I have selective mutism and cannot talk to my mother for various reasons. Im underage and want to go to college, but filling out my fasfa and residency information is stressing me out. I don't know how to get the information I need from my mother, so im asking my brother for help. I can't stop stressing about it though, since I need different types of documents, and I feel guilty for asking. The deadline is in 20 days, what do i do?

I'll try to make it as short as possible,
So one day i randomly got a message from a girl in my college and then we just continued talking and yeah we clocked pretty.
So it continued for 5-6 months and I fell for her ,i didn't tell her or anything but we both knew and noone was courageous,mostly we talked on WhatsApp as our classes were different but everything was going good ,but yeah after that it just went downhill in February for numerous reasons and we were not talking for a days now when we once were talking on daily basis.
So it just increased and the last time I messaged her on 29 April.
But yesterday she out of nowhere send me around 20 photos ,I was shocked when I opened them ,they contained out chat screenshots ,like we used to make stupid stories and do our stupid talk and she used to save them .
So yeah I said that ,haha ,idk why I was acting like that and various things on those photos.
And her reply was ,
'It was so cute and funny , i wish we could do that now' and various things ,
So it's just ,now I feel like she yk kinda wanna talk but I really don't want to as there were few reasons why our friendship went downhill and ik i can't change anything about it so , I am just stuck on What should I do now.

First of all, sorry for my broken English. Not my native language. Please point out if something isn't clear!
It's a nice story tbh. We met 10 years ago, we were in the same friend group. He had a big crush on me but I was a crazy ass 19 y.o. who didn't really care about boys, also I was planning to move to another city (500 km away) - and I did. So in the past 10 years we lost contact, albeit being friends on social media and stuff, and sometimes we would casually meet on nights out with our friends when I came home to visit.
While I was making the rounds of Southern Europe, he started a relationship that lasted approx. 7 years. They were living together and stuff. She's a nice girl, I remember meeting her a couple of times, but she's got a lot of "social" issues that made living together very hard for the both of them. She was in constant need of his presence, and for the last 1.5 year of their relationship he felt more like a father to her than a boyfriend (PLEASE NOTE I have nothing against her and I dont want to make her look bad because SHE'S NOT. If this info wasn't important for the story I wouldn't have shared that). He left her in December 2023, the main reason being that he wanted the relationship to "grow up", think of a family, a bigger house, dogs, kids... but she couldn't even keep a job so he ended things more or less in a friendly manner after trying and trying.
3 months later, in March, I liked a pic he posted on facebook, he sent me a message asking if I was back for good (I am) and basically asked me out on a date. And MAN WHAT A DATE. Everything was perfect, we laughed to the tears, you know when you feel something has clicked and now everything is in its right place? Yeah. We both felt that. So we jumped on this loveboat ride and everything has been great, but we were really rushing things, like I started staying there for the night during the week (aided by the fact that his apartment is 10 mins from my office so it was also covenient for me), he met my parents (by accident tho honestly that wasn't planned, but still) I met his mother, his coworkers, also his boss! He got drunk with my dad! (That was fun haha). I thought that we were rushing things too much but I brushed it off thinking "don't ruin it, if it feels right then let it be", but eventually it came out during a talk we had. We both acknowledged that we'd been getting ahead of ourselves and this was making him uncomfortable, because he didn't really want to end up in another relationship right after ending a 7 year long one, at the same time he thinks what we have is precious and we should cherish it. He wants to see and have a future with me but also wants to take things slow. I agreed, and being the pragmatic little demon I am I had prepared a list of things I thought we should do/stop doing, such as sleeping there on weeknights, parents involved etc, to which he agreed. Also I noticed that he was kind of... I don't really know how to explain, projecting? his ex's persona on me. I noticed that when he was on morning shift (starts at 6 a.m.) and I had spent the night at his apartment, he'd be very worried about me not getting up on time to go to work at 8 (like his ex did) and asked me to send him a message as soon as I woke up. Another thing, there has been a weekend when I was sick, it wasn't that bad, I just had a stomach ache and nausea and needed to go to the bathroom a lot. Well that day it looked like I couldn't even walk for him, he wanted me to stay at home while he was buying the groceries to cook for lunch even though I said I was fine and a trip to the supermarket wouldn't have killed me. I reckon that's because his ex was like that. But I'm not. I'm really an independent person, I've been living by myself for the past six years, I can look after myself! And even though it's lovely to have someone who cares about you, that just felt like having a nanny and not a boyfriend (we also talked about this).
Aprt from that our relationship is great, we discuss things as adults, every discussion/argument ends with a common point. I love this. Also he's the sweetest.
But after the talk we had, and the things we both agreed on, Sunday night we were watching a movie together on his sofa, the movie was over and I said "oh it's 10 pm, I gotta go" and he was like "why don't you just stay here for the night? Your office is basically across the street" I told him that that's exactly what we agreed to avoid, he insisted a bit but then I left.
Now, I don't know what else to do to slow things down apart from to ones I listed and furthermore I don't know how to help him with all of this. He's confused and I can see that, but I trust him and if he said he really cares about our relationship then so it is.
What do you think? What should I do?
Thank you for reading.

• What happened:
I, Being a daily commuter from Vasant vihar bus depot to Goenka public school ( bus stop), i was traveling today by the dtc bus 604 ( DL51GD 3295). As i got on the bus at the VV depot (around 8.20 AM), and the bus started moving, i thought of taking the bus ticket using the one delhi app (as i did not have any cash at the moment). But when i scanned the qr code, the app was showing some error (screenshot attached). I then tried scanning the qr code a few times and then manually entering the code a few times, all in vain. By now, the bus was at the second bus stop. Then i thought of buying the ticket using the dtc whatsapp no. (Screenshot attached) . As i had entered the details and was about to pay, the bus stopped at the third bus stop(Hill area/ mall) and a ticket checker (standing at the bus stop) entered the bus. When the ticket checker asked me for ticket, i told him that i did not have it due to the issues in the app and i was about to buy it by the whatsapp no. But he blamed me and said that i was only buying the ticket now, after seeing him. I told him that thats no true and i was actually trying to buy it since i boarded the bus. Even the uncle sitting in front of me defended me and told him the same thing. But he didn't listen to anything and made me get down from the bus. Next he and the other two checkers start telling me to pay the fine of Rs 200 and go. They say to me, while smirking, '200 rupay dede fir din bhar bus me ghumte rhiyo'. I plead my case to them, told them that i take the ticket everyday and even today i was continuously trying to buy it. They said that all they know is that i don't have a ticket, which means i must pay the fine. I said to them, app kam nahi kr rha tha to isme meri kya galti hai. They replied, to hamari galti hai jo hamne bina ticket ke pakad liya. In the end, i had no choice but to pay them 200 rupees (I had tears in my eyes). I still do not understand why am i wrong. The fine is to teach people to always buy ticket but i was never intending to not buy a ticket. I never tried to cheat the system. I never tried to travel for free.
• About me:
My name is Shubham kumar (17Y M). Currently in class 12th, studying in a coaching institute here at delhi.
Why does the 200rs matter so much to me? First of all, if i actually intended to never buy a ticket and travel for free, and then i was caught and fined, i wouldn't have any problem. But what angers me is that i never did anything wrong and was wrongfully blamed.
Second, I don't earn. Infact, even my father doesn't earn (he had a cyber cafe which closed in covid). All the expenses are borne by my grandfather ( He gets pension. He was an engineer). Here in delhi, we get very limited amount of money each month. That 200 was for groceries of this week. We'll somehow get through but now we'll have to stop buying milk for the rest of the week ig. [ I am NOT asking anyone for money.]
Ps- if anyone has one Delhi app, you can try the code (DL51GD 3295), its still not working.
Tldr: was buying bus ticket online but the app had some issue. Later the ticket checker fined me 200rs even though i told him it was the app's issue.
Thank you for giving me your time.

It’s all I think about all day, everyday. I’m not sick nor am I old in fact I’m healthy and young. But yet all I think about all day is death and my inability to stop it. The fact that me my girlfriend my family and especially I will die. For the past year I’ve done nothing but distance my self from the lord as I study for school exams and it’s haunting me. I’ve always been like this and I go through periods but this is the worst. Usually I have anxiety and stuff but I’m totally fine now but I’ll be in the car driving and I’ll just think about how I’m actually going to be dead in a sense that half the time I don’t even comprehend I will be out of my body and cease to exist. And I’ll just start shaking or screaming or just like 2 seconds and then bang back to normal, same when I’m trying to sleep fine, fine watching a video or something and then boom oh wait you’re gonna die and you can’t stop it and every second you pass being an idiot on your phone or doing anything it’s gone and even if you spend it properly it’ll pass and then you’ll die and guess what I can’t sleep and I lose it inside once again but again only for like 3-5 mins then bang back to normal. I’m sorry I’m dragging this on it’s haunting me. I’ll be talking to someone and not be interested at all I’ll be overtaken by the part that we’re gonna die soon and why aren’t they worried don’t they care don’t then not want to die why aren’t they going to church why are they so calm whilst I can’t keep it together. I don’t know what to do I don’t even know what’s wrong with me I just feel like people aren’t as aware of what’s really happening and the time we don’t get back and the fact we live once and what the heck goes on when we die and how’s it’s going to be and how surreal life is. By the way I am not insane ahah I’m totally normal and fine I’m just in my head and I’ve been like this since I was young I’d just like some advice or idek it just feels nice to see if anyone else is like me. Anyways thank you for reading.
God bless you all,

17f here my best friend 17f and i have been best friends for almost 2 years now I loved spending time with her We were in the same school until last year where i changed college
We live on 15 minutes distance which was never a problem Obviously we had different schl timings ,mine was morning hers afternoon. We wouldn't see eachother but we would meet every 2 weeks or once a month, we'd call everyday and it was never a problem Now tht our high school is over I have started to realise tht she never calls She'll text once in a blue moon it is me who calls On countless occasions i have waited for an entire week, So tht she'll call me but she never does
And we live like only 15-20 mins away Mind you all her exams are over and i still have some competitive exams to appear for
She has friends where she lives she goes out with them which is totally not a issue, it is okay if we can't meet because of plans or any other thing But she yet does not call, She can hang out with whoever she wants to buy she can atleast call me right or maybe even text me
We both have diff friends But I have started to feel as if it is only me who is trying to keep our relation, Like for the last two weeks we have spoken maybe 2 times and it is me who has called And anytime tht she is out she says she'll call me late text me but she never does And this hasn't happened once or twice this has happened many times, ofcourse i don't expect her to talk to me while she is working or out
But I do expect maybe a text If I call her and shes out , she'll say she'll call later, then later she'll text and say I'm really tired and I'll call u tomorrow (understandable) but then she never calls the other day
I really like talking to her With all of my competitive exams still left I can't really go out But she is free and yet she never calls. She is the closest friend I have ever had and this is confusing me
So wibta if I stopped texting/calling her

My first best friend, who I'll call Melissa, and I met in kindergarten and were both 5 at the time. We both looked and smiled at each other. That was the day we became friends and it was the most happiest day of my childhood. I sat next to her and we were hanging out with each other every day.
We would do so many things at school with each other. We would sit on the carpet to play with the items the teacher put out for the class each morning. We would always do fun activities in the gym. We would sit at lunch, laugh about funny things we told each other, and hang out at recess every day. My favorite moment was when we were on the swings to see who would go the highest and just look at each other and smile. We did go to other parts of the playground but the swings was our favorite.
When we weren't in a classroom together with our teachers due to them having a different assigned classroom, we would still hang out in lunch and in recess because they released everyone at a certain time by grade level. For example, if we were in 1st grade and students were in a different classroom, the 1st graders would all be released at the same time while the other students in different grades remained in the same classroom. So even if Melissa and I were in different classrooms, we would always meet up and have a great time.
In 3rd grade, I found this girl who I'll call Leah. Leah and I would do pretty fun things together since we were in the same classroom and were hanging out with each other, but I'd still go and hang out with Melissa sometimes. I introduced Melissa to Leah and we basically became a friend group, or at least I thought it was a friend group.
During this time I was constantly having to pick sides with some of our things we were making up as kids. First, it was who I was to sit with at lunch. (Sometimes I wasn't lucky enough to sit with either of them because of a rule where we had to sit in a boy-girl pattern to apparently make everyone quieter during lunch time.) Then it was with some group or clan we made up during recess, Melissa was in "unicorn squad" and Leah was in "girl squad" (I made up the name of girl squad.) I would try to bring them both together but Melissa's friends and Leah's friends didn't get along too well. I had no other best friends besides the both of them and it kinda broke my heart to see them not get along as well as I was with them. Then on a very traumatic day in fourth grade that I still regret for the rest of my life, Melissa and Leah both came up to me and said "You have to pick one best friend." I said I wanted them both to be my best friends but Leah kept pushing that I only pick one. Then we made up a stupid contest to see who would win (my idea) and I was a little tired of it and made Leah win. I have never seen such a sad look on Melissa's face when we were about to leave for home. I ran after her and apologized, I tried to comfort her and I think it worked since we stopped the argument.
Later on in the year of 4th grade, Melissa and Leah had some new friends they were hanging out with. I was fine with it at first, but seeing as their friends were experiencing many joyful moments with my best friends without me, I grew hatred towards their friends. I became jealous of what they were doing. I tried everything as a 9 year old girl could possibly do to keep the relationship going between me and my best friends. I still sat with both of them at lunch and joined them in recess. When they were busy hanging out with their friends, I was left alone, wandering around the playground, doing the things my best friends and I used to do but alone this time. It became depressing just thinking about memories of me and my friends playing together in the past and having fun. Now I had to have fun but alone as I watch my best friends have fun with theirs instead of me. I became even more depressed and angry seeing other random friendships because they were having fun and not me. I felt so alone, hurt, betrayed, so much emotion. This grew into more extreme hate towards the friends of my best friends.
In 5th grade, I did everything I could to have fun with them, but for some reason, something felt off. We hung out less. We didn't sit at lunch every day. Then I found out something shocking. Leah was hanging out with other girls who would give her lunch money, (I gave her lunch money for quite a long time now so we would get snacks with my money I gave her) and was making videos with these girls. I then hated the girls because apparently in my mind, they were controlling and possessing my friend. They stole her away from me. Leah and I still hung out and I considered her my friend because I didn't understand the concept of being used for money. Leah would always invite me to make videos but I wasn't comfortable. I realized how much of a fake friend she was but I still gave her a chance to change but never happened. I went to hang out with Melissa more after this but this felt a bit off too. She was hanging out with this one girl a lot. She seems pretty happy to be with her instead of me more. Melissa was into anime and I wasn't, so that drifted us apart but I didn't see it. I wasn't really into any of my best friend's interests because I was still depressed and full of rage against these girls. I grew to hate everyone and everything and I only wanted to be with Melissa.
It was near the end of the year when I went to go with Melissa in the playground where we always used to go, the swings. She constantly kept moving away, switching swings of just walking away from me. This hurt a lot coming from a close friend like her. I went to hang out with Leah because I still had no friends besides the two of them. Leah as well, left me behind and I was there alone again. All this just fueled my anger against everything. I hated other people, I hated activities, I hated everything, including myself. I thought this was weird since I didn't express my hate that badly towards these other girls, although I did want them to through horrible and horrendous things because in my mind, they were stealing my friends. They took away the people who made me happy. I was getting worse from my mental health because I wanted nothing but my happiness and my best friends back. I had a few thoughts of kidnapping my best friends so they could be with me forever. I would be happy and experience all the happy moments we would share together again. It was pointless anyway because I was just a 10 year old and couldn't do anything.
During these final months before everyone was all homeschooled for a year, I noticed whenever I tried to be with Melissa, she moved away from me again. I tried many times to catch up with her but she continued moving away. I thought absolutely nothing of it because of a funny joke by the teachers saying we hung out too much and we should be separated. I found it funny because at the time, our friendship was strong and I thought nothing would ever separate us from having fun. So I just thought about it as if she was playing around with that joke. I gave up catching up after Melissa because I was tired and I thought she was playing the joke on me. It turns out, I overheard something she said and she said I was too clingy. I didn't know what it meant and I thought she said a funny word and thought nothing of it. Later on she asked me for a break. I said that it was fine and I thought she meant a break for one day (I thought breaks were meant to be short at the time) and we left each other alone.
It came a few days later where she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I then went to hang out with Leah, who I didn't hang out with for a long while, said she also didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I was broken by their words but I just thought it was all a joke to me, because I thought it was dumb to unfriend someone for hanging out with them every day.
Fast forward to 6th grade where we were homeschooled for a year, I was full of hope that I was going to be friends with Melissa again after a long time. Then came 7th grade where I was 12 and I continued to sit with her at lunch again, but this time I felt nothing. There were no fun conversations like we usually had back in elementary. I just felt like I wasn't meant to be there. I still felt the same loneliness, rage, and sadness back like I was in 5th grade. That's when I finally realized I was no longer her friend, and I had so much hate in myself for taking a year to realize I had been blind to all of this. I never felt so much sadness like that in my life. The two friends I had left me, I was really depressed by this reason, and now I constantly question myself wondering what I did wrong. I still grovel over them both. It's been a few years now. Did I do something wrong?

I'm interested in this person & most times this person responds to me with 'ok' via text... Like I actually hate the word...especially when I'm texting with passion or texting with full sentences and the person just responds with 'ok'. Like what is that? It's very frustrating especially when you've mentioned it to the person a few times. They stop for a couple days and then go right back to it.
Now I know I may be acting a little bit dramatic and that's probably how they are with texting but I can't help it. It just triggers me. The funny thing is, the person isn't like this in person, they're actually the complete opposite, so it confuses me😩
Is this an ADHD thing or am I just sensitive. Lol

Hi! So I met this guy on bumble, mukhang good boy na brainy ang dating based sa profile niya. We started talking everyday then lumipat kami sa TG, almost 6 months kaming magkausap online tho hindi consistent na everyday, more like every other day kami nag-uusap pero okay lang kasi busy din ako sa work. Nag-meet kami once for dinner lang which went well naman and nag-hug kami bago umuwi. After that, nagkita ulit kami pero 2 months after the first meeting pa kasi medyo magkalayo kami, hindi pa kami nag-sex nyan kasi may period ako, then 2nd and 3rd meet nag-sex na kami and he’s my first, alam nya yun. I like him so much and he seems like a good guy based na rin sa mga na-stalk ko about him. He’s close to his mom and little cousins, lahat ng nakwento nya sakin na-confirm ko na totoo naman while stalking him. Isa lang problema ko sakanya, wala kaming label. I asked him before, wala akong nakuhang direct na answer from him. Idk what to do, should I ask him again, or should I stop this… but I like him very much 😥

I'm not the best at speaking with people in online games, i just get anxious. I'm not looking for any handouts, but more somebody to show me a few things for an hour or 2. I play Fo4 and have played 3 and NV but am quite new to 76.
I started and over 2 days got to level 10. Joined some events, did one crazy one, I died and nobody revived me. I got back there and I waited for the bigger dudes to loot everything and went around grabbing what was left. Ammo, stimpacks and food i needed more. There was a gun higher then my level on a dead enemy. This dude harassed me non stop talking smack and following me round like a mad man doing emotees and jumping all around me also messaging. If he said 'Bro I was waiting for that drop please let me have it' I'd have done it without hesitation but this is the sort of stuff why I dont bother with people online.
I really want to do a few events to open a couple of fast travel spots because im at a point where im low on ammo and stims, and getting wrecked while trying to just get around to quests. Also the whole camp and season thing is a new to me, theres a few things I could use advice with if its ok.
I am on Xbox, and will hop on later on today. Anyone welcome and I have a mic

The Context:

/Barcelona is the main sub for the second largest city in Spain and the capital of Catalonia. Long a tourist hotspot, much of the local economy is driven by tourism.
OOP posts a picture of graffiti in a park with the message: “Tourist: your luxury trip my daily misery.” [sic]
Users begin debating if this is a fair take, the effect of tourism on the city, and vomiting memes.
For ease of readability to a majority English-speaking audience, I’ve translated some comments from Catalan, poorly.

The Drama:

Is the graffiti expressing a selfish sentiment?

What a selfish, shitty thing to say to someone trying to live their best lives and share a bit of the magic you enjoy everyday.

Love this comment! Not all tourists are bad.

Tourism is unsustainable.

So we should all just stick to the respective cities we’re born in? What a lovely, thriving, multi-cultural society that’ll end up in /s

Not all the cities have the same problems. Responsible tourism is a thing

[Continued:]

Then why don't you vote for politicians that want to improve the situation?
Tourism tax, restrictions on how many people can visit a park/attraction per day, etc pp.
Instead you get nonstop whining on reddit. Or shared bicycles that can only be rented by Barcelona residents. Wow, good job! The tourism tax is at only 4-5€ per night in Barcelona. Compare that to Berlin where it's a whopping 7% soon (which is usually way higher than 5€).

Who did tell you who I vote for or what I do? [If you want we can talk face to face when you want clown]

Oh no, we got a badass over here. [I didn't say anything like that, of course you tourists are the problem if your head lacks intelligence...]

[It's very good to learn Catalan (good luck with what you have left to reach a decent level, I'm really telling you this with love) but don't put words in other people's mouths without knowing. There are many of us here who are fed up with the borderline situation that the city is living in and if you are a privileged person who doesn't get the slightest bit, I would at least ask you to have the decency to keep quiet when it's time to keep quiet]

[…]

No. We should stop travelling at the expense of the plane, the cities and the people's suffering. And locals should resist what makes their lives more difficult. In this case, a tourist model that hikes rents, contaminates and destroys the social fabric of the community displacing people and creating precarious jobs that provide no stability or value. Barcelona can be a great and fun place if you are staying here for a week, or if you are a remote worker that gets paid by a large firm with headquarters in Amsterdam. But that fun can be, and is, disastrous for other people. That search for sun and beach, of parties and stories uploaded to social media causes many problems for others. That's a fact. Non-sustainable tourism is what it is. Tourists and expats (high earning migrants) can be, individually, very nice and conscious folks. But the dynamics they are participating in are the cause of many problems for the city and its inhabitants.
[It's the market, friend.]

[…]

The problem isn't the singular tourist. The problem is suffocating hordes of tourists that treat your home like an amusement park or museum.
Tourism can be a real economic win for a city, but it also has externalities that can kill the very thing that made it special if not kept in check. Barcelona is a great example of this.
I say this both as someone who loves to travel and who lives in a tourist hotspot.

I mean, there is not too much you can do about it besides a ridiculous tax, and that would be a little hypocritical if you love to travel, because traveling should be accessible to the majority of people.
It makes sense to me if you defend the free market, and you put the price on your city or whatever you want to do like a libertarian, but again,it is hypocritical when we see that the political party that won the elections do not like the free market or libertarian politics.
You can't have all.

Woooosh!
That's the sound of everything going over your head

Lmao, it is the definition of being a logical thinker and not being a hypocrite.

Oh sorry, it went so over your head, that you didn't even hear the whoosh.
You're talking politics when I was talking social and economic. So, not much of a logical thinker.
But it doesn't surprise me that Barcelona would vote that way. It's called the resource curse, and by now tourism will have all but killed all other industries. So yeah, they have no choice now. Which is exactly what I was talking about in my second paragraph.

Who are the users of the sub anyway?

Because 90% of the people answering are expats. They don't fucking care about locals, they mostly despise or ignore them. Most of them live in their own English ghettos, not even bothering about anything else that themselves.

Biggest load of horseshit I’ve read all day.
You live in fantasy land and it’s really, really sad to see. I hope you open your eyes one day.

[How is your Catalan?]

[my Catalan is good. not that it matters]
Nobody “despises” Catalans. Every single person I know that has moved here is desperate to get involved with local culture, history and activities. They try their hardest to learn the language. They try their hardest to make more catalan friends.
Classic Reddit perpetual victim.

Is Barcelona dying?

Barcelona is dying. Soon it will be an empty city, a shiny shell of what had once been alive and authentic. The locals can't face the rent prices, the gentrified shops and bars, we are forced to leave our neighborhoods and give up decent housing.

Looking at rent availability and prices - it is very far from dying.

Are you looking at the prices as a foreigner or as a local? Because wages in Spain for most of us are quite poor, so yes, it's really difficult to find decent housing with those prices

And yet people don't do anything like moving away meaning situation is still not that bad.
When things like that happened in my country - a lot of people emigrated for better work and things normalised at home too.
Economy has a way of fixing itself. No workers to serve tourists - higher wages or fewer tourists.

It will only be expats and tourists here and the 10% rich Catalans in the end. Look at the most common local salary from locals in the city.

You're so close to understanding the root of the issue. Yet so far...

Yeah, it's all the fault of the 10% of evil Catalans. OK. Nobody else is responsable or can do anything.

[Continued:]

Think a little bit harder. You can do it.

[You're enlightening, kid.]

I give you the answer because you're obviously struggling. It's the wages. Your salary is shit, and there's no excuse for that because you live in a rich region, of a rich country, part of a rich continent.
And once again, one of the greatest success of those profiteering is to turn people like you into the useful idiots by pointing the finger to people from your own social class: in this case, the Ryanair flying middle to low income tourists (yeah, far from luxury holidays), who are the majority of the people visiting this city. And with whom you have much more in common than you realize.
While prices have increased, as it did everywhere around the globe, Barcelona remains a cheap city. And that's exactly the reason why it is such a popular destination across the spectrum of tourists, and especially with low income ones.
So, if you really want to change something, start asking yourself why wages are so low in such a rich region. And at an individual level, negotiate (like I did) an income worth your efforts. And if it's still not enough, keep in mind that 80% of the properties are owned by locals.

You don't know shit about how I fight, or any people like me for a more fair society. Probably way more than you. But this post is about overtourism and touristification. I can care about multiple things and fight multiple fights.

Then this conversation is over, you don't have the intellectual bandwidth to understand something as simple as how low wages are linked to the problem you blame "the tourists" for. Also, if me, an immigrant from a poor Caribbean country, is able to live significantly better than you in a place where I arrived few years ago without speaking the language, ask yourself the right questions about your fighting abilities, and probably your life choices.

[Continued:]

Lol you know shit about who I am, my life choices, or the money I earn. Your comment is funny.
I'm a socialist. I care about my family and friends, about people who had less oportunities than me. I despise people who only think about themselves, or fight only for themselves. The last part of your comment says a lot about you. Bye.

Sure, keep telling yourself that you're a socialist while defending a xenophobic agenda benefiting the ruling class. Like I said, useful idiots like you are what's keeping the system on its feet. Great work 👍

A user is crowned king:

When your own city becomes overcrowded all the time and you can’t afford to live in the center because it’s so expensive due to tourist/expats money inflating the market, it doesn’t matter how much money “the city” makes from tourism, your individual life is affected very negatively and you live worst off than with less tourism. I’m not even a local, but this is not hard to understand.

can’t really blame tourists for systemic issues

Erm, says who, you, the king?
If local wages are lower than abroad (not ideal but would be ok in its own, it’s still better than my own country) but due to how attractive the weather and culture is, people from other countries with much higher wages flock here and destroy the market, either by paying much higher (making it impossible for locals) or buying properties to rent (know many who do this, buy something, live in it 3 months of the year, and rent to other expats the rest of the year) - who’s fault is? The locals? lol

then fight for wages, not tourists.

This is why the locals hate you lol

[Continued:]

This is why I don't care bro.
[Photo of a beach]

What are you trying to prove? I’m not even a local, I just have more than a brain cell and understand why the locals blame the tourists, which is what was being discussed.

Nothing mate, I just really don't care who hates me. That is my day everyday at 11 am.

You care enough to have made now 3 comments that are totally irrelevant to what was being discussed.
“I don’t care. I swear. I promise! Let me show you that I don’t care. I really don’t care I swear”.

[…]

People working in tourism related jobs mostly work part-time, have no indefinido contracts and earn minimum wage. You can google that.
Some people are getting rich by tourism, most people are just surviving in it.
But of course 'expats' and tourists who represent most of the sub members and not local or immigrant workers are going to upvote your out of touch comment.

Some of these people need it to survive though

Not the Airbnb owners obviously

I have an Airbnb and I need it to survive.

Get a job.

What is misery?

Misery is that your old neighborhood is full of souvenir shops and none of your friends even live there anymore.

Shut the fuck up, Spain has one of the highest living standards in the world. You’re mad because other people want to visit and have a bit of it in their shitty lives? Spain has it so damn good, the thing youre complaining about is literally a problem around the entire developed world and isn’t necessarily any worse or unique to Barcelona. Stop being so damn dramatic and accept that your ‘misery’ is just you disliking seeing foreigners happy.

If you can afford spending hundreds of euros in partying and Airbnbs, why is their life so shitty? Leave your jobs and come work here as a server, try to rent anything with the minimum salary. Barcelona can be a paradise, but the tourist model is making it a hell for the majority.
Yeah, the market is being a problem for everyone everywhere. Now, people in Barcelona have to fight against the effects of the market in the city. As everybody should do in their home cities. A Barcelona for those who build their lives there, not for those who wish to consume and toss it.

Something tells me, me, a guiri, leaving my job and working in Barcelona makes Catalans even more mad than if I were just visiting.

And that something is in the room, here with us?
in fact if you live and work in Catalonia you are a Catalan. so this comment makes 0 sense at all.

Who’s to blame anyway?

Classic losers playing the victim card. Without tourism beautiful Barcelona's economy would be destroyed. But please keep blaming your shortcomings on others.

Barcelona was beautiful before tourism.

If you live in Barcelona, enjoy it. It is and will always be beautiful, and if you truly believe otherwise you are wasting the time you have in one of the world’s greatest cities. Times are tough, yes, but remember that people are also having tough times in the middle of nowhere, without any cultural outlets or ability to find likeminded people. Real estate greed is running rampant the world over, and hopefully it will not last.
Be a part of the solution, never travel again please. Just spend the rest of your life in Barcelona like a hermit. Otherwise you're a fucking hypocrite.

Hypocrite is thinking that tourism is good for the locals.

Ok great. Then be a part of the solution and never travel again. It hurts the locals. Been to London? Been to Berlin? Been to Italy? Greece? Cairo? Are you going to stop travelling and seeing the world? Everyone here knows perfectly well that you won't. It's just childish whining

The Flairs:

• “But I don't eat and vomit memes like you…”
  
• “Stop getting your news from memes”
  
• “You don't know shit about how I fight”
  

19,f never went out with friends. not that im not an outspoken or friendly person, got a pretty good friend circle extremely talented supportive and hardworking people. they go out all the time and dont have to constantly update their parents on slightest minute plan changes.
first time getting along with people and them instanly making plans of going out was weird but in a jealous weird and questioning. it was later i figured their parents do not ask every detail of their day, who they met, what they had, why were they 5 min late. they dont pick and drop them everywhere they have schedules. and it was after a week or hanging out that i realised, it was me living a diffent life than everyone out there. and it broke me cus that was the point i realised that in the name of protectiveness and security and ease in commutation, they just snatched my independence from me.
they provide for me and i cannot begin to thank them enough for it, pursuing a professional study and doing good at it, always supportive. but that day i sat down and got to a conclusion that if i were to upset my parents or do not do things how they want me to do, i'd lose everything. and that has happened. asked to go out with friends, note that all of my friends come from dignified background humble and kind and educated and themselves are pursuing professional studies. never asked them before so expected there wont be a problem. was in dilemma that i dont go out cuz i dont ask to go out. often picture myself as a bird in cage unaware that shes trapped unless she tries to get out. yea so access to outside without them denied. reasoned a bit on why not. they got mad and yelled and said pretty harsh things. i was in school then and it was for the teacher's birthday. we loved her dearly and she was moving out of country. i was sure they'd let me so made plans and everything cancelled last minute cried whole evening and night. that was when it started. when the bird realised she isnt in a room but a prison.
gave a couple more tries here and there. same answers. silent treatments. refused to enroll me in the course im currently pursuing initially, calling it a financial issue. and yea there were and are financial issues but hey, grasped what was going on and did everything their way. cut ties with everyone except two friends who theyve met plenty more times than others and did as they said. regular classes, not questioning them, spending time with them. enrolled and in classes after six months.
met a guy and he was good. wanted to take me on a date. i knew they wouldnt let me go. took it slow and introduced him as my friend. asked me to cut ties with him. i kinda liked him. we had good undertanding he's help me with studies and confide about his family and life in general and i thought i can date. i wanted to date him. see where it goes like every other teenager who go out on dates after classes and study and support each other. they didnt wanted me to see him or anyother guy even as a friend. deleted every guy friend of mine's contact. we still were seeing each other until i got so burnt out of the constant watch and professional studies and competitive exams also all while managing a degree. had to break ties with him for a couple while and i admittedly couldve done with proper explanation but it was a panic attack, yeah i did starting having them right after school when everything crashed down, so panic attack with all tears and snot and heavy breathing i leave him a text that i cant do this.
fast forward today. exams done. some professional practical work everyone has to take up and my father as usual would pick me up and drop me. yesterday a friend of mine suggested we buy new books and get some food after work was done which is 1:30. i thought now that im old enough, cus the last time i tried asking was 16, maybe i can go. they said yes when asked in morning. 1:45pm text comes in. where u at. when will you be back. gave a location where he'd pick me up after we're done with books things. im at metro station, shaking, holding that ticket beacuse it was all over that again. they let me go but did they? call comes in when i dont reply in 5 minutes. he asks when will i be back upto. on saying by 4, he went why books need so much time. denied that i ever mentioned lunch too. i remember saying lunch and books. couldnt argue, not used to, dont want to upset them. two of my friends waiting for the metro so we go grab lunch and spend some time for the first time in about a year since we met, and im shaking cus its so humiliating and like. this close to crying when he hung up without saying anything further and mum texts in 2 mintes asking me to come back home rn this instant. manage to apologise and run through the station, get a cab and run home in 20 min. 2:20pm. at home. i dont if im though. in my bathroom. crying shaking of embarrassment, humiliation, guilt, frustation, anger. and hunger.
also, crossed path with the guy i was seeing. he had his guitar, he used to play for me after completing studies. killed me to pass by with just a hey and by the looks of it, he was upset about it too. everything keeps falling apart everytime i accomplish one thing.
i dont know if this is how parenting is supposed to be done because none of ppl i know have such parents and controls. so its not normal but is it abusive? i question and then go to sleep cus the obvious answer would disrupt the peace im holding on to. the good side of them keeping me sane.
if you've taken much time to read it through. thank you. i dont have anyone to share this with and im so lonely at times like this

I just started medication so I’m still discovering a lot of its impacts.
Usually I have a very active and vivid imagination.
For example, I will hear a sound in the room and it will trigger an invented melody or even harmonies in my head. I hear music all day long and it also triggers images/scenarios. I have also “practiced” immersive day dreaming as far as I can remember. And I mean IMMERSIVE.
I usually picture invented situations, using characters and topics I’m very interested in, often with what I perceive as complex music. The daydreaming used to be maladaptive (I would miss school, not do my work, get late to events and not sleep/eat/rest. It involves pacing in the room, mouthing dialogues and a lot of jumping and some running.) I could daydream for 8 hours in a row, which is of course very bad. Nowadays I considered my daydreaming immersive but no maladaptive, for 1-2 hours a day for my entertainment.
I love daydreaming, it sometimes gives me sad feelings if I’m in a bad place, but 90% of the time It’s giving me very intense joy, because I daydream about things I’m so interested in. I don’t see time passing when I do it and I can struggle to get out of it and go on with my day. It feels the same as hyperfocus to me.
I also daydreaming all day long while I do other things. My mind is effectively doing two things at once. I thinks it helps me not getting bored when I’m doing it alongside something else. Still this daydreaming is immersive as well and I sometimes need to take breaks in what I’m doing when I’m getting too interested in the dream, then I go back to “multitasking”. I think it makes me less efficient in my everyday tasks, it distracts me and makes me slower even though I enjoy it. And it feels out of my control to an extent.
Since I started the medication (one week ago) it just stopped! I also feel like I struggle much more with audiation and picturing things in my mind. Don’t get me wrong , I can still get lost in my thoughts, but it’s mainly a single monologue and much less vivid pictures/sounds. Even though I miss the experience, it has helped me to function better.
I got diagnosed recently so I have some questions:

1. Is this type of daydreaming common in most people?
2. If not, can it be an adhd symptom ?
3. Has anyone stopped or greatly reduced daydreaming on medication ?
4. If I stop the medication in the future, will I be able to daydream vividly like I use to/ go back to my old self?
5. Did your perception of music change on medication ? I feel like I was able to dissect the music and follow a lot of the separate voices composing the harmony. I never had to work or train for it. But now I hear music more as a « block » if that makes sense? I truly don’t think I’m imagining this, it feels like my brain is prioritising the global sound instead of perceiving several details at once.

Basically at like 1 am I woke up becuz I felt something on my hand and I saw my sister's boyfriend holding my hand. I'm naturally an awkward person so I tried to pretend to be sleep and roll away. But that didn't stop him. He touched my butt and then got close to me under the covers. I froze up for a solid minute then scooted far away. He left after that.
We didn't speak the entire time it happened and I cried. I feel dirty and guilty and scared. About 20 minutes after he left he came back. He touched me again and this time I immediately moved. He left and came back once again but I was sitting up instead of laying down and he left before actually coming into my room.
I'm scared that he'll come back. I'm scared that wasn't his first time touching me. If so, what else has he done or touched while I was sleep? I don't know how I will be able to look at him or my sister tomorrow.
I am pretty sure I am safe for tonight because my sister got home not too long ago, anways I think I just needed to process what just happened before I could fall asleep.

I have a problem with intune on Macs where it seems like it randomly decides if it will grant access to a user or not.
First one of our users on mac reported that on Safari, they couldn't access company sharepoint. Purging cookies and all that jazz didnt help the issue but since it worked in Edge, the user started using edge instead.
Wanted to blame this strange occurance on Safari but few days later a different user had the same problem with OneDrive client on Mac OS, it said something along the lines of the sign in being succesfull but that the user can't access it, it did work in browser. Everything else works, Teams, Outlook, even sharepoint in safari but OneDrive just won't let her in. All of our users have the same compliance policy assigned, all of our users do but only the two mentioned had this issue. In the second case, Onedrive worked just fine a day before, then it just decided to stop.
COuld it be caused by something in a keychain? We do use MFA and I also tried resetting MFA for the affected user but onedrive still acts the same. Any advice is more then welcome

M28, I've been single for about 3 years now. Working remote, stay at home like 95% of my time and just occupy myself with the same old things after work, like games or TV.
Every night, without fail, I have a dream that I am in a happy relationship. That I have somebody to share my life with. Sometimes they are people I recognize, sometimes they don't really take physical forms, but they feel very real and I get truly emotionally attached.
And then I wake up and the depression sets in. I am not always immediately upset, I recognize my life as my own, sometimes it will take me a few hours to remember the dream (and relationship) I experienced the night before. So, I suddenly will get a wave of grief as if I lost something dear to me during the day. Of course I am feeling that way over something my own imagination created.
Anyway, how do I stop having dreams? I used to be able to stave them off by smoking a ton of weed before bed but lately that doesn't seem to be doing anything. It is quite exhausting to have my mind and heart working in conflict like this.

I’ve been taking this medicine for 2 months and a week. 20 mg per day the first month and now I’m on 40 mgs per day.
I see no progress, every pimple that shows ups scars after, and yes I use sunscreen to try to avoid further pigmentation.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. My acne was never this bad, I’m just so sad and feel so ugly.
Here is what my problematic cheeks look like now, much worse and no progress since I started.
To be fair I feel like my right cheek has been bad since the start and have recently stopped being raised, but my left cheek just started purging 😂
😭😭😭😭😭

People ruminate on the past, who’s wronged them, and the things that are absent from their lives. People imagine past events as though they are still happening now. They use who they were in the past to define their future.
The issue with defining oneself in the present from your past is that it keeps you bound to the past. This self-imposed limitation asserts that everything about your past determines how you will behave in the future. Your future hasn't been written yet. The decisions you make will continue to shape who you can be.
When you are a child of an alcoholic, you learn from a very young age the signs to look for so you aren’t in the line of fire when the next violent episode occurs. And the feared incident always happens. Consequently, you become conditioned to react to these indications.
As an adult, you see evidence that because bad things have happened in the past doesn’t mean more bad things will happen. Not every slurred speech or stumbling from another person will cause harm. Therefore, you can determine that the past doesn’t have to repeat itself.
Although this may take time to realize, it doesn’t have to. You’re shaped by your past. The good news is, you aren’t bound to it. You can move beyond the difficulties of the past and into something far better. The main reason you don’t have to repeat the past is because you can learn from it.

While we cannot predict the future, we will most surely live it. Every action and decision we take - or don't - ripples into the future. ~ Jacque Fresco

Your Mindset Determines Your Future

You often have feelings and attachments to the past. The past can be hard to let go of, and it affects you emotionally. Yet you have a choice to make, an option to choose a different outlook, a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.
The fixed mindset is the idea that you believe your attributes and abilities are inherently fixed and can’t be changed. For example, you may think that you’re as smart as you’ll ever be and therefore, that thought process causes you not to even try to learn new things. Since you don’t believe your intelligence can grow with time and experience, then you can’t change, and your future will be the same.
A growth mindset is the exact opposite. This mindset is founded on the conviction that your basic abilities can be cultivated and are malleable. This allows one to grow with enthusiasm, time, and a commitment to improving, learning, and becoming greater than before. With a growth mindset, failures are short-term setbacks, and the process is usually more important than the outcome. So, with a growth mindset, your future is never predetermined. It’s boundless.
The fixed mindset is the most common mindset and the most harmful. So, you need to know which mindset you favor so you can learn from the past and then choose a different future. You can change your mindset just by thinking it through.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. ~ Mary Pickford

Reframing Your Past To Better Serve You

Your world is the one you make through your decisions. So is the one you remember from your past. Change the significance of the experiences if what you remember is difficult or negative. Examine the experiences that are preventing you from moving forward and try to see them from a more positive perspective. Reframe your rejection, to believe it was a sign from the Universe directing you to a better place. If you have ever failed at something, consider it a lesson in building resilience for a better future.

Accepting your history serves as a springboard and a means of getting ready for the future once you can no longer imagine a better ending for it. The way you identify who you have been and how you envision who you will be next, combine to form who you are today. Take care of the narratives you accept and write about yourself. Take deliberate steps to embrace the lessons learned from the past and the opportunities that lie ahead. 

These are the components of who you are right now. The gifts that make up your current existence have been your experiences. A clear vision for your life is essential, as you attract what you focus on. Your destiny is entirely within your control. Even if you can't control everything in life, you can still do great things if you accept responsibility, grow from your mistakes, and have a clear vision.

There are times in our lives when we have to realize our past is precisely what it is, and we cannot change it. But we can change the story we tell ourselves about it, and by doing that, we can change the future. ~ Eleanor Brown

Everybody Changes; So The Future Will Differ From The Past

As an adult, you have experienced enough of life to see that one constant is change. You grow, circumstances transform, people develop. All of this is observable. Therefore, if everybody changes, then the past can’t indicate the future.
Even those around you that don’t seem to have the desire to grow still change. They are based on the circumstances that occur in their life and by the choices they make. Not making a choice is still choosing, which impacts one’s life that doesn’t allow things to stay the same. Thus, despite a lack of growth, the future will differ from the past.
As you develop, how you perceive the past is altered and reframed. You learn from the past and determine ways to prevent unwanted situations. You make informed decisions and take responsibility for your choices, so that you can move forward toward the goals and dreams. Thus, validating that you are creating a better future than your past.
My aha moment came when I realized my past was holding me back because I allowed it to. I embraced both the idea that I had total autonomy to decide in the present and the reality that I couldn’t change the past, only reframe it. Then I choose to forgive anyone who had wronged me, as well as myself for my previous missteps. And you can make the same choice.

People underestimate their capacity for change. There is never a right time to do a difficult thing. ~John Porter

Making Your Future Better than Your Past

As you have seen, in order to improve your future than your past, believe that it’s possible. This may take a bit of courage to overcome your fears and move towards a growth mindset. Here are some ways to help you with this process.

1. Find Your Tribe To Create The Future You Desire

You may have to cut ties with those people in your life that keep you fixated on negativity. The girlfriend who’s always teasing you about the mistake you made years ago has no bearing on the present, except that it keeps your ego in a place of embarrassment every time she mentions it. The people who remind you of your failings or missteps are focusing on the negativity of the past. You may need to spend less time with these people.
Instead, focus on those people who are encouraging, the ones who are excited for you to try new ventures or take a class. This is your tribe, the ones who look at your best attributes and speak positively to you. They remind you of the successes you’ve had, to inspire you to keep moving forward. Make new friends in the areas that you are growing. It's helpful to have someone learning with you to discuss and problem solve together.
Releasing those people from your life that have a negative influence on you is an important step to safeguarding that your future doesn’t resemble your past. By ensuring that you have people who are positive and encouraging around, you help yourself enlarge the possibilities of a better and boundless future.

When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. ~ Gerald G. Jampolsky

2. Let Go Of The Past And Its Attachments

Fear of loss is a common concern, like the anxiety of losing your job and the grief of losing a friend. The harsh reality is that you will lose things and loved ones. It’s the natural course of life. Nonetheless, being anxious about the future or worried about the past does nothing but keep you from being fully present and working towards your goals.
The fear of loss can cause many to stay in a mode of indecision and procrastination throughout the course of their lives. People grow attached to the stuff in their lives. Things like their profession, their prominence, their income, their lifestyle, etc. To pursue a change would mean relinquishing some or these things that are now associated as part of your life. Because of this aversion to loss, many people choose to put their dreams on hold — continuously.
By becoming less attached to the things in your life, you overcome the fear of loss. This enables you to move forward towards your goals and build a better future for yourself.

Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. ~ Yoda

3. Accepting What Is Stops The Struggling

By learning to be thankful for your current situation, one changes the focus from lack to having enough. This is important from a universal perspective. Acceptance for what is allows peace to enter your life instead of feeling you are fighting just to get by.
Part of acceptance is gratitude for everything you have, which includes any hardships, as they’re there for you to learn something. The fastest way through adversity is to ask the Universe what lesson are you to glean from the experience. Then, you have to get quiet and discern how this situation can teach you something about yourself or how you relate to the world around you.
One of the best ways to help you see all the good in your life is a gratitude journal. It’s easy to write a few items each evening that happened during your day, which you are grateful for. They can be things like the beautiful sunrise you witnessed while driving into work or your child passed their math test even though he struggled with the homework. You have things in your life to appreciate, and this is where you need to focus your attention in order to shape the vision you have for your future.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it. ~ Michael J. Fox

4. Small Steps Towards A Better Future

Growth and development don’t happen overnight. It takes time. And you want things to happen quickly as you are impatient with yourself. But you need to be kind, give a little self-care and self-love. Pay attention to the incremental steps you take as you grow.
It took me over two years before I could meditate daily. I wanted to, but I had to overcome obstacles within myself in order to accomplish this goal. First, I set the intention to meditate daily, but I had focus issues. So, I had to work on being able to quiet my mind so that I could focus. Once I accomplished that step, I added meditation to my calendar, because if it’s on my calendar, I do it. This entire process could be frustrating, but I focused on each incremental step, not the end result. Now, I wouldn’t begin my day without first meditating.
So, whatever you are trying to accomplish, set up steps along the path so you can have minor victories along the way. This ensures you will continue to move forward even if you run into a time of struggle. Being able to see that you overcame previous difficulties encourages you to continue until you accomplish the goal.

You need to be content with small steps. That's all life is. Small steps that you take every day, so when you look back down the road, it all adds up and you know you covered some distance. ~ Katie Kacvinsky

Remember, You Are Wiser Now

It’s unnecessary for you to continue suffering just because you were taken advantage of or mistreated by others, often by those closest to you. You have the power to decide to quit mentally reliving the past. Actually, more anguish is frequently caused by your mind continuously playing back an awful experience from the past than by the actual incident.
You are no longer required to assume the victim's role. You're a survivor. And you can determine how you interpret negative experiences from your past. It’s the key to your freedom.
Unlike what some people think, you can be remorseful without always punishing yourself for past transgressions. Make the adjustments and move on. I can attest to the liberating nature of forgiveness, having extended forgiveness to my abusive mother. You don't choose to be forgiving of others in order to excuse or justify their actions. You choose to be free through forgiveness.
It's also important for you to accept responsibility for your own missteps. Since nobody is perfect. You don't have to serve a life sentence that you put on yourself in order to make up for the wrongs you did or the poor decisions you made. Treat yourself with self-compassion.
You can choose to see your past as quicksand or a launching pad. It’s up to you to make use of your experiences as a tool or allow them to be used against you.

Close the door on the past. Don’t try to forget the mistakes, but don't dwell on them. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. ~ Johnny Cash

Moving Forward Believing In A Better Future

You have the freedom to decide how much control you wish to have over your present life, regardless of what has happened in the past. Although it’s impossible to undo the past, you can reframe it and decide how to respond to it.
Belief is paramount to being able to do anything. Confidence in your abilities, conviction in your resolve to constantly move forward, and faith that all your work will make your dreams a reality. Maintaining this belief is important, which is why you need to take pride in the victories along the way.
Every disappointment that you overcame, each circumstance you seized, and the individuals that arrived along the way that you recognized were there to help you. All the success along the way helps you maintain the belief that the future is going to be better than your past, because you are creating it every day.
No matter how awful it was, your past does not indicate your future. The decisions and deeds you commit to today will ultimately shape who you become in the future. Decide to take what you've learned from the past and use it in the present to live the life that was meant for you.

Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay. ~ Simone de Beauvoir

Hey I'm still new to d&d and never expect my first ever experience to be like this it was my first ever campaign the DM seemed nice enough and the campaign seemed fun it was based on the early medevil times and we had to stop the big bad (never did find out what it was) that was killing everyone and turning them into these undead puppet kinda creature and this constant storm that was on the horizon.Myself and the other party members decided to go explore the town that was a couple miles though the woods (this seemed to annoy the DM for some unknown reasons) we found out some information about the big bad but not alot before the dm told us that then the storm was approaching and would destroy our base that we where staying at we decided it would be best if we head back to see if we could protect the camp and the people. (we had another member back at the camp that was afk and a NPC that was helping us) as we were heading back though the rain two of the party members started fighting (I can't remember why) I managed to brake it up and as we were standing in the rain the DM told us to roll a saving throw one of the people roll 17 and me and the other person both rolled NAT 20s (I rolled a nat20 and with my wisdom it was 22) the DM then decided to do a tpk (total party killed) without telling us what killed us and after the 3rd time of asking he told us "the storm kills you and that you needed to roll a 23 and higher to survive". After that he just disappeared and stopped replying to everyone one in the group I messaged one of the other members of the party to ask about what happend as they were more experienced at playing then me and he was like "we are all level 1 there is no way that we can get 23 and higher for a saving throw unless we put all our stats into wisdom" I messaged the DM a couple of times with no reply until one day when he just deleted the group and told me it would be better if I found another group and that he wasn't continuing because he didn't like one of the players and how they play I was the only one to get a reply and to be told why he was quitting (i play on discord) i have thankfully found 2 new campaigns that i am a part of that i enjoy playing but as a first experience and first ever campaign it was not an enjoyable experience, also i have been told that most campaign do a session zero to introduce you to the campaign and the world this didn't happen and i was dropped straight into the session and felt very awkward as the campaign had already had two sessions prior to me joining I had no idea what had happened and what's happening and what the group already knew. (Ps sorry for any spelling mistakes or anything I'm dyslexic)

For the context, I am from India. And in India, in-laws/parents have a major role to play in the affairs of a married couple. Thankfully, I am not having to live my in-laws. But I do remember how when I was pregnant, they never bothered to call or ask me how I was doing. They have also never been very approving of me because their son went against their wishes and married an intercaste person.
Anyway, I had my elective Caeserean Section a month ago. As soon as I was out and back to my hospital room, I remember my mother-in-law holding the baby. The baby was never brought or shown to me in the hours following the delivery. I remember asking her to show me the baby's face and then she reprimanded me saying, "You just keep quiet and rest!" She kept the baby to her and even my own mother came and whispered into my ears, "I wanted to hold the baby but never got a chance". And then out of nowhere, my mother-in-law alongwith her own sister came and started putting the baby to my breast pressing hard on my CS scar. I screamed in pain but they didn't stop. They kept squeezing my breasts and not a single drop of milk was to be seen. Then they dismissed me off as someone who was too unhealthy to produce milk (according to them, thanks to my older food habits) and immediately put my newborn to bottle feed. They repeated this for the next 5 days and then I was discharged. The in-laws and their family would spend the entire day at the hospital and be with my baby. I had to ask someone to take a video of the baby and show me because he was never brought to me. The husband was also negligent towards me. Once discharged, I was asked to travel immediately to their hometown which is ten hours away and the condition of road is extremely bad. There were potholes and bumps and I had to cry my way. Neither my husband nor my parents showed any compassion or tried to stop this travel. I was still not able to produce much milk during my stay at my in-laws. They kept judging and commenting on me, thereby ruining the first month of my recovery as well. I was expected to be prim and proper to entertain their deluge of guests and was called "disrespectful and selfish" for staying in bed all day. My husband also totally supports his parents and it irks me to no end. This disguised patriarchy and domination has literally ruined my bonding experience with my baby and I'm still not able to breastfeed him or produce enough milk.
I would see videos and pictures of mommas holding their newborns right after delivery. Some on their chest, some to their cheek. And videos of husbands holding and helping their wives walk after surgery. When I asked my husband to help my out of bed, his mother commented that I was too fat for her son to help and it would take 4 persons to pull me out of bed. I was so hurt by this comment that I ended up getting out of bed, unassisted, took bath unassisted and had my first walk post surgery unassisted. But I regret how everytime I tried to hold my baby, I was either told I'm too weak and should rest or that I don't know how to do it. So I could never snatch my baby and exert my right. My husband even called me "failure of a mother" when I was unable to breastfeed in the hospital.
All of these incidents keep playing in my mind and I am just not able to be the mother that I could be or wanted to be. I feel like it is too late to teach my baby how to latch and that he would be on formula milk forever. I feel like it is too late to produce enough milk for my baby and that my breastfeeding journey has truly been a failure.

Hey folks! I'm wanted to make this short but I have everything to learn, and admittedly very little knowledge or experience despite all of the self-research through consuming tons of content on Kayak Fishing and PNW Fishing and want to be very clear on what it is I am asking for in terms of guidance/recommendations!
Bless those of you that can manage to stick w/ me!
I haven't fished since I was a young kid with my grandfather - that was over 20 years ago so let's just assume I have no real bearing on what I'm doing or where to begin.
I live on the WA/OR border where the Columbia meets the Pacific and am looking to get myself setup with my first rod and tackle as I'd like to start fishing the local lakes and estuaries around me.
These are the circumstances that will affect my gear choices: 1.) My locale - Living at the literal mouth of the Columbia River (Astoria/Hammond, OR up to Ilwaco/Long Beach, WA and the surrounding areas) offers me a slew of bangers when it comes to the native fish and waterways being that there are streams, rivers, lakes, ocean, saltwater, freshwater, brackish water - blah, blah, blah - everything all at once. It's exciting, but overwhelming - with each new thing I learn, I realize how much more there is to find out. 2.) The primary use case for the gear I'm currently seeking is to fish from my Tucktec folding kayak, and ideally being able to accommodate a secondary use case of being able to pack in my rod and tackle on quick jaunts to more secluded waters in the area - I'm aware this may be where I just don't get to have the best of both worlds and may have to choose between the ability to pack it down and strap it to the side of my pack to bushwhack with and having it be an ideal rod for kayaking. I really just want to be able to grab my rod and tackle, get in my car, and be able to hop out with what I've got w/ me whenever I find myself in an area w/ a nice fishing spot that is accessible by foot or boat and just go!
I have seen some general recommendations of using around a 6.5'-8' rod on a kayak, and I most often see a 7' rod recommended - w/ the caveat of potentially adding a little length going up to 8' if fishing saltwater - given my locale, its really hard to say if I'll be in fresh, salt, or brackish water at any given time w/ all the coast, estuaries and lakes at my disposal it could really go any way. Even if I'm not kayaking out in the actual open waters of the Columbia, smaller estuaries that I might find myself in have that brackish water that I'm unsure whether to treat as fresh or saltwater when selecting gear.
Do I overcompensate as a foolproofing/failsafe measure and treat it like I'm generally fishing saltwater to handle the larger fish I'd encounter in those estuaries, or actual ocean if I'm on foot on the Washington side? Or do I go in with the intention of using a dedicated lake setup for fishing Bass, Steelhead and the smaller panfish that I'd encounter fishing Coffenbury Lake, Cullaby Lake, and other contained bodies of water and accept the fact that much like motorcycling, an "all-'rounder" or "dual sport" is more often than not underperforming and disappointing whether you're on the interstate or off the beaten path and one is usually better off just having dedicated bikes for dirt and street to really get that dialed in performance, rather than getting the worst of both worlds in one place. If that is in fact that case, then I guess I'm on the hunt for TWO rod/reel combos. One for fishing the local freshwater lakes, and a second for fishing the brackish water on the banks and estuaries.
I am trying my best to learn, but I don't know a lot about what's what seasonally as far as fishing goes, I just know prime time for bass fishing was a few months ago as it's getting warmer now. Tips on what I should be looking to fish for NOW and in the coming summefall months in this region would be greatly appreciated, I'm so eager to learn!
I know gear is subjective, and that if I take to angling, I'll end up amassing a ton of it for the changing seasons and types of fishing I take a shine to, and honestly, just for the hell of it. Right now, though? I just want to get myself a daily driver so that I can stop pulling my hair out researching and JUST GET TO CASTING OUT ON THE WATER ALREADY!
The goal is just to have enough fun in the process to not get discouraged from learning the art of angling, as I'd like it to become a staple source of communion with nature and a still chamber for reflection in my day-to-day life. I don't have any fishing buddies to offer moral support or get tips in this field, and I don't want to get myself in over my head and end up discouraged w/ gear that just sits gathering dust!
OH, and lastly on the note of the general 7' recommendation for kayak fishing, that seems to be a fairly universal ballpark on length, but I stumbled across Emmrod fishing rods - specifically the Emmrod Kayak King and the Emrod Packrod - they're funky little guys but they look bombproof, stowable, have swappable rod ends and they even have a model called the Kayak King - its only 27" assembled, half that packed, and I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the Emmrod rods as they honestly look like they'd fit the bill for both kayaking and packing in to secluded lakes and streams for me PERFECTLY, but they go against most of what I've gleaned about kayak fishing so far being a whole 5' shy of 7' and I worry that I'm just falling blindly for the idea of the Emmrod because it's unlike anything I've ever seen in the sea of other rods I'm trying to take my pick from, and on paper it says its exactly what I'm looking for and has swappable parts making it pique my interest that much more as I just love modular systems. Someone please, SOUND OFF!
So, tell me what rod/reel YOU'D go for. Tell me why I should not get the Emmrod and get a normal rod like a normal person, or better yet, tell me about your experience with the Emmrod and why it'd be perfect for me after all! Emmrod aside, all recommendations and tips for fishing this incredible area and what gear is going to make it an enjoyable experience for me and the fish I'm bound to meet is welcomed and encouraged!
Thanks to anyone who made it this far and has any advice to offer, maybe I'll see you out there!