Red and white itchy spot

TLDR -------------------------------------
The problem: My fish, Zane, has been extremly lethargic for about a while. A white spot has developed on his side in the last few days. And he is no longer swimming up for food.
What I think it could be: stress (moving, bioload, bad tank location in the house, etc), old age, or sick - maybe swim bladder disease.
What I'd like to get from this post: help identifying the problem and help addressing/fixing it.
Images linked here
Full Story --------------------------------
The time line: - Student teaching Jan 17 - May 1 - Return to fish Mar 15 / April 25-28 / May 6-11 - Friend watches fish Mar 25-28 / April 28 - May 5 / - Fish Moved April 28 / in travel cup until April 30 / in small tank until May 13 / new tank set up May 13 / new filter pump and cartridge May 14 - I start worrying about lethargy April 28 - Different friend watches fish May 10-12 - says he swam up to get food once or twice - partner cares for fish May 14-17
The situation: I was student teaching this spring (Jan 17 - May 1) and so my partner was taking care of Zane in our old apartment while I moved in with family. I have been back at different times during the semester (March 15 / April 26 / May 6-11 ) and my partner has come to visit me too (March 25-28 / April 28 - May 5) and during those times a neighbor has watched him. Any time we have a trusted friend watched him, they will fed him 3 blood worms daily because it is easy to measure. Our friends all have animals and follow the exact instructions we leave.
I have had Zane since February 25, 2021. As he has gotten older, he has slowed down and taken longer to respond, but he still had a lot of energy and swam up to greet you or get food in the morning. But lately he has gotten really lethargic and appears sick.
I don't know the parameters or if there was a strict cleaning schedule while I was student teaching outside of topping the water up every 2 weeks. But, now that things have calmed down we will be returning to a set schedule.
Recently we got a different apartment near where I was student teaching and my partner moved in with me. During the transition of moving, the semester ending, and graduation there were periods where my partner cared for Zane, I cared for him, or a friend cared for him. Zane moved into the new apartment with us on April 28.
He was in a travel bowl for 2 days (it's bigger than the petstore cups, but idk how big it actually is), then he was in a 2 gallon cube for another 10 days days before we got his 5 gallon tank back and set up. During moving we packed as much water as we could into takeaway soup containers because I thought it would be best to bring his old water that already had the bacteria and stuff. When we got back I took everything out of the tank (I wanted to search the gravel for snails) and then added the fluvel substrate and some of the old fishtank gravel on top. I dumped the water filled with all the gravel debris before adding the new substrate. I put all the decorations back then added the old water we saved and the new water from his 2 gal temporary tank together. I doubt the temporary tank was cycled, but he is usually fine staying in that tank when I travel. It's always filtered water, heated, conditioned and left to sit out for a day before adding him. During this process, I had him in a sealed plastic bowl Tupperware with holes in the top and then let him acclimate to the new water by setting the bowl in the tank. I was concerned about the old filter because it looked very gross, so I replaced the entire unit.
Since moving Zane has been really lethargic and spends all his time laying in the bottom of the tank. He used to have a lot of energy, swim around, rest on the plants, or rest on the heater, hunt shrimp, and I suspect he also tried to hit the snail once he realized it was in his tank.
Now, I know he is moving because when we check on him, several times a day, he's in a different spot than he was the previous time. But, in uploading photos, I noticed all of the photos I have are from the same corner of the tank, so maybe he isn't moving as much as he was earlier.
He also moves quickly if we gently brush against him or beside him. But, he is no longer swimming up for food or acting like he used to. He does look at us when we come near him. His eyes look like they're following us. He is breathing because his gills are moving, but it seems labored. I think he is stressed with the move, but his color is fine. He used to sleep or rest a lot too but his fins were always moving when he did and now they don't seem to be.
He has been in the new set up for about a week or two now and a few days ago (maybe May 17/18) I noticed a white spot on his side. It's only one, so I don't think it's itch. There is some white fuzzy something on the driftwood, but according to google it's just bacterial growth and should be fine. I've reduced the food I give him because it doesn't seem like he's eating in all. I used to feed him a small pinch of bug bites or 3 bloodworms because he seemed to have more energy with that pattern than without.
Appearance wise, his color is fine, it doesn't look like itch, it doesn't look like popeye, and his scales aren't pineconing. It could be swim bladder disease?
Thank you for your help.

35m white asthma 6'1 160lb. I smoked cigs for 13 years, quit, then vaped nicotine for 3yr. Smoked weed the whole time. Quit vaping 1.5 years ago.
Im having issues with my throat and lungs/coughing. I quit all smoking a few days ago cause of this. I'm suppose to go for xray and ultrasound.
I was trying to find i guess where in m throat it was bothering me. I put my fingers down my throat and just past the flappy epiglottis thing theres a hard bumpy structure kinda V shaped sticking upwards. Is this normal? I think it might be cartilage but it seems in a weird spot kinda sticking upwards.
It just kinda feels like I hav something stuck in my throat sometimes and I thought that this could be causing it? But it could also be phlem/mucous. Im coughing up a lot of black crap, think it just might be super thick lumps of mucous from the depths of my lungs that gets stuck to the side of my throat for a while.

Selling multiple items. Lot Pictures on request.
Ships from Hong Kong, all my prices include shipping fees unless stated otherwise. Paypal Goods and Services. Any questions please ask.
GameBoy Color
x1 GameBoy Color Indigo (JAPAN REGION) CIB, outer box in great condition, comes with matching serial booklet, no scratches on the screen lens, very good condition - $180 usd
x1 GameBoy Color Teal (JAPAN REGION) CIB, outer box is quite beat but system is in good condition has scratches, clean screen with no noticeable scratches on the screen lens, includes matching serial booklet - $100 usd
x1 GameBoy Color Hong Kong Exclusive Pokemon Limited Edition, more info here an incredibly rare variant, the shell colorway is entirely exclusive to Hong Kong. Some minor scratches on the screen lens and a little yellowing on the top of the console but otherwise in great condition. - $750 USD (I sold one in worse condition months ago for $750 usd) LOOSE SYSTEM ONLY.
Nintendo 3DS/DS
x1 Pokemon Heartgold with Pokewalker, pokewalker is brand new, CIB. The outer box is in beautiful/mint shape with the exception of a slight on one of the corners of the box - $350 usd
x1 Pokemon Soulsilver with Pokewalker, pokewalker is used, box has rips on the back but otherwise good condition, CIB - $230 usd
x1 Pokemon Black 2 CIB, cartridge has no scratches on the label, very clean. - $160 usd
x1 Pokemon Soulsilver (loose) - $125 usd
x1 Pokemon White 2 (loose) - $160 usd
3DS + DS Game lot (pricecharting valued at $497 usd) asking $380 usd shipping fees included:
Games included are as follows: 28 games total - (all US//NTSC region), CIB unless stated otherwise.
x1 NDS Mario & Luigi Partners in Time
x1 NDS Kirby Canvas Curse
x1 NDS Sega Superstars Tennis
x1 NDS Gardening Mama
x1 NDS Mario Kart DS
x1 NDS Mario & Donkey Kong 2 March of the Minis
x1 3DS Pokemon X
x1 3DS Style Savvy Trendsetters
x1 3DS Cooking Mama 4 Kitchen Magic
x1 3DS Cooking Mama 5 Bon Appetit!
x1 3DS Steeldiver
x1 3DS Super Mario 3D Land
x2 3DS Pilotwings Resort
x1 LEGO City Undercover the Chase Begins
x1 LEGO Batman 2 DC Super Heroes
x1 LEGO Star Wars III
x1 LEGO Chima Laval's Journey
x1 LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game
x1 LEGO Harry Potter Years 5-7
x1 Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate
x1 Monster Hunter Generations
x1 New Super Mario Bros 2
x1 Puzzle and Dragons Z + Mario
x1 Rayman 3D
x1 Resident Evil Revelations
x1 Mario Kart 7
x1 LEGO City Undercover the Chase Begins (Nintendo Selects)
Wii + Wii U Game Lot: (CIB unless stated otherwise), NTSC USA region. (Pricecharting value: $516 usd) Asking $390 usd shipping fee included.
x1 Wii Sports
x1 Wii Sports Resort
x2 Wii Super Mario Galaxy
x2 Wii Resident Evil 4 Wii Edition
x1 Wii Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess
x1 Wii Super Paper Mario
x1 Wii Dragonball Revenge of King Piccolo
x1 Wii The House of the Dead OVERKILL
x1 Wii Conduit 2
x1 Wii New Super Mario Bros Wii Edition
x1 Wii Mario Kart
x1 Wii Super Smash Bros Brawl
x1 Wii U StarFox Zero & Starfox Guard Bundle
x1 Wii U Bayonetta 2
x2 Wii U Nintendoland
x3 Wii U Splatoon
x1 Wii U The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD
x1 Wii U Captain Toad Treasure Tracker
x1 Wii U Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games
x1 Wii U Kung Fu Panda Showdown of Legendary Legends
x1 Wii U Mario Party 10 (red box)

TW!!!
Hey ladies, and all those in between reading this!!
Background; I’m a 28 year old female, no history of any diagnosis. I’ve had two back to back miscarriages at 6/7 weeks. First one was my first pregnancy, managed to get pregnant in 3 months. That ended in a mc at 6+6. 7 months later pregnant again, currently going through my second (will be confirmed at scan next week) I haven’t had any tissue passing sorry TMI! Just 2 clots that were defo red not grey pregnancy tissue. I had spotting no cramps at all! For 4 days. I did get a scan showed baby in right place and I was only 5+4. I know it’s common. Still having pregnancy symptoms minus bloating.
My question is; what tests did you get done? Treatment? I’m so discouraged. It feels like my body is failing me all over again. My sisters have no problems staying pregnant. Just me.

So I have owned FO3 GOTY on steam for a while now but I just recently installed the game again and it won't work I've ran the game in compatibility mode for windows 7, Vista and xp as well as using admin launch but still no luck are their any sure fire mods that will fix the game so don't have to go through the pain of hooking up my 360 and wrangling the disk drive closed fandangling with the red white and yellow cables and and also I want to use mods and the console too if there's nothing I'll see if I can just get regular fo3 with the dlc on steam instead lmao

Hey all. I just started shaving at age 27(F), and I know I'm doing something wrong, but don't know what. I don't have a mom or sister to ask for advice so I'm trying to figure this out, but I'm getting frustrated.
Every time I shave, I get red bumps all over, regardless if its my legs, my arms, etc. Not itchy per se, but very textured. Also, the hairs don't even cut all the way. I have never in my life had a successful shave. I tried going with the grain, and against the grain. What am I doing wrong? Too much pressure? Bad gel? Bad razor? Something else?
Currently using this as my razor: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0039LMTAQ
And the Walmart brand of this as my cream: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0032ANCUA

Hey all. I just started shaving at age 27(F), and I know I'm doing something wrong, but don't know what. I don't have a mom or sister to ask for advice so I'm trying to figure this out, but I'm getting frustrated.
Every time I shave, I get red bumps all over, regardless if its my legs, my arms, etc. Not itchy per se, but very textured. Also, the hairs don't even cut all the way. I have never in my life had a successful shave. I tried going with the grain, and against the grain. What am I doing wrong? Too much pressure? Bad gel? Bad razor? Something else?
Currently using this as my razor: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0039LMTAQ
And the Walmart brand of this as my cream: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0032ANCUA

What should I look for in selecting a male Irish Setter puppy virtually? Does it really matter—eg. can you really tell much about a puppy from pictures? Head shape, nose, white spots on chest…etc. What are good questions to ask the breeder? I know their entire pedigree is AKC registered, so I’m not too worried (and they’re all so cute!). Just curious. Thanks!!!

Title.
So currently, we have the mDPS in two categories: Raisers (SMN/RDM) and Raiseless (BLM/PIC). However, according to Yoshi P, there was a heated debate about summoner keeping their rez for 7.0 and tenatively they kept it for now. But this raises the question: Should they?
Now to preface this, of course there'd be other changes made to the classes. This not "take their toy, give them nothing in return". However, the "raise" is an unquantifiable yet incredibly kit-taxing element. No class can save a wipe like RDM can, even if it ends up costing them their entire DPS and essentially parsing 0. (Yes, parse doesn't matter, I know). Conversely, once you know the fight well enough, Red Mage really...isn't worth it. If nobody is messing up, you're better off with any other mDPS simply because they do more damage and often bring more to the table.
Then it come to the flavo"Class identity" section. Historically, summoners haven't had rez magic. Red mages have, which is one of their boons from a thematic point. While they lack mastery, they're capable of red, white and black magicks AND some melee. Flavor-wise, it would make sense for summoner to get more power while Red Mage becomes the raise DPS.
But at the same time, it further skews RDM into a corner as the prog DPS which is dropped the moment you don't really need to prog. After all; if you don't need the rez, why bring a RDM which deals less damage and has less buffs for your group than a summoner or black mage? Removing their raise could afford more of a power budget to go back into their kit but then a healer wipe is now a 100% dead pull.
What do you all think? And I don't expect a "here is the right answer" on this, but more of a discussion about mDPS having a rez, the value it brings and if it's worth having at the cost of kit strength.

I have already made short post that I finished series finale. I stiil feel sad, depressed and that feeling when tv show ended.... unbelievable how "The Shield" is stuck with me. Can't believe this journey is over.
I wanted to say so many things. Firstly, how can I miss this? I was too young when it came out, but I hear about "The Wire" everywhere even now. "The shield" feels like out of the radar all the time. WE MUST DO SOMETHING WITH IT! Please, just watch "The Shield"!
My friend told me to watch it and he stumbled upon this Tv show in one cool review that was left by some user (girl , actually) on my native language site about movies/tvshows.
When I look at some photos and pictures of "The Shield" I have thoughts that it is like CSI or some other typical cop show with nothing more. How wrong was I with such first impression.
What I really like that "The shield" has blu-ray release. So cool tv show is reinnovate for high quality format and has a lot of bonus features on blu-ray.
My friend also told me that I need to watch especially until Season 5 where it will be so high level quality writing that I gonna really appreaciate "The Shield".
As for myself, I fond of cinema. I just not go easy on any movies/tvshows. I am very nit-picking because I like to learn about cinematography, screenwriting, directing and so on. For me movies like the greatest art and I study movies as an art. That's why I feel bored about modern movies and TV shows. Screenplays are not bold, not so complex, characters feel flat and creators afraid to insult other races, woman right and so on. Many movies and TV shows of modern era feel convinient. I am tired of that. And I started to watch "The Shield" six months ago.
"The Shield" was aired in the right time! Year 2002 like "The Wire". From the pilot episode "The Shield" don't try to be convinient, it shows you what Vic and his team doing, what "The barn" doing everyday. Everything around characters feels not-convinient: drug-addicted, child trafficking, other awful staff around. Characters not just saint and clean, they do what they have to do like it or not as a viewer. That's what I wished for a long time. "The Shield" just clicked with me. I can't even imagine TVshow about cops can be on such level with great cast, great characters, really good screenwriting, directing and editing.
Before "The Shield" I can't tolerate semi-documentary cinematography and "hand-held" effect of camera in movies. In "The Shield" I fall in love with such camerawork and editing. That's really what I can't imagine I would love in cinemas. In this Tv show every take is so close, editiing beetwen close-mid plan camera panning and it feels so great in terms of "The Shield" storytellling. You are always near characters, you like breathing just around their shoulders and see every bad side of Farmington so close that you feel how disgusting this district is. Incredible work from cinematographers and editors.
Dynamic feeling of everything that happens on the screen. The greatest part of "The Shield" it is never trying to dragging some melodrama to extend seasons or try to be sentimental in the scenes. Modern TVshows really like that and i don't. Don't need to play with the viewer. In "The Shield" everything happenes so fast, so realistic that sometimes you can't even catch a breath. Not a single dull episode. In every episode something cool will definetely happens and it keeps you attached to the screen. And I don't mean that "The Shield" hasn't some melancholic or not-fast pacing moment. On the opposite, "The Shield" has everything what makes cinema alive and fascinating.
Let me explain what I really like about "The Shield" and I have never experience such different emotions just in one piece of the cinema:
In "The Shield" you can feel like a kid again and rooting for cool-masculine guys who breaks door and shout: "Police! On the ground!". After some episodes I really wanna just play in cops and criminals on my yard with friends. That's how action feels in this Tv show. I wanna buy merch with "Strike Team" on it and snake eating rat logo. Incredible.
In "The Shield" as an adult you can feel totally devastated by events that just happened on the screen. You can feel pure emotions from character actions. And what most important you don't want to judge character right away you want to put yourself in his shoes because what character did feels so realistic. Characters here not some fancy cards, you can feel them like real human beings.
In "The Shield" you can laugh as an adult. Humor in some scenes and from some characters really spot on and not stupid. It is full drama but some episodes has great humor parts. And again it feels so real and natural like human beings in real life would joke about something. Bilings sutuations and lines from later seasons are just pure gold.
In "The Shield" you want to discuss some parts of the story. It feels like after reading a good complex books with interesting characters you start to think about their actions and how you can think about your actions in the real life. What it is like to be a coward? To be hypocrite? What about loayalty and friendship? Trust me not so many movies/TVshows can be so full-thinking. It's a miracle that such depth can be in cop TV show. I stiil can't imagine how believable characters are and situations in "The Shield". Script and story of all seasons and how characters arcs redeemed is golden!
So I trying to say "The Shield" can feel like popcorn-blockbuster cop show in some parts with overacting but sometimes it's pure complex drama with silence scenes and great acting and very realistic characters. It's the best mixture of movie formula that I have seen in my life! I stiil can't imagine that I saying such words in terms of cop TV show.
"The Shield" was ahead of its time. It is a real piece of art. In modern days I want to see Tv show with overacting (when it need to be done), cool action and the same time it can provide me with great drama sequences and believable characters.
[SPOILER] section below. Please read only if you watched the series.
What I also like about "The Shield" it has great leading character. Michael Chiklis was born for this role. Maybe in first seasons you can think he overacting sometimes and can't be so dramatic but in the late seasons Michael have shown one of the best acting scenes in cinema. Pure mastery. This 42 second silence in front of Olivia was something unique and incredible. Then final eyes scene with Cloudette and finale running eyes scene in the ending of season 7 when he sits alone.
Vic is so well written in every season. He is the anchor of the show. So charismatic, strategy wise, musculine and cool and what I like the most this character feels real. When Vic came alone in gang territory and didn't fear anything you believe in that. You understand as a viewer that not anybody in "the barn" have balls for things that Mackey can do. He uses "shortcuts" in police work that only he can manage. He has really metal backbone. Even when he mentally broke at the end of the 1st season he needs just a couple of minutes to grab his shit together and go further. Character has a great amount of willpower and dedication to do anything that he wanted to.
Vic is the greatest anti hero in cinema history. Many side characters hate him but when there is a problem that no one can resolve Mackey step up. Farmington is so dirty that it needs people dirty as Vic to clean it.
I actually always rooted for Vic as a viewer because nobody in "The Shield" is black and white. Even Claudette free Kleavon from death penalty to keep her warm place. And I like that "The Shield" shows every character is corrupt somehow.
But I can't believe that Vic betrayed Ronnie. It hits hard. After that I as a viewer understood Cloudette words: "Vic is trying to be someone he wants you to see him". We viewers see Vic true nature in the final episode and it hits hard too. He always was like that and we didn't want to accept. And some part of me like him but other part can't forgive him for what he did to others. Such a great character downfall through all seasons. And this shot when he smiled to his gun and go somewhere. Where did he go? He can't sit tight he always need to be "living on the edge" this his type of character.
I wanna write about other characters. Shane for sure. But Post is too big. I leave it for later.
10/10. I am empty and depressed that "The Shield" journey ended for me. Can't believe that many people don't know about this masterpiece. I am glad I stumbled upon it. It touched my strings for cinema love that not any movie or tv show touching in years.
So many emotions and thoughts. Thanks to Shawn Ryan, Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins and every other member of "The Shield" crew and FX. I wish I had a chance to tell it to them personally. I am grown man but I feel emotions like a kid again. Pure emotions from "The Shield" story.
To sum up my words. I like this ending montage of Season 2. It has great editing and you feel emotions. I literally cried when I rewatched it after the final. Clodette touches Dutch and thanked him. Aceveda moving forward. Coriine in thoughts. Dutch investigate a murder again. And Pile of money scene... Vic the only one who is laughing but others feel mix emotions. Gives shivers to my spine.
The Shield - Overcome Season 2 Ending (youtube.com)

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.

25(m) been with my gf 26(f) for about 8 months.
She wasnt very active before me and doesnt have any std history.
I Havent had any other relations with anyone else since.
1 week ago i was quite a bit stressed and scratched a ingrown hair making it hitchy. The next morning i had a small red spot there with very very small blisters maybe 5 or 6. Felt a bit irritated but not itchy nor did it hurt.
Now a week later and its pretty much gone. Should i be worried that i have hsv1?
Id just came back from a 7hr ride on my motorcycle wearing a couple layers. Could it be from sweat or the friction?