature, even though all my friends recognise me as a very mature person. We started to get annoying to each other, sex started to go down, and everything else fell appart. We lived like this for a year, I started to settle, to take this relationship more in "6th gear" because I thought everything was stable. I was honestly pretty happy, we went to vacations, had fun, even though we argued quite a lot, and sex still happened every day or two, but not that passional anymore. I felt too tired to satisfy her and to have special moments with her, because all my energy went into arguing. Couple of months ago she started to cry for absolutely no reasons, have mental break downs, bash the furniture, act crazy. I was extremely annoyed by her childish behaviour, and I didn't knew what to do. I had a rough year, I had to study and study all day long and didn't have lots of time for her. She wanted for me to meet her friends, I delayed meeting her friends over and over because I was so anxious about my exams (hardest year of this university is my current year). We loved each other to death, but we had different views and different stages of life, she was thinking about marriage, I told her I can't get married until I can start to make a living for myself (atleast earn a salary).
One day, she flipped, she started to act weird, like she was high. We had a very deep talk about our relationship and it made so much sense to split, and we did. She was living with me, and she moved away of course. I was pretty much broken and depressed, I didn't think a breakup could do that much damage to me, it never did with my exes, but with her it was a huge pain. I started to have so many regrets that I could've been a better man for her, and I could've been more attentive, truth being told, I still loved her to death. I managed to study, but as a man I was broken. I called her two weeks later after the breakup, we've seen each other, I told her that I want to try again, and that I'll be better, she finally told me how much she suffered throuought the relationship. I told her that I want to be romantic and more attentive, and to be happy together. She told me that it's not enough, and told me some very difficult terms. She basically asked me to start doing things that I don't think I would like, but she likes. Couple of exemples : She likes to go with her friends on mountain trips, where they stay for about a week and walk the whole mountain, and they sleep in tents, and she wanted me to join her. Or, if any of her friends need a "room" for the night, that they could sleep in our house ( we live in a fuc*king dormitory, they would be basically sleeping right next to us). Those NEW terms were like gunshots to me, because I am a very private person, I don't want to sleep with my girlfriend next to a friend in need, it's just weird to me, and there are thousand of other options, but it's just her own being. I feel like by going back to her I signed a contract where I am to do whatever she asks now, basically all I ever gave her turned out that it was 5% of what she wants. Before the breakup I didn't want to be with her friends. After the breakup I told her I understand her and that I will spend time with her friends. Now she wants me to walk tens of kilometers of mountains with her friends and live in a tent. Before the breakup I was not that romantic. After the breakup I told her I will be romantic. Now she said that she has no intention in even coming out with an idea of something to do, and I have to propose everything. Before the breakup we didn't have that much passionate sex. After the breakup I told her I'll pay very close attention to her needs. Now she doesn't even want to come in my house and told me she won't have sex until marriage. She says she wants me to read her fucking mind. It feels like she wants to take revenge so bad. And it makes me weak that I love her that much. The problem is, that I know that she also does love me, but it feels like she loves to manipulate me also. I know this feels like a vent, it really is though, any advice is welcome and THANK you for reading this far.