Apologies if not allowed. I have tried Google and Lilo and Stitch is all that comes up or That 70s Show but the scene that pulls up from that show isnt what I remember.
There is a movie scene my little sister and I used to recreate when we were younger, it used to drive my mother absolutely wild with rage. Hilarious to us obviously :)
I remember it the movie being similar to Dumb and Dumber or similar style of comedy but its young adult children of maybe even full grown men, saying "Im not touching you, Im not touching, but Im not touching you" and the other person saying " dont touch me" etc etc. There may have even been a quote, "Im hovering" because that comes to mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdbu-8xRWlI
There is a link to a nascar ad that reminds me most of the scene. They are in a car too. The comments in the YT link even spark some memories.
It is 100% not Lilo and Stitch because well, I was a high school by then and I wouldnt be caught dead watching that movie. And to this day I have never seen that movie. I was too busy chasing girls or thinking I could be in the next Fast and the Furious.
Anyway, thanks for any ideas or help. My sister and I still act like kids around my mom and it would be fun to watch that movie with her for old times sake. Maybe teach my niece that game to continue the trend :)

So my sister in law is pregnant and announced to us the same week as our second loss (she knew about both losses since I had my tube removed and emergency surgeries). She was only 5 weeks when she told us in person so it already feels like it’s been a lifetime..I’ve been keeping distance and not talking to her or asking her about her pregnancy which I hoped she would understand why while also not trying to rain on her parade and take away her excitement. She also has not reached out to me to check on me post loss. I have seen quote on here, “have you really gone through ivf if you haven’t dealt with your SIL getting pregnant naturally at the same time”- too real.
My MIL had us over for dinner right after the first ectopic and wanted to work through it all with us..”why did this happen to you! How terrible! You have none of the markers for ectopic…you’ve never had an STI..right?” I was floored that she thought it was appropriate to ask me my sexual history over a casserole. My husband was mortified. From there I started taking distance from her (even though she lives 10 minutes away) She checked in on us after our second ectopic and told us she thinks we should go to therapy and that she’s worried about her son and asked me to look out for him and take care of him. She also sent me a chain email about the history of Mother’s Day mentioning “to all the mothers and people who are mothering to lots of people” (I’m a teacher) I saw the intent..just didn’t land. I skipped out on Mother’s Day celebrations and took care of myself. We then had a dinner with my MIL and SIL where my mother in law kept making comments on how she couldn’t drink since she’s pregnant and we heard updates on her birth plans..and she wore a crop top and leggings and complained about her nausea. All in all bizarre.
We are all planning a week away together at my in-laws lake house which I’m already dreading. We were trying to figure out dates and I messaged the group chat that we are starting ivf this summer doing our first egg retrieval in mid July so that really determines our plans…only my brother in law responded. My sister in law and mother in law have said nothing..and this text went out Monday morning and it’s now Saturday. They’ve known we’ve had several appointments at the fertility center and haven’t asked anything or reached out even when we have been very open- so ivf shouldn’t have been a surprise.
I saw my mother in law at my niece’s daycare bbq this week (after ivf text went out) where there were lots of people and babies and my husband and I decided to leave right after the singing performance and my mother in law made a dig like “oh yaaaah you’re probably “triggered” right now” I find myself gritting my teeth and powering through.
Then Friday night my sister in law texted me and my other (very supportive) sister in law telling us..”it’s a boy!!” I responded excitedly and asked her questions showing support.
How do I mentally put myself through being around these people who have a lack of empathy, social awareness, and show zero support? Do I say something/ have my husband say something? Do I skip our lake vacation so I’m not in the same house for a full week with my 20 weeks pregnant sister in law who will complain to me about pregnancy things…all while I’m doing my injections..any advice on navigating would be great.
My mother in law is usually super supportive and empathetic, but I’ve seen such a different side now that her daughter is pregnant, since she saw nothing wrong with how she announced the pregnancy to us (which I think has been the catalyst to the switch thinking we should just be super excited and happy for my SIL and I’m being selfish.).
Starting to think planting the seed of doing ivf is my get out of lake house card. Do I use it as an excuse or give them the honest answer? A lot to unpack I know…TIA for any advice or venting on what you went through with in-laws welcomed!

Hey folks. Maggie and I were waxing nostalgic yesterday and we remembered this account, and she thought it would be nice to give an update on things.
To sum up my last post: At a 17th birthday dinner for Maggie (my trans daughter), my sister (Aunt Bess, 49f) routinely deadnamed her, and Maggie responded by politely calling her Uncle Brian whenever she did. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth, but the Reddit consensus was that my daughter's a badass. Here's the link to the post if you want it.
I know it's been a bit of a goofy long time and it was a pretty small post, but there's been a...lot. Some good, some significantly shitty. Maggie put me up to this, so blame her.
So let's start with the shitty: my mother passed away late last year. We knew it was coming, but shockingly, that knowledge didn't help much. Don't wanna get into the details because this update really isn't about that, but it's relevant. I will say that nothing really prepares you to lose a parent, and my wife is a superhero because without her and Maggie I probably would have just crawled in a hole never come back out.
On the heels of my mom's passing, Aunt Bess had a mild heart attack. She's doing fine now, recovery was a bitch, I had to get more involved than I honestly wanted to because I wasn't about to let Dad take that all on by himself, and wife pitched in too (again, superhero).
And then Maggie is, Jesus H. Christ, eighteen now and graduating high school. Something else nothing prepares you for.
All that context is to make this point: Bessie finally figured out that Maggie is Maggie for good, and she's actually started making an effort. I think the combination of Mom's death, her own scare, and the fact that Maggie will be going off to university in another city next year kind of made it sink in that if she didn't fix things now, she might never get the chance. I don't know.
It's not perfect. And frankly, Bessie has gotten even more insufferable in some ways. But back around Maggie's birthday she sat down with her and gave her an honest-to-God apology. I got it secondhand from Maggie because I wasn't there, but my favourite part of the whole thing is a direct quote from Bess that Maggie gave me word-for-word: "You know, I wanted a niece more than a nephew anyway when you were little, so maybe this trans thing was all my fault from the start."
So yeah, the world still revolves around Bessie in her head, but she hasn't used Maggie's deadname once around us since then, and only slipped on pronouns a few times, so I'm starting to believe this is a good thing. And of course Maggie's overjoyed to have her Aunt Bess back, especially after losing her grandma. So things are sad, but nice. It's weird.
Anyway, that's pretty much it. Maggie says I should tell you that "you people are cool," so there you go. Seal of approval.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/brotherconflict
WIBTA if I skipped my sister's wedding?
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole & OOP's own page
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, verbal abuse, neglect, harassment, controlling behavior, golden child syndrome
Original Post May 31, 2023
Throwaway account + fake names.
​
I (23m) am one of seven kids. There's Lydia (31f), Josh (28m), Leo (25m), me, then Erin (21f), Nadia (18f), and the surprise child Lexie (4f). With that many siblings, it's easy to get lost in the crowd. Some of us have our 'positions,' so to speak. Lydia's the oldest, Lexie's the baby, I have a kid (yes, that's my descriptor. OP: gave us a grandchild). Erin is the golden child. She was the last planned child, the one supposed to tie up our family. She was born premature so I understand that my parents coddled her to an extent, but it's more than that now.
​
Erin's getting married and recently told us that she's brought the date forward due to a cancellation. No big deal, it just means they're getting married sooner. But the new date lands on the date of Nadia's HS graduation. Erin was sympathetic, but said she's already committed to the date, they've printed the invitations. My parents normally go overboard on our HS grads, but they said that they'd just have to miss Nadia's. We were all sympathetic, but it wasn't intentional.
​
Or so I thought. But Nadia later told me and Leo that she was there when Erin got the call about the cancellation and told Erin that she was graduating that day, but Erin just laughed and accepted the date anyway. This, as much as I hate to admit it, sounds like a very Erin thing to do. She booked her engagement part for the night of Nadia's 18th birthday (luckily, she wasn't celebrating until the weekend). She announced her engagement at my oldest sister's wedding anniversary. Everything is about her.
​
I confronted Erin about this, and she said that Nadia's HS graduation didn't matter. She wanted to get married to the love of her life sooner—and our family had been to plenty of HS graduations at this point, anyway. She said something like, "we still have Lexie." But here's what gets me the most: Nadia's been looking forward to this for so long. She's watched all of us graduate and have these huge celebrations thrown by our parents. I asked Nadia what she wanted, and she said she wanted to have her day.
​
So, I told my family that me and Nadia won't be attending the wedding. Leo has also dropped out. Everyone's angry. Erin's furious, and I didn't make it better by telling her that I could watch our other siblings get married, since it's all the same in her eyes. Mom's trying to convince me to come to the wedding because 'graduation isn't as important' but I feel like if I don't do this then it sets a precedent in Nadia's life that she's always going to mean less than Erin. I've had messages calling me an asshole, an idiot, etc. They're telling me to step up and be a good brother, but that's what I'm doing. My son is supposed to be ring bearer but with how my family is reacting, I'm considering pulling him out of the wedding, too. My dad's told Nadia he'll take her to dinner after the wedding. Nadia's currently staying with me because mom won't stop cornering her.
​
AITA?
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Update 1 June 11, 2023
It's two days after D-Day and I finally come bearing an update! I've had to condense it quite a bit because a lot has happened. Before I start, Nadia wanted me to thank everyone who congratulated her on her graduation. She was overwhelmed by the support you all gave her, especially after she faced such opposition from our family.
So, let's start. Last Friday, Leo and I went to speak to our parents and Erin. I wanted to tell them that I'd be pulling my son from the wedding. Our older siblings ended up turning up as well, so it was us four standing up for Nadia. Leo had spoken to them the night before, and helped them see things more clearly from Nadia's eyes. Apparently, it didn't sink in with them that Erin chose the date intentionally.
There was a lot of yelling. Erin accused me of trying to sabotage her wedding, our parents tried to convince me to let them take my son to the wedding, but I stood my ground. I felt a lot stronger with my older siblings with me. There's only two years between me and Erin after all, I'm not much of an older brother.
Luckily, Lydia was there. Her words carry more weight as the eldest and she didn't give Erin or my parents room to argue as she told them that Erin chose the date intentionally, admitted as much in front of me and Leo, and that this was normal behaviour for her. Lydia told them that if they continued to favor Erin so blatantly, the rest of us would go no-contact—and Lexie would likely follow in the future.
Our dad started yelling. Not at us, but at Erin, surprisingly. I've never seen him so angry before, and to see it directed at Erin was... shocking. Our mom asked us to leave. We didn't hear from anyone on that side until Monday when Erin's fiancé George asked to meet us at our parents'. He apologised to Nadia. He didn't know that the wedding and graduation overlapped, nor did he know that it was something Erin did on purpose. Our dad was the one to tell him.
What followed was a long talk between us, during which we all aired our grievances. I told our parents that we all felt that they valued Erin more. That none of us mattered to them compared to her. Her artwork always went up on the fridge, ours always went in the drawer. I told them that, as a parent, I could never imagine treating my child like that.
Erin tried to argue. She tried to tell us that we were trying to turn her into a bad guy, trying to turn our parents against her, trying to sabtoage her wedding. Our mom told her to be quiet, that it was our time to talk. George stepped in to tell us that he didn't expect us to attend the wedding, but we were welcome to attend the reception. He went so far as to say that he wished he could have cancelled the wedding altogether, but it'd only cost him more money that he'd spent by bringing it forward.
Mom's willingness to hear us out lasted less than 24 hours. By Tuesday, she was begging us to reconsider. Apparently our feelings meant nothing in the face of Erin's dire stress and the fact that people would be questioning our absence on the big day. I haven't spoken to my mom since, but I did ask my dad to bring my some of Nadia's things because she is going to be staying with me full-time.
We have officially gone no-contact with our mother.
Dad took Nadia out for an early-graduation celebration on Wednesday. They had a daddy-daughter date that I think she really needed. He apologised for a lot of things and told her he wanted to do the same with the rest of us. But Wednesday was about her. I'm happy she got that one-on-one time with him. She was happy coming home to me. In our sibling group chat, she said that she really thinks dad is going to try to mend bridges with us, even if mom won't.
Dad also turned up early yesterday morning (I'm talking... 6.30 a.m.) to give Nadia flowers. He told her that he was proud of her. George even called while he was getting ready for his big day to congratulate Nadia, which I really appreciated.
We didn't hear from mom or Erin. Our paternal grandma ended up coming to the graduation with us.
It was a great day. Like, a really great day. We didn't think about the wedding, didn't think about Erin. We just had fun together. My son got to wear his aunt's cap and gown and nearly drowned in the fabric. Our grandma tried on the cap, too. We took photos and sent them to our dad, who posted them in a Facebook post he wrote to congratulate both Erin on her wedding and Nadia on her graduation and we laughed about how it must have pissed off our newly wedded sister. We went out for dinner and we, as siblings, gifted Nadia money for a week away with her best friend, which somebody suggested in a comment on the initial post.
I texted George my congratulations. Despite everything, I do hope he and Erin are happy together. While she might not love us, I don't doubt that Erin loves him. Yes, she wants her spotlight and her moment, but I don't think she's marrying him just for that. Bringing the wedding forward? Sure, that's a hugely malicious tactic to bring herself more attention. Marrying him for the sake of having a wedding? She isn't that type of narcissist.
As of right now, I plan on staying no-contact with my mom unless she makes some big changes. This is a sentiment shared not only by the majority of my siblings, but is also encouraged by our dad and grandma. She's tried reaching out to me and my partner, mostly berating us for not attending the wedding and accusing us of planning to keep her grandchild away from her.
At the moment, our summer looks busy! We're planning on filling it with as many family outings as possible before Nadia leaves for college. We've also got Josh's 29th birthday to plan! Our dad's even joining in! This might cause a bigger rift between him and mom, but for now, at least, it looks like we're his priority. Lydia's threat really did something to him.
Thanks everyone who left comments on the original post! I know they really cheered Nadia up when she was worrying about whether or not she was doing the right thing by choosing herself. Part of me wishes we could've taken this stand earlier, but it took us a while to find our voices. Looking into the future, I do see two empty spaces at my own wedding, but I also see five siblings cheering my on. I'm happy with that.
Update 2 Oct 31, 2023
It's been about 5 months since I've last posted, and I've had some requests for an update, so I figured I'd sit down and write one up. Bare in mind, a lot can happen in 5 months, and that's definitely true for this!
​
Let me start off with July. Erin and George went on their Honeymoon, and their absence sent our Mom into a frenzy. She wasn't used to having no one around; someone was always visiting. Mostly Erin, but the rest of us would visit out of obligation and to see Nadia and Lexie. With Erin on her Honeymoon and the rest of us NC, Mom had no visitors and she really didn't like that. Literally the DAY after Erin left, we started getting bombarded with phone calls. She tried convincing Nadia first, which Lydia thought was a strategic move because Nadia is the more timid of all of us and, thus, more likely to be persuaded. When Nadia turned her down, she turned her sights on the rest of us. We all got identical phone calls with her trying to persuade us to go visit her, to understand her, to see things from Erin's perspective. She even brought up the circumstances of Erin's premature birth and how it was a miracle that she was even here. Josh told her to 'do better with Lexie.' Lydia blocked her number.
​
When the phone calls didn't work, she started turning up at our homes. She continued spewing much of the same shit she had over the phone and before the wedding. She didn't understand what she'd done so wrong, why we were treating her like this. She called me ungrateful and disrespectful. She accused us of harbouring 'unnecessary jealousy' towards Erin and that she loved us all equally. I didn't respond to these comments. I was just trying to prevent her from going inside and saying the same things to Nadia, who was with my partner and son in the living room. Her comments didn't deserve a response, and when she was done I asked her to leave as calmly as I could, but truthfully, I felt a little like crying. But who wouldn't feel shitty with their mom yelling in their face like that, trying to downplay years of pain and calling it 'unnecessary jealousy?'
​
My siblings and I have been let down time and time again by her and our dad ever since Erin was born. They missed out on so many things over the years, both big and small. But we had one thing. One thing. One thing that they never missed and we were happy with just that one thing, and that was our HS Graduations, but they couldn't give that to Nadia. All we had were our HS Graduations. They missed Josh's college graduation because Erin broke her leg. It was an accident, I get that, but they never made it up to him. They never celebrated this huge achievement afterwards, and he just had to grin and bear it. Our Mom didn't turn up to my partner's babysitter after making such a huge fuss about it because Erin didn't want to go and wanted them to get their nails done together instead.
​
But our jealousy is unnecessary?
​
Sorry.
​
I don't know how I managed to stay calm when she was yelling at me, but I did. Asking her to leave made her switch tactics though, and she started calling out for my son, trying to coax him to go to her and telling me that she had a right to see her grandson. My partner stepped in then, because she was seething, and took my place at the door. Mom yelled some more but she left when my partner threatened to call the cops.
​
Mom repeated this song and dance with my older siblings but similarly got nowhere with them.
​
Then came the Facebook posts. Indirect rants about ungrateful people and how shocking it is that 'some kids' could turn against their parents so easily. Erin somehow got involved while on her honeymoon and called Lydia to scold her for being mean to our mom. But as I've said before, Lydia is angry and she's had enough. Whatever she said to Erin prevented her from calling the rest of us.
​
There was then a Facebook post about how much it hurt to be kept from a grandchild. Now, there were no names mentioned, but there is only one grandchild and that is my son. My mom's sister called me. There was yelling. I blocked the number.
​
I know Dad was trying to convince our Mom to just... leave us alone. He kept apologizing because she just wasn't listening to him.
​
Erin came home after two weeks. She tried reaching out to Lydia again, asking for us all to talk because, and this is a quote from Lydia, 'clearly you (we) all have some issues to work out.' We did not turn up. Erin was very angry at that because she's not used to us turning up for her.
​
July wasn't all bad though. While our Mom was on a rampage, our Dad was still trying to do better by us. And he's improved a lot! In July, he and I went out for a meal together, just the two of us, and grabbed a drink, and he apologized. It wasn't a generic apology that he could've repeated to all of us, about how he's sorry that he hurt us and neglecting us, but he brought up specific instances that he wanted to apologize for. He thought back on all those years and picked out moments that he wanted to apologize to me for. I know he did the same for the others, but having him apologize for things like cancelling a fishing trip because Erin 'needed him' was something I wasn't expecting.
​
And I never really cared for fishing, but I wanted to go on that trip because I always saw it on TV, you know? I'd always see a dad and son fishing together and I wanted to have that. I wanted dad to prove that I was a priority to him somewhere deep down. It didn't happen, and I never asked again.
​
But we went fishing in July. What started as a trip between the two of us soon grew into a family day out when my siblings expressed an interest in going fishing, too. My brothers first, then Nadia, and even Lydia who hates the smell of fish. Dad brought Lexie and I brought my son, and it was great. It was one of the best days of my life. I suck at fishing, but I'm pretty great at collecting seashells. It was brilliant.
​
Our parents did end up arguing when Dad went home. I wasn't there, so I don't know every little detail, but from what Dad told me, the argument was mostly because Mom didn't understand why we were still in contact with him and not her. She found it insulting that we were repairing our relationship with him. She was angry that Dad wasn't pushing us to forgive her, or why he wasn't stopping us from 'acting out.' She was angry that he didn't extend an invitation to her and Erin for the fishing trip, and she was even angrier when he explained that their presence would make us uncomfortable.
​
Josh turned 29 and the end of July. We booked an escape room for the five of us siblings, then we met our dad and partners for dinner that evening. Josh introduced us to his new partner for the first time. All of our attention was on Josh, the day was completely about him, which was a first for our family. Then there was a party thrown for him by his friends which I came out of with a massive hangover.
​
Mom started giving us the silent treatment in the middle of August. Dad moved out in September. While we were getting the silent treatment, Dad was baring the brunt of her anger and it really took it out of him. He was trying to do better by us and she was trying to villainise us, and he ultimately told her that if she didn't take accountability for her actions soon, then he'd be contacting a lawyer. Mom didn't take him seriously. He's been staying in Lydia's guest room since. Mom doubled down and said that he was blind for not seeing how we were manipulating him. Unlike the rest of us, Dad obviously still has regular contact with Erin—and according to him, she's even told Mom to reconsider. Unsurprisingly, Erin's involvement is what got Mom to relent. I'm not sure if she's thinking about how she's treated us, or if she's silently stewing. I know she asked Dad if he's going to move back home but he said that it was better for them to have space right now. Personally, I'm struggling to see an outcome where our Mom sincerely admits that she was in the wrong. I think she'll say it just to get Dad back home and the rest of us talking to her again. I don't think she'll ever hold us to the same level as Erin.
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In brighter news, there's officially less than a year left until my own wedding. Currently, there is no place for my mom or Erin. My partner Jade and I are having our fathers wear ties that match me and my groomsmen, something I originally didn't plan to do, but I'm happy with the change. Nadia's settled in at college. She's made some new friends with kids in her classes, and she's enjoying. She's happy. Even though we have an active group chat, she facetimes me every few days just to talk. Most of what she says I've already read in the gc, but I'm always willing to listen to her stories again. Nadia never used to talk this much. She looks a lot happier now than she did five months ago.
​
I think that's everything. I'm sorry for the novel, but like I said, a lot can happen in five months.

NEW UPDATE

Update 3 June 1, 2024
Original
Previous Update
So, it's been about 7 months since my last update and I thought one was well overdue! I actually intended on sitting down and writing one out a few months ago, but life got in the way. A lot has happened, most of it good, some of it not. I'm sure you can guess what or who the reason for the not good moments were.
Mom was silent through Lydia's birthday in October, but made a huge song and dance for Erin's in November. None of us make it a habit to check her social media accounts, and honestly we'd have blocked her if it weren't for Lexie, but Leo sent a screenshot in the group chat about a post she'd made. The post essentially painted Erin as the perfect child, her precious angel, and said how she'd always be proud of her. She didn't even mention Lydia on her page at all during her birthday, but I can't say I'm surprised.
Thanksgiving was different, but fun. We all drove out to our paternal grandparents' place a few hours away to spend it with them. Technically, it was supposed to be an in-law year, since Jade and I tend to switch who we spend it with so that neither one of our families were being left out, but she suggested we switch it up this year so that I could be with my siblings on the first big holiday since the fallout. My in-laws are great people and have been really supportive throughout all of this, and I'm really grateful for them, too. Mom didn't reach out to us on the day, but I could tell she was fuming. It didn't help that she was being asked questions after Lydia posted a Thanksgiving day photo that didn't include her or Erin.
In December, she started a group chat with all of us and Dad essentially telling us it was time to stop this 'petty drama' and focus on family. But none of us are stupid. We all know she wanted to show off her picture perfect family over Christmas, and how could she do that when all but two of her children can't stand to be near her? Erin was in the group, but didn't speak up, which was odd for her, but none of us really thought much of it at the time. Dad said he'd swing by to see Lexie, but he had no interest in spending Christmas with her until she was ready to admit to the pain they'd caused us. A week later, my birthday also went ignored by her, but that was fine. It only proved that she had no intention of admitting she was the bad guy.
She got more desperate as Christmas drew closer. The messages and phone calls started up again, but I could ignore those for the most part. What I couldn't ignore was coming home from work to find her on my doorstep. She told me she'd been waiting for ages, like I was expecting her visit and had done it intentionally... which, honestly, I probably would have given the state of our relationship. I'm just grateful my family wasn't home—Jade was on her way back from work herself, and our son with her parents. I didn't want to invite her inside, but honestly given how desperate she looked, I also didn't want to deal with her where my neighbors could see.
This woman told me that Christmas was about family and forgiveness. She told me I was taking it too far by keeping her grandson away from her, and how confused he must be without her. She said it like I was using my son to punish her. I told her it was better this way, because we all knew what'd happen if Erin had a child someday. My son would be pushed to the side like the rest of us were, and I didn't want that for him. She said I was being ridiculous and once again used that line, I love you all equally.
I asked her to leave, because nothing was changing my stance, and I wasn't going to be spending Christmas with her. She got angry. She started yelling, and while I want to say I kept my composure, I didn't. I started yelling too. The more I yelled, the more worked up I got, to the point that I started shedding tears. Reddit, this was years of hurt rushing to the surface. I don't think I will ever understand how she can claim to love us all equally but tell her crying son to stop being so dramatic. She left only when Jade came back and saw the state I was in. Jade's little but fierce and would do anything for me and my son, and I swear my mom left terrified of her that day.
The social media posts picked up again. She played victim, shared posts about children not respecting the sacrifices mothers make for them and stuff like that. She posted how we didn't appreciate all that she'd done for us, but we all ignored it. We did our own Christmas. Jade, our son, and I visited the in-laws on Christmas morning, watched our son and nieces open their presents there, and then went over to Lydia's house. She offered to host us all this year. Dad took his place in the kitchen, joined by his assistant chefs Josh and Lydia's husband.
We didn't see our Mom or Erin until January. Lexie turned 5, so there was a party, and we weren't about to punish our sister for the actions of the Demon that birthed us. So we went. There were some questions, but people didn't push when it was obvious that none of us wanted to get into it. Mom acted like everything was fine, but Erin stayed away from us. At the end of the party, as we were helping clean up, Mom said it was good that we were finally putting things behind us. Lydia told her the only thing we were putting behind us was her. That started her off again, but she quickly realized she was outnumbered and headed inside. That was when Erin approached us with her husband. Honestly, I was expecting her to tell us to go easy on our mom or something, but instead she apologized. She said she'd been doing a lot of thinking since all of this started, and she realized that treated us badly her whole life, and part of that was influenced by the way our parents treated her. She told us she didn't expect us to forgive her, but that she just wanted to tell us that she was sorry. We left a little while later.
There was silence at the end of January and in February for Leo and Nadia's birthdays, but we were expecting that. Our days never did matter to her, after all.
I got married in April without my mom present. It was hands down one of the best days of my life, second only to the birth of my son. Jade and I were surrounded by the people we cared about most and who cared about us in return. I had both of my brothers as my best men, Nadia and Lydia were bridesmaids, too. It was better than anything I could've imagined. Honestly, I'm still blown away by the fact I now get to call Jade my wife. It's been amazing. But, I'm sure you're all wondering how my mother handled this, and I can tell you plainly that she did not handle it well.
Truthfully, when we sent out invitations, part of me hoped that the news just... wouldn't get back to her? I hoped it'd go smoothly enough that I wouldn't actually have to talk to her about this decision, but of course that'd be too easy. She showed up a few days later banging on my door, demanding I talk to her. I went out. I didn't let her in, despite knowing that the neighbors could see us, and that was solely because I didn't want her inside my home where my son was. I didn't want her scaring him like she was undoubtedly doing. She demanded to know what I was playing at, how I could be so cruel, how I could exclude her from such a special day. I told her plainly that my wedding was a day for me to celebrate with my close loved ones, and she wasn't someone I considered close or a loved one anymore. She'd made her bed, she had to lie in it.
Part of me worried that she'd turn up at my wedding. She came by the house a few more times, but stopped when I threatened to call the cops. I didn't do it sooner because I guess I'm soft at heart and didn't want to see my mom in any trouble, but every time she showed up to spew some bullshit about me being a terrible son for doing this to her, it drained me. There were social media posts, of course. I had relatives reaching out to me to tell me I should invite her, what kind of son am I, etc., but they stopped when I told them I'd take back their invites, too. No one mentioned her at the wedding, and she didn't try showing up. She did, however, try to prevent Lexie from being a flower girl, like I promised, but Dad quickly nipped that in the bud.
Which takes me to the next point, my parents are officially over. Dad sent her divorce papers sometime in February, and I don't think he's looking back at all. This is something that also shocks me, because this time last year, he was much the same as she was. He was someone who cared more about Erin than any of us, someone who brushed off our achievements if they somehow interfered with hers, and now he was an advocate for us. Every time Mom posted something on social media belittling us, he responded with a post uplifting us.
I never imagined having such a good relationship with my dad, but here we are. We helped him move into his own place back in March. He's a new man, honestly. He's worked out a 50/50 custody agreement for Lexie, because as much as he'd be happy to have full custody, he wants to believe that she can change like he did. He has said, however, that if he catches even the slightest hint of Lexie being mistreated like we were, he'd be filing for it.
In the case of my siblings, life has been going good for them, too. Leo got a raise at work and has adopted a dog that my son is obsessed with—to the point that I think we may need to get a dog ourselves, haha. Josh and his partner are going strong. He fits right into our family, and I couldn't be happier for Josh. He's found someone that really cares about him, and I can tell he's in love. Maybe there will be wedding bells there soon? Lexie... well, Lexie's 5 so there's not really much going on in her life. I think she recently made my dad join her tea party.
QUICK EDIT TO ADD: Lexie is obviously aware that things have changed. She's naturally confused about it all. Things changed so much in the space of a year, and I can't imagine what it was like for her living with our parents when Mom was angry all of the time. We've let her know that we'll always be there for her and that we're safe spaces if she needs to talk about her feelings or if she has any questions to ask. We don't want this affecting her more than it already has. Josh is the one who's made headway on that. He works in childcare and has experience in things like this. Dad is thinking about setting up therapy for her.
But I'm sure you're all wondering about Nadia and Erin. Nadia's great. She's honestly thriving. I think being away from our mom, Erin, and the pressures at home has really helped her find herself as a person. She's made new friends, excelling in class, and she's just... an overall happier person, which is all I care about. She's happy, I'm happy. She's been invited to move in with my dad, now that he has his own place and enough room for her and Lexie, but she hasn't decided on an answer yet. She's more than welcome to stay here if she wants, but I know that she also wants to be closer with our dad. I'll support her no matter what, and I've told her that she can try it with dad if she wants, and she can come back if it's too weird for her.
Erin is another story. We are no longer NC with her, but we are LC. After her apology at Lexie's party, Leo reached out to see if it was genuine. All of us were pretty stuck on what to do, to be honest. Erin was never someone to bow her head and apologize, but how could we know if it was genuine and not a ploy to get us to forgive our mom or something? Erin asked to speak with us in person when Leo reached out to her, and we agreed because we were curious to see how it'd go. We also agreed that if she tried anything, we would be leaving immediately and would block her again.
The meeting happened in mid-January, between Lexie and Leo's birthdays. We met at her place. Erin looked like a nervous wreck, like she hadn't slept all night, and honestly it was really weird because she's normally so put together? Like even when she was throwing tantrums, she looked better than this. We sat down and she started off by apologizing to us again, she said that she was needlessly cruel and unfair to us, especially Nadia, and even apologized for trying to ruin her graduation. She said when we all backed out of our wedding, she was confused and hurt because none of us had said no to her before. She thought we were closer than that, but realized now that it was one-sided. She thought we were close and we just wanted to be as far away from her as possible.
We asked our questions and she answered every one. 'Why did you think we were close?' Because she'd been acting this way since childhood, partially encouraged by our parents' treatment of us vs her, and assumed that since none of us said anything about it, we were fine with it. 'Did you ever feel sorry?' She didn't, before this whole fiasco. It was normal for her to be the center of attention. Everything was always about her, and she was trying to unlearn that. 'Why now?' It came down to her husband. He'd tried talking to her a few times about her treamtent of us, but she never saw an issue with it since, well, we never made it an issue before. He didn't like that response, but he loved her and she was a lot kinder outside of our family unit, so he hoped that if he kept talking to her about it, she'd eventually stop. They fought when she announced their engagement on Lydia's anniversary and they fought again when she booked their party on Nadia's birthday. He couldn't understand how she could be so cruel to her family, and she told him that he didn't understand our family dynamic, and that we were cool with it. The stuff with Nadia's graduation damn near ruined their relationship, and I don't know how she convinced him to stay with her, because George admitted he was very close to walking out the door.
She said she was on our mom's side for a while because she really did think we were just acting out. We'd never been like this before, so why were we like this now? She didn't get why we were ignoring her, why we'd suddenly cut her off, and admittedly had a break down over it. George told her we'd likely been carrying that hurt and bitterness with us for years. She said that she knew she was a brat, but didn't realize how bad she really was until George and our dad laid it all out for her. That's why she told mom to leave us be, so that we could have peace from it all, and it turns out Dad wasn't the only one bearing the brunt of Mom's anger. She was constantly blasting Erin's phone, turning up at her place, dragging our names through the mud. It got worse when Dad moved out, and suddenly Erin was all she had in the world. Mom called us awful names that Erin (thankfully) didn't repeat. Mom told Erin that she was 'all she had' now.
George vouched for how bad our Mom was, said he'd come home from work often to find Erin staring at a ringing phone. She didn't want to answer but knew if she didn't eventually then Mom would turn up at her house. I know Erin was... awful to us ever since she was born, but it really hurt seeing her like this. I think she herself was a victim of our mom's behaviour, albeit in a drastically different way. She said she wanted to reach out to us sooner, but knew we probably didn't want to speak to her. She just couldn't help herself when she saw us at Lexie's party and needed to apologize.
We parted ways conflicted. One on hand, Erin had always been selfish. She'd been manipulative and downright mean, she always found a way to overshadow us at every turn, at every achievement. Nadia's graduation was proof of that. On the other hand, she looked tired. She looked worn and she looked guilty and I didn't want to believe that was an act put on for the sake of getting us to forgive her and then our mother. None of us were sure how to proceed, but then Jade suggested that we invite her to the wedding. Or, rather, we invite her to the reception, after everyone's eaten. We had a few friends coming at that time, too, who couldn't attend the wedding itself due to inescapable enagements. That way, if Erin did try to bring our mom, security would catch it and we'd know for certain whether or not Erin had turned a new leaf.
Reddit, Erin attended the reception. She didn't bring our mom, didn't even mention her. She and George arrived, and Erin cried as she congratulated me. She told Jade she looked beautiful, and hugged my son. At some point, she took Nadia aside, and when they came back, they were both a litle teary eyed. Nadia later told me that Erin wanted to apologize to her properly, one to one, and didn't know if she'd get another opportunity to do so. George thanked me for giving Erin a chance. He told me that she really could be a warm, kind-hearted person. I told him I hoped to meet that version of her some day. And I mean it. If Erin is truly as warm and kind and wonderful as George believes her to be, then I want nothing more than to meet that version of my sister.
Now, you may be wondering, OP, you forgot to mention Lydia when talking about your siblings! That was on purpose. You see, it's a good thing Dad moved out of her spare room. She's going to need that space in a few months, and she's not the only one. I knew Lydia was pregnant because she sat both me and Jade down to tell us she was pregnant and worried about her bridesmaid dress, even offered to step down if it was a problem. We, of course, told her not to be ridiculous and that we'd cover the cost of any alterations needed.
In the lead up to the wedding, Jade told me that she planned on having Lydia make an announcement during the speeches. I foolishly assumed that Lydia was going to announce her pregnancy to our extended family, and while I was a little hesitant, I agreed since Jade wanted this—and well, at least she'd gotten permission, unlike someone would have. Reddit, Lydia made a speech about pregnancy, and how she couldn't wait to be a mom, and how she was grateful to be sharing at least part of her pregnancy journey with Jade.
Reddit, this was how I found out my wife was expecting our second child. Again, I wish I could say I maintained my composure, but I didn't. I cried. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn't help myself, and I'm sure my friends will forever make fun of me for it. It felt like all the shit we'd been through this past year was worth it all for that moment. To have my family rally around me in an event that I'm sure would somehow have been made about Erin and her wedding if my Mom had been present.
I haven't spoken much about how this past year has made me feel. Truthfully, I have felt like shit for most of it. I felt like curling up and disappearing. I felt rotten and useless simply because my mother told me I was. I felt sometimes like I couldn't show how I was feeling, because Nadia was here and I didn't want her to blame herself anymore than she did. I'm in therapy now, and I'm not the only one, and I'm healing. Right now, I'm happy. I'm so unfathomably happy that I can barely understand it. I'm happier than I've ever been and I know my siblings will say the same.
While our Mom will probably say that our family has fallen apart, that's not true. Hers has. The family that she made has fallen apart, but ours has grown stronger. It has grown so unbelievably strong. We were a united front before, but it's like now we've upgraded our defences. We're coming out of this with stronger relationships with each other, a real relationship with our dad, and two new family members on the way. This is what our Mom is missing out on and it's all her own fault.
Maybe I'll update you again in the future. I'm not sure if our mom knows yet about Lydia and Jade's pregnancies, but the announcement is out there. We do have her blocked on social media though, so maybe no one's told her the good news. Erin hasn't, at least. So if anything happens on that front, I'll let you know, but for now, I'm happy with where my life is. Thank you all for your support, again, and I hope you have an amazing day.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

AITA for kicking my mom out of Our wedding??? Side note* not great with grammar so forgive me on my writing.
Storytime: I 24 female is getting ready to be married in 9 days from now to my lovely fiance male 27. We are currently running into issues with my mom his mother in law and family. I met my lovely fiance back in college and he was just everything I wanted and more. I note here that before and while I'm in college my parents (specifically my mother) didn't want me or my sisters dating anyone without her permission. They were strict,but me not having it want to pursue dating since I was ready to be with someone my age or within my age group. At the time I was 17 and just met let's call him Al in a US government class. We be came friends after sometime and then a month later started dating. Overtime of dating one another Al told his parents about me but I chose not to tell mine about him. Your probably wondering "why?" Well for me like I said they were strict about their not dating anyone. We would message one another back and forth over messages and then switch to talking on the phone. My extended family started noticing that I would say I love you to someone that not my parents but didn't bother to tell anyone. Well they tried but failed.
Fast forward to 2 year and I still haven't told my parents about him and she just found from my aunt about it. I understand some of us tell our parents about "the one" but I just didn't want hear one the same lectures she gives about guys just wanting one thing. She was upset then about but it really to turn out to be she didn't like him at all but I just brushed it off. Over time everything Al tried to do for me or with me my mom never seem to like it she just hate or just not care at all and say I couldn't do things with Al.
Fast forward again 2 more it's the summer and my birthday just passed he want to do something for my birthday since it had passed and my mom wasn't having. She said no to home leave and going anywhere and told him to give me the where she proceeded to tell me to get rid of him now. For squeeze: at the time I was still living with my parents and if I want to go somewhere he would have to call and ask her if I could leave to go or I would have to, need I remind you I was 22 at the time. But this sadden me so that he decided to sit and talk with me. I had to stop him in the middle of talking and go inside to grab something only to come back out and found him on the ground with a ring in a box asking me to marry him. Over joyed I said yes with no though or hesitation. Then he got a call from his mom to come home and he left happy and excited and overjoyed about the proposal of course. Now ran back inside to share the news with my sisters and they where happy too. Well that happiness didn't last long because as soon as my parents got home and I told them the news. Oh how the mood change my mom start fussing and saying how I ruined my life and I was fucking thinking straight and that I just said yes to being a housewife with no future. This hurt my feelings and I was pissed her my father did nothing and just sat there and kept agreeing with her. Then she grab my phone and proceeded to call Al. Al thought it was me who call to say how excited I was about the engagement but only to hear my mother calling him a less of man. And that he could have just came to my parents and ask for their permission to Marry me. Al said no I don't due the lack of respect shown and given towards him. More details to why objected to that; overtime he would hear the conversation my mother would have with me about him and how he's manipulating me, cheating one (which he was because he's not like that), and that I was just a girl he was stringing along like a dog. Now my mom was upset that he refused and hung in his face after call him a useless sht ni*a. To futher more explain she even call the mom out and cussed her by calling her a B and said I make my daughter decisions for her. My mom basically came for his entire family Al's father and brother included.
Again fast forward 2 years and I came to turns that she is just not a great person to be living under and I moved out after graduating last year and I start my wedding planning last year and started to get the ball rolling on getting things done. But a wedding to me means having your family right?!, by your side as you plan, well I tried again with my parents(mom) and told her about going dress shopping with me, this woman chose to go to a family gathering then be with me. Strike one I said ok then I invited to go venue looking with me and Al and Al's mom but she looked at me and said I don't want even be apart around that B that took my baby away from me. And said if she at the wedding I'm not coming. Strike Two. Now I meant to you that I have sisters and she refused for them to be in my wedding and said that I'm not paying for their bridesmaids dress and that would have to if I want to. Now me and Al are short on money but make the best we can to have the wedding the way we want but while on a budget, that meant our bridesmaids and groomsmen have to buy their dress. Now I have two beautiful niece who just got adopted to the family and I want them to be apart of it but my mom said no at first, then change her mind and demanded that I paid for the dress and not my older sister whom I call Bre. Bre did like Al and Al didn't like her and Al asked me Why would include someone like that who doesn't want help nor contribute to my wedding which by the way his mom Al and I and stuck paying for because oh yeah my parent said and I Quote "we to broke to afford a wedding, and he should be the one paying for it!" "If he loves you like he say he does he will pay for the entire wedding and your dress!" But back what Al asked I told well I want my family to be apart of the wedding best way I wanted to be.
Fast forward it's December and my mom decided to tell my family whom I work with and others family members that she lied to me and she not coming to the wedding she said she not gonna show. My dad said the said the same thing and said he not walking me either. This hurt worse and so I just decided after all the stress and planing now we are days out that I'm let my mother in law ask besides she was really my backbone who was helping run things smoothly. She call her in May and asked her hey are you coming to the wedding your daughter wants you there and she told her yeah I would be there I wouldn't leave my baby alone on her big day for I want to be there to support her. But a few weeks later I tolded everyone my wedding was going to be kid free since that what me and Al wanted. And everyone just went to blowing up my mom phone they were complaining because my side of the family had kids and Al side didn't have kids. They told her I was not right for not want to have kids at our wedding and she agree because after all the only two kids I wanted was my two niece who where only gonna be there for the ceremony and not the reception. My mom called me later saying that it was a dissing move to make that decision and that me and al should have thought about have a place for kids at our wedding and she is pulling the girls out. Now here I spent 50 dollars a peice on their dress and 20 on the accessory for their hair and shoes for the big day. So when I asked her she need to pay me her or Bre can pay me back she hung up in my face and texted me you can forget about it. Strike Three. So after dealing with her about our wedding and her talking negatively nonsense about it I decided to kick her out of the wedding as whole for all the problems she was causing. So I as am I the A-hole for kicking her out of our wedding?

My two sisters (also 2 out of the 4 bridesmaids) are upset with me because I might not invite my father to my wedding. So, I have always had a complicated relationship with my father. I am the middle child, I have one younger sister and one older sister, all 4 years apart. I am 35/f and have been engaged for 4 years, but finally set a wedding date for July 6th. We only had 3 months to prepare, it was kind of forced on us, because my fiancé's father lives across the United States and is coming to visit and talked us into finally getting married. We have been putting it off for 4 years due to finances and time.
Besides the point, my real father, and mother are divorced, (due to my father using drugs for 6 years at the time (abusing his prescriptions) and not going to rehab when given an ultimatum) and have been divorced since I was 17. My mother moved out of our house, and I was the only child who stayed behind with my father until the house was taken by the bank. So, I'm 17/18 (graduated HS when I was 17) living with my dad, and I injury my back at work. I was having a very bad day in a lot of pain, and he offered me one of his pain pills. Not whole but crushed up to inhale through my nose. After that, I was addicted. I started seeing doctor after doctor to get pain pills, which I did need, and was finally prescribed. Then I started abusing them. During the 3 or so years we got to live at this house for free, he invited two druggie friends to stay (it was a large 5 bedroom, 3 floor plus a basement house.) I partied with them and was having the time of my life. After we finally had to move out, my father moved in with his ill grandmother, to take care of her and I moved a city away with my boyfriend (who also did pills) at the time.
Not long later, things didn't work out between my BF and I ended up moving back to my hometown and couch surfed until finally being invited to stay at my grandmothers, sleeping in her recycler. She ended up passing not even a month later, and so I stayed, and it was just my father and I for about 10 years. I was getting bad into pills, (a lot provided by him) and other stuff I won't mention, but I finally got sober in 2012, (I was still living with my dad). Found a job working over nights, so we barely saw each other, since I slept during the day. We were not very close, just talked during passing.
During my sober years, my father would bring friends who used over, and people he barely knew over. He would always use in front of me (I was still sober). Towards the last couple years of living there things got worse and worse. He would let homeless people he barely knew stay in the basement. One evening I woke up to screaming (I stayed in the attic, and this house had 2 floors plus a basement). I went down to find my dad, and he was nowhere to be found. I tried to call him, no answer. I walked down to the basement to see what the yelling was about, and it was some stupid couple argument. I finally got ahold of my dad, but I had to endure this for 15-20 mins, trying to calm them down and get them the hell out of my house! He let a couple park their RV on our street and use our shower and bathroom. All of these people were on drugs. There was so much drama and my father put me in so much danger so many times. He even let a friend of his cook meth in the basement! He put me in so much danger living there. Luckly, my mom finally got out of her apartment lease and found a townhome with 2 bedrooms and got me the F out of there.
So, my wedding is coming, and I decided not to invite my father, because for one I don't speak to him, he was actually arrested for drugs last year, and still hangs out with the woman whose BF was the informant for the FBI and rated him out for giving her pills and other) He is still living this lifestyle and me being sober ad doing great in life, I don't want anything to do with him until he changes his ways.
I finally told my sisters that I wasn't sure I wanted my father at my wedding. He gets so high he cant even stand up straight. They don't think he would get that high for my wedding though. I disagree. Hess on ADHD meds which keep him up for days, and then he gets really wobbly, and falls asleep standing up. They keep blaming me for not inviting him because they think I blame him for getting me into drugs which is not even the reason, I go to NA and have taken accountability for my actions and do not blame anyone but myself. My sisters do not see it that way. They think my father should walk me down the aisle (because it is a "tradition", and he should be included since he may not live much longer (he is 65 and had been using for 45 years or longer. I have so much trauma from living with him, and I am still triggered by drugs, and I feel if he is there, I may be triggered and ask him for something to take the edge of the stressful day. I am worried he will be late (he is notorious for being late) and fall asleep during the ceremony. Plus, he may stumble while walking me down the aisle. I already asked my mother to walk me down the aisle months ago, so if I do end up inviting him, they will both be involved in the walking down the aisle. I feel if I do not invite him, my sisters will drop out of the wedding (they are 2 out of 4 bridesmaids) and I am afraid they will disown me or be mad at me for a long time.
I talked to my older sister over the phone last night and she did make some good points and now I'm on the fence. I feel like I am being guilt tripped into inviting him just because he is my "father". I was the only child who was physically punished by this man as a child/teenager and my sisters never got hit by him, only grounded. I hated my father as a child. Then as an 18-year-old I grew up and forgave him. I just don't think I can forgive him for his continued lifestyle. And I don't want my wedding ruined because he is too messed up. I do plan on calling him and giving his stipulations, but if he refuses, then I will have an easy choice. Did I mention he has talked crap on my fiancé to me? I don't even tell him anything bad about him, yet he always has something to bad to say out of the blue in text. I think he probably thinks my fiancé is keeping me from him. I have him blocked at the moment since Valentines Day 2024. I feel like my sisters are only going by their feelings and not the facts. Plus, my father and mother do not get along, so I have to worry about my father trying to start crap with my mother. AITAH for not wanting my hard drug using dad at one of the best days of my life in case he ruins it?
UPDATE:
My younger sister started texting me last night and said my fiancé was controlling my thoughts (I assume about my deciding factor of inviting my father) but that's not the case actually, my fiancé is totally supportive of whatever decision I make. He has even agreed with points my two sisters have made about my father needing to be there. Even my mother is supportive of my decision when my father and her don't even get along!
So, I told my sister that wasn't the case, and I am Christian so, I quoted a bible verse 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." Meaning in my father's case, he is not honoring God by using drugs, and having sex with prostitutes (with having an uncurable STD at that) and sex with girls in their early 20's that want pills from him.
She was being blasphemes towards our religion also. She was telling me to tell her a bible verse that says the father is supposed to walk his daughter down the aisle. from what I read that is only a tradition, and I couldn't find any bible verse (correct me if I'm wrong please).
She tried to say she knows the bible more than my fiancés whole family combined which actually made us laugh because his mother, stepdad, real father and stepmother, are the most religious people I have ever met in my life. They go to church every Sunday, for 6 plus hours (the service is only 1-2 hours). They a best friends with the pastor and his wife. They go to bible studies, they read devotions every morning, they read the bible every day, they pray for everyone and anyone who needs it. They forgive anyone that has wronged them. They preach at out of state churches sometimes, and they preach to strangers and have actually brought complete strangers to our church who wanted to know Jesus.
She also called my fiancé a leech, and a false prophet. She also said my fiancés family was weird. She has only met his mother and sister once which was at my bridal shower last Saturday and they hardly even talked to anyone because they are usually loud and talkative but wanted to be respectful and not scare off my family lol.
Before I got with my fiancé 4 years ago, I was lost, and he brought me back to God. Not sure what she means by him being a leech, the only thing I can think of is when we first got together 4 years ago, he jumped from job to job for a couple years, maybe stayed at 10 different jobs for less than a month, but he has been at his current job for almost a year now and he enjoys it and plans to retire from there. My older sister's boyfriend is worse than him at keeping a job.
She works at a strip club waitressing on the weekends, that doesn't seem very religious to me, does it?
Then she proceeds to tell me she never liked my fiancé and doesn't approve of us getting married (that was the last straw and I immediately told her she was uninvited to our wedding) if you don't approve of us getting married, there is no reason for you to attend let alone stand at the alter next to me as my bridesmaid.
I planned on calling my father tonight to put everything out on the table, but I am putting that on hold until I hear what my other sister has to say (she is also a bridesmaid, and her son is a groomsmen). I told her if she wanted to back out now that my other sister is not welcome, tell me now so we can make other arrangements since our wedding is 1 month away. If she does decide to back out, then I won't be inviting my father because the only 3 people who even cared about him being there won't be attending possibly.
I have her blocked at the moment, because I have a deadline at work due Friday the end of the day (lol yet im on Reddit) and I know she is going to text me constantly and I don't have time or want to read her crap and have it upset me more than I am. I am going to give it over the weekend and see if she apologizes, and if she does, she can come to the wedding, but she cannot be a bridesmaid anymore.
Her two twin daughters were going to be the flower girls, and her two younger sons were going to be the ring bearers. We have other family that can do that, so I am not worried, but it is sad that she is being selfish and now my nieces and nephews don't get to see us get married or be involved in the wedding. I might still have them involved but my sister can sit by my father as he dozes off and drools on her shoulder from being so high. :)
I will update reddit next week if anything happens!

This might be long so I apologize for that but I just need to vent. Anyways a couple days ago I wrote on here about how me and my partner were supposed to be getting our own place and how I didn’t want to be financially responsible for his daughter and how I didn’t know how to approach the situation. I didn’t want to be responsible because with my partner or ex I guess, if you give him an inch, he’s going to take a 17 miles. I knew if I started that, he’d expect me to pay all the time and I’d have to pick up his slack because he’s already not good with money. Now this is just the start.
We’ve been looking for spots for a while now and were finally going to move out in July because he has to be out of his place by then and he quite literally has no where else to go unless he gets another roommate. So we had a discussion a month ago about how we’re not going to spend any money that’s not a necessity and we’re going to save up so we can get our place and be able to buy all the furniture and stuff and he agrees. “Yeah babe, we definitely gotta save and I know we can do it. I just gotta stop eating out so much”.
This is where I get pissed because THIS man just needed me to get him food a week ago because he had no more left, then gets paid this Thursday and says he’s taking his daughter out to an amusement park because and I quote “she’s been misbehaving” then lies to me and says it was just her but he took his niece as well ( he did all of this on his dime as well), takes his roommates car to do all of this ( he told me he can no longer use the car because his friend doesn’t want him to a couple weeks ago so I haven’t seen him and haven’t bothered him about coming to see us), then goes to twin peaks 3x since being paid, goes to the movies, goes to the dispensary, goes out to the bar with friends, etc.
So our child has a dr appointment yesterday but where I live there’s no Ubers ( I don’t have a car right now because he crashed it and he also crashed his a while back) so I call him to pick me up since he’s been able to go and do everything under sun with others in the car and he says yes but I have to give him money…. I ask him where all of his went and he says he still has money to do what HE needs to do but coming to get me isn’t apart of his plan and he’s already spent enough so I have to give him money. Keep in mind I just lost my car that I bought a while back because it had problems and the people lied to me about it, I just had surgery a week and a half ago ( ectopic pregnancy) which resulted in me having to get my fallopian tube and an ovary removed and I haven’t been able to work because of it, and the $$ I have now is money I saved that’s keeping me and our kid afloat. He also did not help me with our kid while I was recovering from surgery, my family did.
I’m pissed because I always spot him but this time when I’m not working, just had a surgery, still needing to get our kid to the dr, and I’m using up savings, he asks me for money but he was just spending his whole check like he was baller… Now all of a sudden he needs $$ and I know it’s because he spent it all. Anyways I simply asked him if he asked his sister and BM for gas or $$ while taking their kids out and he says no why would I do that. This man has never asked his BM for gas even when it was my car he was using to go get their kid because she doesn’t have a car either but he asks this of me. He always treats me differently and I’m so tired. If he gets paid he’ll send me $100 and she gets $300. I have to buy our kid a car seat which is $300 and clothes but it’s all on me. I’m just tired, we broke up, mad he’s making me out to be some villain who’s mad that he took his kid out when in reality I’m upset that I’m last on the totem pole, I get treated differently, I’m the one always spending the $$, I always feel used, etc. I feel like him asking me for money was my last straw.
Sorry for the rant y’all, I really needed to vent.
Edit: he also bought a ps5 and headset and tried to lie to me about the price. Then kept saying I was mad because he finally got something nice for himself when I said we should be saving …
Edit: I forgot to add that he also started calling me a weirdo and weird asf after breaking this down for him.

Today I had a new housekeeper come over to quote out our home. She brought her niece and the nieces son (6ish-m). We have two cats that are the friendliest cats in the world. The girl (Penny) is small and more timid with new people, the boy (Theo) acts like a puppy and loves to be involved in everything. They’ve never bit or scratched anyone. We’ve rarely even seen them hiss (huskies are a trigger). The little boy wanted to see them while we walked around so we left him alone. They will hide if they’re not into company so I wasn’t worried. We heard crashing from upstairs and I found the boy running down our stairs with the cats tumbling after him hissing and growling. I thought they were fighting with each other until I picked up Theo and he actually lunged at the boy trying to attack him. As I carried him away and put him in a bedroom, he was hissing and growling like he was feral. It was honestly shocking. The little boy swears nothing happened and he didn’t touch them. The family left and I got Theo out while he continued to hiss and growl. He hid under the bed while Penny came to check on him and he just kept growling and whining. He also fussed with his tail a bit which makes me think it was pulled. I’ve never seen them act like this and it makes me worry something extreme happened. (They’ve been bothered by pushy kids before, little tail pulls - no reaction. They even purr while we trim their nails.) I’m trying to stay calm and I scheduled an x-ray to be safe. Has something like this happened to anyone before? The extreme behavior really scared me.

I have decided that we should start with a history of Italian communism, building out the setting upon which stories can be told and ideas can be relayed.
Those of you who are REALLY lost as to what is up with all of this Italian shit will likely find this post VERY helpful.
…
What we will eventually come to call the PCI was created on on 21 January 1921 as the Communist Party of Italy (PCd'I). This was a result of its secession from the Italian Socialist Party (PSI), the root cause of which originates in the Twenty-One Conditions, a set of guidelines for The (Third) International (which this new party was explicitly founded as a national division of).
Specifically among them, this condition:

Every organisation that wishes to affiliate to the Communist International must regularly and methodically remove reformists and centrists from every responsible post in the labour movement (party organisations, editorial boards, trades unions, parliamentary factions, co-operatives, local government) and replace them with tested communists, without worrying unduly about the fact that, particularly at first, ordinary workers from the masses will be replacing 'experienced' opportunists.
[AUTHORS NOTE: In this context, “Reformist” is anyone who advocated reaching socialism via reform, while “Centrist” would refer to anyone who advocates for a position incorporating both revolution and reform.]

The PSI refused to remove these individuals, unsurprising as it would have wiped out most of their membership. The refusal of the PSI to fall into line with The International would prompt various factions to leave, namely those of Amadeo Bordiga, Antonio Gramsci, and Nicola Bombacci. They formed the Left, Center and Right of this new party (PCd'I) respectively
The largest amongst these factions was the Left, famously abstentionist and led by Amadeo Bordiga. Yet by the end of the war Bordiga’s faction would lose out to Gramsci’s faction, the center.

[AUTHORS NOTE: Gramsci’s faction was based around his inter-party newspaper in Turin, a city you will hear much about during the stories I am preparing to tell you. Gramsci’s faction had originally supported workers councils, as many had sprung up in his base of Turin in 1919. The failure of these led Gramsci to adopt positions more in line with Lenin, for whom he was the favorite amongst the PCd'I.]

…
How did this reversal happen?
FIRST: Do you remember that guy who led the Right faction, Bombacci? Turns out he was literally a fascist. A full on tsundere Mussolinite.
He was captured and executed alongside Mussolini, with his last words being "Long live Mussolini! Long live socialism!". Partisans loyal to the PCd'I would publicly display the bodies in Piazzale Loreto, where the body of Bombacci would be specially marked with a handwritten sign reading "Supertraditore" (Super-Traitor).
Now that is a very fun fact, but we are getting ahead of ourselves here in the timeline. This man’s faction disintegrated long before he would get what he deserved. This disintegration of the parties Right grew disproportionately the parties Center, that faction led by Gramsci.
SECOND: This party was explicitly a section of The International, and The International was now recommending that United Fronts be formed with various democratic parties. The reasons and motivations behind this move are complex, but all stem from the failure of a European revolution to materialize. This fact would eventually result in The International simply becoming a club for Soviet supporters, which itself would naturally result in these supporters’ becoming Soviet puppets and vassals.
Again, I get a bit ahead of myself here. Point being that this order was in direct conflict with the Bordigista principle of abstentionism, but ultimately in harmony with Gramsci’s policy of anti-fascism. I have no doubt that Gramsci’s engaging the struggle against fascism assisted in the growth of his faction generally, even ignoring the benefits of begin the Soviet favorite.
Bordiga’s left faction respected party discipline enough to stay, but increasingly began to withdraw from party life and isolate itself.
THIRD: In 1923 Mussolini arrested all the opposition on trumped up charges. Bordiga was still party leader at this time and thus was one of them, essentially forcing him to resign from his position. He was soon after acquitted, but chose not to reclaim his seat, essentially accepting his role as an oppositionist.
Bordiga would again be arrested in 1926, but this time Gramsci would go with him.

[AUTHORS NOTE: This is in spite of the fact that Gramsci was now a member of parliament, meaning per Italian law he should have had immunity (What? I thought this El Duce was the “law and order” candidate!).]

Bordiga would fare well in prison/exile, apparently he even built a few houses, which is pretty Chad I guess. He would be released in 1931, on the occasion of his niece marrying a prominent fascist.
Gramsci would not fare well, however, and would effectively die due to the conditions of his imprisonment.
Gramsci was always a sickly man, having been subject to multiple maladies since he was a child, severe enough to (almost certainty) have caused his being below 5 feet tall. The treatment he would receive in would be wholly inadequate, even after Mussolini transferred him to a hospital (right before his death, as cover. The oft quoted description of his physical condition is rather upsetting.

"…his teeth fell out, his digestive system collapsed so that he could not eat solid food [...] he had convulsions when he vomited blood and suffered headaches so violent that he beat his head against the walls of his cell."

I should note also that Gramsci was an absolutely brilliant man. At his sentencing the prosecutor famously stated:

"For twenty years we must stop this brain from functioning."

They failed, because it was under these harsh conditions that Gramsci would write his life’s work, The Prison Notebooks. This collection of essays is one of the most influential works in the body of Marxism. Any sociological discipline with “Critical” in its name is borrowing something from this work. Its most notable idea is that of "Cultural Hegemony", the idea that capitalism reinforces its control not just through physical and economic force, but via ideological and cultural framing. The class must then construct against this its own culture,

[AUTHORS NOTE: Operismo/Autonomism largely rejects this understanding, as it treats the working class as a passive object. In opposition, they advanced that the development of technology and culture happen in response to working class resistance.]

Gramsci would die on 27 April 1937, after serving 11 of his ordered 20 years in prison. He was 46 years old.
…
So that makes two corpses and one fat retired guy. Who the fuck was in charge now?
High ranking member and close friend of Gramsci, Palmiro Togliatti, was in Russia at the time of the 1926 arrests, and therefore assumed leadership of the party. From Moscow he would lead partisan resistance efforts against the fascist regime, and would end up being seen as the individual representing those Left Partisans that would liberate Italy.

[AUTHORS NOTE: Togliatti would in 1930 renounce his Italian citizenship and kick an already powerless, exiled and retired Bordiga out of the party for “Trotskyism”. Being fair to Togliatti, his exile in Moscow coincided with Stalin’s great purge, and I imagine that had much to do with it.]

And so, we come to the whole point of this post: The Salerno Turn
During the fall of Fascism, the King of Italy met at Salerno with representatives of the resistance parties, including Togliatti. Togliatti’s PCI would be allowed into government IF it swore to uphold bourgeois democracy and forever renounced the armed struggle. This would be the “Italian Road to Socialism”, and a great victory for Soviet foreign policy.

[AUTHORS NOTE: You may notice that I said PCI, when the original party’s name was actually PCd'I. No longer was it the Communist Party of Italy, Section of the International. It was now the Italian Communist Party. This reflects that change in the purpose of The International that I mentioned before. The PCI was now ideologically dictated and funded in large part by the Soviet Union. Expect wacky CIA antics to ensue.]

This is how Palmiro Togliatti became one of the founding fathers of Italy, with his Stalinist party being a patriotic political cornerstone of the state. This is how the most radical proletariat in the west had its party turned into a tool of Soviet policy.
Such a state of affairs could not last, but it would not be the “Italian Communist Left” that would destroy this unholy alliance. The bourgeoisie acts as its own gravedigger, and here would be no exception.

Specifically there’s this book, maybe her only book, that spans a lifetime of two sisters who grow up hardscrabble with a grieving and distant father, stuck on a windswept farm above the ocean in maybe upstate Maine. They make their own ways in life and as different as they become their lives still intertwine, and there’s plenty of all the good things like romance, humor, insights, pain, growing old. There’s a memorable scene with a red car, a hapless date, cheap alcohol, and cherry colas making a mess in the back seat, while the grown sister laughs and her niece gets drunk for the first time. The Stephen King quote was very large on the dust jacket and it’s the main reason I picked this (fantastic) book up. Anyone recognize this?

I've always been bound to death.
On my eighth birthday, a shadow strode into my house and shot me and my family dead. I remember it vividly, every detail, every angle, etched and stained and carved into my memory.
I sat very still with my knees to my chest, my gaze glued to my siblings.
Lily and PJ looked like they were sleeping, and I could almost believe it.
I didn't look at the shadow.
From the comfort of my knees, I waited for my brother to lift his head.
But his body was so limp, so still, every part of him faltering. My sister’s head was nestled in his shoulder, thick beads of red running down her face.
They're just sleeping.
I could tell myself they were— as long as I didn't look at the splatter of scarlet staining the back of the couch and pooling at their feet.
BANG.
Mom’s body dropped onto the ground.
I lunged forwards, slamming my hands over my ears.
BANG.
PJ’s head slumped forwards, a teasing smile still frozen on his lips.
BANG.
Lily gently tipped into PJ, like she was going to sleep.
Before she closed her eyes, Mom told me to run.
I can't remember how long I stayed under the shattered remnants of Mom’s favorite table. The shadow was waiting for me to move, to make a noise.
I watched booted feet crunch through glass, getting closer and closer, and slowly, fight or flight began to take over.
Making it halfway across the living room, my palms slick with my mother’s blood, I thought I was going to live.
Cruel fingers wound their way through my hair and shoved me to my knees. I remember the phantom legs of a spider creeping down the back of my neck when the shadow with no face dragged the barrel of his gun down my spine.
“Turn around.”
The shadow had a voice.
When I didn't move, the protruding metal stabbed into my neck.
“Turn around, kid!”
I did, very slowly.
Behind him, my siblings still weren't moving.
They were asleep.
Lily was still smiling, strawberry blonde ringlets stained red.
I couldn't see PJ’S face anymore.
BANG.
I didn't feel the gunshot.
I didn't feel anything.
Looking down, I glimpsed slowly spreading red blossoming like a flower.
It felt like being cut from strings.
I hit the ground, just like my mother, my body felt heavy and wrong.
Paralysed.
I remember being unable to scream, unable to cry, the salty taste of metal filling my mouth. It was like being winded. Rolling onto my side, all I could see was flickering candlelight.
The air was thick, so hard to breathe.
I rolled onto my back trying to suck in air.
The shadow took a step back, opened the front door, and bled into the night.
I don't remember the pain, and I don't remember dying. I couldn't breathe, couldn't conjure words in my mouth.
I felt warm and sticky, lying in my own blood.
I think I tried to move.
But I was so tired.
I’m not sure what death feels like, because it's like going to sleep.
I remember my last shuddering breaths, a lulling darkness beginning to swallow me up. I don't know why I wasn't afraid.
Oblivion almost felt like I was sinking into lukewarm depths on a Summer’s day.
Oblivion wasn't pain, and there was a peaceful inevitability to it.
It was endless nothing, a nothing I found myself gravitating towards. But before I could envelope myself in that darkness, it was spitting me back out.
The next thing I knew, I was in a white room, a slow beeping sound tearing me from slumber. I had a vague memory of slow spreading roses blossoming across my shirt, like summer flowers blooming.
Everything was white.
The walls, the ceiling, and my clothes.
Sensation hit me in slow waves.
Exhaustion.
I felt it tightening its grip around my brain, dragging me back onto a mountain of pillows when I tried to jump up. My Aunt May was sitting next to me on a plastic chair, her warm fingers entangled in mine. Aunt May and Mom were practically twins, with the same thick red hair and pale skin.
Mom wore her hair in a casual ponytail, while May preferred a strict bun.
I had to bite back the urge to yank my hand away.
Aunt May was asleep, used tissues filling her lap.
There was a nurse pottering around, checking my vitals and prodding my arms. My eyes felt heavy. I had to blink several times to keep myself awake.
“Charlie?”
The nurse’s voice was like wind-chimes.
I pretended not to notice her forced lipstick smile, the way she stood with her arms folded, staring at me like I was one of my cousin’s experiments. “You were in an accident, sweetie,” the nurse spoke up. I could see her trembling hands. “Just, um, try and rest, okay?”
I wanted to ask where my family was, but I already knew the answer.
I think she knew that too.
“You died, Charlie.” The nurse’s voice was eerily cold. “You were dead for thirteen minutes.”
She took slow steps towards me, her eyes growing frenzied, like she couldn't understand me, like I was a puzzle she could not solve– and it was driving her crazy. I could see it in her twitching hands, her wobbling lips that were trying and failing to appear stoic.
“In fact, I just pulled you out of the morgue, honey. I opened up your body bag that I had just zipped up, and told your aunt that you were a miracle I just… can’t understand.” The nurse sounded like she was trying to choke down a laugh, or maybe a sob.
“Charlotte, you were pronounced dead at 3:02am from a gunshot wound to the chest.” Taking a slow, sobering breath, the nurse tried to smile. “The bullet went through the right ventricle of your heart and severely damaged your left lung, rendering you unable to breathe. Your heart stopped, and after four attempts to resuscitate, we called it.”
Something slimy wound its way up my throat when she began to pace the room. “I… did all the paperwork. It took me two minutes. Your death certificate was signed, and your body was taken to the morgue to be prepped for transportation. Then I had my lunch. Tuna salad with a protein milkshake. I’m not a fan of the chocolate flavor.”
She shook her head. “Anyway, when I came back to you, you were awake inside your body bag.” Her voice was starting to break. “You were…um, alive, and asked me for apple soda.”
The nurse moved closer, and yet kept her distance.
I could feel myself moving back, panic writhing through me.
“So.” The nurse spoke calmly. “How the fuck are you still alive, Charlie?”
I think I passed out after that.
When I woke up again, my head a lot less heavier, the nurse was gone.
Slowly, my foggy brain began to find itself and connect dots.
My mouth was dry, full of cotton.
There was a sudden tightness, a sharp and cruel sting in my wrists.
Something sharp was protruding into my flesh, and no matter how many times I violently wrenched my arm, it was stuck. It didn't feel right to be able to breathe so easily.
I knew the second I woke that my Mom was dead.
Lily and PJ were dead, and it was like losing them all over again.
As clarity came over me, I found my voice, a strangled cry escaping my lips.
“Get it out.” I whispered in a shrill cry.
Tugging at the IV in my wrist, I tried to yank the needle from my skin.
“Get it out!” I shrieked, my gaze glued to the tiny spots of blood staining the insertion point.
I could see it again.
So much blood.
Mom was curled up on the floor, lying in slow spreading red that wouldn't stop, seeping across her beaded rug.
She was all over me, slick on my skin and caked in my fingernails.
I couldn't wash her off of me.
“You're okay, Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice came from my right, stabling me to reality.
The world started to move again, started to make sense again, when she cupped my cheeks and told me to breathe. When I opened my mouth to ask where my family were, she lightly shook her head and I swallowed my words. Aunt May handed me a glass of water, and I drained it in one gulp.
She told me I was a miracle.
Aunt May didn't say much, and when she did, she broke into sobs.
Her eyes were raw from crying, clinging onto me, her shuddery voice reassuring me that I was going to be okay.
She told me I would be living with her from now on, before wrapping me into a hug and leaving to get coffee.
Once my aunt was gone, another nurse came to prod my IV.
I tried to sleep, but the uncomfortable tightness of the needle sticking into my skin and the sterile white lights in my eyes made it impossible. I waited for grief to catch up with me, drowning me in a hollow oblivion I wouldn't be able to claw myself out of. But I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel angry.
I wanted to know why my family were dead.
I wanted to know why I was breathing, and their skin was ice cold.
Rotting.
The sudden image of maggots crawling up my brother’s nose sent me lurching into a sitting position, my stomach heaving. Reaching for my glass of water, it was empty. The sensation of throwing up felt familiar, almost comforting.
Mom was always with me when I was sick, holding my hair back and lulling my hysteria with reassuring murmurs.
I was frowning at the trash can by the door, my cotton candy brain trying to figure out if I would be able to make it in time, when a small voice drifted from the doorway, startling me.
“I don't want you to come live with us.”
My cousin was peeking through the door, hiding behind a shock of dark brown curls. Jude was the only brunette in our family. The rest of us were redheads.
I wasn't sure why he was dressed up like a ghost, draped in a white cloak that was way too big for him. Jude was a weird kid. His mother, and my auntie, had inherited the family house, so in his mind, that made him superior.
Jude made it clear he didn't like his cousins, refusing to let us play with him and banning us from family gatherings.
When the adults were drinking cocktails and losing their awareness, Jude ordered us around. The times we did play with him, our cousin showed us his spider collection, or the raccoon brain he kept in a jar. PJ was convinced our younger cousin was a serial killer. Several months earlier, he'd happily showed us the roadkill he'd been growing bacteria on under his bed.
Jude’s ‘experiments’ were worrying.
He stuffed mushrooms down my brother’s ears while he was sleeping, to, and I quote, “Recreate The Last Of Us.”
When Lily had a nosebleed during Thanksgiving dinner, Jude collected all her bloody tissues and refused to tell us where he'd put them, and what he had done with them. Fast-forward two months, and I found them under a nest of spiders. Jude was trying to adapt the spiders to be able to feed on human blood. I was surprised my cousin hadn't immediately demanded to see my siblings’ dead bodies for autopsy.
Jude stepped into the room, shuffling his feet.
“I'm sorry about Lily, PJ, and Aunt Ivy.” He mumbled, glaring at the floor tiles.
My cousin made no move to offer real sympathy, instead speaking to the floor.
“But I don't want you to come live with us.” Jude lifted his head, looking me dead in the eye. “I don't like you, Charlie. I want you to stay away.”
Before I could reply, he stepped back like I was diseased.
“You should be dead.” Jude grumbled.
He scowled at me, getting my age purposely wrong as usual before running off.
“Happy 68th birthday.”
I was six months older than him.
In Jude’s eyes, I was ready for retirement.
Still, though, my cousin was right.
I was stone cold dead, and then I was somehow alive.
Which was wrong.
Growing up, I realized Death was not so subtly attempting to fix his mistake.
It started small. I'd choke on things I wasn't supposed to choke on.
Chips.
Candy.
Ice cream.
Aunt May had to perform the heimlich manoeuvre when I choked on a piece of chicken. I thought I was just really unlucky, but then I locked myself in a freezer that didn't have a lock, and almost drowned in the local swimming pool, catching my foot in stray netting.
At the summer fair, Jude convinced me to try apple bobbing, only for my head to conveniently get stuck underwater.
It started to make sense.
I was supposed to die with my family that night, and death was out to get me.
Death started to get clever, changing his tactic. Instead of using everyday things to try to kill me, he sent reinforcements.
I turned twelve years old, and my aunt threw me a huge party, inviting all my classmates. Aunt May was rich, rich.
Mom never explained it, but our grandparents left everything to May.
The house was like a palace, a labyrinth of floors I was yet to explore, and two swimming pools.
I was in the kitchen cutting myself a slice of cake, when, out of nowhere, a dead boy came rushing at me with one of my aunt’s favorite kitchen knives.
A dead boy who I immediately recognised.
Wren Oliver.
Several years prior, he'd gone missing from his parents' yard. The town launched a full investigation, only to find his body in a ditch a week later.
So, Death had sent a footsoldier.
Hiding under a hooded sweatshirt, Wren appeared older, like he had grown up with me. But there was a startling vacancy in his expression that drew the breath from my lungs, freezing me in place. Wren’s death was announced as an accident, though his wounds suggested the opposite, dried blood smearing his right temple and a cavernous hole in his chest, his clothes painted, stained, in bright red, glued in sticky mounds clinging to him.
The boy’s eyes were wild, feral, like an animal.
His hair was longer, a mess of reddish curls matted to his forehead.
Lip split into a demented giggle.
I remember taking a slow step back, my gaze glued to the knife.
Wren’s fingers were wrapped around the handle like he knew exactly how to use it, how to plunge it into my heart and kill me for good. He moved like a predator, zero self awareness or recognition, only driven to kill me.
The dead boy prided himself in slow, intimidating steps, shoving me against the wall and dragging the blade of the knife down the curve of my throat.
His eyes confused me, writhing with hatred that was artificial, programmed into him as Death’s official soldier.
He didn't speak, only smiled, revelling in my fear. I could tell it thrilled him, my trembling hands, my sharp, heavy breaths I couldn't control. Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited to finally die.
I waited for the pain, and to lose my breath once again.
But death was playing with me.
When I opened my eyes, the dead boy was gone, and I was on my knees, screaming.
“Wren Oliver is trying to kill me!" I managed to hiss.
My aunt knelt in front of me, her expression crumpling.
*Sweetie,” She spoke softly, squeezing my hands. Aunt May was trying to appear calm for my sake, but I could tell she was scared, her frantic eyes searching mine. “Wren Oliver is dead.”
The kids surrounding me started to giggle, whispering among themselves.
In the corner of my eye, my cousin was leaning against the door, mid eye roll.
When my aunt was ushering kids back to the pool, Jude came to crouch in front of me. Ever since I started living with him, he'd made sure to keep his distance.
This time, though, Jude leaned uncomfortably close, a sparkle in his eyes I had never seen before. Inclining his head, he rocked back and forth on his heels, prodding me in the forehead.
“If you see the dead boy again, can you tell me?” His lips curved into a smile.
“I did see him.” I gritted out. “I’m not lying.”
Jude shrugged. “I never said you didn't,” he lowered his voice into a whisper, “I wanna know when you see him again.”
“Why?”
His lips curved into a smirk.
“So, I can catch him.”
My cousin got closer, his breath tickling my cheek.
“I seeeeeeee dead people.”
After that incident, death left me alone for a while.
I was fifteen, walking through the forest with a friend, catching fireflies in bell jars. Aunt May was lucky to live so close to the forest, the entrance just outside her back door. When we were littles, PJ would drag Lily and I down the trail to escape Jude’s weird experiments.
I decided to invite Jem Littlewood on a summer walk.
Jem was cute, but in a dorky way. He was chronically clumsy, and dressed like he'd been spat out of a John Hughes movie. We hiked all the way to the end of the river and had a picnic, watching the sun set over the horizon. I was having conflicting feelings for this guy.
Jem was obsessed with fireflies.
Though he seemed more interested in photographing them than me.
The guy couldn't seem to sit still, jumping to his feet to marvel at tiny specks of light dancing in the air.
“I'm just going to take photos!” Jem beamed, holding up his camera.
I had to bite back the urge to say, “Don't you have enough photos?”
I nodded, and he turned and sprinted back down the trail.
Before his footsteps ground to a sudden halt.
At first, I thought he was snapping polaroids.
When I got closer, though, blinking in the eerie dark, I caught something.
Bending down, I picked up a bell jar still spilling fireflies.
Further down the trail, Jem was lying crumpled in the dirt, his camera smashed to pieces next to him, blood running in thick rivulets down his temple. There he was. Leaning against a tree, his arms folded, was the ghost boy. Wren Oliver was growing up with me. Now, a teenager, and yet his face was carved into something else entirely, more of a monster, slight points to his ears and too-sharp teeth, eyes ignited.
Wren didn't look like a ghost boy anymore.
Death had dressed him in shackles of ivy, a crown of glass and bone forced onto his head, entangled in his curls. Death was torturing him.
Wren’s body was its canvas, and every time I got away, he was punished, painting his failures across scarred skin.
I should have been running for my life, but I was mesmerised by each symbol cruelly carved into his neck.
The boy did a slow head incline, like he couldn't believe I was standing in front of him.
His slow spreading smile caught me off guard.
I remembered how to run, stumbling over my feet.
But I couldn't move.
The burning hatred that death had filled him with, was stronger, hollowing him out completely. I managed two shaky steps, before I felt him, an unearthly force winding its way around my spine. This time, he didn't hesitate.
I watched his mouth move, a single curve of his upper lip that wrenched my body from my control, slamming me against a tree. There was something around my throat, choking the breath from my lungs, a thick fog spreading over my eyes.
Following his mouth curving into silent letters, I could feel my feet slowly leaving the ground, my legs dangling.
I was floating.
Hovering off of the ground, suspended by his words.
Through half lidded eyes, I caught the glint of a blade between his fist, but I couldn't move, couldn't scream.
He was drowning me, bleeding into my blood, spider webbing and expanding in my brain without moving a muscle.
Instead, the ghost boy stood silently, running his thumb down the teeth of his knife while he ripped my lungs apart.
It was like suffocating, sinking into that peaceful oblivion I met at eight years old.
This time, though, the darkness was starving.
“Charlie?”
My eyes found daylight, a scream clawing out of my mouth.
“Charlie, it's past curfew!”
Wren flinched, his stoic expression crumpling.
The dead boy’s lips moved again, this time in a curse.
Fuck.
“Charlotte!”
Staggering back, Wren’s eyes widened and the suffocating hold on me severed.
His head snapped in the direction my aunt was coming from.
“Charlie, answer me right now.”
He hesitated, his bare feet pivoting in the dirt, like he was considering finishing me off. Wren studied me with lazy eyes, sucking on his bottom lip. When my aunt's footsteps got louder, branches snapping under her shoes, something contorted in the boy’s face.
Fear.
I guessed the boy wasn't expecting other humans to intrude.
Wren fell over himself, shuffling on his hands and knees, before diving to his feet. When he turned and ran, I was released, slipping to the ground, trying and failing to draw in breath. I barely felt the impact, only a dull thudding pain. I could hear the ghost boy’s footsteps, his uneven, shuddery breaths as he catapulted into a run.
Under a late setting sun, I watched his dancing shadow disappear into the trees.
Mission unsuccessful, I guessed.
When I was fully conscious, Aunt May was checking over Jem, helping him sit up.
“Where did he go?” I managed to get out, scanning the darkness for Wren.
“He's okay, just concussed.” May whispered, dialling 911.
My aunt applied a dressing to Jem’s wound, ignoring the boy’s hisses.
“Keep still.” she murmured, smoothing his bandaid. “What happened, Charlotte?”
“She pushed me over.” Jem groaned, shuffling away from me. When my aunt told him to stay calm, he straightened up, leaning against the tree. “The psycho bitch tried to fucking kill me!”
When my aunt's gaze flicked to me, I shook my head.
“It was Wren Oliver.” I gritted, teetering on hysteria. I could tell she didn't believe me, but I couldn't stop myself.
I prodded at my throat, clawing for the indentations where his phantom fingers snaked around my neck, squeezing the breath from my lungs.
But there was nothing.
I could feel my mind starting to unravel. I nodded to my disgruntled classmate trying to dodge my aunt’s prodding.
“Ow, ow, ow! That stings!
“He knocked Jem out.” I managed. “Then he tried to kill me.”
Jem surprised me with a scoff. “You're seriously blaming your psychotic break on a dead kid?”
Aunt May pursed her lips, motioning for Jem to be quiet. Judging from her face, however, she agreed with the boy.
May forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. “Okay. Can you, uh, describe the boy to me, Charlotte?”
“He was wearing a crown,” I said, “And he looked my age.”
Aunt May cocked her head, and I saw real worry, like she was trying not to freak out. Jem made a snorting noise.
“I'm sorry, he was wearing a crown?”
“Yes!” I insisted, getting progressively more frustrated.
I tried to jump up, only for my aunt to gently lower me back down. “I know it sounds crazy, but death has sent Wren Oliver to kill me, just like my family. He tried to kill me when I was twelve, too!”
Jem let out a bitter laugh. “Your niece is a fucking wackadoodle.”
Aunt May’s eyes darkened. She grabbed my shoulders, her nails stabbing into my skin. “Charlie, I want you to listen to me, okay?” When my eyes found the rapidly darkening sky, my aunt forced me to look at her.
“Charlotte!”
She was as scared as me, her voice shuddering.
“Wren Oliver is dead.” My aunt said firmly, shaking me. Even then, though, I wasn't even looking at her. I was trying to find his ignited eyes lighting up the dark. “Wren died at eight years old in a terrible accident, and you can't keep using him as an excuse for your mental trauma.” There was something twitching in her expression I was trying to make sense of. When I risked a look at Jem, the boy was staring at me dazedly– like I really was crazy.
Aunt May pressed her face into my shoulder, and I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt. She was trying to hold it together, trying to understand.
“Charlie, I know you lost your family,” she whispered. “But you and Wren Oliver are not the same. You survived, and he didn't.” Her voice splintered.
“You need to come to terms with that, okay?”
When I didn't respond, she pinched my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice turned cold. “I ignored this when you were a kid, but if you continue to use this poor boy as a coping mechanism, I will have no choice but to send you to a specialist.”
When Jem was taken away by paramedics, Aunt May held my hand, squeezing my fingers for dear life.
I caught her gaze scanning the tree's around us, delving into twisting oblivion. Every little noise sent her twisting around. She was looking for something.
“I'm going to get you help.” Aunt May said in a low murmur when we were back at the house. Jude was sitting on the kitchen counter, legs swinging. I could feel his penetrating gaze burning into the back of my head.
Aunt May set a cup of cocoa on the table.
“No more fairytales.”
By the time I was eighteen, I had bitten three therapists.
They refused to believe that death was coming to reclaim my soul, and was using a dead boy to do his dirty work.
For my 16th birthday, I braced myself to come face to face with Wren Oliver’s ghost.
I wasn't even in town, staying at a friend's house.
But dead boys, and especially dead boys moulded into Death’s personal soldiers, could materialise anywhere.
I locked every door in the house, and taped up my friend’s window.
Nothing happened.
On my seventeenth birthday, I was sick in bed with gastritis.
Still no ghost boy.
Death seemed to have finally left me alone.
On my eighteenth birthday, I was stuffing books in my locker when my cousin popped up out of nowhere, scowling as usual. After an unexpected growth spurt and losing a tonne of baby fat, my cousin had scaled the high school hierarchy, swapping his weird experiments for a varsity jacket and experimenting with his sexuality.
The two of us had come to an unspoken truce.
I kept quiet about his spider collection to his popular friends, and he tolerated my existence until I left for college.
“Your surprise party is cancelled.”
Jude leaned against my locker, running a hand through thick dark hair tucked under a baseball cap. Jude never admitted it, but he was definitely embarrassed of being the odd one out.
My siblings may be dead, but they were still redheads.
I pulled off his cap with a smile, throwing it in his face. “Sure it is.”
My cousin’s eyes widened. He lost his slick bravado, grabbing for his cap.
“Hey!”
According to my cousin, my party was unexpectedly cancelled every year.
I wasn't sure if it was his weird superiority complex, or just plain jealousy, but it was getting exhausting.
Jude followed me down the hallway, matching my stride.
“Can you just not come home tonight?”
I quickened my pace. “It's only a party. I'm having some friends over, and no, we won't go anywhere near your room.”
“No, I mean.” Jude stepped in front of me, and for the first time in a while, he wasn't trying to hide disdain for me.
His dark eyes pinned me in place for a moment, the world around us coming to a halt. Sound bled away, and all I heard were his slow breaths. There was something there, an unexplainable twitch in his eyes and lips, that twisted my gut.
Jude stepped closer, his lip curling. He shoved me back, losing his facade.
“Stay the fuck away from the house tonight.” He said, and his voice, his tone, was enough to send shivers creeping down my spine. Jude had always hid behind a ten foot wall in his mind. It was jarring to see something in him finally start to splinter. Fuck. I thought.
This kid had serious Mommy issues.
I blinked, and the world resumed, kids pushing past us.
Jude seemed to catch himself, slipping back under his mask.
“I'm having friends over,” he rolled his eyes, “Your presence will ruin the vibe.”
“It's my birthday?”
He groaned, tipping his head back. “Yes, I know. But–”
“I think you can deal with the attention off of you for one night, Jude.”
“Will Wren Oliver be there too?” Jem Littlewood hollered.
Jude didn't respond for a moment, his lip curling.
“Shut the fuck up.” He spat at Jem, who immediately backed down. With an audience this time, Jude forced an award winning smile. “Fine.” His lips split into a grin I knew he hated. My cousin clamped his hand on my shoulder, hard enough to hurt. I could feel his fingers pinching the material of my jacket. “Have it your way, dude.”
Jude backed away with a two fingered salute.
“Happy 78th birthday!”
In a sense, I wish I listened to my cousin.
My party was a success, sort of.
Four of us, a crate of beers, and no sign of my cousin.
I was mildly tipsy, sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling my legs in the water when my friend demanded more beers.
I was also hungry for cake, so I stumbled inside in search of the goods.
The house was dark, lit up in dazzling blue from the pool's lights reflecting through the windows. Aunt May was in her office on the ground floor, and Jude was getting high in his room. In my drunken state, I found myself marvelling my aunt's house, and how much of it was left unexplored.
For example, in the foyer, past the spiral staircase she’d had custom made, was an elevator I had never questioned.
There was a girl my age standing on the staircase.
She was frozen, mid run, dressed in ragged jeans and t-shirt.
Everything about her stuck out to me, bringing me to a sobering halt.
The girl reminded me of my sister– or at least, if my sister had ever grown up.
I wasn't sure if I was drunk or hallucinating.
Her flower crown was pretty…
Lily had grown wings.
I was slowly moving towards her, a sudden bang sounding from the kitchen.
The bang of something shattering on the floor.
Twisting around, I found myself gravitating towards warm golden light.
The first thing I saw was the refrigerator door hanging open, and someone, no, something, rooting around inside it.
Glued to the spot, I dazedly watched them grab milk, guzzling it down, and then soda, cracking open each can and sucking them dry, before carving their fingers into my birthday cake.
But I wasn't looking at the spillage of food seeping across the floor. Instead, my gaze found a crown of antlers, both human and animal bone entangled with dead flowers and human remains glued to a head of familiar matted brown curls. There was something sticking from battered and bruised flesh, twin gaping slits sliced through a torn shirt resembling glass wings that were not yet formed, reminding me of a butterfly.
Wings.
But not the wings I dreamed of as a kid. These things were unnatural mounds that both did and didn't make sense on a human boy. I could see the trauma of them slicing through his flesh, monstrous, looming things protruding from what was left of a human spine.
Human, and yet I couldn't call his beautifully grotesque face human.
Wren Oliver had grown up with me, now an adult.
Eighteen years old.
His clothes confused me, a single white shirt and shorts.
Wren’s feet were bare, battered and bruised, blood smearing my aunt's tiles.
Angel.
Death had turned his footsoldier, and my future killer, into an angel.
But there was nothing angelic about the dead boy, his body and mind sculpted and moulded into Death’s own.
The boy no longer resembled a human, feral eyes and a manic smile, choking down pieces of cake. His face had been contorted into a monster, gnashing teeth and sharp points in his ears, a sickly tinge to malnourished skin.
And that's when it hit me, watching him stuff himself with food.
Something slimy inched its way up my throat.
The boy didn't move. I don't even think he'd noticed me, gorging himself on anything he could get his hands on.
Chicken, raw bacon, leftover salad.
When he moved onto cupcakes, licking frosting from his fingers, I glimpsed markings on his arms, a language I didn't understand, carved into him.
His wrists were shackled, bound, in entangled iron and vine, iron that was ingrained into his skin, vines and flowers and ivy entangling his bones, that were part of him, polluting his blood. Slowly, my eyes found stab wounds splitting open his torso.
Raw flesh, where his skin had been torched, melting, and then merging, ripped apart and put back together over and over again.
I found his heart, the gaping cavern in his chest where it should be.
And it was.
Marked, carved, and branded with a symbol resembling an X.
Wren Oliver was not dead.
But, just like me, he should have been.
I remember saying his name, my voice slurred slightly.
I didn't drink that much, but I could barely coerce words, my head spinning.
Wren’s neck snapped towards me, his eyes narrowing with resentment I couldn't understand, hatred that seemed to puppeteer him. Slowly tilting his head, the boy’s lips split into a grin, eyes filled, polluted, with mania.
I could see where his lips had been stitched shut, and then ripped open.
“Hi.”
He held up his hand in an awkward wave.
When one of my friends stumbled into the kitchen, Wren reacted on impulse.
He picked up a knife from the counter, throwing it like a dart, straight through the guy’s throat.
Something shattered inside my mind.
Ignoring my friend bleeding out, Wren stumbled over himself, abandoning his feast. He took a single step towards me, backing me against the wall, coming so close, close enough for me to feel his very real breath grazing my cheeks. Just like when he was a kid, he traced the teeth of his blade down my throat. I wasn't expecting him to burst out laughing, trembling with hysteria.
His eyes were wild, feral and wrong, almost euphoric.
With what all I could only recognise as relief.
BANG.
I was barely aware of the gunshot.
The bullet went straight through his head, the winged boy hitting the ground.
Dead.
I saw the blood stemming around him in a halo before the bleeding pool faltered, seeping back inside his head.
Like rewinding a VCR.
Wren was dead, and then he was alive.
Wren’s body contorted, his chest inflating.
His gasp for air was painful, strangled, eyes opening wide.
Terrified.
“You fucking idiot.”
Jude’s voice sent me twisting around.
My cousin stood in the exact same robes he wore as a child.
The world tipped off kilter, and I was on my knees, then my stomach.
I sunk to the floor, my thoughts swimming.
Jude’s murmur followed me, creeping into the dark.
“I told you not to come home.”
I can't remember how long I was unconscious for.
When I woke, I was dressed in an evening gown, a dress that used to be my mother’s.
My vision cleared, and I found myself sitting in an unfamiliar room resembling an abandoned swimming hall.
The pool itself was empty, the bottom stained revealing scarlet.
There were symbols carved into each tile.
Like a game.
“Sit up straight, Charlotte.”
I was sitting at a banquet.
Jude was in front of me, sipping on wine.
He caught my eye for half a second before averting his gaze.
At the far end of the table sat my aunt May.
Kissing the rim of her glass, her smile was twisted.
“I've been waiting so long to give you your birthday presents, Charlotte. Your memories should be returning soon.”
“Mom.” Jude muttered, hiding behind his glass. “Calm down. You're embarrassing yourself.”
Ignoring my cousin, May tapped her glass with a fork, and in walked my birthday presents.
No, dragged.
By their hair.
Wren Oliver, the dead boy, was in fact my aunt's prisoner.
Behind him, was the girl who looked so much like Lily.
I think that's why my aunt chose her.
Aunt May cleared her throat.
“For a long time, our family has lived among creatures who live in the forest you played inside. In exchange for keeping this town safe, they only ask for small favors. Wayward children who disappear into the woods are good enough payment. Charlie, you and your siblings do not share our inheritance. Your mother never wanted fae children. She wanted you to be human.”
Aunt May’s smile faded.
“After losing my sister, and my niece and nephew, I made a deal to give my last surviving niece 100 years of life.”
Her words were white noise, my gaze glued to my birthday presents. I couldn't call them human anymore.
I couldn't call Wren human, when his face was so beautifully grotesque, painfully hypnotising.
The monstrous things sticking from twin slits in his back were supposed to be wings, except they looked wrong, cruelly protruding from his exposed spine. Under the influence of alcohol earlier, the girl made me smile.
Her wings, to me, looked like one of a real fairy.
In reality, they were torn and shredded apart, bigger than the girl herself.
When she dropped onto her stomach, she was dragged back to her feet, her knees buckling under the weight. Her tiara of flowers and bone looked pretty to me when I saw her on the stairs.
Now, though, I could see the pearly white of a human child's skull forced onto her head, dead flowers threaded through cavernous, gaping eye sockets.
The two of them were violently shoved into the empty pool.
“Jude. Please demonstrate, sweetheart.”
Jude stood, pulling out a gun, and aiming it at the winged girl.
BANG.
The girl’s body hit the tiles, her blood seeping across stained white.
“Now, of course, our king did not give you life for free.” May continued.
“The King demanded a debt, as well as two heirs to join him in his court once your hundred years were complete.”
Her lips quirked into a smile.
“The king is smart. If a child cannot be stolen from the human world, they can, however, be made, moulded and shaped from their human forms, skinned of their humanity through their suffering, leaving a hollowed out shell in the child's place.” She was speaking so casually, ignoring Wren’s whimpers.
“The conversion takes a while. 100 years to birth a fully blooded fae heir, who will lose their human memories, in preparation to join their new family.”
Jude shot Wren in the chest, his eyes empty.
This time, he dropped his weapon, using finger-guns instead.
“Bang.” He deadpanned.
Then the neck.
I watched Wren come back to life, and then die.
Over and over again.
I think at one point, he screamed and cried.
But not now.
He was their puppet on display, dancing for their entertainment.
Half lidded eyes drowned in oblivion found mine, and I understood his hatred.
Before he was shot again.
Stabbed.
Branded and burned, and ripped apart.
At some point, I screamed at them to stop. I couldn't breathe, slamming my hands over my ears and begging them.
Aunt May didn't listen, ordering for my hands to be tied down.
“The King required two human sacrifices to suffer in your place.” She concluded. “For one hundred years.”
Aunt May’s smile was suddenly sad, and she lifted her glass in a toast.
I was watching their blood trickle down each tile in the pool, like every death, every time they suffered, my body became progressively less human.
I felt disgusting. I wasn't supposed to be alive. Every single year of my life, every breath I had taken, was stolen.
Aunt May nodded at me, her lips forming a proud smile. She stood up, and was handed a sacrificial knife.
Climbing into the swimming pool herself, she strode over to Wren.
The boy slumped to the floor, trembling, his knees against his chest.
Aunt May grabbed him by the hair, forcing his head up, and sliced the blade across his throat.
His eyes flicked to me, and I swore he smiled.
Spots of red dotted yellowing tiles, a river trickling under my aunt's heels.
“Happy 78th birthday, Charlotte.”
Last night ended with me being locked in my room.
It's been almost 15 hours, and the door is still locked. Please help me. I'm fucking terrified of what my aunt is planning.
I can't stop shgajing. FycjbfucibFUCK
If she is telling the truth, I shouldn't be here, right??
And I can't stop thinking.
Is Wren Oliver trying to kill me, or himself?

This is kind of long, I'm (m38) my mother (f65) had always been close, until I met my gf(f41). Three years ago, My gf and I were redoing our dock home on the water in florida. My mother, when I was younger, always talked about doing RE together. The first time my mother and gf FaceTimed (mom lives on the west coast) my mother insulted her, by saying, she was using me for free construction work ( my gf had hired plenty of contractors to do the work ) I was doing the easy stuff, painting, dry wall repair, demo the kitchen, etc. And my gf and I were really enjoying the work together. We were young into the relationship, and we were finding out if we were compatible... it wasn't work to us, it was fun. We ended up selling the house together, we did VERY well, we ended up buying a house in the beaches area of Jacksonville where she wanted to go, we currently reside here. My mother, a nurse, over the last 20 years, has always had a friend who has cancer, the first was a close friend from Florida- but as her cancer got worse, my mother was closer and closer to her. When she died, the cringiest experience of my life, was the next day my mother asked me to go to the bank with her, she walked into the bank, and gave an account number to the bank manager, apparently the friend said she would have access to a checking account. I remember the bank manager telling my mother, she was not on the account and she had no access to it. I remember my mother was pleading to the guy- she's my best friend, she told me to come to the bank, etc.... that's the first time I looked at my mother differently. The lady died less than 24 hours ago. Fast forward my gf and I moved to Jacksonville ( a lot of hospitals ) my mother has another friend with cancer, and starts flying across country to be with her, now "bf" and she takes her to Jacksonville, my gf and I didn't find out she was driving up to Jacksonville a few times a year until she had done so for probably already a year or so. The hospital is less than 5 miles from our house. One time my mother is in the town my family lives visiting and decided she was going to come up and visit us, july 4th weekend. My gf who is very organized texts my mother and gives her a detailed plan of what we are going to do, which included riding our golf cart to the beach, grilling out at her parents house, having some drinks, watching fireworks, she invited my mother to stay in our guest room. My mother responded back, "I will handle plans with my son, thank you" my gf didn't respond. My gfs sister, BiL, niece, friends, and my gfs mother go to the beach, her mother specifically went to the beach to meet my mother, my gf father went to the store to buy to hotdogs and hamburgers in anticipation my mother was coming to town. My mother was driving up to Jax, I take my gf and the beach chairs to the beach.... that's about the time my mother pulls up to the house... I get a phone call, my mother is irate, and says she is leaving since no one was at the house when she arrived. And she leaves this little card, something to do with a mother and son's relationship on our door sill. I get back to the house my mother is pissing vinegar. I tell my mother, that I took my gf to the beach, and her family is there. My mother fires back, I should've been there waiting she flew across the country to come to an empty house ( not the case ). I told my mother, that her family, is at the beach waiting to meet her, her father is at the store buying skyline chili for her ( we are originally from Cincinnati ) and she needs to realize all these people are doing things for her arrival. She stopped talking, you could tell she felt like an ass. She immediately tells me she doesn't have a swimsuit - she knew we were going to the beach, she was in an outfit you should never wear to the beach. We get to the beach, she has this attitude and although my gfs mother is being friendly, she has these snarky one word answers. We go to the house for the cook out my mother starts talking about the money we had when my parents were still married..my gfs family wasn't having any of this, you could cut the tension with a knife... after we eat, my mother makes a statement that now she needs to leave to get back to Daytona immediately. She leaves, and then it turned into a great day. Fast forward to the beginning of this year, my mother and I hardly talk. She has gone off on my gf a few times, at this point my gf doesn't hold back, and refuses to talk to her, especially after my mother made a comment about her weight. In the beginning of the year, I told my mother I would paint the house she bought 90 miles away from Jacksonville, since I owed her some money, the walls turned into the ceiling, the ceiling turned into ceiling fan installation, that turned into refinishing floors, that turned into moving some walls. What started as a week worth of work, turned into about 2 months, I may have been in jax 3 nights in 2 months. My gf and I had a family party and my gf said, if I didn't come up, it would be a problem as at this point her family was starting to ask why I wasn't around... I went to the party, I told my mother, I was going- that's when an emergency came up at the house and I needed to be there, I obliged. Two weeks later, things were okay between my mom and I, and one night we were talking, and she venmos me 2k for the work, while we were on the phone. It was a pleasant surprise until I told h er we had a wedding this coming weekend, it was non- negotiable I was to be there. I told my mother, I was going to be gone that entire weekend. She insisted that she gave me money and to quote, if I'm going to take that money and be footloose and fancy free on her dime, give me the money back- I immediately venmoed her money back and said Do not think I'll be at you house, I will not be there until Monday, I am leaving Friday, wedding on Saturday night. That saturday, My mother texts me and says, I need help, furniture is be delivered on Sunday at 8am. I went to the wedding, didn't drink, had fun, went home at midnight, left my house at 6am only to get to mom's house to find out furniture got delayed won't be delivered until 4pm later today. My mother decided that she was going to show up that following week, since the contractor I found, she could work with directly while working her job remotely. Now my debt was paid, I found this contractor, who my mother loved, she hasn't paid me, requested the money she gave me I give back since I went to a wedding with my gf. My mother tells me that the contractor I found, is willing to pay me to help her do work- I'm furious, so my mother is paying a lady, who is going to make money off me for working for her. Sidebar, I found this contractor who had done work for other clients of mine and her work is good, but she doesn't know her capabilities, but oh well, mom is running the show. I tell my mother absolutely not, will the contractor I found, she hired, pay me an hourly rate, that my mother is paying, that she is going to make money off of. My mother claimed, that my money was going to be made, when I sold the house and I would get the listing- I have my real estate license. I'm about done with my mother and her non sense at this point and I'm seeing right through it. As my mother was staying in the house, I didn't want her to be alone, so I would stay with her at night. Both my mother and I are big drinkers, and my sister is in recovery ( who lives with my father and doesnt come around at night because she knows wed be drinking ), so while i have beer in the fridge, my mother is staunchly not drinking and making a big deal about how she doesn't drink, and all I want to do is drink... at this point I'm letting it pile on. Until the straw that broke the camels back, one morning back in March- its around 7am, I drank 12 beers the night before, I'm awake, laying in my bed watching YouTube videos...as I just woke up, my mother knocks on my door and says we need to have a discussion. We go outside and she says do I think it's fair that she is outside doing yard work while I am laying in bed watching TV. I said, yes, it's 7am and there is no reason she should be doing yard work, unless she is looking to fight. She fires back and says, you are living in my house and haven't done a fucking thing.... I stood up and said I AM DONE, I will never step foot in this house, she gets up an walks away, and I yell go call whoever the fuck you need to call and tell them what a piece of shit I am- i have literally walked in on her talking to my aunt saying I shitty person, and wonders why I wont go around her family ( my aunts and uncles ). I go in to the house get my air mattress and what little clothes I had there and left. Now, there was a remote to one of her fans in my car, I grabbed it and put it on the tool bench in th garage, and it fell as I'm walking out...she says- did you really throw that into the garage. I said no, which that's not my personality anyways I wouldn't do that. She says this dramatic "best of luck to you" and I get in the car and leave. I sent her a card for mother's day, but I haven't spoke to her since, and I don't plan too. She fired the contractor, of course is blaming me for the fact that she is completely underwater in this house. And now when she talks to my sister she says I'm out of her will and I am a terrible person, etc.... AITA For wanting nothing to do with her, and happy with her not in my life?

WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY ABOUT "PRIDE MONTH"
(In 1999 President Clinton declared June as "Gay and Lesbian Pride Month." In 2021 President Biden changed it to "LGBTQ Pride Month.")
From the "LAWS OF GOD AND THE CREATION, Also called "THE LAWS OF BALANCE."

1. YOU MUST OBEY THE WISDOM OF GOD FOR THE RESPONSIBLE AND BALANCED PROCREATION OF YOUR SPECIES.

We have written about the Commitment of Marriage by A MAN and A WOMAN To God as being one of the necessary components to also becoming a PARENT for God which means pro-creating your species. (SEE Law #8 "You Must Not Commit Adultery.").
Now the DIVINE and SACRED "act' which was created by GOD for the procreation of the species you ones call "sexual union". God created YHIS DIVINE UNION to be performed between ONE man and ONE woman specifically for maintaining the balanced level of the species for each given planetary system. Now the "fallen" ones or adversaries of GODNESS have completely perverted and maligned this once "sacred" and "divine" act that at one time was DONE with complete LOVE and DEVOTION to THE FATHER within each partner, so that it (sex) is now called "a birthright" to be done often, with impunity and with MANY partners of either sex and without consideration of LOVE or responsible pro-creation. How we and THE FATHER weep for you! this ONE abuse of God's creation has nearly destroyed your species! Let us quote once again from, "AND THEY CALLED HIS NAME IMMANUEL: I AM SANANDA" - Pg. 55:
"The act of marriage and procreation must have the highest degree of pure intent and preparation, for upon these bonds and restrictions will rest the preservation of mankind upon the planet. If everything is done and adhered to, justice and peace will come to all mankind, and life in the human form can be preserved.
"If man continues his selfish and imprudent behavior, he will sound his own death tariff. There reaches a point beyond which a planet cannot support the unbalanced system perpetrated by mankind. And yet, so shall it come to pass (Read this carefully!) that man will not listen and Bring destruction upon his own species. It will come about in some two millennium that man will have reached the point of self destruction. (.This is 1991 friends, have you fulfilled this prophecy of Jesus the Christ IImmanuel and OTHER prophets before him?!?). And so it is projected by the prophets and shall it come to pass in its time of fulfillment and in my time of fulfillment." End of quote.
Let's begin with God's directive about marriage and Pro-creation between A MAN and A WOMAN. It is very clear that this DOES NOT say, marriage and "the sexual act" is OK between a man and s man, or a woman and a woman, or TWO men and ONE woman or THREE women and ONE man, or etc. Again, the laws of balance are LOGICAL, meaning they were created specifically to maintain BALANCE within The Creation.
Because of the various degrees of deliberate, systematic and malevolently lewd and lascivious sexual behaviors, which are the corruption of the DIVINE UNION, and which have been and are practiced by most on your plane, the warning given above by our beloved Jesus Immanuel is transpiring before your very eyes in this time frame!
The sexual "act".was specifically designed to be performed by ONE man and ONE woman who had committed THEIR DIVINE LOVE AS ONE in the union of marriage, ordained by GOD. Through this union OF LOVE, the act of sexual intercourse between a husband and his wife for pro-creation was a most sacred and honored responsibility, an extension of the LOVE and COMMITMENT TO GOD in his service as PARENTS of HIS Children.
Now remwember the law of "Cause and Effect". The EFFECTS of breaking this one directive of God are all about you today. Over-Population and the spread of fatal venereal and blood-borne diseases, such as Syphilis and AIDS, are proving to be YOUR self-punishment to the point of creating the nearly complete destruction of your human species on Earth.
So let there be NO misunderstanding. The following BEHAVIORS are specifically and undeniably AGAINST OR CONTRARY TO THE LAWS OF GOD AND THE CREATION:

1. Any Homosexual sexual activity between two or more men is strictly forbidden.
   
2. Any Homosexual sexual activity between two or more women is strictly forbidden.
   
3. Any BI-Sexual sexual activity between two or more men and women is strictly forbidden.
   

KEEP IN MIND WE ARE SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO "SEXUAL" ACTIVITIES, NOT LOVE, INTIMACY (Sharing soul-deep closeness and specialness of the friendship), COHABITATION (Sharing living quarters/home together), AND FRIENDSHIP between members of the same sex. Meaning that it is the LEWD, LUSTFUL AND IRRESPONSIBLE "SEXUAL ACT' THAT IS SPECIFICASLLY AND STRICTLY AGAINST GOD and LIFE!

1. Any Anal 9Sodomy) sexual intercourse performed between asny persons, male or females, is strictly forbidden.
   
2. Any sexual activity perfbrmed with ANIMALS (Bestiality) by any human is strictly forbidden.
   
3. Any sexual activity performed by ones closely related within the same family line (Incest). For example; brother and sister, father and daughter, uncle and niece, aunt and nephew, cousin and cousin, mother and son, Grandfather and Granddaughter is strictly forbidden.
   
4. Any sexual activity performed (male and female) adult upon or with any child is strictly forbidden.
   
5. Prostitution--the act of offering oneself, man or woman, to another for sexual relations in exchange FOR PAYMENT of same--is strictly forbidden.
   
6. Any Sadistic or Masochistic sexual practices performed by anyone or ones upon self or others is strictly forbidden. Sadistic: "1. A tendency to take delight in bering cruel". Masochizstic: "1. A condition in which sexual gratification depends largely on undergoing physical pain or humiliation. 2. A tendency to derive pleasure from one's mown suffering."
   
7. Any voyeuristic (one who is sexually gratified by looking at sexual (objects or acts) activity or any participation in pornographic (sexually explicit or obscene) materials, ie. movies, magazines, books, "artwork" and objects is strictly forbidden.
   

Please understand that it is this preoccupation with behavior of lustful and lascivious physical pleasure that YOU must each choose to avoid and rise above spiritually. The corruption and preoccupation with sexual thoughts, words and actions has become hypnotizingly OBSESSIVE and also terribly degrading to THE SPIRIT OF LIFE OF THE ONE! THIS IS NOT LOVE BY ANY DEFINITION. Can you not see this TRUTH before you and within you? Your sexual obsession MUST STOP if you are to reach beyond your mortal body into THE KINGDOM OF GOD!
Many of you, by now, are probably wondering about the act of masturbation: "Stimulation of sexual organs by oneself." First, Re-read the above paragraph. Masturbation is a self-pleasure sexual act upon SELF AND it is also what most of you couples are doing when you have "sex" together and call it "making love." The only difference is that it is the "sharing" of MUTUAL Masturbation with your partner. Mutual Masturbstion is NOT DIVINE SEXUAL UNION FOR CELEBRATING PROCREATION. When one is an "adult" and does not wish to have children, the seeking of sexual pleasure by self or with another is a transgression upon self simply BECAUSE YOU ARE DENYING AND LIMITING YOUR SPIRITUAL CREATIVE POTENTIAL WITHIN.
The sexual desire in this time on your place of extreme sexual preoccupation, begins for many youngsters at puberty. Many will have sexual release or dreams while they sleep. With the CAREFUL and loving guidance of the parents well before and during this time, the child will not be frightened of the changes in his/her body and will most likely occasionally indulge in masturbation for either curious explorstion or release of the physical body. Moderate or occasional masturbation done in privacy by any, either child or adult, is not harmful to THE SPIRIT OF GOD WITHIN. Remember this parents, it can also become very harmful to a child if through his "training", he is taught to fear or despise his genitalia, or be made to feel guilt for self-sexual exploration or masturbation. He must learn about his personal responsibility and must understand ALL THE LAWS OF GOD including those governing procreation. But if you make the child feel fearful, shameful or guilty about his own personal sexual exploration, you may actually be creating for him OBSESSIVE PRE-OCCUPATION with sexuality. If the child is not exposed to constant "sexually stimulating" media, he will quickly loose interest after initial self-exploration IF HIS CREATIVE potential is encouraged, nurtured, and supported by HIS PARENTS and TEACHERS. The more spiritually aware children and adults will either not have much interest in, or gradually lose interest in sexual exploration of any kind. It is much healthier for the spirit if this process of becoming detached from sexual feelings is natural and BY choice because of spiritual UNDERSTANDING and awareness.
What you ones have labeled "sexual energy" or "libido" is actually a corruption of the creative and nurturing potential of the Spirit of GOD within YOU. LET US REPEAT THIS: YOUR "SEXUAL ENERGY/LIBIDO" IS ACTUALLY A CORRUPTION OF THE CREATIVE AND NURTURING POTENTIAL OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD WITHIN YOU! Let us see how your Funk and Wagnals Dictionary defines "libido." "1. Sexual desire or impulse. 2.The instinctual craving or drive behind all human activities." Did you read that clearly, friends? INSTINCTUAL CRAVING OR DRIVE BEHIND ALLK HUMAN ACTIVITIES! The catch is, precious ones, SEX is not the INSTINCTUAL craving or drive that was created by GOD, THIS was your CREATIVE, nurturing drive TO KNOW and CELEBRATE GOD WITHIN YOU, TO CO-CREATE THE EVER-UNFOLDING EXPANSION AND ADVENTURE OF LIFE! The truly loving DIVINE UNIOIN, that of male/female experiencing their creative potential through the sexual act of PROCREATION, was created to be a UNION OF DIVINE LOVING DEVOTION and CELEBRATION OF THE GIFTS OF ONENESSW SHARED...AND OF NEW LIFE CREATED FROM GOD. Rarely do ones feel TRUE LOVE, caring friendship, affection and intimacy toward their mates on your plane. Most have simply forgotten what LOVE is. You think perhaps you and your mate are one of the "rare" exceptions? Here is a test for you. How long would your marriage and commitment last if today you completely STOPPED all sexual activity with one another? Think about this carefully. Do you give of yourself to your mate sexually and otherwise because you wish to please them? To please both of you? To please yourself? You ones think your sexual orgasm is ecstasy? YOU EVEN LIMIT ECSTASY!
You see, you are not your desires, you are not your emotions. YOU are THE SPIRIT of LIFE of GOD, and your spirit IS the MASTER over your dssires and emotions. Don't you see that you have simply chosen, in your illusion of ignorance and confusion, TO MAKE your emotions and desires the MASTER over your SPIRIT...YOUR GODNESS?!?
This corruption of your creative potential WAS CREATED, CONDITIONED AND MOLDED BY YHR ANTI-CHRIST. YOU IMPLY BOUGHT THE LIE AS TRUTH AND HAVE BECOME ADDICTED TO YOUR DESIRE FOR "SEX." You don't believe your "sexual" desire is created? Look around you today. Your Advertising Media as well as your Magazines, Television and Movies ARE CREATING YOUR DESIRES FOR YOU by conditioning and molding you through false "IMAGES" of what is beauty, what is "sex appeal"--in other words, by directing your attention constantly to "how" you look physically, your athletic prowess, your sex appeal and attractiveness. Why does and has this "desire"-creating worked? Because the Anti-Christ first molds the "false images" and then plays uponn your FEAR of being too unattractive, unworthy, unpopular and simply rejected by OTHERS who YOU allow TO JUDGE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING! The ANTI-Christ keeps you BOUND by the "false" promises created by your desire TO BE WORTHY of LIFE so you are too busy trying to fit the "false" mold and therefore do not develop your creative spiritual potential within! How dare YOU feel UNWORTHY because of believing the nonsense of the false "IMAGES"! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS TRUTH! YOU ARE GOD'S TEMPLE!
Advertisers are always selling "their image" of what you ones call "romance" and you are encouraged to think it means passionate "sexual" fulfillment. Your dictionary describes "romance" as: 1. A love affair. 2. A kind of love between the sexes, characterized by high ideals of devotion, and strong ardor. 3. Adventurous, heroic, or exotic nature: romance of far away places." When you crave romance, whether you know it or not, it does not mean "sexual" affair, dear ones, it means LOVE AFFAIR, you are craving to experience within you GOD'S LOVE OF LIFE, you crave to feel "ALIVE", ie.warm and intense feelings, eagerness and zeal. WHY? Because you are bored and spiritually unfulfilled with the self-created "limits" of your life. (Limits which the "controlled" media has set you up for in the first place.).You are out of balance and you are seeking to ignite your CREATIVE POTENTIAL WITHIN. ROMANCE is the promise of ADVENTURE and JOY for experiencing THE SPIRIT OF LIFE, OF GOD, within you. You see, ROMANCE is not sexual adventure or a place to go; it is your desire to feel and KNOW GOD within you. You can experience romance through the sharing of devoted and adventurous LOVE of LIFE with your mate. Regardless of what your media "hype" tells you, remember this, your desire for romance is your desire for CHANGE from a limited and spiritually unfulfilling existence, to recognizing and EXPERIENCING your UNLIMITED Creative Spiritual Potential within.
The next time you have a "sexual" urge, look around you, what have you been watching, reading or participating in which created this desire? Men, when you see a physically "beautiful" woman, is your FIRST thought admiration and appreciation of this GIFT of loveliness and do you wonder about the loveliness and beauty of HER SPIRIT? OR, instead, do you first wonder about the pleasure you would receive if you could have "sexual union" with her? And the same holds for you women who call yourselves "liberated" which usually means, "sexually" liberated and same equal "rights" as men to have many "casual" sexual encounters.
Recxognize that this "sexual urge" is really UNFULFILLED creative potential screaming to be released from the self-imposed "limit" or boundary of THE physical sexual ACT. Act: 1. To play a part of; impersonate. 2. To serve temporarily or as a substitute. To PRETEND." The sexual act is limiting, substituting and imperonating YOUR CREATIVE AND SPIRITUAL UNFOLDMENT TO KNOW GOD. When you truly understand and recognize this truth, your creative spiritual unfoldment can no longer BE FRUSTRATED AND LIMITED to the repetition of a silly and truly unfulfilling "sexual act."
Does this mean you are expected, by self and GOD, to STOP all sexual activity NOW? ONLY if it is YOUR choice made with the JOY of TRULY understanding and thus having the freedom of dewtachment from this "ADDICTION" and no desire to pro-create. For most of you, especially adults, "sexual behavior" has now become addictive, so you must treat it as such. Remove as much of the "temptation" from your presence as possible, just as the alcoholic must remove himself from "bars" and must remove the alcohol from his home. Be gentle with self, carefully abide by the list of TEN items above which are "STRICTLY FORBIDDEN" sexual behaviors (including Adultery). If yiou are single or married and have addiction to the "sexual act", use occasional masturbation as the lesser of the evils "if you must." If you are happily married and both have "enjoyed" your addiction to the monogamous mutual masturbation of your sexual act, both partners will need to become detached for the addiction to bed gone.
So be gentle with self and your mate, but be aware and responsible to "consequences" (such as pregnancy).and persistent in your goal (to self) to release and detach from ALL things of Physical Manifestation. Simply RECOGNIZE without punishing self with guilt and shame that this is a transgression against the Creative spirit of life within you. For a time accept that you will have desire because you are "addicted" and many of you understand it as an "extension" of your love. Do not punish self or other, let the "desire" dissolve naturally within each partner. As you begin the unfoldment and adventure of discovering YOUR creative spiritual potential, you will be surprised, because at some point you will find that the "sexual act" is no longe appealing to either of you. You will be detached and no longer have interest in it!

I’ll add the text message in quotes below- this is from my best friend. She is in a same sex relationship and are exploring the option of IVF eventually to have children of their own.
From the beginning of this pregnancy I have felt very much like I need to validate her feelings of not being able to just get pregnant. I have often felt guilty that I can get pregnant and she cannot without spending 1000s of dollars. I feel like I am setting my thoughts and feelings aside to help her get through her own. I then get this message this morning and it honestly just broke my heart a little. Not only did I have the intention of including part of her name to my daughter- I know feel like I have to be selfless once again and not name my daughter what I want and have to disclose that information so we don’t name our kids the same (I know what her daughters name will be-it’s not the same)
Am I overreacting? Are my feelings valid? There’s always been some sort of issue in regards to her feelings everything I’ve been pregnant (this is my third).
“So about the name thing - I totally respect if that’s not something you want to talk about or disclose. There are just two quick things I want to express just so you know in advance.
I know one of the options in the past was combining my middle name and your grandma’s middle name. I do not want to assume this is still the case, so please ignore if it’s not. But I just want you to choose a name you genuinely like and don’t feel like you need to incorporate my name into it. So if you truly love (baby name) , please go for it! But I don’t want you to name her that because of me, if that makes sense. I honestly really hate my middle name (probably because it’s associated with (her mom) lol). So if you really love (baby name) still, please go for it!! I just don’t want you to name her that because of me. If that makes sense.
Second, I know this sounds really dumb because we aren’t pregnant yet, but we do have a name picked out for a daughter if we have one. (We’ve literally had this name picked out since we first started dating hahaha). So if there’s anyway you can let me know the amount of letters the name you have will be (when you know for sure) or if it’s more than 4 letters that would be amazing just in case 1 in 1000 happens and we end up with the same name. I definitely don’t want to tell you what you can or cannot name your child, I just wanted to be honest that we have one picked out that we would really like to use if we are able to.
I just wanted to get these things out of my brain because I didn’t want to ever feel like I was keeping something important from you, and no matter what, I’m so excited to be an auntie to your new little bean and so happy that you finally get a girl! No matter what her name is, she’s going to be the most loved niece and I can’t wait to meet her. ♥️”

Hello, and assalaamu alaikum all,
I am Damon Stengel. I am posting my story because it will have a significant impact and it will help many who are doubting or hidden ex-Ahmadis among both born and convert Ahmadis.
I am a former convert to Ahmadiyya and I was very passionate in Tabligh. I want to share with you all my story.
I was once a very fanatical and fundamentalist Ahmadi. I would call ex and doubting Ahmadis cowards and munafiqs for speaking out against Jammat. All that changed with the past years. This is the story of my secret ex-conversion. This is the story of how I reclaimed my true self once more:
After I joined the Jammat in my late teens, I was excited. I felt I finally found the truth I've been searching for all my life. I was getting, what I thought were frequent true dreams. I frequently read books so I can debate and refute opponents.
Gradually, and growing older, I slowly ran into a problem: There were some references that seemed to go against Mirza Sahib and it was causing me to doubt. I convinced myself that I can find answers for these allegations because it is true, some objections to Jammat are complete lies (not realizing at the time not all are lies).
I increased my reading of literature, but some of the doctrines of Jammat seemed to conflict with the doctrines of traditional Islam like the seal of Prophethood. Reading Aik Ghalati Ka Azala seemed to clear up my confusion but it began to turn into cognitive dissonance.
I nearly left Jammat in 2019 because I began to embrace my more skeptical side again, but it took a phone call by my mentor to stay with the simple words: "Did Huzoor ever lie once?"
with no Nida audio at the time, I had to say "No.", And then, I had a revival of blind faith, diving deeply into religious fundamentalism of the Ahmadi kind. I was ready to by way of Majazi (pun intended) to throw hands with anyone that spoke out against Jammat or those who are hidden ex Ahmadis. I fed lies to myself that I did find the truth, it was just me hanging out in the company of skeptics so I chose to hang out with fundies on Twitter.
Because I felt this was the truth. These was the lies I constantly told myself. I told myself I am the Prodigal Ahmadi convert and man, did I take Tabligh to the extreme just like Razi does. I can definitely see why some of you may have thought I was a Jammat plant sent after ex Ahmadis
I remember I made a really long article years ago saying converts already explored the world and therefore they're better than ex Ahmadis because they went into the world whereas converts were already in the world, but found the "truth".
How wrong I was! Because as I grew in more knowledge of Ahmadi literature, I also began reading a lot of secular and non-Ahmadi Islamic literature as well.
I consistently found the stuff I've read to not match up with the teachings of Jammat or that there were so many contradictions, I couldn't answer allegations. Part of it was because I didn't know Urdu, and my Arabic was sloppy.
So I began gradually learning Urdu and improving my Arabic. After becoming married, my Urdu improved a lot. a family member from my in laws gave me a hand in pronunciation of Urdu letters and words. I would say Ghora (horse) was the most difficult but I can just barely do it slightly better than a born Ahmadi raised here in American. I picked up on basic Urdu really quick. So it helped me with reading some literature.
I improved my Arabic as well. That's when I realized Jammat was purposely mistranslating some passages such as Haqiqatul Wahi on Majazi prophethood.
Once I asked Razi why we don't have a good translation on a Quranic verse and the Arabic says differently, and he indirectly called me arrogant and accused me of knowing Arabic better than Huzoor so I chose to keep quiet. I started questioning again later
When a Bhai came out to me as an ex Ahmadi, I ran to Razi. Razi told me to cut him off and I did. I continued in my religious fundamentalist phase and then I cut out all the ex Ahmadis in obedience to Jammat saying to not hang out with them.
And I would delete my social media and then come back with new account and make articles refuting allegations. Yet, deep down, that cognitive dissonance I mentioned earlier continued to increase. I studied logic and fallacies to try to help myself, and i slowly realized Ahmadi arguments are ridiculous and Razi is very manipulative in his Tabligh.
Then, Mohammad Abr Razack showed me a different side to Muslim Dawah and he seemed like a very decent man, even if I may not have agreed with him on everything. same with talking with Sohail Ahmed, Reason On Faith, his mannerisms definitely resembled that of an Ahmadi Muslim, socially.
I continue and continued. The homeopathy and other social media controversies rocked my faith as Kashif Bhai can attest. whenever Kashif Bhai would confront me on these things, I would avoid.
when I first started seeing Kashif Bhais posts on homeopathy, I chose to ignore it. but then I saw the backlash of the fundamentalist Ahmadis. I tried to reason with one in that they shouldn't be harsh with Kashif Bhai but I got rebuffed and accused of being a coward and so I chose to retreat and not participate.
wasn't really until a year later, I somewhat got a bit more vocal about my fundamentalism on homeopathy but even then I wasn't directly confrontational. only that me and Kashif Bhai butted heads a lot in DMs, and that's when he told me some stories of his treatment by some figures in Jammat. I chose to ignore at the time.
still, I got married and I had my kid. After another bout on social media, I took a year long break.
I left to focus on family but also because my identity crisis was at an all time high, and my own behaviors were causing problems in my marriage. There was also a point i thought of suicide because I had two conflicting realities and identities (Ahmadi-fused me vs. the real me) in my head. I eventually started seeing a therapist for unaddressed childhood trauma and that changed everything about my perspective on life. I learned new techniques to manage emotions and my relationships.
I returned to social media with newfound empathy for others and I intended to be the perfect Ahmadi. That's when I approached a couple ex Ahmadi brothers I used to talk to before they left and patched things up. I even patched things with Bashir Shah (even if I still don't always agree with his approach).
Little did I know, it would be the end of me being Ahmadi.
When I saw Craig Considine's post about pro Palestinian protesters and accusing them of BS rhetoric, I got mad and so did a buddy of mine from Texas. He published a blog against Craig and I posted it to social media. That's how Craig was able to get a hold of it.
He disassociated himself from Ahmadis and many tried to reason with him and others called him out. I fought with a buddy of mine who kept blindly defending Craig because "Huzoor loves him" (that Muslun guy I had an exchange with today lmao; i called him Batalvi Sahib haha for his religious fanaticism).
Slowly, I realized Huzoor may be misguided.
I spoke with my old ex Ahmadi friend more and more and I spoke with his cousin as well. Both of them I looked up to as role models in my early years of Ahmadiyyat (and I still see them as such) and was sad to hear both of them leaving but with my newfound empathy of seeing good in others from therapy, I knew they both are still great people.
What made me disown Qadiani Khilafat was after reading the Shahatul-Quran or testimony of the holy Quran by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. It presented a very different picture of Khilafat and he said it's eternal and will last until the day of Judgement. That contradicts Jammat doctrine of him declaring prophethood in 1901 and then , contradicts the supposed doctrine from the Wassiyat that Khilafat will be established after his demise.
I told my friend about it and he told me to look at the Lahori versions of Correction of an error and the will. I saw for myself the numerous references where Mirza sahib did not claim prophethood but only by way of metaphor. He was a saint claimant. Nothing more and that it was Khalifatul Masih II that invented the doctrine that his father was a prophet
I began questioning why we say "alayhi salaam" after the title of promised Messiah, as if he's on the same rank as previous prophets before Rasulullah (saw).
Knowing this as well as previous controversies regarding the 200 million Ahmadis thing in 2001, and then reading the Khilafah nabuwwah minhaj Hadith in depth (which Qadianis use to promote their propaganda), I knew their Khilafat was false.
Then, I finally had the courage to look up the transcript of Masroor's call with Nida Sahiba and I was disgusted. I've read the entire script of that call. Having studied psychology and psychiatry on and off for years, I remember there was a part of the transcript I've read in both English and Urdu where Huzoor told his niece that she should've screamed when one of the people she was accusing raped her.
She thoroughly debunked Huzoor and said that therapists say that everyone has a different trauma response and her trauma response was freezing. Which is true because adrenaline is our evolutionary survival instinct. It is either fight or flight. Many rape victims freeze for safety reasons lest they escalate the situation further. I felt that was very ignorant of Huzoor to say those messed up things to her, and I was happy I disowned the Caliphate because so many convert brothers went up to me to ask about it for years, and I gave unsatisfactory answers or made up excuses. Now I know the truth.
let me make it clear: Some have countered that Nida couldn't prove her case to the courts. however, I would refer them to articles that say we need to change the way courts view rape victims: https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx
"Morabito says more resources, public education and policies that encourage prosecutors to bring cases to trial are needed, although it may take time to change public opinion.
“Maybe if more of these cases were tried, we’d break down those myths and see more of what sexual assault cases really involve,” she says."
anyways,
I continued to believe in Mirza sahib but held the Lahori position, but I began to question his claim itself. I read about the fabrication of Daru-Qutni and I realized it's actually technically a dishonor to orthodox Islam to quote a fabrication that disrespects the scholars who proved fake Hadiths are not to be used.
my two ex Ahmadi friends continued to share with me their skepticisms in order to show me the falsehood of Mirza sahib. When one of them showed me proof that the red drops revelation happened in a bathroom, I without question, disowned Mirza sahib as well.
I felt relief. As if a heavy weight and burden was lifted off my shoulders after nearly 10 years. The whole reason I was Ahmadi for so long was due to my ego. I didn't want to admit I was duped. I didn't want to admit I converted out of youthful naivety.
when I first started meeting with the Ahmadis, my gut instinct when I originally hung out with the Ahmadis was to read all of Mirza Sahib's literature and then make a decision, but a Murabbi told me if I keep waiting, I'll go to hell. So I made the decision in haste and did bait. Never did I admit this in any of my stories
I've always had a skeptical side of me and I embrace it fully now. this is why my conversion to non-denominational Islam isn't really complete either because I have no intentions in trading one religious dogma for another. I have chosen to embrace my old agnostic atheism once more.
actually, these views of mine were always such for years. unconsciously, I was always an agnostic, but I just chose to not consciously acknowledge it. yet, I'm free at last, my story is very similar to many other ex Ahmadis and doubting/questioning Ahmadis in here.
I'm gonna tell you guys straight up, my soul left jammat a long time ago. I only just admitted it to myself a few weeks ago, and I embraced the true me.
I realized in a sense (even though it was my own choice and free will out of a false passion) that Jammat indirectly used me for their propaganda. I wanted to imitate Razi and be in the same league as him, and damn straight, I sure am in the same league as them from both the perspectives of Ahmadis and those who disagree with them.
Many ex and more open-minded Ahmadis (such as Kashif Bhai) called (indirectly) me ignorant of the facts, naive, head-in-sand, and a product of religious indoctrination. I realized how right they are. I fell for the same cult vibe just as the one I grew up in-Pentecostal Christianity.
Now, the very person that was heavy against ex-Ahmadis and questioning Ahmadis online for years and said he's better than them, has found the truth, is now himself, an ex-Ahmadi because he grew in emotional intelligence and empathy for others.
It's ironic. Both convert Ahmadis and ex Ahmadis have so much in common in regards to opposition. I, out of all people should've understood the most of why ex and doubting Ahmadis think the way they do. But now I truly understand.
Viewing myself as the "Savior and Prodigal Convert Ahmadi" for people who doubt and it was definitely taxing on my mental health. It was just pure ego. Nothing more.
I thought I could "save" other Ahmadis, but I couldn't even "save" myself.
Except I saved myself from religious indoctrination and possible insanity
You can lose friends and family n stuff, but if you lose yourself, that's the worst feeling ever. Ngl
These are my views summarized:

• I am an agnostic atheist. I still choose to socially follow Islam
  
• no religion is absolute. Every religion is a philosophy, but it offers one a very limited lens to look into the reality and phenomena of things
  
• growing up in a dogmatic religion (Pentecostal Christianity) and experiencing yet, another, I am not a big fan of religious dogma as it caps our natural critical thinking abilities. It limits us to one view and that's not good for mental health.
  
• I've embraced my real and true self after burying him for a long time under the excuses of dogmatic religion
  
• I've been doubting and having cognitive dissonance for a long time. I've just chosen to acknowledge reality a few weeks ago, and then officially announced.
  
• I despise the Desi culture in Jammat and they're going to inevitably gossip about me now that I freed myself.
  
• I believe in scientific progress, and my lens on the world are viewed from a scientific perspective.
  
• While I admire Islam, I don't believe men are superior to women nor do I believe a 50 year old man should marry a 6 year old (or 9 by Jamamt standards). Sure, it was the customs of the ancient times, but we don't live in the ancient times anymore. We live in the modern era. Marrying a child is disgusting
  
• all humans are agnostic one way or another
  
• a god is possible but there is no convincing evidence for any personal God
  
• all religions preach the same evidence, same doctrines, same amount of prophets, same amount of gods
  
• Ahmadi Muslims claim to get true dreams but so do Christians and other Muslims, as if God was in a competition with himself
  
• I love philosophy and currently studying more of it
  
• we should treat our current world views like a scientific theory.
  
• Let me elaborate, it may not be an absolute truth but our evidence confidently lead to the conclusion that this thing explains the phenomena of these happenings
  
• I often meditate to center myself and I focus on the present and "is". This has helped me to reconnect with my true self
  
• I am a cultural Muslim as I still don't eat pork, drink alcohol, smoke weed, and I still occasionally recite Quran
  

In essence, my views are very similar to my views from before entering the Jammat, in that, I believed all religions had the same amount of gods, same amount of prophets and same amount of books, as if God(s) were in a competition with Him/themselves.
That's my view on this world again, and if anything, history has repeatedly shown religious dogma causes stagnation in communities. openness to other views and perspective and intermixing is key, and I just dislike how Jammat and the nizam say we need to get back to "the core teachings" or "don't worry about what others are doing. focus on yourself and your connection to Allah and Khilafat.", this completely ignores the reality of the problems in Jammat like the rape scandals, rampant and judgemental Desi culture of excessive gossip and defaming, stagnation in the education of its members (being the former Nizam Taleem of MKA Baltimore), most converts leaving after converting because they found no love in the social structure of Jammat or it's too dogmatic, no one is enthusiastic about Tabligh or Taleem, Jammat encourages calling people and "being their friend", but people see through the B.S. behind that. Jammat has grown stagnant and refuses to hold themselves accountable for fear of a ruined reputation despite the fact this philosophy ruins their reputation further. it sounds to me as if Jammat is like an insecure narcissistic man who never takes responsibility for his wrongs and always blames the other person.
Ameer Sahib always lectures the people of Jammat in the Jalsas of how sad he is about the bad tarbiyyat of Ahmadis or those not joining the Wassiyat scheme (and I speak as a former Moosi, so no one can lecture me here), but he only presents himself as someone judgemental and not someone that speaks with humility. it seems it's just another speech about low turnout. maybe instead of lecturing everyone, might be better to reform the institution from ground up? perhaps Musleh Maud's system no longer works in this era. or that it needs great reforms to better progress the community. there is too much of a social hierarchy in this institution and it's filled with those who have no real understanding of the struggles of Ahmadi youth.
don't get me started on the Noah's ark rhetoric and how Jammat presents it. Everytime I would ever read that book or listen to excerpts in speeches or zoom calls, I'd feel guilty and like a peace of trash. especially with Masroor Sahib saying a nuclear war is upon us soon. I feel this is a cult because more chanda is being demanded. more guilt tripping is being made to gaslight members into blindly following. I saw a child cry in their parent's arms upon hearing what Masroor Sahib said about "World War III is here." why would you expose a child to that??? that's terrible mental torture and I felt bad for them.
That's all I got for now.
Everything else has been explained here:
https://x.com/LAhmadi25/status/1796569889802768775?t=RAQ9GWfQObLXIsY0tSN_8w&s=19
Sincerely,
Damon Stengel, The Ex-Ahmadi Convert

Sharmin Segal is receiving an enormous amount of hate on the internet after her role as Alamzeb in the Netflix series Heeramandi. The series is directed by her uncle Sanjay Leela Bhansali and was long overdue. However, after seeing the character of Alamzeb, many people took to the internet, each with their own negative comment about Sharmin Segal, so much so that she had to close all the comments sections of her Instagram posts. Several actors from the series came to her defense, including Taaha Shah and Shruti Sharma. Nevertheless, Sharmin continues to be trolled for her facial expressions, which are always the same according to Internet users, her “weird face, which has undergone too many injections", and her acting, which is considered by many to be lacking. Sanjay Leela Bhansali has also received a great deal of criticism, with many accusing him of wanting to make his niece famous at all costs, and of ruining Heeramandi by giving her the role of Alamzeb.

1. Why nepotism doesn't bother you.

Nepotism only seems to bother people when the parent who gave their child a post isn't a hero or heroine. Many of you have been harassing little Taimur (son of Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan) since he was born. The trendy babies are now Raha Kapoor (daughter of Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor) and the unborn child of Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh. These children (babies or fetuses) are the talk of the town and have been in the spotlight since they were born. What's to say that when they grow up, they don't continue to take advantage of the fame they've already acquired to play big roles just like their parents, thus satisfying the indirect demands of the pulic? You keep asking for the children of so-and-so to appear on screen, but when they do, there's always controversy.
Finally, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, despite his impact and his many successful films, doesn't enjoy hero status or is not respected enough by the general public to offer nepotism to his niece. Why not? Every time he releases a film, he's under fire from critics, threatened with death for Padmaavat, threatened by religious organizations for “goliyon ki rase leela ram leela”, accused of romanticizing prostitution in Gangubai Kathiawadi and Heeramandi. This man is both Bollywood's most beloved director and its most hated. If the public doesn't love him, how can he get them to love anyone else? In 2007, in the movie Saawariya, he tried to cast 2 nepo kids at the same time, Sonam Kapoor and Ranbir Kapoor, but it was a bitter failure and the director still remembers it to this day, so I don't think it was his intention to give his niece an unfair place. According to Sharmin Segal, he had her audition 17 times for the role of Alamzeb, which she apparently passed. Is she now the right choice for Alamzeb? I don't think so, but all this hatred is definitely undeserved.
What's more, Sanjay Leela Bhansali strives in all his films to bring unknown or forgotten actors to the spotlight (Gulshan devaia, Jim Sarbh, Shantanu Maheshwari, Taaha Shah...), so for me the accusations of nepotism are unfair. Yes, he may have wanted to help his niece's career, just as most of us would.
What's more, Sharmin's career has been struggling since her debut in 2019 and she's only had 2 roles since her debut in Malaal.

1. Sexism

This excessive hatred can only be found towards women. Never have Salman Khan or Saif Ali Khan (who are bad actors and come from nepotism) found themselves under such a wave of hatred; on the contrary, they are applauded for the slightest wink. When they couldn't quote a line to save their lives (we can talk again about how Salman single-handedly ruined Hum dil de chuke sanam). Saif's daughter, Sara Ali Khan, is much more trollable on social media, even though she offers better performances than her father.
https://preview.redd.it/3nzdfcbvnf3d1.png?width=554&format=png&auto=webp&s=469c17ee36e2504332639051670290e062095563
Sharmin also faces criticism about her physique, which has nothing to do with her performance, people have been criticizing her supposedly bad injections, or her posture, or her supposedly unpleasant voice, or her personality and calling her ugly. These comments reflect the real intentions of Internet users, which are not to give constructive criticism, but rather to destroy the actress. Such criticism can only be seen towards young actresses coming ans nepotism is often an excuse (as men nepo kids don't get that much hate).

1. Acting.

Having seen the series in one go, on the day of its release without seeing the reviews, Alamzeb struck me as rather melancholy, withdrawn and shy. She didn't react much to traumatic events in her life because she was afraid of her mother MallikaJaan. I didn't see the problem in her acting, which to me made sense as a whole (not just taken out of context). Sharmin was trolled for her non-reaction to her lover's death in the series, which was certainly disappointing, but it was reminiscent of the scene in the film “ram-leela” where Deepika has her finger cut off and walks slowly until she collapses. And that's the problem for me.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali tried make Sharmin act the way he directed Deepika Padukone. For example, Deepika's acting in Padmaavat is very similar to Sharmin's in Heeramandi. Very stoic in all situations, not overly expressive, reserved and calm. In Padmaavat, when the queen learns of her husband's death, a single tear rolls down her cheek and nothing more, but you can feel all the sadness of the character because Deepika's eyes are more expressive and she's a much more experienced actress. Padmaavat's role was hard to take on, and that's Sanjay's mistake, trying to reproduce it with a different, novice actress.
https://preview.redd.it/iqg3two7nf3d1.png?width=435&format=png&auto=webp&s=08c4ad88fd12d70f1e517acf9f24db3e63394fc2
In the film atithi bhooto bhava we can see that her performance isn't at all the same as in her role as Alamzeb, where she seems more comfortable and her lines more natural, so it's not a problem of skill but of direction (she'd probably be more at ease in comedy).
Now people have the right not to like a performance or a character but nothing justifies bullying the person acting it.

I’m a 23 year old female with no kids, but I frequently watch my older cousin’s children, a 5 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. My cousin’s wife is quite obsessed over my niece’s appearance and thinks she’s too chubby (she’s 46lbs / 21kg). Ever since the beginning of the year she’s been restricting her food and cut off any sweets. When she dropped the kids off at my place last weekend she asked me, and I quote “not to give the chubby one have any candy and or seconds, if she’s hungry give her some veggies.” During both lunch and dinner time my niece finished everything and as if she was scared she asked for more, saying she was still hungry. Not thinking much of it I gave her a bit more both times. The next day I get an angry call from my cousin’s wife saying that she will not be letting me see the kids until I respect the rules she sets for them. I tried arguing with her saying that cutting off sweets is fine but putting a 5 year old girl on a diet isn’t an acceptable thing but I was just cut off. So… am I the asshole?

I 19F live with my mother 53F, Siblings 17F(Z) & 21F(C) and niece (5months). When my mother found out my sister C was pregnant she told her and her boyfriend to move in so they could be together and she could help them. A short while ago her bf left so now she has to find a job AND take care of an infant. As for Z they can't get a job because they have to focus on school until the summer. I have a lowpaying fast food job but they give me 4 hours a week. (We are all applying for jobs atm its just been slow) Between me and my siblings buying enough groceries to last us the week is almost impossible (sometimes C has to 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 formula) . My mom stopped getting foodstamps because she got a pay bump that disqualifies her from government assistance (nurse/surgeon) and has only been grocery shopping maybe 3 times since(oct 23'). She also doesn't cook which doesn't matter to me and C bc we're more than happy to do so ourselves but what I do have a problem with is how much takeout she buys. Up until a month ago her job required her to fly out of state on weekdays and gave her $75 a day for food. When she came back on Fridays she'd sometimes buy us takeout but when I asked her to buy groceries she would ignore me. Recently she's had a personal vendetta against C for NO reason like it actually makes me rlly sad to see how hard my sister is trying and my mom always needs to bring her down about something. Shes especially been criticizing her cleaning even though theres nothing wrong. Actually she put the wrong chair at the table so I suppose in my moms mind that warrants her getting cursed out. Anyways the other day I asked my mom if she could pls buy groceries because there wasn't even meat in the fridge and she said "I'll buy groceries when you guys can keep the house clean" (mind you she came home the other day rearranged a few things then left the kitchen a mess). I know this is bs because of the fact that she hasnt bought groceries in months and also because the house IS clean but her excuse was that and im quoting her exactly because i got it on video "you're making more trash if you eat". That being said I bought a few groceries the other day because my dad sent me money. All I made was a pot of spaghetti but enough to last me and my siblings a day or 2. My mom (who had already bought herself food and eaten) then asks if I can make her a bowl. I say no then walk away before she can say anything. The next morning she asks "why didn't you make me a bowl of spaghetti last night" to which I answer "because you won't buy us groceries" I could've further explained that she already ate and the fact that I had to use what little money I had to buy ingredients but to her it must've just sounded like I was being spiteful. (maybe I was just a little but i had more valid reasons as to why I didnt want her eating our food) She then proceeds to start cursing and talking about how the food I made is making extra dishes in the sink and bugs are going to be all over them (which btw the bugs would hypothetically still be all over them whether or not i made her a bowl) but once again I walked away in the middle of her rambling. Now she won't talk to me and I sorta feel bad because she's my mom but at the same time what can I do ? I feel like she's purposely making things harder for us while we're struggling. I know we're adults but she has the means to help us and just won't.

Hi everyone, I’m a relatively new fan of FF7 but I absolutely love it. After I finished FF7 Remake, Crisis Core, advent children, and Rebirth I- like most people- naturally picked a side of the shipping war, but I didn’t expect it to be a big deal, but…

OH MY GOD

Let me clarify two things:
1 - I’m very invested in the debating scene of different religious views, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that the shipping wars of FF7 have more ferocity than people debating their religion.
2 - I have never seen a fanbase so smart when it comes to researching stuff to support their ship, you will find fans bringing up a quote from a school video of the niece of the cousin of a developer of the game if it meant it would support their ship even slightly.
My question is this: There is SO much information to make a decision on who is the right person for Cloud. Are we as fans looking into things that aren’t there? Or are the devs this smart in creating through many games, movies, books, guides, two possible romantic interpretations where you can trully interpret either one as true love and the other as not so true.
I honestly haven’t seen in my life such a compelling love triangle in modern media.
Is the complexity a testament to the skill of the writers or is it mostly a creation of fans looking into things that aren’t there?