Printify is a print-on-demand (POD) and dropshipping platform that allows you to create and sell custom products without having to hold any inventory.
I’ve been testing it out, and trust me, there’s a lot to explore. With over 900 products to choose from – everything from clothes and games to pet gear, accessories, and home decor – you’re bound to find something that catches your eye.
But here’s the burning question — Is Printify actually worth using? Does it deliver on its promises? That’s what we’re here to figure out together.
In this in-depth review, I’m diving deep into everything Printify has to offer. We’ll look at its features, pricing plans, and most importantly, its pros and cons.
Hopefully, by the time we’re done, you’ll have a clear idea of whether Printify is a good fit for your creative ideas and business goals.
So, buckle up and let’s get started.

What is Printify and How Does It Work?

Printify is a leading print-on-demand service that allows users to create and sell custom products without managing inventory or upfront costs. They connect users to a network of print providers who produce and ship products directly to customers.
The company was founded in 2015 in Riga, Latvia by Artis Kehris, Gatis Dukurs, and James Berdigans.
Since launching nine years ago, Printify has become a go-to platform for over 6 million merchants. Together, they’ve sold a staggering amount of products — over half a billion dollars worth.

How Does Printify Work?

Now, let’s talk about how Printify works and here’s a brief overview of it:

• Sign up and create an account: The first step is to create a free Printify account.
• Choose your products: Browse Printify’s extensive catalog of products, including t-shirts, mugs, hoodies, phone cases, and more. Select the items you want to customize and sell.
• Design your products: Use Printify’s free mockup generator or upload your own designs to create unique products.
• Connect your store: Integrate your Printify account with your online store (e.g., Etsy, Shopify, WooCommerce). This allows you to automatically sync your product listings.
• Start selling: When a customer places an order in your store, Printify automatically receives the order details.
• Printify handles production and fulfilment: Printify’s printing partners print your design on the product and ship it directly to your customer under your brand.
• You get paid: You set your own retail prices for your products. After Printify deducts its costs (product and shipping), you keep the profit. So, that’s how the Printify system works.

Printify Features and Functionality

Printify comes with many powerful features that make it one of the best print-on-demand (POD) services on the market. Let’s kick off this Printify review by looking at these features in more detail.

#1. Integrations

Printify works seamlessly with all the big names where you sell online, so you can reach more customers and grow your business.
Whether you’re using your own website or an online marketplace (or both), Printify’s got you covered.
Here’s a quick list of all the places you can connect Printify to:

• Your own website: Shopify, Wix, Squarespace, BigCommerce, WooCommerce, PrestaShop
• Online marketplaces: Etsy, Amazon FBA, Walmart, eBay

And if you need something a little more custom, they’ve got an API for that too.

#2. Product Catalog

Printify has a huge catalog with over 900 fantastic products to choose from. Just for comparison, their biggest competitor, Printful, only has around 230.
With Printify, you can find everything from t-shirts and mugs to doormats, wall art, festive decorations, phone cases, and even gift wraps. This gives your business so many choices and the freedom to offer your customers something for every occasion.

#3. Shipping

Printify takes care of everything after your customer clicks “buy.” They print your design on the product and ship it straight to their door.
This is a huge time-saver, as you don’t have to worry about packing or shipping anything yourself. You even get to choose the return address on the package, so it looks like it’s coming from you.
One thing to keep in mind is that Printify doesn’t offer custom packaging yet, which could be a drawback if you’re trying to create a unique brand experience.
Also, remember that the advertised shipping time isn’t always the same as the actual delivery time, which might take a bit longer.

#4. Order Management

Printify also helps you keep track of your orders. You can easily see how many sales you’ve made and track the progress of each order, whether it’s in production, on hold, ready to ship, or already out for delivery. It’s really useful for checking on how your business is doing.
The only downside is that each place you sell your products (like Etsy or your own website) has its own separate dashboard for orders.
It would be even better if they had one main dashboard where you could see all your sales in one place, no matter where they came from.

What Makes Printify Special?

Ever wondered why so many people rave about Printify? It boils down to two awesome things: more choices and bigger profits.
First off, they blow other platforms like Printful out of the water with their massive selection. Seriously, there are nearly four times the number of products to choose from. That means you’re bound to find something your customers will go crazy for.
Second, Printify usually puts a little extra cash in your pocket with each sale. Yep, you get a slightly higher profit margin per item, and who doesn’t love that?
Bottom line: more choice + more profit = a winning combo for sellers like you.

Printify Pricing: Which Plan is Right for You?

Using the Printify platform itself is free. You can create an account, design products, and integrate with your online store at no cost.
You only pay when you order a product, either as a sample for yourself or to fulfil a customer’s order. The cost of each product will depend on the specific item, the printing options you choose, and the shipping destination.
Printify also offers a Premium subscription plan for high-volume sellers, which gives you a 20% discount on all products and additional features for $29/month or $24.99/month if billed annually. However, this is optional, and the free plan is sufficient for most users.
Here’s a quick breakdown of Printify pricing packages:

PLANS NAME	FREE	PREMIUM
Price	$0	$24.99 per month (billed annually)
Stores Per Account	5	10
Product Designs	Unlimited	Unlimited
Product Catalog	Yes	Yes
Integrations	Yes	Yes
Customer Support	24/7 via live chat or contact form	24/7 via live chat or contact form

You can find more information about Printify’s pricing and subscription options on their website.

Printify Setup Process

I had a really smooth experience setting up Printify. All you need to do is create a free account to get started. Once you’re in, you can browse their product catalog, upload your own designs, and pick what you want to sell.
The big thing is connecting Printify to your store, whether it’s your own website or online marketplaces like Etsy. I connected mine to both Shopify and Etsy, and it was an easy process because they’re all built to work together.
If you’re using Shopify like me, here’s a quick rundown of how to connect Printify:

• Head to your Printify dashboard and click on “Manage My Store” in the upper left-hand corner (under your store name).
• Find Shopify in the list of options and click the “Connect to Shopify” button.
• Type in your Shopify website address and click “Connect.”
• Follow the steps to install Printify on Shopify.

By the way, you can also do this from within Shopify if that’s easier for you.

Is Prinitify Easy to Use?

Printify is easy and simple to set up. I had no trouble uploading my designs onto the products I wanted to sell, and connecting my store was super simple.
Creating a custom product was surprisingly easy — just pick the product, choose your provider (who will actually print it), upload your design, add some variations, and publish. My new product was ready to go, and automatically synced with my store.
One thing I really liked was how Printify takes care of everything after the sale. Once your store is connected, any orders that come in are automatically sent to Printify. They handle the printing, shipping, and everything else, so your customer gets their order directly.
There are tons of products to choose from, and you get to pick who you want to print them. This gives you a lot of control over the quality, how long it takes, and how much it costs. It’s a great way to make sure your customers get exactly what they want.

Printify Security System

Printify does a good job of keeping your account safe with its built-in security features, but it also gives you some extra tools to control your security.
You can decide if you want to approve each order before it goes into production, get notified when your order is shipped, and even automatically send delayed orders to production so you don’t have to worry about them.
One thing to note is that Printify doesn’t let you add extra users to your account, so you can’t set up different roles and permissions for them.

Printify Customer Service and Support

Printify offers multiple channels for customer service and support, such as:

• Help Center: Their comprehensive Help Center covers various topics, from getting started to managing orders and payments. You can browse articles or search for specific issues.
• Live Chat: You can chat with a virtual agent, Snappy (who can answer many common questions and guide you to relevant resources), or request to speak with a live support agent through the chat feature on their website.
• Contact Form: If your query isn’t urgent or you prefer email communication, you can fill out a contact form on their website. They will typically respond within a short time frame.
• Order-Specific Support: If you have a problem with a specific order, you can report the issue directly from the order details in your Printify account. This helps expedite the resolution process.

Printify doesn’t do phone support for everyone (unless you’re on their Enterprise plan) but don’t worry.
Their live chat is open 24/7, and anyone can use it. I gave it a shot and was really happy with how fast they got back to me and how helpful they were.
Honestly, it was way better than most other live chats I’ve tried.

Who Is Printify Best For?

Printify is best for:

• Entrepreneurs and small business owners: who want to start or grow an online business without investing in inventory or equipment.
• Creatives and designers: who want to sell their designs on a variety of products, without having to worry about production or fulfilment.
• Ecommerce store owners: who want to expand their product offerings without having to manage additional inventory.
• Social media influencers: Individuals with a large following who want to offer merchandise to their fans.
• Anyone looking for a side hustle: Those who want to start an online business with minimal upfront investment.

Printify is not the best option for:

• Businesses that need complete control over the production process: Printify partners with third-party print providers, so businesses may not have as much control over the quality or production time of their products.
• Businesses that need large quantities of products: Printify is better suited for small to medium-sized orders.

Printify Pros and Cons

I’ve used Printify myself and it’s pretty awesome for print-on-demand. It has some downsides, though.
Here’s my quick take on the biggest pros and cons I’ve found.
Pros:

• Free Forever Plan: A generous free plan with no product limits for up to five stores is a fantastic entry point for beginners and small businesses.
• Beginner-Friendly: Easy to use, even for those without prior experience in e-commerce or print-on-demand.
• Large Product Selection: With Printify, you’ll find tons of awesome products to customize – from clothes and accessories to home decor and everything in between.
• Unlimited product designs on all plans: This flexibility lets you experiment with different designs without restrictions.
• Free Mockup Generator: This is a valuable tool for visualizing your designs on products before you start selling them.
• Easy Integration: Seamlessly connecting Printify to your existing website or online marketplace saves time and effort in setting up your store.
• Global Reach: The shipping network allows you to reach customers worldwide.
• Shutterstock integration: This provides access to a vast library of high-quality images and graphics that can be used for product designs.

Cons:

• No Custom Packaging: This can be a drawback for those who want to create a strong brand identity. You won’t be able to add your logo or custom designs to the packaging.
• Shipping Can Be Slow: This can be frustrating for customers who expect fast delivery, and it can also lead to negative reviews.
• No Phone Support: Limited to email and chat support, which may not be ideal for urgent issues.

Printify Review: Final Thoughts

Printify is a game-changer for sellers like you and me. It frees us from the hassle of stocking up on products we might never sell. Instead, we can design custom apparel, accessories, and more, and only make them when someone orders.
As a business owner, I know how much time and energy each customer order takes. That’s why I love how Printify simplifies things and takes some of the load off my shoulders.
Sure, Printify has its downsides. Shipping can be pricey and slow, and the product quality isn’t always consistent. But with a little extra research on their forums and ordering samples beforehand, I’ve had a great experience with them.
If you’re looking to build an online store without the headaches of inventory and shipping, Printify is a fantastic option. It gives you easy access to creating, ordering, and shipping your own unique designs.
Well, that wraps up my review on Printify. The best way to see if it’s right for you is to give it a try – their free plan is a great starting point. Just click the button below to sign up and explore what Printify has to offer.

Date started: 1/1/2024
Date watched: 5/20/2024
Nacho Libre is a movie where Jack Black is the cook at a Mexican monastery and orphanage, but he dreams of becoming a luchador. But wrestling is apparently considered a sin, and the sexy nun Jack Black has a crush on disapproves of it. At least, until the plot decides she should change her mind.
This is a comedy, and Jack Black is a funny person, but unfortunately this movie just isn’t very funny. I did laugh a handful of times, but most of these were at things that I’m positive weren’t intended to be funny. Maybe I would’ve found it hilarious as a kid, because a lot of it is potty humor, or Nickelodeon sitcom-level slapstick. And, by the way, this is a Nickelodeon movie. Oh, and the plot? Have you ever seen any movie about sports or wrestling? It’s that.
The whole way this movie comes together just feels awkward. Scenes start and go nowhere and disappear without anything funny happening. And sometimes Jack Black will just be jumping off a cliff or doing some sort of action, and they’ll throw in a stock fart sound effect. Like, the sounds that show up when you look up “fart sound” on Youtube, which you’ve heard a thousand times. I’ll admit, it was so unexpected that it got me a couple times. Also, there are so many awkward pauses and scenes of characters just staring blankly into the camera. I swear, half of Nacho Libre’s runtime is just shots of people staring, whether it’s Jack Black mugging for the camera, expressionless children, or dead-eyed old Mexican men.
I don’t hate Jack Black. He’s fine, he’s a funny guy. But I don’t believe everything he touches turns to gold. And with a movie like this, there wasn’t much he could do.
5/10

AUTHOR'S NOTE
This is going to be a side project that will get slowly updated, if ever. It's a fun idea I have been mulling over for a few months now, but don't see myself fully committing to it in the future. It's not going to be the main story I am working on, nor will it ever be referenced in other chapters unless I explicitly say so in the author's notes.
This is an alternative timeline for The Skalgan, and this will begin in the middle of Chapter 20. As such, the first half of this chapter will be identical to the first half of that chapter.
Enjoy.
Memory transcription subject: Dr. Rebecca Taylor, M.D., Ph.D., Human exchange program participant, U.N. Therapist
Date [Standardized human time]: February 3, 2137
I quickly tightened my grip around Jorlka’s paw to reassure him. His breathing had stopped, and his tail movements became a bit erratic.
“If you are NOT okay with this, then it’s fine. We would never want you to feel pressured into something you are not comfortable with doing. Nobody will be upset with you.”
I do not fucking care how much Havingsway bitches at me. I will protect Jorlka.
“I-I-I… I mean… How would…” His eyes were darting around, examining my face all over, like his was trying to decipher information that wasn’t there.
“Jorlka, breath. Please.” I let the hand on top of his paw go and reached to his back to lightly pat it. His eyes shut tight at this and he did as I asked, letting in a long breath and holding it. For bit longer than felt comfortable. “… Okay, now exhale.”
He released the air with a loud pant.
“Do… Do you want to… Here?” His face was still maintaining that bright orange glow all over, from the tips of his ears to his snout. I would be swooning over this adorable vestige if I didn’t know that the person in front of me was incredibly stressed.
“No, not here. We’ve got a room set aside for you. Private. Nobody will be there with you.”
“N-No… Nobody?” He started to calm down and his expression and look in his eyes switched to one of puzzlement. “Then… How would you…” He paused as he struggled to find the words. “I can’t… Not without help?”
“What do you…” I returned his puzzled look with one in kind, then focused on the paw I was holding.
Claws. He can’t… Male Venlil don’t… OH MY GOD. I am fucking pissed at myself for never even considering that before. He thought that I was going to… OH MY GOD!
I looked back at him, right in the eye. “Th-that’s not a problem! They’ve got special tools and materials in the room so that you can do it without help! And if there’s anything you need, I’m certain the staff would happily help you get it.”
We already know there are enough Venlil who would jump at the chance. Hell, Havingsway is desperate enough that he may both figuratively and literally bend over for this… Fuck, I would even call Freya down if you asked.
“I… I see.” He had finally calmed down enough to start thinking properly again. “And… This is needed to fix my people?”
“It’s not absolutely needed. Our scientists, Human and Venlil, are more than capable of undoing the damage that the federation caused… But your samples would expedite the work by… God, probably years.” I dug my fingers into the wool on his back as I comforted him. My god, his wool was even softer and smoother than Freya’s was, and I love running my fingers through hers.
“I see…” Jorlka repeated himself, and closed his eyes, becoming lost in thought. We sat in silence for several moments, and I continued to gently caress his paw in one hand and embraced his back with the other. He could take all the time he needed; I was no rush.
“… V-very well. I… I’ll do it.” His eyes opened again and looked at mine again.
“Are you certain? It’s perfectly okay if you don’t. I promise yo-“
His ears and tail lashed with irritation. “Please, just stop before I do actually change my mind.” His voice cracked slightly. His performance wasn’t as convincing as he had hoped, but it will have to do.
“… Alright. Come, I’ll take you down.” I helped him to his feet and lowered the hand to the center of his spine. We made our way out of the office and down the hall without any words. His ears were still twitching erratically from time to time, clearly indicating that his thoughts on this were mixed.
There really wasn’t much else I could say or do to alleviate his stress. If he’s found the confidence to go through with this, then we’ll capitalize on it. We got down to the furthest part of the wing, and there stood two individuals in white lab coats. A male human and a female Venlil: Dr. Havingsway and Bilvi.
The two of them introduced themselves and offered to take Jorlka into the room behind them.
I turned Jorlka to me one more time, away from the pair. “Okay, Jorlka. Are you sure now? There is no judgement or shame if you have second thoughts.”
Havingsway stared daggers at me as I said these words. I glared back quickly, with a look that said ’I will find a baseball bat’. I swear to fucking god, I might actually turn violent if I get wind that these two pressured him. The message was received as he averted his eyes from me with a brief flash of fear.
“I’m… I’m fine. I need to do this.” I pulled him into a hug, giving him a reassuring embrace, and whispered into his ear.
“My office is just back down the hall. Come back right away, okay? I’ll be there for you, even if you back out.”
His breathing hitched, and he softly replied back. “… Thank you.”
I released and let the pair of doctors take him through the door. I watched as it closed behind him, then turned back to my office.
[Time advancement: 40 minutes]
He should have been back by now… I think. How long do male Venlil...
I shook my head to rid myself of that thought. I actually didn’t want to know. I turned my head to look at my water kettle which had finished boiling. I emptied a packet of instant coffee into a mug and poured the water in after it.
There was a ding from my computer, indicating that I just got an email. Thank goodness, I’d been going a bit stir crazy. Jorlka is scheduled to be my entire day today because of how important he is, so I haven’t had much to do but worry about him.
I poured in a packet of sugar, and a little cup of real cream that I swiped from the special cafeteria–I’ve never liked the non-dairy stuff–and stirred the mug with a plastic spoon as I returned to my desk to check the email.
Sitting at my desk, I set the mug aside and opened my mailbox, to find that I had received a new message from the team responsible for handling information from the Archives. They were the ones responsible for sorting and getting back to each of the different alien societies that were negatively impacted by the actions of the Federation. They were also the ones that had found Jorlka’s cryopod.
This is unusual. I figured I was done talking with them now that Jorlka was safely brought back to his home. I opened the email.
[ERROR. ERROR. ANAMOLY DETECTED IN TRANSCRIPTION.]
[RESUME PLAYBACK? Y/N]
[Y]
[RESUMING PLAYBACK]
Dear Dr. Taylor:
We have recently come across a new discovery in the Archives: Additional files pertaining to the Venlil that was originally found within, as well as a shocking new revelation.
He was not the only one. We have found a second pod that was buried away in the furthest depths, forgotten by the archivists themselves. We scoured all records pertaining to the Venlil and only found a single file that references this Venlil.
Attached to this email is an image we have taken of the cryopod and its occupant, as well as the relevant files. We believe this Venlil has ties to the one that you have already been working with, so we will be sending this pod to you for you to awaken.
The new Venlil will arrive within 5 days.
The UN Archive recovery team
Oh, holy shit! Jorlka isn’t alone anymore?! I hastily opened the first file. It was a record directly from the Archive, recorded by an unnamed Farsul scientist. It was recorded in their language, but the translator in the software quickly turned the text to plain English for me.
Subject_001
Species: Venlil
Sex: Male
Status: Stasis
Archivist note: The first Venlil we have abducted as we begin our efforts to indoctrinate the planet of Skalga Venlil Prime. We have elected to keep this subject in stasis, and to keep their physiology untouched. If and when we go about altering the genecode of their species, it will be good practice to keep a pure sample in case of unforeseen complications.
End of file
Attached to the file is an image of Jorlka asleep in his pod, with a small label placed on him denoting him as ‘Subject_001’.
Well, this would be the file on Jorlka. Nothing major here, other than stating WHY the Farsul kept him on ice. I can show him this when he gets back, I guess?
This really didn’t feel that important when compared to what was coming. I opened the image file first out of curiosity.
It showed a cryopod that looked identical to the one that Jorlka arrived in, with the glass frosted over. The frost on the glass made it difficult for details of the occupant within to be seen. I could see the outline of a white Venlil, and the contours of a snout were visible through the opaque lid.
This image wasn’t that much help, but maybe Jorlka will recognize them?
I clicked on the data file after I gave up on trying to extract more detail from the image.
Subject_002
Species: Venlil
Sex: Female
Status: Stasis
Archivist note: The first subject of the efforts to tame the Venlil populus. The genecode was successfully altered in the embryo within her womb. The subject gave birth to the first corrected Venlil. The subject was placed back into stasis shortly after. As her own genecode is still pure, she will be kept as a pure sample in case of unforeseen complications.
Archivist note: Thank you. You were a delight to have, and we apologize for the less than amicable ending to our relationship. We hope you will one day forgive us.
End of file
Oh, dear god, what the fuck did they put her through!?
I was not given any time to process this information: there was a click at the front of the room. The door had closed had Jorlka was standing there. His face was lined with tear stains, and his eyes were shot.
“R-Rebecca… It is done.” His voice was cracked. His entire body shook with distress.
I rose from my desk and quietly made my way to him. Without a word said I wrapped my arms around him, and he started to weep into my shoulder. Tears flowed fresh from his eyes and stained into my blouse. His armed reached up, shaking the entire time, and gripped the lose fabric above my hips.
We stayed there in silence. He said something. It was barely a whisper. It was barely audible.
“Why does she have her name?” His paws gripped harder on my shirt. His claws pierced through the fabric with a tearing noise. “Why does she have her eyes?”
I gently patted him on the back and did what I could to soothe him, with a gentle shush. He sank deeper into my embrace. I didn’t understand what he was asking, or who he was referencing, but that wasn’t my concern right now.
I need to help him get his mind off what he just went through.
“Jorlka, you did something really great for your people, nothing to be ashamed of.” I gently guided the two of us back towards the couch in my office and sat us down, giving him more physical reassurance. “And I, as well as Freya, will do whatever we can to help you.”
His state started to calm down as he kept his arms tightly bound to my body. “I-I know…”
“If it’ll help you get your mind off it, I have what I think will be good news for you.”
He slowly pulled away from me and reached for some of the tissues on the coffee table. I gave him a moment to blow his nose and wipe the tears away. “G-Good news? What kind?”
“I just got a message from the humans that are managing the efforts to sort the Archive information. They found some new information on you, as well as something that will really shock you, cause it absolutely just shocked me.” I placed my hand on his should and rubbed it lightly, waiting for his response.
“And what would that information be? That those bastards killed more of my people?” His ears folded back frustrated as he let out some cynicism. I don’t blame him; it is information about the Archives. Everything related to that damn place has been absolute shit for him.
“No, they found another Venlil in stasis, and she’s unmodified like you.”
“WHAT!?” His ears shot up in alarm as this clearly flabbergasted him harder than it did to me. “REALLY!? WHO!?” His paws landed on my shoulders again as he took hold of me, enraptured by what I just said.
I couldn’t help but to laugh at the sudden change, it really brought some refreshing levity that I felt was much-needed. “Easy there, big guy! I can show you the files on my computer. Come on.”
He shot up onto his paws and bolted by my PC before I could stand up properly myself, before coming to a stop, realizing that he didn’t know how to use the device. He turned back to me slightly embarrassed at how he acted and making an effort to not seem impatient. I gave him an understanding smile as I walked around him and sat in my chair.
Then, with a few taps on my keyboard I opened the message again and resized the window so that it was all seen on the screen, before turning it to the Skalgan.
He stood in silence reading the messages and the files, before his eyes fell onto the image of the opaque white Venlil in the pod. Then the only word that left his mouth was the thing that shocked me the most out of all of this, more than everything that email contained.
“… Freya.”

When I first saw the Sopranos the name of Wilmer didn't mean anything to me. I'm still not a big Nick fan but his name caught my attention on the closing credits of a Sopranos epsidode where Chris and Little Carmine go to Hollywood, try to sweet-talk Ben Kingsley and actually mug Lauren Bacall. It is a pricelessly funny episode. I saw Wilmer as himself on the closing credits and restarted the show to look for him, since I didn't remember seeing him.
A teeny weeny bit: in the beginning of the scene where Chris, BK and LC enter a hotel suite where merchandise is being given away free to stars - there's quick shot of a short man, mugging for photographers and making some weird hand gesture. Google that, NW fans, if you have not seen it. Sadly, he does not have any lines.

(Year 2030..... Sweeps Week..... Pat Sajak comes out of retirement to host)
Welcome to our special week-long series featuring 3 incarcerated family members competing against one another. To kickoff the week, Donna, Charlie, and Wendi - 3 game-show loving members of the murderous Adelson clan - vie for a one-day pass to visit the family patriarch Harvey at Shady Pines Retirement Home. Here are the rules: a partially completed word will be shown. Contestants must ring in to answer. All answers are related to the family or murder in some way. The contestant who guesses the most words correctly before the horn sounds is the winner. Let's get started!
P....The first word is ????FFE
P.....Charlie go
C....I got this, it’s ETOUFFE, the type of seafood paella I ordered for Dad's 70th party
P.....Wrong, everyone knows there was no paella and no party
C.....No Pat, you've got it all wrong
P.....Oh shut up Charlie, yes Donna, your guess?
D.....LUFTWAFFE, the insignia on the Nazi uniform I wanted Wendi to dress the kids in
P.....Wrong, too many letters and I might add you are a sick evil witch
D.....Well, I've never been so insulted, no banana bread for you Pat
P......Stick that fake banana bread right where you pulled it from
P.....Wendi, care to give it a shot?
W....doe-eyed Is it what I longed to be as a child...head tilt... a GIRAFFE?
P.....Why Wendi, this is so sweet - and correct!
P.....Wendi takes the early lead
P.....It's now time to find out what our 3 contestants have been up to in prison, Charlie you first
C.....Pat, I'm happy to announce that June and I are the proud parents of a baby boy named Greco
P.....Not sure what the world needs is another Charlie Adelson spawn. Donna how about you?
D.....Pat I'm enjoying my duties as the common room TV coordinator wink-wink
P.....Do your duties include keeping prisoners from throwing the remote at the TV? wink-wink
P.....Wendi, how about you?
W....Pat I've just completed my 2nd novel
P.....Wonderful, what's it about?
W....The main character Xanaxia makes Matty Walker in Body Heat look like a nun
W....She manipulates her mom & bro into killing her ex, throws bro under bus, frames virtuous boyfriend
W....Final scene: scott-free and wealthy Xanaxia basking in the Miami sun with her Sunshines
P......Wow Wendi, sounds like a real page turner. I'm sure it will be as successful as your first novel.
P......OK let's resume play. The next word is T?T?
P.....Yes Donna
D.....I know, I know - that's my old friend TATO from the Bump
P.....Good guess Donna but incorrect
P.....Charlie you have the board
C.....It's my old friend TUTO, the hot head who almost ran me over in his cheap pick-up at Yardbird
D....So horrible son, didn't even have the decency to hot wire your Ferrari in parking lot and use that
P.....OK enough of this, Wendi do you want to take a shot?
W....sobbing Is it TITS, Katie's augmentation paid for by my brother more sobbing
P.....Wendi that's correct. May I ask why the tears?
W....more bawling the beach photo, that effing beach photo
P.....Yes go on
W....Katie & I next to each other in bikinis, our bodies pressed right up against each another wailing
P..... Wendi, are you able to continue?
W.... ear-piercing wail my matzahs next to her new voluptuous jugs
P.....Wendi, you poor dear. Charlie gets you a cheap new TV set while Katie gets a new TaTa set
W....I know right? It's just not fair.
P.....But Wendi your gorgeous blue eyes beam in that same photo while Katie's got sunglasses on
W....stops sobbing on a dime This is so sweet, Pat you can do shots of Bulleit Bourbon with me any time
P.....I'd love to Wendi so long as you promise not to vomit on me
W....wendi laughing No worry Pat, that regurgitation was staged by me to implicate Charlie
P.....pat laughing Wendi you succubus you
W.....wendi laughing Oh Pat I love it when you talk dirty to me
P.....Kind of kinky Wendi, eh? Is it true you're into teacher-student porn?
W....Nah, not anymore, prison warden-inmate is my thing
P......Internet or personal experience?
****** LOUD HORN SOUNDS*********
P.....Oh no, just when things were heating up
P.....Congratulations Wendi you're our winner!
P......And now you're both a Weakest Link and Wheel of Fortune champion. How do you feel?
W....Like I've lived up to the Most Likely To Succeed honor bestowed on me in high school
P.....Indeed you have Wen Charlie interrupts
C....This is ridiculous. It's all rigged. Pat’s under her spell. Wendi always gets her way.
D.....beaming with maternal pride That's my girl, always able to perform when needed
P.....That's it for today
P.....Let's end our first family show by remembering the movie The Godfather and Rob Adelson
P.....Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family far away
P.....Tune in tomorrow when Manson family members Squeaky, Tex, and AI hologram of Charlie square off

Long shot but if anyone can keep an eye out for an Apollo Ghost electric scooter for sale or dumped or anything I’d be gratetful.
Got mugged in the early hours of Friday morning on the way to work (17th May), two lads, one black one white. If anyone sees this scooter for sale, can they drop me a DM?
It’s been reported but if people could be on the lookout and also take this as a warning then that would be amazing.

THE BIZARRE WEST
ADVENTURE, ACTION, COMEDY, MYSTERY
# 1 Arc. introduction to the world.
Chapter 1: the Good & the Bad
Page 1.
Panel:
Narrator: Continent, shaped by a long history of corruptly led divided nation states, struggling over dwindling resources and limited living space.
Page 2.
Panel:
Narrator: Frontier alone, still stands proud as the unyielding dwelling place of humanity.
(Visual: Double spread of the frontiers tall wall and countless buildings surrounding it.)
Page 3.
Panel:
Narrator: Daring adventurers venture beyond the secure and far reaching walls off the Frontier. Exploring uncharted territories where no human has tread before.
SFX: Gallop, gallop, gallop!
(Visual: Four horsemen riding outside of the frontiers gates.)
Page 4.
Panel:
Narrator: An untamed land in this ever expanding world. Where danger lurks in the corner of the eye all the time.
Panel:
This vastly unexplored area with its bizarrely grown nature and inhabitants, is known as…
Sfx: YAAH! Giddy-up!
(Visual: Four horsemen riding towards something, Taking off in unnaturally fast speed. )
Page 5.
Narrator: The Wild World!
SFX: Chuku chuku chuku… TOOOT TOOOT!
(Visual: a Long Train moving forward on its tracks in a dangerous scary looking mountain-scape. The train is heading into a huge skull shaped mountain with a large tunnel going inside its “mouth”.)
Page 6.
Panel:
(Visual: We see the inside of the train. We see high class people in suits and dresses sitting in their seats, waitresses serving drinks and pastry inside the trolley.)
SFX: Hahaha. Kling Kling! Magnificent! Sensational indeed!
Panel:
(Then in the next panel we see trolleys full of rangers and showgirls partying inside the bar section of the train.)
SFX: Hohoho. We’re running out of beer here!
Panel:
(Visual: In the last panel of the page: Rangers standing in guard silently protecting a big vault.)
Page 7.
Panel:
(Visual: Finally, a woman standing outside at the back end of the train, contemplating look on her face.)
Woman: What a headache…
Panel:
( Visual: She moves inside of the train back on her seat. )
Woman: Sigh…
(Visual: Woman sat down on her seat, looking outside off the window. )
Woman: My eyes are bleeding again…
Page 8.
Panel:
(Visual: Silhouette of a monstrous figure of a Wendigo preying the train on top of the mountain)
SFX: Growl…
Panel:
(Visual: Close by shot off the Wendigo's face with an expression of thirst.)
Panel:
(Visual:Train accelerates)
Page 9.
Panel:
(Visual:1. Woman looking outside of the window into a dark abyss created by the tunnel.)
Panel:
(Visual: almost fully black panel. Woman’s face is shown through distorted reflection of the window)
Panel:
(Visual:2. Woman’s face with a tension rising in her face)
Panel:
(Visual: Fully black panel)
Panel:
(Visual:3. Woman’s expression changes with a look of concern.)
Panel:
(Visual: Woman is faced with horrorful sight. Wendigo, staring back at the woman with glaring eyes in the dark scenery created by the tunnel.)
Woman: …
Page 10.
Panel:
Woman: Rangers! Rangers!! I saw a Wendigo right next to our train!!
(Visual: Woman barges through the door.)
Panel:
( Visual: Rangers keep partying wildly / guards playing poker at the table.)
Ranger Barry: Shut up woman! And go grab me another beer! Hohohooh!
Guard: What the hell Barry… That’s not cool at all.
Panel:
Woman: I’m sorry if I interrupted your game gentlemen. Could you please go grab it yourself? And while you’re at it could you bring the sheriff here!? I need to speak to someone sober, it’s incredibly urgent!
(Visual: Woman visually confused and in stress)
Panel:
Ranger 2: Drinking sure does bring out the worst side of you. I raise.
Ranger Barry: Agh!

• fold… I might have a small problem, lads. Who cares?

(Visual: rocking on his chair, leaning on the chairs two back feet.)
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: Not a problem. Cuz you got multiple…
(Visual: Sheriff trips Barry off his chair)
Barry: Agh! Sorry b-boss!! I mean sheriff!
Woman: …?
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: I’m sorry for that, what happened to ya miss?
Page 7.
Panel:
Woman: Good that you’re here sheriff! I only saw a silhouette so I'm not 100% sure… But I believe it was a Wendigo tailing us!
Panel:
Guards: visual: WHOLE TROLLEY Laughing!! HAHAHAHAAH!
Panel:
Guard: Where could you have possibly learned about Wendigos little girl? From those silly kids dime novels??
Guard 2: You don’t even know what a real Wendigo looks like!
Barry: YEAH! Wanna see what my Wendigo looks like!?
Page 8.
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: That’s it Barry!
Visual: “Gets thrown out of the train”
SFX: CRASH!
Ranger Barry: AAAH!
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: That’s what you get you sexist-gambling-alcoholic degenerate…
Woman: I’am surrounded by idiots.
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: in his thoughts: I got no praise from my heroism… Why won’t she notice me…
Woman: I don’t usually lecture for free, but I guess you goofballs could use a lesson or two!

• Wendigos have a hunting habit of ambushing unaware humans when they’re guards are down!

And after a brutal surprise attack with their sharp spear like horns and inhumane physicality makes fighting back useless…!
-They feast on raw human flesh!
…
Panel:
I am the author of this book and I'm here on research purposes on Wild world beings.
I would like to believe that I’m qualified in this matter, sir.
( Visual: Shows her book of wild world beings )
Page 9.
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: God damn… Y'all just assumed because she's a wealthy, privileged high class woman that she doesn’t know about monsters living in our world!? Shame on all of you… Damn wendigos here, huh…
Panel:
Ranger: -But sheriff! This is not their usual place of hunting!
-That’s true, they are very territorial in nature!

• If I had to guess, they’re just intrigued by the noise the train makes.

Woman: They are not some less intelligent animals…
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: -Animals or not. They all behave the same when it’s the lead doing the talking. Rest easy madame if any trouble comes, we’ll be ready for it, guns blazing.
Woman: …A bullet or two won’t take them down.
Klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik klik…
Visual: Whole room loads up their guns.
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: We’ve got enough for a whole family.
Page 10.
Panel:
SFX: multiple guns firing BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! AGHH!!
Guard: WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!!!
Panel:
Everyone in the room: ?!
Panel:
Woman: They are here!
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: Ain’t no wendigo I’ve ever seen wielded a revolver, miss!
-We’re in a train robbery!!
Panel:
Visual: Rangers firing out from the windows of the train.
Page 11.
Panel:
The four riders keep riding towards the train, firing back.
Panel:
(Visual: Rangers with rifles shooting from the roof off the train.)
Ranger: I can’t hit them?!
Wojak: Binoculars sergeant!
Ranger: Yes sheriff!
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: Hold on… T-T-They Are-!
(Visual: p.o.v through his binoculars)
Panel:
-The Four Horsemen of the apocalypse!!! P-Protect the vault like the fate of the whole world depended on it!!!
Panel:
Red rider: Let’s get this boy! We do this according to the plan, we won’t have to see each other’s ugly mugs ever again!
Page 12.
Panel:
Blue rider: Oh man! It has been so much fun riding with y’all! Don’t know what I'm going to do without you guys!
Panel:
White rider: And here I was just getting used to your ugly mugs, I guess nothing ugly lasts forever…
Panel:
Black rider: I hardly ever cared about you lot.
Panel:
Bluer rider: And look what a sad cruel man you turned out to be!
Black rider: Precisely…
White rider: Be honest now… You “digged” us at least a little bit.
Panel:
Red rider: AAAGH! What has happened to my merciless gang of outlaws?? Wild world’s supposed to turn you into monsters but it made y’all bunch of softies!
Panel:
Black rider: I “dig” exclusively on women.
Blue rider: #Metoo! …Kinda!
Red rider: …Whatever that means?
(Visual: While this conversation is going, Riders are “showboating” casually dodging bullets and firing back.)
Page 13.
Panel:
Red rider: With this loot, you’ll be able to get any “kinda” of woman you like in the world! I’m going to get two! Zehehehe…
Panel:
Blue rider: A-Anyone?! W-What about W-Wendingo’s p-princes?!
Red rider: Eww…
BANG!
(Visual: Shoots at red rider)
Blue rider: I should kill you for that! No disrespect is tolerated towards my princes!!
(Visual: Red rider narrowly dodges the bullet. Is now hanging horizontally from the side of his horse.)
Panel:
Red rider: GRH! We’ll settle this later you weirdo! Keep giving them hell!
Panel:
Gatling man on top of the roof of the train: Don’t let’m board the train!
SFX: BAM BAM BAM…!!!
Page 14.
Panel:
(Visual: Barrage of bullets flying, four horsemen evading the bullets.)
Panel:
Whiter rider: Imma make the opening! ( in a dramatic tone )
Page 15.
Panel:
Visual: Stands up on his horse. loosens his belt.
Panel:
Turns around. Pulls his trousers down. Showing his underpants with a bull’s eye print on his boxer.

• Can’t hit this, you cross eyed rangers! Try ’n hit me if you can with those bent up pistols you got from your mamas house!

Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: GRRR!!! Don’t let him provoke you comrades! Y'all have a perfectly mediocre aim!
Page 16.
Panel:
White rider: I hate when people growl at me.
Visual: White rider shoots the hat of the sheriff's head between his legs.
Panel:
Wojak Sheriff head of the train: Focus all your firepower on that bastard !! That was my favorite hat… :’(
Panel:
Visual: Rain of bullets flying towards the white raider
White rider: Yikes!
Page 17.
Panel:
Blue rider: HAHAHAH, Foolproof plan, gets under their skin every time!
(Visual: Other riders jumping one at a time into different parts of the train while the rangers are fully focused on the white rider.)
Panel:
Red Rider: Final stop ladies and gentlemen!
Guards: Protect the 5 star class! Do not let them lay even a single finger on the passengers!!
(Visual: Trolley full of fancily dressed up people. Chaos erupts inside the train)
Panel:
Black rider: The time has come for all of you Frontier dogs to be put down.
Rangers: Shoot him! The bullets won’t penetrate him?! Shoot him harder!
(Visual: Trolley full of rangers at the bar section of the train.)
Panel:
White rider: “Phew” - No warm red holes anywhere, love to see it.
Page 18.

• Don’t they actually teach y’all how to shoot straight anymore at the good old ranger academy?!

(Visual: White rider gets on board at the back end of the train)
Panel:
Rangers all together: There he is! Get him!
White rider: I’ll show ya how it was done back in the old guard!
Panel:
SFX: Bang! Punch! Swing! ( three small panels then explodes to one big one with a cool pose from the white rider firing his pistols.)
(visual: Starts blowing through the trolley against hallway full of rangers)
Ranger: Send a message to Frontier! The four horsemen of the apocalypse have boarded the train!
Page 19.
Panel:
(Visual: After clearing out all the rangers inside the trolley… White rider is suddenly stopped by the woman standing behind him holding a gun to his head . )
Woman: Put your guns down and turn around slowly.
-Please…
White rider: This is an unusual position for me… I feel kind of awkward about this.
Woman: Huh!? What’s so embarrassing about this?
White rider: I don’t know!? Perhaps because of the way you emphasised on the please while holding a gun on the back of my head! It gave me a weird sensation that I could, I guess compare to-
SFX: KLIK!
Woman: Now, thank you very much.
White rider: Okay okay you got me. Calm down.
Panel:
Visual: White rider turns around. Intimate stare between the two in a chaotic scene.
White rider: !?
Woman: !?
Panel: Close up.
White rider: You’re e-eyes… They are… Cursed…
Panel: Close up.
Woman: …You’re soul… It’s …H-Hallow…
!!
Page 20.
Panel:
(Visual: White rider gets injured by Wojak the head sheriff of the train while losing his focus)
Panel:
Wojak Head sheriff: Hah! Got ya fair and square now!
Panel:
(Visual: White rider snaps back immediately.)
Whiter rider: That was a sucker-punch you wuss!
Wojak Head sheriff: Gaaah the irony!
(Visual: Wojak is sent flying out of the train through the same window Barry got dished out from.)
Page 21.
Panel:
(Visual: Action scene of other riders gunning and slicing down train full of rangers)
Panel:
Black rider: I despise crowded trains… Let me make some breathing space.
Panel:
(visual: Gets his cursed blade unsheathed.)
Panel:
SFX: SWIIIIIIIING-!
Panel:
White rider: !!!
-Get down!
Woman: ?!
Page 22.
Panel:( Visual: They narrowly dodge the massive flying slash coming through their way cutting everything down in its path. )
Panel:
(Visual: double page for the visual of the vertically half cut train)
Panel: (visual :Rangers shocked reactions.)
!!!
Panel:
(Visual: The whole massive train gets sliced in half cleanly,
The upper 50% of the train is now in the air as the roof fly’s off. )
Page 23.
^
Page 24.
Panel:
Blue rider: …Shiiit… You might have gone a bit “overboard” here partner. I guess that’s all of em…
(Visual: Laying on the ground holding his half sliced hat. Throws it away in the next scene)
Panel:
Red rider: Have some empathy for us you cold hearted bastard! You almost sliced me down there! A little brotherly heads up wouldn’t hurt!!
Panel:
Black rider: Look now who's become soft…
Panel:
White rider: Are you alright woman?
Woman: Y-Yes, thank you…
White rider: I just accidentally tripped on you, don’t get it twisted!
Panel:

• Stay lowkey here, we won’t stop the train. Get off the next stop and people there will take care of you… This wasn’t part of our plan.

Woman: Oi, wait a minute! Don’t you run away from me, train robber! Wait! …Darn it…
Page 25.
Panel:
(Visual: Riders gather around at the front end of the train at a vault full of riches)
White rider: OI! What have I told you about taking innocent lives you lunatic!
Black rider: No innocent lives were taken… I just cut down a few bad apples from spoiling the whole branch.
White rider: Then how come you’re still hanging? You’re the most rotten one out of the bunch!
Red rider: Easy now!
Black rider: …You want to skip our arrangement and have our duel in the middle of this heist?
White rider: I’m down.
Red rider: I should just shoot both of you numbskulls… Maybe that could help us to our gang's first ever successful heist.
Blue rider: Boys! I unlocked it!
Page 26.
Panel:
(Visual:They open the safe and are amazed by the sight of this mythical looking shiny gem)
Red rider: Huh? This ain’t gold?
Blue rider: it ain’t sapphire either.
White rider: Never seen a diamond like this…
Black rider: It ain’t a diamond, nor is it a sapphire. W-Where …did they find this hidden gem?
Visual: Black rider touches the gem.
Page 27.
Panel:
(Visual: That’s when a massive Wendigo attacks. Wendigos' hand smashes through under the train's floor. Black rider gets grabbed and swallowed in one swift movement. Wendigo has a mole-like appearance.)
Page 28.
Panel:
Blue rider: Shit!
White rider: Whoa! Where did that thing came fro-
Red Rider: Oi... !!!
That’s my brother you just snacked…
-Spit him out right now!!!
(Visual: Red Rider jumps on top of the wendigos face jamming his sword in its eye causing both of them to drop from the train.)
White rider: He’s crazy!
Blue rider: Should we jump after them?! What about the treasure?
SFX: KRIIII!
(Visual: More smaller sized wendigos appear above them in the air jumping inside the train)
White rider: We’ve got bigger issues above us! Just worry about getting yourself alive out of this train!
(Visual: -Battle escalates.
-Train malfunctions during the struggle, setting it off its tracks.)
Page 29.
Panel:
(Visual: White and the Blue rider manage to clear out the wendigos surrounding them.)
Panel:
White rider: There's definitely more of them!
Panel:
Blue rider: Yup! the treasure ain’t worth it if you can’t enjoy it with the living. Let’s get out of here and find the others!
Blue rider: Whistles for his horse. SFX: PRIIIII!
Panel:
White rider: Yeah, you’re right… This heist was bad business from the beginning with. As they always have been. Damn it all!
Panel:
X: AHHH!!
White rider: ?!
(White rider hears a woman’s scream)
Panel:
Blue rider: Where are you going!?
White rider: Go! I’ll catch you later!
(Visual: White rider jumps on the other trolley)
Page 30.
Panel:
(Visual: Woman Looking at the massive wendigo straight in its eyes.)
Wendigo: You're a blessed human…
Woman: Ghhh… Let go of me!
Panel:
Wendigo: KIHIHIHIH! You’re mine now! All Mine… Mine! Mine!-
Panel:
(Visual: White rider steps in and confronts a large wendigo holding the woman in its hands. Ominous beams of energy flowing out of the lone rider's pistol, scaring the monster.)
Wendigo: …Mine?
Page 31.
Panel:
White rider: I won’t tell you twice. Let her go…

• Now!

Panel:
Woman: You came?!
Panel:
Wendigo: GROWL…! Mine!!!
(Visual: Stand off between the two. Tension breaks between the rider and wendigo / Both launch at each other.)
Page 32.
Panel:
Panel:
Visual: ( White rider gets stabbed on the right side of his face. Right eye not visible through the blood shed. Fatal wound. Rider doesn’t connect with his own attack)
Panel:
White rider: Hmh!
Visual: ( Rider’s expressionless look on his face)
Wendigo: KIH!
( Wendigo grinning )
Visual:( Both ready to clash again. Wendigo is bound to pierce the rider again. Rider has his gun aimed at wendingos temple )
Panel: Fully dark panel
X: Stand off! - SISU!
Wendigo: ??!?!
Page 33.
Panel:
(Visual: Train gets critically damaged. Time seemingly stops. Energy blasts from the battle turns the part of the train where they were into small bits flowing in the air.)
Panel:
(Visual: Train falls off from the cliff)
Page 34.
Panel:
(Visual: White rider wakes up uninjured. His clothes have changed, he has a beard and longer hair on him. Only wound he has is a snowflake shaped scar on his right eye.)
Panel:
(Visual: Sees a large mountain, reaching the clouds in the sky with its height, covered in the same material as the hidden gem right before his eyes.)
Panel:
Narrator: Vast riches… Gold, diamonds, sapphires. These are good enough reasons for the majority to take on the challenges of the Wild world. Finding even a considerably small piece of gold could be enough to land yourself a place inside the safety walls of the Frontier. -But the most precious gift hidden in the mysterious land was yet to be revealed…
Page 35.
Panel:
Armies have been sent to conquer the wild world and many powerful individuals have tried to tame the land and its inhabitants. Most men met their fate facing the dangerous beings living there. Those powerful enough to survive and strive in the turbulent environment, were instead enchanted by the land… and never left.
Panel:
Narrator: White rider shattered the diamond-hard outer layer of the mountain. As he continued to dig deeper, what he found inside the core of the mountain… Sifted the direction of fate.
Page 36.
Panel:
Narrator: The core of the mountain is believed to have housed the wild spirits of another realm. Now roaming freely all around the world, blessing and cursing humans with bizarre abilities.
Panel:
Decades later, people from the Frontier still talk about this discovery. New generation has grown up since the mystical find. More and more people venture outside of the frontier to claim their share of the divine gift.
-The world is full of cowboys, outlaws and beings from your wildest imagination. Each faction moving towards the unknown and the rewards it possesses.
Chapter 2: The Bizarre
Page 37.
Panel:
Pa : Didn’t know they had written a dime novel about the four horsemen… I heard every kid in the continent reads these.
Mom: Great! Now we’ll have a generation of kids running around in the “Grand terror canyon” blasting pistols and playing cowboys with wendigos…
Pa: That would be a radical generation of kids indeed.
Panel:
Naivi, 4 years old: Wow wow wow… THAT WAS A REAL STORY!!!
(Visual: Whole house jumps up in the air on a snowy hill.)
Panel:
Pa : Heheh, glad that you liked it son! Good luck, I picked this up. Shame some of the pages were torn when I found it…
Panel:
Naivi: But was it actually true what happened, Pa?
Pa : Y-yeah. Probably. Quite close so…
Panel:
Naivi. How did it end? Did the Woman and the other riders survive the train crash? Was the Magical gem mountain real for real?
Page 38.
Panel:
Pa: Well, people tend to have mixed feelings and beliefs about the event and what followed after was even more compli-…
Naivi: Just watch Pa!
Pa: ?
Panel:
Naivi: In a blink of an eye! You and me! We’ll be on our own legendary quest together! Giddy up! Hahahaha!
(Visual: Naivi playing with his fathers revolver and putting Pas hat on. Naivi climbed up on his father’s shoulders, playing as if Pa was a horse)
Panel:
Mother: Give me that! That is not a toy!
Panel:
Naivi: Ma… When can I go ride with Pa to the Wild world?
Momma: I'm afraid your father will be an old timer by then… Being a cowboy is a young man's game after all.
Pa: And I’m definitely past my prime. Heheh.
Page 39.
Panel:
Naivi: AGGGHH! I gotta grow up faster then! Grow! Grow! Grow!
(Visual: Naivi swinging his hands and legs furiously, taking him slightly off the ground levitating.)
Panel:
Pa: Breathe boy… I know it's hard for you to stay still, especially when a great adventure is waiting for you. But I’m sure you will find a much more entertaining company in the future!
- rather than riding with your own old man.
Naivi: But I just wanna ride with you PA!
Panel:
Visual: Pa smiling in Flake family's signature crooked smile with warmness in his eyes.
Page 40.
Panel:
Narrator: Naivis favorite hobby was playing with the snow. Creating snowmen, snow forts, and engaging in snowball fights with his family.
Pa: “Sigh” “This building process is going to take us forever… Every time we make progress, the aboriginals destroy it by the time we get back.”
SFX: Blash !
(Visual: Naivi throwing snowballs at Pa. Ma is also there, building a cute snow structure.)
Panel:
Pa: “It's like one step forward and two backwards…”
SFX: Blash !
(Visual: After getting more and more snowballs slammed into his face, Pa gets slightly annoyed…)
Pa: Oi… Stop tha-!
SFX: Blash!
Panel:
(Visual: Naivi and mama giggling after throwing the snowballs)
Pa: …
(Visual: Pa’s face full of snow only annoyed eyes visible.)
(Visual: Pa throws back a barrage of snowballs to Naivis and Ma’s face in a funny manner.)
SFX: BLASH BLASH BLASH!!!
Naivi & MA: AGGH!

• Whyyy father -Why husband (Visual: Both in overly dramatic tone)

Pa: Never shoot an armless man!! Expect no mercy in the wild once you do that! Even if you were a child or a woman!
Page 41.
Panel:
Narrator: Naivis father was a railroad builder.
-To be specific, a cowboy, who protected the builders from the dangers of the Wild world.
(Visual: Whole Flake family having fun, riding together on one horse driven carriage in a beautiful snowy town’s landscape.)
Singing all together: Yippee yay ieee!! Yippy yay yooo!!! Ghost riders in… the snow!
-Yippei yay ieee!! Yippay yay yooo… Ghost riders in… the clouds!
-Yippei yay ieee!! Yippay yay yooo…
(Visual: people of the town look suspiciously scared of them. Peeking outside off their windows and visually scared in the streets.)
Panel:
(Visual: Flake family sliding all together a sledge going down a hill with look’s of thrill and happiness in their face)
Page 42.
Panel:
Narrator: Naivi took pride in his fathers work. His father often traveled to build a path between the two worlds.
(Visual: Pa leaving for a mission to the Wild World. Momma and Naivi waving goodbyes at the border.)
Panel:
Narrator: He always returned home to share stories from his adventures.
(Visual: Pa is back sitting in his chair. Has bandages on his head and looks injured. Pa telling the family a wild story with a look of enthusiasm in his face.)
Panel:
(Visual: Naivi falls asleep during the story telling with a smile on his face.)
Panel:
(Visual: Ma putting a blanket on top of the sleeping child.)
Panel:
Pa: “This is good news for us actually… So many good men were lost in the previous voyages… but no more.”
“With the new reinforcements, we’ll rebuild the whole railroad in no time”
((( during this time period frontier recruited outlaws to keep aboriginals from destroying the train tracks being built— these outlaws later build their own gangs and towns in the wild world.)))
Mamma: …
(Visual: Mamma looking at Pa with concern.)
Pa: “Sigh.” Don’t look at me like that.
Page 43.
Mamma: How could I not? Despite my condition, I can still see clearly… You’re hiding something and that makes me worried.
Pa: Worrying will do you no good darling. The truth is… It’s time for the final rodeo… Our objective is to clear out and build the first Frontier colony in the Wild world. This journey will be the last one. I promise…”
Mamma: …
(Visual: Naivi listening with concern half a sleep. Not smiling anymore.)
Page 44.
Panel:
(Visual: Edge of the town. Snow storm blowing through the sky.)
Mamma: ...Since the day we first met… I haven’t taken my eyes off you. My awkward train robber.
Pa: I often wonder on the road… How those cursed eyes of yours can still be so full of love. Good bye. Love of my life.
Panel:
(Visual: Naivi looking at his father, holding the tears in from breaking.)
Pa: Naivi…
Panel:
-Now that’s a look that only a brave young ranger could pull! But we cowboys are different breed, free individuals, who aren’t scared to feel or show our emotions. Let it all out son!
Panel:
Naivi: …
(Visual-Breaks in tears.)

• WAAHHH!! I Don’t want you to leave pa!!!

Panel:
Pa: Son…
Page 45.
Panel:
Pa: Let pure imagination guide you on your adventure. Gallop through life like a free wild horse in the blooming nature. Never give them even the slightest of chances to tame your vision. Whatever happens - I will support and love you both… Till hell freezes over!
Panel:
(Visual: Cowboys riding out into a snowstorm. Pa waving goodbye till you can’t see him anymore through the snow-blizzard)
Naivi: Come back as fast as you can ride Pa! I will be here waiting for you-
-Every!
-Single!
-Day!
Panel:
Naivi: I can’t leave alone to the adventure without you on my side!

• Pa!

(Visual: Naivi crying huge tears and screaming his lungs out.)
Page 46.
Panel:
Narrator: 3 years later. One day, as Naivi waited for his father at the border…
Naivi 7 years old: They’re back!
Panel:
Wojak the ranger deputy: “ Sorry kid… “
Panel:
(Visual: Ranger hands him Pas scarf and hat.)
Panel: (Visual: Wojak looks almost unrecognizable from the first chapter)
Wojak:
“ We lost him there.”
(Visual: Naivi’s expression of shock and disbelief.)
Page 47.
Panel:
Narrator: Six years later.
(Visual: Broken wheel of a caravan.)
I don't know, script seems bit odd if you don't know what happens later and rhythm of the story seems all over the place for me. I'm not a native in English either so some of the sentences seem clunky and unnatural. And some other bs. Please tell me what should I improve on and if there is something you like about this. This is my first time trying to write something so please be nice and awful to me. I'll post the rest soon...
If you want to see some of the characters they're at my ig: jasukaj5

Hello all, a little back story. 5 years ago I worked for a Sheriff’s Office in the jail and got my X26 Taser certification and rode the lightning. Thinking back on it, I would rather be shot with a 12 gauge than ride the lightning again due to pre-existing childhood trauma of being electrocuted. I shocked myself via an electrical outlet when I was 7 or 8. Was close to being struck by lightning on another occasion that caused my hair to stand up.
I am about to be hired with a different Sheriff’s Office soon to be a Detention Deputy. I inquired in my formal interview about their taser policy. They said that Axon does in house training and that I would likely have to get tased again and recertified. I do not look forward to that shit, even for it to be only 5 seconds.
On Axon’s website, it says exposure was absolutely voluntary. I have already been exposed to it and I still remember how bad it sucked, knowing if I use force on inmate, I can use discernment on how to effectively deploy the tool. According to a few certified friends, there is nothing GPSTC/Georgia Law that says you must be tased to carry a taser in LE. A friend that is POST certified said that I should refuse the exposure and take the flak for it from your colleagues since I have already been exposed. The agency I was tased at held my taser exposure video hostage as a negotiation chip to retain officers. My friend also told me to go request a FOIA and to get the video and any documents with my name on it and present the exposure video as proof. All it was a five second video of me trying to get up (we were told to try and get up while under the effect of the taser) and me yelling the “FUUUUCCCCCCCKKK” for the full 5 seconds.
I am unsure of my SO’s policy since I am not officially hired yet. All they have done so far was interview me, completed background packet and gave me a personal history statement that I am turning in tomorrow.
Any advice would be great.

I have a buddy who had his mug shot posted on Facebook last month by a page doing “public service” by posting mug shots online.
His case was later dismissed but page owners won’t take down the picture and is asking for a “removal fee”.
He is eager to pay, but I was wondering if this thing is normal or even legal because I’ve never been arrested.
My friend is currently experiencing anxiety about it because his picture began circulating online recently as he is trying to land a job.

A lot of guys are worried about getting scammed and that is significant, but mostly it is pretty minor in my opinion. Crime can be a very real issue to, but even in South Africa I never really felt unsafe. Of course, I lived in New Orleans in the 1990s, so perhaps my crime meter is broken.
Even getting with the wrong girls is not as universally bad as this. Yes, a lot of passport bros end up with bar girls who are gold diggers and professional girlfriends. But some guys are actually looking for that and most of the rest of us can avoid it.
But there is one danger that almost no one realizes they are going to have to face: cheap booze. Oh, yeah, I know you are an adult and you can handle it, but you have probably never been in quite this atmosphere.
First, the real old school expats where I went were often flat out alcoholics and they set the tone for the larger community. That was certainly the case in the Philippines where the community went back to the first sergeant majors and master chiefs who took retirement there really starting in 1904. Those guys and the generations of senior NCOs after them were old school drinkers, and the tradition has not died.
Second, the booze is cheap. I used to drink San Miguel in the Philippine for like .80 a bottle, and that was not that long ago. In Ukraine I had vodka shots for .50. If you have the money to get to most of the real passport bro destinations you have the money to become a raging alcoholic.
Third, the booze is often available everywhere all the time. In your normal life you probably don't drink at work or before 11:00 am or whatever. Overseas you often have none of those constraints and there will be other expats having a couple of beers with their steak and eggs after the gym 6:00 am.
Fourth, and this is a good thing. Nobody is judging you for drinking like Otis from The Andy Griffith Show. Unless you get belligerent when you drink or skip on your tab absolutely no one cares. And that is cool but a challenge too.
So, there are a lot of challenges but it is controllable.
Be Aware of Your Own Drinking
If you are not a teatotaler you have a big edge. In my travels I met exactly one - a senior NCO who just never drank. He had a story about going on maneuvers at Fort AP Hill in the 1980s with a horrible hangover when he was a corporal or something and promising that was it - forever. Other than him, absolutely everyone drank. Some guys drank a lot and others drank less but everyone drank.
And I did watch some guys become messy drunks. It was weird, because everyone was drinking so trying to stop was extra hard, but also most of the long term expats had dealt with it so there was no shortage of guys willing to offer suggestions if you mentioned you were ready to slow down.
The main thing was you need to be aware of your own drinking. You have to provide the controls that you don't have to worry about at home.
So What Do You Think The Biggest Danger For You Is Overseas?
Is it booze or drugs maybe? Or are you more worried about getting scammed or getting mugged?
I am sure I have left some real fears out. Just curious.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​

It has been 20 years since the first calamity struck Earth. A massive wave of solar radiation from a nearby star known as Prometheus 673B showered our solar system in 2025. Electronics have been rendered useless for months, giving humanity the glimpse of what life was like long before. But that was merely temporary. The true effect of the solar flare came in the form of an illness, that afflicted roughly 10% of the current population. Unlike anything we've ever seen, the illness did not kill, rather enhanced the afflicted. For the first time in human history, the term Esper was used seriously. Dubbed the Awoken, those afflicted with illness that stemmed from the solar flare of Prometheus, gained the ability to manifest their own thoughts into reality, with varying degrees of success. At first, nations and laws, society as whole, was not prepared to deal with these new humans and their abilities. Crime ran rampant for a while.
Five years after the incident, the world banded together in a unified front, known as the AMA, The Awoken Management Agency, a world wide agency tasked with handling and controlling the Awoken, allowing humanity to once more function as a whole. Satellites have been sent out as far Earth's gaze into space could reach, to watch our for any other potential cosmic events that may occur, like the one that happened with Prometheus back in '25.
Now, 20 years since the first incident, the satellites have picked up another major cosmic event on the horizon, this time coming from the Aquila constellation. Is humanity ready to withstand whatever cosmos has prepared for it?
[]
"Kenji. Wake up! You'll be later for your lectures, again."
The young man groaned, slowly turning to his side in bed, looking at his mother that stood at the doorway. "I'm up, I'm up."
Yawning and stretching, he sat up in bed, running his fingers through his hair, before turning to check the small clock on his nightstand.
"Wha? Late? Mom, it's only 8. Lectures don't start until 10." He sighed.
"Oh well. No need to cut it short, right? Plus, I've made breakfast." His mother replied and went back downstairs.
[]
AMA Information Database:
Kenji Aoto. Age: 21 Category: Type 1 Awoken Ability: Embodiment. The unique ability of Kenji Aoto, unlike other Awoken of the same type, allows him to alter his own body based on how he feels. Most Type 1s change their environment around them, rather than themselves. Type 1s are classified as such for having abilities that considered non dangerous to the general non awoken population.
[]
"We've got a lot of promising talent this year huh?" Nathaniel said to his daughter, as the two looked down at the auditorium full of students. The dean of the university was preparing his usual welcoming speech, as the assistants tried to quiet down the murmurs of the students.
"Yeah, we sure do." Clara smiled, not taking her eyes off the scene. "Quite a good number of Awoken too."
"Anyone interesting in particular?" Nathaniel asked.
"No, not really. They all have the standard abilities you would expect out of a type 1. Same level of control to boot." She responded.
"Well, I look forward to being their professor." Her father smiled, inhaling deeply. "The smell of youthful energy, so amazing. I can still remember your first day as a freshman."
Clara blushed a bit, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. "Shouldn't you be down there giving your speech, Dr. Offset?"
Nathaniel rubbed the back of his neck with a slightly embarrasses laugh to boot. "Oh don't call me that. Ahem, yeah. I'll be going now. See you later for lunch?"
"Of course dad." Clara smiled, giving her father a little wave as he left the teacher conference room.
[]
AMA Information database:
Clara Harris. Age: 32 Category: Non-Awoken (regular human) The lead ambassador for Awoken rights and unification in the AMA. Daughter of the lead researcher in Awoken development and the head teacher of the Awoken department in Nagoya University, Japan, Nathaniel Harris.
Nathaniel Harris. Age: 55 Category: Type 2 Awoken Ability: Offset. Acquired during the first Prometheus flare, the ability of Dr. Offset (he thought the name was cool when he was in his 20s), allows him to offset numerical values. Though touching an object is not required to use the ability on it, the potency of the ability greatly improved when he has direct contact with it. This also extends to, in theory, numerical values pertaining to objects and their position in space, relative to Nathaniel. Meaning he can move objects or parts of them relative to where he's standing, by changing their coordinates, however there were no recorded instances of him doing so. Examples include: Increasing or reducing the temperature of a beverage by direct contact. Increasing or decreasing friction on a surface of an object temporarily by touching it.
In his youth, Nathaniel attempted to become a sort of hero, once his powers kicked in, but due to the very low potency of his abilities, he never really managed to make the cut as one, despite being a type 2. Type 2s are classified as such due to having abilities that could be considered dangerous, powerful or harmful for the general non awoken population.
[]
Location: Russia, Siberia. Time: 22:37 Facility: Maximum security prison for Awoken criminals in Russia, cell block 5.
Theodore laid in his bunk, staring at the ceiling. Each of his breaths released a soft cloud of vapor, that commonly occurs when someone is in a cold environment. In his case, the vapor was a byproduct of his ability, rather than the cold cell we was in. A thug with a love for violence, turned bank robber when his abilities fully developed, Theodore terrorized Russia and the neighboring countries. It wasn't until the AMA was finally assembled and operational, that he was arrested and sentenced to multiple life sentences in this highest security prison that Russia had at a time.
Even after being sent behind bars, he kept up his antics, becoming a nightmare for the guards and inmates alike. No man that was placed in a cell with him would last more than a few days before demanding transfer. Some even lost their lives to the former thugs whims, before their transfer requests could be approved. Hence Theodore has been placed in solitary, a cell designed with all the tech necessary to nullify his ability. There he spent the last 10 years of his life.
Despite being a type 1, an awoken with abilities that were not classified as dangerous to the general population, Theodore managed to use them to their fullest extent. His blessing of temperature manipulation, was a curse to everyone around him.
He looked outside, at the night sky, through his small cell window. Apparently, there was a big stellar event, similar to the one 20 years ago, that gave him the powers he now has. He heard guards and other inmates talk about it, how AMA is now prepared for such an event.
Theodore closed his eyes, imagining what this aurora would look like. The memory of that night, when Prometheus 673B's flare struck earth still fresh in his mind like it was yesterday. The otherworldly mixture of reds and yellows and greens. Like a primordial fire that was lit across the night sky.
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps outside his cell snapped him out of his memory.
"Huh?" He adjusted in bed, to see who was outside his cell.
A man, in a white cloak with golden details, stood outside his cell. Theodore was confused. The man was not one of the guards, he was bare footed and did not wear any uniform. And no way he was one of the other inmates, no one had the capabilities to leave their cells without being let out.
"Hey, who the hell are you? How did you get here? The guards letting us out or something?" The criminal walked over to his cell door. The bars were made of material that could withstand sudden changes in temperature without bending or breaking, preventing him from getting out.
The man said nothing, he didn't even turn towards the convict, he merely stood there, hood covering his as he looked up at the night sky through the decorative windows on the buildings roof.
"Hey asshat! I asked you a question. How the fuck did you get out of your cell? C'mon man, don't be a dick, let me out too." Theodore grabbed the bars and rattled them.
The cloaked man finally turned towards him. The convict was stunned, only for a second. The man has a beard and long hair, both as white as his cloak. But his eyes, they were as blue as the midday sky. He could have sworn energy seemed to pour out of them. Before he could say another word, the figure before him extended his hand at him, and with a snap of his fingers, a bold of lightning struck Theodore square in the chest. The convict was send flying, back hitting the wall opposite the cell doors.
[]
Location: Brazil, San Paolo. Time: 16:37 Facility: Remodeled Taubaté Prison, cell block 3.
Vitor sat on the bench press, just finishing a set, looking over the prison yard. Even behind bars, his connections did not dwindle. A former petty drug dealer, Vitor Alves quickly rose to power and influence once his powers awoke. He employed other Awoken with criminal tendencies as his own personal task force to drive all other competition into the ground. Once he held the entirety of San Paolo's drug empire in his hand, he set his sights farther. We wanted the entire city for himself, believing that no one could challenge his claim to that right.
With the help of the AMA, the Brazilian government swiftly put his plan to rest, and Vitor behind bars. The fight between the Awoken under Alves and the AMA/Brazilian forces was indeed a bloody one and resulted in a good number of civilian casualties. The drug lord was sent to Taubate, where he would spend the rest of his life. The prison was remodeled, per AMA standards, to be fully equipped and capable of holding Awoken criminals.
Despite having powers of temperature manipulation, capable of increasing temperature to lethal amounts, Vitor did not believe that to be his strongest ability. Money, influence, connections, those were real power, what truly carried him to the top of the criminal world.
Even now, as he sat on the bench press, doing a few reps before looking over the yard, Vitor was not powerless in the outside world. He waited on his informant, his connection to the outside, to appear so he could delegate orders to what was left of his followers and empire on the outside.
He wasn't sure if it was something he ate, or the heat from the pounding sun. Maybe it was even that sky flare that he heard AMA guards mention. Something indeed felt off, his vision seemed a bit blurry. As if the entire prison courtyard was moving slowly right before him. But the informant should be there soon, so Vitor decided not to go back to his cell just yet.
The other inmates, guards, even the basketball that the inmates played hoops with, suddenly slowed down to a halt. Through the statue like crowd, a single figure moved over to Vitor. His feet were bare, his body and face hidden behind a hooded cloak. The drug lord could only see his white beard and his eyes, as they seemed to be glowing a faint blue glow. Before he even got a chance to speak, the man extended his hand towards him and with a smirk, snapped his fingers, sending a bolt of lightning straight into the mans body, causing Vitor to fly several feet and collapse on the ground.
[]
"Ugh... What the fuck man?" Theodore cursed, as he regained his consciousness. Slowly, he got up to his knees, his head pounding like he was struck by a hammer. The cell felt colder than before. Looking around, he saw the entire cell frozen, every surface covered by a thick layer of ice. Bed, toilet, the cell doors, frozen solid. And the ice shifted. With every movement of his hands, the ice followed.
"Could it be?" The inmate whispered, focusing his mind, channeling his ability. Ice began to form in the palm of his hand, morphing freely. With a single wave of his hand, the frozen bed shattered into bits and pieces. Theodore inhaled, getting up to his feet, head still in pain. But the realization was crystal clear. He could now freeze things without having to touch them, manipulate what he froze, as well create ice out by freezing the water in the air. With a grin plastered across his face, Theodore thanked the mysterious man, of who there was not a single trace left, and decided that he's busting himself out of prison.
[]
"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING. PRISON BREAKS DETECTED ACROSS MULTIPLE AMA FACILITIES!" Blared the system on screen at the Awoken Management Agency in Nagoya. Other HQs across the globe received the same warning.
"What the hell is going on?" Clara said, running into the monitoring hall.
"I don't know. Prison breaks, across multiple locations world wide." Kaito replied, his eyes not leaving the monitors as he fired up the surveillance drones on the impacted locations.
"The main facilities that were absolutely totaled are Siberia and San Paolo." He continued.
"Think it could be?" Clara asked.
"Not possible. The protection against solar flares was at full power. Not a single particle should have hit the ground. I mean, we didn't lose any tech, unlike last time." Kaito shot her question down, pulling up the drone feed of the two prisons.
Taubate was in flames. The entire facility seemed to be entirely engulfed in a raging fire. The Russian counterpart held no better either. The entire prison was torn apart by massive glacier like formations, that seemed to jut out of the ground.
Clara, Kaito and other technicians presents stared, slackjawed, at the live drone feed. Something like that was not possible, no Awoken held that level of power. Not even if multiple Awoken united, could they produce that level of destruction across such a large area.
"Wait wait! What's that? Zoom in on one of the glaciers!" One of the technicians said, pointing at the big monitors.
Kaito's fingers flew across the keyboard, as the drone moved closer and the video on screen zoomed to its maximum. On one of the glacier formations, sat a man, clearly an inmate based on the jumpsuit he was wearing.
"Running identification." Chimed the computer.
"Inmate 4012: Theodore Ivarovski. Age: 36. Category: Type 1 Awoken. Ability: Low drop. His ability allows him to significantly drop the temperature of anything he touches, almost instantly."
"He's a type 1. No way in hell that he could pull of something like this." Clara said, eyes glued to the screed. "He must have re-awoken, there is no other explanation."
"Clara, in the last 20 years since the Prometheus, there was never a single instance of that happening. Some Awoken do push their abilities past the initial capabilities, but that's usually the end of it. It's a conspiracy theory." Kaito mumbled.
"Then how do you explain THAT?" She said, pointing at a massive piece of ice that was quickly forming above Ivarovski, before being sent flying towards the drone and cutting off the live feed.
[]
(Howdy y'all. This is a bit different from my usual write style, with a more manga like story/narration instead of the standard story/novel format I do. I hope you like it, I came up with it months ago, but due to time constrains with work I haven't gotten around to writing it. Based on how it's received, I may continue this along side Sand & Steel. You can read S&S on here:
Royal Road
Wattpad
Scribble Hub
Hope y'all have a nice day.
-M.W.A.)

CADDY

Scaling: [Spons RT]() [Scott Wozniak RT]()

STRENGH

• Hangs himself out of spite for the Kinect (Kinect games)
• Uses a golf cart as a club (goofy funhouse)
• Throws his kid out of a window (crash 4 scene)
• Breaks a door (crash 4 scene)
• One shots Momo (haloween)
• Launches a Crash Bandicoot plushie through his roof, which then turns into a another crash plushie (crash merch)
• Pushes a transition screen away (?)
• Throws a phone, breaking it (bootleg)
• Throws a PS1 accessory across the world (ps1 accessories)
• Blows up an old phone (portable crash games)
• Breaks boxes with Crash Bandicoot (bandicoot month)
• Jumps to heaven (I'm bitter)

PUNCHING

• Punches the narrator hard enough to break a camera
• Punches Olly in the face
• Punches himself in the no-no's, causing agrippa to come out his mouth

DURABILITY

• Gets melted by the sun
• Survives in space
• Can survive without his head
• Survives after Spons rips through his chest
• Hammers a screwdriver into his ear
• As he is consistently in the Scott the Woz universe, to the point Caddy talks to him from the window of his house, Scott caused the universe to collapse which Caddy survived, since he's in the universe
• Gets flattened by the bricks
• Gets eaten by a crocodile
• Flies out the living room on a skateboard
• Falls off a roof
• Gets ran over
• Stabs himself, however he is hurt by this
• Goes inside toxic waste
• Covers himself in gasoline, and lights himself on fire off screen
• Fine after the sun spits a game at him
• Gets squished by Daddy Pig
• Impales himself with a sword
• Gets his eyes eaten
• Bleeds out his eyes
• Survives getting shot in the head
• Breaks his spine
• Gets inhaled by a Playstation
• Falls onto a couch hard enough to shake a room

GETTING SHOT

• Incapable of killing himself, blowing his his head off with a shotgun
• Fine after shooting himself in the cock
• Survives being shot in the head by a box of Rice Krispies
• Shoots himself in the head (skateboard)

TRANSMUTATION RESISTANCE

• Comes back after being turned into metal
• Gets tubacolosis and literally turns into a tuba.
• Gets turned into a youtooz vinyl figure

BLUNT FORCE ANG GETTING PUNCHED

• Takes a kick from Goku, however it's debatable if he's the actual one.
• Takes a hit from a giant hammer
• Knocked out by a baseball bat
• Gets punched by Big the Cat hard enough to swat away the entire screen

SPEED

• Surprises Scott the Woz
• Flies into a holiday inn, blowing it up
• Flies into space
• Dodges a sword swing
• Duplicates himself to catch a disc thrown by himself, in his mouth
• Runs fast enough to create after-images
• Turns into a rocket
• Takes a bouns round platform to America
• Jumpscares you (halloween)
• Dodges bullets from Spy Caddy

EXPLOSIONS

• Survives an explosion that kills Crash Bandicoot
• Survives this random explosion
• Gets nuked
• Survives a car being launched at him, creating an explosion
• Ok after his head blows up
• Gets his head blown off, launched onto a breakout paddle, then back onto his body
• Survives an explosion caused by a ps5 that fills a room
• Has a bunch of Crash Bandicoot merchandise fall from space, onto him
• Survives an unexpected explosion #ABILITIES
• Can turn a Cartridge into a PS1 game
• Kills a woman by mentioning the fifth element game
• Can use the force
• Can use the force lightning
• Can summon things by simply mentioning them
• Reverses pouring Pepsi in a cup
• Turns into the sun
• Toxic tunnels made him so toxic that people who came near him died
• Gives life to a teddy bear
• Can respawn at his house if he dies or gets KO'd
• Can stretch his neck
• whatever the duck this is (halloween special start)
• Can teleport
• Can multiply himself
• Can just say bad things to make them happen

TELEPORTATION

• Uses his "Bitch powers" to teleport
• Teleports to catch a game in his mouth

SIZE MANIPULATION

• Seemingly becomes this big (poster)
• Shrinks to a mini size to demonstrate a Crash TNT crate light

STUFF

• Pulls out a baseball bat, which he hits his cousin Mug with
• Has a lightsaber
• gun.
• A wand that's capable of blowing people up
• a mini TNT crate, which he throws at Olly
• Has a gun which evolves people
• Has robot feet, which he uses to kick his children
• Has a dragon (with no practical use whatsoever apart from flying, which he can already do.) (httyd segment)
• Bouns platform, which as mentioned before can go to places like america in seconds. For context, Caddy is in the UK
• Big thruster- A rocket that's shaped like a cock
• Oujia board
• Presumably wears groin guard
• Can be protected by his PS1 memory card, which catches him after he falls from a plane
• Ready access to nuclear weapons (eyetoy)
• A knife, which he uses to threaten Matt rose (eyetoy)

SLAUGHTERER

• Can remove memories
• Functions as a normal gun

INTELLIGENCE

• Could get away with treason
• Hacks into Brutalmoose's laptop
• Knows where you live. This not a joke. Hide. Now.
• Replaces his own spine
• Is a Spy in his spare time

OTHER

• [Salvages the computer screen](The creepy doll)
• [Freezes time, however he might not be immune](commercials)
• [Teleports to his couch in a flash of lightning, since he's wearing new clothes, this may be time travel](commercials)
• Used to have 540 thousand teeth.
• Interacts with his past self, presumably kills him off screen
• Drinks a game
• Flies through a chimney using balloons (UP game)
• Makes his eyes come off his face
• Can jump unreasonably high (bad ps4 store games)
• Creates fire using the coronation street game
• Removes the text from a magazine (psq magazines)
• Turns a cartridge into a disc
• Has eyes on the back of his head
• His mum stopped a freight train by frowning at it
• Can lay an egg containing Spons, however this can only happen once a month
• Turns into the "Jim Nebula"

WEAKNESSES

• Is shit at riding hoverboards
• Has chronic heart pain sometimes.
• Has a drinking problem
• Suicidal
• Needs pills so he doesn't murder you

From your parents, down to friends, down to your spouse. I always have had a falling out with my friends, then they would come back in your life .. or your parents , one parent would need to get their shit together and leave you hanging. Being told they was the bad parent , only for them to later on assault you. Smile in their mug shot . Or your spouse . In our younger teenage years he would pick drugs , his friends over me . After a while he told me he was done playing games and he was serious about me . And he was serious for a while . Till he was texting another girl bc his friend died and his fiancé was trying to get him. (The friend that died had a fiancé and she was trying so hard to split us up.) his family and my family never even wanted us to be together . We had a child 5 years ago. Have a house now and are married . But it just hit me today after reminiscing on old times that I have never had a consistent person in my life besides my grandparents.. sorry it’s all over the place I am ranting. And I am sad. But this has helped me some … :(

Alright Apes,
This post popped up yesterday and caught my attention.
Like every other GME theory I read, I enjoyed it. So I decided, what the heck, let’s go watch everything in reverse.
Here is my write up on the overall meaning of all this memes last week. I don’t have answers for every single post but there does seem to be a theme that matches the theory that these are meant to watch in reverse.
Excited to hear what you guys think.
One last thing before I get started. I think DFV has been here all along. I think he has read all of the DD and I think he made his memes with all of that in mind. I highly doubt he knows anything for sure but is just a fan of the DD. Just like I am. Maybe this is just his interpretation.
Ok. Here we go.
ET: This might actually be him saying goodbye for now. Hopefully not forever (still kinda sad we never got a ET 2).
Horse Gift: Not sure how to interpret this one. Maybe foreshadowing that he found (or was gifted) the GME bull thesis and at that point, he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing for a bad things. “We’ll see”
Coldplay Backwards: GME had to pull back for him to find the right time to get in.
Forest Running: And then it started running.
Original Sheet Music: Then the memes started and they were “MIRACULOUS”.
My favorite post – The White Stripes Glitch Mob video intro: Seriously, if you haven’t watched the video, go now. It’s hype af. I think this video marks the Jan 2021 glitch.
MIB Kitty: And then GME became RK’s galaxy.
That’s not a Knife: He was the GameStop meme guy at this point but shorties wanted his gains.
Westworld’s Bernard: Then the bear thesis’ started coming out but we can’t see what we are programed not to see. We were already programed at this point thanks to the bulleproof bull thesis.
Ocean’s Gang in Prison: And then we got thrown in a prison (GME price?) together when so many people bought at high prices.
Beavis and Butthead: We were obsessed with Cohen at this point. We hung on to every tweet. Sex for Dummies was a very popular one. Lot’s of theories popped up with this tweet. I think our theories made us look like Beavis and butthead.
A Few Good Men: DFV visits Congress!
Elaine Dancing: Is this him celebrating his gains and/or not getting thrown in prison?
Aladdin: They tried to take his gains away?
Truman > Mourinho’s In Big Trouble: He was gagged.
ASIP In Therapy: RK went to therapy and found he loved making memes and GME?
Newman: Talking about his experience as his new life as the United States GameStop memer and all the requests he was getting for memes.
Eddie Murphy: Chronicling his time as a memer
SNL The Shooting AKA Dear Sister: Not sure on this one.
Steve Wilkos: RK is ours and we are going to stick beside him
Succession: RK was reading so much about how he was the villain
Borne: More struggles with his identity as the GameStop memer and deciding what to do next.
CNBC > .50: Why does everyone hate RK?
The Dude: Not sure on this one.
Garden State: foreshadowing the jam that he’s about to get into this his next (older) posts
Every Everywhere All at Once: more foreshadowing.
Stand by Me: There’s a game of chicken going on. Shorts vs HODLers?
School of Rock: Reminding us what where here for. This journey isn’t going to be perfect but it’s Rock and Roll.
TeddyBears – Punk Rocker: He has both hands off the wheel now but he’s still along for the ride.
You Can’t Stop What’s Coming: Self-explanatory with likely last-minute cameo of the Chicago (where Citadel was founded) BEARS thanks to the world’s most famous coke rat market manipulator.
Sicario 2: He’s asking us if we are ready to be the “villain” with him.
Flip Mode: If you really want to party with the Kitty, show him what you got (make some more memes people!!!)
The Shining: Our view of RK at work making his memes for the past 3 years.
500 days of Summer: Talking about why he does what he does. Because it’s going to last forever (more foreshadowing).
Luca: Him laughing at us not knowing everything. Just forget about it if you don’t understand, he has more for you.
Signs 5 part series: see this post for full signs theory.
The Modern Animal: We need to get a little crazy if we are going to take on the big city (NYC? Wall Street?)
Broad City: We made our own language. Memes. SuperStonk is a place for best friend with time to shoot.
GooseBumps: I THINK THIS IS WHERE WE ARE TODAY. RK is letting his briefcase of memes open and warning bears.
Everyone’s favorite Boss: Here some the SIGNS (memes for those who are not keeping up). He is going to his us ONE MORE TIME.
Pay Attention: NOW FUCKING PAY ATTENTION because he isn’t going to do this again.
Kill Bill: It’s time to fight and we are bad asses.
JigSaw + Kansas City Shuffle: Are you ready for the game? Because GameStop has you covered. Everything up to this point has been the inciting incident and catalyst of the Kansas City Shuffle. There is a very short scene where he says, “are you watching closely”? I saw a comments days ago that I can’t find and the very high level paraphrased version is that scene is from the Prestige and all of those hats were a result of him cloning himself. I think that represents the synthetics that plague our market. (I will find that comment that explains it better and go back to watch the movie myself and update this).
Shawshank: RK is telling us all it really takes is pressure and time to break out of their prison. While he was in prison, he went back to get his financial education. We also need an activist (investor, RC). There is a lot more nuance we can try to extrapolate form this one. I’ll save that for later.
Radiohead Karma Police: They have run the price down far enough. They have been leaking gas this whole time. It’s time for the match to be lit.
Neo: This is where Neo figures out how to work the matrix. The market is fake and everyone is mad. We all know it. When it comes to the market, we all took the red pill, and we see it for what it is.
Bullet Scene: Might need some help deciphering this one. I think it’s about how we (maybe not us but the general public) perceive the market. We see cause and effect but that’s now how it works. I think he is telling us that we don’t fully understand the market but our instincts are right and we just feel it. I think we as a community have that instinct.
Fury: Every boss is going to feel like the last one. They are going to pound us with misinformation, price manipulation, and anything else they can come up. But they are just taunting us to whoop some ass.
Trueman Show: They are going to hit us with everything they have but HOLD ON!
Me, Myself, & Irene: Them tanking the price is going to change how we feel and who we are.
Red Right Hand: Might need some help with this one too. The red hand man is stalking someone and the other person can’t do anything about it? Not sure who is who here.
Beat Saber: Might need some help with this too. Is he calling all freaks to show up because we are about to go to war?
Keith and Jake SNL: Everyone thinks Keith is crazy lol
Seinfeld: Calling out the memestock docs for being stupid. He had to some back and tell everyone to “Shut Up Bitch”
Shut Up Bitch: He delivers his best line to the people making him out to be a Vilian.
Coffee Mug Breaks: He is asking us to convince him to do it again.
Bane: RK is saying everything is going as planned.
Oceans (again): RK has been waiting for this time and it was all part of the plan.
Snoop: There was so much drama at GME. People had to be fired because they were someone dressed up as something else. Moles?
Spiderman: It’s time for Keith Gill to become Roaring Kitty again.
Pizza Slices: Guy on the left is a shorty. He is getting mad with how popular things got with the thesis and how many people bought.
Missy Elliot ft Luda: Giving us confidence that he has a worldwide audience and he is about to kill all the rumors.
In Love with RC: He is telling us that RC is the right guy. Don’t doubt him.
Guardians: Everyone already knows who is in charge. Stop fighting to be in charge.
CNBC again: Some of the misinformation actually said RK is in charge. He is not. He is busy drawing dicks (memes).
Oceans (again): I think he is saying that no one person is in charge. It took everyone to give GME all that money. Or maybe it AVOCADO-IN-MY-ANUS all along?
Breaking Bad: His side still hasn’t been told?
Fight Club: RK finally accepting he is DFV
Nice Guy: He is still a nice guy despite what people are saying.
Day and Night: I think he is talking about his struggles day and night over the last 3 years.
Dave: He could’ve ignored it all but he couldn’t stand it. He’s about to keep it real with us.
Star Wars: help me fill in the blank on this one.
Ozarks: help me fill in the blank on this one.
Grim Reaper: The hedgies are trying to figure out what is going on with GameStop. They are I a holding pattern and will be coming with more hitman when what happens in the rest of the tweets goes down.
*******This is where shit gets real********
The Prestige: Alright. Put your tinfoil hat on tight. Here is my interpretation of this one. The magician makes something disappear, but the audience wants to be fooled so we are not actually looking for the secret. So, when something disappears we don’t clap because it’s not as impressive. But as soon as it comes back, the fights is on**~. I think the NFT marketplace is going to come back~**. But I think it’s going to come back as something else. I think they built the blockchain infrastructure for something other than the NFT marketplace. That is when shit is going to go crazy. Don’t believe me, keep reading.
Brand New GME: They finally embrace what everyone has been calling them. They show up one day looking sexy as fuck and blow everyone’s minds.
Prisoner: And now the prisoner (GME’s true price) has true FFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.
The fallout: The hedgies are going to beg us to sell our shares at 14 grand but the nature of us is pure CRAZY. We all knew who was calling on the phone.
Parking Lot Killer: That is who was calling. They are coming for the bears.
Requel: And just like that the requel begins production.
Old Computer Game: Now the question is, with this brand new, sexy af version of GME are we selling or are we staying? I think it’s going to be so fucking amazing we “>Stay”
Kittyman: When this all goes down, RK will return again.
How did they do it?: GME (or we?) seems stupid but apparently whoever it is really good at paperwork and the RK is so happy he’s doing backflips.
What do they need to do it?: They are going to need all of us and the target is up. HODL.
Kingsman: Shorties will then be locked in the room with us and they are going to come in fierce numbers.
The Town: They need our help we can’t ask questions but we have some sick ass rides to get there with.
Morning Affirmation Cat: Help me with this one. I’m tired.
Troy: Sick ass scene. GME just needs to land the killshot.
Pikey Reaction: They pulled the price back so far that it’s a loaded spring and when the shots are fired, it’s going to be raining money. Now “come hang so we go out with a bang”. Does he have your attention now?
Stop Fighting: NOW we can stop fighting.
Pirates of the Carrabin: The Pirate comes back from the dead (NFT Market Place?) and GME presses the red button to go into hyperdrive. This solidified my theory.
Tombstone: It’s not for revenge. It’s for something bigger. It’s a reckoning. Maybe a Glass Castle?
Standoff: Now that the red button was pressed, we have all the shorties in a stand off. But it doesn’t matter because the result of the red button is going to destroy it all? DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?
Avenger Initiative: We have to do it together. It’s not just one person.
Sherlok Holmes: When GME says run, RUN! And remember what it’s running for. You monther, father, children, sisters, and brothers. The DOG DAYS are over.
Drive: We think were all good here right? It’s all over. Guess again. We are going to have every governmental agency coming after us and our gains. We are going to be on the run.
Bloody Blade: Help me with this one.
But First: The overture. This will be how it starts. We must go backward to unlock the secret. Once we do, the dragon wakes up and it’s game on for the game of thrones. We are going to break the wheel.
Still Here: It’s done when we say it’s done. This tweet closes with the song from the whole days evil cept being blown up with green fire. Sick.
Thanos: This was the actual first tweet just like the ET was the actual last tweet. He has read all the tea leaves and doesn't think anyone has put it together like he has so he is sharing his interoperation of the DD, the market conditions, and the news and is going to do one last DD himself.
Hope you were sitting up in your red chair and paying attention.

David DePape was sentenced to 30 years in federal prison for attacking Nancy Pelosi's husband. There is no federal parole so he will do the time - they have "Truth in Sentencing."
Contrast that to the sentence for the offenders who engaged in the Brooklyn Homes mass shooting, in which 30 people were shot and two killed:
Juvenile 1: Five year sentence Juvenile 2 (15 YO): Five year sentence Juvenile 3 (18 YO): One year sentence Aaron Brown (18 YO): June 7 TBD Tristan Jackson (18 YO) June 7 TBD
The other juveniles, despite taking part in a deadly 30-victim mass shooting, were not named because Veneration Of Juvenile Offenders (VOJO).
How much time will the juveniles really serve? If you take the standard number of years and divide by 10, these offenders will probably serve a few months. For taking part in a mass shooting where 30 people were shot and two killed.
Astonishing. Virtually no consequences for shooting 30 black people for these offenders. A lot of tsk-tsk'ing at the juvenile offenders ("Oh you")... and they wonder why crime is so high. Astounding. The legislators driving this sound like the defense attorneys. This crime is coming from a small group of offenders degrading and victimizing others. Contrast that with David DePape's consequences.
The absolute idiocy of the approach to crime in this city and state is astonishing.