Transgender wedding captions
Autogynephilia
2010.03.12 08:36 porktower Autogynephilia
For autogynephilic people who want to talk with others like them.
2024.05.22 01:28 GrainOfSand10 SCARED of my husband
I’m a stay at home mom of two baby boys. Married 3 years & dated 6 months prior to marriage & got pregnant a couple of months before getting married.
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
submitted by GrainOfSand10 to Advice [link] [comments]
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
2024.05.22 01:26 GrainOfSand10 SCARED of my husband
I’m a stay at home mom of two baby boys. Married 3 years & dated 6 months prior to marriage & got pregnant a couple of months before getting married.
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? Am I overthinking his lies and abuse? Do I need to get away now? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
submitted by GrainOfSand10 to u/GrainOfSand10 [link] [comments]
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? Am I overthinking his lies and abuse? Do I need to get away now? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
2024.05.21 22:48 Lazy_Exit_5517 AITA for not inviting my aunt in law to my wedding?
I'm relatively new to Reddit, I'm fairly certain this is how I format it.
Me (35M) and my fiance (32F) are getting married in October.
We have agreed my parents, her dad, my brother, my uncle, and my cousin will be at the wedding, we are having a small wedding with only a few non-family members.
My uncle, (58M), has three kids, I will call them M (15M), T(21M) and B(21F).
Me and M are the closest, he's a little terror but I'm glad he's in my family. He recently came out to our family as transgender (Female to Male, I think thats right term) and no one was very surprised. He was always a tom boy, and over all never 'girlie'.
B is also trans, (Male to Female) and recently came out as well, but again, we weren't very surprised.
B and T are twins, and were like two peas in a pod, when M was born, he joined their little group. The three of them have always been very close, and B and M came out to T first.
M is going to be flower boy, and he's going to wear a suit. T is going to be one of my grooms men, and B is going to be a brides maid.
The three of them are all matching, a detail we all find sweet.
But anyways, my uncle has a wife (58F) who is not the mother of any of the kids, they've been married for two years, and were dating seven years before.
My aunt in law will not play any part in our wedding, and will ot even be there.
She constantly dead names B and M, and is over all a jerk to M.
She is also rude toward me and my fiance, and most of our family. We have no idea what my uncle sees in her.
I'm going to have my cousin in my wedding, no matter what. Aunt In Law is mad she won't be there, but she knows exactly why.
She took M shopping for the wedding, and refused to let him get a suit, buying him dress instead. M came to me and my fiance crying at the engagement party (a few days after they went shopping) because Aunt in law wouldn't let him wear a suit, and demanded he wear a dress.
It been a few months since the party, and we have everything planned out.
My aunt is law will arive, but she won't be allowed in, my Best Man, who is my brother, will get M, T, and B into their outfits.
Aunt in law is throwing a fit over this, blowing up fiance and mine's phones, aswell as my mom and dad's.
Am I The Asshole?
submitted by Lazy_Exit_5517 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Me (35M) and my fiance (32F) are getting married in October.
We have agreed my parents, her dad, my brother, my uncle, and my cousin will be at the wedding, we are having a small wedding with only a few non-family members.
My uncle, (58M), has three kids, I will call them M (15M), T(21M) and B(21F).
Me and M are the closest, he's a little terror but I'm glad he's in my family. He recently came out to our family as transgender (Female to Male, I think thats right term) and no one was very surprised. He was always a tom boy, and over all never 'girlie'.
B is also trans, (Male to Female) and recently came out as well, but again, we weren't very surprised.
B and T are twins, and were like two peas in a pod, when M was born, he joined their little group. The three of them have always been very close, and B and M came out to T first.
M is going to be flower boy, and he's going to wear a suit. T is going to be one of my grooms men, and B is going to be a brides maid.
The three of them are all matching, a detail we all find sweet.
But anyways, my uncle has a wife (58F) who is not the mother of any of the kids, they've been married for two years, and were dating seven years before.
My aunt in law will not play any part in our wedding, and will ot even be there.
She constantly dead names B and M, and is over all a jerk to M.
She is also rude toward me and my fiance, and most of our family. We have no idea what my uncle sees in her.
I'm going to have my cousin in my wedding, no matter what. Aunt In Law is mad she won't be there, but she knows exactly why.
She took M shopping for the wedding, and refused to let him get a suit, buying him dress instead. M came to me and my fiance crying at the engagement party (a few days after they went shopping) because Aunt in law wouldn't let him wear a suit, and demanded he wear a dress.
It been a few months since the party, and we have everything planned out.
My aunt is law will arive, but she won't be allowed in, my Best Man, who is my brother, will get M, T, and B into their outfits.
Aunt in law is throwing a fit over this, blowing up fiance and mine's phones, aswell as my mom and dad's.
Am I The Asshole?
2024.05.21 19:50 Available-Ad4173 Somebody seriously quoted Braxtons Instagram caption in their wedding vows… 💀💀
 | submitted by Available-Ad4173 to AlixearleSnark [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 15:22 Praserih Airtable, word and excel
Hi,
I know this has been asked before but I can't seem to get it to work.
We use airtable to keep a database of artworks and exhibitions. I have three tables: The database, the translations (i think i'll end up merging these two if there's a way to do so because i've found that having them separate is more harm than good, I'll accept any advice on that as well) and one for making the lists.
In the lists table i create a view for each exhibition / collection i need so i can keep them organized, but essentially is just a the translations base synced and with a few extra fields added for utility purposes.
Oftentimes I need to share these artwork lists with museums and galleries. Usually I get away with downloading a csv of a filtered view and using InDesign's datamerge to create a decent looking pdf file. The issue is that pretty often I also need a word document or even an excel datasheet. I've managed to use google sheets instead of excel and works fineish, the main issue is exporting to a word document.
What i essentially need is each record in a view to be added to a word file, whether it's each in a new page or, preferably, just separated by a couple paragraph breaks. The fields i need to add are the caption of the artwork field and the image, which is the part i haven't been able to figure out. If it's possible to add some formatting that would be great but it's really not that important.
Is there any way to do this for free? I figure that a service like documint can help with that but the free version offers 10 documents a month, which we'd likely spend in a couple days.
submitted by Praserih to Airtable [link] [comments]
I know this has been asked before but I can't seem to get it to work.
We use airtable to keep a database of artworks and exhibitions. I have three tables: The database, the translations (i think i'll end up merging these two if there's a way to do so because i've found that having them separate is more harm than good, I'll accept any advice on that as well) and one for making the lists.
In the lists table i create a view for each exhibition / collection i need so i can keep them organized, but essentially is just a the translations base synced and with a few extra fields added for utility purposes.
Oftentimes I need to share these artwork lists with museums and galleries. Usually I get away with downloading a csv of a filtered view and using InDesign's datamerge to create a decent looking pdf file. The issue is that pretty often I also need a word document or even an excel datasheet. I've managed to use google sheets instead of excel and works fineish, the main issue is exporting to a word document.
What i essentially need is each record in a view to be added to a word file, whether it's each in a new page or, preferably, just separated by a couple paragraph breaks. The fields i need to add are the caption of the artwork field and the image, which is the part i haven't been able to figure out. If it's possible to add some formatting that would be great but it's really not that important.
Is there any way to do this for free? I figure that a service like documint can help with that but the free version offers 10 documents a month, which we'd likely spend in a couple days.
2024.05.21 03:21 Senior-Judgment3703 Social media then vs now
I have some insecurities over the fact that my husband doesn’t post anything about ours baby to social media. With SD6 he had a whole instagram page for her. He would post almost daily and would follow her around with a camera posting stories multiple times per day. There were videos of him and BM and SD going to playgrounds, beaches, pumpkin picking, parties, weddings, and indoor play spaces plus pictures of SD and BM with captions like “I love my mama”
Fast forward to now. There is only one photo of OB that he posted on his instagram it’s in his highlighted stories. He takes pics of her here and there but rarely photos of me with her and even more rare are selfies with the 3 of us. Most my photos I have with my baby are because my older daughter takes them unprompted because she knows how I mourn the fact that there are so few pictures with me in them from when she was little so she goes the extra mile. Another issue is we don’t do anything. He works constantly and I am always alone with the baby (or the baby and all the kids). He has only ever gone to the park or story time with us once. We have never had a vacation not even a weekend away locally. He didn’t take a pic of me with the baby or kids for Mother’s Day (he did get me a bracelet but again he was away all day for work.)
It’s hard to feel like he is excited about our family or this baby when the difference is so striking. I get embarrassed sometimes thinking how it looks to people on the outside like his family and friends who see that he doesn’t post anything about me or OB. Even his best friend didn’t even know we were pregnant or that OB existed until she was 3 months old. It really hurts my feelings and makes me think he favors his first family and that he was so proud to be a dad and celebrate all the firsts with his first child but now it’s old news and me and OB get the short end of the stick.
submitted by Senior-Judgment3703 to stepparents [link] [comments]
Fast forward to now. There is only one photo of OB that he posted on his instagram it’s in his highlighted stories. He takes pics of her here and there but rarely photos of me with her and even more rare are selfies with the 3 of us. Most my photos I have with my baby are because my older daughter takes them unprompted because she knows how I mourn the fact that there are so few pictures with me in them from when she was little so she goes the extra mile. Another issue is we don’t do anything. He works constantly and I am always alone with the baby (or the baby and all the kids). He has only ever gone to the park or story time with us once. We have never had a vacation not even a weekend away locally. He didn’t take a pic of me with the baby or kids for Mother’s Day (he did get me a bracelet but again he was away all day for work.)
It’s hard to feel like he is excited about our family or this baby when the difference is so striking. I get embarrassed sometimes thinking how it looks to people on the outside like his family and friends who see that he doesn’t post anything about me or OB. Even his best friend didn’t even know we were pregnant or that OB existed until she was 3 months old. It really hurts my feelings and makes me think he favors his first family and that he was so proud to be a dad and celebrate all the firsts with his first child but now it’s old news and me and OB get the short end of the stick.
2024.05.19 18:52 onnake Talleen Abu Hanna represents hope for transgender women in Israel
 | “The 29-year-old is one of the protagonists in Yolande Zauberman's documentary 'La Belle de Gaza.' Presented in a special screening at Cannes before its theatrical release on May 29, the film examines the often tragic destinies of transgender women in Israel.“ submitted by onnake to transgender [link] [comments] “Talleen Abu Hanna preferred to flee the war, if only for 24 hours. At the end of April in Paris, far from the bloody conflict between Israel and Hamas, the 29-year-old transgender woman, wearing a blue silk top and meticulous make-up, tried to forget the dead, the risk of regional conflagration and her ‘tug of war’ over the national unity demanded by Israel, as she was born into a Palestinian Christian family from Nazareth, in northern Israel. “After six months of military operations, Hanna seemed afraid to take a stand at a time when Israel's LGBTQ+ community was being blacklisted abroad by part of the pro-Palestinian movement, which accused it of tacitly endorsing the war being waged by the Israeli state. “Beside her, Israela Lev, 63, a veteran fighter for LGBTQ+ rights who presents herself as both Hanna's manager and her ‘mother’ (a protective figure in queer culture), sighed with sadness when asked about the conflict: ‘Rather than take a gun in our hands to go to war, we'd rather do our nails, put on make-up, inject Botox.’ Or go to the Cannes Film Festival. “In May, Hanna and Lev will go to the French Riviera to present the documentary La Belle de Gaza (The Belle from Gaza), directed by Yolande Zauberman (Would You Have Sex with an Arab? in 2011 and M, winner of the César for Best Documentary Film in 2020). It will be shown in a special screening on May 22, ahead of its theatrical release on May 29. Shot before the war, the film interweaves the sometimes tragic fates of a number of different transgender women in Israel, many of them sex workers gathered on the same grim Tel Aviv street. “A young woman, the Belle in the title, is said to have fled the Gaza Strip, where she was threatened with death because of her trans identity, and went to Tel Aviv on foot. Hanna does not play this mysterious character, who appears only briefly in the documentary. But she is a central figure in the story, a symbol of success, a beacon of hope in the midst of other, darker journeys. On that day in Paris, she said little about the Israel-Gaza conflict, concentrating instead on the plight of transgender people, whom she described as being ‘at war with their bodies.’” |
2024.05.19 04:51 woofwoof1234_567 I (14f) feel like my boyfriend (14m) doesn't like me anymore. What should I do?
It might be important to note that me and my boyfriend go to an all girl school, he's transgender. Anyways, I've been struggling with this for a while, me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and in the beginning it was great, he would tell me that he loves me and would always hold my hand and we had to keep it a secret from our parents and teachers since it wasn't allowed. I'm fine with that since we'd both get in trouble and stuff. But since this school year started (and its about to end) I've felt like he doesn't really like me anymore, like of course we've had great times together but especially in the last 2 months it feels like he's really drifting away. I will admit I do have jealousy problems and I'm pretty insecure and I'm really trying to work on that and I've told him this and he's said that he'd be patient with me, so maybe this might just be me being insecure but I've felt like he doesn't like me anymore. I've talked to him about how I've felt and it feels like nothing changes and he usually just replies with short vague answers that never really addresses anything I say. He never really hangs out with me anymore and its hard since we live really far away from each other and the only times we ever get to see each other is at school and he only goes with me when I ask him too. He never tells me anything, he always leaves me on read, he never shows me any affection, he doesn't tell me he loves me. I just don't know what to do. He doesn't even say hi to me or anything when we pass by each other in the hallways. I really do feel like an afterthought and nothing to him. I've told him about how I feel like he doesn't love me and all he says "I love you don't worry about it" but I really don't really don't feel like he does. I don't know what to do, I understand that he has problems with his family and maybe that could explain it or something I don't know but I really want the both of us to work out. When we're good it's felt really great and amazing but I feel like we're stuck. Nothing changes between us and I feel like he just forgets I exist sometimes. I don't know what to do. This is my first relationship and I don't want to break up with him but I've been feeling hurt by all this I guess. What should I do?
edit: we've been together since we were 14 and we're turning 15 this year. Idk I feel like I have to say this for some reason
submitted by woofwoof1234_567 to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
edit: we've been together since we were 14 and we're turning 15 this year. Idk I feel like I have to say this for some reason
2024.05.18 22:28 lawrencedun2002 Here's how a makeup artist from Springfield collaborated with Gypsy Rose Blanchard in LA
 | Alexis Oakley has done makeup for Emma Stone, Paris Hilton, Demi Lovato, and Kris Jenner, but her work has never garnered as much attention as when she "glammed" Gypsy Rose Blanchard two weeks ago. submitted by lawrencedun2002 to thegrbcase [link] [comments] Oakley, a Springfield native, met with the newfound celebrity May 1, when Blanchard was in Los Angeles for a red carpet event promoting her new Lifetime docuseries, "Gypsy Rose: Life After Lock Up." Oakley met Blanchard in her hotel room, where she did her makeup and the two created social media content together. Oakley and Blanchard had about two hours to do hair and makeup and one hour to create social media photos and videos. They also stopped in a nearby Sephora for about an hour to shop together. Oakley has posted more than nine videos on her TikTok and Instagram from the collaboration, which have garnered more than 70 million impressions, she said. She also gained more than 250,000 followers on TikTok, almost overnight. As of Wednesday, Oakley has more than 490,600 followers on TikTok. "I've never gained so many followers from anyone before," Oakley told the News-Leader on Wednesday. "Obviously, I've worked with traditional celebrities ... and a tag can help my career, for sure, but the Gypsy Rose Effect is unlike anything." Connecting with Gypsy The collaboration began back in December 2023, a few days after Blanchard was released from the Chillicothe Correctional Center, where she served an eight-year sentence for conspiring to kill her mother Clauddine "Dee Dee" Blanchard" with her then-boyfriend Nick Godejohn in 2015. Blanchard was released from prison Dec. 28 and on Dec. 30, Oakley posted a TikTok video of her setting up her makeup kit with the caption, "Clearing my schedule in case Gypsy Rose wants glam." The video was a part of a trend where TikTokers made videos of them "clearing their schedules" to do specific activities with Blanchard. As of Wednesday, Oakley's video had more than 454,200 views. Though the video garnered more engagement than her other content, Oakley said she didn't think much of it. However, she was genuinely interested in doing Blanchard's makeup. "After that, I saw that she was doing press in New York and getting her hair and makeup done and I was like, 'Okay, she's about to start being a glam girl, how can I get my name in there?'" Oakley recalled. "I DMed (direct messaged) her a million times (on Instagram), but obviously she wasn't seeing anything because I think she got 12 million followers overnight." Oakley decided to take it a step further and began sifting through the list of accounts Blanchard followed on Instagram, which at the time was about 100. "I was just looking for someone who was maybe a manager, publicist or friend," Oakley continued. "I ended up finding a few girls who worked on the Lifetime team and DMed them and said, 'Oh my gosh, I saw Gypsy is doing press. How can I glam her? Can you connect me? Who should I reach out to?' and they were like, 'Oh my gosh, we actually saw your TikTok.'" In January, Lifetime aired a six-episode docuseries called "The Prison Confessions of Gypsy Rose Blanchard," which chronicled the history of Blanchard's case and some of her life in prison. After connecting with members of Lifetime, it was about four months before Oakley heard from them again, which she said is typical when working with celebrities. Then out of nowhere Oakley received the call: Are you available? Gypsy is coming to Los Angeles. Four hours and a lasting friendship According to Oakley, Blanchard was only in Los Angeles for about 24 hours. Ahead of the Lifetime red carpet event, Blanchard visited Santa Monica Pier — it was her first time seeing the ocean — and did some staple California activities, like trying In-N-Out Burger. Then, Blanchard and Oakley met up for hair and makeup in Blanchard's hotel room. "We just connected right away," Oakley said of Blanchard. "I filmed the entire process, which I typically try to do with my clients ... She was so sweet, such an easy client and just so excited to learn about makeup and just asking questions the entire time: 'What's this product? How do you apply this? Why are you putting it there? What does this do? Have I been doing this wrong?' (She) was very, very eager to learn, which is so fun for me." During hair and makeup, Oakley learned that Blanchard had never been to a Sephora, so she asked Blanchard's team if they would have enough time to run by a nearby mall. Fortunately, they were able to work it into her schedule. The two bought an array of makeup products, including moisturizer, foundation and concealer, blush, mascara, eyebrow pencils and lip liner. "It was just so sweet and it honestly made me so emotional taking her as she'd never been before, she's 32 years old and doesn't really know how to do her makeup," Oakley said. "Watching her light up when I would tell her about certain products ... was just really, really cool." Since Blanchard's visit to Los Angeles, Oakley said the two have been texting back and forth daily. And while nothing is confirmed, Oakley said Blanchard told her that she would like for her to do her makeup for her wedding, when that day comes. Getting started and what's next Oakley got her start doing prom and bridal makeup in her parent's basement in high school, but she knew she was interested in more sophisticated work. A few weeks after graduating from New Covenant Academy in 2016, Oakley moved to Los Angeles at the age of 18. Upon arriving, she enrolled at Make-Up Designory, a five-month professional make-up training program. "Two days before I graduated Make-Up Designory, I landed a job as an assistant for a really huge celebrity makeup artist. That was kind of that moment for me where I was like, 'Okay, I think this is supposed to be what I do." The makeup artist was Rachel Goodwin, who has worked with Emma Stone, Laura Dern, Jennifer Lawrence, Zendaya and countless other A-list celebrities. Oakley said she spent about four years working as an assistant for various celebrity makeup artists before establishing herself independently. The first two celebrities she worked with on her own were Paris Hilton and Jessica Alba, both in the same week. More recently, Oakley has enjoyed collaborating with social media content creators including Tanya Mongeau, Trisha Paytas and Brianna LaPaglia. When it comes to Oakley's relationship with Blanchard, she said she hopes to stay in contact and do her makeup anytime she's in Los Angeles. As for future clients, Oakley said her dream celebrity that she would like to work with is Hailey Bieber. She also hopes to host more in-person events like meet-and-greets and masterclasses. |
2024.05.18 16:33 Emergency-Train-5177 Uninvited my(22f) dad(45m) to my wedding
My wedding is in 8 days. My dad recently changed their pronouns to they them. My dad has been pretty absent in my life since I was 10 when my mom and dad got divorced. They were was abusive to my mom but luckily she divorced them almost immediately after they choked her and I saw them do it. They killed both of the family dogs with negligence (on accident). When I wanted to bury my dog they tried to trick me into giving them money to taxidermy the dog. They collect dead animals and display the bones. They didn’t feed me when I lived with them. They are impossible to deal with in almost any situation. Extremely Paranoid, stubborn, into conspiracy theories, occasionally believing they are god. It’s a bad time. I know getting my dad to wear an appropriate outfit was going to be a struggle I went dress shopping with them and it was just frustrating. It just felt like my dad was making the wedding all about them. I honestly wanted my dad to wear a pantsuit or a woman’s suit. I didn’t say that though. You can’t ever disagree with my dad. You can’t compromise with my dad. He is always always always the victim. When we go places they refuse to wear shoes. They refuse to shower saying it’s bad for you. The house they live in is my grandmas and the electricity isn’t on. They haven’t worked in over 6 years. The house is full of trash my dad hoards things. my dad rolls their cigarettes on restaurant tables. They bring full cups of coffee into my car just to spill them everywhere. My dad would probably dip his overgrown fingernails into my wedding cake just because. I planned on letting them come until my grandma and my dad and siblings went to Denny’s. My dad had said they didn’t want to wear a suit because it would look silly unless it’s tailored. My grandma said ok I’ll get your suit tailored. My grandpa (who was not at the restaurant) sent a photo of a woman’s suit to my dad and suggested they wore that. My dad stood up and ranted about how we were all transphobic. And stormed off making everyone in the restaurant look at them. My dad said they would start making a scene if anyone misgenders them. They later tried to convince me that that is not what happened and my dad only said they were going to correct people. My fiancé (23 M) basically said to me that I need to uninvited them. My grandma went shopping with my dad and got them a woman’s pants suit because I requested at this point that they not wear a dress. I don’t know what else to say my reasoning is that they they are a spectacle in a dress. My dad looks like and smells like they live in a dumpster. I just want my dad to show up as a supportive father figure instead of making it about them. My dad called to yell at me for being transphobic about the pants suit. And geez I can’t believe I’m saying this about anyone. But I’ve known my dad for 22 years. I don’t believe they are transgender. I just know my dad and they will do anything to be the victim. They (the white guy) somehow made blm all about them. Said that the government was after them. My fiancé would be miserable the entire wedding worrying about what my dad is saying and doing. Someone would need to babysit them. So I had to uninvited them. All oft aunts and uncles and grandma called to tell me they support me and one said they don’t think they are transgender. My dad called and promised they would behave yesterday and I felt like saying they could come. My fiancé still said no. So I had to tell my dad they can’t come. My mom told me even if they promise to behave they can’t. They aren’t capable of keeping promises. I know this sounds fake I don’t know how to convince anyone it’s real. and I swear I’m supportive of other trans issues. I just need to know if wanting my dad to wear a suit makes me an asshole. I know I’m right to uninvite them but I feel like a jerk for believing they are doing it for attention. Because I hate when people say gay/ trans issues are for attention. I dated a woman for 2 years I just don’t generally hold this opinion of others.
TLDR: Reddit am I an asshole for making my dad feel like I don’t support their gender (I don’t but I didn’t say that).
submitted by Emergency-Train-5177 to AITAH [link] [comments]
TLDR: Reddit am I an asshole for making my dad feel like I don’t support their gender (I don’t but I didn’t say that).
2024.05.18 08:13 oblivion-take-you I hope you're happy with the big house.
I always remember that night we were driving through the neighborhoods. We took a turn to the affluent area. Big houses, big windows, nice cars, bright lights shining through. You asked me if I wanted a house like that.
I said no.
You said you did. That all you wanted was a nice big house with big windows and chandelier in a neighborhood like that.
I couldn't imagine. I never had a big house, my family never owned a house. I don't care for big houses. I have nothing to prove. To anyone or to myself.
You pushed back on me for that. "Why not?"
"You don't need a big house to be happy. It's just more to clean up."
"I want a big house. I want to be rich."
That was the main thing we never saw eye to eye on. You always wanted a luxurious life. I just wanted to be happy.
Looking back, I said a lot of things I shouldn't have. Immaturity, all for the sake of a poor joke. Call it low emotional intelligence. I was young. I was stupid.
You were in medical school. You wanted to be a doctor. We'd talked about it and you just said you wanted to be a doctor. No reason. You just wanted to be a doctor. I don't think the words, "I want to help people" ever came out of your mouth.
I made a joke essentially saying, "You just want to be a doctor so you can get a big house."
You got mad at me. Didn't talk to me for days for that one.
Years later we graduate and I hear what... you're in law school. How interesting.
Now, years and years later you're fully committed to being a lawyer, not a doctor, with a boyfriend I hear.
I caught a glimpse of him last night on an insomnia-driven dive into Instagram.
At first I was filled with sorrow. The thought of you with someone else. The finality of it all.
But now as I write these feelings away I begin to see the reality.
He's a lawyer just like you. A modest fellow. The kind of person to wear a turtle neck, raybans, and have someone take his picture as he poses in front of whatever city he's visiting for the weekend or sipping wine at a vineyard.
The kind of person to have a mirror selfie in a suit, captioned, "Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters."
This is the kind of guy you like?
One of these people where happiness is measured by gloat and dollar sign.
These are all assumptions, sure, but for him to be so serious. Not even ironically.
It all comes together now and I feel a bit better.
I always asked myself, if after all this time we ever met again, would you even be the same person I knew when we loved each other?
Now as I piece the past together, when you left me, you weren't even the same person as the one when we shared our first kiss.
You had the dream of the big house.
The longer we were together the more I realized we didn't see things the same way.
Toward the end, you became a different person.
You weren't that funny, quirky girl I fell in love with.
You focused too much on how you looked. You were too serious. You were never happy. You always complained to me about your friends doing something that annoyed you or how life sucked.
I just told you it's never that serious. Life isn't serious. It doesn't matter as long as it's funny, right?
You didn't laugh anymore.
It all falls into place.
Throughout these years I've been caught in bouts of depression and regret, all fixated around you.
What could I have done better? What could I have said? How could I have been better to keep you around?
But now I'm realizing it was never about what I did or didn't do.
It was about you finding the confidence to embrace who *you* wanted to be.
What i loved about you was that you were beautiful, and smart, and I could make you laugh, and you could make me laugh too with this endearing awkwardness i found irresistible
But who you were emerged. You wanted to be pretty. You wanted to be cool. You wanted to be rich.
The big house you grew up, that you lost when you were younger was your life's goal. That's what you needed.
I see now, that I just never fit that picture.
It wasn't about me not being enough, it was about you wanting too much.
So we drifted apart. Anger grew between us and by god were we unable to communicate properly. It all crumbled like it had before. We stopped talking for 3 months. Three.
Then that final night when we saw each other after that hiatus, I tried to kiss you and you stopped me and asked, "Are you seeing anyone else?"
"No." I said. "Are you?
You just nodded your head.
I forgot about that to be honest. Until i reread a previous entry I wrote describing that night and it all came rushing back to me like a torrent of sorrow.
I was dumbstruck. I didn't even know what to say. You didn't say anything at all.
"Afterlife" by Arcade Fire came up on my shuffle. Such a perfect song for such a lamentable moment.
I had to turn it to zero as I spat out words to try and make sense.
You gave me nothing.
We hugged and you left.
That was the last time I saw you. The last words we ever said to each other.
Why am I still hung up on this?
It's trauma for sure, but it's been so long and still these recurring pangs of anger, depression, and worthlessness haunt me. I spiral back into memories of you. Chasing that person I loved. But she's gone.
She was never really there.
So now, I see, who you are now. I was right. You didn't want to help people. You're a lawyer. Humorless. Serious. Vindictive.
This person I see you with now is just the same. Just as superficial, just as arrogant, just as motivated by this external sense of success.
It all makes sense and perhaps this is my sign to take it for what it is, which is just a right time, right place experience.
We were always different people. We just had base attraction and were too young to really know what it meant to be in love. We never even called it dating. But we tried and tried and tried until the next prospect came along and you went your way.
Years and years later here I am, lying awake at night remembering, mulling over what-ifs. Writing these pointless thoughts and dispersing them into the ether so that strangers can read my sorry story and relate or feel better or offer perspective.
Years and years and I'm not even a thought in your head and here I am a fool, expending energy into fruitless labors, but what is a person to do when the most important person in their life leaves them without the slightest sense of closure.
"Find your own."
My friend tells me that and this is it.
Remembering a person who hurt me like no other and laying it all out, again and again, until I circle my mind and heart back to anger and hate.
The only things that seem to help me get over you.
And there you are with rayban man, nary a thought about what happened between us. Not even an apology. Not even a morsel of regret. You never looked back.
I'm happy for you.
I just hope that you don't find yourself in one of your peer's offices when you realize the view from the other side of those big windows won't fill that gaping hole in your heart.
submitted by oblivion-take-you to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
I said no.
You said you did. That all you wanted was a nice big house with big windows and chandelier in a neighborhood like that.
I couldn't imagine. I never had a big house, my family never owned a house. I don't care for big houses. I have nothing to prove. To anyone or to myself.
You pushed back on me for that. "Why not?"
"You don't need a big house to be happy. It's just more to clean up."
"I want a big house. I want to be rich."
That was the main thing we never saw eye to eye on. You always wanted a luxurious life. I just wanted to be happy.
Looking back, I said a lot of things I shouldn't have. Immaturity, all for the sake of a poor joke. Call it low emotional intelligence. I was young. I was stupid.
You were in medical school. You wanted to be a doctor. We'd talked about it and you just said you wanted to be a doctor. No reason. You just wanted to be a doctor. I don't think the words, "I want to help people" ever came out of your mouth.
I made a joke essentially saying, "You just want to be a doctor so you can get a big house."
You got mad at me. Didn't talk to me for days for that one.
Years later we graduate and I hear what... you're in law school. How interesting.
Now, years and years later you're fully committed to being a lawyer, not a doctor, with a boyfriend I hear.
I caught a glimpse of him last night on an insomnia-driven dive into Instagram.
At first I was filled with sorrow. The thought of you with someone else. The finality of it all.
But now as I write these feelings away I begin to see the reality.
He's a lawyer just like you. A modest fellow. The kind of person to wear a turtle neck, raybans, and have someone take his picture as he poses in front of whatever city he's visiting for the weekend or sipping wine at a vineyard.
The kind of person to have a mirror selfie in a suit, captioned, "Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters."
This is the kind of guy you like?
One of these people where happiness is measured by gloat and dollar sign.
These are all assumptions, sure, but for him to be so serious. Not even ironically.
It all comes together now and I feel a bit better.
I always asked myself, if after all this time we ever met again, would you even be the same person I knew when we loved each other?
Now as I piece the past together, when you left me, you weren't even the same person as the one when we shared our first kiss.
You had the dream of the big house.
The longer we were together the more I realized we didn't see things the same way.
Toward the end, you became a different person.
You weren't that funny, quirky girl I fell in love with.
You focused too much on how you looked. You were too serious. You were never happy. You always complained to me about your friends doing something that annoyed you or how life sucked.
I just told you it's never that serious. Life isn't serious. It doesn't matter as long as it's funny, right?
You didn't laugh anymore.
It all falls into place.
Throughout these years I've been caught in bouts of depression and regret, all fixated around you.
What could I have done better? What could I have said? How could I have been better to keep you around?
But now I'm realizing it was never about what I did or didn't do.
It was about you finding the confidence to embrace who *you* wanted to be.
What i loved about you was that you were beautiful, and smart, and I could make you laugh, and you could make me laugh too with this endearing awkwardness i found irresistible
But who you were emerged. You wanted to be pretty. You wanted to be cool. You wanted to be rich.
The big house you grew up, that you lost when you were younger was your life's goal. That's what you needed.
I see now, that I just never fit that picture.
It wasn't about me not being enough, it was about you wanting too much.
So we drifted apart. Anger grew between us and by god were we unable to communicate properly. It all crumbled like it had before. We stopped talking for 3 months. Three.
Then that final night when we saw each other after that hiatus, I tried to kiss you and you stopped me and asked, "Are you seeing anyone else?"
"No." I said. "Are you?
You just nodded your head.
I forgot about that to be honest. Until i reread a previous entry I wrote describing that night and it all came rushing back to me like a torrent of sorrow.
I was dumbstruck. I didn't even know what to say. You didn't say anything at all.
"Afterlife" by Arcade Fire came up on my shuffle. Such a perfect song for such a lamentable moment.
I had to turn it to zero as I spat out words to try and make sense.
You gave me nothing.
We hugged and you left.
That was the last time I saw you. The last words we ever said to each other.
Why am I still hung up on this?
It's trauma for sure, but it's been so long and still these recurring pangs of anger, depression, and worthlessness haunt me. I spiral back into memories of you. Chasing that person I loved. But she's gone.
She was never really there.
So now, I see, who you are now. I was right. You didn't want to help people. You're a lawyer. Humorless. Serious. Vindictive.
This person I see you with now is just the same. Just as superficial, just as arrogant, just as motivated by this external sense of success.
It all makes sense and perhaps this is my sign to take it for what it is, which is just a right time, right place experience.
We were always different people. We just had base attraction and were too young to really know what it meant to be in love. We never even called it dating. But we tried and tried and tried until the next prospect came along and you went your way.
Years and years later here I am, lying awake at night remembering, mulling over what-ifs. Writing these pointless thoughts and dispersing them into the ether so that strangers can read my sorry story and relate or feel better or offer perspective.
Years and years and I'm not even a thought in your head and here I am a fool, expending energy into fruitless labors, but what is a person to do when the most important person in their life leaves them without the slightest sense of closure.
"Find your own."
My friend tells me that and this is it.
Remembering a person who hurt me like no other and laying it all out, again and again, until I circle my mind and heart back to anger and hate.
The only things that seem to help me get over you.
And there you are with rayban man, nary a thought about what happened between us. Not even an apology. Not even a morsel of regret. You never looked back.
I'm happy for you.
I just hope that you don't find yourself in one of your peer's offices when you realize the view from the other side of those big windows won't fill that gaping hole in your heart.
2024.05.17 23:37 GarlicBread_dealer Made the mistake of looking at WW social media.
I'm just shy of 1 year divorced. I reactivated my Facebook (I log in probably once a year when I want to check marketplace for something) and when the "people you may know" was displayed, I noticed I'm still "friends" with my WW. I looked at her page. She hasn't posted anything in years but still has pictures of us posted on there. The pictures hurt but what triggered me the most was one of her own posts she reshared. It said something along the lines of "if you see this, I love you". It had originally been posted right before our wedding. Well at that time, she was having a full fledged emotional affair unbeknownst to me. Her reshared caption was like "still true" and I can't help but wonder, was that even about me? Was this a public taunt with idiot me not knowing what was going on? It reignited my number 1 question of why did she even go through with marrying me? When she finally confessed to the multiple physical and emotional affairs, she made it sound like she wanted to go off and be with this other person. Yet she told me how great I was. I know I don't have to tell you guys how much it sucks to simply be discarded, but it sucks. I just live a life of solitude now. Scared to develop feelings for someone new, with the fear they'll just throw me out too when someone "better" comes along.
We were geographically separated leading up to our wedding due to work. So what I once thought could've been a sweet Facebook post to find, could've been something for her secret partner with the thrill of dangling the affair right in front of my face.
submitted by GarlicBread_dealer to SupportforBetrayed [link] [comments]
We were geographically separated leading up to our wedding due to work. So what I once thought could've been a sweet Facebook post to find, could've been something for her secret partner with the thrill of dangling the affair right in front of my face.
2024.05.17 22:53 Broke_the_Bunny I just hate my mom sometimes
My mom keeps on starting fights with me. She will always find something to complain about.
Only earlier today, we were planning clothes for my uncle's wedding. Since it's going to rain on that day, she asks me to find something to put over. I find a sweater but since it's not the exact sweater she thought off, she gets angry at me on how useless I am.
I start to cry and she complains about it because "I'm not a toddler anymore". It makes me cry even more and she yells at me to try the sweater I found and I do still in tears. It's always the same scenario. I even try to explain to her why I cry sometimes, I just can't help it, it's my natural response to people yelling at me. She says I actually can help it, that I just do it for attention???
She will also often make fun about my weight, my hyperfixations (Knowing I might be autistic) and social anxiety. She will completely deny any comment I say regarding my gender dysphoria ("You're not transgender, you care about your physical appearance and like to wear dresses"). I just hate it so much.
Anyways, I just wanted to get that out of my chest.
submitted by Broke_the_Bunny to Vent [link] [comments]
Only earlier today, we were planning clothes for my uncle's wedding. Since it's going to rain on that day, she asks me to find something to put over. I find a sweater but since it's not the exact sweater she thought off, she gets angry at me on how useless I am.
I start to cry and she complains about it because "I'm not a toddler anymore". It makes me cry even more and she yells at me to try the sweater I found and I do still in tears. It's always the same scenario. I even try to explain to her why I cry sometimes, I just can't help it, it's my natural response to people yelling at me. She says I actually can help it, that I just do it for attention???
She will also often make fun about my weight, my hyperfixations (Knowing I might be autistic) and social anxiety. She will completely deny any comment I say regarding my gender dysphoria ("You're not transgender, you care about your physical appearance and like to wear dresses"). I just hate it so much.
Anyways, I just wanted to get that out of my chest.
2024.05.17 18:57 unsub12345 I-130 & I-485 concurrent filing approved / PD Sept. 2023
My husband and I recently got our approval and would love to share our experience on this sub as long time lurkers. We would not have been able to get through this terrifying process without so many shared experiences/stories on this thread. You guys are truly amazing.
Little bit about our case:
Total days: 231 / Chicago Lockbox @ National Benefits Center
PD: 9/29/2023
IOE0922******
I-765 & I-131:
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 11/2/23
Card produced: 12/29/23
Card delivered: 1/2/24
I-130 (concurrent with I-485):
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 5/14/24
Case approved: 5/15/24
I-485:
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Biometrics scheduled: 10/13/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 11/2/23
Case approved: 5/15/24
submitted by unsub12345 to USCIS [link] [comments]
Little bit about our case:
- my path as an I-485 applicant is F1 (undergrad) -> F1 (master degree) -> post-OPT -> I-485.
- We started dating in Oct 2021, got married in July 2023 and filed in Sept 2023. Did not have a big wedding. We went to city hall then went to the park to exchange vows. Ended the day with an intimate dinner with close friends and my husband’s family. No one from my family was able to attend because they are far away (we planned to do a big wedding later).
- I did submit my medical along with the application.
- No RFE, no interview upon approval.
- In our experience, the timeline tracker in portal is not reliable for I-130 & I-485 timeline. A week before we got approved it jumped to 19 months. On the day we got approved, it says 6 months. It did fluctuate A LOT since the moment we submitted till when we got approved. Every time we got close to 2 months left, it changes again. However, it was pretty accurate for our I-765 & I-131.
- The reason we used to get approval for AP is that we want to be able to travel abroad to celebrate my in-law’s 30th wedding anniversary and have a honeymoon in Paris.
- We went back and forth with the amount of evidence we should submit, and ended up with the mindset: the more, the better. We want to be as clear as possible about our relationship to avoid any additional RFE. Documents we submitted include:
- Letters from my in-law and my parents testifying our relationship. My in-law wrote a really nice letter about the moment they realized that I’m the one for my husband.
- A summary timeline of our relationship with what we consider important milestones. Then, we submit photos with captions in accordance with the milestones. The milestones and the evidence are:
- Getting to know each other period - screenshots of text exchange my husband asking me out up to 5th date.
- Officially dating - no photo evidence but is listed on the milestone list.
- My 1st trip visiting my husband’s family - photos and flight receipts.
- Birthday and anniversary celebrations and cards for each other throughout 2 years.
- Scans of our love letters — we like writing love letters to each other and it became pretty handy.
- Text exchange of us discussing moving in together. I could not be added to the lease at that time but we had proof of him discussing the matter with his roommates. Submitted Venmo screenshots of me sending him rent $.
- More photos of us as we continue to date, attending friends’ weddings/parties/birthdays and family vacation together.
- Shared Costco member card.
- Ring receipt. No proposal photos, because my husband did it spontaneously in our bedroom lol.
- Wedding photos at city hall and vow exchange at the park.
- Copies of our vows.
- Scans of wedding cards from close friends and family members. Dinner receipt we paid for that night.
- Joint bank statements. We opened one right after we got married.
Total days: 231 / Chicago Lockbox @ National Benefits Center
PD: 9/29/2023
IOE0922******
I-765 & I-131:
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 11/2/23
Card produced: 12/29/23
Card delivered: 1/2/24
I-130 (concurrent with I-485):
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 5/14/24
Case approved: 5/15/24
I-485:
Receipt notice: 9/29/23
Biometrics scheduled: 10/13/23
Changed to actively reviewed: 11/2/23
Case approved: 5/15/24
2024.05.17 09:57 adrainc919 Female Rage™
for anyone's wondering all these 5 variants are pre-orders only delivered this week lmfao this is mental illness...
submitted by adrainc919 to popheadscirclejerk [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 18:09 carr1e Updated list of Mikayla's nonsense...
- Transphobic video using the word "tr***y"
- Referencing drag queens as clowns
- Doesn't disclose that reviews were really paid ads Edited her body for an Aerie ad, which is a brand that supposedly prides themselves on using real bodies.
- Was blocking and ignoring customers who purchased her Glamlite Paht 2 collection, never received their order, and asked about it. All of this while Glamlite was siphoning stock to CVS and also ignored customer inquiries about their overdue orders.
- Along with CVS, broke their "Beauty Unaltered" pledge by creating a display unit that is obviously filtered of the Trash Goblin’s face.
- Committed fraud by pledging that 50% of the proceeds from the Paht 2 collection would be donated to women's healthcare after the Dobbs decision. When anyone commented to ask about it, they were banned from her socials. This one is the most egregious, as there are people who might have purchased solely based on her pledge. She lied about not getting paid yet to make the donation just as the CVS distribution happened.
- She's myopic and doesn't care about her supporters, as she continually discusses her ED without the common courtesy of a trigger warning like most creators do for subjects like this. Her explanation for why she doesn't give a TW? "It doesn't trigger me, so fuck all of you." She's so disrespectful of Cody's sobriety.
- Does giveaways by making followers jump through engagement hoops to boost her profile but then didn't deliver on the giveaways.
- Begging... BEGGING.. followers on her broadcast channel to drop an emoji as a comment to inflate her engagement rate, as comments are engagement rate gold for getting paid.
- Claims she donates extra product to women's shelters, and then went on Instagram asking for suggestions on where in her area she can donate women's clothes. She's so fucking dense that she either doesn't realize the same places she supposedly donates product to is a good first start, or she outed herself as never donating before like she said she did if she doesn't know where to donate clothes locally.
- She's a terrible brand ambassador, which is on her and DBA. She went on a free Paris trip sponsored by Caudalie, and she shit talked how broken out her skin got on the trip (with the assumption she was using their products and services) and never once really hyped the brand that was paying for her to be there.
- Took money from Briogio for a campaign and at the same time posted videos about her hair falling out. She's so dumb she doesn't realize that she caused a causation comparison.
- She's lying about having clients, paying clients that aren't her friends and family. She is not a MUA or a certified in MA to do makeup.
- She brigades brands who don't do her bidding like a brat. Pottery Barn in the middle of the pandemic had shipping and quality issues. She sent her followers after them and then begged PB for more free stuff.
- She has her friends like HeartofGreg comment on her videos, which she then stiches the comment to review a product. She then takes that video and shops it to the brand to get them to sponsor the video.. and a few weeks later the video resurfaces as partner, paid partnerships, sponsorship.
- Tax fraud when handling gratis, expenses, and giveaways
- Did a giveaway for Chanel bags with Chris Appleton (Color Wow) and the Boston's Children's Hospital, which was against GoFundMe's Terms of Service. She never gave the winners their prize.
- Dogs a brand who sent her free items but then turns around and praises the brand when they pay her (She did it with Essence and KVD).
- Did a bunch of fake "pick out my wedding makeup" when she 100% knew what she was using including the fact that e.l.f. sponsored her wedding as a brand event. She says that's not true, but I can guarantee e.l.f. writes off the expenses they incurred for her wedding as a business expense.
- Lied about her YouTube page being her page. She feverously uploaded videos when she took her 5:19, baby tantrum, pity party break from TikTok but still needed to earn money. She uploaded her TikTok videos to YouTube, lied that it was her channel, and made money. If it wasn't her channel, you know she and DBA would file a cease and desist .. and win it.. to get the channel removed. It's her channel.
- Her filter usage is fraud. Period. There is no debating it. When you are getting paid to review products and apply a filter on your face and body, you are committing fraud. The viewer thinks it's the product making that effect and not really the software engineering team that created the editing app.
- With the PeeeLouish collab, they were caught pre-applying swatches from the P.Louise palette. She's also not really applying makeup in her videos. Cheeks, bronzer, and eyes are being applied off screen and she's swiping a brush making it look like she's applying it. Another sign she can't do professional makeup at all. It's all fake.
- Every ”in the wild” picture that’s not filtered shows the truth.
- She constantly lurks on other creators pages to find commenters to block when they shit talk her. Insecure much? She’ll unblock people to snark them and lurk, then block them again. We know she does this with Rich Lux.
- She supports James Charles. The grifting carnival barker loves the groomer trash.
- Community Contribution: She shits on her estranged half sister to her millions of followers, when all the evidence points to her sister being frozen out of their family at the age of 14. She claims her sister walked out of their lives because she “wasn’t the precious daughter of the family anymore” after Mikayla was born, and also talks badly about her sister for being on disability. Mikayla is an aunt to two girls, but I doubt she’s ever cared nor met them. Her sister also lived and lives right down the road from Mikayla’s parents home.
- She’s a known bully and coming from someone who’s now being regarded as an ED spokesperson. She told her friend that drinking hot chocolate would be “200 very unnecessary calories”, and that she was “just trying to help since you’re trying to lose weight” with that comment. She’s a mean girl, and she always has been.
- She cries about shade range while she brags about being soooo pale (um, really?). She releases collabs that are not inclusive for POC. She then brags about buying out and hoarding darker foundations and concealers to use as bronzers meaning the very little stock available for darker skin tones becomes even more scarce when her idiot stans buy up the product. She also blackfishes.
- She can't admit when she's wrong and aggressively lashes out to those trying to point it out. She called a comb and brush, and when corrected in her comments, she was incredibly rude to her own followers. You know, the people engaging with her content that's paying her mortgage. She is incapable of saying, "oops, my bad." Her integrity is crap for this behavior.
- Just like the above, the unwillingness to admit a simple mistake turned her into an ableist POS. There are those with low vision or no vision who listen to TikToks and rely on accuracy in speech and closed captions. Her "go fuck yourself, bro" attitude when called out about the comb incident made her incredibly ableist.
- She creates rage bait content to generate engagement gold via angry comments. This makes her a carnival barking grifter.
- She begs for engagement on her broadcast channel trying to force things to go viral like "nice and shaaaahhp." It's actually pathetic watching her do this.
- Used a derogatory term used to reference Travelers/Romani people and doubled down on it when people called her out and educated her on the use of the word.
- Lied about creating some Mother's Day shopping spree for a "family in need" saying that when she heard their story, she knew she just had to help. When asked in the comments about the story, she played the, "It's not my story the tell." Come to find out, the story is that the child goes to the school that Mikayla's mom works at. There was a raffle at the school, and one of the prizes was a $500 shopping trip with MikPickMe. The girl's mom paid for 40 entries to win the raffle, and she did. The only reason the shopping was done on Mother's Day was due to conflicting schedules. This was not a shopping spree for a family in need. It was a prize from a raffle that Mikayla's mommy had a hand in.
- MikLieHole took Rael's money and trip and went in days earlier with her emotional support animal, Codypendency, and did meetings with a competitor, Tirtir. Tirtir gifted her a Birkin while in South Korea, too.
- Purposely lied about and independent WoC owned brand (PIMBY) saying they use Vaseline for their swatches in an attempt to ruin said brand to make Glamlite look better.
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2024.05.16 12:20 ontheballoot Hailey Bieber's Baby Bump Photos: A Peek into Her Pregnancy Journey
 | Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber recently sent shockwaves across the internet with the announcement of their first pregnancy. Now, Hailey has delighted fans by offering a glimpse into her life as a mom-to-be through a series of heartwarming photos shared on Instagram. submitted by ontheballoot to u/ontheballoot [link] [comments] Hailey and Justin Bieber recently announced pregnancy. In the photos, Hailey can be seen cradling her growing baby bump, radiating with joy and excitement. Sporting a glittering butterfly crop top paired with low-rise jeans, she exudes a glow of maternal bliss. The photos capture intimate moments of Hailey’s journey into motherhood, including candid shots of her sipping a beverage and cuddling with her beloved pet dog. Accompanying the photos is a simple caption that reads, “the past few weeks have been..” followed by a string of emoticons, hinting at the whirlwind of emotions and experiences she has encountered since the pregnancy announcement. Among the many admirers of Hailey’s adorable maternity photos is Kylie Jenner, who couldn’t help but express her admiration with a comment that simply read, “Cutest.” Justin Bieber also took to social media to share his excitement about becoming a father. His Instagram post featured a touching video depicting what appeared to be the couple renewing their wedding vows in a picturesque outdoor setting. The video offers glimpses of Hailey’s pregnant belly adorned in a white, lacy dress, as well as tender moments between the couple as they prepare for parenthood. Hailey’s representative confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that she is “a little over six months pregnant,” adding to the anticipation surrounding the impending arrival of their bundle of joy. The couple, who tied the knot in 2018, has received an outpouring of love and support from friends, family, and fans since sharing their pregnancy news. Among those celebrating the happy news is Justin’s mother, Pattie Mallette, who expressed her excitement on Instagram, exclaiming, “I’m gonna be a grandma!” Hailey’s father, Stephen Baldwin, also shared his joy, writing, “Love you guys. Blessed beyond words. Praise God…let’s get ready to have some fun y’all.” As Hailey and Justin prepare to embark on this new chapter of their lives, their fans eagerly await more glimpses into their journey to parenthood and the arrival of their little one. |
2024.05.16 09:39 fiddeldeedee AITAH for the way I treat my brother/family?
Okay, I'm honestly confused to a huge degree so maybe you can tell me where I went wrong and if and maybe why I ATAH.
Since my brother (34) accuses me of treating him badly, here is a caption of the most recent events and most important facts.
GENERAL ASPECTS
So... AITAH for the way I treat my brothefamily?
TLDR: my brother blocked and unblocked me constantly. After telling him to not behave like my mother and spread all the baby news he blocked me. Unblocked me before his bday So I wished him a happy bday. He then send me an ultimatum and decided for himself the answer. AITAH?
submitted by fiddeldeedee to AITAH [link] [comments]
Since my brother (34) accuses me of treating him badly, here is a caption of the most recent events and most important facts.
GENERAL ASPECTS
- we have a bad relationship since I'm about 12 (he was probably 15)
- we had heavy arguments full of insults and physical fights.
- when I was in my twenties he attacked me which resulted in permanent damage to my nose.
- since I moved out we're barely in touch
- he stayed mostly in his room when I visited (he still lives there).
- every year he blocks and unblockes me, leaves and rejoins the family group. This mostly happens after I text my mother about something I don't think is okay, for example that he took my stuff that were presents or that there were different standards for him and me.
- my mother witnessed him insulting and physically hurting me since were young but doesn't do anything and simply states that it hurts her to see our relationship being that bad.
- two weeks before our grandpas funeral he told me I should not come over after the funeral.
- at the cemetery I told him to speak quieter since what he was saying was something that would cause him huge trouble. He insulted me as a result.
- on my birthday he was there despite me telling our mother several times I didn't want him there. He was surprisingly nice and even had a present for me. My mother pressured me to tell him about my pregnancy. He was nice to me from then on.
- my mother told people about my pregnancy and a few weeks later the gender despite me telling her repeatedly how important it was for me to be the one to share the news and experience the reactions. Therefore I let her know how very inappropriate this was and that I wasn't going to share any more information with her.
- I texted my brother and told him that I hoped he wouldn't behave as egoistic as she did. He blocked me and left the family chat.
- he unblocked me shortly before his bday, so I wished him a happy birthday. He replied "thank you".
- so this morning I see that he texted me last night.
- he was telling me there were two options: we'd be a normal family and acted that way or I'd keep on acting the way I do, in which case he'd stop any contact towards me and the child wouldn't have him as an uncle as it would be too stressful for the child. He wouldn't let himself get treated this way.
- exactly one hour later he texted again, stating that he chose the second option as expected and then he blocked me.
So... AITAH for the way I treat my brothefamily?
TLDR: my brother blocked and unblocked me constantly. After telling him to not behave like my mother and spread all the baby news he blocked me. Unblocked me before his bday So I wished him a happy bday. He then send me an ultimatum and decided for himself the answer. AITAH?
2024.05.16 09:13 AntonioMartin12 here is my life story
Friends, talking to someone very important in my life today, I was told to write today about my life on facebook, the real story.
And hardly anyone knows the whole story, and that's true. So then I'm going to arm myself with courage and tell everything: And to take whatever comes back my way. When I was born, in Puerto Rico, I was a sickly person. I had among other things, a heart disease. At three years old I began to experience something that I had no idea it was at that time: I did not feel like a boy but like a girl instead. I told my parents but as neither they nor I understood what this was, they told me that I was male etc. By five years old I began to be attracted to girls: I liked my neighbor Noemi.
At that time, I was already attending church, because my family has always been Christian. At 7, I sang at the children's choir of the Disciples of Christ church in Bayamon.At that time my family lived well, my parents had businesses and we had a large house with a lady who I will not call a servant because to me she was like my aunt, Titi Sandra. We had some luxuries, not many but enough.
We traveled to other countries for vacation during weekends, etc. , In short, we lived well. At the age of nine, I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, and then my family lost the business for things that happen in life and we moved first to Humacao and then to Caguas, where at 11 years old I was in a coma, which decades later, I found out that as a result of that coma, my brain had been affected in such a way that in essence the doctors told my parents that emotionally (not intellectually) I was going to stay at the age I was when that took place for the rest of my life maybe. But they didn't tell me that at that time. The thing is that also at the same time I wanted with all my soul at that same time to get into boxing as a competitor. I saw in Wilfredo Gomez, Wilfred Benitez and Muhammad Ali my heroes. I wanted to be like them and started going to the gym,
I had a couple of fights as an amateur. For those who do not know, particularly my great friends from Caguas, at that time when we moved to Cayey, two extremely important things happened in my life: I met the love of my life, a girl named Thylvenetssie, who is an American girl of Puerto Rican parents, as she had arrived in Cayey from Boston, Massachusetts.
She liked music and she and her friends Hilda, Ana and Carmen formed a band which sometimes they took the stage of the middle school we all attenced and started singing at lunch, nothing seriously but for them it was serious enough. For my part, I was still in boxing and all that but, Thylvenetssiee and I fell in love, we went out to eat a few times together and then she asked me to join her band and I, in order to keep being next to her all the time, joined them. What followed was unimaginable: suddenly I gained popularity and everyone at school knew us. I enjoyed it because as she had come from the United States, she knew the lyrics of many songs, and me, living with my secret, I not only loved the songs of Van Halen, The Beatles, Menudo and Duran Duran (what a mix haha!) but also those of Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Bananarama too. And not only that but when we became known at school, I had my "fans" also, one in particular was named Maritza and I always remember her because she was always next to me when Thilvenetssiee was not with me.
Through all that, I still went to the gym and trained because I was known as the boxer who sang. In essence I was the only male in a "girl band." But my parents saw that the hospital in Cayey was not very good and decided without telling me that we had to return to Caguas. And one weekend we returned. I wanted, cause of what I just told you about the girl and our band, to go back to school in Cayey, but I couldn't because the government wasn't going to allow me anyway because I now lived in another city. There I rejoined again with my friends and soul mates from Caguas ,and I also liked a girl named Leila.
Then I got into the Ebenezer United Methodist Church, where I was in the adult choir at 14 years old, I also continued with boxing but one day, the night before the fight between Marvelous Marvin Hagler and Sugar Ray Leonard, I had a dream where I died in a boxing match and took it as an omen and decided not to continue with that idea of becoming a boxer. I met a girl named Loyda, and other friends, I started to hang out with a clique of teen friends, I had a great time but something else very important also took place: I fell in love with a girl named Angie. At that time I wasn't used to girls telling me they didn't love me, but when I asked her out, she told me she didn't want to be my girlfriend. that happened on May 20, 1989. My friend Victor must remember because he knew how in love I was and that night I remember Victor phoned me at my home from his, to console me. Then I began to experience depression, I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to commit suicide. On top of that, when my pastor found out that I had begun to visit Angie's church, he told me to continue going to her church and I felt that he had basically told me to stop going to mine (his). I was so desperate that I went and sought medical help from my school psychologist, and the psychologist invited me to his home for a "private session."
Luckily, I did not go because it felt weird, and I knew more or less what he meant, and a month later I found out through the janitor of the school, that the doctor was fired because he had said similar things to other young people at school. Imagine that! But also, during that era, my friends and I were planning to form another band and we even used to go to town to take theater, singing, and dance classes, and because of that and also because of the conversations I had with my parents, with my friends and with my aunt Lourdes who one day grabbed me by my arm and told me "do not do what I would not do" and also because God was with me, I still had hopes and so I survived depression. But nevertheless, there was still that doubt that I had, that unresolved issue: inside myself I had this female voice. I saw myself and felt like Madonna or Molly Ringwald and I did not understand why.
Playing basketball, I saw myself as a girl. Kissing girls, it was the same. Boxing, it was the same. In church praying, hanging with my buddies, singing, it was always the same. In April 1990, we boarded a plane and moved to the United States. I wanted to become an entertainer at that time. When I arrived in the United States, I realized that I also liked boys. I still didn't know that in Puerto Rico, so I was shocked for quite some time. Here I tried to enter the Marines and I went to be sent but when they realized that I have Diabetes when they did my medical, they disqualified me, But I tried at least, and worked as an ice cream salesperson, in the hope of being able to pay my entrance to some talent agency which I achieved after many years.
I was about to marry a girl I met one day when, leaving her house, she ran to me and kissed me and there we met; two weeks later we were in court for the court wedding, but we decided not to do it and we ran out of there. She was a witch, she liked black magic and that and I got into that lifestyle even though I was still a Christian and I was never fully involved in it like her. She was Gothic and I got into the Gothic style too. From then on came the parties, the clubs, the "crazy life". I also found another church here where I started to go but I got into trouble with the pastor because of one spefific rule I disagreed with in that church. The thing is that I was in a group of more or less 20 or 30 different characters: we always went everywhere together and, besides that, I was already in a well-known talent agency working as a model.
But that agency passed into the hands of a group people which some of the other models told me were not reliable and all the models I knew, including me, said goodbye to them and that was that. At that time I had a girlfriend a very beautiful black girl by the way but I wanted to continue in my wild ways and living the crazy life.
A lifetime of meeting famous people such as several ex-Menudo, Wilfredo Gomez, Michael Jordan, Sunset Thomas, Pamela Anderson, Sylvester Stallone, Ringo Starr, two former presidents of the United States and even Princess Anne of England. Of fist fights wherever they found me, of casinos, hotels, of addiction. And another thing: not only did I know I was bisexual but also something else: transgender. I told my sister Nilda a week at the end of 1996, while still dating my fiancée. On a cold December night. (I remember they were showing a soap opera with the beautiful Mexican actress Lucero and when I told her at that time I felt very much like "Lucero" hahaha) By 1999, I asked my doctor to do an operation to change sex, but he denied it based on my Diabetes condition. I continued to play basketball every week, organizing another musical group that I had for a short time here, and leading my crazy life. Until one day I was about to do something crazy against a private property and, after that, the group I hung out with gave me an ultimatum: either I would change or my hanging out with them would end.
I went through rehabilitation, I began to behave better, but little by little that era came to an end. I returned to church but because things that happen in life, I had to move to a house where the church where I live at now is somewhat far away and then, covid also came, and I do not like to go out where there are a lot of people so much. I am still transgender, but recently one of my other aunts (Aunt Raquel and her husband Joe Gomez) spoke to me and now every day I ask God to forgive me for everything I did, for who I am and have been.And the reason why I am writing this here today is not to brag, I am neither proud nor ashamed of my life but there are many people who do not know a quarter of it and someone told me today to talk about it and encouraged me to tell you about it so that everyone knows, but they also said to speak with the truth and talk openly.
Those from Caguas do not know what happened in Cayey, many my family did not know about my time with depression, and neither those of Caguas nor most of my family and friends knew about my transgenderism and that I even own a couple of dressees. Nor about my love history or anything like that. It's time to get courageous and tell the whole truth. Whoever told me to write this, told me to tell the whole truth. And here it is.
I have bounced from one wall to the other, I had love affairs with men and women, (although now I am heterosexual again- I like only girls) I have been popular and I have been ignored, brave and cowardly, and yes I have also been both a man and a woman in spirit, I have been an angel and a demon, healthy and sick I have lived well off and kind of poor too, sung and acted, the latter in film (Eight Legged Freaks) and theater (mostly badly). That is my life, my truth.And every night I pray to God for Him to forgive me. I hope that when it is my turn to speak with Him in eternity, my heavenly Father will forgive me. For at the end of the day I never ceased to be a Christian, to believe in Him and to love Him.
My aunt Raquel still says if I dont stop being transgender I will go to Hell. She does not understand how much this hurts to hear.
submitted by AntonioMartin12 to trans [link] [comments]
And hardly anyone knows the whole story, and that's true. So then I'm going to arm myself with courage and tell everything: And to take whatever comes back my way. When I was born, in Puerto Rico, I was a sickly person. I had among other things, a heart disease. At three years old I began to experience something that I had no idea it was at that time: I did not feel like a boy but like a girl instead. I told my parents but as neither they nor I understood what this was, they told me that I was male etc. By five years old I began to be attracted to girls: I liked my neighbor Noemi.
At that time, I was already attending church, because my family has always been Christian. At 7, I sang at the children's choir of the Disciples of Christ church in Bayamon.At that time my family lived well, my parents had businesses and we had a large house with a lady who I will not call a servant because to me she was like my aunt, Titi Sandra. We had some luxuries, not many but enough.
We traveled to other countries for vacation during weekends, etc. , In short, we lived well. At the age of nine, I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, and then my family lost the business for things that happen in life and we moved first to Humacao and then to Caguas, where at 11 years old I was in a coma, which decades later, I found out that as a result of that coma, my brain had been affected in such a way that in essence the doctors told my parents that emotionally (not intellectually) I was going to stay at the age I was when that took place for the rest of my life maybe. But they didn't tell me that at that time. The thing is that also at the same time I wanted with all my soul at that same time to get into boxing as a competitor. I saw in Wilfredo Gomez, Wilfred Benitez and Muhammad Ali my heroes. I wanted to be like them and started going to the gym,
I had a couple of fights as an amateur. For those who do not know, particularly my great friends from Caguas, at that time when we moved to Cayey, two extremely important things happened in my life: I met the love of my life, a girl named Thylvenetssie, who is an American girl of Puerto Rican parents, as she had arrived in Cayey from Boston, Massachusetts.
She liked music and she and her friends Hilda, Ana and Carmen formed a band which sometimes they took the stage of the middle school we all attenced and started singing at lunch, nothing seriously but for them it was serious enough. For my part, I was still in boxing and all that but, Thylvenetssiee and I fell in love, we went out to eat a few times together and then she asked me to join her band and I, in order to keep being next to her all the time, joined them. What followed was unimaginable: suddenly I gained popularity and everyone at school knew us. I enjoyed it because as she had come from the United States, she knew the lyrics of many songs, and me, living with my secret, I not only loved the songs of Van Halen, The Beatles, Menudo and Duran Duran (what a mix haha!) but also those of Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Bananarama too. And not only that but when we became known at school, I had my "fans" also, one in particular was named Maritza and I always remember her because she was always next to me when Thilvenetssiee was not with me.
Through all that, I still went to the gym and trained because I was known as the boxer who sang. In essence I was the only male in a "girl band." But my parents saw that the hospital in Cayey was not very good and decided without telling me that we had to return to Caguas. And one weekend we returned. I wanted, cause of what I just told you about the girl and our band, to go back to school in Cayey, but I couldn't because the government wasn't going to allow me anyway because I now lived in another city. There I rejoined again with my friends and soul mates from Caguas ,and I also liked a girl named Leila.
Then I got into the Ebenezer United Methodist Church, where I was in the adult choir at 14 years old, I also continued with boxing but one day, the night before the fight between Marvelous Marvin Hagler and Sugar Ray Leonard, I had a dream where I died in a boxing match and took it as an omen and decided not to continue with that idea of becoming a boxer. I met a girl named Loyda, and other friends, I started to hang out with a clique of teen friends, I had a great time but something else very important also took place: I fell in love with a girl named Angie. At that time I wasn't used to girls telling me they didn't love me, but when I asked her out, she told me she didn't want to be my girlfriend. that happened on May 20, 1989. My friend Victor must remember because he knew how in love I was and that night I remember Victor phoned me at my home from his, to console me. Then I began to experience depression, I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to commit suicide. On top of that, when my pastor found out that I had begun to visit Angie's church, he told me to continue going to her church and I felt that he had basically told me to stop going to mine (his). I was so desperate that I went and sought medical help from my school psychologist, and the psychologist invited me to his home for a "private session."
Luckily, I did not go because it felt weird, and I knew more or less what he meant, and a month later I found out through the janitor of the school, that the doctor was fired because he had said similar things to other young people at school. Imagine that! But also, during that era, my friends and I were planning to form another band and we even used to go to town to take theater, singing, and dance classes, and because of that and also because of the conversations I had with my parents, with my friends and with my aunt Lourdes who one day grabbed me by my arm and told me "do not do what I would not do" and also because God was with me, I still had hopes and so I survived depression. But nevertheless, there was still that doubt that I had, that unresolved issue: inside myself I had this female voice. I saw myself and felt like Madonna or Molly Ringwald and I did not understand why.
Playing basketball, I saw myself as a girl. Kissing girls, it was the same. Boxing, it was the same. In church praying, hanging with my buddies, singing, it was always the same. In April 1990, we boarded a plane and moved to the United States. I wanted to become an entertainer at that time. When I arrived in the United States, I realized that I also liked boys. I still didn't know that in Puerto Rico, so I was shocked for quite some time. Here I tried to enter the Marines and I went to be sent but when they realized that I have Diabetes when they did my medical, they disqualified me, But I tried at least, and worked as an ice cream salesperson, in the hope of being able to pay my entrance to some talent agency which I achieved after many years.
I was about to marry a girl I met one day when, leaving her house, she ran to me and kissed me and there we met; two weeks later we were in court for the court wedding, but we decided not to do it and we ran out of there. She was a witch, she liked black magic and that and I got into that lifestyle even though I was still a Christian and I was never fully involved in it like her. She was Gothic and I got into the Gothic style too. From then on came the parties, the clubs, the "crazy life". I also found another church here where I started to go but I got into trouble with the pastor because of one spefific rule I disagreed with in that church. The thing is that I was in a group of more or less 20 or 30 different characters: we always went everywhere together and, besides that, I was already in a well-known talent agency working as a model.
But that agency passed into the hands of a group people which some of the other models told me were not reliable and all the models I knew, including me, said goodbye to them and that was that. At that time I had a girlfriend a very beautiful black girl by the way but I wanted to continue in my wild ways and living the crazy life.
A lifetime of meeting famous people such as several ex-Menudo, Wilfredo Gomez, Michael Jordan, Sunset Thomas, Pamela Anderson, Sylvester Stallone, Ringo Starr, two former presidents of the United States and even Princess Anne of England. Of fist fights wherever they found me, of casinos, hotels, of addiction. And another thing: not only did I know I was bisexual but also something else: transgender. I told my sister Nilda a week at the end of 1996, while still dating my fiancée. On a cold December night. (I remember they were showing a soap opera with the beautiful Mexican actress Lucero and when I told her at that time I felt very much like "Lucero" hahaha) By 1999, I asked my doctor to do an operation to change sex, but he denied it based on my Diabetes condition. I continued to play basketball every week, organizing another musical group that I had for a short time here, and leading my crazy life. Until one day I was about to do something crazy against a private property and, after that, the group I hung out with gave me an ultimatum: either I would change or my hanging out with them would end.
I went through rehabilitation, I began to behave better, but little by little that era came to an end. I returned to church but because things that happen in life, I had to move to a house where the church where I live at now is somewhat far away and then, covid also came, and I do not like to go out where there are a lot of people so much. I am still transgender, but recently one of my other aunts (Aunt Raquel and her husband Joe Gomez) spoke to me and now every day I ask God to forgive me for everything I did, for who I am and have been.And the reason why I am writing this here today is not to brag, I am neither proud nor ashamed of my life but there are many people who do not know a quarter of it and someone told me today to talk about it and encouraged me to tell you about it so that everyone knows, but they also said to speak with the truth and talk openly.
Those from Caguas do not know what happened in Cayey, many my family did not know about my time with depression, and neither those of Caguas nor most of my family and friends knew about my transgenderism and that I even own a couple of dressees. Nor about my love history or anything like that. It's time to get courageous and tell the whole truth. Whoever told me to write this, told me to tell the whole truth. And here it is.
I have bounced from one wall to the other, I had love affairs with men and women, (although now I am heterosexual again- I like only girls) I have been popular and I have been ignored, brave and cowardly, and yes I have also been both a man and a woman in spirit, I have been an angel and a demon, healthy and sick I have lived well off and kind of poor too, sung and acted, the latter in film (Eight Legged Freaks) and theater (mostly badly). That is my life, my truth.And every night I pray to God for Him to forgive me. I hope that when it is my turn to speak with Him in eternity, my heavenly Father will forgive me. For at the end of the day I never ceased to be a Christian, to believe in Him and to love Him.
My aunt Raquel still says if I dont stop being transgender I will go to Hell. She does not understand how much this hurts to hear.
2024.05.16 03:51 desflav Im losing my bestfriend and i don't know what to do
Me (f17) and my best friend (m17) have been friends for almost 4 years, ever sinxe high school started. We've had some ups and downs and stretches of time where we don't really communicate (winter depression on both sides).
Around the beginning of the year in 2023, my best friend started talking to this girl in his class, they hit it off pretty well and became friends. Two months later they started dating and i met her for the first time. She was cool and all, i didn't have any problems with her. I didn't see her often simply because she lived in a different city to ours.
About a month after they started dating, my best friend wanted to introduce his girlfriend to our friendgroup, because she didn't have too many close friends, and our friendgroup was tight (at that point we'd been friends for 2 years). It went super well, she didn't clash with anyone, and she seemed like a genuinely nice and good person.
A couple weeks later, the girlfriend and i started hanging out alone, because we had a lot of similar interests and i wanted to truly be her friend (up until then i only really saw her as my bestfriend's girlfriend). We had a couple sleepovers and we hung out a couple times too.
Near august 2023 they started having relationship problems, the girlfriend would always vent to me afterwards about how she was the one doing all the work and how my bestfriend never put in any effort to make the relationship work... Etc etc
I usually heard her side of the story first, because she has Borderline Personality Disorder and she relied on me a lot when she was having episodes/splitting. Of course i did my best to comfort her and try to help her in any way i could, but it always seemed like she was exaggerating her experience. (I never dated my bestfriend so obviously he could have treated her much different than he ever treated me, and i 100% knew that, and always kept this in mind when talking to either of them)
After, my bestfriend would usually text me about their fights, and it always seemed like his version of events was more realistic and in tune with what i knew of both of them. (I could totally be biased tho, bc this was my best friend for 2 1/2 years vs a girl i barely considered a friend)
They kept having problems and it kept getting worse. Early febuary this year, they broke up, it was messy and i was caught in the middle of it playing mesenger man even though i kept telling them to talk their shit out and leave me out of their relationship issues.
I had basically been turned into the therapy friend, not only for the girlfriend but for my best friend too, and it really took a toll on me mentally and physically. The girlfriend was splitting everyday and threatened to kill herself many times but even when we told her parents they did nothing.
She was texting me every day with her problems and her feelings about their break up, even after i asked her to stop because i needed a break from all this stuff. (My mental health tends to get worse when the people around me are upset. Its also extremely draining when every time i checked my phone, there would be several texts just openly venting to me and waiting for my input/reply. It would have been easier on me if i didnt have to play therapist for her, but whenever she texted me she expected some wisdom or some comfort and it just got to be too much for me)
One day i remember her venting and she asked me for my honest opinion about this whole situation. I sent her a pretty long text (which i will100% admit was rude but idrc) where i stated that both of them were being dramatic (she kept spreading rumors about him, and he would always entertain her drama) and that she needed to either start taking my advice (she always asked for advice but never took it) or she needed to stop venting to me because i didnt care anymore.
She never replied to me, but later on instagram she had publicly posted my long text on her stories, with some bs caption like "its always the one you least expect" but she conviniently erased her text asking for my honest opinion.. which turned some of my friends against me until i could properly explain the situation. I texted her on instagram (she was online) and i went off on her for doing that because thats just shitty. If she had a problem with what i said she very much could have told me and we could have figured it out, but instead she chose to whine about it on a public platform and erase her text where she ASKED for my opinion...
We stopped beings friends and i blocked her. Me and my best friend started hanging out more and everything was fine until today. I got a text from my best friend basically stating that he spoke to her again after a month or so of no contact, and that they spent a long time talking and they're gonna try again. He also said he understood if i didnt want to be his friend anymore. I replied and said its fine/idc if youre friends/trying again with her as long as he doesnt talk about her to me or tries to bring her to group hangouts.
Idk, their relationship was really toxic (both sides) and me and my bestfriend haven't been as close as we were before they got together, even when they broke up it wasn't the same. I feel defeated because he knows what the girlfriend did to me and while it might not seem like a big deal it did basically ruin my friendships for a little while. I know that he has the right to hang out with her if he wants but i just don't feel comfortable with that anymore, i know the logical answer is to stop being friends but he's been my best friend for so long and i don't want to end this friendship on something thats probably stupid/doesnt matter anyway.
He's been my best friend for so long, the longest ive actually had a friend for (moved around a lot), and i feel like im being petty by giving up this friendship, but i genuinely do not want to be around this girl at all and i cant just ignore that theyre back together again...
(I do have other friends that arent associated with this friendgroup so its not like hes my only friend, but its not really the same)
submitted by desflav to offmychest [link] [comments]
Around the beginning of the year in 2023, my best friend started talking to this girl in his class, they hit it off pretty well and became friends. Two months later they started dating and i met her for the first time. She was cool and all, i didn't have any problems with her. I didn't see her often simply because she lived in a different city to ours.
About a month after they started dating, my best friend wanted to introduce his girlfriend to our friendgroup, because she didn't have too many close friends, and our friendgroup was tight (at that point we'd been friends for 2 years). It went super well, she didn't clash with anyone, and she seemed like a genuinely nice and good person.
A couple weeks later, the girlfriend and i started hanging out alone, because we had a lot of similar interests and i wanted to truly be her friend (up until then i only really saw her as my bestfriend's girlfriend). We had a couple sleepovers and we hung out a couple times too.
Near august 2023 they started having relationship problems, the girlfriend would always vent to me afterwards about how she was the one doing all the work and how my bestfriend never put in any effort to make the relationship work... Etc etc
I usually heard her side of the story first, because she has Borderline Personality Disorder and she relied on me a lot when she was having episodes/splitting. Of course i did my best to comfort her and try to help her in any way i could, but it always seemed like she was exaggerating her experience. (I never dated my bestfriend so obviously he could have treated her much different than he ever treated me, and i 100% knew that, and always kept this in mind when talking to either of them)
After, my bestfriend would usually text me about their fights, and it always seemed like his version of events was more realistic and in tune with what i knew of both of them. (I could totally be biased tho, bc this was my best friend for 2 1/2 years vs a girl i barely considered a friend)
They kept having problems and it kept getting worse. Early febuary this year, they broke up, it was messy and i was caught in the middle of it playing mesenger man even though i kept telling them to talk their shit out and leave me out of their relationship issues.
I had basically been turned into the therapy friend, not only for the girlfriend but for my best friend too, and it really took a toll on me mentally and physically. The girlfriend was splitting everyday and threatened to kill herself many times but even when we told her parents they did nothing.
She was texting me every day with her problems and her feelings about their break up, even after i asked her to stop because i needed a break from all this stuff. (My mental health tends to get worse when the people around me are upset. Its also extremely draining when every time i checked my phone, there would be several texts just openly venting to me and waiting for my input/reply. It would have been easier on me if i didnt have to play therapist for her, but whenever she texted me she expected some wisdom or some comfort and it just got to be too much for me)
One day i remember her venting and she asked me for my honest opinion about this whole situation. I sent her a pretty long text (which i will100% admit was rude but idrc) where i stated that both of them were being dramatic (she kept spreading rumors about him, and he would always entertain her drama) and that she needed to either start taking my advice (she always asked for advice but never took it) or she needed to stop venting to me because i didnt care anymore.
She never replied to me, but later on instagram she had publicly posted my long text on her stories, with some bs caption like "its always the one you least expect" but she conviniently erased her text asking for my honest opinion.. which turned some of my friends against me until i could properly explain the situation. I texted her on instagram (she was online) and i went off on her for doing that because thats just shitty. If she had a problem with what i said she very much could have told me and we could have figured it out, but instead she chose to whine about it on a public platform and erase her text where she ASKED for my opinion...
We stopped beings friends and i blocked her. Me and my best friend started hanging out more and everything was fine until today. I got a text from my best friend basically stating that he spoke to her again after a month or so of no contact, and that they spent a long time talking and they're gonna try again. He also said he understood if i didnt want to be his friend anymore. I replied and said its fine/idc if youre friends/trying again with her as long as he doesnt talk about her to me or tries to bring her to group hangouts.
Idk, their relationship was really toxic (both sides) and me and my bestfriend haven't been as close as we were before they got together, even when they broke up it wasn't the same. I feel defeated because he knows what the girlfriend did to me and while it might not seem like a big deal it did basically ruin my friendships for a little while. I know that he has the right to hang out with her if he wants but i just don't feel comfortable with that anymore, i know the logical answer is to stop being friends but he's been my best friend for so long and i don't want to end this friendship on something thats probably stupid/doesnt matter anyway.
He's been my best friend for so long, the longest ive actually had a friend for (moved around a lot), and i feel like im being petty by giving up this friendship, but i genuinely do not want to be around this girl at all and i cant just ignore that theyre back together again...
(I do have other friends that arent associated with this friendgroup so its not like hes my only friend, but its not really the same)
2024.05.16 00:23 Pleasant-Carpet-2000 I (24F) am not happy anymore in my marriage to (27m). Any advice to save my marriage? Really long, sorry!!
I have been with my husband for 7.5 years, married for almost 4. I was 16 when we started dating, he had just turned 20 (3.5 year age difference between us).
May or may not be relevant, but here's some back info. He has been with over 20 women (he has never given me a real number), and I have only been with 5 (one of them being SA). He used to party all the time, and I never did because I had super strict parents and wasn't allowed to go out like at all. Then we started dating and he would still go out sometimes, but I had school (and strict parents) and never got to go with him.
He had 2 long term relationships before me, and they both cheated on him. My longest before him was maybe a month. He had a lot of relationship ptsd from before, so any time something got hard with us, he would "break up" with me and go party. He slept with 2 other girls during different "break ups" and I kissed 1 guy. We got each other promise rings about a year into our relationship, and he lost his at a party about a month later when we got into a fight. I still wear mine to this day. He proposed about 2 years in, and then we got married 2 years later (I was 20, he was 23 at the wedding). Coincidentally, he lost my wedding ring less than a year after our wedding too. (I lost a diamond and he said he took it to get fixed and then never saw it again).
Fast forward, we bought a house a year ago and it has been constant repairs and upgrades, and we both work multiple jobs but still have a 'normal' amount of time off. Up until our big fight last week, he would get home and say he needed time to relax from work and then go to his office and play Xbox for hours on end. If I asked if he wanted something for dinner, he would say he already ate. If I asked him how long he planned on playing games, he would say he would be off soon and then still stay on until 1 or 2 AM. Unless he wanted to be intimate, I was going to bed alone every single night and not knowing when he would join me. I felt like a roommate, and not a wife. I got tired of it...
I confided in a mutual guy friend of ours to get a guys point of view on the situation because I didn't know who else to talk to. I posted on my snapchat a screenshot of a spotify song I was listening to one night last week while crying in bed alone captioned "in my feels tonight" and the next day while I was at work, he called me asking what it was about and shit went downhill from there. I told him I wasn't happy anymore and that I felt like I was missing something in my life.
I don't want a divorce because I really do love him so much! But I don't know if I can be in a marriage where I feel like this. I don't want to be a statistic about young marriages and get a divorce this early on... I love him, but right now I'm not in love with him and I haven't been for a while...
Also, may not be relevant, but I lost my job in March, but picked up more shifts at one of my other jobs and then got an old job back, so I haven't been out of work at all. He says I've been acting different since getting my old job, but I don't think I have. I'm just happier and more relaxed than I was at the job I lost. I work with a lot of guys at this new/old job, but nothing has ever happened with any of them (aside from them flirting sometimes and me loving the attention because I don't get it at home). (Another side note, the guy I confided in works there too) Well, my husband decided to contact to owner and get a job out there too. I was livid about this, and still am. I feel like he is trying to babysit me and invade my happy space, and I've told him that but he still came to work today like nothing was wrong.
What I keep repeating every time he asks me about what to do to fix things, I say I don't know, but I have a lot I need to figure out on my own. I tell him that I had to mature too fast too young and now I'm feeling like I'm missing something. I matured into our relationship instead of maturing on my own, and now I want to experience life on my own. It's like I have an itch I can't scratch. I love being able to say that I have a husband, but like I said earlier, I don't feel like a wife anymore.... We haven't found a marriage counselor yet, but I did get ahold of a counselor that does couples individually so we are going to try that.
And this may change some of your minds on things, but I started to catch some low key feelings for someone in my life, but they know I won't cheat on my husband so nothing will happen between us. I feel like an open marriage for a little bit will help fix things on my end, but I know my husband would never agree to it because he thinks of that as cheating. I haven't brought it up, and I'm not sure if I have the balls to honestly.
Does anyone have any advice for me? What should I do about my marriage? I'd be happy to clarify something if anyone has any questions. I'm writing this while a dozen other things are going on, so I might have missed something somewhere. Please no hateful comments, I'm legitimately looking for advice.
Thanks y'all for reading my rant and for any advice you may have
submitted by Pleasant-Carpet-2000 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
May or may not be relevant, but here's some back info. He has been with over 20 women (he has never given me a real number), and I have only been with 5 (one of them being SA). He used to party all the time, and I never did because I had super strict parents and wasn't allowed to go out like at all. Then we started dating and he would still go out sometimes, but I had school (and strict parents) and never got to go with him.
He had 2 long term relationships before me, and they both cheated on him. My longest before him was maybe a month. He had a lot of relationship ptsd from before, so any time something got hard with us, he would "break up" with me and go party. He slept with 2 other girls during different "break ups" and I kissed 1 guy. We got each other promise rings about a year into our relationship, and he lost his at a party about a month later when we got into a fight. I still wear mine to this day. He proposed about 2 years in, and then we got married 2 years later (I was 20, he was 23 at the wedding). Coincidentally, he lost my wedding ring less than a year after our wedding too. (I lost a diamond and he said he took it to get fixed and then never saw it again).
Fast forward, we bought a house a year ago and it has been constant repairs and upgrades, and we both work multiple jobs but still have a 'normal' amount of time off. Up until our big fight last week, he would get home and say he needed time to relax from work and then go to his office and play Xbox for hours on end. If I asked if he wanted something for dinner, he would say he already ate. If I asked him how long he planned on playing games, he would say he would be off soon and then still stay on until 1 or 2 AM. Unless he wanted to be intimate, I was going to bed alone every single night and not knowing when he would join me. I felt like a roommate, and not a wife. I got tired of it...
I confided in a mutual guy friend of ours to get a guys point of view on the situation because I didn't know who else to talk to. I posted on my snapchat a screenshot of a spotify song I was listening to one night last week while crying in bed alone captioned "in my feels tonight" and the next day while I was at work, he called me asking what it was about and shit went downhill from there. I told him I wasn't happy anymore and that I felt like I was missing something in my life.
I don't want a divorce because I really do love him so much! But I don't know if I can be in a marriage where I feel like this. I don't want to be a statistic about young marriages and get a divorce this early on... I love him, but right now I'm not in love with him and I haven't been for a while...
Also, may not be relevant, but I lost my job in March, but picked up more shifts at one of my other jobs and then got an old job back, so I haven't been out of work at all. He says I've been acting different since getting my old job, but I don't think I have. I'm just happier and more relaxed than I was at the job I lost. I work with a lot of guys at this new/old job, but nothing has ever happened with any of them (aside from them flirting sometimes and me loving the attention because I don't get it at home). (Another side note, the guy I confided in works there too) Well, my husband decided to contact to owner and get a job out there too. I was livid about this, and still am. I feel like he is trying to babysit me and invade my happy space, and I've told him that but he still came to work today like nothing was wrong.
What I keep repeating every time he asks me about what to do to fix things, I say I don't know, but I have a lot I need to figure out on my own. I tell him that I had to mature too fast too young and now I'm feeling like I'm missing something. I matured into our relationship instead of maturing on my own, and now I want to experience life on my own. It's like I have an itch I can't scratch. I love being able to say that I have a husband, but like I said earlier, I don't feel like a wife anymore.... We haven't found a marriage counselor yet, but I did get ahold of a counselor that does couples individually so we are going to try that.
And this may change some of your minds on things, but I started to catch some low key feelings for someone in my life, but they know I won't cheat on my husband so nothing will happen between us. I feel like an open marriage for a little bit will help fix things on my end, but I know my husband would never agree to it because he thinks of that as cheating. I haven't brought it up, and I'm not sure if I have the balls to honestly.
Does anyone have any advice for me? What should I do about my marriage? I'd be happy to clarify something if anyone has any questions. I'm writing this while a dozen other things are going on, so I might have missed something somewhere. Please no hateful comments, I'm legitimately looking for advice.
Thanks y'all for reading my rant and for any advice you may have