idk maybe i’ll get into how we met later on.. on my profile if y’all like it.
but background information; we met at an event/ party on the 31-Sep-23 and i tapped his shoulder because i was drunk and he looked hella cute. So after that we started talking and we later found out we were in the same school and yeah. He’s a 18M and i’m a 16F.
so he cold at first and i hadn’t really liked him like that. I was just talking to him to he polite because you can’t just ask for someone’s number and ditch them like that. So he was cold but i could handle it because everyone deserves kindness. we talked and it was okay, until the first visit. The first visit was on a thursday and i hadn’t gone to school. And on the previous day he had told me he was not going so we decided to link up. So i went to his house and i thought we were going to chill since that’s what he said. ooo boy i got that wrong. after we had finally linked up, he was cold. Really cold but as i said, i could handle it. I was quiet while we walked to his house because we had a meeting place since i didn’t really know his house. okay great, i was quiet and he asked me what was on my mind and i responded with “i’m wondering is i made a mistake coming here” he said “you can turn if you want” (example of how he was😂)
great so we get to his house and it’s a cozy little house. He lived with his mom alone but she was at work since this was like at 9-10 am. so we got there and we sat in his living room and u was just cuddling my purse in my lap.😂he sat on another seat and out of thin air this man pulls out a vape and he’s just scanning me head to toe. so he questions me a bit and i swear it was like i was in an interview but okay. So he says can you give me a hug and i stand up yknow being polite, and i hug him. And then boom kissing. so he says let’s go to his bedroom and that day i was on my periods. again my dunbass thinks nothing of it and we go. i walk in and i’m mesmerized cs this guy is CLEAN. so aight we carry on and his hand goes inside my pants. and i was wearing tights under my pants yknow. So long story short i tell him i’m on my period and he says it’s okay.
And after that i was soul tied🙃✨. Great so after the second time we had met and done it, i think the second time was the day i fell for this dude. Because it was 2 days after our first meetup and he was much more lighter. He was happier before we had even done it. So yeah after that we he progressively got warmer but he was still cold don’t get me wrong. He hated phone calls but would make an exception if i begged yknow. cool, until he just changed. We started arguing a lot and before christmas 2023 (if y’all want i can get into detail in another story )we broke up… well went on a break but later the day before Christmas, his ex posted him. We weren’t really known, he didn’t want to be seen with me but i was head over heels in love so i said okay because i didn’t want to jeopardize what we had.
we went on a few on and offs until i just couldn’t do it because he had been physically cheating on me right in front of my eyes. so we just stopped talking and it really broke me. Till May-24. This happened in feb-24 so all these months i’ve been thinking about him and how he was nice before. I still want him, all of him with his imperfections and coldness and smalll kindness. and the weird way of him expressing his feelings. i have accept him and love him the way he is but ig he isn’t looking for that. Should i go back ? even though i’m exhausted, i have hope he’ll become the guy i’ve known. Cold but has a soft little spot for me. I really wanna go back and i’ve went back i think like 3 times. He’s probably thinking i’m an easy target right? and i was in a relationship for a month but i was secretly hoping he’d leave me because i was still constantly thinking about my ex. I treated the guy okay but i really want my ex back.
if yalll like this, i can do more details about the 9 times we’ve met up and done shit. (maybe he’s just tired of me hey) we were approximately together for 5 months with the fights included.

Demographics:
Race - Black Residence - South Africa (International) Nationality - South African Income - $15k. Seeking close to full-ride. School Type - Small Urban Public school for boys
Academics:
GPA - 77/100 in South African school leaving exams. Achieved 5 B's and 2 A's.
Class Rank - No official class rank, estimate ~ 15/60
SAT - 1330 (submitted to colleges that accepted me)
Awards:
Award in South African Maths Olympiad Academic Colours at School
Academic Colours Award at School
Extracurriculars:
Squash B-team
Working part time jobs at parents' clothing store
Programming projects, web development
Poetry Competitions
Community Service. Media Team and Lighting Crew member at local church
Other insignificant activities...
Recs:
Counselor - 8/10 Math Teacher - 10/10 English Teacher - 6/10. Was rushed, not so good.
COLLEGE RESULTS:
Stanford University (REA) - Rejected, obviously. Hope to transfer here after 2 years, probs never gonna happen but it doesn't hurt to dream.
Harvard College - Withdrew.
Swarthmore College - Rejected
Rollins College - Rejected
Luther College - Rejected
Knox College - Rejected, twice. Before and after increasing EFC.
Beloit College - Rejected
Augustana College - Accepted, EFC of $22k per year
Bennington College - Accepted, EFC of $6k per year after work award. Will be attending.
REFLECTION:
If you have a dream, don't give up. Even if the odds are against you. I went from being bullied in a public South African high school to getting a near full ride to study in the US.
NEVER. GIVE. UP.

hi! i just graduated with a 3.5 from a T50 public liberal arts school in CS. however, when i started at this school i didn’t know what i wanted to major in and took a random assortment of business and econ classes. i also took a variety of math and algorithmic classes for my CS major.
my issue is that i didn’t do great in any of these quantitative classes (lots of Bs and Cs) and i’m worried that this will hinder me from getting into a good school. i want to pivot to project management in a couple of years, and would love to get an MBA. i know getting an MBA isn’t particularly necessary, but i want to do it (in 4/5 years) and id love to hear some of your strategies to mitigate my not great grades.
i’ve heard that i can enroll in supplementary classes or get an associates in something math heavy to prove i’ve gotten better, but let me know what you think!

Hello!
A bit of background: I'm 18 years old, half German half US-American. I've lived in Germany for basically all my life so I do not have any address in the States.
As a US citizen I need to file tax reports on all income (including in Germany), and I also need to register for selective service (I'm actually late already). For both of these, I need to get an SSN.
The embassy in Germany sucks and I want to go to the US anyway. Normally children get their SSN before age 12 tho; they'll ask me for proof that I have not lived in the US for all my life. Also, I'll need to give them an address to ship the card to, but without SSN no job, without job no housing.
So my questions are:

1. I have a German ID and my school reports from grade 1 through 12, is that accepted as proof?
   
2. Would I need a residential address in the US or could I rent a PO box to get the card?
   

Thank in advance

Throughout our marriage, my partner and I have not had many big arguments or problems. We generally get along well and quickly get over small disagreements. I would say we have a fairly normal relationship, with nothing to hide from each other and 100% trust. We only have each other and do everything together.
**First Argument:**
Recently, we started trying new things and becoming more outgoing. My partner just started a new job and loves her coworkers. Her workplace has a volleyball team that plays for fun every week. We were never involved in extracurricular activities at work or school, so this was new and exciting for us, especially for her, as she had always wanted to do sports and finally found a group she enjoyed being around. I was happy for her because, for the longest time, we had been trying to find something she would enjoy doing.
During the first week, we had such a blast that we decided to participate every week. The second week, she was really looking forward to it, but it coincided with my sister's graduation. I expected the day to be dedicated to the graduation, with a plan to attend the ceremony and then go out to eat with the family (this was not discussed, but I assumed it would be better to focus on the graduation and didn't even consider volleyball).
Right before we left for the ceremony, my partner told me she was putting on her volleyball shorts under her dress so we could play volleyball right after the ceremony and then go to dinner. This is where the tension started. I felt that since the schedule was tight, we shouldn't try to squeeze in volleyball and told her there was always next week. I also dislike being late and keeping people waiting, even though it was at a buffet. She said she wanted to go and that the buffet wasn't that important.
I thought squeezing in volleyball for even 15 minutes was too much. We were both angry, but we agreed to go to volleyball for a bit, even though it was just for 15 minutes. I told her I wasn't going to play because I wasn't dressed for it and was too mad to see anyone, so I just sat at the bar. Fifteen minutes turned into 30, and I called her, telling her we had to go because we were already late and I was really hungry. We made it to the buffet, but when we got home, we started to discuss what happened.
We argued, and she told me she still felt she was right and that I was overreacting. She said I didn't care about her happiness and that she had finally found something she loved doing. I argued that it was ridiculous to try and squeeze volleyball in after the ceremony and then be late to the buffet by 30 minutes. She started crying, and we went back and forth. This was the first time she filled out and printed divorce papers for me to look at. We had fights before where we discussed whether we were right for each other because we thought differently about certain situations, but it had never escalated to divorce papers. We talked it out some more, made up, and put the argument behind us.
**Second Argument:**
We recently purchased a house and agreed to let my 24M cousin live in one of our extra rooms. He pays us rent, and we felt bad for him since he didn't have parents and had been living alone before moving in with us. Also, the rent would help with the mortgage. Though he can be an idiot at times, he is on good terms with both my wife and me. He is almost the perfect tenant: clean, organized, and respectful. However, he has an eating habit he is unaware of and no one has told him about.
He tends to eat things and leave one piece for someone else to finish and clean up after him, or he eats too much, not leaving enough food for my wife and me. Whenever I catch him doing this, I remind him that other people live in the house too and he cannot eat so much at once. He tends to skip breakfast and lunch, so he gets very hungry by dinner and eats whatever he can find. I have had this talk with him a few times, and he understands he has a problem, but it's not the end of the world. Meanwhile, my wife is growing more frustrated with him but doesn't say anything, slowly distancing herself from him.
Yesterday was the day of the argument. My cousin said he would cook for us, and I told my wife on the phone that he was cooking. He went out to get groceries, but my wife didn't want to eat his food due to the growing tension with him. We feel he doesn't buy enough groceries for himself, but when we confront him, he tries to cook for us and scrambles to buy groceries because he feels bad. My wife got home from work, and I prepared some food for dinner, just enough for us two and maybe my cousin since he was out buying groceries for all of us. We had agreed to start making less food so my cousin would not eat so much at dinner, kind of portioning for him.
My wife prepared two bowls of what I was cooking and did not put out a portion for my cousin. She said to not make one as a message that we are not cooking for him anymore. I told her that would be awkward and suggested preparing a small bowl for him so it wouldn't be awkward when he got back since he was out and expected to be cooking for us. I think it is kind of cruel, even though he has upset us with his habit. She thinks it's okay and that she is right. After that, we went on a walk and argued like the last time. She said her job was to worry about her husband and not another man. and then told me that if I was so worried about him getting a bowl why didnt I make one for him? She has been upset with my cousin about his eating habits and other annoying things, and this was her way of telling him we are not cooking for him anymore. I argued that I would have handled it differently to make it less awkward, like preparing a small bowl and then talking to him afterward about buying his own groceries and not cooking for us anymore from now on. She again stated that she was right, also bringing up the last argument and saying I'm overreacting and making it more than it is and that even if I got up and tried to make him a bowl she would be mad at me too because she valued our dinner time together(even though it would have been a quick thing to do, but I backed down because afraid I would upset her) and said that I always try to be the nice and decent person while she is always the bad person.
I feel stuck in the middle because I'm always the mediator in these arguments and feel like our arguments are always at this level of intensity. How do I handle these types of arguments?

I've had coverage from Healthcare.gov for about 3-4 years now while I've been in school. For medical/vision/dental at $40k/yr, my premium was $50/mo. Now that I've graduated and got a job, I updated my salary to $65k/yr, and my premium went to $460/mo.!
My new employer offers health insurance through a broker (Lucent Health), and every benefit is through a different company. Medical is through Lucent Health, pharmacy is through ProAct, dental through Cigna, vision/life/AD&D is through MetLife, surgery/imaging is through KISx, etc. This is for about $200/mo. I feel like having insurance like this will be a headache compared to having everything from one company like Ambetter, which is who I have now through the Marketplace.
I'm on medication and I like my current doctors, so I want to keep my current Marketplace insurance, but fuck it's expensive, especially considering my income didn't drastically increase. Idk what to do. What would y'all do?
TIA for any tips or advice.

Apologies for the long-ass post and any formatting issues as I’m on mobile.
Backstory: I graduated college 2019 and got a graphic design position at a small publishing company shortly after. All around, no complaints. They weathered covid well and ended up going full-remote in March of 2020 so I was working from home the majority of my career thus far. Early 2021 was promoted to Senior Designer. Mid 2023 I started getting antsy. Wanted more money, more career growth, etc. It’s a small company that operates on cash so they’re not the most competitive with salary but I was always happy with the people I worked with and bragged about company culture/politics and how they handled themselves during covid and with political shit all throughout. Fast forward to earlier this year, after applying to places here and there and never hearing back, I finally got an interview which turned into an offer. Before accepting I told the company I was at how much I appreciated them and loved working there and asked if they could be competitive. They offered an Assistant Art Director position to me that would be ready in a few months but the new place heard the offer and upped the salary to where my old place couldn’t compete (only a 2k difference but still).
Fast forward: I’m at my new gig and it’s….fine. I’m in office 9-5 with two other ladies (they are not designers). I’m working in the restaurant industry now trying to get some bars open and doing everything from logos to neon signs to window vinyls, etc. It’s all over the board and definitely exercises parts of my brain that went somewhat dormant while working in editorial for almost five years but I’ve had issues with the business itself. One of the ladies I work with is apart of the family that owns the company so she’s a partial owner and always has the news on, constantly talks about politics, trump, anti-trans, etc. It’s hard to bite my tongue but there’s no real HR to go to and if I did I know she’d just have a vendetta against me. On top of that she has snapped at me and talked to me in ways I’ve never been talked to in a professional environment and it was all because she misunderstood what I said. She apologized after but I couldn’t help but feel she had it locked and loaded and jumped at the slightest hint towards a reason to go off. Outside of dealing with people I don’t jive with, I hate the way they conduct business. The timelines feel made up and nothing is planned out, everything is “needed like yesterday” and so when we go to print stuff we push our printers and make them rearrange their workflow and their planned out schedule to get our stuff in and printed fast and it’s not uncommon that once it’s done it’ll just sit there for weeks, maybe even months before we use it. I’ve already had a printer come to me and tell me he’s no longer doing rush orders for us and the way we treat him is disrespectful and all I could say is “fair”.
Now onto where I need advice: when leaving my old place they told me to reach back out if in a few months i’m not happy and still interested in the asst. art director position. It’d be a 2k pay cut but my work/life balance would improve and I’d be around people I like and working with a like-minded company who respects our vendors and people we rely on. When talking to my dad he chalked up my complaints to “that’s just work”. I don’t want to jump ship if it’s because I have unrealistic expectations but I’m still early in my career and everything feels scary. I’m sure I could muscle through here for a year or two and find something else but the idea of going back is getting more and more enticing.
As design professionals what do y’all think of this situation? is it worth it to stick it out and beef up my portfolio with big names? (all the restaurants I work on are celebrity-affiliated) or would it be more beneficial to have the assistant art director on my resume and really just hone in on editorial design?

So, we've been friends for quite some time, but our friendship only grew stronger after I was with her through a tough season in high-school.
The first incident was when I told her about a boy I had a crush on and she started seeing that boy- gosh they even kissed. I think I was a little dramatic about it, but we ended up making up after we both talked it out. Still, it was a little difficult for me to tell her about boys, but I still did spill partial tea. We grew a little distant then but we made up and things got better, just never the same.
This is the second incident. After graduating high-school I told her how much I wanted to study abroad and all and she helped me out. She got into a really good school and I was so happy for her, whereas I, got rejected from all the schools I applied to abroad but got accepted to some in my country. I went a little crazy from the rejection and kind of lost my mind, which landed me in therapy. (Yeah it was my dream😅). We stopped FaceTiming as much. Ever since then she always gets mad at me for not telling her stuff, but when I do tell her stuff about what's going on in my life, she outright ignores me. (Yeah she skips those messages and starts a new conversation) I initially thought I made her uncomfortable, so I reduced, and our friendship kind of fell through.
She still ignores me when I talk about anything personal to me, like how today I was trying to tell her how happy I was that my parents finally agreed to let me get braces. (I'm very insecure when it comes to my teeth) and she just ignored my text. We don't even talk about deep stuff anymore, she stopped telling me things. I tried to talk to her about this, I even told her that I was all better and stopped my therapy sessions (I lied), just to get her to talk to me because I thought my condition was pushing her away. I don't know what to do now, and we keep drifting apart. Was it wrong for me tell her about those deep deep stuffs? Should I have kept somethings to my self even if she got mad?

How Pehchaan the Street School emerged thus became a light that keeps emphasizing the hope and capacitation of underprivileged children for almost a decade. The institution fulfills its function of supplying good education and love through its unyielding commitment, and so it has changed many lives. The latest victory of Deepak presents the world with the indomitable spirit and unshakeable resolve portrayed by the group of talented students and the hard-working management of Pehchaan The Street School.
Deepak embarked on his journey four years ago with a bold challenge to the founder: the satisfaction of having a laptop as long as he scored 75% or more in the 12th standard. With Pehchaan The Street School’s encouragement, Deepak did what was thought impossible and scored 83%, which is unbelievable. His mastery does not only mean victory over himself but also represents the collective victory of any Pehchaan The Street School student.
For Deepak, the first one from his family to get through the 12th grade boards is recognition of the success of Pehchaan's efforts. Through remarkable high scores in the fields of economics and leadership, he has always succeeded in making his family and the entire Pehchaan The Street School community proud. After all, this accomplishment has been the direct outcome of the team's everlasting supporter and mentor roles in the process that made Deepak what he is now.
The profile of the school, Pehchaan The Street School has worked to give underprivileged children a voice. The organization has been performing roles such as providing access to quality education and fostering a supportive environment, and it has made an impact on the lives of affected students. Deepak's victory, although just one feat among many, is symbolic of many triumphs attained throughout the Pehchaan The Street School team's, students, and supporters combined effort.
Pehchaan The Street School platform includes a website, YouTube channel, and Instagram account as well, where the school community promotes their inspiring and successful stories about various initiatives and graduates’ achievements. Through these platforms, the organization is giving its audience the opportunity to see the whole process, from its students accomplishments to the overall struggles that take the team forward.
While there is such narration, Krish’s journey into Pehchaan The Street School, started seven years ago when he was in school and later dropped out. Krish takes advantage of his connection with the organization and blooms as an artist, and he is also studying through open education or correspondence education now. Through the life story of a boy who eventually won specialized education and support, the protagonist of the play showcases the power of the school in its ability to identify untapped talents.
Just like Raj, a 6th grader, students and teachers are interconnected in such a way that beautifully defines the term “Pehchaan”.The fact that he distances himself from his unsupportive family in favor of learning reveals that there is a really nurturing environment at the organization.
Likewise, Ayush, a fourth-grade student, shows how much pupils love and respect their teacher in class. The students feel confident and secure when they interact with those that they trust. The organization enacted his motivation to study to become a doctor since it set up a sustainable environment for his growth.
This echoes the endeavor of Pehchaan The Street School, which is unique in that it wants all of its students to chase their dreams and to be able to realize them. Moreover, the bright future of Pehchaan The Street School, as imagined by Himanshi and Deepanshi, two of its students, is a mirror of what the organization is all about.
Through Rajvir's transformation as a learner who had difficulty with basic school concepts emerging as a student from Delhi's popular school, the organization not only proved its capacity to recognize and nurture talents but also substantiated its strengths as a knowledge provider and capacity builder.
The emotional exclamation of the founder, "GUYS, we did it!!!!" beautifully entangles the story and the whole Pehchaan The Street School community. Profoundly, Deepak's achievement is not only about him; it's a celebration of what the collective efforts of everyone involved in the process have achieved. These feelings of pride and the overall sense of completion leave no doubt about the purpose behind the non-profit's drive to help underprivileged children.
Walking alongside Pehchaan The Street School in this journey of emancipation, the tales of Deepak, Krish, Raj, Kush, Himanshi, Deepanshi, and Rana exemplify the force of education and emancipation. In addition, these stories show an organization’s profound capacity to create an environment where young talents can grow and less privileged students can achieve their full potential.
Ending up in the epitome of the power of group cooperation and the effect of education, the path of Pehchaan The Street School corroborates. Along with the project stories of its past alumni, the organization encourages the audience to keep in mind the organization’s dedication to making changes in the lives of unprivileged children. Pehchaan The Street Schools’ legacy of enabling will continue to grow on the shoulders of these children, and eventually, we can help to create a better tomorrow for everyone. "Knowledge is the true organ of sight, not the eyes." Swami Vivekananda.
To learn more about our goal and how we have changed lives, please visit: Website: https://pehchaanstreetschool.org Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXd4gnTazJh3JugKENt5yog Instagram: @pehchaanstreetschool For any queries, you can also contact: +91 9711718972
Come with us, and together, let us help these children reach all their potential. Your assistance can be a life changer!

EmpoweringYoungLives

EducationForAll

StreetSchoolsMatter

EmpowermentThroughEducation

SupportingUnderprivilegedChildren

2 kids 5,7
Tl:dr moved back Boston area 9 months ago after leaving for 2 years and already regret it, kids seem to love it. Is it wrong to move again in 2 years ( once debt free)? Our only family is in mass/Rhode Island
We are afraid of having our kids build bonds over the next 2 years with friends and family then taking it all away, again. Also her mother would be heartbroken.
We grew up in this area/Rhode Island. End of COVID we moved to Nashville and loved it. After 2 years we decided to move back because the inlaws retired and wanted a relationship with the grandkids, and they offered us free rent to get debt free. They own a duplex (live on first) and second floor was moving out.
Being back just reminded me how much I hated growing up here and the crazy cost of living. Everything is super expensive and Boston in such a hassle to access between traffic, and parking. It is also 45 min away give or take so not the closest.
Pros: Our kids love their school and new friends. My wife’s cousins went to the same elementary school and their 5 grade graduation class picture is on the wall. It was cute too see and kind of cool.
We see both sides of our family about once a month. It’s been nice for get togethers.
I see my brother an additional once a month, and we started playing racquetball on Sundays which I haven’t done since college so that’s awesome.
Grandparents live down stairs and have a huge yard so it gives us a break on weekends when the kids can just play outside or if we have to run they can watch them quickly.
My wife has mentioned she will be taking care of her parents in old age. So we may have to come back, her parents are 68 and 66 and currently pretty active
Although we don’t pay rent right now, we will start to in about a year since we can afford it and plan to pay whether we move or not so they don’t have to worry about finding tenants. Rent is only 900 when we do start to pay. market almost 2k.
We also put about 10k into renovating the upstairs apartment and now is a place we can live in for the next 5-6 years. Space wise. (1/3) of the house is being left to my wife plus almost 2 years total of rent free so we weren’t worried about putting money into it.
Cons: Cost of living, I can’t see myself ever buying a house here or in Rhode Island, they are old and expensive.
We travel 3-5 times a year and Logan is such a hassle, providence is great but typically a lot more expensive. Also flights seem more expensive than when we were in Nashville but that could just be the economy.
Weather sucks here feels grey and gloomy
People are so selfish here and mean, traffic everywhere it feels like.
Kids activities here just seem so unorganized and thrown together. I know they are kids it’s just for fun but I would want them to learn the right way. Soccer been a hot mess, flag football coaches were good but definitely busy and would squeeze a 10 min practice before games. Gymnastics have been awful here, we feel like they are treating our kids like a number not a person. We are moving our kids to their third gym after the summer. My son’s marital arts class has been amazing though.
YMCA here all seem old, outdated, and dirty. We’ve been to 3 in the area, they are in older buildings so maybe that’s why.
Income tax, I know it depends by state but still a con
I also work remote, and didn’t think it would be a con not having an office to go to if I wanted too. Sometimes I just need to get out the house and realize how nice it was to have the office 25 min away if necessary. Now I’ll go to the library if I need to but not the same.

Hello! i just got my acceptance letter from NTU English and I'm really excited about it! I had my interview yesterday with one of the professors! Rather than a strict interview, I genuinely just felt it was a chit chat session of enlightening and informative nature <3
I took combined literature in secondary school but didn't take Lit in JC. I did do pretty well in GP out of all my subjects and I love reading books so I thought English would be a good major for me. But of course, after not annotating books and poems for 2 whole years, I do have some concerns and questions(that i didn't manage to ask my interviewer)🫨

1. For those that didn't take H1/H2 Literature or has no literature background, did the introductory courses help to bridge the skills and knowledge of analysing lit?
   
2. Do you usually purchase your literature texts or is a pdf given to you? If you do purchase your literature books, around how much is it?
   
3. For the prescribed electives, on average, how many books are there per elective? or does it vary based on AUs (3 vs 4)? i'm quite interested in South Asian Lit and Modernism!
   
4. By having a Bachelor of Arts in English degree, what are the various industries have you guys interned / worked in?
   
5. Hows the exam structure like? Must you guys submit an essay by the end of the course or is it a group project?
   
6. How many courses/elective do you guys take per semester?
   

That's all the questions I have for now, thank you for taking your time to read (hopefully I didn't sound offensive or too blunt😅) I'm really excited abt joining NTU and I hope I get to learn a lot from ELH🫶🩶

Hi everyone!
My name is Sacha and I am from France. I just got refused by McGill. In fact, it was my dream university. It was the opportunity to live the life I always dreamed of for a reduced price (tuition for French is 7000$). I literally think about McGill every day since last year. My grades were above average and I still don't understand why they rejected me. My parents also talk a lot about it (they were supposed to move to Montreal 10 years ago but couldn't because of family problems). I was accepted in April in Uoft but the tuition is 35k. Going there might prevent my 14-year-old brother and 17-year-old sister from attending an international university, and I don't want them to limit themselves because of me. In addition to having a hard time making a choice about my future, I can't stop thinking about this rejection. Therefore, I would like to know if there is a way to appeal or to be accepted. And if not, how did you manage to move on? I can study in France next year for cheap but the schools are much less reputable and I won't have the “international” experience. What's your opinion on this?

Im unloveable….. no one understands what I’m going through…..
All of this self improvement by going to therapy is garbage because they only told me to go to some event but all of them are bars and clubs and I dislike both of them….
I’m stupid, useless, ugly and waste of space because no matter how much I put myself out there in 5 years ago and working to improve my confidence by going to school and volunteering at the animal shelter…. I’m very inexperienced with animals….. and me working on myself was just a waste of time….. and no one never show interest towards me and that break me and I gave up ever since…..
Can life really get any better because I’m tired of dealing with hardship…..
I’ve been dealing with fake friends and bullying since childhood because I’m a fucking cowards and pathetic….. I was always a loser since middle school and that what I meant to be…..
I’ll never have friends and a girlfriend……
I’ll never graduate college and get a career…..

So, we've been friends for quite some time, but our friendship only grew stronger after I was with her through a tough season in high-school.
The first incident was when I told her about a boy I had a crush on and she started seeing that boy- gosh they even kissed. I think I was a little dramatic about it, but we ended up making up after we both talked it out. Still, it was a little difficult for me to tell her about boys, but I still did spill partial tea. We grew a little distant then but we made up and things got better, just never the same.
This is the second incident. After graduating high-school I told her how much I wanted to study abroad and all and she helped me out. She got into a really good school and I was so happy for her, whereas I, got rejected from all the schools I applied to abroad but got accepted to some in my country. I went a little crazy from the rejection and kind of lost my mind, which landed me in therapy. (Yeah it was my dream😅). We stopped FaceTiming as much. Ever since then she always gets mad at me for not telling her stuff, but when I do tell her stuff about what's going on in my life, she outright ignores me. (Yeah she skips those messages and starts a new conversation) I initially thought I made her uncomfortable, so I reduced, and our friendship kind of fell through.
She still ignores me when I talk about anything personal to me, like how today I was trying to tell her how happy I was that my parents finally agreed to let me get braces. (I'm very insecure when it comes to my teeth) and she just ignored my text. We don't even talk about deep stuff anymore, she stopped telling me things. I tried to talk to her about this, I even told her that I was all better and stopped my therapy sessions (I lied), just to get her to talk to me because I thought my condition was pushing her away. I don't know what to do now, and we keep drifting apart. Was it wrong for me tell her about those deep deep stuffs? Should I have kept somethings to my self even if she got mad?

when i was in middle school during my last year i planned two things 1. i took a kitchen knfie to school and planned stab another kid that i did not like but ended up not doing it but it was close i stood next to him in the hall one day with the knife hidden in on of the arms in my hoodie but i chould not bring myself to do it and just skipped the rest of the day instead
2 i planned to jump of the highest point of the school to kms during the last day of school before graduation when the first thing did not work out but i did not do it

1. i sometimes think about hanging myself in the woods or just drowning myself in the canal but i have tried to drown myself but it did not work i had tied weights to my legs and all and just ended up sitting by the water instead for about 2 hours
   
2. i wanna be manhandled and be used as a sex doll by a bunch of diffrent guys at the same time and also bet put on drugs and kept in someones sex dungeon all consensual ofc
   
3. i am not on meds anymore and for some reaosn i feel a lot better the only thing i really use is nicotine gum
   
4. and finally i sometimes fantasize about skinning the flesh of my hands why i don't know and an other thing maybe just use a knife to carve things all over my body
   

Im currently last year in high school and got accepted to lau in computer science major, and my plan for many years now has been to learn programming, get a degree then leave the country as soon as possible.
And it has been going well so far, yet im thinking of switching majors to mechatronics engineering or computer engineering since i enjoy hardware work more, but i dont know if any of these degrees will allow me to still work in programming field.(currently my plan is web development, i have been self learning for a year and its been good)
So has anyone here graduated in one of these degrees and can help me? Im afraid i might lose scholarships by switching majors (either from switching or from not being able to keep 3.5 gpa, harder in engineering than science). If i lose my 50% scholarship i will be forced to switch uni, as the tuition is too much for my family. Im also afraid i might lose job opportunities in web dev or general programming, which might lose me future prospects to leave the country. Though, if i could get hardware experience, still learn programming alone on the side, use that to leave the country, and work in mechatronics it would be perfect.
Can i still find a job in web dev with mechatronics degree? And will this allow me to get dream job in mechatronics after a bit of work?
Any insight is appreciated

It's a long story. Please bear with me, my mind is really chaotic right now. I am in college and have a circle of female friends since the first semester. All of us went to the same major. This year will be our 4th year being a group of friends together. I cherished them a lot, they helped me a lot and one of the reasons I survived college so far.
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)

The walls of Guy’s Cancer Hospital
Haven’t they witnessed enough Haven’t they heard enough Haven’t they wept enough The walls of Guy’s hospital stand alone. Unsupported
An elderly couple walk-in the chemotherapy ward supported by a wooden walking stick. Their youth failed them and decided to leave them behind They stare at the double doors hoping to see a rushed nurse to come out and call their name. One is more fragile and weak, wearing a woolly hat to cover the thin hair that started to depart his head because of the cruelty of the chemotherapy They sit so close to each other holding hands - delicate,debilitated and powerless hands
Another woman walks in, alone English isn’t her first language thus struggles with the receptionist Not sure where to sit she notices an empty chair in the corner Hunched down, she looks for a familiar face to reassure her that she is in the right place She noticed a nurse and hesitantly shows her a letter The nurse nods and confirms “ yes you are in the right place” A short sigh is heard- at the back of her head she must be thinking “ what if the treatment doesn’t work ? What if it keeps spreading? Who is going to look after my kids? Who will kiss them goodnight? Who will iron their school uniform and prepare their packed lunch? Oh God if it doesn’t work, who will they share their playground stories? Who will they ask for pocket money? Oh God help me for their sake, let the treatment work !
The walls of Guy’s hospital maybe coated with colourful paint Green, orange and blue walls to brighten up the atmosphere But if you scratch the paint, trapped tears will be seen Hidden behind the vibrant and radiant walls
Voices of agony, pain, despair and grief is all that is trapped behind these solitary walls Oh for decades and decades these walls kept it all in No one to hear them No one to share their burden Who can support the walls of Guy’s hospital?

Hey, I'm 17 and just graduating my junior year in high school. I have depression, and I spent Christmas of last year in a mental hospital.
Physics has been my passion since 8th grade... I spent most of my time studying it, and I was planning on going to college to get a PhD.
Around a week ago, I completely lost my passion for physics. I don't even remotely like it anymore, physics super boring. I have many small interests for careers, but nothing I want to dedicate my life to. What should I do?

A good friend of mine from a fairly conservative evangelical background is considering becoming a pastor at his non-denominational church. As part of the evaluation process, they asked him to write a paper on these topics that he is not an expert on.
He asked for my opinion and I offered to share it online to solicit constructive criticism, notes of encouragement, and or reading recommendations on these topics.
I believe his goal is to be faithful to the scriptures, loving to those outside the church, and challenging to those inside the church, as most of us could do better.
What he wrote is in the quotation marks below.
“1: Scope of the Issue
Sexual immorality has become a besetting and ubiquitous issue in our culture and in our churches. While many aspects of it are not novel or unique to this time and have clear scriptural input, there are others that bring challenges to our church for which we don’t have obvious precedent. The main point of these comments is to try and answer three questions with some degree of specificity: (1) how do we make ourselves a place where people who do not know Christ will feel welcome to come and learn of Him regardless of where they come from, (2) how do we pastorally care for people who have come in to the church with pre-existing circumstances related to sexual immorality, and (3) how do we equip our members to represent Christ to those in their lives that are dealing with these issues. We want to do this in a way that does not “walk a tight rope” or compromise to appease, but honors Scripture in its commands to both show compassion and exhort and correct. We must recognize that every individual circumstance is unique, and many will require careful and prayerful consideration, but this is meant to give a framework for that consideration.
2: Scriptural Basis for Corporate Response
There are many references we can point to that discuss and define sexual immorality throughout Scripture and many of these will be used below as we consider specific examples and situations. Let us start, however, by looking at passages that deal with corporate response rather than individual sin. It is clear that the Corinthian church had significant issues in this area, and much of Paul’s first letter was devoted to it. In chapter 5, Paul states that when sexual immorality is discovered in the church we should “mourn” over it and “not to associate with immoral people.” Importantly, he also makes clear in vv. 9-13 that these comments only apply to those “who bears the name of brother.” He explicitly writes, “not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world…for what have I to do with judging outsiders?” This is key in informing our response to those who are not members of the church. If it is our desire to see sinners come through our doors and come to know our Savior through our ministry, then we must be welcoming, accepting them where they are. This is not to say we hide or compromise the biblical position, but it is not an issue on which we want to filter people at the door. There are three categories of people in sexual sin that we need to form a response for. First, those just coming to the church who have not committed to it – these should be treated the same as any we are reaching out to with Christ’s love. They need Jesus, not behavioral change. Next, those who have recently joined the church but have pre-existing sexual sin patterns. This can and should be addressed with patience, dignity, and love. There are often many sin areas in the life of a new believer, and it is prudent to discern how and when to address each of them. Lastly, those who have been members in the church for some amount of time and fall into sexual sin. This is the group that Paul is primarily addressing in 1 Corinthians. While sex within marriage is a private issue, sexual sin cannot be a taboo topic. It needs to be addressed regularly and clearly. We need close enough relationships within the church that such problems do not fester in the dark. We must avoid the typical church pattern to vilify the first group, never see the second group, and pretend the third group doesn’t exist until it all blows up in scandal. May it never be.
3: Consistency Issue
There is a tendency in our Christian culture to treat some sexual sins as worse than others. Like the Corinthians, some things we seem to have accepted as just ubiquitous parts of our culture. Knowing the prevalence of promiscuity and fornication among teens and single adults and usage of pornography even within the church, we tend to address these as issues of indwelling sin, similar to anger or fear of man, with offers of accountability and understanding when someone falls. By contrast, when it comes to homosexuality or adultery, it is often a church discipline issue. We view homosexual marriage as a major problem, but remarriage after a non-biblical divorce is rarely addressed. These inconsistencies lead to stigmatization and polarization and should have no place in the church. The criterion for escalation should be unrepentance, not the nature of the sexual sin. It is clear from 1 Corinthians that all should be taken seriously, but none should be vilified above others.
4: Culture and Identity
The major underlying problem with many of the sexual sin and gender issues is that they have come to be culturally bound up with people’s identities. This is not a new phenomenon and is not unique to this issue. As far back as Acts 19, you see people becoming “enraged” because Paul had threatened the Ephesians’ cultural identity as worshipers of Artemis. People continue to find their primary identities in their employment, hobbies, sports teams, or families rather than Christ. None of these should be accepted, but none should be reviled either. If a person does not know Jesus, they are dead. How they identify themselves is of no concern. Once they have been made alive, they can be taught that “whose” they are is more important than “who” they are. All identity outside of Christ is not sinful, but if it takes paramount importance, it may become so. A person who recognizes a tendency toward same sex attraction may label themselves as gay or lesbian. This should not be considered a sin issue unless it becomes, for them, their defining characteristic or leads to sinful actions. We should recognize the difficulty of this struggle and support such a person rather than get hung up on labels. There must be clear distinction between identifying same sex attraction and engaging in homosexual behavior. These should be the guiding principles underlying everything that follows are regards individual cases.
5: Public Facing Information, Guests, and New Attendees
Considering what we have discussed, and Paul’s assertion in 1 Corinthians 5 that we ought to reserve judgment on sexual immorality to those we call brother, I would submit that public facing information regarding the church (i.e. website, app, etc) should not publish a position on sexual immorality, marriage, and gender identity. Doing so effectively places the filter at the door so that people who do not know Christ may be turned away from it. This is not tantamount to tacit approval. In appropriate contexts within the church, these topics should still be discussed and addressed, but I do not believe it is consistent with a biblical treatment of unbelievers to place it in a public facing forum. If we have guests or new regular attendees who appear to be engaged in a cohabitating or fornicating relationship, a homosexual relationship, or other sexual sin, this should not be a priority to address unless we have discerned that they are believers and join the church. Even then, it is important to draw a distinction between someone who deals with same-sex attraction and someone who engages in homosexual behavior. The next seven points are meant to discuss, in broad terms, how we should address those who join the church with pre-existing relationships or identity issues:
6: Promiscuity, Cohabitation – Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor 7:1-2, Ex 22:16
Much of the biblical discussion on promiscuity is by inference. Clearly, sex was meant to be inseparably linked to marriage and outside of that context should be considered immoral. For those who join the church already in a sexual relationship who are unmarried we should apply Exodus 22:16 and encourage them to marry as soon as possible. If they do not wish to marry, they should be encouraged to separate. Paul acknowledges in 1 Cor 7:2 that marriage is the best remedy for “temptation to sexual immorality.”
7: Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage – Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:10-11
This issue is given much more explicit biblical instruction but is often glossed over in our Christian culture due to the messy landscape of divorces and remarriages. In cases where non-biblical divorce has occurred, if reconciliation is possible, this should be pursued. If reconciliation is impossible because one or more parties have remarried, it would not be sensible to divorce again in order to achieve reconciliation. The principle to apply here, I believe, is from 1 Cor 7:17-24 summarized in verse 20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” This is not an ideal circumstance, but it is the best way forward in an imperfect world. Of note, polygamy was common in the culture of the early church, and while not ideal, was accepted by the church, as evidenced by the qualifications for elder to be “a husband of but one wife.” We have polygamous cultures even within our local community and if they came to Christ, we should not counsel them to divorce all but one wife and thus disrupt their social structure. It is not ideal and would disqualify them from eldership, but they should remain as they are. Whether marriage after unbiblical divorce in the past disqualifies a man from eldership is a case-by case question for the eldership.
8: Pornography, Sensuality, and Lust – Lev 18:6-18, Matt 5:28
As mentioned above, use of pornography has reached a high saturation point within our culture and within our church. While once thought of as simply a male issue, there is a growing trend toward gender parity in pornography usage. It is an issue that should be discussed with some frequency within our church. For those that join the church and view pornography regularly, it needs to be made clear that while the world has largely destigmatized it, it is still sexual immorality. Furthermore, this isn’t just limited to nudity and pornography, but any sensuality that leads to looking at someone “with lustful intent” is the heart equivalent of adultery according to Matt 5:28. In our culture, it is not possible to avoid such things by just turning away. We need to address the heart issues of idolatry, selfishness, and satisfaction in Christ. Practically, how should we deal with those who have on-going struggles with pornography, sensuality and lust? Should this preclude them from eldership? From deaconship? Taken strictly, this would preclude nearly all men from eldership. These require individual evaluation from the elders, but a guiding principle should be, if the person is repentant and there is evidence of growth in their life, we should consider more responsibility and continued discipleship.
9: Homosexuality – Lev 18:22, Lev 20:13, 1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 1:8-11
From the above references and others, it is evident that homosexual behavior is sexual sin. We cannot equivocate on that point. As we have discussed above, if a person who is already a believer and in the church and struggles with same sex attraction, we should approach them as we would handle anyone who is sexually attracted to someone to whom they are not married. If such a person decides that homosexuality is not sinful and begins sexually immoral activity, we should deal with them in the same way as any member who falls into unrepentant sin and go through the processes of correction and, if necessary, of church discipline. It is important that we draw a distinction between same sex attraction and homosexual behavior. We can do tremendous harm by demonizing same sex attraction and creating a taboo around it. A person who is struggling to abstain from homosexual behavior should be supported and encouraged. I believe Paul’s strong statements about not associating with sexually immoral people applies to those who remain unrepentant. Much more nuanced is the issue of how we address those that join the church already in a homosexual relationship. What about the married homosexual couple who join the church with their adopted child? Should we break up their family? I believe, in this case, the same principle should apply as to those who have gone through an unbiblical divorce in the past. We should apply 1 Cor 7:20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” We can recognize that this is not ideal, but it is the best we can do in a fallen world just as we do with someone who is married after unbiblical divorce. Whether should apply to a homosexual couple in a long term committed relationship who are not legally married would be an individual discussion with the elders. Again, these are nuanced cases that will need individual prayer, discussion, and discernment. I believe a great deal more patience is called for when a new believer joins the church that has a history or present reality of homosexuality, even if they are unrepentant at first, believing that homosexuality is not sinful, than we would demonstrate to a person who has been in the church for a period of time and then decides to pursue a homosexual relationship.
10: Bisexuality – Heb 13:4
Bisexual attraction is no more or less of an issue than anyone who finds that they are sexually attracted to someone other than their spouse. This is not a rare or unique circumstance, even within the church. Someone who is practicing bisexuality is, by definition, not confining sex to the marriage bed, and this, therefore, qualifies as sexual immorality. The issue, here again, is one of identity and cultural acceptance. If a person “identifies as bisexual,” the real issue is not the bisexuality, but the fact that they identify themselves primarily by their sexual desires, and not by Christ. It would be equally a problem if they “identified as heterosexual” and that was seen as their defining characteristic. If such a person were to join the church, our priority should be in helping them see their identity in Christ rather than focusing on renouncing their sexual preference.
11: Transgenderism/Non-binarism – Psalm 139: 13-15
It should be noted that the next two points should not be considered in the category of sexual immorality, but as they are connected to the same cultural moment will be discussed here. It should further be remarked that transgenderism is a modern issue with no direct reference in Scripture. It is a challenging issue that often falls prey to oversimplification and scapegoating. It is not sufficient to simply state that a person should identify with their born gender. There are those born with ambiguous genitalia and those born with sex chromosome abnormalities such that “born gender” is not necessarily accurate. These occur with a frequency of 1 in 448 births on average which is not particularly rare. The majority of people who consider themselves to be transgender do not fall into these categories, but the fact remains that these categories exist. Unless we plan to embark on genetic testing, we must be careful how we assert someone’s gender assignment. Furthermore, we must acknowledge that much of the gender confusion in our culture is due to a distortion of biblically accurate masculinity and femininity in our culture of which the church has been widely supportive for generations. Many transgender and non-binary individuals consider themselves so because they do not fit into the traditional boxes our culture has created for the genders. The church can start by recognizing that these boxes are incorrect. We can also acknowledge that gender differences and roles are far less important than most human cultures perceive. Christ himself challenged many gender norms in his ministry and Paul maintains “…there is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28b) It is much more difficult to recognize this issue as a sin issue than many of the above concerns. If someone wishes to be addressed by different pronouns than they once did or dress differently than they once did, this does not amount to immorality. Once again, this can be an idolatrous identity issue if the person sees it as the central characteristic of their lives. There is often an inherent pride in asserting that such a person does not feel they fit in the body created for them, but if they come to love Jesus and understand and believe that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” then this issue may become moot. Whether or not they revert to dressing differently or using pronouns they did when they were younger is largely immaterial. This also addresses the issue of people who may have undergone permanent physical changes. While we should not endorse such modification if it is being considered, there is no reason to reverse such a thing in order to return to a base state. We must recognize that this is a group that has a high propensity toward mental health concerns, instability, and suicidality. They need love, support and prayer, not scapegoating and extra-biblical expectations of conforming to a cultural norm. We must further note that this group as well as the homosexual group have often experienced psychological and even physical harm from others in our culture, sometimes in the name of Christ. We must foster an environment of champions physical and psychological safety for these people.
12: Asexuality – 1 Cor 7:25-38
Asexuality also should not be considered sexual immorality. There is, in fact, wide support in Paul’s letters such as in 1 Cor 7 for people, if they are able, to remain unmarried and be “anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.” We tend to champion the model of the nuclear family in our Christian culture, but Paul sees chaste singleness as a better way. There should be no pressure from the church to make sure that single people pair off and get married because it is expected of them. As this state has been culturally identified with the LGBTQIA movement, it is seen on the same spectrum as the sexual immorality and gender issues discussed above, but it is not. It can still fall prey to the same issue of an idolatrous identity as some of the above issues, but it need not be so.
13: Glass Ceiling
In the event that God sees fit to bring people from these subgroups into our church, there would inevitably be a glass ceiling. The question is at what point. The four logical points are: regular attender, member, deacon, and elder. Regardless of their background or position, all should be welcome to be a regular attender. It is also clear, from the biblical requirements for eldership, that on-going problems or engagement in any of the sexual sins would disqualify them from that post. The middle two are less clear. I would submit that the bar for membership should be very low. This step, in my opinion, is when they would “bear the name of brother” and not before. Even if they disagree about the sinful nature of homosexuality, this should not disallow them from becoming members as long as they agree to submit to the churches position and not cause division. Allowing them to become members gives us the pastoral authority to speak into their lives, and we would hope that over time the Spirit would work in their hearts to convince them of the truth. Putting such a person in a deacon role would probably not be wise but would need to be evaluated prayerfully on a case-by-case basis. The difficulty here is that, while a position on homosexuality is not a salvific issue and should not be considered a core doctrine in the same way as the deity of Christ, for example, it is a sin issue. There is a limit to how far we can “agree to disagree” and still uphold our duty to root out sin in our midst. Once again, we should also distinguish between a struggle with same sex attraction and engagement in homosexual behavior when we consider our response. There is also a glass ceiling when it comes to marriage. While I believe we should not break up existing homosexual marriages, we should not participate in creating them. The marriage covenant between a man and woman was created, in part, to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5). This should not be co-opted to excuse or normalize immorality.
14: Nuance and Edge Cases
The above outline is by no means meant to be exhaustive or definitive. It is meant to provide a lens, supported by scripture, through which we can view these issues and consider corporate and pastoral responses. It should inform how we view the people that walk through the door from a wide range of backgrounds and how we equip those in our church to be Christ’s ambassadors to those in our community. Every person and circumstance, history and baggage will be different, and any non-nuanced position would be inherently evil. I pray we have many opportunities to talk, think and pray through specific situations that God would bless us with the chance to be a part of. What an honor it would be to be used to reach into broken lives like these with the Gospel of Grace.
15: Action Steps
As we consider practical and philosophical ways of responding to the above, I believe we should start from a position of corporate repentance. If we wish to truly reach out and touch the lives of broken people in need of a Savior who live a life of same sex attraction or gender dysphoria, we need to begin by recognizing that a great deal of harm, emotional and physical, has been inflicted on this group by the Church for generations. There are homeless people living in our area who were kicked out of their homes by parents holding a Bible. There are those who have been subjected to horrific methods that amount to torture under the guise of “Conversion Therapy” from Christian organizations. The only “conversion” we should concern ourselves with is to a regenerate heart. Attempting to change someone’s sexual attraction is very much beside the point. We cannot hope to be a place where such people can hear about Jesus unless they feel safe to enter our doors. We must also fight the tendency to consider sin in this area as something worse than others, even in non-Christians. James 2 says “…For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it….So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” As we consider corporate and pastoral responses to the argument above, we must start by removing our own planks and repenting for the historical actions of the Church.
Practical steps that we could consider taking would include: removing the statements from the website about marriage and sexuality, especially directly under our Core Beliefs. Again, this is not meant to hide or equivocate on the truth, but not to set such a barrier before someone even walks through our door. Secondly, we should consider how to address these topics within the church. A Sunday morning sermon is not ideal as it is time limited and a unidirectional conversation. A small group course format would be a consideration. We need to equip parents and family members of adolescents, teens, and adults with language to talk about these things in loving, humble, God-honoring ways. In the longer term, we need to consider how we can make our church a place where people would feel comfortable inviting friends and family who look, think and act differently than we do. We need to find a way of projecting safety and inclusion even in our public facing information. This isn’t a balancing act where we must make it clear early and often that we “love the sinner but hate the sin” as the saying goes. We just need to love the sinner. Dealing with the sin can come later God-willing. A third application point is to be mindful of what we say and what we allow to be said without being checked. Certainly, joking at the expense of those who are dealing with these issues is unacceptable, but we also need to work to avoid getting dragged in to pseudo-political discussions on bathroom issues, sports issues or other divisive concerns that have no bearing on the church.
I recognize that these proposals have the potential to divide the church. There are some who may leave the body over these sorts of changes. I would argue that it is our responsibility to them as well as to the unreached in our community to have those discussions and risk some of them leaving over it. These are not all things we should change overnight but after ample opportunities for discussions and prayer.
16: Conclusion – Mark 2:15-17
At its core, these are not issues of who someone loves, sexual attraction, or even specific sex acts. The core is idolatry and identity. When acceptance by others, self-determination, or physical pleasure become the central force driving our lives then we have become idolators. Though our idols take on different shapes, the struggles in this space are shared by all. Whether you are identified by your profession, your family, or your gender identity, you are not being identified by your Master. Building fences around or within the church because someone sins in a different way than us cannot be allowed. Making the excuse that we are somehow “protecting our children” by shielding them from people in our community who desperately need a Savior will not show our children who Jesus is. Within the church, we cannot be afraid to “speak the truth in love.” We need not and cannot shy away from sin in the church, but we must recognize that the Spirit works in each of our lives. Often this happens over a period of time. We should be prepared to walk alongside our brothers and sisters in this journey for as long as they need.
There is a significant correlation between this community and their relationship with religious groups, and the “tax collectors and sinners” that Jesus sought out in His ministry and their relationship with the religious leaders of the day. Our heart should reflect His. Jesus responded: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17) If our church was filled with transgender people and gay families that loved Jesus, God would be glorified.”
Thank you in advance for any constructive criticism, notes of encouragement to and or waiting recommendations on these topics that I can pass along.

Im unloveable….. no one understands what I’m going through…..
All of this self improvement by going to therapy is garbage because they only told me to go to some event but all of them are bars and clubs and I dislike both of them….
I’m stupid, useless, ugly and waste of space because no matter how much I put myself out there in 5 years ago and working to improve my confidence by going to school and volunteering at the animal shelter…. I’m very inexperienced with animals….. and me working on myself was just a waste of time….. and no one never show interest towards me and that break me and I gave up ever since…..
Can life really get any better because I’m tired of dealing with hardship…..
I’ve been dealing with fake friends and bullying since childhood because I’m a fucking cowards and pathetic….. I was always a loser since middle school and that what I meant to be…..
I’ll never have friends and a girlfriend……
I’ll never graduate college and get a career…..