Retirement tea invitation template

Hello my fellow fans. I just uploaded a new fanfic on AO3 for you to appreciate called "A Taste For Ditter". Please enjoy.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/56078482
Synopsis Rozemyne, with the help of Dunkelfelger, was successful at real ditter and has become Aub Ahrensbach, shaking the political landscape of the country. It is now winter of the same year. Rozemyne has returned to the Royal Academy to attend her fifth year. Letizia has begun attending the Royal Academy as an archduke candidate with Rozemyne. Both of them are very eager for Rozemyne’s upcoming tea party.
The tea party is nearing and Rozemyne has sent an invitation to every duchy for an archduke candidate to attend. It will be the first simultaneous gathering of representatives from every duchy since the resolution of the conflict orchestrated by Georgine and Lanzenave. The dramatic changes have all duchies struggling to become accustomed to the changes and revelations.
Dunkelfelger is ecstatic about their military victories in Ahrensbach, Ehrenfest, and The Sovereignty. However, due to the knowledge and preparation provided by Lady Rozemyne, their victories were far too easy to satisfy their thirst for ditter. A petition is lobbied to the Royal Family to increase military readiness and national unity by hosting the long-forgotten game of treasure-stealing ditter. Unfortunately, the Royal Family does not consult Rozemyne about her tea party plans, and schedules the ditter game for the same time! How will our favorite book-loving gremlin respond?

I am a 30 years old woman, I met a great man (32 years old male) while I was on vacation. We went out on a date and had a wonderful evening, feeling a deep connection. We talked about our dreams and jobs, danced, and had a great time. We ended up spending the night at his place. Although we didn't have sex, there was some intimacy, but I was firm about not wanting to rush things.
He asked about my past relationships, how many I've had, and when the last one was. I asked him the same, and everything seemed fine. The next day, we woke up, kissed, had some tea and a chat, and then I went back to the hotel to check out. He mentioned he had an appointment.
Later in the evening, I told him my trip was ending in two hours and invited him to join me by the river, but he apologized, saying he had to meet friends in another city. By chance, I saw him on the train later on, but he didn't acknowledge me, and I passed by without greeting him.
Since then, I haven't received any messages from him. It's been two days. What should I do? Should I text him to explain the misunderstanding, or just text him to say I had a great time and suggest meeting again? Or should I wait for him to reach out?
TL;DR:
Met a great man while on vacation in Germany and had a wonderful evening together. Spent the night at his place with some intimacy but no sex, then parted ways the next day. Invited him to meet before leaving, but he declined due to other plans and didn't acknowledge me when I saw him on the train later. Haven't heard from him in two days. Should I text him to clarify or suggest meeting again, or wait for him to reach out?

2024-194 / MLZ MAP: 51.11 / Zedd MAP: 35.53 / Score Gap: 15.58
IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection
As I have mentioned before, as part of the Amazon Preview team, we receive early release films and shows in advance for review. We also sometimes get free passes for films upon release, either in person or online.
We received this invitation to watch an online screening for this film just Monday morning. Zedd and I jumped at the chance. Zedd is very much a documentary kind of guy.
While we lived in San Francisco, we got some awesome views of The Blue Angels, some of my favorites were from my high-rise office building. Others were while hanging out at the beach. All were quite enjoyable.
Hearing and seeing the team that works so hard, that does such amazing things, is such a pleasure. I think that this film will be so much better on the big IMAX screen.
However, I will admit that it started to dry up a little after the first 30 to 45 minutes. Neither of us are military service people nor are our family members. It’s just not an area of interest.
I feel like if you are in the military or have a special interest in flight, this will speak to you more than it spoke to us.
We are always glad to be invited to view a new film by Amazon Studios. This one was not our cup of tea, but to each their own. Like what you like! Movie On

I realize that this may be a little of a long-shot but I will try anyways. I am attracted to the poise and confidence of older women and I would like to meet someone here. I am not necessarily looking for anything specific but I am open to all possibilities.
I am a 45 year old man, most people seem to consider me handsome, with a fit body shape. I am 6 feet tall. I am university educated and I enjoy gardening, drinking tea, taking walks and I am very handy around the house.
Ideally I would like to meet someone 55+ who is retired or semi retired as I have time during the day due to my flexible schedule. Hope to hear from you!

My care team recommends supplementing with calm brand magnesium powder drink mix; they said it especially helps with leg cramps and constipation.
I was taking it pretty regularly during the 1st trimester, but life and executive function got in the way and I missed a bunch of weeks. During that time I got leg cramps and so much bloating & constipation. Every so often I had a streak of taking the magnesium for a few days, and it seemed to kind of help a tiny bit with regularity, combined with a fibrous diet and lots of water.... it just didn't seem clearly helpful enough to be motivating.
I've recently gotten back to it yet again, and this time have been taking it first thing in the morning before breakfast, instead of at night. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! Every day I've taken it, I've been able to have a spontaneous, easy bowel movement, usually within a couple of hours. This is in spite of having pretty carby breakfasts and not being the best with water drinking. (I'm trying to be better about that too! But my go-to healthy breakfast is a yogurt smoothie which just isn't as inviting as buttered toast and tea. Psychological well-being is important too..)
It's still early in the experiment, but so far taking magnesium in the morning has been really successful for me. On a practical note, it's way more motivating to see immediate benefits than to hope for vague, cumulative effects. I thought this could be helpful for some of us; it's quick to try if nothing else!

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/comments/191bmgs/am_i_wrong_for_ending_a_20_year_marraige_because/ Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/amiwrong/comments/1ajkd6s/update_am_i_wrong_for_ending_a_20_year_marraige/
Hey all, this is likely the final update on this account as things have mostly resolved.
My wife and I have completed our divorce and everything is official. We had an uncontested, amicable divorce with minimal disagreements. Our lawyers worked together to create the plan through mediation and a judge signed off on it a few weeks ago. In the end, the actual divorce process was pretty straight forward. The only complication was that our 17 year old was adamant about my having custody because their relationship with my ex-wife has really fallen apart as a result of this.
Initially my wife dug in her heals and was ready to give up on the uncontested marraige, but my son pretty much told her she could choose between letting him have a break for a few months to process and rebuild, or force him to live with her until he turns 18 and risk never seeing him again. I felt this was a bit harsh, but my wife backed down and we moved foward with my having primary physical custody until my son's birthday later this yer. For my part, I have encouraged my son to be open to fixing things as the actions my ex took before he was born didn't change the 17 years she cared for and loved him. Fortunately, as the divorce moved forward he has been spending more time with my ex and I'm optimistic they will work through this.
In the end, we pretty much split our retirement and investments 50/50. For our house, my wife really liked the house and I didn't, so she kept the house and most of the furnishings and took out a mortgage to pay me back half of the equity and half of the estimated replacement value of the furniture. Pretty much all of our other stuff was either easy to split (my car and her car, my music gear and her hobbies, clothing, personal effects, etc) or we just agreed to sell it and split the resulting profit. Things were a bit easier for us because we had already documented most of our valuable items and electronics for an insurance rider we added to our home insurance a few years ago.
Things have been going well for me personally. Both of the kids spend most of their time at my place and we are still very close, which was my biggest fear in the divorce. I have a new house that I really love and I gave into the mid-life crisis urge and traded in my outdated minivan for a Lexus LC550. I even had a woman at work (not a close coworker) invite me out to a coffee date. While I was up front with her that I'm not ready to date just yet, she said she would be happy to take a rain check and would be happy to go out with me when I'm ready. I'm honestly thrilled because she's really smart, has a great sense of humor, and our positions at work are far enough apart that we don't really work directly with each other at all.
My ex and I are continuing to go through couples counseling together. We have transitioned into having closure on our marraige and making sure we maintain our relationship enough to be effective coparents. While these sessions have been great to help me process things and keep things as healthy/positive as possible given the circumstances, it has also reenforced that divorce was the right option. It's clear from some answers in the sessions that my wife immediately started dating once the divorce process started, so whatever love was there was clearly on the way out already. I'm pretty sure the coworker she was "just friends" with dropped her off at our recent session. The fact that it doesn't even really make me mad is a good sign that I was also probably done with the marraige.
In the end, it will take a long time for me to heal from the betrayal, but I feel like I'm making good progress and I can honestly say that the divorce was unquestionably the right decision. I've probably cried more in the last 4 months than I have in the last 20 years, but for the last month or so I fell genuinely good about myself for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying having my own life, been busy getting my 17 year old ready for college in the fall and looking forward to a coffee date with a smart, funny woman in a month or two.

I originally posted this in the hoarders subreddit but was advised maybe more help could be found here. the first bit is my original post and a comment i made that i think gives more context. any help is appreciated.
i’m almost 20 and my parents have decided to move out of our childhood home to a retirement home on the lake. my mother is obviously a hoarder and we need to be moved out by july. she mainly hoards clothes which are basically to the ceiling in her room. there is just straight up junk everywhere. i’ve lived like this my whole life and i undoubtedly have issues stemming from it. for example, when my brother went to college i moved into his room. my parents let me pick out paint and said we were going to make my room “my own.” i was 12 when we did that and so far the only thing we did was prime half of the walls about 2 years ago. i have since went to college for a semester and i was away from home for 6 months and things are just how i left them.
i never had friends over, never had a room that felt my own, and was constantly blamed for it. when i expressed my concerns about my childhood my mom just said “well you could have had friends over if you just cleaned” or “we never painted your room because you're lazy” i, however, feel as though i wasn’t the problem in all of this. i never contributed to the hoard as i never brought anything into my house. during the holidays if my room was somewhat clean, my mother would throw things in my room to hide it from family. every year around christmas i have spent it cleaning nonstop just for it to look somewhat presentable. it always stressed me out. our kitchen is also hoarded. i love to cook and i just can’t when there is no counter space. i wouldn’t necessarily call her hoard “dirty.” there are no bugs, mold, etc. it’s just stuff.
i tried cleaning my room today because we need to move out soon and i just broke down. the amount of time it’s taken me to even get a single bag of goodwill clothes out was well over an hour and i just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to move out. i tried moving on the clean the kitchen and was met with my mom overstepping my cleaning process. she went through the trash and picked out the recycle. i told her that in order to get it done on time we need to just start throwing it away. (this stuff had been sitting out for months) she was insisting i do it her way.
at this point, i have just given up. cleaning makes me so overwhelmed and reminds me of the countless years of yelling around really special times in my life like i mentioned with christmas. i just feel as though my childhood was taken from me. i grew up relatively privileged and i feel so guilty for even feeling the way i do. like i’m not grateful for the life i got. i’m not really sure what to do. does anyone have any tips? i’m desperate.
My comment:
unfortunately i’ve tried putting boundaries in place. my dad has too. the stuff just keeps accumulating and it’s hard to keep it at bay. around 4 years ago my siblings and grandparents took control and cleaned the whole downstairs portion of house when my parents were on vacation. (not the best idea i know but we were desperate at the time) it took us 4 days of 9-5 cleaning and still didn’t finish completely (there were still corners with stuff in them but it was honestly 90% better) my mom was happy but she doesn’t seem to take what we did seriously.
it was hard for her the first few days and of course blamed us for missing stuff, which is expected. i’m not mad at how she reacted but she seemed ungrateful as the first thing she said was “you forgot some things” to which my dad said she needed to be happy. unfortunately she thinks that the entire house can get clean in a day, despite when i told her it took four days of nonstop cleaning from 5 people just for the downstairs. it makes it seem like despite how much time i put into cleaning her mess she’s never happy because she thinks i’m not doing enough. i told her how dire the situation is with them needing to move out in a little over a month and she seems totally unconcerned.
my dad has honestly been the only person who can get through to her but in the 6 months i was away from college they merely managed to declutter around half of the garage. (which is a nightmare itself) i just don’t know how to go about cleaning it. she won’t let me invite anyone over to help despite the need for it. i really want to do what i did about four years ago but fear she will freak out because she will be missing stuff when they move into the new house. as of right now though, i see no other option. i kinda feel like it falls on me to pick up the mess.

These are the things I learned about residency that I wish I could tell myself as a July intern on wards service. I know many of y’all here will disagree with a few, but this is how I see it. There’s definitely quite a few missing, so y’all fill in what I forgot.

• You earned the right to be here. You’ve proven you can do it so don’t doubt yourself.
• You’re not expected to know everything on day 1. Your job is to show up with a good attitude and ready to work hard.
• Listen to the nurses. Some of these critical care nurses, especially. Ask for their input and don’t brush them off as mere nurses.
• Write things down. Print a list and make check boxes by each patient for what needs to get done that day. There are interns who forget things and interns who write things down.
• The first thing you need to learn is to tell sick from not sick, and that can be tricky at times. Later on you refine that until you see a whole spectrum of how sick a patient is.
• Don’t waste too much time pre-rounding. Brief pertinent exam, ask patient about changes in symptoms, but the highest yield is asking the nurses.
• Call consults before noon if you can. It’s a courtesy to the consultant/their team plus they’re far more likely to be seen that day, avoiding a delay in workup for the patient.
• Your note doesn’t have to be an essay. Keep things simple and don’t get bogged down in eloquent explanations.
• However, document your reasoning well. Especially in tough cases, drop a paragraph about why you’re doing what you’re doing and the patient agrees.
• Auto text or whatever your EMR uses. Make an arsenal of these. Use them for everything. If you have a kind of case you see a lot, template out a note so you make sure you’re documenting all the important stuff in an efficient manner.
• Be cool to your co-interns. Y’all are about to spend the next few years together. Don’t leave them in a lurch or punt to others all the time.
• Call the seniofellow/attending, especially at first. Even if they give you attitude, it’s ultimately their responsibility and they should know that.
• Try to update families daily if you can, especially for your ICU folks.
• Never, ever lie. Even once will destroy your credibility.
• Have a good attitude in a way that refuses to be bullied - don’t take that shit.
• Read all your own images. Then when rads drops a report, read that and see if you can find what they’re describing for every notes finding. It’ll make you a better doctor.
• Get to your new city as early as possible. Do things like car inspection, dentist appointment, vet appointment, etc. before July kicks off.
• Our profession has a high rate of substance abuse. Do what that what you will.
• Sit down with your family and SO and let them know what to expect and try to explain how intense this job is. When there’s a difference between expectation and reality, you have problems. Either way, it’ll strain your relationships.
• Because of this, be deliberate on spending time with your SO/friends/family even if you’re dead tired.
• Wear comfortable shoes
• Scour the hospital for the best restroom. Sometimes having a proper relaxed shit can turn a day around.
• Get to know your chiefs. Go to them with problems earlier rather than later.
• Use every minute of PTO
• Step outside the hospital for a few minute a day when you can. See the sunshine.
• Make friends with the cafeteria staff and they’ll hook you up to no end.
• Make friends with the transporters and techs - they will save you.
• Appreciate the hell out of what PT/OT/SLP do.
• Know how to tell a patient no.
• Pharmacy is your friend - they know things
• If something is emergent, keep calling to follow up. If your crashing patient needs abx, it’s not like some doctor video game where you put the order in STAT and everyone goes rushing. Call down and check the status, let them know it’s needed now.
• Don’t order everything STAT
• Calling people in general gets so much more done and avoids so many headaches.
• You’re going to lose your first patient. Remember how you feel, and make sure you never forget it. You’ll need it later.
• Hang out outside of work, invite the nurses as well.
• Election ‘24 is coming up in November so work is a great place to talk candidly about politics and try to change others’ beliefs /s
• If you’re struggling, reach out to someone.
• Try to get outside on your days off
• It’s not uncommon to end up on an SSRI
• Take the stairs places as much as you can. Cardio and a nice lower body workout.
• Answer pages as they come in. Anything STAT call back the moment you see it. Aim to get back to everyone within 5 minutes if you can.
• Day to night nurse shift change. Wait 30-45 minutes, then go around and talk to the nurse for all your patients. Let them get report and see if they have questions. Explain the plan, agree on when to call you, make sure orders all look good and make sense. We even used to bring candy from the physicians lounge to pass out for this.
• Put the diet order in
• Keep your presentations short and to the point unless someone wants them longer. Know the details, but you don’t have to recite them. You don’t have to say all the exam findings that were normal and not related to the patient’s disease
• Always be prepared to dodge a punch when near a geriatric patient
• Even a 5-10 minute phone call with your loved ones on a frequent basis can do wonders
• Some people are just assholes and you can’t take things personally
• Other people are mad at something else and want to take it out on you.
• Be cool to the med students
• Get good at delivering bad news
• Celebrate delivering good news
• Fuck prior authorizations man
• When calling a consult, have a specific clinical question you need help answering. Know the patient well. Keep the call centered around what you need from them but be ready to provide details if needed. “Dr. X wants you on board” is resident code for “I know it’s bullshit but my attending made me call.”
• Delirium and sundowning are real af. The trick is to get them home.
• Benzos aren’t just “settle down” drugs. It’s like a whisky shot through the vein in the sense that it can also disinhibit people and make wildness worse
• Get to know 1 thing about each patient other than what’s in their chart. What job did they have? What’s their favorite team? Do they have pets? You’ll remember them better when the list is large and it can make the job more rewarding
• If the nurse is worried ALWAYS go to bedside
• If you feel the urge to get a tattoo, do it
• Read everyone’s note each day on your patients
• Case managers and social workers are heroes. Get to know them and work together to get patients proper dispo
• Don’t wear your damn shoes in the call room bed
• Sit down in patient rooms if you can. It shows you’re listening, it’s less intimidating for them, and they’ll tell you more.
• Talk louder to older patients
• Sternal rub like you mean it
• Sit done one day, caffeinate, and do all those stupid compliance modules in a single bolus.
• Never make the same mistake twice
• If things don’t add up, your math is wrong
• Some patients don’t care about their health and won’t look after it after all you do. That’s just the gig.
• If something adverse for residents goes into place on a “temporary” basis, it never goes back the other way. Fight for your rights.
• You’re not crazy - the patient always tells the attending something completely different or remembers some important detail. We get it.
• Have a good comfort show to stream when you come home half dead.
• Trust but verify (that’s actually a Russian proverb Reagan borrowed when speaking about the USSR)
• Remember to love it more than you hate it. Find a way to make it fun. They say it’s the best time you never want to have again. You get to save and improve human lives. There’s no greater calling in the world than that.

1. Courtesans and the Crown: I will be playing M! I am also open to potentially playing a MxM version. (1530s) Benjamin, the illegitimate son of a King, lives a life of luxury without any of the consequences that come with royal blood. He indulges in fine clothing, gambling and is a frequent patron of brothels. At sixteen, he met a courtesan named Antonia, who was five years his senior. Unlike the other women he had encountered, Antonia was beautiful, kind, and captured his heart. While they both share a deep love for each other, they face their own challenges. Benjamin is still learning the ways of the court at the age of eighteen, while Antonia holds a great deal of influence over him due to her life experience. From encouraging him to invite her to tea to spite his royal parentage and even convincing him to petition for legitimation to take his sister's throne, she is ready to shake things up, disguising their power-hungry nature as love. What started as a quiet and humble relationship has now turned them into vicious antagonists towards themselves and others, but their love for each other remains strong. Even though the character's name is Antonia, feel free to create your own character with a courtesan theme. I even encourage it!!!
2. Our Father, who art in Heaven: I can play M or F! (1450s) Through a combination of extortion, torture, and occasional bribery, Pope Castello has ascended to the Papal throne. Despite his vow of celibacy, his illegitimate offspring roam freely in the town, behaving as though they were the offspring of a monarch. His son, in particular, plowing through any woman with a pulse, loses vast sums of money gambling, and harbors his own dark secrets. Meanwhile, his father strives to elevate him to the rank of cardinal. However, what will happen when his son encounters the same fate as his father? Will he fall in love with a noblewoman and violate his church oath? This woman has her own secrets and a father who is eager to marry her off to the wealthiest suitor available. The resulting whirlwind will leave blood on the floor and lipstick stains on collars, reminiscent of The Borgias, but without the incestuous undertones.
3. Of course, Your Majesty: I will be playing M! (1500s) Your protagonist is the eldest child of a powerful monarch, destined to become the next Queen. During her childhood, she formed a close bond with the son of a Lord who was a bit older than her. As they grew up, their feelings for each other became more than just friendship, prompting them to explore a romantic relationship. However, it is the heavily religious 1500s, and fearing that their relationship would compromise her purity and jeopardize her chances of marrying another royal, the Lord's son was sent away to a chateau. Despite the distance, they kept in touch through letters and other means. But, a dramatic shift in the court's dynamics has brought him back, much to the chagrin of your character's father. He is willing to disrupt the status quo for the sake of love and occasionally for his own gain.
4. The Lost Princess: I will be playing F! (1480s-1520s) Princess Margery was adored by her subjects and set to ascend the throne one day. However, her fate changed drastically when, at the tender age of four, her carriage was attacked by bandits. In a desperate bid to survive, Margery pretended to be dead in the frigid snow of the forest. She wasn't certain what happened next, but she eventually found herself in the care of two kind-hearted parents who renamed her Elizabeth and raised her as their own daughter. As Elizabeth came of age, she began searching for potential suitors. But what happens when a young man uncovers her true identity? How does she make her way back to the castle, and what challenges await her upon her return? Most importantly, where do you fit into this tangled web of intrigue and deception?
5. For Our Kingdoms: I am open to playing M or F! (1530s) An arranged marriage between a prince and princess from neighboring kingdoms looms on the horizon. Is she a timid princess, suddenly thrust into the role of heir apparent, seeking a partner to bolster her claim to the throne? Or is she merely a commodity being sold off to the highest bidder? Regardless, what happens when two royals who are less-than-enthusiastic about the arrangement are forced to wed for the betterment of their kingdoms? With an unkind and brash prince making every quip in the book as he rises to the throne, she must find a way to make her marriage work. Will they find common ground, or will they be at each other's throats? Only time will tell.
6. Shadow in Stage Lights:I will be playing M! I am also open to potentially playing a MxM version. (Post-WWII 1940s) In the smoky haze of post-war Hollywood, where dreams are traded like currency and the past casts long shadows, Jack Turner returns from the frontlines of battle a shattered man. Once hailed as a literary luminary, he now struggles to find his place in a world that has moved on without him, haunted by memories he can neither escape nor forget. Enter your character, a radiant starlet whose ascent to fame is as swift as it is dazzling. Cast as the lead in Jack's latest play, she embodies the very essence of the character he once envisioned, igniting the stage with a brilliance that eclipses his own. But as the spotlight shines ever brighter on YC, Jack finds himself consumed by a bitter resentment, his heart seething with anger at the injustice of it all. In a world where shadows lurk behind every smile and fame is but a fleeting illusion, Jack and YC must navigate the treacherous waters of love and ambition, forging a path forward that leads them out of the darkness and into the light.
7. The West was Wilder: I will be playing M or F! (1830s) A young man is a moonshiner and owner of a notorious saloon in a small frontier town. With a reputation for brewing the finest illegal whiskey in the region, he walks a fine line between outlaw and respected member of the community. Meanwhile, a young lass is new to town and is seeking change. She has a tough exterior, but there is a vulnerability that draws folks in. As their paths cross in the dusty streets and dimly lit saloons of the Wild West, sparks fly between them. Whether it's a fiery confrontation over a poker game gone wrong or a chance encounter in the dead of night, their chemistry is undeniable. But with danger lurking around every corner and secrets waiting to be uncovered, their burgeoning romance is anything but smooth sailing.
8. Underneath the Bald Cypress: I will be playing F! (1930s) Amidst the sultry streets of New Orleans, the daughter of a wealthy sugar cane baron, finds herself torn between societal expectations and her own desires. Engaged to a controlling man of her father’s choosing, she longs for true love. Her path collides with your character, a jazz singer, a man of color, or something else entirely, sparking a forbidden romance that defies family secrets. As their love blossoms amidst the city's vibrant nightlife, she must choose between the safety of convention and the allure of a life filled with passion and uncertainty, where forbidden love and hidden truths threaten to unravel the world she knows.
9. Revolution or Run: I will be playing F! (Fallout Fandom) In Vault 47, life appears idyllic, with its inhabitants blissfully unaware of the horrors unfolding beneath the sterile corridors. Your character, recently assigned to a coveted scientist position, stumbles upon a hidden lab deep within the vault, where ghastly experiments are conducted on unsuspecting fellow dwellers. Amidst it all, your character finds help in a resourceful maintenance worker with a knack for uncovering secrets. With the weight of responsibility heavy on their shoulders, they must navigate a treacherous path, torn between loyalty to their community and the pursuit of justice.As tensions escalate within the vault, they must decide whether to ignite the flames of rebellion from within or to venture into the unforgiving wasteland beyond the vault's walls.
Linked here is my writing sample and lore explanation.
I am also open to sending a master list of my current OCs with their vague descriptions!
When you DM me, please send me the answers to these questions!

1. What is your name and pronouns?
2. What RP are you interested in?
3. Are you comfortable playing on Discord?
4. What gender are you interested in playing? (for scenarios 2, 5, and 7 only!)
5. What are your hard boundaries for writing? (i.e. unwilling to write gore/abuse/etc)
6. What is your biggest roleplay pet peeve?
7. What is your paragraph min/max?
8. What is the most important thing to you in RP?
9. Are time zones important to you? If so, what is yours?
10. Is ooc essential to you?
11. Are you okay with a fade-to-black romance style?
12. What is your typical romance speed? Slow/Medium/Fast Burn?

I will answer these questions back! Thanks for reading!

Never thought I would be making a post on here, but I only get 3 free therapist visits a year so here I am.
TLDR : My parents have fully replaced me with some guy (M28) they met at work/ church. I'm slightly hurt but ultimately it's their life and they can do what the please. I am more bewildered, and concerned about my parents being taken advantage of.
First some relevant background info:
My parents are VERY religious boomers. by this I mean more religious than you would believe until you actually spoke to them. growing up this created a lot of friction between us. As I reached my teens I became disillusioned with organized Christianity mostly due to the fact that a lot of modern day interpretations miss the point of what is written in the Bible. the hypocrisy I witnessed was rampant among church members including my parents. I strongly disliked their thinly veiled revulsion for any people who they considered "sinners", a title which was doled out on a whim. even while I was in the church it would be weaponized against other church goers and even myself once. a pastor from another church told a girl I was hanging out with that I would lead her to hell, despite the fact that I also went to church. she promptly cut off all contact despite admitting that she didn't want to, but was being threatened with being kicked out of her church groups of she did not.
back to my parents: we were at odds throughout my teen years as I began to avoid church and anything about it. I did not stop believing but I did not want to be associated with their type of toxic Christianity. this was not something they could understand. when I say they are fully indoctrinated it means they are irredeemable in many of their views. they were willing to ignore any and all boundaries I set about religion even to this day. despite me telling them that what they were doing would tear our family apart. in the end they chose religion over their children. my sister is essentially no contact with them.
as a very young child, our family moved around a lot. I was a continual outsider. I had no friends, at all. my parents would say it was no big deal cause I was just a kid and kids don't care about that stuff really, kids don't know the difference, etc. but I knew the difference and I desperately wanted friendship and community. the only constants were 2 hyper controlling parents who wanted a quiet and obedient follower.
eventually we moved to a place where I was able to form solid friendships for the first time in my life. it was , to this day, the happiest time period of my life. this lasted until my final year of high school when my parents decided to move. despite me having many friends whose parents offered me a place to stay for the final year, my parents forced me to move. this caused me to spiral into a deep depression for around 3 years. I developed enduring social anxiety which I deal with to this day. I have made peace with the fact that I will never have a lot of friends, but thinking about what I missed out on is painful. years later I found out they forced me to move because they prayed and God told them it would be better for all of us if I moved with them. we needed to stay together as a family. then 2 years later they moved back to the place they took me from. all I can do is laugh at this because it is so dark and obviously bullshit. when it was my life getting fucked up "God" said ok we needed to stay together as a family. when I needed support he said naw just ditch him and move away.
my life was destroyed by religion. I have since learned that of course, we are ultimately in charge of our own happiness, but at the time I had no knowledge of trauma or therapy. simply 2 parents who reduced every concern I ever had in my life to "just pray about it". in fact throughout my entire life they diminished all of my concerns, big and small. in addition, they would often judge me for everything I did, even if they were innocent to a non religious person. so I would only tell them about things when I absolutely had no other choice. and they would treat them as wholly unimportant. they also believed that men should not be upset or emotional and should figure things out for themselves. so they would help my sister out whenever she needed it, including buying her a new car, while I was riding my bike an hour each way to go to engineering school. there were many points in my life where I was at rock bottom, and despite them having more than enough means to help me, they did not.
compounding this is the fact that all the while they diminished my own concerns, they would bend over backwards to help people not in our family. they always wanted to appear nice and helpful, but this never extended to me. in fact they would often do things to inconvenience me in order to help some random person they just met.
All of these circumstances created a very weird relationship dynamic between us all. I became avoidant, negative and pessimistic for years before I discovered therapy and began to work through my mental health issues. I struggled in many relationships I had, and always felt like I was a lesser person than everyone else. this persisted until around 3 years ago when I began to correct the errors in my thinking patterns. despite therapy, I still struggle to have a relationship with my parents. all they talk about is religion. I have given up trying to enforce the boundary there. there is no point. they don't know anything else. they cannot be different and have no desire to change, in fact they see no error in their actions throughout the years. despite me obviously having issues. they essentially chalk it up to me just being a bad egg. I have since been able to forgive them, but the trauma I experienced throughout my life has left me with tendencies they hate. I withdraw when I am depressed, I am prone to anxiety from time to time, I have ADHD, I distance myself from them because all they do is cross my boundaries to preach at me, etc etc.
Back to the present:
Before my dad retired he hired this guy, let's call him Raj, at his work. just a basic bank employee. he is a nice enough guy I think. a little awkward but nice enough. I believe he has an engineering degree from another country but it got rejected by our country, so he had to just take whatever job he could get. he is new to the country and a bit of a fish out of water, this is the reason I think most people looked past his non ordinary behavior.... I literally cannot imagine myself ever hanging out or going on vacations with my boss, who is 20+ years older than me.
he struggled to understand the job and my dad had to spend a lot of time with him to get him up to speed. he began to go to my dad for life advice beyond work, as he struggled with making friends or getting a girlfriend. I think eventually my parents invited him to church and he went, despite being originally Hindu. eventually he went with them regularly and integrated himself with them to a wild extent that I did not realize until this past weekend when they came to "visit". they brought this motherfucker with them without saying shit beforehand. paid for his hotel and all his food. bought him clothes and took him on errands. all while saying they didn't really have time to assist me; I cannot drive anymore as I began having seizures 3 years ago.
when we did finally hang out, my own parents mistakenly called me his name many times. they acted like a family and treated me like I was just some dude lol.
we went out to dinner with some friends of theirs who were also in town. during dinner they called Raj my parents adopted son. needless to say I was very weirded out. but did not say anything. if I did they would just say I was being negative and I look like the asshole.
I know Raj does not make a lot of money but somehow he was able to buy a small house a year after starting work. I have not seen proof personally but my sister has said she is sure that my pprovided the down payment. this is where I began to be concerned they are being taken advantage of. this is very out of character for my parents.
I have considered also the weirdest possiblity, that they may have some kind of weird ass sugar baby relationship but I simply cannot see that being the case. they are hypocrites about some aspects of Christianity, such as not judging people, but they are 1000% devout when it comes to what they would deem as sin.
I get the impression that they have empty nest syndrome and compounded with their propensity to bend over backwards for non family members, they have essentially adopted this guy. he is at their house several times a week. as far as I know my mom prepares most of his meals.
it appears to me that they found a replacement for me with none of the mental health issues and resentment ( that they caused) and who was willing to play the part of a church goer. I fear now, based on watching them shop together that he is taking advantage of them. If they are just choosing to help him out money wise that is MASSIVELY out of character for them to do so to this extent. this is the main reason I think they are being taken advantage of. they are doing things for this guy they would NEVER do for anyone.
I am not sure how to approach this situation or what to even think about it. I lack the bandwidth to really mull it over or be upset about it. one thing I am certain of is that me saying anything about this will do nothing except make them mad and bring them closer together .they think I am simply a negative person and don't really listen to my thoughts on things, whether I am right or not.they have always treated me like I'm a moron
Is this as weird to you as it is to me? What would you do in this scenario?

As the title suggests, I'm kinda fed up with my parents. They seriously need therapy.
I'll start with my mom. She's actually really selfish. Since childhood, I was never allowed to go out and play with other kids. She says that I am allergic to dust and that she'll have to clean my clothes which are full of dust. I ignored her and played out few times but eventually gave in. I got immersed in mobile and the internet. I was never let alone to go out and explore like my neighbour kids. They used to hang out the entire day and ride their bicycle across the neighbourhood and to town. She restricted me to ride the cycle within my house premises. Then she never allows or gives me privacy. She always intrudes me while I'm bathing, changing clothes etc. The main reason is she treats me like a child. She tells me to do this, do that, wear this dress. That's not a big issue as far as I'm concerned. But whenever I tell her Im going outside, she takes the clothes including my inner wear from the cupboard even though I tell her I can do it myself. I think she has some disorder that makes her think she will lose authority of the house and authority over me if I start being independent. She loves when I ask her for help. And she advices me for 10-15 mins if I do the same. She does not allow me to iron my own clothes, enter the kitchen and do the dishes, prepare tea or anything that makes me independent. When I was installing my PC in my room, she interfered and said that the PC should be installed in the hall because apparently the Internet cable will have to be longer. I still don't understand that. I think she does not want me to have privacy. She also doesn't like when I lock my doors. So basically she made me a useless, dependant, introvert kid. I have done several attempts during childhood to break away from her control. I even went out to play with kids for 1 week when I was 11 or 12 but apparently my brother got injured when another kid accidentally rode the bike over his leg which was a minor case. She held on to it and permanently banned me from going outside. Whenever guests come to the house, she gets out from the back of the house and talks and deals with them outside the house itself. She rarely let's guests in. She hates when I say I'm inviting a friend to the house. She reasons with me that "The house will have dust and dirt if he comes to the house". Also, whenever we come home, she forces me to scrub the legs hard for the dirt or something to come off and wash our legs with soap before entering the house. WTF logic is that? We are going to bath anyways so why do that? Because of that she installed a outdoor bathroom/shower which is a small cube like thing outside our house. Also, she doesn't allow me to shift table fans, tables or anything from one place to another. My dad once did so and she screamed and shouted and she slammed her head in the wall herself as if in a sign of protest(I felt really bad and ashamed that day). My room actually has an AC which I don't want to turn on during racing season but she stops me from turning on the fan during that time and forces me to sleep with AC on. She's saying that when fan turns on, there will be dust in the room. I'm really stuck now. I can't go out, can't move things in my own room, I can't invite friends, My relatives and cousins don't come to my home because my mother will not let them in. Whenever I see my relatives and cousins they ask me "Why are you not going out of the house or letting us into your house?". I don't have an answer and it destroys my self confidence. I told her a lot of times to see a doctor but she psychiatrist but she won't. Whenever I'm in school hostel, I feel like it is the real me. I joke around, have fun, talk a lot but when I'm at home, I feel like a different person. I don't feel comfortable laughing, joking or going outside. The main reason is her. My MOM. I still get nightmares thinking if my friend asks to come to my home. I get real anxiety if they come to my home. I fear that they might dislike my mom's outrageous behaviour. Also I fear they will dislike me because I do not go out of the house and be independent. I fear that they will know that I do not have friends outside my school Circle (which the main reason is my mom). She also occassionally swears at me. Calls me bad words and curses at my dad. My biggest dream now is to escape this hellhole of a home and live in some hostel or room.
Now my dad. He is the biggest gambler ever. Not literally but I'll explain. He was born in a poor farmer family but he did a diploma and started working in Dubai. He earned a good amount every month and he built our house. But he got his biggest opportunity in Oman where he was offered ₹1.25L/month salary + Free apartment + Free transport + Free food + Subsidised School for me. He took the offer and we moved there. But after 1 year, he did a dumb thing. He took a loan of ₹50L and started a hotel business without even having any business experience. He employed 10-15 people before the business even started. The business was a huge failure and he lost the money. Meanwhile his company also found this out and kicked him out. I studied 1 year there in a good school but had to leave because of him. He lost ₹50L + Our livelihood in Oman. We came back to India and he got another job in UAE paying ₹2L/month but quit that too because his boss was upset at him at work. Then he got another job in Kazakhstan paying ₹3L/month but quit that too because of his laziness. He always believed he is born to do business. He kept saying he will because a multi-millionare within a year. He kept quitting jobs and now he worked in India itself for ₹30k/month. He then started a milk business which failed and he lost ₹1L. Now he started another Tyre business which is now running at loss. He also has a habit of spending money aimlessly. He buys random expensive clothes, shoes, phones, TV, Expensive chairs etc. He lost all his money on all of these. He does not have a sense of fear over financial ruin. He is now telling me that he'll sell our inherited land and buy a Innova Crysta. I have no words.
The only way we still are not bankrupt is my mothers small rental unit that gives us ₹20-30k/month. There is a lot more to say about my relatives. But that's whole another lesson. Any advice on what I should do? I have done everything in my power to make them right.
(Sorry for rant. Didn't intend this to be so long)
TLDR : My parents are insufferable. What can I do to fix it?
(I just passed out of school, so moving out is not an option. I'm also repeating for JEE near my house)

As the title suggests, I'm kinda fed up with my parents. They seriously need therapy.
I'll start with my mom. She's actually really selfish. Since childhood, I was never allowed to go out and play with other kids. She says that I am allergic to dust and that she'll have to clean my clothes which are full of dust. I ignored her and played out few times but eventually gave in. I got immersed in mobile and the internet. I was never let alone to go out and explore like my neighbour kids. They used to hang out the entire day and ride their bicycle across the neighbourhood and to town. She restricted me to ride the cycle within my house premises. Then she never allows or gives me privacy. She always intrudes me while I'm bathing, changing clothes etc. The main reason is she treats me like a child. She tells me to do this, do that, wear this dress. That's not a big issue as far as I'm concerned. But whenever I tell her Im going outside, she takes the clothes including my inner wear from the cupboard even though I tell her I can do it myself. I think she has some disorder that makes her think she will lose authority of the house and authority over me if I start being independent. She loves when I ask her for help. And she advices me for 10-15 mins if I do the same. She does not allow me to iron my own clothes, enter the kitchen and do the dishes, prepare tea or anything that makes me independent. When I was installing my PC in my room, she interfered and said that the PC should be installed in the hall because apparently the Internet cable will have to be longer. I still don't understand that. I think she does not want me to have privacy. She also doesn't like when I lock my doors. So basically she made me a useless, dependant, introvert kid. I have done several attempts during childhood to break away from her control. I even went out to play with kids for 1 week when I was 11 or 12 but apparently my brother got injured when another kid accidentally rode the bike over his leg which was a minor case. She held on to it and permanently banned me from going outside. Whenever guests come to the house, she gets out from the back of the house and talks and deals with them outside the house itself. She rarely let's guests in. She hates when I say I'm inviting a friend to the house. She reasons with me that "The house will have dust and dirt if he comes to the house". Also, whenever we come home, she forces me to scrub the legs hard for the dirt or something to come off and wash our legs with soap before entering the house. WTF logic is that? We are going to bath anyways so why do that? Because of that she installed a outdoor bathroom/shower which is a small cube like thing outside our house. Also, she doesn't allow me to shift table fans, tables or anything from one place to another. My dad once did so and she screamed and shouted and she slammed her head in the wall herself as if in a sign of protest(I felt really bad and ashamed that day). My room actually has an AC which I don't want to turn on during racing season but she stops me from turning on the fan during that time and forces me to sleep with AC on. She's saying that when fan turns on, there will be dust in the room. I'm really stuck now. I can't go out, can't move things in my own room, I can't invite friends, My relatives and cousins don't come to my home because my mother will not let them in. Whenever I see my relatives and cousins they ask me "Why are you not going out of the house or letting us into your house?". I don't have an answer and it destroys my self confidence. I told her a lot of times to see a doctor but she psychiatrist but she won't. Whenever I'm in school hostel, I feel like it is the real me. I joke around, have fun, talk a lot but when I'm at home, I feel like a different person. I don't feel comfortable laughing, joking or going outside. The main reason is her. My MOM. I still get nightmares thinking if my friend asks to come to my home. I get real anxiety if they come to my home. I fear that they might dislike my mom's outrageous behaviour. Also I fear they will dislike me because I do not go out of the house and be independent. I fear that they will know that I do not have friends outside my school Circle (which the main reason is my mom). She also occassionally swears at me. Calls me bad words and curses at my dad. My biggest dream now is to escape this hellhole of a home and live in some hostel or room.
Now my dad. He is the biggest gambler ever. Not literally but I'll explain. He was born in a poor farmer family but he did a diploma and started working in Dubai. He earned a good amount every month and he built our house. But he got his biggest opportunity in Oman where he was offered ₹1.25L/month salary + Free apartment + Free transport + Free food + Subsidised School for me. He took the offer and we moved there. But after 1 year, he did a dumb thing. He took a loan of ₹50L and started a hotel business without even having any business experience. He employed 10-15 people before the business even started. The business was a huge failure and he lost the money. Meanwhile his company also found this out and kicked him out. I studied 1 year there in a good school but had to leave because of him. He lost ₹50L + Our livelihood in Oman. We came back to India and he got another job in UAE paying ₹2L/month but quit that too because his boss was upset at him at work. Then he got another job in Kazakhstan paying ₹3L/month but quit that too because of his laziness. He always believed he is born to do business. He kept saying he will because a multi-millionare within a year. He kept quitting jobs and now he worked in India itself for ₹30k/month. He then started a milk business which failed and he lost ₹1L. Now he started another Tyre business which is now running at loss. He also has a habit of spending money aimlessly. He buys random expensive clothes, shoes, phones, TV, Expensive chairs etc. He lost all his money on all of these. He does not have a sense of fear over financial ruin. He is now telling me that he'll sell our inherited land and buy a Innova Crysta. I have no words.
The only way we still are not bankrupt is my mothers small rental unit that gives us ₹20-30k/month. There is a lot more to say about my relatives. But that's whole another lesson. Any advice on what I should do? I have done everything in my power to make them right.
(Sorry for rant. Didn't intend this to be so long)
TLDR : My parents are insufferable. What can I do to fix it?
(I just passed out of school, so moving out is not an option. I'm also repeating for JEE near my house)

So we're new friends and you've been invited over to our house for a social visit. You know that we're "intense" but you haven't really caught on to what extent. "Obsessed" hasn't even entered your mind. Finnian and your partner are chatting in another room and you and I are getting some tea or coffee for all of us. I prepare everything essentially the same and we get ready to serve except I add the tiniest pinch of a sweet spice blend into Finnian's cup and not anyone else's. I'm not hiding it but I'm discreet. You notice and shake it off. You offer to take the cups in to where the others are and I accept. Except I take Finnian's cup from you and give you someone else's because I serve him. You think it's strange but don't say anything. We get to the others and I specifically hand him his cup or I pour and prepare and hand him his cup. As everyone else is served you take note that we all have the same except Finnian's cup has the slightest little bits of spice dissolving. As he presses his lips to the cup and sips I see that you are watching this and then you see I'm watching you and smiling at you. "Tell me more about what you were saying..." I interrupt your thoughts.
Don't misunderstand me, I'll be open if you ask. I'll even offer you something similar, just not from his blend. I serve him, though. I have even interrupted my parents or in-laws to serve him. He can refuse any time, from me, you, whom ever. It's just what I do to him. I touch what passes between especially if it has to do with food or beverage. You don't understand fully, friend, I have a small spice container in my purse for when we go out to a restaurant or for a beverage. Nothing is hidden and he knows and he lets me. I'm sure I look controlling or obsequious but do you think I care?
This is one of my romantic expressions and it actually began in the first week of our relationship but slightly different. The flirt I was doing was mixing up glasses. After kissing him I found that I have a "thing" for his "taste." There is no other way I can put it but I like it. It seems that we can only talk about "wet kisses" but never talk about swapping spit. So what does this have to do with dinner? I simply wanted to drink and eat after him and he me. This is an absorption fetish thing. --- It was a simple thing to do. The waitress gave us water glasses. I drank some water leaving a subtle lipstick mark on my glass and while he was talking I would take a sip of his water leaving subtle lipstick mark on his glass. This is easy to do if you "play" with the glasses in between sips by moving them around. Not in some bold fashion but gently moving them, playing, fidgeting. Eventually they are shared glasses. --- Did he notice? Yes. The waitress noticed too and tried to get him a new glass. When he actually told her it wasn't necessary it excited me and something was engraved in our lifestyle. I don't want to get offensive but I was being bold but light as well. Now, this sharing is second nature to us and has even lost its edge. - excerpt from previous IRL story
Now I've elevated this to a whole new level.
Next time, Periwinkle and her friends...
for Part 1 of series

I work in a fairly tightly knit community, and unfortunately, I can't stand one of my coworkers. She's one of those types of people that if something is even slightly counter to what she thinks 'should' happen, she'll report you to management. Prior to this initial event, I thought we had gotten along okay and had you know, a good enough professional relationship.
Here's the Plot: She, let's call her Pepper, wanted to work friday and saturday nights for weekend loading. It wasn't part of her regular roster. It was part of mine and 2 others. When she last worked with any of us, and we were sitting down for 5 minutes, she took a photo, and kept it. Stored it on her phone until she had enough "evidence" to report all 3 of us, AND two other staff who happened to occasionally work night shift. The complaints were 'sleeping on shift' and 'not answering calls' that sort of thing.
Management in the write up said "not to discuss it with other staff". Management was also in Pepper's pocket and would -frequently- favour or take her word over anyone elses. The timing of the write up, and the dates of the photo complaints meant that a) I'm going to verify everything with my coworkers b) they weren't on shift for two of the dates reported, let alone on shift with her, and c) I am Very Mad.
Prior to talking to any of us, Management changed my roster due to these complaints. So now I was exclusively working with Pepper, was no longer working weekends, AND had lost 1 shift a week due to the timing of my swing from finishing at 6am to starting at 2pm.
The meeting with Management happened, I tried the very polite 'if I was asleep at any point this month, it was a faint not a rest, and here is medical proof that I'm having trouble'. Management didn't care 'you can't sleep on shift, here you are clearly asleep' like, bish, I am clearly sitting completely upright, not reclined, doing my best to stay awake but go off. These are your complaints but it's fine for Pepper to take a 10-15 minute break to have a smoke every half hour?
This was a few months ago, so my piping hot tea is now more lukewarm. I spent two weeks on this "new roster" absolutely seething, and telling everyone in the facility what Pepper had done, getting herself the nickname of paparazzi, several other coworkers refusing to work with her. And her net "gain" is my active refusal to call her in for any night shift if someone else calls out.
I have 2.5 weeks off. The monday before I return, the supervisor sends out an email saying manager is on leave and isn't to discuss work things with staff. That wednesday he sends another saying early retirement. And I'm like ??? did I get her fired?
Fast forward to now and Pepper -routinely- arrives late to work on mondays, subsequently refusing to talk to me on tuesdays because I have to report it. I'm looking for a second job because I cannot work with this woman, any complaint or comment that she disagrees with and there'll be some bs complaint levied against me. Or she'll just refuse to do something -- there are tasks that she'll stop doing -specifically- because the following shift mentioned things that they encountered from overnight etc with the justification of "I can't do everything!" She'll actively respond to a call and then ignore the request.
I am very pissed, and I am not exactly quiet about my grumbles in this regard. So everyone (or near enough) knows there's beef. And exactly what has happened. I'm trying to be polite and professional to her, idc if Pepper doesn't talk to me all night, please, ignore me. But there is a bare minimum of communication required and she will actively avoid that bare minimum when pissed at me.
I am really struggling to work with this woman, and I don't really want to take someone elses shifts so I'm job hunting (ha, in this economy?) for lack of other options AITAH?

I (24F) am having issues with my friend group over the man (31M) that I picked. I’ll have to provide the long background story for context.
My friend group consists of several individuals. The specific few I will talk about I will refer to as “J” “M” and “A.” They are all 24F. J and M are a couple. These girls seem to have the strongest opinion about the ordeal. I met my friends in middle/high school. We didn’t become close until our college years. I love these people and we’ve gone on many trips and shared many experiences together.
In early 2023, I was asked out by a guy who frequented my place of work. He had apparently noticed me for some time. It is quite rare for me to “date,” but something about him gave me the sense I could trust him. He gave off good vibes overall. We went on a date a few days later and discovered we have everything in common. EVERYTHING. From our morals, values, hobbies, childhood upbringing, family dilemmas, favorite foods, love for traveling, etc. we are the same person in two separate bodies. The date was such a success and I knew then in my gut that he was going to be someone special.
Unfortunately, our beginning took a turn. We initiated dates back and forth that fell through due to valid reasons dealing with weather, conflicting schedules, etc. During this break between dates, he took the time to think if he was ready to start a new relationship. Although he liked me a lot, he was a little unsure unbeknownst to me. He’d been in several relationships before and they ended with him getting hurt whether they ended on good or bad terms. He was getting cold feet and didn’t know how to communicate that to me. He didn’t want to officially end it and he also didn’t want to lead me on so he said nothing for awhile. Although it wasn’t necessarily thought out, he was buying himself time until he knew how he felt (I learned all this later on). Then came about a month with no contact. During this time, he was dealing with family drama and I was becoming anemic. I eventually did need a blood transfusion. I mention this because that month apart went by fast and we didn’t have much time to linger over the thought of each other. I did notice he hadn’t reached out though. I’m certain now that he wouldn’t have ignored my messages had I sent any, but I was honestly waiting for him to reach out first. I was a little hurt to think that he had changed his mind and didn’t have the guts to tell me.
Sometime in that next month, when I returned to work after my hospital stay, I saw him at my job. I thought he saw me. He left and said nothing. I was actually devastated. He had been so kind and I didn’t know why he had a change of heart. At least he should’ve told me about it anyway. I decided that I was going to text him that night. I mentioned I had seen him at work, thanked him for the initial first date, apologized for not reaching out on my end, and I sort of wished him farewell under the assumption he wasn’t interested. It was very professional and I let him know that there were no hard feelings had he changed his mind. I was expecting some lame, typical excuse response if I even got one. He sent back this long text message apologizing, explaining himself, and asking me questions. He explained his fears and asked if we could start a “friendship” of sorts to keep a slow pace. There was chemistry of course, but he was afraid of me and now I was afraid of him. There was enough there to where we wanted to spend time together, but I needed to be sure I could trust him with my feelings and he also needed to be sure he could trust me with his heart. To this, I agreed to see him again.
We spent time going on casual dates and talking a lot. He became my friend. We talked a lot about what happened with the break over the following months. I told him how hurt I was and how communication is important to me. He understands the impact of going no contact abruptly. It has been entirely resolved and I also take responsibility in my part of not reaching out to him either. Ever since the break, he became consistent. We’ve talked every single day since. He was patient with me and I was patient with him. We earned each other’s trust and are now madly in love. It happened slowly and quietly. I have never met such a soft, kind, understanding, sensitive man. I am more myself with him than I ever have been before. If soulmates are real, then he is mine.
Now to the tea. Of course, my friends knew (most) all of this. I told them about the big events as they were happening. They were excited for me on my first date, they sympathized with me when he no longer reached out, etc. They were surely surprised when I decided to spend time with him again. I asked them to trust me. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. What happened was a mistake. As my man and I spent more time, my friend J would reach out asking me questions about him. I told only her about my concerns in the beginning. Back then, I was guarded and nervous to proceed, but it was something I knew I had to do. I had to find out for sure what kind of person he was.
Now, J, she’s a fireball. I love that girl, but I’ll admit she’s one to hold a grudge, keep score, and quietly judge. She’d never admit it. I made a mistake in choosing her as my confidant in those early days. I was looking for advice when speaking to her because I do value her opinion. She then went and told the other friends in my group, M and A included, about my man—what a bad person he seems to be, using her words, which frankly, are very different from mine. What makes me mad is she got to tell them about him, not me. Not even any of the positives either. This was all before they had even met him and they already didn’t like him. They had no problem scolding me for being with him.
Months down the road, I arranged a meeting for everyone. My friends thought a bar would be a great place. Still not sure about that. It was awkward. Nobody talked more than a few words. My man was shy and my friends didn’t really do anything to make him feel welcome. I was the only one babbling all night it seems like. You’d think that as time goes on, it’d be different. More meetings will help everyone be comfortable. Nope. Every time after was awkward. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to him at a time. It’s very “surface level” talk even now—a year later.
My last birthday had come around and J, M, and A took me out for drinks. It turned into a lecture session about how I seriously need to break up with him. They scolded me on “allowing a man to waste my time.” They criticized his career choice, our age difference, his “character,” etc. Mind you, this is based off of this one mistake and a few other things that I mentioned to J in private that were no longer an issue. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking I was going to have to break up with him to please them.
Of course, I couldn’t. They still invite him to events and friend functions out of politeness, but it’s always the same. They don’t acknowledge him. It makes me especially sad when my man makes comments like, “I’ve never seen so many shy people in one room” (He thinks my friends are just shy when they’re really just ignoring him). He’s printed out their pictures for our scrapbook and labeled them as “new friends.” I haven’t told him the truth and I probably never will.
A few months ago, J, M, me, and my man had plans to go to this local indie concert. Tickets are free. The concert was on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, was scheduled for my man’s nephew’s 2nd Birthday Party. His brother’s family would be traveling from out of town to celebrate their son. Well, things didn’t go according to plan. The brother decided to come a day early, the day of the concert. I should have cancelled the concert date then when I learned this news, but I told J and M we were still coming because my man still wanted to go. We figured we’d be able to sneak away since the brother had come by himself and wanted to come over and take a nap since he works odd hours. Well, my man’s dad dropped by and the brother didn’t take his nap as he’d planned. Now, having company over with expectations, I made the difficult decision to cancel with my friends last minute. I realize it is rude, but something came up. I didn’t see how we could go anymore.
My friends let me have it. J and M were so angry. They told me how rude we were and how disrespectful it was to their time to opt out of the concert which was free and in town by the way. There was also the two of them and they could have easily gone on a date. I think it would’ve been equally rude to leave our company or rush them out the door. I picked my battle. I should have gave them more notice, but I didn’t know we weren’t going until the last minute. It couldn’t have happened any other way. We fought over text for awhile. She accused me of being so different now, saying and doing things out of the ordinary for me. The truth is, I’m just growing up. J ended the conversation saying, “Well, we’re just going to stay mad.” She claimed to understand my circumstance, but she didn’t. We didn’t talk for weeks after.
I eventually got invited to a breakfast date to which I declined. I have been avoiding all of them for awhile. I keep getting “I miss yous” from J. She keeps asking when we’re gonna hang out next. It’s also true that J and M are now moving 4 hours away at the end of the month. My problem may solve itself. That does sound awful though. I feel like an asshole. I have not been a good or present friend lately. I’m so busy, tired, and I have no room for petty drama. I’m not giving up my friends yet, but I will gladly choose this boy over them. He’s given me more peace in one year than they have in five years.
My boy and I are now engaged. I told my friends the news. They said some nice things I guess. J texted to let me know “If I’m really happy, she’ll support me.” This would be nicer if it was coming from a concerned friend. To me, this whole situation feels controlling. It’s more than concern. There’s venom behind it. They don’t care about the wedding either. They don’t ask me fun questions or get excited when it comes up. When I eventually explained how he proposed, they seemed disinterested. I could tell they were judging the experience. When I finally showed J the engagement ring in person all she said was, “Take it off” in a snippy tone so she could try it on.
I’m so disappointed in my friends. I always wanted a big friend group and especially to share this big milestone with. I haven’t even gotten excited about wedding planning because I’m dreading going over the bridesmaids list. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening. I definitely need to get this off my chest and outta my life. I can’t believe I’m losing my friends over a boy.

Posted on his Facebook page that he is moving to a Communications job at SSU. Thanks for everything Dustin!
On Sept. 11, 2001, a series of terrorist attacks set me on a path to do three things: to correct misinformation as a life goal, to enter a field that in some way improves people’s understanding of their world, and to earn bipartisan respect in how I do it.
I’ve written an untold number of stories across 23 years and been taken to places new and old, familiar and fresh. I've interviewed rock legends, presidential candidates (well... one), and along the way met unforgettable sources ranging from a baby battling neuroblastoma to an elderly Lawrence woman growing a potato in her apartment and naming it like a son.
Of course, this path has had its drawbacks. I was told early on that “being a reporter doesn’t pay well,” and that I was entering a “dead industry” fresh from its collapse in 2008. But, after my first time talking to a doggie daycare that made the Today Show and becoming friends with a cat, I realized the career also paid in memories... amply... and there’s really no place I’ve worked that has created more memories for me than Salem. It’s the beat I’ve worked the longest as a reporter; the most recent Halloween marked my 10th in the city.
It also marked my last.
On Oct. 24, seven days before Halloween, I turned 40. I did so without having yet saved any money for retirement, and while working at least 70 hours per week at two to three jobs for the last several years. The combined paychecks still put me a good bit below median household income for the area — something that comes to mind every time I see a comment online that talks about how people should try living where they can afford to.
There's also a dark side to journalism that has emerged in the last half-decade, one that I’d argue doesn’t get enough attention. It’s one of the few industries that is entirely private while also being fully public-facing — journalists are effectively public officials, without the protections and benefits of being public officials. We take a lot of shots from readers, some of whom would delight in us being out of the job and financially destroyed, and we just chuckle and move on with our day.
For the dark side, there’s also the light. In some parts of the real world, journalists are thanked for their service as if we’re active military. I’ve been compared to nurses working the pandemic, held up as a leader stabilizing a maligned society, and invited to share my perspective and experiences with high school classrooms, podcasts, even Boy Scout troops.
Being a reporter pays well in the memories you collect along the way (thankfully they aren't subject to a tax). To that end, I’ve at times felt wealthy for having the privilege of covering a city like Salem — even with its dark underbelly actively arguing that I shouldn’t have a job or be allowed to exist.
With this double-edged sword equipped for so long, I knew I’d put it down at some point. When thinking about the kind of job it would take to leave the news industry, I found there was really only one that kept coming up in my mind: an opening in Communications at my Alma Mater, UNH. That would honestly be a dream... a position like that opening at a college campus I knew so well. To my fortune, that exact position opened in my backyard toward the end of 2023, on a college campus I know just as well as UNH — if not better.
In early June, I’ll be switching careers as I assume the role of Associate Director of External Communications at Salem State University.
I loved my college experience and always joked that if I won the lottery, I'd go back to school and get a degree in physics, do something nutty with string theory. But really, there’s something about the college environment where I’m most comfortable: everybody is there to learn and grow, and, from each graduate, society receives an opportunity for transformation. The feeling you get walking through a space like that can't really be replicated anywhere else... At least that's the fuzzy feeling I get when walking onto a college campus.
It’s hard to imagine leaving the only world I’ve known professionally and no longer covering the city I love, but I’m not going that far. I’m still working in the same beautiful city and would love for you to say “hey” when you see me out doing whatever. You may also see my byline from time to time, and I think I'd even like to continue doing “the spreadsheet” each night polls are open.
But, for now, this bro is going off the record to go back to school.