I filed an amended return for year 2022 on 2/9/2024 (my accountant filed original at the final minute on extension in Oct 2023, and submitted everything wrong, but I got a small refund from that). I filed an amended return in February 2024 for year 2022.
I monitored the IRS processing tax forms month and I see they are now processing Amended returns filed in March 2024, whereas I submitted my amended return February 2024. Theoretically, this means my return should have been processed, since they moved on to March? But Where's My Refund tool still shows Received and N/A N/A for processing status
Transcript has codes 971 and 977 on 2/9/2024, and now I see a code 810 on my transcript dated 5/9/2024, which is exactly 3 months to the day from when I filed.
. I haven't received any letters that I know of. Is this "normal" for amended returns and does 810 freeze mean they just started looking at my amended return on that date? Or should I contact an advocate or the IRS to find out if they are needing something from me?
Thanks!

So obviously I need to watch tutorials but everyone says a lot of different things so I want a variety of opinions not just from influencers trying to make money. Context: I'm 15 and I want to learn how to do box braids to help keep the time I spend doing my hair to maybe 5-10 minutes max. I usually spend at least 30 minutes a day because I do sports so I have to wash it and the twists I do don't last trough the night.
I've watched videos and I think I need some kind of braiding gel, hair oil, and mousse. I want to add some extensions, not a lot cause my hair is to my shoulders but enough to give it some 'volume'? Cause I'd definitely be insecure with squiggly noodles for hair. But is that all I'd need? Should I avoid washing it after practice?(3-4 times a week) If I wash it do I scrub it or just rinse it? Also I'm scared of putting too much tension and ripping my hair out so is knotted or knotless a better option for me?
Also the reason I'm not just going to a professional to get it done is because of time and my mom doesn't want to pay the high prices that hairstylists are requesting for a style that probably won't last me more than 2 weeks because of sports, I do fencing and my head gets really sweaty plus the mask rubs on my hair a lot.

I had bilateral PE two years ago and I’m scared I might have blood clots in the legs but I’m not sure. It started with random pain a couple days ago in both knees and ankles so walking and anything more than that hurts. Now today I felt numbness in my foot occasionally on both sides different times and a cramping feeling began a few hours ago. Started on one side then went away and now I feel it on the other leg. Calf area to be specific. My feet occasionally get tingly and numb feeling. Still painful to walk, about to be day 3 of this. Does anyone know if this could be a blood clot? Or just paranoia?
Nothing out of the ordinary before this, no injuries no extensive physical activity.

I don't understand how I still have Medicaid coverage despite making over the income limit. I live in NC and never spoke to anyone about recertification. I've been receiving letters saying I have coverage, a doctor has been chosen for me, and a plan has been selected.
I qualified for Medicaid last year but never used it because I got a job used my job's health insurance plan.
I thought they went by my income, which they have, I filed taxes each year, and I made over the monthly income the entire time during the recertification period.
NC has this new EPASS account that I can't access because my account is broken. When I've called the number to get help, either no one picks up or they give me different phone numbers that circle back around to people who can't help me.
My initial case worker was not helpful and didn't answer my questions or provide guidance. The NC website isn't helpful, many pages I try to go do are either broken or have no information. And there's rarely a number that works or leads to anyone I can speak to. I was the phone once for 2 hours trying to get answers but go the run around.
My concern is if I'll be penalized for some reason. I never used the insurance once while I was on it. I didn't register a card or an account. The only thing I did once getting coverage was logging into the marketplace to choose one of the insurance companies they listed.

In the sea of people seeking connections with each other, it always starts out with beaming hope. Then it wanes down gradually. The light is barely a glimmer, but the craving for understanding never ceases. It’s funny that no matter what you tell yourself sometimes, the heart always wants more.
There is a lot of talk about being okay with being alone and finding comfort within ourselves. I agree that being comfortable with ourselves is essential, but being fundamentally social beings, the craving for companionship is real. I've always sought understanding on a mutual level and I'm someone who loves intimacy in all aspects of life. I miss being able to give that and frankly, even receive that. I'm quite passionate when it comes to relationships, and I crave a passion so intense that I'd melt into the core of my partner's soul. No words exist there, just two souls feeling connected beyond words.
A bit about myself. I enjoy deep conversations, I tend to drift off into thought a lot, I imagine daily scenarios before they even happen, or imagine how I could have responded better. All the words that could've, should've, would've been said. I make myself laugh and cry. To say the least, I’m an imaginative thinker who is sensitive to the smallest things. I appreciate it when people put in thought into their actions because I do the same. I love to connect on a deep emotional level. There is nervousness, hesitation and a huge wall, but it's beautiful when it's lowered, yeah? I love to listen more than talk.
I’ve lived very close to nature all my life and I’ve been very lucky because of it. I'm quite used to the peace that it has to offer. I think it shaped how I perceive the world around me, and even my temperament. It does get lonely sometimes, since I don’t get to meet people on a regular basis. I’m into photography, and I consider it a part of my identity. The pictures I take are an extension / reflection of my state of mind. Sometimes, even in a bad mood, if I shoot something beautiful, it transforms my perspective about my situation. I believe nature and art (along with music) has that ability.
I like learning new things, and I feel like that’s one thing that’s kept me going. I tend to be cautious about new developments and change in general. I take my time to accept something fully, but I still try to push forward.
What I'm seeking is, as the title says, a genuine connection. Someone who takes their time to get to know another person. I'm in this for the long run. However, that doesn't have to be a deal-breaker. I'm longing for it, and if you are too, there's no reason why we shouldn't give it a shot :)
I'm sorry if my post comes off a little vague.
Thank you for reading!

Hello, so for context I’m currently a sophomore in undergrad, and summer is quickly approaching so I reached out to a previous PI at a medical school I interned at last summer. He originally said that he’d have me back every summer of my undergrad, and even when I asked “If he was sure” that I could come back this upcoming summer he said, “Of course!”. Anyway, I left on great terms, and then when I reached out a few months ago to confirm he said he had accepted another intern overseas and took on multiple Ph.D. students, and could no longer fund me working in his lab. I had already created an hour-by-hour itinerary of what I had planned to do during the internship to maximize my time, and come out with an interesting presentation, and was super bummed. In the same email he had also sent me a link to two grants I could apply to that would fully fund me, both of which were nearly a month EXPIRED 😭(only found out after pouring my heart and soul into an application saying why I need the funds to work in his lab). How would y'all feel about this? I mentioned while replying that they had already expired and were no longer a viable option for me along with most grants closing for funding in early March, and I've felt ghosted ever since. *Fast forward a month I ended up getting an internship at the same medical school but not in research, I’d be on campus and definitely run into my old lab mates eventually since everyone eats lunch at the same place. Should I go visit my old lab and check in on him still? Or would it be weird? I want to maintain a good relationship since he did say he would write me a letter of rec but he hasn't emailed me back since and I don't know what he's thinking or if it would be too awkward. Any advice on my stupid little dilemma would be appreciated! Thank you! :)

EDIT: I should add context for the uninitiated: The old coupon barcode standard (called 8110) that is used pretty much everywhere in retail is being replaced with a new system called 8112. This is mandatory and the old system will be sunsetted. Hedera will act as the fully auditable transparent public ledger layer - making fraud impossible (coupon fraud is massive). Each coupon will trigger two or three HCS transactions. All parties involved will instantly be aware of the status of any coupon. TCB is The Coupon Bureau, an industry created non-profit that has been organizing the entire switch to 8112 which has been taking FOREVER.
Not sure if someone posted about this already but check this out:
https://update.thecouponbureau.org/announcements/tcb-version-2-0-0
You can read the summaries of all the changes in the Overview sections. A lot of them seem to be very significant changes that obviously were requested by users. The narrative we've gotten from TCB so far has been that retail has been slow to adopt, which is probably partially true... but gauging from the extensive overhaul that is 2.0 - the system might have not been ready. There are some very fundamental changes in here.
Here's an interesting part:
"The TCB team has conducted thorough load testing of the platform, and we're thrilled to share that we've achieved a throughput of 6200 transactions per second. The comprehensive load testing results have been made available at https://perf.thecouponbureau.org. Below is an image illustrating an overview of the load testing outcomes."
If you click that link you can see all the different kinds of calls that could be made (and would be mirrored on Hedera)
Other tidbits:
The mobile 8112 coupon app Gitsy that was developed by a former Hedera employee was updated a day before 2.0, on May 7th. (thanks Jeep)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spectivlabs.bndl&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1
Also remember Toshiba POS systems (capturing 60% of the US retail POS market and 80% of Latin America) announced they are 8112 ready last Jan. https://www.pr.com/press-release/903848
Is TCB at the cusp of 8112 going live? We will have to wait another 35 years? Will I actually be able buy discounted TP and have it recorded on HCS for all time??
I've been hoping this use case could be the digestible crypto utility that might actually break through to MSM, so we could one day finally get the sell signal of random boomers asking, "have you heard of this HBAR thing?"

Hi
I am very much grateful to you for your swift response and I want to assure you that you will be gratefully rewarded for your concern. Though this mail might come to you as a surprise and the temptation to ignore it seriously could come into your mind. Please consider it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense of humility as I seek your indulgence to solicit for your assistance concerning the content of my email because I know in my heart that you can be trusted. Please note that I found your contact email on Google email database while doing some search and you seem to be a reasonable person I can work with, because I needed a reliable and experienced person who can handle an investment worth $22 Million US Dollars.
INTRODUCTION: I am Mrs. Rula Ghani, born in 1948 and wife of the former Afghanistan President (Mr. Ashraf Ghani) whose throne/office was taken over by the Taliban on 15th August 2021 for political reasons. I am presently writing to you from the UAE where I and my husband have currently sought Asylum. I have been in emotional devastation after the assassination attempt on me and my husband in Afghanistan and because of the crisis in the Kabul city of Afghanistan. So, I am seeking your assistance in relocating the sum of $22,000,000 USD (Twenty-Two Million United State Dollars) from my foreign bank account in Jakarta, Indonesia to your Country so that the funds can be used for investment there in your Country and the funds can also be invested into your existing business if any.
I am trusting you with the sum of $22,000,000.00 USD (Twenty-Two Million United State Dollars) which will be transferred to you from my foreign Bank account in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am willing to share 60% / 40% of whatever profit that will be made from the investment. The funds can be invested into any profitable business of your choice and the investment has to be in your name since I will not be able to come there in person for now.
All I need is your absolute trust, commitment, honesty and confidentiality. Because you have to do all the transactions and the investment on my behalf since I am very far away. I advised that you kindly keep all our discussion and the transaction secret and confidential to ensure safe and uninterrupted transfer of funds. Be rest assured that the transaction is 100% legal because I and my husband had deposited the money in my foreign Bank account in Jakarta, Indonesia and the funds will be transferred to you legally on your readiness. I will instruct my bank to start the transfer process as soon as you are willing and ready.
Please note that whatever we are facing currently in Afghanistan are political matters and I know it was a plan from our political opponent. You may not understand this if you are not a politician. Anyway, I will enlighten you more on the political matter in future as I do not have much time to discuss politics at the moment.
Please think about the proposal very well and let me know your decision whether you are INTERESTED or NOT to enable me to proceed to the next step. If you are interested and agree to accept 60/40 sharing, kindly reply immediately so that I can provide you with more detail.
I am hoping to hear from you again and may God bless you for taking your time to read my letter.
Regards Mrs. Rula Ghani.

So I want to start this off by saying YES I KNOW don’t ever fucking miss appointments when it comes to claims appointments, I’ve spent the last 48hrs googling shit. I had appointments a while ago to figure out disability claims but had a rough mental spiral at the time and kinda became a hobo in my own apartment and missed the appointments and never called them about missing it at the time. Yesterday I get the letter with my final disability rating and it had a couple denied cause I missed the appointment. I know I know that was stupid of me and I suck. Just does anyone have any answers on how to fix this, re apply, fix, or whatever is needed.

Hello, this is a long shot but I’m trying to find a long lost friend!! My name is Gabi, I’m a barista at a coffee shop by the name of Bennu down in Austin, Texas. We had a regular by the name of David Bradley who would always come in and get a Scarlet Letter (one of our mochas), who we absolutely adored. We would always have the best conversations, and he was just the most pleasant, kind, and gentle individual. David moved up to Vermont about a year ago (perhaps more?? time flies) due to a family matter, I do not know which town. I deeply regret not asking for any contact info to keep in touch when he said his goodbyes, as he is so deeply loved and missed by our employees. He has no social media presence that I’m aware of, but we’ve discussed Reddit-happenings before. So, here I am trying to find him! If anything- just to tell him we love him, miss him, and wish the absolute best for him
Here is what I know about him: - his name is David Bradley - he graduated from UT Austin - perhaps in his mid to late 30s? - has an amazing red beard - wears glasses! - apparently, according to my coworker, he is a triplet or quadruplet? Maybe it’s just lore. - he is an author of sorts, was working on a piece at the shop when he was here - very into sociopolitical happenings! - would play solitaire and chess on his laptop at the shop - is the most kind, gentle, warm individual
I’ve been thinking of him lots lately for some reason, and just putting this out there eases my thoughts! Any info would be great! Thank you in advance.
David, if you see this: Eric, Elena, Jules, Mychael and I miss you and we looooovveee you!! We hope everything is going well for you in life, because you absolutely deserve the very best it has to offer. Much love, Gabs.

Welcome to Smile Sunday! Turn that caps lock off and gush about whatever achievements you want to showcase, or comment about what made you smile this week!
​
A few things to keep in mind:
​

• If you want to do some uppercase letters, feel free to, but try to avoid shouting! Sunday is a chill day.
• Avoid being maliciously happy at the expense of others.
• If you have a screenshot you'd like to share, please host on imgur.com and you can comment here. You can hyperlink by using brackets and parentheses, for example: \[desired text here\](insert hyperlink here). If you are on mobile, all you have to do is hit the chainlink, enter your desired text in the first box, then insert the link in the second box. We personally recommend Imgur, since it is free and does not require you to sign up.
• Phone camera photos are not allowed for general posting; however, for the Sunday megathread we have relaxed that restriction. All photos used in a positive and celebratory manner are allowed.
• Keep any opinions to yourself in the megathread; we don't want to stir up any controversies here, only good vibes.
• We want to have a chill time celebrating one another and making each other smile, so no comments like "haha, I'm really happy that it's so easy to 360 a controller player!"

​
Here are our recurring posts:
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No Stupid Questions Monday - No question is stupid, ask anything DBD-related here.
Rage Wednesday - SMASH THAT CAPS LOCK AND RAGE ABOUT WHATEVER THE F$$$ HAS PISSED YOU OFF THIS WEEK

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Born_Analysis8995
Originally posted to self
My (16m) mom (40f) confessed that she is my sister and I now feel bad
Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, past sexual assault, teen pregnancy, drugs and alcohol use, mentions of overdose
Original Post (Wayback Machine): May 11, 2024
Idk why I feel so much guilt about this whole situation. This happened 5 days ago, 1 week after my 16th birthday.
So my mom (sister) explained our entire family situation. Her mom (my bio mom) was assaulted as a teenager (15) and was forced to keep the child because of her parents, eventually giving birth to my mom. They struggled a lot during this time and my mom was resented by her mom so she moved away as soon as she was 18 and went NC. Her mom began spiralling with drugs, alcohol, etc once she left and eventually ended up pregnant again with me around the time my mom was 23. However, she was deemed unfit to raise me so they managed to contact my mom and she agreed to take me in. My bio mom never really recovered and ended up overdosing a year later.
This completely surprised me because I genuinely never had clue I wasn't actually my mom's child. We look very much alike and she went to great lengths to become my mom. She said that I don't need to call her mom anymore and that I deserved to know the truth before I turn 18. This upset me and I absolutely disagreed with her and said that no matter what she would always be my mom and I would always call her that because she is in every way my mom. And we both cried over this and hugged and I thanked her for telling me the truth also.
The thing that is eating away at me though is that she sacrificed so much to raise me and I can't repay her in any way. Like she hasn't dated at all even though I know that she wants a partner. She also changed professions to better accommodate me. She has done so much and I can't repay her in any way. And I haven't always been the best to her either. I was definitely difficult as a child and recently I haven't really been listening and respecting her as much as I should be. And I know I've probably said some mean things over the years, mostly around wanting to be with my dad (she initially said that she had a husband that abandoned us when I was born). All of this just made me feel so much guilt and sadness. And I know if I talk to her about it she'll just reassure me that she is happy and I shouldn't worry but I can't get rid of this feeling.
I've decided that I'm going to be the best son ever and do everything she says from now on. But I still can't get rid of this feeling. I don't know what to do.
Relevant/Top Comments
YoungeCurmudgeon4: Your sister is an amazing woman and an incredible person and deserves all the love and respect in the world.
As for you, handling this so well takes a lot in a person. Be proud of yourself. And always believe in yourself.

OOP: Thanks I'll try my best ❤️ My love for her is probably at an all time high. I wish I'd know earlier so that I could have always treated her this way.

TraditionalShop6800: Talk to your mom, thank her and tell you are grateful for how she raised you. And now, she should think about herself too. Encourage her to date again and find a partner.

OOP: Okay I will. I think I'll take some time to figure out the right words to say to her 😅

Galactus1701: Repay her by being the best person you can be. Help her, be respectful, study and always be grateful.

OOP: Absolutely will be the best son I can 😅

BiasCutTweed: You have to also give yourself a little grace here - your mom sounds amazing and deserves all the best, but what she clearly wanted for you was to give you a normal, stable childhood. And it’s very normal for children to act out sometimes, to say things in anger, to be difficult. It’s all a part of growing up.
The good thing is that it’s easy to see from your reaction to what she told you that she did an amazing job and you’re well on your way to becoming a great person she will be proud of. Take all of this and let it strengthen those good qualities. Do your best for her and yourself but don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes you can’t change. You don’t need to repay her for the choices she made, you just need to live a life that makes you both happy.

OOP: Thank you for the advice ❤️ I'll definitely try my best to feel proud of myself and also make her happy

 
Mini Update: May 12, 2024
I've literally been tearing up from all the comments and messages from everyone. I am honestly so grateful for all the kind words and reassurance. Genuinely thanks so much ❤️
Not much of an update really but I thought I would still share. I took a few pieces of advice and have done them randomly during day. Firstly Happy Mother's Day everyone. Hope you had a great time. Me and my mom had a few things planned for today and I got back just over an hour ago now. We went to the cinema then a restaurant and ended the day with bowling. Honestly had an absolute blast and she was happy throughout. I got her a gift too, it was a photo engraved bracelet which I gave her at the end of bowling.
One advice I got was saying things that show her I care about her so I said "Your the best" and hugged her after the cinema. I also said "I love you" when giving her the bracelet which made her cry 😭
I still do feel the guilt but I'm not gonna let it get me down. Don't want more stress especially with exams coming up 😅 I saw a lot of comments mentioning that I shouldn't keep my feelings bottled up so I am planning on conveying all my feelings to her soon. I'll probably write a letter because I know I'll probably start crying before I even start speaking 😂 I think that will definitely give me some peace of mind. Thanks all again for taking the time to read this ❤️
(Also I completely forgot how biology works in my last post 😅 She would be my half-sister not sister since I doubt our father's were the same. But regardless I'm still going to call her mom 😁)
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

dealing with a problematic member of a board games group
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
EDITORS NOTE: Changed Q to Quinn for easier reading
Original Post Sept 15, 2022
I wanted to write and say thank you.
I am part of a local board games group, and started to run the group a while ago. It’s a great group of people who all enjoy coming together to play board games and have fun, and it was one of the key factors in making my husband and I feel at home in the city where we live. We have both made friends with people in the group, and it’s now a firm part of our life here. In addition, a regular member who left recently said that the group was the highlight of his week, which was lovely to hear. I love running the group!
However, there is a member of the group, Quinn, who has been in the group since it started (seven years or more) and has been displaying problematic behavior since he joined (rude comments, refusing to play anyone else’s games, losing his temper at times, leaving games in a huff when he’s losing, and generally making the atmosphere unpleasant for others). When we joined, we were told that Quinn bothered everyone but was just something that was being in the group, so we went along with that. At the time, the group was very serious and inclined towards more serious board games, and only three people ever brought games. There has been a real change of culture since then, with a range of games being played (light games, traditional games, and heavy games) and everyone brings games now. The atmosphere is a lot lighter, with more emphasis on having fun and being social, and this is something that Quinn does not enjoy and has not adjusted well to.
When I started to run the group, I noticed Quinn’s behavior was having a terrible effect on the group (people not coming back because of him or doing anything to avoid playing with him, and his preference for playing games in reverential silence making sessions less fun for everyone). I also realized that some people were at breaking point with this and it might contribute to them leaving.
The deputy (Kelly) and I wanted to ensure that we did it fairly and using the right procedure. We gathered feedback on the group, (which was useful in itself!), which confirmed that Quinn’s behavior was an issue, and I spoke to him, named what we were seeing with clear examples, and explained what we needed to see change. Quinn said he would take it on board. Your scripts and language were very helpful, as Quinn takes things very literally and factually.
Quinn’s behavior improved for four weeks, which was great. Some people have put up with it for so long that no amount of change will make them want to play games with Quinn, but some people were willing to give Quinn a chance. Unfortunately, Quinn’s behavior started to slip after four weeks, culminating in a session where they almost put a new member off coming back by lecturing them about group etiquette and insulting their game shelves with what was meant to be a joke, but did not land.
I spoke to Quinn again and explained that since the behavior we discussed had returned, if this did not improve, we would have to ask Quinn to leave as the group is for everyone and I need to do what’s right for the group as a whole.
Quinn took the points on board and was visibly upset at the thought of being asked to leave the group. Since we spoke to them, they haven’t attended of the two sessions since then, but they are still chatting on our Discord channel and seem to be trying to make amends by promoting the group to a students’ group in the city we live in.
We don’t know what will happen, but Kelly and I have agreed what behaviors will mean Quinn will be asked to leave, and your scripts and posts were invaluable in thinking about how to tackle this, and what language to use. Your posts have helped me realize that being the group leader means that the buck stops with me. For example, my husband and I disagreed on how to handle the situation (he was in favor of asking Quinn to leave immediately) but I had the confidence to think it through, follow the process through fairly, and know that if it didn’t work, that responsibility would rest with me.
This isn’t related to work per se, but I wanted to say thank you very much for the invaluable and free advice which has really helped me in navigating this situation!
Update Apr 11, 2024
I am the letter writer who runs a board games group and used Alison’s excellent advice about communication to deal with a problematic member of the games group and the issues their behavior was causing.
We had a twist in the tale recently when Quinn, the member who was asked to leave the group because their behavior was negatively impacting others, asked if they could come back.
For four weeks every year, we use a different venue as another group needs our normal venue. One one of the four weeks, I went for a walk before the session and noticed what looked like Quinn in the park. When the session started, Quinn appeared, just “passing by,” and we had a quick chat about this and that before they asked if they could come back to the group, saying they were in a better place now. They then left without ordering anything, which makes me think they dropped in just to see us.
I said I would send a message, and gave it due consideration. I also asked a friend who knows Quinn and used to be in the group, but has now moved, for their more objective input.
The decision was no: the group is working well as it is, with high numbers and between 11 and 20 people per session, and Quinn coming back would lead to awkwardness and possible animosity from a few people, some of whom would speak their mind. We would also lose a lot of members, and the group would slowly decline. For what it’s worth, one person who had some very negative interactions with Quinn, when they heard why Quinn was there ( they were round the corner), exclaimed “No!” to Quinn coming back, and this person is one of the nicest people you’ll meet. Similar reactions were given from others.
I sent Quinn a message explaining the decision, and I was as fair and kind as possible given the circumstances. Quinn has found another games group, albeit one that only plays light games, (not heavy games, Quinn’s preference), and I mentioned that and said it sounds like a nice group (which it does).
Quinn was perfectly pleasant when we chatted, but that was for about eight minutes, and they knew what was coming. They also said that they weren’t often doing the things I’d mentioned anymore (moving other people’s pieces, and a couple of other examples I gave), and that although their new group likes light games, they are helping some people progress up to heavier games. It wasn’t clear if the people wanted to progress (one of the issues we had was Quinn assuming that everyone wanted to progress).
The games group continues to do well, with enough surplus each year to give everyone free sessions every January, and we receive frequent feedback that the atmosphere is friendly and welcoming and that people feel at home and confident to bring and teach their games there. Our annual Christmas potluck dinner and session with a Secret Santa also continues. We also have a Google sheet with people’s games collections, if they want to add them, thanks to one of our members who likes spreadsheets.
For myself, Ask a Manager continues to help me out at work! I recently applied for a job which would be a step up income wise and I used Alison’s tips, and I use the communication tips in daily life as well as at work. I was actually used as a bargaining chip in recent negotiations at work over a type of meeting that needs minuting (for my minuting skills), so I will take that as a compliment!
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Me and my family were playing LMoP recently when our cleric tried to make a pet. It did not go well.
Let’s introduce the cast first… (yes these are the preset characters we were using)
Wizard: Me
Cleric: My sister, and the focus of our story
Fighter: My brother. He doesn’t play a big role in the story, but he was there.
Rogue: My mom, whose character is nicknamed “The Unlucky Halfling” due to her poor rolls.
DM: My dad.
Our session had two beginnings. The chronological beginning, which the DM decided was a dream sequence due to Cleric downing 3 bottles of poison and dying in the Wizard Workshop, and the actual beginning, where she survived. Both times, Cleric used animal handling to befriend the rat that was in the room (she even got a nat 20 on her second attempt) and named it “Fred”. After the rat was befriended, I noticed the DM constantly rolling dice for some reason. Rogue suspected Fred might be Glass Staff in disguise, but since none of us had Detect Magic we couldn’t check.
Fred started being really suspicious during our fight with the Nothic. It bit Cleric on the shoulder early on in the fight which made her take 1 damage, but I suspected he might have been scared by my presdigitation. When Cleric fainted during the fight, she was more worried about Fred being okay than herself, even after I gave her a healing potion that restored her HP to 5. After the fight, we waited for Cleric to wake up. We then tried to decide whether to fight the nearby Red Brands or get the prisoners we rescued to safety. Cleric tried to ask Fred to go beneath the door the Red Brands were behind, only for Fred to bite her in the face, reducing her to 1 HP. We ultimately decided to go back to town.
When we left the dungeon, we saw a letter from Glass Staff asking if we liked his “pet” and for a moment I thought he was talking about Fred. Rogue thought he was talking about the Nothic. The DM let me use Detect Magic even if it wasn’t in my spell slots, and I used it on Fred to see if he was magical. He was, though I couldn’t tell what magic. We started calling him “Fred the Magic Rat” after that. We decided not to kill him immediately because he could maybe be the Druid we were looking for. Our DM suggested we visit Tymora’s temple on our way to the inn to ask if Garale knew anything about what magic Fred could have.
When we entered the temple, the DM described how Fred, being held in Cleric’s hands, was struck by a bolt of magic, evaporating him instantly. Since he was in Cleric’s hands, she took damage and fainted. Garale asked why we would bring a “familiar of evil” into Tymora’s temple. The DM then read the rat’s stats. The rat was a familiar of Iarno, and was a spy for him. Those rolls I saw the DM doing? Those were to decide if the rat would bite Cleric or not. The rat was a trap placed in the module itself specifically for people like Cleric. Needless to say she was shocked.
TLDR: My sister falls for an in-game trap because she loves animals.

I tried to shorten this as best as I could.
I (18f)(Maryland, U.S.A) use to nanny for a family who owns a rabbit. The rabbit was kept outside in dangerous temperatures, unsafe environment, a ~2 by ~2 box, alone, had no hay or toys, on wire, and being tormented by their kids during the very little time it had outside of it's cage. They were abusing and neglecting it. They have an autistic son who treated and handle the rabbit like a stuffed animal. It was dangerous for the rabbit even if he didn't mean it any harm. There’s a lot more detail I could go into. I ended up quitting due to them not being willing to change their treatment towards the rabbit. I called animal control and they sent a police officer out to investigate. The officer said no one was home but the rabbit had shelter so it was fine. Later on I compiled a bunch of research and articles on how they were neglecting the rabbit and offered to take it since I have 2 of my own. I was super nice but they basically told me to go away. So I told them I understood and wouldn't be contacting them again. A bit later I decided to review the county's animal rights law where they live (County B). I wrote down each law that they violated and how in an email that I sent animal control. They said they would send an animal control officer out, not a police officer. I responded saying I would be willing to take the rabbit if it was surrendered. I don't believe animal control even read my email or reviewed the laws I cited. They went to the family and said the rabbit had a roof and food so it was fine.
Later I received a call from a private number. I picked up and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as a police officer for county B. I asked for him name and he muttered something. I asked him to repeat himself and he said "the same thing I said the first time". I wrote down the name I believed I heard. He proceeded to tell me that he was good friends with the family and also a police officer. He said that making a report to animal control was harassment and that he would make a case. Then he told me that as a police officer he would make sure to turn a misdemeanor into a felony and he'd make sure that it would follow me for the rest of my life. I asked him if he had read my email outlining every law that was violated, he said no. He asked for an example and I said how the cage had a wire bottom. He then admitted he didn't know the animal rights laws. He proceeded to tell me that even though he hasn't physically seen the family in 2 years that he could guarantee the rabbit was perfectly fine. This didn't make sense since the rabbit is only around a year old. He then proceeded to try and convince me there was nothing wrong with their treatment of the rabbit. He brought up that he had 5 tours in the military and was a police officer for a long time. He then talked about how he had seen and done horrible things while on the job and that I could never comprehend or understand. He compared the rabbit to what he has seen and said that the rabbit was fine in comparison. He started telling me that animal control would euthanize the rabbit and that they euthanize almost any animals they get. He kept trying to get me to say I would drop the report. It felt as if he was trying to scare me into not talking to animal control by threatening the rabbits life. He also told me to not talk about the family's autistic son in a very threatening tone and that he "would do a lot for that boy". At one point in the call he said "as a police officer I can punch you once but you'll remember it for the rest of your life." As a disabled woman that comment in particular was very scary to me. He also went on a tangent about God and about how he "isn't racist". There was a lot more he ranted about. I have PTSD and he triggered it. He had scared and intimated me.
I was worried and intimated into almost giving up. Luckily someone pointed out to me that a cop shouldn't say those things. I looked up the name I heard and found a retired police officer by that name on the County B's police website. I also found that a man with that name was friends with the mom on facebook. I decided to call the state police and they transferred me to the town I live in's police department. I told the officer what had happened. He told me that the man's actions weren't legal or professional. He also looked up the man name in some type of record system and said there was currently no active officer with the name I heard. He told me to call the station if I received another call from this number. I can't remember if he said if he would tell county B's police, as I was still very freaked out at this point.
I decided to email county B's police anyway since I was still very anxious, scared, and concerned. I believe he impersonated a police officer and threatened me, both physically and legally. They said it was not their department. I called animal control and they confirmed that they didn't assign a police officer to this case. I was worried that this man might hurt me physically, get the rabbit euthanized, make a false report, or interfere with animal controls investigation. He had freaked me out severely. I had to have extensions on my college work because I was too scared to go to campus. I still haven't gotten another job due to fear of something like this happening again. It was hard for me to handle emotionally and mentally. Around this time I got very ill and was in incredible pain. I did not try to get further help on this situation since I was scared and in a lot of pain. I have had surgery that has helped the pain and given me a lot of time to think. I am finally ready to try and do something over what he did. Is there any case or some type of justice I can get from this? I've had really bad nightmares over the rabbit's safety and the threats ever since. I'm hoping some type of justice might help get rid of them. I need help and guidance and I hope I can get that here.

I tried to shorten this as best as I could.
I (18f)(Maryland, U.S.A) use to nanny for a family who owns a rabbit. The rabbit was kept outside in dangerous temperatures, unsafe environment, a ~2 by ~2 box, alone, had no hay or toys, on wire, and being tormented by their kids during the very little time it had outside of it's cage. They were abusing and neglecting it. They have an autistic son who treated and handle the rabbit like a stuffed animal. It was dangerous for the rabbit even if he didn't mean it any harm. There’s a lot more detail I could go into. I ended up quitting due to them not being willing to change their treatment towards the rabbit. I called animal control and they sent a police officer out to investigate. The officer said no one was home but the rabbit had shelter so it was fine. Later on I compiled a bunch of research and articles on how they were neglecting the rabbit and offered to take it since I have 2 of my own. I was super nice but they basically told me to go away. So I told them I understood and wouldn't be contacting them again. A bit later I decided to review the county's animal rights law where they live (County B). I wrote down each law that they violated and how in an email that I sent animal control. They said they would send an animal control officer out, not a police officer. I responded saying I would be willing to take the rabbit if it was surrendered. I don't believe animal control even read my email or reviewed the laws I cited. They went to the family and said the rabbit had a roof and food so it was fine.
Later I received a call from a private number. I picked up and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as a police officer for county B. I asked for him name and he muttered something. I asked him to repeat himself and he said "the same thing I said the first time". I wrote down the name I believed I heard. He proceeded to tell me that he was good friends with the family and also a police officer. He said that making a report to animal control was harassment and that he would make a case. Then he told me that as a police officer he would make sure to turn a misdemeanor into a felony and he'd make sure that it would follow me for the rest of my life. I asked him if he had read my email outlining every law that was violated, he said no. He asked for an example and I said how the cage had a wire bottom. He then admitted he didn't know the animal rights laws. He proceeded to tell me that even though he hasn't physically seen the family in 2 years that he could guarantee the rabbit was perfectly fine. This didn't make sense since the rabbit is only around a year old. He then proceeded to try and convince me there was nothing wrong with their treatment of the rabbit. He brought up that he had 5 tours in the military and was a police officer for a long time. He then talked about how he had seen and done horrible things while on the job and that I could never comprehend or understand. He compared the rabbit to what he has seen and said that the rabbit was fine in comparison. He started telling me that animal control would euthanize the rabbit and that they euthanize almost any animals they get. He kept trying to get me to say I would drop the report. It felt as if he was trying to scare me into not talking to animal control by threatening the rabbits life. He also told me to not talk about the family's autistic son in a very threatening tone and that he "would do a lot for that boy". At one point in the call he said "as a police officer I can punch you once but you'll remember it for the rest of your life." As a disabled woman that comment in particular was very scary to me. He also went on a tangent about God and about how he "isn't racist". There was a lot more he ranted about. I have PTSD and he triggered it. He had scared and intimated me.
I was worried and intimated into almost giving up. Luckily someone pointed out to me that a cop shouldn't say those things. I looked up the name I heard and found a retired police officer by that name on the County B's police website. I also found that a man with that name was friends with the mom on facebook. I decided to call the state police and they transferred me to the town I live in's police department. I told the officer what had happened. He told me that the man's actions weren't legal or professional. He also looked up the man name in some type of record system and said there was currently no active officer with the name I heard. He told me to call the station if I received another call from this number. I can't remember if he said if he would tell county B's police, as I was still very freaked out at this point.
I decided to email county B's police anyway since I was still very anxious, scared, and concerned. I believe he impersonated a police officer and threatened me, both physically and legally. They said it was not their department. I called animal control and they confirmed that they didn't assign a police officer to this case. I was worried that this man might hurt me physically, get the rabbit euthanized, make a false report, or interfere with animal controls investigation. He had freaked me out severely. I had to have extensions on my college work because I was too scared to go to campus. I still haven't gotten another job due to fear of something like this happening again. It was hard for me to handle emotionally and mentally. Around this time I got very ill and was in incredible pain. I did not try to get further help on this situation since I was scared and in a lot of pain. I have had surgery that has helped the pain and given me a lot of time to think. I am finally ready to try and do something over what he did. Is there any case or some type of justice I can get from this? I've had really bad nightmares over the rabbit's safety and the threats ever since. I'm hoping some type of justice might help get rid of them. I need help and guidance and I hope I can get that here.

Hi all, looking for some anecdotal information here.
I’ve recently had my 3rd septo-rhinoplasty with turbinate reduction and LCSG to repair nasal valve collapse. The official diagnosis on my insurance letter says Nasal Vestibular Stenosis.
My surgeon has never mentioned anything about me having nasal polyps (I assume she didn’t see any during the endoscopies), but my breathing still isn’t great, especially my left nostril. At times I feel a lot of pressure and swelling on the left side.
I’ve never had a ct scan, so I’m just wondering if anyone has had a clean endoscopy (from a nasal polyp perspective) but polyps were observed through a ct scan?
TYIA!

MIA Town Hall - Supporting Extreme States, Dissociation & Experiences Labeled as Psychosis
Mad in America presents Part II of a special panel discussion on understanding and supporting those experiencing extreme states, dissociation, and experiences labeled as psychosis. We’ll take a deeper dive into how engaging and validating these states can serve as a supportive tool for healing. We’ll provide concrete examples of possible approaches and demonstrate that recovery, even in people labeled as “incurable,” is possible in various forms. Our expert panel includes survivors, family members, and therapists. Extensive resources will be shared, and the discussion will conclude with an open audience Q&A.
About the Guest Speakers
Cindy Marty Hadge is a person who experienced physical, emotional, sexual, and medical trauma as a child. She experienced voices, vision, and thoughts of ending her life growing up as well. As a young adult she turned to alcohol and street drugs in an effort to make life livable. Over time she entered the mental health system, where the street drugs were replaced with prescribed drugs and the result was frequently the same – walking or stumbling through life in a mind-numbing state while continuing to experience voices, visions, and thoughts of ending her life.
Knowing that peer support in the form of 12 Step programs had been helpful while struggling with substance use, she sought out peer support for her emotional distress and experience of extreme states. Cindy discovered that she lived within walking distance of one of the Wildflower Alliance spaces, where one of the very few Hearing Voices Network groups in the US was held. Within this community she found healing and hope. By attending HVN groups she discovered that there were things she could do beyond taking medication to navigate her experience.
Cindy has found the meaning, purpose, and connection that she longed for and has made a way of making sense of the senseless. She is transforming her tragedies into treasures by being healed when creating space for others to heal. Cindy has been recognized by Inter-Voice, the international organization of HVN, for her work as an educator. Cindy is gender non-conforming and has presented both as Cindy and Marty. Cindy is a keynote speaker and a national trainer.
Olga Runciman is the only psychologist in private practice in Denmark to specialize in extreme states (psychosis). She is an international trainer and speaker, writer, campaigner, and artist. She is a co-founder of the Danish Hearing Voices Network and the International Institute for Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal. She is a board member for a variety of organizations including Intervoice, Mad in America, The Danish Psychosocial Rehabilitation organization, and others. She has taken the three-year Finnish Open Dialogue education in London and works today as a dialogical family therapist and trainer.
For many years prior to her current career, Olga worked as a nurse in neurology and psychiatry. She also knows psychiatry from the inside, having been a patient herself. She was told she was an incurable case. Today she is in the unique position of creating a bridge between patient and professional.
Sam Ruck earned his B.A. in a Christian ministry-related field but set that dream aside when his wife began to display symptoms related to her childhood trauma early in their 35-year marriage. Together, for the past 16 years, they have learned to navigate extreme states and extreme dissociative issues, while embracing her seven “alter” identities in their relationship and family. Sam learned to become the companion his wife needed on their mutual healing journey, using strategies drawn from attachment theories and other pragmatic approaches.
Today, Sam and his wife struggle together, like many others, amidst the upheaval of culture wars and post his cancer diagnosis in 2023. They are still dealing with the remnants of her trauma and dissociation. Though his wife chooses to remain anonymous, she supports Sam sharing their learnings with significant others, family members, and anyone who is interested in a better way to engage someone experiencing mental distress. Please note that for privacy, Sam Ruck is using a pen name.
Sam blogged about their journey for a number of years later, summarizing the experience in a short book offered for free here. Excerpts have been published on MIA.

Do I have cancer?
I found out by accident, MRI to assess old back injury picked up some extra findings in the background, and I have a large fibroid in my uterus and 4 masses/lesions on my liver. I have a referral to the James Cancer Center for gastroenterology, was told my case needed the “advanced” team because my “case is too complicated”. At the same time, I’m told benign lesions pop up all the time. Ok, these aren’t uncommon, but I need the “advanced team” which is booked out until the end of August?! I entered the abdominal MRI results for my abdomen in an AI ChatBox. I’ll post end of the response below since I can’t type it all out or share my screenshots below.
My repeat MRI isn’t scheduled yet, but is due mid July for the 3 month follow up scan.
I guess I just don’t know if I need advice or to vent.
“Overall, the presence of multi liver lesions with varying liver enhancement patterns raises concerns for both benign and malignant etiologies.”
Here’s the report.

1. There are 4 discrete liver lesions demonstrating mild T2 hyperintensity as well as avid arterial phase enhancement. More delayed postcontrast sequences demonstrate continued enhancement, however, to a lesser degree. The lesions demonstrate very mild precontrast T1 hypointensity as well. The lesions are indeterminate with potential considerations including atypical focal nodular hyperplasia as well as multiple hepatic adenomas. Recommend short follow-up in 3 months which can be performed with contrast enhanced MRI using Eovist contrast. If tissue sampling is needed, image-guided biopsy of one of the lesions may be amenable. 2. No lymphadenopathy. 3. No biliary ductal dilatation.

FINDINGS: Right hepatic lobe elongated measuring 21 cm craniocaudally. No obvious hepatic steatosis. There are multiple, at least 4, enhancing lesions within the liver which demonstrate mild T2 hyperintensity. The larger lesion centered within the more lateral left hepatic lobe, segment 2 measures approximately 3.5 x 2.8 cm on image 9 of sequence 12 with a slightly more central focus of increased T2 signal on image 9. On postcontrast sequences the lesions demonstrate avid enhancement during the arterial phase with an area of central hypoenhancement particularly seen within the segment 2 lesion. Lesion within the right hepatic dome on image 12 for reference measures 1.6 x 1.5 cm on image 12 of sequence 18 and lesion more inferiorly in the posterior right hepatic lobe on image 30 measures 3.6 x 3.0 cm. Within the left hepatic lobe, segment 4 is an enhancing lesion measuring 1.4 x 1.4 cm on image 29. The lesions demonstrate continued enhancement on the more delayed sequences where they enhance slightly higher than background liver parenchyma, however, not as intensely as seen on the arterial phase sequence. Incidental nonenhancing cyst within the periphery of the left hepatic lobe on image 21 of sequence 24 measuring approximately 0.4 cm in size. Gallbladder overall unremarkable on this exam. No biliary duct dilatation identified. Pancreas, adrenal glands, and the spleen are unremarkable. Both kidneys are unremarkable in appearance. There is no bulky abdominal lymphadenopathy or ascites identified. Portal venous vasculature is grossly patent.

So long story short, I sold a car (in Oregon,) transferred the title notified the DMV of the sale promptly afterwards. Few months later and The Toll Roads (California) is spamming me with toll violations for the vehicle. Yeah, I left the plates on, didn't get a bill of sale, etc. My bad and lesson learned.
What I'm trying to figure out is how to get these guys off my back. When I called OR DMV about it, they assured me the notice was still on file, and I did everything required to release myself from liability per ORS 803.117. I filled out the Toll Roads affadavit of non liability, and they keep rejecting it because I don't have the dude's address, and they ignore me when I try to reason further. I've called them three times, twice spoke with clueless reps who knew nothing, and once with an upper management who said she would check with the email department and never got back to me.
I'm getting more of these letters multiple per week now because apparently whoever has the vehicle is racking up a bunch of these and I'm getting increasingly angry about it. Worst case scenario I will simply refuse to pay, but I would much prefer to make them leave me alone. Is there anything I can say to them to achieve this end? Could I/Should I get a lawyer to send them a cease and desist or something to that effect? Could really use some pointers.