At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
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“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”

Frey Holland

"I'll let you in on a secret, but… I'm a pretty big deal. Like, actually I'm kind of a big deal now!"
A New York native, Frey Holland is in reality a descendant of Athia’s lineage of matriarchs, the Tanta’s. Daughter of the Tanta of Love, Cinta, Frey has a powerful magical affinity within her. And that magic is only amplified by the magical parasite she calls Cuff—although he’d prefer Vambrace. For more info, look at my beautifully crafted, full-length respect thread of the girl of all girls.
Strength

• Breaks open a locked door with a launched projectile
  
• One of Frey's attacks leaves cracks in Tanta Sila's throne. The throne is presumably made of some type of stone.
  

Durability

• Takes a large fireball that sets the entire wall and a few bookcases aflame
  
• Her shield takes a hit that destroys Tanta Sila's entire throne room, leaving nothing behind but shattered walls and pillars
  
• Takes a kick that craters the floor and kicks rocks into the air
  
• Takes three blasts from Susurrus and falls off her dragon/mother's back down to the floor. Though she is teleported closer to the ground mid fall, the actual distance is still considerable
  

Speed

• Dodges a point-blank swing from Tanta Sila's sword

Magic

• Frey’s magic is divided by the Tanta’s, whose magic she absorbs after she defeats them. These give her the power over specific elements, namely:
  
  • Frey’s own magic: Earth/nature
    
    • Can use magic to make gigantic branches emerge from the ground
    • Frey can bind foes with living plants.
    • Her bonds are strong enough to constrain Tanta Sila, the Tanta of strength.
  • Tanta Sila's Magic: Fire
    
    • Can use Sila's control over fire to pull people towards her like a whip.
    • Sila's magic allows Frey to use a blade brimming with flames.
    • Frey can also unleash a flurry of fiery punches.
    • Can enclose an area in flames
  • Tanta Prav's Magic: Water
    
    • Can use Prav's control over water and gravity to float into the air.
    • Can summon a watery pillar that spouts out from the ground.
    • Can trap foes with water and then freeze them.
  • Tanta Olas' Magic: Lightning
    
    • Can use Olas' control over electricity to zip across the battlefield at high speeds.
    • Can make an area erupt in lightning.
    • Frey can create an illusory decoy of herself.
    • Can cast a storm-charged spear that erupts into lightning.

Misc. skills

• Frey Holland is immune to the Break, a magical disease that affects everyone else in Athia but her.
  
• Is adept at climbing/parkour, even without magic. With magic, these skills are only heightened.
  
• Eventually, she gains control over Torana's (magical portals) and is able to summon them at will.
  
  • These portals are inter- as well as intradimensional
• Has a super cool girlfriend <3
  

How to Use Frey on R slash WhoWouldWin

Frey’s main boon is her large variety of magical options. Her physicals aren’t all that impressive, but an opponent who is slightly more physically capable than her could be overpowered or overwhelmed by her sheer amount of options. Her speed with Olas’s magic (though only really expressed in gameplay, so should be taken with a grain of salt) is also incredibly impressive. If you are to use her, I’d suggest opponents who are more physically focused and maybe lacking in the magical/esoteric department.

TLDR; I've adapted three personal meditation practices and I find them interesting and rewarding. I'd appreciate any feedback on them; if they are healthy or potentially impeding my practice. I call them "sphere of space", "the mollusk", and "music focus".
I've been practicing guided and silent meditation for 20 minutes a day for about five days per week for three months. Wondering how others relate to these three personal practices I've adapted.

1. Sphere of space: During the meditation opening, when there's mindful awareness of the present experience (investigative body scan, surrounding noises and sensations), I also "sense" the space around me, at least how I imagine or "feel" it to be. Usually I do about a three meter radius in all directions. The temperature, density, and movement of the air. Surrounding objects and living things.

When in a room, one interesting part of this is imagining what's below me. I feel my seat and the density of my body making contact with the cushion/floor. But then I imagine what is below that-- wood boards, crawl space, then dirt and rock, worms and roots, cold and dark. Sometimes I expand to a wider radius-- I imagine what's above me: sky, clouds, the thinning atmosphere and threshold of space. My cross-legged body just a speck stuck to the side of a beautiful celestial sphere.
Once I meditated in a mossy clearing in the woods. When investigating body sensations, I imagined I could feel down into the moss as if it was an extension of my nervous system. Then I "felt" it stretch all the way to the trees, up the trunks, to the tips of the branches-- again, as if an extension of myself. I don't believe there's any real/physical component to this, just imagination; I don't believe there's any real mechanism for the human mind to connect to other living things in this way. I am a fairly staunch scientific materialist. Still, the thought exercise felt really good. It felt like I was scratching a part of my brain I'd never felt. It was very peaceful and rewarding. I have theories on why it felt the way it did, but this post is getting too long.

1. The mollusk visualization: I've been getting better at breathwork. Now I can string together a few seconds of (what feels like) pure focus/awareness of breath, with my brain relieved of all other thought processes. Of course, this can sometimes be extremely challenging. When I have trouble concentrating, I add increasingly complex visualizations. For example, first I imagine a light in my chest growing brighter with breath-in and dimmer with breath-out. If I still have trouble, I'll imagine the light spinning faster with breath-in and slower with breath-out.

I found that instead of focusing on one point in the body like nostrils, chest, or abdomen, it helps to feel the body as a whole. Its hard to explain but it's like feeling the whole body at once, just a big blob of flesh, bones, and skin. Feeling my blood moving around, spreading to the capillaries just beneath the skin. Just an organic mass performing the simple task of respiration.
It reminded me of a mollusk, like a clam. Then I imagine the air is very dense and dark. Essentially I imagine I am a clam at the bottom of a deep ocean. My brain isn't doing much. The body is simple, anchored, in stasis. The breath-in and breath-out is all that need occur; the central nervous system is barely whispering. No thought. Just existing, stable, breathing. Then I reduce the visualization until I'm in that hyper-focused breathwork state.

1. Music focus: I'm very curious to hear what people think of this one. I LOVE music. I love music where it's actually musicians playing real instruments. I love "actively" listening to music. But when I started meditating, my active listening unlocked another level.

Seated with eyes closed, I attempt to actively listen to music. But REALLY concentrate. Focus on, say, just the guitar part. Holding that concentration on every little detail of the guitar. If my mind wanders, I gently bring it back. Then I move to other instruments. Then to the entire song as a whole. Just working on focusing my mind and not allowing any other thought processes to come in.
This may not be the formal way to practice concentration meditation. And I see it as sort of training wheels-- practicing the focus and the redirection from the wandering mind (or to allow the wandering thoughts to float away like bubbles while I stay behind). Eventually, I aim to do this with simply breath, or simply being. But can "music focus" meditation be counterproductive to my practice?
Those are my tidbits. Happy to hear any feedback and thanks for reading!

Dracula: World of War --- The Violet Reaper ---- Humans Don’t Make Good Familiars Book 1 ---- The Lonely World --- Discord ---- YouTube --- My Patreon --- My Author's Page --- ArcAngel98 Wiki ---- The Next Best Hero ---- HDMGF Book 2 ---- Jess and Blinx: The Wizard ---- The Questing Parties ---- Previous
It took a month for Zanwy to recover from losing her wing. The shaman said everything went well, but afterwards she developed a fever for three days, and couldn’t move from the pain for over a week. Even after the fever broke and the pain faded, she was still too weak to move, and could not eat for some time. I visited her every day, bringing her food, making sure she ate even a little, and peeling the chard scales off the wound to help it heal. The shaman never even returned once to check on Zanwy. Her parents and siblings stayed with her, but that may have only been because they lived there too. After she recovered her strength, we started making plans on what to do. She knew the swarm wouldn’t accept her anymore, and I never felt at peace within it, so our plan was to leave.
“Are you ready?” I asked Zanwy as we overlooked the cliff edge. Even though I could fly now, I was not strong enough to carry her, so she needed to climb down. Which, after a month of infrequent meals and not moving much, seemed risky. “We could wait a few more weeks. Until you recover.”
“No. I can’t stay here.” One claw after the other, her wing pressed tightly to her back so she didn’t catch an updraft and twist, her belly flat against the rock, and her head pointed to the ground, she climbed down carefully. Of course, I could have glided down, but I didn’t. It felt wrong now somehow. The rocks shadows had moved over an inch before we made it to the bottom, with the forest we loved so much as our first destination. We thought that maybe the first place we should go could be past the furthest point we’d gone together.
Walking through those familiar rolling grassy hills and past the jumper’s nests, I listened to these familiar sounds one last time. Taking it all in, I heard, of course, that penetrating roar of the swarm, but there was also the small wet splashes of the jumpers moving about, the small howl of the wind as it made waves in the tall grass, the crunch of that same grass under our claws as we walked, and Zanwy’s slight panting. She was out of breath, but was keeping quiet, hoping I wouldn’t notice.
Eventually, we reached the edge of the forest, and stopped to eat red-berries. We sat in the grass and ate the red-berries that had fallen out of the treetops. Once we’d had our fill, and juice dripped from our snouts, I asked Zanwy, “How do you feel?”
“Off balance. Walking is a lot harder than I remember it being.” Zanwy said, limping slightly.
“Can you climb?” I looked up to the branches we always run along.
“I… no. I don’t think so.”
“What if I helped you?”
“Maybe, but jumping along the branches would be hard.” A drop of berry juice ran down her mouth and landed on the grass as she licked her claws clean.
“Okay, we can just-”
“No, I wanna try.” Zanwy said.
Getting Zanwy up the tree truck was clumsy and hard. She rested her tail on my head as I climbed below her, pushing her up for support. It took a few minutes but she and I made it to the strong branches. The branch swayed with the wind, and Zanwy flared her one wing, before quickly realizing her mistake and pulling it, and herself, closer to the branch. Using my wings to balance myself, I walked over to her. “Should we go back down?”
“Not yet. Just let me…” She slowly stood back up, and kept her wing pressed to her body. The nub where her missing wing had once been pressed itself down too, mimicking the movements of the other like an invisible mirror. Pushing off, she jumped to another nearby branch, and landed safely on the other side. Once again, I heard heavy panting, but she couldn’t hide it as well right now. “See, I can do it!” Zanwy yelled excitedly as her tail swayed back and forth from the edge. I followed suit, and lept to the branch next to her. It took a while, but she found a rhythm, and we ran along the branches for nearly an hour, until the sun began to set.
“It’s almost night. Let’s find somewhere to sleep.” I suggested.
“Yeah, let’s head back to the ground.” Zanwy agreed.
“You don’t want to sleep in the trees?”
“No. Without my wing… I don’t wanna risk falling by accident. Do you mind sleeping with me on the ground?”
“Okay, let’s find somewhere safe.” We spent a few minutes looking around, and found a tree with a hollow spot near the base. It was cramped, but empty. By the time the moon rose we had already settled down. Zanwy rested closer to the back of the hollow, and I slept near the entrance.
“It’s cold.” She said, and yawned. Since we were under a tree, the walls of the hollow couldn’t be heated with fire directly. So slowly and carefully, Zanwy and I used our fire to heat the dirt under us instead. Small embers of grass charred, caught fire, and burned away, leaving the ground much warmer; enough for us to sleep comfortably.
That night, I dreamt of Zanwy. She was flying around, soaking up the sunlight with her wings. I was the too; flying right beside her. We danced in the sky together. Zipping and diving about. It was so quiet. It was just us; as a perfectly happy swarm of two. Later that night, I woke up feeling sluggish and dizzy. A moment later I realized how cold it had gotten, and that the heat from the ground had long since gone. Zanwy was still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her up.
Controlling flames is easy… to a point. But once something is on fire, you don’t control how it burns. That was something my father taught me when I breathed my first flame. The grass had already burned, so I assumed it could burn again. Because of that, I thought it would be safe to use more this time. I assumed wrong. One breath was all it took, and the walls turned yellow with fire. I tried to put it out by beating it with my tail and wings, but that only spread it faster.
“Zanwy! Get up!” I shouted. Dragons may be harder to burn, but enough fire can char and blacken even our scales.
Zanwy startled awake, “what’s going on? What happened!?” The flames started creeping closer, so she scrabbled to her and we both ran out of the hollow. It didn’t take long for the rest of the tree to burn, and for the fire to spread to the nearby trees. We ran away as fast as we could, the smell of smoke in our noses, and the sounds of crackling flames left behind us. Once we’d gotten safely out of the forest, I told Zanwy what happened.
“I’m sorry.” I told her.
“I guess the forest isn’t as used to fire as our nests are.” She said. She was upset, but was trying to not let me hear it. “Let’s just find someone else to sleep for tonight.” It was dark, but we could both see well enough to spot a rocky outcrop.
“Rocks are harder to burn than trees.” Zanwy said, crawling into an opening between the rocks. We crawled inside, and made sure there was nothing that could burn this time.
“Looks safe to heat these up.” I suggested. Zanwy agreed, and we spent several minutes making the place warm. “Much better.”
We finally got to sleep again after that, and woke up to beams of light hitting our eyes from the opening in the rocks. I rolled my head away from the light, and covered my eyes with my wings. I was all set to go back to sleep, until Zanwy said, “Woah… look at this, Blinx.”
Sliding one of my wings down, I peaked an eye open. With the sun out, the cave we were in became a lot brighter. Enough to see that it was much deeper than we’d realized. Zanwy, who’d slept further in than I did, noticed it first.
“This hole is really deep.” She said. “And it gets darker inside too. Do you wanna go explore it?”
I stood up, and my stomach growled. “Sure, but let’s eat first.” We left the cave in search of food. Outside, we found three things. One, some tasty slitherers under a big rock. Two, some water under another rock. And three, a burned down forest. Well, not the whole forest, but a lot of it that we could see. In the distance, white smoke rose into the sky from a few different places. A lot of the grass around the rocky area had been burnt up too.
“I guess we slept through the worst of it.” Zanwy said.
“Are the fires out now, at least?”
“Yeah, the smoke it white, so nothing’s burning anymore.” The was a moment of quiet, and I thought about how lucky we were to escape that tree in time, and how careless I was.
“I’m… sorry. We almost got hurt because of me.”
“Forget it. Name one dragon who hasn’t accidentally burned something with their breath. Let’s just go look at that cave. That’s why we left, right? To explore?” She said.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
The cave itself was very deep, and the walls were made of stones of lots of different colors. As we climbed down, we had to squeeze between rocks, and scrabble with our claws to make holes as we went deeper and deeper down. Eventually, the light from outside didn’t shine, but we could still see fairly well, though not as far, and without any colors. The cave quickly went from colorful, to just shades of gray. As we went along, the sounds of our claws on the stone did something strange. The sounds started happening several times, and coming from all around us.
“Do you hear that Zanwy?” I asked.
“Hear what?”
“Listen,” I said, and tapped the stone with my claw. Suddenly, the same tap came from above, below, and beside us; like a tiny swarm was clattering all around the rocks.
“Let me try.” She said, and scratched a stone. Once again, the sounds repeated. “Oh wow!” We decided to go deeper, and find out what was causing the sounds to do that. Eventually though, we entered a big open area in the cave.
“What is this?” I asked, hoping down into the area, and looking around.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the village of another species!” Zanwy said. “Hello!” She cried out with her mind in a way that any species could hear and understand, but there was no answer. As we continued to look around, we found all kinds of things. There were strangely small hard clay nests all around, but they were filled with tiny rocks and ash and mud. There were also lines of white mud on the ground. I followed them, and they led to the center of the ‘village’.
“Find anything?” Zanwy asked, walking over.
“No, but I am getting cold.”
“Yeah, it was much warmer aboveground.”
“Do you wanna warm up?”
“No, you go ahead, I’m going to keep looking around.” She said. As she walked away, I used my fire to warm up the rocks below me. Suddenly, light started to shine from the mud lines, revealing that I was standing on a large, circle with a strange pattern on it. The light got brighter and brighter, and I tried to run, but found that I couldn’t move. “Blinx!”
“Zanwy!” Without warning, I felt dizzy, and I could move again. Then I heard the sounds of something behind me, but it wasn’t Zanwy. Growly, I tried to make myself look bigger, and threatening. Whatever it was, it stood on two legs, and was rubbing its eyes. In its hand was a broken tree branch, with a rock at one end. The cave village had been filled with light, but it came from all around.
“What the?” The creature mumbled, looking at me. “Are you a dragon?” I growled at the creature, while looking around for Zanwy, but she wasn’t there.
“Who are you? Where’s Zanwy?” I demanded. I let the flames build up in my mouth to show that I was dangerous.
The creature grabbed her head. “Telepathy. That’s new. My name is Jess. I’m a wizard. Who are you?”

I'm laying on my couch with extreme neck and head pain, I kinda feel like I need answers at this point. Like this is my rock bottom.
A bit of history: I'm AFAB and 25 years old. As long as I can remember the joints in my legs have hurt. As a kid I was told it was growing pains, that I'd grow outta it. Never did, to this day I'll still experience it. It seems like the cold and being in uncomfortable positions brings it on. I can't sit criss cross for more than 5 minutes before the pain becomes too much. Kneeling is a nightmare if I'm not on something to cushion them. At some point it began in my arms as well. Shoulders, elbows, wrists, and fingers. I get pain from itching my head because of having to hold them up. In recent years my neck has started hurting and it'll give me an entire headache. Those are the worst. And when performing oral my jaw hurts very quickly (sorry for the TMI just trying to paint a picture of all I experienced). I'm at a point I gotta pop 1000mg of ibuprofen or acetaminophen to feel relief. Getting a job where I sit, proper footwear, and a high quality mattress have helped but I don't feel "cured." At one point around 18-19 I brought it up with my PCP and we did some blood tests. Everything came back normal and I didn't have the time, energy, or financial means to look into it further. Well now I have all of those things, but I still feel afraid? 2023 was the year of medical stuff for me and I was ready to be done with it. However now the pain has been flaring up again and I have to decide how I wanna proceed. I guess I just wanna know what to try, what to look out for, what I should be pushing for in doctor visits. Any practical advice would be appreciated.

So, I'll may seem like a horrible person, but I genuinely love my boyfriend who I'll call A, he's really sweet and I wouldn't ask for anything more, he's kind, he plays the same videogames as me, he wishes me good morning and goodnight despite out 8 hour time difference, and I genuinely love him with all my heart, he's all I could ever ask for. I've been dating A for around 4 months.
But as per the title, I also have another man in my heart, a guy in my university, let's call him H. We're in the same course (I'm doing a degree in physics) and we've bonded over some of the topics and theories discussed (states of matter, cold fusion, warp engines, ect), now I'd like to clarify, I've had a crush (if I can even call it that) on H for way longer than A and myself have been dating, but when i initially met A, he completely blew me away with how well our personalities match.
A is a homebody and doesn't work out, but he's not severely overweight, I mean, he's still really cute to me, but idk, there's something about H that just takes my breath away every time I see him, H is very active and I can tell he has a great body, well, I know he does, because he invited me to watch one of his water-polo matches. I'd like to clarify, I've never once found athletic bodies this attractive before, in most cases I preferred boys with some meat on their bones. I'd personally say thay A has my favourite body type.
I'm genuinely so conflicted, I don't know what to do, I don't want to cheat because that's just cruel and horrible. In the long run however I'm not sure my heart can take being with H for another year without saying anything. Non of my friends are helping me, saying things like "go for H, he's got a hotter body", they keep trying to get me to break up with A to get with H, but i don't want to leave A, as he's the first guy I've dated who's treated me with genuine love and affection. But at the same time H treats me kindly and is always there when I'm going through something tough, not to mention his brain stored everything. I love H's laugh, i love his smile, I love the way he speaks, I love the way he smells, but I can say the same things for A.
So please Reddit... what should I do?
Also, for extra information, I've known H since year 8 (like grade 7?) And A got about a year.

Intro: For your distinguished service to the crown, you’ve been assigned the difficult and dangerous job of slaying a dragon purported to have slaughtered a village on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s a job you should be able to handle, and you’re not too scared… now, if only the whole thing felt less wrong…
Summary: Listener meets a new acquaintance who befriends her, and offers to guide her where she needs to go. They face a danger together, and she learns that he is not what he seems.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 3800.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
TWs: Running deception, combat, discussion of mass murder (dragon burning places to the ground), possessiveness, forced sleep
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, he is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by himself.
Author’s Note: And also the flipped version, for the draconic gentlemen out there!
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
F4M version here.
​
​
{internal monologue} {disgusted} Ugh, those damn livestock merchants charge more every time. Gouging bastards, {rationalization} but I do need them to stay silent. If the town finds out how much food I have to purchase every month, it’ll only end badly. Besides, it’s not like even this much bribery makes a dent in my hoard. I should really just be glad I haven’t met any merchants with integrity, that wouldn’t end well. Good thing it’s a vanishingly rare trait these days… {annoyance} wait, no, that’s not a good thing, what am I saying? It’s sad… but it does make my life easier. Well, that’s a hell of a conundrum. {sigh} {bored} Not one I haven’t dealt with before, though. Have this conversation with myself every time. Oh, well. What matters is the food’ll be delivered soon, I don’t have to go into hibernation, and the merchants won’t talk. Anything else I wanted to do before heading home? Hmm… I think I wanted to stop at the spice merchant, see how much- {interest} HELlo. Who is that?
{curiosity} What would a knight be doing here? I mean, I suppose the goblin raids have been getting more brazen, but the town guards seem to have it handled, I haven’t even needed to get involved yet. I guess she could be here about that, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe she’s just passing through? Well, best way to find out is to go talk to-
{quiet} Oh, damn. That’s- oh, damn. Fuck, she’s hot. {forced calm} Okay, composure. You are an all-powerful dragon. You will not be thrown off your game by one mortal, no matter how shiny her armor is. And it’s only her armor you’ll be looking at, right? Right. Ignore that beautiful face, you just need to find out what she’s doing here, not-
{suspicious} Wait. Who’s she talking to? {upset} The spice merchant? And he’s BLUSHING? Uh-uh. No. Not gonna fly.
{out loud} {sickly sweet} Hiiiii, hello! It’s me again, I’m here to pick up some- Oh? Who’s this? A new friend?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a conversation. Please, continue. I can wait.
{cough}
Oh, no, don’t mind me, just looking at… cumin. My, this smells awfully strong.
So sorry to barge in again, uh, I would like to buy these.
Are you leaving? Well, it was lovely to meet you.
{internal monologue} Okay, let me just finish up here, and I can go talk to her.
{pleased} Hah! Look frustrated, spice sleazeball. Serves you right. {confused} Wait, do I know your name? Have I ever asked your name? Eh, doesn’t matter right now, I don’t need to know everyone in the village. {disgust} Especially not someone who flirts with- {confusion} Wait, what am I doing? I don’t have any claim over some random knight, why am I acting like this?
{frustrated noise} Figure out internal dilemma later, find human now. Where’d she go?
Agh! Curse this mortal form’s short legs, I can’t see- wait! Shiny!
{out loud} Hey! Hey! Wait up!
{out of breath} Whew… Thought I was gonna… gonna lose you… for a minute.
Thanks. Only need… a few seconds…
{composed} Hi. I’m Typhon*.* Sorry to chase after you like that, but I realized I didn’t catch your name?
Oh, that’s a lovely name. It suits you.
{pleased} Oh, flatterer. {internal monologue} She’s smooth, isn’t she? I was expecting all armor, no brain. I understand why the spice merchant was blushing now, I guess. {out loud} I just wanted to ask you… uh, I wanted to ask you what you were doing at the spice merchant’s? Usually passers-through don’t stop there when they can get their salt cheaper elsewhere.
Oh, that’s interesting! I didn’t know you could find that here.
Oh, no, I don’t spend very much time there. I mostly go in, buy what I need for my next few weeks of meals, and leave. Other places to be. More important places.
{laugh} Well. You certainly know the way to a man’s heart. {internal monologue} A knight with both manners and a sense of humor… who’d have thought?
{out loud} Wonderful. So, what brings you to Wylgrith? It’s not a large settlement by any means, and well out of the way of… everything, really. What reason would a mighty royal knight have for stopping by? Were you sent to handle the goblins that-
{stunned} …Say what now?
The dragon? You were sent to kill the DRAGON?
Can you… not?
{off-balance} I mean- uh- Well, I don’t see why you would, do I? After all, the dragon hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, right? And even before that he didn’t harm any humans for decades. He-
I- uhhh… I guess I’m guessing he’s a ‘he?’ I did see him once, flying overhead, though, and he looked like a boy dragon. Kind of stocky.
I… suppose ‘it’ works as well, yeah. {quiet, sad} A little hurtful, though…
{back on track} Nothing, nothing. So, why are you killing the dragon, again? I don’t think… it… has even harmed a human in living memory.
{sputtering} What? No it didn’t!
I- I think I would know if it burned down a village. I mean, this place is still standing, right?
A different- Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t have done anything like-
{quickly} No, no, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve met the thing, right? But it hasn’t burned down this village, so why would-
{tentative} Oh. They said that?
Right to the king?
Right in the middle of court, where everyone could hear it?
{sad} I guess that settles that, then. The dragon needs to die.
{internal monologue} Damn. What a waste of such a beautiful knight. There’s no chance she could possibly beat me on her own, so she’s going to end up- wait, on her own?
{out loud} {confused} And the king sent you? Alone, I mean? No army, or squad of knights, or cadre of mages? Why would he do that?
{awed} Oh. Oh, that is a very magic sword.
Well, no, I haven’t. But- but you can just tell, can’t you? It’s glowing! And it’s covered in some kind of weird letters, those have to be magical, right?
{internal monologue} {hesitant} Okay. That’s somewhat worrying. Even with all the useless sigils and that pointless glow siphoning its energy, I can feel the power rippling off that thing. Where did she ever find- No, that doesn’t matter. Could it level the playing field? Give her a chance? Hard to tell, I think, my senses in this form aren’t as-
{out loud} I’m sorry, what? I was distracted. Uh- it’s a very pretty sword.
{taken aback} That’s- that’s a good name for it. Very dangerous-sounding.
{internal monologue}{stressed} ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FANGBANE? SHE FOUND FANGBANE? HOW IN THE- {forced composure} no, I’m calm, I’m calm, it’s fine. It’s not worrying at all that she has the most dangerous dragon-slaying sword ever forged. Wow, this very quickly went from “I don’t want to fight her, I don’t want to kill her” to “I don’t want to fight her, I don’t want to die.” Okay, time to nip this in the bud.
{out loud} Wow, it’s done that much? I never would’ve guessed that, it looks much too fancy for that. So… you can actually kill the dragon?
{hesitant} You’re right, I suppose. If it burned a village, it does deserve that. Well… *{resolve}*Do you know how to find its lair?
No, it’s not. If it was, everyone would be constantly in there robbing the hoard, wouldn’t we? Everyone knows that the lair is somewhere on the mountain, but no one knows where.
{triumph} Yes. Except me. And I’ll guide you there.
{reasonable} We already agreed, right? If it burned down a village, killed that many people, it needs to be put down. I want to help with that, and besides, you need someone to take you there. You’ll never find it on your own, so you can’t be too choosy about who you bring, can you?
I like hiking, and the mountain isn’t dangerous if you’ve known what you were doing since you were a child. I found it once, but I ran immediately, because I didn’t want to risk angering the dragon. I think I can find it again, but it’ll be a long trip. Three days at minimum.
{internal monologue} {satisfied} Perfect. A few days wandering in the forest should discourage her, maybe I can even convince her I didn’t burn any village. {confused} Why would she have been told… {moving on} Doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting her off my trail, and maybe getting to know her in the meantime… {upset} No! Stop that! Bad Typhon! She’s literally trying to kill you. She is not a prospective mate, she isn’t even another dragon!
{sigh} {wistful} She is gorgeous, though, especially when the light catches her armor like that… No! Stop!
{out loud} {serious} We should set out soon, then. Do you have enough provisions for the trip?
Good, good. No time to waste, come on.
You’re hunting a dragon. A dragon. Don’t you think it might be wise to move before he- it catches wind of your presence?
Let’s go, then.
{some indicator of a time skip}
{amused} What, don’t tell me you’re getting tired? We’ve only been hiking for a couple hours today, aren’t you supposed to be a big, strong knight?
You could take off the armor, if it’s that hot.
{concession} All right, your decision. And I suppose wearing the armor was helpful when the tangler tree tried to grab you. Fine, we’ll stop for a bit.
How much is left in your waterskin?
Good, good. Mine’s pretty full, I haven’t felt thirsty in a while.
No, we’re definitely going in the right direction. {grasping at straws} I recognize… uh, that rock! Yeah. See how it kinda looks like a bear, if you tilt your head?
Really? Well, I see it. Anyway, I remember seeing that before. We’re about a day’s walk away from the lair, I’m almost certain.
You know, you never asked why I decided to hike in a random direction for three days. {internal monologue} {pleased} I have such a good story for it, too. It’ll leave you crying, and then maybe I can-
{out loud} {taken aback} You do?
What? You’re a royal knight, one of the most honored positions in the land. Why would you feel the need to escape?
{internal monologue} What? What was that? There for a second and then gone, was that… a crack in the charming exterior?
{out loud} No, no, I understand the feeling. I just… didn’t expect it from this quarter. Is something wrong at court? Are you-
{inner monologue} {protective} Oh… Oh her eyes… So sad… What did they do to you, my knight?
{out loud} Please, anything you can-
{confused} What? What’s wrong?
No, I’m not going to shush, we’re talking, and-
{muffled} Mmph! MMMMPH!
{inner monologue} {angy} This presumptuous human dares lay her hand on ME? I don’t care what might be inside her, I’m going to make it outside- {considering} Wait. What’s that noise?
That doesn’t sound like- oh. Oh, those are goblins. And she wanted me to be quiet, and now they heard us, and- oops. Why did I not sense them coming? Goblins wouldn’t know stealth if it snuck up behind them and ripped their legs off, I should’ve heard them from miles away. This doesn’t make any sense… Oh, well. I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Just a few more goblins to kill. If she’d just let go of me… wait, but I don’t want to reveal myself. That makes this much more difficult. Can I kill all these green idiots in my human form? {concerned} Oh, wow, that’s… a worrying amount. Where are they all coming from? All right, I think I can take- wait, what? Human? What are you doing?
{out loud} Why are you getting in front of me? That is far too many goblins for any human to handle, we need to run!
{internal monologue} {flustered} Wha? What does she mean by that? And why does she have to be this lovely as she says it? That’s unfair!
{out loud} No- you can’t-
{internal monologue} {upset} Oh, the stupid, brave, self-sacrificial idiot! She’s gonna get herself killed if I don’t help her- wait, what?
{taken aback} She’s- oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s- wow. I’ve never seen a human fight like that.
{confused} Huh? Why’s she looking back… Is she angry? What?
She’s yelling something… She wants me to run? Wha- {realization} OHHHHH- She thinks I’m in danger, and she’s trying to protect me! She wants to- {touched} aw. That’s the sweetest thing… My heart- {serious} I need to keep this knight alive.
{realization} Oh! I have to pretend to be running, yes. I can’t help her here, much as I want to. Besides, it looks like she has it handled. Those goblins aren’t laying a claw on her, somehow. Guess it was a good decision to wear the armor.
{planning} I’ll come back for her later, and she can be happy that she kept me safe, and maybe I can use that to find out what’s wrong with her, oh, looks like she’s just about finished with those- {shock} wut.
What is that.
That’s a- that’s a freaking hellhound! What in the Low Realms is a hellhound doing here?
{protective} Okay, no, unacceptable. I am not risking my treasure- {concerned} the human. The human! Why did I just think of her as- never mind, time for that later.
{whoosh sfx}
{roar}
{desperate} Oh no, please don’t let me be too late…
{out loud} {furious} Stay away from my human!
{crunch sfx}
{triumph} Hah. That’ll teach you.
Did you get the last of the goblins, lady kni- {wary} What are you doing.
Put that sword down, please, I’m not your enemy.
Okay, no, no, calm down, there’s no need to get worked up.
This isn’t helping anything, can we just talk?
{upset} OW! All right, this has gone far enough
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{sigh} {fading out} What am I going to do with you?
{some indicator of a time skip}
{cordial} Good morning, lady knight. As promised, I brought you to my lair.
Oh, yes, you must be confused.
{whoosh sfx}
There, is that better?
{resigned} Yes. It was me the whole time.
No, it wasn’t. If it had been a game, you would be dead right now. Instead you’re alive, unharmed, even unrestrained, in the middle of my hoard.
Or didn’t you notice?
{amused} Yes, I thought that might get your attention. Being surrounded by enough gold to fill a palace ten times over generally does the trick where humans are involved, or so I am informed.
{annoyed} Fangbane? The sword that slew more of my kind in two years than any other managed in thousands? You want it back?
Tch, no, but I would’ve if I could. That butcher’s blade should’ve been melted down long ago. Alas, it was impervious even to my fire.
I thought that was clear: no, you can’t have it back. You can have another sword, even a magic one, but not that atrocity forged in steel.
{considering} That would seem to be the question of the hour, yes. “What are you doing here.” Well… why don’t you tell me? You were sent to kill me, that much is clear. But much more isn’t. I would like… an explanation.
{annoyed} Oh, come on. You’ve been interacting with me for days now. Do I really seem like the type of person who burns down villages at random? That excuse is worthless… and… {suspicious} I think we both know it. You were sent here for some other reason. What was it? Tell me, before I grow cross.
Oh, I believe they didn’t tell you. But, though I think you like to pretend otherwise, dumb is one thing you are not. You know more than you’re saying, so answer me. Please. Why does the king want me dead?
{stunned} That’s- that’s it? Of all the petty, arrogant, stupid- I’m not even going to bother trying with that. {snort} And humans use dragons as symbols of greed.
{explaining something obvious} Yes. Because I like gold, its color, its luster. And because I enjoy living comfortably. {disgust} Not just… to have more than others.
Even if you don’t want to concede the difference, surely it does not escape you that I earned all of this, not just killed its old owner and stole it.
{offended} Of course I did! The very idea of taking something unearned… ugh.
{considering} You really know so little of my kind…
All of this, though… brings us back to you. You were sent here, presumably because you’re the kingdom’s best knight, the one with the highest chance of victory. You weren’t given any backup because there’s only one Fangbane. And you were fed a lie about me slaughtering innocents to make the job go down easier, but something in you knew that it was a lie. Tell me, am I hitting the mark with these?
So, my question becomes… why didn’t you? You had me at the point of your blade, and with a sword like that and skills like yours, you could’ve done it. If you wanted me dead, I would be, draconic magic and might notwithstanding. Instead, all I have is a scratch on my snout- {venomous} yes, that is the scar on my nose. Injuries do carry over, thank you so much for noticing.
{curious} And now you’re sorry. I don’t think I understand you at all, no matter how hard I try. Please, answer me. I want to.
Wha- {sigh} {exasperated} Well, if you were so certain it was a lie, why come here in the first place? If you felt you were given unjust orders, you could’ve just left the kingdom. Plenty of other places need knights, and there’s always work to be found as a sellsword. You risked much to gain… nothing, as best as I can see.
{dangerous} He… he what?
The king threatened to…
{cold} No. No, that is unacceptable.
No one threatens my human.
Yes, my human. I- {sigh} {warmer} I believe an explanation is in order. You see, I finally figured out what I’ve been feeling these past few days. At first, I thought it might be love, and, well, I suppose it is, of a kind: hoarding instinct. I feel hoarding instinct when I look at you. I saw you for the first time, and something in me just knew. You are the most precious treasure in this entire cavern, and I need to protect and keep you until the end of time, like the work of art you are.
{worried} Ohh, that’s not a good expression. Did I say something wrong? Come on too strong? I promise, living here won’t be bad at all, it’s quite a comfortable lair, whether I’m in human form or dragon. I maintain a good relationship with the villagers, too, so we can even go down to Wylgrith on day trips, as long as you don’t try to leave. You understand the importance of that, I trust.
{calming} No, no, don’t get all worked up. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.
Please, calm down. We’re both rational people, let’s discuss this as such.
{harder} Human, I don’t want to put you to sleep again. Don’t make me.
{pleased} Good, that’s much better. Now, what are your objections?
Mhm, mhm… {logical} Well, in point of fact, no, you don’t have a home anymore. If you go back without proof of my demise, the king will have you executed, will he not?
As I thought. So there’s nowhere else for you to be. As to your next point, of course I won’t keep you as a pet, you’re a sentient human. You have your own free will, thoughts, ideas, desires, the whole package. You would never be a pet. You will be my treasure. Very different thing, and it means I will want to keep you close, keep you safe, and stare at your radiance for as long as draconically possible.
{considering} Well, no, I haven’t heard of this. A living part of a dragon’s hoard? I believe it’s unprecedented, since nothing but gold lasts forever. Nevertheless, we’ll figure something out, we can make it work. And this doesn’t reflect strangely on me, you needn’t worry. I am one of the eldest dragons of this age, the young are used to my… peculiarities by now.
{pleased} Ah, yes, I wondered when we would get to that point. No, as a matter of fact, the king will not be sending other knights, or mages, or armies after me. I will not be killed like that, and you will not be reclaimed by them. And do you wish to know why?
{colder than ice} Because I am going to burn this kingdom to the ground. {amused} Naturally. I could overlook the attempt on my life - it brought me the most precious treasure I have ever known, after all, - I could forgive the use of Fangbane, since now I can make sure it never harms one of my kind again, I could even somewhat tolerate the blatant lies spread about me as flimsy justification. {angry} What I cannot accept, however, is what they have done to you. Threats on your life, on your body, on those you protect, promises of execution, forcing you to stain your soul against your will… no. No one is permitted to harm my human and live. This will, I admit, be something of a first for dragonkind, actually killing humans instead of protecting them is practically unheard of. I may even face repercussions from my kind for this. I find it hard to care, though, these ones are only getting what they deserve, for their actions or their complacence.
Now you’re getting upset again. {soothing} Don’t worry, this isn’t a sign of my outlook changing. I still have no desire to harm humans, and the village is perfectly safe.
We were communicating so well a second ago, if we could return to that, I would be grateful.
I promise you, this shouting and carrying on is nothing but counterproductive.
{tired} Lady knight, if you are not capable of being objective, I will be forced to- oh, forget it.
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{gentle} {slowly fading out} I truly am sorry to do this to you, but I can’t have you fighting me on this. I don’t want you to be upset at me, treasure, so, by the time you wake, the cause of this contention will be gone.
Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s just a simple sleep spell, you’ll wake up comfortable and well-rested.
There. It will all be fixed before you awaken. Don’t worry, my treasure, nothing will ever harm you again.

Intro: For your distinguished service to the crown, you’ve been assigned the difficult and dangerous job of slaying a dragon purported to have slaughtered a village on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s a job you should be able to handle, and you’re not too scared… now, if only the whole thing felt less wrong…
Summary: Listener meets a new acquaintance who befriends him, and offers to guide him where he needs to go. They face a danger together, and he learns that she is not what she seems.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 3800.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
TWs: Running deception, combat, discussion of mass murder (dragon burning places to the ground), possessiveness, forced sleep
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, she is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by herself.
Author’s Note: God, this took way too long to write. A couple months, if you count when I had the idea and when I wrote the first few sentences. Well, it’s here now, and I hope it’s not too disappointing. Prequel series go!
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
M4F Version here.
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{internal monologue} {disgusted} Ugh, those damn livestock merchants charge more every time. Gouging bastards, {rationalization} but I do need them to stay silent. If the town finds out how much food I have to purchase every month, it’ll only end badly. Besides, it’s not like even this much bribery makes a dent in my hoard. I should really just be glad I haven’t met any merchants with integrity, that wouldn’t end well. Good thing it’s a vanishingly rare trait these days… {annoyance} wait, no, that’s not a good thing, what am I saying? It’s sad… but it does make my life easier. Well, that’s a hell of a conundrum. {sigh} {bored} Not one I haven’t dealt with before, though. Have this conversation with myself every time. Oh, well. What matters is the food’ll be delivered soon, I don’t have to go into hibernation, and the merchants won’t talk. Anything else I wanted to do before heading home? Hmm… I think I wanted to stop at the spice merchant, see how much- {interest} HELlo. Who is that?
{curiosity} What would a knight be doing here? I mean, I suppose the goblin raids have been getting more brazen, but the town guards seem to have it handled, I haven’t even needed to get involved yet. I guess he could be here about that, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe he’s just passing through? Well, best way to find out is to go talk to-
{quiet} Oh, damn. That’s- oh, damn. Fuck, he’s hot. {forced calm} Okay, composure. You are an all-powerful dragon. You will not be thrown off your game by one mortal, no matter how shiny his armor is. And it’s only his armor you’ll be looking at, right? Right. Ignore that beautiful face, you just need to find out what he’s doing here, not-
{suspicious} Wait. Who’s he talking to? {upset} The spice merchant? And she’s BLUSHING? Uh-uh. No. Not gonna fly.
{out loud} {sickly sweet} Hiiiii, hello! It’s me again, I’m here to pick up some- Oh? Who’s this? A new friend?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a conversation. Please, continue. I can wait.
{cough}
Oh, no, don’t mind me, just looking at… cumin. My, this smells awfully strong.
So sorry to barge in again, uh, I would like to buy these.
Are you leaving? Well, it was lovely to meet you.
{internal monologue} Okay, let me just finish up here, and I can go talk to him.
{pleased} Hah! Look frustrated, spice skank. Serves you right. {confused} Wait, do I know your name? Have I ever asked your name? Eh, doesn’t matter right now, I don’t need to know everyone in the village. {disgust} Especially not someone who flirts with- {confusion} Wait, what am I doing? I don’t have any claim over some random knight, why am I acting like this?
{frustrated noise} Figure out internal dilemma later, find human now. Where’d he go?
Agh! Curse this mortal form’s short legs, I can’t see- wait! Shiny!
{out loud} Hey! Hey! Wait up!
{out of breath} Whew… Thought I was gonna… gonna lose you… for a minute.
Thanks. Only need… a few seconds…
{composed} Hi. I’m Tiamat*.* Sorry to chase after you like that, but I realized I didn’t catch your name?
Oh, that’s a lovely name. It suits you.
{pleased} Oh, flatterer. {internal monologue} He’s smooth, isn’t he? I was expecting all muscle, no brain. I understand why the spice merchant was blushing now, I guess. {out loud} I just wanted to ask you… uh, I wanted to ask you what you were doing at the spice merchant’s? Usually passers-through don’t stop there when they can get their salt cheaper elsewhere.
Oh, that’s interesting! I didn’t know you could find that here.
Oh, no, I don’t spend very much time there. I mostly go in, buy what I need for my next few weeks of meals, and leave. Other places to be. More important places.
{laugh} Well. You certainly know the way to a woman’s heart. {internal monologue} A knight with both manners and a sense of humor… who’d have thought?
{out loud} Wonderful. So, what brings you to Wylgrith? It’s not a large settlement by any means, and well out of the way of… everything, really. What reason would a mighty royal knight have for stopping by? Were you sent to handle the goblins that-
{stunned} …Say what now?
The dragon? You were sent to kill the DRAGON?
Can you… not?
{off-balance} I mean- uh- Well, I don’t see why you would, do I? After all, the dragon hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, right? And even before that she didn’t harm any humans for decades. She-
I- uhhh… I guess I’m guessing she’s a ‘she?’ I did see her once, flying overhead, though, and she looked like a girl dragon. Kind of slender.
I… suppose ‘it’ works as well, yeah. {quiet, sad} A little hurtful, though…
{back on track} Nothing, nothing. So, why are you killing the dragon, again? I don’t think… it… has even harmed a human in living memory.
{sputtering} What? No it didn’t!
I- I think I would know if it burned down a village. I mean, this place is still standing, right?
A different- Well, I’m sure she wouldn’t have done anything like-
{quickly} No, no, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve met the thing, right? But it hasn’t burned down this village, so why would-
{tentative} Oh. They said that?
Right to the king?
Right in the middle of court, where everyone could hear it?
{sad} I guess that settles that, then. The dragon needs to die.
{internal monologue} Damn. What a waste of such a handsome knight. There’s no chance he could possibly beat me on his own, so he’s going to end up- wait, on his own?
{out loud} {confused} And the king sent you? Alone, I mean? No army, or squad of knights, or cadre of mages? Why would he do that?
{awed} Oh. Oh, that is a very magic sword.
Well, no, I haven’t. But- but you can just tell, can’t you? It’s glowing! And it’s covered in some kind of weird letters, those have to be magical, right?
{internal monologue} {hesitant} Okay. That’s somewhat worrying. Even with all the useless sigils and that pointless glow siphoning its energy, I can feel the power rippling off that thing. Where did he ever find- No, that doesn’t matter. Could it level the playing field? Give him a chance? Hard to tell, I think, my senses in this form aren’t as-
{out loud} I’m sorry, what? I was distracted. Uh- it’s a very pretty sword.
{taken aback} That’s- that’s a good name for it. Very dangerous-sounding.
{internal monologue}{stressed} ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FANGBANE? HE FOUND FANGBANE? HOW IN THE- {forced composure} no, I’m calm, I’m calm, it’s fine. It’s not worrying at all that he has the most dangerous dragon-slaying sword ever forged. Wow, this very quickly went from “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to kill him” to “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to die.” Okay, time to nip this in the bud.
{out loud} Wow, it’s done that much? I never would’ve guessed that, it looks much too fancy for that. So… you can actually kill the dragon?
{hesitant} You’re right, I suppose. If it burned a village, it does deserve that. Well… *{resolve}*Do you know how to find its lair?
No, it’s not. If it was, everyone would be constantly in there robbing the hoard, wouldn’t we? Everyone knows that the lair is somewhere on the mountain, but no one knows where.
{triumph} Yes. Except me. And I’ll guide you there.
{reasonable} We already agreed, right? If it burned down a village, killed that many people, it needs to be put down. I want to help with that, and besides, you need someone to take you there. You’ll never find it on your own, so you can’t be too choosy about who you bring, can you?
I like hiking, and the mountain isn’t dangerous if you’ve known what you were doing since you were a child. I found it once, but I ran immediately, because I didn’t want to risk angering the dragon. I think I can find it again, but it’ll be a long trip. Three days at minimum.
{internal monologue} {satisfied} Perfect. A few days wandering in the forest should discourage him, maybe I can even convince him I didn’t burn any village. {confused} Why would he have been told… {moving on} Doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting him off my trail, and maybe getting to know him in the meantime… {upset} No! Stop that! Bad Tiamat! He’s literally trying to kill you. He is not a prospective mate, he isn’t even another dragon!
{sigh} {wistful} He is handsome, though, especially when the light catches his armor like that… No! Stop!
{out loud} {serious} We should set out soon, then. Do you have enough provisions for the trip?
Good, good. No time to waste, come on.
You’re hunting a dragon. A dragon. Don’t you think it might be wise to move before she- it catches wind of your presence?
Let’s go, then.
{some indicator of a time skip}
{amused} What, don’t tell me you’re getting tired? We’ve only been hiking for a couple hours today, aren’t you supposed to be a big, strong knight?
You could take off the armor, if it’s that hot.
{concession} All right, your decision. And I suppose wearing the armor was helpful when the tangler tree tried to grab you. Fine, we’ll stop for a bit.
How much is left in your waterskin?
Good, good. Mine’s pretty full, I haven’t felt thirsty in a while.
No, we’re definitely going in the right direction. {grasping at straws} I recognize… uh, that rock! Yeah. See how it kinda looks like a bear, if you tilt your head?
Really? Well, I see it. Anyway, I remember seeing that before. We’re about a day’s walk away from the lair, I’m almost certain.
You know, you never asked why I decided to hike in a random direction for three days. {internal monologue} {pleased} I have such a good story for it, too. It’ll leave you crying, and then maybe I can-
{out loud} {taken aback} You do?
What? You’re a royal knight, one of the most honored positions in the land. Why would you feel the need to escape?
{internal monologue} What? What was that? There for a second and then gone, was that… a crack in the charming exterior?
{out loud} No, no, I understand the feeling. I just… didn’t expect it from this quarter. Is something wrong at court? Are you-
{inner monologue} {protective} Oh… Oh his eyes… So sad… What did they do to you, my knight?
{out loud} Please, anything you can-
{confused} What? What’s wrong?
No, I’m not going to shush, we’re talking, and-
{muffled} Mmph! MMMMPH!
{inner monologue} {angy} This presumptuous human dares lay his hand on ME? I don’t care what might be inside him, I’m going to make it outside- {considering} Wait. What’s that noise?
That doesn’t sound like- oh. Oh, those are goblins. And he wanted me to be quiet, and now they heard us, and- oops. Why did I not sense them coming? Goblins wouldn’t know stealth if it snuck up behind them and ripped their legs off, I should’ve heard them from miles away. This doesn’t make any sense… Oh, well. I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Just a few more goblins to kill. If he’d just let go of me… wait, but I don’t want to reveal myself. That makes this much more difficult. Can I kill all these green idiots in my human form? {concerned} Oh, wow, that’s… a worrying amount. Where are they all coming from? All right, I think I can take- wait, what? Human? What are you doing?
{out loud} Why are you getting in front of me? That is far too many goblins for any human to handle, we need to run!
{internal monologue} {flustered} Wha? What does he mean by that? And why does he have to be this handsome as he says it? That’s unfair!
{out loud} No- you can’t-
{internal monologue} {upset} Oh, the stupid, brave, self-sacrificial idiot! He’s gonna get himself killed if I don’t help him- wait, what?
{taken aback} He’s- oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s- wow. I’ve never seen a human fight like that.
{confused} Huh? Why’s he looking back… Is he angry? What?
He’s yelling something… He wants me to run? Wha- {realization} OHHHHH- He thinks I’m in danger, and he’s trying to protect me! He wants to- {touched} aw. That’s the sweetest thing… My heart- {serious} I need to keep this knight alive.
{realization} Oh! I have to pretend to be running, yes. I can’t help him here, much as I want to. Besides, it looks like he has it handled. Those goblins aren’t laying a claw on him, somehow. Guess it was a good decision to wear the armor.
{planning} I’ll come back for him later, and he can be happy that he kept me safe, and maybe I can use that to find out what’s wrong with him, oh, looks like he’s just about finished with those- {shock} wut.
What is that.
That’s a- that’s a freaking hellhound! What in the Low Realms is a hellhound doing here?
{protective} Okay, no, unacceptable. I am not risking my treasure- {concerned} the human. The human! Why did I just think of him as- never mind, time for that later.
{whoosh sfx}
{roar}
{desperate} Oh no, please don’t let me be too late…
{out loud} {furious} Stay away from my human!
{crunch sfx}
{triumph} Hah. That’ll teach you.
Did you get the last of the goblins, sir kni- {wary} What are you doing.
Put that sword down, please, I’m not your enemy.
Okay, no, no, calm down, there’s no need to get worked up.
This isn’t helping anything, can we just talk?
{upset} OW! All right, this has gone far enough
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{sigh} {fading out} What am I going to do with you?
{some indicator of a time skip}
{cordial} Good morning, sir knight. As promised, I brought you to my lair.
Oh, yes, you must be confused.
{whoosh sfx}
There, is that better?
{resigned} Yes. It was me the whole time.
No, it wasn’t. If it had been a game, you would be dead right now. Instead you’re alive, unharmed, even unrestrained, in the middle of my hoard.
Or didn’t you notice?
{amused} Yes, I thought that might get your attention. Being surrounded by enough gold to fill a palace ten times over generally does the trick where humans are involved, or so I am informed.
{annoyed} Fangbane? The sword that slew more of my kind in two years than any other managed in thousands? You want it back?
Tch, no, but I would’ve if I could. That butcher’s blade should’ve been melted down long ago. Alas, it was impervious even to my fire.
I thought that was clear: no, you can’t have it back. You can have another sword, even a magic one, but not that atrocity forged in steel.
{considering} That would seem to be the question of the hour, yes. “What are you doing here.” Well… why don’t you tell me? You were sent to kill me, that much is clear. But much more isn’t. I would like… an explanation.
{annoyed} Oh, come on. You’ve been interacting with me for days now. Do I really seem like the type of person who burns down villages at random? That excuse is worthless… and… {suspicious} I think we both know it. You were sent here for some other reason. What was it? Tell me, before I grow cross.
Oh, I believe they didn’t tell you. But, though I think you like to pretend otherwise, dumb is one thing you are not. You know more than you’re saying, so answer me. Please. Why does the king want me dead?
{stunned} That’s- that’s it? Of all the petty, arrogant, stupid- I’m not even going to bother trying with that. {snort} And humans use dragons as symbols of greed.
{explaining something obvious} Yes. Because I like gold, its color, its luster. And because I enjoy living comfortably. {disgust} Not just… to have more than others.
Even if you don’t want to concede the difference, surely it does not escape you that I earned all of this, not just killed its old owner and stole it.
{offended} Of course I did! The very idea of taking something unearned… ugh.
{considering} You really know so little of my kind…
All of this, though… brings us back to you. You were sent here, presumably because you’re the kingdom’s best knight, the one with the highest chance of victory. You weren’t given any backup because there’s only one Fangbane. And you were fed a lie about me slaughtering innocents to make the job go down easier, but something in you knew that it was a lie. Tell me, am I hitting the mark with these?
So, my question becomes… why didn’t you? You had me at the point of your blade, and with a sword like that and skills like yours, you could’ve done it. If you wanted me dead, I would be, draconic magic and might notwithstanding. Instead, all I have is a scratch on my snout- {venomous} yes, that is the scar on my nose. Injuries do carry over, thank you so much for noticing.
{curious} And now you’re sorry. I don’t think I understand you at all, no matter how hard I try. Please, answer me. I want to.
Wha- {sigh} {exasperated} Well, if you were so certain it was a lie, why come here in the first place? If you felt you were given unjust orders, you could’ve just left the kingdom. Plenty of other places need knights, and there’s always work to be found as a sellsword. You risked much to gain… nothing, as best as I can see.
{dangerous} He… he what?
The king threatened to…
{cold} No. No, that is unacceptable.
No one threatens my human.
Yes, my human. I- {sigh} {warmer} I believe an explanation is in order. You see, I finally figured out what I’ve been feeling these past few days. At first, I thought it might be love, and, well, I suppose it is, of a kind: hoarding instinct. I feel hoarding instinct when I look at you. I saw you for the first time, and something in me just knew. You are the most precious treasure in this entire cavern, and I need to protect and keep you until the end of time, like the work of art you are.
{worried} Ohh, that’s not a good expression. Did I say something wrong? Come on too strong? I promise, living here won’t be bad at all, it’s quite a comfortable lair, whether I’m in human form or dragon. I maintain a good relationship with the villagers, too, so we can even go down to Wylgrith on day trips, as long as you don’t try to leave. You understand the importance of that, I trust.
{calming} No, no, don’t get all worked up. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.
Please, calm down. We’re both rational people, let’s discuss this as such.
{harder} Human, I don’t want to put you to sleep again. Don’t make me.
{pleased} Good, that’s much better. Now, what are your objections?
Mhm, mhm… {logical} Well, in point of fact, no, you don’t have a home anymore. If you go back without proof of my demise, the king will have you executed, will he not?
As I thought. So there’s nowhere else for you to be. As to your next point, of course I won’t keep you as a pet, you’re a sentient human. You have your own free will, thoughts, ideas, desires, the whole package. You would never be a pet. You will be my treasure. Very different thing, and it means I will want to keep you close, keep you safe, and stare at your radiance for as long as draconically possible.
{considering} Well, no, I haven’t heard of this. A living part of a dragon’s hoard? I believe it’s unprecedented, since nothing but gold lasts forever. Nevertheless, we’ll figure something out, we can make it work. And this doesn’t reflect strangely on me, you needn’t worry. I am one of the eldest dragons of this age, the young are used to my… peculiarities by now.
{pleased} Ah, yes, I wondered when we would get to that point. No, as a matter of fact, the king will not be sending other knights, or mages, or armies after me. I will not be killed like that, and you will not be reclaimed by them. And do you wish to know why?
{colder than ice} Because I am going to burn this kingdom to the ground.{amused} Naturally. I could overlook the attempt on my life - it brought me the most precious treasure I have ever known, after all, - I could forgive the use of Fangbane, since now I can make sure it never harms one of my kind again, I could even somewhat tolerate the blatant lies spread about me as flimsy justification. {angry} What I cannot accept, however, is what they have done to you. Threats on your life, on your body, on those you protect, promises of execution, forcing you to stain your soul against your will… no. No one is permitted to harm my human and live. This will, I admit, be something of a first for dragonkind, actually killing humans instead of protecting them is practically unheard of. I may even face repercussions from my kind for this. I find it hard to care, though, these ones are only getting what they deserve, for their actions or their complacence.
Now you’re getting upset again. {soothing} Don’t worry, this isn’t a sign of my outlook changing. I still have no desire to harm humans, and the village is perfectly safe.
We were communicating so well a second ago, if we could return to that, I would be grateful.
I promise you, this shouting and carrying on is nothing but counterproductive.
{tired} Sir knight, if you are not capable of being objective, I will be forced to- oh, forget it.
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{gentle} {slowly fading out} I truly am sorry to do this to you, but I can’t have you fighting me on this. I don’t want you to be upset at me, treasure, so, by the time you wake, the cause of this contention will be gone.
Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s just a simple sleep spell, you’ll wake up comfortable and well-rested.
There. It will all be fixed before you awaken. Don’t worry, my treasure, nothing will ever harm you again.

First of all, let me clear out a few things.

• I'm not a stan of any contestant and I'll try not to have a bias towards anyone while i post this.
• I'm not criticising anyone for their looks or weakness but mostly for their hypocritical actions & words which is negatively impacting the show and majorly spoiling the vibes.
• I know this is gonna be long, i might miss out a few points which you can add in comments , so please bear with me.
• Mods, I'm not breaking any rules or abusing anyone here. Just stating my observations.
• I'll state the good points too which i like about everybody. The negatives & the positives keep changing with every epsisode. So this is limited to what is up so far.
• I'll keep the content limited to what i see in episodes as i don't follow the recent insta controversies much.

Siwet : - Avoids situations & conversations and try to divert any actual blames with some past stories or fake sympathies. - Always up for fighting people in dome and get aggressive which is sooo overdone. - Let Anica speak ffs! - Call yourself a "performer" only when you actually perform ! - "Addy tune baakiyo ko pitch ki toh tujhe nahi liya" Wtf bro ?

• He tries to respect bonds, goes on a limb to save Aniket & Ayushman as much as he could. Did addy dirty a couple of times though.
• Although everybody plans and plots, but plays game on face more than other contestants rather than hiding behind.

Anica : - Stop victimising yourself so much that your emotions start looking washed out. - Grow out of the dependant personality. - "Brooo" and the 🤌🏻🤌🏻 are irritating af.

• Haven't fucked up any task as such.
• She doesn't bitch any wrong things about Lakshay and tries to maintain good relations which i find nice.

Digvijay : - Stop with the hypocrisy! "Mai toh bolunga beech me" & "mere beech me mat bol" is plane stupid. - Although all ex-roadies & TRP contestants are getting majorly favoured, but his looks very clear with the out of nowhere saves & unfair ideal match contender when he was literally standing unsafe. - Stop using your friends (nayera to save, then demotivating her for dome which was logically right but could have been said subtly) (Gullu to write his name and then dumping her) (Akriti to save him and not sending her to den which i really loved tho XD ) - However true it maybe as well know, but calling out Prince to de-justify any other's spot was just purely out of jealousy and spite when he literally tried to do the same in roadies and outside.

• Plays game straight forward out of all the others. No behind the back bullshit.
• Beast performer
• Good at logics and strategies (asking Nayera not to go to the dome which almost eliminated Sachin if not for the twist) ik i contradicted myself but he could have talked it out better.
• Never said anything wrong about his ex.

Unnati : - although almost all the couples are fake and were pre-planned but having a bf outside and still coming to the show is a big NO NO ! - stop being so insecure dragging ishita in everything needs to stop when digvijay & ishita are literally showing no affections to each other (although i get the emotions & bringing exes was the whole point of this but still) - Crybaby over having no friends what?!

• Chose a good partner is all i can say lol.

Addy : - STOP flexing your steroids , losing temper every two seconds. - Grow a spine, "mai kabhi task nahi karunga iske saath" to "meri marzi mai jo karu"

• Might turn out to be a good performer in strength based task, haven't had any yet.
• Having survived so far and would survive further which is expected despite being all this stupidity, I'll count as a plus idk xD

Kashish : - Stop being so horny all the time ffs, it's soo cringe. - This fake sophisticated queen aura needs to be stopped.

• Doesn't fear to call out people . Be it akriti , yuvraj or even his own connection sometimes.
• Good performer so far.
• vamp vibes me likey.

Lakshay : - Same as unnati, having a gf and coming to the show is a NO NO for me. - Again like addy, stop making diggy papa and grow a spine. (Asking for chances to save and then giving them to diggy taking others for a fool) - However bitter your past relation maybe, but don't let Diggy disrespect your ex infront of you or everyone when you say you respect her. - Speak more bruh.

• Most well mannered among any other guy. Calm minded, lets people speak to the point of literally getting walked over.
• Haven't spoke shit about any people in the game.
• Supports his friends.

Ruru : - Unneccessary baseless shouting in last dome was such a turn off exactly like Divyansh.

• Tough mentality.
• Nice vibes , cute.

Sachin : - Literally a dumb character, lost half of the times, fucks up tasks . - cries more than needed ( he was done dirty in the court room tho) - Confused with connections and goes for the ones which makes no sense ( like deekila who was already messed up with aniket & even the personalities are so poles apart) . good that he finally paired up now. - Either defend your connection or just call her out for her fuckup, don't try to play both sides. (court room digvijay i love you drama)

• Genuine overall. Tries to maintain good relations with everyone and does less groupism than other people.
• Sweet & gonna rock in dance & entertainment & town-market wale tasks (if there any) probably.

Akriti : - Most cringe contestant of the whole show. - Majorly favoured by the show be it ideal match or screentime or VDs. - Crybaby max. Cry over sachin, cry over diggy allegations, cry over not being able to go to Loveden, cry over people calling her put and i can go on. - stop speaking in between everybody ffs. (she does it way far more than siwet & diggy) - Stop acting like a queen ffs it's so cringe. - stop with your "Maine aapko favour kiya aap mujhe favour lautao" . mat karo bhai favour fir . - Acts like a mastermind by saving diggy and then crying about it and bringing it up everytime.

• favours friends which is good in splitsvilla ig? (throwing hearts wala task where everybody was trying to show themselves neutral just for screen)
• understands vote in , vote outs and numbers game a little better.

Jashwant : - Stop with haan-ji, correct , ekdum sahi, bilkul, agreed and have your own opinions. - Stop with the cringe romantic one liners . - Speak more bruh (but speak sensible) and speak for yourself. You're not your partners' ambassador.

• Good genes lol
• Laidback, chill.

Nayera : - Stop milking your 2 day fling for such drama and sympathy (although it was need of the show and she finally got over it but still) - Stop crying and showing how you got hurt & ruined and then call it chewing gum and stuff. double standards.

• Goes out on a limb for friends. Values relations over playing double sides.
• Beast performer.

Harsh : - Most cringe contestant after Akriti. Stop with this King-Queen bullshit. - Stop acting like you're playing neutral when you're actually playing both sides (dono side jaake chugli karna) - Stop hyping up yourself as morally correct using feminism and fairness. (court room , tasks and dome votes)

• Somehow gets the best girls wtf

Rushali : - What a poor choice of guy lol - Elegant. Well behaved. Carries herself well. Dresses beautifully and talks graciously.
Shobhika - Again, having a bf and coming to the show ? NOPE. - Cried when called out by yuvraj and legit ran away from the set? - Does nothing and is basically female ayushman lol.

• somehow has the best friends to save her everytime.
• chill, laidback, cute .

Ishita : - Going and fighting to stand between Diggy and unnati in ex-isle was so weird to watch (although she was been told by uorfi)

• Nice personality overall. always respects diggy and never bitches about him.

Yuvraj : - Does he really understand the concept of the show? You have to make a connection to move forward lol.

• Dresses cool. Genuine and great personality and styling sense.
• Most chill and laidback (after lord Rigden ofcourse)

Adit : - Please grow a spine and stop having a herd mentality. - not fit for the politics and the dirties of the show.

• Great vibes, pretty chill, funny.

Khanak: - Stop following the herd mentality again. - Despite even knowing the other connections are fake and theirs are genuine, it somehow seems faker than the others?

• Carries herself well.
• Gives proper sophisticated NRI vibes (unlike kashish & shobhika. idk if they're for sure)

Ameha : - Idk. speak more? hide less. - Cutest of all. Dresses and carries herself well. - Most bearable nepali contestant amongst all. (it has nothing to do with race. it just how she carries herself better than the rest)
Devakaran : - speak more , hide less in crowd maybe ? - Old school gentlemen vibes.
Arbaaz : - Being married and coming to the show? NOPEEEE. - Romance is so dead and fake . cringe.

• No drama . Speaks as much needed and somehow still not hides in the crowd and have a more opinionated stand than adit & devkaran.

Aniket : - Major toxicity alert! Messed up relationship, mean vibes and much controlling. - Maintains calm even when provoked . Tries not to involve people in his messed up connection (his fuckups actually) .
Deekila : - Dependant personality pro max. - Irritating to the ears once she starts shouting. - Forgiving aniket after whatver was revealed to us is the only truth takes heart and if she takes step to fix it , it's heartening to see. (although it's toxic and wrong but still)
Lastly, i feel like this calling out was much needed. Akriti hate on this sub is justified, Digvijay worshipping is going too much and needs to be called out for his hypocrisy but i think is this sub is filled with his insta supporters now, dewangini-divyansh stupidity was needed to be called out for, ayushman and rigden hype is a yesss, nayera is underrated and siwet turns his unneccessary hate into completely neccessary with each episode and instagram oustide the show . Sorry, not sorry. Feel free to add any if i missed or you don't agree to.

Intro: For your distinguished service to the crown, you’ve been assigned the difficult and dangerous job of slaying a dragon purported to have slaughtered a village on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s a job you should be able to handle, and you’re not too scared… now, if only the whole thing felt less wrong…
Summary: Listener meets a new acquaintance who befriends her, and offers to guide her where she needs to go. They face a danger together, and she learns that he is not what he seems.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 3800.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
TWs: Running deception, combat, discussion of mass murder (dragon burning places to the ground), possessiveness, forced sleep
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, he is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by himself.
Author’s Note: And also the flipped version, for the draconic gentlemen out there!
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
F4M version here.
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{internal monologue} {disgusted} Ugh, those damn livestock merchants charge more every time. Gouging bastards, {rationalization} but I do need them to stay silent. If the town finds out how much food I have to purchase every month, it’ll only end badly. Besides, it’s not like even this much bribery makes a dent in my hoard. I should really just be glad I haven’t met any merchants with integrity, that wouldn’t end well. Good thing it’s a vanishingly rare trait these days… {annoyance} wait, no, that’s not a good thing, what am I saying? It’s sad… but it does make my life easier. Well, that’s a hell of a conundrum. {sigh} {bored} Not one I haven’t dealt with before, though. Have this conversation with myself every time. Oh, well. What matters is the food’ll be delivered soon, I don’t have to go into hibernation, and the merchants won’t talk. Anything else I wanted to do before heading home? Hmm… I think I wanted to stop at the spice merchant, see how much- {interest} HELlo. Who is that?
{curiosity} What would a knight be doing here? I mean, I suppose the goblin raids have been getting more brazen, but the town guards seem to have it handled, I haven’t even needed to get involved yet. I guess she could be here about that, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe she’s just passing through? Well, best way to find out is to go talk to-
{quiet} Oh, damn. That’s- oh, damn. Fuck, she’s hot. {forced calm} Okay, composure. You are an all-powerful dragon. You will not be thrown off your game by one mortal, no matter how shiny her armor is. And it’s only her armor you’ll be looking at, right? Right. Ignore that beautiful face, you just need to find out what she’s doing here, not-
{suspicious} Wait. Who’s she talking to? {upset} The spice merchant? And he’s BLUSHING? Uh-uh. No. Not gonna fly.
{out loud} {sickly sweet} Hiiiii, hello! It’s me again, I’m here to pick up some- Oh? Who’s this? A new friend?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a conversation. Please, continue. I can wait.
{cough}
Oh, no, don’t mind me, just looking at… cumin. My, this smells awfully strong.
So sorry to barge in again, uh, I would like to buy these.
Are you leaving? Well, it was lovely to meet you.
{internal monologue} Okay, let me just finish up here, and I can go talk to her.
{pleased} Hah! Look frustrated, spice sleazeball. Serves you right. {confused} Wait, do I know your name? Have I ever asked your name? Eh, doesn’t matter right now, I don’t need to know everyone in the village. {disgust} Especially not someone who flirts with- {confusion} Wait, what am I doing? I don’t have any claim over some random knight, why am I acting like this?
{frustrated noise} Figure out internal dilemma later, find human now. Where’d she go?
Agh! Curse this mortal form’s short legs, I can’t see- wait! Shiny!
{out loud} Hey! Hey! Wait up!
{out of breath} Whew… Thought I was gonna… gonna lose you… for a minute.
Thanks. Only need… a few seconds…
{composed} Hi. I’m Typhon. Sorry to chase after you like that, but I realized I didn’t catch your name?
Oh, that’s a lovely name. It suits you.
{pleased} Oh, flatterer. {internal monologue} She’s smooth, isn’t she? I was expecting all armor, no brain. I understand why the spice merchant was blushing now, I guess. {out loud} I just wanted to ask you… uh, I wanted to ask you what you were doing at the spice merchant’s? Usually passers-through don’t stop there when they can get their salt cheaper elsewhere.
Oh, that’s interesting! I didn’t know you could find that here.
Oh, no, I don’t spend very much time there. I mostly go in, buy what I need for my next few weeks of meals, and leave. Other places to be. More important places.
{laugh} Well. You certainly know the way to a man’s heart. {internal monologue} A knight with both manners and a sense of humor… who’d have thought?
{out loud} Wonderful. So, what brings you to Wylgrith? It’s not a large settlement by any means, and well out of the way of… everything, really. What reason would a mighty royal knight have for stopping by? Were you sent to handle the goblins that-
{stunned} …Say what now?
The dragon? You were sent to kill the DRAGON?
Can you… not?
{off-balance} I mean- uh- Well, I don’t see why you would, do I? After all, the dragon hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, right? And even before that he didn’t harm any humans for decades. He-
I- uhhh… I guess I’m guessing he’s a ‘he?’ I did see him once, flying overhead, though, and he looked like a boy dragon. Kind of stocky.
I… suppose ‘it’ works as well, yeah. {quiet, sad} A little hurtful, though…
{back on track} Nothing, nothing. So, why are you killing the dragon, again? I don’t think… it… has even harmed a human in living memory.
{sputtering} What? No it didn’t!
I- I think I would know if it burned down a village. I mean, this place is still standing, right?
A different- Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t have done anything like-
{quickly} No, no, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve met the thing, right? But it hasn’t burned down this village, so why would-
{tentative} Oh. They said that?
Right to the king?
Right in the middle of court, where everyone could hear it?
{sad} I guess that settles that, then. The dragon needs to die.
{internal monologue} Damn. What a waste of such a beautiful knight. There’s no chance she could possibly beat me on her own, so she’s going to end up- wait, on her own?
{out loud} {confused} And the king sent you? Alone, I mean? No army, or squad of knights, or cadre of mages? Why would he do that?
{awed} Oh. Oh, that is a very magic sword.
Well, no, I haven’t. But- but you can just tell, can’t you? It’s glowing! And it’s covered in some kind of weird letters, those have to be magical, right?
{internal monologue} {hesitant} Okay. That’s somewhat worrying. Even with all the useless sigils and that pointless glow siphoning its energy, I can feel the power rippling off that thing. Where did she ever find- No, that doesn’t matter. Could it level the playing field? Give her a chance? Hard to tell, I think, my senses in this form aren’t as-
{out loud} I’m sorry, what? I was distracted. Uh- it’s a very pretty sword.
{taken aback} That’s- that’s a good name for it. Very dangerous-sounding.
{internal monologue}{stressed} ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FANGBANE? SHE FOUND FANGBANE? HOW IN THE- {forced composure} no, I’m calm, I’m calm, it’s fine. It’s not worrying at all that she has the most dangerous dragon-slaying sword ever forged. Wow, this very quickly went from “I don’t want to fight her, I don’t want to kill her” to “I don’t want to fight her, I don’t want to die.” Okay, time to nip this in the bud.
{out loud} Wow, it’s done that much? I never would’ve guessed that, it looks much too fancy for that. So… you can actually kill the dragon?
{hesitant} You’re right, I suppose. If it burned a village, it does deserve that. Well… {resolve}Do you know how to find its lair?
No, it’s not. If it was, everyone would be constantly in there robbing the hoard, wouldn’t we? Everyone knows that the lair is somewhere on the mountain, but no one knows where.
{triumph} Yes. Except me. And I’ll guide you there.
{reasonable} We already agreed, right? If it burned down a village, killed that many people, it needs to be put down. I want to help with that, and besides, you need someone to take you there. You’ll never find it on your own, so you can’t be too choosy about who you bring, can you?
I like hiking, and the mountain isn’t dangerous if you’ve known what you were doing since you were a child. I found it once, but I ran immediately, because I didn’t want to risk angering the dragon. I think I can find it again, but it’ll be a long trip. Three days at minimum.
{internal monologue} {satisfied} Perfect. A few days wandering in the forest should discourage her, maybe I can even convince her I didn’t burn any village. {confused} Why would she have been told… {moving on} Doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting her off my trail, and maybe getting to know her in the meantime… {upset} No! Stop that! Bad Typhon! She’s literally trying to kill you. She is not a prospective mate, she isn’t even another dragon!
{sigh} {wistful} She is gorgeous, though, especially when the light catches her armor like that… No! Stop!
{out loud} {serious} We should set out soon, then. Do you have enough provisions for the trip?
Good, good. No time to waste, come on.
You’re hunting a dragon. A dragon. Don’t you think it might be wise to move before he- it catches wind of your presence?
Let’s go, then.
{some indicator of a time skip}
{amused} What, don’t tell me you’re getting tired? We’ve only been hiking for a couple hours today, aren’t you supposed to be a big, strong knight?
You could take off the armor, if it’s that hot.
{concession} All right, your decision. And I suppose wearing the armor was helpful when the tangler tree tried to grab you. Fine, we’ll stop for a bit.
How much is left in your waterskin?
Good, good. Mine’s pretty full, I haven’t felt thirsty in a while.
No, we’re definitely going in the right direction. {grasping at straws} I recognize… uh, that rock! Yeah. See how it kinda looks like a bear, if you tilt your head?
Really? Well, I see it. Anyway, I remember seeing that before. We’re about a day’s walk away from the lair, I’m almost certain.
You know, you never asked why I decided to hike in a random direction for three days. {internal monologue} {pleased} I have such a good story for it, too. It’ll leave you crying, and then maybe I can-
{out loud} {taken aback} You do?
What? You’re a royal knight, one of the most honored positions in the land. Why would you feel the need to escape?
{internal monologue} What? What was that? There for a second and then gone, was that… a crack in the charming exterior?
{out loud} No, no, I understand the feeling. I just… didn’t expect it from this quarter. Is something wrong at court? Are you-
{inner monologue} {protective} Oh… Oh her eyes… So sad… What did they do to you, my knight?
{out loud} Please, anything you can-
{confused} What? What’s wrong?
No, I’m not going to shush, we’re talking, and-
{muffled} Mmph! MMMMPH!
{inner monologue} {angy} This presumptuous human dares lay her hand on ME? I don’t care what might be inside her, I’m going to make it outside- {considering} Wait. What’s that noise?
That doesn’t sound like- oh. Oh, those are goblins. And she wanted me to be quiet, and now they heard us, and- oops. Why did I not sense them coming? Goblins wouldn’t know stealth if it snuck up behind them and ripped their legs off, I should’ve heard them from miles away. This doesn’t make any sense… Oh, well. I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Just a few more goblins to kill. If she’d just let go of me… wait, but I don’t want to reveal myself. That makes this much more difficult. Can I kill all these green idiots in my human form? {concerned} Oh, wow, that’s… a worrying amount. Where are they all coming from? All right, I think I can take- wait, what? Human? What are you doing?
{out loud} Why are you getting in front of me? That is far too many goblins for any human to handle, we need to run!
{internal monologue} {flustered} Wha? What does she mean by that? And why does she have to be this lovely as she says it? That’s unfair!
{out loud} No- you can’t-
{internal monologue} {upset} Oh, the stupid, brave, self-sacrificial idiot! She’s gonna get herself killed if I don’t help her- wait, what?
{taken aback} She’s- oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s- wow. I’ve never seen a human fight like that.
{confused} Huh? Why’s she looking back… Is she angry? What?
She’s yelling something… She wants me to run? Wha- {realization} OHHHHH- She thinks I’m in danger, and she’s trying to protect me! She wants to- {touched} aw. That’s the sweetest thing… My heart- {serious} I need to keep this knight alive.
{realization} Oh! I have to pretend to be running, yes. I can’t help her here, much as I want to. Besides, it looks like she has it handled. Those goblins aren’t laying a claw on her, somehow. Guess it was a good decision to wear the armor.
{planning} I’ll come back for her later, and she can be happy that she kept me safe, and maybe I can use that to find out what’s wrong with her, oh, looks like she’s just about finished with those- {shock} wut.
What is that.
That’s a- that’s a freaking hellhound! What in the Low Realms is a hellhound doing here?
{protective} Okay, no, unacceptable. I am not risking my treasure- {concerned} the human. The human! Why did I just think of her as- never mind, time for that later.
{whoosh sfx}
{roar}
{desperate} Oh no, please don’t let me be too late…
{out loud} {furious} Stay away from my human!
{crunch sfx}
{triumph} Hah. That’ll teach you.
Did you get the last of the goblins, lady kni- {wary} What are you doing.
Put that sword down, please, I’m not your enemy.
Okay, no, no, calm down, there’s no need to get worked up.
This isn’t helping anything, can we just talk?
{upset} OW! All right, this has gone far enough
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{sigh} {fading out} What am I going to do with you?
{some indicator of a time skip}
{cordial} Good morning, lady knight. As promised, I brought you to my lair.
Oh, yes, you must be confused.
{whoosh sfx}
There, is that better?
{resigned} Yes. It was me the whole time.
No, it wasn’t. If it had been a game, you would be dead right now. Instead you’re alive, unharmed, even unrestrained, in the middle of my hoard.
Or didn’t you notice?
{amused} Yes, I thought that might get your attention. Being surrounded by enough gold to fill a palace ten times over generally does the trick where humans are involved, or so I am informed.
{annoyed} Fangbane? The sword that slew more of my kind in two years than any other managed in thousands? You want it back?
Tch, no, but I would’ve if I could. That butcher’s blade should’ve been melted down long ago. Alas, it was impervious even to my fire.
I thought that was clear: no, you can’t have it back. You can have another sword, even a magic one, but not that atrocity forged in steel.
{considering} That would seem to be the question of the hour, yes. “What are you doing here.” Well… why don’t you tell me? You were sent to kill me, that much is clear. But much more isn’t. I would like… an explanation.
{annoyed} Oh, come on. You’ve been interacting with me for days now. Do I really seem like the type of person who burns down villages at random? That excuse is worthless… and… {suspicious} I think we both know it. You were sent here for some other reason. What was it? Tell me, before I grow cross.
Oh, I believe they didn’t tell you. But, though I think you like to pretend otherwise, dumb is one thing you are not. You know more than you’re saying, so answer me. Please. Why does the king want me dead?
{stunned} That’s- that’s it? Of all the petty, arrogant, stupid- I’m not even going to bother trying with that. {snort} And humans use dragons as symbols of greed.
{explaining something obvious} Yes. Because I like gold, its color, its luster. And because I enjoy living comfortably. {disgust} Not just… to have more than others.
Even if you don’t want to concede the difference, surely it does not escape you that I earned all of this, not just killed its old owner and stole it.
{offended} Of course I did! The very idea of taking something unearned… ugh.
{considering} You really know so little of my kind…
All of this, though… brings us back to you. You were sent here, presumably because you’re the kingdom’s best knight, the one with the highest chance of victory. You weren’t given any backup because there’s only one Fangbane. And you were fed a lie about me slaughtering innocents to make the job go down easier, but something in you knew that it was a lie. Tell me, am I hitting the mark with these?
So, my question becomes… why didn’t you? You had me at the point of your blade, and with a sword like that and skills like yours, you could’ve done it. If you wanted me dead, I would be, draconic magic and might notwithstanding. Instead, all I have is a scratch on my snout- {venomous} yes, that is the scar on my nose. Injuries do carry over, thank you so much for noticing.
{curious} And now you’re sorry. I don’t think I understand you at all, no matter how hard I try. Please, answer me. I want to.
Wha- {sigh} {exasperated} Well, if you were so certain it was a lie, why come here in the first place? If you felt you were given unjust orders, you could’ve just left the kingdom. Plenty of other places need knights, and there’s always work to be found as a sellsword. You risked much to gain… nothing, as best as I can see.
{dangerous} He… he what?
The king threatened to…
{cold} No. No, that is unacceptable.
No one threatens my human.
Yes, my human. I- {sigh} {warmer} I believe an explanation is in order. You see, I finally figured out what I’ve been feeling these past few days. At first, I thought it might be love, and, well, I suppose it is, of a kind: hoarding instinct. I feel hoarding instinct when I look at you. I saw you for the first time, and something in me just knew. You are the most precious treasure in this entire cavern, and I need to protect and keep you until the end of time, like the work of art you are.
{worried} Ohh, that’s not a good expression. Did I say something wrong? Come on too strong? I promise, living here won’t be bad at all, it’s quite a comfortable lair, whether I’m in human form or dragon. I maintain a good relationship with the villagers, too, so we can even go down to Wylgrith on day trips, as long as you don’t try to leave. You understand the importance of that, I trust.
{calming} No, no, don’t get all worked up. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.
Please, calm down. We’re both rational people, let’s discuss this as such.
{harder} Human, I don’t want to put you to sleep again. Don’t make me.
{pleased} Good, that’s much better. Now, what are your objections?
Mhm, mhm… {logical} Well, in point of fact, no, you don’t have a home anymore. If you go back without proof of my demise, the king will have you executed, will he not?
As I thought. So there’s nowhere else for you to be. As to your next point, of course I won’t keep you as a pet, you’re a sentient human. You have your own free will, thoughts, ideas, desires, the whole package. You would never be a pet. You will be my treasure. Very different thing, and it means I will want to keep you close, keep you safe, and stare at your radiance for as long as draconically possible.
{considering} Well, no, I haven’t heard of this. A living part of a dragon’s hoard? I believe it’s unprecedented, since nothing but gold lasts forever. Nevertheless, we’ll figure something out, we can make it work. And this doesn’t reflect strangely on me, you needn’t worry. I am one of the eldest dragons of this age, the young are used to my… peculiarities by now.
{pleased} Ah, yes, I wondered when we would get to that point. No, as a matter of fact, the king will not be sending other knights, or mages, or armies after me. I will not be killed like that, and you will not be reclaimed by them. And do you wish to know why?
{colder than ice} Because I am going to burn this kingdom to the ground. {amused} Naturally. I could overlook the attempt on my life - it brought me the most precious treasure I have ever known, after all, - I could forgive the use of Fangbane, since now I can make sure it never harms one of my kind again, I could even somewhat tolerate the blatant lies spread about me as flimsy justification. {angry} What I cannot accept, however, is what they have done to you. Threats on your life, on your body, on those you protect, promises of execution, forcing you to stain your soul against your will… no. No one is permitted to harm my human and live. This will, I admit, be something of a first for dragonkind, actually killing humans instead of protecting them is practically unheard of. I may even face repercussions from my kind for this. I find it hard to care, though, these ones are only getting what they deserve, for their actions or their complacence.
Now you’re getting upset again. {soothing} Don’t worry, this isn’t a sign of my outlook changing. I still have no desire to harm humans, and the village is perfectly safe.
We were communicating so well a second ago, if we could return to that, I would be grateful.
I promise you, this shouting and carrying on is nothing but counterproductive.
{tired} Lady knight, if you are not capable of being objective, I will be forced to- oh, forget it.
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{gentle} {slowly fading out} I truly am sorry to do this to you, but I can’t have you fighting me on this. I don’t want you to be upset at me, treasure, so, by the time you wake, the cause of this contention will be gone.
Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s just a simple sleep spell, you’ll wake up comfortable and well-rested.
There. It will all be fixed before you awaken. Don’t worry, my treasure, nothing will ever harm you again.

Intro: For your distinguished service to the crown, you’ve been assigned the difficult and dangerous job of slaying a dragon purported to have slaughtered a village on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s a job you should be able to handle, and you’re not too scared… now, if only the whole thing felt less wrong…
Summary: Listener meets a new acquaintance who befriends him, and offers to guide him where he needs to go. They face a danger together, and he learns that she is not what she seems.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 3800.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
TWs: Running deception, combat, discussion of mass murder (dragon burning places to the ground), possessiveness, forced sleep
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, she is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by herself.
Author’s Note: God, this took way too long to write. A couple months, if you count when I had the idea and when I wrote the first few sentences. Well, it’s here now, and I hope it’s not too disappointing. Prequel series go!
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
M4F Version here.
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{internal monologue} {disgusted} Ugh, those damn livestock merchants charge more every time. Gouging bastards, {rationalization} but I do need them to stay silent. If the town finds out how much food I have to purchase every month, it’ll only end badly. Besides, it’s not like even this much bribery makes a dent in my hoard. I should really just be glad I haven’t met any merchants with integrity, that wouldn’t end well. Good thing it’s a vanishingly rare trait these days… {annoyance} wait, no, that’s not a good thing, what am I saying? It’s sad… but it does make my life easier. Well, that’s a hell of a conundrum. {sigh} {bored} Not one I haven’t dealt with before, though. Have this conversation with myself every time. Oh, well. What matters is the food’ll be delivered soon, I don’t have to go into hibernation, and the merchants won’t talk. Anything else I wanted to do before heading home? Hmm… I think I wanted to stop at the spice merchant, see how much- {interest} HELlo. Who is that?
{curiosity} What would a knight be doing here? I mean, I suppose the goblin raids have been getting more brazen, but the town guards seem to have it handled, I haven’t even needed to get involved yet. I guess he could be here about that, but it doesn’t feel right. Maybe he’s just passing through? Well, best way to find out is to go talk to-
{quiet} Oh, damn. That’s- oh, damn. Fuck, he’s hot. {forced calm} Okay, composure. You are an all-powerful dragon. You will not be thrown off your game by one mortal, no matter how shiny his armor is. And it’s only his armor you’ll be looking at, right? Right. Ignore that beautiful face, you just need to find out what he’s doing here, not-
{suspicious} Wait. Who’s he talking to? {upset} The spice merchant? And she’s BLUSHING? Uh-uh. No. Not gonna fly.
{out loud} {sickly sweet} Hiiiii, hello! It’s me again, I’m here to pick up some- Oh? Who’s this? A new friend?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a conversation. Please, continue. I can wait.
{cough}
Oh, no, don’t mind me, just looking at… cumin. My, this smells awfully strong.
So sorry to barge in again, uh, I would like to buy these.
Are you leaving? Well, it was lovely to meet you.
{internal monologue} Okay, let me just finish up here, and I can go talk to him.
{pleased} Hah! Look frustrated, spice skank. Serves you right. {confused} Wait, do I know your name? Have I ever asked your name? Eh, doesn’t matter right now, I don’t need to know everyone in the village. {disgust} Especially not someone who flirts with- {confusion} Wait, what am I doing? I don’t have any claim over some random knight, why am I acting like this?
{frustrated noise} Figure out internal dilemma later, find human now. Where’d he go?
Agh! Curse this mortal form’s short legs, I can’t see- wait! Shiny!
{out loud} Hey! Hey! Wait up!
{out of breath} Whew… Thought I was gonna… gonna lose you… for a minute.
Thanks. Only need… a few seconds…
{composed} Hi. I’m Tiamat*.* Sorry to chase after you like that, but I realized I didn’t catch your name?
Oh, that’s a lovely name. It suits you.
{pleased} Oh, flatterer. {internal monologue} He’s smooth, isn’t he? I was expecting all muscle, no brain. I understand why the spice merchant was blushing now, I guess. {out loud} I just wanted to ask you… uh, I wanted to ask you what you were doing at the spice merchant’s? Usually passers-through don’t stop there when they can get their salt cheaper elsewhere.
Oh, that’s interesting! I didn’t know you could find that here.
Oh, no, I don’t spend very much time there. I mostly go in, buy what I need for my next few weeks of meals, and leave. Other places to be. More important places.
{laugh} Well. You certainly know the way to a woman’s heart. {internal monologue} A knight with both manners and a sense of humor… who’d have thought?
{out loud} Wonderful. So, what brings you to Wylgrith? It’s not a large settlement by any means, and well out of the way of… everything, really. What reason would a mighty royal knight have for stopping by? Were you sent to handle the goblins that-
{stunned} …Say what now?
The dragon? You were sent to kill the DRAGON?
Can you… not?
{off-balance} I mean- uh- Well, I don’t see why you would, do I? After all, the dragon hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, right? And even before that she didn’t harm any humans for decades. She-
I- uhhh… I guess I’m guessing she’s a ‘she?’ I did see her once, flying overhead, though, and she looked like a girl dragon. Kind of slender.
I… suppose ‘it’ works as well, yeah. {quiet, sad} A little hurtful, though…
{back on track} Nothing, nothing. So, why are you killing the dragon, again? I don’t think… it… has even harmed a human in living memory.
{sputtering} What? No it didn’t!
I- I think I would know if it burned down a village. I mean, this place is still standing, right?
A different- Well, I’m sure she wouldn’t have done anything like-
{quickly} No, no, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve met the thing, right? But it hasn’t burned down this village, so why would-
{tentative} Oh. They said that?
Right to the king?
Right in the middle of court, where everyone could hear it?
{sad} I guess that settles that, then. The dragon needs to die.
{internal monologue} Damn. What a waste of such a handsome knight. There’s no chance he could possibly beat me on his own, so he’s going to end up- wait, on his own?
{out loud} {confused} And the king sent you? Alone, I mean? No army, or squad of knights, or cadre of mages? Why would he do that?
{awed} Oh. Oh, that is a very magic sword.
Well, no, I haven’t. But- but you can just tell, can’t you? It’s glowing! And it’s covered in some kind of weird letters, those have to be magical, right?
{internal monologue} {hesitant} Okay. That’s somewhat worrying. Even with all the useless sigils and that pointless glow siphoning its energy, I can feel the power rippling off that thing. Where did he ever find- No, that doesn’t matter. Could it level the playing field? Give him a chance? Hard to tell, I think, my senses in this form aren’t as-
{out loud} I’m sorry, what? I was distracted. Uh- it’s a very pretty sword.
{taken aback} That’s- that’s a good name for it. Very dangerous-sounding.
{internal monologue}{stressed} ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FANGBANE? HE FOUND FANGBANE? HOW IN THE- {forced composure} no, I’m calm, I’m calm, it’s fine. It’s not worrying at all that he has the most dangerous dragon-slaying sword ever forged. Wow, this very quickly went from “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to kill him” to “I don’t want to fight him, I don’t want to die.” Okay, time to nip this in the bud.
{out loud} Wow, it’s done that much? I never would’ve guessed that, it looks much too fancy for that. So… you can actually kill the dragon?
{hesitant} You’re right, I suppose. If it burned a village, it does deserve that. Well… *{resolve}*Do you know how to find its lair?
No, it’s not. If it was, everyone would be constantly in there robbing the hoard, wouldn’t we? Everyone knows that the lair is somewhere on the mountain, but no one knows where.
{triumph} Yes. Except me. And I’ll guide you there.
{reasonable} We already agreed, right? If it burned down a village, killed that many people, it needs to be put down. I want to help with that, and besides, you need someone to take you there. You’ll never find it on your own, so you can’t be too choosy about who you bring, can you?
I like hiking, and the mountain isn’t dangerous if you’ve known what you were doing since you were a child. I found it once, but I ran immediately, because I didn’t want to risk angering the dragon. I think I can find it again, but it’ll be a long trip. Three days at minimum.
{internal monologue} {satisfied} Perfect. A few days wandering in the forest should discourage him, maybe I can even convince him I didn’t burn any village. {confused} Why would he have been told… {moving on} Doesn’t matter right now. What matters is getting him off my trail, and maybe getting to know him in the meantime… {upset} No! Stop that! Bad Tiamat! He’s literally trying to kill you. He is not a prospective mate, he isn’t even another dragon!
{sigh} {wistful} He is handsome, though, especially when the light catches his armor like that… No! Stop!
{out loud} {serious} We should set out soon, then. Do you have enough provisions for the trip?
Good, good. No time to waste, come on.
You’re hunting a dragon. A dragon. Don’t you think it might be wise to move before she- it catches wind of your presence?
Let’s go, then.
{some indicator of a time skip}
{amused} What, don’t tell me you’re getting tired? We’ve only been hiking for a couple hours today, aren’t you supposed to be a big, strong knight?
You could take off the armor, if it’s that hot.
{concession} All right, your decision. And I suppose wearing the armor was helpful when the tangler tree tried to grab you. Fine, we’ll stop for a bit.
How much is left in your waterskin?
Good, good. Mine’s pretty full, I haven’t felt thirsty in a while.
No, we’re definitely going in the right direction. {grasping at straws} I recognize… uh, that rock! Yeah. See how it kinda looks like a bear, if you tilt your head?
Really? Well, I see it. Anyway, I remember seeing that before. We’re about a day’s walk away from the lair, I’m almost certain.
You know, you never asked why I decided to hike in a random direction for three days. {internal monologue} {pleased} I have such a good story for it, too. It’ll leave you crying, and then maybe I can-
{out loud} {taken aback} You do?
What? You’re a royal knight, one of the most honored positions in the land. Why would you feel the need to escape?
{internal monologue} What? What was that? There for a second and then gone, was that… a crack in the charming exterior?
{out loud} No, no, I understand the feeling. I just… didn’t expect it from this quarter. Is something wrong at court? Are you-
{inner monologue} {protective} Oh… Oh his eyes… So sad… What did they do to you, my knight?
{out loud} Please, anything you can-
{confused} What? What’s wrong?
No, I’m not going to shush, we’re talking, and-
{muffled} Mmph! MMMMPH!
{inner monologue} {angy} This presumptuous human dares lay his hand on ME? I don’t care what might be inside him, I’m going to make it outside- {considering} Wait. What’s that noise?
That doesn’t sound like- oh. Oh, those are goblins. And he wanted me to be quiet, and now they heard us, and- oops. Why did I not sense them coming? Goblins wouldn’t know stealth if it snuck up behind them and ripped their legs off, I should’ve heard them from miles away. This doesn’t make any sense… Oh, well. I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme of things. Just a few more goblins to kill. If he’d just let go of me… wait, but I don’t want to reveal myself. That makes this much more difficult. Can I kill all these green idiots in my human form? {concerned} Oh, wow, that’s… a worrying amount. Where are they all coming from? All right, I think I can take- wait, what? Human? What are you doing?
{out loud} Why are you getting in front of me? That is far too many goblins for any human to handle, we need to run!
{internal monologue} {flustered} Wha? What does he mean by that? And why does he have to be this handsome as he says it? That’s unfair!
{out loud} No- you can’t-
{internal monologue} {upset} Oh, the stupid, brave, self-sacrificial idiot! He’s gonna get himself killed if I don’t help him- wait, what?
{taken aback} He’s- oh, wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s- wow. I’ve never seen a human fight like that.
{confused} Huh? Why’s he looking back… Is he angry? What?
He’s yelling something… He wants me to run? Wha- {realization} OHHHHH- He thinks I’m in danger, and he’s trying to protect me! He wants to- {touched} aw. That’s the sweetest thing… My heart- {serious} I need to keep this knight alive.
{realization} Oh! I have to pretend to be running, yes. I can’t help him here, much as I want to. Besides, it looks like he has it handled. Those goblins aren’t laying a claw on him, somehow. Guess it was a good decision to wear the armor.
{planning} I’ll come back for him later, and he can be happy that he kept me safe, and maybe I can use that to find out what’s wrong with him, oh, looks like he’s just about finished with those- {shock} wut.
What is that.
That’s a- that’s a freaking hellhound! What in the Low Realms is a hellhound doing here?
{protective} Okay, no, unacceptable. I am not risking my treasure- {concerned} the human. The human! Why did I just think of him as- never mind, time for that later.
{whoosh sfx}
{roar}
{desperate} Oh no, please don’t let me be too late…
{out loud} {furious} Stay away from my human!
{crunch sfx}
{triumph} Hah. That’ll teach you.
Did you get the last of the goblins, sir kni- {wary} What are you doing.
Put that sword down, please, I’m not your enemy.
Okay, no, no, calm down, there’s no need to get worked up.
This isn’t helping anything, can we just talk?
{upset} OW! All right, this has gone far enough
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{sigh} {fading out} What am I going to do with you?
{some indicator of a time skip}
{cordial} Good morning, sir knight. As promised, I brought you to my lair.
Oh, yes, you must be confused.
{whoosh sfx}
There, is that better?
{resigned} Yes. It was me the whole time.
No, it wasn’t. If it had been a game, you would be dead right now. Instead you’re alive, unharmed, even unrestrained, in the middle of my hoard.
Or didn’t you notice?
{amused} Yes, I thought that might get your attention. Being surrounded by enough gold to fill a palace ten times over generally does the trick where humans are involved, or so I am informed.
{annoyed} Fangbane? The sword that slew more of my kind in two years than any other managed in thousands? You want it back?
Tch, no, but I would’ve if I could. That butcher’s blade should’ve been melted down long ago. Alas, it was impervious even to my fire.
I thought that was clear: no, you can’t have it back. You can have another sword, even a magic one, but not that atrocity forged in steel.
{considering} That would seem to be the question of the hour, yes. “What are you doing here.” Well… why don’t you tell me? You were sent to kill me, that much is clear. But much more isn’t. I would like… an explanation.
{annoyed} Oh, come on. You’ve been interacting with me for days now. Do I really seem like the type of person who burns down villages at random? That excuse is worthless… and… {suspicious} I think we both know it. You were sent here for some other reason. What was it? Tell me, before I grow cross.
Oh, I believe they didn’t tell you. But, though I think you like to pretend otherwise, dumb is one thing you are not. You know more than you’re saying, so answer me. Please. Why does the king want me dead?
{stunned} That’s- that’s it? Of all the petty, arrogant, stupid- I’m not even going to bother trying with that. {snort} And humans use dragons as symbols of greed.
{explaining something obvious} Yes. Because I like gold, its color, its luster. And because I enjoy living comfortably. {disgust} Not just… to have more than others.
Even if you don’t want to concede the difference, surely it does not escape you that I earned all of this, not just killed its old owner and stole it.
{offended} Of course I did! The very idea of taking something unearned… ugh.
{considering} You really know so little of my kind…
All of this, though… brings us back to you. You were sent here, presumably because you’re the kingdom’s best knight, the one with the highest chance of victory. You weren’t given any backup because there’s only one Fangbane. And you were fed a lie about me slaughtering innocents to make the job go down easier, but something in you knew that it was a lie. Tell me, am I hitting the mark with these?
So, my question becomes… why didn’t you? You had me at the point of your blade, and with a sword like that and skills like yours, you could’ve done it. If you wanted me dead, I would be, draconic magic and might notwithstanding. Instead, all I have is a scratch on my snout- {venomous} yes, that is the scar on my nose. Injuries do carry over, thank you so much for noticing.
{curious} And now you’re sorry. I don’t think I understand you at all, no matter how hard I try. Please, answer me. I want to.
Wha- {sigh} {exasperated} Well, if you were so certain it was a lie, why come here in the first place? If you felt you were given unjust orders, you could’ve just left the kingdom. Plenty of other places need knights, and there’s always work to be found as a sellsword. You risked much to gain… nothing, as best as I can see.
{dangerous} He… he what?
The king threatened to…
{cold} No. No, that is unacceptable.
No one threatens my human.
Yes, my human. I- {sigh} {warmer} I believe an explanation is in order. You see, I finally figured out what I’ve been feeling these past few days. At first, I thought it might be love, and, well, I suppose it is, of a kind: hoarding instinct. I feel hoarding instinct when I look at you. I saw you for the first time, and something in me just knew. You are the most precious treasure in this entire cavern, and I need to protect and keep you until the end of time, like the work of art you are.
{worried} Ohh, that’s not a good expression. Did I say something wrong? Come on too strong? I promise, living here won’t be bad at all, it’s quite a comfortable lair, whether I’m in human form or dragon. I maintain a good relationship with the villagers, too, so we can even go down to Wylgrith on day trips, as long as you don’t try to leave. You understand the importance of that, I trust.
{calming} No, no, don’t get all worked up. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.
Please, calm down. We’re both rational people, let’s discuss this as such.
{harder} Human, I don’t want to put you to sleep again. Don’t make me.
{pleased} Good, that’s much better. Now, what are your objections?
Mhm, mhm… {logical} Well, in point of fact, no, you don’t have a home anymore. If you go back without proof of my demise, the king will have you executed, will he not?
As I thought. So there’s nowhere else for you to be. As to your next point, of course I won’t keep you as a pet, you’re a sentient human. You have your own free will, thoughts, ideas, desires, the whole package. You would never be a pet. You will be my treasure. Very different thing, and it means I will want to keep you close, keep you safe, and stare at your radiance for as long as draconically possible.
{considering} Well, no, I haven’t heard of this. A living part of a dragon’s hoard? I believe it’s unprecedented, since nothing but gold lasts forever. Nevertheless, we’ll figure something out, we can make it work. And this doesn’t reflect strangely on me, you needn’t worry. I am one of the eldest dragons of this age, the young are used to my… peculiarities by now.
{pleased} Ah, yes, I wondered when we would get to that point. No, as a matter of fact, the king will not be sending other knights, or mages, or armies after me. I will not be killed like that, and you will not be reclaimed by them. And do you wish to know why?
{colder than ice} Because I am going to burn this kingdom to the ground.{amused} Naturally. I could overlook the attempt on my life - it brought me the most precious treasure I have ever known, after all, - I could forgive the use of Fangbane, since now I can make sure it never harms one of my kind again, I could even somewhat tolerate the blatant lies spread about me as flimsy justification. {angry} What I cannot accept, however, is what they have done to you. Threats on your life, on your body, on those you protect, promises of execution, forcing you to stain your soul against your will… no. No one is permitted to harm my human and live. This will, I admit, be something of a first for dragonkind, actually killing humans instead of protecting them is practically unheard of. I may even face repercussions from my kind for this. I find it hard to care, though, these ones are only getting what they deserve, for their actions or their complacence.
Now you’re getting upset again. {soothing} Don’t worry, this isn’t a sign of my outlook changing. I still have no desire to harm humans, and the village is perfectly safe.
We were communicating so well a second ago, if we could return to that, I would be grateful.
I promise you, this shouting and carrying on is nothing but counterproductive.
{tired} Sir knight, if you are not capable of being objective, I will be forced to- oh, forget it.
{magically resonant} Sleep.
{gentle} {slowly fading out} I truly am sorry to do this to you, but I can’t have you fighting me on this. I don’t want you to be upset at me, treasure, so, by the time you wake, the cause of this contention will be gone.
Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s just a simple sleep spell, you’ll wake up comfortable and well-rested.
There. It will all be fixed before you awaken. Don’t worry, my treasure, nothing will ever harm you again.

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Discord + Wiki] ; [Patreon]
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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Do you think shifters conserve mass between forms?
The physics of MoL is far more believable than most fantasy, and I love it for that, so I was thinking about how mass conversion could work with shifters.

The Problem:

If you don't conserve mass, then you can easily generate unlimited energy. Imagine a water wheel or some type of rotating turbine. A shifter sits on it, and when they're at the bottom, they shift into a small cat or bird, barely affecting the wheel. When they reach the top, they shift into a fat dude, causing the wheel to speed up. Bam, perpetual energy.

Solutions:

You can say that shifters must use mana and put energy into the shift that is equivalent to what they get out of the mass change. This has the problem that the amount of energy is not constant. You can theoretically make the wheel as large as you want, kilometres high, generating enormous amounts of energy per shift.
Therefore, for this option to work, the mana required to shift would either:

• Depend on the height difference from the last shift.
• Or always cost the largest amount of energy possible to recoup from gravity. Meaning the total gravitational potential energy of the mass difference. This kind of works, but that's potentially a lot of mana. Also, gravity isn't the only issue with creating mass, so this still has issues. Remember, Ilsa mentioned that her gold creation spells always pulled gold from elsewhere, they didn't actually create material out of nothing.

One alternate idea is transmutation, or a transfer of mass. Perhaps if there's a difference in mass between forms, the mass is actually added/removed from the environment. AiDirt/Rock etc. It could be pulled in by the magic of shifting, and converted to the required mass to make up the new form. This still would require a lot of mana, because I can't imagine pulling in and converting mass to be cheap.
Another option is that mass is always conserved. This is how I initially imagined it with wolves and whatnot, but I'm not sure how it would work for cats and birds. Perhaps shifting into a bird makes a bird that is as heavy as a human? With dense matter? But then how then can it fly? Or, maybe cats and birds in MoL are a lot larger than on Earth. Maybe when he talks about cat shifters they are actually big ass pumas or something, and mass is indeed conserved? :)
Curious to hear other thoughts. And yes, I know it's ultimately 'magic', but it's fun to try to make it believable.

Isn’t the lack of dash-spamming, it’s that it’s a lesser mode of mobility.
I played the first Hades for the first time just last week, clocked about 40-ish hours before trying Hades 2 just last night. I, naturally, just got done spam-dashing for hours as Zagreus, and it took me some time to adjust to Mel’s dash-sprint instead.
I’ve only made it to the Fields of Mourning thus far, but I feel like I’ve adjusted to the sprint now. I use it intentionally, as opposed to “accidentally” sprinting because my brain was still in dash-spam mode. I can see the benefit to the various boons that buff sprint. I don’t hate it like I did when I first started.
But.
Something I do hate about it? It doesn’t work with a lot of the arena layouts.
In Hades 1, when Zag was dashing, he could often dash through/over traps or otherwise-impassable gaps. Mel can’t, and I often find myself sprinting like the wind, feeling good about (un)life - only to stop cold because I clipped some rando rock in the Crossroads, or the corner of a pool in Oceanus. I don’t want to talk about how many times I’ve been running from Hecate’s swipes only to smash Mel’s beautiful face directly into a tree.
This is made worse by the fact that most levels are small, full of holes/gaps, cluttered with traps, or all three. I’m already often slipping out of sprint to get off an attack chain or Omega move - it feels like it breaks my flow when my sprint is stopped cold by the insurmountable wall of a small knee-deep pond.
I know that in the first game, Zag’s dash would sometimes extend slightly to get him over gaps he couldn’t cross otherwise. Imo, sprint would feel better if it did something similar - if it allowed you to phase over gaps or around (non-damaging) obstacles. It could be framed as Mel leaping ovearound whatever’s in her path, she’d still be open and vulnerable to attack, same as with Sprint as it is now, but with a better sense of flow and speed, a bit more ease-of-use. I think it also makes more sense if this game’s style is supposed to be more about long-range hit-and-run tactics: you can leap over arena gaps to put an extra barrier between yourself and melee enemies, but it’s not just dropping sprint or making it a mimic of Zag’s infinite I-frames dash spamming.
Thoughts?

The Big List

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MISC

X-Men Trilogy HD [X-Men, X2 & The Last Stand] $8 (MA)

🦝

$5 4K UHD

John Wick 1-3 (iTunes)

🦝

$4 4K UHD

Big Lebowski, The (iTunes/ports)
Black Panther (MA + 200 points)
Captain Marvel (MA + 200 points)
Despicable Me [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Expendables 4 (Vudu or iTunes)
Frozen 2 [2019] (MA + 200 points)
Gone Girl [2014] (iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy [2014] (MA + 200 points)
Halloween [2018] (MA)
Jungleland [2020] (iTunes)
Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (MA + 200 points)
Scream [2022] (Vudu or iTunes)
Tangled [2010] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Titanic [1997] (iTunes)

🦝

$5 HD

Adventures Of Ichabod & Mr. Toad, The [1949] (MA + 150 points)
Banshee season 2 (iTunes)
Fear The Walking Dead season 2 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 4 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 5 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 6 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 7 (Vudu) or all 5 for $20
Five Nights At Freddy's [2023] (MA)
Groundhog Day [1993] + Stripes [1981] double feature (MA)
Hunchback Of Notre Dame, The [1996] (MA + 150 points)
Hunchback Of Notre Dame 2, The [2002] (MA + 150 points)
Lady & The Tramp II: Scamps Adventure [2001] (MA + 150 points)
Rob Zombie Trilogy [House Of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects [Unrated] & 3 From Hell [Unrated] (MA)
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3,4 & 5 (Vudu)
Veep season 5 (iTunes)
Veep season 6 (iTunes)

🦝

$4 HD

300 Spartans, The (MA)
BFG, The [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Color Purple, The [2023] (MA)
Fox & The Hound 2, The [2006] (MA + 150 points)

🦝

$3️⃣ Movies

$3 4K UHD

Angel Has Fallen (Vudu or iTunes)
Baywatch (Vudu)
Bourne Identity, The [2002] (iTunes/ports)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu)
Doctor Strange (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Dredd (Vudu)
Frozen 2 [2019] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Guardians Of The Galaxy [2014] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Logan Lucky [2017] (iTunes/ports)
mother! [2017] (iTunes)
Prometheus [2012] (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2018] (Vudu)
Sicario (Vudu)
Spy Who Dumped Me, The (Vudu or iTunes)
Top Gun (iTunes)

🦝

$3 HD

Avatar: The Way Of Water (MA + 150 points)
Baby Driver [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Bloodshot [2020] (MA + Sony points)
Bridge Of Spies [2015] (MA + 150 points)
Call Me By Your Name (MA + Sony points)
Candyman: Day Of The Dead (Vudu or Google Play)
Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite (MA)
Disneynature: Bears [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Divergent Series Trilogy, The [Divergent, Insurgent & Allegiant] (Vudu or Google Play)
Fruitvale Station (Vudu)
Glass [2019] (MA)
Goosebumps [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Grand Budapest Hotel, The (MA or Google Play/ports)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Hocus Pocus (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Hundred Foot Journey, The [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Into The Woods [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (Vudu)
Killing Gunther (Vudu)
Lion King, The [1994] (MA + 150 points)
Little House On The Prairie season 5 (Vudu)
Midsommar [A24] (Vudu or Google Play)
Mindcage (Vudu or iTunes)
Money Monster [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Nurse Jackie season 7 (Vudu)
Orange Is The New Black season 1 (Vudu)
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (iTunes/ports)
Pete's Dragon [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Planes: Fire & Rescue [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Pride + Prejudice + Zombies [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Public Enemies [2009] (MA)
Punisher, The [2004] (Vudu or Google Play)
Queen Of Katwe [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Robin Hood [1973] (MA + 150 points)
Scoob! [2020] (MA)
Secret Life Of Pets 2, The [2019] (MA)
Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs [1937] (MA + 150 points)
Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (MA + Sony points)
Secret: Dare To Dream, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Super Mario Bros. Movie, The [2023] (MA)
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail (Vudu or Google Play)
Us [2019] (MA)
Vanishing, The [2019] (Vudu or Google Play)
Venture Bros: Radiant Is The Blood Of The Baboon Heart [2023] (MA)
Walking Dead season 9, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Walking Dead season 10, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Way Way Back, The [2013] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Whiplash [2014] (MA + Sony points)

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$2 CODES

💲2 HD

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (iTunes 4K)
31 [2016] (Vudu)
3 From Hell [Unrated] (Vudu 4K or iTunes 4K)
About Last Night [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (MA)
Action Point [2018] (Vudu)
Admission [2013] (iTunes/ports)
Adventures Of Tintin, The (Vudu or iTunes)
After Earth [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Age Of Adaline, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Alien Covenant (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Allied [2016] (iTunes 4K)
Aloha [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha & Omega 2: A Howl-lday Adventure (Vudu)
Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
American Girl: Isabelle Dances Into The Spotlight (MA)
American Hustle [2013] (MA + Sony points)
American Reunion [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Vudu or iTunes)
Annie [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Arrival [2016] (Vudu)
Assassin's Creed (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Atomic Blonde (MA)
Avengers: Infinity War (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Battleship [2012] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Baywatch (iTunes 4K)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (MA + 150 points/iTunes option is expired)
Beirut [2018] (MA)
Ben-Hur [2016] (Vudu)
Best Man Holiday, The [2013] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Blackhat [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Bohemian Rhapsody (MA or Google Play/ports)
Book Club [2018] (iTunes 4K)
Boss Baby, The [2017] (MA)
Bourne Legacy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Boy, The [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Boyhood [2014] (iTunes)
Boy Next Door, The [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Breakthrough [2019] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Bridesmaids [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Broken City [2013] (MA)
Bumblebee (Vudu)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Captain America: Civil War (MA only/no points or iTunes option)
Captain Phillips [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (MA)
Case For Christ, The [2017] (MA)
Choice, The [2016] (Vudu or iTunes)
Company Of Heroes [2013] (MA)
Contraband (iTunes/ports)
Curse Of Chucky [2013] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Daddy's Home (iTunes 4K)
Dark Tower, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Dead Again In Tombstone [2017] (MA)
Dead In Tombstone [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Dead Man Down [2013] (MA)
Deepwater Horizon (iTunes 4K)
Despicable Me 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Devil's Due [2014] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Django Unchained (Vudu)
Downton Abbey [2019] (MA)
Dracula Untold (iTunes/ports 4K)
Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse (iTunes/ports)
Dredd [2012] (Vudu)
Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas [2000] (MA)
Duff, The (iTunes or Google Play)
Emoji Movie, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Ender's Game (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Epic [2013] (MA)
Equalizer, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Equalizer 2, The (MA + Sony points)
Escape From Planet Earth (Vudu)
Ex Machina (Vudu)
Exodus: Gods & Kings (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Fate Of The Furious [F8] [Theatrical] (MA 4K)
Fences [2016] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Fifty Shades Darker [2017] [Unrated] (MA 4K)
Fifty Shades Of Grey (iTunes/ports 4K)
Finding Dory (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Flight [2012] (Vudu or iTunes)
Fortress [2021] (Vudu or Google Play)
Frozen [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K+ 150 points)
Fury [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Get Out [2017] (MA)
Ghost Team One [2013] (Vudu or iTunes)
Gifted [2017] (MA or Google Play/ports, iTunes option is expired)
God Bless The Broken Road (Vudu or Google Play)
Gods Not Dead 2 [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Gods Of Egypt (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Grey, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2 (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Guilt Trip, The [2012] (Vudu)
Hacksaw Ridge (Vudu or Google Play/iTunes option expired)
Hail, Caesar [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Halloween [2018] (MA)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [Unrated] (iTunes)
Hateful Eight, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Heat, The [2013] [Theatrical] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu or Google Play)
Hercules [2014] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Hitman's Bodyguard, The (Vudu or Google Play/iTunes option is expired)
Home [2015] [DreamWorks] (MA)
Homefront [2013] (iTunes/ports)
Honey 2 [2011] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (MA)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (Vudu)
Instant Family (iTunes 4K)
Internship, The [2013] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Interstellar (Vudu or Google Play)
Invisible Man, The [1933] (MA)
It Follows [2015] (Vudu)
Jackass 3 [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Jack Reacher (Vudu)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Vudu)
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (iTunes 4K)
Jason Bourne [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
John Henry [2020] (Vudu)
John Wick (iTunes 4K)
John Wick 1 & 2 (Vudu or Google Play)
John Wick: Chapter 2 (iTunes 4K)
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (iTunes 4K) or all 3 for $5
Joy [2015] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Jurassic World (iTunes/ports 4K)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (MA)
Justice [2017] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Kick-Ass 2 [2013] (MA)
Kidnap [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Killer Elite (iTunes/ports)
Kingsman: The Secret Service (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Last Knights [2015] (Vudu)
Last Vegas [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Last Witch Hunter, The [2015] (iTunes 4K or Google Play)
Let's Be Cops [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Life Of Pi (iTunes/ports 4K)
Lockout [2012] [Unrated] (MA + Sony points)
Lone Survivor [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Longest Ride, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lorax, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Love, Simon [2018] (MA)
Lucy [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Maleficent (iTunes/ports 4K + 150 points)
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again [2018] (MA)
Marauders (Vudu)
Martian, The [2015] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Mary Poppins [1964] (MA + 150 points)
Maze Runner, The [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Men In Black 3 (MA + Sony points)
MI-5 [2015] (Vudu)
Mindgamers [2017] (MA)
Miracles From Heaven (MA + Sony points)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (iTunes 4K)
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Monuments Men, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Mortal Instruments: The City Of Bones, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Mother's Day [2016] (MA)
Murder On The Orient Express [2017] (MA or Google Play/ports)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (iTunes/ports)
Neighbors [2014] (iTunes/ports)
Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Noah [2014] (Vudu)
Non-Stop [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Norm Of The North (Vudu or iTunes)
Now You See Me 2 (iTunes 4K)
Nut Job, The [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Oblivion [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Ouija [2014] (MA)
Overlord [2018] (Vudu)
Oz: The Great & Powerful (MA + 100 points)
Paddington (Vudu)
Paranormal Activity [2009] [Theatrical] (iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 2 [Unrated Director's Cut] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 3 [Extended] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 4 [Unrated] (iTunes)
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones [Theatrical] (iTunes)
Passengers [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (MA or Google Play/ports)
Pet Sematary [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Pitch Perfect (iTunes/ports 4K)
Predator, The [2018] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Prometheus (MA or Google Play/ports, no iTunes option)
Proud Mary [2018] (MA)
Quiet Place, A [2018] (iTunes 4K)
Ralph Breaks The Internet (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Red Dawn [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Redemption [2013] (Vudu)
Replicas [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Riddick [Unrated] (MA)
Rings [2017] (Vudu)
R.I.P.D. Rest In Peace Department (iTunes/ports 4K)
Rise Of The Guardians [2011] (MA)
Risen [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Robin Hood [2018] (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Rock Dog (iTunes)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (iTunes/ports 4K + 150 points)
Roman J. Israel, Esq [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Rush [2013] (MA) PENDING
Saban's Power Rangers (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Savages [2012] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (iTunes/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA 4K or iTunes/ports 4K)
Seventh Son [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Sex Tape [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Show Dogs [2018] (MA)
Silver Linings Playbook (Vudu or Google Play)
Sing [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Sinister (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Sisters [2015] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Skyscraper [2018] (MA)
Sparkle [2012] (MA)
Spider-Man: Homecoming [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: No Way Home [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Split [2017] (MA)
Spy [2015] [Unrated] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Star Trek [2009] (iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Step Up All In [2014] (Vudu)
Step Up Revolution (Vudu or Google Play)
Straight Outta Compton [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Super 8 (Vudu)
Super Buddies (MA without points)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2014] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Terminator: Genisys (iTunes 4K)
Top Gun (Vudu)
Total Recall [2012] [Theatrical & Director's Cut] (MA + Sony points)
Tower Heist [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Tremors: A Cold Day In Hell (MA)
True Blood season 4 (iTunes)
True Grit [2010] (Vudu or iTunes)
Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (iTunes 4K)
Underworld: Blood Wars (MA + Sony points)
Vendetta [2016] (Vudu)
Venom [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Walk Among The Tombstones, A (iTunes/ports)
Walking With Dinosaurs: The Movie (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
War Room [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Why Him? [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Wolf Of Wall Street, The (Vudu)
Woman In Black, The [2012] (MA)
Wonder [2017] (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Wonder Park [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Woodlawn [2015] (MA or iTunes/ports)
X-Men: Apocalypse (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Your Highness [2011] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Zootopia (MA without points)

🦝

💲2 SD

127 Hours (iTunes/ports)
12 Rounds [2009] [Extreme Cut] (iTunes/ports)
Aliens In The Attic (iTunes/ports)
Amelia (iTunes/ports)
Beasts Of The Southern Wild (iTunes/ports)
Black Swan (iTunes/ports)
Date Night [Unrated Extended Edition] (iTunes/ports)
Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who! (ITunes/ports)
Jumper [2008] (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson double feature [Lightning Thief & Sea of Monsters] (MA)
Ramona & Beezus (iTunes/ports)
Street Kings (iTunes/ports)
Three Stooges: The Movie, The [2012] (iTunes/ports)

🦝

$1 Codes

$1 HD

Alex Cross (Vudu)
Bad Grandpa [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Bad Moms (iTunes/ports)
Battleship [2012] (MA)
Big Hero 6 (Google Play/ports)
Book Club (Vudu)
Bourne Legacy, The (MA)
Bring It On: Worldwide Cheersmack [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Deadpool (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Despicable Me 3 (MA)
Divergent (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Duff, The [2015] (Vudu)
Everest [2015] (MA)
Expendables 2, The (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Expendables 3, The [Theatrical] (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Fast & Furious 6, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fast & The Furious, The [2001] (MA)
Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, The (MA)
Fast Five [Extended] (MA)
Fate Of The Furious, The [8] [Theatrical or Extended] (MA)
Frozen: Sing Along Edition (MA without points)
Furious 7 [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Ghost In The Shell [2017] (Vudu)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (Vudu)
Girls Trip [2017] (MA)
Hillsong: Let Hope Rise [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hunger Games, The [2012] (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (Vudu)
Huntsman: Winter's War, The [2016] [Extended] (MA)
Identity Thief [2013] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
I, Frankenstein (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (Vudu)
Jason Bourne (MA)
Leprechaun: Origins (Vudu)
Les Misérables [2012] (MA)
Minions [2015] (MA)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Vudu) or both for $2.50
Mummy, The [2017] (MA)
Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (MA)
Now You See Me [Extended] (iTunes)
Oblivion [2013] (MA)
Parental Guidance [2012] (MA)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Pitch Perfect (MA)
Quiet Place, A (Vudu)
Ride Along 2 (MA)
RIPD Rest In Peace Department (MA)
Safe [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA)
Selma (iTunes)
Shack, The [2017] (iTunes)
Skyfall (Vudu or Google Play)
Snitch (iTunes 4K or Vudu/Google Play HD)
Star Trek: Beyond (Vudu)
Ted [Unrated] (MA) or [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Terminator: Genisys (Vudu)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (iTunes 4K)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Vudu)
Trolls [2017] (MA)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (iTunes 4K)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (iTunes)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Vudu or Google Play)
Unbroken [2014] (MA)
Warm Bodies (Vudu)
What To Expect When You're Expecting (iTunes)
World War Z (Vudu)
Zootopia (Google Play/ports)

🦝

💲1 SD

21 Jump Street (MA + Sony points)
Act Of Valor (iTunes)
After Earth [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Amazing Spider-Man 2, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
American Hustle [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Bad Boys For Life [2020] (MA + Sony points)
Big Mommas Like Father, Like Son (iTunes/ports)
Captain Phillips (MA + Sony points)
Charlie's Angels [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Concussion [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Dirty 30 (Vudu)
Dog's Way Home, A [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Evil Dead [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Forbidden Kingdom, The (iTunes)
Glee: The Concert (iTunes/ports)
Goosebumps 2 [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Hangover, The [2009] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Haywire (iTunes)
Heat, The [2013] (iTunes/ports SD)
Here Comes The Boom [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Hotel Transylvania 3 (MA + Sony points)
Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (iTunes/ports)
Immortals [2011] (iTunes)
Insidious: Chapter 3 (MA + Sony points)
Insidious: The Last Key (MA + Sony points)
Insidious: The Red Door [2023] (MA + Sony points)
Journey To Bethlehem [2023] (MA + Sony points)
Jumanji: The Next Level (MA + Sony points)
Knight & Day (iTunes/ports)
Men In Black III [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Mirror Mirror [2012] (iTunes)
Mortal Instruments: The City Of Bones (MA + Sony points)
Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (iTunes/ports)
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Overcomer [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Parker [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (iTunes/ports)
Perfect Guy, The [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (iTunes SD only)
Peter Rabbit [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Predators [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Public Enemies [2009] (iTunes/ports)
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2010] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Safe Haven (iTunes)
Scoob [2020] (MA)
Shallows, The [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Sparkle [2012] (MA)
Spider-Man: Far From Home [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: No Way Home [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Star, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Taken [2009] [Extended Cut] (iTunes/ports)
Thousand Words, A [2012] (Vudu)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Tough Love (Vudu)
Underworld: Awakening (MA + Sony points)
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (MA + Sony points)
Vow, The [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Zombieland: Double Tap (MA + Sony points)

🦝

Super Cheap SD & HD Codes

All movies are 3 for $1 each/must spend at least $1 on total order.
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu SD only)
Croods, The (iTunes/ports SD)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (iTunes/ports SD)
Expendables 2, The (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Expendables 3, The [Unrated] (iTunes HD only)
Fast Five [Extended] (iTunes/ports HD)
Hunger Games, The (Vudu SD or iTunes SD only)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (Vudu HD only)
John Wick 3 (Google Play HD only)
Jurassic World (MA ports HD)
Life Of Pi (iTunes/ports SD)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu SD only)
Now You See Me 2 (Vudu SD only)
Star Trek: Into Darkness (Vudu HD only)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Google Play/ports HD)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Vudu HD only)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Vudu SD only)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Vudu SD only)

If you prefer using Discord you can add me there! Username is rainbowsuplex (ALSO MAKE SURE YOU READ ALL OF MY POST BEFORE DMING ME SO YOU HAVE ALL INFORMATION ON HAND THANK YOU >:))Heyo, thanks for reading :) my name's William, I'm 18 years old, Swedish, I play the bass, and listen to rock and metal for the most part. Lately, I've been feeling very alone, in a bad and isolating way, not the good de-stressing, recharging your social battery kind of way. I haven't really had a connection with someone the way you have with a close friend in a really long time, and I'm longing for that quite a bit.
I'm open to VCing whenever, if that's how you prefer to communicate! I know some people have it hard with VCs, and some people prefer it over texting, so just let me know how you feel about it to make it easier for us both :) thank you!
Some bands that I like are Jefferson Airplane, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Budgie, Rainbow, Van Halen, Iron Maiden, Dio, Helloween, and Mob Rules!
My sleep schedule is kinda fucked up so no matter your time zone I'll probably be awake :v but I believe my maximum time zone difference would be 9 hours (sorry!). When it comes to video games some of my favorites are The Last of Us, the Ratchet & Clank franchise, Terraria, Bioshock 1 & 2, Dead Space, just to name a few :)
I also have autism, so just blame whatever confusing habits I have on that :v I honestly don't know much about how it affects me, since I can't imagine a life without it, so I can't really imagine what a life with it would be like. It's one of those things I realize when I'm actually in situations that make it more obvious.
I would describe myself as calm, caring, welcoming, a good listener, willing to give advice if wanted, but I can also just sit back and listen if that's what you'd like. I also like to make people laugh, very original I know. I just feel that laughter is a good sign that someone's having a good time, and as an avid overthinker, that confirmation is quite important to me :v
And also, I'm a good listener, and my goal is to seem approachable and just someone who you can come to whenever you need someone to talk to. You absolutely don't have to, but I just want to be available 😌
But hey, you made it to the end, thank you for reading! If you made it this far, tell me your favorite fruit.
I'm not a girl by the way, I just have long hair due to the whole rock & metal thing lmao. IfSo if I seem of any interest to you, feel free to send me a DM here or on Discord :)

I always brew my 2nd cup of coffee for the day when I'm at work (around noon or 1 p.m.), and it usually perks me up nicely. But today I just felt *hot* and feverish afterwards, and my body didn't like it. It was like my body was telling me "please don't make me work even harder to have to stay hydrated right now". Stupid cough. 🙄🙄
Obviously the temperature aspect can come into play (this was a hot cup rather than iced or cold brew). But upon doing a quick Google search it seems that caffeine itself also plays a part in raising your temp, regardless of the temp of the beverage. So... tomorrow & for the next couple days, I might grab an iced chai latte or something and forgo my usual afternoon cup of coffee.
How [if at all] have you noticed coffee consumption to affect you when your immune system is working harder to fight something off?

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj7h8/comment/l52vtd5/?context=3
*****

The Palatini of Orias journey took nine grueling days of traveling down the peaks of Torness Mountain Range. But at long last, they reached the Coralus Valley. While the temperature was far below what the half-elf usually enjoyed, it was far better than the mountain peaks.
They traveled through the valley, trying to avoid the multiple hostiles, villages, and anyone else who could tip off their enemies. They had to take every tedious path imaginable to prevent possible contact with the enemy.
Staring at their destination, Fraeya Holiadon could not decide if she should be thrilled or distorted at the sight. "Is this the place?"
"I believe so," Raegel said. "The pattern of the structures matches my drawings and the map. See the remains of the two walls?"
"And the stone rings that direct out," Henness said.
"So, you have read the legends," Raegel said, surprised by the centurion's knowledge of the temple.
"I always prepare before a mission," Henness said. "Those half rings, are they stone or artificial?"
"They look like stone, so I think they used the ground stone and molded them," Raegel said.
Fraeya Holiadon carefully stared at the temple ruins. All she could see was the destruction—fractured stone buildings, walls, weed-infested stone pavement, and so on. While there were still many stone structures, most were destroyed. She could only see death, not the walls her father could see.
She turned to ask her father what he was talking about but saw Centurion Fionntan Henness pointing toward the walls and other details.
Watching the two communicate about the features of the temple, she realized how out of depth she was. Her father spent generations studying ruins like this, while Henness is an experienced soldier. For Fraeya, this was her first mission outside the academy supervision, and she realized how different the world was compared to the classroom.
As the two spoke, her elf ears overheard Henness mention that he saw green webbing. As the two men debated what creatures could create that webbing, she already knew based on the type of webbing. Being an excellent student, she recalled the topic regarding intelligent monsters. While many species produce a web, only one creates a thick green. Goblins.
"Father," Fraeya said. "I think goblins made those webbings."
"How could you possibly know that?" Henness asked, unconvinced by the theory. "It would easily be Rorgo or a Kipt."
Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out her notepad. She flipped through the pages and responded, "Kipt is more silk-like, while Rorgo is more for capturing prey. Both are white. Only Goblins make green."
"She is correct," Raegel said. "The green should have been a given."
"Alright," Henness said. "That complicates things."
"How so?" Fraeya asked. "The academy said they are weak. Adventures and local militia kill them constantly, so your men should be able to wipe them out with your weaponry easily."
"Goblins are weak in small numbers, but they are a nightmare in large numbers," Henness said. "And depending on the horde, they adapt to who their enemies are quickly. For all I know, we could be fighting a nest that is as heavily armed as we are."
Fraeya looked back toward the next with much confusion. She knew about the goblin's ability to adapt. However, her teachers never stated how formal they could be. Only treating them as barbarians is a functional civilization. "I would think the academy would mention something like that."
"If you are going to be out here in the world, you must understand that life is very different from the classroom," Henness said. "The difference between someone who lives behind a desk versus someone on the ground. Now, I need to get my forces ready for our attack."
Once the centurion left, Fraeya looked at her father. "I am starting to get the impression that my schooling wasn't as truthful as I once thought."
Raegel chuckled at the statement from his daughter. "That is what I said when I left my academy in Thali'ean," he said with a short chuckle before he spoke. "Henness was correct; there is a large gap between the classroom and out here in the world."
"I see. So, now, what do we do?"
"We wait for the legionaries to form a plan. Because time is not on our side, he will want you to assist with your magic. Do you think you can assist? If you are uncomfortable, tell me now, and you can stay here where it is safe."
Feeling a nervous chill creeping down her spine, she looked back toward the temple and breathed heavily. "I admit, I am scared, but I didn't come here to babysit the camp. I want to help."
She felt her father pat her on the back, feeling a sense of pride from his touch.
"That's my daughter."
After an hour of planning, the Palatini of Orias began their assault on the temple ruins. The plan was for a primary team to assault the temple directly, triggering a response from the goblin. The second team would remain on the high ground and pick off the horde.
Fraeya ended up on the right side of the group team. To her surprise, many soldiers were thrilled that they were finally getting into a fight. She wondered, after two weeks of crawling over the mountains and hiding like rodents, they finally got a chance to be soldiers.
The primary assault group she was attached to advance toward the temple once the signal was given. Passing one of the few remaining wall structures, they entered the temple ground. As they swept through the old temple's front sections, the goblins huddled around a fire pit, noticed them, and prepared for battle.
Three legionaries known as circilmen, from the palatini positioned themselves to engage the incoming enemy. Carrying a ranged projectile weapon known as a circiletum, they hid behind the front shield men and fired upon the incoming enemy. They picked off two of the three goblins as the last one quickly crawled under a piece of rubble for cover. Then, the palatini heard a painful screech from the hiding goblin.
Fraeya couldn't help herself but stand there noticing the two fresh corpses. She then watched as two of the swordsmen rushed to the hiding goblin. They reached in and pulled the little green monster out of its hiding spot.
Two swordsmen grabbed the goblin and dragged it from its cover, it jumped on top of one of the legionaries, stabbing its blade into its armor, unable to break through. With a short struggle, the legionary could slam the goblin onto the ground. The other legionary stomped on the body before thrusting his gladius into the monster.
Hearing another screech, Fraeya looked down the stone path and saw goblins popping out of every crack and corner.
One of the legionary officers ordered the unit to reform. The swordsmen took the front with their large scutum shields, creating a two-line protective shield wall. Behind them were the circilmen, taking cover behind the scutum.
The group of goblins charged forward. As they approached, the legionaries saw the raw, starving rage within their dark green eyes—a thirst for primal instincts of food and lust and nothing else.
"Fraeya, is it?"
Hearing her name, she turned to the commanding offer of this group.
"When I give the order, shake the ground." The lower-ranking Centurian said.
Fraeya acknowledged the order as she understood what he was planning.
Turning back to the incoming horde, she watched the three circilmen open fire. The circiletums cut down the forward group of goblins. The ones behind that row suddenly stopped from the shock but were cut down by a second volley.
"Now. Before they scatter."
Fraeya placed her hands together and chanted. The two tiny mana crystals on her gloves blew green as she felt a raw energy channel through her body. A moment later, that glow expanded to the point that it encompassed her hand.
Channeling the mana needed for the spell, Fraeya placed her left hand on the ground.
The stone ground beneath them shook the stone terra, stunning the goblins. Right down the center, cracks formed, and the terra broke apart. The road slightly uplifted into an elevation, forcing the goblins to focus on what was happening.
With the ground disinformed, it prevented the enemy from scattering in an organized manner, allowing the circilmen to fire another volley.
The front scutum marched forward and started cutting down anything that moved. The other line split into two groups. They were marching down the street in an almost synchronized manner. They held their shields high toward the ruins, protecting the circilmen from any incoming projectile. Arrows and magic.
Fireballs flew and impacted the scutum infantry, protecting the flanks. Some of the shields glowed from the impact. The flames engulfed one of the men's arms, and he started to scream from the pain.
The circilmen returned fire, and a firefight began. The sound of their weapons crackled throughout the surrounding area, amplified by the ruined walls. Above the sound of battle were the voices and cries of the wounded—the circiletum that were deployed on the ridge above rained fire from the suppressive team.
The Palatini of Orias pushed deeper into the temple ground as the battle continued. That was until the town began to be consumed by this thick haze, providing cover for the goblins, and restricting visibility for the Lat forces. While not educated to the standards of civilized races, Goblins were not stupid.
"It is a haze," Fraeya said. "They must have a mage somewhere within the nest."
Centurion Fionntan Henness approached their forces and began to regroup. "Can you counter it?"
"No," Fraeya replied. "I never studied Aeromancy magic."
"Nebulo," Henness said. "Our armor and weapons will be less effective."
Fraeya understood his concern. From what she recalled from her classes; goblins have sharp senses. Based on the density of the haze, it was clear even to her that they were planning to force them to huddle and expose themselves to be surrounded, making their ranged weapons worthless.
"We will just have to work around it," Raegel said.
As Frayea prepared herself, she felt a strange feeling throughout her body, almost like some field affecting her body. She saw a female legionary in light armor and a cloak checking over the wounded. One of the few women in the legionary, she could tell she was the unit healer specializing in Sanamancy magic. The women must have placed a barrier to help protect against any poisonous gasses lying within the haze.
Orias advanced through the haze; this forced the soldiers to clump together for safety. As the assault group progressed, they were hit non-stop by the goblin's arrow fire, spears, and fire shots from sling guns. Most of these projectiles caused minor damage thanks to the heavy armor legionary’s wear. However, this did not remove the damage as it brought discomfort and limited their progression to a crawl.
Barely noticing two figures on top of a rooftop through the haze, who were firing slingshots toward their position, she pointed her hand toward a piece of rubble and, with her magic, lifted the debris and projected it through the haze. The rubble temporarily formed a gap in the haze that increased the line-of-sight.
She then called out to the fire battle mage within the unit. The mage realized what was happening and fired multiple firebolts toward the tower. Five bolts impacted the building from different directions, engulfing the structure in flames. Everyone could hear the faint sound of goblins screaming as the building burnt.
With the tower collapsing suddenly, arrows rained through the thick haze, hitting the legionaries in retaliation. While most arrows bounced off the armor, some found exposed spots. Two more legionaries fell to their knees, with one vomiting blood, forcing the healed to focus on the sick over protecting the group.
It became clear that the goblins changed their tactics and poisoned their arrows. While worthless against armor, they could still puncture the underneath clothing and scrap any exposed part of the skin.
A luperca legionnaire picked up an old broken wagon and used it as a shield to protect. With the cover, the lower ranking commanders directed the circilmen to pick off any goblins that peaked above the surface.
Combined with the haze and change of tactic, this formed a strange stalemate between the two sides. The Orias was forced into a defensive; they were well equipped to deal with any goblins who dared to get within melee range. However, the goblins had surrounded and had the range advance as they could see through the haze, allowing them to snipe any legionary who adventured far from the group.
Fraeya saw a blob of acid impact a swordsmen's scutum. The scutum started being consumed by the spell, slowly falling into pieces. The man screamed as he felt his arm burn, desperately untieing the strappings to ditch the heavy shield.
"We need to kill their shaman before we are picked off," Raegel said.
"I agreed," Henness replied. "As long as this haze is here, my suppressive team is useless."
"If I recall," Fraeya said. "A Shaman should be nearby. Someone close enough to maintain this haze and give commands but not put themselves in danger."
"Then I know where it should be," Henness said. "Let's go half-elf."
She felt her ears perk up once she realized the centurion was talking about her. She looked toward her father and saw the 'it is time to prove yourself' look. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself, she gathered behind Henness and six of his men.
The assault unit left the main one and adventurer deeper into the temple grounds. As they reached what remained of an intersection, goblins stormed out of the stone buildings to ambush the legionaries.
With their disciplined reaction, the legionaries immediately adjusted their formation and sliced down the attackers. Henness stood at the center, holding his sword out as flames wrapped around the blade.
As the goblins attacked the swordsmen, Fraeya broke apart the ground on the right flank, knocking many goblins. The one that fell, she entangled them by summoning vines - which trapped the goblins and pulled them into the ground until their death or burial.
She then turned and lifted parts of the ground on the left flank, blocking some of the goblins. This prevented the legionaries from being encircled.
"Reform," Henness ordered. "We need to advance quickly. Stay close."
Once the path was clear, the unit moved toward the building where the goblins had fortified. Henness moved in front of her to provide protection. He held up his shield, deflecting arrows.
"Stay behind me," Henness said.
While not being a military woman, Fraeya quickly learned to accept the chain of command on this quest. On the battlefield, her father told her to listen to Henness as he was a man of war. She realized that the structure and safety of the city and the academy are vastly different in the countryside. Getting behind him, she followed him close behind as he pushed forward, arrows striking his shield, allowing her to get in range for her spell.
The legionaries stopped engaging the incoming goblins, allowing their centurion and the young mage to get closer. Henness reached around his scutum and pressed the amulet attached to the outer shell's center. Once pressed, the large shield briefly glowed before darkening, returning to the standard red with white lining design.
Up ahead, Fraeya saw in full display of the nest. Spikes, fortification, and green webbing filled the gaps between the ruined structures. Skeletons and decomposing bodies littered the areas of their past victims. The goblins were standing in the bunker sections, preparing for battle. With how heavily guarded it was, she concluded that this must be where the Shaman was.
"Fraeya, now!"
Fraeya moved around the man to cast her spell. With a quick chant, her hands glowed green again. As she channeled her mana, an acid attack impacted Henness' scutum. While the added hardening enchantment from the amulet increased the scutum resistance, the acid slowly ate through the large shield.
Stepping from cover, Fraeya aimed her hands at the nest. The ground trembled a little as the front of the nest collapsed on itself from the summoned sinkhole.
With the front entrance open, Fraeya saw the Shaman in plain view—a female, being one of the few within a goblin nest. The Shama looked scared as she looked around where to hide.
Fraeya did not give it time as she cast a spell that created a spike from the ground below the Shaman and pierced straight through the vicious monster, killing it instantly.
As the Shaman staff hit the ground, the haze started to disappear.
Believing that her work was complete after killing the goblin leader, her ears quickly heard footsteps surrounding them.
Noticing that the goblins were about to swarm their position, she took cover behind Henness to protect his rear. She took a deep breath as she felt exhausted from the battle and cast so many spells quickly.
Starting at five goblins that emerged from the ruins, Fraeya watched as they charged toward them. Before they got close, however, each one was sniped from the ridge-side suppressive team.
With a moment of confusion, she stared toward the cliffside and saw the suppressive team. Now that the haze is disappearing, they could snipe off the remaining goblins from their elevation position.
"Good job, half-elf," Henness said, slowly stepping back with a shield aimed at the flames, guiding Fraeya back.
"Stop calling me half-elf," Fraeya yelled. "I am out here risking my life with the rest of you, and don't give me that war is a male-domain thing! I am willing to see this through. Most of my kind would stay home and let you fight, so why do you keep degrading me?"
"Because ideals get people killed," Fionntan Henness replied. "Out here, you must earn that respect within the brotherhood of warriors, especially if you are used to living inside the city walls. People with a self-protected mindset usually end up as food for the worms or get my soldiers killed because they do not understand what it takes to survive."
The centurion then turned to the destroyed nest. "I will say, though, what you did here. It is a good first step for a half-elf." He then turned to give her an approving smile.
Not understanding the humor from the Lat, Fraeya accepted it. From her experience, Lats always had a strange sense of humor. Insults are sometimes seen as compliments while praising could be considered offensive. Saying one thing but meaning another is a common trait for them.
With the remaining palatini coming after clearing the remaining goblins, Fraeya saw her father. She rushed over and hugged him and teared up.
"You did good, my dear," Raegel said as he patted her.
"Is this really what it is like out here?" Fraeya asked.
"Sadly, it is," Fraeya replied. "That is why I never brought you around on my digs."
"I am sorry to interrupt," Henness said. "We are on borrowed time, so can we get at it?"
Fraeya looked toward the centurion with frustration as she wanted a moment with her father. After taking a deep breath, she realized that he was right.
After finishing her hug, she brushed off the goblin's blood and clothing.
"Then we better begin searching for what we came for," Raegel said as he reached for his bag. She watched as he pulled out a perfectly smoothed, pure black orb. By itself, it didn't look impressive. She had seen hundreds of these orbs at the academy or the many workshops within the city.
Raegel held the orb in one hand and activated it with his mana. The orb glowed light blue and fainted, barely emitting any energy. He then took it against the mountain and began scanning.
Not wanting to miss anything, Fraeya quickly pulled out her journal, skipping past all her notes until she reached a blank page. She then began documenting everything her father did, taking in every world and detail.
The palatini began walking through the ruins, heading toward the mountain wall. Raegel explained in his research that the temple extended inside the mountain, like a dwarf borrian. While others who came before him came up with this theory, they were still looking for a way to detect the hidden door markings and find it.
Raegel moved down the side of the mountain, holding the orb high.
"Why are you not using a door-detecting amulet?" Fraeya asked.
"Because people have been using that for generations and found nothing here," Raegel replied.
After a reasonable amount of time when nothing had happened, Fraeya began to wonder if everything was for nothing. Seeing the lack of progress, Henness inquired if the orb failed to work. As Raegel replied, the orb suddenly blimped orange for a moment.
Witnessing the sudden change, the group backed away as they did not know how to respond to the sudden glow.
Noticing a renewed excitement from her father, she followed him closely as they investigated the mountainside.
As they searched, her father noticed that the faint blue glow from the orb had changed to orange. It then disappeared and slowly appeared, like it was slowly pulsing. When they continued walking forward, the pulsing light increased in speed.
"I think it is directing us, father," Fraeya said.
"Possible," Raegel said. "There must be some type of link."
The palatini followed the direction the orb gave. As the group approached a mountainside wall, the pulse frequency increased until it looked like the orb glowed a solid color.
"I think we found it," Raegel said. He lifted the orb toward the wall.
As the orb drew closer to the mountainside, these blue lines appeared all over the rocky wall. The rough chips of rock melted away and turned smooth as the light traveled through the grooves, slowly creating what looked like a giant door of light.
Once the bright lights finished designing a massive door, Fraeya placed her hand on the wall, shocked at how the natural bulky rocks turned into a marble-like wall.
"I would step aside, Fraeya," Raegel said.
As Fraeya stepped backward, she watched her father open the door with a magical spell. Like most magical doors, the door brightened as she expected it would fold into the mountain. To her surprise, the door didn't fold away but melted into the ground.
"What happened to the door?" Fraeya asked.
Raegal placed his hand on his chin. "It seemed that the wall was not solid but some liquid matter. These people are impressive."
The wall began to shake as dusk from the cracks spread through the area.
A large opening formed as the door walls folded into the mountainside. A passage leading deeper into the mountain. The walls were black and smooth, while the floor had these textiles in perfect order, leading deeper into the mountain.
"This has to be a dwarven design," Fraeya commented. "Only they could do something like this."
"I'm not sure," Raegel said. "This is not a design I have seen from dwarves."
Fraeya understood what her father meant. Dwarven doors into the mountains took a lot of work to find. While there were many designs of such hidden doors and the means to open them, it was doubtful that anyone had ever seen a secret magical door like this before.
Raegel started to walk into the chamber but was suddenly stopped by Henness. Stating that he wanted his men to go first to ensure no trap, three legionaries moved through the large chamber. Once they gave the clear, the rest of the group entered.
While walking, Fraeya stayed close to her father as she took notes. The soldiers ahead of them set up torches to add more light. To her surprise, the walls and floor were smooth. The air was stale, probably trapped within this chamber for centuries.
As they walked inside, the room lit up. Everyone stopped as they looked toward the end of the hall. The chamber was empty, with only a strange-looking platform at the very end. Noticing that the orb was pointing toward the platform, they approached it.
"Is this it?" Henness asked. "It does not look that impressive."
"Not everything is based on size, centurion," Raegel replied, to which his daughter giggled.
Fraeya then analyzed the platform. It was smooth, almost marble-like. However, she doubted whether it was marble. The fundamental details that she noticed were a strange-looking blue crystal at the center of the platform and another in a hole on the side.
"This is interesting," Fraeya commented. The design looked surprisingly simple. This orb must act as some command orb for this device. They must be communicating in some manner."
"Assuming that the legend was true, the orcs were the ones who summoned the lats from Altaerrie," Fraeya said. "Maybe, when this place was lost of that time, it was never turned off. Being left in a state of slumber, waiting to be reawakened."
"Possible. It would explain why the orb directed us here. The orange pulse is now pointing down at a rapid pace."
"I think it goes into that hole, father," Fraeya said. "From what I can tell, the crystal in there connects to the one on top of the platform."
"I see," Raegel said. "The pulse is pointing toward it too. I recommend that everyone step back."
"Be careful, father," Fraeya said.
Stepping back from the platform, Fraeya watched as her father placed the orb into the hole. This was the moment her father had been talking about for decades, and it had finally come true. The Bridge between two worlds had finally been discovered.
As Raegel placed the orb into the platform, it glowed orange in a solid state, no longer pulsing. The blue crystal in the middle of the platform slowly lit up, like it was waking up after a long sleep.
The air suddenly chilled as the air flowed toward the platform. A bright light beamed out of the crystal and slowly faded away, leaving a light as if on standby.
To their dismay, the orb changed to red, dimming and brightening in a slow, tired pattern.
"What is it doing, father?" Fraeya asked.
"I have no idea," Raegel replied. "It must be waiting for something."

This FYI will focus on giving you a strong start in my faction, Apart from Live events and Towers, your two main issues at the start will be Proving Grounds (PG) and Faction Wars (FW).
I will discuss faction wars later in the article as some of the strongest cards in the game, even at present, are located there. But to have an easier time in faction wars you will need good card to begin with. So hers how to get a head start on some great Sapphire and Ruby Cards.
In regards to your starter pack choose whatever you prefer, you will receive emerald evo cards which, by meeting specific requirements will evolve gem levels eventually reaching Ruby 80 overall. I tend to go for Strikers as they are easier to meet the requirements and MFP match actions for PG, Lives and Towers.
MyRise and Showcase:
Completion of these modes unlock various my faction cards and some of them are very strong.
Cheesing Myrise and Showcase: If you just want to blast through the modes, set it to easy and go to balancing, then turn everything in your favour, reversals, kick outs, health and regarding submission, change it so the AI is punished for wrong button presses, you not so and correct button presses are strong for you and weak for AI, you will be submitting people in seconds unless the match has objectives or stipulations to meet first. Is it scummy? Yes. Does it matter? No.
I would recommend showcase first, this can be laborious as you cant just win it but have to complete all objectives, again the difficultly adjustment will help but the part that rewards you is the end. It involves you taking part as the first entrant in a 30 man battle royale, to meet all objectives to unlock the showcase cards you need to survive and also eliminate 10 individuals during the run. Choose your wrestler wisely! Someone whos strong can reverse but can survive!
For completing Showcase Royale Rumble with 10 eliminations and winning you receive the following my faction cards which in my opinion are the best starting cards in the game prior to the FW bosses:

• Ruby Shawn Michaels '94 (83 Overall) - Amazing Agility, he will be your ladder match card
• Ruby Bianca Belair (82 Overall)
• Ruby Charlotte Flair (82 Overall)
• Ruby Rhea Ripley (82 Overall)
• Ruby Becky Lynch 81 (Overall)
• Ruby Ricky Steamboat (80 Overall)
• Sapphire Asuka (79 Overall)
• Sapphire George "The Animal" Steele (76 Overall)
• Sapphire Ken Shamrock (77 Overall)

My Rise is split into two Story's One male (Undisputed), one female (Unleashed), the female is linear and requires only one playthrough as long as you do all optional objectives to get all of the cards. Unleashed provides far more cards and far better cards:
Unleashed will provide the following My Faction Cards:

• Gold Psycho Sally (67 Overall)
• Gold Meilee "Fanny" Fan (66 Overall)
• Gold Geneva Rose (68 Overall)
• Sapphire Ava Moreno (76 Overall)
• Emerald Odyssey Rift (73 Overall)
• Emerald Justine (72 Overall)
• Emerald Carly Prime (74 Overall)
• Ruby Asuka (81 Overall)
• Ruby The Manifestation (82 Overall)
• Ruby John Cena (82 Overall)
• Ruby Batista (82 Overall)

The Male undisputed story will require completing the story twice and completing all optional objectives also, the main branch is during a choice to stay with Miz or go to NXT. The undisputed cards you unlock are as follows:

• Gold Cole Quinn (65 Overall)
• Gold Gabriel Slade (69 Overall)
• Sapphire Chosen (75 Overall)
• Sapphire Slade (79 Overall)
• Sapphire Zero (78 Overall)
• Ruby Gigi Dolan (80 Overall)
• Ruby El Ordinario (81 Overall)

LOCKER CODES:
Check which locker codes are active and enter them. Some expire, they provide free packs and cards, free agent cards can be scrapped for MFP, DO NOT ASSIGN THEM! Find recent locker code links here, also this is a great resource.
WWE 2K24 Locker Codes List for MyFACTION (May 2024) WWE 2K24 Coverage (thesmackdownhotel.com)
FW Bosses:
This section will be quick as I may do a whole FYI article on Faction wars and the best cards and why but my list in order are as follows:
Best Males:

1. Stone Cold Steve Austin
2. Rock (either, same stats and badges if not Cena will suffice the one that matches rocks badges)

After this its your choice, another rock or Cena couldn't hurt, YOKO and Andre were beast but the stamina nerf has affected them. Undertaker has terrible badges for his class but his super finisher is a submission and coupled with his space invader badge he can make submitting foes easy. I am not the biggest fan of Cody card but he's okay,
Your 4th card for the line up should be your showcase Shaun Michaels, TRUST ME!
Honorable Mentions:
The FW Sapphire Roman, Bobby, 78 Cena and Randy can be good.
Females:

1. TRISH STRATUS WITHOUT A DOUBT. OP, still one of the best female cards.
2. Bailey - Trust me her badges, she stuns easy and her stuns drain enemy special and finisher.
3. Either Charlotte 84 or the Becky 84 but go for charlotte, quicker limb attacks, on a stun bar can do three leg attacks, Becky does one! Furthermore, she has purple space invader meaning her subs are stronger.

Honorable mentions:
FW Sapphire Trish Stratus, Asuka, Chyna.
My starting line up after a while was this:
Males: Stone Cold, Rock, Rock, Shaun Michaels Showcase
Females: Trish, Bailey, Charlotte 84, Becky (84) (But Bianca, Becky or rhea from showcase are good also!).
I hope this is useful and Sub please chime in with your own advice. The more discourse the better. And again to the new players! Welcome!
PS Apologies for typos. Did this on my android.

Hi RelationshipAdvice. I need some relationship advice.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about three months now, and it's going great. We both get on so well, despite a few differences. But there's an issue that has been bothering me since we first hooked up.
Every time we're intimate, she insists on having her dog in the room with us - right next to the bed. It sounds like a little thing, but it's really starting to affect our relationship.
At first, I thought it was just happenstance that Bruno (that's her dog) happened to be in the room. But nope, it appears that every single time we get it on, her German Shepherd just has to be there too.
I've tried talking to her about how uncomfortable it makes me feel, but she just brushes it off and says it's important Bruno is always nearby. I get that they're close... And I know it's only a dog. But it just feels so goshdarned distracting. I have a hard time achieving engorgement as it is, let alone with Bruno panting and whimpering and staring at me.
I've suggested several compromises, like leaving the dog just outside the door or under a blanket, but she straight up refuses. She keeps saying that he needs to be near her at all times. It doesn't help that he's such a big boy too. I don't understand why she can't just put him in the other room.
I mean, I get it. She never goes anywhere without him. And I get that she feels safer with Bruno near by. But I've volunteered to make sure everything is safe and secure during our lovemaking sessions. And I always alert her to any obstacles on the floor. So there's no real reason for the dog to be right there. Can't he take 5 minutes off? Good lord, Bruno, let me get my rocks off with your lovely owner.
The other night, we had a really nice evening planned. I put on some nice music for us to listen to together, a good lavender candle and some nice sensory things (special blanket). I thought maybe, just for once, we could have some private time without the dog around. But no, the dog had to be there, watching us the whole time. She was still into it, but I was just utterly turned off. He was looking right at me!!!
I don't know what to do anymore. My girlfriend says he doesn't even know what's going on. But I see that glint. Bruno definitely knows. If I was a dog, I'd know. Anyway, it's getting to the point where I'm reconsidering the future of our relationship because of this.
So what else can I do? I get that her dog is essential for her independence, but does he really need to see everything?
Any advice would be massively appreciated.