Completed install this weekend of the Rockville SS8P Poweree Subwoofer to replace the stock Meridian subwoofer. It is absolutely amazing how much better this $100 amplified sub is compared to the Meridian sub. I drove the car for about 20 minutes without the Meridian sub installed and I honestly couldn't tell any difference that it was no longer in the car.
All of the information for this install came out of this thread on the Kia EV Forums. I posted this all over in that thread but I figured I would throw it out here on reddit as well, for those who may not read that site.
It doesn't look like there's been much discussion on this subreddit on the subwoofer in general and someone had asked me about doing a video tutorial but that's not really my thing. Hopefully this will provide enough instructional information for anyone interested in tackling this project.

Parts

• (1) Hyundai/Kia Repair Harness - 18790 03730AS - https://www.sparekorea.com/product/parts/60302?no=1879003730AS
• (1) 2 X 4 (ft.) Rectangular Vinyl Non-Slip Rug Pad - Project Source 1839839 - Lowes
• (4) M6-1.00 x 30mm Hex Cap Bolts, Stainless Steel - Hillman 882081 - Lowes
• (4) 1/4" lock washers
• (4) 1/4" regular washers
• (4) 8 x 5/8" Black Chromate Pan Head Phillips Wood Screws - Hillman 884856 - Lowes
• (4) Rubber Washers 3/16" x 1 1/2" x 1/8" - Hillman 884637 - Lowes
• (4) Rubber Washers 3/16" x 1/2" x 1/16" - Hillman 880368 - Lowes
• (1) 14 AWG Stranded Primary Wire, Black, 20ft roll - Southwire 55669021 - Lowes
• (1) 14 AWG Stranded Primary Wire, Red, 20ft roll - Southwire 5669121
• (2) Quick Disconnect Spade 3-Way Piggyback Connectors - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0195V03H4
• (2) Nylon Insulated Female Quick Disconnect Crimp Spade Terminals, 16-14 AWG
• (1) Crimp Fork Terminal, 16-14 AWG
• Heat Shrink Tubing
• 1/2" Inner Diameter Split Wire Loom
• Velcro Strips
• Self-Stick Velcro
• Gaffers Tape
• Wood Board

If I didn't include where I purchased the item, I already had it on hand. Everything purchased at Lowes can also be purchased at Home Depot. The various Hillman items are from the specialty parts drawers.
Other than the repair harness, everything listed above except for the spade piggyback connectors can be purchased at Home Depot or Lowes. I couldn't find the spade piggyback in either store and none of the local auto parts stores stocked them.

Accessing The Amp Area

1. Remove the false floor cover from the trunk area.
2. Remove the 2 side covers from the amp cover
3. Pull straight up to remove the entire amp cover

(Optional) Accessing The 12V Socket Wiring Harness

I didn't want to use the 12V cigarette adapter, so I tapped off the 12V outlet harness (details below). Access this area with the following steps:

1. Remove 2 holding caps from the rear trunk trim then pull directly upwards to remove the entire trim piece
2. Remove the 2 bolts that were underneath the amp cover from the left side (as looking into the car) trunk trim piece
3. Remove 1 bolt from behind the rear seat release lever on the left side trunk trim piece
4. Pull the left side trunk trim piece away from the side of the car, starting from the back

Amp Mounting Board

I used a 5/8" thick board I had on hand. If you have a rear strut brace you may need to pay extra attention to board thickness relative to the specific amp you use and it's height. The SS8P clears with a little room with the 5/8" board combined with rubber washers and padding material I used (more on that below). I think the SS10P will clear with a 5/8" board as well.
I used the Meridian amp as a shape reference and for alignment of the mounting holes. As I have a router, I rounded over the top and bottom edges of the board and then sanded them nice and smooth. Rounding the edges isn't necessary but I suggest you sand down all edges of the board otherwise.

Mounting Board to Car

The stock mounting bolts are M6-1.00 but too short to re-use, so I purchased new 30mm ones. My Lowes only had stainless steel ones in this size, but regular zinc ones are fine. I used a 1/4" lock washer and regular where the top side of the board. The 3/16" x 1 1/2" x 1/8" rubber washers were used between the metal mounts in the car and the bottom of the board to provide vibration dampening.

Mounting Amp to Board

I used the non-slip rug pad was used as vibration dampening between the bottom of the amp and the top of the board. This was the cheapest "squishy" thing I could find at Lowes. I folded the pad so there were 4 layers and cut to the dimensions of the amp.
With the way I shaped my board, it was a little too narrow to use the mounting holes in the metal brackets for the Rockville amp, so I drilled a new hole in each bracket that was closer to the amp. The 3/16" x 1/2" x 1/16" washers between the bottom of the amp mounting bracket at top of the board. This served two purposes, first as a bridge between the bracket and the board because there is a gap from the rug pad, and as vibration isolation for the bracket on the board.
The 5/8" Black Chromate Pan Head Phillips Wood Screws are used to secure the amp to the board. Any 1/2" to 5/8" pan head wood screw would work here, I just wanted black ones to match. You could use the screws that came with the amp but with a 3/4" thick board, they would protrude out the bottom and I would advise against that.
https://i.imgur.com/yPp83eh.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/rs6J87z.jpeg

Amp Wiring - Power

For power, I tapped off the 12V socket, which is switched power, so the amp will turn off when the car turns off.
To make this a non-invasive install, I used a pair of 3-way spade piggyback connectors that go between the spade terminals on the back of the 12V outlet and the car harness. I then used nylon insulated female crimp spade terminal to connect to the piggyback connector. I am not using this connection for ground (covered in next step), but to not have a completed exposed connector, I put an unused crimp terminal on the ground side piggyback.
On the car harness for the 12V socket, the wires are as follows:

• Blue = +12V
• Black = Ground

https://i.imgur.com/ch11517.jpeg

Amp Wiring - Ground

Instead of using the ground wire off the 12V socket harness, I used a crimp fork terminal and placed it between the metal amp bracket of the car and the rubber washer. A crimp ring terminal would be better than a fork terminal, but I didn't have one in the correct size on hand.
Make sure you sand off the paint immediately around the mounting hole on the metal bracket so you have a proper ground connection.

Rockville SS8P/SS10P Amp Wiring - High Level Inputs

The repair harness (Part # 18790 03730AS) costs $25 with shipping from Spare Korea, but is well worth the money to make this a completely reversible install with no cutting or splicing of the factory wiring harness.
On the repair harness with the locking hole in the repair connector facing upwards, this is the order of connections from Left to Right when using the Rockville SS8P/SS10P. Note that the amp side wiring colors may vary for other amp models.

• Car Left (Red) -> SS8P/SS10P Grey/Black (R-)
• Car Left Middle (Pink) -> SS8P/SS10p Grey (R+)
• Car Right Middle (White) -> SS8P/SS10P White/Black (L-)
• Car Right (Brown) -> SS8P/SS10P White (L+)

https://i.imgur.com/9x3EJfZ.jpg
Important Note: Make sure that "Auto On" is turned on for the amp (button pushed in for Rockville SS8P/SS10P). No remote wire gets used for this install so Auto On is required for the amp to know to turn itself on when it received a high level signal from the radio.

Routing the Bass Remote

I mounted my remote on the left driver side knee bolster underneath the button panel using self-stick velcro.
Route the remote cable underneath the left side trunk trim panel and into the cabin behind the seat. Proceed with routing the cable down towards the floor and up the driver's side of the car, tucking it underneath all of the floor trim panels, then underneath the driver's side footwell trim panel and finally up in front of the fuse box.
https://i.imgur.com/1lzMWQo.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/E9lPBTZ.jpg
The Rockville bass remote comes with a flat ribbon cable and it squeezes behind the fuse panel cover even without any modifications to the cover. It does pinch the cable slightly but not enough to pierce the outter jacket of the cable, you can see the indentations in the above picture.
I opted to trim out a bit of the plastic on the back side of the fuse cover using an x-acto knife, then sanded all the rough edges smoothly. I also lightly sanded the top edge of the panel so smooth it out. This helps with the amount the fuse panel cover squeezes into the remote cable but doesn't modify the cover in a way that anyone would know from the visible face of the panel.
https://i.imgur.com/NKUKGM8.jpg

Miscellaneous Notes

I removed the large sound dampening pad from the bottom of the plastic amp area cover and put it at the bottom of the amp area. I left the small sound dampening pads on the side covers.
In the area were the power and bass remote cable runs over trunk floor, there are a couple open holes that have sharp edges. I covered this area with a few layers of gaffers tape as it's a nice soft cloth material that removes easily, but a few layers of any other tape (duct, electrical, masking, painters) will yield the same effect. I also tape those two wires down to keep them from moving around.
Ideally you run these cables up underneath the rear trunk trim panel and into the left side trim panel so they are completely hidden when the area cover is removed and you don't have to do all the tape padding. In my case, the bass remote cable was a few inches too short in total as I had ran it, and I didn't feel like pulling it out again to re-run to try and get the extra length needed. Everything is covered by the amp area cover so this was good enough for me.
The connector from the car to the amp and repair harness ends up resting in an area where it's against the metal of the trunk area. To prevent this from making noises while driving, I wrapped the connectors in a piece of paper towel and taped the towel to itself. When the rear trunk trim piece is installed, this will get pressed between the chassis and the sound dampening pad on the back of the trim piece.

Make It Clean

This is all optional, but everyone likes a clean install, right? Dress the cables using your preferred wire loom of choice. I had some of the flexible plastic loom on hand, and 1/2" inner diameter was big enough to contain all the cables. If using this type of loom, cut out small notches where cables exit the loom in areas other than the open ends, this will prevent the spline of the loom from rubbing against the cable jacket.
https://i.imgur.com/uPT2Fks.jpg

As per title, I have some relatives visiting who are all smokers, as you can imagine key priority is finding cheap cigarettes,
So regardless of the brand what is the lowest price for pack of 20 cigarettes that you know of and where?
Example, we just bought Elixyr for 5eur a pack.
Thank you

I used to work the morning shift at a discount shop in a bad town. Not a bad part of town, the entire town was just bad. We sold everything, strong alcohol, cigarettes, plants, drug paraphernalia, food, cement, furniture etc.
One Friday morning, I’d been out late last night and had work starting at 7 AM, and I was really tired and probably not entirely fit to be working. There was one lady who’d come in every Friday to buy four bottles of the cheapest Slav vodka and a pack of cheap Bulgarian tobacco.
Lo and behold, she came in this Friday morning, too. While she was buying her stuff, my boss came up to me and started complaining that there were teenagers running around the shop and causing chaos. Meanwhile, I was scanning the vodka and grabbing the tobacco pouches for the lady. The teenagers ran behind the till, and I had to grab them and kick them out before continuing the purchase. I tap the card button and she pays and quickly scurries out of the shop. It was only then that I realised I forgot to scan the rest of the vodka, and she had only ended up paying for one bottle, and gotten three bottles for free. My boss never found out, or maybe he did and just didn’t care enough to bring it up.

I wrote this as a comment originally in another sub, but I needed to rant more vocally and I felt like there’d be some sympathetic ears here.
I work at a gas station, and for some reason that translates into me not deserving nice things in America. I kinda had no idea how much our society fucking hates service workers till I started working here full-time back in January.
It’s honestly kind of fucked: half the people I work with have kids, and have worked here for years. I’m lucky in that I don’t have kids and am able to live with family for cheap rent, but this is very much not the norm at my place of work. We get paid on average between 17.50-19.50 an hour (in CA, where the cheapest rent you can find is a $1300/mo studio), we get to earn 4 PTO days a year (which are not guaranteed to be accepted when I request them, and no designated sick days), our hours are not guaranteed, we don’t have a retirement plan outside of the option to maybe put money into an IRA on our own initiative, and we can and will be let go even for basic mistakes at times (“right to work” my ass, fuck at-will employment). We technically have health insurance, but it’s both expensive and dogshit.
It’s crazy how little we learned from COVID too: if someone at my work gets sick, they usually have to come in. They can’t afford to miss a day, especially considering the CoL here in California. So, what happens is that one person (or their usually small children) will get sick, and then the rest of us also get sick and also have to come into work. Then we handle your food, your cash, your condoms, your cigarettes, your alcohol, and stand much less than 6 feet away from you at a register with no PPE provided.
During COVID, my co-workers (I was in college during COVID) had to come into work because they were ‘essential’. Yet, pretty much constantly we don’t get treated like we’re essential. Probably about 25ish percent of our customers treat us like fucking garbage. I’ve been screamed at before by customers for asking for ID (which is the law for selling tobacco/alcohol here), I’ve been screamed at for taking more than 30 seconds to get to a person in line, and I have had to do stuff that is not in my job description ranging from: administering first aid, playing therapist to people, car maintenance, sheltering people after severe car crashes when the highway patrol drops them off, scaring off meth-heads, and de-escalating potentially violent situations with drunk people who are pissed I can’t sell them alcohol at 3am on a Monday. Honestly, this job isn’t even that bad compared to many other places that employ service workers. If I go online and complain about any of this, I’ll have like, scores of people tell me, “well, you don’t work a real job, what do you expect?”
I’ve even had my own family tell me that my job isn’t a “real job”, and they’re not even assholes.
Personally, my response to anyone that tells me I don’t work a “real” job (and therefore don’t deserve things like a living wage or sick pay) is this: if you really think that, then try not getting gas, going to a grocery store, getting fast food, buying clothes, or any other service that requires service workers. Then tell me I don’t serve a necessary function in society, and don’t deserve benefits.
Edit: Don’t even get me started on our janitorial staff. The things those poor fuckers have to clean up in our restroom 3 times a day are fucking ludicrous. They get paid as much as I do, and have the same benefits. One of our janitors just finished her bachelor’s, and is currently getting her Master’s.
Edit 2: I have 4 associates degrees, and was one year away from finishing my double major at a T10 before I had to drop out due to medical reasons.
Edit 3: I just wanna share one of my co-worker’s experience, because it’s depressing as hell. She’s 26, and has two kids (6 and 2). She splits a small studio with her boyfriend. She works nights and watches the kids during the day, he works days and watches the kids at night. They both drive 40+ minutes to work, and need to upkeep two cars so that they can both get to their separate work spaces. She’s been so sick the last week that she’s hacking up mucus most of the day. She can’t take the day off, or she can’t make rent. She also cleans the coffee pots and other dishes, handles food, and is in close proximity to the rest of us. Naturally, everyone else in my workplace is now becoming sick (including me). The poor thing can wear a mask, but like… Jesus. This is fucking untenable. It’s shameful.

LONG POST WARNING
Hello everyone,
My partner (24F) and I (25M) returned home from our 3-week Japan trip last week and due to us using this sub a lot during our planning I thought it would be helpful for other current planners to upload a trip report.
Our main interests are Japanese traditions and history, street style/culture, and food so keep reading if these interests are mutual. Read to the bottom to see how much we spent plus some tips and disappointments.
Prelude
We were caught up in the madness at Dubai airport during our layover. Long story short; Airport (and the rest of Dubai) flooded and caused all the flights to be cancelled. What was meant to be a 5-hour layover turned into a torturous 36 hour wait. No staff to be seen, crowds of people arguing, fighting, and crying. We queued for 12 hours to get a new boarding pass for the next flight to Japan. We were meant to fly to Haneda but settled for Narita as we needed to get out of that place as soon as possible but still ended up missing our first day in Tokyo (should have had 5 days). We can’t complain too much as some of the people I spoke to on emirates were in the airport for up to 5 days before getting a flight back to their departure destination. Oh, and our baggage was missing with us only receiving our checked in bags on day 19. Cheers Emirates.
Day 1
Arrived in Shinjuku around midnight. We went straight to Don Quiojte to buy some replacement cosmetics and clothes. The combination of no good-quality sleep for 48 hours and the stimulating nature of the store was very intense! We then started to walk back towards the hostel and passed a Ichiran, so dropped in for some 2am ramen. Not the best ramen I’ve ever had but was still very good for the price.
Steps: 21,643 (includes some airport steps)
Day 2
Woke up and ate the free breakfast at the hostel (this turned out to be a really good money saver for the whole trip as we are not huge eaters in the morning anyway, but it was good to get something light in us before a long day walking). We then walked through the Shinjuku Gyoen Garden – saw some late blooming cheery blossoms and overall, it was a really beautiful botanical garden.
The next stop was Meji Shrine and a walk through Yoyogi park. The shrine was cool to see, especially as it was our first one in Japan. Saw a middle-aged man wearing denim hotpants so short that his balls were hanging out?!?!
Walked to Shibuya to see the scramble. This was cool but also felt it was a bit underwhelming at ground level but the view from Shibuya station walkway was wicked. Lunch was at a conveyor belt sushi place on the top floor of this department store right next to the scramble. This would be higher than average quality sushi in Europe, so it blew our minds that it was available on the top floor of a department store and for so cheap.
Shimokitazawa – We picked up some bargains at 2^nd street and I treated myself some Japanese jeans from a small Demin shop called Bears. The guy in the shop was super helpful and friendly and even tailored the trousers to exactly my size.
In the evening, we first had a poke around Golden Gai and then headed towards Shibuya and stopped in a cool bar where the owner was mixing vinyl while he mixed your drinks (think it was called Q Bar).
We had previously bought tickets to a gig at Circus for one of my fav rappers who I’d been wanting to see for a while. Also really enjoyed seeing the local Japanese warm up acts. Stayed until 5am and then go the train straight to the Tsukiji outer fish market. Was there way too early and had to wait roughly an hour for thing to open. Went to chill by a bench for a bit and by the time we went back to the market it was rammed! Went to bed around 8:30am.
Steps: 32,159
Day 3
We woke up at 2:30pm, got ready, and headed to the Bunkyo civic centre for the free observation deck. We heard it wasn’t meant to be the best Tokyo skyline view but for a free attraction we thought it was very good! Jimbocho book town was also very cool to see. We had a peak into a couple adult movie/magazine stores where I don’t think the owner appreciated our presence as western tourists.
In the evening, we first went for Ramen at Motenashi Kuraki in Asakusa Bashi. Honestly probably the best Ramen I’ve had to date. I ordered the Black Pepper Shio special, and it blew my mind. Even though the staff didn’t speak English they were very accommodating for my partner who doesn’t eat meat (pescetarian but will brave a meaty broth).
We then had a stroll around Akihabara and played some dance mat games in the arcades before heading back for an earlyish night.
Steps: 28,680
Day 4
I couldn’t sleep so got up around 3am and did some admin stuff to try and get our bags back to us ASAP. Chatted to people in the hostel for a few hours.
We arrived at Senso-ji for around 8am. Wasn’t too busy at this time and the temple was impressive. Went for a coffee down the road and had a chill for about an hour before heading into Asakusa. Got admission to the Drum museum which was wicked. Only 400 yen each and had the whole place to ourselves to smack some big fucking drums and make as much noise as we wanted.
We then started to head towards Ueno but made a slight detour to Kappabashi Dougu street to peruse the Japanese chef knives and other cookware. Grabbed lunch from a 7/11 and went and sat in Ueno park which was super busy. There was some food market event on which loads of food stalls had set up. There was also a stage with some J-pop performers and people dressed as ninjas dancing in the crowd. Weird to say the least. By mid-afternoon we were pretty tired so headed back to the hostel for a nap.
In the evening, we headed down to Harajuku and stopped by Big Love records. My partner is really into vinyl, so this was definitely a highlight for her. She picked up Wu Tang 36 chambers in case you were wondering. We then went for food at Afuri as my partner wanted to try the Vegan ramen to which she said it was ok but nothing special. My cold dipping noodle dish was very tasty, however. We then stumbled across this vinyl listening bar called Bar Music on the 5^th floor of this pokey building on the outskirts of Shibuya for a few drinks before bed. There was such a good vibe in there and the cocktails were super good for the price. If you’re looking for a romantic spot, then this is the place to go.
Steps: 31,818
Day 5
Today we headed to Kyoto on the shinkansen around midday after a slow morning chilling in and around the hostel and catching up on some sleep. Checked in to the hostel and had a walk around downtown Kyoto, stopping at 2^nd Street to buy some more clothes.
In the evening, we headed to Kodai-Ji to see the shrine lit up at night. We couldn’t believe how few people were there as it was stunning and truly magical place to be at night. It also has a bamboo grove (much better than Arashiyama, see below). The bar for Kyoto shrines/temples had been set very high.
Walked down Pontocho alley and stopped at a yakitori restaurant which was just ok. We knew it was going to be average when we looked around the restaurant and it was just western tourists dining.
Steps: 25,255
Day 6
First thing in the morning we rented bikes and cycled across the city to Arashiyama. Parked the bikes at the train station and walked up through Arashiyama. We were expecting it to be busy but there were so many people it was almost impossible to move. Had a look around the bamboo grove and was slightly underwhelmed after our visit to Kodai-Ji so we took the tram and then bus up to Kosan-Ji. This was very much worth the 45-minute journey as there was only one other group there and the temple nestled between the trees overlooking the river was breath-taking. On the whole, Arashiyama was way too packed during peak times to enjoy and with everything else Kyoto has to offer we wouldn’t say it was a must see.
We then picked up the bikes from the train station and cycled back across Kyoto taking the long route to explore and get lost. Once we dropped off the bikes, we went for another explore and this time went into WeGo for more clothes shopping. At this point we’d pretty much matched the amount of clothing that we had packed in our checked-in luggage that was still stuck in Dubai.
After a nap we walked towards the metro and stopped at a Katsu restaurant as we wanted to try something different, and it was pretty good. For the price of 1300 yen each we got so much food/sake and left stuffed.
Fushimi Inari in the evening. Like Kodai-Ji, we would recommend visiting Fushimi Inari at night. Firstly, to help avoid the crowds (we got there around 9pm and there was hardly anybody there) and secondly as seeing it lit up at night is a nice change. It was however slightly creepy at night, especially as it was lightly raining. My partner started to get a bit scared once we saw the signs to be careful of the wild boar and monkeys haha. We didn’t make it to the top of Mt Inari as the rain started to get heavy but still very much enjoyed walking through the hundreds of tori gates, stopping off at the shrines and soaking up the history.
Steps: 23,686
Day 7
Today was a late start as even after 8 hours sleep the 25k plus steps a day was starting to catch up with us.
We took the metro to Shimogamo Shrine in north Kyoto. It was very peaceful and quiet however temple fatigue had definitely set in at this point. We then walked through Kyoto to the beginning of Philosophers path. We had seen on this sub that people recommend skipping it unless its Sakura season however we disagree. The path along the river is so pretty and atmospheric, along with the fish gently swimming along in the river.
Kyoto Hand Crafts Centre – if you have the money then this is a great place to pick up souvenirs.
Pre-booked Sushi Iwa for a 15 course Omakase. The food was amazing, but it came to an eye watering 28k yen each. The difference for our western palettes between mid-range sushi and exceptional sushi is negligible. Nonetheless it was a good experience and I’m glad that we did it.
Steps: 23,751
Day 8
Today was an empty day in terms of things we wanted to do, so used it to walk the city and explore.
We checked out the Nishiki market and ate various fried foods on sticks which were all pretty tasty. We then walked northwards, stopping for coffee before reaching the imperial palace. By this point we were very much bored of temples and structures of similar architecture, but we actually ended up enjoying walking the palace grounds and seeing the buildings more than we thought and would recommend it to those who find themselves in north Kyoto.
A leisurely walk back down towards downtown Kyoto, stopping off at a wicked standing soba joint. Forgotten the name but their curry soba was delicious.
Chao Chao gyozas (only veggie gyoza place we could find) for our evening meal before a night cap at the bar across the road before bed.
Steps: 23,304
Day 9
Shinkansen to Hiroshima arriving around 11am.
Checked into hostel and then went straight to the A-dome, peace memorial and museum. We thought the museum was very moving and captured the horror of the events that unfolded very well. A must see for sure.
Okonomiyaki at Okonomimura and then some vintage clothes shopping in Hondori.
Went back out for food in the evening and ended up getting Okonomiyaki again. This time it we enjoyed it a lot more than we did at lunch (probably because we got it covered in cheese). There are a few streets by Hiroshima station with lots of bars and restaurants on top of each other, much like Golden Gai in Shinjuku, however they are not super touristy and has a more laid-back feel to them.
We then went to some bars in the city centre. The best one we stumbled across was called Tropical Bar Revolucion. It was on the 8^th floor and the smoking balcony overlooked the city. Plus, the beers in there tasted so good and I’m not sure why.
Steps: 23,299
Day 10
A hungover morning. Headed to the Hiroshima National Gardens. Going to some gardens is my go-to hangover activity as its low effort, relaxing, and feels productive. These gardens in particular were great and we really appreciated the signs explaining the history behind the space. Overall, we enjoyed this more than the national gardens in Shinjuku.
Public baths near Dobashi in the afternoon. If you’re feeling brave enough to get your kit off in front of 10s of strangers, then this is a good experience. Male and female baths are separate. Can’t go wrong for 400 yen.
Went for a drink at Bar Pretty and then realised the effect of golden week on trying to get a table walking into a restaurant. Walked around for about an hour with no success so settled for food from a department store food court. Sounds miserable but the food was pretty good for the price, and it was busy in there, so it still had an atmosphere.
Steps: 29,487
Day 11
Miyajima Day. Took the ferry to the island arriving at 10:30am. The Ryokan staff met us at the port and collected our bags to take back to the hotel.
Had a mooch around the port area before doing the hike up Mt Misen. The climb to the top on a hot day is not to be underestimated. Sweating buckets, but the route and the view from the top was amazing and one of the standout highlights of the whole trip.
After descending Mt Misen, we bought some beers, oysters and, ice cream and sat along the beach wall and chilled in the sun for a couple hours. The hotel staff then picked us up from the ferry terminal, we checked in and went straight to the Onsen for a couple hours before dinner. Dinner was a traditional kaiseki meal (with more courses than I can remember) served in the banquet hall with the other guests.
While the staff converted our retro ryokan room and set up the futons we had a few more beers before bed.
Steps: 20,803
Day 12
Today we had a chilled morning on the island, having a stroll and stopping for some coffees. We then took the ferry back to Hiroshima, stopping for Okonomiyaki one more time, before taking the shinkansen to Osaka.
Checked into our hostel near Namba and went out for a walk around 8pm. When looking for somewhere to eat we walked past a sign for a vegetarian Indian restaurant called Shama. After nearly two weeks of pure Japanese food we were craving some variety so decided to head in. Located on the basement floor of a particularly run down looking building the restaurant was not the most glamorous. Barely enough space for 10 people, it was hot in there. A constant stream of people was coming in and out of the restaurant and we were lucky enough to walk in when there were two spaces available. From sitting down at the table to receiving our food we waited just under an hour. This would be enough to put most people off but fuck me the food was good when it did finally arrive. We got a selection of 4 different curries, naan breads and samosa. We left stuffed. If you’re in the area this is definitely a place worth checking out.
Steps: 25,502
Day 13
Our first stop of the day was the Umeda Sky Building. Not suitable if you are scared of heights as the glass elevator made our stomachs drop slightly. The views were impressive but we thought the price was a bit steep at 1500 yen each.
We then spent the afternoon wondering about near Namba and Shinsujibashi dropping into shops and picking up some food.
For dinner we made a reservation for a Mexican restaurant near Dotonbori. Massive margheritas, nachos and enchiladas. The food was great, and it shows by how busy the place was still at 10pm. It had been open since the late 70’s with the décor to match and it had a great atmosphere.
Steps: 27,290
Day 14
Checked out Tsuruhashi and Korea Town. Loved the market – dimly lit maze of numerous food and clothing vendors. Stopped to have some Korean stew and pancakes and it was delicious. One of the best meals of the trip.
Shinsekai in the evening. What I can describe as the armpit of Osaka. We loved it. Dirty? Yes. Rowdy? Yes. Rough around the edges with a red light district to top it all off. We had Kushikatsu to finish the evening off. Fried stuff on a stick – of course it going to be tasty but it wasn’t exactly flavour town.
Steps: 23,777
Day 15
Took the train to Minoh and hiked up the trail to see the waterfall. Hike was easy in comparison to Mt Misen and the waterfall was very cool to see. Had a wonder around Minoh stopping for some lunch at a Ramen bar.
We went to the Team lab botanical gardens in the evening. It was very awe inspiring seeing all the installations lit up.
After sampling Japanese McDonalds (I had a burger where the buns were made out of rice) we went for some drinks at Zerro. We liked this bar a lot, the guys working there were very friendly and it had a good vibe.
We then sat and watched the skaters at triangle park with some beers from the konbini before going to see Dj Masda at Circus until around 4am. This area of Osaka was such a vibe and came back here a few times over our 6 days here. Overall, a very fun evening.
Steps: 26,130
Day 16
Woke up chronically hungover but powered on and went to see a baseball game. You’re allowed to bring food and drink into the stadium (as long as alcohol is in plastic/paper cups) so we grabbed some beers and snacks from family mart. We had no idea what was happening but the atmosphere was electric and we enjoyed getting pissed and cheering.
Had a nap and then went to Hafez for middle eastern food. The food was good but not amazing, nothing in comparison to my local middle eastern restaurant back home. Chilled around the Namba park/Big step area. Loved this area so much, we are big into street fashion and culture so this place really ticked some boxes. Lots of skaters and street wear stores concentrated around here. Got an early night watching Battle Royale back at the hostel.
Steps: 22,065
Day 17
Today we went to the Umeda area. Popped into some shopping centres and had Omurice for lunch. It was tasty but not something I will crave when back home. Good experience trying it though. We then walked through Yodoyobashi along the rivers and got gelato and sat in the rose garden. The sun was beating down and we enjoyed just chilling in the sun eating our ice cream.
Compufunk Records were holding a party in their store. Decent gaff with some very welcoming and kind people to party with until the early hours.
Steps: 21,267
Day 18
We reluctantly left Osaka for Hakone today. Very sad to go but onwards to the next adventure. Took the shinkansen to Odawara and then the Hakone Tozan Train to Gora. Checked into our Ryokan and relaxed in the Onsen for a few hours.
Went for a walk around Gora and had dinner at the Ryokan before watching Predator in bed.
Steps: 16,926
Day 19
Today we did the Hakone Loop, starting early in Gora.
Started with the Open-air museum and it was great. We loved the installation and ended up spending 3 hours slowly making our way round. Got some cool photos as well for the gram.
Ropeway to Lake Ashi. This was absolutely terrifying. You have to swap cable cars 3 times on the way over and the warnings of the service being suspended due to the wind was announced at each stop. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but one section made me literally freeze in terror due to the winds outside so try to do it on a calm weather day.
We then took the pirate boat (bit underwhelming) across the Lake and stopped for some soba noodles and a wander around. Unfortunately it was way too cloudy to even get a chance at seeing Mt Fuji.
Train to Kamakura and checked into our super cute traditional hostel near the beach.
Dinner at an Izakaya from the hostel owners recommendation. Food great and beers slipped down a treat. First time I tried Yuzu Kosho as well – I’m now addicted to the stuff and literally cover all my food with it.
Steps: 19,512
Day 20
A slow start to the morning. Weather was pretty bad but we still managed to hit all the main sights in Kamakura. Big Buddha was a refreshing sight from the temples. Did some shopping up Komachi Dori. Highlight of the day was Hukokaji temple. It was so peaceful and zen in the rain with its very own matcha tea ceremony backdropped by bamboo forest. This turned out to be our second favourite temple/shrine we visited, just being beaten by Kodaji.
In the evening we went for Sushi at a conveyor belt place. Figured this would probably be my last Japanese sushi of the trip so devoured 7000 yen worth of sushi and beer. Went back to the hostel and invited some of the other guests to drink with us. The owner of the hostel had some bayberry homebrew, so we got stuck into that.
Steps: 20,494
Day 21
Enoshima Island is just a 25 min train from Kamakura. Started off the day by walking to the top of the island to get French toast and a beer with a lovely view across the bay. We then headed up the Sea candle to check out the observation deck, still the illusive Mt Fuji hides behind the clouds.
We then bought admission to the caves beneath the island which was pretty cool. I won’t ruin the surprise but there’s something waiting for you at the end of one of the caves.
Had an explore around the rockpools near the caves and took some cool photos. We then had a pizza with fish on which was pretty crazy. Walked around the island a little bit more and I picked up some more Japanese denim which wasn’t the cheapest but the quality of the trousers are great and will last me a lifetime.
Back to Tokyo in the evening.
Went for Izakaya around Asakusa and popped into a couple bars. One was called Not Suspicious and the whole bar was covered in handwritten notes by patrons. Very touristy but quite cool at the same time. Our favourite was a drawing of Mario saying It’s a Me Muthafucka.
Steps: 25,903
Day 22
First stop was Don Quiojte to pick up some Yuzu Kosho (if you know you know) and weird flavoured KitKats.
Kappabashi Dougu street to purchase a fine Japanese carbon stell Santoku. Honestly in love with this knife so much. The people at the store were very happy to hear exactly what I was looking for and even let me try before you buy on some daikon radish.
While in Asakusa I had to return to the place where I put the best thing in my mouth in Japan. Motenashi Kuroki. Switched it up this time and had their classic Shio ramen plus the duck rice as a side. Honestly this place is amazing, and you have to go there if you have time. They aren’t veggie/pescy friendly so my partner went for one last round of sushi round the corner. We met up at a massage chair parlour and spent 30 mins relaxing in the chairs.
We had a bright idea to watch the sunset one last time so headed over to the rooftop park on a department store in Shibuya. Sipping on an ice cold Kirin, the sun slowly dropped behind the distant mountains and we knew our trip had come to an end. How symbolic.
Flight at 11pm from Haneda.
Steps: 23,187
On reflection:
I honestly think this trip was almost perfect in terms of hitting our interests and travel style. There was a good balance of doing the typical first time visit to Japan sights and activities while still exploring and seeing what we came across in the moment.
It hard to pinpoint exact highlights of the trip as everywhere we visited had so much going for it in different ways. We loved the rugged and trendy vibe to Osaka, and I think this would be the city I would most want to live in for a considerable amount of time (If I had to choose). Miyajima was also stunning and a great overnight trip with the Ryokan experience. We also underestimated how much we would enjoy Kamakura with its laid-back surfer vibe and access to Enoshima Island.
One random memorable moment that has stuck with me was when we landed at Narita airport, we took the limo bus to Shinjuku. As the driver pulled away, all the staff at the station turned and bowed in unison. It felt so special to first observe a culture totally opposite to the one I grew up with and was at this point I knew I had embarked on the trip of a lifetime.
If I could go back and change something I would probably miss out Hakone and do an extra day in one of the major cities. This isn’t because we didn’t enjoy Hakone, but we feel like it’s a place that needs more time to soak in what’s going on around you (plus the weather was bad when we were there). This being said the Open-Air Museum was amazing and we enjoyed it more than the Teamlab botanical gardens so the trip up the mountains was worth it just for that.
So, how much did we spend per person (not inc flights)?
Accommodation - £765pp
Given that we spent a couple nights in Ryokans raising the average price slightly, we were pretty happy with the accommodation costs. We stayed in a mix of private room and shared dorm hostels and pretty much all of them were spot on. Travelling as a couple meant that anywhere with a private room split the price between 2. The only hostel we didn’t like was the one in Hiroshima, there wasn’t anything in particularly wrong with it, there was just a really bad vibe from the owner and other guests.
Transport - £344pp
This includes shinkansen to and from all the major cities as well as our suica top ups for metros and buses. Unless your itinerary is something like 3 days Tokyo, 2 days Osaka 2 days Kyoto then there really isn’t any point getting the JR pass now that the price has increased.
Activities – £280pp
It is hard to give an exact amount for activities and food as 1) I didn’t track what we spent our cash on and 2) my partner and I would take in turns paying for things like temple admission. That being said I’ve allocated 25% of the cash we spent to activities such as temple admission. Activities includes our baseball tickets plus club entries as well as temple and museum admissions etc.
Food – £962pp
As above, its hard to give an exact amount for food. On the whole we tried to eat cheap with possible, especially at the start of our trip. There were a few expensive meals peppered in plus we ate out twice a day towards the end of our trip as we realised we were under budget.
The total is a bit skewed as this includes all the alcohol we bought in bars as well as the konbini trips for beers and cigarettes. I estimate that booze accounts for around a third of the total per person. If you would like to do Japan on a budget, reducing the booze will make a big difference.
Shopping/Souvenirs/Gifts – £607 (just me)
We went hard with the shopping. We didn’t actually receive our checked in luggage until day 19 so we had to buy all new clothes and cosmetics. If this wasn’t the case, then I don’t think I would have spent so much (airline is comping us for the additional clothing bought anyway). I also bought a fairly expensive chef knife and Japanese denim pieces, plus lots of gifts for friends and family. Obviously, this number could theoretically 0 if you are on a serious budget and did no shopping but I really underestimated Japanese shopping, especially thrifting. Also, given our cheap choices when it came to accommodation we could afford to splurge. However just to note my partner spent less than half than I did on shopping.
Total: £2958 (582,628 yen at time of writing)
I kept within my budget of £3000. I definitely got a bit frivolous with the cash in the last few days or so, if being as careful as I was towards the start of the trip, I think the total would be closer to £2500.
Disappointments
Takoyaki. We thought it was going to be all about the octopus but were disappointed with our balls of sloppy goo surrounding tiny chewy pieces of octopus. We tried it twice and couldn’t get behind it. Sorry Takoyaki fans.
Arashiyama. Way too busy, especially around the main station and bamboo grove. If it’s the bamboo you are going to see, then Kodaji is a much better spot.
Dotonburi. Albeit we were there in golden week, and it was pretty busy. However, I get the feeling this area has fallen to the past its golden days title and has become a bit of a cash cow for places selling spiralised potatoes on a stick. The area around Namba park was a better option for us.
Tips
Konbini. Absolute life saver for snacks and drinks on the go. The food quality for a convenience store is higher than most other countries so we had no problem with grabbing a meal from one to help keep within our budget.
Don’t over pack – even though we didn’t get our checked in bags, I still packed light so had plenty of space to bring stuff back. Emirates give you your allowance by weight rather than number of baggage so we could check in additional bags on the way back.
Don’t be scared of hostels. If you don’t want to brave the shared dorms, then most hostels offer private rooms with just the shower and toilet shared. Obviously, it’s cheaper if there are two people sharing a room.
Don’t stress about cash. Most places take debit/credit card and if they don’t, you’re never more than 5 minutes from a konbini ATM.
For us, golden week didn’t seem that big of an issue. No problems booking shinkansen around GW. We spent most of GW in Osaka, as such it was going to be busy anyway so maybe we didn’t see much of a difference from normal numbers in the spring.

I am 36 years old. I don't have any friends. I haven't been in a relationship in two years. I don't make as much money as I would like. I am have a really slow recovery from a tonsillectomy and I am just having a hard time getting myself motivated to do anything.
I had one pretty good friend, an ex, and we went on a platonic trip together in March. I had a really good time and generally enjoyed myself. Got to see Chichen Itza and get some fun in at the cenotes and beach. Since then we haven't hung out though. In her texts she said the guy she has been seeing is moving out of town in a few months so she is spending time with him. She has dated him off and on for 20+ years and this has never been an issue before so I do feel like some of this is also just fatigue of hanging out with me. We didn't get in any fights on the trip but it did show we have much different priorities/personalities. She brought her dogs, they go everywhere with her, and one is incontinent so it was dictating quite a bit of our schedule but I am pretty used to this so I felt like I handled it fairly well. I also do think some of this is her boyfriend not wanting us to hangout, which is understandable. I just said No worries and we haven't talked since. She didn't message me on my birthday, but I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't remember. We have been hanging out regularly for 2-3 years so it is a bit of a hit, but it was something that felt ultimately was going to happen so I am not mad, just a little sad. I haven't hung out with anyone other than my dad since the middle of March though.
Just hurts to not have anyone to hangout with at all. I have talked to two coworkers and one of them has bailed on me multiple times and the other just said he was too busy to make any plans in the first place. I have done meetups in the past but I always just feel so awkward not knowing anyone and I am awful at initiating contact with anyone, guys or girls. I also just don't really have that many interests, even though I tend to enjoy most things I do. I own a dirt bike but haven't gotten out to use it because it is really hard to load by myself and I am just not that confident with it. And if I am doing anything alone without somebody else keeping me accountable I tend to just blow it off. I have also tried Bumble BFF but honestly was so turned off by it. I kept on getting hit on, creepy af, and it just feels awkward.
I feel like I am bad at making friends because I am not very personable and also tend to overshare and say stupid things just because I haven't talked to anyone in so long it is just kind of like a dam bursts.
I would like to get back into judo or jujitsu, but with college and my mortgage I am barely squeaking by financially, and 200+ a month is a little too much for me. I even canceled my cable plan to save some money for bills despite loving basketball. I also don't really have enough energy for active hobbies due to my tonsillectomy right now.
I work full time and am taking college classes at the same time. I was never the best student, but I have finished 9 computer science courses and a statistics class over the last 2.5 years. I have 5 classes left for my bachelors and am on course to graduate Spring 2025. Straight A's and one B+ so far so I have been really happy with my grades, but the industry has completely fallen apart over the last year or two and I am worried that after investing all this time and money into going back to college I might not be able to get a job. The best student I know wasn't able to land a single internship this summer and that really shocked me. He is an amazing programmer, better than anyone I know.
Because I have a mortgage on a little duplex I cannot really afford to do an internship to try and help my job prospects, I am going to really have to rely on doing well in the interviews. I am also planning on trying to take advantage of the career fairs and other on-campus opportunities next fall but that is so not my comfort zone that I don't want to set my expectations really.
With how busy I am it has also been a great excuse for myself to not pursue more social outlets and the only thing I do for dating is online apps and while I can get the occasional date I don't think I have ever actually had a real connection through it. I am just bad at connecting with people on a personal level, be it friends or dates. I have been on so many first dates it is kind of depressing. The town I live in isn't small, like 150k, but I feel like I am running low on options after years of failures.
I had been suffering from chronic tonsillitis over the last year. I had 5 bouts in total, three of which were back to back episodes from January to March this year. I got a tonsillectomy on April 20 and am still having problems swallowing food. I am basically still on a puree diet.
Getting the tonsillectomy was a real eye opener for me because with my ex not being a contact anymore I didn't have anyone to rely on so I had to have my father fly out and spend a week with me. I didn't have any friends to rely on and it really just kind of hit me how depressing my life is. All of my old high school friends, who I don't keep up with, have families.
The one thing I had going for me is that I had a decent physique. Due to a lack of a social life I was pretty good at going to the gym and lifting regularly. I was 6'1 and 180-185 pounds, nothing impressive but I was happy with myself. I am down to 160 pounds now since my tonsillectomy though and I am just extremely low energy all the time. My summer class started today and I am having a lot of issues just focusing after an 8-hour work day, even though I only work remotely on a computer.
During COVID I really made leaps and bounds to improve myself. I quit cigarettes after 15 years, I started going back to class. Got my own place and gained 40 pounds (in a good way) but after losing half of that weight and generally being miserable from my tonsillectomy it is just so hard to motivate myself to even go to the gym anymore and for 3 years I never had a problem getting off my butt to go to the gym, even if it was just for a mediocre lifting session.
I used to love playing video games and watching tv shows/movies but now I just find myself mindlessly watching youtube or reading and don't even have the attention span or interest in booting up a video game anymore or trying to find a show or movie to watch.
I always wanted a family, but I have never really had a successful relationship in my life and now since my tonsillectomy I have become a lot less sexually motivated than before. I don't even have the urge to masturbate anymore, and sex was never a strong point of mine in the first place, leading me to believe it will be even worse moving forward. I also just have never connected with somebody on like a really deep level and feel like years of failures/insecurity just kind of burden me a this point. And I am getting to the age now where I feel like I am almost beyond the point where this is still possible. It is weird telling somebody I am 36 and my longest relationship was only 4 months long.
I feel like I am on the right track on paper with only one year left until I graduate and I kind of really want to move even though I love where I live just so I can get a fresh start, but at the same time I am terrified I will graduate and just be in the same situation I am currently in. I also could never afford to buy another place without a better salary. The only reason I was able to afford what I currently have is because I bought during the 2020 market and got a 2.34% APR. But even with that my mortgage is close to 40% of my take home right now and I have one of the cheapest places in town.
I don't really have anyone to vent to or destress to so I just wanted to post something from a throwaway account. My dad has been texting me daily because I think he realizes how unhappy I am and I really appreciate that.
I have been wanting to go see some Nuggets games at the bar, but I still cannot drink alcohol until I am eating food again so I have just been following highlights on youtube. I also have never been a fan of hanging out at bars. I enjoy shooting pool but I am not good at social settings like that.
I will leave it at this for now. A very long, poorly formatted ramble. But I have seen much worse. Thanks.

I have been looking for 8mm filters that are not made from plastic. I have found a few 6mm natural fibre filters, and I cannot understand why not in 8mm. Is 8mm for tobacco/cigarettes irregular?
I tried the 8mm RAW cotton filters, and experienced zero draw. I tried unpacking the densely packed filter, hastily got annoyed and regretfully threw the whole bag out thinking “how could they sell a product that does not work?”
I tried to get Arango organic filters, but the one site that carries them does not deliver outside the US, and the other site is a wholesaler. I am in Canada.
I tried to order from Mr Tipps for their bamboo corn filter. This product looks pretty cool. But there is a website error that prevents me from completing the order while checking out. And they are unresponsive to emails.
In the meantime I have been stuffing bits of cotton in pre rolled tips. But this is pretty tedious. Am I S.O.L.? I moved to RYO for a cleaner smoke. Tobacco, paper, filter. And there does not seem to be a market for filters made from a non plastic material. Cotton, paper, corn, etc.
I would genuinely like to understand why not? I am blue collar, and it seems like most smokers around me are only interested in the cheapest smoke they can get and don’t care what is in it or what it is made from or even how bad the smoke is. I would think smoking through a plastic filter would be undesirable.
I would move to just pre rolled paper tips, but I get tongue bite when smoking without filters, and loose tobacco falls out. Perhaps I could dry the tobacco a bit more, and try a slower draw more like cigar smoking. I don’t know.
Any suggestions? Thank you.

First Part - I play a game they call "Sleep Points". Every night I hide under my blanket (Part 1) : nosleep (reddit.com)
Previous Part - I play a game I call "Sleep Points". Every night I hide under my blanket (Part 19) : nosleep (reddit.com)
I had no idea how to react to any of this. There was a long awkward pause of about 30 or 40 seconds where I just kept my mouth shut and let Anastasia let it all out. My first instinct, though, was to ask probably the dumbest question I could’ve asked at that moment.
“Who’s Wendy Peterson?” I asked. I immediately regretted the question. This was obviously a person ENORMOUSLY important to Anastasia, and here I was, just asking who the hell she was, like she was some nobody. But Anastasia didn’t seem too upset. I guess my question took her mind off the tragedy with her friend, since she seemed to regain her composure a bit after I asked that.
“I –“ she started, then took a few breaths. “I believe I mentioned her in passing during our meeting in the Stairwell a few days ago. When I was a new player, I needed guidance of my own. Wendy was the one who gave it to me,” she explained. “Excuse me for a moment,” she said, leaving the bedroom. I wasn’t entirely sure what she headed out for, but when she came back with a carton of orange juice and a bottle of vodka, it got pretty clear.
“Honestly, I should’ve been expecting this…” she trailed off, somberly, pouring herself a shot from the bottle and promptly downing it. “Her time was nearly up,” she explained. “One cannot play Sleep Points forever, Morgan. You can extend your time with this game all you like, but The Sandman always collects his due,” she said.
“Would you care for any?” she asked, gesturing towards the vodka bottle. On the one hand, she was probably one of the smartest, most athletic, and most all-around most accomplished students in school. She had all the best grades, all the best awards, all the best everything. And yet still, THIS was apparently the person that all those after-school specials had warned me about when they would try and scare me about “peer pressure”.
I had never been offered anything like alcohol or weed or cigarettes or ANYTHING by anyone before. Well scratch that, now and then Ezra would offer me some skunk-weed for like 90 bucks a gram. He used to make a killing heading down to the seedier parts of town buying the cheapest pot he could he get his hands on, and then re-selling it over at College High for a fucking LAUGHABLE mark-up.
Now, I had never smoked before, but even I of all people could tell that whatever Ezra was selling was absolutely NOT worth what he was charging. But a lotta freshmen at College High were so desperate for ANYTHING to get ‘em high and they’re obviously not always the sharpest tools in the shed, so even with his INSANE scalping techniques, he STILL found plenty of willing buyers.
But either way, it was ONE thing when the school edgelord offered you something. That just kinda comes with the territory, and you pretty much know to expect it. But to be offered alcohol – and very STRONG alcohol at that – by my school’s model student was nothing I could’ve ever expected. Although, this was also the same girl who was telling me to steal my parents’ car keys, sneak out in the middle of the night without either one of our parents knowing, and head on over to her place. So maybe encouraging me to break the law wasn’t THAT far out of Anastasia’s wheelhouse, come to think of it.
“Well, I DID have to drive up here. I’m gonna have to drive back, too, y’know. You DO realize that, right?” I said.
“Oh c’mon, one shot won’t kill you,” she said, trying to egg me on a little. “You’ll be sober by the time you leave at 3. And besides. What other cars will be out at THIS time of night? Don’t let Ezra’s hallucination tricks fool you. He can make you see all KINDS of things, Morgan. If you wanna know if he’s REALLY there, just poke him,” she said, downing a second shot. Which was a bit concerning to me, because I had always heard about how you’re supposed to pace yourself with drinking and this second shot came pretty shortly after the first.
“If he’s not, your finger will go right through him. Why, it’s practically a rite of passage for new players to be thoroughly bamboozled by one of Ezra’s visual gags,” she explained. “Some would call it hazing. And I would not find that to be an unfair assessment. Ezra has a rather twisted sense of humor to say the least. Tricking you into thinking that you were about to crash headlong into his vehicle is perfectly consistent to his character,” she said. Had I told her about that? I figured it didn’t really matter, since she would’ve found out either way.
“I tend to prefer my vodka neat, though I suppose you have yet to become acclimated to the taste. It is most off-putting to the inexperienced. That is why I have brought this carton of orange juice, such that the alcoholic flavor of your beverage shall be masked to a comfortable extent,” she said. “Now don’t worry, I will only pour in ONE shot. You would hardly taste it,” she concluded, as she finished pouring out my drink.
I took a sip. I’ll admit, it tasted a little funky, but not enough to gross me out or anything. So, I had a little more. Anastasia seemed quite pleased with this. She then poured herself a THIRD shot. So, just because I feel like keeping score, we were now only about 20 minutes into our meeting and this girl was on shot number THREE. She had only brought the bottle out about 10 minutes before this. Though in her defense, she didn’t have any more after that. Y’know. For about another 20 minutes. Yeah.
“That should be quite enough,” she said, finishing her third shot. She got up, put the bottle and the orange juice away, and we were back to Wendy.
“Now, Wendy is not someone you would be familiar with, because she is from upstate,” she explained. “VERY upstate. She lives in Barrow,” she said. Technically, that little town in the way far north of Alaska changed its name to something else a few years before all this, but I can’t pronounce or spell it, so I’ll just be calling it by it’s old name “Barrow” since that’s easier.
“Well, ‘lived’, perhaps I should say,” she said correcting herself. “I too lived in Barrow until fairly recently. Though my family had moved to Alaska from St. Petersburg when I was 3, we did not move to Fairbanks. Instead, we had moved to Barrow, where we had lived for approximately 10 years from sometime in the spring of 2007 until December 1^st, 2017, just over a year ago now, by now. I recall the date as it was an extremely difficult move. Not least because I had already been playing Sleep Points for over a year by then,” she said.
“Well, what about playing Sleep Points made the move so difficult?” I asked.
“I must remind you that to hide from The Sandman, you must be asleep in your OWN bed,” she explained. “I would not have been capable of escaping the clock by moving. It would follow me throughout my travels, as it ultimately did. And I knew all of this l in advance. For a few dreadful hours, I had truly thought this impromptu move from Barrow to Fairbanks would be the death of me. Surely this would require several nights out of my bed, I had thought,” she explained.
“And I must stress the point that this move was EXTREMELY spontaneous. I had not been told of it even a day in advance. One day my father told me to pack up everything into our RV, and the next, we were on the road. Well, the metaphorical road in any case. Now you see, a particularly complicated facet of my father’s bizarre plan to move us from Barrow to Fairbanks all at once was the fact that there are no roads connecting to Barrow. Typically, when a person leaves town with a great deal of luggage and cargo as we did, given that we had to take all our possessions with us as we would not be returning, it is during the summer, when the oceans have thawed, allowing for various cargo ships to ferry one’s things to one’s desired destination. Given that it was December at the time, this was simply not an option,” she explained.
“And we of course could not use an airplane to fly to Fairbanks given that everything in our old house would never fit on a commercial airliner. The only feasible option was my father’s Recreational Vehicle. It was extraordinarily cramped, but after a few hours when all was said and done, most of our things managed to, in principle, ‘fit’ to some uncomfortable degree or other”, she said. “Though some things did still need to be left behind. Such as my bedframe, for example. Though I had strongly insisted on bringing my mattress.
I did not know for certain if my bedframe was required to stave off The Sandman, but, given the frankly preposterous circumstances in which I had found myself, I had gambled on the notion that all I would need to stay safe would be to sleep in the same mattress. During my first night in the RV, I was entirely unaware of whether or not I would live to see the following day. As midnight approached, I felt my life slipping away from me, as though it were flashing before my eyes, as the old cliché goes. I am forever grateful that my clever loophole successfully warded off my seemingly inevitable demise,” she said.
And again, as a reminder, she’s 3 shots of hard liquor in at this point and still prattling on like a goddamn encyclopedia, just like how she usually would. I gotta admit, I was damn near genuinely impressed with how lucid and intellectual she could still sound, even after all she had had to drink. She didn’t even seem tipsy. Though one thing I will say, is that while she would usually speak in an American accent, the deeper and deeper into her drinking she would get, there would always seem to be more and more bits and pieces of her original Russian accent creeping through. Though at that point, I could hardly notice it. But anyway, back to the story Anastasia was telling me.
“Though I must say, my father was very opposed to me taking my mattress. And I could not, for the life of me, ascertain why. When I asked him, he claimed it was because we needed to conserve as much space as possible, and that, because there was a pullout couch in the RV for me to sleep on, that I should use that instead. But I knew for a fact, for an absolute FACT, that spending even a single night out of my proper bed would end my life most abruptly. And so, I persisted. The rest of the family was already quite opposed to the move initially, and thus I had high hopes of turning them against him, thereby overruling his decision to force me to leave behind my mattress. And, through enough prodding from my mother, my father relented, and I took it with me,” she finished.
“Well, if the rest of your family was so against the move, then how did you guys end up going through with it?” I asked.
Anastasia seemed like she was hesitating a bit to answer the question. For a moment, it looked like she might not have been comfortable answering, but then explained the difficult situation to me as carefully as she could.
“Now that, Morgan, is a rather… complicated question,” she said, slowly. “My father has what one might consider a somewhat… ‘colorful’ past, shall we say,” she explained. “Now, I am not entirely certain of the specifics as he has never been particularly forthcoming about them, but from what I gather, this colorful past of his likely has something or other to do with organized crime or perhaps something else of a similar nature.
In any case, that phase of his life is behind him, and he would most definitely appreciate it remaining that way. That was why we had initially emigrated from Russia in the first place. And why we had moved to Barrow, Alaska in particular. My father wished to make it as challenging as possible for him to be tracked down and, with Barrow being perhaps one of the most remote communities on the face of the earth, he had considered it a strong candidate. But, in late 2017, he unfortunately was tracked down after all. And he had very little time to do anything about it.
As frustrating as it was to have to pick up everything all at once and to travel hundreds of miles through the dense Alaskan forest by RV, we all understood that whatever agents or mafiosos were after him would not spare a single one of us either, thus it was absolutely crucial that we all go into hiding as fast as possible. And so, we acquiesced to my father’s spontaneous decision that we move to Fairbanks as there was a common understanding in the family that he would not be asking any such things of us unless ghosts of his past were coming back to haunt us all. We knew we had no choice but to vacate the premises post-haste.
As it so happened, there was, and continues to be, a certain man in Fairbanks that, through methods unbeknownst to me, allows for my father to hide in plain sight, and to never be tracked down again. That made Fairbanks our new safest option, and it is why my father moved us all to this town specifically. This means that we will thankfully never have to make any such sudden change in residency ever again, “she concluded.
“Would you like another drink?” she asked, noticing I had already finished my orange juice with the shot of vodka she had given it. “In any case, I will be pouring myself another shot,” she added. “And I do hate to drink alone. I find alcohol consumption far more rewarding when drinking in the company of a friend. I am aware that I set a rather poor example by having so much all at once right in front of you, but in my own defense, you should know that I do not drink in such excess when I am alone. I would DEFINITELY never endorse such behavior from anyone else, and it is why I am quite glad to have you around to care for me, should anything go awry,” she said.
“Well, how the hell am I supposed to do THAT if I’m already two drinks in myself?” I asked, trying to be the voice of reason in order to clamp down on all of this, since to me, it looked like things were starting to get out of hand. I wanted to believe she wouldn’t drink like this while alone, and that she was only doing this because she was having a really tough time getting over the death of her best friend Wendy, and just felt safe with me around. Looking back, I think at the time, that was more or less true. Maybe not entirely true, but with the benefit of hindsight, I can confidently say that at this point, having 4 shots in an hour was a bit much, even for Anastasia. But unfortunately for her, it wasn’t about to stay that way in the coming years.
“Morgan, if you are sober enough to ensure that I do not vomit anywhere other than the toilet, you will have done a fine job of caring for me. And I likely will not throw up at all, as I happen to have a rather strong alcohol tolerance as it is,” she said. For a moment, it seemed like there was a hint of pride in her voice, but that quickly went away when she realized what she had just told me, and what it implied about how much she would normally have, even when alone.
“Well, not because of how much I would TYPICALLY have to drink, I should say. This alcohol tolerance of mine is by no means ACQUIRED,” she backtracked. “Rather, it is a simple result of my genetics. My forebearers had a great deal of alcohol tolerance themselves, which it would appear I have inherited,” she explained, defensively. “Well, I’ll pour you out another, in case you would like one, but don’t feel pressure to drink it if you wouldn’t like to. I’ll have it myself, if you are uninterested,” she offered.
On the one hand, I knew I would be scared to death to drive back home if I was two drinks in, but on the other, I really wanted this fourth shot to be her last one of the night and take away any excuse she could have to drink any further. And then there was the fact that I didn’t wanna look ungrateful for her offer. She had already said she considered me a friend, and it seemed really important to her that I just go along with her and have another. This really seemed like her way of reaching out and trying to connect with me, so I just felt bad turning her down.
Though I’ll admit, it may have also been because I had a bit of a buzz going myself and wasn’t gonna say no to a bit more of one. Though I couldn’t let Anastasia know about any of that. If I did, then she’d have an excuse to get me just as wasted as she was, and I seriously could NOT let something like that happen.
“There you are, my good man. Na zdroviye,” she said, clinking her shot glass against my glass of orange juice mixed with a shot of my own.
“I’m sorry?” I asked, not quite getting the last part of what she had said.
“I said ‘na zdroviye’,” she said, a bit more slowly, enunciating the phrase she had said before. “I can’t blame you for being confused. It’s a common Russian saying when sharing a drink with one’s close confidants. It means ‘for good health’,” she explained. “Well, go on. Say it back. Have manners, now,” she said.
“I… don’t think I can pronounce that. I don’t speak any Russian,” I said.
“Understandable. I suppose it’s a somewhat difficult phrase for English speakers. But I would still appreciate your best attempt at it,” she said.
“Well alright, but I won’t promise not to butcher it,” I said, before saying something more along the lines of like “nsdroveh”.
“Meh, close enough,” said Anastasia, before downing her fourth shot of the night.
“This is gonna have to be my last one, though. It’s 1:40, and I’m gonna need to be on the road by about 3, if this meeting is gonna go according to your schedule,” I said.
“What time do your parents wake up on weekends?” she asked. “If they sleep in, you might not have to leave until 4, maybe even 5. I am entering a new stage tonight, and I would not like to go through my first night alone. That, in tandem with the fact that we still have so much more of Sleep Points to go over, is why I am far more concerned with you leaving too early rather than too late,” she said. “We may well need to fit two nights of discussions into one, tonight. Have you met your sleep quota yet?” she asked.
“Well… not quite. But should be able to get 90 minutes in during the day tomorrow. I mean, I’ve been up for 2 days, and it really feels like the new moon has been helping. I’ve already strung together 26 minutes so far, and since tomorrow is Saturday, I’ve got all day tomorrow to get some sleep in,” I explained.
“You cannot afford to risk that. If you still need 90 minutes of sleep within the next 24 hours or so, then it will be far too dangerous for you to risk missing out on it by coming to visit. You must stay at home tomorrow night. I will not let you in if you decide to come anyway,” she said. “26 minutes after two under a waning moon is, I must again say, a rather poor sign. Most by now would have strung together at least a full hour. At least among those only in Stage Two, in any case.
Now, I have no doubt that, with the melatonin I have given you, you will have nothing to worry about this weekend. The new moon will shortly be upon us, and, so long as you have melatonin at your disposal, you will most likely survive the next week or two with relative ease. It is the full moon that concerns me. The full moon on later stages, to be more specific. Not only do I have my reservations about your capacity to survive the upcoming full moon in roughly three weeks’ time, but even if you do, it will still be very worrying when you are confronted with the next full moon, when you are on Stage Three. And there are many more stages beyond that as well, each more sleep depriving than the last.
Even though you sustained 90 minutes of sleep within 72 hours once, it was a rather close call. And not even during a full moon, at that. How much closer of a call will it be when it finally arrives? I don’t see anything happening to you in the immediate future, but when I look to the long-term, I must say that your chances appear quite bleak. Now, since you have only gotten 26 minutes of continuous sleep since your last 90-minute stretch, I suppose that would mean that you have yet utilize any of the melatonin gummies since then, correct?” she asked.
“Oh no, I haven’t had any since then,” I responded. She seemed pretty relieved by that. “Good. Very good. While this does not improve my outlook on your long-term safety, your response thankfully does not worsen my predictions, as I had feared it would. How many melatonin gummies had you taken Wednesday night?” she asked.
“Well, I had taken 10, but that’s not too much, right? I mean, you had said I might need to take up to 10, didn’t you?” I asked.
“While it is true that I had suggested the possibility of requiring up to 10, I had hoped that that amount would not be the amount required of you. I had hoped that you would only need perhaps 5 or 6. While 10 is not entirely beyond the pale, it is still quite unideal. At this rate, you may have even run out of gummies entirely by the time of the full moon. I will provide you with a new container of gummies if I must, but I fear that that will only be putting a band-aid over your issues. How long will that container last? I do not have an endless supply of sleep points to spend on you.
I, myself, shall run out eventually, as my supply of sleep points will not be able to replenish itself if I am so constantly supplying you with increasingly potent sleeping aids. I have plenty of sleeping supplements which I must supply myself if I wish to continue in this new and most challenging stage that I have reached tonight. They are quite expensive, so I will have very little left over in order to cover YOUR insomnia, as well as my own.
You are quite lucky that you did not snoop through my window during this stage. You would have surely died, being that close to The Sandman if I had already graduated to this one by then. That is why, along with being so inappropriate, what you had done was so dangerous. If I had been even one Stage farther along, you would not have come out of that episode alive.
I must now be asleep every hour on the hour from 12AM to 5AM, just I had to be during the previous stage. I must also have been asleep for 5 minutes by the time a new hour is reached, and I must also remain asleep for another 5 minutes beyond that, where before I had only needed to be asleep on the hour, and nothing more.
It is presently 1:50. This means that I now have only 5 minutes to fall asleep, and so I will have to leave things here for now, though I expect to see you back at 2:05, when I may wake up once more. Sit in your truck until then. Do not stand out in the cold. Furthermore, and I cannot stress this enough, do not look through my window. Even after The Sandman is gone. I hope I have made it clear that you should never do any such thing ever again. Now leave. When 2:00 comes, you will not be safe anywhere in the vicinity of my house. I have already wasted another minute explaining the situation to you, so please leave right this instant. Go,” she finished.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I was already panicking for her, knowing that she had to go from being wide awake to completely past out in just 4 minutes. Maybe the alcohol would help put her to sleep. Maybe that was another reason she had had so much. She needed it in order to help her be asleep on time. Though, granted, it was probably more complicated than that.
Either way, I knew to keep away as she had asked. She quickly turned out the light of her bedroom, and once I had gotten my heavy winter coat back on, I sped out back to my truck as fast as I could. I even pulled out of the driveway and drive up the street a little ways just for good measure. And when 2:00 came, I was glad that I had. Even from up the street, I could see that her entire house was now completely enveloped in a sinister red glow. And I could hear The Sandman all the way from out there. It sounded just as loud as it did when it was right next to me in own room. With how loud it was from where I was sitting, I could only imagine how absolutely deafening it must’ve been from where Anastasia had been laying.
How the hell was she managing to sleep so soundly through all of this? I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to know. In any case, I was way too busy with making sure I was far enough away to keep myself safe, as it was. Because the glowing red light was starting to grow, and it was starting to look like it might just have been heading toward me. I wasn’t entirely certain of what would happen if I DID get caught up in the red glow, but I had enough sense to know that it couldn’t possibly have been anything good.

I run a small hedge fund based out of Raleigh, NC. Myself and my Fund are long $HAYPP. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the post. For more blog posts like this check out my Fund's blog at https://www.rogue-funds.com/blog
Also if you would like to see this blog post with pretty pictures you can also check out: https://www.rogue-funds.com/blog/haypp-group
All Financial Figures are in USD unless otherwise specified.
I think HAYPP Group, the biggest online retailer of nicotine pouches, can capture a huge chunk of the sales in what I believe will be the biggest form of nicotine intake growth over the next 10-15 years.
The future of nicotine consumption will be nicotine pouches and it is growing at an unprecedented rate. Here in the States the go to item for nicotine pouches are Zyn’s (owned by Philip Morris), in Europe it’s Velo (owned by British American Tobacco), but there are various other brands that all catching fire: ON! (Altria), Rogue, Juice Head, FRE, Lucy, and Sesh, among various others.
What is HAYPP?
Brief History
HAYPP is an online retailer and distributor of nicotine pouches and snus. The company was started by a couple of Swedish teenagers in 2009 and through mergers and acquisitions they no longer are in charge of the company as the current CEO joined in 2017/2018. The company bought Nicokick.com and northerner.com (northerner owns 9% of stock) which are now both of their main American brands. They switched from Snus to Nicotine Pouches 6 years ago and haven’t looked back.
HAYPP currently owns a roughly 85% online market share for their Nordic part of the business, which they refer to as their “core” business as well as a ~55% market share of the oral nicotine market (85% market share of the legal nicotine pouch e-commerce market) for their growth market which is considered the US, UK, Germany, and Swiss countries.
SEO Powerhouse
So how do they have such a grasp on what would obviously be a hyper competitive online industry? The main reason for their hyper success in the online market is that they have a death grip on the SEO landscape. Their mastery of SEO allows them to spend almost nothing on marketing and to keep pushing out their distribution system (which continues to drive costs down for them and consumers). This creates a positive feedback loop as they become even cheaper than their competitors, allowing them to lock in customers (over 90% of the customers becoming recurring customers).
If you google just about anything related to Nicotine pouches, there is probably a 95%+ chance that the top unpaid search result will be a HAYPP Group Domain. Even niche searches such as “what is an upper decky” (Gen. Z slang for nicotine pouches) or basic searches such as “what are the top nicotine pouches” you will see that HAYPP Group owns the top of the search.
This is huge when sites like Google severely limit the amount of advertising that addictive products can utilize on their search engine. HAYPP ends up barely spending anything on marketing due to 40% of new customers coming through word of mouth and the rest from SEO.
Data
Their other field of expertise is data collection and selling. Due to the large variety of pouches and being the number one online seller of nicotine pouches, they have created a major database which they sell to various nicotine pouch producers such as Philip Morris and Altria. Producers buy these on an annualized basis, and you can see the usage of their data among the investor relation reports/presentations/websites of various producers. As you can see from my beautiful pictures on this post, they compile plenty of data to help me understand the business better.
Lowest Cost Seller and Best E-Commerce Distribution
Due to their distribution network, HAYPP has become one of the cheapest (if not the cheapest) sellers of nicotine pouches in the world. You can buy Zyn’s cheaper from HAYPP websites than you can from the ZYN website. Haypp’s prices are 20-40% cheaper than grocery stores and 30-50% cheaper than convenience stores.
They have been integrating their distribution network so that most variable costs are being converted to vertical fixed costs creating operating leverage for them as they rapidly scale their revenue and are able to increase margins. They have implemented 2-day delivery across the US and close to implementing across Europe markets as well.
Leveraging Market Share for High Quality New Products
The last part of their business model is their ability to leverage their large consumer base to help new products capture market share, which allows them to capture higher margins on their products and it increases the variety of products which consumers would like to buy. In Nordic countries the variety of products is a benefit to them as consumers want to try various brands and flavors. When this competition trend hits the US it will only benefit them even more.
Why Haypp vs Pouch Companies
Currently in the US there are only a couple main brands with Zyn owning a huge chunk of the market. In Europe, Velo is the most popular brand but there are many Nordic brands that consistently attack margins and currently there is little competition in the US market which most likely won’t last much longer. As consumers search out the cheapest product and try to hunt for variety, HAYPP will be that future as convenience stores lag in variety and cost.
Products such as Zyn will definitely continue to grow (currently Zyn is growing at 70% y/y) but we could see margins shrink as competition becomes fiercer and consumers branch out away from the first movers, although Zyn continues to take up 70% of the US market. This only further benefits HAYPP as they are the go-to spot for a large amount of variety. Although they don’t benefit as much from less competition, they are still beneficiaries of an oligopoly esque market due to their cost and distribution networks.
Most large publicly traded pouch companies are also cigarette and chewing tobacco sellers who are rapidly seeing those segments get cannibalized by vaping and nicotine pouches combined with regulatory crackdown risk. Since HAYPP has no exposure to either one, you will not experience any cannibalization outside of snus cannibalization in the Nordics. This is the best pure play bet on nicotine pouch consumption.
Certain countries have limited the ability for consumers to have access to nicotine via retail stores which will allow them to take huge shares of the overall market in places like Germany or in California where they have banned flavored nicotine products in retail stores has led to windfall of customers to HAYPP’s e-commerce model.
Management
The current CEO of HAYPP group, Gavin O’Dowd, used to work for British American Tobacco (BAT) and was the driving force for the VELO acquisition. He currently owns 3.6% of the stock and various other PE firms and Family Offices own large chunks of HAYPP. Most executives have warrants that could give them the right to 200k-400k shares each (29m shares outstanding with no serious history of dilution).
Regulations
As many of you are aware, regulations are a huge part of the nicotine industry. Taxes are going to be huge risks, which are then combined with flavor bans. I think nicotine pouches are one of the products that are least likely to get hit with serious bans since their health risk is much lower than almost any other nicotine product.
The nicotine pouch industry as a whole has been behaving spectacularly well when it comes to ensuring they are not purposefully marketing to young people. They are trying to avoid having a Juul 2.0 fiasco which basically murdered that business and completely fragmented the vaping industry which is on the brink of regulatory crack down.
HAYPP does their part by ensuring age regulation across their whole site. They have age verification to order and deliver. They have a huge emphasis on ensuring that they abide by the law.
Financials
Core Segment (Nordic Countries)
The company is growing heavily in every segment that it operates in. Its core segment seems to be slowing down in growth due to heavy cannibalization from snus sales. This should only be temporary as nicotine pouch volume grows at 30%+ y/y. Once snus nears its cannibalization endpoint, I would expect revenue to begin growing again in its core market (although not at 30%). Current revenue is $250m USD and EBITDA is about $18m USD for just the core segment for the last twelve months. Management expects high single digit EBITDA margins for 2025.
Growth Segment (US, UK, Germany, Switzerland)
The growth segment is skyrocketing. Growth is over 46% y/y and this growth has been consistent and should continue to be consistent. EBITDA margin for the growth markets has begun to inflect positively which will cause a massive amount of leverage in their EBITDA to occur as their fixed cost model begins to do its job. As economies of scale drive forward, we should see this margin increase substantially over the coming years. Currently Revenue is at $77m USD for growth markets and EBITDA is at -$3.5m USD.
Let’s Talk about the Growth Segment a bit more.
This is where the real value from HAYPP will come into play. While it currently begins to inflect positive in terms of profitability, it should be noted that the Growth markets have a massive TAM compared to their core market and could cause the company to 5x in the next few years if they maintain or gain market share and continue to grow in these massive TAMs.
As they grow, their competitive advantage deepens due to sticky customers and cheaper products from economies of scale. The US has an even faster scale of 49%+ growth y/y and HAYPP is outpacing the US nicotine pouch growth at 57% y/y. As the US begins to approve various products and variety begins to flood the US market, a ton of US users want to try various Nordic brands that don’t have access which lends a very strong lean towards an online website such as HAYPP. The US is a very ripe environment along with the UK and Germany (where nicotine can only be sold online) for HAYPP to continue to outperform massively.
Emerging Segment
Their “emerging” segment is where they have begun to introduce vapes into their value chain. HAYPP is beginning to sell vapes to UK and Germany, but it is at the very beginning stages and has no current significant impact on their bottom or top line. The company says the growth they are experiencing in this segment has been very similar to the growth that they experienced when they introduced Nicotine Pouches in growth markets. This is the most likely segment to get hit with regulatory concerns, so for now I won’t even consider this in a to be a profitable unit and will just assume it will be a small drain on EBITDA for the foreseeable future.
Balance Sheet
The balance sheet is great with no large debt burden and good working capital management. As they hit profitability this yeaearly next year I would expect a cash build up until the company decides if they will be returning cash to shareholders or reinvesting in the business.
Valuation
HAYPP is extremely undervalued based on where they are from a profitability standpoint and their current inflection point. Due to their high growth, it will be hard to pinpoint an exact value on them so this will merely be an exercise in estimating their value among a range more than usual (anyone who claims they can perfectly value a high growth company is probably overvaluing due to unsound conviction).
First let’s look at how they are currently valued, which is roughly 14x their core EBITDA. Now let’s take a second and think about how insane that statement was. Their core market is the Nordic countries which will be hitting growth again as their snus cannibalization slows, the Nordic countries basically have no further regulation risk for nicotine pouches, and it is a noncyclical industry. I would argue that 14x their core EBITDA is probably an appropriate valuation based on only their core segment.
What this means is (if you haven’t noticed already) that you are getting their “growth” segment for free based on the valuation of the stock. The growth segment alone is probably worth multiples of the current stock price due to the massive TAM and extreme growth prospects. If we assume the emerging segment is worthless (which it isn’t and it will be profitable at some point) then that means all of the upside in the stock can be based on what the value of the growth segment. Based on TAM, growth, and lack of cyclicality then this leaves the only risk as regulation.
There will most likely be some sort of regulation, but we are very far from that as the Tobacco industry has been very careful in how they implement their new nicotine pouch momentum in a more appropriate way compared to vapes. The most likely regulations will probably be flavor bans of some sort or retail bans (which further benefits HAYPP). Regulations will most likely be limited in scope due to just the sheer lack of mortality risk associated with pouches vs any other form of common nicotine intake.
Based on their probable conservative revenue growth (40% average for the next 3 years, and 15% after that), EBITDA growth, the fact that they will have both core and growth markets at high single digit EBITDA margins in 2025, and their lack of cyclicality, then I would estimate that their Growth markets are worth a very conservative $400m-$500m USD. I am likely undershooting the valuation because they are driving profitability very fast and their revenue is growing closer to 40%-60% in growth markets right now. If they are able to keep up current growth figures and expand to double digit margins before the end of the decade then they could be worth 2x-3x this value (which is why valuing growth companies are so hard, because I can’t foresee the future). Again, I valued the emerging segment as worthless which is unlikely as well.
So, based on the value of $450m USD for the growth markets and the current value of $240 USD for the Nordic markets, that would create a sum of the parts equal to roughly $700m or nearly triple the current share price. This valuation leaves a ton of room for margin expansion and higher growth prospects because let’s face it, the US alone is probably worth at least 3x-5x more than the Nordic countries not including the UK, Germany, or Swiss. This is a very conservative valuation for the company, but it shows how great the risk/reward is based on the current price. Using a conservative valuation here also helps accommodate for regulation risk.
In SEK terms this would be 250 SEK/share or 7.35B SEK.
Conclusion
Even accommodating for regulation risk, a valuation of $700m seems appropriate as a starting point for the valuation for HAYPP Group. I think there is a very high likelihood that I could be off on this by a large margin, but I feel like the downside is very protected with this valuation. Management has been great in execution and I expect that to continue. In a more bullish case where every segment of the company fires on all cylinders we could see a valuation of $1.5B+, but that is not a scenario that I would like to bet my investors’ money on. For now, I will stay invested and keep watching them execute and adjust my valuation accordingly.
Disclaimer: The author of this idea and his Fund have a position in securities discussed at the time of posting and may trade in and out of this position without informing the reader.
Opinions expressed herein by the author are not an investment recommendation and are not meant to be relied upon in investment decisions. The author is not acting in an investment adviser capacity. This is not an investment research report. The author's opinions expressed herein address only select aspects of potential investment in securities of the companies mentioned and cannot be a substitute for comprehensive investment analysis. Any analysis presented herein is illustrative in nature, limited in scope, based on an incomplete set of information, and has limitations to its accuracy. The author recommends that potential and existing investors conduct thorough investment research of their own, including detailed review of the companies' SEC and CSA filings, and consult a qualified investment adviser. The information upon which this material is based was obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but has not been independently verified. Therefore, the author cannot guarantee its accuracy. Any opinions or estimates constitute the author's best judgment as of the date of publication and are subject to change without notice. The author and funds the author advises may buy or sell shares without any further notice. This article may contain certain opinions and “forward-looking statements,” which may be identified by the use of such words as “believe,” “expect,” “anticipate,” “should,” “planned,” “estimated,” “potential,” “outlook,” “forecast,” “plan” and other similar terms. All such opinions and forward-looking statements are conditional and are subject to various factors, including, without limitation, general and local economic conditions, changing levels of competition within certain industries and markets, changes in legislation or regulation, and other economic, competitive, governmental, regulatory and technological factors, any or all of which could cause actual results to differ materially from projected results.

Where to find the cheapest cigarettes around OP? Staying in Lawrence but working in OP for the next couple months. Im from Missouri where I'm used to paying $13 for 2 packs of Marlboros. Went to a place in Lawrence that reviews said had cheap cigarettes and they wanted to charge me over $9 per pack 😮. I was like hell no. Where's the best place to stock up? Tia

Rough draft chapter 1 hope you all enjoy
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Rough rubble cuts into Dusk’s nearly sole-less shoes. He’s accustomed to the feeling of the stone reaching for his thin, pale skin. Yet, he’s never going to get used to the suffering he and millions of others are forced to endure. Luckily enough though all laborers are allowed a “lenient” break of 45 minutes each day. But truthfully, it’s just the cheapest way the Directorate can make sure their workers don’t die of exhaustion. He drags his feet laden with their usual exhaustion to where he always goes for his break. Most other laborers use their break time to beg for more food rations or search for material they can ingest, only because they don’t see the futility in doing so. Dusk, on the other hand, walks up to the top of the quarry and looks at the sky.
When he was just a boy he had done the same thing, looking up to the unrelenting carpet of smog and ash, when a ray of sunlight thwarted the darkness and gazed at him from above with the self-criticalness of an artist disappointed with their own creation. The radiance only lasted mere seconds before the eye was shut. Naturally, he was beaten senselessly by the sentinels for being the focal point of such a spectacle. But even with the overcasting of pain he’s never forgotten the feeling of the sun on his skin.
Ever since that day a vine of hope sprouted in his soul. Hope that there may be a way to be freed of this oppressive life he was raised in familiarity. Never has it happened again though and the others say he’s insane for dreaming of a better life. Dusk says they’re insane for never giving it thought. Those arguments never go anywhere.
Dusk’s lavender eyes trace the sky, being sure not to miss a square inch as he does every day, as if a machine destined to do so until it rusts. So, the nefarious factories continue pumping grim parades of ash impeding his success. A sentinel approaches. “Get back to work.” The voice sounds organically feminine but as though it has been through a voice changer multiple times before reaching Dusk’s ears, and nothing else about the figure looks feminine in the slightest. He stands up immediately, not allowing her an excuse to hit him. She kicks him to the ground anyways, he isn’t nearly strong enough to contest her decision. “I said get back to work!” Her voice gives a rolling glitch as she heightens her tone. He scampers up and brushes himself off, being sure to keep his necklace hidden from her.
He turns down the path down to the quarry and gives a warry look over his shoulder at the sentinel making sure she didn’t decide to continue his punishment. She didn’t and was instead walking back to her post by a clearance only door. Sentinels were said to be humans too, which is the objective truth, but nothing that would willingly give their soul to a being like the Directorate has an ounce of humanity left within them. Their triangular armor is laced with material to fortify it against Mortalynth specifically. A belt fits all of them and holds their extra material for their own expenditure. And all of them are fitted with a rifle that uses material to offensify their abilities. A metallic helmet covers their heads with darkened one-way glass for the face.
Dusk turns from the sentinel and continues down the shoddy path. His stride varies as he tries to avoid sharper rocks purely for the sanctitude of his feet. Dusk trudges around 200 feet into the quarry and steps out onto the shelf his outfit was assigned to today. The Directorate doesn’t discriminate against those who are made to work. Except those that have proven to have significant physical capabilities. Those people are forcefully taken by The Directorate and used to make more who share their genes. I see the outfit I belong to digging at a mound with pickaxes. One of the two sentinels watching over them notices Dusk and motions him to stand by him at attention, he does.
“IL-YM4K you’re four minutes over procedural break time, what is your reasoning?” The sentinel asks with the glitchy gravelly voice a cigarette addicted robot would have. “I fell down and injured my leg on the way down, sir.” Dusk internally grimaced, as he does every time he has to refer to the sentinels as anything other than monsters. “You’re a horrible liar.” The sentinel says, and promptly punches Dusk in the liver. “Pick up a tool and begin working. Reduced portions for your incompetence.” If the sentinel could spit at Dusk while he keeled over in pain, he would.
Dusk coughs and sputters as he regains his balance after being struck, his hand clasping where he was hit. He stands as straight as he can lest he gets hit again and he gives the sentinel a weak salute with his free hand. “Pathetic.” The sentinel says as he shakes his head and turns away. Dusk walks to the pile of tools and picks up a pickaxe of surprisingly good quality considering they were used by servants of The Directorate. He takes it with both hands, his liver now in a semi livable state, and walks over to Rigby.
Rigby is the closest thing he has ever had to a family. Dusk’s parents had been taken and used to create a stronger gene pool. They were both killed after they attempted to join a rebellion movement. At least that’s what Dusk had been told, he never got to meet them himself. Dusk makes his steps audible as if to announce his presence to Rigby. Rigby looks up for a moment and gives him a look.
“Off dreaming again?” Rigby says moving his eyes back to the stone he was mining.
“You act like there’s anything else to do.” Dusk replied, beginning to mine his own stone.
“There is actually, it’s known as not being late.”
“How’d he even know I was lying? There's no way I’m that see through.”
“The sentinel footprint on your shirt might’ve helped him a little.” Rigby said with a slight smirk.
Dusk looked down at his shirt and gave a prolonged sigh. Just then snapping them out of their conversation Dusk’s stone burst open and a glowing purple gemstone was revealed. A thimble of it falls out of the split stone. Dusk quickly attempts to bend over to pick it up, but a sentinel intervenes “Back away from the material!” they yell. Rigby quickly shuffles and shoves Dusk out of the way, and Dusk loses the thimble in the dust kicked up. “It was mine! I found the deposit!” Rigby said with enthusiasm. “Get away from the material!” The sentinel draws his rifle and aims it at him, he quickly raises his hands and backs away from the material “Woah hey sorry, it’s all yours.” Rigby says. Dusk gives him a stabbing glare, but Rigby continues looking at the sentinel, which holsters his rifle again and steps by the material, its luminescence being reflected in his visor. *kshhhk* “Calling recall crew to L-3SE, medium-large material deposit.” *kshhhk*
The rest of the outfit gathers at a distance in awe, material is rare, extremely so. There's a set amount of material in the cosmos, more cannot be created, nor can it be destroyed, only released. The times the Directorate allows people to see the power of material is far and few and only when it is being used for destruction. The sentinel’s attention turns to Rigby “IH-8LEF you’re eligible for compensation. You will receive your options in a week’s time.” He says, “Both of you leave with the others back to your providence.” His head is still positioned towards the purple gems.
Dusk and Rigby move into the small crowd, and Rigby is given many looks a few that should have the ability to kill, multiple of which from Dusk. After a moment a shuttle pulls up and the outfit is ordered to enter. Dusk sits down and Rigby sits as immediately across from him as he can. The shuttle starts and they make their way out of the quarry with quite a few rough bumps and dips.
Rigby is staring directly into Dusk’s eyes; Dusk can feel it. But he isn’t going to give Rigby the gratification of looking back, he looks up instead. “Dusk!” a harsh whisper rasps, which is ignored “Dusk!” The voice attempts again. “Be quiet.” A sentinel says, they’re sitting at the front of the shuttle. Dusk lets his eyes fall to where Rigby was peering into his soul, is that… excitement? In his eyes? Rigby’s eyes quickly look down and back up to meet Dusk’s. His crotch? Dusk gives him a weird look, and Rigby rolls his eyes, and looks down while widening his eyes, then looking back expectantly at Dusk. Dusk follows his eyes to his extremely worn shoes and Rigby moves them ever so slightly and there, through torn leather shoes, in between two toes caked with dirt, sits a thimble of glowing purple gemstone.
(additional info)
My hope is to add a magic element, material is going to be the way which people use other divines, Mortalynth is one of them, uranium is another.
(divines)
divines are essentially gods, they created champions to represent them in the cosmos a war broke out blah blah blah, essentially each inhabitable world was once a champion of a divine imbued with their powers. What happened to earth was that aliens found it and wanted to inhabit it, but the divines of moralynth and uranium were enemies so the aliens woulda gotten evaporated if they tried to raw dog the atmosphere, so before humans existed they planted moralynth on the surface of earth in order to weaken the divine of uranium's power. and the aliens genetically modified people, promising to give them what they desire the most, which led to sentinels.
Ill prolly change the name of uranium and material to something else so it wont be confusing for readers. feel free to ask questions

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No judgement, please. Just wondering if there are any "hidden gem" stores that sell cigs cheaper around here. Used to be able to drive to OK but not worth it anymore since their prices went way up.

Hi everyone,
We want to dissolve our c-corp which was registered in Delaware. We tried our startup in November 2022 and want to dissolve it completely. Do we still have to pay our franchise taxes if we dissolve? What if we just left it alone? We have no income, no asset, no business transacted. We are students. Have no money to pay lot of fees. Please help and advise. How we can get it dissolved legally and cheapest way and try to have a way of not paying these taxes.

Hi everyone,
We want to dissolve our c-corp which was registered in Delaware. We tried our startup in November 2022 and want to dissolve it completely. Do we still have to pay our franchise taxes if we dissolve? What if we just left it alone? We have no income, no asset, no business transacted. We are students. Have no money to pay lot of fees. Please help and advise. How we can get it dissolved legally and cheapest way and try to have a way of not paying these taxes.

Hi everyone,
We want to dissolve our c-corp which was registered in Delaware. We tried our startup in November 2022 and want to dissolve it completely. Do we still have to pay our franchise taxes if we dissolve? What if we just left it alone? We have no income, no asset, no business transacted. We are students. Have no money to pay lot of fees. Please help and advise. How we can get it dissolved legally and cheapest way and try to have a way of not paying these taxes.

I don't care about the brand. I always buy the cheapest slim cigarettes there are (20 in a pack obviously). In Poland I pay 3,60€ for a pack and I wonder if I should stock up here in case ciggs in Greece are noticably more expensive

It's been 4 days since I've vaped nicotine (Gunpod Cola 6000, stupid level of nicotine disposable), I switched to a nicotine free self refil and chargable(which is now leaking and I want to return it tomorrow but I don't want to get angry at the store owner) it replaces the behaviour when it at work but it does nothing, and it doing nothing makes me more stress at work.
I'm glad I'm not working in a stressful environment, I recently changed jobs and thought this would be the time.
My wife doesn't understand how hard it is, after all she quit smoking 10 years ago(smokeda pack of 2 mg over a month), I chain smoked back when I was smoking cigarettes, highest strength hand rolled black tobacco, brand white ox(it stunk).
Withdrawals are pretty hard, I went to sleep early yesterday and slept in late cause it was easier than doing anything.
Work was the hardest thing today, got through it but I was thinking just leave the rest of the staff pack up and piss off early and buy cigarettes.
I stayed till close.
I still bought cigarettes on my way home but I got the cheapest weakest ones, I had one straight away, and, nothing not even a head spin after 4 days.
I bought nicotine patches and I probably won't ask for a refund on the leaking non-nicotine vape, or rather throw it in the bin and be done with it.
I also live in Australia where quality cigarettes like Marlborough 25 pack are $50 USD or more and a vape that lasts 3 times as long cost $12 USD.
I just had another cigarette and am about to cook dinner while my wife already made hers(I think she gets it today), and I'm going to try the patches tomorrow and leave the cigarettes at home.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND:
-I was a chain smoker and turned Into a chain vaper thanks to my drinking habits.
-I'm cutting down on drinking beer, just one long neck a day, from 12 stubbies.
-I'm a butcher, so all day is very physical and I use lots of very sharp equipment, like a bandsaw, that requires your full attention.
By the end of my day I'm killing to sit down but I would normally grab a longneck and chain vape hope, and drink and hain vape most of the night.
This is the 4th day but I don't think I'll cave, who's been in this sort of situation?

“Get the fuck out of my house with this ‘ old country’ shit Sylvia, I’m serious. “ I hear my dad say from the kitchen downstairs.
“I give children and idiots three warnings. That’s your first. “ It takes me a second to recognize my aunt’s voice. I’ve only met her a handful of times, and it’s nearly 2am.
“Syl, he’s right, this is crazy. I’m Roma, I’m proud, but your part of the family, and mine are two separate things. “ My mom interjects. Her voice is calm and level.
I woke up about half way through whatever is going on, and I’m fuzzy on the details, but everyone involved is three kinds of pissed.
“So you say, but just because you ignore the other side, doesn’t mean the other side ignores you. “ Aunt Syl replies, I could never quite place her accent, but it makes her statement all the more sinister.
“Might as well make that the family motto.
Syl, there are a couple dozen other kids Nikolas’ age in the family. Half of which are already hip deep in whatever is going on nowadays, you don’t need him. “ Mom isn’t pleading, but I can hear she’s worried.
“Why are we trying to reason with your crazy aunt? Time to go Syl. “ My dad isn’t worried, he’s angry.
“That’s two. “ Aunt Sylvia replies.
I hear a chair squeak then fall to the floor.
“That’s three. “ Sylvia says, her voice is cold, and I swear I could almost hear an echo.
I can hear my dad start to quietly cough, he sounds like he’s trying to talk but can’t. My heart starts to race, I don’t understand what’s going on, but I know it’s bad.
“Syl! Jesus Christ, that’s my husband. “ Mom sounds more offended than scared now. I wish I could say the same.
I stand next to my cracked door, fear beginning to take hold.
I can hear my dad start to take long wheezing breaths, I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing.
“Happy?
Now that any hope of doing this quietly is over, Nikolas and I have a long drive ahead of us. He’s 16, he has a license, yes? “ I hear Sylvia say, sudden footsteps walking up the stairs.
“No, he’s not interested in driving. You can’t take him Syl. “ my mom sounds frantic, Sylvia’s steps are measured and heavy.
“Not interested? You sure we are related? You raise soft children. “ Sylvia ends this with a dismissive laugh.
The few minutes that followed were kind of a blur, with my mom trying to convince me that I was just going to visit family, as if I didn’t just hear everything.
It's a couple hours into a long drive in a small car when my brain finally catches up to the fact that I’m awake, and going 30 miles an hour over the speed limit.
Aunt Syl sits in the driver’s seat, she’s 40 something, olive skinned with pitch-colored hair. Her style, it’s, something.
Her outfit was the middle of a Venn diagram of hippie, punk rock and carpenter. Bracelets, flannel, paisley, and enough piercings I lost count.
“Any chance of putting both hands on the wheel? “ I say, I’m mad, but I don’t even really know why.
She holds up her left arm, and I’m shocked. It’s an ancient looking blued steel prosthetic. She flexes, the clawed, almost mitten-like hand.
“Go through too many steering wheels that way. “ She says with a smirk.
“What’s going on? “ I ask, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of silence.
“You’re a big boy, so if you want the truth, I’ll give it to you. There’s a job that needs to be done, a dangerous job. And I want you to do it.
Now, I want you, not because you’re strong, or smart, or special. We have many strong, smart, special boys.
You, I want, because you’re unknown, and, little one, disposable. “ Sylvia lets this comment hang like rotten fruit.
The next hour goes in silence, at no point do I even entertain the notion this is some kind of joke. Something about this woman’s energy, about the way she carries herself, it scares the shit out of me.
We board a plane, somehow she had all of my travel documents. Even stranger is that we get escorted past the security checkpoints, into first class.
The next words I say to Sylvia are, “You have to put that out! “ as she lights up a short, yellow, hand-rolled cigarette.
She grins, taking a long drag, it smells horrible, the cheapest roughest tobacco odor I’ve encountered.
She relaxes, a cloud of thick, grey smoke forming.
I’m stunned, not a single person says anything. At first I think maybe she’s some kind of, I don’t know, mobster or something.
But that isn’t quite right. No one is looking at her in fear, no one is telling anyone else not to say anything. It’s like no one notices what she’s doing.
“How does she do this? The little boy wonders.
I don’t come offering you a thankless task Nik. I come with an opportunity. “ Sylvia says before crushing the cigarette on the arm of a chair and tossing it into the isle.
I had questions, and between the fear and the confusion I asked every one of them.
The only response she gave me was, “You’ll see when we get there. “.
She was right.
The flight lands, and after an hour or so of driving the world’s oldest pickup through the English countryside, we wind up at an old farm house, in the middle of nowhere outside of Hammersmith.
The sign outside says “ Gritt Auctions” the letters are old, bronze and tarnished, the grounds are littered with car parts, statues, and errata of every type.
Dozens, maybe even a hundred people mill about each stopping for a moment to give a suspicious look at the interloper in their midst.
Sylvia seems amused at my nervousness. I try and give the rough looking folks around me as much space as I can.
“They’re family, mostly, by blood or marriage, with a handful of lost souls and hangers on. “ She explains.
I probably should have guessed, seeing my mom’s family name on the sign, but my brain is basically nothing more than fear, anxiety and jet lag at this point.
“When do I get to know what’s going on? “ I say, waving at a cousin of some form and receive a uniquely English rude gesture in return.
My ear is ringing, and I stumble , the left side of my face burning. I’d say Syl slapped me, but it was more of a polite punch.
“Don’t whine. You’ve been stolen from your mother, treated like a dog, and judging by Robert’s attitude, rejected by your family.
I don’t want to hear whining, you angry, soft boy? “ Sylvia stops and turns toward me. I notice the people around us stop their tasks, interested in our conversation.
“No… “ I begin, not wanting to piss her off.
I don’t even see the next slap, but it puts me on my ass.
“Next one’s with the left hand.
Are you angry Nikolas? “ Sylvia looms over me like a raven.
I feel something before I get to my feet, a hot, quick flash of hatred. A context free rage at the fucked up situation I’m in.
“Answer is still no. Because to be angry, I’d have to know a God-Damned thing about what’s going on.
But my lunatic aunt just picked me up and now I’m standing in the middle of whatever the English equivalent to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family is.
For all I know, I’m your new King. So no, I’m not angry, I’m annoyed, and maybe a bit worried my gene pool really needs some chlorine. “ I’m shocked at what I’m saying, but I see some smiles, hear a few laughs.
Sylvia’s face seems to soften slightly.
“There’s the Gritt in you. “ She says, starting to walk to an old barn.
I catch up to her as I attempt in vain to dust myself off.
Sylvia opens a small, strangely modern looking door, inside a row of lights automatically flip on.
In contrast to the rotten wood exterior, the inside of the barn looks modern, design wise it’s half way between a hospital and a car repair shop. Equipment of unknown purpose, gurneys and cages of all sizes and types surround me.
Sylvia walks to a door at the back, then pauses.
“Before I open this door, you need to understand something.
There is no fortune telling, or reading of cards here. The cloak of the traveller, the bangles of the gypsy, these are all ways of navigating the world to us. Ways to exist on the fringes of society.
The Gritt family, we trade in the unknown. We find, we collect, and we sell. And ours is no petty collection of trinkets and tools not meant for the hands of man.
Our grift, is livestock. “
The woman opens the door, and what I see, sitting, chained in one corner of the industrial cement walled cell shakes everything I thought I knew about reality.
He's six and a half feet tall, his skin a waxy yellow, and every spare inch is festooned with black stitching, rusted pieces of metal or small splinters of bone.
His face is noseless and asymmetrical, almost as if repaired or modified over and over. One eye is a small, sinister looking orb with a red pupil, the other a massive, almost reptilian thing, wildly twitching about.
He wears no shirt, but a long, grey hide Trenchcoat hangs down to his knees. I start to shake as I see it’s made from layers of stitched human skin.
He sneers at us, long, conical teeth catch the harsh halogen light.
The thing strains against the chains, but they bind him tightly enough to the wall he can barely move.
“You’re not lasting more than 4 seconds kid. Just turn the fuck around. I’ll have you slitting your wrists in the corner by nightfall. “ The thing says, it’s voice is foul, almost a physical force. Grating, rage filled, and with a lunatic edge to it that makes me question exactly how much those chains can take.
“ 3/10, Augustus, who do you think you are scaring with that limp dick of a threat? “ Sylvia says, confidently walking up to the creature.
It snaps it’s jaws with a sound like a rifle shot. No where near Sylvia, but enough to make me jump on the other side of the room.
“If I could stop being threatened and hearing my aunt talk about dicks, I’d be a huge fan. “ I say, something deep within me, pushing past the fear and lack of sleep, “And if anything feels like just telling me what’s going on instead of being vague and creepy, even better. “
The chained thing looks to me, curious. Sylvia smirks.
“Augustus is going to be forced to fight others like him until eventually he gets what’s coming to him for years of evil.
You, are going to stand next to him while he does it. “ Sylvia begins to walk away from the thing, ignoring vile threats of both the violent and carnal variety.
I try to follow her out the door and she blocks me.
“If your still sane and alive in the morning, I was right. Good luck soft boy. “ She says before closing the heavy metal door.
Without her, I feel tiny, that spark of rage is snuffed out and replaced with a cold sense of dread.
“You’re going to have to turn around sometime kid. “ The chained creature says.
I turn, slowly, resolving to make eye contact with the thing. I manage a second or two before looking away, the creature cackles, mocking me.
“Holy shit, they sent me an honest to God pussy. Whole family full of void fucked apes and they send me you?
The best part is, you don’t even get it. I can see what you’re thinking kid, I can see that tiny collection of hormones and goo you vainly call a brain going into overdrive trying to figure this out… “ Augustus starts.
The creature kept going, I don’t have an exact count but it was at least twelve hours.
I can only describe it as a verbal assault. Augustus drew from some dark wells, how it knew half of the things it did scared me as much as it’s clawed hands or, piranha-like teeth.
I lost something that night. The fears that thing drug up, the insecurities it played on, the secrets it knew, it crushed any childlike notions of safety or understanding the world I had.
Don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t mean it toughened me up. It broke any sense of confidence I had, took away any feeling of safety. That God Damned thing in the trenchcoat, changed me.
I’ve lost track of how long it’s been since I’ve slept, but I’m brought a tin plate heaped with eggs, sausage and for some twisted reason, brown beans. And realize it’s been at least a day since I’ve eaten.
I sit around an abused, graffiti carved picnic table with an eclectic combination of family I’ve never met. Syl sips a tea I can smell from ten feet away and looks at me like I’m a used car.
“I’m always right soft boy. Remember that. “ She says.
It takes a half dozen guys built like construction workers, with Sylvia following behind whispering things that wilt vegetation, to wrangle the creature into the back of an old, reinforced horse trailer.
The inside is covered in totems, runes, and other spooky looking errata. The entity becomes sluggish and disoriented as the heavy wooden doors close, and get sealed with a massive brass lock.
My mind begins to wander on the three hour trip through the back country of the UK. The sun sets, and my brain screams for sleep. That scream is silenced by the sense of mounting dread as we get closer to our destination.
We pull up to an abandoned theme restaurant, the parking lot is full, the windows are boarded, and the walls covered in graffiti. The place is huge, more the size of a small stadium than a diner.
The parking lot is full, the sputtering, sparking neon sign flashes “Faron’s Funhouse. “
It’s a few minutes outside of a town I forgot to catch the name of. We can see lights on the horizon, but there’s a feeling of wrong surrounding the building that makes them seem a million miles away.
A half dozen ‘cousins’ of mine move Augustus into a strange, almost coffin-like box made of wood, steel and glass, covered in trinkets and symbols. The thing sneers groggily from within, it’s mismatched eyes rolling in it’s skull.
I don’t hear Sylvia approach, I notice her as she smacks me in the back of the head hard enough to make my ears ring. The old, cruel woman is walking toward the doors of this meeting place.
“Eyes forward, sneer on your face, and walk like you know where you’re going. “ Are her only instructions.
For once, they’re clear and simple. What I see inside easily keeps my attention, and I’m equal parts scared and pissed off, so looking edgy and miserable is my default state.
At one point, this place was exactly what you’d think. I know you’re all expecting it to be a run down, rat infested haunted house now, but it was, stranger than that.
The place was well kept on the inside, but everything was either in use or repurposed to house the couple hundred eclectic customers milling around. In the centre, is a massive Lucite Cube, crystal clear and housing a ball pit, jungle gym and what looks to be a functional canteen, complete with a deep fryer and popcorn machine. It’s a couple hundred meters a side, and shaped like a flawed rectangle.
Smoke hangs in the air, my aunt greets old friends in a handful of different languages, I smile and nod, still trying to understand what the hell this place is.
We see Augustus being wheeled to the Lucite box, Sylvia cuts a laughing Cyrillic conversation short, and her and I make our way to the box that barely restrains the hatred and death inside.
At the other end of the Lucite Cube I see a few people dressed in blue and maroon uniforms ( if I were to guess vintage, from when this place served shitty food instead of violence.), they surround a massive, hulking, lanky thing. It’s obscured by smoke, and poor lighting, but it’s nine foot frame, and unnatural gait are clear.
The box holding Augustus sits about ten feet away from me, inside the massive cage. The front opens, my instinct is to step backward, get as much distance between me and the thing inside as possible, but instead, I’m shoved, before I can catch my balance, a workbook clad foot is in front of me.
I fall and stumble into the cage, I turn around to try and get out as fast as I can, I’m standing inches away from the creature, but I see Sylvia closing the clear, impermeable door.
It hits me then. For the first time since this ordeal started, I realize how grim things are.
Just like everyone else here, I’ve been raised on spooky shit packaged to be marketable. Little monsters, The Adams Family, Harry potter, hell let’s throw Pokemon and the like in there as it’s basically just dog fighting with a cute hat on.
And I thought what was happening to me, was somewhere on the Venn diagram of those things.
But as I see the impassive look on the face of a woman I’ve known since I was a child, ( at a distance or no.) as I’m locked in here with God knows what, I get it. I really get it.
His laughter is like an ice pick, I turn to face him, Augustus brushes himself off, casually looking around the massive arena.
“Just hit ya didn’t it, bud? “ He says, walking over to me, his steps impossibly quick, almost insect-like, “You’re not my trainer, or my wrangler, you certainly aren’t my fucking partner. “, the entity grabs my chin between two clawed fingers, “ You’re a bait dog. Something for me and that new blooded walking pun to fight over. “
My blood runs down his thumb, his grin cracks his face like a rotten melon, the monster pulls down, throwing me to the floor.
A buzzer sounds, and a three minute timer, projected in transparent red appears on the walls of the Lucite arena.
“If I’ve got to hunt you down in this shit-hole, things are going to be a lot worse for you. Stay put, bud. “ The trenchcoat clad thing says, casually walking toward the creature on the opposite side of the arena.
Closer now, I see it clearly. Inside of a pristine uniform, is a twisted attempt at the human form. The torso is lumpen, asymmetrical, but lean. It's arms nearly drag on the floor, yellow, infected looking flesh, weeping pus like a snail’s foot.
It's eyes are black caves, with just the hint of something deep within. It’s face is blank, a torn, haggard looking grey tongue runs over rotting green teeth.
The kid beside it looks around my age, he’s big though, just as confused and afraid as I am. He wears a similar uniform to the creature, but his looks, abused, torn, blood stained. Like it's been handed down from one unlucky owner to the next.
As the buzzer rings, the lanky, disgusting creature moves in a flash, tearing off the kid’s right arm and beginning to chew it.
The blood didn’t set me off, as terrible as it was. It was the three seconds between the act, and the poor kid realizing what happened that pushed me over the edge.
He started to scream, a horrible trapped animal kind of noise. He backs away from the monster beside him, gripping the crushed and torn remains of his forearm.
Augustus laughs, his trenchcoat drags on the floor, leaving a streak of blood as he walks.
“Man after my own heart.
So, I say, we split these sides of beef for two minutes then talk shop for a bit. Fuck these pretentious apes and their show. “ Augustus looks up to the massive thing. It remains impassive, gnawing on the hand.
“Don’t be like that. We both know two halves are better than one whole . Win-win for both of us“ Augustus gets a noise that sounds like an angry sewer pipe, and a dismissive wave of a long snake-like arm in response.
The thing in the trenchcoat shrugs, turning around and stalking toward me.
“You have no luck at all kid, I was going to let you go last.
But the pinworm back there wants to be a dick about things, so looks like things are getting started early. “ Augustus grins, his mouth opening shark like.
I stare down certain death, Augustus radiating fear, seeming to become more demonic with each step toward me.
From behind him, a noise.
I would have just assumed it was some part of the worm-like, filth ridden thing eating. Augustus clears up that misconception.
He turns, shaking, body language that of a wild animal.
“Was that a fucking snicker? A giggle? Are you fucking laughing at me, you literal fucking worm. “ He’s panting, hands twitching like dying insects.
He stands, inches from the other creature, dwarfed by it, teeth grinding, muscles straining.
The worm thing casually tosses the flesh bare hand toward Augustus. As it touches his coat, the arena erupts into a kind of wild, senseless, limitless violence.
It doesn’t feel like watching a fight, it’s more like a car wreck, or natural disaster. Pieces of jungle gym turn into lethal shrapnel as the blurred, filth spewing scrum destroys them.
I see the timer, 2:15. My mind starts to catch up, and I see the other kid, pale, whimpering, and trying in vain to staunch the blood spurting from his arm.
I’m running, low and likely poorly, pulling my belt from my pants, and thanking myself for actually listening when I was forced to take a first aid course for a summer job last year.
The kid is scared, he tries pushing me away, but I’m determined, and not down a couple pints of blood. I pull the belt with two hands, pull it through again and twist, it’s ugly, it’s not perfect, but the flow of blood begins to slow, then stop.
We crawl behind a prize counter, decades old candy and stuffed animals surround us as we cower. A liquid filled roar loud enough to crack the cheap glass cases fills the room.
The kid is looking rough, blood still trickling from the torn stump of his forearm. I see some plastic bags and get an idea.
I lean over to get them, and feel something strange, at first I think I pulled a muscle.
Then there is a deep, burning pain, instinctively I pull away, and turn around.
The kid is on his knees, sanity has left his eyes, a cheap hunting knife in his remaining hand he has a look of panic and determination on his face.
“We have to win. “ he says, lunging at me with the blade.
He’s slow, and I avoid it, but not by as much as I’d like. Blood runs down my back, for a moment I wonder how bad I’m hurt, but it doesn’t really matter right now.
I retreat, but the only thing keeping us from being torn apart by the whirlwind of shrapnel caused by the creatures is the counter, I can’t escape.
It's a stalemate, I’m no athlete, and the kid is built like a rugby player, but he’s missing a hand, and delirious from blood loss. I plead, I try and reason, and I dodge crazed strikes by increasingly narrow margins.
Something large, either thrown or knocked loose destroys the counter behind me. Suddenly all is chaos. I’m thrown into the kid in the uniform, plaster dust surrounds us in a grey cloud.
By the time the air clears the kid is on top of me. I have his wrist in one hand, keeping the split tip of the blade inches from my face.
The angle is too awkward, I can’t get any leverage. It’s not a stalemate, it’s a war of attrition that I’m losing.
I catch a glimpse of the two creatures. The worm thing is striking at Augustus, who stands still, limbs moving in arcing blurs deflecting the blows and tearing off chunks of foul, tainted flesh.
The tip of the knife begins to dig into my cheek. A drop of blood hits my eye.
I grab the makeshift tourniquet with a free hand and roughly yank forward. The kid on top of me screams, bloods begins to pour. Torn flesh and a gore soaked belt hit the ground.
For a moment the weight on me eases up, and I push the knife forward. But the kid, he’s too stupid or far gone to just back off. As I feel is strength start to fade, he presses himself harder.
I expect him to back off as I begin to drive the roughly sharpened back edge of the knife into his neck. But he doubles down, leaning forward, trying to press the knife toward me.
For a moment, every other fucked up thing going on around me doesn’t matter. The world is small, silent, and consists of nothing more than the image of the knife ripping away a fist sized strip from the kids neck.
He backs off when he realizes the extent of the damage. Staring at me shocked, as if just not realizing the consequences of his actions.
He dies slowly, poorly, and within inches of me. I feel no victory, no sense of being a winner, just a dark pit in the back of my mind. The loss of something that comes with taking someone’s life.
I stand, shell shocked, staring at the corpse. My safety the last thing on my mind.
The worm thing is hurt, and attempts to dive into the ball pit, but somehow, defying physics, Augustus grabs it, holding the half ton monster out with one hand.
He arcs the thing, slamming it into the floor behind him, the spray of gore and viscera rivals pyrotechnics, the force leaves a blood filled crater in the floor.
Without missing a beat Augustus starts to walk toward me, making a token effort of flicking pieces of bone and organ from himself.
I’m frozen, I know nothing I can do could stop whatever he has planned.
The creature picks up a jagged piece of lumber, and looks at the clock, “We’ve got 45 seconds of fun left kid. “ he says with a sneer.
But as he passes the counter, and sees the corpse the look of imminent violence turns into amusement.
“How’s it feel to be a child killer, bud? “, Augustus laughs, “Not that I can’t tell from the look on your face.
Fuck me, that knocked some gears loose didn’t it? “
The thing walks forward, looking me over like a collectable.
“I can’t let that go to waste, now can I? “ he slaps me lightly, “It’s going to be a fucking blast watching you break down kid, wonder what drives you nuts first, this kid being in your dreams, or the fact that, at some point I’m going to get bored and start giving you all the pain you feel you deserve? “
Of course, I made it out alive. It’d be kind of hard to have posted this if I didn’t.
But now, I sit in a dingy room in a farm house half way across the world from home. Surrounded by family and monsters, all of which seem out to get me. Being forced to risk my life in some kind of blood sport.
Maybe I’ll be back, maybe I’ll be dead by the next time I get a chance to post anything. If anyone has any help, please, post it in the comments. I’m in a dark place here and no one else seems to be on my side.
I decided to update everyone
https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/ypogh9ZYrZ

I just had our showetub combo done over by bathfitter, initially we had some issues. The guy that installed it before was just rude, smelled like cigarettes, and scratched up the surface of our new installation somehow, as well as did a TERRIBLE job sealing it. I didn't notice until 5 days later once everything was fully cured and ready to be cleaned just how shoddy the job was. It looked great from afar, but up close there were gaps in the seams, and scratches everywhere. They immediately sent the supervisor and branch manager to take a look, and the following day sent someone else over to fix and replace. It turned out real nice! I just had the glass door installed today, and overall I am pleased with how it all looks together. It was the cheapest option for redoing the bathroom, the plumbing was good and all but the tub and the tiling done before was awful so we needed to come up with a solution, in total it was $5.4k. it's for daily kid use as it's the kid's bathroom, and I'm just wondering now how it will hold up over the years.

“Get the fuck out of my house with this ‘ old country’ shit Sylvia, I’m serious. “ I hear my dad say from the kitchen downstairs.
“I give children and idiots three warnings. That’s your first. “ It takes me a second to recognize my aunt’s voice. I’ve only met her a handful of times, and it’s nearly 2am.
“Syl, he’s right, this is crazy. I’m Roma, I’m proud, but your part of the family, and mine are two separate things. “ My mom interjects. Her voice is calm and level.
I woke up about half way through whatever is going on, and I’m fuzzy on the details, but everyone involved is three kinds of pissed.
“So you say, but just because you ignore the other side, doesn’t mean the other side ignores you. “ Aunt Syl replies, I could never quite place her accent, but it makes her statement all the more sinister.
“Might as well make that the family motto.
Syl, there are a couple dozen other kids Nikolas’ age in the family. Half of which are already hip deep in whatever is going on nowadays, you don’t need him. “ Mom isn’t pleading, but I can hear she’s worried.
“Why are we trying to reason with your crazy aunt? Time to go Syl. “ My dad isn’t worried, he’s angry.
“That’s two. “ Aunt Sylvia replies.
I hear a chair squeak then fall to the floor.
“That’s three. “ Sylvia says, her voice is cold, and I swear I could almost hear an echo.
I can hear my dad start to quietly cough, he sounds like he’s trying to talk but can’t. My heart starts to race, I don’t understand what’s going on, but I know it’s bad.
“Syl! Jesus Christ, that’s my husband. “ Mom sounds more offended than scared now. I wish I could say the same.
I stand next to my cracked door, fear beginning to take hold.
I can hear my dad start to take long wheezing breaths, I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing.
“Happy?
Now that any hope of doing this quietly is over, Nikolas and I have a long drive ahead of us. He’s 16, he has a license, yes? “ I hear Sylvia say, sudden footsteps walking up the stairs.
“No, he’s not interested in driving. You can’t take him Syl. “ my mom sounds frantic, Sylvia’s steps are measured and heavy.
“Not interested? You sure we are related? You raise soft children. “ Sylvia ends this with a dismissive laugh.
The few minutes that followed were kind of a blur, with my mom trying to convince me that I was just going to visit family, as if I didn’t just hear everything.
It's a couple hours into a long drive in a small car when my brain finally catches up to the fact that I’m awake, and going 30 miles an hour over the speed limit.
Aunt Syl sits in the driver’s seat, she’s 40 something, olive skinned with pitch-colored hair. Her style, it’s, something.
Her outfit was the middle of a Venn diagram of hippie, punk rock and carpenter. Bracelets, flannel, paisley, and enough piercings I lost count.
“Any chance of putting both hands on the wheel? “ I say, I’m mad, but I don’t even really know why.
She holds up her left arm, and I’m shocked. It’s an ancient looking blued steel prosthetic. She flexes, the clawed, almost mitten-like hand.
“Go through too many steering wheels that way. “ She says with a smirk.
“What’s going on? “ I ask, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of silence.
“You’re a big boy, so if you want the truth, I’ll give it to you. There’s a job that needs to be done, a dangerous job. And I want you to do it.
Now, I want you, not because you’re strong, or smart, or special. We have many strong, smart, special boys.
You, I want, because you’re unknown, and, little one, disposable. “ Sylvia lets this comment hang like rotten fruit.
The next hour goes in silence, at no point do I even entertain the notion this is some kind of joke. Something about this woman’s energy, about the way she carries herself, it scares the shit out of me.
We board a plane, somehow she had all of my travel documents. Even stranger is that we get escorted past the security checkpoints, into first class.
The next words I say to Sylvia are, “You have to put that out! “ as she lights up a short, yellow, hand-rolled cigarette.
She grins, taking a long drag, it smells horrible, the cheapest roughest tobacco odor I’ve encountered.
She relaxes, a cloud of thick, grey smoke forming.
I’m stunned, not a single person says anything. At first I think maybe she’s some kind of, I don’t know, mobster or something.
But that isn’t quite right. No one is looking at her in fear, no one is telling anyone else not to say anything. It’s like no one notices what she’s doing.
“How does she do this? The little boy wonders.
I don’t come offering you a thankless task Nik. I come with an opportunity. “ Sylvia says before crushing the cigarette on the arm of a chair and tossing it into the isle.
I had questions, and between the fear and the confusion I asked every one of them.
The only response she gave me was, “You’ll see when we get there. “.
She was right.
The flight lands, and after an hour or so of driving the world’s oldest pickup through the English countryside, we wind up at an old farm house, in the middle of nowhere outside of Hammersmith.
The sign outside says “ Gritt Auctions” the letters are old, bronze and tarnished, the grounds are littered with car parts, statues, and errata of every type.
Dozens, maybe even a hundred people mill about each stopping for a moment to give a suspicious look at the interloper in their midst.
Sylvia seems amused at my nervousness. I try and give the rough looking folks around me as much space as I can.
“They’re family, mostly, by blood or marriage, with a handful of lost souls and hangers on. “ She explains.
I probably should have guessed, seeing my mom’s family name on the sign, but my brain is basically nothing more than fear, anxiety and jet lag at this point.
“When do I get to know what’s going on? “ I say, waving at a cousin of some form and receive a uniquely English rude gesture in return.
My ear is ringing, and I stumble , the left side of my face burning. I’d say Syl slapped me, but it was more of a polite punch.
“Don’t whine. You’ve been stolen from your mother, treated like a dog, and judging by Robert’s attitude, rejected by your family.
I don’t want to hear whining, you angry, soft boy? “ Sylvia stops and turns toward me. I notice the people around us stop their tasks, interested in our conversation.
“No… “ I begin, not wanting to piss her off.
I don’t even see the next slap, but it puts me on my ass.
“Next one’s with the left hand.
Are you angry Nikolas? “ Sylvia looms over me like a raven.
I feel something before I get to my feet, a hot, quick flash of hatred. A context free rage at the fucked up situation I’m in.
“Answer is still no. Because to be angry, I’d have to know a God-Damned thing about what’s going on.
But my lunatic aunt just picked me up and now I’m standing in the middle of whatever the English equivalent to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family is.
For all I know, I’m your new King. So no, I’m not angry, I’m annoyed, and maybe a bit worried my gene pool really needs some chlorine. “ I’m shocked at what I’m saying, but I see some smiles, hear a few laughs.
Sylvia’s face seems to soften slightly.
“There’s the Gritt in you. “ She says, starting to walk to an old barn.
I catch up to her as I attempt in vain to dust myself off.
Sylvia opens a small, strangely modern looking door, inside a row of lights automatically flip on.
In contrast to the rotten wood exterior, the inside of the barn looks modern, design wise it’s half way between a hospital and a car repair shop. Equipment of unknown purpose, gurneys and cages of all sizes and types surround me.
Sylvia walks to a door at the back, then pauses.
“Before I open this door, you need to understand something.
There is no fortune telling, or reading of cards here. The cloak of the traveller, the bangles of the gypsy, these are all ways of navigating the world to us. Ways to exist on the fringes of society.
The Gritt family, we trade in the unknown. We find, we collect, and we sell. And ours is no petty collection of trinkets and tools not meant for the hands of man.
Our grift, is livestock. “
The woman opens the door, and what I see, sitting, chained in one corner of the industrial cement walled cell shakes everything I thought I knew about reality.
He's six and a half feet tall, his skin a waxy yellow, and every spare inch is festooned with black stitching, rusted pieces of metal or small splinters of bone.
His face is noseless and asymmetrical, almost as if repaired or modified over and over. One eye is a small, sinister looking orb with a red pupil, the other a massive, almost reptilian thing, wildly twitching about.
He wears no shirt, but a long, grey hide Trenchcoat hangs down to his knees. I start to shake as I see it’s made from layers of stitched human skin.
He sneers at us, long, conical teeth catch the harsh halogen light.
The thing strains against the chains, but they bind him tightly enough to the wall he can barely move.
“You’re not lasting more than 4 seconds kid. Just turn the fuck around. I’ll have you slitting your wrists in the corner by nightfall. “ The thing says, it’s voice is foul, almost a physical force. Grating, rage filled, and with a lunatic edge to it that makes me question exactly how much those chains can take.
“ 3/10, Augustus, who do you think you are scaring with that limp dick of a threat? “ Sylvia says, confidently walking up to the creature.
It snaps it’s jaws with a sound like a rifle shot. No where near Sylvia, but enough to make me jump on the other side of the room.
“If I could stop being threatened and hearing my aunt talk about dicks, I’d be a huge fan. “ I say, something deep within me, pushing past the fear and lack of sleep, “And if anything feels like just telling me what’s going on instead of being vague and creepy, even better. “
The chained thing looks to me, curious. Sylvia smirks.
“Augustus is going to be forced to fight others like him until eventually he gets what’s coming to him for years of evil.
You, are going to stand next to him while he does it. “ Sylvia begins to walk away from the thing, ignoring vile threats of both the violent and carnal variety.
I try to follow her out the door and she blocks me.
“If your still sane and alive in the morning, I was right. Good luck soft boy. “ She says before closing the heavy metal door.
Without her, I feel tiny, that spark of rage is snuffed out and replaced with a cold sense of dread.
“You’re going to have to turn around sometime kid. “ The chained creature says.
I turn, slowly, resolving to make eye contact with the thing. I manage a second or two before looking away, the creature cackles, mocking me.
“Holy shit, they sent me an honest to God pussy. Whole family full of void fucked apes and they send me you?
The best part is, you don’t even get it. I can see what you’re thinking kid, I can see that tiny collection of hormones and goo you vainly call a brain going into overdrive trying to figure this out… “ Augustus starts.
The creature kept going, I don’t have an exact count but it was at least twelve hours.
I can only describe it as a verbal assault. Augustus drew from some dark wells, how it knew half of the things it did scared me as much as it’s clawed hands or, piranha-like teeth.
I lost something that night. The fears that thing drug up, the insecurities it played on, the secrets it knew, it crushed any childlike notions of safety or understanding the world I had.
Don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t mean it toughened me up. It broke any sense of confidence I had, took away any feeling of safety. That God Damned thing in the trenchcoat, changed me.
I’ve lost track of how long it’s been since I’ve slept, but I’m brought a tin plate heaped with eggs, sausage and for some twisted reason, brown beans. And realize it’s been at least a day since I’ve eaten.
I sit around an abused, graffiti carved picnic table with an eclectic combination of family I’ve never met. Syl sips a tea I can smell from ten feet away and looks at me like I’m a used car.
“I’m always right soft boy. Remember that. “ She says.
It takes a half dozen guys built like construction workers, with Sylvia following behind whispering things that wilt vegetation, to wrangle the creature into the back of an old, reinforced horse trailer.
The inside is covered in totems, runes, and other spooky looking errata. The entity becomes sluggish and disoriented as the heavy wooden doors close, and get sealed with a massive brass lock.
My mind begins to wander on the three hour trip through the back country of the UK. The sun sets, and my brain screams for sleep. That scream is silenced by the sense of mounting dread as we get closer to our destination.
We pull up to an abandoned theme restaurant, the parking lot is full, the windows are boarded, and the walls covered in graffiti. The place is huge, more the size of a small stadium than a diner.
The parking lot is full, the sputtering, sparking neon sign flashes “Faron’s Funhouse. “
It’s a few minutes outside of a town I forgot to catch the name of. We can see lights on the horizon, but there’s a feeling of wrong surrounding the building that makes them seem a million miles away.
A half dozen ‘cousins’ of mine move Augustus into a strange, almost coffin-like box made of wood, steel and glass, covered in trinkets and symbols. The thing sneers groggily from within, it’s mismatched eyes rolling in it’s skull.
I don’t hear Sylvia approach, I notice her as she smacks me in the back of the head hard enough to make my ears ring. The old, cruel woman is walking toward the doors of this meeting place.
“Eyes forward, sneer on your face, and walk like you know where you’re going. “ Are her only instructions.
For once, they’re clear and simple. What I see inside easily keeps my attention, and I’m equal parts scared and pissed off, so looking edgy and miserable is my default state.
At one point, this place was exactly what you’d think. I know you’re all expecting it to be a run down, rat infested haunted house now, but it was, stranger than that.
The place was well kept on the inside, but everything was either in use or repurposed to house the couple hundred eclectic customers milling around. In the centre, is a massive Lucite Cube, crystal clear and housing a ball pit, jungle gym and what looks to be a functional canteen, complete with a deep fryer and popcorn machine. It’s a couple hundred meters a side, and shaped like a flawed rectangle.
Smoke hangs in the air, my aunt greets old friends in a handful of different languages, I smile and nod, still trying to understand what the hell this place is.
We see Augustus being wheeled to the Lucite box, Sylvia cuts a laughing Cyrillic conversation short, and her and I make our way to the box that barely restrains the hatred and death inside.
At the other end of the Lucite Cube I see a few people dressed in blue and maroon uniforms ( if I were to guess vintage, from when this place served shitty food instead of violence.), they surround a massive, hulking, lanky thing. It’s obscured by smoke, and poor lighting, but it’s nine foot frame, and unnatural gait are clear.
The box holding Augustus sits about ten feet away from me, inside the massive cage. The front opens, my instinct is to step backward, get as much distance between me and the thing inside as possible, but instead, I’m shoved, before I can catch my balance, a workbook clad foot is in front of me.
I fall and stumble into the cage, I turn around to try and get out as fast as I can, I’m standing inches away from the creature, but I see Sylvia closing the clear, impermeable door.
It hits me then. For the first time since this ordeal started, I realize how grim things are.
Just like everyone else here, I’ve been raised on spooky shit packaged to be marketable. Little monsters, The Adams Family, Harry potter, hell let’s throw Pokemon and the like in there as it’s basically just dog fighting with a cute hat on.
And I thought what was happening to me, was somewhere on the Venn diagram of those things.
But as I see the impassive look on the face of a woman I’ve known since I was a child, ( at a distance or no.) as I’m locked in here with God knows what, I get it. I really get it.
His laughter is like an ice pick, I turn to face him, Augustus brushes himself off, casually looking around the massive arena.
“Just hit ya didn’t it, bud? “ He says, walking over to me, his steps impossibly quick, almost insect-like, “You’re not my trainer, or my wrangler, you certainly aren’t my fucking partner. “, the entity grabs my chin between two clawed fingers, “ You’re a bait dog. Something for me and that new blooded walking pun to fight over. “
My blood runs down his thumb, his grin cracks his face like a rotten melon, the monster pulls down, throwing me to the floor.
A buzzer sounds, and a three minute timer, projected in transparent red appears on the walls of the Lucite arena.
“If I’ve got to hunt you down in this shit-hole, things are going to be a lot worse for you. Stay put, bud. “ The trenchcoat clad thing says, casually walking toward the creature on the opposite side of the arena.
Closer now, I see it clearly. Inside of a pristine uniform, is a twisted attempt at the human form. The torso is lumpen, asymmetrical, but lean. It's arms nearly drag on the floor, yellow, infected looking flesh, weeping pus like a snail’s foot.
It's eyes are black caves, with just the hint of something deep within. It’s face is blank, a torn, haggard looking grey tongue runs over rotting green teeth.
The kid beside it looks around my age, he’s big though, just as confused and afraid as I am. He wears a similar uniform to the creature, but his looks, abused, torn, blood stained. Like it's been handed down from one unlucky owner to the next.
As the buzzer rings, the lanky, disgusting creature moves in a flash, tearing off the kid’s right arm and beginning to chew it.
The blood didn’t set me off, as terrible as it was. It was the three seconds between the act, and the poor kid realizing what happened that pushed me over the edge.
He started to scream, a horrible trapped animal kind of noise. He backs away from the monster beside him, gripping the crushed and torn remains of his forearm.
Augustus laughs, his trenchcoat drags on the floor, leaving a streak of blood as he walks.
“Man after my own heart.
So, I say, we split these sides of beef for two minutes then talk shop for a bit. Fuck these pretentious apes and their show. “ Augustus looks up to the massive thing. It remains impassive, gnawing on the hand.
“Don’t be like that. We both know two halves are better than one whole . Win-win for both of us“ Augustus gets a noise that sounds like an angry sewer pipe, and a dismissive wave of a long snake-like arm in response.
The thing in the trenchcoat shrugs, turning around and stalking toward me.
“You have no luck at all kid, I was going to let you go last.
But the pinworm back there wants to be a dick about things, so looks like things are getting started early. “ Augustus grins, his mouth opening shark like.
I stare down certain death, Augustus radiating fear, seeming to become more demonic with each step toward me.
From behind him, a noise.
I would have just assumed it was some part of the worm-like, filth ridden thing eating. Augustus clears up that misconception.
He turns, shaking, body language that of a wild animal.
“Was that a fucking snicker? A giggle? Are you fucking laughing at me, you literal fucking worm. “ He’s panting, hands twitching like dying insects.
He stands, inches from the other creature, dwarfed by it, teeth grinding, muscles straining.
The worm thing casually tosses the flesh bare hand toward Augustus. As it touches his coat, the arena erupts into a kind of wild, senseless, limitless violence.
It doesn’t feel like watching a fight, it’s more like a car wreck, or natural disaster. Pieces of jungle gym turn into lethal shrapnel as the blurred, filth spewing scrum destroys them.
I see the timer, 2:15. My mind starts to catch up, and I see the other kid, pale, whimpering, and trying in vain to staunch the blood spurting from his arm.
I’m running, low and likely poorly, pulling my belt from my pants, and thanking myself for actually listening when I was forced to take a first aid course for a summer job last year.
The kid is scared, he tries pushing me away, but I’m determined, and not down a couple pints of blood. I pull the belt with two hands, pull it through again and twist, it’s ugly, it’s not perfect, but the flow of blood begins to slow, then stop.
We crawl behind a prize counter, decades old candy and stuffed animals surround us as we cower. A liquid filled roar loud enough to crack the cheap glass cases fills the room.
The kid is looking rough, blood still trickling from the torn stump of his forearm. I see some plastic bags and get an idea.
I lean over to get them, and feel something strange, at first I think I pulled a muscle.
Then there is a deep, burning pain, instinctively I pull away, and turn around.
The kid is on his knees, sanity has left his eyes, a cheap hunting knife in his remaining hand he has a look of panic and determination on his face.
“We have to win. “ he says, lunging at me with the blade.
He’s slow, and I avoid it, but not by as much as I’d like. Blood runs down my back, for a moment I wonder how bad I’m hurt, but it doesn’t really matter right now.
I retreat, but the only thing keeping us from being torn apart by the whirlwind of shrapnel caused by the creatures is the counter, I can’t escape.
It's a stalemate, I’m no athlete, and the kid is built like a rugby player, but he’s missing a hand, and delirious from blood loss. I plead, I try and reason, and I dodge crazed strikes by increasingly narrow margins.
Something large, either thrown or knocked loose destroys the counter behind me. Suddenly all is chaos. I’m thrown into the kid in the uniform, plaster dust surrounds us in a grey cloud.
By the time the air clears the kid is on top of me. I have his wrist in one hand, keeping the split tip of the blade inches from my face.
The angle is too awkward, I can’t get any leverage. It’s not a stalemate, it’s a war of attrition that I’m losing.
I catch a glimpse of the two creatures. The worm thing is striking at Augustus, who stands still, limbs moving in arcing blurs deflecting the blows and tearing off chunks of foul, tainted flesh.
The tip of the knife begins to dig into my cheek. A drop of blood hits my eye.
I grab the makeshift tourniquet with a free hand and roughly yank forward. The kid on top of me screams, bloods begins to pour. Torn flesh and a gore soaked belt hit the ground.
For a moment the weight on me eases up, and I push the knife forward. But the kid, he’s too stupid or far gone to just back off. As I feel is strength start to fade, he presses himself harder.
I expect him to back off as I begin to drive the roughly sharpened back edge of the knife into his neck. But he doubles down, leaning forward, trying to press the knife toward me.
For a moment, every other fucked up thing going on around me doesn’t matter. The world is small, silent, and consists of nothing more than the image of the knife ripping away a fist sized strip from the kids neck.
He backs off when he realizes the extent of the damage. Staring at me shocked, as if just not realizing the consequences of his actions.
He dies slowly, poorly, and within inches of me. I feel no victory, no sense of being a winner, just a dark pit in the back of my mind. The loss of something that comes with taking someone’s life.
I stand, shell shocked, staring at the corpse. My safety the last thing on my mind.
The worm thing is hurt, and attempts to dive into the ball pit, but somehow, defying physics, Augustus grabs it, holding the half ton monster out with one hand.
He arcs the thing, slamming it into the floor behind him, the spray of gore and viscera rivals pyrotechnics, the force leaves a blood filled crater in the floor.
Without missing a beat Augustus starts to walk toward me, making a token effort of flicking pieces of bone and organ from himself.
I’m frozen, I know nothing I can do could stop whatever he has planned.
The creature picks up a jagged piece of lumber, and looks at the clock, “We’ve got 45 seconds of fun left kid. “ he says with a sneer.
But as he passes the counter, and sees the corpse the look of imminent violence turns into amusement.
“How’s it feel to be a child killer, bud? “, Augustus laughs, “Not that I can’t tell from the look on your face.
Fuck me, that knocked some gears loose didn’t it? “
The thing walks forward, looking me over like a collectable.
“I can’t let that go to waste, now can I? “ he slaps me lightly, “It’s going to be a fucking blast watching you break down kid, wonder what drives you nuts first, this kid being in your dreams, or the fact that, at some point I’m going to get bored and start giving you all the pain you feel you deserve? “
Of course, I made it out alive. It’d be kind of hard to have posted this if I didn’t.
But now, I sit in a dingy room in a farm house half way across the world from home. Surrounded by family and monsters, all of which seem out to get me. Being forced to risk my life in some kind of blood sport.
Maybe I’ll be back, maybe I’ll be dead by the next time I get a chance to post anything. If anyone has any help, please, post it in the comments. I’m in a dark place here and no one else seems to be on my side.
I decided to let everyone know how things are going.
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/s/TQJpCXsGMK