Leaving note example

I’m not even hating on it. Good for the content creators and their independence. Look at KillTony for example, a show on YouTube that’s selling out Madison Square garden. Maybe scripted shows and movies still have ways to go, but unscripted reality is dead.
Seriously, who watches this stuff? This is coming from someone who makes it mind you. Anyway, I’m looking to leave the industry. Good luck to those who are still holding on.

I hit 600 hours yesterday and figured I should post about my experience thus far - hopefully it will be helpful for all of you, but also will be fun to look back on myself, later on.
Background: I took a couple semesters of Spanish in high school as well as university over a decade ago, but never gave more effort than just trying to get a decent grade. A year ago, I decided to try and learn Spanish for real. I went down the normal Duolingo track, then found Paul Noble audiobooks and Language Transfer. I became really interested at this point, and eventually came across Dreaming Spanish. At first, I would do like 15 min a day of Dreaming Spanish while “studying” with my other time, until sometime around July 2023 when I realized I was getting more out of DS, and went “all in”. I put 70 hours as my total input up to that point (although since then even though I’ve had other sources, I haven’t added any more “outside hours” along the way, so technically I have 530 hours of pure DS now).
Reasons for learning Spanish: - It’s simply something I’ve always wanted to do, but never really committed to it - My family and I love to travel, and want to be able to communicate much better - We spent 6 weeks in Spain late last year which was partially why I dove in, but even before the trip I realized I would for sure keep going after the trip (I now wish I had started DS way before that trip, of course!) - I have two young daughters, who will be going through the Spanish Immersion program (100% spanish through elementary and then it gradually balances between Spanish and English into middle and high school) in our district! My older gal starts kindergarten in the fall. - There is a hosting program within the immersion program where families can host a teacher assistant (someone completing Uni or just graduated) from a spanish speaking country. It would be a semester of hosting the TA at our house. We’ve talked to others who’ve hosted and they had a great experience. Some have since visited the TA in their home country. We aren’t signed up to do this for the coming year, but my wife and I would love to in the next couple years potentially.
Listening: 90% input from DS. Half the time I go from just the easiest Intermediate/Advanced video remaining (around level 58) and half the time I just pick a video that looks Interesting (BeginneIntermediate/Advanced). Sometimes I’ll speed up the easier videos. In general, I understand anything 60 and below very well, 60-70 is comprehensible and enjoyable but challenging, 70+ varies. I find Pablo, Sandra and Alma, and Agus much easier. I find Tomás and Edwin difficult, for example. But overall I’m still really enjoying DS. Currently half the time Im watching, and half the time I’m listening with headphones. A few times a week I’ll watch some super beginner / beginner videos with my daughter - she loves Calcetín videos and the Michelle cooking videos. Ive seen the “Find Wally” videos about 8 times…haha
I also have listened to a lot of Español Con Juan, which I enjoy too. I mix in YouTube videos sometimes as well. I’ve watched some native Ted Talks and found some of them too hard, but also found some that I’ve almost fully understood, which was encouraging. On the other end of the spectrum I put on the movie Society of the Snow in Spanish without subtitles and I was completely lost haha. No huge surprise. Overall, I’m happy with progress but have days where I’m frustrated too. Loving the journey though.
Reading: I haven’t done a ton of reading but doing more now. I ready a handful of Olly Richards books around 300 hours and enjoyed overall. I read Harry Potter book 1 at 400 hours. I really liked it, although it was a bit too difficult, but having read them in English many times it was often still comprehensible. I’m now reading a bunch of the “Diario de Greg” books and they are great haha. Love being mid 30’s guy at the coffee shop posting up with one of those books. Challenging but comprehensible and fun. I also read a bunch of picture books in Spanish to my girls. My older gal is picking up a decent amount of words.
Writing/Speaking: Haven’t done a ton of writing other than occasionally texting a buddy who knows Spanish. But found it to be not too bad.
We were in Spain as a family when I had around 300-350 hours I think. It was super helpful to have that under my belt but also I generally couldn’t follow conversations between native speakers. I had conversations with people at the park or elsewhere if people were patient or spoke slower, and it was super rewarding. I made a lot of mistakes (including mistaking a verb and asking a guy at the beach in front of his family if he wanted “to touch me” instead of me taking a photo for him haha. He silently walked away. But also talked to an old woman about my kids and she talked about being envious of my parents as she never had grandkids and was very sad about it. I tried to comfort her. Moments like that make the whole journey worth it.
Also I should note that between 100-300 hours I was doing Baselang speaking lesssons. It is expensive, but I really liked the platform and had some great recurring teachers. I may re-sign up after 1000 hours. I would’ve held off but I also wanted to be able to communicate a bit better in Spain. Maybe it will have end up harming my progress, I’m not sure.
TLDR: hit 600 hours. Have a long way to go but seeing progress and loving the journey. Averaging around 2 hours per day now. Will re-start speaking around 1000-1500 hours. AMA.
Thanks!

My husband (30m) and I (29F) have been married for 5 years. Have had a long and happy relationship, together since 2016. We had the marriage everyone envied. Best friends, and we both took great care of each other. I received flowers at work regularly and he would leave me kind notes.
We have a 3 year old. During the last year my husband began sleeping in the basement and spending his free time smoking pot and playing video games. I figured he was depressed and tried to be gently supportive, still telling him often how happy and lucky I felt to have our life. We both have great jobs, a huge supportive friend group, and good families.
In January he randomly began verbally assaulting me. Telling me he wants a relationship with other specific women (a few that we are friends with who are gay?) and that he just wants a dirty kinky girl and doesn’t want to be married to me.
We started couples counseling and I started to be more sexually exploratory with him as he requested. I noticed the demands became more violent (hitting, aggressive sex, including others in our bedroom, painful toys, etc).
Before this we have always had a fun and great sex life. He says that we just weren’t having sex enough and accused me of creating a “dead bedroom”. He says married couples should have sex at least 5 times a week, and that I as his wife should make him feel WANTED by touching and coming onto him frequently.
When he screams at me he hits himself, throws things, punches things, etc. I usually cry, and plead with him to stop. He then accuses me of manipulating him into feeling guilty-saying I am crying on purpose. He then will threaten suicide.
I am genuinely so devastated at how my perfect life has turned into regular verbal assaults.
Our therapist has suggested that this seems like a case of BPD (no formal diagnosis yet) and I am just looking for any information or advice.
My husband suffered severe childhood trauma and is working through that in therapy now as he never has addressed it before. It’s so confusing, when he married me he promised me the world because his parents marriage and divorce we’re so ugly , and he never wanted to be that way. But here we are living it out.
I hate the idea of divorcing and not seeing my child every day, but I also cannot be verbally assaulted every week. I also worry about custody arrangements. I of course would want majority/primary.

Part Two: The Solitude of This Fire
Chapter 6
Location: Hust Forge. Hust Henarald's conference room
POV: Kellaras
After making Kellaras wait some days, Hust Henarald finally grants him an audience and says "One day, I will be a child again". These words seem to be nonsense to Kellaras. While waiting for his audience he noticed the Hust Forge never stops working. Henarald goes on to say we all war with two parts of ourselves and both make weapons from anything at hand. Henarald asks Kellaras if Anomander simply wants a sword or to join the Hust Legion. He doesn't think Urusander's Legion would like that very much. Kellaras says he knows the request of a sword is unusual at this time. Henarald responds by saying others will see it as political. Perhaps even a secret allegiance. Kellaras is put off balance by Henarald's pragmatic responses and then shifting into ending each with "One day I will be a child again." Henarald asks for specs and Kellaras says Anomander wants the sword to be silent. Henarald responds by asking if he would prefer a gagged weapon and if Anomander will hide it's origin. Kellaras tells Henarald that Anomander wants his swords spine to be quenched in the purity of Darkness itself. Henarald muses on power and says those with the most power have the greatest fear and that means power is meaningless and delusional. Kellaras counters that the Forulkan would have enslaved the Tiste with their power had they won, but they lost to the power of the Tiste. Henarald responds, "A triumph in solitude makes a hollow sound, and to every glory proclaimed the heavens make no answer".
Kellaras reiterates that his master requests a sword. Henarald responds "To take the blood of Darkness". Kellaras is surprised by this as Mother Dark is not Azathanai. Henarald asks how she feeds her power and if now that Anomander knows the secret of House Hust if he will use it for political gain. Kellaras says his Lord is the ultimate secret keeper. Henarald agrees to forge Anomander's sword, but requires that he be present at the quenching of it by darkness to witness if it is blood Mother Dark uses. Kellaras tells him he won't be able to see anything and leaves the chamber trembling mostly upset by Henarald's repeated assertions that he will return to childhood.
Kellaras goes to the main hall where there is feast taking place. He pushes aside his doubts and is proud that he got Henarald's agreement to make the sword. He searches out Galar Baras and finds him leaning against a pillar staring at a woman that had just entered. Kellaras sees her see Galar Baras and watches her stiffen. The woman is Toras Redone. Kellaras notes that even grimed from hard travel she is beautiful and makes his way to Galar. Galar asks if Henarald spoke to Kellaras of childhood. Kellaras says yes, but does not understand. Kellaras invites Galar to join a table and Galar accepts though he tells him he can't drink. Galar tells the captain that the childhood thing troubles them all. Kellaras asks him to call him by his name and not rank. Galar says that Henarald claims that he is losing his recent memories, but no one can see any evidence of this. Galar tells Kellaras of a sickness called Loss of Iron that afflicts smiths. Kellaras tells Galar that in his meeting Henarald was sharp and focused. No evidence of a crumbling mind. Galar asks if he will tell Anomander of this. Galar says it has no bearing on the creation of the sword and says his master would likely just say returning to childhood isn't a bad idea.
POV: Galar Baras
Kellaras gets drunk and stumbles off and now Galar has to be alone with his thoughts and heartache at the presence of Toras Redone. She was still holding court at one of the tables and after a while she shuffles over to him. She comments on her husband transferring as far away as he could. She tells Galar that he is a pariah in the citadel. That people think him arrogant and dismissive. She knows that's not him, so is puzzled. She says he should have sex with the priestesses. That celibacy is not for soldiers. He should feed his appetites. Galar responds by asking if she is well fed. The barb slides off of her and she says well enough. She says she is certain that her husband stays true to her and that leads her to infidelity. Galar does not understand this. She changes the subject and says she has missed him. She tells him to go to bed, but he knows he won't be alone for long. He compares himself to Toras Redone's husband, Calat Hustain, knowing that both spend their nights alone, "because it was in their nature to choose it: to remain alone in the absence of love"
Location: Neret Sorr
POV: Kadaspala
With Osserc and Hunn Raal gone, Kadaspala is having a more enjoyable time having dinners with Urusander. The painting however was still irritating to him. He doubts anyone will see below the surface of his painting. He is finished and will leave in the morning. "There is but one god, and its name is beauty. There is but one kind of worship, and that is love. There is for us but one world, and we have scarred it beyond recognition". Kadaspala now truly sees Urusander and is terrified. Urusander asks him why he chose to accept this request. Kadaspala says he's denied hundreds, but if anyone can prevent a civil war, it's the man in the portrait. Although his thoughts imply that that may not be the same man standing before him.
Location: House Enes lands
POV: Cryl Durav
On his short self-imposed exile from the wedding preparations, Kryl finds the antlers of a long dead Eckalla. A symbol of triumph. Cryl thinks the triumph is hollow. Hunting for food was once a necessity, but that necessity bred traditions that resulted in the extinction of this animal. Thinking back on his youth he dreamt of discovering a new world free of Tiste where he could become prey and know the thrill of fear. Enesdia was also present in these fantasies. He thinks, "He had been trained for war just as he had been taught how to hunt and how to slay, and these were deemed necessary skills in preparation for adulthood. How sad was that?".
His horse notices some movement and he sees a troop of Tiste riders approaching. This makes no sense as there is no reason for them to come here on there way to somewhere else. Cryl rides to meet them and sees that they lead a score of Jheleck children. There were no chains. The captain of the company asks why Cryl is out this far and Cryl tells him who he is. The captain breaks in and says Cryl is probably fleeing the frenzy of the coming marriage. The captain introduces himself as Scara Bandaris and says there are two reasons for him being here, one trying to figure out what to do with the Jheleck hostages and two to attend the wedding. Cryl agrees to escort them all to house Enes. Scara perceptively guesses that Cryl is out here because he is in love with Enesdia. He says he will say no more on the subject.
There are 25 Jheleck children. Scara says they will raise wolves in these children. Cryl says he's heard they are more like hounds. Scara says hostage taking may come back to bite them. Scara laughs at his own joke and forces a smile onto Cryl's face. Cryl feels a little better.
Location: House Enes
POV: Enesdia
Enesdia is upset that Cryl has been gone for a few days. She searches out her father and overdramatically asks him why they are shirking their responsibility to their hostage. She says, "For all you know he could be lying at the bottom of a well, legs shattered and dying of thirst" Jaen responds "Dying of thirst in a well?" he tells her he sent him on a search for Eckalla. She says that's a hopeless quest. Jaen says Cryl's familiar with those. Enesdia asks what he means. Jaen responds that his time with House Enes is ending. It has only now struck Enesdia that her companion will not be at her side much longer. Enesdia laments the fact that Cryl's family has only one occupation. He will be a soldier like his only living brother, Spinnock. She muses that she could ask Andarist to offer Cryl a commission in the citadel, far away from fighting. Cryl would never know, but he would be safe.
Location: House Drukorlas
POV: Orfantal
Orfantal is standing near the estate road with Wreneck, a stable boy that used to be his friend. They are also standing near an old nag horse. They have been standing for some time. They are being circled by 3 feral dogs that have smelled the food that Orfantal carries. Orfantal wished he knew why Wreneck stopped being his friend, but it seemed impossible to ask now. Orfantal has all of his possessions in a trunk. They are not much. Orfantal thinks he could fit in there too, ready to be discarded. Wreneck is 10, Orfantal is 5. His grandmother is sending him off somewhere to learn how to grow up. He knows there will be a time when unhappiness comes into his life as it does with every boy. A wagon pulls up. It will be his ride to wherever he is going. Wreneck makes sure they know that he is going to the citadel and that he is nobleborn. Wreneck tells Orfantal that the old horse is blind in her left eye, so don't let anything ride on that side of her. Orfantal says goodbye to Wreneck and Wreneck waves dismissively and leaves.
POV: Wreneck
Wreneck turns from some distance to watch them leave with tears running down his face. He resolves himself to return to the "evil hag" and now he doesn't even have Orfantal to make his life easier. Nerys Drukorlat had forbidden him from playing or even speaking to Orfantal. She would fire him if he did. His mother and father and sisters relied on his income. He wished he could have played with Orfantal this entire morning and hugged him goodbye, but he was afraid of the evil hag.
Location: Toras Keep. On the road to the Citadel
POV: Orfantal
The party makes camp and the scarred old man who loaded Orfantal's trunk says that this is likely his horse's last journey. Orfantal is sad to not even know the horses name and wonders what things she has seen in her life. He decided that she had been a warhorse and saved her rider many times, but not from the betrayal that finally killed him. The leader of the troop introduces himself to Orfantal as Haral and tells him not to call him sir. He tells him he guards merchants and that's all. Orfantal asks about bandits. Haral says there are some Deniers. Haral tells Orfantal that he will be sharing Gripp's tent. The man who took care of his horse. He says that Gripp can be trusted and not some of the other men in the party.
Haral says after this he will be joining House Dracon's houseblades. Orfantal asks if he was a soldier once. Haral says few weren't in his generation. Orfantal introduces himself. Haral asks why she named him that. His name is a Yedan dialect. The holy language of the monks, Shake. Narad, one of the guards, says it means unwanted and laughs. Haral tells him to keep his mouth shut on this journey and tells Orfantal his name doesn't mean unwanted, it means unexpected. Narad laughs again and Haral savagely kicks him in the face then punches him. He then walks away from the unconscious guard. Orfantal is trembling and his heart is beating fast. Gripp comes over and calms him down. He says it's discipline and Narad was pushing for weeks. Orfantal now has a face to put to all the faceless betrayers in his war games. Narad. Gripp shows Orfantal how to raise a tent.
Location: Within sight of Dracon's Hold
POV: Ivis
Ivis and Sandalath are riding towards the hold. Ivis tells her that Draconus will be gone for several weeks still. Her body tells him that she probably had a child, but that's none of his business. She is now a hostage at House Dracon's and she will be treated well. Sandalath asks where Draconus comes from. Ivis says even his servants do not know, but he proved his worth in the war. Ivis is upset at the discipline now presented by his houseblades and resolves to fix it. Sandalath is being led to a warm bath and thanks Ivis. He responds, "My pleasure, milady". Hilith the head of the house maids does not like him calling her a lady as she is only hostage now. She lets him know it. Ivis says, "Old woman, you are no queen to so command me. I will choose the honorific our guest deserves. She rode well and without complaint. If you have complaint, await the pleasure of our lord upon his return. In the meantime, spit out that sour grape you so love to suck on, and be dutiful." Hilith says this isn't over. Ivis responds with a command to leave his courtyard and if he hears of her being miserable to the hostage that it will in fact not be over.
Location: Dracon's Hold
POV: Sandalath
Hilith tells Sandalath to come with her to the bath. Sandalath asks if the water is hot. and asks her if there is wood ready just in case. Sandalath challenges Hilith and says she is to treat her as if she was the lady of the house. Hilith bristles but agrees. Sandalath remembers her first stint as a hostage and the horrible hag that made her life miserable until Andarist found out and got rid of her. If Hilith turns out to be the same, she will tell Draconus. A younger maid escorts her to the correct bath, not the one Hilith had prepared for her. Sandalath says if Hilith is her enemy, then Sandalath should have many allies. The maid smiles and says thousands. Sandalath asks the maid about Ivis and if she finds him handsome. She says he is old, but Sandalath doesn't think so. Sandalath tells the maid she feels welcomed by this house and feels born anew.

This discussion/question is a bit difficult to explain but I think most people should intuitively know what I’m referring to. There are various risks and problems around the world that having sufficient money can wipe out that risk/problem. What is the minimum amount of money needed per person so that you are able to protect and hedge yourself from pretty much any global risk that evolves, including but not limited to war, climate change, corrupt extortion, fraud, inflation, lack of visa permissions, public service cuts, etc.?
Another way of looking at it: how much money per person is needed to become ‘sovereign’ and like an independent state where you have enough money invested/entrusted so that your family has enough flowing that all problems that money can take care of get taken care of in perpetuity.
Waconflict: if you were a wealthy Russian, your experience escaping war would have been vastly different from everyone else’s. Even if you cannot get a work/refugee visa for somewhere else, if you have enough money there are places like Dubai that will take you and since you’re wealthy a lack of work visa is not really a problem. An objective number would be AED 2 million per family since that’s the amount needed for a golden visa in the UAE.
Climate change: longer term risk, but if you need to leave your country because it’s going to crap (think wildfires or floods or hurricanes all the time), having enough wealth would make immigration to another place a bit of a different proposition from having to qualify for a work visa somewhere else and go through naturalization.
Fraud: if you get defrauded or have money extorted from you, if you’re wealthy enough you’d have money spread around the world and even if you lose a bunch of money in one country, your assets elsewhere may remain untouched. How much is needed to make the hassle of cross country banking and investing worthwhile?
Inflation: having $1M pre pandemic sounded enough for a lean FIRE setup but post pandemic people have come to their senses. How much would money have been enough that even after a bout of stubborn inflation your QOL doesn’t need to have gone down, your finances would have gone over a speed bump at most? Certainly $1M wasn’t enough.
Public service cuts: if you’re well off for example in Canada, it generally doesn’t matter, you still get the same healthcare. If you’re wealthy beyond a certain point you can just fly to the US and get private healthcare. How much is needed to ‘self-insure’ yourself economically so that the world’s best healthcare can always be afforded by you for your family and yourself?

So, I had a really emotionally abusive roommate who I had to leave in the very end of April. For reasons I won't get into here, I had to go into emergency housing because of her and completely uproot my entire side of the room at the end of the semester.
She would take her anger out on me frequently, even if I wasn't the cause of her anger. If something made her mad, she would yell at me and make the atmosphere of the room really uncomfortable. She would also say really nasty things to me if I did something she didn't like, too. For example, I unfollowed an old mutual friend of ours because they weren't treating me well and told her for transparency. She got quiet and then said "I get it, but you're really fucking stupid" and then later told me that I caused her to shut down because I "tore apart the only friends she has and she really needs support." Then after acting out like that, she would lovebomb me and tell me how she's so grateful for me, she's such a terrible friend and yet I've stuck beside her, she loves me, I'm the best friend she's ever had, stuff like that. She would also randomly buy things for me, even when I asked her not to. She wouldn't allow me to do things on my own or with other people, like dinner or other plans. The only thing she wouldn't get mad at me for going to were my classes. Her possessiveness was really bad, especially when I was with my boyfriend. She would yell at him and say "Back off! appastoebeans is MINE!! She's MY girlfriend!" I also had to file a Title IX against her, too. So, you can see why I had to leave.
Before I left, I had blocked her on absolutely everything so that she couldn't message me because she could be pretty caustic and guilt trippy over text. I was afraid of the things she would say to me and I was afraid that I'd fall for whatever she would say, so I blocked. I spent the night before I moved out somewhere else and then went to my old room to quickly move out while she was in class. Since I had her blocked, she wrote me a letter. At first, it didn't bother me but now, her words are kind of seeping in. I threw out the letter the day I moved out but I still remember a lot of what was written. She said stuff like "I don't know why you blocked me on everything because I have done nothing wrong. I'm really hurt and confused right now. Did you ever care about me at all? Was I that easy to throw away? Did almost 2 years of friendship mean anything to you at all? I don't think I can accept any kind of apology from you. Let's just be civil to each other since finals are near." I can't help but feel terribly guilty now. Especially because she thought I was coming back and apologizing. She also had a major meltdown upon seeing I moved out, publicly posted about her anger towards me online, and then tried to ask people to tell her where I was staying.
Her words just keep repeating themselves in my head and I keep feeling like a terrible person. I also keep having thoughts like, "I threw her away. I threw 2 years of friendship away. She was so confused. I hurt her. I made her panic. I ruined the friendship, not her. It all falls on me." It's just hard. It's really, really hard. If you read all of this, thank you.

hello! i recently realized my local dunkin recognizes me and ive officially become a regular (wooo!!).
its corny but with mental health stuff ive been a little agoraphobic lately and that little bit of kind social interaction makes my day.
im unfortunately moving soon and wanted to do something nice like a basket of treats for them:) is it too much to leave a note thanking them for kindness in a rough time? what would you as an employee want in a thank you basket?

I just came to this town from the country of the rising sun, Japan. My goal is to start a new life here due to my abusive parents and their tendency to look for me. I saved a lot of money, and managed to buy a plane ticket to fly to this country, and also afford a deposit for a rental house in this beautiful place. However, due to my foolishness and naiveity, I got scammed by a self proclaimed agent regarding this new house. At my first day here, I tried to find a house with the provided address but to no avail. Sure, the neighborhood is right but I can't find the street nor house. Then it all dawned upon me. I realized I got scammed. I literally don't have any money left. I am hungry, got nothing to eat, and was just tired. Plus, the sun has retired a few hours ago, leaving the streets devoid of human activity. So I slept on one of the public benches. When I woke up next morning, I was about to cry when I saw three slices of pizza inside a box with a little note saying "You can eat these. Better than throwing them out." So I ate those like I have the most empty stomach in the world. Thankfully, I don't normally require many calories due to my sedentary lifestyle, and I have been born with low metabolism anyway (or probably forced to starve because of my parents) so one meal a day will suffice. Feeling energized, I went to the business premises, one by one to look for a job, but they all required certifications and whatnot. I don't have any right now, I literally just finished highschool. The dark night falls again, encouraging me to suck it up and just sleep. And of course, on one of the public benches. Off to dreamland I go, though dreaming of particularly nothing. Next morning, I woke up, and unexpectedly, I saw a sushi set presented in a plastic container, one of my favorite foods! On it is yet another note, saying " I saw you at the shops today (yesterday). Looks like you're job hunting.Good luck. In the meantime, eat these. My treat." After eating, I pray to God that whoever gave me these foods have a wonderful life. And off I go job hunting again, still being unlucky on that day. As usual, I went to sleep, and woke up with a meal adequate for a hungry person near me. Today is my fifth day here.and the meals haven't stop. In fact, they are getting better each time.
So please, affliliated citizen(s). Shall we meet, I will graciously thank you for your care and do my utmost efforts to repay you back.
And all viewers, help me find these people.

I have been inactive/very minimally attending in my ward in Utah county for almost a year now and I have noticed recently that when I leave my house or go on a walk, random people whom I have never met before say hi to me and call me by my first name.
As much as I'd like to think it's because I am famous, the only explanation is that I have finally been escalated to being brought up in ward council and am now a project.
On a serious note, I understand that the ward genuinely thinks they are doing a good thing and are helping me with my salvation, but it just never comes across as sincere. If they really cared, then they would actually listen to me and give credence to my reasons for leaving.

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But before I dive into that, let me share a little secret with you. Just a year ago, my life was pretty tough. Every day seemed clouded with negative thoughts, and my relationships, both with myself and others, were strained. Feeling alone and worthless was my norm, and I settled for less because I couldn't believe I deserved any better. It felt like a hopeless cycle.
I was constantly worried that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never measure up. This fear kept me tossing and turning at night. I tried improving myself, but it felt like I was stuck in an uphill battle with no end in sight. I started questioning if all the effort was even worth it. At times, it seemed like my fate was sealed by what I was born with—like success was reserved for the naturally gifted.
But then, something incredible happened about a year ago. Thanks to the grace of Allah (God), my life took a turn. Now, I chase my dreams with an unparalleled drive, exuding confidence and energy like never before! Today, I'm happier and more accomplished than I ever thought possible.
So, what changed in that year? It was surprisingly simple... I stumbled across my mentor.
But why a mentor, you might ask? Having a mentor was a game-changer for me. It wasn't just about getting directions; my mentor provided priceless feedback, drawing from his own life experiences. He has been through it all and knows what worked. When things got tough, he was there to give me that extra push and remind me of my potential...
So, if you're feeling stuck, consider seeking guidance from a mentor. Someone who's been in your shoes and can help you navigate the path ahead.
That's why I'm passionate about mentoring others for free! As a self-improvement coach, I'm dedicated to helping young men transform their lives and become the best versions of themselves. I draw from various sources like books, podcasts, studies, philosophy, and personal research.

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7. **Achieve more with less effort**: Boost your productivity and efficiency, like a swift arrow hitting its target with precision, allowing you to invest time and energy in what truly brings you joy.
   
8. **Establish routines**: Experience the sense of stability and control that comes from establishing healthy habits and routines that support your well-being and success.
   
9. **Financial ideas and business ideas**: Experience the joy of being in control of your finances and running successful businesses, as you learn to manage your money wisely and explore profitable opportunities.
   
10. **Master communication and social skills**: Take pride in being known as "that guy" among your friends, as they rave about your outgoing personality and the meaningful bonds you create, earning you the reputation of a true friend and a genuine charmer.
    
11. **Finding Your Purpose**: Uncover the deep meaning in life and your core values, where everything falls into place and makes sense for you.
    

I keep it simple. No complex strategies, just straightforward guidance to elevate your life.
In just a month, I've already had 4 people book sessions with me. Testimonials are available on my profile page. It's a month-long commitment, with the option to cancel if you don't see results after 2 weeks. Sessions are 45 minutes, twice a week, or an hour once a week if you prefer. And if you're not satisfied after the initial call, you can cancel with no further obligation. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain—so why not give it a shot?
It's time to take the next step. Just send me a DM, and I'll provide all the details you need.
Imagine sitting at the family dinner table, radiating confidence and success. Your family members might glance at you with envy, noticing how manly and prosperous you've become. Let's schedule a call to begin turning those dreams into reality.
It's easy. Don't let your fear win. Conquer your fear, and take the first step by sending me a DM now!
**Note**: While coaching can be immensely helpful, it's essential to prioritize your health. If you're dealing with severe depression, chronic pain, or any other challenges, don't hesitate to seek medical support.
Note (We will only be able to coach another 3 maximum because we already have 2)

Hey everyone! 👋 I'm RBS, a self-improvement coach, and I've got something special to offer you, absolutely free—no strings attached.
But before I dive into that, let me share a little secret with you. Just a year ago, my life was pretty tough. Every day seemed clouded with negative thoughts, and my relationships, both with myself and others, were strained. Feeling alone and worthless was my norm, and I settled for less because I couldn't believe I deserved any better. It felt like a hopeless cycle.
I was constantly worried that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never measure up. This fear kept me tossing and turning at night. I tried improving myself, but it felt like I was stuck in an uphill battle with no end in sight. I started questioning if all the effort was even worth it. At times, it seemed like my fate was sealed by what I was born with—like success was reserved for the naturally gifted.
But then, something incredible happened about a year ago. Thanks to the grace of Allah (God), my life took a turn. Now, I chase my dreams with an unparalleled drive, exuding confidence and energy like never before! Today, I'm happier and more accomplished than I ever thought possible.
So, what changed in that year? It was surprisingly simple... I stumbled across my mentor.
But why a mentor, you might ask? Having a mentor was a game-changer for me. It wasn't just about getting directions; my mentor provided priceless feedback, drawing from his own life experiences. He has been through it all and knows what worked. When things got tough, he was there to give me that extra push and remind me of my potential...
So, if you're feeling stuck, consider seeking guidance from a mentor. Someone who's been in your shoes and can help you navigate the path ahead.
That's why I'm passionate about mentoring others for free! As a self-improvement coach, I'm dedicated to helping young men transform their lives and become the best versions of themselves. I draw from various sources like books, podcasts, studies, philosophy, and personal research.

What you will unlock 🔓:

1. **Boost your masculinity**: Walk into any room with your head held high, feeling a surge of confidence and strength that makes navigating the world effortless.
   
2. **Achieve your dreams**: Imagine crossing the finish line of your biggest goal, feeling the thrill of turning your aspirations into reality, and living the life you want.
   
3. **Embrace better habits**: Feel happier and healthier as you leave behind what holds you back and step into a brighter, more fulfilling future.
   
4. **Improve your looks**: Imagine people nodding in approval as you walk by, feeling confident and catching everyone's eye with your undeniable charm.
   
5. **Manage stress, overthinking, and other mental problems**: Feel peaceful and strong inside, helping you handle life's ups and downs with ease and calmness.
   
6. **Conquer obstacles**: Develop the strength and determination to overcome challenges and achieve your goals, like a resilient mountain climber scaling peaks in the face of adversity.
   
7. **Achieve more with less effort**: Boost your productivity and efficiency, like a swift arrow hitting its target with precision, allowing you to invest time and energy in what truly brings you joy.
   
8. **Establish routines**: Experience the sense of stability and control that comes from establishing healthy habits and routines that support your well-being and success.
   
9. **Financial ideas and business ideas**: Experience the joy of being in control of your finances and running successful businesses, as you learn to manage your money wisely and explore profitable opportunities.
   
10. **Master communication and social skills**: Take pride in being known as "that guy" among your friends, as they rave about your outgoing personality and the meaningful bonds you create, earning you the reputation of a true friend and a genuine charmer.
    
11. **Finding Your Purpose**: Uncover the deep meaning in life and your core values, where everything falls into place and makes sense for you.
    

I keep it simple. No complex strategies, just straightforward guidance to elevate your life.
In just a month, I've already had 4 people book sessions with me. Testimonials are available on my profile page. It's a month-long commitment, with the option to cancel if you don't see results after 2 weeks. Sessions are 45 minutes, twice a week, or an hour once a week if you prefer. And if you're not satisfied after the initial call, you can cancel with no further obligation. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain—so why not give it a shot?
It's time to take the next step. Just send me a DM, and I'll provide all the details you need.
Imagine sitting at the family dinner table, radiating confidence and success. Your family members might glance at you with envy, noticing how manly and prosperous you've become. Let's schedule a call to begin turning those dreams into reality.
It's easy. Don't let your fear win. Conquer your fear, and take the first step by sending me a DM now!
**Note**: While coaching can be immensely helpful, it's essential to prioritize your health. If you're dealing with severe depression, chronic pain, or any other challenges, don't hesitate to seek medical support.
Note (We will only be able to coach another 3 maximum because we already have 2)

Hey everyone! 👋 I'm RBS, a self-improvement coach, and I've got something special to offer you, absolutely free—no strings attached.
But before I dive into that, let me share a little secret with you. Just a year ago, my life was pretty tough. Every day seemed clouded with negative thoughts, and my relationships, both with myself and others, were strained. Feeling alone and worthless was my norm, and I settled for less because I couldn't believe I deserved any better. It felt like a hopeless cycle.
I was constantly worried that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never measure up. This fear kept me tossing and turning at night. I tried improving myself, but it felt like I was stuck in an uphill battle with no end in sight. I started questioning if all the effort was even worth it. At times, it seemed like my fate was sealed by what I was born with—like success was reserved for the naturally gifted.
But then, something incredible happened about a year ago. Thanks to the grace of Allah (God), my life took a turn. Now, I chase my dreams with an unparalleled drive, exuding confidence and energy like never before! Today, I'm happier and more accomplished than I ever thought possible.
So, what changed in that year? It was surprisingly simple... I stumbled across my mentor.
But why a mentor, you might ask? Having a mentor was a game-changer for me. It wasn't just about getting directions; my mentor provided priceless feedback, drawing from his own life experiences. He has been through it all and knows what worked. When things got tough, he was there to give me that extra push and remind me of my potential...
So, if you're feeling stuck, consider seeking guidance from a mentor. Someone who's been in your shoes and can help you navigate the path ahead.
That's why I'm passionate about mentoring others for free! As a self-improvement coach, I'm dedicated to helping young men transform their lives and become the best versions of themselves. I draw from various sources like books, podcasts, studies, philosophy, and personal research.

What you will unlock 🔓:

1. **Boost your masculinity**: Walk into any room with your head held high, feeling a surge of confidence and strength that makes navigating the world effortless.
   
2. **Achieve your dreams**: Imagine crossing the finish line of your biggest goal, feeling the thrill of turning your aspirations into reality, and living the life you want.
   
3. **Embrace better habits**: Feel happier and healthier as you leave behind what holds you back and step into a brighter, more fulfilling future.
   
4. **Improve your looks**: Imagine people nodding in approval as you walk by, feeling confident and catching everyone's eye with your undeniable charm.
   
5. **Manage stress, overthinking, and other mental problems**: Feel peaceful and strong inside, helping you handle life's ups and downs with ease and calmness.
   
6. **Conquer obstacles**: Develop the strength and determination to overcome challenges and achieve your goals, like a resilient mountain climber scaling peaks in the face of adversity.
   
7. **Achieve more with less effort**: Boost your productivity and efficiency, like a swift arrow hitting its target with precision, allowing you to invest time and energy in what truly brings you joy.
   
8. **Establish routines**: Experience the sense of stability and control that comes from establishing healthy habits and routines that support your well-being and success.
   
9. **Financial ideas and business ideas**: Experience the joy of being in control of your finances and running successful businesses, as you learn to manage your money wisely and explore profitable opportunities.
   
10. **Master communication and social skills**: Take pride in being known as "that guy" among your friends, as they rave about your outgoing personality and the meaningful bonds you create, earning you the reputation of a true friend and a genuine charmer.
    
11. **Finding Your Purpose**: Uncover the deep meaning in life and your core values, where everything falls into place and makes sense for you.
    

I keep it simple. No complex strategies, just straightforward guidance to elevate your life.
In just a month, I've already had 4 people book sessions with me. Testimonials are available on my profile page. It's a month-long commitment, with the option to cancel if you don't see results after 2 weeks. Sessions are 45 minutes, twice a week, or an hour once a week if you prefer. And if you're not satisfied after the initial call, you can cancel with no further obligation. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain—so why not give it a shot?
It's time to take the next step. Just send me a DM, and I'll provide all the details you need.
Imagine sitting at the family dinner table, radiating confidence and success. Your family members might glance at you with envy, noticing how manly and prosperous you've become. Let's schedule a call to begin turning those dreams into reality.
It's easy. Don't let your fear win. Conquer your fear, and take the first step by sending me a DM now!
**Note**: While coaching can be immensely helpful, it's essential to prioritize your health. If you're dealing with severe depression, chronic pain, or any other challenges, don't hesitate to seek medical support.
Note (We will only be able to coach another 3 maximum because we already have 2)

AITA or WIBTA - Sorry for my English it's not my language and also for the long post. I (28F) have a friend (23F) we have been friends for at least 4 years now. She has helped me at my lowerest and I have helped her though hers. We have spend nights crying and thinking no one would love us and we will be all we have. Which we agreed is the greatest. She than ended up getting back with her ex , who of course I never thought actually deserves her. But I supported her all the way with smiles, it's her choice I just need to be there for her. She ended up becoming pregnant and I was moving to another state. She wasn't happy about it as she said she would miss me alot but she was okay about it. It went on as normal and we were still best friends, her tummy grow and the baby boy was growing nicely. In that time I ended up meeting a great guy with a son and we got serious very quickly for the better. Again she wasn't really happy because it meant less time for her but she was happy I was happy. I took on the mommy role very quickly and the little boy didn't have a mom because she left my bf when the baby was 1 month old. I moved in with my bf and he proposed after a year of dating. After being engaged for about 3 months we found out we were pregnant too. Which we are so happy about. In this whole time we were still talking and being good friends and she also got engaged. Than all of a sudden she moved to the state I'm and lives a few miles away. That's when stuff started getting weird. I kept asking her when she has moving so I could help and come around to see her. She kept leaving me on read and not responding. I would then leave it because I don't want to overwhelm her. Than after 2 weeks she sends me a message and tells me off for not messaging her and she feels like I'm forgetting her. I then told her that's not the case, I have been busy and waiting for her to answer. To which she says but I just seem distancing to her. I promised I would try harder to contact her and try to see her. Then we spoke for a day properly again and I made she to answer her right away so she doesn't feel like I'm distancing her. again she left me on read and I kept sending messages to her , around 7 including voice notes. Which she never answered or listened to. And than randomly she message me saying she I never let her know how the baby is growing and she feels like my fiancé is taking me away from her. But my fiancé is excited to meet her and her fiance and baby. I then told her that and asked her how they are.I sent her a long message about the pregnant going. Then again she never answered again. So now my brother and fiancé are saying she is taking advantage of my nice and making me feel bad all the time when it's her that's not putting in effort.
So my question is WIBTA or AITA for not answering her or contacting her again after she has ghosted me yet again?
Sorry Just emotional from pregnancy and really need to vent because I really feel used and also wrong.

Hey everyone! 👋 I'm RBS, a self-improvement coach, and I've got something special to offer you, absolutely free—no strings attached.
But before I dive into that, let me share a little secret with you. Just a year ago, my life was pretty tough. Every day seemed clouded with negative thoughts, and my relationships, both with myself and others, were strained. Feeling alone and worthless was my norm, and I settled for less because I couldn't believe I deserved any better. It felt like a hopeless cycle.
I was constantly worried that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never measure up. This fear kept me tossing and turning at night. I tried improving myself, but it felt like I was stuck in an uphill battle with no end in sight. I started questioning if all the effort was even worth it. At times, it seemed like my fate was sealed by what I was born with—like success was reserved for the naturally gifted.
But then, something incredible happened about a year ago. Thanks to the grace of Allah (God), my life took a turn. Now, I chase my dreams with an unparalleled drive, exuding confidence and energy like never before! Today, I'm happier and more accomplished than I ever thought possible.
So, what changed in that year? It was surprisingly simple... I stumbled across my mentor.
But why a mentor, you might ask? Having a mentor was a game-changer for me. It wasn't just about getting directions; my mentor provided priceless feedback, drawing from his own life experiences. He has been through it all and knows what worked. When things got tough, he was there to give me that extra push and remind me of my potential...
So, if you're feeling stuck, consider seeking guidance from a mentor. Someone who's been in your shoes and can help you navigate the path ahead.
That's why I'm passionate about mentoring others for free! As a self-improvement coach, I'm dedicated to helping young men transform their lives and become the best versions of themselves. I draw from various sources like books, podcasts, studies, philosophy, and personal research.

What you will unlock 🔓:

1. **Boost your masculinity**: Walk into any room with your head held high, feeling a surge of confidence and strength that makes navigating the world effortless.
   
2. **Achieve your dreams**: Imagine crossing the finish line of your biggest goal, feeling the thrill of turning your aspirations into reality, and living the life you want.
   
3. **Embrace better habits**: Feel happier and healthier as you leave behind what holds you back and step into a brighter, more fulfilling future.
   
4. **Improve your looks**: Imagine people nodding in approval as you walk by, feeling confident and catching everyone's eye with your undeniable charm.
   
5. **Manage stress, overthinking, and other mental problems**: Feel peaceful and strong inside, helping you handle life's ups and downs with ease and calmness.
   
6. **Conquer obstacles**: Develop the strength and determination to overcome challenges and achieve your goals, like a resilient mountain climber scaling peaks in the face of adversity.
   
7. **Achieve more with less effort**: Boost your productivity and efficiency, like a swift arrow hitting its target with precision, allowing you to invest time and energy in what truly brings you joy.
   
8. **Establish routines**: Experience the sense of stability and control that comes from establishing healthy habits and routines that support your well-being and success.
   
9. **Financial ideas and business ideas**: Experience the joy of being in control of your finances and running successful businesses, as you learn to manage your money wisely and explore profitable opportunities.
   
10. **Master communication and social skills**: Take pride in being known as "that guy" among your friends, as they rave about your outgoing personality and the meaningful bonds you create, earning you the reputation of a true friend and a genuine charmer.
    
11. **Finding Your Purpose**: Uncover the deep meaning in life and your core values, where everything falls into place and makes sense for you.
    

I keep it simple. No complex strategies, just straightforward guidance to elevate your life.
In just a month, I've already had 4 people book sessions with me. Testimonials are available on my profile page. It's a month-long commitment, with the option to cancel if you don't see results after 2 weeks. Sessions are 45 minutes, twice a week, or an hour once a week if you prefer. And if you're not satisfied after the initial call, you can cancel with no further obligation. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain—so why not give it a shot?
It's time to take the next step. Just send me a DM, and I'll provide all the details you need.
Imagine sitting at the family dinner table, radiating confidence and success. Your family members might glance at you with envy, noticing how manly and prosperous you've become. Let's schedule a call to begin turning those dreams into reality.
It's easy. Don't let your fear win. Conquer your fear, and take the first step by sending me a DM now!
**Note**: While coaching can be immensely helpful, it's essential to prioritize your health. If you're dealing with severe depression, chronic pain, or any other challenges, don't hesitate to seek medical support.
Note (We will only be able to coach another 3 maximum because we already have 2)

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.

Hey guys, so there was a song my father used to play on his speaker while he was getting a shower not too long ago, in the past couple of years that was pretty slow with just a piano and what I believe a man singing. The main thing about it was that he hit a lot of these really high, long falsetto notes throughout the song which were like ‘heeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ or something like that. He just repeated ‘heeeeeeeeeeeeee’ throughout a part of the song, no actual words. The notes were getting slightly higher each time he sung it I believe. I’m not sure if there were any other sung lyrics though there probably would have been. I have a feeling that it may have been a long song (7 minutes for example) or maybe not. I also have a feeling it may be a French or Hebrew song as my father listens to a lot of songs in those languages. Can’t do a Vocaroo because I can’t hit the high notes.

This is going to be long, apologies in advance… And thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
A few days ago, I approached my HM with my frustrations over not having a set schedule (my on-duty hours often fluctuate depending on the family’s needs on the day of). I am extremely disappointed in her response, and am seriously considering leaving early as a result.
Honestly, I also just really need to rant about this to anyone who might have some experiencing either hosting au pairs or participating in an au pair exchange who can provide some insight. For context, the au pair regulations of the country I am staying in do not allow au pairs to work more than 30 hours per week (6 hours maximum per day) and mandate 1.5 days off per week. While I don’t think any of these rules are technically being broken, I am really frustrated, disappointed, and upset at my current situation. Also important to note is that my contract does not specify exact hours of work (my own fault/oversight, apparently).
Without revealing any personal details about the HF for privacy’s sake, I want to share a little bit about what my agreed-upon versus actual duties were/are.
The household duties that were discussed during the video interview(s) were: * Assisting with breakfast in the mornings and helping the children get ready for school/daycare. * Accompanying the youngest to daycare. * Washing, hanging, and folding the children’s laundry. * Maintaining order in the youngest’s playroom (which is also the main living area). * Cooking lunch for the family twice a week. * Preparing a simple dinner for the children on a daily basis. * A weekly house-clean, together. * Groceries, as needed. * Tidying the youngest’s room with her at the end of each day. * Loading and unloading the dishwasher.
Additional household duties I have been tasked with since arriving: * Vacuuming mouse shit from behind bookshelves and inside the children’s play drawers (once). * Releasing caught mice into the nearby green space from the household live traps (three times). * Cleaning the cat shit from the outdoor sandbox (once). * Taking the recycling to the local depot (regularly). * Washing, hanging, and folding the entire family’s laundry (regularly). * Dropping off and picking up the family’s dry cleaning (seldom). * The kitchen has been assigned to me as “my area of responsibility”. This means that the family often leaves their dishes on the counter as well as pots and pans on the stove from when they cook, regardless of if I have eaten with them or not. I am also sometimes tasked with random kitchen-related duties. For example, taking out the pots and pans to vacuum the drawers, or cleaning the windows. * On a few occasions, the family has had guests on my designated lunch days. I have also cooked for these guests (1-2 extra adults).
My weekday hours are generally 6:30am to 8:30am and 4:00pm to 7:00pm. As I mentioned, these hours often fluctuate. For example, sometimes one of the parents takes the youngest to daycare, which means I’m only on-duty until 8:00am. Twice a week, the youngest also has programming, which I have come to understand does not constitute my “working hours” in their eyes. This mean that while I pick her up from daycare and walk her to her program, the hour that she is actually in the program is considered my “off” time.
Approximately twice a week, I also return home mid-day to cook lunch for the family. I budget about 1 hour for this, not including grocery shopping, which I often do on the way to/from the daycare. I also mop and vacuum the entire home, with the exception of the parents’ study rooms, once a week. By necessity, I do this when the children are out of the house (so also during the day).
This means that my weekdays include between 4 and 6 hours of “work” hours across a 12 hour window. I have been given the flexibility to complete the above tasks whenever I want, so I typically spread these out throughout the week in order to maintain some balance between my workdays. The days I am responsible for cooking on are decided on at the start of the week, and sometimes change mid-week if the parents schedules change (typically communicated on the day-of). Based off this, I’d say I typically work about 25 hours between Monday to Friday.
Now, weekends:
I have one day off per week. Up until now, this has been respected and I appreciate that. The family has noted that either Saturday or Sunday works well for them, as long as we consult with each other on plans before I choose the day to take. I feel that this is a really nice approach,
BUT…
Alongside my sporadic weekly schedule, I am really struggling with what is supposed to be my other half day “off”. For example, let’s say Saturday is my full day off and Sunday is my half day off. I am given little to no structure/expectation for when I will be watching the children beyond things like “a little in the morning” and “a little in the afternoon/evening”. I feel that I’ve really had to push for even a general realm of what hours I need to be on-duty for. Oftentimes, I am told that my start time is 8:00am and am asked to take the youngest to a park for the morning. If the youngest isn’t dressed/emotionally prepared to leave the house until 9:00am or 9:15am, that is when we leave the house and that is when my (for example) two hour childcare block begins. If we arrive home at 11:00am, and her mother hasn’t completed her morning tasks that require a child-free house, this means that I remain on-duty until these tasks are complete (ie. household cleaning, grocery shopping, work tasks, etc.). Once my morning shift is complete (whenever that ends up being) I typically make myself unavailable by leaving the house to study/read at a coffee shop. I always make sure to ask what time they would like me back, and I arrive when I am requested (because my half day on weekends is also almost always a split shift).
Sometimes this day might look something like this: -8:00am “start” that doesn’t seem to really begun until an hour later (so 9:00am to 11:00am) -2:00pm-3:00pm -5:00pm to 7:00pm
If the kids last minute have a play date, my 2:00pm-3:00pm might get cancelled, but this also means that it might extend the 5:00pm-7:00pm block.
This past Sunday I arrived home at 5:00pm, only to find out that at 5:15pm that the youngest was spontaneously joining a friend on an outing.
The morning shift is also often blocked off so that the mother can assist the eldest with homework, but if he sleeps in and they don’t start until later, this also affects my start and end time.
Obviously, this sucks.
I brought this up in a way that I feel was respectful and fair, and was more or less told that “this is how we’ve always done this, so I don’t see us changing. Our weekends aren’t scheduled ahead of time, and this is part of the flexibility of having an au pair. If we wanted someone to watch the kids for a block of time, we would hire a babysitter.”
I was honestly shocked at this response, because I personally do NOT see this as how an au pair should function. I reiterated that it is unreasonable and shitty to have someone on-call for a twelve-hour stretch for what should theoretically be a maximum of 6 hours of work. Her response was that they are only asking for one day of flexibility per week, and so I should plan to be home with the expectation that I won’t be working the entire day.
I also asked if there was any way to receive (at very least) a more specific timeline than “morning” or “afternoon”. Her response was that they can try to plan something ahead of time, but will have to reconfirm the morning of. She said that if I make plans and then my work hours change, it would be really shitty/look really shitty for me to cancel. This was presented as a compromise, but I feel like it’s no different than the current situation.
I am now less frustrated by the scheduling issue than I am by the blatant disregard for my personal time and life outside of my au pairing duties this shows.
TLDR: My contract does not specify exact work hours and host family will not provide a set schedule, expecting me to be available for the entire day until they decide when they need me on the day of. How would you proceed?

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.

*Writing this out, it's dawned on me how mundane this is, but I don't have many friends, let alone gay friends, to talk to about this.*
I 34M and Joe 30M (fake name) have been dating for a couple of years. It's long distance (by UK standards), and we don't see each other as much as we want to. It's slightly depressing to say, but this is the most serious relationship I have ever been in. I honestly love him, and he has said he loves me too. In fact, the text he sent that included the half-assed breakup included that he loved me with all his heart. Basically, he is having problems with his life - his mother being the main one - and says I deserve better... I don't want "better", I want him. I told him that he needs to decide for himself if the relationship is worth it, and not use me as an excuse, as I love him and am happy with him. Not only that, but I would understand if he feels the relationship is too stressful for him as long distance is difficult, but if he gets more from being in it, we can work on things. I said that if he did decide to end it, I would accept it, but I didn't want it to end. And I am leaving him to think it over without me pressuring him.
This is where I am wondering if I should just let it go.
I know he is struggling with his life. And it results in a lack of communication from him, which is difficult for me. Examples: -I didn't know Joe had been kicked out of his mother's place (again!). -Joe also didn't tell me until 2 days after that all his friends cancelled on him for his birthday gathering. -I invited Joe to come to mine for my birthday, and he didn't respond... at all. The next message ignored the invite. But it was shortly after that I got the half-assed breakup message. Normally, I would be utterly paranoid about the lack of communication, and it's why I have never had a long relationship before, but I honestly felt secure with Joe.
What do you think? Should I have accepted the half-assed breakup, or is fighting for us a better thing to do?

***Lily***
“Stupid gnome prejudice. I may not be the biggest fan of gnomes but, just because we are small doesn’t mean we can’t cause some damage.” Mogsten says as he walks over, kicks the fishman, and picks up the horn and dusts it off. “I’m hesitant to admit this since, when he regains consciousness, he will do what he could to ruin my business even more but, still, thank you Wabbajack.” He says.
“Don’t mention it Mogsten, this guy’s haggling game was all over the place.” Wabbajack responds.
“Indeed, he has no understanding of value.” Mogsten says with a smirk on his face.
“Well, unless he knew that you had about another sixty of those in the back that is.” Wabbajack says as he chuckles.
Mogsten quickly turns around as he says, “Shh. That’s a trade secret.” He then lets out an “oh ho ho” chuckle. He then looks down and yells, “Gourdsten! Clean up!”
Just like that, Gourdsten comes out from the back and drags the body off. Soon after the body disappears towards the back, Gourdsten reappears with a spray bottle, gloves, and a sponge.
“What happened to him?” I ask Mogsten.
“Don’t worry, I can’t afford a bloody reputation. He is just in stasis until the authorities get here.” Mogsten answers with.
“Stasis?” I ask.
“She really is new to all this huh? Stasis is basically freezing someone in a state of time. In this state however, while nothing can happen to them, they can’t function. Depending on the state they are in when they go under, they may be aware of the environment around them. Sometimes, certain criminals may undergo such punishment for their crimes.” Mogsten explains, looking at Wabbajack for some reason.
Mogsten then looks at me and asks, “So, did you find all the ingredients?”
I nod my head.
He then rubs his temple as he asks, “And you Really intend to go through with this?”
“There’s no other option!” I exclaim.
“Well, there are quite a few, just that they would take a LOT longer.” Wabbajack points out.
I look at him in annoyance and he responds with, “What? Just saying.”
I sigh and look at Mogsten and hand him the “ingredients”.
“Let’s see what we have. A fur scarf, a pistol, a lantern that looks like a child tried to make it, a… rubber duck. And what the world is this?” Mogsten asks pulling out the leg.
“It’s a prosthetic leg for a dragon-sized crocodile. Well, a smaller scale version at the very least.” I explain.
“Who would put a prosthetic leg on a Dragon-sized crocodile?” he asks.
“Right?” I ask in return.
He then looks back at the leg, strokes his fake beard, and says, “Well, when you put it like that, makes sense you would want to use it as an ingredient.” He then looks back at me and asks, “Are these the ingredients that you Really want to use?”
“They fit the descriptions that you gave me.” I point out.
He then looks at the ingredients again and says, “Yes… this may actually work then.”
“Come again?” I ask him.
“Well, one of the Biggest reasons, after that whole dark nature I mentioned, that this fails is that people try to influence their familiar by using ingredients that don’t inspire these feelings.” He explains.
“Because of this disconnection between the host and the familiar, that may also cause the familiar to go berserk as well.” Wabbajack then explains.
“Exactly!” Mogsten exclaims as he points towards to Wabbajack. He then looks back to me and asks, “With that in mind, are you one-Hundred percent sure that these ingredients are correct?”
I nod again and explain, “I can explain my reasons if you want.”
“No. As long as you are certain, then follow me to the back.” He says as he picks everything up again and starts waddling towards the back.
“Would you like some help?” I ask.
“No, I have to prepare everything anyways so it’s best I handle most things from here.” He explains.
Wabbajack walks past me but, I notice he is holding his banjo-thing upside-down. But, its neck is awfully long. Long enough to reach the ground and have the base be about level to his head. Which is pretty impressive since he is not that much taller than me. I want to ask about it but, I figured that is better left for later. Besides, I could probably guess that it can switch between a staff and an instrument. So, I shrug and follow them towards the back.
As I pass the flaps, I let out an audible, “Wow” because the room is massive! There is so much stock in here. I would have never guessed it from the gypsy-sized tent I see from the outside.
I guess Mogsten hears me as he says while putting the items in a pattern, “Spatial compression spell. It’s like that bag you are probably holding. It’s a pocket of space that you can mess with everything as long as it’s registered to you. Any merchant worth his salt at least attempts to lessen the target on his store to wannabe burglars. For example, there was a tannery that was completely torn apart for scrap. I hear the owner left it unattended And unlocked. I hope he can recover from that, it’s a pretty costly mistake.”
I look off towards the side and say, “Oh, I hear he is doing alright. Hehe.”
He pulls out a spray can and says while he shakes it, “That’s good.” He then starts spraying the ground.
I look over towards Wabbajack, who is standing sideways towards the thing Mogsten is working on. He has his free hand about chest level, fingers-spread, and it looks like he has a weird circle thing again like when I think I have seen him do before when he casted magic. Like when he summoned that ghost thing. I guess he is on guard duty.
I look back at Mogsten and see he is about halfway done at this point. He works fast since the design is very intricate. Now that I think about it, it looks like that circle Wabbajack has but… different. I think I remember reading about this. These must be magic circles. While they look similar, they must be different since each magic circle represents something different. Kinda like snowflakes. I can’t help but ask, “What’s that you are spraying to make that magic circle?”
“Ah, someone has been studying. It’s a mixture of compounds for creating the familiar summoning circle. I kept a few around just in case that someone managed to convince me to do this.” He explains. He then stands up and shakes it some more as he says, “I thought it was unlikely but, a smart businessman looks at every opportunity.” He then goes back to spraying and says, “Now, no offense, but mind letting me focus? I got to make sure I get this perfect. I want to lessen the margin of error as much as possible.”
“Oh! Sure. Sorry.” I say. Now that I think about it, I look towards my bag and think about what he said, “Like my bag.” I open it and it looks like a normal bag. Either it needs to be activated or it doesn’t have that spell yet. I’ll have to ask about that after we are done.
“Before I forget, leave your bandolier and bag over by Wabbajack there. We don’t want to add unnecessary items to the circle.” Mogsten says as he shakes the can again.
“Oh! Alright!” I respond. I take off my bandolier and put it down by Wabbajack.
“Don’t worry. If worse comes to worse, I’ll protect you. And come whatever may, we’ll figure out what to do next.” Wabbajack says.
I feel a little relief hearing him say that. Next thing I know, Gourdsten runs up to me with a simple white robe. “Oh, what’s this?” I ask.
“It’s a robe.” Wabbajack says.
As I look at him, annoyed, Gourdsten says, “Robe! Wear Robe!”
Mogsten then explains, “You’ll have to take off the rest of your gear as well and wear just that robe. Like I said, No unnecessary items. Only simple clothes.”
I look at the robe and say, “Oh… There is a changing room, right?”
“This way! Here, here!” Gourdsten says as he pulls my arm.
“Alright! Calm down.” I say.
I follow him to a wooden stall. “I guess I change in there, huh?” I ask.
“Yes! Correct!” Gourdsten says.
I sigh and open it up, step inside and change. Afterwards, after I step out in the robe, Gourdsten then says, “Shoes! Too!”
I look down and sigh. I then ask, “Can that wait till we get back?”
“Shoes! Shoes! He repeats.
I then puff my face in annoyance as I sit down and take off my shoes. “Happy?” I ask.
He just jumps up and down and starts walking back.
All I can think is that it’s a good thing that the floor is at least wooden. I then get up, grab my stuff, and chase after him.
As we get back, Mogsten appears out of nowhere and points behind him as he says, “Circle is done. All that is left is the blood of the subject.”
“You’re not going to slit my wrists, are you?” I ask with a meek chuckle.
“Heaven’s no!” He says as he pulls out a syringe. He then grabs my wrist under these large sleeves and asks, “On three. Ready?”
I nervously nod my head. Just as he opens his mouth, I quickly say, “Wait! Why do we need blood again?” Trying to delay the inevitable.
He looks at me and explains, “A familiar is an extension of yourself. Quite literally. In order to cement that bond, it needs the blood of the host. That bond will allow you and your familiar to share experiences but, still allow autonomy for individual thought. You can live without it but, for it to retain its presence, it needs you alive.”
“Fascinating. Mind going into more detail?” I say with a weak smile.
He then stabs the syringe into my wrist as he says, “No.”
“Ow!” I yelp.
Just like that, he pulls the syringe out and empties it out into a bowl. “Alright, here you go.” He says as he hands me the bowl.
As I stare into a small bowl of my own blood, I ask, “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Now, You stand at the center of the circle. As I activate the circle, the blood will start sloshing around in that bowl. Do NOT let a SINGLE drop fall out until the last item is floating. When the last item does start floating, pour the blood in the center and take four steps back. Got it?” he explains.
I look over back to the circle and then look back to Mogsten and repeat, “Don’t let it spill until the last object starts floating. When it does, pour it all out and take four steps back, right?”
He nods and says, “Correct.” I think I then hear him mumble, “I can’t believe I was convinced to do this.” As he walks away.
I then take my place at the center of the circle. I am somewhat trembling at this point.
“Are you sure, you want to do this?” Mogsten asks again.
“Just do it already!” I yell back.
He lets out a sigh and starts mouthing something as he levels out his arms towards me.
I could feel the energy around me shifting and moving. I start seeing the objects that were placed start floating one by one. Slowly but surely. I then look down at the bowl and it is sloshing around. So far, not too bad. Around the time the fourth object starts floating, the blood really starts flying around to the point I have to actually adjust to make sure it doesn’t go flying out.
After a few more minutes the last object starts flying up. As soon as it stops moving, I pour the blood and take four steps back. The blood stops midair and forms a bubbling ball. It then rises up about level to my face. It stops bubbling and then a flash of blinding light envelops the room and I try to shield my eyes.
After a minute, I slowly open my eyes and lower my arms. What I see before me is something pretty weird.
It’s in the shape of a sphere with a detached fox tail. The floating tail matches the fur of the body of the “familiar”, I guess. Its fur is a golden yellow with a white tip. The body looks like it has a line down the middle, with Very sharp fangs from the top row. It has fox ears and tiny fox paws and a fox nose. It’s got lines for eyes? Either that or they are just closed. Between its ears, it has a lantern dangling from a line, kinda like an angler fish. The other side of that line looks like white gator leather and it has two tiny gator feet. As it yawns, I guess, it opens its massive mouth, showing all its fangs, top and bottom rows, and stretches its fox paws, revealing some nasty looking barbed claws. It’s only as tall as, from the floor, up to my knee.
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What example is Rick to his sons? They aren't seeing Dad , going to work daily.. all they see is Dad, following Mom, and running errands.. What examples will his boys have???? As to work hard for your family. See, I'm annoyed again. I have to leave these people alone, for my own health 😆 🤣