SO usually works 12-15 hours per day 6 days per week often 7 days. When he’s not at work he’s on the phone with work problems or just zoning out in social media. At most we get 10 hours a week (generous estimate) of time together as a couple and most of that is spent just watching tv or he shows me some shirts in YouTube and we might eat together.
The only time SO works less is when SD is visiting instead of coming home at 1:30am he will make sure to be home at 9:30pm. He also goes in late to work. I get it he wants to spend time with her but I would like a little time too.
This past weekend he went to work Sunday later in the day and asked me to take the kids to the park, then get them food, then drive them back to their other parents. That’s my new baby with him who is 4 months, his 6 year old, and my 10 year old. So that’s a lot for me and especially a lot for the baby getting in and out of the car seat and doing long drives to drop off two other kids who are 45 min away from us and 1 hour apart from each other. Plus he asked me to drop by his job after park and food but before leaving so he could say goodbye to SD.
I kind of got upset. I told him that’s putting the baby in the car and out for the park. Back in and out and in for pizza, out and in to visit him, a 45 min drive, another hour drive, and 45 min drive. With that amount of time in the car I would need to stop at least 1-2 times to change her diaper and nurse her while sitting in the car. It was too much to ask. I told him say goodbye to her now in not stopping at his job. There was only a couple hours for me to do all this because BM is very HC and will call the police if I return her late. She actually recorded the whole drop off it was so uncomfortable.
I feel like he makes sure to spend time with SD but not with me and our baby. I feel like he asks me to do an awful lot for him and SD. I’ve been not answering his calls today and just hanging quietly with the baby today because I feel down. He’s been gone since 10 am (he said I made him late by asking him to watch the baby for 30 min so I could get a little more rest since she had me up from 4am-5:30am.) and he won’t be back until after midnight at least.

Probably gonna delete this but I have to vent. I spent a lot of the day crying.
I have 2 kids under 2. My youngest is 11 months old. He was diagnosed with craniosynostosis at 3 months old and had surgery to fix it (removing part of the skull to create room for brain growth) right before he turned 4 months. 2 weeks later, he got his helmet. 3 weeks after that, his top incision started “spitting sutures,” which created an infection. Mind you, in this time, we were having weekly/biweekly follow ups with his surgery team 2 hours away and the helmet place…so many appointments. We drove about 2200 miles just for appointments from September to December (I only know bc I did the math for tax purposes).
Anyway, the infection cleared up after like 5 weeks. We got back in the helmet and graduated the helmet about a month later. Woohoo. A couple weeks after graduating the helmet, we all got RSV. My husband only called out two days. I was out of commission for a day, my toddler did fine minus the nasty cough, my baby was vomiting, wheezing, lethargic. I took him to the ED for a suction but lucked out of needing a breathing treatment. He was diagnosed with reactive airway disease from it though. Throughout RSV, he kept vomiting soooo much from the congestion. One day he vomited five times. But he was averaging 3 times a day.
A week or so after that, he got his first ear infection. The vomiting continued. Got on antibiotics, life was great. A few days after antibiotic round was over, seemed like he had it again. I wrote it off bc I always thought my first had ear infections and never did. A week later, I took him in and they told me it was bad. 😭 cue another round of antibiotics, but a different kind bc it had been less than a month since his first round. He just finished his last round of antibiotics last week. Seemed like his ear infection was still there or another new one was coming on. Brought him into the doctor this afternoon (both kids in tow, of course 😅) and yep…she could clearly see infection in one ear and couldn’t even see his eardrum in the other one bc of the wax buildup. So now he’s on another different antibiotic and we’re waiting on a call from an ENT to discuss options, most likely ear tubes. Which I know aren’t a big deal, but I just feel like it’s been nonstop one thing after another since he was 2 months old and I first noticed his head being different. This little guy has seen more doctors than I have in the last 20 years.
To add insult to injury, this morning, our kitchen smelled weird. But I figured it was either the fact my husband cleaned out the fridge last night or a poop diaper in the trash can. Left this morning to do our normal morning routine and when I came back (this was all before the dr appt), I went to heat up some nuggets for my 23mo to see that everything in our freezer was melted or thawed. The fridge seemed normal this morning, but I took a closer look at it and temped it and it was 50° for who knows how long. I gave my oldest milk too and am hoping it wasn’t bad. Now we have no milk. No meat. No eggs. Nothing refrigerated. It’s all trash.
It’s not over. I was like ok this fucking sucks but at least I know I can make a claim through our renters insurance. My car and renters insurance are through the same company. I’ve been getting billed every month…but turns out the renters insurance was still trying to bill my expired card whereas my car insurance was billing the correct card. So our policy was cancelled due to nonpayment. Now I can’t even submit a claim. We’re just out probably a good $500 worth of food, if not more.
With everything going on today, I just cried a lot. I can only be so strong for so long. I’ll be strong again tomorrow. But today, I needed to break down. 😭

We launched the first manned Mars mission in 2044, seven months in transit and established an orbit with little issue.
We'd been sending machines ahead to help get things ready for us, but this is was the first time humans were going down to the red planet. If all went according to plan we'd be making our own rocket fuel to head back after a few years. The rocket that took us here has been colloquially called the BFR, you can figure out what those letters stand for on your own, I'm sure.
The BFR Mars delivery system worked great, we loaded a significantly more mass than earlier rockets would have been able and still got here in record time. It always amazes me when new systems perform better than expected, and the particle collectors that we had to continuously 'refuel' while we flew really surprised us. We expected around a 70% efficacy, hitting 95% was a nice surprise. We arrived with plenty of fuel to land our reusable rockets down on the surface, and a fair bit to spare. We'd planned the mission expecting to get 50%, knowing they normally operated more like 70% most of the time. Apparently getting far from the Earth's magnetosphere helps them work better. Eggheads back home are busy crunching over the data.
The habs go down first, and we had eight buildings, that's an extra two in case there was an issue with one on landing. We've had a 95% success rate landing buildings on Mars thus far in prep for human arrival. The habs land without issue, mostly. One of them is off target by about fifty meters, but otherwise everything is great. There's already some machines down there we can use to move it. A crane, a few fork lifts and drills and mining rigs and such. We are going to be responsible for developing on our own, more or less. Sure Earth's gonna send supplies, but the idea is that we're gonna become self sufficient here very quickly.
Descent was more terrifying than launching. The rocket is fully automated, so it isn't like the pilot can do anything to help us if it all goes wrong on the way down. Fortunately, nothing went wrong on the way down. So we landed. All intact and well, I didn't even have to use the in-suit diaper.
Spock Armstrong made the historic transmission back to Earth as he set foot on the Red planet for the first time. "One small step for man, One Gargantuan Leap for Mankind."
The PR men back on earth decided on this line years ago, before the first rocket was even in space, or the crew chosen.
Almost immediately after the broadcast went out, we received one back. It is a woman's voice, small and quiet, "Hello up there. Please don't be alarmed, and also please don't tell Earth we're here." Then there was a beep, the kind that made us all wonder if this was an automated message.
Our suspicions were confirmed when a few moments later it repeated, but in Russian this time. All of us aboard the rocket still looked back and forth at one another.
"Not a funny prank guys." Spock had turned around to look up us on the ramp, but a moment later he too realized it was no prank.
We cut the transmissions back to earth for a moment and talked locally on our radios that don't have nearly enough power to be heard back on earth.
"Okay, so what the hell was that?" Spock said first, he was the man in charge of the mission after all, and so the logical choice to speak first.
Travis Archer, the second in command had hopped into action, he pulled a scanner from the cargo. After the message had repeated again, this time in mandarin he said, "Its coming from underground. Actually, right where the off-target hab was meant to land."
Spock groaned with frustration. "Lets unload like this isn't happening for now. We're on a tight schedule these first few days, and there is a great deal to do before nightfall. As we're able lets use what breaks we have to figure this out, get the transmissions to earth started back up, and for now, lets not tell Earth just yet. Geordi O'Brien, can you rig up a journal to send back to Earth on a twenty four hour dead man's switch. We'll collate everything we learn about this... Anomaly, and only send if we have to or decide to do so. For now though, we'll maintain this secret. Someone else is here on Mars with us."
Geordi O'Brien, that's me. Named after two of the finest fictitious engineers Starfleet ever had. I set up the dead man's switch to send everything we stored in a particular folder on the rocket's computer, and we set to work on what we were here to do. Spock was right, it was a long day and we barely got finished with our work before sunset. Huh, Sunset on another world. Spock pushed us hard all day to get us to where we could enjoy the view at sunset. I was annoyed with him during the day, but now I think it was worth it in the end.
After the sunset we all headed into the habs to get out of our suits and finally take a shower in real gravity. Low, but real. We hooked tubes up between all the habs, we found an antenna stuck up from deep underground right were the one hab was supposed to land. We put our hab in a secondary position, and tubed it up too, leaving some space for us to explore and drill down where the antenna popped up.
The next few days proceeded as the international scientific community back on earth had planned. The transmissions from below kept up in thirty minute intervals. And cycled through quite a few languages. We tried calling back to them on the same frequencies, but no one responded.
Eventually we stopped being so incredibly stressed out and working 85% of our waking hours, however that only gave us more time to ruminate on the transmission from underground. On day four we started digging down following the antenna.
Our ground penetrating radar says there's a whole... complex down there. There's only twenty seven of us here on mars, and we have a good bit of space really, but the complex down there is huge. Big enough for several hundred.
We continued to dig down, on day nine Spock and I think at our current rate we'll be down to what we hope is a hatch in a few days. We've been keeping up with the mission back from Earth, and for now, they still don't know. Many discussions have been had about if and when and how we admit to Earth what we found. We decide getting a fuller picture is a better idea. No need to cause a panic on Earth before we have some answers.
Our crops in the greenhouses are doing well in the martian soil. The gene modded bee queens are growing their hives, and the first fuel producers on the surface have started to turn out some fuel for our eventual return voyage.
Day twelve and we had dug down enough with the machines to need to go in by hand with shovels and picks.
It was a hatch. Took a little doing, but we got it popped open and dropped down inside, in our suits. What we found inside was at the same time amazing and horrible. There were hundreds of dead bodies. There were adults and terribly, children as well. Human bodies.
Their life support systems seemed to have encountered some kind of catastrophic failure, and they all suffocated down here. There's no signs of struggle, so our hope is that at least it was peaceful.
Their computer systems are not quite like anything we have on our rockets, and after a fair bit of help from the Russian speaking engineer on my team, we managed to access their systems.
I'll summarize what we found.
They came from Earth, and they left in the 1990's. Only not from our Earth. They arrived in our universe in the 1950s our time after encountering some sort of spatial anomaly on their way to the red planet in their own universe. They never figured out how they jumped universes, but their mission was much more well equipped than ours for making a full on mars base.
Their history was vastly different from ours, things started diverging around the end of World War 1. They had that, just about the same as ours, but then, boy howdy does WW2 go different for them. They didn't have a Hitler, but they did have an aggrieved populace after WW1. Their WW2 was better than ours and worse than ours at the same time. While they didn't have a holocaust the same way as us, they did have quite a few casualties just as many people died, it was just a little less... motivated by intense bigotry. Their WW2 ended with nuclear weapons, in 1947. Berlin and Tokyo were nuked on the same day. After that, their world actually ended all wars. They had no real wars after that. No cold wars, no hot wars, only lawfare and scientific contests. War finally seemed to them, unimaginably horrible. Their United Nations was incredibly powerful, like the federal government of the United states in relation to it's states, only over the whole world.
Their captain, a Russian named Yuri, decided that the appropriate thing to do was to still land on mars and to try to continue the project, and just... not contact Earth. Their tech is more advanced than ours in some ways, and miles behind in others. For example our radiation shielding tech is much better, which explains why they dug underground, while we plan to live on the surface.
Their base down here is wealth of scientific knowledge, and alternate history. It is a great tragedy that they hadn't survived another seven years. Their catastrophic environmental control system failure only happened seven years ago. They had grown not just crops, but families, and children. We learned that their culture, as new as it was, had taken to using aquamations to recycle the dead into plants, and my god, their plants in their automated greenhouses are robust. We buried them in the way that their logs indicated they would wish to be buried. And after all that was done and finished. Spock said I could send off this... personal log I'd initially been preparing for my memoir. And all the data.
May whatever god brought them here to our universe rest their eternal souls.
We thank them for their great sacrifices, may we never forget the true Original Martians.

I have a 3 and 9 year old. My nine year old is adhd to the max. The three year old is amazing. I lost my job during the pandemic and have been a full time stay home parent since then. My wife is a doctor and makes good money. The pandemic split most of core friend group up and we decided to move out of state and get a kind of fresh start. We moved to a higher altitude and I developed epilepsy from the altitude and was hospitalized for multiple weeks. My seizures are every three months and I couldn’t drive for three months afterwards. I was totally isolated, wife works all the time, managing a facility and my only companions have been my children. My wife basically only talks about her job, the problems of it and her happy little relationships with coworkers. If I look away during these conversations I’m chastised for not paying attention to her. This is most of our conversations. We have moved back home and are now adjusting being back. My wife took not only one job here but added another one because that’s where she wants to work permanently. She now is working 50-60 hours a week and this is her choice. I get out of bed a couple of times a night to help the three year old get back to bed. I get up around 5:30 to 6 when the youngest gets up. I wake my nine year old up and get him ready for his meds. Meds at seven then to school forty five minutes later. He fights me, screams etc. from sunrise to sundown. It turns me into a total monster. I try to not get frustrated but it’s so exhausting. Meanwhile, my wife is in bed. That’s where she spends nearly every extra minute she has. it does not matter what day it is, when or when not she has to work, she’s in that bed, doom scrolling or watching some trash crime show. It is also becoming quite apparent that she will wait until the oldest is gone and then come out of our room. She for the most part refuses to help around the house because that’s my job. She throws a fit when asked to help with the boys, changing a diaper, go to the grocery give a bath etc. It’s my job. Shes a ghost in our home. I’m constantly belittled because I just sit around the house all day and do nothing. Its very frustrating. I listen to her talk about her things all the time, but am just lazy or complaining if I try and vent. I am always angry, and have been forever. My mother and father were not great parents. My dad died before my children were born. I have gone no contact with my mother. She has expectations that I will fix her life that she’s neglected. She lives 30 minutes away and I have no plans on seeing her until she’s headed under earth. I have my friends here still which is nice. Most have kids, but I can’t take my oldest anywhere around them anymore. He’s destructive, does not listen, yells and screams, talks back. He thinks about nothing before he does it. So here I am, totally isolated again. I am absolutely exhausted by 8pm, but am not allowed to go to bed until the nine year old is asleep. When that’s done, I have to try to sleep with the lights on and a tv show being being played. I ask for it to be quiet, but am just told to go to sleep. She tells me that I should hang out with my friends after he is asleep, but I don’t want to go out when I have to get up at five or earlier. I’ve been drinking too much, beers, and smoking too much reefer, but it feels better to just be on cruise control. I’m not sure what to do. I ask my wife to find some time on her days off to spend some time together but it never really happens. The kid is ruining my life. I don’t know what to do. I get no time alone. If I ask her to watch him for a few hours it’s a fight. I’m so fucking tired. The times I do hang out at my friends house, I just go sit in a room alone for the quiet. Hopefully we can find childcare soon and things will be a little better. I do all of the domestic household stuff as well as, do all the work on our vehicles, mow etc. I am expected to be a plumber, an electrician whatever, and am held responsible for my inadequate ability to do something that I’ve only learned three minutes ago on YouTube. Im constantly called lazy. She has begun to do what feels like me being held financially hostage. She tells me my phone is her phone, my car is her car etc. She tells me the only things I own are a few sentimental things I have. That she owns everything else. I know this isn’t true but its rugged to be told that. I bought a couple of work books to work through my anger issues and she made fun of me for it. I feel like I work hard and give good effort but don’t feel like I’ve done anything right. Thanks for reading my blog post.

Warning: abuse
At 19F in the middle of active alcoholism 3 years after my mom went to jail for murder for hire, I was a SW (looking?) for a SD? - while out at a bar I got approached by a 43M that I found attractive and very charismatic. Thinking we’d end up having “fun”, I returned the honest sentiment of attraction. We stayed together 2.5 years after that. He was a Chemist who laughed and made light of everything, his alcoholism and drug addiction became apparent from the beginning, but not to the extent that it got to/really was.
Like all relationships, things started out fun, a very Glee movie summer-like love, very free-ing. He was a Doctor of chemistry and worked in the oil field prior to my meeting him, because of his living situation and luxury cars he seemed like he was doing well. He never was any type of SD. The night I met him, we made eye contact and never looked away. Our chemistry, pun intended- was like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
I’m the youngest, not the smartest nor prettiest. I quit my jobs because I simply didn’t want to work sometimes, I made a lot of mistakes and I’ve been in the receiving end of family based bullying and school bullying, SA, R@p€, abandonment and trust issues, I’m bipolar, I practice/d SH, depression, GAD… things of the human condition that make it feel like I’m faulty.
This man was the first person that ever sat with me and listened to me vent to the extent that I did the first tight we spent together. We rarely had sex, but we shared breaths as we slept, (he inhales my breath as I exhale his breath, vise-versa and so on and so forth) to keep it brief and give example. He’s the most intimate partner I’ve ever experienced.
I notice others micro expressions and cater to their benefit if it seems they are troubled or asking for help.
I’m having so much trouble these days accepting the fact that I’m never going to meet him again. Specifically because he was so attentive and catering to my needs. He knew immediately when I was masking. I’m so confused and perplexed about the feeling of not having anyone in my life that has that interest in me. I felt so understood. That’s been my first and last experience with feeling understood like that.
He drank from morning to night nonstop. Together we became aware of what alcoholism was. Brown urine, blood, pain… regret that then led to arguments, accidents, threats, drugs, danger, fear turned to bonding, helping each other, trying to get better, failing. Trying again. Do it all over again. Fail. Again and again.
We managed to get sober a few days. His parents loved me. I understood and loved him. He hadn’t been sober for that long and trying for a long time. He was doing better, that’s what his mom would say.
Every relapse got harder, more dangerous medically and physically as well as economically.
Sleep deprivation was torture I hadn’t experienced before. I would be awoken with yelling because of delirium, anger and he would degrade me so badly. Use that bond we had against me, my own experiences turned against me he’d repeat the insults I shared with him to me. Yell those at me. Then love bomb. Then threaten me and my family with guns. I lived in fear when he blacked out. Felt lonely because with all of the yelling, smashing things around, being stared at by neighbors crying, being called an idiot dumbass in front of people and them witnessing me at a low point and then, agreeing with him? No neighbor knocked after crying and yelling to see if anyone was ok or dying. Public shame feels so. Fucking. Lonely. Isolation doesn’t help.
He stopped functioning. His body started giving out. I loved him. Took care of him cleaned his wounds after falls, his body after incontinence. He literally shed blood, shit and tears, regret and asked for forgiveness when I cared for him in his sober state.
In return, I’d receive non stop verbal abuse if I didn’t stop and do what he wanted me to at the time he wanted me to and how he wanted me to. If I didn’t give him my attention he’d end up getting it by threatening my family. And he would! Fight my brother and go after him with loaded guns. So there I would go do what he said. Forced to ride in a vehicle, with him locking the doors, blasting Phil Collins yelling at me. Driving erratically, dangerously. And I’d be so fucking scared of crashing. Just imagining the police report, “f19 dead alongside 43m after drunk reckless driving”. He’d speed in traffic so I couldn’t really jump out the car. I’d end up just drinking to numb the fear.
I had enough and attempted to sleepies forever by taking a sweet deadly cocktail of whatever handful of pills I could get my hands on. We had plastic gallon moving boxes filled with narcotics- he was a pharmacist too. I told him I was going to KMS he said go ahead, so I attempted and I filmed it.
From the setting up the phone in that closet, the one I color coordinated for him, his button-ups and suits in those dry-cleaning bags that hadn’t been opened since leaving the laundry shop… I watched my su!c!d€ afterwards. Out of morbid curiosity. “What a dumbass!” was what he said when he found me. I won’t go into detail of the full video but chest compressions hurt a lot, 10/10 would not recommend. And EMS left the AED stickers on my chest 🤷🏽‍♀️
After that 24hr watch, an awkward taxi drive to a crisis clinic that was understaffed and left me in a room by myself for two hours and walking in public with those see-through paper hospital clothes. Embarrassment is a light expression. When I was taken home, I didn’t have keys, or phone, or anything. Just my discharge papers and my cut vomit stained pajamas in a biohazard bag. - I lived in a gated neighborhood with key-fob-entry-only. I was fucked and waited what seemed like 4 hours for anyone to help me but no one showed up until HE did WITH MY BROTHER. The one who was threatened with a gun, that brother.
JFC the amount of insults, “what a fucking dumbass, what were you thinking? You’re a fucking idiot!” To summarize in the friendliest way. I was dressed in a see through hospital gown, I went straight to the shower, didn’t have the energy to get dressed when they kept just YELLING at me. INSULTING me- I had enough and wanted to defend myself. That’s when my brother pulled out his phone and started filming me pleading with them to let me sleep, calling me crazy, threatening to “show the family how fucking crazy you are!” - I threw my phone. Broke the microwave door. More insults, while still filming me, I was ordered to, “clean it up” - and at that moment. Completely detached, I did.
I put my brother on the soon-est bus to Mexico and sent him to rehab after 2 hell filled weeks of him living with us because he was so fucked in alcoholism he was homeless. To this day I don’t know how I did that.
I managed to leave my ex. 2 weeks later I receive calls from worried friends. Ryan was missing.
After investigating, (calls to police,hospitals, checking out the “usual” spots) - turns out he went to a Circle K looking for Peroni after the liquor store wouldn’t sell to him, tripped on the steps, hit his head on the pavement, STILL MANAGED TO PURCHASE ALCOHOL, left, got into a fight, and somehow miraculously ended up in his apartment where he tried to shower, fell face forward towards the water tap, (which left a softball sized bruise on his right eye and fractured his nose) he then tried to walk towards the kitchen? Passed out in the living room leaving blood all over the walls, puddles on the ground and the biggest blood clot stain on the floor ( we had to get crime scene cleaners). He apparently had a fit where he trashed the apartment by throwing my things, my plants, bottles of crown… anything. Everything was trashed when I found him in the apartment. I counted at LEAST 20 bottles of crown. He was so fucked up we thought he had been assaulted.
COVID hit and hospitals were in full lockdown. As an “essential worker” I could travel to the hospital to see him, and because someone somewhere said I was his wife/fiancée I was the ONLY one allowed to see him.
I snuck behind friends and family’s backs checking in on him at the hospital. Singing The Carpenters songs, wearing his favorite perfumes, reading Bill’s Story (IYKYK), playing Phil Collins. The whole 9 yards.
The last time I saw him, he was in Physical therapy/Rehab. He ended up moving back to his parents in California. Then February the next year, on Valentine’s Day - his mom let me know he passed.
She grieved very much attached to me. It was one of the saddest things I ever had to help someone through - alongside helping her son go through alcoholism.
I became a CNA as a tribute to helping him during those hard sober times where his body gave out. Helping others like that, bathing them, diaper changing, g-tube cleaning, hygiene essentials…
The classic grief started with what-if’s. Etc. it’s been hard lately because all my family is against him and his family resents me for being the only one with access to his medical records during COVID. I’m in a relationship now and our therapist told me to “put a break on it”. Recently. My mental illnesses keep getting worse and I feel like no other has taken such interest in me as much as Ryan did. He was so observant. So in-sync with me. And he was so shitty to me. He’s like the sweetest tasting radioactive flower that once was and will never be. And I’m grieving. And it’s so lonely out here.
I don’t know. I’m not suicid@l, I’m medicated and 4 years sober. It’s been hard and it’s getting harder to understand. I feel neglected and lonely. Anything helps please.

f21, 5'4" 230lbs, i vape no other medication. I was given ketoconazole cream a good bit ago for a fungal infection near my goin area and it cleared it right up, and now i'm pretty sure i'm having like diaper rash almost. my butt crack is really red and raw and sore and so i was gonna see if i could use the left over tubes they gave me (they sent me like 4 tubes of this stuff) and put it in my crack? the cream is not expired. honestly just anything to get this diaper rash type situation under control cause it really hurts!

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

I’m in a grassy, wet shady spot in a house that needs a LOT of repairs. I am a mom with a toddler, all of my limited income goes towards my daughter, our house and groceries / diapers. There’s not much left after that. Since we’ve moved we’ve had ongoing mold mediation, which is why there is bleach wipes and gloves on my list. What has sprung up and really thrown me for a loop is a tick explosion somewhere near our front door, I’m finding them near the front door, on the door, in the door frame, etc. I’ve pulled them off myself and my daughter, thankfully not attached. I am on well water so I can’t really spray, but was recommended tick tubes, they are so expensive ($60) that I am hoping, possibly, someone could help me out. Hoping to pay it forward when I can.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/16JD4GBMX9UP7?ref_=wl_share
Edit - we do mow the lawn all the time and I keep the grass and plants tidy. I think there is a tick nest and there's no way for me to deal with that without treating it.

The new gift-specific dialogue from the 1.6 update has me absolutely tickled pink! This one especially… I also haven’t practiced my creative writing in a while, and I decided it needed to happen sooner rather than later, so here, have a short story! Sorry if it's boring… I’m a little rusty!
“A Gift From The Void”
It was only yesterday… No one was quite sure where it had come from. There had been a sinister cackling noise ringing through the night air and Abigail had mentioned seeing an unidentifiable shape soaring through the sky during her walk home from the cemetery. The townsfolk gossiped and speculated about what it could have been that evening, but by the next morning they still hadn’t come to any reasonable explanation. It was only yesterday, and yet the entire village seemed to have already put it out of their minds and moved on. The scandal and chatter following the “Anchovy Soup Incident” at the Summer Luau several years back had lasted far longer than this… Even now Sam was still getting sideways glances whenever he got within a 20 foot radius of the soup cauldron, but this just blows over in less than a day? The priorities of small town people were strange.
Things had gone back to that same semblance of backwater, middle-of-nowhere kind of normal, and now the night had become just the same as any other Friday evening. Sebastian was playing a round of billiards with Sam, and while Sam was preoccupied with lining up the cue with his intended target ball, the farmer strolled into the saloon and up to the bar. Heads turned and raised to the newcomer for a moment before returning to whatever it was that had been previously holding their attention. Sebastian caught the sudden flourish of movement out of his periphery, but didn’t pay it much mind. The farmer ordered a coffee and a plate of the night’s special, and struck up a conversation with Gus about a peculiar egg that had materialized in their coop seemingly out of nowhere the night before. Apparently they’d decided to tuck it away into the incubator and wait to see what… if anything hatched from it.
Sebastian had never really been one to eavesdrop, but the wait for Sam to make his move was becoming boring, and sometimes the stories that passed around the saloon on Friday evenings got interesting depending on who all was involved. The story didn’t really go too far into detail. The farmer poked at their food until it had cooled enough to not scald the inside of their mouth, then they took a few bites before bringing up the events of the previous evening. What first started off as a funny story seemed to turn into some deep discussion with Gus about the mysteries of life. Eventually, Willy and Elliott were caught up in the mirth and it turned into a medley of strange tales from faraway lands and once-upon-a-times. Obviously exaggerated sightings of fearsome creatures on a midnight stormy sea, legends of colossal white whales, references to works written by masters of the mystery genre, as well as some from a trashy neo-noir novel or two that had probably been picked up from a bookstore clearance shelf.
Willy stroked his beard and mused about some daring battle between himself and a fish of questionable proportions that seemed to grow larger each time he told the story. Sebastian had heard this one before. The fight over the line had gone on for over an hour before the shadow of the fish rose near to the surface, and just before Willy could land the monster of a catch, it dove below again, taking the whole fishing rod overboard and nearly Willy himself with it.
Elliott gulped down the last few swigs of ale in his tankard, slapped the farmer firmly on the back, snorted and chuckled in an ungraceful yet jolly display that only ever crept out of him when he’d had a bit too much to drink.
“That fish becomes more miraculous each time he talks about it!” Elliott shook his head and smiled as he leaned almost a little too far forward. There was a slight sway to his posture and he tried to straighten his body back in line with the barstool. “To life, and her many little silly tricks of fate, my friends!” he declared. He raised the empty mug, and with his free hand, delicately tucked a few strands of stray hair behind his ear with the tips of his fingers. He rested his elbow back on the bar before he could lose his balance and sighed contently. Elliott’s cheeks were practically glowing red at this point and it was a wonder that he wasn’t slurring his words yet.
“Aye, you’ve all heard my fish story haven’t ye?” Willy chuckled. “How ‘bout the one about the Baba Yaga?” the farmer’s head tilted and they gazed curiously at the fisherman. Willy rested his foot on the crossbar of the barstool, lifted the rim of his hat out of his line of sight, and leaned into the counter. “Some know ‘er as the cannibal witch… others say she’s just a misunderstood haggard ol’ woman who lives alone out in woods or marshes. It’s said she lives a rickety old house that stands on chicken feet, and she likes to lure weary travelers into ‘er home, only to gobble ‘em up once they let their guard down. Apparently she’s especially fond of the taste of children…” He laughed in a hoarse tone and made strange spider-like gestures with his calloused hands as if he were telling campfire stories to a group of kids. The farmer’s nose wrinkled at the outlandish notion of some feral old woman devouring toddlers, and Willy laughed heartily at their reaction. “I think that last part the parents like to add into the story to frighten the little ones. It keeps ‘em from wondering into the forests and swamps alone at night.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and glanced back to the pool table. He watched the cue ball clack into the twelve before the twelve bounced off the barriers in the corner of the table and rolled slowly to a stop on the felt surface without pocketing. Sam huffed and stood back upright.
“You really aren’t very good at this, are you?” Seb chimed as he returned his full attention to the game at hand. Sam grinned and laughed.
“Nope!”
“Watch and learn….” Sebastian took aim at the cue ball, and after a single firm strike, drove it into the tiny gap between the two and seven. The cue stopped hard, but the two and seven sped to the opposite corners of the foot of the table, each dropping into one of the corner pockets simultaneously. Sam scoffed and paced about the pool room, but looked back over his shoulder just in time to catch Sebastian with a triumphantly cheeky grin on his face. Sam clicked his tongue and lightly thumped the base of his cue stick into the floorboards.
“Show-off…” he mumbled.
Elliott lifted the rim of the empty vessel to his lips, then chuckled again as he noticed the absence of ale and gestured it in Gus’ direction.
“Good sir, my glass is empty and…. I’m a writer!”
“Maybe you should stop for tonight…” the farmer interjected. “You won’t be sober enough to start your next chapter in the morning!” Elliott rolled his eyes and leaned against the bar counter. He tried to give one of his best theatrically exasperated sighs, but when the exhale turned into a case of the hiccups, they knew he was down for the count. He smiled defiantly and tried his best to look dignified through the sudden spasms in his diaphragm and soused thousand yard stare.
“I-am fiiine… ne’re betta’…”
“…..Aaaand, there he goes…” Leah giggled from the end of the bar counter. “It’s like dropping a ton of bricks on a peach.”
“I oughtta’ help the ol’ scallywag home, I s’pose!” Willy groaned as he stood from the bar stool. He smiled as he hoisted one of Elliott’s arms over his shoulders and stood him up from the bar stool. “C’mon you menace… Let’s get ya home before you make a fool of yourself in front of all the lassies!” he chuckled. Sam took a moment to appreciate the situation at the bar counter. He shook his head and laughed, then took another shot at the 12 and missed horribly yet again.
“Easy does it there!” Emily cooed as she cleared away the empty tankard. “Try not to drop him too hard!” Elliott wobbled towards the door as Willy struggled to keep him upright, and just before they stepped out into the lukewarm summer evening, the farmer waved one last farewell and called out to the well marinated dandy-man as he staggered away.
“Nighty-night! Sleep tight, Rapunzel!” they chirped. Elliot responded to the joke by blowing an overly exaggerated kiss over his shoulder and daintily waiving his fingertips at the company in the saloon, then he nearly tripped over himself as he turned back to the path home. A couple of snorts, giggles and guffaws rose up over the music and chatter in the saloon and quickly melted back into the white noise once the moment passed.
Seb looked Sam in the eyes with a determined glare and smirked.
“Eight in the corner pocket….” Seb didn’t have a clear shot, but leaned over the table, reared back the stick and spiked it into the cue ball. It ricocheted from the bumper, side-swiped the eight, and put just enough force into the edge to cause it to spin sideways into the pocket he’d called. Sam laughed and scratched at the back of his head.
“Awwww, man…” he groaned. “You got me again!” Sam leaned against his cue stick and looked over the table before his eyes lit up in anticipation. “How about a best three out of five?” Abigail giggled at Sam’s request as she stretched and leaned back into the sofa.
“Give it up, blondie! He cooks your goose at this game EVERY single time…. You’re doomed.” She teased. “It’s getting late anyways…”
…
It had been almost a month since the odd shape had been spotted flying over town at this point. Seb and Abby had talked in depth about it, and though most of the other townsfolk had come to the conclusion that it had merely been some sort of exotic bird flying out toward the fern islands, Abby was positive she hadn’t been mistaken. In fact she was adamant that the form looked human. She hadn’t seen or heard any wings flapping and the “squawking” sounded more so like the laugh of an old woman than the cries of a bird. The figure seemed to levitate or hover effortlessly and without the use of any physical or mechanical assistance. It was slumped over as if it was curled up or sitting and just…. Floated away.
The long night spent coding and researching the relevant programing issues at the computer, had caused Sebastian to rise late. He was groggy, didn’t have much motivation to bother rolling out of bed, and it was almost noon at this point. He could hear the rain pattering against the roof of the house and the rumble of distant thunder. As lazy as he felt, a smoke sounded pretty good about now. The sound and sight of the ocean on rainy days also had a way of clearing his head and a little stroll would probably do him some good.
He didn’t pass anyone on the way out of the house. Robin was likely at her aerobics club, Maru, at work in the clinic, and who knew where Demetrius was… Out shoving dirt samples into test tubes, or measuring the volume and PH of the current rainfall? As long as he wasn’t dissecting frogs. Out of all of Sebastian’s childhood memories, that was the one that stuck in his head and haunted him. Back then, Maru had only just been born, and while Robin was busy keeping her entertained, fixing her bottle or changing diapers, Seb was wandering the house trying to find something to occupy his time. He’d wandered into his step-father’s study and there on the examination tray was a deceased frog pinned on it’s back, limbs splayed like Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” with it’s belly sliced open. Sebastian had cried and pouted over that for several days and had given Demetrius the silent treatment for even days longer intermixed with spells of arm crossing, head turning and the occasional stuck out tongue and blown raspberry. He cringed at the thought even now.
The hinges creaked as he pushed the front door open and paused. The summer was starting to give way to autumn and the parched ground soaked up the rain and turned loose the pungent, almost overpowering scent of petrichor.
Sebastian flipped the hood of his pull-over around his head and tightened up the drawstrings. He took a moment to smell the aroma of wet grass and earth that drifted through the air and held the fragrance in his lungs as he closed the door behind him.
He began his slow, steady march toward the beach and lost count of his steps after he’d passed the old Community Center. He’d barely noticed the changing of terrain under his feet as he moved almost subconsciously toward the ocean. The raw, muddy dirt paths of the mountain, the crunch of rough stones and shuffle of old, dead pine needles that carpeted the ground… They’d transitioned into the grass and cobblestone of the town plaza at some point, but they all seemed to blend together into “just steps” after a while. His inner thoughts distracted him to the point where he barely paid attention to his surroundings until he felt his footfalls sinking and shifting underneath him, and he knew he’d hit sand. He heaved a deep sigh of the salt air and looked over the horizon as he paced toward the docks.
When the sky was this gray and muted, the color of the sea seemed to take on it’s own jewel-like quality and without the blue sky to draw attention away from it, the eyes of each breaking wave became a splendor to watch. They erupted into columns of aquamarine, sapphire and sodalite laced with the bright, almost pearlescent white of the sea foam before curling over, crashing into the tides and giving way to the next one.
Sebastian came to a stop at the furthest reaching section of the wood panels and straightened up his posture as he groped into his pockets for the pack of cigarettes he’d brought with him. He selected one from the box, tucked it between his teeth and plunged his fingers back into the pocket for his lighter. He curled his left hand in front of his face, to protect the fire from the wind, flicked open the lid and thumbed the igniter. The flint sparked into a flame as it spun and lit up the end of the cigarette to a smoldering red glow. He pulled in a breath and held it for a moment before letting it out and watching the smoke dance away in the wind. It still wasn’t quite as satisfying as that first breath of rain when he’d stepped out of the house. Another sigh escaped Seb’s lips as he stared back at the oncoming crests of seawater and his mind started to drift again.
He imagined the city lights blazing somewhere across the ocean like stars, and thought about starting over somewhere far away. Disappearing, and reappearing somewhere else like a shadow moving through fragments of darkness and light, somewhere where no one knew him. Just vanishing and leaving everything behind. His parents, his sister, his friends… the thought excited him for a moment, before giving way to an intense feeling of regret and sadness. Maybe even a little shame. Having everyone was frustrating, but would having none of them be better or worse? He’d never known anything else. The same friends he’d grown up with, the same smell of the changing seasons in the mountain air, the same four walls of his bedroom, the sound of his sister’s laugh, or the taste of his mother’s cooking… even the way his stepfather overreacted to the littlest things was something he'd grown used to. He took another long breath.
The waves lapped and pounded at the underside of the dock so loudly he couldn’t hear the patter of oncoming footfalls against the wood and he was caught unaware when a sudden presence made itself known.
“Hey.” The start was enough to make him tense up, and he almost tripped over his own feet. Seb whirled around and when he found himself face to face with the farmer, he relaxed again.
“You scared the absolute crap out of me…..” He said as he rolled his eyes. He flicked his thumb against the filter of the cigarette to knock away the ashes and looked over the docks. They were alone.
“Sorry….” There was an awkward moment of silence between the two of them before Sebastian tried to force conversation.
“What are you up to out here?” He asked. He wasn’t really interested in the answer, but felt obligated to return the acknowledgement of his presence. The farmer held up the rod that was firmly clasped in their right hand and gestured to the ocean.
“Fishing!” Seb raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at the response.
“In the rain?” he asked. His tone was almost dismissive. The farmer nodded.
“Willy said that there’s a number of fish that only come out when it’s raining, so I wanted to see what bites.” They began. “Some fish just like it better this way I guess.” There was another long pause. “…and you?”
“Hanging out…” Seb shrugged and adjusted the collar of his hoodie.
“In the rain?” The irony of the retort wasn’t lost on either of them though only the farmer seemed to find it amusing.
“Some people just like it better this way too…” Seb declared as he shifted his posture and crossed his arms over his chest. “I like to come out here where it’s quiet and have some alone time with my own thoughts.” There was a brief moment of guilt when Sebastian realized that he hadn’t actually ever bothered to ask the farmer’s name, but his introverted nature snubbed it out pretty quickly.
“Well, if you’re out here for some alone time, I won’t keep bothering you. I’ll go find a spot to fish and leave you to it.” At least they could take a hint. The farmer turned to leave and Sebastian suddenly regretted the entire conversation. Maybe he came off as cold and bristly? Either way, they hadn’t meant any harm. Just engaging in basic pleasantries. He found himself compelled to say something else just so the conversation wouldn’t end on such a sour note, then the thought of the flying figure and the appearance of the strange egg in the farmer’s coop a while back suddenly popped into his head.
“Wait….” Sebastian flicked away the spent cigarette and stamped it out with the toe of his shoe before he continued. The farmer turned back in his direction. “I was just curious… do you remember what happened a couple of weeks ago? The night that… thing… flew over Pelican Town?” The farmer’s eyes narrowed and they nodded slowly. “That was the night that strange egg just showed up in your chicken coop, right?” The farmer looked bewildered. Seb chuckled soundlessly when he realized that, for at least a moment, he was acting like the epitome of some small town country boy who was nosing into someone else’s business. The farmer was likely confused because they hadn’t spoken to Sebastian about it directly. How could he know about that? They didn’t have to ask before he preemptively put the question to rest. “I was in the saloon playing pool with Sam the night after it happened. I overheard you talking about it with Gus, Willy and uh- …Rapunzel.” He explained. A tiny snort escaped the farmer’s nose as they stifled a laugh and they nodded again.
“Right… I still don’t know where it came from.” They rested the handle of the fishing pole on the dock like a staff or walking stick and looked up at the sky as if they were contemplating something. “I don’t know if the egg had anything to do with the flying figure, or if it was just a coincidence… they did both appear on the same night.”
“Everyone in town says that the flying thing was probably just some weird bird heading toward the islands…” Seb droned. He shoved his hands into his pockets to sooth the chill in his fingers. “If that IS where the egg came from, then maybe it was just a bird…” The farmer briskly shook their head before they answered.
“No, I don’t think so.” They rested a hand on their hip, fidgeted with the line strung through the fishing rod and seemed to gaze off into the distance towards the island in question. “That wouldn’t make sense considering what hatched.” Sebastian’s head snapped upright to meet their gaze. Now this was getting interesting.
“It actually hatched?!” He piped as his eyes widened inquisitively. “What was it?”
“A chicken…. And those can’t fly long distances.” The farmer chortled as they watched Sebastian’s face droop back to some semblance of apathy. He looked mildly disappointed.
“Aww…. Well that’s kind of anticlimactic.” He groaned.
“Yeah, sorry it’s not more exciting than that…” There was a sudden gust of wind and both of them had to brace against the pelting of raindrops that came with it. “It is a pretty peculiar looking chicken, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Really?... How so?” He gazed back at them expectantly and waited for them to go into detail.
“The feathers are jet black and the comb and wattles have a bit of an odd shape to them. The eyes are also bright red, like an animal with albinism and they’re almost reflective in the dark too… like a cat’s eyes.” They paused and rested their hand over the lower half of their face as if they were taking a moment to recall more of the specifics to memory. “And there’s just something about the way it clucks.” They added. “It doesn’t really cluck like a normal hen, but it sounds more like… an echo of a cluck, I suppose.”
“What?....” Sebastian laughed as his expression shifted again. The description of the noise sounded completely ridiculous. Not a cluck, but an echo of a cluck? They may as well have likened it to a phantom voice or the cry of a specter. Something that eluded the range of sounds that most humans would ever have the chance or perception to experience. The farmer lifted their eyes back to Sebastian’s as if they’d suddenly remembered something else.
“She started laying eggs a couple of days ago. They look just like the one that appeared in the coop that night…” They let the fishing pole drop from their hand to the wood planking of the dock and slipped their arm out of the left strap of their backpack. “I actually have one with me if you want to see it….” They slid the other strap off of their shoulder and swung the bag around their right side, letting it come to a rest in front of them as they knelt down. Seb took a few steps closer and stooped to get a better look as they dug through the contents.
They gingerly grasped what looked like a tiny bundle wrapped in a kerchief and began to slowly peel away the corners of the fabric, exposing what was probably the most bizarre looking egg he’d ever seen in his life. It was black and somewhat glossy, unlike the calcified matte shells of most chicken eggs, and the surface seemed to be covered in tiny indents or fissures that exposed flecks of a bright, almost luminescent red underneath. The farmer held the egg out to Sebastian as they stood up straight and nodded, silently offering to let him hold it for a closer look. He gently cupped the egg in his hands, tucked his arms in close to his body and cradled it in his palms like a cautious child trying to hold a hamster. It was heavier than he’d expected it to be, and surprisingly warm.
The color reminded him of magma or hot coals. Something like the intense heat glowing through crackling obsidian after a volcanic eruption or a dying fire. He leaned his head even closer to the egg as he examined the texture of the shell, and his nose wrinkled a bit when he caught the scent. It was sulphurous, and almost earthy smelling, but not overpoweringly so.
“It’s not rotten, is it?” he asked as he gently turned the egg over in his hands.
“See, that’s the strange thing about it. It can’t be…. That egg was just laid this morning.” They explained. “All of the eggs that hen lays have that… little whiff of something burning to them.” The rain was starting to slow up a bit. The farmer thought for a moment and giggled at the notion of what they said next. “I’m not inclined to say that they’re edible either… at least, not to people, and I wouldn’t be keen on being the first one to test that.” Sebastian winced at the thought…and smell, and stifled a laugh.
“Me neither…” He smiled softly when the red speckled pattern caught his attention again. “It does look really cool though!”
He really did have a nice smile. It was kind of a shame that he didn’t let people see it more often. His eyes brightened, and his face looked softer and more approachable, yet also, inquisitive and curious. It was a look of fascination and wonder. Like a kid who’d just discovered dinosaurs and outer space for the first time, or someone who’d just felt their first taste of freedom and didn’t quite know what to do with it. An imaginative or inspired sort of expression.
“Since you like it so much, why don’t you hang onto it?” the farmer beamed.
“Can I?” Sebastian’s eyes lit up again and he gazed back at the farmer with a delighted look on his face.
“Sure! Hens lay eggs every day or so. There’ll be more before long!” they chimed. Sebastian chuckled as he curled his fingers about the egg and sheltered it from the rain.
“Thank you!” He gazed at it for a few moments more as the farmer hefted the rucksack back onto their shoulders and pulled the fishing rod from it’s resting place on the dock. “Hey, this might sound kind of stupid….” He began as he gazed back and forth between the farmer and his new prize… “But, do you think it’ll hatch if I put it under my pillow?” he laughed awkwardly at his own question when he realized how foolish it must have sounded, but was pleasantly surprised when the farmer’s response was more optimistic than he had expected.
“Umm, I don’t know… Maybe! It’s worth a try anyway, and stranger things have happened.”
“Only one way to find out I guess!” Sebastian said smiling in anticipation.
“Good luck! You’ll have to let me know what happens!” They scanned out over the tides as if looking for something before turning back to Sebastian. “I should hurry and find a spot to fish before the rain stops again, but it was really nice talking to you!”
“Yeah, you too!” Seb agreed. “I’ll see you later!” He distracted himself for a moment, making sure the egg was tucked away safe and warm in his hoodie pocket, when he suddenly realized something. “Hey, wait!...” he quickly turned back to where the farmer had been standing just a minute before, but by the time he’d remembered what he’d needed to ask, they’d already trotted too far out of earshot to be able to hear him. “Aw, man… I forgot to catch their name again.” He lamented. “I’ll have to remember to ask them next time… Next time for sure.”

I’m sort of having a breakdown. My husband wants more kids and I don’t. We have a one year old and I’m content. When we were dating I said I’d want multiple but after going through a terrible postpartum experience I do not. I’m the only one that takes care of our now one year old. Meaning if I even ask my husband to change a diaper he throws a fit… even on Mother’s Day. If getting my tubes tied was possible I would’ve done it yesterday. He’s going to ask his dr about a vasectomy but doesn’t want one. He said, “what if something happens to you and I want more kids later.” Really makes a girl feel special. I’m open to maybe adopting if I want another one but I really don’t. I know that I’ll be the one that everything falls to. TBH I’m concerned that he’ll try to force it on me. I’ve talked about counselling but he doesn’t want to. Our sex life is nonexistent because I’m paranoid and it makes him mad. If I knew this was how it was going to be I wouldn’t have married him. Any advice on how to handle this?

I have a ton of unused feeding tube supplies (60ml syringes, lubricant, gauze, etc) and multiple unexpired cans of Duocal, plus a ton of diapers for a person who is around 50-60lbs that I am looking to donate. My daughter's nursing agency no longer accepts donations. Where is the best place in the area to donate these items?

He turned 3 and turned into a monster. I love him dearly but he has been a handful.
Here’s todays run down
He wakes up at 10am. He starts immediately throwing a phone at me wanting me to play train videos. He hits me and kicks me until I give in as I hold the baby she is 6 months old and strapped to me. I am defenseless and he knows it. He got into my make up and ran off with a piece once I got the chance to have my hands free and drew all over himself and the walls before I could catch him.
He throws fits all day for different YouTube videos if I don’t give in I get the hitting kicking biting and screaming. He throws things at me. He will even slap me in the face and try to hurt the baby. He once scratched her face when I thought he was going to try to touch her gently he was even smiling when he did it. He didn’t even seem in a bad mood. He is always trying to wake and hit the baby.
He took his diaper off tonight after the park and smeared poop all over my bed and his dad he ran into the room after following me to the kitchen quickly snuck it off stomped it into the floor and grabbed some and did this. He left a car in the smashed poop he had in his hand. He runs from me at nearly every diaper change and hides with poop all over him. It’s a nightmare.
He got mad again it is now 1130 he hasn’t napped at all he refuses. If we try to relax at all he dictates everything we watch. He threw toys at us screaming train wanting Thomas and train on our tv. We literally can’t sit still without him throwing fits wanting even the tv. He just threw a sandal at his dad. He is never ending energy and melt downs.
On the way home from the park I asked him to hold my hand on the walk home and he ran and ran as fast as he could up the sidewalk away from us. His dad had to chase him down. He then kicked and screamed once he picked him up.
He is breastfed with his sister. He gets a very healthy diet. He is just in a rough spot. 13+ hours of this is insanity. What melatonin dose has anyone used for an over tired behavior prone kiddo? He then wakes up after a few hours with night terrors and will hit and scream and freak out like he is possessed. He won’t sleep alone I’ve always had him with me he’s very close to me. In order to sleep we remove every light everything and sometimes not even this works and he will just jump on the bed or hit at us and freak out until we give in because he will otherwise wake the baby.
Don’t get me wrong he is a terror but has his nice moments where he hugs me and says he loves me. He cuddles with me between fits so long as he has his phone on train and car videos he will be chill usually. It’s my only savior I cannot take the phone for the sake of screen time limits it’s survival rn with the baby and this behavior of his. I’m alone most of the day with him.

-- I just kinda wrote down how i'm feeling at the moment. I made it in the style of a story. But it's the best way i can get it out. Sorry it is long. Just read it. That's all I ask. --
I don’t know what I’m doing. For the better part of 10 years, my entire adult life, I’ve never known what it is that I’m trying to accomplish. Am I doing the right thing by dedicating all my time to my work? What do I consider my work? Is it my actual job that pays me biweekly? Or is it my job as a father... or maybe it’s my major at university? Whatever it is, it’s never enough. Life is supposed to be fulfilling and right now, I can’t tell the difference between fulfilling and life-sucking. Distractions scratch an itch but have never satisfied my hunger.
Enough complaining, let me tell you what I do on a daily basis. My day starts at 6 AM. Why? Because I’m a slave to the corporate machine. But that’s a story for another day. Work ends around 4 PM if things go the way they should, and often they don’t. My commute home usually takes 30 to 45 minutes due to the ignorant shipyard traffic that consumes every road, freeway, and dirt road. Hundreds of moron drivers that create a ghost of a traffic jam. It’s now 5 PM. I’m free. Respite from retail hell. From the public. I’m alone. At least for now. What’s next? Dinner, dishes, workout, or relax? God knows relaxing isn’t a real option. Working out? No thanks, I’ve been on my feet for 10 hours. Dinner will get me yelled at by my family if I pick the wrong thing to eat, we’ll get to that later, so dishes it is! 6:30 PM. They arrive. My wife, my son, and the attitude that comes along with it. What did I do this time? Why is everyone raising their voice at me? Why do I get attitude, huffing and puffing, and whining when I ask for any kind of help? Oh, you worked for 3 hours today and your back hurts. I’m sorry. The kid has been a pain since you got home? I’m sorry. You don’t feel good? I’m sorry. Have you noticed my problem yet? Obviously, I haven’t made dinner yet. Good job thinking about other’s feelings. Worked out great.
Back in 2019, I was let go from my job. COVID was great, right? Unemployment was paying more than I made working my full-time job. I’m not going to pretend to be a good little boy and not abuse it. I did. I milked the fuck out of it. I took a leap and applied for college. My dream has always been to make video games. My life has revolved around them since I was in diapers. I signed up for a 4-year degree in game programming. Little did I know that this was just a misguided investment in my own validation.
It is now 9:00 PM, and aside from the wife and the kid asking me to come to the room every 15 minutes, I have time. Not much, but I have some. Enough. I hope… What is left that I need to do? I need to do homework. Yay. The time is now 2:00 AM. I should probably go to bed… but I’ve had absolutely zero me time. A couple YouTube videos wouldn’t hurt right? What’s the difference between 4 hours of sleep and 3 hours of sleep? Not much honestly. Some time between 2 AM and 4 AM I go to bed. Every night is different, don’t judge me.
The cycle continues. 2-4 hours of sleep, work, cleaning, yelled at, dinner, homework, repeat. For the record, that is not all I do. There are some smaller amounts of time where I spend time with my son, or I have a few minutes free to play games, or spend time with my wife. Even when I’m being judged or yelled at, I’m expected to stay calm and levelheaded. It’s my job. I’m a man, welcome. I’ve also searched for more fulfilling hobbies and that’s what comes next.
From 2015 to 2017 I was streaming on twitch. I loved every minute of it. I was growing and making real money. Then THE big event happened. My wife, my girlfriend at the time with our newborn child, and I were supposed to be moving out that weekend. I took off early from work that day to get started. I walk in the apartment. Empty. Aside from a bed in the corner of the room, a dresser, my computer, and my poor dog Bella inside a cage. I let the dog out, walked around to see what else I needed to move. I called my girlfriend, excited that she had gotten a head start on our move. If you’ve figured it out already, yes, she did. If you haven’t, she was leaving me and taking our child. This was the start of my downfall.
A lot happened between then and now. But it worked out. We got married. Almost divorced. A lot of toxicity between us. But I loved her. And I loved my son. They were, and still are, my everything. So, I stuck it out.
Enough babbling. I’m currently learning two languages to further my own personal education. Spanish and Japanese. Spanish because it’s difficult to get by in life without it, and Japanese because I am obsessed with Japan and Japanese culture, and I hope to travel to Japan someday. So, on top of everything, I’m also doing that. It takes a lot out of me.
Is that it, OP? You’re overfilling your plate… You’re going too fast, doing too much, and not living a healthy lifestyle. No. It’s not it. Here comes YouTube. No, not the videos I watch. I also make videos. The 30ish minutes I have available to play games? Yeah, I multitask and use my game time to record a video. Shameless mid story plug? You be the judge.
Some nights are spent mashing watching videos, doing homework, or relaxing with editing the videos. No one wants just a recording of some idiot playing video games. It needs quality, it needs cuts, it needs love, it needs hours…
Is it alot to some people? Yeah, and some others might say that it’s light work. It’s not good to have such little sleep. On top of the sleep apnea I already have, which makes my 2-4 hours of sleep the equivalent of 1-2 hours of sleep.
I’ve realized that I’m stuck. I’ve done way too much to give up, and I’ve done way too much to keep going. I’m financially ruined, physically destroyed, and metaphorically molested. All because I wanted something. Validation.
Take it from me. It’s not worth it. Live your life. Know your limits. Don’t seek validation.

I feel im not alone but the little one has taken to basically trash. She has crinkley toys... nah she wants the emoty wipe bag, plenty stuffed animals... nope she wants a unused diaper to play with. Has some interactive toys. No she wants a empty water bottle. New fascination being the paper towel tube.
Her other toys just throws but these will keep her busy for a while

A lot of write posts about peoples experience with their Bi-Salp helped me prepare for mine so I thought I would post about my personal experience!!
So about three years ago, I got my copper IUD placed. I didn’t want to try any hormonal birth control because I tend to be hormone imbalanced, considering I got my period when I was nine years old and I already had ovarian cyst when I was 12 I didn’t want to add to the mix. For the first two years of me having it because my wedding ended up getting postponed due to Covid January 2023, I got married started my first year with the copper IUD being actually sexually active. I always loved my IUD because of the presence of no side effects. Other than the fact that my periods were terrible my periods would fluctuate from being seven days to eight days to 14 days to 20 days long. Throughout the month, I would always spot and have random cramping and then on the day cycle or the day leading up, I was already spotting a lot.. I would take 800 mg of ibuprofen every four hours for the entirety of my period because I could not Barrett all of this medication definitely affected my gut health. Towards the fall of last year, I felt like my cycles were getting a little lighter. Finally I thought I’m about to be three years with this may be it will be regulating a little more soon even with the copper had an extreme paranoia of anxiety, but I didn’t realize how extreme my anxiety is now that this risk of getting pregnant I felt was so prevalent, even though I had a obsess over people and I didn’t use any other form of birth control like condoms because I didn’t really like how it felt. I was always paranoid sitting on the toilet for hours waiting for everything to come out not doing anything for two weeks out of the month I include my period and then my ovulation week because that would also make me more paranoid. The last few months of a light cycle I got the worst cycles I had ever gotten they lasted about three weeks with giant clotting and in general I would always be having to wear. Diapers. I would wear a diaper with a pad on the inside of it and I would go through that every hour and a half so my blood loss was intense after my cycle I would get super lightheaded and the worst part is that I have always been chronically anemic my whole life I’m also vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.. It was a perfect storm. The anemia was being affected by the IUD blood loss and then I was diagnosed with heavy menstrual hemorrhaging. so in January, I decided to go to the doctor and see if there was any other options. Still, I knew that birth-control with hormones was not some thing I wanted. I was referred to a minimally, invasive, OB/GYN surgeon, and I asked about getting a Bi-Salp. he spoke to me about the whole process, and I was very excited that day we decided to take my IUD out, which thankfully was not as painful as the torturous insertion. His plan was let’s see how my natural cycle after. Take the IUD out if my bleeding regulates and I’m not losing as much blood. Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week. 22 Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia, but by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week period to a 2 to 3 day. to 3 day period. Not even days after removing my copper IUD I felt so much relief. I felt a fullness disappear that I didn’t even realize was there in the first place and a lot of other things changed to my skin got clear and overall I felt less anxious. I believe that the copper in the IUD had been causing me some sort of copper toxicity. so after two months, I called the doctor and told him that my period had gotten better so I went back and we schedule the Bi-Salp. So I went two months without any birth control and stayed away from my husband. Lol, thankfully at the end of the two months I was able to get my surgery and a week before my surgery. I went to a regular visit with my OB and they did an ultrasound and they saw that they’re good possibly be a polyp on my uterus so when they went in to do my procedure, they also did a Oppie with to see if there was any polyps and remove the polyps that were there. They also found some cysts that they removed and I also had some endometriosis growing on my left tube and ovary thankfully they were able to remove! For the surgery and leading up to it, I stayed away away from any foods that would make me gassy and anything that would constipate me. I was drinking MiraLAX in my tea every night for the week leading up to the surgery.
Surgery day of: On the morning of the surgery, I was advised to not take my Vyvanse, which I use for anxiety and ADHD. So I skipped it and just drink water since I have been fasting since 10 PM the night before. When I arrive to the hospital, I was able to go to the bathroom thankfully and then started getting prepped for surgery. They obviously had me do a urine test and then got me set up with my IV where they would insure all of my meds this was very painful, but I sat and waited before I was feeling loopy. They gave me the anti-stress and anxiety medication before they administered the anesthesia and suddenly I was knocked out. All I remember is walking into the surgery room and thinking wow this is like Grey’s Anatomy and then knocking out next thing, I remember I wake up in the room and I am very groggy and out of it. Thankfully, the anesthesia did not cause nausea. The hardest part during this transition was getting me to pee because I kept wanting to fall asleep so badly but they kept telling me if I didn’t pee then I wouldn’t be able to go home to finally sleep so I was bloated and swollen And I finally peed the second time. After that, I was discharged and my family did a great job at trying to keep me awake while we drove home because I was asleep in the car that could get nauseous and throw up, which would hurt my belly from making those kind of movements. Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the pain from the gas pain from the laparoscopic surgery. This pain was definitely intense and it progressed my worst day was the day after the surgery. But that same night after the surgery was difficult because I could not find any position where I was comfortable. I was taking Gas-X every two hours charcoal pills every two hours and ibuprofen and Tylenol alternated every four hours. They gave me OXY if I wanted to take it, but I never did because I didn’t wanna get constipated and I really didn’t feel any pain that the oxy could resolve pain medication does not resolve gas pain. First night I slept propped up with a lot of pillows around me holding my belly holding me from every position where I could put more weight to add pain to my body well, I didn’t really sleep that night, but I tried to sleep, but I rested upright on the couch and I was up maybe every hour going to pee and walking around because the best advice I could give is just walk as much as it hurts. Everything hurts with these gas pain so I feel better to be walking around in pain than to be sitting down, knowing that I’m not actually resolving any of the gases that is the only way the gases will escape your body. That was exhausting because I could not sleep as much as I wanted to. the day was extremely painful trapped in my ribs. It felt like someone had a split my ribs but again I had no tenderness or soreness in my abdomen no cramping anything like that. I complain the most and the most uncomfortable part of everything was just being very very bloated and not being able to suck in my stomach. I’m naturally a very thin person so having my stomach was frustrating because none of my clothes fit me comfortably. The bloating started from the top of my rib cage all the way down. But I kept up with charcoal pills and Gas-X, and I’m thinking the charcoal definitely help because I would notice a difference after taking that even more so than the Gas-X. I finally was able to go to the bathroom after the surgery and thankfully it was a smooth transition to going into the bathroom. I’m sure the MiraLAX helped because of that and I had hardly been eating because my stomach was so swollen and were so severe that even one bite of food in my stomach would make everything swell up even more and it it would hurt me. So those first few days I kept it very light. The second night after the surgery was another miserable night. I almost cried that night because I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I hadn’t slept or napped all day because the pain would prevent me from being able to rest in a comfortable position and then all night again, I did not sleep, those were the hardest 2 nights. The following day I saw a tiny bit of progress with the gas pain. But eventually, I think I got used to it by Saturday surgery having been Monday. I felt significantly better still very swollen but better. Sunday I left the house for the first time got ready put normal clothes on. The loosest clothes that I had. And that was nice to finally leave the house and try to do something normal, came back and was definitely exhausted and rested for the rest of the day by this point I was no longer taking any pain medication. Just the charcoal pills. By Monday I was feeling significantly better. I had gotten my cycle over the weekend and it was not a very painful cycle. Just a little bit of mild cramping and bleeding but nothing crazy on Wednesday. I had my follow up appointment a week and a half after surgery and I was cleared for all activity and just told to be careful with how heavy things are when I lift them to stay away from anything more than 30 pounds. I had sex for the first time in three months because of the fact that I had no birth control before my surgery for those two months when they had taken my IUD out. It was a little bit painful because my body had gotten used to sex and no penetration at all. Very quickly my bodygot used to it again. And I enjoyed it so much. I was scared to have an orgasm because I had heard online that some people complained of cramping after the orgasm, but I had no cramping at all only enjoyment. The fact that I was able to do everything I wanted without any anxiety that I would get pregnant without having to do anything to prevent that was liberating and it literally has improved my sex life incredibly and just the short amount of time today I am 2 1/2 weeks postop. And I feel great. My incisions are healing really well and I’m about to start using scar tape for the scars. I have barely any gases. My stomach is as flat as it normally is, and I’ve been feeling wonderful. The only thing I noticed after my surgery was a little bit of breaking out right after the surgery, but they said that that was normal since a lot of the drugs and medicine they put into your system for surgery is basically detoxing after you come out of surgery so it comes out of your body in different ways. I do not regret this surgery. It has completely changed my mindset towards life. I feel free finally. I’m sure my age has a lot to do with my recovery time and overall I’m a very sickly person for my age so I was expecting for this recovery to take me weeks to months, but I am feeling wonderful. I’m about to be the maid of honor for a wedding this Friday and I feel no restraint and dancing or anything of this sort. I’m grateful I didn’t get any soreness or pain in my abdomen after the surgery and that all I had to deal with was the severe gas pain. I know that is not everyone’s experience, but that was mine and I’m very happy with it. Just wanted to share some details on how everything went and hopefully this can be helpful to someone. Thankfully, my insurance covered most of the procedure and all I had to pay was $1,500. I have never been happier with a decision in my life.

Anblitonoimz has four or five tongues, four mouths & five or em.
Th's firstsnd mouth urinaes fortso does "Coffee of a lifetime" Hes sputters, slurping up a cup of that good mud. "Splots dreams in thirty of our microwaves".
Ambipzonnzi doesn't cipher. "Let 's get born & roll down the hill, We get born & roll down the hill" His fourth one shoots ,in south-east yardings
"yearlong coffee beans, coffee plant. papa nu guineaa. Honduras. Lofty without a saddle". a third mouth wisses out sorta westishly through heavy phlegm
He twists to explore "Learn to drive, learn to walk. Crawl from town to town Babe. Crawl on all four wheel & kKaww like a Bird" anbipozond's mouth smacks on
"No point in crying over spillt milk"
"You keep saying that!". his northeast mote swirls in southwestard recounts
Eeps
from elswhere "Every auction is just the loudest, Heather". else now mutters a funnel with propose. "houses are birds with fourty wheels on a similar day". Insteebchlo raises his hand with a smile eager to answer the daily question. he starts to wave as he catches the attensions.
Noesteeblichavl has houses for heads, he sstarts jittering. "Your eyes are windows, someone needs to clean your windows. Your house is a head. Clean your windows off annd surprise the neighbors dog!" ... "hello"
"you're not driving to my off-grid parasite with that attitude". Ampliurpoznenzi shuffles his gums ,Crawling down the asphalt road on his hands & knees proudly. He might think he is an entrepreneur for a while or aprehend himselgf as an connoisseur forwhile.
"oh drink gasoline lika subaru" oensteeblih tweeks
"I've an appotite to put my teeth to the curb!" Ambeplerznz snaps & gnashes at houses
his foldy gob norths "One step at a time! Learn to crawl, Learn to walk, Buy some land babe, heyhow does much a hotel cost hahh".
"CAWWW" Apmliurpozoenzi's mouth makes a bird noise. having a bite yer own ear off & spit it at the coroner day.
"I think you will drink gasoline like my aunties subaru" houses heads repeats.
"Bvrruuuummmm" Ampliurpoznenzi's mouth does the car noise now. He's going somewhere, past the speed limit ,another four kilometers & he is gonna need his diaper change. Better get his wallet ready.
"You slurp gasoline, like ants in a subaru" Noesteeblo 'peats. Amblurdozinnzi pops into more civilized bucket. the house curls into a smile now. "look at youu!, you've become such a confident driver now!".
"C'mon, don't be so hard on yourself" Abemlurdozonz mremarks vaclantly. "So I could wear your face? Is it losing it's grisps on reality in here or me?"
Nostlible smeoes to him "Bro you okay?"
.....
"Ye get born into like machine & fall through like pachinko scottlander" . "Offered five things strange for new emergant traditions"
"Third tape recorder to the rotting egg translates the scripture, we're all just pachinko machines rolling down a hill arn't we?"
sorta just sautering around, peaking in through all the windows in the neighborhood, he's a freak tapping on the glass. Abmlorznonza is trying to climb into the garbage disposal, he wants to become ground beef or he wants to arrive to a wedding.
"Hey Do ies Yoeur Reaelity Okaey?". he mutters himself
Abamorbzonenz's large nose covers the porch in snot. He is smashed in through the windows. everything covered in snot. Dissassembles Th' Constructiom. "everything is covered in snot!!" He complains! "I SAID SEASAW. I SAID". Seasaw
...
"Highly Functional we are. Violences with the earthly gravitations ,Maneuvers to gnaw your tongue away at the glory hole ssir". Houses for heads whispers easy to his parole officer
.....
Ablimurzozna is inside the building, meeting all the wacky charicatures, really looking for something to snack on
"snooze on the cheesblock wiyhth a thousant feet of square areah". Zimberly's gonna need to fester up if she's gonna make it out of here alive.
-"come into my villa? withyer 6,000 foot long arms? I'll teach you the mannerisms" she stand combative with a toaster under her arm, holding the plug in her other hand.
The kitchen fatefuly occupied, Ablimzundz rushes square around & through down hallway, he drips the sweat "round nor square corners, I'm deduction points" his bin echoes offa chair in the passing.
... "I'm not just a petting zoo, I'm also a boarding school for chiropractory on the week-ends". Chochizialule snides from a toilet room "I pay money here"
Ambliuoznenzai screams, he begins to shrivel up & become hairy. "lettuce beef union, where did you go? lettuce beef onion. ".
"Let Us ..decode your one dimensoinal braine". presences Noestivbyuchevlo
another charicature interrups "I PLACED THE EYE INSIDE OF TJE HEAD & THE HEAD ON TOP OF THE BODY". Martin chimes over the loudspeaker. feeling like an eyeball inside of the tube today. just like all other days. an irreversible sense of time "I think I'll industrial my furnishments enjoy & pass out" He obviously has the plans.
"Do Not Touch Me". the subaru won't calm down.
"ellen my knuckle jelly is swearing. Juxtapose penguin my knuckle. Whatever fucking. My justice system swears at me."
Garvezetozald nouts at he,
"I can't relax. I'm on chameleon because my eyes move on their own. Indipendently from one anobther. " Amprulpozanzi won't shut up or he wouldn't
Nestavloblica tries to comprehend or understand "Autism is also a bell of god? Hey! Slow Down! Howhy are you aging so rapidly , in this metal bucket over here?"
Ampeliuropoznnz's wheels berate" DONN'T TOUCH MEE. I SAAID DONN'T TOUCHH MEE". He revs it!
"Hold it! Give your skin prison!" Windows for eyes shudders urgently. "Take me to your northern hemisphere! okay? okay?!"
Theres multiples of them
"No you No youKnow what You know you could Use?" they all say in unison
"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ambluboznecviblo screams in whemchever direction heis headed ?
windows for nostrils speaks out loud "wel A well balanced curriculum would be dandy for starters".
Garvezetozald escorts ambinzopnonzor back to the pave "aluminum foil, very shiny in your bank deposit you know, But don't listen to me. Why would I fucking say anything ". He grumbles the offput as retreating it back inside.
ambilurbonznenance isnot having it. He's murking off in the anger pavement shoes. "Don't change the subject, I know you're hiding things from me".
Ambilerbeentsli "shiny aluminum foil heaps in my bank deposit". out of a different mouth or head after that whatever it said
.............................
intrusion layering dish. splattered withe batter. "Undetermined. loosely your own imagines, or yourself into they inretrospective periphany? who are you defying here? I did I hear (that right)?"
"I said build your little hhouse outthere, and& record yourf fairy shit, I stabbed you really hard with the fork" sends the not know says "yeah buddy, nascar teeth better be stoppin in to be stoppin tobe takina pittstop stop inn" Heaps he "STOP IT ,STOPP STIP. STOP IN THEs PIT FOR A STOP NOWW"
"are you been taking all oyour supplements skin-jaw pirate attorney?". eyuunNoesteblijhavwl Creoaks to the fiend
Pramblestabhon starts talk about lands all sorts and Louis Vuitton" We drop him off atthe nearest station
Scubs scenfen fenhinit. The cold touch of a stranger.
"Shd diedent mean to sdo that withe her subaru" "make the fuzzy worls ceawl owt but were notbhgoana takklk to you. Beat toyojar head with thea hmmm
The dufuzzys crawl out of the brain spot "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" Ambliubyonzunzi blares. He is crying the tears. "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" A second mouth of he shouts as well joins in.
"eyebrows, eyebrows jaws & toes, heavy finger-slips. uprightnowyou. Our gene pool is speaking~ (????) & having remained focused on the road this whole time"
...
"ofcourse We want gimberly to fall asleep at the wheel, make it look like it was an accident" Ampliunornzi agrees with himself "We want this we want that we want nothing more for ourselves" He's done & settled but restless & jiving. He keeps on driving, he worrys somedaybody will cut his brakes for him.
"No I think You betetetetter get onto bed on time " Noestelevblilpo bleyowabs abashed "sleep onfor more decades?, crawl on this earth, listen to the musics of the centuries?" nietstravlo attemptates their reconciel
Ampliupzinzunzi agleams unto the sedatiea. relloxed . enloungicated Dormitoitory. Parked something or other an a benchpt he rwests "If we don't chop uff all of the limbs then don'T throW uP on TimE." it complains. something seperate &.. he produces a small thermos from his (cupholder)
Ambliornuunzi Takes another sip of this coffee. He rolls the liquid around his tongue & swishes it in his mouth before hes swellow. "Brazil, Ecuador" He feels the longitude, He feeles the latitude, the coordinates of the bean. "South america, central america, yeah, You can taste it". The bitter wash is guzzled before it's swallowe. Amiburzobowenzanzha Licks it's teeth and gums. Functional piss distillery. With gusto he announce "Brazil, we need go to Brrazziill eyah". starts he runningh & He trips & smashes one of his mouths into the curb, If had he a tongue from there off bitten would it have been but lucky him, only smashing his teeth to scream & writhe.

If you're interested in baby registry boxes but don't know which one to try or how to even sign up for them I have some info for you here! I got boxes/bags from Target, Walmart, Amazon, Hey Milestone, Babylist, and Similac and I'm still waiting for a box from Enfamil. I'm not an influencer or someone paid by these companies I just really like surprise boxes of stuff. I have pictures but I don't know how to add them. Anyway onto the lists.
Target:
How to get: This appears to have changed recently. According to target.com you join the Target Circle rewards, create a baby registry, add 10 items, and spend $10 from registry (either yourself of someone else). You have to pick up the bag in store with a barcode they give to you and it can be somewhat difficult to get since supplies are limited. When I did this in March all I had to do was create a registry and then go to the store to pick up the bag.
Items:
1 Philips Avent Natural Bottle
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
2 pack sample of Millie Moon Diapers
16 count sample of Huggies Natural Care wipes
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 count sample if Boogie Wipes
1 sample of Dreft scent booster for laundry
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Dapple bottle and dish soap
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 sample of Auqaphor baby ointment
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Triple Paste diaper rash cream
All coupons are through Target Circle rewards
Walmart:
How to Get: Sign up for a registry at Walmart. Click this link https://walmart.cesampling.com/babybox/soldout and fill out the form and it would be shipped to you for free. Unfortunately these boxes have been sold out since last year but maybe they will restock. I only got one because my OB’s office gave it to me at my first appointment. You’re not missing much by not getting one.
Items:
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
16 count sample pack of Huggies Natural Care Wipes
1 sample of Arm & Hammer baby laundry detergent
1 sample bottle of Johnson’s head to toe wash and shampoo
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 pack of milestone month cards
Insert cards (not coupons) for Gerber, WaterWipes, Liquid IV, Aquaphor, and Arm & Hammer
Amazon:
How to Get: Have an Amazon prime account. Create a baby registry. Add 10 items to your baby registry. Purchase $10 worth of items from registry (either yourself or someone else). Wait for the items to ship and then add the baby welcome box to your shopping cart. There should be a $35 coupon applied when you go to checkout.
1 Newborn Swaddle size 36in x 36in
1 Amazon Essentials 3-6 month onesie
1 Mam Anti-Colic Bottle and Pacifier set
1 Bessie's Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
50% off coupon for Shutterfly
10% off coupon for Amazon Essentials (items must be from a list compiled by Amazon)
$20 off coupon for Tylenol Smart check digital ear scope
$200 off Factor meal delivery service
Inserts (not coupons) for Palmers, Aquaphor, Baby Breeza, Mam bottles/pacifers
A card booklet with ideas for the registry
Hey Milestone:
How to Get: Hey Milestone is not a registry. They make three different baby boxes you can choose from and you just pay shipping. If you’re considering multiple boxes it’s best to get them all at once because the shipping will be cheaper. Shipping for one was $12.99. I only got one, the pregnancy box, so I can't tell you what you may expect from the other two. Check them out here: https://www.heymilestone.com/
Items:
1 full size Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier
1 Herobility 5 oz bottle
1 sample pack of Bamba peanut butter puffs
1 Kudos diaper with 10% off coupon
1 Dr Browns pacifier
1 Nanobebe hospital go-bag kit (includes pacifier, 2 breastmilk bags, 2 nursing pads, 20% off coupon)
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 Preggie Pop
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
10 count sample pack of Zahler prenatal vitamins
1 sample of Bella B nipple butter
1 sample of Bella B cradle cap be gone shampoo
1 sample tube of Eucerin baby sunscreen
1 count sample of Jack n Jill baby gum and tooth wipes
1 nail file with info for Mother’s Milk Bank
10% off coupon for Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier from Amazon
$130 off good chop meat delivery
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
$1 off Bamba snacks
1 insert for Forsite 350 genetic testing
Babylist:
How to Get: This one is by far the most involved process. Create a registry on Babylist. Enter in your baby’s due date, you address, and first and last name. Add three items from the Babylist shop. Add three items from other stores (you can do this by putting a plug-in from the website on Chrome or Firefox. More detailed instructions on the website). Complete 40% of your registry checklist (you can do this by just checking items off yourself). Spend $30 from your registry at the babylist store (either yourself of someone else). The $30 must be spent on items from the babylist store! Once these things are done you can pay $8.95 for shipping or you can chose simple shipping and it’s free.
Items:
1 Herobility 5oz bottle
1 Philips Avent Natural bottle
1 Monica and Andy baby hat
1 Small Story 0-3 month onesie and 20% off coupon
1 Parker bib with 15% off coupon and a chance to win $200 giveaway
1 Nanobebe first pacifier
2 pack sample of Kudos diapers with 10% off coupon
2 pack sample of Healthy Baby diapers
2 pack sample of Parasol diapers
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
10 count pack of motif medical breastmilk bags and 15% off coupon
1 sample tube of Noodle & Boo body wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Noodle and Boo lotion
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Wellements probiotic and $15 off coupon
1 sample tube of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Desitin
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Bird&Be vitamins and 15% off coupon
1 sample bottle of Vivi & Bloom body wash and shampoo
2 samples of Triple Paste diaper rash ointment and $2 off coupon
Coupon for a free onesie from Oso and Me ($32 value)
Coupon for free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for a free will from Trust & Will
Coupon for free Swaddle from Little Unicorn
1 insert for babylist health for information on free breast pumps
Similac:
How to Get: Sign up to my Similac rewards at https://www.similac.com/rewards.html . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use though and don't put in your phone number.
Items:
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care formula
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care Sensitive formula
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for 1 free session at JC Penny portraits and 1 free 8 x 10 print
Coupons for $50 off Similac formula (They will send more in the mail once you use these)
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
Coupon for 50% off Shutterly
Coupon for $20 off Lovevery play kits
Coupon for $3 off Pedialyte
A collection of 12 gift cards to places I’ve never heard of ranging from $60-$30
Enfamil:
How to get:
Sign up for Enfamil Beginnings at https://www.enfamil.com/baby-formula-coupons-samples/ . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use and don’t put in your phone number. I’m still waiting on my Wonder Box to come. They tend to ship close to your due date so I may get it soon.
Overall thoughts: I enjoyed the fun of going through the boxes to see what I got. The Walmart one is no great loss to anyone not able to get one. I was disappointed with the Amazon one because I expected it to be a bit better based on what others had gotten. Plus I didn’t get the Dude Wipes people were getting and I was looking forward to them lol. The Babylist box was the best of the bunch, which is good considering the hoops you have to jump through to get it. Hey Milestone was great for the butt paste and bottle alone. I was also really pleased with the Target bag. These are just the things I got and each box/bag may be different.

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

• EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
• If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
• Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
• Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
• Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
• Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
• My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

• List of questions to ask your doctor
• Insurance Information and ID
• Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
• Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

• Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
• Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
  • Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
  • Device Chargers
  • Medications that you currently take
  • Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
  • An extra pair of underwear
  • Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
  • Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
  • Non wired bra
  • Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
  • Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
  • Toothbrush and tooth paste
  • Hairbrush
  • Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

1. Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
2. I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
3. Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
4. If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
5. Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
6. Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
7. Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

1. Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
2. Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
3. Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
4. They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
5. If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
6. You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
7. Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
8. You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
9. They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

• You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
• Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
• Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
• Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
• Make sure someone brings you home after :)
• Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
• Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
• Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
• Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
• Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
• Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
• Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
• Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

1. Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
2. Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
3. Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
4. Diet/Exercise:
   1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
   2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
   3. Chamomile for relaxation
   4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
5. Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
6. Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
7. Medications/Supplements:
   1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
   2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
   3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
   4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
   5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
8. Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
9. Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
10. TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
11. Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
12. Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
13. Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
14. Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
15. Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
16. Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
17. Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
18. Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
19. Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
20. Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
21. Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!