I (20F) met a guy (21M) on Omegle last year. Initially, he talked a lot about his ex-girlfriend and how much he missed her, which confused me because he also mentioned having a crush on a girl from his college, but I didn't think much about it. We added each other on Instagram, and he'd randomly flirt with me. I wasn't interested, so I'd brush him off, but he'd send me blurry selfies and call me when he was drinking with friends.
One day, he asked if I'd date him or if he was my type. I said I didn't see him that way, but maybe if he were in my city, I might consider going out with him. He still continued to talk a lot about his ex, and I just let him rant, seeing him as just a friend.
Later, his behavior changed. He started texting me all day, saving my snaps, and updating me about his mundane activities. He even said he was studying hard to get a job in my city so we could meet. I laughed it off, thinking he was joking.
One night, while drunk, he told me he had feelings for me. I dismissed it, thinking he was just drunk. But a few days later, he confessed again, saying he couldn't stop thinking about me. I told him I didn't feel the same way and that he might still be confusing his feelings because of his ex. He insisted he was over her since we started talking, which wasn't very convincing as he used to talk about her any chance he'd get.
Since then, he'd get mad if I posted stories with my guy friends or don't reply to him on time and left him on seen if I'm in class. I felt guilty and explained things to him just because I didn't feel the same way, and I did not want to hurt him, but it became exhausting. He even asked if I might change my mind in the future. I told him I wasn't sure and suggested we take a break from talking, but he refused, saying he couldn't go a day without speaking to me.
He accused me of giving him false hope and flirting back when I was just being nice. I felt guilty for unintentionally hurting him, but I knew I'd never seen him as more than a friend. I even wonder if he actually has feelings for me or is just settling for what's convenient because he knows he can't get his ex back.
When a guy tells me everything he did with his ex, it's practically impossible for me to develop feelings for him. I'm worried about how to handle this when I start liking someone else and he's adamant about staying in touch and was planning to come meet me even after we had this conversation. I still think he believes that one day I'll change my mind and I'm sure he is wasting his time waiting for me
How do I deal with this?
TL;DR: Met a guy on Omegle who initially talked about his ex a lot. We became friends, but now he has feelings for me. I don't feel the same, but he insists on staying in touch and gets upset if I interact with other guys. Not sure how to handle this situation.

I know this isn’t exactly a meme but I didn’t know where else to post this:
Imagine, dear friend, in the tiniest space, Where particles zip and they zoom and they race. With colors like red, green, and blue in the mix, They dance and they twirl, doing quantum tricks.
Quarks are the stars of this quirky parade, With gluons as glue in the games that they’ve played. They stick and they pull with a powerful force, Binding together with no set course.
Up quarks and down quarks and strange ones, oh my! They spin and they shimmer, they don’t just comply. Quantum Chromodynamics, that’s the name of this game, Where the rules are all wacky and nothing’s the same.
So next time you wonder how matter’s arranged, Just think of this tale where physics gets strange. In a world so minute, where the weird things collide, Quantum quirks and their colors make quite the ride!

MAPS Center Ragnarok Gen2 Fjordur

Both of us are 17, we've dated for about a month but we clicked fast & haven't been seperate for longer than two days. Help. Me and my boyfriend were doing amazingly in our relationship, nothing was wrong, we have an active sex life, we communicate but he told me he needed to talk to me today, I promptly met up with him and he told me he cheated on me with his babymama, l laughed and I told him to take me through every step, I wanted to know what he did, how he did it, what position, how it felt and he told me, he said he regretted it and he cried before "finishing", he still ended up falling asleep at her house. I'm torn between giving him a second chance and running while I can, but I really like this guy and
I told him if we want to continue, he has to set clear boundaries, tell her its not happening again; I don't want him in her room unless the doors opened & the kids there. But I think I need advice from others TL;DR! He cheated and I don't know whether to continue

*CONTAINS SWEARING*
This is gonna be a hefty and most likely triggering post for specific groups of people out there (meaning people who struggle with anger, people who don't want poltical content/opinions etc), so please stop reading and leave if you figure this is gonna be rough for you. This will (mainly) be about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. (and apparently a long one) No hate towards any specific groups of people, but I do have a lot of *frustration regarding behaviours*.
Before I start, I want you to remember some facts about me as you read;
I am autistic
I am heavily influenced by world peace, hate, racism and other unfair situations
I have incredibly high standards for myself that I strive to not break, including, but not limited to, being kind and respectful *always*, despite being in a bad mood, not liking someone, or disagreeing, especially political disagreements
I have always, and will always, stand against widespread hate, racism and other discrimination towards any specific religions, ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, etc.
I also want you to know that I named this throwaway accordingly.
So let's get this shitshow started then, shall we.
As the details of the conflict stands, it is beyond obvious to me that this is racism and, literally, a Holocaust. Not *the* Holocaust, but *a* Holocaust. Oxford Languages has the term defined as a destruction or slaughter on a mass scale, especially caused by fire or nuclear war . I'd say that's very much accurate. Proof to come.
Regardless, this situation has had me very pressed the last almost 8 months, as I know most other people have been too. Without getting too much into the conflict itself, I want to talk a little about what I've seen from the Jewish community.
This is where I advise anyone who struggles with anger especially to leave and try to keep your day positive. If you have a magical potion to stay stable after this, who am I to stop you...
Alright, onto the dreaded part. And yes, I am stalling.
I have never, and I truly mean *never* had any hateful thoughts or opinions about religions (other than Christianity but that's one for another time), and as we are all aware of, The Holocaust had massive effect on the world some 80 years ago. I have always seen Jews as victims due to this, but in recent times I've realised that a lot of them, too, see themselves as victims. The issue is that they aren't the victims right now. They (Israel) aren't defending themselves, they have nothing to defend themselves against. Israel is currently doing the exact same thing as Germany did to them, to Palestine. Sure, maybe at some point who knows when, Palestine *was* the land of Jews, but since then, multiple religions have been thriving together on that land, including Jews. They were never excluded. From what I've understood, there weren't any wars or conflicts going on within the country that didn't happen elsewhere. The issue began when in the late 1940's zionists brutally murdered families to steal their homes. I'm sure the situation was so much more complex than that, but in a nutshell that is basically it. The fact that everyone today have been so desensitized from the travesties happening around the world is depressing and hope-killing. I truly am well on the way to giving up, and at this point in time I'm so angry all the time due to the Middle East's situation.
So a few weeks ago, probably closing in on months at this point, I randomly got a notification from reddit about someone posting on /Jewish. They didn't say anything explicit, so I pressed the notification and I was met with the worst victimization and ignorance I've ever seen. I truly believed most jews would see this for what it is, and not let some racist maniac spoon-feed them propaganda and hate, but I was brutally and humbly proven wrong. They were mocking proPAL parades, hating on news anchors and civilians alike calling this a genocide, insisting that Israel has no other choice, saying "casualties happens in war", convincing each other that zionism is a good thing, and feeling sorry for themselves when friends and families cut contact because they said they supported Israel and saw this as the only solution. Some might have been genuine problems, idk, but for the most part, that subreddit seems to only be about hating the rest of the world because their great grandparents were killed. I know I sound like a complete asshole, but the world isn't antisemetic anymore - they are actively looking for it and then using that one person telling them to stop feeling so sorry for themselves as proof that everybody in the world wants to throw them back in gas chambers.
I commented on my personal once where I mentioned that judaism and zionism are two separate things and got downvoted to oblivion. Someone replied saying that my comment was very much exactly what they too feel, but I got downvoted *simply because* I referred to them as separate entities. That is another criticism they've recieved lately; the pure idea of zionism is on the complete opposite side from what Judaism stands for. I've seen so many of the members there calling Jews protesting against Israel "self-hating" and traitors.
I've also made so many replies that I never sent because I know for a fact they would do anything in their power to ban me from ever using reddit again, and I wouldn't be surprised if I got doxxed and harrassed IRL from it. I saved them all, though. I found that it was kind of therapeutic to get it out, but it still bugs me that I never found a way to say it to them. I once also made a post about my rage for their behaviour connected to this genocide, but I thankfully stopped myself before I posted it. I'm so enraged by their sheer ignorance and hypocritical behaviour, all the while Gaza is still being eradicated and slaughtered, war crimes happening day in-day out, inhumane atrocities by the IOF being posted and hailed, and they have the audacity to say that they are the victims? That Israel has no other choice but martyring tens of thousands of CHILDREN? Starving the entire Gaza Strip, segregating West Bank, literally teaching their young in school to hate and attack arabs? That last one might not be true as I don't speak Hebrew or Arabic, so anyone could've just made up the translation, but I still feel it's worth mentioning in case it actually *is* real.
My point is that the guts they have to claim to be so moral, yet still be so unfaced from what's happening in Gaza is beside me. Sure, for those living near the Gaza wall, I'm positive that hearing bombs and screams were traumatizing as fuck, but to then leave for work the next day and claim that "shit happens"? It's insane! It's inhumane. They can leave whenever they like, children can play football (soccer) in the streets and not having to worry about shit, hotels and restaurants with 5-star ratings thriving, plants and flowers still blooming, absolutely no threats on a daily basis. The fact that people are still calling this a war, something necessary, is beyond devastating to me. There are millions still siding with zionism, claiming there's nothing wrong with the belief that you have an innate right to some dirt simply because your holy book says that thousands of years ago, your religion lived there, and simply because of that religious fact you are rightfully owed thousands of young lives, the death of an entire country with its own culture, just to feed the irrational religious political system? How in God's name has that ever, *IS* that still okay? If Muslims were the ones saying that shit, they would've been completely destroyed by now, today's generation wouldn't know what the fuck Islam was. They are still being slaughtered though, because they're saying it's *not* okay. How is that not racist again?
My brother and I got into a heated argument a few days ago about this. I am very much *for* Palestine to have human rights and to own their own land - he is very much *against* "ugly blackies" having any rights because they're *not* human. Boi when I tell you I got so angry I started crying. And the worst part about that fight? He claims that Jews aren't any better, however they still deserve to defend themselves against children running on the beach. "But Hamas-" is so over-used and outdated by now, it just proves that he doesn't follow up on statistics and evidence. Even if there only were one-sided news (from Gaza), the fact that the ICJ ruled Israel's actions a genocide and war crimes still proves everything he claims to be "n*****'s propaganda". And the fact that he so underminds my autism and *need* for factual evidence before discussing it also goes to show that he genuinely does not care about anything other than the black "terrorists" being eradicated. I said "So you're not just a racist, you're just plain racist?" he just scoffed and looked at me as if I just said the most nonsensical bullshit gibberish ever, practically saying "I'm not gonna say anything, but it really took you that long to realise?" Either that, or he actually didn't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth, like it was a foreign language or something. Because he genuinely does not have a single reason to be racist.
He can't even blame suicide attacks because 1) not all are carried by muslims, and 2) between 1981-2015 around 45,000 were killed by suicide attacks worldwide, where in 2019 the total death toll was only 1,699 more than amount of attacks; whereas in Gaza, between Oct 7 to present there are about 34,000 confirmed palestinian deaths, and assumed around 42,000 with unconfirmed deaths. If, in 36 years, "muslim terrorism" killed about the same amount as Israel has in almost 8 months, how on earth are Arabs the terrorists?
And I've also seen the argument that 30,000 is nothing compared to the total population in Gaza, as if that makes it okay. I will, again, make example of The Holocaust. When 30,000 Jews were martyred, people were already catching on, and this was without the technology we have today.
How have we been allowing this to happen to Palestinians *with* our technology today? Why haven't people been doing more; striking our jobs, cummute chauffeurs striking, proper permanent boycotts, more coverage from news anchors and private people alike? Even if it is to officially reclaim your love for white supremacy, you're still talking about it. Why are people still not reading up on this? Why does millions still not know that this *didn't* begin on October 7th? And why are there still those who claim that the past doesn't matter today? I have so many questions, and if I do get an answer I will only end up with more questions. How hasn't the world stopped over this? Why are people so okay knowing that there are children being intentionally murdered every single day? How can you go to work and talk about Dave's new tie? Or your 6 year old's birthday party with 15 other 6 year olds? Hasn't it crossed your mind that if the roles were reversed, your precious princess would be the one burried under tons of rubble, dying slowly while simontaniously starving, dehydrating, suffocating and crushing, and *knowing* that absolutely no one cares because you're [skin color] and it's normal for your kids to be horrendously massacred? "Oh but the Taliban-ISIS-Al Qaeda" OKAY so what are you gonna do to help save innocent lives and suffering??? How are you gonna contribute to STOP these organizations that have manipulated and murdered to rule their country and are intentionally making the citicens miserable? Are you even aware that your own govurnment is essentially the same fucking thing, just disguised as a well dressed, polite gentleman? Aren't you sick of all those ads on TV showing brown children with flies in their eyes? Or your mama telling you to think about the starving children in Africa? Because I am.
I am so sick and tired of how inhumane humans have come to be. You don't see animals (and I'm trying my best to not mention how humans *are* animals, guess I failed) intentionally kill another animal simply because they're that animal. They kill prey; polar bears kill seals, seals kill penguins, penguins kill fish, fish kill amoebas, and you can get to that result from absolutely everything. What you don't find as a natural event is a golden, brown mane lion attack and kill an albino lion simply because it's albino. You don't see a school of fish swim away from one with two heads, because "*omg Jared is such a freak with his two heads*." So why the FUCK DID WE START DOING THAT? Where did this hunger for power come from? You *will* see a female lion tell the king that enough is enough, and he *will* accept that. I could go on and on for DAYS if I got the chance, but I don't wanna get too off topic here.
I've started a list of all the universally illegal shit Israel has done, and once I'm satisfied with it, I'll make one comparing Israel to Palestine, and then Arabs/Muslims as a whole. I can guarantee that I will still hear "on-sided sources" still, or "You can't trust Wikipedia!" Have you ever tried to edit or create an article on Wikipedia? I have, and I had to confirm that I had a degree or a current valid work ID to prove that I was elgible to speak on the topic. I tried to make a site for myself... Sure, there are more trustworthy sites, but even in a discussion about wether or not being trans is a mental illness, where I quoted and linked all of the most well known official sources like WHO, I was still slapped with "but this shady ass article from a random Deutch website that explicitly says everything I've said, yet still isn't actually saying the same thing because I misquoted and mixed the words to form my own sentence says that it is" when they literally linked a website called "disabled world". I will say though, I agree with that name. Today's world is so non-funtional for neurotypical, hetero, white MEN, it's no fucking wonder everyone else are classified as disabled or whatever. Also, on that disabled topic, if you've made it this far, please don't say "differently abled". A quote unquote quote (heh geddit? cuz it's rephrased and I don't have the book near me rn to directly quote) from Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" that I really like: "You wouldn't say "a person with Asianness", you'd say "an Asian person"." We are disabled because today's world isn't made for us, and for the most part isn't even accomodated or accessible to us. We are different, yeah, but literally everyone is. We just got that term because we can't do the same things as you (assuming you're neurotypical) without aid. We are able, just not like you. Of course, if an autistic person tells you they prefer "person with autism", listen to them! But most of us embrace it as a part of us because we can't just get rid of it. Autism is what make me me, I wouldn't be me without my autism, so I *am* autistic, for better or for worse. :)
I find it kinda ironic that I started this as a venting about a lot of Jews' hypocritical behaviour, and now ending up on autism. Yaknow, cuz Dr. Asperger during WW2 experimented and tortured autistic people, and found out that some where more alike him than others, which then coined the term Aspergers for the Autistic Community.
Anywho, I feel better now, so thanks for letting me vent a little (a lot). I want to finish off by restating my intro; I have not, and will not tolerate any hate, racism or discrimination towards any religion, ethnicity, nationality, culture etc. This post is not intended as a rant about how aweful jews are, because they're not. I just wanted to air some frustration over their behaviour regarding I/P genocide. This is also not about *all* Jews, but that's the same discussion as "not all men" so I'll leave it at that.
I will delete this account in a week, so if you have any questions, be fast ig. If you find I've mis-phrased, used irrationally insensitive wording or any other complaints that calls for a repost, I will fix it and post an updated version. My DMs will also be available if that should be of interest, but I will not be responding to hate or personal attacks for my opinions. If the issue is my wording, again, tell me and I'll fix it.
At this point I've written so much that I don't remember if I found anything myself that I figured was worth fixing, and I've proof read it so many times that my eyes are crossing and giving me a headache lol
Gosh I'm scared of posting this. I don't want anyone to read this and think I support what A. H. did in 1940 cuz I cannot begin to describe my hatred for that man

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Throwaway1209aloq posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
Content warning - implied stealthing
1 update - Medium
Original - 31st March 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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Dumped my girlfriend over a joke and I can't tell anyone or I'll look like a psycho.
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My (23M) Ex (25F) and I were together for just under eight months, and like, we clicked. Got along like a house on fire from the moment we met. We had a lot in common from our morals, to our goals, to our taste in music. My family? Loves her. probably more than they do me. (Mom wanted a daughter so bad she couldn't stand it growing up- 4 sons before she gave up.)
It was probably three months ago now that we had been on the couch while I watched a movie and she scrolled TikTok, (Not a TikTok hate post, scrolling can be fun, I'm just more of a Youtube guy.)
Speaking of showing me videos, she showed me one of a man holding his son, and dancing to a song. She laughed and said something about how good I would look as a dad, which was pretty weird considering as far as I knew, both of us were child-free by choice. (God knows I am.) I tried to take it as a joke, and mentioned that it was "too bad, so sad," she would never know. (I thought she would respond something about how there's nothing sad about avoiding it or something. She has never given me indication before this that she wanted children.)
And she started giggling this like, evil giggle, and said something like "I don't know, it only take's one broken condom." In this like sing-song voice that I'm not even joking gave me fucking goosebumps. The implication was clear in her tone. Like, was she making a joke about poking holes in condoms? To me? For real? I tried to laugh it off, but it made me SO fucking uncomfortable. Like skin-crawling levels of skeeved the fuck out. And after that my sexual interest for her was entirely gone, it's like I processed her as a threat or something. To be entirely honest? My libido in general is entirely fucking gone. Still hasn't come back. It feels like it's hibernating or something, until the scary lady is gone.
I know what you're thinking, "Why didn't you communicate?", and I tried, like a couple times, but when she said "Oh my god, I was kidding you big baby!" but never denied that the joke was about that. I dropped it, and stopped bringing it up. I didn't think it was worth the fight at that point, because while I still do care about her, like, a lot, I do not feel comfortable even going to sleep around her, and there is no way that is gonna mesh with a healthy relationship. If there's no trust, there's no relationship, that's how I feel, right? So I broke up with her, and when I told her, I said it was because I really needed to "focus on myself". Didn't see a point in telling her then - it would have just pissed her off. As is, she seemed to take it in stride, not angry, or concerningly upset, so that's good.
My family is more heartbroken than I am, and I haven't been great. They're begging me to reconsider, not that I would, especially considering there's no way in hell I'm telling them anything, my mother would be beside herself, think 'grandchildren please son, give me grandchildren', but more than that, I know even my dad, who doesn't care about grandchildren, and recognizes that he's more likely to get them from my younger siblings, would call me out for overreacting. So they got the same story she did. It's frustrating, because I know it's no big deal, and a joke, but it had also been upsetting, or sad. .
I know I'm overreacting, but in the moment it felt like my only option, and I really don't want to take it back even if I am. I know you may think I'm paranoid, and I probably am, but I just could not stop thinking about it. After she told that joke, I think it was gonna end one way or another, so I'm glad it ended on decent terms instead of trying to stay and fix everything until I hated her.
Sorry, I'm talking a lot, but Like I said, no one to talk to about this because being unreasonable IRL is like a criminal arrest and I'm trying to avoid another of that particular black mark on my reputation. Anyway. Off to research Vasectomies because I will not be entering another relationship, or becoming any kind of active with anyone until then haha.
TL;DR: My ex made a broken-condom joke and I spiraled so hard I ended the relationship, but that's really embarrassing so I half-heartedly claimed it was for self improvement instead.
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Comments
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Birchbeerisawesome
First of all, you are young, and relationships aren’t always going to work out long term. Also, since you had such a strong reaction to the “joke”, it seems like the vascectomy route is going to be your best path going forward! I’m of the firm belief that if you don’t want kids, definitely don’t risk having them! You will be ok in the long run, stick by what’s right for you!
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maximusultra
If you're 100% child free as a dude fr vasectomy is the legit end game , but you have to do the 3 months of condoms or abstinence but also need to beat the shmeat 20x to clear the mag
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absolutemadwoman
One of the secrets in life is: you can break up with someone for ANY reason.
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Update - 1.5 months later
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Well. I never ever thought I would update, but I have one, lol. Like I thought I had lost the password to this account and everything, but it was saved in the notes on my laptop. This isn't much of an update, but I can say that I did end up telling my friends more about the breakup- after I found out my ex is trying for a baby with her new bf, also her ex.
Also I wasn't stalking her to get this information, I live in a small town, and two of my friends came to me and told me. They said they didn't want me to find out from someone else, but I didn't really care outside of the relief that now I was sure that she wasn't pregnant during the breakup, something that had been giving me nightmares- they calmed down. Apparently both of them thought I would react badly to the information and spiral or something. Whatever.
I know a lot of people said I had taken a joke and overreacted, was a cruel-hearted and evil misogynist trying to control her body and everything else, but this just confirmed to me that she was never joking. I mean, its been a little over two months since the break-up, and she's trying to have a baby.
I'm not angry at her anymore, not at all, in fact I'm happy for her, because if this is what she want's good for her. I just wish she could have told me sooner, so as to not waste either of our times.
I've been working on getting a Vasectomy, but as of now it hasn't happened yet. But as I mentioned in the last post I won't be sexually/romantically active to any degree with anyone but my hand until that's completed. I think I'm lightly traumatized- this is a joke, you can laugh! What else? Uhhh.... I'm thinking about getting a new dog? I have nothing else to add here, but thanks anyway.
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Comments
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granny_weatherwax_
You know what? I don't think you broke up over a joke. I think you broke up over a threat. If my partner joked about getting me pregnant by fucking with my birth control, and I KNEW they wanted to be a parent, I would have a really hard time trusting them again, especially without an earnest apology and a straightforward conversation where they acknowledged why the "joke" would be scary.
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Alien_lifeform_666
Absolutely, 100%, that was a threat. She was effectively telling him that she could arrange to get pregnant if she wanted to, and there’s nothing he could do about it. That’s breakup territory.
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Ok_Budget1724
Interesting perspective - I’ve been begging for an IUD but have made similar jokes in the past - fully anticipating he would be wearing a condom or having plan b effective / an abortion as worst case scenario. I think getting a vasectomy if YOU don’t want children is important. I stopped traditional birth control for health reasons / disorganisation but always let that partner know.

OOP: Yeah, I explained it in the last post to a degree, but I didn't really get into my medical anxiety. I have it a lot, and even when I made my last post I knew I was going to have to get one, because I realized trusting someone else with my future- no matter how trustworthy they may seem- isn't enough. I have never, and never intend to have sex without a condom. Even after the vasectomy, and every woman I've been with sexually has expressed that they are also childfree, and are on birth control of some kind. I am not into taking chances. I wouldn't mentally be able to handle having a child, and I would be a terrible father. I knew it was my time to take it into my own hands after last time, but was still extremely nervous, to the point I was considering becoming celibate, just to avoid the possibility all together.
It was actually the men, and wives of men on reddit who reached out after my last post, and explained that they understood the nerves, and they were natural, but that it really wasn't as scary, or as painful as it sounds. I am very thankful for that, because it helped me to get up the balls (pun not intended), to bring it up with my doctor and start the process. Some even gave me advice on how to deal with the healing process, which I have fully taken under advisement.
I'm hoping that afterword I feel the same way they do: Confused and frustrated with myself as to why I didn't do it sooner.

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello there!
I grow a lot of tropical plants that require higher humidity so I set up terrariums for them. Because of this I often run into unwanted pests (mites, aphids, etc.). I could solve the situation using traditional methods but I think it would be so much more fun to set up a self sustaining system. I want to set up a bio-active enclosure and was wondering if anyone had an recommendations for what kind of frogs would fit my needs (eat tiny tiny insects). I doubt the pests in my terrariums would be enough to sustain a frog population so I would feed the frogs too. I was thinking about trying dart frogs but I wanted to hear what you experts had to say. Thank you so much for your time!
tl;dr best frog to eat small tiny pests like aphids ?

With Shadow of the Erdtree more or less a month away, I've gotten back into Elden Ring to train my skills after a long leave of absence. I've already cleared and I'm currently on NG+ with a RL 200 character, and I'm thinking of changing up some of my gear for different play styles.
In particular I've always been wanting to train my parrying and capitalizing on crits, so I +25 a Misericorde and I'm decent enough with it, against NPC's anyways. However I'm curious to know what would be the best Ashe of War for it? Atm, I have Royal Knight Resolve and gave it the Heavy infusion, since I'm a strength build. However I'm having a bit of difficulty getting the timing of my parries and RKR proc'd together to capitalize on the damage. More often than not once I get RKR active, the enemy isn't staggared anymore and I just swipe em for a hefty but not critical amount of damage.
Not to mention just about all of my weapons are Heavy infused, since I'm a Strength/Faith build, but I'm curious to know if there's a better type I could use. Before it was nerfed I used to have Flame of the Redmane on my Executioner Axe, but I'm guessing it's stance breaking potential isn't nearly as potent as it used to be. Still would be nice to find an ash that pairs well with the Misericorde and my stats.
I also got some Larval tear so I'm open to respeccing, though I would like to maintain a strbuild since that's what I'm most comfortable with. Been debating going into int these days but I don't know if it's worth doing sorceries since it's not going to be my primary.
tl;dr I'm a stfaith build and I need to know what ash to put on the Misericorde.

I(15M(do t know if underage posts are allowed but ok) had a confusing revelation today. I gotta give some background though. Basically till high school I didn’t have nearly any friends. I kept trying to form friendships with people that I was probably better off not being friends with. I changed my personality so much because I desperately tried to conform to other peoples views of a “good friend.” But being as socially AwKwArD as I am, still didn’t make many friends until I started acting immature and kind of let a personality that’s not me be me. I was so desperate to find someone that liked me for who I am(I didn’t even know who I really was at the time(still don’t really)) so I put myself out of my comfort zone at the time just to try to find someone outside of my family that actually loved me or even actively wanted to be around me. Every. Single. Time. I ended up making a fool out of myself, I fell for someone’s obvious lie about wanting to go out with me, I was laughed at for asking someone to a school dance in middle school. I thought that would all change in high school and it did but not in the way I hoped it would. I got some friends that I like but don’t really like me but rather just the part of me that I don’t know if is really a part of me or just my affliction to make friends(idk if that makes sense) and I even went to homecoming with someone freshman year(turned out to be a flop but what do you do?) I ended up making friends with more mature people like seniors in my robotics team thinking maybe these people I hold in high standard would be good for me to learn from but it just didn’t end up being as simple as just talking with them a bunch or liking what they liked. Thinking about all that’s happened over the last two-three years had made me realize two things: 1. I’ve been (and am) always in a state of feeling lonely 2. I don’t know if anyone will ever love me for who I am and not just this show I put on for all these people because I’m fed up with the pressure to have friends.
Alright the tmi is over. Today I went to my sisters’ play to help setup and do the cast party. Most of the cast is also my age. I chatted with a few of the fellow sophomores and finished eating and everything. At the end of the party, someone that I talked to for less than a minute came up to the group of people I was talking to(her friends) and told me I was hot. Now I later came to find out she says this to a lot of people as a joke, but when I found that out, a fellow sophomore said that I am attractive though. I by no means am attractive. I’m not really ugly just not the best looking(bushy eyebrows, other minor stuff) definitely below a 6/10. I realized at the time, it felt good, that was the single first compliment on ME, not my actions, that I had gotten in months if not years.
I’ve been thinking about this for the last few hours. This might seem desperate but I do really want a girlfriend, I’m not very picky and am already good friends with so many wonderful girls but don’t think I’m their type/like that to them.
TL;DR Semi-Unattractive teenager doesn’t know how tf to handle compliments. Unloads on Reddit about how down bad he is for someone to care about him more than just a text. I don’t know how to handle serious relationships with adhd and need help.
Obviously mods if I can’t post this the. Take it down but I’m in need!

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?

I (21M) am really passionate about physical activities like running and climbing, and I even won some medals when i was 18 yo. I love eating well and staying fit as it improves my physical performance. I'm 6'3" and very slim. However, a few months ago, I had a vasectomy which sidelined me from exercising due to some recovery issues, leading to a bit of weight gain and a more sedentary lifestyle.
Recently, I mentioned to my girlfriend (25F) that I wasn't happy with my body because of this slight weight gain. She got very upset and cried, saying she felt terrible because she has a level 1 obesity. She asked if I didn't like my body with a bit more weight, how could I like hers with more fat? I tried to explain that beauty is diverse, and how I feel about myself doesn't reflect how I feel about her body. She doesn't believe me, thinks I'm lying, and now feels very insecure. We've been dating for 3 years and 2 months. What should i do?
TL;DR: I said something about my own body and she took it personnal and now she's feeling insecure about it.

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?

TW: CSA, SI
TL;DR: Some bitches simply can't be trusted but some formerly bitch families can maybe make some growth? WUT.
I'd (30sf) lived with my roommate (30sf) for a decade and known her for even longer. I disclosed to her 1.5 yrs ago, after integrating EMDR into a VERY long CPTSD healing process early in the pandemic. She was so, so kind and understanding in the beginning. We'd been best friends for so long, that I genuinely feared calling her family, because family has such negative connotations for me, but lately, I was finally saying it more often.
Since the start of this year, my EMDR has primarily focused on the peak of my suicidal ideation and how it's entangled with my sibling-on-sibling CSA. It has been a rough and exhausting effort, but all things considered, I'm actually "doing" quite well, as much as one can under such conditions. I'd started FMLA leave from work because, SUPRISE, trauma causes lifelong physical ailments and chronic illnesses, and my roommate had reassured me we'd be re-signing the lease that we had less than a month left on, so I would at least not have to worry about housing.
I had one bad night. One bad night of zero sleep, fighting off the nightmares for the thousandth time, begging and pleading to just finally rest, and that's all it took. I called her out the next day over leaving her two-day old dish full of thawed chicken water in the microwave, and finally broke. I know I said a lot of delusion shit (that I immediately-and repeatedly-apologized for for days after, after I'd regained my compusure/grip on reality), but we discussed it for days after and scheduled a therapy session for as soon as we could get one to figure out what went wrong in our communication that night.
She couldn't even wait that long. After a week of the silent treatment (partially because she got mad at me for asking her to mask up while I was on medical leave--while she had active COVID, for the 4th time--and was still going out because she "had plans"), she started a fight with me out of nowhere, broke me down into a fully blown flashback, and then literally ran away from my weeping (which I have done--outside of a therapeutic setting--exactly 3x since my diagnosis). Then she came back the next afternoon (while I was literally in the process of hanging pictures we'd bought ages ago) saying she wouldn't be re-signing the lease. It wasn't even a discussion. She just decided and that was that, no matter how stunned I looked, how much I sobbed and shook, or the fact that I am unpaid right now, see some new specialist t every other day for this shattered brain or broken body, of the fact that we live in HCOL city where, even if I was working, I wouldn't be able to afford somewhere solo.
But the worst part? During her monologue, she tried to claim I had somehow blamed her for my CSA during my trauma tantrum from a couple weeks earlier.. Now I know in general, my shortterm memory has been fucked by the EMDR crossing-the-timelines mindfuckery, but I know myself damn well enough to know I did not and would never place the the blame on her, because why even in the actual hell would I? Folks, this woman used to be a public prosecutor assigned to the children's sexual abuse unit. You can't make this shit up.
And if that weren't all bad enough, in my immediate panic, I had nowehere left to turn, so I had to call my family for help, and because I had to explain why I wasn't working and undergoing all sorts of medical procedures, and after YEARS of So. Much. Fucking. "HEALING." I just gave it all up. Told my parents for the first time. Told my brother, my primary abuser, for the first time. (He'd admitted many times over our adult years that he blacked a lot of his/our childhood out, and I have always believed him, because he was likely abused himself by someone else first.) He apologized. Profusely. And even agreed to start therapy. My parents apologized, in their own way, by promising to help with rent. Of all the things. Of all the fucking things...I wasn't expecting that. While part/a lot of me is cautious to accept any sort of help from them (because obvie), I am genuinely impressed, and grateful, that they are at least pulling through on this one.
It's been a confusing few weeks and people are complex.

After seeing Angry Turtle's video on utilizing Herbivore Serums to suppress the negative downsides for the namesake mutation, I noticed that for some reason Seared Venison with Berries benefits somehow from Herbivore Mutation - but only when its negatives are suppressed. My best guess is that Seared Venison has both the Meat and Vegetable flags, so when Herbivore's negatives aren't suppressed, the game sees the "Meat" flag and rightfully excludes its buffs. But when that negative is suppressed, it sees the "Vegetable" flag and doubles its bonus.
This means that with Strange In Numbers active, it gives 8 LCK - or 11 with Live & Love 3/Backwoodsman 6. Getting 25 LCK as a non-Unyielding player is actually pretty easy, relatively - 15 LCK to start, then an additional 5 from Legendary Luck. Add in Herd Mentality + Strange In Numbers - that's +3. Now put on a Shielded Vault Jumpsuit, that's another +2. You're now sitting at 25 LCK - and with Herbivore's negative suppressed, you can eat a Seared Venision w/ Berries for that 8 additional LCK.
15 + 5 + 3 + 2 + 8 = 33.
Is it the most economical avenue? Nnnnooo, not really. There's the cost of buying the Serum Recipe itself (17,500 caps with maxed CHA), the Serum costing Stable Fluorescent Flux, and then Seared Venison itself requires 3 Radstag Meat and 3 Starlight Berries on top of the 2 each of Pepper and Purified Water. But - it is achievable. You can even skip the Shielded Vault Lining if you want to just rely on the 30 minute buffs from either the Fortune Teller, Slot Machine, or Bowling Ball Arcade.
TL;DR Full Health can reach 33 Luck due to Seared Venison somehow both benefiting and not benefiting from Herbivore, but it's a big investment.

I’ve been in about 5 serious romantic relationships since early high school and I’ve initiated the breakup in all of them. Is it weird to not really feel bad about each one?
The last two really stand out to me. The first one lasted a year, we fell in love and out of nowhere intimacy died 3 months in. I need to feel physical intimacy to really feel loved so after trying for 9 months I dumped him. He was crushed, but i didn’t really cry or feel much regret for the situation. Of course I felt bad for him and wasn’t ruthless or mean when I broke up with him, I just didn’t really feel loved myself and didn’t want to feel like a roommate. I was mostly just relieved I could put mental energy into myself.
2 months ago I met this amazing man. He’s my type, romantic, good career, we can talk about everything and anything, i’ve never been able to talk to someone so genuine in my life. I don’t really believe in soulmates, but he’s pretty close to one. Today he told me he’s not really willing to be long distance, and i broke things off with him because i need to stay and take care of my family. He was destroyed, but I can’t help but feel indifference towards the whole situation. My friends told me this is sorta weird behavior, is this wrong?
I feel bad when I hurt people, but I don’t feel hurt myself when this happens. I’m not depressed, I don’t have this indifference towards anything else really, only when we break up. I just think there’s plenty of fish in the sea and if this one didn’t work out, it is what it is. I have a very active life, good job, and hobbies I pursue every day, but i’m not too busy so they get in the way of relationships. i have a lot of free time. Is this a symptom of something? should i stop this? i dont really know how
tl;dr i don’t really feel sad after breakups i just think there’s more people out there and i move on practically the moment it happens is that weird?

Report from the Contact Underground: Joseph Burkes MD interviewed by Jeffrey Mishlove
In 2019, I was interviewed by Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove for his TV series, “New More Thinking Allowed.” Our conversation allowed me to give a detailed history of how I got involved in volunteer contact work as an extension of my peace and social justice activities from the 1960s into the 1980s. I describe the initial efforts of my Los Angeles based fieldwork team as we staged HICE, Human Initiated Contact Events, aka CE-5s.
I share the stories of many exciting encounters in which UAP intelligences showed me how they employ illusions as mechanisms of contact. From those experiences I now believe that the phenomenon can only be understood by examining the central role of consciousness in the contact drama unfolding worldwide.
Please take note of the following. At around one hour and six minutes as I am talking about lights that appeared on the ceiling of a fellow contact worker, a tiny orb can be seen moving across my right chest in the left-hand side of the video image. It can be best viewed on a large screen computer monitor or a TV. One viewer wrote that by slowing the playback speed the small light became more visible. This “visual display” might be a technical artifact or may have a more anomalous explanation. As I like to joke, “Once you join the contact underground you might never be lonely again.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZJigRsbPBM&feature=youtu.be

In 2019, I was interviewed by Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove for his TV series, “New More Thinking Allowed.” Our conversation allowed me to give a detailed history of how I got involved in volunteer contact work as an extension of my peace and social justice activities from the 1960s into the 1980s. I describe the initial efforts of my Los Angeles based fieldwork team as we staged HICE, Human Initiated Contact Events, aka CE-5s.
I share the stories of many exciting encounters in which UAP intelligences showed me how they employ illusions as mechanisms of contact. From those experiences I now believe that the phenomenon can only be understood by examining the central role of consciousness in the contact drama unfolding worldwide.
Please take note of the following. At around one hour and six minutes as I am talking about lights that appeared on the ceiling of a fellow contact worker, a tiny orb can be seen moving across my right chest in the left-hand side of the video image. It can be best viewed on a large screen computer monitor or a TV. One viewer wrote that by slowing the playback speed the small light became more visible. This “visual display” might be a technical artifact or may have a more anomalous explanation. As I like to joke, “Once you join the contact underground you might never be lonely again.”
Joseph Burkes MD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZJigRsbPBM&feature=youtu.be

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Wide-Area-6779
His mistress made him a better husband. I feel nauseous.
Ongoing
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, physical assault, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post Nov 22, 2023
This is a throwaway. I’m just nauseous and want to vent please let me do it here?
Everything changed about 3 years ago and my husband became my dream man. Before that, we suffered a lot in our marriage. After 2 hard pregnancies and PPD my libido was diminished and we fought all the time. After 4 years of dead bedroom we started therapy. I thought that was where the improvement came from.
My husband started paying attention to me. In the beginning I was panicking because whenever he paid me attention before he expected sex but now it felt like he was seeing me as a human being for the first time. He was attentive and caring. Emphatic. He touched and cuddled and kissed me out of the blue, without wanting sex in return. He started helping around the house, bringing me flowers, take out dinners when I work late, planning date nights. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are planned perfectly and I started getting the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. When we fought, he would come the next day and admitted his wrongs and very accurately (if he was the one in the wrong) something he never did before. He would apologize too when back in the days him apologizing would be a blow to his ego. He said he was happy all the time and lucky to have us as his family. Everything was better and I even got my libido back if not as high as I hoped.
I found their conversation about 5 days ago and I have probably spent over 50 hours reading them. 3 years worth of conversation. He would tell her his woes and she would listen. 99 out of 100 times she sided with me. She taught him about intimacy and how important it is in marriages. The tragically funny part is that he never got angry or offended by her telling him off. Calling him silly, stubborn or at times man baby. Her honesty was brutal and yet he agreed with her. She was the one suggesting all the changes and he would ask her for advice about gifts, traveling and all the beautiful things he did for our family.
He thanks her all the time for helping him turn his miserable home life around, making it tolerable. With all these texts there were the texts between them that are about them like nobody else existed around them. The flirting, sextalk and pictures. The longing to see each other.
He says she is the love of his life every day and that he wishes their circumstances were different. She says the same. They both agree that divorce would ruin their families and that they couldn’t be that selfish. how admirable!
I feel nauseous. My happiness for the past three years was fake. I don’t know what to do. I want to hurt them. I want to expose them and I want to ruin whatever they think is perfect happiness
Hi!
I’m getting chat requests about my comments not being visible. Is this normal? I’m trying to answer you guys. Sorry
Hi again
Since I can’t comment and I can’t answer all the chats I will answer here
I am 35. My husband is 39 we have two children 9&7
She is 40 and she has one child 14. She is in a dead bedroom with her husband too and for 14 years.
The affair is physical too yes but they meet maybe once every month or every other month. She tells my husband that what they feel is probably limerence but that they don’t know it yet because they meet so little. She lives in another city
Update - My husband left me after I told his mistress’s husband about their affair. March 19, 2024
I was here some weeks ago, with my original post. I finally decided that I really should reach out to the husband of my husband’s mistress. I found him easily and I contacted him. He didn’t believe me at first and was rude about it and told me to go f myself. I hesitated to contact him again to be honest but after a few days I realized that I would too not believe a stranger just popping in my dms accusing my SO of cheating so I recorded my husband’s phone with my phone. Especially the messages where she’s sent explicit photos and stuff. I also went to the contact to show the number. He didn’t answer me the first day then he called me the c-word and blocked me. I thought well then, I have done my part and it’s on him if he believed me or not. Then after a week my husband came home angry and he yelled at me for exposing them. He asked me why I didn’t confront him instead, my problem was with him. I have never seen him yell like this then he packed a bag and left for about a week. I think he’s traveled to her.
When he got home he said that it was over. He said that he has been trying to make me happy for years and he’s done everything a good husband would do but still, nothing was good enough for me. I’ve made him miserable for years and instead of taking it out on him, I chose to hurt a woman and her child. He moved to his parents house and now he’s renting an apartment I have heard that he travels the weeks he doesn’t have the children to be with her and that she’s moving here soon when she gets full custody of her child.
I have not been feeling well at all. He has never spoken to me directly since he left and I haven’t seen him. He adamantly refuses to talk to me. Like I never existed in his life. I don’t know what I have done to deserve this treatment. I hate that they won.
RELEVANT COMMENTS

So basically your cheating ex is trying to blame you for him cheating. The delusion of cheaters.
You only informed the mistress's husband that she couldn't keep her legs closed to a cold breeze.
He had a right to know. Onwards and upwards.
UpdateMe

OOP

He didn’t blame me for anything. He doesn’t care that he cheated. He was only angry that her husband hurt her and her child.
Maybe my post was this convoluted that everyone here is thinking he is trying to put the blame in me? He doesn’t care at all. He just thought that I should have confronted him instead because he was the one who cheated on me.
I told everyone around us what he done and he doesn’t even care

~
List-and-dumbfound

The last 3 years of your marriage were a lie. You know that now. Who he is the person he treated you before his affair partner had to convince him to be good to you. He is not a good person.
Do they even really know each other? Like how it is to be around each other on a daily basis. They are genuinely dumb to think the list will stay with 3 kids around plus handling chores and day to day things of life. They have 2 custody battles ahead of them and divorced on top of it.
If he’s angry with you the next time you have to see him, ask him why? He got what he wanted. He wanted to be with her and now he is. So why is he angry that you gave him what you wanted.
It’s probably shame that he’s painted to be a cheater. Not he can’t manipulate the narrative and paint you as the bad person.
If what they won is each other? Let them have each other. They are both awful people so they deserve each other

OOP

He is not angry about the divorce. He is angry I told the husband instead of him because the husband hurt her and her kid

DrNefariousMcFarious

He’s not angry bc of that, he always assumed that if you found out he could gaslight you into thinking that it was somehow your fault or not happening, but by you telling the other husband, there was no getting around it.

OOP

No he is angry about me putting his AP in danger.. he gives zero fucks about staying in our marriage or not. He only was with me to help raise the children and probably wait for her to get rid of her husband. I am not trying to he dramatic here but the soon I realize the truth the better is is for me to move on I think

I want full custody of my children after he went and beat up his mistress’s husband within an inch of his life and ended up in jail. Mar 22, 2024
This morning I got a call from my mother in law that my husband has been in jail for the past couple of days and only got out this morning but the charges weren’t dropped. Apparently his mistress and her husband had another altercation last weekend and she ended up hurt again.
Now I want full custody of my children. He is out but charges are not dropped so it will probably lead to some punishment. I don’t know if family court would count this in case I want full custody and supervised visits. My mother in law was hostile when I told her this and she’s one of the people who have supported me so I am expecting some push back. I don’t care.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
inquiryreport

You probably should not have let your MIL in on this idea. Her first reaction is going to be that it will threaten her ability to see the grand kids and her son’s ability to be a father. Even if you think she is on your team have to assume she isn’t.

OOP

Yeah it was a big mistake

NEW UPDATE

He celebrated Mother’s Day with his mistress and her son May 12, 2024
Thank you so much for staying in touch and I am so sorry that I cannot answer your dms. I haven’t been active on Reddit and I have received tens of dms every day since my posts. I have been trying to adjust to life as a single mother. It is hard and especially the weeks I don’t have my children. Unfortunately, I could not convince court to give me sole custody even with my husband’s pending legal issues due to him not having any priors. He however succeeded to limit my family’s access citing parental alienation. I am not allowed my children around my family without supervision (MIL). All of this actions are temporary however until we get a court date. He is refusing to meet or talk to me for any reason besides texting about the children.
He is not in jail (for those who are asking) he has no priors so he is out. He will probably not be getting any jail time either but rather parole. Anyway, his mistress has secretly recorded some of the abuse she was getting from her husband and she has sole custody of their child now. She has moved to our city and she and her child are living with my MIL. Yes, MIL and from what I have gathered, she lives with my husband on the days I have the children.
Today I was out with my children and my friend and her children to have mother’s day brunch. I was the happiest I been for months because I got a bouquet of flowers and chocolate that is signed from my children (worlds best mom) and I knew that it was from my husband. Anyway when we arrived to the restaurant, there he was with his mistress and her child. They were celebrating mother’s day too. Her son was sitting between them and she had gift papers and flowers all around her on the table. I froze and wanted to leave but he came and apologized and said that he didn’t mean for this. She was crying and hugging her son. I wanted to faint because my children were so excited to see him and wanted to go inside and eat brunch with their dad. He told our children that it was mommy’s day then he asked me if I wanted her to leave so the children can have lunch with both of us. I just left with the children and took them to McDonald’s instead. He sent me a long text saying how sorry he was and how he wished that he loved me as much as I deserved and that he wished me to find love soon. He doesn’t regret our marriage and hope I don’t either because we got our beautiful children out of it that we need to raise and to not punish them because of what he did. Please let us not let our resentment of each other to spill out on our children. Let us promise to keep them happy and loved. Let us not use them as pawns. I asked him what I lacked that she has. A question that have been living rent free inside my head He said to stop this. This is futile. I insisted and I called him and he answered for the first time in months. I told him I wanted to know. No matter how harsh the truth was I can’t live without knowing. He said Mothing. I lacked nothing and she is not better in any way. He just loves her and loves himself when he is with her. He feels real and genuine happiness with her that he never felt in his entire life. I hang up and he texted I am sorry. This is the truth you asked for. You are not less than. You lack nothing. Please let us give our children the good life they deserve. Don’t hurt them to hurt me
I don’t know what I have done in my previous life to deserve this. The way he was with her. He never looked at me that way not even when we first met. I don’t know how to stop thinking about them. It is in my brain all day. I want full custody of my children and I will fight for it as much as I can. She will never be their step mother. Her custody is not finalized either and hopefully she will have to move back to her city so her husband can have visitation rights and she is out of my life. If my husband wants to move to be with her. My children stay with me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP told to be careful around the husband, and asked what his mother thinks

Well I am not stupid and he can record me all he wants because I was very calm and I genuinely agree that the children come first. Even her child tbh. But I know that she only had emergency custody of hers because of the assault but I know the rules here and she will probably need to move back soon because her husband has right to meet his son. In that case my husband can move away but he can’t have custody because I want a stable home for them. I don’t know why I am getting hate in my dms calling me vindictive.
I am very grateful to you and others who are mentioning that she is coaching him to say things. Of course! How stupid was I not to figure this out. From not talking to me for a second to being all nice and begging me to forgive him and to keep it amicable? Of course it is her. Even mother’s day flowers was probably from her.
MIL is very devastated about what happened and she visits me every day even when the children aren’t home. She said that she had to take her in until she gets her own place. No she is not allowed to meet the children and it is already decided and MIL is making sure this is not the case. I understand that MIL chooses her son but she hasn’t given up on me.
I have talked a lot with mom about what happened and no she doesn’t feel guilty. She said that it was different (of course it is🙄) hers was real love and dad’s ex was very abusive. I don’t know, I don’t believe in karma or anything but she said that she at least understands now how dad’s ex felt. I feel anger because some people win and some lose and I still love him very much. I regret exposing what happened. At least I could have had 4 more years together. And the children would have been a bit older. I regret so much things that I have done in a moment of grief and anger

OOP When told to be careful what she puts in text messages and once again be weary of the mistress

Thanks. I have been very careful about texting because as I am keeping all the evidence, I am counting on him doing that too. About his mistress, it is less “evil” than that because I was wrong about her recording the abuse. She stole the surveillance her husband had installed around their house to spy on her. MIL told me this today. She is probably hoping for full custody but I know the rules here and he will have right to see his son no matter so the c-word will have to move back sooner or later.
Only them I will be asking for full custody if my husband moves with her to her city because I don’t want a part time father to my children who shows up whenever he pleases. I want stability. He is either a father or not

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Experiences from the medical world regarding certain topics (these are not my comments):
.
"-self-diagnosed, unconfirmed and typically incorrect - and unfortunately perpetuated by unsuspecting PCPs who trust their patients' reports and presume the diagnosis was confirmed (i.e., did not confirm as above). When the PCP refers to a specialist for management, that specialist says wut?, then then the patient ends up with me.
-Doctor shoppers. This is elevated to a fine art by some. I get referrals who have already been seen by the diagnostic clinics at half a dozen top tier US university diagnostic clinics already - I typically refuse these because I doubt I have anything to add, I have a 3 - 6 month-waiting list - not fair those with no workup yet.
-Many have psychiatric or behavioral or personality disorder component that plays in. Sometimes it's mild, especially in the form of secondary gain. Many lobby for a disability label to get out of working, but seem able to work.
-Some seem to have real psychiatric disease. These folks almost always refuse a psych referral.
-Full blown Munchausen Syndrome, or MS by Proxy, the latter of course is the ultimate can of worms for pediatrics."
.
"Of course food allergies, FPIES, EOS and mastocytosis are real. The problem is when parents live on forums, and get told "you need a better doctor"., and it's really diagnosis (x).
My allergist had a ton of self referrals until covid hit. Now the clinic plays hard ball on a full work up before you get an appointment. He got tired of parents on a mission, with a consult from Dr. Google."
.
"Like Lyme disease, MCAS was hijacked by quacks.
Basically, the scheme involves:

• Taking a real problem that impacts a small number of people
• Claiming it causes many problems in many people
• Falsely claiming to be an expert in the condition and peddling fake diagnoses
• Selling fake treatments for the fake diagnoses
• Crying conspiracy and persecution if anyone questions you

The above applies to Lyme, gluten problems, MTHFR, vaccine injuries, heavy metal toxicity, bartonella, babesia, and other dubious diagnoses frequently sold by those who market themselves as functional, integrative, alternative, holistic, and naturopathic.
In a book excerpt, Dr. Jonathan Howard explains the psychology of fake diagnoses. Lists of non-specific symptoms are used so that the diagnoses can fit almost everyone.
Two of the top MCAS charlatans are business partners Lawrence Afrin, MD and Tania Dempsey, MD. Both advertise as "integrative" and have been associated with the dangerous pseudoscience group ILADS. Dempsey admits that she thinks 80+% of her "chronic Lyme" patients have evidence of MCAS.
See also:

• Doctor, I Think I Am Suffering from MCAS: Differential Diagnosis and Separating Facts from Fiction
• AAAAI Consensus about MCAS31116-9/fulltext)
• Dr. Alan Khadavi: Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS): Fact & Fiction"