#RelistWolves x Student PIRG

Earlier this year, The #RelistWolves Campaign was proud to work with Student Public Interest Research Group (PIRG) chapters in 54 universities across 14 states to gather signatures calling on USFWS to relist wolves to the endangered species list. Below is a note from Addie Cooper and Olivia Heffernan, who led the effort at the University of Oregon and collected over 350 petition signatures in just two days!
The #RelistWolves Week of Action at the University of Oregon
By Addie Cooper and Olivia Heffernan
My name is Addie Cooper and I am the current Chapter Chair of OSPIRG (Oregon Student Public Interest Research Group) at the University of Oregon (UO). We are a student-run, student-funded activist organization working to tackle environmental and social issues, on campus, statewide, and federally.
This year OSPIRG joined a nationwide campaign of students from 54 university campuses from 14 states across the country calling on Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland and U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife (USFWS) to protect the gray wolves in the Northern Rockies by putting them back on the endangered species list!
I grew up in Idaho, a state that, unfortunately, has very few laws and policies protecting wolves and other important species. I decided to attend the University of Oregon because of the beautiful nature and diverse ecosystems that I saw on campus and all around the state. Oregon prides itself on its environmental values. Having lived here for 3 years, I now consider myself an Oregonian, and I wonder how we can pride ourselves on these environmental values when such a keystone species is on the brink of extinction, with no real plan to ensure they survive and thrive for future generations. With the National Wolf Recovery Plan set to be released in December 2025, we have an opportunity to make a change for the gray wolves and we need to do it now.
When our chapter first heard about The #RelistWolves Campaign at the Student PIRG National Student Training in August, we immediately knew we wanted to bring it back to campus. Our whole group was super excited to bring this campaign to the University of Oregon because we knew students would want to fight for the wolves! Oregon is one of the few states with a stable wolf population, so we knew we were uniquely positioned to make a difference on this issue.
When the #RelistWolves National Week of Action was announced, we saw such an excited response from the members of OSPIRG. After announcing it, we frequently received follow-up questions about the virtual kickoff and other events surrounding the campaign. When we ran our campus outreach efforts, we saw an amazing response. Calling for the protection of a species that plays a key role in maintaining our ecosystems is an easy cause to support, especially for young people who are committed to protecting the future of our planet. We ended up collecting over 350 petition signatures in just two days!
There is such a large knowledge gap about wolves and their importance as a keystone species. Many people take assumptions from folklore and fairytales and apply them to real, living creatures. Students seemed pleasantly surprised to find out that wolves manage their own population and that they are responsible for a negligible amount of farm attacks. It was so amazing to have the opportunity to connect with students from all over the country and talk with them about the wolves, debunking the common myths, and showing them cute pictures that were provided by #RelistWolves! Although USFWS failed to relist gray wolves last year, it was an important opportunity to engage hundreds of students at UO and educate them about wolves. As USFWS drafts the National Wolf Recovery Plan, we hope to continue our work growing our coalition of student advocates committed to protecting our country’s vulnerable wildlife.

Hope someone can help.
So I was overpaid over several months by a previous employer in the last financial year. Before I left, I brought this to their attention, and after multiple recalculations as they kept getting the total overpayment wrong, we agreed on a total gross amount due. They began collecting small fractions of the gross overpayment from my subsequent gross monthly salaries (so that any excess tax/NI/deductions taken during the overpayment period would cancel out over time).
The deductions continued until I left the job recently. Before I left, I asked that they calculate the remaining overpayment in Net so I can pay out of pocket over several months. Didn’t hear back until I left, and now asking that I repay the remaining gross rather than net.
So spoke to them, after several confusions, they advised that I repay the gross and they’ll write to HMRC for a refund on any excess tax and NI. I spoke to HMRC to check that this was something HMRC could do, but they didn’t seem to understand and asked that I write them a letter with my payslips so they can investigate. This seems useless as the payslips and p45 would only show how much I was paid and not how much I should have been paid.
Considering I’m no longer an employee, sheer payroll incompetence and slowness to respond, I struggle to trust them to push HMRC for tax/NI refund if I repaid the gross.
After all this was their error in the first place, so I believe they should take on the responsibility of recuperating the tax and NI so I only pay back the Net.
If relevant, this was at a public institution.

Hey guys,
I’ve always wanted to get a pet bird that can talk, I think it’s the coolest thing ever. After much negotiation with the family, we decided to look into getting a bird.
Im posting this here because there are many bird subreddits, but not one strong one for just general bird keeping.
I’ve kept fish for a little bit when I was younger, other than that, I have no experience with keeping animals.
My questions are: What should I know before getting into this? What’s a good species of bird to start with? I know they get pricey, what’s a species that is easy to take care of and is affordable? (I’m looking at spending no more than $400 for everything) Is a talking bird a good pet for someone with a small amount of animal keeping experience?
Thanks so much for reading friends!

Let's explain the situation from the beginning. We are a group of 6 friends and little by little our friendship has deteriorated. I sent him a WhatsApp explaining that I would not take any more trips with him until his attitude changed. Now my friends are telling me to forgive him since we have a trip for the summer.
When we were 17 we always met up to get drunk and smoke. But years have passed and I'm turning 21. And I'm getting tired of this environment.
I think the turning point was when I bought my car on my own (when I was just 19 years old), I was working for months and once I bought it it was wonderful, everyone was super excited until the problems started to occur. Many responsibilities fell on me, organizing plans, taking home, always doing the shopping.
I mainly had a problem with a friend, let's call him House. House was always my closest friend and I knew him from school, in high school we hung out occasionally but when we created the group we became even closer.
We met every day and it was very cool, but I already realized that he sometimes had anger problems (once he broke the neighbor's air conditioning because they stood him up) as well as a childish attitude of always being right.
A few days before I quit a job that was exploitative and I was having a hard time, I promised House that I would pick him up and take him to a nightclub (after work) that is 4 km from his house (5 km from mine). . But I quit so I was happy to be able to drink and have a good time, until he reminded me of the "promise". By that time he had already resigned 1 week ago and we already bought the tickets 2 weeks ago. He didn't say anything to me until we were at the party and he made a passive-aggressive comment at me. I feel bad and I manipulate the rest so that they say that I had to keep my promise... Well, it's not that big of a deal but it was a wake-up call for me.
I had some friction with him, such as him falsely accusing me that he was stealing gas money from him after a trip for wanting to "overcharge him", something totally false. Or one time he got drunk and was on the beach on my birthday yelling at me and another friend to give him the bottle we were all drinking, we refused because he was 3 steps away and if he had wanted to be with us he could, Then he became aggressive and confronted me a few centimeters away, I pushed him and threatened to hit me. Afterwards we "reconciled" but I already mistrusted in a certain way because of what he had shown me.
His parents divorce, he starts drinking every day, he is dissatisfied with the studies he chose himself, no one forced him and he chose a higher degree with no way out because he was funny in front of others. He hasn't gotten his driver's license, he's not progressing in life, and so the months go by.
In my town there is a party and it is like the party that the entire region comes, including people, we are talking about tens of thousands of young people partying, well House meets us but informs us that first he should have a few beers with his friends, proceed not to be separated from them all day. The worst thing was that every time we told him to do something he followed them from one place to another like a dog, until I understood what was happening, he was with them all the time because they were taking cocaine. That disgusted me a lot since he knows that I don't like that and that if he had stayed with those friends of his I wouldn't have cared, but he had stayed with us.
A week later he organized a plan, as I always do, to go have a barbecue in the mountains, a beautiful place where House tells me that he has no money, I invite him to eat with another friend. When we arrive I see that we have forgotten the meat, so I have to call my aunt who lives 20 minutes away to go get it. I did the shopping alone, in the end I went down alone with my aunt, I bought them beer since House and another stayed upstairs drinking. When I arrive they criticize the meat I bought, I forgot to buy bread, and they criticize the coals I bought since they were very "small", in the end we cooked everything even on meat.
After 2 weeks I plan to go fishing, and that's when House openly tells me that the barbecue was "fucking shit", which seemed like very strong words to me. Mainly when they come from a person who has never driven to take me (he doesn't have a license...), I don't buy the meat, I don't cook and worse still he didn't even thank me for having invited him to eat, he has pay from his parents, they are officials. My parents are immigrants and I have earned my money by working. After that he reproaches me saying that since I am studying and he is "working", he is practicing sports. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FULL TIME!! Which is my obligation since I am freer than him, he doesn't know that lately I have been studying 9 hours a day, super stressed and bad. After that discussion, I didn't speak to him the entire trip back.
I don't want to see him, it's as if he had clicked on me * and no matter how much forgiveness he asks me and they tell me that "it was just a few words", it doesn't seem that way to me.
What do you think is pride or should I forgive him for the good of the group?

I’ve had this theory in my mind for a while, and I’d love to expand on it with Scout’s Honor answering my questions. I think I might have an idea as to how the Infected psychology works. Be warned, this is going to be a very long post.
First, I want to look at Ink. He retained almost his entire personality, even after being Infected. I’m going to use him as an example through this entire theory.
We know Burt used the line “The smarter you are in life, the smarter you are in death” and it was brought up again much later on in Season 4, signifying some serious importance. Kelly also once said, referring to Ink: “What happens when they turn you, but you’re already a monster?” I don’t think this was just a throwaway guess. I think this has serious significance to the story and helps build my theory a bit.
Let’s use Datu and his perspective after he was turned. He said he felt like he was “watching his life through the backseat of his mind.” Like he was lacking control. But Ink retained control, and both of them are smart cookies. Why? Or why doesn’t Randy show nearly as much control as Ink, and why did his eyes AND Datu’s go cloudy?
You could say the eyes thing is related to how much control you retain, but with Scout’s Honor and Joe, and also Buffalo Bill, I don’t believe this is the case. Rather, there are THREE components at play that separate Ink / Datu and Randy / Joe and Buffalo Bill.
Using Burt’s first line, we can say intelligence is a factor in how much of yourself you maintain. But intelligence alone isn’t enough, because Randy didn’t have control like Ink did. Another factor is how much of a leader or a “follower” you are (wink wink). I think this plays into the clouding of the eyes. Every Infected we’ve seen without cloudy eyes is some kind of leader, Ink leading mass hordes, “Coal” leading the Scorpions, Buffalo Bill holding alpha status, and Joe leading the… other Scorpions. (I see what you did there, Kc) Now, whether or not the green eyes is a coincidence between all the leaders or green eyes form in Infected leaders, or green eyes has a relation to leadership, I’m not sure, but I do think how much of a leader you are also goes into play as to how much of yourself you retain.
Finally, using Kelly’s quote, how much of a monster you are. This is the third and most important component and it hasn’t been explored much, but I think there is something about how Infected turn that protects them from retaining their future self, should they hate what they’ve become. Basically, if someone who hated Infected turned, they would have the least control, because otherwise they would try and take themselves down. It’s like how humans have self-preservation, Infected also have a more complex self-preservation instinct.
The higher each of these components are, the more of yourself there is after you’re turned. Ink was a rare and lucky combo of all three, and so when he turned, he remained himself. Randy was high in intelligence but wasn’t a monster or a leader, so he had cloudy eyes and only had a small part of himself left inside. Datu was similar because he wasn’t a leader either and his eyes went cloudy, but he had a comparable intelligence. He also mentioned seeing from the backseat of his mind, as in being without control because he wasn’t a monster either.
Joe wasn’t a monster, but he was a leader. He most likely had a good intelligence because he was able to trap the kids in Scout’s Honor and predict their movements (if I listened to that right). So he didn’t retain his personality, because the “monster” part is what an Infected needs to be like themselves. In simplest terms, if you’re an unintelligent monster who follows rather than leads, you most likely won’t retain very much of yourself, but if you’re an intelligent leader who can’t stand hurting others, you would most likely see the same effect. You need all three to be like Ink.
This means Buffalo Bill was probably also a good person before death, as he shows leadership instincts and intelligence, but isn’t coherent like Ink.
Finally, there are two other parts of how the Infected work that are separate but I’d like to still mention them. One is physical characteristics, and the other is your deepest drive. I believe both of these are “amplified” once you turn. For physical characteristics, I think the changes an Infected goes under that makes them tougher, also makes them better in whatever they’re good at (an athletic person would become a runner, which could explain why jumpers were so rare because most people aren’t extremely good at jumping versus running. Also, the Infected are better on ground and chasing and so probably are strengthened in that field more).
The deepest drive thing comes from some of the conclusions made from Scout’s Honor and Descendants, with Fredo and the wedding couple and more. I think that whatever your deepest motivator or drive when you turn becomes your main drive as an Infected. I imagine the more you retain from life and the more control you have, the less of this exists, but it still does exist in everyone depending on how motivated of people they were. Many people who turned probably had no drive (like, living life day to day, with no goal), and that could explain why so many Infected are mindless.
I’d love to hear some thoughts on this and see if anyone agrees or disagrees. There’s a few leaps but I’ve tried to keep it as close to the story as I can.

Let's explain the situation from the beginning. We are a group of 6 friends and little by little our friendship has deteriorated.
When we were 17 we always met up to get drunk and smoke. But years have passed and I'm turning 21. And I'm getting tired of this environment.
I think the turning point was when I bought my car on my own (when I was just 19 years old), I was working for months and once I bought it it was wonderful, everyone was super excited until the problems started to occur. Many responsibilities fell on me, organizing plans, taking home, always doing the shopping.
I mainly had a problem with a friend, let's call him House. House was always my closest friend and I knew him from school, in high school we hung out occasionally but when we created the group we became even closer.
We met every day and it was very cool, but I already realized that he sometimes had anger problems (once he broke the neighbor's air conditioning because they stood him up) as well as a childish attitude of always being right.
A few days before I quit a job that was exploitative and I was having a hard time, I promised House that I would pick him up and take him to a nightclub (after work) that is 4 km from his house (5 km from mine). . But I quit so I was happy to be able to drink and have a good time, until he reminded me of the "promise". By that time he had already resigned 1 week ago and we already bought the tickets 2 weeks ago. He didn't say anything to me until we were at the party and he made a passive-aggressive comment at me. I feel bad and I manipulate the rest so that they say that I had to keep my promise... Well, it's not that big of a deal but it was a wake-up call for me.
I had some friction with him, such as him falsely accusing me that he was stealing gas money from him after a trip for wanting to "overcharge him", something totally false. Or one time he got drunk and was on the beach on my birthday yelling at me and another friend to give him the bottle we were all drinking, we refused because he was 3 steps away and if he had wanted to be with us he could, Then he became aggressive and confronted me a few centimeters away, I pushed him and threatened to hit me. Afterwards we "reconciled" but I already mistrusted in a certain way because of what he had shown me.
His parents divorce, he starts drinking every day, he is dissatisfied with the studies he chose himself, no one forced him and he chose a higher degree with no way out because he was funny in front of others. He hasn't gotten his driver's license, he's not progressing in life, and so the months go by.
In my town there is a party and it is like the party that the entire region comes, including people, we are talking about tens of thousands of young people partying, well House meets us but informs us that first he should have a few beers with his friends, proceed not to be separated from them all day. The worst thing was that every time we told him to do something he followed them from one place to another like a dog, until I understood what was happening, he was with them all the time because they were taking cocaine. That disgusted me a lot since he knows that I don't like that and that if he had stayed with those friends of his I wouldn't have cared, but he had stayed with us.
A week later he organized a plan, as I always do, to go have a barbecue in the mountains, a beautiful place where House tells me that he has no money, I invite him to eat with another friend. When we arrive I see that we have forgotten the meat, so I have to call my aunt who lives 20 minutes away to go get it. I did the shopping alone, in the end I went down alone with my aunt, I bought them beer since House and another stayed upstairs drinking. When I arrive they criticize the meat I bought, I forgot to buy bread, and they criticize the coals I bought since they were very "small", in the end we cooked everything even on meat.
After 2 weeks I plan to go fishing, and that's when House openly tells me that the barbecue was "fucking shit", which seemed like very strong words to me. Mainly when they come from a person who has never driven to take me (he doesn't have a license...), I don't buy the meat, I don't cook and worse still he didn't even thank me for having invited him to eat, he has pay from his parents, they are officials. My parents are immigrants and I have earned my money by working. After that he reproaches me saying that since I am studying and he is "working", he is practicing sports. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FULL TIME!! Which is my obligation since I am freer than him, he doesn't know that lately I have been studying 9 hours a day, super stressed and bad. After that discussion, I didn't speak to him the entire trip back.
I sent him a WhatsApp explaining that I would not take any more trips with him until his attitude changed. Now my friends are telling me to forgive him since we have a trip for the summer.
I don't want to see him, it's as if he had clicked on me * and no matter how much forgiveness he asks me and they tell me that "it was just a few words", it doesn't seem that way to me.
What do you think is pride or should I forgive him for the good of the group?

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (28M) met 17 months ago on a dating app. At the time we were both in different countries and had set our location to a place we were both planning to visit. He asked me on a date for new years eve and even bought an event ticket for that night when we were both supposed to be there . Unfortunately a few days before my flight I got sick and never got to visit that country or see him there. I was expecting us to stop talking and I was talking/dating afew other people since I thought him and I would never meet in real life but to my surprise we started talking every single day and he was the sweetest guy I had ever met . We got to know each other pretty good to the point that he kept asking me to move to his country. After around 4 months of talking online he told me he’s getting a ticket and coming to see me for a week . And that’s when we had our first phone call , over that phone call he said he needs to tell me something because it might be a red flag for me and he just wants to be honest about it , he said he has dated a stripper before me (around 2 years before me) but they were never official and it was something casual just because he was lonely and she was pushy. To be honest I didn’t like hearing that but I was still okay with it. Fast forward to our first week together, we went on date every single day , we went to really nice restaurants and bars and he was putting in so much effort into our dates, we eventually spent the weekend together and that’s when he gave me a gift along with a letter telling me how much he loves me and then we were intimate for the first time and spent the entire weekend in his hotel room .
He went back to his country for work and came back to see me after 5 weeks and we had another amazing week together and that’s when I told him that I love him too so we got alot closer and talked about our past, about how he used to be a party boy and into drugs but he’s changed now and people we have dated and exes , and in a funny conversation the topic of body count came up and I told him mine is 3 and he said he has been with 6 people in total which was shockingly good in my opinion. He also told me that the last time he slept with someone was a year before me because he’s not into one night stands or casual sex because he is emotional and can’t just have that with anyone and that was very respectable and admirable in my opinion and made me fall in love even more . I was honest with and told him the last time I had slept with someone was a month or two into us talking but there was no emotion connection with that person, he was upset but he said he understood that we weren’t that serious back then .
He came back for the 3rd time after 2 weeks and that’s when we got an Airbnb and spent the whole week together cooking and talking like a married couple in love , on the same week we ran into a girl in our airbnb building and she was so happy to see my bf , she jumped to hug him and gave him a kiss on the cheek but my bf seemed kinda uncomfortable. After the interaction I was curious to know how does he know someone in my country so I asked him who she was and he said she is his high school classmate that lives in the same city as him now and she just got married so it must be a coincidence that she’s visiting too.
He was back to see me for another week after 2 weeks and at that point we both knew we are offical and that neither of us has even talked to anyone else for the past 4-5 months but we still didn’t put a label on it because I was so afraid of doing long distance and the fact that I was going to move to a country even further away from him in a month. On that week we went and got an STD test together and I even got an IUD so we don’t have to worry about using protection anymore. He knew that I had this unreasonable fear of contracting HIV and this was him being supportive and calming my nerves.
Afew weeks later I moved to a different country around 17000 miles away and when I was looking for a place there we decided to lease an apartment together and furnish our home together because he was planning on moving there to live with me . He came to visit me for a month and we had more amazing days together and became officially girlfriend and boyfriend .he was the sweetest most loving and understanding guy ever.
We did 3 month of long distance and I missed him so bad that I decided to leave everything behind and sell my stuff to go travel with him for 3 months and also go and visit his family and his hometown , it was hard but we made it work and we were both on cloud 9 for the first 2 weeks together. And after meeting his family things were even more serious , they all loved me and keep asking him when he’s going to propose and end the long distance and I even got invited to his brother’s wedding.
One night my trust issues got the best of me and decided to check his phone ( I know it’s bad) I didn’t see anything too bad as his chats were mostly deleted but I came across a chat with that high-school classmate I mentioned earlier and I found out that they had been on a few dates and that he had sent her the same sweet questions as he sent to me word for word. I also saw that they spent the night together and he had a hickey on his neck from her . I also saw that before meeting me he was sliding into girls dms calling them hot and being sexual and I was sooo shocked just because the image he showed me of himself was so so different. I gave him a chance to come clean in the morning but he kept on lying to my face till I showed him the chats , even then he denied ever sleeping with her . I was so hurt that so early in our relationship he could lie to my face for no reason .
I was upset so I left our villa to stay at a hotel, he kept texting and calling and begging me to give him another chance and go to dinner with him and I did, he was so apologetic he was so upset and he kept saying all he wants is to go back and never lie to me so I asked him to come clean about anything else he has lied about . I went over everything with him and asked if they were lies too? he said no . I decided to stay and give us another chance .
Just 3 days after that night I asked him if I can delete his exes number that is a stripper off his phone in front of him he said yes and when I went to delete it I saw their messages , it wasn’t from 2 years before me ! The last message was 15 days before meeting me and turns out she was actually his friend’s girlfriend and they were secretly seeing each other… I was so heartbroken I couldn’t believe he is a person like that and that he has lied to my face again! He used to always say he hates cheater and that he has been cheated on before so he would never do anything like that but in the chats they were making fun of that girl’s bf which was his friend.
He started apologising again and told me there is more, there is someone else he has slept with shortly before me and that whole not sleeping with anyone for a year and no one nights stands was lie to make me fall in love with him . I forgave him again and decided to help him not feel ashamed about his past .
4 days later I asked him to send me our STD test results from months ago to me again because I lost it and my doctor wanted see it he started looking at his emails and said he can’t find it so I offered to help him look and I found it in his trash folder, but again I wanted to give him a chance so I asked if he has deleted it? He said no ! Turns out he was tested positive for a very minor and not dangerous STD and because he felt ashamed he edited the results when he sent it to months earlier. And deleted it afew days prior. His excuse was that I’m very anxious and fearful about STDs so he didn’t want to worry me because the doctor said it doesn’t need a treatment , And again I was convinced .
A few weeks passed and we were arguing a-lot because of trust issues but we were trying to get help and work on the relationship, he even confessed that there were more small lies he has told me , like saying some of the girls he was following were his friends or friends of friends when in fact they were girls he had met on tinder before meeting me . I struggled to understand why he would lie to me about stuff like this when I had never showed to be a jealous or not understanding GF .
A few weeks later we were doing better and travelling different countries together and I thought we’re done with lies so one night I was overthinking and asked him about a blocked number I saw on his phone that first time I looked through it , I asked who’s number that was because It had the country code of the country I lived in when we first started dating. He reassured me that it’s probably a scam number and that I was overthinking but I wasn’t convinced so I put it into google and it brought up so many escort websites from that country. For a whole week I begged and cried for him to tell me the truth to tell me I’m not crazy and what I’m seeing is right but he denied it every time for a whole week and even cried because I couldn’t believe him till one morning when I promised him I won’t leave if he just tells me , he confessed that on that first week after or first or second date when he went back to his hotel room he looked at escort sites and texted them but kept swearing that he never saw one and to him it just like watching porn . Once again I was in disbelief because he used to always say people that pay for sex are evil and are using girls that might have been trafficked for sex , I was also heartbroken and disgusted that he could do that in my city , somewhere that was my home and he was supposed to be there just for me and the fact that I’d have been on the same bed we had sex for the first time and the same room he told me he loved me in only 2 days later …
He blamed it all on porn and his porn addiction, I was shocked because I never had a problem with him watching porn I had even asked him if he wants to watch it together but he always seemed not that interested. He said that he has had trust issues and the reason why he went on an escort site in the first place was to make sure I wasn’t one … Honestly I didn’t know what to do with that informations ! How could he even possibly think that but it doesn’t bother me what bothers me is thinking that he got on 5 hour flight and took me on all those nice dates thinking I might be an escort?? And when he realised I wasn’t he looked for a real one ? Like he was disappointed that I wasn’t an escort? After 5-6 months of talking to me all day and night . I couldn’t not understand and will never understand .
Because of my promise I stayed and went to therapy ever since then he keeps saying I know all of his dark side and secrets and there is nothing else he would lie to me about. He’s been super apologetic and putting up with my anxiety and hearing out my hurt and looking for ways to fix our relationship and trust.
Our trip ended and we are doing long distance again and I told him I won’t be like before because it takes time to rebuild trust he understood and said it’s fair for me to look for things or have doubts . The other night i was looking at his email to make sure there are no more escort or things like that and I saw an email from a almost a year before me , it was from a flowegift shop that he has bought me flowers from which was very meaningful to me .
I saw that he had sent the same flower to that stripper girl that he claimed he was never in a relationship with only difference is hers was way more expensive and it had a note saying she is his world and there was another flower order worth 500$ sent to the same girl and the note was he is sorry for not keeping his promises and that he is in love with her more than he could have ever imagined.word for word of how he has apologised to me.
He has been telling me for over a year now that he never told that girl he loved her without me ever asking him . So I asked him if he has ever bought her flowers? But I also sent him a text saying he doesn’t owe me anything from his past and he shouldn’t worry about hurting my feelings and just tell me truth because I love him . He said no . Afew hours later he said he remembered that it was one time and it was from the same shop but what he got me was better and once again without me even asking he said no but I never loved her and never told her I lover her . I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if there is a chance he doesn’t remember ? Maybe because it was over text ? He said no there is no way he wouldn’t remember saying something like that .
I sent him the email and all he had to say was that he wasn’t lying he just didn’t remember… And he kept saying but that’s all , I never got her anything else (like that’s the point) but I also saw another email in his trash folder and it was another gift order to the same girl and he deleted that email the same day so there is no way he wouldn’t remember those gifts …
I’m so done and over the lies but I’m starting to blame myself for asking things for caring about the past , my mind keep telling me at least he didn’t cheat on you . But then I remember he lied to me about things I never even asked for cared about. I remember that he might have been interested in me because he thought I might be an escort not because of who I am .
He has been the kindest and nicest person to me and has done everything to make sure I’m okay during our relationship . Am I doing something wrong? What to do ? I’m so confused

Many thanks to u/LieutenantRayne for helping my learn about the DLC through their guides.
What you'll get from this guide: Great economy, great living standards, victory in Verdosam, a new alliance with Derdia and Morella, a new wife (the inferior romance choice but alas), a new heir, reunification of the peninsula without war (no torturing Axel, sad!), the grace of god and ultimate political power.
Achievements you'll get: Prologue, chapter stuff, Great Unification, Intermekopum alliance, Wruceh's Second Coming, True Master of Crisis (unsure about that one), Glovurius axa Rizia axa Pales, The Prince, Fall from GRACE, Domineering, Mine All Mine, Ready To Love Again, Case Closed, My Rule Continues, Game Of Spoons or Two Birds for Beatrice, So It Is and Make Yourself Great Again.
Notes: Be polite even to your enemies and say Halaita alot.
PROLOGUE - Visit family in Zille, close friebds with Pabel, university (+1B), crackdown on traitors (+1A), rebuild (+1B), truly love your wife, family got in the way of work, vacation with wife and daughter, solace in faith, meet duke and agree with him, lie to dad, don't tell anything to your father, gold and tax focus (+2B and +1B per turn). Absolutism, Diversify (+1B), Third Way and no military spending (+1B).
TURN 1: A(8/+3) B(11/+6) E(3/+1).
Decrees=> Sovereign Transition and Clemency (-1A), Raise base income tax (-2A, +1B per turn), Geological Survey (-2A, -2B), Zpana Dam (-2A, -5B, 4T to complete, +3E per turn on completion) and Expand Esqiris Gas Field (-1A, -3B, 3T to complete, +2E per turn on completion).
Events=> No speech at coronation, allow vina in the council, small parade at Port Drazon, host concert (-1B), no sanctuaries restoration :( and football auto-skips due to lack of budget.
TURN 2: A(3/+3) B(7/+7) E(4/+1).
Decrees=> Housing for the poor (-1A, -1B) and Build Qalus Gold Mine (-1A ,-3B).
Events=> Oil dries up, trade talks with Sordland (invite Elena): Accept alcohol deal "is there a way to rephrase this?" accept resort deal "less gaudy", investigate dad's death thanks to Pabel (leave him out of the suspects), donate to Arufelde (-1B, makes dealing with Morella easier), build statues of all the family (-1B, +1A), in the hunt go with Hugo but tell him Vina and Rico are cousins after that go back with your daughter, ignore commie propaganda (we need to get in Hegel's good side) and be polite with Smolak regime.
TURN 3: A(5/+3) B(8/+7) E(4/+0).
Decrees=> Monqiz Port and Naval Expansion (-1A, -3B, 2T to complete, -1E per turn on completion) and Sallabes Consumer Park (-2A, -2B, 2T to complete, -1E per turn on completion).
Events=> Fund Golden Guard and focus on Su Omina (-3B), denounce Su Omina, accept Rumburg MAXIMUM energy deal (-3E, +2B and -2E per turn), deny police transfer to idiot Rico, tell manus to fuck off and don't let him dance with Vina, allow safe passage for Goldoncondists, rizz Lucita up (grab ger hand, don't le go etc) and refuse deal with Rusty but have lunch with him.
TURN 4: A(6/+4) B(9/+9) E(0/+0).
Decrees=> Build Tank Factory (-3A, -4B/ ONLY AFTER WINE TRADE SOARS!!!)
Events=> Disperse protests by force (+1A), Pales Stuff: Say u wanna talk to Axel and DON'T initiate blockade - Say to him to keep the field in exchange for something, "don't let hostility colour the negotiations", "predecessors were out of line", "caught between superpowers", "how big of a parachute?" - Pay what he asks and tell him about your daughter (-5B, -3B per turn and +3E per turn later), send 500 equipment abd 50 support vehicles to Verdosam, tell Alvarez to fuck off - at the AN meeting: don't interrupt Smolak, applaud him politely, don't applaud Lespia, don't confront Hegel, Speech: "Honor to adress assembly", focus on unity, Smolak is being understandable and you'll count with his transparency, "Morella looking is east is understandable", offer help to Morella, say a compromise with religious travellers is possible, "regarding Pales", "golden age" and "end cycle of violence" - attend H.o.D and give rights to all workers (-2B, -1B per turn, industrial power weakened), NO Wehlen cooperation (We won't get Smolak in the alliance but he's an asshole anyways), wine trade soars (+2B) - Wine Event Speech: "fruits of our lands", "yes, even Sords", "doubts about stability", "with your help", "proud son of Valenqiris", "richly rewarded", "rise a glass to a reunited Rizia" and "you're here to drink wine" - Invite Lucita to open the bottle, rizz her up, say good night to staff, play drinking game (No Pablo), get something to wrong to gwt drunk, say you're lonely. If things goes right Lucita will knock on your door and have sex with you,. Sordland Investment auto-skips (no money).
TURN 5: A(8/+4) B(5/+5) E(0/+1)
Decrees=> Build Military Eq. Factory (-1A, -2B), Build Support Vehicles Factory (-2A, -3B), Sell 1st Batch of Military Eq. (+2B/ immediatly AFTER football auto-skips AKA after Hegel's Call) and enforce Wruceh education (-3A).
Events=> Agreement with Wehlen: *Import Oil and Medicine, *Export Wine and Small Arms, *Aid against BFF, *Ban Bluds and *Grant Wehzeks equal rights to work. Fund no organization in Zille, continue investigating Du Omina (-1A) and ask about Iza and give control to Lucita, tell Titus to look into Hugo, Football auto-skips :), complain to Hegel about the late hour so you can cut Lespia out for ships, be polite to Alma and DON'T eat the cookies (they're horrible), tell her about spliting Lespia's shares 50-50 between you and Morella, at plane - Speak with Derdia, Energy Agreement and Pollution reparations (-1B/ Make sure to do this in the plane to get the toy bird), Vina diplomatic envoy, send sordish tourists back home, Gas Field meeting - Tell Vina to be diplomatic envoy, "Absolutely not!", "single", "handsome" - Scrap Boat (-1A).
TURN 6: A(4/+3) B(8/+7) E(4/+4).
Decrees=> Enact investment in Public Transport (-2A, -3B, 1E/ FIRST THING TO DO AT THE START OF THE TURN! If u don't u get transport crisis), Excavation of Topes (-2A, -2B, 2T to complete) and Medium Energy Sale (-3E, +2B/ AFTER council meeting to avoid energy crisis - always one step ahead of Torpor).
Events=> Massive Global Media Campaign (-3B/ SUPER IMPORTANT!), send 1 infantry div. to confederacy, DON'T start war, Axel talk - Shake hand, don't interrupt, "peace", "peaceful resolution", let soldiers leave immediatly, "i do not underestimate the gravity", "what would we gain?", "I'm starting to suspect that", "someone else", "Lespia", "this is precisely the point", "why wouldn't he?" and "anything for peace"(-1B), sign paper and talk about cooperation and friendship (+6E, +6E per turn).
TURN 7: A(3/+3) B(8/+8) E(13/+7)
Decrees=> Abolish Blasphemy Law(-3A/ SUPER IMPORTANT).
Events=> Invite Sal to H.o.D, don't fund Zille, Grand Wiseman Talks - Let Titus fight don't talk to him or interrupt him, Trade deal (-2E, +2E per turn) and mediation with Morella - Send 1 ship and 1 sub to confederacy, Hugo will tell Toras are happy, order Manus arrest, rid Rico of his title put Iza under your control, tell Hugo you're but that's it, improve enviroment (-3B), Azaros and Lucita will be happy, go to private lounge with her.
TURN 8: A(6/+7) B(16/+9) E(13/0).
Decrees=> Increase Health and Education Funds (-2A, -3B), Tenant Protection Laws (-2A, -1B), Remove Provincial Police and Levy Obligation (-8A, -2B/ SUPER IMPORTANT/ Do it AFTER meditation investment/ U get enough authority for it through the dissolution of the H.o.D) and Small Energy Sale (-1E, +1B/ Necessary to remove Provincial Levy Obligation).
Events=> Host banquets to celebrate victory (+2A,-2B,+2B per turn), don't reveal Lespia evil doings to the world, be polite to drunk Alvarez and reveal the your findings at the end of the conversation so he can offer a deal to arrest Rusty - take it, arrest Rusty, nationalize his assets by buying shares (-2B), invest in renewable energy (-3B), welcome brave sailors back home, invest 1A in Derdia-Morella talks (SUPER IMPORTANT), close H.o.D (+A), -3B for Intermekopum, (SUPER IMPORTANT) , Smolak will ask the AN for a referendum, AN Stuff - Vote Nay to island claim, interrupt smolak bullshit speech, in your own speech talk about the importance of treaties, how bad people are treated by Wehlen, how Wehlen doesn't respect democracy and that Weheln wants to stela land, if done correctly AN will vote against referendum and you'll get Zille back (hooray!) - Talk to Vina about marriage with Axel respect her but tell this is the best for Rizia - she'll say yes :) - don't give ring her so u can give to Lucita, marry Lucita through Sal, be polite at the weeding and reveal your own with Lucita (Taddeus Azaro will have an orgasm).
TURN 9: A(9/+9) B(11/+10) E(12/-1)
Decrees=> lower conscription to 18 (-2A, -2B, +1000 men) and Launch Anti-Narcotis Campaign (-1A, -1B/ reduces tourism and doesn't last. Now is the best time).
Events=> Derdia-Morella Talks: offer -250 men, vote yes to new MITZ, offer -5E for Intermekopum (alliance formed +10A), Accept aid from Valgsland (+2B), leave Grace (middle finger if Sordland Save or correct spoon shit), Zille is returned! Give it to yourself (Great Living Standards + Cucked Sazons = No unrest), Wruceh Guardians (-1B) and Pales Unification Plans (-2B).
TURN 10: A(15/+19) B(17/+9) E(8/+1).
Decrees=> Expanded Border Guards (-2A, -1B/ Now because it reduces tourism and it's one less red modifier).
Events=> In the meeting with Titus say Luciat is innocent, declare that Hugo is guilty but just keep an eye on him (he's loyal and much better than his smooth-brained son), execute Manus and Rusty for all to see, drink with Axel and reassure that palensians will be respected, declare Theocracy, make your son the heir to get achievement and Azaros on thw jubilee, finally, enjoy becoming Rizia's Lisan Al Gaib and lead your people to paradise.
Hope you enjoyed the guide! I might make one for a reformist + Pabel romance run. No promises though.

I know this is unnecessarily long, so if you are not in the mood for reading, I understand. But I would greatly appreciate anyone who would take the time to read my story that is probably TMI and badly in need of some editing. I just really need some advice from people whose heads are less cloudy than mine.
My fiancé M/42 and I F41 have been together for about 4 years and have known each other since high school. I knew he was a recovering addict when I got together with him but I fell head over heels in love and didn’t see the relapse on the horizon that would occur shortly after the honeymoon phase and would eventually almost kill me - I took a swipe of some mystery powder and touched it to my tongue (fentanyl) thinking it would help me get through the most stressful day of my life as i was ceaning out his place while I was packing him up for detox. It was a total freak accident, I’m not an addict, never done anything like that in my life, I’m a single mom and a kindergarten teacher, but I loved him so much I just followed him down the rabbit hole and honestly just became so disoriented in this world I (naively) didn’t understand or even realize I had signed up for.
Anyway, He literally saved my life, and said I also saved his, because that day is what motivated him to get and stay clean for good despite being an active heroin addict for the majority of his life.
He worked an incredibly thorough program, and he gained more friends, money, and more overall success in 2 years than I’ve been able to scrounge up in an entire lifetime. And it’s no surprise honestly. He’s a special person. Absolutely brilliant, charismatic, driven, and has a heart of gold.
Within a year of getting sober, he moved me and my daughters into a gorgeous home adjacent to a golf course, bought luxury vehicles for both me and him, convinced me to quit my teaching job which was making me miserable, so I could finally be fully present for my girls, and then put a giant diamond ring on my left hand. He completely spoils us. We went from having nothing to having every tangible thing, we could possibly need.
The stability that he provided for us meant the world to a single mom who was barely making ends meet, but it was always just the icing on the cake for me. He’s my best friend in the world, he makes me laugh so hard my mouth hurts from smiling, he show me that he loves even the parts of myself that I don’t find lovable. I found my soulmate.
His program started slipping after 2 1/2 years (last November). He was already struggling in his role of being a stepfather, and we were fighting a lot about parenting stuff. He has a lot to learn, has little patience, and seems to have very unrealistic expectations of my kids. He wanted Parenting to be this effortless thing, and he just doesn’t get that it’s not. And that kids are not always going to behave themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. so we were fighting a lot.
In December, he started complaining about his chronic back pain again (a real issue for him as he’s had five back surgeries due to a snowboarding accident in his early 20s-this was during that height of Purdue Pharma and what got him hooked on pain meds)
While I know he was legitimately in pain, it was also a red flag because pain was the culprit for his last relapse. He decided to go in for a sixth surgery and was told he would have to wait three months. He found a surgeon who has made a lot of profit off of him over the years (as he’s a PI attorney) and was willing to prescribe him generous amounts of pain pills to get him through the three months of increasing pain that he was experiencing. He spent the next three months in bed, depressed, checking out, taking pills depressed, checking out- as I became increasingly suspicious that his behavior was much too loopy for the amount of medication he was being prescribed. I fell into the role of his nurse, and his babysitter. Making sure he didn’t text to nonsense to clients, making sure he didn’t fall and make his back worse, making sure he wasn’t interacting with the kids, etc
I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, but he just kept gaslighting me. It honestly felt like he was psychologically tormenting me, treating me as though I was totally paranoid, heartless and out of line. I thought after the surgery, it would finally get better. I made a promise that I would be there for him because he had never had anyone there for him for the previous surgeries and it had been a really traumatic experience for him in the past. I really stepped up and tried so hard to his rock. The hospital experience was horrific, mainly because no amount of diloted was relieving him of the pain. None of the nurses understood why he needed so much more than everyone else, but I think his tolerance had just become so high.
After that nightmare was finally over I was really counting on things getting better, as the plan was for him to taper off the meds, live pain-free, and get back to normal. It didn’t go that way. It just kept getting worse and no matter how many times I told him that I didn’t trust him he just had an excuse for an explanation for everything. He is a master manipulator and I listened to him do it to everyone, doctors, the pharmacist he formed a “friendship” with, literally everyone.
On Mother’s Day, it got to a point where he couldn’t hide it anymore. He disappeared for the day, Ended up, passing out at a gas station and was unreachable for hours, when he finally came home, the car was all fucked up and he claims it was someone else’s fault. He went straight to his home office and I didn’t see the rest of the night until I walked in on him smoking crushed up pills. After that, he confessed everything to me, including the time that he told me not to check the mail because he had a special surprise for me to thank me for all the love and support I gave him To help him through his surgery. it turned out he had drug dealers sending him drugs in the mail. Needless to say there was no surprise for me me. Just heartbreak and betrayal. I felt like a fool.
I was still processing this the next day when , after insisting on taking a photo of me in these designer sunglasses he purchased for me out of guilt. I asked him not to take my photo, because I had tears in my eyes, but he insisted. He was napping next to me and I opened his phone to erase the photo. we’ve always had each other’s passwords, and have looked through each others photos before for various reasons, sharing photos, etc. I cannot emphasize enough how much I trust his loyalty to me when it comes to anything other than drugs.
But for some reason, all of my photos, the ones I was taking on my phone were showing up in his feed. I was so confused, so I started scrolling through deleting unflattering double chin pictures of myself when I came across that menu photos organized based on face recognition. One of them was his ex. I remember him telling me he deleted all of his photos of her the first time he told me he loved me.
I opened it and scrolled through hundreds of pictures of their happy life together. The pictures got more and more sexual, one of her with her legs spread, another another of them in the bathtub together, her kissing him while he had his hands around her neck, another screenshot of her naked in the shower with a thumbnail shot of him in the corner obviously jerking off to her on FaceTime. Because I’m a masochist I decided to take it one step further and look in his video folder. I found a There I found a thumbnail shot if a close-up of him penetrating her. I watched it and it just completely crushed whatever was left of me.
I’m normally a really passive person, and I just completely lost my mind. I reacted as though I had caught him cheating on me. I just couldn’t handle the physical evidence of such a close up shot of him being inside another woman. It’s stupid because I know, like me, he has a past. Obviously he’s been with other women. Obviously he’s been attracted to them. But it just scarred my brain, I literally haven’t even been able to eat since because I’ve been so nauseous. I know it’s ridiculous, because this is a reality I was well aware existed, but seeing it with my own eyes… I don’t know what to say. Other than that I need a lobotomy.
He says he erased all of those videos and photos from his phone, and something weird happened where all of his photos from the cloud just re-uploaded when he got a new phone. He’s not a technical person and I actually believe him because, aside from being a complete liar when it comes to drugs, he has always show me the upmost, integrity, love and loyalty. So it’s not that I don’t believe him. I just can’t get that image out of my head.
I can’t tell if this intense emotional reaction I’m having would be the same reaction anyone would have if they saw what I saw, or if I’m combining the feelings of betrayal over the gaslighting and the relapse…, the last four months of feeling completely invisible, hopeless, and like he was choosing drugs over me. My mind is like mush and I seriously can’t differentiate between these two very separate issues. I’m so confused, but that’s what gaslighting does to you. It makes you question your reality.
He said that he’s finally willing to go into detox, so at this point, I have waited this long, it would be silly not to stick around and see if he’s finally going to put an end to this. What’s getting me is that he’s still making excuses, still not seeming very remorseful, and is still so deep in self-pity that he doesn’t seem to have any awareness of how badly I’m hurting because of him. It feels like he just doesn’t care. anyone who’s ever loved an addict knows that feeling well.
I’m in Al-anon, and I’m well aware of all of the things I should be doing, focusing on myself, etc. but I’m just not doing well, and I can’t seem to find my way out of this dark hole. Anyone who has made it this far deserves some sort of a Reddit badge of honor. This was more of an autobiography than a simple question. I just wanna hear some outside input because I don’t trust my own mind right now. I’m willing to take your criticism, just please be kind. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m just hurting so badly. I can’t seem to sort through this. Thank you so much if you took the time to read all of this and still want to respond. You have no idea how much it means to me.

This is more a rant than anything and I desperately need some advice.
I’m 20 years old and I go to uni away from my hometown, ie. a different city so I don’t live with my family. Growing up, my parents had been extremely controlling and overprotective and they still are to this day, even when I live 700+ miles away from them. I often tell myself that they aren’t ill-intended but just exhibit such controlling behaviours that it makes me sick. I’ve been dealing with this pretty much my whole life and I thought moving out of home would improve things but you’d be surprised by the amount of power they have over me despite the geographical distance between us.
One thing, for instance, is that my father wishes to track my phone using the find my phone app incase any emergencies happen. He openly admits that he checks my location multiple times a day and on certain occasions when I had been out somewhere without informing them, he’d call me immediately to ask. I have always been extremely triggered by this because first of all, as someone who suffers from anxiety, I feel like this is impinging on my privacy and I don’t like being controlled this way. I understand his concern because I’m living in a city with street crime and let’s say my phone could get stolen or something. But I do not like this at all, I’m a legal adult and should be allowed to do whatever I want. I know I’m not doing anything wrong or harmful, and hypothetically speaking, even if I am, it’s my decision, not theirs. I’m tired of his helicopter parenting. There’s no use talking to my mom either because she’s on the same side as him.
I have always had very strict rules I needed to adhere to, when I lived at home, due to which I had no social life or barely any friends. I would just stop going out because of the fear and annoyance or having to answer my parents on everything. It also led me to completely shun myself, and never tell them anything about me, eg. who I’m friends with, my interests, because I feared disapproval and criticism in every step of the way. Even nowadays, while being in a different city, they call me regularly to know what i'm doing during different times of the day, and I also feel like I’m being judged by everything I do. A tiny irrelevant detail but I was also gaslighted into not picking the major of my choice which is why I’m not doing great in my degree either, and now they love to think that picking this major was my own choice, not theirs. But that’s a whole other story.
I desperately want to set some my boundaries with my parents, but I can never seem to. Every time I’ve tried bringing this up to them, eg. the phone tracking thing, or pointed out any of their other controlling behavioural patterns, they find a reason to see it as an attack and how i'm a trying to rebel against them or hiding something suspicious that I’m doing. I don’t think they trust me at all. I’m gonna turn 21 soon and I find it absurd how so many of my life decisions are still in their hands. I suffer from so much anxiety and panic because of them, I literally have to rethink every step I take in my daily life just to wonder what their reaction would be.
I discussed these issues with someone recently and they were appalled to hear all of it, probably because their parents aren’t controlling or manipulative at all. I was told to straight up confront them and set my boundaries but I feel like that only makes matters worse. Every time, I’ve tried, they just turn it into an argument and become even more suspicious of me. I’m also extremely terrified of conflict as a person and tend to avoid it as much as I can because it makes me unwell.I need tips or any kind of suggestions about what I can do. Or if you've been in a similar situation growing up, I'd like to know how you dealt with it. Keeping in mind, I’m financially dependent on them so I’m always afraid they’re gonna pull back or something. After all, they have done a lot for me and still are, but at what cost?
Thank you for reading.

Hello all, just looking for some encouragement. I am currently 26F/125lbs currently on my 32nd day of my 3rd course of accutane for mild-moderate hormonal cystic acne. My first and second courses were for severe hormonal cystic acne but with accutane and birth control, I was able to gain remission and crystal clear skin for almost 5 years. In 2023 I moved several times and broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years. I started having moderate breakouts from what I believe was stress. From there I tried to get off birth control…big mistake. I started having horrible cystic breakouts. I started 100 mg of spirnolactone and got back on birth control. This definitely helped but I wasn’t totally clear like I previously was even after 6 months. So i decided to go another round of accutane. My first month was 40mg and I am now taking 60mg. My purge has given me horrible cystic breakouts on my cheeks and chin. I got 6 steroid shots by my derm today and skipped work because of how badly my mental health is being affected. My skin (like so many of us) is much much worse than when I started. I’m obsessed with figuring out when my purge will end. It started 2.5 weeks in. To make matters worse I have a friend visiting this weekend and I have to be in public. I also am seeing a new boy that I really like and there’s no way I’m letting him see me like this but I also don’t want him to think I’m avoiding him. Anyone have any feedback about purges for cystic acne and when they will end?

I thought about investing my time into emulating games on a Steamdeck as I have absolutely nothing to do with myself in a small rural town with little to no internet. All there is to do around is shop at DG/Walmart and eat out at fast food joints. At least with the Steamdeck, I could run a bunch of old ROMs that don't require internet.
I've gotten bored with my 2022 Samsung tablet as all the apps tend to be non-functional due to ads and subscription paywall unless I dig my way through bootleg sites to download a specific APK. Half my favorite games are incompatible with newer technology. I deliberately asked for an older model from 2019 since they're better made, but my parents said no.
I've tried to run a PC emulator on my tablet, but just about everything on the app store is complete garbage these days. The Switch library mostly consists of overpriced garbage and my console dies within 45 minutes to an hour on full charge even if I manually shut it down every time.
I understand the need for being grateful, but all these consoles/tablets/etc. add up and everyone else being hoarders is just too much for me. I get that the Steamdeck is not a fix-all, but it would keep down the overall clutter for the most part and emulating old ROMs would finally give my brain something to look forward to.
I've tried explaining to my family what the Steamdeck was and how I was gonna use it, and their response is that I can't just expect handouts all the time and I need to get out there and work. I have no issue applying for Walmart to pay for it at all if it weren't for my ongoing health issues.
I cannot apply for a position at any workplace because of my health concerns that involves the consistent dropping of items or bumping into and knocking over objects. I've also been experiencing things like undiagnosed heart/vascular that would make it difficult to work a part time job without falling and getting hurt. My guardians don't want me going to the doctor and there's nothing I can do about it.
As for the Steamdeck, I was mostly gonna leave it docked to the TV or prop it up against the table with a stand and use a Bluetooth controller with it while at group therapy. I'm mostly into getting one so I can emulate older games with updates for newer software as well as access to the regular Steam library.
I've tried setting boundaries during Christmas/birthdays nearly a dozen times over and absolutely nobody is willing to work with me at all. The only way I can buy anything for myself (regardless of what it is) would be to sell my own artwork online.
I was gonna close down the shop immediately after paying for the Steamdeck and open it back up around Christmas/birthdays so I can buy myself the stuff I've already had in mind for ages since everyone thinks it's selfish to ask for cash or gift cards.
I would have to use direct printing services like RedBubble and Society6 because conditions at the facility are less than ideal and I don't want to get dirt in any of the packages or have someone else steal them. Plus there's no way to ship anything out on my own since they only have a PO box.
People online say that making any kind of side money at ALL is illegal even if I were to do regular commissions or sell pieces at an art gallery, but I can't really tell at this point. I'm just tired of relying on people who hand me all this cheap junk from DG that I don't need and can't get rid of right after I beg and plead for them to stop.
The amount of money that the place I'm staying owes us would be enough to cover a basic one, but they're probably not going to give us our allowance back until I'm long gone. Some residents have already started getting their money and it looks like backpay is practically out of the question.
I'm sad about not being able to get one because I really wanted something to do over the summer since I can't afford to go to leave the building. I guess I could save $60 a month and end up getting one in about a year, but the only issue with that is not knowing if I'm even gonna get my monthly allowance back at all.
There's nothing that really prevents residents from going into each other's rooms and stealing each other's monthly allowance either since it's all in dollar bills, so having it sent directly to a debit card would make it more secure. I can't trust my parents to take all those dollar bills to the bank either because they'll just spend it on themselves.
I've been wanting to move to a safer area for a long time, but I can't live on my own with the way I am and social workers have been trying to put me on a waitlist for a medical waiver that could take up to a decade or more (that's if I even qualify at all).
Any suggestions?

The initial idea for the game was very simple: "Everything is infinite." You capture spawners, and they keep producing units endlessly. You add upgrades (in the form of buildings), and all future units will be stronger - as long as the upgrade building is intact. The gameplay would be the same as all RTS, only very abstract, without resources: Keep the opponent under control while advancing your macro position, until you overwhelm them with superior forces.
To reduce the potential for stalemates, only one tweak was added: Players can permanently sacrifice a whole spawner in exchange for a temporary boost in unit production speed. This would enable "race to the bottom" style gameplay, players are forcing each other to sacrifice more and more, until finally one side has nothing left.
Now when I had all that working for multiplayer and turned to the singleplayer, a new aspect came up. I did specifically not want the solo mode to just be "mp vs. ai" - rather it should be a series of capturing randomly generated fortifications. Taking the fort would mean taking a bunch of spawners, to power a larger assault against the next (larger) fort, and so on. But ramping linearly like this is harsh. One would like to have smaller fortifications on the side, to discover, to destroy for some sort of reward. Less linear gameplay, more choices. Rush it or take it easy.
So I added "Artifacts," a smaller kind of reward. Acts like an upgrade building, only it can be moved around. So you take a small fortification, find an artifact, put it to some of your spawners and get stronger units. Still infinitely.
This fundamentally worked as a solo mode. But players noted that it all felt a bit hollow. Just stomping forward, growing, no real "resources to manage." So I got back, to a yet older idea of mine - which would have been an RTS where each unit was composed of 3-4 parts: Body/Frame, Weapon, Armour, Jewelry. With the equipment pieces being complex like in a proper ARPG, and at the same time: exhaustible. Maybe the PoE devs can make this game one day! I now think it’s way too complicated for too little gain. But I took the one point from it, namely making Artifacts have a limited amount of charges, after which they are used up and disappear. And similar to sacrificing spawners, artifacts can be put into overdrive to grant more power, at the cost of using up charges faster.
So the concept of "Artifact" is turned into "Stockpile of Trinkets" - little magical pieces that we give to our troops to make them stronger, and that get lost on the battlefield with their bearer.
Players still commented that the solo mode felt a bit - aimless. Because there was a lot of space, not filled with all that much going on. This inspired the latest step in evolution. The amount of Trinket Stockpiles to be found on the map has been vastly increased, and not all of them are fully guarded anymore. To properly turn the game into more of a grand old "collect resources" type of journey.
There remain further ideas, of how detailed management and gameplay could be added around the Stockpiles. Maybe new spawns have to first walk there, to pick up their trinket? Having to place the piles for shortest pathing and all, would start to feel like a real economy management game. We will see about that?
In multiplayer, it all remains optional. The mapper can decide if and how many trinket piles to spread on the map, and fix their stats upfront or have them randomised, and have them guarded or free for all to take.

This is the first time I have written some chapters. I'm not a native English speaker but I did my best. If someone can give me some pointers or help I would immensely appreciate it! It's a bit of sci-fi, if you are into it let me know. If not, that's cool too.
Thx in advance!
Chapter 1: The farm
Hagr stood at the edge of the farm, his gaze fixed on the vast expanse of Zandarius stretching out before him. The sky above was a canvas of swirling purples and blues, streaked with the faint glow of distant stars. A cool breeze whispered through the air, carrying with it the enticing scent of Heyla flowers.
With a sigh, Hagr set down his mechanic wheelbarrow, the last of his chores for the day completed. He began to make his way back towards the farm, his footsteps crunching softly against the rocky terrain. As he passed through the pink and green garden, the aroma of his mother's porridge drifted towards him, tempting his hunger.
Despite eating the same meal every day, Hagr's stomach grumbled with anticipation. The suuka porridge was all he needed right now, its warm, comforting embrace promising to chase away the chill of the evening.
Arriving at the farm, Hagr took in the familiar sight of their plascrete igloo. Half of the structure was comprised of little octagon windows, through which the warm glow of a fire emanated from the chimney. It was home, humble yet comforting in its simplicity.
Entering the igloo, Hagr found his mother, Altha, bustling about the kitchen, preparing dinner. "Hagr, dear, could you set the table?" she called out, her voice gentle yet firm. Hagr nodded, a small smile playing at his lips as he arranged the mismatched dishes in their usual places. Each plate was different, yet they always ended up in the same spot, a testament to the routines of their daily life.
Once the table was set, Hagr ignited the moonlamp, casting a soft yellow glow across the igloo walls. Altha emerged from the kitchen, carrying a steaming pot of suuka porridge. "Careful, Hagr," she warned, as she placed the pot on the table. "It's hot." Hagr nodded as he heard this many times before, his mouth watering at the sight and smell of the hearty meal before him. They ate in silence, the only sound the clinking of spoons against bowls as they savored each mouthful.
After a moment, Hagr broke the silence, his voice tinged with curiosity. "Do you ever wonder what's beyond Zandarius, Mumu?" he asked. Altha hesitated, her expression guarded. "I don't know, Hagr," she replied softly. "But we have everything we need right here on the farm." Though disappointed by her response, Hagr nodded in understanding. Perhaps someday they would have the chance to explore together. Altha caught his eye and winked, a small glimmer of hope in her gaze.
As they finished their meal, Hagr and Altha moved to the small kitchen area to wash the dishes. The kitchen was cluttered yet cozy, with shelves overflowing with pots, pans, and utensils. Beyond the kitchen, the interior of the igloo was a snug retreat from the harshness of the outside world. A small cupboard, crafted from Zandarius rare Bennam wood, stood in one corner, its doors closed tight to conceal its overflowing contents. Nearby, a plush couch with pillows offered a comfortable spot to relax after a long day's work. Opposite the couch, a large hammock hung from the ceiling. Above it, a smaller hammock swayed gently in the breeze, providing a cozy nest for Hagr during the night. Every inch of space was utilized to its fullest, creating a sense of warmth and intimacy within the cramped confines of the igloo.
As the hour grew late, Altha reminded Hagr of their upcoming journey to Kihar. With a yawn, Hagr climbed into his hammock, gazing up at the stars through the little octagon windows above. "Goodnight, Hagr," Altha whispered, her voice soft in the quiet of the night. "Goodnight, Mumu," Hagr replied, his eyes closing as sleep overtook him. And with that, he drifted off, thoughts of tomorrow's journey fading into the comforting embrace of dreams.
Chapter 2: The trip
Hagr awoke to the gentle light filtering through the little octagon windows of their igloo. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he glanced around and noticed that his mother's hammock was empty. Mu-mu?" he called out, but there was no response.
Curiosity piqued, Hagr peered outside and spotted his mother tending to the kikkamoos, their pig-like creatures with reptilian legs and Fluffy tails. With a swift motion, he leaped out of bed, his movements practiced from years of experience. After quickly dressing himself, he hurried outside, calling out to his mother. "Altha!" he yelled, using her full name in his urgency. His mother turned towards him with a warm smile. "Haggie!" she called back, using his pet name.
Hagr wasted no time and dashed off to fetch Tsjoopa, their trusty mechanical unicycle cart already loaded with goods for trade. As he returned with the cart, he found his mother waiting back at the farm. "Ready to go, Hagr?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Absolutely!" Hagr exclaimed, brimming with energy. And so, they set off on their journey to Kihar, the nearest town for trading.
The road ahead seemed endless, traversing through vast and barren plains broken only by occasional patches of vegetation. Sparse woods flanked the roadside, offering concealment but little wildlife, a testament to Zandarius' unforgiving environment.
After a few hours of travel, they finally reached a landmark known as the Sharp Knives, a crossroad marked by sharp rocks jutting out of the ground. "We’re here, the Sharp Knives," Altha remarked, her gaze sweeping over the rugged terrain. "We're halfway there, Hagr." Hagr nodded, his eyes scanning the horizon. "Already? Time flies when you're in good company." A mischievous glint sparkled in Altha's eyes as she reached into the cart. "Speaking of good company, I brought something special for our halfway mark." Hagr's interest was piqued. "What is it?" With a dramatic flourish, Altha revealed a small container of sosuuka, a sweeter version of yesterday's porridge. "Sosuuka!" Hagr exclaimed, trying to sound enthusiastic despite his familiarity with the dish. Altha chuckled at his feigned excitement. "I thought it might be a nice treat for our journey." Hagr grinned, playing along. "Absolutely! Thanks, best mumu on Zandarius." Lost in thought, Altha gazed into the distance, her attention drawn to the gathering ominous clouds on the horizon, a harbinger of stormy weather to come. "We might have some rough weather ahead," Altha remarked, her voice tinged with concern. Hagr glanced up at the darkening sky. "Should we stop and wait it out?" Altha shook her head. "We need to keep moving. We can't afford to delay our journey." Guess we'll have to save the view for another time," Hagr sighed, reluctantly agreeing with Altha's decision, while she nodded in understanding. "But, after all," Hagr declared, puffing out his chest with a hint of pride, "at ten years old, I'm practically a grown man! I can handle anything, even eating sosuuka on the way without spilling a drop." Altha burst into laughter at his boast. "Sosuuka without spilling? I'd sooner believe kikkamoos could fly!" Hagr joined in her laughter, the sound echoing across the desolate landscape as they continued on their journey to Kihar.
Chapter 3: Arrival in Kihar
As Hagr and Altha approached Kihar, the plascrete town sprawled out before them, its streets winding like intricate mazes through the heart of the city. In stark contrast to the barren landscape of Zandarius, Kihar was a vibrant tapestry of life, with lush vegetation adorning every corner. Hagr’s eyes roamed over the cityscape, taking in the sight of the bustling alleys and the constant mist of smoke that hung in the air. Despite having visited many times before, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe at the bustling energy of the tradetown.
As they ventured deeper into the heart of the city, the tantalizing aroma of food mingled with the sounds of chatter and laughter, tempting Hagr's senses and reminding him of the porridge-filled days back on their farm. Finally, they reached the local market, a bustling hub of activity where traders hawked their wares amidst the thick scent of spices and exotic foods. "First stop, Old Taramor's," Altha announced, her voice carrying above the din of the market. Hagr's thoughts drifted to Taramor, the old, grumpy trader who had been a fixture in Kihar for as long as he could remember. Despite his rough exterior, Taramor was one of the few honest traders left in the city, and Hagr had always respected him for it. "Sounds good to me," Hagr replied, his tone positive.
As they approached Old Taramor’s, Altha hopped off the Tsjoopa and turned to Hagr. "Hagr, could you fetch a crate of Heyla bottles from the back of the cart?" she asked. Hagr nodded silently, already moving to comply.
Entering the shop, they found Taramor snoozing behind his counter, the cluttered shelves and dusty displays a testament to his lack of care for his surroundings. Altha hesitated, reluctant to disturb the old trader, but time was of the essence. "Taramor," she whispered, her voice barely audible. No response. Again a bit louder this time “Taramor”. Still no response. Growing impatient, Hagr couldn't help but raise his voice. "Taramor!" Startled awake, Taramor shot upright, his eyes wide with surprise. "What the hell's going on?" he grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Oh, it's just you two," he muttered, recognizing Altha and Hagr. Altha gestured to Hagr to take a look around while she spoke with Taramor. Hagr nodded and wandered through the cluttered shelves, his curiosity piqued by the assortment of strange and exotic items on display. In the background, a television played the news, the volume turned low but still audible. A news reporter's voice cut through the air, reporting on the recent assassination of a high-ranking official. The military had already neutralized one suspect, but two others were still at large. The camera footage showed two figures cloaked in dark red and black, their faces obscured. Zooming in on one of the suspects, the reporter noted a tattoo of a three-headed monster on their neck, linking them to the notorious syndicate known as the Three-Headed Beast. "People are urged to remain vigilant," the reporter concluded, "and to report any sightings of the suspects to the authorities." "Hagr," Altha called out, pulling him from his thoughts. Quickly, he set down a strange-looking coffee maker he had been inspecting and hurried over to join them.
Outside, Hagr turned to his mother, concern etched on his face. "How did the trade go?" Altha hesitated before answering, her tone guarded. "It wasn't as successful as we had hoped, but we'll manage." Trying to sound confident, Hagr responded, "No need to worry, Mumu. We'll make it work."
As they made their way back through the bustling market, Hagr glanced at his mother. " Can we get some Uja skewers now?" Altha smiled warmly. "Absolutely, Hagr. Let’s grab some delicious Uja," she said, turning on their trusty, albeit rusty, Tsjoopa.
Chapter 4: Best place is home
As Altha and Hagr made their way home in the fading light, a bird soared above them, its silhouette dark against the dusky sky. They were nearing their farmstead, the exhausting trip almost at an end. Hagr turned to Altha, his curiosity piqued. “What is coffee?” he asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar word. Altha pondered for a moment before responding, “I’ve heard of it. It’s some sort of black drink. Similar to Puggatree juice, they say, it gives you energy.” Hagr wrinkled his nose in distaste. He had never been fond of Puggatree juice, finding its thick texture and slimy consistency unappealing. With a shake of his head, he decided he didn’t want to try coffee after all.
As they chatted, unaware of the figure watching them from afar, the landscape growing darker with each passing moment, they finally arrived at the farm.
Altha unloaded the traded goods from the Tsjoopa, and with a nod to Hagr, she motioned for him to stow it away in the barn. Hagr complied, placing the Tsjoopa in the barn, where sturdy plascrete walls and reinforced wooden beams protected it from the harsh winds. With the task done, he made his way back to the igloo. As he approached, he noticed that the interior was unusually dark, the comforting glow of the moonlamp absent. With a sense of unease gnawing at him, he entered cautiously.
To his horror, he found himself face to face with a cloaked figure in dark black and red, his alien eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. Before he could react, he spotted his mother on the floor, tears streaming down her face, with another figure standing over her, a scarred human face, and a sinister three-headed beast tattoo on his neck. “Mumu!” Hagr screamed in terror. The figure with glowing eyes uttered incomprehensible words, while the scarred man cursed, "We can't leave any witnesses, Deskva.” Altha whispered urgently, "Hagr, stay calm. Everything will be fine." Hagr looked at his mother in disbelief, his heart pounding in his chest. "What's going to happen?" his voice trembled with fear. The scarred human scoffed, "We can sell the boy on the black market, but the woman? She's too old to bother selling. Not worth the hassle, Des." With brute force, Deskva grabbed Hagr, who fought against his captor with all his might. "Please, let me go!" Hagr pleaded, his voice desperate as he struggled against Deskva's grip. As Hagr cast a desperate glance at his mother, tears welling in his eyes, the scarred man turned his attention to Altha, deeming her of no value. Without hesitation, he drew his pistol, aimed, and fired, the shot piercing through Altha’s skull with a sickening thud echoing through the silent igloo. Hagr’s world shattered as he watched his mother fall, tears blurring his vision, bile rising in his throat. Before he could comprehend what was happening, a brutal blow to his head sent him spiraling into darkness.

Here we are again in the shit stew that is the Fallowveil trailer park. We’ve got soul eating strippers, jobs that kill us, and plenty of weirdos, both the trailer trash and the potentially paranormal variety. It’s the place where even your own computer sometimes threatens to kill you. I can’t tell if I should be worried, or annoyed that all my neighbors have such irresponsible web habits. I know it’s not me that brings in all these machine wiping viruses.
So even though I got a system error that literally said “you’re useless and you should die” I’m less interested in that. Stupid thing. Like I don’t already know I’m useless. That’s not what I’m depressed about.
Well… I suppose it's tangentially related.
I hope anyone reading will forgive me. I’m feeling the sting of rejection right now. It was really stupid of me to ask. Especially now. Nobody here really likes me. They’ve only been nice to me as a courtesy because I was almost involved in a god damn shootout. And my idiot self decided that was the perfect time to push one of my few friends all the way away. Never ask your friends out on dates. It ruins everything.
So there’s this woman. I’ve talked about her in the past. Trista Ramone. She lives in the far back corner of the trailer park. You can instantly tell which unit is hers because she’s covered every square inch of the property with gardens and a rabbit hutch. The place usually has beads and colorful flags hanging on its walls as well. She’s kind of a right winger’s nightmare. I know some of those flags represent various lgbtq plus communities.
She and I have been friendly in the past. We’re both night shift workers. We crossed paths quite a bit going to and from work so we struck up a friendship over the years.
Let’s just ripped the band aid off. Recently I’ve started thinking I had… stronger feelings for Trista. I got stupid and decided to tell her about them. She wasn’t interested. I get why. We have very different lifestyles. I like meat, and she thinks the meat industry is murder. I’m not willing to give up meat, and she’s not willing to give up her beliefs. It's as simple as that. Now things are incredibly awkward with one of my closer friends and I’m still spiraling into self loathing, where I belong.
She swore up and down that she absolutely still wants to be friends with me, but I’m not sure I believe her. The look she gave me when I told her I’d like to ask her out. It looked like sadness, but a small part of me is convinced it was pity, or worse, disgust and loathing, and that small part gave me ever shuts the fuck up. But anyway, she gave me permission to write about her.
She is one of the creepy fixtures of our little neighborhood after all. She told me to make her seem as insane and scary as I possibly could and that she should get to kill me at the end. She also handed me a few of her high school yearbooks, advised me to chat with another neighbor of ours who she went to school with, and to only use creepy rumors for the rest.
Part of me is really willing to describe her as awful, but that’s just my anger. I don’t like that part of me. Trista’s not a bad person at all. She’s just weird and she doesn’t want to date me. God damn it, Petunia’s right. I need therapy.
So, I’ve told the story of the sexy, scary lady living in a polycule here in the trailer park. I think she’s got a bigger heart than she lets on. I’ve talked about the stories surrounding the Schroeder Slaughterhouse. Now let’s talk about the hippy everyone thinks is a vampire.
She’s a taller woman, maybe five-seven or eight, and she’s skinny. Her typical wardrobe is… interesting. Try to imagine your typical new-age hippy/stoner girl, wearing colorful sarongs, crop-tops, beanies, baggy sweaters, T-shirts with colorful sayings on them, sandals, boots woven from some sort of exotic plant, beaded necklaces, bracelets, a few too many piercings and some intricate tattoos. Can you picture that kind of person? Well, take that and dip them in “goth” dye. Everything is black, and contrasts to her pale white complexion, her eyes are this unusual violet color, and then make the woman wearing all that seem kind of depressed about something. That’s the look Trista has going on. Like if Wednesday Addams was forced to dress up for Hippy Day.
I’ve heard people call her an emo vampire, but as a former emo myself, she doesn’t fill out all the criteria. She doesn’t typically wear any super tight pants or cake on the eyeshadow. I guess she’s just Trista. It might sound weird (and it is) but the whole thing suits her. Her style, tattoos, and complexion all create this image of skinny vampiric waif with a mysterious past and a freaky sarcastic attitude and I found the whole thing… kinda hot.
Trista keeps to herself. She’s made the most out of her little corner of the trailer park. Like I said, she decked out her unit with garden squares, and a Rabbit pen. No idea why she’s allowed to do that. A lot of these places don’t allow pets. I heard she was also trying to put in a beehive too, but her neighbors are fighting her on that one. Our park is a bit too condensed for bees. She has a permit to grow hemp, but of course it’s not for recreational use. She treats it and uses it to weave things like handbags, clothes, and other stuff. There’s a consignment store in town that sells all kinds of things Trista has crafted herself. So she’s handy and self sufficient too. She paints, she carves wood, she weaves, she crochets, she sews, and who knows what else. She’s so good at her little crafts that apparently she’s able to support herself just selling them and working part time at the Moonlight Inn outside of town.
She’s also relatively friendly. I almost feel bad calling her weird, but here’s the thing, I’ve seen some REALLY weird shit. People jokingly call her a vampire, and she seems to embrace that, but part of me seriously wonders. The big clue is, like I mentioned, she’s completely nocturnal. She’s always asleep during the day, and every blind and curtain is drawn tight. The one time she came out during the day, she had on this full body suit with a helmet with UV glass and everything. Even then, she only showed up to give Petunia a hug, before leaving again.
That was the first time I saw Trista, come to think of it. I was kind of intrigued. It was kind of hard not to be when someone shows up to a community cookout in a freaking astronaut suit. I approached Petunia after she left.
“Who the heck was that?” I wondered.
“MASON! I’m so glad you could make it! You’ve been here about three months now! How’d that job interview go?”
“Oh. It went well. I might be doing janitorial work soon.”
“Night shift?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure.”
“If it’s the night shift, you’ll definitely meet the person who just left. That’s Trista. She’s the girl with the rabbits in the far corner. Poor girl. She’s got a really bad skin condition. Can’t let sunlight touch her.”
“Oh. Is she like… albino or something?”
“No, she’s got pigment. I don’t remember what the condition is called. I guess it started in high school or something. You’d have to ask her. And hey! If you work the night shift, you’ll probably get to chat with her!”
Petunia wasn’t wrong. I started working as a nighttime janitor for a number of local businesses. That was when I first started noticing the pale goth hippy. She rides around on a moped, with her dark hair and her sarong barely billowing behind her. I couldn’t see her face through the helmet, but she waved to me as she passed by.
The next time I saw her, she was jogging, but here’s where it gets weird. When I first stepped outside, all I saw was a blur. It actually startled me as I whipped toward it, but then there was this skinny tattooed pixie, somehow still looking like a stonehippy/vampire in jogging gear. I swear she was moving inhumanly fast when I first noticed her. That was when we introduced ourselves. She actually jogged over to say hello.
“Hey! You’re the new guy right?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. My name’s Mason!” I reached out to shake the pretty girl’s hand, like an awkward loser. She smirked and shook my hand. Her grip was weirdly strong, and a bit cold.
“I’m Trista. I’m the weirdo in the back with the rabbits.”
“Trista… oh, are you the one who has a thing with sunlight? I think Petunia mentioned you.”
“Yup! That’s me. Xerodoma pigmentosum. Sunlight hurts. I hate that it hurts.” She lamented.
“That’s gotta be rough,” I said sympathetically.
“You get used to it. You work at night?”
“Yeah. Works better for me.”
“I get that.”
And so on and so on. She’s pretty cool, with a bit of hilarious snark in there. And she secretly procured recreational weed she was willing to share. I kept working the night shift just hoping for another chance to talk to her and possibly buy a joint. Eventually she invited me over to share a joint. The inside of her place was actually pretty sparse and spartan compared to the outside. Though she was a fan of hanging beads. Most of the main room was taken up by her various crafting projects and supplies. Hemp weaves, some paintings, and even a wood carving of what I think was a rabbit, but it wasn’t anywhere near complete.
I followed her to her kitchen where she reached into the very back of her pantry and pulled out a shoebox. Inside was her stash, but there was something else which I found very strange. It was a pack of syringes and a thing I assume is to sterilize syringes. I know what you’re thinking, and that was my first thought too. It’s a poor neighborhood, the woman already smokes weed illegally, it’s not that big a shock that maybe she was involved in other drugs too. I decided not to ask at the time. We shared our joint, and we laughed, a lot. She made fun of me for being a lightweight, while I got completely hypnotized staring at the patterns of a shawl she had woven.
Months went by and we got closer, but I couldn’t forget those syringes. After a while I got worried. I’ve seen what heroine does to people. So the next time I went over to smoke and eat (vegan) pizza with her, I asked.
“Trista? Are you using anything other than weed?”
“Drugs?”
“Yeah.”
“No. Why?”
“You can tell me if you are.”
“Mason, sweetheart, I’m a stoner. I don’t fuck around with anything else and I never have.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Okay. Can I ask what that set of syringes are for?”
“Oh. In my stash box? Those are… part of my condition. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh. Is it like… embarrassing?”
“Yeah. So don’t ask. Can we just watch a movie?”
So I don't ask anymore. But I still have no idea what she does with those syringes. Based on what I read about that Xerodoma Pigmentosum thing she says she has, I have no clue what she would need to inject herself with.
Another time she asked me to check on her rabbits for her during the day, as her usual “sitter” had something come up. All I had to do was chop up the lettuce and carrots she left out. As I was enjoying the adorable fluffy faces, one of Trista’s neighbors, a woman named Bridget, poked her head outside her door.
“Hey. Do you know what Trista injects those rabbits with?”
“I… what?”
“I’ve seen her use syringes on those rabbits. She said she was just giving them medicine, but I swear I see her inject them every week.”
“I… I wouldn't know. She just asked me to feed them.”
“I love Trista, but that always seemed so weird. She has to know vaccines are a hoax!” I tuned the woman out after that one. My mind was on that set of syringes. Why would she be using them on rabbits? These things were her pets.
I was starting to crush on her by then. But I couldn’t help feeling weirded out by that. I was actually going to confront her, but the next time I came to visit, she was literally inside the Rabbit hutch, on her back, squealing with delight as her rabbit friends nuzzled and played with her.
“Bonnibelle! That tickles! Marcy! No chewing. Finn? Watch where you’re sticking that foot! Jake? Where are you? EEEEE Lumpy! Not the neck!”
It was as silly and adorable as it sounds. She was forced to whip herself upright when two of her little friends tried to burrow under her dress. She finally stood up with a laugh, cradling a rabbit in her arms and cooing at it.
There was just no way in hell this woman was doing anything that would hurt these animals. Bridget is a paranoid antivax weirdo anyway. If Trista was using syringes on the rabbits, I was convinced it was only for their benefit.
So life went on. I got more and more reclusive over the years. Petunia, Trista, and my next door neighbor Fred were the only things keeping me remotely connected to the outside. And so we get to now. So let’s see. What are the stories about the weird vampire woman?
Well, there’s the fact that she jogs at night, solo, in a poor neighborhood. Petunia keeps the shitty people contained and behaving for the most part, but I still wouldn’t exactly call it safe, especially for a young skinny woman. But she does it without a care in the world.
There’s one strange event that some people like to connect to this. I never knew this guy, but from what I hear he was a total weirdo who leered at anyone even remotely female. And this is despite the fact he was married. His name was Josh.
I remember him a bit. He’s the guy that Petunia chased away from one of her barbecues. Supposedly he was heard saying inappropriate things to the groups of ten year old girls that were playing in the bounce house Petunia rented. Telling them how pretty they were. Trying to coax them to take off their jackets. Police reports were filed but ultimately nothing could be proven. The guy's wife, Carole, always defends him for some reason.
But anyway, I remember hanging out with Trista one night a little over a year ago. She hadn’t gone jogging like she normally did. I asked her what was up with that.
“That weirdo, Josh has started catcalling when I pass his place. It weirds me out.”
“There aren’t other people who do that at night? I’m still shocked you jog alone.”
“Not like this. I can flip off a wolf whistler. But this guy… he keeps trying to get me to stop and talk to him, and when I don’t? He shouts about my ass. I’m gonna have to talk to Petunia about that shithead, if anybody can reign him in, it’s her.”
I’m gonna guess she never got a chance. Two days later, the whole town was awoken by sirens. I was getting ready for my shift when I heard them. I walked down the road a bit to see if I could figure out what was going on. The cops were heading toward the other side of the park, so I couldn’t see much. But I did notice Trista, in her jogging gear, skulking in the shadows. I wondered if she was in trouble. But before I could call out to her, she sprinted straight to Petunia's house and banged on the door. Petunia welcomed her inside, and that was all I saw. I still wasn’t sure what was going on, so I just shrugged and headed to work, figuring I’d text Trista later.
I didn’t learn till later that Josh was found dead. He was lying prone, face down, partly hidden by bushes at the edge of the park. His neck was cut open. He’d bled out rapidly. He had a knife in his hand, and officially it’s believed he fell on it and accidentally killed himself. There was a cocktail of drugs in his system so most people accept that explanation. But others swear they saw Trista out for her jog around the same time Josh would have been bleeding to death. She got questioned, and she swore she didn’t see anything. Without evidence, there was nothing else that could be proven.
Trista’s a friend. I know that guy was being creepy to her. So I’m happy to take her word for what happened, even if my seeing her going to Petunia’s pokes a bit of a hole in that. I can’t be sure it was Trista though. So I’m not saying a word. But if a certain creep attacked a certain lady who is rumored to be a vampire, it’s not that surprising to me that he ended up dead after bleeding to death. I’m not all that broken up about it.
I’m not the one spreading that story. Josh’s wife was the one who started the rumor. So now some people are even more convinced that the weird nocturnal hippy chick is secretly a vampire.
She’s no killer. No matter what they say. She would only have defended herself.
So that’s all the stories I’ve heard that have any credibility to them. There’s more people who swear she and Petunia perform weird rituals, and people who saw her moving “inhumanly fast” and such.
But now I have to share what I found in the yearbooks Trista gave me. I wasn’t really expecting much. I checked her senior yearbook out first. She looks about the same. Pale, goth, hippy, and sort of sad. She kind of looks even sadder in these photos if I’m being honest, but that’s high school for you. She graduated in the top half of her class, no sports or extracurriculars. I’m left wondering how she managed to go to school at the time of sun was so bad for her. I’ll have to ask her about that. So nothing really new there.
It was the yearbook from her junior year where things got really interesting. I was in shock when I found her. Trista is somehow impossible to miss, but unrecognizable all at once. She’s full of color! She wore more typical tie dye hippy attire. Bright vibrant pinks, reds, blues, greens, and yellows, in every photo, and holy shit was she busy. Captain of the soccer team, first chair flutist, president of the “green living” club and the “vegan alliance,” top ten in her class, it was all incredible. I think the main reason I didn’t recognize her was her skin. It was tan, as though she were out in the sun a lot. Furthermore there were photos of her playing sports and standing outside in bright sunlight.
It was like her disease wasn’t there, which confused me. She told me it was something called Xeroderma Pigmentosa. But that’s a genetic condition. She would have had that from birth.
I sent her a text, wondering about this.
- Hey! Just went through your yearbooks. What happened? You had color? Did you discover Linkin Park?
- My disease happened. Right at the end of Jr. year. That’s why I wasn’t there for the final class photo.
- But your disease is genetic… isn’t it?
- I guess it was dormant in me.
- So it just… happened?
- Pretty much.
- I’m sorry.
- I got over it. Mostly. It was hard. My parents were both hardcore vegan naturalists and we lived in a place that was all natural light and such, so I had to live in a shed for a bit while they built a space for me. But in my family? We kinda lean into whatever life throws at us. It took months of depression to come to terms with it. All of a sudden I couldn’t be out in the sun, and I had new dietary needs that absolutely required non-vegan sources. So I leaned into it. I was a vampire now. I can dig dark colors and “vampire style.” I could make it my own by avoiding leather. And I’d be as vegan as I possibly could.
- You’re kind of awesome.
- Damn straight. So I learned to love the night too and now, here I am.
I gained new respect for her after that. Frankly I feel kinda shitty about making fun of her for being a vampire. There might not be anything paranormally weird about her after all.
She sent me one more text telling me I should talk to a guy named Frankie. She’d gone to school with him. He’s a decent enough guy. Works in the Bicounty mall in town.
I had to wait a day or two for another of Petunia’s get togethers to talk to him.
“Hey!” I said awkwardly as I tried to figure out how to strike up conversation with someone I haven’t really spoken to in a long time. “Frankie, right?”
“Oh. Yeah. Been a while. How are you Mason? You okay after that whole thing at Red Nights?”
“I’m trying to be. Look, I’ll cut to the chase. You went to school with Trista Ramone, right?”
“Ol’ Boho Ramone? Yeah. We were sort of friendly. But I was a jerk to vegans back then. Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been hanging out with her. She’s being all mysterious.” He chuckled at that. “She said I should talk to you to learn more about her… weirdness? Everyone thinks she’s a vampire now.”
“She’s totally a vampire. I have no idea what else to call her?”
“Why do you say that?”
“What did she tell you about school?”
“Nothing. She just showed me two yearbooks. Between Junior and Senior year she went from colorful club president, to lonely vampire, because of her disease.”
“Nah man. I don’t want to talk bad about her. But she was kind of a bitch, junior year. She wasn’t just a colorful vegan. She was one of those “holier than thou” types who scoffed and talked down to anyone who dared to eat meat. Her “hippy” thing meant she never hung out with the popular girls but still, she acted like she owned the place at times. I was friends with this weird guy named Steven Jones. He was just kind of a weirdo. Skulking around in the background, you know? He HATED Trista. For a while I totally understood. I thought she was kinda stuck up. But this guy was like… irrationally enraged by that girl’s existence. I guess he tried to ask her out when he was a freshman and she politely declined. But he took that shit personally.”
“Huh. So like… why’s that matter?”
“Because Steven kept saying to anyone who gave him a second look, that he was gonna ‘ruin’ her. Never elaborated. But then the last month of school rolls around, Trista gets assaulted by an unknown assailant and a week later she’s got this new disease. Meanwhile, Steven spent a week strutting around the school looking smug, and saying ‘she got what she deserved.’ Then he disappears too. Teachers said he moved away.”
“She was assaulted?”
“Yeah. Someone in a face wrap tackled her while she was at one of her protests at the meat factory. The dude freaking BIT her.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. I was there. I came to the protest. I’ll admit I was trying to hit on Trista or one of the other girls there. But yeah. Dude dressed in all gray with a face wrap just charged in and went right for Trista. Knocked her down, bit her like a freaking zombie, then ran away before anyone could stop him. Didn’t even take his face wrap off. It was freaky, man.”
“What the actual fuck.”
“That’s what we all said. Trista needed a stitch. But while she was at the hospital, I guess she started getting more symptoms. She was out for the rest of the year. From then on, she was like she is now. Total vampire.”
“Was Steven a vampire?”
“I dunno. Probably. Little dickhead is what he is. Must have been him that attacked Trista, but nobody could prove it. Bite mark didn’t match or something. So why are you asking? You hang out with her at night right? You asking her out or something?”
“Oh. No. Just a friend.”
That was all I really learned from Frankie. It’s quite a story, and it’s full of unknowns that Trista refuses to explain. So I guess I’ll let readers be the judge. Is she a “real” vampire? Or just a weirdo? All I know is, she’s totally standing behind me right now and now I’m dead. Bleh.
I did come back to life to talk to Trista once I finished writing this. She enjoyed it. I may as well include that interaction.
I went to her place on my night off. She read my take on her and what the neighbors thought and she grinned. “Ha! I’m a total monster!” She chuckled. “So. What do YOU think, Mason? Am I a vampire?” She cocked an eye and playfully gnashes her teeth at me, making a pleasant little click.
I sighed. “No idea. You’re Trista. And… you’re my friend. I’m sorry if I made things awkward.”
She looked surprised by that. “Aw. Thanks Mason. You’re my friend too. It’s okay. I’m flattered.”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“So we’re cool?”
“Absolutely not. We’re both weird shut ins.” She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh. It made me happy.
“Yeah but I got the ‘mysterious vampire’ thing going.”
“You have dirt in your hair from rolling around with bunnies. And you’re a vegan.”
“Bite me.”
“Says the vampire.”
“You know, if I were a vampire, I could have bitten you when we both went to the slaughterhouses a few weeks ago.”
“That just makes me stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Mason. You’re not a loser either.”
“So. You know of any other good spooky town stories that I can do next?
“Oh, sure. You ever heard the tale of Salome? She was a witch who would mash up the seeds of a Sinapis Alba plant to make a diabolical potion she’d dump on herself. They called her the ‘Witch of the Sands.’”
I’m embarrassed to admit it took me four days to realize Trista was just fucking with me. I only figured it out when I looked up Sinapis Alba and learned that mashing the seeds just makes mustard. “Salomi the sand-witch.” Well played, vampire hippy…
Sexy Neighbor
Haunted Slaughterhouse

First and foremost I've definitely failed as an owner and didn't do enough things for her. All criticism and feedback are welcome and valid.
I've had her 4 years when I was living out in CA. Her previous owner gave her up due to her reactivity and they had a family of goldens that were not getting along with Luna. I tried to train her (half-heartedly) and never saw much progress.
It was never really an issue for me because I lived alone after moving to WA shortly after getting her, job was always remote for me to spend time with her, took her on lots of hikes, adventures, etc. and I could always manage holding her back when she would bark/lunge at other dogs during our walks. This doesn't happen all the time but with some breeds she's more reactive.
I've since moved back in with my family in the east coast and have realized the home is not the best place for Luna. The trigger for this post is when two days ago, Luna somehow swiped open the screen door facing the yard, attacked another dog, and when their owner tried to separate the two, Luna ended up biting her as well. This is the first time ever where she's bitten a person.
Cops and ambulance came (thankfully owner only suffered minor lacerations), police report filled out, and due to a new law passed in PA, I had to drop her off at an external facility where she'll be quarantined for 10 days.
I was under the impression she would still be let out to walk but this was not the case when I got there. The cage is quite small (for a husky her size) and there is another small-ish space behind for her to relieve herself. It's quite heartbreaking thinking how she's in that enclosed space not realizing what's going on and worse, not knowing how long she has to be in that space.
I still believe that she can be trained (my ex had an aussie and I have videos of them playing around/rough-housing. Full-disclosure, Luna did bite the Aussie at one point and I had to take her to the vet. And I might be wrong, I'm not an expert but seeing them getting along gives me some sense of hope) and with a right family, she can enjoy the things I wasn't able to provide. We went on so many trips together. Hiked across so many mountains in WA, the Canadian Rockies, even Alaska, and I feel like while I've given her awesome experiences, due to my lack of commitment to put her through formal training, I've failed as an owner.
Perhaps I'm trying to grab on to whatever excuse I can for an easy way out of the current situation but work will require me to fly to the west coast more frequently (hard to find a sitter on Rover with Luna's bite history and general reactivity towards dogs), parents are too old/weak to deal with Luna pulling when she walks, dad is allergic to fur which has been quite stressful for him as well as Luna since she's only allowed on the first floor.
Have called around local rescues/shelters and euthanizing will be almost guaranteed if I take her to the shelter. Rescues have also declined to take her due to her reactivity. No friends/families in the area that can take her as well.
She's really a wonderful dog. Crate-trained, house-trained, so goofy and loving and intelligent and objectively speaking, the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. She does great with children and babies as well.
If you're interested, let me know. Currently in eastern PA but willing to drive to eastern/central/southeastern US if you are interested in providing a new home for her.
Images of Luna: https://imgur.com/a/luna-mtrlWDQ

Just started the game? Here are a few tips I wish I knew at the beginning.

• Most important resources at the early phase until Prestige: Food, Gold, a bit later Wood You are going to need a lot of food for all your workers, later even more to regularly send out scouts and troops. Prioritize buildings that give these resources otherwise you are quickly stuck. It's never bad to have too much gold. If you have to wait for other resource and your gold is maxed, send out scouts, army or improve relationship with nations. There is always stuff to do with gold.
  
• +1 is better then +1% If you have to decide what to buy at the beginning flat increase is always better than percentage. Only later percentage takes off, but probably not in your first playthrough.
  
• Scout early and often Many research topics have to be found first. You can send more than one scout and they will count as if you scouted that amount of times. So if you have enough resources send out several at once.
  
• Attack all 0 Level enemies right away Enemies give you free bonus after they are defeated. 0 level threats are easy and can usually defeated with 1-5 warriors or spearman. Yes, there is a system of rock, paper, scissor for fighting. Search this reddit for a link to a website with a calculator, but honestly you stop using it quickly. For your first playthrough just to 0 level right away, later 1-2 level enemies. Don't bother with enemies above and don't worry about the sacred places. Leave that for later playthroughs when you have oracle. I did 30+ prestige and now only build a mass of warriors to overrun enemies.
  
• 1st prestige needs 4 watchmen outposts After you scout and research everything, you will widen your boundaries, then hear a bad report and build watchmen. After you build 4 you can research A Moonlite night. Before you do that, recruit as many warriors as you can, buy your commander, switch all your spells to defense. If you did that you usually can defeat the attack in your first playthrough. If not you will prestige automatically. If you win, research Knighthood (you probably already did), Celebrate and then Retirement. After that you can find a button on the top left that lets you prestige. Don't be afraid to click it, it first shows you what you will get and how you can spend prestige, you can still decide not to retire. BUT
  
• Before you prestige, build what you can Buildings give an achievement after 5 and 15 builds. Try to get as many achivs as possible, defeat all your left 0-3 enemies for added points, build any large constructions. Then feel free to prestige.
  
• Spend you prestige currency wisely. Remember which resources you struggled with and invest in these. Don't bother about getting new units, they are later more helpful. Get Granary if you can, it's great to solve food problems. Free population is also great. And of course more fame! If you hate guessing if you win against an enemy get the oracle upgrade.
  
• Next playthrough will be faster. I wouldn't bother to reach the next level of prestige currency (tome) until you do a new game plus (NG+). You get there by buying at least 25 prestige upgrades. You can try to get to the tome earlier. Just know that it needs a lot of idling. Scout a lot, defeat 4 Sacred Places (they are marked as level 5 threat but are actually more like level 3). Resource caps are going to be a problem: steel, horses, gold, faith, iron. These will need to be high to research all 4 spells. It's easier after NG+ when you can fight Level 5 threats and subdue all nations+more.
  

Hey ☺️ I wanted to talk to someone who may be in a similar situation about how they are feeling. I’m currently 25, will be 26 when the baby gets here, and I have so many mixed feelings! I currently live with my partner, not married (that’s another story) and I personally make about 72k in washington dc which doesn’t feel like much. I’m 16+5.
Physically: i have been blessed not to be feeling too many symptoms at all. No morning sickness, nothing really but the fact that i’m inhaling food and sleeping in until 12pm if i can. I completely missed the first half of a 10:30 am meeting today, and slept through the last quarter of it. My dogs still havent been out :/ i feel bad but i know i need rest. Getting up after this post lol. I work from home most days.
Mentally: i have mixxxed feelings. This baby kinda came out of baby fever and wasnt really “planned”. Once I got pregnant, i just knew i didn’t want to have an abortion again but at the same time wondering if i made the smartest decision.. i also never wanted to have a child late in life, i trust my partner to be a good father and be present, and kinda wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to have the child at this time. But now i go back and forth like.. am i gonna miss not having this responsibility? Do i even have enough money for this? Am i going to feel motherly enough? It also doesn’t always feel real because of the no symptoms part. Its been hard to enjoy pregnancy so far. Anatomy scan is soon, i usually cry when i see the baby in the ultrasound. So im hoping that will help. Im just really worried that i am ready for this. Sometimes my partner and I fight over small things, but i also wonder will we become successful enough to take care of the child because we both find ourselves struggling before we get paid again. It’s never too bad, we always pay our bills and have food to eat. Im thinking we might have to downsize - we currently live in a 2br house that’s 2900 a month including ALL utilities. I love our neighborhood.
Idk, just looking for anyone else in a similar situation that can relate and also looking for positive advice! Sorry for the long post!

I'm posting some old stories that I wrote maybe 6 or 7 years ago before I knew HFY existed so you may have read them before on WP or some other sub but they are mine. Also, obligatory "english is not my first language"
Calvin sat in silence, his gaze focused on the green dot flashing slowly on his console. The Council had kept their word. His comm interface had connected to a temporary relay satellite near Saturn. A special request that was granted to lift Earth's isolation sentence for a brief moment to relay a final message to the cosmos. Everything was ready, the message prerecorded the day before and final adjustements to the gift had been made a few weeks ago. Calvin pondered everything that had happened, every events leading to this moment, to humanity's last chance to stand on the centerstage.
It didn't start this way. When humanity first made contact with an extraterrestrial race, we were welcomed with opened arms. Our very first message was "we come in a spirit of friendship" Humanity's quick evolution and technological progress had already caught the attention of the Galactic System Alliance. Some of its members were concerned over the general violent tendencies demonstrated throughout human history but true to its benevolent mission, the Alliance had given humanity the benefit of the doubt. We were allowed outposts, territories, trading routes and even the newly created 328th seat on the Galactic Council of Representatives. Humanity was given a real fair chance to shine. And boy did we waste it.
The Galactic Alliance was over 5 million years old, some of its members could be traced back all the way to the founding days of the Alliance. It had brought about a previously unheard of, almost uninterrupted era of peace throughout the galaxy. Its rulings were generally both fair and just. A beacon of hope and justice into the dark cosmos. Humanity gave it its first civil war, less than 50 years after joining. 5 million years of peace, ripped apart in the space of a moment.
Humanity started off well enough. Outposts and trading were profitable and while human vessels were not as technologically advanced as other races, our ability to anticipate enemy movements and quickly adapt to volatile situations made us a prime candidate for galactic peacekeeping missions. Humans rapidly made a name for themselves as a deterrent to pirates and smugglers. The Galactic Council did not hesitate to authorize human settlements in sectors prone to hostile actions, knowing that humanity's presence would pacify a sector quickly. Humanity's image rose to a more favorable one and initial concerns and hesitations towards us slowly crumbled away. Unfortunately with the rise of humanity's standing, came a rise of its hubris. After all, humans will always remain humans; fickle, volatile, greedy.
Humanity became more and more demanding in its dealings with the Alliance. We constantly wanted more, became arrogant, took what we felt we deserved. The Council turned a blind eye when humanity moved in on turbulent territories and claim them for itself but before long, we had our eyes set on more prominent systems. With every outburst and hostile action, we only isolated ourselves further. Humanity's positive image quickly turned negative, and when backed into a corner, humanity turned vengeful. We convinced ourselves we were the victims and that in the end, it was us or them. Some members of the Alliance came to view our side of things, others were forced into servitude. A simple spark was all it took for a full fledge civil war to break out.
Within the span of only 3 years, the Alliance was on fire, divided, broken. Humanity's unmatched potential for warfare made it a formidable enemy but in the end our arrogance got the better of us and we lost. The consequences for our actions were harsh but justified. Given humanity's irrecoverable nature, we had been sentenced to erasing. All humans would be relocated to Earth, sterilized and left to die alone, the Sol system kept under a permanent military blockade. All mentions of humanity were to be removed from Galactic history and we would be forgotten, erased from existence. It was the second time only, in the entire Alliance's history that this punishment was handed out.
As a final gesture of good will, the Council had authorized a final message from humanity's last living representative to the members of the Alliance, to be distributed, but then erased. Looking up from his console, Calvin toggled the small switch that would send out the transmission to the satellite's internal memory, then end his life. He permitted himself a final smile, the Council would be seriously pissed... at first.
In the dark emptiness of space, the small satellite's memory indicator turned red, signaling reception of a message but unfortunately it was too far away to witness the small light flash from the thermo nuclear explosion that officially ended humanity's presence in the galaxy.
Captain Xandar was pacing back and forth across the small bridge of his scout vessel. While he was honored to be part of an official Council mission, he couldn't help but feel that he was potentially being sacrificed as cannon fodder. The Council may have granted the human's wish of a last message but it still feared a trap. Human's deceptive and violent nature would leave a dark shadow on the galaxy, slow to vanish. Humanity's first word to the Alliance, "Friend" had become a synonym of "deceit, treachery and naivety". The 20 large warships hiding just outside the limit of the Sol system did nothing to calm Xandar's nerves. While they were there to offer protection in case of a human trap, should things go south they would probably not hesitate to destroy Xandar's vessel if needed.
Captain, we are in range of the relay satellite. Systems confirm there is indeed a message on the internal memory. Initial scans show the data file is rather large but still looks clean.
Xandar sighed, the poor human schmuck probably went on a long tirade against the Alliance. A fitting end for such a violent race.
Very well lieutenant, download and scan the message. If everything looks good we'll transmit it to the Council and they can decide if it's worth sharing to the rest of the Alliance or not.
As soon as the young lieutenant opened the message file, all lights on the bridge went out, the quiet hum of the engines vanished and artificial gravity disengaged. Xandar was doing his best to maintain his composure while slowly drifting 2 feet in the air but as suddenly as it had vanished, artificial gravity came back and the emergency lighting activated, bathing the bridge in a reddish hue. On the main screen was a sole human, weak and frail in appearance.
Apologies to the commander of the Alliance vessel, I assure you that I meant no disrespect and no harm to your vessel and your crew. As authorized by the Galactic Council of Representatives, I hereby bring you a final farewell from humanity, as well as a final gift to remember us by.
Xandar was panicking, all restraint and stoic facade usually associated with his rank had vanished from his face, his eyes were white with fear.
Shit! The damn human played us like fool! Lieutenant, I want an immediate status report on the ship's systems. First officer, contact the fleet, there is no telling what we just exposed ourselves to.
Comms are down sir, unable to raise the fleet. We have limited access to the main computer and all blast doors have been sealed shut throughout the ship. She’s dead in the waters Sir.
Damn it! I want every exabyte of that datafile analyzed for any trace of a virus or even biological agents. We should have known better than to trust the humans to honor their word.
Xandar looked back to the monitor, the human had remained silent, probably anticipating the commotion that his message would cause. Xandar waited for the recording to resume.
Now, I assume the initial moment of shock is behind us so let’s continue. As I said, I bring you a final gift from humanity to all races and citizens of the Alliance. Fear not, though this final deception on our part may appear as vengeful, I assure you it is not the case. I knew the Council would never allow for this message to be shared throughout the Alliance, let alone our gift so I had to take some creative measures. Your analysis team is probably telling you about now that the 2 data files enclosed with this message are organic and they are correct though fear not, it is not a biological agent or a viral threat. Both files contain the DNA blueprints of Dogs. While we initially had dozen of sub-species, the complexity of this entire action limited me to only upload one specific breed. More precisely I give you the Retriever Labrador. I have enclosed blueprints for a brown-coated male and a golden-coated female. Though they are called man's best friend, I assure you they are nothing like us, to the contrary they are loyal, playful and innocent. They represent everything humanity has failed to be. They are our gift to you in the hope that you will one day forgive us for everything we have done. May they be a protector when evil threatens you. May they be love when hate isolates you. May they be a beacon of hope when darkness surrounds you. Treat them well. We did not deserve them, but hopefully you will prove yourself worthy of them.
The ship's systems came back online the very moment the recording ended. Lights rekindled across the bridge and the engines sprung back to life, filling the vessel with their low humming. Xandar looked over to the bridge crew, most of them still in shock and unsure of what exactly had happened. It was the young comms lieutenant that broke the silence first.
Sir, all systems are back online. Comms are back up and the fleet is hailing us, they want to know what the hell is going on. They are asking if we have been compromised.
Tell the fleet to remain on stand-by, we will need to assess the situation. First officer, give me a full systems check.
Sir, I'm detecting a massive power fluctuation from levels 3 through 7. Powers appears to have been rerouted to the auxiliary deck.
Tell engineering to stabilize the power levels and seal off the auxiliary deck
Controls are unresponsive Sir, power is being channeled to the backup biological replicators
What? Kill all power to the auxiliary deck, NOW!
We can't, the auxiliary deck is hooked up directly within the main generator and has its own dedicated safety bypass. It's meant to work even in the events of a catastrophic engine failure to insure the survival of the crew.
Shit! The human didn't do this by accident. He purposely automated his virus through the backup replicators knowing full well we wouldn't be able to turn them off. First officer, I need you to vent the atmosphere from the auxiliary deck's replicator room.
Controls are unresponsive Sir
Then blow the damn room out to space, do whatever is needed to stop this!
There is nothing we can do sir, we're completely locked out of the auxiliary deck. Security teams are waiting outside the replicator room but the system won't allow me to open the door.
Xandar was unsure how to proceed at this point. They had been compromised but calling in the fleet would mean immediate destruction. He pondered for a while but then made the decision to contact the fleet regardless of the consequences. He had a duty to insure the safety of the Alliance. He turned to the young lieutenant and gave the order to raise the fleet. His gaze was however quickly met with the panicked expression of the young comm's lieutenant.
Sir! The recording! It's transmitting itself to the fleet via our open commlink!
WHAT?
The fleet is no longer responding. I think... I think they're going through what we went through when we first opened the recording.
Xandar was in shock. The realisation of what was about to happen was slowly setting in.
If you're right son, that means the recording will activate their organic replicators as well and then transmit itself to the rest of the Alliance fleet. We've doomed the Alliance.
Sir! Replicators report completion of their programmed tasks.
Auxiliary deck controls are back online! Scanners indicate 2 life forms. Replicator room doors just opened on their own!
Xandar turned slowly towards his first officer.
Sir, there is a final message on the replicator console's screen.
---Protocol Goodboy1 successful
---Protocol Goodgirl2 successful
---May they show you the true meaning of the word "Friendship"
Bonus
It only seemed fitting that humanity's last action would be to blow trough bureaucratic redtapes and regulations to impose dogs on the galaxy (with the best of intentions of course). Calvin did promise no harm would come the vessel and its crew and that's been true... for the most part. There is definitly no physical harm and while psychological and/or traumatic consequences are a possibility (albeith a rather small one), you know... dogs will take care of that. It all works out in the end.
Well, except for the poor Glaxien crew members who turns out are deadly allergic to dog hair, and the Phlosaks whose skin reacts to dog urine as if it was acid (poor bastard got peed on his face when he lifted a puppy), and the Klaangorians who's very fragile and very vital lower mandible looked like the ideal chew toy for one young puppy. A very uselessly exposed lower mandible if you ask me. Not to mention the many planetary ecosystems that will be seriously messed up by the introduction of a new uncontrolled species.
In fact some would argue that those pesky government regulations were there for a reason, that with time, the Alliance could and would have experimented with the DNA blueprint in a controlled environment and then, given positive results, would have moved on to a gradual and supervised introduction of dogs in the galaxy.
But you know, that's just not the human way to do things. Better to rip the bandage in one go and hope for the best. Surely the Alliance can't fault humanity for what Calvin did, it was for the best, THEIR best and while in retrospect we are kinda sorry about the whole "accidental death by dogs" thing and ruined ecosystems, these are freak occurences, trivial, statistically benign. Like the great Cave Johnson once said, if I put these numbers into my calculator it makes a happy face.
You're welcome universe, we accept your most sincere gratitude and your apologies are much appreciated. You don't have to feel the need to mention it, we're totaly fine. In fact, please stop yelling at us.

Below is one of my very first attempts at reconciling with my past. Hope it inspires you all to challenge what happened in your lives.
I don't remember this period of time too well - our mind is an interesting construct making traumatic experiences seem like they did not happen to us. What I know for sure is that I felt uneasy around him. His empty jokes, blank eyes, depressing demeanor. I could not pinpoint what was going on but I was avoiding him whenever I could.
I was a 12 year old kid, involved in school athletics, son of a single mother. Everyone could tell she was struggling but no one could tell how much I was. Nonetheless, at some point she met someone and soon after made him pick me up from school or simply set up situations to "get to know him". Despite what they thought, I knew exactly what was going and played the game as well - I tried to get to know him. In terms of my feelings, I was indifferent leaning towards aversion. He did nothing wrong at that point, it was just not pleasant to be around him. In fact, I liked how my mother was leaving the house a lot. Why did I like to be alone? That's a good question and I simply don't remember - it's quite possible that my mother's struggles had an impact on me that I could not yet understand.
Now when I think about it, everything happened so quick. They got engaged and soon after the man got a job abroad. He was supposed to be a manual worker. Shortly after he left, my mother started telling me that it would be a good idea to move there as well. We even visited him and during that trip they told me all these beautiful stories about our future house, dogs, possibilities. Of course, all of these were lies which I later found out. I made one of my very first adult decisions at that point - I said no. Shortly after, she left and I lived with my grandmother for a year. While I am very grateful for what my grandmother did for me, she was quite "old school" and it was difficult for a teenager to be left by now both parents.
After a year I started failing school. I don’t remember it too well but they also got married in the meantime. It is funny how you always blame everything around you but not the real cause of the problem which is quite obvious. I remember calling my mother blaming my grandmother and everything around me at that point. I told her I wanted to move and soon after I actually did. As mentioned, everything they told me was a lie. We lived in one large bedroom for a month in the middle of nowhere. It is actually a miracle I was accepted to a public school without speaking the language too well. However, we did move out to a small apartment where I finally had my small bedroom.
I actually remember the school relatively well - it was probably too big of an event to forget. I also remember the loneliness, bullying because of poor language skills and struggle to keep up with school. I also remember that I could no longer be the athlete I wanted to be as the local club was simply too amateur for my dreams. Now when I think about it, I was so isolated I never met with anyone outside of school or sport activities.
My whole life revolved around video games, movies and sport - I trained as much as the circumstances allowed me. The everyday life was tense, my mother's husband was depressing and I subconsciously wanted to avoid him. I could feel that something wrong was going on. I know they were fighting a lot, the atmosphere was simply not right. Well, I had my video games and my own room - I was safe. At some point I made my second adult decision, I said I want to go back and we actually did.
My mother's husband did not move with us immediately, it was just me and her at the beginning. To be honest, I don't remember that period at all. What I know is that my mother was depressed - or maybe always have been. I don't remember when he moved in with us but I immediately felt it. I avoided him as much as I could, every time he spoke to me I felt uneasy. As a large man he liked to tell me that he knows self-defense and what he can do. I never knew and never will know why.
The everyday life was getting pretty tense. I felt like a lot of was happening around me, some things I knew, some I pretended to not see and some I simply did not know. I don't remember too much. I remember finding him passed out with vomit and blood mixed up in front of our house. I remember seeing him passed out after breaking living room doors. I also remember my mother crying out for help because he did not want to leave the house until she gave him alcohol which she hid. At the very same moment he was threating me that he would break me bones if I did not give me him alcohol. At one point I told my mother that I will never return home if I ever see him again. Many years later I'm still incredibly angry at her for her response "ok that's enough" like I was a stupid child that should shut up and not participate in any decision making (well I was a child). So you can use your child to protect you like a tool but you take away his right to decide for himself? Was I responsible for your life decisions?
At some point, she completely broke down and her child had to say that everything will be ok. Apparently he got into a lot of debt and it was just getting worse everyday. I had to tell her to get post-nup and divorce as quick as possible. An underage kid had to carry the mental load on his shoulders. What hurts the most is the fact that each time I've expressed my anger or sadness she said either "do you think I had it easy" or "that's enough". She had it tough but I think she also chose her very egoistic way of healing. To remember what she wants to remember, to discredit her son's trauma and to make it "our suffering". The problem is that child was not responsible for her relationships, financial problems and mental issues. It was just a child that wanted to live and grow in peace.
I've become incredibly angry at what happened, at my mother and dysfunctional childhood. My emotions today and healing - I believe it is all for the better. I also know that I will never be the same person after trying to reconcile with my past. If to heal means to avoid your mother and her egoistic denial and way of healing? I think I am okay with that, I am no longer going to pretend that I do not suffer because of my childhood. As you can probably infer from the text above, there were more traumatic events in my life that I need to reconcile with. It's time to finally mourn that childhood.