Howdy. Hows your weeek?
Let me start off by saying if you have a Fricking wif3 don’t tell me you’re single and lead me on sick of that shit and I have no sympathy for your dead s3x life.
I’m quite a homebody that mixed with being sick in bed has left me in a bit of a pickle. But it’s a bit too quiet.
Could defo use some company or someone to chat with. If you’re funny, over 25 and not a total ass hat then let’s be friends. (Helps if your cute too but not a deal breaker)
I’m very much a go with the flow person so I’m not really putting boundaries in possibilities so like I said if somethings there it’s there. To be transparent just had a 5 month relationship go to the shitter so if your funny and reassuring I’d really like to that because i could use a giggle.
So yeh hit me up I waffle like this all the time so be warned and yeh check my profile I have other posts and see what my type etc is.
Also to make sure I can weed you out of the mass flood of penis add your fav emoji so I know you read this far 🩵

I (F50) had four shots at 0.25, due to start on 0.5 on Thursday Food noise is much less, no side effects, get full quite quick And I am eating much much less But no weight loss apart from 4lb first week I know it’s titration time right now and 1.7 is there you start seeing results but I am just wondering You start seeing results on higher doses simply because you can’t eat anything But I’m already not eating much Genuinely - eating half of what I used to I don’t drink hardly anything apart from tea and coffee and I have seen people posting that they drink 3 litres plus
I’ve been on Cambridge diet (UK version of VLCD of 600 calories a day) and I know for a fact when I didn’t drink their recommended 2.5 l even low calorie intake wouldn’t move the scales
So I’m wondering if it’s the water ?
So frustrating as I keep seeing posts like this- I lost 12lb and I’m feeling guilty I mean really?? And no , I hate exercise in any shape or form and even walking I find extremely boring so that’s not sustainable for me and I have a desk job being self employed it means 12 hours a day at the desk So …. 😭 rant over

The Context:

/Barcelona is the main sub for the second largest city in Spain and the capital of Catalonia. Long a tourist hotspot, much of the local economy is driven by tourism.
OOP posts a picture of graffiti in a park with the message: “Tourist: your luxury trip my daily misery.” [sic]
Users begin debating if this is a fair take, the effect of tourism on the city, and vomiting memes.
For ease of readability to a majority English-speaking audience, I’ve translated some comments from Catalan, poorly.

The Drama:

Is the graffiti expressing a selfish sentiment?

What a selfish, shitty thing to say to someone trying to live their best lives and share a bit of the magic you enjoy everyday.

Love this comment! Not all tourists are bad.

Tourism is unsustainable.

So we should all just stick to the respective cities we’re born in? What a lovely, thriving, multi-cultural society that’ll end up in /s

Not all the cities have the same problems. Responsible tourism is a thing

[Continued:]

Then why don't you vote for politicians that want to improve the situation?
Tourism tax, restrictions on how many people can visit a park/attraction per day, etc pp.
Instead you get nonstop whining on reddit. Or shared bicycles that can only be rented by Barcelona residents. Wow, good job! The tourism tax is at only 4-5€ per night in Barcelona. Compare that to Berlin where it's a whopping 7% soon (which is usually way higher than 5€).

Who did tell you who I vote for or what I do? [If you want we can talk face to face when you want clown]

Oh no, we got a badass over here. [I didn't say anything like that, of course you tourists are the problem if your head lacks intelligence...]

[It's very good to learn Catalan (good luck with what you have left to reach a decent level, I'm really telling you this with love) but don't put words in other people's mouths without knowing. There are many of us here who are fed up with the borderline situation that the city is living in and if you are a privileged person who doesn't get the slightest bit, I would at least ask you to have the decency to keep quiet when it's time to keep quiet]

[…]

No. We should stop travelling at the expense of the plane, the cities and the people's suffering. And locals should resist what makes their lives more difficult. In this case, a tourist model that hikes rents, contaminates and destroys the social fabric of the community displacing people and creating precarious jobs that provide no stability or value. Barcelona can be a great and fun place if you are staying here for a week, or if you are a remote worker that gets paid by a large firm with headquarters in Amsterdam. But that fun can be, and is, disastrous for other people. That search for sun and beach, of parties and stories uploaded to social media causes many problems for others. That's a fact. Non-sustainable tourism is what it is. Tourists and expats (high earning migrants) can be, individually, very nice and conscious folks. But the dynamics they are participating in are the cause of many problems for the city and its inhabitants.
[It's the market, friend.]

[…]

The problem isn't the singular tourist. The problem is suffocating hordes of tourists that treat your home like an amusement park or museum.
Tourism can be a real economic win for a city, but it also has externalities that can kill the very thing that made it special if not kept in check. Barcelona is a great example of this.
I say this both as someone who loves to travel and who lives in a tourist hotspot.

I mean, there is not too much you can do about it besides a ridiculous tax, and that would be a little hypocritical if you love to travel, because traveling should be accessible to the majority of people.
It makes sense to me if you defend the free market, and you put the price on your city or whatever you want to do like a libertarian, but again,it is hypocritical when we see that the political party that won the elections do not like the free market or libertarian politics.
You can't have all.

Woooosh!
That's the sound of everything going over your head

Lmao, it is the definition of being a logical thinker and not being a hypocrite.

Oh sorry, it went so over your head, that you didn't even hear the whoosh.
You're talking politics when I was talking social and economic. So, not much of a logical thinker.
But it doesn't surprise me that Barcelona would vote that way. It's called the resource curse, and by now tourism will have all but killed all other industries. So yeah, they have no choice now. Which is exactly what I was talking about in my second paragraph.

Who are the users of the sub anyway?

Because 90% of the people answering are expats. They don't fucking care about locals, they mostly despise or ignore them. Most of them live in their own English ghettos, not even bothering about anything else that themselves.

Biggest load of horseshit I’ve read all day.
You live in fantasy land and it’s really, really sad to see. I hope you open your eyes one day.

[How is your Catalan?]

[my Catalan is good. not that it matters]
Nobody “despises” Catalans. Every single person I know that has moved here is desperate to get involved with local culture, history and activities. They try their hardest to learn the language. They try their hardest to make more catalan friends.
Classic Reddit perpetual victim.

Is Barcelona dying?

Barcelona is dying. Soon it will be an empty city, a shiny shell of what had once been alive and authentic. The locals can't face the rent prices, the gentrified shops and bars, we are forced to leave our neighborhoods and give up decent housing.

Looking at rent availability and prices - it is very far from dying.

Are you looking at the prices as a foreigner or as a local? Because wages in Spain for most of us are quite poor, so yes, it's really difficult to find decent housing with those prices

And yet people don't do anything like moving away meaning situation is still not that bad.
When things like that happened in my country - a lot of people emigrated for better work and things normalised at home too.
Economy has a way of fixing itself. No workers to serve tourists - higher wages or fewer tourists.

It will only be expats and tourists here and the 10% rich Catalans in the end. Look at the most common local salary from locals in the city.

You're so close to understanding the root of the issue. Yet so far...

Yeah, it's all the fault of the 10% of evil Catalans. OK. Nobody else is responsable or can do anything.

[Continued:]

Think a little bit harder. You can do it.

[You're enlightening, kid.]

I give you the answer because you're obviously struggling. It's the wages. Your salary is shit, and there's no excuse for that because you live in a rich region, of a rich country, part of a rich continent.
And once again, one of the greatest success of those profiteering is to turn people like you into the useful idiots by pointing the finger to people from your own social class: in this case, the Ryanair flying middle to low income tourists (yeah, far from luxury holidays), who are the majority of the people visiting this city. And with whom you have much more in common than you realize.
While prices have increased, as it did everywhere around the globe, Barcelona remains a cheap city. And that's exactly the reason why it is such a popular destination across the spectrum of tourists, and especially with low income ones.
So, if you really want to change something, start asking yourself why wages are so low in such a rich region. And at an individual level, negotiate (like I did) an income worth your efforts. And if it's still not enough, keep in mind that 80% of the properties are owned by locals.

You don't know shit about how I fight, or any people like me for a more fair society. Probably way more than you. But this post is about overtourism and touristification. I can care about multiple things and fight multiple fights.

Then this conversation is over, you don't have the intellectual bandwidth to understand something as simple as how low wages are linked to the problem you blame "the tourists" for. Also, if me, an immigrant from a poor Caribbean country, is able to live significantly better than you in a place where I arrived few years ago without speaking the language, ask yourself the right questions about your fighting abilities, and probably your life choices.

[Continued:]

Lol you know shit about who I am, my life choices, or the money I earn. Your comment is funny.
I'm a socialist. I care about my family and friends, about people who had less oportunities than me. I despise people who only think about themselves, or fight only for themselves. The last part of your comment says a lot about you. Bye.

Sure, keep telling yourself that you're a socialist while defending a xenophobic agenda benefiting the ruling class. Like I said, useful idiots like you are what's keeping the system on its feet. Great work 👍

A user is crowned king:

When your own city becomes overcrowded all the time and you can’t afford to live in the center because it’s so expensive due to tourist/expats money inflating the market, it doesn’t matter how much money “the city” makes from tourism, your individual life is affected very negatively and you live worst off than with less tourism. I’m not even a local, but this is not hard to understand.

can’t really blame tourists for systemic issues

Erm, says who, you, the king?
If local wages are lower than abroad (not ideal but would be ok in its own, it’s still better than my own country) but due to how attractive the weather and culture is, people from other countries with much higher wages flock here and destroy the market, either by paying much higher (making it impossible for locals) or buying properties to rent (know many who do this, buy something, live in it 3 months of the year, and rent to other expats the rest of the year) - who’s fault is? The locals? lol

then fight for wages, not tourists.

This is why the locals hate you lol

[Continued:]

This is why I don't care bro.
[Photo of a beach]

What are you trying to prove? I’m not even a local, I just have more than a brain cell and understand why the locals blame the tourists, which is what was being discussed.

Nothing mate, I just really don't care who hates me. That is my day everyday at 11 am.

You care enough to have made now 3 comments that are totally irrelevant to what was being discussed.
“I don’t care. I swear. I promise! Let me show you that I don’t care. I really don’t care I swear”.

[…]

People working in tourism related jobs mostly work part-time, have no indefinido contracts and earn minimum wage. You can google that.
Some people are getting rich by tourism, most people are just surviving in it.
But of course 'expats' and tourists who represent most of the sub members and not local or immigrant workers are going to upvote your out of touch comment.

Some of these people need it to survive though

Not the Airbnb owners obviously

I have an Airbnb and I need it to survive.

Get a job.

What is misery?

Misery is that your old neighborhood is full of souvenir shops and none of your friends even live there anymore.

Shut the fuck up, Spain has one of the highest living standards in the world. You’re mad because other people want to visit and have a bit of it in their shitty lives? Spain has it so damn good, the thing youre complaining about is literally a problem around the entire developed world and isn’t necessarily any worse or unique to Barcelona. Stop being so damn dramatic and accept that your ‘misery’ is just you disliking seeing foreigners happy.

If you can afford spending hundreds of euros in partying and Airbnbs, why is their life so shitty? Leave your jobs and come work here as a server, try to rent anything with the minimum salary. Barcelona can be a paradise, but the tourist model is making it a hell for the majority.
Yeah, the market is being a problem for everyone everywhere. Now, people in Barcelona have to fight against the effects of the market in the city. As everybody should do in their home cities. A Barcelona for those who build their lives there, not for those who wish to consume and toss it.

Something tells me, me, a guiri, leaving my job and working in Barcelona makes Catalans even more mad than if I were just visiting.

And that something is in the room, here with us?
in fact if you live and work in Catalonia you are a Catalan. so this comment makes 0 sense at all.

Who’s to blame anyway?

Classic losers playing the victim card. Without tourism beautiful Barcelona's economy would be destroyed. But please keep blaming your shortcomings on others.

Barcelona was beautiful before tourism.

If you live in Barcelona, enjoy it. It is and will always be beautiful, and if you truly believe otherwise you are wasting the time you have in one of the world’s greatest cities. Times are tough, yes, but remember that people are also having tough times in the middle of nowhere, without any cultural outlets or ability to find likeminded people. Real estate greed is running rampant the world over, and hopefully it will not last.
Be a part of the solution, never travel again please. Just spend the rest of your life in Barcelona like a hermit. Otherwise you're a fucking hypocrite.

Hypocrite is thinking that tourism is good for the locals.

Ok great. Then be a part of the solution and never travel again. It hurts the locals. Been to London? Been to Berlin? Been to Italy? Greece? Cairo? Are you going to stop travelling and seeing the world? Everyone here knows perfectly well that you won't. It's just childish whining

The Flairs:

• “But I don't eat and vomit memes like you…”
  
• “Stop getting your news from memes”
  
• “You don't know shit about how I fight”
  

I need an idea on how long to expect the pain following my hysterectomy.
My story: I had a total hysterectomy/cystoscopy performed 5/8 due to endometriosis that decided to attach itself to various organs it didn’t belong on. It had been about three years of bleeding nonstop (this is not exaggerated-I should have taken up stock in pads) and horrible pain that no doctor believed. I saw five different obgyns before I found one who would listen to me and stay true to her word to give me a hysterectomy. Fast forward a few months and I got my surgery. They performed a cystoscopy in hospital with the hysterectomy and cleaned out my endo while inside. I was inpatient one night in the hospital to monitor pain/bleeding control. I can’t take NSAIDs so no ibuprofen for me- I am on blood thinners for a clotting disorder and history of several DVTS/pulmonary emboli.
I went home on Percocet because the norco was not controlling my pain. I used them sparingly after the first day or so home. I am not a big pain pill person. They upset my stomach & my dad was lost to substance abuse (started with script pain meds) so I avoid them like the plague. Started having signs of infection day 2 at home. Could not get past my triage nurse to get a note to my doctor. Day 5, 3rd try, after being told to take Tylenol and/or Benadryl, I ended up in my doctors office at her request. Immediately was directly readmitted to the hospital 5 days post op hysterectomy for a nasty, fast-moving infection-I said my pain was 7/10 initially but it only got worse from here. My initial liver labs were elevated so they wouldn’t allow anything with Tylenol. What does that leave? Something called roxicodone- oxy without Tylenol essentially-which gave me sleep paralysis and no pain control whatsoever. Was put on Vancomycin for the infection which then caused a systemic allergic reaction. Was given Hydroxizine to calm that down and Benadryl cream. It did not help much. Was discharged on day 10 post op, with clindamycin to take every 6 hours for 7 days for the infection. They sent home the roxicodone which I said did not help. Went home and began taking antibiotics. Had another allergic reaction, this time a full body, horrendously itchy and burning rash. Called my primary doctor and she took me off of it immediately. She sent me in Keflex. I’m allergic to amoxicillin so this should be a party as well. I have an appointment with the surgeon in three weeks. I have an appt with infectious disease this Friday. I have an appointment with GI for my liver problems (likely caused by surgery or the allergic reaction) Tuesday. I have no pain meds I can take, not even Tylenol or ibuprofen. They told me to take Benadryl and sent in a prescription for Gabapentin and told to use the Benadryl to “knock myself out”. Gabapentin isn’t working but I’m taking it anyways because I don’t know what else to do, hoping maybe it’ll build up some tiny amount of pain control in my system somehow.
I’m not on any weird registry for pain meds issues because I usually just flat out don’t take them, ever. Even when offered them. I don’t understand how this is okay.
So -here I am -2 weeks into this mess, rawdogging this hysterectomy and subsequent infection pain. I’ve been using ice packs and heat packs to do what I can, Zofran that my primary doc sent me in for extremely bad nausea (probably due to the pain), my third round of antibiotics, Benadryl for the leftover allergy rash, and I’m thinking about asking a wrestler to knock me out with a metal chair. I’m on day 13 with no pain relief in sight. I can’t sleep. I’m miserable. Please tell me the pain is going to diminish soon. Tell me what helped you with pain. 🙏

unitedstateshealthcare

~rant/vent~
🔍I had pretyped this just ranting then I realized i can post it anonymously here bc i’m really struggling and would like some outside advice human to human feels like i’m gaslighting myself lol. They have supported me and given me everything I need materialistically and do what they are supposed to as parents in that aspect I am very grateful and appreciative of that. in no way shape or form will I ever complain ab them giving me food, shelter, clothes etc. I’m not seeking to be coddled or get sympathy either i just need to know if it really is that bad or am I tripping.
🔬emotionally manipulative & guilt tripping parents will be their own demise. lol. finally dropping that mask you have with them, making them look at themselves and see the torment i had to mentally internalize & take on over the years > sitting back & letting them continue their behavior and control to keep destroying your identity & self continuing to deal with immense shame, guilt, sadness, and anger because you know how they are and you think theres no point in opening up to them or telling them what they do wrong bc they always do the same shit & continue to blame you for everything. note this though when I finally released all my years of internalized emotions on them and started texting them very knowledgeable shit about themselves, how they treated me, my mom trying to control and ruin me and my girlfriends relationship when we first got together (+ we have continued to be together for 1yr and 3 months still going strong she ain’t ruin shiiiit) & shit talked my gf for no reason at all. When I started texting paragraph after paragraph (+ texting them back and forth.) I was met with my mom thinking something isn’t right regarding my mental health and telling my dad and brother she thinks something is wrong with me again (she was surprised how I could speak so knowledgeable bc I barely even interact with them anymore) them texting my phone asking if everything is okay and they are worried ab me (she’s also made many comments before this situation like “you seem like you need to get back on ur medication you’re being irritable” etc when clearly that was the correct response to some fucked up comment she made i’m sick of that shit.) (sorry that was lowkey irrelevant but holy shit). them throwing what they do for me as PARENTS in my face, blame shifting, manipulation, lying, her saying she has no acknowledgment of ever treating me like that over the years, trying to ruin our relationship, or saying any of the vile shit she said about my gf. OH and how she thought It couldn’t possibly be me that’s writing these exceptional level paragraphs and she thought my gf was controlling me and making me send all of that to my parents(me texting her ab this shit went on for like 3 days, 3 days of her not taking accountability for anything, lying, trying to manipulate by making me feel bad as well and she had the nerve to say “it feels like i’m being abused” GIRLLL STOPPP HUH im still confused ab that one) it’s honestly sickening and baffling knowing ppl can think & say shit like that. i’ve been so detached from them since I was little (never knew why at the time) but THIS makes that detachment 100x worse and I feel like that’s a GOOD thing for me even though the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, bc i’m feeling free, released, not pint-up, etc most importantly more like I can finally be MYSELF!!! i’m way more comfortable in who I am and my Identity now at 19 could you imagine that like damn (just hoping it’s not temporary)!!! just putting this out there in hopes that someone else going through the same thing or similar will see and maybe help them a little. now i just gotta move out.
⚛️ she can’t see how what she says to people effects them drastically and takes 0 responsibility and acknowledgement of doing so and passes it off as “you don’t know me” “i’m a good person” “i have a good heart i love everybody” etc or blame everything on me for examples “we do everything for you” “you’re going to treat us like that when we sacrificed so much for you” etc um .. yeah they signed up for that when they decided to have a child so it’s fucked up to throw that in my face. THEN she loves to do this the most playing the victim card “you’re abusing me” “it feels like you are abusing me” “we feel like we can’t say anything right we are always walking on eggshells around you it’s exhausting” she knows damn well I’m not abusing her in any way shape or form that’s disrespectful to many people who actually had to go through and endure actual abuse. “do you want to hurt us? is that your goal” “you’re destroying the family” “you’re destroying our marriage” etc literally used to be all the timmmme when i was going through sh and stuff too. i didn’t do anything wronggggg all I did was speak up for myself FOR ONCE (bc it’s been YEARS) ab the shit she does and how i’m not okay with it i internalize literally everything (that’s y it took years. just sick of their shit idk what to do). low and behold after all that expressing I get met with all that blame shifting and lying. the reason why i never open up to her is bc when I do ever since i was little she always blamed me and made it seem like this whole other thing so hell yeah i’d rather internalize then talk to her that’s a way better option than getting met with guilt tripping and shit what else could I do but internalize n doing that fucked my head up BAD. there are MANY more examples of what else she would say and my dad too but i really think he’s brainwashed by her so idk that’s just off the top of my head .. lmao. she makes me feel so insaneee i even feel like i’m exaggerating and making a big deal n being too sensitive writing all this😵‍💫. there’s SO MUCH more context but fuck all that i typed enough. thx for coming to my ted talk🕷️.
🤢they are both closeted RACIST and openly HOMOPHOBIC so you can imagine what they say/have said to me and about other ppl. shit makes me so AHHH. anyways.

Flying home as I write this.
First don’t sweat the weather in May. We had what looked like 5 days of rain but we didn’t get a drop of rain until the last day. Got cloudy and looked like it might rain here and there but for the most part it was very pleasant weather. Don’t sweat it but pack some options.
Cash/credit. Almost didn’t need a euro. Paid with Apple Pay everywhere - taxis, metro, sites, restaurants, etc. one exception was the artists near sacre couer only took cash. Never needed or asked for a PIN.
Sites. Did all the major sites. Each and everyone now has heavy duty security, metal detectors and even body scanners. This makes it a very slow process to get in. Plan for that.
Arc de triumph was particularly painful when we were there. Eiffel Tower is also very painful due to the queueing at the elevators. Took us 2 hours minimum to get to top and back down. Louvre did a mad dash for the Mona Lisa at 9am and that worked out well with pretty small crowds. Then got to relax and enjoy the rest of the museum.
Funny - by the Eiffel tour you can go see the Olympic countdown clock. Ironically it was showing 101 days to the games when it was only supposed to be 67. Got a picture. It even made the news. Dummies. Makes me question how prepared they are for the Olympics. Hopefully they don’t think they have an extra month of prep time :)
Olympics prep - didn’t impact us in the least. Nothing we wanted to do was blocked by it.
Safety - no issues. Felt perfectly safe late at night, on the metro, Ubers, etc. only saw one clipboard lady at the Eiffel Tower and just walked away.
Trip highlight - Le Calife dinner cruise was amazing. I’ve been to Paris several times before but never did this due to seeming like a tourist trap - which I think most are. This one gets it right. It’s high end food and service on a boat. It was awesome - not cheap though. We were very happy with our front of boat seats. Great way to end the trip. Was from 8pm to almost 11pm.
St. Chapelle was an amazing first for me. Pretty incredible and worth the body scan to get in.
Ubemetro - took the metro to/from sacre couer just to let my son have the experience - it’s very easy to buy tickets and use. Otherwise mostly walked or did Ubers which were quick and plentiful. Official taxi from Cdg to Paris was easy to find - the trip into the city however was very painful and took close to 1.5 hours with the morning traffic.
Food - too much to report. We didn’t have a bad meal anywhere and refreshing to have good service regardless of price.
Recommend an after dinner stroll to a gelato shop every night.
CDG - I was really sweating coming home today with some kind of strike going on which mostly impacted the trains but also some airport staff. Showed up 3+ hours early to CDG but breezed thru security and passport check in under 30mins. Give yourself time but the horror stories seem overblown.

I need advice as I called the hospital and they wouldn’t let me past the receptionist who was of course no help. Im 27F had a polyp removed from my uterus 3 weeks ago. Everything is and went fine. They said no sexual activity or tampons for 4-6 weeks. I’ve read that a lot of people were just told two weeks, does anyone know why I might have to wait longer? Is it just that doctors preference? I generally have a heavy period and the thought of having it and only being able to use pads is stressing me out, especially with work. Do we think 25 days without a tampon is close enough to the recommended time frame? Also with ‘no sexual activity’ does that mean just nothing penetrating me or do they mean I can’t even have an orgasm?
If you have any advice it’s more than appreciated 🙏🏽

People ruminate on the past, who’s wronged them, and the things that are absent from their lives. People imagine past events as though they are still happening now. They use who they were in the past to define their future.
The issue with defining oneself in the present from your past is that it keeps you bound to the past. This self-imposed limitation asserts that everything about your past determines how you will behave in the future. Your future hasn't been written yet. The decisions you make will continue to shape who you can be.
When you are a child of an alcoholic, you learn from a very young age the signs to look for so you aren’t in the line of fire when the next violent episode occurs. And the feared incident always happens. Consequently, you become conditioned to react to these indications.
As an adult, you see evidence that because bad things have happened in the past doesn’t mean more bad things will happen. Not every slurred speech or stumbling from another person will cause harm. Therefore, you can determine that the past doesn’t have to repeat itself.
Although this may take time to realize, it doesn’t have to. You’re shaped by your past. The good news is, you aren’t bound to it. You can move beyond the difficulties of the past and into something far better. The main reason you don’t have to repeat the past is because you can learn from it.

While we cannot predict the future, we will most surely live it. Every action and decision we take - or don't - ripples into the future. ~ Jacque Fresco

Your Mindset Determines Your Future

You often have feelings and attachments to the past. The past can be hard to let go of, and it affects you emotionally. Yet you have a choice to make, an option to choose a different outlook, a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.
The fixed mindset is the idea that you believe your attributes and abilities are inherently fixed and can’t be changed. For example, you may think that you’re as smart as you’ll ever be and therefore, that thought process causes you not to even try to learn new things. Since you don’t believe your intelligence can grow with time and experience, then you can’t change, and your future will be the same.
A growth mindset is the exact opposite. This mindset is founded on the conviction that your basic abilities can be cultivated and are malleable. This allows one to grow with enthusiasm, time, and a commitment to improving, learning, and becoming greater than before. With a growth mindset, failures are short-term setbacks, and the process is usually more important than the outcome. So, with a growth mindset, your future is never predetermined. It’s boundless.
The fixed mindset is the most common mindset and the most harmful. So, you need to know which mindset you favor so you can learn from the past and then choose a different future. You can change your mindset just by thinking it through.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. ~ Mary Pickford

Reframing Your Past To Better Serve You

Your world is the one you make through your decisions. So is the one you remember from your past. Change the significance of the experiences if what you remember is difficult or negative. Examine the experiences that are preventing you from moving forward and try to see them from a more positive perspective. Reframe your rejection, to believe it was a sign from the Universe directing you to a better place. If you have ever failed at something, consider it a lesson in building resilience for a better future.

Accepting your history serves as a springboard and a means of getting ready for the future once you can no longer imagine a better ending for it. The way you identify who you have been and how you envision who you will be next, combine to form who you are today. Take care of the narratives you accept and write about yourself. Take deliberate steps to embrace the lessons learned from the past and the opportunities that lie ahead. 

These are the components of who you are right now. The gifts that make up your current existence have been your experiences. A clear vision for your life is essential, as you attract what you focus on. Your destiny is entirely within your control. Even if you can't control everything in life, you can still do great things if you accept responsibility, grow from your mistakes, and have a clear vision.

There are times in our lives when we have to realize our past is precisely what it is, and we cannot change it. But we can change the story we tell ourselves about it, and by doing that, we can change the future. ~ Eleanor Brown

Everybody Changes; So The Future Will Differ From The Past

As an adult, you have experienced enough of life to see that one constant is change. You grow, circumstances transform, people develop. All of this is observable. Therefore, if everybody changes, then the past can’t indicate the future.
Even those around you that don’t seem to have the desire to grow still change. They are based on the circumstances that occur in their life and by the choices they make. Not making a choice is still choosing, which impacts one’s life that doesn’t allow things to stay the same. Thus, despite a lack of growth, the future will differ from the past.
As you develop, how you perceive the past is altered and reframed. You learn from the past and determine ways to prevent unwanted situations. You make informed decisions and take responsibility for your choices, so that you can move forward toward the goals and dreams. Thus, validating that you are creating a better future than your past.
My aha moment came when I realized my past was holding me back because I allowed it to. I embraced both the idea that I had total autonomy to decide in the present and the reality that I couldn’t change the past, only reframe it. Then I choose to forgive anyone who had wronged me, as well as myself for my previous missteps. And you can make the same choice.

People underestimate their capacity for change. There is never a right time to do a difficult thing. ~John Porter

Making Your Future Better than Your Past

As you have seen, in order to improve your future than your past, believe that it’s possible. This may take a bit of courage to overcome your fears and move towards a growth mindset. Here are some ways to help you with this process.

1. Find Your Tribe To Create The Future You Desire

You may have to cut ties with those people in your life that keep you fixated on negativity. The girlfriend who’s always teasing you about the mistake you made years ago has no bearing on the present, except that it keeps your ego in a place of embarrassment every time she mentions it. The people who remind you of your failings or missteps are focusing on the negativity of the past. You may need to spend less time with these people.
Instead, focus on those people who are encouraging, the ones who are excited for you to try new ventures or take a class. This is your tribe, the ones who look at your best attributes and speak positively to you. They remind you of the successes you’ve had, to inspire you to keep moving forward. Make new friends in the areas that you are growing. It's helpful to have someone learning with you to discuss and problem solve together.
Releasing those people from your life that have a negative influence on you is an important step to safeguarding that your future doesn’t resemble your past. By ensuring that you have people who are positive and encouraging around, you help yourself enlarge the possibilities of a better and boundless future.

When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. ~ Gerald G. Jampolsky

2. Let Go Of The Past And Its Attachments

Fear of loss is a common concern, like the anxiety of losing your job and the grief of losing a friend. The harsh reality is that you will lose things and loved ones. It’s the natural course of life. Nonetheless, being anxious about the future or worried about the past does nothing but keep you from being fully present and working towards your goals.
The fear of loss can cause many to stay in a mode of indecision and procrastination throughout the course of their lives. People grow attached to the stuff in their lives. Things like their profession, their prominence, their income, their lifestyle, etc. To pursue a change would mean relinquishing some or these things that are now associated as part of your life. Because of this aversion to loss, many people choose to put their dreams on hold — continuously.
By becoming less attached to the things in your life, you overcome the fear of loss. This enables you to move forward towards your goals and build a better future for yourself.

Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. ~ Yoda

3. Accepting What Is Stops The Struggling

By learning to be thankful for your current situation, one changes the focus from lack to having enough. This is important from a universal perspective. Acceptance for what is allows peace to enter your life instead of feeling you are fighting just to get by.
Part of acceptance is gratitude for everything you have, which includes any hardships, as they’re there for you to learn something. The fastest way through adversity is to ask the Universe what lesson are you to glean from the experience. Then, you have to get quiet and discern how this situation can teach you something about yourself or how you relate to the world around you.
One of the best ways to help you see all the good in your life is a gratitude journal. It’s easy to write a few items each evening that happened during your day, which you are grateful for. They can be things like the beautiful sunrise you witnessed while driving into work or your child passed their math test even though he struggled with the homework. You have things in your life to appreciate, and this is where you need to focus your attention in order to shape the vision you have for your future.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it. ~ Michael J. Fox

4. Small Steps Towards A Better Future

Growth and development don’t happen overnight. It takes time. And you want things to happen quickly as you are impatient with yourself. But you need to be kind, give a little self-care and self-love. Pay attention to the incremental steps you take as you grow.
It took me over two years before I could meditate daily. I wanted to, but I had to overcome obstacles within myself in order to accomplish this goal. First, I set the intention to meditate daily, but I had focus issues. So, I had to work on being able to quiet my mind so that I could focus. Once I accomplished that step, I added meditation to my calendar, because if it’s on my calendar, I do it. This entire process could be frustrating, but I focused on each incremental step, not the end result. Now, I wouldn’t begin my day without first meditating.
So, whatever you are trying to accomplish, set up steps along the path so you can have minor victories along the way. This ensures you will continue to move forward even if you run into a time of struggle. Being able to see that you overcame previous difficulties encourages you to continue until you accomplish the goal.

You need to be content with small steps. That's all life is. Small steps that you take every day, so when you look back down the road, it all adds up and you know you covered some distance. ~ Katie Kacvinsky

Remember, You Are Wiser Now

It’s unnecessary for you to continue suffering just because you were taken advantage of or mistreated by others, often by those closest to you. You have the power to decide to quit mentally reliving the past. Actually, more anguish is frequently caused by your mind continuously playing back an awful experience from the past than by the actual incident.
You are no longer required to assume the victim's role. You're a survivor. And you can determine how you interpret negative experiences from your past. It’s the key to your freedom.
Unlike what some people think, you can be remorseful without always punishing yourself for past transgressions. Make the adjustments and move on. I can attest to the liberating nature of forgiveness, having extended forgiveness to my abusive mother. You don't choose to be forgiving of others in order to excuse or justify their actions. You choose to be free through forgiveness.
It's also important for you to accept responsibility for your own missteps. Since nobody is perfect. You don't have to serve a life sentence that you put on yourself in order to make up for the wrongs you did or the poor decisions you made. Treat yourself with self-compassion.
You can choose to see your past as quicksand or a launching pad. It’s up to you to make use of your experiences as a tool or allow them to be used against you.

Close the door on the past. Don’t try to forget the mistakes, but don't dwell on them. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space. ~ Johnny Cash

Moving Forward Believing In A Better Future

You have the freedom to decide how much control you wish to have over your present life, regardless of what has happened in the past. Although it’s impossible to undo the past, you can reframe it and decide how to respond to it.
Belief is paramount to being able to do anything. Confidence in your abilities, conviction in your resolve to constantly move forward, and faith that all your work will make your dreams a reality. Maintaining this belief is important, which is why you need to take pride in the victories along the way.
Every disappointment that you overcame, each circumstance you seized, and the individuals that arrived along the way that you recognized were there to help you. All the success along the way helps you maintain the belief that the future is going to be better than your past, because you are creating it every day.
No matter how awful it was, your past does not indicate your future. The decisions and deeds you commit to today will ultimately shape who you become in the future. Decide to take what you've learned from the past and use it in the present to live the life that was meant for you.

Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay. ~ Simone de Beauvoir

My husband insisted on having his dad help paint the nursery so she showed up to help on mother’s days and he hasn’t left since. He’s been sleeping on the living room couch since then and I feel like I’m going insane.
The painting isn’t going well and we’re just going to have to cover it ourselves anyways. He is only doing one wall mind you, so over the last 9 days he’s been here, he’s started over and over and over on the same thing every night because he’s not happy with it. He is not painting a mural in case you were wondering if the circumstances warranted nine days of work on one small wall.
I just want his dad to leave. I don’t care about the painting at all at this point. He can paint a dick on the wall and call it good for all I care now. I just want him to go home.
I want to have privacy and be comfortable in my home. I want the baby furniture and baby gifts to not be sitting in our entryway until the painting is done. I don’t want to tiptoe around all day while I WFH because his dad is asleep in the living room until 1 pm every day. I want to be able to use the bathroom at night without going in to a toilet full of someone else’s piss and the seat up. I want to be able to hang my towel in the bathroom Without someone else using it. I want to be able to clean the house on my weekend without working around someone sleeping in the living room.
We never discussed him staying the night at all, let alone for over a week.
We are having a baby shower at our hosie in two weeks and it’s been difficult to prepare the house with him here. I can barely focus on deep cleaning because I am trying to keep up with the extra daily cleaning.
I snapped tonight and told my husband my entire family would be coming over to our house for dinner (for the first time ever) this weekend, so he has a sharp deadline to help with the deep cleaning that needs to be done. He was so upset that I would invite them with such short notice when we have so much work to do, and also added, “what if my dad’s still painting?” He went into a panic because it would be embarrassing to host anyone with the current state of the house.
My family isn’t actually coming over, but I want him to feel the level of anxiety and discomfort I’ve been feeling because of his lack of boundaries with his family.
I drove two hours this morning to work in person to get away. I’m working in person again tomorrow and if his dad is still there when I get home, I’ll be turning right around and sleeping elsewhere.
I am seriously against any of his family visiting postpartum after this and will be implementing a strict time limit for any guests.

Hi, recently switched to a rifleman and I want to share my thoughts as well as hear your opinion on the subject if you have some experience with this build/weaponry.
For reference this is my build:
https://nukesdragons.com/fallout-76/character?v=1&s=6a64aaa&d=sg2sb2p02pd1pk1po2pp2pl1ce0cu2la2l71l10lk2lu2lv2s72ao0a12a04a32ib4s12im1in1ir2eh2eu0e00ek0&lp=x13x43x73x83x93xm3
Unyielding, mainly energy weapon based.
I'm living on popcorn, purified water (used to overeaters pa), company tea and eventually canned coffee.
I do not pretend to be able to deal the same damage as a true meta build. And i accept the limit of unyielding (radiation zones/damage, some particular daily ops combo).
Still I aim to a certain degree of efficiency to deal with my way of playing.. soloing expeditions, being able to carry an event if necessary and classic endgame stuff.
I'm not interested in free aim, vats based.
My equipment is mainly based by 4+1 weapons:

• "+1" being Aristocratic/Explosive/15 reload Black powder rifle, kind of meme weapon, but it perfectly fit so I like to have it on the favourite wheel for when i can just have fun without worrying about dps/time and this stuff.
  
• Instigating/50 more critical damage (50 from so on/ 25 less action points cost (25 from so on) Enclave rifle: reflex and aligned sniper rifle.
  

I would prefer something like Anti Armor to be not linked to enemy life but it's fine. Enclave plasmas puck a punch in any way you build them.. strong, smooth fast reload, with severe beta capacitor the ammo capacity goes from 9 to 15. Only true issue is stealth (as all the energy weapons) and the high ap cost. But as rifleman, is sustainable.
-Bloody/50 hit chance/25 Laser rifle: I use the snappy receiver (or whatever it is) for keeping a nice rate of fire. I tried the aligned sniper barrel but.. that stuff seemed a bit crap to me, not just the reduced ammo capacity (from 30 to 9) but the fact that it doesn't seem to really compensate that with an increase on damage, on paper looks fine but using it.. no no. Probably bounded to the "charging". Switched to the other aligned long rifleman barrel

• AntiArmo25% faster rate of fire/25 Ultracite Laser Rifle: that's been a freaking surprise. Laser are a bit delusional on commando, especially the Ultracite and with faster fire rate

But on a rifleman.. wow.. this weapon seems to be made for this, powerful, with a rate of fire higher than my finger can press (63 with calibrated capacitor where 63 should be the number of ammo shoot in 10 seconds). 30 ammo capacity and a decent enough reload
It's not stealth but surely my favourite weapon with this build. With the rifleman barrel it also looks really cool and well fitted.

• Quad/50/25 Gauss Rifle: this is the main weapon, especially for bosses.. silent (at least in theory since it has the silencer, not used enough to say if the explosive effect break the stealth), with perforating capacitor for 40% armor penetration and a really high base damage.

I hate it aesthetically.. is higher than my character..
But it also is the weapon that most makes me wonder how it works (or to best use it). My idea, using a quad, was to not lose time charging shot, just spamming. But i don't know (if someone of you have some experience I would appreciate your thoughts) how much damage do i lose not charging shot, if it would be better to completely charge at least the crit shot.
It's also a bit buggy, going 404 and not getting you sprint, stim and reload till you either bash/fire a complete charged round or switch weapon.
It seems to be mostly a problem in first person and this bugs me since Escape Artist is smoother in fp.
Finally, the most important part.. advice me on some outfit to use.. being "free" or atom shop, whatever, if you have a good combination. Right now I'm using Bos Spec ops suit with gray knit cap and gas mask with goggles. And i genuinely like it, but maybe you know some better combinations that might fit this build.
Thanks for reading (eventually lol)

So, this has happened only twice, but the storage of my memcache add on (heroku) hit its limit, meaning that some kind of objects weren't expiring.
I added code for everything I could control and then I realized - it's probably not expiring session data.
In the session_store.rb I have the following:

Myapp::Application.config.session_store ActionDispatch::Session::CacheStore, :expire_after => 1.week 

Weirdly some documentation uses "expire_after" (no colon), while some documentation uses ":expire_after" (colon).
Second, I found that using 1.week for ttl on objects I get from the database and then store in memcahe that you must use the number of seconds. It changed somewhere from rails 4.x to 7.x.
Is this true of this setting as well?
Can anyone clarify this?
I can't keep resetting my memcache store when it hits it's memory limit and kick every logged in user off of my site.
Any help would be appreciated.

Hi,
I currently have reFind in my Mac so that I can double boot in my Mac,
I'm having two issues, the first is that I can't customise my reFind, so when I log into my computer, all of the boot options appear, while I only need Mac and Ubuntu. I tried changing to this my refind.conf:

#refind.conf

#Configuration file for the rEFInd boot menu

#Scan for maulually defined boot entries only

scanfor manual

#Timeout in seconds for the main menu screen. Setting the timeout to 0

#disables automatic booting (i.e., no timeout). Setting it to -1 causes

#an immediate boot to the default OS UNLESS a keypress is in the buffer

#when rEFInd launches, in which case that keypress is interpreted as a

shortcut key. If no matching shortcut is found, rEFInd displays its

menu with no timeout.

timeout 20
use_nvram false

#A sample entry for loading Ubuntu using its standard name for

its GRUB 2 boot loader. Note uses of Linux-style forward slashes

menuentry Ubuntu {
volume "Ubuntu"
loader /EFI/ubuntu/grubx64.efi
icon /EFI/refind/icons/os_linux.png
disabled
}

#MacOS is normally detected and run automatically; however,

if you want to do something unusual, a manual boot stanza may

be the way to do it. This one does nothing very unusual, but

it may serve as a starting point. Note that you'll almost

certainly need to change the "volume" line for this example

to work.

menuentry "My macOS" {
icon \EFI\refind\icons\os_mac.png
volume "macOS boot"
loader \System\Library\CoreServices\boot.efi
disabled
}
But it still doesnt work.
The second issue that Im having is that sometimes when I load Mac through refind I dont have an issue, other times I don, I dont understand why. Can someone help me please Thanks
P.S.: im kind of a noob with reFind I just installed so sorry if this is obvious haha

Just sharing a few free tools, resources etc. that might make your tech life a little easier. I have no known association with any of these unless stated otherwise.
But first, in the latest Security Swarm Podcast: "Microsoft’s SFI Expansion, UK’s New PSTI Law & Updates on Change Healthcare Attack,” we discuss the cybersecurity landscape based on data from the Monthly Threat Report for May 2024. We cover a range of news items, including Microsoft’s recent announcement to expand the Secure Future Initiative, the new PSTI (Product Security and Telecommunications Infrastructure) Act in the UK and a significant brand impersonation campaign targeting the German financial entity Commerzbank. Additionally, you'll hear updates on the Change Healthcare ransomware attack.
We're looking for your favorite tips and tools we can share with the community... those that help you do your job better and more easily. Please share your suggestions on the IT Pro Tuesday subreddit, and we'll be featuring them in the coming weeks.
Now on to this week's list!
A Free Tool
Iamroot DNS Lookup is an online tool for resolving domain names. Supports the most-common record types and performs secondary lookups on any references in the returned DNS records. Author flems77 explains, "MX Toolbox has a lot of excellent tools, but for basic DNS lookups, I had a really hard time finding any basic and simple tool with low-key results. So, I actually made my own."
A Tip
A solution-finding strategy suggested by Bleglord:
Adding site:Reddit.com to searches for odd issues with no documentation online.
A Podcast
Packet Protector is a new offering from Packet Pushers that covers the latest security headlines as well as delving into tech and strategic insights on a wide range of essential networking topics. SevaraB says, "[it] gets into good security day-to-day operational stuff without getting quite as ranty as Steve Gibson."
Another Free Tool
SoftPerfect Network Scanner is a universal IPv4/IPv6 scanner that can ping, scan ports, and discover shared folders. Includes flexible filter and display options. lpbale0 adds, "It is robust, extensible, and updated on a regular basis. You can also integrate NMAP for Windows into it. Yea, NMAP for Windows, I said it, flame me."
A Tutorial
Modifying XML, JSON, INI configuration files without sed is a detailed blog post explaining an alternative method for adjusting config files, including the relevant code. pdp10 favors this approach to using "sed, jq, xmlstarlet, augtool for elegantly modifying config files."
You can find this week's bonuses here or signup to get each week's list in your inbox here.

Hi everyone,
I'm in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'm a 27-year-old female, and he's a 29-year-old male. We're going to celebrate our two-year anniversary this August. We met in our hometown through mutual friends during the summer and clicked instantly. He’s a wonderful and caring guy, and I love him so much. He makes the effort to visit me every 2-3 months since I can’t visit him due to visa restrictions.
Initially, the distance was manageable and didn’t affect me much. However, after our recent trip together, I returned home feeling deeply frustrated that he wasn’t with me. To make matters worse, I had a car accident on the second day back. Physically, I’m fine, but mentally, it took a toll on me. I wished he was here to support me.
I have a tendency to isolate myself when I’m feeling depressed. I haven't been to therapy due to the cost, but I try to analyze my behavior and stay aware of my mental state. This time, though, it’s been really hard. I feel miserable in my life here and unhappy. I used to love working out, but it doesn’t bring me joy anymore. There’s not much to do here besides going out and drinking on weekends. All my close friends, who aren’t many, live abroad, including my boyfriend.
My boyfriend has a very active social life, and it seems like the distance doesn’t impact him as much as it does me. I get jealous, not of the people he’s with, but because I want to be the one sharing those moments with him. I’ve started feeling like an accessory in his life. I know this isn’t true, but these feelings build up, making me angry and causing me to overanalyze everything. I struggle to communicate my feelings to him because I don’t want to seem jealous or needy. He gets confused and upset when I don’t communicate, but I just can’t find the right words.
I don’t think there’s a solution to closing the gap between us except getting married, which we haven’t planned. I honestly don’t know what to do.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you cope with it? Any advice on managing these feelings and the long-distance relationship would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading, it means a lot :)

RULES:

1. No stores or dealers selling on here. We won't stop stores from responding to sell posts with buy offers, though. At that point, it's up to the seller to accept or reject the offer.
   
2. Do not spam this thread. Your sell/trade offer(s) should be confined to one post per week. If you list multiple cards as separate orders, or multiple lots of cards as separate orders, do so in the same post with a clear delineation. As a seller, you may post whether you want offers within the thread or whether you want a private message. If you want to make this different for different listings, that's your prerogative. State what country you're shipping from and include shipping price+method for your own country. If you are willing to ship to other countries, say so.
   
3. No eBay posts.
   
4. If a card is sold/traded, edit your post and invalidate any pending offers for that card. "Short selling" is not acceptable here, since we're dealing in physical goods and shipping times may be an issue, especially if the buyer is a tournament player. Do not short sell cards.
   
5. Buyers: Post your offer directly underneath a sell listing, unless you are topping someone else's offer, in which case you should post directly underneath that offer.
   
6. Buyers: Feel free to post a "want" list.
   
7. For the sake of preventing identity theft and/or harassment, do NOT post identifying information (name, address, paypal info) in the thread.
   
8. No throwaway accounts.
   
9. Needless to say, we're Magic players. We don't necessarily have to pay in cash. It's entirely up to the seller whether to consider "2 Force of Will" as a highelower bid than $160.
   
10. There is also a deckbox.org trading area that can be used as well, at http://deckbox.org/communities/reddit_mtg_trades.
    

If you have any comments about the rules rather than about a particular auction, feel free to discuss them here.
PAYPAL FEE INFO: (Quoted from Paypal)
Free when the money comes from PayPal balance or bank account.
2.9% + $0.30 USD when the money comes from a debit or credit card or PayPal Credit
MAILING INFO: See USPS Link.
SCAMMER INFO: I will not link it directly here, but be sure to check out the scammer list on deckbox before doing any trading to ensure yourself to having a safe trade!
You probably can't mail off more than one toploader in a normal envelope+stamp due to it being too rigid; and you shouldn't do this for more than $10-20 worth of cards anyway since there's no tracking. Get a bubble mailer and get it tracked.

I need some advice, as I called the hospital to ask and they wouldn’t let me past the receptionist who was of course no help. Im 27 had a polyp removed from my uterus 3 weeks ago. Everything is and went fine. They said no sexual activity or tampons for 4-6 weeks. I’ve read that a lot of people were just told two weeks, does anyone know why I might have to wait longer? Is it just that doctors preference? I generally have a heavy period and the thought of having it and only being able to use pads is stressing me out, especially with work. Do we think 25 days without a tampon is close enough to the recommended time frame?
Also with ‘no sexual activity’ does that mean just nothing penetrating me or do they mean I can’t even have an orgasm?
If you have any advice it’s more than appreciated 🙏🏽

So this is my first campaign in pathfinder. I’ve only played DnD 3.5 before so I’m still learning what does and doesn’t translate. My DM has a “session points” system that allows us a couple chances to use a list of boons per meetup (such as a reroll on one die, stabilizing after a fatal hit once, or, the one I planned to use: being able to take one standard action or move action immediately)
I’m playing a Life Mystery-Oracle/ Paladin (and one of my revelations is an ability called Energy Body. It causes my body to suffuse with pure life energy. If undead creatures slap, grapple or hit me with a melee weapon, they take positive energy damage. Same if I hit them. If a living allied creature moves through my space or I move through theirs, they heal and I can choose whether a creature moving through me heals or not. Text states that my body becomes “pure life energy” and I take on the appearance of a golden white elemental.
Recently we encountered a ghost and I had an idea from dealing with incorporeal creatures in a dnd campaign and remembering you can stand in the same space like you would a cloud or puff of smoke. In DnD, a corporeal creature can occupy the same space as incorporeal one if it succeeds on a touch attack. My idea was to use energy body and attempt to (RPing) “hug” the ghost with my “goddess’s healing light”, but since you can’t grapple with incorporeal creatures I would simply pass into and be standing inside the spirits form by occupying the same space. I assumed after occupying the same space after a successful touch attack as in DnD, and since touching undead causes positive energy damage to them while I’m in energy form, that standing inside them would do something cool. Passing through one side to the other would understandably be a single completed touch attack, as I touch and stop touching, but stopping mid pass leaves me in direct continued contact the ghost till they or I moved.
Our DM went with me passing through the ghost and failing the grapple (hug) since they can’t be grappled(expected). They wouldn’t however allow me to occupy the enemy’s space and instead shunted me past the ghost 5ft citing that they can’t occupy the same space when they succeed on an attack and that passing from in front of, to inside of, counted as moving through a threatened space and triggered an AoO. Therefor when I was inside the ghosts space the AoO success meant I couldn’t occupy it (not expected). Ive only found online that they can’t occupy the same space while they are attacking (I’m assuming they enter our plane and become corporeal momentarily meaning their form has a physical mass and can’t exist inside our mass in the same location.) and didn’t factor a AoO triggering.
However the wording says that they can only NOT occupy the same space during THEIR attacks. Meaning if they fail an attack or can’t, their space can be occupied.
A teammates ability triggered and killed it directly after, but my idea was to use a session point to immediately reenter the ghosts space before this turn ended using a move action and attempt an occupation again. Since an AoO can only be triggered once per round, passing into the ghosts space a second time wouldn’t be able to trigger an AoO, meaning they can’t materialize and we CAN now occupy the same space.
Would this have worked in the way I’m thinking or am I way off the mark?
TLDR: What would a being of “pure life energy” existing inside the bulk of a ghost or other undead spectral creature do to it if it couldn’t move away or attack for 30 seconds or more (assuming they can’t act for the next 5 turns in initiative at 6 seconds a turn with their turn triggering a new round and a forcing a new touch attack for occupying a shared space)? If they fail the next touch attack and I continue existing in the same space for even longer, what would happen? Or am I completely off mark?

Hey Redditors,
I’m diving into writing a research paper and thought I’d share some tips that have helped me along the way. Whether you’re a newbie or looking to refine your skills, these pointers can guide you through the process.

1. Choose a Clear, Focused Topic: Start with a broad area of interest, then narrow it down to a specific question or hypothesis. A well-defined topic helps you stay on track and makes your research more manageable.
2. Conduct Thorough Research: Use a variety of sources—books, academic journals, reputable websites. Take detailed notes and organize them by theme or argument. Don’t forget to keep track of your sources for citations!
3. Develop a Strong Thesis Statement: Your thesis is the backbone of your paper. It should be clear, concise, and reflect the main argument or finding of your research. Everything in your paper should support or relate to this statement.
4. Create an Outline: Organize your thoughts and structure your paper before you start writing. An outline helps you see the big picture and ensures a logical flow of ideas.
5. Write a Compelling Introduction: Grab your reader’s attention with a strong opening. Provide background information and clearly state your thesis. Your introduction should set the stage for the rest of the paper.
6. Craft Clear, Coherent Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Start with a topic sentence, provide evidence or examples, and explain how it relates to your argument. Use transitions to maintain flow.
7. Use Credible Sources: Back up your arguments with evidence from credible sources. Peer-reviewed journals, books by experts, and official statistics are generally reliable. Avoid questionable websites and outdated materials.
8. Analyze, Don’t Just Describe: Go beyond summarizing your sources. Critically analyze the information, compare different viewpoints, and explain the significance of your findings. Show how your research contributes to the field.
9. Write a Strong Conclusion: Summarize your main points and restate your thesis (in a new way). Discuss the implications of your findings and suggest areas for future research. Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression.
10. Revise and Edit: Don’t submit your first draft. Take time to revise for clarity, coherence, and consistency. Check for grammar, punctuation, and formatting errors. Consider getting feedback from peers or mentors.
11. Properly Cite Your Sources: Avoid plagiarism by correctly citing all sources. Follow the required citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.) consistently. Proper citations add credibility to your paper and acknowledge the work of other researchers.
12. Stay Organized and Manage Your Time: Break down the writing process into manageable steps and set deadlines for each. Use tools like reference managers (Zotero, Mendeley) to keep your sources organized. Staying on schedule reduces stress and improves the quality of your work.

Remember, writing a research paper is a process. Don’t rush it, and give yourself time to think, write, and revise. Good luck, and happy writing!

Welcome back to IT Pro Tuesday!
In the latest Security Swarm Podcast: "Microsoft’s SFI Expansion, UK’s New PSTI Law & Updates on Change Healthcare Attack,” we discuss the cybersecurity landscape based on data from the Monthly Threat Report for May 2024. We cover a range of news items, including Microsoft’s recent announcement to expand the Secure Future Initiative, the new PSTI (Product Security and Telecommunications Infrastructure) Act in the UK and a significant brand impersonation campaign targeting the German financial entity Commerzbank. Additionally, you'll hear updates on the Change Healthcare ransomware attack.
We're looking for your favorite tips and tools we can share with the community... those that help you do your job better and more easily. Please share your suggestions on the IT Pro Tuesday subreddit, and we'll be featuring them in the coming weeks.
Now on to this week's list!
A Free Tool
Iamroot DNS Lookup is an online tool for resolving domain names. Supports the most-common record types and performs secondary lookups on any references in the returned DNS records. Author flems77 explains, "MX Toolbox has a lot of excellent tools, but for basic DNS lookups, I had a really hard time finding any basic and simple tool with low-key results. So, I actually made my own."
A Tip
A solution-finding strategy suggested by Bleglord:
Adding site:Reddit.com to searches for odd issues with no documentation online.
A Podcast
Packet Protector is a new offering from Packet Pushers that covers the latest security headlines as well as delving into tech and strategic insights on a wide range of essential networking topics. SevaraB says, "[it] gets into good security day-to-day operational stuff without getting quite as ranty as Steve Gibson."
Another Free Tool
SoftPerfect Network Scanner is a universal IPv4/IPv6 scanner that can ping, scan ports, and discover shared folders. Includes flexible filter and display options. lpbale0 adds, "It is robust, extensible, and updated on a regular basis. You can also integrate NMAP for Windows into it. Yea, NMAP for Windows, I said it, flame me."
A Tutorial
Modifying XML, JSON, INI configuration files without sed is a detailed blog post explaining an alternative method for adjusting config files, including the relevant code. pdp10 favors this approach to using "sed, jq, xmlstarlet, augtool for elegantly modifying config files."
P.S. Bonus Free Tools
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Have a fantastic week and as usual, let us know any comments.