My grandpa just died, and his service is this week. He was very religious and had conservative beliefs. By the time I came out to my family, his dementia was bad enough that it was difficult to hold a conversation with him. Therefore, my partner never met him.
I plan to fly back for the service, and my partner wanted to come as well to support me. My mom has asked me if my partner could skip the service to avoid any drama since it is happening at a conservative church and since it might upset my grandma, who would be meeting my partner for the first time.
My immediate family did not respond well to me coming out, so while this request upsets me, it is not a complete surprise. While we’ve made strides over the last three years, making sure my partner feels welcome and included in my family has been a constant battle and a point of tension between us.
I never want to do anything that would make my partner feel excluded or further distance them from feeling like family. But I can see that this is a less than ideal situation for them to meet my grandma and my mom was super apologetic to even be asking. Overall, I’m mostly just upset that I constantly have to advocate for my relationship and fight for the respect and the validation that straight couples in my family never have to work for.
How do I decide whether this is a fair request from my mom, or if this would be me siding with my family over my relationship? I’m having a difficult time navigating the pressure I’m feeling over this while also grieving the loss of my grandpa.
TLDR: should I tell my family that my partner will be coming to the funeral, or ask my partner if they can stay home?

*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility

Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread

Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taking in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
- I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
- I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
- I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.

Comments for the Chat Thread

You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
- I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
- I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
- Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
- Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
- There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
- My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?

A few notes:

Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.

Welcome to This Week In KPOP, a collection of everything you may have missed during the past week on kpop.

May 11, 2024 - May 17, 2024

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+3146)	CL shares new 2NE1 pictures in honor of their 15th anniversary	125 comments
2	(+2423)	tripleS have earned their first ever music show win for "Girls Never Die" on SBS M The Show (240514)	129 comments
3	(+1941)	fromis_9 Receives Love Calls + Comeback After Calling Out Neglect from Agency	99 comments
4	(+1849)	Ailee to marry Single's Inferno's Choi Sihun	109 comments
5	(+1795)	29 year old sentenced to prison for posing as BTS members to obtain unreleased tracks	89 comments
6	(+1666)	7 Members' Agencies For Kep1er Reportedly Agree To Extend Contract — Yeseo And Mashiro To Join LIMELIGHT Instead	299 comments
7	(+1587)	TWICE Nayeon to have her comeback on June 14	55 comments
8	(+1552)	TWICE's Dahyun Reportedly Cast As Female Lead In Korean Remake Of Taiwanese Film "You Are the Apple of My Eye"	83 comments
9	(+1404)	KISS OF LIFE Confirmed To Make Summer Comeback	54 comments
10	(+1193)	Fire At M! Countdown Filming Studio Results In aespa's Comeback Recording Cancellation	81 comments

HYBE vs. ADOR

Votes	Thread	Comments
(+361)	Megathread 5: HYBE vs. ADOR - Ongoing Dispute, Meetings Ahead, and More	6276 comments
(+437)	Megathread 6: HYBE vs. ADOR - Insider Trading allegations, MHJ Injunction Hearing, and More	6338 comments

TOP ANNIVERSARIES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+3141)	CL shares new 2NE1 pictures in honor of their 15th anniversary	125 comments
2	(+370)	Happy 9th Anniversary to MONSTA X!	14 comments
3	(+209)	Happy 6th anniversary to UNI.T!	18 comments

TOP 10 PERFORMANCES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+1031)	[Live] Comeback Stage: aespa - Supernova @ Mnet M Countdown (240516)	63 comments
2	(+557)	[Song Cover] XG Chisa, Hinata, Juria - Losing You (orig. FLO) (XG Vox #6)	39 comments
3	(+336)	[Performance] IVE - Accendio (1theKILLPO)	18 comments
4	(+295)	[Live] Follow-up Stage: IVE - Accendio @ Mnet M! Countdown (240516)	16 comments
5	(+279)	[Performance] tripleS - Girls Never Die (M2 Relay Dance)	16 comments
6	(+238)	[Live] Follow-Up Stage: tripleS - Non Scale @ SBS M The Show (240514)	7 comments
7	(+214)	[Live] NMIXX - Love Me Like This, Roller Coaster, DICE, Run For Roses, DASH @ 2024 Sungkyunkwan University Natural Science Campus Festival (240516)	19 comments
8	(+110)	[Song Cover] NMIXX Bae - Flower (orig. Johnny Stimson) (MIXXTAPE: Track 06)	2 comments
9	(+109)	[Performance] BADVILLAIN - Hurricane (Live Clip)	1 comments
10	(+105)	[Song Cover] Ailee and NMIXX Haewon - Wild Flower (orig. Park Hyo Shin) @ KBS Synchro U Episode 2 (240517)	2 comments

TOP 5 DANCE CHALLENGES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+167)	tripleS Xinyu (with SEVENTEEN JUN) - Girls Never Die (Dance Challenge) (240511)	2 comments
2	(+148)	TripleS Xinyu (with ZB1 Zhang Hao) - 'Girls Never Die' (Dance Challenge) (240517)	7 comments
3	(+93)	SEVENTEEN Jun (with tripleS Xinyu) - MAESTRO (Dance Challenge) (240511)	1 comments
4	(+89)	aespa WINTER & CHUNGHA - Supernova (Dance Challenge) (240514)	0 comments
5	(+82)	tripleS Nien & Xinyu (with NMIXX Sullyoon) - Girls Never Die (Dance Challenge) (240512)	0 comments

TOP DISCUSSIONS / FEATURES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+42)	Throwback: JUN HYO SEONG made her solo debut with "Good-night Kiss" this week in 2014	1 comments
2	(+24)	/kpop Top Ten Tuesdays Results: P1Harmony (2024)	4 comments
3	(+21)	JTBC Girls On Fire - Episode 5 (Post-Episode Discussion + Preliminary Ranking + 72-Hour Survival Game Performances Part 3 + Second Elimination + Rival Death Match Performances Part 1) (240514)	7 comments
4	(+24)	What Are You Listening To? - May 15, 2024	30 comments

MUSIC SHOWS

Date	Performances	Discussion Thread	Winner
20240511	Music Core	Thread	SEVENTEEN
20240512	Inkigayo	Thread	ZICO / JENNIE
20240514	The Show	Thread	tripleS
20240515	Show Champion	No Broadcast.	No Winner.
20240516	M!Countdown	Thread	SEVENTEEN
20240517	Music Bank	Thread	SEVENTEEN

NEW RELEASES

Day	Artist	Album Title	Type	Music Video
11th	You Dayeon (ex-LIPBUBBLE)	keep it low	digital single	keep it low
12th	JO1	Love seeker	Japanese pre-release single	Love seeker
13th	Stray Kids	Lose My Breath (Remixes)	remix single	Lose My Breath (Stray Kids Ver.)
	aespa	Supernova	pre-release single	Supernova
	ALICE	MILKY WAY	digital single	MILKY WAY
	ZEROBASEONE	You had me at HELLO	mini album	Feel the POP
14th	Chaewon (CLASS:y)	Americano on a rainy day	digital single	Americano on a rainy day
	DXMON	HYPERSPACE 911	single album	Girls, Love boys, Love girls
	WHIB	ETERNAL YOUTH : KICK IT	single album	KICK IT
15th	ITZY	Algorhythm	Japanese single album	Algorhythm
	We;Na	Step like We;Na	mini album	Baby Step / Valhalla
	The Wind	Sirius Part. 2	anniversary single	Sirius Part. 2
16th	UmYull	Love Innocence	digital single	Love Innocence
	Mark (NCT)	200	digital single	200
	Ryu Sujeong (Lovelyz)	Orange Juice	digital single	Orange Juice (feat. Yein (Lovelyz))
17th	Sorn (CLC)	crazy stupid lovers	digital single	crazy stupid lovers (feat. Hongseok (PENTAGON), WILD)
	257	BLACK OUT	debut single album	BLACK OUT
	MEANSHOCK	The Promised Flower	digital single	the Promised Flower (feat. Byeol Eun (ex-Melody Pink Eunbee))

"This Week in KPOP" Archive

Jacques Attali, Noise: The Political Economy of Music (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1985).
Antonin Artaud, Watchfiends & Rack Screams: Works From the Final Period (New York: Exact Change, 2004).
Derek Bailey, Improvisation: Its Nature And Practice In Music (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1993).
Stan Brakhage, Essential Brakhage (Kingston, NY: McPherson, 2001).
Paul Celan, Breathturn into Timestead: The Collected Later Poetry (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2014).
Aleister Crowley; Scott Michaelsen (ed.), Portable Darkness: An Aleister Crowley Reader (Sun Vision Press, 2012).
Guy Debord, Donald Nicholson-Smith (trans.), Society of the Spectacle (Detroit: Black & Red, 2000).
Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (Boston: Back Bay Books,1976).
Richard Foreman; Gerald Rabkin (ed), Richard Foreman (Art + Performance) (Boston: PAJ Publications, 2005).
Martin Gayford, The Yellow House: Van Gogh, Gauguin, and Nine Turbulent Weeks in Provence (New York: Mariner Books, 2008).
Jean-Luc Godard; Tom Milne (ed., trans.), Godard On Godard (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1986).
Heraclitus, Fragments (New York: Penguin Classics, 2003).
Lewis Hyde, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, Twenty-fifth Anniversary Edition (New York: Vintage, 2007).
Paola Igliori, ed., American Magus Harry Smith: A Modern Alchemist (Inanout Press: 1996).
Harry Mathews and Alastair Brotchie (eds.), Oulipo Compendium (Los Angeles: Make Now Press, 2005).
Nicolas Slonimsky (ed), Lexicon of Musical Invective: Critical Assaults on Composers Since Beethoven’s Time (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2001).
Toru Takemitsu, Confronting Silence: Selected Writings (New York: Scarecrow Press, 1995).

(source)

Salutations brothers and sisters in Christ!
I ask Gemini to write a proposal or concept for creating an "Autocephalous Western Rite Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America" and it did not disappoint. Question I posed to Gemini was "Helping write a proposal to Establish one Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America to help unite all Christians in America under one common belief and cultural identity." How many others have used AI tools to help write or research and how might it help benefit the creation of information and dissemination of information about Christian Nationalism as well as the creation of our "Autocephalous Western Rite Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America"? How might we use tools like this to further our cause and help push our boundaries and message to others?
*Start AI*

Proposal: Establishment of the Autocephalous Western Rite Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America

Introduction
The American religious landscape is richly diverse, with a large and growing Christian population. However, the fragmentation of denominations presents challenges to unity and a shared Christian identity. This proposal outlines the establishment of the Autocephalous Western Rite Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America (AWRHOA) as a vehicle to unite Christians in America under a common set of beliefs and a distinctly American cultural expression of Orthodox Christianity.
Core Principles

Autocephaly: The AWRHOA will strive for autocephalous status, meaning self-governing and independent of any other Orthodox Church.
Western Rite: The AWRHOA will embrace the rich liturgical traditions of Western Christianity while adhering to core Orthodox doctrines.
Apostolic Succession: The AWRHOA will maintain apostolic succession, ensuring a connection to the early Church through a lineage of bishops.
Openness and Inclusivity: The AWRHOA will welcome Christians from all backgrounds seeking a vibrant and welcoming Orthodox faith community.

Benefits of Unification

Shared Identity: AWRHOA will provide a unifying force for American Christians, fostering a sense of belonging and shared purpose.
Enhanced Witness: A united Church will have a stronger voice in American society, promoting Christian values and engaging in social issues.
Preservation of Tradition: The AWRHOA will offer a home for those seeking a traditional form of Christianity while embracing American cultural expression.
Interfaith Dialogue: AWRHOA can serve as a bridge between Eastern and Western Christian traditions, promoting mutual understanding and cooperation.

Challenges and Considerations

Ecumenical Recognition: Gaining recognition from established Orthodox Churches may be a complex process requiring theological dialogue and potential adjustments.
Liturgical Development: The AWRHOA will need to develop its own distinctive liturgical practices, drawing from Western traditions while adhering to Orthodox principles.
Clerical Leadership: Finding qualified clergy who represent the diverse needs of the American Christian community will be crucial.

Moving Forward

Establishing a Preparatory Committee: A committee composed of clergy, theologians, and laypeople will be formed to draft a constitution, develop liturgical practices, and establish a roadmap for achieving autocephaly.
Open Dialogue: The AWRHOA will actively engage with established denominations, fostering open dialogue and exploring opportunities for cooperation.
Grassroots Outreach: Efforts will be made to reach out to Christian communities across America, sharing the vision of a unified Church.

Conclusion
The establishment of the AWRHOA presents a unique opportunity to address the fragmentation within American Christianity. By offering a bridge between Eastern and Western traditions and fostering a distinctly American expression of Orthodox faith, the AWRHOA has the potential to unite Christians and serve as a beacon of hope and fellowship.
Please Note:

This proposal is a starting point and can be adapted to reflect the specific needs and goals of the movement.
Further research on Orthodox Church structure, autocephaly, and the history of Christianity in America is recommended.
Consider consulting with religious scholars and legal experts to navigate the complexities of establishing a new Church.

*End AI*
Not going to lie, I was slightly taken aback by it's usefulness!
Peace be with you Brothers and Sisters in Christ!

Salutations and greetings brothers and sisters in Christ.
Having posted last week about the current situation and end state/long term objectives, I would like to identity what the current state of the country is in relative openness to meeting our criteria. A lot of what I write comes from research sources from government websites (such as the US Census Data), research websites from trusted sources (such as the PRRI), or good primary source content from creators or first-person perspectives. Today I want to share a report from PRRI that I references previously in my post about end state and objectives. This will lay out what states have the highest concentrations of support for Christian Nationalism based on research, large groups/concentrations of Orthodox Churches, Large groups/Concentrations of Mainline Protestant churches, and then large groups/concentrations of Evangelical concentrations/groups. Using this data we can distil down to the various different states that would have the highest success rate for growing support for our objectives and end states.

Large groups of mainline protestants function as a potential recruiting opprotunity. As these churches become liberalized and lose membership/die out, it allows for those aligned with our values to recruit and convert these individuals co-oping them into the cause.
Large congregations of Orthodox Churches can be used as a staging ground for the Neo-Orthodoxy revival within America and support the conversion of these churches into an Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America. Our objective number 1 for achieving our end state.
Large support for Christian Nationalism already exists within Evangelical Christianity. This means while conversion to the Neo-Orthodoxy movement to achieve our first objective, it is not strictly necessary if individuals join Evangelical Christian groups which support Christian Nationalism.
These three sources of Christian believers to support the desired end state for Christian Nationalism is essential.

If you recall from my previous post Objective 2 to meet our end state for the Nation is as follows: "38 out of 50 states within the United States must have greater than 50% Christian Nationalists adherents living within them by 2058. (creates super majority)." In this post I identified that we have to focus on 38 states to build up a primary base for changing the geo-political landscape by altering the socio-cultural landscape via Western Anglosphere focus Christian values. Specifically, I call out for a Western Right Orthodox Church of America but any congregation which aligns with Christian Nationalism would suffice. Just that Western Right Orthodoxy would be a solid cornerstone/foundation which would have the structure and adherence rate to survive greater than 80+ years rather than the mercurial protestants denominations which shift like sand. However, if those denominations can stand firm long enough to enact true political reform, amending the constitution, then it is worth to bring those denominations into the fold and act as one body of Christ.
Looking at the data from PRRI: Data Here You can see the breakdown of the different states which have high or higher percentage of support to the cause of Christian Nationalism. What this means for us, is it allows us to narrow down to our targeted 38 states we need to achieve our objectives. While we want to be advancing on all fronts, these 38 will have the highest chance of making mounting or achievable impact on Christendom at large.

As previously stated: "New York, Massachusetts, Oregon, Nevada, Maryland, Virginia, Illinois, California, Washington, Connecticut, and New Jersey are below the 25% general support for Christian Nationalism." What this means is that while we should try and spread the cause in all directions to all different states, these states have the lowest chance of it catching flame or finding a foundation.
Interestingly enough however, many of these states have large concentrations of old Orthodoxy residing within them: California, Massachusetts, Illinois, New York, and New Jersey all have large amounts of Orthodox Concentrations. Data Here Sadly they are drowned out by large amounts of non-Christians within these locations. New York, Illinois, and California have large amounts of Mainline Protestant which have the highest amounts of potential pickups of those leaving the denominations after becoming super liberalized towards Orthodox/Christian Nationalists sympathetic groups. Data Here
What this means is that while growth opportunity exists in New York, California, and Illinois we will struggle to gain and maintain a majority within the state just do to the demographic nature and the percentage game. Not that it is not worth our time, but we cannot rely on it. That said we could focus efforts in select swing districts at the local/congressional level in New York, California, and Illinois to possibly bring about pushing them towards the bubble and eroding hyper liberal power bases.

With the date for mentioned, we would have to conclude that these 11 states are not reliable for our growth and target objectives. Again, as with the case of New York, Illinois, and California, growth opportunity exists but not enough to justify targeting those states. Our focus now shifts to the bubble/swing states that we can make a difference to bring to the fold.

As previously stated: "Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Arizona, Utah, Rhode Island, Delaware, Colorado, Hawaii, Pennsylvania, and Michigan are on the 25-29% cusp of supporting Christian Nationalism. Growth opportunity exists but could easily swing the other way.". What this means is that we would need to focus on these swing states and select at least one to focus our attention to bring it above the 30% thresh-hold for sustained and consistent push towards the cause to for fill our objectives.
The largest concentrations of Mainline Protestant denominations and Orthodoxy residing within them is Pennsylvania, with Michigan and Wisconsin in solid second place leading the others. Arizona and Colorado are behind Michigan and Wisconsin but hold a solid base in both Mainline and Orthodoxy. Meaning it would not take much to swing Colorado and Arizona to be more inline with our stated goals that we need to achieve.
Out of the rest, Hawaii might be the biggest outlier and most difficult to change do to geographic reasons. While a solid base for what we wish to accomplish exists, the demographics of such a place are working against us in % of population vs base. I would advocate for throwing out Hawaii and placing it into the below general support category.
Utah is a special case. Mormons, which would best be classified as a wild card, dominate Utah politics along with other Christian denominations. Forward progress will be difficult in Utah, but it might be more of a dialogue than a genuine need for conversion/bringing Utah into alignment.
What this means is that Delaware, Vermont, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and Maine will be the long haul in this process to round out our 38 required states to align with the Anglosphere Western Right Orthodoxy / support for Christian nationalism. Naturally Vermont and Delaware will present interesting challenges. It would require demographic changes and construction of large amounts of mission work and proselytizing. Alternatives would have to be sought for these two otherwise if needed: Viriginia and New Jersey are likely candidates given the high number of Orthodoxy or Mainline protestants vs Delaware and Vermont.

This leaves us to the 38 states that we have to focus on to achieve our objectives on the strategic level for the United States to regain the conceptualization of Christian nationalism dominated by our Western Right Orthodox Church of America focused on preserving the ideals of Anglosphere cultural and societal roots forward for the next 80-120 years.

Alabama, Alaksa, Arizonia, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware*, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey*, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah**, Vermont*, Virgina*, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
Delaware and Vermont can be changed for New Jersey and Virgina respectively which is the reason for the call out. Utah is also a special case given its high Mormon population.
Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona have unique opportunities with the largest growing non-white Christian Nationalists groups: Hispanics who are Evangelicals. Continued growth in this area can eventually turn all four corners into solid supporters for our socio-cultural fabric which we wish to layout. Of them, Colorado faces the most pushback but growing areas of support.
Different regions within the 38 states are going to have to move/work in different ways to achieve our objectives. Just because a state has +30% of Christian Nationalists support already AND might traditionally thought politically as a "red" state, that does not mean they align with our core values or end state. New Mexico and Arizona are wildly different than Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia. Requiring different approaches to changing the views on a local level.
The flexibility of Mainline and Evangelical Protestantism is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. The common faith shared across state borders and regions does not always align culturally or politically. One socio-cultural norm must exist. While sub-cultures are welcome, they cannot deviate from the overarching Anglosphere cultural norm which must dominate to align the whole country with our values and preserve the Republic.

This goes into the objective number 1 to meet our end state for the United States and Christian Nationalism. As stated previously: "Establish one Autocephalous Western Right Apostolic Holy Orthodox Church of America with Romanian, Russian, and Antiochian ceding to this new Orthodox Church with establishment of a Patriarch of America." This will create a large common Holy and Orthodox Church of America that will allow for Anglosphere dominate cultural to thrive from the local/micro level all the way to the macro-country wide level. The church will function both culturally and religiously to preserve our common Anglosphere dominated values and Western conceptualizations of rights within our Republic.
As always, please let me know what you think and what can be done to improve. Is this too wordy? Is everyone able to follow along fairly well? Let me know or join the conversation!

Welcome to HorrorLit's weekly "What Are You Reading?" thread.

So... what are you reading?

Community rules apply as always. No abuse. No spam. Keep self-promotion to the monthly thread.

Do you have a work of horror lit being published this year?
in 2024 HorrorLit will be trying a new upcoming release master list and it will be open to community members as well as professional publishers. Everything from novels, short stories, poems, and collections will be welcome. To be featured please message me (u/HorrorIsLiterature) privately with the publishing date, author name, title, publisher, and format.
The release list can be found here.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
Trouble
Waffles
Future Husband Brian (FHB)
Cookie
Peter Pan
Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Hey everyone, first time posting here. I’m about 30 sessions in on an Icewind Dale campaign I’m running for my home table. One of my players is a Paladin for the church of helm that may have broke his oath. I wanted to reach out to you guys for some feedback on if he broke his oath and what to do next.
A quick summary of his story is that the church of helm he grew up in is in somewhat of a negative place in the world. In recent years the church of helm has shrunk in size and those left just act like guards for their cities (think wall guard from attack on titan). He is on a quest to accomplish a grand feat and become the “Grand Prior” or new face of the Church of Helm. By undergoing the grand quest to fight end Aurils reign, he is attempting to bring the view of the church to a more positive place.
One of the main things he learned in his years of religious training is that lycanthropes and similar monstrosities are a danger to society and go directly against what Helm stands for. When he took his oath, he vowed to cleanse the land of Aurils evil and all the monstrosities that threaten the people of Tentowns.
During my last session my players were ambushed by a group of werewolves. These werewolves have a strange strand of lycanthropy that was influenced by a group of hags that worship Auril (remember this for later). During this encounter my groups Paladin contracted lycanthropy from a bite attack. I had this roll for the lycanthropy save be private so no other players knew the outcome. He rolled a natural 1 on the save against it. The next hit he took brought him down. He then rolled a failed death save. On his next turn he rolled a natural 1 on his next death save.
At my table we roll a special die that steers the overall narrative at times which we call a “scrawl save”. Whenever a player is called to roll this die it usually maps out how things are going to go for that players impact on the world or how the parties luck will be for the next session or two. These “scrawl saves” are usually very important and campaign altering rolls. The die only has marking for a critical success, success, failure, or critical failure, no numbers.
Since this was a thematic moment which was about to be the first death in this campaign, I allowed my Paladin to roll a scrawl save to see if this new mutated version of lycanthropy would kick in and save the Paladin like a parasite protecting its host. He rolled a success. I had him pop back up at 1hp in his werewolf form. The party then protected him and ended the fight.
My Paladin saw the roleplaying aspect of what happened and went with it. He was trained his whole life to despise the thing that saved his life and he became. Does this mean he broke his oath? Since He became a monstrosity and spawn of the evil power he swore to his god he would destroy I am conflicted with how to set up the next steps for him. What do you guys think I should do with this going forward? Any advice is welcome.

Church anniversary welcome poem

My (30F) family asked my partner (29) to stay home from funeral because we’re a queer couple