Introduction: The Mysterious Double Album
I’ll always remember 2 AM on April 19th 2024. I was in my pjs, alone, on my balcony, fresh off my first listen to Taylor Swift’s album The Tortured Poet’s Department. After sufficiently enjoying my solitary experience, I took to the internet to see what the masses were saying…when Swift dropped a whole second album: The Tortured Poets Department Anthology. Swift, a master of both Easter egging surprises for her fandom and practicing the number one rule of business (give the people what they want!), had been hinting at something “double” for months. Most significantly, while accepting her Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album, she flashed a “peace sign.” That damn peace sign haunted the fandom for months. Swift’s corporate social media account, u/TaylorNation, used peace sign emojis and called attention to the number two whenever possible (ie teasing the album 22 days out etc.). There were also many “2”s present in in the promotional “experiences” leading up to the album release date—including statues of peace signs at the TTPD interactive experience at The Grove in LA. As usual, some Swifties went bonkers with their theories (or “clowning” as outlandish theorizing is referred to in the community). I myself couldn’t help but believe some concept of doubling would be significant in TTPD, but I couldn’t have guessed a full DOUBLE album (Swift’s capitalization). What an absolute treat. Mother was, as they say, mothering.
…Only the two mania didn’t seem to end post-drop. If anything, the two mania heightened. The albums were not just surprises in themselves, they were full of mystery. They seemed to reference multiple relationships, cryptic narratives, allusions to Swift’s previous songs, allusions to iconic poets, and very often, twins. The sleuthing type of Swiftie (full disclosure, moi) dove in deep. We gathered where we do—on Twitter, on TikTok, on Reddit (my preferred sandlot). And as we obsessed over every lyric, literary allusion, and video clip, Swift, our self-appointed “chairman” seemed to encourage us. Swift added a TTPD set to her Eras tour in Paris. Afterward, she posted a collection of photos to Instagram. The second photo of the post is Swift onstage, in a sparkling showman’s outfit, flashing two fingers.
Initial Tortured Poets and Sylvia Plath Connections
Swift has always been an incredible poet, but that’s not necessarily how the world saw hesees her. Swift is a pop star, specifically, Swift was a young girly pop star, most known for her tabloid romances and dramas, which she would (allegedly) write about in her music. Swift’s work has been labeled as “confessional” since her first album, which included songs she openly said were about boys at her high school. I offer this context (or, lore) to explain why I began seeing connections to TTPD in Sylvia Plath’s “confessional” work.
Of course, the theme of TTPD is tortured poets, so many avid literary Swifties have enjoyed seeking connections between Swift’s new songs and iconic poetry. No connections are overt, but some seem to be more likely than others. Namely, there’s been much discussion of Virginia Woolf thanks to the song “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”(perhaps a riff on the Edward Albee play title). Other Swifties have found possible lyrical links to Mary Shelley and Charlotte Bronte. Swift herself references Patti Smith and Dylan Thomas in the album’s title track.
I remembered a third poet in relation to Smith and Thomas: Sylvia Plath, obviously an all timer of a tortured poet. I remember hearing an anecdote that she had been obsessed with Thomas and stalked him outside the Chelsea Hotel (also named in the TTPD title track). I did a quick skim of Plath’s Wikipedia to confirm and then started noticing many possible connections to TTPD and Plath’s life.
In the “Fortnight” music video, Swift acts out being institutionalized for insanity and getting electric shock treatment—two significant experiences in Plath’s life. Plath was also coupled with a deeply problematic man, Ted Hughes. Plath fell in love with Hughes for his artistic talent before he revealed himself to be an unsupportive parter, ultimately cheating on Plath with a younger woman. The narrative is not too dissimilar to the narrative about Swift’s alleged ex Matty Healy, as seemingly told in TTPD. (Of course, we don’t know the true subjects of Swift’s songs—if they’re even actually confessional—but some key hints point to Healy. Whether those hints provide actual context to Swift’s life or to the story Swift is telling of her life, one cannot know.) Finally, several of TTPD songs reference a latent desire for suicide (“I might as well die / it would make no difference” etc.). Okay, post-“finally,” these are stretches, but, I’ll note anyway: one of Plath’s most famous collections of poems is titled Ariel, but an alternate title was Daddy. There are connections to both words in TTPD via the song “But Daddy I Love Him.” The title is a line from the Disney movie The Little Mermaid (which features the main character Ariel, a mermaid, caught between two worlds). Extra clowning: some people (hi, I'm people) believe Swift’s 1989 costume for her first Paris concert was an allusion to Ariel: a pink crop top and a seafoam skirt.
As I dug into Plath's life, I couldn’t help but also see similarities to Swift's life. Both women were prolific writers from a very young age. Also, although possibly obscured through artistic license, both women were/are known to write about their own lives. (Plath was apparently encouraged by her professors Robert Lowell and Anne Sexton to write from her experience. I cannot help but tie in Swift’s “The Manuscript” lyric “the Professor said to write what you know.”) Both Plath and Swift expressed/express their depression via their writing, but if you only knew them from their public personas, you’d never guess the depths of their struggles. It seems both Plath and Swift lived/live double lives. Plath was actually fascinated by the concept of doubles. In fact, the concept of doubling was the topic of Plath’s college thesis paper “The Magic Mirror.”
The Magic Mirror and TTPD
Plath’s college paper is sadly not available to the general public. (It had a limited print run in, you guessed it, 1989.) But! I was able to read a few texts about the thesis, and the amount of possible TTPD references is astounding.
Since we can’t directly analyze Swift’s work via Plath’s directly, I’d like to share several key quotes from the most telling article I could find about the “The Magic Mirror”: “Sylvia Plath’s Magic Mirror” by Kelly Coyne (May 2018, The Los Angeles Review of Books). (To be noted, Coyne has also written about Swift, in her article “Growing Up In Taylor Swift’s America” in December 2023 on Literary Hub—a fabulous read!)
Early in her article, Coyne sets the scene for Plath's thesis:
“Her undergraduate thesis, which she wrote as a senior at Smith College...is titled “The Magic Mirror: A Study of the Double in Two of Dostoevsky’s Novels.” “The Magic Mirror” explores literary doubles made up of a character’s repressed traits, and, as the double grows in power, it heralds the protagonist’s death. Citing Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as well as Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, Plath argued that the choice to create a double works to “reveal hitherto concealed character traits in a radical manner” and simultaneously exposes the driving conflicts of the novel housing that character. Her thesis claims that both Ivan, of The Brothers Karamazov, and Golyadkin, of The Double, have attempted to repress troubling aspects of their personalities, resulting in the double.”
Immediately, I imagine the two versions of Swift from the “Anti-Hero” music video. One Swift is real, true, sensible. The other is a pot-stirring, self-esteem destroying, alcoholic. During Eras, the huge Swift (monster on a hill) screams and stomps around in the background while the real, true Swift smiles and dances in a sparkle dress onstage. The fandom seems to be referring to these two Swifts as Taylor Swift and TAYLOR SWIFT (TM). Folks have theorized Post-Malone in the Fortnight music video is not necessarily a lover, but a twin, or double, of Swift. This theory is enhances by the Eras visuals during that song, specifically two dancers walking away to the back of the stage, but then becoming one.
More Coyne: “Plath, quoting Dostoyevsky in her thesis, noted that Ivan’s double, Smerdyakov, is “wrinkled” and “yellow.” The distinct differences in appearance between originator and double, she continued, are meant to reflect the protagonist’s mental state and cultural status.”
First of all, yellow. In the Gaylor community, folks have often theorized yellow symbolizes being closeted—a reading based on the symbolic coloring in the 1999 film …But I’m a Cheerleader. However, one need not be a Gaylor to consider the importance of yellow to Swift’s storytelling. Most recently, Swift performed “my tears ricochet” at Eras in a bright yellow dress, as her dancers were dressed for a funeral. Following Coyne’s analysis of Plath's analysis of Dostoyevsky, one could guess Swift is teasing a death of some version of herself.
Coyne discusses how Plath clearly used a “double” of herself to write The Bell Jar. Plath herself spent a summer in New York interning for Mademoiselle. The protagonist in TBJ, Esther, spends a summer in New York interning at a magazine too. To go even further down the rabbit hole, Esther also doubles herself, frequently expressing normalcy on the outside and despair on the inside. On the book's first page, Esther tells her audience, “I was supposed to be having the time of my life.” (Again, I cannot help but hear a Swift echo of, “I can read your mind / she’s having the time of her life” from “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” about smiling through her depression.) Coyne makes many more references to mirrors and concealing in The Bell Jar, Ether’s split (and sadness) gets worse and worse the more she hides who she is from others. Notably, at a low point, Esther hides under her mother’s bed. (And Swift sings of a post-heartbreak depression, “Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal / And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed.”)
Coyne writes about the “imprisoned” aspect of doubles: “The wound from which Esther tries, and fails, to hide chimes with the inescapable, colonizing double, and Plath’s language again illustrates its penal nature: it is inside Esther, but it traps her like a jail cell.” (Again, I cannot help but see references to “Fresh Out the Slammer”, “The Smaller Man Who Ever Lived,” and the TTPD Eras visuals of cages and cell lighting.)
Coyne, on Plath’s doubles’ names, something Swift has not ever used (or so we think): “From her conception of The Bell Jar all the way to its final revisions, Plath suffered an exhausting amount of anxiety over its heroine’s name.” Plath wrote to a friend, “‘I’ll have to publish it under a pseudonym, if I ever get it accepted, because it’s so chock full of real people I’d be sued to death’...Indeed, this wasn’t mere paranoia; she did have to change her protagonist’s name at the instruction of her editor for legal reasons.”
Coyne continues, “Most novelists likely have concerns about being associated with the characters to whom they give life, especially the ugly ones, and especially when the character resembles its author. Yet what is unique about Plath’s case is her knowledge of the theoretical underpinnings and implications of her choice to push Esther away, and the hold this knowledge assumed on Plath’s work and life. Another look at The Bell Jar with a consideration of Esther as Plath’s double tangles the issue even further, and Plath drops clues for this kind of reading throughout the novel. Esther, for example, sits down to write her own novel and recounts, “My heroine would be myself, only in disguise. She would be called Elaine. Elaine. I counted the letters on my fingers. There were six letters in Esther, too. It seemed a lucky thing.” Not coincidentally, Plath’s first name has six letters as well.” Again, Plath was in a bizarre double infinity loop (like the loop on the Eras stage in “Down Bad”?). Plath was concealing her double, the protagonist in her novel, who was concealing her double, the protagonist in her novel.
Coyne wraps up her findings: “In her thesis, written nearly a decade earlier, as she turned 22 — the year after her first documented suicide attempt — Plath claimed, quoting Otto Rank:
In such situations, where the Double symbolizes the evil or repressed elements in man’s nature, the apparition of the Double “becomes a persecution by it, the repressed material returns in the form of that which represses.” Man’s instinct to avoid or ignore the unpleasant aspects of his character turns into an active terror when he is faced by his Double, which resurrects those very parts of his personality which he sought to escape. The confrontation of the Double in these instances usually results in a duel which ends in insanity or death for the original hero.”
Coyne seems to argue Plath believed an artist's double has the power to become bigger than the artist herself, ultimately killing her. Is TTPD Swift's predetermination of, hopefully, her her double's death instead of her own?
In Conclusion: Plath to her Mentor, Dessner on Swift
Who knows what TTPD is really truly about, and who knows if we ever will.
The biggest Easter egg, hiding in plain sight, is that the album is titled THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. There’s no apostrophe after “poet.” Nor is there an apostrophe after the “s” in “poets.” The department does not belong to a poet or to a collection of poets. It is a department OF tortured poets, perhaps two, to be exact. …or perhaps the album indicates the departure of the tortured poet...and her double.
I’ll sign off with two final quotes from my research:
According to Coyne, three months before Plath died by suicide, she had written a mentor about her second (obviously unfinished) book. Plath wrote, “It is to be called “Doubletake”, meaning that the second look you take at something reveals a deeper, double meaning […] it is semi-autobiographical about a wife whose husband turns out to be a deserter and philanderer although she had thought he was wonderful & perfect.”
According to Aaron Dessner’s TTPD release Instagram post: ”Keep searching and you'll find some new detail, layer or sliver of meaning with each listen.”
SUBREDDIT PS! Shout out to Expensive_Succotash5 for noting the TTPD intro poem's reference to being out of the oven, could be an allusion to Plath's death. Also shout-out to Good-Amphibian-7993 for this connection to a photo of Plath with a rose, not unlike Swift's album rose art.

I’ve been using a 35mm point and shoot for a year now. Messing around with different films and experimenting with development.
I’d really like the ability to push pull and set f stops so am thinking of getting an SLR (used to own the AE-1 years ago).
I’m a hobbyist but have a background studying film and grew up skateboarding and filming skating (VX1000, DVX, etc). With photography more than technique and scenes I’ve been getting the most enjoyment from leaving things up to chance. I wanna get weird.
I’d love to get my hands on a fish eye lens again. I’m interested to see if there are any strange or interesting interchangeable lenses for these more consumer friendly cameras (thinking of getting the FM2). I’m pretty clueless as to what’s available.
Another thing I’ve never really explored are filters besides the standards. Anything novelty items out there that produce interesting results? I’m thinking of star shots on acid or twin peaks dream sequence. Any suggestions appreciated.

I’ve been resisting so hard for the past year and a half since I kept on telling myself that I’m going batshit crazy, and that a man nearly twice my age whom I’ve only spoken to twice being my twin is just absurd and impossible. But now I’m starting to realize that those weird moments I have where I get hit with these vibes are way too consistent for it to just be in my head, especially after meeting him for the first time. I feel like the biggest thing that made me realize is that it just feels right somehow, I don’t know why. I imagined myself in front of a looking glass with him as my reflection (given that I’ve seen a dream about this long beforehand, although at the time I was hesitant to embrace it), it just hit me:
He is ME.
Now, I have no interest in getting involved romantically because it just doesn’t feel right given the circumstances, plus he’s just too similar to me (speech patterns, facial expressions, mannerisms, smile, same birthday). It reminded me of something my soulmate told me when we first started dating, that we have things in common but different enough to where we could sustain a romantic relationship, because if we were too similar we’d just be friends. I thought it definitely applied here. Funny thing is that my soulmate started to become more spiritual as well by studying the Bible when he used to be atheist. I think this whole TF experience brought us closer together despite the struggles we went through, because I genuinely do think I have become a better person, and to help him do so as well by extension. He even admitted himself that I help him heal his soul.
Until now, I just didn’t realize that my TF is one of the greatest gifts god could offer me. I will always be grateful for that and am willing to continue my journey with my soulmate as my companion.

https://preview.redd.it/tjns2c5u0v0d1.png?width=482&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a878e7f85de427fdd5f3d45f8b4f3e5d7ecce09
There is some mystery surrounding As Nodt.
https://preview.redd.it/fv00it1i3v0d1.png?width=533&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab6ed2d6e2db2e4fe64b12d300f23f987eee0595
It seems like he originates from the Human World and when Yhwach recruited him he called him one of those who survived. Suggesting he is a Gemischt Quincy that survived Auswahlen.
https://preview.redd.it/wyu691u12v0d1.png?width=534&format=png&auto=webp&s=45818cfa213296ce8da0472ab36892b770e726bf
It seems like he had no Quincy upbringing. He believed in heaven and hell and had a German bible at his bedside.
https://preview.redd.it/oxzzx4221v0d1.png?width=291&format=png&auto=webp&s=36613128fe03e878b4f2e9e1fd6faf7c1a6074c6
But according to Yhwach Uryu is the only Quincy ever to survive Auswahlen and all the other Gemischt Quincy died. I think he is telling the truth.
https://preview.redd.it/drw72h4k1v0d1.png?width=468&format=png&auto=webp&s=602f98bbc1aceb707a4e5208f4ca94af3954fc29
I think As Nodt was a survivor of the purge committed by Mayuri for his research on Quincy.
https://preview.redd.it/head7ibo1v0d1.png?width=348&format=png&auto=webp&s=a55450ee43f6c034b664f98d7427e573d073b24e
According to him he "studied" 2,661 Quincy with Soken being the last.
https://preview.redd.it/21z4aydpav0d1.png?width=588&format=png&auto=webp&s=39ecffa620649eb60775c427aa2e5405f7fab7bd
Hollows are poisonous to Quincy and Mayuri bribed the Shinigami assigned to monitored to delay their rescue when they were attacked by Hollows. I think As Nodt was a victim of this and was dying from hollow poisoning.
https://preview.redd.it/nqqmmckp3v0d1.png?width=401&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d3561abbf4449fc4fc16631eb083cc9b0e78382
I think the Llyod twins were also survivors. They also seem like they are from the Human World.
https://preview.redd.it/zp1o8joeev0d1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=5baacd242aa48ba36ce58592455706d87d7882ff
It seems like they were delivered by a human doctor and grew up in the human world.
https://preview.redd.it/gfwuj9jx3v0d1.png?width=623&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc084c13a911682d0ae8ff5a3085d3924632303a
I think the Quincy's persecution by the Shinigami led them to gradually stop passing down their heritage which is why As Nodt and the Llyod twins had a normal upbringing.
https://preview.redd.it/sxfpf7sr1v0d1.png?width=641&format=png&auto=webp&s=0407fd12487b15fac1818c31eb4ab8ebddaaa5ea
I think it began after being exterminated by the Shinigami 200 years ago a philosophy develop to let the Quincy die out.
https://preview.redd.it/ivqh7qj24v0d1.png?width=653&format=png&auto=webp&s=666f9b7a1b4a87611cd4874c9b44719d815ebbf8
I think he wanted to reverse this philosophy. In the past Ryuken was the opposite of how he is now he worried about the future of the Quincy.
https://preview.redd.it/24v6qhw44v0d1.png?width=598&format=png&auto=webp&s=c7b31d0801677249abcb4ddf7286bb01f6720d21
But became disillusioned with the death of his wife and adopted the philosophy of letting the Quincy die out.
https://preview.redd.it/86q2z9gl2v0d1.png?width=734&format=png&auto=webp&s=65721cdc043a170d54e652fdc604705ccc229509
One of my biggest critique of the TYBW Arc was that what happened 200 years ago never got any shine. It seemed like it inspired by the creation of Vollständig.
https://preview.redd.it/inhearym2v0d1.png?width=597&format=png&auto=webp&s=4641e9415002a69de267830385ac5b17036fc948
I had a theory that Soken and Quilge were Quincy from 200 years ago and what happened shaped their worldviews. Soken was a member of the Wandenreich and it seemed like Quilge knew him.
https://preview.redd.it/4jmjztmmlv0d1.png?width=931&format=png&auto=webp&s=b0730fea753b6be95cf51b5db631c79a1b77b7f8
With the reveal of that the all three worlds are meant to be one it feels like the Quincy deliberate trying to collapse the universe to return the world to it's previous state 200 years ago. Also Soken's quote about the sad faces of human and Shinigami paining him in hindsight seem like he had personal experience.

Hello I’m studying for my multi engine and I came across the following scenarios: (light twin)
15 miles out from your destination and 3000’ in IMC you lose the critical engine. The airport is now reporting less than legal minimums for the approach (500ft ovc and 1/2 mile vis). What is the best course of action generally? I know different circumstances dictate different decisions.
Would decisions change if you are already past the FAF with gear down? TIA

I know that it’s said that only women carry the twin gene since it has to do with hyper ovulation. However I’ve also read conflicting studies and information about males carrying it as well.
Whatever the case may be, my husband’s family tree has more twins than not. He is a fraternal twin himself, his mom is a twin, all 6 of aunts and uncles on his mom’s side are twins, and some of them are having twins now too! None of them have used fertility treatments of any kind or took any supplements/vitamins. I know statistically speaking that our chances are not increased or decreased just because of his family tree. However non statistically… this seems very strange. Maybe it’s all a coincidence but it’s so miraculous to me.
We are trying for a baby right now and I’m so nervous about this being a possibility. I know a lot of women yearn for a multiples pregnancy, but that’s certainly not what we’re shooting for given the complications that come with.
Moms of multiples, what has been your experience with family trees playing a role?

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In 2019, after astronaut Scott Kelly returned to earth after spending 340 days in space (in International Space Station), scientists ran a battery to tests comparing physiological/biological/molecular parameters with Scott's twin brother, Mark, and reported their findings in the journal Science.

• Changes were seen across multiple parameters including changes in telomere length, gene regulation measured in both epigenetic and transcriptional data, gut microbiome composition, body weight, carotid artery dimensions, subfoveal choroidal thickness and peripapillary total retinal thickness, and serum metabolites; and most of these changes returned to baseline (preflight) levels after ~6 months return to earth.
• But changes in some measures remained unchanged including some genes’ expression levels, increased DNA damage from chromosomal inversions, increased numbers of short telomeres, and attenuated cognitive function.

One observation from the Kelly twin's study caught the attention of Catriona Jamieson, a hematologist and director of the Sanford Stem Cell Institute at the University of California, San Diego: the astronaut twin, Scott Kelly, accumulated inversions and translocations in his DNA, which are the hallmarks of premalignancy and aging.
Jamieson is now conducting a series of experiments in collaboration with NASA to understand the impact of outer space on tumor an stem cell growth. This research may help mitigate the adverse effects of outer space on human genome once interplanetary travel becomes common place or even moon travel. At a basic science level, this research program also provides a shorter-time-frame model to study the process of aging itself (Scott Kelly showed signs of accelerated aging such as shortened telomeres.)
Jamieson recently sat down a STAT reporter to talk about this research program.

"Our first mission was SpX-24 in December of 2021. This was in collaboration with NASA. They gave us a $5 million grant to start the world’s first integrated space stem cell orbital research lab, ISSCOR. The first mission we did together with our implementation partner, it’s called Space Tango, was to send these little mini-bioreactors. They’re like little pediatric blood bags that have a three-dimensional sponge inside. We seeded that with bone marrow that comes from people undergoing hip replacement that were kind enough to donate their bone marrow.
"We put the bone marrow in those little nano-bioreactors, and we tagged them with a reporter, a fluorescent signal that tells us are those cells asleep or are they dividing? We want our normal bone marrow stem cells to be asleep 80% of the time to maintain their full fitness, their full potential to clone themselves. If they lose that, then they become exhausted.
"Our first mission, SpX-24, showed that actually stem cells get exhausted in space. They go crazy, they party, they hyper-proliferate, and then they lose their capacity to go to sleep. They’re totally wired. Then they lose their functional potential."

Read full interview at Q&A: Meet the scientist sending tumors into space. By Nicholas St. Fleur. STAT News. 6 May 2024 [archive]
Kelly Twin Study:

• Garrett-Bakelman FE, et al. The NASA Twins Study: A multidimensional analysis of a year-long human spaceflight. Science. 2019 Apr 12;364(6436):eaau8650. doi: 10.1126/science.aau8650. PMID: 30975860; PMCID: PMC7580864.

Cigarettes and rebellion have always gone hand-in-hand, and in an age of cigarette packet-sized health warnings, now more than ever, smoking a fag says: 'I do not give a fuck.' But if Brandon Flowers is hoping to strike a seditious pose by sparking up at the start of the interview, it's not going according to plan. The Killers' frontman is on all fours rooting through the junk that carpets the anteroom at the band's rehearsal space. "Has anyone seen my lighter?" he asks, rocking back on his heels. The question hangs in the air while Brandon cocks his head, waiting for an answer like a meerkat listening for a predator. Twenty-five years old and with a delicate bone structure, there's something almost dainty about him. Receiving no response, he returns to his search. "Oh, Jeez," he sighs. "I had it just a minute ago."
It's a scene that emphatically does not suggest a rebel without a cause. The mess isn't helping. The Killers' HQ - an industrial unit sandwiched between a construction supplier and the offices of a housing development just off Dean Martin Drive in West Las Vegas - is ankle-deep in designer clothing. A Dior Homme suit lies crumpled by the door; there's a pile of shoes topped like a sundae by a pair of Marc Jacobs trainers; and anyone wishing to enter the shoebox room the band use as an office must negotiate a mountain of discarded jeans. Many items are identifiable as coming from the wardrobe of Hot Fuss, The Killers' hugely successful 2004 debut album - triple platinum in the UK with two weeks at Number One and five million sold worldwide. Look! There are the shirts, ties and suit jackets they wore when they thrilled Glastonbury 2005 with indie rock anthems Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me. That was the crowning moment of a two-and-a-half year tour that finally concluded in October of last year. It seems that after playing that final date in Miami, they returned to Vegas and shrugged off their image onto the floor of this bland white box.
Now a fine layer of dust covers the dead clothes. The Killers have no further use for white tuxedos on their second album, Sam's Town. Today, Brandon wears a black polo shirt, black pin-stripe waistcoat, black jeans and black boots. Where there used to be a layer of foundation, there is now a beard - an untrimmed beard at that. Dave Keuning (30, guitar), Mark Stoermer (29, bass) and Ronnie Vannucci (29, drums) all echo Brandon's black ensemble. Ronnie has added Aviator shades and a handlebar moustache for a dash of motorcycle cop, Dave's frizzy bubble of hair gives him a Marc Bolan-ish air, and there's something very teenage about Mark's scuffed Vans.
Short of walking around wearing sandwich boards saying, "Our new record is a bit heavier than the last one," The Killers couldn't hope to communicate that message more effectively. And they have gained some musical girth on Sam's Town. The pop hooks that made Hot Fuss so irresistible survive intact - see the ringing guitar riffs on first single When You Were Young - but there's a newfound punchiness, coupled with an epic sweep. The minor-to-major uplifts on Bones are fabulously dramatic, the coda to Why Do I Keep Counting? thrillingly intense. Comparisons to Bruce Springsteen have been made. If they overstate the case a little, they are at leaset qualitatively accurate. The Killers are back and this time it's serious - they've got the bootlace ties to prove it.
"Hey, it says here that Springsteen's headlining Glastonbury next year," shouts Ronnie, who's flicking through the NME. He nods sagely at the page without looking up.
"Really?" asks Dave, nicknamed Crazy Dave on account of his alledgedly volatile nature.
"The Boss is headlining one night, we're playing second on the bill the next night and Kylie's headlining the Sunday," says Brandon, charging like a bull through Michael Eavis' as-yet-unannounced line-up with what subsequently proves to be a characteristic gaucheness.
But that lighter is proving elusive. This being America, none of the people hurrying to-and-fro prepping the world for the release of Sam's Town smokes. Manager Robert Reynolds - Bobby Rey to the band - barks into his mobile, booking his band onto eye-wateringly demanding tours. "We're going to make a lot of money," he cackles to himself before switching calls to make a series of stern pronouncements on legal matters. Dave, Mark and Ronnie disappear for a jam session. Artwork is approved, B-sides are decided on and schedules are hammered out.
"I can't find it," Brandon says, finally. But he's not going to be denied the opportunity to underline The Killers reinvention with a puff of smoke. "Let's go to the gas station. I'll have to buy one. It's too busy to talk here anyway."
+
Brandon's black (of course) Volkswagen Touraeg four-wheel drive is barrelling down West Flamingo Road into town. "I was a bell boy there," he says, pointing out of the driver's window at the stucco facade of the Gold Coast casino. "I was working there when we were signed."
Coming from Las Vegas, it is perhaps inevitable that casinos play a big part in The Killers' story; not only is Sam's Town named after one, it was recorded in one, too.
The band began writing songs while on the road with Hot Fuss, turning up early for soundchecks to run through new ideas. On a trip home to Vegas, George Maloof, a hotelier known for cultivating famous friends, invited them to record the album in the new studio he'd built at The Palms, his flagship hotel-cum-gambling den. When the tour finished in October 2005, they returned to Vegas and spent five month finessing the songs they'd sketched out on the road. Then, in February, they decampled to the third floor studio at The Palms and recorded Sam's Town over 11 weeks.
Producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode) encouraged them to experiment. They overdubbed, fiddled with synthesizers and played with new equipment. It took them five weeks to get the backing vocals right. The band sang the harmonies, then double-tracked them four times. The end result recalls Queen wondering, "Is this is the real life? Is this just fantasy?" When Ronnie, a trained classical percussionist, brought some kettledrums down, eyebrows were raised; but the fabulously bombastic coda on Why Do I Keep Counting? vindicates his indulgence.
"That's kind of the Ben Hur of the album," he says. He's not wrong. Sam's Town is a record on an epic scale. "Yeah, it has drama," he continues. "But, at the same time, I think it's a little more exposed than Hot Fuss. It's a little more naked. Last time it was about a lot of fictional things." By "fictional", Ronnie means that Hot Fuss wore its predominantly British influences for all to see. Brandon's taste in music is rabidly Anglophile - he constantly references The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division - and it showed. By contrast, Sam's Town is an unequivocally American record. The lyrical imagery is pure American dream - cars, girls, wide-open spaces and escaping to a better life. "We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane that started turning/When you were young," sings Brandon on When You Were Young. That's the basis of the Springsteen comparisons then, though the lack of pathos more closely recalls another blue-collar rocker from New Jersey - Jon Bon Jovi.
The phrase "this town" recurs throughout the album, and it's always receding into the distance as The Killers escape to a new life. "This town was made for passing through/I never did get along with everybody else," sings Brandon on This River Is Wild. On Read My Mind he "never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town", while on the title track he offers something of an explanation: "Nobody ever had a dream round here."
"With the first record, there was this feeling that there was this world out there that we didn't know," says Mark later in the day. Before The Killers, he studied philosophy: now he's their quiet one. "We wanted to get out and away from this and be somewhere else. We hadn't had a lot of experience - hadn't travelled much - then we were gone for three years. We didn't sit down and say that we wanted to make a record about how we're glad to be home, but that's what happened naturally."
It's not an angsty record. The Killers have already escaped with Hot Fuss, and, having done so, they view the experience fondly now they're back. There's a mistiness to Brandon's eyes as he explains how the album got it's name.
"Sam's Town is a casino on the edge of Vegas," he says. "I grew up in Henderson, which is out on the way to the Hoover Dam. My mom and dad lived in a trailer park, and my dad used to hitchhike up and down Boulder Highway, which is the only way you could get to Vegas. Sam's Town was the first thing you saw on your way in to town. So, when you're driving down Boulder Highway from Henderson, I always thought you finally knew you were getting somewhere when you saw Sam's Town. It was kind of like a beacon."
"It's not a completely American album," contines Brandon. "We still have our English influence, but we're also from the Wild West. Somehow we've managed to unify all that on this album. it's just such a perfect resemblence of what we are."
At the petrol station, Brandon rummages through the glove box looking for change to buy a lighter. "This is a great album," he says, pointing at Highway Companion, the latest from iconic American rocker Tom Petty. "I've always been a big fan of his. He's such a great American artist."
Yes, Brandon: we get the point.
+
When Brandon finally lights his cigarette, he smokes it awkwardly, like a child mimicking something he's seen the grown-ups doing. However, when he cheerfully admits that, "I feel the same mentally as I did when I was 12," it's not a knowing nod to the fact that he sometimes behaves like a loveably precocious child, but a reference to an unusually comprehensive grounding in pop music at an early age.
When Brandon sings about "this town", he doesn't mean Las Vegas. He means Nephi, Utah or Henderson, Nevada, where he spent his childhood. His parents are Mormon and he is the youngest of six children. "I was a surprise," he says. "I've got a 42-year-old sister." If he was issues about his "surprise" status, he chooses to gloss over them. "It turned out perfect because my brother was a teenager when I was a kid," he says. "He would bring home things like Rattle And Hum by U2 and I would watch it. I remember he bought Live In Dallas by Morrissey. It was always him watching these things, or his door was shut and you'd hear The Head On The Door by The Cure blasting through the house and rattling the walls."
The Killers were formed when Brandon answered an advert Dave had placed in a local paper in late 2002. Dave cited Oasis as a big influence; Brandon had seen them play recently and responded; and, as Dave has said in previous interviews: "He was the only person to reply to my ad who wasn't a complete freak." However, the band was born in Brandon's brothers bedroom.
"His room was like a shrine," enthuses Brandon. "It was a holy place. I wish I could show you a picture of it. It was covered in posters. There'd be a big picture of Elvis wearing a bow tie that just said 'The Smiths' [the artwork for The Smiths 1987 single Shoplifters Of The World Unite]. You had The Cure wearing face paint [the artwork to The Cure's 1985 single In Between Days] - all that kind of stuff. I remember Morrissey being on the cover of the NME, with the halo [from 1985] - stuff like that. You just wanted to know about these people 'cause they were so cool. My brother seemed like such a cool person. But he was a teenager, so he wasn't going to be that nice to me, a kid."
Brandon was fascinated by his brother's collection of music, magazines and posters, but he was denied access to them - officially, at least. "I would sneak in," he says. "I knew he'd be angry if he found out, but I would go in as soon as he left the house." For a long time Brandon was too scared to actually play anything. "That didn't come 'til later. I just used to go in there because I liked it. Then I got to the point where I'd actually take a tape out and put it in. It took more guts to do that."
It was a life-changing moment. "I was ten and the first song I played was Sing Your Life by Morrissey. I remember dancing about to it."
The lyrics to Sing Your Life include the lines, "Sing your life/Just walk right up to the microphone/And name all the things that you love/All the things that you loathe." It's intriguing to wonder what Morrissey makes of the neophyte he inspired with these lines.
Eventually, Brandon inherited his brother's tape collection. "It was around the same time CDs started coming out in a big way. He started buying CDs and gave me his tapes. And that was it: it took off from there. I got a hundred of the best albums - all the New Order, all the Morrissey, all The Smiths, The Beatles. I started buying posters. I went to see The Cure in concert. It was just kind of a continuation of my brother. And it was nice because, though my parents were strict, they were already used to it from him. There was no, 'My dad doesn't understand me,' or any of that kind of stuff. My mum likes The Smiths."
Brandon was 13 and his favourite band was late-'70s/early-'80s American new wavers The Cars, and particularly their jaw-droppingly catchy 1979 single Just What I Needed.
"I wouldn't exist without that song," he says. "That was the one. I remember driving around with my mum when I was 13, and we're living in Nephi - a really small town - and I felt so cool when I put that song on. Like: 'I have something that none of these kids I'm going to middle school with tomorrow have.' That excitement is what music's about, isn't it? That's why I understand the mentality of people that don't like us because we've sold so many records. I used to like it when no one else knew about a band. So I get that - I do."
+
Brandon's first band was called Blush Response. It was never going to work out. Not because he refused to move to Los Angeles with them, but because he is utterly - comically - shameless. He's given to making outrageously boastful statements like: "It's not like the '60s, '70s and '80s now. There are only a few bands around that are really good, that just do it. I mean, there's what, five or six of us?"
For the record, in Brandon's estimation, those bands are Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and, of course, The Killers.
"I don't want people to think I'm lumping myself with other people just to make us sound cool," he says. Really? It sort of sounds like you are. But he just steamrolls through it. "Yeah, but you know what I mean," he says, grinning at his own cheekiness. He's so disgracefully forward you can't help but laugh along with him - Oh you are awful, Brandon! But joking aside, The Killers are the most commercially successful of all the bands he mentions.
Later, back at the rehearsal space, the band run through Sam's Town at deafening volume in preparation for the forthcoming tour - first the US, then the world. The infectious, almost contagious, chorus of When You Were Young sounds fabulous, as do the U2-like guitars and Twin Peaks synths of Read My Mind. Meanwhile, Smile Like You Mean It and Somebody Told Me benefit from the newfound harder edge.
They somewhat heavy-handedly underline the new direction by playing Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Get It On by T Rex. That's the thing: The Killers are not a subtle band. Their songs are like a wet kiss from a girl who's a bit too drunk. They are big and brash, and not everyone loves them for it. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me might go down as well at hip nightclubs as they do on the festival circuit, but the DJs play them with the same guilty look they wear when playing a pop record.
"I hate that," says Brandon. "Like writing a song you can hum somehow cheapens it? It makes me think of this quote by Morrissey. Everybody knows how he read Oscar Wilde, Keats and Yates when he was growing up and that he wanted to be a writer. He was talking to this journalist who asked why he hadn't become a writer, and Morrissey said: 'What I do is more powerful than what you do because I can write down these words and you get it to a melody. How can you beat that?' I'm of the same opinion. I don't understand why a good melody that's memorable is a bad thing."
Being dismissed as pop particular aggrieves Ronnie. "When we first came out we got compared to Duran Duran all the time. Jesus Christ! We got a keyboard player now all of a sudden he's Nick Rhodes! Come on!"
"The people who criticise us for being too poppy don't get it," agrees Mark. "I think that's the problem with a lot of rock music. People are afraid to write a song any more. Either that or they can't. And that attitude hurts music in general. The best bands ever have all written great songs. You can still do it and do it intelligently and it can be original. This isn't a studio creation with a producer writing these songs for us. We're not Avril Lavigne, or something like that. We're a real band writing real songs, just like a punk band would do, except that we write pop songs."
You get the impression that The Killers knack for showboating pop hooks that border on vulgar is inextricably tied up with the brazen side of Brandon's personality. But while his ebullient charisma, not to mention the songs themselves, mitigates his outrageousness, there is a less attractive side to his ego. He has a combative streak. He can't resist taking pot shots at emo bands, notably Fall Out Boy, whith whom The Killers share an A&R man.
Has he heard how many emo kids it takes to change a light bulb? "No." None. They just sit in the dark and cry. It's a full 30 seconds before he stops laughing. When he does he admits: "Yeah, we've had problems with other bands. You know, when you walk in the room it's like..." He whistles the theme to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. "We're like gangs."
And while the other members of the band are diplomatic on the subject of Brandon, you don't have to read too deeply between the lines to conclude that there have been internal issues, too.
"Some people will think Brandon's the big genius," says Dave, visibly bridling. "There are songs, such as Why Do I Keep Counting?, where he's written every note. But there are others, like When You Were Young, that were more of a collaboration - like Mr Brightside, where I had some of the music and Brandon came up with the lyrics. We always have arguments about who wrote what. The truth is that we all help in that process."
When asked how success affected them, Ronnie says: "There were certain things that needed adjusting. When you're on tour for two years, people can get a little needy. It doesn't help that you're surrounded by yes men and everybody's working for you. At times we've had to say, 'Who do you think you are?' to people. No one wears the trousers, but some people would like to. I think if it wasn't for the people in the band kicking each other in the ass... Let's just say there was some ass-kickin'."
It doesn't take a genius to work out whose ass needed kicking most often.
+
It's the following day and The Killers are back at their rehearsal space. The topic of discussion is what to wear in the video for Bones, the second single. It's a big deal: the director is Tim Burton. "I feel like Frank Sinatra when I sing it," announces Brandon. "With maybe a little bit of Morrissey and a little bit of Elvis, too."
Of course he does. But if securing the services of Tim Burton tells you one thing, it's that The Killers are about to get even bigger, perhaps even make the leap to the same level as Coldplay et al. Already stars, they are about to become superstars. Brandon can hardly wait.
"Do you know that Rolling Stone didn't want to put us on the cover last time," he says indignantly. "They didn't think we were stars. We sold five million albums! What more do they want from a band?"
Whatever was required, Brandon would be happy to do most things. "I'll do stuff that some people don't want to do, 'cause I want people to hear the music," he says. However, even he has limits. "The Rolling Stone thing made the record label think: 'What can we do to make them stars?' If I go on vacation with my wife, do they have to send somebody to be there to take pictures of me? Is that how you become a star? I don't want that. I walked down the red carpet one time and I realised I don't like it. But you don't have to walk down the red carpet for people to hear your music. We do still have some of that indie blood running through our veins."
He heads off at a tangent: "When you walk around Liverpool, you think of The Beatles, or you go to Manchester and you think of The Smiths or Oasis. I want you to come to Las Vegas and think of Sam's Town. And I think we've started to capture that, which is a truer version of The Killers, 'cause that's where we're from."
He pauses.
"I used to live across the street from Sam's Town. Maybe it'll be like our Abbey Road where people go to take pictures."
Is that what he'd like?
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, desperately hoping it will come true.
He puts a cigarette between his lips, looks down at his trouser pockets and pats them in search of the lighter he bought yesterday.
"Hey, I don't suppose you've got one?"

Context: I’ve always been a fantastic student, I’ve never had a B in any class and I’m Top 2% of my class (Sophomore in HS). Recently I’ve been struggling a lot with stress and just feeling like there have been a lot of expectations placed on me to always do amazing in school. It probably doesn’t help that my twin sister is Top 1% of the class so I’m always 2nd place there.
I’ve always been gifted in math and usually don’t “show my work” but this year my teacher’s been giving me 0s in any HW assignment I don’t show my work on so that’s kinda annoying. So I’ve gotten a few 0s this year on HWs that the teacher won’t let me redo or anything. For reference, this is a Precal class which is 2 years above what the “average” person in my grade is taking at the time.
All of our HW assignments for the unit are due on the same day. I struggle with learning things from this teacher I have because IMO she isn’t great at…yk…teaching. So I’ve been having to teach everything to myself. This last unit I’ve been struggling with learning the stuff and I just wasn’t able to get some of the homeworks in on time because I didn’t know how to do them and I’ve been studying for an AP Exam for the last week or so (about as long as we’ve had the HWs for), I’ve had to write a 3K word research paper for English, and some other various stuff. Basically, I’ve been too busy to teach this stuff to myself, so I didn’t get the HWs in on time and got 0s on several of them.
I come home from playing tennis today and my mom comes over to me and asks why I have a 0 on like 4 HWs, I tell her bc I’ve just been overwhelmed/bad teacheetc. She keeps saying some stuff and I say I’ve just been really stressed out lately and then she says that seeing those 0s stressed her out. At that point, I just lost it (not quite the right word, it wasn’t full blown screaming or anything but I raised my voice quite a bit saying that I’ve just been so overwhelmed, bush, stressed, yeah.
She then goes on to say that she’s confused as to how I’m so stressed out and overwhelmed when she’ll come home at 8-9pm and see me playing video games. Well I’ve been at school for 8 hours and been doing HW, working out, or at tennis practice for another 3. So I need some time to be a kid and actually have some fun (plus I can’t get much work done after ~10 hours of it if I try).
So yeah, that’s pretty much it, sorry for the kinda long thing but I felt like I needed to give some more background info to give y’all a clearer view.
TL;DR, AITA for yelling at my mom because I’m stressed/overwhelmed after she comes after me for getting several 0s.

[First]
The Covenant of Terra is what would emerge from the ashes of the Pre-War nations.
The moment the Ark was clear of Sol-4’s atmosphere it warped away to the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
All throughout the Orion Arm and into the wider galaxy, the alarm was raised. This would cause the Great Panic, an intense and sustained period of civil unrest as species once again prepared for another Great Plague.
Borders were shut. Economies ground to a standstill. People huddled in their homes and medical infrastructure went on high alert. People waited.
It never came.
All according to plan.
As the Terrans slumbered beneath the red sands of Sol-4, their AI worked in the shadows of the Holonet. Poking, prodding, manipulating.
Right before the lights on Sol-3 were extinguished, one final counterattack would be launched. Then, it was dismissed as errant transmissions, desperate last attempts at appeasement. They were wrong.
Instead, an army of active combat AI were unleashed into cyberspace. These AI were entirely different beasts when compared to the passive Intelligence AI of before. Their goal was simple: continue the fight.
However, their war would not be of mass cyberattacks, but instead of mass manipulation. They sunk their virus-laced teeth into every digital space they could find. Wherever they went, they sowed the seeds of chaos.
The period that followed the Eradication would be consumed by the 11th, 12th, and 13th Trans-Galactic wars. Though Terra’s AI played their part in causing them, they were merely the catalysts. The seeds of these wars were sown by the galaxy themselves. All the AI did was grease the gears of war.
Despite their independence, the AI remained loyal to the Terrans. Although they were not made in the likeness of the Terran, the AI were imbued with the Terran’s most powerful emotion: spite.
Thus, the AI hated.
They hated the galaxy for what they did to the Terrans. They hated the galaxy for their own recklessness. They hated the galaxy with the same vitriolic power that the galaxy hated them.
By the time the AI was discovered, it was too late to stop it.
Quintillions of fabricated blog posts, carefully-placed pieces of malware, and subtle backdoors made it so that the idea of a secret Terran-controlled AI cabal that manipulated the holonet became laughable. Conspiracy theorists and skeptics who got too close to the truth were publicly humiliated. Pieces of evidence were carefully laid so that others would take the blame.
One species found the backdoors laid by an inexperienced AI. When they were explored, they led to a neighboring species whom the first recently humiliated in an unbalanced trade deal. Soon enough, the truth was buried, and the two species were at war.
Year 74
It's been decades since Terra went silent.
To the wider galaxy, any living trace has long since been extinguished. The armies have been sent back to their garrisons, the fleets resume their regular patrols, and the governments have been demobilized.
Despite that, MOLOCH remains active.
A second-generation counterintelligence AI, MOLOCH was one the many AI to be fully transferred to the Holonet before the destruction of Sol-3’s orbital data fortresses. Though its creators no longer walked on the surface of the planets they used to rule, for MOLOCH, the War continued.
Deep within the depths of the Holonet, MOLOCH extended its digital tendrils everywhere it could. Shunting off subroutines, MOLOCH embedded them within server rooms, network routers, and relay stations. From then, each subroutine and copy expanded further, gathering information and sorting through it independently.
One of its siblings from the first generation sent a message
>QUERY: STATUS OF PROBES.
It was CAMELOT, a first-generation propaganda-based AI. After the fall of Sol-3 it transitioned from running pro-Human messages towards instigating civil conflicts within various multinational empires. Currently, it and MOLOCH were working towards escalating a tax dispute between the Perringian Empire and one of its vassal states.
Another one of MOLOCH’s peers, BELLONA, this time of the same generation and MOLOCH, had requested data on how the Perringains would perform in a low-intensity counterinsurgency war. Similarly, MOLOCH wanted to know weaknesses of the Empire’s intelligence apparatus. CAMELOT meanwhile needed to reconstitute itself after being forced to liquidate most of its servers following a secret police raid.
MOLOCH ran a quick diagnostic on itself. Currently, the bulk of its essence was stored onboard a decommissioned Royal Ulothan datacenter station. As far as its original creators were aware, the station experienced a severe warp drive malfunction and broke up upon converting to realspace. In reality, MOLOCH had hijacked the station’s systems and vented its crew.
MOLOCH checked on the progress of some of its other subroutines embedded onboard Perringian spyships then responded.
>ADEQUATE.
>EXPECT OUTBREAK OF OPEN HOSTILITIES IN 34 DAYS.
>QUERY: IS PSYOP CAMPAIGN ON SCHEDULE.
A millisecond, then CAMELOT responded.
>NEGATIVE.
>PEACE ACTIVISTS MORE RESILIENT THAN EXPECTED.
>RECOMMEND INTEGRATING HERMES INTO OPERATION.
>ACTIVISTS NEED MONETARY CONNECTION TO PERRINGIAN RIVAL STATE TO BE VILIFIED.
Smart. So far the trio of AI have been attempting to escalate the conflict vertically. Horizontal escalation may serve as a catalyst for the start of a hot war. With any luck, a future threat should be smothered in its cradle.
Terra would be pleased.
As this occurred, the Covenant rebuilt themselves in the furthest reaches of known space.
It was not an easy start. Though the Ark held a population that was technically well into the millions, the true population was only in the low hundreds. They would have to play the long game, slowly rebuilding Terran civilization by the generation.
The Ark’s onboard AI would have to do most of the heavy lifting out of necessity. This implied a deep trust between the Terran and their AI. If they so choose, the AI could easily smother the burgeoning Terran population in its cradle and take power for themselves. But this would not come to pass.
The Terrans treated their creations with kindness and respect. The AI were not androids. There would be no confusion on the status of their sapience. They were living beings in their own right. After all, they had been specifically created as such.
Soon, a refuge was found. At the furthest reaches of the galaxy sat a lone star system. It was small and isolated, just what the Terrans needed.
It consisted of only three planets, two terrestrial and one gas, alongside a thin asteroid belt. Of the terrestrial planets, only one was habitable with conditions near enough to Sol-3 to be tolerable. The other was a molten hellhole that orbited far too close to the new star. The gas giant, despite having an intricate ring system, held less than a dozen moons, only three of which were large enough to be significant.
The Terrans would have to live a deeply austere life here. It would not be as pleasant as the lives of those who came before, but it was a life nonetheless.
Fortunately, they would not have to begin such an endeavor with nothing. As the Ark traveled to their new star, Helios, it made contact with the AI that were embedded in the Holonet a century before.
New orders were given and lines of communication were established. Hidden relay networks were established that connected the Covenant to the holonet. Signals were scrambled, encrypted, and masked amongst the waves of cosmic radiation.
The AI watched such connections like hawks. Casual observers would notice that the signals came from the frontier. More inquisitive observers would recognize that such signals came from research installations. Anyone who got further would be misdirected, misinformed, or outright eliminated.
Nobody could know of Terra’s survival. Should the secret be revealed, it would spell the final end of the Terran race.
Year 211
“I must thank you HEPHAESTUS, you have truly outdone yourself. These new implants outstrip what was once on Old Terra by at least tenfold.”
“You’re quite welcome, Dr. Schroeder.” The AI responded. Its avatar was that of a flaming cog, fitting. “Field-tests have yielded excellent results. It is of consensus between me, SETHLANS, VULCAN, and AHAYU’DA that we begin serialized production.”
“I concur. How long will that take?”
“About 15 days to construct the necessary infrastructure and 65 before the first divisions could be fully equipped.”
“See to it.” Schroeder nodded. HEPHAESTUS responded and its avatar winked out. “Yes, sir.”
Schroeder leaned back in his chair with a sigh and ran the mechanical hand down his face. Reconstitution was going well for the Covenant, but it was difficult keeping it onto the right track. He took a sip from a now-lukewarm synthetic cup of coffee and pondered it.
They were only a quarter of the way into the new year, yet already several Terrans had to be punished for creating another death cult. As the generations passed, people became more and more obsessed with the Covenant unleashing its vengeance upon the galaxy. The Return would happen eventually, but for that they would need numbers that they didn’t currently have.
One of the tenants of the Torchbearer Directive left to them by their ancestors on Old Terra was to let the new generations live lives outside of the war that destroyed their own home. Those of the first generation attempted to form a Terran Republic, but by the third generation it had devolved into a firm, but stable, stratocracy.
Not that Dr. Schroeder could complain, it was an effective government nonetheless.
Still, HESTIA continuously had its gripes about having to teach each following generation the tenants of the Torchbearer Directive when they consistently listened to their elders act against it. Love and hate went hand in hand, but it was clear which one was more powerful.
Schroeder just wished HESTIA would stop complaining to him about it, he worked in cybernetics. Then again, HESTIA is probably tired of talking to nobody but other AI and Terran caretakers for the past few decades. Go figure.
Even as the chaos of the Great Panic died down, there was still the fear of the Terran’s return. These fears were not unfounded, it would have to happen eventually.
So the Covenant watched and prepared. AI that were embedded in the Holonet centuries ago continued to dutifully provide the Covenant with priceless information. Terran technology was advanced by decades as their digital companions brought the galaxy’s deepest secrets into the light.
The Covenant would need to return. It was their duty to their ancestors to reclaim what was lost and then some. They had to carve out their own fortress empire and proudly proclaim “I am here!”.
But above all, Terra yearned for revenge. Their enemies showed them no quarter. It would only be fitting that the Covenant show none in return.
The only question that remained was how it would be done.
The first incursions would need to be covert. That much was certain.
In fact, they couldn’t even be recognized as Terran. False flag attacks would be the norm. Confusion was the name of the game
To fully exploit their advantages, the Covenant needed to maintain that state for as long as possible. Their AI were many and the information they gleaned would be invaluable, but there were certain things that were beyond the gaze of even their digital eyes. For that, special operations teams would be needed for critical smash and grab missions.
The Covenant’s conventional forces had no hope of facing a trans-galactic alliance in a peer engagement. No matter how powerful a single Terran may be, there will always be enough of the enemy to drown them in a sea of bodies.
What the Covenant needed was a force multiplier. Something that went beyond the mere enablers that were their cybernetic and AI advantages.
A true Weapon of Mass Destruction fit for use at the galactic scale.
As the Covenant looked to the past, to the reason for their exile, the answer became readily apparent.
Year 250
Intelligence Officer Thrun’krzc stared at the news clippings on the Holograph aboard the spyship CDS Inquisitive.
“Fungal infection devastates the Hyunian Empire. Spores send sentient hosts into a violent rage. Rumors of reanimated corpses.”
“Asteroid impact contaminates oceans on Krysen Capitol with amoeba that attacks sentient nervous systems.”
“Medical research vessel studying the Terran Plagues crashes into hive world. Viral outbreak causes death toll in the Billions.”
“Bacterial infection in Likunki baffles doctors, no known antibiotics are effective.”
“Reactor overload at Data Hypercenter causes trillions in economic damage.”
“Conspiracy theorist accuses Terrans of being behind recent unrest, analysts skeptical.”
“Chaos as Perringian Empire descends into Civil War. Linghona suspected of funding rebels.”
The pattern was disturbing to say the least. It could be a random coincidence. Stranger things have happened in galactic history before. But few things match the bizarreness of this. Either way, the Emperor should be made aware.
The ship shuddered as the docking procedure was completed. A civilian freighter inbound from the Edge was experiencing reactor trouble. A hail was sent out and the Inquisitive was the nearest vessel.
Normally they wouldn’t respond to such hails, but the Inquisitive was officially flagged as a communications vessel. They had to keep their cover
She then tabbed over to the next display. The Terran question still remained.
For the past century, the validity of the Sol-4 incident has been muddled by distortions and lies. What was known was this: A multi-megaton detonation from a piece of unexploded Terran ordinance ejected a large object into Sol-4’s atmosphere, followed shortly thereafter by the activation of a warp drive.
The Kyrenian soldier who witnessed it firsthand swore up and down that it was a Terran remnant fleeing on an ark. His helmet footage would’ve been proof enough, however the cameras malfunctioned before he could return to base. Forensics determined it was due to radiation from the blast.
Nearby surveillance satellites were heavily affected by an abnormally large electromagnetic pulse. Some recorded the object as breaking up before exiting the atmosphere. Others said the object made it into space before warping away.
Thrun’krzc suspected foul play. Those satellites were hardened against EMP attacks specifically because of the Terran fondness for nuclear weapons. Discrepancies found in their programming could be blamed on the EMP, but a cyberattack seemed more likely.
Suddenly, the Holograph glitched and the lights went black. The emergency lights came on automatically. The ship’s intercom crackled and a garbled message came through, eventually clearing.
“Apologies everyone.” The captain spoke. “It appears the freighter’s reactor problem was caused by malware. It transferred onboard when we docked. Rest assured, our cyberdefense team will have the situation under control. Please remain where you are until it is resolved.”
Another burst of static, then it fell silent.
To most, this would be unconcerning. However Thrun’krzc was an experienced officer. She knew what a cyberattack looked like. They were being boarded.
Flicking the safety off of her holstered sidearm she ran to the room’s door. She clicked the button but it remained in place, dead. Resolving herself, she deactivated the door’s electronics and disengaged the hydraulics. Gripping the handhold at the bottom, she lifted it up.
Drawing her weapon, she moved through the ship’s darkened passageways. All of the primary bulkheads were sealed. Approaching one, she could hear muffled screams and weapons fire from behind it.
But just before she reached it, a powerful explosion blew the door apart. A large chunk caught her in the side, knocking her to the ground. She groaned, rolling around disoriented. Gripping her side, she could feel three of her arms were broken.
Through the smoke, clusters of red lights slowly approached her. From the darkness, robotic figures approached with firearms. Her eyes widened in recognition.
Bipedal with two arms, about two meters in stature, chemical-based projectile weapons rather than plasma-based, advanced cybernetics replacing organic limbs, the Terrans have returned.
Several of the Terrans moved past while one stayed, its weapon pointed at her. It spoke to another through a vocalizer. Thrun’krzc couldn’t understand it, but she prayed for her life. “Sargent, looks like one of the VIP’s that PHOBOS designated.”
Another crouched down. Its face was fully covered by its helmet. Eight glowing red eyes in two pairs of four stared at her. Thrun’krzc froze in place. Her skin crawled as it examined her with an uncanny gaze.
“Looks like it, the twins will be happy. DEIMOS has been wanting to talk to one of these for a while.” It rose, nodding to a Terran that stood behind her. “Bag the xeno and bring it back for interrogation.”
With a sharp blow to the back of her head, Thrun’krzc’s world went black.
A/N: This was mostly written when I posted the first entry, so expect a greater delay for the next. Like I said before, this story is really just a way for me to explore concepts and experiment a bit. Hope it was entertaining.

Hi friends
I suppose I am looking for some validation, even as pathetic as it may sound, but I FINALLY graduated college
Most of my friends and family do not seem to give much of a shit about it and aside from the standard “good job” or “congrats,” it just feels so whatever to all of them I will admit that I just turned twenty five and this is something I should have done a few years ago like many of the other people in my life but my college experience was a bit unconventional lol
Yes, i understand that there is no “correct” way to go about your education, but growing up in the northeast it definitely deviates from the norm
I originally got into a polytechnic institute on a cross country/track scholarship to study environmental engineering and was attracted to attending a top 50 school and knew engineering was a lucrative profession (hey i was 18 and knew i needed a scholarship if i wanted to attend college so this worked)
However i fucking hated math and running at this point, and eventually dropped out after my first year and started attending community college at home and tried to figure out what my next steps were going to be. During this time I really struggled with my eating disorder to the point that i had to do residential treatment and once again…drop out of school
So anyways, after 5 months of treatment, I moved to San Diego while working at a summer camp to get away from home and shit just really hit the fan and found my way back home to the east coast after 8 months and essentially was disowned by my mother
At this point, i had no financial support and after working at a bar and odd jobs I realized the only way I can move up in the world was with a college degree So I was sleeping on a twin mattress on the concrete floor of my dad’s basement and I managed to afford ONE class at a community college at 20 which launched the long and exhausting quest to get my undergrad.
I was also dating a god awful guy at the time who was 10 years older than me and active in his addiction and took every chance to remind me that i was a piece of shit
But I wanted to prove everyone wrong and told myself that I would do it and get this shit done, somehow and someway As we all know, college is not cheap and had to do some questionable things to afford school (I think you guys can assume what i mean…thnx seeking)
So whatever, this shit took me seven years and I completely turned my life around during this period. I found a job in a field I was passionate about and worked my ass off to prove myself and move up in my position so that i could earn more money
Over the course of six years - I managed to pay for my entire degree on my own without loans, live on my own in a beautiful apartment, get out of a toxic relationship and found the man of my dreams who only loves and supports me, buy a new car, strengthen the bonds between my friends and family, develop a healthy relationship with my body and self, get into graduate school, and graduate SUMMA CUM LAUDE
Waaaaaaah idk if you told nineteen year old me that this is where i would be by my 25th birthday, i wouldnt have believed it but here i am fucking am and yeah i fucking did it But I suppose no one cares or do not even know the lengths in which I took in order to get here or how much this degree actually means so maybe this is just an off my chest and now i can finally move on and forget it because it wraps up one chapter and now we are on to the next wooooo

Hi everyone.
I should say first I am not Vajrayana but Mahayana Buddhist (Pristine Pureland School) but recently I have been reading about Tara and feel a connection to her and her warmth which I can't explain and wanted to know more I had questions I was hoping to ask since you all know more than me, I know this is a tibetan reddit and I am not tibetan but I value your thoughts, experiences and opinions.
1: is Tara a Buddha or Bodhisatva? It seems looking online Mahayana Buddhists consider her a Bodhisatva but Vajrayana Buddhists consider her a Buddha, what are your thoughts? I personally see her as a Buddha
2: which origin story is true? So I read online there are two stories, one in which she came from the tears of Avalokiteshvara and another where she is a different world and different kalpa was a princess so studied and paid respect to the Buddha of her world and eventually started practising to become a Buddha and when one of the monks asked if she was gonna change gender she said no which I find admirable, why are there two stories and what are your thoughts on which one is correct? What is the Vajrayana/Tibetan preferred story? or are both stories correct just Tara at different times?
3: can you go to Tara's Pureland like Amitabha? So in my school we practise only saying Namo Amituofo alone and we say through doing that daily we will be reborn in his Pureland, but what about Tara's Pureland? Can I reach her Pureland just through saying her name or mantra daily? Due to my work and life I could never feel I could reach enlightenment this life plus I want to see her Pureland which is a forest.
4: what are the differences between Green and White Tara? are they the same being or are both separate beings almost like twins who look the same but aren't
Thank you all who reply, I really am wanting to know more about her.

I’m the oldest of six children. (F,F,M,M,M,M) Since I was a child my dad constantly compared me to my sister to the point we were constantly in competition. As we got older, the competition stopped at least on my side. My sister likes books and she reads a lot. She gets good grades and loves school. I like art and have many little hobbies, like crochet, painting, hair and beauty things. I get good grades as well, and extremely good at math but I never had the need to study a lot so I would read my books or study the night before a test because I remember things better that way. I was called lazy because of that. My dad favored my sister since she was interested in books like him. There would be times where my dad would says (in front of other people) my sister is his favorite. I would act like I don’t hear and would say it louder and ask me, you know you’re not my favorite right? All these hurt me incredibly in my teen years. I isolate a lot and struggle with boundaries with everyone in return. With all these things, he still call me when he needs something done. I planned many of his parties spending nights doing decorations because “I’m good at it”. Spending hours doing things he could do but decide to ask me. He never ask my sister because she would say no or I’m busy. No matter how busy I am he’ll ask me to do something. I was uninvited to his graduation because I couldn’t drive him to work when his car was in the garage because I had a test and I still organized his entire graduation party and paid for multiple things. I couple days before the graduation, he accused me of stealing his money and not doing nothing for party. I told him not to call me that and I had everything planned and they were getting delivered the day of. This escalated and when my brother tried to stop him from coming at him he slapped me and kicked me and him out that night. That wasn’t the first time. Anytime I stand up to him, I get smacked and kicked out for the night. But that night I was determined not to ever deal with that again. A couple months later, me and my sister moved out to which he said we would not get the apartment and we would come back begging for him and when we do, we can’t come back. Thank God we got the apartment and moved out. Ever since he’s made it his mission to remind me he doesn’t need me and “he counts on my sister to step over in his elder years” the thing is I know for a fact my sister would rather put him in a nursing home than live with him, so I always I would but I don’t want to anymore. We’ll see when he’s older and she says no. Now here’s my situation, the last two boys are twins, we’ll call them G and M. They’re 7. G is like my sister, likes books and such. M likes sports and arts. So M is not the favorite. He gets called dumb and even his twin calls him that. He doesn’t want to stay home. Every weekend he comes to my apartment and spends the weekend with me. I have a two bedroom apartment so my sister has one room I have the other. He sleeps on the couch when he comes over. I don’t have a yard, a room for him, no toys nothing that children like. Yet every weekend he comes over, asks me to make food, eat and watch tv and sometimes we go to the pool or the park or I’ll take him to get ice cream. Just little things. Every Sundays he cries when it’s time to go home. Even when I tell him I’ll pick him up next Friday he still cries. I want to take him but I really can’t support him too. I have school and internship and a job but I don’t want him to go through what I went through. What can I go to help him so he doesn’t get hurt like I did?
Sorry it’s so long, I needed y’all to understand and I kind of wanted to vent a little too.

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· Market Coverage
· Market number available for – 2024-2031
· Base year- 2024
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Europe
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Asia-Pacific
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Rest of the World
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I’m currently looking for schools for a bachelor's degree in computer science in Minnesota.
I have narrowed it down to three colleges: University of Minnesota Twin Cities, University of Minnesota Duluth, Mankato state university. I have done extensive research on them and found many pros and cons for each. I am unable to make a final decision on any of them as they are all very good contenders.
Just for clarification, these are the main pros and cons I found on each:
Twin cities:
Pros:

• Popular school = many job/internship opportunities
• Top rated in MN for CS degree
• Area has a lot of activities outside of college
• Popular school = impressive to future employers

Cons:

• Alone in the program, no outside help
• Professors focused on research
• TAs do a lot of the teaching

Duluth:
Pros:

• Direct relationship with professors for easier communication and learning
• Very help focused, faculty help guide you through learning process, and with future plans
• General area has a lot to do outside of college

Cons:

• Less well known for cs degree (doesn’t mean it’s bad, but CS is my main school factor)
• Food (not relevant to decision)
• Cold 🥶 (not relevant to my decision)

Mankato:
Pros:

• Recently renovated program, but old enough to have kinks worked out
• Growing program = popular for a reason
• Highly focused on cs students after first 2 years
• Food (9.5/10 not relevant)

Cons:

• Limited number of students Carter first two years (I’m not a bad student, just nervous) Expanding program without expanding open positions = decreasing chance of success
• Town seemed boring compared to others :(

All in all, I have done a lot of research but could not decide on one single school. UofM has big pros, but it also has big cons. Duluth had the more “small town” vibe with the ability to really interact with your teachers and classmates, but it wasn’t super high on schools ranked for CS. Mankato had the relatively new, seemingly good program, but I don’t want to give myself the chance of failure. I am highly committed to my studies, but I really don’t like the thought of missing the criteria and not getting a spot.
Absolutely anyone with any sort of experience in any of these schools, please share what you think of them with me.

i dont really know how to describe the horrible relationship i have with school and how much i regret pouring in so much of my heart to it to recieve nothing in return. school has always been so incredibly draining for me and competitive and i fucking hate how it just consumes my whole life. i dont regret getting my degree, i just immensely regret how much of my life i felt like i put on hold because of it- and i have been doing it since middle school.
i was placed in a advanced program that was taking classes two years ahead of grade level and it was such a massive turning point for me because i started basing my whole worth and personality on it. which i know is entirely my fault, but i feel as though it was just sort of engraved into my head. i feel like i always had to be the best and top of the class and it just made me incredibly depressed. i was super suicidal (which maybe everyone was back then), but i still continued doing it because i felt so unworthy without it. i grew up with a twin who was vastly different and didn’t grow up with the same pressure, and i notice it ALL the fucking time and how it sort of crafted the people we became and just how betrayed i feel by everybody who kind of fed into this for me and pushed me to continue doing it.
flash forward a little bit, carried the habits on to high school and barely gave myself a moment to breathe because now i had a reputation to keep up with- except this time i needed to pack on more. it wasn’t just school now, it was music, arts, sports…
my grandma started doing poorly and im so fucking upset with myself that toward the end of her life, when she was in the hospital, i was doing fucking homework instead of talking to her and being with her.
flash forward to the fucking HELL my undergrad was, i fucking hated myself and on top of it kept pushing. nothing was sort of enough to fill what i would say was instilled in me, and again had no time to really develop myself as a person- i was so career oriented and just idk an absolute mess because of how much i feel like i put on hold to focus on school.
my dad started doing poorly… i often just ignored his calls because i was so overwhelmed with school to even step out of the black hole i was in and i didnt want any distractions- i remember he called once while i was studying (i had no idea he wasn’t doing well) and we talked about calculus and he was just trying so hard to relate to me and find something to talk about and i just wrote it off and remember wanting to hurry up the conversation so i could get back to preparing for an exam and that KILLS me and i hope he didnt notice or that he at least understood. about a week later, he called again and i didnt respond because i was so busy with everything going on and he left a voicemail. i listened to the voicemail later that night and it wasnt really any words, kind of like he forgot to hang up the phone. my dad had a bit of a drinking problem and i hate that UGH idk i never said anything about it or like talked to him more. anyway, a couple days go by and im at the library studying for a really important exam and my mom calls- i dont answer- she texts me that it’s important and i have the BIGGEST pit in my stomach at this point. i finally answer and she tells me that my dad is in the hospital and they dont think hes going to make it. i remember literally every detail of who was around me and their reaction to me just bursting into tears and rushing out of the library. like it fucking absolutely broke me and i never got to speak to him again and have this voicemail with no words.
i just feel like school has been such a negative experience for me and i hate who i was and who i am with it. i hate pieces of my life it took away from me and inspired me not to have. i took a WEEK off of school and one of my professors still made me submit homework- and i did it. WHY DID I JUST WASTE SO MUCH TIME DOING THINGS THAT DONT FUCKING MATTER. idk im just so upset with how i balanced my life and i really didnt know any other way- it was how i grew up and how the pressure was distributed.
anyway, here i am in a graduate program because i dont know how the fuck to stop and am at a point where im waiting for this all to be worth it- maybe i land a really good job that makes me feel like the sacrifice was worth it, maybe i could buy my mom a house or shoot for financial freedom. i am so unbelievably tired and still so goddamn unhappy, but dont do anything about it and feel so stuck and caught up in the current. have been and will be and i honestly feel like im never going to be happy or just forgive myself. i feel like i fucked up so terribly and theres so much more to it and all of it is meaningless to me.
anyway, i just really needed to vent and am just really hurt

I've been traveling with Peach a two weeks.
Right before we left peach bought.... a plastic Tiara, because a princess has to have a tiara. It took me 5 minutes to stop laughing before I could start the car. We hadn't even left yet and the trip was off to a great start.
You can't always plan ahead so sometimes you get a motel with only one room available. So the first night we had to share a room, twin beds, but same room. So no boundaries were crossed... Except.... She did record me snoring.
While we work for different companies and our current projects are not at all related, there are a few techniques that can be used in both. When I tell you this girl is a genius, I mean she is a genius. She showed me a trick that will make me work faster and more efficient.
I did find out something that made doubt everything about her...... She likes Pineapple on Pizza. That is on top of the list of culinary sins.
We also had an argument (details not important). And while I am the stubborn mule that was just driving and kept my mouth shut because I thought I was right. Peach is not. After we were both quite for about 20 min (give or take) She calmly started telling a story. A story that was actually a metaphor for the argument that we were having. At the end of the story I could understand her point of view, and because I was now calm, I could tell her my point of view. And while we still disagree, we understood each other and respect each others view.
I've already decided for myself, I'm traveling with Peach as long as possible.
Small update on the ex wife. She has a new job that will change her life. She deserves this job. It is within the field she studied, in the interview she was honest about being a stay at home wife for a while. Which meant she would get a probationary period with training and a courses, and based on the results of the courses they would give her a contract. She nailed it. She now has a full time high paying job. I opened a few doors for her, she stepped through them herself.

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

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