Simple inestigatory projects in physics

Marry Me Macbeth would be advertised as an unpublished or "lost" film that finally gets to see the light of day, at first glance it'd be about a smooth & jazzy Romantic Comedy from the early 1990s known as Marry Me Macbeth with a simple but enjoyable story. It'd tell 2 different stories at once, a surface level story and a chilling story below the surface that we have to pick apart for ourselves.
Surface Plot: Macbeth is a damsel mourning over her awful minimum wage job so she comes up with the idea to look for the perfect husband because she can't bear to pay her rent anymore so if she marries him, she'll never have to pay anything again so she finds a good man and does her best to speed up the relationship as fast as she can portraying herself as a simple housewife and talking about a wedding even though they've only been acquainted for a couple days, the entire story pans out over a week requiring really good pacing before she somehow convinces this man into marrying her. Setting would be early 1970s
Hidden Plot: At the beginning of the film, we get pre-debut promotional interviews from the 90s with the stars of the film talking about how amazing the film is and just hyping it. In reality the film that we the audience are watching was made on a haunted studio and tragic events occurred during the making of this film, the producers ignored the locations tragic events and tried to complete their movie on it since it was the cheapest option, but chaos ensues as the creation of this film proceeds, midway through the film there'd also be an extended cut of the pre-debut promotional interviews with the film's stars talking about their strange experiences on set during the creation of Mourning Macbeth. As the surface level story progresses minor eerie events and details would occur throughout Mourning Macbeth that have no connection to the story whatsoever such as a visual/auditory malfunctions and apparitions briefly appearing in scenes without the protagonist paying any attention to them at all would begin to appear, almost as if it's not even a part of the movie.
How it blends together: The idea of this film is to make a deceptively horrific film that acts as an unpublished romcom when it's actually a horror movie about a haunted film project made in a cursed studio.
Cinematography: The film would feel liminal in a sense only ever giving us wide shots on interior areas in very specific angles similar to liminal spaces photos, we'd never see any outdoor areas, the only way we'd know the time of day is light behind windows or no light behind windows. The camera would always give scenes wide shots showing fully what is happening in a location, but we'd be made to feel a strange sense of unease as we are made to focus on the background more than the protagonist, for example the camera might be positioned on the wall presenting a wide shot facing Macbeth doing the dishes with the living room connecting to the kitchen behind her being pitch black and some indistinguishable figure is lurking, watching, not at her, but its looking at you, it knows your there, this movie may be fake, but that sinister abnormality isn't, it notices you. However, something important to mention however, is that the eerie details should never take up the entire screen, they should be minor enough that you can never become accustomed to it, but you can always vaguely have an idea of what it looks like or what it could possibly be but nonetheless even if the protagonist is in the room it should always feel like the deity is focusing on us specifically and not the protagonist, like it is looking through the Lense of the screen. Another way to instigate fear is change the angel at which the scene is being capture when nothing unnatural is happening, hide the corridor out of view when there is nothing unknown to be seen or the audience is no longer intended to pay attention to that area.
Prevalent scenes throughout the film:

• Commercial Break: The film would have a simple short commercial break with a pizza kitchen commercial in which an apparition appears in the background of this scene blending in but standing out, some may not even catch it, those who notice will be left uneasy.
• Dishwashing Scene: The camera is against the wall facing the face of Macbeth as she is doing the dishes for her boyfriend before he can get home from work, behind her is a corridor that leads to the living room, the light is off, and we see a face barely peeking out of the corner, or it looks like a face but it's too grainy, too far to fully describe especially in the darkness, moving too slow to tell what its intent is but fast enough to feel it could be a threat in a matter of seconds. But soon before we get too fearful the angle switches hiding the corridor out of view as the man comes in to greet his future wife in surprise.
• Date Night: Macbeth is having a date with her man at the table, the scene draws to the awkwardness of Macbeth waiting for her date having no one to hold conversation with as jazz is playing in the background and extras are talking to each other on their own date, but there is a symmetrical corridor in the background leading down a hallway but its dark for no reason, something would move into the doorframe just outside of the light without physically moving itself at all, it'd seem to have a face, but its indistinguishable between male or female and it's too far away from the camera to say for certain what exactly it was. Then when Macbeths future husband finally arrives the camera angle switches hiding that corridor from view and giving us a different perspective on their date.
• Bathroom Scene: Macbeth is cleaning the bathroom but leaves the shot to get supplies for an extended time period leaving us to feel like a child without a parent, Macbeth was the little comfort we had but now we don't even have that, there is a small compartment door on the wall beyond the corridor facing the bathroom, after 10-15 seconds of Macbeth being gone it slowly opens, so slowly in fact not a single sound can be heard from it but before it can open to the point we can see inside Macbeth returns back for the scene, as she begins cleaning the small door opens up quickly but the shot cuts off only showing it open half way revealing an eerie unhinged face that can barely be made out from the quick frame, and then it cuts to a normal version of the bathroom scene from the corridors perspective.
• Ending: There'd be a wide shot of a set without any actors, it's the fancy quinine restaurant from the date night scene, dimly lit with a corridor symmetrical to the camera in the background, the apparition slowly creeps out of the corridor towards the camera, moving inhumanly, blending the human and the uncanny, we'd here it is whispering something in an indescribable voice but in cohesive English, it is talking to us, how even when we can't see it, it will be watching from the furthest view, how we thought this was all part of the joke but in fact we are a part of it, talking about how it will peel over our eyes with its sneaky fingers, before it can give us a good glimpse of its appearance the film ends with the credits to the romcom "Marry Me Macbeth". The ending would be ambiguous and leave plenty of things up for interpretation, because something that has always kept a film or any media alive is speculation.

Sources of inspiration:

• Inspiration: Inside No. 9 Season 4 Episode Special Live: Dead Line Oct 28 2018 - video Dailymotion
• Inspiration: The Curse of the Scottish Play Macbeth Royal Shakespeare Company (rsc.org.uk)

I have superior drummer 3 and I'm working on sampling drum stems for my band's album, and using the tracker feature to detect hits and change them over to midi notes. Everything is working fine, I've gotten the hang of triggering events and rendering down a midi file from the stems. The issue I'm having is that my reaper project has songs with multiple tempo changes and they are mapped by tempo/time signature markers on the grid. I have no problems tracking midi files for songs that are one steady tempo all the way through, but when I come to songs with tempo changes I'll render the midi file and put it on the grid as a midi take where the song begins and the tempo is correct up until the tempo change marker. When the tempo changes the midi file speeds up to almost double speed and is obviously way off from the click and scratch tracks. Raw drum stems have their own takes on their own tracks that have been play rate corrected to 1.000 to account for the tempo change markers. Superior drummer is set to follow host and for some reason the midi file is rendered in the speed at which it was performed so I think the tempo change markers are taking the performance and altering the tempo and length of the file itself. I'm stuck at this point. I have some ideas for a work around but I feel like there's gotta be something simple I'm missing. Surely reaper or Superior Drummer were designed with functions like this in mind. Sorry about the word salad, this problem is really difficult to explain simply. Any ideas?

I have superior drummer 3 and I'm working on sampling drum stems for my band's album, and using the tracker feature to detect hits and change them over to midi notes. Everything is working fine, I've gotten the hang of triggering events and rendering down a midi file from the stems. The issue I'm having is that my reaper project has songs with multiple tempo changes and they are mapped by tempo/time signature markers on the grid. I have no problems tracking midi files for songs that are one steady tempo all the way through, but when I come to songs with tempo changes I'll render the midi file and put it on the grid as a midi take where the song begins and the tempo is correct up until the tempo change marker. When the tempo changes the midi file speeds up to almost double speed and is obviously way off from the click and scratch tracks. Raw drum stems have their own takes on their own tracks that have been play rate corrected to 1.000 to account for the tempo change markers. Superior drummer is set to follow host and for some reason the midi file is rendered in the speed at which it was performed so I think the tempo change markers are taking the performance and altering the tempo and length of the file itself. I'm stuck at this point. I have some ideas for a work around but I feel like there's gotta be something simple I'm missing. Surely reaper or Superior Drummer were designed with functions like this in mind. Sorry about the word salad, this problem is really difficult to explain simply. Any ideas?

My GC sister (27f) is emotionally manipulating me (25f) with her kids and guilt trips. I’m fine with all the help I’ve done for her as it was out of the kindness of my heart, but she always likes to throw things she’s done for me, back in my face, or tries to embarrass or confront me only in front of others even though we have been texting on several other social media accounts. The help I’ve given her can never be repaid, as I’ve given her money, time, and energy to raise her kids and get her out of a bind time and time again. I don’t want to be resentful as I saw a good quote about not being able to pay back debt. The thing is, I didn’t view it as a debt until she started acting like I’m shortchanging her, like I owe her something. I’ve never even gotten a thank you, but it wasn’t a big deal, but if she’s going to have a double standard I can only tally and count everything I’ve done for her is more than her husband has ever given her and they’ve been together for over 10 years. I get so angry I can’t even talk to her anymore. Normally I’m okay with all the comments on my clothes, hair, body, I am under a microscope when I visit. And on top of that, I don’t tell my whole family when I’m visiting as there is not enough time or energy for me to visit everyone in the day or two I randomly get to visit, she will tell EVERYONE that I came by. Like you’re making me look bad, you’re making our family upset, and you’re making me not want to visit or talk to you because you twist everything I say. Why do you keep doing stuff like that? Why isn’t there ever any respect for me? You always slander my name and now I just don’t care. I feel so much better now that we are VLC. She doesn’t really get it I guess tho because she keeps calling and texting me everyday even if I don’t respond. And the thing is we’ve NEVER be close or talked a ton. She never wanted to be close. She was always bullying me mentally and physically, and when her husband put his hands on me she got mad at me. Now her calling me everyday just pisses me off. And If I don’t send her some kind of supply she will get the rest of the family I don’t even talk to to tell me to stop being mean to her even though most of our fights are initiated by her. As she is now chronically ill, she doesn’t have the physician leverage over me anymore (6’1GC, and me 5’5 SG). So now she either rages or starts acting really clingy. It’s driving me crazy. Idk what to do I feel like I backtracked so hard inviting them back into my life, idk what to do next if she’s so persistent despite my lack of returning her messages. I do help her financially, but I have stopped as I am in school and working part time. And I have no car, school loans, and no savings, I’ve given her everything I had, because she made me feel like I owed her and later learned she helped facilitate a lot of problems my Nmom caused for me financially. Being around them causes me anxiety, and I forgot that I didn’t have to see them anymore. Crazy right? I’ve just been on go mode after my bfs Covert mom moved in with us begging for some place to stay because she was mad her friend didn’t want to be with her even though he did a ton for her. He gave her $7,000 to find a place. She bought a ton of stuff off Amazon, never paid her share of bills, and never cleaned. She’s triangulated me and my bf for 8 months straight. It took me back to when my mother kicked me out. Having to walk on eggshells, finding new sabotages done by her daily. Like putting her bidet wash clothes under my bath towel instead of where it’s been for months. Like letting it touch. She hated me. She loved her son like you could tell she thought they were dating. He obviously didn’t stick up for me but didn’t want me to leave on my own. She never apologized to me but she apologized to him after she disowned him because he told her that if she wasn’t going to be helpful she could wait in the car, when we were moving and we have BOTH helped her move and she bothered me DAILY for helping her with her projects. On top of not cleaning she had three long hair cats, fought with only the neighbors children and never the parents, yells at everyone, and overall super moody and unpleasant to be around. She sent me PARAGRAPHS. About how hurt she was because she thought I was mad at her. And my bf made me tell her if I was or wasn’t and I asked her and she wouldn’t answer. I’ve been feeling so alone. I’m supposed to graduate college next term and my sister expects to be invited and she’s never asked me about school or anything. No one in my family has. She only talks about herself. Am I narcissistic since I keep attracting the same people with different faces. I don’t got for them they come to me and LATCH. I’ve only picked 3/7 for friends the rest were just victim of circumstance. Do you guys have this problem?

The TM wall of shame (image) highlights there is clearly a problem with TradeMe and alternatives. Just a shout that it's not about me, rather than giving kiwis an alternative to getting rinsed by fees and a platform not fit for purpose.
If I had a dollar for the amount of times in the last week I've heard "that this won't work" and "it's been tried and failed" then I would have absolutely no issue paying my TradeMe balance which is still in negative however those conversations are an opportunity in many ways.
Firstly, what we're working on is completely different (think aggregator, AI, secondhand goods only, in app payments, ID verification, goods wanted section, app first, etc) so if I hear 'it won't work' it means I haven't communicated what we're trying to do well enough. Secondly, I always see it as an opportunity to hear what others believe the solution is.
Some people don't have a solution, some have ideas who have contributed to where we're are at today. But the responses I get often say more about the respondents mindset that they don't want to accept change or they're happy with the status quo.
Change is hard, it's not simple and often requires to failure many times see a positive outcome and I'm completely content with that. Without disruption and a solution-based mindset this world wouldn't be what it is today.
So I'm not here to self-promote and you won't find anything online. I'm here to say thanks for fueling the project I've been working on for over a year now and can say progress is going great.
Keep the constructive posts coming!
I'll reach out to the Mods closer to the time as I'd like to get a Q&A research post approved.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. He has cheating history before he met me, emotional and physical.
Before I met him, I was a very secured person, not needing anyone’s validation for my appearance. I just don’t care. I’m happy. I’m also aware that I dress well, not slutty at all. His guy friends even told him that he has a good one, internally and externally. Some are intimidated. All in all, I seemed to gain their respect.
Since I started dating him, i feel like I’m not good enough for him physically because sometimes he would make a comment about what I’m wearing like “you’re not wearing those pants, aren’t you?” Or when I wear the sexy dress I like, he’d say “that’s simple” and gives me an impression that he likes when I’m wearing something that catches people’s attention, like something a little with gems.
He also looks at attractive girls both in person and his phone. I know this is all instincts. Sometimes he doesn’t remember what they look like. But I know that when he’s drunk, he has a tendency to stare for a while. In my head, when he’s drunk, it takes one woman to entertain him for them to start flirting.
He does want to marry me, want to start a family with me, and we’re both in love. He’s changed so many things for himself just for me and us. Cut porn, doing chores in the house, stopped adderall, lessen weed, and more. Proven and tested. I truly appreciate him for accomplishing these things within a few months.
Would it be reasonable to break up with him because of his gawking tendencies when he’s drunk? I’m scared of getting cheated on and I feel like at one point this is going to happen. I want to run away… He happens to be my dream guy and I happen to be the one he’s been looking for. Like we’re each other’s “The one” and planning to get married. But i don’t know how to shut my fears off.
Would love to hear married women’s and men’s advice.

I currently pay for pro because my needs are pretty simple. I just use it for help with work and some light coding projects I do from time to time.
I barely use it but when I do I usually get close to hitting the rate limit in the webUI. That might have changes since they just changed the limit I think but still the fact remains I used it 2-3 times a week for a few questions and then once very few months for a more complicated session. I was thinking I could save some money by just using the API.
I just setup a self hosted web interface to use with the API and threw in $20 and am going to test it this month to see if I top out my usage but it made me wonder maybe I can use a open source LLM. Not too sure how it works if I can train it myself on the reference material I would like it to help with. Mainly coding and scripting is what I use it for.
How I work. For coding projects I have GPT write almost all of the code. I do iterations see what works and what doesn’t then have it write the final application. I know how to code but GPT is just so much faster and it’s stupid imo to not just have it write the whole thing. I inevitably have to make tweaks and corrections but It works well enough for the type of projects I’m working on that are just for me. Not sure if any other language models can perform as well as GPT for coding. If there is one that is free or at least cheaper than $20 a month for the amount of usage I need then I’d love to hear about it.

We have so many different ways to express our appreciation for things. This series is an expensive list of the subgenres you can use as a writer to describe the projects you are working with.
Respond with anything you think might be missing, or comments on whatever you have that may fit one, or more, of these awesome definitions of subgenres!
This is supposed to be fun, so no rude Dolphin hate!

1. Ergodic Literature: Requires effort from the reader beyond typical reading, often involving non-linear narratives or physical interaction with the book.
   
2. Bildungsroman: A novel that focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the protagonist from youth to adulthood.
   
3. Eco-Horror: Blends elements of horror and environmental issues, often featuring nature as a malevolent force.
   
4. Biopunk: Explores the impact of biotechnology, genetic engineering, and biometrics on society.
   
5. Cli-Fi (Climate Fiction): Focuses on climate change and its effects on the environment and humanity.
   
6. Chick Lit Noir: Merges elements of women's fiction, mystery, and noir, typically featuring a female protagonist.
   
7. Solarpunk: Envisions a future where renewable energy and sustainable living practices prevail.
   
8. Flintlock Fantasy: Features technology equivalent to the flintlock firearm era in a fantasy setting.
   
9. Transrealism: Blurs the line between reality and fiction, often incorporating real-life events and characters.
   
10. Splatstick: Combines slapstick comedy with elements of horror, often involving exaggerated and gory violence.
    
11. Crunchy Noir: A subversion of traditional noir with added elements of comedy and irreverence.
    
12. Kaiju Erotica: Involves giant monsters (kaiju) in explicit or erotic contexts.
    
13. Gastrofiction: Focuses on food and culinary experiences as a central theme in the narrative.
    
14. Biopunk: Explores the societal implications of biotechnology, genetic engineering, and biometrics.
    
15. Dieselpunk: Set in a world where diesel-based technology is prevalent, often in an alternate history.
    
16. Bugpunk: Blends steampunk aesthetics with insect-inspired technology.
    
17. Rural Noir: Noir fiction set in rural or small-town environments, often exploring dark themes.
    
18. Hopepunk: Emphasizes hope, optimism, and resilience in the face of adversity.
    
19. Mannerpunk: A subgenre of fantasy that focuses on manners, social hierarchies, and etiquette.
    
20. Clockpunk: Features clockwork mechanisms and Renaissance-era technology in a fantasy setting.
    
21. Atompunk: Centers around the aesthetics and technology inspired by the Atomic Age and mid-20th century.
    
22. Dreadpunk: A subgenre of gothic horror that emphasizes a sense of dread and unease.
    
23. Decopunk: Set in the Art Deco era, often with a focus on sleek design and glamour.
    
24. Dying Earth Subgenre: Takes place in the last days of a dying world, often with a sense of decay and decline.
    
25. Mannerpunk: Focuses on manners, social structures, and etiquette in a fantastical setting.
    
26. Slipstream: Blurs the boundaries between mainstream fiction and speculative fiction.
    
27. Cattlepunk: A western-inspired subgenre with advanced technology and cattle-centric themes.
    
28. Oceanpunk: Features maritime and underwater settings with a focus on oceanic technology.
    
29. Dolphin Poetry: Poetry inspired by or featuring dolphins as a prominent theme.
    
30. Cat Poetry: Poetry centered around cats as a significant subject.
    

I'm making a little database for all of my electronic components. I am not a programmer. I have never even heard of anything like MySQL until today. It'll be entirely for personal use.
My goal is to make a little terminal that I can use to make an inventory system for all of my electronic components. I want to store information about each part.
For example, if I have a resistor, I want to store the if it is a thru hole or smd component, what the resistance value is, if it is carbon, metal film, a variable resistor, it's resistance value, the manufacturer part number, the quantity I have in stock, etc.
And do that for hundreds of different types of components
I want to be able to add more and remove old components at will, and search and sort through them easily using a simple interface. I want to pull numbers and info directly from the database and display them simply.
This is way too much info to just pile into a spreadsheet and still have it easy to read.
Is making a database using MySQL what I need to solve this?
I have started learning already how to use MySQL with python, and have a database server running on my PC. I have gotten in way over my head in what was supposed to be a quick project.
Before I go deeper down this hole, is MySQL really what I should be using to achieve my goal? Should I be doing something else?
Is using Python to manipulate and pull information from the database a good idea? Is it easier to use something else?
Thank you for any help.

An MLB never was who can’t let it go.
This is going to be kinda long. As a high school senior, I held the title of being a top 100 MLB prospect, and top 15 pitcher. From a young age, I knew that I possessed a talent that set me apart from my peers, and I knew had to posses a certain dedication to the sport only fueled my ambitio.
It was during my sophomore year of high school that everything changed. A growth spurt catapulted me from a 5'8, 175-pound freshman to a towering 6'3, 230-pound sophomore. My fastball gained momentum, progressing from 83 MPH to 87, then 92, and finally reaching an impressive 96-97 MPH by my senior year. My curveball possessed a remarkable 2-7 break,
The attention I garnered during my junior year was overwhelming. Colleges and recruiters flocked to my games, and my mailbox overflowed with letters from fans and scouts alike. Interviews, radio shows, and local television appearances became routine as my teenage ego soared to new heights. I basked in the glory of being recognized everywhere I went, signing autographs for eager kids and shaking hands with baseball enthusiasts who admired my talent. Even my school held a pep rally in celebration of my selection for the 18U World Cup team. I was invited to speak at schools, fundraisers, and churches, feeling like the center of the universe.
As the MLB draft approached, I anticipated an early selection. However, the reality fell short of my expectations. The rounds came and went, and it wasn't until the end of the 7th round that I received the call from skipper (an MLB manager) . The plan was to start in summer ball, then progress to low A ball before eventually moving up to High A. I was deemed a "project pick" with immense potential. Yet upset I was selected so late I made the decision to forgo signing and opted to attend college for a year, hoping to raise my draft stock.
Winter camp came and went, and as a freshman, I was honored to be placed third in the rotation. Physically, I felt better than ever, ready to conquer the world. However, fate had other plans. On my third pitch, a 2-seam fastball, disaster struck. Numbness and excruciating pain overtook my fingers and elbow, leading me to the hospital. The diagnosis was a fully torn ulnar collateral ligament, requiring immediate Tommy John surgery. My dreams of a baseball career were abruptly shattered before they even began.
My coach informed me that while the university would support me, they had to cut my scholarship. I was still welcome at practices and games but without financial aid. Months of grueling physical therapy followed, though I didn't approach it with the seriousness required of an aspiring professional athlete. My invincibility complex led me to believe that I could bounce back effortlessly.
After 11 grueling months, I finally received the green light to resume throwing. My pitching coach reached out to smaller colleges and Juco schools that had expressed interest in offering me a scholarship to aid my comeback. A private pitching session was arranged, but it quickly became apparent that I was not in "baseball shape." My once blazing 97 MPH fastball had diminished to a mere 84 MPH disaster. Dishearteningly, not a single scout showed any interest. The Juco schools rejected me, leaving me at a crossroads.
Determined to make one final attempt at a baseball career, I dedicated six months to rigorous training. However,afterwards my fastball only reached 87 MPH during a private workout in front of scouts. It was good, but not good enough to secure a D1 scholarship offer. And just as quickly as I had burst onto the scene, I faded into obscurity. The next few years were filled with occasional whispers of my name around my small town. I was asked to speak to my alma mater's varsity baseball team a couple of times, but the adoration and recognition I once reveled in had vanished. Today, I sell insurance (Cliche I know), Occasionally, a random client will remember me and ask about my past achievements, but those moments grow fewer with each passing year.
As I reflect on my journey, I am plagued by questions. Should I have signed when I was originally drafted? Did my ego lead to my downfall? Could I have reached the pinnacle of the sport with the superior training, diet, and medical resources offered by the MLB and its minor leagues? Regrettably, the answers remain elusive, lost in the realm of what-ifs and missed opportunities.
*Feel free to AMA about any questions you may have. (short of answering questions that will give away my complete identity I’ll be happy to answer)

I know this is an ELUCID project, but does anyone know if this released physically in any form? I really want it on cassette if there is one.

My endoscopy was a few days ago and I'm just dwelling on it while I wait for pathology to review the biopsies and to culture for H pylori
In my case, everything looked good but there was patchy redness in my stomach body and antrum, some drops of coffee ground looking blood that my gastro couldn't find a source for, and a 15 millimeter mass near my pylorus. Its a submucosal lesion so its in the stomach tissue layers, not sitting ontop. Odds heavily favor it being a lipoma rather than cancer. Gastro is hesitant to declare gastritis until they report on the histology but I'm just being a bit impatient while bored & waiting
Gastro did mention gastroparesis as being a possibility during our very first visit. I'm curious if this mass is causing a physical bottleneck which could be why the bottom of my stomach is irritated and that irritation could be why I'm nauseous all the time. I'm so eager to have my freedom back after 7 years of being held hostage by sensitive guts, I really do hope it'll be as simple as just pulling out a piece of wayward fat
Yall ever hear about something like that?

It had been a long time. A long while, indeed, since the hives were removed from Nostramo. In their place came the endless fields of corn, the unwavering sway of the stalks as they rose out of the land. Of course, any person who knew Nostramo knew that this world wasn't truly the Planet of Darkness; it simply shared a name by sheer coincidence. This world was bright, temperate, and fertile. No pollution clogged the rivers and skies, even as bulk machines designed for the sole purpose of moving unimaginable quantities of grain to and fro went about their business. Humanity had learned long ago that the sun was necessary for crops to flourish, so the expense to keep the world clean was made. Nostramo was a world of life. It had to be in order to survive.
Scarecrows, intended to thwart the predations of hungry birds, rose tall above even the crops. They, by themselves, were hardly effective. The birds were too wise to be frightened by inanimate sticks. What was effective, at least for this one tiny part of the world, was the plate the scarecrow had been adorned with. The armor was a faded sapphire, somewhere between the blues of an ocean and the blue of old Nostramo's skies. Yet, the plate was marred with the scars of time. The blue had been worn away by the passage of years with no protection from the elements, and cracks and crevices from battle were many and they were deep. The passage of centuries had only worsened them. Now, it hardly even resembled armor, despite its once-mastercrafted artifice. It was a shadow of its former self. Glory—if the ceramite plates ever truly knew glory—was long gone, now. Rivets that once held pieces of flayed skin and the bones of poor, unfortunate souls now rested happily empty.
There was also a house. It was a simple prefabricated hab unit, only sized up to accommodate a being far larger than any normal human. Time had worn it down, too, but the rockcrete remained strong even as the white paint that once gave it a dash of vibrancy had peeled away and left only a stone gray visage. The roof was little more than a slightly tilted set of squares, designed to remove rain while only necessitating the bare minimum of extra material. Some parts of the unit were splotched with yellow pollen, and an odd vine curled up the side, almost making the place appear rustic.
And a woman emerged. She was tall. Unnervingly so. Even with the enlarged door, she risked slamming her head into the doorframe if she did not exercise caution. Her black hair was tied into a simple braid, though it was long enough to reach the small of her back. Scars—deep ones—crowded the area around her mouth like unwanted guests. Her clothes were simple and unrefined; a plain gray tunic and an unimpressive skirt covered her from her neck to her ankles, leaving only her head and arms exposed. She wore boots underneath it all, but one could only cast small glimpses of them from between the hem of her skirt and the length of the grass she tread upon.
Kassandra Curze was a woman long forgotten. Once, she had been known as the Night Haunter. A long time ago, she had sought justice and enacted it in whichever way she saw fit. Once, she had been seen as a woman who no one could trust. She was a tool to be maintained, to be utilized and then discarded when the work was done. Not any longer. For all anyone knew, the Night Haunter was dead.
She had heard stories, of course, of the Galaxy beyond Nostramo. She knew of her sister Guilliman's return and the wars she fought, how the Avenging Daughter of the Imperium bloodied her hands to keep Mankind safe. Kassandra knew of this. She knew that men and women who called themselves her children died every day, trying to enact the will of a Primarch they believed long dead. Her will.
"Redeem us," she had said. "Protect Mankind."
She sighed as the memories rushed back into her. Yet, despite the pain of those recollections, she spared a half-smile. If she was looking back, it meant she was not looking forward. She had not had a vision in millennia. It was one of many blessings she believed she did not deserve. Yet, she took them, fearing the alternative. Better to bask in rewards unearned than to be soaked in the just punishments. Truthfully, she feared justice. She had no delusions against the reality that, if anyone deserved to be burnt alive or hanged from a rope, it was her.
Yet she still lived. She lived here, by sheer coincidence, on a planet called Nostramo that was not Nostramo. She tended to crops. She repaired bulk movers and operated servo-harvesters. She could predict what the weather in three weeks was going to look like just by smelling the air. Her crops contributed to the war efforts, and she made her contribution to the tithe. She had been doing that for thousands of years. Surely, she had done more for the Imperium than most women could do. Surely she had earned some small piece of redemption, just by staying still and not hurting anyone. Just by eating and drinking alone, without anybody to injure or torture with her presence.
As she made her way toward the field, she whispered to herself, "The Night Haunter is dead."
The stalks were tall enough that they would have surpassed even an armored space marine in height, but she stood a head taller than them. If she looked out while standing in the field, she could see the horizons in all directions, with only a few odd hab units breaking up the perfect solitude of the endless sea of grain. Birds who made their nests amidst the fields swooped around. There were cats who lived in the fields, Kassandra knew. They were put there to hunt the birds, who ate both the crops and the insects who lived on them. She had always wanted to touch one of them, but they refused to draw near, even at the promise of food.
She slipped through the fields with the grace of a butterfly and began to examine the crops. The ones in section 1-A were in good condition. 1-B was struggling with a stalkbeetle infestation. She would have to requistion some pesticide. 1-C was good. 1-D flourished. 1-E was beautiful. She kept going through the sections of her field, scanning for any possible variance, any discrepancy that she needed to be concerned about. The administratum believed that there was a team of ten workers living in her hab unit. They were wrong, but she could do the work of ten men and then still have time left in the day to do other things.
When she finished the final section assigned to her, she departed from the field. She went home. She sat in her empty bedroom (if an empty chamber could be called that) and meditated. She could always feel the pricks of the future gnawing at her mind, trying to force their way in, but something stopped them. Even as her subconscious tried to skim the threads of time, it refused to delve into the deeper waters. Even if she tried to see something, she could not. Her foresight had left her.
Meditation was not something that had come naturally for her. She was once a being who was so utterly lost in her own torment that the idea of any self-reflection physically pained her. When she first struggled with those memories, the attacks had come. Moments where she could not breathe, even though there was air and her superhuman physique should have meant she could have survived even in the vacuum of space. Moments where she felt so small and vulnerable, despite her giant frame and overwhelming strength. Her heart racing even faster than it did in battle because when she was fighting she was in control of herself. When she fought the beast in her mind, she was not in control.
But that hurdle, though it had taken centuries to overcome, was simply an obstacle, and there was no task one of the Emperor's Daughters could not complete. Not that she took any pride in being related to the Emperor, of course; she simply saw the reality.
She opened her eyes. As her mind returned to the sensations of the world, she whispered to herself, "The Night Haunter is dead."
She left her bedroom and went to the kitchen. This was the one luxury she afforded herself, to honor the one person who had ever taken the time to know her. They had loved to bake, so she learned as well. Anyone, given thousands of years with which to practice, would become skilled in any craft.
Soon, the smell of freshly-baked pies and bread wafted out of her open windows. There was no one to smell them, and no one to share them with. She ate alone. Loaves of bread, fruit pies, chocolate tarts, and jams and butters with which to garnish them were all devoured quickly. She could taste every last flavor, could perfect every single modicum of sweetness until it practically melted away in a cloud of bliss, but she never enjoyed this part. It reminded her of all the things she did not have, and then she disliked herself for wanting more mercies than she had already been granted.
Then, when she was done eating and the sun was set, she went to sleep on the floor. Then she woke up the next day.
And she did it all again. Over and over again, without fail, without the slightest instance of change. It was peaceful.
A knock came on her door while she was baking. They called her name, not the false name the governor's inspectors knew her by. It was a woman's voice, boisterous and grizzled. Instantly, she knew who the voice belonged to: Leona El'Jonson. There were other women who sounded like that, but none could match the timbre of the Lion. Kassandra knew it as though the sound were engraved into her very soul.
She pulled a knife from the cabinet. For a normal human, it would have been the size of a longsword.
She whispered to herself as she approached the door slowly, "The Night Haunter is dead."
The door opened, and she saw the Primarch of the First Legion. She was wearing her armor. She was unarmed, however, and she looked... older. Her once pristine blonde hair was flecked with gray. The shadows of wrinkles pulled at her features, like a normal woman in her late thirties. And the steel daggers her eyes once held weren't there. Her face was almost... soft.
"Curze," the Lion said. Her voice, at least, hadn't changed.
"El'Jonson," Kassandra responded.
The sisters looked at each other. Kassandra realized with a chill that the Lion looked awkward. There was no certainty in the woman's eyes. Not like there had been during the Heresy or the Scouring. Not like there had been during the Great Crusade.
Was this really Leona El'Jonson?
"You look different," the Lion commented. "Much calmer. Peaceful."
Kassandra just stared. Surely, the knife in her hand—she had it hidden behind the doorframe—had not escaped her sister's notice. The Lion knew it was there, right?
Then, as the Lion's eyes burrowed into her own, she understood that yes, she did know. What was she thinking? Leona El'Jonson was never a deceitful woman. She had never once told a lie, and her coming to this house unarmed meant she had no intention of causing a ruckus. At least, not yet.
It meant she was vulnerable. Kassandra could get rid of her now. She could plunge the knife into the 1st's throat and no one would ever know. She knew, without her even saying, why she was here. She wanted to bring her back. She wanted her to fight. She wanted her to be at the head of the Night Lords again, to fight against the enemies of the Imperium like she had ten millennia ago. One simple murder would end this before it even began. First it was the Lion, then it would be Guilliman. Then it would be Dorn, maybe, or Corax. Maybe even Aurelia would come down and beg her to turn coat.
No. No more.
Kassandra's brow furrowed in agitation. "I'm staying here. The Night Haunter is dead."
The Lion looked back at her with a thoughtful expression on her face. She pinched the bridge of her nose anxiously—a new habit; perhaps she picked it up from Guilliman—and asked, "May I come in?"
She wanted to say no. More than anything, she wanted to say no. But she smelled the peanut butter pie from the kitchen that she knew she would normally have eaten by herself and something cracked. Something poked at her eyes, then. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that she hadn't experienced in millennia. She kept her face even, but her mouth betrayed her: "Yes," she answered.
She guided the Lion into the kitchen and stabbed the knife into the cutting board—a warning—then she pulled out a chair for her sister to sit in. The table was far larger than a woman living alone needed. Thirty-seven chairs, all evenly spaced, rested in a perfect circle around the table. Pies and loaves of bread adorned it like decorations, despite their smell. These details did not escape the Lion's notice as she sat down. "I did not take you for the sentimental type, Curze."
"I am not," Kassandra responded. She pulled another set of pies out of the oven—lemon—and moved them to the table.
The Lion spared one last gaze at the expansive table and the feast that had been laid out before her and chanced a sad smile. "No. No, you're not."
Kassandra handed her sister a plate, a knife, a spoon, and a fork, then sat down. She pulled a slice of apple pie onto her plate, then slapped a dollop of ice cream onto it. She then grabbed one of the seasoned loaves of bread and set it down next to her plate. "Eat," she said. "They're better fresh."
There was discomfort in the way the Lion picked items to add to her plate. She placed a cinnamon roll in front of her, took small bites of it until it was gone, then quietly grabbed another. The sisters, for a time, ate in silence.
Almost, Kassandra wished the Lion would just eat her sweets and leave. She hoped El'Jonson would get the picture: Kassandra Curze was a new woman, living a life that she wanted, not the one that had been forced onto her. But, of course, she had to ask. "Why are you here, El'Jonson?"
The response came quickly. The Lion seemed to ease up, the territory becoming more familiar than sitting quietly and eating sweets. "I came to fetch you."
Kassandra set her fork down with a distinct clink. She stood and pulled a jar of strawberry jam from her cabinet. "Would you like some?"
Anger began to spread across the Lion's face. "You mock me."
"What if I do? What are you going to do about it, El'Jonson? Are you going to send your Angels here to destroy my crops and raze my home to the ground? Such measures are not beneath you." Kassandra's tone was even and controlled. Her heart, however, began to race. Thoughts began to swarm her, too many to control. What if she were persuaded? What if the Lion forces her? What if she destroys her new Nostramo just to get her to leave? What if she already informed her Legion, and her children are on their way to take her back to the wars?
She turned back to the cabinet to put the jam away.
"The Imperium is dying, Curze. It is split asunder. I've yet to even see Guilliman, but she and I are the only ones left, aside from you."
"What?" Kassandra wheeled around to face her sister. She looked for some semblance of dishonesty in the Lion's face, but there was none. She told the truth. "Only us three remain?"
"All the others are dead or missing. Even Aurelia has disappeared, gone in pursuit of Little Light. There is no one left to fight."
"Even Sanguinia?"
"I'm told she has not left Baal since her Dove died during the Siege of Terra." The Lion looked weary for a moment. "I'm sorry, Curze. I wish our reunion could have been done under better circumstances, but-"
"Better circumstances?"
The Lion looked shocked, both by the sentiment that had come out of her own mouth and by the venom with which Kassandra had spewed her reply. Her body tensed, preparing for a fight.
"For ten thousand years, I have tended to this farm. I have not harmed a soul in all that time. I have done my duty as a citizen of the Imperium. I have done everything in my power to make sure that my sins are wiped away, and all you do to wipe away my grievances with you are some honeyed words of apology for bothering me? Odd for you, granted, but no less unwanted. Perhaps I should have turned coat with Aurelia when I had the chance. Then, at least, my wishes would be treated with some respect."
The Lion, taken aback, sighed. "Kassandra." She stood and moved around the table toward Kassandra, doing her best to make the motion seem gentle. She wanted to appear kind. "I made mistakes. Too many to count. I hurt my children, I hurt my loved one, and I hurt you. I see that now. Every day, I wish I had not."
Kassandra watched as tears slipped down Leona El'Jonson's face. She watched as the stone slab of a woman began to cry. Wetness made lines down the 1st Primarch's face, leaving stains that would take hours to leave her skin. Even as she cried, however, her face remained still.
The shock manifested in half-spoken words. "Leona, what are you-"
"I know I have no right to come down to your home and ask you to take up your sword again. I know you have found a measure of peace here. Believe me when I say I do not want to destroy that. To destroy this." She motioned to the sweets arrayed on the table. This was the closest thing the sisters had ever been to being a family. Suddenly, Kassandra knew that Leona understood. "This is what all of us have been fighting for all of this time. A chance to be together. We might not have said it, but that is what really caused all of this. Our chance to be a family has passed us by, but we can stop others from feeling that pain. The Imperium is made up of daughters and sons. Of mothers and fathers. Of brothers and sisters. I fight to protect them, Curze, and so do your children."
Finally, something to pick at. "You lie. The Night Lords would never-"
"The VIIIth has changed. They have taken your words to heart, Kassandra."
"What are you talking about?"
Leona reminded her of words that she had not heard for millennia. "Protect Mankind. That is what you told them, isn't it? All this time, they have followed the words of their Primarch."
"You... You're lying. That Legion of madmen would never listen to me. It's impossible. El'Jonson, you are lying to me!"
"I am not."
"You are. You've come to take me back to them. They want me to lead them, to be the lunatic that leads their merry band of insane scum. I refuse. I refuse to play that role again. The Night Haunter is dead! She is dead!"
"Kassandra Curze!"
The shout stopped Kassandra. She turned away from Leona and looked into the empty sink, seeing her reflection in the metal basin. "The Night Haunter is dead."
"I do not want the Night Haunter. I want you, Kassandra. But we must go soon. Beyond Nostramo, the Galaxy burns. It needs you."
As she stared into the basin, Kassandra had a vision. She watched as she gazed into the eyes of Leona, with the 1st plunging knife into her throat. The knife currently resting in her cutting board. She watched, with cloudy eyes, as she squirmed and fought only to be overpowered by her armored sister. The 1st came here to kill her. She is a traitor.
She reached for the knife.
For a brief moment, she felt something touch her hand. It was a feeling she had not felt in a long time. She smelled the sweets on the table. She listened to the swaying of the fields outside. She felt her own breath, moving in and out gently. She looked at her sister, stern as ever. She heard a voice. Stop, my love, it said. I am here. I will keep you safe.
She stopped herself from replying. She knew it was just a trick of the mind. It was a hallucination to be ignored. Her lover was dead.
Leona came over and grabbed her. At some point, Kassandra had fallen to the ground. She had her arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tightly. What was she doing? Was she trying to suffocate her? Was this an attempted murder?
Then the memories. The flashes of warmth, of love. The brief moments of respite amidst the sea of pain. She remembered her love, and how they used to hold her. How they used to hug her, to embrace her with their little arms and somehow make her feel like she wasn't the worst woman in the universe. She felt Leona holding her tightly, securely, like she was afraid to let go, and she felt that again.
And, for the first time in ten thousand years, Kassanadra Curze cried.
As she cried, she had another vision.
There was a house. It was a simple prefabricated hab unit, only sized up to accommodate beings far larger than any normal human, but also large enough to hold a lot of people. There was a fresh coat of white paint on the outside, and inside there were many rooms. There was a bedroom with a large bed fit for a Primarch and her lover. There was a nursery painted dark blue, like the midnight sky hanging over Nostramo. There was a kitchen, where Kassandra was hard at work making pie and bread and other baked goods. There was the sound of happy mingling coming from the dining room, where the table was already stacked full with food. And, filling all of the chairs, were her family. Smiling. Happy. Together.
And her belly was swollen with the light of new life. And as she carried the last pie into the dining room, she felt the warm gazes of her sisters, of their spouses, of her father, and of her love, and she smiled.
Then she was back in reality. She looked at Leona.
"This dream that I have," she said. "Is it worth fighting for?"
Leona placed her forehead against Kassandra's. "If even Kassandra Curze can have hope, then Humanity's dream is not yet dead." She pulled away, "But to reach that, we must fight."
Kassandra looked out her window. She saw her old armor hanging on the scarecrow, as beat up as it was. "Tell me," she began, "where is my Legion?"

Purely hypothetical and letting the imagination run wild; but in the event of another remake or even a whole new game, what thoughts do you have for additions to Isaac's tools and RIG?
I'm sure not everyone will agree, but here are a few random pipe dreams I've imagined since the release of the remake:

1. A hold function for Stasis. A simple button tap would still produce the classic localized shot of Stasis, but holding down could project a more concentrated beam-fire of Stasis energy. This would, of course, quickly deplete the entire reserve of loaded energy and require a pack after use. But it could be utilized for a greater range, and depending on the mass of the target (as well as whether organic or inorganic material) it could possibly bring said target to an actual complete standstill. Duration could also vary.
   
2. Grav-boot thruster jump. The RIG and boot thrusters can be a literal blast of fun in antigravity situations. But the implementation of using the same force to create a small jump in artificial gravity could be equally enjoyable as well. Unsure of how the power source would function, but clearly this should be a limited-use addition. (I found the crouch and dodgeroll ability in DS3 entertaining, this idea was born from that function.)
   
3. Manual helmet control. If the collapsible helmets were to make a return, a manual control to breakdown and reassemble helmets at will would be fantastic. Instead of only cutscenes allowing the removal of Isaac's helmet, also allowing the player to choose when and where they wished to progress the story with Isaac fully geared up or face exposed could add some interesting features. Like whether or not certain areas (like decompressed and oxygen-void zones) would even allow one to remove it, and if so, could cause an instant death. Another graphic death scene! As well as fighting against enemies and hordes without the helmet would drop the armor rating and inflict a greater damage from each successive hit.
   

Any more interesting thoughts or ideas you may have?

WOWWWW is memecoin based on Owen Wilson and his famous “Wow“. This brings an enourmous amount of memes and huge potential. There is no way WOWWWW will not reach millions an I'll tell you why:

• WOWWWWS through the ages - Every wow in chronological order. For every $1m in market cap a new wow will be unlocked. 102 wows, $102 million. Because the market loves a target
• Brand new meme coin concept, Unlimited meme potential
• Owning the fact it is a simple meme coin run by degens and nothing more. Think dog wif hat, crow with knife - don't try to be something you're not -Regular Reddit, Twitter and meme coin competitions with prizes
• Strong community only a few days after launch
• Solid marketing budget and future plans

WOWWWW is currently sitting at 150k market cap but I see it going above 1mil minimum.
Tokenomics and project details:

• Supply: 1 billion
• Mint and freeze authority: Locked
• Mint Authority: Revoked
• Liquidity pool tokens: Burnt
• Rug Check Score: Good
• Website: https://wowwww.me
• Dex: https://dexscreener.com/solana/d1yr4ttq3vyngzn91y1kigctuevshkppuxop7jwdb1j7

TLDR: I made a simple page where I add and update job listings daily, specifically for students and recent graduates in Computer Science – whether you're a college student, bootcamper, or self-taught enthusiast. Check it out at https://thenewgrad.com/
I graduated in 2023 and like many others, applied to over 400 jobs before I got one offer. The job market is tough, the competition is no joke, and it doesn't seem to get any easier. A year ago, a user built a similar site that helped me a lot by consolidating all the job listings in one place. Unfortunately, that site no longer exists. So, I decided to build something similar because it was incredibly useful to have all the jobs in one spot, filter them, and know they were truly for early-career folks.
LinkedIn, Indeed, and other job boards are great, but even with all the filters, they can be frustratingly inaccurate. If you search for an "entry-level" position, you often find listings asking for 3-5 years of experience. Seriously?
To revive that helpful project, I built https://thenewgrad.com/ with Next.js, React, and Airtable. I’m committed to updating it daily with jobs that actually fit people with no or little experience (up to 1 year). And just like the original project, I hope that others will join me and also send job links (there’s a link on the site for submissions).
I believe that if this helps even one person, it’s worth it. Regardless of the visible progress, I’ll keep updating the site until the end of 2024 as well.
Good luck to those applying, and if you haven't found a job yet, I know it is absolutely hard (especially when people you know are getting offers left and right), but keep applying, practice your leetcode, and it will eventually come.
On the site you can feed new grad roles and internships. Any suggestions on what to add / remove are highly welcomed!
Link to original project post: https://www.reddit.com/csMajors/comments/10uxpsz/handpicked_jobs_for_computer_science_folks/

Hello all, I am David, chief of the medical ward, and I think everyone this is aimed at knows who I am. In the wake of our newfound Consortium allies and the construction of our new surface city Tellus has been getting a lot of visitors, including quite a few who have come to work here which has led to a new bit of interaction we had not quite expected: Children.
Our our very few daycares have already been swamped, particularly due to the krev visitors, and issues have arisen so I come to inform you about the idiosyncrasies of the infants of our alien friends, both should you be their caretakers for any reason or also should you or your own children be interacting with them:
Krev

• Yes, they’re actually that small. No, you were not lied about their age. Krev do not have a growth spurt like we do, instead growing evenly throughout their entire life, continuing to grow well past adulthood before they reach their full size.
• Despite what you might initially imagine, krev are adept climbers much like we are. Which means kids will attempt to get everywhere they should not be, they will try to climb on furniture and windows.
• Though krev children are hardier than human children, their nascent scales are still rather soft. Scale fractures are dangerous and prone to infection, treat them like you would a deep cut despite the appearance of superficial damage.
• Krev claws are not particularly sharp, but they are not harmless. It is how they interact with the world, so make sure to wear something that can handle them.
• When holding a krev baby, they are to be held with the belly down and with support under their chin. They will instinctively wrap their tails around your arm. Do not hold them on their back, having an exposed belly makes them nervous and uncomfortable.
• Much like human children, krev children are likely to put anything in their mouths so treat them the same. No, do not allow them to just eat any rock either.
• The krev do rely on consuming hard objects to assist with digestion, however, children especially should not consume any random one. Please ensure they have access to proper, clean and sanitized digestion stones. Attached to this message is a list of all the best options as well as budget options, including especially digestible ones.
• They eat rocks to aid digestion, those are going to make their way out the other way. Do not be surprised. PS: Humans are not built for that, if I get another one in the medical ward with that problem I will let them deal with it the hard way. If you absolutely must please try the children’s pellets at least those won’t hurt you.
• Yes, they are very cute and delightfully round when they curl up. But they are not balls to be played with and you should ensure the children under your care are aware of that, remember they might be very small but human feet are weaker than krev scales. To those of you worried, Mary and Rikki are well and recovering from the broken foot and arm, respectively. PS: No, the fact you’re consenting adults changes nothing. In fact it makes it worse, krev are dense and built to not be moved. At least I learned where the kids got it from, shame on the both of you.
• Krev have a gland in their tails capable of spraying an incredibly foul-smelling fluid. Do not be fooled, its usage is not a type of instinctive or fear reaction as they are fully in control of it. It is in fact extremely rude to employ it and because kids will be kids ensure to keep a can of neutralizer available. Should you not be able to find any in the local pharmacies, citric smells do a decent job at counteracting it.

Resket

• It has come to my attention that some eggs have been put in the care of our daycares. Those require specific care, being kept on a soft surface (if you do not have nesting fiber a stack of bedsheets will do) as well as away from direct sunlight for extended periods of time. Resket eggs are harder than you think and they can handle an appreciable thermal variance, but avoid allowing the local temperature to fall below 17C.
• The youngest resket chicks will be featherless and baby clothes for them are available. They are very vulnerable in this stage of life so do not be fooled by the older ones’ lack of procilivity for clothing and ensure the parent has brought their chick’s clothes.
• Resket are not mammals, however, as avians they are fed with crop milk. Our own sensibilities about it aside, ensure that proper crop formula is available for your resket wards below the age of five. Should none of it be available for some reason, attached to this warning are a few interim recipes useable in an urgency.
• Resket are adept runners, they are even born knowing how to walk and learn to run very quickly and this means one thing: They get the zoomies. Yes, it is very cute to watch the young resket sprinting around and chirping without a care but you must ensure they have either a wide open field in which to exercise or that your interior’s surfaces are well padded as they will run into things, including furniture and walls.
• During rest time resket will feel most at ease with something both soft and heavy on their bodies as they will usually be nested on by their parents. Weighted blankets are the preferable solution, with artificial feather weighted blankets being available.
• Resket chicks are moody, much more so than human ones, and often prone to tantrums and fits. Do not be afraid to be stern or even loud as they respond better than we do to such tactics but make sure to always temper it with praise afterwards.
• Resket are large and as such so are their children, always be cautious when they are around children the same age and for the love of god tell our children to stop trying to ride them. Especially if they allow it. Yes, it’s cute, but only until they topple over and crush the other child with their weight. PS: Yes, I know you’ve seen adults doing that. Those were trained (and irresponsible) soldiers. Chicks do not have as good sense of balance yet.

Ulchid

• Above all else make sure to have the parents’ documentation on hand when receiving or handing off the children. Yes, I know it’s standard procedure but pay extra attention with the ulchid, there will be twenty different people coming for the same children and yes they are all legal guardians of them.
• Should the unthinkable happen and a child be handed over to the wrong family be sure to call your contact with the family as soon as possible, chances are the child has already been returned to them. The party responsible for this warning has already been fired.
• Our installations are not built to ulchid specifications, as such vertical mobility is particularly burdensome for them, triply so for children. When moving between floors without an elevator you will be required to carry the ulchids.
• Portable pools have been made available for any place that sees ulchid children, it is important to give them access to water with at minimum shallow diving depth in order to foster healthy growth. Yes, you can let the other kids play in the pool, but remember to give priority to the properly aquatic species.
• Ulchid come in groups and so do their children, if one of them has come to your daycare expect at least another eight.
• Ulchid children are as social as their parents and in turn need extensive playtime. Should be noted that ulchid require even more varied play than other species and in general are better served with handling it themselves even at a young age without caretaker intervention.
• If you are experiencing consistent headaches, please experiment with using the special headphones made available for you. Ulchid language uses sounds that can cause headache in specially sensitive individuals and their infants’ need for communication leads to a consistently noisy environment.
• When taking care of groups with multiple species, ensure to moderate the ulchid natural communal nature to avoid them becoming overbearing to others, this young stage of life is the most important for them to learn the different limits of different species.
• On the same topic, always be cautious of ulchid children who are in smaller groups. We do not naturally process a group of three as being isolated but to them it is the same, one should approach with caution (ulchid introverts are difficult to notice for humans as they will seem wildly extroverted to our standards) however the psychosomatic effects of loneliness and ostracism on ulchid are not to be underestimated. “Death by loneliness” is a real, tangible problem in the species and a situation that should be watched for.

Trombil

• First and foremost, I do not care what your ethics say about it. You do not have an argument in front of the children. Period. The usage of bionics on young is a sticking point for many caretakers, but no matter what you are not helping the children by blowing up on their parents on the door of the daycare in front of time. What is done is done, the priority is the wellbeing of your wards! If you must, take your argumentation to a separate place where it will not upset the youngsters who can’t even understand what is going on.
• Do not accept taking care of trombil eggs. Trombil eggs are incredibly fragile and require specialized equipment for proper care, you are not prepared for this kind of work and the dangers of handling such fragile beings are not acceptable. Should there be any unusual circumstances requiring the care of an egg please get in contact with the medical ward or the administration.
• Similarly to the ulchid, ensure a presence of an aquatic environment for any trombil under your care. Though not as water-dependant the earliest life stages of the trombil suffer from reduced mobility due to the excess weight of their shells as they are not born fully capable of holding their own weight and aquatic exercise is necessary for them to properly develop.
• Trombil babies are fully capable of digesting both meat and vegetables, not being mammals, but those must be properly prepared. Remember that those must be cut into the smallest possible portions and fed slowly, it is not until their third year that their capacity to cut into things is developed.
• Those who are just starting to walk should be kept under watch at all times, it takes approximately six months between learning to walk and being capable of righting themselves should they fall on their back. However, the experience is important to them to learn how to right themselves, so it is recommended to let them continue to attempt until they are starting to become upset.
• Trombil bioluminescence is not simply pretty, it is an important form of communication used from an early age. While the colors do not become stable and easily readable until they are teenagers a few standards are to be observed: Warmer colors such as reds and oranges indicate fear and distress, trombil babies will generally shift to warmer colors instead of crying, generally only beginning to cry if left without attention for a long time. Cooler colors indicate excitement and energy, but can also indicate overstimulation that can be painful and distressing. PS: This is children, when they become adults they have almost full control over their bioluminescence. Applying those standards to adults is equivalent of making babytalk to grown men.
• Do not panic if you notice their shells bending slightly, they are more flexible than they appear at first glance, however be on the lookout for not just cracks but possible bends in the plates that do not right themselves within a minute as those indicate possible wounds. Remember that their shells are effectively their skin, unlike krev scales there is no skin underneath, so any damage is to be treated with caution.
• You will invariably get to care for children with cybernetics, children augmentations are generally training models that are more resilient than their natural body parts while being incapable of creating more force than the natural equivalents, they are also made to be simple to repair in case of damage. In those situations the parent are expected to furnish you with repair kits alongside the other materials every child has to bring along, those kits are easy enough to use in case of an emergency, but remember you do not have the skillset for anything other than the equivalent of first-aid.
• It is perfectly safe for children with augmentations to play with others, child cybernetics are specifically designed to have similar capacities to their organic counterparts as children aren’t capable of regulating themselves yet.
• Childcare services are not under my purview as they’re not officially medical but if I hear even one more of you out there even tried to shame a child because of body parts they had no choice in having or not I do not care about regulations I will teach you those flesh and blood hands of mine are still very fucking dangerous. Even my professionalism has a limit. Those are kids. Keep your bullshit to yourself.
• There is a large number of Evinites (body-purist trombil who prefer not to have modifications) who have come to reside and work on Tellus. Should you have the child of any of them in your care be on the lookout for cases of bullying from other trombil children. Children learn from their parents, and unfortunately not all parents have good lessons to teach as I’m sure quite a few of you are aware. Please do your best to foster an environment of acceptance among the children. PS: I said acceptance, trying to turn the bullying in the other direction is not acceptance, it’s just being an asshole to someone else. See the previous bullet point.
• You may have trombil children with braces marked with blue and red and the following symbol [a tri-point star-like symbol]. Those are training braces utilized to prepare for augmentations later in life, it is perfectly safe to remove them as they are not of medical need. Remember that they are clearly marked for a reason, if they do not have the training brace marks they are a medical requirement.

Jaslip

• Remember that those are arctic people, and that Tellus’ desertic climate is already a challenge for them. When housing jaslip children ensure that the ambient temperature is at maximum at 18C, in the unlikely chance you are handling only jaslip kits -10C is preferable but in a mixed environment 14C is the best average for all needs.
• Jaslip kits have a preference for small spaces and crawling under things as well as being naturally adept at disguising and hiding themselves. Sure, it might be really cute watching the kit thinking they can hide behind the transparent curtains, but when you can’t find them anywhere when the parents come to pick them up or you find that they got themselves under some furniture they cannot get out from under it is distressing.
• Jaslip have a keen sense of smell, multiple times more powerful than ours, and in turn respond much more strongly to those. Environments for jaslip must be kept a little bit more clean, ensuring that the kitchens are kept with their organics bins always empty and caretakers should utilize only mild perfumes. Though the required cooler temperatures makes it easier, remember that our sweat is also considerably strong in its smell for them and prepare accordingly. PS: We are lucky it has happened with the parent and not the child but please, please do not under any circumstance utilize the stuff Rebecca’s been improvising back when we were in the caves. The sneezes continued until he required a visit to the hospital.
• Though not any more likely to get in trouble than any other group of children, krev are wont to use their tail spray when annoyed and should this situation involve a jaslip take action as soon as possible with neutralizer, failing that any citric odoriferous compound available and if that is also not available thorough washing of the sprayed area. Though not damaging, the intensity of the smell is sufficient to be blinding, especially to a kit.
• You can, and in fact are encouraged to, give them chewtoys. Their maws are a big portion of how they interact with the world and particularly during early teething their teeth are very discomfortable. No, this is not treating them like animals, we all used pacifiers when we were babies and if you look at the pens on your desk you are likely to find enough bite marks on them, let’s not forget chewing gum either. Make sure to have age-appropriate toys and make sure they are thoroughly washed with neutral soap after a kit is finished with it. PS: Yes, the kit chewtoys are also very good for adult humans. Do avoid the flavorful ones, they might well enjoy their sweets but their carnivore palate makes every flavor option a russian roulette game.
• An adult jaslip’s tails are very dextrous limbs capable of grasping and fine motor control, much like our hands. Much like our babies’ hands, a kit’s tails are uncoordinated messes. They can and will get smacked into objects, stuck in furniture and even tie themselves into blind knots. Though usually the most you need to deal with is a slight bruise or a panicked kit, should they manage to truly tangle their tails first ensure that the kit is sufficiently calm and relaxed before you attempt to disentangle as they will stop tensing them. Humming, holding and other assurances are as effective to them as they are to us.
• Jaslip kits (jaslip in general) are incredibly cuddly due to their natural habit of seeking communal warmth, particularly when sleeping. If you notice kits being very insistent on being near, consistently following you and being whiny they are most likely feeling sleepy and, as kids are wont to do, refusing to sleep. Simply laying down will usually prompt every sleepy kit to gather on you to nap, however, making them considerably easier to convince to bed than our own children. They will also seek other children to cuddle with to nap, particularly ulchid children are very receptive to this arrangement but ensure that they are properly dry if you can catch them in time.
• Grooming and brushing time is important for the kits, it is how their parents show affection and helps with bonding. Usually in a daycare it should not be required, however, some parents have asked our workers, particularly those of the night shift, to groom the kits. It should be noted this is, particularly, social grooming- It is a social activity not unlike any other form of playtime and not a matter of cleanliness. Therefore, usage of bare hands is preferable, but soft brushes are also acceptable.
• We all like sharing treats with the children from time to time, however, it has come to the attention of the medical ward that some jaslip kits have convinced their caretakers that the sweet-tasting slushie known as ‘kelai’ is an appropriate treat. I would like to remind all caretakers that kelai is a powerful energetic that, while not immediately harmful to children in small doses, is roughly equivalent to five times its volume in coffee. It has all the expected effects of such as well. One should not give those to children below seven, between seven and twelve (or older than eleven for krev) kelai with concentration of active components no more than 10mg once a day at maximum, and thirteen and above no more than 13mg. Whose those thresholds ensure the children’s health, also ask yourself: Do you truly want kids hopped up on super coffee?
• Jaslip use their tails to hold their kits, particularly the younger ones, same way as we carry them in our arms. The lack of that particular touch can make some kits refuse to sleep and be incapable of relaxing in the long term, therefore, a way to help simulate it is wrap them completely in soft blankets and hold them in your arms. It will often be enough to lull fussy kits of single-digit age to sleep and the attempt will generally be enough to win the trust of older ones.
• Jaslip are deep sleepers, even the young ones, so if they do not awaken with ease when required simply be more insistent. Their famous hibernation habit is weather-related, not time-related, and it only starts to trigger when the local temperature is below -40C. They are, probably, just pretending to be asleep. PS: As I’ve said, it is temperature related. The one incident in which we had jaslip kits in deep sleep state involved a badly installed AC unit that managed to freeze the entire building to -80C making it effectively unlivable for any other species. The parties involved had been properly punished.
• Whenever you are picking up or returning jaslip kits, it has become regrettably necessary to remain on guard for other parents, particularly should you realize the jaslip parents have the fur pattern attached in the following image. Though we should avoid joining any possible situation that develops, certain aspects of Consortium society might cause fights between parents to occur at times, during those times it is suggested to keep the kids away from the developing situation and do not get involved until it has resolved. Should it escalate please attempt to, first, call the human law enforcement.

Smigli

• I must begin this one with a warning: If you are going to work on daycare, you must be willing to accept all species. Our kind lies on the verge of extinction because some assholes weren’t willing to accept us, we are not going to do the same others. There has only been three incidents but that is three too many, all three of which have been fired.
• The smigli are beyond even being omnivores, being quite capable of consuming virtually anything, however that capacity only develops with time and smigli youths are considerably more sensitive to nutrient intake. It is recommended to have the specific food pellets for their age range available, however, should that prove to be unfeasible at the moment any food for any species within the same age range is acceptable. PS: The adults will be more than willing to entertain you with eating all manner of strange stuff. Do not endanger the children’s health just because it is “cute”! Particularly when it involves any particularly large object! Those kids are still small!
• Humans and smigli are remarkably similar in their skin for multiple reasons, despite not being the same. One such similarity is the fragility of our skin, in fact they are even more fragile than we are and are very prone to cuts and scrapes, the smigli under your care will inevitably find themselves with small wounds. However, their protective coating is considerably good at preventing infection and bleeding, there is no need to panic at any small wounds. However, please utilize smigli-specific medicine for treating them, items such as bandages, medical gel and disinfectants may not behave as expected in contact with their protective coating.
• Yes, they are somewhat slimy. That is a necessary protective coating they cannot do without, they are clean. This coating might be viscous but it does not stick to fur nor does it stick to most surfaces- Unfortunately, it will stick to some kinds of fabric. Attached is a list of fabric that is unsafe around smigli, thankfully a short list.
• When cleaning a smigli make sure to use specialized cleaning towels made specifically for the care of their young and do so with caution and a gentle touch when cleaning their skin as it is fragile without its layers of viscous protection. The properly made smigli towels will quickly replace their protective layer, attached to this is a list of good brands available for quick delivery. Linked, as well, is a recipe for an old and tried homemade cleaning towel and protective dip should you somehow find yourself with no access to proper towels.
• Smigli are not particularly physically active people, even as children. If the smigli under your care show lessened interest in physical play, preferring instead creative endeavors such as drawing and reading do not apply to them the human standards. You will not have the skillset to gauge what is a healthy amount of exercise to them, please be sure to confer with the parents should you find any behaviour worrisome, they will appreciate the care. Additionally, there are links in this file on verified studies for those willing to take a step further on the particularities of smigli needs.
• Mud is to the smigli as fabric is to us, it is a necessary protection to their skin. No, they can’t just wear clothes, the porous and humid nature of mud is a necessity for their natural processes. You will need to clean it off during bath but they will need to be re-coated later, as well as you will need to be a bit more attentive with cleaning of the environment.
• This ‘dirty’ mud is a necessity for them, in fact it is not considered dirty at all. And you were all children one day I am certain none of you complained about mud back then either. It is acceptable for the floors to be cleaned only during closing time when housing smigli, plus the mud they utilize is easy to clean once it has dried off.
• When we speak of mud we do not speak if any mud, smigli children are more fragile and sensitive than adults and both the soil and water utilized needs to be not just clean but also carefully controlled for their good health. Attached is a list of both good options and cheap options for mud coats for varying ages, it is preferable to use the pre-mixed coats in most circumstances but the soil mixes are cheaper and, in some circumstances involving health, preferable.
• Smigli manipulators are sufficiently good and dextrous for every task, but they are also the second clumsiest manipulators of the Consortium, losing only to jaslip forepaws. As such, do not be alarmed if the smigli under your care take longer to master them than we take to master our own hands, that is expected development speed.

This list contains only things which have become egregious enough to require public announcement, there are many more things to keep in mind of course and for those there are further articles on childcare of every species attached to this announcement.
As a final word, I remind you of the most important practice for a caretake: Listen to the children and believe them when they are worried. Your focus is their wellbeing and if you must make a mistake, let it be the mistake of taking them too seriously over the mistake of ignoring them. Your first task is to see to their wellbeing, and remember: They are the ones who will live in the future we build, let’s make sure both them and that future are good.
Good ol' mention to u/MrMopp8, who dared me to do this one.
Amusingly I wrote this because I was having a hard time having the brains to actually write my fic, and then I got subsumed at like midnight and did like a 3000 words in an hour. Hopefully it is entertaining.

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Hello everyone, this will be a long one. First, I wanted to discuss Pantheon's thematic concept and thematic playstyle. Both of these terms are subjective. Then, I wanted to analyze his current state and kit to get a better understanding and highlight his strengths and weaknesses. Then I made some small, large, and redesigning suggestions for the champion. This document is about 13 pages single space. I hope you enjoy.
Thematic Concept Thematic concept refers to his out of game concept, clearly being a mix of a spartan warrior and partially a vessel of a god of war. What stands out in the character is the combination of spear and shield. As a vessel of the god of war, there is an expectation that his fighting is flexible to be both offensive and defensive as well as dueling and large combat prowess. This works well with the spear and shield combat as both Spartans and gladiators often used this combination of weapons. Spartans could create a protective front line and pierce enemies from behind the shield wall. In formation, they could use their shields to push enemies back and stab when opponents were knocked off balance. Gladiators with spears and shields are very defensive and it only takes a few pokes and some endurance to whittle away at your opponent until you go in for the kill (or they surrender). As a vessel of a god of war, we want to embody these two characters as well as being a durable fighter. He should be bulky, someone on the front line who's not afraid to get into the thick of it while maintain this offensive and defensive balance.
Thematic Playstyle The thematic playstyle should flow from the thematic concept. These two concepts should match to the best of their abilities. Obviously the game has to have some balance and a space dragon and guy with a shotgun should be able fight on a more or less even playing field. Pantheon currently has two distinct playstyles: fighter, and glass cannon.
If above the curve, his glass cannon builds can 100-0 most isolated squishy targets, and if not can leave them very low on health (or kill them if they are below 100%). Usually the playstyle looked like this: ult onto target or surprise from a bush or flank >> empowered w (+3 quick autos) >> q >> auto >> e >> empowered q. There's not a lot of mechanical skill in this playstyle, the skill comes from your ability to set up the kills (map awareness, timing, understanding current vision control, know when to push and then duck into cover). The main reason I didn't call this an assassin build is because assassins are usually defined by their slipperiness. Assassins are meant to get a kill and then slip out. However, they usually can slip out of ganks easily with their dashes or other mobility spells. Pantheon is meant to be a frontline/diver in his thematic concept and playstyle and so he doesn't have this ability to slip out of a gank (unless you want to use your 3 (down to 2:30 minute ultimate cooldown which can easily be cancelled if the enemy is in range). Pantheon does have his empowered e, which does help him escape these ganks if near a turret (or allies), but with it's long cd as well being the only defensive tool, pantheon becomes a sitting duck if ganked in a long lane (particularly in the mid/late game). What this playstyle means a lot of the time is that you're clearing waves and clearing waves, running away at the sight of an opponent (even if it's just one), then clearing some more waves, and then try to find a good ult when objectives are spawning. This glass cannon build plays super scared, does not want to be in a fight, but can often be more successful since getting a pick in the early/middle game puts the enemy carries behind; and getting picks in the middle/late game leads to objective control as well as top laners being less valuable than carries. Let's also be clear that if you cannot get a kill on a carry (usually because the support protects them), then you will die 95% of the time with no recompense. There is a thematic mismatch between this playstyle and his concept. It's not a mechanical playstyle, since you're just landing all of your abilities while a target is stunned for half of the time and running away; it's not a tactical playstyle, because you're not baiting out abilities, spacing the opponent, or waiting for your cd's; but it is strategic in the general sense that you have to be a strong macro player to play pantheon well, however I would argue that this is not part of Pantheon's thematic concept (although in general I don't think many champions fall under a "strategic" concept, with maybe the exception of Swain and Teemo). More importantly, with his glass cannon build, there is no balance between spear and shield (offense and defense), it's all spear. There's no front line soldier who gets into the thick of it, only a coward that runs away. There's no culmination of small victories (winning small trades) until your opponent dies or has to surrender, it's just a one-shot from a surprise angle. I like Pantheon's glass cannon build solely because I win more with this build.
Pantheon's fighter build is closer to matching his thematic concept. His trading patterns are a longer, he can last longer in combat, and he is threatening enough that he can dissuade kills. His major strengths come from his point-and-click stun which counters pretty much all assassins in team fights as well as gets picks for your allies. Pantheon's kit is indeed strong and so his bruiser build functions well on low economy. All he really needs is a black cleaver and another defensive fighter item (DD or Maw depending on matchup, which you end up getting first) and he's off to the races (this is Keegun's - NA challenger pantheon main - current build suggestion for pantheon). It's almost always better to gives your teammates the gold in team fights because they are more gold efficient than Pantheon. Similarly, it's also better to give your jungler the kill when they gank your lane (top lane) because they can use the gold and affect the map better. This is also partially how jungle and support Pantheon function, they become a stun bot so that their teammates can collect the goal. Pantheon's fighter build still suffers from similar issues as his glass cannon build where he can be run down in the long lane. If even, most (if not all) duelists and tanks will win the 1v1 at 3 items+ if both Pantheon and his opponent are at 100% hp. In many cases where Pantheon goes even in the trade, Pantheon will find his enemy life stealing against the wave. Even if Pantheon went a life steal build, he will find himself running out of mana quickly and so it is better to give his opponent the push, which impairs his ability to move to a team fight, ultimately taking away one of his major strengths. Regarding the flow from thematic concept to thematic playstyle, Pantheon's bruiser build gets closer to mending the two with his ability to be in the thick of a fight for a little bit, but even this aspect doesn't stand out amongst the other bruisers in the game; he becomes as tanky as camille or fiora, but without their late game upside. He doesn't balance offense and defense; or spear and shield; burst and endurance. With this build, he's not a vessel of the god of war, he's a sidekick who helps feed his teammates.
Pantheon's Current State Pantheon's glass cannon build seems to be his best performing build, but this is partially because this build becomes more effective when he's played mid lane. As mentioned earlier, he can one-shot squishy targets with this build and so it makes sense that playing in a lane that typical plays squishy champions (mages, assassins) pantheon is able to excel. Riot Phreak said in his recent patch notes rundown video that they have to be careful when buffing Pantheon because his win rate is strong in the mid lane, which comes from the common matchups that he plays against. Based on the previous section, it's likely that the best changes for Pantheon would be to diminish his strength as a glass cannon. I'm going to largely talk about top lane (I'm most familiar with this role for Pantheon) because this is where the fighter class general thrives, but also because his role in other positions is more one-dimensional (as explained in the glass-cannon section).
Early Game/Lane Phase
In top lane and mid lane, pantheon's lane phase is largely similar. Usually the difference between playstyle is based less on lane and more on the range of the opponent. Pantheon has clear mana problems (I will get into this in my section on each of his abilities). In lane, he can usually use his full kit twice (essentially 2 e's, 3 w's before fully oom, not including q's). Other than his e, which drains him of mana, he has no defensive mechanics in his kit. He technically has his w to stun someone and walk away, but this doesn't negate damage nor does it sustain him - it also drains him of mana. So Pantheon relies on his Q in lane to poke to a point where his full combo is enough to get the enemy low. This is a strong strategy early game, but if you don't get his poke off, the enemy can easily all-in you from levels 3-5. So usually Pantheon succeeds on hard pushing the first wave to hit level 2 first - if the enemy doesn't respect the level 2, then they will lose the trade pretty hard. However, depending on the matchup, Pantheon can lose the level 1 and if the other player is aware of the matchup, then Pantheon is playing on the backfoot for a while. If the opponent respects the level 2, then they back up and usually nothing happens and you can get a cheater recall off (if perfect success, you have 450g which goes to boots + refillable). After first back, Pantheon excels at his poke trade patterns, and it's important that he is either freezing or crashing waves against his opponent. He's very good at not letting opponents freeze a wave assuming both Pantheon and his opponent are equal. However, if he's behind and frozen on, he will struggle greatly because he loses pretty much every all-in (from 100%) after level 3. As mentioned earlier, one of his strengths is to whittle the opponent down, but as long as they respect his range; Pantheon can't do much about it. This is where the jungler plays a crucial role for Pantheon top. Pantheon is great for setting up dives for most junglers and so he works very well with carry/damage oriented junglers. If Pantheon gets ahead, as long as his opponents don't give him a freeze and they respect Pantheon, Pantheon is very bad at pushing his lead in lane. If Pantheon keeps receiving help for the dives, it's likely his other lanes will start losing. This is why it's best for jungler teammates to gank early to get themselves ahead and transition their lead to winning the rest of the map. At this point, Pantheon's goals change to winning the lane through farm, not dying to ganks, and finding opportune moments to roam (particularly mid lane).
Mid Game
As the data suggests (I use lolalytics), Pantheon's win rate falls off a cliff in the mid game (and then comes back up a bit in the end game). The main reason, I believe, that Pantheon loses a lot of his win rate in the mid game is because he loses his poke-trade pattern. When tier-1 turrets fall, the lanes become longer and so enemies either give him the push, they all-in him in the long lane, or he gives them the push. Since his ultimate is 3 minutes long from levels 6-10 (and 2:30 from 11-15), he basically only has an ultimate once every 5 minutes for when dragon spawns. If Pantheon doesn't save his ultimate for objective spawn, he will find it very difficult to be effective in the team fight. It will require running to the fight early (or pushing strong, which means your mid laner (who is running tp) needs to cover weak side, which means you're fighting for position around the objective without your mid lane carry, which puts you at a disadvantage), and finding a good flank. Because he loses his poke trade pattern, he cannot 100-0 bruisers, he's often just farming up and waiting for fights. This is a fairly underwhelming trade pattern and can lead to Pantheon mains likely getting bored and starting unideal fights. Overall, his play pattern changes the most after the early game when the enemy opponent is not required to interact with Pantheon in a shorter lane.
Late Game
Late game has similar problems to early game, but his win rate stabilizes to 50% likely because of the confounding variable where a team that cannot beat Pantheon's team by 30 minutes, it could be because Pantheon's teammates are farther ahead and scale better. This is not to say Pantheon scales poorly. Pantheon's scaling is difficult to define. If Pantheon can stun or kill an enemy carry late game, his team will likely win the game. With Black cleaver and BotRK, Pantheon can also hold off most split pushers. However, he's not a win condition and is not great at applying pressure. He's good at taking one tower at a time if his team plays safe and enemy top laner doesn't have TP up, but since he cannot dive or all-in well, he cannot pressure an enemy in the 1v1.
Pantheon's Kit and Stats In this section, I will be looking at Pantheon's current kit to analyze the strengths and weaknesses. I will cover both their numbers, relative to other champions in his class as well as his former kit, and their concept. I will then discuss some of his base statistics. To save a bit of time reading, I will not be displaying the full text of each ability.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon's passive is likely the most problematic part about his kit. Conceptually, it's generic. Pantheon's current passive requires him to have 5 stacks, which can be stacked from either autos or abilities, which can then empower one of his basic abilities. Previously, pantheon needed 4 stacks, which would cause the next basic attack to be blocked. Additionally, Pantheon's old W (same ability more or less) would give him his passive immediately and keep the stack counter the same. This means at 3 stacks, Pantheon could W a target, that target's auto would be blocked, then pantheon would auto, and the target's next auto would be blocked again. The old passive gave him a unique defensive tool which matched his thematic concept with his thematic playstyle. It also gave him tactical depth because he could W an opponent before their empowered auto to negate the damage. His current passive does not give him the same tactical depth, and actually limits his depth because of how reliant he is on empowered W as part of his trade pattern. It does offer you the choice though if you would like to kill your opponent immediately with empowered Q or chase them down a bit if you need a few more autos with empowered E (or just run away). But even if you did believe that his passive adds some depth, it still has two other major issues. The first is that it encourages Pantheon to be more auto-based. None of his kit except this part encourages auto attacks, nor does thematic concept or playstyle revolve around an auto-based kit. He's a midrange ad spell casting fighter, akin to Jayce, but instead of a melee/range form he should have a offensive/defensive balance. The second major issue with his passive is that it frontloads too much of his power into his basic abilities, which creates balance issues.
Q - Comet Spear
This is Pantheon's bread and butter, but it still has problems. To start with empowered Q, this may be one of the most satisfying abilities, but it's just too strong. His regular Q deals about half damage. While his poke in lane is good, it's not as good as it used to be. Pantheon used to have a Q that dealt 75/115/155/195/235 (+140 bonus AD), with a 4s CD, point and click and is 600 range. Pantheon's current regular Q deals 70/100/130/160/190 (+115% bonus AD) with a 4.4-3.2s CD, aoe skill shot, and 560 range. Old Pantheon used to fall off heavily after level 9 because his old Q was so weak, and it's a similar story now. In lane, this is a great ability; however, base weak is just very weak in all-ins. The other frustrating thing about his Q is its thrown version. Since this ability is his bread and butter, if you use the thrown version, it becomes an 11-second CD rather than 4.4s. This means you basically have to back off after using thrown Q. Therefore, the only time you should be using it is when you've clearly won the fight and you're looking for chip-damage or you're trying to execute. In the first case, it's pretty meaningless because they'll just back at this point. In the second case, it's great! However my point is that thrown Q is a fake part of the spell, it does more harm than good when using it. It gets worse though, since if you try to use thrown Q through a minion wave, it gets reduced by 50% if thrown through a minion wave. It has its fringe uses, but I think it has room for improvement. In general, I think this is a great ability, but it must be remembered when looking at solutions for this champion.
W - Shield Vault
This is Pantheon's best ability, for the reasons listed above. A point-and-click stun is just strong. I think everything about this ability is fair; however, it may even be too strong, and changing the ability so that it's not point-and-click should be considered. The big issue with his W is it's empowered version. There are two problems and a big consideration with this ability. The first problem The first problem is that the three auto attacks are just so strong with on-hit. I considered BotRK to be Pantheon's best item by far last patch because the 3 auto's at 12% current health was the only thing winning him 1v1s. Similarly, Pantheon is able to stack conqueror, black cleaver, and PTA well with this combo. While this may sound like a benefit to him, it moves away from a preferred thematic concept. This leads into my second point, the three autos feel small with the quick animation and high pitch audio. They're three little stabs, and when you don't go BotRK, they really don't deal much damage. Thematically, this just feels bad, it feels like an ability that xin zhao, fiora, gwen, irelia, kat, shaco, or talon would have. When it comes to playstyle, there's no skill expression with this second part either, it's just the same W and since their stunned and your auto attack timer is up, it's basically just a free "combo". The consideration that needs to be made is how it stacks Pantheon's passive. While it did fully stack the old passive, his old passive was... passive, it wasn't part of his offensive trade pattern. Pantheon's current trade pattern almost always starts with empowered W because it becomes a free empowered Q (or E sometimes). His W being a passive stacking mechanic is what brings down the depth of his trade pattern.
E - Aegis Assault
Pantheon's E is pragmatically his most problematic ability. It's pragmatically problematic (rather than thematically) because the base ability is so strong (there's a theme here if you can't tell). Because it's so strong, the CD is super high, the damage is low, the empowered E got heavily nerfed a few seasons ago, and the mana cost is also high. To compare his current E to his old E: Current E has a CD from 22-18, costs 80 mana, and deals 55-255 (+150 bonus AD). Old E used to have a 10-6 CD, cost 45-65 mana, and dealt 100-300 (+300% bonus AD). Yes, you're reading that right. 300 + 300% bonus ad on a 6s CD with only 65 mana, which you would get at level 9 if maxed first. Talon R total physical damage (hits both parts) deals 360 (+200% bonus AD) at level 16. I'm not suggesting to return Pantheon's current E to similar damage, I am just trying to highlight how much damage was lost in Pantheon's kit. If I recall correctly, Pantheon was around 54% wr top consistently prior to being reworked; nowadays he sits below 50% as a "simple" champion (he's currently ranked 65/95 champions according to lolalytics over the last 30 days in emerald+). The two main issues with this ability are it's cooldown as well as its mana cost. Pantheon has 1 defensive ability and it feels like you only get to use this as a last resort. It feels like you don't get to play with the shield as a spear and shield guy. And when you do use it, you're severely punished mana-wise. Lastly, his empowered E just feels bad. Rarely do I use empowered E offensively, and it's much more likely that I use it to run away after. Although since the movement speed is small and only lasts 1.5s, you're likely to get caught afterwards in a long lane, which is why he has to play so scared in the long lane. However, even if you do escape, he's not (nor feels like) the champion that tanks in a fight and stays, he tanks a bit and runs away. Again, playing with a cowardly playstyle.
I want to compare his defensive ability to that of other champions in the same class. On top of Camille's mobility and healing, her passive shields every 14-10s (lvl 1-13). Fiora W costs 50 mana and CD is 24-16s. Gangplank W costs 60-100 mana (usually 60 since maxed last) and CD is 22-14. Riven E is manaless and the cd is 10-6s. Gwen W is 60 mana and CD is 22-18s. Irelia W is 70-90 mana and CD is 20-12s. Jax E is 50-90 mana and 15-9 CD. Olaf W is 50 mana and is 16-12 CD. Sett W is manaless and 18-12 cs. Volibear E is 60 mana and CD is 12s. Assuming Pantheon can even survive in the 1v1 after a full use of spells, all of these champions will have big defensive spells up like 4-8s sooner than Pantheon. During the early game, his ability is more mana hungry and his E loses in often 3 different ways compared to his fighting counterparts. What's most important though is that Pantheon's shield should be defining in his playstyle, but since you can't use it often, you feel like you're just the spear guy.
R - Grand Starfall
Pantheon's R has remained the same the most compared to all of his abilities through the rework. One thing to note is that his ult used to be 2:30-2:00 CD while his current ult is 3:00-2:30, which feels a bit bad. But all global abilities in League have been strong and so they need to be gated behind a long cooldown. I think this is more or less okay, and his ultimate does play into his thematic concept and playstyle well. I think his old ultimate had a bit more oomf to it but both of them are betteworse in minor ways. I think there is a way to reimagine this ability in a following section, but for now I think this is a great ability that needs to be changed the least. However, the 30% armor penetration that was added to his kit a few seasons ago is a band aid solution. In fact, it what makes his glass cannon build so much stronger because lethality becomes more gold effective on him.
Base Statistics
Mana - Pantheon has a starting mana of 317, which puts him the bottom 3rd of base starting mana as a spell-casting (rather than auto based) melee fighter (let's also remember that much of top lane are manaless champions). Pantheon is in the bottom 15% of champions for mana mana growth per level (31/lvl). In the list of champions with a worse growth coefficient are all mages; the next 3 are auto-based fringe top laners (ww, nocturne, quinn), while Poppy - a champion with 2 possible mana items that they are able to purchase in their class - is the next closest (40/lvl). Camille and Jax are the next comparable champions (52/lvl).
For Pantheon's other stats, he usually is in the realm of the fighter class (which has higher base stats on average) but is usually near the bottom in his class. However, it should be noted that his base health regen and health regen coefficient are both low for his class, and without any healing or cheap shielding in his kit, he will often get out endured in a lane where he doesn't have good opportunities to back. For a champion who's playstyle should be partially about sustained fighting, he is bad at it from a base statistics perspective.
Small Changes These are my band aid solutions. These are direction suggestions and the exact numbers shouldn't be taken literally. Also, since I'm including multiple suggestions, I know that adding all or even multiple of them will make Pantheon overpowered. These are just the directions I suggest the balance team should take.
Q: Have the base Q scale harder off of bonus AD (remember old Pantheon Q had +140%). Compensate by nerfing Q5 base damage by a bit or nerfing empowered Q base scaling.
Q: Either make thrown Q able to deal full damage through minions, or reduce cool down of thrown Q. If cool down is reduced, nerf tap Q cool down refund respectively.
W: Remove the effectiveness of the on-hit portion of his W.
E: Buff this ability overall. Reduce mana cost to something like 60-90. Reduce cooldown from 22-18 to 16-12; however, nerf W cool down to 16-12 in response. It would make sense that these two abilities are up at similar times (similar to alistar Q and W) so that there's more choice between spell usage.
E: This damage can be buffed. This ability basically deals 3 auto attacks worth of damage over a 1.5s duration.
R: Remove the armor pen.
Increase base mana, base mana regen, and base health regen.
Larger Changes These larger changes are more unrealistic.
Tap Q: Slows enemy by 5/10/15/20/25% for 1s. Serylda's grudge got massively nerfed for Pantheon because he can no longer go Black Cleaver + Serylda's, and also the slow was nerfed to below 50%. If a champion is below 50% while Pantheon is on them, they're basically dead (assuming he hasn't used his abilities yet). A slow on his Q, while incredibly strong - and should perhaps be tuned by champion level rather than skill rank - gives him the ability to space opponents and play that endurance fight more effectively. He keeps them at bay slowing them and so they can't chase him down as easily in the long lane.
E: Do the E small changes (regarding mana and CD) but also make the channel a smaller window. A 0.75-1s channel window makes the ability more skillful and allows room for buffs.
Empowered E: Refund cool down on E. Something like 50% allows his 22s cd to come back up in 11s can be big as a defensive option.
Redesigning Pantheon To reiterate, here's what I would want from Pantheon's kit: balance of offensive and defensive, spell-based mid range melee fighter (mid range similar to ryze, cass), mostly endurance fighter but some opportunity for burst, and someone who can be a front line or duelist. With this in mind, we need to set up some weaknesses. He can't be a burst champion, he has too many tools that we need to give his enemies time to outplay him. Since he's mid range, he will be weak to champions that out-range him. With this combination, it should be hard for him to jump on an enemy, but if he does, there should be time for them to react. This means he will be weak to mages and supports which should shift him out of mid lane and support.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon generates a stack of Mortal Will whenever he lands an ability on an enemy champion or large monster, stacking up to 3 times. At 3 stacks, Pantheon's next basic ability consumes the stacks to become empowered. Pantheon gains maximum stacks of Mortal Will upon starting the game, completing a Recall channel, and respawning.
Note - The purpose of changing this ability to 3 stacks means that he has to be more skillful with his abilities. He can't just rely on autoing minions or Q-ing the air to get himself to full stacks. This will also nudge him away from being an auto-based champion. With 3 stacks it will will take longer to get multiple passive procs, but this allows for the passive to be strong. If you can extend the fight, Pantheon will shine.
Q - Comet Spear
Cost: 45 (20 mana nerf) Cooldown: 5/4.5/4/3.5/3 Range: -40 - 560 / 1100 Cast time, width, speed: same. For the rest of the ability, I would keep the text and numbers largely the same. Added: Tapping Comet Spear refunds 55% of the mana cost (~25 mana total). Comet Spear impales his target causing them to bleed for 3s and take 5/10/15/20/25 (+ 25% bonus AD) total physical damage over the duration. Empowered Q will cause the bleed to deal double damage.
Note - This needs to be his major damage source. As mentioned above, tap Q has a 4.4-3.2s CD with 0 ability haste, so this would technically be a minor nerf early game, however this gives him his thrown ability back. Thrown Q is harder to hit because you need to channel the ability for 0.55s to throw as well as the speed, while fast, is slower than an instant tap Q. It will still take reduced damage through the minions which means that it shouldn't be great for harassing range opponents, but it will give him some ability to play into the matchup after his loss of engage and burst (as you will see). To also mitigate this buff to thrown Q, the mana cost is nerfed to old Pantheon's Q cost, however the mana is refunded if used for tap Q. The bleed damage backloads the damage a bit which gives time for enemies to react. The bleed does not stack, but does get refreshed upon further Comet Spear hits. Bleed should be added to Pantheon's kit because it brings out the endurance side of his thematic playstyle. Bleed will keep conqueror, grasp, black cleaver and other similar effects up which highlights that he's still in the fight. Additionally, this damage will mitigate the damage that is lost from being an auto-based champion, as well as mitigate effects from passive/active health regen and items/runes such as doran's shield and second wind (old Pantheon had this problem where he lost every matchup into players who took doran's shield + second wind). The empowered Comet Spear getting double bleed damage is to mirror that this ability practically does double damage. Lastly, the numbers for the bleed were chosen to mimic Darius' Hemorrhage (passive) which does 13-30 (based on level) (+30% bonus AD), but stacks up to 5 times. 3 seconds was chosen as a timeframe for the bleed for Pantheon because he can make full use of it early game, but once it's rank 5 and with ability haste, he won't be benefitting from a spam Q playstyle and will be slightly rewarded for playing it slower. Lastly, the bleed damage can be used to balance his Jungle clear since he won't be getting his passive up as easily without the auto-based passive.
W - Shield Bash (New Spell)
Active: Pantheon bashes his shield in front of him. Enemies near Pantheon are also stunned for 0.5s and knocked back up to 300 units based on their proximity to him. Damage is the same as what's on PBE right now (5-7% max HP + ap scaling). Effect Radius: 300 Cast time: 0.35s Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 (1s nerf). Empowered W will be the current Shield Vault. The damage will be the same, but it will be a skill shot similar to Malphite ultimate, although smaller radius, slower travel speed, stuns rather than knocks up, and Pantheon will have a 0.25s animation lock upon landing.
Note - Shield bash is pretty much a copy of Maokai's inner Bramble Smash (Q) which knocks back enemies. It doesn't have the extended range, slow or damage though. The point of this ability on Pantheon is that it gives him a defensive tool that gets melee champions off of him, which helps his midrange play style. The reliable stun which comes up every 6 seconds in the mid/late game going away takes away his current identity of being a stun-bot. Additionally, he takes away his burst and dive potential since it's harder for him to get onto targets. He will have to either use empowered W to get onto target or his ultimate. Shield Bash also gives more out play potential because you can time melee champs out of their attack (if you're familiar with Maokai, you know how strong this can be). Ultimately, this makes Pantheon become a disengage-poke champion which plays into that midrange thematic playstyle. As for the empowered W, this will give him the flexibility to engage, and with it being an AOE spell, it allows him to be a strong team fighter. However, because it's a skill shot rather than point-and-click, it gives his opponents potential to outplay. Often carries would flash Pantheon's Shield Vault but would still get hit by the stun which is unfair to them. The purpose of the 0.25s animation lock after casting gives him the heavier and slower rolling feel that you get in dark souls games but also it's meant to be clearly weaker than Malphite ultimate. Also this ability helps Pantheon run away from enemies which is important for a side laner, but also the animation lock gives them a little room to hit a skill shot on you. Also, if you are using this ability to run away, you will find that your passive is down and since you have to hit enemy champions (or large jungle monsters), you will often find yourself at a disadvantage for the next find or if they try to pursue you.
E - Aegis Assault
Cost: 50/60/70/80/90 Cool down: 22/20/18/16/14 Duration: 1s Effect radius, angle, and everything else is the same. Due to less duration, Aegis Assault deals damage 8 times (every 0.125s to enemies hit). Empowered E inflicts armor reduction for 5% each time an enemy takes damage from Aegis Assault up to 40% armor reduction for 5 seconds.
Note - The cost is lowered early so you're not as heavily punished for using it. The cool down remains the same early to be in line with other early game defensive abilities. However, as a spear and shield champion, he should have this ability up more often in the mid and late game. Because of this, the duration should go down and mana up slightly to compensate. The damage is being nerfed slightly also since it doesn't last 1.5s. The empowered E getting armor reduction helps his team fighting prowess and will likely only give him the armor reduction against front liners. This greatly takes away his power to burst squishy targets and also means that he won't be using his empowered W to stun opponents (carries). Here there are significant trade offs to using his abilities for offensive vs defense in a more satisfying way. Additionally, if enemies don't take the full channel of armor shred, they're not getting their armor reduced which should be slightly weaker against mobile enemies in the 1v1 but stronger against tanks.
R - Grand Starfall
Remove the armor penetration from ultimate rank up. New passive: Hitting an enemy with an ability slows affected units by 10/20/30% for 1s.
Note - The slow will give him his true duelist potential in the mid/late parts of the game because it allows him to space appropriately against the mobility creep. Without Serylda's Grude Pantheon doesn't have the ability to stick on targets well over a duration of time which is partially why he needed to be burst-oriented. The slow should alleviate this issue and allow his mid-range thematic playstyle to shine. It's important to note that this only works on abilities that hit enemies and therefore doesn't work on the bleed that was added to his kit. Taking away the armor penetration also goes away from his glass-cannon build.
Conclusion Pantheon's current kit misses the mark for what should be his thematic concept and thematic playstyle. He should be a warrior that can go into battle or a duel with a balance of offense and defense, outplay his opponent through a fight of attrition while having his moments for heavy damage. He should not be a pseudo-assassin who can't 1v1 in the side lane and is scared to walk up. I have highlighted his issues above which come from being mana hungry while also being too auto-dependent when he should be ability dependent. The "Small Changes" section shows reasonable band-aid fixes to his kit. The "Larger Changes" section are some fixes that drastically change a few of his abilities but are what's needed to make his playstyle feel better. The "Redesigning Pantheon" is how I would go about reimagining this champion to fit the thematic playstyle and concept that he deserves. It is largely a rework, and the numbers are not exact, but this gives a lot of complexity to a champion that currently plays more generically than he seems.
This took me a long time to write and I'm happy to hear all questions and comments about any part of this document or Pantheon in general. Pantheon is my highest mastery champion (however I'm far from a one-trick) and I've hit Masters in multiple roles if that's something that's important to the discussion. Thank you for reading.