long post ahead! i’m not sure how long it’s been since the breakup, but it’s still fresh out from a few days to a week. i’m 21F, been in countless relationships to situationships & everything in between. i will admit what i’m about to say is so corny, but they were all pretty forgettable. however i know i will remember this one for a long long time.
she (21F) knows my reddit, & she’s also on this sub (to my knowledge), but at this point does it really make a difference whether she sees this or not? i’m going to try to make this short & sweet; i’m dumpee, she’s the dumper. also want to preface this by saying that i am not the victim here, ive done certain things that were the cause of why our relationship ended. to be brief, ive struggled with addiction for a while & i recently relapsed and tried to hide it from her & lie about it. we were talking about going no contact. again, after being in relationship after relationship, no contact is the most painless option to move on from your ex. personally, it would hurt me more (& this is not my ex’s fault at all lol) to stay friends, have to talk to her as just my friend, & potentially (or should i say eventually) see her with someone else, going on dates, etc. i like to stay friends with my exes, so i normally navigate breakups by immediately going no contact for a few months-year & reconnecting from there.
i’ve always sort of struggled with knowing whether my ex really cared or valued the relationship as much as i did. best way i can describe it is, “does she love me because she loves me or does she love me because of the way i love her?” this post is in no way a direct reflection of how she felt about me; i just wanted to provide some context for why i feel so crushed by this.
i told her that id like to go no contact once i go to rehab. she asked if i want no contact forever or once i finish rehab. im trying to be cool about it (boygenius) so i say that whatever she wants is fine. keep in mind, she hasn’t expressed any preferences for no contact, limited contact, friends, etc. so i already felt like she didn’t really care about what happens to us. she says she will let me know when the time comes then follows up with “unless you contact me i’ll assume we’re going no contact moving forward.” as in she will assume that we won’t talk again except if i reach out first.
you can look through my post & comment history so you’ll understand what i mean when i say that i’ve been numbing myself since things ended. i’ve processed it. i’ve accepted that it is what it is. but i can’t say that it is what i wanted or that i wasn’t surprised that it ended when it did & how it did. i have no clue if she’s looked through my reddit. i guess the main takeaway is that im the one who doesn’t care about the breakup, because im talking about hook-ups, one night stands, meaningless sex, radical acceptance, hyper independence, etc. honestly i wrote on those (& this post) for me to somehow grasp the situation, and force myself to move on & keep moving forward. because why would i try to keep lighting a flame that she already blew out? & that’s completely okay. i guess i figured that because she dumped me, she’s waiting for me to move on & stop making her feel bad, so she can be relieved, so i tried to convince myself that “that’s it, what’s done is done, onto the next!” i only have the utmost love & respect for her and im so grateful i got the chance to be in her life for a short time, but ill speak for myself when i say that i have never felt so close to and so intimate with another human being. when things ended, i was angry. not at her, but at myself & at the circumstances. and now? the second i read that text about her not having a preference for whether we stay in contact or never speak again.. the tears finally came out. i haven’t cried once since the breakup. felt like i was invincible. as immature & silly as it is, i wanted to make it seem like i care less because out of my own insecurities, i felt like an inconvenience that prevented her from moving on with her life. but L, you really got me with that one. i surrender, you win. not gonna lie, reading that text stung. it really fucking hurt. just a few weeks ago, i could have never pictured my future without her in it. we were inseparable. we used to laugh about how absurd it would be if we actually broke up one day, and how we were so sure that we’d find our way back to each other someday, regardless of what was happening in our lives.
but guess what? that’s life. sometimes your actions have consequences. and what goes around does actually come right back around. i can attest to that now. i didn’t treat my disease, so of course it grew more & more until i actually picked up drugs again. i chose my addiction over the person i once thought was the love of my life. i cannot blame or hate her in any way at all for potentially never wanting to speak to me again. i cannot begin to imagine the pain ive caused her because i neglected caring for myself. there is no apology that will do it justice, what’s done is done, and now i must sit with the discomfort & pain from my own doing as a result. all i can do now is go to rehab, and more importantly, go to rehab for myself. because i don’t ever want to lose such meaningful relationships that i will never find again in my life, all due to my substance abuse & the person i become when im a slave to a drug.
L, i know this is corny as shit. and i know that you know how sorry i am for how things played out, & how i ruined everything. i am so grateful to have crossed paths with you, and you have no idea what you have done to me & my life. the world needs more people like you. i will spend the rest of my life missing you, and i highly doubt that there will ever come a day where the thought of you doesn’t cross my mind. if i could give you the moon, i would give you the moon (phoebe bridgers). and for the record, i do care. i care so so much. i remember everything. i want you to know that i will always care & if there ever comes a time you need me, you know where to find me. thank you for everything. & thank you for being you.

You've finished all 5 LNs, and want more, well this thread has you covered. This will go over what you can read next.

Official Stuff

• Turn Around and Face Me

Well, you've read the LNs, why not read Turn Around and Face Me, the sequel series, set years after the original? May and Aleah Francois are now teenagers, going to an All-Girls Academy. This series is more lighthearted, and won't have any earth-shattering consequences to it. It's just two dumb teenagers in love with people who aren't interested in them. TAFM is still ongoing, and we should be getting chapter 3 fairly soon.

• I'm in Love With the Villainess manga.

Same story from the LNs, with a lot more detail. Aono Shimo's art takes what is already a great light novel series, and brings it to life in greater detail. There is a lot added on here, helping to make this a wonderful experience. It's currently in the Investigation arc, and runs monthly in Yuri Hime.

• Inori's Skeb Stories.

These are commissioned works she's done, and their canoncity is essentially TBD. Only a handful are translated here, I'm unsure as to where the rest are.

• Manwha....sorta?

Look, I'll be real here, there's no legal way to read it in english, nor any illegal ways. If you're Korean, or read Korean, it's here.

Fanfiction

It's the lifeblood of this community, and there are so many talented writers to share. This one will be broken down into a few different categories, to help direct people towards something they might love.

Alternate Universes.

• Before the Morning Rush, AKA Coffee Loop.

Rae Taylor is a coffee shop barista, who has a crush on a regular customer, named Claire Francois. It's your typical Coffee Shop AU, that was one of the first big fics in the community, and continues to influence AU works. The sequel "A Quiet Cup of Cheer" is very good, and I highly recommend.

• Even in the Next One

"Claire Francois awakens to find herself in Japan, where Rae once lived out her past life. It’s not hard to find her wife once more, and given a second life surely it will be easy to live that one out with Rae once again and help Rae as she had helped her in Bauer. It’s hardly as if Rae will need convincing, right?
Rei Oohashi has had a crush on the icy Francois-san ever since university classes started, she is just so pretty. One would not have expected those feelings to be returned nor to have Francois-san claim they were wives in a previous life. And does Francois-san have no memories from this life either… oh no."
Essentially it's a reverse isekai, with Claire being a fish out of water. And it's full of Persona and Dungeon Meshi references. This has a NSFW companion piece from the lovely brooklynapple, which I will not link here.

• I Fragged the Villainess "American high school student Claire Francois has always risen to the occasion in her every endeavor. Now, however, she's facing perhaps her greatest challenge yet -- a first-person shooter game??? Determined to succeed, she logs in every night only to be thwarted again and again by another player with a rather peculiar gamertag. How will she react when she learns that her mysterious rival is actually another student from her school?"

The same writer also did an ESO Crossover, which I recommend reading!

• "The Queen's New Life"

"Rei "Quinn" Oohashi has a decently normal life. A job she excels at, a bothersome sister, a hobby she is undefeatable at. Things start to change when a blonde-haired fashion designer enters her life."
The story isn't very far along, but the writer is definitely having fun with this one.

• Villainess Calling

"Two trans women with very different backgrounds, and personalities. Claire Francois, is the epitome of elegance and grace, her father a wealthy politician. Beneath the facade of elegance however, lies a painful past, that she fears coming to haunt her. The Violin becoming her means of escaping her world, if only for a moment.
Rae Taylor, is a Punk Rock Bassist, who found solace in the raw energy of punk, channeling her anger and frustration into the pounding rhythms of her bass guitar. Running from her past, she attempts to make a fresh start somewhere much different. Despite the lonely pain she feels, she pushes past it, in an attempt to pretend she's someone she's not: Someone confident, and able to hide the pain from everyone around her.
A chance meeting intertwines their paths, forcing them to confront their painful pasts, and embrace their true selves. Through their shared love of music, a bond is formed, that may just help them both find happiness."
Fully admit, this is a shameless self-promotion. The first few chapters are rough, but if you enjoy punk music, or just want to see what it would be like if Rae and Claire, were trans? You'll enjoy this! This also has a NSFW companion piece which I will not link.

• Steam Punk Loop "We enter an era where technology is advancing. Not many of the common folks are capable of magic. Machines are developed to make their lives easier. The discovery of Steam Power has greatly advanced the lives of the Lower Class, at the displeasure of the Aristocrats. Magic, however, is still regarded as a higher power which most Aristocrats still wield and follow traditions. As technology grows, magic starts to fade as a higher power for the Lower Classes and questions arise, why are they bowing to Aristocrats' Magic when Steam is far greater now? Tensions grow, unrest spreads, how will the growing chaos be stopped?

Rae Taylor is the daughter of the General Store owners who sell all kinds of items and are part of the middle class.
Claire Francois is the daughter of one of the most powerful and influential Aristocrats who has control on most of the trades in the metropolis.
How can two hearts from two worlds meet at a time of uncertainty?"
Easily one of the most creative AU series, it's a fun one!

• From Enemies to Lovers.

"Rae Taylor works for the Lilium Mafia House-one of their best agents, never failed a mission. She is send to the Francois House to act as a spy and eventually eliminate their sole daughter-Claire Francois. However, little did she expect that this mission would not be as easy as she deemed."
Mafia Gays? Say no more, I'm in.

• Half-Outlaw, Half-Villainess

"Four years after the Black Mesa Incident, a gang of Outlaws including former Bureaucrat Orla Maguire and her Physicist Step-Brother, Gustavo Freeman are decimated following a disastrous heist in Panama, scattering them to the wind, and sending Orla adrift to another world, with a blonde noble girl glaring down at her.
Claire Francois must now teach this upstart commoner, who appears to go by Rae Taylor, the proper ways to act in the Kingdom of Bauer, while attempting to truly decipher who she is, why she does what she does, and why she keeps talking about 'Home' as if it were some far away place. Rae, formerly Orla Maguire, must hold out and come up with a plan in the scheming shadows of Bauer if she wants any chance of seeing her old world and family again, all while continuing to work for Claire, and realizing they have a much deeper connection than she initially thought.
Meanwhile in Panama, Dr. Gustavo Freeman is surprised by the arrival of another Noblewoman, facing evidence of string theory, and the ever encroaching threat of the so-called 'Combine' Empire that is now aware of Earth's existence. Time will tell, the currents are swirling... can Outlaws and Nobles truly find redemption?"
Half-Life meets ILTV, in an unexpected crossover!

Canon Divergent

These fics cover stories set within the main universe, but diverge from canon in some way.

• In Search of Spring.

"Claire François is madly in love—and that's a problem.
All the things she once valued now stand in her way. The nobility could never accept her loving a commoner. The church could never accept her loving a woman. Her father would be so disappointed in her. None of that matters to her anymore, not as much as creating a future for herself and Rae Taylor. To do that, they'll first have to survive the coming revolution, and to survive, they'll have to change.
But, maybe, even with the entire world is standing against her and her love, if they can change themselves they'll have a chance to change the world. So that's what they'll have to do—whatever it takes."
It's the top rated Wataoshi fic, and for a reason. It's extremely well written, and there is so much care put into this series.

• A Cleaved Soul

"In which Rae's Soul isn't simply a copy of the Demon Queen's Soul Data, but merely one half of the whole."
This has spoilers for LN5, so I recommend avoiding it, if you're reading this and have yet to complete LN5. In addition, the other has written "Memories of Another World" and "I'm in Love With my Best Friend"

• ILTV- Withering Begonia: Maybe in another life

"An exploration of Rei Oohashi's lives with Claire Francois. Major LN5 spoilers.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” -Anias Nin"

• Head Over Heels

"Claire is accidentally hit with a love spell during magic class and suddenly can't keep her hands off of Rae. Rae doesn't know what to do now that Claire is giving her a taste of her own medicine. How will our heroine overcome this daunting challenge?"
Brooklynapple has also written "a day worth celebrating" a cute Claire birthday piece, and "what we deserve"

• Please Don't Leave Me

"Rae's Duel with Manaria goes wrong
She wakes up back in her old life in Japan
Claire is left alone"
From the author of Eitno, we have a tearjerker, that is excellent.

• Perfectly Flawed

"A collection of short stories concerning Manaria Sousse from "I'm in Love With the Villainess." I recommend reading this after at least reading Volume 2, or after reading the whole story."

• Right Person, Different Status

"Rei wakes up in Revolution like in the original but.... She's royalty?"

• Manaria Murder Mystery

"After becoming Queen, Manaria tasks have piled up. However, something sinister has happened. Someone from her family has been murdered! She has to recruit her friends to help her solve the mystery."

• Black Lilies

" As the dust settles, and the world begins to heal, the once mighty Demon Queen, Rei Oohashi has been defeated. But her story does not end with her defeat, it is only just beginning. Rei has been offered a second chance, a chance to repent for her actions as the Demon Queen. Despite her inability to forgive herself, despite her lingering scars, one person sees through them all: Lilly Lilium.
A girl who despite her own scars, from her time as her father's assassin, wishes for nothing more than to help Rei to heal, even if she's incapable of doing so herself. Together they begin a journey spanning the Kingdom of Bauer, and beyond, whilst battling their own inner turmoil."
Again, shameless self-promotion.

• Lilly Lilium Is Not A Princess!

"After deciding to take another pilgrimage, Lilly finds herself in Melica, where a certain chestnut-haired woman waits."
A fic dedicated to an underrated pairing. It's cute, check it out
I realize I am missing quite a few fics, but it's almost 2AM and I'm tired. Is there a fic you enjoy that should be on the list? Comment and I'll add it! Writing your own and need tips? Comment!

I (36F) have been seeing this man (37M) for right over 2 months. Things have been pretty great. We don’t get to see each other as often as I would like to because he works a full time job and is running his own business. I respect it and really love how ambitious he is so it’s something I can live with.
We see each other no more than once a week but spend plenty of time on the phone in some way (text/call/FT).
Overall, I am very happy where this is going and I think he’s absolutely fantastic. I just have a few things that are bothering me and I need to try to work them out, which led me here.
I have only ever been love bombed by anyone I have ever seen/dated. I have never had a healthy relationship, even including family. After my most recent ex and I broke up 2 years ago, I really spent time trying to work on myself before I ventured back out there.
I finally decided to jump on a dating app and I seen him right away and was immediately interested. Had the app for about 15 minutes before I knew I just wanted to talk to him. It all moved quickly and we met in person and now here we are.
I really enjoy this man and I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend last week. He said he absolutely sees that being a possibility in the future but due to our schedules right now he would prefer to continue at the pace we are now and continue to learn about each other.
Honestly, it stung a little but I also really appreciated how mature his response was and I do agree that it is better to move slower. No need to rush anything since we can only spend limited time together right now.
But now I can’t stop questioning if he is actually into me that much or if I’m so used to being love bombed that this slow pace thing feels like rejection?
At what point do we revisit this? I don’t mind moving slow, but what is a reasonable amount of time to commit to someone? We are already sleeping together so to me, I don’t know if I fully see what the difference would be unless he is still testing the waters with other women.
He also hasn’t mentioned me to anyone he works with, he seems to be very very close to them even on a non work level, but hasn’t mention me yet. The only reason i know this is I dropped him off at work after he dropped of his car and he seemed so anxious about it when I dropped him off. I went to kiss him and again he was weird. I text him later and said “I hope I’m not a secret because I think I’m too good for that”
He responded saying “you are way too great to be secret, but I haven’t mentioned you to them yet.” He said he’s private but when he tells stories about his job, it seems they are close. Should I be offended? Or am I just used to unhealthy men ready to marry me on the second date.
I also question if I just have a ridiculous amount of relationship anxiety and it’s messing up my view. I just need someone else to give me some insight. I don’t talk to my friends about anything other than the surface stuff regarding him because I don’t like when people are too close, their opinions are too tainted by the friendship.
TDLR; I (36f) have been seeing a (37m) for 2 months. Used to being love bombed, is this what healthy feels like or is he not interested.

Back in 2020 as I was interested in Stock Market, I opened a demat account with 5Paisa, as I could not be able to spend much time on it and as I understood stock market really a thing that one must spend a lot of time and patience I asked them to close my demat account, and the agent from their end was too rude and did not close my account, later I had been concentrating on some other things in my life, but the day 5paisa had my details till today I have been getting some kind of phone calls from certain people asking me "are you interested in stock market" when I asked them back how do they get my contact they all like a hive mind simply reply that it is from some registry, I suspect my data is breached from 5paisa since SEBI would not do such thing. But the main question is this, yesterday as I happened to open my old email that I hadn't been using for sometime I found a signifiant amout of emails from nse and BSE and 5Paisa that there is some ICICIPRAMC share in my account and my ledger balance in debit of Rs.47/- , which I don't remember I invested any in that and also 5 paisa demanded me to submit my KYC related documents such as PAN, Aadhar etc as my account was freezed and they need these to close my account, I'm pretty much annoyed with the treatment and safety data standards of 5paisa, now I really don't want to submit any of my sensitive details like PAN, AADHAR with them, please help me to understand, if I am not wrong to close a demat account, are these things really required? Please help, Thank you in advance.

So, my boyfriend and I have been together going on 7 years. Our relationship is pretty normal. We live together. We both work full-time. We have pets. Families. Etc. We rarely fight. But whenever we do…it’s because of his porn consumption. Specifically, his infatuation with red headed white women.
Now, I understand and have no issue with my boyfriend finding other people attractive. That is normal, I don’t really care if he thinks someone is pretty or whatever. But what I DO take issue with…is that on literally ALL of his social medias you could scroll for 10 minutes and see nothing but redheads and inappropriate content. It just makes me very uncomfortable that…that’s what he’s looking at all day? Not to mention I’m not white and definitely not a redhead. I don’t know what to do. It makes me very insecure. He clearly has a type and I do not fit that image. I literally look nothing like these women. If one comes along one day IRL, is he just gonna up and leave me?
I don’t know how to handle this. I confronted him today and he blew his top, saying he doesn’t look at those girls “in that way”. Like, you think I’m stupid or something? Your socials are filled with nothing but the same types of girls with either their ass or tits out. Seems to be a pattern here don’t ya think? Anyway he got really pissed and started yelling, shoving furniture, and denying everything. I don’t know what it is with men who will literally lie through their teeth when the evidence is stacked against them.
Anyway, I’m really at my last straw with this. This has been going on for a while. And the CRAZY part is, even if he unfollows these types of women they will STILL show up in his feeds because these new social media algorithms KNOW what you like and will constantly show it to you based off your viewing behaviors. I’m sick! I can’t just make him not go on social media.
I’ve literally considered dying my hair red 💀 But at the same time I want to tell him to go fuck himself. He is faithful and doesn’t message these women or comment on any of these posts so I don’t feel it’s breakup worthy but it’s definitely causing problems because it’s so disrespectful. What do I do?

Hi. This is an alt account. The first version of this post was so long that it got flagged by automod and I don't feel like typing all that out again but shorter.
I have unstable emotions that can fluctuate between fine and not fine quite sharply, sometimes multiple times in the same day, and it's very exhausting to manage. In order to function in my own life, I have to treat it as a stress meter in a video game and prioritize keeping it low at all costs to avoid having a breakdown. Which is an issue if the thing that's causing me stress isn't easily fixed/escaped from.
I did something I'm deeply ashamed of during a slow spiral into madness and isolation, and it's causing me stress and anxiety and guilt. I just want to move on and forget it, but I can't seem to. My brain won't let it go. Won't let me forget that I'm a bad person who really is unstable and desperate enough for attention that I'd do what I did. I didn't do it on purpose, but I still did it -and it's something that's so shameful that I don't even want to say what specifically I did. Just that my spiral into madness is encased in ice on the internet forever and even my best attempts at cleaning up the mess aren't enough to quell my anxiety that someone could find my secret or figure out my old account on that site is me and ruin my life over it. And I'm ashamed enough of it that the guilt of being a Bad Person TM is eating away at me and making it physically painful to try to get through the day. I'm scared that my support system would think differently of me in a negative way if I told them the full story, and I can't handle the idea of the people I care about being disappointed in me.
I also have to pretend I'm fine because non-immediate family is visiting for a week and I don't want anyone not already close to me to get close enough to see how unstable I am and leave me (even though I know these people wouldn't, I still don't want to be needy and make it about myself when it's supposed to be about them). It's been one day and I feel like exploding. I hate being like this. Even if I get through the week, I still have to get through however long it takes before I either get help for this or something new happens that's distracting enough for my brain to finally drop this.
Getting my stress level down feels impossible when I can't talk about it to feel better and absolve my guilt and it feels like I'm never going to move on from this (even though I just want to move on and I genuinely have better things to do). I'm just exhausted with myself and I wish my emotions were less unstable and less exhausting to keep under control. I strongly suspect a personality disorder but I can't get evaluated until the inconveniently-timed change in doctors gets resolved so I guess I'll just suffer until then. I hate my life

Before you link this in with psychotic illness like my last post relevant to this, I would like to say that I do not have schizophrenia. Please, someone, listen with an open mind because I really need some support, advice on how to live on.
I don't have episodes of delusional thinking and hallucinations in my life history. This happened since March this year. People on the streets talk about me negatively and look at me, like they were expecting me to be there. People in my town seem to all recognize me, knowing my name, despite no news about me. At first, I thought they were just going on about the drama I had last year, gossiping typically, but this month did I realize something unusual was happening around me. The people in my town seem to think about this a lot, or at least in inconvenient timing. They would be chatting about other things before suddenly bringing me into their conversations when the timing was irrelevant and inappropriate. The way strangers in my town look at me, it's like they have paranormal sightings expecting me to be there. I overheard my neighbor say how whenever they think of me I'm around, like a spectre.
Sorry if I'm bad at explaining things.

TW// purging talk
i recently moved back in with old roommates, my bf and i lived here a couple years ago but we had to move back in recently for a transition period after college. im in recovery for bulimia/restrictive eating and gained abt !10! kg in the ~1.5 yrs we've been away, and im happy about where i'm at with my body and with food.
one of my roommates has been very open about her ED since i've known her, its fluctuated throughout the years, but she is now very tiny since i last saw her. last time i was here, it was anorexia. i was suspecting she is now purging, i noticed she rushes to the restroom right after meals and has marks all over her knuckles and has puffy cheeks. but this morning. i woke up to coughing and groans coming from the downstairs restroom. loud coughs, hacking, gagging, for over two hours. and very dramatic, long, loud groans in between retches. it stopped right when her boyfriend woke up and went to go in and see her, which is why i suspect it was drawn out so long. she is known to beg him over the phone to call out of work so he can go home and take care of her, even when there are other ppl in the house who can do the same thing. i talked to my bf about it, and he says he's heard it nearly every morning since we've been here. i guess i've just slept through it and he hasnt mentioned anything bc he's worried about it being a potential trigger.
i understand eating disorders are competitive by nature but, it's very hard not to see her as a mean person separate from that. everyone in the house has tried to give her a chance, but she's burned every bridge every time. she calls people she doesnt like "fat" as an insult, comments on how everyone else fills their clothes compared to her, compares wrist/thigh sizes, and will just make fun of people who are in vulnerable positions. i have confirmed that another roommate has developed bulimia after seeing how thin she's gotten, and she only encouraged it by coaching them on what bodychecking is and furthering their self image issues.
it was so fucking upsetting to listen to this morning. i cant help but feel sad and also really angry about it. my purging sessions used to last 15-30 mins, and i would run the shower, play music, use toilet paper, and try to mask the noise to accommodate not only her, but any potential person in the house that might be triggered. nobody to my knowledge ever knew i had an ED. i never discussed it with anyone. even when she used to talk about her eating disorder when we last lived here, i never chimed in and chose to stay private about it. for reference, she is 21 and i am 23, and i was her age when i was in the depth of my ED. there is no reason you need to be yakking with the bathroom door open, for 2 hours, letting the whole house hear it, just waiting for your bf to come in?
knowing that she does this nearly every morning is super upsetting to me, and i dont know how long i could do it. its already very triggering seeing how tiny she and other roommate has gotten. it doesnt seem to bother anyone else in the house, im guessing theyre all just used to it atp. i'm looking for employment so desperately, but having to worry about waking up to my roommate's 2-hour purging session just to get her boyfriend's attention is really bothering me. im worried that confronting her will just stroke her ego and there will be nothing productive that'll come from it. is it worth it to bring it up to her? idk if im justified in being upset by the situation, or if im being an inconsiderate asshole abt it.

So i’ve been talking to/seeing this girl with bpd for a while now, in the beginning she was obsessed with me and everything was great. Well she did something one night that really hurt my feelings and was a red flag so i blocked her on everything (this was before we loved eachother) to save myself from getting into a toxic relationship, i was half asleep when i did it and when i woke up i unblocked her. She ended up having a psychotic break that was really bad, and ever since then its been downhill. She blames me even though it was her behavior that made me make that decision, and no matter how many times i apologize she cant let it go and move on from it. Then a second time i unadded her on FB when i was really upset, and this one sealed the deal. Ever since then shes been more distant and cold and neglectful every day. At this point shes asking for space, she wont talk about my feelings ever without getting “overwhelmed” or starting a huge fight, but when i ask her if she cares about me and loves me she says yes, even though her actions say thats not true one bit. Also she says she doesnt know if she wants a relationship right now or to be exclusive, when that was the goal and we were exclusive before. Is this saveable? I’ve tried to reassure her that i wont abandon her, reconnect and bond and get her to open up, but it gets worse every day, i dont know why she wont let me go at this point. Should i just end it or just be patient and listen to her feelings? Because the anxiety and stress is becoming overwhelming and its abusive at this point. Or any advice for what i can do to fix things before its too late and she starts seeing other people? I dont want to give up but her behavior is abusive and unacceptable at this point.

I know the obvious answer is to leave, but I don’t know how. For context, my father cheated on my mom when I was young. She never left, and I never learned to hate him. He stopped but never got better for my mom. My father had anger issues and would hit and scream at us when he’s in a bad mood.
I grew up physically abused, as most Asian families do. I have a fear of abandonment to a point where it’s paralyzing. I am the oldest out of 3 and learned quickly to be a pillar, a second mother for my sibling. I love taking care of people.
Me and my boyfriend met when we were 19. He is my first boyfriend, my first love, and who I lost my virginity to. He was the first man to take care of me, he never yelled, he talks to me so softly. He was nice and I fell in love. To be honest, I let a lot of things slide because he was truly loving towards me. I didn’t get lots of great physical touch when I was young, so it was nice that he never hits me. He always kisses and hugs me.
But he would constantly lie, cross my boundaries, and never truly understood me. Yet I still loved him wholeheartedly. I choose to see his good and hoped that he would one day change or that my love will be enough for him to want to change. But he never did. We moved in 4 years ago, and ever since, I did everything for him. I cooked, packed his lunch for work, dropped him off, and picked him up from work when I could. I played games with him. But he would lie, and we would have fights where I sometimes got physical, like pushing him away when he hugged me to calm me down or hitting his chest in frustration. I don’t have an excuse for my reaction.
But he never once told me that he minded, and so I stayed the same. One day, he told me he’s done, out of the blue, and that he needs space. I was confused at first and pestered him to tell me why. He was having trouble at his new job and is generally depressed. He didn’t want to handle our relationship and would like a break. I tried talking to him about helping him and working things out.
He wanted to move out, and I took the initiative and booked and paid for a hotel room for him for one night for him to cool off, and maybe we can talk after, since it has been weeks of this talk.
He came back saying he still needs to move out and be by himself to better himself and come back to me. He promised that if he does, he’ll be a better version of himself.
Today, I found out that he was cheating since months before. That the hotel I paid for with the little savings that I had was for him to sleep with this girl. I found out way later, and when I caught him having phone calls with her, he denied it being romantic.
Today I met the other girl, AZ. AZ told me everything. She was also lied to, she had no idea we were still dating. She told me every detail, how he kissed her and how much he loved kissing her. How much they love each other. How he lied about our relationship and our breakup, how he showed interest in her from the beginning.
He told me it was a mistake, that it was a one-night stand. And all he wanted was to let go of his frustration and play around a bit and will eventually come back to me after the break. That the 7 years was during his young years and that he didn’t explore and that he thought we were getting boring and with AZ, he felt alive again. He said he liked how easy it was, how fun being with AZ is. But he said he knows it was wrong and that he will never forgive himself or ever do it again.
I basically made him quit his job; they’re coworkers, and I stopped them from going further. He asked that we start over in a new country and that we can be better. He said that he doesn’t deserve me and is ready if I would want to let go, but if I would want to work things out, he would change.
I spent all those years not having a backup plan. He was everything for me and was the person I never thought could do this. I truly planned my whole life for him.
Yet after all of this, I can’t shake the feeling that I can’t leave. I want to forgive him and forget this ever happened. But all of you experienced folks, please help me. I don’t know what to do, I’m so lost. Its so hard for me to abandon people. I’m 26f, I feel like dying. Will I even be desirable, and will I even love again, is all men like this? What if I meet one that hits me? Was I loved?
Please, help me.
I’m so sorry this was long, I had no one to talk to. I just hope to get some advice.

I, 23F, have been dating my boyfriend, 23M, for two years. We knew each other for a while before dating and I really do consider him to be my best friend. We haven’t really had big arguments before and I’d consider us to be pretty stable.
Because of some recent events (big life changes, loosing a job, etc.), he has been depressed. I’ve noticed for a while that he didn’t seem like himself. He recently told me he had been feeling down and has not wanted to see anyone. He has still made time for me, but not as often as before. We rarely text or call and see each other maybe twice a week. The logical part of me knows that it is a mental health issue, but the emotional side of me can’t help but think that he is going to leave me.
I am no stranger to depression, BUT we are opposites in the way we cope. He isolates himself and I reach out and desperately cling to people. The isolation is so foreign to me and I have a hard time not taking the distance personally. I am terrified of abandonment and I have let this fear ruin past relationships, so I am trying to be wary of how I behave in response. I’ve noticed that when I am feeling hurt I do not express that in a constructive way. I am snappy and moody when I’m feeling hurt. My BF has called attention to this, basically saying he feels like he upsets me a lot and he wants me to communicate my feelings better. It’s something that I am trying to be conscious of. Instead of getting angry, I try to think about how much I cherish him and WANT this relationship to work.
I have known that I want to live with him for a while. We have talked seriously about moving in together for almost a full year, and have solid plans for finding a place in August. Hopefully, he will have gotten out of this depression (it really seems like finding a job is the main stressor here) and we will be back where we were before.
I absolutely do not think we need to/want to break up. I know I’ve just typed out every problem we have but there are so many good things about this relationship. I am not unhappy in this relationship, but I need to find a way to work on my own reactions to his behavior. I truly see him as my forever person. This is the first time we have reached a rough patch and I want to put in the work to be happy with him. My question: how can I support a person who isolates themselves without disregarding my own needs for closeness? Would moving in together be a mistake?
TLDR; My BF and I are hitting our first rough patch because of his depression. How can I support him emotionally and would moving in together be a mistake?

Hey all!
Very novice player to fighting games here. This is basically the first one I've tried to seriously get into, and despite playing since release I... still very much suck.
Buuuut I'm trying to get better, and I'm looking for some move and matchup advice.
So for a bit of specifics - I'm maining Katalina. So some of my issues are... I don't wanna say "specific to her" but issues I'm having sort of because of her moveset if that makes sense.
So I have three general questions
First; I've been told a lot that when you are standing up after being knocked down it isn't "your turn", but rather the opponents. So if I'm down, it's "their turn", not mine. But the thing is that this seems to be true in MY case, but never my opponents. So let me explain. Any time I get knocked down, if I try to wake up with an attack I'll get hit, combo'd, and end up face down on the floor again. Doesn't matter how fast my attack is. The only exception is if they back off for whatever reason, obviously. However, any time I knock someone down, I'll try to go in with a fast, light attack to try to get in before they can, and 100/100 times they'll bust out some crazy, big, high damage move as they're standing up, somehow beat my timing, and turn the tables. An example (and I'll have questions about him later) is Vane. I was playing against a Vane tonight and when he was waking up, he'd do one of his specials (unsure which specifically. The one where he summons a big pillar of light in front of him) and send me packing, despite me trying to just do the simplest, fastest, lightest of lil baby slapperonies to try to stun. Why is this? What am I doing wrong where it's suddenly not "my turn" when they're getting up, but also not "my turn" when I'm the one getting up? Why are these huge special moves faster than just me tapping light attack?
Second; this one is specific to a character - Belial. I have NO idea how to deal with his parry. He is the character I hate fighting most because his parry stance seems to just happen. I'll be 80% of the way through a light attack, juuuuust about to connect, and then boom - parried. No animation, no start-up frames. He's standing there, I connect, I'm suddenly being pounded into the floor. I know what the animation looks like, and I know how to counter it once it's actually happening. But 90% of the time they can just start it up while I'm already mid attack and I can't do anything about it. Am I just fucking stupid or is this move hilariously busted? What are tips or strategies for dealing with this move in particular?
Third; This is an unfortunate issue of Katalina's moveset. As I said earlier, I was fighting a dude playing Vane tonight and I have no idea how to handle enemies like him and Ferry who have these huge, screen-wide attacks that *aren't* projectiles. Katalina is, unfortunately, a very "up close and personal" character barring her one projectile. So with the case of Vane, he'd basically just do a big, screen-wide swing that I just couldn't counter. If I send a projectile, so long as he starts his swing sometime between the birth of Christ and the dawn of the modern era, he'll hit me and cancel the projectile. If I try to do Katalina's rush special, so long as he starts his swing sometime between the invention of language and the works of Poe, he'll hit me long before I close the gap. And if I just try to dash in, he'll do it, I'll block, and I'll basically be pushed back to where I started - making no progress.
So I guess my question is, how do I deal with non-projectile-based zoners as Kat? Because projectiles are fine. I had a wonderful set against a Zooey tonight and that went incredibly well, because all her zoning is basically "shoot dragonling across screen" or "laser beam that hits 5 feet ahead" instead of "swing that hits from the White House to the Kremlin"

If all the fake business hype and worry over AI has become as annoying to you over how bad it is both done in operation (like bad search results), Teslas running over people, and how hurtful it's gonna be implemented ( in terms of management trying to push out workers they now see as redundant) & while I get the notion that "statistically randomized amalgamations" is probably to much of a mouth full for PR reasons, if we are to concied the term Artificial intelligence to this junk, should we speak on "Artificial Scientience" for things like sci-fi from now on?
Nit picking I know, but if they can't master a self driving car then I want to at least laugh out loud when some dumb corporation shill publicly announces they are entering the "Artificial Scientience Sector" to hype up their stock prices. Being inevitably follow by other compayings jumping on the same train, I want see how may will try to invest and fight for their own "ASS" space.

I know the obvious answer is to leave, but I don’t know how. For context, my father cheated on my mom when I was young. She never left, and I never learned to hate him. He stopped but never got better for my mom. My father had anger issues and would hit and scream at us when he’s in a bad mood.
I grew up physically abused, as most Asian families do. I have a fear of abandonment to a point where it’s paralyzing. I am the oldest out of 3 and learned quickly to be a pillar, a second mother for my sibling. I love taking care of people.
Me and my boyfriend met when we were 19. He is my first boyfriend, my first love, and who I lost my virginity to. He was the first man to take care of me, he never yelled, he talks to me so softly. He was nice and I fell in love. To be honest, I let a lot of things slide because he was truly loving towards me. I didn’t get lots of great physical touch when I was young, so it was nice that he never hits me. He always kisses and hugs me.
But he would constantly lie, cross my boundaries, and never truly understood me. Yet I still loved him wholeheartedly. I choose to see his good and hoped that he would one day change or that my love will be enough for him to want to change. But he never did. We moved in 4 years ago, and ever since, I did everything for him. I cooked, packed his lunch for work, dropped him off, and picked him up from work when I could. I played games with him. But he would lie, and we would have fights where I sometimes got physical, like pushing him away when he hugged me to calm me down or hitting his chest in frustration. I don’t have an excuse for my reaction.
But he never once told me that he minded, and so I stayed the same. One day, he told me he’s done, out of the blue, and that he needs space. I was confused at first and pestered him to tell me why. He was having trouble at his new job and is generally depressed. He didn’t want to handle our relationship and would like a break. I tried talking to him about helping him and working things out.
He wanted to move out, and I took the initiative and booked and paid for a hotel room for him for one night for him to cool off, and maybe we can talk after, since it has been weeks of this talk.
He came back saying he still needs to move out and be by himself to better himself and come back to me. He promised that if he does, he’ll be a better version of himself.
Today, I found out that he was cheating since months before. That the hotel I paid for with the little savings that I had was for him to sleep with this girl. I found out way later, and when I caught him having phone calls with her, he denied it being romantic.
Today I met the other girl, AZ. AZ told me everything. She was also lied to, she had no idea we were still dating. She told me every detail, how he kissed her and how much he loved kissing her. How much they love each other. How he lied about our relationship and our breakup, how he showed interest in her from the beginning.
He told me it was a mistake, that it was a one-night stand. And all he wanted was to let go of his frustration and play around a bit and will eventually come back to me after the break. That the 7 years was during his young years and that he didn’t explore and that he thought we were getting boring and with AZ, he felt alive again. He said he liked how easy it was, how fun being with AZ is. But he said he knows it was wrong and that he will never forgive himself or ever do it again.
I basically made him quit his job; they’re coworkers, and I stopped them from going further. He asked that we start over in a new country and that we can be better. He said that he doesn’t deserve me and is ready if I would want to let go, but if I would want to work things out, he would change.
I spent all those years not having a backup plan. He was everything for me and was the person I never thought could do this. I truly planned my whole life for him.
Yet after all of this, I can’t shake the feeling that I can’t leave. I want to forgive him and forget this ever happened. But all of you experienced folks, please help me. I don’t know what to do, I’m so lost. Its so hard for me to abandon people. I’m 26f, will I even be desirable, and will I even love again, is all men like this? What if I meet one that hits me? Was I loved?
Please, help me.
I’m so sorry this was long, I had no one to talk to. I just hope to get some advice.

This seems to be a pattern with women, at least the ones I meet. And no I don't meet them in any particular place or have any particular type, look, anything. But they all seem to find a way to brag about their sexual past, totally uninvited and totally out of context.
So anyway instead of saying 'my ex was a liar' she led with short sharp sentences before I could cut her off, about the intense sexual connection & being unable to stop from tearing his clothes off, and fucking each other's brains out 3 times a day for 2 years THEN included 'but he was a liar so i had to end it'. This is AFTER having told her on our first date my last relationship partly ended because she kept talking about shit I didn't want to hear about regarding exes / her sexual past.
Like, how does a guy form a new relationship knowing that sort of crap? Every time I date someone they seem to find a way to 'innocently' talk about amazing sex with other people, or sleeping around, how big their exes dick is, etc. Eg my ex went on about sex with black guys and the rumour is true for every single one and painted the picture those guys were a significant part of her sexual history, etc.
And noone believes me. When you post here people say 'most women don't talk like that' well I'll tell you, 3 of the last 4 have and the 4th accidentally(?) told me her ex had the biggest dick she's ever seen... so then somehow it's my fault for choosing the wrong women as if somehow I'm supposed to know normal healthy conversation is going to lead into this bullshit with women who otherwise appear like mature, stable adults in or around their 40s.
We've all had sex before, cool, whatever, but I don't need to hear how I'm directly following the best two sexual years of your life woth some sex god that was so good you stuck around for years with a liar even though you knew he was a liar.
No woman has ever heard a threatening word from me about my exes or past sex life. I've never told anyone about the ex I went 7 times in a day with on my birthday, or how great someone's ass was or that my ex had the tightest one I've ever felt.
Is this normal!?

What a division in this subreddit. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people only have a couple problems with it. And that’s totally normal and fine.
But I will say this. There are a lot of low effort posts being made about the same little issues. And before you say we just don’t like to hear the negative shit, there’s a massive difference between saying “This looks like shit” and actually explaining what you don’t like about it. And if there’s 40 posts about Angela’s face, why are you making another one? Every post like this gets downvoted and every praising post gets upvoted because it’s clear that those people took the time to explain and put effort into what they were trying to say. So we see what the overall sub thinks. Especially in the polls. So the negative comments mean nothing to me. But,
here’s the shit part about this. This franchise is going to die again because of the incredible false negativity that’s going to come from no matter what’s made anymore. A new fan coming to this sub is going to see 100 posts bashing a small part of the game and they're going to miss out on the overall good part. Why would they even want to try the remake after seeing that? Criticism is fine, but there's ways to do it properly. same goes for praise.
I know nothing's going to change and it sucks that we're going to lose this amazing series again.
Anyways, I think I’ll come back when this has all blown over. So long for now brothers and sisters. I hope you find peace.

Hey everyone I’ve been working at petsmart for about 3 years now and I have always been a morning petcare opener. When I first started it was a pretty good job I liked it. We had 3 petcare people a day(morning mid and closer) But for the past year or so my store no longer puts anyone for mid shift. It’s only opening and closing for petcare. Their reasoning is that “we don’t have the hours” which is absolutely ridiculous in my opinion.
So here’s my problem…I used to absolutely work my ass off to make sure and get everything done on the opening method sheet within my 4 1/2 hour shift. But now, since we don’t have a mid, the closers focus more on scrubbing tanks (which I believe is mostly supposed to be a mid task) and also recovering store during their shift that they never clean up for the morning shift. I almost quit on the spot my last shift because there was dirty ornaments in the big sink we use for the morning deep cleans and there is also two days worth of veggies bowls still dirty because no one soaked/clean them, the feeding cart is never stocked and always dirty, most of the betas from the beta water change are left on another cart, no trash bags in any of the trash cans and boxes for all types of shipments just sitting there. Crickets and deadpull are never done either. The list goes on and on. And this is almost an every day thing now. It’s an overall mess and I have to spend about 30 to 45 minutes recovering the back rooms before I can even start doing my first task which is Quiet room.
I truly love most of my managers and I have brought this to their attention but they always say the same crap and never actually do anything about it. I started to see that people were slacking off so much and it irritates my soul cus they expect SO much more of me because I used to have passion for the job. And now that I don’t and slack a bit just like everyone else, one of my managers had the audacity to ask why I DIDNT FINISH MY REPTILE DEEP CLEAN?!?! For the last 3 shifts i haven’t been able to fully finish my DCs (everything for the Dc is clean and ready to be put back) because of my reason above. Like girl I’m still getting some majority of it done.
The reason why she pressed me about it is not because she cares for the animals, no, It’s cus she had to finish the little bit that was left and she didn’t want to because she’s LAZY.
At this point guys idk what to do. I had to get a second job because I live in California. And I now only work about 3 days a week and it still makes me want to pull my hair out every time I go in and see a mess. Would you quit? Btw I make about $18 of that adds anything. Idk I feel so used but I also care about my Petsmart family I have there.

E.g: When you say a photo of a historical document on the web is tangible proof of something, you can't actually know that. You believe it out of trusting certaing things because they make its existence more probable. The curriculum of the researcher who uploaded the photo, the prestige of the website's institution, etc.
Why can't you apply the same process with God? I don't understand how is it more probable that the universe came to be because some space pterodactyl farted out the universe or whatever. With how much many things in the enviroment favor humans, how ordered some some things are, how perfect planet Earth is for life, how smart and adaptable humans are, how humans can appreciate beauty and want to do great things, how every death led us to where we are now, etc. don't you think we have to assume someone designed all this shit? I can't prove it, but isn't it the most probable thing?
Does saying probability is not an argument for his existence mean we can't use probability as an argument for anything's existence ever? Does that mean we're all believers and that believing in dragons is the same as believing in maths?