Questions about stat decs and de facto
Hello! I have a few questions. Me (Aussie citizen) and parter (UK on WHV in aus) are in the process of collecting our documents for 820 application.
Question 1: do stat decs need to be less than 6 weeks old when submitted in the application? - we have one from our old boss stating that we lived together in work accommodation but it’s from September 2023 signed by a local nurse and we are applying in September 2024- so it’s a year old. Is that okay, or does he need to do a new one just before we apply?
Question 2: how can we prove we live together other than just stat dec from company manageowner? - We both live on an island (in a couple room together) through work accommodation for over 12 months. We don’t pay bills only rent that comes out of our individual payslips. Due to the nature of the place we live, postal service was not available in the first 6months so we did not list it as our address and instead both got stuff sent to my parents house (which we could collect when we visited them). Once postal services commenced we got mail to the island again. Long story short- we’ve both received mail to the same address but to different addresses at different times that doesn’t match up with where we were living. I’m just worried this is confusing and I don’t know how to explain it to a case officer but we really need the mail as proof of shared residency. My drivers license and passport has my parents home address which doesn’t help either. How else can we prove we live together without lease or bills? I love our lifestyle but it’s not normal so much harder to prove
Question 3: did you write your statements (say for nature of household or commitment etc) on a stat dec? It doesn’t really have much room on the paper to write details? Do u type it directly into text box on the application or just all attachments formatted as a ‘presentation’ of sorts with photos and highlighting?
Question 4: can we apply for a double grant? Defacto start date 30 Jan 2023, so been living together for 20 months. I know the requirement is 3 years but it’s discretionary? Could we ask nicely in the cover letter? Or is that ridiculous
I just keep reading so much conflicting information that I feel like I am starting from square one again!

Hello! I have a few questions. Me (Aussie citizen) and parter (UK on WHV in aus) are in the process of collecting our documents for 820 application.
Question 1: do stat decs need to be less than 6 weeks old when submitted in the application? - we have one from our old boss stating that we lived together in work accommodation but it’s from September 2023 signed by a local nurse and we are applying in September 2024- so it’s a year old. Is that okay, or does he need to do a new one just before we apply?
Question 2: how can we prove we live together other than just stat dec from company manageowner? - We both live on an island (in a couple room together) through work accommodation for over 12 months. We don’t pay bills only rent that comes out of our individual payslips. Due to the nature of the place we live, postal service was not available in the first 6months so we did not list it as our address and instead both got stuff sent to my parents house (which we could collect when we visited them). Once postal services commenced we got mail to the island again. Long story short- we’ve both received mail to the same address but to different addresses at different times that doesn’t match up with where we were living. I’m just worried this is confusing and I don’t know how to explain it to a case officer but we really need the mail as proof of shared residency. My drivers license and passport has my parents home address which doesn’t help either. How else can we prove we live together without lease or bills? I love our lifestyle but it’s not normal so much harder to prove
Question 3: did you write your statements (say for nature of household or commitment etc) on a stat dec? It doesn’t really have much room on the paper to write details? Do u type it directly into text box on the application or just all attachments formatted as a ‘presentation’ of sorts with photos and highlighting?
Question 4: can we apply for a double grant? Defacto start date 30 Jan 2023, so been living together for 20 months. I know the requirement is 3 years but it’s discretionary? Could we ask nicely in the cover letter? Or is that ridiculous
I just keep reading so much conflicting information that I feel like I am starting from square one again!

Sorry for the formatting, I'm on mobile. Hi there, I am in desperate need of assistance, I wound up in a domino situation starting last August after a very nasty break up in a financially abusive relationship. I went and had to find a new job in the process and due to the current market, it ended up taking a while and I ended up needing to take out loans to cover rent and food and bills in between jobs. And unfortunately, it's dominoed into having to apply for more and more loans with credit being dragged down in the process having to apply to worse and worse payday and personal loans with terrible rates. And now, I can't find any system or program that will allow me to apply for debt consolidation because it isn't "credit card debt". Now I'm in a position that if I genuinely miss a single day of work I will not have anything for these bills, one 800$ paycheck is only going to cover the payments and leave me nothing for bills/rent/food at all. I don't know what to do anymore, I am so scared. Please, if any of you have experienced this before, please, please help. Thank you.

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[I just recently learned of this community after I had shared this in the raisedbynarcissists sub, and I couldn't figure out how to crosspost it so I'm just copy&pasting]
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding my nMom's treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship".
 
Reading through some of the posts on this sub over the past day or so has been very validating, as one thing she's always been extremely committed to is making sure she's the loudest voice in my life telling me how invalid all of my emotions and experiences and realities are.
 
I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this post, and any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is welcome and appreciated (especially on the topic of being NC-except-as-a-tenant). Her lifelong response to my needs or inconvenient requests for respect or attempts to hold her accountable for her behaviour (throughout literally hundreds and hundreds of interactions that she has walked away from or hung-up on) has essentially been "tl;dr 🖕". So I'm acutely aware of the length of what I'm written, and I'm very used to her cold (or even mocking) avoidance and dismissal of valid issues by commenting on the length or format of my communications without ever engaging on the merits.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the full letter (all of the square-bracketed disclaimers and AI-summary are part of the letter as delivered to her, to try and counter the acute and selective illiteracy she develops whenever she begins to read something she doesn't like):
 
[Start of Letter]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [my name]
 
[/End of Letter]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

My 3rd roommate has been collecting money for bills from me (and 2nd roommate) inconsistently but consistently enough we didn’t ask many questions and paid when asked. 3rd roommate is account holder for electric, water, and WiFi. Recently our landlord informed us the water bill hasn’t been paid since January. This led me and roommate #2 to investigate, discovering none of the utilities have been paid since January except the WiFi which was paid 1 time in March when I forced her to go to the xfinity store to correct a billing issue. The electric and gas bill is over $1,000 The water bill is over $400 And the WiFi bill is also over $400 And we’ve discovered she’s $1200 behind in rent (we all have separate leases so thankfully this doesn’t affect us) However the power is set to shut off may 28th if the electric and gas bill is not paid. We’ve found out roommate #3 does not qualify for any payment plans or grants offered by the company due to previous delinquent activity on her account. The landlord is aware of this and is on our side in trying to resolve this. The issue is she’s stolen from us since January and has screwed everyone over. The electric company won’t let us make any payments or give any information over until roommate #3 transfers holdership to someone else on a lease in the household. However neither myself nor roommate #2 are willing to accept responsibility for any account until we find a solution. We’ve been under the impression that we’ve been paying #3 for the bill every month. We’ve sent the landlord all receipts and conversations and everything to prove she’s been lying and stealing. To our knowledge, the only solution is for landlord to evict roommate #3 to legally prove she is unable to provide payment —proof required by the electric company to switch the bill without #3’s permission—which takes 30 days to process. We have about 2 weeks until the power shuts off Once landlord files for eviction, does anyone know if the company may forgive the fees? Or if the landlord can take care of it and add it onto #3’s owed dues in a lawsuit? Has anyone experienced this or have any idea how we can protect ourselves from getting these fees placed into our responsibility? We’ve never had to deal with anything like this before, and the electric company won’t tell us anything because we aren’t account holders. We both feel so stupid for trusting her and just can’t afford to pay $1000 upfront on top of everything else- nor do we want to, as we thought we were paying it every month. We don’t want anything to fall back on us legally. Our landlord is great and understands our situation, but we just want to make sure we’re in the clear legally. If anyone has any advice, tips, or anything to help, please share. Thanks for reading the long post if you got this far .
TLDR: roommate stole money from us saying she paid the utilities but hasn’t paid a dime since January and now we’re screwed and landlord is aware and trying to help us Just wanna make sure we don’t need a lawyer or anything to protect ourselves

Long story short, these current tenants took over as head of household about 2 years ago but they, as a collective family, have been renting for almost 20 years. I have a lease agreement written since 2023 with signatures and lease renewal etc but no other paper documentation of security deposit or identification. These tenants have been known to be 2-3 weeks late on rent so now with their dragged out lies, I want to take action. All they do is sit around, do drugs all day & all night, and ignore my calls/texts. I've issued a 3 day notice before, but they were able to cure it. Now it's another notice and they continue to ignore my messages. The 3 day notice is now expired and I want to take this straight to court, I don't believe these tenants are reasonable for doing 'cash for keys' and I don't want to lead into their lies anymore.
What are my chances of losing this case and what can I do to prevent that? I'm prepared for a lengthy case, I just want them out in the most reasonable way. What I'm afraid of is if they pull a failure to repair case or stating I didn't deliver the 3 day notice properly. They've complained about some minor (tenant damaged) repairs that needed to be done but never addressed anything in writing and I haven't heard anything in a year. As far as the notice , I taped it up on their front gate and sent it via Ceritifed USPS with return receipt. I didn't take pictures of the posted notice though, but I noticed they took it down shortly after posting it. Few notes: they rent with cash and we pay for their water bill. It’s a 2 house property (I live in one and they live in the other) Thanks in advance!

Apologies for the clickbait title.
30M and 31F ready to get more serious with our finances - looking for ideas or ‘what would you do’ before we pay for any professional advice. My thinking of what to do in our position changes on a weekly basis so I’m looking for other points of view. We live in Sydney and plan to stay there long-ish term but are put off buying a PPOR here as prices are not good value for money IMO. We aren’t opposed to renting for the next few years. The end goal is to be able to semi-retire early if we want to and eventually have our own PPOR paid off - I’m aware this will be a while away. We’re willing to take calculated risks but at the same time don’t want to be leveraged up to our eye balls or go all in on meme stocks.

• HHI is approx $280k (part of my comp is variable). Will likely stay the same for the next few year as not overly motivated to climb the corporate ladder and sacrifice lifestyle.
• Both our Super balances are above average for our age but nothing special.
• We have $1m in cash/stocks - vast majority is currently sitting in high interest savings accounts with the remainder in vanilla ETFs. This came from a combination of saving, company RSUs and exiting a side business for those curious.
• We have no debt and expenses outside of rent aren’t crazy - we can save a good amount each year even after spending on hobbies/holidays.

At the moment we’re both considering buying an interstate investment property for around $600k each (will live there for 6 months) to take advantage of all the first home buyer incentives. Will put cash in an offset account with the aim to ‘break even’ from a cashflow perspective and pay down the principal quickly. From there take out equity for a deposit on the next place, rinse and repeat. Disclaimer: I have no clue if this is a bad idea or not. Alternatively we could also just DCA into ETFs but sacrificing leverage in doing this.

Hi everyone. This post is in regards to the “K hiphop & rnb” festival being held in Sydney and Melbourne this July.
This festival is being held by Prime Entertainment, and I feel responsible to make everyone aware of just how shady this company is.
Below is a recap of my experiences with prime, having worked with them directly, and being an industry professional, I feel I am best suited to comment on the matter. Please read this.
I urge you all to please not attend these shows, they are likely to have artists pulled or the shows be cancelled entirely.
I am happy to answer any questions anyone has.
Thank you.
My Experience with Prime Entertainment
Hi. If this seems familiar that’s because this is a recap of everything that’s happened so far, I want to provide all the current information in one place for the relevant people to access.
Please read this the whole way through.
I have worked in the audio industry, in concert production for around 6 years now, and I’ve had my fair share of shit clients, but I have NEVER been treated with such lack of respect and have witnessed such disorganised business before.
I worked with Prime Entertainment on the TripleS in Sydney show last December. I was brought on less than a week before the show and was tasked with fixing a major issue with the staging, an issue that required me to hire in extra equipment and negotiate with venue staff to meet safety requirements. I understand not many of you are familiar with the world of concert production, but to put this simply, it was a job that required WAY more than THREE DAYS to complete in a satisfactory way.
Fixing this issue took me many hours, emails, phone calls, the whole lot, just to fix a damn stage.
Two days before the show, I was also asked to source 6-8 more lights to place on the front of the stage, and despite efforts that is not something I was able to provide given the timeframe.
Prime, I’m an engineer. Not a miracle worker.
I had explained ahead of the show that I was expecting payment and verbally outlined my rates, which in hindsight was a bad move as I now don’t have that in writing.
Post show, I send my invoice to Prime with the attached due date.
I was left on read for nearly two weeks.
It was only when I threatened legal action that I got a response, and to that, I was told that my rates were “unacceptable” and I was offered an hourly rate $30 per hour below my standard AV rate. Below minimum wage for casual workers under the LPA.
We settled on a middle ground, still $10 under my standard rate.
By that point, Prime had racked up almost $200 in late fees, which Prime refused to pay. And still has not paid. I ended up just letting it go as I just needed to pay my rent.
Let’s talk about VIP photos.
It does NOT take you MONTHS to receive photos from your photographers and get them out to the fans who paid for them. Plain and simple. Tell me why we only just received the Melbourne TripleS VIP photos, only AFTER having to contact you about this. I discovered that the reason these pics haven’t been provided is because prime hasn’t actually PAID those photographers yet. Multiple. Going all the way back to kwave.
And what’s more, you didn’t even provide all of them! Some people had their images left out of the file, conveniently the same people who have been trying to get answers out of you regarding photo approvals for a show that happened in NOVEMBER.
Prime, you do not get to sit there and leave people, clients, and audience alike on READ for weeks when you are withholding vital information and people’s rightful money that YOU owe them. That is plainly disrespectful.
Tabber and Jey.
What on earth made you think cancelling a Jey tour stop and not making a statement about it on your main platform was a good idea? Not everyone is checking your website daily, however if you had just put a post out on your instagram this would’ve been a lot better.
Now as for Tabber, it has been months and you have not processed refunds for the ticketholders who purchased VIP tickets at the incorrect price. It is now less than a month until the show and these people are unsure if their tickets are even valid because you WON’T COMMUNICATE.
This is your fuck up, Prime. You need to fix it.
You, as a promoter and event organiser, have a duty to be transparent with your audience about everything that pertains to the events you run, and you have not done such thing at all.
You have been severely unprofessional and lack the basic communication skills required for this kind of work. If you are not capable of running this business in a productive way, you need to hand it over to someone who can.
I refuse to sit idly by and watch you mislead your audience, this doesn’t just affect you, it affects the artists, the audience and the Australian music industry. You have a responsibility here and you have failed.
You have been given so many chances to fix these issues and you have instead stuck your head in the sand each and every time. Shame.
UPDATE 1:
well who’s surprised. I got blocked on all platforms. But I have some more information that I’d like to share.
After I put out my first post, I met up with a photographer who worked on some Prime shows last year and discovered that I was NOT the only one who did not get paid! This person is owed several hundred dollars by prime and has invoices MONTHS overdue, with radio silence from Prime. And he’s not the only one.
And now to add insult to injury, Prime is now approaching other photographers interstate and offering to pay for them to fly to Sydney and Melbourne for this hiphop festival in July, before even paying their professionals from shows LAST YEAR.
Now an update on VIP photos. As I’m sure those of you with packages know, not all the VIP photos were provided. Prime, people PAID for these photos, you do not get to pick and choose who gets them.
Prime is still yet to provide ANY vip photos for certain people, and quite frankly it’s petty and immature to withhold these images because you don’t like someone. This is grossly unprofessional.
People paid for these photos Prime, and I am not above getting my hands on them myself and getting them to the rightful people myself. I know you blocked me but I know you’ll see this either way, so let’s put it this way, I am in the process of acquiring these photos myself and I will be releasing them. The photographers deserve to be paid and the fans deserve the benefits they paid for.
You didn’t pay for them so you have no right to them. Stop leaving people on READ when they ask about the money they are rightfully owed.
Get your head out of your ass and get your shit together before you lose your business.
UPDATE 2:
I cannot believe we’re talking about this again.
It seems like every single time I hear about them things just get worse.
I am beyond angry.
I refuse to sit by and let Prime ruin Australia and New Zealand’s touring industry.
We as a country, rely so much on the international touring industry and companies like prime that routinely scam fans and artists are damaging the economy and I will not have it.
How fucking dare you come back and do a show when you actively owe thousands of dollars to fans to artists and to staff. The fucking audacity that you have astounds me.
Where are the refunds for Tabber? Where are the VIP pictures for Jey? Where is the merch that people ordered for Gemini?
You don’t have it because you clearly are incompetent and are a scammer.
You have time and time again, failed to pay the people that are supporting your shows and making these shows possible for you, and bringing you an income. You are ungrateful, selfish, entitled, and severely unprofessional.
You have no place in our industry.
Do NOT purchase any tickets for the k-hip hop & rnb festival. It’s likely to be canceled and you are likely to not receive any of your ticket benefits. This is ploy for money because they need it to pay for other things that I’m not at liberty to disclose. But it’s not good.
Prime, you’re too deep in your own shit to claw yourself out. You deserve to be in jail for what you’ve done. You disgust me on a very guttural level.
This isn’t just about me. This is about the industry as a whole. Gio, you are DESTROYING the Australian and New Zealand touring industry by operating in this way.
You need to stop. I do not CARE how much more money you lose. Cancel the show. You won’t get away with this, not unless I’m fucking dead.
I have contacted the management of each of the artists schedule to perform at the festival, and have strongly discouraged them from going through with it.
Please share this and tag the artists and the companies in this post so that they can see this.
We need to make it known that this behaviour is not acceptable at all in our industry and in our country. We are better than this.
I would also like to quickly mention something that I’ve already mentioned on my Instagram story.
Prime entertainment and Nova entertainment are not the same people.
Nova entertainment has been nothing but amazing to me ever since we started working together and ever since this whole situation blew up. Please send them your love and support, they have been through enough.
They are not responsible for any of the mismanagement of any previous shows, in fact, they’re the reason that most of them went ahead in the first place. They were handed a shitty deck of cards, and they did the best that they could with them, please do not send any hate. They were not responsible, and they are no longer associated with Prime.

Hear me out, I know most of you are going to say, “yes stupid, you need a lawyer.” But please hear me out. (Apologies for any formatting issues, I am on mobile.)
My now ex-husband and I were together for 15 years, married for 13, and have now been separated for 3 years. I’d like to move forward with divorce, and I’m the one that initiated the separation/divorce. It’s been very civil for the entire 3 years; no fighting and yelling, no custody issues with the kids (11m and 13f), I rent a home a mile away from his for ease of the kids going back and forth, everything is pretty decent. However, I keep getting the advice from friends and family that I need a lawyer. My issue is, I cannot afford one, but I also don’t qualify for any sort of state or county legal assistance either. Here are a few more details: - we both want 50/50 custody, which is what we’ve been doing the last 3 years; although the kids are with me probably more like 60% of the time because I’ve always been the ‘default parent’, so they do ask to come stay with me on some of “his days”, but he’s very flexible with schedule changes, as am I. - I promised him I would not go for either spousal support or child support. He does make significantly more money than me, and since our finances weren’t shared in the marriage, he has quite a bit of money I didn’t know about throughout the marriage, which pisses me off, but I’m not going to go after it. I also don’t think it’s fair to ask him for child support when we have 50/50 custody. He does agree to pay for their medical insurance as well as their cell phone. - we own a house, which I moved out of when I asked for the divorce 3 years ago. Because there isn’t a ton of equity in the house (we bought it for $360k in 2020, there’s about $315k to pay on the mortgage, and if he were to sell it today, would probably be able to sell it for about $360k), I am not asking him for anything in exchange for him getting to keep the house. Since I’m the one that asked for the divorce, I felt like it was only fair at the time, but I’ve been told this is stupid. However, I refuse to force him to sell the house just so I can have a couple grand, because that’s my kids’ house 50% of the time, in a neighborhood they love. I also let him keep everything in our house essentially, except some sentimental things, frankly because I just didn’t want to go through the hassle of trying to divide up furniture etc.
While I make significantly less money than my ex does, I still make “too much” according to the state or county to get any sort of legal assistance. So I ask: because we’ve pretty much agreed upon everything, do I truly even need a lawyer during this divorce? Second, am I being walked all over? And third, are there ANY resources for me at all, for legal assistance, if determined I need it? I am in the state of MInnesota, fyi.
Thank you so much in advance for your time and input.

Hello you guys, I have a bit of a sticky situation with my former landlord in Delaware County, PA:

• In May 2023, I signed a year lease in a building with about a dozen units owned by a retiree.
• The basement unit flooded twice in June. The property manager made some amends/repairs. I didn't want to move out at that time because I believed the issue was resolved.
• After the tenant above me moved out, the property manager and handyman proceeded to gut the apartment over my head, running power tools late into the night and on weekends for the whole month of November, even after I asked them not to. This was a noise code violation. Because the only way to make an official record of this was to call the police, I decided not to (as a single woman living alone, I didn't want to escalate the situation).
• I was ready to leave after the two floods and the noise. I went into a deep rabbithole doing legal research on the many numerous building and fire code issues in my unit. One of my findings was that my unit had *NEVER* received a certificate of occupancy from the borough, which I take to mean I had been living in an illegal basement conversion that was deceptively passed off to me as a habitable living space.
• In December, the unit flooded again! This time I called the borough's code enforcement department. One of the inspectors came over the same day and later filed a report with a short paragraph on the inspection and the photos he took. He told me he never would have passed the unit.
• I moved out at the end of December and now live about an hour away.
• Here's where I might have fucked up: when I left, the property manager sent me an email stating I wouldn't be getting my security deposit back. I never formally asked for the deposit back. I was extremely overwhelmed by dealing with all the issues, moving twice in seven months, a demanding corporate job, and everything else.
• In April, I sent the landlord a certified demand letter to his personal address asking for the ~$1,500 deposit back. He never responded but I have the return receipt he signed.

Question:

• Knowing the upper limit for small claims court is $6,000, and I am out $1,500 (security deposit) + $1500 (moving expenses) + $7,000 in rent for an "apartment" whose landlord breached the warrant of habitability and covenant of quiet enjoyment, can I ask for the full $6,000 if I file in May after moving out on December 31?

I have been working with a local business to replace their rented Technicolor modem with a Hitron CODA56. I picked the model specifically because it supports the enhanced upload speeds here in Vancouver WA. However, on both occasions in which I called Comcast Business support to swap the modem out on the account, I was told the modem didn't appear on the tech's side, and that I would receive a call back from L2 support. I haven't heard anything in a couple of weeks.
In both cases, the modem was connected for at least 15 minutes before I called, with all lights on solid, and the tech confirmed the model, serial, and MAC address with me. I couldn't find the diagnostics page for the new modem, but the old modem showed good download & upload power & SNR when it was connected in the same place.
So, a few overall questions:

• What is the expected timeframe for a call back from L2 support?
  
• A rented eMTA for our phones (a TM804G) is also connected. Although the ethernet port is usually disconnected, I noticed that I do receive an IP address and can connect to the internet through it. Does the eMTA need to be disconnected for the provisioning process to succeed?
  
• The first time I tried connecting the new modem, I plugged my laptop directly to the ethernet port and a web browser quickly redirected me to the Xfinity setup page. On subsequent attempts, it did not send me anywhere, despite giving me an IP address. Could that be a sign of a faulty modem or connection?
  
• Is there a problem with this specific make and/or model? The second tech suggested it had been problematic for him.
  
• I hear great things about the Arris S33, and would happily exchange this modem for one, but I don't see it in the list of supported modems for enhanced upload speeds. The second tech suggested ignoring that list because most D3.1 modems should work, but I don't want to sink money into another modem if that's not the case. Our plan is 500 down, 200 up.
  

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
(edited to improve formatting)

A quick rundown of the siutation is we have a duplex for rent that these sisters and a mom that were going to rent. They were set to move in today. They have paid the pet deposit, rent, and the security deposit. Totaling to 2950. The first sister came, and we greeted her and she was very nice and liked the place. We had the lease on the counter top and she signed it. The other sister came and was in the house for 20 mins or so before she came over to tell us that she isn't going to be able to stay there because something to do with mildew smell causing her allergy's or whatever to flare up in her chest. We have a housing inpection last augest with no issues regrading with what shes saying. We had a young couple in there for a year with no issues. The unit has been empty for 1 month maybe that has somehting to do with it. I have no clue what I can do in this situation to not just get screwed over. She was suppose to come for a showing before signing but she came a day earlier than what we said and didn't come to see another showing after. I am getting screwed because i could have had this on the market the entire time. Can I do anything like just keep the security deposit or rent because they fucked me around? I dont want to screw this over but i am getting screwed over I feel like they cant just backout last second but idk. We have a call setup with our lawyer tmmr just wanted some advice. Please help!!!!! Michigan and it was a 4 month lease and they sign a deposit receipt contract to take it off the market. We got all their documentation form zillow application
EDIT: just went over to the place and saw they crossed the name out the lease no way she can fuck up a legal document

A lot of times I see the Own vs Rent argument. And it does get mentioned occasionally. But i see an alarming trend that’s not talked about enough for retirement. Further, it’s not talked about ”enough” with respect to inflation.
Inflation. Let’s talk about that. Over the years, numerous revisions have been done on how to calculate it by official government numbers. And it always swings in favor of lowering CPI after each revision.
That aside, let’s use official government figures. You’re a young 18-22 year old considering retirement for the first time. Probably 50 years. Maybe 40, because you’re diligent about planning, after all, you’re researching it the ripe age of 22.
You rewind the clock back to 1975 to try to find the inflation rate you can expect, despite the fact that the U.S. Monetary system has printed the majority of all money in circulation recently.
You think, property taxes. Now this is home and geographic related. Property values have skyrocketed especially upon the coastal cities of Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Boston, Philadelphia, New York City, etc. Home prices are through the roof (keep in mind, we’re not even discussing inflation of home mortgages themselves. Your grandparents who bought a home in California at 60k is now 1.8 million)
Back to Property taxes, you find a home for 600k, nothing crazy in your city with a good job. You find the best rate with your 780 credit score. You get lucky, and it’s capped at 1% property taxes too.
You pay 6k a year to call that property yours whether it’s owned by the bank or you. Using https://www.usinflationcalculator.com Going back to 1975, that 6k then, is now almost 39k a year.
39k.. a year .. is what you will owe for owning your own home outright factoring in inflation… after numerous revisions to make the official figure better for optics.
That’s not including basic repairs, maintenance, insurance, and utility costs for gas, electricity, water, internet, etc.
We talk about healthcare and cost of living being in retirement.. but I don’t see property taxes relative to inflation mentioned enough.
Some will argue some taxes are most just than others.. (property tax vs sales tax vs income tax)
But just wanted to put this out there for information, and it only gets worse. Crazy high property taxes? 17000 now? That’s 100k a year in retirement. With capped prices.
Just something to consider as you plan for retirement (to the younger crowd)
Can figures be manipulated to look slightly better? Sure. But this is just a rough look at how this will impact your retirement owning a home, which to me is insane. I’m well aware services like police, firefighters, school etc need to be funded. But our tax code is a mess. You get taxed on your income tax when earning income, but invest your money wisely to get capital gains taxed, to have enough money to own a car to get taxed, for a home you can someday own to get property taxed, so you can buy little things that make you happy on sales taxed, and if you’re lucky to save enough to give your children a better life to get hit with inheritance/estate tax.
When planning for retirement, make sure to keep taxes and inflation into account, especially property taxes.
Edit: phone formatting

Hello community I been reading a while and I don't know what to think, I'm apologizing in advance if is confusing.
Basically my father in law got a house about 7 years ago, he got remarried, relocate in rent trailer-house with his wife, and that house that he bought basically started renting it.
Now is when everything starts to get twisted:
After maybe 1 year the renter ask him if will be a possibility that the house can be transfer it to him, in "exchange" he (the renter) will rent a house that he have, with possibility of own it, basically kind swapping houses, my father in law agreed, sign paperwork saying that the renter will take over the payments of the house and deed will be on his name when the house payments are done (the paperwork was nothing official in court, just notary)
After that they were paying each others a rent, no problem, but take my father in-law by surprise that this past week, the other guy told him that he needs to leave in 1 month since the taxes of the house were never paid in the time they were there and they owned so much on it and the mortgage payments were accumulated it because he was going thru a divorce and he basically make payments just to avoid losing the house, but the bank had enough so my father in-law is homeless now, thinking about leaving to another state, but he wants to fight to get his house back.
The payments on the bank, the receipts, the name on the bank, the "deed", tax payments, everything is under my father in-law, he wants to know if he can just "gift" or legally transfer the house to my wife, if no just basically give it to us to keep the house and live in there since we renting at the moment.
Apparently he talked to a lawyer and they said the "paperwork" he signed wouldn't be a problem, but now I think is just to much in this twisted situation.
Can be possible for him to take it back without problems? Or that paperwork he sign is gonna be a huge problem in the way?

I wonder if I can ask for some clarification of something relating to capital gains tax and beneficial ownership.
I have owned an investment property in my own name since 2009. We both lived in the property for several years before starting to rent it out in 2016. In 2016, I created a trust which confirmed that I held 50% property on trust for my wife, as follows:
“I, (My Name), declare that I intend to create a trust to transfer 50% of the profit from sale of the property described as (Property address) to my wife, (wife’s Name) , without the transfer of legal ownership. By making this declaration, I acknowledge that (Wife name) is entitled to 50% of any income derived from the sale of the property. This is a bare trust, no conditions or restrictions are attached to the transfer of beneficial interest. I understand that this declaration does not require registration with the Land Registry, nor does it necessitate the delivery or witness of signatures. The trust becomes enforceable from the date of this declaration.”
We have recently sold the property, which was registered in my name only, and on which I had a mortgage in my name only. There is a gain of about £80,000 before any CGT allowance/s. As far as I am aware, CGT is based upon beneficial ownership so, given the above trust, we ought to be able to use both allowances, with two CGT declarations.
As per HMRC (in its Capital Gains manual, at CG70230) lists the following as indicators that a person is a beneficial owner of land:

• Holding legal title; occupying the land; receiving rental income from the land; providing the funds to purchase the land; or receipt of sale proceeds from disposal of the land.”

Aside from the fact that the above trust “confirms” my wife's beneficial ownership, she also received 50% sale proceeds from the disposal of the property. She did not hold legal title and did not provide funds for the purchase. Having said that, I am now not clear whether:

• the trust on it's own confirms beneficial ownership.
• whether all five of the conditions need to be satisfied, in addition to the trust, in order to confirm beneficial ownership, or
• whether the two that she satisfies, along with the trust, confirm beneficial ownership.

I've read around CG70230 including the various included links, and it looks like my wife is a beneficial owner of 50% of the property based solely upon existence/evidence of the trust of 1st April 2017, and we can make two CGT declarations, and claim two CGT Allowances.
I wonder if I could get any advice as to whether my interpretation is correct, and that we should each make a declaration relating to 50% of the gain, (or otherwise).
I hope the above makes sense, and am grateful for any help.
Edit: In Scotland

I am a 20 year old male, married a 27 year old trans woman. I met her on grindr and we pretty much instantly fell in deep love.
When we met we hit it off and after a couple days she wanted me to move in, and I did. Her landlord raised the rent because of me being there and we couldn't afford it even with both of us working, plus she also lost her job, she told me all about it, her boss was her stepdad and he hated her.
She even showed me audios of him mistreating her but at the same we didnt think to try to sue or anything and she ended up deleting them later when formatting her phone.
We rented a place much closer to my work so we don't have to pay much for my transportation.
Long story short, it was all amazing we got married. I'm a very jealous partner and I made this clear from the beginning.
She always made sure to make me feel secure and still does. She said she'd block anyone I wanted and I did ask her to block a few friends. Because they were male friends that wanted to go out just them and her, specifically without me, and I thought that was weird af.
She did everything as I asked and the situation we ended up in is, shes at home all day, not working because i asked her to get a job with the same shift as me (so we can be together more often) and she can't seem to find one because of lack of education. I work as a school secretary for a government public school, good paying stable job.
So recently she had been on call a lot with friends after i got home from work, playing videogames. And I asked her to give me more attention and do things together more. (Yes, i know, i was being unreasonable and i fixed this, i now dont complain about this anymore)
So we fought about that, she cried saying my jealousy made her abandon literally all her real life friends, and cried saying i changed her entire personality. And that there is no reason for any of this because she would never cheat and doesn't want to.
She also told me about how she dated her ex who was unemployed the entire 3 years they dated, would beat and abuse her, and cheat on her, and yet she never cheated. Even though one time he asked her to make him cuckold, to fuck another guy in front of him, she refused, he cheated in response, they broke up.
Anyway, shes on this discord server with online friends she knows from another state, I live in Brazil. Its a server for a game called Red dead redemption, shes trying to get an online job with them making maps for the game and such. She hasnt had much luck learning but is trying hard, and the owner who is married, wants to hire her for this online job.
She told me recently she wanted to go on a trip with those friends, in another state, the guy who wants to hire her will pay for everything. She at first said it was for signing the contracts. So I said she can just sign online. Then she said actually she also wants to meet them, eat BBQ and have fun. She said that if I went with them I had to know i would have to sleep in another room, because all the woman would sleep on one room and all the men in the other. And somehow later after telling me all this she decides that she actually wants to go without me so she can have time for herself, so that she can feel she misses me, because we're together too much.
I trust her and I love her, and we have a great sex life. We do it almost every day But I'm extremely scared and insecure about being cheated on. And this whole work trip thing sounds so much like a cheating story waiting to happen.
I asked her not to go and tried to say she can't go without me. She said she will go either way and that i will have to decide what i will do if she goes. So i asked her if she was choosing a trip over me, she said she was choosing freedom over me.
Can i get some real advice about how I can feel more secure about this or if my suspicions are correct? And if she was going on this trip and cheated, how could know so i wouldnt have to stay married to someone who isnt faithful?

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$