Guy sticks jar up his butt

Disgust is such an interesting emotion
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.

I'm a '19/F' year old student in college dating a '18/M' guy I been with for going on three years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was '14/F' I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was '15/F' I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was '16/F' and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend are '16/M' and '17/F' I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn't want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful... Until six months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park (they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn't talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn't want to because I love him and we had been dating now for two years as well as I was '18/F' but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man's my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer... I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn' allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I'm not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them… I don’t know what to think.

Disgust is such an interesting emotion
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.

total clickbait. Jess and Chris swapped Addie between them because Chris had to go to the airport to pick up or drop off his kids. the not our usual part is because Jess and Chris kissed.
They are recovering from Mother's Day. They had such a fun Mother's Day this year. Jess didn’t vlog it. Their inflatable water slide was a hit.
Jess doesn’t recommend not paying close attention when you are dealing with something on a hot stove. Jess wanted a barbie inspired pool party for mothers day. It was her, her kids(including Tommy) and a couple friends. They had so much fun. Everything was all pink. They had pink foods, Jess made a pink pasta salad, and she wanted to make pink popcorn. Everything was going great and going smooth. Jess, Addie and Ayla were making hot syrup on the stove to pour over the popcorn. As Jess poured it over the popcorn and stirred at the same time, the liquid poured directly onto her finger and caused a second degree burn. It hurts so bad. It is completely blistered up. That is not the only injury that happened. One of the kids opened a drawer in their refrigerator and Honey jumped up to get a big piece of cheese. Honey grabbed the cheese and started running with it. Jess chased after Honey because the cheese still had the plastic on it. Honey was running in a circle. Jess stubbed her toe. (That is the lamest “running” i have ever seen in my life. More like calmly walking. Jess acted like she broke her toe.) Toes are her worst fear. Jess swears she seriously broke it. Talia stubbed her toe as well but in a completely different scenario. (Why are we getting a play by play of every single injury that happened that day? Why not just say they had a great time and leave it at that?) A few of the kids went down by going down the slide the wrong way a few times. It was so much fun but also a disaster. The kids all got Jess different things. Addie made a card and her card was super funny. It said happy mothers day i love you because i do. In addition Addie asked Chris for 20$ and put it in a money holder and specified that Jess deserved to do something for herself. Jess told Addie that she didn’t have to give her money. The thought of it was so sweet. Kaden made a ceramic minnie mouse. However it broke on the way home from school. Jess is going to try to glue it back together. It was the thought that counts. The younger the kids are, the more things they make at school. Addie made a jar that says “I know sometimes your job is hard. When that happens, draw a slip from this jar to remind you why I love you so much. Place it back in the jar when you're done.” It has a picture of Addie on it. One of the slips says I love you because you take me to the movies. Another says i love you because you take me to target. A third one says I love you because you got me a dog. A fourth one says i love you because you take me to cheer. (ok these are all things Addie gets out of Jess. Why not put down things regarding the qualities of Jess? Things Addie does for Jess? I can’t imagine my relationships with others being so focused on material things.) It is so cute. A fifth one says I love you because you love me. That one is Jess’s favorite. Jess will be keeping this jar forever and pulling the notes out when she is 70. Jess got herself a little something. Casetify got her something. Jess has had the same phone case since she got the phone. Jess decided that it is time for an upgrade and that she deserves an upgrade. Those are the only cases she trusts. Her phone has seen some serious brutal times. Jess is loving the purple theme this year. She is in love with the shade of purple on her phone case. She got another phone case that says what is meant for you will not pass you and what has passed you was not meant for you. It is beautiful but the real reason she sticks with casetify phone cases is because of how durable they are. Jess doesn’t feel like she needs to elaborate on that because it speaks for itself. Jess is going to stick with the wordy case but is going to try the purple one. The shade of purple is really nice. Purple is kind of her thing at the moment. Jess is going to take a break from the purple because she has had the other purple one for so long. The case is giving summer, positive vibes, good energy and she is here for it. She has a top picks page. Her favorites are hard to narrow down because they have so many collections.
Jess feels like they are doing a custody drop off. Chris took Addie to cheer because Jess had to finish a few things at home. They are doing a swap off. They were waiting in the parking lot for Jess to get there. Jess is taking the next shift because Chris has to go to the airport for a real custody drop off/pick up. Addie isn’t quite done with dance yet. Whenever her kids change sports they have to finish out the season. Addie still has 2 more weeks of dance until her recital. It will be her last one unless she decides to go back to dance one day. Jess doesn’t know what happened but there was a sudden switch. It was when Addie started taking official cheer classes that she decided that she wants to do cheer and nothing else. Addie loves it and looks forward to it every day. In the meantime Addie is doing both cheer and dance. It is a packed schedule but they are almost done with dance. Kyson, Kaden and Landen have soccer tryouts today. They are already part of the club but there are tryouts for new people to come to their team. They have a weird schedule. They are spending most of the day on the field today. Jess wants to go and check in.
They had 30 minutes to kill so they went to a pet store. They needed to get a few things for their pets anyway. Addie wanted to go to the reptile store to hold a snake. Jess doesn’t know why but Honey will not eat her food. Jess has tried so many different kinds. Honey always goes for the cat food. They have to hide the cat food. Someone suggested to lift the food. Jess and Addie decided that when Addie gets her own room she wants a fish. Addie would be the one to take care of it. Addie is an animal lover. Either fish or a snake. Maybe both.
Jess has not been to a sonic since high school. Jess and Talia ran into each other at dance drop off and decided to go to sonic. Talia has never been and Jess hasn’t been since high school. Talia wanted to try the dirty coke. Jess didn’t know what that was. It is a thing in utah. They have a place called swig. That is where all of the utah moms go because they can’t have coffee. They have a swig which is a dirty coke. Sonic doesn’t have apple pay. Jess saved Talia’s life. The dirty coke is pretty. They didn’t even fill it.( Yes they did, just not all the way to the top.) The dirty coke is nice and refreshing. It tastes like a pina colada. It is kind of like a rootbeer float. The tea is horrible. The Utah girls will start off their tik toks going into a 7/11 and filling up their stanley’s.
A car hit the fence during soccer practice. There were hecka cops over there. Cheer, dance and soccer is done. Kyson is home and sad that he couldn’t come. It wasn’t important for him to come but typically you come to tryouts even though you are already on the team. Kyson is injured so he is taking it easy. He feels a lot better. He is tempted to come and play but that is how you re injure yourself. Kyson is walking all right. It still hurts but he is doing normal activities for the most part. Jess is having Kyson take it easy so that it doesn’t become a life long injury. Landen had his practice earlier today. Kaden got done with his practice. They are going to head home. It is 8pm and Addie hasn’t even been home today. Jess is on a kick trying not to eat fast food. They definitely still are here and there. For a while it was too easy to make it a daily thing. That is not good for anybody. They put a stop to that and eat at home 90% of the time.
Jess gets questions daily about linking certain things in her videos and posts. Honey is playing with Nova. They have recently become the best of friends. Jess has always been bad about linking things when people ask for links. She tries to remember. She has been trying to be more on top of it. The worst thing is to see something online and then not being able to find it. Jess started a ltk. You can post a picture or video and link everything in the picture or video. Jess has also been using her amazon storefront.

Hello! This is a throwaway account because my boyfriend follows on my main, and I’m on mobile, apologies for the format.
My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months. He is the only one of the two of us working right now. I currently cannot get a job because I am disabled and trying to sort out some health stuff before I start working again. He isn’t very good with money, often times opting to order food instead of making it, and buying things that he doesn’t really need because they’re on sale or “not that much” which adds up pretty fast. We’re lucky to not have to pay rent right now, but I’m scared for what the future might hold if we don’t change some things early on. He was taught about money and such, but it never really absorbed, and he’s convinced that saving money doesn’t really do anything good because of inflation. He isn’t investing or anything if that is a concern that you guys might have.
I want to bring up the idea of a budget that will work things out for the both of us. So that we can get the things we need before the things that we want. I just don’t want to come off as pushy or as if I’m trying to take his money away from him. I just want the life that we’re building to be more stable as it goes into the future. Any advice is appreciated on how to go about this conversation!
TLDR: My boyfriend isn’t great with money, but he’s the only one out of the two of us who can currently work, how can I convince him to build and stick to a budget with me?

I'm a student I'm a 19F year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was 14F I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was 15F I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16F and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16M and 17F I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on ltheAsshole I'm a student I'm a 19 year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot...throughout my whole life I had a "problem with boys" it started when I was 14 I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn't texting inappropriate as well...When I was 15 I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16 and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn't want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal... my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early (I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16 and 17 I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn't We continue dating and we wasn't perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn't allowed to go on dates because we both didn't have a car so I try to sneak to his house ar got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into m house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn't want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful... Until 6 months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park (they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn't talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn't want to because I love him we been dating now for 2 years as well and I'm 18 but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man's my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer... I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn' allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I'm not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them… I don’t know what to think.

This joke requires props, so I'll give instructions on how to tell it rather than trying to capture the physical element with the written word.
Get something you can use as a pointer that won't affect your phone's screen. Call up a side view image of a chicken and size it to fill your phone's entire screen.
Show the image to your kids. Explain that you are going to point to different parts of the chicken, and each time, they should say the name of that part two times. Demonstrate by pointing at the beak and saying, "Beak, beak!"
Point to the feet; they should say, "Feet, feet!"
Point to the tail; they should say, "Tail, tail!"
Point to the wing. They'll say, "Wing, wing!" Immediately put the phone to your ear and say, "Hewwo?"
ETA When this joke was told to me, the guy rolled a sheet of paper into a tube. He had me hold up one hand with my thumb and pinky sticking up, bent the tube in two places and stuck one end over each digit. He then produced a crude line drawing of a chicken. When I said wing wing, he picked up the tube and held it to his ear like the receiver of a landline.

I work for a high-rep company that everyone competes for and I am lucky to start off from right after college. My pay went from 60k to 65k, to now 69k. I have been here almost 3 years. I am still a meekly analyst and since it is a large company, they do 1 promotion per team each year. According to my manager, I excel at many things but my coworkers got promoted each year due to slight seniority by a few months. I am now next in line for promotion, according to my manager, so he told me to keep doing what I am doing.
1 of my promoted coworkers left awhile back for a better opportunity. Before he left, he told me with wide eyes that his new position offered WAY MORE pay and we are not being paid enough to do what we do. As of right now my other promoted coworker is considered an "associate" and told me her pay is 70k. Meanwhile, we had new hires coming in, all associates. I'm the only one who's still "entry level", yet.......I manage everyone's work and projects (besides the other promoted associate). It has been over a year now and I am still holding hands with everyone. One person particularly sucks so bad at his job, he ask me for help and takes all the credit. But since he was originally so bad, everyone knows this by now that every time he turns in something, he did not do it on his own.
Several times I have met with my manager with frustration and near tears that I have done NOTHING because of one guy. I used to love the job too until this guy came along to 1) throw my name under the bus any chance he gets to make himself look good and 2) ask me privately for help but then takes credit and makes me sound dumb on group chats. All his attempts failed miserable and my manager knows the truth, but I'm still tired of the fake attacks and consistent hand holdings. And I cannot just say no because I'm the only SME here for particular topics.
I currently lead 3 team projects and work out of normal hours to meet with people from different time zones. No one else seems to care enough to do so (except the current promoted associated but she is an SME in a different topic and handles different tasks from me). Everyone else does the bare minimum. They dont care enough to understand the concept behind their tasks fully. Basically, I am Google to everyone, yet I am just a meekly analyst.
I have started applying to other jobs internally and externally. So far some internal jobs denied me :(. I really love this company AND PEOPLE FIGHT FOR THIS REPUTATION. But idk if I should leave or stick around to build myself up here.
I had a call from an external recruiter and he asked how much I am being paid now and LAUGHED at my 69k. He was shock that such a high reputable company pays me so low. I am currently applying for a 108k job that he thinks I'm a fit. No interviews has happened yet, so I'm not going to say this job will be it (especially since I just got rejected a few times already with the same salary range :( ).
Idk if I am making enough or have high expectations. All I know is I used to love the job that I do but people are tiring me out. I love the company still and would like to stay.....but if we're all sacrificing pay for reputation, then idk. Espexially since next promotion is around 70-80k.
What do you think? Stick it out or no?

This will probably be a long one. I just am at my wits end. I don't like to talk to my family about it because I don't want them to see her in a bad light.
Background information. My wife and I have been married almost 11 years. We have two younger school aged boys together and she has a high school son (who I basically see as mine since his father is a deadbeat and I have basically treated him like my own since he was 4). We both work. She is a teacher. I am overemployed (this will be pertinent later).
So first, my wife is absolutely awful with money. She knows this. She tries. But it never seems to stick. She'll spend on average $100-$400 a day. This does NOT include stuff like groceries, bills, dining out. It is stuff like targets, Amazon, moderately expensive dresses/clothes, Sephora. As mentioned, I am overemployed so we can afford a pretty nice lifestyle but she definitely goes overboard. Part of the reason I became overemployed was to be able to save money, but we can never do that. I rarely spend anything on myself. Frankly, I don't care. I'm happy with what I have. My main hobby is gaming and I really don't spend a lot on that. I have my XBOX and basically get lots of free games that keep me entertained via paying for Gamepass which is like $20 a month. My wife grew up poor. I grew up solid middle to slightly above middle class. So I think since she grew up with nothing it impacts how she buys things. She also likes to go overboard on stuff like teacher gifts. And I have zero problems buying stuff for our kids teachers for things like Christmas, teacher appreciation week, end of year. But she goes beyond overboard. She easily spent over $500 for our kids' teachers two weeks ago for teacher appreciation. The same type of stuff happens when she buys things for our kids or herself. She'll talk about how she's doing great not spending money buy then a box with 2 $200 dresses shows up. I frankly get nauseous checking the mail or our front door. It gives me anxiety. These aren't exactly things have haven't expressed to her either, but I don't think she sees my stress as serious or relevant (more on this later).
Second, our jobs. Yes, she has a very stressful job as a teacher. I have two jobs where I work from home. I am able to pretty easily manage them with no problems. Very, very minimal stress at work for me. With this, I pick up A LOT of the household duties. I cook all the meals. I then clean this dishes. If the kids have thing they need to go to or appointments. I am the one that takes them. I do a significant portion of the laundry. She will does it sometimes but I do more than 50% of it. Easily. I do most of the goodnight routines with the kids. Similar to laundry she will help at times but I do the vast majority of it. Lots of times she will read to the boys before bed. We also have a maid that comes twice a month. She will do some minor cleaning now and then but that isn't something that falls on her or myself a lot. I also make an effort to bring her lunch to work once a twice a week. Since I WFH and her school is nearby I also trying to bring her lunches a few times a week. I think her mindset is I have it easy at work and she doesn't so me doing the lions share of the household duties is fair. Truthfully, it doesn't bother me to do all the stuff at home. I have zero problems doing it but the lack of recognition or credit I get over it is bothersome.
Third, she hold onto things from the past and compares me to social media. A LOT. Some of the things she hold onto.

1. I am not romantic enough nor do I do grand romantic gestures.
2. My proposal wasn't good. What I did was made a book/album with things I loved about her and in the end I asked her to marry me.
3. She didn't like her wedding dress. We paid for our own wedding. It was well over $25,000. There was a budget for the dress because that is the one thing her parent paid for. Looking back she didn't like her dress and says she told me how much she hated the dress but I didn't like her spend the extra money so it is my fault.
4. Our 10 year anniversary was terrible and I didn't plan anything nice like a trip or expensive gift. This I will agree to. We didn't do much but it was during a time where we were having the worst fight in our relationship. And this also goes back to $. Since she spends so freely it makes it very, very difficult to plan for some sort of trip or expensive gift. I would have ZERO problems planning a weekend get away somewhere or buying some nice jewelry. But when I see how much money get spent it is overwhelming and I can't spend money on stuff like that. I have expressed this. I have said if we can save money I'd like to plan a getaway to Disney or some sort of resort. It just never seems to get through to her. For instance for her birthday recently I got her a diamond tennis bracelet. It wasn't the exact one she wanted because it wasn't from a certain place. It was the same carats and same type of gold but it just wasn't from a specific place. She literally told me when she was mad if I had a wife that wanted something I would have found a way to get it for them. Like what am I supposed to do? Get a third job? Rob the place?

Fourth, so constantly sends me tik toks of things boyfriends/husbands do. Like for this girl's one year he got her a Cartier bracelet. Or guys buying flowers (yes I do get her flowers a number of times a year). She constantly asks me what romantic things I have done for her. And by social media standards yeah I don't stack up but that crap is so fake. I mean sure I could plan dates better or do little things like decorate for her birthday better but mentally I feel just so spent. I feel so overstressed with the spending that I feel I just don't have the headspace. She talks about hwo I constantly ruin the occasion because I didn't plan anything special or romantic. Its not like I purposely do it to spite her or anything.
I just don't know what to do. When she is in a good headspace she's an amazing person. Recently, she started seeing a therapist and I think it has helped her a little. It is just so exhausting. I wish there was some magic button could hit so she could see my perspective and take my feelings into consideration. I want to be able to give her the love she wants, but I feel I need help from her.

I called about a used car on a Saturday afternoon. It had been listed for at least a couple of weeks but I hadn’t had time to go car shopping until then. Dealer (small dealer - only about 5 cars listed) told me straight away that someone had just put in a loan application for it but they had bad credit so may not get approved, he would know on Monday and would let me know.
Monday 4pm I call, he says he was just about to call me, the applicant wasn’t approved, car is available. I make an appointment to come see it the next morning at 10am. He asks if I’m paying cash or financing, I tell him financing and was open to doing that through him if the terms were good but he straightaway just asks that I come preapproved and I tell him no problem. He says he will text me the address. I set up the pre approval through my credit union, it’s fully ready to go. He doesn’t text the address. Next morning I wake up to a text sent late apologizing that he had to go interstate for a family emergency and will be back “end of week”.
I’m genuinely super nice about it because family emergency. I also don’t ask at any point specifically when he will be back because it’s a total a**hole move to bother someone who’s dealing with a family emergency.
So I wait until the following Monday morning to ensure I’ve passed any “end of week” definition. I text him saying please forgive me if you’re still with your family, hope all is ok, was wondering if you're back. I told him if he’s away indefinitely I completely understand, no problem, but if he could let me know so I can plan accordingly that would be much appreciated.
He apologizes, still away dealing with family stuff. Will be back by Wednesday, we can make an appointment for Wed/Thu - and if I end up taking the car he’ll throw in a great warranty to make up for the inconvenience. I tell him not to apologize, family first, but thank you I appreciate that and Wednesday 11:30am would be great if the works for him.
I wouldn’t have even gone there with him still dealing with family stuff except he’d brought up specifics of the sale and had even included a particularly excited smily face emoji lol.
It’s now Tuesday night and he still hasn’t answered to confirm that appointment. I’d tend to think well if someone’s just had a death in the family or something traumatic, they possibly can barely function or think about anything else. I would totally understand that. However, due to the nature of his last text that didn’t seem to be the case.
I will call him in the morning but my hopes aren’t high and in that he didn’t answer my last text - added to the other inconsistencies from the beginning - I now feel like I’m getting the runaround for some other reason. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt re a family emergency - and I feel like a jerk for even saying this if it is true - but of course it’s a possibility he’s lying and giving the only excuse that doesn’t make him look flaky and unprofessional.
If he doesn’t answer or commit to an appointment tomorrow, I’ll be fully done following up with him and will look elsewhere. (I’ve kept my eye out but am very specific about what I want and also need to stick to a strict budget. Although I definitely would have considered some others more seriously if I wasn’t most interested in this one.) But even if he does commit to an appointment, it makes me concerned I’m dealing with someone dishonest. Or if he commits to an appointment at a later time I don’t want to be strung along only for him to “postpone” again.
Does all this sound weird or not particularly? If weird, why would someone drag it out unclearly instead of just telling you that it’s not gonna happen? Why doesn’t he want to sell it to me? So strange.
TLDR - I’m trying to go see a used car that’s listed for sale but the dealership (small dealership, just one guy) keeps having reasons the car or he are not available. Would give him benefit of the doubt but he’s not called/texted when he said he would and most recently disappeared mid text convo short of confirming an appointment to see it. Why? Suspicious?

There are several isekais that begin with the MC reincarnated as an infant. There's also a lot of stigma against those shows, since the MC is usually labeled a pervert. But what would even be the right thing to do?
The first and most obvious situation to address is breastfeeding. There are severe cases like Mushoku Tensei where the guy was a pervert even before his reincarnation, but then there's other cases like Oshi no Ko where the MC just chooses bottle-fed, but that's not totally realistic either, right? If you're isekai'd into a medieval Era world, that shit doesn't exist?
The next problem that arises is attraction. Should you stay attracted to the age you're reincarnated as or do you stick to 18+ like is traditionally acceptable here on earth? That one is probably more difficult to answer considering there are more factors at play, but I'm still interested in the general consensus.
I'm sure there are other issues, but these have been the main two problems that cause dissention among our anime communities. Please feel free to bring up other issues so that when I get isekai'd, I can refer back to this thread to make sure I'm conducting myself appropriately.

Wassup yall. I’m 17M and Always been straight, never even thought of the possibility till freshman year. Met a guy who was 5 years older than me and ngl I looked up to bro, enjoyed the friendship we had. But it all went south when my parents found out that I was friends with this older kid and how it was weird. I realized the weirdness, and confronted him about it - later that night he told me he was gay. I freaked out of course, because that changed everything that our friendship was about, at least from my point of view (thru therapy, it turns out I was groomed. lol). I then asked myself the question: does it make me gay to have been his good friend? My first answer was no, but of course I started spiraling. Freaked out for about 3 months being scared as hell of being gay, meeting new people especially men was hard for me because I was terrified of potentially liking them. I got anxious around one or two boys specifically after the incident and that freaked me out because I didn’t know why. It all went away after I started talking to this girl that I had history with, but ofc she got a boyfriend. I got anxious when I saw her with him, and when I asked her she confirmed it and then I was like damn and accepted that she was cuffed. That took it away when I got scared when I saw her.
Really the next year and a half were good. I didn’t think about the gay stuff at all. Talked to a few girls, eventually really liking one and getting with her (relationship, lasted around 8 months). But about midway into the relationship, I started getting super anxious following a pregnancy scare. I felt like I needed to break up for no reason, and we almost did but continued in the relationship. It never really went away, and after 3 ish months and trying to work it out, we ended up breaking up. Looking back, there was no real reason to break up other than me being anxious af about the relationship, questioning it, worrying about her being with other people, and honestly sabotaging it for myself. This is where my ocd in general started, as rocd. But of course, the very next day as I’m in the shower crying about her, an intrusive thought pops into my mind: I’m gay. This freaks me out, but honestly I’m the beginning I had a good attitude about the weirdness and randomness about the thought. I still obsessed over it but I thought welp if I am I am I guess but if I’m not I’m not. But I started to really obsess over it and it got really bad. Part of me knew I was straight, but at the same time why couldn’t I get over this hump? It went on for about 6 months of me just freaking out all the time. In therapy I really dug deep and figured out how the situation from freshman year could have impacted and probably did impact the thoughts I was having.
Then, about a month ago, I decided I was going to stop fighting and stressing about the intrusive thoughts in my head. There is this kid who Ive been anxious around, along with one or two other boys since my hocd came back after the breakup and it was bothering me a lot, along with the question of am I gay how am I gay etc. I decided Yk what I’m not gonna be so afraid of this and just going to accept. After that, a lot changed. My feelings became more calm and I lowkey started to accept the fact that maybe I was. The change in feelings over that realization also scared me. I’m feeling much more “calm” about the fact that I may be gay. Wtf?? As of right now, I feel like I probably am gay. Even though I still watch exclusively straight porn and tbh I don’t have much desire to explore gay porn. I feel like bi is more accurate because I definitely am attracted to women as I always have been, but something about saying I’m gay makes me more calm even though I know I am attracted to women. Which could be anxiety, but who knows. It’s also weird because I’m very masculine, and have always been - I play football, very involved in sports, and when I feel good and am not thinking it feels impossible that it’s a truth of mine that I’m bi or gay or whatever I am. I’ve always known I’ve liked girls. I am thankful to have super accepting parents, and have talked to them extensively about my struggles. My mom especially has been shocked because she never saw anything that would hint to me being gay, and honestly me neither. However, both my dad and mom have been very helpful because Ngl I need to speak about it somewhere that isn’t therapy.
It’s also important I think to mention that during this time recently I started talking to the same girl from freshman year. We had been friends since 7th, and my feelings for her had always and honestly still kinda are confusing. I liked her at some points, she liked me at some points, but as of right now we seem to be getting on great. We have always been friends and while it’s been on and off we are close.
Anyways, the initial goal was to be her friend again. And I got that. We are right now. We went to prom and we were touchy all night and had an amazing time. But I’m feeling super conflicted. Because I feel like I like her: I love talking to her, she’s hilarious, gorgeous, I feel urges to hug and hold her and be her protector almost. We even hooked up once and it was a good experience (however afterwards I just felt completely numb - which was weird. But I had a great time). We talk every day, and we both have said we aren’t ready for a relationship. I’m very confused and honestly I have put a lot of pressure on myself because I am scared that I am leading her on due to the doubts I am having about my sexuality, but at the same time I do love talking to her. She’s just amazing. But I don’t think I want a relationship. I couldn’t do that right now based on my current doubts and uncertainties. We have a connection though. I don’t know what to do.
So anyways, I’m just lost man. I don’t know how I feel really, and am still shocked at my realizations that I really could be gay/bi after all this time of knowing i only liked girls. I feel like I am, but also doubt if I really want dick at all, especially not in the butt it kinda weirds me out. Also, in my past relationship I was very sexually attracted to her. With my recent hookups with girls, sometimes I don’t get hard immediately but with some the girl and I haven’t really done much sexually besides get head. I guess the only real way to know is to experiment eventually, but I’m terrified because I don’t want to lose who I am to others because of this. It’s like, what if I don’t like it then damn I didn’t need to do that - or worse, and it confirms that yes I do like it. I’ve never been gay before this that I know of. Best is probably to wait for college to see.
I don’t know what to do, honestly. With this girl (do I break it off, do I keep talking but tell her I can’t if she wants more even tho we been clear, or do I just back off a bit because I do really care about her?), with my overthinking and sexuality (I feel like I’m gay at this point, but I also don’t really align with it - it’s been hocd freshman and now this year up until about a month ago), and my life??

First of all the goal of my post is not to give medical instructions/advice as I am not a Dr. In real life I am inquisitve and bold with a good sprinkle of geek.
The purpose of this post is to offer knowledge of a treatment that WILL be a bane to Big Pharma and a quality of life improvement and potentially a life line for millions. Big Pharma is attempting to backshelf this and it just won't happen as long as I have a say. Too my story....
Life was not kind to me in the 90's I was 24 and had a series of health and mental issues that led me to the heavy use of cocaine. I actually made the decision based on what was going on.
Eventually the problems were dealt with, however there was one thing that was stubborn . All that cocaine ruined my erections. As I know now cocaine is an irritant to the arteries.
First at the age of 30 it was easily treated with viagra most of the time just 50mg and I was good to go, slowly it became 75mg then 100mg at age 48.
That is when I introduce multiple doses and then even added Cialis to the mix and the effectiveness when down. However it was still good enough to get by..barely.
Fast forward to September 2019 . I first noticed I had a cough , no phlegm just a cough that would last anywhere from 5-30 seconds at a time. I am a person that normally hops out of bed and always have periods of intense workouts to keep my body good. In addition to the fatigue my memory started failing and I couldn't eat a satifying meal without feeling nauseous. It was so bad that I quit my brick and mortar job that I had and actually told a bartender that "I feel like I am dying" . Well after 6 weeks the major problems went away. it was a few months later that they annouced Covid and as the list of symptoms came in 6 months later I realized that is what I had.
So I was 52 very fit looking and could still pull very attractive people but could only perform 20% of the time with at least 3 medications. One day I met this absolutely gorgeous person and we tried, they were patient and my dick was just this cold shriveled mass. It was absolutely humiliating . In addition I started having prostate problems coupled with tingling and coldness in my right arm hand.
At the time the situation was so dire ... I love sex so to have issues even masturbating was crazy.
I then started looking at other ways to deal with the problem kegels (I have to admit they did improve things, but not nearly enough). I tried running (again a help but far from a marked improvement). Shockwave therapy (was on a board with other guys trying it ..expensive and barely any results for anyone).
At this point I knew this was heading to ED drug injection and then a penile implant. I started with research on an implant because I would rather be one and done...that was my logic til I started to read that I would never have a natural erection again.
I decided to give on last search on how to clear the arteries and up popped this NIH research paper on how HPBCD cleared arteries quickly. I read further and read how this MOM of 2 children with a disease called NPC or Nieman Pick disease came up with a treatment through use of a 40 year old substance that was used to distribute lipid based drugs. Then I came across an article how a millionare prevented his second bypass surgery by having his heart doctor administrate the molecule to him. After that is was a 3 month long search which included me finding the molecule on AMAZON..yes frickin Amazon way within my budget.. It seem to good to be true but I ordered some.
So then I made the enema and it was having some effect but I really wanted to test it out and have and have some kind of regimen to pass on if it actually worked.
So in the mist of this decision to go IV , I met this one gorgeous person. Passionate everything I wanted and again my dick was shriveled and cold. I got so desperate that I went upstairs and got a insulin need that I bought for my plan of IV usage ...loaded it with 3 a gram solution and injected it into my penile dorsal vein (I seriously want to warn anyone, I got lucky because if I hit the artery below the dorsal vein I would have probably been in a world of pain) .
What happened next was crazy in my mind , the next day my penis was absolutely noticeably harder. THIS SHIT WORKED.
I went into overdrive trying to figure out how to safely inject myself , so many hard to aquire medical things were bought...I was all in. Eventually I figured it out , studied and studied again the doses the percentage of clearance per gram.
I didn't notice for a bit but my prostatitis just simpley vanished, my cold and tingling arm/hand went away and never came back. My erections were very slowly getting better and then came the problems.
My kidneys were feeling the effects of me dosing hard and heavy for so long...I had to take a break from the traditional IV doses I was doing. My kidneys needed a break . My charts show that I went from 85 GFR to 62 GFR and that didn't feel good at all.
On my break I recalled one of the many articles I had read about HPBCD as a therapeutic and one came to mind... A researcher had mice that he manipulated to have a hind leg circulation deficency. He directly injected them to have a very quick cure with the molecule. My mind went back to that first desperate shot.
During my investigation on how to inject myself safely I read that the corpora cavernosa was a really easy injection site...
I put it off for awhile (I mean sticking a needle in your dick..shit is crazy). Eventually I made a promise I would return. I kept my promise in things took off. The first month was a whole year of regular IV in terms of improvement .
I am 5 month in ...have incorporated cock rings an tourniquets and my results are undeniably great. My kidney number have improved so I am all in with results coming in weeks instead of months . I do beleive using the tourniquets have created a space of cholesterol depletion which the whole mechanism of cholesterol transport draws from the closest arteries.
I wrote a lot and sorry for any misspellings.
This is my story 56 performing like I am 28.

I’m a student I’m a 19F year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot…throughout my whole life I had a “problem with boys” it started when I was 14F I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn’t texting inappropriate as well…When I was 15F I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16F and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn’t want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal… my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early ( I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend, me 16M and 17F I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn’t! We continue dating and we wasn’t perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn’t allowed to go on dates because we both didn’t have a car so I try to sneak to his house and got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into my house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn’t want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful… Until 6 months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park ( they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn’t talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn’t want to because I love him we been dating now for 2 years as well and I’m 18 but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man’s my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer… I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn’t allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I’m not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them…I’m really in a hard spot right now and don’t know what to do.

I’m a student I’m a 19 year old student in college dating a guy I been with for going on 3 years now I have a overall good relationship with my parents though we often butt heads a lot…throughout my whole life I had a “problem with boys” it started when I was 14 I started dating of course being young and dumb i did dumb things like texting inappropriately. My parents would go through my phone and find thing an make me break up with them even if we wasn’t texting inappropriate as well…When I was 15 I met a guy who was Muslim who I started dating when I was 16 and he ended up sharing at part of his religion with me I got very close with his family but my parents are Christian so when they saw I was changing my views on my own religion and actually starting to love Islam and wanted to convert they forced me to break up with him i didn’t want to because he was also my friend so I left home and this caused a big deal… my grandma called the police on me and I got brought home being forced to now see or talk to him, quite my job( I worked with him), and not graduate early ( I was ahead and had great grades in High school). A year later I met my current Boyfriend who I truly love and I know loves me. Me and my boyfriend me 16 and 17 I am a year older. I try to hide him from my parents because I know they would probably tell me to break up with him or start going through my phone again. Which they did go through my phone and saw I was dating him and wanted me to break up with him but I didn’t! We continue dating and we wasn’t perfect we were young a dumb as well when we first started dating we wasn’t allowed to go on dates because we both didn’t have a car so I try to sneak to his house and got caught then a year ago I sneaked him into my house for a day while my parents where gone on vacation he felt uneasy because he knew my parents are strict and didn’t want to get me in trouble but we did anyway and we were successful… Until 6 months later me and my dad had been arguing because of how I felt he treats me (we have a rocky relationship and when me mad he will ignore me for weeks) this turned into a family problem because my grandma and mom got into it and he felt I was putting all the blame on him. So one day I came home after going to meet my boyfriend ate the park ( they knew I was meeting him) I came home and we got into a big argument. My dad said he doesn’t talk to me because how I act and told me how he had on camera me sneaking my boyfriend in the house. I felt really bad and knew I was wrong but confused why he just now decided to confront me about it. But why forced me to break up with my boyfriend i didn’t want to because I love him we been dating now for 2 years as well and I’m 18 but to go into college so I packed my stuff and tried to leave, my boyfriend wanted me to come stay with him till I could move into my dorm but my dad got mad and got physically aggressive and stoped me( gave me bruises on my arm). I brought all my college supplies myself man’s my mom broke it in the front yard with a hammer… I even gave them my car keys and was but to leave to my boyfriend house in the Uber I bought. But they forced me to stay and break up with him also I wasn’t allowed to go live on campus anymore. Now a year later my parents hate him and since I live in there house I’m not allowed to see him( we met one a week at my college to see each other secretly). They said I did this to myself and I always blame them…I’m I the problem?

There are several isekais that begin with the MC reincarnated as an infant. There's also a lot of stigma against those shows, since the MC is usually labeled a pervert. But what would even be the right thing to do?
The first and most obvious situation to address is breastfeeding. There are severe cases like Mushoku Tensei where the guy was a pervert even before his reincarnation, but then there's other cases like Oshi no Ko where the MC just chooses bottle-fed, but that's not totally realistic either, right? If you're isekai'd into a medieval Era world, that shit doesn't exist?
The next problem that arises is attraction. Should you stay attracted to the age you're reincarnated as or do you stick to 18+ like is traditionally acceptable here on earth? That one is probably more difficult to answer considering there are more factors at play, but I'm still interested in the general consensus.
I'm sure there are other issues, but these have been the main two problems that cause dissention among our anime communities. Please feel free to bring up other issues so that when I get isekai'd, I can refer back to this thread to make sure I'm conducting myself appropriately.

Hi again. I'm lurking here all the time and have bounced back and forth on total sobriety. IWNDWYT.
It's day 16 and I had to go on my calendar to count my sober days, I used to wake up thinking "ok it's day 8 I need to do XYZ to keep from drinking" and it was my hyperfocus all day everyday. I let it run me crazy even though I tried to develop healthier thinking patterns. I've always been that way. I wake up and I'm on level 10, which usually leads to drinking.
I've sought out different therapy and explored a lot of avenues for my mental health, I just felt broken. Before i was problem drinking I felt that way, and drinking worsened every symptom I ever had, but at least I got to be numb and dumb for a few hours. Que the repeating cycle!
I didn't give up on my brain and saw a psychiatrist. He quickly identified I might have Adhd. I did not agree lol. After some testing and conversations, I ABSOLUTELY 💯 have adhd. It just looks a lot different in women. I was a 90s kid. Back then, only boys had that, and they really had to act out to be diagnosed with that. So I began medication.
I was floored on day one at how OKAY EVERYTHING IS. I was unscrambling my thoughts, not ruminating, beginning and completing chores. But I still had the alcoholic in me that allowed myself 2-4 glasses of wine every few days.
I was proud of that, sometimes it would be only twice a week. One of those days my son flat out said "ugh I wish you guys would stop drinking" (me and my husband). I lost my wine appetite and I took on his challenge.
I've had some cravings, but I am thinking straight enough now that I COMPLETE a healthy coping mechanism. I actually called my dad one day and said "I'm thinking about getting wine, talk me out of it.". We talked for 2 hours about everything. I enjoyed his phone company so much I forgot why I called by the end.
I've been trying to treat something I didn't know was there. The proper help has removed the anxiety surrounding alcohol that ultimately caused me to pick it up! It was insanity. Nothing else worked, and I've been looking for a LENGTHY sobriety for a very long time. I'm crossing my fingers it sticks. I'm really hopeful and I think I have a good reason to be.
again, IWNDWYT

Here’s a story about a crazy incident that took place years ago that I decided to write out in a sort-of poem/rap.
Cruisin' home from up north with a couple of kids One's name was Nick, we had stayed at his crib He cracked open a water, had a couple of sips Said "I'm over it" and tossed it out of the whip What he nearly hit was a biker at our six Now the biker's pissed..big guy..probably 6 foot 6, and thick Has a spiked metal helmet, wants to rip off our dicks Maybe beat us with sticks Maybe cut us to bits Then go home and get blitzed Not a care that we're kids
Got in the lane next to us and started to scream Had a girl on his bike to add to his team After yelling obscene things, they started to leave We began to think we would get away clean
The biker turned right, good luck like the clover Until Nick screamed some shit and it started back over
The guy turned around, on the hunt like a hound By now, he was ready to smash Nicks face to the ground I pulled into a place, but there was no one around Another problem...there was no way out
See, the only way out was the way I came in And by the way we were parked, it wasn't an option He got off his bike and started walkin' Angry as hell, if with gun he'd be cockin' Ready to bust caps in each one of our noggins Locked all the doors, adrenaline rushin' Right up to my door is where he was flockin'
To our left was a field, looked flat from a distance Had to make a decision, and it had to be instant
Didn't want to die, so I threw it in drive Wasn't high, just a guy tryna survive
In the middle of the field was a bit of a ditch Came up so fast, I couldn't see it The front of my car took a nice little hit We were thrown all around, it was scary as shit But not even a scratch, no first aid kit
We had to keep going, no time for me slowing Drifted into the road, and with traffic we're flowing Left in the dust, this biker I was showing Should've left us alone, we really had to be going.

My cat pees in the same general area on the living room carpet. He doesn’t do it anywhere else in the house, just one side of the room. He also sticks his butt out of the litter box and pees out the side when he goes in the litter box. He’s been doing this for over a year now and I feel like we’ve tried everything. He’s also had pretty strange pee habits since he was a kitten.
We took him to the vet about 6 months ago to ask for help. They did a urine test and found he had slight elevations in RBC but not crystals or WBC. They said it could be stress related, prescribed an anti-stress med and sent us on our way. It didn’t help. Folks suggested on here that he may have a kidney problem which is why I took him in the first place. I bought pretty litter and the color of his urine comes out as normal according to it.
He behaves normal in every other way. We have another vet visit coming up to see if his urine numbers are still elevated, but does anyone have advice otherwise? If it’s not chronic disease related, what can we do?

Hi as the title says, I would like some advice on how to deal with my nazi neighbours living right above me. Warning the story contains serious content, recommended for hardened adults only. I am physically handicapped, pagan and bisexual. They keep yelling "heil hitler" and things like that. They keep me awake, they attack me with all kinds of ambushes like hot water or punching out of nowhere. It's really hostile here. I'm listening to some serious Amon Amarth and other metal playlist to keep the nazi's from bothering me. But really I just want to listen to things like Heilung and Wardruna and focus on my own health. The nazi's are making me tired and then they love attacking me after a long night of no sleep.
The police aren't helping me, the nazi has convinced them he is not a nazi, even though they have a confession of him painting a swastika on my bedroom window. He wakes me up with s&m, sounds like he himself is getting tortured sexually, strange moans. He has threatened me with death as well. Now the police obviously won't really help me until it's too late. But one of his fascist parties up there might be my last, when they decide to stab me. The company renting the houses won't do anything. My neighbours aren't helping. Everyone is scared except for me, I am a self defence specialist trained from a very young age, and of course a pagan who isn't afraid of the afterlife. Was raised a christian though, just couldn't stick with it because of the no self defence philosophy. Something I would personally view as dangerously unhealthy extremism. To me thats a clear example of when someones idealism makes them easy prey and victims. To make it clear I love peace, but I don't view turning the left cheek and martyrdom and victimhood as peaceful.
I normally wouldn't have picked trouble with my neighbour, but his girlfriend called me on his phone and claimed he was threatening her and hurting her. She said to the police the nazi is violent with her, also in the bedroom. Seen her getting picked up by the police a few times. Last time she had to get into an ambulance. Because I ratted him out for possibly rape and abuse for a woman in need, I now have to deal with him trying to scare me out of my house. What do I do now? This guy is allready trying to sell the evil pagan story to the police by the way. So they will be of no help... meanwhile my health, which is allready very bad is declining because of this, to the point where I might not be able to defend myself anymore. I think one day the nazi will attack again, and it might be my last. He uses terrible words, you don't even want to know, he is a real sadist. He throws hot water at me from the balcony. What do I do? Any tips on keeping my head cool during all this hatred for who I am?

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.