I’m posting this in hopes it helps me some… My Mom passed away July 16, 2020. She passed away from complications due to Covid/Diabetes. She had just turned 48. I was 24 and my younger sister 17. None of us could be with her in the hospital due to the Covid restrictions. Just an occasional FaceTime call when she was feeling okay, or some texts. Towards the end she needed extra help breathing and ended up being put into this coma like state to try to help her body heal. She fought hard for 2 weeks, but ultimately she never came back home.
I miss her so much. My dad and I never had the best relationship growing up, and it hurts to say it hasn’t really changed since she passed, either. I think of her still every single day. If she would be proud of me, the life me and my fiancé have, or my little sister who is engaged and has a 5 month old now. She won’t be there for when we get married, have kids (her dream was to be a Grandma), just so many life events without her. I miss the simple things the most- just calling her on a hard day. I still have her number saved in my phone because I just can’t bring myself to delete it.
Sorry for the long rant, I’ve just been struggling since her birthday back in April, and now the closer it gets to her death date. Thank you for the vent session, and I wish I could give a hug to everyone struggling.🤍

Jamie Benn doesn’t care about bees
Jamie Benn sold out Anne frank
Jamie Benn doesn’t pick up after his dog shits in public
Jamie Benn asked to help open your presents on your birthday
“No O’douls? Okay, I’ll take a mikes hard.” - Jamie Benn
Jamie Benn doesn’t say “nice” to the number 69
Jamie Benn causes microphone interference
Jamie Benn commonly waffle stomps in the shower
Jamie Benn scratches his ass and smells his finger
Jamie Benn strokes it in the mirror
Jamie Benn would like to speak to the manager
Jamie Benn wipes back to front
Jamie Benn shits on the tour bus
Jamie Benn doesn’t tip his door dash driver
Jamie Benn smokes in the airplane lavatory
Jamie Benn wears a ref jersey while stroking it
Jamie Benn let’s it crust
Jamie Benn only watches anime porn
Jamie Benn wears thongs
Jamie Benn bought belle Delphine’s bath water
Jamie Benn wears white after Labor Day
Jamie Benn hates cats and dogs
Jamie Benn doesn’t have the courtesy to give reach arounds
Jamie Benn leaves dirty dishes in the sink
Jamie benns favorite office character is Nellie
Jamie Benn skis in jeans
Jamie Ben doesn’t catch runaway skis and boards sliding down the mountain
Jamie Benn thinks Epstein killed himself
Jamie Benn talks on the phone in public
Jamie Benn sings along to the “what a pro wants” commercial
Jamie Benn pees in the pool and blames it on the kids
Jamie Benn chokes himself on his toothbrush
Jamie Benn doesn’t eat box because it’s “yucky”
Jamie Benn thinks London has the best Mexican food
Jamie Benn repeats arguement against him in a nerd voice
Jamie Benn thinks diddy is innocent
Jamie Benn thinks drake beat Kendrick
Jamie Benn makes his dog run after a fake throw
Jamie Benn microwaves his steak
Jamie Benn orders virgin shots
Jamie Benn pees right next to you with multiple other urinals open
Jamie Benn replies to company wide emails
Jamie Benn prints him name when the document says sign here

Here I have included my pre-draft, post-draft, and fantasy football WR evaluations (shortened for brevity). This is regarding real life skillsets and performance, and the fantasy football ranking is for redraft. I believe that the IRL evaluation is good enough for dynasty as well, even when skillsets don't match fantasy productive ones.
Pre-Draft Rankings:
Tier 1:
These are all players who I don’t want to delve into. They are the safe, elite prospects who don’t have any red flags, which is what differentiates them from the tier below.

1. Marvin Harrison Jr.
2. Malik Nabers
3. Rome Odunze

Tier 2:
Each of the three players in this tier are elite, but have one or several red flags and uncertainty to their game.

1. Troy Franklin
   1. Troy Franklin is a smooth route runner with great deep speed (moves like Ridley), but what truly makes him elite is his much underrated awareness. He has an impeccable feel for both zone and the defensive back’s mind, allowing him to slide into space and break out of the reach of corners, and he also holds an elite release package paired with great ball tracking. From what I’ve seen, Franklin is also the most willing and able blocker in this class. His biggest flaw to me is not his slight frame, but rather his lack of extension when going for catches, perhaps due to his small hands, which allows for random drops and makes him more susceptible to drops through contact.
2. Xavier Worthy
   1. While Worthy has risen in draft boards, the respect for him has fallen after his record breaking 40 yard dash. Worthy might have speed, but he is not all speed. Worthy has been an elite player his whole career, with an extremely early breakout and impressive freshman season. He is often dinged for his ball tracking, an important trait for deep threats, but I don’t see it. Worthy also offers elite YAC ability. He has the mental capability to be used as a consistent threat out of motion, as I don’t see him having the same release package as Franklin. The flaw with him is both being and playing small.
3. Brian Thomas Jr.
   1. BTJ is built in a prototypically phenomenal way. He possesses elite speed, size, and agility for that size – the makings of an elite receiver. He was also an elite producer in college. Thomas Jr. doesn’t necessarily show a lot of flaws in his game (aside from a few small things) – rather he doesn’t show a lot of anything at all. His flaw is that there is not enough information about his game out there to make the evaluation process thorough enough. Questions remain about his route tree and ability to play a variety of roles in an offense. At the very least, he steps into a team as an elite deep threat. In my opinion, Thomas Jr. offers a higher ceiling than Odunze, Worthy, and Franklin, but there’s just not enough for me to look at here.

Tier 3:
Tier 3 contains three players who show a lot of good things on film, but also have almost horrible production profiles.

1. Ladd McConkey
   1. McConkey reminds me of Christian Kirk stylistically. He possesses elite quickness and solid route running with very quick, twitchy steps. It is clear that he knows how to keep defensive backs guessing. I also noted that he shows strong YAC abilities and the willingness to seek out contact.
2. Adonai Mitchell
   1. He might have diabetes, and he might be lazy, but AD is smooth. I thought he’d run a 4.55, and at that point I had him at 6 I believe. AD has sneaky athleticism and deceptive quickness, and a very encouraging frame to pair with this. While I don’t see a lot of flaws in his game, I will say that he has one of the worst analytical profiles I have ever seen.
3. Roman Wilson
   1. Wilson is my favorite player in the draft, and I have been waiting for him to join the NFL for years. While I am not a Michigan fan, I have watched a lot of Michigan and Ohio State games, and fell in love with Wilson’s play. He is an elite athlete, with a willingness to go up strong for balls, and is simply just good at the game of football. I believe he would have shown a lot more if he was on a more passing oriented offense.

Tier 4:
Tier 4 has three players who are both older prospects and also have questionable production profiles.

1. Ricky Pearsall
   1. Slick Rick is definitely slick. He has arguably the greatest catch in CFB history, and is a silky route runner with great athleticism and burst. He seems to have a great understanding of how to run routes. Pearsall is a 5 season player, with non-elite production in any of those years – however he has shown improvement in every one of those years. He is not the tenth best receiver in this class right now – I only have him this low because of his age. However, I don’t think he has the production or the film to strongly suggest that he’s better than any of the players I listed before, which is why the age can lower him. Tank Dell was a 24 year old rookie, but his film would be enough for me to raise him higher.
2. Xavier Legette
   1. Legette has elite speed paired with elite size. I will not say he has elite athleticism however. His agility is not nearly good enough for me to give him that title. This is where I feel people tend to misterm athleticism – by equating it to a size/speed combo. Legette also only had one year of elite production. Legette is great at the catch point, with solid hand technique and vertical ability, but he leaves a lot to be desired with his release and his hip flexibility. He is not yet a strong route runner. I don’t really mind his late breakout too much – he has a lack of refinement in his game that would explain this as he is a growing player, but here’s some good scouting: what I truly can’t deal with is his accent.
3. Malik Washington
   1. Washington is another late producer like Legette, with only elite production in his 5th year. However, I believe that was due to him playing his time out in an awful Northwestern offense. Washington left Northwestern not through a transfer, but because he finished his degree early. He might be small, but he is incredible at football, and offers elite YAC ability to pair with his excellent feel for zones and space. The only reason I have Washington this low (although it is not low) is because I know he will be overlooked in the NFL and will have a difficult path to success.

Tier 5:
The players in this tier will likely all have a role in the NFL, or at least the chance to have a role in the NFL.

1. Ja’Lynn Polk
   1. Polk bores me a bit, but he’s good. I believe he is a useful asset to any team in the NFL. He plays with a lot of grit, which teams should like, and is all around a solid and smart player.
2. Malachi Corley
   1. The self proclaimed “YAC King” is exactly that. In fact, his YAC ability is so good that it’s almost as if he was a running back playing receiver. Oh right. He is. That being said, Corley has the agility to become a great receiver. While his switch is probably due to wanting the longevity and paycheck associated with the position, I don’t doubt that he has the ability to make up for his late start. He’s not really there yet, so his athleticism only gets him this high.
3. Keon Coleman
   1. Coleman is in the classic “Alpha” mold. If you’re wondering why he’s so low, I just don’t like that mold. I don’t care about his 40 time, he seems fast enough to me. In my opinion, Coleman does not have the agility and hip flexibility required to run great routes. That’s why I just don’t see him learning route running. He offers elite vertical leaping ability, body control, and good hands to match this, but he’s not Mike Evans. I don’t think Coleman has no path to success in the NFL – he’s still a decent player, just not my kind of player. The landing spot will matter with this one.
4. Jermaine Burton
   1. I don’t like Burton. There’s just something about his face – he looks like a less creepy Spencer Rattler. However, I’d say he’s a good player. He has solid athleticism, and I believe he has the ability to run a variety of routes, despite working in a vertical offense. Burton has great hands, albeit a short catch radius, and plays very strong. There’s definitely things to like about his game – and who knows, maybe being a bad character is a good trait.
5. Javon Baker
   1. Baker strikes me as someone who loves football, with an alpha receiver mentality. He might know too much – while he has great route running, he sometimes seems to almost spam fakes and make unnecessary movements that leave me confused instead of the corner. That’s not really a big concern for me though. He is great at the catch point as well, showing great determination and body control. I’m not sure he has the athleticism to truly be elite, and while the Big 12 is a decent conference, the defensive backs in his film seemed to be mostly bums, but with a good landing spot I think he has the ability to shine. I’m rather surprised that he decided to transfer out of Alabama, but whatever, it worked out.
6. Jalen McMillan
   1. The much underrated and overlooked third brother. McMillan looks soft, but he has good athleticism and good flexibility. He’s also a good route runner with good body control. I’d say he’s good. With players like him, it really depends on how much the team that drafted him believes in him. I don’t doubt that it will be easy for him to get hidden in a deep WR room.

Tier 6:
Tier 6 are the guys who I think are good players but don’t think they will get a chance to show that, with play strength and size being concerns. I think they can work despite this, but I doubt NFL front offices will.

1. Jamari Thrash
   1. Thrash is a smooth player with great route savviness, but is complete trash when it comes to contact (easy pun intended). Physical corners can easily thrash him around during his routes.
2. Jacob Cowing
   1. Cowing probably has the highest likelihood of success among the three, as he possesses the best release package which is important for small receivers. However, he’s no Tank Dell. In fact, he IS Tank Dell, just worse at every aspect of the game. He’s arguably more athletic however, and showcases elite explosiveness.
3. Ainias Smith
   1. Explosive with quick feet, but is small and plays small. I think he has a lot of ability, but he’s not the type of player that NFL teams want to trust.

Tier 7:
Tier 7 contains players who don’t have it right now, but could have it with some development.

1. Tez Walker
   1. There was a lot of hope for Tez coming into the 2023 season, and he delivered. Delivered very little. While he showcased absolutely zero route running savvy, he has the elite athleticism to make up for this, and is not completely inflexible. I do want to blame the college football body and UNC for some of his failures, and he wasn’t really all that bad. I just don’t think he’s quite there yet.
2. Luke McCaffrey
   1. McCaffrey has great athleticism and elite lineage, but that’s about it. He wasn’t bad in college, but played for Rice. He’s in the middle of his learning curve for the position after converting from being a mediocre QB, and I’m sure he can figure it out – I’m not out on him.
3. Johnny Wilson
   1. Wilson is absolutely incredible for his size. He is a fluid athlete with solid speed, and more than decent route running. Unfortunately, at his size he needs to be excellent at the catch point and with contested catches. He is not. In fact, it’s his weakness – he is extremely soft, unlike his hands. He’s the odd case where I think he’d be much more successful if he dropped half a foot in height. If you combined the best of Johnny and Keon, you’d have a possible goat receiver.

Tier 8:
Tier 8 has guys who piqued my interest with their play, but are likely going nowhere. Gould is small, Bub Means is named Bub Means, Vele is an old man, and Coker is slow and played for Holy Cross.

1. Anthony Gould
2. Bub Means
3. Devaughn Vele
4. Jalen Coker

Tier 9 is all of the guys I haven’t watched enough of that didn’t make this list due to that.
Tier 10 consists of the players who are, in my humble opinion, bad.
Tier 10:

1. Brenden Rice
   1. My evaluation of Rice has nothing to do with his father. I truly do believe that he is the second worst receiver in the class. In fact, I think he will obviously get a shot because of his father, and that he has the work ethic and connections to improve dramatically as a player. However, as of right now, while he has solid hands, he runs everything in one gear, and it’s visually appalling. He stomps the ground as he runs, and while it seems like he has some understanding of route running techniques, it all goes to waste since he runs his routes as hard as possible.
2. Cornelius Johnson
   1. As I said earlier in my Roman Wilson evaluation, I have watched a lot of Michigan games. This means I watched his counterpart on the other side – Corn Johnson. In all my years of watching football, I have never seen a player worse than Corn. He is truly awful at the game. He has absolutely zero ball knowledge and route running ability. He’s actually pretty decent at the catch point, but not enough to make up for his terrible play in every other facet of the game. He somehow had Harbaugh’s trust to keep starting, so I still wouldn’t be surprised if he was drafted, but whatever team makes that decision has completely wasted a pick they could’ve otherwise spent trading for McCorkle Jones or some other washed up player.

Post-Draft Rankings and Comments:
Contrary to popular opinion, I believe that situation is actually very important regarding a wide receiver's career. It is worth noting that I actually did my pre-draft ranking writeups after the draft despite wording them as though they were written pre-draft, therefore the adjustments here are not new revelations, rather they are simply the changes I believe draft capital and landing spot make.

1. Marvin Harrison Jr.
   1. Great landing spot, bad franchise
2. Malik Nabers
   1. Mediocre landing spot, bad franchise with bad assets but good volume. Will play alongside WanDale Robinson, a player who also generates elite separation.
3. Rome Odunze
   1. Landing spot is alright, the franchise is bad but the team is set up well. Will be the WR3 to start however, but that should not necessarily hinder his career.
4. Xavier Worthy
   1. Very good landing spot with the best quarterback in the league, and another field stretcher already on the roster, suggesting that he might run routes with some variety and improve his game. It is not a perfect system for production however.
5. Brian Thomas Jr.
   1. Attached to a good, young QB, who should help each other. Thomas Jr was clearly drafted to slot into the alpha role, with Kirk taking the slot and Davis stretching the field. At the very least, Thomas will also be an elite field stretcher, really opening up things for Kirk and Engram underneath, as well as opening the box for Etienne. The franchise does not have a great history with receivers.
6. Roman Wilson
   1. Excellent, phenomenal landing spot. Wilson lands in another run-heavy offense as the clear WR2, from a team and staff that has been historically great with evaluating and developing receiver talent.
7. Ladd McConkey
   1. McConkey is presumably the current or soon-to-be WR1 in LA. The landing spot is definitely good amidst a weak WR corps, although I’m not fully certain about his ability to be the Alpha. Perhaps they expect something out of QJ? Palmer is solid but not spectacular.
8. Ricky Pearsall
   1. For his age, the spot isn’t ideal, but the capital is great. Pearsall is definitely a good player, and if one of Deebo or Aiyuk is traded (likely Deebo) he comes into a great role. I’d call it a good landing spot.
9. Troy Franklin
   1. The capital is horrible, and I feel teams have made a huge mistake here. Franklin is too nice and genuine of a guy to have that ‘chip on his shoulder’ effect from his fall, but he will definitely take his role seriously. With his talent, I see him slotting in as the WR2 on this offense early, especially with the Nix connection, but he has to beat out Mims. For the capital, it was definitely the best landing spot he could have got with a team that really wants him.
10. Ja’Lynn Polk
    1. New England is historically awful at wide receiver evaluation, but Polk is solid and will come into a WR room with no alpha and a rookie QB. Pop Douglas is a good slot receiver, and Bourne is alright, but that’s about it. I believe they should play a Polk - Douglas - Baker line, but Bourne will likely be starting, which is understandable.
11. Adonai Mitchell
    1. Awful landing spot. The worst he could have hoped for. AD has that chip on his shoulder, but he comes in as the WR3 in a role that is likely mostly field stretching. If there was actually a lot for him to learn, then this landing spot subtly becomes very good.
12. Keon Coleman
    1. I would argue that this is the best landing spot for any player in the draft. The capital is excellent, and the fit is excellent. Keon might not get any separation, but Josh Allen is exactly brain dead enough to just chuck it to him anyways. Very few other quarterbacks would have the confidence in him to simply target him despite being draped, and Allen is a very good one, who might be forced to pass to him considering how weak the room is. I believe Shakir and Kincaid are decent, and that Samuel might be better than Coleman, but Allen and the team will likely treat Coleman like the alpha, and this will be reflected in his targets. It also helps that Coleman is a very likable character, which might offset his bad at football accusations with great production on poor efficiency.
13. Xavier Legette
    1. It’s a new front office in Carolina, but I don’t really trust the pick. It doesn’t help my concerns when you consider Legette is also from Carolina, which might bias the selection, especially when everyone knew he was going there but nobody cared enough to try to get him over Carolina. On the plus side, he went to the only place where people can understand him, and he fits the room well alongside Diontae Johnson. He’ll probably play in a role that doesn’t suit his skillset, but he can succeed here if Bryce steps it up with an improved line.
14. Malachi Corley
    1. Good landing spot as a YAC slot player, while living with Rodgers. Definitely intriguing, although the franchise is bad so his development might be minimal.
15. Jermaine Burton
    1. Good landing spot imo, with room to learn the position and role and then replace Tee Higgins. Still don’t like the guy.
16. Javon Baker
    1. Lands in an open room with alright capital. Is the WR4 already imo, with an opportunity to earn the alpha role if he’s up for it.
17. Luke McCaffrey
    1. Great capital for the level of play he’s shown. He definitely has a role as a starter intended, although I hope they took him due to athleticism and not name (3rd is too high for it to be name value).
18. Devontez Walker
    1. Good spot to learn and possibly start while getting no targets.
19. Malik Washington
    1. Bad landing spot, and bad draft capital. Washington is fantastic, but he’s old and behind two great receivers, not to mention OBJ being signed (which I imagine means he will play). Washington could have started in the slot, but now he will have to wait and earn a role.
20. Jalen McMillan
    1. He’s the WR3 in Tampa, but Godwin will likely take the slot, which means he might be the WR4 unless they play him on the outside.
21. Jacob Cowing
    1. Deep corps with Pearsall taken ahead of him, but a good place to grow.
22. Jamari Thrash
    1. He has one great receiver ahead of him, and two alright receivers that I don’t believe he has the quality to surpass, but I think he can gap Cedric Tillman. There’s probably not much hope here.
23. Ainias Smith
    1. Smith can beat out Parris Campbell for the slot role, and while he doesn’t strike me as a consistent player, he can still ‘thrive’ for meager numbers under a great corps.
24. Bub Means
    1. The WR3 in the room is open, and by all means the job is his to take (that pun was actually unintentional I swear I only noticed it after writing it).
25. Brenden Rice
    1. He might be horrible but the WR room is completely open, and his late draft capital might make Papa Jerry step in and give him some instruction in how to play the position. There’s probably some sort of upside here.
26. Johnny Wilson
    1. He could definitely beat out Devante Parker who has the exact opposite skillset as a fellow big receiver, but the slot is the role that is open outside of AJ Brown and Smitty. The volume is also going to be low.
27. Anthony Gould
    1. The Colts landing spot doesn’t suddenly look better. Obvious depth role with no hope of ever starting.
28. Devaughn Vele
    1. I could see Payton really liking him, and him earning time, but he’s 26. I believe in him though, despite this ranking.
29. Jalen Coker
    1. Panthers are bad, undrafted is bad, I don’t see him getting a chance.
30. Cornelius Johnson
    1. I almost raised Corn higher because Harbaugh drafted him, and Harbaugh obviously knows more about him than I do, but then I remembered how bad he truly is. I insist that there’s no hope for him, he’s just awful.

Fantasy Football Rankings (only included plausible contributors):

1. Marvin Harrison Jr.
2. Malik Nabers
3. Ladd McConkey
4. Xavier Worthy
5. Keon Coleman
6. Rome Odunze
7. Brian Thomas Jr.
8. Xavier Legette
9. Roman Wilson
10. Troy Franklin
11. Ja’Lynn Polk
12. Adonai Mitchell
13. Ricky Pearsall
14. Malachi Corley
15. Jermaine Burton

. My bf and I are 2 years in. He and his ex broke up 3 years ago. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago. My ex and I stayed friends after breaking up. My bf had a problem with it. So much so that he forced me to delete his number, all his pictures and block him in order to date him. I did it. It was a hard choice to make because my ex and I were childhood friends. But I decided I rather have my bf than a friendship. Mind you my ex and I dated for a few months after being friends forever. I call him my ex because that’s what he was but for 17 years before that , he was my best friend
Last month he told me that he was thinking about the past and felt like he needed to apologize to his ex because he found out that she had cancer. A mutual friend mentioned it . Somehow he felt responsible. Idk why he felt responsible but whatever. Despite the fact that he was uncomfortable with me talking to my ex I allowed him to get his closure. He did it.
He said he felt a lot better. And he was done. Then yesterday it was her birthday. I knew it was her birthday because she has the same birthday as his mom he mentioned that before. And for some reason I asked him if he wished her a happy birthday. He asked why I knew it was her birthday. Told him my memory was long. He said yes. I then asked why he didn’t tell me. He said it didn’t mean anything. And he has no plans of talking to her . He only said it because she said she didn’t want to make it to 26. He said he was happy she made it.
I’m not unreasonable like there was nothing wrong with the message. But, he didn’t want me talking to my ex at all about anything. He even got upset when my ex called me to tell me his mom who was like a mom to me died. So now I’m very upset about him talking to her in any capacity. Honestly idc what she’s going through. That’s not his concern. And he said exes belong in the past no matter what. So I’d like him to keep his own rules . Personally if he didn’t essentially force my ex out my life because of his own jealousy I wouldn’t have cared but he did. So I’m not having it. Am I wrong for that?

This isn't necessarily a theory I believe, I just find myself thinking about this case often, and the perplexing body of facts surrounding whatever happened that night. Given we will never know the true story - we can only base our speculations around things that have been documented in one way or another, I have a theory on why this case is so confusing: Everyone involved was blackout drunk.
Let's try to imagine this from all perspectives:
-Let's say you're Brian Albert
You're at the waterfall bar. Everyone seems to be having a good time. You're hanging out with your extended family, who are all close. It's your son's 23rd birthday and he's hanging out with his friends, several of which are family as well. Basically life is good. Then you don't remember much. Jen McCabe wakes you up the next morning telling you John is dead on your lawn. You have no idea why. You see that you apparently called Brian Higgens that night at 2:30am, AND he called you back and you picked up. You don't remember this happening. Holy shit, what the fuck happened?
-Let's say you're Jen McCabe
You're at the waterfall bar. Everyone seems to be having a good time. You're hanging out with your extended family and your neighbor and his girlfriend. Everyone is having a good time. Then you don't remember much. You wake up to a call from John's Niece, who says Karen is freaking out about John. Karen grabs the phone and is completely frantic. She keeps screaming and saying John didn't come home and they got in a fight and they had to find John. Since you blacked out, you check your phone's history to try to piece together the night. You realize you made a bunch of calls and texts, and searched how long it would take for someone to die in the cold. That's weird. You decide to delete all this information because you have no idea what happened, and perhaps just from a psychological standpoint you find it a bit concerning.
-Let's say your Karen Read
You're at the waterfall bar. Everyone seems to be having a good time. You're hanging out with your boyfriend and his friend group. Then you don't remember much. You wake up at around 4am and John isn't home. You send him some texts and calls and he doesn't respond. You vaguely remember getting into an argument with John. What if something bad happened to him? Panic starts swelling inside and you realize you need to get in touch with someone from that night. Your niece has Jen McCabe's number, so you ask your niece to call her. When Jen picks up you quickly grab the phone and say you need to find John. You're panicking. As you leave John's house in a panic, you accidentally crack your tail light. When you get to Jen's house you notice the broken tail light and start freaking out. Now it really looks like you hit John. At this point you're in a state of complete panic. You insist the group head to the Albert home, where you find John's body. You have no idea what happened, but you're worried you hit him with your car because you saw that your tail light was broken. You're devastated.
I know this sounds like a silly idea, but I think it explains why the testimony is all over the place, and why it feels like we don't really know what could have happened. I can only type so much so feel free to post your own juxtapositions of witness testimony with this theory in mind to see if we can piece it together.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair. March 19, 2024
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS

So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe

OOP

He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care

~
List-and-dumbfound

The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other

OOP

He is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid

DrNefariousMcFarious

He’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.

OOP

No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think

I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail. Mar 22, 2024
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport

You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.

OOP

Yeah it was a big mistake

NEW UPDATE

He celebrated Mother’s Day with his mistress and her son May 12, 2024
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks

Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger

OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress

Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Well today was the day, that the 3 year relationship with my child’s father ended. We have NOT had a healthy relationship but it has only gotten worse and worse. When my daughter was 3 months old, we made the decision to physically seperate, but stay together, so we could go to therapy and make sure our child wasn’t around arguing - fast forward my daughter is 15 months and my baby and I have been living at my moms AND him and I NEVER made it to therapy. . Grateful I have enough support to be with her here and have been able to not have to work and have time to figure things out. Regardless, he used to be 100% loyal to me. I found out last summer he rode in a car with a girl alone, (in LA when he went with his family, which he blindsided me on even going there to begin with), so we were fighting when he went, and sure enough he rode alone in a car with his sisters friend who tried to fuck him multiple times in the past… not only that in LA he gave a girl his number. He lied to me about it for 8-9 months and I forgave him. He told me last week his balls have been itchy, and that he was going to get an STD test and to “tell him before he gets the results” God is my witness - I never cheated - I have lied to him quite a bit in the course of our relationship but mostly about past stuff, (but not even HALf as much as he has lied to me!) he told me if I lied again, he would ghost me, today I woke up with the flu bug my daughter had and asked him to come and help. He said he would, then ghosted me and answered shit face drunk and come to find out his sister was having her bday party. My daughter wasn’t even invited there as she has been to everyone else’s birthday, and his mom told me he was too drunk to help with his child. He answers the phone, tells me he knows what I did?????, and said Jamie (another one of his sisters friends he has slept with before we got together) was the only one who could watch our daughter. He hung up on me. His mom condoned his behavior, and wouldn’t even let me drop my daughter off so I could throw up and be sick without worrying about her)… and sure enough, I go to his sisters friend from LA instagram, and sure enough she’s in town, and at the party. I have no idea what I did but if the test came back positive god knows it’s from HIM! Then that’s it. I blocked him and now will be looking for lawyers. Where do I even go from here… ???

Him (28M) & me (24F) have NOT had a healthy relationship but it has only gotten worse and worse. When my daughter was 3 months old, we made the decision to physically seperate, but stay together, so we could go to therapy and make sure our child wasn’t around arguing - fast forward my daughter is 15 months and my baby and I have been living at my moms AND him and I NEVER made it to therapy. . Grateful I have enough support to be with her here and have been able to not have to work and have time to figure things out. Regardless, he used to be 100% loyal to me. I found out last summer he rode in a car with a girl alone, (in LA when he went with his family, which he blindsided me on even going there to begin with), so we were fighting when he went, and sure enough he rode alone in a car with his sisters friend who tried to fuck him multiple times in the past… not only that in LA he gave a girl his number. He lied to me about it for 8-9 months and I forgave him. He told me last week his balls have been itchy, and that he was going to get an STD test and to “tell him before he gets the results” God is my witness - I never cheated - I have lied to him quite a bit in the course of our relationship but mostly about past stuff, (but not even HALf as much as he has lied to me!) he told me if I lied again, he would ghost me, today I woke up with the flu bug my daughter had and asked him to come and help. He said he would, then ghosted me and answered shit face drunk and come to find out his sister was having her bday party. My daughter wasn’t even invited there as she has been to everyone else’s birthday, and his mom told me he was too drunk to help with his child. He answers the phone, tells me he knows what I did?????, and said Jamie (another one of his sisters friends he has slept with before we got together) was the only one who could watch our daughter. He hung up on me. His mom condoned his behavior, and wouldn’t even let me drop my daughter off so I could throw up and be sick without worrying about her)… and sure enough, I go to his sisters friend from LA instagram, and sure enough she’s in town, and at the party. I have no idea what I did but if the test came back positive god knows it’s from HIM! I am left confused and hurt.
TLDR: I got ghosted randomly by my child’s father.

Yesterday. on the day of my birthday, I saw news that allegedly AB had seen my post on Star Wars. I thought that was far-fetched since AB said someone sent him a message calling him obsessed with Anakin (my exact wording) but I only posted about it here and did not reach out directly to AB
I guess I was wrong because shortly after my account was banned/under review....And you did it at my birthday dinner... thankfully I was able to log back in today but I'm going to be honest, I thought it was over for sure and made my peace with it. but now that I have this second wind I decided to take it
So remember remember, the day of my birthday, of gunpowder treason and plot, I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.
Here I want to talk about H3's practice of knowingly inciting indirect harassment and threats,, the number of times Dan has had to cut off Ethan's claims to not be aware or responsible for the actions of his rabid fanbase makes the argument for me. that and the reports of harassment made by certain public figures that have had the misfortune of crossing paths with Ethan and his goons.
going after people who vocally don't agree with him, borderline blackmailing them for a retraction and apology. weather it is a twitter account like misha, or fellow YouTuber like Jake Doolitle, whose only crime was to not have a good sense of humor and being condescending, going on online crusades to destroy their reputations and livelihood claiming moral high ground while justifying genocide, and justifying your pedo-rapist-human-trafficking friends with "friends will be friends"
targeting this sub and trying to shut down any avenue of unflattering nuanced conversation and monopolize being a giant dick
the crew is not only the workforce that keeps the show alive, they are also the force that keeps the racists happy by offering the pass,
I don't expect anyone to be the embodiment of morality but come on, you don't need to be one to see a genocide unfold and want it to stop. you do not need to be a perfect angel to see the absolute devastation and ethnic cleansing unfolding and fearing being on that position, in the shoes of the oppressed forced to witness their entire families be wiped out in the most brutal of ways.
ok, I guess they no longer spread hate and misinformation on Palestine, they claimed they won't discuss it any longer and that leaves us with the sh3tshow that is leftover today.
might as well do sleeping streams
Speed run:

• Teddy Fresh steals designs like H3 steals content
• AB disrespects his wife, friends and family for internet clout
• Olivia is just around slaying and hey-ing like an NPC , also her research game is weak, like her reading comprehension
• Dan is in such a high horse he needs an oxygen mask just to handle the altitude.
• Ethan, is racist Zionist amongst many other things
• Hila married for the greencard
• Zach,,,, just wow,..
• Love rejoicing as a babe in the cradle in the arms of daddy Ethan and mommy Holda because tomorrow belongs to him
• Lena, Ian and Sams participation is very limited so its like whatever.

so put down the knitting. the book and the broom, its time for a holiday

My fiancé and I bought our first house last year — yay! It was built in 1951 and was sold to us with a “finished basement” and for a very short period of time after purchasing, it was. Then the water pooling started. It started slow, then soon after whenever it rained water would seep under the walls into puddles. It’s reached a point now where it would be unsafe to not get this issue under control.
We have spoken to a number of waterproofing companies and professional landscape companies, but both tell us their way is best and there is no comparable stories online that help us make this decision.
From what we’ve been told by these companies, it looks as though our house may not have been built with the basement originally. It potentially was built with a crawl space and turned into a garage then a basement. We took down some drywall and found about 3 feet of space on 2 sides with about 3-4 feet of dirt inside. We also found a basement wall with bowing and large cracks but more on that later. Most of all we found a ton of evidence of mold and water saturation along foot boards, studs, cement blocks etc. We are looking into legal options as we have had almost everyone who came to give an estimate tell us they think the previous owner was aware of the issue and was covering it up by “finishing” the basement with drywall and paint to hide cracked walls, mold, and water damage.
We just need help trying to decide what to do… My fiancé and I don’t really have any family to help so we had to clean out our whole 401k with a hardship withdrawal. We don’t want to pick the wrong thing and then be broke and still have this issue. Not to mention a few weeks ago on my fiancés birthday weekend, we had a septic issue that already costed us $8,000. (Worst birthday gift ever he said).
The exterior grading company is quoting us $12,000 to: - Remove bushes, concrete pad, concrete side walk. - Reshape, contour, raise elevation and slope away from home on 4 all sides, pipes to street s - Install 24 inch catch basin - Seed fertilizer and straw area rework. They claim it will fix the problem and we will be as good as new because water will no longer be getting into the basement.
On the interior side, we have had several quotes ranging anywhere from $16,000 - $25,000. - $18,000 for sump pump, full 4 wall interior drain channel, wall barrier and discharge line. This doesn’t fix the cracking foundation wall - $25,000 fix cracked wall and 360 all the above - $16,000 fix cracked wall and just add a sump pump with a small channel on just one wall. - $8,000 only fix crack wall, no waterproofing.
Here’s the kicker. That last 16k estimate came with a diagram the guy made to explain why the other guys exterior method won’t work and it would not fix our problem. Basically, the exterior grading can’t go deeper than the footer so the exterior grading will not stop intrusion below the basement slab or inner block wall and that it would help but not fix the issue. He said he’s not trying to make a sale but if I do go with the other guy to get in writing that “their system will completely solve my water intrusion issue and that exterior work will not compromise the already failing wall in the basement”.
At this point absolutely no idea what to do. We have to fix the cracked wall. We already have to spend another $5,000 fixing the water damage, mold, moisture and humidity issue but are lost on what to do about waterproofing.
What would you do? This set back has been a financial nightmare significantly pushing back plans for a wedding and children.
TLDR: Company A) Exterior grading/excavating/shaping around house perimeter, catch basin. “Keep water from getting inside instead of just guiding it out when it’s already inside” for 12k VS Company B) Interior sump pump, channel, discharge, wall fix, “Actually solve the problem by collecting water from all areas including under concrete slab and pump out for 16k. No idead what to do. 401k hardship withdrawal, tight budget. Super stressed. What would you do?
UPDATE! - (With Pictures) Including a link to pictures of the diagram and other trouble areas. https://imgur.com/gallery/basement-trouble-DT6NAhg?s=sms

I visited this beautiful country between May 1 - 11, but was not prepared for the amount of tourism, which I must say ultimately left me a little sour about the experience. We stuck with all the major attractions and sights so I know we shouldn’t be surprised by the crowds, but I’ve still never seen tourism at this level. That said, I may have had a better time if I didn't try to pack everything in as much as I did.
Our itinerary was:
Day 1: Land in Milan
Day 2: Train from Milan to Lake Como
Day 3: Train from Lake Como to Cinque Terre (my favorite part of the trip)
Day 5: Train from Cinque Terre to Florence
Day 8: Train from Florence to Rome
Day 10: Train from Rome back to Milan for our departing flight the next day
Lake Como and Cinque Terre (CT) were my favorite parts that I wish I allotted more time for.
While Lake Como is beautiful and I wish we had more time to explore some spots I had saved, it did feel a little soulless. We stayed in Varenna and took the ferry to Bellagio. Both areas feel like resort towns that exist solely for tourism. Other areas might have a less catering vibe. Also, the number of young women taking shots for the 'gram and giving you dirty looks because you ruined their 20-minute photoshoot is nauseating.
The train that runs between the 5 towns in CT gets packed to the brim with people during peak hours (~10 a.m. - 5 p.m.). On our arrival day I tried to get off the train for our final stop and I literally got stuck between people; I was able to lift my feet off the ground for a few seconds and not get anywhere like a cartoon character.
We visited CT to hike the Blue Path and no regrets there. Absolutely stunning and the only time we didn't feel overwhelmed with people (started hiking around 8 a.m. in Monterosso). But if you're just taking the train between towns you'll do almost as much hiking from the train stations to the main parts of all 5 towns. The only one we didn’t properly visit was Manarola so maybe that town has a short walk from the train station? I think there are vans/buses that take people from some of the train stations into town, but you'll be waiting amongst crowds and nothing is clearly noted.
Florence: we stayed right near the Ponte Vecchio and I do not recommend. Again, the number of people and crowds ruin it. I thought it would be nice/convenient staying near the Uffizi and the bridge, but it wasn't worth it. Unless you’re shopping for jewelry, the bridge can be much more appreciated from a distance. The location also isn't ideal because no matter what I tried we couldn't get a taxi; I downloaded apps, called taxi hubs, tried Uber, but no one would come to our location or offer alternative pick up spots. The city is very walkable, but we came down with food poisoning so by the end I was hoping to grab a taxi to the train station to alleviate some of the dejectedness I was feeling. We visited the Uffizi, Accademia, and the Piazzale Michelangelo, but I was happy to leave Florence. I felt like I couldn't escape the smell of cigarettes the entire time.
Rome: I think by this point were a bit weary from the food poisoning, crowds, and the amount of walking we did with our backpacks. Thankfully though no issues getting taxis/Ubers around Rome. Despite what people say about Trastevere being "overrated" now, stay there. It's easily the nicest part of Rome. My second recommendation would be Prati. We had tickets to visit the Vatican Museum and I wish we made the effort but this was the last leg of the trip and we were just over it so we spent our full day in Rome walking to all the sights: Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Roman Forum, and Janiculum Hill.
Rome was nice and I enjoyed it more than Florence, but it also felt run down. We had a running joke that ambulances were following us because we could not escape the sirens. I know, it’s all part of history and maybe I’m just not sophisticated enough to appreciate its historical magnitude, but honestly, pass.
Public transit: Getting on ferries and trains felt like a fight each time which added some physical and mental fatigue. I highly recommend sticking to high-speed trains if possible because you can reserve your seat; it doesn’t matter if you book first class or standard, they’re basically the same. Trains where you don’t reserve your, good luck. We stood for 1.5hrs from CT to Florence CRAMMED in. Each time the train stopped more people would squeeze in but eventually we had to stop people from boarding.
The trains were occasionally running a couple minutes late and there was a 24hr strike during our stay but nothing that impacted our trip. Don’t feel like you must show up for your train more than ~10 minutes in advance, your train’s platform number likely won’t be displayed until about 5 – 10 minutes out. You’ll just stand around unnecessarily stressing yourself out otherwise.
Was this a magical trip? No, not really. Would I visit Italy again? Possibly with some time and with plans to stick to the more natural scenery. I did want to visit the Italian Dolomites but they were still snow covered during our visit.
I think another factor that contributed to it not being the “magical” experience you hope for is we had to stick to schedules the entire time and that’s not a typical fun vacation for me; whether it was the trains, museum/attraction entrance times, or dinner reservations, we frequently had somewhere we had to be. This type of trip didn’t allow for spontaneity. E.g. when we visited Scotland we rented a car and were able to visit random castles and museums without prep work or fighting crowds. Perhaps I could’ve had more fun or spontaneity by seeing less (I definitely wouldn’t want a car within Florence or Rome proper but I think the countryside/smaller towns would be okay), but when you only get so much time off for work, you try to squeeze it all in.
Food: Everyone comes for the main attraction which of course is the various pastas, but Italy does so much better than pasta. Yeah, I said it. The chicken I had there on two separate occasions from two different restaurants? Immaculate. I’ll never have more perfectly cooked chicken again. The deli meats? So flavorful. I ordered a yogurt with lemon and honey in CT (where they grow a lot of lemons) and I’ll think of that fondly for years to come. I also had a fantastic affogato in Florence.
As I mentioned, we did get food poisoning which can happen while traveling, but I did notice unless you’re going to a proper sit down restaurant, you might see people handling your food in ways that are unappetizing. In cafes and sandwich shops and quick bite places like that you won’t see food handlers using gloves and you’ll likely have dirty cups/plates/utensils. Not a big deal for some, not for me though.
We avoided the super touristy areas for our real dinners, but while the pasta was done well, the red sauce just wasn’t hitting for either of us.
I apologize if this comes off as a less than idyllic portrayal of Italy. It’s a beautiful country that is worth a visit, but I wanted to share my experience and maybe highlight it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.
Edit: formatting

Sorry about format, as I'm on mobile. I'd get some snacks and a drink, cause this is gonna be a decent sized one. This is pretty much about my entire life. Also, I have mental health and sometimes add too many details to things. I kinda over share, so apologise if that happens. Me(F) my mom(F) sister(F)
My entire life, I have felt less than when it comes to my mom. It's pretty obvious my sister is the favorite child. Ever since she was born, I was put on a back burner. Then my brother was born, and it got even worse. (My brother is an amazing man, so I don't fault him for anything at all. He's pretty much my unofficial child. I will die for him.) When I was 3, my bio dad died. I did get checks every month for survivors checks, but when I turned 18, I never saw any of it. I understand that she needed it for me while I was a minor, but once I turned 18, it was supposed to actually go to me. I was still in my last year of high school, so it didn't stop til I graduated. If I would have gotten those checks, I would be way farther in life. My mom got with my siblings dad when I was around 4 or 5. That's where the abuse came in. She got pregnant with my sister, and pretty much made me the clown. My sister's dad was a Dr*g addict, and would go on binges, leaving me home alone to watch my siblings, while Mom was at work. I was 6 at this point. Granted, she did call the police and he got charged with 3 counts of child endangerment. (My brother was born at this point). Then, she stayed with him, even though he left us like that. When I was 9 was when I found out about my dad. She wasn't even going to tell me about him, but she had to, cause my grandma filed for grandparents rights. Mom didn't even tell me. Siblings dad is the one to sit me down. That's when my mental health started to really show. I was 9 and finding out the man that I called dad, wasn't actually my dad, and my real dad is never meet cause he's dead. My soul broke that day. Fast forward a few months and I get a puppy for my birthday. It pooped in the house, and G(siblings dad) was so irate, he left the puppy outside in the middle of the night, during the winter... He killed my dog. It was maybe 15° F that night. I woke up the next morning to mom telling me the dog ate paint off the wall ... She did, but the bite marks were there from a week prior. I was 9, not stupid. I saw through her lies. Fast forward again. They end up separating. He had gotten upset, then kidnapped my siblings taking them to a completely different state. He finally came back, and was in jail for 6 months. After he got out .. she got back with him. The final straw happened a few years later. When I was probably 8-10 can't remember exactly how old, I was having issues with my math homework. I have major dyslexia with numbers(can't remember the actual name) and math was my worst subject because of that. I was frustrated cause I just couldn't understand the math homework, so I crumpled the paper. (I was a kid. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did.) She got up, and started to hit me. She was smacking my arms, and had me pinned down to the couch. I turned my head and she hit my nose hard enough for it to gush blood. (Granted I could flick my nose and it'd bleed, but I digress). Then, I had "played" with a belt with her and G, and one of them(can't remember who) was hitting me with another one. I didn't understand at the time, but we was all smacking each other with belts, tryna hit the others the hardest. (My lord I just realized how bad that actually was.) I went to school the next day, and had a few welts on my arms. Went to the nurse for some ice, and got asked who did it. I explained what happened, and cps got called. I didn't know, but I got home and got screamed at by G. He was in my face, so close I could smell his breath and feel his spittle hitting my face. Then my mom said it wasn't them, but my sister who scratched me. (It wasn't a scratch. It was a welt clearly from a belt.) There's probably more, but my brain made me forget to protect my sanity. Fast forward, she is finally away from him. Then she gets with my now step dad. I was 12 at the time. He was an okay guy. He has 5 kids. Well, of course I was the built in babysitter. I am the oldest out of all 8 of us kids. I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends as much as I should have been growing up, cause I was always the one to be the second parent to them. That's when my mental health started to get severe. I started self harming at 13. It would get so bad. Nothing of significance really happened between then til I was 16. (That I can remember. Thanks brain for protecting me.) I get into highschool. Freshman year. I'm finally able to start hanging out with friends more often. I end up having sex(I was coerced, wanted to wait til I was on bc, but I finally gave in. Shouldn't have, but it's whatever. I'm over it now.) Wasn't on birth control and didn't wear a condom. Had a scare I may have been pregnant. Mom finds out, gets a test and takes me to my grandma's to take it. She berates me in front of my grandparent and my aunt and cousins. Thankfully it was negative. Fast forward to when I was 16. Got my first job. Finally I'm old enough to make my own money. Well, I can't even spend my checks the way I wanted to. Majority of them went to her. I gave her prob 85 percent of my checks. I wanted to save for a car. Couldn't. (Not that it mattered. Didn't get my license til I was 23... I'm 27 now.) Kept getting my temps, only to never practice. Yet, when my sister is 18, she takes her out to drive and helps her get her license. But, whatever. Finally I graduate, and all I get is a gift card(I'm thankful of course. I'm not stingy, I just have envy from all the things my sister got, that I didn't.) Sister got a full blown party. Every single person I have been romantically with, she would put in my head that they aren't good enough. So much so, I thought I would never be with someone who genuinely loved me. (I have that now, so shout out to my amazing fiance.) I'm still cutting on a daily basis at this point. Cut from the ages of 12 to 20. I'd still be, if I wasn't with my fiance. (I was didn't sewer slide myself and actually did it right this time, anyway. Tried 5 times. Thankfully I failed each time.) I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression and ADHD. Not once did she take me to get health. She always dismissed me when I would try and talk to her about it, so I just kept to myself. It took my fiance's mom to take me and get me the help I needed. I barely graduated cause I just didn't care in 9th and 10th grade. I felt like I wasn't going to live past high school anyway, so why should I care? 11th grade comes up and working had actually given me motivation to keep going. (Plus I started smoking the devil's lettuce, so I was feeling better mentally.) Turn 18 and I move out. Ended up losing my job I had then, and go down a spiral. I got addicted to alcohol and pills for a couple of weeks. Not enough for withdrawals, but it was still bad. Thankfully I woke up one day and realized what I was doing. (I'll give her this, I called and she immediately came to get me so I could get out of that situation.) Fast forward more, I move out again, but just down the street. I'm now 19 and start dating my now fiance. We have been together 8 years and I barely talk to her anymore. Esp this past year. I don't really message her first anymore. I've gone 6 or more months without talking to her. Shoot, without talking to anyone in my family. Fiance's parents get me the mental health I needed. Get diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I've told Mom I have bipolar since I was 16 and she just dismissed me, saying it's my hormones. (Jokes on her) About 4 years in, she starts telling me I need to find someone else to be with. He isn't good enough for me. (Yeah, like the rest weren't. No one is good enough for her.) It gets to the point I had to tell her and my sister both to stop, or I was gonna cut them out of my life completely. (Should have, looking back, but we learn.) They stop for a while. Sister is now showing her true colors. She's a narcissist and gaslighter, just like her father. She cannot own up to her mistakes, what so ever. She gets into an accident, not her fault. She gets into a fight she started, not her fault. Can't hold down a job, not yet fault. (I've had trouble holding down a job as well, but I'm getting better. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and am in meds, so I'm not feeling impulsive as bad. Id switch jobs pretty frequently, due to the better sounding one. It's still affecting me to this day, but I'm seeing a change in my mind. Just gotta push through a bit more. Not blaming it on my ADHD, but the disease doesn't make it easier.) Mom has gotten sister a job with her at every single job she's had the past 4 years. Sister ruins it for mom, cause sister can't stand mom not paying attention to her, or doing everything for sister. Sister has bad anxiety, and uses it as an excuse to keep mom working. Sister wants all the pay of being a manager, without actually doing the manager duties. Sister always tells me I need to dress better. Says i "need to look more presentable and not like a slob". I wear skinny jeans and a Tshirt usually. Frequently, I'll wear sweats if I'm just going to moms and not going out. I like being comfy. Constantly criticizing me for every single thing I do. Finally mom says she realizes how bad she has treated me throughout my life. I forgave her a long time ago. Gets to the point mom says she wouldn't have anything to do with sister, if she wasn't her kid. Thought things were gonna change. Clearly not. Mom and sister both get another new job, the same job. Again. It's like nothing has changed since that conversation. Still barely talk to her, and everything. Last time I hung out with them, it was for only 3 hours. THREE HOURS. yet, I had anxiety and panic attacks from that small amount of time, for the next 3 days... I can't do this anymore, but I feel SO freaking guilty for even considering this. I love my mom and sister. I want them in my life, but I can't keep feeling like this. My mental health is always needing to be restarted after being around them. It's like I go back to that 12 year old me and want to self harm all over again. I'm now almost 10 years clean from it. There is no longer any scars, and I'm happier now. I just can't help but to feel I should just suck it up and "get over it". I know this is rediculously long, so if you've read this far, thank you. I just need some other people's perspective that isn't biased and I feel you guys are the best chance for that. I'm really struggling on what to do and feel so guilty for even typing this stuff out. My worst fear is disappointing her, yet I do every day. I also really hate confrontation. I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it, but I just can't anymore. I've always wondered how life would be if my dad was alive. I don't remember him, but I can still say I miss him. I miss the opportunities that I didn't get growing up.
Thank you guys. I'll take whatever you guys throw at me. I just want to see if my feelings are valid or not. This is literally causing me pain. I need help.

The View from Oregon – 289
Re: Scientia sub specie illuminatatis
Friday 17 May 2024
Dear Friends,
In the past several newsletters I have discussed the lack of a science of science, and some of the ramifications of this absence. Another consequence of the absence of a science of science is the selective way in which science develops, and this in turn leads to Danilevsky’s philosophy of science, which acknowledges that science can be different in different social milieux. In other words, science is relative to the scientific community that practices science. Kuhn comes to an analogous conclusion, though for Kuhn it is the diachronic relativity of science that emerges from a history of scientific revolutions triggered by model crises and paradigm shifts. Kuhn’s work continues to be debated, are there are significant differences of interpretation that keep alive the controversy as to whether paradigm shifts are rational or irrational. (Why not both by turns?)
Danilevsky presents us with the prospect of the synchronic relativity of science, in which paradigms differ not down through historical time, but across ethnic communities. This strikes at the heart of Enlightenment universalism, but, as I have tried to argue in these newsletters, Enlightenment ideology is not intrinsically scientific, but for a time Enlightenment thinkers made common cause with the sciences as a way both to advance their interests and to fight the common enemy of traditionalism. But scientists themselves have so completely internalized Enlightenment ideology that, even if the Enlightenment can abandon science, scientists cannot abandon the Enlightenment. That science is the same, that it must be the same, for all who practice it, seems to be an unspoken presupposition of science practised sub specie illuminatatis.
I don’t know of any analytical philosophers who have taken up Danilevsky’s argument, even if only to refute it. Nor do I know of any analogous arguments, though my knowledge of contemporary philosophy of science is far from exhaustive. The closest we come to Danilevsky in the mainstream of Anglo-American analytical philosophy of science is the debate over Kuhn’s philosophy of science, which evades some of the most troubling aspects of Danilevsky’s account. But in the absence of a science of science, we cannot definitively exclude Danilevsky’s account, just as we cannot exclude the role of personalities in the development of science (the focus of last week’s newsletter), nor can we exclude the possibility of alternative sciences that explain as much of the world as our familiar sciences, but which are largely disjoint from the familiar sciences. This latter possibility is related as an anecdote in Eugene Wigner’s “The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics in the Natural Sciences,” which I have quoted many times (though, strangely, apparently not in these newsletters, as I searched back several years just now and didn’t find this quoted, though I could have sworn that I have referenced this so many times my readers may be tired to hearing of it).
Another problem potentially soluble by a science of science: every special science undergoes its own crisis in its turn as it is forced to recognize that it cannot define either the object of its research or the fundamental theoretical terms it employs. There was the crisis in the foundations of mathematics, the crisis in physics, the crisis in psychology, the replication crisis (which falls hardest on social psychology, but which leaves few disciplines unscathed), the crisis in cosmology, and no doubt further crises yet to come. Some of these crises resemble each other, suggesting analogous structural problems within the sciences, while other crises seem to be highly specific to a particular subject matter (as with the crisis in cosmology generated by diverging measures of the Hubble constant). Further research into crises may reveal a deeper commonality, or may reveal each crisis to uniquely supervene on the objects of knowledge distinctive to each science.
The above assumes that a science of science would foreclose upon these troubling scenarios we would prefer not to contemplate. I think we can safely say that we have excluded some unwelcome scenarios for science, and this implies some rudimentary foundations of a science of science, and I think that if the project of a science of science ever came about, i.e., if it ever became a scientific research program on its own—or perhaps a meta-scientific research program—it would gradually foreclose upon the paradoxes of science, excluding them one by one, first taking care of the relatively simple problems, and then moving on to the more difficult ones. We don’t yet even know what the hardest problems are, or what they will be, when we earnestly turn toward formulating a science of science. It is all terra incognita to us.
In the absence of a science of science, however, we do have something to go on, and that is the record of the most successful special sciences, which, through their utility and fruitfulness, have provided a model for the other sciences to follow. And follow they do. A successful scientific discipline spurs imitation in the other special sciences, with the methods and the research program and theoretical structures copied. Science, then, has recourse to analogy. Later sciences are constructed along the lines of earlier successful sciences, and with good reason. The successful sciences have resolved many or most of their problems, and their methods have proved to be a successful way to derive knowledge from the empirical world.
But analogy itself is a theoretical problem. It has no standing as a formal principle of reasoning, and empirically it forces us into the kind of metaphysical speculation that most scientists hate—reflections on the uniformity of nature and such like. If nature is uniform, then a scientific methodology for the investigation of nature can be uniform, and we can know that it is (or will be) as effective in one region of experience as in another region of experience. Proof of this, however, is a metaphysical proof, and not anything scientific in the usual sense.
I should not belabor this idea of the absence of a science of science without acknowledging that it was, of course, the traditional idea that philosophy was the science of science, or, more narrowly, philosophical logic as it was elaborated prior to the mathematization of logic, that was understood to be the science of science, or, as it was also commonly known, the theory of science. Many logical works were called the theory of science, as, for example, Bernard Bolzano’s four volume Theory of Science—Wissenschaftslehre—which was completed in 1837, but the first complete English translation of which did not appear until 2014. In the meantime, between 1837 and 2014, logic, philosophy, and science all underwent rapid growth, and even, we could say, directional growth, that took them in a developmental direction of elaboration that was not anticipated prior to this time.
We can imagine a counterfactual history of logic (and of science) in which logic developed linearly, and did not experience a sudden growth along with a sudden realignment, gradually converging upon the ideal of a theory of science imagined by logicians like Bolzano. While mathematical logic transformed both logic and mathematics both, what was lost in the elaboration of mathematical logic was its connection to this traditional function of logic as the science of science. Moreover, the internal integration of logic was lost, though, it must be observed, other forms of integration appeared as logic was reconstructed analogously to mathematics.
Lately I have been thinking how, with the advent of mathematical logic and analytical philosophy, theory of meaning and theory of reference bifurcated, and with this bifurcation the inverse relationship between the two, explicitly recognized in traditional logic, was lost. Traditional logic asserts that as intension expands, extension narrows, and as extension expands, intension narrows. Intuitively it is easy to see that this is the case: a highly definite meaning applies only to a very few referents, while a generic meaning applies to a great many more referents. But with the development of mathematical logic and analytical philosophy, the theory of meaning and the theory of reference developed in different directions.
What happened? The whole of Western civilization was redirected and realigned by the industrial revolution. Some years ago I wrote about how the industrial revolution essentially hijacked other developments that were already taking place, and which therefore did not have the opportunity to come to a natural fruition because industrial change was so rapid and so catastrophic. I called this the preemption hypothesis (and gave it a further application in Late-Adopter Spacefaring Civilization: The Preemption that Didn’t Happen). We can understand preemption as a more generic historical process in which one historical process that is aggressively expansive overtakes another historical process that is slower and more gradual. An invasive weedy species of cognition expands universally and crowds out endemic species of cognition, driving them to extinction, and leaving us with a philosophical monoculture and its attendant disadvantages.
The kind of industrial civilization we might have gotten had the industrial revolution been an industrial evolution instead of a revolution, unfolding over millennia, as it is likely that the development of agriculture developed, would have been dramatically different. And the industrial revolution spawned revolutions in every adjacent sphere of life and thought. The preemption that was the industrial revolution can also be seen at work in intellectual history, and even in aesthetic and spiritual history. Science and philosophy began to transform early, more or less defining by themselves the advent of modernity when science and philosophy were modern but economics and industry were not. However, with the industrial revolution, science and philosophy were given a new and more violent spur to further growth and realignment.
These redirections and realignments of science, philosophy, and logic are vivid illustrations of the kind of selective development of science that Danilevsky imagined, though he thought of these selective developments in terms of their being embedded in cultural-historical traditions. Western science was embedded in the Western cultural-historical tradition (though Danilevsky called this the Romano-Germanic cultural-historical type), and when this tradition changed due to the industrial revolution, the science (and philosophy and logic) changed along with the tradition. Had the change been given an impetus in a different direction, or had the change not happened at all, science and its adjacent intellectual activities would look rather different today. I will not deny that change would have been much slower, but qualitatively different change might have had unprecedented impacts on history. Obviously, in the present context, what I am thinking of is a tradition like the logic of Bolzano being developed gradually, perhaps over hundreds of years, until it becomes the genuine science of science the want of which we feel at present.
It is ironically reflexive that we cannot exclude the possibility of a counterfactual science, based on a counterfactual logical tradition that grew into a mature theory of science, precisely because we lack this same theory of science. We also cannot prove that our rapid progress in science since the industrial revolution might stagnate for want of a proper theory of science, and due to the cognitive monoculture favored by rapid progress, nor that a counterfactual science, based on a counterfactual logic, might ultimately overtake and outstrip the rapid progress of science after an industrial revolution. It may be the case that, when a civilization experiences a rapid and violent industrial revolution, the accelerated rate of change cripples the other institutions of that civilization, and inevitably leads to both industrial and scientific progress eventually grinding to a halt, because the rate of progress was unsustainable. We could call the two implied scenarios of scientific and industrial development the tortoise scenario and the hare scenario, where slow and steady wins the race.
Best wishes,
Nick
PS—Last Wednesday I hiked up Dog Mountain again (previously in a PS to newsletter 239 I mentioned hiking Dog Mountain on 31 May 2023, almost exactly a year ago). This time I didn’t go all the way to the top, but I went as far as the Dog Mountain Lookout, which is a viewpoint over the Columbia Gorge just short of the top. Spring is one of the best times to do the Dog Mountain walk because of all the wildflowers.
PPS— The new number of Isonomia Quarterly, Volume 2 Issue 2, is now available, which includes a new essay by me, “The Coming Coeval Age” (a PDF version is also available). I plan to also record a video about this for my Today in Philosophy of History series. As with my recent big history paper, “A Complexity Ladder for Big History,” this essay for the Isonomia Quarterly isn’t specifically about philosophy of history, but it does have some interesting implications for history that I will explore and elaborate.
PPPS—I have finished listening to the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. This is a classic I have skimmed many times but have not previously read through word-for-word. It always feels good to have the experience of the whole of a classic to better understand the references generated by said classic. Often we think of stoics as being distant and even possessed of an inhuman degree of self-control, but I was surprised by the repeated references to sociability in the Meditations. There is a pervasive sense in Marcus Aurelius of going along to get along.
Immediately upon finishing the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius I started listening to How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius by Donald J. Robertson. This is not exactly a commentary on the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, but a kind of exposition, both filling in the backstory to the life of Marcus Aurelius, as well as the life of the author, and showing the relevance of Stoic philosophy in the present. This book is about twice as long as the Meditations themselves.

Newsletter link:

https://mailchi.mp/9c0106fe7105/the-view-from-oregon-289
​

I had this sermon yesterday, and it helped me collate my thoughts
For the everyone, Christianity isn't a self-help or a religion that makes you feel good. It is a faith that is real. Sharing the word and preaching may not turn the hearts of others. You need to clarify the non-believers' doubts. However, this is for everyone to read.
Science doesn't argue that God isn't real. God and science aren't enemies. They are in fact allies. God made science and science proves of God is existence.
1) Faith and science are complementary.
John 4:21-24 describes the Samaritan woman asking Jesus which is mountain/temple is the right place to seek God. Jesus instead tells her how God is spiritual. Heaven and hell are not physical locations, but a spiritual location. Therefore you need to connect to God spiritually.
Science cannot prove about why the existence of any number. For example, why is 7 seven and not 1 or 2 or 3? Science only assumes numbers. What about right and wrongs? We know that they are real things. We believe they are factual. But right and wrongs differ from person to person. Science can not scientifically prove what is right and what is wrong. Science is used to prove the physical and not physical world. But science also cannot prove science. For example science cannot prove where an atom is from. People say the Big Bang, but what caused it to happen(explained later)? God is beyond the physical world. So science is to study the physical world, whereas faith is to know the spiritual world.
2) Faith provides a basis for science
Science is to prove a principle of a law. But you need to assume that this law exists in the first place because if it doesn't then results are unattainable. This is a hypothesis. If the experimental results are achieved, then the law is true. However, when the results cannot be obtained, the law either is false or needs further proving. But He separated the dry land from water as can be seen in Psalm 105:5-9. The waters flowed over the mountains, went into valleys and He set a boundary they cannot cross and would never again cover earth. Same again in the story of Noah. And also can be seen in Genesis 1 when the world was just water. Before He made these boundaries, the waters were chaotic and with no order. God gave order.
In fact there are also many many famous scientists out there who used the Bible for their hypothesis and so far they are all correct. Johannes Kepler said that he was was merely thinking God's thoughts after Him. Isaac Newton said he studied the Bible to prove scientific theories. However, what the Bible says that is in the later part before the end, that cannot be proven yet. Other than that, God made the world follow a fixed law. Therefore, Christianity is a faith with science to prove that it is true. This leads to the last point
3) Science provides evidence for the Christian faith
Romans 1:18-20 says ‭" [18] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, [19] because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. [20] For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse". This shows that there is so much evidence of God in the world like science and the miracles done. So how can God not have the rights to condemn someone to hell? It isn't because He remained hidden and they didn't have the opportunity to know Him. They closed their hearts and believe in His works but not Him. They have everything around them to prove God exists, but they do not heed.
Psalm 8:3-4 shows us the magnitude and power of God. But there would be critics who disagree because we jump into conclusions and "assume" it's right. What if there is an argument to prove that it is right and it in fact is God's powers?
Kalama Cosmological Argument states: 1. Everything must have a cause. 2. The universe began to exist 3. (if the first 2 points make sense which they do, then) Therefore, the universe must have a cause
The Kalam Cosmological Argument can be used on Islam and Christianity but the Christian God is the true God. In Islam, Muhammad was not the Son of God. He was just a prophet. Neither did he die on the cross for the people to redeem their sins. And I don't need to talk about the kids he married. It's pedophilia and there's no argument that that is very wrong. God is righteous and His son should be righteous as well. We know Jesus was righteous and has never sinned. He bored the cross for our shame and suffered to redeem us. This is the real Son of God. Therefore, only our Christian God is true. The gods of other religions cannot exist because of the Kalam Argument that we can agree is true.
The Big Bang, which people argue that this is how God doesn't exist, was only proven in 2003. Do I believe in the Big Bang? Yes. But you see, science is to study the physical world (definition: the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence obtained). Science only can be used to study the physical world. So the world cannot make the world because the world is science but science cannot make science. In that way, something external must be making the Big Bang happen. So who is this Someone who is external?
Using the Kalam Argument, we can come to a conclusion that 1. The Creator must be extremely powerful to create the world. 2. The Creator has to be non-physical for the world cannot make the world reason. 3. The Creator must be eternal. If not something else would have made Him, thus He would have a beginning. But He cannot have a cause, but cause a cause unless the cause is a person which cannot be true. Complicated to read but try to understand. This sounds like our God that we read about in Gensis! People don't believe because they don't want to, not because they didn't have more than enough evidence to know of God's evidence.
Next, God can use something natural and unnatural to create something. For example, the Red Sea turning red was proven to be because of sediments in the water. And so were the rest of the plague. But the destroyer was a curse (a really bad miracle) and isn't natural. So was Jesus when He went around to heal the sick, blind, deaf, mute, lame, and the possessed. A miracle = cannot be proven by science and totally unrelated to science. Who else can create miracles but by Someone not in the physical world? The consistency in the miracles cannot be a chance. It is the God factor. This can be proven by the Teleolgical Argument.
The Teleolgical Argument says that: 1. The fine-tuning of the universe is due to physical necessity or chance or design (proven by biology, physics or scientific experiments multiple times and would be explained after this) 2. It is not due to physical necessity or chance because unless the universe has a mind then it knows its necessities. And chances are so hard to come by (said later) 3. Thus the universe has to be designed (by God)
Like y=mx+c or other formulas with a constant inside. Gravity, speed of light in vacuum and other laws are also constant.
Now to answer "Can it be by chance?" The answer is 99.999999% no. But let me add that little 0.000001 to prove the God factor. Stephen Hawking said if time at the beginning slowed by 10¹⁰⁰ seconds, the universe would be dead. How can a chance be so accurate? How can there be a chance with such an unspeakable number without a design given? For example, you find an iPhone in the desert and you say its because the winds and weather conditions had assembled and put it together, and Steve Jobs picked it up. So with LOGICAL CONCLUSION, it can be said that there is a Designer to design the universe. According to the first law of thermodynamics, something cannot exist without being created from existing energy. The law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed and Einstein established that energy and mass (the two essense of existence) are essentially the same. But why does God not need a creator? Because the creator would be greater than God. Then won't we worship that creator instead? But thermodynamics only apply to our world. We often forget that God is of a spiritual world and He is eternal, hence, He doesn't need or have a creator.
In conclusion, science and faith are not compatible. That's too weak a word. Science and faith are complementary. Thus, do not disbelieve in God and only believe in science or vice versa. You need something that you can rely on that doesn't change. A constant. Then you might ask why do we believe in a book? We don't believe in book. It's the faith we believe in that is true. As science cannot prove science, the Bible cannot prove the Bible. But so far all the things the Bible was true, even before science had proven these. And those not of science are miracles or not proven yet. If you cannot debut these reasonings, then it only means God is true and that you should start believing in Him. Psalm 8:1-9 shows the magnitude and power of God. Science isn't something we should use to doubt God but to marvel and appreciate the works, even to the finest detail, of God and His designs. Gensis 1:26 says "[26] Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ". We have dominion over the world as through science and the manipulation of science helps us understand God at a deeper scale. Your faith must have a deeper intellectual evidence. What reflects God's words or existence? I know that all He has said and still says has come true and thus will also come true. I know this because I see His works through History, Science etc. Build a faith with facts and knowledge but also with belief. You can further read things to strengthen your faith, like Reasonable Faith(or William Lane Craig, his youtube channel if you hate reading a lot, but since you got this far then maybe you do like reading), or books from Timothy Keller and C.S Lewis.
I would say that faith by knowledge is to accept in God and faith by feelings is to strengthen our love for God. I pray that we would have more brothers and sisters as well who would come to God through all these factors and we would have the brothers and sisters we lost to come back to God. In Jesus's most precious name I pray, Amen.

I had this sermon yesterday, and it helped me collate my thoughts
For the everyone, Christianity isn't a self-help or a religion that makes you feel good. It is a faith that is real. Sharing the word and preaching may not turn the hearts of others. You need to clarify the non-believers' doubts. However, this is for everyone to read.
Science doesn't argue that God isn't real. God and science aren't enemies. They are in fact allies. God made science and science proves of God is existence.
1) Faith and science are complementary.
John 4:21-24 describes the Samaritan woman asking Jesus which is mountain/temple is the right place to seek God. Jesus instead tells her how God is spiritual. Heaven and hell are not physical locations, but a spiritual location. Therefore you need to connect to God spiritually.
Science cannot prove about why the existence of any number. For example, why is 7 seven and not 1 or 2 or 3? Science only assumes numbers. What about right and wrongs? We know that they are real things. We believe they are factual. But right and wrongs differ from person to person. Science can not scientifically prove what is right and what is wrong. Science is used to prove the physical and not physical world. But science also cannot prove science. For example science cannot prove where an atom is from. People say the Big Bang, but what caused it to happen(explained later)? God is beyond the physical world. So science is to study the physical world, whereas faith is to know the spiritual world.
2) Faith provides a basis for science
Science is to prove a principle of a law. But you need to assume that this law exists in the first place because if it doesn't then results are unattainable. This is a hypothesis. If the experimental results are achieved, then the law is true. However, when the results cannot be obtained, the law either is false or needs further proving. But He separated the dry land from water as can be seen in Psalm 105:5-9. The waters flowed over the mountains, went into valleys and He set a boundary they cannot cross and would never again cover earth. Same again in the story of Noah. And also can be seen in Genesis 1 when the world was just water. Before He made these boundaries, the waters were chaotic and with no order. God gave order.
In fact there are also many many famous scientists out there who used the Bible for their hypothesis and so far they are all correct. Johannes Kepler said that he was was merely thinking God's thoughts after Him. Isaac Newton said he studied the Bible to prove scientific theories. However, what the Bible says that is in the later part before the end, that cannot be proven yet. Other than that, God made the world follow a fixed law. Therefore, Christianity is a faith with science to prove that it is true. This leads to the last point
3) Science provides evidence for the Christian faith
Romans 1:18-20 says ‭" [18] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, [19] because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. [20] For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse". This shows that there is so much evidence of God in the world like science and the miracles done. So how can God not have the rights to condemn someone to hell? It isn't because He remained hidden and they didn't have the opportunity to know Him. They closed their hearts and believe in His works but not Him. They have everything around them to prove God exists, but they do not heed.
Psalm 8:3-4 shows us the magnitude and power of God. But there would be critics who disagree because we jump into conclusions and "assume" it's right. What if there is an argument to prove that it is right and it in fact is God's powers?
Kalama Cosmological Argument states: 1. Everything must have a cause. 2. The universe began to exist 3. (if the first 2 points make sense which they do, then) Therefore, the universe must have a cause
The Kalam Cosmological Argument can be used on Islam and Christianity but the Christian God is the true God. In Islam, Muhammad was not the Son of God. He was just a prophet. Neither did he die on the cross for the people to redeem their sins. And I don't need to talk about the kids he married. It's pedophilia and there's no argument that that is very wrong. God is righteous and His son should be righteous as well. We know Jesus was righteous and has never sinned. He bored the cross for our shame and suffered to redeem us. This is the real Son of God. Therefore, only our Christian God is true. The gods of other religions cannot exist because of the Kalam Argument that we can agree is true.
The Big Bang, which people argue that this is how God doesn't exist, was only proven in 2003. Do I believe in the Big Bang? Yes. But you see, science is to study the physical world (definition: the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence obtained). Science only can be used to study the physical world. So the world cannot make the world because the world is science but science cannot make science. In that way, something external must be making the Big Bang happen. So who is this Someone who is external?
Using the Kalam Argument, we can come to a conclusion that 1. The Creator must be extremely powerful to create the world. 2. The Creator has to be non-physical for the world cannot make the world reason. 3. The Creator must be eternal. If not something else would have made Him, thus He would have a beginning. But He cannot have a cause, but cause a cause unless the cause is a person which cannot be true. Complicated to read but try to understand. This sounds like our God that we read about in Gensis! People don't believe because they don't want to, not because they didn't have more than enough evidence to know of God's evidence.
Next, God can use something natural and unnatural to create something. For example, the Red Sea turning red was proven to be because of sediments in the water. And so were the rest of the plague. But the destroyer was a curse (a really bad miracle) and isn't natural. So was Jesus when He went around to heal the sick, blind, deaf, mute, lame, and the possessed. A miracle = cannot be proven by science and totally unrelated to science. Who else can create miracles but by Someone not in the physical world? The consistency in the miracles cannot be a chance. It is the God factor. This can be proven by the Teleolgical Argument.
The Teleolgical Argument says that: 1. The fine-tuning of the universe is due to physical necessity or chance or design (proven by biology, physics or scientific experiments multiple times and would be explained after this) 2. It is not due to physical necessity or chance because unless the universe has a mind then it knows its necessities. And chances are so hard to come by (said later) 3. Thus the universe has to be designed (by God)
Like y=mx+c or other formulas with a constant inside. Gravity, speed of light in vacuum and other laws are also constant.
Now to answer "Can it be by chance?" The answer is 99.999999% no. But let me add that little 0.000001 to prove the God factor. Stephen Hawking said if time at the beginning slowed by 10¹⁰⁰ seconds, the universe would be dead. How can a chance be so accurate? How can there be a chance with such an unspeakable number without a design given? For example, you find an iPhone in the desert and you say its because the winds and weather conditions had assembled and put it together, and Steve Jobs picked it up. So with LOGICAL CONCLUSION, it can be said that there is a Designer to design the universe. According to the first law of thermodynamics, something cannot exist without being created from existing energy. The law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed and Einstein established that energy and mass (the two essense of existence) are essentially the same. But why does God not need a creator? Because the creator would be greater than God. Then won't we worship that creator instead? But thermodynamics only apply to our world. We often forget that God is of a spiritual world and He is eternal, hence, He doesn't need or have a creator.
In conclusion, science and faith are not compatible. That's too weak a word. Science and faith are complementary. Thus, do not disbelieve in God and only believe in science or vice versa. You need something that you can rely on that doesn't change. A constant. Then you might ask why do we believe in a book? We don't believe in book. It's the faith we believe in that is true. As science cannot prove science, the Bible cannot prove the Bible. But so far all the things the Bible was true, even before science had proven these. And those not of science are miracles or not proven yet. If you cannot debut these reasonings, then it only means God is true and that you should start believing in Him. Psalm 8:1-9 shows the magnitude and power of God. Science isn't something we should use to doubt God but to marvel and appreciate the works, even to the finest detail, of God and His designs. Gensis 1:26 says "[26] Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ". We have dominion over the world as through science and the manipulation of science helps us understand God at a deeper scale. Your faith must have a deeper intellectual evidence. What reflects God's words or existence? I know that all He has said and still says has come true and thus will also come true. I know this because I see His works through History, Science etc. Build a faith with facts and knowledge but also with belief. You can further read things to strengthen your faith, like Reasonable Faith(or William Lane Craig, his youtube channel if you hate reading a lot, but since you got this far then maybe you do like reading), or books from Timothy Keller and C.S Lewis.
I would say that faith by knowledge is to accept in God and faith by feelings is to strengthen our love for God. I pray that we would have more brothers and sisters as well who would come to God through all these factors and we would have the brothers and sisters we lost to come back to God. In Jesus's most precious name I pray, Amen.

I had this sermon yesterday, it helped me collate my thoughts
For the everyone, Christianity isn't a self-help or a religion that makes you feel good. It is a faith that is real. Sharing the word and preaching may not turn the hearts of others. You need to clarify the non-believers' doubts. However, this is for everyone to read.
Science doesn't argue that God isn't real. God and science aren't enemies. They are in fact allies. God made science and science proves of God is existence.
1) Faith and science are complementary.
John 4:21-24 describes the Samaritan woman asking Jesus which is mountain/temple is the right place to seek God. Jesus instead tells her how God is spiritual. Heaven and hell are not physical locations, but a spiritual location. Therefore you need to connect to God spiritually.
Science cannot prove about why the existence of any number. For example, why is 7 seven and not 1 or 2 or 3? Science only assumes numbers. What about right and wrongs? We know that they are real things. We believe they are factual. But right and wrongs differ from person to person. Science can not scientifically prove what is right and what is wrong. Science is used to prove the physical and not physical world. But science also cannot prove science. For example science cannot prove where an atom is from. People say the Big Bang, but what caused it to happen(explained later)? God is beyond the physical world. So science is to study the physical world, whereas faith is to know the spiritual world.
2) Faith provides a basis for science
Science is to prove a principle of a law. But you need to assume that this law exists in the first place because if it doesn't then results are unattainable. This is a hypothesis. If the experimental results are achieved, then the law is true. However, when the results cannot be obtained, the law either is false or needs further proving. But He separated the dry land from water as can be seen in Psalm 105:5-9. The waters flowed over the mountains, went into valleys and He set a boundary they cannot cross and would never again cover earth. Same again in the story of Noah. And also can be seen in Genesis 1 when the world was just water. Before He made these boundaries, the waters were chaotic and with no order. God gave order.
In fact there are also many many famous scientists out there who used the Bible for their hypothesis and so far they are all correct. Johannes Kepler said that he was was merely thinking God's thoughts after Him. Isaac Newton said he studied the Bible to prove scientific theories. However, what the Bible says that is in the later part before the end, that cannot be proven yet. Other than that, God made the world follow a fixed law. Therefore, Christianity is a faith with science to prove that it is true. This leads to the last point
3) Science provides evidence for the Christian faith
Romans 1:18-20 says ‭" [18] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, [19] because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. [20] For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse". This shows that there is so much evidence of God in the world like science and the miracles done. So how can God not have the rights to condemn someone to hell? It isn't because He remained hidden and they didn't have the opportunity to know Him. They closed their hearts and believe in His works but not Him. They have everything around them to prove God exists, but they do not heed.
Psalm 8:3-4 shows us the magnitude and power of God. But there would be critics who disagree because we jump into conclusions and "assume" it's right. What if there is an argument to prove that it is right and it in fact is God's powers?
Kalama Cosmological Argument states: 1. Everything must have a cause. 2. The universe began to exist 3. (if the first 2 points make sense which they do, then) Therefore, the universe must have a cause
The Kalam Cosmological Argument can be used on Islam and Christianity but the Christian God is the true God. In Islam, Muhammad was not the Son of God. He was just a prophet. Neither did he die on the cross for the people to redeem their sins. And I don't need to talk about the kids he married. It's pedophilia and there's no argument that that is very wrong. God is righteous and His son should be righteous as well. We know Jesus was righteous and has never sinned. He bored the cross for our shame and suffered to redeem us. This is the real Son of God. Therefore, only our Christian God is true. The gods of other religions cannot exist because of the Kalam Argument that we can agree is true.
The Big Bang, which people argue that this is how God doesn't exist, was only proven in 2003. Do I believe in the Big Bang? Yes. But you see, science is to study the physical world (definition: the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence obtained). Science only can be used to study the physical world. So the world cannot make the world because the world is science but science cannot make science. In that way, something external must be making the Big Bang happen. So who is this Someone who is external?
Using the Kalam Argument, we can come to a conclusion that 1. The Creator must be extremely powerful to create the world. 2. The Creator has to be non-physical for the world cannot make the world reason. 3. The Creator must be eternal. If not something else would have made Him, thus He would have a beginning. But He cannot have a cause, but cause a cause unless the cause is a person which cannot be true. Complicated to read but try to understand. This sounds like our God that we read about in Gensis! People don't believe because they don't want to, not because they didn't have more than enough evidence to know of God's evidence.
Next, God can use something natural and unnatural to create something. For example, the Red Sea turning red was proven to be because of sediments in the water. And so were the rest of the plague. But the destroyer was a curse (a really bad miracle) and isn't natural. So was Jesus when He went around to heal the sick, blind, deaf, mute, lame, and the possessed. A miracle = cannot be proven by science and totally unrelated to science. Who else can create miracles but by Someone not in the physical world? The consistency in the miracles cannot be a chance. It is the God factor. This can be proven by the Teleolgical Argument.
The Teleolgical Argument says that: 1. The fine-tuning of the universe is due to physical necessity or chance or design (proven by biology, physics or scientific experiments multiple times and would be explained after this) 2. It is not due to physical necessity or chance because unless the universe has a mind then it knows its necessities. And chances are so hard to come by (said later) 3. Thus the universe has to be designed (by God)
Like y=mx+c or other formulas with a constant inside. Gravity, speed of light in vacuum and other laws are also constant.
Now to answer "Can it be by chance?" The answer is 99.999999% no. But let me add that little 0.000001 to prove the God factor. Stephen Hawking said if time at the beginning slowed by 10¹⁰⁰ seconds, the universe would be dead. How can a chance be so accurate? How can there be a chance with such an unspeakable number without a design given? For example, you find an iPhone in the desert and you say its because the winds and weather conditions had assembled and put it together, and Steve Jobs picked it up. So with LOGICAL CONCLUSION, it can be said that there is a Designer to design the universe. According to the first law of thermodynamics, something cannot exist without being created from existing energy. The law states that energy cannot be created or destroyed and Einstein established that energy and mass (the two essense of existence) are essentially the same. But why does God not need a creator? Because the creator would be greater than God. Then won't we worship that creator instead? But thermodynamics only apply to our world. We often forget that God is of a spiritual world and He is eternal, hence, He doesn't need or have a creator.
In conclusion, science and faith are not compatible. That's too weak a word. Science and faith are complementary. Thus, do not disbelieve in God and only believe in science or vice versa. You need something that you can rely on that doesn't change. A constant. Then you might ask why do we believe in a book? We don't believe in book. It's the faith we believe in that is true. As science cannot prove science, the Bible cannot prove the Bible. But so far all the things the Bible was true, even before science had proven these. And those not of science are miracles or not proven yet. If you cannot debut these reasonings, then it only means God is true and that you should start believing in Him. Psalm 8:1-9 shows the magnitude and power of God. Science isn't something we should use to doubt God but to marvel and appreciate the works, even to the finest detail, of God and His designs. Gensis 1:26 says "[26] Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ". We have dominion over the world as through science and the manipulation of science helps us understand God at a deeper scale. Your faith must have a deeper intellectual evidence. What reflects God's words or existence? I know that all He has said and still says has come true and thus will also come true. I know this because I see His works through History, Science etc. Build a faith with facts and knowledge but also with belief. You can further read things to strengthen your faith, like Reasonable Faith(or William Lane Craig, his youtube channel if you hate reading a lot, but since you got this far then maybe you do like reading), or books from Timothy Keller and C.S Lewis.
I would say that faith by knowledge is to accept in God and faith by feelings is to strengthen our love for God. I pray that we would have more brothers and sisters as well who would come to God through all these factors and we would have the brothers and sisters we lost to come back to God. In Jesus's most precious name I pray, Amen.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Well today was the day, that the 3 year relationship with my child’s father ended. We have NOT had a healthy relationship but it has only gotten worse and worse. When my daughter was 3 months old, we made the decision to physically seperate, but stay together, so we could go to therapy and make sure our child wasn’t around arguing - fast forward my daughter is 15 months and me and my baby have been living at my moms AND him and I NEVER made it to therapy. . Grateful I have enough support to be with her here and have been able to not have to work and have time to figure things out. Regardless, he used to be 100% loyal to me. I found out last summer he rode in a car with a girl alone, (in LA when he went with his family, which he blindsided me on even going there to begin with), so we were fighting when he went, and sure enough he rode alone in a car with his sisters friend who tried to fuck him multiple times in the past… not only that in LA he gave a girl his number. He lied to me about it for 8-9 months and I forgave him. He told me last week his balls have been itchy, and that he was going to get an STD test and to “tell him before he gets the results” God is my witness - I never cheated - I have lied to him quite a bit in the course of our relationship but mostly about past stuff, (but not even HALf as much as he has lied to me!) he told me if I lied again, he would ghost me, today I woke up with the flu bug my daughter had and asked him to come and help. He said he would, then ghosted me and answered shit face drunk and come to find out his sister was having her bday party. My daughter wasn’t even invited there as she has been to everyone else’s birthday, and his mom told me he was too drunk to help with his child. He answers the phone, tells me he knows what I did?????, and said Jamie (another one of his sisters friends he has slept with before we got together) was the only one who could watch our daughter. He hung up on me. His mom condoned his behavior, and wouldn’t even let me drop my daughter off so I could throw up and be sick without worrying about her)… and sure enough, I go to his sisters friend from LA instagram, and sure enough she’s in town, and at the party. I have no idea what I did but if the test came back positive god knows it’s from HIM! Then that’s it. I blocked him and now will be looking for lawyers.