I filed 5 claims previously, everyone of which got denied, rightfully so, there was no evidence aside from hearing tests that I failed during enlistment, and DOCS word. I filed for Muscle spasms, headaches, hearing loss + tinnitus, and a skin condition.
I have been dealing with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse since I’ve gotten out. So much so that my entire apartment was piss bottles, fast food bags, and important paperwork. I threw out 99% of all paperwork related to the marine corps, luckily I had a digital copy of my DD214 from a job app, and DOC has personally sent my med records to my moms address which saved those. The problem is I was dealing with this in the marine corps, and had gotten arrested during a RAM inspection at the gate @ 20, got into some trouble in Japan, and was in outpatient at or before 21, and let me fucking tell u I wish alcohol was never invented. I ended up popping on a piss test and my DD214 literally says drug abuse, but outside of that I have 0 evidence. I also complained about lower back problems, breathing problems, lost my front tooth, and I had a recurring dislocated, that dislocated multiple times in service as well as out. Not sure if I should appeal or file new claims first

Does anyone who has/currently works for the City of Frederick and or Frederick community college know what the pre-hire screening would look like for a summer camp counselor position? I don’t do drugs, but do they test for alcohol, marijuana, driving record etc? Thanks for any help.

The trifecta of failure that keeps people from engaging with /Zen has been consistently identified as:

Drugs

People that try to escape reality by intoxicating themselves cannot have a conversation about reality. In Zen this includes everyone from folks going out drinking "for a good time" to the Gnostic-y believers claiming that LSD/weed/mushrooms will give them supernatural insights into the nature of reality in the "tradition" of Aldous Huxley or Alan Watts.
None of that is Zen.
We have zero records of any Zen Master ever intoxicating themselves or affirming any substance-derived "insights".

Illiteracy

If you can't read at a high-school level or above, you can't have a conversation about the texts that Zen Masters wrote or the records of their instruction. This fact is a struggle for the Western Buddhists and New Agers coming to /Zen since their traditions do not have a textual component to them. For them, their religious practice is overwhelmingly about transformative mystical-experiences and meditative "states" and not at all one of public accountability. This disconnect between their personal religious beliefs and the Zen tradition of public accountability in the form of written conversation is a source of their struggling on this forum.

Cults

Cults are characterized by both a belief in a leader as the source of authoritative pronouncements to be followed without question as well as a lack of internal accountability to any set of secular ethics. Dogenism has throughout it's history of misrepresenting Zen has and continues to do so. The inability of people claiming affiliation with any of these institutions to delineate their religious catechism, acknowledge historical facts, and maintain internal ethical controls is how we know that it's as much a cult as Scientology.
Not Zen.

Not New in Zen

The hostility of illiterate cultists that intoxicate themselves with "altered states" isn't anything new to the Zen tradition.
The poetry contest the 5th Patriarch held to identify his successor, followed by various assasination attempts from the loser and meditation-worshipper Shenxiu's religious cult, and the failure of his cult to produce anything like dharma-combat cases shows how the trifecta of failure kept people from engaging with the Zen tradition then, and now.
For anyone not up to speed, here's some reading on this incident:

http://www.buddhism.org/the-platform-sutra-of-the-6th-patriarch-hui-neng/
http://home.pon.net/wildrose/gateless-23.htm

This is just to vent, I guess.
I initially messaged the nurse over the portal asking about weightloss options, I’ve since moved on from that discussion. What has me upset is that the nurse is still saying I’m not diabetic. At first they said they didn’t have access to records from a time when my a1c is in the diabetic range. Since being diagnosed, I played around with a restrictive (and unsustainable) diet and then transitioned to taking metformin & managing my diet to keep my a1c in check. Most of our communication is on the portal but they called me today to wrap it up and I can’t remember much of what was said. They offered having my a1c retested and I said I don’t understand how that would help the cause because of course my a1c would be normal because I’m being treated. They told me they did receive records from my PCP’s office, showing my a1c was 7.2 when I was initially diagnosed by my PCP.
This whole “debate” would have gone a lot smoother if they started it with “sorry, we don’t have you diagnosed with diabetes because all of our records don’t have bloodwork results that would indicate you meet the criteria for T2DM. Please have relevant records sent to us so we can get this straightened out” and ended it with “oh, sorry for the misunderstanding, we now have access to the records from when your a1c was 7.2 and we understand that you’re managing your diabetes with a diabetic-friendly diet & a diabetic drug” but that’s not how it’s gone, lol.
The summary of the most recent portal reply (they sent me today) was “endo ordered labwork at previous visit to confirm whether you are diabetic or not. The labwork does not indicate you are diabetic because your a1c was 5.4” like wtf. And they think he is prescribing metformin just for my PCOS (atleast this stupidity isn’t denying me my much needed prescription).
How does the fact that I manage my diabetes with diabetic treatments leave my diabetes diagnosis up to question? This is absurd. What, do they also want records from when I was like 12 to prove I have hypothyroidism too? I’ve only seen this endo 1 time and plan to switch my treatment over to another provider, but it’s stressing me out because there’s only 2 endos near me, and when my insurance changes I’ll probably have no choice but to see one of them for these needs. And I already know the other one sucks, I saw them as a teen.

Some might remember the recent post about a homeless man possibly ODing by Upside Cafe in Clifton. I identified him as “dreadlocks guy” and said that he was dangerous and to steer clear.
Some folks took great issue with this comment and argued that he should be left alone.
Well, he spent the last week going into shops and aggressively harassing workers and patrons. The police were called multiple times by both workers and shoppers who felt unsafe.
Today he was arrested, his mugshot can be found online as well as his record of previous Hamilton County arrests.
I do understand that issues surrounding addiction, homelessness, panhandling and mental illness are very polarizing. Unfortunately not all of these folks are safe to be around.
Fortunately you do not have to accept this behavior in your community. If you see illegal activity, call it in. It takes effort but we can have clean safe neighborhoods. Don’t let well meaning but misguided people gaslight you into thinking you don’t deserve a neighborhood free of drugs, addicts and abusive individuals.

Delivering the commencement address to the graduating seniors at Morehouse College today, President Joe Biden addressed the nation. After thanking the mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and all the people who helped the graduates get to the chairs in front of the stage, Biden recalled Morehouse’s history. The school was founded in 1867 by civil rights leader Reverend William Jefferson White with the help of two other Baptist ministers, the Reverend Richard C. Coulter and the Reverend Edmund Turney, to educate formerly enslaved men. They believed “education would be the great equalizer from slavery to freedom,” Biden said, and they created an institution that would make the term “Morehouse man” continue to stand as a symbol of excellence 157 years later. Then Biden turned to a speech that centered on faith. Churches talk a lot about Jesus being buried on Friday and rising from the dead on Sunday, he said, “but we don’t talk enough about Saturday, when… his disciples felt all hope was lost. In our lives and the lives of the nation, we have those Saturdays—to bear witness the day before glory, seeing people’s pain and not looking away. But what work is done on Saturday to move pain to purpose? How can faith get a man, get a nation through what was to come?” It’s a truism that anything that happens before we are born is equidistant from our personal experience, mixing the recent past and the ancient past together in a similar vaguely imagined “before” time. Most of today’s college graduates were not born until about 2002 and likely did not pay a great deal of attention to politics until about five years ago. Biden took the opportunity to explain to them what it meant to live through the 1960s. He noted that he was the first in his family to graduate from college, paid for with loans. He fell in love, got a law degree, got married and took a job at a “fancy law firm.” But his world changed when an assassin murdered the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King—a Morehouse man—and the segregated city of Wilmington, Delaware, erupted with fires, looting, fights, and occasional gunfire. For nine months, the National Guard patrolled the city in combat gear, “the longest stretch in any American city since the Civil War,” Biden recalled. “Dr. King’s legacy had a profound impact on me and my generation, whether you’re Black or white,” Biden explained. He left the law firm to become first a public defender and then a county councilman, “working to change our state’s politics to embrace the cause of civil rights.” The Democratic Party had historically championed white supremacy, but that alignment was in the process of changing as Democrats had swung behind civil rights and the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Biden and his cohort hoped to turn the Delaware Democratic Party toward the new focus on civil rights, he said. In 1972, Biden ran for the Senate and won…barely, in a state Republican president Richard Nixon won with 60% of the vote. Biden recalled how, newly elected and hiring staff in Washington, D.C., he got the call telling him that his wife and daughter had been killed in a car accident and that his two sons were gravely injured. The pain of that day hit again 43 years later, he said, when his son Beau died of cancer after living for a year next to a burn pit in Iraq. And he talked of meeting First Lady Jill Biden, “who healed the family in all the broken places. Our family became my redemption,” he said. His focus on family and community offered a strong contrast to the Republican emphasis on individualism. “On this walk of life...you come to understand that we don’t know where or what fate will bring you or when,” Biden said. “But we also know we don’t walk alone. When you’ve been a beneficiary of the compassion of your family, your friends, even strangers, you know how much the compassion matters,” he said. “I’ve learned there is no easy optimism, but by faith—by faith, we can find redemption.” For the graduates, Biden noted, four years ago “felt like one of those Saturdays. The pandemic robbed you of so much. Some of you lost loved ones—mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, who…aren’t able to be here to celebrate with you today…. You missed your high school graduation. You started college just as George Floyd was murdered and there was a reckoning on race. “It’s natural to wonder if democracy you hear about actually works for you. “What is democracy if Black men are being killed in the street? “What is democracy if a trail of broken promises still leave[s]…Black communities behind? “What is democracy if you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get a fair shot? “And most of all, what does it mean, as we’ve heard before, to be a Black man who loves his country even if it doesn’t love him back in equal measure?” The crowd applauded. Biden explained that across the Oval Office from his seat behind the Resolute Desk are busts of Dr. King and Senator Robert Kennedy, challenging Biden: “Are we living up to what we say we are as a nation, to end racism and poverty, to deliver jobs and justice, to restore our leadership in the world?” He wears a rosary on his wrist made of Beau’s rosary as a reminder that faith asks us “to hold on to hope, to move heaven and earth to make better days.” “[T]hat’s my commitment to you,” he said. “[T]o show you democracy, democracy, democracy is still the way.” Biden pledged to “call out the poison of white supremacy” and noted that he “stood up…with George Floyd’s family to help create a country where you don’t need to have that talk with your son or grandson as they get pulled over.” The administration is investing in Black communities and reconnecting neighborhoods cut apart by highways decades ago. It has reduced Black child poverty to the lowest rate in history. It is removing lead pipes across the nation to provide clean drinking water to everyone, and investing in high-speed internet to bring all households into the modern era. The administration is creating opportunities, Biden said, bringing “good-paying jobs…; capital to start small businesses and loans to buy homes; health insurance, [prescription] drugs, housing that’s more affordable and accessible.” Biden reminded the audience that he had joined workers on a picket line. To applause, he noted that when the Supreme Court blocked his attempt to relieve student debt, he found two other ways to do it. He noted the administration’s historic investment in historically black colleges and universities. “We’re opening doors so you can walk into a life of generational wealth, to be providers and leaders for your families and communities. Today, record numbers of Black Americans have jobs, health insurance, and more [wealth] than ever.” Then Biden directly addressed the student protests over the Israeli government’s strikes on Gaza. At Morehouse today, one graduate stood with his back to Biden and his fist raised during the president’s speech, and the class valedictorian, DeAngelo Jeremiah Fletcher, who spoke before the president, wore a picture of a Palestinian flag on his mortarboard and called for an immediate and permanent ceasefire in Gaza, at which Biden applauded. “In a democracy, we debate and dissent about America’s role in the world,” Biden said. “I want to say this very clearly. I support peaceful, nonviolent protest. Your voices should be heard, and I promise you I hear them.” “What’s happening in Gaza…is heartbreaking,” he said, with “[i]nnocent Palestinians caught in the middle” of a fight between Hamas and Israel. He reminded them that he has called “for an immediate ceasefire…to stop the fighting [and] bring the hostages home.” His administration has been working for a deal, as well as to get more aid into Gaza and to rebuild it. Crucially, he added, there is more at stake than “just one ceasefire.” He wants “to build a lasting, durable peace. Because the question is…: What after? What after Hamas? What happens then? What happens in Gaza? What rights do the Palestinian people have?” To applause, he said, “I’m working to make sure we finally get a two-state solution—the only solution—for two people to live in peace, security, and dignity.” “This is one of the hardest, most complicated problems in the world,” he said. “I know it angered and frustrates many of you, including my family. But most of all, I know it breaks your heart. It breaks mine as well. Leadership is about fighting through the most intractable problems. It’s about challenging anger, frustration, and heartbreak to find a solution. It’s about doing what you believe is right, even when it’s hard and lonely. You’re all future leaders, every one of you graduating today…. You’ll face complicated, tough moments. In these moments, you’ll listen to others, but you’ll have to decide, guided by knowledge, conviction, principle, and your own moral compass.” Turning back to the United States, Biden urged the graduates to examine “what happens to you and your family when old ghosts in new garments seize power, extremists come for the freedoms you thought belonged to you and everyone.” He noted attacks on equality in America, and that extremist forces were peddling “a fiction, a caricature [of] what being a man is about—tough talk, abusing power, bigotry. Their idea of being a man is toxic.” “But that’s not you,” he continued. “It’s not us. You all know and demonstrate what it really means to be a man. Being a man is about the strength of respect and dignity. It’s about showing up because it’s too late if you have to ask. It’s about giving hate no safe harbor and leaving no one behind and defending freedoms. It’s about standing up to the abuse of power, whether physical, economic, or psychological.” To applause, he added: “It’s about knowing faith without works is dead.” “The strength and wisdom of faith endures,” Biden said. “And I hope—my hope for you is—my challenge to you is that you still keep the faith so long as you can.” “Together, we’re capable of building a democracy worthy of our dreams…a bigger, brighter future that proves the American Dream is big enough for everyone to succeed.” “Class of 2024, four years ago, it felt probably like Saturday,” Biden concluded. “Four years later, you made it to Sunday, to commencement, to the beginning. And with faith and determination, you can push the sun above the horizon once more….” “God bless you all,” he said. “We’re expecting a lot from you.” — Notes: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/19/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-morehouse-college-class-of-2024-commencement-address-atlanta-ga/https://www.inquirer.com/news/a/wilmington-del-riots-occupation-martin-luther-king-jr-national-guard-20181207.htmlhttps://www.reuters.com/world/us/morehouse-graduation-thanks-god-woke-class-2024-2024-05-19/

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-19-2024

My ex and I are scheduled to go to court in 8 days for an evidentiary hearing in the state of Michigan. My ex's most recent ex girlfriend (we'll call her "Baby Mama") reached out to me this morning over concerns she has about her own children and our ex, I mentioned our court case and has volunteered to testify. If I am able to use her as a witness, what questions should I ask her? Is it a good idea to use her as a witness?
For context: my ex and I have one shared child. My ex is an alcoholic with multiple domestic violence cases and a PPO with Baby Mama. He and I have an abusive history as well, but I never called the cops, so there is no record of abuse. He is currently on probation for domestic violence and just had a court hearing over a probation violation 4 days ago. My ex and I are only allowed to contact each other over a court appointed app that may be monitored. I took my ex to court to establish parenting time and he was granted the state minimum parenting time, unless agreed upon. Since that court date, he has continued drinking and has been in jail numerous times. He got into a domestic violence situation with Baby Mama, which is the cause of the PPO. He recently told me, though the app, that he has moved into an apartment. He moved in with his now girlfriend (or not girlfriend? He's wishy-washy and it is irrelevant) who has called the cops on him constantly and has put him in jail for domestic violence. Her daughter called the cops on him in one instance. My ex was court ordered to attend therapy and go to a specific job agency during our parenting time case, and failed to do such things. I do believe he is in therapy and taking AA classes due to probation, but that is not something I can confirm with 100% confidence. I have reason to believe he is drunk around his children and even drives with them in the vehicle inebriated.
I have personally been able to maintain a job, maintain a home, and I've been stable ever since he and I split up almost 6 years ago. I have two other children that I have 100% of the time and provide for. I keep to myself and have no criminal record, nor do I have an alcohol or drug problem.
I guess my biggest thing is, will I be shooting myself in the foot if I use her as a witness? Do I even need her as a witness given his history? I need a lot of reassurance in this case.

So for context, from 1st-7th grade I was attending school in a district that is known to be in a bad area. The school adopted some extreme measures to deter fighting and other issues one of which was “if you are involved in a fight in any way, you get arrested and get a ticket.” Which is what happened to me on 2 occasions. Both occasions, I was bullied severely and got involved in altercations when standing up for myself (did not start the fight and only fought back when I had no other option, yes I tried to leave and walk away both times but was blocked off), both cases in court I paid no fines and was let off while the others involved were punished legally. Fast forward to MEPS, I was told juvenile records came up on a background check so I assumed they knew about it and I said I don’t have the court docs because they were basically thrown out by the court and it was 12-13 years ago and again, I was a child. They sent me home to get the court docs and I did, much to my recruiter’s annoyance. When choosing a job, basically all of my top jobs I was told I was disqualified for. Are they really that picky? Could it have been my biological father’s background too that came up? I’ve asked family and friends and recruiters and they all said that shouldn’t be why I was disqualified given the circumstances and that the school district screwed me with their no tolerance policy. (Note: MEPS did not tell me why specifically I got disqualified from those jobs, just that it was a background issue.)
There was a note for single drug use (marijuana) which my waiver was approved. I did not tell my recruiter, because it was 8 years ago one time with biological dad that is no longer part of my life he’s basically a ghost. My mother went with me and when I said no drug use (because there was nothing on record and no way it’d come up) my mom said “uh yes you did with you dad” and then I had to fill out the waiver. (Note: my mom did not have bad intention outing me like that, she’s just very honest and she thought if I lied about a single time drug use or anything else it would disqualify me and didn’t think it’d hold me back)

DAY: MAY 20 2024
5-20-2024

Why nightmares and ‘daymares’ could be early warning signs of autoimmune disease

An increase in nightmares and hallucinations—or ‘daymares’—could herald the onset of autoimmune diseases such as lupus, say an international team led by researchers at the University of Cambridge and King’s College London. The researchers argue that there must be greater recognition that these types of mental health and neurological symptoms can act as an early warning sign that an individual is approaching a “flare,” where their disease worsens for a period.
5-20-2024 Yoga and meditation-induced altered states of consciousness are common in the general population, study says
Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, and other practices are gaining in popularity due to their potential to improve health and well-being. The effects of these practices are mostly positive and occasionally transformational, yet they are known to sometimes be associated with challenging altered states of consciousness. New research by a team including investigators from Massachusetts General Hospital reveals that altered states of consciousness associated with meditation practice are far more common than expected. Although many people reported positive outcomes, that were sometimes even considered transformational, from these experiences, for a substantial
5-20-2024 Examining the benefits of out-of-network care for pediatric moyamoya
Total in-episode expenses and resource use before the index surgery (preop) and including/after the surgery (postop). The comparisons are separated for analysis into (A) single institution cohorts (1 and 2) and (B) multi?institution cohorts (3 and 4). Moyamoya disease is a rare condition that affects the blood vessels in the brain, especially in children. Narrowing and blockage of vessels significantly increases the risk of stroke and requires surgical revascularization for treatment. Although research shows that outcomes of revascularization are better
5-20-2024 Study explores links between social media use, mental health and sleep quality
The more time you spend on social media, the greater the likelihood of having unpleasant social-media related dreams that cause distress, sleep disruption and impact our peace of mind. Flinders University’s Reza Shabahang says that the vast and rapid adoption of social media has the potential to influence various aspects of life, including the realm of dreaming. “As social media becomes increasingly intertwined with our lives, its impact extends beyond waking hours, and may influence our dreams,”
5-20-2024 How are asthma and heart health linked?
Although the heart and lungs are neighbors in your chest, people may think of them as separate entities with unrelated problems. But a growing body of evidence suggests that asthma—one of the most common lung disorders—is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Asthma is a serious chronic disease in which airways are inflamed, often in response to specific triggers. It affects about 25 million people in the U.S., including nearly 5 million children, causing millions of annual visits to doctors’ offices and emergency rooms. “We call these major changes
5-20-2024 STUDY EXPLORES PATIENT TRUST IN PHYSICIANS
Trust in one’s physician drives positive health practices. In a scoping review, SUNY Poly Professor of Sociology Dr. Linda R. Weber discovered new developments in the measurement of trust, identified those measures of trust that have known reliability and validity, and compared those instruments’ conceptualizations, dimensions, and indicators. The paper is published in the journal PLOS ONE. Weber explains that 10 dimensions emerged from the study: fidelity, technical competence, communicative competence, interpersonal competence (i.e., caring), honesty, confidentiality, global, behavioral, fairness, and system trust/accountability. In addition, these findings provide the foundation
5-20-2024 TIMESAVING TIPS FOR COOKING HEALTHY MEALS
Living a busy, fast-paced life can make it hard to find the motivation to cook a healthy meal at home. However, learning some shortcuts in the kitchen can keep your healthy eating goals on track and help you avoid grazing on unhealthy snacks, grabbing the first thing you see in the fridge or going out for fast food. Why cook at home? Research shows that maintaining a healthy weight is challenging when you eat out too frequently. Restaurant portions often are super-sized
5-20-2024 UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE VS. MENOPAUSE
Menopause marks a significant transition for women, yet understanding its precursor, perimenopause, and its symptoms can be complex. Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of Mayo Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health and medical director of The Menopause Society, says experiencing perimenopause and menopause can be confusing for some. She says it is not only patients who may find it confusing, but medical providers as well, due to lack of training in menopause management. “Menopause is defined by no menstrual cycle for a year,” says Dr. Faubion.
5-20-2024 LOW-DOSE IRON SUPPLEMENTATION HAS NO BENEFIT FOR BREASTFED INFANTS, SHOWS STUDY
The American Pediatric Association recommends iron supplements to all healthy infants who breastfeed longer than four months, while its European counterpart, Society of Gastroenterology, Hepataology and Nutrition, does not recommend it. These deviating guidelines stimulated researchers to design a new study. Breastfeeding is strongly recommended, and the proportion of children are breastfed during the first half of life is high. The researchers wanted to determine whether breastfeeding babies could benefit from extra iron.
5-20-2024 ALLERGY MEDICATIONS COME WITH HAZARDS: BE AWARE
People with seasonal allergies often turn to over-the-counter and prescription medicines to relieve symptoms like coughing, sneezing, runny nose, congestion and itchy eyes, nose or throat. But they often aren’t aware that these meds—including antihistamines—have as much risk for potential side effects, drug interactions and overdose as other drugs. “All medicines have side effects associated with them even when they are taken appropriately and according to dosing directions on the label,”
5-20-2024 I CAN’T AFFORD OLIVE OIL—WHAT ELSE CAN I USE?
If you buy your olive oil in bulk, you’ve likely been in for a shock in recent weeks. Major supermarkets have been selling olive oil for up to A$65 for a four-liter tin, and up to $26 for a 750 milliliter bottle. We’ve been hearing about the health benefits of olive oil for years. And many of us are adding it to salads, or baking and frying with it. But during a cost-of-living crisis, these high prices can put olive oil out of reach. Let’s take a look at why
5-20-2024 Researchers uncover biological trigger of early puberty
Heather Brenhouse, associate professor of psychology, says disrupting the caretaker relationship can really traumatize a child or a developing rodent. Credit: Ruby Wallau/Northeastern University New research conducted by the Brenhouse Lab reveals how early life adversity triggers early puberty and late-life anxiety, paving the way for potential interventions. The onset of puberty has been creeping downward for decades. In the United States, the average age of girls reaching puberty ranges from 8.8 to 10.3 years old. The early start of puberty, which is associated with many health risks, can be
5-20-2024 Bioluminescence and 3D-printed implants shed light on brain–spinal interactions
Brain-spinal cord duet’s neurodynamic symphony is now accessible to scientists via novel multi-organ implants. Credit: Dmitrijs Celinskis A sensory process such as pain is no ordinary phenomenon—it’s a symphony of neural and vascular interactions orchestrated by the brain and spinal cord. Attempting to dissect this symphony by focusing on a single region is like trying to understand a complex melody by listening to just one instrument. It’s incomplete, potentially misleading, and may result in erroneous conclusions. Enter the Carney Institute’s team of visionaries. Their mission? To develop tools that allow
5-20-2024 New thesis explores cancer treatment that can prevent relapse
. What is the main focus of your thesis? Relapse following initial treatment efficacy remains a major clinical challenge for many cancers. The focus of my thesis has been to explore the therapeutic impact of immune cells in patients with blood cancer (leukemia), by first investigating which cells
5-20-2024 New study reveals health and social benefits of car-free living
Participating in a three-week car-free challenge has enhanced the health and well-being of Oxford residents, according to research conducted by The University of Bath’s Centre for Climate Change and Social Transformations (CAST), in partnership with climate charity Possible and Low Carbon Oxford North (LCON), conducted this research project. After ditching their cars for three weeks, 10 out of the 12 drivers across Oxford who participated said they plan to continue with reduced car use beyond the project. The findings of this research project show that: Day-to-day transport emissions were slashed
5-20-2024 Research shows linked biological pathways driving skin inflammation
A certain biological pathway—a set of linked reactions in the body—drives the inflammation seen in the skin disease psoriasis, a new study finds. The work could lead to improved therapies for all inflammatory skin diseases, including atopic and allergic dermatitis and a type of boil called hidradenitis suppurativa, say the study authors. The findings are published in the journal Immunity. Inflammation is the body’s natural response to irritation and infection, but when out of control, it can lead to the reddish, flaky, itchy lesions that
5-20-2024 Prescription co-payments linked to more hospital admissions in New Zealand, study finds
A new study from researchers cautions that bringing back the $5 co-payment for prescription medicines could see a jump in hospital admissions. The study analyzed health data for 71,502 people and found those who didn’t pick up a prescription because they couldn’t afford the $5 fee had a 34% higher rate of being admitted to hospital.
5-20-2024 How a simulation is informing COVID-19 vaccine policy after our ‘return to normal’
As the saying goes “There is no such thing as normal” and this has been especially true after the pandemic. Before the emergence of the omicron COVID-19 variant, countries like the U.K. had high vaccination coverage along with widespread exposure to COVID-19 in the population. This combination of vaccine and infection-derived immunity is termed hybrid immunity and is different to vaccine immunity or infection immunity alone. In contrast, other countries, including Australia, New Zealand and those in the Western Pacific, had a very different pandemic experience.
5-20-2024 Researchers find intriguing connections between Alzheimer’s disease and other common conditions
A study has found that while some medical conditions appear to increase our likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, others appear to decrease the odds. The study, led by Dr. Yijun (Nicholas) Pan and Dr. Liang Jin, analyzed data from 2,443 older Australians living in Melbourne or Perth who are part of the Australian Imaging, Biomarker and Lifestyle (AIBL) study, an internationally recognized cohort for dementia research. “We found anxiety and other neurological disorders are associated with increased likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Pan said.
5-20-2024 Prepping autistic or sound-sensitive kids for cicada noise
As Chicagoans await the emergence of the cicadas, parents of children on the autism spectrum and/or who have sensitivities to sound can take a few steps to prepare for what is expected to be a loud summer. “Some children on the spectrum can struggle with loud or unexpected noises, such as toilets that automatically flush, fireworks around the Fourth of July or the emergence of a large number of cicadas,”
5-20-2024 Study highlights importance of screening for rare inherited iron metabolism defects
Over 40% of cases curated based on stringent clinical and laboratory criteria from the Indian subcontinent have an inherited iron metabolism defect on comprehensive genomic evaluation, report investigators in The Journal of Molecular Diagnostics. Although iron deficiency anemia is the most prevalent form of anemia globally,
5-20-2024 Study finds tyrosine kinase Csk promotes germinal center B cell survival and affinity maturation
The authors found that Csk (a tyrosine kinase that attenuates B cell receptor signaling) is required for germinal center maintenance and efficient antibody maturation. The immune system strikes a fine balance by identifying and neutralizing disease-causing agents while carefully avoiding destruction of healthy tissues and cells. Now, researchers from Japan have shed new light on one of the processes that helps train immune cells to act only against genuine threats.
5-20-2024 Significant gaps between science of obesity and the care patients receive, say experts
As research continues to produce evidence about the underlying causes of obesity and optimal strategies to treat and manage obesity have evolved, there are disparities in application of the latest scientific advances in the clinical care that people with obesity receive. Widespread adoption of current findings, consistency of care and expertise in obesity care varies by health care professional and institution.
5-20-2024 Improving online depression treatment
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I know that for example in Japan, they are even installing a barrier to obstruct the view of Mt. Fuji, because the nearby towns (and a Lawson) are starting to get fed up with an overflow of tourists who stop at one particular spot just to take pictures of the mountain. That is not the only issue with the overflow of tourists within their country, in Kyoto specifically, it is way too crowded. What annoys me the most is them taking pictures of Geisha everywhere, I get it they want to snap a picture, but keep in mind that they are humans and need some space. (They are now issuing a ¥10000 fine for violators.)
Especially with the geisha, like “Leave them alone, geez!” (Give them the right for privacy at least!) They do not like an iPhone right in front of their faces just to be snapped all the time, the thing is that Kyoto is highly dependent on tourist revenue but the local populace ain’t having it, as there are cases of people obstructing roads, tourists filling in the seats on local buses or public transportation that the locals there use daily, most of the demographic living there are old people. (senior citizens) They are even banning tourists on entering Geisha (or Maiko) districts.
During the time Logan Paul visited Japan was the worst, as he went to the suicide forest and recorded footage of a DEAD BODY then proceed to laugh, he took the video down after receiving a ton of backlash. He's not the only one, Johnny Somali also did some shit that landed him in jail, such as entering a construction site, using a random guests room number to get himself 'free' breakfast without realizing that guest will be billed upon them checking out, all due to his stupid actions. Streamers like him who visit Japan are just dumb, taking advantage of others.
Japan is now enforcing stricter rules regarding filming in public, there are even businesses that forbid both video and photography, so no streaming IRL. In general, Japanese are fed up and pissed off about tourists who disrespect their customs or completely disregard their culture, there are even foreigners who throw trash on the floor (due to Japan not having bins everywhere, even in public, they only exist at designated areas) so you have no choice but to carry your trash with you. They even throw trash not from the konbini into their bins!
Even cities such as Osaka or Hakone are imposing tourism taxes, to curb their presence. Since Japan is one of the countries Westerners fetishize a lot, weeaboos think the country is like anime, but it does not mean that people there act like anime characters. There are instances of foreigners bringing in medication or drugs that are banned or deemed illegal (like medical marijuana / ADHD pills) in Japan but not in their home countries, so that means they are subjected to prison and deportation, like... come on, do some research about the country you are traveling to prior to entering their soil.
here are even sacred sites in Japan (like shrines or temples) that have been vandalized, desecrated all because of tourist interaction, which is sad because it’s damaged, losing the integrity on why it’s important. There was a bamboo forest in which someone CARVED their initials on it, like “Don’t destroy the bamboo!” It pisses me off that they desecrate a site you are NOT meant to be treading on at all.
In hindsight:

• Does the Netherlands have an over tourism problem? If so, how bad is it?
• Are there instances of behaviors coming from tourists that annoy Dutch people to the point the authorities are cracking down on bad behavior imposing harsher penalties or deportation?
• Do you know any cases in where tourists have desecrated an important landmark, monument vital to Dutch history or culture?
• Do you know any sites that often get photographed way too often that people are considering on creating a barricade to obstruct the view of said place or site?

So this idea just popped in my head. An ex-SAS Harry gets involved in the Ginza Incident while buying souvenirs for Teddy. At first he sticks to scavenged weapons and stealthily conjured bullets. He manages to fight and evac as many civvies as he could until he finds himself in the middle of a heavily monitored street.
Now, he can't use visible magic but he is well known amongst his muggle associates for being able to achieve feats of superhuman proportions by basically flooding his body with his magic (muscles, nerves, ligaments, bones, etc.).
Hemione agreed to writing a doctor's note saying that he can willingly trigger his innate Hysterical Strength when under a certain amount of duress to explain it away to nonmagicals. For why his body doesn't suffer the backlash of using it? Well, he's trained hard to keep abusing it with diminished consequences. Also, adrenaline is one hell of a drug.
So, end result; the Japanese got to watch how just one foreign stranger singlehandedly held the line using a goddamn medieval fantasy war scythe of all thing against an invading medieval fantasy army until the JSDF finally came to his backup to the sight of a small hill of corpses and the glowing green eyes of the Reaper that sent them to the afterlife.
He promptly passed out after that.
Yes, this incident got recorded and spread throughout the net. It wouldn't be a HP story if he didn't have accidental fame. They call him the Reaper of Ginza now. Some more enterprising netizens even found his (admittedly fake) identity of Jameson Black; former SAS Captain.
[Well, there goes his fucking anonymity in the real world]
So, one thing leads to another and while he was asleep from overtaxing himself, the typical JSDF gate mobilisation happens but this time with the Japanese MOM involved. On the other hand, with the major players on UN getting uppity over a 'balanced foreign presence' in the Special Region, the Japs contact UK and basically saying:
"Could we borrow one of your elite guys? It's the insane one who was on vacation here and turned a quarter of Caesar's Legion LARPers into caesar salad with the power of the Queen and Anime on his side. Thanks."
So now, Harry has to head into the Special Region with Itami's group.
[And all this shit cuz Teddy wanted a couple fucking Gundams while he was here]

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

This is an abridged version of a 7,000+ word monstrosity spanning 4 campaigns, have fun! And TW for misogyny and human trafficking/slavery. Most of us were new to 5e, and signed up for a paid online DnD group during the start of Covid. There were 2 campaigns running simultaneously DMed by Enabler and his wife (who is really sweet and not the problem.) Deren started a free Phandelver game, then eventually Manipulator who was the director of the group started a campaign as well. Most of the cast played in all 4 games, but I couldn’t join Deren’s because of scheduling. Most of the drama happened in the campaign ran by Enabler which I’ll call the A-Men.
Cast:
Luno - a human Twilight Cleric. Cool dude.
Corgi - Didn’t play with the A-Men, but played a dwarf Battle Smith in the campaign parallel to ours. Wife to Luno irl. Cool lady.
Deren - half-elf Grave Cleric. Also cool dude.
Me - played a goliath Tempest Cleric
Dick - A perpetually drunk, arrogant asswipe. Played a warforged artificer.
Enabler - DM for the A-Men.
Manipulator - The main directoowner of the paid group.
Things started out nice in Enabler’s campaign, Luno, Deren, and I became fast friends and loved roleplaying with each other. But pretty soon the difficulty of combat started getting very difficult, and Enabler was forcing us to fight in encounters that would’ve been balanced for a party more than triple our level. As in, we as a level 2 party managed to take on an orc war chief, 2 ogres, an Eye of Gruumsh, and 5 or so orcs all in a cramped basement. The only way we were able to not die was by the 3 clerics spamming Healing Word on each other like whack-a-mole. This campaign and the group as a whole was marketed as “D&D for Beginners,” and we were all new to the game. At the time I didn’t realize how absurd the encounters were, I just thought it was my fault for being bad at the game. I don’t know why, but Enabler really wanted to kill all our characters… except for Dick’s.
Let me just get this out of the way first: Dick, was a dick. He would come to sessions sloshed, and continue drinking all game. He tried to get two different parties TPK’ed for no reason. He’d spout a bunch of racist and homophobic “jokes” that were very clearly not jokes. Oh, and he cheated, like, a lot. None of us liked him, but Enabler treated him like a golden child. None of us know why. He was showered with magical items and thousands of more gold than any of the rest of us. He was allowed to use busted homebrew none of the rest of us were. And most infuriatingly, he was allowed to cheat, more or less in the open. He’d fudge dice, even in DnD Beyond where his rolls were recorded. Hi warforged had higher health and stats than anyone, was allowed to use both a shield and a 2-handed rifle simultaneously, had more infusions than was allowed, and “mixed up” the loading and reloading properties between Eberron’s guns and Critical Role’s Bad News so he was allowed to do about 30 damage per turn, while the rest of us were doing about 5. Again, since all of us were new, we didn’t realize the blatant cheating till months later, and thought we just had to git gud.
Weirdly enough, Enabler never seemed to target Dick with his monsters. Couldn’t afford to risk scratching his favorite player’s gold-plated ass, certainly not! But for whatever reason my characters especially drew the Enabler’s ire. My cleric had chainmail and a shield so she was pretty tanky, and I guess he didn’t like that? During the basement orc fight he complained that he couldn’t put her down. I thought he was joking at the time, but looking back… yeah he wasn’t. Eventually I got tired of spending 3-4 hours unconscious so I took a level in Fighter to gain the Defense style for +1 AC. I was not hit by a single attack for the rest of the campaign. Everywhere the party went, regardless of the setting or context, every time we rolled initiative a mass of enemy clerics would spawn in and pelt me with 4-6 Sacred Flames and down my character within the first round or so. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. In a wizard’s tower? Clerics. Robbing a vault? Cleric are sitting in the vault. Keep in mind that Dick’s AC has been about 25 through all this because shenanigans.
Turns out Enabler was an asshole and a misogynist in his own right. He completely disregarded all female players in either his or his wife’s campaign (they were basically the same campaign, with the same plot and setting). Rarely responded to questions about the rules from me, and never bothered to send Corgi (who was playing a dwarf) his homebrew dwarf lore, even though the whole setting revolved around dwarves. Corgi found out about the dwarf lore through Luno. He asked me to write the worldbuilding for the goliaths, which I was happy to do. I researched the Poetic and Prose Eddas to make a culture based off the Jotunn, sent it to him, and he approved it. Wan’t till months later that I learned he scrapped the whole thing. Also, he rewrote my character’s backstory and never even bothered to tell me until (again) months later, in the middle of a session. I was the only girl in the A-Men. Shocker.
There were also only 2 friendly female NPCs the entire campaign, one of which was unconscious basically the whole time we knew her. But all those clerics we were mowing down? All Lolth cultists. Same goes for literally any other enemy spellcasters throughout the campaign (except for any Intelligence casters, those were men, of course.) Oh yeah, and he also made a human trafficking ring, just for my character! Basically he wanted the party to sell my character into slavery in order to progress the plot. Fun. Thankfully they didn’t do that (absolute Chads). This wasn’t in the other version of the campaign, of course.
Things finally ended when Dick tried to TPK the party again, and Enabler took the opportunity to try and kill the party once and for all. He triggered all encounters in the entire dungeon at once while our party was stuck in a pair of long hallways. My character was downed within the first round as usual from 6 Sacred Flames, got most of the party low with about 4 groups of 3-6 enemies each, then had the pair of bosses cast cloudkill and insect plague in the same area at the same time, then summoned a Barlgura. Despite Dick’s protests, the rest of the party drug my unconscious character out of the spell blender, turned around, and left the dungeon.
A few days after the session we got together and I posted a message on the group’s Discord detailing Dick’s cheating, and that I didn’t want to play with him anymore. I didn’t even mention my personal gripes with Enabler. Immediately I get a message from Manipulator, asking me to jump into a voice call with him and Enabler. Alarm bells start ringing in the back of my head, and ask if the other players can join as well. Enabler disappeared, and wouldn’t talk unless I was alone. Of course, a few days later when we did all get together to talk over voice chat, I was the problem player. Manipulator scolded me for not being communicative with Enabler. Luno immediately yelled “Bullshit!” Reminder, Enabler ignored all my messages and wouldn’t talk with women in the group. Luno, Corgi, and Deren all stood up for me (again, absolute Chads.) And Luno is a pretty quiet guy, and that was the only time I’ve ever heard him yell. There was a lot more going on with Manipulator, he sold us fake stickers, tried to get Corgi and Luno to work for him for free, and was a nightmare DM all on his own, but that’s a story for another time.
We all jumped ship after that, and I hear things got pretty nasty on the VC after I left. Apparently we were the first of several mass exoduses out of that group. Now we have our own free group and play often. Since then Corgi and Luno more or less adopted me as part of their family. We spend holidays together, they attended my college graduation, the whole nine yards. The lot are the sweetest people you could meet. Happy ending!

Wife had an affair at work
My wife had an affair, it started emotional last January and turned physical in May, I’m devastated and don’t know how to move forward, we have two young kids. Here’s the details.
Friend at work complains about his wife, eventually asks my wife for a drink She tells me, I warn her he’s interested in more than a friendship, she’s convinced he’s not, declines the drink and agrees not to meet him for coffee or talk outside of work anymore (they have a Starbucks at work that they’d meet; I’m not the jealous type because we both have mixed friends and it’s no big deal)
January 2024 comes around, I see her deleting Instagram messages. She admits it’s him, but only friends, hiding it to not hurt my feelings. She gaslights me, says I’m overreacting, tells her mom I’m overreacting because it’s just a friend, etc February 2024 I check the phone records, the previous May they texted 2000+ times and then went dark. I push and she admits it was physical. They started kissing May 2023 before our daughter turned 1, had sex June 2023 (while she was still breastfeeding), had sex at our house while I was on a work trip, but mostly had sex in her office. Never wore protection because he had a vasectomy. Allegedly they stopped having sex by September, but they met up everyday she was in the office, kissed, and said I love you.
Other fun fact: he and his family came to my house for a bbq after they had already kissed for the first time.
Apparently they cut it off in January when I caught them. I am devastated. I love my daughters and life, but just can’t grasp how this was ever possible. I was her first, took her virginity.
We’ve had a rough go between Covid (she was very strict with quarantine) and having 2 kids.
Now I hear from her and her mom about how rough the marriage was, all of these specific examples of when we had disagreements, how she felt lonely, etc.
I know our marriage was far from perfect and I am partially to blame, I used Covid + kids as a explanation to myself and said things would get better as we got through that and the newborn stage. My job was time consuming, but I work from home, rarely travel, and almost always cooked dinner + picked the kids up from school.
I’m really having difficulty processing the lies, gaslighting, and the affair in general. I knew something was off - I actually thought she was on drugs (she’s never smoked pot); explained away the random t shirt I found as her brothers or something when he stayed. The hickies and scratches on her back once’s as the baby biting her or something. I feel so stupid.
The other part that bothers me so much is that she was able to go to work, have sex with this guy, kiss him, say I love you and then come home and act like nothing happened. I also hate that she’d let this guy touch her body and then breastfeed our daughter when she got home. Had her jewelry I gave her, including wedding band on her while having sex + sending nudes.
He is also married with 3 kids. I trusted my wife implicitly, it’s always what got me through the rough times with her - that’s gone and I don’t know what to do.
She’s in therapy but “using it to survive” and not actually working on herself; hasn’t identified areas for improvement. I’m also in therapy since before this due to the stresses of life and childhood trauma. We occasionally do joint sessions.
I can’t imagine sharing custody of my kids and not seeing them daily, but I am really having trouble moving forward.
I needed to vent, but appreciate any advice on how to get through this. I’m just so so sad and disappointment, not so much mad - there were a few outbursts over this but it’s tapered off to sadness. Almost 4 months into learning about this.

The abusive words, sexist words, are that I could only be rich if I agreed to be porn star and hooker (new ones) until I died. Next issue, why is it ok if THEY talk about time machine, but forbidden if I consider how one MIGHT have been used to make my life worse? They called people who contacted me for other jobs for a long time, so I won't get hired soon. While I am harasssed, then I will survive by the Will of Divine.
Abusive words? How could ANY guy I haven't actually had any conversations with be "madly in love" with me? He's said to be a drug dealer? Then that means he's being exploited by drug addict with access to an old HDD that I USED to use so used old email. Scam artist wasn't me! It should be obvious to everyone watching. Besides why did I have to PRETEND twins born in 2001 are his, or that I wasn't married AT ALL before that? Nope. Love isn't growing when lies are important. No man calls someone he loves a porn star and lets them get insulted every day!
Do they call me crazy for time machine comment? Why aren't they considered crazy for thinking a woman with college degrees WANTS to be poor, on welfare, or porn star or sex worker?? THAT"S CRAZY and I am tired of the narcissistic behavior that local people think is "cool". I really am. I'm tired of people who KNOW that certain kids ain't mind, but still saying I am because they photoshopped some of her records to use with my name??
Facts: sex workers (M/F/other) are the lowest paid women and worst treated of all. FACTS: porn actresses and actors are paid nothing because the film production companies make the most $. FACTS: brothels should be illegal wordwide except for ones regulated to prevent additional crimes. FACTS: JUST STOP pretending that I'm sleazy when I'm not.
Return what doesn't belong to you ASAP. God is watching and you know it was taken on purpose and it took effort on your part. The biggest effort was NOT teling me, but telling rest of the world. Biggest proof that information was meant to cause HARM. Malicious use of information if harmful.
Today, a former dental hygeniest, AL, might use her contacts at dental offices to prevent dental care for my son (like she has since he turned 20) because she might have used my name off and on. I stayed AWAY from Jax upon hearing she used myname at UF Dental Clinic Christmas party from myparents! Did she use old gold jacket after it was trashed in 2000 move because I WORKED AT RE-MAXin NJ? Wasn't she promised if she wore it that she would get rich by that guy I married in 1997, but says it was her instead? Connected scammers making me look sleazy after I wasn't. Who has the jacket right now? I KNOW they saved it for "their special museum" because in another timeline I am/was doing very good. They brag AL (as JL) controls the $ (in unethical bank account) that prevents my son from getting treatment for dental pain? Why does she deserve to live by killing others? #dentalcare Corruption and #organizedcrime Why was my family on Medicaid at any point and time BESIDES identity fraud? Because forged documents existed and people embezzled to buy designer clothes and shit they couldn't afford otherwise.

The below is my analysis and I would like to share it with you for your opinions and insights. Please feel free to correct my mistakes with references, since I am certain that I am always missing something.
House and Bloodline: Lysander comes from house Au Lune, which was established by Silenius of the same bloodline. Which means genetically Lysander is a part of Silenius. And when speaking of genetics I believe that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Hence knowing what Silenius has done during his time, I don't think that Lysander would be any better.
Background: With the information that we already know, we are aware that earth's population were "the last natural born humans" which means they had no colors and no carvings. I am not sure if we know when was the -start- of the carvings and when did people decide to implement color coding into people to create the current hierarchy, but I am going to assume that it would be prior to the Conquering Era, and probably few hundred years at the very least. Because when war started, "Many notable golds established themselves and their familial houses for centuries to come" which means that the making of this culture was already cooking for a while and they had a structure that was already culture and tradition. You might want to argue that The Sons of Ares has mentioned " The Conquering occurred within a hundred years of Luna first being colonized", however, I presume that color grading and carving has starting before the colonization of Luna.
Revelations: The year 5 PCE, which is only 5 years (allegedly) after the society has won the war on earth and "Breaking the chains" that earth's held upon them. Silenius ;and probably other political parties; have agreed to purge earth's population by "dropping Solocene into the Earth's troposphere". One might argue Lune's perspective for taking such decision shortly after conquering, however, his motives and intentions become much clearer when we realize that he decided to create "Eidmi". Whichever perspective you choose to look at, this man was... a very angry man. He was obsessed with and/or afraid to lose control, he needed to be in control of everything, probably because he had an ideology of how the society is "supposed to be" or probably some other reasons, but he was looking for a guaranteed result, had he decided to take action. Which brings me to some questions that are yet to be answered:
More than 700 years ago, the idea of Eidmi surfaced, whether Silenius and Akari verbally mentioned it to anyone or not, it was written and recorded in the vault of the sovereign (as mentioned by Atlas) by someone from that time and it was kept as a "secret?"

• If he already had the technology, why didn't Silenius try to recreate it?
• If the vault was accessible to the entire lines of sovereigns, why didn't any of them try to recreate it? if not search for it?
• When Darrow was on the way to Athena, he was drugged by the gas "that doesn't affect Reds", is he considered a 100% gold now and wouldn't get affected by Eidmi for the reds?
  • If Darrow is indeed a gold now, and Virginia is as well by default, how is Pax biologically "Unclassified"?
• Sevro is biologically born from both Gold and Red genes*, what is his technical definition?

Despite of the technicalities, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If Papa Lune was indeed as described above, pixie Lune will not be much different.