Just need to vent for a moment.
I bought my 2017 Volt brand new in March 2017. No complaints. I absolutely love the car. Anyway, mid-January I get a “Propulsion Power Reduced” message on my dash along with a check engine light. I bring it to the dealership right away and it’s diagnosed as:

FOUND A LOT OF CODES. ALL CODES ARE ON THE SAME CIRCUIT AND THE FUSE IS BLOWN ON UNDER HOOD FUSE #3. FOUND EGR VALVE IS SHORTED INTERNALLY. RECOMMEND STARTING WITH REPLACING EGR VALVE.

They tell me they don’t have the EGR valve in stock right then but they placed an order and it should come in the next day. I get a call the next day telling me what many of you already know: They made a mistake and the part is actually on back-order. I ask what the wait time might be and am told “anywhere from a week to several months” — I.e., they don’t know. I ask if the car can be driven and they said I risked engine damage. My Volt is my only car, so I ask for a loaner. They told me it will be $50 a day. I declined.
I decided to do some research. Find out the EGR valve has been on back-order for over two years. Uh oh.
Two weeks pass. I’m getting rides to/from places from my partner, parents, etc. It’s a mild inconvenience but I’m in a privileged position that I know people who can help me out. I read that cleaning the EGR valve can actually fix the problem is some cases. I should have made the connection from the quote above that “SHORTED INTERNALLY” meant my problem was electrical, but I found a neighborhood mechanic who was willing to clean the valve for free. Obviously, it didn’t do anything.
We’re at about 3.5 weeks out now. While I’m dealing with getting my EGR valve cleaned, my dad offers to contact GM for me. He runs his own business and is pretty savvy when it comes to navigating these situations, so I let him go ahead. We start with their generic customer service number and are initially told that we need to wait a minimum of two more weeks before they will escalate. My dad pushes back, and they promise us that they will escalate to their parts acquisition team who will check their national network for the part. A week later we get a call back — they couldn’t find an EGR valve anywhere in the country. They would now check worldwide.
We’re at over a month out from the issue being diagnosed now, and my dad decides he’s going to start escalating on his own. He gets ahold of the regional manager of GM, and I don’t recall if they ever ended up having a conversation but it was basically a dead end. Now, I should clarify at this point that all I wanted was a loaner. That’s all I was looking for. Something I could use to drive to/from work myself instead of scrabbling together rides from people I knew. But I can’t afford $50/day indefinitely.
Anyway, a couple more weeks pass with no news. At this point I’m starting to look at Chinese EGR valves. Every lead is a dead end — I think I paid for three off of eBay, and without fail, each time I would get a message a couple days later with an apology from the seller that they don’t actually have the part in stock and they were issuing a refund.
Then my dad comes to me one day. “I called Mary Barra’s office.” Who’s that? “GM’s CEO.” I still have absolutely no idea how he managed to escalate my dumb EGR valve issue to the CEO, but when my dad gets determined, he doesn’t stop. My dad has a phone conversation with her assistant. He tells my dad that he will come back to us with a solution.
A week later we get the call: An assurance that the part will be entering production again “soon”, that my EGR valve will be covered under warranty, and that we should hear from the dealership soon. Sweet!
The dealership calls the next day. No, they won’t cover the repair under warranty because we don’t live in a CARB state. Furthermore, they still won’t issue me a loaner. The manager I spoke with advised me to just unplug my EGR valve and drive without it connected. I ask him if they’ll do that for me, he said that they will not and I will need to find an independent mechanic.
Turns out the EGR valve is super easy to disconnect on your own, so I just did it myself. Cool, I can drive my car again with the caveat that I keep an eye on the engine coolant temperature. Not ideal going into summer, but whatever. It’s now April. We’re getting ~weekly updates of “no news” from Mary Barra’s assistant.
The assistant called my dad again today, and my dad finally had enough. The assistant opened with that there’s no update about the part. My dad outright told him that GM should cover the repair when the part finally gets made. The guy tells my dad, “you know what, we’ll give you 10,000 Chevrolet points for each month you have to wait for the part.” So I’d have ~30,000 Chevrolet points so far. My dad asks if they can be used towards the repair. The guy says yes. My dad asks how much would that amount cover. ~$250.
Chevrolet points. You guys, I absolutely lost it when my dad told me this lmao. What the hell is a Chevrolet point. I just want a goddamn EGR valve or a loaner so that I’m not risking anything with the engine. This is the best the CEO’s office can do?
Anyway, if you need an EGR valve it doesn’t seem like we’re any closer to them restarting production than we were a few months ago when they assured me it would be “soon”. Bummer.

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

Got a spare phone line on my AT&T plan and figured, hey, why not let someone else put it to good use, right?
The Lowdown:
Plan: AT&T Unlimited Starter (yeah, it's got all the bells and whistles) Cost: $30/month (after tax, so it's roughly $35) Perks: Unlimited talk and text nationwide, perfect for keeping it local or chatting up clients. Catch: Can't cancel 'til August 2024, so it's yours till then! Need a local number for your hustle, a pop-up event, or just to keep those spam calls off your main line? I gotchu covered!
Why Pick Me? I'm just a fellow Seattleite trying to make life a bit easier for the crew. Plus, you know it's local, so you can trust it's legit!
Slide into my DMs if you're interested or wanna know more. Let's keep it chill and support each other in this rainy city!
P.S. Serious inquiries only, please. Let's keep it real.

I have a slight update, which I think I covered in another comment. My EX and his mum showed up yesterday, which is what prompted me to write this on here. I've been a lurker for ages, but I have PTSD so it kind of scares me to post and read comments, so I'm sorry, everyone, I'm not ignoring you.
I have a gate connected to my driveway with the loudest chain attached to it cause I can't afford a damn camera or alarm system. Heard it hitting the gate, I do have flood lights, so those went off, and my ex was standing on the sidewalk while his mum entered the property.
I didn't have my phone, which was dumb. I think I panicked and felt like a Muppet after. Luckily, I lived not even 2 minutes from the police station, so they showed up seeing a car parked outside, my neighbor's called them as well. My EX is quite noticeable and now known to police quite well as apparently he joined a fuckin gang. 😒
His mum and I talked for 2 seconds, and she was pretty much blasting about what a shit person I was, and I didn't really reply. I'm scared of her for one reason, her partner just got out of jail for murder and he is damn violent. So we are now packing and moving away, yeah. Cut contact with my dad as he was the one who compromised my address as well. But yeah, new house. My ex got a final breach warning.

The known Taper coverage for this residency is not good.
The ONLY COVERED dates so far as of now are as follows:
5/24 5/25 6/6 6/7 6/8 6/20 6/21 6/22
That is less than half the residency. I will update this as time goes on, I’m hoping we can fill it up somehow.
Everything else is NOT covered yet (as far as we know in the taper community). If you are going to any of the other dates and have $100 to spare, I can teach you how to make a solid tape from your phone with a plug in mic in your chest pocket and I will do your transfe upload work. These mics are incredibly easy to smuggle in and you do not need a taper ticket to get the job done. It’s not hard.
As of now we are not getting boards for the foreseeable future. When? Anyone’s guess is as good as mine. If you would like to be part of the effort to get these shows out there to the people. PLEASE DM me I will walk you through everything.
For those of you who don’t know me, the only reason I got into taping was to save a set of Mayer shows from being lost. To this day, they are the only circulated recordings of the Sob Rock Tour Finale. Are they good? No, but the show got recorded, preserved, and circulated for the people (shit on me for taping Mayer I truly don’t care).
Together, we can salvage the coverage of this residency. This might sound silly to many, but to a lot of us this is serious business. If you wake up the morning after a show and check archive to see if a taper got it up yet, I am talking to you. If you love the sound of this music as much as I do, I am talking to you. If you want to put your name on musical history, I am talking to you.
I wish I could tape the entire run, unfortunately life is not affording me that ability this year.
Co signed: Eric & redditless Hunter S

What's the unlock policy for a phone bought outright (from samsung.com) locked to at&t? If I never activate it and use it. Will at&t prevent me from ever unlocking the phone if I don't pay for 2 months of service? Curious in a deal on Samsungs page for carrier locked phones.
Also I heard some Carrier phones not sold directly by at&t are locked to the first sim?

WANTS
Zelda Game and Watch (1989, ZL-65 CIB)
I’m also looking to trade for Game Boy DMG Games,I got tons already, so just let me know what you have for trade, but big wants are:
Beethoven (DMG EUR)
Beetlejuice
Darkman (DMG USA)
Maui Mallard
Mega Man IV (DMG USA)
Mega Man V (DMG USA)
Metal Master
Super Breakout (grey cartridge for GB DMG)
Spud’s Adventure
ZAS (DMG JPN)
Switch Wants
Icoclasts CIB or New Standard Switch
Phoenotopia Awakening PE standard edition (CIB or New)
Red Dead Redemption CIB or New
PS4 Wants
Red Dead Redemption 1 CIB or New
PS5 Wants
Weird West (CIB)
Control (CIB)
Your Lists, you can always try, I like a bunch of stuff :)
Thanks for looking!
Hi,
I’m happy to provide pics for any items and detailed condition descriptions.
HAVE:
Legend of Zelda Game & Watch (New)
\*\*\*
Switch
Akka Arrh (LRG New)
Arietta of Spirits (New Red Art Games)
Atari Recharged Collection 1 (New)
Bloodrayne Betrayal (New LRG)
Bloodstained Curse of the Moon 2 (LRG BB New)
Cotton Reboot (CIB) Devil Engine (New JP)
Devil May Cry Triple Pack (New, code expired, Only has DMC 1 on cart)
Doom: The Classics Collection (New LRG Best Buy variant cover) Drainus (New SLG with Postcard) Dying Light (CIB)
ExZeus (New) Final Fantasy 7 Crisis Core Reunion (CIB) Fire Emblem Warriors (New)
Game Builder Garage (CIB)
Ghost Blade HD (CIB)
Grow: Song of the Evertree (New)
Ittle Dew (New with all goodies)
Ittle Dew 2 (CIB with map and Manual)
Kamiko (Rare New with soundtrack and card B-Side)
Koumajou Remilia Scarlet Symphony (CIB)
Kyogeki Quartet Fighters (CIB B-Side with CD and Goodies)
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (New)
Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (Case, manual and stickers only, no game) The Mummy Demastered Collector’s Edition (New LRG)
NeverAwake (New JP)
Ni No Kuni (CIB)
Oniken + Odallus Collection Limited Edition (New)
Onimusha Warlords (Japanese Release with English CIB)
Pokémon Pokeball + box Only, (no pokeball)
Pressure Overdrive (New) (SLG)
Psikyo Collection Vol.2 (Japan) (New) R-Type Dimensions EX (CIB SLG with Postcard) Space Invaders Invincible Collection (CIB SLG)
Star Hunter DX + Space Moth (New SLG with Postcard)
Superepic The Entertainment War (New) TriggerHeart Exelica (JP New)
Toaplan Arcade Garage: Zero Fire (JP New)
Toaplan Arcade Garage: Hishou Same! Same! Same! (JP New)
Wonder Boy Returns Remix (New with Postcard)
The Wonderful 101 (New Kickstarter edition with holographic cover) Xeodrifter (Red Art Games) (New) Xeodrifter (Atooi/LRG New)
3DS
Andro Dunos 2 (New)
Astérix le Domaine des Dieux (PAL CIB)
Brain Age Concentration Training (CIB)
Code Name Steam (New) Dr. Kawashima 3DS (French PAL CIB)
Fragrant Story (New)
Go! Go! Kokopolo Anniversary Collection (Limited Run Games) (New)
Kid Icarus (manual and inserts only)
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (Nintendo Selects) (New) The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (Handheld Game of the Year Edition) (New) The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (Nintendo Selects) (New) Metroid Samus Returns (Case and insert only)
PES 2013 (CIB)
Resident Evil Revelations (CIB With misprint cover and the corrected cover) Sega 3D Classics (New)
Sega 3D Fukkoku Reprinted Archives 1 (New)
Sega 3D Fukkoku Reprinted Archives 3 Final Stage (New)
Shakedown Hawaii (New)
Steeldiver (New)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (CIB)
DS
6 Loose DS carts (Crosswords DS, Mon Coach Personnel, Moshi Monsters 1 & 2, Mots Croissés, Scribblenauts)
Teenage Mutant Ninja 3 Mutant Nightmare (CIB)
Super Nintendo (carts only)
Batman Returns
The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse (PAL Version)
Super Famicom (carts only)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest
Return of Double Dragon
Super Ghouls N Ghosts
Turtles in Time (Super Famicom)
Torneko No Daiboken (Dragon Quest IV Spin-Off)
\*\*\*
Wii U
Super Mario 3D World (Case and manual only, no disc)
*** PS5
Death Stranding Director’s Cut New
Devil May Cry 5 CIB Kena Bridge of Spirits Deluxe Edition (CIB)
Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (New LRG) The Pathless (New)
*** PS Vita
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate (New)
La-Mulana EX (LRG New)
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir (CIB with high quality custom made manual)
Risk of Rain ( LRG CIB)
The Swapper (LRG New) Teslagrad (New)
Xeodrifter (LRG New with barcode hole under seal)
*** PS4
Amazing Princess Sarah (New) Assassin’s Creed Ezio Collection (CIB)
Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (CIB) Assassin’s Creed Syndicate (CIB)
Assassin’s Creed Unity (CIB)
Cobra Kai (CIB)Darksiders III (CIB) Disco Elysium Final Cut (CIB) The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition (CIB)
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition (CIB) No Man’s Sky Beyond (CIB) Sega Genesis Classics (CIB)
Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap (New LRG, Master System cover)
PS3God of War Collection (CIB)
***
Amiibos
Palamute sealed
Palico sealed
Sephiroth Sealed

Hi everyone! I’m looking to buy a Garmin watch for my husband for his upcoming birthday.
My husband loves to golf and goes probably once every week or two weeks minimum. He’s also an avid runner and starting to run more races this year. He also likes to work out daily, either by running or lifting weights.
Right now, he has a Samsung watch that I think for the most part is meeting some of his needs, but I think he still has to take his phone with him while running. He also doesn’t like watches that are too bulky.
I’ve heard a bit about some of the Garmin watches that have various golf features, like a rangefinder, etc. Could you all recommend any watches that have some golf features but also good for running (the ability to let him leave his phone at home for a run would be nice too)? I have a Apple Watch so I’m hopelessly lost 🙃
Thanks!

https://imgur.com/gallery/813Gyzl
https://imgchest.com/p/qb4z3bz857j
Hi,
Cutting back on collecting and I’m selling a bunch of games! Not everything is pictured here so let me know if you need pics of an item.
I prefer PayPal friends and Family. I have many confirmed trades here.
I’m happy to provide pics for any items and detailed condition descriptions.
Shipping is free over $25, or $4 per item. (Shipping is only within the United States. No international shipping unless you are willing to pay the exact cost of shipping)
There is always room for negotiation, prices are based on market value, but there is wiggle room if you buy more than one game.
I’m also looking to buy Game Boy (DMG) loose
Beethoven
Beetlejuice
Darkman
Maui Mallard
Metal Masters (OG not LRG rerelease)
Super Breakout (grey cartridge for GB DMG)
Spud’s Adventure
For Sale
Legend of Zelda Game & Watch (New) $38
\*\*\*
Switch
Akka Arrh (LRG New) $39
Arietta of Spirits (New Red Art Games) $39
Atari Recharged Collection 1 (New) $33
Bite the Bullet (New SLG with updated cart) $85
Bloodrayne Betrayal (New LRG) $39
Bloodstained Curse of the Moon 2 (LRG BB New) $30
Cotton Reboot (CIB) $20Devil Engine (New JP) $29
Devil May Cry Triple Pack (New, code expired, Only has DMC 1 on cart) $20
Doom: The Classics Collection (New LRG Best Buy variant cover) $39 Drainus (New SLG with Postcard) $75 Dying Light (CIB) $20
ExZeus (New) $25 Final Fantasy 7 Crisis Core Reunion (CIB) $27 Fire Emblem Warriors (New) $23
Game Builder Garage (CIB) $20
Ghost Blade HD (CIB) $25
Grow: Song of the Evertree (New) $25
Ittle Dew (New with all goodies) $110
Ittle Dew 2 (CIB with map and Manual) $35
Kamiko (Rare New with soundtrack and card B-Side) $115
Koumajou Remilia Scarlet Symphony (CIB) $30
Kyogeki Quartet Fighters (CIB B-Side with CD and Goodies) $139
Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (Case, manual and stickers only, no game) $25 The Mummy Demastered Collector’s Edition (New LRG) $92
NeverAwake (New JP) $34
Ni No Kuni (CIB) $20
Oniken + Odallus Collection Limited Edition (New) $49
Onimusha Warlords (Japanese Release with English CIB) $29
Overlord Escape from Nazarick (NEW JP) $35
Pokémon Pokeball + box Only, (no pokeball) $12
Pressure Overdrive (New) $28 (SLG)
Psikyo Collection Vol.2 (Japan) (New) $20 R-Type Dimensions EX (CIB SLG with Postcard) $129 Space Invaders Invincible Collection (CIB SLG) $58
Star Hunter DX + Space Moth (New SLG with Postcard) $59
Superepic The Entertainment War (New) $25 TriggerHeart Exelica (JP New) $25
Wonder Boy Returns Remix $40 (New with Postcard)
The Wonderful 101 (New Kickstarter edition with holographic cover) $38 Xeodrifter (Red Art Games) (New) $25 Xeodrifter (Atooi/LRG New) $25
3DS
Andro Dunos 2 (New) $38
Astérix le Domaine des Dieux (PAL CIB) $12
Brain Age Concentration Training (CIB) $15
Code Name Steam (New) $10Dr. Kawashima 3DS (French PAL CIB) $15
Fragrant Story (New) $38
Go! Go! Kokopolo Anniversary Collection (Limited Run Games) (New) $83
Kid Icarus (manual and inserts only) $10
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (Nintendo Selects) (New) $25 The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (Handheld Game of the Year Edition) (New) $55 Metroid Samus Returns (Case and insert only) $10
PES 2013 (CIB) $9
Resident Evil Revelations (CIB With misprint cover and the corrected cover) $28 Sega 3D Classics (New) $27
Sega 3D Fukkoku Reprinted Archives 1 (New) $100
Sega 3D Fukkoku Reprinted Archives 3 Final Stage (New) $270
Shakedown Hawaii (New) $55
Steeldiver (New) $10
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (CIB) $8
DS
6 Loose DS carts (Crosswords DS, Mon Coach Personnel, Moshi Monsters 1 & 2, Mots Croissés, Scribblenauts) $12
Teenage Mutant Ninja 3 Mutant Nightmare (CIB) $35
Game Boy DMG (Manuals only)(Price based on market value and condition) Alleyway $5 Donkey Kong Land $7 Double Dragon $6 Four Player Adapter $4 Game Boy DMG Instruction Booklet $8 Golf $5
Pacman $5 Revenge of the Gator $10 Tetris $5 Tetris 2 $5
\*\*\*
Super Nintendo (carts only) (take the lot for $25 shipped)
Batman Returns $22
The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse (PAL Version) $8
Super Famicom (carts only) (take the lot for $75 shipped)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest $8
Return of Double Dragon $20
Super Ghouls N Ghosts $10
Turtles in Time (Super Famicom) $35
Torneko No Daiboken (Dragon Quest IV Spin-Off) $9
\*\*\*
Wii U
Super Mario 3D World (Case and manual only, no disc) $5
*** PS5
Death Stranding Director’s Cut New $25
Devil May Cry 5 CIB $20 Kena Bridge of Spirits Deluxe Edition (CIB) $20
Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (New LRG) $48The Pathless (New) $18
*** PS Vita
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate (New) $25
La-Mulana EX (LRG New) $40
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir (CIB with high quality custom made manual) $69
Risk of Rain ( LRG CIB) $35
The Swapper (LRG New) $45 Teslagrad (New) $25
Xeodrifter (LRG New with barcode hole under seal) $32
*** PS4
Amazing Princess Sarah (New) $32 Assassin’s Creed Ezio Collection (CIB) $10
Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (CIB) $9 Assassin’s Creed Syndicate (CIB) $8
Assassin’s Creed Unity (CIB) $8
Cobra Kai (CIB) $10Darksiders III (CIB) $9 Disco Elysium Final Cut (CIB) $15The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition (CIB) $12
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition (CIB) $10 No Man’s Sky Beyond (CIB) $25 Sega Genesis Classics (CIB) $18
Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap (New LRG, Master System cover) $24
PS3God of War Collection (CIB) $17
***
Amiibos
Palamute sealed $19
Palico sealed $19

Somebody requested that I write down some resources for Dzogchen in the sidebar, so I thought I would do a post as well to give a sort of background and offer anyone else the chance to get in on the conversation or building of resources too...
But first,

A Word on Secrecy, Safety Maturity, and Cults

I'm writing this post out by request of someone who messaged me, with the intention of reaching a wider audience, or all beings, who could benefit from learning about these teachings. I have to caution, though, that they may not be for everybody, and in that regard, I would advise gentleness, with yourself and others, with regards to this path. Please take care of yourself, and keep a measure of your own mind with regard to your mental health and these practices. I wish that those who read this post are only those who it may help, and I apologize preemptively to all those it may hurt, or if I've made any mistakes in my writing.
With that in mind, I can maybe share a little bit about the secrecy aspect of what is called Vajrayana. Someone who learns about these practices but does not genuinely practice them can generate obstacles to their own awakening; specifically with Dzogchen, there is a real danger of intellectualizing the practice such that one covers over their own mind with a sheen of thoughts and fabrication, blocking one from advancing towards awakening. In that regard, this particular practice is called self secret. From what I know, many Lamas won't introduce one to the practice if they aren't sure the student has the capability to grasp it, and also - the student won't be able to practice it or understand it if they're not able to.
On the subject of cults - I have to note that Dzogchen practice can be very personal, but that is not a license for any teacher to abuse you, in any form, ever. Things that happened in the past - students getting slapped, hit with shoes, etc. - happened in the past - but that doesn't make them appropriate teachings devices today. A genuinely compassionate teacher won't take advantage of your practice to abuse you, steal your money, degrade you, control you, or anything like that. If they try to - it is more likely that you've stumbled on a cult, and should get away as fast as you can.
As for what makes a good teacher - others have asked this question before, and u/krodha in particular has written out a good description many times, although I can't find the quote he usually uses unfortunately.
As far as general safety in the practice goes, Lama Lena has written this (and I'm shamelessly stealing it from her website):
"The responsibility to take care of your own mind rests with you; not the lama, not your mom, not your cat. So, take it upon yourself to be safe and use common sense."
Please, read that whole page and heed the warnings.

My Practice

I've been working with Dzogchen for about 3.5 years now, since approximately the end of 2020. I'd been interested in Mahayana practices for the better part of a decade before that, but mostly just practicing Samatha by the way of Anapanasati and Metta, and also through the framework provided by *The Mind Illuminated*. I had been curious about Dzogchen for a bit, mostly from reading about it on Wikipedia and just, in general, being interested in seeing what the fuss is surrounding vajrayana, tantra, and the "highest system" called Atiyoga.
By chance, I happened to see a comment on Dzogchen from someone who basically said "If anyone is looking for pointing out, feel free to message me." So I sent them a message giving my general background and motivation for the practice, and they invited me to join them on meditationonline.org - which had been a place they'd been doing meditation for a few years (and still do, I suppose I'd consider myself part of that sangha). I happened to meet the individual who I'd been messaging, a Nyingma lama called Dawai Gocha, and received pointing out, along with teachings for the next few years... up until the present day.
My main practice now is Dzogchen - I gradually transitioned into this from Anapanasati over the course of about six months - and most of my sessions are now just me resting in awareness - Rigpa. I generally do augment this however with other practices, like Satipatthana, mantra recitation, and other practices from the three main vehicles, simply because I like to do them and find them helpful on the path.

What is Dzogchen?

I can't say anything that has not already been said by others, in particular, meditation masters with vastly more experience than I have - but to put it simply, Dzogchen practice can encompass a large number of different types of ancillary practices, and one central practice, which the ancillaries are meant to accomplish. The main practice is resting in the Rigpa.

How to Learn

"Get pointing out instructions from a qualified teacher before embarking on Dzogchen and Mahamudra. A teacher can address pressing questions as they arise and give you a map and tools for the journey. As practitioners, we can rely on those who have hiked the trail before us." - Lama Lena
Since the awareness nature is always present in every being, it is both simple to learn and simple to maintain the practice - being that one just simply is introduced to the awareness nature, and then abides in it at all times.
As far as being introduced to that awareness, in my experience there are many avenues, such as getting pointed out in person( verbally or non verbally), in visions, through texts, in dreams, etc. In one of her videos, Lama Lena goes through, I think, five different days that transmission/pointing out can happen.
But in my experience, getting pointing out, repeatedly and periodically, from a teacher is the most effective (and probably the most important) way to learn, like having someone coach you through riding a bicycle, until you finally internalize the fundamentals and are able ride on your own. Even someone that can check your progress, humble you, and keep you from common pitfalls, can be extremely helpful. Dzogchen, to me and from what I have read from e.g. Tulku Urgyen, is very simple, so simple that many people are able to miss it extremely easily. Whether we miss it because we're so worked up, or because we are subtly fabricating something and fixating on the fabrication - there is a miss, and from what I know, it's better to realize that than carry on doing whatever else. The harsh reality of Dzogchen practice is that fixation, because we're so habituated to it as human beings, is extremely easy, and being led astray by fixation means your meditation becomes a conditioned Samatha practice. On a lighter note though - from my perspective, one we learn to continually distinguish between Consciousness from Wisdom, we are on very solid ground, and it becomes easier and easier to recognize when we've become fixated.
On the subject of teachers - I would consider myself to have had many teachers. My main teacher, I mentioned before, is a lama I talk to live over the internet, but I would also say I've received teachings from recordings, from books, and in dreams. For clarity, I will state again: having a teacher that you can use to verify your practice is very important so as not to fall into common pitfalls. Whether you are confirming your experience through texts, reasoning, pointing out videos, whatever - doing it repeatedly will help because otherwise, as a beginner, one can be lost for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, etc. without finding awareness again. I've seen people on Dzogchen who, unfortunately, even though they got pointing out from great teachers, were not able to full internalize the practice because they got lost in thoughts and then never were able to find recognize awareness again, and so need the pointing out once more. Others get the pointing out repeatedly - practice a lot, and attain good results over time. In that way, from my perspective, having continual access to the teachings is very important.
Fortunately, we live in a good time for this.
I'll get to recommend specifics later but - this is my perspective - although some people say that you can't get transmission over recordings or the internet, or from books - I actually do doubt that that is that case, just from experience. But, I must caution that all of my experience in this realm comes from after the point in time that I received live pointing out, so I would not take what I say as gospel. Once again, anything I say would defer to a knowledge and reputable teacher.
This all being said - regardless of how one feels at a specific time or place, there's no reason to ever refrain from confirming one's experience or view against the words of masters. There are others that have said this, who have more experience, but until we are Buddhas ourselves and phenomena have exhausted, there is no reason to ever stop practicing. Ever. If you are practicing, there is no need to make effort, and all phenomena will come and go without trouble until they are fully exhausted. Namkhai Norbu says almost exactly this in The Cycle of Day and Night.

Finding A Teacher - Resources

"Do not expect to travel this path guided only by books and the internet! Use the internet to find a teacher, then connect with them." - Lama Lena
It's taken a while to get here, my apologies for that.
For finding a teacher, I think any lama that has accomplished a three year retreat will be proficient in either Mahamudra or Dzogchen (both Atiyoga - subtle differenes but the same essential practice), and will likely be able to give pointing out instructions.
Not all may do so at first. Some may want a more personal relationship, some may require Ngondro, and some may say "sorry I don't really give those teachings". Some may require a baseline knowledge of the practice first - for example the Tergar program does.
That being said, there are many places to receive pointing out for free and in public.
Off the top of my head, I can name four that are always open and free: Lama Lena on Facebook and Youtube, The Rangdrol Foundation (run by the reddit user u/jigdrol), MeditationOnline.org, and The Pristine Mind Foundation . I know there are others, but at least to me on reddit and personally, these have been the most visible. I do know that Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and James Low occasionally give pointing out instructions and videos on the practice. As well - many other lama do on occasion, and especially Bon lamas - practitioners and Yogis from the Tibetan Indigenous religion, through teachings series or classes. Some may even do so if you are able to get a phone call with them.
Personally, I recommend finding someone who you can learn from personally, and allowing them to teach you whatever they can.
Edit: Here is a recent list of online teachers compiled by Dzogchen
Lama Lena Dzogchen Youtube Videos
Lama Lena Introductory Videos
Meditation Online Videos (Almost all Dzogchen)
Once you've received pointing out, there are also numerous public books, and texts one can read to deepen their understanding and/or background in the teachings, a few of which I've read and can list below. I'll also try to find some links that I care share too.
Many texts on Dzogchen, Mahyana and Vajrayana in general can be found on the excellent Lotsawahouse.org
A list of a few books that I've read and can personally recommend. Please note - these books (with the exception of Transcending AFAIK) are best read after having received transmission:
The Cycle of Day and Night by Chogyal Namkhai Norbu
Dzogchen: Heart Essence of the Great Perfection by HH The Dalai Lama
Zurchungpa's Testament by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Vajra Heart Revisited by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche
Transcending Ego: Distinguishing Consciousness from Wisdom by Thrangu Rinpoche
Also, I've not read the Trilogy of Rest by Longchenpa but heard that they're excellent.
Anyways, this about wraps up the post. If you have any questions or additional comments, they are very welcome. I wish all of your the very best of luck on your paths, and that all beings may reach enlightenment.

Hello all. So yes I passed the a+ core 1 today. I'm very happy with that but the primary reason for creating this post is to help people like me when I first started looking into this 3 months ago trying to figure out the best way to do things. I hope that by sharing my methods for preparing for this exam that it may help someone else that was in my position a few months ago.
If you're like me and you you take or took picking up a plus or another certification seriously, you probably have read a bunch of stuff on Reddit about how people passed and what they did or even people that failed and what they did or didn't do. And the question I had was, what should I do?
I work from home at what is basically a help desk job so I have a lot of downtime. I set out to do 2 hours a day of studying. This included watching videos, looking up information about material that would be covered on the exam, making flashcards, and using the flashcards. At first I started with Mike Myers course on udemy. I then took some practice tests on examcompass.com. those practice exams are 25 questions and therefore short, and cover about two and a half topics that are relevant to the exam. I did Mike Myers course and realized that there was a bit of information that was not covered. So after making flashcards off of the notes from his course, I then went and watch Professor messer's course. I took notes on everything Professor Messer covered that I didn't know from Mike Myers or anything that I felt I needed more practice on. From that giant piece of notes I made flashcards out of that and practice those ones. I then did a bunch of those practice exams on examcompass.com and I made flashcards out of the concepts and if applicable, questions that I just straight up got wrong on those. The flash card website/service I used is called Quizlet and I like it because it has a mobile app that I find easy to use and whatnot. It also has good compatibility with the desktop version so I would use the desktop version to create my flashcards and then use the mobile version to actually study them. So I'd study them when someone was driving me somewhere or basically anytime that it was a good time for me to do it just to make sure I hit my 2 hours every day. I did 2 hours a day for 2 months doing these sorts of activities. I used an app a Time logger on my cell phone to track how much time I had spent studying in a given day. You can use the app to track how much time you spent studying in the current day and in other days. It's very easy to use in this app kind of carried me if I'm being honest
a random note I do have pretty bad inattentive ADHD but I didn't let that be an excuse. I just buckled down and I did it and it was hard to focus at times but I just did it anyway because I really was committed to passing.
I think there's lots of ways that you can successfully go about doing this. Other people have talked about how they've done it on this subreddit successfully and I just wanted to in detail how I did it to perhaps provide someone like me the means for a successful study and preparation strategy.
If you have any questions about my exam or my means of studying or if you would like some of my study materials I'm happy to provide whatever. Spent basically $15 on the udemy course and the money for the voucher for the exam and that's it so you really can self study basically for free. I probably could have passed without Mike Myers course but to be honest I probably will go for Core 2 by using two courses again. I want to minimize all chances of failing within my control, that's just how I do it. Thanks for reading!

Hello all was looking for a decent Nintendo 64 controller to pair with my 8bitdo Lite. Now the Lite honestly covers just about every other emulator on my Note 20 Ultra, but with the 64 emulators I’d like a different feel.
The two controllers I’ve looked at are the Brawler 64 or 8bitdo’s N64 Mod, now I know 8bitdo will work on android and I’m already a fan of their products but I also have the Brawler usb and N64 wired controllers. Will the brawler wireless controllers connect to an Android phone and if anyone has used these controllers what were your opinions on the gameplay and feel?
Thanks to anyone one who can help, cheers!

Hi
I'll preface by saying my experience is limited to building 2 personal pc's, tinkering with fan/clock speeds, and basic folder sharing between Windows pc's at home. I've never used dockerfiles or linux so far.
The last few weeks I've been trying to read forums and posts, and watch as many guides and explanations as possible to help get my first understandings of home servers. I've reached a point where I am tipping into overwhelmed with possibilities (probably overthinking), and struggling with how I proceed.
I think I'm mostly struggling with how it all connects and how/what software I need to make it easily remote accessible/a cloud server, so help on this front would be great. Thanks in advance.
First idea: I use my Old PC + new HDD's as the servecloud hardware. (Cheaper and ideal in that it uses old parts)
My understanding so far for this is;

1. I reset the Win 10 operating system on my Old PC
2. Remove Win bloatware
3. Set new HDD's to Raid 5 and format
4. Install Plex media server
5. Install Steam with games
6. Install Moonlight/Sunshine for streaming Far Cry 6
7. Install Immich or Photosync with Photoprism for auto photo backups from mobile phones
8. ?Designate folder access for other users on the local network?
9. Tailscale vpn for remote access (never used it before)
10. ...unsure if i need to do anything else

Second idea: Buy a Synology device and add HDD. This acts as media+photo+file servecloud and remains on 24/7. Old PC gets turned on intermittently to act as GUI for Web browsing+PC gaming on TV. (upfront more expensive, possibly easier to first setup)
Below are some parameters of what I'm trying to do/use.
Functions to perform:

1. Connect to tv, other pc’s and mobile devices within local home network for access to personal media (movies, music, photos).
2. Storage of home media, personal documents
3. Access to web browsing on TV for ad-free viewing instead of using direct aps like YouTube (I imagine i need a GUI for this such as Windows 10)
4. Infrequent pc gaming on TV (without using my gaming specific pc to stream from. Far cry 6 on low-ish settings but OK fps).
5. Auto backup/syncing of photos from Mobile phones.
6. Avoid needing to use public cloud services like Google Photos/Apple iCloud/Microsoft Onedrive as file sharing/backup/remote access.
7. Be online and accessible 24/7

Note: I’d welcome any tips to reduce noise and wattage profile.
Room layout:

• Room 1 has - Router, TV, Nvidia Shield Pro
• Room 2 has - Gaming PC, space for home server device and/or additional hardware device.

Planning to buy so far:

• 4 x Seagate IronWolf Pro 16 TB 3.5" 7200 RPM Internal Hard Drive

Hardware I have:

• Display: TCL tv 43P6US (4k UHD 3840x2160) (HDMI + ethernet port)
• With TV: Nvidia Shield TV Pro
• Router: TP Link Archer 1600v (1600Mbps total wifispeed, 1300Mbps on 5GHz)
• Internet provider connection: 55/20 Mbps down up
• In-home net connection: 5g wifi, 600AV2 power line (600 Mbps)
• Router sits with TV+Shield Pro, keyboard+mouse, xbox controller
• Phone: iPhone 13, Samsung Galaxy (5yr old)

(Old PC part list)

• CPU: Intel Core i5-8600K 3.6 GHz 6-Core Processor
• Mobo: Asus Prime Z370-A ATX LGA1151 Motherboard
• RAM: Corsair Vengeance LPX 8 GB (2 x 4 GB) DDR4-3000 CL15 Memory
• Storage: Samsung 860 Evo 1 TB M.2-2280 SATA Solid State Drive
• GPU: EVGA SC GAMING ACX 3.0 Black Edition GeForce GTX 1070 8 GB Video Card
• Case: be quiet! Silent Base 800 ATX Mid Tower Case
• CPU cooler: be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 3 67.8 CFM Fluid Dynamic Bearing CPU Cooler
• PSU: SeaSonic Focus Plus Gold 550 W 80+ Gold Certified
• Wifi: 5GHz
• Operating System: Microsoft Windows 10 AAOEM

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This was removed because it was too short. So I’m reposting with additional info.
Just wanted to give a thank you to anyone on the Front Desk today. We were supposed to be heading up to Duluth on Wednesday. My adult stepson unexpectedly passed away yesterday, and I had to cancel. We missed the cutoff (48 hours). I was the one who found him. So while I was dealing with the police and the paramedics and, I had to make the phone call. The person on the desk was very kind, and waived the fee for us.
It’s a very nice property, we were only a couple of hours past the and I am sure they won’t have trouble covering the cancellation. But they didn’t have to make that exception.
It’s very rough and raw for us right now. We don’t know what happened (his father and I were working), and won’t know until we get a medical report. That small kindness was a large blessing during a terrible phone call. I don’t know their name, but I will be emailing the property to thank them.
I know your job is difficult, and you deal with a lot of shit. And yesterday one of you was an angel.

Hi!
I've had a lot of dental work done recently with my previous dentist (4 wisdom teeth pulled, 6 molars pulled with bone grafts, and 2 root canals all within 1 year). I'm in a very fortunate situation where I have been able to pay for most of this work out of pocket, however, I just got a new insurance that my previous dentist office does not accept, so I had to search for a new dentist. After a lot of phone calls I found an office near me that accepts my new insurance and I scheduled an appointment with them.
During my first appointment we did a consultation and a cleaning. When I went in, I got a weird vibe from the office. The front of the office looked pristine but then when I was taken back to a room, all the walls looked dingy and stained, there was water leaks in the ceiling, and everything just looked dingy and rundown like it hadn't been maintained in a while. I'm not one to judge a book by it's cover, but it did have me kind of concerned. After the cleaning, we scheduled the root canal for 2 weeks later.
Fast forward to today, I had the appointment for the root canal. I was already feeling very nervous because they had called me yesterday to let me know they ran out of gas so they would not be able to use that during my appointment. I have had a very bad experience in the past so now whenever I go in for a procedure I have a lot of anxiety and tend to get panic attacks.
I get taken back to a room and people keep coming in and out getting everything set up and getting me ready. My dentist then comes in and she begins doing the root canal. Mind you, while she is doing the root canal, she is actively on a phone call and employees keep coming in and out of the room speaking to my dentist and the assistant acting like I'm not even there and they are speaking Spanish complaining about a little Bluetooth speaker being missing, apparently an employee stole it. It was pretty off-putting that I was not the main priority during this procedure and that they cared more about their phone calls and speakers than focusing on this procedure that they're doing on me. I understand having to take care of some things, but there is a time and a place for that.
Fast forward about an hour and my dentist keeps saying that I'm bleeding a lot. She keeps repeating that without explaining anything so obviously that's a little jarring. Eventually, after she couldn't get the bleeding to stop, she tells me that we are going to have to finish this another day. She told me she is putting some medicine inside the tooth and she puts a "temporary filling" inside and sends me to the front of the office to schedule another appointment. I get up there and they tell me her next opening isn't for 2.5 weeks.
So now, here I am, sitting here with a half-finished root canal questioning if that is okay to do. I suppose it's more like 1/3 finished since I still have to wait for the temporary crown. She was not able to put in the posts or fill the tooth with the "gutta percha", it is currently just filled with medicine and topped with a temporary filling.
I've never heard of this before and couldn't find anything online about this. As someone who already has a lot of dental anxiety, this is just making it so much worse. Is this ok? Am I fine to wait the 2.5 weeks to get the root canal finished? Or should I just bite the bullet and contact my previous dentist (who I trust greatly) and see about getting this finished.
Thanks in advance!

Hey all! I broke up with my ex fiancé in June, so not really sure I should be posting this here, but I don’t really know where else to go since you all understand what I’ve been through (my story is on my previous posts).
Since then, I’ve done a lot and just tried to have fun and heal. I don’t think I’m quite ready to date yet because I honestly don’t know how to think/feel about a bunch of things, one being trust and other being porn use. I’m also not fully over my ex yet. So I don’t feel it would be fair to date or start a relationship.
Anyway, I guess my question is what’s the line between trust and being naive? My ex used every excuse under the sun to cover up his porn use. Now I realize I was blindly trusting him and I just can’t put myself through that again.
In our 7 years together I never checked his phone (until the last 2 months where I found all sorts). I don’t want to be blind again, but also want to trust my future partner, I don’t want to be worried that they’re texting other people. So where do you cross the line?
I told my ex I didn’t really care if he watched porn. He always told me he never watched it anyway. This was a complete lie. If he had been using it a moderate amount and it hadn’t effected our relationship I probably would have never even noticed/cared. Turned out it effected everything. Now I think if a future partner was watching it I’d probably have a pretty big reaction. I know a lot of people say any amount of porn is damaging. But is a ‘no porn’ boundary realistic in todays world? I’m 28, I want kids and a family one day. I don’t have forever to find the perfect partner. But maybe I should be waiting for that perfect person? So again, where’s the line?
I’ve been thinking about doing some online sanon groups, is this a good idea even though I broke up with my ex? Or is it more for people who are still with their partners?
If anyone has any podcasts/books/websites etc that you think might be useful that would be amazing!
I’m sorry if you read this because it means you’re in this group, but I hope you’re having a wonderful day ♥️

I recently accepted a dash order from Subway. It said as it is from an external app, I won't be able to see what the customer ordered. When I got to Subway, it was a single cookie (ikr). When I got to the customer's address (standard apt building no unit no buzzer code). I gave the customer a call to get those details. Someone answered claiming to be from Doordash support saying they intercepted my call as the order was booked using a fraudulent credit card and should not be delivered to the client. It seemed legit until they asked me to verify myself. I gave them my phone number, and I got the 6 digit verification code sent to my phone. I was just about to provide that to the person but something clicked and I ended the call as it seemed sus. They kept calling me back.
I called the "real" Doordash support and asked if someone was trying to get in touch with me regarding the subway order. They said no and told me I shouldn't have provided the verification code as the supposed "customer" was trying to get into my dasher account to get my banking info and possibly steal all my earnings for that week.
Sucks that people are willing to stoop down to that level stealing from a hardworking individual who's just trying to pay his student loans. I quickly changed my password and goddamit I ate that cookie.

Alright I have a reaallly niche problem right now, idk if this is even the right subreddit to ask, and idk if this will even fix it because I don't know how dacs work lol
Short version: My current dongle dac turns off when audio goes quiet for what I'm guessing is to save power, but when that happens it causes a popping noise in my iems. I want to prevent the usb port from turning off to hopefully keep the dac from turning off which will stop the popping noise (Theoretically).
I have samsung s21
Long version: Bought truthear hexas, I love them but I found you need to have a decent dongle dac to prevent static. I have tried 4 different (cheap) dongle dacs now, the only one that works perfectly is the apple dongle. Classic. However, I am having a really hard time finding a good dongle doc WITH a pd port to charge my phone at the same time. The only dac with a pd port that works well is from UGREEN, but it has the problem of turning off when there is no audio, which causes a popping noise because my hexas pick up that signal. Its unfortunate because it sounds so good when music is playing, its only something that happens when audio falls quiet.
So, because I can't find a good dongle dac with a pd port, and am really tired testing out different dongles, I am just trying to find a way to keep the dongle dac that somewhat works from turning off in the first place through usb settings. Though, I have a strong feeling it is the dac that turns itself off but it is worth a try. I have tried disabling usb routing, but it didn't work. I also heard if the iems have a mic it keeps the dac from turning off, however, my hexas do not have a mic.
In that light, does anyone know any apps or phone settings that keeps the usb port on no matter what? Or perhaps you know how to fix the popping a different way, or you know of a good dongle dac the sports both a dac and a pd port?

England
Apologies, may be long but I’ll try to summarise mostly at the top, and then provide full excerpts of emails for detail if needed.
I own a leasehold flat and our management company is in the process of replacing our door entry system for buzzing people into the building. No consultation with flat owners was done on what the replacement system should be. The cost is being covered by insurers as the current system has been damaged by someone.
Currently the system works by the person/visitor punching in a flat number on the outside panel, this rings a phone in our flat (and also has a video screen) and we can let them in with a button. The system they’re planning to replace it with removes the phone unit in our flat and requires a phone number to be called by the system, and then we buzz the person in through an app on our phone.
Personally I think this is an unacceptable replacement due to the requirement of having a phone number for the system to call to simply be able to answer our doors.
When I asked what if someone doesn’t have a phone/doesn’t want to give their number to a company for the purpose of opening their door to guests, I was essentially told the advice is to just “buy one”. They also completely misunderstood my question of “What if I lose my phone?” - just telling me to let them know and they can remove my phone number from the system. Clearly not understanding that then I’d be without the ability to answer the door for visitors/post workers and such.
Maybe I’m being unreasonable (if you think I am please do say), but I don’t think this is a tenable solution for a replacement system.
I’m wondering if there is any legal basis to resist the new system on? It’s materially different (in my opinion at least. And I appreciate that from an outside perspective maybe it is not) from what was/currently is in place when I purchased my flat, and has potential issues that simply shouldn’t exist for a building entry system.
Happy to provide any more detail, and mildly resigned to also be told that I can’t do anything and just have to accept it.
Initial email from the management company
“Whilst this system is being bespokely fabricated we now need some details from each resident in each flat. This will be the mobile phone number that you wish to receive door entry calls from to allow access. This number will normally be the owner or tenants living there. You can have more than one mobile attached to the system. The system will call the primary number and if not answered it will then call the secondary number. You do not have to use more than one number.
When you answer the door as you would any call you will be able to see the person asking for access and speak to them on your phone. If you wish to allow access you press the hash key on your phone and this releases the door. We will give much more detail nearer the time but this is a summery for now.
All those using the system will need to download the app on the device/s they will have registered to the system to give access.”
My questions to them and their responses
“As there is to be no unit in the flats:

• What is the case for people with no phones? – Unfortunately there will be no access to the system, The system can be used by a landline or mobile if a person has neither we have previously advised to get a cheap pay as you go mobile and leave in the flat. This has worked on previous blocks.
  
• What is the case for people that simply do not wish to provide their personal number to an unknown company to be able to answer their door? - It is very unusual for someone not to provide a number to be attached to the system, it doesn’t have to be there personal number it could be again a sim card just for the door entry/intercom system.
  
• For people that do agree to have their number shared, what happens if their phone is lost? – if someone’s phone is lost we ask them to get in contact with us so the number can be deleted from the system”