Blank busines insurance form
Gentlemen, I suggest something drastic.
2024.06.09 17:25 Titan2562 Gentlemen, I suggest something drastic.
Let's not kid ourselves here, valve does not give this game a lickspittle of attention. Considering the Steam platform literally shits money for them, the financial incentive to pay much mind to a 17 year old game just isn't there.
I see people using the WoW legacy server petition as an example of how community pressure can help make sorely-needed updates to games happen, but here's the thing; WoW is one of the few actually-enjoyable blizzard products in existence, supposedly. It's a massive money sink for most of the people who play it; if it goes down there goes a massive chunk of Blizzard's revenue, it could literally cripple the company. They have to support the games or die in the process, it's pure capitalism; they see a petition with 300,000 or more signatures and the entire board of directors have to cave to keep their player base happy.
On the other hand Valve basically IS the PC gaming industry. TF2 probably barely accounts for even a fraction of a percent of all the money they make off of all the games they sell on Steam; if the TF2 servers went down it would be little more than a mosquito bite to their checkbooks. Not to mention TF2 is running off of 17 year old source spaghetti, it's probably development HELL to simply keep the game running at all let alone actively add content to it.
Think of it this way. You're a car collector, and among your cars is both an original Ford Model T, and a brand-new tesla. You love the model T and want to drive it more, but it's an old fucking car. It breaks down, it's hell to start up, they literally don't make parts for it anymore, it has the fuel efficiency of a dead rat, and even after all that the insurance only lets you drive it once a week. If you wake up in the morning and need to get to work, what are you going to drive? The Model T that needs a refuel just from driving to McDonalds, or the Tesla that can drive a good few hundred miles between recharges?
My point is that I don't see putting a petition in front of them with a hundred thousand, three hundred thousand, hell even a million signatures on it, ending any other way than with them nodding blankly, saying "Yes, we hear your concerns", and then going back to unclogging the money printers. We're hefting responsibility on the people who, financially, have perhaps the LEAST reason to actually do anything at this point.
And that's the thing that irks me.
At the end of the day, signing petitions and just talking about it isn't actually DOING anything. It's slacktivism, thinking that by just saying "Hey here's the problem" will in and of itself get someone else to solve the problem. The reason the WoW petition worked was because it showed a serious financial pressure to Blizzard, pressure we simply can't hope to put on the monolithic entity known as Valve. Cause here's the thing; Hackers in TF2 aren't costing valve any money. Even if they want to do something as game developers to fix this, as businessmen the money simply isn't there. It's solely a problem for the people who play it, and we're continuing to indulge in the fallacy that by waving our problem in valve's face that they'll fix it for us.
I say then, that since it is our problem, WE should be the ones to actually fucking do anything about it. Get up off our asses, stop complaining to Valve to fix it and get our own bloody hands dirty. And no, I'm not going to be the person who screams "Actually do something" and not put forth some suggestions to do so.
The problem is that this issue is being kept pretty close to the TF2 community, who have little direct power to counter it on our own. if we expose the issue to the greater part of gaming it would be like putting a spotlight on a vampire. TF2 is one of the most venerable games in existence, every gamer has at least HEARD of it. Putting pressure on the bot hosters from outside the TF2 community, hell drawing attention from outside gaming in general even, would both force the hosters into the spotlights of people who would be a lot less unable act against them. Cheating in online games IS illegal in some countries, making it an issue to them would RUIN the hosters.
submitted by Titan2562 to tf2 [link] [comments]
I see people using the WoW legacy server petition as an example of how community pressure can help make sorely-needed updates to games happen, but here's the thing; WoW is one of the few actually-enjoyable blizzard products in existence, supposedly. It's a massive money sink for most of the people who play it; if it goes down there goes a massive chunk of Blizzard's revenue, it could literally cripple the company. They have to support the games or die in the process, it's pure capitalism; they see a petition with 300,000 or more signatures and the entire board of directors have to cave to keep their player base happy.
On the other hand Valve basically IS the PC gaming industry. TF2 probably barely accounts for even a fraction of a percent of all the money they make off of all the games they sell on Steam; if the TF2 servers went down it would be little more than a mosquito bite to their checkbooks. Not to mention TF2 is running off of 17 year old source spaghetti, it's probably development HELL to simply keep the game running at all let alone actively add content to it.
Think of it this way. You're a car collector, and among your cars is both an original Ford Model T, and a brand-new tesla. You love the model T and want to drive it more, but it's an old fucking car. It breaks down, it's hell to start up, they literally don't make parts for it anymore, it has the fuel efficiency of a dead rat, and even after all that the insurance only lets you drive it once a week. If you wake up in the morning and need to get to work, what are you going to drive? The Model T that needs a refuel just from driving to McDonalds, or the Tesla that can drive a good few hundred miles between recharges?
My point is that I don't see putting a petition in front of them with a hundred thousand, three hundred thousand, hell even a million signatures on it, ending any other way than with them nodding blankly, saying "Yes, we hear your concerns", and then going back to unclogging the money printers. We're hefting responsibility on the people who, financially, have perhaps the LEAST reason to actually do anything at this point.
And that's the thing that irks me.
At the end of the day, signing petitions and just talking about it isn't actually DOING anything. It's slacktivism, thinking that by just saying "Hey here's the problem" will in and of itself get someone else to solve the problem. The reason the WoW petition worked was because it showed a serious financial pressure to Blizzard, pressure we simply can't hope to put on the monolithic entity known as Valve. Cause here's the thing; Hackers in TF2 aren't costing valve any money. Even if they want to do something as game developers to fix this, as businessmen the money simply isn't there. It's solely a problem for the people who play it, and we're continuing to indulge in the fallacy that by waving our problem in valve's face that they'll fix it for us.
I say then, that since it is our problem, WE should be the ones to actually fucking do anything about it. Get up off our asses, stop complaining to Valve to fix it and get our own bloody hands dirty. And no, I'm not going to be the person who screams "Actually do something" and not put forth some suggestions to do so.
- Get more people playing the game.
- Gather information on the Bot hosters outside of the game and target them through the legal system.
- Draw TOO much attention to the bots.
The problem is that this issue is being kept pretty close to the TF2 community, who have little direct power to counter it on our own. if we expose the issue to the greater part of gaming it would be like putting a spotlight on a vampire. TF2 is one of the most venerable games in existence, every gamer has at least HEARD of it. Putting pressure on the bot hosters from outside the TF2 community, hell drawing attention from outside gaming in general even, would both force the hosters into the spotlights of people who would be a lot less unable act against them. Cheating in online games IS illegal in some countries, making it an issue to them would RUIN the hosters.
- Gain powerful allies.
2024.06.09 16:53 Berko1572 USA: Health Insurance Resources
.
.Find a health plan:
• Out 2 Enroll
Understand how to use health insurance for transition-related care:
• Trans Health Project
Maintained the Trans Legal Defense & Edu Fund (TLDEF) - Highly recommend to all trans US residents- Very thorough
.Determine in-network or out-of-network:
• National Provider Information Registry
- NPI is useful for searching health insurance plan's directory of covered providers
- Sometimes name searches won't show-up correctly; sometimes NPI searches won't either
- Directories can be out of date
- Always confirm with the provider's office whether they are in-network or out-of-network*
Get required insurance letters for free:
• GALAP
Appeals, denials, general insurance navigation:
• TransFamilySOS
• Expert consultant
DM for contact infoLongtime trans-inclusive health insurance advocate who is themself trans - Decades of experience - Assists securing inclusive employee and union member health benefit plans - Individual assistance appealing denials/exclusions - I don't post contact info publicly due to trolls - I am not affiliated
General legal landscape:
• Movement Advancement Project (MAP)
- 👍 Map of US: bans on trans exclusions in health insurance (policies that bar health insurers from explicitly refusing to cover trans-related healthcare benefits)
- 👎 Map of US: bans on providing trans-related healthcare to youth
.Find provider options:
• Trans Media Network websites:
Lists of known surgeons worldwide offering servicesImportant Note: Trans Media Network accepts paid advertising. Just because a provider is featured prominently does not mean they are necessarily endorsed or recommended by the site.
Surgeons with reported histories of patient harm, neglect, and abandonment are listed on these sites. - #TransHealthcare.org - #MTFSurgery.net - #TopSurgery.net - #Hysto.net - #Metoidioplasty.net
- #Phallo.net
.Legal help with insurance:
• Trans Health Project
• Transgender Law Center
• National Center for Lesbian Rights
- Not limited to lesbians
- Long history of advocating for and defending the rights of all trans people (not just lesbian trans women)
• National Center for Trans Equality
• Lambda Legal
• American Civil Liberties Union
- Find local ACLU
• Sylvia Rivera Law Project
• Medicare Rights Center
• Campaign for Southern Equality:
• Equality Federation
- Find state's LGBT state-wide orgs
- May be able to provide referrals to lawyers/other resources
.2024.06.09 16:49 Berko1572 USA: Health Insurance Resources
.
.Find a health plan:
• Out 2 Enroll
Understand how to use health insurance for transition-related care:
• Trans Health Project
Maintained the Trans Legal Defense & Edu Fund (TLDEF) - Highly recommend to all trans US residents- Very thorough
.Determine in-network or out-of-network:
• National Provider Information Registry
- NPI is useful for searching health insurance plan's directory of covered providers
- Sometimes name searches won't show-up correctly; sometimes NPI searches won't either
- Directories can be out of date
- Always confirm with the provider's office whether they are in-network or out-of-network*
Get required insurance letters for free:
• GALAP
Appeals, denials, general insurance navigation:
• TransFamilySOS
• Expert consultant
DM for contact infoLongtime trans-inclusive health insurance advocate who is themself trans - Decades of experience - Assists securing inclusive employee and union member health benefit plans - Individual assistance appealing denials/exclusions - I don't post contact info publicly due to trolls - I am not affiliated
General legal landscape:
• Movement Advancement Project (MAP)
- 👍 Map of US: bans on trans exclusions in health insurance (policies that bar health insurers from explicitly refusing to cover trans-related healthcare benefits)
- 👎 Map of US: bans on providing trans-related healthcare to youth
.Find provider options:
• Trans Media Network websites:
Lists of known surgeons worldwide offering servicesImportant Note: Trans Media Network accepts paid advertising. Just because a provider is featured prominently does not mean they are necessarily endorsed or recommended by the site.
Surgeons with reported histories of patient harm, neglect, and abandonment are listed on these sites. - #TransHealthcare.org - #TopSurgery.net - #Hysto.net - #Metoidioplasty.net
- #Phallo.net
.Legal help with insurance:
• Trans Health Project
• Transgender Law Center
• National Center for Lesbian Rights
- Not limited to lesbians
- Long history of advocating for and defending the rights of all trans people (not just lesbian trans women)
• National Center for Trans Equality
• Lambda Legal
• American Civil Liberties Union
- Find local ACLU
• Sylvia Rivera Law Project
• Medicare Rights Center
• Campaign for Southern Equality:
• Equality Federation
- Find state's LGBT state-wide orgs
- May be able to provide referrals to lawyers/other resources
.2024.06.09 16:46 Battlesmith707 Dispossessed Homebrew Archetypes: Warden Prince, Cogsmith, Ranger, Alms Matron
So, having created my Runesmith Archetype as well as a Khazalid Runework mechanic, I'm going to build four more archetypes, each representing an aspect of Duardin society. It is strongly encouraged that you check out my Runesmith archetype, because at least two of these archetypes start with runes.
First we have the Warden Prince - a frontline fighter who also has some room to dabble in leadership or diplomacy skills.
Then there's the Cogsmith - a character with high crafting who is primarily focused on ranged damage using black powder weaponry, but also gets bonuses when operating war machines or artillery.
After that is the Ranger - a versatile class that specializes in stealth and ranged combat, but also has the tools needed to be a decent frontline fighter in a pinch.
Lastly there is the Alms Matron. The Alms Matron is a name I pulled from a novel called Chronicles of the Wanderer. From what I gather they're basically the Priestesses of Valaya. The Alms Matron is primarily a support class who can use Miracles - I've taken a bunch of thematic miracles from Alarielle, Grimnir, and Grungni, and reflavoured them around Valaya. She also has access to a number of skills and talents that may serve the party outside of combat.
All-in-all I feel like I've laid the groundwork to have a relatively balanced well-rounded party consisting of nothing but Dispossessed.
WARDEN PRINCE
Warden Kings are the rulers of the Dispossessed Clans, and like most Kings, they require heirs. A Warden Prince is the son of a Warden King. From a young age they are trained to fight and to lead, with the expectation that their father shall not live forever. However only one of these children - the eldest son - can take their father's throne. Which then raises the question of what the remainder will do. Some serve the new King as generals and advisors, while others are married off to prominent figures within the clan, or to different clans entirely.
Others become Soulbound.
Many young Dispossessed Princes (and Princesses) who find themselves low in the line of succession leap at the chance to join a Binding. It is an opportunity to earn glory for themselves and their clan without forever remaining in the shadow of their older siblings, and it is also a respectable way to avoid being assigned an unwanted marriage. It also provides a chance to travel the Mortal Realms and potentially even explore the lost Karaks - many Soulbound Warden Princes dream of the day they can say they were the first to set foot in their clan's ancestral home in over five centuries.
A Warden Prince is a trained and well-equipped fighter, who due to the length of Duardin lifespans may already have decades of experience under their belt. Not only can they fight, but they can also lead - having been raised with the expectation that they will play a commanding role in either the court or the armies of their father or one of their brothers. It is possible that a Warden Prince may even have experience leading Throngs into battle. Beyond that, Warden Princes are also royalty, which may prove to be a boon when interacting with the aristocracy of other factions. Thus they are a welcome addition to any Binding of Order.
While travelling with the Binding, a Warden Prince may insist that they explore any lost Karaks they discover if it does not interfere with the Binding's other obligations. The Prince may wish to either scout them out for possible reclamation, or recover lost treasures. The Prince may appear enthusiastic about this at first, but once they finally walk the empty halls they may find themselves becoming depressed, melancholy, or even angry as they are struck by the full reality of their people's fall from glory.
Attributes
Talents (Choose 3)
Skills (7 XP)
COGSMITH
The Ironweld Arsenal - the great union of Duardin and Human Engineering. As Engineers of the Ironweld Arsenal, Cogsmiths are vital to the Cities of Sigmar war machine. Working closely with their human counterparts, they design, build, maintain, and repair the machinery, vehicles, artillery, and firearms wielded by Sigmar's mortal armies.
It is perhaps little surprise then that many Cogsmiths are happy to become Soulbound. An extended lifespan aside and ample opportunity to test out their new inventions aside, they are also well-accustomed to working alongside and learning from other Order factions. The Cogsmiths for their part bring a lot to the table - they are expert tinkerers, able to help repair and even improve the weapons of their Binding. They are well-versed in war machines and vehicles, able to get more out of them than most. A Cogsmith is also a formidable combatant in their own right, possessing experience with a wide array of firearms and war marchines.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Three)
Skills (9XP)
You are a member in good standing of the Ironweld Arsenal. Whenever you are operating a war machine, a vehicle, or a weapon mounted on a vehicle, and you are required to make a Ballistics Skill, you may choose to either gain double dice from your Training in Ballistics Skill or substitute your Crafting Skill instead - whichever one is more likely to yield a better result.
In addition to this, as an Endeavour and with 50D worth of crafting materials you can spend one week tinkering with a handheld non-Aetheric firearm to improve it. With three attempts, if you pass an Extended Crafting Test of DN 5:8, you may apply one of the following upgrades:
DISPOSSESSED RANGER
When asked to describe the natural gifts of the Duardin, few would ever think to list stealth as one of them. But it is - if they put their mind to it. Rangers fulfill a vital niche in Duardin armies - that of scouts, skirmishers, infiltrators, and sharpshooters. In the days of the Khazalid Empire, it was the rangers who kept borders clear of Monsters, Greenskins, and Beastmen. It was the rangers who would not only warn settlements of incoming attack, but also harry and harass the foe by any means necessary while the Throngs were mustered. Even today long after the Khazalid Empire's fall, the Dispossessed Clans have find use for rangers. Indeed, it was the rangers who weathered the Fall the easiest, for they were accustomed to wandering without a home.
The life of a Ranger is that of a wanderer and outcast - spending weeks or even months traversing the wilds, and camping under the open stars. The only Duardin who would voluntarily seek out this life are either outcasts or free-spirits, independently-minded with a strong sense of wanderlust. It is a thankless job - their greatest deeds are committed far from any settlement or army, and therefore go unwitnessed. Most Duardin find their lifestyle and tactics disturbing, and thus, treat them with (usually unwaranted) suspicion.
It is little wonder then that a Ranger would be eager to become Soulbound. As a Soulbound, they are more likely to be working with people who have fewer qualms about their tactics, and may even appreciate their skillset. They can spend greater periods of time travelling, being deployed throughout the Mortal Realms in direct service to a higher power, with no obligation of a clan to return to. It is also possible that the Ranger may have a Criminal past they are attempting to escape from. Members of a Binding may also find a Ranger's company preferable to that of other Duardin, for Rangers tend to be less hidebound than most of their Dispossessed kin, while still retaining a strong sense of duty and integrity.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Four)
Skills (9 XP)
This hooded cloak is dyed to blend in with the environment. Choose one of the Terrain types listed in the Hunter Talent (it does not need to be the same one you picked as part of the Talent.) While adventuring in this terrain, you can double the dice you receive from Training in Stealth. As a week-long Endeavour you can spend 50D to change the dye.
ALMS MATRON
Little is known about the Alms Matrons - also known as the Priestesses of Valaya, Duardin Ancestor Goddess of Hearth and Home. The birth rate of Duardin females was already low to begin with, and most Dispossessed Clans are fiercely protective of their women as a result. Even more confounding is the worship of the dead goddess Valaya. Despite all this, Priestesses of Valaya are an integral part of Dispossessed society - primarily serving as healers and mediators. They wield immense influence over the internal politics of their clans.
It is not impossible that, in less hidebound clans, Duardin of other genders may come to serve Valaya in the same capacity. But it would be regarded as unusual.
Valaya's fate remains a mystery. Some say she is dead, others say she is in hiding. Some say she died during the Great Betrayal, others say her death came long before that - possibly during the last days of the World-That-Was. Some say she will return, as the Fyreslayers believe Grimnir will, while others have given up any hope of this. In either case, it takes far more than the death of their God to make a Duardin abandon their faith.
Additional puzzlement comes in the fact that some Alms Matrons have been known to invoke Miracles of their goddess. Scholars can only speculate as to why this is - perhaps it is due to the power of their faith, or maybe Valaya does still exist in some form. Humans and Aelven scholars have also put forward the idea that perhaps Alarielle or Grungni are behind this.
It is exceedingly rare for an Alms Matron to become a Soulbound, primarily because it is difficult to convince a servant of Hearth and Home to leave both of those things behind. But it can happen, especially if there are other Duardin in the Binding or the Binding's goals align with the Clan's. Though not well-suited to direct combat, Alms Matrons can serve their Bindings in other useful ways - as healers, diplomats, scholars, and priests.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Four)
Skills (9 XP)
MIRACLES OF VALAYA
(Note: These Miracles are ultimately just reflavoured Miracles of Grungni, Grimnir, and Alarielle from the Core Rulebook and Champions of Order.)
Hearth Queen's Balance
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
You can heal the wounds of another by taking on a portion of their suffering. A creature you touch can reduce the severity of one Wound. In exchange, you must take a Minor Wound or increase the severity of a Wound you already have.
Blessing of Valaya
Target: Zone
Range: Long
Duration: Permanent
You infuse the earth with the essence of life, causing plants in an area to grow and bloom. This can be used to bolster crops and revitalise a land tainted by Chaos. You can also choose to shape the growth into simple structures, such as growing winding roots and vines into a ladder or small bridge, or creating cover for you and your allies. In combat, these simple structures can form bridges between Zones, or can be used to give one Zone the Cover Trait
The plants and wildlife created by this Miracle are permanent but will decay naturally if left unattended in an inhospitable environment.
Wrath of the Hearthqueen
Cost: 1 Mettle
Target: Zone
Range: Medium
Duration: Sustained
You fill an area with uncomfortable searing heat, scalding and disorienting any who trespass there. Choose a Zone within Medium Range. That Zone gains the Difficult Terrain and Minor Hazard Traits. Additionally, creatures entering or starting their turn in the Zone must make a DN 6:1 Body (Might) Test or be Restrained until the start of their next turn. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend an additional Mettle to increase the Complexity of this Test by 1, to DN 6:2. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Heat of the Hearth
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Instant
A wave of heat washes over your zone, comforting your allies and scalding your foes. Make a 5:1 Soul (Devotion) test.
Find Strength in Her Absence
Target: 1
Range: Long
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
Choose an allied target within long range. While the target has no allies in the same Zone, its Melee and Accuracy increase by two steps and it gains +2 Armour. If an ally enters the target’s Zone, this Miracle’s effect is suppressed until the ally leaves the Zone again. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Hearth Queen's Endurance
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Sustained
Make a DN 6:1 Soul (Devotion) Test. Whenever you or your allies within Short Range suffer Damage caused by fire or heat, reduce the Damage by 1 for each success. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Cauterise
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
Heat can be used as a tool of healing. Make a DN 4:1 Soul (Devotion) Test as you place a Holy Symbol of Valaya on a wounded ally. They recover Toughness equal to 1 plus the number of successes. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend a Mettle to add your Soul to the Toughness recovered.
Comforting Embers
Target: Allies within range
Range: Short
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
You call forth a rain of glowing embers that fill your allies with warmth and encourage them to press on. When you use this Miracle, allies within range increase their Speed by one step and ignore Difficult Terrain until the beginning of your next turn, though they cannot Flee or Retreat until the Miracle ends. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
submitted by Battlesmith707 to AgeOfSigmarRPG [link] [comments]
First we have the Warden Prince - a frontline fighter who also has some room to dabble in leadership or diplomacy skills.
Then there's the Cogsmith - a character with high crafting who is primarily focused on ranged damage using black powder weaponry, but also gets bonuses when operating war machines or artillery.
After that is the Ranger - a versatile class that specializes in stealth and ranged combat, but also has the tools needed to be a decent frontline fighter in a pinch.
Lastly there is the Alms Matron. The Alms Matron is a name I pulled from a novel called Chronicles of the Wanderer. From what I gather they're basically the Priestesses of Valaya. The Alms Matron is primarily a support class who can use Miracles - I've taken a bunch of thematic miracles from Alarielle, Grimnir, and Grungni, and reflavoured them around Valaya. She also has access to a number of skills and talents that may serve the party outside of combat.
All-in-all I feel like I've laid the groundwork to have a relatively balanced well-rounded party consisting of nothing but Dispossessed.
Warden Kings are the rulers of the Dispossessed Clans, and like most Kings, they require heirs. A Warden Prince is the son of a Warden King. From a young age they are trained to fight and to lead, with the expectation that their father shall not live forever. However only one of these children - the eldest son - can take their father's throne. Which then raises the question of what the remainder will do. Some serve the new King as generals and advisors, while others are married off to prominent figures within the clan, or to different clans entirely.
Others become Soulbound.
Many young Dispossessed Princes (and Princesses) who find themselves low in the line of succession leap at the chance to join a Binding. It is an opportunity to earn glory for themselves and their clan without forever remaining in the shadow of their older siblings, and it is also a respectable way to avoid being assigned an unwanted marriage. It also provides a chance to travel the Mortal Realms and potentially even explore the lost Karaks - many Soulbound Warden Princes dream of the day they can say they were the first to set foot in their clan's ancestral home in over five centuries.
A Warden Prince is a trained and well-equipped fighter, who due to the length of Duardin lifespans may already have decades of experience under their belt. Not only can they fight, but they can also lead - having been raised with the expectation that they will play a commanding role in either the court or the armies of their father or one of their brothers. It is possible that a Warden Prince may even have experience leading Throngs into battle. Beyond that, Warden Princes are also royalty, which may prove to be a boon when interacting with the aristocracy of other factions. Thus they are a welcome addition to any Binding of Order.
While travelling with the Binding, a Warden Prince may insist that they explore any lost Karaks they discover if it does not interfere with the Binding's other obligations. The Prince may wish to either scout them out for possible reclamation, or recover lost treasures. The Prince may appear enthusiastic about this at first, but once they finally walk the empty halls they may find themselves becoming depressed, melancholy, or even angry as they are struck by the full reality of their people's fall from glory.
Attributes
- Body: 4
- Mind: 2
- Soul: 2
Talents (Choose 3)
- Ancestral Grudge (Champions of Order)
- Armour Expert (Champions of Order)
- Bulwark
- Crushing Blow
- Diplomat
- Duelist (Champions of Order)
- Intimidating Manner
- Lead The Way (Champions of Order)
- Opportunist
- Rending Blow
- Shield Mastery
Skills (7 XP)
- Athletics
- Awareness
- Determination
- Dexterity
- Fortitude
- Guile
- Intimidation
- Intuition
- Lore
- Might
- Reflexes
- Weapon Skill
- Choose Between: Warhammer and Shield, Battleaxe and Shield, Greataxe, or Greathammer.
- Common Heavy Armour.
- One Weapon Rune or Shield Rune (see my Runesmithing Class for more information.)
- A map of one of the eight Mortal Realms, displaying all known Karaks within it (including yours) as well as the passages between them. The map is a copy of a more ancient work, dated during the height of the Khazalid Empire. It may have other landmarks on it as well (such as Realmgates) but it dates back to the Age of Myth and therefore may be unreliable. The map is neatly folded and stored in a well-crafted airtight case of wood and metal.
- 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis.
The Ironweld Arsenal - the great union of Duardin and Human Engineering. As Engineers of the Ironweld Arsenal, Cogsmiths are vital to the Cities of Sigmar war machine. Working closely with their human counterparts, they design, build, maintain, and repair the machinery, vehicles, artillery, and firearms wielded by Sigmar's mortal armies.
It is perhaps little surprise then that many Cogsmiths are happy to become Soulbound. An extended lifespan aside and ample opportunity to test out their new inventions aside, they are also well-accustomed to working alongside and learning from other Order factions. The Cogsmiths for their part bring a lot to the table - they are expert tinkerers, able to help repair and even improve the weapons of their Binding. They are well-versed in war machines and vehicles, able to get more out of them than most. A Cogsmith is also a formidable combatant in their own right, possessing experience with a wide array of firearms and war marchines.
Attributes
- Body: 2
- Mind: 4
- Soul: 1
Talents (Choose Three)
- Combat Ready
- Combat Repairs
- Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
- Creator (Champions of Order)
- Forbidden Knowledge
- Gunslinger
- Incidential Incendiaries (Steam and Steel)
- Point Blank Range
- Quick Reload
- Tinkerer (Steam and Steel)
- Savvy
- Scholar
Skills (9XP)
- Arcana
- Awareness
- Ballistic Skill
- Crafting
- Determination
- Dexterity
- Guile
- Lore
- Reflexes
- Choose between: Rifle, or Blunderbuss, or two Repeater Pistols.
- Choose between: Warhammer or Repeater Pistol.
- Common Medium Armour.
- Smith's Tools.
- Engineering Plans and Schematics.
- 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis
You are a member in good standing of the Ironweld Arsenal. Whenever you are operating a war machine, a vehicle, or a weapon mounted on a vehicle, and you are required to make a Ballistics Skill, you may choose to either gain double dice from your Training in Ballistics Skill or substitute your Crafting Skill instead - whichever one is more likely to yield a better result.
In addition to this, as an Endeavour and with 50D worth of crafting materials you can spend one week tinkering with a handheld non-Aetheric firearm to improve it. With three attempts, if you pass an Extended Crafting Test of DN 5:8, you may apply one of the following upgrades:
- Improved Sights: When using this firearm, the wielder's accuracy increases by one step.
- Longer Barrel: The firearm's range is extended by one zone.
- Double Barrel: The firearm now has a second barrel. When you make an attack with this weapon, you may either treat it as a dual-wielding attack and split your dice pool, or as a single attack that does 2 extra damage. Unfortunately, whatever weapon you apply this to also gains the Reload trait if it does not have it already.
- Armour-Piercing: The firearm gains the Penetrating Trait.
- Armour-Breaking: The firearm gains the Rend Trait.
When asked to describe the natural gifts of the Duardin, few would ever think to list stealth as one of them. But it is - if they put their mind to it. Rangers fulfill a vital niche in Duardin armies - that of scouts, skirmishers, infiltrators, and sharpshooters. In the days of the Khazalid Empire, it was the rangers who kept borders clear of Monsters, Greenskins, and Beastmen. It was the rangers who would not only warn settlements of incoming attack, but also harry and harass the foe by any means necessary while the Throngs were mustered. Even today long after the Khazalid Empire's fall, the Dispossessed Clans have find use for rangers. Indeed, it was the rangers who weathered the Fall the easiest, for they were accustomed to wandering without a home.
The life of a Ranger is that of a wanderer and outcast - spending weeks or even months traversing the wilds, and camping under the open stars. The only Duardin who would voluntarily seek out this life are either outcasts or free-spirits, independently-minded with a strong sense of wanderlust. It is a thankless job - their greatest deeds are committed far from any settlement or army, and therefore go unwitnessed. Most Duardin find their lifestyle and tactics disturbing, and thus, treat them with (usually unwaranted) suspicion.
It is little wonder then that a Ranger would be eager to become Soulbound. As a Soulbound, they are more likely to be working with people who have fewer qualms about their tactics, and may even appreciate their skillset. They can spend greater periods of time travelling, being deployed throughout the Mortal Realms in direct service to a higher power, with no obligation of a clan to return to. It is also possible that the Ranger may have a Criminal past they are attempting to escape from. Members of a Binding may also find a Ranger's company preferable to that of other Duardin, for Rangers tend to be less hidebound than most of their Dispossessed kin, while still retaining a strong sense of duty and integrity.
Attributes
- Body: 3
- Mind: 3
- Soul: 1
Talents (Choose Four)
- Alley Cat
- Backstab
- Combat Ready
- Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
- Criminal
- Hit and Run
- Iron Stomach
- Loyal Companion
- Observant
- Orientation
- Patient Strike
- Point-Blank Range
- Quick Reload
- Sever
- Sleight of Hand
- Vanish
Skills (9 XP)
- Athletics
- Awareness
- Ballistics Skill
- Beast Handling
- Dexterity
- Fortitude
- Intuition
- Nature
- Reflexes
- Stealth
- Survival
- Weapon Skill
- Great Crossbow
- Choose between: Greataxe or two Handaxes.
- Common Light Armour
- Ranger Cloak (see below)
- Flask of Duardin Amberwhisky
- 132 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis
This hooded cloak is dyed to blend in with the environment. Choose one of the Terrain types listed in the Hunter Talent (it does not need to be the same one you picked as part of the Talent.) While adventuring in this terrain, you can double the dice you receive from Training in Stealth. As a week-long Endeavour you can spend 50D to change the dye.
Little is known about the Alms Matrons - also known as the Priestesses of Valaya, Duardin Ancestor Goddess of Hearth and Home. The birth rate of Duardin females was already low to begin with, and most Dispossessed Clans are fiercely protective of their women as a result. Even more confounding is the worship of the dead goddess Valaya. Despite all this, Priestesses of Valaya are an integral part of Dispossessed society - primarily serving as healers and mediators. They wield immense influence over the internal politics of their clans.
It is not impossible that, in less hidebound clans, Duardin of other genders may come to serve Valaya in the same capacity. But it would be regarded as unusual.
Valaya's fate remains a mystery. Some say she is dead, others say she is in hiding. Some say she died during the Great Betrayal, others say her death came long before that - possibly during the last days of the World-That-Was. Some say she will return, as the Fyreslayers believe Grimnir will, while others have given up any hope of this. In either case, it takes far more than the death of their God to make a Duardin abandon their faith.
Additional puzzlement comes in the fact that some Alms Matrons have been known to invoke Miracles of their goddess. Scholars can only speculate as to why this is - perhaps it is due to the power of their faith, or maybe Valaya does still exist in some form. Humans and Aelven scholars have also put forward the idea that perhaps Alarielle or Grungni are behind this.
It is exceedingly rare for an Alms Matron to become a Soulbound, primarily because it is difficult to convince a servant of Hearth and Home to leave both of those things behind. But it can happen, especially if there are other Duardin in the Binding or the Binding's goals align with the Clan's. Though not well-suited to direct combat, Alms Matrons can serve their Bindings in other useful ways - as healers, diplomats, scholars, and priests.
Attributes
- Body: 1
- Mind: 3
- Soul: 3
Talents (Choose Four)
- Any Miracle of Valaya.
- A Warm Meal
- Acute Sense
- Diplomat
- Forbidden Knowledge
- Observant
- Scholar
- Silver Tongue
- Strong Soul
- Caregiver (Champions of Order)
- Compelling Music (Champions of Order)
- Stirring Voice (Champions of Order)
- Alchemist (Steam and Steel)
Skills (9 XP)
- Arcana
- Awareness
- Determination
- Devotion
- Dexterity
- Entertain
- Guile
- Intuition
- Lore
- Medicine
- Reflexes
- Theology
- Quarterstaff
- Pistol
- Common Light Armour
- Two Consumable Runes
- Holy Symbol of Valaya
- 175D to either keep or spend on whatever adventuring gear you wish.
(Note: These Miracles are ultimately just reflavoured Miracles of Grungni, Grimnir, and Alarielle from the Core Rulebook and Champions of Order.)
Hearth Queen's Balance
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
You can heal the wounds of another by taking on a portion of their suffering. A creature you touch can reduce the severity of one Wound. In exchange, you must take a Minor Wound or increase the severity of a Wound you already have.
Blessing of Valaya
Target: Zone
Range: Long
Duration: Permanent
You infuse the earth with the essence of life, causing plants in an area to grow and bloom. This can be used to bolster crops and revitalise a land tainted by Chaos. You can also choose to shape the growth into simple structures, such as growing winding roots and vines into a ladder or small bridge, or creating cover for you and your allies. In combat, these simple structures can form bridges between Zones, or can be used to give one Zone the Cover Trait
The plants and wildlife created by this Miracle are permanent but will decay naturally if left unattended in an inhospitable environment.
Wrath of the Hearthqueen
Cost: 1 Mettle
Target: Zone
Range: Medium
Duration: Sustained
You fill an area with uncomfortable searing heat, scalding and disorienting any who trespass there. Choose a Zone within Medium Range. That Zone gains the Difficult Terrain and Minor Hazard Traits. Additionally, creatures entering or starting their turn in the Zone must make a DN 6:1 Body (Might) Test or be Restrained until the start of their next turn. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend an additional Mettle to increase the Complexity of this Test by 1, to DN 6:2. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Heat of the Hearth
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Instant
A wave of heat washes over your zone, comforting your allies and scalding your foes. Make a 5:1 Soul (Devotion) test.
- You and your allies within your zone recover one toughness per success.
- Enemies within your zone suffer one damage per success.
Find Strength in Her Absence
Target: 1
Range: Long
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
Choose an allied target within long range. While the target has no allies in the same Zone, its Melee and Accuracy increase by two steps and it gains +2 Armour. If an ally enters the target’s Zone, this Miracle’s effect is suppressed until the ally leaves the Zone again. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Hearth Queen's Endurance
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Sustained
Make a DN 6:1 Soul (Devotion) Test. Whenever you or your allies within Short Range suffer Damage caused by fire or heat, reduce the Damage by 1 for each success. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Cauterise
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
Heat can be used as a tool of healing. Make a DN 4:1 Soul (Devotion) Test as you place a Holy Symbol of Valaya on a wounded ally. They recover Toughness equal to 1 plus the number of successes. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend a Mettle to add your Soul to the Toughness recovered.
Comforting Embers
Target: Allies within range
Range: Short
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
You call forth a rain of glowing embers that fill your allies with warmth and encourage them to press on. When you use this Miracle, allies within range increase their Speed by one step and ignore Difficult Terrain until the beginning of your next turn, though they cannot Flee or Retreat until the Miracle ends. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
2024.06.09 16:29 Focused-but-feral This has been going on for 24 hours 😂😅
 | I was messaged by someone posing as someone I know then they referred my to this attorney for 150 million dollars to be sent to me via FedEx tomorrow. 🫡 submitted by Focused-but-feral to scambait [link] [comments] |
2024.06.09 16:27 Berko1572 USA: Health Insurance Resources
.
.Find a health plan:
• Out 2 Enroll
Understand how to use health insurance for transition-related care:
• Trans Health Project
Maintained the Trans Legal Defense & Edu Fund (TLDEF) - Highly recommend to all trans US residents- Very thorough
.Determine in-network or out-of-network:
• National Provider Information Registry
- NPI is useful for searching health insurance plan's directory of covered providers
- Sometimes name searches won't show-up correctly; sometimes NPI searches won't either
- Directories can be out of date
- Always confirm with the provider's office whether they are in-network or out-of-network*
Get required insurance letters for free:
• GALAP
Appeals, denials, general insurance navigation:
• TransFamilySOS
• Expert consultant
DM for contact infoLongtime trans-inclusive health insurance advocate who is themself trans - Decades of experience - Assists securing inclusive employee and union member health benefit plans - Individual assistance appealing denials/exclusions - I don't post contact info publicly due to trolls - I am not affiliated
General legal landscape:
• Movement Advancement Project (MAP)
- 👍 Map of US: bans on trans exclusions in health insurance (policies that bar health insurers from explicitly refusing to cover trans-related healthcare benefits)
- 👎 Map of US: bans on providing trans-related healthcare to youth
.Find provider options:
• Trans Media Network websites:
Lists of known surgeons worldwide offering servicesImportant Note: Trans Media Network accepts paid advertising. Just because a provider is featured prominently does not mean they are necessarily endorsed or recommended by the site.
Surgeons with reported histories of patient harm, neglect, and abandonment are listed on these sites. - #TransHealthcare.org - #TopSurgery.net - #Hysto.net - #Metoidioplasty.net
- #Phallo.net
.Legal help with insurance:
• Trans Health Project
• Transgender Law Center
• National Center for Lesbian Rights
- Not limited to lesbians
- Long history of advocating for and defending the rights of all trans people (not just lesbian trans women)
• National Center for Trans Equality
• Lambda Legal
• American Civil Liberties Union
- Find local ACLU
• Sylvia Rivera Law Project
• Medicare Rights Center
• Campaign for Southern Equality:
• Equality Federation
- Find state's LGBT state-wide orgs
- May be able to provide referrals to lawyers/other resources
.2024.06.09 16:27 skwx for those that use both zep and compound
I’ve been building a stockpile of zepbound when i can get it, because i started compound after not being able to get it for two months.
My plan is to finish out the 7.5 compound i have, then use the 7.5 zepbound i have. i was debating getting a 10 compound as well because i have one 10 zepbound.
is there any fault to this, really? will it do horrible things to my insides? (lol)
also, before people get upset at me stockpiling zepbound, it’s covered by my insurance and i get it every month (plus some, to account for the shortage). i know others struggle to get any at all, but that doesn’t mean i don’t get to have some form of security in my medication, too 😤 the zepbound sub can be brutal
submitted by skwx to compoundedtirzepatide [link] [comments]
My plan is to finish out the 7.5 compound i have, then use the 7.5 zepbound i have. i was debating getting a 10 compound as well because i have one 10 zepbound.
is there any fault to this, really? will it do horrible things to my insides? (lol)
also, before people get upset at me stockpiling zepbound, it’s covered by my insurance and i get it every month (plus some, to account for the shortage). i know others struggle to get any at all, but that doesn’t mean i don’t get to have some form of security in my medication, too 😤 the zepbound sub can be brutal
2024.06.09 16:18 Spoileralertmynameis Analysing Thematic Imagery of Season 3 Episode 3
I already made the first post regarding episode 1 and 2, here are the links, if you are interested:
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1d8p07y/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_1/
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1daa5se/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_2/
Same note as before: I do not claim all of these thoughts as originals of mine, I am not taking credit for noticing what others already noticed, and feel free to credit those who were first in comments. Also feel free to comment what you see and I do not! Or challenge me or mine.
I shall do my best to deliver analysis of the fourth episode before part 2 drops.
General imagery of the season so far (feel free to skip if you read the last post or posts):
The main thematic imagery of this season is reflection; how characters are perceived by others and how they deal with those perceptions. It ties to both leads, who were given roles by society which they must fight from time to time, and how society’s perception of them changes and controls them. Mirror imagery was important throughout the previous season not only for Pen and Colin, however in this season in particular, mirror imagery appears very often, and I expected it to continue (ehem ehem).
Tied closely to reflection imagery, we see the dichotomy of light and shadows. This dichotomy is alluded to by titles of 3 episodes of the whole season; and through this dichotomy, social roles and expectations are established. Colin is in the light, showered by compliments from members of the Ton, while Pen is forced to be in the shadows. She uses the shadows as LW to her advantage, while Colin uses his power within the light to his advantage.
The general idea is that Pen needs to decide whether she wants to stay in the shadows, which might be easier, or whether she is willing to take a risk by stepping into the light. Other characters are also haunted by their reflections. I shall dive into it in each episode.
Episode 3: Forces of Nature
While the second episode heavilly relied on the dichotomy of the day and the night to showcase masculine and feminine power, the third episode features dichotomy of nature and humanity. I have very briefly touched upon it in previous analysis regarding the promenade, when Pen asks whether she can learn to flirt through books and the moment was juxtaposed with the nature behind our leads.
It is not a new dichotomy for the show. We can for example remember the ending of episode 6 from previous season ("Animals require no contracts or dowries. The hen and a rooster make no vows. Leave it to people to complicate matters with their ceremonies and their cakes.").
The nature represents the attraction and longing, while the humanity represents either obstacles in following our desires, or simply a rationale to be "sensible" instead. Lady Whistledown acknowledges that people can somewhat triumph ("Humankind has accomplished extraordinary feats in its attempt to compete against nature."), but the episodes concludes that not only will the nature win in the end, the battle does not even include the nature, but the people who fight themselves. Basically concluding that there are no winners.
"All of man's greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from which is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For all is said and done, our nature will always win out."
Both Penelope and Colin fail to fight their own feelings in this episode.
While the natural forces refer to inner desires, we might focus on the literal natural forces which symbolize them: the Featherington garden (aka the place of crime), and the fire; the most featured in this episode, though, is the wind. The natural force which ensured the first meeting of our leads and (at least according to the books and trailer for part 2), caused Penelope to fall for Colin, as he (literally) fell from his horse.
I shall get to it more later. Let's go again scene by scene.
Third episode begins with Colin's dream. Dreams are of course heavilly linked with both Colin, Pen and their desires. Ironically, Colin's dream represents his waking up Marina alluded to in the last season ("You are a boy, caught up in his own fantasies... You need to wake up, Colin!").
While Penelope stopped dreaming and gave up on her "fantasy" after Colin's comment in the end of season 2 ("I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies."), Colin is awaken at the same place, in a cheeky way, by his dream.
The Featherington garden represents crucial moments of their relationship so far. Firstly, it was the place where he broke her heart by his statement, and sparked her intention to marry. Secondly, of course, it was the place where they came to their agreement, with her agreeing to move from him by accepting his help, while he put himself in a vulnerable position to face feelings he did not acknowledge before. Thirdly, it is the place where he was forced to face his feelings VERY directly by agreeing to kiss her.
Colin's subcontious wants to "repair" the moment. It is cheeky for Colin to apologize for the late hour, which might have been appropriate for their last meeting, as well.
Fans have had a lot of fun dissecting Colin's psyche, as Colin's dream features basically every cliché of a raunchy romance novel, which is, of course, very intentional. The first shot features the fire burning, symbolizing Colin's realized feelings. The fog might either allude to the mystery whether Colin's love is requited, or to form a "protection from the gazes of others".
This episode offers a lot storytelling through clothing with Colin especially, and I shall dive to each of his looks. Generally speaking, Colin trades vulnerability for his armor repeatedly in the first half of the episode, culminating in his Innovations Ball look, which I find the most vulnerable.
Colin in his dream is dressed similarly as he was in the end of episode 2, however, his neck is now bare, alluding to his vulnerability. Pen's neckline is lower, her loose hair as well as the fit of the gown make it seem like she is in her nightgown. Still, it is very respectable look for a wet dream, likely to showcase and hammer that Colin did not found vulnerability anew, not sexual desire.
I find it interesting that the shot does not start with Colin walking into the frame, who is the one dreaming, but with Penelope. Perhaps the intention was to try to mess with fans and give them the impression it is Pen who dreams. Colin does not get confirmation of her feelings until he admits his. Again, Colin is the vulnerable this time, not Penelope. The scene focuses much more on her pleasure than his, either to again fool the audience, or again, to sell the difference.
As Colin wakes up, we get more visual clues in the globe and the map, likely alluding to his travelling experience, which are connected to his sexuality. The other is, of course, that his blanket is yellow, a color tied to Pen (resembling the shal Violet has in the portrait, again to sell the paraller of the couples, even before Violet states it to the audience at the end of this episode). He looks to the window, which might allude to him trying to find her, as she lives accross the street, which he likely did for the first time in last episode, or trying to find the light, representing a) his social role as a popular charming rake, and b) his masculine power.
Gregory's injury might thematically tie to multiple things. Gregory was established as a cupid, who pierces Colin's heart, and who now can't do so, meaning that Colin is trapped. Gregory can also represent Colin himself as he can't even properly eat with his injury, which was something Colin also mentioned of not being able to do so. We know that Gregory falls injures the hand before he has a chance to see the balloon, which might foreshadow the ending of the episode, when Colin tries to find the answer, only to not get it and be hurt.
Colin comes to the drawing room in a brown vest. The color of the vest reminds me of his pirate coat, and I wonder whether it is basically his "casual armor", the one he wears around his family now, not wanting them to know of his feelings. It is also worth pointing out that when Colin walks in, he goes to his brothers who sit seperately from the sisters and the mother, almost to shocase Colin's tendency to trying to follow male squad, even the toxic one.
Our dearest prophetess Hyacinth strikes again by mentioning Penelope. It is worth noting that while Colin is distressed, he still realizes that he likely hurt Eloise by commenting on Lady Whistledown finding about their ordeal, and seems to attempt to follow her to make sure she is fine. Colin can't refer to Penelope as his or as a friend, so he opts to refers to her as the acquaintance of the whole family and sips the tea this time. Colin's drinking is a recurring gag this season, showcasing his growing attraction towards Pen.
From the Queen's and Agatha's meeting, we get an interesting gag of the male suitors being thrown. Penelope fell for Colin when he fell from the horse, which is rather cheeky to remember when the one falling this time is Debling.
Penelope leaves her room just in time for her to a) be reminded of the importance of producing an heir, b) be reminded of her reasons she intended to find a husband, hearing her sisters. I believe that it is Eloise's comment that sparks Pen's hope to find a husband once again, as she gets her blessing. Penelope knew she couldn't stay away for long, but to keep her column, not because she gained hope.
It is quite reasonable that Penelope chose to promenade after week in her room. We are left to wonder why Colin choose to do so and if he was perhaps trying to see her. However, from his expression, I do believe that he was surprised to see her. Colin is the one who follows Pen this episode, showcasing the change in the dynamic. Penelope often followed him instead in the previous episode.
Penelope's styling seems very childish, with her ribbons, hair to the side and pinkish and lilac tone of her dress, perhaps a visual way for her to distance herself from the ordeal and that kiss. Colin is wearing the style akin to previous seasons, with his armor being left home. They are children once again. The willow the meet under might symbolize innocence, protection, childhood, as it somewhat shields them from the Ton. The long distance show might allude to them suddenly feeling a gap between themselves, or perhaps a need to keep their distance after the whole ordeal.
It is cheeky that Penelope relies on her double identity when asked for a reasoning. She might have just as easily pointed out the Ton itself, instead, she uses Lady Whistledown she disparaged in the last episode. Just as Colin refered to the Pen in regards to all Bridgertons, Penelope refers to her and his family regarding the embarassment. Pen thanking Colin for his kindness is of course very funny paraller to her comment about his cruelty in episode 1; a comment which might have hurt him the same.
Debling starts the episode as the hunted "prey", not only as Cressida (and later Pen) is after him, but by himself, as he wants to find a hiding place. However, Debling of course changes into the "predator" later.
Stowell House in general does not seem particularly inviting. It either displays mirrors or the "prey" on the walls, signalling Pen's entrapment. Penelope does not hide even in her corner, where she is found by the toxic buddies.
Penelope assures her mother that Ton will likely be distracted by the new scandal. Portia of course does not know that it is Penelope herself who is Lady Whistledown, and who might have a chance to publish such a scandal, but only if Pen leaves her hideout. Pen later offers social contagion as a joke, which might be a fun way of alluding to her double identity, as she holds a bit of power regarding social assesment.
Mirror imagery is quite cheeky regarding our leads and Debling. Pen's back is seen in mirror behind her, which might signal that she is currently social outcast, still uncomfortable after the incident, or visual signal of Pen hiding her identity.
With Colin's arrival, it is Pen who looks at him first, just when he looks at Eloise. Colin notices and continues to look, while Pen looks away and hides as a "prey". Colin turns away and we see a glimpse of him in the mirror. Pen fell first, but he fell harder. Colin flees the mirror, as he will continue to do so in this episode, following her.
Debling does not mind the mirror at all (something he seems to share with Agatha and Benedict) and as Pen becomes more comfortable, the mirror seems to dissapear from the shot. It is worth pointing out that both Colin and Debling have waistcoats with yellow ornaments, alluding to both of them being interested in Pen.
Colin is accompanied by the candles both when Eloise mentions Penelope, as well as when he is "assessing his pupil", alluding to his growing love. I do not think it was unintentional to have Alice mention his "kindheartedness", after Penelope thanks him for his "kindness". Not only do both mention the possibility of a different suitor, they also use similar language when speaking of Colin's role in it, rubbing the idea deeper.
Even more cheeky is that Alice does not refer to Penelope by name, only as a pupil, while Colin comments on it as "gossip" finding their home. Colin refers to Whistledown when asked about Penelope; while Pen is, of course, both subject of the gossip as well as its source as lady Whistledown.
Eloise'a and Cressida's scene alludes to Eloise walking to the crossroads and choosing a path she might regret. Eloise does not help Cressida much, but it is enough for her to easily win over Pen at first.
Finally, we get likely the most in face reference of the episode: Hawkins Balloon, with its blue and yellow stripes. It likely symbolizes our leads, with Colin seeing the balloon (aka embracing the opportunity of them becoming a couple), while Pen ignores it in favour of Debling.
Colin arrives in his armor, aka with his pirate coat firmly on. But his defence crumble rather quickly. He follows Penelope immedietely. At first, he follows her instruction to focus on sweets, but more and more into the scene, he just begins to look at Pen, the only exception is when Pen compliments Debling, as he feels a need to hide his feelings.
Colin loses his battle while seeing Pen eating the cake. The cake symbolized sex even back in 102, when Pen asks Marina how did she become pregnant. What is striking, though, that the next time Colin is shown on screen, he took off his coat and seems to finish Penelope's cake. Colin lets his armor down, just before his heroic moment.
The balloon is representation of a human attempt to "triumph" over the nature, to "conquer the wind". Funnily, as Colin with the help of his squad protects the balloon and wins over the wind, he loses his own battle against it internally, as the wind represents his desire for Penelope. Colin finds courage and allows himself to be vulnerable (by leaving the pirate coat, his armor, behind in the arms of one of his toxic buddies), only for him to find Penelope in Debling's embrace. Eloise and Cressida's remarks might be quite cruel foreshadowing for the later events. "It is good thing no one was injured." "Who says I wasn't?"
The distress of Colin at Innovations Ball is implied with his darker waistcoat, bare neck and him adjusting his jacket. Colin attempts his best to smile for Eloise, but it is a rather unsuccesful attempt. If I dare say, Colin seems like he is attending funeral. His question whether a man can be pensive is rather interesting, not only as it is pun on Penelope's name, but as Colin asks basically if he can be himself.
Penelope and Portia ignore the lamp, the sorce of fire and light, which I would argue, represents the love between Pen and Colin.
Benedict refers to Francesca as "his shield" from the debutantes, and we see Benedict succeeding in fleeing the debutantes with the sister by his side. Eloise, on the other hand, leaves Colin to them, leaving him "unprotected". This is hammered with Violet, who without the children by her side, becomes the target of Marcus. It is no wonder Francesca finds her man when she is allowed to return to her familiar shadows, with fireplace representing love, passion and desire once again. Benedict, too, fails to "battle the nature", as he finds himself in the embrace of his newest partner, after he meets her at the staircase, with her looking down on him.
As the debutantes ask Colin if he is as heroic on the dancefloor, Colin moves his head instead of answering, while we get the shot of Pen holding her own dancecard. It is quite clear. Colin is losing his chance.
While Penelope's and Cressida's race is for comedic effect, it showcases that a lot of times, women fight over guys they might even want, just because they fear someone else will snatch them. While Cressida is pressured to be married, no one points out that she almost married Jack last season, someone who turned out to be a schemer. Daphne won her own "race", only to end up with Simon. Cressida fails to gain Colin's attention in season 1 and 2 mostly due to her treatment of Penelope and Daphne.
Penelope finds herself on the crossroads between Colin and Debling. She chooses to look at Colin, showcasing to the audience that Pen is romantic at heart. While Colin answers the question of debutantes, he is in fact encouraging himself, but as he can't help but look at her, she takes it as his confirmation of wishing her good luck as a mentor. Just as Pen unknowingly let Colin down in willow scene with her words, Colin just done the same. Cheekily, Debling asks whether Pen has trouble with the balloon, while she answers "not at present". As she gave up on Colin in that instance.
Penelope herself pretends to love nature to secure herself a naturalist, ignoring her own desire to be with Colin. Ironically, she secures the naturalist by openly stating she does not really care about nature, when she cares about what nature represents in this episode. Debling giving Pen lemonade ties narratively to Pen leaving the lemonade at the table during the Full-Moon ball, as well as her leaving it at drawing scene with Colin.
I believe that Debling caught on Colin's feelings at this instant. The reason I believe so is that Pen's dance card was still blank and Pen gave Colin time to react. Debling did not ask Penelope for dance beforehand, and she hoped that Colin would speak... which is something Colin might have realized once Penelope gives Debling his hand and dance card is visible to him.
submitted by Spoileralertmynameis to PolinBridgerton [link] [comments]
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1d8p07y/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_1/
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1daa5se/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_2/
Same note as before: I do not claim all of these thoughts as originals of mine, I am not taking credit for noticing what others already noticed, and feel free to credit those who were first in comments. Also feel free to comment what you see and I do not! Or challenge me or mine.
I shall do my best to deliver analysis of the fourth episode before part 2 drops.
General imagery of the season so far (feel free to skip if you read the last post or posts):
The main thematic imagery of this season is reflection; how characters are perceived by others and how they deal with those perceptions. It ties to both leads, who were given roles by society which they must fight from time to time, and how society’s perception of them changes and controls them. Mirror imagery was important throughout the previous season not only for Pen and Colin, however in this season in particular, mirror imagery appears very often, and I expected it to continue (ehem ehem).
Tied closely to reflection imagery, we see the dichotomy of light and shadows. This dichotomy is alluded to by titles of 3 episodes of the whole season; and through this dichotomy, social roles and expectations are established. Colin is in the light, showered by compliments from members of the Ton, while Pen is forced to be in the shadows. She uses the shadows as LW to her advantage, while Colin uses his power within the light to his advantage.
The general idea is that Pen needs to decide whether she wants to stay in the shadows, which might be easier, or whether she is willing to take a risk by stepping into the light. Other characters are also haunted by their reflections. I shall dive into it in each episode.
Episode 3: Forces of Nature
While the second episode heavilly relied on the dichotomy of the day and the night to showcase masculine and feminine power, the third episode features dichotomy of nature and humanity. I have very briefly touched upon it in previous analysis regarding the promenade, when Pen asks whether she can learn to flirt through books and the moment was juxtaposed with the nature behind our leads.
It is not a new dichotomy for the show. We can for example remember the ending of episode 6 from previous season ("Animals require no contracts or dowries. The hen and a rooster make no vows. Leave it to people to complicate matters with their ceremonies and their cakes.").
The nature represents the attraction and longing, while the humanity represents either obstacles in following our desires, or simply a rationale to be "sensible" instead. Lady Whistledown acknowledges that people can somewhat triumph ("Humankind has accomplished extraordinary feats in its attempt to compete against nature."), but the episodes concludes that not only will the nature win in the end, the battle does not even include the nature, but the people who fight themselves. Basically concluding that there are no winners.
"All of man's greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from which is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For all is said and done, our nature will always win out."
Both Penelope and Colin fail to fight their own feelings in this episode.
While the natural forces refer to inner desires, we might focus on the literal natural forces which symbolize them: the Featherington garden (aka the place of crime), and the fire; the most featured in this episode, though, is the wind. The natural force which ensured the first meeting of our leads and (at least according to the books and trailer for part 2), caused Penelope to fall for Colin, as he (literally) fell from his horse.
I shall get to it more later. Let's go again scene by scene.
Third episode begins with Colin's dream. Dreams are of course heavilly linked with both Colin, Pen and their desires. Ironically, Colin's dream represents his waking up Marina alluded to in the last season ("You are a boy, caught up in his own fantasies... You need to wake up, Colin!").
While Penelope stopped dreaming and gave up on her "fantasy" after Colin's comment in the end of season 2 ("I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies."), Colin is awaken at the same place, in a cheeky way, by his dream.
The Featherington garden represents crucial moments of their relationship so far. Firstly, it was the place where he broke her heart by his statement, and sparked her intention to marry. Secondly, of course, it was the place where they came to their agreement, with her agreeing to move from him by accepting his help, while he put himself in a vulnerable position to face feelings he did not acknowledge before. Thirdly, it is the place where he was forced to face his feelings VERY directly by agreeing to kiss her.
Colin's subcontious wants to "repair" the moment. It is cheeky for Colin to apologize for the late hour, which might have been appropriate for their last meeting, as well.
Fans have had a lot of fun dissecting Colin's psyche, as Colin's dream features basically every cliché of a raunchy romance novel, which is, of course, very intentional. The first shot features the fire burning, symbolizing Colin's realized feelings. The fog might either allude to the mystery whether Colin's love is requited, or to form a "protection from the gazes of others".
This episode offers a lot storytelling through clothing with Colin especially, and I shall dive to each of his looks. Generally speaking, Colin trades vulnerability for his armor repeatedly in the first half of the episode, culminating in his Innovations Ball look, which I find the most vulnerable.
Colin in his dream is dressed similarly as he was in the end of episode 2, however, his neck is now bare, alluding to his vulnerability. Pen's neckline is lower, her loose hair as well as the fit of the gown make it seem like she is in her nightgown. Still, it is very respectable look for a wet dream, likely to showcase and hammer that Colin did not found vulnerability anew, not sexual desire.
I find it interesting that the shot does not start with Colin walking into the frame, who is the one dreaming, but with Penelope. Perhaps the intention was to try to mess with fans and give them the impression it is Pen who dreams. Colin does not get confirmation of her feelings until he admits his. Again, Colin is the vulnerable this time, not Penelope. The scene focuses much more on her pleasure than his, either to again fool the audience, or again, to sell the difference.
As Colin wakes up, we get more visual clues in the globe and the map, likely alluding to his travelling experience, which are connected to his sexuality. The other is, of course, that his blanket is yellow, a color tied to Pen (resembling the shal Violet has in the portrait, again to sell the paraller of the couples, even before Violet states it to the audience at the end of this episode). He looks to the window, which might allude to him trying to find her, as she lives accross the street, which he likely did for the first time in last episode, or trying to find the light, representing a) his social role as a popular charming rake, and b) his masculine power.
Gregory's injury might thematically tie to multiple things. Gregory was established as a cupid, who pierces Colin's heart, and who now can't do so, meaning that Colin is trapped. Gregory can also represent Colin himself as he can't even properly eat with his injury, which was something Colin also mentioned of not being able to do so. We know that Gregory falls injures the hand before he has a chance to see the balloon, which might foreshadow the ending of the episode, when Colin tries to find the answer, only to not get it and be hurt.
Colin comes to the drawing room in a brown vest. The color of the vest reminds me of his pirate coat, and I wonder whether it is basically his "casual armor", the one he wears around his family now, not wanting them to know of his feelings. It is also worth pointing out that when Colin walks in, he goes to his brothers who sit seperately from the sisters and the mother, almost to shocase Colin's tendency to trying to follow male squad, even the toxic one.
Our dearest prophetess Hyacinth strikes again by mentioning Penelope. It is worth noting that while Colin is distressed, he still realizes that he likely hurt Eloise by commenting on Lady Whistledown finding about their ordeal, and seems to attempt to follow her to make sure she is fine. Colin can't refer to Penelope as his or as a friend, so he opts to refers to her as the acquaintance of the whole family and sips the tea this time. Colin's drinking is a recurring gag this season, showcasing his growing attraction towards Pen.
From the Queen's and Agatha's meeting, we get an interesting gag of the male suitors being thrown. Penelope fell for Colin when he fell from the horse, which is rather cheeky to remember when the one falling this time is Debling.
Penelope leaves her room just in time for her to a) be reminded of the importance of producing an heir, b) be reminded of her reasons she intended to find a husband, hearing her sisters. I believe that it is Eloise's comment that sparks Pen's hope to find a husband once again, as she gets her blessing. Penelope knew she couldn't stay away for long, but to keep her column, not because she gained hope.
It is quite reasonable that Penelope chose to promenade after week in her room. We are left to wonder why Colin choose to do so and if he was perhaps trying to see her. However, from his expression, I do believe that he was surprised to see her. Colin is the one who follows Pen this episode, showcasing the change in the dynamic. Penelope often followed him instead in the previous episode.
Penelope's styling seems very childish, with her ribbons, hair to the side and pinkish and lilac tone of her dress, perhaps a visual way for her to distance herself from the ordeal and that kiss. Colin is wearing the style akin to previous seasons, with his armor being left home. They are children once again. The willow the meet under might symbolize innocence, protection, childhood, as it somewhat shields them from the Ton. The long distance show might allude to them suddenly feeling a gap between themselves, or perhaps a need to keep their distance after the whole ordeal.
It is cheeky that Penelope relies on her double identity when asked for a reasoning. She might have just as easily pointed out the Ton itself, instead, she uses Lady Whistledown she disparaged in the last episode. Just as Colin refered to the Pen in regards to all Bridgertons, Penelope refers to her and his family regarding the embarassment. Pen thanking Colin for his kindness is of course very funny paraller to her comment about his cruelty in episode 1; a comment which might have hurt him the same.
Debling starts the episode as the hunted "prey", not only as Cressida (and later Pen) is after him, but by himself, as he wants to find a hiding place. However, Debling of course changes into the "predator" later.
Stowell House in general does not seem particularly inviting. It either displays mirrors or the "prey" on the walls, signalling Pen's entrapment. Penelope does not hide even in her corner, where she is found by the toxic buddies.
Penelope assures her mother that Ton will likely be distracted by the new scandal. Portia of course does not know that it is Penelope herself who is Lady Whistledown, and who might have a chance to publish such a scandal, but only if Pen leaves her hideout. Pen later offers social contagion as a joke, which might be a fun way of alluding to her double identity, as she holds a bit of power regarding social assesment.
Mirror imagery is quite cheeky regarding our leads and Debling. Pen's back is seen in mirror behind her, which might signal that she is currently social outcast, still uncomfortable after the incident, or visual signal of Pen hiding her identity.
With Colin's arrival, it is Pen who looks at him first, just when he looks at Eloise. Colin notices and continues to look, while Pen looks away and hides as a "prey". Colin turns away and we see a glimpse of him in the mirror. Pen fell first, but he fell harder. Colin flees the mirror, as he will continue to do so in this episode, following her.
Debling does not mind the mirror at all (something he seems to share with Agatha and Benedict) and as Pen becomes more comfortable, the mirror seems to dissapear from the shot. It is worth pointing out that both Colin and Debling have waistcoats with yellow ornaments, alluding to both of them being interested in Pen.
Colin is accompanied by the candles both when Eloise mentions Penelope, as well as when he is "assessing his pupil", alluding to his growing love. I do not think it was unintentional to have Alice mention his "kindheartedness", after Penelope thanks him for his "kindness". Not only do both mention the possibility of a different suitor, they also use similar language when speaking of Colin's role in it, rubbing the idea deeper.
Even more cheeky is that Alice does not refer to Penelope by name, only as a pupil, while Colin comments on it as "gossip" finding their home. Colin refers to Whistledown when asked about Penelope; while Pen is, of course, both subject of the gossip as well as its source as lady Whistledown.
Eloise'a and Cressida's scene alludes to Eloise walking to the crossroads and choosing a path she might regret. Eloise does not help Cressida much, but it is enough for her to easily win over Pen at first.
Finally, we get likely the most in face reference of the episode: Hawkins Balloon, with its blue and yellow stripes. It likely symbolizes our leads, with Colin seeing the balloon (aka embracing the opportunity of them becoming a couple), while Pen ignores it in favour of Debling.
Colin arrives in his armor, aka with his pirate coat firmly on. But his defence crumble rather quickly. He follows Penelope immedietely. At first, he follows her instruction to focus on sweets, but more and more into the scene, he just begins to look at Pen, the only exception is when Pen compliments Debling, as he feels a need to hide his feelings.
Colin loses his battle while seeing Pen eating the cake. The cake symbolized sex even back in 102, when Pen asks Marina how did she become pregnant. What is striking, though, that the next time Colin is shown on screen, he took off his coat and seems to finish Penelope's cake. Colin lets his armor down, just before his heroic moment.
The balloon is representation of a human attempt to "triumph" over the nature, to "conquer the wind". Funnily, as Colin with the help of his squad protects the balloon and wins over the wind, he loses his own battle against it internally, as the wind represents his desire for Penelope. Colin finds courage and allows himself to be vulnerable (by leaving the pirate coat, his armor, behind in the arms of one of his toxic buddies), only for him to find Penelope in Debling's embrace. Eloise and Cressida's remarks might be quite cruel foreshadowing for the later events. "It is good thing no one was injured." "Who says I wasn't?"
The distress of Colin at Innovations Ball is implied with his darker waistcoat, bare neck and him adjusting his jacket. Colin attempts his best to smile for Eloise, but it is a rather unsuccesful attempt. If I dare say, Colin seems like he is attending funeral. His question whether a man can be pensive is rather interesting, not only as it is pun on Penelope's name, but as Colin asks basically if he can be himself.
Penelope and Portia ignore the lamp, the sorce of fire and light, which I would argue, represents the love between Pen and Colin.
Benedict refers to Francesca as "his shield" from the debutantes, and we see Benedict succeeding in fleeing the debutantes with the sister by his side. Eloise, on the other hand, leaves Colin to them, leaving him "unprotected". This is hammered with Violet, who without the children by her side, becomes the target of Marcus. It is no wonder Francesca finds her man when she is allowed to return to her familiar shadows, with fireplace representing love, passion and desire once again. Benedict, too, fails to "battle the nature", as he finds himself in the embrace of his newest partner, after he meets her at the staircase, with her looking down on him.
As the debutantes ask Colin if he is as heroic on the dancefloor, Colin moves his head instead of answering, while we get the shot of Pen holding her own dancecard. It is quite clear. Colin is losing his chance.
While Penelope's and Cressida's race is for comedic effect, it showcases that a lot of times, women fight over guys they might even want, just because they fear someone else will snatch them. While Cressida is pressured to be married, no one points out that she almost married Jack last season, someone who turned out to be a schemer. Daphne won her own "race", only to end up with Simon. Cressida fails to gain Colin's attention in season 1 and 2 mostly due to her treatment of Penelope and Daphne.
Penelope finds herself on the crossroads between Colin and Debling. She chooses to look at Colin, showcasing to the audience that Pen is romantic at heart. While Colin answers the question of debutantes, he is in fact encouraging himself, but as he can't help but look at her, she takes it as his confirmation of wishing her good luck as a mentor. Just as Pen unknowingly let Colin down in willow scene with her words, Colin just done the same. Cheekily, Debling asks whether Pen has trouble with the balloon, while she answers "not at present". As she gave up on Colin in that instance.
Penelope herself pretends to love nature to secure herself a naturalist, ignoring her own desire to be with Colin. Ironically, she secures the naturalist by openly stating she does not really care about nature, when she cares about what nature represents in this episode. Debling giving Pen lemonade ties narratively to Pen leaving the lemonade at the table during the Full-Moon ball, as well as her leaving it at drawing scene with Colin.
I believe that Debling caught on Colin's feelings at this instant. The reason I believe so is that Pen's dance card was still blank and Pen gave Colin time to react. Debling did not ask Penelope for dance beforehand, and she hoped that Colin would speak... which is something Colin might have realized once Penelope gives Debling his hand and dance card is visible to him.
2024.06.09 15:45 rwhj96 What are your thoughts on prescription testosterone?
Hi everyone! I've seen a psychiatrist for depression, anxiety, and nightmares for a few years now. I recently found my testosterone is significantly low.
They referred me to a urologist who ran their own set of tests and confirmed the low testosterone.
They told me I have 4 options: Clomid, a fertility drug which is supposed to help the body naturally improve testosterone, or testosterone in the form of a gel, injection, or pill.
The problem with the testosterone is twofold: 1) It causes testicular shrinkage, and 2) They said if I go on testosterone, the body will stop producing it naturally on its own.
I opted for Clomid, and naturally, insurance doesn't cover it and I can't afford $150 a month.
Has anyone ever taken testosterone? What was your experience? I don't want to be on it forever, and admittedly l'm not fond of testicular shrinkage. I'll be honest, idc-they're not big as is. I don't want them to be smaller.
On the other hand, if it improves my mental health, it's worth it.
What do y'all think?
submitted by rwhj96 to malementalhealth [link] [comments]
They referred me to a urologist who ran their own set of tests and confirmed the low testosterone.
They told me I have 4 options: Clomid, a fertility drug which is supposed to help the body naturally improve testosterone, or testosterone in the form of a gel, injection, or pill.
The problem with the testosterone is twofold: 1) It causes testicular shrinkage, and 2) They said if I go on testosterone, the body will stop producing it naturally on its own.
I opted for Clomid, and naturally, insurance doesn't cover it and I can't afford $150 a month.
Has anyone ever taken testosterone? What was your experience? I don't want to be on it forever, and admittedly l'm not fond of testicular shrinkage. I'll be honest, idc-they're not big as is. I don't want them to be smaller.
On the other hand, if it improves my mental health, it's worth it.
What do y'all think?
2024.06.09 15:44 Many-Barber6989 (LONG) Are Males really Inferior & Unhelpful Reproduction-Wise?
Yeah yeah, an old saying, reproduction isn't the purpose of life and doesn't determine value, but let me explain...
So, I am a 16 Year Old, who was introduced to ""feminism"" somewhere in 2022 (I think), thanks to a friend of mine. It turns out, this was actually Mysandry, in the sense that he shared how some of these "feminists" were trying to get rid of men in reproduction, one example being the "fact" that their vaginas will evolve into penises and clone themselves, except that would probably make them hermaphrodites and should happen with men too...
Nonetheless, I was "invested", since this gave me an idea about the two sexes (which would be used for a fictional piece in the end, just with a bit of spiece from our Universe, lol), since I am quite the brain stormer, not bragging or narcissism, I just come up with a lot ideas in general. But as time went on, I started to suffer from overthoughts and the amount of information I've found, including myths like "We were all Female", "Females came before Males", "Women have stronger legs", "You're Genetically Superior and Flawless due to XX", "Men are the weaker sex", "You were inside your Mother who was inside your Grandmother", "Inteligence is Mother Only", among other things, although that last one wasn't as common though). There are still fools, especially on Quora, who believe that all embryos start out as females, and just look at some individuals on that site like Anonymous04, horrors! I also tried to ask ChatGPT, but it's pretty much declining and INFURIATING! SO MANY WRONG ANSWERS! SOMETIMES IT'S OUTRIGHT LAZY!
These moments got soooo BAD, that I: -concerned my parents -made my dad think I was... drugged (since I acted blank when I was working with him once) -wasted my school-off week by overthinking -replied to many answers that ANNOYED me (arguably still do, and embarrassed myself, perhaps) -kept talking to my online friends-couldn't change the topic and basically made it my entire personality or routine for like the past few weeks (maybe even months!) -had an existencial crisis, outbursts, screaming, $u!c!d@l thoughts, etc. -and evenbecame skeptical and "mad" at God (yes, and screw off with the atheism)
Needless to say... It's quite complicated with me and I could go in-depth a lot more, but I managed to recover from most issues. However, before I settle things up, I need to settle one more thing, and that is reproduction. As far as we know, both Males & Females exist to reproduce genetically diverse offsprings, the only difference is their investments, Females for Offspring Support & Males for Competition or Attraction.
While I've noted and saved many things to read later on (like Seminal Fluids doing much more than just transfering Sperm Cells), I am still a bit concerned, stressed and annoyed, cause it just feels like females are the more favored sex in like existence (oversimplication to say it like that, really), and so, I'd like to ask some few things... Although I am definitely gonna give a lot due to overthinking and concerns:
1.Nucleous: So, as far as we know, both Ovum & Sperm Nuclei fuse to form a Zygote, a new life. Both parents guide the development of the child's characteristics and functions, however, APPERANTLY Ovum Cells have been illustrated to have a 'Nucleous' in their 'Nucleus', and turns out this is some sh!t that Zygotes "apperantly need". It's from this jackshit article from 2008: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2265587/#:\~:text=Sperm%20have%20no%20nucleoli%2C%20so,oocyte%20for%20its%20nucleolar%20beginnings. But allas, does this really make sense? No other information has been found or mentioned anywhere else. There's the "Germinal Vesicle" (Nucleus) and the "Germinal Spot" (Nuclelous), but apperantly when the Ovum goes through M II or however it was, the Germinal Vesicle breaks down and dissolves/mixes with the Cytoplasm or so. So is the Germinal Spot the actual Nucleus, and the "Germinal Vesicle" is just one of the ""expensive ingredients"" of the Ovum? Sperm Cells apperantly have Nuclear Vascoles, are those influencal?
2.Cytoplasm: Upon researching more and talking to some Chat Bots (for thes sake of sanity... or INsanity), does the Cytoplasm actually create and give rise to our cells and tissues or is that an outdaded misunderstanding, and it's main & actual function is to SUPPORT the development of the cells created by both parents? ChatGPT has also said that it also gives Building Blocks, Energy, Cell Growth & Differentiation or some confusing crap, but are those words actually referring to the processes of the Zygote's more stable and rapid growth? Is it true that this Cytoplasm is the Cytoplasm in our cells, or since it decreases, is it easily replaced by the production of our cells (combination of mom and dad, as we know)?
3.Organelles: Cytoplasmic components that are apart of the Cytoplasm' support, but again, are those organelles still the same as those in our cells? Shouldn't they decrease like the Cytoplasm and be created by our cells again since (and I am using Google Searches, cuz yes): ---Ribosomes apperantly originate from our Nucleo-lus? ---Lysosomes are formed by the fusion of transport vesciles budded from the trans Golgi network with endosomes ---Endosomes form by the inagination of the plasma membrance and are trigger by the activation of cell surface receptors ---Golgi Bodies originate from the endoplasmic reticulum ---The endoplasmic reticulum originates from the outer membrance of the nuclear envelop during cell division and among other things, but is Mitochondria the only organelle that manages to stay in by it's high number and self reproduction? Is Mitochondria like 90% of the Ovum's organelles hopefully thinking and the other organelles are a small amount compared to the Mitochondria?
4.Cytoskeleton: Apperantly, that is also a thing and it's not an organelle, but apperantly it also has evolved from prokaryotic cytomotive filaments. Even then, Sperm Cells apperantly have a highly specialized cytoskeletal organization or cytoskeletal proteins (like actin, tubulin and spectrin), so?...
5.RNA: Do we inherit more RNA from mom due to the freaking egg, or is it irrelevant because it is transient as the embryo starts to produce it's own RNA and proteins? But ChatGPT has also said this crap: "This maternal RNA helps to jump-start the developmental processes until the Zygote's own genome can take over". It has been said that Sperm has "vanishingly small" amount of RNA compared to the Ovum, but then there have been studies that Non-Coding RNA or so can influence Embryo Development or that Sperm delivers a complex population of RNAs to the Oocyte. Based on a Google Research, I've found this: "6871 proteins have been identified and reported in Sperm, 1376 in the Oocyte and 1300 in the Blastocyst. With a deeper analysis of the sperm proteome, 103 proteins with known roles in the processes of fertilization and 93 with roles in early embryo development have been identified." Can the RNA in seminal fluids/plasma be influential or inherited too? Isn't RNA small?
9.Paternal Contributions: It has been depicted and said that only the head of the Sperm gets delivered, but apperantly there are articles that say that this is also a misconception that the entire sperm enters the egg, with the assumptions being that the Paternal MtDNA not being transmitted, but apperantly, the Sperm Mitochondria actually enters the egg but needs to be destroyed to prevent issues like the Mitochondrial diseases. With this in mind though, what else does the Sperm contribute to the embryo? Centrioles, Centrosomes & the Microtubule System & Microspindle-... Apperatus needed for mitosis? are done by the Sperm too, and it also brings the Chemical Signal for the Egg to activate it's metabolism and complete meiosis? Does this chemical also do anything like give calcuim to the Egg or anything else too? If the entire sperm enters the egg, what else could it bring to the embryonic development? Can there be any paternal contributions to milk like the Y chromosome presence in women bodyparts due to boy pregnancy and the high estrogen, prolactin & a bit of progestertone in seminal fluids? Are there more Sperm components and organelles that we can't easily observe? Is it possible that the absorbtion of all Sperm Cells can benefit the cells of females if the tail has more than 1000 proteins? Does the Journey, Agility, Adapatations, Variability, Motility & Penentration of the Sperm influence the Nucleus (therefore Embryo) in any way? What about the penentrations of multiple sperms (even if they won't enter or mege with the egg)? Or am I just fantasing, and reality is cruel? What about the chromatin condensation sperm? Are sperm cells, and therefore males, just doomed to be not helpful and more limted?...
10.Male Investment: We know that Males invest time into various behaviors, but how exactly does this help the species? Do they optimize & improve their genes? Do they evolve new traits? Do they mutate more? Are males a great investment for evolution or adaptability? Anything else unique? If more females than males have reproduced, does that mean that males are inferior or not helpful and that nature prefers females more? If males and sperm cells are simpler, does that mean they are inferior, disadvantaged or not special? Do non-reproducing males still help with something (assuming they haven't died)? Do you need to almost always (excluding species like Orange Cats and Calico Cats) have a 50/50 amount of both sexes so you don't cause genetic problems even if fewer males will pass on their genes?
That's all I really have to say, I probably sound like I am being dramatic, impulsive and immature, but I really have been overthinking and so, I'd like if some help could be given. This sure was long, but I think I might have given something interesting and such. I thought this could be used as a last resort to settle this before I grow up more. I hope I didn't seem bad or anything like that. I am just in a "scared and confused" situation from the amount of stuff I've seen. ChatGPT really isn't good when it comes to mental health, lol
submitted by Many-Barber6989 to malementalhealth [link] [comments]
So, I am a 16 Year Old, who was introduced to ""feminism"" somewhere in 2022 (I think), thanks to a friend of mine. It turns out, this was actually Mysandry, in the sense that he shared how some of these "feminists" were trying to get rid of men in reproduction, one example being the "fact" that their vaginas will evolve into penises and clone themselves, except that would probably make them hermaphrodites and should happen with men too...
Nonetheless, I was "invested", since this gave me an idea about the two sexes (which would be used for a fictional piece in the end, just with a bit of spiece from our Universe, lol), since I am quite the brain stormer, not bragging or narcissism, I just come up with a lot ideas in general. But as time went on, I started to suffer from overthoughts and the amount of information I've found, including myths like "We were all Female", "Females came before Males", "Women have stronger legs", "You're Genetically Superior and Flawless due to XX", "Men are the weaker sex", "You were inside your Mother who was inside your Grandmother", "Inteligence is Mother Only", among other things, although that last one wasn't as common though). There are still fools, especially on Quora, who believe that all embryos start out as females, and just look at some individuals on that site like Anonymous04, horrors! I also tried to ask ChatGPT, but it's pretty much declining and INFURIATING! SO MANY WRONG ANSWERS! SOMETIMES IT'S OUTRIGHT LAZY!
These moments got soooo BAD, that I: -concerned my parents -made my dad think I was... drugged (since I acted blank when I was working with him once) -wasted my school-off week by overthinking -replied to many answers that ANNOYED me (arguably still do, and embarrassed myself, perhaps) -kept talking to my online friends-couldn't change the topic and basically made it my entire personality or routine for like the past few weeks (maybe even months!) -had an existencial crisis, outbursts, screaming, $u!c!d@l thoughts, etc. -and evenbecame skeptical and "mad" at God (yes, and screw off with the atheism)
Needless to say... It's quite complicated with me and I could go in-depth a lot more, but I managed to recover from most issues. However, before I settle things up, I need to settle one more thing, and that is reproduction. As far as we know, both Males & Females exist to reproduce genetically diverse offsprings, the only difference is their investments, Females for Offspring Support & Males for Competition or Attraction.
While I've noted and saved many things to read later on (like Seminal Fluids doing much more than just transfering Sperm Cells), I am still a bit concerned, stressed and annoyed, cause it just feels like females are the more favored sex in like existence (oversimplication to say it like that, really), and so, I'd like to ask some few things... Although I am definitely gonna give a lot due to overthinking and concerns:
1.Nucleous: So, as far as we know, both Ovum & Sperm Nuclei fuse to form a Zygote, a new life. Both parents guide the development of the child's characteristics and functions, however, APPERANTLY Ovum Cells have been illustrated to have a 'Nucleous' in their 'Nucleus', and turns out this is some sh!t that Zygotes "apperantly need". It's from this jackshit article from 2008: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2265587/#:\~:text=Sperm%20have%20no%20nucleoli%2C%20so,oocyte%20for%20its%20nucleolar%20beginnings. But allas, does this really make sense? No other information has been found or mentioned anywhere else. There's the "Germinal Vesicle" (Nucleus) and the "Germinal Spot" (Nuclelous), but apperantly when the Ovum goes through M II or however it was, the Germinal Vesicle breaks down and dissolves/mixes with the Cytoplasm or so. So is the Germinal Spot the actual Nucleus, and the "Germinal Vesicle" is just one of the ""expensive ingredients"" of the Ovum? Sperm Cells apperantly have Nuclear Vascoles, are those influencal?
2.Cytoplasm: Upon researching more and talking to some Chat Bots (for thes sake of sanity... or INsanity), does the Cytoplasm actually create and give rise to our cells and tissues or is that an outdaded misunderstanding, and it's main & actual function is to SUPPORT the development of the cells created by both parents? ChatGPT has also said that it also gives Building Blocks, Energy, Cell Growth & Differentiation or some confusing crap, but are those words actually referring to the processes of the Zygote's more stable and rapid growth? Is it true that this Cytoplasm is the Cytoplasm in our cells, or since it decreases, is it easily replaced by the production of our cells (combination of mom and dad, as we know)?
3.Organelles: Cytoplasmic components that are apart of the Cytoplasm' support, but again, are those organelles still the same as those in our cells? Shouldn't they decrease like the Cytoplasm and be created by our cells again since (and I am using Google Searches, cuz yes): ---Ribosomes apperantly originate from our Nucleo-lus? ---Lysosomes are formed by the fusion of transport vesciles budded from the trans Golgi network with endosomes ---Endosomes form by the inagination of the plasma membrance and are trigger by the activation of cell surface receptors ---Golgi Bodies originate from the endoplasmic reticulum ---The endoplasmic reticulum originates from the outer membrance of the nuclear envelop during cell division and among other things, but is Mitochondria the only organelle that manages to stay in by it's high number and self reproduction? Is Mitochondria like 90% of the Ovum's organelles hopefully thinking and the other organelles are a small amount compared to the Mitochondria?
4.Cytoskeleton: Apperantly, that is also a thing and it's not an organelle, but apperantly it also has evolved from prokaryotic cytomotive filaments. Even then, Sperm Cells apperantly have a highly specialized cytoskeletal organization or cytoskeletal proteins (like actin, tubulin and spectrin), so?...
5.RNA: Do we inherit more RNA from mom due to the freaking egg, or is it irrelevant because it is transient as the embryo starts to produce it's own RNA and proteins? But ChatGPT has also said this crap: "This maternal RNA helps to jump-start the developmental processes until the Zygote's own genome can take over". It has been said that Sperm has "vanishingly small" amount of RNA compared to the Ovum, but then there have been studies that Non-Coding RNA or so can influence Embryo Development or that Sperm delivers a complex population of RNAs to the Oocyte. Based on a Google Research, I've found this: "6871 proteins have been identified and reported in Sperm, 1376 in the Oocyte and 1300 in the Blastocyst. With a deeper analysis of the sperm proteome, 103 proteins with known roles in the processes of fertilization and 93 with roles in early embryo development have been identified." Can the RNA in seminal fluids/plasma be influential or inherited too? Isn't RNA small?
- Is most of our makeup matrilineal and are we therefore more related, connected or like our mothers???!!
- Epi-Genetics: Is it true that epi-genetics tend to favor mothers more? ChatFuckingGPT has said that RNA can influence certain aspects of cellular function and gene expression, and that pregnancy and even nursing can cause genes to be expressed or some sh!t, but aren't there studies that say that Mammals are more like their fathers (even if outdaded) and that the sex determination & even seminal fluids can cause gene expression too? Do mothers give us more gene expressions? Are we more like our mothers because of the gene expressions? Or are these outdaded myths?!
9.Paternal Contributions: It has been depicted and said that only the head of the Sperm gets delivered, but apperantly there are articles that say that this is also a misconception that the entire sperm enters the egg, with the assumptions being that the Paternal MtDNA not being transmitted, but apperantly, the Sperm Mitochondria actually enters the egg but needs to be destroyed to prevent issues like the Mitochondrial diseases. With this in mind though, what else does the Sperm contribute to the embryo? Centrioles, Centrosomes & the Microtubule System & Microspindle-... Apperatus needed for mitosis? are done by the Sperm too, and it also brings the Chemical Signal for the Egg to activate it's metabolism and complete meiosis? Does this chemical also do anything like give calcuim to the Egg or anything else too? If the entire sperm enters the egg, what else could it bring to the embryonic development? Can there be any paternal contributions to milk like the Y chromosome presence in women bodyparts due to boy pregnancy and the high estrogen, prolactin & a bit of progestertone in seminal fluids? Are there more Sperm components and organelles that we can't easily observe? Is it possible that the absorbtion of all Sperm Cells can benefit the cells of females if the tail has more than 1000 proteins? Does the Journey, Agility, Adapatations, Variability, Motility & Penentration of the Sperm influence the Nucleus (therefore Embryo) in any way? What about the penentrations of multiple sperms (even if they won't enter or mege with the egg)? Or am I just fantasing, and reality is cruel? What about the chromatin condensation sperm? Are sperm cells, and therefore males, just doomed to be not helpful and more limted?...
10.Male Investment: We know that Males invest time into various behaviors, but how exactly does this help the species? Do they optimize & improve their genes? Do they evolve new traits? Do they mutate more? Are males a great investment for evolution or adaptability? Anything else unique? If more females than males have reproduced, does that mean that males are inferior or not helpful and that nature prefers females more? If males and sperm cells are simpler, does that mean they are inferior, disadvantaged or not special? Do non-reproducing males still help with something (assuming they haven't died)? Do you need to almost always (excluding species like Orange Cats and Calico Cats) have a 50/50 amount of both sexes so you don't cause genetic problems even if fewer males will pass on their genes?
That's all I really have to say, I probably sound like I am being dramatic, impulsive and immature, but I really have been overthinking and so, I'd like if some help could be given. This sure was long, but I think I might have given something interesting and such. I thought this could be used as a last resort to settle this before I grow up more. I hope I didn't seem bad or anything like that. I am just in a "scared and confused" situation from the amount of stuff I've seen. ChatGPT really isn't good when it comes to mental health, lol
2024.06.09 15:29 Other-Leg1898 Private sector annual enrollment
I am 60% service connected as of this year and have enrolled in VHA. I know that I can get all of my medical needs covered by the VA even if not service connected.
I am happy with my current private health care insurance but I need to retire either this year or next and at that point I’ll likely use the VHA for all my needs.
My question is that every year there is a question on my company enrollment form asking if I can obtain health care elsewhere (not sure if it says health care insurance or health care) and if so they charge a surcharge to enroll in my coverage with them. What do you guys answer in this situation?
Thanks
submitted by Other-Leg1898 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]
I am happy with my current private health care insurance but I need to retire either this year or next and at that point I’ll likely use the VHA for all my needs.
My question is that every year there is a question on my company enrollment form asking if I can obtain health care elsewhere (not sure if it says health care insurance or health care) and if so they charge a surcharge to enroll in my coverage with them. What do you guys answer in this situation?
Thanks
2024.06.09 14:37 Candid-Juice-4005 Hospice and insurance.
Curious about something that I’d like to ask, not as much as serious topic as everything else in here.
I work for a DME delivery company, I chose this because I wanted to help out in some form granted It’s very hands off, and I don’t have the interest in being a Hospice Nurse (if you are one, you have my full respect! It’s a job I can’t fathom doing mentally)
Anyways, does anyone have any idea what insurance “pays” these companies for their equipment usage? Stuff like concentrators, Brodas, beds etc?
The only reason I ask is because the company I work for we have a rotation of drivers who are “on-call” for stat orders (O2,cpap/bipap etc) meaning it’s almost a constant 24 hours job once a week, but some of our travel is 1.5 hours away or more, which if it’s that urgent emergency care should be too priority.
I’m starting to see that it’s only a money ploy for the “company” for on call, and also how quick after someone passes we fetch the equipment and just re rent it out to the next patient. (Mind you some drivers don’t even clean or test it, it’ll go from one patient directly to another), I think I care a little too much to be in this job (on my way out Of it anyways) but I make it a thing that one of our patients I deal with passes on, to remember their name, and out of respect for them I read their obituary.
submitted by Candid-Juice-4005 to hospice [link] [comments]
I work for a DME delivery company, I chose this because I wanted to help out in some form granted It’s very hands off, and I don’t have the interest in being a Hospice Nurse (if you are one, you have my full respect! It’s a job I can’t fathom doing mentally)
Anyways, does anyone have any idea what insurance “pays” these companies for their equipment usage? Stuff like concentrators, Brodas, beds etc?
The only reason I ask is because the company I work for we have a rotation of drivers who are “on-call” for stat orders (O2,cpap/bipap etc) meaning it’s almost a constant 24 hours job once a week, but some of our travel is 1.5 hours away or more, which if it’s that urgent emergency care should be too priority.
I’m starting to see that it’s only a money ploy for the “company” for on call, and also how quick after someone passes we fetch the equipment and just re rent it out to the next patient. (Mind you some drivers don’t even clean or test it, it’ll go from one patient directly to another), I think I care a little too much to be in this job (on my way out Of it anyways) but I make it a thing that one of our patients I deal with passes on, to remember their name, and out of respect for them I read their obituary.
2024.06.09 14:22 Bolt4Life I tore my quad about 24 hours ago. I cant get surgery until Monday or Tuesday. I have extreme chills. Is this normal for torn muscles?
TLDR: I tore my quad. Got discharged from hospital with oxy to hold me over until my insurance, Kaiser, can do surgery later this week. I am bed ridden and extremely cold to the point of shivering constantly.
Long version:
A little over 24 hours ago I was at a Linkin Park tribute band at the House of Blues. The floor was extremely wet and a mosh started forming around my group. Someone shoved me and when I planted my leg to catch myself left leg slid on the ground and I fell to the floor. People tried to help me up and I immidiately fell on the ground again x2. My friends then held me under each arm and took me away to get out of the concert floor. That is when I realized the pain became the first ever 10/10 and I couldn't help but cry for the first time ever from an injury. Paramedics and firefighters were called by staff. I was taken to the hospital for about 12 hours via ambulance. There I got an x-ray and CT scan. CT scan confirmed what was expected. A torn quad.
My wife ended up driving to the hospital and relieved my boys to head home who were all with me.
I was given a prescription of oxicotin 5mg that I'm supposed to take every 6 hours for pain management along with ibuprofen between oxis.
I've been bed ridden outside of having to pee. My torn leg has swelled up pretty significantly and Monday or Tuesday can't come soon enough.
Something I've been having is extreme coldness / chills. The same type you get when you have the flu sometimes. I've torn my shoulder before and never had chills like this. Are the chills normal for torn large muscles like this? I'm not overly concerned because my wife and 5 year old are doing everything to make my life comfortable right now. I just want to rule out anything super weird regarding the chills. We usually keep the house around 70 degrees and I'm perfectly fine. The house was/is 72 today and I'm getting these chills lol.
I'll be scowering google after I make this post but I'm sure WebMD is going to tell me it's nothing or a sign I'm going to die. I'm hoping someone with a similar experience has some insight.
Thank you for any replies!
submitted by Bolt4Life to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
Long version:
A little over 24 hours ago I was at a Linkin Park tribute band at the House of Blues. The floor was extremely wet and a mosh started forming around my group. Someone shoved me and when I planted my leg to catch myself left leg slid on the ground and I fell to the floor. People tried to help me up and I immidiately fell on the ground again x2. My friends then held me under each arm and took me away to get out of the concert floor. That is when I realized the pain became the first ever 10/10 and I couldn't help but cry for the first time ever from an injury. Paramedics and firefighters were called by staff. I was taken to the hospital for about 12 hours via ambulance. There I got an x-ray and CT scan. CT scan confirmed what was expected. A torn quad.
My wife ended up driving to the hospital and relieved my boys to head home who were all with me.
I was given a prescription of oxicotin 5mg that I'm supposed to take every 6 hours for pain management along with ibuprofen between oxis.
I've been bed ridden outside of having to pee. My torn leg has swelled up pretty significantly and Monday or Tuesday can't come soon enough.
Something I've been having is extreme coldness / chills. The same type you get when you have the flu sometimes. I've torn my shoulder before and never had chills like this. Are the chills normal for torn large muscles like this? I'm not overly concerned because my wife and 5 year old are doing everything to make my life comfortable right now. I just want to rule out anything super weird regarding the chills. We usually keep the house around 70 degrees and I'm perfectly fine. The house was/is 72 today and I'm getting these chills lol.
I'll be scowering google after I make this post but I'm sure WebMD is going to tell me it's nothing or a sign I'm going to die. I'm hoping someone with a similar experience has some insight.
Thank you for any replies!
2024.06.09 14:10 espressoBump I have no idea if I used "Advance Premium Tax Credit (APTC)" how can I find out?
Brief background:
I was born in Massachusetts and adopted by my guardian at 16. Once I hit 18, I paid for everything on my own, went to college, and entirely moved out at 20. I lived abroad and used my guardian's address in CT as my home for voting and taxes. When I came home, I lived in CT, then CA, and then back to CT. I was unemployed and used whatever marketplace health offered to me. This was between 2018 and 2020. In September 2020, I got a job in NC and got complete health coverage through my employer. My wife is an immigrant and got her temporary permanent residence in 2021. We used my employer's health insurance and are not supposed to use welfare as the immigrant is not supposed to use any government assistance.
My company is removing spouses from our plan, so I'm using MA's Health Connector to look for insurance. I have no idea if I used an "Advance Premium Tax Credit (APTC)" while I was in CA or CT. I'm going through my files now to look for form "8962," but I'm hoping there is an easier way. Do you have any suggestions on what I can do? Or just in general, do you think I'm going about this the right way or not?
EDIT:
Well, I can't find any records on this, so I'm calling every state in which I lived to see if they have a form on file for me. I started with https://www.healthcare.gov/contact-us/ to cover MA, and they did not have a record. Next I will need to call CA and CT because their health is run on the state level.
submitted by espressoBump to tax [link] [comments]
I was born in Massachusetts and adopted by my guardian at 16. Once I hit 18, I paid for everything on my own, went to college, and entirely moved out at 20. I lived abroad and used my guardian's address in CT as my home for voting and taxes. When I came home, I lived in CT, then CA, and then back to CT. I was unemployed and used whatever marketplace health offered to me. This was between 2018 and 2020. In September 2020, I got a job in NC and got complete health coverage through my employer. My wife is an immigrant and got her temporary permanent residence in 2021. We used my employer's health insurance and are not supposed to use welfare as the immigrant is not supposed to use any government assistance.
My company is removing spouses from our plan, so I'm using MA's Health Connector to look for insurance. I have no idea if I used an "Advance Premium Tax Credit (APTC)" while I was in CA or CT. I'm going through my files now to look for form "8962," but I'm hoping there is an easier way. Do you have any suggestions on what I can do? Or just in general, do you think I'm going about this the right way or not?
EDIT:
Well, I can't find any records on this, so I'm calling every state in which I lived to see if they have a form on file for me. I started with https://www.healthcare.gov/contact-us/ to cover MA, and they did not have a record. Next I will need to call CA and CT because their health is run on the state level.
2024.06.09 12:11 Icy_Huckleberry_814 How do I price/calculation cost?
Hii there I work as a lawyer for a Financial boutique consultancy firm, and we have a beyond ugly website it's not user friendly and lacks professionalism, especially as we are as of now focussing on software.
One of the partners suggest I make a new website, (it's a start/scale up so also do our marketing, cus just lawyering is boring) and then sell it to the company.
I built about 30 seperate url's used a lot of code besides design and made a career page with seperate job listings, forms, event pages with marketing pop ups and banners because we're starting a marketing campaign for an event on monday. Our team page used to consists of just photos and text, I've made a nice gallery with separate pages, everyone's linkedin linked, univeristy, extra activities, publications etc, also made extra pges highligthing new services since our external marketing bureau takes weeks and charges about 400-600 for nearly blank url's witout SEO.
I also installed cookies, analytics, a client portal test pages so clients can check under which legislation they fall. (i developed software for this in my free time and also aim to sell this to the company since my boss requested this but our developers are not on this project yet and he asked if I could write it) it's training software on the legislation we work with. My boss loves it, but what price am I supposed to ask. I spent my freetime working on it. About 90-100 hours.
The seo is impeccable bytheway. It's a massive upgrade in general. It's such a beautifull website that I wish I could share it sith you all. We used to have a blog, but the seo was horrid. So I fixed it all!!
Any advice would be lovely!
submitted by Icy_Huckleberry_814 to webdev [link] [comments]
One of the partners suggest I make a new website, (it's a start/scale up so also do our marketing, cus just lawyering is boring) and then sell it to the company.
I built about 30 seperate url's used a lot of code besides design and made a career page with seperate job listings, forms, event pages with marketing pop ups and banners because we're starting a marketing campaign for an event on monday. Our team page used to consists of just photos and text, I've made a nice gallery with separate pages, everyone's linkedin linked, univeristy, extra activities, publications etc, also made extra pges highligthing new services since our external marketing bureau takes weeks and charges about 400-600 for nearly blank url's witout SEO.
I also installed cookies, analytics, a client portal test pages so clients can check under which legislation they fall. (i developed software for this in my free time and also aim to sell this to the company since my boss requested this but our developers are not on this project yet and he asked if I could write it) it's training software on the legislation we work with. My boss loves it, but what price am I supposed to ask. I spent my freetime working on it. About 90-100 hours.
The seo is impeccable bytheway. It's a massive upgrade in general. It's such a beautifull website that I wish I could share it sith you all. We used to have a blog, but the seo was horrid. So I fixed it all!!
Any advice would be lovely!
2024.06.09 11:00 WaveOfWire This is (not) a Dungeon - Chapter 3
First Prev Next Patreon Ko-fi Discord
PRs: u/anakist & u/BroDogIsMyName
- - - - -
It had been a few weeks since Altier was brought to the run-down shack that his black-scaled companion likely called home, and he could now comfortably say he was accustomed to the…household’s routine. The kobold typically left at the crack of dawn, returned a little after noon, and occasionally left again to forage until nightfall. When the weather was bad or there wasn’t a particular need for something, they half-heartedly chased their rabbit around for a bit, which usually ended with a bout of quiet petting while everyone got ready for the night. It was always amusing to see the energetic side of what he had come to know as a relatively lazy loaf of an animal. As for the routine of the ferrorabbit in question… Well…it was at least more interesting than expected.
Hoppit would begin his own series of activities as soon as his caretaker left—the first of which being a check of every nook and cranny in the shed. He sniffed at anything that caught his interest, varying from morning to morning, but he gave every object or corner its due attention. Once he was satisfied with that, he would eat some of the ragged plants that made up most of his diet, take a drink from his bowl, then jump onto the tro— table and plop himself down, his ears pivoting towards the door. It was hard to say if the lounging spot had been established before Altier’s arrival, but it was somewhat amusing to pretend that the little rabbit was standing guard over his core—if it wasn’t for one particular part of the morning ritual, that is.
Indeed, the ferrorabbit had a habit of licking the obsidian orb that sat in the middle of the room, which thankfully didn’t seem to perturb the system enough to give Altier a headache. He was confused when it first happened, but it was commonplace enough now that he barely acknowledged it. A part of him liked that he was getting attention as a core, even if it was delivered via a strange grooming method. The closest he got to being acknowledged as something other than ‘the dungeon’ was through an unfortunate misunderstanding that he could never properly rectify. He supposed that was hardly worth thinking about now, though; too much time had passed for there to be anyone left to correct. The little oddity of his mornings would have to suffice.
There wasn’t much to comment on as far as the rest of the day’s happenings. Hoppit would end his loafing by shaking his head and ears in a way that filled the silence with soft clacks, give the core a customary tongue bath, then jump off the table to nose his way out of the shed through a hole that was hidden by the storage cart against the wall. Where the rabbit went was anyone’s guess, but he always returned before anyone noticed he was gone, and often did so while covered in small cuts and scratches. Any blood from the lacerations was quickly licked off before it could be seen by the kobold, and in the event that the scaly caretaker happened to return earlier than expected, Hoppit would scurry over to the bundles of blankets to finish the cleanup in secret.
Today looked to be following the usual pattern. The kobold left bright and early with various gardening tools and a wooden pail, and Hoppit had since set off into the great unknown for one reason or another. Hopefully, he returned less injured than usual. It was frustrating to admit that Altier had begun to grow rather fond of the fluffy creature, and seeing the thing come back hurt was bothersome. Was it off looking for food? There wasn’t a whole lot given to it, so that was a possibility, and it could be getting into fights over whatever it found. That still didn’t explain why the animal was so thin, and Altier didn’t have enough to go off of to think of a potential solution. He wanted to help it in some way, like by summoning a creature to act as an escort, or maybe just by manifesting something edible like he once could. No, he could only stare at the ‘Synchronizing…’ that occupied his menu, wishing he had more information to work with.
He never thought he would miss the bombardment of notifications and their lingering presence that filled the edge of his mental vision; at least with that he could surmise enough to hazard some kind of action. Even knowing why the menu was acting the way it did would be a start. Yet, try as he might, there wasn’t a history for him to reference anymore, and he had nothing to work with. He was confident the last message had asked him to ‘accept’ something, then took his befuddled ponderance as an answer, but he was no closer to an explanation for what it wanted, nor why it prompted him in the first place. He just didn’t have another experience to compare against, since nothing like that had ever happened before. Not that he was ever in much of a position to allow it.
The entire purpose of having Altier inhabit a core was for him to become a dungeon of Decay, which entailed all the skeletons, poisons, acids, and whatever else came to mind when one pictured the concept. ‘Living’ creatures were something he only had the chance to experiment with near the beginning of his new existence, though he never dabbled past the first few insects before transitioning to the mindless undead. Having a thinking, feeling, breathing entity touch his core was a rite reserved only for the adventurers and soldiers that bested his trials, and that was usually a painful experience. Now, he had spent what he could only guess was hours being held by a kobold, followed by having a rabbit bump against him, and neither felt like what he came to expect. Instead, both had led to a completely novel reaction from the system. The strange circumstances put him at a bit of a loss as to what it all meant for him.
Sure, he could dismiss the deluge of errors from his companion’s involvement by pointing to the numerous ‘corrupted’ messages before it, and Hoppit was a part of mostly unexplored territory, but the lack of clarity nagged at the back of his mind constantly. Being exposed to activity after potential decades or centuries of unchanging solitude made him despise the informational dead end. If he couldn’t make sense of the rabbit’s circumstances, then he didn’t have much hope of deciphering the reason for why his system was misbehaving so terribly. He also didn't know much about the one who owned the decrepit holdings he was housed inside.
He still wasn’t sure what drove the kobold to take him from the cave. His suspicion of becoming traded goods fell flat after the first week or so, and he hadn’t noticed any cult-like behaviour, which was promising. Granted, a lack of nefarious behaviour didn’t mean there was a lack of nefarious intent, but he didn’t get the impression his companion held that either. The kobold itself didn’t seem quite settled on an opinion of his core, though it was up for debate if the hesitation was due to knowing what he was or not. They seemed to mull something over before bed each night, yet never reached a satisfactory conclusion, staring at the obsidian orb through weary grey eyes until they eventually forced themselves into sleep.
Whatever the underlying reasoning for his abduction was, he had observed enough to know that the kobold didn’t deserve to live in destitution. As beaten as the shed might be, they cared for it as best they could, and did so without a single groan or grimace of complaint. The floors were cleaned with a tattered rag and fresh water, dust was removed regularly, and any stray mess that Hoppit made was dealt with promptly. They even took the time to wipe off his core, which was possibly where the ferrorabbit got the idea to start licking him. The only time Altier had seen discontent from the kobold was when they didn’t find much during their foraging, and thus couldn’t give any treats to the excited and bouncy herbivore.
He wasn’t aware that a creature’s face could make such a painfully broken expression, and he was quick to decide that he never wanted to see it again.
Vexingly, his metaphorical hands were tied; a dungeon could only influence their Domain, and given the state of his system, not even that option was available to him. All he could do was glare at the rotting wooden beams that held up the roof and remember when such an issue didn’t exist. It would have taken a mere flicker of thought and a paltry sum of mana to mend the struts when he was a proper dungeon. He could even outright reinforce the structure by weaving in other materials, leaving the appearance as it was while making everything stronger than iron. Well, he once could. Working with other affinities was something that came to him after absorbing the coloured motes left behind by adventurers, and the accursed stone that stole his mana had taken that ability as well.
An attempt was made anyway, his will ordering the deteriorated wood to absorb any trace metals from the ground, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel the iron or stones beneath the shed like he would have been able to before, all but confirming his suspicion that his connection to the Earth element had slipped away. Nature was much the same; the only way he knew when Hoppit had returned most days was from the subtle noise and the essence of injury. The other attributes—Air, Flame, Luma, Shadow, and so on—were ones he never experimented with to any real extent, so it was less noticeable when he lost his grasp on them. Perhaps they faded early. Either way, all he had left was a waning cognizance of his own alignment, and that wasn’t of much use to him. If he had any appreciable mana income, then perhaps he could do something, but he wasn’t even sure what the upkeep of his current Domain might be. It was entirely possible that he was running on a deficit, which would offer a reason for why his system had been so—
[Do#$@n Ex@#d$%^&d! CRe@#r H-H-H-HoPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP—]
[Errrrrrr—]
[Sy$%^hroni%^$zing…]
[Creeee-tu— Hoppit ha@$ esttttb-hed terrrrrrr-ity f^#% t$e dun@&$n!]
- - - - -
“Well then,” he mumbled to himself, taking in the strange scene behind the shed. For one, he could actually view a small distance beyond the structure now, and two, there was a rather proud-looking Hoppit sitting on his haunches before a pair of significantly less prideful examples of the species. They looked quite a bit bigger than the lazy loaf Altier had come to know, yet they were more cut up and dejected than his furry friend. That answered where the injuries had been coming from, he supposed. Hoppit was probably running off to bash heads with whatever animal population existed here beforehand, and they had only just reached a consensus on who was in charge. Impressive.
One of Hoppit’s ears turned back towards the shed, his head following suit as he gave a lagomorph’s approximation of a ‘Look what I did!’ smile. Altier blanked out mentally, but didn’t have time to question anything before the new leader of the local rabbits imperiously pointed a paw towards the surrounding forest, which was equally surreal to witness. Most surprising of all, the…subordinates? The other ferrorabbits did as commanded, keeping their forms small as they took off into the foliage. Soft clacks came from Hoppit’s pleased shake of his head, then he too left the area with only a slightly lopsided bounce to his stride.
The man-turned-core could only gape at what he saw. Were animals always so…expressive? Had Hoppit heard him? What in the world was happening? Why had Hoppit’s personal conquest led to Altier’s Domain expanding?
He lamented not having fingers, nor temples to rub with them. His system was a garbled mess of errors and inconsistent messages, his residence was falling apart at the seams, his companion was someone who abducted him from the dungeon, yet never did anything past that, and his first real experience with an animal was turning out to be more confusing than he thought possible.
All of this was after an unknown amount of time spent commanding legions of undead to strengthen the very people who he would later learn had lied to and manipulated him, making him into a nightmarish entity just to bolster the power of their forces. He almost missed the days spent gazing out of a mossy window. At least then he knew what to expect.
Nothing made sense anymore.
= = = = =
The soft sound of roots ripping free from soil suddenly stopped, only to be followed by a dull thud of Ceele’s palm slapping against the ground to catch her fall before she landed on her rear. She righted herself with her tail and tossed the stubborn weed into a pile with the others. No matter how many mornings she did this, they always seemed to replace themselves faster than she could remove the pesky things. A sigh slipped from her muzzle as she set about grabbing the next one embedded in the vegetable garden.
Aches and spreading stiffness flared up, but went ignored as she neared the end of her duties, though she was well aware that they would come back with force once she tried to settle down for the day. The impending soreness was an inevitable byproduct of spending so much time working. Still, she knew that if it wasn’t for the kindly old couple that allowed her to call their shed home, she would still be sleeping beneath the stars while making sure nothing tried to get at her Hoppit. Even if it was just a part of the deal, they were owed this much in return, and she would see it done properly.
The sun bore down on her back as she did her usual tasks, which was a departure from the slightly overcast weather as of late. It looked somewhat promising when she checked in the wee hours of the morning, yet as her gardening duties dragged on, so too did the intensity of such a clear sky. A disappointed glance at the empty wooden bucket on the edge of the field was quickly corrected. She hadn’t thought to refill it at the river after watering the crops, and her parched throat was making its protests known, while also reminding her that there wasn’t much water left at home either. One more thing to take care of when she was done.
A gruff cough brought her attention towards the old kobold resting his back against a tree some distance away, safely shaded from the unforgiving rays beaming down. Her displeasure at having yet more to do was hastily wiped away. She was undecided on what to think of the detached audience, but looking so sour while upholding her side of the agreement wouldn’t reflect well on her. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen it. Not that she could tell if he did; he always had the same expression when he watched her work. The elder kobold’s arms were crossed, a finger tapping absently against his bicep, while his tail sat motionless on the grass, the muddy red colour of his scales standing out amongst the greens and browns. ‘Makis,’ was his name, assuming her memory served.
Makis had taken to observing her every so often, usually propping himself against this or that at a distance, the unwavering scowl being as unnerving as it was belying of his age. Somewhat loose skin sagged a bit around his jowls and neck, yet the rest of his face was still taut from how much time he spent examining red-hot metal, and his arms were marred with countless burns and cuts from his profession. He held an oppressive aura, though the crinkles around his eyes and muzzle suggested he smiled as frequently as he glowered, even if Ceele was yet to see the former. There was only the same judgmental expression aimed at her when he was around. She could only hope that he didn’t take offence to some unintended slight, but she didn’t know him well enough to say what might be considered one.
They hadn’t spoken since she took up residence on the outskirts of his land. His wife was the one to introduce them, but it was quickly established that he had no intention of being a chatty individual. He led Ceele to the shed hidden amongst the trees on the edge of the property, then dismissed her with only a grunt coming from the elderly kobold. She supposed that it was for the best. Her experience in socializing was centred around convincing others to employ her, and there hadn’t been much of an opportunity to expand her horizons while living a life on the road. If that had been the end of their interactions, she would have swiftly written the terseness off, but he appeared every few days, taking up residence beneath the shade as he watched her work, never speaking a single word. At least he didn’t openly protest her presence, yet she figured that would be easier to manage. He wouldn’t be such an enigma then.
There wasn’t a whole lot she knew about him besides his penchant for ‘supervision,’ and anything beyond that was what his wife had volunteered during the rare opportunity they had to chat. She was told that Makis worked the smithy out front, and although he had retired from doing so in an official capacity, she could still regularly hear his hammer as she tended to the garden, so she figured he kept himself busy most days. It made her wonder what was so interesting about a vagrant like herself, but when there was so little else to do, she could see how anything could be made worth the attention. It was just him and his wife living in the once bustling home, after all; the couple’s children had long since grown up and made families of their own.
She noticed his gaze shift elsewhere as she tugged yet another stubborn intruder from the soil, his arms falling from across his chest and the perpetually worn displeasure melting to that of curiosity. He wandered off shortly after, and she had to make an effort not to fall onto her tail as the pressure on her shoulders unexpectedly evaporated. Did something happen?
Ceele shook her head free of the distracting thought. It wasn’t her business if he grew bored with watching her work. As long as no one voiced any complaints, she could only assume that she was doing a satisfactory job. Maybe he finally decided that he didn’t need to be so watchful because she was doing well! That could be it, right?
A glance at the somewhat sloppily maintained garden erased the false confidence from her face, but she was just as quick to focus on finishing up, unwilling to allow darker musings to fester. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anything else that needed her intervention. The weeds were all uprooted, the soil was appropriately dampened, and her check for pesky insects or wildlife turned up nothing to worry about. She was free for the rest of the day!
…Or she would be free—as soon as she finished the last of her tasks, anyway.
The black-scaled kobold got up from her crouch unsteadily, shivering and wincing from the pins and needles in her legs. She would have to remember to stretch more often; it was far too easy to forgo that kind of thing just to make the overall work go slightly faster. Her hand reached out to grab the pile of weeds and put them into the bucket as she ran through what needed to be done before she could properly relax. Hoppit’s food needed to be washed, she needed to bathe, and they were running low on water anyway, so she would have to visit the river. Just the thought of dragging herself into the forest again made her muscles protest, but she wouldn’t have the energy to do it later. She forced the smile that had started to fall and took the first of many steps.
- - - - -
The river wasn’t too far away, only taking a few minutes of traipsing through the dense woodlands until she reached her destination. It was an idyllic little spot. The trees thinned out to allow a grassy bank along the water, and there was an appreciably gentle slope from shallows to depths, making for a convenient place to take care of various needs. She had discovered this place during her travels, and it was where a kind older woman found her.
Ceele was washing off at the time, with Hoppit safely taking shelter from the outside underneath the bundled blankets while he waited. The trickle of the stream brushing against rocks covered the sound of footsteps, so she was rather surprised when an aged voice called out to ask if she was okay. Her first reaction was to distance herself and apologize—the why didn’t matter, but she had learned that most people were more lenient of her presence if she seemed apologetic for it, and she usually was. The elderly kobold just laughed at her scrambling, tacking on an assurance that there was no need for modesty. The woman was blind, apparently, which explained how Ceele’s blackened colours hadn’t deterred her.
Strangely enough, there was a comforting sense of ease around the one who introduced herself as Hira. It was a sort of presence that Ceele could only vaguely remember, and it drew her close enough to speak as she finished bathing. The conversation wasn’t anything profound, of course—they hardly delved deeper than surface-level small talk—but Hira lost her smile as she listened to the younger kobold. By the end of it, the old woman posed a series of questions with a dark inflection to her voice, and Ceele struggled to find an answer.
‘Are you tired of looking for something that only slips away? Are you tired of running? Do you really want to be scared and alone?’
If the silence bothered Hira, then it didn’t show. She had simply held out a hand and offered Ceele a way of life that didn’t involve wondering where she would be spending the night, nor entailed cowering in the brush while fearsome predators roamed freely. It would be a simple existence of few fortunes, but it was safe, and it was honest. All she had to do was say yes.
Ceele denied it at first, partially because she knew most people despised Hobbit's species, and partially because she couldn’t shake the offer being too good to be true. Hira was quick to propose a compromise; Ceele could take residence in the gardening shed that had fallen from use, and to satiate the nagging sense of an unfair deal, she would be put in charge of maintaining the garden itself. All Hira wanted was to ‘see’ her favourite space bloom again, since she couldn’t take care of it anymore. The black-scaled kobold stared longingly at where Hoppit was, his little body shivering from the prolonged cold and fear that he would be hurt if he left the blankets hiding him. It was with a heavy guilt that she accepted Hira’s offer, keeping quiet about her true reason for doing so.
That was in the past, however, though she thought about it every time she stopped by and saw the smooth rocks where she and Hira first met. Eventually, she might gather the courage to admit that she was housing a ‘pest’ and beg for forgiveness. Until then, she would just work her hardest to prove it wasn’t a mistake to give her a home. That her endless efforts weren’t meaningless. That Hoppit deserved to be more than a ‘pest.’
That Ceele was more than something she had no control over being.
She cleared her head a bit and started on the reason she came all this way. Her dress was rather easy to wash in the meandering water, and the trees provided a suitable place for it to dry in the sunlight and light breeze. The weeds were fine with a thorough rinse near in the shallows, but taking care of her own hygiene required her to wade farther in, though it only came up to her chest in the middle of the rill. Still, she could scrub off the soil and grime, which was all she really needed. Perhaps some simple soaps would help rid her of the pervasive black that stained her skin and scales, but that was beyond her meagre means for the time being, as well as being mere wishful thinking.
She worked past the dreary mindset that settled in when she allowed it, focusing on how serene the river was. The soft birdsong from the trees helped make for a peaceful experience, and she could feel the somewhat chilled liquid basically pour into the aches and pains throughout her body, washing away the stiffness from spending so long under the unerring sun. It was nice to escape reality and let thoughts drift while held buoyant by calmer waters.
Yet the bliss was short-lived. Even if winter was gone, spring was still far from warming the waters enough for her to laze about for too long. She dragged herself from the soft current and fetched her dress from the low-lying branch she left it to dry on. It was still a touch damp, but it wasn’t anything a bit of time in front of the fireplace wouldn’t fix.
Ceele was only a short distance away from home when she heard a gravelly male voice, but it was the flicker of sight between the trees that made her drop what was in her arms and lunge into a sprint.
Makis stood just outside the gardening shed, a ferrorabbit held at arm’s length by rusty crimson hands placed on the scruff and haunch, the rabbit’s little ears flattened as fear filled its tiny face. Her eyes widened further when she noticed the small stains of blood in his light brown fur. They found out about him. Ephemeral claws of blackness clutched at her soul, ripping the very fabric she was made of as an unseen beast smiled, eager to take yet one more thing from her. Her Hoppit. Her baby. Her everything.
“Hoppit!” she shrieked, her words all but tearing out of her throat in desperation. Frozen blood coursed through her veins, yet poured into exhausted limbs. She broke through the treeline with no regard for the branches slashing against her flesh, panic making each sting fade before it could be processed. The grizzled glare of the older kobold snapped towards her, his usual scowl picking up an actual air of intensity that she never thought could be absent, the promise of violence lurking in his eyes. She skidded to a stop a few paces away, the lump in her throat threatening to clog her airway. “S-stop hurting him!”
“Didn’t,” he barked back, his tone even yet firm. “Cuts ain’t me. I’d’a done worse if’a had ta mind ta.”
The blatant declaration snapped her from blind panic, although his apparent anger didn’t do her fear any favours. “B-but… Then how…”
“‘Hoppit.’ Named it, did’cha?” he grunted, ignoring her confusion and bobbing the rabbit to get her attention again. His gaze shifted back to the animal, the flames of ire cooling slightly. “I was wonderin’ why yer plots ain’t dead yet. Suppose this critter’s why.”
One of her hands hesitantly reached out until she pulled it back, while the other clutched at her chest to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t act rashly. Not while her baby was in his arms. “I—”
“Soft thing, ain’t it,” the elder kobold commented curiously, cutting her off.
“Y-yes?” she returned reluctantly, struggling to stop herself from lashing out to reclaim the ferrorabbit in his grasp.
“Like fine silk.” Makis tipped and tilted the animal, inspecting this and that with a deep-seated frown, all while Hoppit silently looked to her for help. The pit in her stomach grew. She needed to get him back, but how?
Ceele swallowed the dense dread as she tried to formulate some sort of plan, stumbling over her words and forced smile. “I-it’s nice! Isn’t it nice?”
His eyes snapped back to burrow into her own with hatred. “Wasn’t a compliment, girly.”
“B-but you—”
He released Hoppit’s lower half to jab a claw at the various spikes around his body, plying them with minimal force. “Look. See this? These’r suppose ta break bone. ‘Specially when he’s stiff like this. Ain’t no way I should be able ta bend ‘em. He’s barely more than a walkin’ carcass—all skin ‘n stick. He’s gonna get picked up by a wandering pecker if he keeps pissin’ about out ‘ere. It’s a wonder he’s still kickin’. What’cha feeding ‘em?” His gaze dropped from her face to the rest of her, disgust curling his muzzle into a snarl. “N’ver mind. I can guess.”
She felt the dampness build at the edges of her vision, unprepared to not only worry for Hoppit's immediate health, but also to face such harsh criticism while she was so vulnerable. “I… I try to make sure he has…”
Makis crouched to release the ferrorabbit onto the ground, Ceele dropping to her knees the moment he did. The terrified lagomorph wasted no time, bolting towards his adoptive mother and leaping into her arms, shaking uncontrollably. The rust-coloured ‘bold stared as she started soothingly stroking the animal’s back.
“Yer given’ em the weeds, aren’t ya?” he stated rather than asked. She gave a teary nod when her voice wouldn’t respond for her. The old kobold drew a breath, letting it go in an exasperated sigh as he stood back up, his expression becoming more impatient than antagonistic. “What else?”
“I— Um…”
“What. Else?”
“W-whatever I c-can find!” she sputtered out. Hoppit tried to hide against her neck, prompting her to tighten her hold. She couldn’t stop herself from shrinking, the guilt and confusion pulling her head down. “R-roots, vegetables, fruits… I give them as often as I can.”
His glare continued unimpeded, his cadence cold. “That it?”
There were a million things Ceele wanted to say. A part of her wanted to beg him not to kick them out of the first safe place she had in longer than she could remember, but she couldn’t find the words. She wanted to deny the judgmental tone that stabbed into her insecurity surrounding how good of a job she was doing with Hoppit, but the deadened void in her chest swallowed her pride whole. She knew he was right to critique her. That she was failing in the only thing that mattered anymore. That the feeling of loss would return.
“I try,” she whispered through the beginnings of a sob. “I try to find more, but he needs someone around, and I have to work the garden, so there’s only so much time I can spend looking. He won’t even eat all of what I bring back…” Tears dripped off her cheeks as she aimed a desolate smile at her furry friend. “He wants to make sure I have some too.”
“Yer killin’ em,” Makis pointed out plainly, crossing his arms. “He’ll be dead ‘fore the summer at this rate.”
“I know!” she shouted, forcing back the memories of insidious murmurs that lurked in the back of her mind, eager to creep into her ears again. The hate-filled stares that followed her, the rumours that arrived in towns before she had the chance to make an impression, and the guilt that loomed over her like an executioner's axe… “I know I am… I just… I don’t know what he needs. I don’t know how to make him happy…but I try. I’m trying…”
“…Yer an idiot, girly.”
She looked up to see the elder kobold walking away without another word. Her eyes fell to Hoppit, the ferrorabbit pressing himself against her as much as he could. He was small, thin, soft, and growing weaker by the day, but he never let it keep him down for long. No, he always showed his best for her, giving her joy that wasn’t provided anywhere else. She saw the thin cuts and dried blood, though she didn’t know where they came from, nor how he got out of the shed in the first place. But that was okay. Hoppit was okay, and she had Hoppit, so everything was okay, right?
…But how much longer would everything stay okay? How much longer until her efforts weren’t enough, and she was left desperately reaching for fading memories of what once was? How much longer until she killed her baby too?
How much longer until she was alone again?
Soft footsteps drew near, pulling her from the spiralling thoughts that threatened to gnaw at her soul. Damp, blurry eyes fell on Makis returning with a small wooden crate, the older kobold stopping a few steps away. He dropped the box, a deep, rattling thud produced as it impacted the ground, making Hoppit flinch in her arms. Ceele blinked as she kept him calm, then blinked again, looking up at the man for answers.
“The name, girly,” he spat in irritation. “Ferrorabbit. Ther’ Earth aligned creatures; they need metals. They don’t care where they get it, but they need lots of it. Iron, copper, tin, lead—raw crystal, if they can find it. You name it, they’ll take a chunk out of it. It's why they bother farmers so much; the best soil’s usually top’a gem deposits, ‘n the little bastards have no issue burrowing deep to get it. Dries up the element’s energy ‘n makes the crops weak.”
Ceele’s mouth opened and closed, each unsuccessful attempt to speak making her feel smaller and smaller. More and more lost. Why was he telling her this? How did he know? What was in the—
He kicked the crate with the side of his foot. “Scraps. Don’t’cha look at me like that. I’m a smith, girly. I might be old and retired, but I still work a forge. Now, this ain’t anything pure—it’s just slag and hunks—but I’m sure the critter won’t mind. Your little gardenin’ project pays off, ‘n I’ll see which of my contacts can get in some better ore.”
She ripped her eyes away from the box and met the perpetual scowl of the old kobold, seeing a warmth behind the hostility that she had never noticed before. “…Why?”
He scoffed in amusement, which looked somewhat menacing on such a hardened expression. “Yer a touch stupid, girly, but the missus adores ya, ‘n yer a good worker.” A shadow of a smile formed on his face. “Hira spent more evenings asking ‘bout how the plots are doin’ than I got time in the day. She’d bite my head off if I noticed a critter like that sufferin’ and didn’t lend a hand. ‘Specially when it’s obvious you ain’t tryin’ ta hurt the thing.”
“B-but the garden… Isn’t he a problem?”
Makis rolled his eyes, turning with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If he was, he’da killed it by now. I’d say he’s been keepin’ the others clear ‘n got scratched up for the trouble. That’s more reason to feed ‘em right in my eyes; pay the poor bastard his dues.” He paused after a few steps, shooting her one last incredulous glance. “‘N the rabbit’s right. You’re not much better off than he is. Eat. Before the missus takes my head, preferably. I ain’t need ta hear her worryin’ over you more than I already do.”
And with that, he walked off back to the house, leaving Ceele to sit stunned on the ground with Hoppit quietly nuzzling into her.
“Hoppit…?”
The ferrorabbit perked an ear and gently licked her collar. Fresh tears ran rivulets down her face, yet they didn’t weigh her down. They felt freeing. She adjusted her hold on the rabbit and held him out, taking in the small cuts and numerous other injuries she had never noticed before. He stared back at her with worried eyes.
“You’ve been busy, huh?” she cooed quietly, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking. He shrunk in her hands. “I told you to stay home, baby. What if something happened to you? I wouldn’t know where you went, and…”
Her protests died out as she saw what was unmistakably guilt on his little face. She brought him back to her chest and cleared her throat.
“It’s alright, Hoppit. If… If you want to help momma, then we can work together, okay? Just…please don’t go off getting hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you…” The rabbit didn’t reply, and she was pretty sure she had never heard him make any sounds that weren’t his happy little ear clacks, but she chose to interpret the nuzzling as an agreement. “Such a smart boy…”
She took a breath and wiped off the excess moisture from her cheeks, setting Hoppit down on the ground. “Let’s bring Mr. Makis’ gift in, and then I need to go get more water so we can clean you up, okay?”
He bounced his way to the door of their home, waiting patiently for her to lug the surprisingly heavy crate into the shed. He was even still behaving himself by the time she returned from picking up the things she dropped in her haste. There wasn’t a single protest from the ferrorabbit as she washed over his wounds with warm water, nor when she asked him to wait as she cut up a small salad for him using an extra portion of her rationed vegetables. Finally, once everything else was gone, she tentatively sifted through the box until she found a chunk of something that didn’t look so sharp, then offered it to Hoppit skeptically.
As startling as it was to see him bite through metal without issue, she couldn’t help but tear up again at how pleased he looked with the bizarre addition to his diet. He munched through the first piece, then stared at the box while pawing at the air, asking for more. She obliged through wet laughs, feeling lighter than she had since he first gazed at her from his burrow, alone and afraid, just like she was.
Her little baby was happy, and that made it okay.
Next
—
A/N: Thank you to my Patrons, new and returning! No Thanks, Emmanuel, and Megathor join the others who get to read 1 chap ahead!
submitted by WaveOfWire to HFY [link] [comments]
PRs: u/anakist & u/BroDogIsMyName
- - - - -
It had been a few weeks since Altier was brought to the run-down shack that his black-scaled companion likely called home, and he could now comfortably say he was accustomed to the…household’s routine. The kobold typically left at the crack of dawn, returned a little after noon, and occasionally left again to forage until nightfall. When the weather was bad or there wasn’t a particular need for something, they half-heartedly chased their rabbit around for a bit, which usually ended with a bout of quiet petting while everyone got ready for the night. It was always amusing to see the energetic side of what he had come to know as a relatively lazy loaf of an animal. As for the routine of the ferrorabbit in question… Well…it was at least more interesting than expected.
Hoppit would begin his own series of activities as soon as his caretaker left—the first of which being a check of every nook and cranny in the shed. He sniffed at anything that caught his interest, varying from morning to morning, but he gave every object or corner its due attention. Once he was satisfied with that, he would eat some of the ragged plants that made up most of his diet, take a drink from his bowl, then jump onto the tro— table and plop himself down, his ears pivoting towards the door. It was hard to say if the lounging spot had been established before Altier’s arrival, but it was somewhat amusing to pretend that the little rabbit was standing guard over his core—if it wasn’t for one particular part of the morning ritual, that is.
Indeed, the ferrorabbit had a habit of licking the obsidian orb that sat in the middle of the room, which thankfully didn’t seem to perturb the system enough to give Altier a headache. He was confused when it first happened, but it was commonplace enough now that he barely acknowledged it. A part of him liked that he was getting attention as a core, even if it was delivered via a strange grooming method. The closest he got to being acknowledged as something other than ‘the dungeon’ was through an unfortunate misunderstanding that he could never properly rectify. He supposed that was hardly worth thinking about now, though; too much time had passed for there to be anyone left to correct. The little oddity of his mornings would have to suffice.
There wasn’t much to comment on as far as the rest of the day’s happenings. Hoppit would end his loafing by shaking his head and ears in a way that filled the silence with soft clacks, give the core a customary tongue bath, then jump off the table to nose his way out of the shed through a hole that was hidden by the storage cart against the wall. Where the rabbit went was anyone’s guess, but he always returned before anyone noticed he was gone, and often did so while covered in small cuts and scratches. Any blood from the lacerations was quickly licked off before it could be seen by the kobold, and in the event that the scaly caretaker happened to return earlier than expected, Hoppit would scurry over to the bundles of blankets to finish the cleanup in secret.
Today looked to be following the usual pattern. The kobold left bright and early with various gardening tools and a wooden pail, and Hoppit had since set off into the great unknown for one reason or another. Hopefully, he returned less injured than usual. It was frustrating to admit that Altier had begun to grow rather fond of the fluffy creature, and seeing the thing come back hurt was bothersome. Was it off looking for food? There wasn’t a whole lot given to it, so that was a possibility, and it could be getting into fights over whatever it found. That still didn’t explain why the animal was so thin, and Altier didn’t have enough to go off of to think of a potential solution. He wanted to help it in some way, like by summoning a creature to act as an escort, or maybe just by manifesting something edible like he once could. No, he could only stare at the ‘Synchronizing…’ that occupied his menu, wishing he had more information to work with.
He never thought he would miss the bombardment of notifications and their lingering presence that filled the edge of his mental vision; at least with that he could surmise enough to hazard some kind of action. Even knowing why the menu was acting the way it did would be a start. Yet, try as he might, there wasn’t a history for him to reference anymore, and he had nothing to work with. He was confident the last message had asked him to ‘accept’ something, then took his befuddled ponderance as an answer, but he was no closer to an explanation for what it wanted, nor why it prompted him in the first place. He just didn’t have another experience to compare against, since nothing like that had ever happened before. Not that he was ever in much of a position to allow it.
The entire purpose of having Altier inhabit a core was for him to become a dungeon of Decay, which entailed all the skeletons, poisons, acids, and whatever else came to mind when one pictured the concept. ‘Living’ creatures were something he only had the chance to experiment with near the beginning of his new existence, though he never dabbled past the first few insects before transitioning to the mindless undead. Having a thinking, feeling, breathing entity touch his core was a rite reserved only for the adventurers and soldiers that bested his trials, and that was usually a painful experience. Now, he had spent what he could only guess was hours being held by a kobold, followed by having a rabbit bump against him, and neither felt like what he came to expect. Instead, both had led to a completely novel reaction from the system. The strange circumstances put him at a bit of a loss as to what it all meant for him.
Sure, he could dismiss the deluge of errors from his companion’s involvement by pointing to the numerous ‘corrupted’ messages before it, and Hoppit was a part of mostly unexplored territory, but the lack of clarity nagged at the back of his mind constantly. Being exposed to activity after potential decades or centuries of unchanging solitude made him despise the informational dead end. If he couldn’t make sense of the rabbit’s circumstances, then he didn’t have much hope of deciphering the reason for why his system was misbehaving so terribly. He also didn't know much about the one who owned the decrepit holdings he was housed inside.
He still wasn’t sure what drove the kobold to take him from the cave. His suspicion of becoming traded goods fell flat after the first week or so, and he hadn’t noticed any cult-like behaviour, which was promising. Granted, a lack of nefarious behaviour didn’t mean there was a lack of nefarious intent, but he didn’t get the impression his companion held that either. The kobold itself didn’t seem quite settled on an opinion of his core, though it was up for debate if the hesitation was due to knowing what he was or not. They seemed to mull something over before bed each night, yet never reached a satisfactory conclusion, staring at the obsidian orb through weary grey eyes until they eventually forced themselves into sleep.
Whatever the underlying reasoning for his abduction was, he had observed enough to know that the kobold didn’t deserve to live in destitution. As beaten as the shed might be, they cared for it as best they could, and did so without a single groan or grimace of complaint. The floors were cleaned with a tattered rag and fresh water, dust was removed regularly, and any stray mess that Hoppit made was dealt with promptly. They even took the time to wipe off his core, which was possibly where the ferrorabbit got the idea to start licking him. The only time Altier had seen discontent from the kobold was when they didn’t find much during their foraging, and thus couldn’t give any treats to the excited and bouncy herbivore.
He wasn’t aware that a creature’s face could make such a painfully broken expression, and he was quick to decide that he never wanted to see it again.
Vexingly, his metaphorical hands were tied; a dungeon could only influence their Domain, and given the state of his system, not even that option was available to him. All he could do was glare at the rotting wooden beams that held up the roof and remember when such an issue didn’t exist. It would have taken a mere flicker of thought and a paltry sum of mana to mend the struts when he was a proper dungeon. He could even outright reinforce the structure by weaving in other materials, leaving the appearance as it was while making everything stronger than iron. Well, he once could. Working with other affinities was something that came to him after absorbing the coloured motes left behind by adventurers, and the accursed stone that stole his mana had taken that ability as well.
An attempt was made anyway, his will ordering the deteriorated wood to absorb any trace metals from the ground, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel the iron or stones beneath the shed like he would have been able to before, all but confirming his suspicion that his connection to the Earth element had slipped away. Nature was much the same; the only way he knew when Hoppit had returned most days was from the subtle noise and the essence of injury. The other attributes—Air, Flame, Luma, Shadow, and so on—were ones he never experimented with to any real extent, so it was less noticeable when he lost his grasp on them. Perhaps they faded early. Either way, all he had left was a waning cognizance of his own alignment, and that wasn’t of much use to him. If he had any appreciable mana income, then perhaps he could do something, but he wasn’t even sure what the upkeep of his current Domain might be. It was entirely possible that he was running on a deficit, which would offer a reason for why his system had been so—
[Do#$@n Ex@#d$%^&d! CRe@#r H-H-H-HoPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP—]
[Errrrrrr—]
[Sy$%^hroni%^$zing…]
[Creeee-tu— Hoppit ha@$ esttttb-hed terrrrrrr-ity f^#% t$e dun@&$n!]
- - - - -
“Well then,” he mumbled to himself, taking in the strange scene behind the shed. For one, he could actually view a small distance beyond the structure now, and two, there was a rather proud-looking Hoppit sitting on his haunches before a pair of significantly less prideful examples of the species. They looked quite a bit bigger than the lazy loaf Altier had come to know, yet they were more cut up and dejected than his furry friend. That answered where the injuries had been coming from, he supposed. Hoppit was probably running off to bash heads with whatever animal population existed here beforehand, and they had only just reached a consensus on who was in charge. Impressive.
One of Hoppit’s ears turned back towards the shed, his head following suit as he gave a lagomorph’s approximation of a ‘Look what I did!’ smile. Altier blanked out mentally, but didn’t have time to question anything before the new leader of the local rabbits imperiously pointed a paw towards the surrounding forest, which was equally surreal to witness. Most surprising of all, the…subordinates? The other ferrorabbits did as commanded, keeping their forms small as they took off into the foliage. Soft clacks came from Hoppit’s pleased shake of his head, then he too left the area with only a slightly lopsided bounce to his stride.
The man-turned-core could only gape at what he saw. Were animals always so…expressive? Had Hoppit heard him? What in the world was happening? Why had Hoppit’s personal conquest led to Altier’s Domain expanding?
He lamented not having fingers, nor temples to rub with them. His system was a garbled mess of errors and inconsistent messages, his residence was falling apart at the seams, his companion was someone who abducted him from the dungeon, yet never did anything past that, and his first real experience with an animal was turning out to be more confusing than he thought possible.
All of this was after an unknown amount of time spent commanding legions of undead to strengthen the very people who he would later learn had lied to and manipulated him, making him into a nightmarish entity just to bolster the power of their forces. He almost missed the days spent gazing out of a mossy window. At least then he knew what to expect.
Nothing made sense anymore.
= = = = =
The soft sound of roots ripping free from soil suddenly stopped, only to be followed by a dull thud of Ceele’s palm slapping against the ground to catch her fall before she landed on her rear. She righted herself with her tail and tossed the stubborn weed into a pile with the others. No matter how many mornings she did this, they always seemed to replace themselves faster than she could remove the pesky things. A sigh slipped from her muzzle as she set about grabbing the next one embedded in the vegetable garden.
Aches and spreading stiffness flared up, but went ignored as she neared the end of her duties, though she was well aware that they would come back with force once she tried to settle down for the day. The impending soreness was an inevitable byproduct of spending so much time working. Still, she knew that if it wasn’t for the kindly old couple that allowed her to call their shed home, she would still be sleeping beneath the stars while making sure nothing tried to get at her Hoppit. Even if it was just a part of the deal, they were owed this much in return, and she would see it done properly.
The sun bore down on her back as she did her usual tasks, which was a departure from the slightly overcast weather as of late. It looked somewhat promising when she checked in the wee hours of the morning, yet as her gardening duties dragged on, so too did the intensity of such a clear sky. A disappointed glance at the empty wooden bucket on the edge of the field was quickly corrected. She hadn’t thought to refill it at the river after watering the crops, and her parched throat was making its protests known, while also reminding her that there wasn’t much water left at home either. One more thing to take care of when she was done.
A gruff cough brought her attention towards the old kobold resting his back against a tree some distance away, safely shaded from the unforgiving rays beaming down. Her displeasure at having yet more to do was hastily wiped away. She was undecided on what to think of the detached audience, but looking so sour while upholding her side of the agreement wouldn’t reflect well on her. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen it. Not that she could tell if he did; he always had the same expression when he watched her work. The elder kobold’s arms were crossed, a finger tapping absently against his bicep, while his tail sat motionless on the grass, the muddy red colour of his scales standing out amongst the greens and browns. ‘Makis,’ was his name, assuming her memory served.
Makis had taken to observing her every so often, usually propping himself against this or that at a distance, the unwavering scowl being as unnerving as it was belying of his age. Somewhat loose skin sagged a bit around his jowls and neck, yet the rest of his face was still taut from how much time he spent examining red-hot metal, and his arms were marred with countless burns and cuts from his profession. He held an oppressive aura, though the crinkles around his eyes and muzzle suggested he smiled as frequently as he glowered, even if Ceele was yet to see the former. There was only the same judgmental expression aimed at her when he was around. She could only hope that he didn’t take offence to some unintended slight, but she didn’t know him well enough to say what might be considered one.
They hadn’t spoken since she took up residence on the outskirts of his land. His wife was the one to introduce them, but it was quickly established that he had no intention of being a chatty individual. He led Ceele to the shed hidden amongst the trees on the edge of the property, then dismissed her with only a grunt coming from the elderly kobold. She supposed that it was for the best. Her experience in socializing was centred around convincing others to employ her, and there hadn’t been much of an opportunity to expand her horizons while living a life on the road. If that had been the end of their interactions, she would have swiftly written the terseness off, but he appeared every few days, taking up residence beneath the shade as he watched her work, never speaking a single word. At least he didn’t openly protest her presence, yet she figured that would be easier to manage. He wouldn’t be such an enigma then.
There wasn’t a whole lot she knew about him besides his penchant for ‘supervision,’ and anything beyond that was what his wife had volunteered during the rare opportunity they had to chat. She was told that Makis worked the smithy out front, and although he had retired from doing so in an official capacity, she could still regularly hear his hammer as she tended to the garden, so she figured he kept himself busy most days. It made her wonder what was so interesting about a vagrant like herself, but when there was so little else to do, she could see how anything could be made worth the attention. It was just him and his wife living in the once bustling home, after all; the couple’s children had long since grown up and made families of their own.
She noticed his gaze shift elsewhere as she tugged yet another stubborn intruder from the soil, his arms falling from across his chest and the perpetually worn displeasure melting to that of curiosity. He wandered off shortly after, and she had to make an effort not to fall onto her tail as the pressure on her shoulders unexpectedly evaporated. Did something happen?
Ceele shook her head free of the distracting thought. It wasn’t her business if he grew bored with watching her work. As long as no one voiced any complaints, she could only assume that she was doing a satisfactory job. Maybe he finally decided that he didn’t need to be so watchful because she was doing well! That could be it, right?
A glance at the somewhat sloppily maintained garden erased the false confidence from her face, but she was just as quick to focus on finishing up, unwilling to allow darker musings to fester. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anything else that needed her intervention. The weeds were all uprooted, the soil was appropriately dampened, and her check for pesky insects or wildlife turned up nothing to worry about. She was free for the rest of the day!
…Or she would be free—as soon as she finished the last of her tasks, anyway.
The black-scaled kobold got up from her crouch unsteadily, shivering and wincing from the pins and needles in her legs. She would have to remember to stretch more often; it was far too easy to forgo that kind of thing just to make the overall work go slightly faster. Her hand reached out to grab the pile of weeds and put them into the bucket as she ran through what needed to be done before she could properly relax. Hoppit’s food needed to be washed, she needed to bathe, and they were running low on water anyway, so she would have to visit the river. Just the thought of dragging herself into the forest again made her muscles protest, but she wouldn’t have the energy to do it later. She forced the smile that had started to fall and took the first of many steps.
- - - - -
The river wasn’t too far away, only taking a few minutes of traipsing through the dense woodlands until she reached her destination. It was an idyllic little spot. The trees thinned out to allow a grassy bank along the water, and there was an appreciably gentle slope from shallows to depths, making for a convenient place to take care of various needs. She had discovered this place during her travels, and it was where a kind older woman found her.
Ceele was washing off at the time, with Hoppit safely taking shelter from the outside underneath the bundled blankets while he waited. The trickle of the stream brushing against rocks covered the sound of footsteps, so she was rather surprised when an aged voice called out to ask if she was okay. Her first reaction was to distance herself and apologize—the why didn’t matter, but she had learned that most people were more lenient of her presence if she seemed apologetic for it, and she usually was. The elderly kobold just laughed at her scrambling, tacking on an assurance that there was no need for modesty. The woman was blind, apparently, which explained how Ceele’s blackened colours hadn’t deterred her.
Strangely enough, there was a comforting sense of ease around the one who introduced herself as Hira. It was a sort of presence that Ceele could only vaguely remember, and it drew her close enough to speak as she finished bathing. The conversation wasn’t anything profound, of course—they hardly delved deeper than surface-level small talk—but Hira lost her smile as she listened to the younger kobold. By the end of it, the old woman posed a series of questions with a dark inflection to her voice, and Ceele struggled to find an answer.
‘Are you tired of looking for something that only slips away? Are you tired of running? Do you really want to be scared and alone?’
If the silence bothered Hira, then it didn’t show. She had simply held out a hand and offered Ceele a way of life that didn’t involve wondering where she would be spending the night, nor entailed cowering in the brush while fearsome predators roamed freely. It would be a simple existence of few fortunes, but it was safe, and it was honest. All she had to do was say yes.
Ceele denied it at first, partially because she knew most people despised Hobbit's species, and partially because she couldn’t shake the offer being too good to be true. Hira was quick to propose a compromise; Ceele could take residence in the gardening shed that had fallen from use, and to satiate the nagging sense of an unfair deal, she would be put in charge of maintaining the garden itself. All Hira wanted was to ‘see’ her favourite space bloom again, since she couldn’t take care of it anymore. The black-scaled kobold stared longingly at where Hoppit was, his little body shivering from the prolonged cold and fear that he would be hurt if he left the blankets hiding him. It was with a heavy guilt that she accepted Hira’s offer, keeping quiet about her true reason for doing so.
That was in the past, however, though she thought about it every time she stopped by and saw the smooth rocks where she and Hira first met. Eventually, she might gather the courage to admit that she was housing a ‘pest’ and beg for forgiveness. Until then, she would just work her hardest to prove it wasn’t a mistake to give her a home. That her endless efforts weren’t meaningless. That Hoppit deserved to be more than a ‘pest.’
That Ceele was more than something she had no control over being.
She cleared her head a bit and started on the reason she came all this way. Her dress was rather easy to wash in the meandering water, and the trees provided a suitable place for it to dry in the sunlight and light breeze. The weeds were fine with a thorough rinse near in the shallows, but taking care of her own hygiene required her to wade farther in, though it only came up to her chest in the middle of the rill. Still, she could scrub off the soil and grime, which was all she really needed. Perhaps some simple soaps would help rid her of the pervasive black that stained her skin and scales, but that was beyond her meagre means for the time being, as well as being mere wishful thinking.
She worked past the dreary mindset that settled in when she allowed it, focusing on how serene the river was. The soft birdsong from the trees helped make for a peaceful experience, and she could feel the somewhat chilled liquid basically pour into the aches and pains throughout her body, washing away the stiffness from spending so long under the unerring sun. It was nice to escape reality and let thoughts drift while held buoyant by calmer waters.
Yet the bliss was short-lived. Even if winter was gone, spring was still far from warming the waters enough for her to laze about for too long. She dragged herself from the soft current and fetched her dress from the low-lying branch she left it to dry on. It was still a touch damp, but it wasn’t anything a bit of time in front of the fireplace wouldn’t fix.
Ceele was only a short distance away from home when she heard a gravelly male voice, but it was the flicker of sight between the trees that made her drop what was in her arms and lunge into a sprint.
Makis stood just outside the gardening shed, a ferrorabbit held at arm’s length by rusty crimson hands placed on the scruff and haunch, the rabbit’s little ears flattened as fear filled its tiny face. Her eyes widened further when she noticed the small stains of blood in his light brown fur. They found out about him. Ephemeral claws of blackness clutched at her soul, ripping the very fabric she was made of as an unseen beast smiled, eager to take yet one more thing from her. Her Hoppit. Her baby. Her everything.
“Hoppit!” she shrieked, her words all but tearing out of her throat in desperation. Frozen blood coursed through her veins, yet poured into exhausted limbs. She broke through the treeline with no regard for the branches slashing against her flesh, panic making each sting fade before it could be processed. The grizzled glare of the older kobold snapped towards her, his usual scowl picking up an actual air of intensity that she never thought could be absent, the promise of violence lurking in his eyes. She skidded to a stop a few paces away, the lump in her throat threatening to clog her airway. “S-stop hurting him!”
“Didn’t,” he barked back, his tone even yet firm. “Cuts ain’t me. I’d’a done worse if’a had ta mind ta.”
The blatant declaration snapped her from blind panic, although his apparent anger didn’t do her fear any favours. “B-but… Then how…”
“‘Hoppit.’ Named it, did’cha?” he grunted, ignoring her confusion and bobbing the rabbit to get her attention again. His gaze shifted back to the animal, the flames of ire cooling slightly. “I was wonderin’ why yer plots ain’t dead yet. Suppose this critter’s why.”
One of her hands hesitantly reached out until she pulled it back, while the other clutched at her chest to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t act rashly. Not while her baby was in his arms. “I—”
“Soft thing, ain’t it,” the elder kobold commented curiously, cutting her off.
“Y-yes?” she returned reluctantly, struggling to stop herself from lashing out to reclaim the ferrorabbit in his grasp.
“Like fine silk.” Makis tipped and tilted the animal, inspecting this and that with a deep-seated frown, all while Hoppit silently looked to her for help. The pit in her stomach grew. She needed to get him back, but how?
Ceele swallowed the dense dread as she tried to formulate some sort of plan, stumbling over her words and forced smile. “I-it’s nice! Isn’t it nice?”
His eyes snapped back to burrow into her own with hatred. “Wasn’t a compliment, girly.”
“B-but you—”
He released Hoppit’s lower half to jab a claw at the various spikes around his body, plying them with minimal force. “Look. See this? These’r suppose ta break bone. ‘Specially when he’s stiff like this. Ain’t no way I should be able ta bend ‘em. He’s barely more than a walkin’ carcass—all skin ‘n stick. He’s gonna get picked up by a wandering pecker if he keeps pissin’ about out ‘ere. It’s a wonder he’s still kickin’. What’cha feeding ‘em?” His gaze dropped from her face to the rest of her, disgust curling his muzzle into a snarl. “N’ver mind. I can guess.”
She felt the dampness build at the edges of her vision, unprepared to not only worry for Hoppit's immediate health, but also to face such harsh criticism while she was so vulnerable. “I… I try to make sure he has…”
Makis crouched to release the ferrorabbit onto the ground, Ceele dropping to her knees the moment he did. The terrified lagomorph wasted no time, bolting towards his adoptive mother and leaping into her arms, shaking uncontrollably. The rust-coloured ‘bold stared as she started soothingly stroking the animal’s back.
“Yer given’ em the weeds, aren’t ya?” he stated rather than asked. She gave a teary nod when her voice wouldn’t respond for her. The old kobold drew a breath, letting it go in an exasperated sigh as he stood back up, his expression becoming more impatient than antagonistic. “What else?”
“I— Um…”
“What. Else?”
“W-whatever I c-can find!” she sputtered out. Hoppit tried to hide against her neck, prompting her to tighten her hold. She couldn’t stop herself from shrinking, the guilt and confusion pulling her head down. “R-roots, vegetables, fruits… I give them as often as I can.”
His glare continued unimpeded, his cadence cold. “That it?”
There were a million things Ceele wanted to say. A part of her wanted to beg him not to kick them out of the first safe place she had in longer than she could remember, but she couldn’t find the words. She wanted to deny the judgmental tone that stabbed into her insecurity surrounding how good of a job she was doing with Hoppit, but the deadened void in her chest swallowed her pride whole. She knew he was right to critique her. That she was failing in the only thing that mattered anymore. That the feeling of loss would return.
“I try,” she whispered through the beginnings of a sob. “I try to find more, but he needs someone around, and I have to work the garden, so there’s only so much time I can spend looking. He won’t even eat all of what I bring back…” Tears dripped off her cheeks as she aimed a desolate smile at her furry friend. “He wants to make sure I have some too.”
“Yer killin’ em,” Makis pointed out plainly, crossing his arms. “He’ll be dead ‘fore the summer at this rate.”
“I know!” she shouted, forcing back the memories of insidious murmurs that lurked in the back of her mind, eager to creep into her ears again. The hate-filled stares that followed her, the rumours that arrived in towns before she had the chance to make an impression, and the guilt that loomed over her like an executioner's axe… “I know I am… I just… I don’t know what he needs. I don’t know how to make him happy…but I try. I’m trying…”
“…Yer an idiot, girly.”
She looked up to see the elder kobold walking away without another word. Her eyes fell to Hoppit, the ferrorabbit pressing himself against her as much as he could. He was small, thin, soft, and growing weaker by the day, but he never let it keep him down for long. No, he always showed his best for her, giving her joy that wasn’t provided anywhere else. She saw the thin cuts and dried blood, though she didn’t know where they came from, nor how he got out of the shed in the first place. But that was okay. Hoppit was okay, and she had Hoppit, so everything was okay, right?
…But how much longer would everything stay okay? How much longer until her efforts weren’t enough, and she was left desperately reaching for fading memories of what once was? How much longer until she killed her baby too?
How much longer until she was alone again?
Soft footsteps drew near, pulling her from the spiralling thoughts that threatened to gnaw at her soul. Damp, blurry eyes fell on Makis returning with a small wooden crate, the older kobold stopping a few steps away. He dropped the box, a deep, rattling thud produced as it impacted the ground, making Hoppit flinch in her arms. Ceele blinked as she kept him calm, then blinked again, looking up at the man for answers.
“The name, girly,” he spat in irritation. “Ferrorabbit. Ther’ Earth aligned creatures; they need metals. They don’t care where they get it, but they need lots of it. Iron, copper, tin, lead—raw crystal, if they can find it. You name it, they’ll take a chunk out of it. It's why they bother farmers so much; the best soil’s usually top’a gem deposits, ‘n the little bastards have no issue burrowing deep to get it. Dries up the element’s energy ‘n makes the crops weak.”
Ceele’s mouth opened and closed, each unsuccessful attempt to speak making her feel smaller and smaller. More and more lost. Why was he telling her this? How did he know? What was in the—
He kicked the crate with the side of his foot. “Scraps. Don’t’cha look at me like that. I’m a smith, girly. I might be old and retired, but I still work a forge. Now, this ain’t anything pure—it’s just slag and hunks—but I’m sure the critter won’t mind. Your little gardenin’ project pays off, ‘n I’ll see which of my contacts can get in some better ore.”
She ripped her eyes away from the box and met the perpetual scowl of the old kobold, seeing a warmth behind the hostility that she had never noticed before. “…Why?”
He scoffed in amusement, which looked somewhat menacing on such a hardened expression. “Yer a touch stupid, girly, but the missus adores ya, ‘n yer a good worker.” A shadow of a smile formed on his face. “Hira spent more evenings asking ‘bout how the plots are doin’ than I got time in the day. She’d bite my head off if I noticed a critter like that sufferin’ and didn’t lend a hand. ‘Specially when it’s obvious you ain’t tryin’ ta hurt the thing.”
“B-but the garden… Isn’t he a problem?”
Makis rolled his eyes, turning with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If he was, he’da killed it by now. I’d say he’s been keepin’ the others clear ‘n got scratched up for the trouble. That’s more reason to feed ‘em right in my eyes; pay the poor bastard his dues.” He paused after a few steps, shooting her one last incredulous glance. “‘N the rabbit’s right. You’re not much better off than he is. Eat. Before the missus takes my head, preferably. I ain’t need ta hear her worryin’ over you more than I already do.”
And with that, he walked off back to the house, leaving Ceele to sit stunned on the ground with Hoppit quietly nuzzling into her.
“Hoppit…?”
The ferrorabbit perked an ear and gently licked her collar. Fresh tears ran rivulets down her face, yet they didn’t weigh her down. They felt freeing. She adjusted her hold on the rabbit and held him out, taking in the small cuts and numerous other injuries she had never noticed before. He stared back at her with worried eyes.
“You’ve been busy, huh?” she cooed quietly, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking. He shrunk in her hands. “I told you to stay home, baby. What if something happened to you? I wouldn’t know where you went, and…”
Her protests died out as she saw what was unmistakably guilt on his little face. She brought him back to her chest and cleared her throat.
“It’s alright, Hoppit. If… If you want to help momma, then we can work together, okay? Just…please don’t go off getting hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you…” The rabbit didn’t reply, and she was pretty sure she had never heard him make any sounds that weren’t his happy little ear clacks, but she chose to interpret the nuzzling as an agreement. “Such a smart boy…”
She took a breath and wiped off the excess moisture from her cheeks, setting Hoppit down on the ground. “Let’s bring Mr. Makis’ gift in, and then I need to go get more water so we can clean you up, okay?”
He bounced his way to the door of their home, waiting patiently for her to lug the surprisingly heavy crate into the shed. He was even still behaving himself by the time she returned from picking up the things she dropped in her haste. There wasn’t a single protest from the ferrorabbit as she washed over his wounds with warm water, nor when she asked him to wait as she cut up a small salad for him using an extra portion of her rationed vegetables. Finally, once everything else was gone, she tentatively sifted through the box until she found a chunk of something that didn’t look so sharp, then offered it to Hoppit skeptically.
As startling as it was to see him bite through metal without issue, she couldn’t help but tear up again at how pleased he looked with the bizarre addition to his diet. He munched through the first piece, then stared at the box while pawing at the air, asking for more. She obliged through wet laughs, feeling lighter than she had since he first gazed at her from his burrow, alone and afraid, just like she was.
Her little baby was happy, and that made it okay.
Next
—
A/N: Thank you to my Patrons, new and returning! No Thanks, Emmanuel, and Megathor join the others who get to read 1 chap ahead!
2024.06.09 09:50 river_chubb Transfer title - why is it so much?
 | I've been corresponding with a person from my local title place about transferring our car title from Florida to Georgia. I looked online and it says to transfer the title it's $18 and the license plate fee is $20. Why did she quote us that much? submitted by river_chubb to Cartalk [link] [comments] |
2024.06.09 08:35 -mystic-gamer- Uh...GELP
Was recently hired at del taco and it says the employer name is desert taco LLC??? Also apparently there's such thing as a desert taco/del taco payroll cuz I signed up for digital payments on the i-9 application but I may have given my bank acc number to a scammer or fraud(stupid I know, I didn't know how it worked cuz it's my first time signing up for digital) they already have my routing # and bank name but not the 1st digits of my account number..got 39 bucks deposited when payday came in(i worked 16 hrs so i need 224$) I keep checking on my bank account and no money has been sent in after the 1st pay day or taken out at all(meaning no suspiciousactivity as of yet). I have a 2nd job and deposits are normal. Nothing suspicious yet but my manager berated me for freely giving it out as it was the first time any employee has been reached out to by an HR admin assistant(my fault, I'm stupid😭) and apparently my manager doesnt have my digital payments confirmation paper even though I signed up for that on the ACTUAL i-9 application form and nothing else so the manager said they're gonna investigate and that they're gonna give me paper checks and to keep track of my hrs. Idk what to do as nothing suspicious has shown up for my email and bank acc(been checking up frequently and nada, just deposits from 2nd job and insurance payments) but I'm gonna air out this woman's name whois claiming to be part of del taco/desert taco payroll: Lana newman. But uh... kinda scared. I mean I don't have much in my account anyway but still...
submitted by -mystic-gamer- to DelTaco [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 08:02 Joshh170 Creative Minecraft Player Brings a Chunk of the Nether Into The Overworld
 | A Minecraft player set out to recreate a part of the Nether in the Overworld, achieving an impressive result. Minecraft is a game famous for allowing players to bring their most imaginative ideas to life, but for those players who also like to explore the game's blocky world, there are some rather dangerous places to visit. submitted by Joshh170 to GameGeeks [link] [comments] Among these high-risk places is the Nether, the dimension that functions as Minecraft's underworld. When Minecraft players make obsidian to craft the Nether portal, they access a dimension characterized by not having a day and night cycle, and by having unique biomes. Some of these are the Basalt Deltas, one of the most dangerous biomes in the game, and the Soul Sand Valley, the Nether "desert." Visiting the Nether requires preparation from Minecraft players, but one creative adventurer decided to flip things on their head with a recreation of the dimension in the overworld. Reddit user Consistent-Hand-3404 reproduced a chunk of the Nether in Minecraft's Overworld. Without the help of any mods and using only a structure block, they created a chunk with several huge fungi, a type of "tree" generated in two biomes of the Nether, the Crimson Forests and Warped Forests. The player's recreation includes a section of Glowstone, the block generated in the Nether known for emitting light, and part of the Nether Fortress, a large structure that hides dangers such as wither skeletons and blazes. Next to the chunk, they've placed a portal used by Minecraft players to visit the Nether, and included the lower layers of the dimension, with dangerous rivers of lava. What Can Minecraft Players do in the Nether? Although it is a remarkably dangerous dimension, Minecraft places items in the Nether that are must-have for players who have traveled there. Ancient Debris is found in the Nether's lowest points and is smelted to create Netherite Ingots, valuable items that make diamond armor even more powerful. If a Minecraft player is thinking of reaching The End, they will need Blaze Rods, which are used to craft Blazing Powder, an essential item for making the Eye of Enders and activating the End Portal. Nether Warts are small fungi that have few uses, the main one being brewing. The Nether is one of the most popular aspects of Minecraft gameplay, and it got big love in 2020. Called "The Nether Update," the patch gave the Nether a major overhaul by adding new blocks such as soul fire, basalt, and ancient debris. Netherite armor, a material tougher than diamond, was introduced in the Nether Update, along with Netherite tools. Minecraft has also added new hazards in the form of hostile mobs such as Piglin, Strider, and Hoglin, insuring the Nether remains relevant years after its debut. |
2024.06.09 07:55 SoshiLucent Econ 138A Income Taxation practice final #1 Files [Request]
![Econ 138A Income Taxation practice final #1 Files [Request]](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/kAnBT0z0-N--Zg_kL6gZzXqfHuYrVZwdFpRbGc6vfso.jpg "Econ 138A Income Taxation practice final #1 Files [Request]") | I'm taking a shot in the dark here, but I'm just about finished with studying for the final, but the practice exam just closed and I did not have all of the practice exam files saved to use as reference. Does anyone here have the links(or files) to these pdf files, and if not, could someone perhaps link me the UCSB econ & accounting discord? Thank you very much! submitted by SoshiLucent to UCSantaBarbara [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/jkiq03nqjh5d1.png?width=868&format=png&auto=webp&s=82c9e6c69b318fffd84efb8145d00d3d0dff82a1 |
2024.06.09 07:41 cheesekransky12 Healthcare professionals not taking cognitive impairment symptoms (Blank mind) seriously.
Hi all,
I've noticed whenever I bring up the cognitive difficulties that I'm having as a result of anhedonia ("Blank mind" for lack of a better term), they are not taken seriously. These symptoms include very little to no thoughts at all or internal monologue unless it's negative rumination. No spontaneous thoughts, no daydreaming, no thoughts of the future or past, no opinions about any topic (unless it's anhedonia) and literally nothing to say to my closest friends. There's nothing, just blankness. I know from reading a bunch of anecdotes online that I'm not the only one experiencing this.
Now, when I bring this up to my psychiatrists, psychologists, and doctors, I'm usually met with a blank stare. See, the thing is, when I'm talking to a healthcare professional about these symptoms, paradoxically, I'm able to articulate myself well. Anhedonia is something I have "Thought about" for over two years, as it is a constant presence in my life. I have also rehearsed what I want to say to healthcare professionals about this for a long time. So, to them, seeing me only in this context, nothing is wrong. Or they will state that it is my "subjective experience of cognitive impairment", subtly implying that they disagree with my assessment. One psychiatrist stated that it makes sense that I don't daydream or have any opinions on anything as those things require emotions, but that doesn't explain everything. When I told another psychiatrist about not having anything to say to my friends, she told me to find better friends... My friendship group is amazing and supportive, btw.
I have done some cognitive testing (MoCA), and the only thing that I failed was phonemic fluency, which makes sense, considering I cannot retrieve anything to say to others in a social context. However, the doctor administering the test expressed that the low score could be attributed to anxiety. I've always had anxiety, but retrieving information has never been nigh on impossible until I developed anhedonia. Finally, I've also emailed a bunch of researchers who seem to focus on anhedonia or cognitive impairment + anhedonia but received no response.
It seems like healthcare professionals (Psychiatrists, Psychologists and Doctors) and researchers don't have a very good understanding of anhedonia, particularly the cognitive symptoms. There are enough anecdotal reports online of cognitive impairment + anhedonia to form a nice bit of qualitative data that could inform future research or further understanding. Just seems like a missed opportunity tbh
I'm wondering how others have gone trying to get healthcare professionals to take their cognitive symptoms seriously? Did they provide any valuable insight at all? Or do they dismiss it like mine seems to?
submitted by cheesekransky12 to anhedonia [link] [comments]
I've noticed whenever I bring up the cognitive difficulties that I'm having as a result of anhedonia ("Blank mind" for lack of a better term), they are not taken seriously. These symptoms include very little to no thoughts at all or internal monologue unless it's negative rumination. No spontaneous thoughts, no daydreaming, no thoughts of the future or past, no opinions about any topic (unless it's anhedonia) and literally nothing to say to my closest friends. There's nothing, just blankness. I know from reading a bunch of anecdotes online that I'm not the only one experiencing this.
Now, when I bring this up to my psychiatrists, psychologists, and doctors, I'm usually met with a blank stare. See, the thing is, when I'm talking to a healthcare professional about these symptoms, paradoxically, I'm able to articulate myself well. Anhedonia is something I have "Thought about" for over two years, as it is a constant presence in my life. I have also rehearsed what I want to say to healthcare professionals about this for a long time. So, to them, seeing me only in this context, nothing is wrong. Or they will state that it is my "subjective experience of cognitive impairment", subtly implying that they disagree with my assessment. One psychiatrist stated that it makes sense that I don't daydream or have any opinions on anything as those things require emotions, but that doesn't explain everything. When I told another psychiatrist about not having anything to say to my friends, she told me to find better friends... My friendship group is amazing and supportive, btw.
I have done some cognitive testing (MoCA), and the only thing that I failed was phonemic fluency, which makes sense, considering I cannot retrieve anything to say to others in a social context. However, the doctor administering the test expressed that the low score could be attributed to anxiety. I've always had anxiety, but retrieving information has never been nigh on impossible until I developed anhedonia. Finally, I've also emailed a bunch of researchers who seem to focus on anhedonia or cognitive impairment + anhedonia but received no response.
It seems like healthcare professionals (Psychiatrists, Psychologists and Doctors) and researchers don't have a very good understanding of anhedonia, particularly the cognitive symptoms. There are enough anecdotal reports online of cognitive impairment + anhedonia to form a nice bit of qualitative data that could inform future research or further understanding. Just seems like a missed opportunity tbh
I'm wondering how others have gone trying to get healthcare professionals to take their cognitive symptoms seriously? Did they provide any valuable insight at all? Or do they dismiss it like mine seems to?
2024.06.09 06:56 marchonet About maternity leave
Hello everyone. I recently found out that I am pregnant, I am a new immigrant who arrived last year December 2023, I am currently working 40 hours a week since February 2024 in retail, with part time employee status with no insurance benefits. Am eligible to get EI if I worked 600 hours on part time employee status? Lastly , I realized that my TD1 forms r not uploaded due to hr department negligence when I started the job, does it affect for tax or benefit purposes? Thank u in advance
submitted by marchonet to EICERB [link] [comments]