Spying on sister changing

My sisters were toxic so I cut them off but I still somewhat am an auntie. It’s hard to see the positive of escaping my home properly. Issues with housing & a disabled parent in the mix of that. Relationship is all fucked up. My health continues to decline. I tried being on the up & up, I tried imagining a future & being excited about it. I tried so many different things, & genuinely trying. But I’m so tired of life. But I think more than anything, I’m tired of me. And my only real fear is becoming disabled & being more of a burden. I don’t fear death. I am exhausted of life. Some people say I should be grateful, I’ve tried to be & still am. It doesn’t change how I feel.
I didn’t know what flair to use. I’m really just venting but I’m not opposed to replies.

Please don’t share this sa Facebook or any social media outlets
I’ve always been called aloof and cold by guys I know. Only had one boyfriend. Never into that stuff anyway.
My father almost sexually assaulted/molested me growing up. I grew up being a fighter (not physically but I don’t tolerate and will speak up always) so I always block his advances, told my mom about it… he’s an ofw (in our country, that means someone who works outside of his home country, for better pay) and he comes home for a month every year.. we hardly see each other. He would emotionally and physically abuse us by the time I turned 13x never everyday but ever since he goes home, it’s always a war, one time it got so bad, I was rushed to the hospital because I accidentally stepped on a broken bottle of beer he threw AT US. Ive always been full of anxiety, and get always scared everytime he comes home because that guy is fcking monster. There never goes a day where he just didn’t still. He called me and my names, all the worst things you can imagine.
I graduated, moved out of our hose… though, the emotional scar never healed, it was peaceful for a while. I never entertained boys, nor do I have interest. I was focus on my goals. Come this Feb, my current workplace is near my aunt’s house. For a while, I thought everytubjng was okay since I’m staying with my aunt (who’s the youngest sister of my mom) and his husband who’s 70 years old and I’m as far as away from my hometown.
Now, my aunt’s husband, growing up, I always knew him to be generous and kind…. But then today changed everything, I received a message from him telling me he finds me so pretty, he likes me and that he feels like I like him too. He added the message with a, “let’s see when I come home” and I almost collapsed. Told my mom and his wife about it.
I just can’t speak today. I feel like drowning and I was feeling like a zombie at work, trying to hold myself together or I might fucking break. It fucking sucks. This feeling. I never gave any signs and as if I’d ever like someone like him.
I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I don’t deserve to be treated and seen this way. I never gave them any signs!!!!!
I’m so fucking angry.

I know it’s kinda messed up, but I’m the one who broke up and I’m now the one who can’t move on. I wasn’t feeling right and had a lot of trouble with myself during our last moments and she started seeking attention from others so I decided to put an end to it.
After a couple of weeks, I was in such a big dilemma, asking myself if it was the right decision. I chose to get back in contact with her. It lasted a week because she was texting other guys and not giving me any attention despite saying that she love me, want to talk to me and see me. Yes we did see each other a couple of time during this week, but I’m pretty sure it was out of pity from her. It killed me and I completely stoped texting or seeing her after.
Now, I’m getting better slowly with highs and lows but a single question is still in my head.
Did she ever loved me?
I’m asking myself this question because during the week we talked after the breakup she acted like I was no one to her and told me that she started loosing feelings while I was in my “depressed” phase during our last moments so that helped her get trough it. She had a hoe phase right before being with me and seeing videos of her before our relation, I knew that she had completely changed with me. There was still some sign of toxic behaviour during our relationship ( texting guys while telling me they’re just friends or keeping the conversation going with strangers because she didn’t wanted to be rude).
I know that I come from a great and very successful family and that she is living with her single mom and 4 sisters from different dads, living by the pay check. I was a very supportive boyfriend, willing to spend all my time with her, give her nice gifts when there was an occasion, listen to her problems or anything that she wanted to tell me and make compromise to keep her happy.
Having a look on my relation, I think that she never loved me, she only loved the way I treated her.
If you want to know more about it, I’m willing to had more!
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I live in Ontario, I owe FRO (Family Responsibility Office) newlry $16,000. This is not due to neglect, I got hit with a lot of back payments from a job I don't work at anymore. Where I made a good 95k annually.
I chose this option hoping I could see my daughter more..it only backfired on me. I don't get to see her anymore and I can't afford to keep going back to court, I have a sick mother and sister, I have to be there for full time basically.
Anyway..enough about that..I am $16,000 in CS debt. I can't get a license to get a better job, I can't rent an apartment due to hard credit checks, I can't get loans to pay this off apparently, my credit is now 611, finding a job is near impossible now with so much immigration, so I work from home on commissions and ecommerce sales. It's basically 50-1 now compared to 5 years ago trying to find a job (I am not against immigration, I am just referring to growth in population).
I am afraid if I don't pay this I'll be thrown in jail. I need to be free of this stress.
If an advisor, someone with my experiences even. Anyone who KNOWS what they are talking about. Please answer.
Do NOT insult me please. My truth is my own, I love my daughter, I want her in my life by any mean necessary. I will attempt to chip away at this as much as possible. I don't need to be told I am a dead beat for owing child support. I have always paid and supported what I could her entire life. Even with that, courts only see numbers and statements. Please be respectful.
My QUESTION:
Can I pay off my child support in Ontario via debt consolidation?
Where could I possibly get a loan based on my situation?
Note: I have tried pleading with the courts, this is the final decision. I'll go back when I can in a year's time, or if something significant changes with my assets and income.
Thank-you.

Me, (24 F) and my siblings are going on a short weekend trip to celebrate our sisters graduation. I am seeing this trip as a mini vacation/ family reunion since all the siblings will be there. My brother (26M) however, sees it more as an obligation. There are 3 siblings 2 spouses, and 2 toddlers traveling together from the same city. We are hitting the road early Friday morning, but my brother has a work obligation so will have to fly out Saturday the morning of the graduation. He and his finance are also planning to elope the following Monday. I reached out earlier this week to try and coordinate all the parts of the travel as we are all going to be driving home together. I wanted to squeeze us into a large SUV to save the expenses of taking 2 cars but we would have to agree on a time to head home. I prefer to get the most time out of the trip as I can so wanted to leave after dinner. This also makes it easier to keep the kids on their sleep schedule and often makes for a more peaceful car ride. My brother wants to be home by 4/5. It’s a 6 hour drive so that means leaving at 11. I was willing to compromise and agreed to plan to leave at noon so we could do an early brunch before hitting the road but this didn’t work because I wanted a more flexible departure time. I didn’t want he and his fiancé to start getting antsy if it started getting close to noon and we seemed like we weren’t going to be leaving RIGHT on time. When I said that he seemed to take it as I wanted an hour or two of “Flex Time” but I was trying to explain I only wanted to be able to have a little (like 20 min) of wiggle room. We settled on taking 2 cars to alleviate the issue altogether
Fast forward to today and I called my older brother to figure out the details of picking up the rental and plans for leaving in the morning. Somehow or another We started on the disagreement of whether we all would be able to fit into one car with our luggage. I feel like we could fit even if it might be a little tight. He disagrees wholeheartedly. We dropped it though because it didn’t matter since we were taking 2 cars regardless. Then the topic of the departure time came up and we started disagreeing on that again. More lightheartedly at first, but still making our points. His that he wanted to be home in time to get ready for his elopement and mine that I wanted to make the most of my time on this trip. He claimed that I was making my wants the top priority and was unwilling to compromise to his needs (which he claimed were more important than mine because he needed to be home in time to get to businesses before they close in preparation for the elopement) he went on saying that I don’t care about anybody but myself. Which I argued is completely untrue as I have always been the person to put others needs before my own I am a people pleaser to a fault and always have been.
I’ve never eloped but I don’t know what businesses he would need to go to to sort things out, especially on a Sunday evening. So I asked him “what businesses” and he got defensive and said “it doesn’t matter what businesses, it could be a bounce house and it wouldn’t change the fact that I need to be there at a certain time.” I dropped that topic because frankly I didn’t believe him and I didn’t have time to dig into that. I pointed out that he never mentioned a NEED to be home for anything other than prepping for an elopement that will be Monday afternoon. And even so I did compromise much more on his side with agreeing to leave at noon. All I asked was for it to be a more laid back noon-ish rather than a firm noon on the dot. I continued on defending my character and told him he is not going to sit here and push that narrative on me like I don’t care about what anyone wants but myself. And he started laughing and said “you act like I’m attacking your character” “you are!” I responded, “ You just came for me as a person” he reiterated his point that his need to be back at a decent time trumps my want to spend more time on the trip. I ended up getting silent for a moment and just told him I think we’re going in circles and we’re not going to come to a resolution on this so I’m just gonna end the conversation here. We agreed to disagree and changed topics to planning the details of picking up the car but there was still this underlying tension and it’s eating at me. I don’t want something like this to build so much resentment in our relationship but we just cannot get to a point where we see eye to eye on this.. am I the asshole?

DISCLAIMER: I did not transcribe this myself, though I could. I had a machine do it, and then the machine threw up afterwards -- but I did go through and add some bullety points while Jamie shot off her mouth. It's a total word salad, but one has only to skim through and see the number of ways she yawns and yawps and contradicts herself ... and does not take a breath, so there is very little punctuation. Again it's a run-on slog and the AI program chose to only use periods to end 70-some sentences because of all the run-on "like ... you know ... and ... but" instances as she ran with it -- with NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOVER. I did take out the kids' names, and I did search-and-replace all instances of "to" with "tuh" because that IS how they talk!
ENJOY -- and I use that word lightly:
AND SO IT BEGINS WITH Doug wishing Happy Mother's Day … and immediately Jamie corrects him, "Well, not really Mother's Day …" since they are recording after Mother's Day. Got get those Doug corrections in toot sweet, lest he thinks he has a mind of his own.
They note they tend to be "a little late on things," but they are "trying to get better about that." Doug says they had a fantastic Mother's Day, and he asked her if she had a good time. She said she had a great time. Doug wrote Happy Mother's Day on some cards and the kids drew on them. He gave her an eyelash waxing and noted probably a bad idea. She said it wasn't that she wasn't thrilled as she did mention that pregnancy makes her eyebrows bushy, but she was scared, maybe just mentioned she'd need to tweeze, but oh, well, yes, she likes his gift.
Jamie noted that it was "just the four of us" and of course, the babies in her belly, and that was fine with her – until her son's birthday of course, when she noted that their entire families suck!
So onto her son's birthdays and THESE GEMS AND THOUGHTS: I think it's just pregnancy hormones, but honestly, like, I just, I just can't, like, I don't know why, like, I guess, like, you know, ever since I was little, I've always really, really wanted family, like, so badly, like, I wanted just, like, deep connections with people who truly love me, and I truly love them, and we just really, truly support each other, and just, I don't know, I think, like, just pregnancy hormones made me think about it, but, like, yesterday for Son's birthday, and just family members who just completely forgot, and they just don't care, and I'm like, is it me? Is it him?
Like, and I don't want my son tuh grow, like, he doesn't know, and he'll never know, because I'll make sure, I mean, I spent every second, that boy had no second tuh think yesterday, like, I picked him up from school, and I took him tuh the library, because that's where he wanted tuh go, and then we, like, you know, we really love surprises in this family, if that's not clear by now, and so Daughter and I surprised him with a splash pad, like, we went tuh the splash pad for the first time, and we never do things like that on a school night, and so, and then he got tuh go pick out a cake that he wanted, and then Doug had dinner already at home, and then also we had decorations in his bedroom, which I was, like, hoping tuh have for the morning, but then Doug was, like, at, like, midnight, when we're, like, thinking about starting tuh blow up the balloons, Doug is like, Jamie, let's just surprise him tomorrow after school.

(Notice she takes no breath … and also they were super-last minute when it came tuh getting ready for his birthday, versus, what we have all mentioned, that isn't so when it's a gender reveal or a party or pickleball or something FOR HER.)
HERE, DOUG ASKS … "WHY, ARE WE GONNA DO THIS NOW?" AND THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH THE LAST EFFORT HE MADE tuh STOP HER BECAUSE SHE WENT ON WITH: Yeah, because it was so late, but I was like, I just have, like, this vision that I just wanted for him, because, you know, I'm just trying tuh give them the childhood that, like, I would have wanted, that any little kid would want, and really all that involves is truly just two loving parents who are there, and, like, that's really all that really involves, but if I can go a little extra, you know, and surprise him, and I, then I want to, you know, and so, you know.
DOUG NOTES THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THEY KNOW ANY DIFFERENT, AND HE CONTINUES WITH: I don't think they really know any different, you know, and I know, I know it's, it's tough, and I think, especially with, like, little kids, you know, they, they won't necessarily feel the impact and that want, you know, and, and I know that you do, and it, it hurts me that, you know, you would, you would want people tuh care enough to, tuh reach out, and I think, you know, for, for me, I, that's, I don't really set my expectations or, or give those expectations tuh son and daughter.
JAMIE BLASTS BACK, SUPER-DEFENSIVELY: Oh, I do not either, though. I do not at all. I don't say a thing tuh them about anything, because, you know, sometimes people miss their – you know, and that happens sometimes, but when it's, like, over, and over, and over again, and, like, it's just so obvious, and, and people ask us why we moved tuh Florida, and don't we want tuh be near family, and, you know, tuh be very honest, this is why.
Like, we, you know, I, we would fly up there tuh try tuh prove, like, hey, listen, we're not just trying tuh leave, though. Like, we, we, I want that family connection so badly with your family, with my family, and it's just, you know, unfortunately, it's, people are in different stages of life. I try tuh make excuses, like, for them, and, you know, for us, and it's probably not personal, but the point of the matter is, is that whether it's not personal, and people are busy, and whatever the case may be, we don't have that family connection.
We just don't, and I'm, I try tuh nurture it, and, um, you know, and we do with some family members, and then just others, you know, you just, it's just. Well, you can't help but be disappointed. Yeah, and, like, I guess my heart hurts, because I want our son, and our daughter, and our children tuh have just so many people who love them, and want tuh be around them, and who will encourage them, and support them, and.
DOUG NOTES THAT HE THINKS FAMILY KNOW ALL OF THIS AND THAT THEY, THE KIDS KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE THEY HAVE FOR THEM, AND ALL THE EFFORTS THEY PUT FORTH, AND HERE HE SAYS, "Especially you," AND THAT ALL OF THIS IS WHAT MATTERS MOST.
JAMIE'S REBUTTAL: Yeah, I know, but Doug, what I'm trying tuh say is that, like, what I would want for them is them tuh have many people who love them, and, like, you know, like, I always wanted, you know, it's not even a secret, like, way back, I'm married at first, like, the one thing I wanted was tuh marry into a family, like, a big loving family that would welcome me as their own, and, and I'm really thankful for your family, and, yeah, but, like, I just feel like, like, I want that for our kids. Like, I wanted them tuh have people who loved them, who wanted tuh come around them.
Like, my, my siblings and I really didn't have many aunts or uncles or grandparents who, I mean, you know, it's kind of, it's so long, because, like, there are some people who were there, but it was, like, toxic, and aye, aye, aye, it's just, you know, it's just, at the end of the day, I'm pregnant, and it's just hormones, and I know our kids feel nothing but loved, but it's just really evident, like, on a birthday or holidays, like, people who, who actually, like, family who actually truly cares for us, and, like, all I've ever wanted was just our, like, I, I don't know why I care about these people caring about me, when, like, they don't care, and it's okay, and that's, that's, it's okay.
Like, it, I'm trying so hard tuh just be, like, accept it, girl. Like, you know, you can't force family tuh love you.
JAMIE TRIES TO DIFFUSE THE TIMEBOMB SITUATION THAT IS HIS WIFE, CLEARLY GOING OFF ON EVERYBODY BY SAYING HE KNOWS THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT THIS FOR THEM BUT THAT THEY, THE KIDS, DON'T EVEN NOW ABOUT ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW.
JAMIE'S REBUTTAL: Well, I know they don't, and so, at the end of the day, I was, like, sitting in bed crying earlier, and I was, like, what is wrong with me, because I know my son had a great birthday yesterday. Like, I made sure of it.
DOUG NOTES SHE "KILLED IT, YESTERDAY."
JAMIE BLASTS ON: At the end of the day, I think, like, it's a personal thing, because it's, like, they don't care about me, and therefore, they don't care about my son, and that hurts, you know? Like, it's just hurtful, and not, because I care about them, and I love them, and I've tried so hard tuh be part of them, and, and try to, like, I've tried changing my ways. I've tried tuh adapt tuh be more like them.
I've tried all these different things. At the end of the day, nothing I do, like, I may as well just be myself, and, and, because if I have tried tuh be like them, they don't like me. If I try tuh be myself, they don't like me.
Like, no matter what, like, I don't feel like, I feel like they're, I'm just kind of judged by them in the way that I live my life, and anyways, it's fine, but.
DOUG COUNTERS IT WITH THE FACT THAT JAMIE GOES "ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR EVERYBODY," AND THAT IT'S TOUGH THAT SHE "WANTS OR EXPECTS THAT IN RETURN," BUT NOTES THAT THIS IS ALSO MAYBE WHERE THE "BOUNDARIES" LIE … cool, they now have a title for the podcast!
JAMIE CONTINUES tuh BLAST: Well, no, of course, and this is exactly why I'm also crying happy tears, because for so long, I just really tried tuh nurture, like, a true, like, true family, and deep connection, and like, try tuh be, like, really close, and, and it's like, well, if you're the only person nurturing that, you're bound tuh get hurt. It's bound, it's not going tuh happen ever, because it has tuh be a two-way street, and so, unfortunately, like, I started putting up boundaries, and I knew it was going tuh hurt, and like, here it is. It's, it's hurting, you know, like, and then inevitably, they'll be like, you know, you moved tuh Florida, but even when we didn't live in Florida, let's be honest, like, we didn't see family very often, unless, like, it was, it just, unless it was us going places, and then even when we moved here, I would fly up there.
I flew up, we were flying up there, like, once a month. It was so expensive. It was so taxing, but I just wanted to, tuh kind of prove, hey, listen, like, but, you know, I'm so glad we moved here, because at the end of the day, you know, even if we never even find our own people, like, our focus is on our core family, like, we had zero distractions for Son yesterday, like, his birthday was the hundred, like, and it's just, that feels good, because normally, we wouldn't have that. Yeah, normally, I would be cleaning the house, trying tuh prep for people tuh come over, who I would have called 10 times, make sure they remember that he's coming, and it's like, or that his birthday is coming, and it's like, it's just, you know, this is such a vulnerable, I don't even know if I want tuh share any of this, because it's just so personal, but.
DOUG NOTES THAT ALL REFLECTS MORE ABOUT OTHERS AND NOT AN ATTACK ON JAMIE.
AND YET JAMIE CONTINUES TO DEFLECT AND ATTACK: No, I don't think it is either, but it's just very evident where people, like, if people care about us and our family, I don't think they actually, that's the thing, is they don't, like, and so, they're not thinking about it one way or the other, it doesn't even matter tuh them, and that's what hurts, because I wish that they cared about us the way that we cared about them, but they don't, and so, that's why I'm trying tuh have the boundaries tuh be like, find people who will care about you then, or just focus on your own family, and if people wonder why I want so many kids, well, there you go. People constantly say, why don't you love the two you have?
Oh, of course I do, and I'll tell you what, I want tuh have 10 more, because I want tuh raise them in a way where we love each other, we're always there for each other, we don't forget. It's just silly little milestones, it's not about presents, it's not about anything other than just love, and remembrance, and just, like, celebrating each other, and I am going tuh raise my kids tuh just really love each other, and tuh know that their parents love them, but God forbid, one of us are taken, and then, then it's like, I think about things like that, and I'm like, who do they have if they don't have us? Like, seriously, and that scares the crap out of me, because there are very few people who even remember, like, and tuh me, it's just a birthday, I know, it doesn't really matter, but like, that's of significance tuh that child, and people just don't care, like, they just, our fam, so many of our family members just don't care. Well, we make, we make it, and then I'm like, am I making a mountain out of a molehill, but like, and am I?
DOUG ALSO THINKS ABOUT THEM "DEPARTING EARLY" AND WHAT HAPPENS tuh THEM.
JAMIE BUSTS BACK IN, AND STARTS tuh TALK ABOUT "ESTATE PLANNING," WHICH SORT OF MADE ME SIDEYE BECAUSE SHE GOES ON tuh TALK ABOUT THE KIDS AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM, AS IF THEY WERE PART OF THE "ESTATE," BUT I GUESS SINCE THEY ARE THE MONEYMAKERS SHE THINKS OF IT MORE IN THAT WAY THAN GUARDIANSHIP PAPERWORK … AND SO SHE CONTINUES: Well, when you think about estate planning, and then who you're leaving your kids to, and I'm like, who can I leave my kids to, who are really going tuh love them, and the people right now didn't even call tuh wish him happy birthday, they didn't even call tuh wish him a happy birthday, they didn't send a gift, and it's not even about the gift, but it's about the thought, who do we have in our life, Doug? I don't think it's, you know, I ask if I think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but then I, like, I almost, like, talk, like, convince myself that, no, I'm not, like, I'm really trying tuh make sure that our kids are taken, like, loved and taken care of, and sure, we've got it out, down pat, but what happens, like, then what?
And like, I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole, and I'm sure this is all pregnancy hormones, and I'm just exhausted and tired, so, but I just think about these things, and then, and then people wonder why I am so thankful for our followers, for those of you listening tuh the podcast, and those of you who follow us on Instagram and YouTube, and who are just excited for us, because a lot of our own family members aren't, like, it's just wild, and so, yeah, and so thank you for those of you listening, and for those of you who comment, and just, you know, just are excited to, like, like, tuh be part of our family, like, because we have forever been looking for that, and, like, our family's just not that interested, and we could try, and try, and try.
DOUG: Out of sight, out of mind.
JAMIE BINGOS!!!!! THAT THOUGHT AND CONTINUES: Yeah, it's, and it's fine, but I'll tell you what, I genuinely do appreciate every single five-star review, every single, like, nudge that you just, every single moment that you take out of your life just tuh be like, hey, what's up with Jamie, you know, and that's why I try tuh do giveaways, and I try to, you know, like, read your five-star reviews, and I try tuh show you that I genuinely care about you, too, because I really think that it is a two-way street with everything in life, like, so whether it's, you know, family, it's friends, it's working, it's, we're colleagues, like, if someone is showing you a lot of, you know, any support, or encouragement, or care, like, then that's the person that you should then go show love, support, and encouragement, and care to, whether they're family or not, and unfortunately, if family doesn't seem tuh show you that, well, then you do have tuh set up boundaries, and it hurts, like, h-e-l-l, because then you'll start to, when you stop reaching out as much, well, then you'll start seeing that your relationship becomes even more distant, but you can't constantly break your back tuh try tuh make relationships.
DOUG NOTES THAT THEY EITHER STEP UP OR DON'T, AND THAT’S WHERE IT LANDS.
JAMIE CONTINUES: Yeah, but from what, from my experience, from what we've experienced, you know, no one really steps up, and it's pretty evident when you start, when you realize you have tuh make a boundary with a person, like, just know in your heart that it's gonna hurt, like, you know, and I'm sure that we're, I'm not the only person going through this, and that's, I think, why it's important tuh share, is that, you know, because it's hard tuh share these things.
It's embarrassing. It's, I feel, it's almost, like, belittling. It's like, like, you know, it's like you're, you're sharing that you're rejected, essentially.
Who wants tuh share that? Like, who wants tuh admit that? But the truth is, is that we all have been there, and so I think that the biggest way tuh heal, and what I've learned is, of course, tuh find, to, like, lean in on the people who don't, like, desert you, betray you, talk behind your back.
I mean, that's the thing, is people who also, who are there, but they're really, like, kind of a snake in disguise, and, like, it's, like, like, they, it seems like they're there for you, but then behind, but you're walking on eggshells around them, because you know that they're saying things behind your back, and that's not, that's not healthy either, and so what I've really tried tuh do is really just focus on people that have really just been loving and nurturing, and the more people are loving and nurturing tuh me, whether they're family or not, the more I will lead, like, reach into them, and...
DOUG BUSTS IN TO TAKE A "QUICK PAUSE" FOR AN AD, IRONICALLY ABOUT INVESTING AND GOOD FINANCIAL HYGEINE.
JAMIE GETS RIGHT BACK TO IT: Of course, holidays and birthdays are tough because like you want like my mom like I mean forget it but like I love her and she's doing the best she can but like you know it's like I don't know I guess it's because I'm pregnant and then like when you become a mom and you just think about this relationship and it's like I just have always wanted that relationship with my mom and of course I know real like logically it's not gonna happen but anyways it's um it's just hard but anyways what I was trying tuh say tuh you though listening is like if you're going through this type of situation like just know that you're doing the right thing by kind of putting the boundaries up and then kind of you know you got tuh focus on gratitude more than anything else and so I consistently try tuh remind myself tuh be thankful that I am alive I'm able tuh be there for my kids my son has no idea who remembered and who forgot his birthday but of course he knows who he talked tuh but like you know I, I know that he had the most spectacular day yesterday and I made darn well sure of it and it literally cost me like zero dollars tuh it's not like it has tuh be expensive it wasn't extravagant we went tuh the library which is free and then we went tuh a free splash pad that's in our city and slash playground yeah, yeah and he had a great time so it's like people it's because the other thing people say well if you can afford tuh give them that it's like it doesn't you can find ways tuh live tuh like really bless your family and your kids without having tuh spend boatloads of money um but the biggest message and takeaway of this all and I guess of like I we never planned on sharing any of this we were planning on sharing about mother's day and
DOUG DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT tuh SAY, BUT SHE NEEDS tuh KNOW HOW PROUD HE IS OF HER, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH …
SHE THANKS HIM QUICKLY AND THEN GETS ON WITH HIS always getting by my side and like when I'm thankful for you when I started you know going tuh therapy and, and I mean forever ago I'm telling you forever ago when we were first married and I first started going tuh a therapist outside of married at first sight she told me she looked me in the eyes and she said Jamie like they might be family but they're not your people and you gotta go find your people and I didn't want tuh believe her I didn't want I literally just said you know thanks but no thanks essentially and I'm gonna try my best tuh turn this family into mine because I want this connection and I want this and I wish I could have saved myself all those years by just listening tuh her and you know finding my own people who, who do love and support me for who I am who I don't have tuh like I can just don't have tuh walk on eggshells I don't have tuh try tuh be anybody else I can just be myself and they'll see like the good in that and they'll like it you know and, and not everyone's for everyone and that's okay and I just try tuh remind myself that but anyways um yeah you've always stood by my side so thank you I see you I'll always be by your side I just like sometimes doubt like if like you know like, like, like what have I done like am I a bad person like did I like what have I done this has nothing
DOUG NOTES THAT THEY'D FIND PEOPLE "DOWN HERE" IN FLORIDA, AND THAT THEY BOTH KNEW IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, THAT REALLY MEANINGFUL BONDS TAKE TIME, BUT THEY ARE IN THE BEST POSSIBLE POSITION TO BUILD A COMMUNITY AND MAKE STRONG FRIENDS THEY CONSIDER TO BE FAMILY, AMAZING PEOPLE, AND THERE ARE KIDS TOO, AND THEY CAN WATCH EVERYONE GROW UP TOGETHER … AND HE THINKS, "That's kind of the point of, of moving tuh Florida find community find our people and also find out you know who would be there with us and for us and …"
JAMIE BLASTS BACK: It has nothing tuh do with you or who you are well the truth is, is obviously it does because these people don't enjoy being around me so then therefore they don't enjoy remembering our kids and or me whatever I guess I think I'm just really hormonal and emotional but I guess I just feel incredibly rejected and like I've done something wrong but I also know at the same exact breath that this has been happening for years and years and years where I've really
DOUG NOTES JAMIE HAS "TRIED SO HARD" AND THAT IT'S NOTHING THAT SHE DID.
JAMIE BLATHERS BACK THAT IT'S NOT REALLY THAT THEY'VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG, BUT … we just don't jive and I guess you know we have different we're different people and we can't force it yeah and so there's very little control that we have over it other than us being us yeah and so but you know but I guess this is like the healing part that everyone talks about with boundaries that's so painful like it's so painful because when you want something so bad and like I think it's like wired in me because it's family and like I really want tuh support family and love family and be there for them and but then it's like but it's just not there in return and you could just spend your whole life searching for it and or you could kind of put up a boundary and, and stop allowing that tuh continue tuh hurt you and find people who are genuinely happy tuh be around you and so needless tuh say for those of you listening if - if you're in this boat with someone whether it's parents siblings aunts uncles cousins I don't know or even long-time friends who you think are quote-unquote friends but you know things change or who knows I mean it's so darn hurtful but I really believe at the end of the day that I mean I was I spent years and years and years trying my darnedest and now I'm like if I, If I could give like an inkling of that effort tuh someone who gives an inkling of the effort back tuh me like the just the joy and happiness that could come from that or just like the stability and also like I did try changing myself tuh kind of be more like them tuh have more in common with them and it just I can tell you right now if you're trying tuh do that that's not gonna work either like it's hard unfortunately you just gotta be yourself in this world you gotta love with your whole heart and, and be selfless you know you can't expect people tuh just care about you if you don't care about them of course you gotta show up for people you gotta really like put yourself out there for them but if you consistently do that and you're not getting any of it in return you gotta change your path and it's the hardest thing in the world tuh do but you know tuh be very, very honest like going tuh bed with Doug last night after Son's birthday and like just everything that went down and whatnot I was just like and this is why we live in Florida this is why we moved here because this this served our core family more so than trying tuh fit a round peg into a square everyone else's schedule and everybody else's lives it's just you know and it's and I'm incredibly thankful tuh your sister and tuh your mom and your dad of course because they did reach out and that's just really, really kind like they called and they just show that they really care and that really means the whole wide world tuh me and like regardless of what they think of me like they love our kids and that's really all that
DOUG NOTES WHAT MATTERS IS-AND MAYBE THEY NEED TO BELIEVE IN SOME KIND OF "HIGHER PURPOSE," BUT HE DOESN'T CONSIDER IT ALL "WASTED TIME OR ENERGY," AND THAT IT MAYBE HAPPENED THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AND FOR JAMIE TO GIVE …
AND SHE CUTS HIM OFF TO SAY THAT THIS MESSAGE CAN help others. I've really kind of like avoided being this vulnerable lately because I feel like there are some people who just really don't like me and it's been brought tuh my attention and just no matter what I do they really don't like me and I guess like everybody has quote-unquote haters but it hurts my heart a little bit and I don't know but, but the truth is, is like just like I said before what I learned in this the certain boundaries that I've talked about before is that you really can't change who you are in the hopes that people will start tuh approve of you because they're never like the people who just choose that they don't like you and they just choose tuh find your faults will always like they will always see your faults and they will always yeah there's no convincing them otherwise and that's and if you're listening tuh this like this is the truth for all of us is that when you're looking for the good in life you're gonna find the good and you can focus on that and try tuh get like more of that and garner more of that but if you're focused on the negative whether it's in life or with your spouse or with a friend or at the workplace you're gonna find that and so if so sometimes if you've you know if you see that you're consistently feeling like you have quote-unquote bad luck or that this person's being wrong tuh you or they're not caring about you will try tuh think about the good that they do and, and, and so truly like for me with these whole boundary things like I've tried just I tried tuh kind of I've already tried that with some of these family members that just don't seem tuh care and um and, and so that's and then that's when the hurt comes is you know when you realize oh yeah you're actually all right and you are onto something and for whatever reason their life isn't aligning with yours and it's and that's okay but it doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt a little bit for the person who like wants it tuh be there but that's when you go out and find someone who wants tuh align their life with you or maybe their life already aligns and they just and you can serve each other you can love each other you can be there for each other and whether it's blood related or not like that will serve you better in life and so that's kind of where I think Doug and I are right now um but also for, for you listening if, if you're just finding yourself in this situation too just try tuh make sure you're not just trying tuh find the fault in someone because you don't want tuh get caught in that rabbit hole and there are people out there who just want tuh find the negative and then there are people out there who cut that down like don't allow that tuh happen tuh yourself because you will be miserable your whole life hating on someone else and just constantly finding their faults and constantly complaining about them is never going tuh bring you true happiness it really isn't and so think about you know yourself and like what you can do differently and try tuh bring the positive and so yeah I haven't been as vulnerable lately because it's been hard tuh be very honest tuh just share like my heart and then people are just going tuh attack me for it you know I'm sure but um but my goal in sharing this if we end up sharing this is that it helps the one person out there or I'm sure several really who are in the same exact boat who are you know trying tuh keep a friend that they've had forever but that friend's just not there or trying tuh maintain a relationship with one of your parents or your siblings or it shouldn't be hard it shouldn't be and you shouldn't have tuh change who you are and if you do then that's really just not the right person for you and, and you can talk tuh them about it of course and then if they're just combative, at the end of the day, I just say the best advice is find a therapist, and this book called Boundaries, and it's a little religious, and also a little kind of like, whoa, but I'm telling you, Chapter One, just give it – if you don’t' like it after that, don't even try, but like Chapter One, I was like, wow, I can see so much of myself in this, and I can see how could change, and I've got tuh promise you that it's been hurt along the way, but I have – we have, and our family has more positive days now than stressful, trying tuh like pull people in who don't really want tuh be there, trying tuh help them remember because they're gonna forget, like it's just – like yesterday was like the least stressful day ever, and we didn't have one person coming tuh our – or even Mother's Day, it was just us four, and you know, before I had kids, and I think – I saw someone else write this, but like before I had kids, I looked at the world as like everyone I encountered, and how can I be helpful tuh them, and that – like, but now it's like my world is my husband and my children. My world is within my four walls, and how do I love them and support them the best that I possible can, tuh help them become good – eventually like good husbands, a good wife, good mothers, good fathers, and good, good family members, and so …
DOUG IS SO PROUD OF HER AND THINKS SHE SHOULD ALSO BE PROUD OF HERSELF BECAUSE OF "HOW MUCH YOU HAVE GROWN FROM PEOPLE STARTING TO COMMENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, AND YOU TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK OVER TO YOUR SIDE TO RECOGNIZING THE TOXICITY OF IT, AND SETTING BOUNDARIES." HE HAS TO TELL HER THAT IN THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, SHE HAS "SPREAD MORE POSITIVITY, IN MY MIND, THAN ANYBODY, FOCUSING ON BEING THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL," AND A MESSAGE SHE IS PASSING ONTO THE KIDS WHO ARE REALLY STARTING tuh THINK ABOUT IT AND FOCUS ON IT, AND IT'S "DRIVEN BY YOU."
MORE RASPY WHINY TEARY VOICE: Oh, Gosh, Doug's that's the nicest comment that I could have ever received because I really want that for them … yeah, because I – because we could all fall into that where you see the negative and you just kind of focus on that, and I'm trying so hard not to, and tuh just – you know, pray more, and even meditate, and that has nothing tuh do with prayer, but like just rewire my brain tuh like the positive things and finding the positive and helping others, also because – honestly, and I want tuh raise my kid where they are not seeing the negative, they're seeing the positive in situations because life, regardless of who loves you, how much money you have, what home you live in, what car you drive, life is so much better when you're able tuh see the positive and you're able to, like lean into that more, and you're able tuh then attract people who are like that, and the Negative Nellies are just going tuh always be there talking their smack about you, and that's fine, but like, if you can find the positive, you can focus on that, and you're going tuh have such a happier life, and the Negative Nellies, unfortunately, like I still pray for them, I still hope for them, because it's sad – like they're not living a happy life. You can't be a hater tuh all these people and be happy. It's sad.
DOUG THINKS THEY ARE "living proof of it, because once we started tuh focus on happy, once we started focusing on being thankful and grateful, the people that we attracted are the people that we would want tuh be with … didn't happen overnight, but as soon as we started tuh rethink that, and really try tuh be positive and do positive things, and our prayers and with the kids and being thankful and finding good, and gratitude, you know, we attracted people into our lives that, you know, are going tuh be there – I mean, I feel these are now lifelong friends, and you know, all of that was attracted, and there has got tuh be something tuh that."
THE END, THEY MUST GO PICK UP THEIR DAUGHTER BUT ONLY AFTER THE FIVE-STAR REVIEW AND THEN "SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!"
DELUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSIONAL – THE BOTH OF THEM! And according to the AI program Jamie talks more than 90 percent of the time, and Dud, hardly ever.

I don't know if this is the right sub but if someone can help me out here, that would be greatly appreciated.
I am a 17 year old, male living in BC, Canada. Recently, I find myself leaning more far right in terms of ideology and agreeing with a lot of misogynistic posts/viewpoints. I wouldn't consider myself to be a raging misogynist who thinks women shouldn't vote or that all women should be homemakers. But, seeing successful women online or in a happy place makes me miserable/vindictive. I hate that I feel this way. My mother's a cardiothoracic surgeon and my father's a neurologist and they are both quite successful. They are both progressive people and have a great marriage. Two days ago, I had an argument with my mother and said some pretty unsavory and straight up misogynistic shit. I feel horrible. She is the sweetest person ever and I can't believe I was such an asshole. I need to make changes or I fear I will end up a sad, miserable man devoid of all meaningful relationships.
I am trying to identify where this all started. I think it was probably during the covid period and with lockdowns, I become more and more online. If I don't have school, I am probably on my PC all day long. Spending too much time on twitter has probably hugely contributed to this. I am white and I see myself agreeing to a lot of racist and misogynistic posts online, liking them and engaging further. That place is a hate cesspool. My parents give me a lot of freedom and I don't have curfews or screen time restrictions. I have decided to restrict my screen time for non school stuff and delete twitter.
I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me and I absolutely want her to have just as much, if not more opportunities than me to succeed in life. How do I make the necessary changes? I feel like this is something I need to deal with on my own. I don't really want to go up to my parents and say, ' Hey, I have become a misogynistic asshole and most likely an incel as I am chronically online, can you pay for therapy and get me more help?'.

Hi, I literally made a reddit account just to post this lol so sorry if I do anything wrong. I (25F) recently got engaged to my boyfriend (25M) of one year. We’ve been together romantically for about a year, but I’ve never had a chance to meet his little sister (22F) until now. This is because she lives basically across the country. But he has a good relationship with her so obviously he wants her at the wedding, so he payed for her travel expenses and she came to where we live.
The day she was supposed to arrive, a guy showed up on our doorstep, and I assumed it was her boyfriend that fiancé hadn’t told me about or something. But no, it wasn’t, cuz it wasn’t a guy, it was HER. I literally could only tell cuz her voice, that’s how much she looks like a guy. She has a buzzcut, only wears guys clothes, and doesn’t even shave her body hair. Even her mannerisms were like a guy’s. And I’m not like some conservative who thinks women have to be feminine 24/7, but I’ve never met a girl like her in real life who’s NEVER feminine. I guess because of this I was sort of intimidated by her, even if she was friendly I didn’t know how to talk to her.
But despite my discomfort I wanted to get along with her cuz like I said she is legit nice and my fiancé loves her. So I invited her to go to the mall with me for a girls day, and she said yes. I thought this would make me feel less uncomfortable with her but if anything it made the feeling worse, we literally have NOTHING in common. Shes not into clothes, makeup, perfume, anything that all the girls I’m friends with are into. I wanted to get along with her but I just had no idea how to.
But what was really awful was when we were in the bathroom, and some old lady came in and thought SIL was a guy. She gently corrected the old lady (SIL had already been mistaken for a guy multiple times in the mall, it never bothered her), but the old lady didn’t believe her, I guess she thought she was trans or something? The old lady ended up kind of causing a scene and yelling awful stuff at SIL.
When we got home fiancé noticed SIL was pretty shaken and asked what happened, and she told him about it. From the way they were talking, this isn’t the first time she’s been harassed in a bathroom like this. And when she was telling him I couldn’t help but think that like…this wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t look like a boy.
Now here’s where I think I might be an asshole. I basically said this thought aloud, not with that exact wording though. I told her maybe she could avoid this upsetting stuff if she wore a bit of makeup or dressed up a bit. I even offered to teach her if she didn’t know (I really want her to wear makeup for the wedding anyway). This was apparently the wrong thing to say, both SIL and fiancé got mad at me, fiancé saying SIL shouldn’t have to change and that people should just know better. And like yeah that would be nice but it’s not how the world works. I explained this and the fact that I was just trying to look out for her, obviously she’s gonna be treated badly as a woman if she acts like a man, and learning simple skills like makeup could help her a lot. SIL was gonna stay overnight, but after hearing what I said left early.
Not much has happened since then except a phone call between my SIL and fiancé, where apparently she told him she wasn’t sure about coming to the wedding cuz she didn’t wanna “ruin it”. And when my fiancé told me this I felt bad, but also! She literally wouldn’t have to worry about “ruining it” if she just took my advice and was a bit more feminine! I’m not even asking her to drastically change her appearance, plenty of women have buzzcuts while also channeling their femininity, she just straight up looks like a boy! I told my fiancé this and he said I’m being a jerk. And ok maybe Im kind of being harsh about it, but I am legitimately concerned for her and don’t want her to hate herself or get harassed cuz she looks like a boy, and I do want her at my wedding but I don’t want her to feel like she’s standing out too much as a girl that looks like that.
Sorry this post was kind of word vomit like I said I’ve never posted on reddit and this is the first time Im actually talking about this situation with anyone. So AITA for giving my future SIL advice on being more feminine so she doesn’t get mistake for a boy???

I have been the care taker for my parents for 3 yrs. My mom has mild cognitive issues and my dad is 6'2 and has let him self physically weather away from his own neglect. My brother lives close but sees them once every 4 yrs and barely calls, I have 2 sisters who live far away and again barely visit. So I've been on my own for 3 yrs with my wife and kids. We live in a house they bought, they have a in law suite and we live in the house. They pay the mortgage, we take care of all bills, food, cell phone, cable take them to appointments, take care of their needs such as cutting their hair changing diapers, pick them off the ground when they fall, etc... Recently my dad had to go to the hospital for blood infection. I went from The Golden child for taking care of my parents to being reported by social services by my dad and sister. Shortly after I was disound from my father. Stating his loss all respect for me for how we have treated him and my mother. At the same time he has been told he can never go home and he has to go to a nursing facility 24/7. I very much feel I'm being the scapegoat. Cuz at the same time he is telling me that my mother will be staying with us at the house and I am to take care of her. But yet he still wants to disown me for how I treated them. My sister has told me her distaste for me for how we have treated and used my parents. But it went to a whole new level when we found out that she reported us to the office of aging for stealing from my mother, And that we don't pay rent. A lot of my sister's allegations are coming from my 85-year-old senile father. Just screaming information. He knows nothing about. So now I have office of aging looking into me, everyone but my mother has disowned me, and my whole world has been flipped upside down. There will be no fixing any of these relationships. I know that. Misery loves company I have been coming to Reddit to see that I'm not the only one with a s***** family going through chaos.

The gray wolf sits in the darkness. She looks back to see a blue crystal clock. The clock turns once and lands on one. One blue flame is lit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuZbmLLv1vM

As the moon started to set on the city, the sun started to rise from behind the mountains. A cool brezze flower through Mk’s window; waking him up. He lifts himself up in his sleepy state and looks around, seeing that it was early morning. 

“It’s seven? Might as well get up now.” He got up from bed and walked over to his window. He looked outside to see the moon out while the sun was still rising. “Oh cool. The moon is still out.”

Mk walks out the door and get’s in his car. He drives to the mountain. Once he arrives at the mountain, he walks up the stairs to Monkie King’s (Sun Wukong) training dojo. 

“Monkie King? Are you here?” Mk looked around and didn’t see Monkie King anywhere. “That’s strange…. He said he would be here.”
“And I am”, Sun said from behind Mk. Mk jumped and said, “Don’t do that!”
“Sorry, Sorry”, Sun said. “Ready for training?” Before Sun could take another step, he heard Mk’s bag ball to the ground. He looks back and sees Mk about to attack. “Guss that means yes.” Sun got into his fighting stance and started training in an instant. Mk and Sun continue to fight until Mk stands victorious.
“Yes!”
“Your getting better”, Sun said, picking himself up. He brushed off the dust and dirt from his clothes. “And your powers are getting stronger.”
“Maybe, but they’re not as powerful as you”, Mk says, giving praise to his teacher. Before Sun could say anything else, a crash could be heard from the city below.
“Not again….!”

My jumps down from building to building until he sees a huge demon roaring. 

“Oh come on…. Another demon”, Mk says in annoyance. Before he could act, a shadow figure enveloped by the sun jumps down and lands on a nearby building. They look up at the demon.
“This is gonna be fun.” The gray wolf raises her arm to the side of her and summons a claw-like weapon. “Now it’s time to go back to where you belong!” She jumps up and lands on one of the demon's extra arms and runs up to its face. The demon tries to shake her off, but the gray wolf jumps onto a nearby building and looks down on the demon. She jumps down once again and claws the demon’s face. From the impact of the blow, the wolf jumps up to the same building she was on before; her feet sliding against the roof. The demon roars in pain and agony until it disappears into the shadows. Magic surrounds the wolf’s claw-like weapon and it vanishes. “And that is how it’s done.”
“Wow, Monkie King, that was–”, Before Mk could say another word, he falls back. The gray wolf, wearied out by the situation, tries to walk away, but Mk reapers in front of her and says, “That was amazing Monk– O-Oh, your not Monkie King.” The gray toned wolf blinked a few times and then chuckled.
“Clearly.” The gray wolf looks at Mk’s staff and realized that the staff belong to Monkie King. She thinks, “How does he have Sun’s staff? He must be his apprentice.” She gathered her words and said, “You must be Monkie King’s apprentice. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“You have”, Mk asks.
“Yes. You're the talk of the celestial realm as of late”, The wolf says. She starts to walk away and says, “I’ll see you around, Mk.” Mk looked back at the mountain and then back at the wolf walking away. He looks at his staff and runs up to the wolf.
“Can you teach me that move”, Mk asks, his eyes growing big like a puppy. The wolf looks down and smiles. She then looks back up at Mk and says, “I’m sorry. I can’t. You already have a teacher. You shouldn’t go behind his back.”
“Oh… well, will I see you again”, Mk asked. The wolf looked back and smiled, then said, “Maybe one day.”
“When?”
“Let fate decide.”

“She what?” 

“She killed the demon on her own”, Mk explained to Mai. “I think she was from the Celestial Realm.”
“What did she look like”, Mai asked.
“She was gray toned and she had a pendant that looked like the moon”, Mk described. “She had gold eyes too.” Sun almost dropped the scroll he was reading and looked away. He could feel a bead of sweat running down his face.
“Hey, Monkie King, do you know who she is”, Mk asked.
“I-I have no idea who she is”, Sun said, acting ignorant. “And IF she was from the celestial realm, she wouldn’t have come down here. Beings from the Celestial realm don’t travel to Earth.” As Sun went back to reading his scroll, a bright blue light caught the side of his eye. The trio looked over and saw a blue lit portal.
“What the?” Mk walks over to the portal and puts his hand through. He goes to pull his hand back out, but the force of the portal pulls him in.
“Mk!” Mie and Sun try to pull Mk out of the portal but they all get pulled in.

A portal appears in the celestial realm and Mk falls from above. He hits the ground. He rubs the back of his head and looks around. 

“Is this… the celestial realm?”
“Mk?” Mk looks back to see the gray wolf looking at him from above. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s you again”, Mk says. “Am I in the celestial realm?
“You are”, the gray wolf says. “But right now, you're in the celestial forest. This is my domain.”
“I’m not here alone”, Mk says. “My friends are here too.”
“Your friends? Does that mean Monkie King is here too”, the wolf asks.
“Yes.” The wolf looks around for a moment and says, “Alright. I’ll help you find your friends. Follow me.”

Mk follows the gray wolf into the forest. Leaves the color yellow and gold fell to the ground. The yellow grass flows as the two walk. 

“Do you live here”, Mk asks.
“Indeed, I do”, the wolf says. “I am this domain's protector among all things.”
“Really?”
“Yes. do you know what an embodiment is”, the wolf asks.
“No”, Mk answered.
“Well, an embodiment is in charge of keeping balance in three places”, the wolf continues, “The celestial realm. Earth. And the lunar realm. There are many embodiments have different responsibilities for what they are named for.”
“So what’s yours”, Mk curiously asks.
“I am the embodiment of Luck and misfortune”, the wolf answers. She looks back and says, “We found them.” Mk looks down and runs over to Sun and Mai.
“Monkie King! Mei!”
“Mk!”
“Thank goodness you're alright”, Sun says. “How did you find us?”
“She helped me.” Sun looks up and sees the gray wolf looking down on him. Sun’s face turned somewhat not convinced and said, “So you came out of hiding, huh?”
“What are you talking about”, the wolf says. “I keep on the low because I don’t like to make a scene.”
“And look at what you did back on earth.”
“Mad that you didn’t kill a demon?” Mai and Mk look at each other and ask in unison, “Do you two know each other?” Sun and the wolf looked at each other for a moment.
“I will slap you, Sun”, the wolf murmured. Sun sighs and says, “She’s my sister.” Mei and Mk looked at both Sun and the wolf and said in unison and surprise, “WHAT?!”
“Yup, I’m his sister”, the wolf days.
“Little sister”, Sun clarified.
“You two don’t look related”, Mei pointed out.
“She looks more like our father and I look more like our mother”, Sun says.
“How did you even get here”, the wolf asked. “Last I checked, the only way to get up here is through the celestial gate.”
“A portal pulled us in here”, Mei said.
“Ah, I see”, the wolf said. “Those would be realm portals. They tend to pop up every now and then.”
“Can you get us home”, Mk asked.
“Well, you can’t go through the celestial gate”, the wolf said. “But there is a way to get you all back on earth. Follow me.” The wolf leads the trio to a wall. The wolf waves her hands in the shape of a moon and a portal opens. “There you go: one portal back to Earth.”
“Thank you”, Mei says. She runs over to the portal and goes through. Sun does the same.
“I guess I’ll see you soon, Mk”, the wolf said. As Mk was about to walk through the portal, he stops, turns around and asks, “What’s your name?” The gray wolf looked at Mk for a moment and smiled.
“Mischief. Mischief Wukong”, she said. Mk smiled and said while waving his arm, “I’ll see you soon, Mischief!” Mk runs through the portal while Mischief waves goodbye. Mischief, the gray wolf, looked at the wall for a moment and then walked back to her home. While she walked, a blue light whispered into her ear.
He’s the one….

Two young cheetah girls run to the front of a traditional, yet modern, Chinese house supported by a platform. 

“Do you think she’s here”, one of them asks.
“I don’t see her”, the other said. From the right side of the building, Mischief opens a sliding door. The twins smile and say, “Mischief”, In unison. Mischief looks over and smiles when she sees Clock Wise and Wise Clock.
“Hello you two”, she says, walking down the steps to the fence where the twins hunh off. “What brings you here?”
“We were playing in the forest, but we found something”, Clock Wise said.
“What is it”, Mischief asked.
“We don’t know”, Wise Clock answered. “But it was black, and it was covering the mushrooms and trees.”
“Black? Can you take me to where you saw it”, Mischief asked. Clock Wise and Wise Clock take Mischief’s hands and lead her into the west of the forest. Clock wise and Wise Clock point over to the tree covered in the black substance. Mischief walks over to the black covered tree and leans down on one knee. She looks at the black substance and her blood runs cold.
“Mischief? What is it?”
“Clock Wise. Wise Clock. Go home and don’y come back until I tell you it’s safe”, Mischief says. Clock Wise and Wise Clock nod their hands and run back to their home. Mischief gets up and summons her claw-like weapon. Black-like mist rolls in and stops at the infected tree. Mischief walks to the right side of the tree and yells, “Show yourself! You are in the domain of luck and misfortune!” Mischief stood in her defensive stance waiting for a attack. She narrows her eyes in agitation; her pupils becoming slits.
“So it is you. At last we meet again, Embodiment of Luck and Misfortune.” Mischief’s hair stood as she slowly looked behind her to see a bug-like demon smiling demonically at her. Mischief’s point-of-view goes dark.

The moon from above started to disappear from the rain clouds rolling in. Its brilliant light slowly becomes nothing but a dark shadow. Tang looked up at the sky as the rain started to come down. 

“I don’t think It’s gonna stop raining”, Tang says, walking back inside.
“I don’t remember the forecast saying it would rain today”, Pigsy pointed out.
“Well, what can you do”, Mei said. She looked over at Mk, looking up at the sky. She walks over to him and asks, “Are you still thinking about Mischief?”
“I don’t know why, but when I looked at her, it looked like she was in pain”, Mk said. He looks over at Sun and asks, “How come you never told me you had a sister?”
“You never asked”, Sun said. “And Mischief doesn’t associate with anyone outside her domain.”
“Right….” Mk looked out into the rain and saw a person walking to the entrance gate. But the person wasn’t normal. They had wolf-like ears and a wolf-like tale. A thunderbolt struck through the sky and showed Mischief hurt and beaten. Mischief looks up with her gold eyes as the lightning strikes through the sky and she mouths, “Help me….” Mischief falls to the ground. Mk and the others run over and help Mischief into the sanctuary. They lay Mischief up ugenst a wall.
“Mischief, What happened”, Mk asks with concern.
“He’s back….”
“Who”, Sun asked.
“The demon king”, Mischief answered in a hurt voice. “He’s the king of all demons on Earth and hell.” Mischief lifts herself up and walks over to the opening. “The embodiment of harmony banished him to the Lunar realm.”
“How did he get out”, Tang asks.
“I don’t know”, Mischief says. “He shouldn’t have been able to escape. He’s in the celestial realm, trying to destroy it.”
“Why?”
“Revenge, Sun”, Mischief says in annoyance. “He wants to destroy the celestial realm for what the embodiment of Harmony did. Mk, Sun, you two are the only ones who can destroy him.” Mk looks at Sun and says, “We have to go.”
“Mk, I don’t think this is–”, Before Sun could say another word, Mk interrupted and said, “This is your home we’re talking about! Mischief can't fight The Demon King. We have to.” Sun looks at Mk and then Mischief. He could see a lost and conflicted look on her face. He knew how much Mischief dedicated her life to protect the celestial realm. It was her home. It was his home too. He wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to the celestial realm. Sun sighed and said, “Alright. Me and Mk will deal with The Demon King.”
“I can take you to the celestial realm”, Mischief says. She takes one step but holds her arm in pain. Tang and Pigsy held Mischief up to her feet. “I’m fine. I can still lead you there.”
“No, you can’t”, Sun says. “Stay here and rest. We have more than one way to get to the celestial realm.”
“I’ll go with you”, Mei says.
“Be careful”, Mischief says. Sun looks at Mischief and puts his forehead to hers.
“I promise, I’ll come back”, Sun said. He looked at Mischief one last time before creating his cloud. Mk and Mei jump on and the three of them fly to the celestial realm.
“Please be safe…”
“They’ll be fine, Mischief”, Sandy says. Mischief looks up into the sky and thinks, “I hope you're right.”

The trio fly down to the ground and look around to see the trees and ground in a darken state. The trees were nothing more than shadow, and the ground was a dark shade of purple. 

“What happened here”, Mk wondered.
“I’m not sure”, Sun responded. “But this isn’t Mischief domain anymore. It’s not supposed to be like this.” Mei looks over and sees a trail of darkness leading to the upper side of the forest.
“Looks like the dark energy is going upward”, Mei says, pointing to the upper forest.
“Then let’s not waste any time”, Mk says.

The trio make it up to the forest edge and look around. Sun and Mk’s hair stands. They look behind them and see three glowing red eyes looking at them. Mei looks back to see Sun and Mk in a worried state. 

“You two alright?” Mei looked in their direction and saw a red face. The demon growled and charged up the hill.
“Run!” The trio run to the open hill. The Demon King whips one of his tales around and hits the trio back into the forest. Mei hits the ground while Sun and Mk both hit trees. Mk looks up and sees Sun in pain.
“So that useless embodiment sent you here”, The Demon King said, a demonic laughter following after. Mk lifts himself up and takes out his staff. The Demon King looks down at Mk and says, “The staff of Ra? Oh you have got to be kidding m–” Mk jumps up to The Demon King’s face and hits the top of his head. The Demon King holds his head in pain.
“What in infernos throne?!” Mk hits The Demon King back and he falls on his side. Mk goes for the finishing blow when The Demon King uses his over sized claws to pin him to the ground. “I have faced warlords, kings, and gods, and this is what I face? To think you could have been more than what you are now.”
“MK!”
“Mischief?” Mk gets up with what little strength he has left and looks up to see Mischief ghost-like rendition. “H-How? Are you dead?” Mischief rolls her eyes and shops the top of Mk’s head.
“I’m not dead”, Mischief exclaims. “It's an astral projection.”
“O-Oh.” Mischief looks to the left and snaps her head up to see The Demon King.
“Is that The Demon King? He wasn’t this big when I saw him”, Mischief says.
“I thought you fought him like this”, Mk said.
“No”, Mischief exclaimed. The ground from below starts to rumble. “There’s not much time. Mk, I can give you my power for a short amount of time, but you have to make the last strike count.”
“Are you sure?”
“You're more powerful than you think. If you can master Monkie King’s power, then you can handle mine”, Mischief says, holding Mk’s hands in her own. She lets go of his hands and takes a few steps back and moves her hands in the kanji moon. “Your will becomes strength, and my will becomes your power.” Blue and silver magic flows into Mk’s being. His staff turned blue. Mk’s eyes glow a brilliant blue and he looks up at The Demon King. “Now, Finish him off!!!” The Demon King looks down in confusion and sees Mk covered in a blue mist like magic.
“What?!” Mk jumps up and punches The Demon King multiple times and pins him down to the ground.
“This ends now!!!” Mk dashes down and destroys The Demon King in one strike. The Demon King looks over to Mk in a weakened state and thinks, “So the moon has chosen their champion…..” Mk lands on the ground and holds his head. The blue and silver magic flies off of Mk and returns to Mischief’s astral form.
“You did well”, Mischief said. She looks up and sees the sky start to become a light blue. She smiles and says, “Thank you, Monkie Kid. I'll see you back on Earth.” With that said, Mischief’s astral projection fades away.
“Mk!” Mk looks back to see Sun and Mei run up to him.
“Are you two okay”, Mk asks.
“Aside from the hurting back, I think we’re good”, Sun says.
“You fought The Demon King without me”, Mei projects.
“Sorry”, Mk continued, “It was happening so fast that I didn’t really think.”
“At Least The Demon King is gone”, Sun says. “Let’s go home.”

Sun raps up the last of Mischief cuts. 

“That should do it”, Sun says.
“Mischief, is there a reason you where on earth”, Mk asked.
“Yeah, I was wondering that too”, Sun says. “You never leave your domain unless it’s to see the council of balance.” Mischief looks away and sighs.
“Well, Since you did save the celestial realm, you deserve to know why I was on Earth”, Mischief says. “I didn’t come to earth to fight a demon. That day, when we met, I was looking for an apprentice.” Sun blinks a few times and says, “An apprentice? Are you sure The Demon King didn’t knock your brains loss?”
“I mean it, Sun”, Mischief says. “I was going to travel outside the city, but when I saw you, Mk, your power was far more powerful than I thought. Mk, I have chosen you to be my apprentice.”
“Hold Up!” Sun hugs Mk in a protective manner and says, “You are not taking Mk to the celestial realm! And plus, Mk already has a mentor: Me.” Mischief rolls her eyes, pushes Sun’s nose and says, “I don’t plan on taking Mk to the celestial realm, you goof. I plan on staying here on earth and at night, I will train Mk. And plus, the celestial realm has gotten a bit stale. You have room for one more?”

Mk’s hand glows a soft red from magic. Mischief’s crest appears and hovers on Mk’s back. Once the spell is done, the crest fades away. 

“That’s it? Mk is your apprentice now”, Mei asks.
“Yes”, Mischief says. “He is now my apprentice. What were you expecting?”
“A light show”, Mei answers.
“ Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Are you sure you're okay with this, Monkie King”, Mk asks, holding his right hand with his left.
“I’m cool”, Sun says.
“Don’t you mean hot”, Mischief teased. She laughed and Sun chased after her.

A being covered in shadows and mist looks at several maps with multiple dates on the top left corner. A red light whispers in the beings leopard ear. The being laughs and says, “So she’s finally chosen an apprentice. This changes nothing. I will have my revenge, and the moon will pay for what she did to me.” 

Here is the first chapter of Monkie Kid: Animal Fury. After seeing the fifth trailer of Monkie Kid season 5, I gave me the boost I needed to work on my AU story.
Monkie Kid: Animal Fury takes place in between season 1, and 2 of Monkie Kid.
Summary: As the journey begins, Mk meets Mischief, the little sister of Monkie King, Sun Wukong and their fate become intertwined.

I have suffered from so much in life despite being such a good person. From being sexually abused growing up, to having drug addict parents, to relationship abuse, to having cancer, to fertility issues. I just am so tired of being strong. I feel like I’ve failed in life over n over again from the people who are supposed to protect me and love me failing me, to people I trust failing me, my body failing me over n over. I just don’t understand what I did to deserve even half of any of this. Now I feel so stuck in my marriage that obviously is only one sided n the pain of it is killing me. I grew up with my mom being an addict and always picking men and drugs over her kids. I remember walking in and finding her multiple times trying to commit suicide. I remember days leading up to it she would tell me things like if you ever see someone swallow pill bottles this is what you need to do and etc, so clearly she wanted me to be the one to find her. Or if someone cuts their wrist this is what you do n ofcourse not long after I find her. The first time was when I was barely 11. I remember her showing up to my grandmas beyond high starting Shìt and causing problems. Some may say great your grandparents were there but was that really great when they knew you were being sexually abused by your cousins and uncles n did nothing about it? To being kicked out of your grandparents at 13 still a Virgin but because your older brother told them you were the one having sex when it was really him and your bestfriend? And being sent to live with your mom and her addict abusive boyfriend where he would hit you if you scratched your leg n he swore you did it cause you had an attitude. Where you finally got away and went with your dad who was to busy doing illegal things to care who left you with his wife and your abusive older sister (14 yr age gap) who would hit you throw things at you call you nasty names and so much more just because they could and if you said anything to your dad it was an issue and it would just get worse when he left again? Then you finally grow up and can get out. Then you finally meet someone n you think it’s gonna be so great n it is for so long n you help them build there life up you help him raise his son since he was 3 you help him get to be a pro athlete he is making money now and starts to change starts treating you however he wants cheating doing whatever you continue to stay like an idiot. You continue to be a great wife and mother because really your whole life that’s all you wanted. 3 years go by and you get pregnant you end up losing the baby and almost dying. You guys keep trying and Miscarrying a few times. You guys decide to see a doctor and find out he has a slightly low count. But the doctors say everything on you looks perfect. You guys do IUI with no luck, medicated cycles everything fails. He promises to start Ivf and you plan all the doctors visit and get started. Then right before you started last year you find out that he got someone else pregnant. You guys have been together 7yrs now. He had known for a few months and when you went to visit your family he tells you not to come home and he treated you like Shìt and acted like you were in the wrong. Taking all your belongings. Through her pregnancy you find out you have cancer. You guys choose to get back together n one of the biggest things was that you guys would do IVF. The baby is now 9months and you’ve been helping raise him like your own and still just being a great wife and mother. Ivf i has been months of planning and you were set to start this week already got the medication and everything. Just have to pay the last few payments. Found out last month that we have some IRS issues and more money needs to be paid than thought but he still claimed the money was there. Well it’s a few days away n now all of a sudden everything is an issue and it seems like he got my hopes up just to get me here for him to not want any of it. I feel taken advantage of and used and now on top of how worthless I feel because of my body and my life I feel like I don’t want to be here at all. I have contemplated suicide over n over n I just can’t because I remember that feeling of finding my mom and I don’t want anyone else to feel even close to how she made me feel… but man I really just don’t want to be around anymore I have so much pain inside me. I’ve done therapy and just don’t feel like anything is giving me relief.

I (45 f) have one daughter (18) and no grandchildren.
My boyfriend’s best friend, Andy, started dating a single mom, Jessica, with a 2 year old (Karla) about 2 years ago. Right after they started dating her mom had issues with her regular sitter and even though I work full time, I volunteered to keep Karla on my 2 week days off. I like Karla a lot and if I have errands to run I just take her with me. She’s a typical child, but I didn’t and don’t mind planning my things around her. She’s neither exceptionally well-behaved nor a terror. On the rare occasion that I can’t take her (like a doctor’s appointment), I leave her with my teenage daughter or in a pinch bf will come home from work and watch her until I get home. Now that she’s in preschool, I usually pick her up at noon on my days off because they do school work in the morning. On days I don’t pick her up she stays in aftercare until 5:30 when her mom gets off of work.
Jessica’s sister left her husband and has gone to work for the first time since her 3 year old was born. The three year old is attending the same preschool as Karla and also generally stays in after care until her mom gets off work. I don’t really know her sister or niece except for having seen them at birthday parties and stuff like that. From what I have seen she was never a well-behaved child. Whining, crying, fit throwing when told no, demanding (walks up to her mom and says, “Fill my cup.” And mom does it.), hitting adults and other children, biting, snatching things from other children. None of this corrected by her mom who shrugs and says, “She’s an only child.” Jessica mentioned that her niece is having a difficult time adjusting and has been worse than typical for her and is now refusing to use the potty and is wetting herself again and is back in pull-ups. It’s all very understandable because she’s 3 and has gone through a ton of life changes.
Without talking to me they promised both girls I’d pick them up if the 3 year old goes all day at school (so from 7:30 until noon) without an accident and tells the school that as well. This literally gets sprung on me in the car pick up line. I only had one car seat so I take Karla as planned, leave the other child to finish her school day and call Jessica as soon as I get home. She hadn’t thought about the car seat thing.
When Jessica picked Karla up I explained to her that while I love children, I only like having 1 child at a time. (That’s why I only had 1). I enjoy spending time with Karla but have no intention regularly taking both girls. I was as polite as I could be in an awkward situation, but left no doubt that I’m not watching a 3 year old and a 4 year old on a regular or semi regular basis, and it is definitely not okay to spring it on me without talking to me. Jessica seemed to understand.
Andy called bf and said that they decided that instead of taking Karla 2 afternoons a week that I should take one day to rest with no kids and have both girls the other, or take 1 child each afternoon. I took the phone from bf and explained (again) that I am absolutely not keeping both girls any day of the week and that I’m not keeping Jessica’s niece at all. Andy said he thought I was a nicer, more understanding person and can’t believe how heartless I am being towards Jessica’s sister and niece, who are having a really hard time right now. He also said that they’ve decided that I can’t take just Karla. The girls are now a package deal and I have to do for both of them or neither.
Now Andy and Jessica are boarder line rude to me at social functions and they have told Karla that I’m too busy to pick her up from school.
Am I the asshole because I don’t want to babysit a random poorly behaved 3 year old?

Pa, tinanong ko kayo ni mama kaso di nyo ko masagot pero alam ko. Alam ko may anak ka sa labas, alam ko may kapatid kami pero dahil sa respeto ko sa nararamdaman nyo at kay mama pinili ko manahimik at di sya kausapin.
I have this vivid memory of when I was still a child. We were at the office of my aunt when someone came in with a lady whose face I couldn’t remember. When she entered, I thought about how shyly the little girl peaked behind her. She approached us, then the lady nudged her child towards my dad and said, “ mano ka sa papa mo”. Me, being a daddy’s girl, got mad. Why is she calling him papa?
Years later, during our family reunion, a cousin of mine who was years older than me slipped and asked my aunt, “kamusta na kaya anak ni _____”. They didn't know my 7-year-old self heard them.
When I grew older, people who knew would occasionally tell me about my sister. Apparently it’s an open secret within the clan; I wondered who and where she was. Then I stumbled on her Facebook profile; we do not look alike. But somehow, I knew that she was the sister they were talking about.
She grew up into a fine woman, already happily married, and was surprised that she was only months older than me. Did my dad cheat? Why did he leave them? I wanted to get angry, but the Lord knows I can never get angry. I probed more, checking if there were any similarities. I was curious to know her life but somehow relieved because I saw how loved she was by her family, especially the person she calls dad. We connected but never discussed the relationship. I was scared, and I don't know why. I wanted to know more, but I didn't want to do it behind my mom's back. She tried to reach out, but I built a wall between us. I'm not ready. I'm not sure how to face her. Has she forgiven my dad? Does she think we robbed her of her supposed complete family? Her possible life? Does she hate me?
When I tried to open the topic, my mom seemed uncomfortable and changed the topic. I knew she was not ready, despite the fact that it happened a long time ago. I can never meet her, not until I know my mom is okay.
To you, sister: I want to meet you. I have always wanted a sister, but I can't and won’t. If I meet you, it will feel like cheating on my mom. My mom is old, and I can't open up old wounds—wounds that never healed.
I promise I will look for you in the future, when everything is at peace. It would have been nice if you could be part of my wedding, but I know it's not the right time. For now, I would like to apologize; I cannot reciprocate; I am not mad; I have accepted the fact that your presence exists. I'm sorry, but for now, I hope you understand.
It was never our fault, but we are the ones suffering the consequences.

Y’all, I’m really not sure what’s still around. This list is somewhat edited, but please still make sure to check on all the regular events before you make big plans – I may have missed something.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 5/16

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash. This week we'll be showing: "Zombeavers". Prepare for an evening of horrific hilarity with comedy narration and devilish drinking games!🍻 Hosted by local comedians. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Seep's Gumbo Nation ft. Shanice Richards. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 5/17

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Rachel Hillman. 5:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Ben Wentworth. 5:30pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: The Tanglers. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: One Year Anniversary Celebration Featuring Queen of Hearts Band. 6pm
  
• Southwood Golf Club: The Rhythm Remedy. 6:30pm
  
• Goodwood: The Big Bash Havana Nights presented by Brent Hartsfield. The Big Bash is Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend's signature fundraising gala of the year and directly supports the agency's youth mentoring programs. Guests will enjoy Cuban Cuisine, champagne mojitos, cigars, flights, classic cars, photo opportunities, silent auction vacation packages, LIVE music and dancing, and an exciting LIVE salsa dance performance from 12 community volunteers! The event is a tremendous networking opportunity for Tallahassee's top business professionals, local community leaders and philanthropists to come together to enjoy an evening to celebrate the achievements of Big Brothers Big Sisters. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wil Fulkerson Jazz Night. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Belly Dancing: Journey From The Nile To The Tigris. Habibi, join us on a groovy carpet ride across ancient deserts: Disco Iskandar embarks on a voyage of belly dance, folklore, cinema, and history in a theatrical dance production, JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS. Highlighting the prominence of belly dance in films of the Middle East from the 1940s through the 1970s, we present a live showcase exhibiting dances from Egypt, Turkey, Iraq, and beyond. It goes so much deeper than you think. Hookahs! Swords! Rhinestones, literally everywhere! This cross section of entertainment and education is the culmination of years of obsessive learning, two national tours, and travels to Egypt & Lebanon. JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS is a trip unlike any other-- where the Middle East meets Vegas. This show’s cast is Gabi Corazon, Gia Bee, Liz Azi, Olya Clark, Vania Ojeda, director Veronica Lynn, and special guest star Omaris! 8pm/$15/21+
  
• The Sound Bar: The Old Schoolers. 8pm
  
• Vino Beano: Your Scumbag Neighbors. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Medians, No Yeah, Sleep John B, and Cloud Storage. 8pm
  

SATURDAY, 5/18

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Crawfordville: Big Bend Biodiversity Tour. See why our area is so ecologically incredible! Get up close and personal with creatures and plants galore. Join expert guide and outdoor educator, Ryan Means for this limited opportunity to tour the Apalachicola Lowlands Preserve. The day-long trip stops at points along the way to the privately-owned preserve nestled deep in the Apalachicola National Forest near Sumatra, FL. Explore the longleaf pine ecosystem, pitcher plant bogs, ephemeral wetlands, and blackwater streams - home to some threatened and endangered species. Learn what makes the Florida Panhandle one of the five richest biodiversity hotspots in North America. Perfect tour for photographers, outdoor enthusiasts and ecologists. $75 tour fee includes round-trip transportation (from 46 Kinsey Rd, Crawfordville, FL) , complimentary beverages, and supports efforts to preserve the incredible biodiversity of the Southeastern Coastal Plain. Spaces limited. Register here: https://coastalplains.networkforgood.com/events/71083-big-bend-biodiversity-tour for full details. 8am
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Rock Type One to None. Let's rock to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes! The Unicorn Wranglers are back on Saturday, May 18th at Dreamland BBQ in Tallahassee, Florida for the 2024 "Rock One to None" show. This show is benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF) and will feature musical guests Midnight Caravan, Fallen Timber, and the Unicorn Wranglers. The show starts at 4 pm and runs until 7 pm at Dreamland BBQ in Music Alley, and is open to all ages. While the show is free, we encourage all rockers attending to donate to the cause. You can contribute at the show by visiting our donation station or by heading over to our online Unicorn Wranglers team page. Together, as one big mosh pit, we can help cure Type 1 Diabetes. 3pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Ethan Kyllonen. 4pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Beza Alford and Rev. Dr. Sheldon Steen. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Flamingo Party. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Billy Rigsby Band. 6pm
  
• Vino Beano: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6pm
  
• Salty Dawg: Hot Mess. 6:30pm
  
• La Tiendita: Rhys Bennett & the Gringos as Vontade. Join us for an energetic evening filled with the vibrant sounds of Latin music, Brazilian beats, and jazz rhythms. Our local band, Rhys Bennett & the Gringos, will transform into the versatile ensemble Vontade, treating you to a delightful mix of rancheras, bossa nova, and more! Whether you're a seasoned dancer or a newcomer to the dance floor, you're in for a fantastic time at one of Tallahassee's hidden gems. Immerse yourself in a night of cultural fusion and musical celebration that is sure to create lasting memories! 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Tillman & Taff. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Midnight Caravan. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Saturnalia, Brass Wizard, Van Season, and Psycho Tropical. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: 80's Video Dance Party. 8pm
  
• Just One More: One Eyed JAK. 9pm
  

SUNDAY, 5/19

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  

• Ology Powermill: Marauders Market. Noon
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Barber Bros. 1pm-4pm
  
• Goodwood: Ice Cream Social. Get ready for a spectacular day of family fun at Goodwood Museum & Gardens! Treat your taste buds to a family fun day of FREE ice cream, FREE crafts for the kids, FREE activities, and more, all on the beautiful Goodwood grounds. Family-friendly musical entertainment will be provided by The Safari Man, who will have everyone tapping their feet and dancing along to his whimsical tunes. 1pm
  
• Common Ground Books: Contemporary Queer Poetry Book Club: Time is a Mother. This month, we’ll be reading “Time is a Mother” by Ocean Vuong. “In this deeply intimate second poetry collection, Ocean Vuong searches for life among the aftershocks of his mother's death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. Vivid, brave and propulsive, Vuong's poems contend with personal loss, the meaning of family, and the value of joy in a perennially fractured American spirit. The author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, the 2017 T. S. Eliot Prize and a 2019 MacArthur fellow, Vuong writes directly to our humanity without losing sight of the current moment. Bold and prescient, and a testament to tenderness in the face of violence, Time is a Mother is a return and a forging-forth all at once.” 6pm
  

MONDAY, 5/20

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 5/21

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Tallahassee Junior Museum: Basic Blacksmith Skills Program. Light your curiosity at our upcoming Basic Blacksmith Skills Program! Join our resident blacksmith, Michael Murphy, as he shares his history of being a Smitty. Participants will be able to keep the fire going, sling a hammer, and throw knives during this two hour lecture program. This is an outdoor event. Must preregister online at tallahasseemuseum.org/events. This program is free for members and regular admission price for non-members. 10am

WEDNESDAY, 5/22

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

Its hard when you feel bad for them
Does anyone struggle with this?
I feel sad that she's being left behind but I know it's what's best for me.
My mother is like a scale 9 or 10 narc. She literally believes her family and friends are trying to hack her devices at all times just to see what she's doing. I can't send my own mother a meme or any type of image because she thinks im using it to try to hack into her stuff. (Btw I've never once tried to hack into her shit I have never once given her a reason to think I'm trying to hack her. I hate her so much that I'm physically repulsed by her. If there was a button infront of me that said "click this and read all her messages" I wouldn't press it because for one I DONT CARE and 2 she grosses me out) but this has went on for over ten years. She thinks me, her sister, her bestfriend and other people are trying to hack her at all times.
Also, she's constantly trying to get cosmetic procedures to the point where it consumes her now. Also, and this is not a fucking joke, she doesn't know how old she is. she literally doesn't know how old she is. After age 30 she quit letting herself keep track of her age and she won't let other people tell her how old she is. When I was younger I jokingly told her her age and she flew into a rage. She just turned 50 last year and she doesn't even know she's 50.
Ok so growing up my mother abused us so much and she loved doing it. She emotionally and physically abused us then after I became an adult she started this weird emotional sexual abuse towards me. To me that's the worst out of everything. It makes sense though because in her mind I'm am extension of her so she's using me for narcisstic supply. Whereas a normal person would never do that because it's fucking gross.
The thing is like she doesn't realize that her actions have lasting consequences with people. I do hate her more than I'll ever hate anyone yet anytime I think of how I need to cut her out it makes me feel bad for her.
A part of her is actually sad that her children hate her. My sister cut her out 13 years ago and I can tell it actually bothers our mother. Yet, I've warned her many many many times that I was cutting her out too if she doesn't change. As far as I know she hasn't even attempted to change, she's still the same shitty person. She only stopped physically abusing me when I was 21 because I finally hit her back. And that's also what pisses me off is that she could control it all along but stopped when I hit her back. Would she still be hitting me in my late 20s if I wouldn't have?
What baffles me is how we can have a good few days and then I would start to think "maybe this is a breakthrough.." and then she will snap over something innocuous and scream and insult me as if I'm not even a human.
I know this is because she has dysregulated empathy. She doesn't know a world outside of narcissm. Idk if she was born with narcissistic personality disorder? But she's atleast had it my whole life and I'm in my late 20s.
It's not fair when you think about it because it's not their fault that they have a personality disorder that alienates them from people. Narcissist aren't 100% evil, they're human beings. And if you spend enough time around anyone you see their humanity.
I know I have to leave the narcissist out of my life but what gets me is she doesn't have self-awareness so when I cut her out she won't even know she did something wrong. She's being left behind by her family because of a condition that she can't help. It's just so unfair. How can I deal with this guilt?

Why
I relied on my mom as a kid. I always thought I could trust her, but she had unaddressed mental health issues that caused her a lot of pain. She didn't seem interested in getting help and instead turned to drugs and unhealthy relationships. When my sister and I were born, she isolated us from others. My mom hid her inner struggles and pretended to be perfect, but I knew deep down there were cracks in her facade.
I noticed people in my life trying to help my sister and me. However, any efforts were ultimately rejected or twisted by my mom. As her early-onset dementia progressed, her mask began to slip. Her unaddressed desires took control, manifesting as manic episodes. When my sister left to get married at 25, I was alone. It was a difficult decision, but understandable. Over the next four years, my mom's mental state deteriorated significantly. Her manic episodes became severe, escalating from yelling and screaming to pushing and even physical attacks.
One day, I reached my breaking point. I confided in my counselor, and CPS became involved. My mom, with her deteriorating mental state, saw it as a betrayal. In her mind, anyone who wasn't with her was against her. I became the enemy for exposing the truth. To silence me, she locked me in a hotel room for a week with no food or way out. The fear and confusion were overwhelming during those seven days.
The question haunted me: "Why is she doing this to me?" After seven days of fear and confusion in the hotel, I was finally released. But the nightmare wasn't over. My mom fabricated a story that I was suicidal and had me committed to a hospital, supposedly to disprove any accusations I might make. For four grueling months, I was shuttled in and out of these facilities. Thankfully, my sanity prevailed – they couldn't keep me there. However, my mom's twisted narrative persisted. Every time I tried to prove my side of the story, it felt like a losing battle.
Despite being innocent of the accusations, I held onto the hope of forgiveness and reconciliation. After all, she was my mom, and I had no other family. But her actions only worsened. The lies became more elaborate and malicious, all attempts to deflect blame for her own mistakes. Deep down, I yearned for a functional relationship, but her manipulative behavior reached a new low. This latest betrayal made me question my very existence. It was a horrible realization: the person I was trying to connect with was determined to paint me as the villain.
The situation escalated to the point where I found myself homeless for two weeks in the cold. Wracked with confusion, I kept asking myself, "Why? Why me?" Despite my efforts to do the right thing, everything felt broken. Eventually, I returned home, desperate for any semblance of maternal connection. My mom's sudden shift to a seemingly caring demeanor felt fake, but I clung to it, yearning for the bond I never had. Yet, the dysfunction persisted. On December 31st, 2023, she brought home a dying Chihuahua for Christmas. Despite being forbidden from interacting with the dog, I ended up cleaning and taking care of it all night. It was a bizarre situation – she was neglecting a dying animal while briefly showing me a kindness that felt hollow. This incident, two days after a birthday with no acknowledgment, was the final straw. When she asked if I wanted anything, I simply requested cake. Her response, "You don't deserve a cake...you keep contacting CPS," confirmed my suspicions. Disillusioned and frustrated, I retreated to my room to regain composure.
Terror surged through me as I heard her screams erupt like thunder. My heart pounded in my chest. Recognizing the signs of another manic episode, I retreated to my room, fearing another attack. She bellowed for my phone, but I clutched it tightly, my only lifeline if things escalated. The yelling intensified into a terrifying storm. With a sickening crash, she barreled into my door, shattering the already weakened frame – a physical manifestation of our fractured relationship. Screws littered the floor as she loomed closer, threats spewing from her lips. Her intent was clear: to take my phone and silence me.
: Exhausted from enduring abuse, I refused to relinquish my phone. When she lunged, attempting a bite on my shoulder, I stood firm. No more questions, just the will to take control. Frustrated, she retreated. The assault left me shaken, but resolute. With no lock due to prior incidents, I braced myself against the broken door. Ten agonizing minutes crawled by as she relentlessly pushed against it, the screws groaning in protest. Finally, the weakened frame gave way, snapping against her leg. A torrent of screams and curses erupted from the other side.
She descended into further chaos, hurling insults and comparing me to my dad, the source of our family's pain. But I was done. Looking her in the eye, I said, "I'm sorry you're hurting, you hurt yourself You hurt me. I don't feel safe, and I need to leave." With that, I grabbed my belongings and fled. Reaching my sister, I explained the situation and tearfully said goodbye to friends, fearing my mom's manipulations. My sister urged me to call the police, but I worried about their response to a mental health crisis. Determined to get help, I decided to call my best friend, possibly for the last time. I recounted the ordeal, expressing my gratitude for his friendship despite past mistakes.
Sirens wailed in the distance, then abruptly stopped. Officers emerged and questioned me. Reliving the night's events, I desperately hoped for help. However, to my utter confusion, they asked me to put down my belongings and handcuffed me. My rights were recited again, but betrayal and confusion clouded my understanding. Weren't they there to help? Instead, I found myself committed to another hospital for a month, forced to spend a lonely New Year's Day within its sterile walls.
Fueled by a burning desire to prove my innocence, I tirelessly pleaded my case. It felt surreal – I, the victim, was treated with suspicion. The worst part? The complete lack of control. Yet, I fought for what was right. The haunting question, "Why?" echoed in my head. Finally, my sister intervened, offering a safe haven. But my mom, consumed by her animosity, refused. Despite the fear, returning home seemed like the only option. It was a return to a broken reality – the same issues, different day. My resolve to escape solidified. I focused on getting emancipated, a job, anything that granted me independence. This defiance enraged her; she craved control, but I was done. The following two weeks were a tense stand-off...
My mom's manipulative tactics escalated. She made false police reports and withheld essential documents like my Social Security card to control me. Even simple requests for my Chromebook charger for schoolwork turned into arguments. Finally, during one episode, she stole the charger and called the police with fabricated stories. This time, the officer recognized her erratic behavior and my truthful testimony. I spent a brief stay in the hospital where they finally believed me. Released into my mom's care, I braced for another fight. Shockingly, she drove me to a police station, claiming I attacked her. But with the officer and my sister on speakerphone, the truth prevailed. They recognized her deteriorating mental state. The agonizing car ride became a desperate plea – why was she hurting herself and our family? Exhausted but resolute, I ended up at a friend's house for the night, then entered foster care the next day. Finding a welcoming home felt like a cruel twist of fate. Witnessing a healthy family dynamic at the ice rink only amplified my pain. My sister's husband arrived, offering a lifeline – a chance to escape the cycle of abuse. The decision was mine: get in the car or stay. As I walked to my friend's house, a healthy family dinner unfolded before me, a stark contrast to my reality. Finally, I confided in them about my situation. With their support and a secret code from my sister, I embarked on a daring escape. Two long, desert hours under the stars, navigating unfamiliar territory, led me to the school – my only beacon of hope. Exhausted and cold, I stumbled upon my brother-in-law, car just as he was about to leave. His familiar voice offered escape – "Get in if you want to change your life." With trembling hands, I climbed in, ready to embrace a new beginning
Reiners response
Despite enduring unimaginable abuse, I never relinquished hope. The kindness of strangers became my lifeline, reminding me that humanity persists even in the darkest of times. Through every hardship, I held onto the belief that doing the right thing matters. This journey has been a testament to the power of letting go, even when it means letting go of family. It's a painful truth, but sometimes letting go is the bravest and healthiest choice we can make to move forward. Witnessing firsthand the destructive power of abuse, trauma, and mental illness, I came to a difficult realization. As much as I hated her actions, I knew they stemmed from her illness. Hate breeds only hate, and I refused to become the monster she was battling within. The past can't define you. It's a heavy weight, but you don't have to carry it forever. All you can do is keep moving forward, one step at a time. Be the person you want to be, the person others see the potential in you to be. The future holds possibilities you can't even imagine yet. Embrace the journey, and never lose sight of the strength and hope you've discovered within yourself.

Growing up, my sister and I were somewhat competitive but got along for the most part. We could play each other in sports, and although she was the better athlete, I always had the upper hand being a guy. Fast forward to today, my sister was a “late developer” and had a growth spurt and ended up getting a scholarship to row in college. She has become obsessed with lifting and does CrossFit competitions and other stuff like that. I’m happy for her, but her personality has changed because of this. She likes to comment how strong she is, and loves to put her hands around my wrists, pick me up etc… she also enjoys play wrestling me, which used to be funny when we were younger, but I no longer enjoy these competitions as I’m concerned about getting hurt due to our strength difference. I’ve tried to tell my parents this but they just laugh it off.
Las weekend we had friends over (we have mutual friends) and she had a few drinks and picked me up over her shoulder. She ended up slipping and dropping me on the ground and everybody was laughing. I was really upset and screamed at her about how she doesn’t respect me and the rowing and lifting has gotten to her head. I also threw my glass on the ground outside, causing it to shatter. She and my other friends think I overreacted but I refuse to apologize.
This behavior has escalated as she has gotten stronger and we’re both home all summer. I have a health condition and can’t properly gain weight.
How should I handle this?
TLDR: I am being physically bullied by my younger sister and don’t know how to handle this.

I 20F had 2 best friends (21F called Kali and 20F Sally) for 2 years which we met in college. Beginning of last year we all planned to go on a holiday but for person reasons we didn’t get to go and only Sally and her other friends were able to go. Kali felt pressured on going to the trip by Sally as Kali wasn’t financially stabled as I was only going because Kali wanted to celebrate her birthday in Morocco. Sally and Kali fell out while I was in the middle of them which made things weird and awkward until Kali had been hospitalised and Sally was asking Kali for the money for her phone contract. Back story Sally made a phone contract for Kali to get her a phone because Kali wasn’t able to get the phone and Kali paid the phone plus Kali borrowed money from Sally when needed. Kali got hospitalised from April last year and the fall out happened middle of March.
While Kali was hospitalised Sally asked for the money knowing she wasn’t in best shape of form which cause me to getting involved because someone couldn’t be so heartless knowing someone is hospitalised and asking them for the money knowing she couldn’t send it. Me and Sally go into an argument and fell out as well. We went weeks without speaking until I figured I shouldn’t have gotten involved and wanted to patch things up with Sally and spoke to her middle of May 2023. I spoken before hand with Kali and told her I was going to speak to Sally about the friendship, after me and Sally spoke I called Kali and told her that me and Sally were cool but not how we were before which made Kali feel some type of way.
Me and Kali met up a week after and spoke in which she told me everything she that bothered her besides rekindling the friendship with Sally which showed me she bottled things up from relationships and friendships issues we had in the past which left me quite confused and shocked. I’m to myself and doesn’t open up about stuff and keep myself to myself so when Kali was asking me about stuff and asking me why Im like that I had no explanation that’s just the way I was grew up. We had a conversation in which Kali mentioned she wanted to have a break from the friendship and I respected, that’s until I heard from others that she’s been telling other people that we weren’t friends even our teacher that we weren’t friends anymore which confused me but I respected and let her be. While that was happening me and Sally’s friendship were improving but still not as close as we were, still went out together and been there for one another but wasn’t as strong as before.
December of 2023 new year comes around me and Sally and 2 of our friends went out for dinner that’s when Kali left me a sweet message which made realise that I did indeed miss her and wished things went different. Kali also texted me on my birthday and my mum as well. Best if I mention that Kali and my mum also have a good relationship as me and my mum helped Kali when she needed and she also helped us when we needed so for that my mum has a deep love connection with Kali and also wished my mum happy Mother’s Day.
Here’s my issues now my sisters birthday is coming up and my mum invited Kali and I mention is to Sally and she asked me to ask Kali for the phone back and her money back but I refused because personally I don’t want to get involved in their issues anymore as I don’t to make it seem like I’m starting issues with Kali for Sally’s sake.
That’s when Sally throughs the “if you were my friend you would do it” personally I think everyone is old enough to fight for the battle and Sally should of found a way to text Kali about the phone situation and the money that Kali still hasn’t given it back. Plus she’s mad at me because I didn’t invite her to my sisters birthday but I don’t invite any of my friends to a family function but that’s just how I am and now she claims I should change just how Kali wanted me to change. So me and Sally stopped being friends. So AITHA for wanting peace over issues that doesn’t concern me?
Edit: Me and Kali started being friends on the first day of college (2020) it was like friendship at first sight. From there onwards we became very closed, had lessons together and created a very strong and close bond. To the point when you see her you see me and if not people would start asking. Me and Kali met Sally and her other friend at the end of 2021 at college as well and the bond was strong as well but not as much and mine and Kali’s were.

Hi this is going to be a very long one, so I (24F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 31(M) for 6 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 25 when I was about to start college and he was in an internship near my college then. It was good at first and we would spend almost every day together during lunch hour and talked constantly it was amazing. I had dated before during high school, but it was the childish kind of dating and was never anything sexual. So, he was my first ever serious boyfriend. I admit it got sexual really fast and I agreed to lose my virginity 2 weeks into the relationship. I think it was 2 months into the relationship was when i noticed a lot of red flags but being young in my head i thought he loved me and we could overcome it. He used to stay with his brother, and they would go out every weekend drinking so i asked if that is what he does every weekend, he went on on me and telling me that what he does with his life is his business and no one in the world will ever come before his brother and his friend. After that we got into an argument, this was over text by the way and he didn't talk to me for days after that. What he said kind of hurt and to make it worse i saw him while i was attending my driving lessons(it was near my college and his work place) and i realised i am going through hell over here and he's just fine. I don't exactly remember what happened to get us to start talking but eventually we did again and continued the relationship. Few months after that i found out he was cheating, i saw texts on Facebook and WhatsApp, nudes and a lot of girls. I should have left then and for the love of me i do not know why i did not. This has happened a lot of times now and every time he would say he will change. he will buy flowers and big gestures and sometimes make me feel like i pushed him to do it because he feels like i don't trust him anyway.
Another thing is I'm introverted so i did not have that many friends i had 3 friends and i had to distance myself from them because every time I would try to go out he would come to where we are and start throwing tantrums and telling to please come home or want to regulate what i can say to them. I was not allowed to ask or tell them anything about our relationship but he could discuss it with his friends. I started distancing myself from them to avoid arguments and now i have no one to talk to at all. At some point when things got a bit too much for i wanted to at least see a therapist because i had no one to talk to and he said i should not because he knows they are going to try to break us apart. I was on my second year of college here and during the pandemic and i had moved out of my sister's house to move in with him because she was living in millitary housing, and it was hard getting into the camp sometimes during the pandemic.
I tried to break it off June 2022 after another cheating thing, i moved out and back with my sister, I was doing my last assignment and was about to graduate. I moved back to my hometown when i was done. He came to see me made big promises about him seeing a therapist and did some really big gestures and we were back again. (I know, i know)
let me make a list of what i have to do and cannot do:

1. If i start a new job i have to tell everyone i have a boyfriend 2. I should not go see my friends without him agreeing 3. I should not miss his calls 4. I shouldn't keep friends 5, i shouldn't drink alcohol 6. I can't go anywhere or the mall without him knowing. This does not apply to him by the way just me.

So that is the back story. Now last year he did it again and I broke up with him for the millionth time and he got his family involved, he said he was suicidal and that he will off himself if i left and stuff. I was back in the city here because i was doing an internship and was back to staying with my sister. Everyone was talking about how bad it is this time and i should give him one last chance. I told him i would think about it so for a few months it felt like he really tried he was doing everything right, we didn't even have sex for like 3 months we went on an expensive vacation everything felt good again and i decide to try again. January i moved back in with him.
Ever since moving in it has been HELL. Every little thing triggers him. He nitpicks what i do or say. Then he gives me the silent treatment for days and i have really bad panic attacks everytime or when after silent treatment he says we need to talk because i know he is going to go off on me and i am going to be crying having panic attacks till i give in and apologies for things i know i did not do or are ridiculous. it has gotten to a point where i can't even get out of bed sometimes because of how bad i feel being here. Last friday there was a barbaque thing at work, he was out of town and we were talking a bit on the phone i put the phone down to get food and drinks when i was done i got a cab home. I realised i missed a call from him 20 minutes ago i tried calling back he did not answe and he did not talk to me the whole weekend. he got back sunday and he does not talk to me. He texted me yesterday while he was at work and asked how would i feel if he missed my call. I told him if he told me he was busy with something and tried to call me back when he realised i wouldnt have a problem and this happened a lot and i never gave him the silence treament for days. He got really mad and told me all i am saying is nonsense and that he hates me and degrading stuff like that.
In the middle of all this texting i got a panic attack and started crying on my own and I decided there and then that I was finally done.i realised I don't even love this man anymore, I don't know why i am even with him anymore.I feel numb now. I don't have enough saving to move but in that moment i got dressed and went to the bank to get a small loan to help pay for the first month of rent and deposit. I don't even have a bed or a fridge but i think I'll see what to do as long as i am out of there. I have lost myself in this relationship.
but guys, after the loan is approved i need to find a house but i don't know how to do that without him finding out yet. I don't know how am i going to leave. What do i say? i don't like confrontation because i know he will go off on me and i am going to cry and have a panic attack or breakdown. I need to safely do this too. I know i am leaving but help me with how to do it.
I know this was long but i think i needed to get it out. Sorry if there are errors i do not want to read it and correct the mistakes and relive it again

The funny thing here is that my sibling is younger than me, she's 15 and I'm 21. Regardless she's very disrespectful. I think that because she's only a teenager, people will think I'm being dramatic and that I should just ignore her immaturity. I've been doing that for years but her behavior never changes and I'm tired of it.
She's very ambitious and she has a standard of how adults should be like, and since I dont fit in it, she feels like she has the right to judge me and criticize me all the time. She embarrasses me in front of our family and friends saying comments to belittle me, and she's constantly underestimating me. She criticizes that I don't know how to cook, when she doesn't either. Somehow she still thinks she's better than me at cooking even though she doesn't cook at all. She criticizes me a LOT for not driving, but I already have my drivers license and I'm repairing my dad's car so I can be able to drive it later on. She criticizes the fact that I still live with our mom, even though it's completely normal at my age and literally all of my friends still live with their parents. (It's really hard to move out in this economy) She literally treats me like I'm a failure as an adult, although I'm only 21 and I'm working. The other day, I was looking at an album of our mom when she was younger, and I told my sister "can you believe mom is 21 here just like i am now?" I made a normal wholesome comment. My sister replies with "And you look nothing like her. She was living the time of her life and what have you done with your life? Nothing at all"
Like...she somehow manages to turn everything against me and a judgement. Also, I AM having a good time with my life. I go out with my friends, have a boyfriend, and I go to concerts a lot. I tell her that I socialize a lot but obviously my friends get busy too and we can't hang out every weekend, because they have college and work. And she says "are they busy, or do they just not want to hang out with you?"
She also has me blocked on all social media platforms for no reason at all, she blocks every family member but she doesn't have any posts so she clearly has nothing to hide..so why would she block me lol we live together. She never answers my text either. She's always texting her friends and calls them but she never calls or texts her family members, not even our parents.
Like, seriously? She is also very selfish and entitled, she acts like she deserves to have everything handed out to her but she never gives anything back to our family. She doesn't call or text our family members at all even though they always help her. She has a lot of money saved, but she doesn't want to spend a single penny on herself. She's very messy and forgetful of the chores my mom tells her to do and acts like she doesnt care when our mom scolds her.
The irony of it all, is that she wanted to be a psychologist.

Hey i always read online someone has to obviously be informed and "Do more research" about wolfdogs.
But i seemingly having a problem to understand what that actually means and what they expect from me.
What does that research entail?
Is it:

• Knowing the anatomy of a wolfdog? The anatomy of a Wolf?
  
• the origin story of a wolfdog, a Chechoslovakian one, a Saarlos one, and the American Vicky Spencer wolfdogs?
  
• and the history about how and for what purpose and intention people started to keep these Wolfdog breeds alive until this day?
  
• knowing a Wolfdogs instinkts?
  
• having Experienced and seen actual Wolfdogs Live (check)
  
• having Experienced seen and been in contact with Wild Wolves (check)
  
• been informed about eating and Food Habits in Wild wolves (check)
  
• been informed about eating and food habits in captive wolfdogs (check spoken to many owners and breeders)
  
• what and how other owners feed their wolfdog?
  
• what and how other breeders feed their wolfdog?
  
• what and how zoos feed heir wolves?
  
• what and how rescue stations feed their wolves?
  
• being informed about the anxiety levels, shyness levels of wolfdogs
  
• being infromed about the anxiety and shyness levels of wild wolves
  
• being informed about the Exceptions and that its actually really rare that wolfdogs are confident and show only slight anxiety or shyness around people. and having a wolfdog which enjoys being around people and dogs is super super rare and commonly wolfdogs may perform good with people and other dogs until the age of 2-3 then might change drastically and reality is that most wolfdogs don't do good with other dogs after that age (check)
  
• researching about the requirements to keep a Wolfdog privately in your home in your country if even legal?
  
• minimum theory's and discussions about what type of environment a wolfdogs needs to be able to enjoy its life in captivity (Space, Garden, House)?
  
• activities you have to do everyday to engage and build a strong bond with your wolfdog to keep a wolfdog healthy and happy?
  
• What it actually entails and means to own, keep, and provide for a wolfdog?
  
• the differences of training a Dog and training a Wolfdog?
  
• the statistics of behavioral issues in wolfdogs?
  
• behavioral habits, and lingering istinkts from the wild wolf part in wolfdogs which according to an article are the reason for 90% of wolfdog owners in america end up giving their wolfdog away or having to euthenize them because they aren't capable to keep them with their level of experience due to any circumstance at the age of 2-3 years when their personality changes and some become more wolf than dog. Resulting in a sad give away game, properly never finding an actual forever home for them and the having a really hard time to heal the trauma and damage made towards this wolfdog?
  
• how to interact properly with any dog?
  
• how to interact properly with wild wolves (or wolves in national parks)
  
• how to interact properly with privately owned wolfdogs?
  
• how to interact properly with wolfdogs by breeders?
  
• Boundarys of a wolfdog? What someone should never do with a wolfdog or to a wolfdog?
  
• What wolfdogs enjoy or don't enjoy?
  
• What builds trust and doesn't build trust in a dog?
  
• What builds trust and doesn't build trust in a wolfdog?
  
• the trainability of wolfdog?
  
• how every wolfdog is really different in training and some don't respond really well to food motivated training approaches, also don't respond well at all to physical punishment type of training, and someone has to get really deep and creative in to finding out what motivates their wolfdog if anything?
  
• how it is generally a lot harder to train a wolfdog?
  
• how it might not be even possible to train wolfdog (even thoug there are quite many exceptions out there)
  
• how to socialize a wolfdog as good as possible?
  
• they'r incapability of being a good guard Dog
  
• They're incapability of being any good in any Working type of environment or training? (though there are quite some exceptions out there too)
  
• They'r possible capable of doing such things?
  
• they'r possible capable of enjoying dog sports like Agility?
  
• how to groom and take care of a wolfdog?
  
• Sleeping area for a wolfdog? Outside? In your Home? In your Bed? In a Kennel?
  
• Wolfdogs and Leashes, Collars, Muzzles, Kennels? Yes? No? Why? Why Not? Why Yes? Legal reasons? Development, personal growth, liveability together in companionship reasons? Liveability together and with other people and dogs reasons?
  
• Their usually common type of personality and behavior?
  
• The complications and what that might mean for you as owner?
  
• the possibility of a wolfdog not being good with small animals or children and how to prevent accidents of that sort?
  
• their high Seperation anxiety of a wolfdog?
  
• how they can't be left alone for long hours and always should be supervised if possible? How to train to be able to be alone for a few minutes up to some hours without causing too much damage?
  
• how easy it is to severly cause trauma and damage to a wolfdog not handled properly?
  
• knowledge about Ethical Breeders and Unethical Breeders what separates them (while for some people there doesn't exist a ethical breeder hence all wolfdog breeding should be something forbidden and is unethical for them)
  
• questions about the Wolfdog to a breeder like
  
• what are their breeding goals when breeding their wolfdogs?
  
• what is their breeding philosophy?
  
• Full DNA embark - Age test
  
• Full Health Report (to make sure not to future bread already genetically mifortuned wolfdogs into a new generation)
  
• Full Family Tree of Parents, Father - Mother + eventually their Parents Embarks and personality Report
  
• Incest Koefficiency factor >5%
  
• Full Vaccination Rabies (even when its not officially approved for wolfdogs)- Deworming
  
• The Legal situation of your country of owning a wolfdog
  
• How owning a wolfdog might affect your Neighbors and people you life with?
  
• How owning a Wolfdog will affect your Life for the Next at least 12-15 years and requiring full commitment and designing your Life around that Wolfdog and not the other way around?
  
• What does it mean and entail, Risks of owning a American Wolfdog which isn't registered as an official breed like Saarlos and Chechoslovakian wolfdogs are?
  
• The Countless storys of Tragedy about Wolfdogs faith and their owners
  
• The Countless storys of Positive lifes people could experience with their Wolfdog
  
• Having a Training Facility like a dog school which is also known to be experienced enough to train wolfdogs?
  
• Having a breeder who can give advice in situations about anything and training
  
• Having a Vet and a Doctor who is able to attend to a Wolfdog and does so willingly without problems?
  
• The Costs entailed in having a wolfdog, caring for them, as well as Insurance if your country offers them, Any Health comlications which might occur Vet-Doctor Costs. Food living Costs.
  
• Costs of changing your property to fit your wolfdog and maybe make it harder for them to escape?
  
• That wolfdogs are great Escape artists?
  
• Strength of a Wolfdog and what does that mean to the owner?
  
• Hormonal challenges of a Wolfdog which entails having a harder to keep wolfdog probably every year at a certain time of year when they get in heat?
  
• having watched countless hours on youtube about Wolves?
  
• having watched countless hours on youtube about wofldogs?
  
• having read countless hours on reddit and quora about wolves and wolfdogs?
  
• having read countless hours on niche forums about wolves and wolfdogs?
  
• How to properly feed and grow up a puppy wolfdog with their sisters and parent for the first 8-12 weeks providing the right amount of nutrition?
  
• Having an actual Scope about what and how it will change your life turn it upside down when deciding to own a wolfdog for the full entirety of the wolfdogs life?
  
• having an actual scope what it means on the downsides
  
  • not being able to travel overseas for yeah complete at least 12-15 maybe even 20 years
  • not being able to let friends near your house, get close to other children, having your own children (even though there exist breeders and owners who in fact do have children and their wolfdogs are doing well with them)
• having an actual scope what it could mean on the upsides
  
• having an actual scope what it does mean IF the wolfdog would turn out EXACTLY how you would NOT like them to be? And figuring out if that would happen are you actually ready to take responsibility and do your best to have your wolfdog have the best life possible?
  
• being aware of the actual critical downsides when an uncontrollable accident happens in a situation you have misjudged and just happens anyways even if you did everything right
  
• knowing that most wolfdogs won't do what you want them to do? And they rarely even do?
  

What can you Add? What did i miss? And is there really ever a point when your done researching? When is the point in which i can say to myself i have done enough research to form a Responsible Opinion about if a Wolfdog is right or wrong for me? What are some super majorly critical things i missed in these questions here?
I think there never really is a time in which you really have learned everything. But people keep saying do more research but really What do they expect from me knowing about the Wolfdog?