Hi everyone,
I’m starting my first year of computer science this fall and I want to use the summer to get a head start. I’m really excited about this journey and want to make the most out of the next few months. For those of you who have been through it, what topics or skills do you recommend I focus on? Here are a few things I’m considering:

• Programming Languages: Should I try to master one language, and if so, which one? I’ve heard Python is a good starting point. • Mathematics: Are there specific areas of math that I should brush up on? I’ve done some calculus and linear algebra in high school. • Computer Science Fundamentals: Are there any core concepts that would be beneficial to understand beforehand? • Resources: Any books, online courses, or other resources that you found particularly helpful? 

I’m open to any advice or suggestions! Thanks in advance for your help.

Honestly everytime I go to celadon I would try to get a coin case immediately and buy gible because garchomp is my favorite pokemon and clutched up in some hard situations in my playthroughs so I'm asking you guys which is the best one except for my pookie wookie beloved garchomp?

the torii gates can be crowded so we are planning to get there as early as possible but since the romancecar's earliest time would be 7am, I am planning to take a different way to go there (using a suica card and not the jr pass):
Our hotel is in roponggi: 1st: take the train from oedo line to shinjuku 2nd: from shinjuku to odawara (odakyu line) 3rd: odawara to hakone-yumoto (hakone tozan railway) 4th: from hakone-yumoto to lake ashi through bus
this way, we can arrive at lake ashi early in the morning.
here's our itinerary for the day (with hakone free pass): - Lake Ashi - Ride the pirate ship - Go to owakudani through ropeway - Go back to hakone-yumoto (optional: hakone-yuryo) - return to shinjuku (romancecar)
Questions: - is my alternate route doable using only a suica card? is this a good way to go there as early as possible to avoid the long waiting time? - is the itinerary good considering we have a senior with us (he is still strong and can walk, but we will being a small wheelchair just in case he gets tired)

Married, both 35 with 2 young kids in vhcol. 400k household income.
Financials: - primary worth 1.2m with 300k mortgage. Locked in a very low interest rate that will expire next year so looking to pay down primary aggressively. - 4 rental properties. Slight negative cash flow with the high interest rates. 1.5m equity across the rentals. - 20k cash, 100k rrsp, 100k tfsa, spouse also has DB pension with 10 years of vested service. - currently 80k annual after tax spending, targeting the same for retirement. Hope to split time in Canada and Asia.
I know we are over-indexed on real estate right now though it has done well over the years. Will divest over time into index funds.
We are targeting 50 to retire but I would ideally like to do it at 45 and spend more time with kids when they are young. I think we are in good shape and want to get thoughts from others.

I am on day 7 and I’m 100% in - I’m done drinking. I’m heading to a 3 day work conference with my best work friends with whom we typically stay up drinking and then miserable the next day. Send good vibes, they are the kind of people I believe will not make me feel bad about it and will not be talking me into drinking - nevertheless I need all the support I can get! 🖤🧋

I have been working for this company for about a year and a half now. During my time here, I have always been willing to step in and help other coworkers with their work when they are busy and I’ve been doing the work of others because “they don’t know how,” but I attribute it to being willfully ignorant. I’ve always been willing to help those, but I have started to feel like I am being taken advantage of. Side note, I also get asked to do work outside of my department.
During my review, my boss was highly complementary of the work I’m doing in the position I have now and even stated her appreciation for helping others. Her only criticism is that she feels as though I am very nice and she believes that she feels that coworkers have taken advantage of that. (This is something I have recognized in my personal life and continue to work on) As a resolution, she asked me to set boundaries with work and even gave me a print out of my job description to refer to when someone asks or expects me to do something for them. I was given a score rating for my review and with my previous experiences with scoring reviews, your score gives you a certain dollar amount or percentage raise. I asked my boss what the pay increase would be with the high score I had received in my review. She looked confused, and I had shared my experiences with scoring reviews, her response was “oh no that doesn’t happen. That would be nice though. You would be luck to get a raise every coupon of years.”
I didn’t love this response given the work that I’ve been doing to negotiate a raise as well as the possibility of not getting one for a few years.
Since then, I have been setting boundaries and helping others when I can. My one coworker, Jeff, noticed the change and was struggling at work and asked for a meeting with my supervisors.
I was then pulled into a meeting with both of my bosses where they mentioned how Jeff is struggling with work and they can’t “fix his work ethic” and that we have to “adjust to it”. They requested if I could make a list of the coworkers tasks he needs to get done on a white board. During this meeting I had stated that I do not feel that I should be doing this for him when he should be taking notes or making his own list of what he needs to get done. I had told my bosses that I do not feel like this falls within my job description and they stated that they know that it isn’t fair, but they need to see him fail to be able to build a case on firing him (like they have been already).
I even suggested a Googs shared doc so we can all track when it was posted and have shared access to it, but that was denied. I’ve conceited to writing his assignments on his white board.
But I still that I’m doing things that are well without my job requirements and I don’t even feel like I’m being compensated for the job that I’m doing now so would I be an asshole for telling my boss that that is not part of my job when I’m asked to do something? Would I be an asshole for brining up the topic of a raise on account of the additional work I’m doing?

A lot of other people in my life express themselves in a much happier way and exert much more positive energy than me. Barring the fact I am going through things right now, overall, I never have a desire to express my happiness (when I do feel it genuinely) so outwardly. When I'm happy, I'm very, very lowkey and calm. Just a smile and a nod to acknowledge it, when other people in my situation would most likely be more expressive.
I just wonder if that's a "weird" thing? Sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I don't get overly happy about good things...

I am looking to buy a house in the next few years and I'm keen to move my £100K S&S ISA account with Vanguard to somewhere else. This is to keep my money in a lower-risk place in case of market instability, as it would be my full deposit.
I therefore need to transfer my S&S ISA account to a cash ISA, hopefully locking in a high interest rate for a year.
However I'm struggling to find the best option for this on comparison sites, especially involving good cashback for such a high transfer. Does anyone have recent experience of this and know the best option?

So, building a "Pets" deck full of cats, dogs, horses and rabbits etc for the wife, Rin&Seri led.
Have a question on one of the decks interactions using Nactl War Pride to mount Calamity, Galloping inferno.
I tap war pride to mount then attack with calamity triggering a spawning of two copies of nactl war pride. Does the attack trigger of the new clones of war pride happen? Thus spawning a further two sets clones for each creature defending player controls? Or since they spawn in attacking already, do I only get the two tokens?
Then to follow that up, war pride and the tokens "must be blocked by exactly one creature if able" if then there are two waves of cats (using calamity or simmilar way to spawn double waves like doubling season or parallel lives etc), by having two sets of these tokens spawned in, there is no way to fulfill blocking every token with exactly one creature. So do they get to ignore the rule entirely? Or must they simply block as many war prides as possible?

This might be overly long but i don’t wanna leave anything out.
So Ive been seeing this guy for a while now (8 months ish) we’re beginning to get a little bit more serious now and this has honestly been the healthiest and kindest and most loving relationship i’ve ever been in. (we’re not offical offical, but we’re exclusive and happy this way)
Been thro a lot togther gross boring stuff.
However, I’ve noticed something. He has trouble finishing in bed, nothing extreme, it just takes him a long time to finish. He’s just said it’s always been a thing. Which is not a problem, Im satisfied and I do my best to satisfy him and think I do for the most part.
However, I’ve noticed he watches more porn than most guys Ive been with. I’ll go back to his and almost everytime his laptop is open with it open. Again that’s fine and normal i’m not bothered by that.
I also know he has a secret instagram account that he’s active on but It’s private so i can’t see what he looks at and im not a snooper.
It wasn’t until a few days ago when I was using his computer for some work stuff and needed to log into my email. His was already logged in of course, and while I was waiting for my account to log in and noticed around five emails for only fans accounts.
And for some reason this bothered me. I think this being 3 for 3 on this kinda thing made it click that maybe that’s the reason for any issues in bed.
I love this man. And I know he loves me. But i don’t know how to approach the subject. Obviously it’s not a bad addiction but it doesn’t do loads for my self esteem. Plus the secret account that’s often active seems dodgy and makes me feel icky.
Any advice is much appreciated!
TLDR my partner watches a lot of porn, has a secret account and idk what to do.

What is the best way to build credit besides a secured credit card to build my credit to be able to get an auto loan with a normal interest rate or even a small house?

So I ( 13F) am struggeling with ana and since last year my family dtarted to notice me not eating and refusing everything . But it got worst this year becaude i would faint in class many times so my parents and school got worried and sent me to the doctor, to make a long story short i ended up with a dietitian and a doctor that i now both see every week but a month ago i finally got also mental help so me and my family saw this like mental health centre and i had to fill out this large test and i also got asked sooo many questions so they could make a good "plan" so we had to wait and yesterday was our appointment in which they would tell us the plan they made
They officially diagnosed me with severe anorexia restrictive type and I now have to follow this thing called FBT ( Family based therapy) and the plan is the so called "best solution" for kids with anorexia but for some reason i feel like im not severe enough since im not forced to go to a eating clinic and like be inpatient .
And i know this sounds messed up but i wanna be inpatient i just want to be forced because i know that if im at home i can easily hide food/throw it away . I know it makes no sense but I just wanna get better so badly and i dont think this plan will help me in any way. Sorry for this rant i just really need to get it off my chest

I just recently switched over to Apple Music because the audio was just too good not to. But now I’m wondering what are the best apps to show your listening stats for Apple Music?
I use last.fm so I can do my monthly receiptify. However, when I used to use Spotify for receiptify, I would allow me to also get a receipt for my top artists and such, not just my top tracks.
I also liked that Spotify had “on repeat” playlists. Is there anything like that for Apple Music through the app or another app?
Idk, just recommend me your favs pls and tell me why.

Hi,
I'm currently a stay at home mum. I'll soon qualify for free childcare and then nursery so I'm starting to think about my future. I'm looking for a vocation, not a career I guess.
I have a fine art degree which I got when I was 36 and then almost immediately became a mum. I have a long background in retail management and that is what I'm truly experienced to do, if I do that though, I think it will be the end of me. The thought of going back into general high street retail makes me die inside.
What I love and what fills me with passion is getting my hands in the dirt. Give me a shovel and tell me to turn over a bed and plant some veg and I am in my absolute element.
I've been growing my own for a few years, but I lost my allotment when I moved. I'm on a list for another but who knows when that might happen!
I'm looking for work that doesn't require too much thinking, but maybe requires in depth knowledge as I love researching, I don't mind hard physical labour, I don't mind early starts or the weather (I grew up with horses).
I want to spend my days growing plants, ideally food, but any plants are fine. I'm fascinated by market farms and permaculture.
But I don't know where to even begin, what search terms do I use? What kind of jobs might be suitable? what would the job titles be? Would I need another qualification or could I work my way up? Not sure I'm even bothered about working my way up tbh. I don't care about earning lots of money. As long as it involves what I love. The other issue is I don't drive, I have a license but I've not driven in years due to driving anxiety. Ask me to drive around a field though and I'd be fine.
I don't mind the general public if they're interested in what I'm doing, but I CAN NOT go back to working with the run of the mill general public.
So other than starting my own garden market farm type thing, which, from what I've heard requires a lot of networking, not a strong suit of mine, is there anything else? Anything? Please tell me there's something I'm missing 😅

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something.” This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void.
Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. phone, social media, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
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Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
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The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
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The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
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Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
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Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

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Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. So consider talking to your friends about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

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Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
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3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
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6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
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7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
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8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
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You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
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Should i use a specific dlc, any particular ones? Just the pure game?
What do y’all recommend?

I an traveling to london next month.its my first time in uk.i have to get from Heathrow airport to kings college.what would be the easiest and economical way?Any tips for a first timer in uk would be appreciated.Thanks😊

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
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Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
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The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
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The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
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Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
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Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

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Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

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Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
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3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
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6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
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7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
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8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
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You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
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Hey reddit! Let me know what your thoughts are on the following! I am just a General Manager in the market, nothing more. We reached out to our area manager and asked how the bonus structure was set up, the following is a brief overview of how they explained everything. The management "are having a lackluster experience in the financial department", and because of that, nobody in ANY market under this umbrella group is qualified for bonuses under our franchise management(names are hidden for privacy and possibly backlash). After further pushing information out of my area, I have gotten a basic gist of what qualifies for a bonus (when it was supposedly active).Qualifications :

• Less than 25% labor
• 25% Food Waste or less Keep in mind this is not a combined of 50% as most people have said it was, they would rather see a combination of 24+24 that 26+23. If you have anything over 25% you lose a quarter of your bonus automatically, regardless if you hit combined 50 or not.
• All Paperwork, Weekly Numbers Sheet, Truck orders and invoices
• Store audits and health score The next section is stuff that is out of your control but still drops your bonus quality down if it happens :
• Complaints from customers, regardless if your fault or not
• If your store's DMR is too high
• Anything areadeems a "performance error"
• If any equipment is broken
• If the rent for the building has not been paid for
• If any loans are still meaning to be paid out Keep in mind they are not giving out the paperwork to anyone less than an area manager, so the area could literally say we had to pay out a loan and keep your bonus money for themselves. Also, if you do not work 40+ hours a week, you do not qualify for these bonuses anyway. Another change they are trying to implement is a 4-5 manager set up. What this means, minus the GM, they would have another manager or two on rotation so less people qualify for the bonus, and what's worse, is less management getting overtime. In addition to this, since we have 3rd party orders, we also will not have as much driver staff because 90% of orders are not being taken by us anymore, even in the fall during football season. Im sure you can read between the lines and see why they will not show us how they give out bonuses.

Print Zone UAE based in Abu Dhabi, is a company specializing in premium printing services [Print Zone Printing Services]. They cater to customers in Abu Dhabi and likely the wider UAE region.
Here's what you can expect from Print Zone UAE:

• High-Quality Printing: They prioritize delivering top-notch printing quality for your projects.
• Variety of Services: Print Zone UAE offers a wide range of printing services, but specific details are unavailable without visiting their website. This likely includes business cards, flyers, brochures, posters, banners, and more.
• Convenience (possible): Since they're located in Abu Dhabi, they might cater specifically to clients in the area. They might offer convenient options like online ordering or pick-up/delivery services (details would be on their website).

To get a more comprehensive understanding of Print Zone UAE's offerings, it's recommended to visit their website [Print Zone Printing Services]. There, you can explore their services in detail, browse samples of their work, and potentially even get quotes for your specific printing needs.

I definitely think Shigure is the best partner for her, he loves her but is willing to stand up to her which she needs.
That being said, in their interactions I feel like Shigure is way more into her than the other way around.