Okay, I posted here before about a similar topic. Gonna make this post shorter. Hopefully I can grind out the important details so you don't have to read a book. So here goes.
I was looking to upgrade my pc. Current specs.
GPU: RX 580 4gb
CPU: Intel i5-8400
RAM: 16gb DDR4 2666mhz
Mobo: Bazooka B360m
650-750watt psu. Thermaltake brand. I give a range for the PSU because I keep forgetting the exact.
But it does have enough power. I did check.
What happened: Decided to get 3060 ventus 12gb. It's a good upgrade for me, got a smoking deal Imo, and compatible with my system.
Went through the basic driver removal process for AMD using that program I forgot the name of + safe mode stuff.
Plug it in, all works amazing. Update everything. And still, working amazing. Pc never felt so smooth.
Day goes by I'd decide "hell yeah I can play CP2077 now." I load it up, runs fine. Play with settings, still fine. Just gauging what my system can handle smoothly.
Finay I crank it up to one of the last presets before max. Game froze, pc screen went black. GPU dies. GPU did not work after this again despite many trouble shooting STEPS.
Finally, I RMA'd it. MSI has been treating me wonderfully and my card is on the way back now. May be important to know my old GPU worked plug and play while my 3060 is with MSI.
((if curious about how it stopped working, I'd load up pc, windows login would show up, then after 5-10 mins of use it'd black screen practically indefinitely. Later tests would just have nothing show up AT ALL))
So what can I do this time? I'm tempted to just not touch the card until I have all my other parts. But that feels like a waste, I'd love to utilize the power I purchased. But I am scared since idk what happened, I don't want to repeat it. And while MSI has been amazing to me <3, I would like to avoid shipping it then waiting for it back

I read a subreddit about the long feud between Bisaya and Tagalogs and that Bisaya has this called "Tama" attitude and I couldn't agree more.
~long post ahead~
Based on my experience, most of my excruciating scenarios where I couldn't stand someone's work ethic happens to be with a Bisaya colleague.
This started two years ago. We got deployed in a school where we need to stay in.

1 I got a Bisayan roommate who's overly controlling on how we should act and behave in our dorm. She would want to make almost all decisions like when we should clean the room (anytime she wants) or how the room should look like. She would comment even on our meal routine and how we shouldn't cook something because she didn't like a certain dish. But for us, we couldn't voice out our choices because we will be resented. It came to a point where it got suffocating and it left me no choice but to exchange dorms.

In relation to the title, at work, she wasn't as different. Since she had a connection to our boss, she acts as if she has a say to everything our colleagues do. PS, we are both newbies and we shall be the ones to reach out and learn to get to know them but she chose to intimidate our fellow employees instead. Like for example, our colleagues started putting out their lunchbox at 11:55am. When I asked her if she'd like to eat, she says "No thanks, it's still 5 minutes until lunch" loudly for our officemates to hear. I felt the tension and the awkward silence after. After that, nobody ever talks with her at work.

2 Another Bisayan speaker got to orient us for a week at work. She overhears another Bisayan colleague and I discussing about the program. Let me code my colleague R (he) and the speaker J (she). The orientation was in between a busy schedule on closing the previous year and transitioning to a new one. R was asking if I could replace him to host the event which will be 30 mins prior the start. I normally don't have a problem with impromptu tasks if it would be hours of prep before the actual, but this one I rejected. I said no and explained I still have deadline for closing the year so all I could do is attend the orientation. The speaker, J, butted in and encouraged me that what I'd do is simple. Still for me, I preferred hosting if I was conditioned to do so or if I had the time to prepare so they got a second firm "no" from me.

During the orientation, J the speaker, unsurprisingly took her sweet time teaching us on not saying "no" to the tasks we were being given. She was reiterating that saying "no" to responsibilities was rejecting growth at work while looking at me the whole time. I knew from the start she was referring to the interaction we had earlier. I had been uncomfortable and really second guessed myself hard afterward.
Anyway, I got closure on this because I did not attend the orientation the next day and directly addressed the issue with her. Guess what? She suddenly didn't have an idea on what I was talking about and that she didn't intend to do anything that upsets me. Lesson: Don't get intimidated by passive-aggression; they will fold once you let them know you know what they're playing.

3 Our boss is Bisaya. She's fond of employees that were from her same hometown. Unfortunately, this caused division in our work dynamic. Our Bisaya colleagues were always put on pedestal like they were given higher positions at their first year (unlike the tenured and qualified ones) and were never called out for their toxic behaviors at work. They were always the ones to break the rules they set that even clients complain but since they have power and in supervisory positions, they fall on deaf ears all the time. When they do break the rules, they are quick to ignore or they scapegoat others. But if other than them commits mistakes, they were being escalated and announced. I firmly believe this rooted from our boss' unfair treatment. It made our Bisaya colleagues think highly of themselves. Tenured and qualified employees get exhausted for nothing and get blamed for every mistake. While they are being continuously rewarded just because they are fellow BISAYA. No wonder every year, most employees resign in this company.

My conclusion - most of Bisaya I get to work with have dominating personalities and are sometimes passive-aggressive.
I'd like to know shared experiences from the comments.

Throwaway account. Context: I 24 female recently got married to my wonderful husband 37 male. We met at a volunteer event and instantly connected. He’s a professor of the same subject at University that I majored in engineering. He is PERFECT and he checks out all my boxes that I found are extremely rare: he is devoted to God, has high morality, doesn’t drink or smoke, very organized and meticulous so on and so forth. He’s also a little goofy, and I love it❤️( loves Star Trek and building Lego sets). 7 months of a whirlwind romance we’re married. Since we’ve been married I noticed some major changes and I think it’s mostly my fault. I love cooking and since I am an ABD I introduced him to alot of new food from my cuisine and in our culture we sometimes feed our loved ones food that we prepare( I know, kind of infantilizing but it’s how we show love). Recently he’s been asking me more and more to feed him and after dinner I also give him scalp massages that now he says he can’t fall asleep without. Initially I happily obliged but now I’m getting concerned, where did the independent man go? Also, I make him bento boxes for lunch with cute shaped rice balls, but I didn’t know that he’s been posting pictures of them in his socials🤦‍♀️, (tbh I don’t think it’s a good look for a 37 year old professor to post a starfleet Combage shaped rice ball ,that all his students might be able to see) He has also been following me every where I go, last Friday I went to play tennis after work and I didn’t know until after that he was watching the game the whole time , he also went to my last mani pedi appointment with me after work. I know it’s lovely that he wants to be close to me, but gosh I feel suffocated and then I feel guilty cause my husband is perfect, and he’s not doing anything wrong and I should be grateful but I just wanna don’t know … I’m irrationally upset at this, I don’t know what to do and I don’t wanna hurt his feelings

TW: blood loss, retained placenta
Well I got my home birth vbac, plus much more than I bargained for!
I'll begin by including that today is my actual due date so baby boy was right on time and I was full term. I'd had bouts of braxton hicks and prodromal labor off and on for the last few weeks, with one very convincing false alarm last week, resulting in me calling the midwife and her assistant over. She checked me out and I was sitting at 3cm, fully effaced but there were no other signs of progress.
In the days leading up to yesterday however, I had passed some noticeable mucus clots and was spotting a bit here and there. I tried not to think about it too much because I know you can lose the plug well before labor and I was just hoping at that point that it would be painfully obvious when I finally went to real labor.
So yesterday I couldn't catch any rest whatsoever. I wasn't sleeping great at night so I had taken to just napping as needed around the clock. But yesterday I couldn't nap for the life of me. I had this nagging anxiety that I really needed to rest so I ended up taking unisom around 5pm and making myself go to bed. I proceeded to wake up every other hour either hungry, thirsty or needing to pee. This is uncharacteristic for me because usually once I fall asleep, I'll stay asleep for at least a few hours. I was miserable.
I dozed off again and around 10:30, a contraction woke me up. It was a bit more intense than braxton hicks but it didn't have the same searing intensity as the worse contractions last week. So I got up and started pacing around to see if they would ease up. I rotated through a series of exercises meant to keep baby in a good position (a la Turning Babies) and they didn't seem to let up so I finally started timing them around 11. They were averaging less than 5 minutes apart and lasting about a minute.
This was starting to feel real. I called my husband who was working late and said he needed to get home asap because I was fairly certain things were really happening. I continued timing the contractions for a full hour and sure enough, they were staying steady so I called my midwife over. From here on out, my sense of time is super vague and warped. I really knew it was finally happening because I suddenly understood what they mean about not being able to walk or talk during a contraction, plus I felt like I was in this liminal space of being and nonbeing - like I was hyper aware of my body and the pain, but I was removed from it in order to cope.
By the time the midwives got to our home, my husband and best friend were there, I had already labored on the toilet, in the shower and on the couch in rounds. They took one look at me and knew it was real, and immediately took turns helping me and setting up the birth pool. I'm guessing I labored in the pool for about 5 hours, because it was ready around 2am and I stayed in there until after the rose. The pool really helped my labor progress and at one point, my midwife noticed that the sounds I was making were getting lower, more intense and drawn out.
She checked me again and sure enough, I was at a 6 and counting! She said, "Now might be a good time to call your moms, we might have a baby soon!" I think it was around that point that my water broke as well, as there was a good bit of mucus and bloody show floating around the pool. Our moms showed up shortly after, along with my teenage son, and I labored a while longer, taking turns holding our moms hands. They kinda started making me anxious so I got out and slowly moved through various labor techniques. Ultimately, I ended up sitting on the couch with my legs up on the midwife's legs, holding myself behind the knees with each push.
After about 12 hours of hard labor and no medication other than some motrin and ginger, he crowned with a beautiful head of curly dark hair! My sweet boy was born a couple pushes later and I immediately knew that I had torn. The ring of fire is a whole other ball game when you tear. The midwife tried to wait for the afterbirth to come away for about thirty minutes but each time I pushed I lost more blood. I started getting dizzy and losing color and we ended up at the hospital for 4 blood transfusions and to surgically remove the placenta.
I was too out of it to get the full run down if the placenta was actually fused to my uterine wall but they were able to get it out quickly in a 15 minute surgery. They were worried that it might be fused to my c section scar and if that was the case I would've ended for a partial hysterectomy. After the surgery I woke up cold and shaking profusely, begging for blankets and a warm compress for my boobs because they were so cold they were like hard as rocks. After they tried to warm me up I spiked a fever, plus losing so much blood had deflated my veins so they had stuck me all over trying to test my blood volume after the transfusions.
I was in surgery and recovery for a good while so the baby was with daddy and fam the whole time. They rode in the ambulance with me and when we got to the hospital we asked if they could give the baby donor milk. They said we'd have to admit him in order to do that and I was hesitant but they've been really respectful of our wishes. I said no vaccines, no bath, no circumcision, no formula and no taking him from us. We're just now letting them take him to the nursery so we can get some sleep. It was pretty hairy there for a while but we made it and he's perfect 🤗
Tl;Dr had an amazing physiological birth but tore severely and had a retained placenta. Ended up in the hospital for blood transfusions and surgery to remove the placenta.

Over the last month I have had a heck of a time modding Skyrim for Steam Deck. In early 2023 I had modded the game via a Youtube video which worked perfectly but after the latest update, this is no longer the case. Googling provided almost Zero help.. Well through trial and error I've finally got the game modded for Steam Deck with 77 mods running perfectly. Today I'd like to share my findings.
I'll be using Vortex mod manager and SkyrimSE. For any other version of Skyrim just substitute your version instead. Also I know this may look overwhelming, it's not as hard as it looks, I'm just thorough. Aside from waiting for things to download and copy, this will take about 5-10 minutes. If there are issues however, one of the steps to fix this could take hours.
What you'll need:

• A PC capable of installing Skyrim and Vortex mod manager.
• A USB or USBC thumb drive or external drive (100gigs minimum).
• Cloud Saves Enabled for Skyrim.
• (optional) If your drive is USB you'll need a hub for your Steam Deck that supports USB.
• (optional) A keyboard and mouse to use on the Deck. Although you don't NEED these, it'll make the process much easier.

Getting Started:
Note: If you've already modded Skyrim on PC you can skip this section.

1. On your PC, Install Skyrim via Steam (remember where you installed it for later).
2. When it's finished, download and install Vortex Mod Manager.
3. Open your web browser and go to Nexus Mods and find and download all the mods you want to use. Select the "Files" tab and then select the "Mod Manager Download" option so Vortex can properly manage the mods. You may have to resolve some conflicts or the like, Vortex is pretty good at making that easy.
4. Once you are happy with the mods you have downloaded and installed. Launch Skyrim through Vortex by clicking the play button on the Skyrim graphic in the top left.
5. Play for at least 30 mins making sure to try everything, opening the map, your inventory, spells, etc.. If there are no crashes and no visible problems then you are good to go. Save the game and Close Skyrim and move to the next step.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
Preparing Skyrim for the deck:

1. On your PC, open steam and uninstall Skyrim. This will leave you with a Skyrim directory with only the mods and nothing else. (note: certain mods will break with this method, mostly mods that overwrite default textures/models. These aren't common but if you experience this, you can skip this step and proceed to step 2)
2. Open your Skyrim directory on PC and plugin your thumb/external drive.
3. Copy the entire "Skyrim Special Edition" folder to your thumb/external drive.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
Preparing the Deck for Skyrim:

1. On your Steam Deck, Install Skyrim normally. Run it at least once to make sure the prerequisites are installed..
2. Exit to desktop. To do this, long press the power button until a menu pops up with the option to 'switch to desktop".
3. Right click your desktop and select: "Create New>Folder". Name it "Skyrim Mods". This will be very important to save you headaches in the future.
4. Plug in your Thumb/external drive and mount and open it when prompted.
5. Open the "Skyrim Special Edition" folder from your thumb/external drive.
6. Copy "SkyrimSE.exe" and "skse64_loader.exe" to the "Skyrim Mods" folder you created on your desktop.
7. In the desktop folder, rename "SkyrimSE.exe" to "SkyrimSE_old.exe" and also rename "skse64_loader.exe" to "SkyrimSE.exe".
8. Right click inside the folder and select: "Create New>Text File" and name it "SKSE.ini".
9. Open "SKSE.ini" with your default text editor.
10. type the following into the "SKSE.ini" and save.

[Loader]
RuntimeName=SkyrimSE_old.exe

_________________________________________________________________________________________
Installing the mods and set up:

1. Open your Skyrim directory on your deck. If you don't know where that is, open Steam from the desktop taskbar, right click Skyrim and select: "Manage>Browse Local Content".
2. Open your thumb/external drive and copy the contents of "Skyrim Special Edition" to your decks "Skyrim Special Edition" folder. When prompted select "Write into". Wait for it to finish copying. You may now unplug the thumb/external drive.
3. Open your "Skyrim Mods" folder from your desktop.
4. Copy the "SkyrimSE.exe" and "SkyrimSE_old.exe" into the "Skyrim Special Edition" folder. Select "overwrite" when prompted.
5. Inside your decks "Skyrim Special Edition" folder open "DATA" and then "SKSE"
6. Copy your "SKSE.ini" file into the "SKSE" folder on the deck.
7. Double click the "Return to Gaming Mode" icon on the desktop and wait for it to load up.
8. Launch Skyrim and load the save you made on your PC. This will enable all your mods. Play for at least 30 mins and try as many menus and mods as you can. If there are no issues, yay! Enjoy!

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Crashes, Broken Mods and other issues:
Problem: The game ran a validation check and now my mods aren't showing up.
Solution: This will happen from time to time. Switch to desktop mode. Open your "Skyrim Mods" folder and re-copy the SkyrimSE.exe file into the decks Skyrim folder. This is why we keep that folder around.
Problem: The game seems to missing one or more textures.
Solution: Start with a validation check (then follow previous problems solution). If that doesn't work it would appear that one or more of the mods you are using overwrite one or more of the games textures. Unfortunately you'll need to start again while skipping the uninstall of Skyrim step. This will create a much larger file transfer size but should fix the problem.
Problem: The game crashes when I open menus or while looting or some mods are broken or not showing up. All other issues.
Solution: This one is a bit of a doozy. So most likely what is happening is your mod load order is out of whack. There is a fix but it can be very time consuming depending on how many mods you have installed. With the 77 I have it took about an hour.
On your PC open "C:\Users\USERNAME\AppData\Roaming\Vortex\skyrimse\profiles" where "USERNAME" is your name you sign into your PC with. Inside that folder there should be another folder named randomly. Open that and inside will be a text file called "loadorder.txt". Open that.
On your steam deck load Skyrim and when the main menu loads select "Creations". When it loads, press the "Y" button to configure the load order. Here you will find all your installed mods.
What you are going to want to do is cross reference the load order from the "loadorder.txt" with the load order you are seeing in Creations on the deck. You can reorder the list in creations by using "LB" while highlighting the mod you want to move. For me, it was very wrong and caused a lot of problems. This will fix all that.
That should be all. If you have any questions or issues that I didn't cover, please leave a comment.

Zekarias peeked out from behind the door, watching the assembled legion.
"I cannot do this."
He turned and smiled at his Hammer, resting his usual gentle hand upon her shoulder.
"Can't implies an inability. You have the ability. But compared to the likes of Horus and Fulgrim, public speaking was never your forte."
Ferra snorted as she stood up, her necrodermis hands resting on the door console.
"Have you any advice for me, Anvil?"
Zekarias smiled before locking eyes with his lover.
"Be honest. Be your usual, blunt, and frustratingly honest self. Sincerity is a strength. Especially when tempered with tact. But I won't instruct you any further on the things you fail to grasp."
Normally, Ferra would scowl and tighten her grip on Forgebreaker. But to Zekarias' delight, Ferra Manus laughed, using her hammer as a support.
"Indeed! Perhaps I should've made you my scribe instead to craft those lavish speeches to sway my sons!"
"Ah, but then who would stand up to you and insult you into making better decisions?", Zekarias retorted.
"Don't make me coat your hands in Necrodermis, Anvil."
The man made an exaggerated gasp and clutched his hand to his breast.
"Perish the thought!", he exclaimed, "For whose hand would your new ones hold in the morning? Where then shall I get my pleasure of stroking your face at night before we rest after a hard day's labor?"
Ferra scoffed at his theatrics and bid the machine spirit to open the door, her thoughts straying to her Anvil's advice.
"Be seated", she bid her sons. As they did so, she gazed at their shield arms. All of this. To honor her? After the last battle brother had taken his seat, Ferra returned her attention to the congregation.
"I have heard reports of late, indeed spanning centuries ago during the Great Crusade, that to honor me, you have been removing your arms and replacing them with augmetics. While I am flattered that you wish to be like me and possess iron hands of your own, there is a fact lost on you that has twisted your ritual to honor me and turned it dangerously close to a mania."
"That fact is quite simply that these are not my hands", she continued, gesturing to her necrodermis arms, "These hands are strong, to be sure, and I have created a great many things for Mankind. And that counts for something. You forget, my sons, that the silver on my arms comes from a beast I vanquished. It is the mark of a great evil that I ended, and yet it persists within me."
Ferra paused to collect her thoughts, catching Zekarias' eyes gleaming with pride.
"I would have struggled to remove them then. I did not remove them because I had learned to depend on them. The fault was with my mind. I had relied on the augmention given to me by my metal gauntlets, so much so that the flesh beneath them was little more than a distant memory."
Another pause to collect her thoughts, remembering her second most sacred oath.
"For many decades, there was not a way for me to remove the metal from my hands. But I had sworn long ago that when the time came, and a cure found, that I would strip the unnatural silver from my arms and instruct you, my sons, to do the same. For by relying on the metal and works of the machine, we have begun to doubt the natural strength of our bodies. Hatred of what is natural is the first and greatest of the corruptions. I bid you, my sons to recant the gifts of the machine and relearn the mysteries of flesh, bone, and blood."
"Yes, indeed", Ferra said as she began to wrap up her speech, "In doing so, I shall weaken myself and the legion, but nevertheless, it must be done. For these iron hands have created great things, but they are not mine."
Ferra awkwardly left the podium, leaving most of her sons in confusion. Of course, she informed the Dreadnoughts and the Iron Fathers of her decision, and both stood behind her decision. But what if..?
"And you said I was good at speeches", Zekarias chuckled. Ferra huffed and extended her hand.
"Are you ready?"
Ferra paused before the door to her personal chambers, a whirlwind of thought racing through her mind.
"I don't know."
She gazed playfully at her Anvil, looking him up and down.
"But what I know for certain is that tonight, my hands will be of flesh and bone again. I will want to experience touch again. I will want to experience you."
Zekarias laughed as realization of what his Hammer was saying dawned on him.
"I suppose I'm not the only one doing the stroking tonight?"
Ferra shook her head and opened the door.
"Come. For in this forge, the Hammer must fall upon the Anvil and create something beautiful and natural. Indeed, for I will show you why the Iron Hands were not made for rest."

Over 150 hours, Rank 28 solo. This game has consumed me for the past 2 weeks and I haven't touched grass since. I absolutely love and hate it with passion. I can tell the devs have put lots of time and effort into this masterpiece. I don't think I've got hooked on a game and kept playing it non-stop since Elden Ring 2 years ago.
The unique experience GZW, similar to EFT, offers is more than just a milsim, it's a thrilling and risky adventure everytime setting out base, where preparation and player interaction & socialization is key to your mission's success. The detailed world-building and environment design is also next level, there's just so much story-telling hidden in plain sight of the massive open world.
That being said, a game in early access is hardly without issues. It has truly tested my patience and EQ to a level I cannot comprehend, yet I cannot end my suffering as I am unable to restrain myself from playing this amazing fucking game.
However, for the past few days, I honestly cannot fathom how many times I've gone to Blue fucking Lagoon just because the NPC wouldn't drop a stupid storage key for the quest item in that tiny room. I'm still at level 2 turncoat and banshee due to this. WHY did devs think locking quest progression behind key drops with less than 1% RNG chance is fun? I cannot understand.
There were so many times I got 180° hip fire 1-tapped by an AI aimbot 150m out after missing the initial shot.
No problem, I'll just go and pick up my gear from my dead body in Blue fucking Lagoon (Crimson btw) across half the god damn map...
All we need to do is get on a heli... NEGATIVE, ALL BIRDS ARE IN THE A.. FUCK YOU
Oh here's my body after searching for 69 years, why is it sinked to the ground and unlootable though?
forget about the body though because...
BAM! GPU dump crash bitch! Wanna get back in?
NAH, SERVER CRASH!!! BITCH!
Rinse & repeat I went from 100k to 10k cash losing money faster than in fucking Vegas. Yeah, I know farming is easy late-game, but the experience ain't fun like this.
Yeee rant over. Still gonna keep playing to torture myself.
Btw, suggestion: Please no player-drivable cars, I'm down for ground transport driven by the AI. Don't want to get TK'd by a drunk driver without a license.

For context, I (F22) was on Boo to make friends (on friends mode, not dating mode) as I am an international student in Perth. About 2 weeks ago, I matched with a (China)Chinese guy (M32) who claimed to have been living in Sydney for almost a decade after graduating from university there. The starting conversation was very normal, nothing out of the usual. After chatting for a day, he suggesting moving over to Whatsapp and asked for my number. I was alert at that point and asked: "How would I know if you weren't going to scam me? Why don't you give me your number instead?" To which, he did. So we moved over to Whatsapp to chat.
FYI, Mandarin is not my first language – it's my mother tongue, so I'm not as fluent. He mentioned that he can understand English, but his understanding is limited for some words and the context the words are being used in. Completely understandable, that's how Mandarin is to me. As he's more comfortable in Mandarin, he asked to practice my Mandarin with him – no red flags yet.
The conversation flowed normally, not much flirting, just getting to know one another. Hobbies, plans for the future, differences between Perth and Sydney. He claims that he works in real estate development, and only goes into the office once a week (sounds too good to be true but okay). Said he studied foreign economics and trade, then an MBA in university. Again, nothing crazy or alarming.
It's now the 3rd day, I decide to sus this guy out, and ask why's he still single at age 32 since typically for Chinese, parents would chase their children to get married. He says his parents did chase him to get married, but can't do anything since he's in Sydney, and that he prefers to meet a partner in a natural way than an arranged marriage. That's when he starts flirting a bit – "the biggest takeaway from Boo is you." Then, we chatted about hobbies, etc.
I asked, "if you could turn back time, what would you change?" Him: "I wouldn't change much but if I could turn back time I would purchase all the bitcoin on the market back then and sell it now" Me: "I've been interested in crypto but never had the courage to get into it" Him: "Hahaha, the cryptocurrency and blockchain fields are the most important part of the future market and will replace the traditional financial market"
We started chatting about bitcoin, but nothing alarming.
I jokingly said, "Wait till I earn some money, then I'll purchase some" Him: "When the time comes, I can teach you. Also, getting started with cryptocurrency does not require you to have a lot of funds. There's no restriction" 1/2🚩 Me: "Sure! If we're still talking by then" Him: "I'm not going to disappear, if nothing happens to me I'll still be here for the next 10 years 🤣" Me: "How would I know, haha? We met online" Him: "My feelings are filled with anticipation for you"
He started flirting with me more and more, talking about life, food, the conversation was going great. By now, it's the 4th day, and we had a conversation about food (as usual). I asked him what he had for dinner and he said he got takeout. Him: "If I had the motivation I'd cook, but I've been feeling lazy lately. But maybe if you were in Sydney I'd have more motivation to cook" Me: "What if I'm in Melbourne?" Him: "That's fine too, it's not that far" After more chatting... Me: "I'm only going to Melbourne though, not Sydney" (I'm heading to Melbourne in June) Him: "Then let's meet in Melbourne. I have an apartment there"
Just to be careful, I did not tell him when I would be flying over there, and at this point, he still does not know my full name. I joked with him about me possibly bring an elderly grandpa, or him being one, and pulling the "My mum says I shouldn't be talking to strangers". He replies, "Then don't make any friends 🤣 They're all strangers." He changes the topic because obviously that came off a little passive-aggressive. 1/2🚩
It's now the 5th day, after chatting about our interests, he asks me what I was doing during the weekend as he wanted to teach me about crypto. 🚩 I said, "I have no money" Him: "Well, if you have no money then you should earn some 🤣" Me: "I know, but crypto is dangerous" Him: "There's always a danger in everything, but when you expose yourself to it and learn, you'll understand it better" Me: "Yes and no" Him: "One more thing I have to tell you, you have to buy crypto when you're first starting out if not you can't learn it at all" Me: "I don't want to do that now, I'm okay with chatting about it, but I don't want to start now" Him: "It's your own decision, I just have to make sure you're aware before starting" Me: "Thanks for being honest about it, if not I'd feel like this is a crypto scam, not saying that you are" Him: "It's better to be honest about things." He changed the topic to food (not in a abrupt manner, but quite naturally)
Another day passed, and he went out drinking with friends. After returning home, he seemed to be a little hyper and tipsy, but I don't think he was drunk. I asked for a picture of him drunk because I thought it'd look funny, and he sent it over in 4min. Then, I mustered up my courage to voice call him to which there was no answer, but after 2min, he called back. The call lasted 38sec because I chickened out. To me, this confirmed that he was a legitimate person, not an AI that I was chatting with, and he most likely would be who he said he was. (But with that being said, it is also possible for him to be using a voice changer or whatever.)
After that night, it had been one week of chatting daily, and his texting was the same as usual, flirty but not overbearing. I had been out partying with the girls for a friend's birthday and I got home at 7am in the morning. I had spent the night watching out for my girls as you know, clubbing can be scary at times – the girlies drunk making out with others and all, the usual. As I was telling him about the crazy that went down that night, he said, "as long as nothing happened to you, that's all that matters, if not I'd be heartbroken" Me: "Why?🤣" Him: "Do you still need to ask why?" Me: "Well, if anything happened, then we just cut off this connection, hahaha, anyway we've only met for a few days" Him: "....." Me: "It's realistic" Him: "Is it?" Me: "Huh?" Him: "Rest well at home" Me: "Are you upset?" Him: "Not so far as to be upset about it" Me: "Well, think about it, we've only met a few days, and it's not as if you know if I have a good personality or a bad personality" Him: "If you put in effort to understand, you can actually discover many details" Me: "Then what kind of person do you think I am?" Him: "A realistic and rational person"
And then... I changed the topic because this conversation was getting a bit too deep for me.
It's the 9th day. My friends were really curious interested in this guy that I was chatting with and they wanted to hear his voice (so did I) to confirm his identity. So, childishly, we plotted for me to 'accidentally' leave my phone charging on my friend's table while I went to the bathroom, they unlocked my phone and called him to ask him who he was, then when I returned I'd snatch my phone back. He picked up, it was a 22sec call before I snatched my phone back and ended the call because I was way too embarrassed. He asked, "What happened?" Me: *explains the plot* Him: "Why's your phone unlocked?" Me: "It's locked but my friends know my PIN" Him: "Hahaha, change it" 🚩 Me: "Sorry for the trouble" Him: "It's fine, text me when you're back" A while later.... Me: "I'm back in my room" (I live in a dormitory) *Him asking how my friends know who to call, me explaining that we're together all the time, they know that we've been chatting* Him: "No privacy at all 🤣 They probably saw our entire conversation" Me: "It's okay, they read Mandarin really slow, don't worry 😂" Him: "Babe, you should learn how to protect yourself" Me: "Then when I'm speaking to you don't I need to protect myself?" Him: "Of course" Me: "Anyway, why do I need to hide anything?" 🚩(Can't tell if it's because he's older? That's why he thinks like that?) Him: "You don't care about your own privacy?" Me: "I do" Him: "I think boundaries between friends are important. I'm not mad, I just feel that if your friends can just take your phone, unlock your pin, and call me, wouldn't you be angry?" Me: "But this friend group is like my family" Him: "Your phone is like the last layer of yourself, you need to learn how to take care of yourself" Me: "Well they're just scared I'll get hurt and cheated" Him: "Cheated what?" Me: "They've seen me at my worst" Him: "Cheat you for sex or money? Rest assured, in this lifetime I'll never borrow money from you 🤣" Me: "We don't know if you're a real person either" Him: "Then am I or am I not?" Me: "Probably?" Him: "Really? The word probably?" *more conversation, blah blah*
Then it ended with him confessing that he likes me.
It's the 10th day. The flirting has been amped up and of course I can feel it, he starts calling me babe more, and talking about how it's normal for couples to hug. Of course, I was like "Oh? We're already a couple?" Him: "Aren't we heading in that direction?" Me: "Well that depends on your performance" Him: "If I turned you into a little rich lady, wouldn't you be happier?" Now, he's pushing about crypto again, and if I tried it once, I'd understand. Then, I confronted him, "Why'd you keep asking me about crypto?" Him: "Didn't you say you were interested?" Me: "Yeah I did, but I don't want to randomly start" Him: "How's that considered randomly starting?" Me: "Well, I don't know you well, and it's not as if we've been longtime friends. Also, there's a lot of scams on Boo, especially crypto scams. We've only been talking for a week, how much can I even trust you?" Him: "The decision is still yours to make, but I won't bring it up again" Me: "If I misunderstood you, I apologise. I can chat with you about crypto if it's your interest but I don't want to start now" Him: "We don't have to chat about crypto, there's no point talking about it" Me: "If you feel that I have no interest in crypto and would like to stop talking to me, that's completely understandable" Him: "There's no link between the two" Me: "I mean, some people feel that when there's no common topic, the conversation won't work. People have different dealbreakers." Me: "Have you eaten?"
GHOSTED. So, naturally, I thought he was now 100% a scammer (although it's only been a day). From what I know, he hasn't been active on Boo, his Follower count dropped but his Love count increased a bit. Honestly, everything he's said checks out, the timing under his name is Sydney timezone, his location checks out. Searched his images on Google and the Chinese search engines, nothing comes up.
I thought he blocked me because I sent him, "So you really blocked me just like that? 🤣" on Boo and Whatsapp and it was only a single tick on Whatsapp, which means he didn't receive the message. But turns out, he didn't block me... I was overthinking it. I was so sure he was a scammer, I reported his Boo account... 🙊 He replied after 5hr, "I've got a fever" and when I asked if he was fine, no reply. I am confused. Is he a scammer? Or am I just overthinking it? Did I piss him off perhaps? 🤣
Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have. Please help a confused girl out 🤣

The final straw happened today.
I asked him about the song, told him I know he posted it for a reason. He ofc denied it. I know it is emotional manipulation. He can deny all he wants, I know him too well.
Messages back and forth, devolving pretty quickly from him being sad and lost and being upset at the situation to how it is my fault, my behavior Yada Yada Yada. Kept my words non confrontational and honest. Reminded him again he is splitting and he was the aggressor. Made sure to clearly explain our experiences are different. Ofc no accountability on his end.
Threw out some details that need to be dealt with. Was then called a narcissist for wanting my things and money. Probably didn't help that I step by factual step reminded him exactly what my experience was.
He then proceeded to claim he told his therapist everything and that she essentially said it was okay because he was reacting and felt threatened.
I had to repeat that back: You're telling me you told your counselor you physically threatened me and that she said that was okay. That is highly unlikely
His reply: Yep because i didnt actually do anything but react to your outburst of which youve done repeatedly. and i felt theatened as i was driving. and i did not actually follow through
This certainly does not sound correct to me dear reader....it sounds like a distorted version or an outright lie.....
He did say once over the past few weeks that nothing can be changed because I told my therapist...he didnt finish the thought..I do wonder what was actually said, although it is none of my business. I do not care I was there and I know what happened. And he doesn't even have the time line right in his version. I am tempted to finally email her with this. I have it in writing now that he is manipulating the narrative. I might. Im gonna talk to my therapist first.
Anyhoooo, after expressing my experience and asking for my property and money, I ofc got called a narcissist full of shit gross ugly whatever. The whole time as I was stating all I want is respect and decency while he is still in the house and we will just avoid each other.
Then, after all the vitriol and venom, a half passed apology and thanking me for everything I've done. 🙄
He was gone when I came home, no clue where and I do not care. I will move his shit to the garage when I have the energy.
And the only thing he did was remove his own pictures from the walls.......if that doesn't scream narcissist I do not know what does.....
I am completely and utterly done. Via con Dios you poor thing. If you can't make it with me, I'm pretty sure you don't have much of a chance. Everything you do is gonna fail, and it will be by your own hand as always. You've forgotten what the world is like without me, you're only mirroring me after all. But you never really absorbed the lessons, just distorted them for your own needs. The universe will sort it out. This I know for a fact. It always does.
And that dear reader, is the end. YE who enter here abandon all hope. save yourself some time and energy, if you're questioning whether it will work out or if you should ever expect things to change, that's a no from me dog. It will always be something and it will always be your fault.

[2.2 Main story spoilers, please only read if you have finished the story. I have spoilered the first three paragraphs to prevent people from unwittingly spoiling themselves.]

I've read many posts in this subreddit objecting to Sunday's philosophy on the basis that Sunday's ideals deprive other inhabitants of Penacony of their free will. I think that this does not strike at the heart of why one should object to Sunday's principles. I happen to have some formal training on the subject, so I will try my best to explain why Sunday's beliefs are objectionable. It is important to not simply get the direction of our opinions correct, but also the reason for believing the way we do correct as well.
In this post, I will address>! Sunday's !!Sunday's!< arguments -- we can look at this post for example. Using concepts from real-world political science scholarship, we can find that Sunday's arguments are not morally wrong. I will proceed to provide actual criticisms of Sunday's arguments after addressing our intuitive feelings to agree withSunday.
A key assumption I make here is that we agree with>! Sunday!!Sunday !!Sunday!< makes a critical misstep in execution that undermines the legitimacy of his entire plan. I'll explain it in the following sections.

Decomposing Sunday's Philosophy: Two principles

Sunday's philosophy can be broken down into two main principles: (1) people should not have to suffer because of their bodily constitution/environment/wealth; and (2) people should have the freedom to use their free time however they like, to achieve their own goals. I'll refer to (1) as the "Firefly principle", and (2) as the "Weekend principle".
Intuitively, we may find that there is nothing wrong with these two principles I've mentioned. This is why we might feel like we should agree with Sunday's ideals. How do we justify our feelings using robust academic concepts?
We can look at this through the idea of "negative" and "positive" liberty by scholar Isiah Berlin. This is the idea that freedom can be defined in two forms: (1) freedom from interference by others (including the environment); and (2) freedom to do things by being empowered with the means to do a given thing.

Negative freedom and the Firefly principle

We'll start with negative freedom and how it is promoted by the "Firefly principle". Basically, Sunday's argument is that people will be more free if they are removed from constraints of health, social status and wealth. Intuition suggests that this is correct, and we are right to follow that intuition. No one should have suffer more than others because they're born into worse circumstances. The famous social justice philosopher John Rawls would say that this suffering due to circumstances not of our own making is arbitrary and unfair.
People affected by their circumstances enjoy less freedom than others because they need to work hardework longecope with more challenges in order to simply live. This extra strain, from factors they cannot control, can be considered interference on a given person. They are forced to suffer the reductions in resources (time, money, etc.) in order to deal with the interference. I call this the Firefly principle because Firefly is the example Sunday uses when talking about this. Firefly is forced to deal with Entropy Loss Syndrome inherent to her circumstances of birth against her will, and has stated that she'd lead a far different life if she weren't bound to her circumstances. The way these circumstances of health, social status and wealth affect a person, against their will, directly contradicts the idea of negative liberty and being free from interference.
On the other hand, Sunday's proposal of removing this factors is convincing because we can see that it really increases the negative freedom of all people. They can reclaim resources that would otherwise be lost to the effects of interference from their circumstances of (lacking) health, social status and wealth. Assuming that we all believe that a greater freedom is preferable to a more limited one, it is clear that Sunday's philosophy, or at least the Firefly principle, is desirable.
In sum, the injustice of this arbitrariness makes us feel that the constraints of health, social status and wealth are morally bad; it is why we feel repulsed by it and in turn attracted to Sunday's ideas.

Positive Freedom and the Weekend principle

We move on to the idea of positive freedom and how we get more of it by following the Weekend principle. The one line that is most striking to most players is Sunday's example of an eternal succession of weekends to replace the working week. This is actually an extreme example which has overshadowed the underlying political position that Sunday holds, which led him to say such a thing. Sunday just wants to give people more resources -- in terms of time -- so that they may be free to pursue their life goals/ambitions. In political science, we call this the "life plan": it refers to what people want to do with their lives, given the resources that they have.
The relationship between the Weekend principle and positive freedom is a simple one. Being given time empowers one (i.e. increases one's positive freedom) because one has access to more resources to accomplish more of what they want. Again, intuitively, we see this as a good thing. We want people to be able to better pursue their dreams, to do what they want to do. To do things requires resources, and Sunday's proposal frees up more resources for people to use on their life goals.

Sunday's problem -- Unilateralism

There is, in fact, nothing wrong with Sunday's philosophy insofar as we consider these two principles. It is the reason that March and Himeko mention that it is difficult to refute Sunday's philosophy in the scene right before the first time you fight Dominicus. If we appreciate freedom and believe it to be desirable for all, Sunday's proposal is morally consistent with our want and appreciation of widespread freedoms.
We set aside the question of whether something done in a dream is as real as something done in reality. It is my belief that the dream/reality thing muddles the scholarly debate regarding Sunday's philosophy, since it is conventionally difficult for one to believe that something done in a dream is more significant that something done in reality. That sort of discussion is probably better left to students of philosophy, who can better argue about the significance of dreams and reality, rather than students of political science. I will deal strictly with the political implications of Sunday's philosophy.
The main problem with Sunday's philosophy is unilateralism. People have been right to point out that Sunday "did not ask for consent". In scholarly terms, we call this despotic/undemocratic behavior. Sunday has not consulted with anyone; he has not engaged in public deliberation; he is using power to enforce the system of government he wants.
Lack of consent is a big issue of course, but a greater concern is dictatorship. Sunday claims that he will be the only person awake, or something along those lines, but it is really a fancy way of saying that he will be sole dictator to dreamland, albeit a utopian one. Ancient philosophers like Plato and Aristotle might actually agree with Sunday's ideas: they had a deep distrust of the follies of the masses, and would rather a capable hand steer the ship of state. This is likely the role Sunday envisions himself in. That is, Sunday sees himself as the enlightened person who will manage paradise in its inhabitants' stead.
The problem arises from the fact that there is no democratic consultation. Classic arguments against dictatorships will apply to Sunday: what happens if he makes an error in judgment? What if he is unable to adequately respond to peoples' needs, even with the power and networking of The Family and its members combined? These are very pragmatic issues that any ruling organization will face, which I imagine will be an even greater problem for Sunday's lonesome.
To tie this back to our objective of promoting freedom, we observe that under Sunday's arrangement, no-one is guaranteed their freedom under Sunday's dictatorship. One may consider themselves free when Sunday's management aligns with their own interests and objectives, but we cannot guarantee the continuity of this alignment into the future. Those who have their goals misaligned with Sunday's vision of utopia will find themselves necessarily unfree, and with no recourse to alter, replace or escape Sunday's government. The prospect of becoming this group of people who are not adequately represented by Sunday undermines Sunday's entire project of increasing the freedom of the weak.

Conclusion (or TL;DR I guess)

Not only does Sunday face significant problems in running Penacony as its sole manager, he also runs the risk of being unrepresentative due to his unilateralism. Inhabitants of Penacony cannot be assured that Sunday will remain a benevolent ruler.
We know that he would likely be one because we have glimpses into his mind through the omniscient viewpoint of the player. However, no-one else in the story can be sure that Sunday will remain a responsive governor of Penacony. Further, there are no accountability mechanisms to depose Sunday and replace him with another leader should he turn out to be tyrannical or incompetent down the road.
In the field of Political Science, this is the problem of centralizing governmental powers. Generally, we want a government that can respond to the needs of its people. Many systems of government will try to avoid putting too much power in a single person, such that there may be checks and balances that will provide some way for people to hold government accountable for their actions and competence. Being able to choose one's government and its policies is a very important freedom. Sunday's benevolent dictatorship fails this requirement.
So how do we fix this? I highlighted the Firefly principle and the Weekend principle because they cohere very closely to real life ideas of socialism. The idea that people should be free from their circumstances, and should be free to apply themselves to whatever life plans they wish to pursue are key tenets of socialism. The only difference is that under socialism, people will decide societal priorities and use of social resources together in democratic fashion. It's entirely fine when people decide, out of their own volition, that they should use resources in a certain way that enhances their freedom. It is, however, problematic when this decision is done unilaterally, such as in Sunday's philosophy.
Outside of his dictatorial tendencies, Sunday really promotes some classic socialist ideas that are intended to address the moral badness of society's failure in addressing social inequalities and peoples' needs for self-fulfillment. He just needs more time to think over his philosophy and execute on it in a manner that is more democratic.
As a final word and to provide some further reading for those that have become interested in political science analysis, I recommend reading "Why not socialism" by scholar G.A. Cohen for a political-philosophical justification of Sunday's philosophy. It's a pretty short read (~20 pages?) and will help us better understand our intuitive agreement with Sunday's philosophy.

First time user of Kubuntu (and Linux in general) here, I hope I get a noob-friendly solution for my problem.
More details:
On my first install of Kubuntu, I changed both of my monitors' refresh rate at the same time. This caused both of my monitors to go black and I couldn't do anything else. When I rebooted, only my primary monitor was working, but the system did detect that both of my monitors were plugged in. Additionally, my primary monitor was locked to 60hz after the reboot. Feeling like I had fucked up a bunch of stuff aside from the display settings, I opted to reinstall Kubuntu. Now on my second install, I tried changing my refresh rate again but on my secondary monitor only, and it still turned black. However, I was able to fix it by changing the refresh rate again to what it was before the screen went black.

I’m not too sure if this is the right place to post this. Hell, I don’t know if anyone’s even gonna see it. I want to start this off by saying that this story isn’t to be taken lightly. I don’t want you to read this and try to copy what is done, instead take it as a warning. A warning to never play this game, a warning I wish I had gotten before I made that mistake.
I lived almost my entire life in the middle of Delaware, if you forgot that was a state I wouldn’t blame you. In my neighborhood there were 3 kids I always played with everyday. Kyle, Jimmy, and Seth. Our houses were close enough to each other that we played together whenever we had the chance.
We did all the typical things a couple 13 year old boys would do. Swimming in the local pool, going to the Walmart and buying nothing, or just hang in one of our basements and being jack-asses. It was almost a Disney-like childhood. Sleepovers were nothing new for us, I think we had one almost every weekend. What was new was not having any parents there to watch us.
Seth offered to host the next one and included that his parents were gonna be gone for the night. They were staying down at the beach and told Seth it would be fine for him to invite us over. Fine for him, not so much for the rest of us. I think me and the other guys pleaded and begged our parent’s multiple times to let us go.
Our parents knew each other and trusted us but the idea of 4 pre-pubescent boys being alone in a house was any parents worse nightmare. Somehow, by the grace of god, they agreed the night before. After all this time, I still wish they had denied us. Maybe things would have ended differently.
I wanna tell you about the events that happened that night that changed me into who I am. It changed my life and every families that was involved in it. This is the night I played Hide and Seek with my friends.
“Hide and Seek? Won’t that get boring with just 4 of us?” I asked suspiciously as I took a handful of Doritos from the bowl on the table. It was about 10:30pm when Kyle suggested we play a game so we could try and stay up later.
“Yeah man and besides, we have an Xbox.” Jimmy pointed out. Seth came walking down the basement with some sodas in hand, almost dropping the cans
“What are you guys talking about? You better not be thinking of touching my controller with your greasy hands Jimmy, not after last time.”
“It was an accident! I got you a new one.” Jimmy responded before chuckling a bit.
“No guys, I saw this on the internet a few nights ago. We have to try it.” Kyle said. He almost sounded like he was pleading with us.
Kyle was always the kind of kid to believe in spooky things. Ghost, werewolves, demons. You name it, Kyle probably believed it. I remember one time he somehow got us all to go in the woods with him during the winter to look for dog people that a YouTuber said was out near us. We all got the flu after that.
“Oh god, another one of these? Is it gonna be like that dog thing again?” Seth chimed in.
“It’s not like that, this one is real. I promise dude.” Kyle seemed genuine about it. I almost felt bad as the other guys called him stupid for it.
“Alright man, we try your game for a bit. Then if it’s a bust, we play Xbox.” I suggested. Kyles face lite up as he got some paper out of his bag.
“Who said you were in charge of deciding when to play my Xbox?” Seth questioned. I just shushed him as Kyle got some more stuff out of his bag. Candles, lighters, a knife. I would have hated to see what would happen if we said no to his idea.
“Alright, first. We gotta turn all the lights off. Not a single one can be on during the game.” We looked at each other before we went off to get the house started. I had been in Seth’s house almost as much as mine but there’s strangeness to it when the lights were all off. We got back to the basement where we found Kyle lighting the candles and placing them on the ground around the paper. As we sat around him I could see some words on the paper. “Ready or Not, here it comes”
“What’s that for?” I pointed as Kyle placed the last candle down.
“That’s to start the game. I saw these Indian guys play it and they said you have to start the game just like this or it doesn’t work.” Kyle answered as he slowly pulled the knife up and turned to face us.
“Now, we have to cut ourselves.”
“Like Sarah from home room?” Jimmy chuckled
“I thought that was a rumor?” Seth remarked as he leaned towards Jimmy
“Guys! Focus! Just a small prick on your finger. Then you put it on the paper.” Kyle demanded as he slowly pressed the knife tip into his finger
“This feels very, extreme. Is this safe to play?” I asked, seeing Kyle whence as blood slowly pooled on the top of his finger
“I think so, the guys seemed like they were having fun when they did it.” He held the knife towards me next, the guys watched as I reluctantly took the knife and plucked my finger. I did encourage us to play this for Kyle sake, I couldn’t chicken out now. The other two did the same, Jimmy had more tears then the rest of us but when he finished he handed the knife back to Kyle.
“Now?” Seth asked, rubbing his finger on his Pokémon pajama bottoms.
“Now, repeat after me.” We all listened to Kyle and repeated
“ 1, 2, 3. Ready or not, come find me.” We stared at each other. Silence filled the basement as our eyes kept darting to see if anything happened.
“Do you hear that?” Seth whispered We listened as the most quiet fart escaped him. He fell on his back and laughed. Jimmy joined him and so did I. We laughed and laughed, I looked to see if Kyle found it as amusing but was met with sadness. He looked almost heart broken, I knew he lived for these kinda things and for it to not work most have broken him. I moved to him and smiled
“Hey, at least we didn’t have to sit out in negative degrees to get results this time huh?” He smiled slight back
“Yeah I guess you’re right. I don’t know how those guys made it look so convincing.”
“CGI probably, my dad says that’s how most things are done like that.” Seth said as he got up to go turn the light back on. Before he hit the switch, a loud thud filled the room. I’ll never forget the look on his face as he rushed back to the floor where we were all sitting.
“W-what was that?” Jimmy whispered to me. I didn’t know what to say until Kyle reluctantly chimed in.
“It’s him, the seeker.” We sat still as another thud could be heard. Like it was right above us.
“What the fuck dude? S-Seth? Did you invite someone else over? Duncan or Josh maybe?” Jimmy was frantic with his questions as his eyes filled with tears.
“No, it’s him.” Kyle answered before Seth could respond.
“Who?” I asked
“The seeker. The person who plays the game with us.”
“Well tell him we don’t wanna play anymore.” Seth demanded, making sure to keep his voice down.
“We can’t, they said he plays until everyone is found.”
“What do you mean until we’re found?” I asked, I kept looking at the stairs. My brain was trying to wrap around what was happening while also trying to keep reason in it.
“It’s like hide and seek. We play until we’re all found or he can’t find us.” Kyle answered
“Ok, let’s go get found so the game can be over.” Seth tried to stand before Kyle pulled him down.
“No, we don’t wanna be found. Bad things happen if we’re found.” Kyle looked at the carpet as he said it. The thud got louder, almost like it was searching the house.
“Ok, ok. Then we should just stay down here right? If we hide down here it won’t find us….h-how long do we have to hide man?” I stuttered as I waited for Kyle to answer.
“I…I don’t know.”
We sat there in silence, thuds and crashes from upstairs made the silence somehow louder. I had wished it was all a prank. Seth and Jimmy loved pulling those and Kyle was usually the target for them. But I knew it wasn’t that, I knew this was real. I don’t know how it was but at that moment there was something upstairs, tearing the house apart trying to find us.
We stayed like that until Seth finally spoke “Let’s run.”
“What?” Kyle mumbled out, his face covered by his hands. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.
“Let’s run, the doors not to far from the basement entrance. We unlock it and run to a neighbors.” Seth looked for nods or any sign of agreement. Jimmy nodded and I slowly shook yes. I looked at Kyle, grabbing his leg and squeezing it.
“Come on man, we’re definitely faster than it. We’ll be out before it even sees us.” I smiled at him.
He looked up and slowly smiled, nodding. We all slowly moved to the base of the basement stairs. Looking down into a dark basement is scary, but looking up into a dark house is another whole kind of fear. I don’t know how long we took going up those steps but it felt like ages, we were slowly ascending into what could be our end. Seth held the doorknob and just stared at it. I knew he didn’t wanna be the one to open it, to potentially be the one to see what ever it was that was on the other side. I scooted around Jimmy and slowly turned to knob.
The door silently opened, the house was almost pitch dark. The only light we had was from the moon herself, shining into the windows and illuminating the destroyed house. He quietly but quickly moved towards the front door. I peered into the living room to see the chairs and couches turned upside down, some side table doors ripped off they hinges.
“Hurry up man.” Jimmy urged Seth on as he fumbled slightly with the deadbolt. I looked to see Kyle slight behind, close to the basement door. I moved over to get him ready to run
“Let’s go Kyle, we gotta get-“ I almost finished my words as I watched his face turn from scared to horrified. I turned slightly to see Jimmy on the floor crawling away from the door.
I’m not sure even after all this time how to describe what we saw that night. I had wished it was just a man. Some man that was in the house with us but it sadly wasn’t. The best I can try and give a description is to think of a Picasso painting. It had a crookedness to it. Its arm jagged and legs crumbled as it towered over Seth. Seth didn’t move, he didn’t try and fight. All he could do was stand there and look up to see its eyes peering down at him. It picked Seth up and like a rag doll threw him into the living room. A mean and disgusting noise came from his body as he hit the wall of the fireplace. I quickly got Jimmy to his feet and Kyle to snap out of his gaze. Me and Kyle ran to the bathroom as Jimmy made his to the kitchen. I locked the door as I tried to catch my own heart from jumping out my chest. “J-Jimmy? Where-“
My question was shortly answered as I heard Jimmy whimpering and crying outside the room. I unlocked the door and peaked out the crack. I watched “it” linger its way towards him and all I could hear was wet sounds. I quickly shut the door and relocked it. My mind didn’t really process what had just happened in what couldn’t have been more than 3 minutes. My two friends I had been with almost my entire life were gone, just like that. I sat on the cold tile floor as I listened to the thudding from outside. My breathing was dull as I looked to see Kyle shaking by the toilet. I slowly moved my self over and gave him a hug. I knew what he was thinking, I knew the horrible things he was saying to himself in his mind. I didn’t know how to tell him that what was happening wasn’t his fault. I’m not sure that even now I could find the words to tell him that.
“We’ll be fine, we just gotta stay here. It won’t find us.” I tried to reassure him.
“No, it will find us. We can’t stay here.”
“Kyle, Seth and Jimmy are dead. We can’t go back out there and run. I don’t know why we thought it would work.”
“No we…we…I need to get to the basement.” Kyle said, he looked up at me.
“Why? It’s a dead end there. It will-“
“Maybe, I can try and end the game. Rip the paper up…something, I don’t know.” I didn’t know what to say.
On one hand it was the only idea we had besides hiding and waiting to be found. On the other, I couldn’t bring myself to put that hope in his mind. To encourage him just to watch as it fails, He knew this as he came to his own conclusion.
“I’ll go down there, and you head for the coat closet. If it doesn’t work I’ll run back up and I’ll head there to hide with you. Ok?” He nodded to himself. I just stared at him as I nodded back slight. We stood up and slowly unlocked the door. It wasn’t anywhere we could see, which made it all more frightening. We slowly made our way to the basement door
“Good Luck” I whispered to him. He smiled and went our separate ways in the house. I quickly got in the coat closet that was almost directly in front of the basement door, and Kyle made his way down stairs.
That was the last I saw of Kyle, it wasn’t long after I heard loud thudding outside the closet door that quickly went down the stairs. All I could do was sit there, and listen as I heard the silent screams and the pounding of flesh over and over and over again. Soon the hits became more wet, and the screams became more silent.
I sat in the closet and accepted my fate. I slight covered myself with a fallen coat as I heard the thudding move around the house. It was only a matter of time before it got me, before it ripped the door open and I would be met with its horrifying figure. I looked out the slits of the closet door and saw the moon light shining through the windows.
I’m not sure when I fell asleep or even how I did. My body must have been so exhausted that it decided sleep was more important than survival. My eyes slowly opened to see daylight peering though the house. The night was gone and the day had come to save me. Although I was relieved I still forced my eyes shut. The small amount of what I saw was enough to make me do it. I saw the closet door was open, I didn’t wanna have them open as it might slowly peer from the corner and look at me. I didn’t want my last image to be that. I just kept them closed and covered my ears. And then I felt it. Thuds.
I could feel the thudding get closer, closer, closer. Two hands grabbed me, this was it. My flight or fight kicked in and I started to fight. Kicking, hitting, screaming. Anything I could think of I was doing.
“Calm down son, calm down. You’re safe.” Those words hit me like a wall, a calmness I hadn’t felt since the day before came over me. My eyes slowly opened to see the face of a young man kneeling in front of me, his hands holding my arms. He was a police officer.
“It’s gonna be alright.” He reassured me again as he slowly brought me to my feet. He walked me out of the closet and faintly said “Keep your eyes down kid, I’ll lead you out.” I think he said it more for himself, cause I knew what he didn’t want me to see.
Seth was laying in the living room, he’s body bruised from the impact with the wall and his bones broken.Jimmy was on the kitchen counter, multiple wounds and slashes were found on him. Kyle…I’m not sure what really happened to him. The reports on his body never came out. I just know I’ll never forget those sounds from when I hid in the closet.
Seth’s parents moved away almost immediately after the incident. Just left, didn’t take a single thing from that house. It was later taken down, I guess no one wanted to live in a house where something like that could happen.
I saw Jimmy and Kyles parents every once and awhile when I walked around the neighborhood. They would give me small smiles and waves and I would return them back. No more, no less. After high school I moved away for college, my parents knew why and never argued that I should stay closer.
That was a little more than 15 years ago. Few weeks back my dad called to tell me mom had passed away. He offered if I wanted to stay at home for the funeral, stay in my old room. I hesitated. I thought of that night every day for the past 15 years, never really bringing myself to wanna be back in that neighborhood. I refused and opted for a hotel a few miles away in town.
And that’s where I am now, in my bed writing my tale. I want you to take it as a warning, cause as I write this I know I’m not alone. It’s here, it’s in the closet of the hotel room. I can just make out its outline. It’s crooked legs crouching to fit inside, its arms slight poking out from some clothes, and its eyes staring at me. It knows I see it, and it knows I’m writing about that night. I’m not sure why now it decided to finish the game from all those years ago but here we are. Once I finish and close my laptop, it will kill me. My father will have to bury his son just moments after burying my mother.
I say this again, this tale is a warning. If I could I would go back and tell myself to never play that game. I would tell my parents to never let us have that sleep over. I would do everything in my power to stop that night from happening, to be able to save my friends. So please, I beg and plead to you, don’t play this game. Cause if you do, whether your ready or not…
He’s coming to find you

There's a saying in the horror genre, they always say it's all in your head or it's all a dream, but my recent experience was neither of those, it was very real, and almost cost me my life, I used to be a night person, staying up from 12am to 3am, and I would take walks on occasion, but never again after what happened a couple weeks ago.
So one night, I decided to go for a walk during 12am to clear my mind over a fight I had with one of my ex friends, I walked down the small suburb near my town, I knew the town like the back of my hand, once I got to the park, I saw something that wasn't there before, a tall 18ft statue with red hair, big pupils and barely visible irises, a wide grin, and the statue had it's hand raised, like it's welcoming the guests of the park, I walked past the statue and I swear, in the corner of my eye, I could see it staring directly at me, but when I turned to look, it looked back ahead, I was getting weirded out already, so I decided to head back home.
I decided to take the long way home, near the grocery store and up the hillside road, once I reached the top of the hill, I started hearing some sort of footsteps, booming footsteps, like a giant or big creature, I shrugged it off to be my mind playing tricks on me, but oh boy... It wasn't my mind, once the footsteps got closer, I groaned in annoyance and turned around, expecting to see nothing or a crazy person, but it was neither of those, it was the statue, slumped down to my level, staring directly at me, I slowly backed away, scared shitless, then what happened next made my skin completely pale, it's mouth opened, still maintaining that smile, and I saw teeth... Razor sharp teeth, at least 3 rows of it, this thing wasn't a living statue... It was a legit monster, it suddenly screeched at me and I knew I had to start running, so that's what I did.
I could hear the booming footsteps of the creature growing closer and closer, I was scared for my entire life, running as fast as my legs could take me, suddenly I was pushed by the creature, which led to my arm getting scraped against the pavement, I groaned in pain and held my arm tightly, I looked up at the towering monster, as it planned to eat me alive, but before it could, my arm hit a rock that was beside me, with no time to lose, I grabbed the rock and yelled at the monster. "Asta La Vesta bitch!" I threw the rock at the monster, hitting it square in the face, it roared in pain and fell back, now's my chance, I ran back to my house with all the energy in my body remaining, once I entered my house, I locked every entrance of the house so the monster wouldn't break in.
I slumped onto the couch, out of breath, tired, and thirsty, I had time to think to myself. "What the hell was that thing, why did it attack me?!" I said to myself, I looked at my now bleeding arm from the pavement scraping, I sighed, got up, and headed to the bathroom, quickly though because I heard the creature's booming footsteps, once I got done patching myself up, I went to the kitchen to get a can of diet coke, once I did, I heard thumping on the window, I was scared to look, but a sudden bang made me, trembling, I turned to the window, and of course, the monster was there, still maintaining that sinister smile, it simply waved at me, then walked off into the woods, I quickly closed the curtains and hid in my bedroom, not coming out till daytime.
Once the sun beamed through my certain, I felt a little relieved, then took a 30 minute nap, once I woke up, I had a news report notification, my instinct was to ignore it, but the contents of the news report made me stop myself, the image was the monster, laying on it's belly, blood on it's skin, the article headline read "Statue Of Park Found Bleeding And Laying Behind The Grocery Store." After I read the whole article, I heard a knock on the door, hesitant, I went to check it out, I noticed a piece of paper near the door, I assumed it slid it underneath the door, still hesitant, I picked it up and read what was on it, it only said 4 words... "Bow To The Silencer..."
I will never be a night person ever again...

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Designed for temporary stays, non-immigrant visas cater to diverse needs, including:

• Tourism (B-1/B-2): Ideal for sightseeing, visiting family and friends, or attending short-term events like conferences.
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• Work Visa (H-1B, TN, etc.):
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  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status, allowing indefinite stay and work authorization.
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• Family-Based Immigrant Visa:
  
  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status.
  • Eligibility: U.S. citizens or permanent residents can sponsor immediate family members (spouse, unmarried children under 21). The process can be lengthy, and wait times can vary depending on the relationship and visa category.
• Diversity Visa Lottery (DV Lottery):
  
  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status if selected and the application process is completed successfully.
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Beyond the Basics: Additional Considerations
Visa processing times and fees can vary significantly depending on the visa type, country of application, and individual circumstances. It’s crucial to factor in these costs and potential delays when planning your international move.
Visa reciprocity plays a role in certain work visa categories (e.g., TN visa between the U.S., Canada, and Mexico). Understanding the reciprocity agreements between your home and destination countries can help determine your eligibility for specific work visas.
Dual citizenship allows individuals to hold citizenship in two countries simultaneously. Eligibility for dual citizenship varies by country. Researching the policies of both your home and target country is essential if this path aligns with your goals.
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So my father used to own a cabin. In fact he used to own a lot of different properties. Which I suppose is just a roundabout way of saying that we grew up with money. Where things get a bit complicated is how he actually made that money.
The line that he constantly fed us was that he was an accountant running his own firm in an office in the city. Long hours, lots of business trips. We never saw him much. And whenever we did, he always seemed tired, his eyes perpetually bloodshot, as if he were always trying to force them to stay open.
He was sent off to prison right after I’d finished my first year of college.
The sentence? Fifteen years, for washing hundreds of millions of dollars for numerous cartels. Two weeks after he’d been booked, my mother committed suicide. As it turns out, she’d been helping him out through the entire thing and was facing some time herself. I guess she didn’t want to deal with all that and took the drastic way out.
A few months later, the government had seized pretty much all his property.
All of it, except for that cabin in the woods.
It took a long time for me to feel normal again. But eventually I managed it. Went back to school and graduated with a good enough GPA which allowed me to snag some shitty office job a few months later. But it was enough to pay the bills.
Fast forward about another year and I’ve basically scrubbed that entire sequence of events out of my brain. It took a little bit of therapy, a lot of psychedelics, but I finally did it, to the point where I was comfortable enough to go back to that cabin, the one place where I’d see my father for more than a few weeks at a time during our summer trips.
I decided to take along three of my friends from Uni - Jack, Pedro, Randy.
We drove down there at the beginning of May. The road leading to the cabin hadn’t been maintained at all and as a result, it had become borderline undrivable. I decided to save my vehicle the stress and parked in a nearby lot, leaving us about a one-and-a-half-mile trek through the woods, which really wasn’t so bad.
Our time in the cabin was pretty much spent getting drunk and stoned, and by the third night we had completely run out of food.
We decided to take the thirty minute walk over to the nearest rest stop, where I knew that there was a 24/7 diner. So we go there, eat our meals, and on the way back we notice a burning smell in the woods, as if there was a bonfire raging about nearby.
Of course that was a bit strange given that it was around 2AM. But we didn’t think too much of it at the time and we kept walking.
It was only when the smell continued to grow stronger as we got closer to the cabin that we understood something was very wrong. Soon it had become suffocating, and we could see the night sky tinged with orange in the near distance.
I felt my heart drop into my stomach and immediately I was sprinting, my worst fear realized as I reached the clearing where the cabin was located.
Completely up in flames, plumes of dark smoke blending in with the night.
It was a mix of different emotions that hit me all at once, the combination of them creating a sense of dread so deep I hadn’t thought it possible.
After reeling myself in, I called 9-1-1, with the operator telling me that the fire department would be on their way but wouldn’t be able to reach us for at least thirty minutes. The four of us walked away from the cabin in silence, getting far enough so that the smoke was no longer scratching at our throats.
Around ten minutes later, we noticed that the orange tinge in the sky had suddenly disappeared. And I mean suddenly. Like, gone in a single blink. I thought I might’ve been hallucinating, but it was clear from their expressions that my friends were seeing something similar.
Cautiously, we started making our way back towards the cabin, noticing that the smoke was no longer heavy in the air, having cleared up considerably. Once we reached the clearing, it had disappeared altogether.
I looked ahead, my brain working overtime to comprehend the sight before me. The cabin was no longer on fire. Burnt to a crisp, sure. But the raging, overwhelming flames that had been consuming it just minutes prior had somehow completely fizzled out.
The four of us looked between each other, as if to confirm we were all still seeing the same thing.
Using the flashlight on my phone to survey the damage, I found pretty much what I’d expected. Complete destruction. Absolutely zero hope of recovering anything.
I started taking some deep breaths, trying to calm myself down when I heard Pedro yelling out from the other side.
“Guys… where the fuck did this thing come from?”
We all walked over to him. Nestled in the debris was the corpse of… something. A monstrosity.
It was about the size of a bear, with the sections of its body that weren’t burnt showing pale, clammy skin with deep cuts etched throughout it, in what looked to be some kind of crude pattern. Its head had been smashed in, leaving nothing but an abnormally wide bottom jaw which was still baring long, black teeth. It had an uncountable number of long, thick arms that it was using to hold something that resembled a human infant, one that appeared to be completely unscathed, devoid of any burn marks. The longer I stared at it, the more that I was convinced I could see it breathing.
It was a bizarre enough sight to put us into a near-trance. What eventually snapped us out of it was the chanting.
It was barely noticeable at first, slowly escalating in pitch until it was clear that there were several human voices shouting in unison. Their tones were animalistic, their words strung together with just the bare beginnings of a rhythm. It sounded like they were speaking English, though I could hardly make out anything they were saying.
The strangest part though, was how quickly it was getting closer to us. Definitely not a walking pace. It was more like a sprint.
The four of us shared a quick glance between each other and immediately there was an understanding.
We ran like bats out of hell, tripping over branches, our own feet.
But eventually we reached my car, all of us scrambling to pile into it. As I was fumbling for my keys, the chanting had become deafening, to a point that hardly made sense. It sounded as if there were speakers lined up in a circle around us, all blasting that horrible noise.
And the second that I had put the keys into the ignition, things went silent. I found myself holding my breath as I looked up, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness until what I was seeing was unmistakable. Several figures standing completely still at the edge of the woods. All human-shaped but far too large to be people.
All the air being held in my lungs flooded out with one big exhale and I slammed the vehicle into drive and took a sharp turn before speeding the hell out of there, refusing to look in the rearview until we had made it into the highway.
I drove until I had reached the rest stop, which was now hosting an absurd number of police cars. I parked, got out, and approached one of the cops, asking if they were here because of the fire.
The cop shook his head. “Fire? No. Has there been a fire?”
I explained the situation with the cabin to him, deciding to leave out the creature and the chanting for the time being.
The cop nodded slowly, his expression remaining largely the same throughout.
“Alright,” he said. “We’ll look into it. And then give you an update in the morning. For tonight, just get a hotel or something.”
We exchanged numbers and I thanked him. As I began to walk away, he called out to me.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
I turned back around.
“Yeah,” I said. “Sure.”
“Do you happen to be (my dad’s name)’s son?”
For a while I just stared at him. Eventually I nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “I thought I recognized you.”
“I don’t understand,” I told him. “I’ve never seen you before.”
The cop took a deep breath before taking a quick look around. “Come here,” he said. “Come close.”
Tentatively, I did so.
“I can’t tell you everything. I don’t even know everything. But I think you should have the right to know the truth about your father. All of the stuff that’s happened here tonight, all of the shit that you’ve seen… it has something to do with him.
He took another look around before continuing. “Cartels, right? Was that the story they told you? It’s not so creative. But I guess it doesn’t have to be creative to be believable. Cause the shit that he was actually mixed up in… you would not believe unless you’ve seen it for yourself.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.
“Look, I have your number. I’ll be in touch tomorrow morning. This is something I’m curious about as well. Maybe you can give me some answers, point me in the right directions. But not here. So get out of here before people start noticing you. And stay safe.”
I didn’t feel like staying in a hotel that night, so I drove back into the city, dropping everybody off before arriving back at my own apartment.
Of course I couldn’t sleep that night, my eyes wired open into the morning as I waited for the officer to call. He still hadn’t by the time that noon rolled around and so I tried calling him instead.
No answer.
Eventually I did receive a call from the police, telling me that my father’s cabin had burned down and that it was due to a forest fire.
I told them that wasn’t possible because there had been no forest fire and that I suspected foul play and wanted it to be investigated.
“It’s already been investigated,” are the exact words that the officer told me. “Don’t worry about it. Just get in touch with insurance. Go over your options.”
And before I could say anything else, he had hung up on me.
It was a mixture of anger and curiosity that compelled me to drive back down there. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for the road leading towards the rest stop to be blocked altogether. There were two cop cars guarding the barrier, with a single officer signalling any vehicles approaching to turn around.
I pulled over to the side of the road and after some careful deliberation, I decided to get out and approach him and ask what was going on. Just to see what he might say.
When I finished the question, he stared at me for a long time. Uncomfortably long.
“Emergency construction,” is what he eventually told me.
After that encounter, I pretty much dropped trying to figure things out.
Some weird things have started happening to me since. Every night, I swear I can hear a baby crying in the apartment across from mine. The apartment that I thought had been occupied by a pair of college kids who definitely do not have children.
That cop that was supposed to call me finally did, a few nights ago. When I answered, I was met with dead silence on the other end. Nearly thirty seconds of it until the line clicked dead.
There’s an abandoned house sitting across the street from my apartment building, one that’s supposedly been there for years because the development of the store meant to take its place keeps getting delayed.
Somebody has started staring at me through its second-floor window. Whenever I catch them doing it, they’re quick to close the blinds, so I can never catch any details. But I know that the moment I turn away from it, their eyes are back on me.
I can’t confirm that any of these things are related. Whether it has anything to do with my father.
I just know that I don’t want to deal with it and that I want it to end.

tl;tr what is my life (Leaving note at the top of my post cause post is too long lol) Note 1: Didn't expect for the post to be that long. I apologize for any grammatical errors or incoherences, don't have the energy to read proof everything, took me almost 4 hours to write.
Note 2: Before you guys suggest therapy. I do believe in mental health and always wanted to go see a therapist but you hear a lot of horror stories about therapists where I live. Like a friend of mine went to see one at one point and he literally told her "you are too dramatic and you are lying. There is no way you feel the way you say you do". Plus even if I manage to find a good one they are expensive as fuck.
Note 3: Moving out isn't a solution either at the moment cause can't afford it. Plus it is hard to find somewhere to rent as a fairly young bachelor in a conservative country plus if they do rent to young people the apartments are usually falling apart, they over charge and you would end up with like 7 other roommates in a 3 bedrooms apartment.
I don't really know where to start since it is 1 am where I live and I am exhausted. But yeah, basically I think that I might not be a good person? that I might be a bit of an asshole and also a loser? I am not sure.
The situation that I am facing right now is that I am 29, jobless, 5 years into my PhD that i wanted to quit for a while now, live with my mom and aunt (I live in a place when it is normal for someone to live with their parents or family in their 20s or 30s, people usually only move out if they either get married or their job isn't close to where their parents live). I am really unhappy with my life, with how I usually handle things and with how I turned out.
I graduated university at 23, got my first job as a phone repair technician few months after graduating, got pressured into doing a PhD but at the same time I was like "why not?". Wasn't a fan of my job anyway and I haven't heard from the couple of interviews I have been to. I was excited to start doing academic research actually, but as soon as I got accepted things started going downhill. Our lab director passed away before we got assigned out subjects and supervisors, then COVID lock down, my dad passed away from COVID, my supervisor retired and I got assigned a new one that is clueless, they wouldn't let me stay at the dorms during my third year cause "of the volume of new students they received that year" according to them, decided to teach a class during the first semester of last year so I would have to stay close to our lab that entire time. I didn't make much progress. Nowadays I feel burnt out and I stopped trying. When people ask me about my PhD I lie and tell them that I am almost done. I have been to quite a few job interview during the past few years but they never called back. Had some projects in mind that were good business ideas imo but whenever I started I would never go through with them cause of the stress PhD is causing me. Never been good under pressure.
As for my relationships, I will start with my parents. We have had my fair-chair of big and small arguments in my teen and adult years, but I have always had a good relationship with them and I loved them. Now, since my dad passed away my mom, sister and I became really close (or closer than we already were). Then my aunt moved in with us a little while after that (due to some personal stuff), everything was good and well at first but the thing is I live in a conservative country, in a very conservative city and my aunt is super old school and she got an influence over my mom who has become super controlling which caused some friction between us for the past few years but especially during the past year and it has gotten worse during the past couple of days (well I wouldn't put the issue entirely on her cause my mom has always nosy and controlling but she would stop if you talked to her). Now when I say controlling and nosy I mean she is trying to control everything even what I wear, and whenever I am talking to the phone she always comes into my room to know who I am talking to. Sometimes she acts like she is disciplining a 15 yo and not talking to a grown man. I have always given up a small part of my independence since my parents were sheltering me, I have had a couple of friends telling me I shouldn't when we were younger and I was always like "nah, it's fine". Well now that I am trying to get 100% of my independence and autonomy back and receiving a big push back I am starting to understand what they meant.
Now to my friends. Well, I should start by saying that during my teen years I did have friends but I had a lot of difficulties connecting with people or knowing how to react during social situations which also lead to me being bullied quite a lot up until I was around 19/20. During my uni years and early 20s things have gotten better all of a sudden, I was less shy, it was easier to talk to people and to know how to react to different situations, it was easier to make new friend and my relationships with the couple of friends I made during middle school and high school was great. Even my old bullies became respectful and would stop for a chat whenever they saw me. It got me thinking "maybe that's how it is like to turn into an adult" at some point. Now I have made quite a few friends from a couple of groups I hang out with, and I like to think that I am pretty close to most of them or at least was. The thing is that over the years some of them either criticize my quirks or tease me which I always thought was fine, I would either answer them back jokingly, take their criticism seriously and try to work on myself depending on what the quirk is or just ignore them. The problem is that over the year some of my friends have started to either take themselves or their teasing too far. Sometimes it just feels like they are walking over me. Like that one friend who always lectures me "about being a grown ass man" (and in a mean way might I add, he literally screams at me) just because I haven't seen him while outside, because I only drive inside our town (because I am not that good of a driver, I used to get extreme anxiety just being behind a wheel)(he lectured me 3 times during the same day last month and 2 of them was in front of mutual friends) or that one time he berated me about something that I thought so stupid that I made a joke and his literal answer was "shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am talking to you, I am older than you (by 2 months), I have more experience than you (cause he moved abroad) and I know better than you". Or when that group of friends that tried to catfish me at one point (they did a very bad job btw). Or that other friend that does fucked up shit or says hurtful things and his out of jail card is literally "it was just a prank bro". Like whenever I tell him the smoke from his cigarettes his bothering me he literally blows smoke on my face, or that time he threw a lit cigarette butt on me and it ruined my pants, or when we were complaining about or PhDs (he used to be a PhD student) and he told me "you stagnating so you wish for people to go backwards so it would feel like you are making progress" or that time were he told a mutual acquaintance that "I was a simp"(which I am lol) and that "I stuck to girls like glue". And sure enough whenever I stop talking to him his response would be "it was just a joke", or when I loaned him money cause he had money issues few years back he has promised me several times that he would pay me back after he gets paid for jobs he is doing but then when I ask him again he is like "Why didn't you ask me 2 days ago I used it to pay back few debts. You are the only debt I have left.". He has done the same thing over the past few years and given me the exact same answer each time. Until, I told him last year that it was okay if he didn't pay me back cause he had to loan a big amount to pay for his parents' rent .
Now I am not sure the way I respond to those situations is the healthiest. My go to strategy is to just go home and not talk to them for a while. The most recent example is from last weeks. I have a friend that always asks me to download softwares for him, to install them and set them up. Honestly I didn't mind it at first but he does it so often that it has become annoying and it feels like I can't refuse cause he always says "if I am bothering you that is okay", plus whenever he sits next to me while I work on his PC he goes on rants I don't want to hear about. Anyway, he is a PhD student and he asked me to help him with a paper he is working on cause it is overlapping with my field, I didn't mind. Then, he called me the other day and asked if I could meet him immediately, I accepted (to be fair to him he did ask me if I was going to take a lot of time to arrive, I answered with "no" then it did take me 25 minutes more than it should have) and when I called him to tell him I was almost there he answered with "are you kidding me? I don't have time", I just hang up before he could finish his sentence and went back home. Or two voice messages I impulsively sent yesterday cause I was really upset and needed to let my anger out one way or another. The first one was to the "it was just a prank, bro" dude, I lent him some more money few months ago that he promised he would pay back by the end of 2023 and still hasn't. The message went like this "give me back my money or I will kick you in the balls and break your nose" (it sounded cooler in my language lol. And I want to add that he would definitely win in a fight. ). It wasn't about the money I was just tired of him and would get upset every-time I would think about the way he is treating me. Then I followed up with another message calling him a parasite. The second one was to the dude who always berates me. Despite the way he treats he considers me as a best friend, so I have been thinking about sending him a message for the past 2 weeks explaining to him that I didn't like the way he treated me. But because I was angry the message went like this "Go fuck yourself, and fuck your so called advice. You are just trying to enforce some random criteria you have made up on me. Let me give you the same advice you give me, you are a 30 yo man so it would be about time you came back to reality and to close your asshole (which is a rude way of saying you have got a big head in my language). Also shut the fuck up.". Needless to say that he was confused and tried to call me and left me like 2 voice messages that I ignored (cause I wasn't feeling like hearing from anyone) and a screenshot from his note app saying that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he considered me like a good friend and that I was a good guy (I haven't read everything). He probably tried to contact me today, but I can't be sure cause I spent the entire day messing with my phone and installing different ROMS (OS). But yeah, I received an SMS from him few hours ago saying that he was going to press charge for "defamation and mental distress " (I think that is the correct translation), which I thought was ridiculous plus he is not the kind to press charges. But then, he has people in his life that he respects a lot and if they advised him to he would definitely do it. Plus he used the number he uses when he comes to our country to text me, on the other hand the country he is at is close enough that he could just text me from that number. I mean I think it would be ridiculous to press charges for that voice mail lol, but again some stupid law got voted few months ago that if you were caught cussing that could cause you up to 6 months of jail, and I definitely cussed. Oh and he also followed with "we obviously don't deal with conflicts the same way. There is the dirty way then there is the smart way" (Again not sure about the translation so I am using the literal one). When I saw it I was like "there is no way I am not ignoring you now"
If you managed to read the whole thing I thank you, I feel a lot better, I mean it still feels like the earth is about to swallow me whole but I still weirdly feel calm about it lol.

My (25F) sister (28F) is getting married at the end of this year. She’s strongly religious, I am not. We’ve had a complicated relationship, we were extremely close when we were little, and then she became one of my biggest bullies, this was only amplified that the majority of the family was a part of this behaviour as well.
I had a very long discussion with her the other day, about a lot of the ongoing issues. She didn’t really take accountability for anything, outright denying a lot of things, saying I hold onto things for too long, and that I blow things out of proportion. Ultimately certain things were promised to be changed, and I at least feel more confident to speak up when things are happening now, but it’s hard as I am autistic, have cPTSD and anxiety so it can be hard to push back when she shuts me down when I do say something isn’t okay.
My sister is very strong in her religion, which is okay. I detest that she uses it to justify bigotry though. Including homophobia, although she does keep that toned down around me as long as I don’t talk about LGBTQ+ topics too much.
She’s inviting our bio-mother (egg donor is probably more fitting for me) to her wedding. Bio-mum is not good. We were taken away from her as an infant and toddler due to severe neglect/abuse. She was present after that, but never really as a parent. My sister didn’t have issues with her from then, but I’ve had to cut her off twice. She’s harassed me relentlessly at times - I would get hundreds of calls from her followed by a barrage of angry texts, threatened me, threatened my past career as a nurse with false claims to have me “disbarred,” when I have suffered with mental illness that she doesn’t even know the details of she messaged me to tell me she was ending her life because of me, she lied about my dads paternity to me whilst I was showing her the paternity test. Needless to say, I don’t vibe with her.
At this stage I’ve agreed to go to my sister’s wedding, on the condition that the egg-donor does not even enter my sphere of existence during the event. I’ve also made it clear, if she starts harassing me, and it’s not dealt with and put a stop to quickly, then I will not attend the wedding with her there, as I simply can’t risk being around her while she’s actively abusing me.
This is where I may be TA. I am not in a relationship currently, but I know when I go back to dating, it will be with women, what with being gay. I do also know I want to be married to the right woman when I meet her. I could be feeling a bit petty after the conversation I had with my sister and realising how she truly is and how little she really does care despite what she says, but WIBTA if I ask her if she will actually even be attending my future wedding when it does happen, even though I know the answer might change my stance on if I go to hers?
Extra context: my logic kind of is as follows, it’s a massive ask to be there with the egg-donor, and if she isn’t going to support me by at least being present in the future, then I see little worth in doing it. I also don’t really support this wedding as it is, her fiancé is a rude man, he is racist, and he unfortunately is more openly bigoted in a way that makes my sister feel more open in expressing her views even when they are harmful to people she says she loves. I sort of figure, if it’s okay for her to not support my potential future wedding by not attending when at this point she hasn’t even met who I would be marrying, then it’s somewhat fair for me to not attend her wedding that I also don’t support.

My sister went to live in a small town in the Pacific Northwest about a year ago. Contact with her ceased 10 hours after she had left town. Her phone would go straight to voicemail and I couldn’t file her as missing, as I hadn’t even gone there to make sure she was okay myself. But when I entered that small sleepy village, I didn’t think I was going to be leaving.
The fact is she hadn’t told me specifically what town, but modern technology prevails and before she moved she had forgotten to stop sharing her location with me. At least the location was active for the 10 hours after she had left our shared apartment. The location was a road coursing through the dense pine forests, and the closest town was only a few miles North. It was a start so after a few days of ruminating, worrying and telling myself that she’s fine, she’s an adult, she doesn’t need me to baby her anymore, I caved to the worry and packed my bags.
The long drive from our hometown of ***** in Idaho was adding to my stress, if only speed limits were not a thing. I drove into the town of ******** as night was falling and the dense forests around me began to feel as if they were closing in on me. The town was quiet, and to be honest I couldn’t see anyone. A few signs flashed on and off which presumably meant that despite the deserted streets, people were most likely dwelling inside the diners and bars that were sporadically placed.
I pulled into the diner which had the most cars parked in the lot, stepping out of my car and briskly walking to it as it begun raining. The smell of pancakes, cigarettes and coffee hit me as I walked inside the door, along with the warmth that flooded over my cold limbs. The customers sat in their plaid shirts, sipping on their beverages, and looked at me in somewhat disdain. Outsiders I guess. I sat on the corner booth, and the waitress came over to me; a much less disapproving expression on her face thankfully. I ordered a diet coke and a stack of pancakes as after that drive my belly was louder than the chatter in the place. Whispers now, as if I had walked in on some secret group meeting that fronted as a family diner.
I tried ringing my sister again, hoping that perhaps it may ring this time. But it didn’t. I ate my pancakes, as I felt eyes on me with each bite. Once I had finished, I paid and left them, hearing the chatter intensify as the door shut behind me. It was 9pm and I had pre-booked a BnB about five minutes up the road. It was a quaint little colonial, with inviting amber light emanating from inside. From the empty parking lot I assumed I was to be the only guest that night, and I pulled my suitcase from my trunk, dragging it across the gravel courtyard.
As I got to the top of the stairs I realised there was no BnB sign or anything really that indicated that it was a BnB. No vacancy sign, no usual indications of it being a professional establishment. I twisted the doorknob and entered the ‘lobby’ which seemed to lack a reception desk, and very much looked as if I had simply walked into somebodies home. Silence. At this point I was certain I had inputted the wrong address, and seeing as it was a small town the fact that the door was unlocked was not so out of the ordinary. I turned and left, dragging my relatively heavy suitcase down the porch steps and back to my car. Before I managed to open my trunk, an elderly woman's voice came from behind me.
“Why you leaving dear, come on inside. I have just baked a fresh batch of Snicker doodles.”
I turned to see the lady, who looked very much like a stereotypical grandmother with her coifed hair and flowery apron.
I followed her as she escorted me back through the front door. At this point I was ready to collapse on a soft bed, my eyes were sore and my fingers felt as if they were about to snap from the cold air outside.
“I will take you to your room after you’ve tried one of my snickerdoodles,” the lady said as she gestured for me to follow her to the kitchen.
“This is the ***** BnB Isn’t it?” I asked as I sat on one of the chairs around the little round table she had in the middle of the kitchen.
“Yes of course. Would you like milk with your cookies dear?”
I ate the complementary cookies as she watched each bite that went into my mouth, before she asked the question that ultimately would lead to the cascade of events that made me never, ever want to visit a small town ever again.
“Where’s your invitation?” she asked as she tapped her fingers against the table.
“Invitation?” I asked. “You mean my booking number?”
“No dear, your invitation to this town. No one comes here without one.”
“I don’t have one, I only have the booking number for this hotel.”
When I said this the woman’s homely demeanour soon changed. She looked irritated, angry, and went to the phone that was hanging on the wall.
“Who are you calling?”
She turned back to me with wide eyes, and as I swallowed it felt as if one of those delicious cookies was lodged in my throat.
“I don’t know about an invitation, I have my booking number, I paid for the room.”
The lady didn’t look back to me when I said this and stood with the phone against her ear.
“There is a young lady here without an invitation,” the woman said. “Yes, no invitation.”
The woman started tapping her foot on the floor as she grew impatient with whoever was on the other end of the phone. At this point I got up, and backed into the hallway where my suitcase was still sitting by the front door.
“She’s leaving! What do you want me to do! I cant run after her, I had a damn hip replacement!”
I at this point, as anyone would do, ran to the front door, and picked my suitcase up as I heard her yelling intelligible things at the phone.
I ran to my car, shoved the suitcase on the passenger seat, and reversed out of there, as my heart was nearly bursting through my ribcage.
I drove back the way the diner was, not knowing what I was going to do. I couldn’t just leave here, my sister was somewhere and if this was how the locals were, I sure as hell was going to find her and take her back home.
But at this point I had nowhere to sleep, and it wasn’t like I could just drive to the next town over, which was hours away. I was sure to have crashed the car in my state of panic and sheer exhaustion.
I composed myself as my shaky hands held onto the wheel, and decided that f it. I would have to drive to the nearest town, whatever was going on here, whether I was just paranoid or what, felt very off.
But as I came to the road that led out of town, I noticed the orange lights of a roadblock, warping in the rain that started to pelt down harder.
I stopped my car and got out to speak to the people standing in front of it, placing cones and signs.
“I need to leave, is there another way out?” I yelled through the almost deafening sound of the rain.
“No Miss. you’ll have to get a hotel tonight.”
“Why is it blocked?”
“Something on the road. There’s a BnB up the road.”
I ran back to my car, wiping the rain out of my eyes. What on earth was going on, and one way out? They had to be lying or something. I turned my phone on and of course because of the rain, and impending storm, no signal, no maps.
I did a U turn, the road had to come out somewhere else up north. The town could not just be a one way in, dead end out.
I drove past the BnB, up the main road as my wipers were struggling to keep up with the pouring rain.
And thats when I realised that the main road at least was one way in. The road stopped randomly, blocked by pines that lead into a forest. I didn’t want to stop there, to I turned down a road to the right, just praying please please please get me out of here, I’ll come back in the daylight but please tonight just get me out of here.
The road began to get bumpy. In the distance I could see lights and through the intermittent vision I had of the road, I could see a church. I parked and got out of the car, hoping that the church might offer me some sort of shelter. I ran through the rain as the wind worked against me. I rapped on the old wooden door, yelling for someone to open it, all while looking back at the black void behind my car from where I had come.
After a few minutes, I heard the clinking of a lock and stepped back. A friendly face of a woman peered through a gap and she looked up at me.
“How can I help. Its 10Pm.”
“I have nowhere to stay, and that BnB down the road was not very inviting.”
“Invitation Hm?”
“Yes, you know about that?”
The lady opened the door and gestured for me to enter. The wind howled through the church even when she had shut the door, and there was candles placed throughout.
“Is the woman ok in that BnB?” I asked the lady.
“The woman. Miss, you came to the wrong place, and I’m not sure what I can do to help you.”
“The wrong place?” I asked as I felt completely as if I was about to break down and cry from the fear of what on earth was going on.
“You can stay here, and I will help you however I can. But it’s me and a few of my friends against that town. I cant promise anything.”