Hey Entrepreneur!
I wanted to share the story of the past year and a half of my life - a tale of challenges, tech innovation, and a whole lot of snacks. This isn’t just about launching a product; it’s about solving a big problem that inspired an entire platform.
**TL;DR: My buddy and I sold our previous snack subscription box company and made a cool thing**

The Seeds of Discontent

At our previous company, my buddy Mike and I saw how powerful influencer marketing could be. Our business, delivering international snacks to doorsteps, was perfect for social media. But managing these influencer partnerships was a huge headache.
Each new campaign started with excitement but quickly became overwhelming. We dealt with many social media platforms, each with its own rules and metrics. Keeping track of everything felt like trying to solve a puzzle with pieces that kept changing. The tools we used were basic. They helped us send products and payments but didn’t offer much for managing or understanding the big picture.
Tracking our campaign performance was a real pain. With just a small team running our marketing, we were juggling hundreds of influencers at the same time. It was hard to keep an eye on everyone and make quick decisions. Plus, the data we got was often late and messy, making things even more frustrating.
This constant struggle showed us a big gap in our toolkit. We needed a solution that could make managing influencers easier and give us useful insights, something as dynamic and global as our product. This ongoing frustration planted the seeds for what would eventually become our new company.

Market Research: Finding the Pain Points

After selling our previous business, Mike and I took a six-month break. We explored different ideas, from unique apps to a Castle Crashers style game. But our experience working with creators kept pulling us back to marketing. We knew the challenges of influencer marketing needed to be addressed.
We talked to our network in the e-commerce space to see if they had similar problems. The feedback was eye-opening. Many businesses struggled with existing tools, which mostly acted as simple marketplaces, where interactions were brief and not very deep.
Even worse, the few ambassador tools available were expensive and limited. When I searched for an ambassador software tool that worked across all social networks, the options I found required scheduling demos days in advance. They often lacked direct API connections and supported only a few major social media networks. The starting prices were high, often around $5k per month, with costs going up as the program expanded.
This research not only validated our experiences but also showed us a strategic need for our own tool. We realized we needed a solution not just to fill the current gap but also as a key part of our marketing stack for future businesses. We were determined to build something that wouldn’t force us—or anyone else—to pay a crazy amount for effective influencer marketing.

Designing the Dream: Our New Business’ Blueprint

With a clear vision from our frustrations and market research, we set out to create our new business. Our goal was to build a comprehensive tool that would change influencer marketing. Here’s what we focused on:

• **Comprehensive Integration**: We made sure the tool we created works with the top 10 social networks in the US. This unified approach helps marketers manage campaigns across different platforms easily, without juggling multiple tools.
  
• **Dynamic Engagement Tools**: Engagement is key, so we developed real-time interaction capabilities. We built user-friendly native apps for ambassadors on the App Store and Google Play, allowing influencers to stay engaged and responsive. Brands manage their campaigns through a web-based company portal.
  
• **Robust Analytics Engine**: While our analytics engine gives deep insights, we know it needs continuous improvement. We designed it to evolve, offering ongoing updates to refine its capabilities and deliver actionable intelligence.
  
• **Flexible and Fun Engagement**: The points and rewards system was the most important and fun feature to develop. This gamification of the influencer experience encourages participation and loyalty, making marketing campaigns more engaging.
  
• **Advanced Group Segmentation**: We included the ability to segment ambassadors into groups. This allows brands to target certain activities and rewards to specific groups, enhancing the effectiveness of marketing efforts.
  

Each feature of our tool we were creating was designed to address specific pain points we identified. Our goal was to offer a tool that was powerful, efficient, adaptable, and enjoyable for both brands and their ambassador partners.

Launching Our New Business: Embracing User Feedback

After about 18 months of design and development, we started the soft launch of our new business on May 1st. Opting for a soft launch allowed us to focus on real-time feedback and fine-tuning over making a big initial splash. This approach is crucial - not just for introducing our product but for understanding how it fits into the real world, where actual users rely on it.

Initial Rollout and Testing

Our launch a couple of weeks ago marked the start of our public journey. We released our new tool we created with ambassador apps on the App Store and Google Play, and opened our web-based company portal for business use. This phase is not about mass marketing but about engaging with our professional network and early adopters testing everything in real-world conditions. This includes real companies and creators, ensuring our platform is robust and responsive.

Iterative Feedback Integration

Feedback from these early stages is invaluable. We have set up multiple channels to communicate with our initial users to ensure they feel supported and heard. This ongoing dialogue is critical as it helps us identify and implement necessary adjustments quickly. Each piece of feedback is a step towards improving functionality and user experience.

Continued Development Based on Early Insights

Since we are still in the soft launch phase, our focus remains on refining the platform. A recent development was adding the Creator Hub and Company Center about a month ago—enhancements from recognizing limitations in our initial setup.
**Creator Hub**: The Creator Hub allows businesses to manage their ambassador relationships dynamically. Companies can discover and invite creators who match their interests and campaign goals, ensuring more personalized and effective collaborations.
**Company Center**: This feature allows creators to independently discover and apply to various ambassador programs, giving them the freedom to engage with brands that align with their interests.
These features aim to make the connection between companies and creators as seamless and beneficial as possible, accommodating a wide range of marketing strategies and campaign sizes.

How The Tool We Created Works: Streamlining Influencer Marketing

Our tool is designed to simplify and enhance the influencer marketing process for both companies and creators. Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of how our platform works:

1. **Signup and Integration**

• Companies can quickly create customizable signup forms. They can also invite new ambassadors directly from the Creator Hub that match their interests. This flexibility helps integrate Social Strudel into existing marketing workflows.

1. **Ambassador Onboarding**

• Creators apply to become ambassadors, download the Social Strudel app, and connect their social media accounts. This ensures that once approved, creators can start engaging with brand campaigns promptly.

1. **Application Review**

• Companies get notifications of new applicants and can approve or decline them based on their fit and relevance to marketing goals. This step ensures only the best ambassadors represent the brand.

1. **Targeted Segmentation**

• Companies can segment ambassadors into groups, allowing them to tailor activities and communications. This supports targeted marketing strategies and more personalized engagement.

1. **Activity Management**

• Companies set up new activities on various social platforms for ambassadors. Examples include:
  
  • **Instagram**: Create a photo post featuring the brand’s latest snack box and use specific hashtags.
  • **TikTok**: Develop a short video showing a fun unboxing of the product, encouraging engagement through likes and comments.
  • **Twitch**: Host a live stream where the ambassador tries snacks from the box during a gaming session, discussing favorites with viewers.
• These are just examples, and activities can be tailored to fit different platforms and goals.
  

1. **Real-Time Notifications**

• Creators get notifications about new activities through push notifications and email. They can browse the app for available activities, ensuring they never miss an opportunity.

1. **Submission and Verification**

• Creators submit proof of activity completion directly through the app. This makes managing submissions easy and organized for companies.

1. **Activity Approval**

• Companies review submitted activities, approving or declining them based on quality and alignment with campaign objectives. This maintains high standards and ensures effectiveness.

1. **Rewards and Motivation**

• Upon approval, creators earn points, which can be redeemed for various rewards. This system motivates creators to produce high-quality content and stay engaged.

1. **Custom Rewards Creation**

• Companies create custom rewards, ranging from products, discounts, to unique experiences, or even cash. This flexibility allows brands to align rewards with their strategies and ambassador preferences.

1. **Reward Notifications and Redemption**

• Creators are notified of available rewards and can redeem their points. This keeps creators motivated and engaged.

1. **Reward Distribution Management**

• Companies are notified about reward redemptions and distribute rewards accordingly. This final step ensures creators are compensated for their efforts, and companies can manage reward distribution easily.

Looking Forward: The Road Ahead for Us

As we continue with our new business, we are committed to not just meeting but exceeding the evolving needs of digital marketing. We’ve only just begun to tap into our platform’s potential, and our roadmap is geared towards enhancing our service and expanding our reach.

Enhanced Integration Capabilities

We aim to expand our platform’s integration capabilities, adding support for social networks like WhatsApp, Discord, Telegram, and Quora, and adapting to new emerging platforms like the anticipated Vine 2. By covering more platforms, we provide our users with tools to engage with audiences everywhere online.

Advanced Analytics and AI Implementation

Understanding the crucial role of data, we plan to enhance our analytics engine with advanced metrics and predictive analytics. By integrating AI, we aim to give users insights that reflect current trends and anticipate future behaviors.

Continued Focus on User Experience

User feedback is key and remains a cornerstone of our development. We are committed to refining the user experience based on real usage and feedback. This includes enhancing our mobile apps and ensuring the Creator Hub and Company Center are intuitive and robust. Both are still in early stages, and we are actively working to improve these features.

Expanding Educational Resources

To help users fully leverage the tool we created, we plan to expand our educational resources. This includes tutorials, best practice guides, and case studies for new users, and advanced content for experienced marketers to refine their strategies.

Final Reflections

If you've stuck with me this long through our story, thank you! Reflecting on this journey, it’s clear that every challenge and setback helped shape our vision and refine our approach. From the initial frustrations to the detailed market research, every step has been a learning experience. We're excited about the future and committed to improving our platform constantly to meet the evolving needs of our users and potential users. If you have any questions or feedback at all, I’d love to hear it! Your insights and support mean a lot as my partner and I continue to grow and innovate.

Hi there! I’m 26, CST, and female!
SFW ONLY.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 21 to 35 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - must be able to post once a day - Discord Only. - No asterisks - Proper grammar and punctuation please.
Super into enemies to lovers and/or love triangles right now.
Also would love to do something ACOTAR inspired or Hades x Persephone.
Cool, confident characters only. I am not interested in shy/reserved/soft/etc.
Alien x Superhero This is meant to be sort of Avenger-ish with aliens not being liked on Earth. I was thinking maybe your character is one of the heroes against the whole aliens being on the Earth. There’s a march being rumored to happen where aliens wanting to gain citizenship and demand the end of their races being killed. What your character doesn’t know is that his beloved girlfriend is an alien (my character). She’s a shapeshifter type that’s been sneaking out of the house lately for meetings concerning the march.
Rivals I have a few ideas for this one. One resolving around two college aged adults going to the same college, their parents are mafia rivals. Slowly they fall for each other before finding out who they really are, or even an arranged sort of marriage that ties both families together and ends the rivalry... just for a while.
Arranged Marriage: Looking for a more modern to almost futuristic kind of setting. Our characters being forced to marry each other due to a war ending or some other sort of treaty. I would be more than happy to also have some fantasy elements in this.
The Selection: Basically a slightly futuristic twist on the BacheloBachelorette. One prince or princess comes of age and must go through an event called The Selection where they must find love from a specific amount of contestants.
Royal Mistake: a prince from another country comes to America for school under a disguise and fake name, and falls for a regular American commoner.. It calls for big scandals if anyone finds out who the noble in disguise really is.
Fake Fiancée: Y/C and his fiancée have recently called things off. There’s only one real problem to this... He was supposed to bring her to meet the family at a huge family reunion/wedding/event of your choice. He resorts to calling M/C his college best friend or his best friend’s sister… we can discuss that a bit more.

First off, congrats to everyone for the past application cycle! No matter what your outcome was, it's a big accomplishment to have gone through the whole process. I'm a non-trad who was accepted to Queen's this year, on my 2nd application cycle. I will be 27 when I start this Fall. It feels surreal and I always told myself I'd write a post about my journey if this day ever came - and here we are.
I didn't decide to apply to med school until after I finished undergrad, and while doing my research, I always wished I could read/hear perspectives from others with my background. Even though everybody's path will be different, I hope that my story can provide some insight (or even hope) for other non-trad applicants out there.
Before we start, here are my stats because that's important:

• cGPA, OMSAS: 3.53
• wGPA, UBC: ~85%
• MCAT: 515 (127/129/130/129)
• Casper: 4th
• IP: BC and ON

I'll go in chronological order, briefly describing some of the major events that led me to today, starting from high school. Please ask me any questions in the comments - (almost) nothing is off limits :)
TLDR: I was a software engineer who quit after a year to go to grad school and pursue medicine. It took me 4 years from when I decided to pursue this to getting accepted at a Canadian school. I did a Masters in stats and applied 2 times. My biggest takeaway is to do a lot of what you are passionate about, do it well, and take it far (for me, that was teaching and research).
Some demographics:

• My parents and I immigrated to Canada from Asia when I was 3
• I grew up in the GTA and did undergrad in Ontario
• I'm the first person in my family to pursue med school. My immediate family and I are the only people in our whole family who live outside of Asia, and nobody in my parents' network of family friends is in healthcare either.

High school, 2011-2015: I was always interested in medicine as a kid, but math was always my favourite subject. I applied to several science and math programs, and was choosing between Western Med Sci and Waterloo Math. I did not apply to Mac Health Sci and looking back, I'm not sure why (perhaps a sign that I didn't believe in myself). I ended up choosing Waterloo Math and giving up on the medical school route in grade 12, for a few reasons: the math program had 6 co-op terms, meaning I'd graduate with 2 full-time years of job experience, and I wasn't particularly good at biology and didn't have strong reasons for pursuing medicine back then. Med school also seemed like an impossible goal, especially since I didn't have any mentors in the field.
Undergrad, 2015-2020: This was honestly a fun time for me. I double-majored in stats and CS and I did 6 co-ops, 5 of which were in software engineering roles. I had originally planned to do actuarial science, but quickly saw the earning potential in the tech industry and made it my goal to get a job at a big tech company. A lot of personal stuff happened during this time as well that affirmed my decision pursue a software engineering career. One part of it was that I didn't want my parents to worry about me, and being able to show them that I was able to do well for myself in tech felt really good.
Halfway through my co-ops, I realized that I wasn't feeling the most fulfilled in software roles, but management roles also didn't appeal to me. I didn't really take the time to fully explore this feeling, and it was easy to put it away in light of the high income and getting to live in big cities for internships. Still, I did well in my co-ops and built up my software skills. After realizing that "grades don't matter for getting tech jobs", I let my grades slip. It wasn't until 4th year that I decided I wanted to keep the door open for grad school, and starting taking classes I liked and getting better grades. I graduated with an 82% average, with my grades all over the place (which I'd later learn was bad for calculating my OMSAS gpa lol).
Throughout undergrad, I still wanted to be involved in clubs and stuff, so here's a list of all my undergrad ECs. All these were only 4-8 months long.

• 1st year: I was a member and president of my first year residence council
• 2nd year: I was in a leadership position at the statistics club
• 3rd year: I was an event coordinator for co-op students in a city away from home
• also 3rd year: I was part of a club that builds software for non-profits

Another activity from undergrad that made it onto my application was a research project I did at one of my co-ops. It was in NLP and I worked on it even after finishing that coop term. It ended up taking 4 years to get published.
Full-time software engineering, 2020-2021: I signed a return offer from one of my co-ops, and had planned to move to Seattle in the summer after graduating to start working. But Covid changed all that. I moved back home with my parents in the GTA and worked at my software job remotely for the full year.
It was during this year that I was really feeling unfulfilled in my job, and did a lot of thinking about how I wanted my career to look. I started to remember that med school was something that I once wanted to do, and I also started reading/watching a lot of content from people in medicine with non-traditional backgrounds. My partner, who is also from Ontario, was accepted to an international med school, and many of our friends were also getting into schools in Canada around the same time, so this reaffirmed to me that it was actually possible. While working for the year, I made a plan to apply to grad school (academia would be my back-up) and take the MCAT. Here's what my 2020-2021 looked like:

• July: started full-time work
• December-January: wrote personal statements and applied to 5 Masters programs in biostatistics
• February-April: acceptances to Masters programs came in, and I was studying for the MCAT
• June: took the MCAT, scored 508, and told my manager that I'd be leaving by August to start grad school

During this year, I also wrote out a 3-year plan that included my masters and 2 application cycles. I wrote out what courses I would take to fulfill prereqs, which schools I would apply to each year, and what my back-up plan would be. I think this was important to do rigorously since it gave me a clear idea of which schools I was eligible for, and how much work it would take me to become eligible for the rest of them.
I will also add that this is a rather objective recount of my process that year. In reality, I completely recognized how insane it was to quit my job to go to grad school, and I'm super lucky that I was able to.
Grad school, 2021-2023: I moved to BC to start my Masters in statistics in August. This choice was partly to gain IP status in BC, but mostly, this was really the best program for me out of the schools I applied to. Even looking back now, I would have chosen this program even without the IP consideration.
Here's a breakdown of everything I did during the first year of my Masters:

• Started a new volunteering role (tutoring) right away. Still doing this today, almost 3 years later.
• Took a first year English class to fulfill the UBC requirement. Side note: it felt very odd being a 25-year-old in a class of 18-year-olds, but I did well in both classes probably because of being older. At first, I dreaded taking these classes since English was never my strong suit. But being older meant that I allowed myself to be truly curious about the topics being taught, and I treated it more as an experience to learn more about the world than to just check off some boxes.
• Took the MCAT again, at the end of my first year of MSc. I had already confirmed a supervisor by then, and thankfully she is/was incredibly supportive of my goals. I took it in June 2022 and got 515.
• TA'd stats courses throughout the year
• Started working on my thesis research with my supervisor

First application, 2022: I applied only to UBC for my first application cycle. In retrospect, I should have just applied broadly right away, but I didn't feel like I had enough references built up by then. And UBC doesn't require references unless you get an interview. I honestly had very high hopes of getting an interview this year, and was crushed to receive a rejection in December with an NAQ of 50-75. I thought that my application was unique, but upon reflection, I realized that the lack of volunteering and community service was a big gap in my application.
So here's a breakdown of everything I did in my second year of my Masters and beyond:

• TA'd stats courses throughout the year, and was the head TA for one of them (I think this showed leadership and commitment to teaching)
• Started another volunteering role at the food bank
• Took another first-year English course
• Continued my research with my supervisor
• Got offered (and started) a lecturer role for an undergrad course at the university, which was such an amazing opportunity. My supervisor helped me a lot with getting this position, since I TA'd for her one semester and she recommended me to the department. This was a class of 150, and I was also in charge of a few TAs. I ended up teaching this class 2 more times after this!
• Finished my Masters in August 2023
• Started working full-time as a biostatistician in September 2023
• A first-author paper I started working on during undergrad was accepted in Fall 2023. I had been working on this on-and-off for the past 4 years so it was incredible for the work to finally pay off!

Second application, 2023: This time, I applied to UBC and every school in Ontario that I was eligible for: Queen's and Mac. I was rejected by UBC pre-interview again. Same NAQ, and my total score didn't change. I was totally crushed and thought it was over for this year. I was very honest with myself about the Ontario applications - Mac was a total throwaway application and Queen's felt like a complete gamble. I was rejected from Mac pre-interview but one fateful day in January, I received an email from Queen's. It had a very generic "Application Status" subject line and I opened it fully expecting a rejection. I was totally shocked when it said I was invited for the MMI! And a few months later, I was also invited to the Panel.
Some of my thoughts and preparation for the interviews:
MMI - Aside from the usual resources that are posted here, I also took advantage of the following:

• Support system: I had a lot of support from my partner, who had gone through MMIs from non-Canadian schools, and many of my friends who were already in med school.
• Resources: I paid for a prep session on AcceptedTogether and had a positive experience there. I also used the BrightStudent question bank and although the questions were good, the explanations and overall experience were mid. But their YouTube video was extremely useful.
• Mindset: Throughout my whole MMI prep, I was honestly very interested in exploring each prompt, and I think this mindset was extremely beneficial for making my answers both unique and genuine. During my Masters, I also took a class that covered topics in social determinants of health, and I semi-regularly enjoy reading about current events in this area, so both of those pieces of background were super helpful for me.

Panel - I was so happy to receive a panel interview, and knew that I could not mess this up. I prepped with a few different friends of mine who were in med school, and another friend who was going through Ontario interviews too. Going in, I felt very prepared, and in the days leading up to it, I even felt like my answers were on autopilot and a bit over-prepared. So I really tried to relax and "be myself"/answer genuinely during the panel. The real panel felt quite cold - I didn't get any feedback from my interviewers, and was a bit thrown off by some of the questions. I was also cut off by the Kira Talent timer at the end, and didn't get to say goodbye or thank you. For the rest of the day, I ruminated on all my answers. The content of my answers felt somewhere between "why would I say that" and "just fine" and "great", but I was definitely feeling a bit bad about the whole experience.
Decision Week, 2024: That brings us to this week! In the week leading up to the decision, I flip flopped between "My panel hated me, there's no way I passed the vibe check" and "My answers were good, my MMI felt good, why wouldn't they accept me". I opened the email at 6am (Pacific time) with zero expectations - I truly had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side. The first word was "Congratulations!" and I didn't read much farther than that before I started celebrating :)
So that's it. I told a lot of people I work with, my Masters supervisor, my parents, and my friends, and it felt amazing to deliver this good news. My closing thoughts about my whole journey are that even though I do think my application was great, I still got incredibly lucky. At any point in the process, I could have gotten an undesirable outcome, and there was nothing I could do to control that (other than my efforts prior). I also relied a lot on my support system, and was so lucky to have had + made friends who are in med school or were practising already.
I just feel so grateful to be starting this Fall, and I'm happy to say that my high school self would be in absolute disbelief if she could see where I am today. That statement is a sign to me that I'm on the right path, and I'm just so excited to be starting this long, hard career that is medicine.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading!! If you can relate to any part of my journey and have questions, please send me a comment or DM - my inbox is always open.

Context, I'm in Asia working with an American team. Our job deals with a lot of "it depends" and each task we receive can vary a lot in the details and those details dictate how we handle said task. I have this fairly senior coworker who never fails to include the listed phrases below whenever I ask her a question: 1) "You should already know this when you were trained about this" (the training was months ago and doesn't apply exactly to the situation at hand) 2) "Write this in your little notes, your little notebook" with an elementary school teacher voice 3) "If you just read the handbook, you'd know" again, we deal with a lot of varying situations that the handbook def doesn't have all the answers for. Besides, being by the book is not the only way to deal with our non life threatening tasks. It's just emails ffs. 4) "if you just scroll down and read the email--" I'm not asking about what is mentioned, I'm asking about how to deal with this specific issue So on and so forth. There's always a side comment whenever we talk to her and it's grating on my nerves. She never just discusses the confusion and how to solve it, she has to say a tidbit about how we just need to read or think or something that due to the nature of our job just ain't gonna work. It's not like she's perfect and she also confirms and asks alot from the more senior (and kinder) American employee. Am I overreacting and this is just how Americans communicate? Everything she says is politely coded so there's no overtly aggressive tones but I can feel the condescension radiating from her tone and words.

Hi there! I’m 26, central US timezone, and female!
SAFE FOR WORK ONLY.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot idea you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing!
Partner requirements: must be 22-38 - Must play male (IRL gender doesn’t matter)- write in third person - at least two paragraphs - decent grammar and punctuation- must be able to post once a day to every other day. Communication is key, please let me know if you are going to be busy for longer than a day or two or if you are no longer interested. No asterisks for actions. Dialogue should be in quotations. NO AI ART OR WRITING.
I’ve been craving a good enemies to lovers roleplay for awhile now and what’s a better enemies to lovers roleplay than something revolving around the mafia?
Plot idea #1: Your character has recently taken over the family business. My character is a college student on a study abroad trip that happens to see something they weren’t supposed to. Y/C’s men that were handling the deal take her back to the main ‘headquarters’ and keep her locked up, leaving Y/C to deal with her.
Plot idea #2: Your character is in a small gang that is tasked with kidnapping the naive daughter of a mob boss that stole money from another. Basic idea, can be fleshed out more together.
Plot idea #3: your character would be a police officer that’s gone undercover with some small local gangs to bust a couple of drug dealers and whatnot. Having done such a great job there, he is offered a bigger mission and if he takes it, when he returns to his actual station, he will get a bigger raise, new car, K-9 unit, some sort of special thing that he’s been working towards. This bigger mission would be infiltrating a bigger mafia family that seems to be running all these smaller ones. Thanks to some forged documents, lies spread around, and some of the actual dirty work he has done over the last six months, the head of the family invites him to a nightclub to chat. The chat leads to the offering of a position within the family, a personal bodyguard for the mob bosses daughter after the situation that happened with her last one. It’s his first break through and they’re welcoming him with open arms. Does he accept?

Spiritual Growth

1. Daily Prayer: Commit to daily prayer sessions asking for strength and guidance.
2. Scripture Reading: Read and meditate on scriptures that focus on strength and recovery.
3. Worship: Participate in regular worship services to reinforce your spiritual foundation.
4. Faith Affirmations: Use Bible verses as affirmations; repeat them during cravings.
5. Confession: Regularly confess struggles to a trusted spiritual leader or trusted friend.
6. Fasting: Occasionally fast to seek clarity and reinforce spiritual discipline.
7. Spiritual Retreats: Attend retreats for focused spiritual renewal.
8. Christian Meditation: Practice Christian meditation (pondering scripture, etc.) to calm the mind and spirit.
9. Listening to Gospel Music: Use uplifting music to enhance spiritual connection.
10. Prayer Journaling: Keep a journal of prayers and God’s responses.

Community Engagement

1. Church Support Groups: Join groups for individuals struggling with addiction.
2. Accountability Partner: Partner with a fellow believer who can provide support and accountability.
3. Volunteering: Engage in church-related volunteer work to stay busy and inspired.
4. Christian Counseling: Seek professional counseling from a Christian perspective.
5. Family Involvement: Involve your family in your journey through church events.
6. Youth Mentorship: Mentor youth, sharing your experiences and learning from service.
7. Online Christian Communities: Participate in online forums or groups for spiritual support.
8. Testimony Sharing: Share your journey at church gatherings to inspire and receive support.
9. Bible Study Groups: Regularly attend Bible study to deepen faith and community ties.
10. Church Activities: Be an active participant in church events and functions.

Personal Development

1. Routine Exercise: Incorporate regular physical activity to reduce stress.
2. Healthy Diet: Maintain a nutritious diet to improve overall well-being.
3. Reading Christian Literature: Read books that encourage spiritual growth and recovery.
4. Creative Arts: Use arts like painting or writing to express feelings and reflect.
5. Time Management: Structure your day to minimize idle time that could lead to cravings.
6. Goal Setting: Set short and long-term goals that align with your spiritual values.
7. Learning New Skills: Take up hobbies or classes that keep you engaged and learning.
8. Rest and Sleep: Ensure sufficient rest to maintain physical and mental health.
9. Nature Walks: Spend time in nature to find peace and perspective.
10. Avoiding Triggers: Identify and avoid situations or people that trigger cravings.

Coping Techniques

1. Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises during moments of craving.
2. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce anxiety.
3. Assertiveness Training: Learn to assertively say no to temptations.
4. Stress Management: Develop strategies to handle stress without resorting to substances.
5. Emotional Journaling: Use journaling to process emotions healthily.
6. Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on personal progress and setbacks.
7. Positive Visualization: Use visualization techniques to imagine a sober life.
8. Gratitude Lists: Regularly list things you are grateful for.
9. Reward System: Set up a reward system for reaching sobriety milestones.
10. Relaxation Techniques: Learn and apply relaxation techniques.

Support Systems

1. Peer Support: Regularly meet with a peer group for encouragement and advice.
2. Spiritual Guidance: Seek regular guidance from a pastor or spiritual mentor.
3. Therapeutic Relationships: Maintain therapeutic relationships that reinforce recovery.
4. Family Counseling: Engage in family counseling to repair relationships affected by addiction.
5. Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek help from addiction specialists.
6. Educational Workshops: Attend workshops that teach coping skills for addiction.
7. Supportive Friends: Cultivate friendships with those who support your recovery journey.
8. Avoiding Negative Influences: Steer clear of environments and individuals that undermine recovery.
9. Church Elders: Reach out to church elders for wisdom and support.
10. Sponsorship: Consider a 12-step program with a sponsor who shares your faith.

Renewal and Reflection

1. Anniversary Reflections: Reflect on the progress made over each year of recovery.
2. Spiritual Renewal Days: Designate days for intensified prayer and meditation.
3. Baptism or Re-baptism: Consider this as a symbolic fresh start.
4. Witnessing to Others: Use your story to help others in their battles with addiction.
5. Spiritual Literature: Delve deeper into spiritual texts for insights and inspiration.
6. Pastoral Visits: Invite pastoral visits for home blessing and personal encouragement.
7. Renewing Vows: Renew personal vows of sobriety in a ceremonial way.
8. Pilgrimage: Undertake a spiritual pilgrimage as a form of personal and spiritual exploration.
9. Reflection Retreats: Engage in retreats specifically focused on overcoming past habits.
10. Memorializing Milestones: Create physical or digital memorials of your recovery milestones.

Emotional Resilience

1. Emotional Awareness: Develop awareness of emotions and triggers that lead to cravings.
2. Seek Forgiveness: Embrace forgiveness, both from others and for yourself.
3. Offer Forgiveness: Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you, releasing bitterness.
4. Spiritual Songs: Sing or listen to spiritual songs that uplift and comfort.
5. Hope Messages: Write down messages of hope and revisit them during tough times.
6. Encouragement Letters: Write letters of encouragement to yourself for future moments of weakness.
7. Daily Devotionals: Follow a daily devotional plan that addresses addiction recovery.
8. Prayer Chains: Initiate or join prayer chains for continuous spiritual support.
9. Healing Services: Attend healing services focused on emotional and spiritual restoration.
10. Scriptural Promises: Memorize promises from the Bible that assure support and deliverance.

Social Connectivity

1. Social Activities: Organize or participate in sober social gatherings with fellow church members.
2. Church Family Outreach: Engage in church family outreach programs to build a supportive community.
3. Mentoring Others: Become a mentor to others struggling with addiction, sharing lessons and faith.
4. Recovery Testimonials: Regularly give testimonials at recovery meetings to inspire and affirm.
5. Family Devotions: Hold regular devotions with family to strengthen bonds and mutual support.
6. Prayer Groups: Form or join small prayer groups focused on overcoming addiction.
7. Christian Conferences: Attend Christian conferences on recovery and personal growth.
8. Community Service Projects: Lead or participate in community service projects to foster a sense of purpose.
9. Recovery Celebrations: Celebrate recovery milestones with your church community.
10. Faith-Based Podcasts: Listen to and discuss faith-based podcasts on overcoming challenges.

Mindset and Lifestyle

1. Optimism: Cultivate an optimistic outlook based on faith and hope in God’s plan.
2. Daily Affirmations: Start the day with Christian affirmations about strength and recovery.
3. Mindfulness of God’s Presence: Continuously remind yourself of God’s presence in your life.
4. Avoiding Idleness: Keep yourself busy with meaningful activities that align with Christian values.
5. Spiritual Biographies: Read biographies of Christians who overcame significant struggles.
6. Health Check-Ups: Regularly attend health check-ups to monitor physical health during recovery.
7. Sabbath Rest: Observe Sabbath rest as a time to rejuvenate spiritually and physically.
8. Christian Movies: Watch movies with Christian themes that reinforce your resolve and values.
9. Spiritual Accountability: Regularly review your spiritual and recovery progress with a mentor.
10. Prayer Walks: Incorporate prayer walks as a way to combine physical activity and spiritual meditation.

Continued Learning and Growth

1. Biblical Courses: Take courses on biblical studies that relate to healing and redemption.
2. Spiritual Workshops: Attend workshops that focus on spiritual growth and overcoming addictions.
3. Faith-Based Counseling Techniques: Learn counseling techniques that are based on Christian principles.
4. Scripture Memorization: Engage in scripture memorization to strengthen spiritual warfare against cravings.
5. Pastoral Workshops: Participate in workshops offered by pastors that focus on living a sober life.
6. Faith and Science: Explore the intersection of faith and science in understanding addiction.
7. Christian Leadership Courses: Take courses in Christian leadership to empower your role in the community.
8. Retelling Your Story: Learn to retell your story in ways that highlight God’s grace and your growth.
9. Spiritual Discernment: Enhance spiritual discernment to recognize paths and choices that support sobriety.
10. Continuous Prayer: Maintain an attitude of continuous prayer, acknowledging dependence on God for daily victory over addiction.

I just updated to v65 and the brightness dropped a lot in passthrough, and the contrast dropped too! now it's really bad to play, it has lost all the brightness in mixed reality and also the color contrast! It's depressing!
it's true I can read notifications on my smartphone better now, but if I'm playing mixed reality with my Quest 3 the most important thing is to play well with bright colors, and not with these dead colors! I'm not interested in being able to read the smartphone, I'm interested in being able to play well!
and this update has significantly worsened the gaming experience in mixed reality it has made all the colors dead! the environment is so dark! even if I put the brightness at 100% it is still very dark!
I believe that meta should give users the possibility to adjust the brightness and contrast of the passthrough as the user wishes, or at least give two or three settings to choose from!
and not that Meta chooses for everyone, because not everyone has the same tastes! But beyond personal taste, undoubtedly playing is worse now, you can only read the smartphone better, I invite those who think like you to write a letter to Meta to report this thing through the error reporting of the viewer, so that in the future they may give us the possibility to choose to increase or not increase the brightness as it was before!

This is a 18+ discord server set in a superpowered academy with some dark secrets. The colorful cast of characters leaves a lot of room for whatever ideas you might have for your own, student or teacher! Be it a femboy war vet nurse, or a bunny boi thief student, or even a former rock star trying to find new inspiration as a teacher! all characters of all backgrounds are welcome to Magna!
Although primarily a modern day slice of life, the server does encourage individual plotlines based on your background leading to a web of interconnected stories through character interactions and backgrounds. There is no main character so no matter what your character will get their time to shine! Smut is allowed and encouraged as well! It's a college after all and college students are college students.
There’s no level of experience for your writing required either! Just on a personal note, this server is what got me into rp in general. It's had it's ups and downs but as a community we've worked hard to push through and try to be an inviting space for any and all who give us the same respect. There's no community I've ever gotten so close to and I really hope you join our ranks and our community, as it'd be great to meet you and have you join us! Dm me if you're interested and we'll see about getting you an invite :3

This is a 18+ discord server set in a superpowered academy with some dark secrets. The colorful cast of characters leaves a lot of room for whatever ideas you might have for your own, student or teacher! Be it a war vet nurse, or a bunny boi thief student, or even a former rock star trying to find new insperation as a teacher! all characters of all backgrounds are welcome to Magna!
Although primarily a modern day slice of life, the server does encourage individual plotlines based on your background leading to a web of interconnected stories through character interactions and backgrounds. There is no main character so no matter what your character will get their time to shine! Smut is allowed and encouraged as well! It's a college after all and college students are young and horny.
The lore behind the world is relatively simple. The world has developed technologically to the point where humanity is able to give individuals artificial powers. Magna, which was originally a testing ground for those powers, has been converted into essentially a soverign city state of a school for those who have powers to get new bginnings and learn how to use their abilities properly. Most other lore is based on character backstories to expand the world, with very limited relevant lore outside of what Magna is and why it exists giving plenty of freedom for any backstory desiered!
There’s no level of experience for your writing required either! Just on a personal note, this server is what got me intok rp myself. It’s slowly dying but we just need a few more active members to bring it back!
invite link: https://discord.gg/3mQVvBRJ
No dice rolling needed :3

It started in my teenage years and has become worse, especially in the last few years when our tastes and opinions have drifted apart, he calls me fat, claims i always break stuff (a good example is the stairs, one day i said one of the steps felt strange and he fixed it by hammering in a nail, except that actually diverted the stress to the wrong part and the whole thing cracked, he has blamed me ever since because i'm 'overweight') he always tries to get into my phones, he tries to hack my iPhone for instance by showing it to my face or just pictures of my face.
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A few months ago i bought a kilt and he has not shut up about that either, 'why do you want to dress like a woman?' 'we're not scottish' 'you're going to get yourself beat up wearing that' and he spews anti-kilt rhetoric in my face, today he asked me if i wanted a pride kilt, starting rumours that i'm LGBTQ+ is one of his favorite things to do.
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He also harrasses me about my long hair, saying it's dirty, needs to be cut, or why i'm growing it long or making up rumours, he sometimes puts his hand in my hair.
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He also spies on me, i ask to borrow his phone for something and go down his pictures, i find potshots of my computer monitor and my phone screen, i was just playing bitlife on my phone and he wasn't convinced, he kept asking me what 'website that is' and where i 'got the 101,000 euros from' he only realized when he googled it.
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He hates my taste in music, doesn't like me singing and thinks i'm sexually attracted to a former member of one of my favorite bands.
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I have a feeling the reason why he's been worse lately is because a few days ago i had to change the password to my youtube account, i got an email about a comment reply and it turned out he'd been using my account to argue with people and spam this one popular youtuber, honestly the comments reminded me of yayvideogames.
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He's also very paranoid in general, always thinks i'm writing about him and demands to see everything i do on my computer, if i happen to change tabs just as he walks in he accuses me of hiding something and demands to see it.
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Stuff of mine has been broken before too, like several fountain pens, he let a dog chew up a 50s esterbrook and hid the remains from me, he went through a hypergraphia phase of writing lots of things in my books and ruining the pages, he also once took an axe to my xbox controller because he lost a game.
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I'll appreciate any advice on what i can do, what i can say, etc i think some of the harassment is bordering on assault especially touching my hair and clothes, i also have audio evidence of him telling me he doesn't want me wearing a kilt.

A knight's efforts in the tournament have garnered the attention of an old childhood friend, who also happens to be the princess.
Info
You can edit the script or make more parts to it if you want. You can paywall it but please send me a link if you do.
There's a brief section at the beginning where another character (a maid) speaks. It's in italics and can be removed if you don't want to include it.
1,020 words.
I've done a princess script for ladies why not another for gents, lol. Feedback is welcome.
Script
[Maid]: "Thank you for coming Sir Knight, the Princess is waiting for you inside."
"No, I'm afraid I don't know why she's invited you." \Giggles* "Although with how well you performed in the joust I'm hardly surprised she wants to speak to you, maybe to offer you a token of her favor? Something for you to tie to your lance."*
\Teasing* "I'm surprised someone as chivalrous and strapping doesn't have a hundred of such tokens already. If you like I'm sure I could find a glove to-"*
[Speaker]: *Opens door* "Ahem! Thank you for bringing him, now if you could excuse us a moment. I would like to speak to the man of the hour for myself."
*Closes door* "Good evening, Sir Knight. Thank you for responding to my invitation. I, wasn't certain you would. Hm? Oh, yes. You may kiss my hand if you'd like." *Listener kisses her hand.*
*Flustered* "I, err." *Coughs* "Commendations are in order for your performance at the tournament so far. I can't the last time I saw Sir Henry unhorsed in the joust like that. Although I would urge you stay cautious, there is another day of jousting yet to come. I wouldn't wish to see you harmed by your overconfidence."
"Hm? Oh, yes. You may kiss my hand if you like." *Listener kisses her hand.*
*Flustered* "I, err." *Coughs* "It's good to see you again, it's been a while. Nearly a year as I remember."
"Yes, you have my..." *Sighs* "I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't have said half of what I did and should've phrased the other half of what I said less brashly. I suppose I was as angered by my father's decision as you were, though I wouldn't admit it openly."
"It was a mistake, to throw away a lifelong friendship when you were only concerned for my well-being. I hope you can forgive me for it."
"Thank you, I forgive you as well. If it's alright with you could we, talk? The way we used for, if only for tonight."
*Laughs* "Yes, like in the garden. I'm surprised you remember, you used to hate how I dragged you there all the time. I'm convinced you'd have refused to come at all if I weren't your princess." *Coughs* "The princess, of the kingdom that you belong to, I mean."
"In my defense, I used to hate it when you invited me to go sword training with you." *Humorously* "I couldn't stand the way you disarmed me so quickly, every time. Neither could my father, as I recall, although I think he was more upset that I was spending so much time with you at all."
*Jokingly* "He must've feared we'd ride off and elope one day, leaving the kingdom behind." *Giggles*
"You've grown into a great knight. I'm impressed by how skilled you are." *Teasing* "I like to think I had something to do it with it. If only because you needed something to show off to me." *Laughs*
*Exhales* "I was surprised when I heard you'd be competing in the tournament, you, made your feelings on it quite clear the last time we spoke. About the way I'd allow my hand to be fought for by strangers, at my father's request."
"It's not the way I'd dreamed of being wed but it can't be helped. I'm the Fifth born of my siblings and third born of my sisters. There no alliances that need be struck, only fame and favor to curry with the people. Hence, this tournament is to decide my fate."
"I don't fault you for participating however, even if you don't hope to claim the ultimate prize."
*Pause*
*Shyly* "Or, do you?"
"I-I understand of course. Marriage to a princess would elevate you and your family to great heights. If that's what you want I'll support you."
*Listener grabs her hand* "M-my hand, why are you...?"
*Timidly* "I'm, more than a prize to you, aren't I?"
*Nervous laugh* "Excuse me I, need a moment.* *Happier laugh* "I never dreamed anyone would ever actually... Let alone that you'd..."
"No no! You haven't upset me, quite the opposite actually."
"Truthfully I'd, always held an interest in you. A romantic one." *Wryly "It'd have infuriated my father if we were to court and yet he'd probably have banished you if you'd broken my heart. So I, kept my interest to myself, as much as I was capable, I'm pretty sure my siblings caught on at some point."
"Which, I suppose would explain why they encouraged me to reach out to you. I was nervous but, I'm glad I did."
"Ahem, forgive me, but might I kiss you? I've wanted to for a while now."
*Kiss*
*Laugh* "Not the romantic first kiss I used to dream of, and yet at the same time it's everything I always wanted. Thank you, for everything."
"It's not going to be easy though. I have faith in your abilities but this tournament's attracted some of the kingdom's finest knights. If you lose then we-"
"No, you're right. I can't think like that, not tonight. Not when we have so little time to spend together, we should think of cheerier things."
"Please, tell me about your travels. I've tried to keep track, even if from afar, but I'd like to hear of them from you."
*Fading out* "Is it true you've traveled outside the kingdom?"
*Pause*
*Fading in* *Laughter* "And the Baron still hasn't let you back in the city? Goodness, I'll have to write to him on your behalf."
*Pause*
*Sighs* "I'm afraid it's time. If you linger here any longer we'll certainly be caught. If it gets back to my father he might prevent you from competing in the rest of the tournament."
"I'm, frightened. If you don't win then... No, I don't want to think about that."
*Kiss*
*Pause*
"Before you go! Here, take my glove, tie it to your lance or arm. I doubt my favor carries any tangible weight in the competition to come, but I want everyone to know that you have it."
"That you're the one I want to marry."

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRASadsadboon posting in relationship_advice
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 17th February 2024
Update - 23rd February 2024
Previous BORU is here
1 New Update
Update 2 - 15th May 2024
​
I (29M) lost my wife three years ago. Started dating again, and new girlfriend (32F) wants to visit my wife's grave.
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I am one of many who lost someone in that damn 2020. She was my world and we had our future all set up, she wanted children too by 2021, and then she was gone.
I felt I had lost all sense of purpose and after an agonizing year, moved away - not too far, but not close either. I didn't feel like I could breathe in that town. Still, every Saturday I get back and visit her resting place.
I just functioned for about two years - I am not depressed or anything like that, but I just functioned. Until I met who we will call Ada last year.
We started talking and hanging out together. She can be a bit haughty with people she doesn't know well but I was surprised to find out how sweet and kind she is under the ice. She gave me something to look forward to again. She likes to do most of the talking herself, which is fine with me because I never know what to say.
She knows everything about my wife, and this didn't discourage her. She knows I am doing therapy and still mourning, but she never left me alone. I asked her to tell me if anything I do or say makes her feel uncomfortable or like she's not a priority - she said that as of now I am doing nothing of the sort. She knows what I do every Saturday morning, and never objected to it. But today she said she would like to "meet her", as in accompany me in visiting her grave.
I feel conflicted about this. On one hand I respect and feel touched by her wish, on other it feels... weird, for a guy to take the new girlfriend where the first wife is buried. How should I approach this? Is it too soon, should I ask her to wait for that?
TL;DR I am a widower who started dating. Girlfriend wants to visit my wife's grave and I have conflicting feelings about it.
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Comments
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jiddlyjidson
Waiting is fine if you are not ready. It feels like she wants to support you in something that was (and am sure still is) pretty traumatic. Joining you to visit isn’t about meeting your wife, it’s about being with you whilst you are still grieving/recovering.
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Inner-Pianist-7628
Came here to say this last part. She genuinely wants to be apart of your life and support you bro. This is actually kind of beautiful. On the flip note it’s totally understandable that you might not be ready though.

OOP: Thank you. I admit that one of my biggest concerns is that I don't want to take advantage of her goodwill, even unintentionally. Her kindness and patience are near infinite, but I told her I don't want our relationship to be all about this, it would not be fair for her. She reassured me she doesn't feel taken advantage of and that I do a lot to make her feel loved and appreciated for who she is, but at the same she recognizes this is a part of me she's willing to accept to be with me.
To clarify, I don't do anything dramatic like talking to her grave or crying my eyes out when I visit. I just keep it clean, water the flowers and replace the dead ones, check the wear and tear on the stone, and clean the glass with her picture.

​
Update - 6 days later
​
Some additional info and an update.
Some redditors and some people around us were worried that my relationship with Ada is just a rebound. I admit is something that I too was worried about, and Ada told me she didn't have long lasting expectations at first.
We began dating in April 2023, but as things progressed and she saw my intentions are serious and I'm committed, her doubts about me were gone. She says we are made of the same stuff - we are two loyal, committed and hardworking people and she wants a future with me. And so do I. We are looking for a new place to share and I'm looking for the ring to make my proposal.
I admit that one of my biggest concerns is that I don't want to take advantage of her goodwill, even unintentionally. Her kindness and patience are near infinite, but I told her I don't want our relationship to be all about my past, it would not be fair for her. She reassured me she doesn't feel taken advantage of and that I do a lot to make her feel loved and appreciated for who she is, but at the same she recognizes this is a part of me she's willing to accept to be with me.
To my surprise, everyone approves of us - my parents, Ada's parents, and my late wife's mother. We never got any backlash.
​
On the update. I talked about this with my therapist. She feels that based on what she knows about Ada and the way she always behaved about this, that bringing her to my wife's grave will probably be a positive thing. So I told Ada that if she feels like it, I'd be glad to take her with me this Saturday. She was happy to hear this, she usually works on Saturday mornings, but said she'd take the morning off for me.
However I had unexpected things come up for tomorrow - I have to cover for a sick coworker, which means I'll be taken all morning and great part of the afternoon. It happens, and when it happens I either go on Friday or Sunday. I decided to go this afternoon (we are in Europe, it's evening here) and asked Ada if she wanted to come along - and she readily agreed.
We didn't talk much during the drive. When we arrived, we made our way to my wife's tombstone and I just said "Well, here she is". I fetched the water for the flowers and start my usual routine, Ada just crouched as if to examine it. Then she just helped me with the caretaking routine, removing the dead leaves and flowers, and cleaning the picture and the light. We then took a walk around the cemetery (might sound weird, but it's not unusual here as many cemeteries double as parks here) then sat outside for a smoke before the drive back.
We talked a bit, and Ada, who's quite the stoic, got a little emotional. She was happy I had let her in on such what for me is a particularly intimate and sacred place, but also shaken because after all the talking we had done of my late wife she subconsciously thought of her as someone she'd want to meet and be friends with, but seeing the grave reminded and cemented the fact that this amazing woman is gone. It was a bit of shaking for me too seeing her tearing up, since she's the most stoic woman I've ever met, but also made me think how this woman is a rare gem.
I don't doubt that in different circumstances, my late wife and Ada would have been great friends. And I'm a very lucky guy for finding not one, but two amazing woman which gave and still give my life meaning every day.
TL;DR I brought my girlfriend to my late wife's grave, and things went well.
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Comments
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TBagger1234
I’ve read so many posts here about people who have lost their partner and their new partner wants them to remove all memory of them as if they aren’t an important part of your life story. Ada is a good one. All the best OP!

OOP: Yeah, I read some of those posts too. Stuff of nightmares.

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grandmasvilla
You are blessed to meet someone like Ada who is kind and understanding. Show your appreciation for her with your love and make her happy for the rest of your life. All the best.

OOP: Naturally, my friend. Making her happy and smile every day is my top priority. She gave me another chance at life.

​
Update 2 - 3 months later
​
Hello, I hope everyone here is well.
For a couple of months I had forgotten about this account, but I gave it a look the other day and read again all the beautiful comments and some very touching private messages. Again, thank you all for your interest and kindness.
Ada and I are doing well and we have found a place to move in together. If all goes well we'll be living together by July. Last month was the fourth anniversary of my late wife's passing. Ada was with me and held my hand.
I was a bit depressed like I am always am on our anniversaries, but Ada made it better. Sometimes I dream about my late wife, her coming back home, but either she never talks or I never remember what she says. However, when I dreamed her that night, in the dream there was Ada as well and they met each other. She was very happy about us and told me she's happy Ada is there for me when she can't.
I talked with Ada about the dream, and we agreed it's my brain telling me it's okay to move on. I'll always love, honor and cherish my late wife, but now there is Ada who is giving me so much and deserves to be happy, to be loved and honored the way she deserves. And I don't intend to disappoint her.
As an aside, Ada also said that who knows, it could also be the spirit of my late wife visiting me in the only place she can, my dreams. She says we can see like that if we take the spiritual approach. Honestly I wouldn't know, death is one of those mysteries only those who passed have discovered, and they can't tell us.
We are doing well. We have also managed to program our first true vacation together and I was proud to formally introduce Ada as my partner when my company's CEO invited me to dinner with her husband.
It's an exciting new journey and we are thrilled to see where it will lead us. We are a team and we have a game plan.
TL;dr Things are good.
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Comments
BigIronBruce

I talked with Ada about the dream, and we agreed it's my brain telling me it's okay to move on

This is very sweet but I want to caution you that grief is complicated and recovery does not always happen in a straight line. You might sometimes have really complicated feelings of betrayal or heartbreak in the future and that's normal.
It's ok to move on, I'm sure your wife would want that but be careful of interpreting dreams.
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mak_zaddy
I love a great Reddit update. A true palate cleanser.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

You want your Lover to eat you, or you want to eat them. That way you two are living inside each other. There is this empty place inside me that is his shape and ironically there is a place inside him just for me that I want to crawl into. Actually, what I really want is merging. A complete mixing where there is 25% me 25% him and 50% us. A blending so intense that it creates a new being. That is why I literally asked to mix blood. This merging or consuming is simply not possible. Mixing blood is problematic at best and lasts only 120 days. The half-life of transfused blood is 30 days. See, I researched this craziness, and yes, it helps that he is in medicine. Eating or drinking is a momentary high and it is digested which I don't feel is all that romantic. So, I came up with alternatives.
The alternatives maintain that "high" and it is socially accepted, even encouraged. It all began with my grandmother who taught me the finer points of cooking. So, I will use cooking to ingest each other...maybe metaphysically...but it will be continuous. Like how I use music. I will make it so that he craves what I'm doing. I learned from my grandmother that every good cook needs to sign her food with a specific spice or herb that makes the dish her own. I also learned that some cooks will also assign their Lover a spice or herb to represent their essence thereby incorporating them into food and beverages. This custom and other folklore was brought to mind and I set out "eating him" and herbally binding us together and he "eating me". After receiving the care package this process began slowly and simply and since then it has become quite elaborate. First I changed my wedding colors to Periwinkle, Rosemary and Ivory. Then I bought a periwinkle plant and some apples then I started buying/making/adapting teas.
"I need apples now! I need the Jeep Finnian!" "Ok, ok, ok...the keys are where I put them. What's wrong?" This trip to the store was as urgent as if I suddenly needed a hygiene product. Afterwards, Finnian scanned through a couple of the marriage books my mom had sent along with the herbs while I was chopping apples. I cooked them in a simple little stewed apple dish overloaded with cinnamon. I remembered reading that apples were a "marriage" fruit. While he was trying to read I was trying to feed him these apples. "There's too much cinnamon, stop." "No, you need to finish the dish. Por favor, you really need to eat this!" - excerpt from another IRL story
My actions in hindsight are sweet and comical and a little twisted. I began shoving apples in Finnian's face, bringing him unusual teas and the apartment began to smell like cinnamon. This all has meaning. I'm afraid I've gotten quite elaborate in my rituals, potions, teas, cooking, decor, music choices, clothing and jewelry even calendar just everything has something that connects he and I. Yes, we did eventually come up with a blood ritual that I may write about later.
More to follow... with examples

I ran a test buy from Weidian store thru Hoobuy. Heres how the process went for me...
Everything was pretty simple all the way up to the checkout. You pick your product(s), load it to the Hoobuy site, add it to cart (I ordered 3 things), pay for it and Hoobuy takes it from there simple...
Now once you pay for it it's out of your hands. Let me say the contact option is utterly useless as I've sent multiple chat request and emails with no response and the first email was sent 25 days ago.
On to the process Hoobuy will accept payment and move the purchase along to the orders tab where you'll be given an order number for the complete order at the warehouse (I.E. if its multiple products it's still one order number). Now, each product will be given status updates individually (received, quality inspection, submit parcels, shipped).
Back to the order. 3 products (shoes) same store, same day, and under same order number. While one product was QC'ed bonus pics taken and ready for me to pick shipping in 2 days the others have been sitting in a received status for 30 days with no movement as I'm writing this.
For the pair that was made available to be shipped (parcel). I choose the cheapest option USPS in my case. After purchasing shipping for 1 product (each product will have its own shipping price) again I saw this process happen quickly. From the time I paid for shipping to the time I received a picture of the package ready to be picked up to be shipped, was a day and I was provided with a tracking number. Even though I had a tracking number USPS didn't have an update until 11 days later when it was picked up by a shipping partner then given to USPS. From that point it was pretty standard post office stuff took about 5 days for the item to arrive after the post office got it.
SHORT Story!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17 Apr order submitted 22 Apr order arrived at Hoobuy warehouse 23 Apr it was stored 24 Apr it was packaged 25 Apr Shipping Label created 06 May Arrived at airport and picked up by shipping partner 09 May left shipping partner 12 May arrived at USPS 16 May I received the product in great condition.
So still waiting on 2 products but the one that came is fire!! Hopefully this helps!

It actually could sound stupid but for me is really important. I, (16F), go to an arts school to the faculty of Architecture, which is pretty heavy, not going to lie, and I happen to be on almost deadline of a school project, called PCTO, which in Italian stands for 'percorsi per le competenze trasversali e l'orientamento' (Translated to: paths for transversal skills and orientation) which is to represent a room with a copula, an raised, (in italian: un'Alzata.), and with an altar, all of an important thing about a church that had been robbed of a painting.
So, I happen to have to work on it till Monday so I have 3 days to finish it, while also writing a relation about all of it and my sister, (18th F), happened to invite her friends over to grab a coffee, to have a chat and so on.
I also had warned her that I had to work on this important project but she got mad at me, saying that I could work on it in my brothers room, he is out of town for work, but the problem is I have to work on a big table, (the paper is 50×70 — previously 50×100, had to cut it.) And in vertical.
She got mad at me and also insisted till she finally gave in but still was mad at me that she always glared at me, and also scolded me for not saying 'hello' to her friends because I was busy.
So, Reddit, am I the AITHA? Also, I apologise for the long post, I just want to hear Reddit opinions and advices on how to react to these kind of events.
Have a good day/night!

hi everyone!
i want to write an AU fic where jaime lannister and lyanna stark are betrothed to one another fairly early on. i’m struggling with two things, however
1.) what would make tywin agree to the match? the starks are an ancient noble kingly family, so lyanna’s lineage isn’t a problem. i just don’t know if having an alliance with the starks would be super appealing to tywin. so some ideas of what her dowry would entail would be really helpful! in this scenario rickard wants to develop the stony shore area to create a western port town in the north, maybe he strikes some type of tax deal with tywin?
2.) who should cersei be betrothed to? in this AU rhaegar is still married to elia and she’s not dying any time soon. idk if tywin would wait much longer to have cersei married. i was thinking a vassal of house lannister or maybe elbert arryn if tywin wanted to form another marriage alliance with another great house
your thoughts and ideas are highly appreciated and thank you in advance!!

I have been at my (now former) job for just over 2 years. I’ve been constantly let down, been told positions weren’t available that were then handed to someone else right in front of me, been told I’d get things and then they never followed through. And recently, about a month or two ago, I was told that if my performance didn’t improve, there would be “further disciplinary action taken.” I took it seriously. I started coming in early, and with guidance from a manager of another store, my sales skyrocketed. I was on my way to becoming a top performer in my store.
They called me back today to fire me. For what? “Not working full shifts- leaving early.” And wouldn’t give me specifics when I asked. They told me it would be available in the Workday portal. It wasn’t. Everyone in my store leaves early, and management is the worst about it! My store manager is constantly leaving early or coming in late. Same with our assistant manager. She leaves early ALL THE TIME. They’ll take extended lunches, come in late, everything they said I did wrong.
I was planning on leaving soon regardless, but this was genuinely so unexpected. I have nothing in writing because they refused to release any information over email, teams message, anything. It was all to be done over video calls and I was told not to record “out of respect.”
I hated this company before and now I hate it even more. Three stores have closed in the last 3 years in this district alone. I hope the rest are to follow.

I have spent all day running all over god's green earth trying to get anything done for my OCONUS PCS and every single step of the way Im running into roadblocks or just silly/ stupid hangups.
Squadron doesn't have enough computers so I wait for one. 2/3rds of the printers are broken/dont have ink, the one working printer doesn't have paper, nobody knows where the paper can be found. The attachments from flank speed refuses to download. After a chain of about 6 emails over the span of 6 days the on base Passport office decided its now time to inform me that they only take appointments before noon and they are fully booked for the next 3 months. When I go to the office in person and ask about other office locations they give me a phone number. That phone number puts me on hold for 20 minutes then they hang up immediately after answering. You call back and after another 20 minutes they tell you to contact the nearest Passport office. I tell them that they referred me to you. So they eventually give me 3 phone numbers. 2 of the 3 are to offices that have nothing to do with passports and the 3rd is disconnected. So I try Google, I find a bunch of .gov websites with phone numbers. Probably called 7 at this point and not a single one was correct or connected. You give up on passports and decide to turn in your medical packet for the OSS. They then inform you that a dentist needs to sign the dental portion, having a rando in dental is not sufficient. So I go back to dental and they tell me that the dentist needs to see me again before it can be signed even though its already signed by someone else, and they saw me less than 3 months ago. oh and they lost my dental records. Of course they have 0 availability between now and when I checkout. So i go to medical to see if I can get a waiver. They don't know but as they were looking they found out that I need another vaccine and that Ive been expired since January. My last physical was in February but whatever, so i drive to the clinic to get that done but the civilian that works the desk cant be found. He is eventually found but its after 1300 so ill have to come back another day. Admin might be able to help, I meet with them, they tell me that I need to contact the on base hotel that is nearest my training location to get a CNA. I call the only hotel on base, they are privately owned, cant give a CNA. I tell admin, they are at a loss, no idea how to proceed. Maybe ill check in with my liaison officer near the training location. Her office phone rings indefinitely, her cell number rings once then goes to voicemail. She still hasn't replied to my email either. Admin also said that I need to secure my own rental car via SATO. On hold again for course, they eventually answer and tell me that my admin hasn't created a reservation for the trip yet so she is not able to reserve my rental car. I return my wife's call; she tell me that the location we are going to requires my dog to be neutered. The vet on base cant neuter dogs so she spent all day trying to find a vet that can in time for our PCS. She found one, and its going to cost $1,200; probably about $2,000 after all the prelim app[ointments and such.
The issues im running into for my housing at the next location are genuinely unbelievable. I would share them as well but im pretty confident that everyone would think im lying. This is all just PCS related, I could write even more about my time working with other branches and doing other missions. Sometimes I feel like im living an episode of Seinfeld or something....
I could keep going but wont. In all honesty im proud of what I do and truly believe the US Navy is probably the most important military force in the world.... But boy is it hard sometimes. lol. The longer im in, the more I understand where the retention problem comes from. Was it always like this?

I've come to a dark, and difficult realization this last week, and ever since I've been really tired and operating on autopilot. I don't feel safe talking to anyone I know about this, so I'm coming to you, internet strangers. Every second of downtime that I get, I go back to this thought, and it's weighing on me.
But first, some back story. This is going to seem totally unrelated, but just take the ride with me real quick.
Although in many ways I lived a privileged life growing up, my parents and younger brother were all emotionally, verbally, financially, and often times physically abusive. There were times when I feared for my life. But perhaps the worst of it was that they were careful. They carefully built a reputation for me--clumsy, strong-willed, dishonest. It was a reputation that I internalized and grew to think was true, up until I had my daughter. Now, she's nearly three, and I am finally breaking my family's hold on me. Permanently.
Like most abuse victims, I tried to leave them several times. It was my baby's father who taught me how to leave for good, and who taught me the importance of severing ties permanently. When I first left him, I needed financial support from my parents, and was grateful to have it. I know so many victims don't have that and can't get out because of it. And, while they were the lesser of two evils, they've proved in the last few years over and over that they are still, in fact, an evil. And one I need out of my life. My dad got me a job when I was well enough to work again after I left, but it only gave him more access to me. And I let him. I'm a grown adult woman. At any moment I could have had the courage and the strength to just walk away. No amount of perceived financial security (because relying on them is not financial security) is worth what I've gone through emotionally on behalf of him and this 'job'. But now, after years of moving over and over again and not feeling safe or secure, my daughter and I have housing that I won't have to worry about losing for the foreseeable future.
I have provided for her a roof over her head, but more than that, a place to grow in and call her own. A place where she can put posters on her wall and have a playground in the back yard and raise a puppy. It's beautiful, and it means that I know that I can now pursue a career that better aligns with the schedule, work-life balance, and emotional fulfillment that she and I need to better our lives. In other words, I've put in my two weeks' at that job so that I can find something more sustainable and sever my ties with my family closer to for-good.
I think that this is why I've had this sudden realization about my daughter's dad. It has been an incredibly emotional time. The universe seems to be throwing tests at me left and right, as if to say, are you sure? Will you really go through with it this time?
And I will. I have faith in myself as a mother more so than I have ever had faith in myself as a person. I know what my daughter needs me to do, so I'll do it. I know where I want to be so that she can grow and thrive, so I will go there.
But it has reminded me of the person I was, who did not know this, and who did not feel so sure.
When I first met my ex, he said and did all of the right things. I was a newly appointed executive in a male-dominated industry, and I was young and single in a conservative area where any indication that I was not wearing a chastity belt read as an invitation to pursue to every man I worked with or around. I was fresh out of another abusive relationship, still repeating the cycle my family had taught me, and was vulnerable.
And he played the part of my savior very well. We were together two years, and I supported him through COVID and losing his high-paying engineer job only to one day, suddenly, discover that virtually everything about him was a lie. Not only was he cheating on me--heavily, while I was at work and he was pretending to freelance, with several women including some I thought were my friends--but he had no college degree, much less a master's degree in engineering, and he had never had the job he allegedly lost. He was a con-artist with two children by two different women, a separate fiancee he'd been with since high school and kept trying to bring into our lives, and so much more. He was using his older, disabled brother's ssn at the job I had gotten him to avoid paying child support. He had even lied about how his parents died.
I'm not even sure I knew his legal name.
To be clear, I found out about the cheating first. That was it. The rest of it, I'm sure I had vague suspicions of. But I had trusted him. If something was off, then he probably had a sound explanation and it wasn't my business. I was young and stupid, and he was still acting perfectly normal.
I broke up with him, then, just to find out a month later that despite using birth control and condoms religiously, and despite having more than one prognosis that I would never conceive let alone carry a child, I was pregnant. At the time, I was no contact with my entire family and had been further isolated from my friends by my then-boyfriend. Plus, the company I worked for was showing signs of selling--my job was by no means secure, and especially not so because they had a history of firing pregnant women in my position exactly two months after their return from maternity leave.
The point was, I was desperate, and I was scared, and I didn't know that the father of my child was a monster, so I tried to make it work, thinking that my daughter, surely, needed a father figure. And for his part, he seemed remorseful. He promised to go to counseling and agreed to certain conditions and, again, said all of the right things.
And then he started drinking. And screaming. And demanding. And...threatening, and then doing.
But at that point, I was alone. I was halfway through a complicated pregnancy that made me incredibly ill with small town doctors who were gaslighting me and not helping me, the writing was on the wall at work and I was enduring slander and drama there, and I had no one and nowhere else to turn. So I pushed through. I tried to leave him when I was about 22 weeks along. I enlisted the help of my friend, who supported me, and I thought I was home free.
But that night was one of the most horrific nights of my life. The only person I've been able to tell about it was my lawyer, a year later, when I went in to make sure my daughter was protected. By the way, he's not in either of our lives at all and will never be. I have and will continue to do everything in my power to keep him away from us. Not that he could find us if he tried.
Things only got worse after that night. and at some point. I told a trusted friend and my mom (breaking no contact) that I intended to leave. Safely, and in time. I started freelancing again and looking for other jobs, and I played house the best I could to keep myself and baby safe. I ended up being ordered to go on bed rest two weeks early, And then I gave birth, and my daughter and I both almost died.
It was horrific, and traumatic, and sent me into a terrible spiral. It was all I could do to care for my daughter. But it became very quickly apparent that I was running out of time to get her out. And this is where the realization comes in.
His alcoholism and verbal and emotional abuse were increasing in frequency and intensity. He was also growing more violent--even if he was just punching holes in doors. But he was also...weird with our daughter. I did everything I could not to have to leave him alone with her, and she was only left with him twice.
Once, for an hour, because I had to go into work and handle something in the middle of the day. He left my 1mo infant daughter lying, asleep, on her belly, on a very high bed with loose blankets and pillows, alone in our apartment while he moved something from one apartment to another. I have no idea for how long.
I tried to breastfeed, at first, and there were issues with that so she was waking up often and hard to put back to sleep. We later found out she wasn't getting enough milk because of a tongue tie and started supplementing with formula at two weeks. I have heavy suspicions that I was also underproducing because of stress and emotional duress. One night, he was frustrated because even though I was sleeping in the living room and taking care of the baby while he slept in the bed, he couldn't sleep, and blamed me for being an incompetent mother. He took her from me, and put her to sleep with him in bed. I knew he was drunk. I went in to check on her--I was anxious, I had done tons of research on safe sleep. He saw me, screamed at me, and then blamed me for waking her up.
Later, he would try to put rice cereal in her bottle and make those "knockout bottles" that are incredibly dangerous when I wasn't looking. There were a number of weird incidents like this which he chalked up to being older than me, and being the way he'd raised his other two babies. And back then I really thought it was just all apart of the abuse--targeted at me.
We got out when she was five months old and today she's a sweet, happy, healthy kid.
But, and honestly maybe this should have occurred to me before, I can not shake the heaviness of the conclusion that remembering all of these incidents has brought me to; he wanted her to die. I mean, I guess in a roundabout way he expressed this. He started berating me for not getting an abortion almost immediately after I passed the legal time to get one done where I'm from (they're completely illegal now but were not at the time). I'm not anti-abortion, by any means, but it felt like it came out of nowhere. He also refused to have any part in naming her or preparing for her arrival--even in raising her. I always thought that these were just manipulation tactics. That he was just saying malicious things to get under my skin.
Now that I'm writing this, I also remember one of the last texts he sent to me over a year ago, alleging that he had shot and killed someone before. It wasn't an active threat to me. It was just part of a psychosis spiral where he was trying to explain that we could live safely with him in his new apartment even though it wasn't in a safe area or something, and so I really just discarded it. I didn't see him anymore. He didn't know where we lived. He was only allowed to contact me still because I was building a case against him. It didn't seem like it mattered.
Now? Today? I think that if I hadn't left with her when I did, we might both be dead already. More than that, I think that if I had not had her and I had ended up back with him--or back in another abusive relationship with anyone else--that I would certainly be dead. I might have been the one to physically take us both and leave, but she saved me first.
So that's it. That's what I've been struggling with. And I haven't really fully processed what that means for me, yet, except that I've made another appointment with my lawyer to take additional safety measures for my daughter. But emotionally? I'm not sure. I'll have to sit with this, and I just needed to say it somewhere. If you read all of this, thank you.
tldr; i left my ex when my daughter by him was 5 months old, and now she's nearly 3 years old and we are no contact with him, but i've recently been hit with memories of actions he took when she was an infant that lead me to believe he may have been subconsciously or even actively trying to take her life

Been doing IF for 4 years now, lost the weight in year 1 and been maintaining since. Usually OMAD for 6 days and eat whatevewhenever on Saturday. Between travel and less discipline, I’ve slipped the last 4 months. Probably put 7 or 8 lbs back on. Last week I put on some pants I haven’t worn in a year and they were … more snug than I remember. Time to buckle down.
My one meal is dinner with the fam, usually around 6:30. If I’m feeling hangry I’ll eat a protein bar on the 5:30 ride home (wife asked me to not come home hangry). Sometimes it’s twice a week, sometimes not at all. Usually I’m hungry before dinner, but not so much that I’m irrational.
Today though… been super hungry since 1pm. It’s distracting, I can’t even write a work email that should take 5 minutes (but that I’ve been working on for 20). I went to grab a protein bar but came here instead to ask how y’all deal with distracting hunger. I’m afraid if I give in to it then I’m even less likely to get back on the path of maintaining the gains (well, lbs lost) I made previously.

Someone sent me a message with an email pic cuz they accidentally reported me for something someone else did. I did talk with this person before but not for months. They asked me to contact someone which is weird but I did and they stated my id and walletaid (i don't know what is that) and what did I do
Report Charges: Attempting potentially fraudulent activity I reviewed the ticket and the system database detected multiple reports were filed on the account about illegal activity for sending Phishing Links. Are you aware that your Accounts that is connected with your Email and IP will be permanently Suspended if you can't prove to me that you're not involved in any illegal or fraud/scam issues?
They asked me to asnwer some of their questions so the problem can be solved. I asked why didn't I get an email, they said cuz I didn't get the ban yet. I haven't answered anything nor they sent any links yet and I can't write to the person I got the pic from cuz we're not in the same server anymore.
But I read some stuff here about stolen accounts and I got anxious so can they hack into my account just by dming them or something? :'DDD

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