Hello again velo, It's me. The guy that rides uphill in Japan. On my last post I mentioned some differences in racing in Japan saying it was for another post. Well, there appeared to be some interest in me making that post. As I mentioned then... I tend to ramble. I'm an English teacher at a small high school which leaves me with a lot of free time. I enjoy spending that time researching anything from training methodology to obscure Japanese history. I decided to use some of that time to write about road racing in Japan and it turned into... well, whatever this is. It's (sort of) a guide to racing your bike over here. I've organized it into sections, so feel free to read it all or skip through them. At the end I've attached racing adjacent notes as well as a small bio.
If this post is not appropriate for this subreddit, I understand. And while I don't want to self-promote I spend most of my time reading about Japan not only because I live here, but also because my wife and I host a podcast. We mostly ramble about our lives here as foreigners. It's mostly cultural, but as long time competetive cyclists we often talk about bikes too. We host a website where I write random articles, which is where this is ultimately hosted, with photos. If you're curious you can google my username and find us.
I tried to think about things I've learned along the way and put it into writing for anyone in the future that might move to Japan and have an interest in racing. If you have any questions or see any information gaps, feel free to ask! In September we'll be moving to the Netherlands... so maybe I'll have to do this all over again then. Anyway, without further rambling, here it is.
Race License
There are actually quite a lot of road events throughout the country. However, many are marketed towards recreational cyclists. Going as far as incorporating anti-competition clauses in their rules. So what do you do if you want to race? For starters, you’ll head to the Japan Cycling Federation’s website and register for a license. It’s in Japanese, but with the magic of Google Translate it shouldn’t be too hard to navigate. This is also for those currently residing in Japan. I think otherwise you would need an international license issued from your country’s governing body.
While on their website you can check the calendar of events that are scheduled. But, it’s not as simple as where I am from (USA) where once you have a license you can register yourself for almost any event and just show up.
Race Organizers
In most cases while the JCF is the licensing body, they are not the event coordinator. Events are hosted by a number of different governing bodies within the country. There’s the Japan Intercollegiate Cycling Federation (JICF), Japan Cycling League (JCL), prefectural federations such as the Yamaguchi Cycling Federation and finally the Japan Bicyclist Club Federation (JBCF). There are a lot of Js, Cs and Fs in the acronym lexicon over here. In this post I’ll be focusing on the JBCF because it was sold to me as Japan’s premier race organizer and the highest level of racing in Japan. It also seems to have the most robust calendar of events.
Declaration of my bias and shortcoming: The JBCF is the only organizer I’ve had any meaningful experience with. No, they’re not paying me. However I have won a cool towel, a coffee cup and some bar tape at their events. Actually I’ve given them quite a bit of money…
Teams
So you’ve got your JCF license and like me you’ve decided to participate in the JBCF. What’s next? Register for a JBCF account, sign up for events, race your bike? Almost. You do need to register for an account. After that, you need to find a team. That’s right, you need to be registered with a JBCF team to participate in races. This was a surprise to me and also a barrier to entry at first. As a new resident of Japan I didn’t know anyone here let alone a team that would let a random foreigner join.
How’d I do it then? Well, the first team I joined was through a friend of a friend of a friend. My second and current team I ended up getting to know because I took a bunch of KOMs around my new home. I guess Strava KOMs are worth something after all. If you’re looking for a team you could start by asking local shops, they often have a club organization that you can sign up for. If you’re desperate you can also make your own team. It used to only require two people, but I think they increased that to three or four.
Costs
I’m writing this in May of 2024, so the costs will be current as of that month. The USD to JPY conversion is sitting around 1 USD = 155 JPY.
Your first cost will be the JCF license fee. In my case, an elite rider over 23 years old, it was 5,000y for an e-license and 6,300y for the physical one. My first year I used the e-license, but my second year I paid for the physical one as a cool souvenir.
Beyond the license. You’ll need a team kit (bibs & jersey) and you may also be required to pay the athlete registration fee. To join my E1 team in 2024 I paid 43,000 yen. That included one team kit and the registration fee plus some small accessories (gloves, bottle, etc.). In E1 I paid all my own entry fees, which were approximately 8,500y per race.
My JPT experience was a special case. I paid roughly $1,200 (usd). But I received two kits (jerseys & bibs), a speed suit (SS skinsuit), windbreaker, vest, socks, etc. I also had the benefit of the “pro” treatment at races with lots of assistance. Was it a cold rainy day? I could ask for embro and they’d oil me up with a little massage. Needed a bike wash, snacks, or a trainer to warm up on? All provided. And all of my entry fees were covered. I never paid those out of pocket. It was a really cool experience and honestly I think I got my money's worth just in the races that I attended, let alone all the extras. Plus the team was above and beyond hospitable. A really great bunch of people.
Categories
Once you’re on a team you’re good to go! So which category should you race in? The JBCF has 5 big categories: Japan Pro Tour (JPT), Japan Elite Tour (JET), Japan Feminin Tour (F), Japan Youth Tour (Y1 & Y2), and the Japan Masters Tour (M). JET is further broken down into E1, E2 & E3. The general idea is male riders start as E3 and through results they work their way up to E1. If they’re highly motivated they’ll target a placement on a JPT Team.
Unfortunately for the women, I believe there is only one lump “Female” category. But in one of my most recent races a woman lined up with us for our race start. So that may be an option. For the Youth there’s U19 & U17. Masters is similar to the women’s category and I believe there is simply one “Masters” event, without age ranges.
Using what I know (USA Cycling Categories) I’ll try to make a comparison. E3 is your Cat 4/5 or Novice rank. E2 is around Cat 3/4 and E1 is roughly one big P/1/2/3 field. JPT is something like the US’s Domestic Elite field. Some JPT teams (and even some E1 teams) are UCI Continental teams. Although, honestly, some JPT riders are probably equivalent to strong Cat 3s.
In America I raced as a Cat 2 on the road, albeit I was a pretty weak 2. My first year in Japan I raced JPT and was able to hang in the peloton and finish events. My second year I raced as an E1, where I was very competitive and able to fight for podium finishes. That’s my experience and my basis for the above comparisons.
Events
Once you’ve got all the above figured out, it’s time to finally race! The JBCF organizes the following events: Road, Criterium, Hill Climb, Time Trial and Track. Criterium, Time Trial & Track are pretty similar to what you’d find anywhere else in the world. So for this post I’ll really just focus on Road and Hill Climb.
It’s worth noting that except for track, all of these events take place on public roads. But, unlike the USA, it seems the general rule in Japan is that for a race to be a “race” the roads need to be closed to traffic. Sounds great, right? Right! Or, mostly. Japan is a beautiful country with incredible scenery and fantastic road riding. Unfortunately, the JBCF uses very little of this. I think to minimize inconveniencing locals, cut costs, and make their lives easier, most of these events will take place on already closed circuits or around agricultural land (where no one lives or drives anyway). In practice they are “public” roads, but they only need to shut down one or two entrances to close off the entire loop.
Many “road” events are just very long short circuit races. A popular venue that hosts multiple races throughout the season is the Gunma Cycle Sports Center. This is a defunct cycling theme park built in the 1980s with a paved 6 km circuit. Some of the races in the higher categories can be up to 150 km! That’s 25 laps! And, they’ll be pulling riders. When I was racing JPT it was often a big accomplishment just to finish a race. It was a common occurrence for a break to get established with the big teams represented and the rest of the field to sit up, inevitably getting pulled before being lapped. It’s not uncommon for well over half of the field to DNF early on in these longer races. Sometimes to add a little spice to your life, they’ll run the course in the opposite direction one weekend.
So, I’m biased, but that style of “road racing” wasn’t for me. That’s what led me to the Hill Climb. At first, I thought it was just an uphill TT. But, it's a mass start! The last one I did was Mt. Ontake HC which was a 17.7km race gaining 1,150 meters in elevation finishing at an altitude just under 2,200m. I finished in 51 minutes. It’s more like an uphill criterium. You might explode, but you won’t get pulled. It’s also, of course, point to point.
Good things to know about a Hill Climb are the controlled descent and luggage delivery. When you finish you’ll be waiting at the top of the climb for all other riders and categories to finish. Sometimes this means you’re waiting for an hour or more! Thankfully the morning of the race you can give a bag to the organizers and they will deliver it to the top of the mountain. This is a great way to make sure you have extra layers and snacks waiting for you. Just make sure it’s packed in a bag that you can then easily carry with you on the descent.
Be extra mindful of the forecast. At Ontake in 2024 we started at the base of the mountain in temperatures around 16 celsius. At the summit it was 7 degrees and it started to rain! Thankfully I had a teammate who had driven to the top (you must register your vehicle) and he gave me a lift back down. If you’re riding down, the descent will be done in waves which are chaperoned and controlled by officials on motorcycles.
Registering
I can only tell you my experience and I’m not certain that this is how it always works. When I was in the JPT, I never paid for an event. Each team could send six riders and the team manager made a selection based on which riders requested to go to which event, they would then register you to go. In my E1 team I haven’t run into any rider maximums (we only have a few E1 riders), and I pay for each event. I still tell the team’s manager which event I want to travel to, they register me, but then I pay them back.
The Day Of
The JBCF events have been very organized. The week before they will release a list of registered riders along with a technical guide. The technical guide will include information about the course, where to park, where to check in, how to pin your numbers and more. It’s only in Japanese. Google Translate will be your best friend. Or if you’re lucky you may have a teammate that can speak some English and help you out.
Usually the check in process begins a couple of hours before the start time. You’ll go to license control and pick up your numbers and timing chip. If you’re doing a hill climb and need to, this is also the period of time you drop off your luggage to be taken to the summit. Get kitted & pinned up, then go to the “vehicle control”. They will check your bike against a jig, kind of like what the UCI might use, as well as check the weight (take your bottles off the bike when you hand it to them) and make sure your numbers are pinned correctly. A keen eyed inspector may even look at your helmet to make sure it has the JCF certification sticker. You could possibly be told to change helmets if yours doesn’t have the sticker. When they tell you that everything is OK, you’ll go to the table and sign the box with your name.
There are also meetings that will be happening. But, you shouldn’t have to worry about that. If the team manager can’t be present they will send an “attendant”. This person is responsible for going to the meetings and reporting back to the riders.
Podiums & Prizes
Look how far you’ve come. After all that you’re headed to the podium, which in many events will be six deep. What should you expect? Maybe a cool trophy or a medal? It’s even better. How about a formal certificate signed and stamped by the JBCF President! That’s right, you’ll be receiving an A4 sheet of paper. And yes, when they hand it to you they’ll turn it to face you, use both hands to hand it over and bow. And yes, you should receive it with both hands and bow in return. I plan to frame and hang mine like some kind of college diploma. You’ll probably receive a prize as well. Something like what I mentioned earlier in this post, a towel, cup, umbrella, etc.
Where’s the money? If you want to hold a giant cheque with a big number (because it’s in yen) you’ll need to be racing in the top category, JPT. In this category the podium is only three deep. One time in a race I had a teammate finish 3rd and win some money. I never saw any of it, which was fair as I didn’t really contribute to his result. And I never podiumed myself. So I’m not sure how the payout actually works. Did he get to keep it all? Did the team take it? Who knows. I hope he kept it all, he’s a great guy.
Other Notes
Gachinko Cycle TV & Photo Galleries. Almost all JBCF events are live streamed & archived on YouTube! There’s a company called Gachinko Cycle TV that provides coverage. This includes camera motos as well as stationary cameras. A lot of photographers also come to the events and a photo gallery is posted on the JBCF website after the events take place.
Events & Categories. Not every event will be run for every category. A motivator for me to move from JPT to E1 was that not every hill climb has a JPT category, but they all seem to have E1. My first time racing at Ontake I was in the “Open” category and not eligible for any points or placement.
Outlier events. There are some events like the Niseko Classic (Gran Fondo World Championship Qualifier) and the Tour of Okinawa. These are one off events which are not part of the JBCF or any other federation I mentioned above. But, they are “real” road races on closed roads. There are also plenty of “cookie” rides. But be aware, like mentioned earlier, many of these explicitly say you shouldn’t come and try to ride for a certain time. I think it’s related to what I’ve been told about races having to take place on closed roads. These cookie rides likely have no traffic control. And instead of a cookie, you might get a bag of dry rice to cook later. Happened to me once.
The Hill Climb might be Japan’s most accessible event. There are actually quite a few of them around the country outside of the JBCF and they can be registered for on SportsEntry - I don’t think you need a JCF license.
What about other disciplines? I’ll toss this in here at the end because I think it’s worth mentioning. If you’re not racing Track, Cyclocross or Road… you’re not going to be doing much racing. Mountain biking is still very much in its infancy here in Japan. Despite its incredible landscape, there’s a shocking lack of good mountain biking. My wife and I moved here from Western North Carolina and she’s a former Age Group XC National Champion as well as podium finisher in events like the Pisgah Stage Race and Collegiate Nationals in STXC, XC & Omnium. So believe me, we have tried to find some good mountain biking here and it’s rough.
There are some lift-access downhill courses and we actually went to one for a “gravel” race which my wife won. This was held on what was essentially a non-technical STXC course. Disappointing is a bit of an understatement. There IS Grinduro Japan… but it’s insanely expensive and again, not really a race.
This honestly has had a big impact on our decision to ultimately move away from Japan. But, keep an eye out for developments in places like: https://www.minamialpsmtb.com/ https://namba.ngo/ https://www.nsd-hakuba.jp/iwatake_mtb_park/en/
Cyclocross has a big following in Japan and the calendar appears to be full of events throughout the season. If we were staying long term, I’d be buying a cross bike. Unfortunately I don’t have one, so I never got into that scene while living here.
Although this is mostly about racing in Japan, if you come here to race you’ll also (hopefully) be riding your bike for fun. Please be aware some laws work differently here. Although I’ve never personally run into trouble I’ve been told things like: bikes MUST use the crosswalk if turning across traffic (no turning like a car turns) & that bikes CANNOT exceed 30 km/h (a bike shop owner told me this). My wife and I have often talked about this as well… while in the USA drivers can be malicious towards cyclists, Japanese drivers are often blissfully ignorant towards them. Always ride defensively. Drivers will make eye contact with you and proceed to pull out in front of you expecting you to either not be traveling with speed or to stop for them. Even in “polite” Japan, the Car is King. I’ve had far more close calls with drivers here than I had in America. Having said that, it’s still a wonderful country to explore by bike.
Who Am I?
If you read all of this, thanks! I hope that you learned a little bit about road racing in Japan. But, who am I? I’m an American from Western North Carolina, now living in Japan. Ishikawa Prefecture to be specific. I’ve been a cyclist since 2011 when I bought my first road bike. In America I’m a Cat 2 on the road and an XC MTB Cat 1 with extensive experience training for and racing in a variety of disciplines. Road riding and racing is my true love and I honestly only got into MTB to hang out with my girlfriend. I guess it was worth it because the only National Championship medals I have are from Team Relay & Team Omnium. Oh, we ended up getting married too. So that was cool. I also got into the gravel craze thanks to the plethora of racing options in the South East. I’ve stood on multiple podiums with the internet’s favorite privateer, Dylan Johnson. And I’ve dabbled in bikepacking, bike touring & ultra endurance riding. Really, I’m just a guy that thinks about bikes too much.

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
Done!
Luna VI query: What did Nathan do during the first hour of the war?
***
From the instant he opened his eyes, Nathan's morning was chaotic. It all began with the ground shaking beneath him, jolting him into a state of awareness. He then was greeted by the sight of Amara. She was leaning against a corner, covered in purple from head to toe as she screamed at someone through an earpiece that she was pressing with one of her claws.
His good morning was overhearing one piece of bad news after the other.
The rest of Amara's group had been ambushed early in the morning; many were dead, injured, or missing.
A war had erupted in the sky and her allies were trying to push back the enemy forces, but the battle persisted; the outcome was uncertain.
Zara was being brought to them, but Amara had lost contact with Igmila's group who was bringing her, only receiving confirmation from another group that a rescue pod was spotted at a distance.
And when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, he heard a bang followed by the AI reporting that Ryo had shot down a drone somewhere near their position.
"Open the tent!" Red had conquered Amara's body.
None of the scenarios Nathan had contemplated the previous night had prepared him for such a chaotic morning. "Give me a second."
He only wanted a chance to get his gun from his backpack and explain why he had it in the first place, even though he suspected Amara was already aware he had it. But she didn't let him. "Now!"
She had never felt so distant to him as the moment she said that single word, which led him to just comply as he stood up and followed her in silence. But this frail silence only masked his morning grumpiness, magnified by the dire circumstances and her cold demeanor toward him.
Nathan had barely caught a glimpse of Ryo and Elysira at a distance when he muttered. "It wouldn't have been so hard to say a few words to fill me in, you know."
Amara's eyes were transfixed on the smoking pieces of the drone when she whipped her head around, glaring at him with her orange eyes. "My people are fighting a war and dying. How can you demand my time when Yelara is hurt and barely escaped alive?"
"Oh, come on, I'm not demanding anything." He scoffed, shaking his head. "I just don't think it would have been so hard to tell me what you intend to do in the next five minutes."
The tip of her tail pressed against his chest, as red and purple coexisted on her skin.
"I am heading up the mountain to find Igmila." She spoke in a detached voice, pulling her tail back and turning around, and then she sprinted in the gap between himself and the tent.
He caught a glimpse of gray on her neck and all his grumpiness was gone, replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. With his arms moving faster than his thoughts, he grabbed her by the tail, preventing her from going anywhere.
"You absolutely can't do this Amara." Nathan looked down at the tail he held with both hands and swallowed a lump of saliva in fear of her reaction. But that still didn't prevent him from finishing what he had to say, "It's too dangerous."
Amara's eyes sought his, causing him to suspect she would demand to be released or try to free herself by force, but she did something else. "All of this is because of you. Had I not come to your tent, I would be there to assist them."
Nathan caught a glimpse of green around her back spots, which let him know that there was a hint of guilt in her words. But did that justify blaming everything on him and running into danger without thinking?
If not for the awful night followed by an awful morning, Nathan might have just taken the blame and hugged her. But he too had his limits, "How is that fair? Blame me all you want, but nothing will change that you had all the chances in the world to go back and you didn't. I'm not saying that you could have done anything abo-"
"Indeed." Gray flashed for a moment before red flowed among her black spots. "This night was a waste of time." His grip faltered at her words and she pulled her tail back from among his fingers. "I should have stayed with Yelara to help her tend to her wounds."
Nathan bit his lips in frustration. How was it possible to agree with her words, yet still feel the sharp sting in his heart?
And if that was not enough, Ryo had to step in to rub salt in the wound.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
With Elysira’s tail wrapped around his wrist as she averted her eyes from Amara, Ryo spoke, "Please don't tell me you're mad because the plant lover couldn't get it up."
Nathan blinked fast not believing his eyes. Ryo was not only shirtless but there were a lot of scratches on his neck and below. Elysira’s long strands were also a mess, but even without that, their physical closeness alone would be enough of a hint of how much fun they had at night.
When Nathan glanced at Amara to gauge her reaction, she had already crossed her arms, looking at him angrily. Which immediately made him feel as if Ryo’s not-funny joke was true although he knew it wasn't.
It took Nathan a considerable amount of self-retainment to not walk up there and rearrange Ryo's handsome face with his fist, or at least attempt to do so.
A few seconds passed before he said, "Why are you here?"
Ryo didn't even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing solely on Amara. "Information. I want her to tell me what she knows about this war."
Amara didn't look pleased to help, but she still informed him about the ambush and even alerted him that even their current position would soon be unsafe.
As If things weren't already bad enough, Ryo frowned and hurried to instruct Elysira to get his things as soon as Amara had finished talking. Nathan felt like he was in a war movie where everything was happening too fast for his emotions and reason to follow.
It was only when he saw Ryo raising his gun skywards that Nathan’s anger subsided, contained by the prospect of how bad their situation was. Ryo movements were fluid and methodical, but he never pulled the trigger on the many drones that appeared high above and, instead, retreated to take cover behind a tree.
Only now the seriousness of the situation sank in for Nathan.
He didn't even care that he hadn't explained to Amara why he had a gun yet, rushing inside the tent after exchanging a glance with her.
After crossing the circular door, he found only a few items on the ground: a pair of boots, his sleeping bag, and his backpack with all his equipment inside.
Nathan was quick, wearing his boots first before retrieving his belt, knife, and holster from the backpack. With a sequence of swift movements, he strapped the sheathed knife and holster to the belt and cinched it around his waist, securing it in place before closing the backpack and dashing out the door with his gun in one hand and the backpack in the other.
Already outside, Nathan found it weirdly reassuring that Ryo was in the same spot as before, but that only lasted until he tried to find Amara, but found nothing no matter where he searched for her.
He dropped his backpack, feeling at a loss. How could he have allowed her to venture beyond his sight when he knew that guilt was clouding her judgment?
Only when he had already cupped his hands around his mouth to scream her name that he felt a touch right above his heel—her tail.
"Psst..."
Wiping his head, Nathan saw Amara's whole body mimicking the colors of his tent, making herself quite hard to spot.
"I thought you were gone." He joined her, stooping down beside the tent as relief washed over him.
"It might be too late to join my soldiers." She didn't allow her colors to change, but the translator conveyed a hint of sadness. "I lost contact with all the teams who were coming here."
"Amara I-"
Nathan was about to attempt to make things right with her when Ryo’s assertive voice reached him. "Listen up, those fuckers are jamming our comms and they will be here at any time. Take the MLBCS and find a clearing to use it, I doubt they can interfere with the laser. Just don't forget that your immediate safety comes first or else you might not be among the living when the pod arrives."
Ryo ran back to his tent as soon as he was done speaking, leaving Nathan questioning his own intelligence. How come he had never even considered leaving the planet? A single glance at Amara and he knew why. But did he have any other option?
Staying and fighting to hold his position was something he briefly considered. But did he have a chance when even Ryo decided to leave after seeing the drones?
Mission control might give him other options, so Nathan decided to try his luck despite Ryo’s warning.
Unable to establish a two-way connection.
He confirmed the interference with the communication with a single thought, kicking his backpack in frustration even though it was expected.
Why did it have to be so hard to accept that Ryo was right and leaving the planet was his best option?
But would Ryo truly leave the planet and leave Elysira behind?
Nathan forgot Amara who was beside him and screamed, not allowing this question to stay in his mind, "Wait, what are you gonna do?"
Ryo replied as he waited for Elysira, "I'm not leaving the planet unless mission control finds a way to save Ely too."
Nathan's eyes widened, feeling like an idiot as he brought up a pop-up window showing the schematics of the rescue pods. They were designed to be fast vehicles capable of transporting a single person to the space station, but Earth's government hadn’t skimped on the design, which included various components that could be discarded, such as medical supplies and search and rescue equipment.
He used the AI to run the calculations and found that Amara would likely be able to go with him, that is if they wedged themselves into the vehicle and discarded everything else.
Nathan was about to share his findings with Ryo when he caught a glimpse of him and Elysira disappearing into the woods, abandoning their tent behind as they ran away.
A sense of urgency struck him at that moment, but it was easily forgotten when Amara's voice struck even harder, "You should go."
"What do you mean?" He sought her eyes, but she avoided his gaze, facing to the ground.
"Do what Ryo suggested." She took a small pause before she went on. "Leave the planet."
"The hell I will!" He punched the tent. "Not without you." He could only assume she was saying this because she didn't know she could leave with him. "You'll come with me, and the pod will take us to the space station."
"Your species will refuse to take me." He saw a hint of purple on her neck. "Before the mission started your people told us you humans will not get involved in our wars." She finally made eye contact, and the purple on her skin intensified. "My best chance to survive this is to hide in the mountains and wait for reinforcements."
"You don’t understand, Amara." He didn't have time for a full explanation of what humans considered not getting involved. "No one in mission control will want to leave you here to die just because of some stupid rule." He then spoke his heart out without a care in the world. "And even if they do, they will take you anyway if say I won't go anywhere without you."
A hint of yellow could be seen among her camouflaged skin, but before she could say what she would do, her tail wrapped around his neck and he felt a strong pull to lower his head and bend his knees for cover.
"The rebels are here," she whispered as her ears twitched.
Nathan was tall enough to see the slope on the other side of the tent by just standing, but Amara struggled to see from above the structure, requiring her to stretch her full height and still take little jumps to take peeks.
And it was after doing so that she dropped her camouflage entirely, letting purple run free among her black spots.
Nathan took interest in what she had seen that had caused such a reaction, and he leaned cautiously against the tent and raised his head slowly, prepared to find a few armed Irisians hidden among the trees. But what he found instead was a never-ending line of Irisian advancing downhill at a fast pace towards them.
He understood Amara's reaction now, pulling back the harmer of the revolver as he stared at her. "I need to... do something."
He made up his mind, determined to shoot. But when activated the infrared view mode and took aim at Irisians descending the slope, Nathan froze for a second. This just lasted a moment, and when found the resolve to fire, he had already lifted the gun enough that it wouldn't hit anyone and it would just be a warning shot.
He fired once, twice, and went on until all six rounds were gone, then he noticed their organized marching had stopped, all of them having activated their camouflage. Some even broke the line and retreated uphill.
When he took cover again, Amara was protecting her ears with both hands, looking at him as if he were some sort of monster. Nathan ignored her and rifled through his backpack in search of more ammunition, finding the small box with shining metal bullets after he had searched for some long seconds.
It was only when he released the cylinder to reload the gun that Nathan noticed something.
His hands were shaking.
He ignored it and pressed the extraction rod the remove the cartridges from the cylinder to make room for the new ones, clumsily dropping a few of them as he reloaded.
Amara saw this and stopped him with her tail before he had filled all the chambers.
"I cannot go with you." Her body had been conquered by purple.
"You think I'll leave you behind?" He almost reached his breaking point when she replied.
"No." Her tail touched his cheek gently. "There are too many of them, Nathan." She pulled her tail back as a hint of gray appeared. "My brother will never let me go, he lost too many ships and soldiers to give up without his prize." The gray intensified, squeezing her black spots. "If you die with me on this planet, your species might abandon Irisa forever.
"My chances of hiding in the mountains are slim, but they exist... and even if I fail I will distract them long enough for you to flee."
Her body blended with the surroundings again and Nathan felt that she was about to do something stupid, but he moved faster and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to bend her legs and join him on the ground as she stared at him with wide eyes.
"To hell with this self-sacrifice bullshit." Nathan finally decided what he would do. "Do you think I will die that easy? Guess what, you’re wrong." His hands moved from her shoulder to her back and he embraced her. "Let me tell you what we'll do, we take the MLBCS, we find a clearing, and we go to the space station." He released her and added, almost crazily. "You go with me even if I have to drag you by the tail as you scratch me, you hear me?"
He was not kidding; he grabbed her tail with his left hand, leaving her exterior filled with colors ranging from purple to yellow.
Amara was about to reply when the tent produced a thud noise, sounding as if someone had knocked on a cardboard box. When they turned to the side, there was a tiny hole in the tent dangerously close to Amara's head.
She touched the hole with her finger, and then her whole hand pressed against the side of her head, staring at him without saying a word.
Nathan's heart skipped a beat when he realized what had just happened, and consumed by a rage like he never felt before, he pressed the cylinder of his revolver back into place with just the four bullets inside, pulling back the harmer.
This time there was no hesitation, he quickly stood up and used the infrared view mode to survey the now organized groups of Irisians who had taken a defensive formation, choosing as target an Irisian who had climbed a tree and was pointing a long gun at them.
In just a moment Nathan aimed and pulled the trigger, firing one round after another. The first two missed completely, but the others hit the tree right above the target, making this Irisian panic and release his claws from the wood, only to welcome an ugly fall on the rocks below from several meters above the ground.
He took cover again immediately, but this time noise as if he was facing heavy rain under an umbrella struck his eardrums moments after he had taken cover, making him wince every time he heard the distinct noise of a projectile going through one wall of the tent and stopping the other.
With her tail still among his fingers, Nathan and Amara exchanged several anxious glances as the shooting persisted, only calming down when the rebels realized they were wasting ammunition and the barrage of fire slowly started to lose momentum.
Nathan's heart was racing and she was going through all tones of purple when she broke the silence.
"Fine!" She spoke fast. "If you are being so adamant about tying our fates together, we can do it your way." Her tail escaped his grip, but instead of pulling it back, she coiled it around his wrist. "But we are weaker together, Nathan. I will be a burden to you when you run, and you will be a burden to me when we hide."
"Oh, to hell with that too." Despite his harsh words, just knowing that they were on the same page now was enough to give him some hope. "Sorry. I do all the running and you do all the hiding, does that work for you?"
He didn't wait for her reply and loaded the gun again, this time doing it very fast even though his hands were still shaking.
"You do all the running? I fail to understand you." She said as she stood up to take a peek at the enemies, just to recoil in fear and add, "Explain yourself fast, they are losing the fear of your loud gun."
"Sure." He grasped his backpack bottom and overturned it, emptying its contents in a quick motion. With all the items on the ground, Nathan only took the MLBCS and the little box with his drones that he promptly stored in his pocket. "We won't need any of that, which means my back will be free."
"Are you crazy, I am too heavy f-"
"You're not." Nathan was 6′3″, and he had the nanites ensuring he was as healthy as a human could be. This meant that the short Amara—the top of her head only reaching a little below his shoulder—was not a challenging weight for him to carry given her slender body.
Noticing the doubt in her gaze, he lowered his body even more, turning his back towards her in a way it would be easy for her to climb, hoping this would be all the push she needed.
"You take pleasure in testing my trust, do you not?" The tone of her voice hinted at her reluctance, but she still draped her arms over his shoulder, securing her grip in a way her claws wouldn't hurt him.
Even though they had a plan now, Nathan still felt a chill down his spine at the thought of what he would have to do. And despite knowing that he had taken everything he needed, he anxiously patted down his pocket the make sure the box with the drones was there and remembered to take a handful of bullets, filling up his pockets as some of them fell to the ground.
"Ready?" He asked, trying to sound confident.
"See for yourself." Her tail wrapped around his belly, full of tiny black spots surrounded by purple as far as he could see.
Nathan took a few deep breaths and stood up, getting a glimpse of the many groups that were advancing from both sides, trying to surround them.
It didn't even take him a full second before he started firing his revolver indiscriminately at them while his legs moved on their own, not even waiting for his eyes to decide which path he would take.
Amara's weight escaped his thoughts completely, replaced by the fear evoked by the faint noise of metal breaking the sound barrier around them as soon they left the protection of the tent.
He didn't spare a single glance behind, running downhill at full throttle with bursts of adrenalin fueling his speed. He outran the reach of their guns quite fast, hurdling fallen brunches and putting not only distance but also several tree trunks between them and the hostile force behind.
With Amara's solid grip and occasional shifting of her weight to prove that she was fine, Nathan kept his pace as his muscles burned with exertion.
For a little over ten minutes he kept going, jumping over protruding roots and ducking beneath low-hanging branches. But this couldn't go on forever and eventually, he stopped to catch his breath, bending forward and letting go of items in his hand as Amara released her grip to stand on her own two feet.
His breath was coming in ragged bursts, but that didn't keep him from starting to laugh as he stared at her, whose eyes were gentle and her entire body was filled with hints of yellow.
In a split-second though, her whole demeanor changed, all the yellow giving way to purple and red.
She asked a single question, "Is that device of yours supposed to release smoke?"
The tip of her tail was pointing at the MLBCS, which now had a small hole in it from where a whisp of smoke curled upwards, just like a candle after its flame had been extinguished.
Nathan shook his head and touched his forehead; a single word left his mouth, "Fuck."
***
This was an account based on what Nathan did during the first hour of the war. The previous narrative is based on the events of the morning of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
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I've compiled some frequently asked questions to help manage the influx of posts here. Please check these before posting. Remember, the search feature is your friend and might have your answer. Don't hesitate to ask if you don't find what you're looking for or have more questions.
Q: Did I rupture my Achilles? Example: I felt a pop when playing sports but no pain. I can still walk but am worried I ruptured; it felt like someone hit me on the back of the leg; is it ruptured? Etc.
A: For most folks, you will know if you ruptured your Achilles. The feeling tends to be like you got kicked on the bag of leg; you may also look around to see if anything is behind you. Some individuals also report they hear a pop or snap at the time of injury. None of us will be able to diagnose you in general, no less through a Reddit post. If you feel you have ruptured your Achilles, go ahead and see a doctor as soon as possible for further testing and/or imaging. You can also try the Thompson test at home, which is generally seen as a consistent and accurate way of knowing whether you have ruptured. If you are ruptured, you will not be able to push off of your foot, and you will see your foot dangling as opposed to being held up by the tendon. Attempting this test at home does not replace a proper diagnosis, so please see your doctor as soon as possible!!!
Q: Well, I've confirmed my Achilles is ruptured; what now? Should I have surgery or opt for non-surgical recovery?
A: This is a highly personal choice that should be discussed with your doctor. General research shows that several individuals have had success with both methods. Additionally, this sub features a number of success stories for both. Discuss the differences and which choice would be best with your doctor. If you are still trying to decide, seek a second opinion from a medical professional. None of us in this sub knows what will be best for you or your recovery.
Q: How long will I be out of work/school or sports?
A: This is highly individual and will vary from person to person. Some have reported almost having no time away from work or school with their recovery, while others report taking extra time to allow for recovery. If you work a desk job or work from home, chances are you won't miss much time. If you work more of an active or blue-collar job, discuss this with your doctor or physical therapist to get an idea of how long you will be out. Your work may be able to make accommodations for you while you are injured. Please consult your works HR specialist regarding this.
As far as sports are concerned, this is also highly variable. When picking the best recovery plan for you, your doctor will likely discuss a timeline and recovery protocol. Depending on how you recover and progress in Physical therapy, you may return sooner or longer than your doctor expects. Some have reported a return to some level of activity within weeks of the injury, while others wait much longer. Please talk with your PT or doctor if you have questions about when you can safely return to activity.
Q: I've picked my recovery plan/protocol. What can I expect next? What should I buy/how should I prepare?
A: Preparing can often seem the hardest part; if you have opted for surgery, it will likely be scheduled quickly. If you have not opted for surgery, you are likely not in as big of a rush, but it's good to be prepared. Doctors can often write notes or prescriptions for a disabled placard and a knee scooter. These are very helpful in getting around and having some freedom during recovery. Having someone you trust or a loved one looking after and helping you is also very helpful, especially if you opt for surgery. Your doctor's protocol should give you insight into recovery and what may or may not be beneficial especially post-op. Several individuals in this sub have commented on useful tools and things to get, such as iWalk, Knee scooters, leg pillows, shower benches, toilet benches, crutches, cast covers for showers, item grabbers, ice packs, etc. Please consult your doctor, physical therapist, or equipment manufacturer if you have questions about using items or if they would be useful.
Q: What surgery type should I opt for?
A: If your surgeon offers multiple types of surgeries to recover your Achilles, ask for the pros and cons of each to make a more informed decision. There is also a lot of research regarding each type of surgery published in medical studies and elsewhere. No one on Reddit is going to be able to suggest a type of surgery for you or tell you which one is the best for you and your situation. To state that one surgery type is better than the others is inherently wrong.
Q: How do I pick a surgeon?
A: This will depend on where you live and how far you are willing to travel. You may only have 1-2 options in your area. As always, do your research on the facility you are going to and on your doctor. Generally, orthopedic offices will offer options for Achilles repair and protocol. No one on here should be suggesting a doctor for you.
Q: Will my insurance cover "this or that"?
A: Questions about your insurance should be directed to your doctor's office, your insurance provider, or potentially an HR specialist at your work.
Q: I've had surgery now or opted to go non-op; when can I start weight-bearing again on my injured Achilles?
A: This is highly individual based on your recovery progress and protocol. Some have reported in this sub that they began partial or full weightbearing in as little as 1-2 weeks, while others may start at 4-10 weeks. Please listen to your doctor or physical therapist when you can begin weight bearing.
Q: How can I manage pain levels both pre and post-op?
A: Consult your doctor about pain management. Nobody on Reddit should tell you how to medicate or for how long. Other ways for pain management may include ice and elevation, which are generally seen as your best friends during recovery.
Q: What can I do to keep myself busy while I recover?
A: There are a ton of great recs in this sub you can find by searching. A lot of people find ways to keep themselves busy such as gaming, reading books, watching TV/movies, finding new hobbies to try that don't require much movement, puzzles/board games, certifications or schooling, etc. What you want to do really depends on your attitude toward your injury and what level of risk you are willing to take. Generally, out in public, many, if not most, people will be accommodating to your injury and will go out of their way to help. Many businesses offer handicap-accessible options as required by law or will make accommodations to help. Some have reported going to concerts, movies, or even traveling during their recovery.
Q: I had surgery on X Date can I travel on Y Date?
A: This is highly individual. Following your surgery, you are generally considered to be at a higher risk for blood clotting. Additionally, depending on your travel arrangements, you may be overall uncomfortable while traveling. As always, ask your doctor if you are cleared to travel on your specified date; if you are, you will need to make the call. You likely will be uncomfortable during your recovery when it comes to getting around, whether you are weight-bearing or not. You may also find your destination may or may not be very handicap accessible. Many people will opt to postpone travel if possible so they can fully enjoy their trip without any mobility issues; if this does not bother you and you are cleared to travel, then by all means.
Q: When should I start PT?
A: Your doctor's protocol should give you a timeline for starting PT. Please ask your doctor if you have further questions.
Q: How do I pick a PT clinic/therapist?
A: As mentioned above, availability will likely depend on your area. However, there will likely be more PT clinics in your area than surgeons. As far as picking one, as I mentioned above, do your research and ask around. It's highly likely that you know someone who has gone through physical therapy. You can also ask your doctor for a referral to someone nearby that they may work with or have heard good things about. If you do not like your PT or potentially want another opinion on recovery, it is always good to seek a second opinion. Your doctor generally sets your timeline and protocol. However, it is up to your PT to implement it.
Q: I'm currently recovering, and I may have re-ruptured, did I? What should I do?
A: The general consensus on this question is if you re-ruptured your Achilles, you will know. Many have reported that the re-rupture is much more painful than the initial rupture. Now, this is only sometimes the case. If you believe you have re-ruptured your Achilles, the best thing to do is contact your doctor immediately to let them know what happened and any concerns. They may ask you to come in for imaging or tell you that you are fine; either way, it is better to loop them in so they are aware and can hopefully put your mind at ease.
Q: When could you do an unassisted single-leg calf raise?
A: You'll see several varying answers in this sub. Some have reported in as little as 2-3 months, while some report they still can't do one at 12 months. If you are sticking to your protocol and PT plan and everyone is happy about the results, there is no need to rush to this milestone, and everyone heals differently.
Q: I've finished PT, now what?
A: Ask your doctor or PT if there is anything you can do in the future to help protect your recovered Achilles and what steps you should take going forward. If you have finished PT, you likely know how your tendon feels and what level of activity you may want to attempt. Note that many state they still have a mental block when returning to sports for fear of getting injured again. Take your time by easing back into whatever activity you want to try. Once PT is done and you may not be seeing your doctor any longer, it can still take time for your Achilles to recover, sometimes up to 12 months and even beyond that.
I am creating this as a working document. If you believe we would benefit from more questions here or a different layout, please leave them in the comments. I will be pinning this post.

My remaining years are few and my body is weak, yet my memories are still sharp, so I shall share a tale I’ve long kept secret. I no longer wish to take it with me to the grave. I once feared that others might be drawn to this horrible experience of mine, like those who wander too close to the edges of a roaring tornado, only to be consumed and mangled beyond recognition. But I’ve come to realize that it was naive to think this way. Though some may not heed a tornado's warning, that’s no reason not to sound the alarm. And so, I tell this story with that purpose in mind.
Consider this the gravest of warnings to stay away from Stonemoor Manor.
In the year of 1953, I was but a young man, though already busy with the responsibilities of a career and a family. Despite my tender age, I had already dabbled in various trades, for I was a restless spirit, never one to settle. From labor to intellect, I had tried my hand at it all. With equal prowess in both craft and wit, I found my true calling in a profession that demanded both: veterinary medicine.
Life in Ireland was tough in those times. Many young families were heading off for better opportunities overseas. Though I was hesitant at first, myself and the wife decided we’d eventually do the same for our daughter’s sake. But I wasn’t about to take them to a new land empty-handed, so we agreed to stay another year in Ireland while I put away some coin. To stretch our savings as far as they would go, we chose to see out our final year in a rural spot where the cost of living was kinder on the pocket.
With but a year's worth of experience as a vet under my belt, I had yet to earn myself a reputation worth speaking of, nor had I much acquaintance with the locals in the village we'd chosen as our temporary home. Still, I held firm in the skills I possessed, my eagerness to learn, and my belief that this countryside community of farms and fields would provide ample chances to prove myself. To put it plainly, I was brimming with confidence, some might even call it cockiness. I suppose it was a mixture of that and desperation which brought me to Stonemoor Manor.
As the days stretched into months, I found myself haunting the local pub like a ghost, a familiar face among the regulars. My confidence was dwindling with the lack of work. It seemed like everyone in that village had the healthiest animals in all of Ireland, maybe even beyond. What a cruel twist, their blessed lives mocking my own struggles.
One evening, in my drunken stupor, I hadn’t noticed at first the gaunt figure come into the pub and saunter over to the shadowed corner where I was drowning my sorrows. It wasn’t until he spoke that I saw him.
“Are you the veterinarian?” He asked.
I raised my head and steadied my blurred gaze on the face of a man whose sunken features made him look more shadow than flesh. For a moment, I even thought I was looking at a skeleton.
“Aye, that’d be me.”
“They seek your presence at Stonemoor Manor.”
“And what’s the reason for that?”
“The Master’s horse has taken ill.”
“And what does this ‘master’ go by?”
The man glared in silence, then in a tone tinged with irritation and raised volume, declared, "His name is Alistair Stonemoor."
In an instant, the chatter in the pub fell silent, and every gaze turned toward our shadowed corner.
Under the weight of the pub's collective gaze, the man squirmed uncomfortably, his voice lowering as he muttered, "It matters not. You’ll be well rewarded for your troubles."
Past the man, the bartender shook his head in disapproval, fixing me with a stern glare, and silently mouthed the word, "no."
Despite the bartender's cautionary glance, fueled by youth, folly, and a healthy dose of drink, I brushed aside his advice and turned to the man, blurting out, "How much is this Master Stonemoor offering?"
The man leaned closer, his face illuminated by the flickering candlelight, revealing a gaunt, pallid countenance and foggy eyes. He looked every bit of his seventy years or more. "Sufficient to settle comfortably upon reaching the shores of America," he murmured.
In that moment, it would have been prudent to heed the warning signaled by the hairs standing on end at the nape of my neck. When your instincts scream "leave," it's best to listen. But the allure of a swift resolution to my troubles clouded my judgment. The prospect of a better life sooner than expected was too tempting to resist. So, I rose from my seat and addressed the man, "I'll go fetch me things.”
I made the decision I believed was best for my family.
God rest their souls.
I kept from my lovely Mary the weight the Stonemoor name carried in the pub. She'd have put a stop to my leaving in an instant. Instead, I spun a tale of a wealthy gent in need of my skills, assuring her I'd be back when the job was done. With our wee Annie already tucked in for the night, I kissed my wife goodbye, gathered my tools, and slipped into the back of a sleek black sedan, driven by the mysterious man with eyes like fog, seemingly undeterred by their cloudy gaze.
I leaned in and murmured, "Didn't quite catch your name, sorry.”
“Never said it.”
“Ah, right. What is it, then?”
“Fergus.”
“Pleasure, Fergus. I’m Liam.”
“I know.”
“Right. The ad. You’ve seen me ad.”
With no response from Fergus, I pressed on, asking, "How far is Stonemoor Manor from here?"
“About a half hour drive.”
What ensued was a half-hour journey enveloped in silence, traversing through the village and onto a dirt path winding through a dense, shadowy forest. Eventually, we arrived at an iron gate, which swung open onto a secluded road. Despite my keen observation, I couldn't discern who operated the gate, nor who secured it shut behind us. Ten minutes further along this secluded path, the woods parted, revealing the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor for the first time.
It bore a striking resemblance to a castle, its exterior fashioned from grey stone adorned with towers and crenellations, save for the central portion, which appeared to be of Victorian design. Judging by the numerous windows, the manor rose at least four stories high, not accounting for any underground levels.
The manor lay bathed solely in the moon's glow, devoid of any external illumination. Among the multitude of windows, only one emitted light: a solitary glimmer from a small window perched atop one of the corner towers.
Fergus brought the car to a halt, then stepped out and opened my door. With a nod, he gestured towards the manor and uttered, "Master Stonemoor awaits you within."
"Up there, is he?” I acknowledged, stepping out of the vehicle and casting a nod towards the illuminated window.
Ignoring my question, Fergus closed the door firmly. "Come along," he directed, leading the way towards the looming manor.
We climbed stone steps to confront a grand iron door, effortlessly opened by old Fergus. He gestured for me to enter before closing the door with a heavy thud that echoed through the foyer. Cast only in the moon's silver light, the room revealed itself in fragments, with stone stairs disappearing into the shadows ahead. Fergus had vanished from sight, leaving me to navigate the dimness alone.
I called out for Fergus, but my voice echoed unanswered, stirring a growing sense of unease. Doubt crept in, whispering of traps and deceit. With cautious steps, I retreated towards the door, its cool iron offering a sense of security. Fumbling in the darkness, my heart quickened with each passing moment, panic threatening to overwhelm me. Just as my trembling hand found the handle, the room burst into light.
“Departing so soon, are we?”
A new voice pierced the silence, resonating with youth and vigor unlike Fergus's. Swiveling around, my eyes met those of a tall, middle-aged man clad in a sleek black three-piece suit, accented by a bold red tie. With raven-black hair framing his face and piercing blue eyes, he commanded the landing of the steps, which diverged to his left and right.
“Ah, sorry now. I seemed to have gone and misplaced Fergus,” I chuckled sheepishly. “Thought he might’ve been locked out. I take it you’re Mister Stonemoor?”
"Please, call me Alistair," he replied with a nod. "And you must be Doctor Kerrigan?"
"Aye... Liam, that's me name," I stammered. "Only the creatures call me doctor."
I couldn't tell if the jest garnered even a smirk, for Alistair remained rooted to the spot at the top of the stairs, a considerable distance away.
"Anyhow," I persisted, "I understand there's a sick horse in need of attention?"
"Are you drunk, Doctor?" Alistair's tone was pointed, his gaze piercing.
Alistair's question caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless, akin to a child caught in mischief. Yet, I had a feeling of innocence; after all, it was Fergus who had recruited me from the pub.
“I’ve had a few pints this evening.”
“I can smell it on you.”
“That is truly impressive.”
“There is nothing impressive about it, Doctor Kerrigan.”
“Well, I didn’t go swimming in it, did I?”
“I do not know and I find your sarcasm unwelcome. Fergus will escort you to a chamber, and you shall begin attending to my horse at daybreak."
“Hold on now, I'm sorry for me behavior, but I can't be staying the night. I've got a family to get back to. And anyhow, shouldn't this horse be needing emergency treatment?"
Alistair turned on his heel and ascended the staircase to his right. "Treatment can wait until you've sobered up," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"I'm plenty sober!" I hollered after him as he vanished up the stairs. "Me hands are steady as a rock!" My protest echoed through the empty foyer, but Alistair had already disappeared from sight.
Fergus emerged from the shadows of a nearby hallway, causing me to startle. "I will show you to your room.”
“You’re a right sly one, Fergus. Anyway, I can’t be sticking around for the night.”
“Master intends to further compensate you for your time.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then I shall return you to your burdens.”
With my jaw clenched and eyes shut tight, I drew in a deep breath. For a fleeting moment, a vision danced in my mind's eye: my little Annie, her smile radiant as she pointed towards Lady Liberty. So precious she was, my heart ached with longing for her to have a better life.
"Fine," I relented, opening my eyes. "Show me to the room."
As I awoke, it was not to the gentle glow of morning light, but to the harsh brightness of noon. Jumping from the bed, I checked my watch, confirming my fears. With urgency, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my bag, and hastened out of the bedroom. Stepping into the hallway, I was disoriented, with no recollection of its layout from the night before. Rows of closed doors lined the corridor, and I began to try each one in turn. Pushing and pulling, I soon realized that every door was locked. Surely, not every room warranted such security, I pondered, my frustration growing with each failed attempt.
As I ventured down the hall and finally arrived at the imposing stone staircase, the resounding clicks of each door unlocking in unison sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps prickled across my skin, and I hastened my descent down the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest. Just as I reached the bottom, I came to an abrupt stop, narrowly avoiding a collision with the ghastly figure of Fergus.
“Sleep well?” He asked.
“Jesus, Fergus! It’s noon! Has the horse given up the ghost yet? And, I haven’t a clue what’s happening upstairs, but…”
“Master Stonemoor awaits your presence in the stables.”
I looked at Fergus a moment, wondering if he’d heard a word I’d said, then relented, “Okay, then. Can I use a phone first?”
“There’s no phone on this property.”
“No phone? That’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it? I need to let me wife know where I am.”
“I will send word.”
“Quickly, then. Just let her know not to be worrying about me. I’ll be back once the job is done.”
Fergus nodded in acknowledgement before guiding me towards the stables. In the light of day, the grandeur of Stonemoor Manor became even more apparent. It truly was a colossal structure, dominating the landscape with its impressive presence.
The stables were nearly empty, save for one stall at the far end where I found Alistair tending to a black thoroughbred, sprawled on straw, barely clinging to consciousness.
"She's a beauty, isn't she?" Alistair remarked, not lifting his gaze from her.
"Aye, but she's in a bad way."
Alistair nodded solemnly. "She's been like this for some time.”
"You should've woke me.”
"Wouldn't have changed a thing." Alistair paused in his brushing of the horse’s mane and rested his hand upon her flank, following the rhythm of her strained breaths.
"Isn't it me duty to tend to her?"
Alistair withdrew his hand and straightened up, his eyes bluer than ever. "No, it's not." And just then, the horse's breathing stopped. "Come along, Doctor."
Alistair guided me through the grand house, down echoing halls, and into a room adorned with portraits aplenty. He paused in the center of the room and asked, "Any of these faces look familiar?" I scoured the walls until I stumbled upon a particular painting, a sight that nearly shook me to the core. In that frame, a woman and a young lass gazed back at me, bearing an eerie resemblance to my own Mary and our sweet Annie.
My blood boiled with fury, convinced that this portrait depicted my own wife and daughter. Suspicion gnawed at me, and I eyed Alistair with distrust, wondering if he was some sort of obsessed deviant. "Out with it," I demanded, my voice sharp with anger.
“No need to fret, Doctor. This painting predates your girls by quite a stretch."
"I'm not taking it, they're too alike for comfort.”
"I’m just as baffled as yourself," Alistair conceded, his words laced with sadness. "The girls in the painting are my dear wife and daughter. Both passed away some time ago."
I stood silent for a moment, then spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize." My gaze returned to the portraits before scanning the room again, my eyes catching on something odd. "Don't you have any photographs of them?"
Alistair let out a weary sigh and turned to me. "I'm afraid not," he confessed. "They passed before photographs were even a notion."
A puzzled chuckle broke from my lips. "Surely not. Cameras have been about for a hundred years," I countered, shaking my head in disbelief.
Alistair fixed me with a steady gaze, betraying no hint of doubt or error. "So it be," he affirmed with quiet certainty.
Apart from Alistair's piercing blue eyes, other features seemed to have taken on a newfound radiance. His skin possessed a youthful glow, his hair appeared fuller, and his jawline more defined. Alistair, it seemed, had undergone a remarkable rejuvenation, growing younger right before my eyes.
“Pardon me asking, but in which year were you born, Mister Stonemoor?”
Alistair smirked and made his way to a sizable wooden desk and lowered himself onto a chair. "Are you a man of faith, Doctor Kerrigan?”
Assuming this to be a roundabout approach, I responded, "Aye, I've a healthy fear of the Almighty."
Alistair rummaged through a drawer and withdrew a hefty leather-bound tome, causing a cloud of dust to rise as he placed it upon his desk. Flipping it open, he motioned for me to approach. Amongst the sea of words, atop the first page, was a title:
The Knights Templar.
What Alistair divulged to me was a tale so fantastical, it surpassed any yarn I'd ever heard spun. He claimed to have once been among the legendary Knights Templar, embroiled in the Crusades and journeying across continents in pursuit of sacred relics and hidden truths.
But as history tells, the Templars met a grim fate, condemned by their own church and hunted to extinction. Yet, Alistair was no mere casualty of that bloody chapter. He was a survivor, lurking in the very woods where Stonemoor Manor now stood, clutching to the shadows with a treasure in hand.
Amongst the spoils of his clandestine escapades was a fabled emerald tablet, etched with secrets believed to bridge the mortal realm with the divine. Alistair, having purloined the tablet and sought refuge in the forest, claimed to have communed with the Almighty himself. And in that sacred dialogue, he made a plea, and it was granted.
Thus, his years became as boundless as his desires.
As his narrative drew to a close, Alistair closed the book and beckoned me to follow him back to the stables. Stunned into silence after what I’d just heard, I trailed behind him as we retraced our steps to the very spot where we had witnessed the horse's demise. And once we arrived, still, my tongue lay dormant as I beheld the miraculous sight before me: the once lifeless creature now stood vibrant and strong.
Finally, a solitary word escaped my lips, a gasp of incredulity as I uttered, "How?"
"The Lord bestowed upon me a gift," Alistair confessed, his voice weighted with solemnity. "But it came at a cost. In death, I find life. With each soul I take, I grow younger."
The transformation in Alistair's appearance now made sense, yet it did little to quell my lingering doubts about the resurrection of the horse. "But why is the horse alive, then?" I pressed, seeking further clarification.
In response, Alistair simply glanced past me, nodding toward a figure looming in the shadows. Turning, my eyes fell upon Fergus, his form now even more weathered, his countenance more gaunt and gray. He looked to have aged another decade.
Alistair spoke as I stood in awe, elucidating, "With death, I am rejuvenated, yet with life, Fergus withers further. I take and I gain, while he gives and he loses. Our blessing is also our curse.”
Fergus looked on with weary eyes and sagging shoulders. "There was a portrait earlier that escaped your notice, Doctor," Alistair interjected. "It was the portrait of my son... Fergus Stonemoor."
To be continued…

21st: Scot Pollard (Kaoh Rong - 8th)

NBA REP IN ENDGAME LMFAOOOO
u/SMC0629:
It’s insane how great of a villain Scot is especially as deep into the show Kaoh Rong is, but he really is. Scot is one of the most petty and selfish people to be on the show, and it’s glorious. At the same time, you find yourself rooting for him every once in a while, there’s a lot of depth that goes into his character. I think he’s so deserving of endgame, and I couldn’t be happier he made it.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
The way my mouth dropped when Zan approached me for an Endgame deal that included Scot Pollard of all people. Like, based doesn’t even do the feeling justice when I described how hyped I felt about it. I love Scot and I think he has such a unique presence that I’m not sure if Survivor will ever truly replicate, especially as the show tries to carry itself as a more family friendly experience. But Scot is just so naturally intimidating and terrifying, and the scene of him dousing the fire in the middle of the day just to fuck with the tribe around him, might be one of the coldest scenes I have ever seen on Survivor.
The combined impact both he and Kyle Jason (who I actually have ranked back-to-back with him in my personal rankings) is just truly something as they feel more like one of the most intimidating villain presences in the show’s history. And what really helps make them better is how they sorta piggy-back on each other. Scot adds more of a natural darkness to Jason that helps him feel even more “evil” than he probably is, while Jason has a way with words and “just enough” of a sympathetic angle in his edit that you can’t help but worry that he could be getting a winner’s edit, that the two actually feel like they could succeed. You don’t get that shit really ever in Survivor! You watch Pearl Islands and you know Fairplay’s gonna lose in the end. Philippines? Abi won’t win with her edit. Worlds Apart’s evil trio? Well thankfully not cause all three of them suck ass, but the edit definitely is giving it away they’re going to lose to Mike in the end. But Scot and Jason? I mean… shit… why are they editing Jason like this? Is… Are they going to win out?
And because of that, it makes their downfall feel even more impactful. It makes Tai saying “No” at Scot’s boot one of the best moments of all time.
Scot’s fantastic. Amazing presence. Amazing character dynamic. One of the best relationships of all time with Jason. A great role in Tai’s character arc and brief descent to darkness. So many amazing qualities I can just gush about. I wouldn’t have in my own Endgame, but I am thrilled that someone wanted this to happen and I can’t wait to read the write-up justifying it!
Overall Rank – 52/821
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Scot is such an awesome villain, yeah he’s a scumbag but who cares! We need someone who actively just doesn’t like anybody around him and he works so well with people like Tai and Aubry. You also can’t forget his bromance with Jason, just perfect, 2 villains who deserve to return!
~
u/Regnisyak1:
Scot is a partial reason why Kaoh Rong doesn’t land for me. I think his villainy gets to be a little too OTT to his character, and his ruthless nature toward Alecia just never sat right with me. Objectively, he is a great character, but I just personally think he is a lot and someone I would never have in Endgame without a deal, lol. But happy for Zan!
Personal Rank: 124/821. 8/10.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Scot is definitely one of the most unique villains on Survivor. You have the standard dickish villain role on the Brawn tribe, but then you do get to see his sweeter side with his bond with Tai when he gets swapped to another tribe. Then of course you have just absolute perfection at the merge with all the messy gameplay as well as beijng in one of my favorite alliances on the show with Tai and Jason, and then his blindside creating just the perfect Scot Sandwich, making it an absolute treat.
~~~~~
u/Zanthosus:
What makes a good Survivor villain? The answer to that question is going to be different for everybody. Some people may think that a great villain needs to be exceptionally charismatic, toe the line between cruelty and comedy, or have sympathetic motives or backstory to justify their means of reaching the end. All of these are valid things to look for, and they are all hallmarks of some of the best villains in the show’s history. But Scot falls into a different kind of category from most of these kinds of villains. He’s from an extinct subcategory of villains: the bully. It’s been said before that Scot is the last true villain of Survivor. And while I don’t agree with that statement completely, I do believe that he is the last bully we have seen, and will likely ever see again with how the show has edited and portrayed its characters. We’ll still have antagonists to root against, sure. Jonathan Young and Drew Basile are some recent examples that show Survivor can still give us some pretty good antagonistic forces. But when it comes to the cruel bully archetype, Scot is the last of that kind of character.
And it’s honestly bizarre to me in many ways how I find Scot an incredibly fascinating character, and end up loving to hate him. Especially when you compare him to so many of the other characters of this archetype we’ve seen over the years. Rocky Reid, NaOnka Mixon, and Corinne Kaplan are some of the more notable names that belong to this group. While these characters do undoubtedly have their own defenders, I’d be willing to bet that they’re much more disliked than liked across this community. And of course Scot has his own detractors, but it’s always seemed to me that there’s been much less of an outspoken force against him than others like him. And I’m no different. I have Scot in my own personal endgame, while many other bullies are sitting in my bottom 100 of all time. So, what gives? Well, while I can’t speak for everyone, for me at least it really comes down to one thing. It’s how the people that he and Jason pick on through the season consistently stand up to them and refuse to just lay down and take it. Even if it’s not immediately, almost everyone they target stands up for themselves in one way or another. It also helps that none of their bullying is steeped in any kind of bigotry or hatefulness. They value strength and are doing whatever they can do in their power to make it just a bit further into the game.
Even from the very start of the game, they immediately single out Darnell and Alecia as being the weak links on their tribe. I mentioned before in the Alecia writeup that To Tang is one of my favorite tribes of all time. Literally everyone has something to offer entertainment wise. And while Darnell is swiftly eliminated as the first boot, Alecia manages to cockroach her way a bit further. Scot is not shy about making his feelings for her known, being that she has no place on the Brawn tribe and that she’s holding them back in challenges and ruining tribe morale. And this rivalry is just so much fun to watch. Alecia’s constant scrappiness continually digging her hole deeper and deeper as one by one everyone on To Tang around her either is firmly against her or gets eliminated. It even gets tto the point where Scot, Jason, and Cydney team up together to make sure that Alecia doesn’t get an immunity idol, and it only just barely works, with Jason wrestling her for it before coming out as the victor. And after their subsequent challenge loss, Scot gives Alecia the opportunity to give up right then and there, and just forgo the inevitable decision at tribal council. And yet, Alecia fights to the bitter end. She’s adamant in not rolling over and giving up without every bit of fight she can muster. And despite what Scot and Jason may say in the moment, I’d be surprised if they didn’t respect her for that, especially considering how they too would have to cockroach along through the rest of the game.
I like to talk alot about the juxtaposition of characters. How different personalities can both complement and be at odds with each other. And I’m not sure there’s any better example of this than the relationship between Scot and Tai on this season. Because from the moment he’s swapped onto the new Gondol tribe, they get along pretty well and a genuine friendship seems to form. These episodes are especially interesting to me because this is the kindest light he’s shown in across the entire season. He’s just having fun and enjoying his time on a tribe that, despite continuing to lose, he’s seemingly happy in. The Anna vote is just a matter of fact decision. She’s the weakest link and is trying to stir things up, so she’s the one to go. The next vote though really does change the tune of the season, and of Scot’s attitude as a whole.
The Peter boot is interesting for Scot’s story. Not because of the episode itself, but because of the fallout that arises from it going into the merge. To him, Aubry’s indecisiveness and potential willingness to jump ship makes her someone that just cannot be trusted. And by the Nick vote, he’s pretty firmly on the bottom of the numbers. But just like Alecia wouldn’t simply roll over and give up, he’s not going to either. He’s going to hide the machete, dump water on the fire, and make everyone else’s lives miserable in the hopes of creating cracks. And the best part is that this isn’t a petty move for the sake of it. Just as Aubry herself says, “There’s no way Scot did this out of temper.” And his decision pays off. Debbie ostricizes herself from the group due to being riled up from Scot’s sabotages and gets sent home as a result. But all this time, despite Scot and Jason being on the bottom, they’ve still been working with Tai. They’re the devil on his shoulder to the angel that Aubry is being. And this all comes to a head in Scot’s boot episode.
At this point, Scot has not been shy about using dirty tactics if it means he can cockroach just that bit further and acquire just that little bit more power in the game. We of course see this in his actions around camp, but also in how he talks with others like Aubry, Cydney, Joe, and especially Tai. The interactions he has with Tai are particularly fascinating to me because at the end of the day, he’s trying to work with him. And he’s needing Tai to hold up his side of the super idol in order to keep him in the game. Even despite this, we see moment after moment of Scot talking down to Tai or quickly shooting down every one of his proposals. So from Tai’s perspective, he’s already setting aside his morals for the sake of the game by working with them, but then they’re belittling him despite needing his help. It, again, goes back to the point of Scot just being a bully. But with Alecia, she had no power. Her standing up to him affected nothing and simply didn’t matter other than prove her resolve. But with Tai, him standing up for himself is so much more impactful.
This tribal council is definitely up there for the greatest of all time, and that final “No” from Tai is an all time iconic moment in the show’s history. Not just for the moment in isolation, but moreso because of the buildup to it. Seeing Scot be the bad guy, then becoming friends with Tai, only to take advantage of Tai’s good nature too much, to the point that Tai feels his best option is to stand up to his bullies, and make a difference. He chooses to side with the heroes over the villains. One thing you should know about me is that I absolutely adore Tai and his story on this season. Tai 1.0 is easily top 10 of all time for me, and potentially a top 5 placement. And without Scot and his role on the season, Tai’s story wouldn’t have even half of the impact that it does. That is why I adore Scot. The season needed a villain like Scot, and without him and Jason, this season wouldn’t have a fraction of the life, soul, and complexity that it has. And that for me makes him more than worthy of a spot in endgame.
SMC0629: 13
DryBonesKing: 15
Zanthosus: 17
Tommyroxs45: 19
Regnisyak1: 24
DavidW1208: 23
ninjedi1: 18
Average Placement: 18.429
Total Points: 129
Standard Deviation: 3.994 (6th Lowest)

So, this is my first time writing on reddit.
I (m21) found out my ex (m24) cheated on me. We have known each other since June last year, we met just a couple weeks after he broke up with his long-time boyfriend of 6 years. We live 1 and a half hours away from each other. I live in Brisbane; he lives in the countryside. So, every weekend we were always together. We started officially dating in September. I was only out at the time to my friends, not to my family, so getting into this relationship was a bit scary because he was out and proud. It’s funny because in the beginning he would try to accuse me of cheating, tell me he’s scared of me cheating, but I would’ve never done that. I loved him. Turns out, he was the one cheating.
In December last year, he told me to respond to an Instagram message for him. After I sent it, I saw a message he had sent this guy, A, he commented on his story, something flirty and it caught my eye. I confronted him about it. He admitted to being “lonely” and wanted to talk to him. Then he tells me he thought the guy was attractive. He was a friend of one of his co-workers. My ex only saw this guy once! Anyways, he would block this guy, then unblock him, then block him again, etc.
There have been times where I’ve had to confront him on a lot of stuff. For example, his ex. He told me his ex was blocked; he would never talk to him but that was all a lie. I would see notifications from his ex, he would tell me, his ex would create all these accounts just to get in contact with him, which that part was true but my problem was that he would never tell me but he never understood why that was a problem. When we went away for our six month anniversary last month, we wanted to watch Netflix but the Netflix on the hotel TV wasn't working so he told me to get his laptop and we'd watch "Is It Cake?" on there. His iMessage dings. He doesn't use iMessage. I see a text from a number and it was like "how dare you use my trauma against me" and "I just want to talk." His ex was always asking for money and would say "I need to talk it's important" and it wouldn't be important. He was always asking for money. I asked him why he didn't tell me he was still talking to his ex, he just told me "he wanted to see the kittens. I said to him if he wanted to buy one, he could see them but if he wasn't buying one, I don't want him near me" and he told me it was no big deal and that he loved me. Told me he deleted and blocked the number but I went through his blocked list, the number wasn't there but I didn't bring it up. I just moved on and wanted to enjoy our holiday. Then, when I was getting my tyres done, he told me about some random number calling him twice and he sent me a screenshot. In the screenshot it showed his call log, like, his calling history. Turns out he was on the phone to his ex, through Instagram the night before after we said "goodnight" to each other. He then said "oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. My ex called me last night about the kittens, again." and I was pissed because how do you forget to tell someone that. We ended up having a huge fight about it, he said he feels bad for his ex because he has no family and all this stuff. All these excuses. Again, I ended up forgiving him and moving on.
Fast forward to Monday, I recieved a friend request on Insta from the guy I confronted my ex about back in December, A, and I knew what was happening but I just deleted his request but then he kept on requesting to follow me. I told my ex about it and he told me not to worry about it. Then, yesterday on Tuesday, all day, I had this sick feeling in my stomach because I had a feeling something was going to happen. Then that night, I received a message from his old co-worker she said "I think you need to see this" and I responded with a question mark because nothing had come through but then the screenshots and screen recordings came through. My heart sank. He has been messaging A since December and messaged him again when he got back from my house after celebrating his birthday with me (I spent over $300 on his presents) and my family (my mum bought me a couple presents too) early because his birthday is on a Monday and I can't be there. (He stayed at mine, Thursday, Friday, and went home on Saturday). That Saturday, was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary lunch, where my nanna said to my ex "you're apart of the family now", which made me happy but I loved him and I loved that my family loved him but that same Saturday, he went home and texted A. When I was looking at the screenshots of the texts and screen recordings, the screen recordings showed he was on Tinder. I was fucking mad. I called him immediately and said "what the fuck!" and I started reading out the texts he would send this guy on Instagram and on Snapchat. The other guy, A, didn't entertain him. He would just ignore him or just have small talk but it was just my boyfriend doing the flirting but what broke me was when A asked my ex "who's the J in your bio" and my ex said "that's my boyfriend. We're in an open relationship." I felt my heart break into a million pieces. He basically confirmed everything, said he was on Tinder and said he was on Grindr, and he said he was last on Grindr "two days ago" and yesterday, two days ago, was Sunday. I was at his house, he would've been on it when I left his. I felt so many different feelings all at once, I felt like I was going to burst. I then, just went over to my best friend's house but both A and my ex, told me they haven't had sex and my ex told me, that even though he was on Grindr and Tinder, he didn't sleep with anyone just talked to a couple guys and that's it.
I obviously broke up with him yesterday but we're stilling messaging each other. I even called him last night after I got back from my friend's house and we spoke more about the situation. I know still having contact with him isn't good for me but I still love him. Even though we only dated for six-almost seven months, I still love him. I think because this is my first relationship, I want to cling on this but at the same time, I know I deserve better. I haven't cried yet. I don't think I will tbh. He keeps saying how he's sorry and how he feels guilty and all I can think is then why do any of this in the first place? I told him last night, if you were feeling this way, talk to me, hell even break up with me. I remember in the beginning our relationship, I told him that he'd have to break up with me because I don't like the idea of me breaking up with someone but hey, I broke up with him. He told me he had made some "big mistakes" and I said "you made choices. Not mistakes. Calling it a mistake is trying to avoid that the idea has a consequence" then he said "if you want me to suffer than just don't ever get back with me" and I said "I don't want you to suffer but no, I don't see us getting back together. I love you and I've forgiven you for the past shady shit you've done and I can forgive you for this but I will never forget it." I just can't be with him knowing he did this. I had this feeling for months that he was doing stuff behind my back and now that's it all confirmed, it makes me feel good now that I don't have to constantly worry about what my boyfriend is doing. I would worry so much it was making me sick. He would tell me he loved me, he wanted to marry me, he bought me a promise ring, he told me he wanted kids with me, told me he wanted to do everything with me. He told me how sorry he was, how guilty he felt because he said I'm the sweetest, kindest, caring, funniest and most loving person he's ever met and he's going to miss me heaps but all I can think about is like if he did love me, if he did think of me like that, why would he do what he did.
This morning, we were talking some more and I told him that even that I hated what happened, that I was still thankful for the memories because before him, I wasn't doing anything. I was just working and going to uni. My life was pretty boring but thanks to him, I found this confidence and I got all this self-esteem but even though it's only been a day, I can feel my confidence and self-esteem going away. I told my family this morning, well, I told my youngest sister (15) last night because she saw how upset I was and she said "you want me to beat him up" and my other sister (17), I told her this morning and she just called him a cunt and told me I'm better off. My mum, she loved my boyfriend so she was a bit disappointed in him but I was happy when she didn't react, she just sat there and listened to me and told me "maybe you two will work things out" and I told her "no, I don't think I can" and she said "and that's fine." I wish I could talk to my dad but I'm not out to him because he's like crazy homophobic even though my sisters have told me he's asked them if my ex and I were dating lol and said he's ok with it and will love me but I don't know, I'm just still scared to tell him. Maybe one day. My cousin (26) though, I'm very close with her, she's pan, I came out to her two years ago when we went to spread our aunties ashes (weird I know but we went for a walk and it felt right) and she basically told me "I knew it!" apparently everyone knew I was gay before I even came out. I honestly felt like I hid it well but nope. The only person who had no idea was my mum lol but my cousin told me, how she has never seen me happier and was so shocked when I told her that we broke up and the reason why. She thought he was a good guy. We all thought that.
On my grandparents anniversary card, they've been married for 50 years, which I mentioned above and I wrote "I hope I get to experience your type of love one day" in a sense that my ex and I, would end up celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary, even more in the future but unfortunately we won't but I know I will someday. One day. I'm only 21. I know not all guys are bad but for the mean time, I'll just be focusing on my assignments for uni, work, and getting back into the gym. It's been a while but I'm currently sitting in the library at uni writing this listening to a mix of fun songs and sad songs by Raye, Adele, Beyoncé, Lemonade hits different now that I can relate to the songs except Freedom because I'm not black. Love the song though. I'm white as paper. Milk even. I've been listening to Kim Petras, Ethel Cain, Miss Britney, Ariana Grande, again true story, bye and We Can't be friends hit different now. Who else? Rihanna, Megan thee Stallion, Glorilla, Bia, miss Olivia Rodrigo and some Taytay even though I'm not a big fan of miss swift, her pen game is strong. Respect. I've also been listening to Dua Lipa, Ayesha Erotica, Black Veil Brides, Queen Nicki, Billie Eilish, Chase Atlantic, The Neighbourhood, Charlie XCX, Kylie Minogue, Tate McRae, Villain of the Story, Loreen (Tattoo is amazing!), Doja Cat, also my guilty pleasure song, "Jam" by miss Kim K. I love her. I love a boss bitch. I've been told my music is very confusing. One minute I'm listening to "treat me like a slut" then Yungblud plays.
Anyways, I know I'll be alright.

Hello Y'all! I am just reposting the update and adding some insights in case my last post was removed.
OLD POST << Hello, folks! Some people here must have seen my last post about my experience with folliculitis and how it wouldn't stop coming back no matter what I did ( even after a ton of antibiotics and other medication for 6 months ) and I think I found out why. After endless textbooks and science papers, I finally came across some interesting papers :

• Cutaneous larva migrans with folliculitis: report of seven cases and review of the literature ( the most important )

⦁ Hookworm-Related Cutaneous Larva Migrans by Patrick Hochedez and Eric Caumes on Oxford Academic ( PDF online, this one contains very in depth information ) (( Just click on doi ))
⦁ Hookworm: An Uncommon Cause of Folliculitis in Travelers on Pubmed ( PDF online )
⦁ Hookworm folliculitis by Khaled Ezzedine and Thierry Pistone also on Pubmed
⦁ A Creeping holiday souvenir : about a misleading case of hookworm folliculitis on Oxford Academic.
There's a parasite that is so small and easily caught ( they come from animals, mostly dogs and cats ) that has the same characteristics of bacterial folliculitis. In fact, in some of these papers, it is said that if the antibiotics and nothing else works, it's probably this thing. They don't appear on blood tests and sometimes you can't see them even with a biopsy.
( Doctors found out because of a guess, actually. )
One thing that I did not find on textbooks and was surprised to read is: bacterial folliculitis rarely itches. Itching is the main sympton of parasitic folliculitis, in fact, the itching is worse at night. Although it was studied in 1929 at first and they are found everywhere ( principally in tropical and subtropical countries) most doctors end up missing the clues because these little f**ks are not that well known and they don't show the usual characteristics that parasites show ( for example, at first I thought they were scabies, but mine are not contagious so I ruled it out ) but this kind of parasite can be non contagious too.
By the way, I must specify that other kinds of folliculitis CAN itch too. Here they are talking about the difference between bacterial and parasitic folliculitis.
So it explains those past symptoms that I previously talked about :
⦁ Comes back after medication even if weeks later.
⦁ Sugar can make it worse ( parasites like that )
⦁ Heat and sweat make it worse.
⦁ There are no other symptoms like fever or pain ( apparently, the larvae can't reach deeper skin, so it stays trapped on the outer layers of skin. )
⦁ The lesions appear some days after first contact and can take very few days to appear other lesions.
⦁ The lesions follow a TRAIL. They can be linear or just jump from one place to another. They are always close initially before going onto other places.
⦁ It started on my thighs, but besides the thigh it is also common to appear first on the skin of your feet or above the gluteous. And then it goes to the rest of your body.
Yeah, so Doctors can end up misdiagnosing because it can look like scabies or bacterial folliculitis. As one of the papers said, it can last years because the parasite can die but come back. A person can get them anywhere but it's most common to get them after having contact with water or soil contaminated, even stepping on it for a second can be enough.
Another interesting thing is that infections of the skin can look different on everyone, no matter the race, so sometimes they can be parasitic but look like bacterial, virus, fungus folliculitis. Most of them usually have a brown dot in the middle though.
So I ask you guys to read those papers, they may help you. They talk about the medication that was used and apparently it's rare for them to have side effects, and of course, be careful with self medication, if you can please contact a medically qualified professional. I know that choice is not available to everyone but if you can, a second opinion can be very helpful.
Today I went to check with my doctor and everyone was very happy to confirm that that was the actual problem. So I am happy to share this information with you guys.
Cheers! >>
UPDATE ( 2 )
It's working. As I answered someone else back there " The good news is that was exactly the problem. The bad news is that folliculitis is a very uncommon thing to get when it comes to parasites and it's the hardest to get rid of, unfortunately. They basically say " It's hard to get rid of, take the meds until it's gone" because that's something that doesn't happen every day and the doctors and scientists are kind of not totally sure what to do. So I'm taking 12mg ivermectin every monday ( two pills of 6mg ) because that's usually what people do and works most of the time. At the start I had them all over my body, but then months later I took ivermectin for three days and they kind of died, so I had to stop taking any kind of medication for 30 days to take another lab test, but surprise, the lesions did not grow like before ( every 3 days ) , for a whole month I only got two or three new ones and they would die almost immediately. It really depends on the person how many times you'll have to take the medication, in my case , my immune system and overall health is not the best so it makes a bit of sense that it's taking a while."
I'll add a part of Cutaneous larva migrans with folliculitis: report of seven cases and review of the literature here as for some reason the paper is not uploading :
[ We reviewed all cases that were seen in our department from April 1991 to April 2000 of CLM in which creeping eruption was associated with folliculitis. Patients were included if they presented with localized folliculitis and creeping eruption. Folliculitis was defined as pustular follicular cutaneous lesions. Creeping eruption was defined as one (or more) linear or serpiginous mobile cutaneous track(s). The following information was recorded: age, sex, recent travel history, country visited, time from return to clinical onset and presentation, clinical signs, treatment and outcome. All the patients received oral antihelminthic agents, plus topical treatment in one case. Treatment options for CLM in our department include a single dose of oral ivermectin 12 mg weekly until cure, and oral albendazole 400 mg twice daily for three consecutive days.
Five patients were cured with one to three courses of ivermectin (unit dose 12 mg), including one also treated with thiabendazole ointment. Two patients were cured with albendazole 400 mg twice daily for three consecutive days. Lesions of folliculitis took longer to clear than those of creeping eruption.
Folliculitis is an uncommon clinical form of CLM, as only five cases have been reported in the literature. However, it may be more frequent than previously thought. For example, in a 2-year prospective study, CLM was observed in 69 patients, two of whom also had hookworm folliculitis. Folliculitis in a patient returning from (or residing in) an endemic country should lead to consideration of infection by a hookworm (or other nematode), even though bacteria are the most common cause. All the cases of parasitic folliculitis in our series and most of those found in the literature were pruritic, in contrast to most forms due to other microorganisms. The diagnosis of parasitic folliculitis was based on clinical findings alone. Histological studies are unnecessary, but show nematode larvae trapped within the follicular canal, stratum corneum or dermis, together with an inflammatory eosinophilic infiltrate. In three cases, the larvae were identified as Pelodera strongyloides, a free-living nematode belonging to the order Rhabditoidae. In another case of folliculitis the larvae were identified as Ancylostoma caninum, a hookworm. The pathogenesis of parasitic folliculitis may be related to an allergic reaction to the presence of the nematode larva in the follicular canal.
The remaining patient's clinical signs subsided only more than 2 months after presentation. In one case, thiabendazole eradicated the creeping eruption but not the follicular lesions. Our experience is similar. The clinical response to a single 12-mg dose of oral ivermectin was less favourable in our patients with folliculitis that in most other patients with CLM. A single dose of ivermectin cured two of five patients in our series, whereas it usually gives cure rates of 81-100% in CLM. Treatment was repeated until the pruritus disappeared, this symptom being indicative of parasite viability. In conclusion, folliculitis should be added to the dermatological manifestations of CLM. The clinical diagnosis is facilitated by the pruritic nature of the lesions and their association with serpiginous tracks. Treatment is more difficult than in classical forms of CLM. ]
So yeah, hope this helps a bit.
Please be very careful, these medications can be harsh on your organs and I am not exaggerating, drink plenty of water.

https://www.reddit.com/whatisthisthing/s/dPFdXTbRDr
I don't know if destiny led me to create a reddit profile to specifically post this or what?? PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE POST AND IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE. Thanks! <3
Because it so happens that I was direly looking for some kind of catalyst to boost this 'COLD CASE OF A FATAL HIT AND RUN' which is potentially solvable if public makes enough pressure.
Jibin Benoy, an aspiring engineer, a bright bright young man, was going home on September 18, 2022, early morning after finishing his late night closing shift at 4am from his workplace in LONDON, ONTARION. While biking on his way back home, he was fatally killed by a dark colored sedan.
That's it, that's the end of it....
I knew this case was going to go cold faster than anything else...two weeks from the incident, it was hardly ever liked the incident ever happend. Now let me be very clear, I have no connection with Jibin Benoy at all but somehow his fatal accident is so so emotionally connected with me because I am an immigrant to a foreign land like him. I have heard about plethora of cases where international students are brutally killed and are not given 'PROPER ATTENTION' or 'ENOUGH JUSTICE' just because it's easy to get through something like and have no one care about it. Also just because, it's too difficult for any international student (immigrant) to fight for justice because it's expensive and are often overlooked at!!!! I just want to make whatever little effort I can to give his griving family some kind of justice and his departed soul some kind of peace.
I have made couple of descriptive photos of him related to this incident which you'll find in this thread along with a 'ghost bike' which was his remembrance for the onlookers on-site. I frequently visit the incident site as it is on my usual route and nowadays 'that ghost bike' is ALL CRAP AND DAMAGED AND VANDALIZED.
Here's the official investigation link (https://www.londonpolice.ca/en/news/hit-run-investigation-22-88891.aspx) where all updates looks same to me, but of course, I am no law or don't have keen eyes as them. But, to be honest, the law enforcement are STILL FIGURING OUT WHICH MAKE AND MODEL IT WAS???? I mean, they have '3' diffrent footages of 'supposed vehicle' in question and through forensics, they's can't even make out the name and model of the vehicle??? Like, my dumb-layman brain can tell that the photo showed in Update #6 is not 'road' but a 'a parking lot or a rear part of any building' and it shouldn't be too complex to reverse track the origin..I guess. That's where REDDIT comes in place and especially 'this community - WhatIsThisThing' where I have heard that experts around the world have solved some ridiculously complex cases by providing their feedback about 'what' 'is' 'this' 'thing'. More specifically, only when I was direly looking to spark up this case, and was out of all the options in my 'common-brain' mind, I came across this video (When Redditors Solved Crimes: The Cases Closed by Internet Detectives - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxMrBBEkE1E). O MY MY, the first case that the youtuber talks about is EERILY SIMILAR to this case and guess what...it made me so so so happy and thrilled...like I know it's nothing new related to case but at least it has given me a chance to put a little spark to the case to make it to the right people..
Frankly speaking, there could be something 'fishy' or not...like, I have driven around the incident site (https://maps.app.goo.gl/3jzm6dWDgjm6vVkH7) many times, and within 2 km radius, if you do stree-view, there are tons of CCTVs, like tons tons, goddamit, it's a road with lot's of commercial shops around it and I hate to believe that HAMILTON/ADELAIDE (one of the busiest and vulnerable, about 100 meters from the incident site) intersections of London, ON would not have any government cameras hanging on the signal poles, a busy end of the downtown-edge. Also, police station is LESS THAN A KILOMETER AWAY!!!!
People that I have talked to have said that these 'Hit and Runs' are too complex to solve, but are they really?? In today's world, where we all are being watched constantly, is there not a single footage which could have caputured this incident in action (post-action or pre-action) so that the vehicle is identified?
P.S. I also want to tag 'geoguesser' or 'rainbolt' because I have been seeing his clips lately, and man his visual remembering capacity is on another level...at least he can tell where those footages are from and especially the parking lot of #update6. Also, if he or anyone else can tell what make and model of the vehicle it is?? I don't know, sometimes I feel all updates have different vehicles in them or maybe they are all the same it's just my head playing with me. Thanks to all all all the people of the world who contribute to greater good of this planet and for expecting nothing in return. Afterall, that's the prime definition of what 'human' is.
I will try to tag as many agencies as possible to get the traction. That’s it. I’ll let law do their part, I’m definitely not qualified enough to make any statements, being a random person who can’t ignore ignorance from big agencies (such as law enforcement and media), hoping this will just kindle a new light to this cold cold case.
In hopes, that post might lead police in right direction. Thank you all!!! Have a good and safe day ahead. Peace.

So this is just a rant about a fanfic I just read and felt the need to share with the internet, I won't title it or name where it comes from but if you know then tell me your thoughts about it.
There's something about this story I hate so much it made me cry. The story is meant to be like a Fix-It, you know, time travel allows the main character to go back in time and do things differently with some new knowledge about how things turn out. So the story already has a heavy focus on saving the souls of like two people. The sister who is cursed and is currently dying, she's part of the focus but she's not really the focus, the focus is the brother who dives into dark magic in order to save her. The problem with this story is how much this plot actually doesn't matter until it suddenly crammed into the last chapter, making it one of the longest in the story and also sloppy. The story otherwise is filled with fluff and the main character knowingly and yet unknowingly, somehow, flirting with three different guys one of them being the brother, let's call him Boy A, the other being his best friend, Boy B, and then a third, Boy C. It's full of the MC getting her friend group together, full of companionship and kindness, with very little actual substance in the story besides a few noteworthy moments. These are fix it moments when you change the outcome of what originally happened with no real difference because it's not given any correct amount of care. This story is so unnecessary long because it's full of fluff moments that the plot, which ultimately could have fit in one story, because it's 300,000 words, is being split into a second. I get that this is partly a romance story but that's actually one of the issues because it's a romance story and yet it's very obviously that Boy A is the focus, that flirting with Boys B and C is useless drama. I say useless because in the back end of the story she admits she doesn't know what romance is. So now I really feel like I've wasted my time because she admits she doesn't know what romance is and doesn't have any romantic feelings for anyone.
So on top of this useless love square she has created with herself in the middle, the author still found a way to mistreat the character and plot she had neglected at the end. Returning to Boy A, not only does she keep things from him and lie to him often about the things she knows about him or the things she knows about his sister's condition, she even lies about who causes her condition because the MC just doesn't trust him at all. There comes a point when he starts to go on his own way to solve his sister's curse because at this point no one's giving him anything to work on and this is his original path anyway. So because she's just been wasting her time having fun and oh so flirty moments, the boy continues to the point in which he starts to research in dark magic because literally no one's given him anything to save his sister with and she's currently deteriorating right in front of his eyes and they expect him to wait for something that is clearly not there. But the worst part is that this actually does change from the original story. Instead of grabbing his friends and going on this dark path together, he takes it alone and they follow after him only to then blame him when they catch up. He even tells them that he didn't want to get them in danger that's why he chose to do it alone, he would at this point rather harm himself over the MC. And yet she still guilt trips the guy who at this point she had already mentioned is emotionally damaged and slowly losing his mind. The failure of this narrative to have any sympathy for a character it already knows is emotionally compromised literally hurts my brain because that means to me that sympathy is dictated by the MC and no other character in this narrative is going to, at any point, argue against her actions. Not only because every other male character that isn't specifically tied down to another female character loves her but because the only other guy in the situation is his best friend and he has also fallen for the MC. In fact, his love for MC overcomes his understanding of his best friend. There is a weak patch job for their friendship , but as I have mentioned its weak but they love MC more than their friendship.
So yeah I've come away from this realizing I have indeed read 300,000 words of a Mary Sue character wasting her time doing fluff with characters that are interesting but unnecessary and stringing along three different guys while ignoring the actual plot. So yeah, a waste of time.

I (21F) have an issue with my best friends (20F) boyfriend (24M). We currently don't live in the same country. Back in March, I took a trip to visit her after not seeing her for 5 months or so. She had just started seeing her neighbor and sleeping over at his apartment. He's the island's biggest drug dealer and is an addict to many drugs. She is the complete opposite; into skincare, her health, and works a "normal" job. He comes from a good family and chose this path. The thing is, she always told me she never wants to be with him in public because she doesn't want to be known as the "drug dealer's girlfriend", which I totally agree.
The island is small and people talk. I've had phone conversations with her, and he acts very weird; almost like a little baby trying to get mom's attention on the phone. He constantly has girls come over to buy, and all the strippers want him, since he used to date/sleep with almost all of them. When I was talking to her about planning to come visit her, he was not a big fan of it. He doesn't want to share her to say the least. When I ended up visiting her, I met him, unwillingly, at his place. He did a line of coke 3 minutes after being introduced. He didn't engage conversation with me and barely looked at me. He wanted to include himself in our plans, not because he wants to bond, but because he wants to watch out for her because he doesn't trust her.
One night, me and my best friend went out to the club. She got very wasted and we ended up leaving. While we were out, he was blowing up her phone. She blacked out on the drive home; she was drunk and I was completely sober. He called her 22 times on the drive home. I ended up picking up one of the calls because it was driving me insane and in a stern voice said that she was really fucked up but I'm completely sober and not to freak out because I'm driving her home. Got home and he was already waiting her us and was telling her how she is pathetic for being in the state that she is. Obviosuly I was defended her because what kind of drug dealer boyfriend tells his gf that kind of crap, let alone in front of her best friend? We got into an argument because he was getting on my nerve and told him to just leave her with me. Basically he ended up saying that "look how she is when she's with you". I was recording him because in case he said some really fucked up shit or did something I would have proof. She ended up getting dragged to his place while I was stuck in her apartment, and the next morning, my best friend told me how he was talking shit about me.
I'd never do that to her, to shit on her boyfriend to her face, but the fact that he did that kind of shows the amount of brain he has left. After I left, I pretty sure they talked about the situation because he was telling her how he wants a do-over with me.
Even when we call each other, which doesn't happen often, he acts like such a cry baby: ex. scaring her, or pretending to leave, or asking when she is done talking.
The fact that I was treated badly even just one time doesn't really motivate me to try again.
Now she is going to be visiting me for a month, but the boyfriend is coming along and they rented an apartment together. After that month is over we're supposed to go on a trip together: which he does not approve because they would be separated. While she is visiting me, she wants all three of us to do something together. I am 100% not down, but I never answered her yes or no.
I am very uncomfortable thinking about the possibility of running into him. I don't know how to just explain that to her straight up. I want to just suck it up and be a good friend to her, but I feel like an asshole if I told her that I can't see him. I don't know how to come about this to her.
How do I bring this up and would I be a shitty friend doing so?

My husband (34M) and I (32F) have been together for 6 years and now have a 10 month old baby. I moved out here to the Bay Area from the east coast for him and our life together. I feel as is I have made a lot of sacrifices on my end and am starting to become resentful towards my husband and in laws. For background context I come from an immigrant family raised poor and have done very well for myself. I was the first one in my entire extended family to go to college and still the only one to be a collegiate athlete. I have worked since I was 14 at any hosting/waitressing gig that I could find. To this day I still help support my family financially as most eldest children of immigrants do. Regardless I managed to save up 250k by age 27. I fell in love with my husband at that age and decided to move out to him after a 1 1/2 year of making long distance work. We were both on the same page of what we wanted in life with family etc. My now husband however is a white male with a relatively privileged background in comparison. Moving 3000 miles from everything I knew was hard for sure but I jumped in and made it work and found a way. After moving to california I found a good paying job in a new industry/career I wanted to pursue after only 3 months. And quickly in 5 years I am now able to make annually what I had originally saved up. As I’m sure everyone knows affording living in California is no easy feat but with my large lump savings it has allowed us to become home owners. After having a baby however the stress of finances and reliable help has heightened. Day care for a 40 hour work week is 3000-4000 a month in my area, and as hard as I’ve researched there is nothing (and I wish I was exaggerating) under 2900 a month. Before taxes are taken out that is easily the equivalent of a 60-70k job. My mother in law is a retired pre school teacher of almost 40 years. Part of the reasoning of my move was to have my MIL around to help raise our babies. She seems like a perfect fit right? We weighed out all 3 options, move to him, move to me, or move somewhere new entirely. We both wanted to be close to family and decided that my husbands place would be the most ideal. He also kind of guilt tripped me into agreeing that since they were older than my parents and its best to spend more time with them as we‘ll have more time with my mom later. My MIL however is the most passive aggressive person I have ever met, BUT ONLY TO ME! She has 2 sons and I am married to the youngest. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her other daughter in law but would literally suck her d*** to get her approval. I have always gone above and beyond to be kind and giving to her. In comparison to her other daughter in law I am a complete 180. She has a key and an open door policy to my place, I converse and spend time with her for hours and I constantly cook and or buy dinner for them on a weekly basis. I am thoughtful and buy all the family’s presents for all holidays and birthdays. When the men are around she is the sweetest thing but when its just us, always throws the most jabs at me. From saying things like “oh my you sure you’re not going to break your ankle in those or are you just trying to get attention” “wow more food are you trying to make me fat/out do me?” “Is that new, ive never seen it, do you have a shopping addiction he he” To even “I'm not sure we need you around here making us look bad you sure you don’t miss the east coast?” I take it in the chin with a smile on my face and always change the subject as I was always taught to not talk back to my elders. My husband told that she was going to take care of the baby once its time for me to go back to work. Weeks before that time came she started talking about how busy she was with volunteering and sending daycare recommendations our way as a hint. When her and my husband had that talk everything seemed fine as she started watching the baby 5x a week. Im the one who does the drop off and pick up however and I have to hear it every day 2x a day. To her son she only says how happy and lucky she is to get to spend time with her granddaughter etc. To me she is saying how it takes up so much of her time and its boring watching a baby. My husband doesn’t even believe me. After sacrificing my family (which I miss so deeply) my friends, and even my passion in life which was coaching youth sports just to jump in the corporate bs world because I recognized quickly that’s what it would take to live comfortably out here, IM DRAINED. All my money, time, efforts and energy have gone into him and his family pretty much and I can’t even get the support I was promised. Honestly it would have been easy for me to just buy a house straight up for 250k on the east coast have no mortgage, just coach and make a little money but it was what made me happy, and have my mom around who would happily help with our babies around. Instead I’ve given it all to this man for this situation and for my MIL to constantly complain about “how much i do for you” instead of recognizing how much I’ve done for her son. It infuriates me. My mother would view this as a privilege not a burden and cries every time we have to FaceTime. My MIL has asked me to ”take a day or two off work every week” or “make sure you try to be here by 2 when my shows starts” and I’m at a breaking point. I’ve been sneaking into work late and getting out early for months now just to ease her load. But I’m struggling at work and it’s noticeable in my results now. I also make more money then my husband by 6 figures and have the financial pressures on my back. One day I snapped back with “that’s something you're gonna need to talk to your son about” and all hell broke loose. My husband came home pissed that I had said so many derogatory things to his mom, shamed her for not being a good enough caretaker, the works. She then said she “needed space” and I took a week off work in order to take care of the baby. I went to try and smooth things over with her after a couple days and found her incredibly hammered at 9am in the morning. Stumbling on her words and feet my FIL came out looking mortified and tried to hide her back in her room. I figured she was upset and left it at that only to try to go back the next morning TO THE SAME THING. After talking to my husband he finally tells me that she is a struggling alcoholic and has been for 50 years! He says “but she’s a functioning alcoholic so she just needs to get this intense period out of her system she’ll bounce back“ The rage and disbelief I had with both the situation and my husband was out of control. Was she drinking while watching the baby? You knew about this and put our daughter in that situation? To save money on daycare you let our daughter there knowingly? Functioning wtf?! Was all her BS a way to get distance so she could drink? The more I thought back there were definitely days where I just thought she was more loopy than others, was that her drinking a moderate amount.? After talking to my SIL it was and she has been drinking every day without a day off for the last 20 years and that’s why they had a tainted relationship. I didn‘t talk to my husband for days and started looking for other homes on the east coast closer to my family. After a couple days I sat him down and only said this.. “Here are other homes we can move to or you get another job to cover the bills or I’m reporting all of you to CPS and there is no more us and our family” It feels harsh, so Am I the A****** for bluntly dropping this ultimatum on my husband?

I believe there are many different kinds of intelligence. There’s lots different kinds of ‘smart’. And in a reality tv sense, Nicole is dumb. She can’t seem to formulate a point when put on the spot, which leads me to wonder why she says some of things she says, or makes jabs, or starts issues. Because I have no faith in her ability to navigate those situations, especially with producer influence. After seeing 6 seasons of this show play out where there are public call outs, heated conversations, and cameras and mics every where just waiting for you to say/do something dumb in order to get good messy tv, I don’t know why Nicole put herself in this situation. She’s not good at it. She doesn’t know how to clap back and just stutters her way through arguments. The best thing she could do, is just go back to being a realtor that I know nothing about. And I will, I know nothing of her business side because all I know of her is starting problems she can’t finish. She should not continue on this show. It’s okay to be bad at reality tv. I would suck at it. I wish for Nicole that she goes back to being a professional in the background.

Party: Me, Fire Sorlock Tav 11/1 w/ prestigious juice build Brother, 8shadow monk/4rogue- he carries the psychic stone thing and summons a psychic blade with a ring concentration spell and does some huge single target DPS in fights
So the last two I’m considering doing a full respec but have been back and forth on what to do!
3) Shart Light Cleric- 1storm sorcerer and the rest light cleric, rocking all RadOrb gear and phalar aluve 4) Karlach 5barb/4rogue/3fighter champion TB throwing build- She got the +2 strength potion and also got +2 strength from Mirror, i missed the good throwing gloves from saving the guy in mushroom field but otherwise she’s pretty cracked, uses Nyrulna and dual wielding feat to have +3 initiative shield.
So we just entered act 3, and after some skirmishes to get to level 11 went straight to House of grief. Got the +2 mirror stats on all characters. I thought I had done everything right to bring all of our friends from Last Light Inn to act 3… did halsin quest, saved isobel in the Marcus fight, etc. so last thing of act 2 before fighting Ketheric was to go to Shar temple, and I wanted to get Shars spear because I was considering using it on Karlach for throwing in act 3… had NO idea killing nightsong would destroy last light inn so that sucked, so no Dammon in act 3. Also i failed to get potent robe. But OTHERWISE, i feel like I either have most important items for cool builds (or have access to them still in act 3)
Of Note- i have all of the Dark Justiciary Gear from killing shar and Viconia, but haven’t really ever seen an S tier build posted somewhere for how to build a character around that kit. Also, sometimes it has been hard to avoid hitting party members with Aoe damage from Nyrulna.
Option A) keep RadOrb Shart and TB Karlach for the rest of game and hope that’s enough. Probably would be?
Option B) some sort of Dark Justiciar build for Shart or Karlach. (Don’t care about an RP elements, either of them can be whatever class would be best, but the permanent bonuses they have gained are +2wis for shart and +4 str for Karlach)
Option C) I’ve stockpiled shit tons of arrows on this playthrough and have considered some sort of switch to a ranged character. I have dead shot and Titan string collecting dust at camp. I have helmet of arcane acuity and BMS not being used, I have diadem that gives arcane something not being used.
Option D) respec Karlach into Eldritch knight thrower? Not sure if she could make better use of items that way, and i don’t know if it would be superior to TB Barb thrower or more of a lateral move… but would dark justiciar gear be good on a 12 eldritch knight?
Or please recommend whatever else you think is good. Not sure if the Light Cleric RadOrb falls off in late game honor mode, and same with current Karlach build. Thanks for any discussion/advice. Note that if you are willing to take the time to offer suggestion, I will probably ask you for very specific details about the build and items, still fairly new, this is my second playthrough and first honor mode one. Hoping to bring it home

I (29F) and husband (32M) have been together for five years. He's the love of my life: attentive, empathic, proactive, intelligent, funny, caring, interesting, and much more. I still cannot believe someone like him exists. He deserves the best in the world. I've always been a hopeless romantic and very affectionate to people in my life. I've always given more than I've received (emotionally, materialisticly and physically) and was fine with that, because it is in my nature.
Well, when I met my husband, he was the first person who matched my vibe. He was even worse than me which I had to learn to accept in the beggining because it was all new to me. I still have a lot of trouble not feeling discomfort or appreciating his gestures. Nonetheless, he made me feel seen, loved, and I've experienced and got things I could have never imagined. I knew he was the one for me, I've never doubted that and I still don't. If anything, I feel like I am lacking and the lesser one in the relationship.
I feel ashamed, disappointed, and dumb. Somehow along the way, I've started feeling smothered by the things I appreciated so much before. I feel like I have lost myself, the affectionate person I was. The best way I can describe it is there is no need to anymore, since he does all the work.
As background, I think I show my love in gifts, gestures and acts of services: buying him flowers and a cake when he comes back home after leaving for a while, or buying him something he wanted for a while, or something that made me think of him, writing him a heartfelt specific message about what I love about him, preparing a special night, cleaning the house before he gets home after a long shift/when he's busier, or making a new three services meal just because. I've never doubted that my mom loved me because of all the gestures and help she gave me. She didn't need to tell me she loved me constantly or give me physical affection, because I already knew. Therefore, those are not my automatism and I've had to learn to incorporate them inside our everyday life, even if they don't mean much to me. As far as I've known, words and closeness can just be a facade and the formers demand more thinking and personnalization (not bashing anyone who prioritize those love languages, just trying to explain how they make me feel on a personnal level).
I know the next paragraph is a lot of people's dream, and these "bad" scenarios even sound silly to me. Boohoo, my significant other loves me, but I feel confused about these new feelings. For examples: he always wants to be with me. He loves me very deeply and lets me know he does by telling me multiple times a day. He always compliments me, even in front of others, but I don't appreciate PDA. He wants to hug me when he comes back home or I do, but I often feel overstimulated/overwhelmed. He wants me to aknowledge everything he says or do, and finds it odd how silent I am. He uses my slangs, eats what I eat, do what I do. He wants to know how my day was, and he most of all never wants to disappoint me in any way. This means asking me if I want a spoon or fork with a meal, in a bowl or a plate, to eat at the table or on the couch, if I want water or if I'm good. Asking me if the food is good the second I put it in my mouth. He also has terrible earing which means I have to repeat my answers a lot. He's also terribly clumsy, which means when he does something, it will probably give me more work than if I did it myself in the first place. This has the exact opposite effect of what he's trying to achieve, because it is all these questions that makes me annoyed.
I do get writing this that it's a toxic cycle: he tries to gain my affection, it ends up doing the opposite, he doubles down, and so on and so forth.
As far as what I've tried: I do ask for time alone, but feel it breaks his heart everytime. He feels rejected and I know it. I've tried to explain to him my feelings, but for him it is foreing. He thinks it's a lack of love on my part, that I don't like him as a person...
I now do get short-tempered and annoyed. Something as simple as kissing my head makes me want to move my head so he can't reach it. I hate myself. I hate what I have become, and I need therapy ASAP before it ruins a good marriage.

Hey all,
I'm 36m with a 43f ex and we share a daughter. We've been on and off for years. When dd was 2 weeks old she made me pick up our daughter after work saying she no longer wanted her, shortly after I bought a house. After this she started having money problems so she came to live with me on and off for around 6 years. During this time I supported her financially, helped her with her various medical issues, we celebrated everything together, everything was pretty normal.
For a few months maybe 3 or 4 years ago she did move away and stopped contact between me and dd, so I took her to court and got custody due to being more stable, after that she had more issues and came to live with us again, and again for years things were normal.
A few months ago she transferred flats to my area and things start to change. One week shes play fighting and grinding on me, the next she wont even look at me, I figure maybe its due to her medication, but today she seemed different somehow. I asked her why and she texted me back saying that things change, I asked what changed, she said she'd found someone new (a 28y/o guy).
After years of trying my best this just sent me on a downward spiral, I cut contact temporarily I got curious, I checked social media and found they worked together before and been "facebok official" for months. This sent me crazy and I said some pretty hurtful stuff, then dd came home from her day out I asked if she knew, she knew tons but mummy said to keep it secret.
Her mother claims to be in a single occupant house and gets benefits for this and disability, and again my gut told me to check where he lives, same street, possibly the same house, no wonder her benefit mail was coming to my house!. My daughters been staying in a house with (or belonging to) her moms bf of 3 months. She also often says shes ill so she cant have our daughter a lot, even having her other daughter bring ours back last week due to pain.
I have no idea where to go from here, I've now I've told her I cant deal with her, heart-broken, feel betrayed and honestly dont know how to continue, I need help but in the mean-time I know my kid needs her mom, even if she doesnt see her much as it is, I just can't face the situation anymore, cant handle the lies, seeing her face, the thought of my kid being told to keep secrets from me, the idea of her staying in some randomers house (2 of her exes have been in trouble for SA), I dont know what to do, honestly I said some really nasty stuff calling out her lies and calling her names, then I blocked her number, sent her new fling a message showing her talking about us being "touchy feely" a few weeks ago, said good luck, then blocked him too.
I dont have anyone to talk to about it all so advice would be awesome, but Am I a bad parent? Also if you made it this far, tysm for reading.

While many people hated the Chainsaw Man Church Arc build up, I enjoyed it a lot. But what ill agree with is that lots of the tension was changed with Quanxi appearing and 1 shotting. Even now during the facility arc where she doesn't have trouble fighting Yoru.
Shoutout to u/SherewZino. Read their post and really agreed with most of their points.
Chainsaw Man Arc Rewritten
Quanxi Arrives

1. Quanxi still kills everyone and the events continue until the Chainsaw man guys wake up

Yoshida ambushes Yoru

1. It's a POV switch to the Yoru and Yoshida and continuous how it's supposed to with Yoru preparing to go on a rampage cause she's overjoyed by her new power.

Denji vs Barem Part 1

1. Following Yoshida and Yoru, the narrative circles back to Barem, Denji, Fumiko, and Nayuta. Barem begins his psycho speech again, engaging all three of them into a brutal fight. Aided by Fumoko, Denji fights Barem. Denji is surprised he is fighting in his base form. Barem in his internal thought sees that the Chainsaw Man plan is working and is powering Denji up. However, the situation escalates with Barem transforming into his flamethrower form, becoming a threat to both Fumiko and Denji. As the battle intensifies, Barem relentlessly taunts Denji to transform so he could witness the full power of Chainsaw Man.
   
2. Kishibe, alongside Quanxi, arrives at the scene. During the Quanxi ambush against the 3 fiends, Kishibe was actually there at the food court eating. Kishibe orders Quanxi to evacuate the 3, then shares a brief yet impactful message with Denji about balancing his human and Chainsaw Man side. Flamethrower form Barem vs Kishibe begins with Kishibe having the upper hand most of the fight. Knowing Kishibe is about to destroy him, Barem resorts to a big fire blast to escape, leaving Kishibe heavily injured. From the distance Yoru notices this fire blast and begins heading this way. Yoshida who happens to arrive here cause has been running this whole time sees Kishibe and takes him to safety.
   

Yoru vs Quanxi (Rip Quanxi)

1. Continuing the narrative, Fumiko, Denji, Quanxi, and Nayuta talks among themselves for a bit before suddenly encountering Yoru. Yoru tells them "What a surprise here" while Denji gives a puzzled look thinking why Asa is there and looks different. Yoru says, "Someone among you smells like Chainsaw Man" then suddenly launches herself at them but her attack is blocked by Quanxi. The other 3 runs away leaving Quanxi behind to fight Yoru
   
2. As Quanxi's life flashes before her eyes, memories of Kishibe floods her thoughts, thinking how Makima stopped those two from being a thing. The scene reaches its climax as Yoru ends Quanxi's life by putting her hand on her head and transforming her into a overpowered bow.
   

Alley Way

1. Now we're with Denji, Nayuta, and Fumiko. We get the exact same alley scene where Fumiko ends up running from Denji because of Nayuta.

Burning House

1. This part goes like how it did in the main story where Denji and Nayuta arrives to their home burning. Fumikos team arrives and starts shooting barem. However, they get interrupted by Miri and the two other fiends.

Denji vs Miri and two other fiends

1. Denji mentally breaks down like the main story and he begins tearing up the 3 fiends. The first two gets low diffed while Barem cheers on the side lines how he finally saw Denji transformed. Fumiko ends up shooting him making him shut up. Miri clashes with Denji in a stand off shocked by how aggressive and broken Denji is and says "Denji...", where Denji ends up slicing him in half.

Denji vs Fumiko

1. In the moment of rage, Denji seeks for another target. He sees Fumiko and her team and begins attacking them. Denji kills nearly all of Fumikos team but before the last one, Fumiko protected her last team member and tells him to run away. While running away, that person takes a photo of Denji and gets away. This fight continous on but Fumiko is no matched for Denji. Finally, instead of resisting Chainsaw Man any further, Fumiko lets herself get stabbed through the stomach. Using the last moment of her life, she pats Denjis head and says, "Thank you for saving me... Denji". Miri who is on the floor witnessing all of this screams Fumikos name.
   
2. Fumiko wakes up in the after life and sees her parents again.
   

Nayuta saves Denji (The Power saving Denji of Part 2)

1. Denji begins hyperventilating realizing he killed Fumiko cause he let Chainsaw Man takeover. Using this opportunity, Barem makes the Chainsaw soldiers attack him. The story continous like the main part with how it was supposed too and it ends up with Nayuta saving Denji then getting shot by Barem.
   
2. Instead of ending up at the hospital, Denji is at a garbage can then is saved by Nail and Katana.
   
3. Denji finally wakes up but out of nowhere Katana Man kicks his balls! Denji realizes he's in a room with the two students, Katana Man, and Nail. He ends up breaking down and saying where's Nayuta and that he has to go but Nail stops him and shows him the news. The news broadcasts the last devil hunter, protected by Fumiko, who captured the image of Denji's battle, labeling Chainsaw Man as a societal menace warranting eradication. Just as tension mounts, a knock echoes through the door, revealing the ominous presence of none other than Yoru. She says, "I know Chainsaw Man is here." (Due to the smell)
   

Denji vs Yoru (The Aki vs Denji of Part 2)

1. Approaching the door, Denji is hit by sudden trauma, haunted by visions of Aki waiting for him on the other side. Then suddenly a Yoru blast the door, desotring the building and sending Denji flying. Nail and Katana Man protects Kobeni and the Chainsaw Man fan from most of the damage.
   
2. The Chainsaw Man fanboy student tries to think why Yoru would even smell Chainsaw Man there then finally drawing to the conclusion tnat Denji is Chainsaw Man. We get a panel of where it's zoomed into the broken rubble and out of nowhere... a transformed Denji jumped out
   
3. Yoru and Chainsaw Man clashes. Yoru mid diffs the fight but the way she ends it is by taking out the transformed Quanxi bow leaving Denji stunned for a second cause he realizes Yoru killed Quanxi where finally he is shot by a big blast through his body, leaving him fatally injured.
   
4. Before Yoru lands the final blow on Chainsaw Man, Denji goes back to human form because he's out of blood causing Yoru to hesitate. We are left with a cliffhanger of Yoru transforming back to Asa and her saying, "Denji?"
   
5. Fami arrives completely stopping the fight
   

Trying to make Denji Happy

1. From here we get a continuation of the last 3 chapters up to the current of where they're just talking and making jokes where we are transitioning into public safety, Chainsaw Man zombies, and society vs Denji and the gang arc.
   
2. Eventually Denji and the gang is spotted by a public safety hunter and it gets reported back to the base where Yoshida, strong public safety members, Miri and the two other fiends join him. (Miri joins because he didn't like how Fumiko died)
   

Public Safety vs Team Denji

1. Finally we transition into Public Safety vs Denji Team Arc where during this arc a Miri vs Denji clash happens and many more. The climax of this arc is Public Safety + team Denji team up defeats a boosted Barum who finds a way to take Nayutas powers and the Chainsaw Man zombies. The arc ends with Nayuta killing Barem once her powers comeback.

Transition to Chainsaw Man Part 3: Death Devil
Death Devil vs Team Part 1

1. Suddenly not having a break, Death Devil desceneds from the sky. Death Devil summons dead people Denji loved traumitizing Denji (Dead power, Makima, Aki, etc...). Death Devil kills off some Public Safety Members, Nail, Katana, Whip and Spear,

Hell

1. Fami sends Denji, the crew, Miri, and some public safety members to hell to hide from death devil. Denji who is traumitized by seeing all the dead people remembers Powers wish and begins finding the blood devil.
   
2. The crew now needs to escape hell but before escaping hell Fami wants to try to get the Primal Devils to help them. They go through fighting many Devils and finally arrived but out of nowhere it becomes dark again. Denji, Kobeni, and Power is traumitized because they remember Darkness Devil but Fami makes him come out and reveals all the Primal Devils seated around them.
   

(Kobeni returned during the Public Safety vs Team Denji arc to save her brother from Public Safety)

1. Fami talks to the Primal devils, it takes time to convince them because of what Fami did to Falling Devil.

Back to normal World

1. The crew heads back to the normal world to find it very different with Death Devil taken completely over. Seeing people jump off roofs, hurt their friends, etc... A lot of dead corpses from the past walk around the normal world.

Final Fight with Death Devil

1. Death Devil dies

List of deaths during the final arc against Death Devil
--4 Primals die leaving 2 left (Darkness was an impactful one)
--Kobeni makes a sacrifice for her little brother, giving him courage and transforming into a better version of Kobeni (Fujimoto wanted to kill her off before anyways)
--Miri: Miri and Denji ended up becoming best friends during the Public Safety vs Team Denji Arc. His death is a sacrifice for Denji where it complete impacts Denji
--Yoru: Sacrifices her soul to become a OP weapon for Asa
--New characters introduced during Part 3 and the Public Safety vs Denji arc
--Makima and Aki: Death Devil revived them to fight Denji but they gain their conciousness again. They help kill Death Devil but Death Devils death they had to disappear

1. Story ends

Summary: Just as you thought you managed to escape, your soon-to-be husband caught you and brought you back to your castle. Even though they keep telling you how much they care for you, you know they’re only after your position as queen. They’ve been willing to do anything to have you… even if it meant using dark magic. You won’t let them get into your head again… right?
Author’s notes:
Hiya! As you might be able to tell this is the first script I’ve ever written. I gave my best and I sincerely hope that you guys enjoy it (; (You may use the script, but don’t forget to give credit). Have fun <3
Notes:
“* … *”: emphasis.
“(…)”: suggested emotions / actions
"[...]": Listener speaking
Script:
(annoyed sigh) Have you calmed down yet?
(Footsteps as Speaker enters the Listener’s room)
Wow… you threw a hell of a tantrum in here. Doesn’t really fit a (princess’s / prince’s / royal’s) behavior now, does it?
[…]
My fault? Oh please. You can’t even acknowledge your own mistakes.
[…]
Yes, I did lock you up in here. However, I don’t recall telling you to smash and or destroy everything in this room. (sarcastic) But what do I know? You know everything so so much better than me, don’t you?
[…]
(amused) Of course, you sound like that. You refuse to see that even you need help from time to time… (mumbling to himself, a bit too loud) probably more than most of us do…
[…]
(quickly hiding amusement; acting more caring) Stupid? No, no… don’t put words in my mouth like that, honeybun. I never called you stupid. I would rather say you’re… misguided… and in need of help. That’s what I am here for. It’s what I was always meant to do. To help and protect you. To stand by your side. And, therefore, it is your fate to stand by mine.
[…]
(sigh) Oh, honeybun… my sweet sweet honeybun. I know that all of this must be quite hard on you. I mean, as a (princess / prince / royal) you must have a lot on your plate. Trust me, I get it. I’d be the last person to judge you for it.
And I also get that your top priority is your kingdom… and your people. That’s the reason why you need me to help you out. All this stress is making you… short-sighted. You try anything and everything to make your people happy. You’re completely disregarding your own personal needs.
Look at you! I can see those heavy bags under your eyes. (softly spoken) God… you’re practically working yourself to death at this point.
[…]
(a bit more agitated) Just… just think about it for a moment. You and I could be king and queen of this kingdom. I could remove all of your stress. All you need to do is let me in. Let me in just like you did when we first got to know each other.
[…]
Look at me, honeybun.
[…]
(angry, yet trying to be subtle) Look. At. Me.
[…]
(content sigh) There you go. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, just relax. Take some deep breaths for me. You remember this, don’t you?
[…]
Yes. Yes, you do. Of course you do. How could you forget how good this makes you feel? How could you forget how good I make you feel? How good it feels to just let yourself fall into that state of pure relaxation.
How easy it is to listen to my voice and stare into my eyes as you slowly let go of your mind. How good it feels to hand over all the complicated thinking to me… leaving you all blank and empty.
That feeling… that bliss… that pure bliss and carefreeness is all you want… it’s all you’ll ever need. And you know who can make you feel all those lovely feelings, don’t you?
[…]
Say it. Say it for me.
[…]
Good. Very good.
(evil chuckle)
All you want is me. All you need is me. I make you happy. And if you are happy then so are your people. Once we get wed, I’ll…
(Small pause, as if Speaker is weighing their next words)
we’ll make everyone feel like you do right now. And all you’ll have to do is stand by my side, smile and doddle your head for me. Doesn’t that sound perfect?
[…]
Good.
For now, my darling, I think it is time for you to rest. It’s been a long day for us both. Let me just bring you over to your bed.
(brief pause as Speaker carries Listener and places them on their bed)
Here we are… all nice and comfortable. And don’t worry, honeybun. When you wake up, I’ll be right here by your side. And while you get your well-deserved rest I’ll be seeing to get some of the wedding preparations done.
(The Speaker gives the Listener a soft kiss on their forehead)
Good night, my darling. My most precious treasure…
(evil chuckle and footsteps, slowly fading out as Speaker leaves)

The comic series is wholesome as hell, and I'm such a sucker for stories with assassins, especially young ones, being softened up by bundles of joy and energy. And from what I understand, people HATE Jon being older after his time travel adventure, effectively ending the amazing dynamic between the Boy of Steel and the Demon's Grandson.
So why the hell have we not gotten an animated series with these two?! There's so much gold to be had with a story like this that could be brought more to life with OSTs, voice acting, all the great animation treats! The movie was good, but it was........too short for a premise with this much gold!
What we need is a seasonal animated series like the DCAU shows and YJ.
Season 1 could go something like this: Jon discovers powers, Damian sneaks out again, their dads come to an agreement: PARTNERSHIP TIME, BITCHES! Figured it'd be mutually beneficial. Thus, great contrast of their personalities! A few episodes in, they're in the same school, and neither student nor faculty are prepared for Damian Wayne, and neither are the criminals they face when they finish their homework. The season would be about Damian accepting this partnership while Jon tries to get a handle on the whole superhero thing. Season finale? Damian calls Jon his friend for the first time.
Future seasons, with a definitive ending planned so it doesn't suffer from seasonal rot, could explore Damian's dark past and how it could haunt him, Jon seeing some harsh realities of being a hero, and that's after a mere 2 minutes of thinking!
DC has a gold mine here, and I think not going for it would be a huge mistake. What do y'all think?

After Genosha downfall ??
I was always thinking about being part of Team Xavier (out of the show and in the show) because you know, if I can help people, I will with my capabilities, change mentalities, try my best to help mutants with their rights and being able to live with humans etc, But…..
If I was on Genosha during the attack, the aggressiveness, seing friends or just people be killed like that, I would be so pissed that I think, I would join Magneto when he asked.
More after seeing so humans turn into live sentinels deliberately.
Maybe I don’t understand and I’m naive but Magneto made a point to me.

hey guys ive been doing endless and wanted to share some of my stats and strategies after hittig wave 5850 and not being able to progress from crashing due to maxed out tokens. Heres my team:
Zoroadinja: dark/ghost only weak to fairy became main carry around ~3000
Blidinja: backup carry normal/ghost only weak to dark
kyunacle: main carry from wave 1-~3000, old moveset was dragon pulse, icea beam/blizzard, psychic/luster purge, and fusion flare/eruption. Also used later for snow warning passive to reset harmful weather that kills through wonder guard.
Persiam: shiny fusion for luck(4pts)
Conkenacl: shiny fusion for luck (6pts)
6th pokemon was a random rapidash for run away that i only used ~3 times
My strategies: I started with a regular kyurem and some shinies for luck, kyurem was able to easily carry and oneshot only suffering against steel types early on until abt wave 150, after which i got light stone for kyurem white and used a memory mushroom to learn fusion flare. my whole strategy was juicing kyurem with soul dews proper nature and every good item i could get my hands on. eventually i realized i could fuse bad pokemon with good stats for their better moves and learned eruption for 150bp since leftovers+shell bell+beriies usually mean if you take any damage youre going to be full hp after anyways. i also fused a latios for luster purge and unfused after since the fuse had lower spatk. i generally found multi lense to be more useful when i could no longer oneshot and i could fish for flinches instead. I also had blidinja as a backup who i would sometimes leave out so he could steal type boosting items with black hole if i had no party slots or i would catch the mon and transfer items over. I hit 99 never melt ice, 99 charcoal, 99 dragon claws, and 99 twisted spoons around wave 2000. dragon claws were much easier to come by since i could usually steal arounf 20 or 30 from eternatus every time.
After i could no longer reliably kill with kyurem i swapped over to blidinja main carry while i was building my zoroark/shedinja fusion. I opted for night shade instead of ruination/natures madness since night shade would deal comparable damage (when overleveled) and would allow me to oneshot regular mons when i ran ino them. night shade only suffered against eternatus who had so mjuch hp that natures madness was better. having a dark/ghost and normal/ghost shedinja fusion would allow me to swap which carry to sue depending on the enemies moves. very few mons had both fairy and dark coverage and i would just masterball or oneshot those that did. eventually i replaced all of kyurems moves with and changed nature so he would be slow and look for kills with metal burst and survive with sturdy.
I opted to not really run away at all so that i could fish for voucher+(5pull) in rewards and if i ddnt get it in the first 3 rerolls(the only time it can show up) i opted for a rare candy or lure. The most voucher+ i had at one time was about 130. Even though it was much slower killing/catching every mon than running, i think the vouchers made it worth it so i can get legendaries that are very hard to come by(mewtwo,zygarde,etc) since these areas are much rarer to enter so theyre hard to find.
Some of the mons i caught:
Legendaries Caught :
suicune: 8 (2 regular, 1 blue shiny)
Uxie: 7 (3 shinies)
Glastrier: 7
Meloetta: 6
Cresselia and Giaratina: 5 each (1 shiny each)
keldeo, Marshasdow, tapu koko, latios, latias: 5 each
Darkrai, mespirit: 4 each
Other legendaries at 1 or 2: calyrex(1shiny), hoopa(1shiny), spectrier(1shiny), genesect (1shiny), every regi, azelf, heatran, palkia, kyogre, groudon, entei, lugia, moltres, zekrom, reshiram, every genie, every sword, volcanion, every tapu, every ultra beast minus nihilego and necrozma, zacian, zarude, galar moltres and articuno, terrapagos, ogerpon, and fezandipiti.
Notable shinies:
Red: conkeldurr, garganacl, golurk, lokix, eldegoss, gourgheist, scrafty, cincinno, drifblim, whiscash, ursaluna, meowth, breloom,
Blue: garganacl, wo-chien, frosmoth, lurantis, cofagrigus, liligant, golurk, chandelure, lopunny, blissey, shedinja, linoone, zangoose, flygon, mismagius, gliscor, seaking, pinsir, dewgong, victreebel, parasect, persian, blastoise.
and a whole bunch of other regular shinies way too many to count. Also i got my first shiny charm around wave 1000 which i thought was super unlucky. anyways what do you guys think, was this run pretty good, i think the red shinies i got out of it were probably the best part as the legendaries were somewhat mid imo. Garganacl was definitely the mvp since he or his signature move was one 4 of 6 members on my team, also i love his red shiny too. all the extra voucher+ i got from never runing got me 2 mewtwos, 2 zygardes, 1 groudon, 1 palkia, and a few other legendaries i didnt have so i think it was worth. so what do you guys think? Also ive seen some people get past having maxed tokens but i have no idea how.

This letter is to my past lovers. I have become a more grounded less toxic version of myself thanks to them. Granted it was due to the drama that went on in the relationships. I learned a lot from each. Well let’s jump into it. M! Our relationships were the definition of toxic! 😂 I said relationships because of how many times we broke up and got together. I look back in humor because we had no business trying to be in a relationship. We tried and failed repeatedly. We were too broken souls when we met trying to patch each other up. We both did things in that relationship that we are not proud of. Me especially I was basically spiraling the whole time. I was an asshole that believed himself to be a nice guy. Ugh I was so cringe. I have already given my apologies to you. We still speak now however I don’t think we will be giving it one last try. Even though we are amicable now. We have both done damage to each other. It’s forgiven but never forgotten. I appreciate your support and your wisdom. Especially when I’m in my emotional lows which is happening a lot more. You have come so far in your healing process I couldn’t be more proud. You are amazing.
Now for my most recent past lover…..E. I am not going to sugar coat it. You broke me in every sense of the word. Our break up trigger basically every last trauma I had. Everything came to the surface. I was shaking, crying, yodeling! IDFK. I was struggling. I know, I can have moments where I am hot and cold. I know I didn’t handle every argument correctly with you. I definitely didn’t take into consideration how emotionally charged you get. We didn’t go on dates which I am immensely sorry for. I was emotionally lockdown for the most part. I had a wall up but you got through it and you saw me. You saw my emotions unhinged and unfiltered, you saw my slip ups when I loosened up my defenses. I let you in. I opened a path for you to get to know me and not the persona I show everyone else. Then you left. You left me in such a cold and fast manner. I felt casted away, thrown overboard, abandoned! Which is probably why it triggered my child traumas and some.
Am I upset with you? Oh yeah I was I felt like every conversation and plan we had you balled up in your hands and stepped on them. That lasted for like a week. Then I found out about the other guy. I won’t put his name out there. It all made sense after that. You weren’t happy and you went to what you think is the better option. I can’t fault you for that. As hard as that situation was. It helped me realize my own faults. I am still broken. I started seeing a therapist. I am working on my unresolved traumas. I am improving myself so I can be vulnerable with my person not closed off like I’m so known for. All that aside I wish you nothing but the best. I want you to be happy. I want you to realize that everything happens for a reason. I was placed in your path so that you could help me realize I didn’t allow love in. Real unconditional love. You awakened that in me and I am forever grateful to you for it.
You do not want to stay in contact so I will not be reaching out. I still think about you constantly. It’s not a sad or I miss you so much thought. It’s a I hope you are happy and getting showered in love thought. Everyone deserves love thank you for showing me. This letter is to both of my past lovers that had a hand in showing me unconditional love and awakening that in me. If you ever need me don’t be afraid to call. I value you deeply.
-MB