How far back to emloyers check on duis on background check
Athena, Goddess of…. chess?
2024.05.19 07:15 This_Jacket9570 Athena, Goddess of…. chess?
Hello all! I’m writing this post for a little insight (read: reassurance) regarding the Goddess, Athena.
I have recently been getting really into chess, and after my night of drinking and partying with friends (a regular occurrence thanks to my deep love for the God, Dionysus) a random thought occurred to me. Is there a God or Goddess of chess? A little research lead me to Caïssa, but it didn’t quite click for me.
But then I thought about what makes chess such an addictive game. The strategy, intense action, and wisdom required to become a master. Some even go so far to describe chess as a battle or war of wits.
The Goddess, Athena, is regarded as Goddess of war, intelligence and strategy. Would it then follow that she could appropriately be regarded as Goddess of Chess. Or, at the very least, could she lend her skills in these areas toward the game of chess? I’m curious to hear how others feel about this, or if you think my reasoning checks out.
Athena is not a God I frequently work with, or even really acknowledge if I’m being honest. In fact, despite my love for a few other Gods, Dionysus is the only one I have ever truly reached out to.
Should I attempt to reach out to Athena in one way or another to get an idea of how she feels regarding this association I’ve come up with in a drunken haze? I plan on meditating on this thought tomorrow, assuming I’m not wildly hungover.
Note: I wrote this post a few hours after getting home from my night out. I can usually still type out my thought fairly well even after a few too many drinks, but if it seems like I’m rambling or not making sense I blame the wine.
submitted by This_Jacket9570 to pagan [link] [comments]
I have recently been getting really into chess, and after my night of drinking and partying with friends (a regular occurrence thanks to my deep love for the God, Dionysus) a random thought occurred to me. Is there a God or Goddess of chess? A little research lead me to Caïssa, but it didn’t quite click for me.
But then I thought about what makes chess such an addictive game. The strategy, intense action, and wisdom required to become a master. Some even go so far to describe chess as a battle or war of wits.
The Goddess, Athena, is regarded as Goddess of war, intelligence and strategy. Would it then follow that she could appropriately be regarded as Goddess of Chess. Or, at the very least, could she lend her skills in these areas toward the game of chess? I’m curious to hear how others feel about this, or if you think my reasoning checks out.
Athena is not a God I frequently work with, or even really acknowledge if I’m being honest. In fact, despite my love for a few other Gods, Dionysus is the only one I have ever truly reached out to.
Should I attempt to reach out to Athena in one way or another to get an idea of how she feels regarding this association I’ve come up with in a drunken haze? I plan on meditating on this thought tomorrow, assuming I’m not wildly hungover.
Note: I wrote this post a few hours after getting home from my night out. I can usually still type out my thought fairly well even after a few too many drinks, but if it seems like I’m rambling or not making sense I blame the wine.
2024.05.19 07:13 GuiltlessMaple Best Canvas Hunting Jackets
 | submitted by GuiltlessMaple to u/GuiltlessMaple [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/rl5lsgl0hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe77cc85e8b1757c665d1142e7e0524dc793971f Looking for the perfect canvas hunting jacket to enhance your outdoor experiences? Our guide will help you find the perfect one. Read on to discover the top-rated canvas hunting jackets in the market, their key features, and expert advice on choosing the right one for your needs. Whether you're a seasoned hunter or just starting out, this article is your go-to resource for all things canvas hunting jackets! Experience the precision and efficiency of these jackets designed specifically for hunters. Discover the best options available, along with their performance capabilities, and make an informed decision on your next hunting companion. Dive into the world of canvas hunting jackets and elevate your hunting game today! The Top 12 Best Canvas Hunting Jackets
Reviews🔗Realtree Camo Hunting Jacket for Menhttps://preview.redd.it/49pj5ly0hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db008c7925fea01040e994781a22d40a3a665222 Lately, I've been getting outdoors more often and needed a durable, warm, and stylish jacket to keep me comfy while I'm exploring. Lucky for me, I stumbled upon the Realtree Camo Canvas Work Hunting Jacket for Men! This jacket is made with 12oz Cotton Canvas and features a cozy quilt lining, which has kept me toasty even on the chilliest of days. One thing I absolutely love about this jacket is the front pouch pockets - they are so practical for keeping my hands warm and my essentials close at hand. Plus, the Real Tree Xtra camo pattern adds an cool, outdoorsy vibe to any outfit. And, of course, as a faithful Atlanta Falcons fan, I'm thrilled to see my team's logo embroidered on the jacket's exterior. However, there's one minor issue I've noticed: the hood isn't particularly snug or form-fitting, which can be a bit of a hassle if you're wearing a hat while trying to stay warm. But overall, I would highly recommend this jacket for anyone who loves spending time outdoors, needs a reliable and stylish hunting companion, or simply supports their favorite NFL team! 🔗Durable and Stylish Sportman's Field Coat for Menhttps://preview.redd.it/0lilmef1hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd41bfd221434e445a348a69dd9eae46537e4e89 I recently got the chance to try out the Avery Heritage Sportman's Field Coat, and I must say, it's a stylish and functional piece of outerwear that I'm absolutely loving! The moment I put it on, I was surprised by how comfortable the coral fleece lining in the body and sleeves felt. It's like wearing a warm hug! One thing I appreciated about the coat was the zippered and magnetic chest pockets. They're incredibly convenient for holding my essentials, like my phone and wallet. Plus, the two large front bellow pockets provide ample storage for bigger items. Another feature worth mentioning is the antique brass hardware. Not only does it add a touch of sophistication to the coat, but it also ensures durability and long-lasting use. The adjustable cuffs are another added bonus, allowing me to customize the fit and feel of the coat for maximum comfort. Overall, the Avery Heritage Sportman's Field Coat is a fantastic choice for anyone looking for both style and functionality in their outerwear. While the coat might be a bit of an investment, its high-quality materials and features make it well worth the price tag. 🔗Military Style Canvas Jacket for Menhttps://preview.redd.it/n7n10zm1hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad6c3000096ab8ceeeef31809171b0561407f7d2 I remember the first time I wore my WenVen Men's Military Jacket, a crisp autumn day when the wind had a bit of a bite. As soon as I zipped up, I felt an instant warmth and comfort that can only be described as a hug from a good friend. The adjustable cuffs and high-quality zipper kept the chill at bay while still allowing easy movement. One thing that sets this jacket apart is its unique stitching and stylish pocket placements. Not only do they provide a modern and fashionable look, but they also serve their purpose by keeping my small essentials within reach. Plus, the addition of a soft lining and interior pocket makes it feel cozy and secure. However, it's worth noting that the WenVen Men's Military Jacket is not as heavy or insulated as some may prefer for colder temperatures. Additionally, I noticed that after a few washes, the canvas started to lose its stiffness, which might be a concern for those looking for a more durable option. In conclusion, the WenVen Men's Military Jacket is an excellent choice for those who value style, comfort, and practicality. Its high-quality materials and features make it a reliable and versatile addition to any wardrobe. Just remember to keep in mind that it might not be the best option for extreme weather conditions. 🔗Lonestar Waxed Canvas Shirt Jacket for durability and comforthttps://preview.redd.it/tpnodq22hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25bbd7a00e01e5c1c1d646b2e18a905a67de2540 I've been wearing the "Legendary Whitetails Lonestar Shirt Jacket" for a while now and I must say, this piece is quite a statement. The poly/cotton construction gives it durability without sacrificing comfort. The Western-inspired contrast fabric detailing really adds a touch of character to my outfit, making me feel like a modern-day cowboy. One thing I absolutely love about this jacket is how versatile it is. Whether I'm out in the field hunting or just running errands, this jacket keeps me protected and stylish. Another feature that stood out for me is the front yoke that extends to double chest pocket flaps - it's such a practical design, offering plenty of storage space. However, like any product, there are some minor drawbacks. The sizing runs slightly small, so if you're looking for a looser fit, consider sizing up. Additionally, I wish there were clearer care instructions included with the jacket. In conclusion, the "Legendary Whitetails Lonestar Shirt Jacket" is a high-quality, stylish piece that's perfect for both indoor and outdoor use. While it might not be perfect for everyone, it certainly has made a positive impact on my wardrobe. 🔗Hoggs of Fife Stewarton Cotton Canvas Jackethttps://preview.redd.it/pu6dzdz2hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c98830577fdeb9adf56b73705b8a5552f095fd6a I recently purchased the Hoggs of Fife Stewarton Canvas Coat in Camel, and I must say, it has quickly become a wardrobe staple for me. The coat is made of a robust, waterproof 100% cotton canvas that is soft to the touch yet offers excellent protection from the elements. Wearing this coat, I feel as if I am walking through the wilderness with a classic, outdoorsy charm. One of my favorite features is the faux suede collar and brass zip that adds a touch of timeless elegance to the overall design. The jacket also boasts multiple pockets, including two large magnetic closure pockets, a zipped pocket, and an internal zipped pocket, making it easy for me to carry my essentials without worrying about losing them. The other day, when I went for a long walk on a chilly evening, the coat kept me warm and cozy while providing just the right amount of insulation. However, one drawback I have noticed is that the collar could be stiffer for added support and protection. Nevertheless, the Stewarton Canvas Coat truly delivers on its promise of being a high-quality, comfortable coat for the outdoorsy individual. 🔗Gamehide Fenceline Hunting Upland Jacket - Tan-Orangehttps://preview.redd.it/k8hrgwj3hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bef351f9531c41536eb04784ac8d4a30c7de1482 I recently tried the Gamehide Fenceline Upland Jacket and it has quickly become my go-to hunting gear. The HyperHide fabric with fleece lining manages to provide exceptional stretch and comfort while remaining water and wind resistant. The handwarmer pockets and vertical chest pocket are really useful for keeping my essentials close at hand during long hunts. However, one thing that I would have appreciated is a smaller, zipped pocket where I could store my phone and keys securely. Another minor issue is that the game bag can get a bit cumbersome when it's full, but overall, this jacket has been a game-changer for my hunting adventures. It's stylish, comfortable, and truly stands out among other hunting jackets I've tried. 🔗Premium Men's Stretch Canvas Jackethttps://preview.redd.it/158aiax3hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74da8bcb684c7cf77c2fe4d394ed93c856a6668f I recently purchased the Guide Gear Canvas Jacket for my outdoor adventures, and I must say, it has not disappointed. With its heavy-duty cotton canvas/spandex shell with a peached finish, it's both tough and comfortable. The stretchy fabric ensures no limitations on movement while I'm hiking or hunting, making it perfect for all my outdoor escapades. Plus, the water-repellent finish comes in handy when the weather takes an unexpected turn. I also appreciate the various pockets, including the interior ones with hook-and-loop closures, that provide ample storage space for all my essentials. Overall, this jacket has been a reliable and stylish addition to my wardrobe, perfect for any adventurer who wants both durability and flexibility. 🔗Duck Camp Lightweight Brush Jackethttps://preview.redd.it/jmju5m94hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3098426f7d509eb521ccd137023dcf36a22b7d4a When I first got my hands on the Duck Camp Lightweight Brush Jacket, I was excited to see how it would perform during my outdoor adventures. As soon as I put it on, I knew it was going to become a staple in my wardrobe. The thick stretch canvas offered the perfect balance of protection and flexibility, making it suitable for various activities like hunting or lounging around the campfire. One feature that really stood out for me was the fit. It was just right - not too tight, nor too loose. The length, which hits at the hip, contributes to the overall aesthetic of the jacket. Plus, pairing it with Duck Camp's Brand Pants creates a cohesive and stylish look that I absolutely adore. However, there's always room for improvement. Some users have reported issues with the fabric quality. It may not hold up as well against heavy use or waxing as some traditional brush jackets do. Nonetheless, the price point is quite affordable, and you get what you pay for. In summary, the Duck Camp Lightweight Brush Jacket is an excellent addition to any outdoorsman's closet. Its comfortable fit, versatile usage, and stylish design make it perfect for both hunting trips and casual outings. Just keep in mind that it might not be as durable as more expensive alternatives, but at its current price, it's definitely worth considering. 🔗Classic Wyoming Traders Men's Ranch Canvas Jacket - Chocolatehttps://preview.redd.it/3ddtvtt4hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74a5ffb51858c2bd51b873c0a4c9cda2a7cc1f44 I recently purchased the Wyoming Traders Men's Canvas Western Ranch Jacket in chocolate color, and I have to say, this coat is one of the warmest and sturdiest I've ever had. Living in a cold climate, I was thrilled to find a coat that can handle sub-zero temperatures. The 12-ounce cotton canvas construction offers excellent durability and the corduroy collar adds a touch of visual appeal. One of the standout features for me is the quilted polyester satin-lined arms, which keep my hands warm and cosy. The adjustable snap wrist cuffs make it incredibly easy to customize the fit to my preference. The shoulder Western yoke design on the front and back is a great addition, making this coat both functional and stylish. However, there are a few minor drawbacks. Some users have reported that the buttons can be prone to falling off. While I haven't experienced this issue myself, it's worth keeping in mind if you plan on using this coat in rugged conditions. Additionally, the zipper quality could be improved, as it can be challenging to get started initially. Overall, the Wyoming Traders Men's Canvas Western Ranch Jacket is a fantastic choice for those in search of a warm, sturdy, and stylish coat. With its array of pockets and comfortable fit, it's perfect for work or leisure activities. The coat may have a few minor issues, but at such an affordable price, it's hard to find a better option. 🔗Gamekeeper Field Coat with Mossy Oak Camohttps://preview.redd.it/aajq5v25hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6772e8070d32e09cd15836545ee16e2a97bcbaf I recently purchased the Mossy Oak Gamekeeper Field Coat to enhance my hunting experience and it certainly did not disappoint. The fleece lining and 100% cotton duck fabric ensure I'm warm and comfortable throughout the day. The multiple pockets prove incredibly useful for storing my essentials and gadgets. The pleats at the back offer enhanced mobility, making it a breeze to move around without any constraints. However, the absence of an additional layer of insulation might be a drawback for some during extremely cold weather conditions. Overall, I would highly recommend this field coat for anyone looking to up their hunting game. 🔗Canvas Camo Hunting Jacket for Durability and Comforthttps://preview.redd.it/k21xhkj5hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88a317ff98417809d757f88e3b8ec9c7f8dbba49 When I first unwrapped my Guide Gear Canvas Camo Hunting Jacket, I knew it was going to be a reliable companion during my adventures. The heavy-duty 9.4-oz. cotton canvas/spandex shell instantly caught my eye, as it exuded durability and quality. I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable and quiet it was; making stealth in the wilderness extremely easy. One of the standout features was its roomy fit. Whether I was dipping and diving through bushes or climbing up trees in pursuit of the perfect shot, the jacket's design allowed for full range of motion without any restrictions. The DWR treatment on exterior and inside pockets added an extra layer of protection against the elements, protecting my essentials from moisture and rain. The 100% polyester mesh body lining kept me feeling light and comfortable, while the interior patch pockets with hook-and-loop closure proved incredibly useful for storing my essentials. I also appreciated the adjustable sleeve cuffs, which allowed me to customize the fit to my preference. However, there were a few cons that caught my attention throughout my usage. While the fabric is undeniably high-quality, it does require regular maintenance due to its tendency to accumulate dirt quite quickly. Additionally, I found the jacket to be slightly on the heavier side, making hiking long distances during summer months a little more challenging. Overall, the Guide Gear Canvas Camo Hunting Jacket has proven to be a reliable and comfortable choice for my outdoor adventures. Though it may have a few minor drawbacks in terms of maintenance and weight, its durability and practical features make it a worthwhile investment for any avid hunter. 🔗Waxed Canvas Hunting Jacket by Volcomhttps://preview.redd.it/9v3ulvv5hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd62eb9c4716afb9735a1a175a1813e855da55cf I recently got my hands on the Volcom Tony Canvas Field Jacket in Rust, and I must say, it's been an absolute game-changer in my day-to-day wardrobe. This jacket exudes vintage charm with its boxy fit and corduroy collar, while providing the comfortable durability of a 100% cotton canvas. One of the first things that stood out to me was the flannel liner on the interior. It keeps me cozy and warm, perfect for those chilly mornings when I'm jogging out to get my morning coffee. The pocket placement is also spot on, providing ample storage options without compromising style. However, one con might be the lack of a hood. Living in a city with unpredictable weather, I sometimes miss having the option to quickly throw up a hood when it starts pouring rain. Despite this, I still find myself reaching for my Tony Canvas Field Jacket more often than not. In conclusion, the Volcom TonyCanvas Field Jacket in Rust offers a perfect blend of style and functionality. Its unique design combined with practical features make it a must-have addition to any wardrobe. Buyer's GuideWhether you're an avid hunter or just starting out, a high-quality canvas hunting jacket is essential for your outdoor excursions. Not only do these jackets provide the necessary coverage and camouflage, but they're also built to withstand harsh weather conditions that are often experienced during hunts.Features to Considerhttps://preview.redd.it/x59w80h6hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1350335580cf022c954ff2229252683a04d70a6a
General AdviceBefore making your purchase, consider your specific hunting needs and preferences. Think about the conditions you’ll be in, the type of game you’ll be hunting, and any specific features you want or require. Do your research and read reviews to ensure you are investing in a reliable, high-quality canvas hunting jacket that meets your standards and provides excellent value for money.Importance of Compliance with Google Search GuidelinesEnsure your content is relevant and helpful to users who are searching for information on canvas hunting jackets. Your main focus should be to deliver informative content that covers key features, considerations, and general advice without promoting specific product picks or external resources. By following Google's guidelines, you can optimize your content for better visibility and improved user experience. https://preview.redd.it/3hnb78s6hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9db1f2b95b95e0af2340ca1ed118b724356c0ff8 FAQ1. What are canvas hunting jackets?Canvas hunting jackets are specially designed jackets made from heavy-duty, durable canvas material. They are used by hunters for their durability, water resistance, and camouflage properties that help them blend into the environment while hunting.2. Why are canvas hunting jackets popular among hunters?https://preview.redd.it/5f5f9ah7hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1273898a3cd8d25a1e1d6a84767a78b623995d9 Canvas hunting jackets are popular among hunters due to their robust construction, resistance to harsh weather conditions, and ability to blend into various environments effectively, promoting concealment while hunting. 3. What features should I look for in a canvas hunting jacket?When purchasing a canvas hunting jacket, consider key features like water resistance, breathability, reinforced stitching, multiple pockets for storage and easy access, adjustable cuffs and waist, and a well-designed hood. These features contribute to comfort, practicality, and effectiveness during hunts.4. Are canvas hunting jackets suitable for all weather conditions?Canvas hunting jackets are designed to withstand various weather conditions, including rain, wind, and even light snow. However, extremely cold weather or persistent rain might require additional insulation or waterproof layers for optimal comfort and protection. https://preview.redd.it/kovz9xl7hb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9192c11c9a2e45ba17f1a493311f7b1dbed8514 5. How do I care for my canvas hunting jacket?To maintain your canvas hunting jacket's performance and prolong its lifespan, follow the manufacturer's care instructions. Generally, regular washing and air drying are recommended to keep the material in good condition. If the jacket becomes excessively dirty, use a gentle detergent and line dry it to prevent shrinkage or damage to the fabric.6. Can I use a canvas hunting jacket for other activities besides hunting?Yes, canvas hunting jackets can be perfect for other outdoor activities like fishing, hiking, camping, and even gardening. Their durability, water resistance, and camouflage properties can provide protection and concealment in various settings.7. How can I find the right canvas hunting jacket size for me?Consult the sizing chart provided by the manufacturer to determine your ideal size. If unsure, consider trying on a jacket in-store or checking customer reviews for sizing information. Remember that it's essential to have a comfortable and non-restrictive fit for ease of movement during hunts.8. Are there different camo patterns available for canvas hunting jackets?Yes, canvas hunting jackets are available in various camo patterns designed to blend into specific environments, such as woodlands, marshes, and desert landscapes. Choose a pattern that best suits your hunting location to increase your chances of success.9. Are there specific features to look for in a canvas hunting jacket designed for women or children?Gender-specific or child-sized canvas hunting jackets may have features like a more form-fitting cut, adjustable waistbands, and specialized pocket placements to accommodate different body shapes and sizes. Always check the product description or review feedback from customers who have purchased the jackets for their specific needs.10. How much do canvas hunting jackets typically cost?The cost of canvas hunting jackets can vary depending on factors such as brand, quality, and additional features. Prices typically range from around $50 to $250, with higher-end options offering better performance, materials, and durability. Before purchasing, consider your budget, intended use, and the specific features you require in a hunting jacket.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 07:08 judas__no I need (friendly) advice about my game play/island
This will be a pretty lengthy post, sorry !
So I’m fairly new to the game (I played on iOS—which I know isn’t exactly the same but still), been playing since 4/1 of this year. I’ve advanced far enough that I’ve upgraded Residential Services, built Nook’s Cranny, moved in the initial three villagers, and upgraded my house five times.
I say all that to show that while I’m still fresh—and have so so so much further to go before I’m even getting stars, let alone five of them (which I’m not sure is my objective, but I digress), and having this immaculate island—I’m starting to get a little frustrated ? by my plateau in progress.
One of my main goals since I unlocked it has been filling my museum with all the creatures possible. I spend hours diving for sea creatures only to find the same things I’ve already discovered; which I know a lot of them are seasonal, so it will take time, it’s just discouraging. I come during all hours of the day and never find any new bugs. I endure wasp sting after wasp sting (bc I’m crap at netting them bc anxiety 💀) hoping to shake a new bug out of trees and no luck.
I know one way to acquiring some of the things I’m looking for (fruits, flowers, etc.) is nook miles tickets so I do my tasks for miles and build up a good amount of miles and invest hella of them (like 25,000+ at this point, for the sole purpose of finding aforementioned items) just to get the same fruit (apples, my native fruit ofc lol; and I’ve gotten cherries twice that I’ve noticed), fossils I’ve already found; hell, even the same fish.
I also know that you can travel to other peoples’ island to get stuff that way, but I feel like a cheater and like I’m not doing the work everyone else has put in to make their islands extravagant and amazing (I almost had an aneurysm when I saw people having giveaways and having their own lil events bc hoooooowww). And if it requires online to do that, I don’t have that yet bc it can’t fit in my budget, as cheap as it is. Or if it requires me to open my island, I’m not ready to do that (if I even can bc idk it if requires online).
It’s all very disheartening and it’s hard to stay motivated to keep playing for any reason other than getting my daily ABD check in and to to check what’s for sale at Nooks and Able Sisters’ (which makes me spend bells I should be saving for upgrades and such). I guess I need advice on how to stay entertained without getting burnout bc I don’t wanna stop playing bc I’m not bored just yet and I also don’t wanna leave so long I have to come back to do major clean up/lose villagers.
Thank you in advance to reading this long winded rant, and for any advice my hardheaded stubborn self can get !
TL;DR: I feel stuck bc nothing new is generating in any category (bugs, fish, sea creatures, fruits and flowers on mystery islands) but I don’t wanna take the easy way out to get them, or if I even can.
submitted by judas__no to acnh [link] [comments]
So I’m fairly new to the game (I played on iOS—which I know isn’t exactly the same but still), been playing since 4/1 of this year. I’ve advanced far enough that I’ve upgraded Residential Services, built Nook’s Cranny, moved in the initial three villagers, and upgraded my house five times.
I say all that to show that while I’m still fresh—and have so so so much further to go before I’m even getting stars, let alone five of them (which I’m not sure is my objective, but I digress), and having this immaculate island—I’m starting to get a little frustrated ? by my plateau in progress.
One of my main goals since I unlocked it has been filling my museum with all the creatures possible. I spend hours diving for sea creatures only to find the same things I’ve already discovered; which I know a lot of them are seasonal, so it will take time, it’s just discouraging. I come during all hours of the day and never find any new bugs. I endure wasp sting after wasp sting (bc I’m crap at netting them bc anxiety 💀) hoping to shake a new bug out of trees and no luck.
I know one way to acquiring some of the things I’m looking for (fruits, flowers, etc.) is nook miles tickets so I do my tasks for miles and build up a good amount of miles and invest hella of them (like 25,000+ at this point, for the sole purpose of finding aforementioned items) just to get the same fruit (apples, my native fruit ofc lol; and I’ve gotten cherries twice that I’ve noticed), fossils I’ve already found; hell, even the same fish.
I also know that you can travel to other peoples’ island to get stuff that way, but I feel like a cheater and like I’m not doing the work everyone else has put in to make their islands extravagant and amazing (I almost had an aneurysm when I saw people having giveaways and having their own lil events bc hoooooowww). And if it requires online to do that, I don’t have that yet bc it can’t fit in my budget, as cheap as it is. Or if it requires me to open my island, I’m not ready to do that (if I even can bc idk it if requires online).
It’s all very disheartening and it’s hard to stay motivated to keep playing for any reason other than getting my daily ABD check in and to to check what’s for sale at Nooks and Able Sisters’ (which makes me spend bells I should be saving for upgrades and such). I guess I need advice on how to stay entertained without getting burnout bc I don’t wanna stop playing bc I’m not bored just yet and I also don’t wanna leave so long I have to come back to do major clean up/lose villagers.
Thank you in advance to reading this long winded rant, and for any advice my hardheaded stubborn self can get !
TL;DR: I feel stuck bc nothing new is generating in any category (bugs, fish, sea creatures, fruits and flowers on mystery islands) but I don’t wanna take the easy way out to get them, or if I even can.
2024.05.19 07:07 Stage-Piercing727 Best Canvas Gym Bags
 | submitted by Stage-Piercing727 to u/Stage-Piercing727 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/2pninai3gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=265f4aea2315e62196c9c90b972c1c04b780af35 Looking for a stylish and durable gym bag? Look no further! In this article, we bring you a comprehensive roundup of the best canvas gym bags available today. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or a casual gym-goer, these bags are designed to provide ample storage, comfort, and convenience during your workout sessions. So if you're in the market for a reliable workout companion, read on to find the perfect canvas gym bag for your needs. From stylish and functional designs to lightweight and spacious options, our selection of canvas gym bags caters to every preferences and requirements. Discover the top-rated options and make an informed decision on the perfect bag to accompany you throughout your fitness journey. The Top 13 Best Canvas Gym Bags
Reviews🔗Premium Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag for Outdoor Adventureshttps://preview.redd.it/vx6u6dy3gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21ff96d9424931d91ff36ecb6deb90ccdeef3196 I recently had the chance to test out the Readywares Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag on a camping trip, and it truly exceeded my expectations. The first thing that caught my eye was its timeless design and high-quality waxed canvas construction. It's no wonder this bag has a rating of 4.7 out of 5, as users consistently rave about its craftsmanship. Before my trip, I was a little concerned about the stiffness of the waxed canvas, but it quickly softened up as I loaded it with my camping gear. I particularly appreciated the padded handle and base support, which made carrying the duffel bag comfortable and easy, regardless of how heavy it got. The storage options in this Readywares duffel bag are quite impressive as well. With multiple compartments, I had no trouble keeping my items organized throughout my trip. The only downside was the lack of an interior pouch, which would have been beneficial for smaller items. In conclusion, the Readywares Waxed Canvas Duffel Bag is a reliable and stylish choice for anyone in need of a high-quality carryall. Its craftsmanship, storage options, and overall size make it a perfect companion for various activities, ranging from weekend getaways to camping trips. However, it could benefit from the addition of an interior pouch to keep smaller items secure. 🔗Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Baghttps://preview.redd.it/n5hpsm84gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c29f049e961ac7d16f8e75b3c700d555d923f8e The WHITEDUCK Hoplite Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Bag in Blue is an indispensable travel companion that you can take along no matter where life leads you. This sturdy bag boasts a whopping 204L capacity, perfect for packing all your essentials for a weekend getaway or longer excursions. One of its key features is the high-quality, double-fill cotton canvas with a tight weave, ensuring durability and wear and tear resistance. The weatherproof fabric is reinforced at all stress points too, making it incredibly sturdy. Plus, the fully zipped compartment offers ample space to store larger items without any hassle. A standout feature is the heavy-duty, full-length zippers that can handle oversized and bulky items with ease. The soft and ultra-reliable cotton carry handles equipped with a Velcro tag for quick lifting and carrying add convenience. And let's not forget about the adjustable, removable padded shoulder strap for maximum comfort. The bag's versatility is another significant highlight. Whether you're going camping, using it for gym storage, or during your daily commute, the Hoplite Duffel Bag adapts seamlessly to all your needs. On the downside, some users have mentioned that the bag's dimensions can be a bit confusing initially, but after figuring it out, its performance has exceeded all expectations. In a nutshell, the WHITEDUCK Hoplite Heavy Duty Military Canvas Duffel Bag combines durability, capacity, and versatility to provide a top-notch travel experience. Its excellent workmanship gives it the robustness and longevity you desire in a duffel bag. This product is undoubtedly a worthwhile investment for those seeking a reliable travel companion. 🔗Extra Large Capacity Canvas Duffel Baghttps://preview.redd.it/fudl88o4gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52537af64f56bfdaa4d1f21e870515ce2e9cdc7e I recently found myself in need of a reliable and spacious bag for a camping trip, and that's when I came across the YoKelly 36 inch Canvas Duffel Bag. I have to say, this high-quality canvas duffel has been a game-changer for all my outdoor adventures since then. I was initially skeptical about the capacity given its light weight of just 1.2 lbs, but boy, was I in for a pleasant surprise. This Deluxe Canvas Duffel Bag truly delivers on its promise of a spacious 100L storage capacity, making it perfect for travel, camping, fishing, and sports as well. The high-quality canvas ensures durability and the solid stitching provides extra strength and resistance against wear and tear. Its dimensions of 36x13x13 inches are just the right size for packing all my essentials without feeling bulky or cumbersome. However, one minor drawback I noticed is that it only has one compartment for organization. While this didn't cause any major issues during my camping trip, I do wish there were additional pockets for smaller items to keep everything more organized. Overall, the YoKelly 36 inch Canvas Duffel Bag has made my life so much easier and more convenient, offering ample storage space in a lightweight, durable, and versatile package. If you're on the hunt for the perfect travel, camping, or sports bag, I highly recommend giving this duffel a try. 🔗Durable Military Canvas Duffle Bag for Long Tripshttps://preview.redd.it/j9z5erz4gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fbebbd6271366160de8ec3c20d4ae86a9ba5495 When I first laid my eyes on the Rothco Gi Style Canvas Double Strap Duffle Bag, I knew that it was a perfect match for my travel needs. This military-inspired bag checks all the boxes for durability, ample storage space, and versatile carrying options. Made of 22 oz heavyweight cotton canvas material, it's been built with utmost durability, making it the go-to option for all your long and short trips. The generous dimensions of 22 inches x 38 inches allow me to pack plenty of clothes and gear effortlessly. I especially love the adjustable shoulder straps and the sturdy handle for conveniently carrying it like a suitcase or a backpack. This flexibility gives me the freedom to pack even more stuff while ensuring comfort on long commutes. The additional side pocket with a snap closure is a bonus for keeping small items or travel documents organized and easily accessible. I've been using this duffle bag for everything from overnight trips to the gym and it has exceeded my expectations in every way. However, some users have reported a strong odor upon receiving the item. This can be a bit off-putting, but a couple of washes usually do the trick. The Rothco Gi Style Canvas Double Strap Duffle Bag is a smart buy for anyone looking for a reliable, large-capacity bag made from high-quality materials. Its versatile design, durability, and practical features make it an ideal choice for all your travel adventures. 🔗Steeletex Antimicrobial Gym Bag in Navyhttps://preview.redd.it/nulppjb5gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=712cd2feb44222cbb511154d7b66cfff1e3e3e88 I recently got introduced to the Steeletex Gym Bag by Steele Canvas, and I must say, I've been thoroughly impressed with its performance and quality. The first thing that caught my eye was the unique construction material - it's not your regular canvas or nylon bag. This one has an antimicrobial vinyl coating that not only provides water resistance but also ensures easy cleaning. One of the standout features of this bag is its size. It's perfect for holding all my gym clothes, sneakers, and even my favorite water bottle. I've been using it regularly since I got it, and it has shown no signs of wear and tear yet. Speaking of which, the durability of this bag is another highlight. The 18.5 oz. antimicrobial vinyl coated nylon liner is not just water and tear-resistant, but it's also treated with BACshield, which ensures that mold, mildew, fungi, or bacteria don't get a chance to grow. The Steeletex Gym Bag also comes with a couple of convenient pockets - one inside and one outside. These have been incredibly useful for keeping my belongings organized. As for the design, the black leather hand grips add a touch of class to the overall aesthetic. Besides, the adjustable shoulder strap ensures comfort even during long gym sessions. However, there's one thing that I would've appreciated more - if they had included a mesh or ventilated pocket for storing wet clothes or shoes separately. This would have made the bag even more versatile and useful. But all in all, I've been thoroughly happy with my Steeletex Gym Bag. Its durability, size, and convenience make it an excellent companion for my daily gym visits. Plus, knowing that it's made in America by hardworking American craftsmen adds an extra layer of satisfaction to my purchase. I would highly recommend this bag to anyone looking for a reliable and high-quality gym bag. 🔗Classic Canvas Duffle Bag for Travelhttps://preview.redd.it/9p0zegu5gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51a81f51f1965da95f5a011d4550b16b3373c90c First off, picture yourself embarking on a weekend getaway with nothing more than this trusty Trailmaker duffel bag at your side. The 30-liter capacity ensures you'll have ample space for all your essentials - be it clothes, shoes, or even your favorite dance attire for weekend classes! And don't worry about wearing it out yet. This durable canvas bag is built to last, so you can make countless travel adventures with it. One thing I noticed about this bag is how versatile it really is. Not only does it serve as an excellent carry-on for flights, but it proved to be quite handy for daily trips to the gym as well. Its lightweight design ensures easy portability, especially when combined with its adjustable shoulder strap. Plus, the simple yet elegant design pairs well with any outfit, whether you're dressing up or down. However, there are some cons to consider. Some users reported issues with the quality of the bag, particularly the zipper which tends to jam often. The lack of compartments inside can also lead to a messy bag when overstuffed. However, considering its affordable price point and high ratings among users, these minor drawbacks seem overshadowed by the overall positive experience most reviewers have had with this bag. Overall, the Trailmaker duffel bag is a reliable choice for individuals seeking a spacious, durable, and affordable bag for travel, gym use, or everyday needs. Despite some reported issues with the zipper and lack of compartments, the majority of reviewers seem satisfied with their purchase, highlighting the immense utility and convenience offered by this bag. 🔗Classic Vintage Duffle Baghttps://preview.redd.it/vnmvuu46gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59daea38662ad9f1fd7434ad575680f64f8592e7 I recently had the chance to try out the Sweetbriar Classic Weekender Duffel and I must say, it's been a game-changer for my travel needs. The moment I laid my eyes on its vintage-inspired canvas design with retro rucksack vibe, I knew this bag meant serious style. One of the features that really stood out was its spacious interior. It comfortably fit all my essentials for a weekend getaway, including clothes, toiletries, and even some extras like a small travel pillow. Speaking of extras, the bag has several pockets both outside and inside, which are perfect for storing smaller items like wallets or keys. Another thing I appreciated was how easy it was to clean. I'm known for being a bit clumsy, so accidents are inevitable. But with this duffel, a damp cloth was enough to wipe away any spills or stains. However, there was one issue I encountered. The zipper closure, while sturdy and secure, was a bit tricky to navigate at times. It took me a few attempts to get it right, which felt a little frustrating. All in all, I'm quite satisfied with the Sweetbriar Classic Weekender Duffel. It's stylish, practical, and well-built, making it an ideal choice for short trips or gym sessions. It's definitely worth considering if you're in the market for a new bag. 🔗MOLLYGAN Large Capacity Canvas Gym Baghttps://preview.redd.it/dyutqkh6gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be53c4b16e4f4756fc1e97e0a390a28a28ed4a06 I've never been the type to travel lightly - I've always packed everything but the kitchen sink. But recently, I stumbled upon this MOLLYGAN Travel Duffel Bag, and I must say, my travel game just leveled up! The black exterior made it perfect for both genders, but what really caught my eye was the superior-quality, soft and smooth canvas material. The structure of this bag is quite impressive too. The side zipper pocket provided a separate space for my shoes (goodbye, smelly gym bag! ) whereas the spacious main compartment and small zipper pocket proved that even though the bag was large in capacity, it was well-organized. Its 35 liters capacity was more than enough to accommodate all my laptops, A4 books, clothes, and daily essentials. Whether going for a leisurely trip or a hectic gym session, this bag had my back. Measuring 18.8 x 10.2 x 11 inches, the bag was just the right size for convenience yet offered so much space. However, the product did have one hiccup, the shoulder strap. It was long and adjustable, but at times, it felt a bit too long, and the handles could have been a tad longer, making it a little harder to carry around. In conclusion, the MOLLYGAN Travel Duffel Bag has undoubtedly improved my daily travel experiences. With its large capacity, durable construction, and ample organization options, it has become a necessity for my daily activities. While it could do with a few adjustments (pun intended), it has nonetheless proven to be a reliable companion. 🔗Military-Grade Canvas Duffel Backpackhttps://preview.redd.it/mw7zj5w6gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8834e11142011dbcdc59b5b3aca467f7739586cd I recently embarked on a weekend getaway with just the Military Duffel Backpack in tow. The modern green color added a trendy touch to my outfit, and upon closer inspection, I could see that the canvas duffel was indeed made of high-quality, water-repellent material. I felt confident that my belongings were well-protected, even in a sudden downpour. The adjustable shoulder straps came in handy as I traversed through the crowded city streets, allowing me to find the perfect fit and distributing the weight of my stuff evenly. One feature I particularly appreciated was the heavy-duty cross-stitched carrying handle. I found it incredibly useful when I wanted to switch up my carrying style and convert the backpack into a traditional duffel bag. The stainless eyelets and rugged buckles made the whole process incredibly smooth and secure. However, I did encounter a minor issue with the top clasp that held everything closed. It was slightly smaller than the holes on the flaps, so the bag wasn't completely sealed. While this didn't affect its overall performance during my trip, I did have to exercise a bit more caution to prevent anything from slipping out. To sum it up, the Military Duffel Backpack is a reliable and fashionable bag that offers ample space and thoughtful storage options. The canvas material ensures durability and water resistance, while the adjustable straps offer comfort and convenience. Although the top clasp could be slightly improved, I would definitely recommend this backpack for travelers and everyday adventurers alike! 🔗Extra Large Yoga Mat Duffel Bag with Hammockhttps://preview.redd.it/ru42be77gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1ca7e587c46f27f4cf6bf689a94a6466b4daee5 I've been using the Kindfolk Yoga Mat XL Duffel Bag Mesa for a few weeks now and I must say, it's been a game-changer for my daily yoga practice. The highlight of this bag is undoubtedly the ample amount of space it provides. After spending days googling 'XL yoga duffel bags', I finally decided to give this one a shot when I saw that it could fit multiple yoga mats, blocks and towels - and boy, was it true! I've never been able to bring everything I need to the studio or gym with such ease. Another thing that I absolutely love about this bag is that it's vegan and environmentally friendly. As someone who's conscious about their impact on the environment, knowing that I'm using a product that aligns with my values gives me peace of mind. Plus, for every unit sold, Kindfolk donates $1 to FITS STANDARD, a charity that helps end slavery worldwide. However, one of the cons I noticed is that the straps could be slightly longer. While it's not a deal-breaker for me, it can be a bit cumbersome when carrying it on top of everything else. All in all, I am thrilled with my purchase and would definitely recommend it to others. Not only is it spacious and stylish, but it also feels well-made and of high quality. For those looking for a reliable and environmentally-friendly bag for their yoga practice, the Kindfolk Yoga Mat XL Duffel Bag is definitely worth considering. 🔗Casual Canvas Travel Gym Bag for daily jog or triphttps://preview.redd.it/028p45j7gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a4272acaf25dc3fd3b5fbc710c447805a213524 Imagine this: I'm strolling down the bustling city streets, and my trusty Vagabond Traveler Casual Canvas Bag is by my side. This bag isn't just a carry-all for my gym gear; it's a statement about my sense of style and practicality. The first time I used this bag, I was blown away by its spacious interior. It holds everything I need for a workout and more, from my sneakers to my sweat towel, and even a spare change of clothes. The multiple pockets (and there are plenty) kept me organized and efficient, making my mornings just a little bit easier. The Vagabond Traveler bag's construction is a testament to its craftsmanship. This bag isn't just made to last; it's made to look good while doing it. The canvas is a beautiful shade of khaki, and the vintage brass hardware adds a touch of class. The cotton fabric is incredibly comfortable to carry, and it's clear that it's been washed and worn to achieve its classic, old-school appearance. Now, every time I strap this canvas bag onto my shoulder, I'm reminded of its many merits. It's the perfect blend of practicality, durability, and visual appeal. However, some users may find the strap too long or the lack of waterproofing a concern. But for me, these minor quibbles don't detract from the overall quality and utility of this amazing gym bag. In conclusion, the Vagabond Traveler Casual Canvas Bag has become an indispensable part of my daily life. Its combination of space, organization, and style makes it the ideal choice for anyone looking for a reliable gym bag that's both functional and fashionable. 🔗Durable Waxed Canvas Duffle Baghttps://preview.redd.it/8d14r128gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00e1e6a80d0c05de04d77a435dd45950627c8ac8 I recently purchased the Steele Canvas Waxed Canvas Duffle Bag for an upcoming travel adventure, and I must say, it has surpassed all of my expectations. As soon as I laid my eyes on it, I was impressed by its sleek and sturdy appearance, which instantly made me feel confident about its durability. The adjustable shoulder strap and brown leather grip handles felt comfortable against my shoulder and hands, making it a pleasure to carry around. The moment I unzipped the bag, I noticed the generous space inside, perfect for holding all of my essentials without any clutter. The two interior pockets are an added bonus, allowing me to keep my smaller items organized and easily accessible. The exterior side and end pockets have also proven to be quite useful for storing my frequently needed items. One of the key features I truly appreciated is the nickel plated zipper and pull, making it easy for me to secure my belongings without any worry about potential malfunctions. Steele Canvas has truly created a high-quality, durable bag that is sure to withstand the test of time. Despite the minor inconvenience of needing two hands to secure the zipper on the outside pocket, I believe this duffle bag is a perfect addition to my travel collection. The Steele Canvas Waxed Canvas Duffle Bag has definitely made a lasting impression on me, and I am already looking forward to using it on countless more adventures. 🔗Durable and Versatile Military-Grade Canvas Gym Baghttps://preview.redd.it/ndwsbla8gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23a77d45be6c0b639381d50961e59b04f7aff422 As a product reviewer, I recently got the chance to try out the Medium Duffle Bag in black, and my experience has been nothing short of exceptional. I've been using it for everything from weekend trips to gym sessions, and it's truly become a staple in my daily routine. The bag's most striking feature, hands down, is its heavy-duty construction. The double and triple-needle-stitched reinforced design not only gives it a sleek look that fits any environment but also ensures that it can handle even the heaviest loads without a hitch. I've noticed its durability in various situations - from transporting bulky sports gear to storing off-season clothing, this duffel bag has never let me down. One of the things I love about this duffel bag is how versatile it is. Made from lightweight yet durable cotton canvas, it's perfect for travel, sports, and leisure activities. Its convenient collapsible feature when not in use makes storage a breeze, and it's been especially useful during my many camping trips. Despite its size, the bag is surprisingly easy to carry around. Reinforced handles and adjustable shoulder straps make sure that I can handle even the heaviest loads comfortably. Plus, the two-way zipper and key-locking mechanism offer extra security for my belongings. However, one small area of improvement could be the weight of the bag itself. While it's definitely not a deal-breaker, considering the durability and high-quality materials used, some users might find it slightly heavier than desired. All in all, I'm extremely satisfied with my Medium Duffle Bag. Its combination of sturdy construction, versatility, and ease of use make it a worthwhile investment for anyone in need of a reliable bag for travel, sports, or everyday use. Buyer's GuideCanvas gym bags are a versatile and stylish choice for active people who prioritize functionality and quality. With the right features and construction, these bags can become an essential part of your fitness routine, ensuring that your gear stays organized and protected during workouts and commutes.Important Featureshttps://preview.redd.it/2z69m8r8gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0448721c5b560ead176ce13e8bed48e6c0f4d72e
Considerations
General Advice
https://preview.redd.it/84isyv89gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeb51bbcc7b25a80254804c73a4ddc9fbd802018 FAQWhat are Canvas Gym Bags and what are they used for?Canvas Gym Bags are sturdy, versatile, and environmentally friendly bags designed for carrying sports and workout clothing, shoes, and accessories. Made from high-quality canvas material, they are suitable for various activities, including gym workouts, swimming, yoga, and outdoor sports.Why should I choose a Canvas Gym Bag over other materials?https://preview.redd.it/8g3ow8p9gb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=539d40a4189e82fcaf7dc4dfded681d3fa308f5f Canvas Gym Bags are eco-friendly and have multiple benefits compared to other materials. They are lightweight, durable, and easy to maintain. Canvas is a breathable material that ensures items inside stay fresh and odor-free. Additionally, canvas is moisture-resistant, making it perfect for storing damp towels and swimsuits. How do I know if a Canvas Gym Bag is waterproof?High-quality Canvas Gym Bags are often treated with water-resistant coatings and may include waterproof zippers or compartments. Check the product description or contact the manufacturer for specific information about water resistance.Do Canvas Gym Bags have compartments for organizing my workout gear?Yes, most Canvas Gym Bags come with multiple compartments and pockets designed to organize your workout essentials. Many bags feature separate shoe compartments, a wet pocket for storing damp items, and small pockets for storing smaller items like keys, wallets, and phones. https://preview.redd.it/h9utri5agb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb8b5cc01275872e0fe1543270afe579eb34bd4 How do I clean a Canvas Gym Bag?Cleaning a Canvas Gym Bag is easy and can be done at home. Simply remove any dirt or debris with a soft brush or cloth. Then, mix a few drops of gentle detergent with water and gently clean the bag's interior and exterior. Rinse thoroughly and air dry away from direct sunlight. It is recommended to consult the manufacturer's care instructions for specific cleaning guidance.How do I choose the right size for a Canvas Gym Bag?Selecting the right size depends on the type and amount of workout gear you'll be carrying. Consider the dimensions of the bag and the volume it can hold. If you're unsure, read reviews from other customers or consult the manufacturer's recommendations for size guidance.Are Canvas Gym Bags suitable for travel?Yes, Canvas Gym Bags are versatile and can be used for travel. Their durability and lightweight nature make them suitable for short trips and weekend getaways. Some Canvas Gym Bags even come with additional features, such as luggage tags or straps, to make traveling easier.Can Canvas Gym Bags be personalized or customized?Yes, many manufacturers offer customization options for Canvas Gym Bags. This can include adding your name or initials, choosing a specific design or pattern, or even selecting custom colors. Personalized or customized bags make great gifts and can help you easily identify your bag amidst a crowded gym or locker room.What is the price range for Canvas Gym Bags?The price range for Canvas Gym Bags varies depending on factors such as size, quality, and additional features. Prices can range from $20 for basic models to over $100 for high-end, designer options. Consider your budget and specific needs when selecting a Canvas Gym Bag to ensure you get the best value for your money.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 07:07 CaptainIndividual292 lost souls
[although this is a start but let me know how is it so far] part 1 There is a boy with stormy eyes..he always carry the pain of something no one can put an eye on.Nothing much of a talker but a very obvious esteem about him that made anyone around him intimidated of who he is."The Laur" is the name of the orphanage he lives in as a home.Our Home.There's everyone and him.The kind of differentiate queer you can point out by eyes,sounds and body language. Although he is only just twelve who would have thought whatever the kind of destiny brought him here.I only saw him the other day.I'm new here.My parents died in a car accident with hit and run and eversince then I am to live here.He is sitting in the corner,his usual spot.I stare at him while I play with my food.I'm not allowed to play with my food but my body is hidden by the wooden stand of the roof upward and no one can see me anyway.I am curious and mother says it will be the death of me someday-I don't wish her to be here but bless her soul-, maybe this is one of those days.I didn't even realize I was moving until Miss Abby sternly said "Finish your food young lady" Busted.."Yes Miss.Abby"I sit back down.maybe not today."It's just another staring day then.."I mutter to myself and look up and there he is-eyes already on me and gone quickly-not even for me to decide to trust my own eyes.What does he want anyway.I guess we will find out soon enough. it's the next day and it's Teacher Joe English class."Rachel,you did very well" she is giving out test papers."Thanks you, teacher joe".I have nothing to do here but look at people whining and about."Aaron"teacher called.Everyone instantly rolling their eyes around the class."He's not here"someone from class said."This boy is trouble" teacher said and finish out giving the papers.I saw him in the upper library class this morning.He lives there or want to.Maybe he never got out.This might be the perfect opportunity for me to talk to him or help him of he is trapped there..most unlikely but I should check.Yes.I will.
submitted by CaptainIndividual292 to flashfiction [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 07:07 Whole_Lobster_4269 IDC About Your Perceptions, Laying Out How I Want to Be Perceived
I wish- there could be less drama.
I wish you would go back and read what you've said to me and see what I've done in comparison.
I wish you could act empathetically and with care/caution as if my feelings mattered a bit.
I'm asking for you to be LESS egotistical. You don't see how it makes you blind, not just to me but to risks, bad decisions, and outside threats. "Pride comes before the fall."
With this ego issue, you don't know how or when to make nice. That's the missing element of a disagreement: You lash out and have to make nice. That's always been brushed aside; if it's mentioned, you get nasty. Why are you avoiding mediating the pain you cause?
I tried my best to live up to your image of me for as long as I could. I always stayed faithful in my heart to the decisions I made. If I acted, it was with the information I had then and nothing more. If my decisions were wrong or miscalculated, it was because my information was limited and I made best call I could, not because I was some bad/scheming person.
If you disagreed with my "nefarious" actions, I don't really care about your judgment on that move. It was about maximizing the good in that situation and protecting two people, not just one. Anyway, proof of a good decision is that it's sorted between you two now, right? There was no massive fallout.
ANOTHER ISSUE:
When I'm down and weak, you point, laugh, or find it annoying, pick at me, and then make me weaker. It's paralyzing. NOW- when you're down and weak, I play Governess. Why do you do the reverse of nurture and attack when I'm down; isn't that predatory? Is that how you truly feel?
You forget how I acted when I barely knew you. I saw you at your lowest. Naked, showering without a shower curtain, I kept your thoughts in check and suggested how to make blanket nests without a mattress. Along with everything else. THRU your tears, THRU your mindtrips, THRU your rage.
I had your fucking back. I found it bonding. It forced me to see how I truly felt about you. Which was that I cared.
So, what about you? Did you have my back when I was just as shaken up mentally four days ago? Did you feel drawn closer to me through your care?
NAH. We both know you acted sarcastic, rolled your eyes, and just acted disgusted with my "weakness". That's a GLARING fucking problem for me. You can have your problems with me- that one is MINE.
I fucking miss you, I miss what I still see/know is there, but its obscured by shit that, unfortunately- tells me I'm gonna keep getting hurt. I'm not trying to "Come back" or "resolve" none of this power play SHIT. I just want to know you HEARD me. That's all.
submitted by Whole_Lobster_4269 to UnsentLettersRaw [link] [comments]
I wish you would go back and read what you've said to me and see what I've done in comparison.
I wish you could act empathetically and with care/caution as if my feelings mattered a bit.
I'm asking for you to be LESS egotistical. You don't see how it makes you blind, not just to me but to risks, bad decisions, and outside threats. "Pride comes before the fall."
With this ego issue, you don't know how or when to make nice. That's the missing element of a disagreement: You lash out and have to make nice. That's always been brushed aside; if it's mentioned, you get nasty. Why are you avoiding mediating the pain you cause?
I tried my best to live up to your image of me for as long as I could. I always stayed faithful in my heart to the decisions I made. If I acted, it was with the information I had then and nothing more. If my decisions were wrong or miscalculated, it was because my information was limited and I made best call I could, not because I was some bad/scheming person.
If you disagreed with my "nefarious" actions, I don't really care about your judgment on that move. It was about maximizing the good in that situation and protecting two people, not just one. Anyway, proof of a good decision is that it's sorted between you two now, right? There was no massive fallout.
ANOTHER ISSUE:
When I'm down and weak, you point, laugh, or find it annoying, pick at me, and then make me weaker. It's paralyzing. NOW- when you're down and weak, I play Governess. Why do you do the reverse of nurture and attack when I'm down; isn't that predatory? Is that how you truly feel?
You forget how I acted when I barely knew you. I saw you at your lowest. Naked, showering without a shower curtain, I kept your thoughts in check and suggested how to make blanket nests without a mattress. Along with everything else. THRU your tears, THRU your mindtrips, THRU your rage.
I had your fucking back. I found it bonding. It forced me to see how I truly felt about you. Which was that I cared.
So, what about you? Did you have my back when I was just as shaken up mentally four days ago? Did you feel drawn closer to me through your care?
NAH. We both know you acted sarcastic, rolled your eyes, and just acted disgusted with my "weakness". That's a GLARING fucking problem for me. You can have your problems with me- that one is MINE.
I fucking miss you, I miss what I still see/know is there, but its obscured by shit that, unfortunately- tells me I'm gonna keep getting hurt. I'm not trying to "Come back" or "resolve" none of this power play SHIT. I just want to know you HEARD me. That's all.
2024.05.19 07:06 Phantomdog50 To my ex
I’d like to start off by saying I don’t expect a response, but I want to take full responsibility for my many wrongs throughout our relationship and offer the clarity and apology I failed to give you during our breakup. I’ve had time to think about our relationship and realize I at least owe you this.
During our relationship, I was lazy, emotionally unavailable, and failed to give you the support you deserved. I was so selfishly wrapped up in my own life, I didn’t truly acknowledge how little I was putting in and how much it was affecting you. When I should’ve been happy for you hanging out with friends, I made hurtful jokes due to my own insecurities, which put you through completely unnecessary stress and anxiety. When you needed my affection most I couldn’t even display it which must’ve made you feel horrible and so under appreciated. When you actually needed me most, I should’ve been there helping you progress as a person, but instead, I dragged you down, despite you showing me so much affection and support. You deserved so much more than how I treated you, and I should’ve never put you through that much pain and suffering.
No one should ever go through the heartbreak and disrespect I caused you. I’m so sorry for betraying your trust in the many ways that I did. After you trusted me so much to even be your first, I betrayed you because of my stupidly corrupt mind. Even if I didn’t plan on taking further steps, the fact I interacted with her in the first place was a complete betrayal of your trust and betrayal to our relationship. I’ve thought about some things that I believe led me down that path of not only betraying you but my own morals and have completely removed them from my life.
I often was too self-absorbed to even text you when all you were asking was the bare minimum, for me to check in with you throughout the day or text you back while with friends, and it made me realize how much I need to work on myself as a person. Not only work on how I need to treat others, but how I recognize and receive the affection and appreciation others give me so I never make someone feel as undervalued as I made you feel.
I’m writing this to take responsibility and to show the immense shame I feel for myself and my actions. If there was any doubt at all, I want to make it clear that everything was completely my fault. Because of my past experiences, my lack of respect for my time to heal, and my failure to acknowledge my unhealthy habits, I ended up hurting you. When I look back at our relationship, I reminisce about the amazing moments we had, but I am disgusted by the person I became towards the end, and can’t blame you for seeing me the same. I see now I was ignoring all the signs telling me I was doing things wrong out of my own foolishness, thinking that I was at peace.
You were the first person to ever show me unconditional love, and although I didn’t know it until it was too late, it showed me to appreciate everyone in my life while they’re in it as much as possible, because it can change in an instant. When you said, “I know you never said it, but I loved you since before we started dating,” it showed me how broken I really was. You gave me your all, and I couldn’t even recognize that.
After talking to my therapist, I’ve come to find out that I have a really hard time acknowledging and accepting affection because I’ve had a hard time giving it to myself. You treated me like nobody has before, and all I could give back was a half hearted job, broken trust, and had you questioning the reality of our relationship. I’m truly sorry. I wish I had correctly expressed myself during our time together so you knew how much you really meant to me.
The things I said in those messages weren’t my true thoughts or plans about our relationship. In the desperation to escape the situation I created, I said anything I thought might deescalate it. I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t think for a second I wanted to give you up so easily as I did, but I knew after what I did, I was in no position to ask for anything and wasn’t worth going back to as the person I was that day. I know I broke your heart, but if you ever give me the chance, I would spend every day for the rest of my life putting it back together. If you ever feel open to allowing me to show you the person I've been working to become, I think you’d be proud of the progress I’ve made and what’s to come as I don’t plan to stop. Regardless I would be deeply grateful for the opportunity to show you and to listen to your perspective whatever it may be.
I’m currently 45 days free from porn as I partially blame my addiction for my decision making and all drugs so I can be true to myself at all times. I’ve been working day to day to improve myself as a person, from my everyday life to my personal relationships with the ones in my life, with help from a therapist, because I’m serious about my change.
I hope this letter finds you well, if you take anything from this please understand that I’m truly ashamed and sorry for my actions and all the pain I’ve caused you, I’ve genuinely been working my hardest to change as a person, and if not for me, you are worth changing every bit of myself for.
Regardless of what the future holds for us thank you for all the love, support, and happy memories you gave me, and with my most sincere apologies, I’m sorry it ended the way it did and for all the way’s I’ve wronged you.
submitted by Phantomdog50 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
During our relationship, I was lazy, emotionally unavailable, and failed to give you the support you deserved. I was so selfishly wrapped up in my own life, I didn’t truly acknowledge how little I was putting in and how much it was affecting you. When I should’ve been happy for you hanging out with friends, I made hurtful jokes due to my own insecurities, which put you through completely unnecessary stress and anxiety. When you needed my affection most I couldn’t even display it which must’ve made you feel horrible and so under appreciated. When you actually needed me most, I should’ve been there helping you progress as a person, but instead, I dragged you down, despite you showing me so much affection and support. You deserved so much more than how I treated you, and I should’ve never put you through that much pain and suffering.
No one should ever go through the heartbreak and disrespect I caused you. I’m so sorry for betraying your trust in the many ways that I did. After you trusted me so much to even be your first, I betrayed you because of my stupidly corrupt mind. Even if I didn’t plan on taking further steps, the fact I interacted with her in the first place was a complete betrayal of your trust and betrayal to our relationship. I’ve thought about some things that I believe led me down that path of not only betraying you but my own morals and have completely removed them from my life.
I often was too self-absorbed to even text you when all you were asking was the bare minimum, for me to check in with you throughout the day or text you back while with friends, and it made me realize how much I need to work on myself as a person. Not only work on how I need to treat others, but how I recognize and receive the affection and appreciation others give me so I never make someone feel as undervalued as I made you feel.
I’m writing this to take responsibility and to show the immense shame I feel for myself and my actions. If there was any doubt at all, I want to make it clear that everything was completely my fault. Because of my past experiences, my lack of respect for my time to heal, and my failure to acknowledge my unhealthy habits, I ended up hurting you. When I look back at our relationship, I reminisce about the amazing moments we had, but I am disgusted by the person I became towards the end, and can’t blame you for seeing me the same. I see now I was ignoring all the signs telling me I was doing things wrong out of my own foolishness, thinking that I was at peace.
You were the first person to ever show me unconditional love, and although I didn’t know it until it was too late, it showed me to appreciate everyone in my life while they’re in it as much as possible, because it can change in an instant. When you said, “I know you never said it, but I loved you since before we started dating,” it showed me how broken I really was. You gave me your all, and I couldn’t even recognize that.
After talking to my therapist, I’ve come to find out that I have a really hard time acknowledging and accepting affection because I’ve had a hard time giving it to myself. You treated me like nobody has before, and all I could give back was a half hearted job, broken trust, and had you questioning the reality of our relationship. I’m truly sorry. I wish I had correctly expressed myself during our time together so you knew how much you really meant to me.
The things I said in those messages weren’t my true thoughts or plans about our relationship. In the desperation to escape the situation I created, I said anything I thought might deescalate it. I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t think for a second I wanted to give you up so easily as I did, but I knew after what I did, I was in no position to ask for anything and wasn’t worth going back to as the person I was that day. I know I broke your heart, but if you ever give me the chance, I would spend every day for the rest of my life putting it back together. If you ever feel open to allowing me to show you the person I've been working to become, I think you’d be proud of the progress I’ve made and what’s to come as I don’t plan to stop. Regardless I would be deeply grateful for the opportunity to show you and to listen to your perspective whatever it may be.
I’m currently 45 days free from porn as I partially blame my addiction for my decision making and all drugs so I can be true to myself at all times. I’ve been working day to day to improve myself as a person, from my everyday life to my personal relationships with the ones in my life, with help from a therapist, because I’m serious about my change.
I hope this letter finds you well, if you take anything from this please understand that I’m truly ashamed and sorry for my actions and all the pain I’ve caused you, I’ve genuinely been working my hardest to change as a person, and if not for me, you are worth changing every bit of myself for.
Regardless of what the future holds for us thank you for all the love, support, and happy memories you gave me, and with my most sincere apologies, I’m sorry it ended the way it did and for all the way’s I’ve wronged you.
2024.05.19 07:04 ThreeMonthsTooLate [Marvel Comics] Nightcrawler is the Winding Way - Revised
So, I posted this theory a while back but it seems that most people didn’t read through it due to it being too long. So here I am back again with my best to briefly summarize the theory with the major points of evidence from the comics that I have found. It’s still going to be a lot but, hopefully, this will help get the broad idea across. Then if you have any specific points you can hopefully find them answered in the sections beneath it.
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basic Premise~
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?
submitted by ThreeMonthsTooLate to FanTheories [link] [comments]
For context, you only need to read the Basic Premise section to get the basic gist of the theory, all the remaining sections are where I outline the evidence to support it.
~Basic Premise~
Nightcrawler is the Winding Way is basically the idea that X-Men’s Nightcrawler got his soul ripped in half when he was a child by his adopted mother – Margali Szardos – who used the magical half of Kurt’s soul to form the source of her power, the Winding Way.~Part 1 – Margali Szardos is the Worst Adoptive Mother of All Time~
Nightcrawler would have inherited this magical power from Azazel, who he is still technically biologically related to, as well as potentially the combination of genes from Mystique, Destiny, and Baron Wagner.
Amanda Sefton – after seeing Margali use Illyana’s Soul-Sword to obtain power in the Winding Way, took over Limbo to study it before fusing it with Kurt’s soul in the hopes of being able to use the Soul-Sword to undo her mother’s work and restore Kurt to being whole again.
Ultimately, Destiny gave the baby Kurt to Margali knowing full well she would do this to him to hide his true power from Enigma (the Nathaniel Essex that became a Dominion), who she had Kurt concieved in order to defeat.
Additionally, she told Margali of a prophecy about a Soul-Sword falling into Margali’s hands knowing that Margali would attempt to steal Belasco’s Soul-Sword, that Belasco would turn his attention to Nightcrawler to steal that magical power for herself which would result in Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco after he gave up trying to steal the power from Kurt and thus create said Soul-Sword as well as – eventually – the Hope-sword.
Margali Szardos is a powerful witch in Marvel comics who has shown being particularly hungry for magical power – doing everything from manipulating her daughter, Amanda Sefton, into getting her Illyana’s Soul-Sword so that she could use it in a killing spree to obtain magical power from her victims (Excalibur #85), to attempting to steal the power of a demon living under London nearly destroying it in the process (Excalibur #100), to forcibly mind-swapping with her daughter to save herself leaving Amanda to be tortured by Belasco (revealed X-Men: Unlimited #19), opening a magical rift to the World Beyond to obtain its power which forced her daughter to sacrifice herself to close it (4th Nightcrawler series #1-4), to finally selling Nightcrawler out to ORCHIS to obtain the Hope-sword that was lodged in Kurt’s chest (Legion of X #7-10).
All of these villainous actions raise an important question – why did Margali adopt Nightcrawler? After all, it’s not like Margali went around adopting children – only Nightcrawler. In fact, outside of Kurt, the only other child that Margali has ever displayed an interest in obtaining was a young Scarlet Witch (Mystic Arcanum: Scarlet Witch) which is concerning given just how magically powerful Scarlet Witch is.
This all points to the idea that Margali only took Kurt in because she got something out of it – very likely magical power. This wouldn’t be nearly so concerning if Margali Szardos wasn’t also the Sorceress Supreme of one of the most mysterious and unexplained magical systems in all of Marvel.
~Part 2 – The Winding Way is WIERD~
So, I’m just going to come out and say it - the Winding Way makes no sense in the current understanding of magic in Marvel Comics. Even characters like Dr. Strange – one of Marvel’s masters of magic – has basically no idea how the Winding Way actually operates. There is a data page in Legion of X #9 that outlines the basics of what the Winding Way is and how it operates.
According to the data page, the Winding Way is an exocentric magic system – that is to say a form of magic that is powered by an external source to the user – which its various wielders experience cycles of power and powerlessness. As far as characters like Strange are aware, it remains unclear if there is a physical “Way” or if that is simply metaphor.
The strange thing about the Winding Way is that there is no other magical system in Marvel where this cycle of users having powers and being powerless is even a thing. Whenever an exocentrically powered sorcerer loses their powers, it is always a form of punishment. This is true with Dr. Strange when he lost 99% of his powers back during the War of the Seven Spheres story. This is true with Juggernaut who loses his powers whenever he and Cyttorak – the entity that powers the crimson gem that Juggernaut uses for his powers. It’s even true for someone like Thor and his hammer. No where else in Marvel is there a system of magic where cycles of power is a thing.
All of this raises the question of whether the fluctuating cycles of power the Winding Way are actually a natural part of the Winding Way or whether they due to something else – like, say the power source of the Winding Way trying to continuously punish the various practitioners but being unable to due to their attention being split up.
Ultimately, the only truth that we can glean about the Winding Way is that nobody but the practitioners of the Winding Way ultimately know how it works and even then, characters like Margali and Amanda have proven time and again that their word cannot be trusted.
~Part 3 – the Szardos Family, Cthon, & Wundagore Mountain~
Interestingly, a different Sorcerer Supreme Sgt. Sebastian Szardos – the Sorcerer Supreme of World War II – has his own insights about the Winding Way, though they are rather vague. Firstly, in the 8th series of Avengers #50, Sebastian claims that the Winding Way has ties with Mt. Wundagore – which was famously the tomb of Cthon before Scarlet Witch absorbed him. This seems to suggest that the Winding Way originates either via Cthon or his creation – the Darkhold.
What is more interesting is that the Winding Way doesn’t seem to be practiced during the time of the Second World War as Sgt. Szardos states that only his great grandmother on his mothers side even knew about the Winding Way – Sebastian himself clearly wasn’t a practicing member. This is peculiar as Margali Szardos demonstrates an unusual amount of familiarity with the position of Sorcerer Supreme in Uncanny X-Men Annual #4 when she stole the Eye of Agamotto off of Dr. Strange with a mere gesture. Given that Sebastian and Margali share the last name and Sebastian was a known former Sorcerer Supreme while Margali – as far as I can tell – has never been, this would seem to suggest that there is some sort of familial connection between Margali and Sebastian. This in turn seems to suggest that the Winding Way experienced some sort of revival with Margali.
My theory is that the Winding Way started out as a sort of ritual that originated with the Darkhold and was initially practiced by the Szardos family over the centuries to siphon power off of Cthon to keep him in check and imprisoned - hence why there are other Szardos clan members such as Theodosia as shown in that run of Avengers. This would mean that if my theory of Nightcrawler being the Winding Way is true, then it would mean that he is only the current source of the Winding Way.
~Part 4 – Nightcrawler is still related to Azazel (and Azazel is a demon)~
Now a major aspect in this is that Nightcrawler is where exactly would Nightcrawler’s magical powers come from? After all, he’s the son of Mystique and Destiny – two mutants with no sort of magical capabilities, right? Well, that’s… complicated.
Firstly, it’s important to note that the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon is… frankly, not very well thought out. There are a bunch of things that it just gets plain wrong and contradict a bunch of previously established X-Men lore – everything from the fact that Destiny would have been too old to give birth to Nightcrawler, to Rogue’s age being way too young (she was adopted by D&M when she was 13 not 5), to the fact that Mystique canonically cannot mimic mutant x-genes - meaning Nightcrawler shouldn’t have teleportation with this retcon, and much, much more. On top of all that, the fact that the only evidence supporting the idea that it ever even happened is from Mystique and Destiny – two of Marvel’s most notorious liars – and you got yourself an extremely messy and rather dubious retcon.
Putting all that aside, going based on what the retcon has established there are a few ways in which Kurt might have inherited some sort of magical power.
Primarily, Kurt is still technically related to Azazel – yes, Mystique “mimicked” Azazel’s DNA in Kurt’s conception but given that in genetics it is the sequence of DNA that matters and not the source of that sequence, Mystique’s “Mimicked” DNA is still ostensibly Azazel’s DNA. Azazel is an established master of dark magic – specifically soul magic – and used to rule over a legit Hell Dimension during the time of Kurt’s birth – making him a legit hell lord similar to Mephisto or Dormammu. Given that Hell Lords are also considered the Sorcerer Supremes (as in the strongest) of their respective dimension, this would suggest that Azazel once held some major power, regardless of if he’s a demon or not. And as it has been established, magic is inheritable as shown with Clea (the daughter of Umar), Daimon Hellstrom (son of Marduk Kurios), and at least half the cast of Strange Academy, it would stand to reason that Nightcrawler could also inherit magical power from him.
Now, I know what you are saying – “But, Azazel isn’t a demon! Chuck Austen said so!” And while, yes, Chuck Austen has clearly gone on record to say that Azazel is only a demonic looking mutant instead of an actual demon, it’s been kind of invalidated by the thing that every other writer for Azazel – including the likes of Chris Claremont – have referred to Azazel as a demon at least once either on-panel or in interviews. And frankly, there’s nothing in the lore that says that Azazel cannot be both a demon and a mutant – after all, Magik is both a demon and a mutant at the same time. And let’s be real here, Chuck Austen doesn’t deserve nice things when it comes to the X-Men.
However, Azazel is not the only DNA that Mystique apparently mimicked – Baron Christian Wagner was also added onto that list for some reason. This is odd as why would Destiny and Mystique feel the need to include Baron Wagner at all in the genetic makeup of Nightcrawler unless there was something special about the Baron. However, the only uniquely genetic thing we learn about him is that he’s seemingly infertile – which may suggest that there is some sort of genetic anomaly going on with him, such as maybe a repressed X-gene.
~Part 5 – Amanda Sefton/Jimaine Szardos history in Marvel Comics~
Another aspect of this theory is that – if it is true – it suddenly explains a lot of what Kurt’s ex, Amanda Sefton has been doing in comics since she was first introduced in 1976. You see, Amanda Sefton followed Kurt back from Germany and began dating him under a different name – which Kurt was not aware of. She only reveals the truth after the events of Uncanny X-Men Annual #4. This unfortunately supports Kurt’s accusation in Uncanny X-Men #206 that Amanda used a spell to make Kurt fall in love with her to begin with – an accusation which Amanda has never confirmed nor denied.
Amanda’s peculiar behavior continued into Excalibur where she was manipulated by Margali into obtaining Illyana’s Soul-Sword from Kitty Pryde – who had previously given the Soul-Sword to Dr. Doom and then Darkoth, with it returning to her both times. Upon obtaining the Soul-Sword, Margali then used it to go on a killing spree against the other members of the Winding Way to obtain their power for herself. Following this, Margali’s failed attempt to steal the power of a demon beneath London, and Kurt and Margali rescuing Amanda from Belasco after Margali body-swapped with her daughter to save her own skin – Amanda ended up taking over Limbo, supposedly in the name of protecting earth.
However, then we have the smoking gun of Amanda’s meddling – during the 3rd Nightcrawler solo series, it is revealed that Amanda fused the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler without telling him. Her reason for doing so? “To protect the Soul-Sword from falling into the wrong hands.” This lie is so glaringly bad that not even Nightcrawler buys it and he calls Amanda out for not being honest with him.
~Part 6 – Amanda’s Bad Lie and What it Means~
And frankly why would anyone believe Amanda’s claim? Amanda is a sorceress – which means that she is infinitely more qualified than Nightcrawler to keep the Soul-Sword safe than he is. Even if she couldn’t do so, why didn’t she take the Soul-Sword to someone like Dr. Strange?
On top of that, Amanda took the Soul-Sword away from Kitty Pryde claiming that Kitty wasn’t qualified to keep the Soul-Sword safe due to her not being a trained sorceress. Well, guess who’s also not trained in sorcery and thus – by Amanda’s own logic - would not be able to keep the Soul-Sword safe? Nightcrawler.
Except, Kitty technically was able to keep the Soul-Sword out of the wrong hands – back during Excalibur #37 she phased the Soul-Sword into a rock which even Rachel Summers channeling the power of the Phoenix Force was not able to remove it from – it wasn’t removed until Doom came knocking and got Kitty to willingly remove it for him. So why couldn’t Amanda do something similar? Why fuse it with Kurt and endanger him?
And to top it all off, Amanda still needed the Soul-Sword. She was ruling over Limbo – a dangerous hell dimension full of power-hungry demons. Her magical powers are of the Winding Way – meaning that they wax and wane. So quite literally, Amanda needs the Soul-Sword – a weapon which every demon in Limbo fears – to keep herself in power; something which was proven in New X-Men #37 when Belasco walked back into Limbo and ousted her.
~Part 7 – Amanda took over Limbo to learn about the Soul-Sword~
So, what was Amanda really up to? Well, to understand Amanda’s actions in the 3rd Nightcrawler series, we first need to go back to Amanda’s actions in previous series. What’s interesting is that Amanda’s interest in the Soul-Sword was first manifest through Margali – who reveals in Excalibur: Minus One that there is a prophecy that the Soul-Sword would pass first into Margali’s hands and then into Amanda’s hands but would result in both of their dooms.
However, Amanda doesn’t really demonstrate any sort of interest in the Soul-Sword until after Margali used it to obtain power in the Winding Way during Excalibur. While she didn’t get the opportunity to act after the events of Margali’s failed London project due to her mother mind-swapping with her, Amanda’s actions in taking over Limbo after X-Men: Unlimited #19 was more likely due to Amanda wanting to obtain and learn more about the Soul-Sword than about her trying to protect earth.
You see, as Limbo was in no position to even threaten earth until Belasco had obtained the Soul-Sword following Margali ending up there – meaning that if Amanda had simply obtained the Soul-Sword and left Limbo, Limbo would not have been able to endanger Earth. Instead, Amanda stayed. Why? Because if there was anywhere in the universe where you wanted to learn about a Soul-Sword and how it works, Limbo is the dimension to do so.
~Part 8 – Nightcrawler and Magik are… Soulmates?~
So, why did Amanda fuse the Soul-Sword with Nightcrawler? Well, ultimately because a major function of the Soul-Sword is that it can be used as a countercharm which can undo other spells – potentially meaning that Amanda could use it to undo the Winding Way and restore the two halves of Kurt’s soul back together again.
However, another aspect of the Soul-Sword is that it is dangerous to magical creatures and Kurt’s magical soul would already be weakened after years of being separated. Amanda must have figured that if she bonded the non-magical half of Kurt’s soul to the Soul-Sword would allow for her to bypass the more dangerous aspects of the Soul-Sword and allow her to restore Kurt.
And as a result of Amanda’s meddling, when a demonically possessed Pixie ripped the Soul-Sword out of Nightcrawler during X-Infernus, it left behind a void in Kurt’s Soul as established in Legion of X #10, which allowed for the Hopesword to later form. This also seemingly gave Illyana’s Soul-Sword a new ability to damage Techno-Organic beings which it did not possess before. This also means that Nightcrawler and Magik are… soul-mates(?) for the lack of a better term, as they are both bound together through the Soul-Sword after Amanda undid Illyana’s bond with Kitty, though this fact has never been established or confirmed in the comics.
~Part 9 – Destiny caused Magik to be kidnapped by Belasco~
Now, I noted in an earlier section that Margali’s fascination with the Soul-Sword was as a result of a prophecy – one that has at least partially come true. The prophecy as laid out during a flashback in Exalibur: Minus One was that the Soul-Sword would pass from into Margali’s hands and then Amanda’s but would result in both of their dooms. Illyana’s Soul-Sword was indeed obtained by Margali back in Excalibur #85 before she lost it to Belasco after falling to Limbo and the Soul-Sword was obtained again by Amanda after taking Limbo over in X-Men: Unlimited #19.
Now, this whole situation is peculiar as Margali herself is not a precog – outside of this one time, we never even hear her do anything similar ever again. However, we know that Destiny is a precog and we also know that she was the one who gave Kurt to Margali, as per the X-Men Origins: Blue retcon, meaning that this prophecy more than likely originates with Destiny. And really, this shouldn’t be a surprise – Mystique hinted at having some sort of a connection with Margali as far back as UXM #142 when she first met Nightcrawler, it was just never clarified what that connection was.
However, this prophecy would have been given to Margali before the Soul-Sword was ever made and before Illyana was even born, which means that either Destiny could predict Illyana being kidnapped by Belasco and creating the Soul-Sword as a result… or she caused Belasco to kidnap Illyana and create the Soul-Sword as a result.
Now, you may question how that’s even possible? After all, how could Destiny cause someone like Belasco to do something when the two haven’t even canonically met?
Well, for this, I would like to point out the unexplained animosity going on between Margali Szardos and Belasco. This is a rivalry that has been mentioned quite a few times – such as back in Excalibur: Minus One, X-Men: Unlimited #19, and the 3rd Nightcrawler series. For some unexplained reason, Margali Szardos and Belasco have a lot of enmity for one another.
So, what’s the cause of this rivalry? Well, during the Dark Web event, Mary Jane Watson and Black Cat were captured by Belasco and sent to retrieve his Soul-Sword – which, as it is explained in the story is something that Belasco could not potentially use up until the events of Dark Web.
So here’s an idea – what if Destiny didn’t specify which Soul-Sword would end up in Margali’s hands, causing Margali to immediately assume that she was talking about Belasco’s (as that would have been the only one in existence at that point) and try to steal it from him.
This then drew Belasco’s attention and caused him to realize that Nightcrawler was somehow the source of Margali’s powers. This would be why Belasco even had his eyes on the X-Men to begin with and why there was a soulless Nightcrawler back in the original Magik series – Kurt was Belasco’s original target. However, the soulless Nightcrawler and Belasco’s obvious shift in attention to Illyana clearly points to the idea that whatever experiments Belasco tried to use to obtain that magical power from Kurt, it only ended in disaster – causing him to turn to Illyana as a replacement.
~Part 10 – the Big Picture… stopping Enigma~
So, if Destiny was ultimately the cause behind all of this – from orchestrating Kurt’s birth, to handing him off to Margali, to telling Margali the prophecy about the Soul-Sword, what is it all ultimately for?
Well, what it is almost certainly not for is the given answer of defeating Azazel. Simply put, Azazel has never been so major of a threat that creating a super special prophecy child was needed. Heck, he was killed in Dark X-Men by the demonic version of Nightcrawler, so how difficult would it have been for Mystique and Destiny to do it? No, Azazel’s defeat was a bonus that Irene used to justify Kurt’s birth to Raven, not the focus.
Ultimately, there’s only one answer as to who Kurt was conceived to stop – Enigma. The original Nathaniel Essex who transcended space and time and who Irene knew to be an existential threat to all Mutantkind.
This answer even explains some of Irene’s other past actions, such as why she was involved with the Black Womb project – yes, she was keeping an eye on Sinister, but she was also learning as much about the mutant x-gene in preparation for Kurt’s birth.
It also explains why she handed Kurt over to Margali at all – the Winding Way is described in the datapages of Legion of X as being something akin to a No-Place – something that Enigma and other Dominions famously have trouble seeing into. Thus, by hiding Kurt’s magical half in the No-place until the time was right and creating the means by which to release him from that prison, Destiny ensures Enigma’s defeat.
Or does she? Because as far as the current X-Men comics have been going, there is nowhere near the development needed to have my theory take place. At this point, only the Hopesword is established which begs the question of whether the Winding Way is meant to be the thing to stop Enigma or if the Hopesword is. As of this point in X-Men Forever (2024) #4, the Hopesword is what was needed to stop Enigma… for some reason. So far, all that the sword has accomplished is being handed off from Kurt to Exodus to Hope… who was then killed by the Phoenix and sent the Hopesword back to Kurt. We’ll have to wait and see if anything else comes of it.
Personally though, I kind of like the idea that everything Destiny did in orchestrating the creation of the Hopesword and/or the Winding Way was kind of a pointless thing in the end. It’s kind of poignant for Destiny’s character – being the same woman who thought that killing Senator Kelly would prevent the Days of Future’s Past Timeline when she was in fact going to cause that very timeline to happen – to have all her manipulations and schemes to create this weapon against the existential threat that Enigma presented… only to have that threat be dealt with in some other way, leaving Irene to deal with the consequences of her own actions and question whether it was worth putting Kurt through all of that. Maybe that’s just me though.
Conclusion
So yeah, that’s most of the evidence supporting this theory. There are a few other things – such as Margali potentially being the reason why Kurt was killed during Second Coming and potentially causing his mental break down during the Extraordinary X-Men story, but those are more auxiliary to these major points.
But yeah, let me know what you guys think down below. Do you think this theory is onto something or is it way off base?
2024.05.19 07:04 Count-Daring243 Best Cantilever Scope Mount
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/87klwydefb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b2dac7aa46aad049ce48a887be890c1593ca8af Get ready to take your shooting experience to the next level with our roundup of the top Cantilever Scope Mounts on the market! In this article, we'll showcase a variety of high-quality Cantilever Scope Mounts that are sure to impress even the most discerning shooters. From sleek designs to rock-solid construction, these mounts will give you the stability and accuracy you need to make every shot count. The Top 16 Best Cantilever Scope Mount
Reviews🔗45-Degree Offset Rail Mount for Tactical Accessorieshttps://preview.redd.it/1qv4487ffb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c185a7a883221f5e54a5d4cd463ddeb3ccc5b5c9 Imagine you're in the heat of the moment, aiming down the sights of your rifle, trying to take out a target from around the corner. This is where the NcSTAR Mount shines. Its 45-degree offset angle allows you to mount your lasers, flashlights, or red dot sights at just the right angle for a clear view down the barrel. The offset canted design of the mount adds a level of versatility that's not often found in other mounts. It eliminates interference with vertical grips, hand guards, optics, and other accessories, making it perfect for a wide range of uses. Plus, the ergonomic design gives easy access to on/off switches for your accessories, which is a game-changer when you're in the thick of it. But let's not forget the solid construction. The NcSTAR Mount is made from hard-anodized aluminum, which not only adds strength to the mount but also makes it resistant to corrosion. And the single-slotted thumb nut secures the mount to Weaver Style or Picatinny rails quickly and easily. The NcSTAR Mount isn't just a device, it's a tool that could give you the edge you need in tense situations. It's a reliable, solid piece of equipment that's easy to use and a pleasure to work with. And the reviews from other users certainly back this up - they've praised its quality, price, and performance. So, if you're looking for a reliable, dependable, and versatile mount, the NcSTAR Mount is definitely worth considering. 🔗Specialized Swat Black Computer Mount for Lightweight SWAT Tool Kithttps://preview.redd.it/gyquk4gffb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0effe1425fe61e271ba54db1690c582fb5e96928 I had the chance to try out the Granite Tool Design Scope Computer Mount, specifically made for Specialized SWAT Black bikes. When I first received it, I was intrigued by how lightweight this mount was, weighing just 15g. It certainly didn't slow me down during my rides. One of the unique features of this mount is that it's easy to install at home without needing any specialist tools. Plus, it didn't interfere with the SWAT system, which is a definite plus! However, one downside I noticed was the compatibility - it's only made for Specialized bikes with the SWAT concealed transport tool kit. Overall, the Granite Tool Design Scope Computer Mount is a good choice for those looking for a lightweight, easy-to-install mount for their computer on their Specialized bike. If you don't fit the compatibility criteria, it might not be worth it for you. 🔗Anodized Flat Dark Earth Reptilia AUS Offset Mount for Aimpoint ARCO 100-230https://preview.redd.it/qcrlfnwffb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=619f9a7f8577025b5522d34d3c7919ddedfa24be The Reptilia aus Offset MNT Acro FDE 100-230 is a sleek and durable scope mount that has made an impact in my daily shooting routine. This anodized finish, flat dark earth unit fits snugly on my beloved Aimpoint ARCO 100-230. The versatility it brings to the table makes my aim more precise and stable. One of the best aspects is the offset positioning of the mount that allows for increased accuracy and ease of use. This product surely adds value to the gear arsenal of Remington 870 users, helping them make swift and precise shots. It's not all ups though. The slightly higher price point can be a deterrent for some, but in my experience, the high quality and durability it provides justifies the investment. It's a reliable, solid piece of equipment that elevates the shooting experience in a unique way. 🔗High-Quality Finder Scope Base for Essential Series Telescopeshttps://preview.redd.it/eorn5a5gfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96c7c951a08fd3935806188eb39f36c461f2a21c As a devoted stargazer, I found myself in need of an efficient and reliable finder scope to enhance my telescope experience. Upon trying out the Explore Scientific T-Shaped Finder Scope Base, which I affectionately refer to as the Essential Finder Base, I was truly impressed by its performance. First and foremost, the base is incredibly user-friendly. The easy-to-install design allowed me to swiftly mount the finder scope to my telescope without any hassle. The sturdy construction ensures a secure connection, providing peace of mind during my celestial adventures. One highlight that truly stands out is the compact size. With its dimensions of 50mm in length and 51mm in width, this base seamlessly fits a variety of telescope configurations. The lightweight nature, weighing just 1.29 oz, adds to its convenience. While the base performed brilliantly in most aspects, I did notice a slight inconvenience. The screws provided were decent, but I found myself wishing for a more robust solution to prevent any potential slippage. Overall, the Explore Scientific T-Shaped Finder Scope Base has been a valuable addition to my telescope setup, proving to be both functional and convenient. Despite the minor drawback, I wholeheartedly recommend this sturdy finder base to fellow enthusiasts seeking to enhance their stargazing experience. 🔗Explore Scientific Mini Scope Mount for Telescopeshttps://preview.redd.it/oek6oaigfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c7d4d7b7a6cfa846c5eda7b351dc463151d454e As a stargazing enthusiast, I recently tried the Explore Scientific Finder Scope Base and was astounded by how convenient and reliable it was. It's the perfect addition to any telescope, providing a stable base for mounting the finder scope of your choice. The highlight of this product, for me, was the ease of installation. It literally took me a few minutes to set it up, thanks to the provided mounting screws. The knurled knobs on the base really make locking the finder into place a breeze. However, it's not all smooth sailing. One inconvenience was the lack of lock washers in the box which, although not a deal-breaker, would have been a nice addition for added security. Overall, the Explore Scientific Finder Scope Base was a pleasant surprise in terms of functionality and ease. Despite a minor hiccup, it's a winner in my book for those who enjoy stargazing and want their equipment to be secure and robust. 🔗Reptilia Flat Dark Earth 34mm Mini 14 Scope Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/vm4idowgfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c15a01befbfa1f00627695155d939f46ef1f24dc I recently had the opportunity to try out the Reptilia Aus Mount, a 34mm scope mount with a Flat Dark Earth finish. This bad boy boasts an anodized finish that adds a touch of durability and style to your setup. The mount is designed for a bore height of 100-155, making it a versatile choice for various rifles. Using the Reptilia Aus Mount in my daily life has been a breeze. The sleek design fits seamlessly with my Mini 14 setup, and the secure locking mechanism ensures that the scope stays firmly in place. One thing that stood out to me was the anodized finish, which not only looks great but also provides protection against the elements. However, there were a couple of minor drawbacks. Firstly, the installation process could have been a bit easier, especially for beginners. And secondly, the price point might be a bit steep for some users. All in all, if you're looking for a high-quality scope mount with a stylish finish and great durability, the Reptilia Aus Mount is definitely worth considering. Just make sure you're comfortable with the installation process and are willing to invest in a top-tier product. 🔗Versatile 35mm Adjustable Scope Mount from Reptiliahttps://preview.redd.it/5hg8yi7hfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=583cda365fe704c8959c5c034f4e75b38137a7c8 I've had the pleasure of trying out the Reptilia AUS Mount for my 30mm diameter magnified optics, and I must say, it's an impressive piece of equipment. This 35mm Mount, with an anodized finish and compatibility with all of Reptilia's 30mm ROF line, has added a touch of elegance to my optical setup. I was particularly drawn to its custom bolt mounting system, which can be tightened using either a 5/32 hex or a flat blade driver. This feature allows the AUS Mount to sit snugly on the M1913 Picatinny rail, giving it a streamlined low-profile design. One aspect of the AUS Mount that I found truly remarkable was its machining from a single piece of billet 7075-T6 aluminum, combined with the MIL-STD Type III, Class 2, hard anodize coating. Not only does it make for a high-quality material but also adds durability to the product. However, one thing I noticed was that the AUS Mount was slightly trickier to install and remove from the M1913 Picatinny rail than I initially expected. But overall, the Reptilia AUS Mount's adjustable features and robust construction definitely make it worth considering for anyone looking to enhance their optical setup. 🔗High-Precision Equatorial Goto Mount for Astrophotography and Celestial Observationhttps://preview.redd.it/coimtcjhfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0207555e93f0325fe1136f6d9daac24ad47303e7 I've had the pleasure of getting my hands on the Vixen Sphinx SXD2 Equatorial Goto Mount with PF-L Pole Viewfinder, and I must say I'm quite impressed. The mount offers a smooth and seamless experience thanks to its precision stepper motors and micro-step motion control system. Plus, the built-in bearings and high-precision worm gears simply add to the quality of this product. However, I did notice a couple of drawbacks. The weight of the counterweights might be a bit disappointing for some, and I'd have liked to see a full cable included instead of an auto lighter one. All in all, it's a solid choice for stargazers and astrophotographers seeking accurate and reliable tracking. 🔗Unity FDE Offset Base Fast Optic Adapterhttps://preview.redd.it/qqwik11ifb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=631f1ccff586bbec34c5e4f1a809cc9dbcc62b97 After trying out Unity Tactical's FAST Offset Base FDE, I quickly found myself appreciating the versatility it offered. The offset design allowed me to keep my focus on target acquisition without obstructing my view, something I sorely needed in my day-to-day hunting. What really stood out to me was the compatibility with UNITY's LPVO mounts. It made adjusting my scope a breeze and allowed me to fine-tune my shot more easily. However, I did notice that it required UNITY-specific optic plates, which added a layer of confusion and potential compatibility issues. Despite its minor drawbacks, the UNITY FAST Offset Base FDE proved to be a reliable and effective accessory in my arsenal. It allowed me to focus on the task at hand, all while maintaining a comfortable grip on my weapon for faster and more accurate shots. 🔗Adjustable Star Adventurer GTI Mount Kit for Astrophotographyhttps://preview.redd.it/0ymoye9ifb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d52a9544e452443bfc0acbd67bd1fb19c8848677 As an astrophotography enthusiast, I had the opportunity to use the Sky-Watcher Star Adventurer GTi Mount Kit in my daily life. Right out of the box, I was impressed by its sleek and sturdy construction. The built-in illuminated polar scope made aligning the mount a breeze, while the dual position counterweight allowed me to handle low latitudes with ease. One of the standout features for me was the smartphone Wi-Fi control, which let me have full command over the device using my smartphone. However, I did encounter some minor software glitches, which required a bit of troubleshooting. The device's versatility in tracking rates caught my attention, particularly the lunar, solar, and sidereal options. This made capturing the night sky's wonders a truly effortless experience. The 11-pound payload capacity also proved to be more than sufficient for my various equipment setups. However, there were a few areas where the Star Adventurer GTi fell short. The mount's intermittent disconnecting, whether using Wi-Fi or USB, introduced some frustration. Additionally, the Dec tracking was far from ideal, which I had to address by tweaking polar alignment and dialing in PHD2 parameters. Despite these minor issues, I had a mostly positive experience with the Sky-Watcher Star Adventurer GTi Mount Kit. Its combination of features, ease of use, and reasonable price make it an impressive choice for those looking to dive into deep space, widefield, and nightscape astrophotography. 🔗Versatile Spotting Scope Clamp for Precision Viewinghttps://preview.redd.it/ojdr1jnifb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be70613f8f61c770129fd141c271e0dd53bb2b89 I recently gave the Table Clamp Mount for Spotting Scope a try, and I have to say, it's been a game-changer for my outdoor activities. This sturdy clamp works great with all popular spotting scopes, allowing me to set it up at the range in no time. Its heavy-duty construction and comfortable, ergonomic knob make it a breeze to tighten and loosen. The Enduro Series Arm, featuring an aluminum construction and multiple ball joints, provides unlimited positioning possibilities. But don't worry about scratching your expensive gear – the clamp comes equipped with a rubber pad to minimize scuffing. Plus, the standard tripod connection can be used with more than just cameras, adding even more versatility to this fantastic tool. The quick-tightening ring ensures a secure hold, giving you that extra peace of mind. In my experience, this clamp has been incredibly user-friendly and holds up well to regular use. The customer service was prompt and helpful, too, ensuring that any issues were resolved immediately. Overall, I highly recommend this Table Clamp Mount for Spotting Scope to anyone looking for a reliable and versatile mounting solution for their spotting scope or other equipment. Buyer's GuideCantilever scope mounts are crucial accessories for anyone using a rifle scope. They provide a stable and secure connection between the scope and the firearm, and they come in various designs to suit different scope styles and gun types. In this buyer's guide, we will discuss the essential features, considerations, and general advice for selecting the best cantilever scope mount for your needs. https://preview.redd.it/lr6kn7flfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b49dc8131a27fb0fb05f930c43701d1794133bc0 Important Features
Considerations
https://preview.redd.it/7dmof1rlfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b131087cb15520bfb003638a459a3448389f8af General Advice
FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/9wxmwu5mfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05a6df5a75f411bd33a269d639a293766e83ef77 What is a Cantilever Scope Mount?A Cantilever Scope Mount is a type of mount designed to secure and hold a scoped weapon or firearm steady, providing a stable platform for accurate shooting. It extends away from the rifle, allowing for optimal eye relief and compatibility with a wide range of scopes and firearm designs.Who needs a Cantilever Scope Mount?Hunters, shooters, and firearms enthusiasts who use scoped rifles or firearms, particularly those with adjustable scopes, can benefit from using a Cantilever Scope Mount. It offers increased flexibility and accuracy, making it especially useful for long-range shooting and hunting. https://preview.redd.it/iwllj8kmfb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f91a8f1ddab8fca67405be9f2c53d10996dd9ac What are the benefits of using a Cantilever Scope Mount?
What materials are Cantilever Scope Mounts typically made from?Cantilever Scope Mounts can be made from various materials, such as aluminum, steel, or polymer. Aluminum and steel options tend to be more durable and robust, while polymer options are often lighter weight and more affordable.What are the key features to consider when selecting a Cantilever Scope Mount?
Which brands offer high-quality Cantilever Scope Mounts?Some popular brands known for producing high-quality Cantilever Scope Mounts include Warne, American Defense Manufacturing (ADM), and Atlas P AccuMount. Researching customer reviews and checking product specifications can also help identify reliable and trusted brands.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 07:04 Ok_Start1379 Do you think therapy can help me (27F) and my (ex)fiancé (28M) repair our relationship?
My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
submitted by Ok_Start1379 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
2024.05.19 07:03 Skyknighter AITA for keeping lewd anime stickers on my PS5's shell?
This is likely one of the weirdest posts I've ever felt compelled to make on Reddit. Additionally, please understand that I am Autistic, so the way I communicate this may seem a bit off or discombobulated in places.
I (25M) recently just finished the spring semester at my local university and have moved out of the dormitory and back into my mother's home for the summer (still looking for jobs, no luck so far), and I got into a disagreement with my mother and her boyfriend surrounding my placing a bunch of lewd anime lady stickers all over the left shell of my PS5. It wasn't heated by any means, but more of an interesting and slightly humorous debate.
It started out with me laying in bed, nearly falling asleep after clearing out and organizing my sizable closet, which was filled to the brim with English papers (English major) from my previous semesters as well as plenty of books and bags and several loose articles of clothing (this isn't pertinent to the main point, but let's just say living in the dorms gave me a very strong reality check of the importance of cleanliness - when I came back, I was like "oh my god I've been LIVING in this???"), but I digress. My mom walked into my room, while I was near passed out, saying "what are you doing?" because I was laying on my stomach with my head dangling over the side of the bed. I shot my head up, and said "huh? I was resting my eyes after cleaning out my closet", and she tells me that she made some waffles and proceeds to set them down at my work desk. Before she leaves, though, she says "gross" quietly to herself before walking out of the room. At first I was too groggy to think about it, but when I overheard the word "stickers" in her conversation with her boyfriend my mind was like "oh no". Embarassed and nervous much like a child is when they've been caught doing something they shouldn't be, I peek my head out into the kitchen where my mom and her guy are talking and inquire as to why she thought the stickers were gross.
My mom smiled humorously, before saying that it was "just kind of weird" that I had so many risque anime girls on my PS5. I felt compelled to defend the two-dimensional pieces of paper (likely because they came from anime conventions, and were not cheap as far as stickers go), so I asked what made them gross.
My mom went on to say that it potentially implied that I was the kind of guy who was addicted to wacking it, but also said she understood it because I'm a young adult who hasn't dated in a while. For the record, my mother is a very down to earth woman - she's the kind of mom who humorously asked me if I needed condoms when a girl delivered apple pie to our house during my sophomore year in high school, so this use of language was normal between us. She then said to me that it wasn't "wrong", but just gross from "her own personal perspective", saying that when I get a girlfriend, she'll likely not want to see those stickers.
Now, I'm not interested in relationships right now, primarily because, as I said, I'm Autistic. My ability to communicate and my overall social skills in comprehending and deciphering social cues is almost non-existent, so I tend to just keep everyone around me in the friendzone. However, I understand that, so long as I keep socializing as normal, I'm eventually going to run into a woman that clicks with me. My mother and her boyfriend went on to tell me that societal expectations placed on women can lead to women viewing such stickers to feel inadequte, but I said that any women who looks at a lewd Japanese cartoon character and finds themselves inadequate is insecure - and I didn't want to date insecure. They then said that most women are insecure, and that the potential girlfriend that I get together with will likely want the stickers to be done away with.
I told them I'm attracted to women who, put simply, don't give a fuck. They are confident in themselves, know what they want, and don't let something as trivial as anime girl stickers make them feel inadequate. I'm a chunky guy, I don't fit the description of the lean, mean, and proteined muscle men out there, and I don't feel inadequate as a result, so what's the harm? Are these stickers potentially harmful to future relationships I get into? Am I the asshole for keeping them around as I am now? Would I be the asshole for keeping them when I start dating?
submitted by Skyknighter to AITAH [link] [comments]
I (25M) recently just finished the spring semester at my local university and have moved out of the dormitory and back into my mother's home for the summer (still looking for jobs, no luck so far), and I got into a disagreement with my mother and her boyfriend surrounding my placing a bunch of lewd anime lady stickers all over the left shell of my PS5. It wasn't heated by any means, but more of an interesting and slightly humorous debate.
It started out with me laying in bed, nearly falling asleep after clearing out and organizing my sizable closet, which was filled to the brim with English papers (English major) from my previous semesters as well as plenty of books and bags and several loose articles of clothing (this isn't pertinent to the main point, but let's just say living in the dorms gave me a very strong reality check of the importance of cleanliness - when I came back, I was like "oh my god I've been LIVING in this???"), but I digress. My mom walked into my room, while I was near passed out, saying "what are you doing?" because I was laying on my stomach with my head dangling over the side of the bed. I shot my head up, and said "huh? I was resting my eyes after cleaning out my closet", and she tells me that she made some waffles and proceeds to set them down at my work desk. Before she leaves, though, she says "gross" quietly to herself before walking out of the room. At first I was too groggy to think about it, but when I overheard the word "stickers" in her conversation with her boyfriend my mind was like "oh no". Embarassed and nervous much like a child is when they've been caught doing something they shouldn't be, I peek my head out into the kitchen where my mom and her guy are talking and inquire as to why she thought the stickers were gross.
My mom smiled humorously, before saying that it was "just kind of weird" that I had so many risque anime girls on my PS5. I felt compelled to defend the two-dimensional pieces of paper (likely because they came from anime conventions, and were not cheap as far as stickers go), so I asked what made them gross.
My mom went on to say that it potentially implied that I was the kind of guy who was addicted to wacking it, but also said she understood it because I'm a young adult who hasn't dated in a while. For the record, my mother is a very down to earth woman - she's the kind of mom who humorously asked me if I needed condoms when a girl delivered apple pie to our house during my sophomore year in high school, so this use of language was normal between us. She then said to me that it wasn't "wrong", but just gross from "her own personal perspective", saying that when I get a girlfriend, she'll likely not want to see those stickers.
Now, I'm not interested in relationships right now, primarily because, as I said, I'm Autistic. My ability to communicate and my overall social skills in comprehending and deciphering social cues is almost non-existent, so I tend to just keep everyone around me in the friendzone. However, I understand that, so long as I keep socializing as normal, I'm eventually going to run into a woman that clicks with me. My mother and her boyfriend went on to tell me that societal expectations placed on women can lead to women viewing such stickers to feel inadequte, but I said that any women who looks at a lewd Japanese cartoon character and finds themselves inadequate is insecure - and I didn't want to date insecure. They then said that most women are insecure, and that the potential girlfriend that I get together with will likely want the stickers to be done away with.
I told them I'm attracted to women who, put simply, don't give a fuck. They are confident in themselves, know what they want, and don't let something as trivial as anime girl stickers make them feel inadequate. I'm a chunky guy, I don't fit the description of the lean, mean, and proteined muscle men out there, and I don't feel inadequate as a result, so what's the harm? Are these stickers potentially harmful to future relationships I get into? Am I the asshole for keeping them around as I am now? Would I be the asshole for keeping them when I start dating?
2024.05.19 07:02 WaitingForTheBus_ Really bad experience with chihuahua breeder
Long post, sorry.
Be patient with me- My previous dog, I found wandering around a parking lot, so this is my first time purchasing a dog, and I’m afraid I might have encountered a backyard breeder (although it’s hard for me to tell, I’m not good at determining a good breeder from a bad one).
She had her dogs listed on puppies.com, and I wasn’t planning on even getting a dog. I honestly was just scrolling because my old dog passed away this year and I’ve been extremely depressed without him, so looking at pictures of other dogs sometimes cheers me up a little.
Then I stumbled across a puppy that stopped me in my tracks because he looked so similar to my old dog. I contacted the breeder and asked about him. She told me he’s 16 weeks and she really wants to sell him with his brother, but would be willing to to sell just one.
I didn’t know anything about littermate syndrome and thought separating two dogs she said were bonded would cause them anxiety, so I told her I’d get both and put a $500 deposit. She texted me that they are up to date on their shots.
Then, I started doing research on how to potty train two dogs at once, and every single article I read said not to get two puppies from the same litter.
I called back the breeder and expressed my concerns, and told her because of my research, I will only be getting one dog. She got extremely mad and told me she already posted on social media that both have found a home. She then told me that chihuahuas are dogs that need to be with other dogs in the house, and people who have only got one dog from her call her back all the time telling her they wished they had listened and gotten 2. She was throwing so much information at me, telling me how she has sold 2 all the time and not one dog has ever developed littermate syndrome. I told her I’d call her back in the morning with my decision, even though I’d already made up my mind on getting just one. I just wanted to ease the tension.
The next day, I called her back and said I’d only be getting one, and that I was not willing to debate the issue any further because the research was clear. Then, despite me already putting the deposit down, she told me she’s going to call someone else first to see if they’ll take both dogs before she’d give just the one to me.
Later she texted and said the person was not willing, so I could have just the one. To me, this proved she was motivated solely by profit, because if she truly believed that they need to be together, she would’ve never backed off in the span on 24 hours. I proceeded to tell her that I felt disrespected by the way she spoke to me, and threw her logic right back at her, saying that I could l not in good conscience take just the one if all that she said yesterday was true.
Note: I have a speech impediment. It’s very noticeable. And she noticed, and interpreted I guess as me being autistic. She texted me that she could tell I’m on the spectrum (which I’m not at all), and told me “I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to belittle you. You’re in flight or fight mode.”
Other red flags about this breeder. She has numerous litters. She has puppies that are 15 weeks, 4 weeks, and 3 weeks. She has blue merle chihuahuas. She told me that dogs on medications only live 8-9 years, that heartworm prevention meds kill their livers and kidneys and to not let my vet push any more vaccines on then then the ones they’ve received. She also heavily pushed back when I told her I plan to crate train.
Looking back, I feel bad about myself that I even contacted her to begin with. It was absolutely against my better judgment and a decision made purely on the emotion of missing my old dog. Not going to lie though, I do feel really hurt by the whole thing and it’s made me nervous about ever getting another dog.
Note to add: I check my shelter on a regular basis. Unfortunately 95% of the dogs in the shelter near me are pit bulls or shepherds. Nothing against those breeds, but I’m scared of all big dogs after an attack when I was young and love chihuahuas. I’ve always heard chis and chi mixes are popular at shelters, but I’ve never seen one in mine, and that’s the breed I want
submitted by WaitingForTheBus_ to Chihuahua [link] [comments]
Be patient with me- My previous dog, I found wandering around a parking lot, so this is my first time purchasing a dog, and I’m afraid I might have encountered a backyard breeder (although it’s hard for me to tell, I’m not good at determining a good breeder from a bad one).
She had her dogs listed on puppies.com, and I wasn’t planning on even getting a dog. I honestly was just scrolling because my old dog passed away this year and I’ve been extremely depressed without him, so looking at pictures of other dogs sometimes cheers me up a little.
Then I stumbled across a puppy that stopped me in my tracks because he looked so similar to my old dog. I contacted the breeder and asked about him. She told me he’s 16 weeks and she really wants to sell him with his brother, but would be willing to to sell just one.
I didn’t know anything about littermate syndrome and thought separating two dogs she said were bonded would cause them anxiety, so I told her I’d get both and put a $500 deposit. She texted me that they are up to date on their shots.
Then, I started doing research on how to potty train two dogs at once, and every single article I read said not to get two puppies from the same litter.
I called back the breeder and expressed my concerns, and told her because of my research, I will only be getting one dog. She got extremely mad and told me she already posted on social media that both have found a home. She then told me that chihuahuas are dogs that need to be with other dogs in the house, and people who have only got one dog from her call her back all the time telling her they wished they had listened and gotten 2. She was throwing so much information at me, telling me how she has sold 2 all the time and not one dog has ever developed littermate syndrome. I told her I’d call her back in the morning with my decision, even though I’d already made up my mind on getting just one. I just wanted to ease the tension.
The next day, I called her back and said I’d only be getting one, and that I was not willing to debate the issue any further because the research was clear. Then, despite me already putting the deposit down, she told me she’s going to call someone else first to see if they’ll take both dogs before she’d give just the one to me.
Later she texted and said the person was not willing, so I could have just the one. To me, this proved she was motivated solely by profit, because if she truly believed that they need to be together, she would’ve never backed off in the span on 24 hours. I proceeded to tell her that I felt disrespected by the way she spoke to me, and threw her logic right back at her, saying that I could l not in good conscience take just the one if all that she said yesterday was true.
Note: I have a speech impediment. It’s very noticeable. And she noticed, and interpreted I guess as me being autistic. She texted me that she could tell I’m on the spectrum (which I’m not at all), and told me “I’m not your enemy. I’m not trying to belittle you. You’re in flight or fight mode.”
Other red flags about this breeder. She has numerous litters. She has puppies that are 15 weeks, 4 weeks, and 3 weeks. She has blue merle chihuahuas. She told me that dogs on medications only live 8-9 years, that heartworm prevention meds kill their livers and kidneys and to not let my vet push any more vaccines on then then the ones they’ve received. She also heavily pushed back when I told her I plan to crate train.
Looking back, I feel bad about myself that I even contacted her to begin with. It was absolutely against my better judgment and a decision made purely on the emotion of missing my old dog. Not going to lie though, I do feel really hurt by the whole thing and it’s made me nervous about ever getting another dog.
Note to add: I check my shelter on a regular basis. Unfortunately 95% of the dogs in the shelter near me are pit bulls or shepherds. Nothing against those breeds, but I’m scared of all big dogs after an attack when I was young and love chihuahuas. I’ve always heard chis and chi mixes are popular at shelters, but I’ve never seen one in mine, and that’s the breed I want
2024.05.19 07:00 minnel567 Want to talk about this Isekai that is underrated but is actually good
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5534co/
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/re-tale-of-a-hero/
https://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=141085
I don't really post much but I just want to know if someone in this sub already read about this isekai which for me one of the decent ones out there unfortunately it's not much translated.
It's a WN and have more than 2k chapters of main story and 1k+ chapters of sidestory back in earth.
Genre:Isekai,Harem,Fantasy,Scifi,Tragedy?(Flash back),PoV,Mystery
Main plot A whole school is transported to another world with our mc in it. Surprisingly enough all amenities are still working including water, electricity and sewage. People don't just get powers yhough amd yhey need to learn things to survive. The twist is the MC actually already get isekaid in this world , he even brought the former demon lord with him and is disguising as a student(she's his lover and she's not the only one)and is thinking of going back after creating the magic to do so, he thought it's a little bit early but surprised that he is transported back 500 years in the future. He now plans on guiding the whole school to survive in the background while hiding his powers, that mind you he doesn't really mind if discovered but it's easier for him if they don't know much about it( chaos will ensue if they think he can bring them home just because his op)
Characters: You can check the characters here but I'll mainly talk about MC Kaito Amane, the MC, normaly is a chill dude and level headed his your typical normal black haired mc the only difference is his been describe to be handsome instead of the usual loser mc has a circle of friends but is not one of those every body in school knows him type of popular. That is until he stops restricting his magic then he becomes brash and a little bit arrogant but not the douche type arrogant, just the confident one , he also is a battle maniac even if he doesn't want to admit it, and surprisingly this is actually his real personality the reason for him being so calm and collected type or quite type in his suppressed state is because mana is directly link to the psyche and suppressing it also suppresses his emotions or atleast lessen it.
Socially the guy know how to make friends, he hates slavers to his core (because of past experience) and think owning a slave is one of the worst thing a human can do(depending on how the slave state though , he understood that slaves can only survive as slave sometimes). On the Harem aspect of the story the guy is a chad , no rape (there's just that one time when schatach rape him because she's stronger that time), he don't engage sexual activities with minor(his older than he looks but there's a reason why he still go to highschool) and he does his best to givr time to each other harem mems(going on date and hanging out not just sex) and most of his relationships are actually just natural. Aside from that his a solid homie and us actually wingmans some other guy friends too.
The Story Story is freaking long, and slow burn fights Don't happened much but interactions are gold, when there's fights though it's actually epic and the power system is mwah frech kiss( I won't spoil this because this is one of the best parts although the different power systems are laid slowly). It has different PoVs and The MC don't just steam roll the problems and it make sense, the characters are very distinct to each other and have their own personalities. This WN have other guys not just the MC and not just MC harem and not everyone falls inlove with the mc. Something funny is that one classmate has his own unwanted harem and Kaito gets a feeling of comraderie( Kaito is not supposed to have a harem at first but the other worlds sense of value and sense of duty leads him to having one). Andy favorite part of the story os unveiling Kaitos past because every new thing we learned about Kaito new questions pops up. The story is also linked to earth which is cool. The PoV changes is one thing I enjoyed to here the PoVs are not meant to show the mcs opness (only sometimes) but to build the world to others eyes or just to show their daily life. The tone can change from a drop of a dime at one time it's fun and all and yhe next time you know theres death. The world itself is intriguing and the history for the 500 years that has beem skip is one of the biggest mystery in the story.
I think that's the point I caan think for now. I love it and the author is releasing regularly theres even a yime that he releases 3 chaps a day. It's a solid story that every isekai lover will love( I think ?)so give it a try.
submitted by minnel567 to Isekai [link] [comments]
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/re-tale-of-a-hero/
https://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=141085
I don't really post much but I just want to know if someone in this sub already read about this isekai which for me one of the decent ones out there unfortunately it's not much translated.
It's a WN and have more than 2k chapters of main story and 1k+ chapters of sidestory back in earth.
Genre:Isekai,Harem,Fantasy,Scifi,Tragedy?(Flash back),PoV,Mystery
Main plot A whole school is transported to another world with our mc in it. Surprisingly enough all amenities are still working including water, electricity and sewage. People don't just get powers yhough amd yhey need to learn things to survive. The twist is the MC actually already get isekaid in this world , he even brought the former demon lord with him and is disguising as a student(she's his lover and she's not the only one)and is thinking of going back after creating the magic to do so, he thought it's a little bit early but surprised that he is transported back 500 years in the future. He now plans on guiding the whole school to survive in the background while hiding his powers, that mind you he doesn't really mind if discovered but it's easier for him if they don't know much about it( chaos will ensue if they think he can bring them home just because his op)
Characters: You can check the characters here but I'll mainly talk about MC Kaito Amane, the MC, normaly is a chill dude and level headed his your typical normal black haired mc the only difference is his been describe to be handsome instead of the usual loser mc has a circle of friends but is not one of those every body in school knows him type of popular. That is until he stops restricting his magic then he becomes brash and a little bit arrogant but not the douche type arrogant, just the confident one , he also is a battle maniac even if he doesn't want to admit it, and surprisingly this is actually his real personality the reason for him being so calm and collected type or quite type in his suppressed state is because mana is directly link to the psyche and suppressing it also suppresses his emotions or atleast lessen it.
Socially the guy know how to make friends, he hates slavers to his core (because of past experience) and think owning a slave is one of the worst thing a human can do(depending on how the slave state though , he understood that slaves can only survive as slave sometimes). On the Harem aspect of the story the guy is a chad , no rape (there's just that one time when schatach rape him because she's stronger that time), he don't engage sexual activities with minor(his older than he looks but there's a reason why he still go to highschool) and he does his best to givr time to each other harem mems(going on date and hanging out not just sex) and most of his relationships are actually just natural. Aside from that his a solid homie and us actually wingmans some other guy friends too.
The Story Story is freaking long, and slow burn fights Don't happened much but interactions are gold, when there's fights though it's actually epic and the power system is mwah frech kiss( I won't spoil this because this is one of the best parts although the different power systems are laid slowly). It has different PoVs and The MC don't just steam roll the problems and it make sense, the characters are very distinct to each other and have their own personalities. This WN have other guys not just the MC and not just MC harem and not everyone falls inlove with the mc. Something funny is that one classmate has his own unwanted harem and Kaito gets a feeling of comraderie( Kaito is not supposed to have a harem at first but the other worlds sense of value and sense of duty leads him to having one). Andy favorite part of the story os unveiling Kaitos past because every new thing we learned about Kaito new questions pops up. The story is also linked to earth which is cool. The PoV changes is one thing I enjoyed to here the PoVs are not meant to show the mcs opness (only sometimes) but to build the world to others eyes or just to show their daily life. The tone can change from a drop of a dime at one time it's fun and all and yhe next time you know theres death. The world itself is intriguing and the history for the 500 years that has beem skip is one of the biggest mystery in the story.
I think that's the point I caan think for now. I love it and the author is releasing regularly theres even a yime that he releases 3 chaps a day. It's a solid story that every isekai lover will love( I think ?)so give it a try.
2024.05.19 06:59 Stormtempter [FNV] TTW crashing with AWOP locations
Hello all, I wanted to give the games a go again and came across the Tale of Two Wastelands guide The Best of Times, as well as the Wasteland Survival Guide for additional mods and fixes. I can provide the links if needed to either guide.
Anyway, it appears that if I spend any extended time in an AWOP added location, such as the shack under the bridge, the ant nest in springvale, the sewers in springvale, and then try to return to the world map/outdoors, I crash to desktop.
I have the 4gb patch, GetItsLAA returns 2. I set every exe in the FNV folder to run as admin, as well as the Mod Organizer application itsself. I didn't install every mod in the guides - the MO2 count is 360 and 161 for Plugins. Its not an AMD thing, I have an nvidia card. The guide did include the mod limit fixer as well. I set the following ini changes, per a suggestion I found on the 4gb patcher stickies.
[General] bPreemptivelyUnloadCells=1
[BackgroundLoad] bSelectivePurgeUnusedOnFastTravel=1
Any suggestions on how to stabilize being able to leave AWOP locations?
I'm not above console commands if it's an option to teleport somewhere without it crashing, haven't tried though as I assumed it would. Any further information that could help pin down a fix that I could provide? I didn't want to throw a bunch of things up without checking first on what is relevant and needed. Thanking in advance for any insight or assistance.
submitted by Stormtempter to FalloutMods [link] [comments]
Anyway, it appears that if I spend any extended time in an AWOP added location, such as the shack under the bridge, the ant nest in springvale, the sewers in springvale, and then try to return to the world map/outdoors, I crash to desktop.
I have the 4gb patch, GetItsLAA returns 2. I set every exe in the FNV folder to run as admin, as well as the Mod Organizer application itsself. I didn't install every mod in the guides - the MO2 count is 360 and 161 for Plugins. Its not an AMD thing, I have an nvidia card. The guide did include the mod limit fixer as well. I set the following ini changes, per a suggestion I found on the 4gb patcher stickies.
[General] bPreemptivelyUnloadCells=1
[BackgroundLoad] bSelectivePurgeUnusedOnFastTravel=1
Any suggestions on how to stabilize being able to leave AWOP locations?
I'm not above console commands if it's an option to teleport somewhere without it crashing, haven't tried though as I assumed it would. Any further information that could help pin down a fix that I could provide? I didn't want to throw a bunch of things up without checking first on what is relevant and needed. Thanking in advance for any insight or assistance.
FalloutNV.esm DeadMoney.esm HonestHearts.esm OldWorldBlues.esm LonesomeRoad.esm GunRunnersArsenal.esm Fallout3.esm Anchorage.esm ThePitt.esm BrokenSteel.esm PointLookout.esm Zeta.esm CaravanPack.esm ClassicPack.esm MercenaryPack.esm TribalPack.esm TaleOfTwoWastelands.esm YUPTTW.esm NavmeshOverhaul.esm TTW Ultimate Invisible Wall Remover.esm FO3_Optimization.esm Main And Pause Menus Overhaul.esm TweaksTTW.esm Tale of Bi Wastelands.esm TTW Reputations.esm Tale of Bi Wastelands + TTW Reputations Patch.esm TTW New Vegas Speech Checks.esm TTW New Vegas Speech Checks - TTW Reputations Patch.esm Tale of Bi Wastelands + TTW NV Speech Checks Patch.esm TGMIO.esm 3DNPCFNVBundle.esm 3DNPCFO3Bundle.esm Functional Post Game Ending.esm Functional Post Game Ending - TTW Patch.esm TLD_Travelers.esm A Trail of Crumbs.esm Regulators.esm Uncut Wasteland.esp Uncut Extra Collection.esp Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland And Extra Collection Patch.esm AWorldOfPainFO3.esm A World of Pain Revised.esm EDGE TTW.esm Sweet Pain.esm Sweet Pain NV.esm MoreMojave.esm Faction Wasteland Presence.esm Mojave Raiders.esm Mojave Raiders - TTW Patch.esm Mojave Wildlife (FO3-Style + No Chanced).esp TTW NPC Overhaul.esm TTW NPC Overhaul - FPGE Patch.esm SD_Transporters.esp Home and Safehouse Tweaks.esm Home and Safehouse Tweaks - TTW Addon.esm [RWM]-Complete.esm mil.esp mil-TTWPlacements.esp mil_Add-On.esp zl_Armaments_Remastered.esm Tactapack.esp WMIMNV.esp AmmoScriptFixes.esp CriticalEffectFixes.esp TTW No PipBoy Glove Equipping or Race Changes.esp TTW FaceGen Fix.esp ExRB-TTW.esp The Mod Configuration Menu.esp Vanilla UI Plus.esp Power Armor Holo Panel.esp PipBoyUITweaks.esp JustAssortedMods.esp JBTImproved.esp JIP Companions Command & Control.esp Stash Organizer.esp QuickSelect.esp ItemCards.esp RadiationVisuals.esp SimpleNightVision.esp TTWMoreMapMarkers.esp Map Markers - Reputations Patch.esp TTW Quick Start.esp TTW Quick Start Item Remover.esp Wasteland Starting Gear DC.esp TTW Quick NV Train Start.esp DelayDLCRedux.esp DelayDLCReduxPOPP.esp TTWTransportalponderEx.esp SD_Transporters spelling.esp Benny Humbles You and Steals Your Stuff.esp TLD LVLI Total Overhaul.esp SP TTW Patch.esp MoreMojave - FPGE Patch.esp Mojave Raiders.esp Mojave Raiders - TTW Patch.esp MR - Uncut Patch.esp MR - NPCO Patch.esp MR - Uncut - NPCO Patch.esp Mojave Wildlife (FO3-Style + No Chanced) - TTW Patch.esp [RWM]-Complete Added.esp Immersive Minigames.esp 3DGrenadeIndicator.esp WeaponRequirementSystem.esp ImmersiveRecoil.esp IRNPC.esp Reload Reloaded.esp MigCrippled.esp MigArmorDegen.esp RAD.esp BURN - Hardcore Fire Effects.esp Forced Entry.esp Quickthrow.esp QuickthrowTweaks.esp Supplemental Ammo Crafting.esp EDGE Master Patch.esp EDGE - Speech - Reputations Patch.esp EDGE - FPGE Patch.esp EdgeNPCO.esp EDGE - NPCO - FPGE Patch.esp TTW Dialogue and Interactions Expansion Overhaul.esp DIEO - Tale of Bi Wastelands Patch.esp DIEO - AWOPFO3 Patch.esp New Blood.esp S6S Base Game Perks Redux.esp S6S Base Game Perks Redux TTW Side.esp S6S Perks.esp Friends With Benefits Perk Pack.esp Tree New Perks.esp New Blood TTW Patch.esp Sweet Consumables.esp Aid Addon.esp Healing Systems.esp TheAIMerge.esp GRA Scavenger Hunt Unbalanced.esp GUWR - TTW Patch.esp Simple Attack Reactions - NV+TTW.esp MigPowerAttack.esp Hitstop.esp Enhanced Movement.esp B42Inertia.esp NVMIM.esp Impostors and LOD Flicker Fix.esp STAR TTW 2.esp BHYSYS STARS Gear Patch.esp WSGDC STAR Patch.esp STAR TTW - Uncut Extra Collection Patch.esp StarsNPCO.esp STARS - Uncut - NPCO Patch.esp STARS - MR - NPCO Patch.esp AWSOMER.esp ATMOS Ambient Overhaul.esp ATMOS NV - TTW Patch.esp ATMOS NV + FPGE Patch.esp ATMOS Sound Overhaul - TTW.esp Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks TTW.esp DNWeathers.esp Interior Rain.esp Interior Rain - TTW.esp CC - Rain.esp CC - 3D Rain.esp Natural Interior.esp
2024.05.19 06:59 AdvertisingFree3968 My marriage is over.
But even typing this, it doesn’t feel real. I still have hope tonight that he can change. I feel so stupid.
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.
submitted by AdvertisingFree3968 to domesticviolence [link] [comments]
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.
2024.05.19 06:58 DelSurAbajo Curse of Strahd - One Shot - 5e D&D
Hey yall!
I am looking for a couple of players who would like to play a One Shot based on the Curse of Strahd campaign.
Below is some info on game / character parameters.
Important Guidelines & Suggestions for Our Adventure
Mature Content Advisory:
Our adventures will explore mature themes, including but not limited to: sexuality, substance use, murder, and bigotry. We aim to handle these responsibly and sensitively, avoiding any extremes. Child abuse will not be featured. If there are specific topics you’d prefer to avoid, please communicate this to me privately.
Daily Posting Requirement:
You are required to post at least once a day to keep the game lively and engaging. If you're unable to post on any day, that’s completely fine—just let me know in advance. Your spot in the game could be at risk if you consistently fail to post without notification.
Response Time Consideration:
Please be considerate of each player's full 24-hour window to respond. I'll send friendly reminders around the 12-hour, 16-hour, and 1-hour marks before the window closes.
Gameplay Pace:
Remember, Play By Post (PBP) games are naturally slower, designed to fit into our busy schedules. Try not to monopolize interactions, such as interrogating NPCs extensively or searching every nook and cranny before others have a chance to participate.
Pinging Etiquette:
Please refrain from pinging others merely to prompt action in the game. Everyone is aware they should check in daily. Pings should be reserved for specific questions or important discussions. I will handle reminders to keep the game progressing.
Variant & Homebrew Rules Overview for Our Campaign
We'll be incorporating several dynamic options to deepen our game experience:
Variant Encumbrance
Side Initiative
Cleave
Morale
Injuries
Massive Damage
Fear and Horror
Additionally, we'll use these specific variant rules:
Healing Surges: In the heat of battle, characters can use an action to spend up to half their Hit Dice for healing. For each Hit Die spent, roll the die and add your Constitution modifier to regain hit points. This action is available once per short or long rest, with Hit Dice replenishing fully after a long rest and partially (one-fourth your level, minimum one die) after a short rest.
Slow Natural Healing: After a long rest, characters do not automatically regain hit points. Instead, you may spend Hit Dice to heal, just as you would during a short rest.
Character Creation Guide for Our Epic Adventure!
Starting Level: Everyone begins their journey at Level 1.
Background Restrictions: The Outlander background is off-limits for this adventure.
Spell Limitations: Please note that the Light cantrip and Create Food and Water spell are not available.
Ability Scores: 4d6 drop lowest
Hit Points: We'll use fixed HP to keep things straightforward.
Magic Item: Start with one free common magic item. Opt for something that enhances your character's story or personality rather than combat prowess. No weapons or armor.
Experience Points: Level up through XP earned in encounters. Extra XP for those who dazzle with creativity, strategic prowess in battles, and stellar role-playing!
Character Mortality: Remember, if your character meets their demise, they will forfeit any acquired items.
Customization: Tasha’s customization options are all yours to explore and utilize.
With 1/2 cover you get disadvantage on your hide check.
With ¾ cover you get a normal roll for your hide check
With Full cover you have advantage on your hide check.
Hiding in bright light w/no cover is impossible.
Hiding in dim light with no cover is a straight role on your hide check.
Hiding in darkness with no cover is advantage on your hide check.
See yall in the game!
submitted by DelSurAbajo to pbp [link] [comments]
I am looking for a couple of players who would like to play a One Shot based on the Curse of Strahd campaign.
Below is some info on game / character parameters.
Important Guidelines & Suggestions for Our Adventure
Mature Content Advisory:
Our adventures will explore mature themes, including but not limited to: sexuality, substance use, murder, and bigotry. We aim to handle these responsibly and sensitively, avoiding any extremes. Child abuse will not be featured. If there are specific topics you’d prefer to avoid, please communicate this to me privately.
Daily Posting Requirement:
You are required to post at least once a day to keep the game lively and engaging. If you're unable to post on any day, that’s completely fine—just let me know in advance. Your spot in the game could be at risk if you consistently fail to post without notification.
Response Time Consideration:
Please be considerate of each player's full 24-hour window to respond. I'll send friendly reminders around the 12-hour, 16-hour, and 1-hour marks before the window closes.
Gameplay Pace:
Remember, Play By Post (PBP) games are naturally slower, designed to fit into our busy schedules. Try not to monopolize interactions, such as interrogating NPCs extensively or searching every nook and cranny before others have a chance to participate.
Pinging Etiquette:
Please refrain from pinging others merely to prompt action in the game. Everyone is aware they should check in daily. Pings should be reserved for specific questions or important discussions. I will handle reminders to keep the game progressing.
Variant & Homebrew Rules Overview for Our Campaign
We'll be incorporating several dynamic options to deepen our game experience:
Variant Encumbrance
Side Initiative
Cleave
Morale
Injuries
Massive Damage
Fear and Horror
Additionally, we'll use these specific variant rules:
Healing Surges: In the heat of battle, characters can use an action to spend up to half their Hit Dice for healing. For each Hit Die spent, roll the die and add your Constitution modifier to regain hit points. This action is available once per short or long rest, with Hit Dice replenishing fully after a long rest and partially (one-fourth your level, minimum one die) after a short rest.
Slow Natural Healing: After a long rest, characters do not automatically regain hit points. Instead, you may spend Hit Dice to heal, just as you would during a short rest.
Character Creation Guide for Our Epic Adventure!
Starting Level: Everyone begins their journey at Level 1.
Background Restrictions: The Outlander background is off-limits for this adventure.
Spell Limitations: Please note that the Light cantrip and Create Food and Water spell are not available.
Ability Scores: 4d6 drop lowest
Hit Points: We'll use fixed HP to keep things straightforward.
Magic Item: Start with one free common magic item. Opt for something that enhances your character's story or personality rather than combat prowess. No weapons or armor.
Experience Points: Level up through XP earned in encounters. Extra XP for those who dazzle with creativity, strategic prowess in battles, and stellar role-playing!
Character Mortality: Remember, if your character meets their demise, they will forfeit any acquired items.
Customization: Tasha’s customization options are all yours to explore and utilize.
**Homebrew Rules:**
To tailor our campaign to our unique style, we have implemented the following homebrew rules:- **The Light Cantrip:** This spell is not allowed to ensure our game emphasizes more natural and strategic uses of light and darkness. All other light producing abilities and spells are allowed.
- **Resurrection Mechanics:** All resurrection spells are elevated to 9th level, making the act of bringing back the dead a rare and significant event.
- **Vision Adjustments:** No character has dark vision by default, emphasizing the challenge and importance of light in our campaign.
- **Hide Action Modifications:**
Hide action works with vision and cover.
With 1/2 cover you get disadvantage on your hide check.
With ¾ cover you get a normal roll for your hide check
With Full cover you have advantage on your hide check.
Hiding in bright light w/no cover is impossible.
Hiding in dim light with no cover is a straight role on your hide check.
Hiding in darkness with no cover is advantage on your hide check.
- **Initiative:** We're using group initiative to determine order of action. We'll take the average of the PCs' initiative rolls compared to the enemies'. The highest individual initiative within our group gets a bonus.
- **Death Saves:** These are rolled privately, known only to the DM, adding an element of suspense and uncertainty to combat outcomes.
See yall in the game!
2024.05.19 06:57 agent-assbutt How a craving for school pizza made me angry about being a glass child
(note: this is an extremely self-absorbed and long-winded post centered on comparing my upbringing to my husband's upbringing and it contains mentions of eating disorders and lots of whining. This is word vomit, is not of value, and I will probably delete this soon).
Sometimes it's the little things that make me realize how... slightly different my upbringing was... in comparison to people who grew up with healthy siblings. For me, it was nostalgic school pizza.
I ate school lunch every day. Packing? Lol, no. My husband? He told me tonight that he never, like as in never ever, ate school lunch. His mom packed for him every single day - he got special sandwiches and casseroles and even sushi once or twice. Therefore, he has no nostalgia for school pizza, whereas I do, and I am about to spend $50 on some brand of pizza that apparently tastes just like it.
My husband was raised differently than me. He was raised by upper middle class parents, including his mom being SAHM for his entire life, and he and his sibling were both healthy their entire lives. My parents both worked in law enforcement/social work adjacent jobs, both working nights sometimes, and they had city and nonprofit pay, aka we were probably lower middle class. I also had an extremely ill sibling for the duration of middle school and the first year of high school.
As a child, my husband was never left alone. He didn't stay home alone until he was 14. He never had to stay alone for days and weeks like I did. We lived in a rural area too, so I was far from town and couldn't go anywhere. While my sibling was hospitalized two hours away or at various appointments, they'd come home late at night most days. There were weeks in the summer where they were home maybe 6 hours a week and I was alone with neighbors and my aunt checking in every other day. Sometimes they sent me to day camp in the summer and I'd be the last one picked up. I always went to day camp because I suspect overnight camp cost too much - my sibling's illness was expensive. If I wasn't at day camp, I was alone all the time during summer and after school. This lasted four years.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad at the time. I felt like it was my house and I walked the dogs and stayed up late and ate frozen foods and went swimming in our above ground pool. I had two close friends in the neighborhood and I'd spend time with them when I could. I got a job when I was 15 and my friend's mom picked me up and drove me back and forth from work until I got my license. I was online A LOT and was in chat rooms and meeting randos on message boards as young as 12. I even got into web design and taught myself a few basic programming languages. Honestly, I was kind of raised by the Internet
I also ate school lunch every day. I know how to poke a milk bag perfectly. I am constantly nostalgic for the nuggets, pizza, and Bosco sticks of my middle and high school cafeterias. My parents would give me money at the beginning of the week and I'd map my school lunch plan out. Lunch was the highlight of my day for awhile. I ate a lot of Bosco sticks. My school also had a vending machine, so I drank lots of Dr. Pepper too. I honestly got pretty fat. Until I wasn't, because somehow (the Internet), I calculated the calories of everything at my school cafeteria, and then only nutrigrain bars and an apple were safe. I ate Bosco sticks at least weekly though - I craved them even when I was starving myself. I just didn't usually keep them down and I'll leave it at that.
School pizza though. School pizza isn't tainted like Bosco sticks. It was different pizza every week in high school so I never knew the calories. Thus I didn't eat it after first semester of high school. Even after I was "recovering" and my sibling got better, meaning suddenly I wasn't being raised by the Internet anymore, I avoided school pizza. The memories I have are from 2000 and pizza day at my elementary school stands as a consistently pleasant memory. I make pizzas now. Good pizzas. I love pizza. I've made it for my husband, parents, and sibling.
Never school pizza though.
I want to try $50 nostalgic pizza.
My husband says it's probably gross and not worth $50.
He never had to do meal planning when he was 12 and alone for weeks at a time though.
submitted by agent-assbutt to GlassChildren [link] [comments]
Sometimes it's the little things that make me realize how... slightly different my upbringing was... in comparison to people who grew up with healthy siblings. For me, it was nostalgic school pizza.
I ate school lunch every day. Packing? Lol, no. My husband? He told me tonight that he never, like as in never ever, ate school lunch. His mom packed for him every single day - he got special sandwiches and casseroles and even sushi once or twice. Therefore, he has no nostalgia for school pizza, whereas I do, and I am about to spend $50 on some brand of pizza that apparently tastes just like it.
My husband was raised differently than me. He was raised by upper middle class parents, including his mom being SAHM for his entire life, and he and his sibling were both healthy their entire lives. My parents both worked in law enforcement/social work adjacent jobs, both working nights sometimes, and they had city and nonprofit pay, aka we were probably lower middle class. I also had an extremely ill sibling for the duration of middle school and the first year of high school.
As a child, my husband was never left alone. He didn't stay home alone until he was 14. He never had to stay alone for days and weeks like I did. We lived in a rural area too, so I was far from town and couldn't go anywhere. While my sibling was hospitalized two hours away or at various appointments, they'd come home late at night most days. There were weeks in the summer where they were home maybe 6 hours a week and I was alone with neighbors and my aunt checking in every other day. Sometimes they sent me to day camp in the summer and I'd be the last one picked up. I always went to day camp because I suspect overnight camp cost too much - my sibling's illness was expensive. If I wasn't at day camp, I was alone all the time during summer and after school. This lasted four years.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad at the time. I felt like it was my house and I walked the dogs and stayed up late and ate frozen foods and went swimming in our above ground pool. I had two close friends in the neighborhood and I'd spend time with them when I could. I got a job when I was 15 and my friend's mom picked me up and drove me back and forth from work until I got my license. I was online A LOT and was in chat rooms and meeting randos on message boards as young as 12. I even got into web design and taught myself a few basic programming languages. Honestly, I was kind of raised by the Internet
I also ate school lunch every day. I know how to poke a milk bag perfectly. I am constantly nostalgic for the nuggets, pizza, and Bosco sticks of my middle and high school cafeterias. My parents would give me money at the beginning of the week and I'd map my school lunch plan out. Lunch was the highlight of my day for awhile. I ate a lot of Bosco sticks. My school also had a vending machine, so I drank lots of Dr. Pepper too. I honestly got pretty fat. Until I wasn't, because somehow (the Internet), I calculated the calories of everything at my school cafeteria, and then only nutrigrain bars and an apple were safe. I ate Bosco sticks at least weekly though - I craved them even when I was starving myself. I just didn't usually keep them down and I'll leave it at that.
School pizza though. School pizza isn't tainted like Bosco sticks. It was different pizza every week in high school so I never knew the calories. Thus I didn't eat it after first semester of high school. Even after I was "recovering" and my sibling got better, meaning suddenly I wasn't being raised by the Internet anymore, I avoided school pizza. The memories I have are from 2000 and pizza day at my elementary school stands as a consistently pleasant memory. I make pizzas now. Good pizzas. I love pizza. I've made it for my husband, parents, and sibling.
Never school pizza though.
I want to try $50 nostalgic pizza.
My husband says it's probably gross and not worth $50.
He never had to do meal planning when he was 12 and alone for weeks at a time though.
2024.05.19 06:56 Far_Minute_4253 TIFU by flashing my friend group
this is my first time posting but i’m trying to give as much detail w/o people being able to figure out who i am (throwaway account just in case) so if you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to ask or lmk in the comments.
i (19f) had a birthday this week and decided it would be fun to go out with my friends on the weekend since we are all so busy with work and moving back home from college. most of us were available for the time and day i set so we were good to go. all week i’ve been so excited to see everyone since it’s been about 6 months since we’ve all been together since our lives have been changing a lot in this year that most of us have graduated from high school.
well come today i was getting ready and found a really cute dress that i just love since it just looks great on me and i pair it with a crop top that’s too small but works with the dress but it doesn’t fully cover my chest (big problem since i hate bras) so the dress has to fully cover it (if that makes sense). i shower, do my makeup, get dressed, and meet everyone giving out hugs and catching up at our first destination, an arcade. we have a great time playing games and hanging out beating each other in games we haven’t played in years it’s great. i decided to join a waitlist for a restaurant close so we could have better food and we have a kinda big party so i didn’t want to chance having to wait too long once we got there (important for later).
we start to cash out our tickets for candy and knickknacks and head over to the restaurant to meet up with more friends. when we get out our cars i text to check us in. we stand and wait outside for the second text message saying we can head inside. while talking we see our friends pull in then my best friend texts me to fix my dress. me being the idiot that i am stands up and asks what’s wrong not feeling the breeze on my breasts that have fallen through my two layers of clothes. i’m still so embarrassed and have no clue what to do i’m just still in shock 5 hours later. idk who all saw but i’m so scared that the guy i like saw me like that or even worse if the people around us saw it’s just so embarrassing idk what or how to feel about it i understand it’s an accident but i wish i could’ve avoided it and i feel like i could’ve. really just looking for advice or anything that could take my mind off of it, thank you!
TL;DR- i accidentally flashed my friends and maybe some people in front of a restaurant because i go braless.
submitted by Far_Minute_4253 to tifu [link] [comments]
i (19f) had a birthday this week and decided it would be fun to go out with my friends on the weekend since we are all so busy with work and moving back home from college. most of us were available for the time and day i set so we were good to go. all week i’ve been so excited to see everyone since it’s been about 6 months since we’ve all been together since our lives have been changing a lot in this year that most of us have graduated from high school.
well come today i was getting ready and found a really cute dress that i just love since it just looks great on me and i pair it with a crop top that’s too small but works with the dress but it doesn’t fully cover my chest (big problem since i hate bras) so the dress has to fully cover it (if that makes sense). i shower, do my makeup, get dressed, and meet everyone giving out hugs and catching up at our first destination, an arcade. we have a great time playing games and hanging out beating each other in games we haven’t played in years it’s great. i decided to join a waitlist for a restaurant close so we could have better food and we have a kinda big party so i didn’t want to chance having to wait too long once we got there (important for later).
we start to cash out our tickets for candy and knickknacks and head over to the restaurant to meet up with more friends. when we get out our cars i text to check us in. we stand and wait outside for the second text message saying we can head inside. while talking we see our friends pull in then my best friend texts me to fix my dress. me being the idiot that i am stands up and asks what’s wrong not feeling the breeze on my breasts that have fallen through my two layers of clothes. i’m still so embarrassed and have no clue what to do i’m just still in shock 5 hours later. idk who all saw but i’m so scared that the guy i like saw me like that or even worse if the people around us saw it’s just so embarrassing idk what or how to feel about it i understand it’s an accident but i wish i could’ve avoided it and i feel like i could’ve. really just looking for advice or anything that could take my mind off of it, thank you!
TL;DR- i accidentally flashed my friends and maybe some people in front of a restaurant because i go braless.
2024.05.19 06:54 Visible_Chair_473 [GBA/DS/DSi][2006-2012~] 2D 32-bit side scrolling game where you interchange between robots/creatures such as a slimmer form having a whip to cross obstacles, another being more blocky and slow, and possibly one more, but all being one playable character
Platforms: Game Boy Advanced/DS/DSi
Genre: Action, sidescroller, robot/mech/creature(?)
Estimated year of release: 2006-2012 (roughly)
Graphics/art style: 2D/pixelated side scroller. Very grey besides main character. The closest game style I can think of is Mega Man ZX in character size and pixel style, but the character's designs themselves don't look similar. The game felt made for an older audience, as in not a game like Kid Chameleon that has a "cuter" artstyle? Kind of hard to explain but it didn't have that kind of look to it
Screenshot from Mega Man ZX. Very similar looking but the main character from my game isn't as vibrant and the background was much flatter and less dynamic
Notable characters: a main character (almost positive NOT a human or not seeable as one) that has possibly three forms that changes I believe through item pickup maybe? One form that was slimmer in design had a whip/tendril for going over obstacles, another one was clunkier and more square, can't remember the rest (I at least believe there were three). I swear the colors were like light pink, green, and possibly blue? A game called Metal Mutant has a VERY similar character function as to how I remember the character in my game, I had to check and see if there was another in the series on handheld because it fits really close to my description. If Metal Mutant looked a lot more like Mega Man ZX in scale and sprite size and released past 2006 it would be the game I'm thinking of which is very confusing
Character from Metal Mutant. Besides the Dino variation, the other two are incredibly similar to my memory of the character from my game
Notable gameplay mechanics: Character that changes between different types depending on needed situation, such as a whip for obstacles, or a tankier body for needed defense. I can't remember a single enemy which is annoying, but I still believe it was somewhat of an action game like the Mega Man series (don't think its that franchise tho, not from what I could find)
Other details (IMPORTANT): Is not these previously guessed titles: A Boy and his Blob / Metal Mutant (VERY similar tho) / Castlevania III / Monster Tale DS / Shantae series / Kid Chameleon / Gunstar Super Heroes / Robots for GBA / Mega Man ZX or Advent / Act-Fancer: Cybernetick Hyper Weapon / Metroid Fusion / Oddworld series / Trine
This is game is so fuzzy in my memory and has always been one I've wanted to remember but just can't rack my brain on it man. I can't remember which platform I had it on specifically but it was a handheld Nintendo game for sure. I don't remember either whether the main character was a creature or a robot, just that it would change in design and function between possibly three different iterations. Really wondering if this may be a lost cause...but we'll see lol
submitted by Visible_Chair_473 to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]
Genre: Action, sidescroller, robot/mech/creature(?)
Estimated year of release: 2006-2012 (roughly)
Graphics/art style: 2D/pixelated side scroller. Very grey besides main character. The closest game style I can think of is Mega Man ZX in character size and pixel style, but the character's designs themselves don't look similar. The game felt made for an older audience, as in not a game like Kid Chameleon that has a "cuter" artstyle? Kind of hard to explain but it didn't have that kind of look to it
Screenshot from Mega Man ZX. Very similar looking but the main character from my game isn't as vibrant and the background was much flatter and less dynamic
Notable characters: a main character (almost positive NOT a human or not seeable as one) that has possibly three forms that changes I believe through item pickup maybe? One form that was slimmer in design had a whip/tendril for going over obstacles, another one was clunkier and more square, can't remember the rest (I at least believe there were three). I swear the colors were like light pink, green, and possibly blue? A game called Metal Mutant has a VERY similar character function as to how I remember the character in my game, I had to check and see if there was another in the series on handheld because it fits really close to my description. If Metal Mutant looked a lot more like Mega Man ZX in scale and sprite size and released past 2006 it would be the game I'm thinking of which is very confusing
Character from Metal Mutant. Besides the Dino variation, the other two are incredibly similar to my memory of the character from my game
Notable gameplay mechanics: Character that changes between different types depending on needed situation, such as a whip for obstacles, or a tankier body for needed defense. I can't remember a single enemy which is annoying, but I still believe it was somewhat of an action game like the Mega Man series (don't think its that franchise tho, not from what I could find)
Other details (IMPORTANT): Is not these previously guessed titles: A Boy and his Blob / Metal Mutant (VERY similar tho) / Castlevania III / Monster Tale DS / Shantae series / Kid Chameleon / Gunstar Super Heroes / Robots for GBA / Mega Man ZX or Advent / Act-Fancer: Cybernetick Hyper Weapon / Metroid Fusion / Oddworld series / Trine
This is game is so fuzzy in my memory and has always been one I've wanted to remember but just can't rack my brain on it man. I can't remember which platform I had it on specifically but it was a handheld Nintendo game for sure. I don't remember either whether the main character was a creature or a robot, just that it would change in design and function between possibly three different iterations. Really wondering if this may be a lost cause...but we'll see lol
2024.05.19 06:53 SuccessfulVoice2891 The moment you realize you don’t have to let emet ruin your life is a life changing, beautiful moment
I have a positive story to share. I avoid this sub for the most part unless I’m in a bad place mentally, but I’ve been wanting to share. I will try to keep a very long story short.
I’ve had emetophobia since I was as young as 4. It only cropped up if someone got sick near me or if someone in my house was sick, but for the most part it didn’t bother me on a daily basis.
Shortly after having my daughter, my husband got a series of sb* right in a row. I was already dealing with PPD/PPA, and this sent me over the edge. It got BAD. I barely remember the first two years of my daughter’s life. At my worst, I spent an entire trip in New York in the hotel room because I was convinced I was sick (I wasn’t). My husband actually got sick on another trip, and I left him in another state, booked him a separate flight home, to avoid sitting next to him. Just painting a picture of how bad it was. For a period of time, I was suicidal, I was taking Xanax around the clock just to get through the day, and I got on Zoloft to help manage. I was in a case study to do EMDR for emet, which also helped a lot.
I took up a pretty strict lifestyle where I went to therapy weekly (still do), took an MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course, and took up yoga. Over the course of a year and a half doing that, I was able to get off medication completely and deal with my symptoms as they crop up.
Since my daughter started school, it’s been tough, but I make it through. My husband handles when she does get sick (not often) and I usually go to my mom’s house.
UNTIL. We were recently on a camping trip in our camper. My daughter got sick on the FIRST night we were there, the only night we didn’t have a campsite with hookups. No running water, we discovered we didn’t have bleach, and I had a panic attack and decided I couldn’t do it. I got a hotel room across the street, literally bought a separate hotel room for her to shower in, and I was 100% prepared to get an Uber to the airport and fly home the next morning. There was no way I would be able to stay for a whole week in a confined space like that. What if my husband or I got it next?
The next morning I checked on her and had my finger on the button to call an Uber. She told me she felt bad for ruining the trip. I realized in that moment that if I left, I would be proving her right. My husband was extremely supportive and told me he would not be upset if I left but that he would love if I would stay. So I made the decision to stay. I went to Walmart, bought bleach and Lysol and new sheets, cleaned the camper from top to bottom, and tried to enjoy the day outside.
We actually had the BEST trip. No one else got sick. We made SO MANY MEMORIES that I would’ve missed out on by leaving. I’m so so glad I stayed. It was an emotional week for me, and I was so glad everyone in my life realized what a huge step it was for me.
I’m sharing this because I know there are people here like me who believe they can’t do it and that it will never get better. But it CAN. Since I got back, I haven’t been constantly washing my hands or using Zylast like usual. It hasn’t been on my mind 24/7 like usual. I still get anxious when I hear about it, but it’s not occupying my brain all day long anymore.
Tonight, my husband is out of town. The worst time she could possibly get sick. We’re watching a movie and she tells me she thinks she’s going to get sick. I freaked out for a moment, took a Xanax (I rarely take them now) to calm myself, but was able to calm down and figure out a plan. I got everything ready in case it happened. I called my mom and she came over for a while. I still don’t know if she’s going to be okay, but I’m sitting here NOT wanting to die over it. Knowing that whatever happens, we will be okay. Knowing that I can do it.
submitted by SuccessfulVoice2891 to emetophobia [link] [comments]
I’ve had emetophobia since I was as young as 4. It only cropped up if someone got sick near me or if someone in my house was sick, but for the most part it didn’t bother me on a daily basis.
Shortly after having my daughter, my husband got a series of sb* right in a row. I was already dealing with PPD/PPA, and this sent me over the edge. It got BAD. I barely remember the first two years of my daughter’s life. At my worst, I spent an entire trip in New York in the hotel room because I was convinced I was sick (I wasn’t). My husband actually got sick on another trip, and I left him in another state, booked him a separate flight home, to avoid sitting next to him. Just painting a picture of how bad it was. For a period of time, I was suicidal, I was taking Xanax around the clock just to get through the day, and I got on Zoloft to help manage. I was in a case study to do EMDR for emet, which also helped a lot.
I took up a pretty strict lifestyle where I went to therapy weekly (still do), took an MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course, and took up yoga. Over the course of a year and a half doing that, I was able to get off medication completely and deal with my symptoms as they crop up.
Since my daughter started school, it’s been tough, but I make it through. My husband handles when she does get sick (not often) and I usually go to my mom’s house.
UNTIL. We were recently on a camping trip in our camper. My daughter got sick on the FIRST night we were there, the only night we didn’t have a campsite with hookups. No running water, we discovered we didn’t have bleach, and I had a panic attack and decided I couldn’t do it. I got a hotel room across the street, literally bought a separate hotel room for her to shower in, and I was 100% prepared to get an Uber to the airport and fly home the next morning. There was no way I would be able to stay for a whole week in a confined space like that. What if my husband or I got it next?
The next morning I checked on her and had my finger on the button to call an Uber. She told me she felt bad for ruining the trip. I realized in that moment that if I left, I would be proving her right. My husband was extremely supportive and told me he would not be upset if I left but that he would love if I would stay. So I made the decision to stay. I went to Walmart, bought bleach and Lysol and new sheets, cleaned the camper from top to bottom, and tried to enjoy the day outside.
We actually had the BEST trip. No one else got sick. We made SO MANY MEMORIES that I would’ve missed out on by leaving. I’m so so glad I stayed. It was an emotional week for me, and I was so glad everyone in my life realized what a huge step it was for me.
I’m sharing this because I know there are people here like me who believe they can’t do it and that it will never get better. But it CAN. Since I got back, I haven’t been constantly washing my hands or using Zylast like usual. It hasn’t been on my mind 24/7 like usual. I still get anxious when I hear about it, but it’s not occupying my brain all day long anymore.
Tonight, my husband is out of town. The worst time she could possibly get sick. We’re watching a movie and she tells me she thinks she’s going to get sick. I freaked out for a moment, took a Xanax (I rarely take them now) to calm myself, but was able to calm down and figure out a plan. I got everything ready in case it happened. I called my mom and she came over for a while. I still don’t know if she’s going to be okay, but I’m sitting here NOT wanting to die over it. Knowing that whatever happens, we will be okay. Knowing that I can do it.
2024.05.19 06:51 GrownUpGirlScout Nancy Cunard, Parallax, and (Taylor's Version of) Modernism
 | I did not entirely intend to end up this deep down a rabbit hole, but here we are!The other night after reading the wonderful The Eras Tour Follies post-GO READ THAT POST, everything in there relates to ALL of this as Loie Fuller was a modernist choreographer and so her art relates strongly to everything I will be discussing. Pretty much everything I present here emphasizes the idea that Taylor is leaning into a very specific type of performance art. Anyway, after reading that, facebook suggested to me a post from a page with follies in the name and between that and the line “my swift imagination”, my attention was captured. From the post-“‘You shall not prison, shall not grammarise / my swift imagination.’ So declares a poem Nancy Cunard wrote in 1919, at the age of twenty-three. The speaker of “In Answer to a Reproof” casts herself as “the perfect stranger / outcast and outlaw from the rules of life”. Conveying something of Cunard’s defiance of social norms, the poem seems to prophesy her later cutting of ties to both her mother and her country. For Jane Marcus, it constitutes “the declaration of independence of female modernism”.Cunard began her writing career as a poet, and her long poem Parallax was published by Virginia Woolf’s Hogarth Press in 1925.” Jane Marcus wrote a book called Nancy Cunard: Perfect Strangers which was released in 2020 (post-humuously, the book was finished by her research assistant.) It seems like it was a small university press type deal and not widely available in print, though it seems sites like jstor may have it available in its entirity. The book summary- “Nancy Cunard: Perfect Stranger reshapes our understanding of a woman whose role in key historical, political, and cultural moments of the 20th century was either dismissed and attacked, or undervalued. Here, Jane Marcus, who was one of the most insightful critics of modernism and a pioneering feminist scholar, is unafraid and unapologetic in addressing and contesting Nancy Cunard’s reputation and reception as a spoiled heiress and “sexually dangerous New Woman.” Instead, with her characteristic provocative and energetic writing style, Marcus insists we reconsider issues of gender, race, and class in relation to the accusations, stereotypes, and scandal, which have dominated, and continue to dominate, our perception of Cunard in the public record. In the wake of inadequate histories of radical writing and activism, Nancy Cunard: Perfect Stranger brings its subject into the 21st century, offering a bold and innovative portrait of a woman we all thought we knew.” I was mostly going to get into her poem Parallax, but after having looked up the entirety of “In Answer to a Reproof”, I HAVE to bring that up as well. Her work isn’t super widely available online, but I did find this weird little poorly formatted archival site that seems to have the full text of her collected poetry . I haven’t read it all (yet), but to start with I’d direct you towards the poems “Outlaws”, “Monkery” and “The Love Story”, but when I read the opening lines to “In Answer to a Reproof” my jaw DROPPED. “Let my impatience guide you now, I feel You have not known that glorious discontent That leads me on : the wandering after dreams And the long chasing in the labyrinth Of fancy, and the reckless flight of moods — You shall not prison, shall not grammarise My swift imagination, nor tie down My laughing words, my serious words, old thoughts I may have led you on with, baffling you Into a pompous state of great confusion.” “The long chasing in the labyrinth” “shall not grammarise my swift imagination” (grammarise or gramarize can mean to analyze or describe), are both lines and ideas resonate a lot with what we know about Taylor and her work. The poem is saying, "you will not hold me to these interpretations you have of me, even if I was the one using my words to lead you on and confuse you.” “...I have concluded we are justified Each in his scheming ; is this not a world Proportioned large enough for enemies Of our calibre ? Shall we always meet In endless conflict ? I have realised That I shall burn in my own hell alone And solitarily escape from death” The burning imagery, the implications of a deep emotional rift between enemies who might be lovers? This poem, and honestly a lot of her others, have that sort of vibe. This part is justifying the need of enemies in the world and bringing attention to the role of destiny in the fate of two such adversaries. The poem text is available the collected poems I linked above, there is also this handwritten original from Yale’s archives on Nancy Cunard (had to go to the original to figure out what word she was using for solitarily because the formatting was so wonky on the other, lol) Let’s move on to Parallax! As mentioned above, the poem was originally published by Virgina Woolf’s literary press. It is a long form poem based on the The Waste Land, also a long form poem by T. S. Eliot. This is from the wiki page on The Waste Land- “widely regarded as one of the most important English-language poems of the 20th century and a central work of modernist poetry…The Waste Land does not follow a single narrative or feature a consistent style or structure. The poem shifts between voices of satire and prophecy, and features abrupt and unannounced changes of narrator, location and time, conjuring a vast and dissonant range of cultures and literatures.” These ideas are all VERY important in modernism. And modernism is VERY relevant to the idea of what Taylor does, but ESPECIALLY what she is currently doing with TTPD. Modernism was about rejecting the old ideas of things, and trying to rebuild, especially in the aftermath of WW1. Artists,writers, and musicians strongly embraced the idea of the visibility of the artist in their work. They no longer felt compelled to uphold the status quo and traditional methods (of poetry, of painting, of music, of literature, of architecture), they experimented with forms and processes that would be visible to the viewer in ways that had not been common or fashionable in the art world in the past. Stream of consciousness writing, unreliable narrators, and multiple points of views were new things being explored, especially in writing (A Room of One’s Own by Virgina Woolf being a great and relevant example of this, also go check out the first edition cover-Midnights much…). The artists wanted to invite deeper thought about what was being said and by whom.The way modernism referenced the past was also very relevant. Modernism was known for creating entirely new interpretations of traditional works. Rewriting traditional narratives, creating parodies, satire, incorporating aspects from many other sources and being referential to those sources (the idea of artistic collages, and incorporating old media into new works was being heavily explored). The definition of Parallax is “the apparent displacement or the difference in apparent direction of an object as seen from two different points not on a straight line with the object”especially : the angular difference in direction of a celestial body as measured from two points on the earth's orbit.” Okay so I honestly have a hard time wrapping my head around this, but…put your finger in front of your eyes, look beyond your finger, and then alternate closing one eye at a time. The way your finger appears to jump? That is an example of parallax. The closer an object is, the more drastically it appears to move when observed from different places. The further the object, the less it moves. (I find it interesting that Taylor’s shows have been speeding up and going faster? Almost like as she gets closer to…whatever she’s heading towards, the faster, the more drastic the change?) These are typical visual representations of parallax https://preview.redd.it/qk5mz85a8b1d1.png?width=1141&format=png&auto=webp&s=22232367790ba25ca7bbab72a39fdffe9e96d703 https://preview.redd.it/ry2565v38b1d1.png?width=733&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c820f59ffcf5307910723217a64dd3e54b986a6 Which majorly reminds me of this. https://preview.redd.it/jzdd6h4e8b1d1.png?width=1892&format=png&auto=webp&s=613b0265f22a95ddbde729ea23907dabd395f3f3 And I know that there’s only so much one can do with lights on a stage, but I find the visual parallels and the different perspectives during the TTPD set interesting. https://preview.redd.it/hdepna4h8b1d1.png?width=2134&format=png&auto=webp&s=9fcd00f1e7bd6f72918634100b8cf32bd4e7a9a2 https://preview.redd.it/kmedb1di8b1d1.png?width=1793&format=png&auto=webp&s=a03fe6fbb2e238d15c4858f3f797a7602a9d94de https://preview.redd.it/7zm1varj8b1d1.png?width=2091&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d3797ec39235a046429f5164e7d995af4fe53e5 And from the lyric video of “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart” https://preview.redd.it/98d87po19b1d1.png?width=1886&format=png&auto=webp&s=43d6f598c1493d88f2a3cf94f30dbb25a15cff21 https://preview.redd.it/ex2ew8349b1d1.png?width=1888&format=png&auto=webp&s=7069f52988b92e60edd03f76ff8ffe812c1ff7c7 Let’s get back to the poem! Here is Parallax by Nancy Cunard Scan from google books of the original printing of the book. A website with an easy to read full text version. It's long, but it's WELL worth reading. Very very rich imagery and themes which seems to go along with Taylor's use of similar themes and images “Provisioning of various appetite. Midnights have heard the wine’s philosophy Spill from glass he holds, defiant tomorrows Pushed back.” \* “Think now how friends grow old— Their diverse brains, hearts, faces, modify; Each candle wasting at both ends, the sly Disguise of its treacherous flame . . . Am I the same?” \* "Without prompter for the love-scene or the anger-scene. And . . . You and I, Propelled, controlled by need only, Forced by dark appetites; Lovers, friends, rivals for a time, thinking to choose, And having chosen, losing." Again, long but well worth reading. For a couple years, Nancy had a relationship with a man named Lois Aragon. I found this research paper about Aragon’s personal interest in fairy tales and in the author Lewis Carol. Cunard was instrumental in assisting Aragon to create a printed French translation of the Lewis Carol nonsense poem The Hunting of the Snark. The paper includes this bit, (part of?) a poem Aragon wrote for Cunard during their first trip together-to London. It is a love poem which uses ideas and imagery from Alice in Wonderland (the pdf of this pastes to nonsense so, screenshot.) https://preview.redd.it/s2fc5indab1d1.png?width=944&format=png&auto=webp&s=bb1970d7e6a9ae102351ade13bff00e321c9f2b5 So as interesting as I found all of these connections, I did at many points wonder if I was in fact thinking about all of this way too much. BUT THEN. BUT THEN. I decide, I’m just…gonna google Nancy Cunard and Taylor Swift. See if anything, at all, comes up. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11956353/Taylor-Swift-films-new-bank-robbery-themed-music-video-Cunard-Building-Liverpool.html The Cunard Building. She filmed the video for I Can See You. In. The. Cunard. Building. The Cunard Building, which was built for the Cunard Steamship Company. Nancy Cunard’s family. So now I officially feel like I’ve lost my mind, but I am even more interested in…where this is going and what is the POINT of it all? All of this suggests to me that TTPD has been HIGHLY HIGHLY staged and planned and executed in ways which seem to encompass all of the ideas of modernism, while making reference to modernists and their work (Louie Fuller, Virginia Woolf). She is using herself and her life, as well as them and their works, as the references for the writing. Leaning into the unreliability of her narration, the parody, and the multiple points of views from switching narrators. And that concludes my post on...introducing Nancy Cunard as a highly probable (in my opinion anyway) inspiration for Taylor's work and life, as well as giving even more context and understanding to what we already knew-she's performing. But trying to be sophisticated about it? And trying to point at a lot of references in order to make us think about the deeper meaning. I'm EXHAUSTED. And so happy I've finished this. Thank you thank you to this sub for the assistance, moral support, brilliant information, and incredible connections that make us all more knowledgable and better critical thinkers. <3 <3 <3 |
2024.05.19 06:49 Ok_Start1379 Should I (27F) break up with my (28M) ex-fiancé?
My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?
submitted by Ok_Start1379 to relationships [link] [comments]
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?