Looking into a new pc setup really liked the k19 based of of YouTube reviews and pictures but this sub seems to hate it. Do you guys recommend anything similar for a similar or lower price tag?

Hey guys, really glad for the group and all that l always learn here. I think l have a problem which l dont really know how to resolve/can it be resolved?
I started my channel ~year ago and do video podcasting/interviews on geopolitics/global macro/current affairs - I understand if its not people's focus/niche, dont worry about that, i really welcome anyone with insights to comment as its about the algorithm/technical shiz (you can check the channel via my bio if it helps explain).
Since a year ago l was growing slowly, reaching 1k subs in late summer 2023, and working on the 4k hours. Then in Oct l posted a video on India, and got 500k views - by comparison my highest at the point was 3-4k. My subs went from 1-5k in a couple weeks and the channel received lots of engagement.
Im not sharing this to show-off or complain either - l fully appreciate how lucky l have been in my journey so far, but am raising this in case this is a reoccurring problem for others, we can bring collective insights here.
The goal is more explain that since doing this event, l have begun to notice a trend. Many of my best performing videos are now all India-related and anything else l does really bad. Like we're talking 1000s-10,000s for any video that appeals to my existing audience vs a few 100 for anything else, even as l near 13k subs. Id hoped by a certain point views would begin to be consistent at say 1-2k views as others share happens, but its so starkly different l feel there is something wrong.
So while l want to cover Indian issues sometimes, its one part of much bigger picture. And lm now really worried that the channel is being unintentionally punished by the algorithm whenever l post a video that doesnt appeal to my existing audience. The quality, style, format etc is the same, just not the topic.
So whenever YouTube pushes a new video to my subs it fails and so YT stops promoting it, thinking its a bad video when it isnt.
Doesnt anyone have advice for this? How does one ensure their videos reach the right audiences? Or am l trying to be too broad by talking about events all over the world?
I've spent hours agonising over this, trying to troubleshoot why my videos arent performing, but cant figure out why. I feel this is a or the main factor and if anyone can help l'll happily do what l can to help your growth too.

I'm sure many of you have come across "trad-wife" content at some point or another online. I've been fed this content more and more lately, which had me thinking about what this "trend" means for mothers and families, and what impact it has overall for the mothers who are still "in the trenches" today. Whether it's a trend you participate in, or one you roll your eyes at, I think for the most part, it garners an emotional response from women, especially mothers, in either a positive or negative light. I also want to make it clear that "trad-wives" and SAHM are NOT the same thing at all, and should not ever be used interchangeably. These are two completely different things. A SAHM is still a working independent woman whos job inside of the home to be viewed equally as important as any work outside of the home.
I fall under the category of someone who is triggered by "trad-wife" content and generally have a pretty negative, critical response every time I run into it. But today, as I came across a video of yet another "trad-wife" influencer, who was defending her lifestyle, and call to "traditional" ways, I decided to stop and actually take a minute and be honest with what emotion I was really feeling when I come across this content. It isn't actually rage, disappointment or fear, like I tell myself it is. It's jealousy.
The truth is, my first reaction is jealousy and a sense of inadequacy that feeds off of my deepest insecurities as a mother. Jealousy for the mothers that can stay at home all day with their children, who can clean, bake, garden and cook with their little ones at their side. And as someone who is a working mum, but not by choice, I feel jealous of the extra time these women can spend with their children during these short pre-school years. I feel inadequate because I secretly fear I am failing as a mother by choosing a double income, over the financial insecurity of a one-income household. Inadequate because my house is a mess and I'm burned out from work from a job I hate by the time I get home, that I worry my children aren't getting the best version of me.
After the initial emotional response of jealousy, my logical brain kicks in and reminds myself that this lifestyle they are showcasing isn't reality. Most SAHM's aren't baking sourdough on homesteads all day. They aren't showing the 3AM wakeups or the teething drama. This isn't an accurate representation of motherhood for 95% of us. This leads me to my next emotional response, which is to then to substitute jealousy for criticism. I begin to list all the ways their lifestyle is flawed, naive and unsustainable to give myself some false sense of superiority to these women who are essentially just cosplaying.
I'm sure this reaction isn't uncommon. I feel it's a natural response for people to substitute the emotion of jealousy with criticism to justify their own lifestyles and choices that feel attacked. You could argue that the "trad-wife" movement is just that--a way for some SAHM's who may feel the need to justify their lifestyle and choices of not be in the work force, when surrounded by a world that places outside work in higher esteem than domestic work.
However, I would like to clarify that just because I feel jealous when watching this content, doesn't mean I wish I was a "trad-wife". I find the entire concept to be just as toxic as the "hustle"/"girl boss" culture they are fighting against. Not to mention, a completely misinformed and myopic view of what a "traditional" wife or family looked/looks like throughout the world. The "traditional" wife they are cosplaying as is just ONE example of a historic "traditional" family and a woman/mothers role within one. Yes, women have always been charged with domestic duties and childrearing. The home has always been where women have traditionally been taught to focus on, however, women have also ALWAYS worked outside of the home too—either on farms, factories or kitchens (etc). And women have ALWAYS outsourced childrearing to either a nanny or governess (if wealthy) or they had their eldest kids stay home and look after the younger ones. Working mothers, and hired childcare are not new concepts to the female history.
But, I do see how this trend came about. It’s an allergic reaction to the extreme push for women to get out of the homes and into the workforce. To climb the corporate ladder while breastfeeding. To pity the girl with the college degree and spit up stains on her shirt at home with unused potential. To take “equal rights” so literally we act like a man’s life or parental journey is identical to our own. Ignoring our monthly hormonal fluctuations and pretend we're fine to sit through that 2 hour meeting while popping Midol. That we add more value to society as another cog in a machine sitting in a cubicle, then managing your home and family, because that's just "sitting at home" all day, right? And maternity leave is really such an inconvenience…
Looking at both extremes, I found it funny how both sides share the same core issues/beliefs which do nothing but hold mothers, and families on both ends of the spectrum back. This is what I found were the major issues in the perception of motherhood at both extremes, when I took a step back and away from my own biases as a working mother.

1. We need to recognise that both lifestyles come with the enormous privilege many women don't have-- The ability to live off of one income is a privilege just like having enough money for childcare or family support is a privilege. For many, our family set up wasn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. The reasons to be or not to be a SAHM are not always a choice or preference. A lot of times these are hard decisions that include major sacrifices. Before you judge either lifestyle, acknowledge the privilege you might have in the CHOICE to follow either life path. A woman who HAS to work to keep her family fed, even if all she could afford were Poptarts for breakfast, is just as good of a mum as the one who made fresh sourdough that morning. The mum who has to go back to school shopping at the second hand store, and mend hand me downs to dress her kids on one income is just as good of a mum as the corporate baddie who bought her kids the trendy shoes their kid asked for. Both kids are fed, both kids are dressed, both kids are loved.
2. No matter what they say, we all love our kids, and how they turnout does NOT come down to your choice to work in or outside the home -- At the end of the day, I don’t think kids of working mums turn out much differently than kids of SAHM. I think we all know personal examples of rotten kids or adults with both types of mothers. Neither dictates your relationship with your child. As kids get older, they naturally drift away from us. The truth is we may mess up in ways we didn’t even consider. Our kids may always blame us for being overbearing by not having a life outside of the home. Or resent us for never being around because of work. Bad/toxic mothers can be found both in the home or the work force. Just think back to how the adults in our lives talk about their mothers--sometimes it was "mum had 6 kids at home, but she somehow managed to keep us all fed and cared for", or "mum had to work a full day cleaning houses, but she'd always make sure we read a book together after work". All mothers make sacrifices, no matter what type of sacrifice it is. Our kids aren't going to love or resent us for our choices to work or stay at home, but how we show up for them. Don't underestimate our children's ability to recognise our sacrifices on either end.
3. Full time domestic work and homemaking is a real full time job that hold just as much value as working outside of the home and should be treated and respected as such.-- Childcare is a full time job. Full time nanny's and daycares prove that. Homemaking is a full time job. We hire cleaners, interior designers and household staffs that prove it. Cooking, is a full time job. We hire chefs and nutritionists that prove it. So, when a woman is a SAHM does one (or more likely) all of the above jobs for her family, it’s given lesser value or consideration than someone who works outside the home? You hear “I like to get dinner ready and the house clean for my husband who worked all day he deserves to relax when he gets home”, as if you sat around watching tv all day? Just because you enjoy it, or it’s for your own benefit doesn’t make it any less of a real fulltime job. You deserve sick days and breaks throughout the day like any corporate job would...except you never actually get them. The person bringing in a paycheck doesn’t contribute a greater value to your family than you. And same goes for working mums—you already have one full time job, don’t discredit the work left at home as just “chores” that you additionally take on as “lesser value” expected tasks. If two people work outside of the home then two people need to be responsible for domestic work. These are full time jobs. Spouses cutting the grass and taking out the trash is not equivalent to cooking, childcare and cleaning. We need to stop ignoring the home in the overall picture of a healthy family life. We all need a safe place to live that is clean, we all need to eat nutritious food, and our children NEED someone to look after them. These things have a real invaluable place in society. As a working mum, I'm finding more and more how hard it is to bridge that gap, to manage two workplaces essentially, the home AND the outside work. All attention and focus goes to work outside of the home, but the home life doesn't just sustain itself. We are neglecting the importance of our domestic life in favour of the outside working life. This goes for both working mums and SAHM's. We need to stop ignoring that piece of the puzzle if we want to create the complete picture. As it stands now, most working mums cannot afford help in the home which is effecting our mental and physical health--SAHM's don't get any sort of financial nest eggs or assistance at basically working for free, which makes them more vulnerable to abuse.
4. Men need to be included in the domestic work in a way that sets them up for success. You are doing your family or spouse more harm than good by taking it all on yourself. -- By not giving dads a real opportunity to be involved in domestic duties you are depriving them and the children the full depth of a parent child bond and perpetuating that domestic life isn’t as valuable as outside work, or that domestic work is strictly a "woman's" domain. If you are a SAHM, and your job is to care for the house and kids, you just worked a full 8 hour day, just like your spouse. Because you stayed at home all day, most likely the basic chores have been done (though, kids are wild and even things like unloading a dishwasher can't be tackled), and maybe dinner is cooking. That alone is taking so much off of your spouses plate. Every family situation is different, every work situation is different, however, both you and your spouse are entitled to decompress a little after a full day. Dads need to be incorporated into the childcare aspect at the very least when they come home. Maybe since you spent all day with the kids, your husband gives them a bath and puts them to bed. Or, if you are a dual income house, maybe you split the bedtime duties, giving you the chance to spend SOME time with your children, after being gone all day--and just "play time" alone isn't enough or fair. I think a big way we fall down in including men into the domestic responsibilities, is for the same reason working mothers are struggling. The workforce was never set up with women or mothers in mind, and homemaking was never set up with men in mind. Now, some people will use this as an excuse to perpetuate that it shows that "a woman's place is at home", but studies have shown that over and over again, that fathers who are more involved at home make happier, more successful children. Children gain an enormous value from having fathers be just as involved in their upbringing as the mothers. And, I argue that men also gain just as much value from this. My husband is an equal partner in childrearing, and I'm in awe to see how much he has completely flourished and grown in this role. The truth is, most of us don't find fulfillment in our jobs. It's a paycheck. But a lot of us do find fulfillment in parenting. But to my point, we aren't setting men up to be successful in these roles, because men don't always think or approach things the same way as women. How many times have we had arguments with our partners because they ignored a mess, or didn't clean/do something properly, or we had to "nag" them to follow up on a chore...I know I have. But then I decided to take a step back and change my perspective on the home and family, and look at it as almost a military or corporate environment. Women don't thrive on deadlines and assigned tasks. We are better able to multitask, switch gears. To be too hyperfocused on one thing doesn't work so well when you have so many jobs to tackle at once. But men seem to work better with structure and direction. I feel like women see the big picture, and can zoom in from there, but men need to break things into smaller tasks before they can see the bigger picture. When a man retorts with "I'm not a mind reader", they are being just as dismissive to your needs and views as you would be by saying "you should just know". The truth is we are different. We were raised different, our brains function differently...but, I've found my partner excels in the household if he is given clear directions and expectations within the household. If instead of viewing it as two separate worlds, work and home, I approach it as equal sectors of one unit. Like how accounting is just as valuable to a corporation as their sales team. We are all operating for one goal, and one greater good. If your partner works outside the home, and you stay at home, then you need to view yourself as the manager of the home and delegate accordingly. How can you help your partner in their work day, and how can they help you in yours? You are on the same team. If you both work outside of the home, then you both need to take equal responsibility for the domestic work. You are both managers of the home, how can you support each other? What does one person do better than the other? Being passive aggressive because your spouse doesn't naturally see what needs to be done like you do, doesn't help anyone. Your spouse becomes defensive, and never learns, and feels out of place in home where you have inserted yourself as manager instead of an equal partner.
5. Other people’s choices don’t discredit yours no matter what they say. -- Everything seems to be a targeted attack these days. People can’t seem to live in a way that makes them happy without you feeling threatened by it. If a woman is happiest at home catering to their husbands whims, that has no effect on your choice to be a stay at home dad. One is not a threat to the other unless you begin to feel superior to another. That the way you choose to live your life is so superior you want to control the narrative and influence personal choices of others in your life by attacking someone else to lift yourself up. I can’t help but ask myself who is benefiting from staging us against each others? Definitely not the mothers. Lumping one group as “those people” keep us divided. Each side more extreme in their POV echoed by peers and targeted social media. We have been fed that it's an "us" versus "them" issue. That one side is pushing us back into the stone age, and undoing all the progress we have made in the feminist movement. The other side feels attacked for finding joy and value in living a life at home and as a mother, that society has stopped valuing their contribution...really, society as a whole hasn't changed much in the past 40 years. The workforce has more working mothers than ever before, but work culture and regulations have not changed to accommodate that. We have to change to accommodate them. SAHM's have always existed, but we have not elevated their status to show the equal contribution they have in our society. In the end, society is still just exploiting women. A capitalistic profit driven society benefits more from more people in the workforce. I think we are all angry at the same thing, a lack of choice and a lack of respect. Women fought hard to enter the workforce and gain independence and equal rights so that we could have the CHOICE of what our life would look like. But are choices are still being under attack. Being a SAHM or a working mum is no longer a choice for a lot of us. We are being goaded into believing one is more valuable than the other, and that's just not true. If you find peace and fulfillment at home, that doesn't make you any less educated or independent of a woman. And if you love your career and thrive in your work, that doesn't make you any less feminine (because apparently we can't be feminine and work anymore according to some...) or as good of a mother. We are humans and multifaceted and cannot and should not be defined by one singular role.

This ended up being some sort of weird feminist manifesto, which isn't want I intended, but I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. I suppose I'm just scared at how well social media has gotten at dividing us. Social media isn't inherently good or bad, it's a tool for connection, but now even mothers are being pitted against each other. We all know it takes a village to raise a family, but we've pitted the village against each other. We are too busy claiming we are "under attack" from our peers, when we're just puppets--they want us to feel "triggered", and I'm glad. Because now I'm triggered, but it's not at the "trad wife" who is harkening back to a world that never existed, but at the people who are instigating this. Who are filling women's heads with this nonsense, and trying to box up our "values" or what "femininity" means...what it means to be a woman and mother. Because being a woman and mother has meant a lot of different things throughout history. We control our own narratives. We need to stop insinuating that our way is the "right" way, or that society is faltering because women are no longer "feminine" or because women want to go back to staying at home. All of this is "right", all of this is "feminine". Being a woman can mean whatever you want it to mean, and being a mother just means loving your kids and doing your best everyday.
***NOTES: I know this was a very hetero/cis centric post that focused a lot of perceived gender norms that excludes the same-sex or trans families...even single mothers. It was written as a reaction to a "trad wife" trend that is extremely hetero/cis centric, so my reaction to it is from this perspective as a hetero/cis mother. However, I know these values and views totally effect all families no matter what they look like. So, I just wanted to put it out there that I see you, and would love to hear your voice on this as well.
Also, a lot of sweeping generalities in here as well. These are broad sweeping statements and generalisations based on societies general assumptions about genders and family life. Right, wrong or myopic, it's what we live in. My point in all this IS that every family and every person is unique, and that we can't keep functioning under the assumption that there is only one way or one family dynamic out there.

The dropper post on my bike has a nice amount that can't be lowered and just sticks out of the seat tube. I've seen pictures of some that stick out a lot, and some that don't. Does it depend on the post itself or the bike?
This makes it hard for me on technical trails, since I'm 5'6" with a medium size bike, on the lower end of the height advised for a Medium bike. Hard to dismount in case I need to. What is the best thing to do?

Problem
I've had three flats in the past week, all with the same symptom:
The inner tube is ripped near the valve (picture), and the rim tape is stretched (picture). I'm guessing the rim tape is slipping for some reason and pushing the valve.
What I've tried
I thought the issue was the rim tape, so I bought new rim tape and added it to the rim, but once again I got a flat so I'm out of ideas!
I read some suggestions online about using talc to reduce friction - but I wanted to check here before trying something else.
I've been using these tyres and rims for about a year and a half without issues, and this issue just started this week.
I massively appreciate any recommendations/suggestions!

After a dreaded update, my Samsung text has begun using sms/mms texting. I cannot send or receive pictures. I've read enough help sections and viewed YouTube videos for answers but to no avail. I feel like I've tried everything. A rep at my FedEx office said she's experiencing the same. Any suggestions? BTW it's a crappy Ao3s.

If you'd like more pics of anything, just let me know! Prices only include shipping to CONUS, though I am willing to figure up shipping for AK/HI. No international shipping at this time, sorry. Willing to hear offers on multiple items, only accepting PayPal F&F/Venmo, only paying F&F/Venmo to users with decent rep. If you have no/very little rep I will pay with G&S. Thanks in advance for your understanding!
I also have a trade/swap thread you can look through over here in case that's something you're interested in.
I am looking to purchase broken and/or non-working Nintendo handheld consoles from GameBoy to Switch and everything in between. Potentially also interested in broken home consoles, mostly N64 and Gamecube, but I'm open to seeing what you've got!
I am also looking to purchase an OEM battery for the 3DS XL or New 3DS XL system (battery model SPR-003). The battery must be for those consoles, not for the New 3DS or the 2DS systems. Preferably looking for someone who snagged one off of the Nintendo website before they were sold out, but I will also consider a battery pulled from a console so long as it is working.
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Games

• PC - Dungeon Siege II: Deluxe Edition and Battle Realms - $11 shipped for both
  • Dungeon Siege 2 includes all discs as well as the map and game keys. Box has seen better days but the discs all work great. Game keys not pictured but I can add a pic of them covered for proof. Battle Realms is a loose disc only.

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• PS2 - All games include their box unless noted, any that include a manual/inserts are noted. If just the game is listed, it's box and game only. All stickers are on the outside of the box plastic, not on the cover art! As always please let me know if you have any questions or would like any additional pictures!
• For free shipping on PS2 games, total purchase amount must be $15 or more. Otherwise, shipping will be an additional $3.
  • Driver 3 (w/ manual) - $10
  • DT Racer (w/ manual, back of cover art punctured) - $6
  • Fight Night 2004 (w/ manual) - $9
  • Fight Night Round 2 (w/ manual) - $9
  • Fight Night Round 3 (w/ manual) - $9
  • God of War 2 (Greatest Hits, w/ manual, no bonus disc) - $12
  • Gran Turismo 4 (w/ manual and insert) - $13
  • Heroes of the Pacific (w/ manual) - $7
  • History Channel Civil War: A Nation Divided (w/ manual) - $9
  • Hitman: Blood Money (w/ manual and bonus disc) - $10
  • Knockout Kings 2002 (w/ manual) - $8
  • Madden 06 (w/ manual) - $7
  • MLB 2k5 (loose disc only) - $3
  • Mortal Kombat: Deception (loose disc only, many scratches) - $10
  • Nascar 06: Total Team Control (w/ manual) - $8
  • Nascar 07 (w/ manual) - $7
  • Nascar: Dirt to Daytona - $15 shipped
  • NBA Live 2005 (w/ manual) - $8
  • NFL Head Coach (w/ manual and insert) - $6
  • Pro Race Driver (w/ manual) - $7
  • Red Dead Revolver (Greatest Hits) - $15 shipped
  • Rock Band (no instruments) - $5
  • Scarface: The World is Yours (Collector's Edition, CIB) - $70 shipped
  • Short Track Racing: Trading Paint (Gamestop case) - $5
  • SOCOM US Navy Seals Combined Assault (w/ manual and insert) - $8
  • Spartan Total Warrior (small dent in back of cover art) - $15 shipped
  • Sprint Cars: Road to Knoxville (w/ manual) - $6
  • Sprint Cars 2: Showdown at Eldora (w/ manual) - $7
  • Suzuki TT Superbikes (w/ manual) - $6
  • Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003 (w/ manual) - $5
  • Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 (Greatest Hits, w/ manual) - $7
  • Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell - $5
  • Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow (w/ manual and insert) - $8
  • UFC Sudden Impact (w/ manual) - $7
  • UFC Throwdown (w/ manual) - $8
  • World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions (w/ manual) - $4
  • World Soccer: Winning Eleven 9 (w/ manual) - $11

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• Bundle all 37 PS2 games listed above for $190 shipped.

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Accessories

• NYKO Xbox One Direct Console Charge Base w/ batteries - $14 shipped
  • fits flush with Xbox One when plugged in, batteries are well used but still hold a decent charge
• VORI Black Foam Carrying Case - $14 shipped
  • for Nintendo Switch, includes strap, case is better for stationary storage than transportation though
• OEM GBA SP batteries - $10 shipped each
  • three working OEM GBA SP batteries, battery only
  • all have small bloat
  • will include a tested dead OEM battery for free if interested

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Empty Pokemon TCG Tins

• 2007 Diamond & Pearl Box Tin - Holiday Empoleon - $10 shipped
• 2016 Triple Power Tin - Shiny Gyarados - $10 shipped

Bundle both tins - $16 shipped
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Free w/ Any Sale (or $5 shipped each, add $2 for each additional item)

• Wii - The Bigs (loose, heavily scratched)
• PS4 - Fallout 76 (PAL, CIB)
• PSP - Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow (loose, no casing, untested)
• Headset - OEM PS4 Mono Headset (never used)
• Accessory - Nintendo Switch Lite Tempered Glass Screen Protector (x2)
• Battery - Non-OEM GBA SP battery (working fine)
• Battery - Dead OEM GBA SP battery (tested, not working)
• Other - Replacement GBA SP buttons & membranes
  • from RetroGameRepairShop, not OEM, buttons are clear black

Please help, I really need to find this song it’s bothering me so much. I cannot remember the title, but I’m like 70% sure the title is English/has English in the title with Japanese
I’m really positive that the voice was Miku.
The video was an MV, so it wasn’t just a still image for the whole vid, but I believe most of the animation consisted of still/slightly animated images and camera effects (I can’t recall exactly, it wasn’t, like, animated characters, tho—that’s what I remember. And it definitely was not MMD) and the imagery was kinda similar to PinocchioP (who is one of my top favorite vocaloid producers, so at first I thought it was from them, but I’m pretty sure it is not) but a little more edgy looking and less of a use of character animation. The content of the video was very consistent, it stayed the same style and setting and used a lot of the same bits several times. The music video jumped around a decent amount, it was one of the more chaotic (in a good way) MVs but not anywhere near as chaotic as, like, Kikuo. I feel like there was some flashy-ness and quick color changes/flashes but I’m not super positive on that.
I remember clearly that there was a strong motif of skeletons, including a Miku skeleton (or maybe just her skull, I just remember a skull with her hair or clothes lol) in the music video. There was also a motif of the earth. The art style was not really anime, it was a more realistic and edgy feeling style, at least I think so. I don’t remember it showing much of Miku, but she was herself in the vid, not an OC, at least that’s what I remember. The art style for some reason makes me think of newspapers? Like, it felt handmade or cut-out, if that makes sense. But it was not black in white, however. It had mostly dark colors. It might have been sort of a typography kind of thing ( animated lyric video ) but honestly I don’t remember at all if the words were on the screen or just in captions (I always use captions anyway so)
The lyrics I’m pretty positive were in Japanese, but it’s possible it was in English. Anyway, they had something to do with people being stuck on their traditional beliefs and being very stubborn and close minded (idk if that was the official meaning tho, I’m pretty sure that was just what I read a lot in the comments and understood from the lyrics). If it were in Japanese, it definitely had English subtitles. I think some people speculated it was in the perspective that Miku was an extraterrestrial being judging humans, tho that was just theory too I’m pretty sure.
I also remember the comments talking about how this kind of song/video was different compared to this creator’s previous work, but a lot of people liked it regardless. I think there were lots of comments comparing their new stuff to their old stuff. I have no idea what the creators name is tho. With that memory, I think that this song was probably newer rather than older (but not super new either I don’t think, like it wasn’t made this year or anything, I watched it a long while ago. Most likely mid-late 2010s). I thought that their name began with K or M but honestly I have no idea, it could be anything.
I know this feels like a lot of random info lol, but it’s bothering me so much and everytime I search up “Miku song with her skeleton in it” it shows me “skeleton orchestra” which is not it and “ miku” by anamanaguchi for some weird reason. It was also not bacterial contamination. I have watched a lot of top 100 vocaloid or guess the vocaloid song and have not seen it in any. So, it’s not super popular. But, it’s very likely that the artist is popular, and this was a less popular song. I am pretty positive that YouTube recommended it to me and that’s how I found it.
I can picture it really well (I’m a super visual person) but I can’t think of any words/titles/authors. If someone could help, or at least give me a better way to search for it myself, that would be much appreciated.
Here is a short version of my info lol i yap a lot:
-Miku was the singer
-Title very likely had English.
-Likely in Japanese, but could have been English
-Almost certainly not from the 2000s, I’d say most likely mid-late 2010s.
-Definitely had English subtitles, either YouTube CC or in-video OC, even if the video was in English.
-Not well known (but author is very possibly well known)
-Had MV (not a still image)
-MV was not complicated- lots of repeated bits with mostly camera effects and still/slightly animated images.
-Strong motif of Skeletons
-Motif of Earth
-Miku skeleton (had her hair or her clothes)
-Similarish MV imagery style to Pinocchio-P but more edgy looking and less character-based
-Somewhat chaotic MV (potential flashing colors/lights)
-MV stayed consistent in style and setting.
-Not MMD
-Not an animation centered on characters (barely showed Miku)
-Miku was Miku, not an OC
-Art style was more realistic and edgy rather than anime or chibi
-Mostly dark colors
-Art style reminded me of newspapers for some reason (maybe felt handmade/cut-out)
-Lyrics were thought to be about people being closed minded and rigid with their beliefs/judgement
-I feel like there were people speculating if miku was an extraterrestrial being in the vid
-Comments frequently discussed this creator’s new vs. old work.
-Comments claimed this song/ video was different than the creator’s previous work (but still liked it)
-Not skeleton orchestra
-Not bacterial contamination

Just barely 20F, married, in the military, living with a wonderful partner in a wonderful area and I have a decent job.
I've basically been living in fight/flight mode until I joined the military and got stationed in a nice, relaxing area away from my abusive mother and ex. Before the military, I was on-top of my fitness and eating habits. I was more disciplined, cleaner, neater, and I was able to make the most out of what little I had back then. I was in a bad place in the bigger picture, but in terms of health and discipline I feel like I was way better than I am now.
Now it's like, I'm living super comfortably and I have no idea how to act. I know what I need to do to take care of myself and I have spurts where I do really well and feel way better, but then I will fall into modes where nothing interests me, I can't get myself to do anything, I can't get myself to focus on anything, I can't cook after work or clean or do much of anything but lay in bed and scroll on my phone, and I really hate it.
I'm trying to get tested for ADHD but it's a long process due to being in the military and I don't know how soon I'll be able to get treatment. Or even if I qualify.
I don't know how to get back into the person I was before the military. My job isn't that intensive, but I feel like I have some sort of executive disfunction and nothing interests me, or even when things do interest me I have to REALLY force myself to get up and do something. There's a lot I'd like to be doing and I feel like it's so hard to get myself to do it. I feel like I'm floating through life, eating whatever, doing whatever, and not achieving anything even though I've already changed so much in such a short time. I want to continue to change. I want to continue to evolve and enjoy the life I am choosing to live.
I want to learn how to use makeup, learn how to dress myself, learn how to get back into the gym consistently, get back into bike riding, hiking, yoga, journaling, etc etc. All of these things I genuinely enjoy doing and idk why I get into these slumps.
How can I take these steps to improve myself? I don't want to become a lazy adult who just lets herself go.

So, I'm not entirely sure what my goal is with this post. One thing I know for certain is that it will be very long, and probably sort of jumbled and frantic, more stream of consciousness than anything. I guess I just sort of wanted to share some of the important realizations I've had in recent months, and see if: 1. Other people think that they're fair or "correct" realizations, and I'm not becoming, like, delusional or something. 2. Maybe my sharing these perspectives will help or inspire someone else who has struggled in ways similar to me.
So, here's the basic background of things. I've always been a really reserved and quiet person, ever since I was a little kid. Add in being skinny and nerdy for most of my life, and maxing out at a height of 5'9", and I'm not exactly a hot product for the average girl my age (19, turning 20 in a few weeks). In fact, I'd never had a relationship until this past year in college, but I'll get more into that in a minute. Hell, I hadn't had so much as a first kiss until this past year, either.
And, at the beginning of this past school year, being my second year of college (as a commuter student, so socializing is pretty difficult), I began to really get down on myself for having never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl, being a virgin, etc. It started to really take a toll on my mental health, because I believed that there was something intrinsically wrong and unlovable about me. Whereas a lot of young men who struggle socially romantically seem to be directing their sadness, frustration, and anger outward toward the world, especially toward women, I instead found myself directing those feeling toward myself. I was convinced that, on a basic level, there was some vital component to who I am as a person that disqualifies me from being worthy of love or affection. After all, that's what 19 years of evidence suggest, right?
Looking back, I think a large component in this was how I had been struggling, and still struggle to a degree, with my identity as a young man. I'm naturally a pretty progressive person, and I make an effort to be open to the perspectives of other groups and listen to their stories. Unfortunately, as we all know, a lot of people have been harmed by the men in their lives. And I know, I know: if I'm not doing anything wrong myself, then I shouldn't take any of these stories personally.But I guess, given the poor mental state that I was already in, I took it as validation that there was in fact something intrinsically wrong about me, and that thing was being a man. I started to avoid people on the street, especially if they were a woman or presented as feminine. At work, I avoid going anywhere near female customers, out of fear of making them uncomfortable. I'd keep my head down walking from class to class on campus, worried that I might make someone uneasy with my gaze. It wasn't that I thought I was a threat; in fact, I knew that I was not. But I also knew that the people around me didn't know that. In their eyes, maybe they have to assume that I'm a creep or that I'm a dangerous type of man. And it hurt to realize that, and I realize now, like I said, that I took it as validation that there was something intrinsically wrong with me.
Due to that, as well as other factors, such as stress and exhaustion from overworking (I'm a full-time student and work about 30 hours a week, which is a lot for me, might not be for others, I admit), I experienced some of the worst periods of depression I've ever had, since being diagnosed with it and anxiety in 2021. I tried going to therapy. I went to a few sessions, then gradually started missing more and more due to a lack of time, until my therapist cancelled all of our scheduled future sessions. It was on me. I wasn't committed.
I lost my passion for my hobbies and interests, like creative writing, which had previously been an important emotional outlet for me. A lot of nights would be spent lying in bed, listening to a playlist filled with sad music and hugging a pillow, wishing it was someone who loved me in the way that I thought, or hoped, love would work.
At the behest of my friends, to whom I only presented my issues as being a little down about never having been in a relationship, I started messing around with dating apps. At first, I felt good about making some sort of effort to put myself out there. Like I said, I've always been insanely reserved, so doing something like making a dating profile felt like an accomplishment. Of course, nothing much came of it. Over the five or so months that I was on the app, I maxed out at about six likes on my profile, and only matched with two people.
But one of those two people was a girl who went to the same college as me, and we seemed to have a lot of interests in common. And I mean a lot. To the point that it was almost comical. Of course, I realize now that having some hobbies in common isn't enough to form a good relationship with someone, but I realize now that I was just desperate for someone who I could convince myself halfway-tolerated me. She and I started to go out, and after a while, we decided to make things "official." My first kiss. My first relationship. My first girlfriend.
It lasted for only a few months. After a while, something felt off. I wasn't as excited to see her as I had been before. It was hard for us to make time for each other, between my working and her being involved in extracurricular stuff around campus. Car rides and dates began to be filled with longer and more frequent stretches of awkward silence, as I tried to think of something to say or talk about, only to come up empty-handed. As we got to know each other better, I realized that we didn't have as much in common as I first thought. She was a little more conservative, not necessarily in a political sense, but more in terms of "status", if that makes sense. I learned that financial success was very important to her parents, and I could tell that it was important to her, too. She avoided telling her parents that I was an English major, instead opting to tell them that I was getting a degree in computer science, as that was my minor at the time. It seemed to me that the status of a relationship was more important to her than the quality of the relationship (pot calling the kettle black, yes, I realize). For example, there was a dance on campus that she wanted to go to, pretty much just to take pictures of the two of us together so she could show them to friends and family. But as for the dance itself, it was more of the same that had been happening before: awkward silence, short conversations, lots of looking around at anything other than each other.
After a while, I decided that, for both of our sakes, I needed to break things off. I didn't want to waste her time when I knew that my heart wasn't in it anymore. So, at the beginning of April, I drove over to her dorm, and we talked it over in my car for a while. At the end, we hugged one last time, and I haven't seen her since.
I think a key component in the decision I made is the fact that I reconnected with some old friends from high school, who are still local, even though they are going to another university. Over Christmas break, I hung out with them for the first time since the pandemic as, during that time, I ended up having a falling out with them over some dumb high school drama and political differences. To my surprise, they had changed a lot, and had managed to pull themselves out of the incel trajectory that I had seen them beginning to fall down during high school. They were kinder, more accepting people. My surprise was matched only by my pride in them. I had feared and assumed the worst of them, and I couldn't have been happier to be proven wrong. Since then, I've been invited back into their group chats, and I see them in-person with some regularity, when our schedules allow it.
I think having that connection made me feel more comfortable with the idea of being single again, and since the break up, I've been able to rely on them for support, laughs, and just feeling like I have somewhere I belong. Before, I found myself desperate for any kind of connection and fell into a cycle of denying myself that connection because I was convinced that, since it didn't just present itself, I wasn't worthy of it.
And maybe it has something to do with that, but on the drive home from my now-ex's dorm (though I still wonder if I should/could really call her an ex. Sure, we agreed to make things "official", but we still only dated for a few months), I felt my perspective on, well, at the risk of sounding over-dramatic or overly romantic, everything, being to change.
And I guess that's what the title of this post is about. The things I've begun to realize in the time leading up to and following that break-up.
Above all else, I've realized the importance of connection. If I didn't have a stable friend group again, I don't know where I'd be. Probably still in a stale relationship, clinging on and trying to convince myself that I'm not feeling the way that I'm feeling. I have people to talk with again, to confide in when I feel stressed or depressed. I go out and do things again, which I didn't realize I hadn't really done very much since the pandemic.
But I know that for a lot of people who are/were in the position I had been in, finding friends is difficult. If it weren't for my unique circumstances of being reunited with an old, estranged group of friends, I would absolutely be in the same position. I still really struggle with social anxiety, and talking to new people is a huge struggle for me. So, I've also had some realizations that don't have as much to do with the friendship side of things, and I hope that these can be of some use to people who also struggle with social anxiety.
I know that the idea of "working on yourself" is cliche and overused, so I won't frame it exactly like that. In my opinion, saying it like that makes it sound too daunting and tedious, and having been in those dark, dark places myself, I know that it was the last thing I wanted to hear. So, instead, I like to think of it this way. It's more like living in spite of your circumstances. Over the course of this past year, I essentially shut my life down, because I was so convinced that there was no point, because I felt that I knew that I would never be loved or accepted. Now, I feel an urge to go on living for myself, almost in direct spite of the fear that I may be forever alone. It's a fear that I still deal with, and who knows, maybe things will end up that way.
And, I suppose, that leads into my main realization, which is sort of an extension/restatement of the last one, now that I think about it. I now feel the desire to accumulate enough in my life, to reach a point where I am satisfied enough, that I can rest knowing that I will be okay, with or without a relationship. Before, my self-worth was almost entirely attached to my relationship status, and my lack of romantic experience. Now, I realize that a relationship can only come when I don't need it, or at least don't feel that I need it. Being a huge nerd and a writer, I think a lot about quotes from books, shows, movies, and games that have stuck with and there's one from God of War: Ragnarok that comes to mind here (by the way, I actually highly recommend playing or watching a playthrough of God of War 2018 and Ragnarok if you've struggled with masculinity in the same way I have, the music and cutscenes from those games have actually helped to pull me out of some mental spirals about my self-worth and identity as a man). It comes from a scene in which Kratos confronts his younger self, and is trying to decide if he is willing/ready to be a god again:
"Should I lose everything and everyone, will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I have hope."
It's a quote that resonates with me now more than ever (even though it's from a DLC that just came out around Christmas, lol). I know now that I want to get to a place where there is enough left inside me that I know I'll never fall into that dark mental state again.
Something else that I've noticed has happened is the return of my passions for my hobbies and interests, especially for writing. I don't want to sound too arrogant, but I think I've begun to realize an important goal for my writing. If I'm lucky enough, I want to be able to write and release stories that explore masculinity and isolation, and, if I can, I want to create stories that can help guide other young men and boys who have struggled in the way I have and continue to do. I want to create characters who serve as positive male role models, who are emotionally strong, intelligent, and kind. I want to write stories of personal redemption, and show that no one is truly ever too far gone to be able to recover. If my writing could help even just one person who is struggling, then I would consider my career to be a success.
At the risk of being too cheesy, I'd like to end this very long-winded post with another quote, this one from a YouTube channel I recently discovered, and one I would highly recommend to just about anyone: Cinema Therapy. It's from their video about "A Silent Voice", which also happens to be one of my favorite movies, and one of my main inspirations when it comes to the kinds of stories I want to tell.
"Depression doesn't go away, doesn't lift for most people. But there's a capacity to feel again. There's a capacity to feel joy. The cure for so many things is connection. And we may think 'no one want to connect with me.' But we just need to find the right people."
I think the only thing I would add to that is that, in my opinion, the connection can also be with yourself.

• Transphobic video using the word "tr***y"
• Referencing drag queens as clowns
• Doesn't disclose that reviews were really paid ads Edited her body for an Aerie ad, which is a brand that supposedly prides themselves on using real bodies.
• Was blocking and ignoring customers who purchased her Glamlite Paht 2 collection, never received their order, and asked about it. All of this while Glamlite was siphoning stock to CVS and also ignored customer inquiries about their overdue orders.
• Along with CVS, broke their "Beauty Unaltered" pledge by creating a display unit that is obviously filtered of the Trash Goblin’s face.
• Committed fraud by pledging that 50% of the proceeds from the Paht 2 collection would be donated to women's healthcare after the Dobbs decision. When anyone commented to ask about it, they were banned from her socials. This one is the most egregious, as there are people who might have purchased solely based on her pledge. She lied about not getting paid yet to make the donation just as the CVS distribution happened.
• She's myopic and doesn't care about her supporters, as she continually discusses her ED without the common courtesy of a trigger warning like most creators do for subjects like this. Her explanation for why she doesn't give a TW? "It doesn't trigger me, so fuck all of you." She's so disrespectful of Cody's sobriety.
• Does giveaways by making followers jump through engagement hoops to boost her profile but then didn't deliver on the giveaways.
• Begging... BEGGING.. followers on her broadcast channel to drop an emoji as a comment to inflate her engagement rate, as comments are engagement rate gold for getting paid.
• Claims she donates extra product to women's shelters, and then went on Instagram asking for suggestions on where in her area she can donate women's clothes. She's so fucking dense that she either doesn't realize the same places she supposedly donates product to is a good first start, or she outed herself as never donating before like she said she did if she doesn't know where to donate clothes locally.
• She's a terrible brand ambassador, which is on her and DBA. She went on a free Paris trip sponsored by Caudalie, and she shit talked how broken out her skin got on the trip (with the assumption she was using their products and services) and never once really hyped the brand that was paying for her to be there.
• Took money from Briogio for a campaign and at the same time posted videos about her hair falling out. She's so dumb she doesn't realize that she caused a causation comparison.
• She's lying about having clients, paying clients that aren't her friends and family. She is not a MUA or a certified in MA to do makeup.
• She brigades brands who don't do her bidding like a brat. Pottery Barn in the middle of the pandemic had shipping and quality issues. She sent her followers after them and then begged PB for more free stuff.
• She has her friends like HeartofGreg comment on her videos, which she then stiches the comment to review a product. She then takes that video and shops it to the brand to get them to sponsor the video.. and a few weeks later the video resurfaces as partner, paid partnerships, sponsorship.
• Tax fraud when handling gratis, expenses, and giveaways
• Did a giveaway for Chanel bags with Chris Appleton (Color Wow) and the Boston's Children's Hospital, which was against GoFundMe's Terms of Service. She never gave the winners their prize.
• Dogs a brand who sent her free items but then turns around and praises the brand when they pay her (She did it with Essence and KVD).
• Did a bunch of fake "pick out my wedding makeup" when she 100% knew what she was using including the fact that e.l.f. sponsored her wedding as a brand event. She says that's not true, but I can guarantee e.l.f. writes off the expenses they incurred for her wedding as a business expense.
• Lied about her YouTube page being her page. She feverously uploaded videos when she took her 5:19, baby tantrum, pity party break from TikTok but still needed to earn money. She uploaded her TikTok videos to YouTube, lied that it was her channel, and made money. If it wasn't her channel, you know she and DBA would file a cease and desist .. and win it.. to get the channel removed. It's her channel.
• Her filter usage is fraud. Period. There is no debating it. When you are getting paid to review products and apply a filter on your face and body, you are committing fraud. The viewer thinks it's the product making that effect and not really the software engineering team that created the editing app.
• With the PeeeLouish collab, they were caught pre-applying swatches from the P.Louise palette. She's also not really applying makeup in her videos. Cheeks, bronzer, and eyes are being applied off screen and she's swiping a brush making it look like she's applying it. Another sign she can't do professional makeup at all. It's all fake.
• Every ”in the wild” picture that’s not filtered shows the truth.
• She constantly lurks on other creators pages to find commenters to block when they shit talk her. Insecure much? She’ll unblock people to snark them and lurk, then block them again. We know she does this with Rich Lux.
• She supports James Charles. The grifting carnival barker loves the groomer trash.
• Community Contribution: She shits on her estranged half sister to her millions of followers, when all the evidence points to her sister being frozen out of their family at the age of 14. She claims her sister walked out of their lives because she “wasn’t the precious daughter of the family anymore” after Mikayla was born, and also talks badly about her sister for being on disability. Mikayla is an aunt to two girls, but I doubt she’s ever cared nor met them. Her sister also lived and lives right down the road from Mikayla’s parents home.
• She’s a known bully and coming from someone who’s now being regarded as an ED spokesperson. She told her friend that drinking hot chocolate would be “200 very unnecessary calories”, and that she was “just trying to help since you’re trying to lose weight” with that comment. She’s a mean girl, and she always has been.
• She cries about shade range while she brags about being soooo pale (um, really?). She releases collabs that are not inclusive for POC. She then brags about buying out and hoarding darker foundations and concealers to use as bronzers meaning the very little stock available for darker skin tones becomes even more scarce when her idiot stans buy up the product. She also blackfishes.
• She can't admit when she's wrong and aggressively lashes out to those trying to point it out. She called a comb and brush, and when corrected in her comments, she was incredibly rude to her own followers. You know, the people engaging with her content that's paying her mortgage. She is incapable of saying, "oops, my bad." Her integrity is crap for this behavior.
• Just like the above, the unwillingness to admit a simple mistake turned her into an ableist POS. There are those with low vision or no vision who listen to TikToks and rely on accuracy in speech and closed captions. Her "go fuck yourself, bro" attitude when called out about the comb incident made her incredibly ableist.
• She creates rage bait content to generate engagement gold via angry comments. This makes her a carnival barking grifter.
• She begs for engagement on her broadcast channel trying to force things to go viral like "nice and shaaaahhp." It's actually pathetic watching her do this.
• Used a derogatory term used to reference Travelers/Romani people and doubled down on it when people called her out and educated her on the use of the word.
• Lied about creating some Mother's Day shopping spree for a "family in need" saying that when she heard their story, she knew she just had to help. When asked in the comments about the story, she played the, "It's not my story the tell." Come to find out, the story is that the child goes to the school that Mikayla's mom works at. There was a raffle at the school, and one of the prizes was a $500 shopping trip with MikPickMe. The girl's mom paid for 40 entries to win the raffle, and she did. The only reason the shopping was done on Mother's Day was due to conflicting schedules. This was not a shopping spree for a family in need. It was a prize from a raffle that Mikayla's mommy had a hand in.
• MikLieHole took Rael's money and trip and went in days earlier with her emotional support animal, Codypendency, and did meetings with a competitor, Tirtir. Tirtir gifted her a Birkin while in South Korea, too.

Hello, I graduated college a year ago, moved to Austin, and started a job. I'm a bit of a homebody, finding comfort in the coziness of my own space. I'm seeking a genuine connection with the right woman that shares my interests and appreciates me.
Who I am:
I'm a 6ft, average build, mild-mannered guy with a good sense of humor. My main hobby is PC gaming. I am a competitive person and I enjoy games like League of Legends and Escape from Tarkov. I also would love to find someone I can play co-op games with as well, like Stardew Valley or Minecraft.
I really enjoy watching YouTube, tv shows, and movies. I mostly watch thought-provoking video essays or gameplay videos. Some tv shows I'm interested in and looking forward to watching are Survivor, House of the Dragon (S2), Severance (S2), The Acolyte. I'm also always down to watch a random episode of Parks and Rec or The Office.
I have a creative side and I like making goofy memes for my friends about inside jokes or just funny stuff I think of. I've been doing origami off and on since middle school and it's fun from time to time. I'm also into building models and I have a friend that's teaching me to paint miniatures as well.
Who you are:
I'm searching for someone that is 21-25 years old, close to finishing college or already in a career, and shares my mindset and some of my interests. I would like you to be confident and content with yourself and a good communicator. Honestly, just be true to yourself and be able to hold a conversation and have interests of your own.
Some thoughts:
I am all about good. meaningful communication. I'm looking for someone that is willing to put in the effort to form a real bond. I believe relationships are a two-way street and both partners have to give and take equal amounts.
I would prefer to text and voice chat on discord. After our introductions, I'd like to exchange pictures so that we both have a clear idea of each other's appearance. If you made it through my post and are interested in getting to know me then please shoot me a message.

Spin-Off of I Am SOLO

Catch up with the lives of former cast members of I Am SOLO.
나는 SOLO, 그 후 사랑은 계속된다

Cast of Solo Guesthouse 5 (SGH5) : Once More Special Season

Men

Name	Birth Year	IG	Claim to IAS fame
S6 Young Soo	1987	yooooooniverse & YT channel	US military guy posted to Korea. SelectedOkSoon.
S11 Young Sik	1985	stuart_seungkyu	Mensa member. SelectedYoung Ja
S13 Kwang Soo	1989	barosl	Software nerd. Final couple with Sun Ja during their season. They were almost edited out from the show because she hid her divorce from everyone. He has appeared on SGH2.
S15 Young Soo	1985	85_is_true	Alcoholic accountant with 0 rizz in the balance. Selected Sun Ja after much coaching.
S17 Young Soo	1985	ssong_0502	Has main character energy. Kept YSook as backup while chasing OkSoon. Selected OkSoon.
S18 Young Ho	1986	viva_jeon	Final couple with JungSook. Chased HyunSook on the side.

Women

Name	Birth Year	IG	Claim to IAS fame
S8 Ok Soon	1994	ayo_a0	Her popularity improved as the season progressed. Selected by YoungSik.
S11 Sun Ja	1995	sssaenggg	Sings well. Turns on the aegyo while eating. Final couple with YoungChul.
S15 Jung Sook	1990	lucyyy_in_seoul	Was only interested in YoungHo. Dominated a dodge-ball game. Did not make a final selection.
S15 Hyun Sook	1991	auddu_omy	Refused to wear a wedding dress as part of a random date with YoungHo. Following that, her behavior led her to become a top-tier villain. She read an apology off a paper several times during the live stream.
S17 Young Sook	1992	03_236	Cancer researcher. Selected YoungSoo despite him selecting OkSoon earlier.
S17 Sun Ja	1993	miinzzi	Lived in Paris for 8 years. Mid season dumped Young Sik without an apology to end up selecting the slippery KwangSoo. Apologized to Young Sik during the live stream and swore off dating till the new year.

Panel

• Defconn - thugdefconn
• Gyeongree (9Muses) - gyeongree
• Jo Hyun Ah (Urban Zakapa) - tenomahj

Links

Kocowa - Subs usually go up +24h from broadcast time.
Official YouTube channel - Clips from episodes and live stream
Wiki - Unofficial and it's in Korean. Turn on auto-translate in Chrome browser.

Previous Solo Guesthouse S5 Discussion Posts

SGH5E01, SGH5E02, SGH5E03, SGH5E04, SGH5E05, SGH5E06
NOTE: This discussion post may (and probably will) contain spoilers
It is suggested to please add spoiler tags to relevant sections of comments before the English subs are released for the episode.
It is requested to clearly note and add spoiler tags to Season-spoilers at all times.
See the Rules wiki entry for help on adding spoiler tags.

TIMESTAMP

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Remember to check our Ai Generator: CandyAI

Hey everyone! I am trying to recall an artist that would squeeze paint tubes to crest little cones for huge paintings. I'm pretty sure it was acrylic paint and he would just squeeze the tubes to create little cones or triangles and let them dry like that. I am gonna out a picture of something similar in comments if possible, please help!

It’s ironic these families, including their second (third?) family, the Proctors are law enforcement, military families because I’ve never seen an above board family operate so like an organized crime family. Emily D. Baker said this is so reminiscent of The Real Housewives of New Jersey- where Caroline says “Let me tell you something about my family. We're as thick as thieves and we protect each other 'til the end.” If that were more succinct it could be the family crest for these people. The fact that the Proctor family was so close to the McAlberts and still mailed in this investigation, instead of opting out because of the conflict, or performing a thorough investigation and not doing things like wishing Karen Read would off herself and looking for naked pictures of her. The absolute brazen nature of this family- particularly those in law enforcement, makes me wonder about their past investigations. Is this how they’ve operated for years? I hope that being looked into.

Wow! This turned out so long and was helpful to write when I was feeling really really awful an hour ago. Here it goes:
I’ve been following this page and a few others once I saw information on video game addiction a few months ago. I saw my family and step-son in so many of the stories, my heart and mind was transformed. I don’t feel alone and my son is certainly not alone in his struggles. To be honest I’m scared to start this new journey, and I’ll get to that more later.
I always knew something was different about my step-son’s gaming, and it’s been a struggle since 2-3 years old based on what his Dad has told me. Here’s a bit of a background of our family dynamic.
Jake had Pete when he was 19 and never had a relationship with Mom, Kate. They split custody and it was evident she was using hard drugs and lost full custody of Pete when he was 9. A lot of his time with Mom was spent on an iPad without regulation as early as 2. Routines, locations, and security was not always present. It’s tough to think about the severity of what Pete experienced. At this time school was difficult, and Pete was diagnosed with ADHD. Meds helped a lot, and once Jake had full custody he was all about routine routine routine, healthy foods, activities, table top games nightly, camping, you name it! His passion for being a single Dad to Pete is why I ultimately fell in love with him two years later. When I started hanging out I noticed Pete playing a lot of games and not being the sporty type or hanging out with friends. By this point he was playing Minecraft after school and on the weekends pretty regularly. Jake was a good video game police officer and we still had a ton of time together as a new family. Pete is kind and very easy going and we started a great relationship fairly quickly. Jake and I agreed and often disagreed about the severity of Pete’s gaming, but we would come together and set some house rules and go on with life. As soon as we got busy, Pete would dive deep into computer games and grades would drop. We would see feces in his underwater, lack of hygiene, not getting up, laptop under his pillow, exc. Almost like clockwork by spring break, we’d have this intense struggle and Pete would pull it together for the semester at the very last minute. Pete is gifted and was always in accelerated math and science glasses, but was able to do the bare minimum without studying. Repeat for the next 3 years. Fast forward to High School he went to a smaller school in a new town and actually saw more independence. He made a friend, Dan who’s still around and is everything you’d hope a friend would be to your kid. Their bond is awesome. We’d still have to police but things were getting easier and we weren’t seeing those intense “downs” like we were in elementary and middle school. I think he was more confident and even his teachers said he was crushing it! The summer was tough and we tried to fill his time up but nothing seemed to interest him. If he hung out with friends and was hygienic we just made nudges about time limits. Thinking back I think there was one more period where we found feces in his underwater end of Senior year and gaming picked up, probably because we dropped our guard.
Summer before college I got him set up with an awesome outdoor job working on a zipline/climbing course and he thrived in Pete’s type of way. Climbing is one of the only things I can suggest to Pete and he’ll usually show some interest. Confident, peppy, excited, getting himself up. Always going back to games everyday but maintaining work, a friendship, and a little independence is what we wanted so left him alone most of the home time. We nudged him into a climbing retreat as an incoming freshman to give him a head start making friends, and a clear head going into the dorms! Scary fun times, and thought it would help. Then we officially dropped him off. Wow, so many smiles and happy tears had by all. The light in his eyes and showing us around and saying how cool he felt it was probably the happiest day of our lives along with my wedding day. The day I read vows to Pete saying I’d be there forever and unconditionally. It felt like my son was ready for his future. As we were driving away Pete said his friend gave him a gaming computer for free and he was at the tech center getting it hooked up to the campus internet. Dun dun dun.
Today he’s 2 weeks into his first summer break after a year of college. Yikes. Things are not great and that’s why I am here.
It was Spring Break (here comes the pattern) and Pete was gaming, not verbally making much sense, unhygienic, lost weight, gaming non stop. He almost missed his 2 hour bus ride back to school and that’s when we snapped. The typical what the hell is going on, you’re out of control. Pete usually cries when this happens because he knows the gig is up. Eventually he told us the truth, he failed two classes his first semester (told us winter break he did fine) and is now on track to fail another science and lab. WHAT!! We drove out there the next day to meet with the dean because he told us he was on probation and we wanted to support him. We were so worried. It turns out he hasn’t had any social interaction other than winter and spring break and spent his days alone in his dorm. He didn’t even seem like himself it was so scary. We get there and we spent two days walking, going out to eat, the typical “you got this buddy” “just stop playing games for a bit” and insert the other 100 life sayings you want to say to your kid that sound so annoying to them. We can’t help it. We love him. He was like yep I got this, nodded through all of it and we left. Three weeks later we noticed on the phone things were sounding off again, and he confessed he hasn’t made up any of his work. His Dad got disappointed on the phone and Pete said he called the suicide hotline because he was getting “yelled” at. I was standing there, he wasn’t yelling but I’m sure just the sheer reality of the situation got to him. We were heart broken, and at the same time angry. We couldn’t believe he was feeling this much anxiety and possibly depression. We always knew gaming was an escape and most likely due to his background, but this just seemed too much for anyone to handle. Again, he promised to limit himself. We checked in everyday for the last three weeks not with a nag but just, how’s it going. Did you set a timer today? Amazing that’s great you’re so close to being done!! Just trying to keep it super positive. We knew it was totally out of our control. He failed, and actually never made up the work his professor said he could over a month prior. He lied more.
We knew something had to change and we were preparing his return home. Can we do game quitter? Can we just put him right into a detox in our home? Family therapy? Healthy gamer? Olganon? We wanted to smash his computer trust me, if it weren’t for my job I wouldn’t have wifi because my stomach is in knots. But, we decided relationship first, let him set his own limits (with our house rules) and really try to get to the root cause of anxiety and depression. We had good convos, we let him tell us how it’s basically all of our fault because of the pressure, no judgement. We communicated with notes and texts sometimes when things were getting frustrating. He skirted around the 3 hour daily limit every possible way. All he wants to do is play video games, watch to tube of video games, talk to “friends” on discord about games, play D&D online, or draw D&D characters. It’s just too much, it’s impossible to limit. He always had an excuse for a screen and we were still seeing 10+ hours a day on screens. He told us he’s feeling crappier everyday by us, and honestly we’re feeling freakin awful and exhausted too.
What now? Nothing. I’m literally doing nothing anymore starting today. I can’t stop crying. He won’t do his own research into gaming addiction and does not want to change. Today we just said ya know what, this isn’t working so we’ll just figure something out in a few weeks. At this very moment he’s going on hour 9 of gaming straight. Knowing how much we tried as a family to limit this for the last few weeks. I’m still angry and it’s hard to look at him right now. It feels personal to me? I know it isn’t, but it just feels that way.
Therapy!? Yep. We tried. Back when he was in middle school and high school. Didn’t want to go back and didn’t talk much. He got his own therapist at school per the deans suggestion and he goes but the one session he’s had at home, he got off within 30 minutes and said “he didn’t have much to talk about with her” and he’ll see her maybe once a month back at school. We are doing healthy gamer coaching as parents, but he is refusing to sign up for coaching on his end. My guess is the name alone. The risk of losing games is not something he’d ever discuss right now. I swore up and down they won’t make him get rid of games lol! Did not work.
What’s dad doing? Half. Literally half at all times we make a plan at night and in the morning and check in with each other about it all day long. It’s so exhausting and Jake is just ready to do whatever it takes at this point as well. He’s having the same struggles as I am and is 100% convinced it’s an addiction and has listened to a lot of podcasts exc.
My new plan…. Because I have to have “something” or I might blow up. Now I have to let natural consequences take the lead. He doesn’t have a license, because he couldn’t pick up driving skills with how his brain is on games. We tried teaching him for two years and it was honestly dangerous sometimes after a “bender. He asked me to go tomorrow and after 9 hours I’m just going to say I’d feel more comfortable if he went to driving school and he can pay with the money he earns this summer. It j=is just not safe, why does he deserve to take my car and put me in an unsafe position? I don't have to allow that... but it feels like I am still the bad guy. Looking forward, IF he fails college....when he is home he cannot have our wifi, will contribute to groceries, phone bill, and rent. We live in a rural area and without a car he can’t work. I will not be driving a 20 year old to and from work due to his brain on games. It feels wrong. Maybe he can’t support his habit without working. That’s all the “what ifs” but rarely does life go exactly how you picture it. We will just continue to get creative and roll with it.
Does anyone have any advice on how to not enable but also let them be in charge of their own destiny? Not saying anything or giving him a sad look feels impossible but I did it tonight. J was able to pretend it did not bother me that he’s been on there forever. I think I can keep that up? But I also don’t want to enable him.
My family is hurting so much. So many hugs to anyone who struggled and is currently struggling. Same to the parents who have that knot that won’t go away. Thanks for reading