Sh digraph worksheets

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

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When I search in my Userform it list all items but cant scroll down to see it all. I can see at bottom there is some more data but cant scroll down
Any remedy
This is my search code
Sub SearchData()
Application.ScreenUpdating = False
Dim shDatabase As Worksheet ' Database sheet
Dim shSearchData As Worksheet 'SearchData sheet
Dim iColumn As Integer 'To hold the selected column number in Database sheet
Dim iDatabaseRow As Long 'To store the last non-blank row number available in Database sheet
Dim iSearchRow As Long 'To hold the last non-blank row number available in SearachData sheet
Dim sColumn As String 'To store the column selection
Dim sValue As String 'To hold the search text value
Set shDatabase = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("Database")
Set shSearchData = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("SearchData")
iDatabaseRow = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("Database").Range("A" & Application.Rows.Count).End(xlUp).Row
sColumn = frmForm.cmbSearchColumn.Value
sValue = frmForm.txtSearch.Value
iColumn = Application.WorksheetFunction.Match(sColumn,
shDatabase.Range("A4:AJ4"), 0)
'Remove filter from Database worksheet
If shDatabase.FilterMode = True Then
shDatabase.AutoFilterMode = False
End If
'Apply filter on Database worksheet
If frmForm.cmbSearchColumn.Value = "Supplier Num" Then
'**********************************************
shDatabase.Range("A4:AJ" & iDatabaseRow).AutoFilter Field:=iColumn, Criteria1:=sValue
With shDatabase.Range("A4:AJ" & iDatabaseRow)
.AutoFilter Field:=iColumn, Criteria1:=sValue
.AutoFilter Field:=19, Criteria2:="InStock"
End With
'***********************************************
Else
shDatabase.Range("A4:AJ" & iDatabaseRow).AutoFilter Field:=iColumn, Criteria1:="*" & sValue & "*"
End If
If Application.WorksheetFunction.Subtotal(3, shDatabase.Range("A:AJ")) >= 2 Then
'Code to remove the previous data from SearchData worksheet
shSearchData.Cells.Clear
shDatabase.AutoFilter.Range.Copy shSearchData.Range("A4")
Application.CutCopyMode = False
iSearchRow = shSearchData.Range("A" & Application.Rows.Count).End(xlUp).Row
frmForm.lstDatabase.ColumnCount = 54
' frmForm.lstDatabase.ColumnWidths = "0,0,60,60,60,60,45,110,70,70,60,60,60,60,60,60,60,60,60,70,0,0,60,60,60"
If iSearchRow > 1 Then
frmForm.lstDatabase.RowSource = "SearchData!A5:AJ" & iSearchRow
MsgBox "Records found."
End If
Else
MsgBox "No record found."
End If
shDatabase.AutoFilterMode = False
Application.ScreenUpdating = True
End Sub

I will change names for this one.
TW: Graphic visualization, bad wording.
Warning: I am partially wheelchair bound, please keep that in mind. Its a long one. Better brew a lot of tea.
So this started 3 years ago. I (now 24,f) worked and studied in a BBW (Berufsbildungswerk). It was the school begin in summer and my class got new students.
INFO: In BBW´s you begin either in February or in mid of august. I live, study and work in one same place as 1000 students. The BBW had two onside dorms.
Amongst the new student was a special student, lets call him David (now 22,m). He was your typical macho guy, who had always strong opinions about certain topics and in the very first 3 weeks we got along well....
Well, so I´d thought. There were a lot of red flags that I didn´t notice at the time about him, that made indeed obvious how he came over to me and all the other was just a facade. He often would ask of me to bring, give and take "his" school supplies, worksheets etc. with me because his reasoning was "I don´t have a bag. I can´t carry my books and worksheets".
In other words he wanted me to be his luggage donkey....
I often would ask of him to get his stuff but he always dodged it with replies like he is getting it next week...
He told me on multiple occasions that I was someone good to talk to with...(he mostly talked while I just listened. He didn´t even let me make any comments)
Now the banger in this story was one certain tuesday that I had. It was in the morning, around a 5 minute classroom change where he asked me "Lunara, can we chill this afternoon after school? And drink some beer?".....
I didn´t reply to his question at all, because I was stressed with stuffing my schoolbag and heading to my next class. (Which is probably my fault that he took my silence and me rushing to the next class as a yes. But I digress)
Now you would think by chilling with someone you don´t know at all or barely, you would want to hangout at a place where many people are. Outside... Just not in your room necessarily, or your apartment....
Now I had earlier off from school and decided to do my laundry which was ... underwear heavy and black.... and while I was changing into something comfy the unthinkable happened...
While being half nude, David aggressively bangs on my door and opens the door without getting from me a reply back that he could come inside. Me, half nude stumbles and rushes to the door trying to shut it but David had his foot between the door and doorframe. He went aggressive on me and made a huge scene in my dormgroups hallway.
I remembered David asking the question and handed him a beer outside and asked him if he could wait a bit outside but I couldn´t finish even asking David, because he pushed the door open and I fell butt flat on the floor. I took my clothes that I wanted to change into and rushed into my bathroom.
Coming out, David sat on the ground with the beer I gave him and blasted his music box. 10 minutes passed by and he started to look around in my room. (Mind you, I do take medications. And at the time I stored my treatments in my room, in a lockable rollcontainer.)
David, overcome with curiosity started to go through my stuff on my desk. He noticed that the lockable part of my rollcontainer was locked and demanded that I need to open the rollcontainer. I said no. David got more angry and demanded it again to which I again said No.
Pissed off, David moved onto my laundry basket and went through it. He made comments like "Oh nice black lace you´ve got. What Cup-Size do you wear? I bet it looks sexy on you." It made my skin crawl and I couldn´t utter a word because I was shocked that he went through my laundry basket.
He continued on going through my bathroom, complaining that he doesn´t see many make up products? that it doesn´t look like that the bathroom is that of a woman. David continued his little journey through my pantry which had buldak noodles in it.(This is important later) He asked me if I could make a portion for him. I told him those were really spicy noodles. David told me that he is fine, since they "supposedly" aren´t that spicy and that he can´t handle that much spice. I told him that I don´t mind making him a portion but that I would start cooking soon "since I wanted to go to bed early". (I tried making a reasonable excuse as I felt immensely uncomfortable and wanted him gone as fast as I could without him getting aggressive)
He moved on from my pantry to my wardrobe, where he would make more comments on my underwear and asking me if I was taken if I ever had something....popable... with someone. If I even knew what a pp would look like... Ignoring all his questions I asked David why he would go through my stuff...
His reply you ask?
"Thats what friends do to get to know each other."
I stood there speechless. Unable to reply anything at all, I took the buldak noodles and went into the community kitchen. My caretakers asked if I was fine and assured them that I was. (Which obviously was a lie. But I also didn´t wanted them to worry or deal with David´s aggressive behavior)
INFO: When David came, the caretakers weren´t there and had a shift change.
I asked David if he wanted Cheese or stir-fried eggs in his buldak noodles to reduce the spiciness. But he declined. When I finished making his noodles he ate 3 bites before rushing to the kitchens fridge and downed a whole milk carton down. It wasn´t enough so he ran to the groups pantry room, to the fridge in that room to get butter milk.
David excused himself saying that he wasn´t feeling well. He ran out of the group like a dog running when its mealtime. My caretakers noticed it and asked me again if something happened between me and David. I shaked my head and went with mine and his portion back into my room.
Next day came...
I had P.E.classes with him and while we played badminton together with other people from different classes, David would complain to them about me. The spice level was to much for his body and he apparently sat four hours on the toilette and had to ask his roommate to bring him many bottles of buttermilk. Apparently 7 x 750ml bottles.
David would go on how he would wanna do it with me and how he liked my underwear. At the end of the P.E. lesson, people asked me if I was okay...
I was not....
I was livid, mad and filled with anger and disgust. I went that same day to my supervisor Mr.Magus and told him everything that happened... I originally wanted to let that day slide. Let what happened go...
But David crossed the line....
Actions were taken. David wasn´t allowed to come near to me, talk to me or work together with me. He wasn´t allowed to step foot into my dormgroup and everyone from our department got to know everything that happened between us...
But it didn´t ended there...
5 weeks later on a Friday, I got called in by my caretakers. In their office I see two yellow trashbags and the caretakers from the group that David was staying in.
They apologized to me and told me that today the caretakers did a room inspection on David´s room as the caretakers received complains from other groupmates staying in that group, that there was a nasty smell coming out of David´s room and found out the source of the smell.
The source was my and other women underwear that he had stolen out of our rooms. Those two bags had my underwear in it and I can´t tell you how vile it was. My underwear was covered in a white yellowish sticky gooey substance that smelled abysmal...
I tried washing them but ultimately had to throw them away.
How he got into my room you ask?
He stole from the cleaning personal a general key that opens literally any room in the dorm. He would often come when I was either sleeping or showering.
I was mad and livid. So I went petty again. I went and made a sign that said "Warning!!! I love spicy food! Hide your milk cartons away or they will be gone." printed and laminated the sign and stitched into his chair.
Next day came and all I hear are cuss words and David´s Supervisor giving David a kickout warning if he wouldn´t quiet down. David never got to know that it was me who ghost stitched on the sign on his chair. and he wasn´t able to remove it at all.
In those 3 years, I had multiple issues continuing on with David. variating from SH to sometimes AS the final straw happened 1 month ago.
I was resting in our breakroom as my migrain got worse and saw that in the breakroom, David had his stuff laying around. I knew David would at some point get his belongings and leave the room.
If he had done that he wouldn´t be banned from the BBW and wouldn´t have been demoted to homeoffice. While I laid on the couch on my side, he came inside, around the table and proceeds to slap my butt. Unable to utter a word due to the lack of mental capacity, I put my leg down and David did trip over it. He went mad and said "you b-word!!!" and punches my head. He punched so hard that my migrain got worse and a few seconds later, I got nosebleed as well.
I was in shock and feared that if I said anything rn it would make him again aggressive. So I went 2 days later to my psychologist and told her what happened.
When the class wanted to know where David was I told them what happened and the whole class went into joy. Like someone gave them a hefty raise or a good grade.
It lasted only 2 weeks due to government regulations but I will never forget the cheer Joy the class had.
Edit1:
I deep apologize if this comes over too visualizing. English is my second language and while people do tell me that I speak it well, I´m not so good on wording things. Not even in my own motherlanguage. But I assure you I am working on it.
INFO: Yes I had to go through those bags on my own and Yes the caretakers do know what my laundry/ underwear looks like as I´m physically not always able to reach the washing machine and tumble dryer and am relying on and off on a wheel chair. (both appliances are on shelves, unless I stand up and risk breaking or dispositioning my ripcage, that's how I have to get laundry done)
The caretakers do have to memorize laundry from people bound in wheel chairs or people who have a genetic issues that makes them unable to reach the appliances due to height issue.
They do check up on us asking standard questions if we got new clothes or items with us. New electronic items or even amenities we do have to list to them.

Hi, i am working on a page to semplify the production request procedures in my work place , we have a excel spreadsheet that we use to print production models, in each page there are one or more product and all the possible component that can be used to build/install that product, in every line there is a of main products and components there are a fields for code , quantity and name , if the quantity field is empty , a macro will hide the line,
'=========>>
Option Explicit
Option Compare Text
Sub CheckValore()
If ActiveSheet.Range("$n$2").Value = "FALSO" Then
VisualizzaRighe
ActiveSheet.Range("$n$2").Value = "VERO"
Else
NascondiRigheVuote
ActiveSheet.Range("$n$2").Value = "FALSO"
End If
End Sub
'------->
Sub NascondiRigheVuote()
'Dim WB As Workbook
Dim SH As Worksheet
Dim Rng As Range
Dim i As Long, LRow As Long
Const sColonnaSi As String = "N" '<<=== Modifica
Const iPrimaRigaDati As Long = 4 '<<=== Modifica
Const sColonneDaStampare As String = "A:M" '<<=== Modifica"
'Set WB = ThisWorkbook
Set SH = ActiveSheet
With SH
LRow = LastRow(SH, .Columns(sColonneDaStampare))
On Error GoTo XIT
Application.ScreenUpdating = False
For i = iPrimaRigaDati To LRow
With .Rows(i)
.Hidden = .Cells(1, sColonnaSi) <> "si"
End With
Next i
With .PageSetup
.Orientation = xlLandscape
.PrintArea = Intersect(.Rows(1).Resize(LRow), _
.Columns(sColonneDaStampare))
End With
End With
XIT:
Application.ScreenUpdating = True
End Sub
'------->
Sub VisualizzaRighe()
ActiveSheet.Rows.Hidden = False
End Sub
'------->
Function LastRow(SH As Worksheet, _
Optional Rng As Range, _
Optional minRow As Long = 1, _
Optional sPassword As String)
Dim bProtected As Boolean
With SH
If Rng Is Nothing Then
Set Rng = .Cells
End If
bProtected = .ProtectContents = True
If bProtected Then
.Unprotect Password:=sPassword
End If
End With
On Error Resume Next
LastRow = Rng.Find(What:="*", _
after:=Rng.Cells(1), _
Lookat:=xlPart, _
LookIn:=xlFormulas, _
SearchOrder:=xlByRows, _
SearchDirection:=xlPrevious, _
MatchCase:=False).Row
On Error GoTo 0
If LastRow < minRow Then
LastRow = minRow
End If
If bProtected Then
SH.Protect Password:=sPassword, _
UserInterfaceOnly:=True
End If
End Function
My problem is that I need need in the layout of the page to print 21 lines per page, before the macro many of the products have far more than 21 and after far less, there is a way to do automatically a check and set up the print to 21 lines per page?
I am using excel 2004, if you need more info or to see an example i have made a post on Superuser
P.S. be patint is there is any error english is not my firs language.

this is going to be long probably but i have nobody to talk to rn and i really need to get everything out while im calm. i am in no way self diagnosing for starters. ive read some things here and there about bpd and ive had similar reactions and such so i figured somebody with bpd could understand me more than anybody else hopefully. im in a really bad spot mentally. my life is absolute shit rn and it feels like nothing ever goes right yk. i have intense mood swings where one day im so happy and the world is so good and the next day im seconds away from sh/actually ending everything. i have a boyfriend and he’s genuinely the most beautiful person ive ever met. i got kicked out on my 18th bday last year and i only have a part time job. no car no license, etc. he drives me everywhere, lends me money, he does absolutely everything for me and i really do love him. but sometimes i feel like i hate him? maybe not hate but i get a strong distaste. he’ll do something small like not compliment me enough and suddenly he hates me, he’s using me. i know he loves me and i trust him but i get into these moods where i see him as the enemy. ill scream at him and accuse him of things and threaten to breakup. i never mean any of these things but i feel like im not myself when i get angry/he does something i even slightly dislike. ill come to my senses like 30 minutes late and ill be all lovey dovey again and i realize im in the wrong but i couldnt stop myself? theres times where ill find a reason for me to hate him. ill go through his following, make up scenarios in my head just to feel like he doesn’t love me. like i want him to leave me? my entire family ghosted me after i got kicked out so i feel like im dealing with a lot of abandonment issues rn because of that and my dad being in and out of my life since i was a child. everybody leaves me. out of everybody i know, he’s the only person whose stayed. i feel like eventually he’ll leave like everybody else. i say and do mean things to him so he’ll leave me but he never does. i cant go a minute without him no matter how hard i try so thats why i push him away. so he’ll leave me. i started feeling depression like 4/5 years ago and i never got out of it. i try to make myself sad or angry because those emotions are all i know. they are comforting to me. i dont want to hurt him anymore. i need help, professional help but i have no way of getting it i have nobody on my side rn it feels like. im so tired of being myself. i am not asking for a diagnosis or anything like that, i am simply asking for any help or advice i can get. no coping mechanisms help me and i dont like talking to therapists. all the ones ive been to just give me worksheets of the same stuff over and over that do not help. if anybody relates to this and has any tips pls lmk thank you. (btw sorry if this post seems scattered i tried to cover everything i could but everything would probably lead to a whole essay)

I need to be able to expand and collapse grouped rows in excel for the entire workbook. The code below works for the active sheet only. How can I change this to work for all sheets?

Sub Expand_All() Dim sh As Object For Each sh In ActiveWindow.SelectedSheets If TypeName(sh) = "Worksheet" Then sh.Outline.ShowLevels RowLevels:=8 End If Next sh Set sh = Nothing End Sub 

Hi All, I have tried to understand how to add my default signature to the code below. I still can't wrap my head around how to do it Can someone help me with adding some code to the below so that my default signature appears?
​
Sub MailTest()
Dim sh As Worksheet
Set sh = ThisWorkbook.Sheets("Sheet1")
Dim i As Integer
Dim strbody As String
Dim link As String
​
​
strbody = "" & _
"Hi team,

Message Body Goes Here.

" & _
"Please click on the following link to fill out the Google form where the time/date will be selected as well as your selected representative- " & _
​
"Best regards,
Employee
Seeking Help"
​
​
Dim OA As Object
Dim msg As Object
​
Set OA = CreateObject("outlook.application")
​
Dim last_row As Integer
last_row = Application.CountA(sh.Range("A:A"))
​
​
​
For i = 2 To last_row
Set msg = OA.createitem(0)
​
msg.To = sh.Range("B" & i).Value
msg.cc = sh.Range("C" & i).Value
msg.bcc = sh.Range("H" & i).Value
msg.Subject = sh.Range("D" & i).Value
msg.HTMLBody = strbody & HTMLBody
​
If sh.Range("F" & i).Value <> "" Then
msg.attachments.Add sh.Range("F" & i).Value
End If
msg.send
sh.Range("G" & i).Value = "Sent"
​
Next i
​
MsgBox "All the mails have been sent successfully"
​
​
End Sub
​
​
​

(Sorry this is a long post)
I 15 M, went to a mental facility last November. I felt like my life was only going down hill and I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone, but I decided to get help before I did anything serious. I confided in my then therapist, and she told my parents that I needed to go in to get evaluated. After waiting 13 hours after my evaluation, an ambulance came and brought me to the hospital.
At that point it was around 1am. I was scared shitless and I was bawling my eyes out. I was lead to an empty room with nothing but 2 chairs and a camera, so that I could get screened and questioned. The nurses asked me usual things, but she had to ask me if I had ever been SA’d, unfortunately I have so I said yes. As soon as I said that I had, her tone changed, before she was not consoling me or anything but she wasn’t mean either. When I told her, her face dropped and she seemed mad, but not made about the fact, mad at me. Her demeanor changed and she even yelled at me to stop crying when I couldn’t answer her questions.
I got into the main facility around 2am. I had to talk to another nurse that asked me all the same questions yet again. At this point I was annoyed but I was just tired and wanted to get it over with. They had to take me to the bathroom and do a “skin check” basically I had to take off all my clothes and show them my SH. After that was over I sat in the day room filling out paperwork and reading through everything that they gave me. I was in just a t-shirt because they took my hoodie (it didn’t have a draw string but apparently the hood was dangerous). It was freezing in there, so I asked for a sweater from the nurse. Needless to say I never got the sweater.
After laying in the most uncomfortable bed, I’ve ever laid in for a few hours. I finally fell asleep, but not for long every 15 minutes a nurse would come in. I’m trying to flashlight into your eyes to make sure you were still alive. There was no way to get out of this because it was mandatory and if you talked back to the nurses would get put in solitary. They also kept the bedroom doors open and the hallway lights were like any other hospital, fluorescent, and headache inducing.
Every day I went by we would wake up take our meds go to breakfast, and then there would be a group every 30 minutes, usually they were therapy groups, but they weren’t very therapeutic because the nurses were just force everyone to share traumatic stories, even though it would would be triggering for some people. If you didn’t Participate in the group. You would either get sedated or put in solitary, another punishment that they had, that wasn’t as bad as the others, was that wouldn’t be able to go to the cafeteria, which wasn’t as bad, but he would be forced to eat anything that they brought back. Every 15 minutes an alarm would go blaring, and someone would get tackled and get a shot. There was screaming throughout the halls every hour of every day, and even into the night, and there was nothing nurses could do to stop it.
TW: this is the scary shit, talking about su1cid3 and SH
I’m not exactly sure which day it was, I think it was my fourth day there, but this is one of the scariest thing happened. It was a weekday, and I was in the teen ward so we had school that day. Everyone was filling out worksheets, and I had to use the bathroom so I asked the teacher if I could go out, and not knowing what was happening, she let me out into the main room. When I left, all could hear was screaming and banging, the classroom was behind a heavy door, so it was hard to hear things in there, but as soon as I opened the door, the room was filled. Everyone thinking that it was just someone having a bad time they didn’t care. As soon as I closed the door all of the noise stoped and there was just heavy breathing and silence. When I walked out into the hallway towards all I could see was blood all over the wall, and a clump of nurses sitting around someone. Non of the nurses noticed me so when I got closer I saw something that will stay in my brain forever. One of the kids had slammed his head into the wall over and over, until he died. The scene was graphic, his head was bleeding still. He was lying face up and there was blood all over his face. No one else saw this, and the nurses told everyone that he had to be transferred to a different hospital, and that they couldn’t give any more details.
The rest of my time there was hell. A few other things happened like someone finding a piece of glass in the yard and SHing with it, and some other stuff. The nurses constantly used snacks and gym privileges over our heads and always threatened to take them away if we did anything bad. There was one nurse that targeted me and this other guy completely, because we were the only boys there, she constantly stayed that we didn’t need as much help as the girls, and yelled at us for crying because “boys don’t cry, you’re supposed to be tough” I didn’t think that was something that people actually said but here we are. So yeah I tried to stay on my best behavior as much as possible just so I could get out of there.
I haven’t told anyone that I know about this because I know that no one would actually believe me especially because the nurses would send out reports of everything that happened in the day to our parents that were just full of bs. I just wanted to get this off my chest, I constantly have nightmares of being back there, and it is constantly haunting me. Some times I am stuck in flash backs and I don’t know what to do. I hope no one can relate but if anyone has similar stories, feel free to share.

Hi everyone.
i'm working on a script that should copy a range of values from another worksheet whenever a checkbox is checked.
I've created 2 sample sheets:
importStaticData1 & importStaticData2
The script is in importStaticData1:
function onEdit(e) {
importStaticData(e); }
function importStaticData(e) { var ss = e.source; var activeSheet = ss.getActiveSheet(); var cell = e.range;
if (activeSheet.getName() == "map" && cell.getA1Notation() == "C3" && cell.isChecked()) { var sourceSpreadsheetID = '1MnKkhpqMcu4f5XDk_Ixsb2WcKkIQroGvVb1B2Jo0xGU'; // Replace 'xxxxx' with the source spreadsheet ID var sourceRange = 'easter2024!D3:M13'; var targetRange = 'G2:P12'; // No need to specify the target spreadsheet ID here
var values = SpreadsheetApp.openById(sourceSpreadsheetID) .getRange(sourceRange) .getValues();
activeSheet.getRange(targetRange).setValues(values); } }
Anyone know why this script doesn't work?
​

Advice needed on inattentive ADHD and mild dyslexia. We suspect our daughter has both. We have met with the school and they’re offering extra support, which we greatly appreciate. They did think it was a good idea to either go to a pediatrician or get a full psych ed due to struggles with academics and also can have a lack of focus. The worst thing is lately her confidence has suffered when it comes to learning 😔
She’s always been spacey, forgetful, doesn’t finish her tasks - basically all the signs of inattentive adhd. But such a sweet kid, makes friends easily, and teachers have commented on high EQ many times and so of course it’s gone under the radar until now. On top of this she has a bday at the end of the year and has always struggled with reading but now in Gr 3 can read pretty well after years of hard work. However we’re finding writing has been hugely challenging and she honestly cannot spell for sh*t lol. Her grandfather is dyslexic so there is a family history.
So now what to do? I have so many questions:

• Psych ed / pediatrician - any recommendations for the North shore? Does psych Ed assess for dyslexia too? Or only ADHD? Should we do both psych ed AND pediatrician?
  
• Anyone have luck using their benefits for psych Ed? I have pacific blue cross and it covers up to $2k but I’m slightly concerned as there’s a limit per session. I reached out to them and their answer was just submit and see what happens?!
  
• For the dyslexia bit, we unfortunately can’t afford an OG tutor at the moment. Are there things I can do to support at home? I have found random OG worksheets online but it’s so hard to follow. Is there an OG workbook or something more defined?
  
• do you have any other tips or advice for what has helped your family? I’m all ears
  

Hi! I have a macro to convert active sheets on my excel into a PDF and I assumed it would save it into the same folder path as the file I'm using, but the save location seems to be different every time depending on the version of the workbook. Sometimes it'll be in my documents folder, sometimes it'll be in the last spot I saved an excel file in. The file will save all PDF's into the same folder, but when we update the information to do a new set of PDF's, the folder location changes. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Here's the code below, apologies for bad formatting:

Sub PDFActiveSheetWorking() Dim wsA As Worksheet Dim wbA As Workbook Dim strTime As String Dim strName As String Dim strPath As String Dim strFile As String Dim strPathFile As String Dim myFile As Variant On Error GoTo errHandler Dim i As Long 'Additions for the list Dim Sh As Worksheet, ShCS As Worksheet Dim MyRange As Range, MyVal As Range, LR As Long Set wbA = ActiveWorkbook Set wsA = ActiveSheet strTime = Format(Now(), "mmddyyyy") 'Additions for the list Set Sh = Sheets("Invoice") Set ShCS = Sheets("To be billed") LR = ShCS.Range("A" & Rows.Count).End(xlUp).Row 'Active Workbook Folder Path strPath = wbA.Path If strPath = "" Then strPath = Application.DefaultFilePath End If strPath = strPath & "\" 'Removing Spaces and Periods in Name strName = Replace(wsA.Name, " ", "") strName = Replace(strName, ".", "_") 'Default Saving File Name, Cell D5 plus Date in MMDDYYYY strFile = Range("D5") & "_" & strTime & ".pdf" strPathFile = ThisWorkbook.Path 'This should export to PDF For i = 8 To LR If myFile <> "False" Then Sh.Cells(2, 13) = ShCS.Cells(i, 1) strFile = Range("M12") & ".pdf" wsA.ExportAsFixedFormat Type:=xlTypePDF, _ Filename:=strFile, _ Quality:=xlQualityStandard, _ IncludeDocProperties:=True, _ IgnorePrintAreas:=False, _ OpenAfterPublish:=False End If Next i exitHandler: Exit Sub errHandler: MsgBox "Could not create PDF file" Resume exitHandler End Sub` 

Hi this is my first post here so I'm open to feedback. I made an alternate way of writing English called Efficient Eŋliŝ or digrafleß Eŋliŝ and I think this is the right subreddit to post it on? The premise is to take almost all of English's digraphs and write them using a single letter, as follows, the first character is my preferred. All others are alternates If you can't type a character easily.
þ or đ is for “th”
ŝ is for “sh”
ĉ is for “ch”
q is for “qu”
ŵ is for “wh”
ŋ or ñ is for “ng”
ô is for “ou” or “ow”
f is for “ph”
k is for “ck”
ł is for “ll”
ß is for “ss”
m is for “mm”
ȝ or ĝ is for “gh”
(These changes would only apply if it would replace an actual digraph, so something like the “th” in “hothouse” would be untouched.)
replace “e” at the end of a word with ('). “el” to ('l), “er” to ('r), and “ed” to ('d), but not at the beginnings of words. idea from Nova_Persona
I write these characters using the danish keyboard which can easily type all of them except, sadly, for yogh.
Updated Example text:
þ' qik brôn fox jumps ov'r þ' lazy dog.
ał human beiŋs ar' born fre' and eqal in dignity and riȝts. þey ar' endô'd wiþ reason and conscienc' and ŝôld act towards on' anoþ'r in a spirit of broþ'rhood.
yô must be þ' ĉang' yô wiŝ to se' in þ' world.
a rołiŋ ston' gaþ'rs no moß
Fe'dbak/constructiv' criticism w'lcom'!
Update: After much deliberation I’ve decided to just make “ô” optional. I have another project called “The Canadian English vowel reform” and my intention was always to use both of these orthography projects simultaneously to write stuff. So, I will make “ô” optional here and move it over there permanently. I want to thank all of the people down in the comments for your help, and a shoutout to Nova_Persona . Thank you.

Hello,
I thought this might be useful to send this out to everyone that manually removes formula on excel files one sheet at a time. I added this code to my personal macro workbook and to my favorites. With the click of a button I was able to remove all formula and keep the exact same formatting.

Sub Remove_Formula() For Each oSh In Worksheets oSh.UsedRange.Value = oSh.UsedRange.Value Next End Sub 

Good luck out there!

Individual letters
Xx /ʔ/
Ⲁa /a/
Aᴀ /ä~ɑ/
Ɜɜ /a̯/
Ƃƃ /b~b̪/
Ƌƌ /d/
Ҽe /e̞/
Eᴇ /ə~ɤ̞/
Ⲋⲋ /ʣ~dɹ̝/
Ff /ɸ˕~ʋ̥/
Ӡӡ /z~ɹ̝/
Hh /∅~h~ɦ/
Ii /i/
Ɨɨ /ɨ~ɯ/
Jj /j/
Kk /k/
Ɑɑ /ɒ/
Ɑ̶ɑ̶ /ɒ̈~ɶ/
Lʟ /l~ɮ/
Mm /m~ɱ/
Nn /n/
Oo /o̞/
Ɵɵ /ɵ̞~ø̞/
Ⴒϱ /p~p̪/
Ɡɡ /t/
Qɋ /q~ꞯ~ʡ/
ⵚɗ /ɢ~𝼂/
Rʀ /r~ɾ/
Ss /s~ɹ̝̊/
ᖶt /β̞~ʋ/
Ⅎɟ /ɹ/
Uu
Ʉʉ /ʉ~y/
Ƿƿ /w/
Gն /ɡ/
Cc /ʦ~tɹ̝̊/
Digraphs
AꞫ /ʕ̞̈~ʕ̞/
ƂH /β~v/
ƂR /ʙ~ⱱ/
ƋH /ð/
ƋL /dɮ/
ⲊH /ʤ~ʥ/
ӠH /ʒ~ʑ/
HJ /ç/
HL /ɬ/
HǷ /ʍ/
ƗJ /j̈~ɰ/
KH /x/
KJ /c/
LJ /ʎ/
NJ /ɲ/
ႲH /ɸ~f/
ꞬH /θ/
ꞬL /tɬ/
QH /χ~ħ~ʜ/
ⵚH /ʁ~ʕ~ʢ/
ⵚR /ʀ/
SH /ʃ~ɕ/
ɄǷ /ẅ~ɥ/
GH /ɣ/
GJ /ɟ/
CH /ʧ~ʨ/
Diacritics
◌̍ /◌ʲ/
◌̊ /◌ʷ/
◌̃ /◌̃/

Yall,, i just gotta get this out cuz my next therapy apmt isn't until abt a week from now lol
This is the first time i've ever legit tried to quit sh (cxtting at least, not incl the hitting). And "legit" meaning quitting for the sake of quitting, not just cuz i need to have that part of my body temporarily healed for a dance/theatre costume or somethin. Like, actually having this as the main focus of my appointments (as i, myself, requested of my therapist). Being given legit worksheets and "homework" to try and complete (again, suggested by myself to her). Actually being guided along and held accountable for the process of quitting.
Like, i'm turning 23 soon, and i just never got around to actually trying to quit, bc i never rly wanted to, even tho i wanted to at some point in the near future. And now that near-future is /now/. And bruh. It's like, not fun.
As this post's title goes: i'm kinda proud of going nearly a month without drawing blxxd (and genuinely wrestling with it several days), but also i rly fckin hate myself for getting so behind in schoolwork and other Tasks and becoming so paralyzed and useless over it that i just keep thinking abt relapsing and how it feels like the more "right" thing to do -- because i just can't accept the fact of myself failing/disappointing myself without doing anything about it (aka punishing myself lol). Like, these past few days have been legit tiring and distracting how hard and frequently i have to convince myself out of it.
Idk, shit's wack. And not being free-without-consequence to sh literally pisses me off (even tho it was my own intention to quit in the first place lmao), but that frustration also kinda... fuels my motivation to keep fighting it? Somehow?? Like i was never a competitive person in any way, but somehow i've legit gotten invested in the challenge of it. Each of the past few days that i've gotten up thinking "i might just relapse today", it's never turned into "i will", bc that would entail me /actively/ choosing to do it in spite of my actual goals, rather than just continuing on pure impulse forever. And so i just don't end up doing it. Interesting lol
I mean i'm sure i'll relapse more than once before fully quitting, but the whole point of making a genuine attempt is that i Make a Genuine Attempt. So as long as i /can/ convince myself out of it/procrastinate it, then i succeed. It's not like a single-time decision each day, it's like, other than the moments inbetween where ur mind is sufficiently distracted by somethin else, it's a continuous mental fight all day, until u just go to bed. And then you'll sleep into the next day, and you've just made it another day.
Sorryy this turned out longer than i expected and now /i/ don't even feel like continuing lol, but yea whatev i just wanted to get it outta my head🤙 thx for reading

I teach 3rd grade. This is the 1st year that we do not teach phonics. Our focus now is on comprehension. Curriculums do not address phonics. State tests do not assess decoding abilities. There is no "foundational skills" component of ELA. Testing requires students to read a passage and answer comprehension questions.
At this point, if they do not know the basic phonetic rules of English, from here on out, they will only be able to pick up additional words that they will learn as sight words. I can get some to a 3rd grade level, but I do review 1st-2nd grade phonics. Unfortunately, I do not have the time to practice these rules as much as is needed for most students. Some students pick them up, some do not.
I need to be teaching morphology to help them acquire additional vocabulary, or figure out the meaning of unfamiliar words. Not vowel teams. Not initial blends. Not basic digraphs.
I do not need students to come to 3rd grade with anything other than the ability to read decodable words, a handful of irregular sight words, and the ability to write a complete sentence. I can handle it from there. I will get those kids to a 4th grade level.
My state has a "read by 3rd" law, which still leaves much room for discretion on the part of teachers, admin, and parents. In my opinion, holding them back and having them retake 3rd grade would do absolutely no good for the students who are reading at a 1st grade level. It would just be another year of frustration, unable to access 3rd grade level material. They need to go back to 1st grade, not retake 3rd. Their reading level might increase to a 2nd or 3rd grade level as they acquire additional sight words (every word for them is a sight word), but they are basically stuck there. After 2nd grade, retention makes absolutely no sense. An 8th grade student who is reading at a 3rd grade level would not benefit from doing 8th grade again. It would make more sense to retain an 8th grade student reading at a 6th or 7th grade level. So they get passed on.
By 3rd grade, students think they can read if they can struggle through a few books, with many miscues, and take away a little meaning. As texts become more complex, they are lost. It becomes identified as a comprehension problem, when, in reality, it is a reading problem. They cannot read grade-level texts and understand them because they are struggling to read. Their whole brains are focused on trying to understand what it is written, and skipping half the words. 3rd grade Common Core standards barely include anything about being able to read. Most of them can be interpreted as comprehension questions in the context of a read-aloud and subsequent discussion.
So yes, 3rd grade looks like a crucial juncture because that is the level that many students seem to be stuck at. 3rd grade is the point where ELA becomes "reading to learn" versus "learning to read." But the problem is what happens before 3rd grade.
Orton-Gillingham teaches phonics from K-2. Kindergarten is simply learning a letter a week, open syllables, and sh, ch, th, wh. That is all they need. 1st and 2nd moves on from there. You can look at the scope and sequence online. It is very slow and very thorough in cementing the ability to decode permanently. Common Core has all of this extra when the focus should be LEARNING HOW TO READ. We can catch kids up on comprehension, but it is almost impossible to catch kids up on foundational skills. After 2nd, phonics is considered intervention, for which many schools do not have appropriate resources. I truly believe that OG, with the addition of fun read-alouds and discussions to build a love of stories and learning new information, increasing vocabulary, helping with phonemic awareness, etc., would literally solve the literacy crisis. Using OG for my tier 2 students in intervention (who came in not knowing letter sounds) has made these students stronger POTENTIAL readers than those who came in as "good enough" readers. My "okay" readers will probably be perpetually stuck at their current level, and are resistant to going back to the basics.
I do not know what to do with my nonreaders, even in 3rd. I cannot imagine what it is like for those of you teaching middle school or high school. For example, we are doing cause & effect. I can read aloud a passage, the questions, and the answer choices. If the child cannot go back to the text, they cannot list the causes of insomnia (recent example). I can reread the passage, but the task basically requires reading, rereading, and thinking. They cannot remember the entire passage, and therefore cannot look back and find supporting details. They can find the cause and effect in a single sentence, read aloud ("It rained, so the fair was cancelled"), but this is not helpful for reading beyond a 2nd grade level.
So here they, are stuck. They need to start from scratch and reconceptualize what it means to be able to read. They need to practice phonics rules with words that they think they know how to read, but they are not reading the words. They just know them. They cannot engage in higher level comprehension activities that require engaging with a longer text that they are able to read independently.
And I really feel for all of you who teach upper grades.
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